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maskedninja · 3 years

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soulmate who wasn’t meant to be– levi x gn!reader

Last chapter

— cw: angst, toxic relationships, swearing, self-esteem issues.

(Unedited)

— song: Brutal

01. Stage one: Denial

"broken ego, broken heart"

y|n woke up to the sound of birds chirping and radiating sunshine. The window was open and the morning breeze brushed their face delicately as their eyes adjust to the light. In other circumstances, this moment might have been deemed a perfect morning but to y|n it was simply the universe's way of mocking them as the memories from the night start creeping in.

“It’s best if we end it,” he had said.

So easily and nonchalant. Like it didn’t hurt him, as if it was truly for the best.

The broken-hearted lover could not grasp how he could possibly think that. All-nighters, the reassuring hand-squeezes, the discrete kisses in the middle of the day, they surely had to have meant something. To y\n those were unmistakable signs of love but were they wrong to think they meant the same to him. Levi had never told them he loved them. It may be that their first mistake was to assume he did.

Y|n never exerted any expectations of verbal affection on him because they believed him when he said he was just not the sentimental type. But maybe things were much more simple than that — he couldn't say it because he didn't mean it and Levi could be many things but a liar was not one of them. His sincerity was almost obnoxious to y|n and if he had said it was for the best then he was probably convinced that it was. “What does that asshole even know about what’s best for me?” They said to themselves trying hard to ignore the faint voice in the back of their mind that want to burst into his office and scream "It's you, Levi, YOU ARE RIGHT FOR ME."

After a few minutes of contemplation, a slight headache started to creep in. It must have been from all the crying that accompanied the night before, leaving y|n dehydrated and alone. Nightmares had tormented them the whole night. Nightmares of being lost, alone, and being devoured by the Titans over and over again. No one to save them.

Not anymore.

y|n had to admit that having Levi on their side had filled them with an unconscious sense of security, that had now become apparent because it was no longer there. To have humanity's strongest soldier look after you is more than anyone could ever ask for and y|n started to realize they had taken that fact for granted.

Would he still care? Or would he deem the effort useless as he has had to do with many of their comrades?

In comparison to Levi, y|n deemed themselves a lousy soldier. They couldn’t help but think that at this rate, it was probable that they would die before they got to rise up to the next rank. Most people did, so why would they be the exception? And well if they really thought about it, it had been extremely telling that Levi picked Eld, Petra, and even Oluo over them to be part of the special operation’s squat. Eld and Y|n had started serving at the survey corps at the same time and had similar stats. Whatever the reason was for Levi choosing Eld over her haunts y|n's mind constantly, especially in moments like this where Levi's feelings for them were questionable. Which, not surprisingly, happened quite often.

A loud knock disrupted y|n instructive thoughts, making them aware of the way that it seemed to be brighter than usual and how they can hear voices on the distan..ce.

Oh..

The person at the other side of the door knocked once again, their voice accompanied by a hint of worry. “Y|n! Y|n! are you’re here? You’re usually the first one up, are you okay? Mike is looking for you everywhere! Y|n!!”

“What do you mean, Hange? What time is it?” They shouted.

"Way past 10! get up!"

"Fuck, I'm coming!" Y|n said as they frantically put on their uniform, dishevel and messy in a way that Levi would hate. Their perfectly crafted persona, quickly crumbled in front of everyone the moment Levi left them. How pathetic.

Things couldn't get worst, they thought. But of course, they could and they always do.

Y|n got a "well-deserve" reprimand from her Capitan, Mike, who although very strong and overall very capable relies on y|n's organization and administrative skills way too much. On top of that, Erwin himself had caught them trying to sneak out of the dormitories past breakfast, and worst of all, Levi was with him. Erwin gave y\n a long sermon about how soldiers of their caliber should never be late and how he was disappointed in them or something like that … y|n could only notice how Levi could not even spare them a glance. Did he truly hate them that badly?

Once Erwin finally decided it had been enough pestering for the day, he took off, leaving the former lovers all on their own.

“Are we, um are we good?” His voice was full of doubts and embarrassment, it made y|n flinch for a second. If they didn't know him better, they might have thought there was something seriously wrong with the Capitan. But his vulnerability often came out when they were alone and she had seen the parts of him that he tried so hard to keep from everyone else, one of them being shame which he only ever shown in extremely rare and unfortunate occasions.

“Of course, why wouldn’t we be? Just because we broke up doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends, right?”

Y|n face could have fooled anyone, but not Levi. Their smiles was forced, their shoulders seemed tense, and their crossed arms mirrored the metaphorical wall between them.

“Right ... y|n, I realize that just leaving after saying that was.. um, immature of me. Pass by my office at 4, we can talk about it”

“Oh, I mean it seemed that you said all that you had to say but sure, Levi. Thanks”

A million possibilities of the pending conversation plagued y|n's mind the whole day. What else did he have to say? There were hundreds of ways this conversation could go and only about five outcomes were in y|n's favor. Would he have them removed from the survey crops in an attempt to avoid them? Maybe he would report their relationship to Erwin, knowing full well y|n would get the short end of the stick. Yet, maybe … just maybe ..there is a possibility that things would be fine. Perhaps they would laugh a little bit, the tension will be broken and he … apologizes, blames it all on anger and fear. Embraces them tightly, as he tends to do after long excursions and particularly hard missions and in that moment, they both will know that everything was going to be okay.

Levi wanting to actually “talk” was very strange but perhaps a good sign for their relationship. They can only hope he realized their relationship is worth fighting for, even if it puts them both in an uncomfortable position at first.

That has to be It, y|n thought. Levi and y|n always understood each other, their quality time together never seemed like a chore, and their casual conversations flowed endlessly. Surely, their breakup was a momentary thing.

Among all training and thinking, four finally came to be.

y|n prepared their usual, two cups of black tea directly imported from Wall Sina. No sugar and freshly made. As if it was any other day, y|n made their way to Levi's office.

A scene they had now become accustomed to displayed before them. Petra came out of Levi's office wide-eyed and blushed. Y|n tried to repress their jealousy, clinging to the last bit of hope they had for their relationship. His voice echoed in their head, repeating the phrase he has said so many times before, "She's my subordinate y/n. We're just ... friends."

Just friends.

Ironically enough, Captain Levi was not one to be known for having very many friends.

Y/n watches with sad eyes but even in their broken-hearted state they still hope all of this is an unfortunate misunderstanding. They must be really good friends, they thought to themself as they watched from a distance.

y/n clear their throat to make their presence known by the comrades. Petra quickly changes her stance distancing herself from Levi but unable to hide her fluster demeanor.

“I can come back later if this is a bad time”

“No, I was just leaving! Nice to see you, y|n.” She waved energetically towards them and turned to Levi giving the signature salute “Capitan.”

Y|n watched her walk away. Her perfectly straight hair bounced with every step. Her uniform was impeccable and her stance showed leadership and self-confidence. Petra Rall: incredibly agile, has close to perfect control of ODM great, a team player, and most importantly, a kind person. How could anyone hate her? And yet, here they were secretly harboring resentment of the lowest form — resentment over a man. “I suppose I never claimed to be a good person” y|n thinks.

“Are you coming inside?” Levi said disrupting y|n from her thoughts, which made them flush in embarrassment. Had they been staring at Petra for too long?

“Right, sorry” y\n walked in into the office cautiously. For a moment, feeling like everything around them was made out of the most fragile glass and that any of their brute movements, for more delicate than they pretend to be, would make the whole thing burst into a million tiny pieces, making the whole thing irreparably damaged.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Levi was the first to speak.

“So?”

y|n did not understand how such innocuous words could ignite such terrible anger inside of them. “So?” was that the best he could come up with after causing irrevocable damage to their heart? Their face remained cold and expressionless, but their knuckles were turning a bright shade of red.

“Oh, well, I don’t know. You asked me to come here, remember?” Their soft-spoken voice masked every feeling of exasperation they may have been feeling but even the blind could tell this facade was a ticking time bomb.

“You don’t want to talk about it?” His voice was as cool and calm as ever. He even had the audacity to sound genuinely confused. Inside, his insides were twisting. To see you be hurt because of him did affect him but a decision had been taken and he did not feel as he owed an explanation for following a gut feeling. A feeling that often saved his life and one that he was not about to start ignoring now. He noticed the tightness of the first y|n’s holding in their lap and almost as an instinct reaction, he put his hand over theirs in a reassuring manner, not measuring the implication behind the action.

y|n looked at their hands and then back to his eyes and they could have sworn somewhere in there, they saw the love and care Levi had for them. To them, it had been undeniable and suddenly all the anger decimated.

There is hope.

“I do, it’s why I’m here.” Y|n brought their hands closer to their heart and close the distance between their faces, “Listen, Levi, I know it's hard for you to talk about your feelings and that’s okay. I just want you to know, I’m willing to make this work.”

“Wait, what? Y|n, no, that's not ...”

“Well, you asked me to come here to talk this thought, right? Well, here I am. Tell me where I went wrong, I will fix it. I will fix us.” He closed his eyes in regret, just know noticing how his action could be misconstrued. It was difficult to suddenly start acting a certain way with a person that just yesterday was still your partner. Levi now understood this. He quickly let go of their hand in a movement that was rather harsh. He tried to do the right thing, he thought. He tried to talk it out, make things right hoping their friendship will continue only for y|n to make it all about themself and their feelings, at least in his perception.

“Wait.. no. Why are you trying to make this all about yourself y|n?”

For a moment, y|n did not know how to react. They felt sadness, anger, and immense embarrassment. All together and all at once. They had never been so overwhelmed by so many negative emotions in such a short amount of time. “Not for one second did you stop to consider maybe, just maybe, this is what I wanted.”

The implication of that sentence left y|n’s mouth dry and unrelentlessly upset. Unable to utter a single word, y\n resorted to actions — smashing Levi’s teacup to the ground and walking away at once, ignoring Levi’s swears and demanding shouts.

All y\n had ever done was try their best — to be the strongest, the smartest, the kindness. The best soldier, the best lover, the best person. For Levi, for their friends, for the Survey Corps, God, even for Humanity — a bunch of ungrateful strangers that hated them and couldn’t care less about the countless sacrifices being made.

“Is this the kind of thanks I get?” y|n said to no one in particular. Almost was able to visualize the Universe laughing at them, once again.

God, it’s brutal out here.

#levi ackerman #levi angst #levi ackerman x reader #levi headcanons #levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi aot #levi x petra #snk imagines #levi ackerman x petra ral #aot #levi #levi snk #shingeki no kyoujin levi #captain levi

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crystalsenergy · 3 years

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positions to touch the Shadow: the journey to your Self - # 1 (contacting our fragilities, fears, pain and so on)

pics not mine

Shadow: what is it? - The Shadow is an archetype by Carl Jung about what would be potential traumas / problems / characteristics of ourselves that we decided to hide from others and/or us. these Shadows, although they seem useless to people - because they are completely important for true self-knowledge. people hide this in an attempt to live without them, thinking they will succeed.

advice: it's important that you respect your pace, so as not to suffer the consequences of such abrupt contact with your "internal enemies". i have some experience with people who were completely unaware of their problems that, for me, were clearly appearing in their behavior in an unnoticed and irrational way, and when these people touched their Shadows, they went through moments of shock and a slight crisis for ask themselves about different points in their life. it's like opening the chest of that room hidden from your mind and finding significant points that influence your personality and, consequently, ending up also in contact with the memories of what may have originated all of this in the life experience of these people. it's delicate, so we need to respect our own time. on the other hand, i have also dealt with people who, when in contact with their Shadows, didn't feel so much sudden suffering and confusion, but an even greater hunger for knowing themselves. if you already know yourself and know that you don’t have to go so calmly, go for it. otherwise: respect your time, but don't miss the opportunity, don't waste time. the sooner we start looking for the completeness of our personality, the better it gets.

▪ PLANETS ▪

- Saturn: Saturn is present in our daily lives, in the sense that it appears within us (since the positions and aspects with Saturn influence our personality) in different situations, showing us where we lack maturity, where we need to evolve. Saturn is that internal voice (which can be increased or decreased depending on our life experiences) that tells us where we aren't good, that makes us be more rigid with ourselves. the positions of Saturn refer to the most practical thing and that turn out to be much more conscious than the other planets and asteroids. however, even so, i have seen cases of people who evidently have low self-esteem, which is explained by a position and an aspect with Saturn (Sun square Saturn + Saturn in Aries) but who admit none of this to themselves, however, a person who is outside and observes them, notes several irrational and defensive behaviors when they listen to phrases, for example, that touch their internal wounds, activating the feeling of 'not being good enough at anything'. this prevents us from evolving in the sense that the less we give light to it, the less we know each other and the more we make decisions and attitudes based on irrationality and lack of awareness of our fears and weakness.

- Pluto: our unconscious pains, the problems that we are not able to touch so easily, but that deeply affect our personality. once we touch on our Pluto issues that we try so hard to hide, we may be able to find a healthier way of dealing with almost unconscious patterns. here we have the most rotten, bad and negative feelings and sensations, the experiences that we want to forget, but that influence our personality so much. Plutonian matters (sign and house, but especially the house) speak a lot about how we project ourselves around the world. if we have the ability to analyze ourselves in a more psychological and internal way, trying to establish contact with our personal unconscious, we can transform such problems and negative feelings that we carry within us. but the first step involves letting go of the habit of hiding these problems even from yourself. Pluto wants you to let your power emerge to be reborn in the face of pain and hard phases. we all have a subject for which we will undergo transformations - be it in the way we accept that subject in our life, how we see that area in life and the way we treat others or how we treat ourselves. it's necessary to know how to overcome all the fear you have of such a subject present in the house in its positioning (example: Pluto in 7th house - excessive fear of being betrayed or left out of a relationship, going through troubled and unbalanced relationships. you need to learn through all these bad experiences).

▪ OBSERVATIONS ▪

- if you have intercepted houses, signs and planets: this means an empty area in your life, something that was not given to you or that you didn't know how to develop.

- aspects between shadow planets, asteroids cited, either among themselves (example: Saturn square Chiron, Lilith conj Pluto), or with personal planets (example: Nessus conj Venus) must also be taken into account when studying your Shadow side.

▪ ADVICE ▪

- make a mini summary of everything you have from each shadow placement and organize it all in a list, studying a point one by one.

examples:

"saturn in my natal chart 🌌✨

- saturn in aries [low self-esteem, power issues] - saturn in 8th house [rejection of my sexuality] - saturn square sun [another possibility of low self-esteem, feeling thati should not have fun, relax, have an internal father who in the end is me. me = my internal strict father.] - saturn opposite neptune [difficulty with my psychological, with living my restrictive issues and obstacles in my life in a more creative way, embracing myself. difficulty with being complacent with myself] - saturn square chiron [a feeling that I deserve to go through what I am going through, a desire to further hide my weaknesses and show myself to the world in a more controlled and inhibited way with regard to my internal problems and pains"

"black moon lilith (true lilith, the most known) in my natal chart 🐍✨

- lilith in libra [obsession or denial of being in relationships, extreme experiences in relationships, power to transmute the way i see and deal with world and others] - lilith in 3rd house [feeling unable to know things and feeling smart, running away from conversations and socializing, having an immense power to persuade people through words, having to deal with the feeling of not being heard] - lilith square north node [feeling of having to go against my purpose in life, the possibility of self-sabotage in order to fail to fulfill what i was given as a task for this life, i may have difficulty embracing my most intense and dense sides of my personality . and at the same time i can have an immense power and energy to evolve using this intense energy in a positive way]"

▪ FICTIONAL POINT ▪

- Black Moon Lilith (h13 'True Lilith'): deep power to transmute the energies of pain of Dark Lilith and humiliation of asteroid Lilith. Black Moon Lilith represents the obsession, the escape, what we really do with all our unconscious energy and potentials. where you can experience the ambivalence of extreme desire and extreme denial / rejection. where you can pass through a deep transformation / meatamorphose.

▪ ASTEROIDS ▪

- Lilith (1181): where you are confrontational, impulsive, where you seek exile and rebellion because of feeling suppressed, humiliated or incapable. where there is refusal, emotional and psychic frustrations. where you feel untrustworthy, shameful. how is the core of your wound and how it was experienced by yourself. the projections in collective expectations and where you refuse to agree to them. where you experience pain, passion, redemption. the core of these issues.

- Dark Lilith (h58 'Waldemath Black Moon'): the most hurt and intense side of Lilith. psyche instincts. it's when you feel pain because of the suppression that you experienced and where you have an extremely pain to deal, what can lead you to seek revenge or simply act in defensive / aggressive ways. represents your reaction to your original pains (1181 Lilith). it is an intense energy and if it isn'tr used correctly, it can lead you to self-destruction or it can even lead you to insert this energy from your frustrations and negations into your human experiences. if we get lost in the middle of our pain, we can become selfish and project our negative experiences and emotions on the community or on other people.

- Chiron: where there is more pain within you, the situations in which you are most vulnerable and that you seem to be unable to cope with at all. represents cycles of pain in your life. it can also represent things that you feel you were "born" to have to deal with. it also represents subjects in which you sin when it comes to healing but you are / can be extremely good at healing others.

- Nessus: where you can experience some type of abuse, toxicity or abusive experience. acts of violence and situations of this kind.

- Proserpina (26): where you can have to work to leave the fantasy aside, where you may not have maturity. it represents a cycle of killing and grieving the child's fragile ego, and then becoming more mature. is the loss of innocence, revival and reconstruction.

- Achilles (588): your deep weakness, deep wounding, ‘achilles heel’.

- Echo (60): where you don't believe in yourself, where you may lack self-esteem and may be little original, where you may have to deal with narcissistic people. where you are prone to being manipulated and losing your individuality to others.

- Atropos (273): where you can experience endings or transformations, loss or death that can impact you deeply.

- Narcissus (37117): where you can be indifferent, selfish, what needs to be improved; or where you may have to experience situations of manipulation, being with people in general or with someone really narcissistic, or it can mean in which subject you will have to deal with extreme disinterest, lack of empathy, or abuse on the part of people, which can cause you deep pain.

- Karma (3811): karmic issues, which seems like you have to deal with this life in a repetitive and tiring way. which can bring you a feeling of helplessness, circumstances of pain and difficulties.

- Dionysus (3671): where you can have a double nature. where you can have addictions, and a tendency to get easily intoxicated.

- Grieve (4451): one more tip about possibilities for grief, sorrow.

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yandere-wishes · 4 years

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How the Original Villains Act With Their Twisted Wonderland Counterparts Part 2

I’ve had well over twenty requests for a part 2, so here it is. Please enjoy.

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Meeting the two Scarabia boys is an utter nightmare for Jafar! Moreso it's a dream come true....dressed like a nightmare. The poor sand sorcerer didn't even know how he turned from evil genius to exhausted stay at home father overnight. It could have been because he had to save Kalim and Jamil from crashing a flying carpet. Or when he had to get the two young boys to make up after a huge fight. Either way, Jafar has become their -unwilling- illegitimate father.

He's always running around after Kalim trying to make sure he doesn't get himself killed in some way shape or form. At one point Jafar got so fed up that he just baby-proofed all of Scarabia....and still Kalim ended up with a mild concussion and broken rib. Even though the young royal is way more trouble than he's worth, Jafar still deeply cares for him, in a twisted, melodic manner he tries to morphe his relationship with Kalim as what he could have had with the sultan. Sure it's a lot of work, but it's rewarding. Just seeing the white-haired boy smile and wrapped his arms around Jafar's waist is worth more than all the treasures in the cave of wonders.

As for Jamil....well Jafar has high expectations for him. He sees so much raw potential in the boy, a glimmer of what he, himself could have been! It's comical really, how desperately Jafar tries to give Jamil everything that he lacked in life. He's always boosting the younger boy's ego, molding him to believe that he is the best! It's something Jamil never had in his life, someone who tells him that he can -and one day will be- more than just a slave.

Although he tries to mold Jamil in his image, Jafar also does try to keep both boys on friendly terms. He'd hate to see either of them wind up the way he did, lost, and forgotten in a lamp made of his own misery.

The concept of a family has always been an oddity for Hades.

The lord of the dead detests his actual family. Brothers and nephews prancing around in the spotlight, whilst he's left to dwell in the neverending darkness of the underworld. Families are useless, they're nothing more than thrones that prick your finger every time your inches away from plucking the roses of victory.

Although he'd be lying if he didn't say that there was something...exceptional about the two Shroud brothers. They're bizarrely co-dependent, needing one another to function properly. Without one the other turns into a blundering mess of "ERRORS" and "CAN NOT PROCESS, PLEASE REBUT AND TRY AGAIN LATER". The words don't really make much sense to Hades, but the intention his clear. They're two halves of a dysfunctional whole.

It's even more alarming when the two boys -who, the lord of the dead, is starting to notice look a little too much like him- start to open up to him. Letting him stay in their room and permitting him to ramble about his horrible family and "shiny" nephew for hours on end. For the first time since his creation, Hades starts to get the slightest feeling that maybe, just maybe he might be wanted by someone, that someone (or someones) does indeed care about him.

The feeling only starts to spread when Ortho falls into the habit of calling him "Bampás" and wrapping his icy cold metallic arms around his waist. It's not an unpleasant feeling, just a bit shocking and almost to an extent, painful. It brings back rage-filled memories of watching Jercules and his dear big bro hugging, memories of how left out he felt everywhere, of how for almost all eternity he was doomed to be alone.

However, it's not like he doesn't enjoy the hug, it shows the effort the little boy puts in showing just how much he loves his newly found father. Its teeth rotting sweet and...precious, yeah that's a good word for it.

Idia's more drawn back both physically and emotionally. He's constantly hunched over the glowing cube, watching armored heroes slaughtering each other and oddly attractive girls arguing over some plain, boring looking guy. It's a bit annoying, but Hades is all too familiar with the lack of interest in leaving one's dwelling and interacting with others, so he lets it slid...or rather he used to.

As Idia gets used to Hades' looming presence he starts talking a LOT more, never really stops rambling about some new "game" or "movie". It's all dandy, over the centuries Hades has become an expert in pretending to listen to others, a key talent when associating with the other deities of Olympus. However, when Idia starts trying to get him to use that glowing cube or a smaller version that fits in his hand, Hades starts wishing he'd paid more attention to the young god's endless verbose.

The chairs in this century are annoyingly uncomfortable and Idia's constant muttering of the word "boomer" isn't helping. Every time Hades presses a wrong key button thing and Idia mutters that irritating word, he half expects the cube to blow up. Plus why must that light coming from the inside be so damn bright, his eyes are starting to peel out of their sockets.

Ortho's a bit more helpful, explaining in superfluous detail what everything is for. Although each word coming from the boy's mouth just seems like pointless gibberish.

Hades is starting to think that getting that hunk of moussaka out of his throat was easier than understanding these two.

Maleficent has a habit of being just a bit too proud of the four Diasomnia boys.

Silver and Sebek are competent in her mind, which in and of its self is a compliment coming from the witch of thrones. They don't trip over themselves, they understand that babies do in fact grow into adults, and most importantly they are willing to die for their master. They'd make perfect henchmen, better than what she had in her time.

Lilia is an ever-present paradox to the mistress of evil. Ever since she found herself being alive once more, things from the past have gained the nasty habit of disappearing almost entirely from her memory. She swears one her stolen wings that she knows Lilia personally from lifetimes ago. But she can never remember where exactly they met or why every time he looks at her, his eyes are filled with a sort of distant sadness. Like an ancient wound that never healed right.

Malleus is special, to say the least. He's her grandson, after all, a reminder that all she did in this world was NOT in vain. His personality is even a carbon copy of her's, distant and secluded yet humble and fierce. He's been able to climb the ranks to fifth strongest mage worldwide, a feat unaccomplished by others in their family.

It's become a rather alleviate pass time to submerge the four ( she's probably older than Lilia) young man in old tails and fantasies about the ancient times. Tales about how the evil human kings would seek to destroy the fae folk. How some fairies even sided with those pesky humans. Their looks of astonishment (and Lilia's look of satisfaction) soothes the old witch's, rotten heart. It even jolts some memories of a young blond girl, one who would always florrick through the forest by Malificent's side. Beasty was her name, or at least she thinks it was and in some odd prank played by fate she sees Beasty's cheerfulness in all their faces.

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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Hi! I was reading through your meta (which is reeeeally interesting) and noticed you said you don't like Eleazar? I was wondering why that was?

Tumblr ate this ask when I had almost finished it and I hate everything. Also, thanks for the compliment, I’m really glad you like my things.

Now to try and remember what I wrote about Eleazar…

I think Eleazar is a disagreeable person whose gift wasn’t useful enough to warrant a place in the Volturi guard, and Aro jumped on the Carmen-shaped excuse to give him an honorable discharge.

To start with the gift, we see him use it twice and neither time is particularly impressive.

Siobhan Siobhan has the power of reality manipulation. Her gift is noticeable enough that Carlisle is certain she has it, so when he gets Eleazar and Siobhan in a room together he pulls Eleazar over to see if he was right. Eleazar squints at Siobhan. And he squints. Finally he says, «I’ve got nothing.» Now, gifts are an iffy, complicated matter everyone has their own theories about, but I think that at the end of the day we can all agree it’s a binary, you’re gifted or you’re not. Some gifts may be weak, but those are still gifts. And maybe someone will touch the gray zone of «is it a gift or is Johnny the vampire just really good at juggling?», but Siobhan has the power to manipulate reality, and she must do it a lot for Carlisle to have come to suspect it in the first place. She has a definitive and powerful gift. And even if I’m wrong about gifts being binary, if Eleazar wants to be useful to Aro he should still be able to say: Yes, this person has a gift, or no, this person does not have a gift. Sadly, he is not. When brought before Siobhan he says «She could have a gift, she could also not have a gift.» This means he hasn’t detected her gift, which is bad enough by itself. Being able to tell if someone has a gift or not should be a dealbreaker. The way he answers, though, that she could very well have a gift he doesn’t know about, makes it clear that people having gifts he couldn’t detect has happened enough for him to be open to the possibility that the gift there, and he can’t see it. In other words, Eleazar isn’t reliable for detecting gifts and will give Aro false negatives.

Bella This is an aside but as it’ll inevitably come up later in my blog I’ll just drop here that I think Bella’s gift is something more complex than a shield. She has prophetic dreams, hallucination!Edward, and there’s a weird inconsistency as to who is blocked by her and who isn’t. I think her gift is self-preservation, and the shield is one of its manifestations. Anyway, onto discrediting Eleazar. (I’ll be pretty closely paraphrasing what happens in chapter 31 of Breaking Dawn, but since the interaction goes on for several pages I’m not going to clutter this post by pasting all of it.) To his credit, he does notice Bella right away, and he identifies her as a shield based on the fact that he gets this sense of nothingness from her. This is all he can do, however, and I can’t stress that enough. He assumes that she can block Edward, but he’s shocked to learn that she can block Aro. He’s just as surprised that she can block Jane and Alec. He has to interview her to deduce exactly what her gift does, which again has nothing to do with his gift. Anyone could ask questions, in fact Aro found all this out two books ago, without the help of Eleazar. Eleazar then starts musing aloud about who-would-win in a Renata vs. Bella showdown (more on that later), which is as tactless as it is revealing. The guy genuinely doesn’t know, and it’s because he doesn’t understand their gifts well enough. Eleazar’s power means he can tell Bella that she has a gift, and he knows roughly what it is. He muses that usually he can’t even tell that much, which again is quite damning. He can’t tell her exactly what she does without a game of 20 questions first. She gives him more information than he gives her, which he then regurgitates back to her with slightly different wording, and everybody claps. «My god, Eleazar, you’ve done it again!» (No, really, this is pretty much what happens. Eleazar brought no new information to the table, yet he blew Bella and Edward’s minds.) It’s all fun and games to do this for Bella and Edward, as they for various reasons genuinely didn’t realize she had a gift. For Aro, who figured this one out on his own, one begins to wonder what Eleazar was bringing to the table.

Carlisle Bonus bullet point! I’ll make this one brief. I believe Carlisle in canon has a gift he’s unaware of (Yes, I have a post planned, but it will get ugly long so god knows when it’ll come), which makes him another one of Eleazar’s gift detection fails. In short, I think he’s extremely charismatic, able to win over anybody. To list a few examples - he has an extremely diverse set of friends who in Breaking Dawn are willing to lay down their lives for him, Jacob muses how his instinctive hostility around vampires doesn’t apply to Carlisle, and vampires are terrifying to humans (don’t be fooled by the movies, people) yet Carlisle is able to work as a successful doctor, meaning his patients don’t mind being exposed to a killing machine even when they’re at their most vulnerable. He’s able to keep his family of sociopaths in line. There’s not a single person in the Twilight ‘verse that dislikes him. (Billy and Caius excepted, but Billy has no direct exposure to him until late Eclipse, and Caius is responding to a coven that’s potentially threatening the Volturi) People are free to disagree with me on this one, but if I’m right (and I have a lot of book quotes as well as a theory on what gifts even are to back me up on this one. I’m right, damnit!) then Carlisle is another gifted vampire Eleazar failed to detect.

So. We’ve established that Eleazar’s gift will yield false negatives, and that he can’t tell you much about the gifts he does detect.

I think his power is to point out the obvious.

Which means that Aro’s eyelid was twitching slightly, but alright, Eleazar could still be useful.

Unfortunately, there is the matter of weighing up your pros with your cons.

The Volturi are, at the end of the day, a group of people who live in a commune together. Coven, guard, evil minions, call them what we like but they’re exposed to each other and some sense of agreeability is required. And Chelsea is not omnipotent.

More, I imagine that in a coven as large and old as the Volturi, they’ve developed a culture of their own. This means that newcomers will need social awareness and a willingness to fit in.

Eleazar, from what we see of him in Breaking Dawn, appears to lack both.

It’s in the way he speaks of the people he used to work with. It’s utterly impersonal. He tells us how their gifts work, no more and no less. When he speaks of Aro, he speaks only of actions Aro took and orders he gave, nothing about the man’s personality. Now, considering the context, he was speaking in a context where Jane’s thoughts and feelings were far from relevant, but it’s still notable.

Also notable is the fact that he has no issue contemplating a Renata vs. Bella scenario, even though this would mean the deaths of two people he worked with for years. Perhaps it’s a thought exercise, but it’s not a thought exercise I would have gotten into when it was days away from becoming reality. If Renata can’t deflect Bella’s power, she and Aro die.

I’ll put it this way - I don’t think he’d do a «who would win» like this involving Carmen.

At no point in the book does Eleazar show any concern for the eventuality that members of a guard he used to be a part of may get killed.

It seems he didn’t form personal relationships with the rest of the guard. I suspect he considered himself... if not quite above them, then still someone who could evaluate them. Their gifts is what he looked at in them. I also think it’s likely he asked Aro not to use Chelsea on him, which in turn would have made him stick out even more as there’s nothing making him and Volturi Guard Member X just click in the way I imagine Chelsea can be very helpful with. Which in turn means that the other guard members will feel close to one another in a way they’re not close to Eleazar.

Also… he’s just a douche. I’m sorry, but I don’t make the rules and the whole guy radiates douche. I can’t even point to a specific quote in the book, it’s just is.

I don’t think this guy never really fit into the Volturi guard, and his gift wasn’t useful enough to keep him. Aro was thrilled to have him at first, but as time went on and Eleazar proved to just not be all that, he eventually realized he had to get rid of him.

Because as others have pointed out before me, the Carmen excuse makes no sense. There would be no problem in one more vampire in the castle, yet Aro wouldn’t let her in and Eleazar had to choose.

It was a solution that sent Eleazar on his way with his ego intact, and no hard feelings towards the Volturi. More, Aro is on record doing this with it’s-not-you thing with at least one other vampire. Laurent wanted to join the Volturi, had nothing to bring to the table, and Aro used past association with the Romanians as an excuse for why Laurent couldn’t join rather than tell him to his face that he was useless. With Marcus, Aro, and Chelsea around, the Romanian connection isn’t a problem, meaning Aro was bullshitting.

TL;DR: Aro is the kind of person who’d lie and say his grandma died if he doesn’t want to go to your party, and Eleazar is the kind of person who’d say «My condolences».

#eleazar #aro #volturi #laurent #siobhan #bella swan #carlisle cullen #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #twilight #long post #Anonymous #ask

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silversatoru · 4 years

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the thin line between hope and despair

yelena x gn! reader

synopsis: you’re in love with yelena, and she feels nothing for for you. constant hook-ups and faded morals = very messy feelings

tags/warnings: nsfw, some smut?, angst, unrequited love, one-sided feelings, fuck buddies

word count: 2.5k

a/n: for my my sweet bby girl @brandmeyelena <3

Yelena knows what she’s doing with you isn’t right — on so many fucking levels. Taking advantage of your utter desperation for her over and over again when she knows damn well that she couldn’t care less about you. It wasn’t fair, especially for you, but she just couldn’t really find it in herself to feel sorry for someone so pitiful. You were so willing to devote yourself to her in exchange for mere crumbs of her affection, and it was pathetic. You left a sour taste in her mouth, a taste of sorrow and complete wretchedness, but you were also the perfect distraction. The perfect relief from all of her stress and all of her responsibilities with the volunteers. She was tired, and you were just so damn desperate to make her feel better — so how could she refuse? The answer was simple, she couldn’t.

That exact thought process is what landed her here today, with her fingers around your throat and your eyes rolled back into your head. She knows you love it too, being used like this — the way your cheeks grow flushed and your eyes get foggy when she cuts off the circulation to your brain. But she doesn’t do it for you — Yelena enjoys these things just as much as you do, her power hungry ego being fervently stroked by dominating you like this. Pinning you underneath of her and giving you orders made her feel in control — and that was perfect, because god knows she isn’t in control of anything else in her life right now.

Get down, she’d hiss at you, pointing to the floor with her long, slender index finger. Your pathetic frame would sink to your knees instantly, wordlessly doting to her every command. She’d lean back on her shoulders, her hips propped on the edge of the bed, and give you an expectant look. You know what to do. Do it, her voice would snarl, her empty eyes swirling with hunger. You’d feverishly obey, launching yourself forward and graciously opening your mouth for her pussy. You were dedicated to your craft, taking your time and ensuring that your tongue consumed every inch of her. Yelena’s head would fall back and, raspy, wet noises gurgled from her throat. She was entirely consumed by this twisted bliss — and she was a horrible monster for letting you do these things to her, but she felt far too good to care.

So now here you were, your tongue buried deep inside her while you worked desperately to make her feel better. She was quieter than usual today — the only things to leave her lips were small groans and half-assed insults. Things like the occasional “faster” while she pulled your hair, or “stupid slut” when you weren’t doing things quite right. The slander only made you work harder however, and honestly anything that came out of the blonde woman’s mouth was music to your ears. You stared up at her with rose-colored glasses, living in a delusional world where you truly believed Yelena cared about you.

It was a dreadfully fucked up dynamic — this relationship the two of you had, if it could even be called that. One of you lived in a terrible fantasy of what could be and the other was practically incapable of feeling human emotions. It was truly only a matter of time before the world started burning around the two of you.

A very short matter of time.

Yelena was spasming underneath of you now, warm juices and shaky convulsions racking through her body and into your mouth. You drove your tongue deep against her contracting walls, your eyes squeezed shut. A disgustingly sticky mixture of her fluids and your own saliva dripped down your chin as you finally pulled away, a bitter taste hanging on your tongue.

And Yelena was always quick to leave, she never stuck around any longer than she had to. She came, she came, and then she’d pull shitty excuses out of her ass as to why she needed to leave so soon. Those reasons more often than not consisted of one person — Zeke Yeager. Whether or not there was something romantic between the two, or if she was just highly devoted to him, you could never tell. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know, honestly, because the answer might just break your heart.

Why don’t you stay tonight, Lena? You looked over at her as she pulled her trousers up her long, gangly legs. You craved something deeper with her, something more than just occasional casual sex — but it was really too bad that she didnt reciprocate those feelings at all. Sorry, there's a meeting tonight. I have to go. She’d respond, her voice dull as she carelessly brushed you off and slipped on her boots.

Will Zeke be there? Your voice always got low when you talked about him, but you made intentional efforts to hide the jealousy in your tone. Of course he’ll be there, he is the leader, she’d state dully as if this was obvious, and maybe it was, but it still made your chest ache.

You spend a lot of time with him lately, even outside of meetings, you’d state your observations out loud for the first time. Confrontation wasn’t something you enjoyed, and you certainly weren’t any good at explaining your feelings either. But your heart was starting to nag you lately, and you needed to voice your opinions before it was too late.

We’re preparing for a war, her eyes grew incredibly narrow, try not to make such selfish accusations right now. The words were like daggers of guilt stabbing between your ribs. Yelena had a way with words — a shiny silver tongue that always made you believe what she said without a doubt. You started to believe that you were being selfish — after all the war was very real and Yelena was very involved, that's probably all it was.

You’re right, I’m sorry. I just wish you were around more. Your voice was much quieter now, shame and remorse churning in your stomach -- maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all.

We’re busy. You have to understand where I’m coming from here. It’s hard for me to make time right now, she’d continue to spew nonsense into your impressionable ears. She didn’t like that you were starting to question her, not at all. She’d say whatever you needed to hear to keep you around at this point — she didn’t plan on losing her little fuck-toy anytime soon. If you needed a little affection to keep you complacent, then she’d just need to put on a little show for you.

Come here, I’m sorry, her tone grew softer, but not at all sincere. You helplessly sunk into her spindly arms, and she pulled you tight to her chest. Just hold on until after the war, okay? Once we make the world a better place, we can do whatever you want.

More false hope, false promises, and false reassurance. The war would be brutal, you’d probably die at some point in a terrible event of collateral damage. You’d die and then Yelena would never need to fulfil her empty promises -- it was that easy, and you’d never know the difference.

That sounds nice, you’d smile, your heart warming at the idea of living in a free world with Yelena by your side. You fell ignorantly for her words, missing every single warning sign and every single red flag. Maybe if you’d noticed the subtle darkness in her eyes, the strain in her tone, or the way she hugged you a little too roughly, you could have saved yourself from the ensuing heartbreak. Or maybe if you had realized that with you being a scout and her being a follower of Zeke, it was unlikely that the two of you would ever work out. But you stupidly refused to consider any of these things, and it was going to cost you your heart.

That fateful memory was a few months ago, and now the both of you were in Marley, anxiously waiting for Eren’s plan to unfold. You were partnered with your friend Connie, his lips twisting into a thin line as the two of you hid in the shadows on top of an industrial building. You were incredibly capable with your 3dm gear, and even more capable with the new gun technology, but you were practically useless with your head in its current state. You watched the streets with fervent eyes, dashing them up and down nearby alleyways and hoping for any sign of Yelena. The attack hadn’t even started yet, but not knowing her whereabouts made you incredibly uneasy. She was probably wherever Zeke was, of course, but you liked to think that wherever she was, she was worried about you too.

Yelena was hiding in plain sight, dressed in a traditional Marleyan Army uniform with fake facial hair wrapped around her chin. She did as she was ordered, trapping two of the titan shifters in a large hole and then retreating back to her position. She was focused solely on her task, and on Zeke and how she could ensure his safety, and honestly, the thought of you hadn’t crossed her mind once tonight.

When Eren’s attack came, it came suddenly and violently -- and it was like nothing you’ve ever seen before, or at least not since the colossal and armored titans attacked so many years ago. Before you could even take in the horrifying scene in front of you, Connie was grabbing your hand and ushering you to run, the two of you taking off with your 3dm gear. You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering as your body swung through the air, frantically searching the streets for the tall, blonde woman who owned your heart. But maybe you should have paid less attention to finding her, and more attention to where you were going.

Connie’s shrill scream shook you to your core, and at first you didn’t even notice the array of guns pointed right at the two of you. A group of Marleyan soldiers were lined up atop a building, every single nozzle of their firearms preparing to shoot at you and Connie. Your friend shot his gear downwards, swooping underneath the scope of the guns and shouting at you to follow him. And you tried, you really did, but you were horribly distracted and accidentally shot your gear into the very edge of a building. The hook crumbled the corner of the building and was unable to secure itself, sending you hurling to the ground beneath you. Your breath was wiped clean from your chest as you smacked against the ground, dust and dirt filling your lungs. Connie was forced to swing up onto a higher building, narrowly avoiding the bullets and unable to come down after you. Your bones ached as you peeled yourself off the ground, looking up just to see pieces of rubble hurling towards you. What the FUCK, Eren? You silently cursed out that irresponsible titan boy, scrambling to avoid the giant chunks of building that were quickly getting closer.

You thought you’d made it, your heart beat gushing in your ears as you launched yourself towards another building, only to be knocked back down by a slab of broken concrete. Pained yelps squeezed out from your throat as your body fell helplessly back to the ground. This fall did a number on you, your ears ringing and your head pounding with a dull pain. The large piece of rubble had crashed into one of your legs, rendering your leg immobile and absolutely crushing your gear. Connie couldn’t help you, not when saving you guaranteed his own demise — you needed to do this on your own, unless-

“Yelena!” You called out to the towering woman who was stumbling towards you. Her arm was wrapped around an injured Zeke, and she was working hard to carry him to safety. Levi must have rocked his shit again, you’d have to thank him for that if you made it out of this alive.

Yelena stopped momentarily when she saw your mangled leg, but not even an ounce of concern crossed her determined face. She looked you up and down, and then glanced down at Zeke as if she was weighing her options.

“I’m sorry,” She shot you a horribly unsypathetic look, dragging her gaze away from you and hurrying off with the injured blonde boy.

It was so simple, so short, and there wasn't the smallest hint of remorse in her voice. Your brain couldn’t process how easy it was for her to leave you there, your mouth hanging open in a small “o”. You would give your life for Yelena, and she didn’t even blink when you were faced with certain death — and that’s when it all started to set in. The delusional facade that you’d imagined between the two of you was shattering, small pieces of glass memories crashing and crumbling around you. The cruel owner of your pitiful heart felt nothing for you, and it had taken this long for you to finally realize.

All of the days and nights the two of you spent entangled in each other's arms had meant nothing. All of the time you spent with your lips locked against hers and her large hands caressing your body had been devoid of anything more than lust for her. Terrible embarrassment washed up inside of you as you recalled all of the sinful things you did for this cold-hearted, unfeeling woman.

Your motivation to fight was gone, your eyes locked onto Yelena’s tall figure as she ran further away and out of view. She’d picked Zeke over you again, she always did, and she always would. She practically worshiped him, like he was some kind of fucked up, twisted god. You weren’t sure why you ever thought you could compete with that.

In the midst of your complete breakdown, a firm arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the air. Connie had come back for you, cold air stinging your face as the two of you shot up to the safety of a tall, nearby building.

“Fuck, y/n, stop being so careless! And I hope you’ll finally give up on that lanky bitch after she walked right past you like that,” he let out an exasperated breath, slumping behind a large brick wall.

“Sorry… thank you,” you mumbled, “You really shouldn’t have risked your life like that”.

“No, but that’s what people are supposed to do when they care about each other. Is it finally sinking in, that she's been using you for the past year? I tried to tell you so many time-,” He continued to ramble on in frustration.

Every one of his words poured salt into your already burning wounds, tears beginning to leak from your eyes. Yelena didn’t care about you, she never did — she’d never even sacrificed time for you, never mind compromising her or Zeke’s safety for you. And you were stupidly ignorant to ever think that she saw you as more than a toy she used to pass the time.

#yelena #yelena angst #yelena attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #yelena x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan angst

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pipipinyyy · 3 years

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Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ლ(◞‿◟ლ)

#Spotify #imawa no kuni no alice #alice in borderland #alice in borderland netflix #niragi #niragi suguru #suguru niragi #character playlist #aib niragi #aib #overanalyzing niragi is my favorite hobby

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the-silentium · 4 years

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In Emergency Only

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Words: 2120 words

Warnings: TUA season 1 and 2 spoilers, violence, blood, sexual innuendos.

Requested by: Anon!

Your last fic about Five was so good!! Loved your unique twist you added and the interactions were so believable. Definitely one of my fav fics! If requests are open, could you do one of the same reader reacting to Five fighting and kicking ass, would they fight too or just hang out in the back and wait? Big fan and I love your work

A/N: Still 30 years old Five here! Same Reader and Five as in Doppelganger! Sorry for the title, I really had no idea. Oups.

The music playing in the background brought a smile to your face. You loved to learn more about different cultures and their different people dancing the Polka almost made you regret the reason of your little visit. You swore that this woman, the Handler, had Five in the middle of her palm, enraging your boyfriend to no end, but he sucked up his ego and accepted her deal to save his family.

You followed Five through the enormous cabin. The architecture was truly beautiful, catching your eyes quite easily. You were occupied by admiring an intriguing animal carved into the wood that you didn’t see Five stopping in front of a vending machine and slammed into his side. He was quick to get a hold of your arms before you fell to the ground and hurt your behind, pulling you into his chest with a seductive smile on his kissable lips.

“Distracted?”

You rolled your eyes at him before pecking his lips. “I just like slamming into you.” Five’s groan made you chuckle before you turned your attention to the assortment of snacks displayed behind the glass.

“See something you want?” Five buried his face into your neck, tickling you with his warm breath. Giggling, you pushed him away and pointed to a chocolate bar in the middle of the display. It has been a while since you last ate some, so you figured why not? You knew that you were sitting this one out, so eating would not be a problem.

“Please?” You offered him your best puppy eyes, although you knew that it wasn't necessary. He asked you first after all.

“Sure.” He pecked your lips one last time, turned to the machine while digging some money in his pocket and inserted the coins into the slot. He pressed the letter and number assigned to the candy and karma decided to hit you by stopping the spiral metal thing before the sweet could fall down.

Frustrated, Five tried typing in the code again, without success. You knew that at this point in time, Five was getting pretty impatient. The last days haven’t been easy on him, especially when you almost got shot by one of the Swedes and every one of his siblings was scattered around town and not listening to him, causing Five to get irritated pretty easily.

You grabbed his arm to calm him down when he started to push the machine and pulled him along with you to the cake further down the hallway. The only way to calm down Five was to allow him to successfully grant your wishes of eating something and the cake would do just fine.

You quickly dipped your pointer finger into the icing, turned to him and when he opened his mouth to voice his anger you shut him up by putting your finger into his mouth. His pissed-off expression soon morphed into a cocky one when he noticed the red coloring your cheeks, proceeding to see if the color could reach your neck by sucking harder on your finger. Embarrassed by his antics, you retrieved your hand and hid your face in his chest.

“This icing is heavenly.” He chuckled before reaching for something behind your back. “Look up.” You reluctantly did as told, dreading what you would find. Instead of being hit square in the face by a hand full of icing like you feared, a single maraschino cherry dangled between Five’s fingers, two inches away from your mouth. Instantly, your mouth started to water, the sweet ingredient had always been your favorite part of a dessert. “Open up.”

You would have blushed if it wasn’t for your excitement of eating the prized cherry. You didn’t hesitate to tilt your head and open your mouth to the incoming sweet, a delighted moan filled Five’s ears when you grabbed the fruit between your teeth and chewed.

“Now that’s a sound I like to hear.” The bliss of the cherry moment now over, your blush came back full force at his innuendo. You weren’t used to his flirty attitude, he was gone for 17 years and as young teenagers, your relationship wasn’t really oriented in that direction. You had to remind yourself that he was, in fact, 58 years old regardless of his physical appearance.

A kiss fell on your cheek and Five let go of you to make his way to the fire axe on the opposite wall.

“Do you think preventing the end of the world is enough of an emergency?”

You smiled at his question and nodded once in approbation. “Definitely.”

He winked at you before grabbing the axe with both hands and walked into the room. He passed in front of you and you took care of closing the door after yourself, this time your job was to keep watch and stop anyone from entering the room. Because it was the Commission’s board that was targeted, Five had thought it wise to take the matter into his own hands and keep you out of it.

You weren’t against it, the memory of the barrel of an automatic rifle pressed at the back of your head was still pretty vivid and every time you thought about it you had goosebumps. In other circumstances, you were sure that you would have participated in some kind of way. Maybe with a knife or something, the fire axe was definitely out of your mental capacity.

You had helped Five in some of his fights before. Not every fight, but some of them. You were impressed by the amount of bloody fighting your boyfriend could be engaged in and were truly amazed that every time he would get out almost without a scratch.

Back at Griddy’s, you had to hide behind the counter where Five teleported you and wait until he had neutralized every armed guy in the room. You knew how to defend yourself, having followed some training with the Hargreeves when you were kids, but your skills were useless when guns were involved. This was the very first time you had seen the extent of Five’s ability. Never would you have thought that his space-jumping would be that effective.

Then there was the fight with the Swedes in the Mexican consulate. The absence of guns gave you the opportunity to land some punch to the tough Swedes hitting the shit out of your boyfriend, the perfect distraction for him to throw the white-haired out the window. You hissed out of empathy for the guy before fist-bumping with Five and space-jump outside.

Screams erupted from the room Five recently entered. Curiously, you made your way to the open doors to assess what you were sure was a gory scene. In the 2 seconds it took you to reach the doors, Five had already neutralized 4 of the board members and was quickly axing his way further into the room. You’ve never feared blood, your uncle had a butcher shop and you helped sometimes to put the meat into packages, nothing too dangerous, and while you helped you had seen the carcass of different animals being emptied from their organs so you were certain that you could handle whatever was happening in the next room.

A blue spot flashed before your eyes and Five appeared at the same time a man hit a wall and fell down with a lamp. You rolled your eyes when Five took the time to take a sip from a glass, the next thing you knew a guy was hanging from the ceiling and three more board members were dead in a pool of blood. As much as you hated the view of dismembered bodies, you had to admit that Five was pretty efficient in his work. You managed to make eye contact with your boyfriend when he stopped for a second behind the last Commissioner, Five shooed you with one hand so you obeyed. If he thought that you couldn’t handle it, then you couldn’t. End of story. You had to admit that the sound of the axe hitting the bones was pretty disturbing, the sound occasionally made you shiver in disgust.

You had your back pressed to the closed doors separating the bloody scene worthy of a horror movie and the welcoming Polka party, patiently waiting for your boyfriend to return victorious when a man with a fish tank as head stopped running when he saw you. If possible, you were as stunned as he was. You weren’t prepared to face a non-human person and he clearly wasn't prepared to see someone guarding the exit.

However, he was faster than you to regain his senses and try to push past you. His sudden movements made you jump, his hands were almost on your arm when Five appeared in front of you and pushed the weird robot-man-fish away from you.

“Surely we can come to some form of agreement that benefits both parties.” Your eyes widen at the voice, not expecting the fish to be able to talk. You tilted your head to the side so that you were able to see over Five’s shoulder and take a second look at the panicking talking goldfish. “Quid pro quo? What do you say?” Oh. His hope was cute.

“Why not? Here’s your quid.” Five hit the human body’s leg with what you noted wasn’t the fire axe but something that looked like a cricket bat. “Here’s your pro.” He hit him again on the opposite leg. “Here’s your quo.” Five charged his hit as much as he could without hitting you with the bat, the fish’s pleas reaching your ears, then Five smashed the tank as hard as he could. The glass exploded, water got everywhere, the body fell to the ground in a thud and the goldfish dropped to the ground.

As Five took a deep breath, you carefully stroked his back in a soothing manner before crouching to retrieve the gasping fish. You already had a bag ready for it, looking around you found a vase proudly showing off its beautiful purple flowers. You disposed of the flowers and poured the vase’s water into your plastic bag. Turning around you met your boyfriend with the fish’s tail trapped between his fingers, its head facing the ground. Hurriedly, you made your way toward them as you felt bad for the little thing convulsing out of the water.

“Poor little fishy! Put it quickly in the water!” You couldn’t help yourself and enveloped Five’s hand with the bag so the fish could be in his appropriate environment.

“It’s far from being a ‘poor little fishy’ you know? It planned for the apocalypse to happen and ordered hundreds of people’s death.” He said letting go of the fish’s tail.

You closed the bag so it wouldn’t escape and smiled sheepishly. “I guess I still can’t accept that a fish can talk. Or be at the head of an organization of killers.” You brought the bag at eye level to analyze the goldfish closer and sure enough, the fish was staring right at you. “I guess it does seem intelligent-” You paused as the fish nodded at your words. You controlled your surprise and smiled sweetly at him. “Can we name him sushi?”

The fish started to swim in circles, hitting the bag from time to time making you laugh at his apparent anger. A hand got a hold of the bag, taking the little burden out of your hands. At this moment you noticed that Five’s eyes were dull, their bright spark gone with every life he took. Worry etched your features, you reached for his empty hand and squeezed lightly hoping to give him some sort of comfort. He shot a small smile your way despite his eyes still being emotionless.

Your heart broke for him, all this time he was forced to kill against his will and it ate at his soul. Oh how you wished you had a special ability like him and had the capacity to remove all of the darkness hurting his mind. Without warning, Five pulled you to his chest and jumped to an alley. The unexpected spacial-travel made you dizzy for a few seconds. You had done it enough time before to be used to it and be spared of the once usual wave of nausea following a jump.

You knew that the Handler would come here sooner than later, so you engulfed your boyfriend in a hug regardless of the blood covering his clothes. Deposing a light kiss on his less stained cheek, you smiled lovingly at him.

“It’s almost over. Then we’ll be only the two of us.”

His forehead met yours and a sincere smile stretched his lips. “I can’t wait.”

#five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #tua s1 #tua s2 #the umbrella academy #number five #the boy #number five x reader #five hargreeves imagine #number five imagine

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witchbitchheadedtoaditch · 3 years

Text

Shadow Work Prompts

Objectively, I'm really bad at using shadow work prompts. I kind of hate them. That being said, I find I really get a lot of good introspection and such done when I respond to quotes or lyrics (likely because I'm a literature student), so I thought I'd share some of the ones I've got written down to work with!

From The Midnight Gospel

People really try to avoid the consideration that they're going to die and that people they love are going to die.

It opens your heart, it breaks your heart open. (Speaking about death)

Our hearts have been closed, because we've closed them. We've defended ourselves against pain. And this [death] opens them.

Opening your heart hurts.

If you inquire into the hurt, you know what you're experiencing is love.

[Death] is an incredible teacher.

The closer to physical death I get, the more real I get.

Love is supportive. It holds us. It has a quality of benevolence that we might have never noticed.

What is it that has the quality of benevolence? .... reality.

This experience of love energy is so powerful, that to combat against it, we build an entire life, an entire ego, to try not to feel it.

Ego death is a transfiguration.

Love isn't going anywhere.

The time of death is uncertain, but death is certain.

We suffer more if we resist the flow of the river.

There's no way to stop a heartbreak. How do you do that? You cry.

No matter where you go, things are always gonna be the same if you don't change.

Through love, all pain will turn to medicine.

From Steven Universe

Love takes time and love takes work.

If there's a chance I could make it better... shouldn't I try?

Are you insecure about your relationships and how you're perceived by other people?

Is it weird I'm getting numb to this?

If you're the one protecting me... then who's the one protecting you?

There are millions of possibilities for the future! But it's up to you to choose which becomes reality.

You are an experience. Make sure you're a good experience.

I never asked for it to be this way. I never asked to be made.

I am made of love, and it's stronger than you.

I struggle to stay strong because I know the impact I have on everyone.

Humans lead short, boring, insignificant lives, so we make up stories to feel like we're a part of something bigger.

Comedy is derived from fear.

You are going to be something extraordinary; you're going to be a human being.

Sylvia Plath Quotes

God, how I ricochet between certainties and doubts.

If you expect nothing from somebody you are never disappointed

I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.

Kiss me, and you will see how important I am.

Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.

The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence.

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery--air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, "This is what it is to be happy."

Let me live, love, and say it well in good sentences.

Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I cut you out because I couldn't stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren't having any of those.

Is there no way out of the mind?

I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.

I like people too much or not at all. I've got to go down deep, to fall into people, to really know them.

We should meet in another life, we should meet in air, me and you.

I talk to God but the sky is empty.

I must get my soul back from you; I am killing my flesh without it.

I felt very still and empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo

How we need another soul to cling to.

I have never found anybody who could stand to accept the daily demonstrative love I feel in me, and give back as good as I give.

I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted to lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. How free it is, you have no idea how free.

What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.

Eternity bores me, I never wanted it.

I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me

How frail the human heart must be--a mirrored pool of thoughts

People or stars regard me sadly, I disappoint them.

Margaret Atwood Quotes

War is what happens when language fails.

Ignoring isn't the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.

Whatever is happening to me is my own fault. I have done something wrong, something so huge I can't even see it, something that's drowning me. I am inadequate and stupid, without worth.

Better never means better for everyone... it always means worse, for some.

You are your own voyeur

I read for pleasure and that is the moment I learn the most.

A rat in a maze is free to go anywhere, as long as it stays inside the maze.

You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.

A truth should exist, it should not be used like this. If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon?

If we were all on trial for our thoughts, we would all be hanged.

Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth.

The best way of keeping a secret is to pretend there isn't one.

I am not your justification for existence.

Hatred would have been easier. With hatred, I would have known what to do. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love.

But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling.

What am I living for and what I am dying for are the same question.

Sylvester McNutt III Quotes

The pain that came to you is not always a choice, but keeping it on you is. Stop the obsessive thinking related to it, and allow the pain to fade away.

The practice of staying present will heal you. Obsessing about how the future will turn out creates anxiety. Replaying broken scenarios from the past causes anger or sadness. Stay here, in the moment.

Remove yourself from people who treat you like your time doesn't matter, like your feelings are worthless, or like your soul is replaceable.

Everyone doesn't need access to you. Some people are draining and they don't even know it. You're allowed to say no, you're allowed to not answer calls, you're allowed to break plans, and if you need to save yourself do it.

Knowing me, I'll probably post more of this kind of stuff at some point :)

#shadow work #shadow work prompts #prompts #quotes

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ladyelain · 3 years

Text

I saw a Tik Tok the other day about Elain serving Slytherin energy & found it so interesting ...

And no, I’m NOT for that evil Elain theory (not all slytherins are monsters), really, so hear me out, I’ve made a list of arguments, lol:

Power & control

Slytherins obviously value power over everything. Elain isn’t making secret plans to become the next Amarantha but she’s definetely craving for always being in control of her own life & life choices! And as a human she knows exactly how to charm people to act in her favor / how to manipulate them (call it what you want). Becoming immortal & being mated with a stranger just seconds later is happening completely out of her hands. For the first time, she’s helpless, brutally forced to give up all control but not her will power. She’s choosing to NOT just take Lucien as the mate he’s been thrown onto her because it’s the very last act of power she can perform.

Cunning & smartness

Let’s look at her relationship with Feyre & Nesta. They’re literally all in the same boat, sharing the same bed, fighting over the same food / money / everything. Whilest Feyre & Nesta are about to rip each other apart at any moment, both driven by their pride & emotion & need to always prove their own right, Elain, somehow, has both of her sisters wrapped around her finger. She knows neither of them is gonna come at her like they do with each other. Slytherins are known to be cunning & I think Elain exactly knows what face to put on around which people.

Loyalty & tradition

Slytherins firmly hold onto their own beliefs & values. Taking Elain’s relationship with Graysen, she absolutely proves her loyalty to him even as nobody else around her does! She’s living with a bounch of Fae, has been turned a High Fae herself, while her fiancé’s father has made it his life obligation to eliminate her kind. She’s been bound to another male by the couldron for the rest of her eternal life. Graysen himself has clearly rejected her. Literally, all odds are against them. And still. Elain holds onto her engagement, her love, with everything she’s got, even when suffering from trauma & depression. (It’s very much that Bellatrix x Voldy Situation. Over years in Azkaban she never gives up on him.)

Family

When it all comes down, the Archeron sisters would go through hell for each other. Elain has her Narcissa Malfoy moment, when she stabs the King of Hybern. She’s willing to get her hands dirty at any point, if it’s about her family.

But even this is an act of choice! Remember that in Acotar she’s not much "better" than Nesta when it comes to providing for the family? Even when almost starving to death, she chooses to not go out & do something because she knows that after all, Feyre will have their backs. This is no hufflepuff energy ... (Side note to all of you who just don’t get her character.)

She knows where her strengths lie and chooses to focus on keeping the family together, take care of their home etc... (any Hufflepuff would have definelty come try to hunt with Feyre, just do anything to help her, regardless of how useless they might be...)

I think most of us would agree that there’s more to Elain than the pretty cover. I feel like most of her acting comes down to her need of preserving her freedom of choice, the "mask" she’s created for herself, her values & her own ego (she’s an Archeron after all).

As said, I’m strongly influenced by that one Tik Tok I saw (@kylosquash).

#not all slytherins are death eaters #said the girl still simping for Lucius Malfoy #it’s the NAME i swear #it’s the Luce for me #lucien #what am i doing w my life even #not me being proud of this table of content i’ve created #not even a table #elain archeron appreciation #acosf #elain archeron #acotar #elucien #i said it #ll #thoughts on elain

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6rookie-writer0110 · 4 years

Text

Montana

Red daughter/ Linda Lee x Male Reader x Kara Danvers

Request - May I request a fic where the Reader is an undercover agent with shapeshifting stealth powers (Like a flying Mystique). They infiltrate Lex Luthor’s Russian base and saves Red Daughter bringin her to the DEO. Kara and the Reader are best friends and they both have feelings for each other though neither have confessed. The reader and Kara both help teach RD, now going by Linda, how to control her powers and become a hero like them. Over time Linda realizes that she loves the reader and Kara. Since she can see Kara and the Reader’s love for each other and the looks that they both give her she gets Alex’s help to get the three of them together ending in a happy fluffy poly relationship between the three.

You used your power to shapeshift into someone else. You went undercover as a top soldier to get close to Lex. Everything that you did, Lex noticed and he made you his top soldier and he trusted you. Every time you're alone, you would send secret messages to Alex and Kara. You know Lex’s plan and you want to stop him, but lex surprised you with something else.

“This is my secret weapon. After she destroys supergirl, I will destroy her” Lex said to you.

“Why?” You asked.

“She is becoming like supergirl, starting to care about people. She is becoming useless” Lex said.

Lex used kryptonite on Red Daughter, she starts to feel weak. She looks at you, her eyes become watery.

You couldn't wait for Alex and Kara to arrive.

“I won't let you do that, Lex,” You said.

He laughed “you can't stop me”

You transform back to yourself. You punched him in the face then grabbed the kryptonite. In time Alex and Kara arrived, you gave the kryptonite to Alex. She got rid of it.

Lex started to run away, you went pick up Red Daughter. Alex and Kara started to chase after Lex. Red Daugther passed out and you used flight to escape with her.

----

At the DEO, you helped Alex to heal Red Daughter. It will take a while for her to wake up. All-day, you have been busy at the DEO helping Alex and J'onn. Kara has been busy saving people and her job at L-Corp. Alex does know you are in love with Kara but never said anything. Alex always tries to encourage you to tell Kara, but you chicken out.

Kara has been your best friend for years. When you first moved to Prime Earth, she was the first person you met. You used to live on Earth- 11, (The genderswapped iterations of all DC)

You are the male version of Mystique, you have blue skin, you have flight and yellow eyes. But you have an alter ego because of Kara and Alex.

Tonight Kara has a date that you're not happy about. You want to tell her that you are in love with her but you can't do it. You keep thinking what if.

Kara is at her loft sitting on the couch, she is feeling sad. She is staring at a picture of you and her wearing Halloween costumes. You had on a Jack Sparrow costume and she had on a pirate costume also. She has feelings for you but never said anything because she couldn't find the right moment.

Before you leave the DEO, Alex stopped you.

“What?” You said.

“This your chance to tell Kara you like her. She at home alone, go tell her now” Alex said.

“I don't know, Alex,” You said.

“Ugh!” Alex said.

She punched your arm hard.

You start to rub your arm “what the hell, Alex!?”

“You idiot. Just tell her! You and Kara are too blind to see that you two are in love with each other” Alex said.

“Wait, she is in love with me?” You asked.

“Yes, she is in love with you. Don't tell her I told you” Alex said.

“I won't I promise” You smiled.

---

Before going to see Kara, you bought her favorite food. She is surprised to see you and she smiled.

“I thought you were on your date,” you said.

She sighed “he canceled the date”

“Kara, I'm in love with you. You're everything that I want in a person. I love your smile, your eyes and I can go on forever why I'm in love with you” You said nervously.

She smiled “y/n, I feel the same way. I like you a lot. I always wanted to tell you, but things happened. You make me smile, laugh and I can be myself with you. I want I kiss you”

“I want to kiss you too. And I got potstickers” You smiled.

“You're officially my boyfriend” Kara giggled.

“Yes!” you cheerfully said.

Kara gave you a peck on the lips. You and Kara sit on the couch and start to potstickers.

✬ ✯ ✫ ✯

At the DEO, Red Daughter and she did wake up. You and Kara did explain to her what is going on.

“Do you have powers?” Red Daughter asked.

“Yes, I can change into someone else,” You said.

You shapeshift to Kara and Red Daughter’s eye opened wide. You changed into Alex and she walked in.

“Hi, Alex!” You said.

“Y/N, why did you transform into me?” Alex asked.

“Just showing, Red Daugther what I can do,” You said.

Next, you showed her your blue skin and yellow eyes.

“This is me. Because of Kara and Alex, I made an alter ego and I like living here” You said then transform into yourself

“We should give her a name. We can't call her Red Daughter in public” Kara said.

“New name?” Red Daugther said.

You and Kara nod.

“Yeah, you will need a new name. You will like living here, I promise” You smiled.

-----

You and Kara come up with a name for Red Daugther, now she will be called Linda Lee. She does like the name and she smiled, next, you and Kara teach her how to control her powers. Then Kara explained why she has to hide her powers. Linda has started to notice, you and Kara being affectionate with each other. Linda wants to experience that, she also saw you and Kara kiss each other.

“Alex, what is love?” Linda asked.

Alex started to think about how to answer the question.

“Love is something you feel and makes you feel nervous and happy. Do you get it?” Alex said.

“No,” Linda said.

“One day, you will feel what is like you to be in love. You can't force anyone to be in love it won't be genuine” Alex said.

Linda just stares at Alex and Alex smiled.

----

You and Kara helped Linda pick out clothes to wear. You and Kara explore the city with Linda to show how people live. Linda loved trying the food, she couldn't get enough. She loved more the milkshakes and she has the same appetite as Kara.

While walking around Linda would see some people holding hands.

“Y/N, why people home hands?” Linda asked.

“Some people like to hold hands and it feels nice. It shows affection to someone else” You said.

“Can we hold hands?” Linda asked.

“Of course,” You said.

You grab her hand. She felt nervous but she liked it, she did smile and you smiled back. Linda grabbed Kara’s hand and smiled. Linda started to feel accepted and she couldn't stop smiling.

✬ ✯ ✫ ✯

Time went by, you and Kara continued to help Linda in any way. She would ask Alex questions about affection and love. Alex does know Linda would look at you and Kara.

When you buy flowers for Kara then you get one for Linda.

“Why did you get me flowers?” Linda asked.

“People give each other gifts for many reasons. Kara likes flowers so I thought you would like it too, if you don't like it then it's okay” You said.

Linda smelled the flowers and she smiled. Linda is falling for you fast, Linda told Kara about the flowers. Linda and Kara spend time alone, you went on a mission with Alex to help her.

----

You come back from a mission and you are in your blue skin. You are badly hurt and you're healing too slow. Alex did clean the wound and put a bandage on the wound. Alex left the room for a moment and Linda walked in.

“Are you okay, Y/n” Linda said.

You transformed into your human form.

“I’m fine. I'm healing slowly that's all” You said.

“I was worried about you, y/n,” Linda said.

Linda has watched romantic movies with Alex and Kara. You were going to say something but Linda kissed you. And you kissed her back.

“Wow... Linda-”

Alex walked in and Linda left. You're speechless about what just happened, you went to tell Kara about the kiss.

“She kissed me too,” Kara said.

“When?” You asked.

“We were training together and she kissed me. I was surprised and I didn't know what to say” Kara said.

“I didn't know what to say either. I do have feelings for her, but I still want to be with you” You said.

“I feel the same, y/n,” Kara said.

Kara checks your wound and you are still healing.

✬ ✯ ✫ ✯

Alex can tell that Linda has feelings for you and Kara. Linda does talk about you and Kara to Alex, she finds it cute.

“Linda do you like Kara and y/n?” Alex asked.

“Yes. But they are together and I can't be with them” Linda said sadly.

“I will explain what polyamorous means. In a polyamorous relationship, three or more people can be together in a relationship” Alex said.

Linda is surprised that exists. Alex starts to get ideas on how to bring you three together.

----

Tonight, you and Kara met Linda and Alex at a restaurant. Everyone knows the restaurant is best known for the best romantic place to eat.

“Why are we here?” You asked.

“I thought we figured we can eat here,” Alex said and smiled.

“This restaurant is for couples,” Kara said.

Alex’s phone rang and she got a notification and she lied.

“Sam, need me so I have to go. She really needs me. Have fun on the date!” Alex said and walked away fast.

“Did she say date?” You asked.

“What is a date?” Linda asked.

You and Kara look at each other.

“Linda, this will be your first date with us. A date is something couples do often, they go out to eat and do other stuff” Kara said.

“This is a date?” Linda asked.

“Yes, our first date with you,” You said.

“What he said,” Kara said and smiled.

Linda couldn't help to smile.

----

Since the first date, you and Kara made it official to be with, Linda. Everyone feels the same having feelings for each other. It's summertime, you and Kara are taking Linda to the beach, it's her first time. It's a date.

The water is cold, Linda didn't go in the water. Kara did and she starts to feel relaxed.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

“I have never been to the beach. I only saw it in pictures” Linda said.

“You will have fun. Let's go in the water” You said.

Linda followed you into the water. She is starting to have fun. Kara teaches you and Linda how to swim.

✬ ✯ ✫ ✯

Linda is officially living with you and Kara. At the DEO, Winn designed a new super suit for Linda. You like the new suit on her and Linda can't stop smiling about it. We can't stop looking at the suit.

You and Linda go with Kara to save people in the city. Alex is happy that you and Kara are dating Linda.

It's movie night and Linda is sitting in the middle on the couch. She loves to eat popcorn and loves to cuddle with you and Kara.

#supergirl x male reader #supergirl imagine #kara danvers x male reader #kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagine #red daughter #Red Daughter imagine

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127-mile · 4 years

Text

Une seconde avant noël.

Pairing: Lee Ten x reader.

Genre: Christmas, exes, fake dating, feelings realization / Fluff, angst.

Warnings: Vulgar language, alcohol consumption.

Word count: +5.2k.

Prompt chosen: It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.

Plot: What an idea to break up before Christmas, Ten thinks, as he announces to his mother that yes, you will indeed be present at the annual party organized for Christmas Eve.

A/N: This is part of the Walking in a winter wonderland collab hosted by @suh-insane and @neocitybynight.

"Do you always have to be in my way? Fuck Ten, be careful where you are going!" you growl, looking at the content of the box strewn on the floor. You have a ton of work to finish if you want to have a meal break, and Ten really is not making it easy for you. "You piss me off." you mumble as you kneel to retrieve the glitter bloxes, and sigh in exasperation when you notice of them opened. You'll find glitter everywhere for a month at this point. Who is stupid enough to think of glitter as a passable Christmas present for a child, you think, rolling your eyes.

"Can't you be polite? We have customers, damn it!" you turn your face to Ten who looks at you as if you caused the accident yourself when this idiot was hunched over his phone at the time of the impact. "And you, can't you at least pretend to work instead of checking how many sluts you'll be able to bring in your dingy apartment this weekend?" you stuff the glitters into the box while huffing, you can't take any more. If you didn't need the money so much, you would quit your job this instant.

Ten's chuckle is enough to make you angry once again. You can not stand hearing him and his stupid laugh anymore, and if you looked up at him, you would see his annoying little smile. "Are you jealous?" he asks, and you bite your lip so as not to laugh. They are causing enough commotion in the middle of the store, you do not need your boss to come and see what's going on. "Jealous? But why would I be jealous, Ten. You really need to take the time to think and calm your fucking ego, it's not good for you."

"I'm not saying you are jealous, I'm just saying that worrying about who I can bring back to my apartment is suspicious." you look at him, shaking your head. God damn his face would be beautiful with your fist pressed against. "You're so full of yourself Ten. I don't care what garbage you take home, all I want is for you to get down to work, before if you haven't noticed yet, it is almost Christmas and the store is full of customers."

"Garbage?" he asks, tilting his head, and you turn on your heels. "As far as I know, I took you back to my apartment at one point." it is too much for you. You leave the arts and crafts section, and you put the box at the feet of one of your colleagues who looks at you, incredulous. "I'm going to be sick, can you take care of it." you are not sick, but if you stay with Ten for a minute longer, you will eventually be.

You ignore a client who ask you about an interactive teddy bear they sac on TV, and you know it's wrong, but you have no choice, or you'll end up spitting your venom on a poor innocent person who wants nothing more than to please someone for Christmas. You push the door to the break room, and you walk to the bathroom. As you thought, it's empty. The boss doesn't allow anyone to go while they are working.

You push the door open, and you sit on the closed toilet. It is not the cleanest place, but it is the only place where you'll have time to think, and where you can calm your sudden urges for murder. It's sad to see where the relationship between you and Ten is. It was not always like that. There was a time when you weren't insulting each other at any opportunity, when you could smile at each other without wanting to throw up. There was a time when you were in love, and convinced that you would spend the rest of your life together.

You tense when you hear the door open, and you remain silent, pressing your hand against your mouth, as if it would help you go unnoticed when your feet are visible under the door gap. "Y/n?" of course, there is only Ten to follow you to the toilet. He approaches the door and you see by his movements that he sits on the floor. You grimace, because you do not know how long the cleaning person has stopped washing the once white tiles.

"Ten, it's disgusting on the floor." you mumble, and hear him sigh. "What do you want? What's important enough for you to follow me into the bathroom?" you ask in a voice barely above a whisper. "I am sorry." he says, and you shake your head. This is not the first time you've found yourselves apologizing to each other after a little quarrel in the middle of the store, and you know it won't be the last time either.

"We only have one week left before Christmas, after that we won't have to see each other as much anymore. Can't we make an effort to ignore each other?" your voice is so weak, Ten feels his heart skip a beat. He never wanted the situation between the two of you to become so chaotic. He wanted nothing more than to be happy. Be happy with you.

"But- but I don't want to ignore you." Ten answers, and you get up to open the door. The boy almost rocks forward, since his forehead was pressed against the door. "Ten, you need to learn about the existence of germs on the bathrooms." he smiles weakly, and he stands up too, dusting his uniform pants. "What do you propose?" you ask, cocking your head.

"We're burying the hatchet." Ten crosses his arms against his chest, and you sigh. "Ten, we've already tried dozens of times since we broke up, and it always comes back to the same scenario. It's useless."

For the first time since they broke up, you do not pull back when he puts his hand on your arm. "But we can try. For real this time. We were friends before we were a couple, maybe we can be again?" there is so much hope in his voice, and in his eyes, that you can't afford to deny him anything. "We can try." you finally say, and Ten's smile is so bright that you could almost be blinded.

"Perfect! So will you come with me to the party my parents are hosting for Christmas Eve?" he asks, and this time, you pull back at his touch, and you clench your fist to punch him in the shoulder. He whines loudly and you refrain from not doing it again. "You asshole! Why are you doing this to me?" Every year, the Lee family host a Christmas Eve party. It's always lavish, with beautiful decorations, and exquisite food. You loved spending Christmas Eve with Ten's family. So reminding you that you will not be attending this year hurts.

"But I'm serious!" he explains by rubbing his shoulder. He takes a step back to make sure he doesn't get another hit, he knows you all too well. "You are invited." you frown as you dig your hands into the pockets of your pants. "We are not together anymore, why would you parents invite me?" for a moment Ten looks embarrassed, and he is unable to meet your gaze. "Ten, what are you hiding from me?" he hops from one foot to the other, and you are ready to ask him if he feels like pissing when he opens his mouth to explain. "It may well be that I didn't tell my parents we broke up."

"But why Ten? You told me you did! It's been months now." the fact that he is embarrassed is at least a good thing, he is still human. "I was going to do it, I promise, but my mom started talking about the party, and hse said she missed you and really can't wait to see you. You know how much my mom adores you, I didn't want to break her heart!"

It's really mean to include his mother and her love for you in the story, because he knows you considered Ten's mother like your own when you first met her. "I'll tell them everything after the holidays, I promise! If you come, I'll never ask you anything again, and I'll disappear if that's what you want."

"I hate you, Ten." even though it's a phrase he doesn't like to hear, he knows you do not mean it. At least that's what he hopes, because he doesn't know what he would do if you really hated him. "So?" he asks in a whisper, and you roll your eyes. "I'll come, but this will be the last time I do anything for you. Anything, do you hear me?"

He nods, and he smiles once more. "Good, very good! We'll take my car, and I won't carge you for your share of the gasoline, don't worry." he is so excited that you start to feel the excitement too, but you do not show him, no. You walk to the bathroom door, it's time for you to get back to work, but before you leave, you turn to Ten. "I need my day tomorrow, so I'll let you tell the boss you're going to use your day off to replace me."

The following week is the calmest week you've had since breaking up with Ten. You meet in the store, but you ignore each other. Well, you ignore him every time he tries to talk to you, it's much better than insulting him until he resigns himself to being silent. And when Christmas Eve comes, you wonder if you really made the right decision by agreeing to follow Ten. And pretend to be his partner again.

You wait outside your apartment for Ten to arrive, your hands in the pockets of your coat, and your face niched in your scarf. The cold wind is whipping your face, and the snow have started to fall on the city which is festive with the fairy lights, the decorated trees in the streets, and the laughter of the locas who are eager to come home and celebrate Christmas Eve.

Thanks to Ten, you were able to get out of work early, and also, you won't be spending Christmas on your own. That's the only positive things you can find in this strange situation. Even your friends have told you to text Ten and cancel, they all think it's bad, and they think it will do them more harm than good. And you understand them, you too wonder what will happen after the party is over, once you have to go back to your routine without each other.

But that's life, and sometimes you have to make sacrifices to avoid hurting the people you love, you think with a sigh.

When you feel ready to freeze in place, Ten's car pulls up in front of you, and you huff. Finally. He gets out of the car, and he opens the door. Seeing him do that make you roll your eyes. "I can open a door." you mumble, and when he lifts his big shining eyes, you sigh. "You'll catch a cold, Tennie." he shakes his head, and you get in the car.

You feel a weight being lifted from your shoulder as your warm up, and Ten watches you, smiling when you take off your gloves. "You want a photo, it'll last longer." you say, and he shrugs. "I'm just glad to see you." yeah, you don't believe that lie, he must already be playing his part not to be caught off guard in front of his parents.

Ten starts the engine, and begins to drive out of town. "I had my mom on the phone earlier, she is excited to see you, and so is my dad." you hum. "Me too, I really missed them." Ten's lower lip juts out, and you avoid looking at him, he knows you are weak when he acts like that. But not tonight, no. "Ten, don't forget your promise. We can't do this at every family reunion, you know that, it'll only hurt more every time.

"Yes I know, and I will, I promised, didn't I?" you nod, and you turn your head towards the window. You watch the landscape gently getting cover by a thin layer of white snow as you approach the countryside. You love the city, yes, but you would love to be able to land in the countryside, and have a simple life, far from the hustle and bustle of the city.

The rest of the road is silent, and you slowly fall asleep, you head against the window, rocked by the vibrations. It's Ten's hand on your shoulder that wakes you up. He is out in the car, and you notice that it is now dark outside. You stand up, yawning. "We're here." he says. The Lee family house is impressive, and decorated with lights. It is really beautiful, and you expected no less from Mrs. Lee whose favorite holiday is Christmas.

You get your bag and get out of the car. Your legs are numb, so you take Ten's arm to avoid tripping in the snow. Yeah, that would be fun, but you do not really want to soil your clothes now. Maybe later. You stop in front of the door, and Ten turns to you. "Ready?" and when you nod, he knocks on the door.

It only takes a minute for the door to open on Ten's mother. She looks at the both of you, and she smiles with a sweetness all her own. "My loves, how happy I am to see you! Come in or you'll get sick." Ten lets you pass, and when you enter, you are immediately engulfed in a hug. You melt, you can't help it. You feel like coming home, and god damn your heart hurt at the realization.

Ten clears his throat, and you refrain from laughing. When Mrs. Lee lets you take a step back, you both turn to the boy who frowns. "Impatient." his mother says before taking him in her arms in turn, for a shorter moment. You are pretty proud of it. "Come into the living room, the guests have already arrived."

You follow her into the living room, and you greet the guests. You and Ten have been together for a few years, so you know all of the family and friends who are used to being invited every year. "Ah, the lovers have arrived!" his father says, and you nod. You put the gifts you brought in your bag at the foot of the three, and you smile. You had a great time looking for the perfect gifts.

Immediately, you are taken aside by Ten's sister who is surprised to see you here. She is the only one in this room, besides Ten himself, who knows about your situation. Because yes, maybe you were drunk one night and called her, crying to complain about the ordeal your life had been like since breaking up with Ten. Tern is younger, but she is quite scary, so you hardly swallow your saliva when she comes face to face with you.

"What is this mess?" she asks in a whisper. "Did you get back together?" you worry your lower lip, giving Ten a furtive glance, he seems to be in the middle of a heated discussion with his father, and you shake your head. "Ten didn't say anything to your parents, so he asked me to come over, so as not to break the holiday spirit." you mumble, and if the Lee family was not there, you know Tern would go and slap her brother right away.

"You both are idiots." Tern says, and you shoulders slup. "Are you masochistic or what? Do you like hurting yourself?" you do not know what to say, you are just here to help Ten. "I know it's not the right thing to do, but it's Christmas Eve, so I'm going to pretend it's okay, smile, laugh, and be happy beofre I go back everyday life without Ten."

Tern sighs, tilting her head. "Is that what you want?" she asks before resuming. "Go back to a life without Ten? Because a person who has no more feelings would never agree to help their ex." That's the question, you don't know how you feel, your head is empty and your heart is a mess, it's been like this since Ten left. So you shrug. "I don't know Tern."

As you are about to speak, you are called out by Ten's mother who beckons you to approach. "Come help me in the kitchen for a minute, please." you nod, apologizing to Tern before joining her. There's nothing more to do, so you frown. "It's the only way to have some time with you without Ten jumping on you." she explains, and you can't help but laugh. "He learned to behave in public, don't worry."

"Is everything okay?" Ten's mother asks, and you nod. She looks worried, and for a second, you feel ready to tell her everything, but you can't, you promised Ten, and as he said himself, he doesn't want to hurt her, and neither do you. Not tonight anyway. "I'm asking because it's been a while since we've last seen you."

You nod. It's true that before, you used to visit the Lee family a couple of times each month, even though Ten was busy at work, and even more during the month of December, used to help Mrs. Lee prepare Christmas Eve. But being convinced that Ten had warned his parents, you did not do it anymore, you found it inappropriate.

"I was overwhelmed with work, I'm so sorry. But it's true that I should at least give given you a call." you explain in a weak voice, and the older woman shakes her head, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You have a job, you have a life, you have you own family, so you don't have to apologize for not having time. I get it, I was your age once."

You blame yourself more and more for the pain you are going to cause her, but you bite the inside of your cheek. Sometimes things don't go as planned, and you have to adapt. "And with Ten, is everything going well?" the question you would have liked to avoid. But you smile. "Everything is not perfect every day, but we both make an effort, because our relationship deserves it." Ten's mother smiles, she is proud to hear that her son has matured enough to do whatever it takes to keep his relationship healthy, and going.

"Don't hesitate to tell me if he crosses the line, then I'll give him a piece of my mind, believe me!" you laugh softly. You know that Mrs. Lee is, and will always be, there to help you. At least for now. But you need to stop thinking about the future, and focus on the present. You need to enjoy this last night you have with your surrogate family. "Thank you Ms. Lee, I appreciate that."

When she offers to return to the living room so as not to worry the guests, you follow her. Ten is still talking with his father, but the conversation seems to have calmed down, and you are happy. You know that the two men are used to arguing, and you have witnessed some rather disturbing scenes already, and you do not want that to happen again. You do not want to have to pick up Ten again.

"Everything okay?" you jump when Ten comes up behind you, and you turn to him. His cheeks are flushed, and you pursue your lips to stifle a laugh. "Don't tell me, your grandmother's friend?" he shakes his head with a poud, he doesn't like it when old little ladies pull his cheeks, it hurts. "My poor child. Maybe she'll stop someday."

"When she is in a coffin, yeah." Ten mumbles, and you put your hand over your mouth. "Don't say such things, Tennie!" you giggle and he smiles. He likes to be the reason for your laughter. "But to answer your question, yes, everything is fine. Your sister was a little surprised to see me here, but outside of that, like clockwork!"

Ten nods, and takes a sip from his glass of wine. He looks around him. The three, the decorations, his family, their friends, and you, and for a minute, he completely forgets that things are not the same as last year. Nothing is as before, everything is only an act. And when he turns his head towards you, and sees the lights of the tree reflected in your eyes, he thinks to himself that maybe, it was not a good idea.

See, you and Ten had a long relationship. You are his first love, and he always hoped that you would be his last. And to be honest, he still hopes so. But he knows that despite everything that has happened, all the insults you have exchanged, it would take very little time for him to fall in love again. No, he wouldn't need time at all, he is still in love, he always will be, he knows it deep down inside of him. And seeing you here, acting as your girlfriend, knowing that you'll probably never will be again, hurts like a bitch.

You think the same, and it hurts you too, but you both have too much pride to say it.

You then meet around the table, enjoying a fabulous feast prepared by Mrs. Lee. That's what you'll missed the most, the food. Ten is next to you, and every now and then, he leans in to whisper a joke in your ear. It's a tradition that you have, you try to make the other laugh, and get all eyes on yourself, knowing that it will be too inappropriate for you to say the joke out loud. At least some things are not changing.

You honestly can't remember the last time you had such a good time with Ten without it ending in an argument. What you do not notice is Tern's gaze. She watches you both, frowning. She can read between the lines. She knows that you still love each other, but are also too stupid to admit it.

The meal stretches over two hours, and when you finish, a full stomach, and ready to explode, it's time to open the presents. You get up from your chair and collect the packages. You give one to Ten's parents, one to Tern, and the last one, you hand it to Ten who titls his head. "You didn't have to, you know." he says in a whisper, and you shrug. "I know, but I got it before.. well before you know what."

Ten also gives you a present, and you arch an eyebrow at him. "I didn't want to see you pout thinking I forgot about you." he mumbles, and you smile. You open the present, and sigh. Inside is your favorite book, but not just any, the very first edition. It's old, rare, and probably extremely expensive. "Ten.." you whisper, and the boy smiles. "I know you've always dreamed of it."

What makes your heart beat a little faster is not that he gave you the book, but that he remembered it, because you only mentioned it once almost two years ago. Perhaps accusing him of never paying attention was wrong, now that you think about it. "Thank you so much Ten, you have no idea how happy this makes me." you lean over, and place a tender kiss on his cheek. And when you take a step back, you notice the rosy tint on Ten's cheeks. Cute.

"Come on, open yours!" Ten nods a minute later, the poor man needs to recover from the sudden physical contact first, then, he unwraps his present. If there is ont think Ten loves more than himself, and you, it's his watch. His father gave him his own watch for his 18th birthday, and it quickly became his most precious item, and unfortunately, he broke it a few months ago.

He thought it was irreparable, but nothing is ever irreparable, so you grabbed it one morning, and sent it over to have it fixed. It's not much for you, but when you see the tears in Ten's eyes, you knows that it was a perfect idea. "I thought I lost it." he says under his breath, and you shake your head. "I took it from you, wanted to surprise you, but I didn't expect it to take that long. I'm really sorry if I worried you."

Ten shakes his head, and he wipes his tears with his free hand, before a smile spreads over his beautiful face. "This deserves a kiss!" Ten's mother exclaims, and you hear Tern sigh loudly. "Mom, don't embarrass them." you are grateful for Ten, but you have to do it. So once more you take a step forward, and you cup Ten's face, and your face meet in the middle for a long, and soft kiss. Yeah, maybe you wanted to kiss him too. And for a while now.

"How beautiful young love is!" one person comments, and you smile weakly. Ten does the same, and you help him put the watch around his wrist. "Thank you, thank you. I don't think I will ever have enough words to thank you. It's the most perfect present." he says in a long sigh, and you smile. "I knew how much you cared about this watch." you run your fingers through Ten's hair to pull it out of his face, and realize how easy it is for you to fall back on your old habits.

The rest of the evening goes well.

You sit on the couch with Ten, and you listen to the stories the family members are telling, laughing every now and then, but you can't really focus with the heat radiating from Ten's body. Proximity in your hands. It would be so easy to take his hand, or rest your head on his shoulder.

Why the hell not, you think, it's Christmas, and you are supposed to be acting, so might as well make the most of it. You rest your head on Ten's shoulder, and if he is suprised, he doesn't show it, he lands a kiss on the top of your head. You feel his shoulders relax and you smile. You always have the same calming effect on each other. True love, but you refuse to think about it.

It's getting late, and you can't seem to suppress a long yawn, Ten notices. He stands up and you pout at the sudden lack of contact, and you sit up. "We're going to go mom, we still have a way to go, and it's snowing again." she nods, albeit a little sad, but she knows it would be too dangerous for Ten to drive if he is tired, of if there is too much snow.

"Thank you for coming, my loves, it made me very happy." once again, you find yourself engulfed in a long her that you give back with pleasure. And you thank her and Ten's father again and again for the invitation. And in a few minutes, you find yourself in front of the car. Tern follows closely behind you, and before Ten gets into the car, she puts her hand on his shoulder to take him aside. "Take care of yourself, and your heart, okay?"

Ten nods. "Don't worry, I know what to do to keep my heart safe." he looks at you to see if you heard him, but no, you are half asleep on the seat, and you would not even hear if a bomb were to explode near your ear. "Really, don't worry." he places a kiss on his sister's cheek, and he gets into the car after making sur the passenger door is closed. You collapsed into the seat, your new book clutched to your chest.

"It was a very good evening. You family is amazing." you say, and Ten can only agree. "You are right. Thank you for coming." you smile and lean your head against the window. You do not want to fall asleep, you want to enjoy your last moments with Ten, but unfortunately, fatigue quickly gets the better of you, and when you open your eyes, the car is already parked in front of your apartment complex.

"Thanks for taking me home, and thanks again for the book." you lean in to kiss the corner of his lips, but before Ten can say anything, you get out of the car. He opens the window, and you turns to him. "Have a good night, Ten." his fingers tighten around the steering wheel, and you see that he wants to say something, but he holds back. "Good night Y/n, and merry Christmas."

You walk towards the door that leads to the lobby, but the sound of the door opening and closing catches your attention. You turn around and find Ten in front of the car. You embrace your body with your arms to fight against the cold. "What are you doing, Ten?" you ask, and the boy finally approaches. He's so close you can feel his breath against your lips. "Would you like to go have coffee tomorrow? And maybe we can go check out the Christmas lights."

You smile, and you nod. "I would love this, Ten." his smile is as bright as the moon, and you chuckle softly when he places a small kiss on your lips before heading back to his car, not without a victory move that almost makes him trip in the snow.

It’s Christmas Eve. It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.

And maybe sometimes, you can decide to stay that kind of people.

#cznnet #nct #wayv #nct imagines #wayv imagines #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios

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