#ellie calling him stinky

[diorstarr]

OK BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE ENDING OF THAT EPISODE???????

[yournightmary]

Loser!Ellie HCs

content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU

AN:: first time writing, literally scared shitless🔥 english isn’t my native language🙏

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who made a pasta recipe once (probably from instagram reels), and became a self-appointed master chef. Forgot about the fact that it took her 3 tries to even cook the pasta.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who can’t stop saying flavor instead of scent. She just genuinely doesn’t see the difference.

“What flavor do you want?” she asks you while holding up two colorful packs of wax melts. She bought a wax burner and used it to melt chocolate so she can have chocolate covered fruit anytime she wants. Used it 2 times total.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who vapes. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. She just loves to puff on her cute little mixed berries disposable. Also, keeps saying she can quit anytime she wants, she can’t.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who uses axe body spray. If someone asks about it she just says it works better, but she actually likes the scent. Kind of her guilty pleasure.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who hated on the sims franchise her whole life only to find out you’re a fan. She pirated the whole series (DLCs and all) off of some russian website in one night. Got like 20 different viruses but at least her girl could play the sims 2 happily.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is terrible at foreign languages yet has a duolingo streak that over 500 days. She knows how to say ‘the apple is red’ in german and can barely pronounce her order in mexican restaurants.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is chronically online. Constantly posting shit to her insta stories, sending you tik toks 24/7 and all that stuff. One time she got so invested in a facebook group drama that she didn’t reply to your texts for the whole day.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who wears the most unfunny-funny shirts you can imagine. Stuff like ‘women want me, fish fear me’ and ‘eat, sleep, game, repeat’. And they’re always either way too big or way too small.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who always said she doesn’t want any pets, that it’s too much of a commitment for her… Then she found the ugliest kitten she’s ever seen on the street and took it home without thinking. Let you choose the name but calls him ‘stinky’ no matter what. Like mother, like daughter.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who couldn’t tie her shoes until she was 15. That’s it.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is so lovestruck for you that I can’t even explain it. She’ll always do the cheesiest things possible, like standing before your house with roses, a bluetooth speaker and a promposal poster or bringing you every little thing she found on her walk that ‘reminded her of you’.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who doesn’t like to go out on dates. She’d rather stay at home with you, watch a movie, make dinner together (you’ll be the only one actually cooking), maybe paint something or just spend time together doing nothing… Would really enjoy a date at the planetarium though.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is a total yapper. Can and will talk about anything and everything for hours on end. And if you mention an interest of hers? Oh god, get ready to see a powerpoint presentation about it. Literally the definition of ‘☝️🤓’ but in a good way.

I’m so scared to post this it’s not even funny☠️ Hope you liked it <3

[phonkscribes]

Hi! Would you be interested in writing dating headcanons about the L4D2 survivors? Thanks in advance<3 (P.S. I love your work)

Left 4 Dead 2 Survivor dating head-canons!

Hello anon, and I'd be delighted to and thank you for enjoying the work I put out! I don't have a clever quip to throw in this time so without further a-do, here are your head canons.

Nick

He's an asshole to everyone, but he's soft when it comes to you. Especially if you don't pick up on sarcasm like everyone else.

He'd never try to yell or raise his voice at you like he would with others too. Nick is patient and holds up on you when you start to lag behind

It's a surprising display of intimacy that has the others making eyes at him and looking smug. 'Didn't think you had it in ya, Nick'.

He smiles a little more, and tries to be romantic in spite of the setting.

It's the little things that make the world go 'round, and he's got a knack for doing them for you, intentionally or not.

Needed pills for something? He's got you covered, even if he thought he needed them more.

Instead of giving you your share of compliments and nick names, he'd point out your habits and say that they're cute and call you other names: 'I think it's really cute how you play with your hair when thinking about something' / 'Alright let's get out of here stinky'

Ellis

He is the sweetest guy.

He loves telling stories to you, and he always plays them up to try and make you laugh.

Ellis will take you sight seeing around Savannah, or try and take you out to a fancy date he's prepared(beer on the roof top)

He likes to show you off or brag that he has you as his S/O.

"Damn I'm so lucky to have you, y'know"

He will get sad if he's separated from you for too long, and hope that you're okay whenever you two get separated from each other for whatever reason.

He's a hugger, and will often reach his arms around to hug you from behind whenever he has the chance.

Says "I love you" a lot. Do not fight him on this because he'll just keep saying he loves you more or hit you with a "nuh-uh"

Nick gets tired of this whenever it happens.

Rochelle

She's the boss when it comes down to it, stubborn as a mule but if you're really against something she'll hear you out on it.

If Nick says some shit to you, she'll whip something witty right back at him that makes him either scoff or shuts him right up.

Rochelle beams at you whenever you save her from one of the special infected, hyping you up with that gorgeous smile of hers.

"Yep, that's mine right there", as you help her up.

She likes to bring you little gifts here and there, especially when you need them without ever asking for them out loud.

"Here, I thought you might need this", and she presses it into your hands with a small smile as she looks up into your eyes

She is likes to hold your hand as you two travel, or have your pinkies intertwined when you need to break away for a fight

She likes to press her back against yours, feeling safe that you've got hers when it comes down to it.

Rochelle thinks you're a lot cooler than you may let yourself believe

Coach

He's right behind you every step of the way, and will lift you up anyway he can. Except for literally, he might hurt his back if he tries to do that.

The two of you eat good, even for the apocalypse, he won't let you eat nothing trashy but also nothing that will put either one of you in a theoretical ER.

Will pull you off to the side if he sees that you're feeling down or are bummed out about something.

He's real good at talking with you about things

Absolutely loves giving you little kisses on the top of your head or your hands, anywhere he can really

His love language is words of affirmation(I am so sure on this)

Likes to praise you, congratulating you on good shots and a bit more lenient with you when you make bad ones.

Coach is endearing though, never the "ooh now personally I wouldn't have done that" kinda comments.

He likes to guide your hands when he steps behind you, "try it like this"

He likes to hold you close in his arms, and letting you listen to his heart as you two rest up.

"Everything's gon' be alright baby, I've got ya"

[crematedcow]

lol how would elli react to being called a stinky boy?

"What did you just call me?" Elli inquired, his voice tinged with irritation. The black void where his face should be seemed to gaze at you, and you suddenly understood how one could feel someone's gaze without actually seeing it. However, you didn't hesitate to repeat yourself. "Stinky boy," you confidently said. There was a brief moment of silence between the two of you, during which you managed to form a small, mischievous smile. That seems to have pulled Elli out of his momentary silence. "Are you actually out of your mind?!" Elli exclaims, his voice growing louder. You notice his armor shaking slightly, the sound of metal rattling against itself accompanying his raised voice. With an irate gesture down his body, Elli's temper sparked. "This armor is much cleaner than you could ever wish to be, Hunter!" It seems he was turning the tables on you (very rude, if you were honest), but you couldn't resist the urge to retort, "Hard to believe when you never shower or bathe." At this point, you were just trying to get under his skin, and it works like a charm. His armored hands clench into fists in response. Elli let out an incredulous "huh!", clearly provoked by your comment. "I don't need to waste any water when all I have to do is polish the metal and occasionally wax it! Do you have any idea how much time I put into caring for this armor?! Clearly you don't!" He continues to berate you and explain his meticulous cleaning process in agonizing detail, from the type of cloths he uses to his inclusion of jasmine oil in the wax. However, you didn't really care. So you say it again. "Stinky. Doesn't bathe or shower." With that parting shot, you left the room, leaving the frustrated man in metal behind as you could still hear him yelling profanities after you. --- Chulainn enters the room where you were staying, holding a loaf of bread that they were eating from, but their face bore a disturbed expression. "What the hell did you say to Elli?" they ask, their grip on the bread looking almost painful. You shrug your shoulders, as you hadn't spoken to him for hours. "Why do you ask?" you inquire of your patron. The look they shoot you suggests that they didn't believe your obliviousness at all, but they chose not to comment on it. "Because that idiot of a knight keeps walking around the inn asking everyone if they smell bad. I really don't want to take a sniff of his armor while I'm trying to fucking eat." Oh. Elli really took your comment to heart, huh?

:)

[jomiddlemarch]

Good French cooking cannot be produced by a zombie cook

“You’re gross,” Ellie said. She grimaced, but in less disgust than Grace would have anticipated. Yeah, because you’re such an expert on teenagers, dead-Lauren muttered, so Grace took another bite from the dish in front of her in defiance, which would require a trained analyst to unpack. Those were short of the ground these days. “Don’t be gross.”

Joel took an even larger bite than Grace had and chewed dramatically, in some show of adult solidarity that Grace appreciated, though she thought it was unlikely to be helpful.

“I didn’t mean manners, God,” Ellie said, slumping in her seat. “I don’t care how you eat, how loud you are—”

“Really?” Grace asked. She was supposed to be out last night, Ellie was, for at least a few hours, time they’d decided to make the most of, Grace laughing at Joel’s urgent intensity until he started muttering I wanna hear you come, Gracie, c’mon darlin’ in the most erotic mixture of coaxing and command she’d never heard before and she’d startled herself with the volume and pitch of her moaning while he did impossible things with his hands and his dick until they’d both frozen when Ellie called out “Hi, Joel, I forgot, oh crap—yeah, um, I’m sleeping over Araceli’s, bye!” They’d taken turns trying to convince each other that she hadn’t heard anything, not Grace calling out Joel’s name, not Joel cursing and grunting, not the totally clichéd headboard thumping against the bedroom wall. They’d ultimately each said they were sure she hadn’t heard anything without believing it and then had a quieter, lingering second round that ended with Joel licking away the tears on Grace’s temples after she’d reassured him he hadn’t hurt her.

“This isn’t about last night,” Ellie said. “That was my bad. I should have knocked louder. Not forgotten my fleece. Skipped the toothbrush. Gone deaf,” She was enjoying herself, Grace could tell, with each additional phrase, a notable increase in the impish gleam in her eyes.

“We didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Grace said.

“Look, I’m not going to say I’m not scarred for life,” Ellie began, pausing when Grace frowned and Joel shot Ellie a particularly fierce glare, “because I’m not. It’s okay, you two have a thing and that’s cool beans—”

“That’s cool beans?” Joel repeated. Somehow that was what made him incredulous.

“Ted says it all the time, sorry,” Ellie replied.

“You don’t call him Coach Lasso?” Grace asked.

“He told us not to. He said we could call Coach Beard Coach Beard, because it helped center him in the role and also that calling him Beard was weird and weird and Beard rhyme and that set him, I mean, Ted, off for a while. He was teaching us stinky pinkies, you know what those are?” Ellie said. When she talked about Ted, Ellie sounded like a kid, the way Grace remembered kids sounding, or even like a kid raised in Jackson, instead of the worldly, cynical woman Grace had first met.

“Yeah,” Grace said, before Joel could ask for clarification. It would be enough that Ellie added stinky pinkies and whatever Lasso iteration there might be thereof to her daily puns and riddles.

“Ted said he liked being called Ted. That he was happy to coach us, but being called Coach was hard for him and he didn’t have to explain, we got it. People have stuff like that. It’s not like he has some horrible name like Malvolio or Murgatroyd or something,” Ellie said.

“Miz Connie picked Twelfth Night, I see,” Joel commented. “Smart.”

“I don’t care that you guys were having loud sex yesterday when I wasn’t supposed to be home,” Ellie said. “Like, bully for you. That’s not what I meant about being gross.”

“No?” Joel said. Grace was happy to cede the floor to him, relieved he wasn’t going to deny anything or sit there like a statue and let her fumble around like the roommate’s new girlfriend. Watching him be Ellie’s dad, which he’d admitted he’d avoided for as much of their trip West as he could, had been the reason she’d fallen in love with him or at least, had fallen so quickly; it was possible the undeniable attraction between them would have eventually turned into affection, but it was the way he looked at Ellie, the curve of his lips when he scolded her, the sight of his hand on her shoulder that Grace couldn’t resist. He spoke of Tess infrequently, usually with regret, and she thought of how long it would have taken for him to trust her the way he’d trusted Tess if he hadn’t become Ellie’s father first.

“Lies, that’s what’s gross,” Ellie said. There was a flicker in Joel’s eyes, the briefest tightening of his lips that Grace filed away, because she sure as hell wasn’t going to bring it up in front of Ellie, just what it was that Joel thought of when Ellie said lies. Grace allowed herself a flexible relationship with the truth and it was what had kept her alive since Kian was murdered, but she couldn’t guess what lies troubled Joel. Or rather who he’d lied to, not what he’d lied about.

“You think so?” Joel said. Grace wondered what part of the question he wanted Ellie to answer. She remembered a nameless senior resident, one she’d liked enough to recall the emotion instead of his name, telling her not to order tests if she wasn’t prepared to deal with the outcome…

“You shouldn’t lie to me,” Ellie clarified.

“When did I lie to you?” Joel asked.

It was the most foolish thing Grace had ever heard Joel say, but at least they were in the realm of the foolish, not the dangerous. It was highly unlikely that Ellie’s response would get anyone killed. Grace knew enough not to go any further than highly unlikely in her estimate.

“When you said my applesauce pudding was good,” Ellie said. “Ted said it was never-fail, but it’s terrible and you and Grace just ate it up like it wasn’t disgusting and soupy and half-burned.”

“I thought you were going for a crème brulée thing,” Joel said.

“I didn’t think it was soupy,” Grace offered. Lumpy, oddly crunchy in places, and sometimes almost al dente, yes. Soupy was one adjective that wouldn’t have sprung to mind.

“It was supposed to taste good. It tasted like garbage and I wasted all that applesauce and rice,” Ellie said.

“There was rice in there?” Grace said.

“There was applesauce?” Joel said.

“You suck,” Ellie said, without any real vitriol. Was there vitriol in the pudding? dead-Lauren asked and Grace had to make an effort not to nod. “Joel, you suck worse than Grace, because she actually couldn’t tell there was rice in it.”

“Thank you, I think?” Grace said.

“You’re welcome,” Ellie said and then smirked in what Grace recognized as her default comfort mode, the one that meant she felt safe and that she might say or do something real and you better watch out for it.

“It’s the thought that counts,” Joel said and something about the way he said it, the softness in his dark eyes, the briefest pause before he said counts, the space for a memory (of Sarah? Tess? Grace couldn’t help wondering), made it more than a cliché. Or proved why clichés had survived when so much else hadn’t.

“Now you sound like Ted,” Ellie said. “Without being funny.”

“I never bought it when women said all they wanted was for their boyfriend to have a good sense of humor,” Grace said. No one said anything like that now. Maybe she had to give the mushrooms a little credit. They’d destroyed Cosmo and every reality TV show and Bridezillas.

“It’s okay,” Joel said.

“I like you how you are,” Ellie said. It was probably as close as she’d come to saying she loved Joel and Grace knew Joel understood that as she had. “You too, Grace. You’re like, so not the worst. Even if you are way too worried about concussions. Ted doesn’t let us head the ball. You can chill already.”

Joel gave her a look, the look the dad gave to the mom, and so Grace did her best at what was extremely difficult and chilled.

Already.

She did not, however, help with the dishes.

[smutteo]

I straight up forgot that people here might not have the context of my ocs at all so for quick reference:

Matteo - He/Him (He/She but only for special occasions) (Genderfluid, Trans, Bisexual) Shapeshifting monster-guy detective. He's my favorite oc and is who I draw most often!

Ellis - He/Him (Cis, Bisexual) Werewolf monster-guy detective. Wifes oc and is paired w/ Matteo :3 romantically and also for work LMAO

Vance - He/They/It (Nonbinary, Transmasc, Bisexual) what if slender man was autistic and solved crimes? another fave oc but I dont draw him enough. Tentacles likely

Sylvia - He/She/They (Genderqueer, Bisexual) autistic shapeshifter 2.0 now with 100% more of a crush on Vance. Paired w/ Vance, Wifes OC!

Blake - He/Him (Cis/Complicated, Bisexual Polyromantic), Matteo's sort-of-estranged brother, Shapeshifter monster guy, recovering deadbeat. He looks stinky and has a split tongue and likes to fuck but also makes gatorade rice so its really your call on if he's allowed to be sexy or not.

Syrin - He/Him (Cis, Bisexual, Demi+Poly) Snake-man Ex-criminal turned good boy after dicking Blake down. So I guess maybe he is allowed to be sexy only a little. Wifes Oc! Melanie - She/Her (Maybe also He/Him, haven't decided) Snake-woman (literally) criminal related to Syrin. Has a grudge and a need to fuck women rivaled only by her ambitions LMAO. Plays with looking butch/femme and being gnc - hesitant to commit but has some kind of deep tether to Steevie she's unwilling to admit.

Steevie - She/He (Transfemme Lesbian) Werewolf PI that literally can't stop yearning/lusting after Melanie. Someone help her, her life is in shambles over her.

There's others I may draw off/on but those are what I can consider The Regulars !!!

[indecisive-dizzy]

I have more ideas because yes

Daisey still had three evil exes that consist of Holly and two other ocs of mine (Andreas and Kiko) but I think Howdy just scares the three of them

Holly is kind of a bully character at the start but she warms up to the other neighbors (mainly the girls, she hates men relatable)

Eddie and Howdy experimented with each other in high school, that’s how Howdy figured out he was bi (my hc ofc)

They didn’t work out romantically but they’re still super close

Daisey can carry Howdy. I just think that’s funny considering Howdy is almost twice their height

Howdy moved out of his parents’s house when he was barely 18 because his parents kept treating him like trash for not being as “accomplished” as his siblings. The only reason he still talks to them is for his siblings’s sake

Howdy stayed at Eddie’s place after he left home, he bunked in the guest bedroom and helped with chores around the house while he looked for a job to pay rent (it wasn’t required, but he still wanted to pay because they were super sweet to let him stay)

Howdy took care of Lizzy the most, even suggesting the nickname Lizzy to begin with. Everyone just called her Ellie before that and she hated that nickname. That’s why she stayed with him after the whole turning into a butterfly thing

Howdy drives Lizzy to school and embarrasses her like an dad plying loud music to annoy her when dropping her off at the school

Holly is an ice skater, she wins local competitions all the time. Wallace is a photographer, his portfolio is full of pictures of Holly performing. He just liked taking photos of his sister being happy

Daisey cries when wintertime comes around. They just can’t stand to see all the plants die because of the cold. They legit cry over every little flower they see dead and covered in snow on the ground. They get cuddles as a form of consolation

Frank knits in his spare time, he makes scarfs for all his neighbors

Sally and Holly are besties. Sassy besties/gfs maybe?? 💅

Wallace might or might not have a crush on Barnaby, Holly judges him immensely for it because she thinks Barnaby is stinky and weird and very annoying(she’s half true), but whatever makes her brother happy I suppose

Andreas and Howdy don’t get along. Andreas reminds Howdy of a very specific brother of his and he wants nothing to do with it

This is random but everyone does karaoke

Again, I put too many :,>

Also I’m just gonna put it here, if you have any ideas or questions or just anything you want to share with me, don’t be scared to send an ask! I like hearing other people’s ideas :D

Howdy scaring anyone is hilarious to me, with what? His insane scamming- I mean Business techniques?

Ah yes Eddie and Howdy having dated at some point is great. Howdy would rather it Not be mentioned I imagine while Eddie is just proud of himself for being Howdy's Bi Awakening pfff

And just everything about Howdy staying with Eddie's family, just,, yes. Love it

Howdy being the extremely embarrassing dad/older brother checks out lol

I feel like Holly would threaten someone with her skates,, and mean it. Sally is very impressed and encourages it haha

I also cry when my favorite tree loses it leaves/flowers so me too Daisey

Frank and Poppy get together to have tea, knit, and gossip. It's canon I was there I promise

Wallace go get your dog, don't let anyone stop you lol

hell yeah karaoke. Sally gets really into it. Frank and Julie are dueting. Wally is just reading the lyrics.

[ketchupcaptain]

Downhill (Harry AU Fanfiction) - Chapter Five: Confession (on Wattpad) 

Chapter Five is here!

I started walking towards the door and glanced over my shoulder to see the curly-headed boy staring straight into my eyes, silently calling for help.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

"He didn't do it," I whispered.

"Wot?" the guard was dumbfounded. "I stole the dress. I knew I would never save enough money, so I took it," I said, speaking up.

"Don't do this, Ellie, c'mon," Harry called from the bench.

"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and understand the punishments that accompany my stupid mistakes." The guard looked at both of us.

"Look, kids. I don't know who did what, nor do I care who did what. The dress got returned, didn't it? And the shopkeeper's not cross with any ove yous. So everyone just go home. Yeah? Go home."

All the other prisoners stood up with smiles on their faces.

"Not you blokes, just the curly-headed fellow and that annoying bird." The rest of the inmates sat back down, super disappointed.

Harry and I exchanged looks. He stood up and walked out the door without saying a word. I followed him out of the building.

"That's it? You're just gonna try and walk away like nothing happened?" I called after him.

"Yup." He responded, walking down the sidewalk.

"Yup? That's all I get? A yup? Really?" He stopped abruptly, and I would have run into him if I wasn't paying attention.

He spun around, "What do you want me to say, Ellie? That everything is all butterflies and rainbows, and we're all gonna live happily ever after... this isn't a fairytale, El."

Did he just call me El?

Since he had spun around so suddenly, my face was only inches away from his chest. Despite being inside that stinky holding cell, he smelled of vanilla, tobacco, and bergamot.

I'm 5'4, and he was towering over me. I looked up at him, meeting his eyes. His face was so chiseled. "I know," I whispered.

He looked at me for what seemed like forever and finally stepped back. "We should probably get you home now." He muttered under his breath.

All of a sudden, the sky turned a dark shade of gray. I tried calling Jason, but he didn't pick up. He was probably still mad.

Harry offered to take me home, but we had to walk all the way back to the marketplace where his car was parked, and that was about a 45-minute walk which was the last thing I wanted to do after all this bullshit.

I started feeling droplets of water hitting my shoulder. Shit. I looked up at the sky, and a huge water droplet hit me right in the cornea.

Harry thought this was quite amusing and chuckled a bit.

I playfully hit his arm, and he cheekily smiled down at me.

Thunder boomed behind us; lightning struck not too far away, and the rain picked up and encapsulated us in a wall of water.

I looked over at the drenched Harry beside me. His white teeshirt was soaked, and I could see his nipples through his shirt... wait... were there four of them?

AN: I'm so happy you all are enjoying the series. I'll be posting new chapters every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Let me know what you think in the comments :)))

[peachlolitasevillacourtstuff]

Cedrick's birthday, part 3

Attention the characters that appear and will be mentioned are not mine, they are ocs of @autumn2art , @xeo-kunsatan , @ghostbunnyarts , @mq5197 for your attention <3.

_____

In the Underworld, Betrayus patiently waited for Dr. Buttocks to finish the gift for his nephew Cedrick, until he was visited by the ghosts Yin and Yang, they began to surround him and slightly annoy him.

Yin: Hey Lord betrayus! Why so quiet!?

Betrayus: I'm waiting for stupid dr buttocks to finish his invention for my nephew's birthday!

Yang: oh it's cedrick?...

Betrayus: yup.. wait..How do they know his name, do they know him too!?

Yin: Yes... we always tease him at school, and I also like his friend molly ewe...

Yang: And because we both go to the same school -_-

Betrayus: I heard myself a couple of self-conscious fish! Pacman himself is at that party! and they are going to do something to him, my stupid older brother is screwing me up! >:C *scolding the two black and white ghosts*

Yin and Yang: yes 😰😥

Mitzy: Daddy!... :D

Betrayus: Yes My princess?

Mitzy: I already sent all the gifts for my cousin, I just need that Dr. Buttocks finish with his <3

Betrayus: oh Nice! ^^

_____

In the round house where the guests were, they had already finished eating the food that sir.c had prepared for everyone, they had all started a game of guessing who it was without seeing, the game consisted that one had to blindfold, and grab someone and guess who the person was.

Jack: *Blindfolded* oh who is?... *touching Aurora *

Aurora: heheje... you have to guess Jack! <3

Jack: Oh.. it's Ryan! :D

Aurora: eh nope...

Ryan: AAAAAWWWW xD

Ellie: Come Jack come here :)... * calling him with his voice *

Jack: Yes...

Cedrick: Aunt, is it okay if my cousin Ellie is with Ryan, and is more than friends? :P

Arimette/molasses: UH.. Yea... I have no problem in the least, besides your uncle would have approved too, he was very close to Zac and sunny :)...

Pac: hey Mrs. Arimette / Molasses, do you still remember something about my parents?

Arimette/molasses: oh yes, I still remember well when your mother came with her husband, accompanying Tohru/Shirou home, we had long talks about our daily lives and thus, even she passed me some pretty good recipes. 😋

Cedrick: I wish I could also meet my uncle Tohru / Shirou and your parents Pacman :(

Molly: Cedrick...

Cedrick: Yes Molly?

Molly: Do you want to play to put the tail on the donkey? :)

Cedrick: Yeah.. <D

Cedrick went where they played to put the donkey's tail, the first player was lexy Soto blindfolded, and with the tail in his hand, the first attempt failed and put the donkey's tail on the donkey's nose.

Lexy: hay no perdí... (there I did not lose)

Victor: tranquilo hombre! (calm man!), I will do better than you! *removes his special vision glasses, and shows his gray, pupilless eyes*

everyone except Victor: 👀👀👀😳😳😲

Victor: *grabs the donkey's tail and puts it on the donkey's butt as it should be by winning the game * lo ven cabrones! No estaba difícil! (you bastards see it! It was not difficult!)

Bradley: You say that because you are blind from birth! 7_7

Stratos: eh... Okay, For winning the game of putting the tail on the donkey, as a reward for having won here you have about $ 100 to spend on whatever you want ^^;...

Victor: Jajajajaja al chile Soy rico! (Hahahahah Nice i'm rich)

Rotunda: You know well that you gave that stinky Latino a lot of money! >:(

Stratos: yes mom.. but you have to admit that you win without cheating.

Rotunda: Bradley should bring people from our class instead of these walkers!..

Stratos: eh yes... -_-;

_____

Dr.buttocks: I have finished with the gift for your nephew Lord Betrayus! :D

Betrayus: Oh Nice! >:D

Mitzy: I too am prepared with gifts from my cousin cedrick! :3

Dr.buttocks: Remember Princess Mitzy this gift is a bit fragile and is very unnoticed with her uncles and her grandmother. Uwu

Mitzy: it is well I will take it into account.

_____

The time to distribute the cake arrived, the cake with a soft texture, light blue, and yellow details, there were also some candles that decorated it around, Cedrick blew on the candle, while they took a picture.

sir.c: good time to share our favorite boy's cake! ^^

Spheria: yes.. Yummy...

stratos: hey spheria is not due to recklessness but it is true that Arena is worse in the psychiatrist

Spheria: eh.. yes.. Why the question?

Stratos: The teacher at the school my son attends is Dr. Daniels.

Spheria: Oh really!? for how long?

Stratos: For several months, at first he made me quite suspicious, until I remembered that it was not surprising, he has been recognized as a doctorate and teaching for a long time.

Spheria: oh Of course I also remember him, he was also with us the day we buried all the soldiers who died in the war.

Stratos: that doesn't matter anymore, he must be excellent at his job anyway, I can't complain, now let's eat cake I feel like having dessert right now.

Spheria: oh right.

_____

Molly: mmmhhh.. Yummy.. *eating his slice of cake *

cedrick: you love it, it is prepared by the best pastry chef in town! :)

Molly: yes it's delicious. 😋

while they were eating bradley's dog, Quartzy approached cedrick with a small gift from bradley.

Cedrick: For me?... :)

Bradley: Yes... Open it I know you will love it, it was a bit expensive but I got it.

Cedrick begins to open it and realizes that it was a mobile music player, at the same time with his own headphones and songs already downloaded.

Cedrick: AAAAAWWWW... Thanks You bradley *hugs him*

Bradley: your welcome uwu

Rotunda: *looking very disapprovingly at bradley's gift, especially Quartzy's presence *

Quartzy: Ggggrrrrrrrr... *growling him to rotunda *

Continué...

[incorrect-sdv-quotes]

Okay so I know this is a SDV Incorrect quote blog but I really wanted to show off my SDV headcanon’s so you may ignore this post if you wish (I’ll go back to the normal posts after this, I have like 13 quotes queue’d up right now) 

Headcanon’s under the cut:

1.Alex’s real first name is Alexander he just prefers to go by Alex

2.Alex is a trans male so he was born female but transitioned to male at age 13

3.The bachelors ages are (listed youngest to oldest):

 Alex: 19 

Sebastian: 19 (one month older then Alex)

Sam: 20

Harvey: 25-30

Elliott: 36

Shane: 38

4.Despite Sam being older then him Alex is taller (if you put them side by side Sam looks taller but that’s only cause of his hair if you flattened it you could see Alex was taller)

5.Sebastian is secretly a vampire (He does look like one anyway)

6. Haley and Alex kind of have a Hazel and Xander from Bunk’d relationship where they’re kinda friends but one of them *cough cough* Haley *cough* has a huge crush on the other to where it’s at yandere point- Haley is not QUITE as crazy about Alex that Hazel is about Xander and unlike Hazel Haley can hide the craziness she does have around people but when it’s just her and Alex she’s all crazy and clingy- 

Like, she’ll call him pet names like “My jock prince” or “Alex-zandy-” or “My knight in shining armor” Etc. etc- or hug him and never let go until someone LITERALLY prys her off- Talk about nutty nutty nut-so-

7. My headcanon voices for the bachelors are: (Well some of them, if a name is in strike through that means I don’t have one for that one- yet)

Alex: Shining Armor from MLP

Sebastian

Sam: Rottmnt Leo/2020 Sonic the Hedgehog/Dewy from Ducktails (this one might change)

Harvey: Fozzie Bear (Harvey: WaKa WaKa (I’m sorry))

Elliott: Gunther from Shake It Up

Shane

8.Shane is basically the god of chickens he’s such a good caretaker of chickens that he could summon an army of chickens to peck the eyes out of everyone in town with one “Babock” CHICKEN ARMY!!

If you decided to read this post and you liked my headcanons then this is it for now more might be added later as I play the game and scroll through the SDV tags on Tumblr more 

EDIT 1: More headcanons!:

9: Elliott is an amazing actor but a horrid horror-movie actor (It’s just his screams are unrealistic he will literally just say “Aaaah” otherwise it’s the same as the rest of his acting) (This scream-glitch is an easy fix if you yell “Ghost” more on that in 10)

10: Elliott is TERRIFIED of ghosts even those cute and/or clearly fake ghosts (Why else do you think Spirits Eve/Halloween has Skeletons every year and not ghosts? No one wants to scare anyone Too bad.) Actually Alex dared Elliott to watch the Disney Junior show Vampirina which went fine until Demi came on screen- Elliott literally wet himself and screamed for 3 whole hours- (Poor Alex who had to listen to that the whole time-)

11: Elliott treats his pocket crab as his ACTUAL son, not as his pet but as his actual biological son (it’s actually really cute)

12: The portraits in this video for a portraits mod is how the characters actually look to me (Excluding Elliott Sam and Sebastian they still live in my brain with their cannon looks): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmBW8BzSZpU&list=WL&index=1&t=5s

13: Krobus is Sebastian’s father (yeah you THINK it would not make sense along with Hc numb.5 but if you think about it if his father is a monster and his mother is human he’s gonna be born as a human-looking monster! Which is a Vampire!)

EDIT 2: Damnit. I was scrolling through this and I realized I missed a Hc and it slipped through the original post and the EDIT 1!

14: Alex has Dyslexia (this bugger Hc belonged in the original post but it slipped through both edits)

EDIT 3: MORE HEADCANNONS-

15: Both Abigail and Sebastian used to have hair to match their parents (Abby’s was brown (Like said in game) and Sebastian’s was Ginger) but due to their “Unusual” parents (Abigail: Wizard Sebastian: Krobus) their hair changed color when they got older and their mothers just pretended they died their hair so both the towns people and Abigail and Sebastian themselves would not freak out 

16: Sebastian has snake bite piercing's but he only wears them when he’s alone (he got them in the first place cause 1: Sam dared him and 2: he decided it would be a fun way to rebel against dead to Sebastian Demetrius, he didn’t have to keep them but he ended up liking the look) 

17: Sebastian owns a giant frog plush, it’s twice the size of him, is really soft and is incredibly fat (it’s to the point it’s just a circle that has stubby legs) he loves it more then anything Excluding Alex but he does not want anyone finding out he loves it let alone owns it so he stuffs it under his bed when people are in and/or near his room

18: Sebastian’s first word was literally “Froggy”

Ex:

Robin: Can you say “mama”?

Baby!Sebastian: ...Froggy!

Robin:

Robin: Out of all words your first word is “Froggy”? Really?

19: The shortest to tallest Bachelors are:

Shane

Sam (If you take his hair and go *Squishes flat*)

Alex

Sebastian

Sam (If you count the added height from his Mullet)

Harvey

Elliott (Tall stinky sea dude)

20: Sam got Sebastian to scream “Bubbles” for 5 hours straight 

Details on that:

Sam: It’s impossible to say “Bubbles” threateningly

Sebastian:

Five munities later:

Robin: Uhhhh Sam? Why is my son on the roof screaming “BUBBLES”?

21: Sebastian owns a biker jacket but he only wears it when riding his motorcycle cause the jacket makes him look way more goth then emo and he prefers the emo look over goth look despite he acts more like a goth

22: One Feast of The Winter Star Sebastian got everyone an empty box and when they opened it Seb said: “It’s a void of nothingness. Just like life.” He did not get in trouble or nothing cause your allowed to give what you want but he did not do that again

23: Sebastian requires glasses to read, he can see perfectly but when it comes to reading on a computer or on paper he needs glasses

24: Sam does a perfect Darth Vader voice and Darth Vader breathing noises

25: Sebastian has vampire powers (cause he is a vampire (Hc 5)), he knows about them and is chill about it but he does not use them unless necessary cause he just does not feel the need to use them otherwise (His powers include, immortality (he also can’t be killed cause on my take on Vampires the stuff that “Traditionally” harms/kills them is just a mith and actually does nothing to them), super strength, increased speed, fast self-healing, telekinesis (I know this is not “Traditionally” a vampire power but Seb does have it) and the ability to change into a bat)

26: Both Sebastian and Elliott are actually pretty jacked (Not Alex level jacked but still) you just can’t see it unless they’re shirt-less (but in Seb’s case at least loose the hoodie)

27: Harvey’s doctor’s mallet weapon is just as heavy and as big as himself so he rarely goes into combat cause he has trouble welding his own weapon- 

Harvey: Time to explore the mines! *grabs his giant doctors mallet*

Harvey: Nope going down. *falls backward with a thud*

28: Elliott carries at least one very sharp pencil with him at all times so if he sees a very annoying person or a slime that escaped the mines he’ll grab it and go *StAb*

29: Everyone else makes Hermit jokes around Elliott which he finds funny and annoying at the same time (They used to do the jokes about Sebastian as well but they stopped cause when they did Seb strangled them Darth Vader style) Ex of the hermit jokes:

*singing* Someone’s on the beach with a hermit! There’s a hermit on the beach I know I know! Someone’s on the beach with a hermiiiit! And the hermit’s name is Elliott!

30: If you think Elliott’s cannon SDV schedule is anti-social you should see how anti-social he gets when writing a book-

EDIT 4: Surprise, there’s more

31: Elliott is a mermaid merman (he’s a human by day half human half fish by night but he’ll change forms sooner if you dump water on him- found that out by Haley throwing water on him in hopes he’ll melt-)

32: When in ‘fish’ form Elliott’s tail is incredibly strong (if you get hit by it you’ll go flying 900 feet in the air in 5 seconds at full strength)

33:Elliott only lets Harvey call him “Elly” if anyone else does so expect Elliott to dump water on himself then hit you with his fish tail)

34:Vincent will sing The Little Mermaid song “Under the sea” around Elliott and Sebastian (Sebastian cause think about it and Elliott cause he’s an IRL Mermaid)

[fnibbet]

MY THOUGHTS ON THE NEW WANDAVISION EPISODE

Don’t click the cut if you don’t want spoilers, I won’t be shy with them, neither are they in chronological order. I’m not that good at theorizing but I’m just putting what I noticed out there.

PIETRO

Pietro is definitely not the Pietro we know. He is way too self aware, constantly refers to life outside of Westview, and as expected, has selective amnesia. Wanda directly asks about childhood memories of their own Halloweens, and he doesn’t answer correctly. Also, the line “you probably suppressed a lot of the trauma”. ohohoh. There is definitely something off, but he’s the couch surfer, good-with-kids, troublemaker uncle we expected, which I can excuse.

HOWEVER

“I’m just trying to do my part, okay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the rugrats, and ultimately give you grief. I mean, that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” Also, “Next thing I know I heard you calling me” this is pretty disturbing. Who called him to Westview? Wanda says she did, but doesn’t know how she did it. Her reaction to him coming back just proves more she’s just a puppet to a higher power. Who? 

“Why do you look different?” Wanda is not the one who recast Pietro.

“If I see any funny business I’m going to magic you into a pickled herring” Is Wanda referring to the “red herring” writing tool? Is Pietro just a distraction? It would make sense given her color scheme is all about red... Let’s see if I’m right. Other than that it’s a funny gag.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING PIETRO SAYS IS DISTURBING AND/OR SHOWS HIS AWARENESS OF THE SITUATION.

OTHER WESTVIEW RESIDENTS

Several other Westview residents seemingly become aware of the situation; Wanda’s control is slipping. Herb asks, “Is there something I can do for you? Do you want something changed?” possibly referring to the whole simulation, not the neighborhood watch rounds on Halloween.

Agnes is scared. She is DEFINITELY NOT Mephisto or the one controlling the simulation. Vision snapped her from Wanda’s control, nothing fell apart, she was terrified. 

Speaking of Agnes: there is a parallel to 1x03 “Now In Colour” wherein Agnes hesitates before telling Vision he’s dead. “Because we’re all...” “Because we’re all what?” becomes a parallel to Vision saying “Because I’m what?”. All in all pretty disturbing, this could point to a theory in which all the Westview residents are either dead or blipped but didn’t come back. However I’m pointing for dead or just missing, because there was nothing mentioned about missing people after the blipped were brought back in other movies. Marvel is notoriously bad about handling the consequences of the blip though, so I’m not holding my breath.

“Huh... These people, near the edge of town...They're barely moving. Are they alive?” Jimmy inadvertently says the most horrifying things...

THE TWINS

One of the twins has super speed, the other, reality-bending powers and telepathy. “A chip off the old Maximoff block” indeed.

WANDA: And please just remember to-- BOTH: Don't go past Ellis Avenue. We know, Mom. We know. Ellis Avenue is the edge of town, and the theory that kids can’t be mind controlled is proven correct: Agnes’ comment about that is mirrored. Wanda has apparently told the twins repeatedly to not go past Ellis Avenue. She can’t mind control them so she does the next best thing, set believable, parental restrictions and boundaries, like any “normal” parent would do, but with a far different intent behind it. Yikes.

I read on another post that Westview is basically Wanda living out her parents’ perfect life: this seems really logical now that her twins display the exact same powers as her and Pietro.

S.W.O.R.D.

Hayward is a ✨d i c k✨

The stinky bastard is just as sus as we expected, he’s looking for the vibranium decay signature inside the anomaly to monitor Vision, assumingly to see how fast he’s dying. HE CAN SEE INSIDE WESTVIEW FOR GODSAKES.

Vision started decaying and being sucked back into Westview the instant he got out. He cannot exist outside the Maximoff anomaly.

Monica’s cells have been rewritten several times by the energy inside the anomaly: could this be a new super’s birth? A new Scarlet Witch?

That said, what kind of powers does she gain? The same kind used to keep the people in Westview “alive” (between quotes cause I’m not sure of my theory yet), so either the same powers as Wanda, or something involving immortality. Either way, holy shit I can’t wait.

Not only could Hayward see inside Westview, it was noted by SWORD people that a lot of people suddenly stopped moving. Wanda needs to focus on them moving to be able to control them: it gets a bit buggy and stops entirely later. Maybe it’s because she was focused on Pietro and the twins? The timeline between Wanda and Vision’s respective actions wouldn’t line up though.

S.W.O.R.D literally got ABSORBED by Wanda’s bubble expanding. What happens to Darcy?? She’s the only one of the trio who didn’t escape!!

THE AD

A recurring theme so far, this one is weirder than ever. No HYDRA or Stark symbolism this time, that’s probably been dropped with the advancing of the decades. The snack advertised is called “Yo-Magic: The snack for survivors.” Make of that what you will...

A TEMPORAL ANACHRONISM

This might be nothing, but I still find it interesting. The sign of the movie theater in one of the scenes lists two movies playing: The Incredibles and The Parent Trap. The first movie won’t come out until 2004, but The Parent Trap came out in 1998, which makes the timeline of the episode very fuzzy. Additionally, the twins didn’t age themselves up, they had no reason to, but it’s still suspicious. Does this happen in the 90s or the early 2000s?? The episode is in the style of a 90s sitcom (turned psych horror) and the show isn’t supposed to hit the early 2000s until episode 7, unless Wanda’s decided to speed things up. But why?

THE SITCOM THEME

Yes, I am making an entirely new bullet just for this. It is so disturbing.

🎶Wanda, Wanda Vision 🎶

Don't try to fight the chaos

Don't question what you've done

The game can try to play us

Don't let it stop the fun

Some days it's all confusion

Easy come and easy go

But if it's all illusion

Sit back, enjoy the show

Let's keep it going

Let's keep it going

Through each distorted day

Let's keep it going

Though there may be no way of knowing

Who's coming by to play

Holy fuck, okay. Shit’s been dialed up to 11. Buckle up.

[et-lesailes]

63 with the man the myth the legend Steve Rogers himself???

63. Routine Kisses Where The Other Person Presents Their Cheek/Forehead For The Hello/Goodbye Kiss Without Even Looking Up From What They’re Doing

“Alright babe, are you all good here?” Steve called from the kitchen, wiping his hands with the dish towel as his blue eyes looked over the newly cleaned baby bottles set out to dry on the rack by the sink. “I just washed the bottles and I moved her clothes from the washing machine to the dryer, so they should be done in about a half hour or so.” He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and came out to the living room where you were sitting on the floor with your seven-month-old daughter, Ellie. You smiled up at him gratefully as you held her little hands while she rocked her body back and forth. “Thanks so much, babe. I’m good, you can go to work-- you’re running late already, aren’t you?”

He chuckled softly simply from looking at his little girl, adoration shining in his hues. “Yeah, but they’re lucky I’m even showing up at all when I’ve got two perfect angels at home.” He sighed almost dreamily as he knelt down, reaching forward to caress her tiny cheek with his broad finger. “Maybe I should take the day off...”

“Steve. You take any more days off and you’re going to be fired.” You playfully chided, then wrinkled your nose. “Ooh, I definitely smell a poop.” You stood up and scooped Ellie up with you, going over to the changing table. “Maybe I can come by on your lunch break with her? We can all eat together,” you suggested as you laid her down, and Steve smiled as he straightened back up to his feet, nodding his head. “I’d love that, baby. I miss you guys so much when I’m working.”

His phone suddenly started ringing and he blinked as he glanced down at the screen. “Crap. Forgot I had a meeting.” You tilted your head towards him while you focused on wiping Ellie’s bum, allowing him easier access to lean forward and give your forehead a kiss. “Bye, sweetheart. I love you,” he murmured, then leaned down to give the top of his baby’s head a little peck. “And I love you, no matter how stinky you are.” 

[crematedcow]

my mc gonna call elli a stinky boy lmaooo

WRONG i am the author, i have the power, you are nothing in front of my esteemed self AND I DO NOT GIVE YOU THE ABILITY TO EVER CALL HIM A STINKY BOY he is FRESH AND CLEAN AND SMELLS LIKE RAIN SHOWERS DURING SPRING

[flowerpowell]

Hardships of Fatherhood (Colt x MC, m!Avery x MC, Drake x MC)

A set of drabbles based on “little one prompt list”

A/N: I wasnt sure who to tag since I combined a few LIs haha. So I tagged my perma + Drake and Colt tag (dont have Avery tag yet). I hope it’s okay! Characters belong to Pixelberry. Word count for each of the drabbles is between 100-200 words! Pure fluff :)

Colt x MC

“Being unable to stay mad at little one when they give you puppy dog eyes”

“Ugh, I can’t be in the same room with Ali for a while.” Colt walks up to the couch and sits down next to Ellie. She looks up from the book she was reading at her husband.

“What did this poor two-year old do again?”

“She drew flowers all over my jacket. My favorite jacket! With her marker. Pink marker,” he explains and Ellie tries to keep a straight face.

“I almost ruined your jacket once too. I won’t believe you’re mad at her because of that,” Ellie raises her eyebrow..

“No, it’s not that. It’s just… anytime I try to reprimend her, she gives me those eyes. Those damn puppy eyes and I can’t even be upset with her anymore. It’s frustrating,” Colt sighs and Ellie lets out a laugh.

“So you can’t stay mad at her because she gives you eyes that look like mine and you know I’m too cute to be mad at?”

“What? No. She gives me those eyes and looks exactly like me, and let’s be real,” he motions to his face, “no one can say ‘no’ to this face. And this is dangerous.“

-----------------------------------------

m!Avery x MC

“Little one needing an emergency bath”

Cadence heard footsteps in the hall and she knew her two boys finally decided to come home. It was already late, her son should have been in bed at that hour but he begged her to let him go for a short walk after the rain. Cadence wasn’t exactly sure if it was a good idea, Ben was already in his pajamas but Avery convinced her it was summer, it was hot outside and he would take their son on a short walk. It was exactly fourty minutes ago.

Cadence turned her head to the doorway to see Ben, all covered in mud, running up to her.

“Mummy! It was amazing!” He hugged her, staining her nightgown.

“I see you had fun. A little bit too much fun. But someone will need an emergency bath asap,” she pulled away to see how bad it was. “Did you fall into a puddle?”

“No!” Ben laughed. “But we had a mud fight!”

“We?” Cadence asked raising her eyebrow before Avery showed up in the doorway. She gasped seeing the mud on his shirt, his pants, his shoes, his face, and even his hair.

“Yeah…” he started, “I think Daddy needs an emergency bath, too.”

-----------------------------------------

Drake x MC

“Little one stripping their clothes and running around in their diaper”

“Duchess Kate, Prince William, it’s an honor to host you here, in my Duchy Valtoria,” Riley smiled at her guests as she was showing them around. They just entered the ballroom and it was the first stop on her list.

“Please, call me Kate! And we love it here! It’s so much quieter and more peaceful than the Royal Palace,” the Duchess smiled warmly.

“I’m really happy you like it here. I can assure you that Valtoria is perfect for a stay; surrounded by nature, quiet and–”

“AAAAH!!!” A voice coming from a hall interrupted her, shortly followed by another one.

“Come here, you little stinky feet human!”

“Nebel!”

Riley watched in horror as her son ran into the ballroom, taking his clothes off in the process and throwing them around. Her eyes widened even more when her own husband, Duke Drake Walker ran into the ballroom as well, his shirt covered in their son’s poop, trying to catch him.

“COME HERE AND STOP TAKING OFF YOUR CLOTHES! YOU’RE EMBARRASSING YOUR MOMMY”

“Nooooo!” the little one screamed as he ran out of the ballroom with nothing but a diaper on, and Drake quickly followed suit.

There was a silence for a few moments before Riley nervously cleared her throat and tried to smile as if nothing happened to her very surprised guests.

“As I was saying… Valtoria is lovely but I think the Royal Palace is a little bit more quieter…”

---------------------------

perma tag: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @brightpinkpeppercorn @blackcatkita @cora-nova

colt tag: @lovehugsandcandy @zaffrenotes @long-gone-girl @umiumichan

drake tag: @walkerduchess @mymandrake @butindeed @thequeenofcronuts 

only this fic: @unicornfatty @client-327 @endlesscressdarnel 

[elysiansaysthings]

bedtime || mason & ellie

“gabby, i don’t know why i hear singing when you’re supposed to be brushing your teeth and going to bed,” she called out. walking into the kitchen, she laid a pile of clothes on the counter, watching oliver open the fridge. “oliver lake. get out of my fridge --- no, come back,” she said, hurrying to close the fridge door and chase after him when he quickly started down the hall. she caught up to him when he fell at her bedroom door and she picked him up, kissing his cheek as he laughed. “you thought you were gonna get away, huh?” she asked, walking into hers and mason’s bedroom and gently tossing him onto the bed, earning a belly laugh. “you wanna get gabby tucked in or deal with his stinky diaper and changed into jammies, daddy?” @mason-daviss​

[rarestereocats]

I make my way back to the others after nearly destroying this lady's home for the sake of rat justice,  noticing a merchant cart roll into town with some much needed supplies after news of this ghoul problem spread around.  Meanwhile Torik approaches a random child on the street to pass off a toy bow he doesn't want because why just clean out our inventories when we could give back to the people?  This kid is understandably a little nervous by the strange preacher man coming over and giving him things,  but luckily Torik's a cool dude and puts this kid's mind at ease and they get a new toy out of it.  With that taken care of,  we all meet back up at the Pridemaker's Hearth to ready ourselves and head out on a dangerously simple plan.

We need a signal in case things go wrong,  so Beldroth hands Torik a signal whistle that he surprisingly had on him.  Because it lets off an eagle's call,  we all have to figure out if eagles are even native to this area on the off-chance the ever elusive night eagle throws a wrench in our plans.  The jury's still out on that one,  so we say a little prayer for protection (and to keep eagles at bay) and set off.  Torik lights up a candle to make himself even more appealing on his totally lonesome journey to the woods,  Sam flies overhead to keep an eye on things,  Beldroth sneaks behind through the bushes,  and I clumsily follow after while being about as stealthy as a tired old man raiding the fridge at 1 in the morning.  Despite the grim circumstances surrounding this trip,  it's a pretty nice night...

Well,  up until Torik delves deeper and the forest grows a little too quiet.  He heads in the direction of the silence while Beldroth points out possible ghoul tracks to me and right as he does,  there's a flurry of something moving past the two of us,  ready to sink its creepy claws into Torik.  But luckily,  he turns around in time and throws up his shield,  preventing him from being a part of Windermare's current statistic,  and blows the signal whistle.  We all move in to beat the shit out of this lonely ghoul,  but of course,  we should've known better as two more jump into the fray.  They're surprisingly no match for us and with two dead,  we tie up the other and take it back to town to interrogate,  startling the only guard who begs us to keep it away from the townsfolk.

So we set it up in the local cemetery,  Beldroth tying its arms up above it and on the branch,  setting a trap that'll kill it if it manages to break free.  Torik questions it aggressively,  even going as far to threaten it with holy water,  but after Beldroth makes fun of his interrogation skills,  Torik storms off and leaves the rest of us to handle it.  Same manages to coax some answers from the creature,  though these answers are cryptic and vague.  Knowing it has a leader though,  we take it down from the tree,  fastening a harness for it and "kindly" urging it to take us to its lair and upon arriving;  Torik finishes this one off by pouring his holy water all over it.  We head inside and very quickly learn that this dungeon isn't a fungeon as ghouls are the least of our problem and some of the stalagmites turn out to be more than they are.

They can sprout tentacles and have a particular affinity for latching themselves to everybody's faces and trying to choke the life out of us.  Even when we think we've taken care of that problem,  all of us head deeper into these tunnels with a healthy sense of paranoia and we have every right to be as these dark mantles attack us on several occasions.  Further on,  we think we can sneak and get the jump on a group of ghouls chewing on a mangled,  unrecognizable body;  but we thought wrong as they turned around and start tearing into us immediately.  It's like trying to approach a group of rabid,  wild dogs and hoping you can sneakily throw a leash around their neck and be okay only for you to walk away with a tooth stuck in your leg and a need for a rabies shot.

Once the ghouls are cut down,  Torik continues to burn their bodies because to be honest,  it's what they deserve.  The mangled body turns out to be the body of the teenage boy who originally spotted the creatures,  so we cremate him on the spot cuz Torik's apparently just a traveling crematorium;  and retrieve his necklace to return to his family.  Onward we press until we reach another room full of ghouls and a big one that we can only assume is the leader.  Big Stinky and Co are kind of assholes and kick all of our asses pretty hard,  even knocking Torik unconscious and nearly killing me.  But luckily,  the tides turn in our favor and the ghouls are all annihilated and their bodies burned to a pile of crispy,  stinky ashes.  The room has piles of bones and belongings,  so Torik and Sam spend time gathering up the belongings of the deceased to return to the people of Windermare.

With that,  Beldroth leads us back to the town and come morning,  we visit the mayor to tell him of our success.  We turn over the belongings,  acquire our reward,  and Sam manages to cure me of my lycanthropy (which I still don't believe in),  and with nothing else left to take care of in Windermare;  we head back to Fragifell to speak with Ellie.  Ellie's got an elven visitor that looks like somebody of importance and especially looks like someone I know,  but my dumbass can't figure out who he is.  He's the lord of our region,  Nikolos Crows,  so the fact that I can't remember him is very bad.  We tell both my boss and the lord of our success in stomping out the ghoul problem,  and they're both very pleased.  In a few short minutes though,  what looks like a competent team falls apart as we all manage to make asses out of ourselves in front of the lord.  Torik pulls out his ancestor worship spiel,  getting cut off as Beldroth and the lord get into a lengthy discussion about elven things,  such as the artifact that Beldroth's seeking out.

Which leads Torik to talking about the artifact he's looking for and Crows asks what it is Sam's looking for.  Sam's just looking for some good ol' knowledge...something about dark or forbidden knowledge that isn't easy to acquire and cookbooks?  Obviously such forbidden knowledge is hidden within the rambling stories of a wealthy gnomish woman who's about to tell you every decision she's made in her life up until the point she learned to make a pretty bitchin' lasagna.  So Crows calls me by name and asks me what I'm looking for too,  and I'm absolutely honored that this man I have no recollection of knows my name a n d wants to know about me.  I decide to be honest as right now,  I'm only looking for a pair of manacles.  He looks amused,  but my boss looks exasperated,  but Crows urges her to fetch said manacles for me;  so damn,  this guy's cool.

He says so long as we continue to work with him,  he'll help us all on our quests.  He has a job for us all.  Simply deliver and letter and a birthday present to the lord of a neighboring region,  Kalcuer.  He resides in the capital city and in order to get into his palace,  we'll all need to wear crests to prove we can be trusted.  So lord Crows gets us situated in a fancy inn tonight as he has to prepare those for us.  We'll be given some horses to rent for the trip,  but Torik has decided he'd like to buy himself a pony instead.  With all that taken care of,  the lord warns us not to abuse our power with those crests and we part ways for the night.