#end story I don't think there was a point here. I'm so sleepy and also dying.

[twilightarcade]

ok so I was reading then slept 4 like an hour and a half

[scarlethexelove]

How about a WandaNat fic where both are slightly dark and kidnap R. R isn't too worried about it though and soon grows to actually love both of them. Maybe something angsty with a happy ending 🙂

We'll Keep You Safe

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader

Word Count: 1546

Warnings: Domestic violence, kidnapping, allusion to drugging, murder, I don't think there is much else.

Part 2 Save You

A/N: First I want to thank @abbyromanoff for the help on a bit of the story idea. I was struggling to come up with how they get to the point so thank you Abby. Hope this is what you wanted I'm not really sure how much I like this one myself but I hope you enjoy.

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

You run from your house. Your wife is screaming at you to come back but you don't, you just run to your neighbors house. They told you if you ever needed anything that you could come to them. So that is what you did. Tears streaming down your face, your right eyes almost swollen shut and a gash on your cheek. You cradle your right arm with your left pretty sure that your wrist is broken. 

This wasn’t the first time she hit you, but this was the worst. You said you would leave but every time you were about to she promised to change to never hit you again. All she did was give you broken promises. So this time you ran her anger being heard even as you got to the front door of your neighbors. 

You banged on the door with your left hand as you looked back, scared she would follow you. You kept knocking even as the door opened, startling you and almost hitting the woman at the door. “I-I’m sorry.” You stuttered out. 

The beautiful brunette looks at your concern and anger swirling in her eyes. “S-sh-she” you stutter more, not able to form words. “Help” your voice sounding so small, your legs giving out as pain starts to spread through your body. The adrenaline wears off making you feel the full force of your injuries. Wanda catches you in her arms slowly helping you to the ground and pulling you into her. 

“Natasha!” Wanda calls out to her wife. Natasha comes around the corner, as soon as she sees you there is fury in hers. Your face is buried in Wanda’s neck as you cry. Natasha tries to make her way past you both so that she can teach your wife a lesson but Wanda stops her. Instead Wanda passes you to her wife. Sharing a knowing look. Natasha cradles you in her arms and carries you into the living room sitting down with you on the couch. Burying yourself into her she holds you tightly as you cry continuously apologizing to her as you soak her shirt in your tears. 

Natasha shushes you as she rubs her hand up and down your back. Wanda making her way into the kitchen. A few minutes later as you start to calm down Wanda returns with a tray. A tea pot and some tea cups sit on the tray. She pours a cup for you. Natasha coxes you out of her neck as Wanda extends the cup of tea. You take it hesitantly and take a few sips. Both women give you a sad smile. 

“Honey, do you want to tell us what happened?” Wanda speaks gently as she sits down on the edge of the coffee table in front of you. You lightly nod your head before speaking. “I-I came home and Lila was pissed. S-she found the divorce papers I had hidden. I tried to tell her I wasn’t going to but she s-started hitting me. I-I ran here as soon as I could get away.” You tell the woman. “I’m scared.”

“We won’t let her hurt you again.” Natasha says. You can feel her anger but also her concern. You lay your head on her shoulder starting to feel sleepy and your body feeling numb. The pain fading away. Your body feels heavy as you try to speak again but no words come out. That is the last thing you remember before everything goes black. 

You blink your eyes open, your body feeling weak and heavy. It’s hard to keep your eyes open but you're able to look around. You are wearing different clothes which freaks you out. Did someone change you? What the hell happened? Why are you here? And where is Wanda and Natasha? All these questions run through your mind. Panic setting in.

You start to look around again. This room is not one you are familiar with. The walls are wooden and a few paintings scattered around. There is a bedside table next to the bed you are laying on. It is soft, softer than anything you have been on in a long time. One of your wifes punishments for a long time has been sleeping on the ground. You notice the water on the bedside table which makes you realize how thirsty you are. Your mouth feels as though you have cotton in it. So you reach out grabbing it, but as you bring it to yourself you drop the glass and it shatters on the ground. 

Just then the door swings open and you see a panicked Wanda with Natasha behind her. They both quickly rush towards you. “Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?” Wanda questions quickly come up next to you grabbing your hands and looking you over to see if you have any new injuries. “Where am I? What are we doing here? Why am I wearing different clothes?” You send out a rapid array of questions to the woman.

Wanda gives you a soft look. “We brought you here.” She told you, placing a hand on your check which you flinch from before letting her touch you. “We had to get you away from her.” Natasha added as she bent down cleaning up the shattered glass. “H-her, y-you mean my wife?” You question starting to push Wanda away and scrabble out of the bed. She grips you tightly and doesn’t let you up. 

“Ow, Wanda you're hurting me.” You tell her as her grip loosens on your good wrist. That is when you realize that they have tended to your injuries and cleaned you up. “Sorry detka. We just want to keep you safe. We never want to hurt you. You deserve so much better than that woman can provide you. We just want to keep you safe and give you the love you deserve.” Wanda gently tells you, holding your hands in hers. You let yourself relax and stare at her. “She can never hurt you again.” Natasha adds sitting down next to you. 

You can’t help but admit that you have had a crush on the women since you met them, but you have a wife and they were married to each other. So you always push down those feelings, but sitting here with the woman feels just right. Natasha’s words echoing in your head which causes you to think. “What do you mean she will never hurt me again? You can’t know that. W-what if she finds me?” You quickly panic at the thought. 

“She won’t be a problem anymore Y/n I promise you that.” Natasha reassures you, but something still doesn’t sit right. “Did you hurt her?” You question the woman sitting next to you. You can see an evil glint in her eyes. “No one will ever hurt you again and no one will ever find her.” Natasha said, trying to lessen the blow to the fact that she inadvertently admitted to killing your wife. You should be scared and you should try and run from them. They did kidnap you and murder your wife but you can’t find it in yourself to do any of that. They seem to care so much about you and you wouldn’t be surprised if they actually love you. 

“I-I I don’t know what to say.” You stutter out. They have already done more for you and made you feel so safe in such a short amount of time. So you accept it. You accept that they have killed your wife and brought you somewhere to keep you safe. They have taken care of your injuries. Your wrist has been set, they cleaned your cheek. Your eye doesn’t seem to be as swollen anymore. They really care for you. 

“You don’t have to say anything Y/n we love you so much already and we just want to give you everything you deserve.” Wanda gently strokes the back of your hand with her thumb. Natasha leans in and kisses your forehead. “You mean the world to us detka.” Natasha adds. Tears spring into your eyes at their words. They do love you and they are gentle with you. A stark contrast to the life you have been living. So you let the rational part of you go and you listen to the warm feeling in your chest. Leaning your body into Natasha as she wraps her arms around you. 

You feel tired again, your body relaxing with the safety you feel for the first time in a long time. You can’t remember the last time you felt like this. As you relax into Natasha she starts to guide you to lay down. She shuffles you and herself back on the bed pulling your body fully into hers. Wanda slides in behind you and wraps her arms around your waist as she gently kisses your shoulder. 

“We have you sweet girl and we promise to never hurt you.” Natasha kisses the top of your head. Your tired eyes closing as you nuzzle into her chest. You can get used to this. Living safe and sound with two women who love and care for you. “I love you.” You whisper as you drift off into a deep sleep. 

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I read the post where you answered why you didn’t like Malleus and remembered that you placed Leona really highly on your favs list, and Leona is my favorite so do you mind me asking why do you like Leona?

[My TWST character tier list is here.]

[Anon is also referencing this Malleus post.]

THERE’S A REASON WHY L*ONA IS IN “Unfortunately Enjoy” TIER 😭 I think for like... over a year (2020-2021)? Probably closer to 1.5 years?? I really disliked him and swore up and down that I'd "never in my life simp for the fake cat". This was largely in part due to book 2, which to this day I believe did Leona a HUGE disservice and made him look very unintelligent and uninteresting. Then I was drip fed new Leona content as it steadily came out (vignettes, voice lines, event stories, his return in book 6) and my opinion of him vastly improved. Book 2 was just a really bad introduction to him and it greatly soured my first impressions. sjfyofqebfeiafns B-But now I'm too embarrassed to openly declare, "Yeah, I like a sad muscular l*on man. So what?" Some would say that's tsundere behavior... BUT I SAY I'M COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED FOR ACTING THIS WAY BECAUSE IT ISN'T EASY TO CONFESS WITH YOUR WHOLE CHEST THAT YOU LIKE KINGSCHOLAR OF ALL TWST CHARACTERS

... Anyway! For a much more expanded explanation, I'd recommend this post! It already states a lot of my thoughts, and I don't want to repeat them in yet another lengthy lion-related post. What I'll do instead is summarize the key points for you, plus add some commentary about Leona and Malleus at the end.

Admittedly, he is pretty. VERY pretty. I'm saying this as someone who normally really dislikes hair longer than shoulder length, the "wild"/bad boy aesthetic, and kemonomimi. Leona breaks ALL the rules and still somehow manages to wear everything and anything well because of his sheer confidence and natural grace. His physical features are also very striking... The sharp bright green eyes, the small waist and large chest (there's NO reason why he HAD to be built like that), his stupid smirk, etc.

His pettiness and sarcasm. Leona has, hands down, some of the funniest lines 🤡 I love that he has the balls to speak callously to everyone, including fellow dorm leaders and royalty. His best moments, however, are when he whips out the sarcasm on statements which are so patently untrue--like when he says he is a 'delicate prince' and a 'lost child', both moments from book 6. It's also hilarious whenever Leona speaks in a formal way, showing that he does have the education and the knowledge of how a prince should present himself, but just actively chooses to not make the effort and only does so mockingly or when social grace calls for it.

HIS BIG BRAIN FOLDS, HOLY COW (err, book 2 aside). Leona works smarter, not harder!! He's always one step ahead of everyone else, even if he appears sleepy or disinterested at the time. He figured out the trick behind the "indestructible" golden contracts, he sussed out Jamil WAY before book 4 ever came out (saying that Jamil has "eyes that always glare" and implying that Jamil poses a threat to Kalim's life; this is from Jamil's School Uniform vignette), he takes what he learns in textbooks and so easily translates it to real-world experiences (ie advising the first years on how to more efficiently mine magestones in Vargas Camp), etc. Additionally, Leona knows when to step in and when to be hands off. It's not done out of cowardice or laziness, but rather because he's thinking strategically. For example, he could have resisted capture at the hands of the Ferrymen, but he didn't because it would be smarter to just go with them willingly. It saves everyone a lot of time and energy, and it’s this kind of intelligent thinking that makes Leona really stand out.

He knows how to lead. There are many different types of beastmen, each with own beliefs, values, and traditions that are unique to their own group. As a result, it is very difficult to unify all beastmen within the Sunset Savanna under one rule. Guess who doesn't have this problem? THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S LEONA. There's a variety of beastmen in Savanaclaw, and he effortlessly rules over them and commands their respect.

He actively thinks about how to improve the Sunset Savanna. Leona's ideas are not always the best (like, yeah, you could introduce new technology to the country but expect significant social pushback from the people, who prioritize living in harmony with nature). However, I can really appreciate that he did not entirely turn his back on the people who feared his powers and talked him down. I think he eventually realized the flaws in his way of thinking and actively chose an energy and mining lab internship in hopes of researching ways to slowly implement changes that will benefit the Sunset Savanna while also remaining respectful of the people's beliefs. He is concerned about Falena's lax way of ruling and consistently brings up ideas in various voice lines about how they can improve the Sunset Savanna and its relationships with other countries and tourists. In spite of everything he went through, Leona never wants to hurt those who hurt him with their comments and comparisons to his elder brother. He does not ever want to tear down the system that kicked him down again and again, only wants to challenge it by proving his own merits and the merits of the other downtrodden that he leads.

As much as he wants to deny it, he cares about his underclassmen and goes out of his way to help them. There are sooo many examples of this that it cannot possibly fit in one bullet point. (I would really recommend reading the elongated post linked above, as I go into more detail on this.) Suffice to say, Leona has been shown guiding, instructing, and mentoring many other characters including, but not limited to: Epel, Ruggie, Jack, Jamil, and various Savanaclaw mob students. This really hits me in the heart because I love reliable big brother characters 😭 EVEN THOUGH LEONA IS TECHNICALLY A YOUNGER BROTHER...

He understands his strengths—and he understands others' strengths too. This man is fully aware of his magical might and powerful presence. He uses every last bit of it to full effect and to attain his goals, whatever those may be. One of my favorite uses has to be In Fairy Gala!! He distracted some pixies by simply demanding water and their attention so his partners in crime could escape—and what’s more, this was a plan he came up with on the spot because their mission was being jeopardized by unforeseen events. Leona is also good about pinpointing people’s best attributes and then helping them hone it. This happens a lot during club practice, bur it also occurs in book 6 between him and Jamil. Speaking of…

THAT WHOLE BOOK 6 CONVERSATION WITH JAMIL DESERVES ITS OWN BULLET POINT. This part was peak mentor mode Leona 😭 Sure, maybe he wasn’t the kindest with his wording, but I felt this was the wake up call Jamil needed to hear. What really got me though was the part where Leona tells Jamil there’s still hope for him… “unlike me”. (I believe this part was translated differently in EN to make Leona’s ego sound more inflated (ie “I’m not like you”) which saddens me immensely.) It paints the image that Leona is still struggling to believe his efforts will amount to anything and that he believes more in his juniors than in himself :(( (which informs my headcanon that Leona mentors younger students so that they can have the bright future he doesn’t think he can have for himself).

Emotional complexity. When you get down to it, what started off as a very basic story of jealousy and inferiority complex actually resulted in a deeply flawed, traumatized, and scarred individual who continues to doubt and put himself down but is slowly recovering. Leona is smart and charismatic—he is everything a leader should be, but he doesn’t truly see his own worth. (Ironically, the only people who do are the ones who look up to him and follow him.) And now… Leona’s actually got his eyes set on graduating! He has his internship plans set! I think he’s made such big strides since book 2, and it’s been so rewarding seeing him regain his willingness to try and succeed return to him.

Looking back on it, it’s so ironic how things ended up working out. Initially, I was totally on Lilia’s side when he insulted Leona and said he would never be the kind of leader Malleus is. Now I’m realizing how Leona does many of the things I don’t see Malleus doing (despite Lilia claiming Malleus is more fit to be king than Leona is).

Malleus isn’t harming his people by any means, but it’s more like he’s… stagnant? Complacent? He’s satisfied with the status quo and is comfortable resting on his laurels. And because of that, Malleus doesn’t really seem to consider what he, as a leader, can do for others, be it for his dorm members or doe his country. (Part of this is also how isolated and opposed to change Briar Valley is, of course! That kind of culture definitely shapes Malleus’s thinking.) He tends to avoid situations which involve navigating social complexities rather than dealing with them himself. Think of Ghost Marriage, when Sebek proposes in his place. Think of Fairy Gala, when Silver is the one that ultimately resolves the conflict between the diurnal fae (who have historically not been friendly with nocturnal fae) and NRC. Malleus is so sheltered that has not truly been put in situations where he has to make tough decisions or where he has been challenged. He has never had to claw and scream and beg for people to see his worth.

Leona has been through that emotional wringer, and though he’s been hurt so badly, he still came out the other side. In running from the shadow of his family—of his older brother—Leona found solace in this new kingdom, Savanaclaw. It’s a place to build himself up, to stew over the ideas he has that have yet to be realized, all with a safe mental distance from home. It’s through the many hardships he has experienced that has refined his wit and given it a place to practice, to be used.

When it comes down to it, Leona and Malleus are two sides of the same coin. Both arrogant princes, the second born and crown prince, respectively, wishing for the other’s circumstances. Leona desperately wants that respect and recognition that Malleus has. Malleus longs for the intimacy and camaraderie that Leona is so easily able to cultivate and command. Leona has been forced to adapt, to learn, to grow from his scars. Malleus struggles with the concept of change (understandable, given his background) and actively denies reality if he finds the truth to be unpleasant. He’s not used to facing dilemmas that cannot be solved with magical strength, and has not ever been challenged in such a way. Malleus doesn’t know how to deal with that, which is partly why be panics and loses himself to emotions in book 7. (By the end of it, I’m sure he’ll be given the chance to see the error of his ways though 💦 or at least I hope he does??)

Their characters are very different, and that’s not a bad thing!! If anything, it makes their dynamic so interesting to observe and it offers varying interpretations of the same “prince” trope. I definitely know which of the two I prefer 🤡

[seenoversundown]

For Death Or Glory : Chapter Eighteen

Jake Kiszka x Charlotte (Fem OC)

Warnings: Some vague spiritual mentions, VERY LIGHT spooky theme, yearning, pining (can you tell it's a jake chapter?) anxious themes, slightly tense conversation? (not an argument don't worry) fluff fluff fluff fluff, may cause butterflies, a lot of physical touch type of affection, and certainly important: Jake is the definition of 'if he wanted to, he would.'

Word Count: 6k 🤭 (couldn't stop yapping this chapter)

Summary: Jake has a cute little surprise for Charlotte, which is why he insisted on her spending the night.

Author's Note: FOLKS- this one is fucking cute. The words just kept flowing and I think we're at a point in the story where this is going to be a trend. (We're in the home stretch, which makes me want to cry, but also-there's just so much to say in the chapters, that I don't foresee them getting much shorter from here on out!) I can't wait to see how you feel at the end 🤭 ((I'm sorry in advance, don't yell at me))

Crystal - Stevie Nicks "Like the love that had finally, finally found me, Then I knew, In the crystalline knowledge of you."

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

God, it’s early. 

I managed to carefully slide out of bed without her waking up, which was already difficult because I wanted nothing more than just to stay curled up around her. But I need to be awake for a little bit before I surprise her today.

She told me when she was upset that her best friend and she had a tradition of going to Salem for her birthday every year. She wasn’t super into the spiritual side of things, but she loves Halloween, and with her birthday only being a few days before, she’s a bit biased. 

Unfortunately, this year, they never made it, and my heart shattered watching her tell me that the funeral was just a week prior to her birthday. I’ve never wanted just to squeeze someone harder than her at that moment.  When I had gone and talked to Josh, I had asked if he minded covering the bar that night because she was so upset and I didn’t have the heart to just.. let her be alone after that. But I told him that I would stop by the bar before I came home so I could talk to him about today. Thankfully, he was happy to take care of everything for the day, with the help of Danny. 

I sip on coffee as I figure out what I’m going to wear for the day, assuming that she will probably look nicer than my typical outfits. I know it doesn’t really matter what I’m wearing, but I want to make sure she has a good day and that I can manage not to look homeless sometimes. 

Grabbing a few things from my closet quietly, I sneak back out of my room so she can sleep for as long as possible. I drop them on the couch, deciding to really just go for it today. 

I pull my hair back into a bun, stealing a little more of Josh’s shaving cream, it’s not super grown in, but I may as well. Taking the time to make sure my face is clean-shaven before waking her. Remembering the fact she said I looked cute on Facetime after I shaved reluctantly, but if this is what she prefers, then I don’t mind.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I sit on the bed next to her, just watching her sleep for a minute. She’s curled up with my pillow, which she must have stolen when I left the room. I don’t want to wake her up; she looks so comfortable. 

Softly, I run my hand down the back of her head, and she doesn’t flinch at all. I gently scratched her back, hoping that the contact would help, but still, she didn’t budge. 

I lean down, kissing her temple and then whispering. “Hey you,” into her. Pressing slow, soft kisses into the side of her face. 

“Mmm..” her sleepy little groan made me laugh. 

Peppering a few more kisses against her cheek, mumbling, “Goodmorning.”

It takes her a minute, but she finally opens her eyes slightly and looks up at me. 

I whisper, “There she is.” 

“Why are you up?” She mumbles, reaching her arms out to me. Wrapping her up in a hug, she tucks her little face into me. Maybe we can just stay like this instead. 

“You should get dressed and come with me. I have a few things I need to do,” I tell her, hoping she’ll not fight it. 

“How dressed are we talking?” 

I sit up a little to look at her, “Um.. we’ll be like.. in public.. Does that help?” 

She touches my face, ignoring my answer, “Did you just shave?” 

“Mhm,” I respond, choking back a laugh. “Come on, sleeping beauty, don’t get distracted.” 

”Your face is soft,” she says quietly, as she’s running her hand down my cheek and holding my chin. 

“Just for you,” I giggle before leaning down and kissing her. “I have coffee for you, too.” 

“What are you up to?” She squints at me; there’s no way she’s figured it out already. 

My eyebrows pull together, “What do you mean?” 

“You’re being extra sweet this morning..” her voice trailing off. 

“Am I not allowed to be nice to you?” I laugh. “I can be mean if you’d prefer.”

She laughed with me this time, “I can’t even imagine that.” 

“I don’t think I could be mean to you if I tried.” I would never. ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

While she’s getting herself together, I pull on the outfit I had picked out earlier. Cuffing the bottom of my pants so they sit nicely with the boots I’m about to grab. Am I hoping that she’ll think I look nice? Maybe. Opening the drawer of my nightstand, the few rings that I have and my watch sit there. I slide on one of the rings and decide to actually wear my watch today. Staring at myself in the mirror, I feel like I look kind of put together? I don’t think I could tell you the last time I tried this hard with an outfit. 

I’m sitting on the couch, just scrolling through emails, when I hear her walking out of the bathroom. I glance up from my phone as she walks over to me. 

Her voice was so low when she finally let out, “Okay, I’m ready.”

I take her in, her sweater tucked into a little plaid skirt, leaving her legs on display even if they’re covered by black tights. Even with a coat over it, she looks so good. I just quietly stand up, still looking at her but unable to form words. 

“Oh,” she squeaks, looking me up and down. “You look cute.” 

“Hah, thank you,” I can’t shake the nerves from my voice when I say it. “You–” I hesitate, not even knowing how to compliment her at the moment. 

“I’m what?” 

“You just look,” I start, glancing down at her again. “Wow.” 

She giggles at me as I struggle to find words, “Stop it!” 

I shake my head as if it’ll help me refocus. I wasn’t prepared for her to be able to look like this on a whim. 

“Alright, you, let’s go.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Once we’re in the car, I hand her my phone, letting her pick whatever for music. I had already put an address into my maps, just to at least get me to Salem– assuming that she would have something picked out by the time we got there. We hardly make it to the turnpike before I feel her staring at me. 

“Jacob,” she pauses, “Where are we going?”

“Well,” I glanced over at her for a second. “You said you always went to Salem around your birthday and that you hadn’t gone this year because of everything going on so..” 

“Wait- really?” Her voice was small. 

I reach over, resting my hand on her thigh, “Mhm. I figured it’s not fair for you not to do anything for your birthday, and I’m sure you already know some things you like to do there.” 

She leans over the center console, kissing my cheek a few times before letting a small “thank you” squeak out. 

“Of course,” I can feel my face warm, squeezing her leg a few times.  Her hand holds my forearm gently, and the little bit of contact gives me butterflies. 

“I’m assuming you’ve been to Salem?”

“Not in a long time, so whatever you want to do will basically be new to me.” Her eyes light up, and she quickly grabs her phone. 

She’s quiet for a few minutes, just buried in her phone until she holds it out in front of me, “Loook! We could do this!”  I pull it closer so I can actually see; it’s a video of people getting their aura photos done. 

“We can, if you want,” I tell her. 

She’s precious; the way her face lights up when she’s excited makes me want to just give her everything and anything she wants. 

She spent a lot of the drive there finding little things that we could do and excitedly telling me about them. Even if I had to keep reassuring her that whatever she chose was fine. I don’t think she’s used to people doing things for her.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Her voice is quiet when she asks, “Can we get coffee?” as if she thinks I’ll say no.

“Mhm,” I hum back. “Just pick where from.” The way she gets shy asking for things makes me laugh to myself. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Mhmm,” I giggle, looking over at her. “Whatever you want, Char.” 

After finding the one she had decided on, I listened to her try and decide which drink she wanted to try; the way she was tied between the two made me laugh.

“Whichever one you get, I’ll get the other one,” I whisper to her. 

Her head whips over, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” 

“I don’t mind,” 

We finally move up to order; I make her go first so I can order the other drink she didn’t pick. Avoiding looking at her when I could almost feel the wind from how fast she snapped her neck to look at me. I pull out my wallet and quickly pay as her jaw slacks open, staring at me. 

“What?” 

“You just-” 

My eyebrows raise as she hesitates, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well,” her voice is low, looking at the ground for a second. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” I tell her, grabbing her hand and pulling her over to a table. “I’ll go grab the drinks; make yourself comfortable.”

I pull out my phone while I wait for our drinks to be made. Clicking on the app for our cameras, which I honestly don’t really look at often. I can just look real quick, so I don’t have to bug them. 

Switching between the few, everything seems normal, but I still feel compelled to check my texts. Nothing. 

Me: hey, if you need anything just let me know okay? 

Me: Also, daniel will be there around like 4pm so you won’t have to close alone

Josh: i know! don’t worry about us just go have fun with your lady! 

‘Jake’ gets called, and it pulls me out of my phone. I grab our drinks and wander back over to the table. Her hands reach out as soon as I get close to her; she’s almost vibrating with excitement over it. 

She sips on her drink, letting out little ‘mmm’s as she does. It’s unfair how adorable she is. Thankful that the drink I chose wasn’t terrible, I finally tried it, realizing that she had her eyes locked on me. 

“Here,” I hand her my drink, her eyes lighting up as she takes it from me. The fact she didn’t hesitate to sip on it gives me butterflies. You would think I’d never kissed her with the way my body reacts to basic things she does. 

Josh: do we have more downeast somewhere or is this it 

Josh: it’s not urgent just whenever you get a second 

Mel: do you want me to go in at all? I can just help out if you don’t want me to make drinks. 

‘Motion Detected’  notifications from Josh opening the bar sit on my lock screen. 

“Hey,” she says, bringing me back to reality. Her hand reaching up and tapping in between my eyebrows lightly, “What’s going on?” 

“Just have a bunch of texts from Josh about the bar,” I tell her, trying not to let my eyebrows pull back together. 

Her eyes look between mine as we sit there, “Everything is going to be fine. Danny won’t let the bar burn down.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I tell her, sliding my phone into my pocket. “Where would you like to go first?”

“Do you want to see some of the witch trial sites?” She asks.  “Or is it too spooky for you?” Followed with a slight giggle as she looked at me. 

“Oh, don’t start with me,” I laugh before deciding to tease her back. “I’ll hold your hand if you get too scared, though.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I can tell she really enjoys it here because she can just glance at her maps and then know where to wander off to. She really seems in her element getting to bring me to all these sites. Almost makes me wonder if this is what they would do every year. Telling me about everything that happened in each of the spots. She made sure to point out little details that she really enjoyed. 

My phone has vibrated a few times, and I’m genuinely fighting demons, trying not to look at what it is. Everything is fine. Dan is there. It’s okay. I spend a minute trying to shake the thought and refocus on her as we walk through a little bit of the cemetery. 

“Not too scared yet, are you?” she taunts. 

A slight grin sneaks onto my face, “And what if I was?” 

“Oooohhh, poor baby,” she teases me further, her hand running over my cheek. I know she’s trying to be funny, but hearing her call me ‘baby’ makes my knees weak. The way her lips pouted when she said it also made me wish I could just kiss her freely. 

“I offer to hold your hand, and you just make fun of me?” I let out dramatically. “I see how it is.” Hearing her laugh is worth having to be a bit dramatic. I pout my lip out at her as she giggles at me. 

“I’d take it back,” She starts. “But, you’re cute when you do this.” She taps my bottom lip gently, and I can’t stop the grin that forms when she does. Maybe I am scared. 

“Where else do you want to show me? Or are we just trying to pick up some spirits to bring home with us?” 

She finds a few that she hadn’t been to in a while, leading the way. I would gladly follow her around even if she were lying to me about every single thing. She kept touching my arm when she would tell me things, and it was taking everything in me to stay calm about it. It’s not that deep, Jake. Chill out. I try to tell myself, and then she tells me the history of the next place, and her hand lingers on my bicep for a minute, which makes all the hair on my body stand. 

I can feel my phone vibrating in my pocket as we walk to another spot that she’s excited about. It’s not important. They have everything under control. I try to ignore the feeling and focus on her. But the incessant vibration against my leg is making it difficult. 

Bzzt.

Bzzt.

Bzzt.

For fucks sake, what could be happening? 

I pull out my phone for what feels like the thousandth time, seeing a handful of notifications sitting there. 

Josh: imagine I just get super drunk because it’s slow!! 

Josh: i’m so kidding 

Josh: or am I? the world will never know.

Danny: Please just ignore Josh. He’s cackling like a witch behind the bar so I know he’s being a little shit. 

Josh (in the Caravel Chat) : Hear me out- We just close early today for fun!

Sam: why is josh asking me to come help him lol 

Quinn: Did you leave Josh alone at the bar? 

Danny: Everything is fine I swear.

Sam: actually if you pay me for the night, i’ll do it 

Staring at all the texts that have come in, I can’t fight the way my hand rubs over my face. As I’m trying to decide what to respond to first, I feel her hand grab my arm. 

“Babe,” she says, squeezing me gently. My heart is simultaneously pounding at her casual pet name but also aches at the look on her face. Get off your phone, you dumbass. 

Locking my phone and shoving it into my pocket, I look back at her, “I’m so sorry.”

She gently grabs my chin, forcing me to look at her, “I think it’s wonderful how much you care about your job, but they can handle it.” 

“No, no, you’re right. I’m still sorry, and I promise I’ll stop,” comes out a bit sadder sounding than I expected. She leans up, placing a kiss on my cheek. 

“It’s okay,” she says quietly, “I just want you to have fun too.” 

“I am,” I whisper. “Come on, the aura photos are calling our names.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

I pull open the door to the little shop that offers the photos, letting her excitedly go in first. She doesn’t go far, just waiting for me to come in with her. There’s someone already talking to the girl working there, so we just wander around looking at the selection of crystals and stones they have. She’s kept herself close to me while I pick up random crystals to look at them closer. Is she nervous? She has such a strong personality when it comes to her job, which I know is part of the gig for her, but it’s interesting to see how she acts when she doesn’t have to be in charge. The fact she has been attached to me from the moment we walked in is throwing me off. 

Hearing the door chimes ring, the girl behind the counter glances over at us. 

“Hi! Did you have any questions?” her voice was bubbly. 

I feel her gently tap my arm, seeing her stare at me from the corner of my eye. I have to fight the laugh when I realize she wants me to ask.

“Actually, yes,” I start. “Is there any chance we can get our aura photos done?” 

“Oh, absolutely!” She says. “Did you want individual ones?” 

“Please,” I tell her. “If you have time, obviously.” 

She laughs boisterously, “Lucky for the two of you– after Halloween, we die off so quickly! I have so much time; I don’t know what to do with myself.” 

She brings us to the area they have set up, explaining the process and how it works before having Charlotte sit down first. She’s so graceful as she gets situated. So, she carefully made sure her hands were in the right place after adjusting her hair a few times. The girl working here was so friendly and was talking her through it to help make sure that she was relaxed, so she got an authentic reading. 

I don’t know what it is about her that is so incredibly captivating, but the entire time, I can’t look away from her. I stand far enough out of the way that she can’t see me, but all I can think is– she is effortlessly beautiful. The feeling I get when I look at her scares me; my heart races, and the way my stomach turns. The witch trial sites could never compare. 

It only takes a few minutes before we’re swapping spots. She, on the other hand, stays within eyeshot for me. Doing everything I can to focus on the employee and not her, I feel myself calm down a bit. The girl leans down to take the photo, and I can see Charlotte in my peripheral. With the soft smile on her face, as she watches, I find myself unable to hold back the full smile as I hear the shutter of the camera.

“If you want, I can give you guys a little explanation of what your colors mean!” The girl offers, and we have the time to kill, so we obviously take her up on the offer. 

  We follow her back up to the counter, where she slides both of our photos over to us. My eyes go to her right away; our colors are not the same at all. 

“Ladies first,” the girl says, nudging Char’s photo forward a bit. “You have quite a bit of red in here, dear. Red typically represents a passionate, intense, loyal person. Depending on the shade of red, it can also have some romantic representations as well.” 

I glance over as Charlotte is just beaming at this girl while she explains. “You also have a little bit of a deeper purple in there, which means you may have something that is bothering you. Some sort of obstacle that you need to overcome.” 

Oh no. My hand finds hers, lightly tapping just to let her know I’m still there. She so softly wraps her hand around my index finger, squeezing a few times, almost like a ‘thank you.’

“And now for you,” the girl taps my photo forward. “You have majority green, which is usually characterized by the person’s nurturing disposition. You embody compassion and understanding. Since yours is also more of a mint green, you must be someone who just radiates peace and serenity to those around you.”

Charlotte’s soft laugh, “Sounds about right.”

“You’re obviously welcome to look up more about the meanings behind the colors! I just figured I would give you a baseline of what they mean,” she tells us.

“No, thank you so much for that, actually,” Charlotte finally chimes in.

The girl chuckles as she runs my card for everything, looking at me as she hands it back, “You know it’s kinda cute; your aura colors complement each other well.” Shooting me a wink as she glances down at the photos. Why is she trying to torture me?

There’s no way my face isn’t a little red at her comment, and then I glance over at her; the subtle pink in her cheeks makes me feel less insane. But is she just embarrassed, or is she into that? 

“Thank you again,” I tell her as we go to leave, pushing the door open for Charlotte to go out first.  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“Where to next?” 

Her excitement is palatable, “Oooo, I have an idea!” 

I watch her as she leads me to another little shop that she likes to look through. My heart feels.. different as I watch her. Seeing her get excited over these things that she looks forward to year after year, the way she just beams back at me like I’m the one who founded this town. She keeps holding my hand, and even when she lets go to show me something, she always finds her way back to it. She walks so close that she bumps into me constantly. Okay so.. I have a crush on her.. But how could I not? 

Her sweet face when she turns to me with something that she’s found. I don’t know what’s worse, the soft sparkle in her eyes or trying to focus on anything beyond how perfectly painted her freckles are over her nose. Her little voice every time, ‘Jacob look!’ she would whisper, made me laugh to myself. 

“Do you want it?” I whisper after she’s shown me just about everything in the store. 

And she’s suddenly shy again. 

“No, no, it’s just cute,” she tries to backpedal. 

I take the dainty chain bracelet from her, “It’s very cute.” Inspecting it closer, knowing I’m going to just hold onto it even if she tries to fight me on it. She can’t just show me a million things and think I’m not going to offer to get one of them, at the very least, for her.

I go to set the bracelet back in its place, “Do you want to keep looking around?”

She nods quickly, grabbing my free hand gently. As soon as she turns her head, I pull the bracelet back to me, keeping it tucked in my hand so she doesn’t see it. 

We spent a few more minutes wandering around with her, continuing the same routine of finding something she liked and turning to show me. 

“We can go,” her soft voice rings as we’re walking towards the front. 

I look over at her, fighting the urge to smile, “Give me like two minutes.” 

Walking up to the counter, I hand the bracelet to the employee, knowing there’s no way she isn’t going to notice. Her hand tightened around mine as they dropped the bracelet into a little paper bag, handing it over to me with my receipt. 

Tugging her behind me as we leave, I turn to her, holding out the bag, “For you.” 

“You’re so–” She starts, but pouting her lip when she’s stumped for words. “Thank you, babe.” 

Please just keep calling me that. If I thought her pet naming me woud be bad, I was severely unprepared. 

“Can you help me?” She sweetly asks, holding up the ends of the bracelet to me. 

I grab them from her, and she holds out her wrist for me. Something about the motion of clasping this little chain on her feels like time has slowed. The look on her face, her skin is so soft, and the dainty bracelet looks so perfect on her. I turn it around to see the little charm that’s on it, just holding her wrist for a second. ‘Crush’ may not be the word anymore.   ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

We spent a little while wandering in and out of shops throughout the little street. As we walk further, the iconic Witch House comes into view. A giant black house with three distinct peaks in the roof, it’s hard to miss, but she still points it out to me. 

“Ooooh! We used to take cute pictures in front of it every year.” 

“Are you saying that you want a picture?”

“Maybe,” She grabs my hand, tugging me along with her. She pulls her phone from her bag, and I reach my hand out, thinking that she just wants me to take it. “No, come here.” 

She pulled me close to her and reached out to take a picture of us. She wants.. a picture of the two of us? My arm wraps around her waist gently as she tucks herself into me; she beams at the camera; her smile could light up a room at this moment. 

“You better show off those teeth, Jacob,” she says, making me chuckle to myself. Smiling but looking at her, I can see her clicking the shutter button out of the corner of my eye. 

“Um, do you guys want me to take one for you?” a stranger quietly interjects as they’re passing by. 

“Oooh, yes!” she quickly hands them her phone. Okay, we’re doing this now, haha, that’s so fine. 

She comes back to me, leaning into my side and letting her hand rest on my stomach. Oh, uh.  My arm pulls her into me, and my hand sits on her lower back; I can feel her staring at me, so I glance over. Her lips pulled into the cutest smile; I swear she could feel my heart pounding. Her eyes dropped to my mouth and then back up, making me fully smile at her. 

“Perfect,” she whispers as she looks over at the person, but I don’t want to stop looking at her. I force my head to turn away from her. I looked over to the camera and felt her leaning against me slightly. It takes two seconds before they start walking back over with her phone. She clicks on her camera roll, quickly swiping through them and thanking the person for helping. She turns to me as she looks through them again. 

“Stop, this one’s so cute,” she turns it to me. They caught me looking at her.. We look like a couple; my stomach tenses at the thought. I... Watching as she sends me a bunch of them, taking a second to favorite a couple of them so she doesn’t lose them. “Oh wait, this one too!”  The one moment of her looking at me, her hand sitting on my stomach and full teeth smile on display, looking right at her– my heart flutters at the sight of it. I hadn’t considered how we look together.. from someone else’s point of view. I look like I’m in lo—.

She cuts me off, “Do you want to get some food? I don’t know how late you planned on being here, but at least then, we aren’t starving on the drive home.”

“Um, yeah, we probably should,” I stumble over my words for a second. “Was there somewhere you had in mind?” ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

We wandered around for a bit trying to decide what we wanted. It probably would have gone quicker if we focused and weren’t talking about all the things in the window displays as we passed them. But the way she hardly let go of my hand the entire time, I wasn’t about to stop her from doing whatever it is she wanted. 

We almost walked past the restaurant she decided that she wanted to try, but I think if you looked hard enough, you would have seen the smoke from how fast she hit the brakes when she realized it was next to us. It was a treat for me to see her so.. joyful. 

The server dropping off our drinks and taking our order, we have time to just stare at each other and I listen to her tell me how she’s been looking at this place on instagram for a while. 

I finally ask, “Was this a good surprise at least?” 

“Are you kidding? Of course it was,” she said, leaning forward with a sweet little grin on her lips. 

“I know it’s not the same, but—“ 

She stops me quickly, “If I didn't think she’d hear me, I’d say it might be even better.“ Don’t tell me that. 

“I don’t know about that,” 

“Hey,” she almost scolds me. “It was very sweet of you– no but’s allowed.” 

I giggle at the tone of her voice, knowing she would absolutely yell at me if I kept going. The server dropped off our food quietly as we kept talking about the little things we saw today. She kept asking what I liked most, and I couldn’t be honest because it was just getting to be with her.  She told me about how she and Cass would always try to find new things every year, but they also just enjoyed wandering through the same historical sites because it was just interesting to see. 

“Are you still panicking over the bar?” She asks, scooting her plate away from her. 

It hits me that I’ve been distracted enough that I hadn’t even looked at my phone. 

“Actually.. I hadn’t thought about it,” I tell her. 

She fakes a gasp at me, “Well, look at that.”

“Growing up so fast,” I giggle.  Or it could be the fact I spent the whole day getting to watch a beautiful girl smile at me for bringing her here. 

“Proud of you,” she whispers with her foot grazing my leg. 

She’s absolutely killing me. 

Our server came over with our bill, and I had just held my hand out for the little black folder. I slid my card in without hesitation and handed it back to them. I quietly let out a small ‘Thank you’ as they took the small folder away from me. I look back over to her, and the pink tint to her cheeks is more noticeable than I’m sure she’d like. What is she blushing over? 

“You okay?” 

“Mhm,” she hums back.

“You sure?” 

“Yes,” she laughs. “..just you.” 

The server comes back with the folder, taking my card out. I can feel her stare as she watches me sign the receipt and slide cash into the folder for their tip. I look up at her and softly ask, “You ready?” Letting her lead the way out, my hand found its place on her lower back, trying to keep her close to me. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

“It’s so cute here when it’s dark out,” she says as she’s looking at all the shops lit up now that the sun is set. 

I just watch her take everything in, the pure joy on her face, and my heart feels like it’s melting for the hundredth time today. She slides her hand into mine, leaning into my arm and wrapping her free hand over my bicep as we walk. What is she doing? 

“Thank you for everything today,” She squeaks out. 

I look over, placing a kiss on the side of her head, “You’re very welcome.” 

She stops walking, tugging my arm lightly. I turn around to face her when she closes the gap between us. Tilting her head back slightly as she leans into my chest, leaving a few sweet kisses against my lips. 

“I’ve been waiting for that all day,” she mumbles into me. She’s been waiting? I COULD HAVE DONE THAT SOONER?

“I’m sorry, hun,” I mumble back. “I’ll just have to make up for it now.” Earning the biggest smile out of her, making me laugh at how eager she just got. 

“In that case,” she laughs, wiggling herself out of my arms but grabbing my hand instead. “Let’s go, baby!” 

After a lovely little walk filled with giggles and a few more pit stops that she insisted on just to give me a kiss, we finally made it to the car. I can see her trying to readjust to be more comfortable, moving her legs around every which way. 

I look over at her, letting out a small ‘hey’ before patting my leg. I reach over, carefully grabbing her ankles and pulling her legs out over my lap. We sit in the comfortable quiet for a bit, whatever song she’s chosen playing softly while she just looks through her phone. My hand hasn’t left her since I moved her legs. Rubbing little circles on her ankle or just sliding up the side of her foot. Anything to keep some sort of contact, and she doesn’t seem to mind. 

She reaches over, lightly running her fingertips over my cheek. It’s hard not to smile at it; she’s so fucking cute. 

“Your face is still so soft,” she giggles. 

“I wanted to look nice,” I admit. 

She rebuttals quickly, “You always look nice.” 

“Mmm,” I start. “But standing next to you all day, I wanted to make sure I at least looked half as good as you.”  ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The drive home felt short in comparison, but the lack of anxiety I felt this time probably helped. We immediately head up to the apartment, surprisingly avoiding the bar.

“Sooo..” I start, keeping my voice low as I sneak up behind her, sliding my arms around her waist. “The bar doesn’t close for a couple more hours..” 

She twists around in my arms to face me, “Jacob, you’re not about to go to work right now.”

“That wasn’t my thought, but thank you for that,” I let out in the most monotone voice. 

“Oh! Are you turning a new leaf already? One day of me pestering you to stop working is all it took?” She teases me with a little smirk plastered on her face. 

“You really don’t have to make fun of me,” I say, letting my hands settle on her hips. “But, yes— maybe it helped.“

Her hands held the sides of my face, “It is nice to just enjoy you outside of the bar.” 

I mumble back, “Is that so?” 

“Mhm,” Her body leans into me. “I don’t have to share you with anyone else this way.” You’re not sharing me in there either, trust me. 

“Are you trying to say you want more attention?”  I question her. 

“From you? Absolutely,” her voice is so sexy; my body feels like it’s on fire. I want quite literally nothing more than to do that.

Pulling her into me, I whisper, “What kind of attention do you want, hun?” 

“Mmmm…” She hums, before her head tilts slightly and with a delicious little smile on her lips. And then she whispers, “You’re full of surprises today; why don’t you decide, babe?” 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Nineteen

FDOG Master Post | Masterlist | Playlist

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[whatevertheweather]

Hi hello. I miss y'all. That is my own fault but it's still true, and I'm writing this on saturday night and feeling maudlin about how wonderful and talented and dear this fandom is and how I never join in anymore, so I'm making my little post okay.

I'm going with Musical Chairs again because it's so far past time for that to be done. And I've said this before, but it is approaching done. And I'm gonna get into that, but it'll all be behind the scenes rambling, so it's below the cut, and for those who don't want to delve that far, here is some freshly written Penny POV.

“Ah,” Shepard smiled, “a good deed wasn’t motive enough on its own?” “Not when it’s for a stupid reason.” “What is your un-stupid reason?” “Un-stupid?” Penny repeated. She turned resolutely to her drink. “Nevermind. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” “Hey now,” Shepard said, ducking into her line of sight. “You struck me as someone who prefers being honest.” It was a job not to smile at that, but Penny put the work in.

Now for the mess.

It's a good mess I think. I have a new section in my miscellany document, tucked in between nine (9) sections of ramblings and cut scenes, and the new section is called "we got it this time boys," and I think it's right. I've written a full draft of the scene that's been holding us all back. It's there in its entirety, it just needs to be edited. And I'm so scared to reread it, because every time I think I got this scene right I come back and it's wrong. Which I've decided to be fine with, because so what!!! So what if I got 36k right and there's 5k that doesn't quite hit the way I want it to!!! The earth will keep spinning!!!

Anyway, "we got it this time boys" is 3 pages of what is technically kind of an outline for 5 pages of story, and every time I read the header it's in the voice of someone from some black-and-white hardboiled detective noir, which brings me the joy that might be the only reason I feel I've gotten it right in the first place. The outline is all written about as cohesively as it starts:

I think maybe, and gosh haven’t I said this a million times, I just need to stop trying to go that way. Stop trying to go any way. Like always “how do I get them to this moment” instead of “what would they do in this situation.” Unfortunately, the latter requires I connect with them on a level I’m not sure I can right now. But I guess let’s try. Actually let’s go for a walk, I can see the sun setting on the top of the house across the way and it’s lovely. Okay nice, it was lovely. Relaxing, refreshing. Saw a stump that looked like a beaver. Saw a cat. Thought of the opening to something I’m never going to write. So anyway,

It also sort of ends with:

Oh shit came up on an obstacle immediately. [Redacted]. This does not actually open the door for Baz to say something that can incite “[Redacted].” Fuck god okay whoops already going completely back on all I’ve decided and thinking maybe we could keep some of the new exchange I’d written, maybe he does reveal the ugh no stop I hate this. Just figure out a transition to bring in [...], what would Baz say to that other than what I’ve written him saying to that which doesn’t work for what I’m trying to do. I guess it could just be, like…he murmurs incorrigible. Or something. With a raised brow, a la baz. Sure let’s do that, however, I’ve laid down to do this and learned I’m actually quite sleepy, so let’s do it another time. Hopefully I don’t come up on another immediate problem and despair. Just remember not to start combining things and rereading things yet, okay. Please.

This would be alarming if I hadn't already gotten past this point and written the thing. So I'm going to go into editing it with the mindset that nothing substantial shall change and boohoo to me if I want it to, and once that's done we're pretty much home free.

Now tags.

Gonna dip a toe back into being melancholy and wistful about this fandom k, I really do miss it even though I'm the only one keeping me out. You're all my friends even if that is a surprise for you to hear because we haven't talked in months or maybe ever, but I love each and every one of you x

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[goodluckclove]

Why Are You a Writer?

So the other day I did the second of my Writer's Refuge interview series, soon to be posted later this week. It went pretty well! It was with an artist on here I admire a lot and it was a really interesting conversation.

Perhaps even too interesting. We got onto the topic on why a person would tell stories, and their answer ended up being drastically different than mine. It ended up sending my on a little bit of a spiral (No fault of yours if you read this, Cass), but I didn't really talk about it with her at the time. You know, it's an interview. It's not about me.

My instinct when I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable is to sort of hide away most of the time, but it's a sleepy day in the Gardener household and I think it might help me to talk about it. So below the read more I'm going to get deeper into the question often asked to people in my trade: why are you a writer?

Spoiler alert: it's because I'm lonely.

No real gravitas or dramatics there, I don't think. Little actual literary merit. I've heard people say that they're writers because they're overtaken by stories, just a vessel to the act of creation that can't help but craft narratives. I think that's cool in theory, and it's something I relate to, but I also think it's a mind type that doesn't exist in a vacuum.

I grew up a child of addicts with about a five and eight-year age gap between me and the rest of my siblings. We were conditioned to be deeply loyal to each other and care in the way our parents couldn't care for us, but most of the time my siblings didn't want to play with me. My parents didn't want to play with me. I had a few friends at school, but not many of them were able to hang out with me outside of campus for one reason or another. Throughout my developmental years I spent a majority of my time on my own, just figuring out different ways to entertain myself.

And I felt a fundamental other-ing from the rest of the people around me. I was precocious, considered "mature for my age" (a poison adults have been feeding the youth for generations), but it went deeper than that. I would speak quickly to my peers, joking almost frantically without letting them get a word in edgewise. It felt like they all knew a common language I was never able to learn and never could. At one point in middle school I told myself I was better than them. i don't think that anymore. Now I'm just confused.

As an adult I'm often confused by other people, sometimes to the point of fear. I struggle to stay afloat in large social situations, to look charming and keep the other person placated and talking, making sure they don't realize the fundamental truth that I'm not supposed to be there. Sometimes it gets to the point where I'm so exhausted that I physically can't look at human faces for hours afterwards. They all look like fleshy slugs.

Does that make sense? I say that a lot in conversation with those around me, a constant plea for validation. Am I making sense?

So I write. I write a lot. With no other line of work at the moment I've been writing about 60k words every month for the better part of the last year. And I do it to tell a story I'm passionate about, sure. I do it to process emotional ghosts from my past. But if I'm being honest with myself I know I write to create a connection between myself and the audience. To create a story that someone can read or watch and say "I understand", even if their interpretation is different than my own.

I do it because I'm lonely. And I'm not really proud of that. But it's the truth.

Riley was surprised when I told them this. So are you saying that if you were happy you wouldn't be a writer? They asked. Well, I am happy. I'm also lonely. These two things can exist at once.

But if I had a different life. A more functional family system that would've likely resulted in me needing far less treatment than I currently do. If all that was the case then I might not see the need to be deeply embedded in my own head. The rest of the world might not come off as the threat it sometimes is. But then again, my life and my identity would be so drastically different that I don't really see the point in speculating.

Would I be a writer? Maybe. I don't know. I'd probably have other hobbies.

I don't usually like talking about myself like this. It feels indulgent. A little too skin-less for my tastes. But, as with anything else, maybe someone younger and in a similar state could read me talking in this way and feel an aspect of comfort. If one person does then that would be worth it. I'm glad I'm a writer and I think I'm a capable one. I'm also aware that being a capable writer doesn't necessarily mean you're also deeply neurotic, which is both a comfort and a small point of envy.

If you've read to this point - which, by the way, is an oddity of cosmic proportions to me, maybe reblog and speak a bit about how you became a writer. But maybe be a little honest with yourself. If it comes from a deep well of pain, that's meaningful. If you just want to create a powerful story that people can lose themselves in, that's also meaningful.

You don't need to suffer to be a good artist. That's absolutely not something I believe to any extent. I'm just one of the ones that did, and that's something I'm going to have to work out over the course of the next rest of my life.

I don't know. I'm rambling. Maybe it can be your turn to talk now.

[asshlyyyy]

Christmas

Fic Warnings: Mentions of possible miscarriage. Pregnancy, swearing I'm pretty sure...? If not, disregard this warning. Mentions of being sick, being sick, vomiting. There may be spelling and grammatical errors. Author's note at the end. Please let me know if I missed any warnings! Thank you!

Note: This could be read as a stand alone or as a part two to Thanksgiving!

Masterlist | Previous Part

You walked up to the front door and turned the handle opening up the door. You two never really bothered to lock the door since you were behind the gates. You only really locked it at night. You placed your car keys off to the side, away from Elvis’ cause lord knows he doesn’t know which key belongs to which car. You closed the door behind you and started to take off your coat. 

“Mama!” Your son’s voice filled your ears.

“Hi my sweet son,” You smiled and hung the coat up. You walked over to him and picked him up from the floor, Elvis was just sitting a few feet away from you. 

You had just come back from your doctor’s appointment to check on the baby. Elvis wanted to come with, but someone had to watch Theodore. You also couldn’t bring him because he doesn’t do the best in new places.

“How’d it go?” Elvis asked as he got up and made his way over to you. 

“It went well, he just told me to be careful.” You responded with a smile as you looked up at him. 

“So nothing bad?” He questioned as he placed his arm around you. You let out a hum and shook your head. 

“No, he just thinks it might be stress because of the holidays.” You responded as you kissed your son's head, holding him close to your chest. 

“Okay,” Elvis nodded and kissed the side of your head, offering to take your purse. Which you happily gave him. You sat down on the couch and just held your son close. You looked down at your belly and frowned lightly. 

For how far along you were, you were growing big. With Theo, you carried him small, but it looks like this baby wants more room. You knew that with each pregnancy you were bound to grow weight, it’s natural. Not only because of the baby but also because of how our body works. You were good at keeping control of it. 

“What are we doing for Christmas?” You asked as you looked over towards Elvis who was picking up the toys off the ground. 

“I think we were going to host again?” Elvis looked at you with a questioning expression. 

“We can, we would just have to go to the store. We just don't have ham or anything.” You explained to him as you rubbed Theo’s back gently.

“I can send someone out. The stores are probably crazy right now.” You nodded lightly at his response. Your heart felt… sad. It felt empty almost.

“Can you put him down for his nap?” You asked as you looked at the sleepy boy on your chest. 

“Yeah of course,” Elvis said as he took Theodore out of your arms. You mumbled a thank you and watched as he walked away. Elvis knew something was wrong the moment you walked inside. He just didn’t know how much truth you told him. 

You lay down on the couch and pulled the blanket down onto your body. You cuddled into the blanket and reached for the book that was on the coffee table. It was one of your sons, but it was a story either way. It was the story of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Did it give your son a light scare at first? Yes, but once he learned that the Grinch doesn’t come unless you are extra bad, he was okay. 

You actually had a lot of Dr. Suess books. In fact, you got Theodore the two that came out this year for his present. How you opted to do Christmas was that Santa gave the essentials, the ‘boring’ stuff some may call. He may give a toy here and there, but the fun stuff comes from the parents. You didn’t want him to see you guys as boring. To some kids, books may be a boring gift, but he loves to look at the pictures. He was still too young to read, but he liked to point at everything and ask, wha?

You heard Elvis as he began to walk down the stairs. His shoes hit rough against the carpeted stairs. Which bothered you to no extent. You wanted to keep a clean house. He would then argue that it was the maid’s job to vacuum and clean the floors. Some nonsense really.

“He’s all put down and- you’re reading one of his books?” Elvis questioned as he placed the white baby monitor down on the coffee table.

“It was the only thing nearby,” you replied simply. However, just on the opposite end near the lamp sat a copy of the holy bible. Maybe you were just in your feels and didn’t want a hard book to read. Nonetheless, something was wrong.

“All right, tell me what happened,” Elvis spoke as he appeared back into the living room. You tore your eyes away from the book and looked over at him. 

“I told you what happened.” You said, returning your gaze back to the book. Not really wanting to have this conversation. 

“And I know that there is more than what you told me.” Elvis came to the couch. He moved your legs out of the way and quickly sat down, resting your legs on his lap. You let out a sigh and looked over at him. You closed the book and laid it down in your lap.

“He said if I’m not careful I can lose the baby,” you spoke softly. You didn’t even wanna say those words out loud. It would just make it feel more real, and you felt your eyes start to water up. 

“Hey hey,” Elvis’ tone softened. “What? Why would he say that?”

“You know how I went because of a pain? That I felt… really sick.” You brought up as you wiped away your slight tears before things got too crazy.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“He says it isn’t normal to be really sick during pregnancy. Sure morning sickness is normal but… with the sickness and overworking myself. He basically bedridden me.” You explained to him, humming to the feeling of Elvis rubbing his hand up and down your leg. 

“We’ll get through this together okay?” He tried to reassure you, but you both knew deep down the Colonel would pull him away to film some random movie. The two of you repositioned yourselves and your back laid against his chest. His hand rested on your small bump and rubbed slight circles against it.

You played the rest of the day safe. Once your son woke up from his nap you played some games with him before one of the maids started dinner. You felt bad keeping them from their family, but you sent most of them home already. Only two decided to stay and you were thankful. 

Everyone was tucked away in bed before you knew it. Of course not until after you left out milk and cookies for Santa, which Elvis was gonna have to eat and drink later. Along with putting the carrots back in the fridge. He also had you write Santa a little note. Asking for some last-minute items, even though you told him it was too late. Theo argued his case and won.

Christmas Day came sooner than you expected. Well, three in the morning kind of soon. You sat on the floor near the toilet. Everything you had eaten at dinner down the drain of the toilet. It wasn’t just morning sickness anymore. This baby was just… taking everything out of you. So, you sat there until you were able to push yourself up.

Elvis was still sound asleep. He had these moments where he would be either a heavy sleeper or a really light sleeper. Today was one of those heavy nights. You rinsed your mouth out with some water and popped a mint before heading back to bed. You didn’t expect him to wake up every single time. Someone needed rest to watch after Theodore, and Elvis was just more capable of that.

Despite not being able to do much, you knew damn well that you were going to dress up for the holidays. So, as you walked down the grand white staircase, you heard laughter and voices coming from the living room. You steadied yourself on the railing and put on your bravest smile. 

Truth be told, you woke up and just didn’t want to move. And this is after the hour you had awake between three and four. Maybe you shouldn’t have ever moved since your doctor bedridden you. To say the least, you were grateful for your maids was an understatement. They would be the ones cooking and cleaning until this baby comes. Without them, you didn’t know how your baby would survive, not off of Elvis’ cooking that’s for damn sure.

You reached the bottom of the stairs and heard your baby boy’s voice announcing your arrival. “Mama!” He squealed in happiness. He got up on his feet and made his way over to you.

“Hi my sweet boy,” you said and reached down picking him up. You pressed multiple kisses on his cheek and made your way into the living room. “Look how beautiful you look, Y/n,” your mother complimented you.

“Thank you, mama,” you said with a smile. Though, you doubted you even looked that beautiful. No amount of makeup or pretty dresses will hide the fact that you weren’t feeling well.

Elvis got up from his place on the couch and offered you his seat, which you gladly accepted. “So honey, is there a reason you’re not cooking today?” Your mother questioned.

“Oh, I’m just not feeling that well today, so Janice is holding down the kitchen,” you said with a small smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that dear,” your mother responded. You replied with a smile node and reached over for Elvis’s hand. 

“I believe we were gonna open up presents before dinner, right darlin’?” Elvis looked over at you, seeing if that was still the schedule.

“Yes,” you nodded. “With everything planned out after dinner, Theo should fall asleep at his normal time.” You further explained looking over at your family. 

“What about your father, Elvis? Isn’t he joining us?” Your mother asked with her sweet-toned southern accent. 

“Unfortunately not, that b-“ Elvis quickly coughed to cover up what he almost accidentally said. “That wife of his has him over at their place celebrating. I think she’s still mad about Thanksgiving.” 

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that son,” your father said. Elvis smiled softly at him as a way to express gratitude. 

“Shall we exchange gifts then? I know Theo must be dying to rip them open,” she let out a chuckle. Everyone joined in with her. You tickled Theo’s stomach and watched as he erupted in a fit of giggles. 

“Let’s have him pick?” Elvis suggested, though it sounded like he was asking for permission. He wanted to be careful with what he said, he didn’t want to cause you any stress. 

“Of course,” you responded and placed Theo down on the floor. At first, Theo just sat down, but with some encouragement from his family. He made his way over to the tree. 

You had to arrange some things around, but you placed the tree where the grand white piano is. You, more like you had Elvis, move the piano back so that you could fit the tree. You always thought it looked nicest there. 

Theo looked around trying to figure out what to grab first. Should he go for something big or something small? You just thought he was lost and confused about what to do. He was only two after all. Elvis kneeled down and placed his hand on your son’s back.

“How about we check the stockings? See if Santa filled them with some candy and toys,” your fiancé encouraged the young boy. Theo nodded excitedly at the sound of Santa, toys, and candy. 

You watched your boys make their way over to the fireplace and Elvis pulled down the stocking. He wanted it to Theo and you watched as he started to pull things out one by one. You hummed softly and leaned back, and nuzzled into the blanket that was thrown around you. 

Gifts took… an awfully long time. It was just, that every time Theo opened something he had to play with it right away. It would take anywhere from a minute, to five to get him to open up another present. Not to mention the tears he would shed because he couldn’t play with his toy. It was… a very emotional roller coaster.  

“I actually have one more gift to give,” your father spoke up as he stood up. “I think you’ll be very happy with it.” He looked at you as he said it. You looked at him confused and pulled yourself away from Elvis’ shoulder. 

“I found it the other day when I was cleaning out the attic,” your father explained as he pulled up a box that was hidden from your eyesight. 

“What is it?” You questioned as he placed the box in your hands. 

“Open it and you’ll see.” You rolled your eyes playfully at him and opened the box. You froze when you saw the old ragged, yet somehow in perfect condition, stuffed bunny staring up at you.

You lifted the bunny carefully and continued to stare at it. “Is this Miffy?” You asked as you looked over at your father. 

“It is, I thought… maybe you could pass her down to your baby once they are born.” You smiled softly at his answer and nodded. 

You got Miffy when you were a young girl. You would wear your pretty dresses and run around the yard. She slept by your side every night. Then she became a decoration on your dresser, and then soon she was placed in the attic. You never thought you would see her again, let alone in such great condition.

“I cleaned and fixed her up,” your mother spoke to you. 

“Thank you, this… this means a lot to me.” You started to tear up. You and your goddamn pregnancy emotions. You were quick to wipe your eyes and soon picked up your boy from the ground. 

The fear of losing your baby just kept coming back to you. You didn’t mean to think about it, but… seeing Miffy, and your dad suggesting giving her to your baby once they’re born. It brought that fear that if you are not careful enough, they’ll die. 

You held Theodore close and excused yourself from your family. You pulled on your coat and boots and walked outside. “Mama, oday?” Theodore looked at you worried as he snuggled closer under your coat. 

“Yes, mama is okay.” You replied softly and kissed the top of his head. 

Don’t stress over this.

The more stress, the more likely you’ll have a miscarriage.

Happy thoughts, Y/n, happy thoughts.

“Hey baby, everything okay?” You heard your mother’s voice. You turned your head and spotted her behind her fluffy coat. 

“Yeah, just got a bit emotional, is all,” you gave her a sad smile.

“May I offer some advice?” She asked gently. You nodded slowly and looked at her, your hand rubbing your son’s back. 

“You’re gonna face rough pregnancies every so often. At the end of the day, when you are holding your baby close to your chest… that is when it all matters. It may seem rough, and like your life is over, but at the end of the tunnel is God’s greatest gift. A newborn baby.” She spoke as she looked at you, never for a second leaving your eyes. 

“Do you think he sees us as sinners?” You asked with a sad expression. You may have not been heavily influenced by God, but he played a role in your life. Just as he did with your fiancé. 

“Just because you two aren’t married? Perhaps, but he knows that you two are down that road of getting married. He knows Elvis has a crazy schedule. I believe he made an exception just for you two.”

“How do you always know what to say?” You questioned. 

“I’m your mother, I’m supposed to.” She smiled and pulled you into a hug, being careful of the toddler against your chest. You leaned into her hug, not being able to properly hug back.

“Thank you.”

The three of you went back inside and waited for dinner to happen. The maids made a beautiful and tasteful dinner. The main course being the Ham. You didn’t understand the reasoning behind holiday meats. Thanksgiving was always served with Turkey, maybe a ham, but Christmas was served with ham. 

Your plate was full to the brim, hopefully, you’ll be able to keep it all down. You hardly had much to eat during the day. A bowl of oatmeal and fresh-cut fruit in the morning, and then dinner now. After everyone finished up their plate, everyone slowly but surely left. Your parents, your brother… Vernon made sure to stop by to drop off presents and say hi. 

Other than that, the maids cleaned up, you got Theo in the bath. Then you got him all ready to go to bed, with the help of Elvis. You then got in the bath yourself, figuring that would be the best way to destress. Before you knew it, you were in your pajamas and getting in bed.

You hummed softly as you pulled back the bed covers. You weren’t one to lie and say that the silk covers kept you warm during these cold months. Nonetheless, it made Elvis happy, and if Elvis was happy; you were happy. But- there was no way in hell you were gonna suffer while pregnant during the winter.

“Elvis,” you called out to him as you got into bed, slipping your legs under the covers.

“Yeah, darlin’?~~” You hum at his voice. You don’t know how, but he just sounded more southern at night. Maybe it was because he was getting sleepy. His voice was getting more raspy, the whole nine yards.

“We’re switching covers tomorrow.” You stated, not bothering to ask. You wanted your fleece sheets, not freezing silk.

“Hold on now-“ he came in from the bathroom, a toothbrush loosely hanging from his mouth. “What’s wrong with these?”

“Cold,” you answered simply, “and the baby doesn’t want to be cold. Mama doesn’t want to be cold.” You gave him that look. It was that very same look that said a million unspoken words. 

Elvis had a lot of say what got done in his house. Despite it being considered as both of yours. At the end of the day, it was Elvis’ name on the deed. He was the one to purchase it. He was the one who got to design and plan out the rooms. Then of course your son got a say in what went on in his bedroom. Despite the mess, he would make every single day. All you were asking was for a simple change of the sheets. 

“Fine fine,” he muttered under his breath as he returned to the bathroom. You choose to ignore it just this once. 

Does the bedroom bother you? Yes, it absolutely does. Compared to the rest of the house, it was dark and moody. It almost screamed vampire. You were more than happy with the blackout curtains, but you wanted it to look more lively. To match the rest of the house. Then again, you think it would kill Elvis if you put any sense of color in his bedroom. 

You reached over to your side table and picked up the book you were reading earlier. Joy in the Morning by Betty Smith. While Elvis was more into books that related closely to the lord, you were more of a romance fan. You liked your little romance novels because deep down you wanted your romance to be like them. 

That isn’t to say that the relationship you have sucks. You have your rough moments just like every other couple. In these stories though… it feels as if nothing ever goes wrong for them. That is what you wanted. A perfect life, a perfect relationship, a perfect… everything. Yet every night before you two signed off, you would read together a verse in the bible. One chosen at random. 

You would open the book, and go through the pages, stop at one random, run your finger along the page, and stop it at random. You two liked to take it as… a reading. Thought most of the time the verses don’t lead you on a path of anything. They are more or less… well, they are verses. Not fortune tellings, but you two still liked to take them as such.

The bathroom soon became dark and Elvis emerged from the doorframe. He made his way over to the bed and slid in next to you. Well, more like got in… then scooted over to you. He pressed a kiss to your head and pulled you into his warm embrace. You let out a light giggle and made sure to quickly save your space in the book. 

“You know, I haven’t given you your gift yet.” He spoke softly. You hummed softly and turned your head upwards to look at him.

“You’re giving me a baby, Elvis.” You spoke gently as you brought your hand up to his jaw. 

“I can give you one of those any time. This is a special gift.”

“And what does it have that the other special gifts don’t?” You raised your eyebrow. 

“I-,” Elvis didn’t know how to respond. He generally just needed the excuse of Christmas to give you more gifts. “God told me to.”

“Did he now? And what did he tell you to get me?” You played along with his statement.

“Well, that’s for you to find out,” he pulled out a neatly wrapped long box. You could already guess that it was some type of jewelry because of the box. Not a ring or earrings, could be a bracelet, necklace, or even a watch. The possibilities were endless. 

You took it out of his hands and ran your palm against it. “Let’s see if God chose correctly then.” You pulled the wrapped paper off and revealed a black velvet box. The words of a jewelry company posted on top. You opened it and saw a beautiful gold necklace with an oval, and an E engraved on it. 

You opened the necklace and smiled at the pictures already in them. A picture of you and Elvis, a picture of Theodore, and two more spaces to be filled. You looked over at Elvis and started to tear up. “Elvis,” you whispered. 

“Once our baby gets born we can add their picture… then we can do a family picture as well.”

“It’s perfect, I love it.” You threw your arms around him and pressed multiple kisses on his face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he rubbed your back gently. “Merry Christmas, my darlin’,” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and held his hand on your bump.

It may have started off as a rough day, but the ending was most worth it. Much like other things. The beginning may suck, but if you truck through to the end you will be rewarded. 

“I love you,” you whispered against his lips as you kissed him.

“I love you, and I love our baby.”

“I love them too,” you smiled alongside with him. Just think, next year you’ll have two kids for Christmas. It may be chaotic, but you were ready for this chapter. 

Special Taglist: @darlinboypresley @austinstyles

Author's note: I started writing this after the first part went up. But it took me all the day till the 19th to finish. I am not completely a hundred percent happy with this, but I think I want to turn this into a holiday fic. I don't think there will be one for New Years. I can see an Easter one happening, a 4th of July one, Halloween, loop back around I might do Veteran's day instead of Thanksgiving for next year. Then ending it again with Christmas. Of course the newborn being there.

In the original fic, the reader actually suffered a miscarriage, and I wasn't completely sure if I wanted to copy that over. So, I placed the idea in this fic, it does not mean it will happen, but it leaves the doors open for that possibility, though I kind of just said what would happen.

Next fic will be posted on Christmas Day. I hope to have it done much quicker then I did this fic. I hope everyone is having a wonderful holidays!

[dootznbootz]

Which Greek mythology character would you like to see talked about more?

OHoho. you all already know this.

It's Penelope.

And I am being so fucking serious about it. I'm also sleepy and angry and mother nature is stabbing my gut so I'm putting a lot of my emotions into this ask.

BUT her fangirling, angry, bitchy rant of mine, I will save for the end. (and I'll explain it more down there) Not gonna lie, I will probably be mean. Don't take it too personally. (Some folks I know genuinely love her and have stuff for her. Y'all are fine :D )

I have many other characters I wish would be seen more, but hers rant is ooooh. it's been boiling angrily for a long time and this is the perfect ask to let loose.

Take note: This is more about characters who I feel are either underrated and/or not really given love. It's a whole other can of worms about characters who ARE given a lot of attention but are either fandomized to the point of being unrecognizable or people just...really see them wrong.

Ariadne:

A young princess who helped out Theseus to end the cycle of violence against the youth of Athens. Despite the fact that she was going against her family by helping Theseus she did. When he left her, for whatever reason, she was rescued by Dionysus. In which these two have a loving and healthy marriage. There is so much potential here and it makes me sad that she gets butchered and/or just ignored.

Danae:

She was locked up by her father because of a prophecy that happened anyway. She is now pregnant with Zeus' child. She is then locked into a chest in which she is sent floating in the sea. She washes up on Seriphos. Her son is sent on an impossible quest in order to keep her from a forced marriage. Her story is inspiring and ugh sdkf j badass mama! ;~;

Telemachus:

Got that right here :)

Sthenelus:

Fucking love this lil hotheaded cheerleader man. Go boy, go! He got yeeted by Athena from the chariot. Diomedes and him tell each other that they love each other. Tells off Agamemnon for mocking Diomedes' and his dad. He was a child soldier alongside Diomedes. I love this weird lil guy.

Hephaestus:

It makes me sad how people only see him as the "cuck" of Aphrodite and Ares. (no hate to them. do not hate either of them) He's badass in his own right! He does that bigass fire in the Iliad! And one of my favorite scenes in that epic, is him welcoming Thetis! I think he's neat :D

Hebe:

Ganymede isn't the only cupbearer on Olympus you know.

Menelaus:

I love me a goofy wifeman...But if that's all you see him as, I'm sad. What about the sealy man? (aka him wrestling a god for a while and making him tell him answers) The exiled prince? The younger brother? The angry charioteer who yelled at Antilochus? The man who interfered with his brother's letter to his wife to warn to not bring their daughter? Being the sweet uncle figure for Telemachus? (he and Penelope get a lot of the same treatment in a way. with the whole "just the spouse" ;~; )

Psyche:

I think she's pretty popular, but shout out to her anyway :D Because I love her story a lot.

And last but absolutely not least,

Penelope

Heads up once more, but I'm going to be so fucking mean right now. I'm very tired and runnin on 4 hours of sleep and my tummy hurts. This is all over the place and I'm sad.

I think some of you treat the fact that Odysseus is (rightfully) obsessed with her and adores her as if that's HER personality trait... as while it's adorable to see him simping over her as he does, she's not just there for him (and me) to simp for. In the same vein, I think some of y'all only see her for her love of Odysseus and nothing more. Some folks don't see her as anything more than what she is for Odysseus.

AS IF HER HUSBAND ISN'T JUST AS INTERTWINED WITH HER AS SHE IS WITH HIM!

And yet, there is so much stuff with him about the other people in his life. The other Achaeans, Polites and Eurylochus, Athena, etc. You know Penelope has people in her life other than her husband and her son, right?

Even stuff that's just her, it's usually her weaving the shroud...That still ties back to Odysseus. If you wanna have her weave, maybe have her weave something happily. Maybe her chatting with Anticlea or Athena while she does! Or Helen! or her sister!

There's the saying of "the characters respect women but the author does not" and I'm noticing that a LOT in this fandom. I don't think it's intentional, but it's very telling with what people prioritize in their creations how they feel. (and no, I'm not talking about Homer. He wrote incredible women.)

I'm not saying you're not allowed to have favorites. But even if Odysseus IS your favorite, if you have Penelope so one note or with such weak characterization while having so much for Odysseus, FOR THE MEN WHO HE IS NEAR... It's just really telling.

I've even seen some shit with "Well, there's not much to do with her." as if y'all don't make OCs with less. I've seen people give Astyanax, an AU baby, more characterization than her. (Have him alive in your AUs but if you give him more character than Peenlope, I am side-eying you so hard.)

It genuinely pisses me off how overlooked she is. I hate how her tags are basically empty (honestly? I might start tagging my silliness for her correctly because it has so lil.)

Hey, why do followers of the other tags show up but not for #penelope of ithaca? It's clearly because she has SO many followers/fans that she broke tumblr! Especially with the fact that you can scroll all the way to the bottom pretty quickly! /sarcasm

(btw, before you say something, I know there's no consistent tag for Penelope. I follow many of them. #penelope odyssey is kind of the best bet I believe. #penelope of sparta is mostly about that new show that's coming out and hyping about it. still not about HER. #penelope mostly has some bridgerton character. so yeah. Not much on tumblr)

(shoutout to the artists who got their art on front of the tag! That's exciting! I'm being a mean bitch right now but that's fun and exciting!)

I hate how people see her as so one-note. I hate how she's often just "Odysseus' wife". MOST CONTENT OF HER IS HIM SIMPING OVER HER. (that's something I'm guilty of too! I plan to fix that soon. I have so many wips and so lil time and too high of personal standards because since she has so little content of her, I WILL make it good. I'll TRY to make it good.)

EVEN HEADCANONS! SO MUCH OF FANDOM STILL ONLY HAS HEADCANONS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ODYSSEUS OR TELEMACHUS. GIVE ME SOMETHING ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD. GIVE ME LIL QUIRKS SHE HAS. What does she struggle with? What's her favorite color? Does she like dancing? ANYTHING.

Feelings about how fandom sees her are also summed up by this and this.

...Do you see my problem? Just one of my problems?

So many people genuinely read the Odyssey and just see her as the "crying wife". People diminish her character and her intelligence all the fucking time. You wanna know something I've noticed? PEOPLE ONLY TALK ABOUT HER INTELLIGENCE WHEN ODYSSEUS IS THERE. Like with how she tricks him and how she tricks the suitors. Nobody talks about the moment when Athena appears as her sister in her dream and she is immediately like "hey, if you're some god, is my husband still alive?" she clocks her as Athena RIGHT AWAY.

People constantly forget her violent thoughts against the suitors! Or when she sasses Telemachus and Euryclea. When she scolds and threatens the maids. (she's not always nice y'all!) Do you really think Odysseus would be obsessed with someone who isn't on his level?

We all know that he loves her. BUT WHY?! "Because she's smart like him." Yeah, we know. WHAT ELSE?

They are Likeminded! Thinking and acting alike! You know how fun that is?!

Homer, you absolute mad lad genius. You made her a mystery to the narrator, Odysseus, and for some reason, people see that as her just being a straight up mystery. You wrote her so wonderfully and so complex with how she is so sneaky in her own way that people are literally tricked by her as readers as well!

Or sadly, more likely, people fucking blackout when she's in the scene and there's no Odysseus. 🙄

Look, even if you have Penelope be the "braincell" who keeps her husband in line, MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT ACTING LIKE ODYSSEUS' FUCKING MOM. They're both grown ass adults for fuck's sake!

Also...please...PLEASE have her be more than a prop for the men around her. I've read some things that could literally have her be replaced by Euryclea, as Penelope is sometimes just used as a sounding board.

I'll be even more bitchier. Even in the OT3 she's commonly in. It wasn't a NOTP until I noticed most creations of that ship was just "Odysseus and this person for 6000+ words... Oh, and Penelope making an appearance in the footnotes." If it's an OT3, they all love each other right? Where's the PenDio fics/art, cowards?

I have a weird theory about how people treat her that way. (other than fandom prioritizing men)

So there's "girlbossing" and "uwu sad victim" that fandom can never seem to leave. I think People do this with Helen and Clytemnestra and that's why THEY are "blorbo-able". (not saying they shouldn't be but they definitely get more love than Penelope)

Helen, despite not always being a victim in her story, has been through so much. Kidnapped and some people blame her for it (irl and some people in canon do blame the war on her). Very easy to cling to. I cling to her too! (she's on the "UwU always victim. tragic blorbo" end)

Clytemnestra, is a victim in the sense that she's a grieving and angry mother and wife. And so she killed Agamemnon. Her violence and anger is seen as "girlboss" despite all the horrible stuff she also did to her children. (she's more on the "girlboss" end)

Penelope, is not a victim to the same degree as Helen nor does she murder anyone (how could she? it was 108 people against her and the Odyssey shows that the suitors' parents were enraged. Even Odysseus was skeptical he could beat them.)

She's not on either end of the "scales" for people to find her "blorbo-able". She doesn't murder her husband or the suitors by herself or is a victim to them in the same way Helen is.

And that's just for people who know her husband didn't cheat. I think with people who think Odysseus did cheat, they hate her because "she let it slide". That she's "weakwilled" for knowing her husband went through literal hell and wanting him to be happy and safe.

Idk, It's a little lonely being one of the few "Penelope crazy" blogs.

I sometimes wonder if people kind of come to my blog in a "Hey, can you love her for me? Can you think about her for us?" as I have seen very little on her childhood for example. It's STILL mostly in relation to others.

It's not even the "sharing ideas" that bugs me. it's the feeling of people not wanting to come up with headcanons/ideas for her OUTSIDE of canon.

"She was in Helen's shadow." Okay, well, how did she feel about it? What did she do about it? Did she hide away? Did she internalize that? Did she find that freeing? To not be the center of attention?

Stuff like that. Dive DEEPER. PLEASE

It makes me happy that people love my Penelope as I love her too, clearly. But I really fucking hope you love the CANON Penelope too. If you think I made Penelope "better" or anything like that, then leave. She's already fantastic on her own.

I want to talk about her more. I want her to be seen more.

[swamp-spirit]

Swamp's Small-Talk Tips!

My power is that, despite being incredibly socially awkward in 99% of situations, I love small-talk. I'll get to know the person next to me in line! I'll talk about the weather! I'll learn what family members/pets/hobbies co-workers like to talk about!

The core of small talk is just saying "I am interested in your life and care about your experiences".

Small talk is fun because it has very clear rules and also you can win at it (make somebody happy). Here's my small talk tips-

-If it's a 'getting to know you' conversation, start with the shared situation. If you meet somebody traveling, you could ask where they're going. That opens up follow up questions. Going on vacation? What are they looking forward to?

-If they ask a question, and the question could also apply to them, it's polite to ask them the question back. ("Oh, I'm headed to Nevada. What about you?") Most people are not actually just trying to quiz you, and feeling like it can feel like doing all the work to keep the conversation going. Think of it like tennis: Receive the question, give a meaningful answer, return the conversation to them.

-You can give negative answers, but don't dwell in the negative. When somebody says "how are you today" they are trying to communicate they care enough to check in. You aren't expected to say "great, how are you!", but being negative is seen as a bid for sympathy and for the conversation to turn towards comfort. Some days, this may be what you need, but sympathy takes a lot of energy, even for the neurotypical. If somebody always focuses on the negative, it makes the conversation always focus on comforting them instead of something more positive and mutual. As a rule of thumb IMO, if you're in a normal bad mood, don't lie, but keep it light and shift focus. "Ah, I'm pretty sleepy. How are you?" (translation, I slept for hours and am running on a single protein bar and spite, but do not need to shift the conversation towards me). So, unless you really are asking for some attention and comfort, don't fake happy but downplay ("could be better", "still alive", "hoping to feel better after some coffee") and distract ("how about you?") This can also be good for reframing your own mood and focusing on the ways your day could improve or is going well.

-The reason weather comes up so much is because it's a shared experience with people in your area. We all drove to work in the snow today! Let us exchange Driving to Work in the Snow experiences! But there are many shared experiences that aren't the weather (and aren't touchy like major news stories). This is why things like traffic, location based sensory experiences (like loud construction), or shared inconvenience are common.

-Show interest in what the other person shares. Most stories have an intended reaction. "What happened was impressive, I want this affirmed." "That's awesome. What did she say?" "What happened was difficult, I want this affirmed" "Ah, that sucks so much. I hate it when that happens." Remember this is small talk. Most people are not looking for solutions right now. They probably don't know you well, and you don't know their situation well.

-Ask about previous conversations. Small talk is about showing you care, and remembering is one of the best ways. "How'd (your dog's name) handle the fireworks", "Did you end up seeing (your cousin's) play", "I know you love (media), did you see the (new thing)?". Remembering what's going on in their lives matters to people.

Some additional go-to topics: -Ask about plans for upcoming breaks/weekends. Often, the answer will be that they aren't doing anything or are doing something unpleasant, but you can affirm that taking a relaxing weekend is great or that having to spend the weekend doing taxes is rough -Follow their interests. Crafts, fashion, ren-faire, whatever. Find the things that make them light up. -Point out physical objects in their space. Cool earrings, a cute desk magnet, a photo of a pet, and compliment them.

Topics to avoid -Remember that not everybody has a good family relationship, and questions that assume that can be landmines -Lots of people are upset about being single, so don't ask if people are in a relationship -In general, avoid hot buttons like religion/politics until you know them well

Also remember a lot of other people aren't great at small-talk. Every office will have somebody who responds to every "how are you today" with a fifteen minute monologue of minor problems or never turns questions back to you.

You can deal with them through most of the things on this list (showing sympathy for their minor complaints, trying to show interest in what they're saying), or you can choose to disengage.

Good luck, and may you find the topic to make a stranger's day!

[haze-of-hyperfixations]

i was going to try and write a competent ask but i am very sleepy so i shall just ask instead - do you have any opinions/headcanons about odysseus’ dynamic with athena through the ages? no pressure to answer or anything of course <3

hi!!

i have a few thoughts on them, but they aren't the most coherent thoughts. kinda more vibe-based ramblings? that being said, here they are!

i think they have such a multi-layered aspect to their dynamic. like. she's his mentor, she's his friend, she's a goddess with the power to help him or end him at a moments notice. she's genuinely proud of him when he proves his skill. she's also disappointed and furious when he doesn't meet her expectations. they're both so single-minded in their goals. their bond sours, and they both snap. they both have specific ideas in their heads of who the other is, and a lot of those ideas are oversimplified and originated from both of them kind of projecting onto the other (more on that later). he feels comfortable enough to scream insults at a goddess, and she leaves him without harming him. that's really interesting to me.

"my life has one mission: create the greatest warrior." "(what do you live for?) Penelope." i love characters who are single-minded in their goals. i love when there's conflict between characters like that. i love when there's bitter understanding between characters like that. i love when there's both at once.

i also think their dynamic adds an interesting perspective to the narrative about gods and mortals. because, for a while, they let themselves believe that they understood each other.

and Epic primarily focuses on the blurring lines between man vs monster. but if we throw the gods into the mix as a separate category, we get a triangle where each line blurs at different points in the story. and each point on that triangle has its own tragic aspect to it.

the isolation that is inherent to godhood. the grief that is inherent to humanity. the insatiable hunger that is inherent to monsters.

and Odysseus cannot understand that kind of isolation. and Athena cannot understand that kind of grief. and the reason they both feel betrayed is because they let themselves believe they could both understand. it's their pride, they're warriors of the mind, they don't want to believe that this is beyond their capabilities.

mortal grief vs immortal isolation. "unlike you, every time someone dies, i'm left to deal with the strain." vs "since you claim you're so much wiser, why's your life spent all alone?"

"i am neither man nor mythical" takes on an interesting meaning with this concept. you can try to blur those lines in hopes of avoiding tragedy, and you may succeed, but the end result won't be in your favor. something about getting the worst of both worlds.

and back to the thing about them both projecting onto each other. "have you forgotten to turn off your heart? this is not you." i love the phrasing. because it seems to me that she's characterizing Odysseus in the same way she would characterize a fellow deity. because she knows what he's capable of, she knows he can be great, but she's also simplifying some of his more complex motives. because gods aren't usually as contradictory as mortals are. they have to be at least somewhat representative of their domains. and on Odysseus's side, I think he often found himself…not quite forgetting that she was a goddess, but unconsciously starting to characterize her more similarly to a fellow mortal. and i think neither of them were aware that they, themselves, were doing this, but were aware that the other was doing this. and Athena thought it was interesting and somewhat amusing, and Odysseus thought it was interesting and somewhat flattering, until it suddenly stopped being any of those things and became infuriating for them both during My Goodbye.

and as for their dynamic post-Cyclops saga, i don't have a lot of thoughts yet. i do think the concept of god-monster-man all being categories that can blur into each other is pretty cool for a concept that i just thought of today. i like the idea of Odysseus trying so hard to leave behind his humanity (and therefore the grief and guilt) and become the monster (hungering for home and family and survival) that he ends up alone. just like he had accused Athena of being. "one day you might understand. one day, but not today. for after all, you're just a man." and now he understands. and now he's alone. and he's no longer just a man. and not only does he have a deeper understanding of the monsters, he has a deeper understanding of the gods, of Athena.

idk. i think their dynamic is really interesting and complex, and i'm really looking forward to Athena showing up again, because I feel like I don't have the most solid grasp on her character at the moment.

and also i really like all the concepts of Athena hanging out with Odysseus in owl form. I think that's really neat.

(i hope at least some of that makes sense, i've been typing for so long and my thoughts feel scrambled and incoherent.)

thanks for the ask!! hope you have a great day!! :)

[laskyy]

OK! THE SEEUN STORY ATE! HELLO?! YOU NEED MORE CLOUT ON HERE!

So! Yk what's about to happen!

Yechan req because yes.

So, I was thinking it could be a friends to lovers aswell where the reader is a camera worker for KQ ENT, and while filming (any MV) someone/thing falls/bumps on Reader and they accidentally hit yechan w the camera then patch him up because they feel bad? (Not too hard. Don't kill my baby lmfao) 😋

AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUUUCH!!! I'm really happy you enjoy my content! Thank you for always requesting cute ideas!! Love you and happy reading <33

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Fall for you

Genre: f2l, camera operator reader, idol Yechan

Contains: mentions of blood, injuries, cheesy content

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It was another day of working with the boys of xikers to film their music video for Tricky house and you were very excited to say the least.

Today they were filming on the train and that gave you more opportunities to have fun with the camera angles and you knew the boys would make the job easy for you because they're just so good to work with, especially Yechan.

He was always really sweet to you and considering you were the youngest member of the staff he understood how you felt so he would always try to make you feel confortable.

The guys arrived on set and you started filming right away hoping to get good footage and let them go home as early as possible as they needed to rest.

They were currently taking a break from filming and you took the chance to look through the material you already filmed.

"Wow you made Yujunie look really cool!" You heard the voice you'd been wanting to hear all day.

"Yeah well, he's already cool I just filmed him!"

"Hey that's nonsense, have you seen him? He's a complete fluffball!" Yechan said while pointing to Yujun who was blinking one eye at a time because of how sleepy he was making you both giggle.

"You're right but you're also a fluffball, you look cute when you're sleepy!" you said not even believing you were brave enough to compliment him.

"You think?" He asked with his sparkly eyes.

"Well... yeah!" You said with a small smile while looking down.

"Then I hope you can make this fluffball look cool on camera" he said while lifting your chin up with a finger and smiling at you.

"I-"

"HEY YECHAN STOP FLIRTING WITH Y/N AND COME FIX YOUR MAKEUP!" The makeup artist said.

"I wasn't- I'll see you later" he said giving you a small wave while going to the makeup arting who laughed at the boy's embarrassed state.

When he finished fixing his makeup it was time to start filming his part.

Everyone was preparing their equipment but you already had your camera ready so you had time to admire Yechan from afar as he joked around with his members who were eager to watch him in action.

"Action" the director yelled as he got closer to you to take a look at how things would turn out on camera while you were filming.

Yechan started lipsyncing to his part and you looked at how amazing he looked having fun. You were careful to capture all his expressions in a lot of different angles.

His part was coming to an end when the director wanted to remove a mosquito that got stuck on the screen without making a lot of fuss, but unfortunately he leaned too far and bumped into you hard making you lose your balance and hitting Yechan on his leg with the camera.

"YECHAN!!" You yelled as you squatted to his level and started apologizing endlessly while looking for the part of his leg that got injured.

"It's fine Y/n it's just a scratch see?" he said smiling weakly while pointing to a cut on his shin that had some blood spilling out.

"But I feel bad! Let me help you!" You gave him your hand so that he could stand up and then you headed to a couch next to where there was a first aid kit.

"Alright this might hurt a little bit, but if it gets unbearable tell me and I'll stop ok?"

"Yeah but I doubt that'll even hur- OW"

"You were saying?" You asked while chuckling

"Nevermind" he said while smiling at the thought of making you laugh even if he was in pain.

You finished patching his leg up and then his members found the both of you and started getting worried about Yechan.

They were all around him, except Minjae.

"Thanks for taking care of him!" Minjae said while smiling at you.

"It's the least I could do, after all it was my camera that fell on him!" You said while looking at Sumin who was currently making Yechan laugh.

You were in a trance looking at Yechan and Minjae seemed to notice so he smiled to himself at the thought of you having a crush on their baby.

"Y/n if you like Yechan you should tell him!"

"I- Wha- Who- How did you know?"

"Just the way you look at him you know? And if it gives you any confort, I think he likes you too, in fact he is currently admiring you!" Minjae said making you turn your head to Yechan who was actually staring at you and looked away as he got caught.

"I'll take the guys somewhere else so that you can talk it out, good luck!" Minjae said giving my head a small pat and yelling for the other guys to come with him.

You sat next to Yechan and smiled at him.

"So you and Minjae hyung?"

"What? No? What makes you think that?"

"Well it's just that you seemed so smiley when talking to him and then the head pat." He said while looking down.

"Hey Yechan, look at me, the only reason I seemed so happy when I was with Minjae was because he was talking about you" you said, your voice getting quieter after every word.

"So does that mean you like me?" He said with a big smile on his face.

"It depends!" You said with a small smirk on your face making the boy before you frown.

"On what?"

"On whether you like me or not!"

"Well then, I like you so?"

"I like you too Yechan!" You said while smiling.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM!! PINCH M-OW, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"You asked for someone to pinch you so I did!" You said while laughing at his frustrated face.

"You have to make it up to me!" He said while crossing his arms.

"And how would I do that?"

He pointed to his lips and said or more accurately asked "By giving me a kiss?"

You giggled at how cute he was being and complied to his request by softly pressing your lips to his and moving them in sync with his until the both of you ran out of air.

"Who knew today I would get kissed and almost murdered by the person of my dreams!" He said while holding my hand and helping me get up from the couch as we both laughed and heard some more voices laughing.

We both looked behind us and there stood the boys just looking at us like they had been caught stealing something.

"Congrats!!" Minjae shouted and the rest of the guys congratulated us right after.

This sweet moment was obviously short lived as we had to get back to work to film Yechan's part.

"Good luck bub" You said as Yechan quickly kissed your cheek.

"Thanks cutie, try not to fall for me this time!" He said while laughing making you laugh too.

[bouncydragon]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @amidnight--dreary!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

Currently 46. No doubt there will be more to come, once I manage to actually finish any of my WIPs.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

234.084. I'm a little disappointed in myself right now.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The bulk of my AO3 fics are for the MCU but I have moved on from that and I'm mostly writing for Peaky Blinders right now (and possibly in the future as well). I have two unfinished MCU fics that I will eventually finish, I swear. There's also a few fics written for other fandoms but it's usually single fics.

4. Top five fics by kudos

In order: The King Is Dead, Long Live The King, Winter Butterfly, A Simple Act, Early Bird, and Sleepy Head.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. Though I'm sure I have missed some...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, hm. I think it would be Dead Boy's Poem, which in my not so humble opinion is a great story, it's just that it ends very badly.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm sure there's a few that qualify... At the top of my head I'd pick there goes my mind racing, just because it's a story that's very dear to me and one I actually love to reread. But honestly, there's probably a few fics that qualify, A Simple Act would be one of them for example. Winter Butterfly might fall in that category once it's actually finished...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think I remember getting some way back when but I can't remember what it was about, not that it even matters. I do recall having a brief argument with the person, I just deleted the comment thread. Nothing since then I think... I hope it remains that way.

9. Do you write smut?

Ah, well, not really. I have tried my hand at it but it wasn't anything explicit, basically everything but, so right leading up to the steamy stuff. I felt a bit awkward writing that, so I probably stick to hinting at stuff etc. But who knows, perhaps in the future...

10. Craziest crossover?

Well, I don't think I've written crossovers. As far as crazy stories go though, it's definitely the two stories involving the Avengers and resurrected dinosaurs. (Don't ask.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, which is good. Hopefully it won't ever happen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly not. I have translated my own shit though. Well, one. I wrote it in my native language and later translated it to English to post it. That's also one of the first fics I ever posted on AO3, way back in 2019.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Winter Butterfly is a project of the wonderful @worstloki and me, which we really have to finish at some point... I recall that we talked about it at the end of last year, and I forgot to check on the fic since then... Sorry.

14. All time favorite ship?

Ah damn. I have to say that it's probably Tofie (Tommy and Alfie from Peaky Blinders). It's the ship I write mostly for now and also the ship that kind of has stolen my heart, so to speak. I just love bisexual disaster gangsters. It used to be Frostiron. It's the one I've written most for and it still is dear to me but unfortunately it has been dethroned.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh. At the top of my head it's a fic called "When Dragons Cry", which I haven't posted and it just sits in my docs and judges me. It's Frostiron and Loki is a dragon and his egg has been stolen. There's convoluted lore to it as well.

But also a fic/series called "here I am alone between the heavens and the embers" which is about Tommy from Peaky and ghosts. Do ask me about that. Maybe if I talk about it, I will actually fucking work on it. It's so ambitious in my opinion, and I don't know if I am confident enough in my abilities to actually write it. I mean, I have started it and I do like what I've written, but damn...

There's probably more... Now I feel awful for all the abandoned projects... Anyway!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I cannot answer this because I don't know. Even if I think longer about it, I probably won't be able to come up with a satisfactory answer. It's probably something others are more capable of answering for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Honestly, same answer as 16. Though I guess I could say smut because it's just something I haven't practiced as much.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I think it's good. Though my language knowledge is very limited. I have used some in the past but it's usually very simple phrases that even a translator cannot fuck up.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

I've had that question recently and my answer is still not any more definite. It's probably Naruto, NCIS or Warriors. Though the more I think about it, the more I believe it was Warriors. But can't remember honestly.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

There's a bunch but if I have to pick, I'm gonna pick Lest We Forget again because it's a fic I'm very, very proud of and which deserves more attention in my not so humble opinion.

Tagging some writers, hope you don't mind, also no pressure obviously... @poormeowmeowcollector @justhallucinating @rabentochter @whentommymetalfie @justrainandcoffee @andtherewerefireworks

[seagull-energy]

I feel like doing some liveblogging for today's entry because I love it a lot and I have Things To Say! Under a cut because this got longgggg

"They do not fear the Ringwraiths, for those who have dwelt in the Blessed Realm live at once in both worlds [...]"

I'm sorry, those who have lived in Valinor do what now???? I don't remember this ever being mentioned anywhere else

'Frodo was now safe in the Last Homely House east of the Sea. That house was, as Bilbo had long ago reported, 'a perfect house, whether you like food or sleep or story-telling or singing, or just sitting and thinking best, or a pleasant mixture of them all'. Merely to be there was a cure for weariness, fear, and sadness.'

This makes me tear up and I'm not sure why.

This is one of my favorite chapters in the whole trilogy. I just love how warm it feels. It's like curling up with a cozy blanket and a warm drink on a winter evening, but it's also like sitting in the sun on a bright summer day with a cool breeze in your hair at the same time.

'In the middle of the table, against the woven cloths upon the wall, there was a chair under a canopy, and there sat a lady fair to look upon, and so like was she in form of womanhood to Elrond that Frodo guessed that she was one of his close kindred. Young she was and yet not so. The braids of her dark hair were touched by no frost; her white arms and clear face were flawless and smooth, and the light of stars was in her bright eyes, grey as a cloudless night; yet queenly she looked, and thought and knowledge were in her glance, as of one who has known many things that the years bring. Above her brow her head was covered with a cap of silver lace netted with small gems, glittering white; but her soft grey raiment had no ornament save a girdle of leaves wrought in silver.'

MY QUEEN MY BELOVED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS HERE!!!! <333333 *ahem* anyway, moving on

The mention of Beorn's son and Bard's grandson being leaders of their respective folk really puts into perspective how the lifespans of Men compare to Dwarves and even Hobbits.

''I will come and see [the Lonely Mountain], if ever I can,' said Frodo.'

Hey. Want to feel sad with me? I don't think he ever gets to do this.

'This is the Hall of Fire,' said the wizard. 'Here you will hear many songs and tales – if you can keep awake. But except on high days it usually stands empty and quiet, and people come here who wish for peace, and thought. There is always a fire here, all the year round, but there is little other light.'

Actually obsessed with the Vibes of the Hall of Fire. It's one of the places in Middle Earth I would most like to visit. Also if it ever shows up in an adaptation I may perish of happiness.

'Why, sitting and thinking. I do a lot of that nowadays, and this is the best place to do it in, as a rule. Wake up, indeed!' he said, cocking an eye at Elrond. There was a bright twinkle in it and no sign of sleepiness that Frodo could see. 'Wake up! I was not asleep, Master Elrond. If you want to know, you have all come out from your feast too soon, and you have disturbed me – in the middle of making up a song. I was stuck over a line or two, and was thinking about them; but now I don't suppose I shall ever get them right. There will be such a deal of singing that the ideas will be driven clean out of my head. I shall have to get my friend the Dúnadan to help me. Where is he?' Elrond laughed. 'He shall be found,' he said. 'Then you two shall go into a corner and finish your task, and we will hear it and judge it before we end our merrymaking.'

Bilbo and Elrond's friendship means a great deal to me and I feel it is tragically underrated.

'Don't adventures ever have an end? I suppose not. Someone else always has to carry on the story.'

Oh no here come the tears again.

'Strider!' said Frodo. 'You seem to have a lot of names.'

Oh Frodo you haven't heard the half of it yet... Also this has been pointed out many times before but I love that Aragorn remains Strider to the hobbits long after they learn his true name. It's really cute <333

He turned to Strider. 'Where have you been, my friend? Why weren't you at the feast? The Lady Arwen was there.' Strider looked down at Bilbo gravely. 'I know,' he said. 'But often I must put mirth aside. Elladan and Elrohir have returned out of the Wild unlooked-for, and they had tidings that I wished to hear at once.'

*sigh* can't believe the Plot is making Aragorn miss out on quality time with his wifey :(( Also, twins mention!!! I love the twins dearly (mostly because of One Specific Fanfiction)

Near him sat the Lady Arwen. To his surprise Frodo saw that Aragorn stood beside her; his dark cloak was thrown back, and he seemed to be clad in elven-mail, and a star shone on his breast. They spoke together, and then suddenly it seemed to Frodo that Arwen turned towards him, and the light of her eyes fell on him from afar and pierced his heart.

THEY'RE TOGETHER!!!!! One of these days you will be getting my essay on Arwen's Presence in the narrative and that is a threat. Also she and Frodo have interesting potential as a dynamic. Also also if she looked directly at me my heart would also be very much pierced <333

That's all my thoughts I think! If you stayed until the end, thanks for your time <3

[v-67]

Read Murderer Lewellyn's enchanting dinner invitation

And fuck.

I don't know how the author has this thing. This power. This way of making me feel so many things by imbibing and creating such an intricate plot, such intricate characters. Such emotions, such craving for emotions, such acknowledgement to ones you've never felt, such nostalgia for things you've never been through. You're within the story, so deeply. So fucking deeply. That you even feel like burning the world for such characters, for the pain they've felt, the things they've been through. It's just...so much. So much.

When I started reading this, it felt all complicated, i didn't want the main character to fall in love w a serial killer, i didn't want a character to be so dumb to fall in love w a killer. It was this gray area, an area where I judged Lewellyn, and as I judged him, I just wanted Shavonne to stay away. It made me look at myself in the light of how people treat people who are criminals, and it's an honest reaction, it's a reaction to be safe. I can't wait and fuck around to find out why he's killing people or who's he so particularly killing until I'm sure that he won't be killing me (Shavonne in this case)

But then, as the story starts to unravel, the way it unravels, it's so complex, the emotions and the trauma.

The way we get to understand Lewellyn, his actions, the reasons for him killing people. I cannot comprehend the amount of pain that kid went into, he was introduced in this world as a dog, and treated in such a cruel manner. Cruel isn't even the right word here, it was worse than cruel.

And when Shavonne meets him, and treats him w such kindness, he does not understand that. But he feels this sense of warmth, this energy which he describes so beautifully – It was a type of fire that didn't burn, it provided warmth, it was a type of heat I was unfamiliar with, I had no idea such a thing could exist. (The og dialogue is different, this is just me trying to recall the way I remember it)

But anyways, back here.

One of the most important points I took away from this story, which hit me so much, is the way a person can be brainwashed into thinking that something is normal when it's clearly not. And i think that can be one of the worse forms of torture to have someone go through. To change the nature of their understanding to such an extent. Go change a fact of the world to such an extent. To manipulate them into thinking what's happening to them is normal when it's clearly not. Fuck.

This was a great piece of work. The only part which I am a little question marky about is what exactly was it about lewellyn that the government wanted so much to treat him like that? What was this special condition he had?

It's cool even if I don't know.

Also another cool thing, in the end they show the names of their meaning. Shavonne means 'Grace of God', and Lewellyn means 'Leader of men'. And throughout the story Lewellyn, because of his eye color, is also compared/referred to being the devil – the devil has golden eyes. All this makes me curious about their names and the meanings the dynamic may share.

And the depiction of emotions, loneliness, family, warmth, love, mental distress, conscience. Wow. The depiction of the real world.

I'm sleepy to write more, but it was a beautiful manhwa. The way the words with the right plot and the heaviness of the situation, the words can make you feel so much.

Hats off to the author.

The dialogue where Lewellyn speaks about how if he was a human being..... Those 3 lines, they were so intense.

And the one about warmth.

Fuck.

I love reading content that explores psychological ways and things. The new perspectives, the way there's always going to be this one super simple yet such a profound and intense dialogue because of the gravitas of the situation it is placed at, which gets stuck with you.

It's beautiful. Words. And the way an author's mind works. The way they put so much thought and energy and bring these beautiful stories and characters to life. I love that. And I'm grateful for you all who do that. Thank you for bringing such beautiful tales, thank you for bringing the world and me a little warmth.

[writingrenna]

Jacq x GN!Reader

"Learn to Love (Pt. 3.5)"

A mix of random scenarios between you, Jacq, and of course, your beloved Pokémon. They all tell a progressing story, however. A lot of it is you getting to know Jacq and growing to be a natural at raising Pokémon.

Tone/Ending: Fairly Relaxed, VERY Fluffy, A Little Sad in the middle (basically just super short scenes of how your relationship works, you can see it as me using the imagines(?) style with an overarching plot!)

Warnings (For 3.5, 4, and 5): Capsakid is teething/loses his tooth at the beginning, plus some tears of joy and a little bit of trauma talk is had in the middle. Maybe looking at algae samples, your expy thinking of v*mit and calling Cap an asshole counts, but the second two are loving and in your head. Cap coughs up some Spicy Extract at one point. Also, hope you don't mind me mentioning Nintendo products! They're canon, so I'm gonna use 'em

Continuity: Part 4/finale of this particular story, and some lore from "May I Have A Word With You?" remains, setup for (???)

Word Count: 7,000+ in all

_\V/_

"Are you ABSOLUTELY sure it has nothing to do with him using Crunch?"

The man playfully scoffs and rolls his eyes, shaking his head a little as he stares at the ceiling. He's obviously just amused by your concern, however. Not a trace of annoyance can be found on his face. He's a man of science, but your uncertainty still made sense to him. Regardless, he wanted to reassure you. He makes eye contact again as he finishes doing something on his phone.

"Yes, I'm absolutely POSITIVELY sure. He really is just teething! Here, I have a little guide on how to help him until he loses that tooth of his..."

His phone emerges, sending yours a short guidebook through your email. You glance at the notification before looking down at Cap, who was angrily biting at the popsicle stick Mimi was holding.

He had already eaten the entire thing, the little puddles of melted Cheri berry juice made him slip a few times as he basically ripped the stick apart. Mimi looks absolutely astonished in a weird way, watching as he manages to cut clean chunks out of the stick with wide, concerned eyes, holding it out at a slight distance to avoid getting accidentally bitten herself. You decide to put an end to this.

"Oookay, little guy. That's enough, you're scaring her."

You pick him up, letting him nibble on your finger for a second. He seems to calm down a bit, but he then starts whining.

"Poor little baby..." you say, looking into his frustrated eyes. "I wish I could take on this pain for you."

And you really mean it, too. Your mind wanders a bit, idly wondering if there was some magical pain-transfering method you could do until you look into his eyes again. He looks a little sleepy now, but you know he has trouble falling asleep in general, so you feel like he'll probably hop right back into action once something distracts him from his pain well enough.

"Hehe, he's very lucky to have you, you know..." Jacq says, watching the two of you interact.

You look at him, silently taking note of the way the corners of his eyes crinkle a little as he smiles at you, gray irises looking a bit darker due to his pupils being slightly enlarged. You couldn't help but obsessively read his body language just to be sure he really meant what he said, but you've come to accept the fact that Jacq is just very honest, maybe even a bit blunt at times, but genuine all the same. It's even easy to suss out the rare occasion he's deceitful or secretive, too, if the admonishments he gets from Clavell mean anything.

You noticed and thought of so much, but in reality, you respond right away, looking back down at Cap.

"You really think so? I... I still don't know what I'm doing..." you say, gently massaging Cap's gums with your thumb. He seems to find some relief from this, leaning in slightly to help you apply more pressure, eyes closing in mild acceptance.

"That's okay! Nobody will ever know everything. It's that genuine effort that matters. Even now, look at him! He looks happy even though he's uncomfortable, because you're here for him."

You look at Cap, who gurgles a little as he tilts his head to the right to give you easier access to that side of his mouth. You massage that particular spot, eliciting a quick quirk of the lips from Cap before his face falls again, focusing on getting relief. It's random moments like this that make you think the overwhelming thought of 'I love you', but you often feel too awkward to say it during said random moments, so you just hope the loving look in your eye remains when he opens his own again.

_\V/_

"New dinosaur drooopped!"

You excitedly hold your phone out, an action that elicits a rattling noise due to the artsy teething bracelet you wore, showing him the article about it. Cap is in your shirt pocket, chirping excitedly despite not really knowing what's going on, while Mimi took her usual spot on your shoulder, holding on tight to keep up with your enthusiasm. It almost looked like you didn't just run back to Mesagoza after a day trip to Artazon. Almost.

He beams at you before nodding a few times, already sitting here and focusing on the same exciting news as you on his own phone, which was hovering and angled up at him from his desk.

"Oh, I know! It's all I could focus on this morning!" His smile slowly and sharply falls as he remembers something. "Heh, got a little scolding from the Director for that one, but at least I got my work done!"

You tilt your head a little. Did he... did he really get yelled at for that...? You wanna ask more, but it'd feel weird prodding.

"Aww, I'm sorry..."

He shoots you an awkward little grin as if saying 'it's fine' without using words.

"Well, I'm here, so uh, you should talk about it! 'Cause I also wanna talk about it, and you're excited, and I'm a noob who wants to learn-"

Now it's his turn to tilt his head a bit. Was it the noob comment? It's definitely the noob comment. You get slightly closer as you try to clear things up.

"Er- w-well, I didn't mean it like that, I meant... I'm like, not a scientist, but I've always been interested in paleo stuff, and like... you're a Pokémon biologist, so you know more about this type of thing than me. So with your knowledge and my noobish energy, this could be a really fun conversation, right?"

You silently nod, a strained grin on your face as if begging him to put a stop to the situation. Cap, who had been staring up at you this entire time, chirps loudly, obviously concerned. Mimi is as well, stroking you on the head and cooing lowly to calm you down. You probably look a teensy bit out of your mind at the moment, holding your phone up like you were threatening him with it. You're for sure absolutely mortified, but you keep your eye on Jacq's response.

At first, his mouth is slightly agape, definitely caught off-guard by your abrupt outburst. But then it slowly morphs into an open-mouth smile- a genuine one at that. He huffs out a laugh, which kinda reassures you? But also worries you a bit?

"Hehe, you guys were made for each other!"

Huh. Not a response you were expecting, but certainly makes sense coming from Jacq.

"But to answer your question, yes! I'd love to. Where did you find out about it?"

The tension in your... whole body loosens as you casually walk over, as if you didn't just take three years off your life through sheer humiliation.

"Oh, I follow this duo that goes by "The Bygone Beasts", I saw their post about it first thing this morning!"

His eyes widen a bit before he fully turns to you.

"Really, now? You follow them, too?"

You're slightly stunned, not really seeing him as a social media guy. But honestly, it kinda made sense when you thought about it. He made an app after all.

"Yeah? I follow their socials and watch their videos all the time, actually..."

He grins.

"Oh, wow, that's neat! I follow them, too. I like their 'Quick Digs' the most, especially when I'm too busy to look into something right away. It's nice- seeing how easy it is to introduce this new, complicated stuff if the right person teaches."

'Like you-?'

"Yeah, true! Plus, they make it fun, which is good for like, the general public and stuff..."

You are really bad at getting the words in your head out into the world, but he seems to understand you just fine.

"Yeah! Easy to digest and a pleasure to watch overall, I believe that's what makes a great lesson."

'Like what you do-?'

You nod fervently. You totally agree with him, you're just afraid the silly words in your head might get out if you elaborate too much.

Such as how you totally didn't run back to Mesagoza just so you could nerd out about dinosaurs together.

_\V/_

You were nervous. SO nervous, actually. Jacq had actually invited you to accompany him as he did some light fieldwork, since you were already out training Mimi anyway. Cap was back at the academy with Saguaro as he made him some more teething treats specifically to his liking...

...he's been really nice to you as well, actually. You might try and get to know him more.

Jacq had his Slowbro out as backup this time around, who lazily leaned against him as he tried to take notes on some Pokémon running around. The four of you were sitting in some bushes, just watching them interact.

"Ah, hold on, I have to write something down..."

He gently pushes against him so they're both sitting up straight. He didn't take his eyes off his field journal for even a second, which you couldn't help but find endearing. He looks positively giddy being able to work outside, even though you think he works outside the academy every Saturday anyway. Saturdays just like this, except he seemed to usually go alone.

He eventually sits up and glances at you, petting Slowbro as he did so.

"Hehe, sorry. I was just interested in that Mudbray over there! I think it's sharing its mud with that Petilil..."

He turns back to them as he says this, prompting you and Mimi to do so as well. The Mudbray seems to be scraping the ground a little bit as the Petilil hops in place with excitement. Jacq whispers, probably to himself, leaning in a little bit while adjusting his glasses to see them better. You can almost feel him squinting, even though you can't see it yourself.

"Huh, I wonder what they're..."

The Mudbray finishes its work, stomping once with its front leg and proudly holding its head up, looking away from the little bulb with its eyes closed. Petilil proceeds to squeak, hopping around in the mixture. Despite the presence of Mudbray's mud, the area doesn't seem to be a mess...

"...ohhhh..."

You turn to him. He brings a hand up to his chin, gears turning in his head as he has an epiphany.

"...was that Mudbray preparing a little patch of soil for Petilil...?"

You keep watching them as well, watching as the Petilil seems to be frolicking around in the spot Mudbray dug around in. Mudbray opens one eye to catch a glimpse of the little grass-type before closing it again, holding its head up even higher. It's undeniably proud of itself.

You turn to Jacq, who is already furiously scribbling everything down, nodding and mumbling to himself as he did so. You look over at Slowbro on the other side of Jacq, who yawns, still leaning against him. You then turn to Mimi, a small, uncontrollable smile on your face. She covers her face to try and stifle a little laugh, prompting you to playfully roll your eyes and shake your head, looking away from her.

"Okay! That was a very fascinating interaction..." he starts, looking down at the notes he wrote. You look back towards him as he mulls over them, and he eventually turns to you.

"Sorry, got in the zone, hehe."

You shake your head.

"Nope! You're good, do your thing. In fact, pretend I'm not even here!"

He furrows his eyebrows, mouth slightly open, confusion evident on his face as he stares at you.

"Wha- why would I?"

You feel somewhat addled, looking at how confused he is. Isn't it obvious...?

"...this is a part of your research, right...?"

He lets out a little "pssh!" sound, looking at you with a wry smile.

"Oh, this? Don't worry, I'm just observing them, nothing major unless I see something strange..."

You nod, looking back over at the duo, but especially at Petilil. Grass-types sure were interesting, you wouldn't mind it if you stuck around to study them a little. You're especially interested in how they came to be, that topic is still shrouded in quite a bit of mystery. And since your first Pokémon just happened to be a grass-type, it was almost like it was meant to be.

"...that being said, I do wonder what benefits Mudbray gets from all this..."

He is completely engrossed in what he's watching, back to staring at the two as if he had never even turned around in the first place.

"Is it possible it does it altruistically? Are they friends? She seemed to know what it was doing already..."

He continues to scribble some notes down.

"Oh, I HAVE to talk to Mudsdale about this later. Maybe she'll know!"

You laugh a bit to yourself. This wasn't exactly what you had in mind when you agreed to join him on the field, but you didn't mind. Seeing Jacq in his element, just watching how he functions on a normal old day was great, no matter what he was doing.

_\V/_

"Oh... oh no, buddyyyyy. I'm so sorry-y-yyyyy-"

You're struggling not to laugh a little as you comfort your Pokémon. Cap's shooting you the death glare of the century, but at least that tooth finally came out! Now he won't have to live in discomfort, at least until it starts growing back in. You had it on your desk, because you weren't exactly sure what to do about a tooth that will start degrading sooner rather than later.

You give him a little pat on the head using your index and middle fingers, but when you remove them, you see that he's still absolutely incensed. You stifle a titter, trying to stare him down with a somewhat neutral expression to show him you aren't laughing AT him, even though it's technically true.

You weren't laughing at his missing tooth, however. That was for certain. You were laughing at the face he made when you tried to reassure him he'll be fine without it for a while. Which is the face he's still making. Which is why you're struggling not to laugh.

When his eyes narrow and his frown deepens even more, you can't help yourself. Pulling out your phone, you aim it at him.

"Hah- buddy, buddy, I promise you'll be fine-"

You snap a picture, face twisting into a strange slanted smile as you look at it, prompting Cap to stick his tongue out at you.

"I'm sorry... you're just so cute... plus, look!"

You turn it towards him, though you can't tell if he actually looked at it or not.

"Memories in the making... your first tooth shedding!"

You do genuinely love keeping mementos for occasions like this, even silly ones, but that also means you take plenty of photos he won't hate you for in the future. Mimi comes over, hugging Cap and mildly glaring at you. She then walks off with the little guy.

The absurdity of it all almost breaks you, coming so very close to just... cackling. But you take a deep breath and remain calm. You feel bad for laughing, so you accept the fact that you'd have to either explain just WHY you were laughing, even if they didn't believe you, or simply apologize for laughing at all without any explanation. Either way, you'd accept their reactions.

You sit down at your desk, staring at the tooth. You really don't know what to do with it. Apparently people make dishes with these? But you aren't sure how comfortable you'd feel eating the tooth of your own Capsakid. Do Capsakid in the wild who like spicy foods eat their own fallen teeth? UGH, so many questions...

You pull up your phone.

So many questions, so many excuses to message Jacq.

[Hey! Can I ask a weird question?]>

<[Of course! The weirder the better./gen]

[What should I do with Cap's tooth? I don't think I personally have the will to eat it, but I also think it's gonna start rotting or drying out eventually]>

<[Hm, there are quite a few things you could do with it. Want a little list?]

[Yes, please! I'm open to anything]>

<[*You could donate it to a friend so someone else can use it.

*You could see if he wants to keep it, some seem to hold onto them for some reason or another.

*If he doesn't want it, you could preserve it for yourself if you're the sentimental type.

*It's also fine to just let nature take care of it.

So many options! Those were just a few.]

Hm, what would a wild Capsakid do...?

[Thank you!! I'll definitely ask if he wants it, but preserving it sounds sweet if he doesn't]>

You then think of the picture, wondering if he'd find his little face as amusing as you.

[Hey, totally related, check this out]>

[He angy]>

You wait for a bit, hopefully he doesn't think you hurt him. Oh gosh, what if he does... the sight of those three torturous dots causes you to freeze and stare at your screen until...

<[Oh wow, you're lucky the Director wasn't around when I got this 😂/j]

Ok... thank ALL the gods in the world and also any other ones beyond it that he found it amusing... you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You then start replying, feeling confident enough to continue the conversation.

You didn't know it at the time, but this weird little photo eventually reminded him of something.

_\V/_

"Do you... remember what happened that day?"

The two of you are sitting in homeroom before classes start. You're trying to rack your brain the best you can. The day you learned Cap was getting stronger just watching Mimi, Cap got mad at you. Why could that have been...?

"...hm..."

You furrow your eyebrows in deep thought, tracing your memories back from your arrival in Mesagoza to the first thing you can remember that day. Something happened between you two, what... what was...

"Oh, oh! I remember!"

You turn to him.

"Cap was already out of his Pokéball! H- he was attacking another Pokémon-- what was it...? Oh, a Chewtle!"

He slowly nods along, eyes relaying the fact that he was mulling over every detail you gave as you gave them.

"Hm... I see..."

He seems to have an idea of what was going on already, but he needs some clarification first.

"Do you remember anything about the way they were fighting?"

The... way... they were fighting? Something about this question tickles your brain a bit.

"I think... hm, that's a... an interesting question."

You remember the fact that Cap seemed mad at Chewtle. Like, genuinely furious at it, before redirecting that anger towards you. The Chewtle had some friends watching on the sidelines, but didn't run when Cap knocked the main Chewtle out. It was when they realized you noticed them that they bolted. Cap and Chewtle were crying out, trying to intimidate the other, which is why you woke up in the first place.

Ok. That's a lot to unpack.

"...the Chewtle... well, there were three of them. I woke up because Cap was yelling at one of them, the other two were watching nearby. And uh... when I asked him why he was fighting a random Pokémon, he got mad at me. He knocked the Chewtle out, too, I don't know why. I think he used... Razor Leaf...? Yeah, had to be Razor Leaf. It was close-range, though. Seemed to be a VERY personal attack."

He nods once, staring at the ground as the final piece of the story clicks into place.

"I see..." he says as he closes his eyes, face turning somber. "Capsakid was very mad at you that day."

It's been a little while since all this happened, but that still made your heart sink. He has a warm expression on his face as he sits back up to look at you, however.

"From how frantic he was in letting me know something happened to you, he seemed more worried that you didn't get why he was mad than the fact that you told him off. But since you mention him fighting a Chewtle and being out of his Pokéball before you got up--"

You think you're starting to get it.

"--well, it seems your Capsakid is a very loyal one indeed. I believe he was simply trying to protect you from the Pokémon stumbling upon your camp!"

Of course he was. What...? Of course, how did you not realize it?

"I-"

You're having trouble speaking, words failing you. He takes note of this.

"...hey..."

He puts a hand on your shoulder.

"... I think he just wanted me to tell you to be more careful, human-to-human. I'm very glad he came out and saved the day. He deserves a gold star for that one!"

Huh. You knew he was just being playful and using teacher humor, but... that doesn't sound like a bad idea. The image in your head of Cap and Mimi covered with gold stars while proudly standing next to a good behavior chart tickled you.

"Hehe, he sure does..."

You feel kind of sad, though. You want to understand them better. Of course Jacq isn't exactly fluent in Poké speak, but the fact that he could see his stress, realize it was related to you specifically, and ask the right questions to guesstimate what he wanted made you... a little jealous, not gonna lie. Not the kind that makes you resent either of them, thankfully, but the type that makes you wish you could just... be as good as him, you guess.

"...Mr. Jacq...?"

He smiles a little, although there was an almost imperceptible sense of hesitation in the way he turned to you, something you'll no doubt obsess over later.

"Yeah?"

"I... I wanna stay at the academy a bit longer."

His eyes light up.

"Really?"

You nod with determination.

"Yeah! I, uh, think it'd be fun, being able to really study here. I wanna be able to understand Cap and Mimi the way you do. Plus, I- I've always been interested in helping the world figure out the origins of grass-types, even as a kid. Maybe I could be a researcher that focuses on them?"

You panic, just a little on the inside.

"A-and if I'm not cut out for that, maybe I'll be able to offer support in another way? I can be helpful, I promise..."

You look down, all steam evaporating from your body. Your word salad of a proclamation goes out in the least confident way you can imagine.

"...eh... maybe..."

There's a small silence, which freaks you out until you glance at him. He's looking down, face neutral, but his eyes show a slowly brewing excitement. He's thinking over your proclamation. When he looks up at you, a giddy grin is plastered across his face.

"That sounds great! I know you'll do great in whatever you pursue, and hey! I'd love to see you here next semester."

Oh, thank goodness. He said he'd love to have you here. And you'd love sticking around. You were done pretending you had to leave once your situation was sorted. You adored this school, enrolling because of Cap but staying for... everything else.

You're just glad he still seems to want you around.

_\V/_

"Alright, Mimi! Use Entrainment!"

Mimi nods with a squeak before starting to dance. The wild Lechonk watches her odd movements, head swaying to keep an eye on her, only to get in the groove and start dancing as well. After a while, you strike.

"Nice, now use Discharge!"

She nods, curling in on herself before throwing her arms up, charging up a loose a flare of electricity while wildly hopping and swiping at the air before sending off one dense blast that fades out after a certain distance. The Lechonk... seems to be unaffected by it, even looking at itself and its surroundings as the electricity disperses and fizzles away. It then turns to you, oinking.

"Okay, now it has Volt Absorb. So that's how Entrainment works... nice!"

Mimi turns to you and trills before letting out a little cheep. You smile.

"That ability will certainly be helpful..." you muse, looking at the Lechonk as it stares at you both.

"Oh, thanks for being such a good sport, Lechonk!"

You toss it a treat, a Poffin from the Patisserie Soapberry. Lechonk takes a step forward and happily eats it, wagging its little tail while snorting away. When it finishes, it oinks again as a goodbye before waddling off. Maybe it will use its new ability... what do wild Pokémon do when hit by moves like that? Would it go away if it fainted or fell asleep or something? You can't help but wonder...

"Okay! We should check in on Cap and Jacq!"

It likely wasn't easy watching him while grading papers and the like. You knew your little chaos gremlin, so you tried to warn him ahead of time. You just know he's probably bored and causing mayhem, or trying to get Jacq's attention through any means necessary. But he insisted he keep him while you go out to train and see what Mimi's got going on, so you reluctantly agreed... he was the expert, after all, so if anyone could babysit a rascal like Cap, it was Jacq.

...he's done so much for you, for seemingly no benefit of his own. You'd have to thank him profusely one of these days.

[Jacq! She just entrained the HECK out of a Lechonk! Isn't that cool???]>

He opens it and responds after a few moments.

<[Yeah, very cool! When in a pinch, that move can be pretty useful. And hey! She might even be close to Cap in terms of experience now, actually!]

Huh. Does that mean...?

[Aw, finally. Progress! I need to test that theory out soon 😈 ]>

You were pretty excited to see if he was right, since you weren't totally sure how confident Cap was using Seed Bomb yet. You'd have to see if they were in the same battle experience range in-person. Plus, a part of you still wants to wait just a little bit before testing it out. You're getting ahead of yourself now, though. You wanna see your gremlin!

[Oh yeah, can I see the little baby guy?]>

He starts typing, only to pause for a few moments. He then picks it back up and responds.

<[Sure! Gimme a few seconds.]

You wait, and he sends a picture of a very happy Capsakid.

<[I think he likes lemonade]

You can't help but let out a laugh. Something about his reply was sort of amusing to you. Cap looks like he's having a grand 'ol time as well, you'd have to buy him some lemonade sometime. Maybe you can experiment with different foods and drinks now that he likes you enough to... not... ignore you.

[Haha, noted!]>

You then look down at Mimi, who is sitting in front of you grooming herself. After giving her ears a good brushing, she chirps, walking over to you and rubbing up against your leg. She's always been fond of you. You aren't sure why, but you're grateful for it. Always by your side, looking out for you, going along with your weird little plans...

You smile. You really did appreciate it, even if you couldn't always put it to words. So you pick her up and give her a little scratch behind the ears. She leans back a little to really melt into the feeling, closing her eyes and smiling wide.

"You've always been there for me... through thick and thin. Thank you for that..."

The "I love you" lingers on your tongue, but it feels like bad timing. You love her in general, you don't want to give her the impression that you only love her because she's useful in your plans. So, you decide to be less shy in showing your love and appreciation for no real reason more often.

You've always enjoyed the idea of (well-meaning) spontaneity when it comes to gestures of love, even if you'd probably explode if someone did it and you weren't even sort of aware of it. You'd just be able to do it more often now that you weren't stressed 24/7 anymore. Whenever you thought of her, you'd let her know.

_\V/_

You're sitting on the floor in your bathroom, trying to keep as quiet as you can, tears streaming down your face. You're crying, for a reason you're honestly a little embarrassed by. You were bathing Cap, because he decided running around in the mud was an amazing idea for some reason.

"C'mon, Cap. You look fresh out the ground right now..." you said, an amused smile on your face. You ran the sink, but added some bubbles to it to make it more fun. The sensitive skin kind specifically, just to be sure.

You gently wipe the dirt off with a wet cloth, using just the cloth over your thumb so you don't smother him on accident. He seemed to accept his fate rather well, allowing you to clean him up without too much of a fight. When you were done, you let the water run out, getting all the dirty water down the drain before deciding to rinse him off one more time.

You refill the sink to just a few inches this time, placing another cloth on the bottom so he doesn't slip before allowing him to splash around a bit. He seemed to enjoy it, actually, so you smile, looking down at him as he played and finished getting the last bit of residual soap off. He looked up at you, those big ol' eyes of his so full of wonder and enthusiasm...

...and then it began.

Here you are, crying your eyes out in your dorm's bathroom because of the overwhelming love you feel for your tiny pepper kid. You can't help it. You just didn't know why. Why now? All you were doing was washing your gremlin off so he didn't track dirt and mud all over the academy.

But you couldn't control the wave of adoration that came over you.

Cap chirps from the sink. You flinch, remembering how small he is, so you turn around to make sure he hasn't fallen. He hasn't, simply watching you over the sink's edge, curious. You smile. It's a real smile, but the tears in your eyes are all he really sees right now. So when you get up to walk back over, he stares up at you as he generates some leaves, almost like he was about to hit you with Razor Leaf like he did to Chewtle... but he doesn't, instead letting them gently fall.

You blink, confused, before he bites one and leans in. He then chirps again. It was slightly muffled, so the tone was hard to gauge, but you assume he wants you to take it. You... really wish you knew what he was saying.

"What, for me?" you ask as you take it from him, lifting it up to smell it like a flower. But as you do so, he chirps loudly again, before rapidly blinking. You blink back at his pace, really not getting it until he scampers up to rub his face on your shirt.

Oh... was he... was he trying to get you to...

You wipe it underneath your eye before looking down at him expectantly. He chirps, bottoms of his eyes crinkling with joy.

...huh... maybe he does pay attention during movie nights.

You chuckle a little, charmed by his attempts to make things better. His leaf was obviously not the best material to use as a replacement for tissues, but he didn't need to know that. The fact that he wanted to make things better so badly that he even thought of this warmed your heart. You nod at him, smearing the rest of your tears away before bowing slightly.

"Thanks, Cap. Really! I appreciate it."

He trills before turning around, kicking up some water and letting out a mighty cry. Back to playtime it is. You need to remember to get some bath toys for them, but he seems satisfied just splashing around like he's king of the lake or something. Must be nice meeting a body of water he can trust not to swallow him up...

Mimi was fast asleep, but you know she'd find it sweet if you told her later (maybe even squeal and give him a big Bewear hug). Jacq was... doing Jacq things of course, but he'd certainly love to know that he thought to do something like this. You even think of Saguaro, knowing he would find his gesture adorable.

But a part of you would like to keep this little moment between the two of you. You were thinking hard about it of course, but Cap had already moved on, stomping around with a smile, probably not even thinking about it anymore. It was super sweet, and you wanted him to know that in ways your awkwardly short words couldn't portray, but perhaps it should be by celebrating him as an individual?

...hmm...

_\V/_

End of Part 3.5

[sketching-shark]

Well this question will be quick, because I'm really out of ideas

Of all the Yaoguias that the book shows us in each one of the trials of Sun Wukong, Tripitaka and the rest of the pilgrims/disciples

Which one is your favorite and why?

Pd: I'm having an artistic block T_T

First of all thank you for the sleepy kitty gif <3.

And in regards to your question I'll have to fall back on the common favorite of the Bull Demon King! There's a LOT more intense emotion involved in his arc than many another on account of his and the Monkey King's past friendship and the things that recently went down between the pilgrim group and Red Boy, and I still think there's something so funny about Niu Mowang calling time-out in the middle of one of his and Sun Wukong's fights so he could go party with some of his dragon friends. Also his true form being that of a gargantuan white bull with sharp iron teeth is extremely metal.

That last point is actually one of the reasons why the Tiger Vanguard is another one of my favorite yaoguai. You don't get much more metal than a tiger tearing its own skin off so that it can become this humanoid monstrosity in order to fight.

I also have a particular fondness for the tree spirits who challenge Tang Sanzang to a poetry contest. TBH their arc is one of my favorites before the ending of them trying to force the monk into a marriage and then the pilgrims killing them all. I honestly love stories that are along the lines of "here' a strange but pretty benign experience I had in nature," and I feel like that arc could have been a great version of that if not for the ending.