#fucking BEOWULF is happening again

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

wait. fuck. Garth. Hrothgar. angel-werewolf hybrid kids. twins. Cas and Sam. wolf Cas. Bee Wolf. OLDER SISTER NAMED GERTIE fuck. fUCKKKKKKK

EDIT: yeah so Garth used to hang out with

istg

a CHURCH CONGREGATION OF OLD NORSE WEREWOLVES (????what in the beowulf fresh fuck)

and he owns a HOUSEBOAT that he thinks is Demon-Proof... oh honey. it is not. that is, in fact, a fucking flare for a Very Specific Kind Of Demon.

hmmmm yeah this is all very fucked up, concerning and beowulfcore. its like some powerful force related to the Archangel Michael is breeding grendels or somethi-

oh yea. right. thats just canon

[arc-misadventures]

Jeanne: Jaune how did you get only a C+ on the test we know that stuff like the back of our hands

Jaune: If we get straight A's then they will think we're prodigies and they will put us on pedestals and people will only want to be friends so we can help them

Jeanne:.... I hate it when you're right

Strategic Incompetence

Juniper: What are the greatest weak points of a, Nevermore?, Jeanne?

Jeanne: The wings; Particularly the shoulder joint.

Juniper: Correct. Jaune: The most effective way to flee from a rampaging, Grimm.

Jaune: From which kind of, Grimm?

Juniper: …

Juniper: Let’s say a… A beowulf.

Jaune: Something that can mask your sent so you can stay hidden from their superior sense of smell. Then hunker down someplace you can stay hidden.

Juniper: Correct. Jeanne: 9mm is a highly effective round to use against, Grimm: True, or false?

Jeanne: False.

Juniper: Wrong! The answer is, True!

Jeanne: While that is correct. However, the 9mm is most effective against, Creep, and Beowulf’s. It is recommended that .375 caliber rounds are used for anything else. Even larger caliber rounds should be used for larger foes, particularly against those with thicker hides.

Jaune: Recommended that most rounds a, Hunter should carry should also be, Armour Piercing.

Juniper: Uhh… Next question… Jaune!

Jaune: Yes?

Juniper: What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen, Nevermore?

Jaune: Alpha, or Beta class, Nevermore?

Juniper: …

Juniper: Okay… H-How come you all got, B’s on your test scores?! These are all the questions you got, from that, Hunter Prep-school. You clearly know the answers to these tests. So why are you answering them wrong, are you doing it on purpose, or something?

JJ: Yes.

Juniper: …

Juniper: Okay… Why?

Jeanne: Yeah, why are we doing this again, Jaune?

Jaune: Because if we keep getting straight, A’s people will think we’re prodigies, and put us on a pedestal, and push unreasonable expectations on us. Further more, since we know things only seasoned, Hunters would know it would look suspicious. So, it is for the beat that we keep a low profile, to avoid any suspicion being place upon us.

Juniper: …

Juniper: Those… Those are some damn good reasons…

Jeanne: Yeah, I felt the same way when he said that.

Jaune: Hey, I’m just trying to keep a low profile. Considering the shear amount of stuff we know about, and the nature of the things we know about. Well, if any of it was made public, the results could be catastrophic!

Juniper: Oh, like what stuff?

Jeanne: Like if we told you it’s only a few years until yoi see your first grandchild. Imagine what would happen if we told you that?!

Juniper: G-Grandchildren…?

Jeanne: …

Jaune: Oh shit…

Juniper: H-How long until my first grandchild…?

Jeanne: Uhh…?!

Juniper: Jeanne! WHEN AM I GETTING MY FIRST GRANDCHILD?!

Jaune: Great… You’ve fucked us, Jeanne. Nice going…

Jeanne: And, not in the way I wanted us to! Oh gods, what have I done?!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Okay, I’m leaving. Have fun you two!

Jeanne: No wait! Jaune, come back! Come back!

Juniper: You best leave him, Jeanne. You know your brother, he’ll… Oh, how does he put it…? Ahh yes! “Death will take me before I tell you my secrets!” But, you, Jeanne… Oh hohoho~! You, Jeanne are another thing entirely. So tell me; Who’s going to give me my first grandchild~?

Jeanne: …

Jeanne: Help…

[scalproie]

With recent stuff happening Ive been thinking about V returning in future dmc games bc of how popular he is (and how much i would NOT like that fanservice for what it is bc like it or not he fullfilled his (and urizen's) narrative role) and Ive been thinking of ways it could happen without it pissing me off.

First thing, if V makes a return in any way, urizen NEEDS to also make an appearance. That's why I have such grip with world of V bc like, where the fuck is urizen in that? Is he the blue human-shaped blob on the floor? V may get playable-emo-twink privilege but I will be one of the 5 people that wont stand for it bc you cant have your character split himself in two and be like "oh this half is more important" when it goes against the very message you conveyed in your damn game. You cant say "Oh vergil wrongly thinks his powerful demon side is all he needs when in fact he needs all to be whole but actually its his human side thats more important" you cant do that id be mad. Anyway.

So option one would be, vergil can keep world of V but urizen becomes the "canon beowulf" to keep vergil's classic moveset. Plus it works bc in urizen's last boss fight he was literally punching and kicking dante up.

Option two would be urizen joining in in world of V aka be part of the attack but I guess it would be a bit too similar to nightmare but also he can do a banger finisher like hell on earth.

Final option would be vergil splitting himself into V and urizen just cause but the more i think about it... V wanted to merge with urizen to live and be powerful, urizen realized (according to vov) that he needs V to be powerful. Theyre the strongest they can be as vergil so why would they (vergil) want to separate again unless youre getting really close to the "theyre actually their own characters and not vergil (wrong)" thing

So anyway I just circled back to "V (and urizen) dont need to come back and I'd be mad if V does (and bc obv urizen wont as well)"

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

Without You: Vergil x G/N Reader

Summary: You have been missing for some time now and Vergil is slowly losing it. The blue devil's constant fear and worry about you being dead has turned him into a shadow of hi former self; someone that is even capable of grinding on Dante's gears.

Another pretty story-heavy oneshot; six dividers (double equal signs) down for important parts if you want to skip the pre-text. ⏳⏳⏳ Once again, I reference the “Revenant Shotgun” as being your gun; I really think the gun is pretty lmao. You also use Beowulf. Minor blood/gut talk, nothing too serious though (figured I should mention it just in case). This is the first time I have tried to write combat since I was like 13, so forgive the (probably) less-than-adequate scene writing--I tried lol. ⏳⏳⏳ Pre-established relationship with Vergil. G/N reader. ⏳⏳⏳ Semi-angst followed by fluff (I don't know why I keep writing sad Vergil things; I swear I'll stop after this lmfao)

==

     The air was stagnated and stale as Nero slowly sat up, groaning in pain. His head was pounding as he looked around, confused and disorientated. He slowly blinked as he got a grasp on his surroundings. With a huff, Nero mindlessly groped around his lower back for Blue Rose and found it missing. This snapped him to attention as he began to sporadically eye over the area around him. 

     His brow furrowed as he focused on Red Queen which was thrust into the ground nearly twenty feet away. Slowly standing up with a wince, he went over to the sword. As he yanked the stubbornly stuck blade from the ground, a glint of light caught his attention. Blue Rose was laying on the ground nearby. 

     Placing Red Queen on his back, he clicked his tongue and went to retrieve his sidearm. “What in the fuck happened?” Nero’s thoughts were a blur as he scrunched his face struggling to put together the broken pieces of his recent memories. 

==

     “Move it, asshole!” Nero insincerely barked as he held a growl from deep within his throat.

     You ducked down into a roll, knowing that Nero was going to lose control soon and it was best not to argue with his demonic side. Using Beowulf to quickly spin upward and to your feet, you managed to make quick work of a Choas demon's spines. Seizing the opportunity, you aimed Revenant dead-center of the creature’s eyes and pulled the trigger. Smoothly holstering your shotgun, you continued fighting the onslaught of demons alongside the now devil-triggered Nero. 

     It was like a beautiful deadly dance when the two of you got into your well-practiced tango of destruction. Nero would typically take a more topside approach, using his wings to pull things to him and then dropping them to you. His over-the-top chaotic slashing and slicing would then be cleaned up by you underneath him. You, who had the completely opposite style, opted for a calm and collected approach, especially if you were using Vergil’s gear. Times like these are something you cherish dearly and never want to end--even if you are being coated by blood and demonic entrails. 

     A sudden out-of-place movement caught the corner of your eye as you tried to move out of its path; however, you weren’t quite fast enough and got thrown across the room.

     Nero’s attention was drawn to your flying body, “What the--!” before he could think he was hammer fisted directly into the ground below him. With a bright-blue flash, his devil trigger ended, leaving a confused and human Nero looking up at a strange figure above him.

     The demon was not one Nero had seen before--it reminded him of the descriptions of the “Third Beast of Revelations”. However, its appearance wasn’t quite as he remembered being told--only having four of the seven heads that it is supposed to have. 

     The young man stood up, “What the hell are you supposed to be, huh?” he smirked. The creature lunged at him, which Nero avoided. He laughed a bit holding the Blue Rose aimed at the back of the beast, “Too slow. Wanna try again?” 

     Nero sidestepped the demon again but was hit by an unexpected swing of its tail. He dropped his revolver as he was tossed across the room. Nero went to get up again. Before he moved back in, however, his ears twitched at a strange sound. The hunter turned to his side and realized that the noise was your breathing. Gently grabbing your shoulder, Nero tried to shake you awake. Revenant and Beowulf had been tossed far from your body and you were out cold. Seeing as there was a large amount of blood dripping from your forehead, that wouldn’t be changing any time soon. 

     “Shit,” Nero mumbled under his breath as he pulled Red Queen from the resting place on his back, “You’re gonna owe me big time.”

     With an impossibly blinding speed, the young hunter took off toward the large demon. Nero’s face was in a grimace as he focused the best he could without his trigger. In hindsight, he was regretting using his demonic energy on such a simple fight before. 

     His attempt at defeating this beast alone was futile; it was much too strong for him in this state. Another large hit from the beast sent him flying in the opposite direction as before; leaving your unconscious body as far from him as possible. The demon also noticed this as it turned its sights to your limp form. 

     “Tch, shit-” Nero hastily got up on his feet and ran to your aid; however, it was too late. The beast had your body in its grasp as it curiously looked you over. “Put them down you fuck!” his mind was racing; if something happens to you, Vergil will kill him. 

     With a grunt, Nero sprung up at the demon. Who only batted him away again. He used Red Queen to stop himself from flying so far off. Knowing there wasn’t time, he left the sword and was going to fight using just his hands. Was it stupid? Yes. Did he care? No, not if it meant trying everything he could to protect you--someone who had become essentially his step-parent. 

     However, the demon had no intent on letting you leave this place with the youngest Sparda descendant. It opened a fissure through the floor, but before leaving, attacked Nero one last time. It sent him flying in an almost straight line across the room and into a wall, knocking the hunter out cold. 

==

     Nero stood in front of where he had last seen you lay, your weapons were still strewn about and your coat had fallen from your shoulders as you were snatched upward. A cold heavy feeling sunk in as he just stood there staring. 

     Slowly he gathered your gear, he didn't know how he was going to tell the others what happened. Nero didn’t know whose response would be worse; Dante mocking him for his lack of skill or Vergil who would undoubtedly lose it over this. 

     He just wanted to go back to the DMC and get this over with. Nero left the demon nest, not caring that he hadn’t finished the job. Outside, Nico was in her van waiting for the pair’s return. 

     Seeing Nero, she opened the door of the van, “Took y’all long--” she paused, seeing the gear in Nero’s arms, “Whoa, wait… Where’s--”

     “I don’t know,” Nero mumbled, refusing to look Nico in the eye as he got into the vehicle.

     “Whatdya’ mean ‘you don’t know’?” her voice was playful, thinking that Nero was just fucking with her as he placed the items on the table. 

     He leaned a bit onto the table with his palms flatly pressed against it, “I don’t know where they are..!” he grimaced as he stood back up with clenched fists, “Some fucking big asshole took ‘em” 

     Nico’s expression and pose changed from casual to a more serious one, “Wait-- they’re really missin’?” Nero’s frustrated stare said it all, “Holy crap-- Should we call your folks, I’m sure--”

     “It wouldn’t help,” Nero relaxed his fists and took a deep breath trying to calm down, “They’ve been gone for a while, their scent’s gone.”

     “Shit,” Nico pursed her lips as she paused for a moment, “Well, whaddya’ wanna do?”

     Nero looked over to her, “I want to go to the shop. This is more important than the job.”

     “Gotcha,” Nico wanted to poke at him but found herself unable to. Nero looked beyond exhausted and she knew that the brother’s responses will be more than punishing enough. 

     Neither of them spoke the whole way back.

==

     Not wanting to be there when the three devils rip each other apart, Nico just dropped Nero in the garage and left.

     Deciding to wait a moment before going in, Nero focused his hearing. He only heard one heartbeat meaning there was only one person at the shop when he returned. Thankfully, upon opening the door, it was Dante.

     The red devil sat at his desk with his back to the garage, “Hey, you two are back early,” his gaze didn’t leave whatever he was doing on his desk, “Was thinking about ordering a pizza. You guys want anything?”

     Nero’s face was pale and gave no response. He just simply walked over to the coffee table and plopped down your coat and weapons.

     Dante pouted slightly with confusion, “If you don’t want--” his brow twitched as he noticed that there was only one person that had come in, “Hey where’s--” his happy expression dropped quickly. He moved around to the side of his desk to see what Nero had just set down.

     “Dante-” Nero bit his tongue in thought, “Before you go off; hear me out?”

     He scratched the stubble on his face, “Sure, go ahead kid.” he leaned back onto his desk.

     Nero explained what happened and what attacked them. Surprisingly, Dante wasn’t mad or made any rude jabs about things. He just simply nodded along and paid close attention.

     “Well Nero,” Dante shook his head and sighed, “As much as I want to give you shit-- You’re lucky to be alive. That bastard ain’t an easy thing to fight, ‘specially without a trigger handy…”

     Nero’s gaze found its way back down to your gear, “You think they’re still alive, Dante?”

     He sighed and stood back up, “If they weren’t, Vergil would know by now,” he bit his lip, “Question is: why did the demon want them alive?”

     “Think Vergil would know?”

     “Doubt it, he knows just as little as I do about those beasts…" he paused briefly before continuing, "Look, Nero,” Dante set a hand on the young man’s shoulder, “go home. I will tell Vergil about this whole thing. He’s already ripped off your arm, I really don’t want him to try ‘n gut you too. Okay?”

     Nero was taken aback by what he said and nodded, “Thanks, Dante.”

     “Any time kid,” Dante removed his hand, “Just don’t come back till I let you know it’s safe. Might take your old man a few days to calm down.”

     “Sure thing,” Nero moved to the garage door, “Keep me posted, yeah?”

     Dante gave a stiff nod to Nero as he watched him shut the door.

      “Vergil’s just going to gut us instead… You’re a fuckin’ genius, Dante.” he sighed at his thoughts. What the hell was he going to do?

     A few hours passed before the door finally swung open. Vergil stepped into the shop raising a brow at his brother who was at the desk asleep. With a sly smile and shake of his head, Vergil walked further into the room. 

     However, that smile quickly faded upon seeing Revenant, Beowulf, and your folded jacket sitting on the coffee table, “Dante.”

     The younger twin slowly blinked as he opened his eyes and sat upwards, “Hm?”

     “What is--” Vergil’s brow slowly furrowed further and further, “Why is their gear here?”

     “Well..” Dante stood up and took a deep breath, “Look I ain’t gonna sugar coat it: They are missing.”

     “ What? ” Vergil’s voice was sharp as he glared at Dante.

     “Look, before you go and try to kill Nero--It wasn’t his fault,” Dante shrugged, “We would’ve had a tough time with what happened.”

     Vergil made sure to enunciate each word clearly, “Dante, what happened.”

     “They were attacked by one of those Revelation beasts. Your kid barely made it out. Nero said that they took your partner with them, so the demon wanted them alive for some reason.”

     Vergil’s face went pale as his blood ran cold, “Where were they, I want to have a look at things.”

     “Sure thing… I’m coming with though--you might need me,” Dante winked then stretched with a groan.

     “Whatever.”

     They did go look. Vergil found nothing. It was a dead end.

==

     Several months had gone by and the usual bustling and jovial atmosphere of the Devil May Cry had faded. Now all that remained was a quiet angst and depressed mood that was brought on by one individual alone.

      The silence was broken by the sound of the garage door opening. Standing in the doorway were the two twin sons of Sparda; Vergil stood in front of Dante. The eldest headed up to his room, not saying a word. His silent steps were filled with anger; an emotion that has become a common theme in recent times. Dante just stood, watching his brother go up the winding stairs.

     Across the room, Nero sat on the couch. His gaze moved off of his phone and onto the remaining brother--who was already raiding the fridge, “Any luck, Dante?” 

     “No! There was absolutely fucking nothing.” Dante was seething as he looked over at Nero, “Your old man is just so… infuriating; I am this close to shoving the Yamato so far up his ass--.” with a pinch of the bridge of his nose, the youngest twin huffed out a heavy sigh.

     Nero shook his head with a small laugh; knowing exactly how Dante felt. Vergil would barely talk to Nero without getting an irritated tone and becoming condescending, “Don’t worry, it’s only gonna keep getting worse; how long’s it been anyways--four months?”

     Dante let out a nod of affirmation walking over to his desk. He kicked up his feet and cracked open the bottle drinking the majority of the bottle in one go, “You know, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Vergil’s going to storm his way down into Hell just to make sure he’s looked everywhere.”

     “He’s that desperate, huh?” Nero sat forward more on the couch, paying more attention to what was being said. 

     “That doesn’t even come close to describing how Verge’s being. I mean,” Another wave of building frustration was slowing creeping onto Dante’s face signified by his furrowed brow, “I don’t blame him for being worried--I would be if it were my lover--but still…” he exasperatedly removed his boots from the desk, making a slight thud as they hit the floor, “-he doesn’t have to be such a dick about things. I’m trying to help.” Dante was attempting to find his happy place--lest he wants to have another hole in the drywall.

     “Vergil being a dick is nothing new--you’d know that better than me--he’s just not used to needing help,” Nero stood up from the couch revealing a manila envelope in his hand, “On a better note: Morrison dropped this off while you were out, said it’s for your eyes only.”

    “Really?” Dante reached forward and snatched the envelope, “I wonder what that means, Morrison doesn’t often--” his voice slowly drifted as something inside the folder caught his attention. He continued to flip through the documents faster and faster with a wide-eyed stare.

     Curiosity getting the better of him, Nero leaned over trying to take a peek at the papers, “What’s so interesting, huh?”      

     Without answering, Dante jumped up from his seat. The youngest son of Sparda ran up the stairs and began to bang rapidly on a certain blue demon’s door, “Vergil! Vergil, open up! Come on! Verge--”

     A door pushed hard into Dante’s shoulder as a set of mildly bloodshot iced-over eyes met his, “What is it?” Dante stood frozen for a moment, not expecting Vergil to have answered the door so quickly; let alone seeing him after he had been (what appeared to be) crying, “What do you want, Dante.” Vergil’s sharp tone cut Dante from his thoughts.

     “Shit, sorry. Just--here,” he shoved the folder at Vergil, “have a look at this.”

    Vergil lifted a brow in curiosity as he let go of the doorknob and stopped shoving the door into his little brother. Sighing quietly, Vergil began to sift through the documents and pictures; the further he read, the further his brow creased. Vergil’s voice was rough and cracked as he looked at Dante, “Where--”

    “Morrison dropped it off while we were out. Gave it to Nero… Is it that what I think it is?” 

     Vergil cleared his throat and took a short pause, “It could be--I would have to see it to be sure.”

    “Alright, then saddle up princess, we got a job to do,” and with that, Dante left before Vergil chastised him for the jab. 

     A few moments later, Vergil came downstairs with his demon hunting gear re-equipped. Dante stretched his arms upward cracking his back quite loudly, “Ready, Verge?” Vergil gave Dante a curt nod and began to walk toward the garage door. Before leaving, Dante humorously cooed at Nero, “Make sure to finish your homework and be in bed by 7. We will be back in the morning--so behave till then. Love youuu~” flashing a wide sharp-toothed grin, he waved and headed for the door--ignoring the fact that Nero just whipped him off. 

     “Where is the location?” Vergil’s voice was deadpan as he unsheathed the Yamato.

     “Here-” Dante handed Vergil the paper with the address, “So, what are we gonna do if it really is--”

     “Silence." Vergil’s voice was sharp as his eyes turned to a harsh squint in irritation; tossing the folder off to the side. 

     Dante pursed his lips, pouting slightly at his brother’s attitude; but, didn’t feel like bantering so he remained silent. 

     Upon exiting the portal, the twins looked in front of them. The object of the job was before them, a large nest that was crawling with demons. Not wanting to waste time, they both ventured forward. 

==

     A few hours passed as the brothers slashed their way through the mound’s inhabitants. Dante and Vergil stopped for a moment to catch their breath.

     Dante adjusted his coat, “So, how far down do you think it’ll be? We gonna have to go all the way?”

     “Most likely,” Vergil slicked his hair back, “Is that a problem?” 

      “ ‘Course not, just was wonderin’,”

     Vergil didn’t respond and just continued forward, Dante following in toe.

     Dante cracked his knuckles, “So if it is-- then what?”

     “I do not know--nor will I know until I see it.”

     “Really hope that this lead is real and not another stupid hoax,” Dante frowned. 

     “If it is not worth our time,” Vergil’s voice was filled with more hostility with every word, “I will make sure to give the client a visit .”

     “No-- Vergil you can’t kill our clients; we are demon hunters, not people hunters. Plus, this nest needed to be taken care of anyway.”

     The eldest twin only scoffed in response. 

==

     It had been nearly eight hours since entering the nest and they still had no signs of what they were looking for. Both of them were getting crabby at this point; Vergil about the lack of evidence and Dante because of Vergil’s attitude. 

     “I swear--” Dante growled in frustration, “I am going to just fucking dig my way to the bottom of this fucking bastard.”

     “That is impossible,” Vergil’s voice held no emotion. 

     “I know, I am just getting sick of this shit,” he groaned, “Just feels like we are getting nowhere--that’s all.”

     Vergil stopped and tilted his head up slightly. Upon seeing this, Dante stopped as well.

     “Verge, I didn’t-” 

     Vergil turned his head to the left and began to walk.

     Dante rolled his eyes and pivoted in a grandiose manner, “Okay-ay, I guess we are goin’ this way now.”

     They walked in silence for a few more minutes before coming to a dead end. Vergil began to scowl and stare at the wall.

     “That’s a mighty fine wall there Verge, but what-” 

     “Break it.”

     “... What?” Dante double-took at his brother’s words.

     “I want you to break down this wall,” Vergil’s eyes moved sharply off the wall and to Dante.

     “Look, Vergil, I made a joke about breaking shit down--wasn’t actually going to start--”

     “Do as I say, Dante,” Vergil snarled, “Break. It. Down.”

     Dante sighed, driving his sword into the ground, and responded by using a mocking baby voice, “Fine, mister grumpy pants.”

     Using his Sin Trigger, Dante made quick work of the wall. The pair quickly stepped through as the hole repaired itself behind them. He shifted back into his human form and jogged after Vergil, who was already going forward. Another half hour passed of Vergil's speed walking forward intensely focused on something.

     “Soooo… Plan on telling me what exactly you’re doing or are you gonna make me guess?”

     Vergil hit Dante flat across the chest with a sheathed Yamato; before Dante could protest, he saw what his brother was staring at. 

     In front of them stood a fairly huge demon--the same one from the job's folder. The creature was similar to a centaur; however, a lizard (or demon) had been thrown into the mix as well. 

     A large spear was held by one of its three-fingered hands. On the body, there were three sets of violet claws; the legs of which were covered in a thick dark midnight blue fur with bits of sky blue streaks scattered throughout. Three maroon-scaled tails protruded from the back of the creature, a thin cerulean membrane trailing up the middle of each topside and trailing up the base of the creature’s skull.  

     Layered scales, colored the same as the tail’s, ran up the underbelly, body, and torso of the demon. Pale teal-green scaled skin was exposed through the frontline of the torso, showing off a muscular structure similar to that of a human. 

     Continuing up those scales led you to the head of the beast. It was similar in shape to a human’s but had seven eyes of pure milky white which filled the entire front due to the lack of a mouth. Extending from the sides of the face, there were clay-grey semi-transparent frills--appearing very much like a frilled lizard’s--that ran from the underside of the jaw up to a set of horns that the frills connected to. 

     Dante nudged Vergil, “Man, I thought Lady’s demon form was ugly--theirs takes the cake. Good job using that nose of yours and finding your mate, good thing you--” he stopped noticing his brother’s glazed-over stare.

     Vergil was paying no mind to Dante or anything around him. His eyes were focused on the trinket that was embedded right in between the creature’s collar bones, nestled deep in the suprasternal notch. His blood ran cold as he would know that jewelry anywhere; it was his amulet half--the one he had gifted you on your anniversary nearly a year ago. He stood, unmoving--not even taking deep enough breaths to move his chest. Everything in him told him to fight the capsule of a demon in front of him; yet, he couldn’t bring himself to.

     Dante, however, was paralyzed by neither fear, grief, nor anger; he was actually glad they finally found you. Giving one last glance at his, still very frozen, brother Dante moved into the large space--drawing the demon’s attention. 

     “So,” he started, “this is where you’ve been hanging out, huh? ‘Place is kind of a drag if you ask me,”  Curiously, the demon slowly approached Dante, staring at him, “You ain’t gotta make this hard--just lay that big stick down and let us-” he looked back at Vergil, who still hadn’t moved, “or well let me get you outta there. Whaddya say?”

     It stood in front of the younger brother for a moment then turned its head to look at Vergil. Without even returning their attention back to Dante, they punted the younger brother across the room with one swing of its paw. A loud crack emanated from the force of him hitting--and going through--the wall. 

     “Son of a Bitch…” With a groan, Dante slowly stood back up, “And I’m supposed to believe you’re the same person that gives me shit for my hugs.”

     Digging his heels into the ground, Dante took off running. He raised his Devil Sword as he got within striking distance; however, the demon only backhanded him, sending him flying once more. The creature still hadn’t torn its gaze from Vergil; it almost seemed as if it was trying to place the eldest son. Dante attempted to strike again, only to be hit away for a third time.

     The eldest son’s mind was racing; between infinite anger that spiraled to the deepest darkest depths of his demon and immense guilt for not protecting you eating at his human consciousness--Vergil, for the first time in a long time, was completely frozen. He was your boyfriend, your lover, your mate; he should’ve been there to protect you: instead, you ended up suffering something that he wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

     “Okay, you bastard,” Dante sniffled as blood began to drip from his nose, pulling out Ivory & Ebony, “Let’s try this, shall we?”

     Upon feeling the bullets hit the side of their legs, the demon turned to Dante--finally breaking their piercing staredown. It trotted towards Dante and swung its spear, only missing Dante by mere inches. He jumped onto the spear and ran up it, still firing the twin pistols. The creature used its free hand to grab Dante; moving much faster than the devil hunter had expected, and began to constrict him.

     “Heh, you got quite the--,” he let out a strained groan, “quite the grip.”

     Dante struggled a bit trying to loosen the demon’s grip. He couldn’t focus like this and, if he couldn’t focus, triggering (in any capacity) was off the table. So, Dante did what any younger sibling would do; he started to yell for his big brother.

     “Vergil-- I could use a hand here!” Dante’s body started to ache from the pressure, “God damn it! VERGIL!”

     The loud shouting from his baby brother pulled Vergil from his thoughts. He looked up at Dante and started moving. The demon’s attention was now drawn to the sudden movement of the oldest brother and ever-so-slightly loosened its grip. Not wanting to waste the chance, Dante quickly triggered; making the demon drop the lava-hot Dante.

     “He-hey! Nice to see you finally helping out,” Dante rolled avoiding the large spear.

     Glaring over at Dante, Vergil teleported near the creature’s ankle and sliced it with Mirage Edge; coating him with the creature’s blood.

     Vergil moved to Dante’s side taking advantage of the few moments of reprieve the attack gave them.

     “So, got any ideas?” Dante tried to wipe some of the blood off of Vergil’s face using his coat; however, Vergil harshly swatted away his hand.

     Vergil’s brow furrowed, “Its front and neck would be the best places to try and cut it open; given its scales might be much thicker than I think…”

     Dante twitched his head to the side in a nod, the ghost of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips, “Better than nothing. Shall we?”

     The twins decided to split, each going opposite ways. Confused about what to do, it followed Dante with its body while attempting to use its tails and back paws to hit Vergil.

     Dante took another large hit and created another crater in the wall. He fell to the ground catching himself at the last moment, coming to rest in a kneel. He took a moment to wipe some blood that had begun to drip from his mouth. 

     A large heavy object slammed into Dante, it was Vergil. The two of them hit the wall together, Vergil’s weight only shoving Dante further into the already-created crater: they both were going to be sore after this.

     They both removed themselves from the wall and stood side by side, both slouching slightly.

     With a growl-covered groan, Vergil’s eyes sharpened their gaze upon the demon, “You still have a trigger left in you, brother?” his breath had become slightly ragged.

     Despite his exhaustion, Dante clapped back with his typical sarcastic tone, “Always--you sure you wanna use yours?” Dante straightened his posture.

     Vergil flicked out his arm on the side opposite Dante, summoning his doppelgänger, “For this, yes.”

     There was a flash of light and the two were both in their Sin Triggers. It was quite the sight, one that only would occur when the brothers were fighting themselves. Neither of them had to tell the other what the plan was; perks of being twins as Dante would say.

     Taking the same approach as before, they spilt ways--Doppel following beside Vergil. 

     The demon was confused and turning itself around in circles over how many fast-moving targets it was now presented with. Vergil and Doppel managed to keep the creature’s attention long enough that Dante was able to get behind the creature’s head. With great strength, Dante grabbed the creature’s horns and pulled its head back. He did his best to keep it steady; however, it thrashed like a bull and unexpectedly was able to shake Dante around. Seeing his brother struggling, Vergil sent Doppel to assist him. With the two both pulling on the creature in opposite directions, the thrashing slowed. 

     Seizing the opportunity, Vergil shot up the midline of the torso cutting along it with the Yamato. Once he reached the bottom of the amulet, he stopped and fell back to the ground calling back Doppel; Dante followed suit.

     They both stood as humans, having exhausted their demonic energy, staring with bated breath. The demon’s midline showed the cut; however, nothing was happening. 

     “Verge ain’t--” Dante’s face went pale after turning towards his older brother.

     Vergil looked pissed, no, he looked beyond pissed. His grip had tightened on the Yamato so hard his knuckles were turning colors. Without warning, Vergil triggered himself once more and took off toward the demon; this time, however, the creature wasn’t being held back by others. 

     He jumped off of the spear that had been swung and avoided the other hand’s attempt at grabbing the blue devil. His speed was unimaginable as he was instantaneously on top of the demon’s head. With great effort, he plunged Mirage Edge deep into the scaly skin and tissues of the creature. Swiftly, he yanked the blade down the middle of the face, down the throat, and stopped above the necklace. With one of his forearm blades, Vergil gouged out the amulet and tore it from its resting place. 

     A large amount of blood began to spew from the new incision. Vergil was thrown violently from the beast as it began to flail about. A plume of blue energy emitted from the man as he hit the floor--hard. Dante ran over to the hole containing the other twin with slight concern. The once again human, Vergil lay unmoving in the newly-formed crater as Dante slid down to his brother’s side. 

     “Hey, you’re not dead--right?” the red demon poked Vergil slightly. 

     Vergil slowly opened his eyes and glared up at Dante, “It will take much more to kill me,” he sat up and groaned quietly in pain, “I assure you, little brother.”

     Dante laughed and offered a hand to help Vergil up; which, normally he wouldn’t accept but today Vergil was too exhausted to fuss over such things.

     Upon exiting the crater they found the demon laying on its belly like a resting horse, slowly bleeding out from Vergil’s second attack. 

     Vergil moved to finish it off but was stopped by Dante’s forearm, “Allow me.” 

     Dante carefully used his Devil Sword and re-cut over the Yamato’s shallow slice. Although the demon was dying, it did put up somewhat of a fight by swinging its hands and claws at Dante; all the while, its gaze found Vergil’s again--who was slowly approaching the suffering creature. 

     “Just die already, you son-of-a-bitch,” Dante growled through his teeth as he dug his sword further into the demon’s stomach, making it shout an ear-piercing sad cry; which sounded almost human-- Vergil did his best to ignore that part.

     The demonic corpse dissolved slowly. Vergil had made it to his brother’s side as he watched the disintegration before them. He bent over and picked up the amulet that he had dropped while being thrown around. With a gentle sigh, Vergil placed it into his pocket and stood back up.

     The pair's attention was now drawn to where the head of the beast once lay. In its place, you were laying there; naked and dead to the world. At first, the brothers thought you were actually dead but then they heard your faint heartbeat and took a sigh of relief. 

     Vergil’s expression was a strange mixture of joy, anger, and sadness. He walked over to you, his steps were cautious and silent. Once by your side, Vergil removed his coat, gently wrapped you in it, and picked you up. His brief moment of solace was interrupted by a large tremor.

     “Hey, uh, Verge--” Dante quickly moved to his brother’s side, “You gonna be able to get us outta here?”

     Vergil paused for a moment giving thought to whether he could or not, “Yes,” he pursed his lips.

     Dante noticed his hesitation and was going to question him; however, the younger brother quickly put together why. “Vergil, hand them to me--you can’t use Yamato like that.”

     “No, I--” another tremor broke off a part of the ceiling nearby, “Fine.”

     Vergil handed you over to Dante and pulled out the Yamato. With a deep breath, he sliced open a portal and traversed through with Dante right behind him. 

     Once out of the other side, Vergil didn’t even give Dante a chance to think before ripping you from him. Vergil knows that Dante wouldn’t dare hurt you, however, he had an overwhelming urge to keep you far from anyone besides himself. 

     Dante looked around and scratched the stubble on his jaw, “Uh, Vergil… This ain’t the shop,” the pair was standing where they had entered nearly twelve hours prior. 

     With a low mumble, Vergil avoided looking at Dante, “I don’t have the energy for that…”

     Dante bit his tongue hard--all he wanted to do was poke fun at Vergil and would have if Vergil was in a better headspace. Instead, he just simply nodded at Vergil, “Well… I can call a ride if you want..? I’m sure Nico wouldn’t mind picking us up--given she’ll want a cut of the pay.”

     “She can have my half; I got what I came for,” money was the furthest thing from the blue devil's mind, all he could think about was that he finally had you back.

     “Alright--you sure you’re okay with--”

     “Yes.”

     Dante let out a small ‘heh’ and pulled out his very well-protected phone.

     Nico showed up around an hour later. Once stopped, the door swung open, and out strode Nero. 

     He looked over at his father and uncle, who were sitting on a ledge and the floor respectively.

     “Holy shit, you actually found them? Nico said that Dante-- I didn’t believe her…” Nero extended a hand to help the very sore Dante off the ground. Without so much as a nod to his son, Vergil got into the van.

     Dante groaned and cracked his back, “Don’t take it personally, kid. Vergil’s in a weird mood.”

     “What happened? I saw the folder that was thrown on the floor of the garage, but--” the pair began to walk to the van side-by-side, “I don’t get how you knew.”

     “When we get back… or after I take a hot shower and nap… I’ll fill you in on the details at some point,” Dante slumped down on the couch in the van that was opposite Vergil.

     Before Nero could protest at Dante’s wait time, the younger twin was sound asleep--even snoring a little.

     With everyone in the van, Nico began to drive; despite Nero still standing. Before the youngest Sparda descendant went up to his seat, he turned to Vergil, “You uh… gonna be okay?” Nero felt awkward asking the typically stoic man such an out-of-character question.

     Vergil looked up at Nero with a confused tilt to his brow then back down to you, “In time, yes.”

     Nero nodded--shocked that he got anything other than ‘yes’ or the silent treatment--and went up to the passenger seat for the rest of the quiet ride back to the shop.

==

     The moment the van stopped; even before Nico had turned off the ignition, Vergil got up and was out the van door. He thinks he heard someone say something as he left, but he didn’t care. All he wanted right now was to be in his room with you in his arms. Quickly and quietly he headed up the stairs and into his room.

     The eldest son prides himself on being the cleanest member of the Sparda line; however with you being gone, he had stopped caring about such trivial things. The room had quite a few sets of worn and unworn outfits strewn about. Several cups of half-drank liquids sat on various tabletops. The room wasn't messy by normal standards but Vergil was far from "normal".

      He walked over to his bed. Vergil moved you so he could support your body with one arm and fixed the disheveled mess that was his bed. Once satisfied, he set you down on the bedding; he noticed that you were filthy --which wasn’t surprising due to what had occurred. 

     Vergil hesitantly left his room to get some warm water, rags, and some medical supplies. It took him a moment to figure out what to grab--he wasn’t the best at treating wounds, he hasn’t ever needed to know such things; so he was as methodical as possible. Seeing how Vergil was struggling to find what he needed, Nero silently helped his father gather what was needed. Vergil gave Nero a solid nod in acknowledgment of his help.

     Upon returning to his room, Vergil began to gently wash your dirt and blood-ridden skin. While doing so, he noticed his hands had begun to shake. Furrowing his brow and pursing his lips in confusion, he stopped momentarily. Vergil never shakes, so what was going on?

     Using exhaustion as an explanation, he dismissed it with a shake of his head. Vergil continued to clean your body. You had visibly become slimmer from the several months of entrapment. His eyes moved up to your face, you were still sound asleep but he noticed that you looked deathly sick.  

     He took the rag and rung it out. Your body was cleaned; however,  you were still covered in wounds. Vergil knew that he couldn’t do anything for the copious amounts of bruises you had, so he moved to take care of several burn marks you had obtained; most of which were around your neck from Dante pulling on your demonic prison. Vergil put some burn cream onto his fingers and softly rubbed it on the marks. Letting out a shaky sigh, he moved on to the last thing he had to tend to before dressing you.

     The Yamato might not have mortality wounded your capsule, but it seemed to have nicked your midline all the way up--the cut was too thin and clean to have been from Dante’s Devil Sword. After wiping his hands off, he applied an antibiotic gel along the cut. If you had been awake, you would have cussed him out, no doubt. The thought brought a small smirk to Vergil’s face. 

     He grabbed the gauze and began to dress the wound; however, Vergil stopped. His vision had become blurry and his mind went blank. During these past four months, he had cried a few times, but it was always controlled and well-restrained. 

     Right now, though? He felt like screaming. He felt like weeping until he became ill. All he wanted to hear was your voice, to feel your lips on his face, to be held as he sobbed uncontrollably. Vergil felt like a little kid again; alone and afraid of losing those he loves. A whimpering hiccup brought him out of his thoughts as he looked up at you. Confusion sunk in as he saw you were still fast asleep. 

     He froze. The noise had come from him. Vergil tried to suppress his tears; he hard-shut his eyes, tried angrily furrowing his brow, and even tried looking upwards; nothing worked. 

     Nothing could stop the storm of pitiful tears that leaked from his tired eyes. So, he worked through them and finished patching you up the best the blue devil could. 

     Another strained whimper left his lips as he straightened himself back up. You didn’t live at the DMC with the brothers, so Vergil did not have any of your clothes. He knew he couldn’t just leave you naked (since anyone could walk in and see you) so he rustled through his clothing. Vergil didn’t have much in the sense of “casual” clothes which made this difficult. 

     Eventually, he decided on a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a sleeveless black turtleneck. He managed to get you into the much-too-big clothing and tucked you into the duvet of his bed. 

     Vergil spent the rest of the night by your side holding your hand as he quietly grieved.

==

     Sunlight spilled into the dark room through the slightly ajar curtains. It was nearly noon and Vergil hadn’t moved from his spot next to you. Nero and Dante had both peaked in to check on you and the visibly exhausted hunter a few times… which they only got stared at in response.

     The blue devil could hear your heart and your breathing just fine; but, was unable to keep himself from thinking you weren’t going to make it. He had convinced himself that this whole ordeal was his fault. 

      “Maybe if you hadn’t had such a noticeable trinket on you wouldn’t have been taken.” he thought, “or was it because you have been associated with our cursed bloodline that this happened?”

     He felt a stinging in his eyes start once more, “I should have been there. It is my job to protect you and keep you safe. I failed you just like I have to everyone else,” his lips quivered as his breath stuttered, “Perhaps you would be better off without me,” Vergil’s chest heaved and his face twisted into a grimace. Once more, he had lost control of his emotions as he unintentionally tightened his grip on your hand.

     “You trying to break my fingers?” a hoarse sarcastic voice snapped Vergil to attention. You had woken up and were staring at him with a gentle concerned crease of your brow.

     Without a word, Vergil pulled you into a tight hug. Even if he wanted to say anything, he couldn’t; not in the distraught state he was in. Although you were still weak, you began to rub his back as you hugged. You relished in his scent and touch; something that felt like a distant memory while ensnared in the demon’s body. 

     “Miss me?” you heard and felt him shutter. He pushed further into you making you acutely aware of the large slice on your midsection, “Ow, fuck--”

     Vergil left the hug upon realizing what happened and, still unable to speak, pointed to your torso. With unsteady hands, you rolled up the very loose black fabric, “Oh…”

     Pulling the shirt back down, you looked at Vergil. His face was puffy and his eyes were bloodshot with prominent tear stains running down his face. Slowly you reached for your lover’s face and gently thumbed one of the tears from his cheek. 

     Vergil grabbed your hand and held it to his lips, just setting them against your cold skin. His expression was a mixture of painful sadness and overbearing happiness. A crease formed on his brow as he shut his eyes tightly. You could see Vergil trying to piece together what to say. 

     A few brief moments passed before he spoke, scarcely louder than a whisper, “I thought…” you felt his lips shake against your clammy skin, “I thought you were…” Vergil couldn’t bring himself to finish his words.

     You sadly smiled as you used your held hand to thumb over his stiff fingers, “and leave you alone? Not in a million years, Vergil.”

     The tremble in his lips worsened as his lips gently kissed your hand, stifling a whimper.

     After he let go of your hand, you moved to sit on the edge of the bed allowing your feet to dangle off the side, “Come here..?” you beckoned to your unraveling lover. 

     “Are you sure--I do not want to hurt you again,” his response was sheepish and meek.

     Not taking no for an answer, you grabbed his hand and pulled him onto your lap. Having the large devil on your lap would have typically been uncomfortable; but, your want to hold him and comfort him in such a distraught state overrode every other thought.

     He hesitantly straddled your lap. You noticed his uncertainty and gently pulled him closer, “Let me hold you, please?” you were trying to reassure him. 

     Which seems to have worked; he hastily put his arms around you. He held on tightly grabbing wads of the loose shirt’s fabric as if he were actively being pulled off of you. Since he was taller than you, his head rested atop yours. The side of your face was resting on his chest and your arms were wrapped around him as you began to rub his back once more. 

     The man’s breathing became ragged as he fought with himself and his emotions. 

     “Vergil, it’s going to be okay,” you lovingly rubbed your face against his chest, hearing his heart racing, “you can let go now.”

     This small set of words finally undid the eldest son of Sparda.

     You had seen Vergil cry before, but only in small quiet amounts; never as raw and shattered as this. The hunter began to shake within your grasp. The only noise coming from the man was loud uncontrolled sobs and sharp breathing. His grip on the shirt had become a death grip; holding on tight enough to rip through the tightly woven fabric. A deep rumble came from his chest as it seemed even his demon was crying out in anguish.

     Deep within, you knew that these tears were for much more than your own disappearance. You knew that this strong soul had finally reached a breaking point. Closing your eyes, you pushed yourself into him and held him tightly, whispering sweet words of comfort to him. Gently and slowly, you kneaded against his back with your hands; knowing that it would comfort the blue devil. 

     Eventually, his cries slowed and his grip loosened.  Vergil’s body shifted as he longingly kissed the top of your head. Letting out a heavy sigh and shutter, he leaned back. You smiled at him. Vergil smiled in return, his eyes creased at the edges pushing the few remaining tears from his eyes. He took one of his hands and placed it on your bicep. The other found its way to your face. He thumbed over your cheek and lips with an undertone of uncertainty and disbelief; that this was real, that you were home.

     You leaned into the warmth of his palm, “I missed you too, Vergil…” a wave of a soft sadness mixed with love washed over you, “so very much.”

==

ENDING NOTES: Hope y’all like the art with this one--admittedly this would’ve been done much sooner if I hadn’t decided to add that. The scales and all textures are not things I drew; they are all sampled from real things--the feet, for example, are textured using orange peel(s). All colors (except the maroon scales) are from Nelo Angelo and both of Vergil’s sin triggers--I did change some saturations, but the basis for them is all from the stoic man’s palettes. ⏳⏳⏳ I swear the next thing is not going to be more angsty/sad Vergil. I actually was writing this alongside “What Would They Think”--I’d get bored with one and write some for the other lol. Hopefully, you enjoyed this story! Much love y’all (I’m thinking something with V or Nero next; which, Nero’s H/Cs are the hardest thing for me to write for some fucking reason lmao idk what is going on with that.)

==

Bonus short story that I wrote as a warm-up; post story stuff:

==

     Nero walked down the stairs of the Devil May Cry with a prominent dejected expression. With a small bounce to his step, the youngest Sparda descendant walked towards the fridge; however, an ‘ahem’ cough caught his attention. 

    J.D. Morrison was sitting on the edge of Dante’s desk smoking his typical stogie. The said owner of the desk was sitting there with a manilla folder in hand, staring at Nero. 

     Dante set the folder down, “So--” he leaned back in his chair, “How is he?” 

     Nero quickly glanced between the two, unsure of what he should and could say in front of the company broker.

     The red devil raised a brow, “Well?”

     “Uh-” Nero centered himself into Dante’s view, “He’s okay. Nothing’s really changed much.”

     Dante slowly nodded and bit his tongue in thought for a moment, “... They awake?”

     “No, doesn’t seem like they’ve even moved.”

     “Damn it,” the younger twin sighed, “Let’s hope they do soon; I can’t stand seeing him like that.”

     Nero shrugged, “At least Vergil’s not going to be a dick anymore.”

     Dante laughed, “Careful, you might jinx us.” he grabbed the folder he had previously been paging through, “Interested in doing a job with me--takin’ Verge’s place for now?”

     Nero took the folder from his uncle. After paging through it and reading it a bit Nero smiled slightly, “Sure, why not. Anything to get me out of here.”

     “Good--” Dante turned his attention to Morrison, “We’ll take it.”

     The broker smiled, “Glad to hear it. When--”

     A loud abrupt noise cut off J.D.’s question. It had come from above them and Nero bolted to the stairs.

     “Wait! Nero-” Dante got up fast enough to knock his chair over. He tackled Nero into the wall, preventing his ascension upward, “Stop.”

     “Let go of me!” Nero shoved Dante off of him.

     Dante put Nero in a sloppy cradle pin; holding him still, “Listen for a minute.”

     The young hunter stopped struggling. He furrowed his brow as he whispered, “Is that crying? ”

     With the same volume, Dante responded, “Yeah, it’s from Vergil.”

     They untangled from the floor and stood up. Both of them decided to grab their gear before Dante acknowledged the semi-confused Morrison, “Let’s take this somewhere else--give Vergil his privacy.”

     “Fine by me,” he stood up from the desk, “Although it would be nice to get an explanation once we leave.”

     Dante nodded with an unintentional smile, “Not much to say… Just a long overdue reunion.”

==

ENDING NOTES (FOR THE SECOND STORY): I figure that Vergil and Dante might not get along per se, but are able to be kind of nice to each other. Giving each other support or defense when needed; they are family after all. (This is why Dante wants to leave)

==

Want to see more like this? Want to read my work quicker and several stories that are not on Tumblr? Check this out on my AO3 (Linked here)

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Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Holy Foreshadowing, Batman! Gandalf is SUPER psyched to get his ass under a mountain, but literally Gimli and Aragorn are like, "Nah, bro, we are worried about YOU SPECIFICALLY if we do that." And this is after Mom and Dad fought about going up Caradhras and after literally everyone is like, "We are getting super bad vibes from Moria."

But they can't go over the mountains, they can't go around the mountains, and the Gap of Rohan is too close to Isengard, so fuck it, we ball in Moria, I guess. Let's talk chapter 4, "A Journey in the Dark."

Ok, so this is a relatively long chapter (30-odd pages by my math), but wow is it mostly vibes. We start off very defeated by the anti-wizard-and-elf mountain, which makes sense because if you lose the ring bearer to exposure in the first month of travel, you're going down in history as the dingus who lost the last great conflict with Sauron. Again, Boromir is DEEPLY underappreciated as the reason our hobbits survived Caradhras.

After a few pages of back-and-forthing about where to go next, Gandalf is over here pushing Moria HARD, and literally everyone is like, "This does not pass the vibe check, wizard boy." Although Gimli is like, "I could find out what happened to Balin" and Aragorn literally says THIS:

"You followed my lead almost to disaster in the snow and have said no word of blame. I will follow your lead now..."

Because apparently Fellowship leadership operates on phlebotomist rules. If you miss the vein, you let someone else take a shot.

Ultimately, the decision is made because there are goddamn WARGS after the group, and even Boromir accedes that wolves literally on your tail are worse than hypothetical wolves up the road, so we stop arguing about it and hunker down. This gives us time to have a nice little moment with Sam and Pippin though. Poor Pippin is over here like, "I wish I had taken Elrond's advice [...], I am no good after all. [...] I don't remember ever feeling so wretched, " but Sam is coming in clutch with "Honestly same, but Gandalf isn't going to let us get eaten by wolves." Which like...yeah, I accept that, and it's way more comforting than a generic "there, there." I also appreciate that Sam admits he's scared too. It's like how hearing, "Oh god, I haven't started that either" is so comforting for stressed-out students.

What neither I nor the fellowship love though, is the wolves literally sniffing around their campfire that night. There are literally glowing eyes in the dark, howls on the wind, and a goddamn warg silhouette in the gap between stones. And an arrow through the throat of one warg buys the group some measure of peace until the moon sets. Once the moon sets though, we get a pre-dawn warg attack:

In the leaping light as the fresh wood blazed up, Frodo saw many grey shapes spring over the ring of stones. More and more followed. Through the throat of one huge leader Aragorn passed his sword with a thrust; with a great sweep Boromir hewed the head off another. Gimli stood with his stout legs apart, wielding his dwarf-axe. The bow of Legolas was singing.

The battle scenes in these books read SUPER Beowulf, but are somehow briefer. Tolkien was super not here for contemporary battle scene writing; it's very much painting with watercolors. He gives you the odd detail or two and you pretty much get to fill in the rest yourself. Which is fine, and holy cow can I see where that would inspire Robert Jordan's manner of naming sword forms rather than describing an actual duel (which is not shade, I think Jordan does that really damn well and to excellent effect). But then we get Gandalf doing wizardy things in a really...unusual way?

In the wavering firelight Gandalf seemed suddenly to grow: he rose up, a great menacing shape like the monument of some ancient king of stone set upon a hill. Stooping like a cloud, he lifted a burning branch and strode to meet the wolves. They gave back before him. High in the air he tossed the burning brand, It flared with a sudden white radiance like lightning; and his voice rolled like thunder.

This hearkens back both to "Gandalf the fireworks wizard" who we meet in the Shire, but also to the little moment in Bag End where Gandalf goes wizard on Bilbo to snap him out of his Ring moment. It also is not like...wildly dissimilar to how they teach you to scare bears off in the wild: Get big and loud and look intimidating. We were not supposed to then set a goddamn forest fire--that's a little scorched earth for Alaskan survival techniques--but it was one of those moments where the familiar was made pointedly exotic, and I actually thought it was quiet effective. You take the foundation of something real and then you add a bit of wizard to it. Then things feel sufficiently grounded, but also with just that extra bit of wizard to heighten EVERYTHING. The subtlety (and yeah, I know, forest fire and lightning isn't subtle, but the way this is written is and how it functions is) is really quite impressive. That said...Gandalf, honey. Maybe not with the ecological disasters???

At the very least, the wargs were polite enough to evaporate so they didn't have to deal with any of the bodies when the sun came up.

After that, we haul ass off to the Doors of Durin. It's not a good journey though. Right from the start, the Sirannon wasn't where it was supposed to be, the landscape is lifeless and desolate, and when we do finally find the stream, it's a freaking trickle. If the IDEA of Moria didn't pass the vibe check, then the landscape on the trip in is a parade of red flags. And again, Boromir is SUPER ON POINT with not wanting to get caught between a stone wall and a bunch of wolves. This place is all quiet unease and red flags. Even the freaking WATER is gloomy and unwholesome-looking.

And then we get a WEIRD FLEX moment for Gandalf:

"I am sorry," said Gandalf. "Poor Bill has been a useful companion, and it goes to my heart to turn him adrift now. I would have travelled lighter and brought no animal, least of all this one that Sam is fond of, if I had had my way. I feared all along that we should be obliged to take this road."

Like, I believe he's genuinely sorry to have to hurt Sam and to turn the goodest pony loose. But it's the "if I had had my way" and the last sentence where I'm just like...Gandalf. Sir. Why are you bitching to Frodo that you have to share leadership on this mission? And why are you flexing an "I told you so" on Frodo instead of, IDK, Aragorn??? Is it because Aragorn would kick your wizened wizard ass for it? Because I'd watch that.

Also, again with Gandalf being weirdly open with, aware of, and as solicitous as possible to Sam. He has zero problems kicking Pippin when he's down (as we'll see in a bit in this very goddamn chapter), but he's always been very straight yet compassionate with Sam in a way that doesn't even match how this wizard treats Frodo. Like, we are almost getting to a point where I need to go see what the Tolkien scholars have written about the Sam-Gandalf relationship, because it's getting NOTICEABLY unique and it has gotten a fair number of little moments at this point. Like...what is this relationship and why is this the dynamic? I demand to know.

I also just want to take a second to highlight something DEEPLY inequitable as they round the lake to the door:

When they came to the northernmost corner of the lake they found a narrow creek that barred their way. It was green and stagnant, thrust out like a slimy arm toward the enclosing hills. Gimli strode forward undeterred, and found that the water was shallow, no more than ankle-deep at the edge. Behind him they walked in fie, threading their way with care, for under the weedy pools were sliding and greasy stones, and footing was treacherous. Frodo shuddered with disgust at the touch of the dark unclean water on his feet.

THE HOBBITS DONT WEAR SHOES. Everyone else has boots to act as something of a barrier to this gross-ass water, but the hobbits have to tromp through it BAREFOOT. Did NOBODY think, "oh shit, this will be super unpleasant for the hobbits, maybe we should yeet or carry them?" Apparently not, and honestly now they're just gonna have gross feet as they tromp through Moria and I hate that for their poor hobbit toesies. And as a WWI soldier, TOLKIEN SHOULD KNOW THE DANGERS OF WET, MUCKETY FEET.

But then we actually get to the doors--finally--and Sam has a deeply understandable moment when Gandalf tells him they have to cut Bill loose, and Gimli and Legolas try to start world war 2.5 over Elf-Dwarf relations before Gandalf tells them to knock that shit off.

Everyone is super over everything at this point, and I cannot blame them.

But where Gandalf has zero time for Legolas and Gimli sniping at each other, he takes the time to speak over Bill and give him his best shot at getting home safely. Again, I do not get the relationship between Gandalf and Sam. I appreciate the care for the pony, but whatever the Gandalf-Sam thing is, it's more than just trolling Pippin or ensuring that Frodo makes it to the volcano or ignoring Merry's existence for the most part.

Literally, Pippin gets a "Knock on the door with your head" from Gandalf, and once the damn thing IS open, Merry just gets a casual, "Merry, of all people, was on the right track" before Gandalf pulls ANOTHER weird flex and says "Too simple for a learned lore-master in these suspicious days." Like...ok, sure, Gandalf. You were TOO SMART to get the riddle.

But we get the doors open just in time for Frodo to get nabbed by a metric frick-ton of tentacles. Sam yoinks him back and they haul ass through the door, which get slammed behind them and the tentacle monster bolts it behind them with boulders and trees. After which we get THIS little gem from Gandalf:

"I fear from the sounds that boulders have been piled up and trees uprooted and thrown across the gate. I am sorry; for the trees were beautiful, and had stood so long."

SIR. I was THERE when you burned a flaming doughnut into the land to get rid of the wargs. You are a walking ecological disaster and do not get to high ground the tentacle monster ripping up a few trees by the roots. You probably burned more LAST NIGHT. I know it's unfair to expect characters to know the genre of the book they're in, and by extension its equally unfair to expect them to know the themes of the book they're in. That said though...I WATCHED YOU START A FOREST FIRE, GANDALF. This is not the moment to suddenly discover ecocriticism.

At any rate, we have FINALLY made it inside Moria. Boromir is (rightfully) quite pissed off an apprehensive about this, but Gandalf is like, "Gimli and I will lead the way!" before they manage to get the party fucking lost and Sam is bitching about not having rope. Because oh my god there is SO MUCH atmospheric walking in this book. And most of the time the atmosphere is "vaguely evil with a healthy helping of depression." Which...yeah, that's what we get here.

So it makes sense that Gandalf is SUPER FUCKING OVER IT when Pippin yeets a rock down a well and they hear hammer blows from the deeps. And it makes even more sense when Gandalf realizes he's apparently also experiencing withdrawal symptoms because he hasn't had a smoke since before they started climbing Caradhras. So he non-apologizes to Pippin, lights up, and everything looks better in the morning...sort of. At least the wizard is less grumpy, and he has now firmly established himself as that member of the party who needs to be properly self-cared or he will make it EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM. Seriously, what a goddamn diva.

But getting himself a wee bit of a smoke made it so he could make a decision and they headed up to where the air smelled good. So fair enough.

Then we have EVEN MORE atmospheric walking, and Sam picks up some dwarven lore via Gimli singing a song all about Moria and Khazad-dum, and I swear, the hobbit is going to be a lore-master himself by the end of this journey.

This chapter is also where we get a bit of a mithril infodump, which is pretty cool just in general. We also get Frodo having delayed sticker-shock because he's just casually waltzing around with a whole-ass shirt of mithril on. That's also a nice little reminder to all the readers that hey, remember that Frodo has this thing? I betcha it's going to be important soon.

We end the chapter on the SUPER downer note of finding Balin's tomb, and the dwarves now have their (not unexpected) answer to what happened to the party from thirty-odd years ago. Which is really sad, frankly.

That's also about where we're going to leave this chapter, because I am...exhausted by all the atmospheric walking. We will pick up next time with a relatively short chapter, and hopefully there is more to it than infodumping and atmospheric walking.

[empty-dream]

Just read FGO Anastasia

It’s finally crossed out from my rotting to-do list.

This chapter with lots of Fate/Apocrypha call back… It might as well be GO/Apo event 2.0. Like, you get 2 servants from there; the main villains being a cold empress servant, her butler-like master, and the romantic inclinations between them; and alliances to take down huge common enemies.

KADOANA KADOANA KADOANA *faints* I haven’t go this crazy over a Fate villain ship since Achilles/Atalanta.

Koyanskaya, Rasputin and Caenis all straight up refer them as couple, and they don’t even deny it. At best, it’s some kind of “That’s rude.” retaliation. Then again, it doesn’t even deny anything. What the fuck. HNGHNGHN. And that’s not even getting to the official materials which confirm that indeed, they have feelings for each other, a lot apparently. They might as well be a couple already without announcing it.

I think I might have fallen in love with Billy the Kid. I didn’t read E Pluribus Unum so I didn’t know his personality is like that. (Like Kadoc grumbles about in LB2, “Aren’t cowboys supposed to be laid-back and stuff?”) I love that he’s friendly and easy-going, yet highly pragmatic at the same time, to the point of sounding like an asshole. All without so much as raising an eyebrow, sometimes with a casual smile, even. And he’s short, so cute. He really voices my own concerns regarding the turns of events in the story.

Salieri…I’m looking respectfully. I wanna give him a pat on the shoulder. It must not be fun and healthy to be that angry all the time. Angry Piano Man, indeed. The thing that he did for the climax and the end is top notch.

Beowulf… I’m looking respectfully… not 0_0. But on serious note, he (with Billy) serves as juxtaposition for Atalanta in terms of leadership. And it shows from early on, long before that certain truth is revealed.

AviceBROOOn. I am still surprised that the writers choose to give him redemption after what happened in Apocrypha. In fact, it is the event of Apocrypha that he tries to atone for, a decision which I really like. Now he’s total bro. Viva golem. I like that scene where he, despite not liking socialization, wants to keep socializing. That’s a bit close to home, so I can relate.

I think Atalanta Alter serves as the punching bag of the story. If you think Atalanta has the short stick in Apocrypha, boy is it worse in Anastasia. Now I get why it’s the Alter version instead of the normal version, cuz the latter’s story is finished by the time Apocrypha ends with the help of Achilles.

PATXI MY BOY LET ME GIVE YOU A RUB LET ME PAT YOUR HEAD. I like the twist and turns that put him into his own ordeal. That “I’ll be there when you fall into despair” scene gives me shivers. And not to mention what he says in the climax chapter.

Ngl I was a bit like “Is this addition really necessary?” when Musashi came out of nowhere, even though it’s justified with all her drifting hijinks. Then then when she drifts out again, I was like “NOOO where did you gooo we need youu!!!”

Ivan is really just there sleeping and mammoth-ing. Although the very last scene of his is bone-chilling.

A world that values strength about everything else, the strong eats the weak, the weak serves the strong. Tbh the very definition of starter level: Simple and to the point. If you want to imagine “a world that is wrong”, this is one of the simplest idea of that concept. You definitely won’t live a good life if strength (or talent) is the only thing you pursue, if you even get to live in the first place.

What Koyanskaya does in one of the village is one of the most unnerving scenes that, ngl, may very well happen irl. People raking obscene profits out of other people’s suffering.

Not that it makes it easier to do what Chaldea has to do to the Lostbelts. When the climax is over and Salieri is doing his thing, I feel very sorry for all the hope that couldn’t be.

Even though I know it already, but when the epilogue broadcast is revealed, I was like OOOOHHH YEAHHH WANDERING SEA BABYYYY FUCKING FINALLY

“I will never forgive you for as long as I live.”

“My dear, sweet Kadoc.”

[catos-wound]

nah we fucking with circular time. beowulf dying = the old peoples before the dragon. everything that happened before will happen again ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[cyclonesyndicate]

trial 6.1 | diego | re: all of it

Diego Reyes has been pretty quiet this entire time. Everyone else had been doing such a great job at investigating and deliberating that he didn’t really feel the need to jump in. This is more his style, anyway, hanging back quietly and letting everyone else fight amongst themselves as he gathers information in the shadows.

Information such as how Tempest had identified him, by name, before he ever met the guy. That was annoying. He wondered if Jules had leaked that information to the Coalition all those years ago, in the betrayal that had led up to Diego losing his arm and his contract. But it’s hard to feel mad about it. Since dying, he’s felt… different. Less like Cazador. But he’d been Cazador – one of many Cazadores – for so long that he wasn’t completely sure who Diego was. That was a work in progress. And it seemed Tempest knew Diego better than he did.

But Tempest wasn’t the guy they were looking for. The guy in question had written really annoying notes about Diego. About how he thought Diego would have lasted longer – yeah, Diego thought he would have lasted longer, too. One measly slip of the blindfold and Diego died in a puddle of his own blood. That still made him mad. And another note about how the guy in question had known Diego from years ago, and that it sucked that Diego was here too. The sympathy was annoying, too, but at least the slip that the mastermind knew Diego gave Diego a pretty solid idea of who had written the note.

So, when the time came…

Diego slow-clapped after the dramatic reveal, carbon-fibre palm thudding on Kevlar-lined glove. “So it was you all along, huh, pup?” he says, his mouth twisting like his face can’t decide whether to laugh or yell. “All that shit you said about how you missed me and mourned me and all that – you really had me fooled. I thought you really were sad about it! But I only got my shit rocked because of you, compadre, so feel free to shove that sympathy up your ass.” He grins. Being dead hasn’t made him any less foul-mouthed, at least.

The conversation moved on from there, with Beowulf expressing his desire to die and the rest of their cohort making a huge production about it. Diego sighs and leans back into his chair. So much noise. He thumbs the loose tails of his blindfold idly as he listens.

“Hey, by the way, if you do plan to off yourself,” Diego says, chirping up again a few minutes later, even though literally no one asked for his input, “It’d be really polite of you to give me the gun. The only reason I came here was to kill Tempest, and you fucking killed them, so now your ass is up next. Ugh, but you probably want to get Saw’ed in one of your traps, don’t you? Boring.”

Then he pauses. “Well, I don’t even know if the contract is still valid. I’m dead, aren’t I? I mean, I’m not, you didn’t manage to get rid of me, despite your best efforts, but I am also kind of dead. That contract might’ve gone void after Jack jumped me. Huh. I’ll have to look into it. Alright then, whatever the rest of you locos decide to do, I’ll go along with you.”

Diego’s head tilts. “Speaking of Tempest, though, what’s the deal here? You were there that night – you saw Royale slice my arm off.” Royale, who was very much dead in return for that one. “You obviously didn’t like the Coalition, or you wouldn’t have killed your dad and fucked off with Tempest, so what the hell happened? You call yourself a hero, but all I see is a dumb dog who can’t tell whether he wants in or out.”

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

The Inevitable End of Year Awards, 2022 Edition

It would be fair to say that 2022 got off to a flatulent yet anaemic start back in Ye Olde January and has since sign-waved between extremes of joyless and joyful like a sherry-addled schizophrenic telling you his life story at a Xmas party that just won’t fucking end, finally ending on a weirdly positive note. So, with that in mind and before the New Year bursts all over us like a faulty condom, let us roll up our sleeves and ferret through the detritus of the year in the hope of finding the purest diamonds and filthiest sludge-nuggets, so we can drape medals about them and call it an awards ceremony. Let’s rock and roll, fuckeroos!

The Feyd-Rautha Award for Having One Job and Not Fucking Doing It… … Goes to Vladimir Putin, who gave himself the job of conquering the Ukraine and, despite having the military resources of an immense, wealthy country, a police state and a fully-subjugated media at his disposal, failed miserably. The war in Ukraine continues with no sign of Russia actually achieving anything. A bit’s been annexed- sort of- but Ukraine remains resolute and it’s highly probably that Russia’s ailing dictator will die before completing the job that he obviously intended to be his legacy. The stupid fucking twat.

The Suspicious Package that’s Actually a Present Award for Nicest Surprise… … Goes to the film Bullet Train, which looked like nothing more than a good laugh from the adverts but turned out to be a legitimately perfect film, utterly flawless in narrative construction and characterisation… that also happened to be a really good laugh. Any film that has Brad Pitt singing the praises of fate and smart toilets while two hit men bicker about Thomas the Tank Engine has got to be worth the price of admission… and maybe a little dance.

The Patrick Stewart Painting a Naked Beethoven Award for Special Services to High Culture… … Goes to another film, The Northman, which dared to ask ‘what if Hamlet and Beowulf were the same person’. It was a beautiful, meditative experience that reflected on the intersection between heroism and madness in pre-modern mythology… that also found time for fart jokes with Willem Dafoe and a big, epic sword-fight in front of an exploding volcano. I swear this is a real movie. I didn’t just neck a load of tramadol and hallucinate it while staring at an ant-farm. Go on, Google it. It’s real!

The Suspiciously Abrupt Bathroom Break Award for Shortest Tenure… Goes to spittle-spraying, plate-faced, xenophobic freak, Liz Truss, who clawed her way to the position of Tory Prime Minister but lasted about as long as a fast-food restaurant called Jimmy’s Shit and Chip Salmonella Palace. She was promptly replaced by a urinary condition in a suit who somehow contrived to be worse than her, despite the fact that that should have been physically impossible.

The Joker Shooting a Chat-Show Host Dead Award for Most Satisfying Moment… … Goes to the Doctor’s regeneration into previous, beloved Doctor Who star David Tennant shortly after the announcement that previous, beloved show-runner Russel T. Davis was being brought back to write and run the show again. The BBC is constitutionally capable of just saying ‘sorry, we fucked up’, but this does read as the closest possible equivalent. After a painfully ill-advised gender-flip, some lore-wrecking bullshit, an episode where the Doctor shilled for an evil mega-corp and a long-winded, multi-episode trudge through the colourful world of queer-baiting, the BBC seems to have finally realised that the last few years were a mistake. Will this lesson stay learned? Probably not. We’re talking about people who keep making the same crime drama every year and just calling it different names. Object permanence is not the Beeb’s strong-suit… but it’s still incredibly, viscerally satisfying to see a blustering, half-witted, incestuous institution forced into a U-turn, however temporary it might later end up being.

The Pluggity McPlugface Award for Best New Work of Fiction… … Goes to Enlightenment for All!, a brand new short story published by left-wing magazine Culture Matters and available to download for free, right now. Taking place across 20,000 years and charting a multi-generational effort to uncover the secret of enlightenment itself, it’s already being hailed as an important work of outsider ‘gypsy futurism’ by a certain internationally-respected poet WHO I AM IN NO WAY ADMITTING BEING RELATED TO. Oh, did I not mention? I’m the author! I wrote it! I am a proper published author, and this one story is set to be followed by a whole book in the New Year! Take a moment to let that sink in: I have a story available through one of Britain’s leading leftist magazines and a book of short stories slated to come out through the same soon. Once again: for all the squalidness of modern society, my life is fucking awesome.

The Garth Meringue Award for Abject Terror… … Goes to Smile, which- like Bullet Train- is a fucking perfect movie… albeit measured by a different metric. In this case, the metric for success is the number of ruined trousers associated with the media artefact’s existence, which has got to be well into the millions by now. This is neither the time nor place for a review, but Smile terrified me in a way that few films every have. Its capacity to induce fear is truly awe-inspiring… as its related capacity to ruin trousers.

The Special Award for Taking the Piss Like a Fucking Sewer System… … Goes to the recent rises in gas and electric prices. The UK’s price rises are among the highest on the European continent, because the people in charge of this country’s energy policies are craven, witless morons who have cheerfully privatised the energy sector while failing to arrange alternate sources of power at the state level. As a result, heating a home is now a slightly more expensive endeavour than just fucking off and starting a new life... ON THE MOON!

The Beige Flake in an Unflavoured Ice-Cream Award for Existing… … Goes to tepid new Marvel telly-show, She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, which has a fucking amazing title and contains one of Marvel Comics’ most beloved female characters… yet arrived to the resounding sound of ‘meh’. I never watched it myself, but I feel comfortable including it in my end of year round-up because, er, neither did anyone else. Why? Well, a combination of dodgy effects, formulaic episodes and one scene in which poor old Bruce Banner gets an ear-bashing from the title character that the fans just weren’t standing for. And that’s it: something that should have been a hilarious, weird odyssey through Marvel’s lesser-known catalogue arrived ended up making almost zero impression on the shape of popular culture. Pity really- but something from Marvel making so little impression is actually, weirdly impressive in itself. If they reverse-engineer the properties that made it so forgettable, they could render them down to a paint and use it disguise fucking military aircraft carriers.

The Salvador Dali Riding a Neon Zebra Through a Sky Made of Pancakes Award for Sheer Fucking Weirdness… … Goes to Everything Everywhere All at Once, a pseudo-comedy about the multiverse, divergent timelines, dildos, pinatas, family drama, rocks with googly eyes and putting everything on a bagel so that it collapses in on itself and becomes a reality-consuming singularity. It’s a great movie with a brilliantly talented actress and comedian in the leading roll. I realise I’ve done a lot of media mentions in this end of year round-up, but I feel like it’s important to praise films like this. If we don’t shine a light on quality, we end up with dreck. Good, original films and telly are rare, especially in a world where everything is a copy of some pre-existing IP, transcribed and adjusted and mutated until its no longer recognisable as itself. We live in a world where Jeff Bezos can buy the right to Lord of the Rings lore just so he can wipe his bald, pointless cock on it and where all of pop culture is dominated by a single, soulless corporation. When smaller creators with original ideas do something great, we should shine a light on it. So I am. Well done this film.

The ‘What, Really?’ Award for Unexpected Good News… … Goes to the news that James Gunn is going to be put in charge of the DC cinematic universe, which is unexpected and good- the two criteria for shockingly underwhelming award.

The Wonderful Fucking Timing Award… … Is the last award of the entry and goes to my car- or former car- which chose the week before Xmas to break down irreparably, leaking oil, petrol and water all at the same time while the engine misfired systematically. I loved that old motor, but its timing was always somewhat on the spectacular side. And so we end our awards ceremony on a personal and profoundly trivial note. So it goes.

And that was 2022. It averaged out to be pretty okay and now its ending to make way for 2023, which promises to be the latest in a long line of years. Until then (and the inevitable New Years Resolutions blog), bye.

[widow-tarot]

PAC: Channeled Message From Your Person

GROUPS: 1 - 2- 3 4 - 5- 6

INSTRUCTION: Think of a specific person and choose a picture you're the most drawn to. Don't choose more than two groups. The message can be read as either platonic or romantic.

Before the big PAC: Your Next Significant Love Connection, we are gonna do a short channeled message from your person. Have fun!

PLEASE REBLOG

Consider leaving a tip: paypal.me/sadwidow

Check out my other PAC!

Exchange Readings are open!

Decks used: The Dreamkeepers Tarot.

GROUP 1

QUOTES:

We have found out that blood smells only of blood.

You said I killed you. Haunt me then.

I loved my friend. They went away from me. There's nothing more to say. The poem ends, soft as it began - I loved my friend.

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

(Hanged Man, 8 of Wands Reversed, Queen of Swords Reversed, 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups Reversed)

Disclaimer: Two different messages come through (they are either asking if you're gonna wait for them OR they're telling you they're gonna wait for you).

Will you wait for me? Will you be here, next to me, even after all these years and after all that happened between us? Will you forgive me again? Will you care about me like before? I know I don't deserve you. I know you and I take advantage of that, just to keep you by my side, just to keep you coming back to me. It's not like I don't know and it's not like you don't know. We understand each other, we see each other for who we truly are, and maybe that's why it's so hard to let go of each other once and for all. I don't know how to tell you what I feel and I am afraid to talk to you again because you see right through me. We have a rough history; both good and bad moments seem to have similar value, yet when I notice you looking at me, all I can see is pain in your eyes.

ZODIACS:

Pisces, Libra, Scorpio, Taurus, Sagittarius.

More detailed placements: significant Neptune, Mercury in Sagittarius, Moon in Taurus, Sun in Scorpio, strong Libra influence.

SONGS:

I'm Too Broken by Beowulf, rolando

Fuck it I love you by Lana Del Rey

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off With You by Arctic Monkeys

GROUP 2

QUOTES:

I still forget we're not even friends. I still wake up with things to tell you.

I think you know how to love better than any of us and that's why you find it all so painful.

I want to meet you in every place I ever loved.

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

(Queen of Swords, King of Cups Reversed, The Lovers Reversed, Death Reversed, 9 of Wands Reversed)

I'm out of my mind when I'm with you, I feel like I'm going crazy. We have natural chemistry but it's not healthy. I feel like I'm just going in circles with you, making the same mistakes over and over again, having the same conversation just with different details, arguing over the same things. I'm stuck and I don't know what to do. I can't let you go but I can't keep you. I don't have enough strength to fight for this anymore, I'm tired of the cycle we find ourselves in. I need to walk away from this connection. I need to walk away from you. Please don't resent me for it, please don't ask me to stay. It's difficult enough.

ZODIACS:

Libra, Gemini, Pisces, Scorpio, Sagittarius.

More detailed placements: significant Libra/Gemini/Pisces/Scorpio placements, Moon in Sagittarius.

SONGS:

Pray by Beowulf

Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey

Star Treatment by Arctic Monkeys

GROUP 3

QUOTES:

I have belonged to you in a way you haven't to me.

She kissed me or maybe I kissed her. We didn't want it to end so we made it forever. I woke up and it felt like I had dreamed her up.

I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

I don't know where to put it. All this love I have for her.

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

(The Devil, 3 of Cups Reversed, 4 of Pentacles Reversed, Ace of Pentacles, Ace of Wands Reversed).

Disclaimer: Two messages come through.

It's almost unreal what we have, sometimes it feels like a fairy tale. I don't believe in magic or soulmates but this gives me hope that there is something out there that brings people together. I have a slight obsession with you and I know it's toxic to keep you with me at all times. I will give you everything you want; new clothes, a new house, gifts. I want you to feel loved and I want to know there is no one before me. You are the only one in my life.

OR

I don't feel attracted to you anymore and I know that is not a good excuse for cheating. Maybe I'm just someone who can't be with one person because then I get bored and look for alternatives. Maybe I shouldn't have committed to this connection with you and to be honest, I'm not sure if I ever should commit again. I'm a wanderer, a traveler. Everywhere I go, I want to leave my mark. I don't want to lose you but I can't promise you that you'll be the only one in my life.

ZODIAC:

Capricorn x2, Cancer, Earth/Fire Placements, strong Capricorn vibes.

More detailed placements: Mercury in Cancer, Sun in Capricorn, strong Capricorn influence.

SONGS:

Falling Again (Low & Slow Version) by Beowulf, Koji, Oliver Lucas

How to disappear by Lana Del Rey

Old Yellow Bricks by Arctic Monkeys

GROUP 4

QUOTES:

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair.

I knew from the moment I met you I'd spent a lifetime missing you.

I beg of you. Understand me. Guess what I can no longer tell you. Sense my thoughts, comprehend them and me.

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

(3 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, The Sun, Judgement, Ace of Pentacles Reversed)

I'm not sure what you see in me. I'm not someone who has lots to offer when it comes to possessions and finances and I know your parents/friends don't see me in a positive light. But I'm so glad you chose me to be in your life. I'm so happy with you and I hope you're happy with me as well. We can build and create so much together! We are like a power duo, we work so well together and we understand each other greatly. We are both dreamers but we know how to make our fantasies come true! We have different skills but they complement each other so well! I'm glad we found each other. I hope we will never have to be separated.

ZODIAC:

Leo, Earth placements, Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn.

More detailed placements: Sun in Aries, Mars in Capricorn, significant Sun/Pluto influence, strong earth influence.

SONGS:

Morning Coffee by Beowulf

The greatest by Lana Del Rey

R U Mine? by Arctic Monkeys

GROUP 5

QUOTES:

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it?

You said I killed you. Haunt me then.

I heard my heart break. It was a small, clean sound like the snapping of a flower's stem.

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

(7 of Swords, 5 of Cups Reversed, Knight of Wands, 5 of Wands Reversed, 6 of Swords Reversed)

I never wanted to hurt you and I never wanted to fight with you. Everything happened so fast. I lost sight of what was important and followed the wrong path. I chose others over you, I put a knife in your back and as a result, I received short-lived fun. Was it worth it? No. I absolutely regret everything that I've done but I don't know how to get back to you. Will you forgive me? I think the pain is too great to ever forget what happened, but maybe there is a chance to let me back into your life, to give me one last chance.

ZODIAC:

Leo x2, Scorpio, Aquarius x2.

More detailed placements: Mercury/Moon in Aquarius, Saturn in Leo, Mars in Scorpio, significant/influential Leo placements.

SONGS:

You Better Catch The Train by Madson, Beowulf

Norman fucking Rockwell by Lana Del Rey

When The Sun Goes Down by Arctic Monkeys

GROUP 6

QUOTES:

I'm not beautiful but I could be.

I don't know where to put it. All this love I have for her.

We pretend we don't notice how far we've drifted apart.

CHANNELED MESSAGE:

(7 of Swords Reversed, 10 of Cups, 4 of Swords Reversed, 5 of Wands Reversed, Justice)

I'm not going anywhere. No matter what you say or what will happen between us, I'm going to remain by your side. You are the only person I could truly be happy around and you make me want to keep living. I'm not giving up on our connection, no matter if there are good or bad times. I'm with you through thick and thin; I know you will stay with me too. I think this is something we repeat from our past life - we are meant to stay in each other's life. This is our karma and our blessing. We can never be truly apart.

ZODIAC:

Pisces, Libra, Aquarius x2, Aries.

More detailed placements: influential/significant Libra placements, Moon in Aquarius, Mars in Pisces, Venus in Aquarius, Venus in Aries.

SONGS:

today is a gift by Beowulf

Get Free by Lana Del Rey

Arabella by Arctic Monkeys

[shamblz]

Ougghhghgg beat dmc5 on hard

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

Felicia Day voice-acted for Queen Wealhtheow in a read-aloud of Maria Dahavana Headley's translation of Beowulf.

This is a painting of Wealhtheow from an illustrated edition of Beowulf... circa 1908

...and Charlie is a complete Ren Faire nerd who LARPs SPECIFICALLY as the queen of a viking/anglo-saxon-esque kingdom.

The amount of SHEER BRAINROT this gives me.

Is it just a straight past-lives situation at this point? Were they always fated to find each other again?

What's more fucked-up(complimentary)? That in their next lives, the major characters of Beowulf still found each other, and although they are still cursed, still monstrous, Wealhtheow is a friend and ally to Grendel and his Mother? That she doesn't know that she's living out her past life through LARPing and other fantasy, just as they're living out their past lives through a very real, inescapable and fatal curse?

Or that it was the same way the first time? We don't know much about Wealhtheow's early life. She was foreign-born, either married to Hrothgar* in a political union or, depending on who you believe, given to him as a slave as part of a peace treaty (I'm not sure if people in that culture/time would have even considered these to be separate concepts). We don't know anything about where Grendel and his Mother were prior to the events of Beowulf, either, except that Grendel's Mother seems to have ruled here Mere (swamp) for a ~100 years, but also that the pair had wandered the wilderness and outer edges of society together since time immemorial.

Its not impossible that Grendel and his Mother, in their travels, could have saved the life of a foreign princess- become her friend, or her ally.

There are some theories that Wealhtheow may have been from what is now England. If we choose to mix folklore with utter disregard for academia or timestream, that puts her in the place (the culture of the Britons) and time (~500s a.d.) that King Arthur was said to have lived in**. Going by Arthuriana, their relationship with Mysterious, Sword-Bearing Water Women was MUCH friendlier than the Scandinavian cultures featured in Beowulf.

*will need to make a whole other post abt that guy

**spn aside, the Arthur/Beowulf thing is FASCINATING and I need to write something with it at some point

They could have been friends. Its not impossible. Their story could have begun the same as it did in spn...

It ended differently the first time (THE FIRST TIME. SPN WASNT THE FIRST TIME. FUCK!!!!). Still in tragedy, just a different kind, a slower kind. Did Grendel or his Mother see Wealhtheow at Heorot after she was married/given/captured? Did Wealhtheow see them? Did they speak, or part in silence, knowing that they were now on opposite sides of an impassable boundary?

Did Wealhtheow hold back tears as she saw Grendel's arm, and later his head, and learned what had happened to his Mother?

Did she remember her friends?

.....FUCKKKKKKK

Charlie has almost definitely read Beowulf, but I don't know if Sam & Dean ever told her (any version of her) about the Mark of Cain situation. Did she recognize them in the text? Did she recognize herself?

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Can we get something with Jason and his disabled!reader just doing couple things?

"Hey pretty lady," Jason rumbled, setting his book aside and smiling when you walked through the door.

"You need your eyes checked," you sigh, unclipping Cola's leash.

Jason grumbled and held his arms out, "Perfect vision, thank you," he said pulling you into his lap when you get into arm's reach.

"Everything about you is perfect," you murmur, snuggling into his arms.

He chuckled and rubbed your thigh, "Not everything," he chuckled.

"Name one thing," you pout.

"I've been having some issues with a little swelling," he hummed, "Mostly whenever my hot ass girlfriend is half-naked in my bed."

"Jay-" You feel your face heat and you bite your lip to keep from smiling.

"And she makes the cutest little noise when I kiss this spot on her belly-" You cut him off, kissing him to shut him up and he smiles against your lips.

"Good day shopping, though?" he asked, kissing your nose.

"I found some good tennis shoes," you answer shrugging.

"You were supposed to be finding a dress for the Gala," he said frowning. When you left that morning with Cass and Steph you'd been a little excited. But decidedly not looking for new sneakers.

You shrug again, "Nothing was right today. It happens."

Jason nodded and pulled you closer, kissing your head. "So when are you gonna-"

"I'll probably just wear a dress I already have. No one really notices me anyway. Not unless they wanna talk about my projects and-"

It was Jason's turn to kiss you quiet and he did, "We'll find you a nice dress. You hate the ones you have," he hummed, "Maybe we can have someone make-"

"It's fine," you murmur, looking away. "I know I shouldn't complain. My pain's been really good lately and- It's stupid but-"

"But what?" he pressed when you trail off.

"I just want to feel pretty," you sigh, reaching down to pet Cola. "I just- I know it's stupid. I'm not and it doesn't-"

"Fuck do you mean you're not?" Jason grumbled, kissing your cheek.

"I'm not I know and it's okay I just-"

"Stop being mean to yourself because you think you deserve it. You're beautiful. No matter what you're wearing. You can wear sweatpants and one of my ratty ass shirts and I'll still pop a boner if you hug me too long."

The mental image makes you snort and Jason kisses you again, "We'll get you a fancy fucking dress," he promised. "And some comfortable shoes. Everyone's gonna wonder what the fuck you're doing with a slob like me."

"I don't think anyone's gonna think that- people flirt with you all the time."

"Yeah. But can they quote Beowulf? Doubt it."

[annieoftheshitposts]

GOD right yeah so the scrapped arg. this stuff is OLD, like, from 2018 ok. but even if it never went anywhere i did have a ton of fun coming up with the mechanics and story, and did a decent bit of groundwork for getting it set up, so this is a long post with a lot of images.

for a good long while i was kicking around the idea of a doing “double takeover” thing where, for one reason or another, annie would just be Not Around, and not the one answering questions. just suddenly switch to double shapeshifted as annie and never comment on it until someone tried to point it out. i did a handful of sketches exploring this.

the sword? you mean this sword that ive defintiely always had and didn’t just shapeshift out of my body? yeah it’s a cool sword.

i like to imagine double would just be really fucking salty about any praise annie gets too. and then the inevitable heel turn when someone Did catch on and call her out.

it never really went anywhere because frankly annie’s too powerful for most forces in the sg universe to be able to keep her restrained somewhere against her will; there was a vague idea about her somehow having gotten separated from sagan, which would not only severely nerf her power but also provide prime angst material. ultimately though it was all still just idle musings, until i started thinking about how i was gonna handle annie’s eventually being included in indivisible, and how to do asks with the characters in that game.

so first off, there was gonna be this whole Mechanic™ for how she passed between the two games; nothing super fancy, if anyone remembers star vs. the forces of evil and how the “dimensional scissors” worked there, it’s pretty much the same thing. just a little trinket she can pull out and make portals/holes between game universes.

second, only annie and sagan can use the said portals; any other characters or objects that try to go through, from either side, are met with a sort of ‘compatibility error’; just in that the programming to let them exist isn’t present in the other game, and so they can’t pass through. anything else that does try to go through just kind of gets vaporized. momentarily. it re-materializes a few seconds later, wherever it was last before trying to go through so nbd. yknow the material emancipation grids from portal? it’s like that but it just sort of rewinds stuff a few seconds instead of killing it.

i was going to have beowulf try to follow her into indivis world and then promptly get vaporized to demonstrate this, which would have been really funny. for me. not so much for annie, watching it happen.

dont worry though hes fine. again it’s only momentary, it just caught them off-guard. i could never hurt dear sweet beowulf.

so anyway we go on answering asks normally with annie going back and forth between indivis and sg for awhile; however long it takes to get comfortable with the game-hopping mechanic, and then at one point when we’re Supposed to have her travel back to sg-verse, i just pull out the pink double-annies and say Nothing. this is where the arg begins.

the first leg of this is figuring out what the hell happened to annie. someone would have to call double out for Not Being Annie and start questioning her about what happened, and at some point i’d find a way to slip in that double has been using “console commands” on the blog, which you are to also then do. i did actually make the console command page, though it’s still 100% in messy beta test phase and there’s not really anything there that finalized or presentable or functional. but it exists and you can go look at it if you want, i don’t intend on deleting it. the important thing there is the “camera focus” toggle/links; this would have been the main gimmick of the arg. the camera is, by default, set to “main”, which is this “annieoftheshitposts” blog. annie is the player character here who receives the asks, so there’s not usually any discrepancy. however, now, with her being missing,  when you toggle the camera to view the “player character”, you’re brought to a DIFFERENT blog, where the real annie is, and where you are met with a post of annie now getting the whole “being vaporized when she tries to pass between games” deal.

very rough bc i only drew it for testing/placeholder purposes but you get the idea. so anyways then you’d send annie questions on this Other blog to ask her what’s going on and get her caught up to speed what you know about double being on the main one now, etc. at some point you would be told about an Additional camera control, to let you see/go to a Third blog with venus and aeon to send THEM asks and get further information. [fun fact, if you remember my venus redesign? this is what it was for!] anyway we’d spend a good bit of time here just bouncing back and forth questioning the characters and relaying information between them to piece together what was going on.

and what’s going on is this: you know how in that one ending it’s shown that venus and aeon have a Physical Cartridge of the game skullgirls?  they noticed annie had been slipping in and out of the game/sg universe, and thought “hey, wouldn’t it be neat if we could lock her out permanently so she’s not always fucking up our endeavors?” and then they hacked/modded their game;  specifically to remove/patch annie out so that she gets the same ‘compatibility error’ thing when trying to return home and just becomes Stuck in indivis universe. yknow the whole shtick with vanellope in wreck-it ralph? pretty much that.

so then the second leg of the arg is getting her written/coded back IN to the skullgirls ‘verse. i never really figured out much about this part though. i was doing some stuff on twinery about like, passwords or something; you’d have to go on this whole goose chase to find them and then enter them on there and it’d let you access the actual stuff to do the little ‘coding’ activities or whatever. i dont know it has been like 4 years since i was actively planning all this. but anyway once all that is Done you’d go back to annie to let her know, and then she can go back home to this main blog to beat double’s ass and get things back to normal. the end!

but yeah i killed this blog to go focus on working with my own original stuff, and then indivisible itself also Fucking Died before annie ever got added, so all this is 200% never happening. but now you know.

[waywardnerd67]

The Towel Drop

Title: The Towel Drop Summary: After seeing videos on social media, Jensen decides to take part in a unique challenge. Paring: Jensen Ackles x Reader Word Count: 1376 Rating: X - Explicit Warnings: Fluff/Smut Square Filled: Jensen Ackles Bingo Card: Tell Me A Story Bingo - @supernatural-jackles​ A/N: None

Check Out: Tell Me A Story Bingo Masterlist

Jensen was sitting in his office killing time waiting for (Y/N) to finish her classes for the day. Currently he was down the Facebook videos rabbit hole. Cute pet videos, phony texts stories, but his favorite were the reaction videos from people walking in on their partners naked. He found himself sitting there for half an hour laughing at them. Then an idea popped into his head.

He walked into their master bathroom stripping off all his clothes. It was hard to believe that almost a year ago he was looking in the mirror as Dean Winchester for the last time. Now, his hair was past his ears. His beard was fully grown in and bushy driving (Y/N) crazy. His body was even forenign to him with a steady diet of protein and veggies along with weightlifting five days a week. As Misha had commented recently he Hulked up.

Turning on the shower, he stepped beneath the scalding water. Allowing the heat to relax his muscles he began his normal routine. Once he was out, Jensen wrapped a towel around his waist slicking his hair back with his hands. He glanced down at his phone seeing her last class of the day should be ending soon. The fluttering in his stomach sent waves of excitement throughout his body.

Jensen walked out of their room and downstairs to (Y/N)’s office. She could hear her laughter coming from behind the door. He was thankful that she had faced her desk towards the door so her students would not have to see if he walked in. Dropping the towel to the floor, he opened the door slowly peeking around the corner. Her eyes were focused on the two monitors filled with the faces of high schoolers.

He stepped inside the doorway placing his hands on his hips. (Y/N) virtual teaching during the pandemic had shown him how much he loved watching her work. For hours, he would listen to her teach about Shakesphere and Beowulf. By the time she would get a break he would be in desperate need of a release carrying her off to their couch and ravishing her.

“Alright, your research papers need to be ten pages, double space, times roman and twelve point font. Make sure you use MLA formatting and citation for your sources. This paper counts as half your final…”

She looked up to see him standing there naked his cock getting harder with each word she spoke. Slowly he wrapped his fingers around himself staring right at her.

She swallowed hard, “Um… this paper counts as half of your final grade. Are there any q-questions?” Her eyes trailed up his body biting her lip.

He could not hear her students due to the headphones covering her ears. Lazily he stroked himself leaning against her door frame. She shook her head, a beautiful smile spreading across her face.

“Yes Marie, that is a perfect subject for this paper. Okay, that is all for today. I will see you guys on Friday.” She finally tore her eyes away from him waving to her monitor before they snapped back up to him, “Jensen Ackles, what in the hell are you doing?”

He shrugged, still running his hand over his hard length, “I thought I would catch your reaction.”

Her laughter filled the room, “Oh my god, you’ve been watching Facebook videos again.”

“May-be.” He watched as she stood walking towards him, her eyes focused on his hand.

“Was my reaction everything you were hoping for?” She licked her bottom lip dragging it beneath her teeth.

He gently squeezed the base of his dick moaning softly, “Depends on what happens next pretty girl.”

A shiver went down his spine as she got on her knees in front of him and parted her lips, “What are you waiting for? I’m dying to taste you.”

He rubbed the tip across her lips before pushing into her mouth. His body trembled, sighing at the sudden warmth and vibration from her moaning around him. Her hands gripped his thighs digging her nails into them as he pulled out of her and pushed back in.

“Fuuuck…” He rolled his head back against his shoulders as she took control, bobbing her head along his length.

Gathering her hair in his hands, Jensen tugged her head back gently, her mouth popping off his cock. She groaned in disappointment, a trail of spit going down her chin.

“Babe… I wasn’t done yet…”

He chuckled, “I need to come inside of you and the way you were sucking me off I was going to make it.”

Jensen picked her wrapping her legs around him and made it as far as the stairs before she wiggled out of his grasp. He watched her remove her clothes quickly flinging them in every direction before kneeling on the stairs. He sucked in a breath as she parted her legs and stuck her perfect ass in the air. Her fingers slipped between her slick folds.

“Need you here, now.” She begged, pushing two fingers inside of her.

Jensen’s head was already spinning from desire watching her needily fingering herself. Placing one hand on the small of her back positioning himself right at her entrance. She tried to push back onto him, but he pulled back loving the growl coming from her.

“Jensen Ackles either fuck me or let me take care of myself!”

Gripping her hips, he inched his cock inside of her. The noises escaping her lips making it damn near impossible for him to keep from fucking her into the stairs like she wanted him too. He wanted her to come completely undone, begging him before giving in to his primal desires.

Each thrust was slow, deliberate and wonderful feeling her tighten around him. He dug his fingers into her hips pulling out of her then sinking back into her snapping his hips against her. Her hands were balled into fists pounding against the stairs.

“Oh god, Jensen please… please fuck me hard. Oh fuck, please Jensen!”

And he did. The sounds of their skin connecting echoed up the stairway. His heart racing in his ears chasing after the release he badly was in need of. (Y/N) moans shaking him to his core as she pushed against every thrust he made.

“Baby, I’m so close… need to feel you come with me.”

He bent over her, reaching his hand around between her legs. His fingers rubbing against her clit as she tightened around his cock screaming his name. That’s all it took for him to fall over the edge pounding into her until he felt her body go limp in his grasp. He pushed in her one last time, shaking as he did.

“Fuck… oh my god… oh my god…” (Y/N) mumbled into the stairs before groaning loudly as he pulled out of her, “Uhh… so empty now.”

Jensen chuckled slumping against the railing, “Shit baby, I don’t think I can walk right now.”

“Me either… I’ll just take a nap right here.” She laid out over the stairs.

Finally, he was able to get himself standing and carried (Y/N) up to their bedroom where they took a nice, long nap. Waking up as the night sky was showing off the stars, they made their way back downstairs for some dinner. (Y/N) went to grab her phone from her office as he ordered some pizza.

“Shit!” She yelled, coming out in a panic, “I forgot I had a staff meeting today. Great.”

Guilt filled his chest, pulling her into his arms, “I’m sorry, that’s my fault for distracting you.”

He felt her sigh before she looked up at him, “Honestly, you probably saved me from an hour of boredom that could have been an email. I’d say being unable to walk for hours and the most amazing orgasm of my life was well worth it.”

He laughed, lifting her up on the counter and kissing her, “Well we have about an hour before the pizza is here. I think I might be in the mood for an appetizer.” He knelt down spreading her legs and diving in.

“Oh god… thank you for this man being in my life.”

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[kiwikipedia]

Great White, Great Red

Fandom(s): Fate/Grand Order, Fate Series

Rating: Gen/T (swearing, minor violence, a single shark)

Summery: Beach Singularities are always strange. Achilles is gonna have to get used to Chaldea's other Servants.

AO3

I don't remember when someone suggested this but it was a while ago. This has been sitting unfinished for a while in my drafts

Achilles wasn’t exactly sure how he got roped into it, but here he was.

Sitting on a dock.

Holding a fishing pole.

He supposed it could be worse, he could be waiting tables instead of catching the fish for the small, beach-side diner that Chaldea found itself assisting.

Aside from him, there were a few other Servants on the dock, all fishing and hoping for the best— well, Ivan, Li Shuwen, and a few of the children Servants weren’t exactly on the dock, the Russian Tsar was standing in what was waist-deep water for him and the Lancer was on his shoulder. Jack, Abigail, and Nursery Rhyme were on the Mammoth’s head.

Cú and the other Irish Servants were nearby— though Medb was more or less being held in a chokehold by Scáthach at the moment— and Arthur and EMIYA seemed to be having fun with Beowulf on another part of the dock.

Achilles sighed, leaning back as he swung his legs. Fishing really wasn’t his idea of an exciting singularity activity. If he was really feeling childish, he would huff that it wasn’t fair that Jason, Atalanta, and a few others got to go with the Master and fight monsters in the forest while he was here fishing.

Sighing again, the Rider looked up at the sky as the lure of his fishing line bobbed lazily in the waters.

“Having fun?” Cú asked as he walked past, holding a bucket of bait. Achilles snorted.

“I wouldn’t call this fun, so to speak,” he grumbled, “I don’t get how you guys can sit still for so long.”

The Lancer just laughed. “You’ll get used to it!” he said as he continued on down the dock towards Diarmuid and Fergus. Achilles just made a face before he sighed yet again. He seemed to be doing that a lot, but he couldn’t help it— he was bored.

It was just after he had said that did yelling erupt from further out.

The Rider wiped his head around. The yelling— or rather screaming— was coming from Ivan, or well, the children atop Ivan’s head. Throwing his fishing pole to the side, he bolted to his feet and down the dock.

Of course, Achilles needn’t have worried as he noticed the girls were shrieking with excitement. With a simple tug of Ivan’s hand, a large fish was pulled out of the water.

Well, “large fish” was an understatement.

“Great White Shark” was far more accurate— and correct.

Ivan had reeled in a goddamn Great White.

There was a flash of red and a large splash before Achilles realized what happened.

“Li Shuwen fucking punched a shark, didn’t he?” He asked aloud.

Fergus burst out laughing.

“This happens every time we end up at a beach,” Scáthach assured with a shake of her head. “You’ll get used to it.”

He made a face at that, as the redhead surfaced, along with the carcass of the said shark. Thank the gods that this singularity was just a singularity— didn't Li Shuwen know sharks were endangered?

Well, either way, Achilles was certain that if Li Shuwen didn't punch one thing per singularity, the Chinese Lancer would go insane.

Yeah, Achilles wasn't sure if he would get used to it, really.