#everyone’s just upset they didn’t think of that sooner

[lavaflowe]

Ao Lie makes a suggestion, the others don’t take it well😔

Based on this convo with @lotusduckiesart and @leptosia-nina :

[gurugirl]

Homewrecker | bfd!harry

best friends dad!harry x reader | forbidden relationship

Summary: The one where you and Harry finally come clean to everyone. Featuring an angry Fae, a spiteful soon-to-be ex wife, divorce terms, and lots of tears.

Word Count: 7360

Warning: 18+ only, mature content, age gap, talk of divorce, cheating, angst

Best Friend's Dad!harry Masterlist

You were tense.

And it wasn’t just that. It was that you could tell Harry was tense too. He was quiet. It made you nervous. Made you wonder if he was regretting his decision. He was loving when you’d first boarded the plane. But once it landed, he hardly looked at you. You were dropped off at your apartment by a taxi but were surprised when Harry asked the driver to wait. He helped you bring your suitcase up to your door and gave you a quick kiss before telling you he was going to have the taxi drop him off at his house so he could get his car. He told you he’d be back at your place in a couple of hours but he wouldn’t tell you where he was going. You weren’t sure he’d really come back.

You felt sick. You felt terrified you were losing him. But of course, you never deserved him in the first place. He was happily married with a great career and a beautiful daughter with a good head on her shoulders. Life was good for him. And would have been for years to come. If it hadn’t been for you. You were a homewrecker.

You didn’t have the energy to unpack your suitcase so you sat down and took a deep breath as you dared to look through all your messages and listen to the voicemails. You had envisioned checking your messages with Harry by your side, comforting you and you comforting him, but since he wasn’t there you did it alone.

The progression of anger from Fae was easy to see. She first left a voicemail and she sounded more concerned than angry at that point. She was calm.

Then it was a text. And another that could be read as mad. Then the one you read at the airport where you knew without a doubt that she was upset. And then to her last series of text messages sent Saturday morning.

Your silence is telling. So is his. I can’t believe either of you would do this. I hope I’m wrong. I’m hoping this is all a mistake and that it’s a coincidence that you and my dad have gone AWOL at the same time. But if this turns out to be real, Y/n? I don’t think I could ever speak to you or my dad again. I know you’d feel the same if I did this to you.

You sat your phone down and stared at your TV that you hadn’t turned on yet. It was impossible to process what you’d just read. It was shocking. You knew it was coming but to see it in a text was jarring.

It took you a few minutes to lift your phone up and listen to your mother’s voicemail.

Hey honey. I got a call from Fae and she’s really concerned about you and… her dad? She said she needs to get a hold of you. Will you call her when you get this? Or have Harry call her?

And, Y/n, I just want to say too, that no matter what, honey. I love you. You can always reach out to me if you need help or want to talk. Your father and I won’t judge you even if it’s true. I love you. Call me after you call Fae.

Closing your eyes you lay down on your side. Your mother even knew. Fae must have called her and told her everything. It hurt. But it was deserved. You deserved the hurt and shame. You’d done some very bad things. Your mother knowing was the least of your problems. Your biggest problem was that you were a homewrecker. You’d damaged a family because you were selfish.

You hit the call button and put your phone to your ear, keeping your eyes closed.

“Y/n. I was starting to get worried. Are you okay?” Your mother’s words were rushed.

“I’m fine, Mom. I’m so sorry about this. I would have called you sooner but I was trying to avoid my phone for a couple of days.”

“What are you avoiding, Y/n? Is it true? You and Fae’s dad?”

You swallowed thickly, “Yeah. It’s true.”

The line was silent for a moment. You waited to let your mom respond when she was ready. It was a lot to hear. You understood her silence.

“Okay. Well… you know I love you, honey. I hope you know what you’re doing. You’re an adult so you get to make these decisions and I trust that you never meant to hurt anyone.”

“Of course not. I never thought,” you felt a tear slip down your cheek, “… that this would happen. It was never meant to get this far. But,” you pushed yourself up to sit, “I fell in love. And now it’s too late. And we have to face the music. And,” you sniffled as you pulled your phone out to look at the time and then put it back to your ear, “I don’t even know where Harry is right now so it all feels like it’s about to just explode on us–“

“Y/n, do you want me to come over?”

You shook your head, “No. No, that’s okay. I’m sorry. This is just so hard.”

At that moment your front door opened and you stood up to see Harry walking in.

“Mom, I’ll call you back, okay? I love you,” you hung up after your mom told you she loved you too.

You tossed your phone on the couch and stepped toward Harry quietly, unsure of how he was feeling. Unsure of how to approach.

Harry took one long stride toward you and wrapped his arms around you, crushing you into his chest. You draped your arms around his middle and just let him squeeze. You were glad he’d come back so soon. You thought he was going to be gone for at least another hour. You also thought it was possible he wouldn’t return.

He loosened his embrace and kissed the top of your head, “I didn’t like how it felt to be away from you. I just needed to go and drive. I don’t really know why. I started to panic,” he spoke quietly as you listened, “When I was dropped off at the house I got into my car and the further away I drove the further away from you I felt and I didn’t like that. I had to turn around and drive back to you.”

You tilted your head back to look up at him, “Are you having second thoughts? Do you regret this?”

Harry brought his hands up to your face and looked down at you intently, “God, baby, no. When I got into that taxi I wasn’t even really thinking. I don’t know why I did it that way, leaving like that. I just… I didn’t mean for it to seem like I needed to be away from you. I don’t want that at all.”

You nodded and it felt like relief to hear him say that. “I was worried. Thought you’d suddenly realized this was a big mistake and you couldn’t go through with it anymore.”

He rocked you softly, stepping from foot to foot to sway, “Absolutely not. It’s me and you, baby.”

“We should text them back. Let them know something. Maybe we can go to them? Tell them everything? I just want to get this over with now, Harry.” You couldn’t handle being secretive with Fae or anyone anymore. You knew this was going to happen one way or another and if you could just finally say it then maybe the worst would be over.

He sighed and let go of you, keeping your hands in his, “Okay. We’ll let them decide when it happens. But I’ll text Fae and her mother.”

You both sat in silence on your couch as you individually texted Fae. Harry texted his wife first.

You didn’t know how to word the text. But you settled on something simple.

I’m so sorry. I feel awful. I want to talk to you, though, whenever you’re ready.

Harry’s phone rang after he sent his first text and he looked at you with worry before holding the phone up to his ear.

“Hello?”

You watched him stand up and pace in silence as he listened to his wife. He ran a hand through his hair and then suddenly stopped and looked down as he closed his eyes.

“Yes. I understand.”

He looked at you and gave you a weak smile. A sad smile and you returned the expression.

“No. Look… don’t say that. She’s not. I think if we can just talk in person this will be better.”

He shook his head and scowled as he began to pace again, “I said don’t say that about her,” his voice was more urgent. Almost angry.

Your phone dinged. Fae had responded.

I’m coming over.

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked up at Harry. Your natural inclination was to tell him to leave because that had been the routine since the beginning. Hiding that he’d been with you. But now that everything was out in the open…

“Fine. We’ll talk tomorrow then... Yes. I know. I am sorry,” he looked at his screen and realized she’d hung up. “Fuck.” He spoke under his breath.

You stood up and cleared your throat, “Fae is coming over.”

Harry looked weary. He nodded and went into your kitchen and pulled down two glasses, “Water?” He asked without turning to look at you.

“Yes, please.”

You watched him fill the glasses with your water pitcher and then handed you a glass as he gulped down half of his in one go.

“We should think about how to tell her. She’ll be here soon.” You reiterated, keeping your distance. Everything felt so foreign. So strange.

Harry placed his glass down and looked at you for a moment before responding, “We’ll just tell her, Y/n. It’s not going to be good but we’ll be honest and tell her what we’ve done. It’s all we can do,” he pushed his hip from the counter and took your free hand, bringing it up to his chest, “I love you. Okay?”

You nodded, “I love you too, Harry.”

When you sat your glass down Harry bent at his knees and lifted you up to the counter and then fit himself in between your legs, putting his palms over your thighs, “I just need you with me, Y/n. Okay?”

You nodded and put your hands on Harry’s shoulders and pulled them around his neck to bring him in for a soft little kiss.

You two stayed like that until there was a knock at your door and Harry helped you down from your spot. He followed behind you as you pulled your door open to see Fae standing there. She looked behind you to her dad and then back at you. Her expression was unreadable.

“Come in.” You gestured to her and moved out of the doorway. She walked past you and her father and into your living room.

“So, it’s true. What the fuck?” She shook her head and looked between you and Harry.

“I’m so sorry this happened,” Harry spoke first. You could hear the small waver in his voice as if he were about to cry, which made you tear up instantly as you watched Fae’s face.

She sat down on the small bench near your records and looked directly at you, “I can’t believe you did this. To me and my mom? To him? Why?”

Oh shit. Here it was. You were being blamed for it all. As you should. You knew what you’d done was disgusting.

You moved to sit down on your couch, pulling your hand out of Harry’s. You needed to sit.

“I can’t believe I did it either. I don’t know why. I’m sorry!” You hiccupped as your tears fell. A pathetic girl. Harry sat next to you and you felt his warm hand on your back as you repeated that you were sorry.

“Mom didn’t deserve this,” Fae looked at her dad, “She’s been so good to us and to you. She was really blindsided by this you know? You hurt her. You cheated on her. I never would have taken you for a cheater.”

Your sniffles and harsh breaths were obnoxious. You didn’t deserve to be feeling sad for yourself. After all, you’d done all the hurting and now people were suffering because of you.

“I know, Fae. Your mother has been wonderful to us. I made a mistake and…” his hand moved up and down your back as he spoke, “I’m sorry this happened. I didn’t expect any of it. It just…” he took a breath, “It just happened and now I’m in love. We’re in love.”

Fae laughed sardonically and you looked at her. She hadn’t shed a single tear.

“Yeah right. Do you know how ridiculous you sound, Dad? In love? With her? She’s my age? What could you possibly have in common with Y/n? Do you two bond over talking about me? Because that’s your only link. Like… I don’t get it at all.”

“We just get along, Fae. Somethings can’t really be explained–“

“Oh, the fuck they can’t. You two had sex and now you think you’re in love. You’re both pathetic. Especially you, Y/n. You broke up a happy marriage because you were selfish and you outright lied to me–“

“Hey, this is my fault, Fae. I’m the one who–“

You put your hand on his knee, “No. Fae’s right. I’m pathetic. I’m a homewrecker. I deserve all of the blame.”

Fae stood up, “Oh the martyr. I see… Yes… Will it make you feel better to know how much I really hate you? Is that what you want? Well,” she laughed, “I’m not giving you that satisfaction. Oh no…” she paced in front of your coffee table as she looked from her father to you, “The part that hurts so much, and the part that I hope you take with you and that eats at you and keeps you up at night is that hating you hurts me. You were my best friend. You and I have done everything together. I trusted you and loved you like you were my sister. When my mom told me what she found out I told her it couldn’t be true. That you would never. I gave you a chance to come clean to me but you lied to my face. I won’t ever forgive you but that doesn’t mean that feels good. It hurts to hate you. You betrayed me.”

You sat in silence. In shame.

Fae pointed at Harry, “And you. You let this happen. Mom is broken. She’s absolutely torn up over this. You blindsided us both and you’re no longer my father.”

“Please, don’t say that Fae, I love you,” Harry stood up.

“Don’t come near me. I don’t want your apologies or your tears. I’m not giving you the chance to make amends or say your peace. I don’t want it,” she scoffed and looked up toward the ceiling to pull her tears back into her eyes. “Mom said this didn’t mean you were abandoning me. That you still love me,” she looked at him and stopped pacing, “I don’t care if you choose her or whatever,” she gestured toward you, “I don’t even want you as my father anymore. You make me sick. What you did is unforgivable. Even if you did leave her and beg me for another chance to be in my life I don’t want it. My life is better without you now that I know who you are.”

Harry sat down and put his head in his hands and began to cry. You could see his shoulders shaking as he let out a strangled sob.

She looked away from Harry and took a breath. You could see she was acting tough. You knew her well. You imagined that the moment she walked out of your apartment she’d finally allow herself to cry.

“You both deserve each other. I hope you have a miserable life together. Actually…” she looked at you, “I take that back. I hope he cheats on you and breaks your heart the way you broke mine. I hope that all this was a waste for both of you. That you don’t even wind up together in the end. Because that’s what you’re hoping for, isn’t it?”

Her glower was intense. Scary.

You opened your mouth, “Fae, I’m–“

“I don’t fucking want to hear it, Y/n. I just wanted to come over here so I could tell you in person how I feel about you,” she laughed and looked at Harry who was still trying to reign in his tears, “I actually didn’t think you’d be here. But I guess this makes it easier. So I only have to do this once.”

She picked up her purse and carried herself quickly to your door but you ran after her just as she stepped outside, “Fae, please! I never wanted to hurt anyone!”

She turned to look at you, tears glazing her eyes, “I know you didn’t. But you did anyway, and it was selfish. Just wait for your turn. He’ll find someone younger in a few years and you’ll be all alone.”

When she walked away you felt Harry’s hand on your shoulder and then his chest pressed to your back as he pulled you into him. You both watched until Fae was out of sight and wondered if that would be it. Wondered if she’d ever come around or if maybe she was right.

He was warm against you. Comforting. “Baby you know she’s just speaking out of anger because she’s hurt. I’m not leaving you. That’s never gonna happen.”

You swallowed and nodded as he spoke quietly into your ear. Surely she was speaking out of anger to hurt you because she was hurt. You could see that. And that was deserved. You should hurt. But part of what she said did strike something in you. Because he’d left his own wife for you. For someone younger. And he probably never imagined he’d cheat on his wife just like at that moment you figured he never imagined he’d leave you either.

“You believe me, right, Y/n?”

You nodded shallowly.

Harry let out a deep breath as he pulled you gently back inside your apartment and turned you to face himself. His eyes were red and his face was splotchy from crying, “Look at me,” he cupped your face softly, “I’m mad for you. I swear on everything,” he ran his thumb under your right eye where a new tear fell, “I’ll never leave you. I love you. This is different, Y/n. God, I never want you to feel that way.”

It wasn’t like you wanted to leave him so you wouldn’t and if he broke your heart eventually, well you also deserved that. Especially after everything you’d done to Fae and her mother…

Harry’s nose touched yours, “Please, Y/n. I can tell you’re upset about what she said. I need to know you trust me and that we’re okay.”

You lifted your arms to wrap around his middle and looked at him, “Whatever happens I’m not going anywhere. I just…” you blinked and grasped the material of his shirt tight, “I fucked up big time. We did. I wasn’t prepared to hear her say any of that. I knew she’d be upset. I feel like this is what I deserve. None of this is okay.”

Harry cradled the back of your head and pressed his forehead into yours gently, “I fucked up, Y/n. I did that. I know what’s been done isn’t good… but you and I can be okay. Being with you is like nothing I’ve ever had. I’ll do everything I can to prove to you how much I love you and how much I want you every day if you need it.”

You tilted your head back and moved to kiss him, pushing your lips against his. You didn’t want him feeling like he’d lost you too. You just needed to sort out your thoughts and it was hard to verbalize everything in that moment.

Harry and Fae’s mother had planned to meet at their house in the morning. He was already making a list of things he’d be packing and bringing to your apartment, knowing she’d be taking the house, “Are you sure it’s okay if I bring all this? I can get a storage unit or something.”

You stood behind him and looked down at his laptop screen. He was sitting at your small kitchen table as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, “It’s fine, Harry. We’ll figure out everything later. We should get some sleep. It’ll be an early morning and we want to go in with clear minds.” Harry turned to look at you as he placed a hand over your forearm, “Baby, I really think it should just be me there. I don’t want you to have to go through that again.”

You moved and pulled a chair up next to him so you could look at him directly, “I really think I should be there with you. At least for support, Harry. I’m an adult. I can handle it. I don’t want you having to do it alone.”

He shook his head and took your hands in his, “Y/n, it’s going to go a whole lot better if you’re not there. She’s not going to want to see you. That’ll just make her angrier. I’m asking you to please stay here while I sort out everything with her.”

Harry had told you right at the beginning that he was going but you insisted you wanted to be there too. To face his wife and be his support.

“Harry…” you said his name in a plea.

He dipped in and kissed you, “I love you so much. But I need to do this part by myself. Okay? I love that you want to help and be there with me and you don’t know how much that means to me. But this is different. I can’t bring you with me for this. You can be my comfort and support when I get back afterward.”

You figured you didn’t have much of a choice. But you hated to have Harry go it alone. If you thought dealing with Fae was devastating, you couldn’t imagine the scene with her mother. The woman whose heart he broke. Who he cheated on.

Harry held you close that night as you softly caressed his chest and kissed his shoulders and pecs. Sleep didn’t really find either of you for long enough to feel like you’d rested. You had bursts of shut-eye but then were woken up with a panicky feeling. And it was the same for Harry. But being together and feeling the warmth of one another felt a lot better than waking up alone.

And you both were wide awake at 5 am, cuddled together under your blankets, limbs tangled.

“Are you awake?” You whispered as softly as possible. You assumed he was because of his breathing pattern and the way he shifted every now and then.

“I am. Are you okay, baby?” He scooted in closer and pulled you into his chest so you were practically laying on him.

You couldn’t see his face in the dark but you smiled at how he always seemed to need you close.

“I’m okay. I’m here with you so I’m okay.” You laid your head against his chest and he cradled the back of your head. You could feel the slow rhythm of his heart.

“Want some coffee? Thinking of getting up to make some. Not sure I can sleep. Have to be up in an hour anyway.”

Coffee at 5:15 am was not your thing but for Harry, you’d do it. And it was also going to be impossible for you to sleep as well. You were full of nerves and wondering what was next.

You had to work that afternoon, unfortunately. You wanted to call off but you were worried about losing your job. You took Saturday off when you were scheduled to work and doing it again on Monday would be risking too much.

“So what? If you lose your job you can look for something else. Maybe there’s a good job in advertising or marketing or something. Use your degree, Y/n. I can take care of you until you find something.”

You shook your head, “You don’t think I’ve been looking? For a year I’ve been putting in resumes and the only few spots that would even consider me without any experience wouldn’t pay as well as the tips I make at the restaurant. It’s hard to transition from making really good tips to a salaried job that pays less where I might work more hours.”

“I know you’ve been looking, baby. I’m not saying you haven’t. I’m just saying I’ll take care of you until you find something perfect.”

“I don’t want to have you taking care of me, though. That’s not fair. We’ve already been through a lot. And just imagine what everyone would think… If I quit my job after everyone finds out we’ve been having an affair and you pay all my bills... I’ll not only be a homewrecker I’ll be a gold digger or something. One awful scorn on me is quite enough,” you chuckled. But it wasn’t actually funny. You tried to find humor in the situation but the reality of it was awful.

“We can’t help what people will think of us but we’ll talk about all this later. I don’t want you to worry. Okay?”

“You think you’ll be back before I need to leave for work?” You ran your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. It was getting long and his curls were just begging to be touched.

Harry nodded, “I think so. I hope so. If not, I’ll be here waiting for you when you get off. I’ve got some stuff to do at the office today as well but shouldn’t take long. And I’ve got your key,” he grinned at you.

Harry left after giving you a smoldering kiss. You two hadn’t been intimate since the morning before when you left Quebec and when he grabbed you and spun you around to kiss you goodbye you pulled him in by his collar to keep his mouth against yours, then he had his arms around your back and you both had to force yourselves apart so he could go.

And on any normal day, you’d climb back into bed to sleep for a few more hours. But you knew you couldn’t sleep. So, you had to find something to keep you occupied while Harry told his wife everything.

.           .           .

When Harry pulled into the driveway his wife’s car was there already. He took a few deep breaths. He knew it was not going to be pretty.

The house smelled of coffee when he opened the door. It almost felt comforting. Familiar. Except that the circumstances were anything but.

He called to his wife as he sat his briefcase down on the couch and moved into the kitchen where he found her on her cell phone speaking to someone. She glanced at him and turned her back.

Harry noticed right away that she looked sad. Her face was puffy and her skin looked sallow.

The pot of coffee was full but he couldn’t even think of putting anything else into his stomach at that moment. The acid in the coffee was already making him feel a bit unwell. Not just the acid. But he felt unwell for what was about to come.

He sat at the kitchen table and silently inhaled again.

“Well, he’s here now, so I’ll let you go. I’ll call you later, okay?” He heard only the last part of her conversation as she hung up and kept her back to him. He watched her look out the window over the sink into their backyard in silence.

“I think you should start, Harry. Start with how long you’ve been seeing her. How it happened,” she turned to look at him but stayed near the counter.

He nodded and looked down at his hands, “6 months, give or take.” He looked up at her and her fierce gaze could have sliced him in half.

She waved her hand, “Go on. Let’s get it out.”

He swallowed, “I don’t know why I did it. I was happy. Really, I was. I… she and I got close and then I went to her place and that’s how it started.”

“So you instigated?”

Nodding his head he looked at his wife, “I did. I knew she had a crush on me and I fed into it.”

She nodded and walked toward him to sit at the table across from him.

“And it wasn’t supposed to go that far. But I’ve found myself falling for her.”

The laugh from his wife was unexpected. Harry watched as she shook her head in disbelief, “You’ve fallen for her? Y/n? Who is the same age as your daughter? Oh, I bet that’s an interesting dynamic. Does she know you fucked me while you were fucking her?”

He clenched his jaw and felt like he’d throw up, “We didn’t really talk about that much at the beginning. I’m sure she knows.”

“Caressa told me she saw you drop her off. Y/n, the stupid thing, told her you were her boyfriend.”

“Hey. Stop. Don’t do that. Don’t call her stupid. She’s no–“

“What? You don’t like it when women are being a little immature? You are dating a woman half your age for Christ’s sake. Seems like something you’d be into.”

Harry folded his lips into his mouth to keep himself quiet. He’d have to deal with her being a little petty. She had every right to lash out.

“Anyway, I was quite shocked to learn of it. And at first, we thought there was no way. Caressa might have seen someone else that looked like you with a car like yours. But then… too many coincidences, you know? Plus I’d already suspected you were cheating.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Why? Why would you do this to us? Was it that bad?”

Harry shook his head and reached for his wife’s hand but she pulled away before he could touch her, “No. Of course not. You’ve been incredible. I got selfish and fucked up. And then I got in too deep.” He moved his hand back into his lap.

She nodded, “You did fuck up. That’s true. How many other women have you cheated on me with?”

Harry was taken aback, “None! Oh my god, no. I never… this is the only time.”

“I see. And of all people, it had to be her? Fae’s best friend, Harry?”

“I know. It’s so messy.”

“Have you had a thing for her since she was a teenager?”

He shook his head, “No. Fae’s 22nd birthday was the first time I really found her attractive.”

She looked to the corner of the room as she sipped her coffee and then pinned her eyes back on Harry, “So for 2 1/2, nearly 3 years you’ve been lusting after Fae’s best friend?”

“No. I found her attractive… but never…” he took a breath, “No it was only recent.”

That was a lie. He had actually been lusting after you for that length of time. Of course, the feelings grew as you got closer and spent time together alone. When you would visit him and you’d chat and have lengthy hugs in private… even though the actual affair had only been for 6 months, you both had been dancing around your feelings for much longer. But he didn’t want his wife to know that. Didn’t feel that was necessary information.

“My terms for the divorce are simple. I’ll keep the house but you’ll pay the mortgage and insurance, and repairs that might come up. Once the house is paid off it’ll be in my name and I’ll be able to sell it or keep it, my choice. I’ll keep my car, which you’ll also pay the insurance for, and I’ll be asking for 50% of your salary as alimony. I also expect 50% of any of your bonuses. You’ll pay for my health insurance and cover anything I need above the copay. Dental too,” she took another sip of her coffee as she kept her eyes on Harry, “You’ll cover my cellphone, internet… basically all of my bills like you do currently. I am not going to suffer and live a more difficult lifestyle because you and Y/n want to fuck around and play pretend. Understood?”

Harry nodded. He knew he’d be giving a lot to his wife.

“Our shared brokerage, savings, and retirement will be 100% mine–“

Harry put his hand up, “Now, wait. Hold on. I can give you most of it but not all. Come on. Be reasonable.”

She shook her head, “The moment you stuck your prick in someone else was the moment I lost my ability to be reasonable with you. It’s mine. And I guarantee that the judge will agree once we get to the nitty-gritty. I’ve looked into it. You’ve cheated on me and I’ve been a supportive wife who also contributed to our savings and retirement during all the years I worked.”

His brokerage account was worth millions. And while his wife had contributed to savings and retirement years ago when she was still working, all the money and earnings from the brokerage were his own. He put that money there, not her.

“I don’t think that’s fair. You didn’t put a dime into the brokerage account. I’ll give you all of our savings, half the retirement, and half of the brokerage. That’s more than enough for you for the rest of your life. Not to mention half my salary and bonuses, the house…”

“I don’t care what’s fair. And yeah, I could live a very comfortable life on half the brokerage and retirement alone but I don’t want you to live a comfortable life, see? I’m not here to make things comfortable for anyone but me and my daughter. You and Y/n can go to hell.”

Harry bit his tongue and looked down at the table. He would need to get a lawyer. 50% of everything plus extras was fine. But all of the brokerage and retirement?

“Well, we’ll figure out terms with lawyers present,” he looked at her as he spoke. It was the first time he’d felt so angry with her ever. And even if she was justified, it still felt unfair.

She laughed, “Yes, we will. In fact, I’m meeting with mine this afternoon to get all the paperwork ready for you to sign. Divorce papers are in the works. And since I’m the one filing first I get dibs. You’ll see.”

Harry stood up from the table and paced the kitchen slowly. He knew this would kill him financially but he somehow just didn’t expect she’d want all of his brokerage. That was his nest egg he’d been adding to since before he ever met his wife. It was his. He’d fight for that one.

“What time this afternoon?” He looked at her.

“2 pm. You aren’t invited. You’ll be all caught up with everything once we get the paperwork drafted. My lawyer will send everything to yours. Oh, which, by the way, you should send me your lawyer’s contact info.”

He didn’t have a lawyer at that moment, which in hindsight was dumb of him. He should have been more prepared for all of this. A lawyer was just more money down the drain. He’d be paying his own plus hers, he was sure of it.

“Fuck,” he spoke under his breath and ran his hands over his face.

Harry packed his things into his car and gathered items he planned to take with him. Of course, his wife watched everything he took and told him what he could and couldn’t take.

“But this was a gift from Fae. Let me at least have this,” he pleaded. It was a framed photo of Fae and Harry. The frame was homemade from Fae for Father’s Day when she was 11. He kept it in his office for all the years he had it.

“Fae doesn’t want you to have that. Leave it here.”

“You didn’t even know it was there. You probably forgot that it even existed. Come on, don’t do this.”

She didn’t budge.

Harry had expected the conversation with his wife to be much different. He thought there would be a lot of tears and apologies and that she would scream at him and throw a fit but she was calm and prepared. She was cold and uncaring, though she did throw an insult or two. He could tell she was upset and that she had been crying before he arrived but she did not act the way he thought she would.

It all took much longer than he hoped. You had already been at work by the time he dropped his things off at your apartment. His apartment now too. He told you he’d be paying his part and wanted to get on the lease. But he planned on paying the rent in full. He didn’t want to be a burden to you.

And before he went by his office at work he stopped at the restaurant to see you. He knew it might be a bad idea but he needed to see you. Just to look at you and tell you he loved you and make sure you were okay. He felt bad that he hadn’t come back before you’d left.

Caressa saw him first as he walked in and the hostess greeted him.

“Oh, Harry. How nice to see you,” she crossed her arms as she walked up to him, “I’m guessing you’re here to see your girlfriend?”

“Hi, Caressa. Uh, just here to see Y/n. I wanted to tell her something really quick. I won’t keep her long.” He felt himself flush in embarrassment. He wasn’t particularly close to Caressa but he’d known her for years. She and her husband were part of his friend group. Were. He was certain they wouldn’t be interested in hanging out with him again.

“Sure. She’s busy right now but have a seat. I’ll let her know you’re here.”

He waited for fifteen minutes before getting up and peeking into the dining room. He half doubted that Caressa told you he was there. She probably wanted to make a point or something.

When he spotted you walking away from a table he stepped in and called your name quietly.

You turned and your eyes widened in surprise but you smiled and mouthed “I’ll be right back.”

You hadn’t expected to see him show up at your work but the relief that washed over you was immense. You were so worried about Harry and wondered how the talk had gone with Fae’s mother. Hoped nothing had changed between you and him.

You quickly made your way to the front where Harry was and grabbed his hand into yours, “How did it go?”

He sighed and you could see it hadn’t been a good conversation just by his expression, “I’ll tell you later. But, she knows. Everyone knows now. She’s getting divorce paperwork ready,” he squeezed your hand, “I just wanted to see your face. Needed to see you.”

You smiled and quickly kissed his lips, “I’m glad you came in. I was really worried.”

“You don’t need to worry, baby. Ever. Okay? I love you. I just… couldn’t breathe until I saw you.”

That was all you needed. His reassurance. The rest of your shift felt lighter. You were still burdened by the reality and the heaviness of everything but at least he came to see you. At least he needed it as much as you did.

When you got home later Harry was there. He was only wearing his grey sweatpants and he was in the kitchen cooking something.

You placed your purse on the kitchen table and he turned around and sat the wooden spoon on the counter before he met you in the middle of the kitchen to bring you in for a hug.

He said nothing. He just held you for a moment and it felt regenerative to be in his arms. You melted a tiny bit into him and suddenly, without even meaning for it to happen you began to cry.

“Oh, honey…” he whispered as he pulled you into your living room to your couch. You sat down with him and he kept his arms around you.

You couldn’t stop the tears. You couldn’t really think much about your situation while you were at work or you’d have cried in front of your customers. And you definitely didn’t want Caressa to see you in tears. She knew too much already.

“Sorry,” you squeaked out your words against Harry’s chest. You loved that he wasn’t wearing a shirt and that your cheek was smushed into his skin.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay to cry. I’m here.”

Harry kissed the top of your head and spoke quietly, “Everything’s going to be okay.”

When you’d finally caught your breath and looked up at him, he smiled softly at your face with tear-stained cheeks, “Thank you for stopping in at work today. That made everything feel so much better.”

Harry took in your red puffy eyes and the way your lip quivered the slightest and sighed as he wiped your tears, “I needed to see you. I’m glad it made you feel better. How was your shift?”

You told him about work and how Caressa hardly spoke to you. Then you discovered that when Harry arrived she hadn’t told you that he was there when he asked her to, “Guess I’m not surprised. She probably hates us both. And what are you making? Smells really good.”

“Just veggie soup and I’ve got some biscuits cooling. Stove’s off so it can sit a bit. It’ll be fine.”

You looked around your living room and it was the first time you noticed the new big-screen TV that had replaced yours, as well as a plant in the corner that hadn’t been there, “So now we live together, huh?” You smiled finally, to Harry’s relief.

“If you still want me here then yes.”

You laughed and leaned back into him, hugging his middle, “Of course I want you here. Need you here.”

Harry put his arms around you, “S’what I wanted to hear. Need to be with you. No matter what that looks like.”

You looked up at him and his curls that were starting to get long and the bit of scruff on his face with his bright eyes and pink lips and you felt like you were lucky to have him. It wasn’t going to be easy to not have Fae in your life. And you would have to deal with the judgment that was to come, but at least you had him. At least you had each other.

“What?” Harry asked as your eyes wandered over his features.

“I just feel grateful that you’re here with me.”

Harry tilted his head to the side as he rubbed your arms up and down, his eyes on yours, “I’m grateful you want me here, Y/n.”

As shitty as everything was and the awful reality that was caging you in and carving the words homewrecker onto your forehead, you felt it in your heart that he was the love of your life. No one else could ever understand it. But Harry did. And you did. And that was all that mattered in that moment.

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[ponderingmoonlight]

How JJK men act when you have insomnia (can't sleep)

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader; Toge x fem!reader; Megumi x fem!reader (special thanks to @belovedvamp for that jaw-dropping gorgeous Megumi requests, like wow)

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: nightmares, angst to comfort in everyone, I would like to point out that Megumi is my favorite part and that I'm thinking about doing a Part 2, so if you're invested definetely let me know 😭not 100% proofread yet

Gojo Satoru

„Huh, why are you still awake babe? Aren’t you tired?”

Satoru takes in your gorgeous sight, how you lay curled up in your shared bed with your sleepy eyes darted towards him. God, why do you have to be so stunning, why does the selfish urge to keep you awake a little longer become almost unbearable for him when he knows exactly why you’re unable to sleep?

The mattress gives in under your boyfriend’s weight next to you, his hand gently caressing your head. You feel drunk, as if your body doesn’t function properly anymore. No wonder, after all you were awake for more than 30 hours by now, fighting and fighting to finally exorcise a bunch of special grade curses while Satoru was busy somewhere else.

But you’re scared to close your eyes again, to get confronted with the horrible things you’ve saw today. After each and every mission, your brain haunts you with awful nightmares, reminds you of all the death, all the injured, all the things you’ve lost.

No, you just can’t take it. You’d rather stay up a little longer in desperate hopes to be spared than risking to have another bad dream.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it”, you mumble into your heavy blanket, eyes drifting to the window.

It began to rain, heavy droplets pounding against the glass violently, thunder erupting in the dark sky. Carefully, Satoru lays down beside you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist.

“I know you’re lying”, he mutters against your sensitive neck.

“Is it because of your nightmares?”

You turn around to face him in utter surprise. When did you ever told him about those nightmares? You always kept them to yourself, suffered through them on your own. After all, Satoru is a very busy man who shouldn’t have to worry about something like a bad dream. Yes, it seems pretty ridiculous to whine about your nightmares when the strongest of them all is the one you’re talking to.

“Don’t worry about that, I’m fine”, you lie into his face, gifting him a small smile to convince him.

But your eyes don’t lie. They show nothing but terror and dread, nothing but fatigue and alertness at the same time. Suddenly Satoru’s heart feels heavy. He should have realized it sooner, the way you always go to sleep after him when you were out on a mission. Why did it never cross his mind that all of this might be too much for you? Maybe because you’re so damn strong, maybe because you make it look so damn easy every time, carrying the weight of all those missions so that his students don’t suffer.

“It makes no sense to lie to me. Why didn’t you tell me about it, babe? I’m sure Shoko might be able to help you-“

“There’s nothing anyone could do about this”, you interrupt him immediately.

“Trust me, I tried everything out there. I guess this is just how my brain tries to cope with all those things, the people dying and stuff…”

“But you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re a team, remember? Why don’t you wake me up whenever you feel upset? Why do you go to sleep after I’m already passed out? (y/n), don’t do this to yourself.”

Gently, he cups your cheek with his hand, forcing you to look up at him. Oh, how much you hate that familiar feeling. That feeling of being useless, of being weak. Are you really too frail to even sleep after a mission? Why aren’t you able to handle the things you see like the others, like Kento and Satoru? All that training, all that power just to cry in your sleep over the things that happened hours ago.

Truly pathetic.

“Do you really think you’re alone? Especially in the beginning, Kento was plagued by nightmares each and every night so much that he couldn’t even fall asleep. Suguru and I…it is always rough, remembering the faces of those you weren’t able to save. But don’t let them keep you awake, don’t think you have to simply endure this. I’m here each and every night to hold you, okay? I’m here, you’re not alone (y/n).”

Oh Satoru.

Without thinking twice, you turn around and intertwine your body with his, desperately trying to keep your composure. How do you even deserve a man like him? A man who seems goofy most of the time but hast the softest side, a man who cares more about everyone around him than himself.

Your boyfriend, the strongest with a heart of pure gold.

“I hate when they haunt me in my sleep”, you finally give in, hiding your face against his warm chest.

“I know, babe. Trust me, we all do.”

Ever so gently, he strokes your hair and back, embraces you in his very own warmth. Satoru feels like home, like the perfection you are chasing each and every day. What would you even do without his loving arms as your home? Where would you be without his constant support? All those nights he stood by your side, watched a awful romantic movie so you’d feel good again. The countless times he cooked your favourite meal for you, only to throw it away and order food afterwards. All those times he rushed to your side when you got injured, how he always manages to be right by your side when you wake up. And oh, how tender is touch feels against your skin, how his warmth embraces you with every inch of his body. He feels so good, so comforting…

Satoru watches with a small smile as your lids grow heavy and finally close, your breath leaving your mouth evenly.

“As long as I’m the one holding you, no nightmare in the world will dare to wake you up, babe”, he breathes against your ear, holding you tightly in his arms throughout the whole night.

Inumaki Toge

You stare at the full moon blankly, mind racing. How are you supposed to get out of this alive? Are you even strong enough to lead your very own mission without someone by your side? This will be the first time you’ll be completely on your own. Without Maki, without Panda, without Toge…You trained hard these last months, you know what you’re capable of. But still…

Is it enough?

“Kelp.”

His tender voice rips you out of your poisonous thoughts immediately, glossy eyes shooting up to take in his sight. Why does he have to look so delicate with the moonlight highlighting his features? Why does his mouth have to be so damn captivating?

Why is it so easy to fall hopelessly in love with Toge Inumaki?

“Sorry, I thought y’all were asleep”, you explain visibly uncomfortably.

How embarrassing, getting caught by your crush while silently crying into the night about a damn mission. A silent yawning escapes your lips before you can stop it, tired eyes covered by a curtain of tears. God, you are so tired.

“Salmon roe.”

Before you even comprehend what’s happening, the white-haired boy takes his hand into yours gently, staring at you so intensely that you forget how to breathe for a moment. It’s like he wants to tell you that everything will be alright, that you have nothing to worry about.

“I don’t think I can do this alone, Toge. I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this…”, you finally give in.

“Bonito flakes”, he immediately replies.

Without thinking twice, he takes out a small notepad and begins to write frantically. You know he always carries a writing block with him for time that require more than a few words, more than gestures are able to say.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, you worked hard these last weeks. And you’re great! Just do as good as you always do, I’m counting on you, (y/n)! Please try to get some sleep now :)”

With every word you read your heart beats a little faster, with every word your grin grows a little wider. If he only knew how much his words truly mean to you…

“So you really think I can do it on my own?”, you question.

“Salmon!”

“Thank you, Toge”, you mutter touched.

You don’t know why, but suddenly your eyes start to burn in tears. Toge holds nothing but affection in his gaze, hand still resting on yours while squeezing it ever so slightly. He truly believes in you and your abilities, shows no doubt in your save return. Maybe…maybe you’re actually able to do this. Maybe you are indeed ready for your first solo mission.

Toge stands up again, signalling you with a gentle squeeze to stand up as well. You follow him through the dark hallways of Jujutsu High, right into the dorm you know so well.

“Tuna”, he whispers into the night before pressing you against his warm chest.

You feel as light as a feather, too stunned to speak by the way his arms feel wrapped around your body. He smells intoxicating, so good that you can’t help but sniff in and out. Is this really the first time Toge Inumaki hugged you for more than 10 seconds? It definitely is hard to let him go again.

“I believe in you, (y/n).”

Did he…Did he just speak?

“Toge…”, you breathe out, watching as his smile grows even wider.

With a last wave, he is gone in the darkness of the night, leaving you standing in the middle of your room on your own with your feelings scattered all over the place. Toge Inumaki just hugged you. No, Toge INumaki just spoke. He told you that he believes in you.

“How am I supposed to sleep now?”, you mumble to yourself.

Fushiguro Megumi

Your eyes snap open in an instant, ice cold sweat running down your face. Where are you? Is it over? You…

You breathe out. It was a nightmare. Again.

“Fuck”, you hiss to yourself while rubbing your aching head.

Why do you have to get haunted by these horrible nightmares, when will it finally stop? Even Gojo-sensei seems to be clueless about your condition, about what keeps you up each and every night.

But you know something that will help you to get through this night. Or rather someone.

Your bare feet stick to the wooden floor ever so slightly while you wander through the dark hallways on your way to his doorstep. Is he even awake? Maybe he won’t open the door at all.

Little do you know that Megumi sits in his bed with his eyes wide open, staring at the door knob in sheer excitement for your return into his arms. He knows it doesn’t mean much to you and at the beginning, it didn’t mean anything to him either. You just came into his room from time to time, searching for comfort in his hug to chase your nightmares away. And since you were friends, Megumi had nothing against stroking your head gently and wrapping his arms around you.

But something seems different now. Something about the sensation of you visiting him late at night sends shivers down his spine, your moonlit features let his heart hammer against his ribcage. It’s like he wants to hold you even closer, wants your breath to brush against his face. Why does it dawn to him how delicate your curves look and how soft your hair feels? There is no use in denying it, no sense in fighting against the obvious.

Megumi Fushiguro has fallen hopelessly in love with you.

The knocks against his wooden floor send him to his door straight away, opening it before you’re able to think twice.

“Oh, I didn’t knew you were still awake, Fushiguro”, you mutter into the darkness.

God, how much he hates the fact that you always call him by his last name. What would he give to hear his name out of your mouth once?

“What do you want here, (y/n)?”

His voice sounds harsher than anticipated while it takes all his strength to not swallow you in his arms immediately.

“I had a bad dream again…”

The vulnerable tone of your voice kills him from the inside. Without saying another word, he steps aside, allows you to enter his dorm without hesitation. You position yourself on the left side of his bed like you always do, hiding yourself in his already warm sheets. Without hesitation, he crawls back into his bed, inviting you into his arms with a long breath.

You smell as good as you always do. Why did it take him so long to realize that you smell absolutely intoxicating, that the mixture of your shampoo, body scent and perfume is addictive? Maybe he should tell you about the way he feels, finally confess how you make his heart beat out of his chest. But how would you react?

Would you…reject him? For all these years of knowing each other, you were never more than friends. Good buddies, pals, but not more than that. None of you ever crossed the line of plain cuddling each other to sleep. Not once did your lips brush over his, not once did your hands move further than his chest. Would you even love him back?

“Come on, you have to have a crush (y/n)! Is it Chris Pine, Tom Holland? Are you more into Korean guys?”, Nobara inquired over and over.

You just rolled your eyes with a playful grin, almost making Megumi fall out of his chair next to Yuji.

“I don’t have a crush on anyone. I’m perfectly fine by myself”, you insisted.

“I like tall woman with a big ass”, Yuji interrupted out of nowhere, gaining a punch in his face by Nobara.

That was it, the first time he noticed something strange. The way his heart suddenly grew heavier than metal, sunk into his chest, took his breath away. He was hurt by your words. Megumi Fushiguro was hurt by the stinging fact that you didn’t say his name like he secretly hoped for, that your eyes didn’t even flinch towards him for the split of a second.

“Hey, are you alright? Why did you tense up like that?”, you mutter against his chest while drawing circles onto his t-shirt with your delicate fingertip.

“Oh, it’s nothing for you to worry about”, he lies into this tender night.

He presses you against his own body a little tighter, watches how your eyes grow heavy with every passing minute that you listen to his steady heartbeat. This shouldn’t mean more to him than comforting an old friend, it shouldn’t make his heart flutter and palms sweaty. But the soft snores leaving your mouth sound oh so lovely, the way your eyes move behind closed lids makes his heart skip a beat. You have to be the most precious creature on this earth, so valuable that he never wants to let you go again.

Until he has in the morning. Until you return back into his arms when nightmares keep you up another night.

Thank you so much for reading! Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul@chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly   @froufrousnowman @tomiokathedepresso  @gojosrealwife  @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain  @risuola  @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @aeliusbbg

[lizardaggro]

on the flip side (twst bully!au) part 4

sorry this didn't get out sooner; my sleep issues are really upset (might be daylight savings?) and i spent most of the past few days feeling like a zombie. i'm better now though! it's also a bit shorter than i'd like, but i didn't want to leave you guys hanging. also two fics? in one day?? crazy!

part 1 part 2 part 3 genre: gn reader, angst trigger warnings: bullying, yandere has officially escalated word count: 897

“Child of man,” Malleus said. Even his voice felt suffocating. “Lilia has informed me that some… pests have been bothering you as of late.” He must mean the others. Did he really not know? Well, you supposed it wasn’t too farfetched, since he didn’t have any friends and everyone was afraid of him, especially after his Overblot. “You need only have let me know and I would have… taken care of them. But worry not. You’ll be safe here, where no one would dare to harm you.”

Oh no. Oh no no no. It was finally happening. Malleus had lost his mind. It felt a little nice, you’d admit, knowing that at least one person still cared for you. But that didn’t mean you could accept being trapped here for who knows how long. You still had to take care of Grim and attend classes. Not to mention you hated feeling trapped.

You knew you couldn’t count on anyone to save you. Lilia was the only one who might be able to make him see reason, but he seemed to be fully complicit in the matter. The dorm leaders might be somewhat capable if they worked together, but they’d have no motive for that, other than to torment you further.

Getting angry and yelling wouldn’t solve anything here. You had to be smart about it. “Tsunotarou, I can’t stay here. You know that,” you reasoned. “I have responsibilities to take care of. Besides, wouldn’t you grow tired of me? Everyone else did, after all.” You surprised yourself with how true your sentiments were. Maybe you harbored more negative feelings about all of this than you’d realized.

Naturally you were pissed that everyone turned on you, but you’d never really stopped to think about how lonely you’d been. Even your professors would hardly give you the time of day. You didn’t even know what you possibly could’ve done to set them off. Grim and the ghosts were the only ones whose attitudes never changed; but it wasn’t the same.

Malleus was pouting; there was simply no other way to describe the look on his face. “Surely you don’t mean that; not after everything they’ve done,” he quipped. Was he serious? In what way did he think you’d enjoy being trapped inside one tiny room for who knows how long?

“Yes. I do. And I don’t appreciate you taking away my freedom like this. If you really cared about me, you’d respect my wishes.” You hoped appealing to his emotions would work, no, you needed it to work. If it didn’t, you weren’t sure how long your sanity would last.

“I do care about you, Child of Man,” he objected. “Can’t you see that’s why I’m doing this? It isn’t safe out there. You’ll get hurt by those vile beings you once called friends.” He spat out that last word, like they were undeserving of the title. You didn’t know how to feel about that.

There was one thing you did know, however: this man was delusional. He’d gone paranoid with worries for your safety, even though he knew nothing just hours ago and was fine. He’d always been a little possessive, you’d noticed, but you’d brushed it off as him being afraid of losing his one and only friend. Now this? This was a whole new level.

Ah, but then you remembered. Malleus knew about most of the bullying, but not all of it. You doubted Lilia would’ve tattled on his own dorm members. You smiled, catching him off guard. “But am I any safer in here? I bet you don’t know, after all. You don’t know how Sebek would beat me in the halls, how Silver watches me everywhere I go. It’s creepy; I don’t like it. And I’m sure Lilia didn’t tell you how he tries to poison me with his cooking,” you listed calmly, as if you were having an ordinary conversation.

“They WHAT?!” Malleus shouted. “LILIA! SILVER! SEBEK! GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!” You flinched; he was usually so calm, you didn’t expect him to suddenly yell like that. It was good that he believed you, not that you were lying. You didn’t have a backup plan.

As the unfortunate trio entered the room, you made your way over to the door. You thought you’d managed to slip out unnoticed, but Lilia shot you a wink. Did that mean he’d keep his mouth shut about your escape? You could only hope.

You ran through the halls, Malleus’s shouting covering up the sounds of your footfalls. You knew this place like the back of your hand, so you weren’t at risk of getting lost. The only question was how long the lecture would last. If you were lucky, Lilia would buy you some time, but you wouldn’t count on it.

And then, at last, you were safe, on the other side of the portal. You were totally winded, after having had the run of your life. Everything seemed great, but then you heard a voice.

“Oya? What do we have here? What were you doing in Diasomnia, prefect?” Jade asked with a definitely fake smile like he didn’t know exactly what you were doing in Diasomnia. Oh, great. Azul was with him too. How… lovely. Staying with Malleus was starting to sound like it wasn’t so bad after all. No, nevermind. It was definitely worse.

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[gunnerfc]

Did it Hurt? (When You Fell From Heaven) | Hayley Raso x Matildas!Reader

Summary: Your girlfriend spends the entire day telling you terrible pickup lines after you jokingly said she was bad at flirting.

Warnings: bad pickup lines from google! 🥴

WC: 1.6K

AN: currently down bad for her (shoutout to all the tiktok edits I’ve watched 😩), so more fics for her are coming soon I fear 🥴😩

Waking up this morning, you were thankful you weren’t allowed to room with Hayley during camp. You had decided to tease your girlfriend about her ‘bad flirting’ last night during a small team bonding session. The mandatory curfew had saved you last night and you didn’t have to be questioned by the Real Madrid player. 

That is until you were up and ready to head to the team breakfast. Hayley had been waiting for you, still in disbelief that you said she was bad at flirting. When you opened your hotel room, you were greeted by your girlfriend impatiently tapping her foot with her arms crossed.

“Good morning, babe,” you sang as you exited your room, hoping you could get Hayley to focus on anything other than your previous comments.

“Yeah, yeah good morning. What do you mean I “can’t flirt”? Hayley questioned as you walked side by side towards the banquet room at the end of the floor that the team was staying on. 

“Umm..” you started, your voice higher than normal as you felt the glare from the winger. “I was just joking, baby. Don’t worry about it,” you laughed nervously right as you reached the opened doors. You could hear most of your teammates already eating and you hoped that maybe Ellie or Teagan would call Hayley over to their table and you wouldn’t have to explain further.

Ellie was your saving grace, shouting Hayley’s name the moment she spotted the shorter of the pair. You let a sigh of relief escape your lips as you fixed your plate and found a seat with your three Arsenal teammates.

“Rass still upset about your little comment,” Caitlin teased when you sat down. You sent the forward a glare, not bothering to respond as you started eating.

“What little comment,” Steph asked from her spot next to you. She had opted out of the bonding session last night in favor of calling Dean back in England. 

“Y/n/n said Hayley was bad at flirting,” Kyra said with a mouth full of food. Her actions earned an eye roll from you and Steph and a laugh from Caitlin.

“Why’d you say that,” the older of your tablemates questioned, having zero context to the conversation that took place without her.

“I was joking… for the most part. I don’t think she’s bad at flirting now, I just think her pickup lines were a bit cheesy when we first started dating,” you answered before continuing. “She’s way better now, but no one let me finish my sentence last night before they started making jokes.”

Caitlin and Kyra took it upon themselves to repeat some of the jokes they made last night, giggling even more each time they said something. You shook your head at their words, knowing you would have to make it up to your girlfriend sooner rather than later.

While you were recounting the events from last night to Steph, Ellie was still teasing Hayley at their table. “I need to know what some of the things you say are,” the blonde laughed, ignoring the glare your girlfriend sent her way.

“I don’t know what Y/n considers “bad at flirting” so I don't know what to tell you,” the winger groaned, trying to rack her brain for what she could have said that made you think that.

“Well, why don’t you just make your flirting extra bad, that way Y/n can see that whatever you were saying before isn’t actually terrible,” the defender offered even though she changed your wording. 

Hayley didn't respond but was considering what Ellie was saying. If you thought she was bad at flirting, then she’ll show you bad flirting. You split after breakfast, everyone heading back to their rooms to get their things for training. You didn’t see Hayley again until she got on the bus and took her usual seat next to you. 

“Did it hurt?” your girlfriend's voice pulled you from your thoughts as she sat down. You sent her a confused look, having no idea what she could be talking about. “When you fell from heaven,” she continued, a teasing grin and a raised eyebrow gracing her features.

You took a deep sigh knowing you had started something you were going to regret. You just shook your head at Hayley’s words, not knowing how to respond. She didn’t say anything else for the rest of the bus trip to the field and you thought she had just made a one-off comment.

You were proven wrong as you sat in one of the cubbies in the locker room with Hayley to your left. As you were trying one of your boots, you felt Hayley lean closer until she was almost level with your ear. “Y’know even if there was no gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you,” the winger whispered in your ear, a bright smile on her face as she held back a laugh at your shocked face.

“My god, rass..” you groaned quietly, knowing she was saying the worst pickup lines she knew to drive you crazy.

Hayley is normally extremely focused on training, always wanting to do her best even if it wasn’t a game. Except today, she was on a mission to annoy you and so far, she was succeeding. Though you weren’t entirely annoyed, you found her cheesy pickup lines cute.

Tony had started training with some stretching and a few light jogs around the pitch to get everyone ready. During each activity you were told to do, Hayley was right beside you with something cheesy to say. Her bright, teasing smile never left her face.

You found a moment of hope that you wouldn’t have to hear anymore when Tony split everyone into small groups to play a few scrimmage matches. You weren’t in the same group as Hayley which for a moment meant no new cringe pickup line being sent your way. Until your two groups were facing each other and your side got a corner. 

As you stood inside the box waiting for Steph to send the ball your way, you felt your girlfriend move to defend you. With your focus solely on the ball, Hayley took the opportunity to distract you. “I hope you know CPR because you’re taking my breath away,” the winger mumbled so only you could hear her just as Steph sent the ball into the box.

It was a perfect ball for you to head into the back of the net if you hadn’t been shocked by your girlfriend’s words. Hayley laughed as the ball was cleared by her side and patted your side as she ran past you. You shook your head to refocus and took off towards the other goal in defense. 

Training ended soon after and you couldn’t have been more grateful. You were mentally preparing yourself for more lines the entire time you changed before heading back to the bus but they never came. You thought that Hayley might have decided she had said enough cheesy things to you to last awhile but you were once again mistaken when the winger took her seat next to you.

“Aren’t you tired, baby?” Hayley’s voice was laced with what seemed like genuine concern as she sat down. 

You went to answer that you were feeling fine but she beat you to it. “You’ve been running through my head all day,” the teasing smile made its reappearance. You groaned with an eye roll at her words, knowing she wasn’t going to give up that easy.

The ride back to the hotel was spent with numerous teasing lines from your girlfriend that didn’t stop until you were back inside your separate rooms. You were rooming with Charli at this camp and she graciously offered you the shower first. You quickly took a shower so Charli could also have time to take one before team dinner. 

You offered to wait for the blonde but she knew you and Hayley were inseparable and would be walking to dinner together and she didn’t want to hold you up. Just like this morning, Hayley was waiting outside your door though this time in comfortable clothes and with wet hair. You didn’t comment on the fact that she was wearing your Arsenal hoodie. 

“Your hand looks lonely, baby. Can I hold it for you,” she giggled while holding her hand out for you to take. All you could do was laugh softly as you intertwined your hand with hers.

“Y’know… you never let me finish what I was saying last night,” you stated with a raised eyebrow as you two walked hand-in-hand down the hall.

Hayley didn’t respond verbally, but you saw the questioning look on her face. “I was saying that you were bad at flirting in the beginning, when you were too nervous to speak to me, and instead made up cheesy pickup lines. But now, you’re better because you aren’t nervous anymore,” you explained, pulling her to a stop in front of the doors.

The look on Hayley’s would have made you laugh normally but you found it adorable in the moment. Her eyes closed as her cheeks had a dark tint of red coat them. With your hands still intertwined, you pulled her smaller frame into yours, giving her a quick kiss on her lips.

“But even if you were absolutely terrible at flirting, I wouldn’t care. I’d still love you the same,” you whispered against her lips when you pulled away. 

“I would’ve made up for it in other ways,” Hayley winked as she backed up, her words meaning something way more inappropriate than anything she’s said all day.

You playfully rolled your eyes at her words, your cheeks heating up this time. You let her pull you into the dining hall, bright smiles gracing both of your faces. She might have annoyed you a tad bit with everything she said today but you wouldn’t actually complain. You meant what you had told her, you would have loved her regardless if she was the best at flirting or not.

[lemonlover1110]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝟑𝟖𝟏

Toji Fushiguro

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[Chapter 13] Back to the Beginning

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

“I’m an escort.” Toji says which leaves you wide-eyed. You aren’t sure how to react, other than simply staring at the man. You’re dumbfounded. Dumbfounded even sounds like an understatement. Your mouth is parted, and you’re simply shocked to even hear that. Maybe you should’ve suspected that, but you didn’t. “I’m not dating anyone.”

“Yeah um…” You really aren’t sure how else to respond. You still feel hurt mainly because he hid this from you. You’re gathering your thoughts, and you think about talking this out with him but you aren’t sure if he’ll accept the offer to talk right at this moment; you’re afraid to ask. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asks, his hand still on the door. You bite down on your tongue, holding back on making a snarky remark due to the words he used not even five minutes ago. You clear your throat, tilting your head to the side,

“Is that any of my business?” You respond as you move to the side to let him in. It’s too cold outside for him to explain something that seems like a mouthful to explain. He walks inside and you shut the door. You watch him take a seat. “Don’t waste time, Toji. I’m tired.”

“Right…” He looks at the ground in shame. You’re not in the mood to comfort him, and you certainly aren’t going to tell him that him being an escort is no big deal. “Momoko and I aren’t dating. She just… Pretends like we are to her friends and her coworkers and parents– Just everyone around her. I look… Presentable enough and I guess she likes that I don’t really try to engage with them.”

“Okay…” Your brain isn’t coming up with the right words to say. “So how far–”

“Just going to events. Doesn’t get past flirting and occasional pecks on the lips.” He answers, and while it’s not as horrible as you thought, your stomach still churns. You don’t like what you’re hearing– But it’s fine, you’re not dating Toji or anything. He’s just your neighbor who you’ve gotten extremely friendly with. You take a deep breath and slowly nod your head. “What’s up?”

“Why didn’t you tell me this? Why are you doing all of this?” Questions flood your head. You aren’t really sure what you’re expecting to hear, but you hope that it’ll put you at ease.

“I didn’t want to scare you away… It’s not something that I’m exactly proud of.” He tells you, fidgeting his hands, not really having the courage to look at you. Toji isn’t a man that’s ashamed of anything but for some reason as he stands before you, he finds himself extremely embarrassed that he’s doing all of this. “I… Just want to save up a lot of money and buy Megumi a proper house, where he has his own room and can go outside and play in his own yard. Fixing cars is not enough with all my expenses.”

“I– I don’t know what to say, Toji.” You’re simply shocked. Maybe you should’ve expected it, but you were hoping he was a waiter or something along those lines. Not an escort. “I guess… You have to do whatever you have to do.”

“So what do you think?” He asks when you sit in complete silence for a minute, although it feels like it’s an eternity. He finally looks at you, watching as you stare down at your thighs. You really don’t know what to say, it’s not something light.

“You should’ve told me sooner.” You have no other words. Maybe if you found out sooner than you would’ve taken the news better. It’s not that you’re upset but… This is all so confusing for you. “I guess there isn’t that much trust between us and… It’s not something that you’re exactly proud of.”

“I mean, do you look at me differently now?” He questions, and you do. But mainly because he tried to hide it. He just makes it seem like he’s actually sleeping with them and– God, the idea of him sleeping with other women makes you upset.

“Did you… Fuck any of them?” You ask, and he quickly shakes his head. That makes you feel a lot better, but you still feel pretty weird. “I guess, I do. I just thought you would’ve told me. Considering that I almost consider you a boyfriend.”

“I guess sometimes things aren’t how we want.” He responds. You sigh, and he stands up from the bed, beginning to walk towards the door. His hand lands on the doorknob, and he turns to look at you. You stare at each other for a moment before he speaks up, “I hope things don’t change between us.”

“I hope so too.” You muster to say. He opens the door and exits, making you lay down on your bed. You don’t want things to change, Toji has been making you feel so good.

But you know things will change. There’s no way they can remain the same after finding out the truth.

It’s not because he’s an escort– Well not entirely. You feel weird knowing that Toji’s been hiding this from you. The idea of Toji kissing other women for the sole purpose of money makes you sick. You doubt that you’ll be sleeping tonight.

You’re more concerned about what he’s doing, rather than questioning who sent you the photos. Who knows about you and Toji? You have an answer, but you don’t really care to think about it. Your main concern right now is your relationship with Toji, a man who you thought you had a possible romantic relationship with.

You want to say that things remain unchanged, but they aren’t. You’re awkward around Toji, the same way he’s awkward around you. The only reason you interact now it’s because of Megumi, and it makes you feel upset because you were sure a relationship was developing. 

Slowly your walls were coming down and you’d allow yourself to be with the man that you were starting to like more than a friend. Sadly, things didn’t turn out the way you were hoping. 

You try not to dwell on it, maybe you’re just not meant to be with each other. It’s fine though, your hopes weren’t up too much. You won’t deny how weird this whole arrangement is. You feel like you’re trying to coparent Megumi even though he’s not your son. At least now Toji is paying you some money, even if it isn’t a lot. 

You want to act like everything is okay, but for some reason you find yourself upset when he’s working late nights, and your mind wonders just exactly what he’s doing. At least it doesn’t get past kissing; at least that’s what he told you. You aren’t quite sure if you can believe Toji’s word. 

The first week of February strikes you, and you’re shocked to realize just how fast time is going. It’s been over a month since you’ve had your conversation with Toji, over a month since he last kissed you. You don’t miss it, at least that’s what you tell yourself.

You don’t like Toji all that much either way. That sentiment slowly fades away. A little too slow for your liking, but regardless, it’s leaving. 

As Valentine’s day approaches, you find yourself a bit saddened though since you were expecting to have a Valentine’s this year. First it was Kento, your late husband, since you expected him to last longer. That hope clearly vanished, but as you got closer to Toji, maybe he could be your Valentine.

The most unexpected thing though is when you’re in your apartment taking care of Megumi. He has a little backpack– Which isn’t exactly so little. It reaches past his knees and he has to be careful with it. You have no idea why Toji got that backpack for him since it’s plain black and boring, not to even mention twice his size. He’s looking for something there.

“What are you looking for, GumiGumi?” You ask him, crouching down to help the little boy that looks determined to find something. He finally pulls out a wrinkled piece of paper that’s folded in half. It’s a card, and it’s filled with attempted shapes. You squint your eyes, trying to make out what it is. “What is that, honey?”

“Would you be my valentine?” He asks, as he extends his arm to you. You feel your heart soften, your bottom lip sticking out as you put your hand over your heart. He’s simply the cutest. You always knew you wanted kids but this just confirms it even more. You hug him.

“Of course, baby.” You respond. You kiss his temple, a big smile on your face when you look at him. Maybe you won’t be so lonely this Valentine’s day, you still have Megumi who is almost like your son. Knowing Toji, he’ll be busy. “Do you want to do something special? Maybe go to the movie theater or get something to eat?”

“Can we get ice cream?” He asks, a spark in his eyes as he mentions the cold treat. You end up nodding in response, causing the biggest smile to come to his face. Then he asks, “Can daddy come with us?”

“If he’s available, yes, baby.” You answer. When you fully stand up, you put the card down on the counter and you ask him, “Do you want anything specific to eat, Megumi?”

“No.” He shakes his head. You walk over to the fridge to look at what ingredients you have that can make a quick and easy meal. You’re not really in a cooking mood. 

You hear your phone ring, and you furrow your brows. You grab it to see an unknown number calling. You’re about to hang up the call since lately a lot of weird numbers have been calling you. Something urges you to pick it up, and when you do, you almost regret it. You heard your name, and you aren’t sure whether you should confirm or deny.

“This is her.” You end up confirming it. Your eyes widen when you hear it’s from the hospital, and you feel your heart drop. You remember a similar call years ago, and it ended up in you losing so much. “Who is in the hospital?”

Your eyes immediately dart to the little boy who opens his notebook to scribble with his crayons. God you hope it’s not– “Toji Fushiguro? I’ll be on my way.”

[lowkeychenle]

Like We Just Met [ZCL] (M)

Description: Everything else about the day is completely normal when Chenle realizes he wants to marry you. It hits him like a tidal wave, and he's itching to tell you just how much he wants to love you forever.

Genre: Fluff (literally SO MUCH FLUFF we love Chenle in this house go away if you don't) // Smut

Content Warnings: Explicit unprotected sex (it's actually sweet this time am I feeling okay), talks about marriage etc etc. Nothing really dark or upsetting in here.

Word Count: 11,292 (y'all I have no idea how this happened...)

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (feat. the rest of the Dreamies)

ISTJ 7Dream Series Masterlist

Juliet's Masterlist | Requests/Tell me what you think of this plz <3

Tag List (open for ISTJ 7Dream Series): @kunvibing

Author's Note: Lowkey? This was so fun because it's from Chenle's POV...or it's supposed to be haha. This is probably my favorite fic I've ever written catch me crying in the corner...also this gif don't mind the real tears in my eyes

Nobody questioned Renjun when he said he’d invited his friend to dance practice. They brought friends in every now and then, so it wasn’t anything new. Chenle was having a bit of an off day. He kept screwing up the choreography (that he’d done seven hundred times probably in the past week alone) and even accidentally elbowed Jaemin.

Renjun’s friend had yet to show up. Chenle was beyond frustrated with the way things were going, so he let everyone know he was taking a break. He grabbed his water bottle and stomped out of the practice room.

He ended up a bit down the hallway, resting his back on the wall with his eyes closed. All he needed was a break. That had to be it.

“Are you okay?” a soft voice asked.

When he looked at you, he recoiled a bit. He’d never seen you before—he’d definitely remember—but something about you felt familiar. Like a warm aura surrounded you and infiltrated him in the best ways.

“You’re Chenle, right?” You tilted your head at him. “I’m Renjun’s friend, (Y/N). I was supposed to watch practice, but I got lost. This building is pretty big.”

“Yeah, I’m Chenle.” He blinks at you a couple more times. “Um, we’re always in the same practice room. I’ll take you over there.”

“Actually, is there a place to get some water? I forgot mine at home.” You scratched the top of your head and scrunched up your nose. “It was really hot outside.”

“It’s on the way.” He gestured down the hall with his head.

You followed him without hesitation. He was acutely aware of every step you took, of how there was only a few feet between the two of you. Even though he had no clue what to say to you, you didn’t mind walking along in silence. It was unlike him to be shy. Next to impossible for him to be starstruck.

“How long have you known Renjun for?” he asked. And why the hell had you not come around sooner?

“Oh.” You took a deep breath and pursed your lips in thought as Chenle stopped to grab you a water bottle from the kitchen. “Four years now? Five? His family knows mine, so when I came back here, his parents told him he had to help me find my way around.”

“Well, today’s pretty laid back,” Chenle explains. “We’ll probably practice for another hour or two and then go home. We’ve been at it all day.”

You hum in response, opening the cap and taking a sip. “Thank you for this. Sorry to keep you from practice.”

“Don’t be. I’m ready to get the hell out of here.” Chenle chuckles, gaze drinking you in when you’re distracted by your water. “And…they can be a little…much at first. But they’re all great people, so you’ll be fine.”

“Bold of you to assume I’m nervous.” You narrowed your eyes at him playfully.

He bit back a smile, pressing his lips into a thin line instead. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Renjun has given me plenty of warnings,” you tell him.

He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t taken you to the practice room yet. The two of you stood in the kitchen, but he knew the second you were with everyone else, the conversation was over. He didn’t want to stop talking to you, and that odd feeling of warmth settled into his chest.

“Like what?” Chenle raised his eyebrows.

“He said you’re cranky and mean.” You smiled at him, and he swore he was almost knocked off his feet. There was something about you that drew him in.

Chenle made a mental note to scold Renjun later, but he’s not necessarily wrong…he was cranky until he saw you.

“Well, in that case, what he said about everyone else is probably accurate, too.”

“You don’t look cranky,” you interjected. “You’re not mean either. Mean people don’t get strangers water bottles.”

“I’m mean to Renjun. And Jisung.”

“They’re your friends. You get a pass for your friends.” You slid one of your hands into the back pocket of your jeans, rocking on the balls of your feet as silence befell the room.

“They’re waiting for me,” Chenle says. “We should go.”

You nodded in agreement and followed him. He sulked a bit when the other members were introduced to you. They were all nice—because they always were—but when it came time to get back to practice, he found himself gravitating toward you several times.

Nearly every time he looked at you, you were already looking at him, too. Maybe it wasn’t just him that felt the weird tug. He hoped it wasn’t.

After they wrapped everything up, Chenle sat against the back wall, feeling so heavy as if he could fall asleep right there. He was exhausted.

Jaemin, Jeno, Donghyuck, and Mark were already on their way out the door, leaving Jisung to slump next to Chenle and Renjun to talk with you. Jisung noted how he was watching you, but he didn’t say anything right away. He drank his water and stayed quiet.

You said something to Renjun, who smiled at you and nodded. He headed for the door and waited for you outside. When Chenle realized you were coming over to him, he shot a worried glance over at Jisung.

“Would you look at that?” Jisung cleared his throat. “Time for me to go.”

Before Chenle could even grab him, Jisung was halfway to the door. Once you were in front of him, you sat down and crossed your legs.

“You did really well today.”

He chuckled. “I think that’s the worst I’ve done this comeback season.”

“Then you’re in pretty good shape.” You shrugged, picking at the seam of your jeans. “I wanted to thank you. For helping me earlier.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” he said. “You’re Renjun’s friend. Of course, I’d help you.”

“Right.” You brushed your hair over your shoulder and prepared to stand up. “I should go—”

“Will you be coming back?” The question shot out of his mouth, sending a blush to his cheeks in response.

“I’m not sure,” you told him. “That’s up to Renjun I guess. It was really cool to see how passionate you guys are.”

“Let me give you my number.” Chenle grabbed his phone from his pocket. “Um, just in case you get lost again. And need help finding the room.” He cringed at himself, hoping he wasn’t going to get rejected.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You gave him the tiniest smile, but it made his heart flutter anyway.

He handed it to you with the contact app open. You didn’t even hesitate to type in your name and number. After, you sent yourself a text, and Chenle heard it ring in your back pocket. You gave it back to him, grinned, and left him sitting there in shock.

He couldn’t choose between staring at you as you left and looking down at your contact open on his screen. His stomach twisted with nerves, but the second he saw the smiley face emoji you’d put next to your name, he already knew.

You were going to be someone to him.

Mark drops something in the kitchen, snapping Chenle out of it. He looks at you, and you smile back at him. With you pressed into his side and your legs over his lap, he can’t help but grin right back.

His hand rests on your thigh, thumb sliding gently back and forth as he presses a kiss to your temple. He’d never get used to this.

After returning from the kitchen, Mark allows the game to resume. His nose scrunches as he glances between you and Chenle. “That’s a weird ass question.”

“Not weird.” Chenle shakes his head. “Critical thinking, Mark, you should try it.”

“Oh, be nice.” You shove his shoulder.

For a while now, Chenle has felt his feelings growing more than he thought possible. He’s already in love with you (thankfully, since you’ve been together almost a year now), but something about you lately has him on a whole other level. Even then, he’s not sure what it is. He decides he’ll ride it out for a while and see where it takes him.

“Why would you ask your girlfriend what year she’d take a time machine back to? Shouldn’t she be like…happiest now?” Mark asks, sipping on whatever mixed drink he’d prepared in Chenle’s kitchen.

“You’d think.” Chenle snorts, leaning back against the couch and throwing his arm around you.

“He asks me questions like this all the time,” you tell Mark. When you steal a glance at your boyfriend, his breath catches in his chest.

What the hell is going on with him lately? He can’t concentrate around you (even more than usual) and every tiny thing you do has his heart hammering against his ribcage. Soon enough, he’s sure you’ll both hear the bones crack.

“Has anyone, by chance, ever told you two that you’re gross?” Mark chuckles to himself and leans back in the recliner. “Some of us are single and lonely, you know.”

“Some of us will never be that again,” Chenle shoots back.

“Oh, you two are the worst.” Your laugh echoes pleasantly in his ears, and he subconsciously leans closer to you.

“I am curious what your answer is, though,” Mark interjects. “Since Chenle’s so sure.”

Chenle takes a sip of his own drink, nearly cringing at the bitter taste dragging down his throat. He’s not much of a drinker—social at best. But he can still appreciate the buzz and the hazy happiness that comes with it. You take his hand that dangles over your shoulder, twirling the friendship ring wrapped around his middle finger. The action is so, so simple, yet it makes his stomach turn.

If he doesn’t figure out what the hell’s going on with him soon, he’s gonna have to separate himself from you.

“Well, you’re right.” You shrug, shuffling closer to Chenle. “This part of my life has definitely been the best. But if I could go back to any time, it would probably be when we met. You only get to meet Zhong Chenle once in your life, dude. I’d do it over and over again if I could. The second I saw him, I knew he would be important to me.”

Chenle thinks back to the moment he first saw you. The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you like an actual child or the way he took in every detail of you to store in his mind forever—just in case he never got to speak to you again. He pauses, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he analyzes your answer.

Mark groans. “That doesn’t count! That was last year.”

Grabbing the pillow next to him, Chenle throws it at his friend. “Leave her alone, it was a good answer.”

But when he contemplates that thought, he’s not sure he understands what you mean. His ears burn, the tips of them turning red as he recalls how embarrassingly nervous he was around you all the time. How awkward all of your firsts together were. Everything now is so much better than back then.

Not to mention he’s looked at you the same way since that first night. His feelings for you have grown, sure, but those butterflies he used to get still torment him just about every time he sees you smile.

“Why?” Chenle finally asks.

“You were so cute,” you hum, shifting closer to him. “Everything made you nervous. You almost keeled over in embarrassment when you asked to hold my hand.”

Mark laughs, and Chenle sends a glare his way. No part of that is even anywhere near funny.

“Okay, it's your turn.” Mark gestures at you.

Chenle resists the urge to reach over and touch your face. Usually, he’s so much better about being so clingy in front of his friends and, while he would prefer Mark not seeing this side of him, he couldn’t care less when his gaze is locked with yours.

“Cool.” You nod, taking a sip of your drink. “Both of you. Hypothetical situation. Let’s say you’re drunk. You walk into a room and everyone you’ve ever loved is in there. Like…loved. Who are you going to?”

“Dude.” Mark’s jaw drops. “That’s such a shitty question for me.”

“You’ll live,” Chenle replies. “Just romantic love?”

“All of it. Platonic, romantic, family.” You purse your lips in thought.

Chenle doesn’t have to think about it. Not really. He’d rather get struck by lightning and then hit by a bus right after before admitting that so easily in front of Mark. In this case, it’s always been you. From the second you spoke to him for the first time, he was irrevocably yours. 

“You.” Chenle watches your eyebrows raise.

“Be serious,” you say. “Your parents are included in that.”

“I’m serious. You.” Chenle chuckles.

You give him a pointed look, but that’s when Mark cuts in.

“No, he’s for real. Like…that legitimately happened.” Mark leans forward, elbows digging into his thighs as he rests his head in his palms. “Do you guys not remember?”

“What are you talking about?” you ask him, frowning.

Chenle remembers. Barely, and it’s a bit foggy, but it comes back like a baseball bat upside the head as Mark starts telling the story.

Chenle’s birthday party last year. The night was barely halfway through and he was drunk enough to be stumbling over his feet. He’d heard you were coming, but he had yet to see you. Even when every other feeling was numbed by the tingling sensation the alcohol left behind, his craving to see you was all that remained. 

Mark walked next to him, having a full conversation with himself since Chenle was so fog-brained. As much as he loved Mark, there was only one person he wanted to see. Everyone he knew and loved was here—his parents, the rest of his group, and Jisung had somehow forgotten to uninvite Chenle’s ex.

He only ever dated one person before you, but he wasn’t sure he ever loved her. Regardless, there she was. Even with her standing across the room from him, he kept waiting like a lost puppy.

When you walked in, he swore the whole world stopped around him. Everyone but you was moving in slow motion before they eventually faded into nothing, darkness that was emphasized by the light you were. His breath caught in his throat, and he stopped walking.

Chenle couldn’t form a coherent thought while he stared at you, drunken stupor making it so much easier to forget the embarrassment. Mark watched him curiously as Chenle made his way over to you. He refused to waste any more time when he knew you were the one he wanted to talk to.

You had always been more confident around him than he was around you. Your face lit up when you saw him, wrapping your arms around him. He secured you in his grasp, breathing in the scent of your hair and the perfume you wore.

“Happy birthday.” Your voice is muffled a bit by his T-shirt. “Sorry I’m late, took a bit longer to get ready than I thought it would.”

He knew he should’ve let you go. People were starting to notice the way he was clinging to you, and not even being drunk could excuse that behavior. He was about ready to tell everyone except you to leave. Nothing else mattered. If he could spend his birthday with you, it would be the best one yet.

It’d been two months since Renjun had introduced you to the rest of them. Which means, he’s only known of your existence for two months, and you already command so much of his brain matter that he can’t think of anyone but you. Great.

He finally (reluctantly) let you go and led you over to the rest of the group. Nobody said anything when he made Mark scoot over so you could sit next to him. Nobody questioned it. His parents would ask him about it later, but until then, there was no reason for him to worry. After all, his crush on you was the most obvious thing in the world, so it was only a matter of time before you found out about it.

By the end of the night, he hadn’t spent enough time with you. People were starting to shuffle out, but you stayed, chatting with Renjun until only four remained. Chenle’s parents had gone to bed long ago. You were almost caught up to him on drinks, your laughs longer and your movements slower.

Under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t have been as brave as to walk up to you and ask you to stay the night. He didn’t mean it in a suggestive way, either. He just didn’t want you to leave yet.

“Chenle,” Renjun scolds, swatting his shoulder. “You can’t ask something like that so casually.”

“You want me to stay here? With you?” Your voice was higher than normal. Chenle accredited it to the alcohol raging in your system.

“I like when you’re here.” Chenle nodded. “You make everything calm.”

Renjun scrunched up his face, slamming his forehead into his palm. “(Y/N), you should probably go home—”

“No, it’s okay.” You brushed him off. “I’m okay with staying.”

Oh, he was in love with you. There was no other explanation for the way his heart skipped a beat when those words came out of your mouth.

Chenle doesn’t remember the rest of that night, but he does recall waking up next to you in the morning and freaking out. Alcohol made him brave, but it didn’t save him from the red-hot embarrassment of the next day.

“I didn’t even realize…” you trailed off, a small smile forming on your face. “You picked me.”

“I’ll always pick you,” Chenle responds easily, like second nature.

Mark decides it’s time for him to leave, but Chenle’s mind is still reeling with memories. With all of the firsts you said you wished you could relive. But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t figure out what the fuck this feeling is. As the two of you climb into bed, he’s so distracted, he can’t fall asleep, even with you curled into his chest.

“(Y/N),” Chenle groaned when he saw you in the practice room mirror. “You gotta stop showing up here if you don’t want me to fall in love with you.”

It was a joke. Sort of.

“Right, and let you forget to eat? I think not.” You fought back every time, unphased by the way he so casually admitted he’s starting to fall for you.

At least, that was his idea of admitting it.

You walked over with the bags in your hand, sitting down on the practice room floor next to him. 

“I haven’t even been here that long,” Chenle defended himself. “I would’ve eaten after I left.”

You unloaded the contents, opening boxes. “I can go if that’s what you want.”

“Not what I said.” For some reason, he felt a sudden burst of courage. He’s known you for four months at this point, and something about today felt…right. “I was serious, you know.”

“About what?” You grabbed the drinks from the carrier.

“You.”

“What?” You recoiled, looking at him in confusion.

He contemplated telling you to forget it. That it didn’t matter, and thank you for the food instead. If you didn’t feel the same way for him, he’d be devastated. And then you’d leave him for good and take all the food with you. He was starving.

“If you keep doing nice things for me, I’m gonna fall for you.” As if he hasn’t already.

You paused, but Chenle didn’t miss the blush on your face. Clearing your throat, you looked away from him and took a deep breath. His fists clenched as he awaited your rejection, but the longer the silence stretched, the more he felt you might want him to.

“Don’t say things like that if you don’t mean it,” you finally said and brushed your hair behind your ears. Reaching forward for the food again, you gave Chenle a shocked look when he grabbed your wrist.

“You’re right. I’m not going to fall for you. I already did.”

Your jaw dropped, eyes widening as his words settled in the air around both of you. With his heart racing, he released your wrist and intertwined your fingers instead.

“I really, really like you.”

“You should really eat your food before it gets cold.” You pulled your hand from his and pushed the box closer to him.

He stared blankly at the wall, noting the sudden chill on his skin that you left behind. A sinking feeling encapsulated his chest, and he knew he ruined everything. You looked like you were ready to run.

“Forget I said anything,” he told you. “I’m sorry if that was weird.”

“Eat,” you commanded again. “I’m not talking about this with you until I know you’ve eaten. If you don’t, we’ll go off on a tangent and you’ll be starving all night.”

“Does that mean you—”

“Yes, Chenle.” You interrupted him. “Yes, I really, really like you too, which is why I want to make sure you eat.”

At that moment, Chenle realized that if he walked outside and randomly dropped dead, he’d be okay with it now that he’s gotten that confession out of you. There wasn’t a damn thing that could top that. Everything else in life would be subpar to today, so there was no point in trying.

You and Chenle ate in silence. He kept stealing glances at you, catching you doing the same to him. If all he had to do in order to get you to talk about your feelings with him was eat, he’d do it, albeit probably a bit too fast for his own good.

Chenle runs his fingers through his hair, his thumb tracing gentle shapes against the bare skin of your arm. These memories have no business popping up in the middle of the night. He has practice tomorrow. He’ll be so off his game, the other members will want to kill him.

Usually, he has no problem falling asleep, especially with you right beside him. Over the past year, you’ve probably spent more nights with him than you have at your own place. He teases you for it all the time, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Closing his eyes, he listens to the soft sounds of your breathing and allows himself to feel the way your body slots with his so easily. Everything about you is perfect. About the two of you together. He would toss and turn, but no way is he going to disturb you. Even if he can’t sleep, he’d never screw up your schedule on purpose.

“It’s so pretty.” You were in awe, staring at the sunset from Chenle’s backyard. He’d set up a picnic date for the two of you, and afterward, you were watching the sun fade below the treeline while lying on top of a red blanket.

His fingers were intertwined with yours, something that had become so normal for you. Two weeks since his confession, and it was the second date he planned. He wondered, obsessed over, even, what your thought process was on all of this. Were you happy? Did he make you happy?

He wanted to kiss you when he confessed to you. And while he came close to it on your first date, he decided against it. It had to be perfect. Nothing was good enough for you in his mind, especially when all he wanted was to make sure you knew just how he felt about you.

How was he supposed to tell you that?

He’d already said he fell for you, but that didn’t begin to cover it. Not really. You made him want to put in effort, made him crave your happiness like it was the very oxygen he breathed. At the same time, he didn’t want you to think he didn’t want to kiss you. Hell, he’d already dreamed of it, for fuck’s sake, so that definitely wasn’t the issue.

Lost in thought, he’s only snapped out of it by the way you rolled over, lying on your stomach so you can get a good look at his face. You rested your head on your right palm, your left finding his bicep.

“You’re so perfect,” he hummed, twirling your hair with his fingers. “Could look at you forever.”

“Some people might have an issue with that.” You laughed.

“We’re the only ones that matter,” he responded.

Your smile slowly faded, a look of longing replacing it as your gaze softened.

God, he wanted to kiss you. He needed to.

All thoughts of the perfect moment have fled from his brain. Any moment would be perfect as long as it’s you.

He sat up and you leaned forward, and before he knew it, his nose brushed yours. Your eyes fluttered shut in preparation. The heat of the sun sank into his skin. Your perfume wafted from you, intertwining with the air and suffocating him in the best ways. If he could pick one scent to smell for the rest of his life, it would be yours.

Was it normal to have these thoughts so early?

Why was he thinking of that right now? Literally the worst possible time.

“Can I?” he whispered, scared to ruin everything.

“Yes.”

As soon as the word left your mouth, he kissed you. Everything about you was soft, so he shouldn’t have been so surprised to find your lips the same way. His hands shook as he touched your waist.

He was already in big trouble. There wasn’t a single part of him that wanted to stop there. His heart thudded so loud, he was halfway sure you could hear it, too. It felt like sparks flew between you two, absolute electricity coursing through every single one of his veins, heating up his bloodstream and making the thought of pulling away from you the absolute worst case scenario.

You moved away first, gasping for breath. Chenle craved tugging you back to him. His body reacted to you in ways it had never reacted to anyone else. He didn’t want to take it too far, but he sure as hell didn’t want to stop, either.

He couldn’t describe the way you felt. The way you tasted. Everything about you was so heart-achingly perfect, he wanted to experience you all the time. He wanted to rewind time so he could kiss you again for the first time, and he’d do it over and over and over again.

Something about first kisses set him on fire. He was absolutely sure he’d kiss you more. In fact, he was seconds away from it. But the adrenaline coming from the very first brush of your lips on his wasn’t something he’d ever be able to recreate.

“Again.” You leaned in once more.

He met you in the middle eagerly, hand finding the back of your head before he turned you so you were lying on your back. Half of his weight pressed against you, but he did his best to keep himself lifted up so you weren’t uncomfortable.

Unforgettable heat swarmed him, the sun caressing his skin as your fingers gently traced down the back of his neck. Goosebumps formed, but he could hardly pay attention to them. The entire world was gone, and you were everything, the only person remaining in a sea of nothingness. He wanted you. Needed you.

This was technically your second kiss, but in his mind, it was still the first since they happened almost at the same time. He hadn’t stopped to take a breath in much too long, but he’d rather suffocate than separate from you.

He stopped when your breath hitched, completely lost in the sound. When he wasn’t focusing on your mouth anymore, he realized why—his hand had somehow found its way to your upper thigh. His face burned as he removed it.

“I didn’t…” he trailed off, scanning over your face for any hint of what you were feeling. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

You chuckled at him, pushing his shoulder. “You wish that excuse would work on me.”

The sky faded into a beautiful lilac color, the kind that only appeared when the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. Clouds drifted effortlessly, stars beginning to shine.

“Should we go inside?” Chenle asked. “It’ll get cold without the sun.”

Whenever he looked at you, he knew you were different. He couldn’t place how, but nobody else had ever made him feel the way you do. Like his heart was going to burst out of his chest while simultaneously stopping and also skipping every other beat. He didn’t even know how he was alive anymore.

In the last two weeks since his confession, the boys had told him how much happier he was. How he was striving with more effort lately and trying his best at any given moment of the day. You were his motivation. You made him want to be the absolute best he could be, and even as new as the relationship was, he’d already known you for months—he was nervous about you deciding you wanted something else. Someone who wasn’t him.

The moment before replayed in his head, and he heard that breath hitch on repeat while he awaited your answer. He did his best to stop thinking about it, but nothing worked. All he wanted to do was kiss you again, over and over and over until the literal end of time.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “Let’s go inside.”

His cheeks redden just thinking of that memory. The first time he ever kissed you, and he royally fucked up because his hand didn’t know how to stay put. At this point, it’s clear he’s not going to be able to fall asleep. He hates the idea of leaving you in bed alone, but he’s only going to disturb you if he doesn’t plan on sleeping.

Sliding away from you carefully, he quietly gets up and heads into the kitchen. He runs his fingers through his hair. His hands down his face. He must be sentimental today, because he can’t stop thinking about you for the life of him. Every memory from the last year pokes at his head, and he has no clue how to handle it.

Patting his cheeks, he heads over to the fridge to grab a water bottle. Photos of the two of you are framed up on the wall. There’s one picture in particular he always says is his favorite, but he refuses to tell you why.

The two of you were sitting on the floor, and you had the cutest glare on your face. He sees the adoration gleaming in your gaze even though you look about ready to strangle him. In your defense, you probably were. He lets out a tiny laugh, tracing over the frame. 

There’s even one with Chenle between you and Jisung, and a group picture with you and the boys. Chenle loves his friends dearly, and the way they’ve welcomed you with open arms says a lot about both your relationship with them and his potential future with you. Everyone in his life loves you. You’re the one they call when Chenle’s upset or if he’s off his game, and no matter when or where this is happening, you show up to make him feel better.

He could be having the worst day of his entire existence, and a simple ‘I love you’ passing from your lips has him forgetting everything shitty about the world. Looking back at the pictures, he’s drawn back into memory.

He heard the birds outside his window before he saw the gleaming sun. His eyes fluttered open while he groaned quietly at the sudden change of brightness. Your body was like a fireball, your skin searing hot against his, but it did little to bother him. His groan turned into a sigh of content, and he wrapped his arms around you tighter. Fingertips trailing down your bare spine, he kissed your forehead.

Three months together, and every night spent with you made him fall deeper in love. He’d never known peace as he did at that moment. No interruptions, just the two of you basking in each other’s embrace.

He could’ve stayed like that forever—he wanted to, but glancing at the clock, he realized how close it was to noon. Jaemin would be there soon, and the last thing Chenle needed was him in his house when you were naked in his bed.

He reluctantly got up, dressing himself before grabbing some clothes for you. You have a drawer, multiple, actually, but he picked his own T-shirt for you to wear. When he made it over to you, you were stirring.

“You got up.” You pouted at him, staring at him through half-closed eyes. “And you have clothes on.”

Chenle laughed. “Sorry, love. Jaemin will be here soon.”

“It’s that late?” you asked.

Chenle nodded, setting the clothes down next to you. He kissed you softly, gently, a kiss so barely there it left you leaning forward to try to continue it. Cupping your cheek, he brushed his thumb along your skin.

You didn’t need help getting dressed, but he did it anyway. He loved the way you looked in his T-shirts, and even though it’s long enough to cover you, no way he’d risk it. Once you were finished, the two of you got ready for the day. You brushed your teeth together, he watched you brush your hair, and by the time you’re done, Jaemin was walking in the front door.

The three of you sat on the floor around Chenle’s coffee table, playing a game. He can’t remember what the game was anymore, only that you were terrible at it and that he loved winning.

Jaemin teased both of you the whole time, ruffling Chenle’s hair on multiple occasions. As much as he’d love to deny it, Chenle enjoyed that Jaemin liked the two of you together. It was almost like an affirmation, even if he didn’t need one.

Being the professional picture-snapper he was, Jaemin took the picture now hanging up on Chenle’s wall. You, with your arms crossed over your chest and a big pout on your face, and Chenle, smiling widely at you with such adoration in his eyes it should’ve been impossible.

“Lele?” Your soft voice breaks him away from his memory. He turns to you quickly, heart instantly halting in his chest when he sees his shirt on you.

“What are you doing up?” he asks.

“I was gonna ask you that.” You rub your eyes, feet shuffling on the floor as you walk over to him.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he replies and takes you in his arms with ease. “Didn’t want to bug you, sunshine.”

You don’t respond. All you do is bury your head in his chest and breathe him in. He runs his fingers through your hair, kissing the top of your head. With all the lights off, the only illumination is the full moon outside as it casts shadows on the ground. The faint blue makes you that much more ethereal to him.

“You okay?” he whispers.

“Mm,” you hum in response. “This is nice.”

Chenle smiles. “Yeah, it is. Always is.”

After a bit of silence and rocking you gently, an idea sparks. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, finding the playlist he made specifically for when he thinks about you, and sets it on the counter. You stare at him in tired confusion, but when one of his arms wraps around your waist, you catch on.

“What are you doing?” Humor is laced in your voice, but the sweet look on your face tells him his actions are making you happy. That’s his goal, constantly. All he wants is to make you happy.

“Checking something off the bucket list,” he replies, slowly turning you to the soft beat.

“Something’s missing,” you say as he twirls you.

He steals a glance at the way his shirt rides up your legs, showing just a peek of your panties beneath it.

“What?” he asks, pulling you back to him.

“Sing to me.” You place your hand on his chest.

His heart betrays him at that moment. It rages, and he knows you can feel it. Chenle sings in front of thousands of people all the time, but something about you is different. Something about you right now is different.

“What’s going on up in there?” You run your fingers through his hair. “You’ve been all weird today.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admits. “Everything. From the moment we met up until this…it keeps repeating over and over again.”

“Welcome to my world,” you replied, grasping his shoulders. You massage them gently as you sway along with the music.

The confession from you makes him smile. At least he’s not the only one doing constant circles in his head. He calms a bit, and when a new song plays, he sings to you. Your body immediately relaxes into his, as if every stress you’ve ever had has left you without hesitation.

Chenle loves to sing. He does it all the time, and he only wants to keep getting better. To have someone like you as his partner, someone who supports him endlessly and genuinely loves his voice…it’s unparalleled.

He’s not sure how long the two of you are like this, or how long he’s singing for, but song after song, all he knows is that you’re smiling. You’re looking at him with unmatched adoration in your eyes, pure love. Nobody else has ever looked at him in this way, and he doesn’t want them to.

He wants to stay here with you and watch you love him in ways he’s never been loved before.

He stops. His singing fades out, and he furrows his eyebrows as he finally, finally realizes what’s been happening to him. You tilt your head, able to ask him questions without saying anything. His chest feels like it’s going to burst.

You’re it. 

You’re everything, and he’s going to marry you.

He’s going to spend the rest of his life striving to make sure you love him as much as you do right now, if not more.

It seems like you feel it, too. Your face softens and you reach up to trace along his cheekbone. He leans into your touch, chasing the warmth like it’s the last time he’ll ever feel it.

“I…” He takes a deep breath, shaking his head slowly. “I’m so fucking in love with you.”

“I know.” You grin so wide, Chenle almost thinks it’ll split your face in two.

“Good.” He brushes your hair behind your ear. “I hope I’m doing a good job in showing you that every day.”

You pause, hands trailing down from his cheeks to his shoulders. “I have never once doubted that you love me, Lele. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“I promise you I’ve never felt better,” he replies. “Just checking in with you.”

“You do so much more than you realize. No matter how busy you are, you text me to tell me you love me or that you’re thinking about me. You practice non-stop with the boys but you still make an effort with me when you could easily use that as an excuse. There is not one thing I could ask for that you don’t already do.” You press a quick kiss to his lips. “I’ll never doubt you.”

“Sometimes I worry,” he admits. “You make me…want to be better. In every way possible. In my career, in my life, with you. And if I’m not being better every day, then I don’t deserve you.”

“Chenle.” You give him a pointed look. “When I think back to the first day we met, I remember how…how you acted from the first time you spoke to me. At the time, I really thought I was crazy, but I knew you’d be someone to me. You didn’t even know me, but you were so kind. And now that we’re here like this, you haven’t changed. There’s no getting better. You’re already the best.”

“How do you do that?” He chuckles, kissing your forehead.

“Do what?”

“Know exactly what to say.”

“That’s my special talent,” you tell him.

“We should get back to bed,” Chenle says, sleep weighing on him. “Meeting the boys tomorrow.”

He grabs his phone from the counter, his heart full and warm as he leads you back to his bedroom. This time, as he’s lying with you pressed to his chest, he’s able to fall into his dreamland.

Despite his lack of sleep, Chenle is full of energy the next day. He wakes up and makes you coffee just the way you like before sitting on the edge of the bed by your sleeping form. When he sets the cup on the nightstand, you stir, turning over to face him.

“You’re gonna be late,” you mumble, even though you have no idea what time it is.

Chenle chuckles, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay? You can stay here if you want. Wanted to tell you I love you before I left.”

“Love you, too,” you say with a tired smile, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Drink your coffee before it gets cold. I’ll grab dinner for us on my way back.”

Walking away from you feels like someone’s trying to rip his heart out of his chest. You’re an extension of him at this point, and after his sudden realization last night, all he wants to do is spend the day curled up with you.

Luckily for him, his day passes by pretty quickly. He got a lot done today, and he was proud of that. You’d be proud of him, too. He’s itching to get home and tell you everything that happened. Staying true to his word, he picks up your favorite takeout.

He’s going to be honest with you about what was going on with him yesterday. It’s the right thing to do—and in a perfect world, you’ll feel the same way he does. He hasn’t felt this nervous since he admitted his feelings for you. Even though that side of him feels worlds away now, he remembers it like it was yesterday.

But the restaurant isn’t the only stop he makes.

He’s shaking by the time he gets back. Is a year really enough time? It is for him, but what if you think he’s insane?

When he arrives, he’s not expecting what you’ve done at all. The main lights are off, but a dim golden glow from the strips along the wall and the candles illuminate the room enough. He sets the bag down on the table, completely forgetting about the food as he searches for you.

“(Y/N)?”

“You’re earlier than I thought you’d be,” you tell him, walking out of his bedroom while still putting in an earring.

His throat dries. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words could ever justify the way you look right now. You put on a dress, one of his favorites, and he’s in jeans and a T-shirt.

You kiss his cheek. “I figured you deserve something nice to come home to.”

“You’re my something nice.” He wraps his arm around your waist. “Should I change?”

“We’re not going anywhere.” You shake your head. “Just relax and enjoy your gorgeous girlfriend.”

“Oh, I can get on board with that.” He allows you to lead him back to the table.

Once he’s taking the food out of the bag, he keeps stealing glances at you. You put in all this effort for him, and he knows how much work it must’ve been to hang up all these lights. The golden glow looks ethereal against your skin.

“Before we eat, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He clears his throat to stop it from collapsing in on itself, but it doesn’t work.

“What’s up?” You set your elbow on the table and rest your head on your palm. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s perfect, actually.” He takes a deep breath, reaching to grab your free hand. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You bite back a laugh.

“You can’t make fun of me for what I’m about to tell you.” He gives you the most serious look he can muster, and you nod.

“I wouldn’t do that,” you reassure him. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I…I want to love you forever.” He gulps. “And when I think of everything we’ve gone through and been through together, I seriously can’t imagine ever trying to have anyone else fill this spot you hold in my life.”

You perk up a bit, gaze staring into his. God, he loves how interested you are in what he has to say. How you’re listening to him so intently. His thumb rubs over your knuckles as he tries to think of the words he wants to use.

“I want to marry you. Call me crazy if you want, tell me you hate the idea, that’s fine, but I had to tell you. We obviously can’t get married now, or probably any time soon because of my contract, but I want you to know that it’s what I want. It’s what’s going to happen if you want it, too.”

You clear your throat and cover your mouth with your hand, eyes welling. Chenle’s heart aches seeing this reaction, knowing you feel as strongly as he does. He reaches into his pocket and puts a small box on the table in front of you.

“It’s not the real thing. Not yet. But I want you to know how serious I am, because if I was able to marry you, I would’ve done it yesterday.” He opens it, revealing a simple band in it. “Subtle enough where people won’t ask questions, but we’ll know.”

“Chenle, are you being serious right now?” You sniffle. “This is a very cruel prank.”

“The guys and I sat down together today to write a song. I think you’ll love it, so when we record it I’m sneaking you a copy. Anyway, we were there for twenty minutes, and words were just flowing out of me. I wrote about you. About how you make me feel, and I think anyone who knows about us will understand that when they listen to the song.”

He pauses to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“I want you. I want to marry you and spend the rest of my life proving to you why I deserve that. Let me put this ring on you, and this can be the start.”

You quickly wipe your face as you nod. He takes your left hand, grabs the ring out of the box, and slips it on your middle finger.

“One day, this will be real.” Chenle catches another one of your tears. “I love you. There is not one thing in this world that could change that.”

His heart pounds in his chest as he watches your reaction. He wants to touch you and kiss you after pouring his thoughts out to you, but he needs to make sure you’re feeling the same way. The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm you.

His palms are sweaty and he can barely sit still. You groan, giving one last aggressive swipe below your eyes before you launch up from your chair and end up in his lap. You bury your head in his neck, squeezing him tighter than you should. He instinctively wraps his arms around your waist, softly chuckling at your outburst.

“You better not change your mind.” Cupping both of his cheeks, you try your best to look angry. “If you do, I’m marrying you anyway.”

His own vision blurs at the sight of you. You love him as much as he loves you, and you want to be with him forever.

You want to be with him forever.

The emotions rioting inside him surprise even him, and he blinks quickly to try and suppress the tears. It’s no use, because as soon as you notice, you start crying again. He groans and drops his head back on the chair, squeezing you closer to him.

“You’ll be the death of me,” Chenle says.

“Kiss me, you idiot.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. His mouth finds yours, both of you falling into each other’s rhythm. Saltiness from your tears lingers on your lips. He weaves his fingers through your hair, but no matter what he does, you’re just not close enough.

Pulling away from you, he rests his forehead on yours. “You should eat, sunshine.”

“You expect me to be able to eat after all of that?” You furrow your eyebrows. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

“You’ll be sad if it gets cold,” he reminds you.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be sad again,” you whisper.

All thoughts escape him. Nothing else exists except for you, wrapped around him like a damn koala bear. He rests his hand on your thigh and lets your words sink deep into him.

Moments like these are hard to explain, he thinks. He’s only like this around you, so lost in his connection with you that he’s got nothing else on his mind. Anything and everything you say to him is tattooed in the darkest ink on his soul, until he’s covered in everything he wants to be for you.

“Promise me you’ll always look at me like that.” You break the silence, running your fingers through his hair and smiling.

“I promise.” He nods, barely realizing how he’s leaning forward.

Your eyes flutter shut as he inches closer. He kisses you softly, almost as if he fears he’ll break you. His fingers splay out across the small of your back and he traces shapes into the soft fabric of your dress. You’re overwhelming. His love for you is, too. So much so, he feels as if he’s going to burst out of his skin. He’s going to wake up and everything will have been a dream, because there’s no way he’d ever done anything in his life to deserve someone like you.

You hum into his mouth, rolling your hips once. His breathing stutters as his first instinct is to lift toward you. At first, he wants to stay like this, you clinging onto him like you’d be lost without him, but when you grind down a second time, he feels a twitch in his pants.

It’s been over a week since the last time he’s been inside you thanks to his schedules. And now you’re on top of him, wearing his favorite dress of yours, and kissing him like you’ll never be able to feel him again after tonight.

He’s tired, but he’s never too tired for you. Brushing your hair away, he leans down to kiss your neck, licking the expanse of your soft skin. Your pulse thunders beneath his tongue, and he has to fight the urge to bite down.

Touching you like this is different when he knows he’ll never lose you. You’re his forever.

His lips press against the sensitive spot below your ear, and the short moan escaping you just about sends him up the wall. When he pulls away to get a good look at you, your eyes are dark, lips already swollen from the way he kissed you.

He tries to catch his breath while he silently asks you if this is what you want. You nod, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Standing, he lifts you up until your legs are secure around his waist, and he grabs your ass with one hand and the back of your head with the other.

Mouths attached, he doesn’t separate from you until he’s setting you down on his bed. He barely has time to appreciate the candles you lit in here, too, the soft scent of vanilla flooding his senses. You already try to push his T-shirt up, anything to feel his skin on yours. He obliges, pulling it over his head before returning to kissing you like his life depended on it. When your hands find the button on his jeans, he grabs your wrist.

“Patience, baby.” Chenle runs his fingers up and down your thigh. “We have the rest of our lives. Let me take my time with you tonight.”

Just like that, you’re putty in his hands. He smirks at the realization. Sneaking his touch up your leg, the hem of the dress moves to accommodate him. He stops when he feels the lace of your panties.

“Did you dress up for me twice, sunshine?” he hums.

“Always,” you say, shamelessly staring at his lips. “Do you love me, Chenle?”

His whole body vibrated from those words. They made him feel at a frequency he hadn’t quite reached yet, and all he wanted to do was rip that damn dress off.

“More than anything.”

He can’t really say it’s ‘like second nature’ anymore. There’s nothing second about it. This is you. Anything to do with you is first nature, no matter what it is. His world revolves around you, everything he does is based on what you want, and he wouldn’t change that in any way.

“Show me,” you whisper, so intoxicating he almost crumbles to his knees right in front of you.

How embarrassing that all it takes is two words to have him give in to you. He’s straining against his pants now, his cock aching to be free and buried inside you.

“Don’t worry. I will.” He kisses you again, soft and sweet like his hand isn’t so, so close to your dripping, eager core. Heat radiates from you, and all he wants is to be consumed by it.

He drags your panties down your legs, nails gently scratching your skin on the way down. Your chest rises and falls quickly as you try to regain your breath, but he loves the way you’re so desperate for him. The way you want him just as much as he wants you.

He doesn’t want to be patient anymore. Every cell in his body is urging him to connect with yours, but he wants to take care of you. That side of him always wins, otherwise both of you would probably be done already.

His finger dances along your entrance. He inhales sharply as your wetness coats his skin. You move your hips toward him, practically begging him for stimulation. He teasingly nudges your clit, pleasantly surprised by the way your body jolts.

Mouth brushing yours, he takes the second of distraction to slide two fingers inside you. As your lips part to release a moan, he mirrors the action, eyes fluttering shut as he slowly, slowly thrusts his hand.

Your walls squeeze so hard, he curses. He could fuck you a thousand times, and you’d still be as tight as you are right now. His heart goes straight into overdrive, but all the blood in his body is shooting down to his cock. He’s painfully hard, rocking back and forth gently.

He kisses you, lips working against yours in a perfect harmony. Your sounds are his favorite. He loves knowing it’s him making you feel this way, that he has the power to make your knees weak and your pussy throb.

He lets out a moan when he scissors his fingers, trying his best to prepare you. God, you’re so warm and wet and tight, he isn’t sure if he’ll be able to last long tonight. His pace quickens, sounds of your slickness filling the room.

You call out his name, back arching as you grasp desperately at his shoulders. He leans in and kisses your cheek, making sure to press his palm into your clit every time he’s knuckle deep. 

“You’re perfect, baby,” he whispers with his lips against your ear, voice rough. “I love you so much. So fucking much.”

You tense, pussy clamping down hard on his fingers as your hips buck. He swears he can see the pleasure running up your spine in the way you arch and shake. Your nails dig into his shoulders, but he’s not in the right mind to care. Your mouth opens, sounds pouring out as you finish. He loves you all the time, but one of his favorite looks on you is when he watches you orgasm—your face so overcome with pleasure he caused…he would never get enough of it.

He keeps moving until he’s sure you’ve come down from your high. When he brings his fingers up to his mouth to suck your juices off, you watch longingly, the dark look in your gaze enough to have his cock twitching in his pants.

You slide off the bed, forcing him to take a couple steps back. He’s not sure what you’re going to do at first. Your struggle to reach your zipper, and as much as he wants to bend you over with the dress still on, he wants to be gentle with you tonight. He doesn’t get to make love to you often, and that’s all he’s going to do tonight.

Instead of watching you attempt to reach it, he turns you around and pulls you to him until your back is against his chest. His hand is splayed out across your stomach, holding you so you feel how hard he is.

“I’m going crazy,” you mutter, dropping your head back. “I need you so bad.”

He moves your hair out of his way, kissing the base of your neck quickly before he unzips you. Moving slowly on purpose, he lets his finger drag along your spine on the way down. You shiver, pushing yourself back into him.

“I’m gonna make love to you.” He finally lets himself bite down on your shoulder as he nudges the straps down. “For the rest of our lives. Nobody but me.”

“Nobody but you,” you respond, allowing the dress to pool at your feet.

He turns you around, hands immediately finding your ass and squeezing it. Within seconds, he has your bra unclasped and across the room. “So beautiful.”

When your hands find his jeans, he doesn’t stop you this time. You push them down his legs, desperate to have him inside you. Once his jeans are off, you palm him through his boxers, and he needs you so badly, that simple touch almost finishes him off. That would’ve been embarrassing.

He takes off the remaining fabric separating you two before leading you over to the bed. You lie in the middle, and he climbs on top of you. He kisses you passionately, tongue already dancing with yours, both of you more than ready. His cock is so hard, he’s only half convinced he won’t cum as soon as he’s in.

He nudges your clit with his leaking tip, moving down to your entrance to apply just enough pressure before pulling away. You whine, desperate for more.

“Chenle, please.”

His head dips down as he continues teasing you, wrapping his lips around your nipple. You whimper, running your fingers through his hair. Having you so desperate for him makes him want to give you everything you’re asking for, but something makes him wait.

“Please,” you cry out, lifting your hips up. “Need you.”

He’s ready to fall apart from you words alone. Pulling away from your chest, he reaches down to line himself up with you. He watches you closely as he pushes his throbbing cock into your quivering pussy. Your eyes roll back as you arch into him.

Your walls swallow him, velvet clamping down on him. He clenches his jaw as he bottoms out and fists the sheets next to your head.

“So perfect,” he whispers, kissing your jawline.

One of his favorite things about you is how unafraid you are to look at him. Pleasure weighs on your eyelids, and you try your best not to close them, but even like this, you never look away.

He’s fully inside you, his cock seated within your fluttering walls. The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm you, so he gently rocks his hips to help you adjust. He kisses you everywhere he can reach.

“You always take me so well,” he praises you, nipping the base of your neck.

He’ll never get over how perfectly he fits between your legs, like this space was made for him.

“Move,” you tell him, smacking his shoulder.

He lets out a soft chuckle, but lowers his mouth to yours as he starts a steady pace. You squeeze him so tight, it’s like your body doesn’t want to let him out of you. He pulls out until his tip is barely inside, and then pushes back in just as slowly. It wreaks havoc on your body, your wetness squelching every time he moves.

He wants you to feel all of him. Feel the entirety of his cock rubbing your walls with every thrust.

Somehow, it’s hotter this way. A thin sheen of sweat covers his skin as he takes his time with you. Sure, he gets sweaty when he fucks you, but nothing compares to the close intimacy of love making—his chest brushing against yours with every thrust, long, sweet moans filling the otherwise quiet bedroom.

“You sing so pretty,” Chenle mutters, tonguing the sensitive spot below your ear. “You like the way I feel?”

Before he can even process what you’re doing, you wrap your legs around his waist and roll until you’re on top of him. He’s flat on his back, eyes flitting along your body like he hasn’t had a real chance to see it yet.

Candle light illuminates your skin, and the sight makes his cock twitch. He runs his hands along your sides, squeezing your hips.

Chenle likes being in control. He likes guiding you in a way that has you both in shambles by the end, and he truly underestimated how beautiful you’d look on top of him. You lift up, teasing him as slow as he was moving with you, but between the sight and the feeling, he feels an all too-familiar tingling sensation at the base of his length.

It’s too soon for him, so he decides to tug you down, holding you there while his eyes close and his head thuds against the mattress. He doesn’t need to say a word to you.

“Chenle.” You stroke a hand down his chest. “It’s okay. You don’t need to hold back for me.”

“Just…need a second.” He gulps.

When he finally catches his breath, he sits up, chest pressing against yours.

“This was supposed to be about you,” he says, moving back slightly to fit his hand between the two of you. “Showing you my love and everything.”

He finds your clit with his thumb, staring at you intently as your wetness makes it easy for him to rub circles. His other hand still firmly grips your waist, which only allows you to squirm instead of bouncing on him like you crave to do.

“I need to move,” you whimper, grinding down. “Please.”

He nods, loosening his grip on you. You brace yourself on his shoulders, finally taking his cock the way you want it. His nails dig into your thigh while he continues his work on your bud, and it only spurs you on. You move faster, no doubt trying to chase your orgasm.

His moans get louder, matching yours. If his hands weren’t so occupied, he’d want to squeeze your ass or tweak your nipples. Anything to bring you higher. He changes the patterns his thumb rubs, and it’s like a jolt of electricity runs through your body.

You curse, dropping your head on his shoulder as you nod. “Don’t stop, Lele.”

With both of you hanging so close to the edge, he waits until you’re sitting back down on his cock to buck his hips up. He doesn’t want to finish first, but he’s so close, all the warning signs of his impending high are getting far too real.

“Gonna cum,” he tells you, releasing your thigh to grab your ass.

Your walls clamp down on him hard, a long, pleasured sound escaping you as you grind down on him. Back arching, your head falls back. Your orgasm hits both you and Chenle like a freight train, and within seconds, everything inside him explodes, and he’s spilling his cum deep inside you while telling you over and over again that he loves you.

You crumple into his chest. He runs his fingers through your hair, whispering praises to you between head kisses.

“I’m gonna lay you down, sunshine,” he says.

You nod, and he turns you so he can put your back on the mattress. He carefully pulls out of you, putting his boxers back on before going into the bathroom to grab you a towel. This is one of his favorite ways to see you. Your eyes are closed, hands on your cheeks. You look like he’s fucked all the energy out of you, and he loves that he has the capability to do that.

He cleans you up, then grabs a clean pair of panties for you and one of his T-shirts.

“I have an idea,” he says.

“What is it?” You wrap your arms around him.

“You pick whatever movie you want, and I’ll go warm up your dinner?” He raises his eyebrows at you.

You fake a gasp. “Are you saying you’re going to feed me in bed?”

“After all of that, I’d agree to just about anything you want.” He chuckles when you shove his shoulder. Grabbing your hand, he twirls the band on your finger. “Wait here for me?”

When he walks out of the room, he stops at the doorway to watch you excitedly lunge for the remote. It doesn’t take long for him to warm up the food, turn off the lights, and blow out the candles in the kitchen.

The rest of the night is spent with the two of you sitting against the headboard, laughing along to your favorite movie while eating your favorite takeout. So many thoughts have come and gone from Chenle’s brain in the past couple days alone, but he’s more than happy he gets to sit here with you every night for the rest of his life.

He’s lost in your laugh and the way you smile at him and how you make his heart race with the simplest things. None of the other members knew about the ring he bought you, but he’ll tell them soon.

After the food is gone, Chenle cleans it up. There’s still half a movie left, so when he gets back, he pulls the comforter back so you can cuddle up to him for the remainder. Even though the candles have long since been put out, vanilla still clouds the air.

“Love you,” Chenle whispers, kissing your temple.

“Love you, too.” You sigh in content, resting your head on his chest.

He knows that means you’re only seconds from sleep, and he rubs your arm soothingly. The movie continues to play, but neither of you are paying attention anymore—you’re asleep, and Chenle’s thinking about what kind of wedding dress you’ll wear.

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

[Robin scrambled over the back of the sofa and wedged himself beside Oscar, absently watching TV. Part of him hoped his father wouldn’t wake, but he was a notoriously light sleeper so the chances were slim. Sure enough, Oscar stirred, sleepily wrapping an arm around his son with a cosy hum] Oscar: Mmh-.. what time is it? Robin: I don’t know. Oscar: Late, then… [Robin shrugged a shoulder, the steady rhythm of his father’s heartbeat soothing his frayed nerves; he wished they could just stay like this forever-.. Oscar’s breathing softened as he threatened to drift off again though, reminding Robin why he’d clambered out of bed in the first place] Robin: Papa.. can I ask you something? Oscar: Anything. [Robin held his breath, readying himself for the inevitable barrage of Oscar’s unpleasant memories] Robin: Can you tell me the truth about what Larry said? I asked grandma, but she made me promise I’d ask you too-.. that you’d explain it better than her. Oscar: Is that what you’ve been thinking about this whole time? Robin: I don’t want you to die again… Oscar: I’m not going anywhere, I promise. Robin: You can’t exactly promise something like that. Oscar: I promise I’ll try my best not to, then. Robin: You still think about that sorta stuff though, don’t you? How do you know it won’t happen again? [Oscar sighed as he righted himself and settled Robin atop his knee, wondering what on earth Sidney had told him] Robin: She said you knew the risks-.. why’d you do it? Oscar: I wasn’t thinking straight-.. bit off more than I could chew. I was in a pretty bad place at the time. Robin: Why? Oscar: I like to keep things to myself, but it doesn’t do you any favours; I used to use all that nasty stuff to bury my feelings, to numb the pain it caused me to keep it all locked up n’ keep going. Robin: But everyone has secrets, don’t they? Oscar: They do, the fewer the better though-.. I think you’re as bad as me for bottling stuff up, but it’s so important to talk about things n’ let people help, ‘cause otherwise you’ll just end up finding unhealthy ways to cope instead. Robin: So, it happened by accident? Oscar: Yeah-.. it was pretty scary, to be honest. Robin: But it definitely wasn’t on purpose? Oscar: Sometimes I figured it’d be easier, but I didn’t want to die, no. Robin: I don’t want you to either, not ever. Oscar: It’s normal to be frightened of losing the people you love. Robin: Really? Oscar: Yeah-.. I used to worry about my grandad dying when I was your age. Sometimes it’d randomly pop into my head and I’d wonder what I’d do without him n’ get all pissy with everyone ‘til I could be alone, then I’d cry about it. [Robin felt a twinge of sadness yet smiled faintly, feeling slightly less weird for worrying so excessively] Robin: Sorry I asked grandma first… Oscar: It’s alright, being curious is normal too. [Oscar squeezed Robin tightly, semi-wishing he’d explained a little sooner; he was so mature for his age sometimes] Oscar: I’ll never ever be upset with you for asking questions, okay? There’s nothing you can’t talk to me about. Robin: I didn’t want to make you remember. Oscar: The past is what makes us who we are, buddy-.. I just hope I’ve made enough mistakes for the both of us…

[maxsimagination]

The world needs more Claudia Pina content so I’m requesting literally anything for her. Maybe like she gets hurt in a game or something and ends up super pissy about not being able to go out and do stuff and see everyone at trainings and stuff so reader realizes that and has to comfort her.

𝙢𝙞 𝙗𝙚𝙗𝙚 - 𝙘.𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙖

warnings: grumpy claudia, injury

------

the moment claudia went down i was the first one there.

it just happened to be the el clásico, the biggest women’s game in the spanish league. barcelona were winning 4-1 in the 80th minute, but not even five minutes later, everything went crashing down.

it was a corner conceded by real madrid, which mapi stepped up to take. we were all huddled around the net, some pushing and shoving to fight for the ball. when mapi kicked it, it curved perfectly, almost going straight into the net. it just needed the tiniest touch to send it in.

claudia was the one who made that header and scored the goal, but just as her head had made contact with the ball, someone else had crashed into her, causing her to fall sideways. her left knee was the one that copped the brunt of the fall, being whacked against the goal post and the hard ground at the same time.

her scream was enough to stop everything, and i whipped around to see her on the floor clutching her leg.

she was sobbing, tears flowing freely down her face, which was not a normal thing for claudia. the medics instantly rushing onto the field, barley waiting for the referee to call them. they rolled her over gently, careful not to jostle her leg too much. i was kneeling by her head, refusing to leave until i knew what was wrong.

the medics did a quick assessment to see whether she needed to come off, but it was a no-brainer at that point. she could barley move her left leg, let alone walk off the field, so the medics brought on a stretcher and placed her on it gently. she was escorted off the field and disappeared down the tunnel.

it hurt to see her go like that but i had to see out the game, for her.

the second that final whistle was blown, i was gone. running off the field and through the tunnel to find where they’d taken claudia. it didn’t take me long, there was only one medics room.

i opened the door and poked my head inside to see claudia on the bed, a brace on her knee.

“oh, mi bebe.” (my baby.) i walked into the room to stand beside claudia. she was clearly very upset at being injured yet again, after having just come back into the starting squad.

claudia didn’t say anything but i knew what she was thinking, what was going on inside her head. it was a terrible way to go down, and in el clásico of all matches.

—

three weeks after that match, and claudia was already up and walking around. it was more of a hobbling really, but if claudia heard you say that you wouldn’t live to see another day.

the first week or two was spent with claudia on bed rest, and by the third week i had given up on trying to get her to stay there.

“claudia!

please come and sit down!”

there was a grumble and some sounds of movement from the apartment before claudia hobbled into the living room and plopped down on the couch.

“you have to rest, claud. otherwise you won’t heal.”

“i don’t want to rest!

i’m stuck here, just waiting for you to come back from wherever you go. training, team bondings, hanging out. i’m stuck here, on bed rest, until you come home to help me with everything.

i’m getting lonely.”

there was a silence that hung in the room after claudia’s admission, it was almost a guilty silence. i felt bad for not noticing sooner, for doing something sooner.

“i’m so sorry claudia, i didn’t know. i promise i didn’t try to exclude you on purpose, i just had no idea that this was what you were feeling.”

i gave the girl a hug, claudia melting into my embrace almost immediately.

we sat there for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. i rubbed my hand up and down claudia’s back, attempting to soothe her.

“i promise i won’t leave you out again, mi bebe.” (my baby.)

[angelanderson]

I really want an Ellabs x reader fic of fem reader really needing comfort bc she's sad/overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from ellabs but obv they notice smth is off, so they tell her they noticed smth is wrong and she kinda breaks down at that, then they comfort her thru it, listening to her problems or insecurities n'stuff <33 Sorry if it's confusing and/or too long, u dont gotta do it but i'd appreciate it tons <33 (Im totally not self projecting)

ur projecting = supported. 🫢 100% sfw/comfort fic but still no men or minors. type of relationship between them is up to u! this ended up a semi- full length fic oops ? enjoy!

sometimes it just feels too hard. being the newest member in jackson means you feel like you have to prove your worth 24/7. and it’s exhausting, really. abby is just so strong, ellie has the best patrol work, and you? you feel… weak. you (falsely) feel like nothing you’ve done has proven you’re worth the space in jackson.

so when monday rolls around, you tell ellie and abby you have plans with someone else so you can just go home and hide. they don’t question that, why would they? tuesday you tell them you wanna go to bed early. okay, fine. but then it’s wednesday, and they’re starting to get that something is going on with you.

the worry starts to kick in wednesday night after maria tells the two women you asked to go home early, citing that you’re not feeling well. abby all but drags ellie to your tiny place immediately after hearing maria’s words. you always tell each other everything. so why didn’t you now?!

it’s easy to know abby and ellie are knocking at your door simply because of the sheer force of it. five minutes you try to pretend you’re not home. you don’t want them to see you in this state; you’ve been ugly crying for two hours now. however, they don’t give up. it’s not like you could expect anything else from them.

“baby, we know you’re home. let us in, yeah? we’re worried about you,” abby shouts out after another two minutes of knocking.

you respond back with a sickly voice from the sofa, “no, go away. ‘m busy.”

you can just feel the attitude enter ellie’s body now. you know how stubborn she can be. “no, we know you’re lying. i will find a way in if you don’t let us in within the next thirty seconds.”

you know she isn’t joking as you move to open the door. the sight of you upon opening the door is not a pretty one— your face is red, covered in tears. ellie takes a deep breath before she pushes in. she won’t let you shut them out anymore. abby shuts the door before them before heading you back onto the sofa with them. each other is on either side of you within the matter of seconds.

as per usual, abby is the first one to break the silence. “oh, honey, what’s going on? we could’ve helped you sooner if we knew.” the way she sounds sad just makes you feel worse.

insecurities once again bubbling over, you do the only thing you can think of: you try to shove abby away. being significantly stronger than you means it didn’t feel like a single thing. however, abby won’t put up with you lashing out right now. she knows you can be their sweet girl even in the toughest of moments.

ellie watches like a hawk as abby grabs both of your wrists to stop you from trying to push her away again. “just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can act out. are you going to be the big girl i know you are now? or do i need to keep you here?”

the concerned sternness of her voice makes you whimper in reply. fresh tears leak down your face as you try to find the words to explain. “i- i just don’t think i deserve to be here! everyone, especially you two, carry your weight around here! and what do i do? i’m just a stupid girl working in the bar!”

and, well, neither of them could say they were expecting that response. sure, you were newer to Jackson, but so was everyone at one point. you were also one of the most popular Jackson residents— everyone loves the energy you bring to the bar after a long day of work. so it just makes sense that both women are beyond shocked to realize that this is why you’re so down. how could you not know how loved you are here?

as yet another round of tears starts to fall, you feel abby’s big arms quickly pull you into her chest. your body starts to shake with each inhale as you start to sob into abby’s chest. while ellie rushes to rub your back, abby starts to tilt your head up so you can see her.

“angel, angel, no. let’s take some deep breathes and then we’ll all have a talk, okay?”, abby coos as she wipes away the falling tears.

ellie puts your right hand over abby’s heart when your breathing doesn’t start to slow any. she speaks in the softest voice she can muster up,“deep breaths with me and abby, baby. feel abby’s heart beat. we’re all going to just relax together before anything else.”

two minutes between your favorite people is all it takes to reduce you to just sniffles. you slouch back into your seat once you’ve finally caught your breath. you look up at abby and ellie with wet eyes before letting out a long sigh. no one is sure who should speak first.

ellie decides she’ll be the one to start, “it’s not true, you know? everyone here loves you. helping run the bar is important. you create a space where we can all relax for once. emphasis on the relax part.”

abby grunts in agreement with ellie. “you know ellie’s right, don’t you baby,” abby questions before looking over to ellie, “our favorite girl’s always making everyone feel happy, isn’t she?”

“for real though, you really do play a big part here. you know ellie and i started arguing less when you came around? pretty big deal there, you know. even joel commented on it,” the dirty blonde continues on the conversation.

and that makes you giggle for the first time all day. “even joel? really?” while you knew they had a previous history of more frequent fights, you didn’t know even joel was over it back then too.

“yeah, it’s really true,” abby starts before taking a breath to think about her next words. she exhales, “strength isn’t everything, you know? you add just as much as we do here. creating a space where people can relax while we live on this hell on earth is just as important as what we do. we all do the best here because we are better with each other. our system can’t function without others.”

you’re sure you’d be crying tears of happiness right now if you weren’t so exhausted from all your previous crying. your previous anxieties start to slip away as you start to truly internalize both of their words from today. you are important. you matter here. just like everyone else.

no one is given a chance to speak before you’re pulling ellie and yourself on top of abby. “i love you, i love you, i love you both,” you whisper out. “you’re right. i promise i’ll come talk to you next time i’m feeling down, okay? know you’ll make me say that part next!”

“okay smarty pants, you better. also, we always are, darling. love you the most,” teases ellie before she presses a kiss to the back of your head.

“hey! what if i love you both the most? then what?” you’re sure you can feel ellie roll her eyes as abby whines out playfully.

“okay, okay. how about we all love each other the most? can we just agree so i can drink some water now? my head is killing me.” a major post-crying headache has just started to come on for you.

ellie rolls her eyes playful at both of you. “i’ll get us all some water”, she commands as she walks to your kitchen, “and get comfy with abby. we’ll watch a movie, and yes, you can choose today.”

yay! end note to say ur important and i’m glad ur here + love that we all each add our own special things to this earth 🫂

[luffyvace]

Hello hope your doing well, I had this idea for a while now but I can please request Red hair pirates x male reader with heterochromia(serach it up if I don't what it is) where the reader is ashamed of their eyes and hides from the his new crewmates.

You also don't have to acppect my request. But anyways have a good day!💛

HIII I AM GOOD!! YOU? of course i accept your request anon!! :) dw i know what heterochromia is 😎😋

just for the record i’ve done research on the main 4 (shanks, ben, yasopp and lucky) in the past to get to know them better. so i’ll talk about them specifically and address the rest as “the crew” if that’s okay :)

THEY NEED MORE SCREEN TIME PLSSS

thank goodness for the one piece live action for a lot more gifs of all of them 😭💥

thank you so much for your request!! :) enjoy anon <3 and thank you for being patient!

so you just joined the red hair pirates recently

and you hide one of your eyes with an eye patch or your hair

shanks does wonder about it but doesn’t wanna bother you if your sensitive about it

bets it’s a scar

lucky and yasopp notice you hide your eye but they all have they’re personal reasons for stuff they do

so they assumed this was one of yours

ben thinks it could be a scar or you could just like to style your hair that way

but from the way it looks—how you try to keep it hidden so well and refuse to move it at all

he pretty much figures something happened

shanks and ben talk it over all the time

they never let you hear

just so your not uncomfortable

shanks will probably be the one to ask if curiosity gets the best of him

(it will)

”hey m/n, why do ya’ hide your eye?”

he asked it casually, drinking all the while

”oh..uhhhh, hide? i’m not hiding it..”

”so what do you call it?”

”it’s nothing shanks, i just…..like to style my hair this way”

”oh really?”

he pokes at you about it for a while

the other members kinda just watch as shanks playfully questions you

they figured he’d get it out of you

especially with his pushy yet teasing nature

and after a while…he did!

now idk how it went down since your so bent on not showing anyone

but!!

you slowly moved your eye patch/hair out the way to reveal your heterochromatic eyes!!

whoa!!

🤩

😗

we’re the reactions

it looked so cool?

so pretty?

wow it’s so unique i’ve never seen it in person?

woah how do you have two different colored eyes?

let me see!!

turn this way!

okay okay! stop pestering m/n!!

ben had to calm the rave about your eyes since he could clearly see you were a bit overwhelmed

everyone was admiring you and your eye

wondering why you didn’t show them sooner

which is what lucky asked

”i don’t know…i just..it’s shameful..my eyes aren’t even the same color!”

WHAT??

literally everyone’s reaction

wym 😐🤨

do you even know what your talking about right now??

ANYWAY

how’d you get it? we’re you born with it?

i don’t know how it works…how does it?

it’s kinda rare right?…wow…

everyone moves on because clearly your tripping

no but fr if you express your seriously upset about your eyes

the crew shares all types of embarrassing yet fun and heart warming secrets n stories to make you feel better

ben tells you there’s nothing to be ashamed about and that none of the crew would ever judge you for anything

”ain’t that right men?”

a loud uproar of “yeah’s” and cheers can be heard in agreement

yasopp definitely makes you laugh with some of his stories

turns out he’s just as goofy as his son

which he rants to you about said son for hours

makes you forget all about your troubles 😂

lucky and shanks lightly tease you for being so embarrassed over ‘somethin’ so silly’

but it’s all in good fun

in the end you all have drinks and get wasted

‘cheers to your eye! m/n!’

:)

KINDA SHORT BUTTTTT YEAH

i’m really happy with the ending i hope you like it too<3

[aeomianamoure]

— emo beomgyu as your comforting bestfriend <3

warnings <3: friends to lovers kinda? (beomgyu is in love with the reader) angst ): reader has bpd n coping with a bad breakup, cursing, reader has mixed feelings about breakup, symptoms of depression basically

a/n <3: im sorry this isn’t the usual posts i make im currently coping with a breakup and i was with my fp of over two years and im in desperate need of a way to cope that doesn’t involve self destructing please enjoy!!

it’s been about eleven months since your breakup with your partner and it feels like it’s been years since

you’ve decided to try therapy, you even begged for your partner to try again but no avail

you grew helpless, and overall just very depressed

you started spending all day in your room, ignoring your friends, family and even ignoring basic human needs since as eating causing a sufficient amount of weight loss

you didn’t understand why you were still so sad about this breakup, the relationship you had with your partner was dead anyway you guys were constantly on and off and always arguing it really made no sense to you why you’re still so upset over them

you began to have mixed feelings, constantly going back to black and white thinking on your ex wondering what hurt more? hurting with them around or hurting with them gone

you felt overdramatic but this was your fp for crying out loud, your first of everything you felt like you were never gonna get over it

you always knew that it your my bpd making you feel this way bc no normal person mourns a breakup like if the person died

you were absolutely spiraling during the day you felt infinite and felt like you were over your ex and then when you were alone at night and you’re mourning your ex and sobbing hysterically trying to get them back

everyone tells you that time heals and you’ll get over it but you’re really starting to believe that that won’t ever happen

you sigh in defeat as you begin to lay on your bed for the nth day in a row planning on bed rotting until you hear a faint knock by your bay window

groaning as you sit up weakly walking to the sound, you open the window your smiling fainting at the sight of your childhood bestfriend beomgyu you move out of the way to let him in your bedroom

“you doing okay? you haven’t been answering my calls or texts” the oreo hair colored older male asked you taking in the state you’re currently in

your lip wobbles at the question as you try to fight back sobs and falling into the boys arms but you fail miserably as you cling onto your friend sobbing in the crook of his neck scaring him a bit

“are you okay y/n-“ he blinks awkwardly hugging you

you sigh again “no im not okay, im still not over them”

beomgyu looks at you in pity, “how come? they treated you so shitty and it’s almost been a year y/n”

“i know that beomgyu but it’s so hard to get over them when they were my fp” you begin to explain to the boy as he nods

“i got that but you do realize throughout your entire relationship with them you were the glue holding the relationship together right? you were there for them when they needed it the most when they were depressed and they couldn’t even do that for you” the boy goes on a rant

“i know that but maybe i just need to get over this depression phase alone”

“do you hear yourself? no one deserves to go through depression alone!” beomgyu’s heart breaks at your statement as he hugs you tighter

you smile weakly moving to sit beside him instead of on his lap, “you really think so?”

“i know so” he smiles back at you

“hey are you hungry? i hear your stomach growling” beomgyu asked you looking at how much weight you’ve lost

you shake your head making the emo boy frown at you, “well that’s okay let’s just take this step by step okay? im sorry for not checking in on you in person sooner but i’m here now as a friend a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to” beomgyu brings you into a gentle embrace rubbing his fingers through your hair in attempt to cheer you up

beomgyu felt guilty for this but he was in love with you, has been since high school but he knew the timing wasn’t right and you desperately need a friend right now

even though it hurts him that you may never be over your ex at least he can be there for you rather than not have you at all

a/n: it’s only been a day since my breakup with my partner but i hope i get over them soon bc i know our relationship has been dead for months before the final breakup :( also sorry if this one shot isn’t so good ):

[dreamydrifts]

hear me out, a one shot of Charles x Reader based on Casual by Chappell Roan.

I personally having been listening to Casual on repeat for the pass couple days and I am in the mood to cry and be upset, idk why but I feel like this song is very charles coded, maybe that’s just me, but yeah that’s my idea!

-🦥

note 💌: anon you made me obsessed with this song, ever since you wrote this request, i started listening to it. i literally cried while making this, so i hope this feeds your delulu soul and heart, and yes the song is so charles coded🫶🏻

--------------------------------------------------------------

romeo, come and save me | charles leclerc

pairing: charles leclerc x reader | genre: estaished relationship | warning: angst, smut (a bit), minors dni | word count: 1.3k

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

Living in Monaco could be considered everyones dream, and it surely was yours. Every weekend, one of the drivers would host a part at their house, or in the biggest clubs in the country. That's where you found yourself talking to several of them and even hooking up.

Tonight you were in Charles Leclercs bed, with the pretext of "no attachments". You were moaning out his name as he was eating you out like there was no tomorrow. Gripping his hair as he continued to lick and suck. You knew he was bad for you, but the moment your lips touched, it's like everything you knew was forgotten.

The weekend after, he was eating you out in the backseat of his car, not even waiting to arrive home with you. You liked it, you couldn't lie, but you hoped that this time it wasn't just to help him leave the stress out before the race. He was like a drug and you were addicted to him. He was angry, you would help. He was happy, you would be there. But if someone asked what the two of you were, his answer would always be "We're just friends"

Sooner than you expected, you found yourself being in a relationship with him, but to say the least it didn't meet your expectations. Charles was distant and when he was there you barely talked. Now you were getting ready to have dinner with his parents. Finishing doing your hair, you walked into the living room to find him.

"Charles, do you really want me to go?" You asked seeing that he didn't even bother to look at you. He got up, kissing you without even looking at you. He kissed you, thinking that it would fix everything.

"I think it's better that we don't go..." You sight, pulling away, looking at him not feeling in the mood to lie to his parents about your relationship.

Charles sighed, he didn’t know what to do, he loved you. He just didn’t want to admit it. He looked at you, his eyes filled with emotion. Seeing that you didn’t want to lie he agreed. "It’s best we don’t go." He replied walking back to the sofa, picking up his phone and getting distracted by a text message from a girl.

The moment he looked at his phone, you knew that he was talking to another girl. Your best friend warned you about him, but you didn't listen, hoping that you can change him. You decided to go back to your room, not wanting to be in his presence longer than needed. Since the two of you decided not to go to his parents house, now you had to take your make up off which you have been working on for hours. Not only, he was talking to someone else while he was dating you, but he seemed happier.

He noticed that you were heading to the room, after a little debate with himself, he followed you, hoping you didn't know about the text message. "Where are you going?" He asked stopping you from going in.

"Home." You said looking away not wanting to meet his gaze. "I'm going home."

Feeling that this was about to be a discussion, he grabbed your wrist with one hand not letting you go. "No you’re not" He said his voice sounding firm almost angry but his eyes had a sense of hurt and sadness in them.

"Yes i am, i can't do this...anymore." You said sitting down on the couch. "I can't..." You keep looking away, trying to keep yourself from crying. "We act like we are strangers and then pretend to be in love for a minute...it's killing me..." Finally you let a tear escape your eyes.

He listened, his grip got tighter when he heard you wanting to go and when you started crying he pulled you into his arms hugging you tight. "You’re not going anywhere." He said, his tone now a bit kinder but a lot more protective as he brushed your hair from your face.

"Yes i am...we've been fucked up for a long time...this has to stop." You looked at him with a face full of tears, which was getting redder and redder. "All we do is lie..."

Even though he disagreed with you, he knew that it was the truth, but that didn’t mean he wanted to lose you. "No." He said shaking his head, still holding you tightly. He didn’t want to lose you at all. Even though you both were lying to each other he still felt as if you were the main purpose in his life. It was a selfish thought but he couldn’t help it.

"Yes..." You said looking at him and then away to wipe your tears. "We aren't even that close anymore..."

Charles stayed silent, he couldn’t handle the truth. All the times he avoided you, all the times he talked to another girl, all the times he lied all came crashing down on him and he wished he had done things differently. "We can fix everything." He said still holding you, not wanting to lose you, not wanting the person he loved to leave him. "I’ll be better I promise.."

"I know about her..." You said reffering to the girl he has been seeing and talking to for the past few weeks.

He froze, he felt a pang of guilt hit his chest. He didn’t expect you to know about her. After a few seconds he spoke not looking at you. "She was just a distraction.. she means nothing, I just wanted to forget things."

"Forgetting about us?...about me?" You looked away, not being prepared to face the truth. "Sure, she does...that's why you smile at her texts...are happy...unlike with me...when you act like i'm a ghost..."

He stayed silent, he didn’t want to answer that. He knew that when you talked about how he acted with the other girl that it was the truth. He knew that he acted different and happy with the other girl, unlike you. His gaze dropped to the floor. He was scared of losing you. "I’m sorry it will stop, I’ll stop" He said, trying to make it seem as if he really meant that, as if you could believe him.

"No, this has to stop..." You said showing to you and him, getting up finally ready to go to the room that the two of you share. One last time you wipe your tears, finally going upstairs.

He looked at you with sadness, he didn’t want you to go, but knew that he really messed things up a long time ago. He should have given his all to you, treated you better and been a better boyfriend. He tried one last time to get you to stay. "Please, stay."He said, trying his hardest to keep his emotions in check.

"Don't do this to me..." You said putting the clothes in the lagguage, wiping away your tears.

He sighed, he knew he didn’t have any other card to play. The moment you grabbed your things he knew that he really lost you, this time no excuses, no lies, no tricks, nothing could make you stay and he should have realized that sooner. "Fine, just tell me one thing." He said looking at you with sad eyes.

"What?" You looked at him with the lagguage in your hand, coming closer to him to hear him better.

He gulped, he hoped he was wrong but he had to ask the question. He didn’t want to but he just had to know. "Do.. do you still love me?" He asked, he didn't expect you to answer it honestly but he couldn't resist to ask the question. He knew that he was putting himself in a vulnerable position by asking such a bold question. He bit his lip out of nervousness.

"I never stopped." You whispered looking at the ground.

© DREAMYDRIFTS — do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[jihyocentric]

domestic nahyo! this is 5.1k words so have fun :)

-

as a result to finding out jihyo was expecting their second baby, and that everyone knew but her, nayeon spends an hour without talking to her wife.

nayeon would decidedly give jihyo the cold shoulder — if she wasn’t rashly dismissing the fact that that was jihyo she was trying to be upset with. jihyo, her wife, who nayeon couldn’t bear not to have in her arms to sleep every night, who gave her the most precious gifts she could have earned, and who nayeon has loved dearly with her entire being from the very moment they met until now.

as was foreseeable, nayeon couldn’t, and didn’t want to ignore jihyo, although jihyo did deserve silent treatment at that time. what even would nayeon do if she couldn’t talk? she wanted to talk more, talk to her wife about them, about their growing yet small family, and, wholeheartedly, she wanted to confess to jihyo what jihyo knew back to front: nayeon loved her. deeply, endlessly, without rest to her poor heart — which was about to burst upon receiving the news.

there was another baby on their way to their lives. an extension of the love nayeon has impulsively nurtured over the years for jihyo. so, how could nayeon ignore, or even be angry, when jihyo, despite hiding it from her, carried the extension of them? nayeon can’t resist her, and then all it takes for jihyo to make her speak again is the sweet promise that, if nayeon talked to her, she’d receive an even sweeter apology. of course jihyo appeals to nayeon’s weaknesses: her voice drips like honey against nayeon’s ear, and she’s beautiful. dolled up for nayeon, because nayeon deserved it. an hour without hearing nayeon’s voice had been just enough for jihyo to get ready for her.

moving backwards, to when nayeon had deafeningly rushed down the stairs with jisoo in her lap, nayeon was thrilled. she had cried and hugged jihyo tightly then, squishing jisoo between them, and only stopping when their angry baby (she definitely got that from jihyo, nayeon thinks) bit her. the pain was, in no way, felt by nayeon, who was numbed by sheer happiness. still, nayeon pulled away, only so to avoid jisoo from biting her again, as the grown baby’s tiny bunny teeth had already left scars on her before.

it was only after putting jisoo to bed that nayeon suddenly gave jihyo the cold shoulder.

“why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

jisoo is fast asleep at that time, and the both of them were ready for bed. words don’t instantly come out from jihyo at nayeon’s grumble of a question, instead she presses her lips to nayeon’s puffed cheek and straddles her, perching on her lap prettily, because that was what she had promised nayeon she would do. give her a sweet, sweet apology that would make nayeon feel everything — but betrayed.

“should i be honest?” jihyo’s head tilts slightly to the side, like the angle was better to inspect nayeon’s face. it wasn’t, jihyo convinces herself it was, but she was all but preening for nayeon, with her hair down and big, doe eyes staring into nayeon’s. both devilish desire and intrinsic innocence were in jihyo’s eyes — she was beautiful, even without makeup. especially without makeup. nayeon loved to stare at her bare face, instantly fixated on the mole at the center of jihyo’s nose.

“yes. why does everyone know? even soo knew before me!” nayeon grunts, irritated. or she pretends to be — she definitely does, jihyo knows, because nayeon’s hands on her waist are as soft as they always were, showing no signs of imminent anger. nayeon is exhilarated. “it’s not fair, ji, they got to meet our baby before i did.”

jihyo is left out of words then, taken aback. “im nayeon,” jihyo calls. she exhales, the corners of her mouth raising in a subtle smile. “you are so cute.”

as quick as a blink, nayeon forgets about the main topic of their conversation. “well, that’s obvious.” nayeon brags, her ego hitting the sky at jihyo’s smallest praise. instead of rigid, the way her body had stayed when she was aiming for a serious talk with jihyo, nayeon becomes soft, arms readily encircling jihyo’s thin waist. “you fell for me because i’m cute.”

“no.” jihyo promptly denies. that too, im nayeon, jihyo thinks. if jihyo wasn’t ready for something else, something other than the pillow talk — that could happen later — she would’ve told nayeon that she was, in fat, the most incredible person she’d ever met. not to feed nayeon’s already big ego, but because nayeon was, truly, the best person in her life. but the pregnancy hormones were starting to be a bother, and jihyo almost can’t hold herself back when nayeon frowns and her bottom lip sticks out. nayeon was so cute that it aroused her. “i fell for you because of this.”

nayeon groans, not expecting jihyo to palm her so abruptly over her pants. looking down, nayeon confirms that jihyo’s hand was there. she was feeling the tight grip well enough, but looking at it seemed to make the feeling even better.

“ah, that’s a lie!” nayeon pulls away, hands finding support on the mattress, right behind her. the way she poses makes jihyo fall again — because, as shameful as it was, she loved how convinced nayeon was, how much of a show-off she could be, charmingly arrogant on that matter. with a sly smile and her tongue between her teeth, nayeon looked like a dream. “you said ‘i love you’ way before you even saw it.”

“did i?” jihyo asks as she makes her way off nayeon’s lap. nayeon doesn’t have to answer her question, it is nothing but jihyo’s way to dismiss the sudden topic, but as jihyo kneels in front of nayeon, nayeon thinks about many ways she could proudly tell jihyo that her cock was great, but she had definitely fallen for her cuteness first.

the answer never comes out, because soon the very subject of their conversation is in jihyo’s mouth, making nayeon forget once again where they should have been going with their late night talk — what was once a discussion about pregnancy. it doesn’t matter anyway, because nayeon would rather have her cock sucked, keeping her eyes on jihyo’s with rapture as she received her deserved apology.

so far, their youngest baby was doing well, resting calmly in their warm nest, not giving jihyo any trouble. compared to when she was pregnant with jisoo, not a lot had changed. the baby growing in her womb didn’t seem like they were going to be troublesome, and jihyo hoped things stayed like that until the end — she was still prepared for further turbulences, pregnancy was unpredictable, but up to that point, both jihyo and their baby were getting along well.

with pregnancy, some things change for the better, while other things leave jihyo with mixed feelings. if nayeon was already overly protective over her, it gets twice as worse. it’s cute, jihyo wouldn’t contest, receiving nayeon’s calls randomly throughout her days, having nayeon constantly checking up on her, wanting to be sure that jihyo was doing well, that the both of them were doing well. at times it becomes a nuisance: when nayeon forgets jihyo had already been there and that she knew how to take care of herself.

‘so far, so good’ is what jihyo answers as a reflex when she is asked about her pregnancy. the things that bothered her, she kept to herself and to nayeon, though some of her worries were still be sealed for herself only.

it was still too early to tell if her body was going to change the way it did with jisoo. jihyo worried, not about the eventual stretch marks that would appear on certain spots of her body or the weight gain, but about how she would feel when those things became her reality again. she wasn’t prepared for another baby — her body was, jihyo had never felt more whole, sincerely fulfilled with her small family, but the pregnancy was still sudden, and jihyo still had a lot to think about her current situation.

it’s overthinking, jihyo knows, she should be happy, and she was happy. at the same time, small things about their routine start to bother her.

the first time it happens, jihyo is dressing jisoo up for a birthday party, while she herself is wearing what she deemed being rags. the twins had been invited by a friend, and the chances of them going without their best friend jisoo were shallow — it was even better if they could bring more kids, the parent organizing the party had told jeongyeon.

“baby,” jihyo calls, gentle as she brushed jisoo’s hair. to jihyo’s relief, jisoo enjoyed having her hair at a shoulder length, short enough for jihyo not to have a hard time brushing it, but long enough for it to be styled diversely. “will you want pigtail braids or buns?”

jisoo is teetering between jihyo’s knees, standing just like nayeon — unable to keep still. jihyo had tried to convince her to sit down on a chair, with the argument that it would be better for brushing her hair and styling it, but jisoo was full of energy early in the morning. she’d been babbling to jihyo about what she and the twins had been up to at school while still deciding if she wanted her mom’s lap or to stand up and keep swaying back and forth.

“buns.” jisoo answers shortly after being interrupted in her little vent about how kyungwan, no, wannie, had learned how to fish after a camping trip with his moms and beom, and that she wanted to learn too. “why don’t we go camping too? mama told me you used to do that a lot, but you never took me with you!”

jihyo laughs, sensing jisoo’s pout despite not being able to see her face. “we did. you were an even smaller baby back then.”

jihyo wonders if she should break it to jisoo that they couldn’t fish at all. maybe nayeon would attempt to learn if jisoo really wanted it, but there were other activities, easier ones, that jisoo could engage with when they were camping, especially now that she had grown. she’d grown only a tiny bit since they last went camping, but a considerable bit. enough to help on basic tasks.

“can we go again?”

jihyo frowns at what she’s looking at — she could have sworn she’d do a better job with the buns, but while one looked perfect, the other bun wasn’t coming out the way she wanted.

“we can, baby. i bet your mama wants to go too. it’s been so long,” jihyo sighs, knowing that she wouldn’t achieve perfection for as long as jisoo kept standing unsteadily. “can you sit on mommy’s lap, baby?”

jihyo eventually gets what she wants, and jisoo looks like the cutest baby jihyo had ever seen — and the fact that she was her baby had nothing to do with it. even jeongyeon melted when jihyo showed up at the party with jisoo, and she only didn’t squish jihyo’s baby and filled her with kisses because jihyo didn’t want jeongyeon to ruin her hard work.

nayeon wasn’t there with them because she had to work. it wasn’t often that jihyo got a lighter schedule than nayeon, and jihyo wasn’t acquainted with hanging out with other parents. not as much as nayeon was, at least. perhaps she should have let jeongyeon take jisoo along with the twins and avoided the party, because it’s then, when they’re already there, that jihyo realizes that all of the other kids’ moms were terribly well dressed for a kid’s party, while jihyo had barely any makeup on her face and wore the simplest clothes she could find.

that is not what jeongyeon pays attention to, or anyone else but jihyo.

how the moms holding their newborns looked pretty, dolled up even, when jihyo hasn’t thought about ‘looking pretty’ in a while. what shouldn’t be a problem becomes one when jihyo realizes it had been weeks since she last wore makeup, which was something she liked to do, but had neglected because her time was short. impulsively, she had been paying more attention to jisoo, nayeon and her worries to realize that she had been repeating a situation that had already happened — when was pregnant with jisoo.

jeongyeon’s voice takes her back to the party. jihyo, who once had been quiet and observant, stuck in her own thoughts, looks at her friend, who had made her a question.

“for how long do you think she is going to take that bunny everywhere with her?” jeongyeon sounds interestingly curious as she looks at jisoo, who was playing with the twins and the birthday kid.

jihyo’s worries are no longer there when she catches her baby with a concentrated frown, small knuckles squeezing the blue bunny hard by its ears. jisoo was starting to hate losing, indicating jihyo and nayeon’s failure as mothers on that matter, but she looked adorable when she was upset with her scores. memory games have never looked so thrilling as it did when jisoo was playing them.

jihyo smiles, both at jeongyeon’s question and because of jisoo. “until nayeon gives her another bunny.”

it’s christmas when the first week of jihyo’s fourth month of pregnancy is starting.

at the living room of the house of the ims, there was jihyo and jeongyeon, who were both taking care of the decoration. at some point, jeongyeon asks to see how her youngest niece, or nephew, was doing, and so there jihyo was: standing with her (nayeon’s) hoodie lifted up to her ribs, showing jeongyeon her growing (barely) tummy.

“it’s uncomfortably small.” jeongyeon rants, kneeling in front of jihyo, face to face with her bare tummy. she doesn’t touch it, instead inspects it, like jihyo had an odd irregularity, doomed to having small bumps during her pregnancies. the cooing makes jihyo embarrassed and her lower lip puffs out — out of everything jeongyeon could have brought up to poke fun at her, she uses the one thing jihyo can’t control. “are you sure they’re im nayeon’s baby? they’re so shy!”

 “did you come early to make fun of my bump again?” jihyo lets out a huff of an answer, covering her stomach again. she watches as jeongyeon gets up, with an annoying smile, and almost bites jeongyeon’s hand when she reaches for her head, patting it softly, proudly, tender in a way that makes jihyo lose the pout.

“that was one of my goals,” jeongyeon teases. she leaves one last pat at the top of jihyo’s head, like jihyo was a baby cat who had done an adorable thing and deserved praises and pets. she’s like that because jihyo is pregnant, surely. jeongyeon definitely wouldn’t be that soft otherwise. it was not like she found jihyo genuinely cute and deserving of such treatment. “i think you’re becoming an adult, park.”

jihyo crosses her arms under her chest, eyes narrowing as she studies jeongyeon’s face, searching for any hints of sarcasm.

“i’m 30.” jihyo replies, categorically. there is a box with the decoration left sitting on the ground. jihyo kneels and searches for tree ornaments inside the box, and soon golden and white decoration is suddenly thrown at jeongyeon. “do something useful, yoo jeongyeon.”

nighttime arrives along with sana and tzuyu, who were the last guests to make their appearance at jihyo and nayeon’s house.

they didn’t always have their friends around on christmas, but that year jihyo figured dahyun and mina would like to have them around at that date. with that, she also invited the rest of her friends. thankfully, nayeon was too busy with dahyun and mina’s baby to pay attention to the fact that she was, once again, in the same room as minatozaki sana.

“how can she be so calm with you?” dahyun lets out a frustrated noise. kazuha had been irritated since the night had arrived, refusing to eat but pouting at the discomfort of sheer hunger. not even mina managed to get her to feed and they were starting to worry, until nayeon became aware of their problem and solved it as easily as she did everything else.

“she just loves auntie nayeon,” nayeon brags.

nayeon is standing as she keeps kazuha held firmly with one arm, the other guiding a bottle filled with warm milk to the baby’s hungry mouth, cooing at the little sounds kazuha made of content, lips wide as she smiled. nayeon had missed that experience — she thinks about jisoo, remembering the time when jisoo was as small as kazuha, her chest burning when she realizes that she would soon have that again in her life.

“no, i’m serious, unnie, what did you do to make her like this?!” dahyun asks, almost desperately. kazuha looks at her mom while vigorously sucking the silicon material at the top of the bottle that replaced mina as a food source, unaware of dahyun’s frustration, enjoying being held by nayeon so much that she accepted the food.

“i’m just too good, hyunie.” nayeon boasts about her baby whisperer abilities, laughing when dahyun lets her body weight fall fully against the couch, releasing what would be the cutest ‘unnie!’ nayeon had ever heard if it wasn’t for jihyo. “all you need to do is hold her right. as a fluent speaker of the baby language, i can translate what this little girl was whining about to you earlier. it went something like this: ‘mom, quit being a dumbass and hold me like pretty auntie nayeon does!’”

mina laughs, resting on the couch next to dahyun — she’d been quietly watching their interaction. mina earns a frown from dahyun, and in order to make up for laughing at nayeon’s silly antics, she holds dahyun’s hand, kissing her temple softly after muttering a small apology.

“do you want to hold her?” nayeon offers before dahyun gets to sulk, despite not really wanting to let go of the baby in her arms. as kazuha was dahyun and mina’s, the question had to be made, but if nayeon could, she’d gladly borrow kazuha for until jihyo was in labor. 

“won’t it bother her?” dahyun asks, reluctant after spending minutes trying to get kazuha to feed. “she looks so peaceful.”

nayeon shakes her head. “she will be fine. come on, stand up.”

while nayeon busies herself giving mina and dahyun the ultimate baby guide, at another corner of the room, jisoo is distracted with jeongyeon, momo, tzuyu and the twins — much to nayeon’s relief, because jisoo could be jealous when it came to her or jihyo with other kids, unless they were interacting with the twins.

jihyo is talking to sana somewhere else, not joining the others, because sana had questions for her. they were mostly about pregnancy, like sana was trying to get her information from the best person, but jihyo was far from being an expert regardless of having had jisoo and being currently pregnant.

what was once an in-depth conversation about what pregnancy felt like and how it affected her physically turns into jihyo sharing worries about having a depressive episode again. with sana, jihyo can talk about it without being pushed to tell nayeon whatever she was feeling, unlike jeongyeon, who would make jihyo open up. jeongyeon would do it only for jihyo’s best, of course, but sana allows jihyo to talk before she gets to say anything, which jihyo appreciates.

“i’m trying to prevent that from happening,” jihyo explains, trying to find the right words to express what she felt. “i’m not bothered with anything right now, because this time i was able to detect my mistake soon. like, a couple of weeks ago i was getting lazy with things i like to do, so i watched out for that, and i’m no longer forgetting to take care of myself too.”

“so there’s nothing wrong, right?” sana asks, careful as if she was dealing with a bomb that could burst at any second. nobody except nayeon knew what it was like when jihyo was at her worst while pregnant with jisoo, but their friends knew that it had a lot of impact on her. so sana is careful because she’s afraid of the answer she could get. her kind hand squeezes jihyo’s shoulder, as if giving her support, encouraging her to talk.

“nothing is wrong.” jihyo replies, her answer carrying certainty, honest as she speaks. “it’s just hard to think about the past knowing it could happen again. i don’t want to go through that again.”

“you won’t,” sana assures. like a magnet, she hugs jihyo. it’s as protective as when she hugs tzuyu, because that was sana’s way to comfort people. jihyo nods in her embrace, trusting everything sana told her. “it’s normal to worry, but you shouldn’t keep thinking about that. just keep being jihyo and you will be fine. and talk to nayeon. always.”

“it’s hard,” jihyo lets out a whine of an answer. “she will be worried too.”

“that’s what a wife is for,” sana pulls away, with a smile on her face. “better than anyone else, you know nayeon would want you to share what you’re feeling with her. so do that.”

jihyo sighs in defeat, about to say something when she feels a pair of arms around her waist. it was nayeon, of course. jihyo knew by heart.

“do what?” nayeon asks, holding jihyo protectively in her arms.

sana bites her lip mischievously before answering. “leave you and marry me, im nayeon.”

nayeon frowns at that, attempting to let go of jihyo, but jihyo grips nayeon’s arms before she gets to intimidate sana. “jihyo!”

“sana, i think tzuyu is calling you.” jihyo says, ignoring nayeon’s irritated whine. sana winks over nayeon’s direction before she leaves, and only when she joins the other girls does jihyo lets nayeon set herself free. “she was just playing around. it’s christmas, don’t sulk, im nayeon.”

“you let her tease me but you don’t let me fight back.” nayeon mutters grumpily, circling jihyo’s waist with her arms again once jihyo turns around to face her. “you’re lucky i’m madly in love with you, or else i’d be hurt.”

“i am very lucky.” jihyo bumps her nose into nayeon’s. her arms found themselves wrapped around nayeon’s neck the moment she was embraced by her, like it was her body’s nature to be with nayeon in that way. “will you build gingerbread houses with me, unnie?”

nayeon feels like her heart wouldn’t resist and erupt in her chest the longer she stared at jihyo and her big, starry eyes, which blinked adorably to persuade her. the sweet question is followed by a word she hasn’t heard from jihyo in way too long. unnie. jihyo does that on purpose, in order to make nayeon susceptible to be easily manipulated, and nayeon doesn’t attempt to fight it.

“i’ll do anything with you, babygirl.” nayeon relents.

“unnie,” jihyo does it again.

it’s late then and their friends were already gone — nayeon had a hard time giving a sleepy jisoo a shower, and she only did it because jihyo wouldn’t let her baby sleep unless she was clean. as a reward for her hard work, nayeon able to join the jihyo in the bathtub.

jihyo’s back is against nayeon’s front. there’s a silly duck floating on the water of their bathtub because nayeon had mistakenly taken it to their bathroom instead of putting it somewhere else to dry. jihyo was entertained with the toy, so nayeon wasn’t bothered enough to take it out of the water, letting jihyo stare at it as she rubbed her tummy.

the warmth is comfortable — the water is warmer than nayeon expected it to be, and allowing her muscles to relax felt like a prize. having jihyo in her arms made it all better, truly the best alternative to taking a shower by herself.

none of them wanted to leave the cozy place and jihyo didn’t want to disturb their silence, but she wouldn’t be able to sleep unless she spoke to nayeon about a certain topic. so jihyo moves her hands to nayeon’s knees. she’d been sitting snugly against nayeon, between her legs and the tender touch makes nayeon lay a kiss over her head.

“unnie, we need to talk.”

nayeon sighs. the tone jihyo uses leads nayeon to think she might have done something wrong — it’s the same voice she uses when she has to talk to jisoo about her behavior.

“before you say anything, i didn’t mean to snub momo and jeongyeon’s house,” nayeon refers to when they were playing with shaped biscuits and candy earlier, building their gingerbread houses. “i know you don’t like it when i, uhh… teach? these things to jisoo. but they were making fun of our house too!”

 jihyo can hardly stop herself from laughing. what nayeon says takes her by surprise, as she didn’t remember nayeon saying or doing anything bad towards their friends — nayeon had just turned herself in, willingly. but jihyo doesn’t lose her focus.

“it’s not about that.” jihyo reassures. only then, jihyo notices nayeon had tensed up upon her call, because nayeon relaxes once she knows she’s not going to be scolded. “i wanted to tell you…” jihyo stops, and reformulates what she wanted to say. “share with you something that you should know.”

“is everything alright?” is the first thing nayeon asks, moving back just slightly to fix her posture. jihyo lays her head against nayeon’s shoulder, the position too comfortable for her to change it.

“mhm. it is. i figured i should tell you that i was feeling down recently,” jihyo continues. nayeon’s hand on her belly makes her feel safe to say anything — and it’s not like she’d ever not be safe with nayeon, but feeling nayeon that close, protecting her diligently, encouraged jihyo to speak. “i noticed that i was keeping myself busy with work, and jisoo, and you, so much that i was starting to stop doing basic things that i like to do.”

“baby,” nayeon says suddenly, tensing up again.

“it’s not what you’re thinking.” jihyo says in a hurry. she is forced to change her position to sit on nayeon’s lap, because that would be the only way she’d be able to look at her. there was nothing but care in nayeon’s eyes, jihyo observes as she fixes herself in a better position. “i’m talking to you about this because, in the future, i might forget that this pregnancy isn’t everything there is about me. i need you to check up on me, make sure i won’t go back to that place.”

nayeon nods, like she was letting jihyo know she understood her. nayeon was still concerned, her face no longer relaxed the way it was before. “are you sure that’s all?”

“that’s all.” jihyo answers sincerely. “nayeon, i don’t need you to worry.” warm fingers find themselves against nayeon’s neck, thumbs supporting nayeon’s chin, making nayeon look at her. “what i need is for you to make sure i won’t stop being me.” jihyo sighs, frustrated when she can’t find better words to tell nayeon to take care of her. “just… be im nayeon and make sure i’m park jihyo.”

“im jihyo.” nayeon corrects.

“im jihyo.” jihyo gives in. “do you understand what i’m trying to say?”

nayeon knows exactly what jihyo is trying to communicate to her — she will still be worried, that’s how nayeon was when it came to jihyo, but she wouldn’t let her worries consume her. that was just what nayeon was. she made things easy, which was exactly what jihyo needed in her life. someone to look at things from a brighter perspective.

nayeon lets out an agreeing hum. “do not worry. praise the babygirl. encourage her to do the activities she likes.” she makes a list, counting on her fingers the tasks she had to complete starting from that moment.

“that’s a way to put it.” jihyo smiles softly. “i love you, nayeon.”

“not more than i love you.” nayeon mutters, inching forward to kiss jihyo’s lips — she knows that once jihyo pulls away, they’d argue about who loved the other more, so nayeon makes the kiss longer, drowning in the sweetness of jihyo’s lips when there’s nobody (but a goofy yellow duck on the water) to witness it.

“minji.” nayeon says, suddenly, when they’re in bed and ready to bid their goodbyes to christmas. “i want our baby to be called minji.”

jihyo shakes her head in disapproval, her head against nayeon’s chest. the baby bump hardly prevents her from cuddling snugly with nayeon — what jeongyeon liked to constantly remind jihyo was true, it was small, barely noticeable, but the baby was healthy regardless of that.

“no. we already have a ‘ji’.” jihyo argues.

“but i like the ji!” nayeon whines. “how about yunjin?”

“we can have the yun, but not the ji again!” jihyo says, fatally determined. “what about yuna?” jihyo suggests. “wait… why are we fighting over girl names if you wanted a boy?”

“we need to think about two names. so if they’re a girl, i want them to be called either minji. or yunjin. oh, how about kyujin? i like that one! there’s also jiwoo…” nayeon rambles as fast as she possibly can, excited with the idea of collecting ‘ji’s in her life. “if they’re a boy, his name can be just jin! or jinyoung, if we want something more elaborated. woojin is another option…”

jihyo yawns, giving up on her attempt to keep up with nayeon’s blabber.

“now you’re just copying my name. and jisoo’s. jiwoo? be a little original, im nayeon.” jihyo mumbles, closing her eyes after giving nayeon her last reply.

“but i don’t like the yeon variants.” nayeon grumbles, fingers lost in jihyo’s hair as she caressed her scalp. she pouts, knowing it would be hard to convince jihyo to name their baby with the ji as an integrant syllable, but she wouldn’t give up. “just think about how cute it would be if we had a baby ji. you’re my jiji, jisoo is a mini ji, and the baby… are you sleeping?”

nayeon pokes at jihyo’s waist, receiving no answers from jihyo. all nayeon hears is the sound of her calm breathing, indicating that jihyo had, in fact, fallen asleep while she was talking to her. nayeon’s pout is even bigger then — she feels like jihyo is betraying her when jihyo doesn’t hear the things she wanted to say until the end, though it was only her fault, because she could never be straightforward, and jihyo was the only person patient enough to listen to her.

nayeon decides that she’d bring the conversation to the table again once they woke up, committed to the idea of naming their second baby after the first syllable of jihyo’s name.

[tragedybunny]

To Make You Feel My Love - Chapter 1 of 3

༺Summary༻

Astarion and Serafina continue to pursue their relationship as the confrontation with Cazador looms, and then during the fallout afterward. A couple of chapters that explore their deepening bond and their struggle to build "something real".

༺Pairing༻ Astarion x Serafina (Female Tav/OC)

༺Warnings༻ Angst, Hurt / Comfort, Attempted Sex

༺Word Count༻ 2776

༺A/N༻ Another fic featuring my Tav as a name character! Very excited to share more of Serafina. Thanks to my lovely friend @icybluepenguin for the beta and support!

Read on AO3

Astarion was a wretch, and he knew it. He was finicky, selfish, obnoxious, and difficult. But he also knew so much of that was because of life under Cazador. It was who he was outside of that life that he didn't know. He wasn't sure how to find out, either, or how much he wanted to. 

He’d expected it to be asked of him though, that eventually he should find a way to make himself more palatable. Serafina never did though. Sometimes it stuck in his throat like bile how kind she was to him. She never asked anything of him, only gave and gave, while he took and took, with gentle words and warm smiles until sometimes he worried there would be nothing left of her. 

It drove him mad, for several reasons. First, he was convinced that one day that fount of affection and understanding would run dry. She couldn’t love him as he was forever. Then there was the sensation that he somehow needed to repay it, even if it was never asked of him. Maybe it would balance the scales, maybe it would keep her from tiring of him. No matter what she claimed, she must expect something of him. Finally, and most strangely for him, he wanted to repay it. Didn’t she deserve it, after everything? And she most assuredly needed it. 

Despite her protests that everything was always fine and that she didn’t need anything extra, he knew different. It was ridiculous. He’d seen her going through days with tired eyes, giving smiles that only lasted as long as they needed to, and the way her shoulders would slump when things would upset her, but she wouldn’t say anything. 

Like earlier today, when he’d opened his mouth and ruined everything again.

Flowers. That’s how it had all started. They’d passed through a garden in full bloom, and words had tumbled out of him before he could think. 

“Bright and gaudy.”Inane prattle, complaining about something that had no effect on him simply because he could. He just had to lash out at something.

Cazador was looming over him, the plan already in place to take the fight to him sooner rather than later. His siblings' surprise visit the night before had spurred that decision. Fear gnawed its way into his mind, biting and clawing, ripping away the fragile sense of safety and comfort he'd built.

That didn't change the fact that when Karlach's elbow had collided with his ribs, he'd looked over to see Sera's shoulders drooping and her mood soured. How could he forget about one of the few things she’d let slip about her home. She couldn't reveal much about her past thanks to that pesky warlock pact, but there had been a garden of some sort. And he'd managed to shit on what she had. He was already terrified and he felt himself spiraling back into the thought that he didn’t know why she bothered with him. 

“What should I do?” he whispered desperately to Karlach.

She shrugged. “I don’t know, buy her flowers or something?” 

Which is how he’d ended up here. Everyone had made their way back to the Elfsong  but Astarion had excused himself with a hasty lie about needing to think. Sera’s brow had crinkled in concern for him and he felt a twinge of guilt when he pulled her close and gave her a quick kiss. He’d make it up later, or he planned to anyway. 

But now he was stuck, wandering around this shop that was an overwhelming riot of color and scents. Something about cut flowers didn't seem to fit, and he'd been paralyzed in front of the rows and rows  of them for minutes. They looked nice enough, but they wouldn't last. His gaze wandered to the other side of the shop through the crowd. Maybe a potted plant…?

“Can I help you?” A bubbly elf with blonde hair and tan skin appeared beside him. 

Her gold eyes looked up at him with such sincerity, he almost sneered. As if this shop contained some life changing secrets and not flowers.

“I…” He cleared his throat- he was not lost, just thinking. “I’m looking for something for my partner. Something that will last longer than flowers in a vase.” There, that wasn’t so bad, he could do this. 

“Of course, let me show you our selection of potted plants,” she said, gesturing enthusiastically. “Can you tell me a bit about them?”

“She, well, she… ” Why was this so hard? He felt so much for her, but speaking of her made him feel awkward and inadequate. She was the first warm light of morning washing over him and a comforting touch in the night. She was a hasty kiss after a hard won fight, and lighthearted laughter around the campfire. “She’s…”

“Newer relationship?” the elf said with a light giggle that made him want to reach for a dagger. The insinuation that he knew nothing about Sera was clear. 

“What does it matter anyway,” he hissed, drawing looks from the other patrons. 

The girl was thrown off balance by his sudden aggression and her gleaming smile faltered. “It might help to pick out something she’d like, but you’re free to browse for a while.” Turning away, she disappeared into the crowd, leaving him to fend for himself.

He almost went after her, but stubborn pride rooted him to the spot. With resolve, he eyed the shelves in front of him. Rows of bright-colored, glazed pots gleamed in the sunlight streaming in from the large shop window. Inside each one, a scrap of greenery he knew nothing about. Many had small blooms, some sported colorful leaves, and none of them were the right thing.

He began to sink into despair. This whole thing had been a stupid, impetuous idea. “Buy her flowers.” Apparently he couldn't even figure out the most basic of gifts for her. He'd just head back to the Elfsong, empty-handed, another day the scales between them were left uneven. If he just left now, it would be less time wasted. 

Just as he turned to go, it caught his eye. A delicate plant in a pot glazed in the colors of twilight, with a few small, blue blossoms. He stepped closer, drawn to it. The rich blue was the same color as Sera's eyes, he was sure of it. But it was tiny, like it would hardly survive the trip across town if the wind picked up. 

“Find something?” The irritating clerk was back, somehow having snuck up on him.

“That one,” he pointed. 

“Oh, the little forget-me-not!” 

Astarion cringed at the name as she reached for it. 

“Do you know the origin of it?” 

Of course not. It was a flower and before now, he wasn't exactly able to frolic in the sun and enjoy them. And it wasn’t like they were part of Cazador’s decor scheme. 

“No,” he said through gritted teeth, sure he was about to hear it. He should have just stolen it. 

“Humans didn’t come into being until long after elves. During those times, elves only coupled with one another, only knew lovers that would live as long as they did. But, eventually, an elven man met a human woman, and they fell deeply in love. The elf stayed by her side, even as she grew old and died, having only lived a fraction of his life. He buried her in winter and when he returned to her grave in the spring, he found these beautiful blue flowers had grown up over it. They were nothing like anything that anyone had ever seen before. They spread from her grave throughout the land, so that wherever he went, he was reminded of her. In that way, they earned the name forget-me-not. What a beautiful tragedy- a love so true, but one will live without the other for so long.” She sighed dreamily after she finished. 

Astarion swallowed the lump in his throat. “Right, well, that's lovely and all, but I have somewhere to be.” 

The elf huffed and silently led him back to the counter. He'd pay double if it meant she'd let him go without more chatter. 

“Oh, one more thing,” she said, taking his money, “this can be planted outdoors. Perhaps if you and your lady love have a place of your own someday.” 

Those words swirled around and around in Astarion’s mind as he gingerly carried the little plant back through the streets to the Elfsong. “A place of their own.” As if that was something he could even begin to aspire to. But why not? Why couldn’t he and Sera have a home of their own, and a  happy, beautiful life? Because that wasn’t him. Who would want a vampire for a neighbor? And why would she want a lifetime with one?

He took a deep breath and tried to silence those thoughts. Sera loved him. He knew that was true, even when it was hard to remember. He just had to keep it that way. His eyes glanced down to the plant nestled in his hands. It seemed a silly gesture in that light, a plant in exchange for her love. The whole thing was a bad idea. 

He should have done better. 

When he finally made it back, the rest of the group was eating dinner in the raucous common room of the inn. He’d never admit it, but sometimes he missed the quiet nights under the stars. For two hundred years, he’d known this type of hustle and bustle; its opposite had grown on him. Not to mention, it had given the two of them so many calm nights to get to know each other. A thought that caused his chest to tighten; he’d thrown so many of those nights away with his “perfect plan”, time he’d never get back. 

Cutting through the fringes of the room, he avoided the group, not wanting a public display of what was likely the most ridiculous gift he could have thought of. Natural stealth let him blend into the crowd and slink his way to the stairs. Bad luck put Jahiera right in front of him. 

“Bat pup, what are you up to, creeping around like this?” From her tone, Jahiera was only really half suspicious. 

“I…”  He glanced down at the plant his hands were protectively wrapped around. 

Jahiera’s gaze followed his. “I never took you as one for greenery, Astarion.” 

“It’s not for me, ” he blurted, cringing inwardly. What if she told someone? All of them? Would they get a laugh out of the vampire trying to play the lover?  

She lifted an eyebrow and smiled a small, knowing smile. “I see. Should I let her know you’re waiting upstairs?” 

For some reason lately, Jaheira had started to behave with the infuriating air of someone older, and wiser around him, despite the fact that  he had years on her. It was almost maternal in a way, and usually grated on him to no end. But today, he was quietly relieved to have her step in.

 “If you must interject yourself.” He shrugged, struggling to put the mask of calm indifference back on. 

“I think I will let the attitude slide for tonight, Astarion. Mayhaps tomorrow I will box your ears for it.” 

He opened his mouth  to snap back at her but she cut him off. 

“And I’ll expect a thank-you when it’s all said and done.” 

“Yes, Mother,” he sighed dramatically and began to walk away. 

As soon as he was sure he was out of sight, he hurried his pace, not wanting to be caught out in the hallway when Sera came upstairs. With the door to the common room shut behind him, he took up position in their shared corner. Two beds and a folding screen, the most privacy they could manage right now. Another reason to miss the outdoors. Even if sleeping on the ground had been hellishly uncomfortable, the tent had walls at least. 

It always struck him to see Sera’s things mixed in with his. A physical reminder that she had chosen this, him, even after his confession. And it gave him hope that she would keep choosing that way. 

“Astarion, you wanted to see me?” Her voice interrupted his thoughts from across the room. 

“Yes, darling, sorry to disturb your evening.” Perfect, just keep going, don’t screw this up. 

The distance between them evaporated and she was standing right in front of him, waiting for him to continue. He kept his arms behind his back, keeping the plant hidden, still doubting it. 

“I just wanted to apologize, for earlier today.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to. You didn’t realize-” 

“No,” he spat out more harshly than he intended and watched her eyes widen for a moment. Gods, why did he always lose his silver tongue where she was concerned. “Please don’t do that,” he softened his voice. “You’re always worried about my words when it comes to our companions, random strangers, and even my siblings. Don’t dismiss your own feelings so easily, hold me accountable for them, like anyone else’s.” Don’t make yourself tired of me, he added silently. 

“With everything going on, I just didn’t want to make things harder for you. But, thank you.” 

“See, that’s better, isn’t it?” He smiled, recovery made, things were going well. 

“So, what’s behind your back?” She craned her neck, trying to peek around him playfully. 

No avoiding it now. “I wanted to get you something to make up for it. It seems a bit foolish really.” Hesitantly, he presented the little plant to her. 

She took it from his hands with reverence. “Forget-me-nots,” she beamed at the small flowers that matched the color of her eyes. “They’re beautiful. Thank you, Astarion, I love it.” 

A small, awkward laugh escaped him. “Well, that’s quite a relief.”

And then she was moving, placing the plant on the table near their bed, before practically lunging at Astarion. The sudden force of her embrace knocked him from his feet and they collapsed back onto the mattress in a heap. 

“Sorry,” Sera said through a soft laugh before kissing him. “You're wonderful, you know that?”

“I mean, I do, but I could stand to hear it more.” 

“How about I show you instead?” She leaned in, kissing him again, lips parting tantalizingly. 

He wanted to devour her, to pull her in tight and taste every bit of her. His tongue darted inside her mouth, eliciting a soft moan. 

Ice ran up his spine, and he felt himself go rigid.

She pulled back and looked at him with concern. “Is it too much?” 

The hells take his traitorous body. “No, I-I want to try. Please.” He bit back a growl of frustration. It killed him to want her this bad and to have the only thing stopping him be himself.

“Alright.” 

She'd barely answered before he was pushing her back to the mattress by her shoulders and crawling between her legs.

He covered the exposed flesh of her neck with soft nips, fangs barely raking the skin. One hand found its way under her shirt, groping at her pebbled nipple. 

Whimpering, her hips bucked against his, the sweetest pressure on his hardening cock. He groaned against her skin, both hands now pushing her shirt up, exploring her soft curves. 

Head tilted to the side, she offered without words that delicious nectar he could never resist. Fangs burrowed into their favored spot and bliss filled his mouth.  

Fingers tangled into his curls as he rutted against her. Her tongue lapped at the shell of his ear before she moaned his name.  She was lost in him. Like a thousand others before her…

He froze, the world around him going hazy. 

“Astarion,” she called to him softly.

“I can't,” he gasped, hot shame washing over him. Sera wasn't just another one of them, it shouldn't be like this. “I'm sorry.”

Gentle hands guided him to the mattress, arms enfolding him, so his head was buried in her neck. “Hush,” she kissed his forehead. 

Neither said anything further about it, there wasn't need. He knew she didn't expect it of him, and she knew he had needed to try.  

“Drink if you want,” she whispered, stroking his hair. 

Gods, he loved her, even if he wasn't sure he'd ever told her properly how much. He bit back into the open wounds and drank lazily, eyes drifting to the bedside table and the little plant. Maybe there would be a someday with a place it could bloom outside, a place they both called home. 

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[wolfmoonmusic]

hiiii!!! would u mind writing a request for a darkling x reader fanfic where r nearly dies on a trip through the shadow fold and he gets upset when he sees her training to go back through to complete the mission and tells her to come to his office where he gets all soft and tells her he can’t loser her and that she’s his other half and basically after that everyone knows that she is his equal and nobody else can ever compare to her 😭🤭🤭💗

Reassurances

Summary: You nearly die, and the Darkling gets upset.

w/c: 1880+

Pairing: Darkling x female!tidemaker!reader

Warnings: Self-hatred, never being enough, mentions of death and injuries

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’d come to Ravka of your own free will.

Not as a refugee Grisha. Technically.

You had run away though. Away from an abusive home, where you were constantly told that you were not enough. Never would be.

And the Little Palace was perfect. 

“Snap out of your daydreams about the General, Y/N. We’re ready.”

Your eyes grew wide, as you spun around, finding Zoya smirking at you. And not far behind was the General himself, watching with an amused yet bewildered look on his face. You gave him a sheepish smile before following Zoya to the middle of the ship. “For your information, I wasn’t thinking about him,” you seethed. “No,” she said, signaling to an Inferni, “but you were getting there,” she said, turning back to you. You mock her, causing her to smirk, before getting to your station.

“Remember,” Kirigan started, turning to face all of you, “We just want to test this method. That’s all we’re going in for.”

You didn’t miss the whispers that sounded from all around you.

“Why did he choose her?”

“She’s so new.”

“We’re all going to die.”

“There are so many more experienced Tidemakers, her power won’t be enough.”

You shut your eyes, trying to drown them out when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Your eyes fluttered open to find Zoya in front of you. “Kirigan wants to know if this is too much for you,” she said, worry evident in her eyes. Your eyes flickered to Kirigan, watching his eyes on yours, a blank expression on his face.

He thinks you can’t do it. That you’re too weak.

You shook your head, “I can do it.”

Zoya nodded, before turning around and repeating the action to the General, but his eyes never left yours. 

You cleared your throat, focusing on the Fold in front of you, as the ship lurched forward. 

People were yelling instructions all over the ship as you tried to focus on the task at hand. 

“Once we’ve entered, you’ll create a dome of water around the ship. An Inferni will start a fire, which hopefully, thanks to your dome, will be refracted in multiple directions, throwing the Volcra off,” Kirigan told you.

“You think I can do it? Wouldn’t someone else be better fit for the job?”

“I do. But I don’t want you to do it, unless you think you can.”

Your eyes flickered to Kirigan again, who was now facing the Fold.

Truth be told, you didn’t think you could do it. You felt absolutely worthless, and everyone’s whispers weren’t helping.

Yes, the Little Palace was perfect. Everyone was nice. But you couldn’t handle the stares that you received ever since it’d been announced that you’d be handling this. No one knew your past. No one knew how it’d affected you. 

All they saw was the instant liking that Kirigan took to you. The way you’d sometimes spend entire days alone while other days you’d be like a ball of sunshine. It made no sense to most, but then again, everyone had their own trauma to handle.

Your hands trembled as you counted the seconds you’d spent inside the fold. Your eyes were on Kirigan, waiting for his signal. 

And it couldn’t have come sooner.

He looked back to you, nodding briefly. 

You focused on your hands, imagining water flowing through them, as you waved them in the air in a dome like shape, watching as water followed your motions. You kept your hands up, thinning out the layer of water, keeping it steady and from falling all over everyone on the ship. 

You caught Zoya looking at you from the corner of your eye, nodding to you before signaling to the Inferni. Your eyes landed on Kirigan, who gave you a brief nod, eyes shining with an expression you’d never seen anyone look at you with before. 

The Inferni got a good fire going, and as Kirigan had said, the light refracted beautifully. 

It couldn’t destroy the Fold. But it’d be easier to get across.

Just as you thought this would actually work, the first Volcra attacked.

You struggled to keep the water barrier up as it pounded again and again through it. 

Panic built in your chest as more appeared, clearly understanding the trick you’d played.

Everyone started rushing about preparing for a fight.

“Don’t you dare let go!” someone yelled at you, “If you do, we're all dead!”

Your hands trembled. 

They were right. You weren’t enough. You never would be. 

As the negative thoughts swirled in your mind, you felt yourself lose control of the water dome, and it came crashing down on the boat. 

Your breath became unsteady as you failed to process what was going on through all of the screaming. Volcra were all over, snatching people, throwing them overboard. The piercing shrieks of everyone around you sent a searing pain rippling through your head.

Or maybe it was the sharp object that had pierced through your left shoulder.

A blood curdling scream ripped through your throat as you felt yourself being lifted off the ground.

Your vision blurred as fear and pain surged through you. 

The next thing you knew you were falling in the dark, before everything went quiet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recuperation was a foreign concept to you. In your house, it’d always been that way. The second you can think, talk, walk and move at least one arm, you had to get back to your normal schedule. 

So that’s what you did. 

You looked at yourself in the mirror, more disgusted at yourself than you had been before the accident.

That’s what everyone called it now anyways.  Your left hand was in a sling. The healers did their best, but since it was a wound caused by a Volcra, it wasn’t healed completely. You ran your right hand over the black streaks across your shoulder, as they branched out all over your arms.

They would never go away.

There were different versions to the story. But, the most common one was that Kirigan had ordered one of the Inferni to kill the Volcra, and he caught you as you fell. And everyone who had told you this, had also added their comment about how you weren’t ready yet, and that Kirigan had made a mistake.

Of course it wasn’t hatred then. Only those who had been on the ship despised you for getting the others killed. No, everyone else had answered you with pity. Because that was the emotion shown to the weak.

You sighed, slipping on a coat over your tank top, wincing slightly at the way it sat on your shoulder.

The door opened, startling you out of your angry gaze on yourself. 

“You shouldn’t be up yet,” Genya said, coming to stand behind you, her gaze soft. 

“I have to train,” you said, turning around to face her.

“Y/N-”

“I messed up. I messed up and I can’t do that again.”

“You can’t summon without both your hands,” she said, gently as if speaking any louder would break you.

“I’ll train in hand - to - hand combat ‘till then,” you replied, moving to walk past her. 

“Y/N, you need rest.”

“I’m fine,” you said, slamming the door behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were not fine.

Your right hand wouldn’t work like it usually did, and the fake sword in your hand felt heavier than usual. You cursed out as the sword fell from your hand a third time, Zoya watching. “You need to stop this foolishness,” she said, a stern look on her face. 

“You should go mind the others,” you muttered, annoyed, eyeing her as you picked up the sword. 

“The others aren’t ignoring their injuries,” she bit back.

She watched you try to swing it around once more, before standing in attention abruptly, her eyes landing on something behind you.

“What is the meaning of this?” 

Someone behind you.

You dropped the sword, spinning around to find Kirigan behind you, an angry look on his face. 

Zoya cleared her throat, “Sir-”

“I didn’t ask you,” he said, dark eyes fixated on you.

“I can’t summon yet sir. So I thought I would try hand-to-hand combat first,” you replied feeling terrible. You were so upset with yourself. 2 weeks should have been enough. You were only proving what everyone was saying.

“Follow me,” he ordered, walking away. You looked back to Zoya, shocked, but she only nodded you on. 

You ran after him hurriedly, worried about what was going to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirigan had brought you to his office and had been absolutely quite ever since.

He was sitting on the edge of his table, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand. 

“Gener-”

“Call me Aleksander,” he says, finally looking up to meet your gaze.

You feel your cheeks heat up as you nod quickly. He got up, walking over to you, stopping just in front. 

“I know why you push yourself so much,” he whispered, his gaze never leaving your eyes as he took your hands in his.

You stood there dumbfounded, waiting for him to explain. He tilted his head to the side, running his thumb over your knuckles. “The first day that you came here, you were so hurt, you were blabbering in your sleep. You kept asking your parents to stop. And right before I had asked Genya to put you to sleep, you muttered that you’d never be good enough,” he revealed.

You felt your eyes start to water, and you looked down at your joined hands, feeling embarrassed and scared. One of Aleksander’s hands left yours, reaching up to your chin instead, and gently tilting your face upwards. “I wasn’t enough that day either. You trusted me and- and I failed. The Volcra should’ve taken me, I deserve that punishment,” you cried, closing your eyes. “Y/N, look at me. Open those pretty of yours….please,” he whispered.

You did, surprised by the soft, caring look he was giving you. “If the Volcra had done something to you, I would have never been able to forgive myself. Because you are more than just a Grisha to me. You are my better half to say the least. Moreover, you are enough. You are my equal. Your parents were blind. I gave you that job because I knew you could do it. No one else compares to you. In any way. And you will be the one to handle it. Once you are completely healed that is,” he said, smiling softly. He dropped your other hand as well, gently wiping the tears from your face.

You couldn’t help the surge of emotion that ran through you as a smile crept up your face. His hands were now cupping your face, as he leaned in, pausing just before his lips landed on yours. “May I?” he whispered, his breath mixing with yours. You nodded, your stomach knotting up.

His lips landed on yours finally, merging both of you together as one. Goosebumps erupted all over your skin as his hands dropped to your waist, pulling you even closer to him. For the first time in your life, you felt…

…wanted.

He pulled away gently, his eyes bright. 

“Promise me you will rest?” he asked.

“If you’ll stay with me as long as you can,” you said sheepishly.

“Of course, my little tide,” he grinned.

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