#finally wrote some gerry fic!!!

[dirtyslag96]

Idiots in love-James Maguire

Pairing: James Maguire/fem!reader

Rating: PG-16

Words: 1,331 words

Warnings: Fluff, Lying, Curse words, use of Y/N, love interests being idiots in love and oblivious to eachothers love for the other, not proof read

Synopsis: You notice James subtly trying to get your attention and you're not sure why, so you try to find out as you perhaps started developing feelings for the Brit. you're sure of one thing, and that no matter how hard you had tried to lie, he will find out.

a/n: based on prompt #1018 from this list (“Shut up, I’m trying to confess my love to you.”) ". requested by @themallonbisexualmess , also I would appreciate some tips since I'm still new to writing fics, also dialogue between the five will be characterised by the colour, Y/N, Orla, Erin, James, Michelle, Clare

The first day you met James you considered him quite odd, not only because he was English but also he was attending an all girls school and was somehow Michelle Mallon's cousin.

All six of you were sat at Erin and Orla's house after school playing board games when suddenly the home telephone rings.

"would someone go get that its making me deaf for Christ's sake", said Erin.

"Gerry make yourself useful would ya", announced Joe, clearly annoyed by Erin's father.

Gerry looked confused but nevertheless walked over to answer, "Hello?, Yeah she's right here", a couple of seconds later, "I'll let her know"

"Y/N, your parents want you back home in 10 minutes"

"Oh, isn't it a bit early? did they tell you why?", you were confused since it was still 9 o'clock and your parents usually have you curfew by 12.

"No, would you like a ride home?", you never understood why Joe hated Erin's dad so much considering he was the most thoughtful and caring one of all your parents.

"For fuck's sake Y/N did you do something?", Michelle alway commented on everything happening.

"Yeah its a bit weird"

"James, how many times have I told you we do not care"

Seeing James' dissapointed face made you even sadder you were leaving early, though you never understood why your mood also often depended on his. Perhaps you had feelings for him? no, you wouldn't believe it even if you did.

"I'll be on my way then, see you tomorrow", involuntarily you felt yourself looking at James. "Thank you Gerry I would appreciate it if you got me a ride home"

"Bye Y/N!", all of them shouted.

"Finally being useful for once", you heard Joe snicker as you left out the door.

The next day, you had told Clare about it, she said that you definitely have some feelings for him, since you trusted Clare's judgement you've started noticing that James mostly starts conversations directly to you. Clare also had pointed out that when the Ukrainian girl showed up hitting on James, that you had been more closed off and easily exasperated than usual.

The six of you were suspended since Michelle and James had broken the statue "The Child of Prague", while arguing so you all had agreed to meet up at Erin's place for the week. Your mix of emotions towards James had led you to unintentionally start avoiding him, surprisingly Michelle and Clare had been subtly trying push you two together. You speculated that Clare must've told Michelle or that they had also felt a drift between you and James.

Orla pulled out a board game that had the six of you pair up into three teams of two, to decide who would be paired together you all wrote your names at placed it in a random jar that Erin found in the kitchen.

"Orla and...", Clare!", Erin said as she was the one who pulled out the names.

"Interesting..", muttered Orla as Clare took in a loud sigh.

"Y/N and..", "James!", was the universe really fucking with you? you look at him, seeing his happy face made you feel things you never expected to feel for James, then you attempted to avert his gaze but soon enough you looked up to his disappointed and baffled face to why you were trying to avoid him.

Michelle noticed the tension between you two so she broke the deafening silence, "So that leaves me n' you Erin, this is rank".

"Start without me I don't feel well I feel like throwing up, I'll be up in the bathroom", in truth you wanted to be as far away from James as you can so you practically dash upstairs to Erin's toilet. The rest of the five looked quite baffled since nothing seemed wrong with you but you have been acting rather weird these past few days.

You heard a pair of footsteps coming up the stairs and you assumed someone had come up looking for you, you heard a knock on the door, you were praying it wasn't him. But then again you heard knocking again and a voice, James' voice "Y/N are you okay in there?".

You had two options either lie and say you were sick or...

"Y/N!", his voice yet again heard, interrupts your train of thoughts, so you slowly walk over to the bathroom door and open it.

"oh.. hey you said you weren't feeling well so I came up here to check on you but you seem fine right now", right now you couldn't have felt any better since he came up here concerned, the way his hair was ruffled yet tidy, the way his accent affected his words, and his voice.

You remained quiet for a long time, "uh-i guess I didnt need to throw up after all", you said as you tried to push past him to get out of the small bathroom that could have suffocated both of you with the amount of tension in the air.

To your surprise he shifted quickly, blocking you and closing the door acting like a shield. "what-"

"no, I don't get it you've been avoiding me! why? did I do something wrong for fuck's sake Michelle even noticed! she asked if I annoyed you but I would never do it on purpose just please tell what is going on!", his outburst surprised since usually he was quiet and self preserved.

"there's nothing wrong James I don't know where you're getting that idea from"

slowly he stepped forward before he spoke, "you are lying, I can tell-"

"I-, what? this is ridiculous James let me out of here!"

Unbeknownst to the both of you, the rest of the group followed James upstairs and are now listening to your conversation through the door.

"No! not until you tell me what's wrong, have I upset you, , I notice everything about you don't you get it Y/N- ?", his face nearly made you crumble, you felt bad for irritating him as much as you are right know but you are not confessing why you have been avoiding him.

"for crying out loud, no James you haven't upset me in any way shape or form, this is stupid-", you were both cutting each other off, he was not letting you lie, while you were trying not to let him catch on to your feelings.

"Would you shut up, I have been trying to confess my emotions of love to you all week, and you have been simply ignoring that do you know how hurt I felt thinking I had upset you or something!”

You were in genuine shock and you were sure you heard a few gasps from outside the door.

"Do you actually feel that way James? because if so then so do I.."

Like magnets, you both came forward pressing your lips together, you felt him smile. Next thing you know the rest of the girls opened the door and saw both of you, they yelled and talked over eachother at the same time

"OH FINALLY!", exclaimed Clare,

"The form of human art always so interesting", Orla muttered as always,

"Congrats?!", Erin was quite unsure of what to say since she found two of her best friends kissing in her bathroom.

"FINALLY! you two took a long time figuring each other's feelings I was tortured by James talking about you all the time, and Clare the poor girl had to endure you talking about James!", you assumed Michelle would hate the idea of one other bestfriends and her cousin being together.

"What the fuck!", you both yelled while slamming the bathroom door closed and hearing giggles not the other end, you and James looked at each other and started laughing.

"You two get back out here I'm still not a hundred percent on the pair of you, but just because I approve doesn't mean you can start fucking"

"Yeah please not inside of my bathroom either!"

fin.

[irradiatedsnakes]

the Big TMA Furry List

this list with commentary/choice rationale below the cut :] i wrote a lot of thoughts down do please check it out.

jon: common raven

martin: tan jumping spider

sasha: southern flannel moth

not!sasha: red postman

tim: jackson's chameleon

melanie: eastern copperhead

georgie: triceratops horridus

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

jane: cabbage white

michael: spiny softshell turtle

helen: common hermit crab

oliver: black vulture

peter: risso's dolphin

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

jude: black kite

agnes: ???

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

jared: american dog tick

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

dekker: mouflon

gertrude: great tit

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

manuela: gray long-eared bat

rayner: olm

salesa: sea otter

simon: dodo

elaboration below !

jon: common raven

this was a choice i made before i even finished listening to the podcast back in 2020. jon's 1000% a bird to me, and the curious nature of corvids works well here. plus, i think a bird so universally ominous as a raven works perfectly as a horror protag :P i used to draw raven!jon with a couple troodon traits, mostly just cus it was fun, but i wanted to make my designs more grounded for this iteration. made them plantigrade, didn't get silly with body styles like i have with mp100 designs.

martin: tan jumping spider

if you've been here for a while you'll know that my furry martin has gone through about two million iterations. he started off as a european pine marten, to bold jumping spider, to chinese pangolin, to nine-banded armadillo, finally to nurse shark.

out of all of these the spider and the shark are my favorites. i wanted to go back to the jumping spider though- the design is really fun and i wasn't able to get the expressions right, but i'm more confident in my skills now and i'm having fun with the design. i may revisit nurse shark at some point. i switched from bold to tan jumper- i originally chose bold just cus they're my favorite jumper, but their stark black/white and iridescent aqua coloration just doens't work for martin. so, the tan jumper!

sasha: southern flannel moth

another old choice. species chosen because of a friend's fic, pharos by right (another i'm planning to reread now that i'm dipping my toes back into tma..)! southern flannel moths are poofy and orange, and their caterpillars are those super painful teddybear ones. i really like the design.

not!sasha: red postman

wanted to have her be another lepidopteran, and with all the many examples of mimicry among the group i thought red postman was a fun choice. doesn't look anything like a southern flannel moth, but that's sort of the point.

tim: jackson's chameleon

yet another choice from the oldtimes- most of the main characters are, i've mostly switched around the more secondary chars. first suggested, i believe, by @/ofdreamsanddoodles. i think there's something very fun about chameleons being basically a living mood ring & tim's Descent s1-3 showing physcially not just through the worm scars but through like, constant stress coloration during s3.

melanie: eastern copperhead

one of my favorite choices. i have a young copperhead specimen named after her. this one is quite vibes-based, but i do really like the copperhead as a viper that is not deadly. and i'm always a sucker for the "animal perceived as scary and violent that in actuality only strikes when under extreme stress" thing in furry assignments.

georgie: triceratops horridus

another favorite choice. visually, i really like how this works out, and trikes as a social and protective animal works well. she's literally got a shield on her face. horridus was chosen because i like the shape of the head and horns better than prorsus.

basira: domestic cat (calico shorthair)

got a little cat/dog thing going on for dasira. i like the inversion of the usual cat/dog dynamic with their unhealthy devotion instead, and visually it just works very well for them both.

daisy: domestic dog (german shepherd)

yeah i know this one's an exceedingly obvious choice.

elias: barn owl. jonah: eurasian eagle owl.

it's the institute logo! it's him! barn owl for elias specifically because of its very sleek look, designing him went fantastically. also, i can make the eagle owl's face disk work as a mimicry of ben meredith's muttonchops, which i think is a fun design bit to give to magnus.

gerry: domestic dog (black doberman)

certified gerryguy @/gerrydelano's choice. to quote a discord message from 3 years ago (sorry ron): "i feel like.........my INSTINCT is some kind of canine because like. the whole symbolism thing about being either an obedient or rabid dog. something something muzzled all your life. being a dangerous figure if people only see the silhouette but you just want scritches and nobody'll get close enough to you." black dog symbolism + breed which has ears cropped and tail docked, unecessarily molded for a Purpose which the dog has no say in

annabelle: white-booted racket-tail

sort of my original choice- she used to be part white-booted racket-tail, part anna's hummingbird. kept with the racket-tail cus it's fun and very cute. i've had a couple people express surprise that she wasn't a spider, but i think that's way too obvious. hummingbirds, though- they steal the webs of spiders to use as material to make their nests, but can sometimes become trapped in the webs and eaten by the spiders themselves. which is probably the metaphor-via-fursona-assignment i'm most proud of in this whole list

jane: cabbage white

the cabbage white is a butterfly whose caterpillars are routinely parasitized by the parasitoid wasp the white butterfly parasite. in case you're not familiar, parasitoid wasps lay their eggs on (usually) caterpillars, which hatch on the still-living caterpillar, devouring it from the inside before eventually emerging from the consumed husk of the host. also, i really liked the image of parasitoid wasp larvae emerging from an adult butterfly, rather than a caterpillar.

michael: spiny softshell turtle

for michael and helen, i wanted to choose animals which were, in some way, their own home. turtle is an obvious choice- and spiny softshells are a favorite of mine, and sufficiently strange-looking.

helen: common hermit crab

see previous entry. also please google "hermit crab without shell"

oliver: black vulture

bit of an obvious choice, but i adore vultures so i had to. black vulture chosen because i think the monochrome color scheme + straighter face work better than a turkey vulture for him

peter: risso's dolphin

i really like the idea of a cetacean for peter and the lukases as a whole, a famously social animal for the seemingly contradictory nature of this lonely-but-huge family, plus with so many cetaceans being endangered getting that lonely angle (risso's specifically are not, though, as peter is lonely through his own choice, not by circumstance).

mike: caelestiventus hanseni

it's a dimorphodont. he feels like a pterosaur to me, and i like the idea of a vast avatar as a usually short-flying arboreal species, for the unnaturality/contrast of it.

jude: black kite

black kites are one of the species of kites known to intentionally spread fires by picking up burning sticks to flush out prey.

agnes: ???

the only one i'm still undecided on. will update.

nikola: stealing major's carousel horse

i can't top that

jared: american dog tick

great choice from @/magnusarchivememes. Takes Your Blood And Gets So Big

breekon&hope: Hog and/or Bear. you get no more information

vaguely russian animals that are large and imposing but remain somewhat generic. which is the hog and which is the bear is not consistent.

dekker: mouflon

dekker has very much mammal vibes to me. the mouflon is a neat species of wild sheep. i think the noble, imposing but kind image of the ram works well for dekker as that sort of true-good hero figure, and mouflons in particular are very nice looking with good shapes. the statement giver in distant cousin describes dekker as "though he was slightly shorter than I was, it seemed like he towered over me." which i think this sheep works well with.

gertrude: great tit

i wanted all the main eye avatars as birds, just like how i give them all glasses. just a fun little treat for me. great tit was chosen for gertrude as a kind of classic british bird, and as tits in general are VERY fiesty despite their round and adorable appearance. i really like this image of a great tit posing with a dead mouse like it's a hunter with a trophy deer. the cheek markings also work really well to bring to mind the image of old person jowls.

leitner: domestic cat (persian)

vibes. also i like the idea of him as a spoiled domestic animal. if i remember correctly, this was also @/ofdreamsanddoodles' suggestion

manuela: gray long-eared bat

she's a bat. what's to say. WELL actually okay there's the perception of bats as blind but actually having quite good vision which i think meshes in a fun way with the dark, and the way manuela does her sciency stuff.

rayner: olm

i mean, yeah

salesa: sea otter

largely design-oriented, suitably scruffy. ocean animal with strong social bonds, it was a slam dunk soon as i thought of it.

simon: dodo

how couldn't i, come on.

[geniuscomediae]

Hi guys, I wrote a silly tiny self-indulgent gerrymichael fic!

AO3

warnings: internalized transphobia

She is cute and bubbly and shy and lovely, and something feels off about her. Gerry applies all of his knowledge about the supernatural to try and figure out whether something is wrong with her, he tries to warn Gertrude – she brushes his worries off, wich is unusual of her – and even manages to investigate her past and present, but finds nothing. She seems like a normal person, who just so happened to be the youngest and weirdest archival assistant he has ever seen.

Gerry knows she is twenty, – a year and a half older than him – she is both intelligent and academically smart, she likes Shakespeare and ABBA, she likes cats more than dogs and prefers tea over coffee. Digging through everything he can find about her Gerry finds out there were recurring incidents with a strange door in her childhood that almost made her psychiatrist she sees once every three months diagnose her with schizophrenia, but something convinced him otherwise. As far as Gerry is aware, she doesn't know it was the Spiral; she isn't aware of the Dread Powers at all, wich is worrying, because how the fuck didn't Gertrude think about telling her? Girl might be in danger if she's chosen by the Spiral. Gerry feels strange, he wants to protect her, he finds a strange resemblance in her even though they are completely different.

One day he finds her on her break in the library, sitting on the floor with a notebook and doodling. A cup of herbal tea she brings wuth her from home sits beside her, visibly cold and forgotten. He catches a glimpse of a page of her notebook with one name written several times, before she slams it shut and looks up at him, unsuccessfully trying to hide fear and shame.

"Good afternoon, Gerard," – she is, as always, polite and formal, even though they formed some sort of workplace friendship over the year. Gerry wonders if she would be less if he was officially employed, – "did you want something from me? I'm on my break right now, but I will gladly help you."

"No, no, don't worry", he waves his hand dismissively and sits down next to her. She anxiously fixes her sweater and he notices that something is even more off than usually.

"Actually, I'm here to talk. About a serious matter."

"Oh."

She looks almost as if she's in panic. She drags her knees to her chest, and Gerry finally notices what his mind ringed as wrong: it looks... Flatter. Not like she has lost some weight – Gerry doesn't think she should, but she told him once she doesn't feel comfortable in her body – but like something is flattening it.

"I- I didn't-" she stutters and tries to squirm further from him, but he interrupts her.

"It will probably sound invasive, but who is Michael?"

She freezes and he tries to fix whatever damage he has just dealt.

"Look, Curls, I'm an asshole and I work for the paranormal research institute and shit felt wrong about you since the day we met, so I investigated you. I was worried you might be a... a doppelganger, and your remarks about you feeling unwell in your body, and the talk we had about the superpowers and you picking the shapeshifting, and when I was sure you are a normal human being I started worrying you are stalked by something paranormal, and..."

He catches a breath, and she looks at him with wide eyes.

"And if you feel like this Michael, whoever he is, is a danger, you can tell me. Even if he's just a weird guy who makes you uncomfortable. I'm your friend after all, am I not? And... And I like you, and you know I don't give this kind of affection away easily, and I just want you to be safe, okay?"

The silence is almost deafening while she adjusts her glasses.

"Well..." she starts carefully, "You don't have to worry about Michael. And- and about me. I'm just... I don't know."

They sit in sikence again for some time.

"Can I trust you?" she asks suddenly, eyes slightly watery and lips pressed into a thin line.

"Of course. You can trust me with anything, Curls, I'm great at keeping secrets."

"I think I might not be a girl," she mutters, gripping the edge of her sweater. "I always felt good when I was mistaken for a boy. I know I'm soft and I like girly things, and skirts look good on me, and I love my hair long, but I'm just chasing this image of me that strangers will take for a young man and... And I hate my life so much."

He is looking away from Gerry the whole time he is speaking, on the verge of tears and trembling. Gerry reaches out and carefully hugs him, drawing him closer.

"Don't worry, Curls, I know what it feels like."

"Do you... Do you think you should be a girl?" he asks, wiping off tears from his cheeks.

"Holy fuck, no," Gerry laughes, shaking his head. "Been there, done that, not my cup of tea. I'm the same way you are, definitely not a girl."

Gerry feels so easy, almost as if he was drunk. This whole time the strange feeling about his almost-coworker was just a going off trans radar, not a subconscious awareness of paranormal shit or anything like that. He laughes again and pats him on the head.

"So," they say together and both stop, waiting for the other. Gerry gestures, inviting him to continue.

"About you liking me," he mumbles, blushing and looking away again. "Will that change now that you know I'm weird?.."

"Hell no, I like both girls and boys. Actually, I think I only like boys, since I was sure you were a first girl I fell for. Well, silly me. Okay, my turn: I'm not sure if I'm right, but I suppose you'd like me to call you Michael?"

"Yeah," he nods, smiling softly. "I would quite like it."

"So, Michael, are you free tonight?"

[inklingofadream]

Ink's 2023 Fic

It’s the end of another year, and you know what that means! Or you joined me this year and don’t, one of the two. At the end of every year I post a list of everything I wrote to become my blog’s pinned post for the upcoming year. However, this year, it’s a bit different. We’ll get to that in a minute.

According to my AO3 stats, I posted 709,908 words of fic in 2023, across 8 fandoms and spread over 64 individual works. That’s a 765.784% increase in word count from last year! I’m unwell!

Normally, I post everything I wrote, split up by fandom and in chronological order, with basic stats and descriptions that vary between synopsis, liner notes, excerpts, or all of the above. However, 45 of those 64 works were written for Whumptober this year. Since they’re mostly for The Magnus Archives (dominating the list as usual) and many of them are very short, I’m not going to list all the TMA fics. I’ll list my favorites and ones I think got less attention than they deserved, as well as all fics for other fandoms, and since that’s my most popular stuff I’m listing it last/under the cut. Wordcount and relationships (romantic or platonic, healthy or not) are listed, but check the AO3 tags, warnings, and notes, as I won’t be including the content warnings here.

Batman

Mom’s Been On a Parenting Kick Lately- 9k, WIP, Talia/Bruce, Talia & Batkids;This is still getting off the ground (I need to get back to it), but I’m excited about the future of this fic! It’s my take on Jason’s post-resurrection time with the League of Assassins, but with timelines turned into spaghetti to facilitate bonding. Talia is currently in possession of 3 batkids, but she isn’t done stealing Bruce’s kids yet :)

i'd walk a wire, jump through a fire for you- 800, complete; literally just just shy of 1k about Dick have feelings about falling and parents

The Locked Tomb

lyin’ on our backs and countin’ the stars- 900, complete, John&Gideon; I’m actually shocked there aren’t way more John and Gideon “bonding” fics out there. This one also has a backstory for Gideon and Ianthe’s friendship bracelets!

The Adventure Zone- Balance

old worn out suit and shoes- 600, complete, Taako&Lup; Post-finale nightmares for Taako, now that he can remember he has a sister to lose

Malevolent

Please Come Back To Me- 2.9k, complete, Parker&Arthur; Parker lives and goes to hunt down and kill whatever used Arthur to try to kill him.

You’re here. That’s all I need to know.- 300 complete; Arthur finds Faroe in the bath.

Living, Dead, or Undecided?- 1.7k, complete; Arthur is sacrificed to the King in Yellow as punishment for what happened to Faroe.

His head and limbs were heavy with ornaments, much of his flesh left unprotected from the elements. It was far too mild a summer evening for that; he deserved to freeze or burn at the freedom of open air. His thoughts were fuzzy with the overpowering cacophony of scented oils and chanting. He was deposited at the top of the hill, too gentle in slope to burn at his atrophied muscles, on a stone slab. They chained him in place, the seeping stone finally sapping enough warmth from his bones to feel appropriate.

Dracula

i still see your ghost- 200, complete, Jonathan/Mina; Some fill-in angst about Jonathan seeing Dracula on September 22… which I did actually write on September 22.

Hannibal

I can’t remember if I cried- 1.7k, complete, Abigail/Marissa; This is actually a concept I came up with in high school lol. Hopefully, someday I’ll write a fic expanding on the shipping kernel of the concept.

Hench

The Kind of World Where We Belong- 1k, complete, Anna/Quantum; AU where Leviathan dies and femslash ensues.

The Magnus Archives

The Vampire Saga- 68k, 6 works, Jon/Martin; The first of several shared universes with @suttttton on this list. Vampire!Elias snacks on Jon until Vampire!Martin gets hold of him instead, fluff and romance ensue. The new works this year both feature Gerry!

The Vampire Saga Route 2- 38k, 7 works, Jon/Martin, Jon/Elias, Jon/suffering; Shares a few fics with its predecessor, up to Martin entering the picture, this is the darker version. Fic this year mostly focuses on Jon meeting Tim and Sasha, and the gang rescuing Danny from the Circus. And the aftermath thereof. I’m really proud of the Circus stuff I wrote!

Bird-Verse- 37k, 7 works, Jon/Beholding, Jon/Martin;Spin-off of cult au, also with Sutton, featuring a happier resolution to many of Jon’s problems, so he gets to live with all his friends and marry Martin. Except for how this year’s additions are about him dealing with the lingering cult intrusions and trauma :)

Indent AU- 50k, 2 works, Jon/everyone;My first foray into writing smut. I’m very proud of it, and I’d say it deserved more love than it got, but I’m realistic about the content being very much not for everyone.

Cult AU Bad Ending- 9k, 2 works, Jon/Beholding, Jon/Jonah; This is a good time to mention that, as I have 10,000 Cult AU derivatives, they have their own AO3 Collection now. This one is a far future fic where Jon is immortal with Jonah and sad about it. It’s a crier.

Interesting- 3.7k, complete, Jon/Elias, Jon/Martin; This is an old fic of Jon and Elias in the Panopticon that got a new chapter for Whumptober! It took about 2 years to get that draft to publication…

restless soul who always skips town- 900, complete, Jon/Peter; This is the one I most wish got more attention. Peter keeps Jon in the Lonely.

When Peter comes, it's wonderful. Peter is a person in a way the Archivist isn't and, he knows, Peter even sometimes leaves the fog. He knows it because Peter gives him journals that are red and gold and violet, so different from the limited palette of the fog and the Archivist and Peter that they make the Archivist's eyes hurt.

dead if they knew- 6k, complete, Elias/Jon/Tim; I had SO much fun fiddling to differentiate the four POVs from each other!

Familiar AU- 16k, 4 works, complete; Jon is kidnapped by Elias and turned into his familiar; for Sasha, Tim, and Martin, it’s a long, hard road to rescuing him.

no beat, no melody- 600, complete; Canon-compliant fic in between Jon getting the tape of the birthday party from MAG161 and the episode itself, hanging around the safehouse in the Depression Zone.

welcomed you with open doors- 1.6k, complete, Martin/Jon; Spiral!Martin in a role reversal au that swaps him and Michael. Martin is much more proactive as the Distortion (and more liable to fall in love with nearby Archivists)

save some face (you know you’ve only got one)- 1.4k, complete; Sasha is altered by the NotThem instead of killed. Half body horror, half giving her my fibromyalgia, all bad times!

somebody once broke me- 2.7k, complete, Jon&Gerry; Gerry lives! Visibly monstery Avatars! Jon gets kidnapped from a kidnapping! It’s all the hits for my body of work ;)

remember this moment- 3.8k, complete, Jon&Daisy; I initially planned this fic for, I think, Februwhump 2021. It’s been slated for every Februwhump and Whumptober since, and FINALLY finished!

Take Me Through the Darkness- 15k, complete; Superhero AU, ft. epistolary interludes! Several more of my greatest hits! (And also Jon getting kidnapped from another kidnapping.) My personal favorite is Jon thinking Tim is a hallucination and crying.

look upon your greatness (and she’ll send the call out)- 8k, complete; Cult AU AU where Georgie tracks Jon down a few months after his kidnapping.

The chances of Jon being abducted, held somewhere, and still alive are so narrow that they might as well not exist. Checking the resources the charity sent, Georgie realized it's even grimmer than that. She struggles to picture Jon doing anything to appease his captors. It's extremely easy, however, to picture him literally or figuratively daring them to kill him.

Something Wretched About This- 2.9k, complete, Jon&Tim; Jon returns from the Circus without vocal cords, and he and Tim have a moment of peace, if not reconciliation.

just like a real-life thelma and louise- 6.6k, complete, Sasha/Annabelle; Sasha and Annabelle have superpowers and escape from the lab experimenting on them.

Kinky Polychives AU- 70k, 2 works, WIP, Polychives; My second, much fluffier smut verse. I tagged Jon as “horny for predicaments instead of people” and I think it’s the thing that’s been commented on specifically by the most people lol

til the veins run red and blue- 200, complete, Jon/Martin; I really like the Lonely, and I don’t know why I don’t write it more. This one is a little Somewhere Else coda with Jmart

come home (to my heart)- 8.7k, complete, Jon&Gerry; a fusion of Little Archive and cult au where Jon is the specialest boy in the whole Cult of Beholding, and Gerry grew up with Mary. If anything I wrote this year gets a sequel, I think it’s this. The fic is all Gerry POV, but I had a chunk written in Jon POV I cut, ft. Jon convincing Beholding that he can definitely wander London solo and it’s FINE, he won’t disappear in the house of a murderer or anything… ;)

Extras- 18k, Jon/Martin; My fae au is complete, but this is a bunch of little bits that inspired me beyond the bounds of the main story, like meeting Melanie, Martin proposing, and so on.

sitting pretty on the throne, nothing more i want (except to be alone)- 217k, WIP, Jon/Beholding; Cult au wraps up another year! Hopefully, by this time next year, it’ll be complete at LAST!

Beneath the Stains of Time- 98k, WIP; Also a contender for longfic that I hope to finish in 2024! This year, we FINALLY got to the gang figuring out Jon’s identity and now it’s all unraveling…

Little Archive- 85k, WIP; Last but certainly not least! I’ve been so happy to see the warm reception for Cecile and Anika this year 💗

[patchworkgargoyle]

WIP Weekend!

I've been tagged by the lovely Gerry, @steves-strapcollection, and Lui, @spicysix! Thanks pals!! Tbh I get so much writing done with these, I really appreciate it.

THE RULES

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

THE WIPS

i recognise you're a hideous thing inside (steddiebang fic)

mouth of the wolf, eyes of the lamb (kas!eddie)

booty (~new~ and NFSW)

Roll for Perception (Dustin!pov one-shot)

Plagued by Piercings (punk!Steve series)

THE SNIPPET

From i recognise you're a hideous thing inside, a werewolf!monster hunter!Steve and vampire!Eddie AU

How Steve kept glancing at Eddie’s mouth, unable to get the image of his fingers pushing Eddie’s lip back to see his fangs out of his head. Fuck.

Drawing in a sharp breath, Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head rapidly, his hair flying. “Shit,” he whispered. Then, louder, “Fine. Fucking– yeah, alright. Desperate times or whatever.”

Steve stepped forward when Eddie finally beckoned him closer with a resigned wave. “So how does this work? Where do you want me, or–” He paused. Sooner or later Steve was going to kick himself for the shit he says.

Thankfully, Eddie ignored it. “Just sit down, dude. Don’t want you keeling over from blood loss.” His voice was flat, a little gravelly. Steve nodded and sat beside him, waiting, watching Eddie take slow, deliberate breaths.

“We– Chrissy lets me bite her wrist. It shouldn’t hurt, it just makes her feel hazy or kinda sleepy, so, like, you should be fine so long as I control myself,” he said. They might as well have been Steve’s last rites with how grave Eddie sounded. Without knowing how to calm him down, Steve just held out his left hand, wrist up.

“I trust you, man. Go for it.”

Won't tag anyone bc I'm pretty sure everyone I'd tag has already been tagged xD But if you'd like to do it, go do it!! I've tagged you!!

[matchingbatbites]

wip weekend!!

I was tagged by dearest @steves-strapcollection Thank you Gerry!!

RULES

Post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post.

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in or just post.

*Optional: Respond the the ask with the lines you wrote.

WIPS

I am adding an (18+) next to the ones where you could potentially receive porn for your three sentences, just so people are aware <3

concert 2 (18+)

familiar!eddie 🦇

thighs (18+)

Possession 😈

[redacted BigBang fic]

SNIPPET

This is from concert 2 aka and the truth of the matter is

He leans in to kiss Steve again, more gentle than he’s been all evening, and Steve is struck by the sheer, blinding affection he has for this man. He whines when Eddie pulls away with a final peck to his mouth and a soft pat to his cheek.  “Be good and do as I said, baby. I’ll be back.”  And then he’s standing, heading toward the bathroom, and Steve is left on the couch, reeling slightly from how much he needs Eddie. It takes him a moment to pull himself together, and he finally moves when he hears the shower kick on.

Not tagging anyone, but feel free to play if you want to!!

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

8, 15, 30

How slow is a slow burn? Honestly, I don't even like writing kissing scenes most of the time, so ................ SLOW. I love a fraught, feelings-y conversation with maybe the slightest accidental-on-purpose brush of a hand before the characters retreat back into their unspoken yearning. That's kinda my sweet spot. ✌️

What’s your favourite plotless fic you have written? I feel like everything I've ever posted in my life is some degree of plotless, but I really enjoy the pure madness spiral of a little mystery to figure out, wherein Tom Wambsgans goes into a deep paranoid panic to poor Gregory because Roman touched Gerri's blazer. There is exactly one thing happening in this fic, and that's: the stupidest banter you've ever read. Much ado about nothing, as they say!

Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t. I wrote an entire 5k Our Flag Means Death fix-it fic the day after the season one finale dropped in an insane, emotionally damaged haze, but then I couldn't quite fill in a few of the transition scenes, so it sits in my Google Docs unposted and wasting away to this day. Sometimes I still think about filling in those last little blank areas and posting it just as a historical document. We'll see! 🏴‍☠️

Thanks for the asks! :)

[quietwingsinthesky]

I have been tagged by @sugaraddictarchangels! ^-^

Your name: I am Will. Still debating acquiring other names.

Your first fandom(s): HP, but let's not talk about that. The real shit was in the Warriors fandom. I survived wars in there. Cat wars.

Your current fandom(s): Primarily Supernatural. (It's my special interest! I do not have a choice in being here! uwu!) but also, rotating around Mass Effect, Succession, and if Cat succeeds in drawing me back in, I'm gonna end up in my Elder Scrolls phase again.

How did you first get into fandom? Well, you see, I was given far too much unrestricted access to the internet as a child. And I wanted to read Everything.

How long have you been engaging in fandom spaces? Forever? Forever. Long as I can remember, anyway, which to be fair, isn't very long.

How often do you read fanfics? Well, damn, dude, I just set one down to come answer this. (Really though, a lot. Idk I like seeing the blorbos dance. And also I'm still experiencing some burn-out from having to be autistic and in college and such so actual books... no. only blorbo.)

Top three characters from your current fandom(s):

Supernatural: Sam Winchester the most character of all time. Lucifer! Second most character of all time! and rn, Michael. but that third slot is always subject to change. Last week it was Raphael lmao.

Mass Effect: Legion. They're my favorite robot, I want their gender and their name. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, genuinely my favorite teammate and I think she has the best plotline through all three games don't @ me. and hm. hard choice. Joker. Because he is funny. Because his relationship to Shepard is maybe my favorite out of anyone's, even the romance options. (Tiptree + "Anderson told me to take care of you" conversation in my mind always at all times...)

Succession: (okay this is cruel this is actually like asking me to pick a favorite child. but i will.) Shiv my beloved my queen i would die for her. Gerri my other beloved and queen i would also die for her. and Roman, my favorite little guy with everything in the world wrong with him.

Elder Scrolls: Martin Septim & the v specific version of Hero of Kvatch who does mantle Sheogorath, yes, both of them together, they are a set but the point is that they are separated by fate and godhood. and then also Nazeem. because he is funny. I wrote a whole fic about him.

Have you ever written fic for a fandom? YES! someone go read my silly mass effect fic i just wrote i crave attention

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Also yes. I don't post much and what I have I delete later because it's never good enough. i am. hard on my art.

Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: sam is queer of sexuality and trans of gender. end of story. (and the reason I feel strongly about this is people who claim he's 'too boring' to be queer. first of all, you're wrong, he's amazing. second of all, you don't earn queerness by being cool. you just are. fandoms stop treating queerness as a reward for some characters and being cishet as a punishment for others challenge.)

You’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. what episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? Depends on the friend. But I stand by that if you want to infect someone with the spn brainworms, give them a copy of john's journal and watch the rot set in.

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? it's all of us sitting around a campfire sharing insane takes.

I am tagging... hm. @godsprettiestprincess, @synesindri, @archangelsammy, @herefortears, @ladyknightskye, @thnks-fr-th-samulet, and anyone else who wants in. :3

[evanescentjasmine]

For the questions for fic writers - how about 4, 12, and 30?

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

The closest answer to mind right now is probably the name of Grief's daemon in genius loci. It gave me such (forgive me) grief until Riddance just waltzed into my head fully-formed and feral.

Details I actually worked on would probably beeeee...

The narrator voice in my Hades/TMA crossover fic, there is no escape, which had to follow the Hades style while still being horrifying. Deeply pleased with how that came out.

The way urban fantasy protagonist Gerry Keay uses the Fears against each other in my GerryOliver TMA fic, youth dipped in folly. I'm fascinated by the different conceptions of the Fears and how someone outside of the Institute would think of and interact with them, so that was very fun to do.

Most recently, the descriptions in my Daniil timeloop fic, salvage. I'm a writer who frequently forgets that characters don't just exist in a formless void and has to get bonked on the head to describe things, so this is very much a, "look, ma, I did it by myself this time!"

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I haven't written any of these myself (yet?) but hanahaki, a/b/o, and variations of love/fuck or die tropes have historically not been my jam - then I joined horror fandoms and discovered actually these are incredibly tasty to me IF! AND ONLY IF! the horror of it is explored and, preferably, frontloaded. Then I eat that shit up with a spoon.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Related to the above but: r o m a n c e

I can co-write romance just fine, and can enjoy reading it, but left to my own devices in my own fics I tend to...forget it exists? Sex too, sometimes (#aroace brain) which means I don't tend to write ship fics usually, and pairing dynamics tend to be background or off-screen entirely.

My first foray into writing romance by myself was for original work writing and I wrote like six separate romanceable characters in that so woof. It was uh. Painful? And awkward? And I second-guessed myself constantly. Then my GerryOliver fic (although even then my lovely friend and beta had to be like "jas do you think you wanna add some...you know...kissing to this?" and I am eternally thankful) and then -

Well. How it affected my approach to writing fic is a) when I'm outlining I have to look at it and ask myself, did I forget to consider if they have romantic and/or sexual feelings again? and b) how can I use those potential feelings to make everything w o r s e

:D

I'm looking forward to implementing the results of my learning into genius loci before long.

(although, despite being ostensibly a shippy fic, Artemy and Daniil's relationship to each other is still not quite as important as their respective relationships with themselves so. maybe one day I'll write a straight-up romance finally who knows)

[yellowmagicalgirl]

eyes always seeking (just put your sweet lips on my lips)

John is in a fear god-induced coma. Martin wonders if true love's kiss could be real.

I wrote this for crescenttwins for the 2022 Fairy Tale Exchange. Title comes from "Like Real People Do" by Hozier. The first line of the fic is a direct quote from MAG 111: Family Business.

AO3

FFN

“There aren’t any god-like powers of hope, or love, or indigestion, or whatever. At least not that I’ve seen.”

Martin paused the tape. For two and a half months, he’d been listening to old tapes just to hear John’s voice. The fact that Gerard – Gerry, as John had called him the last time Martin had listened to this tape – Keay had been speaking on this one was unintended.

Gerry hadn’t seen any god-like powers of hope or love. Neither had Martin seen any. But they both served the Eye. The Eye, which wasn’t letting John wake up just so that John could be some sort of weird nightmare voyeur, if Elias’s tape was to be believed.

If there were god-like powers of hope or love, the Eye would probably hide the information. But Martin was trained to research.

Melanie and Basira seemed a little surprised to see him going into the office the next day. It was, technically, his day off, which meant he would have normally spent the whole day by John’s bedside. He went off looking for statements, gnawing on his lip as he ignored the feeling of pressure behind his eyes. These probably weren’t statements the Eye wanted him to read.

Good.

Statement of Clotho Fudge. An odd case of the Buried; xe had fallen into a vat of concrete and come out a statue, only for xyr drunk boyfriend to find and kiss xyr statue a year later. That made xem return back to their normal self.

Statement of Flora Graves. Victim of either the Vast or the Lonely or maybe both. Kissing a then-stranger, now-wife at a bar had anchored her enough to heal.

Statement of Oswald Renshaw. After he met a being that had probably been Michael, he had spent three weeks in a coma only to wake up when his wife pressed what was supposed to have been a final goodbye kiss to his mouth.

Three people, awoken by a lover.

It was absolutely incredulous, but Fear Gods exist. Why not this?

Could there be such a thing as true love’s kiss?

Martin had been infatuated with John from the moment Martin had asked for John’s help in finding the dog. The infuriating asshole part of John had worn away at that infatuation over the next several months.

And then John had been oddly kind to Martin after his encounter with Prentiss. And the infatuation had turned to an actual crush. No longer was John just Martin’s handsome jerk boss. He was now someone Martin truly cared about. And those feelings only got stronger. Martin had finally admitted to himself he was in love with John half a week before the Unknowing. There had been no time, of course, to tell him before the Unknowing.

Could there have been? Could there be an eldritch god of love somewhere, who would have intervened had Martin only confessed?

Could there be such a thing as a true love’s kiss?

Martin packed his things and went straight to the hospital.

The woman’s lips bled from where the jagged pieces of her keyboard had cut them. She glared at the Archivist. He merely stared back. She lifted another key to her mouth, sparing a glance to the endless lines of command line text scrolling across her monitor. The edges of the Archivst’s vision blurred, and he found himself standing outside of a flat, knocking at a door. This was odd. The Archivist Knew he did not witness the statement-dreams of the servants of the Eye. Stranger still, the Archivist Knew that this particular statement giver was awake.

The part of the Archivist that was still John wondered if Martin was nearby, even if John hadn’t seen Martin in…

How long had it been? John neither knew nor Knew.

But here, knocking at the door to Martin’s old flat, John felt safe. He felt safe in a way he had come to associate with Martin. The earliest time John could pinpoint definitely feeling this way was when Martin admitted to having lied on his CV. John couldn’t trust anything else, but he could trust Martin.

And that feeling had grown from mere safety to…

One lonely morning in America, John had finally been forced to admit to himself that the feeling had grown from mere safety into love. He loved Martin, and not only as a friend. John was happy with the unlikely friendship he had forged with his assistant, but he wanted more. He had wanted to wake up to Martin’s face instead of the impersonal hotel room. John wanted to kiss Martin good morning.

He had planned to ask Martin on a date after they successfully escaped the Unknowing and Martin and Melanie had taken care of Elias.

Of course, things hadn’t gone they way they were supposed to.

And why would they? Neither John nor Gerry had seen any evidence of a god-like powers of hope or indigestion or anything like that.

The Archivist Knew there were no god-like powers of love.

And then John stopped knocking and put his hand to his mouth, trying to find the source of that wonderful warmth that had touched his lips. But the Archivist Knew there was no escape from the Eye. John knew good things just didn’t happen to him.

What new horror was this?

Martin supposed he was lucky that John hadn’t been intubated. There were oxygen tubes running into his nose, but not his mouth. Nothing could obstruct the kiss.

He supposed he was lucky that nurses rarely came to John’s room. With shaking hands, Martin applied chapstick before he leaned over the sleeping man he loved. If this woke John up, it would be worth it, even if John never wanted to be near Martin again. John would be awake.

Gently, Martin pressed his lips to John’s. John’s lips were cold against Martin’s own.

And then they were warm.

John’s lips were warm and making a startled noise.

Martin pulled away as John’s eyes snapped open. He looked scared. And why wouldn’t he be?

“Sorry, sorry, I mean, I’m not sorry for waking you up, and I didn’t know any other way to do this,” Martin stammered. “I read statements, and it’s been months, but I’m sorry that, er, look. I know we’re both tied to the Institute, but I can try and get transferred to another department? Become Peter Lukas’s personal assistant or something? I’m sorry.”

John looked at Martin for a painfully long moment. “It’s alright, Martin,” he rasped.

“No, it’s not. I mean, I’m glad it worked, but I’m sorry for kissing you. I know that you, er, Basira said that Melanie said that you don’t –“

“I don’t do sex. That’s all. I, um, I enjoy kissing the right person.” John looked away from Martin. “If there’s anything I’m mad at you about, it’s because I won’t remember our kiss because I was asleep for most of it.”

Our kiss. Not our first kiss. Did John think Martin had only kissed him to wake him up, and not also because Martin had been wanting to kiss John for so very long? Did he think that Martin wanted that to be their only kiss?

Martin was in love with such a ridiculous man. It was hard to stop himself from laughing with joy, but he didn’t want John to think Martin was laughing at him.

“Well, um, I’m sorry but I won’t be able to make you be awake for our first kiss,” Martin said. “But want to try a second time, now that you’re awake?”

[bluejayblueskies]

ludus

n. playful or uncommitted love; love that is focused on flirtation, infatuation, and laughter 

Words: 2.0k

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Relationships: Jonathan Sims & Gerry Keay, Jonathan Sims & Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker

Characters: Jonathan Sims, Gerry Keay, Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker, Sasha James

Additional Tags: AU - University, AU - Everyone Lives/No One Dies, Fluff and Humor, Drinking, Alcohol, Queerplatonic Partnership, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character

Summary:

Gerry generally doesn’t frequent pubs like this one, where the wooden table in front of him is sticky enough that his glass pulls slightly against his grip as he lifts it before it unsticks with a wet ripping noise. The pub is a small, dirty thing, aptly named The Rusty Bucket, and apparently, it’s the venue for trivia night every Thursday, of which Jon and his friends are regulars.

Gerry’s never met Jon’s friends. But he supposes there’s a first time for everything.

Read on Ao3

Or, read below (more content warnings below the cut):

cw: - implied drug use - teasing - assumption that an aro character is allo (corrected and apologized for)

.

.

.

Gerry’s never really been one for drinking. For one, he thinks beer is gross (and that a much better use for wheat and yeast is bread, which he very much enjoys and happens to be quite skilled at making), and for two, he’s never quite been able to shake that ingrained notion that drinking is always a precursor to something else.

 Sometimes, that something else is simply being drunk. Sometimes, it’s to loosen up, to make time with friends that much lighter and freer. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes, it’s buying a stranger a drink and punching your number into their phone with fingers made unsteady by liquor. Sometimes, it’s wine on a date, with lips stained a deep red and cheeks flushed only in part due to the alcohol.

 Sometimes, it’s more. And Gerry doesn’t like taking risks that he doesn’t have to. So he generally doesn’t frequent pubs like this one, where the wooden table in front of him is sticky enough that his glass pulls slightly against his grip as he lifts it before it unsticks with a wet ripping noise.

 Gross.

 “You don’t have to come,” Jon had said for what had to have been the fifteenth time, even as they’d caught sight of the pub that sat just a few blocks from campus. It was a small, dirty thing, aptly named The Rusty Bucket, and apparently, it was the venue for trivia night every Thursday, of which Jon and his friends were regulars.

 Right. Jon’s friends. It wasn’t necessarily anyone’s fault that Gerry had yet to meet everyone else who’d left a mark on Jon’s life (though if asked, Gerry would insist that it was his, probably; he wasn’t known for being overly social). It was just different walks of life, different cobblestone paths that happened to intersect in a five-foot-four skinny Pakistani man with wire-rimmed glasses and a perpetual line between his eyes that fell just as easily into a smile as it did a scowl. But now that he had the chance, he found that he wanted to meet them. Maybe it was because Jon had seemed so excited, in his own way, to introduce them to Gerry. Or maybe it was just because Gerry wanted to get to know every part of Jon, to peel back every layer of the man who had wriggled underneath his skin and refused to budge no matter how hard Gerry tried.

 Jon’s friends were one such layer, painted in lovely sunset hues that cast fondness and exasperation across Jon’s face in equal measure whenever he spoke of them. So Gerry wanted to meet them.

 Hell, maybe he’d like them. Jon liked them. And that was one hell of a stamp of approval.

 “I know,” Gerry said. “But I’m here, aren’t I?”

 And the look Jon gave him at that—something profoundly grateful and even more profoundly enamored—shot through Gerry like liquid cocaine. Though if Gertrude ever asks, Gerry certainly has no such metric to know what that would feel like.

 Jon’s presence next to him in the booth is a grounding one, even as Gerry feels himself getting lost in the conversation ebbing and swelling around him like white-crested waves on a sandy shore, like he’s a seashell that’s only kept from washing away by a deft hand that snatches it from the sand and holds it close. Most of the ebb and swell seems to be coming from Tim and Sasha, who bicker like they’ve been married for years but who, according to Jon, have already passed through their will-they-won’t-they stage and have settled quite firmly on won’t-they.

 “Sasha’s aro too,” Jon had said, almost too-casually, as he put away a plate he’d been drying. “And Tim’s ace. A- a bit different than me, though, with regards to…”

 Jon made a vague motion with his hand that Gerry recognized as his sex hand wave, and the giggle that slipped from him unbidden earned him a sharp glare.

 “Sorry, sorry,” Gerry said, his eyes still twinkling with mirth. Then, because he couldn’t quite help himself: “Are you just- just collecting aspec friends? Or is it some sort of magnetic pull? Because I’d like to know if I’m a trophy friend or a hapless victim of your non-sexual magnetism.”

 The wet sponge Jon threw at him was certainly warranted. It did nothing to wipe the smile from Gerry’s face.

 So there’s Tim and Sasha, carrying ninety-five percent of the conversational weight. Martin sits tucked away in a corner, his hands closed around a glass of cola and his mouth curled into a small smile as he watches Tim and Sasha bicker.

 (“I don’t drink,” Martin had explained quickly when Gerry’s eyes had found his glass the first time, throwing the words between them like some sort of barricade. Like it was any of Gerry’s business what Martin did or didn’t drink.

 It certainly made Gerry’s virgin piña colada a lot less humiliating, though it did nothing to diminish the curling embarrassment he’d felt upon ordering it. So Gerry tipped his head toward his own drink and said, “Me either. Virgin in more ways than one.”

 Which was probably not the right thing to say. Oh well.

 Martin’s face had gone cherry red, and the laugh that escaped his lips seemed to take him entirely by surprise. “Oh,” he said, sounding slightly strangled. “I- congratulations?”

 It certainly wasn’t the most awkward exchange Gerry had ever had. But it was up there.

 Gerry took a small sip of his drink and decided that he quite liked Martin Blackwood.)

 Gerry sets his drink back down with a grimace and says, quiet enough that only Jon will hear him, “When is the trivia bit meant to start? I’m dying to put my near-encyclopedic knowledge of 20th-century prose to use.”

 “Need I remind you,” Jon says without taking his eyes away from Tim and Sasha, “that we are both English majors?”

 Gerry knocks his knee against Jon’s under the table. “Guess we’ll just have to see who remembers Dr. Nimeiri’s class better then.”

 Jon groans. “I thought we agreed to never speak about that again.”

 Gerry gives Jon his best shit-eating grin. “And forget the place where we met and our lives were forever changed? Oh, I would never.”

 “One,” Jon says, holding up a finger and finally turning to face Gerry. “One B, Gerry. And it was that fucking class.”

 “Jon, nobody got an A in that class. Nobody. I barely passed.”

 “Yes, well—”

 Gerry raises an eyebrow. Jon’s mouth snaps shut and dips into what Gerry could only describe as a pout. After a moment, where Jon clearly recalls every other version of this conversation they’ve had and the myriad of insensitive things that Jon has said in quick succession, Jon finally sighs and says, “Fine. Trivia’s in thirty minutes, I believe.”

 “Thank you.”

 “Oh, there’s no need to look so smug.”

 It’s about halfway between then and trivia when the conversation finally, inevitably, and quite unfortunately lands squarely on Gerry’s leather-clad shoulders.  

 “So,” Tim says, leaning his elbows on the liquor-sticky table and flashing Gerry a conspiratorial grin. “I think it’s high past time we hear all the sordid details of how Jon managed to convince you to give him the time of day.”

 “Hey,” Jon snaps, giving Tim an impressive glare that bounces harmlessly off Tim’s million-dollar smile.

 “Not much to tell,” Gerry says with a shrug. “Switched majors, took a shitty class, and got a very critical peer review on my first draft paper. Had quite an illuminating conversation with said peer reviewer after class that day, actually. Can’t imagine how that evolved into getting coffee.”

 “You asked me,” Jon says in a sullen voice, looking very much like he’d like to melt into the woodgrains of the seatback behind him.

 “That I did,” Gerry concedes. “What can I say, I’ve got a thing for angry red pen and put-upon posh accents.”

 “For the last time, it is not put upon!”

 Tim’s laughter makes Jon’s lips fold into a pout, and Gerry presses his knee firmly against Jon’s underneath the table. He feels Jon melt against him, just a bit, like a bristling cat brought back to itself by a gentle hand between its ears.

 “So, then,” Sasha asks, pushing into Tim’s space as she leans closer to them with an inquisitive glint to her eyes. “Are you two dating?”

 “Sasha!” Martin squeaks, his eyes wide as saucers as he looks at her like she’d just suggested they all strip down to their socks or something. If Gerry weren’t so used to the question—albeit not directed at him and Jon before—he might have had a similar expression on his face.

 “What?” Sasha says defensively, leaning back slightly and crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s just a question! And a perfectly innocent one at that!”

 “Nothing with you is ever perfectly innocent,” Tim mutters under his breath, which earns him an elbow in the ribs.

 Gerry sighs in something close to resignation. He’d been expecting the question, really; Gerry hated the idea of his identity being spread behind his back like some sort of rumor, so he’d asked Jon to keep it private until he got the chance to disclose it himself. It had gotten a bit more complicated when they’d become queerplatonic partners but only because apparently Jon had a chronic inability to do anything halfway, and that included his relationships. Needless to say, Jon had admitted several hours before they’d arrived at the pub that his friends were all convinced that they were dating and that Jon couldn’t figure out how to correct them without explaining their situation in full.

 So, then. Gerry’s never been the biggest fan of speaking openly about his romantic preferences—or lack thereof, he supposes—but then Jon’s hand is brushing against his arm, the touch feather-light yet grounding all the same, and Gerry finds that the weight on his chest is all but gone.

 “No,” Gerry says. The word doesn’t burn on the way out like he feared it would. “Er. Not romantically, at least.”

 It’s less awkward than he thought it might be—putting the threads that run from Jon’s hands to his into words, skirting around textbook definitions for a bit before finally just biting the bullet and rattling them off rapid-fire, even though he hates how impersonal it all sounds and would much rather focus on how he feels when he sees Jon across the quad or how Jon’s fingers feel against his scalp when he brushes his hair or how Jon snores ever so slightly when he sleeps.

 In the end, Tim just makes some joke about friendship premium subscription, Sasha sheepishly apologizes for having made assumptions, and the conversation is blissfully cut short by the announcement that trivia will be starting in two minutes.

 Gerry’s hand finds Jon’s under the table and squeezes it tightly, just once. A silent thank you. The best I love you that Gerry can think to give right now. Jon’s shoulder knocks against Gerry’s in response, and Gerry thinks, just for a moment, about how fucking lucky he is.

 They end up losing trivia night—1967 is the correct date, Jon kept insisting, even when Tim finally pulled the book up on his phone and informed Jon that he was, in fact, off by a year and was therefore wrong—to Jon’s utter dismay and distress. But the sentiment still stands.

 And when Tim grins at Gerry and says, See you soon!, and Sasha follows up with, Next Thursday for trivia?, and Martin pitches in with a quiet, It was very nice to meet you, Gerry, Gerry doesn’t hate the warm, fuzzy feeling that spreads through him at the knowledge that Jon’s friends like him.

 Two cobblestone paths merge into one, the rocks threading together as easily as Jon’s fingers with Gerry’s, and the road ahead looks like nothing but wide-open sky and glittering stars.

[marlasomething]

MARLA’S 2022 AO3 MASTERLIST

Hello there, Marla here!

This year I won’t be as messy as last year with my writing organisation so I am doing a 2022 Masterlist of everything published on AO3 to be updated as new stuff arrives! Yaih! All my nonsense at your disposition!

And, if you want to see what I wrote the previous year, not to worry, here it is my 2021 AO3 Masterlist

Now, with further ado, allons-y!

Long life and prosperity,

Marla

(The) Amelia Project

Amelia Caller: Dawn of the Characters: script I based my phone call recording ON THE AMELIA FEED on

Manage Your Clon-ishgo: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 1)

This Could Be Me: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Last of the Real Ones: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 2)

The Fools Who Dream: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 3)

Louder than the Weather: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Goodbye To My Life: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 4)

It’s the Hitmen’s Life: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

Fakenniversary: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Day 5)

Everything Just Here All At Once: Cocoa Challenge 2022 (Alternative promp)

ATLA

Go Now:  Zutara Month 2022

This Isn’t My Idea: Zutara Month 2022 

Tea Nation: Zutara Month 2022 

...Let Your Heart Decide?: Zutara Month 2022 

Lonely Nation: High-school AU Zuko-centric

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Little Doll Of Horrors: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

(The) Evil Dead

The Sorta Kinda Winding Road: Original Trilogy + 2013 Film crossover-ish

Fairy Oak

Capitaneando Por Amor: parte de FairyOaktubre22

El Talento De Miss Feli: parte de FairyOaktubre22 

Miss Poppy’s Home For All Animals: parte de FairyOaktubre22 

Aquellos Que Se Fueron: parte de FairyOaktubre22 

Navegando en Dibujos: parte de FairyOaktubre22

Magia Inmortal: parte de FairyOaktubre22

Good Omens

So Unaware Of My Status: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge

The Sound Of Leathered Women!: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge 

Girl With A Tongue: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge 

Non-Favourite Son: A Visit From Miss Crowley Challenge

House of the Dragon

Dragon People: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

IASIP

Philadelphia Un-Daily: +Dracula (novel) part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

Marvel (Mainly MCU based)

A Relic To Be Canonized: Post-MoM Prof. Xavier & Dr. Strange centric

You Didn’t Leave: Post-MoM Wanda-838 centric

Only If You Stay I’ll Be Forgiven: Post-MoM set in 838, a lot of sapphics

Bucky Horror Winning Show: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

OFMD

Hall Away The Lucius: Anne Bonny/Mary Read in our gay pirate show

Cat Sails: Black Sails crossover

New Girl (Sometimes) Anachronism: new member for our fav crew!

Osemanverse

Our Love Is What Killed The Heteronorm: Solitaire ace!Tori-centric

Original Work

2pookyTaletober21: spanish!, ongoing!

Untender Is Revenge: Great Gatsby reletting, spanish!,  ongoing!

Peor Que Ajo: microrrelato

Riordanverse (Mythology Sagas)

Their “House”: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

Stranger Things

Life After Afterlife: Eddie mourning Chrissy

Bag of Bodies: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22

TMA

Republishing in this webpage my adoption!fic-ish A Tight Weird Family (ongoing!): 1.Martin, 2.Georgie,  3.Sasha, 4.Daisy, 5.Gerry, 6.Basira, 7.Tim, 8.Melanie

The Archives Will Listen: ongoing!

Europe Is Living a Celebration (and some Fear Avatars too): written with @khaleesiinatardis

Making A (Cursed) Home: JonGerryMartin series

Finding My Mind: Part of a monthly AU series

Friendshipping Gravity: for @khaleesiinatardis

The Road You Are Going To Take: Part of a monthly AU series

Step by Steps: Burried statement

Louder Than Worlds: JonGerryMartin series

As The Ground Keeps Shifting: for the 1st finale Anniversary

Cabin In The Clouds: study on the Scottish Safehouse as an entity

The Right Boy: part of my monthly AU series

A Weekend In The (Apocalypse) Country: Jmart week 2022

I’ll Be Your Shelter: Jmart week 2022

For My Roomate Is...: Jmart week 2022

If All Was Lost: Jmart week 2022

Is Anyone We Meet Really THat New To Us?: Jmart week 2022

Crazy Notions: Jmart week 2022

My Own With You Each Night: Jmart week 2022

The Work of Three Or Four: Jmart week 2022

Things Beyond Your Ken: Extintion-ist stament ftw Jmart parenting

Beholding Webs: JonGerryMartin series

The Foundations Of Decay: Midnight Mass crossover

Foggy Realizations: Lonely Statement pre-canon

Misplaced: Stranger Statement set in S1

Entangled Road: Web of Fears series (Annabelle+Corruption)

Threads of Obscurity: Web of Fears series (Annabelle+Dark)

Interwined Violence: Web of Fears series (Annabelle+Slaughter)

Eyes Out Of Me: Season 5 Style Statement

Another Student Anthem: part of a monthly AU series

Twistingly We Go Around: part of a monthly AU series

Ghost Archives: part of the Multiship of Madness of 22 

Sharp Therapy: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics

Carnal Solitude: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Callous Distances: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Body Points: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Little Possessiveness: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Crumbling Concert: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

To Hate Them All: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics 

Last Guest For Mister Spider: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics

The Brothers Non-Slayer: part of (my) Mag a Week statement fics

West Side Story

No Happy Somewhere: Riff/Bernardo AU

(The) Witcher

Erasing (Yourself) From The Narrative: how “Burn WitcherButcher Burn”  was born

Wolf 359

Die for Me: + TMA and WTNV

Audrey with a IV: + TMA and WTNV 

Your Natural Tendencies Pay: CW!Alcoholism + TMA and WTNV

Keep On (Un)Living: + TMA and WTNV

[gerrydelano]

Do you have any tma fics with trans femme rep because I would love to read it l. You probs don't remember me but I was the (recently realized transfemme) 16 year old who wanted to play Juliet for school in the comments for tsp it was an eye opener for me, and put alot of complicated feelings to words, I've been on the hunt for more transfemme media in tma fics but I'm find so little😟 so I'd like to believe maybe I'm just looking in the wrong place??

oh goodness hi, i do remember you!!!! this is such a lovely message to receive when i’m always scared of my inbox after making serious posts. i spent the night foraging and i have a good chunk of recs right here for you! 

i’m actually going to say this for people who aren’t aware of the statistics here:

even just searching the tags, there are 474 for “trans male character” but if you search “trans female character” you get 32. out of those, only 20 of them are not explicit, and maybe 10 out of those that aren’t uncomfortable in other ways. combined with looking in the nonbinary tags, we only ended up with 19 recs total, which. is actually devastating and i really hope people realize how much that says about our priorities. we can and must do better. myself included!

for now, i’m going to start with some updates to GTCU fics first to get them out of the way, but i’ve asked my friends for other clean recs to share with you as well! they found things even outside of that tag, so hopefully this helps! i wrote little blurbs under all of them to state just how much focus there is, too.

01. hand in hand [series, complete, by yours truly]

this is the series of oneshots i did for bi jonuary! if TSP was an eye opener for you, and you haven’t seen these yet, there is a lot of discussion of jon’s gender exploration in here and even some closure with his experience in chess! it permeates all seven of the fics as a recurring and purposeful theme.

02. Pharos By Right [series, ongoing, yours truly]

we have four transfem main characters in this series! sasha, gerry, georgie, jon. sasha is a trans woman and it comes up right in chapter 2 of the first installment, but she actively talks about it in chapter 7 when she gives her statement. jon, we already know his backstory, but he’s actually going to end up doing really different stuff in this story because the whole plot is different! georgie, i’ll explain below (so excited about this.)

and gerry, again you know what i did with him in TSP, but here? we get to see sasha is the one who helps him start transitioning, and it’s going to be a major part of things in a different way than before because of that connection. community is everything! my next chapter that i’m currently working on actually literally starts with them celebrating when he starts self-medicating estrogen right then and there in the office LOL. 🥳

03. breathing like i never did [oneshot, TBA, also yours truly]

this fic already featured GTCU-typical transfem jon, but i have a surprise announcement: i’m going to revamp it VERY soon and change it so that georgie is a transfem butch. 

this fic is over a year old, the first one i wrote for this fandom, and since then my HC has changed and i think it’s for the better! this is something you don’t see represented often, and ever since seraf (💙) brought up the HC it’s been living in my brain rent free.

i’ll edit this blurb accordingly when it’s finally changed, but rest assured it’s coming very soon! and already has transfem jon in it to start, so still counts.

04. Sail Close to the Wind [multichap, ongoing, renwhit]

this is the second major installment in ren’s series, come what may, and while you do have to read the other parts to understand the plot, i’m listing it specifically because it actually features a young trans girl, aminah! her transness is actually explored explicitly and explained to callum, the POV character, and she is the best, i love her so much.

the first installment, head in the lion’s mouth, does talk about sasha and joy (one of danny stoker’s friends) being trans women in some aside mentions, but it’s not really enough for me to say “ooh this is a fic with loud transfem rep!” either way, though, they’re included very organically and it’s nice to happen upon when reading, you know?

05. Pendulum (Road to Damascus) [part of a series, complete, renwhit]

in this installment specifically, there are multiple scenes where tim flashes back to knowing sasha in secondary school, and her being a trans girl comes up frequently! especially in relation to her parents being super supportive, him growing out his hair alongside her to help keep eyes off her while she socially transitioned in school, and meeting her again in adulthood when she’s fully come into herself and is more confident. i feel like that would resonate with you! and the whole series is a banger.

OKAY now stuff that isn’t ours but that i trust implicitly.

06. all moments meant to pass [oneshot, complete, seraf]

this is one of seraf’s contributions to the bi jon event! it’s about trans lesbian sasha reaching out to and connecting with jon about gender and ostracization, it’s really soft and honest and beautiful. DEFINITELY give it a read!

07. secondhand nostalgia ( or: prides never attended ) [multichap, ongoing, seraf]

also for bi jonuary! includes trans butch georgie (seraf is the one who pioneered that HC!) and another girlfriend of hers, tasha, who is a trans woman. and the next chapter will include trans sasha, as well!

08. timeline of your tender heart [multichap, complete, verboseDescription]

another bi jonuary, featuring a lot of jon talking about gender! it might not be as hefty as some others listed here, but angel’s writing is soothing and beautiful, and there is gender to be explored.

09. Bailey School Kids [multichap, complete, verboseDescription]

this fic. is one of my cherished, treasured, Most Loved fics of all time about gerry surviving his cancer and living with roommates in america (the same ones mentioned in TSP!) one of gerry’s roommates, basil, is amab nonbinary (mentioned in hand in hand, too!) the other, kira, has a transfem girlfriend, and the two of them do take gerry out to buy skirts after talking about some gender dysphoria he’s been shoving down because he doesn’t think he has time for it given his lifestyle. it’s VERY sweet and i fully recommend it, i hype this fic up so much that it’s leaked into ALL my own work too. 

small break for safe fics that angel found for me while i was asleep. he went through various nonbinary tags to try and find transfem ones! i have not touched any of these and probably wouldn’t have on my own but he vouched that some of them are cute as hell.

10. gender? isn’t that a spice? [oneshot, complete, fuckeliasbouchard]

jon and martin talking about gender!

11. Solidarity [oneshot, complete, schrijverr]

jon working up the nerve to wear a skirt to work!

12. what harm you can help [oneshot, complete, ncfan]

gerry & agnes meeting! him being nb isn’t super relevant, but i hear it’s very nice. i personally love the gerry & agnes strange friendship route, when people actually acknowledge that she’s Old. also this is the longest fic here, i think? about 11k.

13. let you look [oneshot, complete, squipport]

tim helping jon find a dress! pretty short, like most of these are, but sweet.

14. i am the fifth dimension [oneshot, complete, librarby]

jon coming out & pronoun discussion!

15. you can talk to me [oneshot, complete, celosiaa]

mostly trans martin, but does have jon doing genderly things!

16. to noise-making [multichap, complete, mercuryhatter]

gender group hangout! by another friend of mine<3 i haven’t read this but i trust michael’s depictions of gender.

17. centreing [oneshot, complete, HirilElfwraith]

this is about closeted nonbinary jon, but it’s about how he’s actually alright with that and he’s comfortable with himself; he microdosed E in uni, but kept it to himself and is reflecting happily on it! which is honestly a very worthy narrative, as well. i may not write him ever physically transitioning at all myself, but i REALLY respect this take on it and i LOVE to see it.

18. Time to think, to live [multichap, complete, Kitkire]

new addition! it does mention some experiences with transphobia and dysphoria, but this is about jon discovering some stuff with martin during safehouse time!

overall, there are a fair amount of discovery fics for jon out there, i just. don’t tend to read many because they often go with the transmasc jon route and? not my cup of tea, like, at all. but these all seem lovely, and i hope you like them!

though i will say that i. find it kind of uncomfortable that almost all of these are about jon, but there is... virtually nothing for the canon women in the podcast. at all? there’s nothing in this fandom for the girls in general, but like. i’m obviously all for nb jon, but if you’re going to write transfems... you should be thinking about the women who are already there, mate.

this is the link to what i filtered before when searching to try and make it safe; there’s only 11 in here, and some of them are just, not heavily focused on being transfem or anything so i’m not sure what your feelings are.

but here are a few last ditch efforts dfkfhdkjh i am so sorry there are only two that i hadn’t already listed, wasn’t immediately put off by, or that weren’t more focused on someone else.

19. did it hurt (when you fell from heaven)? [multichap, ongoing, Haberdashing]

i haven’t read this one, but i asked a friend to check it out, and they said it’s sweet so far! it’s urban fantasy T4T tim/sasha, and i’m always interested in anything that also incorporates chronic pain into it tbh.

20. avatar groupchat (chapter 20) [multichap, ongoing, gayprophets]

each chapter of this is kind of a stand-alone, so you CAN skip around. it has great reviews and is certifiably hysterical. chapter 20 is like... you know how when you’re trans & talking with friends who are also trans? the chapter isn’t about that necessarily, but it does come up a few times.

also, the whole fic is rated M but it’s just for brief scattered jokes, and there are none that i can see in that chapter in particular.

the trans melanie fics in the search consist of a jonmartin baseball au that doesn’t put any focus on her (angel didn’t even remember her being trans in it, and after skimming there’s only one vague mention), and a really small wtgfs drabble that has zero mention of her being trans, so i didn’t put them here but you can always peek them anyway. not problematic, just not relevant!

sometimes i hesitate to look at people’s trans melanie content in general because it can get dicey in the sense of “why do you see her as trans” given her canon connection to violence, but! i know that it can be done beautifully (namely by transfems) but if you come at it with a focus on her arc about healing, recovery, putting up boundaries, removing herself from situations that hurt her, it has the potential to be so good and i know that max @femmedionysus is going to be writing fic about that for @melaniemonth this upcoming april! keep an eye out for that! i trust max with my life and with my wife.

ADDITION: seraf also writes transfem butch georgie and transmasc femme melanie and that may also come up during april!!!!!!!! it’s AMAZING. those are SUCH cool things to explore, especially considering the “contradictions” most people perceive in those words before really thinking about it. also keep an eye out for that!

g-d, i’m so genuinely disheartened by the ratio here. i don’t mean to sound so defeatist, but i think acknowledging the scarcity here (to anyone else who may have clicked on this, not you, juliet, who has already gone through the search yourself) is important. i’ve contributed to it myself, even if all of my m/m content includes transfem nb guys in some capacity. i need to write more of the girls!

i hope saying this is just an encouragement to write more things you haven’t explored yet, and experience the joy in that!

but back to juliet: there is also always the possibility that people haven’t used that tag/didn’t tag it at all! that does lead me to believe it wouldn’t have been a focal point anyway, but i know i’ve forgotten before, too. maybe if you search “trans [character]” individually you might find stuff, too! that’s how i tagged sasha in mine before i realized i should put it in the broader tag, as well.

either way, i really hope that there’s at least one thing on here that you haven’t already read. i’m glad to see you’re still around, i hope you’ve been well! 🧡

if anyone has other fic recs with a focus on transfem characters that explore their experience that i missed, please link it in the replies!

but keep in mind the parameters by which i narrowed these down to begin with. if you rec proship content, i will throw rocks at you. love and light <3

[crazyassmurdererwall]

The fics that i associate with your username are "don't know what i'm supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you)" and "stuck in reverse" they're both so good and I adore them!💗💗💗

i would suspect that those are the two fics most people think of when they think of me, and i'm not mad about that

don't know what i'm supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you)

+ this fic came about originally as an idea for another character in another fandom but it never seemed to work. but when i switched this over to stiles it just started to flow

+ zeke was originally a much smaller part of this fic - he just appeared a couple times. but as i started going through one of my final re-reads, trying to figure out why the fic wasn't quite working, why something wasn't quite right, i eventually realized that the reason was because zeke wasn't in it enough, he wasn't a big enough part of the story. i realized he was the anchor of the fic. so i fleshed him out a little more, and made sure he was laced in throughout the whole story. once i did that, everything started to work.

+ i think i had a low grade headache the whole time i was writing this fic, no lie.

+ i always, always knew that talia was going to show up, but for a little while i tossed around the idea of laura appearing too. i quickly realized that i didn't want to do that, that i wanted laura to have peace in her death.

+ gerry was named after one of my former bosses. real life gerry is a very nice man.

+ raley's is an actual grocery store chain in northern california, and the first one is in the town i live in. the town i live in is supposed to be right where teen wolf is located.

+ stiles doesn't realize it, but by the end of this fic zeke could leave if he wanted to at any time. he chooses not to, because he didn't get to choose his life when he was alive, and he got less than he wanted or felt he deserved, but now he gets to choose and he's choosing to stay with stiles, who he considers to be the only family he's ever had.

+ i cried when i wrote the scene between talia and derek.

stuck in reverse

+ cora was originally supposed to appear - i had a small subplot planned and she was supposed to appear at the very end of the fic - but i scrapped it because it would mean reworking the fic in certain sections and eventually i felt it was stronger without it being changed.

+ there were two scenes originally for this fic: the one where stiles goes to derek and offers to be his person, and the one where scott walks in on derek and stiles having sex.

+ this fic was, in a way, me working through my issues with the way the show handled scott's character. i'm not a fan of the character, really, and so i usually choose to avoid writing him, but since this fic was a canon fix-it, of sorts, i thought it was important to address his characterization so stiles could move forward and so scott could get some ACTUAL CHARACTERIZATION with genuine development and not the 'he can do no wrong' bs that the show gave him.

+ jackson might have been telling a joke but he was right: circe and cassandra's parents ARE named hecate and merlin

+ the number of people killed by sharks statistic is accurate - or it was when i wrote it. it might be different now. that seemed like the kind of thing stiles would just KNOW.

+ i like to imagine that the petrified troll becomes a favorite hangout spot for local teenagers. they think some artist just put it there one day.

+ this wasn't the first time i wrote jackson as stiles' best friend - that was in little boy lost, which was the first teen wolf fic i wrote - but i really fell in love with writing him here. i don't think i was expecting to fall as much in love with stackson brotp as i did, and he became so central to the fic: he became stiles' person, while stiles was becoming derek's. that took me by surprise.

+ the aquarium that stiles and allison go to on their day off is inspired by the monterey bay aquarium.

[yellowocaballero]

Ok I’ve heard it but can I ask for the directors commentary on suckers bet bc if you could marry fanfic I’d be on the way to Las Vegas

You know, I filled out an application to University of Nevada, Las Vegas, today. You wanna do that? It's either the Irish Abbey or Vegas so pick one.

“Right. So, Jon, now that we’re all gathered here, I’d like to say something.” Melanie turned to Georgie, expression very intense. “Georgie, you’re a wonderful girlfriend and I love you. I, however, do not want to have sex anymore. It is now permanently off the table.”

Both Jon and Georgie were similarly shocked by this, but Georgie just ended up nodding dumbly. “Uh, alright? I love you too. That’s no problem.”

“Great.” Melanie turned back to Jon. “That was a totally made up scenario, and you obviously know that. But I’m like 99.9% sure that if I ever actually said that to Georgie, that’s exactly what she’d say. We’d have to talk about it like adults, but she’d never do anything that would make me uncomfortable. How do you think she’d feel if I didn’t want to have sex and we did sex anyway?”

“I’d feel terrible!” Georgie said heatedly. “I’d never forgive myself!”

And that entire convo, basically. You can tell I wrote that fic right after Solitaire because Melanie just kicks down the door and starts giving therapy lol.

But this scene in particular is actually a very direct commentary on a lot of things. I had some people surprised that Jon had never heard of asexuality before, which I do get - but I have met a lot of people who don't know what asexuality is, especially men around 30, so I do not think it's out of the realm of imagination. Gerry...Gerry would have probably known, lol, but...

I left it a little understated, but these characters live in a romcom universe. Many things in this fic happen because that is what happens in romcoms. There is only heterosexuality in romcoms, or at least in the main ship. There's the shovel talk, there's the dramatic reveal. These things not only narratively have to happen, but they practically railroad the characters into these events - and then the story breaks that down into seeing the effects. The fic is a deconstruction of romcoms, yeah, but it does still take place within that system. And the characters suffer for it.

Melanie breaks through all of that because of her role as an outsider - every character is written with a stock analogue except for Melanie. The last scene's burst the bubble, and she's dragged us into the real world. Jon has been completely stripped of all artifice, and all that he's left with is the ugly reality - the reality that, finally, has a place for him.

Now that Jon can no longer be perfect, he can be himself. That's pretty great to me!

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Ah, 17 and 19 for the ask thingie

I am VERY LATE on answering this ask from an ask game i did like. a month ago. but i scrolled back and found the ask game and am answering now. I'm assuming this is about nhthcth because that was what the rest of the asks i got for during that ask game was about.

17. What was the hardest scene to write?

the entire chapter where jon and gerry had run away. that was hard because it was a very necessary emotional sojourn, but there wasn't anything definitive on the plot side to move forward. it was kind of like an island? it had to exist, but it existed separate from the rest of the plot. it was an entirely emotional, internal journey that shaped the characters, which is a lot harder than having external forces confront the characters, because when i'm doing plot heavy stuff i can just make a clown appear and we get where we need to go. i was purely balancing the characters themselves and couldn't supplement the chapter it with any kind of external excitement, so it was a lot harder to write and keep interesting

19. Is this one of your personal favorite fics? Why or why not?

nhthcth will always have a very important place in my heart. it's definitely one of my favorites. It is the first fic that I ever came up with for tma, and i won't say it's the one that's farthest from canon--i've definitely gone farther from canon with some of the stuff i came up with for tma and just. never wrote.--but it is one of the ones i liked the most. it was just fun to come up with? There's so many twists and turns that i can't wait to show everyone else. i'm really, truly proud of nhthcth, and i had so much fun coming up with it. i hope that, when it's finally done, everyone else will love the story as much as i do.