#have about 8 wips of these two just expanding on their thoughts and shit like that

[sunwarmed-ash]

Fic tag game!

tagged by my buddies @cuillere and @lizzy0305! thank you for this!!

How many works do you have on AO3?

93 😎

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

831,467 (holy fucking shit when did it get that long?!?!?! #ThatsWhatSheSaid

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, Detroit become human, the breakfast club, marvel/spiderverses, Ted lasso, House MD, Harry Potter

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tony Stark: Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Daddy: (starker) 1074

I think I need help: (harringrove) 927

Call me Doctor: (Chase/House & Chase/House/Wilson 739

Rockabye Baby: (Wincest kinda??) 670

You know what they say about assuming. (steddiegrove) 645

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every. Single. One. Comments are the lifeblood to my work. Its so intimidating to be posting to a empty void but y'alls comments give life to the achieve and are just as important to a WIPs development as anything I write on my own!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Idk, I have ALOT of wips without endings/one shots. Probs the most angsty one I have in general is either The New Kid or Silence isn't Golden

wait wait wait, I found a dual suicide Wincest fic, that wins

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhhhhh this Thor/Bruce fic may be the fluffiest one I have haha

8. Do you get hate on fics?

HA! yeah, but oddly its just the ones with sex work in them. Who would have guessed 🙄🙄🙄🙄

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes 😈😈😈 kink wise all over the place, from super vanilla to BDSM and anything else I can think of. Peoplewise LGBTQ and queer characters, canon or fanon, polycules. Trope wise, enemies to lovers is my fav, but I also love pining or tragic love 👌

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yes!! not too many, but I've written a few. This one isn't crazy but it is the most developed of all the wips. It's a Supernatural/The Breakfast Club crossover called Supernatural activity at shermer high

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

a few times by a bot, im really really hoping it doesn't happen again but with AI about to fuck us all out of work, im a lil worried.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! two of my Starker fics were translated into Russian and on fic book but that website got torched a few years ago :( I think I also had a reader translate a TBC fic into Portuguese

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Many! probably 20-30 at this point

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

not possible for me to choose. So here's my favs of the moment. Hankconvin800 or hankvin1700, steddiegrove, parksborn, steadyhands

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

get a few scotches in him and he'll hit on anything in a 5 mile radius.

its a cowritten work I worked on years ago and just, meh idk I dont really wanna go back to it haha

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've gotten compliments on my dialogue, dynamic character relationships, smut, and angst

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

proof reading and editing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i never trust google translate to do a good enough job so to avoid looking like a fool i dont do it. I should try though, expand my horizons. I'm learning Danish so maybe ill make a fic using that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

all of them hold significant places in my heart. they are all pieces of me and I'm trying to learn to love all of me. And that's gotta start somewhere!

tagging all my mututals and anyone who wants to do it

@sweeteatercat @disdaidal @sweetasblack @writerwhowritesao3 @geekinglikeaboss @destroya-hargrove @kissoflightning @moviemuncherao3 @cuillere @late-to-the-party-81 @spaceofentropy @strangebrainrot @treeffles @heiko-goes-detroit

[bonebrokebuddy]

-Alright I’ve been tagged by @stealingyourbones to do the WIP Challenge. Rules Here!

Feel free to ask me about any of them and I’ll be happy to let u know what it’s about! :D (please i need encouragement to write about them and I don’t want them to be left in WIP hell forever)

Most of these didn’t previously have titles so I’m going to make them up as I go with some having brief summaries.

As I have chronic carpal tunnel so many (but definitely not all) of these are generally short prompts or fic outlines I need to iron out but many have surpassed 3k so I can safely declare some as fics. And there’s a Lot of stuff here so sorry that this is super fucking long but I’m still not including a shit ton of ideas so I can keep it under 100 for now.

I focus a lot on world building and ideas just keeps expanding to the point where I feel like I can’t write it out without having to explain everything else & so I tried splitting them into the smaller ideas & hopefully that’ll help!

@die-erlkonigin6083 ur being tagged now:

Ok so my written ones:

- Stuck In An Adventure: (Wally West getting stuck in a The Adventures of Superman reminiscent universe (radio show that ran from 1940-1951)).

1) Fawcett City: Through A Child’s Eye:

1.a) Sovereign Nation

1.b) Child Logic: A Brief Rundown of How Things Work in Fawcett City In This AU.

1.c) F’s in Math: Fawcett City Education Standards

1.d) Childlike Misconceptions (x40 I have so many ideas about this)

1.e) Fawcett City Food Culture

1.f) Plan to get Captain Marvel back into continuity in a way that's entertaining, makes sense, and would keep it relevant in the DCU while being able to keep more of it’s original Golden Age tone and make the worldbuilding so much cooler.

1.g) Currency of an allowance

1.h) Robbing Bank Customs

1.i) Issues With The Education System

1.j) Magic Taught In Fawcett Educational Programs

1.k) Medicine & Injury Differences In Fawcett Citizens

1.l) Ambient Knowledge of the Radio & Past Lives: Billy Batson

2.a) Booster Gold. An Exploration into a Modern Version Adaptation of His Online Rise to Fame and His Downfall

2.b) Booster Gold: TikTok Sensation (this is kinda fused with the one above but is more lighthearted in tone)

3) Booster Gold: The Backstory and Rant About an Underappreciated and Massively Relatable Hero.

4) Billy Theorizing Back.

5) Linda Finding Out She Had Twins (but retold based on a real story)

6) The Daily Planet’s Gossip Mill

7) The Worries of the Daily Planet Employees over the one & only Clark Kent/ The Daily Planet thinks Clark’s a Meta but for Different Reasons Than You Might Think.

8) Jimmy Olsen Needs Therapy

9) The Softness Behind A Mask

10) Office Gossip

11) An Electric Charge: All Powered Up

12) Psychic/telepathic Clark (apparently this was a fairly uncommon but still very much existing fan theory that I just thought of independently. But once I found out that it already existed, I lost hope and stopped writing it but it's Very much a theory I enjoy and love that explains literally most if not all of Clark’s abilities.

13) “You mean, you Don’t actually look human?!

14) SO MANY KRYPTONIAN BIOLOGY IDEAS:

14.a) FUN (x so many just give me a number and I’ll give you a certain amount of short prompts for kryptonian biology ideas)

14.b) Inconvenience for the Kents

14.c) Braces

14.d) Biology Discussion

14.e) Different Nutritional Needs. Turns Out Invulnerable Teeth Mean You Can Eat A Lot Of Weird Shit

14.f) Humans stood on two legs to punch things. Why the fuck did kryptonians have the same

14.g) Eyes: Windows To The Soul The Size Of An Orange

15) Man of Steel, Unable to Feel: The issue of Clark’s the association of pain with touch.

16) A brief complaint on the lack of depictions of Batman’s Diet and Workout Regimine in fics because there’s so much comedy potential

17) A Meal Even The Flash Won’t Eat: Bruce’s Protein Shakes

18) Inside-out Space and Time (Dissecting the rock of eternity & it’s ability to travel time without the Speed Force)

DP X DC:

18) Critique on DP x DC twin AU

19) Guide on realism in twin interactions for twin au fics & how twins actually work.

20) Jason Todd’s Fenton Family Reunion

21) Discussion of Theme Similarity of 90’s Superboy and the Danny Phantom Cartoon.

22) A Summoning Going Dead Wrong (an ask commandeered from @stealingyourbones that got stuck in WIP hell and is FINALLY nearly done. I just need someone to unfuck my formatting & it’s all set.)

23) Wait What Do You Mean There’s Two Of You?

24) DP x DC What Do You Mean You Thought This Was A Nuclear Blast Zone?: Explaining the Metagene’s Existence in Amity Park, How Amity Park Was Hidden from the DC World, and the Discovery of It Not Being A Wasteland.

25) A Brief Reminder of Death and Revival: Blood Blossoms in Gotham

Based off of this post (which I am making a reply to but i gotta generate more ideas that fit with the theme first. Got the lore part done tho which is nice)

26.a) Wally West trips into the Backrooms.. wait why’s it all floating and green?

26.b) Speedsters can get healed by GZ

26.c) Speedsters get hurt by GZ contact

26.d) Speedsters gain extra powers when in contact with GZ

26.e) Too Much Of A Good Thing: Ectoplasm Overload (Flash Family)

26.f) How The Fuck Is This Working: Bafflement of the Fenton’s Building Conventions (Flash)

26.g) Lichtenberg AU Flash x DC (x2)

27) Familiar Branching Scars: Lichtenberg AU Captain Marvel x DP where I go way into specifics of magical theory and magical lab procedure than I should’ve

28) Danny’s Not Alive: The Issues That Come With Collecting a Ghost’s DNA

29) Ambient Ectoplasm Quality Warning: Health effects can be immediately felt by sensative groups. Healthy individuals may experience difficulty breathing and throat irritation; consider staying indoors and rescheduling outdoor activities. Please retreat to the GZ for your own safety.

30) tired TA Peter Parker who works a job at a university sponsored lab doing microfluidics

31) College Wally West complaining to his friends about his lab job & the difficulties trying to be a “real scientist”

32) They didn’t tell you being a Clone would come with an inferiority complex and the necessity to tell everyone around you that Not The Same Person Don’t Compare Us (yet I still I want to stand by their side and not in their shadow). (Kon-El)

Brainworms i need to write but have them recorded in my audio app & not transcribed yet:

33) Dash & Booster Gold, Ex-Star Quarterbacks

34) Frozen in Time (DP and the Flash Family)

35) I’m Not the Black Flash!

36) Ghosts In Space (do x dc)

37) The Contrast of Life and Death (Flash Family x dp)

38) Inhuman amounts of Speed. (Flash)

39) Opposing Forces: Same Energy (flash family x dp)

40) Metagene: How the Activation of an Integrated Virus Changes That Much Shit if it Activates

41) A Ghost and An Alien Walk Into A Bar…ow

42) A Ghost from the Future: A Mentor in the Past (Bart Allen)

43) Billy Batson: learning magic theory

44) Jimmy Olsen: Traumatized Beyond Belief (Taos discussion about how the character is handled)

45) Jimmy Olsen: A Neglected Superfamily Core Member By The Fans

46) A Parental Bond and Parental Worry: Clark Kent & Jimmy Olson

47)  Trust and Betrayal: Clark Kent Losing a Child’s Trust

48) Help I Think I Accidentally Adopted A College Student What Do I Do

49) A Brief Dissection of the Broad Symbols the DC Hero’s Stand For and Goals they Want: Personal Characterization Help

50) Anger Feels The Same As Happiness (The Feeling Is Just As Intense) (Bart Allen)

51) Shadows of the Future, Traces of the Past: Bart Allen is Not Okay (YJ cartoon)

[amysosamybeloved]

sick fic one shot

the other superstore one shot i’ve posted is of jonah getting sick and amy looking after him

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30381813

[prouvaireafterdark]

20 Questions

20 questions, writer's edition, tagged by the lovely @queersirius 💜

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

68! Oh shit, now I’ve got an idea for the next one...

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

Just shy of 172k 

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

According to my AO3, I’ve written for three: RNM, Black Sails, The Old Guard. 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unsurprisingly, my top two are the only two fics I wrote for The Old Guard, and the other three are Malex fics (two Michael Sanders!)

1. All I See is You - Rated E - Joe is asked to seduce someone during a mission, and after nine hundred years of commitment, Nicky isn't even a little bit worried about it.

2. Pass - Rated T - Andy suggests starting with Italian, but there are some things Nile never wants to understand, and whatever Joe just said to make Nicky turn that shade of pink is absolutely one of them.

3. Temporary Wounds - Rated T - When Alex brings his new boyfriend to the Wild Pony, Michael could really use a friend.

4. Caught in the Moment - Rated E - Five times Michael Sanders’ dad almost walked in on him with Alex and one time he did.

5. A Father Like That - Rated T - Walt Sanders comes home to find his son's boyfriend covered in bruises.

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Nothing Lasts Forever (But He Makes Me Wanna Try) by about a mile - As a general rule, I don’t write things with angsty endings, but this one’s a canon compliant Lost Decade (smut) fic, so I didn’t really have a choice.

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Oh jeez. This one’s hard. So many of my fics have happy endings

uh..

Would it be completely inappropriate of me to suggest Coming Home AKA the Open Mic Night Blow Job fic? That one’s got a pretty sappy ending...

or Shotgun Kisses AKA the Nostalgic Weed fic?

or maybe Yours to Keep, that one’s just like 8k words of Michael worshipping Alex after he has a nightmare (beware the 2x06 salt in the nightmare prequel tho)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

No, I’m not really a fan of crossovers unfortunately

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Um, yes, lol. I write all kinds, but I’d say my signature brand is smut with as much dirty talk as there are feelings.

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I used to be pretty good at responding to comments but lately I’m the worst, I’m sorry 😭 I really do appreciate every one, but sometimes I’m just busy and then forget and suddenly a week or two has gone by and I’m like... shit... is it awkward if I reply now?

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I can think of?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

LMAOOOOOO

Yes, yes, I have, because Wattpad is apparently a cesspool of thieves with nothing better to do than steal other people’s work.  

Pro-tip: if you haven’t explicitly asked an author if you can copy-paste their work to another site and received a message back from them that says they’re good with it, maybe don’t fucking do that

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! I had an offer once for someone to translate some fics into Russian, but I forgot to reply lol 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! I used to be on some forums back in the day and I co-wrote some stuff with an online friend of mine. It was fun!

14. What's your all time favourite ship to write for?

Malex :) Though there’s lots of others that I enjoy reading more right now

15. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I mean I’ve got a ton sitting in my files, but I think the big one is the Michael Sanders series. Not because I’ll get bored of it, but because I feel like there are so many opportunities to expand it and I don’t think I’ll ever really be done with it. Does that make sense?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Pretty great at dialogue and writing physical and emotional intimacy

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m absolute shit at writing descriptions of like the scenery. I have a pretty clear idea of what it all looks like it my head, but tbh... when you’re reading smut, do you really care what color the curtains are?

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did Google Translate the Italian in All I See is You, but I think if I was going to write that fic again I would just put it all in English italics and use the dialogue tags to say what language it was because it can take you out of the fic if you have to keep like copy pasting it into a translator

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh man... well, I wrote a short sequel to the Rocky Horror Picture Show when I was in middle school for a class once. Does that count?

20. What's your favourite fic you've written?

Maybe Caught in the Moment? It’s just so fun and has a really great ending, imo

idk who else has done this already, so I’m just gonna leave this open: if you’re a writer and want to do this meme, do it and tag me!

[electricshoebox]

writing tag

Tagged by the lovely @adventuresofmeghatron, thank you!

Tagging: @junemermaid, @molliehaswords, @desynchimminent, @valkyriejack, and @mercurymiscellany​, if you’d like to do it!

1.  How many works do you have on AO3? 

39. Holy shit. 

2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?

533,274 words. Holy shit.

3. What are you top 5 fics by kudos?

How to Share a Bed Without Killing Each Other: a Love Story (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, 5 Chapters, Complete) The trials and tribulations of literally sleeping together.

Rivers in the Sand (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) The Hissing Wastes unsettles Bull’s memories, and when he and Dorian are trapped together by a fallen pillar, Dorian helps him deal.

a soft place to land (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) When a letter from his father sets him off, Dorian turns to Bull for a distraction.

Always Good at Bad Ideas  (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) Bull gets injured fighting a dragon, which leaves Dorian frantic enough to blurt out the one thing he was trying to keep to himself.

Flashpoint (Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dorian/Iron Bull, Oneshot, Complete) “One time he got so excited he set the curtains on fire.”

4. Do you respond to comments?  Why or why not? 

Yes, always! I’ve seen various opinions on whether authors should, but to me, engaging with and getting excited with readers is half the fun and half the point. I also just really want people to know how much it means to me not only that they read, but that they take the time to leave a comment. Comments are hard to write. I completely sympathize with that, sometimes you just don’t know what to say or how to say it, and I absolutely don’t begrudge anyone that doesn’t. It just means a lot to me when people do, even when it’s literally just “This was cool!” or something, and I want them to know that it’s appreciated!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm. I guess that sort of depends on your definition of angsty. None of them have directly tragic endings, it’s just not in me to write that way, but I have one or two with open or less definitely, obviously happy endings. The rarepair DA2 oneshot I wrote for Merrill/Orana, Counting the Cost, has the most open ending, left completely up to interpretation. The Inception AU DAI fic I wrote for Dorian/Bull, In the Shadow of Dreams, has what I think of as an optimistic ending, and less a happy one. I tried to end that one with more romance, but it just didn’t fit the tone of the rest of the fic, so a quiet ending that signals a road to recovery was what I chose instead.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Most all of my oneshots have pretty happy endings. I guess I’m tempted say A Line in the Sand, my Deacon/MacCready start-from-scratch slow burn novel, just because it goes from antagonists to lovers and has the longest road with the most earned happy ending. I feel like the long struggle to get there makes it feel happier. 

7. Do you write crossovers?  If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really. Instead I’m sometimes tempted into AUs based on other media, but not full blown crossovers with actual different characters meeting. Even then, I’m really picky in what I enjoy. I’ve only written one, the Inception AU for Dragon Age that I mentioned above. Honestly, it requires no knowledge of Inception at all. I really just stole a bunch of concepts from it and then made my own modernized Thedas around them.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully no! I’ve received one or two kind of odd comments, but otherwise I’ve been very lucky and everyone’s been really nice.

9.  Do you write smut?  If so, what kind?

Hell yeah! I’ve written many kinds, really, whatever I feel like or whatever fits the fic. I’ve done plenty of your typical smut. I branched out into light BDSM with several of my Dorian/Bull fics, as well as waxplay and praise kink. I’ve also done some roleplay in the vein of “established relationship pretending to be strangers meeting at a bar” for Deacon/MacCready with By Any Other Name.

10.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. 

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have! Two of my Dorian/Bull fics, Wishing Stars and No Patron Saint of Silent Restraint, both by the same lovely person: landanding on AO3. I don’t think I stopped flailing for a solid day when I got the request for permission either time.

12.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not since pre-AO3 days, beyond collaborating in a tabletop setting. I’m not completely opposed to the idea but it would have to be someone I felt really, really comfortable with and with whom I have really good communication. I’m really particular about my writing, and I’d need to know someone’s emotional comfort level with trading and changing and even eliminating ideas.

13.  What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Oh god that’s honestly really hard. I’ve written the most for Dorian/Bull and that ship will always have a special place in my heart. But I did write my first full-length novel for Deacon/MacCready, and they’ve already got me in the middle of my second. So they’re the ship that taught me I could do that, and they’re my beloved rarepair. There are a few more I absolutely love, but I think those are my top two right now.

14.  What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Definitely Uprising. It was the first time I tried longform fic, and it was meant to be an entire retelling of DA2 with Velanna as the Justice-bearing character, rather than Anders, because after learning the developers almost took DA2 in that direction, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I had a lot of plans for it, for how Justice might develop differently, for what it might have looked like if elves had been more of the battleground issue instead of mages vs. templars, for some angsty bittersweet long distance Nathaniel/Velanna and some complicated Fenris/Hawke and Merrill/Orana. But I drifted away from Dragon Age fandom in interest a long time ago, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get the steam back for it. I’m proud of how far I did get, though.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I feel pretty confident with dialogue, I can usually make a scene flow with it pretty well and I spend a lot of time trying to be meticulous about character voice. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback on my descriptions, which I appreciate and wouldn’t have considered a strength, but my readers have been kind. I think I’m pretty good at including body language, too, though maybe to a fault.

16.  What are you writing weaknesses?

Much as people have been kind on the feedback, I really feel like action scenes are a weakness for me. I don’t enjoy writing them and I struggle a lot to make them feel like they’re flowing over just bulletpointing. I also feel like I struggle to make them exciting. I feel like I struggle with exposition scenes as well, and keeping them interesting over info-dumping. 

17.  What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’m generally in favor of including them, but with the caution of doing thorough research if it’s not a language I speak. I shy away from it if I can’t be completely sure it’s accurate, because I don’t want to risk putting off a native speaker reader, or saying/doing something offensive. I’d expand that to include anything about another culture, really. For example, I’ve been slowly picking away at writing a Fallout fic for my Sole Survivor Anthony and Preston, and part of what has been slow going is just making sure I’m getting Anthony’s culture right. His parents immigrated from Vietnam, and I want his experiences with them and with his culture to be as accurate and respectful as possible, not falling into any stereotypes but also being allowed to be complicated. 

18.  What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Depends on what we’re measuring. The first fandom I ever wrote fic for of any kind was Sailor Moon. The first fandom I actually put fic on the internet for was Lord of the Rings, on good old fanfiction.net. The first fandom I published on AO3 for was Dragon Age.

19.  What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

God this is such a hard question to answer, my feelings on my writing change so often. I think it’s hard for A Line in the Sand not to be my favorite for the reasons I’ve already mentioned, it’s my first successful novel-length fic, I accomplished a lot with it and learned a lot from it, and it’s a rarepair I got to kind of develop from scratch in my own way. 

But if I look back at my whole repertoire so far, just to branch out from the usual answer, I’d say I’m also really fond of To Have and to Hold, which was the first time I ever participated in a minibang, or really any kind of writing challenge. It’s a Dorian/Bull established relationship fic set during Trespasser, and it’s kind of a meditation on Dorian’s past and present and how they’ve shaped his feelings on love and commitment and marriage, all while he’s trying to decide his future. I’m proud of how it came out, and I think my Dorian voice still holds up okay. Plus I had two incredible artists working with me who put together stunning work for it, and how could I not be super grateful for that? 

It’s funny, most of the top ones up there for kudos are ones that I don’t personally think are my best, it’s a lot of my very early offerings for Dorian/Bull that I think I could improve on a lot of if I tackled them now. I’m grateful people like them but I feel like they’re more an accident of timing, being published early in the ship’s popularity. 

[amandagaelic]

Fanfic Tag (bc, Sunday)

I was tagged by @waitingforthestarstofall and @disappearinginq who are two of my favorite enablers over here. And according to at least one of them, there are no rules in this game, which means my replying many moons later is all good (right?). 

Questions:

Ao3 Name: gaelicspirit (same on FF.net)

Fandoms: Supernatural, The Young Riders, White Collar, Hawaii Five-0, Sons of Anarchy (all only on FF.net), The Musketeers, Daredevil, Teen Wolf, Timeless, MacGyver, Magnum, P.I. (on both Ao3 and FF.net)

Number of fics: 75 (+ 1 WIP)

1. Fic you spent the most time on: From Yesterday

2. Fic you spent the least time on: Raincheck

3. Longest Fic:  From Yesterday   (286,050 words)

4. Shortest Fic: Sacrifice (2,315 words)

5. Most hits: Devil to Pay (on Ao3...no clue on FF.net)

6. Most kudos: Devil’s Own (huh, I’ve never compared these stats before...maybe I should write more Daredevil)

7. Most comment threads:  Devil’s Own (on Ao3), Ramble On (on FF.net)

8. Fave Fic you wrote: This is a toughie. I love them all when I’m writing them...I think maybe it’s a 3-way tie between War Scars, From Yesterday, and Conairt. The first two were as AU as I generally get (I’ve a tendency to be a bit canon-bound) and that was fun to explore possibilities with those characters, and the 3rd was basically the story I wanted to read but couldn’t find anywhere...so I wrote it myself. 

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: Hmmm. I don’t know that I’d actually rewrite any of them. They exist in my mind the moment they’re being created and then once out there in the world for all to see, that’s who they are, scars and all. I have occasionally thought about expanding on my White Collar story, Fortunate Son to explore what happened next. Though, now that the show has ended, it would be 100% AU. I guess anything I would really want to take further would be a new story in and of itself, so it wouldn’t really count as “expanding” on it. 

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:

I started another MacGyver fic last weekend called “Hello to the Night.” I’m about 25K-ish words into it and still playing it out. It’s a bit of pandemic therapy for me, to be honest. It’s really hard to get out of my own head these days, it seems.  Premise: Set  around S4 episodes 9 and 10. Turns out emotional trauma + concussions + experimental drugs don’t mix quite as easily as one might think. Mac’s dark side does more than toss him a creepy grin from the other side of a window when getting “lost in his head” is taken up a notch.

Excerpt:

Another streak of light cut like a white-hot tracer bullet across the darkest part of the sky.

“You out here making wishes on shooting stars?” Bozer asked, tapping the back of his fingers into the palm of his opposite hand.

It caught his attention then that Mac was clad only in a T-shirt and shorts; it almost looked like they were the clothes he’d gone to sleep in, not grabbed for a planned midnight run.

“These aren’t stars,” Mac corrected him, his voice sounding strangely detached from the moment. “That light is caused by dust and rock falling through the atmosphere and burning up—happens when the Earth passes through a trail of debris left by a comet as it orbits the Sun.”

Bozer felt his mouth tug up in a reflexive grin. “Is that right?”

“My dad gave me my first telescope when I was eight,” Mac continued in the same, oddly modulated tone, as if he were speaking in a dream. “Showed me how to find the constellations, track comets. I took it apart one day and he wouldn’t help me put it back together again. Said I obviously needed to know how it worked, so I should figure it out.”

Bozer remembered that telescope. He remembered James MacGyver’s stern face as Mac worked to rebuild it from the collection of parts scattered around them in piles organized by size and use. He remembered fearing that face.

“I did, too. Figure it out.”

“Yeah, I know, man,” Bozer smiled, watching Mac watch the starts. He frowned a little when he saw a hard shiver chase its way through Mac’s slim frame, though the blond man didn’t seem to notice.

“It’s like they were mine, y’know?”

Bozer’s frown deepened. “What—”

“And for a little bit there, it felt like he gave them to me,” Mac continued as though Bozer hadn’t spoken. “Like the whole universe was mine because he let me see it. But…,” Mac shook his head, his eyes distant as they tracked down from the sky and skimmed the horizon in front of them. “Then he took them away. He took them with him when he left. And I can’t figure out how to get them back. I keep trying, but…they’re just…,” he looked back up at the night sky, “they’re so far away.”

Bozer reached out and rested his fingertips on Mac’s bare arm, flinching back a little when he felt how chilled his friend’s skin was. He couldn’t see it before, but with that touch he realized Mac was shivering consistently now.

“Hey, Mac, you okay, man?”

Mac blinked, looking down at Bozer’s fingers on his arm, then frowned. He glanced around him slowly, tracking over to his left until their eyes met.

“Bozer?”

“Yeah?”

“What…what are you doing here?”

Bozer blinked, his eyebrows climbing his forehead. He tightened his grip on Mac, wrapping his fingers around his friend’s forearm until he felt the other man’s shivers through the bones of his hand.

“I was looking for you,” Bozer said truthfully, trying to keep the worry from his voice as he watched Mac look around him, over his shoulder to where the Griffith’s domed building loomed in the shadows, then back across the dark horizon to the lights of Los Angeles. “You decide to go for a midnight run or something?”

Mac swallowed hard, reaching up with a trembling hand to rub at his forehead. Bozer recalled his tired voice claiming his headache had a headache earlier that day—no, last night—in the lab. He dropped his hand and looked around again and Bozer realized what he was seeing was a growing awareness and recognition—and it frightened him.

“What the hell are we doing out here?” Mac asked, his voice sounding thin, baffled.

“Mac,” Bozer gripped his arm tighter. “I found you out here.”

Mac looked at him, blue eyes cloudy with confusion. “What?”

“I found you, man.”

Mac darted his tongue out, wetting dry lips, his shivering increasing until Bozer saw his teeth start to chatter.

“I don’t…I don’t remember…,” he shook his head. “I don’t remember leaving the house.”

Bozer folded his lower lip against his teeth, biting it to keep whatever noise that wanted to escape a prisoner. “Well, how ‘bout we head back there now?”

Mac nodded shakily and moved to slide off the fence. Bozer saw in a split second the ground was too far below him for Mac to land safely. He thrust out his arm and braced his friend, swinging his leg back over the fence to the paved walkway and pulling Mac backwards with him. Mac scrambled to find his footing, standing on trembling legs as he gripped Bozer’s shoulders.

“Holy shit,” Mac took a stuttering breath as if he’d forgotten that was what his lungs were supposed to do, straightening slowly. “How the hell did I…?”

Bozer shook his head. “How about we don’t worry about that right now, huh?”

Mac nodded, his eyes still on the drop-off on the other side of the fence.

“C’mon, man,” Bozer turned Mac toward the parking lot, keeping one hand on his friend’s arm, the other on his lower back. “It’s late and I’m cold.” He wasn’t, but it was always easier to get Mac to act if he was doing so on behalf of someone else.

“Yeah,” Mac nodded. “Yeah, sure, of course. Boze, I’m—”

“Don’t,” Bozer pushed him gently forward. “Don’t worry about it, man. Yesterday was weird for everybody.”

“Yesterday?” Mac asked, the word tripping out on a faltering breath as his shivers increased.

Bozer pressed his fingertips harder into Mac’s lower back, feeling the corded muscles there tighten against the pressure. “Yeah, y’know…crazy DARPA drug, Tesla weapon….”

“That was yesterday?” Mac asked, blinking owlishly at him.

“Time flies when you’re trippin’, man.”

Mac didn’t reply and didn’t resist as Bozer continued to guide him toward the parking lot. He stumbled over his own feet—any coltish grace that once guided him having vacated in the wake of whatever this was. Bozer steadied him, noting that while Mac didn’t quite lean into him, he needed the support.

“Easy, man,” Bozer wrapped an arm around Mac’s slim waist, pulling him flush against his side. “You’re moving like me after a night of whiskey.”

“That…doesn’t sound good,” Mac returned in the same spacey, confused tone. “You make some pretty bad choices ‘cause of whiskey.”

As they reached the car, Bozer shifted his hip to keep Mac propped up, pulling the passenger door open and maneuvering his friend into the seat.

“Yeah, well,” he reached across Mac’s shivering form to fasten his seat belt, “in whiskey’s defense, I’ve also made some pretty questionable choices completely sober.”

Mac huffed a semi-amused chuckle, his head dropping back against the seat. Bozer jogged around the back of the car to climb behind the wheel.

“Let’s crank that heat up, how ‘bout—” Bozer stopped as he glanced over and saw Mac had quite literally passed out, head tilted against the window.

His hands lay lax in his lap, fingers curled toward his palms, the left one twitching in what looked like an attempt to reach out, but not quite getting there.

“Jesus, Mac,” Bozer breathed, turning up the heat anyway as his friend shivered even in his sleep. He shrugged out of his hoodie, draping it over Mac’s bare arms and t-shirt covered torso.

Tagging: Okay, if you’ve already been tagged--or literally have no interest in this--feel free to ignore. This is a bit of a free-for-all here. @thethistlegirl @impossiblepluto @flowing-river24 @panchostokes @nativestarwrites @beamirang @21forestglades @blazeofobscurity @angus-mac-intosh @purplecolouredglasses @writtenbyblair @dashboardonfire @bands-space-and-monsters-oh-my @macgyverfever @thekristen999

[disappearinginq]

fanfic tag game

I was tagged by @waitingforthestarstofall - this will be a good distraction from rage (SO MUCH RAGE) Thanks!

Questions:

Ao3 Name: IceQueen1 (same on FFN)

Fandoms: Oh damn. Umm...written for: Agents of SHIELD, and the 100 which I actively avoid now, even if those were some of my favorite works; Lucifer, Constantine, Supernatural, Magnum PI 2018, Deception, Common Law, Daredevil, Iron Fist, Merlin, MCU-ish, Doctor Who. Unpublished: Prodigal Son and Outer Banks and one crossover with MacGyver 2016. 

Number of fics: Well...depends on how you count. Posted or with every intention of posting - 56, though some of those are from when I was like 14 (it shows, but I like them and they’re valuable learning tool). Unpublished and snippets here and there...::nervous laugh:: 109?

1. Fic you spent the most time on: Toss up between  Wrong Side of Heaven,  Damnatio Memoriae (which has given me the worst case of imposter syndrome I kind of cry every time I look at it), and  Running Up That Hill

2. Fic you spent the least time on:  Catalyst - literally wrote it on an illegal lunch break on a computer that wasn’t mine and posted it on a government computer. 

3. Longest Fic: Huh. Apparently not Damnatio, but  Running Up That Hill, at an impressive 104k words in the Agents of SHIELD fandom. 

4. Shortest Fic:  Promises to the Dead in Supernatural fandom. 

5. Most hits: Even without combining from FFN and AO3 - Damnatio Memoriae

6. Most kudos: Damnatio Memoriae

7. Most comment threads: Damnatio Memoriae (see a trend?)

8. Fave Fic you wrote: This is like picking favorite pets. Um, actually, despite the headaches they’ve given me, Damnatio ties with  Left Behind. Both unfinished (Left Behind because I got so pissed at the 100 I stopped watching), and Damnatio because I have nightmares about it, but I think I like my writing in those two the most. Very close third is Wrong Side. 

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on:  Remedy or  Cecidit Angelus

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:

You need to know the answer to this is 9. Possibly more. But there’s part of Damnatio: 

Lucifer looked…haggard. Tired in a way she’s never seen him before, dark shadows under even darker eyes, his normally immaculate appearance disheveled as if he’d been on a bender since the last time she saw him. He didn’t stand up straight, slightly hunched over and cockeyed, though that could just as easily be because he was standing on loose sand. It could also be from the handle of scotch held loosely in one hand, more than two thirds empty. His five o’clock shadow was more like like 12 o’clock, and his hair free of product ruffled in the breeze. “You rang?” he asked, one corner of his mouth twitching as if he meant to smile as his own joke but couldn’t be bothered with the effort. He swayed on his feet before righting himself. “I was wondering how long it would take you to try this.” Chloe could smell the alcohol on him ten feet away, even in the breeze coming off the ocean. “What happened to you?” Lucifer laughed at that. It was high pitched, bordering on manic, and he scrubbed a hand over his face, his fingers scraping along the rough stubble on his cheeks. “I…I don’t know how to answer that, Detective.” He held up the scotch, violently shaking it back and forth. “To quote a younger sibling of mine - ‘I found a liquor store, and I drank it’.”

An unnamed Outer Banks fic: 

JJ scoffed at that, wincing as the sudden movement jostled his ribs. “Yeah. An adult. The last thing I need right now is an adult.” He seemed to consider that for a moment. “Though…I guess there are a couple things I could need less. A snake bite. Or a jellyfish sting. Or a missing leg. Or -” “Dammit kid,” Shoupe interrupted, not caring where the list was headed. “This isn’t a game. You can’t do this on your own, you’re barely sixteen. You can’t take care of yourself at sixteen, and if this isn’t proof enough of that, I don’t know what is. You need an adult -” JJ’s electric blue eyes narrowed as he stared at him, lower bloodied lip pinched between his teeth. “Yeah? You mean the like adults who looked the other way for eight years when I came to school with black eyes and broken bones and the same clothes for weeks on end? Or the adult who gave me those black eyes and broken bones? Or do you mean the adult who killed my best friend? Or the adult who aided and abetted said adult who killed my best friend? Or the adult who tried to rob us at gunpoint. Or maybe you mean the adults who stole money from a crime scene to ‘dip their beak’? Those adults? Are those the fucking adults you mean, Shoupe? ‘Cause if not, I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. I’ll take my chances. From where I’m sitting, I’m not doing any worse.” Shoupe ran an appraising eye over the kid. “I doubt that.” “The bar is pretty fucking low, Sheriff.” “You came here though, didn’t you?” JJ glared at him before turning away a muttering, “Don’t read too much into it. Robbing the CVS would’ve been a little hard to do without a getaway car.” Shoupe didn’t miss the way the kid avoided mentioning the long, ragged looking cut down the front of his left leg. “And none of your friends have first aid kits?” JJ steadfastly ignored him, ignored the way that his leg was beginning to bounce against the ceramic of the tub side as he dabbed ineffectively at the blood. “Hmm?” JJ bit his lip, whether from his less than gentle ministrations or to keep from snapping back, Shoupe couldn’t tell. Probably a toss up. “Nothing you want to say for yourself?” With a snarl, JJ whirled on him. “I can’t go to them, okay? I can’t drag them into this shit with me. Pope already lost his ticket out of here, and Kie -” he didn’t finish the thought, but there was something hard and broken in his voice as it suddenly wavered. “This is on me. I did this. So I deal with this. And I don’t drag them down with me. No one else drowns because of me.” And there it was. JJ Maybanks and John B Routledge were thicker than thieves and where one was, the other wasn’t far behind, and it’d been that way ever since Shoupe joined the Kildare Sheriff’s Department. Hell, half his calls were responding to something they’d done - a particularly memorable one being an impromptu fireworks display inside the gym when Fourth of July was rained out. What happened when one half of you was suddenly gone?

And Bad Things

The dog bit down, hard, on Rick’s forearm, teeth sinking into skin and muscle until they hit bone, the dog violently shaking its head as Rick tried to pry the dog loose with his other hand, still caught in the rifle strap. He could still hear gunfire, could still hear the lieutenant yelling at the man, but what he could hear louder than anything else was the sound of the power drill and the kid screaming in agony.  

And Wrong Side

Rick tried not to think about the disaster that was his first mission as Thomas’s Overwatch. He hadn’t had much in the way of experience with SEALs, not firsthand. Marines and Navy rarely overreached during missions and centuries long tradition of hating each other kept most at arms length from each other, even back on base. Rick had plenty of experience keeping people away from him even before the Marines, but Thomas didn’t seem to take the hint. It hadn’t helped that Nuzo and TC hit it off almost instantly, and TC was less opposed to being friends with the walking ray of sunshine that was Thomas Magnum, which just made Rick all the more determined to hate the guy. It wasn’t until after their haywire mission that’d gone to Hell six ways from Sunday that Rick finally understood Thomas Sullivan Magnum. That his relaxed and affable nature wasn’t an act, and that he would bend over backwards to help anyone - anyone - regardless of whether or not he was supposed to. That he never bothered with anyone’s past, and never offered his own, because as far as he was concerned, here and now was all that mattered. That for seeming generally oblivious, the younger man missed nothing. And for all that easy going ‘rain is just another kind of good weather’ attitude, it hid a seriously terrifying alter ego.

And there’s another Prodigal Son (or two), I don’’t even want to count how many other Magnum’s, Lucifer, or random things that catch my attention because that is HOW I ROLL. 

Anyway. 

Tagging: @dragonnan, @beguilewritesstuff, @buckky, @itsjustdg, @21forestglades, @aliathewriter and whoever else wants to play, because Tumblr is being dumb and won’t let me tag anyone else (also, don’t feel obligated if you are tagged and don’t want to - I’m just hella nosy about sneak peeks) 

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Fic Writer Game

Tagged by: @drarryruinedme7 Thank you! These games are so much fun 💜

AO3 name: Cassiara

Fandoms: Harry Potter is the only one I write for, and pretty much the only thing I read. I’ll write and read different pairings, but at least 1/3 of my fics are Drarry.

Tropes: My faves to write (based on what I’ve actually written) are probably mutual pining, hurt/comfort, pining, coming out/realising sexuality, smut (with or without feelings) and angst. Things that I love and want to write are fake-dating, forced proximity and bonding. And probably more 😅

Number of fics: I have 31 fics posted on ao3. I have a few drabbles up on tumblr/pillowfort/dreamwith too, but those kinda get lost eventually so idk how many there are. Maybe 10?

Fic I spent the most time on:

So, I have this one: Though My Mind Could Think (I still was a mad man) (87k) that is both my longest fic, and that’s like the third rewrite of a fic I started writing in 2011 or something. So in a way it was 8 years in the making. The actual writing of the fic itself took me about a year.

Then I have Empty Parts (6k) that took me like 3 months of constant rewriting. Some fics just flow and some definetly don’t 😅 I’ve probably spent longer on other fics, but this one felt like so much work it deserved a mention.

Fic I spent less time on:

My kinktober fics from 2019. The majority of them took me somewhere between 4 hours - 2 days.

Longest fic: Though My Mind Could Think (I still was a mad man) (87k)

Shortest: On ao3 it’s In The Mirror (614 words)

Most hits/kudos/comments thread/bookmarks:

Most Hits/kudos/bookmarks is for Blue Roses and Other Impossible Things (40k)

Most comment threads is for Though My Mind Could Think (I still was a mad man) (87k)

Total word count: 356.807 (holy shit that’s more than I thought it was)

Fic you want to rewrite or expand: Hmm, well Though My Mind Could Think was a rewrite of Favourite Scar, and I’m very glad I did a re-write on that. I have a few fics I might write a small sequel for one day and this is one of them. The others are:

Velvet and Consent (Drarry, 4k)

A Long Line of Fine (Harry/Ron - though the sequel wouldn’t be. 2k)

(And ofc I aim to one day finish my WIPs, but I prefer to forget they excist at the moment 😅)

Fave fic you wrote: Hair Pulled by the Stars (Drarry, 43k) is my favorite of my fics. At least my favourite to read. I have strong feelings about Though My Mind Could Think too, because it’s very personal and it took a lot to write it - but I think my favourite has to be Hair Pulled by the Stars.

Share a bit of your wip or idea if you have anything planned:

Ginny scoots closer to her girlfriend the second she sees the look on Harry’s face and with a grateful sigh Harry crawls into bed next to them.

“What’s wrong?” Ginny asks. Pansy sighs and moves closer to the edge of the bed so they’ll all fit properly. 

“I’ll have to start bringing Draco around more so I’m not constantly being the third wheel to whatever fucked up bi-cycle you two have going on,” she says, but doesn’t get out of the bed like she had the first couple of times. “And yes, that was indeed a bi pun.”

Harry grabs a pillow off the bed and screams into it before putting it underneath his head and staring at the ceiling.

“Oh, come off it Potter, my puns aren’t that bad,” Pansy huffs.

Harry turns to smile at her. “They’re about as good as I am at relationships.” 

“My puns are not catastrophically bad!”

This one will hopefully turn into a drarry queerplatonic fic one day 🤞🏻

I have no idea who to tag in this so if you’re still reading this concider yourself tagged by me. Please make a post and say I tagged you 😄 I’d love to see it!

[amethystina]

We need to talk about “Please continue this fic” comments

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who has read my fics, commented, recced, and left kudos. You are all amazing and I am so very grateful.

BUT, we really need to talk about this habit of constantly asking for more content. I mean comments like “you must continue this!” or “you have to write what happens next!” or “how can you stop there?!”

I’m well aware that these comments are often meant as compliments, but, to many writers — me included — they’re not. No matter how well-meaning, they don’t read the same to us writers as they do to the one commenting. While this person is trying to show their excitement, it often come across as greedy, selfish, and insulting to us writers.

For me, this has gotten much worse in the past couple of months. I have been bombarded by comments like these on fics marked as finished (so no, they’re not even WIPs I’m in the process of posting) and even some creative ones saying they almost wished I hadn’t posted at all if I wasn’t going to finish it the way they wanted me to. I’m not referring to a specific person or a particular fandom — it’s everywhere, unfortunately, from many different commenters — and this post is just me trying to sort through my thoughts on the matter.

Here’s what I have to say:

1. It’s not a compliment I will repeat this as many times as I have to. It’s NOT a compliment. Only about 5% of the comments I’ve gotten with this kind of content has managed to pull off making it an actual compliment and that was only because it was a small part of a longer, more in-depth comment. A lot of people would never put that much effort into it, however.

2. I don’t owe my readers anything I write for fun, because I like it. I post my works because I want to share them with you all in hope that someone will enjoy them. I could just as easily not post what I write since posting has become so anxiety-inducing that I dread reading comments. About a third of them are demands I “finish” stories already marked as complete because, apparently, my ending wasn’t good enough. But, despite this, fact remains that I do this for me and I don’t have to cater to anyone else.

3. The comments have the opposite effect When each new fic I post is met with demands to write more, the only thing that will happen is that I will feel less eager to write and post. If I’m constantly being asked for more, even when I have nothing left to give, eventually, the mere thought of writing will start giving me panic attacks. I feel wrung out, not appreciated, and feeling pride in finishing a project is difficult when my readers keep telling me they don’t think I’m finished. In short, the last thing I feel like doing when I get these comments is to write more.

4. The comments are an insult to my writing If I have marked the fic as complete, it’s because I deem it finished. I don’t have anything to add and someone demanding more isn’t likely to change that. When I write, I do so with the plot and pacing in mind and my endings are never impulse decisions. Trust me when I say that the story is finished — drawing it out for the sake of length won’t make anyone happy.

5. I feel taken for granted When a comment says “I need more!” and nothing else, I have no idea what the reader actually thinks of my writing, just that they want more. And that is, despite what some might think, not a compliment. It makes it seem like anything will do, that what I have already given was barely worthy of note and already forgotten, and that I exist only to meet their next fix. It’s like I’m trying to fill a void and it doesn’t matter what I toss in there, as long as it’s something. That’s not very encouraging or motivating.

6. The comments are disrespectful and selfish Even when I politely ask people not to demand more (because of the aforementioned anxiety) far too many ignore me and do so anyway. Despite explaning in my author’s comments that, yes, this story could be expanded but I can’t because of my mental health, I still get comments telling me I should. Because their enjoyment is apparently more important than my mental health? The lack of respect for me and my well-being is baffling and I feel like these people don’t really understand that there’s a person behind all these words and she’s fucking tired of getting panic attacks about this. Panic attacks THEY can prevent.

7. I value my mental health more than popularity/people’s opinion Writers are often told to be grateful for whatever amount of attention they can get, be it comments, kudos, or views. Therefore, we shouldn’t complain about getting the wrong kind of comments unless we want to lose readers. Fuck that, I say — not at the expense of my well-being. I have too much integrity to give a shit about what everyone thinks of me. Because, as stated above, I don’t owe my readers anything in terms of producing content. Naturally, that means they don’t owe me anything in terms of comments, views, or kudos, either, and that’s fine. What they DO owe me, however — what we owe each other — is to be kind and polite with each other, unless there’s a really good reason not to be. Telling me to ignore my panic attacks so that they get more to read is not one of those times.

8. Take responsibility and be a decent human being, please Again, I want to repeat that I know that these comments are intended as compliments. I know some of you have written them without knowing it can hurt authors and I’m not trying to scare you off from commenting. Just know that your words have an impact — probably more so than you know — and think twice before doing it again. The fandom community is a wonderful place and it’s up to us to make it as safe and friendly as possible for content creators and consumers alike. Do your part and I’ll do mine.

Finally, to conclude this very long and ranty post in a properly dramatic fashion:

I am officially on a hiatus from posting. 

The only exceptions will be the two Trading Losers fics I still have to finish. Everything else will wait until I feel I can post without risking more panic attacks and anxiety. This is not to punish my readers — you are wonderfully supportive and I love you all — but because I need a break. Writing feels like a chore right now and that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I need some time on my own to figure this out, before the pressure kills my creativity entirely. I’ll still be available online and all that, I just won’t post any fics.

Thank you for all the lovely support. You’re all amazing <3

- Amethystina

[veliseraptor]

2018 Fanfiction Round-Up

Total Year-Long Wordcount: According to my spreadsheet, it’s 523,355 words, which does also include some essay writing and original fiction but is by and large fic.

This year I wrote and posted: Roughly, 119 fics? This is not, probably, a correct calculation, as it probably includes multiple chapters of Life in Reverse/Halfway House as separate fics, and the entirety of like the restless sea (not all of which I wrote this year), but I don’t feel like doing more math. It’s almost 12 pages on Tumblr.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? A little less than last year, but on the other hand...idk, I don’t tend to think about my year in terms of how much fic I’m writing while I’m in the middle of it. Honestly if I did I’d probably be a happier person who was less often like “OH NO I’M NOT WRITING ENOUGH.” That’s what’s nice about this meme - it really provides me with perspective.

So, like, technically I wrote less than I did last year, and that is not surprising considering the shape my life took this year (job meltdown, new job, three weeks of bedbug crisis), but...I still wrote a lot, especially with all of that considered, and wrote a lot better, I think.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? WELL I DIDN’T SEE MYSELF COMING BACK TO DOCTRINE OF LABYRINTHS IN FORCE BUT HERE I AM WITH FIVE NEW WIPS

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Man, I don’t know. There are a number of things that I’m pleased that I did for different reasons? Like, Will to Live feels like an accomplishment. But do I count finishing Life in Reverse for this year? Or the fact that I think Steve Rogers’ Halfway House for Notorious Supervillains remains one of the better written things I’m putting out (also possibly the best title)?

Maybe I’ll settle with it’s the season of possible miracle cures because that fic has been six years in the making and I finally got Steve and Loki married and it was the sappiest thing ever and I stand by it. Also I made myself emotional while I was writing it, which is usually a good sign.

OH NO ACTUALLY how could I forget? I think it’s the enemy of my enemy. I’ve missed writing Clint and Loki, and that fic was so fun to write, and now I want a whole AU of it. I’m like. Deep into a second chapter and have no idea where it’s going but I’m going with it.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I sure did write a lot of second person. I feel like that doesn’t count as a risk per se, though, because every case where I did it...I did it because it felt like the story needed to be in that point of view? I mean, I wrestled with off to the races trying to write it in third person limited like usual and it just...really wanted to be in second person. So basically - does it count as a risk if it wasn’t something I chose to do?

Otherwise...I feel like I’m not a very adventurous writer most of the time. It’s one of the things I don’t love about myself as a writer.

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: Cutting out Life in Reverse and Halfway House, as fics that are ongoing and skew the scale significantly (especially the former): based on hits it was escalated almost to an art. Based on kudos, Reckless Self-Endangerment, and based on bookmarks the same. That...actually really surprises me.

Most fun story to write: Probably Will to Live. That fic...took me totally off guard and just - spilled out of me. It was a joy to write from basically start to finish, and other than a plot hole hiccup that was resolved with some invaluable beta help, really just...came together almost on its own. And it was, truly, so many things mashed together that I’m into. I haven’t ever written that much Thor POV, I don’t think, and that really caught me by surprise as far as how much I enjoyed it, too.

Story with the single sexiest moment: I feel like...hm. I’m not sure. I guess it depends on whether we’re going with “conventionally sexy” or “shit I shouldn’t be into this sexy” because those are two different answers. But I do feel like the sex in An Ever Expanding Circle is definitely up there.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: I’m still pretty sure nothing I do will ever live up to the bar set by The Vivisection Mambo, but...escalated almost to an art probably is up there. I mean, it was definitely the story where I was most “holy shit what am I doing” while I was writing it. Though making love with his ego was also pretty damn dark and also...had a much more downer ending than I was originally planning.

Actually, though, I feel like the worst is probably One Wrong Turn because of the set up (Remember This Cold AU) and where I went with it as far as breaking everyone involved (except, as usual, the Grandmaster).

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: uhhhhh. I always have a hard time with this question, because I don’t really know what it means? My perceptions of characters tend to shape how I write a fic, not so much the other way around. I guess maybe - oh, no, I’ve got it. It’s only one part in one story, but writing Shuri in Breathing Room gave me a better understanding of her character, I think, than I have before. Which is mostly down to @portraitoftheoddity​, so I don’t know if I can actually take credit for that.

Hardest story to write: God. So many stories are hard to write in so many ways. always ready for a war again was definitely a challenge, as writing stories from a different character POV usually are. I struggled a bizarre and moderately hilarious amount with how fluffy the wedding fic ended up getting; I thought I might be going too far. (That’s such a me thought to have.)

Oh - writing like 500 words of Mildmay’s POV was absolutely one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my writing career. And I’m going to keep doing it. Whoops.

Biggest Disappointment: Myself, for the fact that despite having 41 pages written, I’ve only managed to successfully post two chapters of Tear My Castle Down.

Biggest Surprise: Other than stumbling and falling face first back into writing for Doctrine of Labyrinths as a fandom? Possibly writing Crimson Peak fanfiction. I didn’t see that happening. Otherwise...the number of new kinks I wrote for reason of Frostmaster definitely caught me off guard.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: I feel like everything I wrote for Loki/Grandmaster this year could be called “unintentionally telling.” It’s like...if you’ve been following me for the last few years, this might not have been something you were aware of, but hoo boy has it been there.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

Loki had a smile like an air raid siren: attention grabbing and screaming danger. (untitled)

His first memory was a silver mask with rectangles for eyes and mouth, looking down at him. “Attempt four-hundred and thirty-two,” it said, “success.” (how you gaze upon my bones)

When it was over, when all was said and done, the dust settled, the universe rebuilt, Steve walked away. (blackbird singing in the dead of night)

Away from Allerdale Hall, Lucille felt as though she’d disappear. (we too (three) could be glorious)

You were born with two names. (always ready for a war again)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

1. Loki slipped in and out of consciousness, clinging to life. Held back from the edge like he was a ship at anchor, wood groaning at the pull of the rope. He could almost see death, a reef where the waves broke, that he could break himself on. (your blood like ice)

2. The Void was not empty, as everyone had thought. The Void was full of monsters. One of them found Loki, and plucked his body out of space, and forced him back to life. He mended Loki’s fragmented consciousness with all the gentleness of a carpenter hammering together pieces of wood, and when he was a rough approximation of whole the being who had found him told him who he was, and what he wanted. (the years after the fall)

3. He pressed the thumb of his right hand into the palm of his left. The gesture felt familiar, and yet when he actually did it, strange. Someone else’s hands. Someone else’s lungs. (down to the bone)

4. Loki’s stomach sank. He recognized the feeling. It was the one that meant he was about to do something stupid because of Thor. He hadn’t felt it in a while, and he didn’t appreciate its return. (Captive Audience)

5. Your people bleed names. Names torn away by force, broken lineage, and even when you’re free the names you get aren’t really yours. I am N’Jadaka, son of N’Jobu, you said, and thought you were taking your birthright, but it wasn’t yours. You’re too much Erik Stevens, too much Killmonger, too much American. You don’t belong here. (always ready for a war again)

6. The Grandmaster did not just make his point (I own you, everything you are is mine to do with as I please). He hammered it home, wrote it in Loki’s flesh, crucified him with it. He pulled Loki apart, cooed over him and promised to put him back together only to break him down further into smaller and smaller pieces, and it occurred to Loki that up until now the Grandmaster had been merciful. (it’s a mean world that I’ve known)

7. As it was, even with the windows open he was still trapped within the confines of his skull - a far deadlier snare than even the cruelest jailor could devise. (Stitching)

8. “Getting yourself killed doesn’t prove anything,” Thor said, finally. Loki snorted.

“Wouldn’t it, though?” He said, eyebrows raised. “Everyone loves a good self-sacrifice. I wrote a whole play about it.”

Thor’s expression spasmed again. Still not amused. “I would rather have a living brother than a dead hero.” (Reckless Self-Endangerment)

9. In the winter, she thought distantly, they should go to the Alps. There, the snow would come down clean. (we too (three) could be glorious)

10. “I wonder,” he said, “if hounds hunt wolves with such alacrity, for envy of their freedom.” (Will to Live)

11. Loki's nostrils flared. "You say we," he said, "but I am not a participant in this. And you still do not understand. There is no making this better. This is what it is. My pain is part of its design, its purpose. And even if it were not, even if you somehow could prevent the binding from hurting me at all - it would still be a binding. You still own me. Coat that in honey as you will, but that will never be anything but wormwood." (Tear My Castle Down)

12. Thor. Even thinking the name was like a wound, so he held it there, letting it dig in. Could he, he would open his chest and carve Thor’s name on every one of his ribs. (half a league onward)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

The scene from making love with his ego where the Grandmaster loses his temper with Loki and flexes those cosmic powers.

The Steve/Loki wedding from it’s the season of possible miracle cures.

Thor and Loki cuddling in we don’t know where tomorrow ends or drown my woes in a lake of fire.

Any part of the Steve/Loki/Thor smut from An Ever Expanding Circle.

The scene from I am frail, be you forgiven with Loki holding Thor’s hands, one on his heart and one on his neck.

Fic-writing goals for 2019:

Well, last year I said my goal for 2018 was finishing Life in Reverse so I’d be like “goal for 2019: finishing Halfway House!” but that is just plain not realistic. So, uh, on the more realistic front:

write and finish the next Remember This Cold plot-fic

be less scared of self indulgence

write less fic and more original fiction

get another essay published on Tor.com

try to chill out and remember that if you take breaks it doesn’t mean you’re worthless

[ladydragonhawke]

The Lesser of Two Evils

Season 15 fanfic starting exactly at the ending of Season 14.

For anyone who would like to have an easier reading experience here’s the link to the story

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647562/chapters/49766807

SPOILERS FOR SEASON 14

CHAPTER 6/8 WIP

Summary:  Rowena tries to pry some answers from Sterling, literally. And there's a plan to take on Dick Roman. But will it go the way they think it will? I made them utilize something that I think should've been used in the show.

Chapter 6: Beyond the Fall of Beauty

Sterling was watching Dick Roman on his private jet as it was about to land in Chicago when she realized it was morning and the humans closest to her would likely wonder if she fell back into her coma. As she “woke up” she opened her eyes to an empty room, light was streaming from the gaps below and above the door. She glanced over at the clock that was silently ticking on her nightstand. 9:30 a.m. A decent hour to wake up she figured. She got up and almost opened the door to leave but realized she was still wearing the same clothes Alex had given her yesterday. She flicked her wrist and the clothes instantly changed into a different combination that she saw lying on the desk. Once she felt it was sufficient enough she opened her door with a creak and entered the brightly lit hallway.

Giggling and mild annoyance sounds from the kitchen were bouncing off the walls in a flurry of noise. Sterling focused for a second. Dean, Jack, Castiel, and Claire were in the kitchen. Sam was in the war room on his laptop, likely doing some research. Jody and Donna were in the garage checking on the door leading out. Alex and Rowena were in the Infirmary casually talking about the current situation outside and of course Sterling.

Taking a deep breath, she decided to pay Sam a visit, he was one of the two that needed convincing still. Apparently, Rowena texted him last night about their exchange, but he remained unconvinced. This one was going to be a tough cookie. As she began wandering down the hallway toward the war room she paid those in the kitchen a quick visit as well as to try this coffee that Sam was thinking about. She’d grab him a cup while there.

“Morning.” Sterling grumbled sleepily as she grasped an empty mug.

“Ah, morning there sleeping beauty. Glad to see you awake and up.” Dean announced as he placed a plate of eggs and bacon on the counter in front of him. “Get it while it’s hot.”

“Sorry I’m not much of a breakfast eater. Coffee is fine for me, thank you though.” Sterling gripped her mug letting the heat seep through her hands, it was mildly comforting.

“Hey, no problem. More bacon for me.” Dean chuckled as he glanced at Claire who was now looking at him with annoyance.

“Really Dean? You boob.” She turned her head back to her plate with a small stack of bacon left on it. She was savoring every strip as if it were her last.

“I’m not the boob.” He mumbled. “Hey if you’re heading toward the war room, could you bring Sam, a cup of coffee for me?” Dean gestured with his head at the coffee machine and gave her a smirk. She could tell he was putting on an act, inside he wanted to scream and cry about Dick Roman and the leviathans that were currently running amok. She gathered that Dean was a bit worried for Sam as he didn’t get his breakfast this morning and only turned on the coffee maker without actually making a cup.

“Want me to bring a plate to him?” Sterling asked as she filled another mug with coffee.

“No.” He looked down at the last batch of bacon he was cooking for breakfast. “He’s kinda like you in the morning, just coffee.” He lied.

“Ah, gotcha. Right, well. Thanks for the offer, I’ll let him know kitchen is still open if he wants something.” She said as she began leaving.

“Thanks.” Dean called out as she rounded the corner and was gone from sight.

As she entered the war room Sam was sleepily staring at his laptop, the bright screen lit up his face with a blue glow making him seem transfixed by the words and images he was scrolling up. His mind was an utter mess, thoughts of worry for Dean, the worry for the public as leviathans had no need to limit themselves this time and could go all out. His thoughts had no breaks between them, leaving hardly any room for him to pause and take a deep breath to allow himself to center himself in the moment. Sterling was tempted to make the laptop short out to give him a break but knew he would only spiral further downward. She settled on simply sitting in a chair next to him but far enough away not to let him take notice of her yet. She placed his cup of coffee near him and sat back in her chair sipping contently on her own cup. She could see why humans liked it so much, the bitterness along with a bit of flash of energy it gave was invigorating.

She watched as he scrolled down multiple news pages and different forum cites that allowed people to voice concerns, information, and speculation on many different subjects. But he was focused on anything Dick Roman related. Sterling took a quick second to check on his location, his plane had landed and was being taxied to a specific gate. She returned to find Sam still scrolling through another Dick Roman post that was leading nowhere. Then as the aroma of fresh coffee reached his tired mind, he absentmindedly grasped his cup of coffee and gingerly took a sip. Then after a moment of realizing he hadn’t brought a cup his eyes widened as he looked around then beside him at the slouching Sterling still nursing her cup of coffee.

“Morning there sunshine.” She chuckled.

“Eh, morning. When did you…” he started.

“Just a minute ago, you seemed so focused I didn’t want to bother you.” She giggled. His mind was flashing between embarrassment and slight worry of being alone with a possible non-human.

“Well, um… Thanks, for the coffee.” Sam stammered as he closed a few tabs on his laptop.

“Dean’s idea. I just wanted to check up and see where we’re at on finding Dick.” She sat up a bit in her chair as the surface of her coffee neared the bottom of her cup.

“Ah, well. Right now, I’m searching for any information on him, checking flags of movement like…” He moved a few windows to bring up an air traffic controller log. “His private jet left L.A. last night around midnight and he’s bound for Chicago. And…” He paused as a new line showed up below the one about departure. “He’s arrived. He arrived at the Chicago airport just now. So now I need to keep tabs on surveillance footage and police scanners…” he stopped realizing who he was talking to.

“Don’t worry I’m medically discharged from the military. And I’ve seen some real shit now, I’m in on whatever you guys are doing.” She looked him in the eyes. “If you go down, hell I’m going with you.”

“What did you used to do in the military?” Sam asked, now thoroughly into their conversation, fear and slight distrust still lingering a bit in his mind.

“Special operations, assassinations, insurgency stuff… stuff I’d normally have to kill you if I told you.” She chuckled. “But that all seems like child’s play compared to what you guys deal with.”

“No kidding.” Sam smirked, and his suspicion was slowly dissipating. “Our father used to be in the military.”

“No shit?! What branch?” She set down her now empty cup on the table.

“Marine, he was a Corporal.” He smirked. Sterling sensed love, loss, but also hope.

“Ah, a fighter. I see where you boys got your strength from.” She gave him a gentle tap on his elbow.

He chuckled a bit, “Our mom was a hunter, did the things we do now. She was quite the fighter herself.”

“A family that doesn’t quit. That’s a strong family if I’ve ever seen one. Better than…” She caught herself. “No, don’t go there. Not yet.” Sam caught her expression of discomfort and sought to distract her.

“Ah, it’s ok. You don’t need to go into detail with me.” He clicked a few icons on the screen to open up new windows. They were small surveillance cameras all around the Chicago airport. He was flitting between one area and another searching for Dick Roman while keeping his periphery on Sterling. She was looking with him at all the windows on the screen, but she was gazing at them with hollow eyes.

“Look!” he gasped as he pointed to a small window on his screen. It displayed Dick Roman exiting the ramp from his plane into the main portion of the airport. People were staring and some were scurrying to vacate the area as fast as possible. Sterling’s eyes lit up at the sight of him, but with rage. Sam clicked a small icon in the corner of that particular window to expand the size of it to get a better visual. Dick Roman was chatting with a very nervous looking gate attendant as he waited for his entourage to accompany him. As several men and women in black suits and ties joined him, he left the shaking gate attendant to walk out into the main portion of the airport.

“Where are you heading?” Sam questioned aloud. Sterling wanted to dive into Dick Roman’s mind but felt that could take a good few minutes and she wasn’t sure if it would alert him to her presence. She decided to just go with the human route of dealing with this.

Dick and his groupies were traveling toward the exit of the airport, when a small group of people who looked armed and shielded by a layer of Kevlar, stood in the entranceway aiming the ends of their guns at the group of leviathans with Dick in the center.

“Oh no. No!” Sterling nearly shouted. Sam gripped the arms of his chair as he waited for the inevitable.

The men began firing, the flashes of the muzzles flickered on the screen as the group of leviathans stood solidly in place as if they weren’t being shot at. After they finished emptying a full clip into them, they began reloading, but were interrupted by three large leviathan men taking them and eating them whole. Leaving two left kneeling on the floor with their arms raised above their heads. Sterling wanted to consciously be there to be able to hear all that was being said. But knew it would leave her looking a bit strange to Sam who was between wanting to watch to see what would happen while dreading what he knew was coming.

Dick then approached the two men left and seemed to ask or say something to both of them. The mouths were not visible so Sterling wasn’t able to see what they may have said but judging by the lack of concern on Dick’s face she took it as something that was beneath him. He waved his hand as he turned around, as he did so two of the large men holding them ate them leaving only blood splatters on the floor. Dick looked around the airport at the cowering people around him and seemed to laugh as he waltzed out of the airport. Sam was furiously clicking boxes and cameras to keep up with him. There would be fewer cameras outside the airport, but he wanted to see if he could get a direction Dick may be going in. Sam was so focused on his task he didn’t notice Sterling was standing and watching him work the computer with eyes that were fit to explode the screen. He was watching Dick get into an awaiting limo when the limo seemed to deflate, and its sides began caving in on itself.

“What the hell?” Sam exclaimed as he tried to get a closer look at what was happening.

Sterling snapped out of her rage realizing what had happened. She watched the screen as Dick was pulled quickly from the limo with a face of utter shock and confusion. He shook himself from his henchmen’s grip and stood in front of his mangled limo studying every inch he could see. His men were trying to get him into another limo that was most likely previously going to be used as a decoy before the true one was crushed like an empty can of beer. Dick straightened his clothes, eyeing the distorted limo one last time before succumbing to his guards’ peas to get into the other vehicle. As soon as his body was fully inside the belly of the new limo it took off at a high speed out of the many airports exits.

Sterling shook her head of the realization she had just caused something to happen unintentionally. “What just happened?” she asked Sam who hadn’t taken a moment to look at her and was still transfixed on the crushed limo.

“I have no idea. It looked like the limo was crushed by something.” He was flitting through cameras again trying to find Dick’s remaining limo while leaving the crushed limo image open in a corner so he could keep an eye on it. “But which direction did he go?” As he clicked from camera to camera, he was becoming frantic as he could not find Dick’s limo.

“There!” Sterling announced pointing at a small box with a limo streaking from one corner to another as it traveled toward the interstate.

“He’s going west. I’ve got the plates. I’ll send out some stuff to some people I know in the area. Thanks...” He glanced up to see Sterling white-knuckled gripping the back of the chair she was previously sitting in, her face nearly flushed of all color as she seemed like she was in pain. “You alright?” Sam started to rise to assist her in case she passed out.

“I’m fine. Keep track of him, that bastard won’t get away with this.” Teeth gritted she pushed the chair in swiftly and stormed off towards the infirmary. Sam watched her as she left and for a moment, even he was scared of her. He continued watching the cameras until he couldn’t find the limo anymore and went back to the camera that still had the mangled limo in its view. The front portion of it was untouched but starting from the midsection it looked as if it had been crushed externally. The back was almost entirely crushed, if any normal human had been in there, they would have died.

Sterling stumbled into the hallway leaning her back against a wall to regain her senses a bit. “Well that was uncalled for.” She thought as she took a few moments to ground herself as the stabbing shooting pain through her body subsided, enough. “At least I can do that much so far…”

The echo of faint footsteps was growing louder as Sterling pushed off the wall and straightened herself as if she hadn’t just tumbled out of a crazy situation. Dean rounded a corner at a lumbering pace carrying two full plates of food and a cup of coffee.

“Whoop, you okay there?” Dean called out pausing for only a moment as Sterling waved his concerns away with a smile.

“All good. You should definitely check up on your brother.” She gestured with a wave and a slightly dipping smile. “I’d give you the 411 but I think it’s best if you saw it for yourself.”

“What happened?” Dean was now picking up his pace a bit and was nearly on top of Sterling.

“Oh, you’ll see. Have you seen Alex and Rowena?” She started down the way he came as he turned slightly to gesture with an elbow.

“Infirmary.”

“Thanks.” Sterling began hoofing it toward the Infirmary, she needed to be ‘cleared’ for whatever was coming next, and judging by what she saw, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

  As she passed the doorway into the Infirmary Rowena and Alex were sitting across from each other on opposite empty beds. Linens stark white compared to the scene Sterling last remembered the room being in. Rowena raised her head from behind Alex with a bright smile.

“G’morning Sterling. How’d you sleep?”

“Well enough, how about you ladies?”

“Perfectly fine.” Rowena lied with a smile.

“Not as well as I’d hoped.” Alex mumbled as she turned slowly to face Sterling. Her face was a touch pale and she had dark circles under her eyes.

“Thinking about yesterday?” Sterling prodded as she took a seat on the other side of the same bed as Alex.

Alex nodded while yawning and wiping sleep from her eye, Sterling guessed she’d gotten maybe two hours.

“Why don’t you go back to bed? I don’t think anything will happen today.”

“You don’t know these boys well enough yet.” Rowena chuckled. Alex gave a snickering snort at that.

“Not yet, but I made it clear I’m willing to assist in whatever way they need. Now that…” she stopped, thinking back to what just happened in the other room. “Look I want to help, Dean said I had to be cleared by you two before I can do anything. Well?” She raised her arms expectantly.

“No sense prolonging the inevitable. Alex will do the physical, I’ll do the metaphysical.” Rowena straightened out the creases and folds in her dress as she stood. Alex sleepily stood slowly from her resting spot on the bed.

“And then you go back to bed.” Sterling joked.

“I may take you up on that.” She yawned. “Now go over there and strip.” She stretched while pointing to a partition that provided privacy for undressing.

“I’ll wait here.” Rowena announced.

Without fuss Sterling walked briskly over and began disrobing as Alex lumbered her way over to her.

“Ready?”

“Yep, come on in.”

Alex stopped as she came within full view of Sterling standing stark naked and noticed something was quite off with what she was seeing.

“Huh, Rowena never said anything about the scar being fixed. Turn around for me.” Alex stepped closer and grabbed a nearby stool so that she could better inspect the region where the wound was previously. As Sterling spun all the way around to face her once more Alex wiped her eyes furiously with her fingers trying to dislodge any sleep that may have obstructed her vision. The horrid large scar that was previously gone returned in the same location, occupying the same amount of space, and displaying the same distorted color as what she remembered.

“I must be way more tired than I thought.” She jokingly mumbled.

She snapped on some blue rubber gloves and began exploring the skin surrounding the scar, it had hardened up and was not as elastic anymore. There were no more signs of pus, bleeding, or tenderness judging by the lack of reaction from Sterling from her prodding.

“Can you bend over and touch your toes?” Alex asked as she scooted back a bit to give Sterling some room. Sterling performed the desired task making Alex display a contented smile. “Does it pinch or sting at all when you do that?”

“Nope.”

“Awesome. Alright, twist your body at the waist for me.”

Sterling twisted in both directions a few times, letting Alex see that movement was not an issue.

“Perfect, how about crouching down to pick up that tray and giving it to me?” She pointed to a tray resting on the lowest shelf of a cart near them. Sterling squatted, grabbed the tray and stood handing the tray to Alex with no issue. Alex took the tray from Sterling while giving a contented smile.

“Alright you can get dressed now, I think I’ve seen all I need to. I’m going to let Rowena know you’re cleared on my end.” She hauled herself from the stool and left Sterling to get dressed. On the other side of the partition Rowena was leaning on the footrest of a bed with her arms crossed in front of her.

“Well?” she asked expectantly.

“All good on my end.” Alex yawned.

“We’ll see how she handles me then.” Rowena smirked.

“Go easy on her, she just woke up yesterday. I think she may be pushing herself too hard.” Alex started to take a seat on the nearest bed but was stopped by Rowena’s hand.

“It’s not her I’m worried about.”

Alex looked quizzically into her eyes but before she could pry into that statement with any questions Sterling came around the other side of the partition and was already halfway to them.

“I’m worried about a certain someone who needs to get herself back to bed.” Rowena guided Alex toward the exit.

“You sure you don’t need me here?” Alex asked now a bit shaken.

“I’ll be perfectly fine dear, you head off to bed. We’ll catch up later.” She gave Alex a wink as she began giving her attention to Sterling.

“Alright then, that was a thing.” Alex muttered as she stumbled out of the Infirmary.

Sterling stood with her arms crossed as she awaited Rowena’s orders.

“Alright love, have a lie down right here.” Rowena removed the top cover and sheets of a bed nearest her, as she did Sterling was studying her and trying to gauge what this next part entails. Surprisingly she wasn’t able to gather much, as it seemed Rowena placed a few blockades within her. “Clever girl.” Sterling stepped closer to the bed before she realized there was a circle drawn on the floor under the bed, it was clearly done in UV reactive paint. After taking a split moment to study it with her minds eye. “Really clever girl… let’s see how this plays out.” As soon as she laid in the bed Rowena flicked off the lights on the wall behind her and flipped on a UV light at her feet pointed directly at the circle below.

“We having a rave now?” Sterling joked, to which Rowena gave a stern look. “Don’t gotta be so sour about it…”

“I’m going to ask you some questions, and you’re going to answer them truthfully. Understand?” Rowena stood over Sterling with her arms raised above her midsection.

“What’s going on?” Sterling asked seeming befuddled.

“I’m the one asking the questions got it?” her growl was coming across rather strong, so she took a breath to straighten herself before getting to the meat of what was bothering her.

“What are you?”

“I’m human.”

“That can’t be true…” she took a moment to glance at her circle job, everything was correct and in order. “Who are you really?”

“My name is Sterling, I am an ex-operative for the US government in where I carried out secret missions.”

“Where are you from?”

“I’m originally from Texas, though I have moved around a lot due to my profession.”

“What is your purpose here?” her frustrations were mounting higher and higher with each question.

“To serve to the best of my ability.”

“Do you have any kin?” anger was starting to seep out of her lips with every word.

“Two, but they no longer consider me kin.”

Rowena twitched as she was shocked at this answer.

“You said you no longer have kin when the girls saved you. Why do they not see you as kin?”

“They believed me to be dead, when one found out I was not he became scared of me. He no longer speaks to me.”

“Why do, or did, they believe you to be dead?”

“I had a terminal illness that made me abandon them at a rather young age. I didn’t want them to experience what I was going through.”

 “Where are they now?”

 “I only know the location of my son, I do not know where my daughter is.”

  “Why do you want to help us?”

 “I want to repay the kindness shown to me.”

  “Do you feel guilty for leaving them… your children?”

 “Yes.”

 “Do you wish to find them?”

  “…yes.”  

 “Why do you want to find them?”

  “I want to make it up to them. To fix what I broke.”

  “Do you think helping us will find them?”

“I’m not sure.”

  Rowena paused for a moment.

  “Why do you really want to help us?”

 “I want to repay the kindness shown to me.”

   The thing that Rowena didn’t realize is that while the circle was meant to draw out the truth from anyone or anything within, when you’re basically a God this circle doesn’t really work. But Sterling wanted to give her something, like a dog who needed a bone to chew on. She’d give her little bits of truth wrapped in lies, not that she enjoyed lying. Sterling feigned being compelled to answer truthfully, which seemed to work as Rowena was deep in thought on the answers she was receiving. Her arms lowered to her sides as she took in the information Sterling was feeding her.

Sterling glared up at Rowena who was enthralled with curiosity of her. After a few moments Rowena stepped away from the bed and turned off the UV lamp at her feet.

“I think that’s quite enough for now.” She said as she flicked back on the main lights. “Thank you for bearing with me. I just needed to make sure you…”

“I was someone who could be trusted?” Sterling finished as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Next time why don’t you try just asking me questions straight to my face? Rather than whatever the hell that was?” Anger seethed in her words as she rose from the bed staring straight into Rowena’s eyes. Sterling’s glare was strong and never faltered as she stepped within inches of her. “Is there anything else you want to pry from me?”

“N-no. Look…”

“Good.” Sterling hissed as she stormed out of the Infirmary, leaving Rowena stunned in place.

  She didn’t mean to get that angry, not like that. Sterling knew she was not actually bound by the circle to answer her and could have told her to fuck off if she wanted. But the line of questions Rowena was asking was bothering her more than she’d like to admit. As Sterling entered the war room again, everyone except Alex and Rowena were in the room. As she stepped in everyone had stopped what they were doing and were looking at her as if she had pissed in the milk that morning.

“Am I interrupting something?” Sterling asked hesitantly. She took a quick peek at the minds in the room, Sam had only showed them the part where Dick Roman had the group of armed humans eaten in public.

“No, sorry… we um.” Sam was standing in front of his laptop. Which was turned toward Jody, Claire, and Donna, who were seated on the opposite side of the table. “We were just talking about the next steps to deal with Dick.”

“And those steps would be?” Sterling asked as she took an empty seat a fair distance from everyone.

“Look.” Sam started. “We appreciate your will to help us. Really, we do. But…”

“But we just don’t know you.” Dean finished. He was standing with his back toward everyone staring at a map of the US. “Plus, you just woke up yesterday from a three week coma.” Dean turned. “Maybe you need to take some time to heal?” he asked as he nodded to the newest addition to the room. “Verdict?”

“She’s been cleared by Alex and I.” Rowena’s voice cracked a touch. Sterling didn’t turn around to look at her but guessed by the way she sounded she was still broken up from how her little séance concluded.

“So, she’s good? Really?” Dean scoffed. More than a bit surprised at the news.

“Yes.”

“Rowena can I talk to you?” Sam walked cautiously to her. “Privately?”

“Of course Sam.”

“We’ll be a moment.” Sam gave Dean a quick smirk that was a sad attempt to cover up his mounting anxiety. They both left the war room toward the kitchen as Dean took a seat in the chair in front of him.

“Well that’s not weird.” He joked. His attention turned back to Sterling. “So, where you from?”

   Sam gave a quick glance around the kitchen to make sure no one was around for what was sure to be enlightening news. Rowena sighed at his attempt to make this seem not as weird as it looked, and she snapped her fingers to get his attention.

“We’re alone, Alex went to bed and everyone else is in the war room.”

“Alright, so tell me…” he sat in one of the chairs while motioning Rowena to sit in the opposite one across from him. “How’d it go?”

“Well,” She sighed, she didn’t quite feel ready to relay everything as she was still recovering mentally. “She’s not a demon, angel, or monster of any kind. She’s human as far as I can tell…” she drifted off in thought for a moment before seeing Sam’s impatience starting to bore through her. “She worked for the government doing secret stuff, she has two children, both of which believed her to be dead until her son found out otherwise. He refuses to talk to her. She left them due to a terminal illness when they were still young… what else…” she paused. She was still trying to sort it all out herself when Sam’s impatience got the better of him.

“Are you sure she’s someone she says she is?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“Is she someone we can trust?”

“Sam, I can’t answer that with just questioning her.”

“Yea I get that but…” Sam expelled some of his anxiety with a sigh. “I still can’t shake that something is up with her.” His clasped hands resting on the surface of the table.

“Sam.” She placed a calming hand on his. “We’ve done every sort of testing we can think of. Besides, I’m not through with her yet.”

“What do you mean?” he loosened the grip on his hands.

“She’s still hiding something… I can feel it. But I just can’t figure out a way to get to it.” She looked off in the distance as if searching for the answer.

“Well you better find a way quick.” Sam sighed releasing his hands and grasping Rowena’s to pull her attention back to him.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Dean and I have a plan, to take care of Dick. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? You can’t be serious. Why tomorrow?” she was starting to panic a bit, everything was moving a little too fast.

“Dick Roman is staying in a hotel that’s only a day’s drive from here. He’s going to be there for only a few days for something news related. I really don’t know why he’s there, but Dean and I can’t pass up this opportunity.”

Rowena stood up suddenly and began pacing a small line in front of the table.

“We have everything we need, the bone, the blood. We just need to do the same thing as last time, and not get caught up in the aftermath, and Dick and his entourage will be forced back into Purgatory.” Sam could see that Rowena was listening but was also thinking over their situation in her head.

“You make it sound so easy but how am I supposed to deal with Sterling while you boys are slaying Dick?” She stopped pacing looking to Sam for a serious answer.

“You’ll find a way; I know you will. Dean wants to take her with us and when we come back you can do whatever you need to do to figure out just who she is.” He paused a moment to breathe, “Rowena, I don’t think she’s human.”

Rowena sat back down in her chair hanging on his every word.

“When she and I were watching the security footage of Dick in the airport, have you seen it yet?”

“No.”

Sam quickly pulled out his phone from his back pocket, “I’ll show you.” He pressed a few buttons and swiped a few things on his phone bringing up the video of Dick Roman facing off against the group of armed civilians. She watched in disgust as he had the others devoured on his way out of the airport. The clip changed locations to the front of the airport to Dick Roman’s awaiting pre-crushed limo.

“She and I were watching everything happening live, and then this happened as he was getting in his limo.”

Rowena glanced at Sam’s face which was starting to lose some color, she looked back at his phone as she watched Dick enter his limo, and as soon as the door shut the limo began crumpling in on itself. She gasped and held the phone closer to her face trying to see as much detail as possible as the limo was being crushed. Dick Roman was pulled hastily out of the limo and the video ended as the crushing ceased. Rowena ran the video back to the beginning of the crushing watching it again and again, trying to see just what might have caused it.

“What are you thinking?” Sam asked after giving her plenty of time to examine the video.

“I can’t find anything linking her to what happened here.” She admitted. “But I can’t find anything to prove that she didn’t have anything to do with it.” She smiled as she set the phone down in front of her. “What was she like when this happened?

“She seemed angry, and shocked.”

“Rightfully so, after watching those poor souls die that way, I can understand that. But what about the crushing?”

Sam crossed his arms in thought, “I don’t know, I wasn’t really paying attention to her at the time. I was more interested in the fact that the limo was being crushed by itself.” He paused. “But she seemed shocked as well.” He pondered a moment trying to rewind his memory to that moment, how she looked. More precisely, how she looked after the fact. “But after…”

“What was she like?”

“She looked sick, or like she was in pain or something. She went all white and walked out angry.”

 “That is odd.” She sat back in her chair mulling over everything in her head. “If she’s a witch it would explain that, but she didn’t come across as someone capable of doing that. I’ll have to do some research then while you boys do your excursion. Just…” She looked up at Sam reaching her hands out to him with her palms up as an invitation for him to place his in hers.

“Don’t get yourselves killed.”

Sam accepted her invitation and leaned forward. “We’ll do the best we can. I’ll keep an eye on her as well, if anything out of the ordinary happens…”

“Run. Just run, we don’t know what she’s capable of.” She released her grip and let her arms fall to her sides. “I need a drink.” She sighed.

“Same.” Sam smirked.

She rose quickly and made her way to the liquor cabinet behind Sam. “What time are you heading out?”

“Pretty much as soon as we’re done here.”

She placed a glass already with whiskey in it in front of him. “Then let’s make a toast.” She returned to her seat with her own glass of whiskey, only hers had quite a bit more in it than Sam’s.

“May those bastards return to Purgatory, and you boys make it back in one piece.” She raised her glass.

“I’ll drink to that.” Sam clinked their glasses together as they both downed their drinks in one swallow. Sam and Rowena sat in silence for a few moments, both inspecting the quality of the glasses while trying not to make eye-contact. Rowena was the first to break the silence as she stood up taking his empty glass from him, adding them to the small stack of dirty dishes in the sink. Sam stood up and began to leave the kitchen.

“Sam.” Rowena called, making him pause at the door. “Be careful.”

“I will. See you after.” Sam smiled as he left the kitchen, he was apprehensive about this mission, and it wasn’t because of the leviathans.

 As Sam entered the war room, he found Dean, Jody, and Donna packing as many duffel bags as they had on hand, running back and forth from one of the storage cabinets with more than a few weapons missing from its stock. Sterling was seated at the table field stripping guns with such precision it spooked Sam a bit. Dean noticed he had entered the room and made a smirk at him noticing Sterling.

“She’s like a damn machine!” He called as he stuffed some small bottles of Borax in his bag.

“No kidding.” Sam huffed.

Sterling set down a gun she just finished and looked up at Dean, “Got anything else?”

“Nope, you did them all. You could start taking some of the bags to the cars.” He handed her a duffel full of Borax. As she went to grab the bag Sam stepped closer to Dean with a look of slight confusion.

“Cars? I thought it was just going to be us with Jack and Cas on this?”

“It was, until Jody and Donna mentioned the possibility of high security that were not of the leviathan variety.” Dean finished handing the duffel to Sterling who took it and slung it over her shoulder.

“Which car for this?”

“Put it in the Impala, here’s the keys.” Dean tossed her the keys and she deftly caught it in one hand.

“Be back in a flash.” She called as she swiftly took off with her overweight bag to the garage. Dean gave a quick glance to Sam who was watching her leave.

 “Now you wanna tell me what all that was about with Rowena?”

“I was just getting updated about Sterling’s condition.”

“And? She seems fine to me.” He turned to grab a few radios from their charging stations.

“She is according to Rowena. So, I was thinking maybe she could help stand guard, nothing too elaborate.”

“Whoa, first you were super against her going and now you’re figuring out things she could do?” He turned from fiddling with the radios to face Sam. “Don’t you remember what happened in the Infirmary? The mess that she made. She’s an asset if anything. You don’t bench one of your best players.”

“You do if you’re still unsure about them in general.” Sam was trying in vain to make a decent point without revealing his anxieties.

“What are you trying to say Sam? That we shouldn’t trust her? I don’t. But someone who is trained like she is, and is willing to help, I’m sorry Sam but I’m not going to bite that hand. So, unless you’ve got something better than a gut feeling I’m all ears.” Dean stood in place with his arms crossed waiting for Sam to deliver him some brilliant revelation.

Sam stuttered a bit running a nervous hand through his hair as he searched for words that wouldn’t make him sound like a worry wort. Just then Sterling entered with jingling keys in hand.

“Next?” she called, seeing that Sam and Dean were having some kind of a spat and knew it was about her. She set the keys down on the table and moved toward another duffel.

“Take that one with the weapons to the Impala as well. Then Jody and Donna should be ready to load up.” Dean directed with his anger slightly dipping into his words as he spoke. He knew Sam was hiding something and wanted him to just come out with it, there wasn’t any time left for all this pussyfooting. Sterling grabbed the duffel closest to her and promptly took off to the garage again. Once they believed she was out of earshot Dean sighed and rubbed the bridge of his bow with his fingers.

“Look, I know something is bothering you about her. I’ll have her ride with Jody and Donna and you’re going to tell me everything.” Dean gave a look only those who have younger siblings would understand, which mostly meant “Don’t fuck around with me.”

Sam nodded, “Yea, yea I think that’s a good idea.”

“Something we should know about?” Jody asked setting a heavy box on the table.

“Not yet, just keep an eye on Sterling on our way there.” Dean nudged Jody with his elbow.

“Oh definitely, I’m worried about the poor girl. Moving this quickly after waking up like that, gotta wonder what she did for a living.”

“Apparently it had something to do with the government.” Sam stated.

“Secret Service or Special Ops?” Jody asked, “Makes sense with how that room turned out.”

“Does it matter? She’s going to be a big help. Jody, you and Donna will have her ride with you. You guys can give her the run-down on how to handle these guys. Think you got that?” Dean handed her a radio to be put in her duffel, she took it without breaking eye-contact with him.

“Please, you think we’re still green about this? Don’t worry Dean, we’ll give her The Talk about these bastards.” She paused a moment. “After we deal with them, I’ll need to get back to my own. My phone’s been exploding since I left.”

“Same here.” Called Donna as she brought over a bag filled with something that sounded like plastic hitting against each other inside. “My guys have been seeing an influx of werewolves and vampires in the last few days. I’m telling ya, it’s like the flood gates have opened.”

“You’re not joking.” Dean half-chuckled as Sterling came back into the room. “We’re ready now. Cas! Jack! We’re heading out! Move your asses!” He called down the hall, which was pointless as Jack and Cas materialized into the room within a blink.

“Ready to move?” Castiel asked.

“Yep, grab that on the way and let’s hit the road people.” Dean called out one last time as he made his way to the garage.

 After loading up both vehicles with what they felt was needed and leaving a detailed note for Alex, they took off at max speed to their destination. Sam, against Dean’s constant prodding, was still trying to form the words in his head so that he didn’t sound monumentally insane. Castiel and Jack sat quietly and patiently in the backseat as they were curious about Sam’s predicament with Sterling as well. Neither one of them had the chance to get to know her once she woke up, so seeing Sam a bit flustered about her left them apprehensive. After the first 4 to 5 hours of Sam not really being forward with his thoughts Dean resolved to blast his music and keep in contact with Jody with the radios as to if they needed to stop for gas or pee-breaks. On one of the stops he walked over to Jody as she was filling up her truck and Sterling and Donna were in the shop grabbing a few things.

“So, how’d she take it?” Dean asked while leaning on the backend of her truck.

“Rather well actually. Hey, what’s going on with Sam? Did something happen with him and her that we should know about?”

“I don’t know yet, he hasn’t come out with it yet.” He folded his arms on his chest. “I don’t understand what’s going on with him sometimes. I thought we were past this kind of stuff.”

“Just give him time. I know Sam, he wouldn’t fret over nothing. Just let him get all his ducks in a row.”

“I know Jods… I just…” he stopped as he adjusted his position a touch so that the brake light wasn’t poking him in his kidney. “I just wish he’d be straight with me.”

“He will Dean, just give him time.” Jody placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as the gas pump sounded with a click. “You boys I swear. If it ain’t one of you, it’s both of you.” She chuckled a bit as she went to pull out the nozzle and return it to its holster. She gave a quick glance at Dean who was rolling his eyes at her. Donna and Sterling returned carrying mostly some soda and a few packets of Pop-Tarts. Claire poked her head out of the window from the backseat as soon as they were within earshot.

“About damn time! Toss me mine.”

Sterling tossed her two packets of Pop-Tarts and a bottle of Mountain Dew to which Claire caught with some difficulty but managed to toss the packets into the car before the bottle few too far past her window. She giggled a bit and sunk back into the truck with her snacks. Sterling gave a wide smile and went around to get back into the truck, leaving Donna standing with Dean and Jody.

“So? Everything ok on your end?” Donna directed toward Dean.

“Not quite yet, he’ll tell us soon enough. Let’s just get back on the road.” Jody stopped Dean before he could say anything. Donna fully understood the look she was getting from Jody and nodded slowly.

“Ah, gotcha. Well, see ya when we get there.” She called as she returned to the passenger seat.

Jody gave Dean one last motherly look as he turned to get back into Baby. She hoped whatever was bothering Sam wasn’t going to cause Dean too much shock as she took the drivers seat. Once they were back on the road Dean didn’t pester Sam with any questions, he actually avoided asking him anything and tried to make small talk with Jack instead. After a few attempts at providing some levity Dean returned to his small repertoire of music and played whatever suited his fancy. He left the volume at a reasonable level so that Sam could interject whenever he felt comfortable. For a while Sam was deeply involved with news and texts being sent to him on his phone. His insiders that were at the hotel they were barreling toward were keeping him updated on what was going on as well as any movement made by humans and leviathans alike. He was getting hourly updates on shift changes, and rotating locations of certain people or things. While he was paying attention, he continued to mull over how to reveal his thoughts and feelings about Sterling. Should he start out small with the athame? Or go big with the possibility of her interfering with the limo being crushed as they were watching? He took a deep breath, which made Dean straighten up in preparation for whatever news Sam was about to deliver.

“Alright, hear me out okay? All of you.” Sam gave a glance to the two in the back who were just as apprehensive as Dean.

Sam started from the beginning with the athame, and how Rowena had a spell on it that should only react to human touch. Retelling how Sterling was seen holding said athame after having used it on multiple undead in the Infirmary. He started to get into how no normal human should be able to do such an act after having been in a coma for three weeks. Dean seemed to agree with this but remained silent as he knew that couldn’t possibly be all. Jack wished to say something but Castiel shook is head as a sign to let Sam finish. Sam continued with how Rowena questioned her and how the questioning felt off somehow even with a particularly strong circle being used. How her healing spells felt different with her. He then got to what was bothering him most, what happened with Dick Roman. Sam allowed Dean to hold his phone as he pressed play at the moment when Dick entered the limo. Dean tried to keep his attention on the road while glancing at the phone but as soon as he noticed it crushing in on itself his attention was fully on the phone.

“What the hell?!” he breathed as he tried to look closer. Sam grabbed the steering wheel to avoid swerving into the oncoming lane. There weren’t very many cars on the road but having an accident this close to their destination was something best to be avoided. Dean ran the video back a few times ignoring the fact that he was essentially letting Sam drive.

“Dean!” Sam practically yelled to get his attention back. Dean shot back into action and took hold of the wheel again and mashed on the gas.

“What the hell? You think she did that?” Dean wasn’t sure if he believed Sam. There wasn’t much evidence to prove that she was the one responsible.

“I’m not sure but you can’t say something isn’t off about her.” Sam tilted his head as a way of making his point, to which Dean squinted his eyes and rubbed the back of his head with his hand.

“I don’t know Sammy, this all seems a bit far-fetched. She was with the Secret Ops or whatever so that explains the Infirmary scene, I’ve got nothing for the athame, as well as that. But I will admit that was really weird.” He pointed to Sam’s phone to indicate just what that was.

Sam stayed quiet letting Dean think about all that he unveiled. Dean was trying to seriously consider all that Sam said, but there wasn’t much proof to go on, or even an inkling as to who or what Sterling could be in place of being human. Jack and Castiel were quietly talking to each other giving their own take on the situation and certain possibilities. Witch was one of the titles they threw around, but Sam informed them that Rowena came upon the same idea and that she was currently doing research on that. Upon that they returned to pondering amongst themselves and asking Sam to let them inspect the footage, to which he obliged. They were two or three hours away from their destination before Dean finally decided to speak up.

“Alright, I’m not saying I’m not believing you, but I think we should all just keep a close eye on her. And if anything, weird happens… we’ll figure something out.”

Sam looked a little dejected but seemed to understand where Dean was coming from. Dean knew Sam wouldn’t just make up things in order to make someone seem odd, it was their kind of weird that much was sure. He just didn’t feel it was necessary to pull out the pitchforks and torches just yet. But he was sure going to keep a close eye on her.

As they came up to a mile before their destination Sam had the caravan stop in a deserted lot in order to go over the plan one last time and make sure all roles were filled. He pulled up the layout of the hotel on a tablet and placed it on the hood of Jody’s truck. Everyone created a circle around the hood of the truck as they awaited Sam and Dean to address the company.

“Alright so, according to Mark, he says that in about 30 mins the shifts will change to humans on the outside of the hotel to watch for anything. The leviathans will be inside on the first and second floors, he’s not sure what they’re doing but he could hear screaming a few times. Dick Roman is in the top suite on the north face of the hotel, meaning he won’t have a visual of us when we arrive.” He rotated the map toward the back end of the hotel. “Mark will pull the fire alarm toward the back of the hotel when we tell him we’re here. Jody and Donna will act like first responders and meet and distract the people outside. Meanwhile Dean, Sterling, and Cas will sneak their way in from the south-west side. Dean has the decoy bone, I’ll have the real one. Jack, Claire and I will come in on the South-east side from this side door. Mark counted about 20-30 leviathans that he could make out. So as soon as we go in it’ll start. Donna?”

Donna reached down into her duffel and pulled out a Nerf Super-soaker from her bag, eliciting a slight chuckle from Dean and Claire.

“These bad boys are filled with so much borax, you’ll each have as many as you can carry. Use them sparingly.” She started tossing one after another to each person, first giving everyone large guns then smaller pistols. Then she pulled out a large black trash bag from the depths of her duffel and drew up a brightly colored red balloon filled to what would most likely be borax. “These’ll be your grenades, again use them only as much as possible. I was only able to make so many.” She held the bag open letting everyone grab as many as possible.

Once everyone had armed up and were stuffing balloons in their pockets Sam continued. “These will also help determine who is a leviathan and who is human. The less we harm people the better. Dean, Sterling and Cas will make their way up, using the stairs here, to the suite. Jack, Claire and I will do the same on this side and we should converge in the middle in front of his suite here. Is that clear for everyone?”

Everyone answered in unison in agreement, the plan seemed simple but effective. And given the layout of the hotel, it should definitely confuse them.

“Cas, we don’t know if Dick can still sense you or whatever, but I’ll need you with Dean in case things go south.” Sam gave Castiel a look of slight worry.

“If he does, I’ll prove to be a good decoy for you guys to do your end.” Castiel interjected with a bit of reluctance. He hoped Dick wouldn’t be able to sense him, but when has things gone their way?

“Right, Sterling this seem good to you Cochise?” Dean was inspecting Sterling as she was in thought of their plan.

She was quiet for a bit, mulling it over and even taking a better look at the plans for the hotel. After she set the tablet down, she cleared her throat.

“Sounds like a solid plan to me.” She announced finally. “What’s the plan if things go south?”

“Keep fighting.” Dean recited.

“There’s no backup plan? What if Sam and co get stopped before they can even enter, and we’re stuck in the front with a hoard of them? You guys don’t do contingency plans, do you?” She looked around at everyone in the group for someone to reply but everyone shrugged or looked down at their feet. “Well… fuck it.” She chuckled. “Don’t get spooked if I disappear from you for a time.”

“Why?” Dean asked her, curious of her sudden cowardice.

“You guys have your ways… and I have mine. I’m not going to leave ya’ll hanging if that’s what you’re thinking. I’ll have to stretch before we get into this.” She laughed a bit. “This is one shit-show I’ll tell ya that. I admire you guys I really do.”

“Alright well, anyone else?” Sam coughed giving a look to Dean.

No one else had anything to say and on that note, everyone started loading themselves up with whatever they needed on their person. Dean noticed Sterling was only packing a few squirt guns and balloons as defense.

“You think that’s all you need?”

“Yep.”

“Look I know you haven’t dealt with these things before, but I can guarantee you’ll need a bit more than that.” Dean eyed her up and down a bit.

“As I said, you have your ways and I have mine. Don’t worry too much.” She winked at him as she passed him to where Sam was fiddling with his tablet. Dean scoffed and went to start up Baby.

“Can I get one last look at that layout again?” Sterling asked as she appeared beside Sam, spooking him a bit.

“Sure, here.” He shakily handed it to her, and she began flicking through the layout again going from blueprints to virtual.

“What are you looking for?”

“There’s a saying we had in my troupe. ‘Don’t target discriminate, or you’ll deteriorate.’ Words I had to live by.” She continued absorbing what she could then handed the tablet back to Sam. “Got what I needed, thanks Sam.” She patted him on the back and went to load up in the truck. Sam looked back at the tablet and tried to see what she was looking for, after a few minutes of searching Dean was growing impatient and started calling for him from the Impala. Sam sighed and resigned to try to fiddle with it on their way there.

  Everyone loaded up and Sam sent Mark the notification that they were about 10 mins away. Mark sent back a confirmation within a few seconds and as they were pulling into the parking lot the lights for the fire alarm were flashing madly. Jody and Donna turned on their lights and jumped into playing their part. Sterling and Claire hopped out of the truck from the side where people couldn’t see them and made their way to the Impala. Sam and Dean went their separate ways with their operative groups and circled around the growing group of people in front of Jody’s truck.

 Sam, Jack and Claire got to their door and went in as quick and quiet as possible with their super-soakers drawn. They rounded each corner with Sam as the lead as they made their way to the stairwell nearest them. In the distance they could hear shouting and running on their floor as well as the floor above them. They hadn’t run into anyone or anything yet, making Sam feel a bit more nervous as they entered the stairwell and began the six-story climb.

 At the same time Dean, Sterling and Castiel entered through the front experiencing little resistance as everyone who was in the front were with Jody and Donna. As Dean tried to make a b-line for the stairwell nearest them five people in black suits took notice of them and began running at them at full speed. Dean pulled out his super soaker and pumped and squeezed the trigger releasing a steady stream of borax into the face of his attackers. Their faced sizzled as they fell on their knees writhing in pain. Dean looked behind him to find Castiel and Sterling were right behind him holding their pistols ready for any attackers that should appear behind them. As they moved forward into the next hallway they were immediately surrounded on either end with leviathans. Dean and Castiel aimed and shot as much borax as possible causing many of them to collapse in pain. But as they shot and emptied their guns the stream of leviathans never seemed to end. Suddenly three of them through the pain of the borax leapt forward and tackled Dean to the ground.

“DEAN!” Castiel shouted just as he was tackled himself. Both Castiel and Dean fought relentlessly against their holders but to no avail.

“Boss says he wants them brought to him, alive and unspoiled.” One of them chuckled.

“Wasn’t there a third one?” Another one squeaked.

“If there was, they’ll be found. Search the place, leave no stone unturned.” The makeshift leader of the outfit crouched to get a better look at Deans face which was scratched up now. “I can’t wait to see what he’ll do with you.” He flashed his enormous row of teeth at Dean in the hopes it would spook him. It seemed to only make him angry and fidget a bit in the hold of the leviathan that had him. The leader chuckled at him and waltzed to face Castiel.

“Castiel, how are you, you bastard? Been a while.” He laughed. “Oh, you should see yourself, it’s amazing.”

“Reg, that’s enough mucking around. Take those two to Dick now!” A passing leviathan shouted down the hall.

“Roger that, doing that now.” He looked at his subordinates then to Dean and Castiel. “Let’s get on with it then. Don’t want to keep Dick waiting.”

The two leviathans hauled them to their feet, keeping their holds on them as tight as possible as they loaded up into a nearby elevator.

“You knew we were coming?” Castiel gasped.

“I’ll let Dick enlighten you, don’t want to spoil the surprise.”

“What surprise?” Dean grunted.

“Oh, you’ll see, you’ll all see.”

 Sam, Jack and Claire paused for a breath on the fourth floor. Sam didn’t like that they hadn’t run into anyone yet and was growing more anxious by the minute. Once everyone caught their breath they continued faster this time, up the stairs until they finally reached the top floor door. Sam peered through the tiny window on the door to see if anyone was passing by or standing in the hallway. Just as he was about to open the door, he heard a group of leviathan pass the door.

“In here, stay with them in here. Don’t let them do anything funny until Dick comes.”

Sam peaked through the window to see Dean and Castiel being manhandled into a room a bit farther down the hall, he ran through the layout in his head and realized they had taken them straight to the suite. Sam cursed under his breath and waited for the lumbering leviathan that gave the orders to leave. He ran through some ideas in his mind as he looked at Jack and Claire who were waiting for him to say something.

“Alright you two take this and…” he stopped as he was reaching where he stashed the real bone that was to be used on Dick, and realized it was no longer with him. Jack and Claire could see the panic in his eyes as he tried to figure out if Dean might’ve taken it to finish the job himself.

“What do we do?” Claire grabbed his hand to ground him in the moment and keep him from panicking.

“Alright, here’s the plan…”

 Dean and Castiel were still being held strongly by the leviathans as two more entered the suite from a different door, both stringing along Jody and Donna.

“Jody! Donna!”

 “Hello Dean.”

 Dean turned his head to were he heard the snarky sound come from. Dick appeared from the other room on the opposite side of Donna and Jody, holding a glass of bourbon daintily in his hand.

“Glad to see you’ve been doing well, and you’ve come with more friends. No computer geeks to get you in this time, you had poor Mark give you the deets.” He sat slowly into a leather office chair across from Dean and Castiel. The leviathans all moved everyone in a semicircle around Dick leaving room for more.

“What happened to him?” Dean asked letting a growl emit from his lips.

“Oh, I think you know already. He didn’t have many final words to say, if he did it was lost in the screaming.” He smiled. “It’s so much nicer now that I don’t have to pretend at being human.”

“So, what happened? Why are you all back topside?” Dean asked through gritted teeth.

“I’ll reserve that answer for when we have your brother and all your friends in the room which should be right about…”

In that instant Sam was shoved into the room, splaying him out next to Dean. A leviathan that was standing by jumped on him and held him in a hold mirroring to the one Dean was in.

“Now.” Dick smirked hungrily at Sam then flashed his eyes to the leviathan that threw him in. “Where are the rest?”

“We’re on it.” It said as it left the doorway.

“Now that all important parties are here, I guess I can divulge some information before we get started. So, Sam, just before you dropped in Dean asked the mother of all questions. Why are we back here, on Earth?” He took a sip of his drink and rocked in his chair letting the question sink in. “Funny that. Even I don’t know how it happened. One second I was gorging on vampires in Purgatory and in a flash, I was on Earth. No sun, at first. Undead everywhere, more monsters than you can shake a stick at. Now, care to tell me just what happened to put us here?”

“You mean you don’t know?” Sam asked.

“Oh, come now Sam I’m not going to play this game with you. I could easily just get the answers I want from one of your cop friends.” He eyed Jody up and down as he took another sip of his drink.

“Chuck, started The End.” Dean shouted out.

“The End? The hell is that supposed to mean?” Dick guffawed.

“Exactly what it is asshole. The End of everything. Chuck jumpstarted the end of everything, and not just the world.” Sam grunted.

Realization began to hit Dick of the severity of the situation as he stood from his office chair and walked around to the front of the desk. “So, this is the end of it all?” he wondered out loud. “Outstanding!” a grin stretched across his face as he placed his glass on the desk behind him.

“You’re going to die, same as us! Unless we do something!” Sam was starting to panic, he didn’t expect this kind of reaction.

“Do what? Something we’ve been waiting to happen for eons, and you want to stop it? Well, makes sense for you but little news flash for you. God can’t kill us, never could and never will. Why do you think he brushed us into that endless fight club called Purgatory?” He crossed his arms in front of him.

“There’s something you boys are failing to realize then. If he really cared about you all, then why did he call us back? I’ll tell you why. He doesn’t need you anymore. We now have free reign to do whatever we damn well please. And that includes eating each, and every one of you.” He waltzed over toward Jody and Donna taking Jody by the chin and rotating it around to get a good look at her face.

Just then the door burst open with two more leviathan holding Claire and Jack in a chokehold.

“Jack!” Castiel called.

“Cas! Should I…”

“No! Don’t fight them.” Castiel didn’t want Jack to reveal what he was just yet in case things went south, which was starting to look that way.

“The gang is all here then. So, without further ado, Castiel, Dean, and Sam. I’m going to eat you respectively. I was first going to start with Sam and let you agonize over his death, then Castiel, then everyone else. But I’ve come up with a different order. First…”

He turned back to Jody and Donna. “I’ll eat your cop friends.”

He released his grip on Jody’s jaw, turned, and slowly began walking toward Dean as he talked. “Then the two children, then the fallen angel, then Sam. Then after you beg for death, I’ll eat you, piece by piece, limb by limb.” He crouched down until he was inches from Dean’s face. “You’ll either die slowly as I eat you, or you’ll die of blood loss.” He stood back up in front of Dean and looked around the room at all the dejected faces. “Oh and you won’t be needing that anymore.” He reached down behind Dean and pulled out the decoy bone from under Dean’s jacket. He gave it a good look then snapped it over his knee.

 “So, let’s get this party started!” He clapped his hands together, and as he did so something fell from the ceiling.

 When Sam was showing Sterling the plans and maps of the hotel, he didn’t realize she was memorizing the layout of the ventilation shafts that ran throughout the building. He also didn’t realize she snatched the real bone from him without him even feeling her remove it from him. And once Dean and Castiel were beset on all sides with leviathan she took the opportunity to squirrel away into a vent near them, along with using one or two miracles to make her unnoticeable. It made her stomach churn a bit, but she knew it was what needed to be done. She snaked her way through the ducts until she reached the opening right above Dick as he was giving his menu order.

She readied herself and took note of where each hostage was and their holders. As soon as he was in position, she kicked the screen down and plummeted feet first, throwing four borax balloons in the faces of those holding Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Jody. The leviathans screamed in pain as Dick spun around to face his newest attacker, as he did Sterling surged forward, bone in hand and pierced straight through his chest. She stepped back as Dick stood in shock and stared at the bone in his chest. Dean, Sam, and Castiel all jumped back in preparation for what was to come. Jody freed Donna from a stunned guard and ran to Claire and Jack to also try to move them back as she had heard about the nasty punch this particular item can give to those around it.

“Get back Sterling!” Dean yelled out.

Sterling began to jump back behind the desk but was stopped by a steely shaky grip on her arm. She turned to find Dick Roman was still standing and looking furiously at her, then back to the bone protruding from his chest.

“Now that wasn’t very nice.” He grunted. His being started to flicker a bit and black ooze began forming at his mouth and out his ears, his arms and legs began shaking violently. He looked back and forth from the bone to her as he was still standing in place. “What’s happening?” He asked himself as his shaking slowly ceased and the black ooze stopped flowing.

“Well that’s new.” He smiled as he pulled out the bone with his free hand examined it for a moment then stabbed Sterling in her chest.

“NO!!” Sam, Dean and Castiel yelled in unison as they watched Dick plunge the thrice bloody bone into Sterling’s abdomen. She gasped a few breaths before falling to the floor holding the bone protruding from her chest with a shaky hand.

Dick turned to face Dean and Sam with a wide grin spanning the entirety of his face. “Guess Purgatory no longer exists. Either that or it’s closed.” He pulled out his pocket handkerchief and began cleaning the black ooze from his face.

  “Well, that didn’t work like I’d hoped.”

 Dick paused taking in the voice who just spoke, he turned around to find Sterling standing and pulling out the bone from her chest without so much as wincing.

[purplefictionmom]

I'd normally be like "ALL THE QUESTIONS" but I'm really interested in 7 and 15 (but like if you wanted to do them all then hell yeah pls do)

You know what, Imma answer them all, cause I love you darling~

All answers under the cut, cause I’m sure I'll get long winded, as usual haha

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?I mean, there was a story that I had been sitting on for...10 years, I think? I just didn’t know how I wanted to tell the story. It started as a mockumentary type of thing, then when that didn’t fit the narrative style I wanted to tell, I moved to a classic modern fantasy style, but that didn’t pan out either.

Then, the game called “What Remains of Edith Finch” came out and it hit me so hard that I nearly passed out: that is the perfect narrative style for the book idea I’ve been sitting on!!

Incidentally, if you haven’t played/watched someone play it, “What remains of Edith Finch” is an excellent game and Jacksepticeye does a wonderful let’s play of it :D

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?Not as much anymore, but I used to hate bringing up “...And the Things That Followed.” Just for a short what-for: ATTTF is a Left4Dead/2 fanfiction, reader-insert that started as a sort of experiment: I perused lunaescence and picked a fandom that I was familiar with, but that didn’t have a lot of fanfiction to choose from. I mostly wanted to see if smaller fandoms stay active, even with very little content to choose from. And boy, did I get my answer.

The biggest reason that I ended up embarrassed over it was because I hadn’t intended it to be a romance fic (I mean...the two main characters are the reader and a Hunter, and what with necrophilia being really gross and all...), but I had readers out and out demand for it, to the point of going on strike from reading my fanfic. This was years ago, mind you, so I caved like a wet noodle and now hate that particular fanfic, to the point where I don’t even want to write the two sequels that I already had planned and half-written.

So, it started out as embarrassment, now its more I wish I could just delete it and forget it exists, but I’m one of those authors who has a really hard time deleting anything, even things I hate haha.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?For the very first, ultimate scene I picture in each fic/story/novel, it could really end up anywhere in the final version.

After that first initial scene I see, I try to start as far back as I think I can get away with and move forward from there, so I guess the short answer is I write from beginning to end, no matter how it ends up being at the end, haha.

4) favorite character you’ve writtenI guess this is supposed to not include characters I don’t own, but that’s no fun so here you go:

OC: A supernatural Hunter named Silva and another hunter (who I have an rp blog for) named Theodora ‘Timmie’ Wilson

Non-OC: Writing Yusuke from YYH and Asgore from UT

5) character you were most surprised to end up writingI’m not quite sure what this question means, so I’ll just take a stab and guess it’s talking about how a character can end up differently on paper than how you first envisioned them in your head.

And that award goes to Silva. I expected her to be a hard, cold killer, but she had so much inner turmoil and hidden thoughts that she was definitely the hardest character to write until I actually started to understand her.

Which took an ungodly amount of time, tbh haha.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change nowProbably how often I use the double-hyphen. Its meant to be an alternative to using commas (which, I use to many as it is anyway haha), but now they litter my writing like popcorn on the floor at a midnight release, haha.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?Honestly? A little of both.

I’m someone who sees fanfiction (and any fanwork at all, tbh) as legitimate art forms, but there are so many who not only don’t agree, but they belittle and question those who participate in fandoms.

There are days I have all my shit together and I’m ready to defend my fanfiction to the death, along with all my original content; I have my sources, I have examples, so on and so forth, but other days...

Well, let’s just say there are days I don’t even volunteer that information to people willingly haha.

8) favorite genre to writeOther than fanfiction, I love horror, fantasy, and scifi the best, though there are plenty of times it feels like I’m hardly writing for any of those genres at all, haha.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?Fanfiction, most of the time, but I also listen to songs on the radio, discuss ideas with friends/family (my step-dad was the only person when I was growing up who nurtured my love for telling stories and many of my ideas for novels came from talking with him over the years), or I also like to free-write.

At least, I think its called free-writing haha. I basically just put my pen on paper and just talk to the page with my pen. Sometimes, its just a rant, but more often then not, I’ll find a story or character hidden there.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?All of the above, haha. In the perfect atmosphere, music is playing in the background, and I’m completely alone with no distractions, but since that’s not reality, I’ve sort of forced myself to adapt to what I can.

My computer (where I do 90% of my writing) is in the living room of my house, so my hubby is usually around, and if he’s playing overwatch, then its usually a few voices playing in the background.

If it gets to be too distracting, I just put headphones in, but I also write in notebooks and I take those everywhere, so for that, I just write when/what I can as I go along.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?Definitely dialogue, but also my prose. Honestly, all of it, haha. I look back at stuff I wrote years ago and I wonder how anybody thought I was any good, haha.

12) your weaknesses as an authorIf I had to pick one, its probably that I tend to either over-explain, or under-explain. There is no in-between, haha. My first drafts are often a mess of me focusing in on the details of one room and then not describing a setting for two chapters or more.

13) your strengths as an authorProbably my ability to logically follow order of events, even though I don’t plot, like, at all. This also makes it easy to see where I can divert from what’s expected and explore different avenues.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?Not really? I tend to either put my whole library on shuffle, or I have a dedicated writing playlist that’s full of background music from video games and other things like that.

15) why did you start writing?It started as an outlet.

When I was about 10, my dad came home from work one day while my mom was still at work and while I watched, packed all his stuff into his car, called my mother and told her that if she didn’t get off work soon I’d be home alone, and then left.

I was in a complete and total depression from around then until well into my late teens (I have a little depression now, and a slew of other problems, but now for diff reasons). On top of my dad leaving, my mother, step-father and I all moved to a completely new state, where I started to bomb academically and had literally no friends until almost a year later.

It started out as angsty pre-teen poetry (a lot of which actually still pretty good, even as I go back to read it), then it spilled into fanfiction and fandoms, and around the age of 13--once my step-dad found my love of writing and wanted to pull me away from fanfiction--I finally started writing original ideas out.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?Silva, and a few others. Not so much because their stories are left untold, but moreso because of the way they helped shape me as a writer and the things I was interested in writing about.

The debate about whether or not a writer should write about a certain subject usually stems from readers, but I tend to lean toward the argument from a writer’s point of view: there are subjects that I broached as a teenager that I needed to explore in order to be who I am today, as a person and as a writer. Not to say I have something horrible in my writer’s past that I wouldn’t be able to share, but more that it might be questionable about the age that I delved into those topics. (and no, I don’t mean just smut, though that is included in what I’m talking about)

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?Stop wasting your time trying to please family members with what you write. Most of them are going to ignore the whole of your writing and focus in on the one swear word you threw in for characterization anyway.

Write what makes you happy; whether or not its publishable isn’t the point. You’re just starting out and you need to write; to get better, to learn the ropes, so just go WRITE!

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?Oh geez...at the beginning, everything I read affected my writing style. Fanfiction, published novels, everything.

Probably my biggest influencers would be “The Green Mile” by Stephen King, “The Hobbit” by JRR Tolkien, “This Present Darkness” By Frank Peretti.

And while these are hugely different authors with different writing styles, they more influenced me in my way of thinking. Of expanding my imagination of what could be if I just had the courage to write it.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?I either have a notebook filled with notes about characters/information, or I use a website called Hiveword(dot)com. It’s a novel tracking website that also advertises its program (which you have to pay for), but the website itself is free and you can store all the information about your book, characters, timeline, etc.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?Both, but I get more done with longer sessions. I know that seems like a no-brainer, but its more because of how I prep myself for my writing time:

I have to have a glass of water or cup of coffee, I have to have my music playing (which, with spotify could take a few minutes to load), I have to re-read the last page or so of what was previously written so I can get back into the feel of it, then I can actually sit down and write.

the little spurts end up being in my notebooks and they’re a mess, honestly, haha.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?I used to cringe and close it immediately, but I’ve been trying to analyze and see the biggest differences in my writings from a then and now standpoint. Sometimes its really hard, if its particularly bad or whatev, but its been a real confidence booster when I can see where I was and where I am now.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?Not uncomfortable, per se, but I tend to try and think of things from a reader’s perspective at the same time I write, so there are times when I get a little too involved in what’s happening on the page, haha.

HIAPOTS was a terror to write at some points because of this.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?All of it, if I’m being honest, but obscure things specifically? Hmm...

I mean, probably the fact that I give all my pets personalities and conversations between each other? I do it without thinking, but there are times where I’ll find myself using lines or situations from this weird little thing in my actual writings, haha.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?OMG SO MUCH. Like, idk about ‘expert’, but I have so much useless trivia in my head because of being an author. Talk with me for an hour and see if I don’t throw ‘fun facts’ into the mix of our conversations haha.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud ofOh ugh...umm...let me to look...

From a currently unpublished reader/sans fic I’m writing:You understand, don’t you, Sans? 

Sure, Sans understood. Sans always understood. He was the one who didn’t make waves, or overturn boats--you could always count on Sans to be the reassuring nod when you felt lost or the understanding ex who’s perfectly okay with just letting things die, even though the ending came as the greatest punchline ever written in history:

He hadn’t even seen it coming.

(I love delving into characters’ heads, and i love it more when i can do it well enough to feel comfortable with letting other people read it, haha)

From Part 6 of my Garrus/Reader serial fic:“They were my cases,” Garrus admitted, his eyes finally leaving Castis’s in favor of looking at the floor, “And I can’t watch it happen again.”

If Castis didn’t have such a steely reign on his composure now, Garrus might have been clued into his father’s line of thought. As it was, Castis was being forced to realize that he had been wrong in his assessments of his son.The older turian had always thought Garrus shirked the rules and regulations as a form of rebellion, since Castis stepped in and forced him to quit training for the spectres--as if to prove he didn’t care about what his father cared about. Now, Castis realized the reason Garrus pushed them aside so easily was because he did care, maybe too much.

(Honestly, the whole argument between Castis and Garrus in this part of the fic is something I’m proud of)