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#ending in a 2 day convention
ditch-lily · 1 year
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just a little sad noises post which may get deleted but
i'm in wanting to trying to but can't really write moment. and it ssucks cause I wanna! but also im just soooo tired. work is a lot (more markets, more creative deadlines) so having a weekend where i can do nothing and not create is so valuable yet here i am beating myself up about it lol. anyway idk why i feel so upset and guilty abt this? but welp . im just really exhausted and near tears over it
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ayumi-honda · 5 months
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🚘😎🌼🖤🌼😎🚘
Today in features that never made it into the Good Omens book/series: 60s female presenting Crowley, the Citroen 2CV and the mention of "psychedelic black" as revealed by @neil-gaiman in tumblr asks and the Script Book for season 1.
This largely self made cosplay "premiered" at the Proud Nerd Con in Goch and is based on a mix of 1960s fashion research and incredible fanarts of our favourite grumpy demon. The car belongs to hannah._.horror 🚘
Free background from freepik.
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mihai-florescu · 7 months
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I have discovered my spring break is next week. Dumb asses. It's not even spring yet. It wont be spring by the time it ends either. Who came up with this schedule
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seilon · 29 days
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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high school graduations suck but the valedictorian doing a speech about how corporations are killing the planet and we should be more conscious about our waste and consumerism for the betterment the future of our planet and children, pissing off every idiot conservative on the crowd including my dad, carried the entire thing for me
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prim-moth · 1 year
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I love buying gifts I love looking at things and go oooh they would like this I love that my money is well spent for people I love
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istherewifiinhell · 2 years
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heres the 03 arc. something happens/someone shows up. its infuriating. something/someone else. happens/shows up. and is more infuriating. you feel better about the former....
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frecklenog · 8 months
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i want you all to understand this.
insulin pens are very often used by diabetic children (or their parents, but they were very easy to use during the short time i was prescribed them when i was a child myself). they’re less cumbersome, produce less waste, and are far easier than pulling insulin from a vial with a single use syringe, as syringes are much more susceptible to air bubbles, which result in the diabetic not getting enough medication. i’m explaining this part because i know that some diabetic adults do also use them, and i’m sure that that’s true of diabetic adults in palestine with such scarce resources. when it’s life or death, you can’t really be picky.
the israeli occupation is now banning insulin pens from entering gaza.
lack of insulin results in diabetic ketoacidosis — essentially a very, very dangerous version of the effects of the keto diet. insulin is a key for the sugar from one’s food (both slow and fast acting, since all food has some carbohydrates, from nuts to potatoes to table sugar) to get from their bloodstream into their cells. without insulin, the body resorts to eating through its own fat stores rather than the sugar it cannot access and tries to flush the excess glucose that is in the blood through the urine. this results in weight loss, headaches, nausea, dehydration, blurred vision, abdominal pain, impaired mental faculties, and, if left untreated, will result in a coma, and eventually death within a matter of weeks. not “can.” it will kill you if not treated, and was largely considered a lethal diagnosis until insulin was discovered in the early 1900s and made readily available in 1922.
i’ve been in dka. admittedly, i was very young and have blocked much of it out. but i do remember that it fucking sucked. i couldn’t focus on anything, i was ravenous no matter how much i ate, and the room spinning to the point i felt like i was going to throw up became an increasingly regular occurrence. i was seven years old and wasting away like i was starved. i was dying. a few more days, and i likely would’ve gone into a coma and might not be here now.
to inflict that, willingly and knowingly, on innocent people, is nothing short of a crime against humanity, and violates the geneva conventions (item 2.a.ii. torture or inhumane treatment, including biological experiments and item 2.a.iii. willfully causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health). not that the israeli occupation cares, of course, as south african prosecutors have already extensively detailed their crimes in the icj, and this one in particular has already been committed near-countless times.
this entire occupation is a genocide, and this is only one more nail in that coffin. but, as a diabetic — as a human being who has been in that state and was lucky enough to have the resources to live almost another fifteen years (with the anniversary of my own diagnosis about halfway through next month), i can’t find the words to express my disgust and rage anymore. maybe it’s selfish to be so deeply impacted by this particular blow. i don’t know. but these people have done nothing wrong but be disabled in gaza, and as someone with the same disability, i know that no one deserves this, even if they have committed a crime (which, again, these civilians, largely children, have not). i will not fucking stand for it.
we need a ceasefire. we need an end to the occupation. we need a free palestine. now.
here’s a masterpost of how you can help.
EDIT: here’s a post on how to help diabetics in gaza specifically
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conflictofthemind · 3 months
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Take Me To Church-Gate
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A few weeks back, I received a tip that Noah and Finn came into Atlanta for a couple of days to rehearse a scene alone together that never ended up being filmed. This was around the time of the convention that Finn ended up missing in early June (and we initially theorized was for the playground scenes).
I since received confirmation of not only this, but that the rehearsal in question was for a scene at the UD church set. The filming never went through because Noah got an eye infection / sty, so the shoot was rescheduled for early August. If you've seen me mentioning looking forward to August, this is what that was about.
The Eye Infection:
Let me link this post to begin with, barring the 'James' stuff who has proven to be false. I heard about the eye infection and my alarm bells rang immediately - I have a friend myself who wears contacts occasionally and whenever they get sties, they're always caused by the contacts. When has Noah worn contacts before in the show? When Will is being possessed by the mindflayer in Season 2.
The church is an interesting location, because it most definitely has to do with Henry as well. When the original countdown for TFS was being posted, there were images of a church - a location that may have been changed during development. The characters most likely go there as part of the continuing Henry investigation.
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And we know Henry was exorcised at some point, but it failed. The sign going into the church is also a likely clue to this, referencing Mark 9:29 - a verse about a failed exorcism.
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Conclusion for this part: Will very likely becomes possessed again while in this church. My source tells me they usually only do big rehearsals like this for scenes involving action, too.
My opinion is that Will was never fully exorcised either. I mean, he still has a clear connection to the mindflayer with all the tingles on his neck and the possible literal psychic connection he has to Vecna as well.
It's Byler, Too:
I suspect that Jamie has some part in the scene as well (given they scheduled it during his latest block on set), but the focus is on Will and Mike - being the only two other main characters on set at the time, and the only two rehearsing.
But going back to the church thing.... I wonder what kind of symbolism is created by bringing two gay characters who both have a lot of internalized shame into a location that is honestly the source of said shame? It's honestly not even symbolism. It might just be referenced in plain text. Looking back at that church sign:
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"This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer"
"This kind" really evokes the dehumanising language used by homophobes to refer to gay people. And the driven out by prayer part, well that really evokes conversion 'therapy' practices of praying the gay away. So what if this is where Will and Mike finally admit their love for each other, and kiss. And what if that is actually what's able to drive the 'demon' away - gay love.
Especially during the Satanic Panic arc we are sure to see come full circle with the reckoning of the Hellfire Club in Season 5.
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An arc which Mike is surely at the centre of as well, being not only a Hellfire Member in the past, but being family to the new disappeared child in town.
And it's not like Mike's love is what's been shown to us time and time again as the way to break Will out of his mindflayer trance. Oh, wait.
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Consider it incredibly fanfic-y, but it's on the table now. An action scene at the church involving Byler where Noah is wearing contacts - Will becoming possessed just like Henry again and being made to fight Mike as not only part of the plan to get all of the Wheelers, but also as something that would break Will's spirit permanently. They're all alone with nobody to help save Mike. But the plan is thwarted through the power of love, and in a place that represents a lot of shame for gay men (especially in the 80s) - they finally come together. And it is love that frees Will from his trance. Whether through a confession or true love's kiss. It would be so dramatic and atmospheric.
Additional evidence:
Jopper's Season 4 reunion and kiss inside the Russian church, of which this would be a parallel.
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The whole idea of "we kissed, as though nothing could fall. And the shame was on the other side" from David Bowie's Heroes - the shame being in the actual church from the rightside up, but they're alone together on the other side / in the Upside Down.
It is also very likely that this scene is from Episode 5 or 6. I've asked and nobody seems to know which episode it is from, but following the logic of Episode 4 being when the characters enter in groups into the Upside Down, and here Byler are all alone, it is definitely after some time has passed and groups have split further. They're definitely not having any kind of confession in the first half of the season, so this timing sounds positive.
Multiple rehearsals. Noah contacting his acting coach recently for advice. Them even having to cancel an entire shoot because of a sty indicates close-up shots for sure.
Anyway. I'd really love to see people's thoughts on this. I feel like there's even more I could get into in follow-up posts, especially if other people chime in with their thoughts. I have been buzzing about this scene for weeks now. I want to start another gate for old time's sake, so please use #churchgate if you want to make your own posts about this!
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burntoutdaydreamer · 11 months
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Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write
I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)
I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.
1) My first draft stays between me and God
I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.
I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.
Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?
Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.
Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.
If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.
2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen
I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.
Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.
If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.
3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word
My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.
I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.
If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.
Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.
4) Write Out of Order
This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.
Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.
I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?
When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.
Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.
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abbysbug · 6 months
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streamer!ellie meeting streamer!reader
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summary: ellie basically being a big gay loser mess around reader
a/n: i’ve been wanting to write about streamer!ellie more so here we are
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
• she loves to go to twitch con. always excited to meet other streamers. the one twitch con she's been so excited to go to is the one you're attending.
• she'd be posting a twitter:
@carpetmuncherwilliams guys in 2 days im about to meet the love of my life!! we're literally gonna get married n have children together :33
@elliewstinks replied is this about y/n?
@carpetmuncherwilliams replied whattt no ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT YOUR USERNAME?? I DONT STINK TF
@yngamez replied cute.
• ellie DIED when she saw your reply. the blush on her face was so embarrassing.
• the day of the convention she was so nervous for multiple reasons. 1) she was meeting you? 2) what if she fucks up in front of you? 3) what if you don't like her?
• there were so many overthinking thoughts in her mind but they were all washed away when she finally met you.
• "ellie! c'mere, sweet girl." you called out to her, holding your hand out for her to take.
• she quickly took your hand in hers, relishing the way your skin felt against hers.
• you were already talking to a group of people but the moment she came over, your attention was given to her and only her. the way you looked at her had ellie blushing like a fool.
• you both hit off well though. talking about random things and getting to know each other on a personal level.
• "so, you maybe wanna hang after this convention is over?" you asked
• before this moment, everything was going well for ellie. she hadn't said anything stupid or embarrassing, but, of course, she fucked up.
• "sure. what's your discord?"
• you giggled at her and shook your head, "i think asking for my number would be more romantic."
• the colour DRAINED from ellie's face. no way she just asked for a cute girls discord. is she really that much of a loser?
• you didn't seem to mind though. you thought it was funny and cute that ellie asked that.
• when you departed ways, your number in ellie's phone, she was over the moon. of course she had to tell twitter about this.
@carpetmuncherwilliams i told you guys i had rizz. just got her number :p
@yngamez replied i wouldn't say your 'rizz' is immaculate as you did ask for my discord instead of my number, but ur cute so i'll let it slide
@buffjesse replied no fucking way you asked for her discord you fucking loser. god you are never gonna hear the end of this. just wait till i tell dina LMFAOOO
@carpetmuncherwilliams replied i hope u choke and die jesse
yeah, she was definitely a loser, but she was your loser.
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thydungeongal · 3 months
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I think it's good as enjoyers of fantasy RPGs to realize that even the greatest fantasy RPGs (Rolemaster) are kind of mired in racialized iconography and it's very pervasive across the whole genre, but that there are better ways of dealing with it than 1) pretending it's not there and 2) trying to put a progressive coat of paint on it.
I'm very much an advocate for "orcs are just some guys." Orcs can be a bit nasty and crude. That I feel is part of their appeal. Humans can also be nasty and crude, and at the end of the day being a bit nasty and crude doesn't make anyone ontologically evil and undeserving of grace! They can also be ugly, because being ugly is not a sin! At the same time it's of course good to move away from depictions of orcs that lean very heavily on racialization!
Attempts to sanitize orcs often fail not because they aren't well-intentioned but because they often end up replicating a bunch of unfortunate tropes from the other side. Turning orcs into essentially elves with tusks of course rejects the idea that orcs are ugly, but instead of doing it by way of "there's beauty to be found in the monstrous" it does it by actually leaning into a very conventional set of beauty standards (including lean, muscular bodies!). Attempts to sanitize orcish culture in turn while trying to keep parts of their culture like them being a "warrior culture" and their focus on strength often end up turning them... Into noble savages. Which isn't great either!!!
Anyway, orcs can be just guys. Get out with that "warrior culture" shit too. No culture has ever subsisted simply on raiding and pillaging. And a culture that has to constantly supplement its own subsistence with raiding is also one that is constantly failing and could not in fact continue to exist for an extended period of time! Of course there are orcish farmers and crafters and laborers at home!
And at the same time orcs can be ugly and a bit crude but none of that makes them evil because being ugly isn't a sin and even if you say "h*ck" and "fuck" doesn't mean you're beyond salvation!
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e--mail · 2 years
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that one Griffin mcelroy pic but it's me as an aging nearly 30yo MCR fan going "I don't understand Volcano Shake em Up and at this point I'm too afraid to ask"
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gaypinebabe · 2 years
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Actually live is a little ok I have friends fanfictions and Tumblr
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Scary Dog Privilege w/ Ghost
PART 2
Tags: civilian!reader, gn!reader, mostly fluff, suggestive at the end, GuardDog!Ghost x Handler!Reader, smug!Ghost. Reader is careful of Ghost's boundaries. Ghost's "outburst" (no idea how to call it tbh) is based on how @valiants drew them here and there. I just love this depiction so much, it's too relatable. 1.3k words.
Part 1.
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“You really need to stop terrorizing the new recruits.”
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Heaving a sigh, you glower at the shiny plaque adorning the mahogany desk you’re sitting at.
Cpt. John Price.
The aforenamed is away for a week, something about a higher-ups seminar. Left you in charge and, when you started to heft some heavy cardboards full of paperwork, he suggested you take his office too. It wasn’t conventional by any means, but what John Price wants, John Price gets.
You imagined that being the big boss would be fun.
You didn't expect his men to be… such a hassle.
Soap could not go one day without getting involved in a fight.
Gaz was sweet as pie to your face, only to use your own gratefulness against you later when he wanted something.
And Ghost. Oh, Ghost. From the very start, he had been playing with you like a cat plays with his food. Acting like your right-hand man. Always by your side, dutiful shadow. His relentless stare was like a torch against the nape of your neck, like the tangible weight of gloved hands on your shoulders. Following instructions but always with a snarky reply, and a smirk on his lips that you could guess behind the mask simply by the look in his eyes. Not mentioning the times you were alone together and he'd stop covering the bottom of his face. Made it easier to drink — tea but also bourbon —, to smoke, to tempt you with his scarred lips—
You shake your head in an attempt to refocus.
Your concentration doesn't last a mere minute that it's already shattered by the slam of a door.
A familiar slam and a familiar door, if that is even possible.
One of your men is acting out again.
You slip through the group massed in front of the room you need to access, ignoring their warnings and brushing off their attempts to make you turn back.
Knocking three times in rapid succession so he knows it's you, you glide in wordlessly, taking care to lock the door behind you so there won't be any interruption. You lean your back against it, taking a moment to assess the situation.
Your eyes linger on the knife lodged into the table before fixing upon the sizable being sitten nearby. Bending at the waist under an invisible force, his elbows rest on his knees while his fingers clutch the part of his mask that covers the back of his head. One word immediately comes to mind— overwhelmed.
His back is turned on you. You can almost distinguish the dark aura he exudes, an inky blackness that matches his t-shirt and his gloves.
You pull away from the door and join him, absently noticing that your steps are loud enough for him to locate you— force of habit.
“Ghost?”
A metaphorical outstretched hand.
Silence.
Stopping behind his back, you instinctively raise a tentative hand— to ensure his attention? To provide comfort?— before halting halfway, reconsidering. Pulling it back, you opt for a verbal approach instead.
“You really need to stop terrorizing the new recruits.”
You can’t help the fond, amused smile that stretches your lips as you say it.
Silence, still.
It doesn't deter you. After all, you’re no stranger to the need to drop verbal communication in favor of onomatopoeias or hand motions.
Nevermind that, you can fill the silence with retelling of your day.
As the quiet remains your only interlocutor for the third time in a row, you decide to cut your losses, at least for today. You’re unsure whether Ghost's in a mood where he'd rather stay alone, or one where he'd appreciate company but only the silent kind. Eyeing the knife again, you reckon it must be the former.
But as you turn around to leave, a pair of arms circle your waist, putting a swift end to your exit. The sudden embrace causes you to sway a bit, nonetheless you keep your cool.
“Changed your mind?”
A light gibe, essentially harmless, but provocating enough to prompt an answer.
He replies with a muffled groan, before pulling you closer and pressing his face into the small of your back. The contact, admittedly unexpected, but not unwelcome, sends shivers down your spine.
“That's certainly an… interesting position,” is all you find to say, picturing the expression someone would make if they were to stumble upon you two.
Twisting around a bit, you manage to see half of him, and use the view to reach back and pat his head. You quickly come to the conclusion that you’re stuck there for a while, same as if a pet cheetah nominated your lap for its nap.
A few moments later, a minute or an eternity, you end up chuckling to yourself. There's a grumble in your shirt, and it takes a second or two for you to comprehend that the grumble is actually words.
“What's so funny?”
You sigh pensively.
“Was thinking about the recruits you scared. They were shaking in their boots when I got here, you'd think they've seen worse than a ghost. But the most formidable thing here is a cuddle monster.”
The limbs around your torso release you unpromptedly, and as you pivot to face the lieutenant, he only has one step to take to corner you against a wall.
“S'that so?”
The sarcasm in his tone is familiar, yet you fail to see what he's getting at.
“... yeah?”
You don’t try to hide the interrogation in your voice; you want your confusion to be known.
He props one forearm on the wall, right by your head, and leans closer to murmur huskily:
“Do I scare you?”
You bite your lower lip not to laugh, his antics evoking some sort of dark, tortured protagonist. Yet, you'd be lying if you pretended this little display was leaving you indifferent.
Hell, you wish you were scared, because then you wouldn’t long to reduce the distance between your two bodies, already scandalously limited.
Wavering about your reply, you ultimately select the truth.
“Not anymore.”
You swear you can make out the corners of his mouth rise behind the mask.
“Good,” he appraises, laconic as ever.
Stricken by a timidity as sudden as it is intense, you start to ramble nervously, avoiding his intense stare.
“No but, for real, you'd laugh too if you'd seen their faces. They were so worried, imploring me not to go. It's like they were convinced you'd eat me alive.”
“Could be arranged.”
The suggestive line has the merit to make you stop dead in your tracks. His insufferable confidence fills you with irritation and arousal yet again.
You can’t let him win this one, you categorically refuse to let him have the last word. So you bring your face even closer to his and purrs:
“It's such a shame you’re wearing a mask, otherwise I would have already shoved my tongue down your—”
He rips off the bottom part of his mask with such haste that it would be comical if you weren't busy being squished between him and the wall the next second. He presses you against the stone the same way he presses his lips against yours— insistent, warm.
Once again, his hands settle on your hips like they belong here, and his thumbs slip under the cloth to stroke your hipbones.
His newfound urgency is the antipodes of the restraint he manifested until now, leaving you short of breath.
A call of your name pulls you apart, but barely, noses almost brushing. You shoot a look at the door just to see the handle lowers in vain. Letting out an amused and relieved scoff, you rest your forehead against Ghost's torso, thanking yourself for locking.
The voice persists, asking if everything's okay. You raise your head but, as you open your mouth to answer, Simon silently orders you to stay quiet with a forefinger across his lips. You frown and mouth silently— no, YOU shut up— before hollering to be heard.
“All good, thanks!”
Obviously, answering is a much better solution than a suspicious silence. Yet Ghost doesn't seem to share that opinion, as he stares at you unimpressed, but you kiss him before he can make any disagreeable comment.
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Hii!!! Your blog is literally so perfect. Love it.
Could you recommend some more angsty fics where either Derek or Stiles is really insecure and has low self esteem? Happy ending only, if that’s alright. I really appreciate it!
Aw thanks anon! There's already an insecure!stiles tag so I focused on insecure!derek.
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The (Tell-Tale) Heart Doesn’t Lie by novemberhush
(1/1 I 100 I General I Sterek)
After a little gentle teasing unexpectedly hits a nerve with Derek Stiles is quick to reassure him that he knows there’s more to the handsome werewolf than just being really, really, really ridiculously good-looking.
I Know the Pieces Fit by shealynn88
(1/1 I 2,700 I Teen)
“Stiles?”
It’s Derek’s voice, quiet in the dark with the low hum of the pack behind him.
Derek's the hardest one for Stiles to understand. Sometimes he thinks…but then it becomes clear, it’s not like that. Derek tolerates him. Appreciates his loyalty, at least. The way Stiles appreciates the brave hiss of a kitten. Cute. Admirable. But not equal.
And Dwell Beneath My Shadow by lielabell
(1/1 I 8,695 I Mature)
Derek is not stupid. He gets why Stiles puts up with him. It's clear every time Stiles looks at him, the spicy scent of lust and arousal Stiles's body can't help but put off. It doesn’t surprise him. Not at all. Derek knows what he looks like, knows that his face and his body are more than enough to compensate for his shitty personality. Stiles wants him more than he is annoyed by him. Nothing more, nothing less. It's not anything to be amazed over, nothing to write home about. Stiles isn't the first-- and most likely won't be the last-- hormone soaked teen who has panted over Derek.
Cliche by adult_disneyprincess (orphan_account)
(2/2 I 9,305 I Teen)
It’s cliché as shit, Stiles thinks. The nerd in love with the punk. He figures he wouldn’t want Derek Hale so much if he didn’t have those fucking tattoos everywhere, didn’t give a shit what people thought about him, and didn’t wear those stupid leather jackets. They’re not the same jacket either, Stiles has counted at least four different ones that the resident punk owns
Cross a Canyon (with a broken limb) by theroguesgambit 
(1/1 I 18,010 I Teen)
“You never graduated,” Stiles says, just to say it. To test it out in the open air. That's... huh.
--
Stiles spends his senior year battling troll-gremlins, taking on an unexpected tutoring job, and definitely not falling for a certain sourwolf (even though everyone else seems to think he is).
Defying Convention by rororowyourboat
(13/13 I 24,331 I Teen)
Stiles is a newly certified fully-trained Spark, and he's on the market to chose a werewolf pack to act as Emissary for. The biggest problem? Almost every pack in North America wants him, and he's supposed to choose a pack at the 3-day conference. But how's he supposed to get to know any of the likely candidates when they're just being so damn polite and respectful?
Derek and his sisters are at the conference with bleak hopes: their pack was decimated by hunters years ago and their caustic attitudes have turned away most potential applicants.
Rarity by peanutbutter4lyfe
(8/8 I 29,837 I Explicit)
Derek let's the guys throw a party for Stiles' 18th at his loft and instantly regrets it. During the party Derek starts acting strangely, his senses going wild. He reads the signs and thinks Scott is his mate. It drives him crazy when Scott doesn't feel the same, until he figures it out... with a little help from Peter.
Thanks for Thumper, But I Prefer Cheeseburgers by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)
(1/1 I 58,399 I Teen)
The wolf’s head whipped around so fast, Stiles felt like he was watching The Exorcist.
Stiles wondered if he could just stand still enough to make the wolf think he was a tree. A very bright red and jean-clad tree. He doubted it, but one could hope.
He knew it was a lost cause when the wolf turned fully, lips pulled back from its sharp teeth—so very sharp, good fucking Lord!—and began walking towards Stiles.
“I didn’t see anything!” Stiles shouted, both hands out in front of himself and sweat instantly breaking out across his skin. “I swear to you! I didn’t see anything! I didn’t see anything! I won’t tell anyone! I won’t! I’ll keep this to myself, until the day I die! I promise! I promise!”
You're stronger than you know by Littleredridinghunter
(15/15 I 234,195 I Not Rated)
Stiles survives his encounter with Gerard and his goons, but it isn't easy.
The pack are letting him down again, his dad is not speaking to him, his life is just generally falling apart.
Until he has to get a bronze dagger to kill a siren and his whole world gets flipped on it's head!
My summaries are rubbish but I hope you'll still give it a chance!
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