#germans never explained what would happen to the kids & all

[lovifie]

Simon “I Will Never Be A Father” Riley, and how he ended up with a football team worth of kids.

CW: Like 2k words of fluffy Simon, and then 1k words of filth, massive breeding kink, creampie, disgusting sext talk mess. Enjoy! 🩷

Masterlist - Taglist Form

It's not his fault, it's yours. 

He met you really early in both of your careers, before either of you had really any important ranks, nor years of experience. 

But a mission together to recollect some intel was enough for the two of you to learn each other's names. 

It was back when rage still blinded more of Simon's senses, the loss of her family still recent. But you didn't know, obviously, and he wouldn't tell you. 

During that mission, he would constantly snap at you, unnecessary remarks and barks at you whenever you would ask something. 

Not that you would back down because of the overgrown chihuahua, usually just shouting back and ignoring him. Letting him to simmer in his guilty feelings.

But the time together helped to learn what buttons to press and when to act as if you hadn’t seen something, and by the time you made it back to base, to your different units; you said goodbye shaking hands and saying: “Nice to meet you, Riley. Don't die.”

He didn't say it back, but he felt it more. 

Years went by before he saw you again, and after a while, he simply assumed you did in fact, die. 

He was higher in his career, already being respected by most and always addressed as Ghost. The rage of his past was already on a secondary level. 

More mature, more knowledgeable, more experienced. 

But for some reason, he couldn't forget you. He had come across so many different people who would back down just for him looking at them, yet when he screamed at you, you didn't let him win. 

He missed you. 

He would never admit it, but he missed the girl he met on that mission those years back. Maybe if he had said it back you would be alive. 

Maybe.

“Riley?!” An unmistakable voice asks, radiant with happiness from his back. 

He turns around, eyes wide open looking for the source, for the girl he met so long ago, for the girl he thought had died. 

But he sees you.

The woman, on the same rank as his, grown, more mature, more knowledgeable and more experienced. 

Scars and wounds adorning your body just like his. 

“What is that mask, Riley?” You ask, smiling widely. “You turned emo?!”

You laugh loudly as you finally walk up to him, an awkward position of not knowing how to say hi after so long apart. 

“Aye, didn't want people falling in love with me like you did.” He says, completely baffling but still hoping it was true. 

“Argh.” You say, rolling your eyes as you slap his arm. “Well, excuse me, lover boy. Didn't know you have spent all this time fighting the ladies.”

There hasn't been any ladies. Not after you. He realises it in that moment.

“It's the uniform.” He explains, a stupid smug smirk under the mask. “And you? What have you been up to?”

“The usual, learned German, I knit now, killed a couple of hundred terrorists, and got my flying licence!” You enunciate, slightly jumping with the last. 

He doesnt realizes that the mask is not covering his eyes, and that no matter how cold and stoic he tries to act; you can see clearly as day the affection and happiness from seeing you again. 

This time, when you say goodbye, you keep each other numbers. A way to stay in contact, to check once a month if you are still alive. 

But again, time goes by before meeting in person again. 

And when it happens, Ghost is already on the 141; and it's not him the one that sees you first. 

“We are having a surprise guest on the next operation.” Price says one morning while they are having breakfast. “She’s from another base, but has an amazing resume. She's a lieutenant too. And with an ugly character, like you” He says, pointing at Ghost.

And he knows it's you. 

It gotta be. 

And a couple of days later, when you enter the mess hall; walking behind him and slapping the back of his head, he is elated.

“I knew I was smelling trash.” You say, looking down on him. Barely a bit taller than him when he is seated. 

He turns his body, resting his arm around your hips. “How long are going to be following me for, ya rat?”

“Hmm, not my fault you can't do your fucking job, useless bitch.” You say with a smile on your face as you rest your arm over his shoulders. 

“Well, somebody gotta take out the trash, you cunt.” He says, a smug smile on his face. 

“Aww, are you telling me to take you out, lover boy?” You say, resting your hand on your chest. That makes him bark a laugh, patting your side after, before saying. “I'm glad to see you are still in one piece, idiot.”

“The feeling is mutual, dickhead.” 

And that was the first time that Simon’s hand was resting on your hips, but definitely not the last. 

The first mission together with the 141 was an absolute shit show, everything that could have gone wrong… went wrong. And if it wasn't because of your stubbornness, it would have been Simon’s last mission.

Being trapped under debris, unable to get out of the burning building. Everyone was already out, only him inside, talking on the radio to tell the team to leave him behind. 

Except you, who managed to slip through Price's orders and run into the obvious death trap. Able to take the debris keeping Simon trapped with his help, both of you using the extra strength that only comes out in emergencies. Unknowingly, both of you going to the extreme of your resistance to make sure the other didn't die inside the building. 

And when he was in the hospital bed, days later, and you came to visit him, and you leaned forward and kissed him. It was the first kiss, but not the last one. 

The two of you, already adults perfectly functional, able to instruct armies, take down terrorist organisations, and yet… it was not until 8 months after the first kiss that one of you managed to ask the other out.

“The team were going out for drinks tonight, but they bailed… do you want to go still? The two of us?”

To this day, Simon still believes it was his doing that the two of you went alone to the pub, and you still have not had the heart to tell him it was you the one who asked Price, Soap and Gaz to tell him they couldn't go.

And once the door was opened, everything went smoothly and easily. Not bothering to call the relationship in any way, as if the two of you haven't been exclusive to the other from the first moment you met. 

Still, even more time went on before something more than kisses went down. Until the two of you went on separate missions, months spent apart from each other, only to reach base again at the same time. 

And as if you had planned, you walked to each other room. Meeting exactly in the middle and jumping into each other arms. 

Not that anyone else on the team had doubts about what went on between the two of you, but still was a surprising view. And you pulled Simon by his hand inside of his room, every doubt crumb was erased. 

And once it started, everything else went in a blur. By the time you took notice, the two of you were already married for a couple of years, the honeymoon phase was still strong, and expecting your first child. 

And Simon, who had always promised he would never have kids, now was obsessed with your pregnant self. During the pregnancy, he couldn't keep his hands away from your body.

Constantly feeling you up, every inch of skin, from your hips, to your breast, to your tummy. Completely obsessed and enamoured with your body, changing and adjusting to bear his child. His big-ass child. That had you wabling from the second trimester. 

He missed the birth, away on a mission when you were in your seventh month. Promising the mission would last a week, but he didn't take a step into your house until three months later. He didn't look Price at his face for weeks after the due date passed. 

The worst part was that there was no communication with you, complete radio silence. Again, like so many years ago; you could be dead and he wouldn't know. 

And when the plane landed, he took the quickest shower of his life. Because the worst case scenario was coming home to an empty house, but the worst second was holding his child for the first time with the blood of his enemies still on his hands. He wouldn't taint such an innocent thing. 

The door almost fell from the hinges when he entered, eyes looking through the house. Breathing only because he could see light from the bedroom, and then you walked out of the room. 

Looking at him with tears on your eyes as you run to him, jumping on his arms and getting crushed by his hug. Muttering apologies as he kissed your head, he still has not forgiven himself for failing you that day. 

You shake your head, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bedroom. He freezes on his spot, as if he just remembered that he had a child; your abdomen way flatter than when he left. 

“C’mon, Si… Do you not want to meet your son?” 

A son.

He had a son. 

He followed you into the room, unable to say a word as he saw the tiny human sleeping in the middle of the bed. 

He walked behind you, waiting for instructions, his brain struggling to work normally. You tell him to sit down, picking the baby to lay him on his arms. The father finally holding his son for the first time.

And when the baby exhaled a satisfied sigh at the warmth pooling from Simon’s body, the first tear rolled down his cheek.

He didn't sleep that night, it didn't matter that he had barely been able to sleep the weeks before, he couldn't pull his eyes away from the baby. So that night, he stayed seated, with the baby on his arms and with you sleeping by his side.

The happiest night of his life. 

He finally took his parental leave, almost smashing the phone against the wall when Price called him; even though it was to congratulate him. 

And Simon, who always had believed he would never have kids, now had one. And that might have been the first child he had, but it was definitely not the last one. 

Because a couple of weeks later, when the two of you went to base; to introduce the baby to his teammates, Simon couldn't stop thinking about how good you looked with his child strapped to your body. 

His little head resting over your full breasts, sleeping and perfectly unaware of every problem in the world. But Simon couldn't stop looking at your chest, body changed to bear and care for his child; it was only fair he paid back. 

So when Gaz asked if he could hold the baby, it was Simon who helped you take the baby out of the little koala backpack; letting him hold it.��

And with a weak excuse, took you to his bedroom. Barely managing to close the door before bending you over his desk, pulling your pants down and stuffing your cunt with his thick fingers. Giving you barely any prep before the strain on his hardening shaft was too much for him to keep it away from your soaked cunt. Groaning in your ear as he thrusts fast and hard into your sweet pussy, rubbing your clit with his fingertip making you cling into the desk. 

“Such a good fucking mama you are.” He moans into your ear. “Driving me fucking crazy every time I look at you, so fucking beautiful, so fucking breathtaking, darling.”

Half of what he says doesn't make sense and the other half you can't even hear from over the sounds of the moans. 

“Gonna fuck you full of my child again, gonna keep you barefoot and pregnant, mama.” He moans again, kissing your neck from behind as his free hand keeps roaming your body, needing to feel more and more of you. “Looking like a bloody goddess with my child, gonna keep fucking you until it fucking catches, and then again, and again, and again… Do you want that, mama? Do you want it as much as me?”

“Fuck, yes!” You moan back, just as fuck out as him. The unforgiving pace pushing the breath out of your lungs, your legs barely able to hold your weight but it's not like Simon would let you fall. 

More and more words and promises keep falling from Simon's mouth, making it hard for your orgasm to take any longer to wash over you. 

But then Simon turns you around, laying you on your back and pulling your legs up, your knees beside your head; before he starts to thrust into you again, his happy trail rubbing against your clit. 

“Gonna make it catch, gonna fuck you so deep it is not even going to spill. Gonna get you fucking pregnant again, and this time I'm not gonna go away for a fucking second. Gotta give the little shit a sibling, ah?”

The stretch of your legs being pulled so back into your head making it almost uncomfortable if you were able to think at the moment. Your hands grabbing into his forearms to steady yourself. 

“The best fucking mama in the world you are, ah? Taking such good care of him.” He groans, engulfing your boob with his enormous hand. “Getting these tits fucking massive just for him, fucking little shit don't know how lucky he is to get such a good fucking moma.”

And you are ashamed to admit it, but the disgusting praises are enough to throw you over the edge; your head falling back against the desk with a loud cry of his name. 

“Fucking hell, darling.” He groans just like you. “That's it, choke my fucking cock, love. Milk it dry, suck it in. Fuck! Such a fucking perfect cunt, I would fucking live here. Sucking me in so good, such a greedy fucking cunt. I'm gonna fuck you so deep, I'm gonna give you twins, darling.”

And he doesn't give you time to breathe, his hips slapping hard against yours making you mewl at the overstimulation. Clenching down at the prolonged orgasm. 

You hear him groan over your exhausted body. “Fuuuck… Shit, love. Yeah… just like that, take it in, love, take it in. Hold it in, don't let it go to waste love.”

You fill him spill deep inside of you, pulling your legs impossibly higher lifting your butt off the desk, bending you in half with your cunt completely exposed. 

“Such a beautiful fucking cunt.” He says before leaning down, kissing your clit as if he was pecking your lips, only for him to literally make out with your cunt. Making you hiss and pull his hair back to make him stop and be able to breathe for a second. 

He pulls his head back, only to accumulate the saliva and arousal on his mouth and spit it back over your cunt making you shudder. He lowers your legs, impaling you back on his still hard shaft, pulling the breath from your lungs once more. 

“There you go, mama. Stuffed and plugged, so there is no risk.” He says, letting your legs rest down as he moves his hands to each side of your hips, pushing you impossibly closer to him, hitting as deep as he has ever reached. Slightly moving you up and down so your clit rubs against his pelvic bone, making you whine as you clench around him.

“Simon… Si, I need to fucking breathe.” You whine, trying to grab his hand.

“Nah, you got this…” He says without looking at your face, completely hypnotised by the way your folds part to take his cock in. “You are doing amazing, sweetheart.” 

Is only hours later, that Simon comes out of his room. Clothes changed, showered and without you (who is currently sleeping on his bed, too exhausted to even stay awake), and he walks up to the mess hall, where he assumed the boys are. 

Picking his beloved son from his captain's hands. “There you are, my boy.” He says softly, picking up the baby that looks ridiculously small in his arms. “Time for bed.” 

“Oi, LT!” Soap calls him. “So when is his sibling being born?”

He looks at Soap, his expression changing to a stern one. “Don't be disgusting, Johnny. That's my family you are talking about, have some decency”.

Taglist:

@crashtestbunny @going-to-ikea-for-the-fries @waiting-so-long @mothymunson @cod-z 

@lyralein @whos-fran @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @dumb12bvtch1212 

@thatonepupkai @darkangel4121  @spadekip @herefor-tojis-tits @soupinasock  

@arbesa-mind @cmbghost @multifandomheathenannie @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk 

@reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles @ghosts-hoe @cassiecasluciluce @sleepdeprivedkat 

@lunamoonbby @hatterripper31 @contractedcriteria @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @fraserbraw 

@rosiehale23 @keiva1000 @sw33tsnow @loveandplanet @sobbingnshtting 

@dprmoon @simpsallthetime1997 @ladyxtiger @soapsmohawk-16 @nina6708 

@katreintjie @sacvh @archenillo @thesinsoflust @sodavrr 

@yuki2129 @mikaronn @idk-justkane @shanhalen @thatoneslvt 

[f0point5]

would you consider writing the time when max realized that he loved yn?

i remember that he was like in a mindset of idgaf what happens with her im js happy being best friends and having her in my life but i wonder how he got to that point

The way this came out…idk I hope you like it 😂 I really wish I’d retconned this whole situation but I stayed true to the fic timeline.

I just…I really hope you don’t hate it 🫠

✨Set after Max wins his 3rd championship in Qatar✨

Honestly, who (is he) to fight the alchemy?

Max has been in love before. He knows what it feels like. It felt like winning a race. The adrenaline, the elation, the satisfaction, the sliver of relief. He didn’t think there was a better feeling, and if you feel that when you’re with someone, then that must be love.

He never felt like that with you. So he wasn’t in love. He loved you, but he wasn’t in love. Thank God for that, he’d always thought to himself. Max didn’t put effort into games he wouldn’t win and the games you played with men didn’t have a rule book. He was just so lucky, to have you as a friend, and a roommate, and a feline co-parent, and that’s how it would stay.

Except, when the journalist had asked him if you were going to live with him after he retired, he didn’t know what to say. Of course you would, except, how would your boyfriend feel about that? And of course he wanted you to, but he wanted a family, too. But you were family, in some complicated way that he’d never realised before that moment might mean that you wouldn’t always be…with him.

And he didn’t have the desire or the language skills to explain that to a random German journalist. He’d rattled off some answer about how he never knew what the future would bring. It was true, he didn’t think much about the future. But he should have, because when he did it always had you in it.

He wanted a house, and a wife, and kids. It wasn’t like he envisaged doing all that with you. Except, he hadn’t envisaged doing any of it without you, either. It was always you imagined having breakfast with, you he imagined would teach his kids to ski, you he thought about when he thought about buying one of those mansions in the hills above Monaco. Naively, he hadn’t imagined either of you with partners that would mind you and Max living your lives together. It sounded fucking stupid when he thought about it. But, it’s not like he was going to marry you, because he’s not in love with you.

It’s not like I’m in love with her. He’d said that before.

Aren’t you, Max?

Isn’t he?

Is he?

So now here he is, at this totally-not-a-party party, celebrating his this third world championship, wondering if he’s in love. Wondering if that even matters. The music is loud, not enough to drown out his thoughts. He can’t even drink too much because he still has a race tomorrow. He feels lightheaded enough.

He doesn’t know why he’s questioning himself. He has an answer. He knows what being in love feels like, and he doesn’t feel that about you. How he does feel about you, is…not quantifiable. Except he’d really like a name for it right about now. One that’s not going to spin his whole world off its axis. But then, he’s not exactly the axis, is he? Not really.

He should feel like the centre of the universe tonight. He’s lost count of how many times he’s received praise and congratulations, plaudits, and pictures, even gifts. Everyone wants to be in his orbit, everyone wants to talk to him, everyone except you.

You’re leaning against the balcony, bopping along to the music, talking to his dad of all people, your flushed face and lazy grin telltale signs you’ve had too much to drink. Jos is as close as he ever gets to smiling, a telltale sign he’s had too much to drink, and the two of you are, as usual, talking over each other. His eyes linger on your long legs and gentle curves. It would be cutting a corner, to say he’s in love with you, because how can you not be at least a little bit infatuated with the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen? But that’s not love, exactly. Even half drunk, with all this talk of spinning and the party beginning to blur at its edges, the only thing he can see clearly is you. You don’t even notice him looking, because you’re so used to feeling eyes on you.

No, being around you has never felt like winning much of anything. It actually feels a bit like he’s fighting for his life. It feels like…driving, he realises, as the gin starts to hit.

Being around you was like being in the RB19. Like being behind the wheel of something that could kill you, but fits you like a second skin. Like the illusion of having control of a force of nature. It was like living on a knife edge, but building a home there. Comfortable with the uncomfortable, they’d called him, and nothing had ever made him as uncomfortable as you.

If that was being in love, he’d probably been in love with you for as long as his dad said he was.

You don’t notice him looking, but Jos does. He waves Max over, and Max is glad for an excuse. His body gets up before he’s decided to, and he blinks furiously as he walks, trying to focus his thoughts enough to hold a conversation with you when he’s beginning to think he might-

“Maxy,” you say, grinning like it’s the first time you’ve seen him all night.

Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, fuck. The gin’s coming back. For a second he feels like he’s either going to ask you to marry him or vomit all over you.

“I’m leaving. She’s all yours,” Jos says, and Max steadies himself. His dad leans over and gives him one last hug before switching to Dutch. “Get her to bed. And yourself, also. You’ve still got to race tomorrow,”

Max nods and waves him off, closing his arms around you when you wobble, leaning into him for stability. Jos gives you a pat on the shoulder before disappearing into the crowd, and you teeter again, pushing you further into Max. The extra weight is like a balm on what is now a gaping, raw wound, with the nerves exposed. He will never recover from this.

You turn in his arms, scrunching your nose in displeasure as you look up at him. “I hate this hat,” you flick the brim of his World Champion cap. “Worst hat they ever made you. Next year, we do a better one,”

“Okay,” he says, chuckling as the hat leaves his head.

“Can I have this?” You’ve already put it on.

“Sure,”

Take it. Take my Valkyrie. Take the trophy. Take my last name.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He doesn’t know how he’s looking at you. Is it different than he looked at you two hours ago? Different then when you were 19?

He just shrugs, tipping the hat back for you, since it’s so big. “You’re drunk,” he yells over the music.

You lean in, so close that he’s intoxicated by the scent of your perfume, champagne, and Red Bull. He turns away from you slightly, because he’s had too much to drink to be this close to you.

“I know,” you whisper to him, your lips grazing his cheek as you talk. That’s not helping. He turns back to you, finding your eyes searching his. For the first time, he’s worried what you might see. Because you’ve always seen him too clearly. It was awful, then exhilarating, now it’s just fucking terrifying. Your eyes narrow and Max thinks you’re about to outright accuse him of wanting- “You’re supposed to be drunk, too,”

He laughs. He laughs at your pout, at getting away with it, for a little while longer, at least, and he laughs because on the night he’s won a world championship he realises he lost his heart a long time ago.

Loving you didn’t feel like a winning a race, it felt like driving in one. And after all, isn’t driving all he ever wanted to do?

“I am, Engel,” he says, “trust me, I am.”

[gender-euphowrya]

playing we happy few lately and Damn i should have played this sooner

[alpaca-clouds]

How to Blow Up a Pipeline (or: why the climate movement is failing)

Okay, talking about politics this week, let me talk about this amazing book that you all should read, because it is not that long and it really makes a lot of good points. I found this book through the Philosophy Tube video a couple of years ago.

So, what is this book about?

To put it lightly: It is about how the climate movement is failing over their refusal to use any sort of violence or sabotage. And it is about the ethics of violence.

Which is not only important to the climate movement, but all sorts of progressive movements. Which again brings me back to what I talked about so many times before: Being against a revolution is being against change. And the left in general has a problem with idealizing parcifism to an unhealthy degree.

Let me explain: The left has in general very much drunken the cool-aid to accept that there is no violence happening right now, so using violence against the perceived non-violence is wrong. But that entire idea is bullshit.

Letting people starve, while there is enough food around for everyone, is a form of violence.

Letting people die of preventable deseases, because they cannot afford health care, is a form of violence.

Letting people die in extreme weather, just so that a few people can profit from fossil fuels... Well, that is a form of violence, too.

But left people - especially white, leftists - have very much accepted that non-action can never be violence. So, not giving someone the food they need, cannot be violence in their point of view. So, using violence to act against the system that lets this happen again and again... that is "out of proportion" in their point of view. Because they do not suffer themselves, they do not perceive the violence.

The book talks about how specifically the climate movement refuses to use any form of violence, even just in the form of sabotage, in which no human would ever come to harm. Which is why the title is "how to blow up a pipeline". Because blowing up a pipeline would harm those, who profit from climate change, from the fossil fuels. The book is also about how the climate movement then goes ahead to appropriate civil rights leaders, without really understanding the context they were in. Because they will name Martin Luther King, Ghandi or Nelson Mandela as examples of people who succeeded with non-violence, without acknowledging that all three of those leaders were leaders of a non-violent group that closely associated with a violent movement that aimed for the same changes. And through that contrast - of a violent group and a peaceful group with widespread support - the people in power were forced to make a move to work towards them to some degree.

Now, technically the book involved nothing new to me. Because I thought about this topic - about the ethics and visuals of violence - for a long while now. It also is fitting with the entire French Revolution thing I spoke about on Sunday. Because we see it in the judgement of the French Revolution as well. On how there a) was a peaceful group first, and b) the violence that happened, happened in response to other violence.

And as the book points out: The fossil fuel industry does not care. As a German I know this too well. And I think it is no accident that a lot of the examples of this in the book come from Germany. Our climate movement here is very tame. It is mostly just kids (like people between their teens and early twenties) doing protests in forms of blocking streets and the likes. Yet, the fossil lobby and those in power will call that "terrorism" and will call that one time when folks tore down a fence at the coal mine as "extreme violent behavior". They are doing massive and at times violent police action against those KIDS, who organize the street blockades. Having thrown literal teenagers into prison for at times weeks, before judges intervened clearly saying that "the kids have done nothing illegal".

They do not care that the movement is non-violent. And the movement will not get anywhere, without some group standing in and doing some damage to the most important thing those people can think of: Their base line.

[honeygrahambitch]

My favorite hypothesis in this fandom are probably those related to Hannibal's trauma about speaking Lithuanian. And if you are not familiar with the povs, they are basically that Hannibal would use Lithuanian words as love language for Will OR that he would just never want to use that language ever again cause it's way too stained by what happened in his past.

I, in general, love the idea of him using some words only with Will but this time I have a headcanon which considers the second option.

If Will and Hannibal had a baby (doesn't matter how, your choice) I think that Hannibal would manage to overcome his trauma and build something on that only by teaching his child to speak Lithuanian.

I am 100% a hannigram baby would be a multilingual baby. Cause Hannibal speaks french and italian and lithuanian and I'm pretty sure a few other languages as well and he would love his kid to learn some of those.

Will is happy with whatever he decides but he makes a comment at some point, as subtle as he can (not subtle at all). "What other languages can you speak?"

"I can do a bit of japanese." (Makes sense, his aunt was japanese, he had grown up with her at some point)

"That would be a bit too difficult for a toddler." Will goes on, still being subtle.

"I agree." Hannibal says. "But she is doing great with italian."

"I know, I think she taught me a few words yesterday." Will adds. Multilingual kids are not always aware when that they change a few languages in just one sentence. He is thinking of how to approach it. "Maybe you could also try something different?"

"Like german? I thought about that as well."

"No, not german..." He replies thinking of a reason. "It sounds bad."

"Then something slavic? I haven't practiced in years but at some point in my life I could do croatian well enough."

"Why would she need to know Croatian, Hannibal? The alphabet is too hard for a kid who is doing other two languages as well."

"Then what were you thinking? I have exhausted my list, dearest." He is amused with Will who is very neutral towards his impressive skills.

"You haven't exhausted it." Will says. "Yet."

Hannibal gestures for him to go on and explain.

"I was thinking our kid should be somehow more connected to our backgrounds."

The flicker in Hannibal's eyes dies instantly.

"We won't move back to the US and I want her to know a lot of things about it."

"Mhm. The US are sure not the elephant in the room." Hannibal says passively. "Just move on to what you've been trying to say for 30 minutes."

"I am not saying that you have to, I'm just saying that you should teach her Lithuanian. And me as well." He says softly and blinks a few times, trying to analyze the emotional battle that is going on inside Hannibal's head.

"I haven't spoken or written in Lithuanian in 40 years, my skills would lack."

"But that's not the problem, is it? We both know they wouldn't lack."

Hannibal sighs as Will sits on the sofa next to him.

"I know that's a whole tower in your memory palace, which I am trying to access. And I know you don't like it. And I also don't want to push you too far."

They had a lot of time to work better on their communication issues in the last years. You can't solve every conflict with a knife when you are trying to raise a child in a healthy atmosphere.

"I agree with the fact that she should be connected to our backgrounds. It's just... difficult."

"You have said before that Lithuanian reminds you of... everything. But I really believe that if you taught our kid Lithuanian, you wouldn't view it in the same light again. I think you can make something beautiful out of it."

"It makes me remember people that I will never talk to again. And that is something which will always be burnt deep down in my memory palace. If I take up Lithuanian again, then everything else comes to surface too."

"Make something else out of it. Make it the language you speak to your child, not a language that is stained by your past. Use it to call me in stupid cheesy ways that would probably sound like swearwords."

Hannibal cracks a smile when he sees the dumb look on Will's face. He knows he is trying his best not to hurt him.

"You are right, it's not phonetically pleasing. Not like Italian or french or-"

"It's yours, it will be phonetically pleasing to me."

**

Oh and it takes time. And it takes some processing. But they are getting there.

When their daughter is 14 she switches between languages very comfortably.

Will loves to watch her and Hannibal argue in Lithuanian. He has learnt enough words to tell what they are talking about but it's always more entertaining to watch.

Nothing softens Will more than being called mylimasis.

[zimthandmade]

wait are those death note characters??? i just assumed you were building your own oc verse

Uhm yeah, they are! I took A LOT of creative liberties with them so I understand the confusion but I'm gonna use this as an opportunity to clear things up a bit.

I built 2 Death Note AUs I'm currently drawing art for.

DN 2.0 | Trying to stay as close to manga canon as possible but changing up whatever I feel would explain some inconsistencies and make canon more believable. Strong focus on Wammy’s House and what happened during the timeskip for Mello and Matt. The main big change being that Wammy’s is a “normal” boarding school for highly gifted kids instead of an orphanage and does not raise their students to specifically become the next super-detective. Mello, Matt and Near have families and acutal lives outside the plot of Death Note. Death Note is just a short but impactful part of their lives. So there are redesigns and OCs involved. No romantic/sexual ships though.

DN 2.1 | DN 2.0 but Mello and Matt get romantically/sexually involved at some point because they are just a lot of fun together and I always had a weakspot for them 🖤

Since I'll probably never gonna work out everything I'm planning to do with this project, I'm just gonna be so bold and link you a Notion page with most of my notes to the 2.0 AU. I'm sure some of you will have a lot of fun with this too, not just me. It's all a WIP, a big ass collection of headcanons, so don't take any of it too seriously. Sorry for the german bits inbetween. Tbh I would love to hear your thoughts about this. Let's get talking!

[thetavolution]

Modern Day AU

I spent a moment to think what everyone would be up to in a modern day AU.

Astarion: He was pre-law when he got caught up with Cazador. It's less a vampire spawn situation and a more straightforward abuse situation. I think in the AU he was also much younger when Cazador found him. Once he breaks free of Cazador, he might go back into law. He'd end up in therapy and he'd probably have to take a step back to re-evaluate what he wants in life.

Gale: Of course he's a professor. With magic off the table in this particular AU, he'd probably teach as many subjects as they'd let him. Students would constantly have deja vu seeing him in so many classes. He'd be teaching somewhere like Cambridge or Oxford. The subjects that came to mind were English, History of Art, Linguistics, Philosophy, and for reasons I can't explain, German.

Shadowheart: Her ass would be in a cult. She was kidnapped into some kind of Gloriavale situation as a kid. She'd eventually get a taste of freedom and leave the cult for good, especially if a Tav comes her way. Then she'd write a tell-all book and do a lot of Ted Talks about it. As she got older, she'd become more reclusive. She'd write books from her little countryside house full of animals.

Halsin: Halsin would still be a tree-hugging hippy. He'd have an environmentalism related job, like wind turbine technician, environmental technician, or solar installer. (I imagine he'd want something very hands on.) He'd 100% be part of a nudist colony. He'd still be poly, and he'd be very choosey about who he lets into the polycule.

Lae'zel: She'd go to university where she'd be expanding her world. It would force her to unpack her unhealthy home life is. She was probably raised in a jingoistic family. After discovering the power of friendship and self-discovery, she'd make better choices for herself. She'd still be INCREDIBLY disciplined so I imagine she'd be an athlete. Either she'd do professional rugby or MMA. She might do pro wrestling. She wouldn't join the theatrics on purpose. They'd just tap into her natural persona for her character.

Karlach: She worked for Gortash before he made a name for himself in politics. I'm still trying to work out exactly what would happen to her. I imagine he framed her in this universe and she spent 10 years in prison instead of Avernus. Now she's out and wants revenge... but also would love to get her life back. Possibly she has a chronic illness that, if untreated, could kill her. It's not a 1-to-1 for her heart situation, but close.

Jaheira: She refuses to ever retire from her work. She's been a part of almost every humanitarian world org that'll have her, like The Peace Corps. She now runs her own organization that travels the world for humanitarian efforts. She's a widow and she's still the mother to several adopted children.

Wyll: He was on track to make his father proud. He was going to Oxford to study politics until he realized how much he hated it. His father is the mayor of a major city. I'm hesitant to say London because it feels too obvious. Instead, Wyll drops out to pursue humanitarian work. This is where his path crosses with Jaheira as he joins her organization. His father just doesn't get it and they're at odds over it.

Minthara: Military brat who grew up to join the British Military. In her off time, she's in the BDSM scene.

Orin: She is either running a true crime podcast or being talked about on one. Either that or she's a CEO of a drug company a la The Fall of the House of Usher (2023).

Gortash: This dude is running as a Tory and you know it. He left a huge trail of problematic behavior on his Twitter. He made an anonymous Reddit account to post relationship problems on, but everyone figured out it was him almost immediately.

Barcus: This poor man is so tired. He never found his "dream" and he's been going from job to job for decades. After he starts to stand up for himself, he opens an online store based on all his interests and thrives.

I might do more later, but this is all I could think of for now.

[daphnasworld]

originally I hadn't wanted to post anything about the current situation in Israel. Simply bc I wanted to use tumblr as a stress free place to distract myself. But i just saw someone I followed posting something horrible - and I have to say something about that.

Let me explain something first to you - I am german and jewish. I do not live in Israel but had been there a few times to see one of my grandmothers. You need to know that my paternal grandparents were jews living in Marocco but had to leave their home bc of antisemitism in the 60s, shortly before my father was born. Their families had lived in Marocco since ca the 1600. They had to pay nearly all of their money just so that they could afford to pay for the legal passports so that they could get on a boat and leave. As they were still scarred of Europe (bc of what happened in the 30/40s) and they didn't speak english they went to Israel. Simply bc they wanted to feel safe as jews (which btw isn't something common even today!). Anyway, my mothers family is german since forever - and christian. When my parents met my mother herself was still a christian. My father moved to germany and I was born and raised here. I speak hebrew rather bad and think all the time that I want to learn it but I always procrastinate. I am more of a cultural jew, but celebrate all the holidays with my family and eat more or less kosher (no pig, no crustations, i don't mix meat with milk products but I don't wait for hours after eating meat until i eat something with milk - mostly only a few minutes). Like many jews I got asked over the years if I would one day like to move to Israel. The answer is no. I am german and I want to stay in Germany. The only reason I would leave germany would be if something like the holocaust would be happening again. And even then I would look at the whole world to determine where it would be the safest for me. The existence of Israel is a huge relief to me. Because I know that at least there I will always have a safe place to turn to - I can't say that about any other country in the world. In every other country it would be depending on their current government. That had always been the case throughout history since Israel was first taken from the jews.

Now that you know that about me on to the original point of this post. Someone basically posted that what's happening now (terrorists coming to israel, killing civillians, taking people hostage to gaza, filming how they get belittled, spit on, insulted, hit and hurt in other ways - all including tourists and non jews and children) wasn't bad but what Israel deserved. They claimed that no Israelis are civillians but members of the army (yes, even premature born babies) and therefor deserved what happened to them. Of course they were saying that Israelis and jews are the same (which isn't true - there are Muslem and christian and atheist Israelis, but of course thats being ignored). Claiming that all Israelis stole that land - while ignoring that jews had been living there even before there had been talks of bringing Israel back. Of course they also feed the believe that all Israelis are originally from Europe and white - which of course also not true.

Anyway that post basically ended with all Israelis deserve that because no one of them is a civilian and they are all murderers. This triggered me rather badly. Because when I had been only 14 yeq4s old classmates had called me a murderer because I was jewish. Back than I keeped being jewish rather private - it was known that I am jewish, but I didn't talk about it and I never talked about Israel or my family there. So it wasn't like I was that kid talking about the politics there or something. I also wasn't islamophobic. On the contrary, i spoke up if someone said something racist or bigoted and I was happy to have muslim classmates as they too didn't eat pig. Which was back than a big thing in germany. It was before we got all those vegetarian or vegan dishes. Especially were I lived the menus of most restaurants contained dishes to 80 % with pig meat. So it was great that I wasn't the only one not eating pig. Because i had been the only jew in my school. Anyway, one day in school my teacher for ethics class (bc in germany religion as a subject had been mandatory. But bc not everyone was christian there had been this special class called ethics were every non christian had to be in) said that it was time to talk about world religions. So why not talk about Islam and Judaism at the same time (bc to him there had been as good as no differences between both religions. It was only later that I realised that said teacher had been not only racist but also very antisemitic, but until then he had managed to hide it rather good). And suddenly it started, from one second to the next. I hadn't said anything but all of my muslim classmates except for two of them turned towards me and started to scream at me. It was horrifiyng. Until than I had only had to deal with right wing antisemitism but never from amy muslims but they were screaming at me, insulting me. Kids my age that five minutes before that had talked to me completly normal. I was totally frightened, as they were all so aggressiv and didn't stop. Especially one male student was horrible. The teacher hadn't done anything - he sat in his chair, looked at us and actually smiled. And all my non muslim friends in this class simply sat there quietly. Not shocked or scared - most of them even looked bored. 5 minutes before that I had believed to be in a safe space surrounded be friends - only to be alone and scared like never before. But what stayed most prominent out of all of it until today was the following: they were screaming that all jews are murderers. Including me, a 14 year old, that all of them knew for years. When asked why, they said simply bc the Isreali government killed people, all israeli politicians were jews and because of that all jews had to be murderes. That argument is of course absolute bullshit and makes no sense at all. But it was clear that this way of thinking had been teached all of them. How else would a bunch of teenagers get those thoughts? Of course they must have heard it somewhere. And they believed it with their whole being. No counter argument, no question asked, nothing could make them change their minds. They truly believed that to be the truth. And that was what scared me the most. Because they were already so aggressiv about it, screaming it unprompted, filled with hatred. I cried for the rest of that day. I was scared shitless of every single one of those screaming classmates. Years later at another school I met one of them again. I was still afraid of him, especially since afterwards I had informed myself more of the antisemitic as well as the political situation there and started to understand just how deep and wide spread that hatred was. And of course i tried to stay away from him until he asked me why I didn't like him. And guess what - he didn't remember it. Something that traumatised me to my bones had been an ordinary Tuesday for him.

You can critisize Israel all you want, because yeah, the government made mistakes. But they are not all evil. If you serioulsy believe that no Israeli is innocent (incl the children) and are even happy about what is happening there, than you are an antisemitic piece of shit and a horrible person.

[wyverber]

Idk if this is apart of your hc but Toby and Tim Fatherly Bonding?

Interesting. It wasn't now it is.

Fatherly Bonding with Tim and Toby

Tim never had a Father figure (Orphan) but he is the Father friend in the Group.

(Ngl he would throw fists with Toby's dad if he was still alive)

So just imagine Toby being 17 at the time when Slender picked him up, awkward with conversation because he never really went to school and when he did he didn't have friends 😔. He doesn't even have smt to talk about, absolutely no hobbies at the time. Just a lonely Teenage boy. Even tho Slender did everything in his power to reduce the Mentally ill part of his mind he just doesn't know how to talk with people.

That's when Tim comes in. He knows how to interact with people like Toby, he was always the kid in the Orphanage who welcomed every new and scared kid and took care of 'em

The first thing he does his introduce himself to Toby, after Toby just stammered his name out he understood that he can't really just throw him in a Conversation.

(Toby was really social awkward)

So, acts of service is the go to for now, Tim is just making small things really!

Toby gets out of bed to work or to what ever that is he's doing? Tim makes his bed:)

Toby didn't eat in the last 5 hours? He makes him food and brings him a Glass of water every now and then.

Toby just said a quick and almost unnoticed 'thankyou' nothing more nothing less. Well that's not true, when he did something wrong or broke something he apologized like there was no tomorrow. Thinking he would get in trouble and that just broke Tim's heart.

The first time Toby spoke more than that was when Tim brought him some sliced up Apples for a snack BC dinner would take longer than expected.

"I don't like the skin from the apple" Toby said quietly. "Could you repeat that?" Tim said softly, the Boy looked at him like he was scared he angered the much older male, not sure if he should repeat that or not. "You don't like the skin?" Tim asked not sure if he got that right, the boy nicked and said "My Mother always tells me that's the healthiest part of the apple but I hate it" he stopped thinking if he should talk more or to stay quiet. "Okay, I'm right back!" Was heard before the older male grabbed the plate and got into the kitchen quickly peeling the apple slices.

From that day on two things happens the first would be Toby talking more and the second thing would be Tim finding out Toby is a really picky eater.

The first few conversations where just about food or rather food Toby hates or just doesn't like.

Tim loves to cook, he can relax while doing it and bond with Toby... So that's what their doing now. Cooking together. Brian always comments about Toby's (like U would say in German) extra sausage type of personality. Tim doesn't care about what he's eating and if it makes an Traumatised teenager happy to eat food he likes than who would he be to say no? Exactly an Asshole.

After a time Tim is not only Toby's friend and 'therapist' but also like a father, you have to know that Toby isn't a shy person he LOVES Talking, he likes cooking drawing and Beyonce! Tim can't explain how happy he is for Toby that he can be himself and that all thanks to sliced apples XD

Well that was if for now if you want more if Fatherly Bonding or something else please feel free to Request! I don't have Rules yet? So you can use that until I close this spicy Request thingy :*

[aevyk-ing]

Rambling about the Ghibli movies I’ve seen Part 2

Read part 1 here.

11. Tales of Earthsea

This one was... weird? Just boring? I really liked the designs for the mosaics and the city, but the rest needed a lot of work. I was intrigued about the main character and found myself thinking how the books are probably better. I had some problems with the character designs and the story was all over the place. 

12. Only Yesterday

A little too long, dragging in the middle, but really cute. I loved the way it depicted the country life, the softness of the scenes in the past and the fantasy bits. I also have the feeling I should live somewhere else since I was little (I love nature and forests) and I’ve been remembering a lot of stuff (well, that’s a side effect of going to therapy, I guess). Anyway, I enjoyed the little story and the way some moments were animated and I wasn’t expecting to hear castanets in a Ghibli movie. 

13. Porco Rosso

Em... this one was pretty, but the story was weird. The scenery, music and flight scenes are really good. I was interested in the transformation part, but then it started saying things like: “Sorry only women are going to build the plane.” and then making a 17 years-old fell in love with a 36 years-old. Yikes. Just yikes. Then the ending is rushed. Started out good, ended up... meh.

14. When Marnie Was There

I really liked this one. The story got me hooked, I related a lot to the main character and everything was so beautiful (just look at that house!). It can be a little confusing sometimes, especially during the middle part, but once it starts explaining things... oh, boy. My only complain is that I only knew it was the story about two girls and, once Anna started blushing I started shipping them... SPOILER it didn’t end up well. 

15. The Wind Rises

So beautiful... and also sad. Miyazaki sure loves aeroplanes and that sort of stuff, huh? But I can’t complain: his flying sequences are always amazing. I also really liked the cinematography in this one, there’s a lot of interesting angles and uses of animation. It can also be funny sometimes (I still think that German guy ate a decorative plant) and I’m glad it didn’t dwell too much in the sad parts, even though I would have liked to see a little more after Nahoko leaves and before the dream sequence. Talking about dream sequences, that’s yet another thing Miyazaki excels at. BTW, I was ready for the sad ending, but still got me. 

16. The Cat Returns

Utterly bizarre at the beginning, took an interesting turn midway where it reminded me of morning cartoons. It’s a cute story, although I’d have preferred something a little deeper or more nuanced. But it’s nice. Not the best one but fine enough for spending some free time. And yes, I’m well aware this one was made for small kids (maybe it’s the only one so far). Also, didn’t like how they teased out that Haru and the Baron are in a relationship. I still ship him with the other cat statue from A Whisper of the Heart, thank you.

17. Grave of the Fireflies

There are some movies you can just watch once... but even though, you’re glad you watched them. This movie was a ride and I was getting ready mentally to watch it, thinking that I could never find the perfect moment. However, something happened that hurt my soul so I was at the right place. It was painful, with exquisite music, but it hurt a lot. Just like Life is Beautiful... I won’t be rewatching soon... but I’ll thank it for what it is.

18. The Boy and the Heron

Proof that we still need fairytales! Have to say it was strange to go from the last movie to the beginning of this one because SPOILERS, I immediately knew what was going on. I loved the take on trauma and mixing past and present in a fantasy world that also looked an awful lot like a limbo (thanks, Over the Garden Wall). Overall, while it reminded me of other stories, it had enough heart and stuff going on to keep you hooked. You can tell it’s the result of a lifetime telling stories and my only complain is the creepiness. It was the least thing I liked from Chihiro and while I get why it has to be done, it doesn’t make it less disturbing. 

19. Tale of Princess Kaguya

(disgruntled noises) I loved the first part. Cute animation, interesting style and adorable characters. I was having such a great time. Cut to the palace bit and the escape after the party and the story starts dragging on and totally changes genres. It went from fluffy and uplifting to depressing and sad. Why? Just why? If I had seen this movie when I was a kid, I would have never wanted to watch it again. Sigh. 

[sissa-arrows]

When you say the new generation putting aside the French language, do you mean Algerians no longer speaking French? I'm American and I wonder if Metropolitan French being exposed to German and English media forces them to change too.

First of all some context to my answer. My family in Algeria is from a super rural area. There’s legit 4 houses that’s it. It does color their view of the French language and because I live in France my knowledge and view of French in Algeria is influenced by their view and knowledge of it.

French had a huge place in Algeria. But we chose to never be part of the international organization of la francophonie cause French is not a choice we made it was imposed to us. Everyone speak Arabic but French was seen as the language of the “elite” so kids would study French early and in college the teaching was done exclusively/almost exclusively in French for stuff like economy, administrations… in rural areas it’s also seen as the language of the bourgeoisie. If you ask me or my cousin to describe a snobby woman from a big city she will 100% speak French. Knowing how to speak French doesn’t make that imaginary woman snobby it’s the way she insists on only speaking French even if you speak Arabic with her.

Now the younger generation started slowly putting French aside and replacing it with English because that’s the actual international language. Then last year the Algerian government announced that English would be introduced in primary schools to eventually replace French. Learning French would still be an option but just like Spanish or German or Italian. French would lose its privileged position.

It doesn’t necessarily comes from a place of rejection of everything related to France it’s more from a place of what will actually be useful to develop the country.

For German and English medias influence on France honestly I don’t see any difference for German medias. For British English medias they are mostly used to comfort French people in their racism. American English medias on the other hand do help us bring attention to what’s happening in France. For example, Kimberly Latrice Jones’ “how can we win video” was used to explain to white leftists why kids and young people were breaking everything during the protests. White leftist in France will listen to Black Americans before listening to us Black and North Africans people in France. And while the situation in the US is bad the denial in France is just so much worst. I saw French people supporting Black Americans calling out the police violence in the US and then when we ask them for support here in France they be like “it’s not the same in France it’s not about race you guys are thugs that’s why the police has to do that” best case scenario they deny the race aspect and make it about socio economic classes without questioning or even acknowledging why North Africans and Black people are over represented in the lowest socio economic classes. So the right American medias used the right way help us more than German or British medias do.

Anyway if something wasn’t clear let me know. You can also send a DM or an other ask if you prefer.

[chernobog13]

A CAUTIONARY TALE

Since the exodus from Twitter began awhile ago I have received unsolicited chat messages from people with new blogs here on Tumblr.  Generally the messages come right after the person has started following me.

Invariably, these blogs claim that the owner is a woman, usually in the military, and has a few varied pictures, but never more than a dozen or so.  Typically there are pictures of dogs and/or cats, and pictures of whatever activity the person says they’re into.  Sometimes the blog states the person is looking for “friends.”

The messages always start with just a one word greeting, “hi” or “hello,” or something to that affect.

Trying to be polite, and trying to curb my natural instinct to distrust everyone, I will reply.  The conversation then goes the course of “how are you doing/how is your day?”, then “what do you do?” and “why are you on Tumblr?”

The next step is the person wants  a picture of you, and are very insistent when you decline to share.

Usually for me, the conversation ends when I politely but firmly decline to send a photo.  Almost immediately that the person is no longer following me, and the blog has disappeared from Tumblr.

A couple of days ago I received a message from a new follower.  I decided to play along this time to see how far the person on the other end would go.

We chatted a bit on Tumblr, but soon the other person said it was easier for them to use Google Chat.  After they sent their contact info we switched over there.  I noticed later that the person was no longer following me, and that their blog was gone from Tumblr.

I was bored and looking for a distraction, so I continued chatting on Google.  Soon came the first unsolicited photo of an attractive woman.  However, I immediately noticed that the setting she was in had a heavy Southwestern design motif, even though she said she lived in Georgetown in Washington DC.  Well, maybe it’s not a red flag; it might be that she likes that stuff.  She later stated that she had been stationed in Austin, Texas, so that might explain it.

Another thing I noticed was that, even though she stated that she was an officer in the US military, that her English wasn’t great; some very odd phrasing here and there.  She said that she was born and raised in Germany, but I spent a few years in Germany and spoke to plenty of Germans who had English as a second language.  Her phrasing didn’t seem like theirs, which also made me suspicious.

One other detail I picked up on is that she seemed to be in more than one conversation on Chat.  She seemed to forget what I had just written, or would respond like we hadn’t just been chatting for the last five minutes.  I realize that by itself this might not be so alarming; I listen to my sister-in-law (she has a home office) engage in multiple conversation online and on the phone all the time.

As the chat continued she quickly went into super-flattery mode (I ended up sending her a terrible picture of me - not that there’s any other kind - to see what would happen).  She also started using all sorts of heart and kissy face emojis.

Believe you me, folks, I am under no illusion as to my appearance (which is part of the reason I don’t share - or even have - any pictures of myself).  I have been told I look like Brendan Gleeson’s older, uglier brother, and the person who told me that was being charitable.  And I’m not kidding when I say my appearance has made children, animals, and women scream in terror.

So if somebody, especially a woman, starts telling me how good looking I am my suspicions are immediate raised.  Either the person is lying, or mentally unbalanced, or both.

Anyhoo, the person soon made the conversation sexual, although not in a raunchy, Letters to Penthouse sort of way.  They kept that up, and increased the amount and frequency of the heart and kissy face emojis.  Told me what they were looking for in a relationship and partner, and then started addressing me as “my king,” “my love,” “my dearest one!”  Laying it on thick.

Then came another photo.  Same woman, but this time she was outside on a patio.  The building was adobe style, the type seen all over the Southwest, with cactus plants in the background, and she was in a light shirt.  Except, I truly doubt there is a building like that in Georgetown.  And even if there is, the weather in DC yesterday was cloudy and in the low 40s.  More suspicions raised.

Later she (if it really was a woman) revealed that she did not know who Uncle Sam was.  I’m sorry, but there is no way you can be in the military (at least ten years, according to her) and not know Uncle Sam.

Still, I let it continue, despite the suspicions and alarm bells going off in my head.  Like I said, I was bored, and this was, at the least, entertaining.

Then this morning the kicker finally came.  She stated that she was sad that her subscription to Apple music had expired.  And, and by the way, could I send her an Apple gift card so she could renew her subscription?

Bye!  Thanks for playing!  

I’m actually surprised they waited that long, but I guess they wanted to string me along to get the hook in me good.

Needless to say, that was the end of that.  I feel sorry for whoever the poor lady is whose photos were hijacked by the scammers. 

Anyway, just a lengthy tale of caution, folks.  Beware of this stuff.  If it sounds or seems too good to be true, that’s because it is.

Man, I ‘m hoping now that Muskrat is letting Tangerine 45 and the rest of the miscreants back on Twitter that these scammers will follow suit.

[alpaca-clouds]

Taking Care of Children vs American Individualism

Okay, I will tell you something: I was shocked to find that in the USA it is at times illegal to leave kids younger than 14 years old alone at home or have them go out to a playground on their own. And I, as a German, had to take a double take there.

Over here, in Germany, it is fairly common that kids in the last year of kindergarten (so at the ages of 5 to 6) go to kindergarten on their own as long as it is geographically feasable. That is, if the kindergarten is reachable for a child that age. It is even more common for kids in primary school to go to school on their own.

When I was 6 years old, I would just easily go out to the nearest playground on my own. Just as other kids did. We were out there, on our own, playing. And it was normal. So, imagining a place where this is not normal... seems weird to me. Like, even now, I will see kids playing on the nearest playground on their own without any adult supervision. Because... well, it is safe, right?

Throughout my whole school life I was brought to school only rarely. Most kids were not brought to school, if their parents did not happen to work there. Which meant an hour of bus drive for me.

But of course... we were never quite completely unattended, right? Because there were adults in the houses around. And the common, nonverbal understanding that those adults would be at least somewhat aware what was happening.

So, when I was 7 and biking to the playground and fell, there was an adult with me within a minute of me crying, making sure I got home save.

And I... Honestly, I do not get why in America this seems to be a big issue. Partly I get it, of course. Partly letting kids outside in the car centric infrastructure of the USA is dangerous. Sure. But that does not explain all the other stuff about leaving kids unattended.

Is that all about American individualism? With everyone just looking out for themselves?

Or is it somehow just connected with finding further ways of making it illegal to be poor? Because it does not matter if you legally are not allowed to leave your kids alone. If you are working two jobs you do not have a choice, do you?

I just... I heard about this in a Youtube video recently and I was just like: "This is so fucking weird."

[megacarapa]

new needlepoint - i want to live here so fucking bad

this is wiehler needlepoint 2317 "es klappert die mühle am rauschenden bach" (the mill rattles by the rushing brook), which i actually just now learned is named after a german children's song - its pretty cute!

i was gonna put the process pics at the end of the rant but then the rant ended up too long so here they are at the beginning, i also added the dates each picture was taken =)

this is my first wiehler needlepoint out of 5 i got from the mentors at the embroidery workshop (originally 4 but i got another one just this week), FOR FREE, which is crazy to think about since the kits for these things arent that cheap to buy, but they gave them to me bc they were just sitting around with no one planning to actually make them

needlepoint used to be more popular over here back in ye olden days and it even used to be taught in home ec class, so both my grandmas, mom and even DAD used to make them in school, which i never knew about bc by the time i was going to school home ec classes were long gone from the curriculum, which sucks because it would have been awesome to learn stuff like this as a kid

out of the 5 kits i got, this was the smallest so i decided to do it first, the rest of them get progressively bigger and bigger until the last one which is kind of mind bogglingly huge, will i really be able to finish all of these? im honestly not sure, but i dont mind the idea of having something to work on that could take me my whole life (or like, 5 years)

these needlepoints are also different from the ones ive done up til now cause instead of the picture being printed onto the cloth, here you get an empty cloth with only counting squares printed on it and you need to follow the pattern from a paper, which i already got practice for by working on that llama cross stitch and got used to with no problem

there was one thing though, this is the only kit out of the 5 that didnt actually have the standard cloth with the squares on it (there was also some string missing, so i think the thing is that someone else had already made this kit before and what i got was the leftovers), bc of that i simply bought some new needlepoint cloth and drew the squares on myself, which led to....

honey i shrunk the needlepoint, SO YOU SEE THE THING IS, i didnt check what the squares on the cloth i did get for the other kits actually looked like, i simply assumed the squares would be normal 10x10 squares like in the picture, so thats what i drew by hand, but theyre actually supposed to be 20x20, and youre supposed to do a specific stitch called gobelin stitch where 2x2 of space is considered 1 stitch, idk if im explaining any of this well but basically if i had known this and done it correctly the finished work would have been pretty much the same size as the pattern on the picture

i know all of this now and the next needlepoint ive started since then will be the correct size, but either way i think the tiny one has its own charm and looks great anyway, its adorable!! im kind of obsessed with it, the green frame also looks great and ahh i just love it sm😭

heres the back

and size comparison with my previous ones

its a little bebe needlepoint🥺

it keeps happening that at the very end when these have finally been framed, i always notice one or two squares which i forgot to fill in, but i dont really mind it, and its fun asking people to try and find them🤣 (but dont bother trying to find them yourself bc they cant really be seen in these pictures)

i also accidentally swapped the two shades of green for the tree but the shades are so similar you literally cant see it, and i also ran out of the darkest blue shade and had to buy a new one, but couldnt find one that was similar enough, so you can actually see on most of the pics that the dark blue part to the left of the tree is a darker shade than on the right, but again, who cares, i just like jotting down as much of the process as i can remember in these posts🤣

thanks for reading!!

[dudefrommywesterns]

now that it's pretty late and less people are on here:

as we all know (if you've been here a minute), i prefer the 1971 adaptation of charlie and the chocolate factory to the 2005 one.

there are so many reasons for this i could write an essay. today, I'd like to focus on the characters themselves.

starting with charlie bucket, there isn't anything wrong with freddie highmore's portrayal. however, peter ostrum plays a charlie that connects better with the audience. he tends to make the audience want him to find a golden ticket, to win the prize. he comes off as a sweet kid who cares deeply for his family. he just wants something good to happen for himself and his family. i also think he and jack albertson (grandpa joe) do a grandfather-grandson in a very fun and believe way.

willy wonka: roald dahl wanted a brit for wonka. neither adaptation has that. I've never felt it was that big of a deal.

gene wilder's wonka is unnerving. however, he does it in a way that makes you question it, that makes the other characters question it. he seems outwardly to be fairly normal, if a bit eccentric. when he's really weird, it's a bit of a surprise. i will say, he's definitely a bit too sweet at the end perhaps.

depp's wonka is just weird. it's a wonder everyone didn't leave the minute they saw him. he talks like someone you should avoid like the plague. he doesn't lure anyone into a false sense of security at all. he might as well have a sign. also, his voice is uncomfortable to listen to and the dentist dad subplot is both really strange and really absurd. also, i think that there being a debate on whether charlie could take his family with him is equally strange and absurd. he's a kid. hello???

grandpa joe: i feel jack albertson does him better if only because he seems more grandfatherly to me. also, he does well with ostrum's charlie. 2005's grandpa joe is a bit forgettable. also, "I've got a golden ticket" is a lovely song and it has a slightly goofy but enjoyable scene to accompany it.

veruca salt: again, there's nothing wrong with 2005 here, as far as i can remember. however, i appreciate 1971 because while veruca is definitely bratty, she's somewhat good at faking a "sweet little girl" persona, which is highlighted in "i want it now." she loses her cool (because she is a kid) but is pretty quickly able to regain it. it explains why the salts act the way they do with her, in addition to being too spineless to discipline her. fave thing about 2005 though, the way that girl says "squirrel." I'll never forget that.

mr. salt: wh. why is 2005's like that? i don't like him. 1971's salt is at least a bit funny. "what business are you in, salt?" "nuts" is iconic. i only mentioned this parent because this one bugs me.

violet beauregarde: both are perfectly fine. i kinda dig 2005's peak 00s tracksuit. i will say, i think 1971's blueberry is better. it's more of a blueberry and less of a gigantic blue orange like 2005's. also i like practical effects.

augustus gloop: this character is a mess in general. however, i have some bones to pick with 2005 here. firstly, the fake red hair is ghastly. secondly, how come 1971 could get a real fat german kid and you couldn't? thirdly, what in the fuck is that intro scene? where are the gloops living? why does it look rat invested? jesus. i feel like he's more offensive. honestly 2005 is more offensive point blank.

mike teavee: so. this one's up to personal preference. both are good at what was being aimed for.

1971's mike is actually somewhat likable imo. he's not horrible. he's just a bit rambunctious and watches too much tv. he's very much a typical 11 year old boy. he should heed his mother but also, it's completely understandable that he'd see this cool contraption that could send people by television and want to use it. he's 11.

2005's is a very video game loving, destined to live and die in his mother's basement, calls you slurs on xbox live, little cunt. i would punt him into the sun. his vice isn't just that he watches to much tv, he's also a bigot and I'm upset because i had to hear the r slur while relooking these characters up. you know, this is the only 2000s media i ever heard that slur in. congrats burton, you've made a character that deserves the taffy puller.

oompa loompas: these characters are bad from the get go and I'm not the right person to speak on the race portion of it. the book is racist. whether this was better adapted by the 1971 one or 2005 one, if either, i have no right to say. as far as i can tell, 2005 leans more into the white savior narrative than 1971. feel free to weigh in on this portion if you'd like.

however, i think that it was better to have more than one person play the oompa loompas. 2005's one guy copypasted looks incredibly odd and takes away from the quality of the songs. it also takes away from the diversity that the 1971 oompa loompas have in height and body type and facial features. also, having more real people will always look better than editing one guy to be multiple guys.

[catsvrsdogscatswin]

Hellsing Commentary 5 Notes

This commentary is done by Taliesin Jaffe, the voice director and lead script adapter of Hellsing, and Gildart Jackson, the voice of the Major (Montana Max). Direct quotes may vary in accuracy, as these are written down from audio without transcripts. I also didn't write down every joke or piece of trivia because I feel like people who watch the commentaries should get to have some nice surprises for stuff that isn't covered here.

-All the non-Bruce Willis characters in Alucard's dream/hallucination are from Frederick Forsyth novels and/or films. When Gildart asks why in regard to the whole dream sequence, Taliesin laughs in despair and then eventually says it might be "because Alucard's subconscious is trying to tell him that Walter, who gave him the Jackal gun, uh, is going to betray him. That is the, uh, metaphor his brain comes up with...Seras's guns are called the Harkonen canons, so Emperor Harkonen from Dune comes out and is the voice of her gun, that sort of gives her advice, and so Bruce Willis comes out and gives him advice as the Jackal, until the real Jackal appears and says 'No, this Jackal was given to you by a traitor, don't trust Walter.'"

-Gildart was literally the very first person the audience heard in Hellsing, as he played the unnamed man who was nearly eaten by a "vampire hooker" in the first episode of the TV series. This role was also the first voiceover work that Gildart ever did.

-Gildart is continuously bemused by the conventions of anime on display. "And, and the...drawings? All this sort of stylized, like -why are his eyes sometimes like that?" (Referring to the Major's shining glasses.) Taliesin then explains to him the conventions of bunraku theater, wherein the eyes are supposed to be windows of emotions to the character, which carried over to anime in the sense that sometimes eyes are shaded or glasses shine opaque, which means that a character "has become inscrutable or that they're lying to you, o-or acting against their nature."

-Zorin was the only major character whose VA had to be replaced, as her original VA from OVA 4 moved back to London.

-Taliesin tells Gildart that he has a very unique delivery and he loves writing for him. "Whatever I'm imagining for you, you never do, and its just better. Whatever I think is gonna happen, its always more interesting when we finally get in here."

-Gildart built the Major's German accent from his childhood, when he and other kids would imitate the "We have ways of making you talk." or "I want to see your papers and identification." lines to each other.

-Taliesin has heard people compare the Major to the scarred Nazi from Raiders of the Lost Arc, although in his opinion "I like the Major more." He also comments on how the Major is "this jolly mass-murderer," and that his comedy is the key to his horror. "Just...he is horrific. Like, I think he is genuinely scary. And you've got this great laugh -it's been commented on a few times, too- where its just this- i-it never quite manages to build, it just gets caught in him, becomes a choke almost."

-What sold Taliesin on hiring Gildart in the first place was one of the roles in his theatrical reel, wherein Gildart played a Nazi officer. "As soon as we get Montana Max in here, he's in." He has also stated that Gildart has been his ideal person for the Major "since day one."

-Taliesin notes that Walter has black gloves whenever he's killing people and white gloves whenever he's "servicing."

-As of recording the commentary for OVA 5, Gildart has only briefly met Crispin out of the rest of the cast, and does not do much in voice acting for anime or games.

-Taliesin mentions how in OVA 5 the prior generation of Sir Islands and Integra's father and Penwood are sort've "all going down in flames" as Integra steps forward as the next generation of vampire-hunters.

-"So how many people will watch this?" Gildart asks of the show. Taliesin laughs and then says that he gets credit for watching Hellsing at comic con and that people who don't watch anime watch Hellsing.

-As for how the Major came to be recruited/a part of the SS, Taliesin comments that "There was a time, not too long ago, where we used to know where to put sociopaths, where they could contribute to society, as opposed to harming it. And I think that he was just one of those fabulously talented people who had, you know, little morals and some persuasion, to quote another pop-culture travesty. Uh, and I'd like to that that's the sort of thing the Nazis would recognize."

-According to Taliesin, the difference between vampires and ghouls is "Vampires are sentient. They can speak, and their power set is a little different. The ghouls are literally just drained humans. Like, if you drain a human being of all their blood and just kind of...let them languish, they eventually will just sort of rise up, unless you destroy the head."

-Taliesin also states that in Hellsing, a vampire has to feed a victim their blood in order to turn them into another vampire. "You drain them, and then you replace, and then you get a vampire." He says he came upon this rule by reading/watching Hellsing over and over and over again while adapting the series.

-In regard to the show, Taliesin has done his best to "-sorta -and I know a couple of people that will kill me for this- to rob it of its cultural identity as much as humanly possible, uh: to rob it of its- to really make it feel un-Japanese as much as possible, to sort've strip a lot of the Japanese-ification of it away and make it- in a perfect world I imagine this being produced by, like, the Hammer film animation department. That's what we shoot for: brought to you by Hammer."

-Taliesin tries to get dialogue to connect, so when Integra gives her speech to the Millennium vampires, he had to make sure that everything the Nazis said she had to repeat/refute.

-Taliesin gleefully comments about how Anderson will have character development "-in the next four volumes. He goes from this really insane villain, to- by the time we get to volume eight, he's kinda made a 180 degree turn and sort of...really come down to earth and stopped raving and being a lunatic."

-Heinkel and Yumie were difficult to cast. Heinkel went German "because that just makes sense for her," and while Yumie is Japanese, Taliesin decided "We went on the Doctor Who philosophy, which is anyone who's from a country whose accent you don't understand is Welsh."

-Taliesin has somewhat disturbed his roommate because "I sit in my living room quietly mumbling to myself 'embrace the heretical order' 'dare presume to meet my gaze' -I can't actually do the Scottish accent but I can kinda get the cadences, so (bad accent) 'attempting the cadence to make sure it fits flap.'"

-"Are there other shows that are big like Hellsing in Japan?" Gildart asks.