#had to make this twice bc the first time the quality was SHIT

[philsbrownquiff]

I have once again made a graph regarding my thoughts

[sc0tters]

One Night | Gabe Perrault

summary: when things get said during spring break, you realise gabe doesn’t hate you all as much as he makes it seem.

trope: one bed

warnings: mentions of underage drinking.

word count: 2.27k

authors note: can we truly believe that this is the first time I’ve used this trope? Like seriously it’s shocking, I'm on the fence on if I liked this or not but still here is our second update of the week and another to add to the BC boys and the 500 follower celly (that I hope to finish soon...)! But beyond that we all love a bit of a rom-com-inspired prompt, don't ask me which one but I know I've seen this on tv before.

You thought that you were the unluckiest woman in the world.

Gabe was for lack of a better phrase your perfect type of guy. Every quality you wanted he had, but the one that he lacked that was by far the most important was the one he needed; Gabe hated you. It shocked everyone, you were nice and this cheerful ball of a joy on the media team. Every interaction you two had was engraved in your brain and none of them had you him being nice to you.

It was stupid how you felt the need to hide your feelings by masking things up with hatred and backhanded comments. Because as much as you didn’t want to admit that you were enamored by him. Each time a guy would make a move on you, they were always turned down because you only wanted him.

But those wants only became stronger as you both ended up in the same group that headed down to Florida for spring break “what the fuck!” You both groaned jumping out of your seats as you learnt that you’d be sharing a room together “we’re sorry but you’re the only two who are single.” Ryan shrugged as each of the boys wrapped their arms around their girlfriends.

Gabe scrunched his face in disgust “I’ll sleep on the couch.” He announced after remembering that it was a double bed in the blue room that you two were in “don’t act like you’re doing me a favor here.” You scoffed as you shook your head “I’ll sleep out here.” You added as you raked your fingers through your hair.

As you both glared at each other Julianne couldn’t help but clap her hands together “surely you guys could just put your shit aside for one day?” She groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose “I have nothing against him!” You rolled your eyes as you pushed past the boy “you sure about that?” Gabe’s question was only met with him being hit with a pillow.

The first night was the most awkward as you were in the middle of your nighttime routine when Gabe walked into the bathroom “I’ll take the floor.” His voice was soft as you rubbed cream into your neck “no.” You sighed as you shook your head.

He clutched his pillow as he furrowed his eyebrows “I’m not letting you take the floor-” Gabe’s words were quickly shut down as you glared at him “I was going to offer half of the bed.” You corrected him as you crossed your arms letting out an unamused scoff.

It made him roll his eyes “shouldn’t even be surprised.” The hockey player threw his pillow back onto the bed “you stay on your side and I’ll stay on mine.” He snapped as blankets were thrown between you both to create what only be the Great Wall of blankets “don’t have to tell me twice.” You grumbled as you hit your pillow trying to fluff it up.

The air was tense as you both climbed into bed refusing to acknowledge the other person as you each faced the wall “you don’t snore right?” Gabe as a kick hit his calf “ow!” He groaned as you had broken the wall between you both like it was nothing “the only thing you have to worry about is me trying to not kill you!” You grumbled as you rolled your eyes nuzzling your head into your pillow as you sighed.

As you stared up at the wall you couldn’t help but hate the fact that deep down you still knew you had some kind of feelings for him.

Ryan and Will couldn’t help but sneak into the room as the sun hung below the clouds and by ten a.m there wasn’t a peep that came from the room at the end of the hall. Their curiosities got the best of them as the boys had all made their bets for what had happened with most believing that one of you were dead “oh damn.” Cutter grumbled as he was met with the site of Gabe’s arm wrapped around your waist as you were both asleep on his side of the bed.

But Jacob was quick to hit his head “we’re home!” The girls called out as they had been shopping “lets go.” The goalie grumbled as he motioned how you began to stir. The sun hit the floor as your eyes blink almost having you jump in surprise as the door slammed shut “Jesus!” You yelled being faced with the sight of a sleeping Gabe.

It didn’t last long though as he groaned “could you not?” He pleaded snuggling back into your side “Gabe get off me!” You complained as you attempted to pull him off of you.

Gabe’s eyes shot open as he realised that it was you who he was with “why the hell are you on my side?” He scoffed sending you a glare “why is your arm wrapped around me!” You shot back as you pushed your hand against his chest as you motioned to your waist.

The way his hand left your waist would have made you laugh usually but instead you found yourself rolling your eyes as you got up “I need a shower.” You announced grabbing your towel from the rack beside your bed “why do you get to go first?” He scoffed making you tense up.

There was a moment that you both stared at each other as you glared at him before you both ran to the bathroom with you only getting there first because he had to climb off of the bed. A smirk formed on your lips as you stood to face him at the door “sorry slowpoke.” You waved your fingers at him at your dropped your towel on the door letting the door slam shut in his face.

As much as you wanted to piss him off, your shower was quick. But you should have seriously contemplated spending just a few more minutes in there. You were in the middle of styling your hair when Gabe finally walked out with his towel loosely wrapped around his waist as water dripped down his front “you like what you see?”He smirked as your cheeks went red and your mouth fell open.

Your mouth watered at the pure sight of him as the thoughts left your brain “cat got your tongue too now?” Gabe laughed as your eyes went wide “shut up.” You grumbled as you shook your head.

You got up to leave but the boy had made his way over to you “c’mon you ready to admit that I’m hot?” His hand cupped your jaw as his thumb rubbed a soothing line against your skin “I’ll say it.” You gasped as your heart thumped out of your chest as he nodded “when I’m fucking dead.” You spat as your hand raised to slap his away.

As you shut the door with the slam the group downstairs realised that they weren’t going to be able to tease you both about whatever happened in that room. Beyond not so subtle snickers from them say two came to an end with you and Gabe avoiding each other until you went to bed.

Day three was surprising for Gabe as he woke up to an empty bed, you had gone for a run on the beach and did everything within your power to avoid him. All the way until the night was about to come to an end as Cutter and Will opted to do a campfire on the beach to end the night off.

The sound of crackling wood echoed through everyone’s ears as you and Gabe had been sent to get everyone drinks “could you believe that y/n had a crush on Gabe?” You and Gabe both seemed to freeze as you heard the words “had? She still does!” Another girl laugh as you made the mental note to kill your friends “y/n?” Gabe’s voice was shaky as you gripped your the neck of your beer bottle.

Your ears pounded as you felt the sand between your toes “I should go.” You nodded to yourself quickly turning around as you ran back in the direction of the house as embarrassment ran through your mind.

Tears streamed down your face as Gabe turned to his friends “I’m so sorry.” Julianna apologised as she raised her hand to her mouth “look just take these drinks.” Gabe sighed as he placed the cooler on Will’s lap “what are you gonna do?” Cutter went to give the boy beer but he stopped him.

Gabe knew it was stupid but he couldn’t process that those words could have been true “does she really?” Truly it looked as though Gabe had been hit by a truck “please just be nice to her.” Julianna pleaded as she watched him run in the same direction that you had.

You swore you wanted to crawl into a hole and hide as you locked the door to your bedroom. Sliding down to the ground your knees quickly hit your chest “why’d you have to be a fucking idiot.” You sobbed taking your fingers through your hair. You craved some kind of soothing moment as you lay your head against the door “y/n?”

That voice made you freeze as your eyes went wide “go away Gabe!” You groaned bringing your hand to your face to wipe the snot from your nose “please I just wanna talk.” His voice was soft as he leaned against the door “just so you can reject me?” There was a hint of irritation and amusement in your tone as you laughed.

The boy shoved his hands into his pockets as he sighed “what I want to say sort of needs me to see you.” The hockey player was close to giving up when he couldn’t hear you “please.” He thought you moved away from the door.

But instead you got up and unlocked it facing the boy “can I come in?” He pleaded sending you a small smile as you stepped aside to let him in. The air felt heavy as he wiped his hands on the thighs of his shorts “you were crying?” Gabe frowned as you were quick to wipe your eyes as though it would make it impossible for him to see.

You shook your head “you said you wanted to talk?” You reminded him of what he had said “do you really like me?” This desire filled his mind as he was desperate to hear you say it “you know I do.” You rolled your eyes not being able to bring yourself to finally say it to him “just say it.” He groaned tugging at his hair.

The inside of your cheek was soft against your mouth as you chewed at the flesh “okay sure yeah I like you but could we just act like I didn’t?” You pleaded thrashing your fists as you didn’t want to hear him turn you down.

But Gabe couldn’t help it as he smiled “sure you think my feelings are funny!” You complained not noticing as he shook his head “how have you not noticed that I like you!” He groaned as he crossed his arms.

Truthfully in the time that he knew you Gabe had never seen you so quiet “you hate me!” You shot back swearing that he was lying “I wanted to after I saw you and that football player and after that it just got too far to not stay with that.”Gabe let out a huff as he sat on the bed “god I could hit you.” You mumbled sitting next to him.

Gabe smiled as he nodded “think I might as well do it too.” He watched you turn to face him “why couldn’t you have told me sooner?” You were in a way irritated that you had to watch him with so many other girls before you came into his picture “you saw the way we acted on the first day here.” You had hit him with like four bottle caps each time he’d open his mouth because he had pissed you off.

Laughter filled the room as you were both reminded of the memory “so what do we do now?” The question came as the next logical thought as you wondered what was going to happen “what do you mean?” As Gabe turned to you, you both finally saw how little space was in fact between you “do we go back to hating each other?” Your voice was barely a whisper as you prepared yourself for the worst.

Gabe felt his heart break a little at your words “wanted to take you on a date.” He explained causing a smile to form on your face “like a real one?” You laughed as he brought his hand to cup your cheek.

This time it was soft though, a stark contrast to just a few days ago when he had done it “want to give you the world pretty girl.” You giggled as you stared back at him “can I kiss you?” You blurted out not getting a chance to regret your question because the boy nodded as he kissed you.

His lips were soft as you practically melted into his touch “you better not have killed her Perreault!” Ryan’s warning made you both pull away “you were good at that.” You mumbled running your finger over your lip as you looked at him “plenty more of where that came from.” Gabe pecked your lips once more before he got up “she’s still alive I promise!”

[imkazz]

Rent?! No one ever talks about rent. Tell me rent things.

AUGHHHH RENT!!!!

i went to watch it at the stratford festival like three days ago!!!

(press for better quality)

I LOVE RENT! FROM SO MANY PERSPECTIVES! IT TALKS ABOUT THE AIDS CRISIS AND TRANS PEOPLE AND GAY PEOPLE AND DEATH AND GRIEF AND HOMELESSNESS AND SO MANY IMPORTANT TOPICS IN JUST ONE MUSICAL

keep reading if you want to see my theatre nerd side, i basically swoon over set design, backstage, lights, model choices, etc.

AS SOMEONE WHO LOVES THEATRE PRODUCTION A LOT MORE THAN ACTING, THE STAGE THEY USED TO CONVEY THIS MUSICAL HAS SO MUCH AS WELL!

LIGHTS, SOUND, PROPS AND MANAGEMENT OF SPACE WENT SO WELL AT THE FESTIVAL THEATRE!

its something called a thrust stage at the festival theatre, which is different than your usual type of stage, aka the proscenium stage. the thrust stage thrusts to the centre of the room, making it so that you can watch the play from all angles, and not specifically need to get centre, front row seats. you can see with the second photo below that even the people at the edge get an interesting perspective.

the actors and designers also have a fun time with thrust stages! you have to act with your entire body, as all pov seats can watch you, and designers have to be careful about props and use space wisely, especially since its a much smaller space than your usual, and theres no curtains meaning that scene changes have to be imaginative as well.

as you can see with the photo i took, i did in fact get centre front seats, only because a huge tour group backed out last seconds and my mom was able to snag the tickets.

(i actually watched it twice! first time at the festival was with the theatre group where i was looking at all the lights and cues and analyzing shit, but second time was bc my siblings wanted to watch it live and i could sit back and enjoy the show, looking at some things i wanted to rewatch that other campers had talked about that i missed (the first photo i took of the stage is from camp, on the balcony, while the second is the most recent and from in front of the stage))

from theatre camp, i also got the absolute privlage to get a tour of the festival theatre, and watch a changeover. since the festival theatre goes through multiple plays a day (richard III for a matinee, rent as a night show just as an example) they change the entire set.

i dont care about shakespeare, so were here to talk about the changeover to rent. they expanded the stage and made it much denser material, since people will be dancing on it, and changed the sudden drop to stairs, so the actors wouldnt trip on stage or while dancing. they also added that small platform to the centre of the stage, and did so much with it!

at first, that small platform was used as mark and rogers apartment, and there were metaphorical walls that everyone could see. even though collins was standing RIGHT NEXT TO THEM, he wasnt on the platform and was looking upwards, while mark was looking downwards, signalling they were on different floors.

for the 'la vie boheme' dance scene, they used it as a huge table to seat all the people around it, on the ground. they simly laid a cloth on the edges to make it a table, and the audience could take it as a table.

there was also a trapdoor in the centre of that thing, so for one musical number involving rogers and mimi, they were brought up, being the centre of attention while everyone else danced around them. it also became a small table for one scene.

the next thing the trapdoor did. it went down under the stage, where angel would climb onto it, and 'today 4 u' song, she rose out onto the stage in a puff of smoke and a badass christmas fit!!! so cool!

trapdoor was then used as a makeshift bed for angel, where collins helped her lie as she died of aids. they covered her with a huge cloth, which each of the group threw in and yelled 'im done!' and walked away, leaving collins still clutching it with angel underneath, the trapdoor going inwards as her grave.

let me tell you. they transitioned so well. the trapdoor went back into the trap room, where collins would also let go of the cloth and got it to sink into the hole. id assume the actor got out, the people down there would take the cloth, and while everyone on stage was doing the funeral scene, the people down there would put angels bucket with a bouquet inside and place it on the trapdoor.

theyd then let the trap back up onto stage, replacing the cloth and angel with her bucket and a bouquet in it. that made me sob the first time i saw it. holy shit.

now, away from the sad stuff and back to set design.

if you look at the photo, you can see windows in the backgrounds. they look like normal windows, until you look closer to see silhouettes in them. men and woman.

those were used A LOT to convey the scene. i cant remember the orders, but the main examples that stuck out to me:

for the 'tango maureen', the windows lit up red and you could see the people a lot better, which implies all the people shes slept with/cheated with

when they got together for the aids meeting, the windows lit up in rainbow colours to signify all the people who suffer to aids and the general lgbtq colours

when they were talking about homeless people with benny, the lights shone in different cold hues, showing all the people in tent city and how they must be freezing in the winter

'rent' the song, the windows were flashing with the song, and when the power got cut, all the lights went out except a faint blue from the lights above so the audience could still somewhat see what was happening

sound. all the cast used mics, id guess that the chorus would trade mics based on who had huge lines. before it started, you could hear general city sounds, cars, beeping, general business that you would get from new york that i found a bit cool. i think you can tell im not that passionate about sound.

alright, what else? costumes. costumes, costumes. I LOVED ANGELS FITS. HOLY FUCK, HER NEW YEARS EVE DRESS WAS SORTA TRANSPARENT BUT HAD A RAINBOW SHIMMER TO IT?! I LOVED IT SO MUCHHHHH AAAAAAAAA other than that i have little to no things about costumes... they were all wearing basic fits that were usual for the 80's, all sorts of hip-hop, t-shirts, jeans, your usual.

found some from the web! first photo is that outfit i scream about up there, and the second is her coming out of the trapdoor for 'today 4 u'!!!

okok now actors... I MET THE GUY WHO PLAYED COLLINS FOR THIS SEASON AT THE FESTIVAL!!! or, me and my entire theatre production camp did. we all got autographs, and got to speak to him bc we waited for everyone else to leave the theatre before we could go as a group, so all the actors had the time to change out of things and stuff. it turns out that someone he knew died of aids not too long ago, so his reaction to angel's death is pretty spot-on. he was so cool! the name's Lee Siegel if you wanted to look more into that.

last thing (i think). at the end, after an amazing scene where the cloth used on angel to lower her down the trapdoor was used to present all the little clips mark got over the year they all had together, angel came out of the centre door draped in this blanket, which all the cast would lay onto the stage.

and everything would go to applause.

in all, rent is amazing! <3 especially after watching tick tick boom!

(sorry for ranting i love theatre (realised i should probably save this to talk about in drama class when school starts...))

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

2, 9, 15 for end of year asks?

okay IM DOING IT !!! ugh I’m so sorry I always answer these so late and so LONG but here I am. let’s do this…

2. favorite fic of the year

oh this is HARD I read such good fic this year it’s not fair. WAIT. are we talking a fic I’ve written or a fic I’ve read? I’m doing both to be safe. for both fandoms TWICE! here we go…

gravity falls

written? midnight’s call, of course, as well as the beginnings of its sequel. it’s just so detectable and whumpish and ‘ford wants/should be the main character here but honestly he isnt’ energy that it’s not funny. it’s also the longest wip that I’ve completed thus far (though it’s looking to be easily surpassed) AND it was my first wip ever AND one of the first fics I put on ao3 at all! so! it’s pretty special to me!! :))

as for read, god you can’t make me choose. what had me squealing the most…. it’s been a while and yet there are some that immediately come to mind. do I have to pick?? UHHHHH I’ll have to go between Another World, Another Time by jikanet_tanaka and Interproximal Gradations by callipraxia, which is the third part of the For Want Of A Jailbreak series (sorry, I really couldn’t choose mshdhsh) they both have similar vibes yet such different plots that I can’t help but group them in my head sometimes but they are ALSO some of the most high-quality heartbreaking emotionally investing fiction I’ve ingested on this mortal coil. like BRO. it’s been like six months since I’ve read both and I can still remember certain scenes and the plot and other things I loved so CLEARLY. for example: in another world, they hit ford over the head a LOT. like I can remember three individual times lmao, and two of them were by the same person! the first was entering the strange dimension in the beginning to jumpstart the plot, the second was overexertion/being wacked by a blinded ex-jheselbraum disciple after escaping an attempted to be built PORTAL ROOM in a high tech bill-esque fortress, and the third was during an unsuccessful raid for parts for a resistance the people of the dimension he and the pines have ended up by the same ex-disciple. does that make sense? possibly not! but don’t you want to read to find out? ;) /lh

good omens

written? it would’ve been do you remember hanging up the stars had it been completed by now (which is Impossible lmao) so I’m gonna have to with an angel who goes along with heaven, because 1) it’s my favorite era *medieval/wessex 537* 2) it’s heavy crowley whump 3) I wrote it over two months ago and I can still read it without wanting to die. like I see the flaws, but they are easily overlooked because CROWLEY WHUMP!!!!! I WROTE THAT!!! it’s the ultimate ‘writing what I want to read’ assortment. augh

read? well I haven’t actually gotten to the life-changing longfic on par with the gf fic. I have them marked for later, definitely, but I haven’t read anything past 30k in this fandom yet so I suspect there’s more earth shattering shit out there. atm, though, Ithink I’m going with The Ark by rfsmiley. holy fuck, where do I begin. I have a love/hate relationship with dystopia—love because we get to think about the inevitability of failure, death, and humanity degraded down to pure survival and the things that make us human are a luxury, and hate because we have to think about the inevitability of failure, death, and humanity degraded down to pure survival and the things that make us human are a luxury. it’s just so bleak yet colorful at the same time. media like tlou is triple s tier. so reading a fic like that… safe to say it broke me. they made it to the stars!!!! they cherish every orange slice! every book! they still love each other!! they knew this was gonna happen and they stuck around!!! UGH!!!!! AND THE FACT THE THING’S CALLED THE FUCKINGGGGG ARK. THE ARK. IRONY. IRONY. JAIL FOR AUTHOR RFSMILEY! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!

9. favorite creator of the year

okay back to something more soft. first off; I can’t pick. firstly bc idk if it means a fan artist or writer or professional people like filmmakers and show runners. secondly bc there are so many ! how could I pick! also I’d feel back for picking one person over another thats just my brain is wired, and for that I apologize. so moving on ! ty for asking though <3

15. favorite headcanon of the year

god how do you PICK that!!!! thinking…….. AGAIN, it’s between ‘ford is autistic’ and (i’m sorry if this small and silly) ‘aziraphale and crowley like holding hands’ (though that’s fucking canon, but I’m headcanoning it). just. they’re both so important to me. ford is me and aziraphale and crowley love each other. ugh. UGH. thanks for the ask dude, and I’m gonna go jump into a hole now ✨

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

The ghosts of penises past strikes again... twice in one month.

I finally had cut ties with M. Like deleted his contact info from EVERYWHERE so I couldn't dig it back out some time when I was feeling lonely and unattractive.

I didn't block him, because he hadn't been responding the last time I tried talking to him, and because I made a promise once to always be there for him if he needed me. He may have no sense of honor and he may never keep his word, but I'm not that person. If I PROMISE (rather than just saying I will) I fucking stick to it. I have too many broken promises and cracks in my heart from them to do otherwise.

So I'm sitting here one day chilling, working on some research, and I see the whatsapp notification on my bar. I assume it's this company that always sends me promos or a back up running. Nope, it's him.

He beats around the bush for awhile before making it clear he was looking for sex. And I said no, that he should remember my stance on casual meaningless sex. He suggested an ongoing thing getting to know each other. When I asked why he reached out to me when he could find someone easily to cheat on his gf with he gave me some bullshit. Then said how he didn't want to get back together, it'd take a lot of long conversations before we got there and I straight up laughed. For a solid 3 minutes straight. Then went why would I want to repeat the worst mistake I ever made. Not that he meant it -- those conversations would never happen unless he needed me to feel guilty about something and he was never going to want a relationship with me. It was the equivalent of the married man leaving hints he'd leave his wife for you if things worked out. I listed all the shit he pulled and he got mad, how it reminded him of how I'd berate him and never let go of anything (a, he kept doing the sane shit and b, funny how that's the same thing he said about all his exes to me way back when) and he'd just been thinking with his dick again and should find someone easier and thanks for the reminder. So I responded even his dick should have known better than to try to hook up with me after making his disdain for me clear, abd that he absolutely should find someone else bc not only did my mind not want him but I was bone dry at the idea of him ever touching me again.

Then I think he deleted whatsapp despite needing to talk to people in Europe, because his pic and stuff went but it didn't tell me I was blocked which it usually does, I think. Fucking coward.

So we'll see how long this sticks, as it's fine for him to ignore me but he can't stand when I don't want him. Hopefully forever.

Then I get a message yesterday. A guy I went out with 3 times in January or something. Guy wanted me to accept scraps of time when his wife thought he was with friends bc she wanted a don't ask don't tell. Even I had more self respect than that. Oh and he wanted a lifestyle partner, not a life partner. Not bc he loves his wife but bc he likes his life the way it is and if he could squeeze in some kink on his terms only, so much the better. I shot that shit down and called him out for being completely manipulative and selfish, qualities he thought he'd left behind and no, still the same guy he was when some other poor woman had to call him on it and I said so. I'm not shy.

He acknowledged I'd been right, apologized, asked to be friends first, and to unblock him on fet. I said I'd agree to friends, and he proceed to pull all kinds of manipulative crap in the course of one conversation -- still saying he wanted a lifestyle partner to which I asked why I'd want that now when I already turned down that same offer from the same guy months ago. I called him out on his refusal to compromise or adjust anything in his life, because I'm worth more than his leftover crumbs. He said how not many guys would drive out to the city I'm moving to and again I laughed -- does he think that a college town is devoid of men? No, most guys from the burbs probably wouldn't drive out there which is why I'm not dating at the moment and will find one out there if I want one. Fuck, with as young as I look I could probably have my pick of frat guys. I'm like that was manipulative implying I should settle for my last chance, and it wasn't subtle or accurate. Do better if you want to con me.

I'm so not interested in men. They continually disappoint me, with one exception who sadly lives too far away for more than occasional sexting and being an exceptional friend.

The ghost can start passing me right on. I can't think of a man I've dated that I feel the urge to test drive again. Thanks but I finally figured out that chasing my mistakes won't undo them and the time I spent is a sunk cost, and trying to recoup sunk costs has never ended well for anyone.

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

29f here  hi there, I started to "officially" date my boyfriend bout a year ago. Im really happy with him. I adore him, and our relationship is amazing.  I had never been in a commited relationship before, and there is a small thing that has been bothering me lately. I m not a jealous at all, I have never been like this, yet I feel worried about him and his exgf. It all starts when we first met... when we met they werr together and we were not even friends (my bf and me) and then "they broke up" or thats what he said. We started going put as friends and then went on a trip together... we started being friends with benefits after he asured me he was no longer in a relationship with this person. Well turns out one day I was at the beach and I saw them together.he didnt even speak to me. Then he said she still lived in his house bc she was broke and unemployed and that he took her to the beach "cos she wanted to go". We were not a couple just friendswb ... so yeah I distanced myself bc I didnt want to be w someone with a gf... ok so fast forward. After a month or so he  calls me to tell me she trashed his house bc he asked her to leave. So another month ... we start dating. I decided to Just let go of that bc we were not even together. Everything is great and he is like my bestfriend. BUT this lady has messaged him twice.1st saying he saw us together at the beach he didnt answer. 2nd to tell him she was over him and that she was dating sb el se. And he answered hope u r doing well ... like this bothered me ... cos a guy that i was seeing in the past also messaged me and i was like mm yeah idc ... anything else?... bc i genuinely dont care. ...We have a fb Page of a bussines we started together.  The ex often watches stories reels and Leaves reacts here and there but doesnt follow said Page. She blocked a friend of mine bc she thinks she is the actual gf... she doesnt even Know it is me ... but like this shit is toxic. And I now DO belive what he told me about them not being together and him lettting her stay out of pity, bc he often allows ppl to take advantage of him and doesnt set boundaries. This worries me bc im scared she might try sth w him and he May accept bc of this.it also fills me w doubts about HIM having moved on from her. Idk how to approach this wo sounding crazy. I already told him about the fb thing and her blocking my friend and he just says ah yeah .but i dont know how to tell him about my concerns. Hope you could help me. I feel very anxious and like this could be a thing that could ruin the relationship and trust

Hi there. It's understandable that you feel anxious since it seems to be a messy situation. It does not seem like a healthy relationship to me :c

It seems to me that a lot of focus has been put on him and his ex but not you. Have you asked yourself what you want from the relationship and from him? Are you happy being in this relationship/ situation?

As an adult, I think your bf needs to take accountability as he continues letting things happen (even if he no longer has feelings for her). If you are not happy with how things are going, perhaps it's best to find a time when you and him are both calm to have a face-to-face convo

You may approach the conversation by stating your observations and feelings without any criticism or judgment (This link about four components to the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) model, may help). Tell him calmly how the situation (him letting his exgf take advantage of him) makes you feel uncomfortable and you would like to see if boundaries can be put up.

I can also feel that you feel insecure about this relationship as you worried that she may steal him away. Trust and honesty are important qualities of a healthy romantic relationship. Currently, it seems to me that you do not feel secure about your place in the relationship and his behaviours. Apart from talking to him regarding the situation, perhaps try putting the focus back on yourself? Engage in your hobbies, hang out with friends and family or join a new community? When you focus on yourself more, you will have less time to worry about him. You are loved regardless of his feelings for you. You are valued no matter how he treats you. <3

There is also no certain way to know if he/ she was lying. You can only do what's best for you in this situation. Please always take care of yourself first!

Love,

Sammi

[tony-andonuts]

Got home from work like an hour ago (early day yipee) butlike also today fucking sucked and im gonna go off a little

Okso first and foremost all but one person from an entire fucking department got let off for ''budget cuts'' today and not only that but us in the kitchen and ALL OF MEDICAL AS A FUCKING WHOLE recieved a budget cut. And we're already purchasing the lowest quality products overall. The department in question not only makes the workload easier on literally everyone but they get the residents out and about rather than rotting in their rooms. Its just so fucking vile and evil, and the department that they cut off is VITAL. The residents are gonna mentally deteriorate and more fights are gonna happen. The assisted living facility i work for is now a fucking PRISON. like dead fucking ass. I really fucking hope that the CNAs told the residents that love to complain because this shit is just straight up cruel and the owner of the corporation as a whole is so fucking lucky their name doesnt have to be public or else i wouldve already scheduled a flight to. Uh, you know <3

Another thing too solike. Okay this is morally inappropriate and i fully acknowledge that but i cant stop thinking abt it

So i had a dream this morning (like 8-10am) that the am aide i work with was gonna get fired, and then i also recieved bad news regarding a resident. IRL at around the same exact time i had that dream was when the department got fired *and* my am aide coworker recieved really bad news. I know i naturally have some clairvoyance butlike. FUCK I really hope it was all a coincidence and my meds were just working really well and that I dont get forebodings like that bc I know for a fact my psychosis will get the better of me if this happens even once more

Anyways i apologise for how out of touch that sounded, i genuinely am both seething for my coworkers who were dumped and saddened for my aide comrade

Butlike fucking UGH I've also been working like 4 days in a row with only one day off in between and Im fucking SHOT. I can technically work those shifts while also doing my laundry, making food, and attending therapy but I can't do much else bc its either Im getting ready to go to work, getting ready to go to bed for work in the morning, or using my one day off to clean everything that got dirty during my work days

Also the transphobia and burnt-out ableism I witness at work makes me wanna scream and break everything but i dont wanna fight with my coworkers in front of the residents so i just have to give the residents twice as much love as the malice theyre recieving like they're living in a perpetual state of good cop bad cop :)

[cassandralexxx]

L+ratio (ie ignore this unless u want to read a vent post 💀)

Idk man I wake up every day deeply unsatisfied. I feel so discomforted and disconnected in my own skin. Like I hurt; all I do is hurt. I wake up and the first thing I notice is my legs feel sore. Like first I notice my thighs and then I’m like ok I should move drink some water and then I realize my calf/lower legs also feel tight activated and overused. And I’m like well shit that sucks. So say I don’t end my quest there and just go back to sleep say I go to sit up drink some water or maybe go to the bathroom. Boom my hand joints hurt. Also lifting my phone rn is so heavy. And it’s like this is so lame. My condition yeah causes muscle weakness but this isn’t weakness it’s muscle lack of endurance. Like ok girl u can do something But Only Once.

side bar I have been so nauseous lately. It’s so bad man it’s like god wants me to throw up or something. I don’t want to throw up that’s so icky gross (I have already vommed twice this month) (once was just a little amount into my sink that disappeared real nice and easy and the other time was prolonged into my toilet) I am NOT having a good time. Another part of this side bar is as I was typing I decided to stretch my legs ie not have them scrunched and that was so uncomfortable.

anyways let’s see let’s pretend you’re my rheumatologist so I can try formulating ny words.

hey I’m doing well how are you. Honestly I have not been doing good lately. I think the increase dose of aza has made me slightly less fatigued but overall my quality of life has not been great. Like tiredness is getting vetting but I am still tired a lot of the time. But I’m still in pain almost constantly. Some times the pain is more at a background level like a 2 but a lot of the time it is at a higher level. Typically when I wake up my thighs feel really bad like that’s the first thing I notice when I wake up and the I realize that my calf muscles also feel like sore. I still have joint pain in my hands but that’s more of if I open and close my hands. I have noticed that the way I’ve been feeling in regards to my health has been limiting the way I live my daily life. My health has affected me both socially and scholastically. I have skipped on going out for the majority of the more recent social events my sorority has had as well as things I’m required to go to. Like I skipped out on going to volunteer at the 5k my sorority helps with bc I woke up that morning tired and in pain and also nauseous. This seems like the time to note that I have been more nauseated lately, which is an unappealing feeling. Like I’ve thrown up twice this month and have like really felt like I was going to vomit other times lately. Circling back I was hoping there was a medication or something that could help my treatment to lower my pain levels. Because I have been taking aleves like nearly every day not every day but nearly and while it’s otc I don’t want to be reliant on pain medication just to not feel pain. Like they help dampen a lot of the pain but like I still feel trace amounts of pain which can be really frustratibg. Like being in pain has made it incredibly hard for me to focus this past semester. Like when I’m in class I sit towards the from t but anytime i would adjust in my seat it would feel really bad like actively grimace levels of discomfort. It’s like I wouldn’t say the actual levels of pain are that awful but they are constantly on my mind and make it hard to focus on quite literally anything else. While I wouldn’t say that I’ve been experiencing muscle weakness there has been an increasingly lack in ebdurance. It’s harder to do things u was able to do before and things are overall more tired. This is a lame example but I’ve decided to “retire” my doc martens for this season because I get so tired wearing them. They are heavy shoes but still. Anyways was wondering two things: one being I really haven’t been handling being in pain so constantly all that well, I feel like since I’m less tired/not asleep as much I’m just feeling pain for longer periods so I was wondering if you knew of any therapists or something in (our city) because I feel like I’m kind of shutting down and I figured that maybe a professional could help me deal with my reality better. And two since my health has been causing me to struggle with my focus I did poorly in a couple of my classes this semester. I just wasn’t able to focus effectively and do my work to the quality it needs to be so I was considering doing a medical petition for those courses to be marked with a MW so that my gpa and scholarship won’t be too affected. It’s similar to what I had done my first year at uni. I was wondering if you could sign off on the letter saying that I have health problems. Thank you for your help with everything have a nice day

Ok purrr ur my rheumatologist simulator has ended

now that that’s over on to my other complaints in life. Once again my hair, my meds causing hair loss two year ago had made my hair a texture nightmare. Like 2/3 are straight and a third is frfr curly. I hate it sm I want to kms. Like it feels so disgusting. I hate this mixture of textures if it was all curly slay if it was all my regular hair more slay. I’m so pissed bc I used to love my hair it used to be one of my pride points in appearance now it’s annoying and fucking ugly and hard to deal with. And my other complaint is that I’ve gained weight and look bad now. Some times I can slay but overall I looked in the mirror this morning and was just upset. And since I wince so much lately I have like wince lines which feel accentuated with how I’ve gained weight in my face. And I’m so pissed off and sad

anyways yeah this has been a post of me being dissatisfied with life xoxo

[blizzardz]

💝🔪🫂💤 FOR ARCHIE RN

EHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE

💝 A headcanon about their love language

Archie being Archie he's gonna have all 5 love languages at some point but his first and most obvious love language is physical affection. Hugs, cuddles, kisses, the works. Being a little kid too, he doesn't have much a concept for boundaries and once he decides he likes someone it's all tight hugs- until they explicitly tell him they don't like touching. In that situation, another love language of his quality time. If you're fine giving him cuddles and investing lots of time with him he will literally never forget you.

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

Yknow this is why ask games with Archie are so interesting bc for every single thing has a split path.

In the case that he has a physical body, he'd get PUMMELED if he got in a fight. Look ik he's a protagonist and he's cool but like. He's a 9 year old who doesn't eat some nights so he's got nothing much going for him in physical strength that comes in handy in fights. Maybe he'd win if the opponent's smaller than him but also not defending themself but for people his height/stature and those Bigger- he's DONE FOR. on the ground first second

But if you MUST insist that he has fighting knowledge his stature comes to his advantage. It's canon to ahit that small people can jump higher and jump twice in the air. So as a proud wearer of the Just A Little Guy title, most of his moves in a fight would be evasion, and very light on his feet. He's all about dodging and if he Had to attack, his attacks would probably be something quick but precise. Again, IF he had that kind of knowledge.

As a ghost, he can manifest energy into a bow and arrow. Technically he can manifest other weapons but let's pretend there's a reason ghosts have assigned weapons. But ofc being a Little Guy it takes A LOT of ghost energy to make the weapon let alone use it AND pack enough energy to actually physically hit something. It'd have to be a fight with a lot of emotional impact on him, because this is the one time that being emotional helps in a fight. He uses the strong energy from the emotions to pack it into his weapon and hits, bc it's the only way he can attack physical things. For a fight with another ghost? Idfk re: 1st paragraph

🫂 A friendship headcanon

I do not have this emoji on my keyboard

Idrk what this means but like. Archie takes his relationships very seriously even if he is a little goofy in them. He loves people and he especially loves people that love him too. He tries his best to fulfill a friendship to its potential- he'll get invested in your interests, he'll make & give you gifts for no reason, there will be times he'll just call you "friend" in place of your name because he likes reminding himself that holy shit!!!!! He has a friend!!!!!!

And this may make him susceptible to some bad relationships but he believes that everyone should have a chance at a good relationship so he'll take the risk. Archie has a very big heart and social battery so he makes sure his friends never forget him the same way he won't forget them :]]]

💤 A headcanon about their sleep

Ok hear me out. Being the way he is, Archie tires himself out easily. He's running around all the time, he's picking up and leaving behind random projects and hobbies, and he's constantly yapping about something. He's a sleepy little guy by the end of the day (sometimes just in the afternoon lmao)

But there'll be times that his sleep isn't. So good. It ranges from hot & cold flashes, to bad nightmares that scare him from falling back asleep. And some of the nightmares he gets are from some really Fucked Up memories of his, and unfortunately, they're not rare. He usually feels better when he finds someone to snuggle with while he sleeps, but if he doesn't have anyone immediately available to him, he'll stay awake in hopes he falls asleep involuntarily. Depending on whether or not this works, some days he'll start the day pretty tired. It's so sad honestly he's just a little boy a little baby guy and he got nightmares a lot :((

[denkamis]

Can you please write a fluff one shot about a sk8 the infinity like his girlfriend/boyfriend/s/o falls asleep on him

to anon: omg first request omgomg thank you so much for sending one in! i wasn’t sure which sk8 character you were referring to, so i decided to write one for both reki and langa! hope you don’t mind hehe <3 this is the one for reki, the one for langa will take a little bit longer bc of valentine’s & other requests but i hope you like this one regardless!

warnings: none, just some fluffy times with the best boy. reader is gn!

word count: 1.3k

sleepyhead. (reki x reader)

Late nights were certainly not a rare occurrence with your boyfriend, Reki. He was filled to the brim with energy and passion that practically flowed out of him like a geyser. Not that you were opposed to that at all, you found that it was one of the qualities that made you fall for him in the first place. Though, you worried that he wasn’t taking into consideration his own personal health during these late night excursions. Take for instance tonight, as it was slowly approaching two thirty am, it seemed that the redhead had no clear intention of stopping his work.

The two of you were cooped up in his workshop behind his house, Reki singing along to some “cool jams” as he called them. In reality, it was his Spotify playlist of the “best 2000’s alternative” music like Sk8er Boi by Avril Lavigne and Dear Maria, Count Me In by All Time Low. You were barely hanging onto your string of consciousness, the mere idea of sleep sounding like absolute heaven at this very moment. You were propped up on a stool in the corner, the stack of skating magazines Reki had given you to flick through in case you got bored now sat in a neat pile off to the side. You had read each one of them front to back twice already tonight.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love spending time with Reki. You enjoyed listening to his midnight ramblings of whatever came to mind. His ideas for new boards, designs for stickers, and other creative ways to beat his future S opponents were usually his topics of interest. No one really noticed how much of an imaginative person your boyfriend was. He could be impulsive and over excited at times, but his fantastic mind and his willingness to create made your heart soar. Not only that, but he was fairly handy when it came to fixing up and assembling his own boards like he was some mad scientist waiting for one of his many experiments to go right. You indulged him as much as you could, you really did enjoy his company. Even if you would much rather be curled up beside him snuggling in bed rather than hear Reki precariously make his way through the lyrics of Check Yes Juliet for what seemed like the seventh time.

“Reki,” you spoke up finally as the analog clock on the wall indicated the current time of two forty-three am. Reki looked up from Langa’s custom longboard, hair bouncing about despite already being contained by the headband he wore everyday. “Yeah?” he asked, throwing a glance over his shoulder only to see your weary eyelids and tired expression. His entire demeanour melted, lips jutted out in a tiny pout upon seeing his poor baby so tired.

He backed away from his worktable, dancing and tiptoeing across the floor to avoid stepping on any spare parts or tools he had left lying about his mishmash of a workshop.

“Is baby tired?” he cooed, sawdusted fingers beginning to tug and pinch at the corners of your cheeks. You groaned in annoyance, your sleep deprived state causing you to be a tad more irritable at this hour. “Reki,” you repeated in a more serious tone, ember coloured irises meeting your e/c ones. His calloused hands moved to cup your face, warmth enveloping you in a way that felt like home. The scent of pine and the remnants of orange crush soda invaded your senses. He smiled at you with that goofy face of his, the one that Langa constantly teased for being weird. Maybe it was your sleepy nature, but he looked even more gorgeous in the harsh LED lighting of his garage. Tiny strands of his auburn hair fell in front of his face as he tilted his head to the side, his smile growing as he watched your eyes begin to droop.

“Please. Let’s go to bed,” you asked of him as kindly yet firmly as you could. Reki clicked his tongue a bit, thinking for a moment before delivering a cute peck to your nose. “A few more minutes! Then we can head inside, grab a cookie or two and crawl into bed together! It’ll be just a jiffy okay? Here, you can even set an alarm,” Reki was already reaching for his phone in his hoodie pocket so that you could do just as he suggested. He stopped in his tracks as he felt your hands clasp around his hoodie, pulling him close so that you could hug his torso. He laughed at how clingy you could be while being so sleepy, his hand patting atop your head as a form of affection.

“Wow, you really are.. sleeping,” Reki’s voice trailed off as he looked down to be greeted by you completely passed out against him. Your arms held your boyfriend close, your face buried within the fabric of his yellow skater boy hoodie. Soft snores escaped you, your breathing slowed and calm as you finally let your consciousness slip out of your ever fleeting grasp. Reki’s face began to bloom with colour the longer he stared at you, panic setting in as he realized what was truly happening.

You had fallen asleep against him. Oh shit. Oh god. You were asleep against him. That meant you were so comfortable that you just so happened to pass out in his arms. Reki bit back a giddy smile, warmth cascading through him in a form of nothing but love radiating solely for you at nearly three in the morning. His heart thumped rapidly against his rib cage. No matter how long he had been with you, he kept discovering new things about you that made him absolutely lose his mind. You falling asleep against him definitely being one of those many things. You looked so peaceful, so unbothered and safe within his embrace. This warmth you had given him overtook his will to keep working, his hands moving your hair out of the way of your face to kiss your forehead.

“Sorry for making you stay up, sweet baby,” he apologized in a quiet tone. His hands moved your arms to around his neck, using his strength to lift you up and wrap your legs securely around his waist. “I can’t say I’m not grateful for you being here for me, though. You could have left too, yet you stayed here for me,” Reki spoke to your sleeping form. The fact that you had stayed up with him this late made him even more grateful to have you. Reki grunted a bit as he adjusted to the newfound weight of you around him, your hair getting in his mouth and his eyes squinting to find the light switch so that he could flick it off before leaving. Reki was always careful with you, handling you as if you were a sort of glass figurine he barely even had the permission to touch.

“You look so damn cute like this, y’know,” he continued to speak as he maneuvered his way about his house, trying his best to subdue his footsteps and make as little noise as possible. He didn’t want to wake up his mom or little sisters. “Man, I’m so lucky. Seriously really lucky to have someone like you in my life.”

In your sleep, you subconsciously nuzzled your head against his chest. He melted a bit, holding back a tiny noise of happiness as he began to beam like an idiot holding his partner. You were the most amazing person, the person who made him happy every single day without fail, the person who picked him up no matter how much he bailed or got hurt. He loved you more than anything, and he wanted to treat you as well as you treated him. Even if it meant carrying you to bed after a late night of him talking your ear off about skateboarding for three consecutive hours.

all works © denkamis 2021.

tags:

@meilbox

wanna be on the taglist? see this post!

[shingia]

DATING SUNA...

in honor of this smexy middle blocker’s birthday, here are MANY hcs about what i think dating suna would be like (as exhaustively as possible) bcs he’s on my mind 25/8 <3

cw : one or two suggestive stuff, mentions of food

— EARLY RELATIONSHIP

• ok so suna would definitely not waste his time dating someone if he wasn’t truly in love

• that’s why it took him a few months to ask you out because 1. he wanted to be sure of his feelings 2. he wanted to be sure of yours 3. he was scared

• he probably acted detached at first, but it was just to compensate for the fact that you had him wrapped around your finger since day 1

• he probably didn’t officially tell his friends that you were dating and just casually kissed you before for his class (lowkey enjoyed leaving without a word while everyone else was freaking out)

• nicknames came after a few weeks, when he ‘accidentally’ called you babe after asking for a kiss. yeah he is that smooth

• because it took him so many months to ask you out, you already knew each other pretty well so he felt comfortable around you very quickly

• and he tried his best to make you feel the same if you were a bit more nervous

• honestly he couldn’t wait for you two to become closer over time <3 he's a sucker for the boyfriend/bestfriend dynamic

— LOVE LANGUAGE

->| QUALITY TIME

• he cherishes every single moment you spend together, even if it’s just for a few minutes between classes

• sure, there are times where you two just hang out at his place or yours, scrolling on your phones and enjoying each other’s company. but tell him once that you want to talk to him about something and you’ll have his undivided attention

• and lemme just kdjqdhvjdmsjvh real quick : eye contact. that’s how you know he’s listening, and he always leans in just enough for you to know that he’s paying attention. no phone in sight, just you.

• he doesn’t need to take you out on fancy dates for it to be called quality time, because he values impromptu face-to-face late night conversations much more than a dinner at the restaurant.

— DATES

• your first date was one of the only dates you spent outside, it was nothing extravagant you just went for coffee after school and ended up walking through the city, holding hands for the first time

• once you guys started officially dating, you realized that at-home dates were actually more your thing. but there needs to be a difference with the rest of the time you spend at home, so you always have one or two things planned like :

• cook together an elaborate meal for once, actually put an effort in the choice of the movie/tv show you’re gonna watch (and not end up watching rick and morty for the 23rd time this week), try the most questionable face masks recipes - he loves them and doesn’t even deny it

• but i feel like you guys might go out for your anniversaries, and it’s a great opportunity for him to take really nice pictures of you and update his phone’s lockscreen (he’s a huge simp)

• your dates often take place in the evening because he loves to see your face illuminated by the city lights, and he likes to know that you might get cold because he can be smooth af and give you his jacket (most of the pictures are taken when you’re wearing it)

• i think official and ‘elaborated’ dates with suna maybe occur every two weeks because he wants them to be special and likes to look forward to them

— CUDDLES

• he gets a kick out of kissing your whole face except your lips, but really he’s just waiting for you to get frustrated and kiss him yourself

• however, if you ever don’t play along he’ll stop like “wtf you’re not supposed to do nothing”

• he’ll give you lazy and passive cuddles where you just lay on top of him, hugging him while he watches something on tv or on his phone, BUT

• if he ever wraps a blanket around you then real cuddles begin. i’m talking scalp massages, back strokes, kisses, playing with your hands...

• i just know his kisses are aphrodisiac, there’s something about the way he holds your head still with his hands that’s just UGHHH

• you could be sharing a perfectly peaceful moment together and he’ll suddenly get bored and feel an urge to tickle your sides, squish your cheeks or randomly blow in your face/ear

• but god forbid you ever do that to him, he will crush you with all his weight until you can’t move

• he also uses your hand to scratch his back because he can’t do it without writhing like a cat, not that you’d complain about seeing that one day

• you two always end up dozing and losing track of time. “we stayed like that for NINETY MINUTES?” (he’d have to find an excuse for being late at practice, because there’s no way in hell he will tell the truth in front of the twins)

• it’s very likely that you guys wake up still cuddling after nine hours of sleep. i mean it’s canon that he has a good shoulder mobility so he can keep holding you even if you’ve moved in your sleep

• his biggest struggle is morning cuddles because it’s really hard for him to get out of bed and go on with his day when he’s so comfortable in bed with you

— PDA

• i think he’d adapt to your needs, he doesn’t really mind pda

• if he ever pulls you in for a hug in public, it won’t always be a soft and sweet hug, no. sometimes it might look like a literal headlock, but he’ll give you a quick peck on the head to make up for it

• in fact the only times his hugs are sweet and lovey in public are after his matches

• if atsumu ever makes fun of him for ‘being a softie’, he’ll do the exact opposite of what’s expected of him : and by that i mean ruthlessly tongue-kiss you until tsumu begs him to stop

• he uses hugs as a way to talk shit to you about someone without them realizing it

• he doesn’t necessarily hold your hand all the time but he has affectionate gestures like giving you little pats on the head or wiping dirt off of your clothes

• pokes your cheek for no reason, and that’s daily

• he’s also a fricken tease and doesn’t have any problem with gripping your thigh when you’re sat at a table :)

— COUPLE DYNAMIC

• he tries so hard to act like you’re the clingy one but everyone knows it’s a lie

• he probably has a private story called ‘being held against my will’ where it’s just him roasting you on a daily basis

• which is a great contrast with all the albums full of pictures of you in his camera roll. like i said, he’s a MAJOR SIMP

• you also have a private story called ‘exposing the truth’ and it’s filled with stolen clichés of him being a needy and whiny little bïtch (sorry i got carried away) : it’s the twins’ main source of blackmail

• i said before that suna’s a sucker for the boyfriend/bestfriend dynamic. yeah well you guys definitely have it - you can spend entire afternoons together without once acting like a couple

• he’d give you a kidney if you ever needed one, but steal one of his fries and he’ll flip your chair over without thinking twice

•  you both think that your failed attempts at being romantic are hilarious. one time he tried to kiss you under the rain but you were so cold that you couldn’t stop your teeth from chattering and yeah it was just terrible

• the efforts you put in to embarrass each other are remarkable. you once kissed him in a supermarket and he just pulled away, yelling “MOM AND DAD SAID NOT IN PUBLIC !”

— RANDOM HCS THAT GIVE ME LIFE

• remember when i said you guys would do face masks together ? yeah well suna doesn’t own any headband which means that you have to tie his hair up in two pigtails at the front (it’s too short for one ponytail or a bun hehe)

• he has a silent laugh, the kind of laugh where he just wheezes while slapping his thighs, and he has to make a conscious effort to catch his breath

• he tugs on your sleeve whenever he wants to show you something <3

• in winter he writes messages on the frost of your car’s windows. nothing cheesy, probably something along the lines of “nice ass”

• he thinks it’s hilarious that your contact name in his phone is your full name, no emojis, nothing. he even put caps at the beginning 

• he sends you 30 tiktoks per day and expects you to answer to all of them

• he makes you playlists for the dumbest things. one of them is called ‘dentist appointment vibes’

• he likes to see you wear many layers of clothing in winter because he takes great pride in being the only one to know what’s hiding under them *wink*

• when he’s driving, he often tries to be smooth and stare at you lovingly when he’s at a red light, but he always misses the moment when it turns green and the other drivers start to furiously honk at him (another failed attempt at being romantic)

• i’m gonna be honest w/ you : he’s probably effortlessly seggsy when he drives

in conclusion : you might not be the most romantic couple, but your vibes are 𝑖𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒 because you’re both so madly in love with each other

pspsps: here’s a link to my suna playlist that fuels my mind with thousands of scenarios 

[wantaichi]

haikyuu + skincare hcs

ever think abt how they treat their skin? probably not. but like. do they wash their face like a normal person? have a 32 step skincare routine maybe??

msg me for any character who’s not here and i’ll drop their routine for u

masterlist.

karasuno

sugawara. lives up to his title as mr. refreshing. cleanses, tones, and moisturizes. !chefs kiss! keeps a jar of aloe vera face gel in his fridge, his mom had a spare. carries around a 100-sheet pack of oil film, more out of habit than of need. good skincare just makes him feel in control of his life, ok

ennoshita. fuckin’ spotless. part of the 0.0001% who don’t sweat easily. doesn’t have a complete regimen but never skips out on cleansing and toning before bed. actually reads the product ingredients and googles the benefits before buying. neutrogena type of guy. 

asahi. facial scrubs are his holy grail. like. dead skin? stubborn hair follicles? haha not on his watch ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ trims his goatee every 3-4 week bc a well-groomed beard goes hand in hand with proper skincare. a sucker for aromatic products. lavender? shea butter? SOLD.

daichi. “healthy lifestyle is key to healthy skin“ typa dude. rly just thinks natural is the way to go. drinks 8 glasses of water, eats his veggies, exercises regularly, gets 8 hours of sleep. sounds like smth off wikihow if u ask me. probably is.

tsukishima. cetaphil hoe. brand loyalty embodied. on it for 5++ years, and never once considered switching. BUT. his routine ends at step 1. cleanse. and that’s it. the fuck he need a 32 step skincare routine for? long as he gets a day’s worth of grime and dirt off his face, he gucci

yamaguchi. sensitive skin’s got him constantly changing/exploring different products. rode on tsukki’s cetaphil agenda for the first few years of puberty (rly just out of curiousity) but dropped out when his skin got used to it. thinks pimple patches are a blessing to mankind.

tanaka. fuck. chaotic greasy. asks for oil film from suga just to stick it on his forehead, lets it stay there. uses whatever’s in the bathroom to wash off, aka majority of saeko’s products. got yelled at once to “get his greasy ass over here” and got slabbed with aztec healing clay mask. converted to clay mask hoe after 20 minutes. “mm this shit’s dope!”

nishinoya. fuck. chaotic greasy part ii. but make it baby face. only does skincare when chillin at the tanakas. homie got him to try the clay mask bc chick’s dig that. “bro, u mean the mask or boys who do the mask?” “both bro” “awshit bro gimme that” thinks splashing some water twice a week is enough

kageyama. ? this yalls mans? oblivious to the whole concept of skincare, only acknowledges general hygiene. uses whatever’s on the soap holder to wash his face. probably dove. doesnt really have much skin problems to begin with, only breaks out once a year. living proof that god has favorites.

hinata. only started taking skincare seriously that time a huge ass zit grew on his chin. yachi offered him her unfinished bottle of cosrx (she’s a hoarder and u kno it), and has since been giving him all her leftover bottles. basically gets to use good quality products for free smh

nekoma

kuroo. not very big on the idea of skincare per se, but supports any brand on that cruelty-free and vegan agenda. reads the product ingredients like a children’s book. “mm phenoxyethanol and retinyl palmitate.. i’ll take it.” always leaves the saleslady stunned.

kenma. too lazy to adopt a routine. but regularly uses his mom’s facial wash. you know. those mom brands. has a stash of facemasks from lev’s trip to korea —> only form of skincare he actually appreciates bc he can simultaneously play his games and be all bout dat self care 

lev. abuses his perks of having a sister. casually uses all alisa’s imported, high end stuff. la prairie. estee lauder. la mer. and she doesn’t mind bc her “levochka deserves all the finest things”. boujee ass russians

yaku. baby face. when god made it rain collagen, he was freestylin in a pool full of it while we was all sleepin. doesn’t exert much effort, just cleanses and tones bc it’s part of proper hygiene. girls envy him. parents in their 40s wanna be him. 

seijoh

oikawa. SKINCARE HOE KING. fuckin high maintenance. goes to the derma for his monthly laser facial treatment. on broke days, he settles for a diamond peel. skin so smooth it puts the entire female population to shame. spends his savings on those clinique eye creams. probably modeled for the face shop once

iwaizumi. homie reeks of male cleanser. might either dove men or nivea men. there’s no in between. oikawa internally screams everytime he witnesses his bff wash his face. two words. aggressive. rubbing. bordering on hostile he might actually skin his face off

mattsun and makki. fuck. drugstore cleansers. the ones that come in sachets. agreed to take turns in buying bundles for sharing. sometimes sneaks a pinch from oikawa’s clinique products when he’s not looking. haha dumb hoe. may have an addiction to charcoal nose pore strips just so they can compare blackheads

fukurodani

bokuto. buys whatever’s on sale idfk. genuinely wants to get on kuroo’s go green agenda but too lazy to look around the store. normally just uses the bubbles from his soap or shampoo. his belief: if it cleans his hands and his ass, then it can fuckin clean his face too

akaashi. healthy lifestyle + decent regimen = pretty skin. cleanses and tones. tried his mom’s aloe vera face gel once and got hooked. shit’s relaxing as hell. owns a bunch of facemasks, sometimes uses but keeps forgetting to take them off before falling asleep. uwu af

dateko

futakuchi. doesn’t have a routine cause “who tf needs that” and “obviously not me.” or so he says. secretly the biggest spender on skincare in all of dateko. owns a bunch of anti wrinkle products and probably one of those jade rollers. but no one needs to know that. just wants everyone to think he’s naturally pretty

aone. told by futakuchi that “knitting your brows too much causes premature wrinkles, but not like i’m an expert on that hhhahaha dont get me wrong.” can’t rly do anything bout it. he was born with that face. also buys whatever’s on sale

shiratorizawa

ushijima. surprisingly blemish free? but not entirely smooth? just spotless? basically a rock? never went past step 1: cleanse. never realized he’s been skipping out the 31 next steps. cetaphil hoe.

tendou. dry. crusty. compensates by sweating a lot through practice. might be effective if he’d stop leaving the foam on longer than recommended, thus leaving his skin dryer than his love life. yeah, i went there.

shirabu. flawless at first glance. until you lift those uneven ass bangs. tbh its nothing serious except “are we gonna ignore the fact that his whiteheads follow the shape of his bangs” as pointed out by tendou. uses whatever cleanser his mom buys for him

semi. decent skin care routine. a big boy who’s fairly knowledgeable on other brands outside cetaphil and dove/garnier/nivea men. takes him less than 5 minutes to pick a product bc he’s tried them all, knows what works, knows his skin type in and out. stan semi for clear skin.

see inarizaki + sakusa here

[justjstuff]

I just wanted to let you know that I am a ginormous fan of DOF and looked forward to Fire Friday every week! Your writing skills are astounding and I’m so thankful for your incredible depiction of Sakura’s bad-ass personality and story in this fic. Not only that, I am amazed at all the consistently LARGE contribution you used to upload weekly because the quality is literally off the charts. I’m so thankful that you’re taking a break because I know that accomplishing all of this as well as you do cannot be easy! Nonetheless, I would like for you to know that you have a huge fan in me and I will continue to look forward to new chapters (whenever they may come-excellence takes time 😉). Really though, I can’t stop gushing about this fic and I guess just thank you for all of the hard work you put in it so people like me can get some free serotonin each time we read it lol. You’re amazing!!

Anon-san, your sweet words give me life, thank you so so much. I've had a lot of people tell me how much the weekly updates were grounding and a breath of fresh air in this pandemilovato but your comment has to be one of the best I've got so far because.... oh man, I desperately need not only others but also myself to realise just how taxing it was.

So yeah, thank you for loving my story but also thank you for reminding myself that it was a HUGE accomplishment and that it's okay if I maybe can't meet it anymore. I've recently begun digging deep into myself and started going to more intensive (and intrusive) therapy and had some diagnosis that are pretty mindblowing in a way and now I'm trying to be mindful not to push myself to my limits. It's hard af, let me tell you, I know the potential I have and it feels normal to always want to achieve it but I gotta remind myself that maybe my "full potential" isn't as healthy as I thought it was.

I'm extremely glad that I got the opportunity to give y'all that experience of nice 8-12k long chapters a week, with lots of character and plot work, at roughly the same time, every Fire Friday. *aggressively throws serotonin everywhere I can •̀.̫•́✧*

(pagebreak bc y'all didn't sign up for hugeass posts in your dash lol)

For a bit of an update on how my process is coming along: I got sick. Covid got me y'all and I still only had the first dose and suffer from asthma so daaamn this motherfucker's got hands. No need to worry about me tho!! My tests are coming back okay and at least my fever is gone BUT that means my brain is a bit like mush rn and while I'm still working, I'm doing so veeery much slower. Anyways, covid was just the cherry on top this month but I don't want to get too deep into it.

I genuinely think Fire Fridays were good not only for you guys (esp during that time back in 2020 where literally everyone was at home and routines were thrown out the window faster than you can say defenestration) but also for me, it gave me a nice sense of "normal" when everything was shit. Uuhh as you've seen in my last AN, I dropped out of college and am currently pursuing other dreams/way of living so I think having that set date will help me A LOT while juggling real life and fandom life. That being said, some things had to change.

First of all is the way of seeing Fire Fridays as if it's a deadline set by my boss. Nah, I don't get paid for writing fanfiction and I'm done treating it as a job. I know not a lot of people have the same care that you did while commenting and there is a lot of nagging and grumbling about Fire Fridays (even if sometimes those comments are even sweet while they do it) but I'm incredibly proud to say that comments from people in the internet I don't know hardly have an affect on me. Lol y'all haters can hate but I'm my worse critic and I fkn know it, nothing you say will change the way I see myself and my work. That being said, a lot of that nagging was being unconsciously done by me *gasp* I know. I'm an overachiever. Shocking.

NO MORE OF THAT.

Next order of business is how I was going about Fire Fridays. My first break came because I literally didn't have any "spare chapters" meaning, I wrote, edited, sent for my Beta to edit, and then edited myself again a whole ass 9k monster every week and that shit was like a kick to the ass right into the general direction of Burnout City. Not fun. So I took a "break" which wasn't really a break because I still wrote 71k words in that month and when I started back up with Fire Fridays, I had a lot of chapters to post, right? WRONG. If each chapter had 10k words (which is roughly what was happening on an average), that meant I only had 7 new chapters to post with severe burnout making it practically impossible for me to write anything else to the point that I couldn't even bring myself to edit the first drafts of those chapters. Again. Not fun.

So now, my idea has been: try to aim for Fire Fridays in a healthy way but also let my readers know they might not get another batch of those lovely what? six months of new chapters every friday. What does that mean? Well, it means I'm trying to write some chapters ahead! So while y'all aren't really getting anything since the last chapter, that has been a conscious decision on my part not to leave y'all with horrible cliffhangers when I can't be sure I'll make quick enough updates (and that definition has changed to maybe twice a month? We'll see). I'm writing. It's going fairly slowly by my standards but since I've come really close to giving up on DoF in favour of RL original content, I'm proud of it.

YOU're amazing, Anon-san. Thank you so much for reaching out, I hope you have a lovely end of the week and that you and your loved ones are safe and happy as can be in late stage capitalism <3

[goldafterglow]

Headcanons on Ezra and/or Frankie not feeling good enough for their S/O and their S/O comforting them?

A/N: first of all these are definitely a choice I made and it’s okay; second of all, why did this take me all day to write haskghfdj but I did both Ezra and Frankie bc I was having a soft Frankie moment; third of all I literally did not read though this so it’s probably full of typos and redundant words but fuck me

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: angst, fluff?, soft!hours bitch everyday is soft hours on this blog, the same thing twice except it’s not the same thing at all but it is lol, some quality ass lines going to waste in a headcanon but I loved writing this so it’s okay

Ezra

he absolutely feels this way when he falls in love after losing his arm

Assuming his right hand was his dominant one, he was nearly sobbing from the emotional loss. Ezra thinks a lot, he assigns musings to inanimate objects like books and buttons and arms, because he wants the believe there is beauty in everything, that everything has meaning.

Feeling things is very important to him. The texture of a tree trunk, the cooling glitter of river water, the bumps on your skin. When he says “no love too intimidating,” he definitely means how his right arm holds his most intimate secrets.

He wants to love you to his fullest capacity, love you with his whole body and every last molecule of his tattered soul because you deserve so much more but that’s all he has to offer.

Ezra gets touchy when he’s feeling less than. It’s difficult to notice if you don’t pay careful attention; he is touchy enough on its own. But his insecurities rear its ugly head in the most timid of ways: a kiss that lingers for just a moment more, a hug that lasts a second longer, a nuzzle that travels deeper into your neck than you thought possible. Because he doesn’t know how to compensate for that arm, that missing piece of him.

Ezra is a very honest man; it’s hard for him to keep his emotions in his chest for them to rot and suppurate in the swollen heat. So he’ll probably ask you if you think he’s enough in more ways than one.

It’s confusing to you at first; Ezra has always been somewhat of an enigma, always saying so much and yet the meaning behind his words is so complex that you couldn’t begin to comprehend how the stars over his head cross each other.

“Won’t you lay here with me, my starlight?” and “Just one more kiss, butterfly,” and “Can’t an enamored man tell his muse that he is in such a state?”

And it’s hard for you to say no to him when he looks at you with his pathetic doe eyes, begging you to let him love on you.

But as his doubts grow, his questions begin to concern you.

“Dandelion, you’re happy here aren’t you? With me?”

It breaks your heart to see him so lost, feeling to destitute.

But Ezra trusts you, gives you his whole essence because he doesn’t believe you’d ever want to hurt him, so it’s just a matter of cooing “sweet boy, of course I’m happy. Ezra, you make me happy.”

Or even telling him that “pretty poet, you just being is enough” and that “your existence is a gift in its own, Ezra”

It takes time, requires cycles for him to learn that his love for you is not tied to a limb, attached to anything physical. His love is misty, a cotton candy fog that fills your atmosphere and enters your lungs, melting down to sugar so that you can hear it rattle when you breathe.

But he learns.

Frankie

our beautiful angel bottom

Frankie always feels like he’s taking from you.

You’re so good to him, so loving, and he has spent his time with you letting the little moments with you add up.

He has the ability to recognize every little second of time you spare for him: bringing him take out after he’s had a long day, letting him drive you far off to the ridged edges of the earth so he has a human cushion to hold while he star gazes, sitting in his lap in the backseat of his truck during a drive-thru movie doing anything but watching.

You’re a lot for him, you give him so much, and he doubts that he filling your cup in the same way you empty it. The way you empty yourself into him.

Frankie’s not the best at communicating his problems. He likes to hold things in, to sit and observe and hold his own thoughts until he bursts and his words sting as they leave his lips. He lets his insecurities build, develop in a static silence that he thinks he can resolve on his own because he doesn’t want to burden you more, dump even more of his baggage onto you.

When he gets like this, when he’s festering, he gets distant. It only ever aggravates the issue, rubbing sandpaper on a sunburn and rolling coins into a stab wound, but he’s afraid of offending you. He’s scared of pushing you away.

Frankie’s words do not come in a million small drops of rain, a thousand dainty freckles peppered along cheekbones. Frankie feels like he is the storm, the flood, the monsoon, and that when his feelings flow they crash onto the ground and destroy homes in his path and uproot trees buried deep in the Earth.

He doesn’t tell you until you confront him, asking him why he’s been so distant. Asking him if everything’s okay.

And he can’t lie to you like that, he can’t tell you that there isn’t anything wrong, because something is wrong and it’s with him.

He’s barely able to get out a “Baby I-” before his throat constricts, choking out the flames of his sweet voice. He always tries to be delicate with you.

You have you hold him in your arms for a little bit, give him a safe space to collect himself and pull his shit together because he can’t believe he’s putting this on you, drawing pity out of you.

You’re tender with him, not that it’s hard. Holding him is like balancing a scared puppy in your hands; how could you ever hurt it, be rough or mean towards it?

Telling him that “it’s okay, baby, I promise I can handle it.”

Once his thundering has quieted and the lightning stops striking, he musters to courage to tell you that “I know I don’t deserve you. Just - please, take me as I am.”

Your heart fills with his pain, pins pushing out the walls from the inside. You had no idea.

 But with a little “I think you deserve everything Frankie” and a little “baby, if I took all of you I think I’d drown,” and even something as simple as “Francisco Morales, you have always been enough,” he feels universes better.

It doesn’t take much for him to back to that sweet, soft man that loves you so kindly.

Your gentle giant.

Tags: @mrsparknuts @girlwithanewplan @mrschiltoncat @agentpike

i’m still figuring my tags bc I’m a mess but child anyways here’s the link for my tags bc WOW pls just take it because I added a question about fics/drabbles/headcanons which is why I’m having hot girl problems rn

[hesther-mcg]

blue dragons, part one + chapter eight

➥ pairing: eventual asami x oc 

➥ summary: the one where azula trains ursa, and gets the shock of a lifetime; or the one where a picky spirit makes himself known for the first time in ages  

➥ rating: angst i suppose

➥ warnings: mentions of past abuse 

➥ a/n: mnmxcnvxn this took forever to get out bc life is cray cray, haha srry folks but here we are!! this is quite an interesting chapter in my opinion, i really love the dynamic between ursa and azula and giving azula this opportunity means a lot. also this is an introduction to a certain blue serpentine spirit OoOoOoOoOo

also for clarification purposes, when ursa’s eyes glow, it looks like the avatar state but blue ya know

p1, chap seven  p1, chap eight  p1, chap nine  blue dragons m. list

Frustration itched at every nerve in Ursa’s body, and she let out a huff. She swiped at her bangs that fell in her face as she paced back to the bench on the far side of the training yard. Her glass of watermelon juice was almost empty, and an added weight fell on her already sagging shoulders. She downed the rest of it and returned it to its spot, perhaps a little harshly, and shook her head. 

A growl escaped her mouth and she screamed as she shot a large stream of fire at nothing in particular. Unbeknownst to her, Azula lurked in the shadows behind her. She had watched the Crown Princess -only thirteen years of age- train for a short while, her determination admirable and patience thinning. The older woman could see the mistakes that were made, minor in severity and easy to fix with a little guidance. 

It had taken a long while for her to acknowledge the likeness between her and her young niece; she hadn’t wanted to and had adamantly denied it. But one day things just clicked, and she realized that Ursa looking like her, and thinking like her, and being as powerful as her wasn’t as bad as she thought. 

Because her father was long gone.  

What had happened to Zuko would never, in a million years, happen again, and what had happened to Azula surely wouldn’t either. Her older brother had proved himself to be an amazing father, and Izumi never once lived a day thinking she hadn’t made him proud. He never spoke down to her for being a girl, he never got angry because she couldn’t make up for it with bending, and he never used her for his own personal gain. 

All of which were things Azula had been subjected to in her childhood, and had ultimately feared her niece would be as well, but was relieved to see otherwise. Their father, and his legacy, was long gone; and only when she accepted that fact could she truly accept her own growth and healing. And only when she accepted those could she accept that Ursa had all of her best qualities, and some of her not so best qualities, and if they were nurtured and guided correctly she could be like no one else. 

“My, my, Princess; have you been out here all day?” Azula inquired as she emerged from the shadows and took slow steps to the aforementioned Princess, hands clasped behind her back and head held high just like always. 

“Hey, Auntie Zula,” Ursa sighed as she bowed before rising again. “Almost; I’m going over some of the advanced moves I learned, and I’ve almost mastered them all but I can’t seem to get this last one.” She shook her head. “I’m doing exactly what my Master did, and it’s still not right. I know I’m better than this.” 

“You are,” the older woman responded without missing a beat. She paced in front of her young niece. “You are better than this, this is but a mere moment in your path to mastering the element. You’re incredibly skilled, Ursa, never forget that. Before too much longer you’ll surpass your Master and they will no longer be able to do you any good. I was going to step in after that, but I can see that now is as good a time as ever.” 

“Really?” One would have to be deaf to miss the eagerness laced in her question. 

“Of course,” Azula turned sharply in place. “I know exactly what mistakes you’re making; though, it’s not your fault. I hate to tell you this, Princess, but your Master is a doofus.” The younger girl giggled from behind her hand. “Are you a dragon?” 

The question caught Ursa off guard. “Huh?” 

“Are you a dragon?” She repeated slowly. The look in her eyes was familiar, she had seen it in her father’s, grandmother’s, and great grandfather’s eyes many times before. She’d seen it in the mirror only once or twice; it was a look of true seriousness, one you could only get when, you might not know what you’re doing, but, you know that whatever it is you can do it. She tried her best to mimic it in her own matching eyes. 

“Yes. I am a dragon.” 

“That’s what I thought.” Azula stated smugly. “Only dragons can teach dragons, Ursa, and since The Great Dragon of the West is no longer with us, I only see it fitting that I take over as your Master. After all,” she raised one hand in front of her, and blue fire floated in her palm. “We do have twin flames.”  

The pair shared a smile before Azula extinguished the flame and returned her hand to its rightful place, clasped in the other behind her back. Ursa placed one hand, fingers straight and palm pointed to the side, above the other, which was closed in a fist. She bowed deeply, “thank you for teaching me, Sifu Azula.” She rose back up and turned away from her Master. She faced straight ahead, ready for anything. “What should I do first?” 

Lady Azula smiled to herself. “Your punches and kicks were good, but everything has room for improvement. You’re not putting enough power into your jump, and then not putting enough power in the flames. Let’s break it down. Take your stance.” 

Ursa positioned herself in the stance she normally chose. Her grandfather had shown it to her, and she figured out that it was the one that worked easiest with her dynamic. Her left foot forward, right foot behind her. Knees slightly bent. Arms out before her, elbows slightly bent as well. Palms open, fingers relaxed. Ready to strike. 

“Remember, firebending comes from the breath. Focus on the fire inside of you, and breathe in deeply; allow the air to reach the flames. Let your chi flow freely, the reason our fire burns blue is because it is pure. Your river is unblocked, your chi’s are synced and your power flows through you. Pure, clean, untethered fire. You have the power, be the thing that controls it.” 

Deep breaths. Unlocked chi’s. Flowing river. The Princesses eyes had long since closed, and she envisioned all the things her aunt spoke about. 

“Reposition,” Azula coaxed quieter, seeing the concentration on Ursa’s face. 

The girl’s hands formed fists, clenched tightly, and her left arm straightened itself out. Her right fist drew back and rested right beside her eyes. 

“Now, punch.” 

It was like time moved in slow motion Her eyes snapped open before narrowing into a squint. Her brows drew together and her face scrunched up. She lunged her right fist forward, stepping into the punch with her right foot; bringing as much power as she could for the opening attack. Her fists lit ablaze, encircled with blue, and she punched a rather large fireball straight ahead. Her grunts were barely audible over the loud swoosh of the flames. 

Ursa dealt one strike after the other, slowly making her way forward, sometimes ducking to avoid a blow from an imaginary opponent. “Kick,” Azula commanded loudly. 

One last punch before she kicked her right leg in a half circle, flames following closely.  They lingered in the air and Ursa spun around and shielded herself from view with more blue fire. “Now jump!” 

A moment passed, a moment where the older woman’s breath caught in her lungs. Then, before any particular emotion could truly settle in her bones, Ursa leapt out from the wall of blue flames, a look of ferocity painting her features. She landed on her feet and sprung forward not a moment later; she took one step, two steps, three...

And on her final step she jumped high in the air, and Azula’s voice cut through the noise, “Roar!” 

Flames from her feet propelled her upwards, a gust of blue, and the same shot out of her hands. Her face scrunched up as her cry echoed around the training yard, a stream of fire shooting out of her open mouth. Everything was blue, all Azula could see was blue. And all she could feel was heat. 

But what really shocked her, what really made her brows scrunch together and her jaw drop, was the Princesses eyes, once a piercing golden brown, were now completely blue. The fire around her swirled and moved until it started to take form. The form of a dragon.

Of course. Of course. It made sense, everything about her fit the role. 

“The Spirit of the Dragon…” She whispered in awe. It was a phenomenon that she never thought she would be alive to witness, and she would never tell a soul about the tears that filled her eyes as she watched her great niece display her sheer power. 

When the roar died down, and Ursa’s flames shrunk, and she dropped to the ground, her eyes fell shut and her knees gave out. She caught herself with her hands and shook her head. With a couple groans, and a few deep breaths she was back on her feet. 

“Holy shit.” A voice broke the silence. Azula turned around only to see her older brother; Zuko’s mouth hung open and his arms were limp at his side. 

“That-” the Princess cut herself off to catch her breath. “That wasn’t supposed to happen,” she chuckled lowly. Her eyes flickered from her great aunt and great grandfather. She didn’t know how to feel about what had just occurred. On one hand, she knew that her family would never think any different of her for anything, they had always told her that nothing could ever make them not love her; but on the other, insecurity and fear seemed like the obvious answer. 

What if they thought she was too powerful? What if they feared she would be the demise of the Fire Nation? She didn’t even know what took over her, what if it was something evil? What if, what if, what if- 

“Ursa,” Azula broke her train of thought. She snapped back to reality, heart in her stomach, and looked at the older woman. “Do you know what just happened?” Dread pricked at every nerve in her body and she shook her head. Her fingers began to tremble and she clenched her hands into fists to hide it. 

“That was the Spirit of the Dragon, my dear. A powerful spirit of the very first dragon; it has possessed only few people throughout history, not nearly as much as the Avatar, but hasn’t made itself known in centuries. My, Ursa,” Zuko marveled. “It chose you, how incredible.” 

“I’m not-I’m not in trouble?” She stuttered. 

“Of course not,” Azula shook her head and made her way to the girl, hands reaching out. They rested on her shoulders and she leaned down so their eyes met. “I know what you’re thinking, and you don’t have to worry. What happened to me will never happen to you, I promise you that. Do you know what the Spirit of the Dragon means exactly?” The girl shook her head before her aunt continued. 

“The Spirit of the Dragon, like Zuzu explained before, is a very powerful spirit. It has joined with numerous people over the course of time, merging with them and bestowing knowledge and strength upon them like no other. It can’t just be anybody, however,” she paused and looked over at the bench. She motioned to it with her hand and the three of them traveled to it together, and they made sure that Ursa sat in between them. “The kind of people that the Dragon Spirit chooses are powerful, people who are destined to do great things in this world. The power to stand up to people, for people, and with people is incredible. It might sound simple, but most people can’t say they passed the test. You did.” 

“We’ve known since the day you were born that you held incredible powers and an even more important destiny,” the older man took over. “But we never could have imagined this for you.” He chuckled lightly and shook his head. 

Azula took that as her cue to continue. “But we’ve never, ever, feared that you would do something wrong, or that you would be too powerful for your own good. And no matter what happens, to you or to us, and no matter what you have to go through, we’ll always be with you.” 

Ursa nodded her head and wiped her cheeks of any tears. Her eyes were red and swollen, but her hands no longer trembled and her shoulders only slightly shook as she calmed down. 

“Now,” Lady Azula stated, her tone back to the normal smooth and sharp drawl. “Are you a dragon?” 

“Yes.” Ursa looked at her and tried with everything she had to convey just how much she meant it. 

“Who are you?” The question cut through the air sharply, and a moment later the younger girl's eyes changed colors again, both glowing a bright blue. 

“I am Crown Princess Ursa of the Fire Nation, Heir to the Throne; I am the Dragon Princess and I have the power of the first dragon’s spirit!” 

➥ tag list: @talas-starlight  @ewanssdjarins  @appa-gaangnam-style  @strawberisapphic  @avatarsnips​  @graciefullygracie​

[nadiineross]

widow angst abt not loving sombra but also maybe loving sombra, going in circles and circles like a lil caged animal, fucked up tenses and incoherent half thoughts bc its almost 4am i wrote this in 30min

Widow doesn’t know, sometimes, what to do with choices. She’s hardly had to make any since she became who she is. But Sombra always demands that she make them: choose the restaurant they’re ordering from, pick which car to jack, do you want to go on a date?

With most of her emotions, few of them as they are, she doesn’t know what to do with. Doesn’t know if she wants them. Sombra wants her to know and, that, she knows she dislikes. But she likes Sombra, so she puts up with it.

Sombra is demanding in this way. If it were anyone else, Widow would have shot them by now, for being so presumptuous, for the arrogance, the selfishness, to ask this of Widow.

But Sombra’s Sombra and not many people like Widow, so she has to hold on to those who do. Or she doesn’t. Many people like Widow. She’s pretty, she knows. She flaunts it, after all, to get what she wants sometimes. Those people, Widow wouldn’t think twice about killing.

Sombra is different because she actually gives a damn. Sombra thinks she loves Widow which is something they have argued about a few times—always, Widow lets the matter rest once she has said her piece, because Sombra can be stubborn when she wants to be, can outwait Widow when she wants to.

Sombra’s special like that. She’s silly, idiotic, callous, but underneath it all, she’s still the most independently capable, motivated, and intelligent person Widow knows. She’s entirely self-made, entirely in control. And she hides it all behind being a cheeky shit because it’s the smart thing to do and Sombra is so smart.

Being with her makes Widow feel powerful. At night, when Sombra’s curled up against Widow’s side, Widow will brush her ridiculous purple hair out of her face, trace the curve of her forehead, and think about how the brain encased in Sombra’s hard head can, and in fact has, toppled small countries on its own. And this very brain thinks it loves Widow.

Widow isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth—usually.

It’s a matter of practicality, really. Sure, she’s not who she used to be and physically can’t process emotions the way regular people can. But she’s not dumb; she knows how relationships work. She was married, for God’s sake.

She knows, logically, it’s about communication and honesty, and reciprocation. Otherwise, it’s just leeching. It’s being deadweight.

Widow can force communication and honesty out of herself. Those are things that are within her capabilities. The necessary skills and traits are useful to Talon, so she has them. Reciprocation is a different story. Reciprocation is difficult.

She likes Sombra, so she will make a conscious effort to keep her around. Sombra tells her that this is what love is.

Widow agrees and disagrees. Of course, she cares for Sombra’s wellbeing, but she cares about Akande and Gabriel, too. She would never claim she loves them, not in the way she might with Sombra.

That’s another thing: uncertainty. She is certain she doesn’t love other people. She isn’t so sure with Sombra.

Sombra can be very convincing, if she puts the effort in—coercion is her whole schtick, anyway—and this Widow also likes and hates. They’ve done a bunch of new and exciting things together, and most of it, Sombra had talked Widow into. Widow values those experiences.

But Sombra also talks Widow into things she’s not so enthusiastic about. Submitting a form to Talon declaring their relationship? Thinking about that day makes her want to murder someone. So awkward.

Sombra also talks Widow into thinking she might love Sombra back. And that’s good if she does, and astronomically bad if she doesn’t. Because honesty. Widow doesn’t lie to Sombra often. Sombra doesn’t care if Widow lies about work since she could find out if she really wanted to but, out of all Talon personnel, she is the farthest from a Talon loyalist and couldn’t give less of a damn about its goals.

Otherwise, though, Widow doesn’t hide much from Sombra. Maybe if Sombra makes Widow feel vaguely embarrassed about something, Widow will try to hide it just to save face, but Sombra sees through that like glass and Sombra almost never means to make Widow feel like that, never maliciously. So, it makes it okay. It does.

Widow can’t say the same.

Other people’s misfortune, especially brought about by her own hand, makes her happy. Makes her feel powerful. She can’t help it if an impulse to be cruel seizes her. It doesn’t come up with Sombra except when she feels cornered and that’s when she feels uncertain and out of her element.

Sombra is excellent at provoking those feelings. Again, Widow doesn’t experience feelings the way Sombra does, so it’s okay sometimes. Only sometimes.

The first time Sombra had said she loved Widow, Widow had called her stupid and left her in the cold. And Widow knew, immediately, that it hurt Sombra.

She knew it would be best for the health of their relationship if she apologized and explained herself, but there wasn’t a strong desire to do that, so she had left it until Sombra came and gave Widow a piece of her mind. After that, Widow had indeed explained, slowly, off kilter, mildly irritated.

It’s a mess. Widow doesn’t mind a mess but it’s not good for relationships and Widow wants to maintain this one. Wants to clean it up, knows which tools to use to do so, knows how to use those tools. Doesn’t, in the end, have access to some of them.

Sombra must know this. Sombra does know this.

Still, Sombra insists on telling Widow she loves her.

Widow can’t stand it.

Widow tries to stand it.

“That’s love, Spider.”

Widow scoffs at the thought.

When she was young, her parents got her a fish and Widow had tried to take care of it and failed spectacularly. The fish had died within two days. Trying isn’t sufficient.

She hardly succeeds, with Sombra.

She can do the easy things, the small things that don’t inspire feelings of triumph from Widow. If Sombra wants to be held, Widow will do it. If Sombra wants a sounding board, Widow will get comfortable. If Sombra wants to fuck with Gabriel, Widow won’t snitch.

She fails, however, if Sombra needs anything close to emotional literacy. Sombra isn’t perfect either, she knows. She is painfully aware. 

Sombra is presumptuous and arrogant. Sombra asks for too much. She doesn’t care about Talon, and Talon is the reason for Widow’s existence. She makes everything a joke, just under half of which fly over Widow’s head. Flaunts what she has and what is wholly unattainable for Widow. 

It feels like a test of Widow’s compliance. Endurance, really. Certainly not love.

“Love can be about endurance.”

It can. Widow knows all these things could count. Should count, considering. But she wants to do better, be better. And she also doesn’t because she can’t and it’s unfair that she should be unhappy with herself for something she cannot fundamentally change.

She’s a bit resentful. She’s a bit tired. She’s a bit unhappy and a bit apathetic about all those things. Never a lot of anything. So, relatively speaking, it’s significant that she feels this way.

But then, full circle, it’s about endurance. She will endure those feelings. For Sombra.

Sombra who endures, always. Whose entire life has been about endurance. Does it as easily as breathing. Sombra is strong and smart, and those aren’t things Widow inherently likes about Sombra.

Widow likes the way those qualities make her life better. Sombra solves problems and does things for her.

If she loves Sombra, then it would be because Sombra loved her first. Does it the best because no one else loves Widow and there’s no competition, really.

And is that fucked up? Is that wrong?

Should she care? Liking someone because they like you doesn’t exactly measure up to terrorizing entire peoples, which she does for almost no money or other benefits other than her own enjoyment and a few more hours with Sombra which, again, is also for her own enjoyment.

Widow looks down at Sombra and thinks in cycles.

Her eyes are closed and she’s snoring, head in Widow’s lap. Widow cards her fingers through Sombra’s hair and feels heady with power.

If Widow could be a better person, she wouldn’t want to be, she doesn’t think. Except when it comes to Sombra. Because if Widow could love Sombra back, she would.