#fuck this is so real and so funny

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

[liquidstar]

Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[scruntassdude]

i love gary so much he really gets me

bonus:

[riyo-soka]

Asajj Ventress trouncing the main characters in a fight, straight up lying to people, and deciding to get the fuck out of there so the plot couldn’t catch her is so Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) of her and I couldn’t be happier

[mayakern]

having recently tested it, I thought you might like to know your midi's fit four full grown female rats in one pocket quite comfortably

OH MY GOD you can’t just SEND me this and NOT show me PHOTOS?????

[ursamajori]

god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow

[theallegedbird]

will wood lyrics be like

[thewhizzyhead]

looking at the npmd tumblr posts I'm kinda glad that we seem to be all on the same page when it comes to npmd's portrayal of bullying and that putting a stop to it isn't as easy as simply having the victims stand up to them - examples being Max still beating the shit up out of Pete, Richie, and Ruth even when they make a stand in their own way. Standing up to them directly and telling them "i'm not a loser" or "you're just a bully" or something along those lines in order to take away their power is simply a disproven cliche because bullies don't care if their victims retaliate. They only care about the power they hold and when such power is taken away from them by force - so kudos to Starkid for having bullying portrayed as not just a regular schoolboy nuisance but as genuinely life-threatening shit that needs to be taken seriously because if it isn't nipped in the bud, once that bully gains more power, they will grow crazy with it.

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[anoant]

God of Time

[coreytaylr]

100% legit totally real facts about the historical stede bonnet

no the title is not a lie these are really REAL bc believe it or not, somehow the show made our stede MORE competent than the real one

sources: Real Pirates podcast (ep1, ep2, ep3, ep4, ep5), Dirty Sexy History podcast (with jeremy moss, bonnet's biographer, who LOVES the show, and said it changed his perspective on bonnet's and blackbeard's relationship PLUS he has the stedesrevenge handle on twt)

the library on the revenge was a real thing. the man really did that.

running away from his family to be a pirate

paying a salary to his crew

SHOWING UP IN NASSAU IN FRILLY GENTLEMANLY CLOTHES AND A POWDERED WIG

before bonnet's capture, he ran his ship aground and that's how the english caught up with him BUT the two english ships also ran aground (😭), so they fought each other with their flintlock pistols from behind their ships (until the tides turned and dislodged the english ships first. rip)

adopted an alias when he started pirating so people wouldn't know it was him but he raided ships near Barbados (where he's from), so that didnt turn out well. his solution? burning every ship from Barbados

he only succeeded in his early days bc merchant ships knew they would get off easier if they surrendered

ATTACKED A WARSHIP that whooped his ass so bad he almost died. the remaining crew steered the ship to Nassau where he met blackbeard

blackbeard stole the revenge from him but "allowed" him to stay on BB's ship (either as a guest or as a prisoner, it's not clear, but he def wasn't a crew member bc he didn't have any chores)

he was seen on deck running around in his gowns 😭😭

BB eventually reinstated him as the captain of the revenge and they sailed together for a while

"there is a 4 month period where stede and blackbeard kind of disappeared and no one really knows what they were doing" 👀

BB allowed bonnet to raid on his own which lead to him getting his ass beat by the Protestant Caesar. BB then proceeded to HUNT DOWN THE PROTESTANT CAESAR while flying the RED FLAG (which meant no mercy to anyone on board)

bonnet would raid ships and take what provisions he needed and give the other ship what he didn't need (essentially the library raiding scene lmaoo)

BB betrayed bonnet by raiding his ship and marooning his crew while bonnet was off getting a pardon

SO BONNET SWORE REVENGE AGAINST BB who was at the time, the most feared pirate

this led to him adopting another alias - "he also changes his name, at the time he goes by captain edward's. which is really interesting, I don't know if that's an homage to, you know, edward teach, but.. captain edward's with an "s", that's as if he's.. a possession of captain edward" ONCE AGAIN 👀👀👀👀

HE ESCAPED PRISON BY DRESSING AS A WOMAN

after escaping, he was promised a sloop by some rando. when the rando didnt deliver, bonnet "WROTE HIM A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER REPRIMANDING THE MAN"

that letter led to him being recaptured 😭😭

he was hanged while holding a bouquet of wilted flowers

[willowser]

bakugou, who has been your best friend for too long, so long that you're so unaffected by all his cheap threats, grabs you by the front of your shirt after you tease him for the umpteenth time. mouth all twisted, scowling, eyes burning. you think maybe the material in his fist is smoking.

he warns you, "watch your mouth, you fuckin' nerd, before i cream you."

and kaminari is not far, close enough to hear, and he immediately busts out laughing while clutching his stomach. "dude, you'll WHAT?"

bakugou's whole face goes red, flushes all the way down to his chest and he drops you like a hot tamale, sputtering, "you—fuckin' perv, not like that!"

[buggbuzz]

THERE IS NO WAY WE GOT INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY THAT EASY AND THEN—AND THEN THEY JUST

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IM NEVER GOING TO FUCKING RECOVER

[sporkberries]

Local Archivist has beef with the most annoying group of Georgian era Gay men