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russellsppttemplates · 26 days

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We don't fit together (Lando Norris)

Your lifestyle is so different to Lando's that maybe everyone else is right

Note: english is not my first language. I'm not sure how I feel about this, it's like a love hate relationship with it to be completely honest... I hope it's still enjoyable to read! Update: there's a part 2 here !

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions reader's insecurities about herself and about her relationship with Lando, alcohol consumption

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

Lando facetimes and he's going to a club wherever he is

"Hello, baby!", Lando greeted with a bug smile when you picked up his video call.

"Hey love, congrats on your podium!", you smiled back, now able to congratulate him face to face even if through a screen, "Don't you look handsome, hm?", you bit your lip once he set the phone and clasped his bracelets on his wrist.

The outfit was simple but he made it look so good. He was wearing black jeans, a white t-shirt and a backwards black cap was covering his curls. Had he been right in front of you, you would have already laced your arms around his neck and littered little kisses along the tanned skin.

"Thank you, baby", he blushed slightly, "Max and Kelly are also going to the club where Martin is playing tonight", he smiled, "it's really good and it's supposed to have the craziest nights out in town, so we're going to check it out - I miss you loads, can't wait to go back home", he mused.

"Me too, but I'm glad you're having a good time out there! I'm not going to say I wish I was there because it doesn't look like my scene, but I can't wait to have you with me, love", you giggled.

"That's true, I don't think it would be very enjoyable for you", Lando agreed, "we're leaving in the morning, which will be night time for you, so I'll text you updates and then when I arrive we can have an early dinner in that restaurant you really like near my place and then you could spend the night. How does that sound?", he suggested.

"Sounds good to me", you smiled at the prospect. Time couldn't go by faster.

"I have to go, baby - Max and Kelly are already downstairs waiting for me! I love you and I can't wait to kiss your gorgeous face", he winked.

"Go enjoy yourself, Lan, you deserve it! Give my congratulations to Max and send Kelly a hug from me. I love you!", you blew him a kiss before he ended the call.

Work commitments and some family situations had kept you from going to the race weekend. It was a common thing to happen but it still left you missing Lando like crazy, counting down the hours until he was on your arms again.

You finished cooking your dinner, ate it and then headed to the living room, ready to unwind and start your bedtime routine, getting a selfie from Kelly with Max and Lando in it too, the club lights illuminating then enough to tell them apart.

When you woke up, like promised, Lando had sent you a text saying he had boarded the jet and everything was on schedule. Opening the text, you saw that a few hours before he had also sent you a video.

It was less than a minute, but you could see Martin and Lando at the DJ table, happily interacting with the crowd before mixing some music up and dancing along, "I love you, baby!", Lando said into the phone before he ended the video.

You did your morning workout, showered and while you were having breakfast, you scrolled through your social media, seeing some edits from the race and a couple of videos from the club Lando, amongst other drivers, partied in.

The first one was a different angle from the one you had been sent, someone on the dance floor recording it and sending it to a fan page.

They usually didn't say much other than stating facts about the video, where it was taken, who was in it and who had sent it. This one, however, seemed to spark up the conversation as a lot of people had opinions about it.

He just looks so good 🥵 I'd never be able to leave his side if I was with him!

He always has the best night out spots

He just looks so happy when he's doing it, it's great he has friends who support him in it outside of racing

Scrolling down, a gossip page post popped up. Unlike the other videos, this one was in a controlled environment and it seemed to be from someone on the VIP area. You could see Lando and Martin talking to a group of people before the girl flipped the camera, speaking into her phone as subtitles showed "I can't believe this, it's Lando Norris! Fp you think we should go up to him? I bet he's here alone as usual", the blonde girl said as she swept her hair over her shoulder. She looked stunning, hair curled to perfection and make-up done in such a complementing way it showed skills you knew you didn't have yourself, "I've seen Max and Kelly, and Carlos was just at the bar I think", another girl with short black hair said.

"You know what I mean, he's never here with what's her face", she giggled tipsily.

Dating Lando meant that you were exposed to these type of interactions from people online on a daily basis, more frequently whenever he posted you or you joined him for the race weekend. On the comments, some people alerted the page admin and the girl who sent the video about how offensive it was and how they didn't have the right to talk about you like that, but it didn't seem to do much as other people left their opinion.

He'd be so much better without her, did you see the article where someone at the club said he left with another girl? She's done for...

It wouldn't surprise me tbh, there's only so much it can work before you realise you don't have similar interests and things are not making you happy

Lando would be so good with someone who is in the public eye, can you imagine all the content we would get?

Shaking it off of your body, you closed the app and locked your phone, taking a deep breath as your mind started filling with all sorts of doubts.

At the start, noise from the media was easy to reason with, but lately it was all you could think about. Every week with every interaction Lando had with another woman, they would suggest he was in a relationship despite knowing you were dating eachother. You didn't understand why, but they had even taken the extra step of having someone comment on it and give their opinion on it, as if there was an opinion to give on who he dated and didn't date.

Getting up, your put some music on your headphones and started tidying the house. You couldn't sort your thoughts out, so might as well deal with the mess on your apartment.

"I missed you so much", Lando said once you opened the door, his arms instantly wrapping around your body and walking you backwards, closing the door with his foot, "hello, my love", he said, nipping a few kisses on your neck before he looked up, finally kissing your lips after having spent so long away from you.

"Hello, Lan", you cupped his face, kissing his lips again as his hands roamed along your waist and back, "I'm so glad you're back home", you smiled.

"Me too, especially when I'm greeted like this", he smirked, looking you up and down. In the last two years, you still hadn't gotten fully used to the way he would look at you.

His heart swelled with pride because you were his, all for him and no one else, "I love this colour on you", he kissed your exposed clavicle, "as much as I'd love to continue this, we have reservations to get to", he smiled before licking the spot he just kissed, "let's go, gorgeous", he encouraged, making you get your coat and bag and put on your shoes, ready to go.

Lando got VIP entrances to a fairly new club, and since Max was in town, too, you decided to join them on a night out. Despite the opinions everyone on the internet seemed to have, you did enjoy going out, just not every week or even every month. Shutting down your laptop after sending the last e-mail, you went to shower and start getting ready.

Making sure the towell was secure on your head and the robe was soaking up all the water remnants from your skin, you walked up to your wardrobe, running your fingers through the options you had for tonight. Settling in an outfit you felt both comfortable and beautiful in, you were quick to dry yourself and change, grabbing a simple black bag out of your closet and then heading to the bathroom for hair and make-up. You clipped your loose waves away from your face once they were dry while you applied some foundation to even out your skin tone, hiding the dark circles that came with the little sleep you'd gotten that week, bronzing, highlighting and contouring what needed, doing your brows and applying some mascara to your lashes. You weren't too fussed about makeup, choosing to stay on the simpler side of things, not bothering with the little moles and pimples that still showed through as you'd end up with your face resembling a pancake instead.

Checking if you were on time, you grabbed your watch and bracelets and clasped them to your wrist before clasping your necklace on your neck and putting simple hoop earrings, appreciating your final look in the mirror.

Not too much, not too little, but you didn't look like the girls your boyfriend was rumoured to be dating. The article came from a magazine where they had analysed everyone they thought would suit Lando and his lifestyle, and even though you tried yo ignore it, Lando was the first to come to your place and tell you, in person, that he had nothing to do with those girls and most of them he didn't even knew personally anyway, spending the rest of the night in your bed reminding how much he loved you and only you.

Lando was coming to pick you up soon, so you headed to the living room to wait for him. A knock on the door announced his presence, "I'm here to pick up the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world - my girlfriend", he charmed before taking a good look at you, "you're stunning, baby, breath taking", he gasped.

"C'mon, let's go", you urged, your cheeks blushing at the attention he was giving you, "Baby girl, a little twirl for me first", he smirked, as you did it, "we're both one good looking couple, aren't we?", he added, kissing your cheek as you played with the thin chain around his neck, "you look great, handsome, so great", you kissed his throat before closing the door behind you.

As you walked inside the club with Lando, who laced your hand in his as soon as he saw the crowded place, you took it all in.

It would be a lie to say that your senses hadn't been invaded all at once when you stepped into the VIP area of the club, different kinds of substances in the air and some perfume notes invading your nose, lights flashing your eyes as the loud music rang in your ears and drummed on your feet.

Lando carefully guided you through the people - the less crowded zone helping your movements -, always keeping you close as he looked for Max and Martin.

"Hey! You finally made it!", Max said as he greeted you, "Y/N, fancy sering you here! You look amazing as always", he complimented your black pants and emerald green one shoulder top outfit.

"Hi, I'm Martin, have we met before?", he asked after he pulled you for a half hug, "I don't think so, no, I'm Y/N", you smiled at his kindness and welcoming demeanour.

"You weren't joking when you said you were going to bring special company tonight", the dutch DJ nudged Lando with his elbow before fistbumping his hand.

"My special lady only goes out when the music is really good, so you should feel honoured, mate", Lando tsked, kissing the side of your head and smiling down at you. He was so happy you were there with him.

"The bar is over there, c'mon! Let's go and get something", Max suggested, leading the way with Martin right behind him as Lando's hands squeezed your waist again as he guided you to the bar, occasionally nodding to acquaintances you two bumped into.

Getting yourself a drink and Lando grabbing something non-alcoholic for him, "I'm driving us both home tonight, I don't want to do anything irresponsible", he reasoned as the four of you engaged in conversation about the set Lando and Martin would be doing. You had always been a kept to yourself type of person, not really letting people in until you knew for sure what their intentions were, but having Lando and Max there gave you enough ease to chat with Martin too while you waited for them to go up to the booth.

Granted this wasn't your usual choice of plans, you had been out enough times to know what it entailed and what to expect, a lot of people you didn't know coming up to greet your boyfriend, some seeming closer friendships to him that others.

"Are you okay, baby? We'll have to go up in a bit, do you want to stay here or go up there?", he questioned, "I need to go to the bathroom, I won't be long hopefully, but I can meet you up there when I come back - do you think that will be okay?", you wondered, "yes, of course! Just wave at me or Max if anyone gives you any trouble, beautiful", he kissed you, "I love you", he mumbled against your lips, squeezing your hips softly before Martin pulled on his arm.

On your way to the bathroom, you accidentally touched the railing on the stairs when you were set your cup down on the designated area, the liquid on it making your squirm a little as you held out your hand like you had touched poison. For all you knew, it could be something like that.

There were two girls waiting to use one of the stalls, prompting you to gently slot yourself in front of them, "sorry, but do you mind if go first just now? I just need to wash my hand and then I'll be back to the line", you asked politely as they nodded, the first one going to the stall that freed up and making room for you as the other girl stepped out. Her face was familiar as you took a glance in the mirror, and from the smile she gave you through the mirror, you assumed she probably recognised you too.

Washing your hands again when you came out of the stall, you walked to the bar and got yourself a bottle of water, noticing your boyfriend already pressing and tapping the buttons on the mixing table as everyone danced and many captured the moment on their phones while you waited. The booth looked tight and, truthfully, quite exposed, so you decided to stay where you had been previously, still able to enjoy yourself and dance while you watched Lando and Martin.

Max must've thought the same as he spotted you a few minutes later, twirling you around before he set his drink on the high table.

"Ruby!", Max yelled as the girl from the bathroom walked up to him and gave him a hug followed by another girl you assumed was her friend, introducing her to Max before turning to you.

"You're Y/N, right?", she asked, noticing your surprised expression, "sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt - I'm Ruby, this is my friend Katie", she introduced, "we bumped into you in the bathroom, and it looked like you knew who I was", she clarified, still noticing apprehension from you, "I know Lando - we're acquaintances, I guess", she said.

"I'm so sorry, your face was familiar but I didn't know where from", you apoligised, "I kept going over in my head but I couldn't pinpoint where I knew you from", you gulped.

Up close and in the club environment, you were now sure of why her face was so familiar. She was one of the girls the gossip magazine page mentioned. She was gorgeous and from the way people greeted her, she seemed to attend many parties and nights out at that club.

"It's okay - Lando has told me about you, by the way", she smiled before her friend pitched in, "it's so nice to finally see you here, it's a good thing you came here to see him. I didn't think it would suit you, but it does look like you're having a good time", Katie offered before sipping from her drink.

"Yes, it's quite fun actually, Martin and Lando are a good duo I'd say", you smiled, pushing the backhanded compliment to the back of your mind for now.

"Do you want something to drink, Y/N? I can get it for you!", Max offered and you shook your head no, thanking him for his offer but politely declining as you saw him walk to the bar with Ruby.

"How has your night been, Y/N?", she tried to start up a conversation and appear put together even though it was clear she had drank over her limit, "I never see you here with Lando - he usually hangs out with us when he isn't pretending to be a world famous DJ", she giggled, "so are you enjoying it? I know it's not really your scene".

"It's not my usual, no, but I enjoy a night out every now and again", you remained polite, "He's really happy when he does it and he gets to relax a little and forget his troubles for a bit, it's a good thing".

"He's really funny, yes, and charming too", she hiccuped, "I'm sure people come here for a good night out anyway, but I just know that most of these people here", she pointed to the people dancing, "are here for him because they know he enjoys a good party and they do too - I guess they're hoping their similar interests will cross paths", she smiled.

She was really trying to get to you, and much to your disappointment in yourself, she was successfully doing it.

"That's how he is wired, you know? Parties after parties, living it up with all the luxury he has access to, and at such a young age, he has everything on his fingertips, anyone even! It's just a matter of him choosing what he really wants", she added, straightening herself against the table when Ruby walked back with Max.

"What were you two chatting about?", Ruby asked as she set the drinks on the table, Max doing the same with his.

"I was just telling Y/N how it usually is around here, but tonight they've upped their game because Lando is playing, look at him!", Katie pointed at your boyfriend before she started dancing around.

"He's really fun at these functions", Ruby offered, "looks like it is something he enjoys doing", she said in an earnest tone, and for a few seconds, you wanted to believe she wasn't digging at you like her friend was and was just stating a fact.

Lando had a big smile on his face. His skin was glowing both from his tan and the sheen of the sweat from how warm it was up there, occasionally holding Martin's hand when he hugged him from behind and rested his hand on his sternum. All troubles were put to a halt when he enjoyed his time off with friends doing things he loved.

Once the set was over and the speakers played what you assumed was some random playlist for the moment, Lando and Martin came back to join you at the table, "did you enjoy it, Y/N?", Martin asked.

"I did, it was very good!", you smiled, feeling Lando's hands on your waist before his mouth whispered on your ear, "Hi, baby" and kissed your neck.

"Did you stay here for the whole set?", he wondered, "yes, it looked a little cramped up in there so I stayed here with Max, then Ruby and Katie joined us for a bit", you nodded with your eyes as Katie seemed to notice your eyes on here, waving back at you and Lando.

"Oh, Ruby - she's nice, I met her girlfriend the last time I was here - so that's her friend?", he mused turning fully around to face you.

"Should be, we didn't really talk much", you shrugged your shoulders.

"Did you really enjoy it, Y/N? You can say no and we'll be out of here of you don't want to stay", Lando offered, "I myself am getting quite tired actually", he said as he rested his hand on top of his stomach.

"I did, you did really well up there, and you looked really handsome", you smirked, twirling a curly lock that fell on his forehead.

It didn't take long before people started leaving, the night already mostly done with after Lando danced with you for a bit, noticing you seemed to also have spent most of your battery and wete in deep need of going back home. Bidding goodbye to everyone, you and Lando made your way to his car as he drove you back to his apartment where you had planned to spend the night.

Taking your heels off and putting on your slippers, you waited for Lando to lock the door and join you in the living room, thumbs fiddling with eachother.

Noticing your behaviour, Lando knocked on the door and approached you gently, "You alright, baby? You've been quiet since before we left the club. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Is your tummy upset? Or is it your head", he listed the possible causes of your discomfort.

He was however missing the point. It seemed you both missed it until now. For you at least anyway, he still didn't notice it.

Better late than never.

"I'm not judging your choices, it's not my place and definitely not on this... but... do you think we work?", you quesioned, your lips trembling slightly as all emotions seemed to come back to the front. How different you were, how his interests weren't similar to yours, how his happiness was something you were getting in the way of.

"What do you mean if we work?", Lando asked, genuinely not understanding your question.

"We're so different, Lando. Your lifestyle has nothing similar to mine, and I'm not even talking about money - that's a pretty obvious one and something not most humans can do anyway -, I'm talking about being the soul of the party, always ready to go on to the next night out and plan everything surrounding it. I don't do nightlife like you do, I barely do it at all. And that's okay for me as it is okay for you with what you do", you clarified.

"What are you saying, Y/N?", he inquired, a new tone of defensiveness in his voice.

"I'm saying we don't fit together like that", you let the words out, your heart shattering as each syllable came out.

"Y/N, that doesn't mean anything", Lando began, "sure, there are different interests that we don't have in common and that we don't share, but that doesn't make it not work between us! Why would it?", he argued, "it sounds to me like you're calling our relationship out because I like to go out and you don't and I don't agree with it".

"Lando, it hurts, it's painful", you stated, tears falling from your eyes at your admission.

It caught him off guard and his brain shifted somewhere else. To the promise he made you and the promise he made himself. He would never make you hurt and he would never be the cause of your pain.

"Y/N, baby, we can talk about this better when we've gathered our thoughts", he tried even though any suggestion he could make would potentially increase your pain. And he couldn't bear to do that.

"No one would ever see you and see me and say that we were good together, it just took us longer to see what they have noticed so long ago - so much so that they think you deserve someone else", you murmured.

"But I don't need anyone else's opinion when I have you", he mused softly, wanting to take your hand in his but you still fiddled with your thumbs before wiping your cheeks.

"Y/N, I promise that whatever is going on in your head is not the truth - your mins is telling you awful lies. I love you so much and I don't think like that", he tried to reason, "That's not what we are".

"I want to go home", you gulped, "I'm going to get an Uber", you announced, looking at a broken Lando.

"Can I drive you there, please?", he asked, himself feeling like prolonging the argument would only lead to worse but needing to make sure you felt he wouldn't give up, "I'd feel better being in charge of the car taking you home than anyone else at this time", he reasoned.

"You won't ask me anything else? Can we do it in silence?", you asked. The words had a bitter taste on your mouth like they didn't belong there. Chatting with Lando was one of your favourite things in the world, hearing his voice and his giggles, those were the best sounds ever known to man.

"Okay, if that's how you want it", Lando assured, grabbing his keys while you put your shoes back on along with your coat.

The drive to your apartment was agonisingly silent. Lando wanted to ask you where this left your relationship, you wanted to ask him if what he said was true.

"We're here", Lando announced, stopping the car and getting out, waiting for you to get out and meet him by the driver's seat door, "I- Y/N, is this goodbye?", he worked himself up to ask, "because I don't want that, we can talk about his and sort it out, please, this is what we do, love", he pleaded.

"Can we talk about it another day? I can't think straight tonight, and I don't want to say things that will hurt you because of that", you suggested.

"Sure", Lando sighed, "whenever you're ready. I love you, Y/N", he looked into your eyes, refraining from kissing your forehead even though that was all he wanted to do.

"Thank you, for this and for bringing me home, Lan, I love you", you looked back into his eyes.

He was hurt, too, and the last three words you said seemed to have brought anger to the mix as well. There was a grey hue and the sparkle was lost despite the moon glistening.

"Have a good night, baby, I love you more than words can say, and I will fight for you and for us, even if I'm the only one in the battlefield, I'll fight for both of us", he assured.

Part 2

#lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris fic #lando norris fluff #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

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sourbinnie · 10 months

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☆ regrets & replacements ☆ (2)

♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> angst with a hopeful ending ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> hyung line!skz x gn!reader ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> it's not about making up, it's about owning up to your mistakes. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> swearing ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!

a/n -> BEFORE YOU READ ; if you're expecting an angsty ending, this is not gonna please you but if you expected everything to be happy and good in the end, this isn't for you either. i really did try to write a part where they fully make up and i couldn't do it. i don't even if it's my angsty side kicking in or if it's just instinct where i just don't find it possible for that to happen. i also didn't feel like giving in and making it sad as hell because i got requested to do something happy and i'm sorry if i disappointed that person. i literally couldn't do it:( and i'm really sad with myself about this one, i would say this is a neutral ending and i'm gonna leave it at that.

first part -> hyung line

chan ✉

waking up with no chan next to you was rare. your birthday was gone now but not your feelings and that sucked because that meant you would have to talk to chan about what happened. you didn't feel bad about not explaining it to him, you kinda hoped he already realized his mistake but even if he did it wouldn't change the course of things right now.

as you got up and walked to your living room, you saw the never ending pile of gifts. the flowers, the cake, the different things the boys got you and of course your boyfriend chan. he looked tired as hell, bags under his eyes and just overall the energy he usually had wasn't there. he looked at you and sighed when he saw the the reddish eyes from crying but he still had hope in him.

"you know getting me stuff won't make me forgive you that easily channie." you said and chan nodded as he heard your words. he wasn't doing this to earn your forgiveness, he knew he didn't deserve that in the end. but he still wanted you to have a birthday, even if the day had gone by, you deserved a celebration and he would leave if you asked him to because he just respected you that much.

"this isn't for you to forgive me even if i am so fucking sorry. this is because you deserved a good day yesterday and because your boyfriend's an idiot, he ruined that." he muttered and it was your time to nod as you listened to him. there was no easy way to forgive him really because what he did hurt you so deeply and this was beyond just forgetting.

"why did you do that chan? i mean i don't really expect you to always remember my birthday but i wasn't expecting to find out that you spend it with someone who deeply hates me." you explained and felt like you were going to cry again thinking about it. it wasn't fair to you and chan knew better than that, he didn't want to push it but he did want to fix things. losing you was not in his mind right now, he needed to make things right.

"when soohee called me yesterday i left without a comment because i truly was worried that something happened to her. it turned out she broke up with her boyfriend and whatever, begged me to stay with her and everything just went by so fucking fast. i didn't notice anything and i just-." he had to cut himself off because he knew he was rambling and he was desperate to make things okay but he was feeling so broken. thinking about you being all alone and waiting for him to come back was probably gonna haunt him and that made the tears build up in his eyes. "i know i don't deserve it (y/n) but please let me make it right."

you looked at him as you took in everything. you wanted to believe him because you knew chan and you knew how kind hearted he was when it came to his friends. you saw how he realized that soohee wasn't who he thought she was and it's hard losing a friend, you hated that this was all happening and felt absolutely betrayed but you were not heartless and chan crying always made you feel the worst way.

"channie, i don't know if i'm gonna be able to forgive you right now. but i would really like to spend the day with you because i missed you so much yesterday." you said and he could feel himself crying more but understanding. he was so scared that this was gonna be the end but he was given another chance. you got close to him and as soon as you were next to him, he wrapped his arms around you.

"i'll make it right, i promise." he mumbled through tears and you really hoped he would. drying the tears from his face with your thumb as you gave him a little kiss on the lips and he smiled again. it wasn't quite alright yet but the wound would heal eventually.

minho ✉

you knew it wasn't gonna be easy to go through the night all by yourself. of course you had your friends there but usually having minho by your side made things easier. jisung stayed by your side, disappointed in his friend and sad to witness the falling out but he was rooting for him to show up and make things right. the night was still young and he had been texting minho to come over even if you told him not to. jisung knew better though, he could read you and your eyes were always at the door.

when minho arrived at the place, he sighed deeply and prayed that he could fix this. the boys greeted him but jisung had a look on his face of "make this right" and it was scary. he wasn't the type to be afraid but if he did lose you today, that would be his biggest fear coming true and he didn't know what he would do without you.

he saw you looking as beautiful as ever out on the balcony. he had you all alone, he needed to talk and he needed to choose his words carefully before thinking of the worst.

"minho? i told you not to show up." you said but you didn't sound confident in your words. he could tell there was a mix of anger and sadness in your tone and it was all because of him, this wasn't going to be easy.

"i could not miss my partner's birthday even if i screwed up everything." he said and looked at you. you weren't even looking in his direction but he was captured by your beauty every time he glanced at you and it was beyond your outfit and how you did your hair. he got so lucky with you and knowing that this could be the last night he saw you would kill him slowly. "i can't lose you (y/n) and i know everything's beyond wrong right now but i just need you."

"i didn't feel bad that you forgot or even that you were with her of all people. but you lied to me and we've never had an instance where i felt like things were beyond repair but right now i just don't know what to say minho." you said and you didn't want to cry right now but it was all too much. he felt like crying himself as he saw those spill from your eyes because like you said, there wasn't a situation that you lived before where you guys wouldn't make up and he felt you slipping away from him.

"don't say that, i don't deserve you and i should've remembered in the first place. i choose someone who doesn't understand that i met the love of my life already and that i'm not gonna give up on them. i won't put you second ever again (y/n) and i know you probably won't believe me right now but i truly do mean it." he said confidently and you looked at him, meeting his honest eyes. "i lied i know and i thought i was making things better by keeping soohee away from everyone. i cut her off and i know i should've done it sooner."

you took his hand in yours as you looked down. he knew you did this when you were nervous, when you needed to hold or do something to distract you so he just let you.

"i can't forgive you even if i want to because all i wanted was for you to show up and explain yourself." you said and it warmed his heart. even if he let you down, you always believed in him and will always wait for him. "minho i love you, would you give me time?"

"all the time you need, i'll be here waiting for you as long as it takes." he responded and even if it hurt that things went so wrong, there was a glimpse of hope in the end. "i love you more (y/n)." he then said and you kissed his cheek as you headed inside.

changbin ✉

waking up to someone yelling over the phone wasn't really what you had in mind. you went to the living room where all the noise was coming from and you saw changbin looking as tired as he could be. you really didn't expect for him to stay in your apartment and for him to be mad was rare.

"changbin what's going on?" you asked genuinely concerned because even if all the events from yesterday were on your mind, you cared too much about him to not be there if he needed you. on the other hand, changbin couldn't take that you still were looking at him with caring eyes, he deserved to be yelled at and deserved to be kicked out.

"i'm cutting someone out of my life and they didn't make it easy. as soon as they started insulting you, i had to say some things that were not quite nice but i don't regret it." he responded and you could imagine who he was talking about. it still surprised you that he did that because even if you hated her, you knew that changbin in the end cared about her but from how angry he was you could see there was no going back.

"you didn't have to do that changbin." you muttered and he was so sad to hear that, not because of soohee and cutting off their "friendship" but because you genuinely thought he shouldn't have defended you. "i mean it's not like you didn't go there yesterday and spent all day with her when she needed you."

"stop that right now. first of all, i know what i did and i'm always gonna be fucking sorry about not being here with you, celebrating your day and choosing someone who clearly wanted this to happen all along." changbin said and you were glad he was now finally realizing but you also felt like it was too late. "but i'm not gonna hear you say that you don't want me to defend you because i'm always gonna be choosing you even if you want me to go right now, you will always be the one for me. i'm genuinely serious (y/n), i don't want soohee and i'm never gonna want her because i am in love with you."

"and i'm always gonna be in love with you but it doesn't change the fact that you hurt me." you said and he nodded now getting what you meant and how you felt. there might no be going back from this one and he just wanted to disappear right then and there.

"tell me what i can do to fix this. i'll do anything you want me to because i swear i can't live without you." he begged basically and you could hear his voice getting higher pitched. it wasn't common for him to cry and if you saw him cry, you would end up crying as well.

"binnie i don't know. this is not the end and i don't want you to leave, can we pretend for a while that yesterday didn't happen?" you said and he looks at you. his eyes filled with tears but he still finds the strength to hold on to you and give you a hug. you felt like you needed to be in his arms, maybe even more so yesterday than today but right now is all you have and your birthday is long gone.

"i will make it up to you, i swear i will." he whispered as he kissed your forehead. you let the tears go, staining his shirt but he didn't care as long as he had you in his arms where you belonged.

hyunjin ✉

to your dismay and your surprise at the same time, he was knocking at your door an hour later. you knew it was him, he had been spamming your phone ever since you left the building but you couldn't even respond from how disappointed you were. even now you were doubting if you should open the door or leave him knocking all night but you couldn't do that without a neighbor complaining so you decided to head to the entrance and open the door.

"i told you not to come. go back to soohee or whatever you had in mind for today." you said and you wanted to close the door again but he stopped you before you could do it. you looked as he walked into your apartment and took in his appearance. he looked like he almost ripped his hair out and like he had been crying, so pretty much like you did right now.

"i don't even know where to start." he said pacing back and forth and as much as you wanted to hate him, you grabbed his hand and sat down with him before he kept spinning around your apartment. that action alone was enough to calm him down but the glare you were giving him was making him doubt himself all over again. "the only thing i have in mind right now is the fact that i don't want to lose you because i was so fucking stupid."

"you were and i truly don't know how you're gonna get out of this one jinnie. this is beyond it being my birthday just why? why didn't you pick up? why did you show up with her? why didn't you defend me? i feel so stupid." you expressed and the tears were rolling again but so were hyunjin's because he could not stand seeing you cry. you didn't have to feel stupid, he was the stupid one and the one that messed everything up on a special day.

"i didn't pick up because she kept telling me that it was an unknown number calling and hanged it up for me. i showed up with her because she told me she would help me pick up your present at the end of practice and i didn't defend you because i truly wasn't expecting her to say that. i thought she was my friend and i thought she cared about me but i had to kick her out as soon as i saw it all go down." he said in between tears and rambles. you didn't want him to justify himself or his actions but it was nice hearing his side even if you were still very much hurt by everything that happened.

"hyunjin i always told you how i don't want to interfere in your friendships but she has always hated me and you put her first." you said and he nodded, he was already accepting defeat because he truly did fuck it up this time. you pushed the tears away because you didn't feel like crying anymore and yet they wouldn't stop.

"i'll leave, you don't deserve to spend the rest of your birthday with someone who did you wrong." he said and even in all this pain, it still hurt when hyunjin didn't fight it anymore. there was a point in all the fights that you've had where he gave up because he could not take in your anger or your sadness, he just wanted to see you smile again. right now he felt like he was holding back what could be a good day for you because it was still your birthday after all and he didn't want to ruin it anymore.

"hyunjin, stay. i can't say that i'm past it yet but i just wanna be with you right now even after all that happened, i just don't see myself going out celebrating if it's not with you by my side." you said, giving him a little smile through all the tears. he got closer to you as he placed a kiss on your lips which you responded to, the most hurtful one you shared yet.

"i'll stay for as long as you want me to and i'll leave if you need me to." he whispered and you nodded because everything was hurting but his words would always find a way to your heart. his hand on your cheek as he caressed it slowly and you met for another kiss.

#sourbinnie #skz imagines #skz reactions #skz scenarios #skz x you #skz x reader #skz drabbles #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz angst #skz #chan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader

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n3ptoonz · 4 months

Note

Part 2 of MK1 men pushing the reader to a wall while kissing them, please? 😊

i mean i GUESS i can do that 🤭 since you asked so nicely! part one here

how liu kang, reiko, sub-zero, havik, johnny cage, scorpion, and geras go about pushing reader to the wall while kissing them

just know it may not show the long pauses i took while writing this but know IT HAPPENED!! THE THINGS I DO FOR YALL🫵🏾don't say i never did none😫

havik's regeneration mentioned. i've also been told havik looks like that on purpose so like, let's act like he can make his face go back to where it was for the sake of shits, giggles, and pandering XD

tags: @luna18night20 @momopad

warnings: suggestive, fluff elements, sphinx tried her best, there will not be a part 3 im sorry y'all 💔

Liu Kang

Liu Kang was rarely ever rough with you. In fact, the only way he'd do it is if you either verbally say it's fine, or if he knows you're poking the bear just to get a reaction. And when you get a reaction...there's no going back. You've kissed with your back to the wall several times, and every time was gentle and loving and laced with care. However, if you've presented that you were that desperate for him to give you the attention you deserve, he will gladly be a little rougher in pushing you back with his lips on yours. Just be prepared for him to leave some handprints on your waist.

Reiko

Reiko is a warrior. Hardened by battle and discipline, so the way he kisses you usually starts off that way. He can't help it. Not only is it the way he was raised and what he was told a man is "supposed to be", but it also came with how his partners were to be treated. When it came to you his sense of duty and protection spiked every single time. So here you were, well within his unintentional bear hug as your back was against the wall. His kisses always started off like he was going away to war/fight (because he usually was) but he would eventually melt and become smoother because you're by his side.

Sub-Zero

Bi-Han, a truly complex character. I believe that whoever captures his heart will be the main obsession in his life. In this case, it is you. He constantly needs to be on you, around you, see you, hear you, you name it. He can't get enough of your lips and this is especially apparent the way he's almost always pushing you to the wall while kissing you. Can we blame him? He's a tall hunk of touch-starved and the only thing that will satiate that hunger is roughly making out with you every chance he gets all while still knowing how to treat you like a porcelain antique.

Havik

Havik...this guy. Even though I'm pretty sure it's not canon I still feel like he'd regenerate and degenerate for fun and for different purposes/occasions. For the sake of my sanity I can say I found him fine as hell before his face got fucked up, and so did you. But you don't mind him either way because you love his crazy ass. Allow me to set the scene: You say something snappy to get his attention and boom...he regenerates his facial wounds just to back you against the wall and shut you up with pure smugness and arrogance behind his kiss. But, this is what you wanted, nonetheless. And you'd do it again!

Johnny Cage

Who's to say Johnny Cage wouldn't try to get you in one of his films just so he could keep getting takes of him backing you to a wall and kissing you? For Elder God's sakes, he's the one who wrote the script! And of course it's something dramatic like him being a villain that captures the hero and tries to convince them to ditch their position to be with him. Dude would totally think he's Loki (did i say that bc i think it would be hot if Loki did that to me? ..don't worry about it!) He's for sure fucking up his takes on purpose and you know this, but you only pretend to be irritated and maybe even fuck up a few yourself.

Scorpion

Kuai Liang, the romantic this man is. Like Liu Kang, he's never rough with you. Except it would take a little more convincing to let him know it's fine for him to act on his feelings when he wants to. With him, his kisses are slow and gentle. They will always start off like that even if he has a hard day. All he wants is to hold you, but it's like whenever your back hits the wall a gear starts turning in his brain. The idea of you having nowhere to go and enjoying it? Not even an Elder God is pulling him from your embrace. He gets handsy and a lot more affectionate around this time; he's kissing your face, neck, and shoulders too, because why the hell not?

Geras

Geras is a special case. He's an immortal who has never experienced romantic love before. So naturally you will have to teach him some things and even point out things he has observed that can be taken as romantic love. But he's still a man who has seen a lot, so this guy knows what kissing is and how to kiss. Surely you didn't think this giant fine ass immortal being didn't know how to treat his partner? Crazy talk! Understand that when you introduce the classic wall kiss by showing him what to do, he's leaning in to kiss you as he lifts you in his arms with no effort to be found and there won't be kissing going on much longer!

a/n: thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed! collapses onto the ground

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twst-rose-prisms · 28 days

Text

Twst boys preferences for their partners

First of all, sorry for taking so long my rosies 😭😭 schools have been getting to me and I'm trying to catch up with the twst stuff again such as reading the story to understand the characters better! My bestie @twst-megane has been helping me a lot with this once again so tysm 🙏🙏🙏

Characters: All NRC students (except Ortho) x Reader Genre: Fluff Reminder: This is just a headcanon post, so even if you aren't your loved one's preference, do not worry! Remember, love might have preference, but it's never the final thing that decides one's partner, so rest assured~ Your lovely twst boys love you no matter what 🌹❤️ Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (coming soon)

🐙 Azul 🐙

- If you manage to date a charismatic, handsome guy like him then I'd say his s/o is the world's luckiest person ever~ He isn't a person who would easily give his heart to someone else considering what happened to him in the past, so it takes time for him to genuinely fall for someone, and you just so happen to be very special to gain his affection! - He would need a s/o who is emotionally intelligent enough, someone that be able to pick up his feelings even though the signs are so subtle, he might brush it off mostly to keep up the professionalism but I'm sure you're the only one that he can trust showing his real side to you with the way you genuinely care and love him despite not being super touchy or show it obviously. - Because of the past he had, his insecurities are also something that needs a warm helping hand. A s/o with a caring, loving tendency would do so he won't think lowly of himself whenever he's around them. Perhaps at one point, despite his initial charismatic, calm appearance, he would think that he doesn't deserve someone as amazing as you. How can you care so much for him like that even after knowing his past or all the terrible things he did? Yet you just wipe those thoughts away from his mind with a gentle, soft reassurance as your hands caress his, feeling each other's warmth... and you caught his ears turning red~ - He pays attention to his appearance a lot especially after he comes on land, since he can nicely dress himself up and also even change his scent with different kinds of colognes. So I think he would have preferences for appearance too for a partner, maybe a s/o that knows how to dress themselves nicely enough, no need for fancy make-up or flashy clothing, but would be a nice touch if they like to use perfume like him too. He is pretty keen with his senses, and maybe he took a liking to you due to your scent... but he wouldn't openly admit that it smells really nice (or he gonna end up blushing and getting teased by the tweels). - Bonus: Azul would be the type to fumble at first when he got into a relationship, so being patient and teaching him would get him to fall even more for his s/o. He might study and research beforehand, but nothing comes as close as a real experience after all, he would get really flustered during your first kiss or when you embrace him... like a shy octopus, so just take it slow and intimate with him💖

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🐬Jade 🐬

- Being someone who loves to serve someone as his nature, it's no surprise when his s/o usually being the one receiving instead of giving. He wouldn't have a specific preference when it comes to finding a partner, but he would like it if his s/o let him serve them, it's something he likes to do and he wants you to enjoy it too. Being dependent on him, asking for his help with something when you can't do it by yourself, and he would immediately be there to lend a helping hand. Don't hold back or feel bad because like I said, it's something he likes doing after all. - Though I think he would like it if his s/o treated him equally too, like they're both on the same ground and not just a serving/receiving relationship only. He would find it fascinating that someone like you thought of him that way despite how he keeps offering his service to you, it's just... interesting to him, he probably gave you one of those smiles of his and brushed it off to you but little did you know... you have become the most intriguing person in his eyes and he would like to study you more. (Think of it as a good thing! Probably...) - If his s/o happens to show interest in him, he would be curious and start bringing up topics such as his hobby if they're curious about it, like for example: terrariums or mushrooms. Even better if his s/o actually shows genuine attention to them, he would feel delighted as you both talk about the said topic for hours until it's time to bid goodbye and get back. He felt like he seemingly just found a great partner, someone he is interested in as you're also interested in him... I'd say it's a special mutual feeling~ - He probably has researched a lot about the fashion on the land, hence why you see him dress up really well in a lot of times, so I think he would like it if his s/o knew how to dress nicely on the right occasion. Like Azul, he doesn't need you to wear fancy or flashy clothing, but just taking care of your look properly is enough, maybe some light perfume would catch his attention too as he would be able to tell that you were here or you're around this area easier with your scent (It's less work for him in a sense too) - Bonus: I think surprises would get him the most. Maybe something like knowledge about mushrooms or attempting to build a mini terrarium and show it to him, he would be delighted that you actually spent time on something like this just to impress him, and you sure did but that's not the only thing that will happen (his heart will be impressed too) 💖

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🦈Floyd 🦈

- The most unpredictable out of all characters, he can have such constant mood swings that make it hard for others to keep up with him, so I think his s/o should be someone that at least be able to handle them and doesn't get impatient with it. The moment he gets bored with someone he'll move on quickly, as such, patience is something that you would need when you date Floyd. If you can't keep up with his eccentric, constantly changing personality or easily get irritated then it'll be hard to put the relationship together. - He is pretty open when it comes to dating or preference because he won't be the one the reciprocate easily, his s/o should be someone who at least show constant interest in him or know how to get loose and have fun occasionally of when the right time come, maybe even know to play pranks too. He would be surprised in a way that makes him all chuckling and laughing in an... interesting way, don't worry, it's just how he usually is so don't get too startled, it just means he's having fun and you'd probably prefer it whenever he does. Also, it means he's having fun because of you, which is a great thing since you're that intriguing to him! - Though, it doesn't have to be someone that know how to have fun all the time, it could be a s/o who is pretty attentive, they can read his body language or treat him with genuine emotions, especially to not treat him like he's stupid or a fool. He might act like that but he needs respect too! I think he would be pretty impressed if you're able to guess what is he thinking right now from his behaviors (considering only Jade would be able to do that) and would squeeze you like a happy eel guy he is. - Unlike Azul and Jade, I don't think he would have a preference for appearance too much since he's pretty open to anything. He also doesn't pay attention to his looks most of the time too since well... You see how he dresses up most of the time. But since he's pretty interested in shoes, maybe if you happen to have a bit of knowledge about them then it'll impress him since he's quite fixated on the said topic. I think he would be pretty keen with his nose too so he can tell what kinda scent you got like Jade, he probably doesn't have a favorite scent but as long as it's nothing too heavy or so then he'll be absolutely whipped~ - Bonus: Squeezing hours is the most effective way for someone like Floyd! He will give you a silly sea creature nickname as a way to show his affection but also hug- I mean, squeeze you often too whenever he caught a glimpse of you around the school. If you treat him well he'll really enjoy being around you, so I hope you're ready for the most random squeezing ever from the silly guy himself 💖

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🕌Kalim🕌

- This big ball of sunshine definitely needs someone who knows how to take care of others or be attentive, knowing how clumsy he can be, he needs a s/o who loves to take care of him or pay a lot of attention just in case he accidentally injures himself again (might as well call you Jamil's sibling-), but when he sees how worried you look whenever you look out for him, he will try his best to be careful with himself too! The last thing he wanna see is your sad face after all so he'll remember your advice as best as he can! - He needs someone who has stability and balance to themselves so they won't feel tired out when they're with him, knowing how energetic he can be. Taking care of himself and making sure he's okay is one thing, but he also wants you to look out for your health too and not just all about him! You both would look out for each other (even though it's mostly your side), it's a relationship of caring and giving mutually and constantly~ - I feel like other than stability, he would like a s/o who knows how to have fun too when the time comes. Who wouldn't like some fun once in a while! He probably drags his s/o around to have fun with him, whether it be having a banquet or a ride with the magic carpet, he wants to see that pretty smile of yours every day, especially when you stay by his side, it just makes things more special to him you know? It's like he's the only one that can make you all bright and cheered up or show you a whole new world! - I think when he gets into a relationship, he can be a bit of a big puppy or touchy, I mean, who doesn't enjoy a warm, loving hug from your loved one? So he might need a s/o that doesn't mind too much skinship at the time or maybe even enjoys sudden hugs out of nowhere. Of course, he still knows how to respect boundaries at times or read the mood, but when he gets too happy he just couldn't help but embrace you! You bring him immense joy, so treasure those moments as much as you can, because there isn't anybody else that's like him after all. - Bonus: It's a bit hard to get him to like someone in a specific way, since in a sense anything could get him to like you, he is pretty easy to gain affection with how soft and kind he is compared to other characters, but if you're being forward and direct with your feelings then he'll surely return those feelings even stronger or brighter like the sunshine he is💖

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🐍Jamil 🐍

- Being the vice leader of Scarabia with tons of work every day, I'm sure he can get very tired sometimes even though he doesn't show it on his face; that's why I think he needs a s/o that would be there to take care and reminds him to get loose or to take breaks in between. He's the one giving most of the time so it would be nice if it's the opposite once in a while. It doesn't need to be anything too grand, just a gentle reminder from you or maybe you can be sweeter and put a small note in between his school books with tiny scribbles here in there that reads "Daily reminder: Take a break in between! ;)". He definitely would not show it to anyone else in case he gets embarrassed, but he really appreciates that someone cares for him this much and wants the best for him despite the way he keeps burdening himself with work and chores and doesn't have too much free time. - Like Kalim, he probably needs someone who is also stable and has balance in their life so they can manage themselves better without needing other's help, he would be impressed his s/o knows how to organize things so well without his help (since he usually ended up being the helping hand most of the time) and wonder if you grow up being by yourself or perhaps used to be the same situation as him... Either way, he would compliment you for your independence and admit it out loud, he isn't a person who saves the praising for nothing. Speaking of that, maybe you could give some compliments to him too in return for his hard work. He is used to praises, but if it comes from you then it just hits differently. It feels like he actually got appreciated genuinely with kindness! - He's a member of the basketball club and is very good at the said sport, so I think he would like a s/o that also has decently good stamina to keep up with him. As in whenever he's busy, you can be there to help him out including all the heavy work too. And don't let his "It's okay, I'm used to it" get to you! Or maybe whenever the chances come, be the one that serves him. No, not as in the literal sense of serving like a servant, but just let him sit down, take a breather, and make sure he got enough rest (and no but for him!) - He won't have a preference much for appearance in my opinion, he is pretty open to any type of look, but perhaps he would like someone who is more expressive or cheerful looking than him. He isn't a very emotional person, so if he sees his partner being lively and happy then he'll unconsciously smile before he realizes it, even though he sighs at first after that realization (He does sigh a lot, but it's more like in a "guess it can't be helped then" kinda way y'know). - Bonus: Acts of gratitude and kindness will get him to fall for someone the most. If his s/o is willing to lend a helping hand or make the work lighter for him, he'll be thankful though he might insist that you don't need to help him (since he is used to it), but don't give up! It always takes time for a person to fall in love, and that includes Jamil so just be patient, your kindness will surely get to his heart 💖

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👑 Vil 👑

- In my opinion, he would have the highest standard when it comes to appearance out of all the characters in here. I mean, he's the housewarden of Pomefiore we're talking about here, his standard is if not, someone that looks like they take care of themselves well at the very least. He will not stand people that don't do self-care or at least pay attention to their appearance! As the sentence goes "How you look is how you treat yourself", he is definitely taking that motto seriously (and no but!). - However, despite his strict nature, he's still a person with a soft side deep down. If his s/o is someone who isn't confident about their appearance or feels like they look "bad", he's here to erase those thoughts away! He'll make sure his s/o is the most shining diamond in the crowd, that they'll look as pretty as him to show how powerful you two are as a couple, and nobody will get to slander you or your look, not when the dorm leader of Pomefiore is here. Those who bully you will never get to see the sunlight again the moment he find out, he can be very terrifying if he's angry after all, and he isn't someone weak either, only fools would dare to pick a fight with him or you - his precious, beautiful partner. - Do try to not get sad if he acts strict around you, since he's always acting like that in pursuit of beauty, and he also wants the best for you. He will remind you to properly take care of yourself both physically and mentally, and make sure you get the best of the best treatment, even if it comes off as a bit harsh. He wants to see one's hard efforts they put into themselves, how much they went through to appear as they want today, it's just like him too, and that's why he'll feel really proud once his words really come through and see how confident you're in your current look and will praise you for it, like serious, genuine praising, and Vil is definitely not someone that give cheap compliments easily! - When it doesn't come to beauty-related topics, he can actually give you useful advice to improve your health or study. Surprises or not, he is very strong despite his elegant, poised look. Of course, you aren't the only one that gets shocked at this. (As you can see what happened to Ace and Deuce) Even better if you take his advice seriously and start taking care of your health, he'll be really proud that you actually listen to him instead of some other stubborn potatoes out there. - Bonus: He is pretty hard to come through, but I believe acts of genuine emotions will get to his heart the most. Instead of praising and admiring his beauty, you could admire the efforts that he put in instead. Tell him that he has gone through a lot, or that he is very hardworking, very attentive or always wants the best for himself. He'll be delighted to hear that's what you like... no, love about him instead of his usual beautiful look. He'll admit it, for a little potato, you sure know how to really appreciate someone else genuinely that even he can feel it 💖

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🍎Epel 🍎

- I think for Epel, he would need someone who wouldn't judge others based on their look and look at their real strength instead. As someone appearing ephemeral and dainty, he would often get called pretty in a way that makes him sound weak, and it's not something he likes at all. So, as his s/o, the first thing you should do is not judging him and treat him equally! He'll like compliments but not those that make him sound too cutesy or fragile. - Maybe his s/o could be someone that has the same situation as him: appearing weak but having a strong and somewhat even rumble personality. You two would get along due to the mutual feelings of understanding each other's struggles. He would find relief knowing someone having the same troubles as him as you guys both talking and laughing to each other, gradually getting relaxed the more you two hung out. Epel rarely ever shows his real self to someone else due to how difficult to make out what he's saying with his accent, but with you, he feels like it's a normal thing as you also show your real side to him as well more than just one time, it's like a mutual thing. It's okay if you didn't get what he meant at first but I think you'll... get it eventually. - I think he would like a s/o that is also physically strong, as he always admires and looks up to Savanaclaw students for that reason, so the moment he found out how easily you can lift up those chairs or have good stamina, our apple boy would be impressed! Even better if you rarely ever show your strength, he will ask you such things like how can you be that strong?? Or teach him your training methods! And maybe he would end up idolizing you even, for how amazing you're to him! - I think he'll like a s/o that is also pretty creative in their work. Since he has a great apple-cutting skill and can turn a normal apple into beautiful pieces of art so they'll attract others better, that's why he'll be impressed seeing someone artistic or creative with turning normal, ordinary things into arts like him. It feels like you're someone who can see the beautiful potential from the plainest thing ever without any judgment beforehand, like how you see the real, hidden strength in him despite his appearance. - Bonus: For someone who is actually very competitive and rumbles on the inside, maybe he'll fall for someone who is on the same level of competitiveness as him. Just you two going around having fun activities, like flying around the school with the broom, playing magishift together, etc. Or even having competitions of the most random thing ever, Epel feels like he doesn't need to restrict himself in any way whatsoever when he's with you, and that would get him to fall for you so much 💖

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🏹Rook🏹

- A true fan of beauty, he would praise anyone with pretty words or being a bit... overwhelming with it. So I think he doesn't really have a big preference since in a sense he would literally call others pretty, but if his s/o is someone who also loves beauty or somehow gets what he means then he'll be so impressed he starts praising you a whole lot instead. (It's his way of showing affection, so I hope you can keep up with it). He tends to find other people interesting in one way or another, and thus he would feel the same about you, so try to not be too startled if he suddenly appears out of nowhere and greets you in French or asks you the most random question ever (whether you expect it or not). He's pretty affectionate in his own way after all. - Although he may look and act like it, I think he can tell when someone has a beautiful heart or not. If his s/o is someone with an admirable, pretty heart then you're about to catch him painting a portrait of you soon enough with tears in his eyes (he means it genuinely though, looking like it or not). People often find him weird due to his eccentric personality so trust me, you aren't the first one that feels like that... but once you get used to it and start talking to him more often, you'll find out that he's actually a really kind, supportive person. He loves encouraging others and seeing their strength, such a sparkly, beautiful thing to see one's willpower! (according to him) - He is also a pretty sociable person, so maybe his s/o could be someone who can be sociable enough or have enough energy to keep up with random conversations, it would be tiring to be in a relationship with someone like him when you don't like socializing now wouldn't it? Of course, as a (surprisingly) attentive person, he'll know how to set the boundary between you two, but he always hopes you're up for a conversation with him since you're so interesting! He's amazed every time he watches over you and your behavior (it's just one of his habits... as a hunter, or so he said). - Since he has a very specific sense of beauty and art, maybe his s/o could also be a fellow appreciator of art and poetry. Not many people are seriously into arts as they would find it rather "old-timed", so the moment he knows, he'll be super whipped with you and the way you view art in your eyes! It doesn't even have to be historical, renascence type of art, if your sense of beauty is unique, he'll be attracted to them as well and to you, that just means you're so special in his eyes~ - Bonus: He is definitely into surprises no doubt! A small bouquet, a random doodle or sketch or even just a compliment will do, he loves it when he receives such beautiful things from you that he might end up shedding tears (again, but it's a good thing y'know) 💖

-----------------------------------

To be continued! Stay tuned for part 3~

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst fluff #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #kalim x reader #jamil viper x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #epel felmier x reader #rook hunt x reader #disney twst

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gojoidyll · 26 days

Note

Hi, for the request can I please have poly relationships with Topaz and Aventuriene fluff headcanon

being in a relationship with both Topaz and Aventurine?! I like how you think! I love them both so much, you don’t understand <3

warnings | topaz x reader, aventurine x reader, poly relationship, fluff, gn reader, one cuss word, small writing blurb at the end, it is a bit long, grammatical errors, etc.

I can see both of them fighting for your affections on a daily basis. It’s even worse when one of them has you all to themselves.

At times, however, Aventurine does get a bit nervous when he sees just you and Topaz enjoying each other without him.

He hides it with one of his many masks and bluffs though.

‘Will they leave me?’

It’s a question that is short lived when you tackle him into one of your famous bone crushing hugs when you notice him lingering in the doorway of your shared home.

And that’s exactly how his worries are washed away. By you pulling him into such a welcoming home.

Topaz, on the other hand, is different.

Even if you and Aventurine were to leave her behind one day, she wouldn’t blame either of you or be mad. She just wants you both to be happy. (She knows you both deserve it.)

As for you, you wonder if you’re being selfish and greedy. Two lovers who love you so much and give you whatever you want? Sounds too good to be true.

But its ok, they wash away your worries too.

In other words, you three built such a happy home together.

Sure they compete with each other for your affections from time to time, but you have two hands for a reason after all

One hand will always being hold on to by Topaz while the other is dragging Aventurine along making sure he isn’t be left behind.

In your free time when the three of you are off work there is usually 3 things that could happen…

1) Play a game with aventurine (you and Topaz lose horribly)

2) Take numby for a walk (aventurine usually buys you all icecream after)

3) Stay in and watch a movie and usually be stuck in a cuddle sandwich (this is your favorite because you like being squished between them hehe)

Though, sometimes, there will be date nights.

Date nights for you is always the best.

Aventurine would buy out the reservations for a whole fancy restaurant while Topaz is taking you out for new clothes (and jewelry if you wear any)

Other than that, between the three of you, you all feel like you could live like this forever.

Despite the friendly competition and maybe the loneliness of being apart due to long work hours and travel, the three of you know that you’ll all be together.

You three have a dedicated group chat with just you guys.

When you three don't want to do something? Rock-Paper-Scissors all the way. (You always lose, it's gets to the point that Topaz or Aven have to give you a pity win)

Am a firm believer that Aventurine can cook and will wear "kiss the cook" apron around the house. (You three +numby live in a BIG BIG house btw)

Kisses are always soft and sweet. And I'm a firm believer that Aventurine always tugs on your sleeve or pinches your cheek when asking for a kiss. Topaz on the other hand will go right for it. She wants a kiss from you? She's getting one. And she does it with a smile.

Also it’s like I said, you have two hands after all. And you know that you will always hold onto the both of them, forever and always. Through any and all trouble that is thrown your way.

Topaz has to go to Jarilo? You are already packing her the warmest clothes and the greatest hot chocolate. Telling her to call you whenever she needs you, and assuring her that you would rush to her if she needs it.

Aventurine has to go to Penacony? You’re already sweeping him up into a tight hug and kissing his cheeks. Penacony was dangerous, but you promised to come to his aid if he found himself in trouble.

And you? Well, it’s already assured that they will help you throughout any trouble you find yourself in.

"Is this alright?"

Your mouth let the words tumble out before you could stop yourself.

Topaz was already holding you so tightly, "being loved?"

You shook your head, "no, i meant, being loved so deeply by two people...it feels like i don't deserve it," you laughed lightly at your admittance, but Aventurine was kick to cut you off with a kiss to your lips. His mouth pressing down a bit hard.

"Don't say that."

"He's right, there's nothing wrong with the three of us finally being happy."

"Right-"

Aventurine's phone rang.

"Damn it."

"Back to work I guess."

"But today was our off day-"

Topaz' phone rang too.

"Great, let me guess, mine next then-?"

And right on cue, your phone rang right then and there. Seems like all three of you are being called in, but you who knows? Maybe you all get to go on a vacation together. Wherever that might be. As long as you three were together (+ numby) then all will be well.

#honkai star rail #hsr #aventurine #topaz #hsr aventurine #hsr topaz #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x you #aventurine x reader #topaz x reader #topaz x you #topaz x y/n

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lazywriters-blog · 8 months

Text

SISTER's SUPPORT 2

Summary: You have a story to tell about how you got pushed into a situation by your sister-in-law. Lying didn't get you anywhere.

Since you wanted a part two, here it is. With some sprinkled dark chocolate and layered spooky, I like these kinds of goofy dark scenarios- (not proofread)

You felt like a married couple consoling a raging teen who refused their favorite snack because of something you did. Even if you did, you had no idea of what you did wrong to deserve this, you barely know the twin brother and sister.

Maybe faking it till you make it home safe and sound was a good decision to keep in mind while you slowly and carefully sip your black tea, peering over to the twins who thought taking eyes off of you meant death.

You know they are not bad people, there are only good things you've heard about them in passing, adorable twin magicians with hats and tricks beloved because of it.

You didn't think the sister would have such a temper. Who in their right mind would come forth and throw accusations, unless her dear brother did admire you and you've gone and missed his magic show?

"No need to be coy, you don't need to lie about anything, we know much already. You like my brother too, don't you?"

You couldn't have responded quicker than lyney who gasped and hid his face behind his hand unsure if disappointment or embarrassment was right in his situation. '... Would you please stop embarrassing me and giving me heart attacks?"

"I'm sure he's a good gentleman and-"

"I asked, do you like him or not? Quit beating around the bushes and tell us the truth, that way my brother can rest easy and move on from his unhealthy fixation." She crossed her arms and glared, you are not sure if she's older than you yet.

"Oh... Uh." she's blunt, you were caught off guard, "Well, to be honest, I don't know him. You both are good magicians I've heard, I can't say if I like him or not if I haven't gotten to know him at all."

"Brother, tell her about yourself." She faced him, "You've been pining over a girl who doesn't even know you better than herself and you've been losing sleep over this?"

"Lynette, maybe spare me some dignity and let things happen naturally. Why do you have to rat me out like that?"

"Because I hate seeing you like this."

If you could get up and leave, you would without a second wasted. The twins were bickering while you contemplated your wisest words and phrases, sentences that were guaranteed to get you out of it with your ego intact.

"I said I've lost sleep because of that one failed trick I got wrong, and you were the one to butt in before I could make my move!"

"If I hadn't, this wouldn't be happening! You would be back to stalk-" Lyney quickly put his hand on her mouth and furrowed his eyebrows, as if to say 'Shut up she doesn't need to know that.'

But that expression eased off when he turned around to look you in the eye, "I'm sorry about this, my sister is a little fussy and all, you know..." he nervously smiled, had you not known better or seen it happen you would have believed they had nothing to hide.

"It's fine." What more could you say? They were guilty of dragging you here.

"I am sorry, I am, My sister usually doesn't pull off such stunts, it would be better for us to forget about this and move along." he laughed, but somehow it felt ominous to you, the way he steepled his hand and drop his elbow on the table, he didn't feel threatened anymore.

"Of course, why not," you answered.

"Splendid!" he raised his hands, giving you a tight smile with closed eyes. Giving it a few seconds, he waited for his sister to say something, elbowing her when she didn't.

Were you bonding with the twins? Not really.

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, but would you like to marry my brother? I'm sure he'll sleep better knowing you are his. He's not a bad guy."

If you weren't there, Lyney wouldn't have kept up his smile and made you see him in a good light, however, his smile still appeared strained.

These two were oddly funny siblings with a sudden tendency to expose each other.

"Lynette..." Lyney hummed in a low voice, and his sister did not even flinch, "Sorry bro."

"Was this conversation about marriage from the beginning? Why didn't you say so? I wouldn't have had to worry so much haha..." how were you supposed to get out of this?

Reacting positively could only get you so far.

"So? Do you approve of my brother? You guys should get married in two days." Nothing seemed to faze this girl.

You looked at Lyney, then Lynette and you weren't sure of what you were going to say anymore.

If you say no, you are certain his sister will tear you to shreds and make sure the rest of your days go on as badly as possible, even saying 'I'll think about it' ingrained the same scenario in your head.

It shouldn't be so bad to say yes, no?

"... Why not?"

Saying no meant more harm than good. Besides, you just wanted to get out of this situation as quietly as possible.

"Bro, you owe me one. When can I expect grandchildren?"

"You mean nephews..." lyney replied.

"Yeah, that."

Tag list

@swivy123 @rotin0

@idontevenknow129 @heartsbyvalentina

#yandere imagines #yandere drabble #genshin impact imagine #genshin impact oneshots #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #genshin impact lyney #lyney x reader #lyney x y/n #lyney #yandere lyney #Kindaa yandere #genshin imagines #yandere genshin impact x reader

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buterccup · 1 year

Text

GEN Z READER IN TASK FORCE 141 HC + könig!! PT 2

A/N: You guys are so sweet!! Thank you for the support on the first part of Gen z! Reader series/ Daffodil series, it seriously means a lot! And since I saw someone ask for König I decided to add him too, our baby deserves some love too! And again if anyone has codename ideas please tell me because I am still considering changing Daffodil to something else!

Warnings: Dark humour, Suicide jokes, simping, swearing, mentions of parents leaving the reader, basically gen z stuff, usual CoD violence, wholesome family stuff,

Character(s): Soap, Gaz, John, Ghost, Price, könig x Gn! reader (Mention of Laswell and Graves)

Codename: Daffodil

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

It had been a couple months since you joined the task force and met your boys and they are happy you are with them, and despite being thick-skinned and having a very fucked humour you can get emotional at times.

One time you got upset over something and hugged the closes person to you.

It was Ghost.

And surprisingly he didn't mind, he understood that you were still young and needed comfort. So he gave you comfort that he never got properly when he was younger.

But once you told Ghost that you loved him which caught him off guard and made him stay away from you for a bit to process what you said.

Of course you told him you loved him through texts but hearing you say it was a whole other story.

The others get this treatment too.

Even if you're not upset you'll randomly say that you love them, which they find sweet but they all were caught off guard at first by the sudden burst of affection.

But they got used to it!

But there was one thing they weren't getting used to, your jokes.

Price swears he can feel himself get grey hair every time he hears one of your 'jokes'.

They even came up with a very...odd name for them: "Dil Humour"

When they first started saying the little inside joke you looked at them like they said something horrible.

"Excuse me?? Dil humour????"

"You know ill but instead of ill it's dil from Daffodil- No?.."

"Stop..."

To say the least you were not impressed and you were sure Price came up with it.

But you still loved them anyways.

Even with that ugly hat.

You swear he committed a war crime by just wearing it but he lets you wear it just to spite you. Aw.

You made a Spotify playlist for all your boys and continuously added songs to them until you're ready to share it with them.

One time Gaz caught you adding songs to Soap's playlist and tried to peek over your shoulder.

"What are you doing."

"Your mom"

"Never mind.."

And you may or may not have made one for König.

I mean who could blame you?!

When you first saw the man you were in the mess hall eating with your boys, sitting in between Ghost and Soap, minding your own business until you saw the newest love of your life.

You started to choke while slamming the table with a red ass face.

And you bet that Ghost was the first one to slam his hand onto your back while Soap sat wide-eyed at what just happened.

Before any of your boys could say anything you were looking around like a hawk and getting up to talk to König.

To say the least your boys were in shock and stayed that way until you came back minutes later with a huge smile on your face.

"I GOT A NEW BAE"

"Shh..." (🧼)

"I got a new bae!"

"Oh yeah?" (🧼)

"Fucking what." (💀)

(that one unas anus moment)

And after a while you started sending König so many heart locket gifs of him and a lot of bear memes.

You don't what it is about the guy but he is GIVING bear.

Anyways you love this man to pieces and will always try your best to control yourself and not say any suicide jokes around him.

But you can control yourself so much.

The first ever time König heard you threaten to shoot yourself his eyes widened.

The poor thing was worried for you since all he's ever seen of you was sunshine and memes.

He would just place his hands on your shoulders and make you look him in the eyes as he asks if you're okay and if you ever need to talk you can always go to him.

You sometimes go training with him too and you couldn't stop fawning over how strong he was in your head.

And speaking of training, you also go train with your boys too.

There was one time, Soap was doing push ups and he thought it would be fun to have you sit on his back.

And who were you to say no to that.

Although sometimes you go to the 141 group chat and send memes.

Gaz is always the first to respond.

Always.

Gaz: Where did you find this??

Foap: Daffo this isn't funny

Price: Kid

Gaz: Aren't you two supposed to be training

Price: Where are you both

Baby gril: Is that me?

Soap or whoever is training you always end up finding you when you send jokes like those and make you work extra hard during train with him which makes you cry internally.

Speaking AGAIN of your humour one time you were fighting off one of the enemies and he landed quite a hard punch on you, cutting your cheek in the progress, but once the boys showed up the guy was dead and most of his blood was on your hands. Literally and figuratively.

There was no way of telling which one of the boys came up to you first but they definitely kept asking about your cheek.

"Are you sure you're okay soldier?"

"Yeah I'm sure, my dad hit harder anyway-"

"Daffodil."

They weren't happy with what you said, especially Price

Your boys will never forget the day when they found out that you couldn't drive.

At first everything was a blur, it was during a mission and you all had to fall back, and you somehow got into the driver's seat while Price, Ghost and Soap were in the back while Gaz got in the passenger's seat.

Ghost would have a bullet in his arm while Price and Soap shouted at you to go.

You floored it.

The sudden action made Soap hit his head against the car wall while Gaz and Price were yelling at you to stop.

"YOU SHOULD'VE LEARNT THIS WHEN YOU WERE IN TRAINING."

" JUST GIVE ME THE WHEEL!"

"DEADASS MIGHT THROW UP"

"DAFFODIL-"

They vowed they would never let you drive again until someone teaches you.

You were just bored one day so you beelined your way to Gaz's room and slammed yourself onto his bed.

Of course Gaz was shocked once he saw you enter his room but soon got on with whatever he was doing.

And just like Price, he would never tell you to get out of his room unless it was super important and would just talk with you about random things and let you vent to him.

Somehow you always end up getting all sentimental and it's just really sweet in the end.

Soap sings in the shower.

And Lord have mercy if you hear him you will ALWAYS join in and vice versa.

You two are a power duo.

There was this one time you convinced Ghost and Price to go catfishing with you on a dating app with your phone.

Their names were Gina and Fraincesca and it was very chaotic.

One time one of the people that matched with them started texting your phone during a meeting with Laswell and Graves and since it was going nowhere you checked one of the messages to see a voice message and then-

"Hey baby gorl."

"I'm going to actually kill myself, I will shoot myself right now it's not funny, I have a letter under my bed guys Imma go-"

"Daffodil."

Soap and Gaz still won't let you live properly after that no matter how much Price and Laswell tell them to stop.

Meanwhile Ghost and Grave would just act like nothing happened.

But even after what happened and the relentless teasing Soap and Gaz would do they still cared.

Live, Love, Laugh guys.

Requests: Closed

(Part 3 coming soon and also a one-shot!)

Tag list:

@agspgrwasb

@hwrtsiren

@red-plaidedandcladed

@justmare

@bitchigoteverythingissues

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

Aita for having a foursome without my partner while in a committed relationship?

I, 18f, am in a relationship with my partner who I will call Mike, 21m. Our relationship started in January when we meet on a hookup sight, and we liked the hookup enough to keep seeing each other and then we developed feelings. I'm from a pretty rural place and therefore the pickings of good men are slim so it felt like I hit the jackpot when I met Mike cause he was funny and didn't pressure me sexually and could actually make me cum.

But as our relationship became more serious I noticed things that were bothering me like how he's hardly on his phone so he doesn't text me back for anywhere from 2 to over 24 hours at a time.

He also in the beginning wasn't very good at communicating which lead me to not knowing what he wants from our relationship. He also wouldn't tell me he couldn't make plans until right before, or even after, the plans were meant to start. This happened often because he doesn't tell his parents that he has other plans when they ask him to do something (he still lives with his parents) and it even happened a couple times with his friends.

This is a slightly big issue to me because I have trauma based abandonment issues and BPD, and I will get upset and have an episode. Obviously it's not his fault I have these episodes and he's not causing them on purpose, but having episodes that often was negatively effecting my mental health.

My best friend Ken and roommate, 18n, and our two other friends, Julian, 18n, and Mac, 20n, had to witness the toll these episodes had on my mental health as I grew more depressed and anxious during the 5 months I allowed this to happen. They continuously encouraged me to either speak to him about his behavior or break up and I ended up talking to him and his behavior seemed to get better. (For context I only can see him about once a week because he has a job with long hours and works on his dad's farm on top of that)

Around this time my friends starting having threesomes together (Mac and Julian are ex fuck buddies and Mac and Ken are engaged) and they kept making jokes about how it should be a foursome/I should join then.

I brought these jokes up to Mike one of the times he was going to hang out with my friends incase made the joke in front of him as i didn't want him to go in unprepared. He said I should just "have sex with them to get the joke to stop" and I was like "??? We agreed to be exclusive, that would be cheating. Also if I wanted them to stop I could just ask" and he was like "yeah I guess but I still think you should just have sex with them. Just do it" I changed the subject cause I couldn't tell if he was joking and it made me uncomfortable.

I told my friends later when we were alone and they told me that was him giving me the go to have sex with them.

So I did, even though I held some reservations that he might have been jokinh. I had a foursome with them, and as I am the photographer of the group, took lots of photos and pictures and even sent the photos and pictures to the groupchat we share so the others could have them.

Then after it ended I started to second guess myself and deleted all the photos from my phone and texted Mike that I really needed to talk to him, like sooner then we usually would (since I had just seen him typically I wouldn't see him until next week). I felt gross like I had cheated, which is something I have always vehemently been against, and betrayed Mike's trust as we're in a committed relationship. I admitted these feelings to my friends and they said it wasn't cheating cause he told me too and even if he hadn't he was still horrible to me and he deserved it.

Only the last part made me feel even worse cause I don't believe anyone deserves to be cheated on.

I ended up telling Mike everything and he told me that it wasnt cheating because I "was basically just a promoted camera man" and that he had told me to do it anyway. But them he started making jokes about it. Like if I asked if he wanted to watch a show, he'd say "I don't watch TV shows with dirty cheaters" or things like "oh yeah, Mac, your other boyfriend" or "yeah i know how close you and Ken are" and just generally seems to get quieter when i bring up those three friends. I would originally think the comments were teasing as he's a playful guy but he started to say it enough that I can't tell if there's actually truth to it and a part of him thinks I'm a cheater, or all of him thinks I'm a cheater and he's lying that he's fine about it to not hurt my feelings/ruin our relationship.

Every time I voice my feelings to my friends (even the ones I didn't have sex with) they tell me that I'm not in the wrong but I feel like I definitely am in the wrong and a cheater, and I think that Mike might feel that way too. So I've come to Tumblr to look for unbiased options on whether or not I am and asshole and a cheater for having a foursome while in a committed relationship?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bau-drabbles · 1 year

Text

haunted

emily, one of your close friends in the bau, comes back and after months of crying over her death you're not sure how to feel. it hurts the most when the deception also comes from aaron, the man you've loved for so long

a/n: idk how i feel about it. it's very rushed because half of it was deleted and i couldn't be bothered to go back and rewrite it properly.

aaron hottie angst again because his pain is so beautifully upsetting. kinda long so enjoy 🤍

part 2 :)

"everybody, have a seat" aaron's voice is more tense than usual, as if he was about to announce some bad news. your heart races but you walked in, grabbing a seat next to morgan. jj stands beside hotch and she looks almost worried, toying with her fingers. your brows knitted in confusion, wondering what was so urgent

"why, what's going on? everything all right?" spencer asked, his brow raised.

"seven months ago, i made a decision that affected this team. as you all know, emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with doyle," hotch began

"but the doctors were able to stabilize her and she was airlifted from boston to bethesda under covert exfiltration. her identity was strictly need-to-know. and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. she was reassigned to paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security" he finishes but there's pin drop silence in return. his arms had folded over awaiting a response but everyone was shocked to say a thing

your heart feels like it's plummeted at the bottom of the earth, the breath completely knocked out from your lungs. you hope someone announces its a big joke but hotch looks at all of you expectantly. jj has her head slightly bowed, unable to make any eye contact and its then you realise she knew all along.

"she's alive?" you didn't even think you said it out loud but aaron looks at you, his brows in a tight frown. you see the truth spilled on his face and it stings immensely knowing how he saw you in your vulnerable moments and still decided not to say a thing

he knew all along

"but we buried her" someone else says but at that point you completely blank out, sinking further in your seat. hoping the ground would swallow you whole and remove the burden crushing your heart.

"as i said, i take full responsibility for the decision. if anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me" aaron looks at you again but you don't bother looking in his direction.

all those times, every single tear, every second of sadness, all of it was.... fake?

"any issues?? yeah, i got issues-" morgan started, standing up towards hotch. but he doesn't go far for garcia speaks again. her eyes are brimmed with tears, walking quickly towards the door

"oh, my god" and you turn, unable to register the vision in front of you

"i am so sorry, i really am. not a day went by that i didn't want to...really, i... you didn't deserve that and i'm so sorry" the voice you thought you'd never hear again in this lifetime spoke. there she genuinely was, in the living breathing flesh. garcia grabs her in a hug and they share a tearful laugh about something you can't hear.

"there is so much i want to tell you guys and-and i will, i promise" the woman you spent crying in private about for weeks was now alive, like nothing had even happened.

garcia embraces her tight again and jj, morgan, rossi and reid followed suit.

it doesn't comprehend there she genuinely was, actually physically standing there. so many emotions had run through you, unclear of which one it was. all you can think about was her in your arms actively dying and you crying as you screamed for medics to come.

so you remained silent, while everyone had hugged her you stood just looking. unsure of what to feel, unsure over how to act. it felt foreign and you get lost in the reality of the situation, not realising she had made her way towards you

"y/n..." emily walked closer a smile on her lips but you couldn't reciprocate it. how could she so... nonchalanant about everything? those nights you spent crying, the nights your heart had felt so hollow in your chest, all of that burned in your mind.

the anguish, the pain, the guilt, all of it was an illusion.

and aaron, the man with whom you had trusted with your whole life glanced at you through the corner. he doesn't know what to say, what could be said? unintentionally he had lied to you, comforted you through pain that didn't even exist. he saw you vulnerable after her death, he was the one that pieced you back. and now it felt like all the parts he held together were coming undone.

"emily" you nod, a tight lipped smile on yours. even just being in her presence is enough to tip you over the edge so you distract yourself, holding the file. how strange, a mere seven months ago you two were the closest of friends.

and now you barely even knew her

"i-" she opens her arms slightly to embrace you but you open your hands to give her the information. touching her felt too soon, you needed some time to think.

"this is the file with doyle and everything going on with the kid. we don't have time to spare" you nod, quickly hand it to her and walk straight for the coffee. it wasn't caffeine that was going to help you tonight but it didn't hurt to try

•••

"hey..." morgan finds you staring blankly at the wall with the pictures, trying to find the next step in the kidnapping. and no matter how much you tried to regain your composure, it cracked piece by piece. exposing your facade and your true feelings behind the matter.

you were determined to keep a straight front for your team but every time you saw emily and jj and especially hotch, it felt like a challenge you weren't sure you'd win

"hey" you continue to take through the information, trying to piece the murder but there's so much on your mind it all feels like its vanishing in the air. like nothing is registering in your brain.

"hey" jj comes in and you stiffen up, quickly catching some files and exiting the room. she calls your name but you simply walk straight for the hallway. true, it was a childish thing to do but you couldn't look at any of them without the overwhelming urge to break down.

aaron, however, catches you in the hallway and you step back not wanting to even touch him, unable to look at his deceiting face.

"i know what you've been through. i understand that you're angry but i hope that you understand that this is not about you or me. this was about saving emily" his tone is sharp, firm but you see the hurricane of emotions in his eyes.

the most dominant being sorrow. but that wasn't enough for you, you almost wanted him to experience the pain you'd felt.

"why do you care about what i think hotch? it never mattered before, evidently" you match his tone in return, trying to go about him.

"y/n i know you're disappointed how we handled emily but it wasn't in our control, we couldn't say anything" he stops you and you don't even want to look at him, he knew how hard it had been on you. and he still didn't breathe a word of her survival.

"you couldn't or you wouldn't?? don't pretend to care what i've been through hotch. i came to you crying for weeks on end and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth. not fucking once. what did you expect? i'd hug prentiss and all would be well? give me a break" you scoffed, pulling away from him. he stood stunned for a moment, his brows scrunched in a confused frown

"i know and i understand-" "i don't think you do. we have a kid that's about to die hotch, now is not the time" you utter, glaring as you walked by him.

•••

the plane ride was silent, moreso than usual. you noticed the glances your team was giving you but as long as the job was done efficiently, there wasn't really anything to say, you'd talk on your own time. just you and your book was enough for now.

all that was interrupted when a voice cut in. a voice you thought you weren't ready to hear just yet

"declan is little shaken up but the doctor said he'll be fine" she smiled at you, eyes looking at you but you refused to make any contact

"good. we got there in time" you commented, turning the page.

"yes..." she taps her fingers on the table, unsure on how to continue the conversation. part of you hopes she walks away, not ready to listen to her just yet.

"well we're going to rossi's tomorrow night. i want to see if he really can cook. are you coming?" she asked hopefully, a small smile on her lips

"i don't know, i'm not so sure i can make it" you leaned your elbow on the armrest, continuing to read the same sentence until she left.

"look, l/n, i know you're mad at us because we didn't tell you what really happened, and... i understand that. but i promise you, we had no choice" she begins and she sighs a little before looking directly at you.

"you mourned one friend, i mourned seven" she chuckled lightly, trying to make you see from her perspective. but you couldn't, the betrayal rang far too loudly in your ears.

his especially

"it's not a competition emily" you put your book down, directly looking at her eyes. everything you had been bursting to say left your lips before you could even comprehend it.

"you didn't carry my coffin, you didn't cry over someone that was presumably dead. do you know how many times i was angry at myself for not doing more? i kept replaying that moment when i held you, near enough lifeless and completely covered in blood. and all i could do was beg you to breathe and stay with me. you didn't take medications because every time you closed your damn eyes, all you could see was your dead friend in her own blood did you? don't pretend we're the same emily, you have no idea what i went through" with every word, you could feel the anger boiling deep inside of you. the annoyance coursing through your veins like wildfire.

"you could've given us a hint, a sign, anything to indicate proof of life. but i had to hold the pain over your death for months. so forgive me if i don't want to go through that again" your tone was sharp, picking up your book back to indicate the conversation was over

"y/n i'm sorry i-" she began softly but you shook your head

"look emily, i appreciate what you're trying to do. really. and i'm happy that you're back but i need time and space too. i can't do this job efficiently otherwise. so please..." you indicated for her to leave and she reluctantly stood up, wanting to say a million words. but none of them seemed quite correct

you hoped no one would come and try to talk, just wishing this plane ride would end quickly and you'd be in the safe sanctuary of your bedroom

and for once your wish is granted

•••

the precinct was empty, dark and cold. replicating how you felt on the inside.

your bag was in your office and you hoped everyone was gone, you couldn't handle seeing their faces.

it was hard, because on the one hand your friend was back. you wanted to rejoice, and hug her so tight but the way it all happened... it felt wrong.

"y/n" and there it is. the voice you definitely didn't want to hear tonight

"aaron" you reply in response, turning around to face him. he looks dishevelled, almost as if he had to run to catch you back here. on any other day before, it would've made you fawn over his adorableness but it didn't stir a thing in you now.

"i know what i did was inexcusable. i know you're hurt, i know it could've been handled better. i realise that but you have to understand that this wasn't my order. if you had known, it would've put you in a compromising position too" he comes close until he's standing a foot away. his eyes are aligt with an emotion you've never seen him use before, pleading

"i just can't get over it hotch. i'm so happy she's back and under different circumstances i would've celebrated it. but i can't because you lied to me. for months and months" you want to fall in to his arms, to forget about everything that had transpired tonight but it would solve nothing. so you stay where you are, the ache in your heart growing by the minute.

"and for that i deeply apologise" before, this would have solved your problems. but now it felt like the gasoline added to the fire.

"you don't care about me aaron and i'm fooling myself if i keep pretending that everything is okay"

"i do y/n, i just need time. i just-"

"how much time?? how much longer can i be expected to wait?? how much longer can i pretend that you actually care about me-"

"i do care!" "oh you do?? you watched me cry for months. does that sound like caring? and you never want to progress further in this. how can i be with someone who doesn't care? emily coming back was just the icing. you'd use anything and anyone to get what you want hotch. you don't care about anyone, much less me"

"is that what you think of me?" he whispers, eyes narrowing at you

"it's what i know of you. from the moment i met you to now. i thought it was fine at first. but i can't do it. do you have any idea how.... hard it is to love you?" every word was a dagger to his heart, twisting and twisting until it was difficult to breathe.

"i'm done. i need a break. from you, from the bau, from everyone" you let out a shaky sigh, hugging your bag closer to your body. the man before you was your lifeline and now it felt like you were drowning in the depths of him. the only way to save yourself would be to remove yourself from his grasp, to pretend that he, your lover, never existed. he was aaron hotchner, your boss. he would never be the man you were so desperately and hopelessly in love with.

"y/n please don't-"

"i'm taking my holidays. don't contact me, don't find me. i just really.... don't want to see you ever" with that you stormed out of the room, away from him and his presence. away from his beautiful face you came to adore, away from all the memories you would forever cherish until your last breath.

but no amount of miles between you both could ever be enough

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader angst #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fanfiction

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 months

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Drive Safe Part 3

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: Our wild ride has come to an end 🥹😘

Synopsis: You confront your best friend for what she did to you behind your back all while trying to make sense of your future with Jack. The ultimate question is, are you willing to give your ex-husband another chance?

Pairing: Ex-husband!Jack Harlow x Ex-wife!Reader

Read Part 1 and Part 2 first

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After hearing Taylor confess what you had heard Jack tell Urban left you in a daze. So, he in fact was telling the truth, however your best friend or someone who you thought was your best friend went behind your back and betrayed you. Never did you think that in a million years that she would do something like this and try to play innocent and continue on with life as usual as if nothing happened.

“Y/N, I know you're pissed at me and for good reason and I know I shouldn't have done it and…”

You immediately cut her off.

“Let me ask you something. Did you honestly think that you could do that and ultimately get away with it? Yes, me and him have our issues but stepping out on one another because of a disagreement has never been a reality. No matter how mad at each other we are. Bottom line, you took advantage of him being in a vulnerable stage. Even if I am still very mad at him, I'm going to defend him when someone does him wrong. And in this case, you were in fact… wrong.”

“I…”

“I thought that at least you were one of the last people I could count on to have my back, but low and behold you wanted my man for yourself. Everyone has treated me like shit since this first happened and since obviously my feelings don't matter to you or anyone else, there's nothing left for me to say. We are done here and you can forget about being their godmother. Lose my number and do not call me again for as long as you live.”

“Wait, just….. we're throwing our friendship away over a mistake I made? I confessed and I apologized. I don't know what came over me to do that and deep down I knew it wasn't right. But I just….”

“A mistake you hid from me for damn near two years and it wasn't a mistake actually. I had my suspicions, but I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, thinking no, there's no way in the world that my best friend would do that to me. You were in your right mind and knew what you were doing. And to think I trusted you. I've told you things In confidence that I have never told anyone else and you just….I need to leave. And you can pick up the tab since you want to be kissing other people's husbands.”

“It’s never going to happen again, I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“You've already lost me as a friend from the moment you tried to kiss Jack. It's not going to happen again, because you are going to stay as far away as possible from us. Did you really think that I would forgive you for doing something like that to me? You broke my trust and that is not something that cannot be repaired overnight. Oh, and one last thing, I knew what you did for months now and was just simply waiting for you to confess.”

Taylor was sitting there absolutely stunned and unable to speak. And it looked as if her eyes were starting to water.

“Didn't think it was going to take this long, but here we are. I'm taking my food to go and have the day you deserve. And you can save your tears for someone who actually cares.”

Without another word, you slid back from the table and went to the front of the restaurant to let them know that you wanted your order to go and that Taylor would be paying for it.

Once you got outside in your rental car, the tears started to roll down your face. You were proud of yourself, but also hurting. You felt that at this point, you didn't have anyone anymore and you simply wanted to go back home to Louisville or Atlanta rather and be away from it all. Because Atlanta was the only place where you felt that your life actually made sense. Louisville held too many memories for you and every single one of them had to do with Jack.

You had gotten back to the beach house in record time and stared at your phone contemplating if you were going to call Jack or not to let him know that you had talked to Taylor. Making your way inside, you sat everything down in the kitchen before making your way upstairs to the bedroom since your desire to eat anything was now gone. You picked up your phone and then shook your head and placed it on the dresser before the tears started falling again.

If you knew the shitstorm that would happen when Jack asked for you to marry him, you probably would have never done it. But who were you kidding? You knew deep down that you still would have said yes despite what was going on around you at the present moment. Did you see yourself marrying him again? Only time would be able to tell. The most important thing that you needed to focus on right now was trying to heal.

Jack played with his phone in his hands contemplating calling your older sister, Danielle, but had a strong feeling that she wouldn't want to hear anything that he had to say.

But he had to try.

He was willing to do absolutely anything to get you to forgive him and get him to marry him again. Even though you told him that marriage was definitely off the table, in the back of his mind and deep down he knew that if he wasn't able to get married to you again that he wouldn't get married again at all. You were the love of his life and he ruined it.

Before he backed out, he quickly hit her number to call her as his heart was damn near beating out of his chest.

And now he was hoping she didn't answer.

But luck wasn't on his side and she did.

“Hello?”

“Dani, it's Jack.”

“I know. I have something called caller id on my iphone.”

“Umm….”

“What do you need?”

“Um, for your little sister to stop ignoring my calls and talk to me.”

All Dani did was scoff before responding.

“And you think that you deserve to talk to her after what you did?” Dani asked and now Jack was starting to regret ever picking up the phone to call her.

“Dani, she's pregnant.”

“I am aware. I was there when she took the test. What's your point?”

“Dani, please. I just want her to talk to me so she can hopefully forgive me and we can get back together.”

“Jack, I told you to do one thing when it came to her. ONE. Do you remember what that was?”

“Take care of her.”

“Hmm, and did you do like I asked?”

“Well…”

“No. You didn't. Instead you hurt my baby girl and quite frankly, I’m surprised she stayed with you as long as she did. That girl LOVES you and would do anything for you, but instead you let your little fame get to your head. As much as she would call me crying all times of the night over you, you honestly think you deserve to be in a relationship with her again?”

“I know I've messed up and that I've hurt her, but all I want to do is make it right. I don't want anyone else or be married to anyone else. I didn't even want to sign the divorce papers!”

All Dani did was sigh before responding.

“You better listen to me and listen to me good. I will do what I can, but it is ultimately her decision. If she gets back with you, fine. I'll support it. If she doesn't, I'm also going to support it. But one thing I'm not going to tolerate is you disrespecting her. That is the mother of three of your big headed children so give her the respect she deserves. She's in Miami and I'm going to check on her so I'll do my best to see if she’ll talk to you. No promises.”

“That's literally all I ask.”

“But if she says no, unless it has to do with your unborn children, you better leave her the fuck alone.”

Not realizing that you fell asleep after confronting Taylor, you woke up to see that it was dark outside and had no clue what time it was. Grabbing your phone and wincing from the light as you put your password in, you saw that it was around nine at night.

Sighing to yourself, you threw the comforter away from your body to make your way downstairs to come face to face with your older sister who was currently sitting in the living room and scrolling away on her phone.

Hearing your footsteps come up behind her, she quickly greeted you.

“Lil Bit, I thought you were going to sleep until next week.”

“Uh? What are you doing here?” You sleepily asked as you rubbed your eyes.

“Don't you think I know when you need me?”

“I'm fine.”

“Are you?” She asked as you came to sit across from her.

You wanted to say yes, that you were indeed in fact fine, but the words just weren't coming out. Instead, something else did.

“I miss him and I HATE myself for feeling like this.” You breathed out while wrapping your arms around yourself.

“It's not like it was a one night stand. You two were MARRIED. And have known each other since you two were fourteen. That doesn't go away overnight. There's going to be ups and downs with healing from that. It isn't linear.”

“But I'm just so MAD at him for what he did. No matter how much he tries to take it back and apologize, what's done is done. And that song felt like a legit slap to the face.”

“He's not perfect, but neither are you. He definitely could have gone about it a different way, but what's done is done and the only thing you can do is move forward from it.”

“He called you, didn't he?” You asked as you were eyeing Dani.

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“DANIELLE….”

“He did and in not so many words, begged for me to convince you to talk to him and to stop ignoring his calls.”

“And? What did you tell him?”

“After I threatened him, I said that I would try to convince you, but no promises. He has a show in Miami in two days so I figured you two can talk then. If you want to, that is.”

“I don't know If I want to.” You answered being completely honest.

“You said you missed him.”

“I miss a lot of things, but I've learned to adjust.”

“You aren't adjusting. You're avoiding it.”

“I don't remember asking for a therapy session.”

“Look, I get that you're hurting and want to take some time for yourself, but you cannot keep this bottled up because you are legit going to explode.”

“What are people going to say if I take him back?”

“Who gives a flying fuck? That's your business and no one else's. Two people would be in that relationship and not the entire world.”

“But he legit disrespected me multiple times.”

“Y/N, if you are looking for me to tell you what to do, it’s not going to happen. In the end, this has to be a decision that you have to live with. No one else. Just know that whatever you decide, I will support you 100%.”

Before you answered her, you simply sighed.

“What venue is he performing at on Saturday?”

—-

Saturday finally rolled around and you had been on edge for the entire day. The time for you to leave was inching closer and closer and you were seriously about to back out of it altogether. Taking a deep breath, you gave yourself a once over in the floor length mirror at your black dress that you were wearing along with a pair of your Steve Madden sandals and was satisfied with how the outfit came together. You had straightened your hair earlier in the day, so the only thing left to do was to confront him.

You had been confronting a lot of people lately and wanted for this to be the end of it.

Dani volunteered to go with you and the two of you rode in silence to the venue with her taking quick glances at you to see that you were scrolling on your phone from time to time. Once the two of you arrived and made your way inside, Jack was already on stage and Urban had quickly spotted the two of you.

“Hi Urby.” You said as he engulfed you in a bear hug.

“Hey, didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

“I didn’t know either until two days ago.”

“He’ll be happy to see you. Come this way so I can take you two backstage so you can watch from the side.”

“Hmm, we’ll see if that still rings true after I talk to him.”

All Urban did was hold his hands up in defense before shrugging since he knew that you were just about at your wits end with everything that had been going on.

You and Dani quickly followed behind Urban and since everyone recognized you, you were able to get backstage with no problem. But you also knew in the back of your mind that your so-called ex-best friends were probably there as well, right along with Neelam. And of course she had spotted you.

“Y/N?”

“The one and only unless there’s another one that I don’t know about?” You quickly said to her as Dani stifled a laugh.

“Can we…?” She started to say, but you immediately cut her off.

“No. I’m here for one person and one person only. If I wanted to talk to any of the rest of you, I would have told you. I’ll let you know when I’m ready whenever that time comes.”

“I.. fair enough. You both can come over here to watch him from the side.”

It took less than five minutes for Jack to spot you standing on the side and he got the biggest smile on his face and you simply gave him a tight lipped smile in return. You did your part of willing to open the lines of communication, but if it was something that you didn’t want to hear, you were immediately going to cut it off.

Once his set was over, he quickly jogged off the stage towards you and opened his arms for a hug which surprisingly you actually returned.

You had missed this feeling.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?” You asked him and he quickly nodded as he led the two of you to his dressing room.

Once the door was closed, you let him have it.

“Babe? Is everything okay? What are you doing here? And I mean that in the best way possible.”

“Don't call me that, Jackman. You lost the privilege to do so. But let’s just cut to the chase shall we? You called Dani to get me to talk to you so here I am. Now onto my most pressing question, why didn't you tell me what Taylor did?”

Jack, obviously taken aback, cleared his throat before answering you. And all he did was rock back and forth on his heels before sighing.

“Because I didn't think you would believe me if I had told you when it originally happened.”

“But not to say anything at all? You were supposed to protect me, we're supposed to protect each other! I had the fakest person under my nose for the longest and you said NOTHING.”

“I…. I didn't know what to do. You already didn't want to be bothered with me and I didn't want to create an even bigger mess. Wait, she told you?”

“Yes and kept asking me before she did if you had said something to me first.”

“I'm sorry, and I know that I should have. I would never cheat on you no matter how mad I might be. You mean too much to me for me to do that.”

“Hmm, your actions lately say otherwise. You hurt me with that shit you pulled and should have come and talked to me.”

“I know and I don't have an excuse for it. I just wish we could start over and just forget that any of this ever happened.”

“Do you honestly think that you deserve another chance?”

“Dani legit said the same thing.” He mumbled before taking a seat next to you and grabbing your left hand which was still decorated with your wedding ring. Except it wasn’t on your ring finger.

He began to play with it as he was waiting for you to say something.

“How do I know that something like this won’t ever happen again?” You asked and that was when he finally looked up at you.

“Because we’re going to communicate better and be honest with each other about how we’re feeling. That was my biggest downfall.”

“Hmm.”

“And I need to put you first. You were the one who was with me when I had absolutely nothing and I lost sight of that. Anytime I needed you, you were there but I didn’t give you that same treatment in return.”

“I want to believe you, I really do because I miss you, but… I just don’t know.”

“Y/N, please. Things are going to be different this time.”

“Maybe, but I don’t know if I’m at that point where I want to find out or not.” You answered being completely honest.

“Well, how long do you think that will take? You know I’m willing to wait. I legit do not want anyone else.”

“Only time will tell.” You shrugged while looking at him.

When he didn’t say anything else, you simply let go of his hand and began to get up.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“I did what you asked and I came and heard what you had to say, did I not?”

“Yes, but…”

“And now I’m leaving.”

“Baby girl, just…”

“Just, what, Jack? Just what? You said your piece and I’ve said mine. When I’m ready to take you back, you’ll know.”

“I love you and I want this. I want us.” He said as he grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

“Yes, you’ve made that very clear and you’ve done it more than once.”

“At least just spend the night with me, let me take you out.”

“Maybe some other time. I’m pretty tired. I am pregnant, the last time I checked.”

“Okay, I get that. Some other time then.”

Jack then stood up and gave you another long embrace as he leaned down to kiss your forehead.

You then felt him cup your cheek and knew he wanted to kiss you. You wanted to kiss him too, but you definitely weren’t letting him back in that easily.

Instead of meeting his lips with yours, he met your cheek since you had turned your head and you heard him sigh.

“When I fully forgive you, you can give me as many kisses as your heart desires, but until then I need you to remember something for me.”

“What is it?

“Remember one thing, I'm not your girl.” You whispered against his lips before smirking and laughing to yourself as you made your way to the door of the dressing room.

“Drive Safe tonight, Jackman.” Was the last thing you said before you disappeared on the other side of the door leaving him absolutely speechless.

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow angst #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x you #first lady of pg

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victorie552 · 5 months

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I headcannon that after 3rd Kinslaying, and especially after Elrond and Elros left them in whatever fashion, Maedhros was a total dick to Maglor.

You know how sometimes old or sick people are nice to neighbours/nurses/strangers, but are horrible to their primal caretakers? That's them.

People aren't dicks to their caretakers just to be dicks - it's because they are often frustrated with themselves or their situation and don't know how else to deal with it or they can't deal with it the usual way. It also happens because, paradoxally, they feel safe around their caretakers - you can be a dick because you know they won't leave just because of that.

And boy, did Maglor cast himself in a role of caretaker (let's not kid ourselves, he wasn't qualified, and with his own problems to boot), and BOY, did Maedhros resent him for it. He did not NEED help, he did not DESERVE help, he's not another kidnapped child MAGLOR, I'M the older brother, I should take care of YOU YOU WRECK, WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BABYSIT YOU GROW UP ALREADY and leave me Nothing is EVER your fault, even when you left me to Angband as you should Why would you care now, it amounted to NOTHING before, it's WORTHLESS

And about half the time Maglor just takes it, actually likes it even. Mostly because of his guilt complex about how he deserves it, but also because Maedhros is only like this with him - he's trying his best to pretend to be fine and be a leader to few followers they have left, because they deserve better and that's the only thing he can give them now, and their brothers are all dead and would always be Too Little to act like that around them anyway. Maedhros would behave himself even around Fingon, to make him think rescuing him was worth something. So by being a dick to Maglor, Meadhros sees him as an equal, a safe haven. Maglor basks in that.

But obviously no one could just take such abuse like it's nothing, and Maglor is a Feanorian too, is prideful and stubborn, with his own laundry list of complains about Maedhros, and also unwell, and also thought of a new insult while lying awake at night and just wants to yell too. So half the time Maglor yells back and their yelling matches would bring orcs to tears, with hate and blame dripping from every word. I don't have enough imagination to picture it realistically, and actually I don't want to, it's too heartbreaking.

And sometimes, one or the other just starts crying. They don't talk about these times.

After some time, their arguments and insults are just a noise, something to repeat endlessly to the point of boredom.

By then, what actually hurts are the words that were not meant to harm.

Example 1:

Maedhros: 'did an all-night inspection of their stores cause he couldn't sleep' I found a herb you always liked to wash your hair with.

Maglor: 'doesn't remember last time he washed his hair, no less scented them'

Maglor: 'choked up' Appreciated.

Example 2:

Maedhros: 'feels like he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him' You could go with the twins, you know.

Maglor: 'doesn't want to upset Maedhros today so decides to pretend as if that was actually an option' Vanyar would probably like my singing but you know they would get mad at you for having better battle plans than them.

Maedhros: 'now KNOWS he's dragging Maglor to damnation with him'

Maedhros: 'dying inside' Of course they would.

When love hurts, it's easier to be a dick.

#maedhros #maglor #silmarillion #silm #barely related but it plays into my headcannon that when nerdanel didn't went with them and feanor died #maglor and maedhros became New Mom and Dad for the rest of Feanorians #not even with any creepy context from them it was an automatic process #oh Mom left Dad Maglor is similiar to her guess Maglor is New Mom #oh Dad's dead? Maedhros is New Dad #boom problem solved #when Maedhros was unwell after Tears Celegorm got to be Dad for some time #it's so unhealthy when you look from the outside #it's unrelated to anything except Maglor as New Mom resents any mentions of abandoning the others #Maglor is NOTHING like Nerdanel #THIS mom won't leave anyone thank you very much #and then Maedhros stays in Angband for 30 years lmao #so unhealthy #angst I guess #I feel it went in different direction than it started but eh

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flowerandblood · 5 months

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The Taste of Shame (2)

[ dom!modern • Aemond x friend sister • female ]

[ warnings: doubts related to sex work, panic attack, remorse and depression, fluff, sexual tension ]

[ description: Aemond works as a professional dom, fulfilling the various fantasies of his female clients - however, he guards his privacy and does not enter into any relationships with them, recognizing that he does not want or need it. It turns out that what he wants and what he doesn’t no longer matter when he meets his friend’s younger sister for the first time. Slow burn, sexual tension, doubts related to sex work. ]

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Walking to the lecture they talked about everything and nothing; for the most part, she was the one speaking, telling stories or asking questions, guiding her bike beside her by the handlebars, while he just added his thought or simply remained silent, listening to her.

They arrived at the Community Centre true to her word very quickly and indeed he immediately saw posters announcing that there would be free lectures by philosophers in the fields of contemporary ethics.

Robert's sister padlocked her bike in the designated area and they both went inside, following the signs. They entered a large, neo-classical hall with beautiful pillars and rich ornamentation on the ceiling, reminding him of a theatre or opera house.

They sat side by side on seats in one of the first rows − she explained to him that the presenter would be asking questions and, among others, her professor would be answering.

Indeed, the discussion was remarkably interesting and he caught himself drawn in; the men were talking among themselves about capital punishment, attitudes to the treatment of other humans and animals, warfare and human-wide conflicts.

However, he felt a cold sweat on his back and a tightness in his throat, his heart starting to pound like mad when the presenter asked the next question.

"As we know, a lot of young people start, as they say in modern times, sexworking − whether they show up on webcams or have sex for money. How do you, Professor, view this, do you think it's good for the psyche of such people? Is it morally right?"

The professor grunted and corrected his glasses with a slight hand gesture; he was a grey-haired, elderly man with a kindly, calm face.

"It depends on a number of factors. Firstly − what that young person's goal is. When we choose our job, we usually want more than just to earn money, most people's dream is to do things that fascinate them, that they are fulfilled in. Of course, people are also fulfilled in the sexual sphere with their partners, however, what happens when sexuality becomes a profession?

Well, in a way, two things are then combined that can be very destructive to the psyche − materliness and one's own body. At the same time, we make the decision ourselves, so it is not morally wrong if it involves two adults who agree to it, but there is an internal objectification, a selling of some part of our intimacy.

Of course, one can feel good about it. One may even like it. One should not tell such people that they are denying something, or say that they are selling themselves, that they are pricing their value. You see, it is not for us to judge. Everyone can do what they want with their body, it is their unquestionable right.

However, the danger arises when, underneath this materialistic approach, there is a desire for self-destruction, a desire to simultaneously dominate, to be in charge − I decide what happens to my body − and, at the same time, I desire to humiliate myself in my own eyes − I sell myself and I'm nothing, I don't want affection because I don't deserve it.

This issue is very complex and delicate, judging too quickly, especially by outsiders, will be even more hurtful to such people, a confirmation that they will never be loved and accepted, so they will be afraid to make sexuality emotional, which will lead to the opposite effect that we would all like."

The presenter nodded with understanding.

"If the professor were to state what it should look like in an ideal world, what would the professor say?"

The man laughed good-naturedly, stroking his white beard.

"I don't have an answer to that. I think that in an ideal world, the person who is made for us would be highlighted to us in green and those who hurt us in red. But we don't have that option. I think the fundamental mistake of every human being is to make judgements prematurely, instead of being willing to understand, to offer conversation, to support.

Calling someone a whore or a slut has never helped anyone, what's more, it only makes such people even more likely to have suicidal thoughts and be afraid to seek help when they feel they need it, because they are scared of revealing themselves to their parents or loved ones."

The presenter moved on to the next topic, but he heard nothing more, staring blankly at the floor, leaning forward so that his elbows were on his knees − he felt himself trembling all over, his eyes burning from the moisture that had gathered under his eyelids, his throat all clenched.

He felt her hand on his back and he shuddered, glancing over his shoulder at her with wide eyes − she was leaning over him worriedly, he could smell her pleasant scent again.

"Are you all right? Do you want to go out for some fresh air?" She asked frightened, clearly seeing how pale he was, and he nodded in embarrassment.

By the time they got outside it was completely dark; he reached with his shaking hand into the inside pocket of his leather jacket, taking out a cigarette and a lighter, firing it quickly and putting it into his mouth.

He felt her looking at him − they were standing in the square in front of the main entrance where there was no one but them, all around them was the loud hum of moving cars.

For some reason he felt desperate and miserable, weak, small; he clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head, trying to pull himself together. He sat down on the cold stone steps and she immediately sat down next to him, far too close.

He sighed when he felt her hand on his shoulder, stroking him gently, her warm breath on his cheek cool from the crisp evening air. He let out a loud puff of smoke with his lips, thinking only of how he had never let any woman touch him.

He placed his hand on hers, wanting to feel her for once, her skin soft as silk, exactly as he had imagined; he looked at her in pain, her eyebrows arched in worry, in incomprehension of what had actually happened.

"I'm selling myself." He said finally, desperate, and she blinked as if she didn't understand what she had just heard.

He took a drag again, not taking his eyes off her, and let the smoke out through his nose.

"I do all sorts of fucked up things to women for money and get satisfaction out of it, you know?" He asked in a low, trembling voice, feeling devastated how tears of shame one by one began to run down his face.

He felt himself shaking all over and thought he was an idiot, wondering how he could have said that to her. For some reason, he felt something inside him break.

He wanted her to know, to tell him she was disgusted with him, to look at him with that look full of reserve, to tell him it was nothing and just go away simply to let him finally stop thinking about her.

He saw her tighten her lips, her eyes turning red, her eyebrows arching in sorrow as if she was in pain as he was. He felt a pleasant shudder when her hand stroked gently through his hair as if he were a small child, and then she hugged her face to his cheek and simply remained silent.

She didn't say anything.

She stayed.

She wanted to comfort him.

Delighted at this revelation, he burst out into a quiet, mournful sob, leaned over and snuggled his face into her neck, wanting to hide from his own shame and remorse, from what she might think of him, from what he feared and could not forgive himself for.

Why did he have to be like this?

Why exactly did this give him fulfilment?

He sighed quietly as she put her arms around him and hugged him, her soft hand stroking his cheek with gentle, slow movements, her face nestled against his hair and placing a gentle kiss on it.

"You didn't do anything wrong." She whispered finally; he swallowed hard, rubbing the tip of his nose against her neck, brushing his lips gently against her bare skin, again, and then again.

He felt her tremble and tighten her hands on his leather jacket, his manhood in his trousers completely hard.

He had no idea what had just happened between them, but he didn't want to stop.

After a moment, as his emotions left him he realised what he had done.

That he had told a complete stranger about who he was, revealed to her his darkest secret.

This thought made him panic − he got up abruptly and mumbled through his tears that he would go home already, that he apologised to her for everything, not listening to her pleas to wait for her, running quickly down the stone stairs, walking ahead.

He looked over his shoulder as he turned into the corner of the next street and noticed with some kind of disappointment that she was not following him.

He burst out into uncontrollable sobs for the second time once he had locked himself in his car having complete chaos in his head, feeling that he was going through some kind of panic attack.

He thought that until he'd met her he hadn't felt this way, that the idea that he couldn't date her because of what he'd done made him start to regret it all.

What was he supposed to do now?

He reached for his phone hearing it vibrate and unlocked it quickly seeing as many as three new messages from her.

He clenched his eyelids, dropping his phone on the other seat, hiding his face in his hands.

He needed to calm down.

He sat like that for a few minutes in silence, not thinking about anything, just breathing, and then he drove home as if nothing had happened.

He entered his flat, took a shower, ate something and then turned on the TV, all mechanical, completely empty; he shuddered when he got a new message, reaching uncertainly for his phone and felt an unpleasant twinge in his stomach when he saw it was one of his clients.

She wanted to meet the next day.

No, he thought.

I don't want to.

He wrote her back that he was taking a break from it all for a while.

He was infuriated when she started texting him to tell him not to do it, that she needed him, that meeting him made her want to go on living.

He slammed his phone furiously into the wall.

What about what he fucking needed?

When he picked it up after several minutes he found that it worked despite the cracked screen.

He accessed the last messages he'd received from Robert's sister and began typing quickly to her on his phone's keypad.

He pressed his lips together when he saw that she immediately displayed his message, a bubble popped up in his app window indicating that she had just written back to him.

He swallowed loudly, writing her back without thinking, without controlling himself, allowing himself to shamelessly write her exactly what was in his head.

He stared at the screen with a pounding heart, wondering whether to do it or not, walking restlessly around his living room with his phone in his hands − he typed out the answer slowly, feeling that he was hot.

She didn't reply for a long time even though he could see that she had displayed his message.

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head, laughing despairingly under his breath, not believing how desperate he was.

He'd known it from the moment he'd seen her, when she'd gotten off that fucking bike and looked at him with those big, innocent eyes of hers.

He stood looking at her message as if stupefied, reading it again and again, unable to believe it, feeling like he was about to die from the arousal and heat he felt in his chest, his fingers trembling as he tapped out his reply to her.

And so she did.

He didn't dare propose to meet her alone, knowing how that would have gone down on his part.

He didn't want to scare her off.

However, they wrote with each other for days, even during his classes; Criston and Robert laughed at him for having a girlfriend and not even wanting to introduce her to them.

He didn't care.

She was the first person he told about how it all started, what he felt when he did it, what aroused him and what repulsed him about it all.

She listened to him and answered him with sincere concern and worry, without judging him, without pretending it was a simple and obvious subject, giving him a sense of comfort and understanding.

He made it clear to her that he had refrained from any contact with strange women for the time being.

He licked his lower lip as he lay back in his bed, writing her off quickly.

He swallowed hard when she wrote him back after a moment.

He felt a squeeze in his heart at her words, some kind of pain that she thought of herself that way, that she saw herself as just another person he wanted to take out on.

He chuckled involuntarily, typing back a quick response to her question.

He blinked, looking at his screen with a pounding heart, not believing what he read.

______

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes

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lawrites · 4 months

Text

Rubens Can Suck It!!

Sweet Gotham S1! Edward Nygma x Plus Size! Female Reader

You are having an awful day when someone leaves a note on your desk, describing your figure. It sets you off, and Ed is the one who seeks to comfort you.

This fic features a LOT of insecurities, specifically around being plus size. It talks about the feeling of being seen by others and how shitty some officers at the GCPD are. But Ed is sweet. No warnings beyond that EXCEPT some dirty thoughts from Ed 👀.

It's been an awful morning and it's only 8 AM.

As a woman who works in a field primarily made up of men, especially a plus size woman, you have made your confidence into your armor. Yeah some of the officers could be pigs, (most of them, actually), but you do love your body and how it looks, so it doesn't bother you.

You enjoy wearing bold colors, pretty dresses, structured pant suits, and even pencil skirts to work most days. They make you feel infallible, and you KNOW you look cute in them. No matter what those tiny men say, you can get through the day feeling good.

And usually...it works. There are some days that you think everyone struggles with their looks, no matter their size. It's what happens when your society is constantly screaming "YOU CAN BE BETTER BUY THIS PRODUCT" at you from all angles.

And so, while you are beating yourself up for letting your confidence slip, you decide to go ahead and make yourself more comfortable while you get it back. Especially because trying to force it wasn't working.

Every glance in the mirror was followed by a critical voice, today. Your hair just didn't sit right, your chosen outfit was too tight and the textures were bothering you, and the high heels you sometimes wear would clack and bring eyes to you. All of that sounded just...exhausting, especially when you just want to get through the day and go home without drawing any attention to yourself.

While usually a pair of eyes on you wouldn't bother you, the thought of Harvey Bullock only staring at your tits when he talks to you, or Jim glancing up and down in what he thinks is a subtle way, or any of the officers giggling when you walk by...yeah it would take only one thing to set you off today, you can tell.

So, while it isn't the most flattering outfit you own, you throw your hair into a ponytail and pull an oversized sweater and linen pants on. Comfy, cozy, still professional enough, and properly disguising your body from any eyes, appreciative or insulting.

After that rollercoaster of emotions while you were getting ready, you don't have time to stop for coffee on your way in, which just adds to your mood. And, of fucking course, some guy decided to begin terrorizing Gotham at 7 in the fucking morning, so all public transport is delayed.

You barely manage to get to your desk by 8 AM with no coffee and already in a bad mood. Setting your stuff down, you dig your palms into your eyes, trying to fight off the urge to just leave. A small slip of paper in neat handwriting makes you smile just a bit, though.

What is always found on the ground

But never gets dirty?

You struggle for a second, your brain moving at a slow pace thanks to the lack of coffee. That is, until you hear footsteps and something blocks the lights streaming in from the windows. You gasp and turn towards Edward Nygma, who is standing right next to you and casting a...

"Shadow!" You blurt out.

He gives you one of his sweet, tight-lipped smiles and nods. "Correct!"

You force a cheery tone to your voice so you don't spoil his mood. Ed may be a bit...odd, but he is one of your best friends here, and he doesn't deserve to be brought down just because you aren't in a good mood. "Great! How many is that so far, Eddie?"

He immediately recites, "That would be 85 riddles correctly guessed out of 90 I have shared with you. 3 you needed a hint for and 2 you did not solve entirely."

You cross your arms in mock anger. "Hey! I did my best! Those ones were hard. It's almost like you wanted me to fail or something."

He hurriedly scrambles to get the next sentence out, "Oh! Oh I would n-never! I j-just..."

Whoops, guess your bad mood made that "mock" anger sound more like actual anger. You take on a placating tone, "Ed, it's ok! I know you just enjoy riddles. And sometimes that big brain of yours makes up a new one that stumps me."

You laugh, maybe a bit bitterly, now, as your bad mood forces itself to the front again. The next sentence is nearly mumbled, "I mean, it must be difficult, sometimes, making puzzles for someone who isn't as smart as you."

Ed seems confused more than anything, now. "I'm...I'm not sure what brought that on, but writing down riddles for you every morning is f-fun for me!"

You sigh, twirling a pen from your desk in your hand to avoid eye contact. "It's just...it's just one of those days, Ed. I couldn't find an outfit that made me look nice..."

Ed interrupts you with his insistence, but he still stumbles over his words, "B-but you always look n-nice!"

Your smile comes out as a grimace, "You're sweet, Ed, but everyone doesn't think so." You glance around to make sure that your next words aren't overheard. "I know that I can usually brush cruel insults away, because I try to tell myself I'm beautiful..." You choke out the last part of your sentence, cutting yourself off before you get too emotional in the middle of the office.

You get up and decide to leave the main lobby to get some of the shitty coffee from the break room. At least there you could better disguise the tears in your eyes. "It's really not a big deal, Ed. I guess I'm just not myself, today. Give it a day or two and I'll be more amusing."

And without waiting for a response, you hurry off.

He stands there awkwardly for a few moments, unsure how to respond to the dismissal you just gave him. Usually the two of you would talk for at least 5 more minutes.

Wracking his brain as he walks away, he tries to think of something to cheer you up.

-----------------------------------------

Rubens

Flashes of his paintings fly through Ed's mind as he attempts to type out a sweet note to you. Every time he gets a glance of a plush thigh or your soft belly, he thinks of how he painted Venus, the Goddess of Beauty.

A voice he's been trying to avoid for a while now pipes up, Yeah, Goddess of only beauty? I'm sure that's all you're thinking about, Ed. How about Goddess of Se-

Ed cuts the voice off before it can finish that thought, but now he is unfortunately thinking about it, even at work. Rubens didn't paint all of his women clothed, especially Venus. Her nude form fuses with yours in Ed's mind, haunting him, taunting him.

There's just...so much he can play with. Your body...so much he can sink his long fingers into. He goes back to your belly, what he has ascertained to be the main source of your insecurity. He empathizes with that, but all he can think of whenever you wear something tight is bending you over in the medical lab on site and holding onto that plush belly as he-

Again, he cuts himself off. He would like to think that the other voice took over again there, but those thoughts were all him. He adjusts himself a bit as he sits at his desk, trying to be subtle.

Then he looks back at the screen in front of him, remembering your mood today, and that hits him like a bucket of cold water. He curses the tears in your eyes from old insecurities popping up again. He has seen you become more and more confident in your time at the GCPD, learning to ignore the pigs that giggle at everything that isn't "normal" to them.

Ed knows that feeling, and especially the taunts from those cops, well. He's off, to them. He never quite knows when to start or end a conversation, and he injects his interests even when he knows people are tired of them.

And that's why he likes (loves) you. You always smile and try with his riddles. You even continue to talk to him after, and are interested in who he is outside of work! That's rare. And if he could return that joy you have given him every day, it would be worth it for the possibility of you figuring out his true thoughts.

Unfortunately, while he has a mind for riddles, analytics, and all things mathematical, he has not been as blessed with poetry. So he wants to type this out...if nothing else than to keep you from feeling like you owe him something.

He types and deletes and types and deletes, looks at the clock, drums his fingers on the desk, and then types slowly this time. Reading it over, he nods at what he has written. It's not amazing, but he hopes it will make you feel like there are people in the office that are on your side, maybe even a secret admirer.

-------------------------------------

And now you're soaking wet. You just wanted to escape your desk and get a simple sandwich and the sky decided that it was a perfect time to begin a deluge right before you got back to the GCPD building. Why? God hates you, apparently. There's no other explanation that would satisfy your overdramatic mind at this point in time.

Luckily you managed to keep your precious food dry by stuffing it under your coat, but the rest of you is definitely not so lucky. You huff and start towards your desk. Bullock sees you on the way, starts a sentence of some sort, (most likely to quip at your condition), but the glare you send his way shuts him up immediately.

You end up collapsing at your desk and peeling off your outer coat, feeling the air conditioning of the building start to combine with your wet clothes to make a chill seep into your bones. Trying to ignore it but unable to suppress a shiver, you place your food on your desk...wait...is that? It is! Someone left a little typed note to you under the bag.

You pick up the note, giving it a quick glance to see if there was anything to connect it to someone. There are no initials or name...hmmm.

Your eyes read over the words on the page once...twice. And your heart shatters. How could...why would...how could someone be so heartless that they would taunt you today of all days?

There is a group of those rude, awful officers that like to congregate together around the water cooler, gossiping and laughing at anyone who wasn't them. But right now, one of them is talking while looking directly at you, and when he stops he throws his head back in laughter, with the rest following.

Holding back a sob, you crumple the letter in your hand and get out of the room as fast as you can without running. As soon as you are out of their sight, tears start streaming down your face and you run to a nearby empty room. It doesn't even matter what it is, you just care that it's empty and safe and lock the door behind you, collapsing against a wall and trying to catch your breath as you gasp for air.

You hold that position for only about 30 seconds, trying to muffle your sobs so they couldn't be heard by anyone outside, but apparently you weren't quiet enough. A quiet knock sounds on the door.

Tap tap tap

You do your best to school your voice, but it still comes out shaky as you reply "Please find another room."

But the voice that filters through the door is one you recognize well.

"Y-you looked cold, so I brought you an emergency blanket. Oh! And a-also your lunch."

You let out a sob, unable to stifle it. "T-thank you, Ed." And you walk over to the door to unlock it, opening it just a tad so he can't see your state.

But Ed is observant, and even with what little you present to him, he can see you are massively upset. Your eyes are bloodshot, and you are trembling, whether from the cold or from your current emotions, that he can't tell. He tries his best to gather some courage.

"W-would you mind if I sat with you for l-lunch?" He holds up your bag of food and you notice that his own lunch is clasped in his hand behind it.

Quickly, you try to consider if you are ready to fully cry in front of Ed, but his kind, if nervous, smile and his own insistence on joining you made you certain that he wouldn't be too judgemental.

You turn your head to the side to try and hide it a bit more as you step back to open the door. Your arm sweeps over to gesture to where you were sitting. "Be my guest, Mr. Nygma."

This makes him let out a nervous chuckle, but he enters anyway. You close the door behind him and lock it.

"I hope you don't mind, I just don't want anyone to see me...well..."

He nods, "That is perfectly understandable."

You both stand awkwardly for a few moments, but you eventually feel the floor calling to you again, so you nestle against the wall where you previously had collapsed. Ed slowly settles down at a respectable distance from you, his gangly limbs shuffling until he finds a comfortable position.

When he hands you your bag of food, he decides it's better to talk about what happened than sit in silence. "M-may I ask why you are upset?" You glance at him, and your eyes start to fill with tears again. He hurriedly starts to stutter through another sentence, "Oh! B-but if you p-prefer not to talk about it, t-that's ok!"

You shake your head, glancing down at the floor. "I just...I guess people like to take advantage of you when you're down sometimes, Ed."

You sigh, but begin feeling more angry than sad. "I mean, I've been in a bad mood all day, I got rained on when I was just trying to get some food, and then some asshole leaves me this."

You open your hand to reveal the crumpled note to Ed. He keeps his face as neutral as he can, recognizing it. Oh no, you fucked up, Ed! The voice in his head gleefully taunts.

Your sniffle brings him back, and you look down at the note, spreading it out so you can read it out loud.

"While you are not seen by others as a beauty

I cannot keep myself from glancing at your desk.

Your figure is full, and yet one word sticks truly,

I can only describe you as such: Rubenesque."

Ed ponders over the poem, while a bit rudimentary, it was full of his true compliments to you. But your face crumples when you get to the last word, stuttering it out.

Your eyes look to him, "I mean, Ed! How could someone write this?"

You see his face scrunch in confusion. "I admit, I do not quite understand. I see nothing wrong with the note?"

Feeling frustration well inside of you, you gesture with your hands wildly. "Nothing wrong? It's that word, Rubenesque!! It's an insult, I know it, especially with how those assholes were glancing at me as I read it, laughing once I was done."

Ed seems to be more confused now. "I was not aware it was an insult?"

You nod, and remember all of the times you have heard it in the past, "It's always been used by people who want to try and appear to be kind, but truly aren't. They call me Rubenesque in this snide tone, like it's something they can barely stand to spit out of their mouths."

Ed tries to interrupt, but you continue, softer now. "I just don't know Ed. The whole note seems to be mocking me...calling me full figured and not a beauty. Am I really that bad?" He shakes his head while you feel tears starting again, so you look down at the floor.

Now at a whisper, you barely get out the next words. "I just...I don't even want someone to like me anymore. I just want them to leave me alone." With that vulnerable confession, you sob, and bring your hands to your face, trying desperately to cover it. A shiver runs through you again.

After a few beats, you feel warmth around you, and you glance up to see that Ed has moved closer to cover you with the blanket he brought. His long arms stay in place in a hug after he positions it, keeping you close to him. You are a bit taken aback, as the most that Ed has touched anyone in the past was maybe a handshake.

He leans down so you can hear him, his voice more sure, now, even if it is soft. "Do you know about the painter, Rubens?"

You shake your head. "Is that where the term comes from?" He nods. Not feeling charitable, you grab the blanket and bring it closer around you as you grumble out, "Rubens can suck it."

He lets out a giggle at that, and you feel your heart warm at the noise. "I understand that you feel it is an insult...would you mind if I explain what it really means?"

You nod, because even if it is as bad as you make it out to be, at least you can hear his voice as he explains it.

One of his hands strokes the blanket surrounding you, right on top of your arm. "Rubens painted many different subjects, but the descriptor of Rubenesque usually refers to his nude paintings of women. Specifically, women like Venus."

You lift up your head to look at him. "Venus as in the Goddess of Beauty?"

He nods, gently. "Yes, among...other things." His eyes darken for just a moment before returning to his informative rant. "The women he paints are known to be full-figured, yes, but they are beautiful because of that, in my opinion."

You sit as still as you can, barely breathing, wanting to hear every word he says. A long finger comes under your chin and guides your face until you are looking right at him. "I wrote you that note. I think you are the definition of beauty."

And with that, he brings you gently forward, looking in your eyes the whole time. You let him, and lean forward to meet his lips. The kiss you share is sweet and short, but it fills you with a giddiness that makes you feel like a teen experiencing her first kiss again.

You separate smiling at each other, and Ed reaches up to kiss your forehead. "I apologize for upsetting you. I was trying to be a secret admirer."

You chuckle, "Yeah, well, it didn't help that I read the note as uncharitably as I could." You glance up at him, "I'm sorry for crumpling it up in anger."

He shakes his head. "D-don't apologize. I'll write you as m-many bad poems as you want." One of his long arms slowly moves down, and a finger traces your hip over the blanket. "Is this ok?"

You feel a warmth spark through you again as he makes contact, and all you trust yourself to do is nod. He nuzzles into your neck, whispering in your ear.

"I want you to know, right now, so there is no doubt, I love your body. These hips, your plush belly...even your soft arms." You feel his warm breath on your ear, and it makes you shudder. "They all remind me of art, and they make me want to..."

He trails off, and brings his hand away from your hip quickly, as if burned. You miss his touch, already, and confusedly ask, "What? Ed?"

You can't tell anything from his neutral face, but he gets up, suddenly, grabbing your lunches together again. "Let's find a better place for lunch, more comfortable...maybe with a table."

You nod, standing up with him. As you position the blanket around you, Ed wraps an arm around your waist.

"A-and...if you would like...have dinner with me tonight. I'll cook for you and...tell you more of my thoughts."

Your cheeks heat up, and his do as well. "Ed, I..." You think for a moment. "I'd love to have dinner with you."

He grins at you, again-one of his sappy, closed mouth grins-and leads you out of the room in his embrace. The two of you chat and giggle, seeking out a proper place for lunch and ignoring all of the stares you get. If you have each other, the rest of the world doesn't matter.

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#lawrites #plus size reader #x reader #reader #plus size fic #gotham #gotham x reader #edward nygma x reader #gotham rogues x reader #gotham edward nygma

158 notes · View notes

nolita-fairytale · 1 year

Text

try a little tenderness | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader one shot

summary: on the anniversary of mikey's death, you help carmy find a way to grieve. (set in the make my heart surrender universe, but can be read as a standalone piece)

warnings: swearing, grief, mild angst, mentions of death & suicide, second person pov, no use of y/n

wc: 2.3k

a/n: i wrote this as a way to process my own grief over the loss of a close friend to suicide. i fell so deeply in love with 'the bear' because i saw myself in so many of these characters: how they responded to losing mikey, the nature of the loss, and the ways they fought their grief. i see so much of myself in carmy in the show and this ended up being really cathartic to write, even though it's been three years now. anyways, heavy shit ahead so don't feel obligated to read but thank you if you do.

(banner made by @allthefandomstogether)

Grief is a funny thing.

For Carmy, most days it’s something easy to ignore – like an old friend that he’s managed to cut out of his day to day. He’s stopped calling, stopped picking up the phone, eliminated any and all thought about this thing that feels so foreign yet, so familiar at the same time.

But now he has you – and he’s never been able to bullshit you for shit. Some days, he feels like you see right through him. He knows he’s been irritable, short, impatient at the restaurant (and sometimes at home too). It’s something you handle better than he expected – better than he thinks he deserves.

“Honey, can we take a pause from this conversation? I just don’t think either of us are in the right headspace,” you’d asked him the other day when he’d tried to pick a fight with you. Completely caught off guard, Carmy had stared at you blankly in response, as if you’d suggested you both run naked down the street.

“If you wanna fight, we can fight. I just… don’t think this is what you’re upset about,” you’d explained, before slipping into the bedroom with the book you were halfway through.

And today, after he’d tried to pick another fight with you, you’d stopped him again, like a tornado hitting an immovable wall.

“Carmy, I’m not going to fight you about the dishes,” you’d sighed, shooting him a sympathetic look. “I’m gonna take a walk and pick some things up at the store for dinner. Is that still something you’d like to do?”

How could he forget when he’d been making his brother’s family recipe earlier that day, setting the braciole-filled dutch oven in the fridge to be put into the oven for later? But he almost has – another symptom of how checked out he’s been all week.

He’s not used to this. He’s used to his siblings – his mom – picking fights over the smallest things that usually escalated into a screaming match. And while you were willing to fight over things that felt worthy to go to bat for, always quick to call him out when he’s being a dick, you don’t engage in his smaller, more frivolous attempts at starting something over the smallest, nitpicky things.

It’s a whole new pattern for him, and he’ll admit, it’s harder than you make it look.

Earlier in the week, he knew he’d been in a trash mood. Then he looked at the calendar and saw what date was coming:

2/22/23.

Oh.

No wonder he’s been such an ass.

And now wonder you’ve been such a saint.

“Oh, um…” he stammers, as he realizes his memory has failed him again. “Uh… yeah, we can still do that.”

He’d forgotten you’d made plans for dinner in preparation for today, and truthfully, he’d been so absent-minded all week that he’s forgotten – forgotten about the plan, forgotten about what day it was, forgotten that that day was now today. Thankfully, you’d had the sense to make sure he was off that day, coordinating with the staff of The Bear to make it happen. While you knew everyone would be grieving today, you weren’t interested in a repeat of last year when the both of you were still in New York.

Sydney, the real hero of this story, had moved mountains to get everyone’s schedules nailed down for this week – knowing it’d be a hard week for everyone that knew and loved Mikey.

“No, we do not need a repeat of last year,” Sydney had agreed, as you’d explained to her the shit show that was Carmy going into work that night, one year ago. “Don’t worry. I’ll run the kitchen. Tap as many newer staff as I can to work too.”

With the recent press about The Bear (not to mention Sydney’s official James Beard finalist status) there’d been a huge increase in applicants lately. You couldn’t thank Syd enough.

“Okay. I love you, Carm. I’ll be back in a bit,” you reassure, before grabbing his keys and your coat.

“Yeah,” he mutters quietly, as he watches you go.

After lighting up a few in the apartment, he lays down on the couch, turning on something mind-numbing to not pay attention to on the TV. He’s not sure when or how long it takes him to drift off to sleep, but one minute he’s blinking his eyes closed, and the next he can hear the sounds of pots and pans clamoring around the kitchen.

He feels guilty: guilty for being an ass, guilty for trying to start something, guilty about what Mikey did.

You’ve told him time and time again: “I don’t think it’s fair to yourself to carry this much blame, Bear.” While normally, he’d love the way his familial nickname sounded coming from you, he’d winced at the mention – just because today, it hits a little too close to home.

He knows it’s not fair to himself – or to you – but it’s something he’s just not ready to let go of yet.

He can smell the braciole he’d prepared earlier that day; you’ve already put it in the oven, letting it braise slowly like it was meant to be. He recalled the conversation you both had had about this a few weeks ago.

“Let’s make a meal he’d like,” you’d proposed, wanting to be a supportive

“The braciole. Or maybe his spaghetti,” he’d suggested, so matter-of-factly that you could tell he was trying to mask his emotions.

“Maybe both?” you’d countered him.

“Yeah,” he‘d agreed, quick to put himself out of the discomfort the conversation was causing him.

“How do you feel about maybe asking some of the others to stop by, Only if they want. Only if you’re up for it,” you’d continued, cautiously.

“Can I let you know?” he’d asked.

“Sure,” you’d agreed, even though you knew he wouldn’t be bringing it up again.

As Carmy sits up from the couch, his mind drifting back to the present, he sees you posted up in front of his little apartment’s stove top, working on his brother’s spaghetti sauce. Pangs of guilt fill his chest, and he feels like absolute garbage for being a dick earlier. He can’t picture doing anything else tonight and he’s glad you had the foresight to do this. Carmy rubs the sleep out of his eyes, watching you move around the kitchen. You’ve got a window open just in case that tricky little smoke alarm goes off while you’re steeping the garlic in olive oil.

You’re busy trying to maneuver the largest saute pan Carmy owns over the burner for maximum heat exposure when he approaches. The sun’s already set, and the heat from the kitchen leaves a fog on the windows right near the stove, as you shake the saute pan by its handle.

“Hey,” Carmy says, his voice rough with sleep.

“Hey,” you reply, a soft smile on your lips as you turn to him. “Sleep alright?”

His unruly curls seem exceptionally messy this evening, and you can smell the remnants of the cigarettes he smoked while you were out. You hate how sexy you still find the nasty habit, even though you’ve tried your best to get him to cut back, citing lung cancer as a top reason. As much as you hate to admit it, you’re eager to taste the cigarettes on his lips, wiping your hands on your jeans because, unlike Carmy, you could care less to wear an apron at home. Framing his face with both of your hands, you place a gentle kiss on his lips, breathing him in as he kisses you back.

“Sorry I was an ass earlier,” Carmy says, in between kisses.

“Thanks. You’re kind of allowed to be an ass today though,” you say back.

He can’t believe you’re letting him off the hook this easily.

“And what about tomorrow?” he asks, taking a more playful approach this time.

“No, definitely not. Cut off. Ass privileges? Revoked,” you’re quick to banter back, earning a dry laugh from your boyfriend.

As you return to your post in front of the stove, Carmy slaps your butt playfully from your earlier comment, eliciting a giggle from you as he does it. He watches you work, adding salt to the tomato, onion, and butter you’re reducing in the saute pan, while the saucepan-filled olive oil/garlic/basil mixture comes up to a simmer.

“I know you’ve always said that Mikey’s pasta was over-sauced and under seasoned… but it sounds like he just needed a little extra salt and a few little tweaks here and there,” you continue, tasting the tomato sauce.

He’s not ready to taste the sauce just yet, even though he’d suggested you make the spaghetti in the first place. He watches as you use a spoon to check for salt levels, tasting the sauce first. You throw your head back as the salty tomato mixture hits your tongue. Carmy watches you carefully as you remove the sprig of basil with a pair of tongs, tossing it into a deli container for the trash later. Placing the deli container on the counter next to the rest of things you need to dispose of, his eyes linger on the 28 oz San Marzanos.

Because the small ones taste better….

You busy yourself with straining the oil, setting it aside to add to the sauce towards the end of the process. Carmy checks his phone briefly, seeing a few texts from Richie, Syd, and Tina – all just checking in.

“Silly question, I know. But how are you doing?” you ask him, having found a good stopping point.

Carmy thinks about it for a second. He’s not sure how he wants to answer – how he’s supposed to answer this question.

“I’m… I don’t know,” he managed to get out.

You nod in acceptance, before replying with an empathetic, “That makes sense.”

“It doesn’t feel real, I guess?” he admits, taking his time as the words fall out of his mouth.

“I can only imagine, Carm,” you sympathize. “Wanna help me out?”

“Yeah,” he replies, a half smile on his face.

You’re so kind, so understanding, so empathetic, and he can’t picture spending this day with anyone but you. He thinks back to last year – when he got the news. It was the worst day of his life and regardless of that fact, you’d been there: caring enough to show up, to fight with him, to make sure he ate something. And then that night… the night you crossed the line, slept together even though both of you knew it was a bad idea, that there was no way you could start something real.

He’s not sure how you got from there to here, but he thanks his lucky stars for whatever good deed he’s done in a past life that’s led to it.

“Thank you for this,” he says intentionally, making sure you hear him as he continues with, in reference to earlier, “... and I love you too.”

You don’t expect anything from him, and he’s grateful, because he’s not sure he has anything to give. Not today.

You give him the softest smile, something that makes him want to melt right there and then when you reply with:

“You don’t need to thank me.”

You step aside, making space for Carmy as you give him a task to do to help with dinner. You made the executive decision not to scale Michael’s recipes down, making them as written – family style. If anything, you hope to bring some of the leftovers, sharing his food in honor of his life. You wish you could’ve met Mikey, and since you didn’t get to, making his food feels like the best way to get to know the man Carmy loved and admired so much.

You queue up a good playlist, working in perfect harmony with Carmy till dinner is ready to eat. Between the braciole and the spaghetti, you know you’ll have more than enough leftovers to feed the two of you for the next week. You let Carmy plate – something he’s truly exceptional at – watching him as he creates a perfect twirl of spaghetti before tearing a few pieces of basil for garnish. As you bring the spaghetti to Carmy’s small dining table that is only meant to seat two, he plates up the braciole on one plate for the both of you to share. You set the table, enjoying the sounds of the playlist you’ve set for the night, before sitting down to eat.

Carmy takes his first bite of the spaghetti, knowing that it’s not going to be an easy thing for him. You watch closely as he tastes the sauce, his eyes closing and face turning a darker shade redder.

You wait a beat, letting him settle in before asking:

“What do you think?”

He nods his head, “It’s fire.” You can see that he’s holding back tears, not ready to lose all control just yet. “It’s actually better… than Mikey’s”

You eat your dinner quietly. It’s the good kind of quiet but the air feels heavy. Carmy may not always have the words for what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t need to right now. You try the braciole together, sharing one plate as he tells you about how Mikey refused to use raisins, even though that’s how they grew up eating the beef dish. You listen, letting him travel down memory lane, only as far as he’d like tog.

Halfway through dinner, Carmy says something that surprises you:

“We’ve got more than enough leftovers to feed a large family of… twenty,” he states plainly. His blue eyes water as he continues with an ask. “You uh… maybe wanna pack this up and take it to the restaurant tonight?”

“Yeah, Bear. I think everyone would love that," you agree, the smallest smile on your lips. "Would you... wanna tell me a little about him? On our walk there?"

Carmy nods, "Sure. Yeah, I-. I think I can do that."

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