#hard to say im sorry chicago

[myimaginaryradio]

Hard To Say I'm Sorry - Chicago - 1982

[nolita-fairytale]

did you ever end up writing the phone call blurb?? i am STRUGGLING to find it and im so desperate 😭😭😭

called you again (extended)

a/n: ok so i never got to writing the actual phone call that transpires between carmy and reader, that gets her to chicago in the first place. and if i recall correctly, @cool-girl-is-hot was also patiently awaiting this phone call. since i'm doing the follower celebration, what a perfect time for me to bring this back, @bunnywritesmarvel.

You answer the call before you can talk yourself out of it, immediately putting it on speaker. 

“Hi,” you say, your voice shaking a little. 

And it’s as if a fog clears, like you've been waiting to hear it for a long time.

“Hi,” he replies, his voice soft, yet hesitant.

You're met with a long silence on the end of the other line as the two of you dance around whatever it is Carmy called to say. There's a part of you that wants nothing more than to spill everything, lead the conversation like you always do, but after months of radio silence, you know you can't do that. If Carmy wants to reconnect, then he's got a whole of groveling to do considering he pretty much ghosted you since he moved back home.

"I uh. I heard," he finally says, in reference to your recent change of employment.

"Oh," you sound, your voice higher in pitch than you imagined it would be as you scramble to find a better word than 'oh.' "I... um. Yeah. My heart wasn't in it anymore."

What you want to say is, my heart moved to Chicago and forgot how his fucking phone works.

"Yeah," Carmy replies, and you can practically hear him pacing back and forth as he searches for something to say.

You share another silence, this one much more tense than the last, like a hot pot of water about to blow its lid off in pressure, as you wait for him to ask you something -- anything. How hard could it be?

How are you? What's been going on? Sorry I haven't called.

But he doesn't say anything of these things. Instead, when he finally speaks again, all he says is:

"So listen. I uh-, I got this guy. He’s- he’s self taught but he’s got a lot of potential,” Carmy explains, his delivery becoming more and more confident as he hides behind the work.

“He just needs a good teacher – someone to inspire him – give him some of the foundations he would’ve gotten in culinary school. I think uh, I think you'd like him.

So after four months of no contact he... needs something from you? You can't help the feelings of anger and disappointment that grow inside of you.

Was he upset that you quit the restaurant -- here to talk you into going back -- now that he needed a favor? A stage?

“Just for a week, maybe?" Carmy suggests, his voice going up at the end, almost as if it's a question.

"I can’t pay you much but uh, well we’ve got a little money, which is a whole other story, and I can talk to my brother-in-law. He can put you up somewhere… you know… if you want to. If that helps.” 

Oh.

He's asking you to come to Chicago.

While it feels like it changes things, you're still ambivalent and you certainly don't want to get your hopes up.

"Carmy..." you trail off on an exhale. "I don't know."

"Sure," Carmy nods, chewing on his lip, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious about asking you in the first place.

He wants to take it all back, tell you it was a stupid idea, and apologize for even saying something in the first place. But he doesn't. He can't. Because after working himself up to call you for the last few hours, there's no way he's going to back out now.

Let it rip, Bear.

"I uh... well, I understand. If can't-. Don't want to. Maybe I shouldn't've uh..." Carmy stammers through, the heat rising to his cheeks.

"It's just uh. Tim told me... you might be looking for some inspiration."

Right.

You pause before asking:

"Can I... Can I think about it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sure," Carmy is quick to answer, because he really wants to make this okay for you.

For the both of you.

And because hearing your voice for the first time in four months feels better than he ever could've imagined.

"Okay. I'll uh... I'll think about it," you drag out, because you know you'll need some time to process this.

"Listen, I uh. I'm late to meet Liz. But I'll let you know. Either way."

"Yeah, okay. Okay," he answers, nodding eagerly.

"Okay," you reply, listening to Carmy bid you a soft spoken goodbye before ending the call.

"Holy shit," you hiss, putting your phone down on the table, your hand folded over your heart as you can feel it race.

Well, you've got quite the decision to make.

[ipseitydelrey]

Could you maybe do a fic about Carmy and the reader where they dated all through high school and carmy asked the reader to marry him and she says no bc she doesn’t want to hold him back from going to NYC ?

THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SORRY

as they go by ☆ c. berzatto

ship carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings angst with an ambiguous ending (sorry babes <3), slight manipulation?, a hell of a lot of arguing, possible break-up (choice is yours), not beta-read

word count 1.5k

summary initially, you were fine with having a long-distance relationship with carmy while he was in new york city. after all, you’re just his girlfriend; you were happy with that, and that’s how you want it to stay when he’s gone.

a/n this took so insanely and unnecessarily long and i am so sorry for postponing this fic. took a while and it was difficult to write, but i felt determined to finish this. disclaimer: not my best work but i legit tried

The proposal came as a shock. You were sure it had been many seconds, maybe even a minute or two since Carmy had uttered the words “Will you marry me?” as if it was a common phrase, thrown out into the open.

To be fair, you both did discuss the possibility of marriage in the future. But you were naïve high schoolers, merely seventeen and blind to the problems you’d have to face in your personal and shared lives.

You weren’t annoyed or angry that Carmy had gotten the opportunity in New York City; on the contrary, you were happy. It’s a great thing for his career in the culinary world, and seeing him be so excited about the prospect made you feel so proud to see how far he had come.

Granted, maintaining your relationship while he was in New York and you stayed in Illinois would be hard. You told him to expect a lot of phone and video calls, as well as a bombardment of messages, but you didn’t know at the time that he would be gone for a year at least. Still, you both agreed to try.

You could handle being a long-distance girlfriend, but being a long-distance wife?

“I don’t know,” you default to as no other words could come to mind.

Carmy looks at you confused. “You don’t know?” he parrots. “What do you mean?”

You open your mouth, but no words come out.; you don’t even know why you couldn’t just say a simple “yes” or “no.” It’s hard to look him in the eyes, especially when an argument is now inevitable, so you keep your eyes glued to your fidgeting hands in your lap.

“Well, um,” you stammer, struggling to find your verbal footing, “I don’t…wanna move to New York.”

Although you only see a blurred version of him through your peripheral vision, Carmy nods slightly and purses his lips. “I know that already.”

You sigh softly, thinking of what to say next. “I’m comfortable here — I like it in Chicago. It’s just…I don’t know if we can make a long distance thing work if we’re married. I’d be busy and I’m sure you would be too, I don’t know how we would be able to see each other in person if our schedules are so full.”

He sighs; you don’t know if this is actually how he feels, but you swear that he’s annoyed that you didn’t say yes. “Is that it? Y’know, I can just stay here if it worries you—”

“No,” you’re quick to cut him off as you snap your head to look at him. “I don’t want you to give up on an amazing opportunity just because of me.”

“There’s other Michelin star restaurants in Chicago,” he reasons. “I can apply to one of them and stay here.”

“But New York!” You didn’t mean to say it that harshly, so you breathe and try to regain your composure. “I don’t know why you would want to give up being a chef in New York just for me.”

Carmy buries his face in his hands, but his mouth is still exposed. “I’m not…giving it up; I’m just relocating, that’s all. Why are you trying to put my career ahead of you?”

You scoff at the notion. “I’m not.”

“But you are,” he counters exasperatingly. “Why?”

Your lips form a line and you look down. The words are hard to conjure, but they come eventually. “You’ve just loved to cook for so long…and now you have a really good offer and I want you to take it.”

“I’ve loved you for longer.” You can’t really argue when it’s kind of the truth. But then again, he’s always had a interest in cooking — and you’re sure that he developed an interest in you after that.

Knowing that you won’t win this portion of the argument, you sigh, and try to change the topic…sort of. “There’s also another thing,” you mention, and he looks at you again. “I don’t think I’m ready for that sort of thing.”

His tone has a tinge of frustration. “You mean marriage?” he asks sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You’re starting to grow annoyed at his stubbornness; of course you knew he could get like this, but he’s really not letting this conversation go for another day. “You know I didn’t mean like that.”

“Well it’s the implication.” The hell does implication have to do with anything right now? “You’re saying it like it isn’t important for our relationship.”

“You couldn’t have waited until you got back from New York to pop the question?”

“I’ve waited and I’m impatient.”

“Carmen.” The nickname is no longer effective. It’s clear to him now that you’re genuinely pissed with him and have had it. “You’re not listening to me; I’m not ready. Please drop it.”

“Last time we talked about this, you were excited,” he says. “What changed?”

“Well, for one, age,” you retort. “We were, what, seventeen? It’s just teenage talk, and we were too young to be thinking about marriage already.”

You tiredly sigh, looking down at your hands again. “There’s more, isn’t there?” He doesn’t ask it like a question, but instead he says it like a statement for you to confirm.

Hesitantly, you nod. “Just— I’m not ready now, but that doesn’t really mean that I don’t want to get married ever,” you try to grasp at any rational explanation you can, struggling to try to explain why. “If you loved me, then you’d wait, y’know.”

Your eyes shoot wide at the realization of what just slipped out of your lips; did you really just say that? It sounds as if Carmy is thinking that exact same question. “I didn’t mean—”

“You think I don’t love you?” His voice carries a sliver of anger and insecurity as he asks that.

“No, Carm—”

Your words force him to look away from you, his brows furrowed and his nose scrunched. He breathes once through his nose deeply before abruptly getting up from the couch and making a beeline towards the bedroom. Worried, you follow his path and find him harshly opening the closet door and pulling out an old suitcase.

You stand there, a few feet away from him, realizing what he’s doing. “Carmy—”

“You want me to drop it, I’m dropping it.” He doesn’t even so much as glance at you as he tosses the suitcase on the bed and starts to grabs his clothes. “You want me to go to New York, I’m taking the fucking offer. I know you don’t want me here anymore; that’s fine.”

“That’s not true.”

The way he packs is haphazard, rushed and angry; much like how he tends to cook when he gets too emotional. He doesn’t even take the time to fold some of the clothes, opting to instead stuff them in and hope they fit well enough to get the zipper closed. “You have all these excuses and you keep delaying it. It’s clear — you’re fine with marriage, but not with marrying me. You keep saying that you’re not ready, but you’re just too scared to say no. And now I have to do it for you.”

He does manage to close the suitcase and he’s fast to collect it and move past you. “Carm, please,” you turn to follow him, the initial annoyance from earlier flowing out of your body and being replaced with some sort of anxiety bubbling up in your stomach. “Let’s talk about this.”

“We did.” He’s white-knuckling the handle of the bag and he looks at you for only a second. You see a flash of anger, disappointment, and something else you can’t quite put your finger on in his eyes. He unlocks the front door.

“Carmen—”

And you’re interrupted by the abrupt slam of the door closing and the absence of him. Just like that, he’s gone; not even giving you a chance to change his mind or even explain what he means to you — what he meant to you.

You’re supposed to cry, but you can’t even try to force any tears out. You’re just numb and bewildered at how fast the situation unfolded.

You consider for a moment about chasing him like the end of an early 2000’s romcom, but you know that this isn’t like a movie. This isn’t fiction, it’s reality; he wouldn’t just accept you back into his arms like nothing happened, he’d be bitter and loathsome, even more so than he usually is.

You’re not sad. You can’t bring yourself to be sad over him, especially when he couldn’t try to understand how you felt. No, you’re…angry? Would that even be the right word for how you feel now that he’s gone?

You don’t need to think about that; you don’t want to right now. Instead, you drag yourself back to the couch where this all started and you fall onto its cushions, tired of him and tired of this.

The next step to take isn’t clear to you at the moment. You could call Carmy, you could wait, or you could not speak to him ever again. The choice is yours to make, but you don’t want to choose right now. Your eyelids grow heavy, and so you let yourself fall into a cold sleep.

would y’all want a part 2 or not? i’d only write it if y’all wanted it.

[breanime]

When Lip got home from work, the house was a mess. Frank was knocked out in the yard, smelling like a dumpster on fire in the Chicago summer heat, Fiona was passed out on the couch, a huge bottle of vodka cradled against her chest, Mickey, sporting a black eye, was smoking in the kitchen, not saying a word. Ian was sleeping in his bed wearing sparkly gold shorts, Debbie was awake and making spreadsheets for some reason, and Carl was sleeping in a broken down van with some random hood girl in the backyard.

A regular Gallagher summer.

Lip couldn't deal with any of it, once he checked on Liam--who was thankfully just playing video games under the bed--he went to sleep. You were in bed, and Lip wrapped his arms around you and joined you in your slumber.

You were gone when he woke up.

Donning a simple black tank top, Lip got up and made his way to the busiest place in the house--the kitchen. As he turned the corner through the living room and into the kitchen, he stopped at the sound of your voice, peering into the kitchen.

"--and Ian, if you don't take your meds, you know what happens. Come on, man, you were doing so good," you said, concern clear in your voice.

Lip heard Ian sigh before giving you a reluctant, but genuine, "I know... I'm sorry."

You had your hands on your hips when you turned to Mickey, "And you."

Mickey looked away, "I ain't do nothin'..." he murmured.

"You can't keep punching pervy old men," you continued, "Look at you. At least use a bat or knife, you know better."

Lip chuckled, crossing his arms as he listened in.

"FI!" You yelled, and Lip turned to see a grumbling Fiona descending the stairs into the kitchen. You stared at her, and she glared back. Lip watched from his spot in the doorway, wondering how this would go down. "Fi," you said, your voice softer.

Lip watched, surprised, as Fiona deflated.

"Yeah," she sighed out, nodding, "yeah, I know..."

You nodded, going over and giving her a hug. "Go back to bed," you said softly, "I got the kids. You rest up, and we'll talk later."

Fiona gave you a little smile and went back upstairs to rest and sober up, and you turned to address the others, "Ian, Mickey--you're going to clean the upstairs and both bathrooms," you turned your glare on Ian when he groaned, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Nothing. Yes, sergeant," Ian mumbled.

"Debs, you've got the kitchen. And you're in bed by 11 tonight," you put a hand up, "I don't want to hear it, bed by 11." Debbie sighed, but nodded her agreement. You turned to Carl, who was shoveling Poptarts into his mouth like a wild bear. "And you."

"Mmf?" He looked up, cheeks full of sugary pastry, and Lip couldn't help but laugh at the look on his little brother's face.

"I was dead tired last night, but I'm wide awake now. If you ever," you took a step towards Carl, who shrunk down in his chair in response, "sneak a girl into this house again, I will cut. It. Off. Do you understand me? Do your hoe shit at school or the park, but not here."

He nodded, eyes wide.

Lip couldn't take it. He laughed, turning his body to try to mask the sound, but there was no use. You turned and saw him, and you smirked at his obvious appreciation of your way of handling things.

"And you," you said, a hand on your hip as you looked at your man.

Lip raised an eyebrow, "Me?"

"Oooh, Lip's in trouble!" Carl chanted around a mouthful of food.

"Yeah, get 'im, Y/N!" Debbie added in, happy to be out of the hot seat.

"You," you went on, walking over to Lip, "Work too hard," you pulled him closer by the front of his shirt, "and you hog the covers," you grinned, stepping up and kissing him.

Ian, Debbie, Mickey, and Carl all booed at the show of affection, while Liam cheered you on. When you pulled back, Lip was grinning back at you.

"Won't happen again, boss," he promised, kissing you again.

You smiled, rolling your eyes, "Yeah, okay," you said back, not believing him in the slightest. You turned, pointing to the others, "Hey--this ain't a free show. You've got your orders, now move it. Chop chop, Gallaghers--and Milkovich."

The offending persons grumbled as they made their way to get their chores down, except Liam, who happily bounced up the stairs for some playtime, earned by his good behavior. You turned back to Lip, and he kissed you again.

"You know," he said, mouth still on yours, "I got in so late, barely had the energy to take my shoes off. Much less shower... So... How about we have some food, let Ian and Mickey get the bathroom clean, and then," he smirked, "I'll wash your back if you wash mine."

********************************************************************

Thank you for reading! Lemme know what you think! I feel like this one got a little long, haha!

[momentaryescape]

I'm Comin' Over

Jay Halstead x Reader Word Count: 853 Warnings: None Authors Note: This is the first of a One Chicago mini-series based on the "Im Comin' Over" album

 Jay was in the car before he even picked up the phone. He knew he shouldn’t, that after your last goodbye that should have been it. But no matter how many times he told himself not to, he would still drop everything for you. Neither of you could fully let go. He thought “to hell with closure” as he ran every red light he hit. Closure could wait, you needed him, and he needed you.

——————

You called him after a hard day working at Med with the patients of a massive incident that Intelligence had been called in on. Every time Maggie called out that a patient was coming in you were scared Jay would be the one on the stretcher. Will was the only one who knew that you and Jay had been together, and he knew by the look on your face what you were thinking. 

“He’s okay y/n. I just got off the phone with him, and he told me they were safe.” He gave you a nod before walking away to go check on more patients.

For the next god knows how many hours you and the rest of the ED helped patch people. Will kept you updated when he heard from Jay. You didn't know but he was also keeping Jay updated on you as well. You loved your job but on days like this one when there are more patients than you can count you get overwhelmed and never talk to anyone, knowing others have it worse. Jay was the only person who could get you to open up.

——————

When your name flashed on his screen he knew you needed him. This wasn't the first time one of you had called the other, but this was the first time it was for something neither of you could avoid.

“Hey y/n” His voice was soft.

“Hi, Jay. Do you uh..do you think you can talk to me? I need to talk to someone.” The sound of your voice reminds Jay of the night he would hold you as you let it all out. The times you would fall asleep and dream of what your future with him would look like before it was over.

“Always.” You broke down when he said that. “Today was rough, I uh…every time someone came in I was scared that it was you. That something happened and you were injured. But please Jay, I know moving on was getting closer, but I need you.” Your voice shook, trying not to cry.

“To hell with closure. You need me y/n. We can save it for another time.” You were his world, even if you weren’t his anymore.No matter what he would be there for you.

——————

When he knocked on your door you jumped. You had gotten off the phone with him when he was around the corner from your apartment. In the few minutes since the call ended, you had zoned out, replaying the day in your head on repeat. The fear you felt every time a new person was rushed in that it would be Jay. 

Opening your door you instantly fall into his arms. The mask you had been wearing all day was no longer on. He guided the two of you into the house, locking the door behind you before making his way to your couch. Sitting down next to you he wraps his arms around you pulling you into him. Neither of you talks, the only sound in the room is the soft sob you let out into his chest. Tears marking their presence on his shirt. Pulling you closer, he places a kiss on the top of your head. After a while you look up at him, breaking the silence. “I'm sorry for making you come all the way over here.” He shifts, causing you to sit up. He turns so you are sitting facing each other.

“You never have to apologize for calling me or needing me. You are the most important thing to me. I will always be there for you. Night or Day. No matter how many times we say it's over I will always say fuck the closure. We keep coming back to each other, the fear you had of me being rushed into the ED is the same fear I get every time a victim matches your description. I don’t want to pretend that I don't care about you and that I'm happy without you.” He lifts your chin so you are looking at him. “You are my everything y/n. If you’re willing, we can try this again. This time we can do it right.” Leaning forward, your lips meeting his. His hand moved to cup your cheek.

When you pull away you smile at him. “I love you, Jay Halstead. And I want nothing more than for you to be mine again. This time through thick and thin. I don't want to lose you again.”

“You never lost me y/n. I promise to love you till the end.” He says pulling you in for another kiss.

[sjhhemmings]

Evermore pt. 4

greg ‘mouse’ gerwitz x cassie voight OC

A/N: so there's going to be a little time jump to season 3 episode 11 of Chicago Fire where canonically Sylvie and Peter get kidnapped, Im thinking it’s still in about season 1 of PD though. I'm gonna change it a little bit so I hope it doesn't get too confusing...i'm going to try and stay as canon as possible but we'll see. Also don’t hate me for the timeline because I’m lowkey just as confused. (also idk why the spacing is weird, but i gave up trying to fix it.)

warnings: kidnapping, slight ptsd, swearing, violence.

word count: 4920

wattpad: sjhhoran

It's now been 3 months since Cassie's father, Hank Voight, has been out of prison.

Things at the firehouse have finally started to calm down, except for the fact that Gabby Dawson has now become a firefighter leaving Cassie on ambulance 61 with either Chout or McAuley until they find a replacement.

Despite Gabby's multiple attempts to assure Cassie it wasn't her fault that Gabby left, Cassie doesn't really believe it. However, Cassie is still proud of Gabby for pursuing her dreams either way. The talk they had a few weeks ago to clear the air and any hard feelings was...rough. To say the least.

Jay also took the job in intelligence under Cassie’s father so that was exciting.

Cassie is still shocked that Gabby didn't want to date Jay, he's a great guy. Not that Cassie would ever go for him, she's still his #1 wingman. Or woman. Wing-woman.

"Alright, everyone settle down. This is Sylvie Brett, she will be the new paramedic under Cassie." Boden announces at the morning briefing. Cassie sent a small wave to the new paramedic from where she was standing at the back of the room.

"Cassie is your PIC, anything you say or do on the job must go through her. Understand?"

"Yes sir." Sylvie said at the front of the room next to Chief Boden.

"Okay. That's all. Go out there, do your jobs and do ‘em good." Boden then said leaving the room before everyone else.

"Hi," Cassie said now walking over to her new partner.

"Hey, it's so nice to meet you, i've heard a lot." Sylvie said shaking the other paramedics hand.

"Thanks, it's nice to meet you too. I'm gonna say we should head over to the ambo to check inventory, is there anything you want to let me know before we start?" Cassie asks making Sylvie give her a questionable look.

"Yeah that sounds good. Would you be able to clarify what you mean by-"

"Ah, sorry. It's a force of habit with the rotators. I've been stuck with Chout for the last week and he's very...excited…like at all times. Then there was McAuley who was literally the embodiment of Debby Downer, I don't know I guess I was just asking if you were going to have some odd, personality thing that I would have to get used to." Cassie said chuckling as they make their way to the apparatus.

"Okay yeah that makes sense. Um I hope I don't have any personality thing, but if I do please feel free to let me know." Sylvie said chuckling nervously.

Smiling at Sylvie's innocence Cassie felt like they were going to be good partners.

"No complaints so far, I like you Brett."

After a few shifts of working together, Cassie and Brett felt like they fell into a pretty nice rhythm. It felt natural how well they communicated and worked together.

At the end of the last shift however, Cassie was visited by a victim's family member. A patient she had treated when she briefly worked with Peter Mills before he eventually left to work at his family's restaurant. The patient had passed before they arrived at the hospital, and the father was more than upset with Mills. Something that Cassie had no control over.

"I need to speak with you," Cassie heard the all too familiar voice of Anthony Lullo called out.

The memory of meeting with Peter and Chief flashed through Cassie's brain where Peter had convinced both of them that Anthony wouldn't be a problem anymore.

"Looking back I'm glad that I didn't file a police report on him. He's in deep grief, and he deserves a pass on this." Peter's voice flashed through Cassie's mind.

Deserved a pass her ass, but she wasn't going to undermine Peter. He trusted his gut, and she trusted him. So, here they were.

"Mr. Lullo, please, I'm sorry for what happened but I really need to get home." Cassie said as she walked past him to her car.

"You're going to regret that." Is all Mr. Lullo responded with before leaving.

"Hey Chief, I just wanted to let you know that Anthony Lullo made another visit to the firehouse after last shift. He said he needed to speak with me and when I continued walking saying I need to get to home he mumbled something under his breath. I don't really know what he said, but just thought you would like to know." Cassie said making a pit stop to Boden's office who gave her a reassuring nod before she left.

"Who's Anthony Lullo?" Sylvie asked when her and Cassie were doing inventory for the ambulance.

"How do you know who that is?" Cassie asked confused.

"He approached me when I was coming into work today, told me to tell you that you need to talk to him. I don't know, I was just confused." Sylvie said defensively not really trying to get on Cassie's bad side already.

Taking a deep breath Cassie looked at Sylvie.

"Anthony Lullo was a patient's father that ended up coding before we made it to the hospital. I haven't seen him in a few weeks but it was starting to become harassment with how much he was coming around the firehouse. He ended up threatening my old partner, Peter Mills. It was this whole situation. I don't know why he's back though." Cassie admitted making Sylvie nod her head in understanding.

A silence fell through the girls as they finished looking through the medications in the ambulance before a call came through the intercom.

"Ambulance 61. Injuries from a fall. 815 South Nebraska."

"That's around the corner," Cassie said as they hopped out from the back.

"Can I drive?" Sylvie asked making Cassie chuckle.

"Sure."

Pulling up to the scene, Cassie and Sylvie immediately jump out looking for the victim. When they finally found him on the side of the street Cassie looked at Sylvie.

"Where'd he fall from?" Cassie asked as she looked at their surroundings, no visible places for a fall.

"You fell, sir?" Sylvie asked as she was putting her gloves on.

"My legs, my legs!" The victim screamed.

"Okay, can you take some deep breaths for me?" Sylvie asked as she began examining him.

Cassie still looking around as to what could've caused this injury, she saw a dump truck down the road. Uncovering blanket from the man's legs she sighed.

"He didn't fall. He was run over." She said agitatedly getting up and calling into her radio.

Once they finished doing what they could, they strapped the now unconscious patient onto the gurney

"He passed out from the blood loss. Let's get him to Chicago Med." Cassie said as they were working on getting him into the ambulance.

Quickly grabbing both the girl’s attention, a car pulled into the alley blocking in the ambulance.

"Who's that?" Sylvie asked with Cassie immediately recognizing the car.

*6 hours later*

"Halstead. Thanks for coming. Nice to have somebody we could trust on this." Matt says greeting the detective.

"Absolutely. Still no word from your paramedics?"

"No."

"Dumb question, anybody try their cells?"

"Yeah. No answer."

Once the pair find their way to the ambulance Jay immediately starts getting suspicious.

"Were they dispatched to this location?" He asks, heart dropping at the realization.

"Yeah."

"This could've been a set up." He said turning around and immediately seeing the hula dancer on the dashboard of the ambulance. The one he got as a gift for Cassie.

"What the hell happened here..." He mutters.

*6 hours earlier.*

"Hey, guys, we got a medical emergency here. We're gonna need you to move the vehicle." Cassie announces at the men who just stepped out of their car.

"Hands in the air. Keep your mouths shut." One of the two say as they both raise their guns at the paramedics.

"Woah." Sylvie mutters earning a glance from Cassie.

"Turn around!" One of them shouts making the other instantly yell at him.

"Keep it down! Now turn around put your hands behind your back." He says more quietly turning Cassie roughly.

"This guy needs to get to the hospital!" Sylvie yells getting another glance from Cassie.

"Brett, Brett. Hey don't hurt her please." Cassie says as they make their way to the car away from the patient.

"What is this?!" Sylvie shrieks.

"This doesn't have to be messy, just do what we say." One of them says as they throw the girls into the car.

"Please, let her go. I'm the one that he wants!" Cassie yells.

"He? Who's he?" One of them says with a smirk slamming the door in their faces.

"Where are you taking us?" Cassie asks as one of the men starts patting her down in the backseat.

"Shut up!" The man says as he gets a little too grope-y.

"Where's your phone, hun?" The driver asks as he reaches over for Sylvie in the front seat.

"Left hand jacket pocket." Shes says quietly as he grabs it and chucks it out the window.

"God, why did I have to be stuck with the grabby one." Cassie says looking at the man with a gun to her head.

As he pushed it farther into her temple she winced at the familiar feeling.

"Look, Jason Lullo sustained fatal injuries long before we arrived at the scene!" Cassie says earning an eye roll from the driver.

"Don't know what you're talking about. Just keep quiet now." He says as he continues driving recklessly.

"You gonna kill us?" Cassie quietly asked as she looked the man in the eye through the rear view mirror.

"You know everything is that it?" He asks with a smirk.

"Brett." Cassie quietly says as she looks out the window.

"Quiet!" The man with her said as he shoved the gun farther into her head.

"Brett, brace yourself." Cassie says before head butting the gun out of the man's hand and kneeing him in the face. Quickly kicking him in the groin after, Cassie moved over in the seat she wasn't buckled into and kicked the driver in the side of the head. Keeping her foot against his throat, this caused the driver to spin the wheel uncontrollably, inevitably crashing into a random scrap yard and making contact with a trailer trapping them inside.

*6 hours later*

Eventually finding the car, Jay and Cruz immediately get out to check it out. The thoughts running through Jay's head have him trembling more than he ever has on any case he’s worked before.

"Hey, this is Detective Halstead of intelligence, I'm gonna need you to run an Illinois passenger tag." Jay says into his phone watching Cruz check the car.

"Halstead...We got nothing. Car's empty. Looks like everyone made it out." Cruz says making his way back to the Detective.

"This happened hours ago. If Lullo's got them, they're dead!" Cruz says spinning out.

"Don't assume anything." Jay says trying to cover up his anxiety so he doesn't freak Cruz out any more.

"The hematoma's recollecting!" Cassie says looking at the driver's wounds.

"I thought you fixed him!" The other man says pointing a gun at the two.

"He needs medical attention." Sylvie says with attitude.

"Isn't that your job!?"

"Hey, we're paramedics, not doctors. You need to get him to an ER now." Cassie shouts back.

"This is your fault anyway, with that smart-ass stunt. Fix him, or i'll put a bullet in your head." The man says pointing the gun at Cassie again.

"This lump on your buddy's neck is due to internal bleeding. As it grows it presses on his trachea and that's what's causing the difficulty in breathing. It's only going to get worse!" Cassie says back to the man.

"So cut it open again!"

"That's only a temporary fix!" Sylvie now says butting herself into the conversation.

"Look. He's going to die unless we get this bleed tied off. We need to get to the hospital." Cassie says to the gunman.

"Might as well waltz into a police station!" The gunman says turning away from them.

"No hospitals." The driver on the make shift table mutters.

As his phone starts ringing he hands it to the other gunman.

"Don't answer it. Not if we're giving him bad news." He says obviously in pain.

"C-can't you guys tie off the bleed?" The very stressed out gunman asks.

"No," Sylvie says but not before Cassie says maybe.

"What? Cassie that's surgery."

"Look, if we do this, will you let us go?" Cassie asks looking at the guy.

"Okay. Deal." The gunman says walking off as he answers the second phone call.

"So this is what we think Cassie and Brett were in?" Gabby says looking worriedly at the car Cruz and Jay found.

"Yeah." Matt says sorrowfully as he opens the very, very, torn up door.

"Jay." She says as Detective Halstead made his way over to where she was standing.

"Gabby." He greets back.

"We gotta find them." She says looking at Halstead.

"We're uh, we're trying." He says almost breaking.

"Guys, I got some blood here!" Severide yells out pointing at the driver seat.

"Okay, at least one occupant is injured. Maybe they didn't get too far.” Jay says taking a step back to think.

“Okay, come here, everyone. Now!" Jay yells gesturing at the surrounding cops and firefighters.

"I want a tight perimeter, I want a K-9 unit, and I want a door to door search of the entire neighborhood. If you see anything that you think might be out of place, I want to hear about it." He says sending them off to their assigned tasks.

"Jay." Gabby says approaching him again.

"Hm?"

"She's my friend too. We'll find her." She says squeezing his shoulder reassuringly getting a tight lipped nod in return.

"Knife." Cassie says taking the blade from Sylvie and pressing it to the driver's neck.

Quickly pulling a gun on her she takes a step back.

"Hey! If you want me to do this, set the gun down now." She shouts a little startled.

As the other gunman takes the gun from the driver's hand, he sets it on a nearby surface.

"Okay. This is going to hurt, a lot. But I'm gonna do it fast. Kay?" Cassie asks getting a nod.

As Cassie made the incision on the driver's neck, she quickly turns around to set the blade down and grab something to use as a clamp.

"Hey, hey, that was the easy part okay?" Cassie says coming back and looking at the incision as he passed out from the pain.

"Hey, hey! What the hell did you guys do, what happened to him!?" The gunman yelled earning glares from both the paramedics.

"He passed out from the pain." Sylvie said now looking back down at the patient.

"Clamp it right here." Sylvie said looking at Cassie as she pointed to his carotid artery.

"You do realize what that will do right?" Cassie whispers with wide eyes.

Glancing down at the bloody table, Sylvie wrote 'Let him die.' in the man's blood.

After deliberating for a few seconds, Cassie shakes her head no and clamps the bleed. Looking back at Brett who scribbled out the words, Cassie gave her a specific look.

"Why so quiet?" The gunman asked.

"I uh, I'm clamping it off now." Cassie says as she took the blade out of the exacto knife they had and handed it to Brett.

"Okay, we're going to need to find someone to suture him up but he should be fine. Cassie says stepping away.

"You. Come here." The gunman says grabbing Brett's arm and taking her across the room.

"Hey! Wait! We had a deal, I need her!" Cassie says yelling at the man.

"I need to make sure he's okay first." The gunman says as he zip ties Brett's hands together.

As the man starts waking up, Cassie finishes putting some gauze his wound.

"See? All good." Cassie says looking at him.

"We'll see." The gunman says.

"The deal was, we fix him up and you let us leave!" Sylvie yells. Loud enough for Detective Halstead who's outside the door to hear. Something they're unaware of.

"I know what the deal was!" The man yells back.

"We gotta go now and the doors bolted, can you guys get us in!?" Jay yells at Casey who is already radioing for Severide.

"You said you'd rein in your partner, so how about it?" Brett yells as she secretly cuts the zip tie off her hands.

"Will you shut up!" He yells as he gets ahold of Cassie and holds a gun to her head.

"I knew we couldn't trust you two." Sylvie mutters as she finishes getting the zip tie off her hands.

"Drop the gun." Sylvie says catching the driver's , the gunman's, and Cassie's attention with the driver's gun in her hands.

"I said drop it!"

With a nod from the driver, the gunman shoots at Sylvie but not before Cassie moves his arm out of the way so the bullet catches the floor. As he fights back and fires again, Cassie is still holding his arm so his aim is off.

With his other arm that had a hold of Cassie, he lets her go to elbow her in the nose. Once he drops his elbow, Cassie punches the guy in the face. She then knocked him on his ass after he catches a kick in the balls.

As Cassie gets away to grab Brett, he continues firing at the paramedics.

Fleeing into another room and locking the door, Sylvie looks around to see that they're trapped.

"Shit." She mutters as Cassie blocks her from the bullets flying through the door.

"Stay behind me." Cassie says as she grabbed a metal pipe, preparing for when he breaks into the room.

Once he does the door flies off the hinges, and all of their attention's turn to the next sound.

"Chicago PD! Don't move, drop your weapon! Do it now!" Jay yells as they charge into the warehouse.

Watching as the gunman put his hands up surrenderence, Jay continues making his way to the gunman.

"Put your weapon down, get down on the ground. Now! Hands up behind your head!"

"Voight! Brett!" Casey yells as the girls make their way back to the other side of the door.

"We were in here." Sylvie says making her way through the door first, Cassie quickly following behind as she dropped the pipe and clutched her nose up. Probably broken.

"Anyone hurt?" Casey asks.

"Not me, Cassie got an elbow to the face though." Sylvie says breathing heavily.

"Sylvie!" Cruz says running up to her and pulling her into a big hug.

"Cassie," Jay says softly looking at his best friend once he got cuffs on the bad guy.

Basically falling into Jay's arms, Cassie quickly forgot about her nose.

"Hey, hey, hey, you're okay. Shh, you're okay." Jay said brushing his hand through the back of her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Hey Cass." Gabby said making her way over to the girl.

As she pulled away from Jay's chest, she didn't leave his grasp as his hand still rested on her hip.

"Hey," she said pretty nasally as the Gabby pulled her into a hug of her own.

"Some pretty good partner bonding, huh?" Gabby asked making her chuckle.

"I'm glad you're okay." Casey finally says patting her on the back.

"Thank you, guys." Cassie said turning back to Jay.

"You need to go to the hospital." He said looking at her eyes that are already turning black and blue, along with her swollen nose.

"What? You calling this ugly?" She asked teasingly as they started walking out of the warehouse.

"No, no, just. Colorful?"

Playfully hitting him in the chest with a shocked expression, Jay quickly told another cop to take the perp in to the station and that he was going to go to the hospital with Cassie.

"So, your nose is pretty broken. If you look here, there's a slight fracture. We're gonna tape some gauze around it. Make sure you keep it on for the next 12 hours and rewrap it every 8-12 hours, for the next 48. It should heal in no time, make sure you ice it and take some pain meds." Doctor Rhodes explained to both Jay and Cassie in the trauma room.

"So i'm good to go?" She asked a little impatiently.

"Uh, yes. Maggie is getting your discharge papers now, but I do want to take a look at this hand." He said lightly grabbing her hand and examining her swollen knuckles. Sending butterflies through her stomach too.

"Oh, no, it's fine. I just ice it with pain meds and the swelling usually goes down within 24." Cassie said smiling and making a fist and opening her palm a few times in a row.

"Hm. Okay," Connor said sighing and looking between Cassie and Jay. "I'll get those papers to you. It's nice to see you're okay Cassie. Really." He finished with a warm smile and walking out of the room.

Jay quickly looked at Cassie's blushing face and starts laughing.

"You like him!" Jay teased making her blush harder.

"I do not!" She yelled back hitting him lightly.

"No, no, you like him like him, don't you?" Jay continued earning an eye roll.

"Okay so what if I do. I see him when I bring patients in sometimes...drop it." She said looking away.

"Okayyy." Jay said all sing-song-y making her roll her eyes again.

"Knock knock." her father said walking into the room.

"Hey, thanks for staying with her but you can leave now. Brett is down at the station but i'm gonna need you to question this Anthony Lullo when Cassie gets down there." He said looking at Jay earning a nod.

"I'll see you later." Jay said with a tight lipped smile as he walked out.

"You okay?" Voight asked making her nod.

"Yeah, all good. Fractured my nose, but I think I did the same to him plus some manhood damage." Cassie said making them both chuckle.

“I apologize for not being here sooner. Alvin and I were picking up the guys from the warehouse and finding Lullo. I have a question for you though.”

“What is it?” Cassie asked.

“How about you come stay with me for the next few weeks. You know, until this whole thing blows over and we know you’re safe.”

“What? You’re kidding right?” Cassie said laughing at his offer.

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” Hank asks crossing his arms over his chest.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Cassie says hopping off the trauma bed and grabbing her things.

“Look, you thought this thing ended what, three? four weeks ago? Then look at what happened today. Just until it blows over? Okay?”

Without saying anything Cassie just looks at her father and stares.

“Okay?” He asks again.

“No, not okay. Jay literally lives across the hall from me. If anything happens, I’ll be fine. I know self defensive, I can hold my own.” Cassie says defensively walking out of the trauma room.

Signing the discharge papers at the nurses desk, Cassie walked out of the hospital with Voight quick to follow.

“Can you please just listen to me on this?” Voight asked opening the passenger side door for Cassie.

“No.” Cassie then said slamming it once she got in.

“I’m gonna go downstairs with Alvin, I’ll meet you guys upstairs with Jay and Anthony. You and Sylvie will be on the other side of the mirror.” Hank said kissing Cassie’s temple as they both walked into the 21st.

“Who’s downstairs?” Cassie asked knowing what he’s going to do.

“Guys who like holding female paramedics hostage in a warehouse.” He said walking off.

“Cassie. Nice to see you again.” Trudy said greeting Cassie.

“Hey sarge. So since i’m a civilian now aren’t you supposed to have someone walk me to the interrogation room?” Cassie teased once she got to the sergeant’s desk.

Sighing, Trudy removed her reading glasses and looked at the girl.

“That was supposed to be your father’s job. I’ll do it though. Yo chump! Watch the desk until I get back.” Trudy says coming around and showing Cassie to a room she knew all too well.

“We have numerous witnesses saying they saw you make a serious threat against Peter Mills. Then showed up again to talk to Cassie Voight.” Cassie heard Jay say once she walked on the other side of the glass.

“My son was dead. I was upset.” says Anthony.

“Yeah, that certainly squares with the eyewitness statements. ‘Mr. Lullo was livid.’ , ‘Full of rage.’ , ‘Frothing at the mouth.’” Jay finally said setting the paper down in front of Lullo.

“Look, I went over there and I apologized to Peter Mills, and he accepted my apology. He’s a good kid.”

“But what about the part where you visited Cassie Voight? Multiple times, even after Peter Mills had stopped working at Firehouse 51.” Jay asked.

“I don’t understand what’s going on here. I thought you caught the men that took those paramedics?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Jay said smiling at the man.

“Cassidy ignored my invitation to talk. Nothing happened since.” Lullo says sitting back into his chair.

“But why did you want to talk Cassie? I thought your issue was with Mills?” Jay asked trying to agitate him.

“Yes, but Cassie knew more.” Lullo muttered.

“What do you mean Cassie knew more?” Jay pressed.

“Nothing.”

“Oh c’mon Anthony. What did Cassie know?” Jay asked trying to poke the bear further.

“Cassie knew how slow she drove killing my son. Cassie knows that she is the cause of his death.” He admitted

“Your son was already dead by the time we got to the scene. We just prolonged how long it was before the inevitable happened, which was his heart stopping due to blood loss.” Cassie yelled as she bursted into the interrogation room, startling both Jay and Lullo.

“I don’t think she’s allowed in here detective.” Lullo said looking at Jay.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”Jay said covering for Cassie.

“Your son died due to his injuries. There was nothing we could do, but you need someone to blame. Is that it? Pointing a finger at someone that’s not you, or your kid?” Cassie asked trying to piss the man off.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lullo said chuckling and looking away.

“I think I do. Because if I didn’t, you wouldn’t be deflecting right now. If I didn’t you would still be pretending that you’re content with the fact it wasn’t one person’s fault that your kids dead.” Cassie said matter of factly.

When she didn’t get a response she scoffed.

“So you’re okay with that? That no one killed your son, and it was just his injuries? Oh c’mon. You need someone to blame. To fill your urge and get revenge. That someone killed him and they need to pay. Right?” Cassie asked.

“You killed him! If anyone killed my son it was that bitch! She was the one driving!” Lullo yelled surprising everyone.

“Your son was already dead before we even arrived at the hospital! It had absolutely nothing to do with my driving, and everything to do with the fatal injuries he sustained.” Cassie yelled back at the man not knowing how many times she could repeat herself over this matter.

“You all say that, but if you drove faster, he would’ve made it to the hospital, and he would’ve lived!” Anthony said standing and pointing at Cassie.

“Is that why you stalked me then? It was never about Mills was it? It was about the fact that I didn’t drive fast enough. So you stalked and harassed me, then hired someone to take me out?” Cassie pressed causing him to basically fume from the ears.

“Yes! You deserved to know what it was like to ride half alive while the person who was supposed to be helping you couldn’t care less about getting you help!” Lullo yelled.

“So you ordered a hit on me?” Cassie asked again. Waiting for the confession.

“Yes!” He seethed earning a content smile from Cassie.

“Jay, I believe you can handle this from here.” Cassie said walking out of the room.

Later on once they officially arrested Lullo and everyone was gathered in the bullpen, Cassie decided to stay behind and talk to her father.

“Hey, we wouldn’t have gotten him if you didn’t intervene. Good job, Cass.” Jay said patting her on the back.

“Jay, Cassie, my office.” Hank announced earning a confused look from the both of them.

“Uh oh, principal’s daughter called to his office?” Antonio joked getting an eye roll in return.

“I watched what happened.” Hank said as they shut the door.

“What do you mean?” Cassie asked confused.

“I mean I saw you get the confession from Lullo. I want you to know, I get that you didn’t like being a patrolmen. But, when I give you this offer you need to think about it from a detective’s perspective. You have all the training, you would even be able to start tomorrow. You have the balls. We need you. Cassidy, do you want to join intelligence?” Hank asked making her jaw drop.

tagging: @rockyhayzkid

[bailaconox]

Seeing OMEGA X in JERSEY CITY and CHICAGO - Nov. 23 to Nov. 27, 2023

I... I don't even know where to begin. Being able to post this is unbelievable. I met OMEGA X... twice? I saw them in concert this weekend... twice! I was the happiest I have ever been in my whole entire life during those shows. I couldn't stop smiling. My face genuinely hurt from laughing so hard in Chicago. It felt like home.

FOR X and OMEGA X are my home.

1. My snapshots and signed album from VVIP Jersey City. Rip to me in Sebin's snapshot.. also kinda rip to me in Hyuk's too... the rest I think I look cute in!!! ALSO I KNOW HANGYEOM'S POLA HAS A DEFECT BUT I DIDNT NOTICE IT TILL LATER AND IM JUST THANKING EVERY GOD IN THE SKY THAT ITS ON MY FACE AND HIS LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. and 3. My only two snapshots in Chicago 🥲 I LOOK SUPER CUTE IN THESE THOUGH AND SO DO THE BOYS!!!!! Rip to my last words to Kevin though.. "I'm sorry" ??????

4. MY CANADIAN FOR X FLAG THAT I FOUND THREE (3!!!!!!) OTHER PEOPLE TO SIGN 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 Besties I love you all so much and I'm happy the boys saw the flag 🙏💖🇨🇦

5. Aha.. anyone remember me joking about getting Hangyeom's handwriting tattooed on me..? Well... I did zero vetting of this place and didnt read a single review and just picked it bc it was closest to the boba shop BUUUUUUUUT Sido Tattoo ilysm for doing this last minute 🤧🙏 Absolutely perfect experience and flawless job, the artist was so nice and I got to watch One Piece and talk about OX so 1000000% recommend. Loved it.

6. Is it even an OMEGA X concert if you don't walk home with an arm full of bracelets?

7. Look between Jaehan and Yechan for that Canadian FOR X flag 🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣 That's me!!!!!!! Front row for OMEGA X 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

I miss it so much already and there's so much I could talk about and I will but not right now!! I'll end this post by just saying..

Thank you OMEGA X for being strong and for showing me what this has all been for. This is everything to me... my soulmates... 0.1 하자

[zombiiegrr]

HEYY! okay so this is my first time literally ever ask for a request but why not haha:)

okay so I was thinking if shuri being really busy and not showing much attention to the reader and the reader understanding she’s just busy and being the new black Panther is hard and stuff but even after asking shuri for a little time she kinda ignores her sooo (SORRY IM LITERALLY JUST WRITING IT ITS A BIG REQUEST) and then the reader decides to post a picture shuri wouldn’t “approve” of🤭 (can be a big angsty but omg smut pleaseeeee)

THANK YOU SO MUCH i was dying for some requests and to have someone put one like this in is amazing I'm a sucker for any kind of jealously and i love possessive stuff so let's get this show on the road!! I am going to change this a bitttt tho hehe I hope thats okay (I can always rewrite)

CW: smoking (weed) , a bit of arguing (reader and Shuri) , a lot of edging, Light degradation.

tags!!!: @luffyinlove @marvelsqrande @shurisblkwife @t-candy @noneofyabuisnezs @ziayamikaelson

Attention Seeker. (Shuri x Fem! Reader)

Shuri was busy, everyone in Wakanda knew that. She was queen, and black Panther she had shit to do and so did you but you always seemed to finished before she did walking around your own lab while looking up at Shuri in her lab walking back and forth getting stuff for different tables trying to put everything that she had been thinking onto a table so she could truly see what she was thinking even thought this always took the most time up for her. You almost never spent any time together anymore.

"Shuri?" you asked hesitantly while walking up the stairs to her lab from your own. She didn't even spare you a glance in fact she just kept working you weren't scared of her but a bit scared of disrupting her peace because no matter what or how stressed she looked you knew nothing brought her more peace than her work.

You didn't want to give up on talking to her or at least saying goodnight and asking if she would please come to bed with you. You sucked it up because you were her love, she would never hurt you

"Shuri my Love please, let us rest together I don't mind waking up with you and coming back to work later but for now let us rest " you get closer as you requested her to join you to rest but she was moving by the way she looked back at you, I don't think you were going to enjoy her reply

"Can't you see me working?" she is blurting out while slightly pushing you to the side not enough to hurt or do anything to really push you

"Woah, lets track back. There was no reason for you to talk to me like that, clearly i asked if we could rest together yes, I see you are working but I want you to rest" you were always calm with Shuri, but you weren't going to take her being disrespectful words to you which was extremely rare. Seeing as she had nothing but love and respect for you.

Shuri knew you were right, but she was tired, petty and just wanted to work until she passed out that's when she really worked her "best"

"Just get out y/n" ouch. get out? you weren't trying to be oversensitive she just had never spoken to you this was she might have asked you to leave a few times but telling you to get out? No, that wasn't your Shuri

You knew no more words could be spoke between the two of you for the rest of the night and because ever since you were taught to never go to sleep mad at each other you said you I love You's but didn't apologize because this wasn't your fault, but you couldn't just let this go to avoid an argument you decided to be petty but in your own way

When you got back into your room you pulled out your phone you had used sparingly when you had started living in Wakanda except the pictures you took of the city and Shuri

You dilled up Riri not thinking of the timing difference in Wakanda and Chicago, but you would see! "YO MY GIRL what's up!!" There she was Riri Willimas she reminded you of your teen years living back home running from the Avengers trying to force you into a teen training Crap while you just wanted to get rid of your gifts and be normal but also successful showing how a Strong women could really be.

"Thank the ancestors you're awake " A saying you had adapted from literally everyone and after learning everything you could about Your wife's home.

"yeah, up working! But no way you called to watch me work what's up? " Riri lightly yelled as she walked away from the camera. You didn't know how to ask her this, you know she knew a lot of people because of her "job" and wouldn't put you anywhere unsafe so what was the harm of asking if she was willing to take you and ONLY you to a party. She knew nothing got under Shuri's skin then going to events without her, without the black panther.

"Wanna take me to a party?" Yes! you loved you way you asked that even if you were expecting so many questions and maybe even a no.

"Word? We got one tonight at destiny's it's just going to be her, her dance team which is like 6 of them a few of the players and me well ofc!" that sounds nothing closer to perfect you agreed and then she started asking the questions. "Not that it matters because you're coming either way, why without Shuri?" she asked the question that really mattered off the bat!

"Oh, well that's a long story and this party is meant to be a getaway please don't ask" Riri wasn't going to pry any longer she was just happy to be with you again even if it would be better with all of you.

Fast forward a few hours you texted Riri you would be on your way just needed to get out of Wakanda without the alerting of Shuri. As petty as it was you were deciding if you wanted to leave your beads to prevent Shuri from finding you, it was dumb yes, but you would not be dumb enough to completed disappear and scare her like that you would bring your beads but leave them in Riris dorm.

It was hard but you got out of Wakanda extremely surprised a angry Shuri or Okoye didn't come after you on the ride there you took pictures of your outfit and everything else outside the window when getting into Chicago and when getting into Riris dorm bring her into the biggest hug like you hadn't seen her in forever.

"You look so good; I'm blow away Shuri let you leave the house" This made you giggle knowing what you knew about the whole Shuri thing. you sat on Riris bed waiting and listening to her talk about what she's been up to and what she was thinking and even working on. After a while of talking, she looked at the time changed a bit and told you it was time to go

"Wow Shuri actually hasn't found me yet." you thought to yourself while on the way to the small party.

Back with Shuri.

It wasn't that she didn't notice in fact if she did you probably wouldn't have made it to the party, nor out of Wakanda she was working when Groit was tried to alert her of your leaving before she shut him up not wanted to be disrupted just to keep working for another hour.

"Groit, can you ask Okoye to bring Y/N to my lab" A apology was in order and fast. Groit answered explaining how around a hour and a half he had attempted to inform her of plans of your departure, and it had been 5 hours since you had left. He quickly explained you were at a party with Riri which calmed her nervus but only a bit

"Do you want to see pictures of y/n at this party?" Groit asked. Shuri wasn't going to waste time, but she would lie if she didn't say she didn't want to see the pictures. Giving her a quick look at everyone there and how you looked. " How?" she questioned which he told her about to the quick social media search he had done quickly for her.

You looked cute she wasn't going to lie but either way the shit you were wearing wouldn't even be on for long. As Groit kept going through pictures it looked like you got more comfortable and more lose she wasn't mad until she noticed others around you were noticing too, I mean you were breath taking what did she expect? As videos played and your giggles grew, she couldn't bare it anymore.

"Can you provide a location of this party?" Shuri was proud of the AI she created when he pulled up the address as she asked quicker than she expected but not surprised she was the one who made him. She hadn't planned on going to her first American party upset or not even jealous, but you had made other plans for her.

Back at the party

You were having so much fun seeing as you had not been around so many new faces in a while, you weren't going to lie and say you weren't a little scared of being gone this long without letting Shuri know. But you knew it was just a matter of time before she found you.

"Wanna Smoke? " One of the dancers asked you before Riri spoke up to say no for you

"Nah Riri, it wouldn't be my first as long as y'all don't record or anything you know" Everyone collectively agreed especially the athletes and dancers.

After Two Blunts You could hear Riri talking with someone outside sounding concerned and trying to be loud enough to us to hear and clear the room of smoke which is what you and everyone else with sense thought and after slightly rushing to help you noticed that voice anywhere was slowed but also rushed your clearing. Shuri had smoked with you before and even grew some shit to show you Wakanda could do it better (They could) so you weren't scared shed find you smoking just she didn't like you smoking anything she hadn't grown for you including the adorable bong she created for you watching too much American tv about smoking and hiding for everyone making it for you

There's no way she'd walk in with a room full of people being the whole QUEEN of Wakanda but sometimes you questioned if you just forgot who you were dating.

"Shur- okay." Riri attempted to stop her before walking into the weed smelling room and seeing you sitting in-between two people too close for comfort.

Everyone started quietly fangirling while you didn't break eye contact with her. Her eyes screamed at you to get up and come with her and you weren't going to say no. You excused yourself, hugged up Riri promising to hang out with her for real as soon as possible which you knew Shuri would come with.

Shuri said her goodbyes to Riri grumbling about her coming to visit after dealing with you.

The ride home wasn't as quick as it normally felt. It wasn't quick you just had always enjoyed the ride home.

You could feel her eyes like knifes as she looked at your slightly high state. Something about this fear turned you on the way she was sitting while looking at you. "Was it fun?" her voice cut into the silence as you looked up quicky

You nodded your head and looked down again just to hear footsteps coming closer and closer to you. "I'm sorry. Telling you to get out? What was I thinking. I'm sorry I didn't just go to bed with you avoiding this whole thing." An apology was not you thought you were going to hear when she spoke holding your face in her hands and before you could reply apologizing for your behavior as well, she continued to speak

"But. I can't let this go y/n. Sneaking out? Not telling me? Thinking Leaving your beads in Riris dorm wasn't going to make me find them? Silly girl. I'm going to have so much fun punishing you, you won't have the strength to sneak out again for a week." as she said this, she stuck her fingers in your mouth while slowing zipping down your dress

"Matching underwear? Cute, what did you know I was going to punish you for this? How pathetic all this all because you wanted me pay attention to you. Oh, my love you got my attention." Shuri had a dirty way with words she knew how to push those buttons and knew what made you absolutely weak

She was in your underwear after she had denied your orgasm 4 times. At this point you were spewing out apologies and begs as she ignored and mocked you. She was cocky you wanted nothing more than to cum then touch her but she wasn't going to let you ether this was punishment Afterall she wasn't going to give in no matter how much she wanted to see you cum.

"Aw baby whose fault is this?" She fingered you with your needy clit in her mouth while teasing and bullying you. She did this all the way to Wakanda leaving you flustered and needy almost shaking from the amount of edging that had been done. She covered you up while you entered Wakanda even if anyone could see you, she wanted you easy to touch when you made it back to your room. Okoye welcomed you in not noticing anything.

You both walked a bit fast you went straight to the room laying on the on the edge of crying again if she didn't do something

she laughed at the doorframe calling you dirty before pulling you to the end of the bed

"Did you learn? As my princess you don't sneak out to silly American parties and smoke that disgusting American stuff when, I secretly grow that for you here." you were nodding in agreement while listening and slowing undressing

she put her hands right back into your underwear tease and driving you crazy again but this time when you close, she didn't stop.

"You have been such a bad girl. I'm only letting you cum because I can tell how bad you clearly need me to make you cum. Can't even take a punishment from me." she watched as you face locked with hers as you made you way to finally cumming. Even after you came, she didn't feel done

"Shuri Wait, fuck I just came please." you said as your whole body started to shake from the overstimulation

She laughed at that comment seeing as you spent the only time begging to cum, she mentioned that which caused a whimper from you while she slowed and kissed your forehead while you came down from the high from everything

she showered you in praises as your body finally claimed down.

"What about you baby?" you finally said after some water and a little cuddling she looked at you with a soft smile and whispered in her ear saying you just owed her (part 2? ;)

"Rest baby. I promise I will too in a few minutes" as you hear this you drifted off thinking of the ways you were going to pay her back and how you were the luckiest women on this earth.

end?

OH MY GOD SOOOOOOOO how did i do??? FEEDBACK IS LIKE LOVED!!!!!!!!!! this took me 2 hours please let me know ifs this is cringey or anything

[swiftfootedachilles]

Hi! You asked for an ask and I’m always down to ask so…do you have any headcanons about Mickey’s time in Mexico?

wow you managed to ask me about the only thing of this show that i HAVENT rlly thought about so hats off to you

uhhhh okay first, PRE-MEXICO. i think mickey broke out in the first place because he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him. i think if ian didnt break up with him and dedicated himself to being a prison boyfriend (?) mickey wouldve stayed in. (i also think he wouldve found a skeevy defense lawyer who owes the milkoviches some debts and appealed his conviction bc lets be honest its total bullshit that he got locked away just based off sammi's unreliable testimony. like where the fuck was debby to lie under oath and say mickey was with her the whole time and she saw sammi take more pills than usual and go outside to move things. sorry im losing the plot this is NOT the time to discuss my s6 rewrite.) mikey haf absolutely no reason to stay in prison, stay in chicago, so i think after nearly 2 years of no visits from ian he just gave the fuck up. why not try to escape? hes smart, he can conjure up a decent plan, right? worst case scenario he goes back to prison, which didnt really fucking matter to him bc he was in prison anyway and he just. didnt care anymore.

so, he broke out and contacted ian ina last-ditch effort to get the love of his life back. he knew ian wasnt gonna wait for him, but at the docks hes obviously still shocked to hear ian moved on fast enough to have a boyfriend already. then ian agreed to go to mexico and mickey was SO READY to start LIVING HIS LIFE. he thought that would be IT. him and his lover in mexico at the beach, getting away from all the bad memories of chicago and having a place to START OVER!!! then ian changed his mind last minute and mickey was fucking CRUSHED. AGAIN. and all of a sudden now hes in mexico alone and all his previous plans went out the fucking window because he totally didnt spend the past few days rearranging his plans to revolve around ian being with him.

i dont really think a lot about mickey's time in mexico. i think he was sad. i think he was angry. i think he just did what he could to stay alive and try to move on but he never really didnt. i think he kept his head low and did his job in the cartel and tried to learn spanish but it was too fucking hard so he gave up on that pretty quickly and attached himself to the multilingual members of the gang. i definitely dont think he had a boyfriend. im sure he fucked around with other guys, but i also think he spent more time laying in his shitty apartment that he shared with like 4 other guys trying not to cry too loud thinking about what could have been.

i also dont think he worked for el chapo lmfao sorry to anyone who thinks that but the timeline doesnt even line up. and if he somehow did have a part in taking down el chapo he wouldve been put in witness protection. he probably wouldve gotten killed anyway tho

my dumb ass didnt realize he got a new tattoo until like deep into s10 and i gaslit myself into thinking it was always there LMFAO but i love that he got another tattoo there. i like to think this one was with a clean needle. i dont think this happened in canon, but MY mickey wouldve gotten a tongue piercing! perhaps other ones too. a couple other tattoos, a cartilage piercing, an eyebrow, his nipples. idk. just to change his appearance more. yeah. thats. the only reason.

anyway i think he got back into the US by working with an undercover cop and being a part of a pre-planned drug bust that included him being "arrested" and making it seem like he got extradited to the US only for being wanted. if he wouldve just waltzed into a precinct and said "hey i got dirt on this cartel" his as wouldve been killed so quickly. it needed to be a lot more covert so the other members didnt catch on and get rid of him. i do think eventually they probably figured out he was the anonymous witness whose interviewed were used in trial, which is why when he gets released in s10 the CO tells him the cartel is looking for him. sorry im going all Law & Order here talking about a s6 trial and now a trial against the cartel i need to stop

[80pairsofcrocs]

baby scarab || 57

@jasminemohmed - hi! I am new to tumblr could I make a request? what if Marc takes baby scarab with him to visit his father in Chicago and Elias asking him if she's his daughter, and shows her around?

~~~

@yassmeenabass-deactivated2022101 - hey could I request for baby scarab? what if she goes with marc to visit marc's father in chicago and him showing her the city and elias asking marc if she's his daughter

~~~

A/N : sorry for leaving it unedited for a while, ignore if you already read this and werent tagged until now

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : THERE IS NO MORE SCHEDULE, IM SORRY also thank you all sm for the support and requests :)))

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, mentions of violence, language, angst, very rushed and hard to read. let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

today was the day. you had to go apologize to casper’s family for potentially getting him killed.

you brought a small bouquet of flowers for casper, they were lilies since he told you he thought they were pretty.

marc was walking with you down the sidewalk, holding onto your hand that wasn’t occupied with the flowers to make sure you were comfortable, and wouldn’t sneak away and hide back at home.

he was also going to be talking to grace, to explain everything to her.

she was grateful while talking to him on the phone, grateful for you and marc for making sure his son was safe.

you both walked up to the door and marc knocked, only waiting a couple seconds before the door opened.

grace had answered the door, and she gave a genuine smile to both of you.

it was small, but it was there.

“come in, there are snacks if you’d like any” grace says gently, gesturing for you and marc to come inside and you do.

you just stood in the foyer, while marc and grace stood talking in hushed voices at the island that was in the middle of the kitchen.

grace looked to you for a moment before smiling again.

“casper is in his room. he mentioned wanting to talk to you” she says and you nod, slowly making your way inside the house and towards casper’s door.

you heard grace and marc talking, but you didn’t want to know what they were saying.

it was probably bad anyways.

casper’s door was only open a sliver, and you just stood there staring at it for a second before knocking on the doorframe.

you heard movement until the door opened, and you were face to face with casper.

he surprisingly grinned at you and opened the door wider for you to come in, so you do hesitantly and silently.

“casper.. i’m sorry-“

“don’t. don’t even start” he begins, so you sigh and hold up the flowers.

“i got these for you. it’s- it’s stupid..” you shake your head, deciding to stare down at your shoes.

casper takes them from your hand gently, and after that you put your hands in your pockets.

he smiles and stares down at them, recognizing them. “my favorite. you remembered” he says and you nod, avoiding looking at him at all.

“it’s literally the least i could do” you mumble.

“you remembered because you’re a good person” casper points out and you scoff.

“i wasn’t a good person when i murdered someone in front of you” you start, and casper’s smile fades. “you almost died just because you know me” you finally look up to him.

“it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know-“

“casper stop! do you know what that would’ve done?! if you died?!” you exclaim, making him just stare in silence to let you finish your rant.

“think about your family, it would’ve torn them apart. you are all they have, and i almost took that away” you take a heavy breath.

“and it would’ve been on me. i’m lucky marc got there in time or.. you would’ve..” you can’t finish the sentence, and that’s when casper sets the flowers down on his desk to come up to you, taking your shoulders in his hands.

“but it didn’t happen that way-“

“why aren’t you mad at me?” you cut him off and he blinks at you a few times, making you think of the worst.

“you’re scared of me” you state and casper’s eyes widen.

“no i’m not! i could never” he shakes his head, but you give him a look.

“casper.. i…. i think we should maybe.. take a break. see other people” you change the subject and you could almost hear his heart stop.

“..what..? you don’t-“

“you’re not safe with me, you’d be better off with somebody else” you feel tears gather in your eyes.

“i don’t want somebody else, i want you” he argues but you take his hands off your shoulders.

“but i put you in danger, you have to understand that” you try to reason and he shakes his head with a stern look on his face.

“i am in love with you, y/n!” he raises his voice, making your mouth snap shut to listen to him.

“i- i wouldn’t be able to do this without you, and nothing can change that. ever”

“i killed someone, casper” you say quietly but he just scoffs.

“he was already dead to begin with, and he was manipulating you, and you know it” he starts. “he wanted you to ‘lose’ everything so that you would join them” he puts the word lose in air quotes.

you just stare up and nod slowly.

“i’m sorry” you let a tear fall halfway down your cheek. “i’m so sorry” casper pulls you to him gently, wrapping his arms around you while you bury your face in his neck.

you feel yourself choke on a sob before throwing your arms around casper’s neck while you freely cry into his shoulder.

casper was perfectly patient. he waited for you to calm down, and he would wait as long as it took no matter what.

it was only 5 minutes that went by where you made no move to detach yourself from him, but you did so eventually.

you refused to look up at him though, opting to stare at the floor again.

“please look at me” casper whispers, not able to bring his voice any louder.

he had tears in his eyes as well, but he refused to let them fall.

you slowly look up to him, so that you were looking him in the eye.

“say it wasn’t your fault. i need you to mean it this time” he tells you, and you hesitate before opening your mouth, bottom lip still wobbling.

“i.. it wasn’t my fault” you say quietly while bringing your arms around yourself to appear smaller.

“you saved me. you and your dad, you’re both heroes” he tells you and you look back up at him.

“are you sure?” you ask and he nods, lifting his hands up to hold your face in them.

“i’ve never been more sure about anything in my life” he tells you honestly.

you felt yourself smile a bit against your will, so you lean forward quickly to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

casper smiles at you, and takes you into another hug, this time you smile as well.

“i’m so glad you’re okay. i promise i’ll never let that happen again, i swear” you tell him and he nods.

“i’m counting on it” casper grins.

~~~

meanwhile with grace and marc, she was explaining how the whole situation wasn’t a big deal since casper was saved, but there was another issue.

reginald.

he acted as if he didn’t care that his son almost died, which broke graces heart.

she loved her kids, but reginald didn’t even try with them. always pointing out their mistakes and dragging them down.

he hasn’t even been home, claiming to be on a business trip.

“it’s hard because i can’t find a decent paying job, and reginald is our only source of income” grace starts.

“if i could have it my way, i would’ve left him a long time ago. he just.. he has a hold over me” she sighs and marc nods.

“if you need a place to stay with no strings attached, i know someone who could help you out” he says softly and grace smiles gratefully at him.

“as much as i’d like to, i can’t. it was til death do us part, and besides this is the only place my children have known” she explains.

“if you’re sure then i won’t pressure you, but if you change your mind our door is always open” marc tells her and she nods.

that was when you and casper both came out of his room, and marc looked at you with that one look on his face.

you just raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a thumbs up with pursed lips.

“i’m guessing it went well?” grace asks, noticing the flowers casper had in his hand.

well, the hand that wasn’t holding yours.

you could tell marc was about to say something, but his phone, which was sitting face up on the arm of the couch next to him started ringing, and it displayed a name you didn’t recognize.

marc’s eyes widened a fraction and turned his phone to silent, slipping it into his pocket.

he cleared his throat. “well uh.. we better get going then” marc starts. “you both need to actually go to school tomorrow” he finishes his sentence while getting up.

grace gave him a thankful smile, to which he returned it.

“thank you grace, for understanding the situation” marc says, coming towards you to guide you towards the door, causing you to leave casper’s side to follow.

you could barely say goodbye to casper or grace before marc rushed the both of you out, speed walking down the sidewalk while marc’s phone vibrated in his pocket.

“marc, who’s elias?” you ask but he doesn’t answer.

elias. the name that was displayed on the screen of marcs phone.

you didn’t know anyone by the name, and you were almost sure he didn’t either.

well, not so sure now.

“marc-“

“nobody, let’s just get home”

“but-“

“y/n please” he breaths out and you nod once.

“sorry” you mumble, and he just keeps walking.

~~~

marc had gone to take a call about a half hour ago.

he locked himself in the bathroom to talk to whoever this was and you could count the amount of times he said something decent on one hand.

though it was a bit muffled through the door, you could hear that he tried to keep quiet and ended up gritting out words through his teeth.

you heard him mention steven a few times too.

you really weren’t trying to eavesdrop, but you couldn’t help that you had extremely sensitive hearing now.

you could even hear neighbors washing dishes.

about a floor below you.

marc frustratingly unlocks the door and walks out, making eye contact with you.

“how much did you hear?” he questions and you shrug.

“close to nothing” you say semi honestly.

he just shortly nods and you notice a change in posture before realizing that jake was the one coming over to sit next to you.

“i hope marc knows i didn’t mean to upset him earlier” you speak into the air.

“he does” marc himself speaks up.

“..he’s having a rough time right now, princesa. it’s..” jake tries to find the right words but just ends up completely rewording it.

“it’s his father. his- our? father is who marc was on the phone with” jake starts to explain.

“and we haven’t seen him since.. since well… wendy’s shiva” he tells you in a more hushed voice.

you nod and look down at your knees, just thinking.

you should never have said anything. it’s not like you knew but you were insensitive.

“but you didn’t go in, is that why you don’t want to see him?” steven asks marc.

“well that and the fact that y/n has to go to school tomorrow” he starts and you sigh. “she already missed her first day and i can’t just leave her here by herself”

“what if i went with you?”

“you’d miss more school”

“well yeah, but marc think about it” you begin. “he probably misses you. how would you feel if i disappeared for years?”

marc stays quiet so you take that as a silent win.

“that’s different. and i’m not telling you how because you saw it” he tells you.

you looked down in thought while jake wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you to him.

“are you.. are you sure you’d want to come with?” marc asks quietly and you nod, looking at him through a small handheld mirror on the coffee table.

he just sighs and brings his hands up to dig the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“fuck it” he scoffs at himself. “we’re going to america”

~~~

so that’s how you ended up where you were now.

in a private jet that jake somehow owned, claiming he knew a guy.

your first time in a plane was to go to america while marc was having an internal crisis.

he sat across from you staring out of the window while you chewed on some ice to try and get your ears back to normal after they popped when you took off.

you felt terrible leaving casper, but he told you it was completely fine and he’ll be there waiting for when you get back.

but first you made him promise to be safe and have some sort of weapon on him just in case on his walk to school the next day.

you both already missed your first day of senior year, and now you were missing your second and possibly third.

all because of the situation.

you didn’t feel like thinking about it right now or ever again just for the sake of your sanity.

what you had to think about was the fact that he wasn’t lying when he said he loved you and it was okay.

“so, first time in america, yeah? me too- well- not exactly actually” steven starts, but ends up mumbling to himself.

“what state are we going to?” you ask and steven stops mumbling to answer.

“illinois. chicago to be specific” he starts. “i only remember some things, but i’m sure you’ll enjoy it” he gives you a lopsided smile.

“and are we there yet?”

“about 30 minutes”

you groan out of annoyance at his answer, and lean your head back in your seat.

“jake how did you even afford this?” you ask, referring to the private plane you were currently in.

“i maxed out marc’s credit card a couple years ago” he chuckles to himself.

“i’m sorry, years?” marc scolds his alter. “you’re an ass, you know that?”

“si”

marc just shakes his head then looks to you.

“i can’t believe i’m letting you take a day off school to make me talk to my father” he scoffs. “i mean, the last time i saw him i was drinking outside.. and then i.. that’s when…” you could tell he wasn’t exactly comfortable going into detail about the subject.

“you don’t have to tell me what happened” you start. “what was he like?” you ask instead, hoping he’ll think of good memories.

you felt terrible for marc. ever since you both saw each other’s memories you’ve felt so bad.

he didn’t deserve it, and it certainly wasn’t his fault.

he deserved so much better and he still does. you can tell that he’s suffering a bit inside.

“he always made sure i had a decent birthday, that’s for sure” he smiles to himself. “it would just be me and him in that moment”

“guess you both have something in common, huh?” you ask rhetorically and marc breaks out in a grin.

“i suppose so” he lets out a single laugh.

“i haven’t told him about you though. i was going to surprise him but.. i don’t know how he’ll react. i don’t even know why he decided to call now of all times”

“i’m sure he has a good reason.. maybe he thought you hated him” you suggest.

“what? that’s crazy i could never” marc defends himself.

“well you kinda just disappeared, mate” steven cuts in and marc shrugs.

“i was trying to give you a good life, so you can’t be pissed at me” marc says and you can see steven smiling in the windows reflection.

“so he does show emotion. i see” he says, causing marc to roll his eyes.

this is going to be a long half hour.

~~~

“oh and another thing- cars driver on the opposite sides of the road. can you believe that?” steven rants as the two of you get off the plane at a private runway somewhere in the middle of chicago.

“that’s.. pretty weird, yeah” you agree, seeing a cab pull up next to the exit.

jake fronted and guided you towards it, and you watched a man step out.

the man just gave a single nod to jake before walking away to god knows where.

jake just smiled and waved.

you got into the car, per jakes request and he glanced at you before starting the car.

“thank you for bringing me” you start, earning the attention from marc and steven.

“i know it probably hard for you” you say while looking to marc. “but uhm.. i guess i’ll be the one protecting you this time”

marc just lets out a single laugh, and shakes his head.

“i’ll be okay. we’ll be okay, i mean” he tells you and you nod.

~~~

“is that it?” you ask, looking to the house marc was staring at.

marc fronted right after jake parked, as promised.

“..yeah” he answers.

“…so are you working up the courage to get out of the car?” you ask rhetorically and marc rolls his eyes.

“no, i just regret this already” he mumbles, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door, you doing the same.

jake parked across the street, so you both had to cross the road to get to marc’s old home.

he walked as slow as he could on the road, which had almost no cars parked or driving.

he held your hand tightly in his as you walked up the couple steps.

you look to marc and see that he just stared at the door while biting down on his bottom lip.

that was a nervous habit of his, so you squeezed his hand a bit to get his attention.

he looks to you with a small but grateful smile, and takes a deep breath.

“alright, it’s now or never” he slowly brings his other hand up to turn it into a fist and knock on the door.

he seemed to tense after he did, and that’s when you heard quiet footsteps approaching from inside.

you could hear marc’s heartbeat too, and if it were any faster you’d fear for his life.

the door clicks twice before slowly opening, which revealed a man in thick framed glasses.

he reminded you of steven a bit.

he looked almost shocked to see marc, but smiles at him nonetheless.

but when his eyes shifted down to you, he looked almost confused before turning back to marc.

“you really came” he says, and marc gives a single nod.

“i had to. you.. you didn’t do anything wrong. it’s the least i can do” marc tells him quickly, and the man smiles at him before looking back to you.

“who’s this?” he asks, pointing to you.

marc squeezes your hand before answering. “this is my daughter y/n” he starts. “and y/n, this is my father, elias” he introduces.

elias breaks out into a grin, and holds a gentle hand out to you, to which you take it in your own to give a solid shake.

“it’s great to meet you- here, both of you come in, it’s getting cold out” elias offers, so you both go inside.

marc seemed more chill than you thought, since when you were on the plane you and steven made a plan where he would say positive affirmations if he noticed marc getting upset.

you all ended up around the living area, you and marc next to each other on a small couch and elias across you both in an armchair.

“..so, is she laylas?” elias asks gently and marc shakes his head.

“not exactly. we adopted her” he answers and elias raises an eyebrow.

“how long?”

“well we’ve known her since april, and we adopted her in august” marc starts, getting more comfortable. “technically she’s steven and jakes daughter too”

“now i know steven, but who’s jake? is he.. another one” elias asks, trying his best not to be too unknowingly offensive.

marc didn’t take it that way though, and answered. “yeah, jake just kind of appeared one day. and y/n here knew about it and didn’t care to tell us” marc elbows you in the ribs after he was done talking.

you turn to glare at marc, and he just smiles obnoxiously at you.

“would either of you like something to drink?” elias asks, and marc stands up hesitantly with a single nod.

“i can get water for all of us” he volunteers and you smile.

elias smiles as well gratefully. “the cups are all in the same place” he says and marc nods again, leaving the room.

now it was just you and marc’s dad. you could tell he was soft spoken, and most of all you could tell how much he had missed marc.

“you know.. i never expected marc to have kids. a daughter especially” elias tells you and you tilt your head a bit.

“he used to think kids were to fragile for this world. that they were perfect targets” he starts and sighs. “and i believe him. i hated lying to him every time i said his mother would get better”

“you knew? and you didn’t do anything about it?” you ask and elias panics before continuing.

“i did do something about it, i- i couldn’t do anything when i wasn’t home, but if i didn’t go to work everyday my boy would starve. both of them” he says quickly and you understand.

you take it upon yourself to change the subject. “so.. what was marc like as a kid?” you ask, hoping to get some dirt on him.

elias just chuckles before answering. “he used to make fun of his brothers drawing because they were always the same. a fish with only one fin”

that made you perk up. “steven had a fish with only one fin. his name was gus. but he died so now we have a gus the second. with two fins” you basically vomit words while elias smiled at you.

“and how is steven?” he asks.

“he’s good, he’s a nerd and he’s great at cooking even though he’s a vegan. he also had an identity crisis because a long time ago, he didn’t even know marc” you start ranting, and elias is delighted to listen.

“he did have a hard time with the whole khonshu thing though. and he never leaves them alone with moon knight business” you say, referring to khonshu.

“i’m sorry.. moon knight? are you saying that my son is moon knight?” elias asks and your eyes widen.

“no. he’s- i didn’t say he was moon knight” you gaslight, and you can tell he was not believing you at all.

on that note, marc decides to come back in with three glasses of water.

“what’d you guys talk about?” marc asks and you shake your head at elias, hoping he’ll get the message.

“just.. you” he answers and you let out a sigh of relief, taking the water from marc.

“why did you invite me here?” marc asks bluntly.

“i figured you would actually do it now. and i didn’t know if you were still in the marines” elias responds.

“i’ve been out of it for a long time” marc starts. “so why now?” he repeats and elias doesn’t respond.

“kid, why don’t you go wait outside for a bit” marc tells you rather than asking, and you sigh, getting up with a sorry look to elias.

after you were outside, you sat on the first step after closing the door, wondering what marc had to say that he couldn’t in front of you.

khonshu appeared to sit next to you, still towering over you in height.

“hey, i want to say thank you before i forget again” you immediately say to him, to which he tilts his head in confusion.

“for what, child?” he asks and you let out a breath, furrowing your brows right after.

“for saving marc. even if it was just to get another protecter of the night” you start. “you were a manipulative psycho but you still saved him” you look up at khonshu.

he simply nods and looks away from you. “i chose him for two reasons” he begins. “to protect the travelers of the night, and because i knew he was the best candidate. both- all of them” it wasn’t like the god to stammer over his words like that, but he did anyways.

“don’t tell him- them i said that” he tells you, and you nod, making a zipping motion over your lips.

“i won’t, promise. just thank you again, without marc or steven or jake, i would probably be dead in a ditch somewhere” you shrug.

“i doubt that very much” khonshu ends the conversation there, and that’s almost the best he can do with compliments.

with khonshu, what he said basically meant that he believes you could handle yourself just fine.

you and khonshu sat in comfortable silence for about five minutes before the door behind you opened again, revealing marc who was gesturing for you to come back inside.

and you were grateful because it was cold out. you quickly waved to khonshu before getting back up and following marc inside.

you didn’t want to pry, so you refrained from asking marc what happened.

you were now sat back down in the same spots as before, but it was a little less tense. whatever needed to be said or argued was over and both marc and his father were now good.

“so i have a few photo albums if-“

“no” marc interrupts and elias just smiles.

“or you can show her your room?” he offers instead, giving you and marc both an opportunity to be alone.

marc just lets out a breath and purses his lips before basically dragging you back up again to hesitantly bringing you up the stairs.

you sort of recognized the entrance to marc’s old room from when you saw his memories, but saw that a few things were different.

like the walls, they were lighter and more vibrant than you remembered, making the whole house just a bit more comfortable.

marc stopped you before turning to the door. “i don’t remember how i left it. and he said that he hasn’t gone in since i left” he starts, referring to his dad. “so just- don’t make fun of me, okay?” you sense a bit of self consciousness in marc’s voice, so you wordlessly nod.

he opens to door and peaks in before letting you come in as well, watching as you wandered in, eyes going immediately to the poster at the wall.

at the top was ‘tomb buster’ in large print, and in the bottom left corner was what looked like a quote.

‘when danger is here, steven grant has no fear’

you looked back at marc, and saw him already looking at you.

“he had to come from somewhere, right?” you ask and you hear steven stifle a laugh.

“you’re having a better reaction than i did” steven starts. “i always thought i was just me, but it turned out that.. marc just made me up” he tells you and you nod with your eyes cast down towards the floor.

“we talked it all out of course, it was just.. a lot” steven finishes and you nod again.

you then started looking around elsewhere, to which to found a small stack of white paper, all with what appeared to be the same drawing.

all goldfish. with one fin.

you could still sense marc’s eyes on you, so you took no surprise when he spoke up.

“my.. my brother drew those” he starts, voice quiet and timid.

you turn to him to pay attention fully. marc just stared at the picture on top, seeing that it looked like the exact one his brother drew the day he passed.

“i would do anything to go back and change it” he sighs and you walk up closer to him.

“i just hope he knows how much i love him” marc directs towards you with downturned brows.

you just smile sadly up at him. “he knows” you start. “i can sense it”

marc takes that as the go ahead to reach forward and pull you into a hug.

you wrap your arms around is waist to hold onto the back of his shirt.

you felt his shoulders shake a few times while one of his hands traveled up to the back of your head to keep you close to him.

you just held marc for as long as he needed, before there was a small knock at the doorframe.

“oh- i’m sorry for interrupting” elias apologizes, while marc let’s go of you to wipe at his eyes.

“that’s alright” he mumbles and you bring your hands to your pockets.

“i don’t know how long you’re both staying, but i can order some food for you both” elias offers and marc nods.

“i can pay you back”

“that’s alright, it’s the least i can do” elias seems delighted by his choice to stay, and you don’t blame him.

“so what are you both in the mood for?”

~~~

you sat next to marc on one side of the dinner table, while elias sat on the other.

before you ate, both marc and elias did a short blessing to which you waited the patient ten seconds before eating.

you didn’t have much, since you didn’t exactly feel too hungry since just hours earlier both you and casper were having a crisis.

“so y/n shared some interesting news with me earlier” elias starts. “about.. you” he looks to marc who’s darting his eyes to you.

“what was it?” marc asks, and you stare down at your plate in silence.

“she may have accidentally told me that you were…. moon knight- but don’t blame her, she didn’t know that i didn’t know” elias defends you, and marc sighs tiredly.

“well she’s arachnid” he mutters childishly, following the sentence by taking a sip of water from his cup.

“oh i’ve heard of her, i saw her get hit by a car- are you okay?” elias directs the question at you and you shrug.

“mentally or physically?” you ask, and marc elbows you in the ribs, making you wheeze.

elias just watches in amusement. he’d honestly think the two of you acted more like siblings than a father and daughter.

he could see the resemblance between you two by the way you acted. you were completely comfortable with each other and it showed.

“wait- who do you like better? arachnid or that lame ass moon knight?” you ask, earning a scoff from marc.

“watch your language” he grits out.

elias just chuckles. “don’t take this too personally, son, but arachnid is cooler” he answers and you start laughing at the betrayal on marcs face.

marc just shoves you, almost falling off your chair before shooting a web out at his arm so you could pull yourself back up.

he rips the webs off of his sleeve to shove them down the back of your shirt, making you gasp and smack him in the arm.

“douche” you mumble, then look to elias who had a wide smile on his face. “sorry” you say, referring to the language.

“it’s perfectly fine”

now even though you had no idea what went down when you were outside, and realistically marc still has some sort of grudge but you sensed something different now.

he was less tense, as if he had gotten closure. and some selfish part of you thought you were a part of why he got said closure.

now, you and marc had left that night after elias confirmed that you were an official spector now.

it warmed your heart, along with marc’s dads.

he was so happy to find out he had a granddaughter, since he never thought marc would have any kids after what happened with his brother.

marc also happened to go back into the house and take those pictures that roro had drawn all those years ago.

he would keep them safe and cherish them forever.

just like he did with you.

marc had felt almost complete now that almost everyone important in his life had all met.

now all that’s left is for him to help you.

but how would he do that?

were you going to possibly make another stop before you go home?

only your dads know the answer to that.

and that’s how it will stay just until the time comes.

~~~

A/N : sorry this took so long i’m just busy so bear with me. also this chapter is very centered around marc, so the next one with have more of steven and jake. love you guys!!!

~~~

taglist ---

@alexloveskili @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @thebiggestsimpshrimp @guyinachair27 @astrobuzzsstuff @mooonlight-and-stars @moonlighting87 @mateihavenoidea @inactive-things @alondrashultz @femalemarvelself @queenthorin1 @haileymorelikestupid @jvdethirlwall @justtiredandvibing @winterfrostsarmy @themapoftinyperfectthings @littlebird101 @atzlena @httpslinow @arrowurboat @m-brekker @lifeandbandmembers-blog @adamcarlsenslvr @violet-19999 @seninjakitey @bestgirlpip @panic-in-the-multiverse @in-between-the-cafes @branolagar @bl6o6dy @annoyingmarvelreader @bee-a-cool-kid @buzzitsbeee @wintergirlsoilder2 @crow-carcass @you-bloody-shank @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @valiantphantomangel @50shadesofcrocs @rayrlupin @kingshitonly @brekkers-desigirl @hutaos-gh0st @kayane28 @nevaeh-jasso @lizlil @scarabgrant @luvxxee @certainchildmentality @yikesitskennawrites @alexisabirdie @zlatolait-writes @thursdaywritings @night3owl

[whollyjoly]

ZIM ZAM, HOLY ONE!!!

For the ask game: 1, 9, 10 and 21, please??

May the Lads stay with ya >:]

ZIM ZAM my dear!

1 - what is your fav part about being in the fandom?

i answered this in a long and rambley and sappy way here, sorry its so long but im feeling WAYS about THINGS okay 😅

9 - a ship that you can't get enough of?

FUCK that is!! so hard!! but im gonna have to go for two because i honestly cant choose

Winnix the og bob ship for me. married behavior. i asked my bf who he thinks people ship from bob and this was literally the first thing out of his mouth with the words "well, obviously". like the absolute goddamn devotion to literally follow each other across multiple oceans if the other asked?? we'll go to chicago i'll take you there?? goin my way?? ron damian tom decisions were made and i just want to talk

Baberoe this ship absolutely has a stranglehold on me. i remember rewatching bastogne for the first time after a few years and was like...wait a second...this is so soft?? its the gazes and the yearning and the caretaking (babe making sure doc eats, doc searching for babe just to give him some chocolate after julian and the soft way he says perfect when babe eats some) and they make my heart MELT. im pretty sure most of my wips are baberoe related and i am not in the least ashamed

10 - an oc that you can't get enough of?

...okay so this is where i admit that i havent been as good as i should be about reading everyones ocs?? oc fic is super new to me, so ive been trying my best!! but i did just start reading @coco-bean-1218's series with claire and i am loving it so far!!

21 - what quote from the show you find yourself quoting in real life all the time?

ohhhhh so many?? but i do find myself saying "shoulda been born earlier nix" a lot if im feeling particularly Done With Shit, and every time my computer is being slow i'll say "what is the godDAMN HOLDUP" 🤣

thank YOU my dear sister web for stopping by!! zim zam, and let the lads look favorably upon you!!

[mystargirl-interlude]

Part one ^

Track Two: mean - Taylor swift . A&w part 2

Pairing. Billy Hargrove x OC

Word count : 1.8k

When I finally got to my class after receiving a school tour by a kid I can't bother to remember the name of I walk in a take a quick scan of the classroom and students and notice the same guy from earlier, the one from earlier with the mullet.

I try to sneak past the teacher when his back is turned,

I notice that the only chair left is one next to mullet guy. As I walk towards him I notice him straighten up out of the corner of my eye. I sit down and pay no attention to him only seeing him look at me out of the corner of my eye.

The teacher turns around and I see him scan the classroom and land on me

"Ah! New student" I hear him say and I begin to internally cringe when hear what he says next

"Have you been to this school before? You seem to look very familiar"

"Sorry no, I just moved here from Russia"

He stares at me a bit longer but im grateful he let it go.

I can feel Mullet guys eyes on me but an thankfully saved by the bell but not from him approaching me in the hallway

"Alexandra right?" He asks me as I back up on the lockers

" yeah, um I'm sorry did we meet?"

"No, no, we crossed paths briefly In the office. Im billy" he says radiating confidence

"cool" I reply pursing my lips not knowing what else to say

"Im just gonna...." I say walking away quickly

"Wait!" He says sprinting to catch up with me

I stop and turn around already fed up with him and it shows on my face

I stay silent wanting to hate him but finding funny how persistent he is

"How about I take you to the movies tonight? What do you say, 7 a'clock?

I'm ashamed to say I actually thought about it until I heard laughing by the lockers and saw who I assumed were Billy's friends laughing looking at us.

Everything I was feeling in that moment 3 seconds ago has faded.

I stare at him and scoff walking away not daring to look back at him but as I turn the corner I can see him slightly and see him with his mouth gaping and his friends no longer laughing.

I assume they are like this because no one has ever rejected him. hard to believe anyone would since he's the best looking thing that has probably come into this town in the vast 4 years

I'm not gonna lie it felt good to humble him but that feeling was in the back of my mind. But he's the man that peaks in high school and never moves on. That's what mean kids are . Someday I'll be living in a big old city and all he's ever gonna be is mean.

After school

me and my grandma decided since we are in America and in a basically all English to speak a mix of English and Russian just to help my grandma get more familiar with the language.

"Sasha, before you came I went into Chicago for a bit and I found this ice rink. It's only one subway from the big city" she says

"Wait, really? I didn't think there was any around here" I replied partially thinking out loud

Tomorrow is a half day since it's a pep rally which I have no interest watching

"Do you mind if I go tomorrow? Just to check it out because tomorrow is a half day and I have nothing to do?" I ask

"Yes. Go ahead."

Her replies are very straight forward since she doesn't know many other words but I don't mind

The next day

There is this small friend group that I have been talking to recently I mean it's technically just two people but I am talking to someone else who isn't in the "group" but their names are Steve and Robin and the one that isn't the group is Nancy.

When I first walk in I'm met with Nancy by the doors waiting for me

"Hey! Sooooo are you excited for your first American pep rally today??" She asks

"Actually first pep rally ever, I didn't even know they existed"

"Omg that makes it even better !!"

"I'm probably not gonna stay for it though, I'm planning to leave early cause I have errands to run later" I reply

"Come on, it's your first pep rally, here I'll make you a deal , if you don't like the first ten minutes of it then you can leave ." She reasons

"Fine" I reply slightly smiling

We had this conversation while walking to our first period which we both have together so when the conversation ends we reach our class and walk in .

Class goes smoothly along with my classes with Robin and Steve. Time passes and comes the pep rally one of the American teen necessity's as so I've been told. We enter the gym and see the stands filled with students and the floor filled with basket ball players and snobby cheerleaders.

We begin walking up the stands looking for a seat, we eventually find a little section with enough room for the three of four of us. Once I sit down my eyes gravitate towards billy and I guess his did too cause we made eye contact and I swear I have never looked away faster.

The pep rally started with the band playing music and the cheerleaders dancing along to it while the basket ball players stand back. I could still feel Billy's eyes on me the entire time. Steve told me that he is in basketball and Robin told me that she was in band so I was slightly confused as to why they weren't in this pep rally but I didn't pay much attention to that thought.

I have surprisingly made it through almost the entire game without leaving so that's a plus.

As I was watching I noticed the billy took the ball from a player on the opposing team and it felt like he was dribbling the ball for forever but eventually he made his way around the player and threw the ball into the net cheering as he made it. We all began clapping as he made the last shot of the game but I quickly stopped as I noticed he looked my way winking and pointing at me almost as if he was saying "this one is for you" as if we were in some cheesy rom com. Yuck. But all the girls around me were blushing and giggling so I assume it was for one of them

"holy fucking shit, did you see that!" Robin screeches in my ear shaking me while Steve and Nancy laugh

I roll my eyes playfully shoving her in a joking matter

"You can convince us that wasn't for you" Nancy says

"Why would it be for me? I've spoken two words to him??"

"Yeah and those words were rejecting him after asking you out" Steve replied

"It's probably nothing" I brush off

But thank god that's when the pep rally ends and the band plays some sort of music as we all exit and most leave for the day but I stayed back despite saying I was going to leave early. I went to the girls locker room with Nancy to chance into my skating clothes which is just athletic sports bra and leggings.

Me and Nancy enter the locker room expecting no one to be in there since we have assumed everyone has left besides the ones that participated in the pep rally.

"Sooo are you exciting to explore more of America today" Nancy says to me while helping me do my hair

"I mean kinda? I guess I'm just more excited to get back on the ice-" as I was saying that I was cut off my shuffling coming from one of the stalls and whisper shouting

Me and Nancy look at each other confused and I bend down to look under the stall to see if I can spot feet and I see a pair of men's sneakers and one of rainbow flip flops and messily painted toenails.

I cover my mouth to prevent my laugh and look up at a confused Nancy and I silently telling tell her  to get down on the floor to see what I seeing.

When she sees them she looks at me and we burst out laughing no longer trying to be quiet. We quickly stand up

"Out of all places to fuck why the girls locker room??" I say purposely loud on our way out to make sure whoever was in there heard me as we make our way to the ice rink

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Billy's pov:

After the pep rally this random girl I've never seen before comes up to me batting her non existent eyelashes. She hands me this crumpled up piece of paper and walks away attempting to sway her hips.

I open the paper and it says "meet me in the girls locker room in ten minutes" I debate wether or not I want to torcher myself more but I couldn't bring myself to care cause she's just one more notch on my belt.

I walk into the locker room looking around and I feel someone dragging me into a stall and she gets down to business very fast..

As we were doing our business I guess I heard two people walk in talking, then I heard the accent that can be recognized anywhere and that pris Nancy wheeler

“So why is your name Alexandra but you go by Sasha?” I hear Nancy ask

“It’s like how some people’s names are William but go by billy, it’s so much shorter than saying al- ex- an- dra.”

“Ohh okay”

And then they continue their conversation but then I remember the position I’m in with- Emma? I think her name was but I couldn’t care but the fact that the girl I’m trying to get just walked in while I’m getting blown messed the the mood and I think Emma noticed cause she started going faster which just pissed me off so I tried pushing her off and she started whisper screaming at me while I started at her and then I heard Sasha and Nancy get quiet for a second which made me think they heard us because of how fucking loud Emma was.

Emma kept rambling and then I heard laughing which shut her up real fast and as I was about to exit the stall I heard Sasha’s voice say “out of all the places to fuck why the girls locker room?” And then their laughter fade out.

Well..

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Y’all this took so much longer than it should’ve. I was supposed to be medicated for adhd but I wasn’t so obviously I couldn’t focus and kept getting distracted but I finished about 900 words in a day which is shocking but anyway I hope you enjoyed it and stream boygenius also this isn’t proof read so sorry for misspells 🤞

[barely-coherent]

Can you write some sam x reader?

A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, I COULDN'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS SET IN CHICAGO OR NOT. I played through all of Sam's routes again just to get his character down... Being an Erik simp is hard

-

You hear the front door slam as Sam gets home and you make your way to the foyer. As you watch him slump against the closed door, you sigh and walk towards him.

"Rough day?" You ask and he practically falls into your arms as you open them. He let's out the loudest groan you've heard from him and buries his face into your neck, mumbling about the hardest parts of his day which seemed to be all of it if the length of his rant was anything to go by. You interrupt him mid complaint and drag him to the nearest couch, desperate to stop supporting all his weight on your feet alone.

After a few cups of tea, he was spread across the couch with his head in your lap and your hand in his hair.

"And you had the gall to not visit me once!" He says, poking you in the chest.

You look at him, crossing your arm and raising your eyebrow. "Oh, I'm so sorry that I didn't have time to drive around the entirety of Chicago looking for you." Teasing him gently as you continue stroking his hair.

"You could've called my name." He points out and you stare at him, your hand pausing mid stroke.

"I'm not gonna make you disappear in front of your coworkers. Are you insane?" Your hand continues in gently massaging his scalp, sighing as he crosses his arms.

"You've could've texted me..." You shake your head with a fond smile and squish his cheeks together.

"I'm sorry, is 5 texts per work day not cutting it anymore? Should I bump it up to 6?" He swats your hands away as a flush comes to his cheeks. He stays silent and you take it as your cue to press a kiss to his heated cheek. As his face heats up further, you continue pressing kisses against his face until you're about to press one to his neck and he pushes your face back gently.

"Not the neck! You know the neck is off-limits!" He says, his cheeks heating further as you press kisses against the palm on your face.

"All I'm hearing is your neck is perfect for kissing~!" You tease, trying to get closer but he holds you away with ease.

He tugs his collar up, completely blocking his neck as he lets go of you. "Off limits to civilians." He grins as if he'd won and you pout, looking up at him with your hands clasped together and wide eyes.

"Please?" You beg and he looks away, trying to avoid your pleading gaze until he sighs.

"My neck... is sensitive. This night will end very differently if you go anywhere near it." It takes a few seconds before your face matches his in terms of color and you cover your mouth in shock before delving into a fit of laughter.

"That's why you don't want me by your neck? You don't want me to know your weak spot?" The laughter spills out and he shushes you, his face burning up.

"Shut up! Quiet! I'm going to our room, oh my god!" He walks out of the room, more embarrassed than angry as he hides his head under the pillow, trying to muffle your laughter that echos up the stairs.

[trashworldblog]

Hi!

I hope ur well.

Anyway I wanted to know if u have any accomidations in ur college for your disablitie? It seems you are constantly in pain and could use some extra help? (PLS CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG) I see ur posts about ur disablites and I can't help but feel sympathy, I know some of what your going through (my ass has been on meds as well as being in and out of hospitals my whole life)

I don't know what your collage could offer and such but I hope you at get some extra help bc everyone should have a good college experience and not have to cry in front of professors bc of pain and stress.

I hope you are better in the next few days. And I hope u get some good vitimin D (Illinois is cloudy as shit rn).

hi!! thanks for checking in !! yeah my school provides accommodations. its just hard as fuck to do (paperwork, doctors signatures, etc) and i havent had the time or energy to do it yet. im hoping to get flexible due dates and have flexible attendance? also just a general understanding that if im uncontactable its cus im in bed, in pain, with nausea. (or asleep due to meds). i have 2 game studio classes coming up so i get to break it to them that im chronically ill yayyy

having a disability is fucking hard! and its been hard to figure out how to communicate that to professors and classmates in a ~chill regular people way~ because beep beep im also autistic and have no clue if im over or undersharing. luckily i was able to express it in a semi normal ish way with a 1 on 1 w the prof for the class thats really been rough because of my disability. (the tldr is i worked on a big and cool project w a client, and had to be in contact with my team for updates, and due to my disability i would disappear for half a week cus i was busy passing out in doctors offices and sleeping due to pain meds) but i was always able to do good fucking work! just couldnt message people all the time 💀 the meeting went well, i didnt actually cry cry, my voice got all wobbly and i made that noise you make when youre TRYING not to cry a few times. honestly i was confused as to why i got emotional cus i thought i was over it. clearly not lol. she was very understanding and nice too. she wished i brought it up sooner but tbh this all unfolded during the semester, and i was new(ish) to chronic illness so i didnt know what to do or how to approach that.

overall my college experience has been very good, this is a rough bit of it. and i find it helpful to write about it.

i wouldnt say im constantly in pain, it comes and goes every few days. and even then, everyday theres at least some pressure/pain for a few seconds and on bad days theres times when it goes away for a few minutes every hour. she's very dynamic.

sorry to hear you also get the medical struggles <3 hope you are well and your meds work well for you. and thank you for the well wishes. today was pretty nice! low pain, and it was actually sunny and warm in chicago! i got to escape to the lakefront for a while and listen to the waves break and the birds chirp

[sumedhaaaaaaaaaa]

I’m having a hard time understanding a lot about this conflict. Today, in the USA (Chicago Illinois, San Francisco California, and in New York) Pro-Palestinian activists decided to block the bridges to prevent people from entering or leaving. As a result, people waited for a minimum of 5 hours before the bridge was completely opened for them to cross. I’ve been reading stories of people who were transporting stem cells, sick people, etc who weren’t able to make it out.

According to the protestors, their goal was to cause an “economic blockade” by causing everyone to not be able to go anywhere

Shockingly a lot of Palestinians were supporting this saying that inconveniencing Americans is a good way to bring light to the situation happening in Gaza. I’ve even had some say that the few lives that were lost because of this were “fine” because it’s for the cause. I don’t want to believe that everyone is this cruel, so I will give my thought generally speaking.

I’m not an expert on these things, I don’t know much so im just using logic. Joe Biden is not the supreme authority over Israel. So let’s say that the USA stops sending aid to Israel completely. Let’s say they cut ties. Where will the protesting end up then? Will it move to another country who may support Israel? The way I see it is, Israeli government is going to do what it wants to do whether America sends it money or not.

Secondly, why is it that Americans have to suffer for what we cannot control? Blocking the bridge did nothing for the people in control. They were comfortably in their homes, meanwhile working mothers and fathers lost job time because of this. People have children to feed. How is what’s happening in Gaza somehow the fault of innocent civilians?

This act today was just cruel and my heart hurt because of it. I in no way am turning a blind eye to the suffering of those in Israel, whether that be Israeli or Palestinian. But at some point we really have to think about where our actions will take us. I’m curious to know if anyone is sharing the same thoughts as I am. Again, I am not educated on the conflict to where I can speak confidently about it 100%, im just looking at this from a logical standpoint.

Hey I’m sorry that you are feeling this way and it’s completely okay to not understand certain things and it’s completely okay love, if it’s okay we can speak about this issue even more (if you want) you can text me directly okay? And I am not from America, I’m an Indian but I’m quite aware about the ongoing scenario and the propaganda which is going on globally, and if you want to hear them and have a conversation I’ll be happy to speak with you. God bless you and you have a great day dear❤️

[dancingisdangerouss]

Is Al hoping that reader gets Stockholm for him? Is he “inlove” with reader? I get so many questions in my head sometimes trying to understand Al’s perspective (which is difficult bc he’s like a broken computer as Ethan Hawke described) Plus, I saw the songs you listed for ITB and Im interested in the playlist you compiled for how Al would give to reader to convey his feelings for her. I suppose Im into character study for messed up people 😵‍💫

Oh yeah, most definitely. I think he’s hoping she’ll eventually break, and in the meantime, he certainly doesn’t mind her fighting him. I headcanon that he likes the power dynamic and enjoys the feeling of being dominant and having complete control of someone (likely due to the lack of control he’s had in his own life).

That said, Reader also poses a significant challenge; it’s not satisfying to have control over someone who’s willing or easily subdued, because it feels less powerful and less satisfactory if he’s controlling people who he knows are easy to use. So I think it’s a big, exhilarating challenge to get Reader to eventually give in: Kind of like the Ultimate Prize.

Yes, he’s in love with Reader. In the most warped, fucked up, creepy, horrific way, yes, he loves her. It started as just taking advantage of the situation with having accidentally kidnapped a woman, but he actually grows fond of her in his own weird way, namely because she’s so dismissive and stubborn with him. I think he’s just dead-set on breaking her in.

Also, just to make it abundantly clear since antis always harass me about it: Al is batshit insane. The scary part about him is that he’s so deluded and unhinged that you can’t reason with him with logic.

There may be aspects of my story that on the surface will seem cute or romantic, but I like to think I balance it well enough with the dark content to show that it’s not anything to romanticize or idealize in a real relationship. It’s obsessive, terrifying, abusive, and traumatic.

Thanks for all the questions! I always have fun scrutinizing his character, particularly ITB Al. He’s a fun lil’ wack-a-doo to write for haha!

Oh hey, I’m glad someone finally asked lol! I forgot I had this list. These are the songs he would give her as an expression of how he personally feels (in his wacko brain):

Always On My Mind by Elvis Presley

Bring It On Home to Me by Sam Cooke

If You Leave Me Now by Chicago

Because of You by Tony Bennett

Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers

Fly Me to The Moon by Frank Sinatra (this one pisses Reader off because she feels like it’s an Evan and her song)

You Belong to My Heart by Bing Crosby

I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You by Elvis Presley

Hard to Say I’m Sorry by Chicago

Please Don’t Let Me Love You by Hank Williams

Goodbye Girl by David Gates (You can pair this song with the ending of chapter 10)

(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons by Nat King Cole