Bean duine briste
(Wife of a Broken Man)
Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser x Female OC
*I own only the OC, all other characters belong to the creators of Outlander*
Summery:
Having served with Claire as a nurse in WWII, Isla went with Claire and Frank to Scotland to see her mother’s home country. Her aunt Mrs.Baird told her stories of the stones and both Isla and Claire went to see for themselves the magic of the place. Neither expected to be transported 200 years into the past, nor did they expect to fall for rough and ruggedly handsome highlanders.
Will the women get back to their time and the loved ones they left behind, or will they fall too deeply into the strong arms of our favorite Fraser men?
18+ to Read!! (There will be smut down the road!)
Chapter 1:
One the road Claire and Isla traveled from village to village with the rent party. Slowly it dawned on the women that the men they were accompanying were more than just rent collectors, they were in fact Jacobites, supporters of the Stuart prince across the sea.
Night after night Dougal made a show of ripping off Jamie’s shirt to use his scars for their cause, horrifying Isla more that Claire, as she had never seen these scars and wasn’t told the story of his whipping. That first night when Dougal threw the shirt at Claire to mend and she fought him, Isla grabbed it and mended it instead without saying a word. Murtagh was grateful for her kindness and often started to show her small acts of kindness as thanks, after all, Jamie was the man’s heart and soul. So any act towards Jamie affected him greatly.
Every night throughout their journey Isla would mend the torn shirt and find small gifts the next morning. One day it was a few ripe apples and pears, another morning she found a bushel of heather flowers next to her pillow. It wasn’t until one morning, when she woke up to the smell of roasting meat, that she realized who was leaving these sweet gifts. Murtagh finished roasting the freshly caught duck and plated the bird just for her, finally thanking her verbally for the kindness and compassion she was showing his godson. He told her about the incident back at Lallybroch, the attack on young Jenny, the whipping, and the consequent death of Jamie’s father at the sight of it. Isla understood a little more of the stoic and quiet man after he shared the story, she realized the man held a strong love and loyalty to the young man who he followed everywhere.
They all continued their travels for a few more weeks, Claire tending to minor wounds with Isla’s help. Isla continued to mend the shirt when it was torn, and Murtagh spent more time with Isla, sharing meals and stories, until the day the English officer showed up at one of the villages. Claire had gotten drunk with some of the local wives and had made a scene trying to steal a goat back from the rents to help a mother feed her baby. And that was how Dougal arrived with Claire and Isla in the company of British officers telling stories of how they came to Scotland, planning their journey home. A plan cut short by the appearance of Black Jack himself.
Once again attacked by the vicious man, Claire being almost assaulted again, and Isla bruised and concussed. Dougal stormed in and took them away, stopping at a stream to make the women drink from a foul smelling river. Isla recognized it as the truth river, lies were said to burn the throat once one drinks from the stream. They both drank and both told him that they were not spies and simply came here by accident. Dougal, finally believing them, told them the only solution he could think of for their current predicament, for the two woman to marry Scotsmen and become Scottish citizens.
Back at the camp the other men are made aware of what happened….
“So, I have made up my mind about Mrs, Beauchamp, Jamie you will marry the lass. She’s a good woman, smart and Bonnie. And I ken ye are fond of the lass.” Dougal told Jamie, causing a blush to form on his face and the teasing laughs from the other men as they had all seen his interest in her.
“As for Ms Burns…” Dougal starts “I’ll marry the lass” Murtagh interrupts, staring expressionless at the chieftain.
“Will ye now? Well, I guess that will do fine, if the lass will have ye.” Surprised that the stoic man would take an interest in marrying a woman, after all, he had see murtagh fawn over his sister Ellen for years. It was hard to imagine another capturing his heart in the same way.
Across the field Claire and Isla sat discussing the new turn their lives were about to take.
“I feel like I am betraying Frank.” Isla’s heart broke for Claire, she had after all met frank and knew of the love they had shared. But it was looking more and more like they would never make it home to their own time. Isla knew that living in the past meant that they needed protection, and the only way to get that now was a husband. Isla had also seen the glances shared by Claire and her soon to be husband, knew that they could grow to love one another and be happy, which is all she wanted for her friend.
“Claire, Jamie is a kind and caring man, he would never hurt you and he’d continue to protect you. I know you love Frank, and he loves you, which is why he would understand. Frank researched this time, it was his specialty, and he would understand that the only way for you to stay alive and safe is to marry someone else. The man would move heaven and earth to keep you safe, he would want this for you.”
“What about you? You never mentioned anyone, is there someone you had back home? A man waiting for you?”
“God no! I’ve actually never been in a serious relationship, I’ve had the odd date here and there, but it never really went anywhere. None of them struck that spark, you know?”
“I do. Do you know who Dougal picked for you by chance? I didn’t hear him say.”
“No, he didn’t. At least you already know who you’re husband is going to be. And you know what to expect, I’ve never been with a man intimately, and now I don’t even know who I will be expected to sleep with.” A blush rose in her cheeks at the thought of a certain rugged highlander in her bed.
A silence lulled between the women, which shortly after was interrupted by Jamie and Murtagh walking towards them across the field.
“May I have a word lass?” Murtagh’s asked Isla causing her blush to deepen.
“Of course, I’ll talk to you later Claire.” She followed Murtagh into the near by woods, heart racing trying to keep her emotions and hopes in check.
“What is it Murtagh? Is something wrong? Did Jamie not agree to marry…”
“No lass, it’s not about that. Jamie will marry Claire, he agrees tis a good match. And he is ver’a fond of the lass.” He cleared his throat and stared fidgeting with his hands nervously.
“What’s wrong Murtagh?”
“It’s actually yer predicament which I wished to discuss Ms Burns.” Her brows creased questioningly at the sudden formality. “I wish to offer my hand as the solution to your problem. If ye would have me, I’d me honored to have ye as my bride.” A blush rose on his face so deep it was vibrant through his dark beard.
“Why are you offering Murtagh? Not that It is an unwelcome offer, quite the opposite actually.” His eyes widen in shock, believing that she would reject his offer, “But I will not say yes if you are doing this purely for kindness, like all the gifts you have given me.” Isla felt like she had just put her foot in her mouth and ruined her chance of getting the man she wanted, but she needed to know that he was choosing her for the right reasons.
“Isla, lass, have ye not realized? I have wanted ye since the night I first saw ye. “He grabs her chin and makes her look him in the eye. “Bonnie thing, with curves in all the right places, with that giant backside pressed right against me rocking the whole ride home” he growls stirring something in her. “Mind ye, it’s not just yer body I want, no lass, ye have made me want yer heart as ye have clearly stolen away wi’ mine. Yer kindness, to even the most cruel and distant of strangers. That someone would heal her captures and help a man w’out asking of his past.” His rough hand caresses her cheek as her eyes stared at him, with pure love and adoration, tear up at his sudden declarations.
“Isla, If ye will have me, I will protect ye and love ye, as I ne’er thought I’d love again. If ye say yes, ye will have all o’ me. What do ye say lass?” His eyes travel from her eyes to her lips, waiting for her answer. She leans in to him, like magnets they come together, their lips barely touching.
“Yes” he crushes her body to him as he passionately kisses her. She responds in kind one hand on his neck, the other combing up into his hair pulling him closer still. His hands wander along her curves, on her lower back in an attempt to bring her closer yet, while his other hand traveled further south over her hip and cupping her buttock firmly, causing a yelp which he happily devoured from her lips.
Reluctantly he pulled himself away, laughing at her lips chasing his. A blush deepening to a vibrant rose on her cheeks and a glazed look in her eyes.
“Dinna fash lass, ye will get more soon. But ye will be mine when ye do, and ye will no’ be leaving my side once ye are.” Murtagh whispers in her ear making her shiver and clench her thighs. Her response didn’t escape his notice, and his eyes darkened with lust at just how responsive his little bunny really was.
“Let’s get back to everyone and plan the joint ceremony, shall we lass?” Isla nodded and followed Murtagh back towards the clearing when they planned a joint ceremony with Jamie, Claire hiding somewhere until she had to be married the next day.
See you at the wedding….
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salt, ice and fire
chapter twenty one - push and pull
frank castle x fem!reader
warnings: swearing, canon typical violence, mentions of death, scars, injuries, franks a bit of a dick, then he’s sad?
a/n: i’m SORRY. i am a horrible human. this took so long and i have no idea if it’s worth it. But it needed so much editing i swear if you read the first thing i wrote you’d puke. i hope you enjoy bc i love writing angry frank and reader lmao.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“You can’t go.” You hear Matt say, but you can’t take your eyes off Frank.
“You gonna stop me?” Frank growls back, stepping to put himself between the two of you. To his credit, the lawyer doesn’t seem intimidated, more just pissed off.
“You? I don’t care what you do— but I made a promise to that kid outside and to your girlfriend that I’d do whatever it took to help her, and I’m not letting you ruin it because you want to let off steam and kill someone.”
“You do your job, I’ll do mine.” Frank says. Matt scoffs, shaking his head.
“You make my job pretty difficult if you go and play Bonnie and Clyde all through the capital. Bobby Gnucci is on the FBI’s most wanted list, and with everything going on in the past six months, it’s too risky. Not to mention Madani, who’s giving you one shot at living a semi-normal life.” Matt turns to you now, face angled in your direction over Franks shoulder. “If you know where he is, we can use him. Make him answer for the things he’s done to you, and what he’s probably doing to others.”
Your heart was slamming in your chest, and now Frank had turned to look at you. Almost like he expected you to know what you wanted. You thought you would want him dead. You want him to suffer, to watch him die the way he made you watch hundreds of others die; at your hands. But what Matt was saying made sense, too. With Bobby alive, if you could get him to Madani, maybe your own freedom was still on the table.
It seemed like the biggest problem you faced right now was figuring out how to stay anonymous. You couldn’t risk your enemies finding out who you were, let alone finding out you had a brother. Keeping your faces out of the public eye meant if you brought Bobby in, no one would be chasing you. One more loose end to tie up.
“If I— if we brought Bobby back here, would that mean there wouldn’t be a trial?” Frank walks out of your view, shaking his head, and you hear a door close softly behind you. Your heart pulls, but Matt starts talking before you can follow him.
“It’d be the trial of the decade, but you would be kept out of it. You’d be a key witness, and I can guarantee both you and your brother would be anonymous since you wouldn’t be on the stand. Plus, Madani can cover her ass and keep your face out of it completely.” It all sounds like something out of a dream you had, something so far off but now it was right in front of you. “It’ll be like you were never there.”
Another door opens, and your brother comes through, smiling. Like, really smiling. Taking in a deep breath, the idea of having options for freedom should feel like a weight off your chest— instead, it only makes you feel heavier.
“I… I need—“
“Take some time. We have a little bit now, if you really know where he is.” Matt nods knowingly, and you hear the distracted talking of Karen and your brother on the couch. He looks at you and smiles again, and you return it.
“He’ll be there.” You were certain of it. “I should…” Your head nods to the now closed door of Matt’s room, and he smirks.
“Good luck with that.” An exhausted laugh cracks it’s way out of your throat as you head towards the door.
When you open it, Frank is pacing on the opposite side of the room. He’s walking slow, but it’s one of the few times you’ve seen his hands anything but steady. When the door clicks shut behind you, he stops, looking up and keeping the distance of the double bed between you.
“We are not playing that game again.” Frank says, looking you dead in the eye.
“Frank, this is not a game.”
“It’s a fuckin’ joke.”
“This is a chance at a real life, and you might not like it— fuck, I hate it, but these things are gonna happen. You knew involving Madani would come at a cost, and this is it.”
“So this whole thing is my fucking fault?” Your head falls back, staring at the ceiling— it was like talking to a wall.
“No. I didn’t say that.”
“You remember the last time you had the bright idea to take someone hostage?” He steps back, leaning against the wall, and your mind flashes to the Colonel. Whole lot of good that did you. “We spent twenty four hours hauling that piece of shit in the back of a car, and he gave us nothing. Instead, he lead his men straight to you, and we ended up killing him anyways.”
“I know—“
“So you think now that Murdocks flashing a brief case and a few pretty words that all this ends with him in prison?” Anger dripped from every word, but you couldn’t feel his words hitting you. He wasn’t angry at you— it was something else. “None of this ends until Gnucci and every one of his men are dead and buried. I’m not risking your life because you want to play nice all of a sudden.”
“Frank, don’t—“
“No. I know how this shit goes, and if he’s not dead, it’s not over. You’ve already killed for this guy a hundred times over, and now you have the chance to get your own back and protect your brother, you’re not going to take it? You didn’t have a problem taking down the Colonel—“
“You shut the fuck up right now!” You spit, fists clenched hard. The sharp points of your nails come out against your will, digging into the flesh of your palm so hard you can feel blood pooling. “Who the fuck do you think you are, throwing that back in my face!? When you know exactly how much I have to get him back, you fucking prick!”
“That’s —“
“Shut up! This is my chance— my fucking chance. This is what I have to do. You don’t think I want him dead? You don’t think I fucking dreamed about it every day for years on end? I want him mounted on my god damn wall— but if it’s at the cost of my brothers shot at a free life away from all this, then I will cart Bobby’s ass across the country if I have to. I’m not saying we don’t take as many of his fucking guys down with us, but if they need Bobby to give Sam a chance to live like a normal kid, I’m doing it.” The gasping of both of your heated breaths is the only sound in the room, and Franks jaw stays shut tightly. “You heard what Matt said. If we can bring him here, we can do this quietly. I know you care about Sam, you wouldn’t have taken him in if you didn’t, and I know you care about Madani, and what happens to her.”
“I don’t give a fuck about any of this if Bobby Gnucci gets to live.” Like a gun had went off, you take a step back. It was probably the most selfish thing you’d heard him say since you met him. 
“That’s a lie, and you know it.”
“I’m not letting you do this.” He ignores your comment, his eyes going out of focus for a second.
“And me? If this is what I want?” He shakes his head, suddenly quiet. “I don’t want to live my life like this, Frank. I don’t want to run from people, or pretend to be legally dead. I want a—“
“A normal life. Yeah.” He sits on the floor, not looking at you. “I get it.”
“Nothing about my life is normal. I just… I want to not be worried my brothers going to die every god damn day! He was— I was never meant for a life like this. If I kill Bobby, I replace his men with the FBI, and everything he wanted to happen, happens anyway. Even if Madani fakes our death like you said, I have too many enemies, too many people that I’ve fucked with to be put in a globally accessible system like that. They’d come for me. For Sam!” You take a step around the bed, your voice getting softer as you try to take a few breaths and calm yourself down. “They’d come for you, and I can’t have that, even if you hate me for it.”
“I can handle my own shit.”
“I’m not saying you can’t, but this isn’t just New York. There’s thousands of them. It’s… you know what I did to them.” He doesn’t say anything, staring down at the floor. His head was in his hands, and even though Frank Castle was the silent type, something about this was unnerving. He was still half obstructed by the bed, but you couldn’t tell if taking a step forward would make him back up or come closer to you. You hadn’t yelled at each other like this since those shitty hotels you stayed in when you first met, and it left an acidic taste in your mouth.
“Guys like that don’t get to live. That’s not what I do.” Frank says finally, his voice muffled in his hands.
“I know. It’s not what I do, either. Like you said, I’ve killed for him a thousand times. Why should I change now?” It comes out more bitter than it should have, and Frank says something but you don’t hear it. “This is my chance to start fresh.”
“Fresh.” He grates, still not looking up. “You go get your fresh fuckin’ start.”
“Look at me.” He does, and then he finally stands up. In two, slow steps he clears the space between you. His face was hard, and he was breathing slow, like he was trying to keep himself controlled.
“You go. Get your fresh start, get your ass to Paris or wherever the hell you want to go and put all this behind you. You were never meant for this shit, right?” You blink a few times, trying to comprehend the sight before you. His eyes were a little red, and some look you hadn’t seen ever before is on his face.
“What are you talking about?”
“This is all I got! This— all this blood on your hands? It’s on mine too, but I don’t have a choice. There’s no way out. Killing Bobby is the only thing I can give you, and if that’s not what you want anymore than what the fuck are we doing?” His voice cracked, and even with all the shit he was saying your heart still broke hearing him sound like that. “This is the kind of man I am. I won’t keep your brother safe, and I’m not going to hold your fucking hand while we cart around assholes like Bobby Gnucci. I’m going to kill him— and I’m not changing my fucking mind.”
He was breathing so quick you thought he might pass out. Practically shaking, he held his ground, and you tried to drown out the sound of the TV getting louder outside. Frank must of been yelling, or at least talking loud enough for them to need to drown him out. You could see the regret in his face, in how he was practically folding in on himself, waiting for you to walk out on him. Instead, you stepped forward.
“No, you won’t.” His face was nearly touching yours, he was that close.
“No? You don’t know shit about me, then.” His voice was deadly soft. A strained whisper, voice breaking just a little. “This shit is real for me. You might not of wanted this— but I do. This is who I chose to be, and I’m not changing now.”
“I’m not asking you to change. I’m asking you to—“
“To what? Be your lap dog? Follow you around until you get bored of running? Cause I don’t get an immunity deal with the FEDS or a shiny new lawyer. This is all I got, sweetheart.” He was being mean, and any other day you’d throw it back to him, drop to his level, but his face right now was unlike you’d ever seen.
There was half of you that wanted to fight him. Throw as much venom back as he was spitting at you, be cruel and vindictive, and Hell— maybe there was a small voice in your head telling you to leave and finish this yourself. But the majority of you, the part that’s thawed out over these past few months with him knows that isn’t what he needs right now, and it isn’t what you really want. You tried to channel what he did that day in the hotel. Let him yell as much as he needed, and be there to pick up the pieces.
“I’m asking you to do this with me.” Your hands cup his face, and for a split second his eyes close, then open wide, still lined with rage.
“I can’t.” He tries to slip away but you hold him tight, fingertips borderline painful with their grip on him. He stops pulling when he feels you’re not going to let go. “I can’t let him go alive.”
“Yeah you can. You did it once before.”
“That was different. He didn’t…” Frank looks away from your eyes, at the little scar on your forehead, now completely healed. “The shit he did to you? You want me to let him go, baby?”
“Frank.” You sigh. Your shoulders sag, thumb tracing over his cheekbones.
“Christ. Fuck, I’m sorry. Let’s get out of here, we’ll get back to—“
“Do you love me?” He squeezes him eyes shut, like the question is as painful as a punch in the gut. “Frank, do you love me?”
“Fuck.” He hisses. “Don’t ask me that. Not now.”
“Too fucking bad. Answer me.” Your heart drops to your feet, terrified to hear the answer if it’s not the one you’re waiting for.
“Yeah. Yes. Yes.” Your thumb wipes away the tear on his cheek, keeping him steady as he nods. “Yes.”
“Then do this with me. We bring him back, together.” He was still nodding, eyes tightly shut, leaning against you like he’d break apart. “And Frank? This… this is not all you are.”
“Stop.” He whispers, the softness of it cracking away the hardest parts of you, turning them to warm tides. He was already shaking his head when you starting talking.
“You kept Sam safe. You did. You are that kind of man— and killing people is not all you are. It’s… that’s all I thought I was. For a long time, I thought I was a monster.” His hands grip your waist, and he leans into you further. “But you showed me I don’t have to be that. That I had choices, even if they were small. You told me I could make my own decisions, that I didn’t have to be what they made me— what I made myself into. And then, when you told me I could leave, I chose you. I chose to stay. Nothing will change that. No matter what happens next, even if you can’t do this with me, I will follow you anywhere you let me.”
“I can’t give you what you want.” You lean up on your toes and kiss his forehead lightly. “This will end for you, but it never ends for me. There ain’t a happy ending for this.”
“I don’t care. You are what I want. Even when this ends, I chose to stay. I want this, and whatever comes next. I just want you.” He hauls you to his mouth, the taste of salt and him mixing on your tongue. The kiss is desperate and pleading— apologetic and searching for forgiveness, and you give it. You could take whatever words he’d throw at you, like he would take yours. You were both stubborn and volatile and mean but it didn’t matter, because you were both here, and there wasn’t a single thing in the world that would trump the feeling of his mouth on yours.
You both only pull away when your gasping for air, one of Franks hands tangled in your hair while the other is wrapped snug around your waist. His eyes were still closed, almost like he was afraid to open them, but when he was ready you met them, like an equal. A team.
“We bring him back, alive. Kill the rest.” Frank says into your mouth and you nod.
“Burn that shit to the ground.” You say in earnest. You want that place destroyed— the lower levels were like the levels of Hell itself, and you wanted to make sure no one would ever see those walls again. “Sam—“
“Stays. If we aren’t cleaning house in Washington, he stays far away.” Frank says, and you roll your eyes.
“I was going to say that.”
“Were you?”
“Well, I don’t generally plan to bring the twelve year old on a hostage mission.” Frank blows out a breath, close enough to a laugh, and then goes quiet for a second. You know the guilt will be eating him up— he was constant like that. Guilt was practically his middle name. “You ever throw that Colonel shit in my face again, or any of it, and I’ll put you through the window.”
“I hope you do.” He looks down, searching for words he doesn’t have. He didn’t mean it, and you’d said twice as bad things to him in your time. Apologies felt like placebos at this point, and even if it was a bit mean, you’d take his real emotion over the fake shit he used to feed you any day.
“Just do what you said you would. Do this with me, and we won’t bring it up again.” You kiss him again, and he tightens his grip. You feel the press of his chest to yours tighten and release, and his head falls onto your shoulder.
“I’m scared.” He says lowly, and you physically feel your body slump in response to how… broken he sounds. “Scared of losing you. If he walks, he’s gonna come for you and the kid. I can’t lose… fuck, I can’t do it again. I can’t.”
“I am not going anywhere.” You nudge him upwards, his nose dragging along the soft skin of your neck.
“When I lost Maria and the kids… I won’t come back from that again. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t live with myself until I knew every single one of those fuckers were dead. You’re asking me to let this guy go after what he did to you and I can’t—“
“If he ever gets out, I’ll kill him myself. Besides, you’ll be with me. What do I have to worry about?” He nods once, and you fall into silence again. This one isn’t like the others. It’s comfortable. Soothing. He holds you for a second longer, and as he lets go his hands stay reaching out, afraid to let you slip through them.
“I don’t like compromise.” His eyes meet yours again, and you have to stop yourself from sighing in relief. He looks like him again, eyes focused on you like they have been since you met him.
“Don’t pout. It’s not cute.” He scoffs, muttering something as he heads for the door.
“Come on. You wanna do this, you can be the one to tell Murdock.” You walk up next to him, feigning an innocent expression. “I ain’t feeding that guys ego anymore.”
“Oh? I thought you guys were such close friends.” Frank growls a string of curse words under his breath as you both walk back into the living room.
“She tell you I was right?” Matthew says from the couch, and you wouldn’t be surprised if Frank shoved you out of the way and knocked him on the jaw.
“Fuck off.” Frank says instead, walking to the other side of the room to stand in the corner. Matt laughs, but you still can’t take your eyes off Frank, and the subtle smile he gives Sam even though he’s clearly pissed off.
“Your phones been ringing off the hook.” Matt looks at Frank and he takes any chance to get out of the room, disappearing from view. “You sort it out?”
“We’ll bring him back. Alive.” Matt nods. “But I can’t control what happens after that.”
“I only need a few hours.” You frown, confused. “I’m a really good lawyer.”
���So I’ve heard.” He laughs again, picking up a few papers from the table. “Look, I just want to say thank-you again. You didn’t have to do any of this, and I know it isn’t the easiest situation, but… I can’t tell you how much it means. To me and Sam, and Frank. Don’t tell him I said that, though.”
“I’m happy to. These kinds of cases are why I became a lawyer in the first place. Even if it means working with guys like him.” He nods to where Frank disappeared, and you blow out a breath.
“He’s not all bad.”
“I know.” Matt gives you a knowing smile before Frank comes back in the room. His face is devoid of any emotion from your talk earlier, and a pit of dread builds in your stomach at his hard expression.
“Madani. Says Bobby’s guys just broke into my old apartment. Took everything, burnt the rest. Karen’s old place, too.” Shit. “We need to move, now.”
“Okay— just let me…” You look down at Sam, who’s already standing next to you. Frank was looking at him too, and you didn’t like the look in his eye.
“She’s got somewhere for him.” He says softly. “He can’t stay here. It’s only a matter of time.”
“Where?” Your voice cracks.
“Some kind of witness protection. There’s too many of ‘em to track. He’s a sitting duck here.” He says the last part in your ear, and Matt somehow catches it.
“He’s safe here.” Matt says, and Frank laughs.
“They found us. Karen’s place. How long you think it’s going to take for them to find this place, or the next?” He was right. You knew it, and as much as you trusted Matt and Karen, they wouldn’t be enough. “Madani’s got the doctors family out and safe. He can go with them, stay there till we get this handled.”
Your throat was tight as you looked down at Sam’s face, thinking about the last time you told him you had to leave. You’d left him enough, you had no idea how to explain this to him—
“It’s okay. I can go.” Sam stands in front of you, looking about ten years older with that determined look on his face. “I can go, and then you’ll come back after, right?”
“Of course.” You bend down further, hugging him tightly. “Can’t get rid of me now.”
He was grinning— a big difference to the kid that you pulled out of the boot of that car just a day or two ago. The bruises on his face were fading, but that wasn’t the reason he was looking brighter. He was around people, ones that gave a shit about him, and he was getting the first taste of real freedom he’d remember. He looked up at Frank, then, smiling a little wider, and it was clear you weren’t the only sibling with an affinity for him.
“Go fuck him up, then.” Sam says seriously. You think about telling him he shouldn’t swear, but if your worst problem with this kid was him saying ‘fuck’ then you’ve gotten off pretty well.
Frank was already getting the remains of your stuff together, and you spent the remaining few minutes with Sam. You can hear Matt and Frank outside, Karen having disappeared to give you some space, and when the two of them came back in the room, Matt looked pissed and Frank was hanging at the door, face blank.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Meet you outside.” Frank said before leaving the living room and shoving the front door of Murdocks apartment out of his way.
He had spent all of four hours in that place, and it was four too fucking many. He was on edge now— and the argument with you was still heavy on his mind. Now Madani was calling with more bad news, and he started to feel like a caged animal.
He knew he was out of line with some of the shit he said, but like he told you; he was fucking scared. Last time he let someone live instead of just killin’ him it came back to bite him in the ass, and innocent people died. Because of him. His family was dead because he didn’t take care of the shit he should of. That wasn’t even the half of it. What he knows this guy has done to you, Frank wasn’t sure he was gonna have it in him not to put a bullet between his eyes the second he saw him.
He just couldn’t say no to you. Not when you asked him like that.
Walking outside, he leant against the car, rubbing the palms of his hands on his jeans. He could put it down to how many things could go wrong back in Washington, or the phone call with Madani, but really, the thing that was giving him sweaty palms and a headache was what you asked him. And what he’d said.
“Do you love me?”
“Yeah. Yes. Yes.”
He knows it’s not the first time he said it. The last time he wasn’t even sure if you’d caught it— your eyes rolled back in your head and you saying his name all high pitched and whiney like he loved to hear. He couldn’t help it; basically poured out of him. You’d looked so fucking pretty under him, and twenty four hours without you was enough to give him withdrawals. It made him nervous as shit, though, doesn’t matter how true it was.
He saw you come out the front of the apartment block, walking straight towards him. Frank was half sure you were going to come to your senses and walk up and smack the shit out of him, but you started to slow down just in time to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.
He couldn’t remember anything he was thinking about before, just that you were threading your hands in his hair like you always did, and he chased the feeling as you pushed against him. His hands went to your hips, bending down further so he could take control. He didn’t give a fuck about the people walking past, he let his hands wander wherever made you moan in his mouth the loudest, smiling a little as you squeaked when his hands grabbed a little harder on your ass.
You pulled back first, breathless and smiling, but he could see in your eyes you’d cried a little before you came down here.
“You okay?” You nodded quickly, kissing him again. He knew it was probably leaving Sam that had you upset, but he’d given you a hard time, too.
“Mhmm.” You hummed against his mouth. “You drive.”
“Huh?”
“You were a dick. You can drive.” You lean up to kiss him again, but before he can react you shove him out of the way, sliding yourself into the passenger seat. He blows out a laugh, closing your door for you.
“Yes, ma’am.” He can see your smile even through the tinted windows. It’s probably the sweetest thing he’s seen in a while.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“These, too.” You drop another magazine on the counter, and Frank looks down at you with a blank face. “What?”
He pays for the items, two bags full of shit you probably don’t need and snacks you won’t get through, but you were milking this apology for all it was worth. Besides, with you only being an hour out from Washington, things were about to get complicated. You would take every light moment you could.
“A little help?” You struggle with the overflowing bags, and Frank looks back at you.
“You’re fine.” He says, walking straight back out to the car. As you trail behind him, he’s almost enjoying watching you juggle your shit to the car, but he opens the door for you anyways. Sliding back into the front seats, Frank pulls out onto the highway. “Murdock texted. Sam made it safe.”
“You texting him?” Frank makes a sound, some kind of growl that makes you smirk. “Maybe I should be the one who’s jealous.”
“Funny.”
“I feel like shit. Palming him off.” You watched the muscles in Franks face twitch as he shook his head.
“You’re not palming him off. It’s keepin’ him safe. Besides, the way Madani told it, Doctors family was more than happy to take him in. Said they owed you their lives.” The thought makes you feel sick. They didn’t owe you anything— you were half the reason they were in danger in the first place. “They got kids, too. It’ll be good for him.”
“Yeah.” Frank puts his hand on your thigh, and your breath shakes for a different reason. He keeps it there, thumb stroking up and down just a little higher than normal, and you catch him glancing at you through the mirror.
“This’ll be over soon. All this shit.” Frank says, his voice a tone softer.
“I nearly choked last time I saw him.” Franks hand got tighter on your thigh, knowing you were talking about Bobby. “Going back there, knowing he’s waiting… it’s just freaking me out.”
“I’m not gonna let ‘im anywhere near you.” He stopped himself for a second, keeping his eyes on the road when he spoke again. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Sure I don’t.”
“You don’t. You… look, I can go in there, clean this shit out, meet you back in New York in a day.” You swallowed a laugh— because only he would make any of this seem that simple. Sure, you could give this over to him, or Madani, or you could have just told Karen where he was, and within the day it would be swarmed by agents.
All this could be over, and you could wash your hands of it.
But the truth was— even if you didn’t want to say it out loud, or admit it to anyone, you wanted this. You chose this, to finish this with your own two hands. You might not have wanted to turn out like this, but it was who you were now. You look at Frank, someone who’s life would have been completely different had he chosen a different life, but here he was. He had chosen to live like this, gotten the revenge he needed, and it might have taken a part of him with it, but you still looked at him and saw good.
For all the violence and blood on your hands, this was one time you were going to get what you needed— what you deserved.
“No. I want this.” Is all you said, and the two of you drove in silence, Franks hand never moving from your thigh.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
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