#facebook messenger down

[atelophobicself]

the stress of either meta is down or someone just hacked my facebook. fuck facebook, but my messenger! i just got logged out everywhere and can’t log in. we love, we stan.

[glaucusstrix]

Facebook, Facebook Messenger, Instagram and (I assume) Threads are all down right now:

https://www.wfla.com/news/national/facebook-instagram-down-during-outage-thousands-affected/

[deanpinterester]

actually genuinely why is there no real setting on facebook to Only see posts from your friends. why is the feed 99% suggested pages and posts i don't care about. at least with instagram you now have the option to choose. how are you even supposed to use facebook now

[genelvavirtualstudio-blog]

META : Résolution Rapide de la Panne Globale - Facebook, Instagram et Messenger de Retour en Service

Ce mardi 5 mars 2024, une panne globale a frappé les réseaux sociaux emblématiques du groupe Meta, plongeant les utilisateurs de Facebook, Instagram et Messenger dans l’incertitude. Selon le site spécialisé Down Detector, la perturbation a débuté vers 16 heures, générant une vague de difficultés de connexion signalées par plus de 65 000 rapports pour Facebook. En réponse à ces problèmes, Andy…

[ezposts]

Let's all look at the bright side...

whatever that means👀😂🤣

-ez

[k1mbe3rly]

Hii, I was wondering if you could do a yandere se-mi headcannons/story?💕🫶

real.

Yandere Se-mi headcannons

warnings: kills, NSFW, ⚠️WLW STRAP⚠️

Yandere! Se-mi who will obsess over you and constantly stalking you and watching your every move, and will go to great lengths to keep you to herself.

Yandere! Se-mi who slowly becomes extremely possessive and jealous, lashing out at anyone who she perceives as a threat to yalls relationship

Yandere! Se-mi who will try to control every aspect of the your life, from who you talk to, to what you do and where you go.

Yandere! Se-mi who does emotional manipulation to control you and what you’re interested in, using techniques like guilt-tripping and gaslighting to make things go her way.

Yandere! Se-mi who becomes violent if she feels like you’re trying to break away from her or if she feels like she is losing control of the relationship.

“Why haven’t you came over in 2 days? what the hell is going on huh?! fucking cheating on me you slut?!”

Than proceeds to fuck you harshly while her hands are wrapped around your throat, tightening and softening her hands around it.

Yandere! Se-mi who buys many airtags and places it in your purse, and car., she also buys small cameras and places them around your house when your fucked out on the bed and can’t even move after she fucked you

Yandere! Se-mi who follows you thru malls, grocery stores and even when your with your friends, she also makes sure when you tell her your with your family that your actually with your family

Yandere! Se-mi who forces you to give you all her passwords to anywhere you can communicate with other people snapchat, instagram, facebook, messenger, and twitter

“Who the fuck is ‘Jun hee’ talking about her baby daddy isn’t myung gi?”

Yandere! Se-mi who records you getting fucked by her strap and moaning and crying for her as she pinches and pulls your nipples a bit than proceeds to send it to anyone who flirts with you

Yandere! Se-mi who drags you to a public bathroom only for you to get yelled out and fingered roughly

“Why is your ‘Childhood friend’ looking at you like that hm? the second we get home i want you to block them okay baby? Your mine. Cum on my fingers baby, Do what i say..”

Yandere! Se-mi who notices one boy who keeps texting you and even visited your job after she got a notification from your account with him texting you

“I’m glad I got to see you, wanna do that again some time?”

Yandere! Se-mi who know believes you cheated on her, so not only she goes and finds the guy and kills him brutually but goes to you with bloody hands and fingers you with his blood on her hands

Yandere! Se-mi who is fucking with you with the strap roughly as tears filled your eyes moaning loudly, she’s gripping on your hips hard enough to leave a bruise as she said soemthing that immediately turned you off

“Fuck! you know you kinda sound like that one boy i murdered for you” she said smirking as she wanted to see your reaction

Yandere! Se-mi who notices you stopped moaning and stared at her in fear as she kept thrusting into you, eventually she stopped

“What did you say..?” you spoke to her, “Nothing baby you just look so sexy right now..” she whispered to you, “No i heard what you said..what do you mean? did you actually kill someone Se-mi?!” you yelled out, “He was stealing what’s mine.”

Yandere! Se-mi who watches you cry in fear as she threatens that if you ever leave she’ll kill you too but deep down she won’t cause she just loves you so much

Yandere! Se-mi who has to strangle you down after you tried running for the front door

“Are you serious? your being so ungrateful! fucking went out of my way and murdered that stupid slut for you! and this is how you reward me?”

Yandere! Se-mi who ties you up teases you until you can’t take it

“Tell me you’ll stay with me. Tell me you won’t leave me and i’ll let you cum and even untie you”

“I’ll stay you! i promise! Just please i can’t take it anymore! I’ll be with you forever!” you cried out sobbing as she smirks, that night you had the biggest orgasm and find yourself crying silently on the bed as she cuddles you

[httpknjoon]

the princess and the rockstar | jjk

[PROLOGUE]

plot | Once upon a time, there was a crowd-favorite crown princess who found herself romantically involved with a famous rockstar. See how they will try to navigate the world and maybe live happily ever after.

genres | angst, fluff, modern royalty!au, celebrity!au, established relationship!au

pairing | rockstar!jungkook x princess!reader

note | made a lot of changes... this one's only a prologue! i'll be posting the first chapter in a couple of days :)

main masterlist | series masterlist | spotify playlist

[EXCLUSIVE] Royalty, Romance, Rumors: Zafiro's Queen YN Tell-All Interview With Kaira Bahl

For the first time ever, Queen YN of Zafiro sits down for an afternoon tea with The Solar’s very own Kaira Bahl to share about her journey to being the youngest ever to head a monarchy, along with telling personal stories and addressing rumors from the past. From being the world’s loved crown princess to Zafiro’s first female and youngest leader, Her Majesty opens up about what it truly means to be a queen.

As I arrive in front of the Sapphire Palace, it is surprising to see the Queen YN herself waiting by the big sapphire blue doors of the palace. Sticking to her known fashion sense, Her Majesty stunned in a customized floral Dior knee-length belted dress and white gloves. Her most-prized silver crown was absent from her head.

When I asked about it, she laughed, “It’s too heavy. I don’t wear it around at home.”

Home. Home for Queen YN is the Sapphire Palace, which is known to have 542 rooms, which include rooms for royal guests, royal staff, state meetings, offices, and bathrooms.  It also has recreational areas that Queen YN is planning to open to the public as she shared on her 20XX State of the Nation Address, one of the firsts Her Majesty has done since she was crowned five years ago.

The Queen led me to her favorite part of her home: The Garden. She proudly showed off different plants from places all over the world. She shared how each is a gift from friends, world leaders, and local Zafirons who are all aware of her passion for nature. I curiously asked what is her favorite among the countless plants. She then asked one of her staff to help her carry a vase full of reddish-orange flowers.

“These are tiger-lilies! I loved it for many reasons, but I will tell you one… I love it mainly because of the thousands of symbolisms about it,” she winked, still wearing the youthful smile she had years ago.

We had our interview in her garden. A spot was already set up for us under her acacia tree, a simple blue couch and center table with cups of tea and a variety of biscuits on it. Just like what we agreed on in the first place, this interview will only be documented through an old-school recorder and a notepad. She firmly asked for camera restrictions. The Queen also asked for my solo appearance, no teams allowed, as she will be alone during the whole interview. Just the two of us. Finally, Her Majesty asked to read the whole article first before I publish it online.

So, reader, if you are reading this article, please know that this is approved by Her Majesty herself. Anything that you might find offensive or displeasing to The Queen is already worthless for a battle cry. Again, Queen YN herself has reviewed everything in here.

With that, shall we start?

For every minute that passed, Jungkook's phone has been receiving messages from anyone who knows him. It can be from his phone's messaging app, Instagram's direct message, Facebook Messenger, or even email. He gets mentioned with every post of excerpts from your unexpected interview that was just posted tonight at midnight.

Now, it's almost three in the morning.

Jungkook has barely slept for the last couple of hours. His phone is somewhere in his bedroom, set on Do Not Disturb mode just so no one can reach him in this confusing time. Instead, he has his laptop on his dining table, staring right back at him while he holds a glass of ice-cold whisky in his left hand. The interview article is said to be a long read, requiring almost an hour to read the whole thing. But he found himself stuck in a single part of the article for three hours now.

Suddenly, looking at the tiger lily inked on his arm suffocates him. He looked away as he felt tears burning the corners of his eyes. He gulped away whatever was blocking his throat. He wanted to close his eyes, but every time he did, all he could see was you tracing the said tattoo with your index finger, then looking up at him with a small smile.

A smile that he had last seen that day. He tried looking for it in your recent photos, but he could not find it anywhere.

Taking the glass to his lips, Jungkook tries to swallow down the ache he has been feeling, hoping that it will shake off the memories out of his head and the numbness in his body. But it didn't work. Nothing worked.

AN EXCERPT FROM THE INTERVIEW:

"I pledged to be protective of everyone, whether they are from my nation or not. And if things happened between me and another person, I like to make sure that the encounters or the relationship will just remain between us."

note | hello! i'm reconstructing this series and it has been sooo long since I posted anything about this. so please let me know if you still want to be on the series taglist. i will be making a new one, so please reply below if you still want to join it. thank you! <3

THE PRINCESS AND THE ROCKSTAR TAGLIST

@rbrm094 @rjsmochii @sugaslittlekookies @saintsugar @thvlover7 @alpha-mommy69 @natalia-rmnva @coralmusicblaze @stupendouscookiehumanmug @namgoogieee @yoonjinhusbands @borahaeb1ch @lilliankoo @gxtwllsn @taechvita @snkyuv @canyon-lwt @hiii-priestess @jksgirlhere @razzletaffy @bbtsficrecs @jnk-pop @jjeonjjk7 @tokkiggukie @cuntessaiii @annoyingcolorfox @kooliv @jksgirlhere @razzletaffy @oopscoop @hani0407 @taebae19 @yunki-yunki-yunki @hellbornsworld @kissyfacekoo @ficluvr613 @kpopssuregi @prettypink11 @diamondjeon @raemanova @jalexad @lveegsoi @qualityjoonie @recklesselfless @minewlove @yooforeaa @joonwater

PERMANENT TAGLIST (CLOSED)

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @misshale21 @marblemoonstones @senaqsstuff

[two-white-butterflies]

monopoly go | mv33

Description: A stranger keeps striking your monopoly go base. You search him on Facebook and decide to settle your losses.

EMILLIAN ATTEMPTED TO SHUT DOWN YOUR LANDMARK.

EMILLIAN ATTEMPTED TO SHUT DOWN YOUR LANDMARK.

EMILLIAN ATTEMPTED TO SHUT DOWN YOUR LANDMARK.

EMILLIAN STOLE 135K IN A BANK HEIST!

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EMILLIAN STOLE 1.2M IN A BANKHEIST.

EMILLIAN SHUT DOWN YOUR LANDMARK.

EMILLIAN STOLE 3.3M IN A BANKHEIST.

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yourname_awesome: the emillian that keeps attacking me on monopoly go needs to GET A LIFE.

liked by 728 others

>comments

bff1: if his fb is connected to his monopoly, u can msg him. - yourname_awesome: how? - - bff1: @yourname_awesome depends if his pfp is the same as his fb. just search emillian and browse through the ppl that show up. 😭 - - - yourname_awesome: IMMA MESSAGE HIM

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FACEBOOK REQUESTS: Y/N L/N

Max Verstappen looked at his message box - it's been a while since he's used messenger, normally he spent his time in imessage or whatsapp but since his new addiction in Monopoly Go, he's had an amazing time reading the angry messages from people he attacked. He never responded to any of them of course - but your message caught his eye ... well, your profile did too.

Y/N L/N Can you stop attacking me in Monopoly?

EMILLIAN Pass 🤣

Y/N L/N What are you 8yrs old? give me ur cashapp but promise me that you'll never attack me again.

EMILLIAN even if u give me $1m dollars, i'll still keep attacking u

Y/N L/N FUCK UUUUUUUUU

Seen 8:32PM

He couldn't stop chucking at the message - who knew that a little game could induce strong feelings of hatred.

EMILLIAN Miss, i got something to tell u

Y/N L/N What?

EMILLIAN I'm sorry 🤣

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EMILLIAN STOLE 5M IN A BANKHEIST.

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Y/N L/N FUCK UUUU 😭 FUCKING TEENAGER ATTACKING A GROWN WOMAN?

EMILLIAN Fyi, I'm 25.

Y/N L/N Big fucking baby

EMILLIAN my reaction

Y/N L/N Is that u?

EMILLIAN Yea

Y/N L/N Ugly ass 🤣

EMILLIAN I'd like to look @ ur face before ruining your base again

Y/N L/N PASS 🤣

EMILLIAN Nah wait, I already have it

Y/N L/N You are a literal child You should learn how to be a gentleman

Seen 8:38PM

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Y/N SHUT DOWN YOUR LANDMARK.

Y/N STOLE 10M IN A MEGAHEIST.

Y/N ATTEMPTED TO SHUT DOWN YOUR LANDMARK.

Y/N STOLE 12.5M IN A MEGAHEIST.

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maxverstappen1: Y/N L/N, it is on #MonopolyGO

liked by 1,283,912 others

>comments

bff1: @yourname_awesome ??

yourname_awesome: a

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PART TWO

[its-sixxers]

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS

well, this is one way to do a cyber monday thing

anyone who follows me probably knows about the long nightmare saga of my vehicle. a couple of months ago the alternator went when i was out of town. rip savings. today a valve went leaking oil all over my brand new alternator and my mechanic advised me that if i didn't fix it it would end up taking out my alternator. i need my vehicle for work - and i'm not getting any more paychecks until january.

i would like to be able to pay my rent this christmas, so alongside me listing everything i can on facebook marketplace it is ALSO - emergency commission time! I'm offering:

CHARACTER ART - $35 USD

Do you have a character you want drawn? I can do that! Give me references and an idea of what you’d like with them and hey presto I will give you an art. Number of characters multiply the price - so two characters are 70 total.

Technical stuff:

Prices are in USD. Please contact me via email at spaceturra@gmail.com as it’s much easier to keep track of everything that way than our beloved/beloathed tumblr messenger. I use PayPal invoicing - you don’t need a paypal account, just an email I can send it to for you to choose your payment method of choice.

All commissions will be a colored sketch that are at least waist up - unless a preference for portrait (shoulders up) is specified. Unlike my usual commission method I will not be offering revisions or tweaks as time is of the essence (unless I miss something in the references given) - you will receive a final piece to do with as you please.

EDIT: I am extending this for the holidays!

(you have no idea how much i fucking hate needing a car.)

I will not draw:

Sexual content / waist down nudity

Overly detailed designs (mecha, complex tattoos - if curious ask!)

It's not a great feeling having to do these and I am always touched by how wonderfully kind the community here is. If you're not into getting character art but want to help out you can send directly to my PayPal here. (You are an angel.)

[les4elliewilliams]

𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐. “𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐋 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄”

ⵌ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 / 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒.ᐟ

◌ 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘… 𐐪 masterlist

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕ A time before Skype and Facebook. Windows XP just came out, and Messenger was the thing. You finally got a computer just to chat with your friends.

◌ 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓. 𐐪 nsfw + fluff

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕A quick checkup led to a quick spike in your heartbeat—you collided with her. It’s only a matter of time before silly inside jokes turn into the story of how you found your best friend, your first love, and, eventually, the girl you’d marry.

◌ 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑. 𐐪 nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕After a string of brutal murders shakes a quiet town, you, a waitress, find yourself the prime suspect when a coworker is killed during your shift.

◌ 𝐒𝐘𝐑𝐔𝐏. 𐐪 nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕Skipping class with Ellie is usually all cuddles and lazy mornings, except when her hormones take over. Pancakes are forgotten, and you discover just how many times you can make her beg for more before noon.

◌ ❝𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑!❞ 𐐪 masterlist

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕After bumping into you on her first day of college, Ellie spends the entire year captivated by you from a distance. You're everything she could never be—popular, wealthy, and effortlessly alluring, with a perfect, disgustingly rich family to match. Convinced she didn’t stand a chance, Ellie resigns herself to watching from the sidelines. But when her best friend Dina suggests they work at a public pool for the summer, Ellie agrees, hoping to save up some money. What she never expected was to find you there, commanding the space with a magnetic, dangerous charm that pulls her in. Now, Ellie’s summer is about to take a turn she never saw coming, and she’s about to find out just how close she can get to you before it all falls apart.

◌ 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑. 𐐪 nsfw (smut with plot)

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕You thought sleeping with a married woman would ruin your life. Turns out, it was just the beginning.

◌ 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐁. 𐐪 one, two, three (smau)

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕You just wanted a plug, not a personal headache.

◌ 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐏𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐋 𐐪 nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕In a sun-bleached Southern town, you, a sweet farm girl raised on scripture, meet a handsome woman. There’s sin in your veins now, and a secret only the two of you know. Some girls pray for forgiveness. Some don’t look back.

◌ 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆. 𐐪 florist!ellie x singlemom!reader ⨾ sfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕A florist who falls for the clumsy single mom who keeps wrecking her sunflowers finally gets the courage to ask you to dinner.

ⵌ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒.ᐟ

◌ 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄. 𐐪 ex-girlfriend!ellie ⨾ nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕A breakup never sticks when obsession runs both ways.

◌ 𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍. 𐐪 coworker!ellie ⨾ nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕She made your work life hell and made your sex life heaven.

◌ 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐑. 𐐪 ghostface!bestfriend!ellie ⨾ nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕Find someone who’d murder for you.

◌ 𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐄!𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𐐪 nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕Feralwife!ellie who is simply obsessed with you.

◌ 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐁𝐔𝐒!𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𐐪 nsfw

⤷ 𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 ﹕You’re getting fucked by something unholy.

ⵌ 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 / 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐒.ᐟ

◌ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐓. 𐐪 kinda nsfw

◌ 𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄. 𐐪 sfw

ⵌ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒.ᐟ

◌ 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐑!𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𐐪 nsfw

◌ 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓. 𐐪 nsfw

◌ 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑 𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍 𐐪 sfw

◌ 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𐐪 sfw

◌ 𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄'𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𐐪 sfw

...leaving so soon?

ⓘ you are NOT allowed to repost my stuff on other sites/apps, or I swear I’ll hunt you down. Writing’s just a hobby for me, mostly here to read, I don’t even know how often I’ll be posting.

[sunbeam-catt]

Tiktok is officially going down.

Crash meta stocks (the biggest lobbyist for it to be banned) by

• deleting meta apps (Facebook, Instagram, messenger, and threads)

• opting out of data collection by following these steps

Go to profile -> go to settings -> got to account center -> scoll to find "your information off meta" -> clear your activity -> turn off future activity

Meta is a conniving bitch of a company, make sure to routinely check that your data collection is still off

Also, it's important to note that Trump's alleged plan to reinstate the app is a ploy for our support, sympathy, and to poise himself further into dictatorship. He is still a piece of shit alongside a list of other words including but not limited to: pedophile, felon, misogynist, rapist, and racist

(tags for reach)

[cassiansbussy]

modern au acotar headcannons i would die by

azriel listens to edm religiously

cass has a secret crunchyroll account

rhys and az have found the account and relentlessly make fun of cass for it

rhys loves tolkien

nesta absolutely has a tumblr account

mor is debating starting an OF (she’s already an influencer)

amren’s pockets are full of hot topic receipts

tamlin tries adderall and realized he just has adhd

feyre has a ipad for digital coloring books

beron is an adamant maga supporter

lucien fell down a “looksmaxxing” rabbit hole and mews in the mirror each morning

elain is obsessed with make-up youtuber drama

elain made a video of herself singing riptide with a ukulele, it got 846 views, they were all lucien

az stalks elain’s insta

rhys only messages on facebook messenger

nesta leaves the most brutal critiques on goodreads. she went to a book signing and made the author cry.

feyre makes a point to let everyone know she doesn’t use social media (she has a secret art account that won’t take off)

cass is obsessed with keto, he’s thinking of moving to colorado

az lets elain practice makeup on him

rhys has horror movie marathons every halloween, cass accidentally eats all the candy for trick or treaters, amren tries to spook them mid-movie

mor got a pet monkey just because

az listens to asmr

[charliegyrth]

Fatter for the Wedding - Part 1 of 12

Bad News from My Brother

Sweat oozed down my face. I’d just finished lifting weights at the gym, and even though I was beyond sore, I still needed to jog back home.

I dreaded that jog every time, but it was my own damn choice. Simon didn’t need the car this morning (he never needed it on Sunday mornings), but I left it for him. “Just in case.” That was the excuse.

The real reason: I liked pushing myself a bit too far. I liked spending that extra twenty minutes feeling my body ache.

And the other reason: I liked the attention.

I don’t want to start off my story by bragging, but I have to be honest. I drew stares wherever I went. People straight-up drooled at me, like cartoon coyote style. Both men and women, though the men were a bit more open about it.

I was 6’1” and 172 pounds. Not the biggest guy at the gym, but probably the most defined. I kept my black hair just a big shaggy. My skin was tan, a nice contrast to my amber-colored eyes. I used to model in my early twenties. That was before I started dating Simon, who had first encouraged me to pack all this muscle onto my previously thin frame.

I guess that was my third reason for jogging home: Simon. He fell in love with me when I was model thin (a bit unhealthy-looking, honestly). And I knew he’d love me at any size, but he had a clear preference for bigness. He didn’t say this outright, but the way he touched me now, the way his hands explored the hard edges of my muscles… Well, that told me everything I needed to know.

By the time I reached home, my legs and lungs were on fire. My long-ish hair was plastered to my forehead. (I wasn’t a naturally sweaty person, but my gym days left me coated.) I felt the usual rush of excitement as I reached our door. I couldn’t wait for Simon to take one look at me, strip off my clothes, and pull me into the shower.

That was our routine.

But before I entered, the music in my ear buds got interrupted by the ring of an incoming call. It was my brother Harry. He lived in Brazil, so he had to use Facebook messenger whenever he called.

Which was almost never, sadly. I wanted more than anything to keep Harry in my life, to rekindle the closeness that we used to have. Back in elementary school, we were inseparable. He was just over a year younger than me, so we might as well have been twins.

Then everything changed when I hit puberty. I moved onto junior high, made some new friends, and discovered that I was gay. He was the first person I’d come out to, of course, and he seemed totally fine with it.

But then he started avoiding me around the house. He never initiated any conversations and would only give one-word answers to my questions. He pretended to forget all the inside jokes we had.

It was terrible. I worried that my sexuality (which everyone else was totally fine with) had broken our brotherly bond.

Once we were in high school, and I had my first real boyfriend, he’d stopped talking to me altogether. It took me a while to finally confront him about it. We were at a family barbecue. I’d invited some friends over, girls that had known Harry forever. One of them asked me why Harry kept glaring at me from across the yard. I hated that she’d noticed.

I marched over and just totally laid into him. In front of everyone, I accused him of abandoning me. I called him a homophobe. The words just spilled out, even though I knew that everyone was staring.

Harry, who was a lot shorter than me, shrank down even more. “I’m not a homophobe,” he mumbled.

“Then what’s your problem?”

He walked back inside the house and I followed. Now that we were alone, he finally admitted the truth: He was jealous. He didn’t hate me because I was gay. He hated me because I’d gotten hot. Almost overnight, I’d gone from his “twin” to the hottest guy in the room. And because I was gay, I had no interest in all the girls who practically threw themselves at me.

He said he couldn’t look at me without getting angry, like I’d hogged all the good genes for myself.

I was too shocked to say anything, which made the situation worse. Then I tried to hug him, which really made the situation worse.

Eventually, we talked through our issues, and he promised to get over himself. I think he tried, I really did, but we still barely spoke.

And then we grew up. Harry left the country for college and then decided to settle there permanently. We had our occasional video calls, but it was always awkward. I had to censor myself because I knew that most topics would make him upset. (I couldn’t talk about my modeling career, obviously. Or my social life. Or the famous people I got to meet.)

Those video calls started to peter out. I hadn’t heard from him in six months. He didn’t even call on my thirtieth birthday.

So of course I answered right away. His round face popped onto my screen. He was smiling, which surprised me. “Mal! Long time no see!”

“Hey, Harry. I miss you.”

“So I got some news!” he said. No questions about me. No apologies for missing my birthday. “Maria and I are getting married!”

I was shocked. I’d literally never heard of Maria before. But I was so happy for him.

And selfishly, I took the good news as a sign that maybe we’d be able to reconnect. Now that he was finally happy, he’d stop comparing himself to me.

“Congratulations! When’s the wedding?”

He paused. His smile disappeared. “Um… well…”

“You don’t have a date yet?”

“We do. It’s in about six months. It’s just…”

I gulped. “I’m not invited.”

He didn’t answer.

“Harry! We’re brothers!”

I felt a bead of sweat ooze down the edge of my cheek and fall onto my neck. I was already hot from the workout, but my face got even hotter.

“Don’t be mad. You can come after. I really wanna see you.”

“So it’s going to be a small wedding? Just a few friends?”

“No.” He sighed. “You know my problem, Mal. This’ll be my day. Me and Maria. And if you’re there…” He didn’t want to finish his sentence, but I forced him to. I needed him to say the words. “Everyone will just compare us like they always do. You’ll take the attention away from me. And Maria.”

“I can’t go to your wedding because I’m too good looking,” I said flatly.

He flinched. Then he nodded.

I wanted to throw my phone against the wall.

“I’m sorry.”

I ended the call before he said anything else.

When I finally walked into the house, I’d forgotten about all the soreness in my arms and legs. As expected, Simon was waiting for me with his adorable, horny smile. Ready to rip off my clothes. Ready to pull me into the shower, lather me up, and worship the body that I’d built for him.

Then he noticed my expression.

He walked over and hugged me. “What’s wrong?” “Everything.”

Read Part 2 here.

You can find all my stories here. And you can also read the full ebook of this story (plus the bonus story "A Fat Proposal") on Amazon.

[sprinkler-ashes]

gold rush // aaron hotchner x reader

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

description: in which aaron hotchner hates social media – unless it’s yours. inspired by gold rush by taylor swift.

words: 2.2k

warnings: hotch is down bad, curse words, a bit of pining and jealousy

a/n: i love the idea of the bau being active on social media + hotch having no idea what any online terms mean lmao anyways i just really like this little fic. happy reading!!

i don’t like slow motion, double vision in rose blush

i don't like that falling feels like flying ‘til the bone crush

everybody wants you

but i don’t like a gold rush

Aaron Hotchner is not a fan of social media.

Maybe it’s because of his job. He knows that posting too much information online could sometimes lead to bad situations because there are always people lurking – it’s impossible to know who, exactly, is watching online. Or maybe it’s because he simply didn’t grow up with it. It didn’t really matter – he just knows he does not like using it.

Penelope had shown him quite a bit of Twitter after several BAU cases started trending while the cases were actively going on, even somehow agreeing to let her set him up an account. Aaron didn’t really want an account, but it was almost impossible to say no to Penelope Garcia who Aaron genuinely liked a lot.

Facebook was another one that he had. He didn’t even have a profile picture and only harbored a small amount of friends – entirely family. The site was strictly used to keep up with Jessica since she was an avid Facebook user. If he couldn’t get a hold of her through her phone, he would send her a message on Facebook’s messaging platform, Messenger. She typically responded that way.

The last social media account Aaron had was a new one. Or, well, new-ish. It had just been created a little over a month ago. He didn’t want the account, but Penelope wasn’t the one who asked him to get an account that time.

It was you. And saying no to you was even harder than saying no to Penelope.

A group photo was taken at Rossi’s last month during a get-together after finishing a case. Penelope went straight to Instagram to post it, tagging everyone except Aaron who wasn’t shy to say he didn’t have an account. He was the only one – even Rossi had made an account.

“You’re not on Instagram?” You’d asked Aaron only moments after that.

He shook his head. “I don’t really use social media.”

You frowned like you were in deep thought before turning to him again with a smile. “We should change that.”

All it took was a good minute, maybe even less than that, and one of your signature smiles to convince him to let you help him create an Instagram profile.

He accumulated a small amount of followers since then, which he had to approve, of course, as Aaron made sure his account was set to private – mainly family, some friends, and the team. However, that was as far as it went. He was still figuring out the app, but completely forgot about his new account due to his busy life.

Except for now.

It’s a slow Friday at work – mainly just a day spent catching up on paperwork – and Aaron never really complains on days like this. Yes, it’s usually boring, but having a day without a case means he actually gets to see his son at the end of the day, so it’s a win for him.

But a slow day creates boredom, especially when he’s actually ahead on paperwork. Aaron can’t recall the last time he was this bored at work – probably because he usually has something to do – but when his eyes ghost over the time on his expensive watch, he has to resist letting out a sigh of agitation because, somehow, there are still four more hours left in the workday.

Aaron puts the pen he’s holding down and moves the file he’s in the process of reviewing. He grabs his phone from one of the drawers in his desk and turns it on. The lock screen, which is his favorite photo of Jack, lights up before he enters his passcode.

He does errand-like things at first, including responding to a couple of texts, checking his personal email, and even spending a minute, or five, on Twitter, not that he would ever admit that to Penelope.

Eyeing the colorful app with a white outline of a camera, he hesitantly opens Instagram, still not really used to it considering it’s been over a month since the last time he was on it. He waits a second for it to load up until a photo appears on his feed from JJ, who posted a picture of Henry and Will before she left for work.

jj_jareau: My two favorite guys <3

Aaron knows that the symbol on the end of her caption is supposed to represent a heart because you often send the same symbol in the BAU group chat. He’s not sure why you never use actual emoticons – he’s never asked you – but he associates the symbol with you.

Not that he’s associating hearts with you specifically. Or overanalyzing all your texts in the group chat. Of course not, it’s just because you use it often. That’s all.

When Aaron tries to scroll, he accidentally presses on your username that was showing up in the preview of the comments, sending him straight to your own Instagram page.

He’s about to click the back arrow above your profile picture that he’s assuming will take him back to his feed, but Aaron can’t stop himself from glancing over your profile. Your page is filled with photos from moments in your life that go back years.

Looking up from his phone, he can see you from his chair as the blinds in his office are currently open. You’re chatting with Spencer who’s sitting across from you, a smile on your face as you continuously glance from him and back over to your computer screen where you’re typing, making sure Spencer knows you’re still listening to whatever bizarre fact he’s probably ranting about.

Aaron looks back down to his phone. He’s never been on your page, nor have your posts ever shown up on his feed during the rare times he’s actively gone on the app. It almost feels too personal – like he’s not supposed to see the side of you he doesn’t work with.

He carefully presses on the last post you made. It’s a post from only one day ago, but you’re not in any of the seven photos you’ve posted, which makes him frown with a tinge of disappointment.

Your caption reads, September photo dump, with a couple emoticons.

Wondering what the hell a photo dump is, Aaron looks through the set of pictures again. Everything is random. They range from a sunset to a picture of a meal you must’ve eaten at some point during the month of September, which just passed, and even one of Emily’s cat.

He scrolls down to the next post from three days ago. This time, you’ve only posted one picture and luckily for him, you’re actually in it.

You’re sitting at a dinner table, head resting gently on your hand with a sweet smile while your other hand is gently holding a glass of what – Aaron brings the phone closer to his face without knowing he can actually just zoom in – appears to be champagne.

It only takes him a few seconds after admiring how you look in the photo to wonder about who’s on the other side of it.

Aaron doesn’t know who took the photo and is getting to see you smile like that, but he does know that he wishes it was him because you’re just so damn pretty.

The man is pretty sure he would quite literally melt down to the ground if you looked at him like that.

He’s attempting to push these thoughts to the back of his head as he prepares to scroll to the next post. Aaron is well aware of the fact he shouldn’t be thinking about you in any way that isn’t strictly platonic. He is your boss and even aside from that, the two of you are not only co-workers, but friends.

Friends, he reminds himself. That’s all.

But as he scrolls to the next post, every thought of friendship leaves his body.

It’s a photo taken with the flash on from exactly a week ago, last Friday night, of you, Emily, JJ, and Penelope in what appears to be a club that Aaron can’t say recognizes. You’re standing on the end, your arm snaked around Emily’s waist with your body turned towards the camera while mid-laugh.

The black dress you’re wearing hugs every inch of your body perfectly – you’re showing more skin in the photo than Aaron has ever seen out of you. He’s seen you dressed up before – even seen you in person at clubs himself – but nothing like this before. Ever.

Much needed girls’ night out, your caption says.

Aaron’s not even sure he’s still breathing when he swipes to the second, and last, picture in the post.

This time, it’s only you. You’re still in the same dress, looking at the camera with a sultry smile. You’re not in the club this time. Aaron can’t tell where you are, but that doesn’t really matter because you’re looking straight at the camera with one of the most attractive looks he’s ever seen – it almost feels like you’re looking directly at him.

prentiss_emily: Baddest bitch in the bureau

yourusername: @ emily_prentiss Only behind you ofc

Though he knows she means it in an endearing way, Aaron doesn’t want to call you a bitch, but Emily’s comment on your post technically isn’t a lie. Unfortunately, he also can't seem to figure out what "ofc" means.

A part of him feels guilty. He knows he can’t have you, yet he’s going through your Instagram right now imagining a thousand what-if scenarios, a tinge of jealousy running through his veins at the idea of you ever looking at anyone the way you’re looking at the camera in your photos.

Aaron spends so much time trying to convince himself he doesn’t feel the way he does for you because there are so many reasons why he shouldn’t have the feelings he does. He can’t think of a scenario where you can be his nor can he think of a world in which you feel the same.

So, after he looks at this photo for another couple of seconds, he’s finally going to close out the app and forget about the way you look in that dress.

He can’t get the chance to do that because the door to his office is opening abruptly, startling him to the point where he drops his phone onto his desk.

“Shit,” he curses under his breath, hands fumbling to lock his phone so your Instagram will go away.

There you are, mouth open to say something until you notice him fumbling with his phone.

A sheepish look appears on your face. “Sorry, I forgot to knock.”

“It’s fine,” he says, hoping his voice is even and doesn’t scream: Hello, I just looked through your Instagram. “What do you need?” He lays his phone down – it’s finally locked – and looks up at you, trying to appear like he was actually doing something.

“Oh, I don’t need anything. Reid and I are going to try that new place that just opened up down the street for lunch. I was wondering if you wanted me to grab you something.”

“Do you have a menu?” He asks.

“Yeah, give me a second. I’ll text it to you,” you tell him.

You’re pulling your phone out of the pocket of your pants and if Aaron had been paying attention and not pretending like he was working, he would’ve seen the way you glanced up at him, back to your phone, then back to him, a giddy smile on your face.

You do as you told him you would and send him the menu. “Take your time looking over it. Just text me what you want within the next fifteen minutes.”

“Thanks. I’ll look over it in a minute.”

Aaron really does go back to work this time, his hands moving to pick up the file he moved earlier. He hears the door open and assumes you’re on your way out of the door, but you don’t leave yet.

“Oh! Before I go,” you say, your body out the door and your hand lingering on the outside knob of his office door. He looks up at you, pen in hand. “Thanks for the like on Instagram.”

Aaron thinks his heart has stopped upon hearing those words. Before he can even say anything, you shut the door, and you’re making your way back to where Spencer is still sitting.

He swallows hard, closes the file, and sets it away once again. His fingers frantically type in his passcode, and Instagram immediately pops up, still open from when he tried to turn his phone off.

To Aaron’s horror, he sees the Instagram heart that’s used to like photos filled with red and seemingly glaring at him. It was too late to unlike it now. You’d obviously already gotten the notification.

Meanwhile, as Aaron is mentally panicking, you’re whipping out your phone again to send another text. This time to Emily who is currently in a meeting.

I will never doubt you again – Operation post-a-thirst-trap worked!

[prettypinkporkchop]

Could we get a Leah x reader where r likes to fish or hunt, and happens to see Leah shift. She obviously freaks out cause holy shit but Leah is way too preoccupied with the fact she just imprinted.

OmG SO CUTE I SEE READER WEARING THIS: (anything will work)

Fishing without Harry feels weird today. It's been a few months without him, and now fishing and hunting feel like tributes to him.

You met him after your cousin started working with Charlie. You got to know Charlie, which got you to meet Billy and Harry Clearwater. You knew he had kids, but you've never met them. Although you knew of them and that Leah was close to your age.

You sigh and throw the fishing line into the water. Your mind begins to play out your childhood like a movie. Back home where you grew up, your dad took you hunting and fishing all of the time. You've always been so outdoorsy because of how you grew up. You wouldn't change a thing.

You hear someone stepping on rocks behind you. You turn around and see a woman with short hair and shorts on. Her shoes are gone. You look up into her eyes and see how beautifully brown they are. It felt as though she engulfed you into her spirit. You felt a pulling toward her. But, you push this weird feeling to the back of your mind which leaves a burning sensation in your chest.

"Hey. Are you trying to fish here?" You ask, smiling.

She just blinks her eyes and looks away. She starts breathing heavily, which confuses and worries you.

"Hello?" You ask.

In a blink of an eye, she changes into a wolf, right in front of you. You gasped at the sight, dropping your fishing pole. Your eyes widen, and your hands cover your mouth. The wolf runs off before anything else could happen.

----

You're sitting in your car, breathing heavy, still at a loss of what happened. You look up to look at the sherif department where you know Charlie is. Should you go in and tell him? You don't want to seem insane. You're so embarrassed of what people would say to you. Or even.. do to you? They could hospitalize you! You've been sitting in the parking lot for an hour and a half.

----

You see a Facebook notification.

Leah Clearwater sent you a friend request.

You see the profile picture and freeze in your bed. You stare. You scroll through. Harry's daughter.

You accept.

----

Your cousin Winona, who you have moved to Forks with, stumbles out of her room into the kitchen where you're doing the dishes.

"Fuck. I have such a headache." She groans and holds her head.

"Ayo! Who'd you party with?" You ask.

"Nobody. I was grieving Liam Payne's passing." She chuckles.

"You know what, that's real." You reply.

"What's up with you? I didn't see you at all yesterday." She sits down at the small table.

You put the last dish in the dishwasher and shut it. You turn to face her, and then you shrug. "I went fishing and I was tired so I stayed in bed after that." You lied. You're a terrible liar.

She raises an eyebrow at you. "I'm a cop. I know things." She says.

"Okay, Charlie." You laugh.

"Oh yeah! Yesterday, I met Seth and Leah Clearwater. They came to drop off lunch for Charlie." She says.

Your heart starts beating fast, but you do your best to hide your emotions. "Ah, nice!" You sit down at the table. "How are they doing?"

"A lot better than I'd be if my dad passed." She shrugs. "But, I could tell it was still a sting to them when Charlie brought him up." She continued.

----

You stare at the messenger bubble for too long. Should you text Leah? What would you even say?

"Hey! I saw you turn into a wolf! Nice fur color."

Like???

You sigh and turn off your phone. You look outside to see the sun starting to go down just a little bit. Good time to go, hunt.

You sit against the tree, tying your shoe laces that came undone. Your shotgun is propped up against the tree beside you.

"Ya know, I can smell you a mile away."

You jerk your head up to see Leah. You drop your arms onto the ground. She laughs and sits beside you.

"I.."

"Don't worry. I know you saw. I'll explain everything to you." She sighs.

Freaking forget hunting! You're here listening to Leah Clearwater speak about the tribe, the legends, her pack, her life story, and... imprinting.

You sat and listened and asked questions. It's easier to digest the information because of the fact that she belongs to Harry.

"So.. imprinting? It can be anything. What do you want with me?" You nervously stare at the trees ahead of you.

"Well, I'm still healing from Sam. But after I saw you, it seemed to matter a lot less." She smiles.

She stands up and holds her hand out. You hesitate but glide your hand into hers. When you do, it shocks you from the feeling. She pulls you up effortlessly. She walks you home.

---

You and Leah have stuck together through the battle with the newborns, the emotions, the small flirting, Edward and Bella having a baby, the volturi, everything. Your anxiety has been high through it all because you were scared of losing Leah. You two flirt but you guys never made it official. You haven't even kissed her yet.

Here you are, fishing with Leah where you two first met. (Here's your fit:)

You guys are sitting on the rocks beside each other, soaking up the silence and peace. You suck in a breath and reel in your bait from the water. You put the pole on the ground beside you. Leah looks over at you with confusion. You cross your legs, turning your body to her.

"Leah?"

"Yes?"

"Did I motivate you during the battles?" You ask shyly.

She smiles and breathes out a chuckle. She puts her pole on the ground beside her. "Yes."

"Can we kiss?" You ask, looking at your lap.

She doesn't hesitate to put her hand on the back of your head and push you down against the rocks. Her other hand grabs your waist. You're shocked and stare up at her beautiful face. She leans down and presses her lips on yours. They're soft and warm and move so well with yours. You're so nervous and melting into her, your hands stay glued onto the rocks.

She finally pulls away and her hand that's on your waist moves up to your jaw, holding your face still. You breathe out a shaky breath.

"Did I take your breath away?"

Your cheeks turn red and you nod.

"Good." She leans down and kisses you again.

[haleyincarnate]

I don’t talk about how your mother’s name still pops up as a recent contact on Facebook messenger. I don’t talk about how the Christmas tree I bought stands tall in your apartment as a pyre, burning in warm light. I don’t talk about the one-worded replies, the corners of my bedroom you still haunt. I don’t talk about how I will always feel a mother to your dogs. I don’t talk about the plushies won at an arcade sitting in the back window of my car, the Polaroid of us shoved out of sight into the center console. I don’t talk about the bathroom door and the violence it has seen. I don’t talk about my dreams and your hair knotted in my fists like a lifeline, raw desperation to hold on. I don’t talk about how my number in your phone still bears the nickname you gave me. I don’t talk about the wailing my favorite stuffed animal has witnessed. I don’t think about how years and years of love and living can be shrunk down to fit in the palm of my hand, how it has morphed from soft cotton to a shard of glass. I don’t talk about the matching necklaces still hanging on the curtain rod in your bedroom. I don’t talk about one of two identical sweaters hanging deep in the back of my closet. I don’t talk about my mom still buying your dogs presents, my grandparents holding on to a Christmas card for you.  I don’t talk about the ache of loss in my chest but god, is it there. It is there. 

WHAT I DON'T TALK ABOUT (AND OTHER LIES) // Haley Hendrick