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#he apologized and admitted i haven’t deserved any of this behavior
lilgynt · 2 years
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you know what funny enough during all of the shit between the last few days my brother and i were doing our usual routine of awkwardly texting and then i noticed with his like letter saying how he loves and thanks me for dealing with this fucked situation he sent me like 50 bucks so i got my dad settled long enough for me to make a two bags of edibles deep call to him and we talked a lot
#personal#i called out the shit i thought i should#like we were both at negative times in our life#my negative didn’t break ur door 😐#and he was like fair that’s too my negative stuff negatively impacted your#ur life several ways#and we talked a bit through that and he was like you’ve been the emotional rock between us and always handled ur temper with more grace#and adding up all the hurts you gave me are nothing compared how good you’ve been to me/ in my life#and i emphasized that he’s been better to me/ my life than against it#also soemthing about him moving out causing this and i was like no a lot of these were issues when we were younger too#he also was like blame all my issues on mom and dad and i was like could have told you that in elementary#it wasn’t just bashing him but it felt good to call out those bits#and he even agreeed when i did!#he apologized and admitted i haven’t deserved any of this behavior#and he talked about his therapy and how he pretends to be me and his therapist him and it doesn’t feel good what he feels#he feels genuinely awful but understands if i can’t forgive him and go back or try to make soemthing new like what we had#and he misses just being able to talk to me And went over our bond through the years and emphasized how much he loves me#i mentioend that he mentioned therapy on christmas and i got a broken door for it#btw he didn’t apologize for the door bc he didn’t know about it when i revealed it i didnt describe the event to him and he couldn’t#pin point when it happened and was trying to see if he like. blacked it out. or something so that’s on me mostly#like 99% me 1% him for breaking it - my friends say he should have said sorry the second i told him regardless but meh#anyway he acknowledged that and acknowledged im gonna need to see it in action but he wants to work on being a better big brother to me#and he loves and misses me#it was nice actually it gave me a lot of what i needed i also offered to go to therapy with him so maybe on that but very nice and he’s#trying to help more with the dad situation- if nothing else is just acknowledging how fucked up this is i which is super needed
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fictionkinfessions · 9 months
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@ The recent Max and Chloe.
I’m sorry for cutting in since it’s not my place at all, and I’m sure I’m the last person either of you want to hear from, all things considered, but I haven’t found either of you in this life (yet?) and need to take the opportunity while I have it and well… you’re both here.
I want to apologize for everything. I know some parts of what happened weren’t my fault, at least not entirely, and I know an apology can never undo what I did to you both, but I am really, truly sorry. I had so much going on in my head and in my personal life, but had no outlet for any of it, so I took all the pain I was feeling out on everyone else. I’m not trying to excuse my behavior by any means, but I want you to know I’ve got my head screwed on semi-right this time and well… No one deserved anything I put them through. I figured that out back then too, but I’d done so much already it felt pointless to admit anything or apologize for what I’d done. I don’t really know if it would’ve made a difference then, but you both deserve to hear it now. I’m really, really sorry. I regret everything, if I could change what happened,l– what I did, what he did to all of us– I would without hesitation. I don’t expect you to forgive me, of course, I don’t even forgive myself, but… I want you to know I’m doing better here. A lot better— well as better as a system can be. Got treatment for stuff and kept away from heavier substances- even have a plan in place to ensure I stay sober! My dad still sucks and I’ve still got problems, but you can’t win them all, right?
I hope life’s better for you guys too, that you’re both happy and as healthy as you can be. I hope the world’s been kind to you, and that you’re given a break this go around. Gods know you both deserve it. It’s honestly relieving to see you both still around after what, almost a decade? Was worried it was just Warren and I still kicking. Maybe in a better life we could’ve been friends... Wishful thinking, I guess.
Take care of yourselves, please. — Nathan Prescott (#🐺🚬, #fictive)
x
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notjohnlegere · 2 years
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Heyy so all I want is arguing/angst and smut like maybe timothée is super toxic
I knew I had a request for this somewhere!
I’ve been wanting to do a little blurb on a Toxic!Timmy AU, just to test it out and see what you guys think. I feel like I should apologize in advance, I’m so used to writing real Timmy and having everyone tell me they love the accuracy.
So please please pleeaaaassseee let me know what you think of this style! It’s definitely not our actual boy, but it was fun to explore a completely different character.
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Toxic
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Toxic
Timothée Chalamet x Reader
alternate universe where timmy is toxic. if you like fics where timmy is portrayed accurately, this isn’t for you. angst. smut. he’s just a terrible person in this, really. part two.
*obligatory mobile formatting apology*
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“Why are you lying to me when the proof is right there?!” You shouted. You were furious, which was something that wasn’t uncommon in your house. Once again, your boyfriend had been caught, and you had to sit back as the whole world watched your embarrassment.
“I wasn’t out anywhere with her!” Timothée shouted. You had to admit, he was a convincing liar, but that didn’t change anything. “You’re crazy! Why are you always looking for something wrong with me?!”
“There’s videos of you kissing her!”
“That’s not me!”
“Then why is she wearing your clothes?!” Your voice broke. You were fighting everything in you not to cry. You knew every time you cried he won. He would say you were just too emotional or that you were on your period, then brush the problem to the side.
“More than one guy can’t own the same pair of shorts?!” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He said your name but it landed on foreign ears. “Maybe you should go spend the night with your friend.”
“Why? So you can bring her over here and fuck her in my bed? Haven’t disrespected me enough yet, Timothée?” You spat.
“I don’t-!” He bit his lip and slapped his hand against the drywall. “We need to be apart until you get over whatever psychotic episode you’re having. Do you really believe I’d cheat-“
“Yes.” You cut him off. “Yes I do. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. Don’t be so naïve, the both of us know this isn’t the first time.”
“Woman-“ His tone was graced with warning.
“Go to hell.” With that said, you stormed out of the room. You finally let the hot tears spill down your cheeks.
*
“Why do you keep letting him treat you like this?” Your best friend, Naomi, asked. You had been at her house for a few hours now after you stormed out. She was always the one to pick up your broken pieces whenever you and Timothée fought, which lately was more often than not.
“I don’t know.” You sighed. You were just as much of a liar as he was, though. Because you did know. You knew exactly why you accepted the behavior. You leant your head onto her shoulder, you were both sitting on her couch.
“Then stop it.” She said. “Come move in with me and Isaac. You can take the extra room-“
“I can’t do that.” You replied, feeling the tears run down your cheeks again. “I can’t leave him.”
“Yes you can.” She reassured you. “There’s nothing stopping you but yourself. You can get out of there and be done with him.”
“I can’t, I love him.”
“A man like that doesn’t deserve your love.” Her voice was softer now, you knew she felt bad for you. You didn’t want her to feel bad. “All he does is use you. You do everything for him and then he turns around and cheats. He’s not gonna have any better than you. And he needs to see that.”
“But he can change. He wasn’t like this when we got together. He can go back to being my Timmy. The fame got to his head. He’s only twenty-“
“Stop making excuses for him. When you came in here you were furious and now you’re begging off.” She sighed. “If it is the fame that went to his head, then he needs to experience it. Leave his ass and let him actually realize how good he has it with you. Maybe it’ll knock some sense into him.”
“Maybe you’re right.” You sighed and bit your lip. “He won’t be home. I can go get my stuff and disappear tonight.”
“Do you want me or Isaac to come with you?”
“No.” You said. “I can go alone.”
*
You did just that. Late that night, around midnight, you snuck back to your shared apartment. Quietly you unlocked the door and slipped inside. He would be out with friends at an hour like this, so you knew he wouldn’t—
“Oh god, yes! Fuck me, Timothée!” You heard a loud shout and a moan. At that instant your heart dropped into your stomach like a rock.
You could hear the bed creaking, you could hear her moans, the worst part was you could hear his moans. The ones that used to be reserved for you and you only.
You held your chin up and walked down the hall anyway, avoiding looking into the room with the open door, and went straight to collect your things. The girl must’ve seen you walk by because she shouted.
“Oh god I think someone broke in!”
You walked into your room, grabbed your favorite duffel bag, and began shoving random things into it.
A few moments later you heard footsteps and a door slam. You flinched to the loud noise.
“What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you said you were going to-“
“I did. And I came back to get some of my stuff. Is that a crime?” You snapped back. You were out of emotion to offer him. He didn’t deserve your emotion.
“You should’ve called first.”
“Called first to walk into a place I pay half rent on? Don’t be ridiculous.” For the first time that evening you looked toward him. He stood there, leaning against the door, naked, dick still hard. You shivered, throwing your erotic thoughts to the back of your mind. Now is not the time.
Unfortunately, it was too late. He had seen your reaction.
“Ohhh.” He sauntered over to you, playfulness on his voice. “Mad at me, taking all her stuff, running away, but still can’t keep her eyes off my cock?”
You were silent.
“You know I love you.” He said softly, taking your chin in between his fingers. He made you look at him.
“Do I?” You rolled your eyes. You couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter, though. You had wanted him to say that for so long. All you had wanted was for him to love you.
“You do.” He said. Within an instant his lips were on yours.
“Get rid of her.” You mumbled when his lips touched yours. “Get rid of her and I’ll stay.”
“Give me five minutes.” He broke the kiss and exited the room.
While he was gone, you stared at the duffel bag in your hands. Maybe he was right.
Maybe you were just overreacting. What did it really matter if he fooled around with others sometimes? He always came back to you. He was completely in love with you, he was addicted to you. Nobody could ever give him what you do. Those other girls may have him for a moment, but you always got him in the end. He was yours, and that’s something they couldn’t take from you.
You smiled softly to yourself and dropped the duffel bag. Maybe he did love you all this time and you were just too dumb to see it.
You walked out of the room to be met with Timothée, who was on his way back to you. You both stopped in your tracks. You smiled at him and felt giddiness well up inside of you. Finally, you were getting what you wanted.
Crashing into his room, lips on each other’s, his hands on your body, the way it was supposed to be. It didn’t take long for him to strip you of your bottoms and push you onto your back on the bed. He entered you quickly and fully, which made a shout erupt from your throat.
His lips stayed attached to your neck and his hips slammed against yours fervently. You were completely blissed out, you were finally feeling his skin on yours again. It was something that you had wanted for so long.
“Move back in here.” He muttered against your neck. “Back into our room.” Your heart soared. You wanted nothing more than that. To be his again.
“Ooohhh- okay.” You said with a giggle on your lips. “Ooh, that feels so good, Timothée.”
“So fucking tight.” He muttered as his hands explored your body. “So perfect for me.”
When all was said and done, you lied next to him in bed for the first time in ages. You watched him light up a cigarette, a habit of his you hated, but you didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“I love you, Timothée.” You said. You snuggled your face into his ribs and felt comfortable. Sleep slowly began to take you over.
“I know.”
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ao3 is johnlegere, find my fics there too. requests are open, send one in my ask box. hope you enjoyed :)!
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🏷: @thestarsaregivenonceonly @timotheeisthelomll @imnotoverlyobsessive @dayafied @ohladymoon @writings-art
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dissociativesworld · 3 years
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Patience
Pairing: Wrecker x reader
Tags: little bit of angst, dom!Wrecker, cock warming, sex in the pilot seat (sorry tech), overstimulation, implied squirting, probably some other stuff I'm not thinking of
A/N: I had no idea how to end this so it's a little hasty at the end hope ya'll don't mind. Also no idea if I'm tagging people correctly
Taglist: @4rosydreams @kesshou-otome @cobiwanbanobi
NSFW below the cut
A shower had never felt so good. You didn’t even care that it was cold, after months on that godforsaken planet you were finally home. As one of the few females on base, you got your own room but you also knew that more than likely Wrecker would probably be passed out on your bed once you opened the ‘fresher door.
He hadn’t followed you to your room after the mission like he normally did. Hopefully, it was just because he wanted a shower just as badly as you did. But you also couldn’t help but think it probably had to do with your behavior on the mission which you still needed to genuinely apologize for. You’d lost your temper when he made a risky decision, not following the plan.
“Why can’t you be patient for once?!” You’d shouted at him.
In the few years, you’d known the Batch, you’d never raised your voice to any of them. And definitely not Wrecker even in the past year you’d been dating. It was out of character for you and it startled the entire team. Even Crosshair was shocked. And the look your boyfriend gave you broke your heart. But you didn’t want to admit you were in the wrong in front of them. You just wanted them to be safe and if they thought they’d piss you off by doing stupid shit, then you’d be the bad guy.
You turned the water off before wrapping yourself in a towel, the standard-issue military towel almost too small to cover you properly. Walking through your room to grab your blacks you were disappointed to see that Wrecker wasn’t there. Well, you needed sleep anyway. As you crawled into bed, it felt wrong. Too empty without being snuggled up to the large trooper. Maybe things would be back to normal in the morning.
~~~
The next morning you wandered down the halls of Kamino looking for your squad. Peeking into their barracks you were disappointed to see all of them, minus Wrecker.
“If you’re looking for Wrecker he slept in the Marauder last night.” Crosshair all but growled at you.
You made a face, “what? Why?”
“You really have to ask?” He scowled at you, normally he was pretty neutral toward you but he obviously didn’t appreciate that you hurt his brother’s feeling.
Sighing you doubled back to the hangar. You could see him sitting in the cockpit, a pout on his lips as he stared into space. You walked quietly onto the ship, quiet enough that he didn’t look up as you walked up behind him.
“Is it okay if I join you?” You asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Wrecker glanced up, suddenly having his trademark smile on his face. “Mesh’la, I was just thinking about you.”
He pulled you down into his lap, his half-hard erection emphasizing his words.
“I came to apologize.” You smiled up at him.
He chuckled darkly, “I have a way you can make it up to me.”
You quirked an eyebrow, wondering where he was going with this. His sudden change in attitude with your appearance had you wondering what he was thinking. Granted his smile was a welcome change.
“What did you have in mind handsome?” You asked.
Wrecker pulled you back against him, his cock hard against your ass. He kissed your neck, the other hand pulling your shirt up.
“You realize that anyone can walk into the hangar and see us?” You whispered, now wanting to admit that the thought went straight to your core.
He just hummed in response, his wandering hand moving up to your breasts, squeezing your breast none too gently. You gasped in response, grinding yourself against him.
“I’m going to test your patience sweet girl.” He growled low in your ear.
Your heart was in your throat. Wrecker was one of the most kind-hearted people you knew but since getting to know him a little more intimately you’d learned he wasn’t all soft and sweet. And since he learned you weren’t as fragile as you seemed, he’d enjoyed pushing your limits quite a bit.
“I was plenty patient during that mission mesh’la, considering I wanted nothing more than to lean you over the closest surface and fuck you.” His voice was a low grumble.
You whimpered in response, you could feel your slick soaking your panties.
“Look at you all quiet now, where’s my angry girl?” Wrecker asked as he nibbled on your ear.
Your face was uncomfortably flushed, your cunt was throbbing. Not thinking you moved your hand down to touch yourself through your blacks. Wrecker hooked his chin over your shoulder, watching your movements for a moment before putting his hand over your own.
“I haven’t even started yet cyare, are you sure I’m the impatient one?” His hot breath fanned down your neck before kissing your pulse point.
“Maybe not.” You murmured, leaning back allowing the hand up your shirt to pull it up over your head.
“No bra mesh’la? Naughty girl.” He chuckled, pulling his own shirt off before pulling your back against his chest.
Despite being together for so long you’d never get tired of feeling his muscle-bound body against yours. You could feel every movement against you as he wrapped his arms around you, pinning your arms to your sides, a hand dipping between your legs. His touch was teasingly light, kissing your bare shoulders before biting down on the junction of your shoulder and neck, sucking a bruise there.
You whimpered again, squirming in his lap, desperate for more friction.
Wrecker paused his actions. “Don’t draw too much attention to us cyare, you don’t want anyone to see us do you?”
Instead of responding you ground your ass against his cock earning a growl from him.
“Or maybe you do, naughty girl. You want one of my vod to see how riled up I get you? See how good I fuck you?” He bit another spot on your shoulder.
“Please Wrecker.” You whined.
“Pants off, now.” Wrecker all but pushed you off his lap roughly, pulling the waistband of his pants down enough for his cock to spring free.
You pulled your pants down, you’d just barely gotten it below your ass when Wrecker pull you back down onto his lap.
“Giving the rest of them a show mesh’la? Why not just walk the halls naked?” Wrecker growled, hand grabbing your thighs roughly, pulling them apart so that they were hooked over his own.
He pushed your shoulders forward so that your ass lifted off of his lap, with his other hand grabbing his cock and rubbing its head through your folds. You knew you were dripping already, his quiet moans indicating he was enjoying the sight. He pulled you down onto his cock, the thick length spreading you open.
“Take it cyare, such a good girl.” His voice was deep as he reached around you to wrap a hand around your neck just below your chin.
He filled you more than you’d ever been before, you couldn’t move without his cock pressing against a sensitive spot inside you. His free hand went down to your clit rubbing lazy circles. You moved your hips, wanting movement but he stopped you, the grip on your neck tightening and pulling you back roughly. When you swallowed you could feel the strength of his hold.
Again you started squirming, the full feeling of his cock inside you building tension especially as he applies more pressure to your clit. He again tightened his grip, this time pulling your head back to his shoulder.
“I can sit here buried in your pussy all day cyare. I don’t think you deserve to cum after the attitude you gave me on that mission.” His voice was low but you could detect a smirk from him before he kissed your cheek before tilting your mouth to press against his.
“Please Wrecker. I want to feel you cum inside me.” You begged.
“Nice try mesh’la.” He chuckled, fingers against your clit pressing against you roughly.
The building tension was threatening to snap, arched your back, pressing yourself into his hand desperate for release. Wet heat radiated from inside your cunt, you could feel your wetness dripped down his cock and thighs as pleasure shook your core.
“Look at that cyare, squirting everywhere making a mess. You like my fingers and cock that much?” He teased. “Let’s see if you can do that again.”
His hand returned to your clit, now even more tender than before. The crescendo of pleasure building quickly again still riding on the pleasure of your last orgasm.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You whimpered a chant under your breath as you felt yourself tighten around his cock again.
“That a girl, let go.” He moaned, kissing your neck.
Your second orgasm was more intense than the first, your vision blurring as pleasure flooded your body with the snap. Wrecker’s hips thrust into you with a few shallow thrusts before he moaned loudly, his cock twitching inside you as he came.
You stood on shaky legs to lean against the control panel, needing to get away from the stimulation but unable to stand on your own.
“You okay mesh’la?” Wrecker asked, concern evident in his voice as he gently touched your thigh.
You laughed, trying to brush off his concern. “Yeah, that was just a lot.”
You could hear him shifting behind you, assumably pulling his pants back up.
“C’mere cyare, let me hold you.” He murmured, pulling you back onto his lap, gentler this time.
You snuggled against him, his warm body gone from rigid to soft and comforting. His arms wrapped around you, cradling you to his chest. You two stayed like that for a few moments before you dressed and both of you made your way back to your room before you both passed out in each other’s arms.
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anonil88 · 4 years
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Malcolm and Marie live blog
I don't usually do liveblogs for movies but yea.
Spoilers ahead!!
I love that its modern timed but very 70s stylized.
A tune indeed.
When you are high and drunk on success and
How the white critic reacts is why I feel like gatekeeping my scripts. At the same time some things I do make are about race or involve.
Marie sitting on the patio smoking is a mood whenever men are talking.
So he's pretentious and unaware.
Whoever chose the music for this, I feel like we would be Spotify mutuals.
Can this nigga stop pacing.
Also can he stop talking;
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Marie is so tired and unimpressed.
Also little booties matter and are to be bitten.
Oooo the tension and the jazz.
Title Card over mac and cheese.
Shitty boxes mac and cheese but still mac and cheese.
Tbh i always wonder if spouses/significant others get upset when their spouses don't acknowledge them during speeches.
John sounds so much like his dad but I really hope his acting style differs from his dad a lot.
Guilty confession?
He did not profit off of his partners backstory and then not even acknowledge her.....I.....
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If that ever happened to me catch me cussing my partner out during the beginning credits, the end credits, in the car, and at home.
GASLIGHTER!
The way I'm excited for Zendaya to give me some, oooo can she work with Regina King. Please on my knees I pray.
Um no that's not your job to coddle your lead.
He's a dick and the type of dick who makes himself look like a good person around other people.
If Sam Levinson is trying to make his viewers more of misandrist, it's working.
I feel like Marie has her flaws probably a lot of them and we will surely see as this continues, but Malcolm needs to learn how to apologize sincerely.
70s vibes! 70s vibes!
Them kissing and talking about criticism and dreams makes me miss a partner. A partner that I've had and haven't had.
Women really are behind every great man.
Yea sir you fucked a happy moment.
Oh visual allegories for looking in from the outside and cat and mouse chasing and looking from the outside in.
She's saying she doesn't feel noticed by you.
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Gas lighter :0 he called her an emotional support dog, bruh.
I would LOVE to co-write or take a writing class held by Sam Levinson. The fights i write are very much in this same realm of reflection and anger and monologue.
Sam.....sam.....are all the sides inside of you doing okay sir?
The ugly side of dating and being in a relationship with someone who struggles with their own demons.
Honestly I could close my eyes and listen to this script being read without seeing these characters visually. Just close my eyes and get a sense of these characters like it was a radio story.
Oh. Oh this is a new wheelhouse of Zendaya acting; a different voice is like breaking through here and her expressions aren't the same we are used to. You can literally hear another character in there....hmm.
Mans is outside really fighting with his invisible demons lmfao.
Selfish ass, how after everything she said you came out of it thinking about your own craft and self instead of how you hurt her.
So she's conditional.
Me: did sam (a white man) say nigga this many times in his script or are the actors adding their own inflections. Not just the lingo used but the topic of race and directing etc. being written by a white writer about black characters is always gonna be a critique when you're writer is a white person.
Alexa play Broken Girls by Saba
He is so hurtful.
A clown nigga a clown look in the fucking mirror you bozo head ass looking like you need some Mehron clown white and a size 16 in clown shoes.
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John is doing a really swell performance and reading of these lines.
He is reading her for her insecurities by bringing up his experiences with other women and that.....is yikes.
Arguments can get messy like this in real life but it takes a lot of maturity and control to either not let it get to this point or have a healthy conversation afterwards.
This film is really shot on some very crisp lenses.
They sitting there like 🚬🧍‍♀️🧍‍♂️.
Leftover Mac and Cheese and unfinished cigarettes.
The nyt etc. pay walls are so annoying, but there is a work around look at the articles on incognito or add a period at the end of the url.
He sounds like his daddy so much here, weird, this is the only part I'm eh on the dialogue it feels real but a bit out of pace in how they are bouncing off one another.
Nail scissors? So the end is not the only part he based off of Marie. 🙄
ITS A GOOD REVIEW YOU DINGUS but also its a full review they are going to critique things. She isn't wrong though he did profit off of a woman's story that was not his own to profit from.
Yes Malcolm because unfortunately all marginalized people look through a lens of life that is inherently political because of the world they live in.
He is so mad and upset and had a lot on his chest. But I think he Malcolm and Sam are talking about something thats an issue and a non issue. Being critiqued for you art is hard but also Malcolm is not super self aware. He's like a stand in figure of for example rich depop sellers who wanna be oppressed so badly they yell at others instead of examining their own personal behaviors and ethics.
Oh Marie, when you know the spark is gone and you pick fights because.
He ain't even ask her to read?
One critic I have for most of hollywood actors is they learn their cry and that is it. A change from this is Margot Robbie, I adore her fluctuations of crying being similar but the crying is carried differently for each character. If I had to say any actor that does a cry scene amazing its this woman right here (Amy Adams)
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You stole her story from her and gave it away, she has a right to be upset and angry and a rubber band ball of emotions.
Citizen Kane, not the cinematography, but the story is it even that good? (Unpopular opinion but meh, maybe in my rewatch it will be better.)
But that is what people want authenticity and whatever authenticity means to them. What is real for one is false for another.
To be honest look at the criticism of Euphoria, well earned, but a lot of people were like this isn't real even though he literally wrote about his own life. People said it was inauthentic like....wtf.
Ahh the smoking is just a habit, he quit and she didn't.
CAST ZENDAYA IN A HORROR MOVIE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING. Get Lupita and Zendaya and some more black actors preferably less known ones in a horror movie. One with a interesting script and story, directed by Regina King. Please and thankyou.
I love Marie yep that was amazing.
Behind every great man is a greater woman, one that deserves her credit for how she has stood behind. I wonder the stories of those women, what they have sacrificed or not sacrificed. Their thoughts and feelings when the world is surrounding their partner and views them as a plus one. (I'd write a short script about this but I think do I have the time, can I, or am I equipped ?)
He is a shitty person for bringing up his exes, like she even said I don't wanna know any of that.
Imagine being on anti depressents and rarely having a sex drive and then when you do your partner starts talking about their exes and tearing you apart for all your faults.
I love when you see peaks of Zendaya's cadence in roles.
Tension, what if's and he didn't even bring her up in his speech.
Marie to herself and the audience:
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He is not afraid that he will loose her but as my character says in my unreleased story, "i can't wait til you give me a fucking reason to leave your ass." Malcolm expects everything in order for not even doing the bare minimum and she is only asking him for something as simple as consideration. She just wants him to be considerate. He wants to get married and considers their relationship like rolling down a hill at full speed and he cannot apologize, he cannot be considerate, and he cannot admit his wrongs. He can only offer her I love yous that he probably does mean but he does not back up outside of what he's done for her in the past. The past which was more of her experience than his and he sees his part in it as a burden. He doesn't use his own vantage point of the past to further his career he uses her. He does all of these things without a real apology or thankyou because he is not afraid to loose her.
The restrictions of quarantine and the panorama have made Sam's writing very no frills. I wonder how other films from other directors and writers that are filmed in small contained crews like this will be structured. But this was a very good movie gonna add to my letter box 3.3-3.5
Oh shit this is my song,
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Ratings/overall thoughts:
Script is like a C+, B- : I could go into my heavier big brain thoughts on the script but I don't feel like it. You catch hints of it above it centers conversation on race and privilege, mainly the writers and questions i have that won't be answered but Sam did make me grow disdain for Malcolm over a short time. Which is sometimes hard to do because im one sympathetic person but the sympathy i have for Malcolm is at 0. Maybe a 2 at some scenes but then it quickly goes back to 0. Some parts of the dialogue miss the mark or hit the are off balanced. While some of it like Malcolm's bathroom speech albeit mean is really strong or their conversation when he comes back from peeing really shines for me.
Performances: B+ to A- because they carried the script further than it could of gone with less talented actors. The monologues do well to showcase their current skill levels which are already high af and leave room for anticipation in where these actors go next.
Zendaya holding a knife: A+ with a gold star. That switch on and off and on is delectable.
John being a shitty boyfriend but following Marie like a lost puppy: B+ with a good job written at the bottom of the paper, Malcolm being nervous a frantic dialed up with more realistic nervousness would have sold me completely on Malcolm's anxious waiting.
Cinematography: A and a participation award.
The mac and cheese: A+ for the easy mac. Wish it was like Annie's or Velveeta.
Cigarettes: Participation award and their picture hung up for student of the month. Why the grill lighter? Everytime Malcolm opened up his mouth Marie was like sparks fly.
The music: A++ with a prize. Whoever picked the music probably makes good Spotify playlists.
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Yandere! Taehyung x reader
Taehyung liked you. Taehyung really liked you. That was why he had chosen you, wasn’t it? Because you were easy on the eyes and you had a head on your shoulders. Your heart was pure — at least, pure enough for him — and the sex between the two of you was great. The synergy was there. Personal chemistry was present. The only thing was that you were the first woman he had ever really liked this much.
This was his first real, committed relationship. He didn’t feel constrained or held down by your demand for exclusivity. On the contrary, it scared him how okay he was with it. To give up his freedom like that for an average girl like you? He would have laughed in anyone else’s face and told them to take a hike. Not you, though. And that fucking scared him.
Three months. It had taken you three months to burrow your way into his heart. You were some sort of witch. Perhaps you were a seductress. Yeah, that had to be it. There couldn’t be any other reason for his sudden, obsessive thoughts and overprotective behavior.
“Who the fuck is that?”
“Tae, that’s my brother.”
“Didn’t like how he looked at you.”
“…did you miss the part where I said he’s my brother?!”
Who gave a fuck if a man was related to you? That wouldn’t stop him from making a move if he wanted to. There were some sick fucks in this world. Didn’t you understand that? Didn’t you understand that he was just trying to keep you safe and his?
But no, you couldn’t simply listen to him. You were independent. He had once liked that about you. Now, however, it pissed him off. It got in the way of you being the submissive woman he needed you to be. It needed to be squished.
Unbeknownst to you, there was a darkness lurking within your boyfriend. Sure, he could be mean, and sure, he pulled some tricks that bordered on abusive, but those things were child’s play compared to what truly lied below the surface. He could be far, far worse than he was. All it took was your love and attention to sow the seeds of darkness. You had made him comfortable enough to expose his genuine traits. If he was being honest with himself, this was your fault. If you hadn’t told him you would love him regardless of how much he changed during his work, then maybe he would have been able to help himself.
You stupid fucking girl. You should have never tempted a man like him with vows as impure as that. Had you thought him to be so noble that he would overlook your words and do the socially acceptable thing? No — you had to know that saying such a thing would serve to tempt a monster like him.
The game started with little quips here and there; nothing major. During a small argument, he had called you an ugly bitch beneath his breath. Of course, he had apologized after you had caught it and started crying. Although, that’s when he had first realized how insecure you were. Your appearance, your intelligence, the way you spoke, your personality traits — they were all free game. You didn’t like yourself as much as you let on. He would expose this gradually, and by the time you finally realized what he was doing, you wouldn’t be able to leave. You would think you were worthless. You would think you were nothing. You would be stuck with him, the sole one who could ever love a pathetic sack of crap like you.
Taehyung knew how much you would suffer through this process, but how else was he supposed to secure you at his side? You were beautiful and capable and bright and and and— God, you were his everything. In such a short amount of time, you were his everything. That was why he couldn’t risk you leaving.
He made it a goal to make you feel like utter garbage at every twist and turn. One day, he would no longer need to do this, but until that day came, he would just have to suck it up and be the villain.
The next technique he tested out was backhanded remarks beyond an argument setting. He would never forget how fast your head had snapped around to stare at him, eyes hurt and facial expression confused. You had been perplexed as to what had warranted him to say a thing like that. He had maintained his composure, however, and merely raised a brow. He had treated the circumstance like your reaction had been the odd thing about it all — not what he had said.
“I said your fuckin’ hair was nice!” He had snapped, rolling his eyes at your audacity.
You had whispered meekly, “you said it would be nice… if I bothered to get it trimmed every once in a while.”
To which he had shrugged callously. “Want me to make you an appointment somewhere? I know a guy that can work with anythin’.”
Much to his shock, you had asked him for the number of his stylist a few days following this event. You had even admitted that he had been right to say that your hair didn’t look the best. And that’s when Taehyung knew that you responded best to emotional conditioning in this horrendous art form.
So, when you tried to exit the house a few weeks later, he amped it up a bit. You were getting weaker by the day. Sometimes, you wouldn’t even want to look at yourself in the mirror. He’d had the pleasure of witnessing the grimaces you made when you were brushing your teeth in the morning; you didn’t even think you were sub-par anymore.
Why? Because in his eyes, you could always be better.
Much better.
You came into the kitchen with a slight bounce in your step. Taehyung didn’t even have to look up from his paperwork to know that you had done yourself up nice tonight because you thought you were going to an office party. Keyword: thought. The only thing that was going anywhere tonight was the rest of your self-esteem. Once that was gone, he could focus on your singularity. He couldn’t have you thinking you could exist without him, just as much as he couldn’t have you thinking you were anything without him.
“Okay, hun, I think I’m gonna head out,” you said softly, your voice low and your eyes cast to the ground.
You were acting exactly as he had taught you. Those who were lesser than him didn’t get the privilege of viewing him, in all his glory. He hadn’t assumed that this behavior would extend beyond the bedroom, but fuck, was he glad it had.
“What’s with all that dumbass makeup?” He grunted with a frown. “Look like a fuckin’ clown.”
Your face shrunk. Sheepishly, you turned to look at yourself in the nearby wall mirror. You didn’t think it was too much at the time you had applied it. It was a bit of eyeliner and mascara. You had covered a few of your blemishes and bruises with foundation, too, but he couldn’t have known that. Taehyung didn’t take an interest in your makeup. It was because of this that you valued his opinion so much. If he could see a flaw in what you had applied, it was probably more accurate than what you saw.
You were biased; he had helped you realize this.
“Do I?” You questioned absently.
He finally afforded you with a cold glare when you turned around to face him. The disappointed expression on your face revealed it all; you were doubting yourself yet again. You were waiting for him to give you the validation you needed but didn’t quite deserve. Self-esteem wasn’t free, though; you had to earn that shit. Hadn’t he taught you anything?
“C'mere,” he demanded, eyes twinkling with excitement he didn’t even bother trying to mask. “Sit on my lap, stupid woman.”
You trudged over to where he was situated at the kitchen table, pouting gently. You plopped down atop his lap. You didn’t like how he flinched upon impact.
“Fuck, you gainin’ weight or some shit?” He hissed, flexing his thighs beneath your ass. “Almost made my damn legs buckle.”
It was false, of course. You had gained no more weight than when you had first met him. Nonetheless, you didn’t need to know that. You only needed to feel insecure. You only needed to listen to what he said.
“Oh no,” you whispered, voice akin to the soft squeaking of a field mouse. “I haven’t weighed myself in a while.”
“No fuckin’ shit,” your boyfriend murmured.
Tears were welling up in your depressed orbs, and Taehyung thought you were gorgeous. He embraced you, holding you firmly to his chest. Time to swoop in with that validation before the sobbing began. He hated it when you cried like a little bitch. He couldn’t deny the rush of power it gave him, though.
“Hey, you know that crap doesn’t matter to me,” he muttered, brushing away your watery streams with rough fingers. “Love your ass no matter what.” But he had to top it off with an insult, of course. “Would be nice if your tits were bigger though. Remember my ex? She had some fucking knockers.”
Couldn’t have you getting a big head when he had you where he wanted you.
Masterlist
Yandere masterlist
@mwitsmejk
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ray-ray-writings · 4 years
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Faking Happy-Platonic!Awesamdude
#105 from this prompt list! Check out my masterlist here!
This is a platonic!awesamdude x gn!reader in the dreamsmp! Reader is also Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy’s sibling, although that isn’t really hit on a lot. 
Trigger Warnings: Depressive behavior such as overeating, overeating unhealthy foods.
The bottle Y/N has been filling with their emotions finally tips over and overflows. 
Y/N’s POV
I let out a sniff as I wiped at my nose. I don’t know what is wrong with me recently. It just felt like everything had gone to shit. Tommy had been exiled. Techno moved super far away. Wilbur is dead and Ghostbur remembers basically nothing. And worst of allI haven’t been able to see my best friend for a long time. Sam had been my best friend for as long as I can remember. 
We met when I was attempting to add some flare to my house with redstone and nothing I was doing was working. I asked around and many pointed me in the direction of Sam. He helped me out a lot, and by that I mean he did it all. Finishing the project did not stop him from coming over almost everyday and from then on one was rarely seen without the other. 
But a few days after Tommy’s exile, Dream came to Sam with a stack of diamond blocks. Dream asked Sam to build him a prison. But not just any type of prison. An inescapable prison. One where if someone were to be put in there, they wouldn’t be able to escape. It took days of planning but Sam finally got the blue prints and then he went to work. 
Every once in a while I would pop by and visit him. He would show me what he was doing and tell me all about it. But the more I visited, the shorter the tours and explanations got until finally all I got was a simple wave. I haven’t been back to the construction site since that day. 
My chest felt so heavy. I missed my best friend with everything I had. But I couldn’t let others see that. Anytime I went out. I plastered a fake smile on my face. I gave everyone cheerful smiles and waves as I passed through. I made time to stop and chat with Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and Ranboo. Always being sure to fake laugh at their jokes and waving off their worries and concerns. I would pop into Niki’s bakery, buying all the sweets that I could so I could binge eat them when I’m feeling lonely. Niki would always give me a supportive smile whenever I bought my weight in sweets but would never question me, something I would forever be grateful for. Life had just not been kind to me. 
A knock on my front door startled me out of my crying pity party. I quickly rubbed the tears from my eyes and took some deep breaths, trying to calm myself enough so that it looked like I hadn’t been crying my eyes out. The knock sounded once more, this time more demanding. “Coming!” I managed to croak out. I stood from my couch and quickly made my way to the door. With my hand on the handle I took one more deep breath before plastering the biggest smile I could muster on my face. I swung the door open and gasped in surprise. 
“Sam! What are you doing here?!” I exclaimed in surprise. Sam querked an eyebrow at the question, “What do you mean? Do I have to have a reason to come and see my best friend?” The tall man questioned. “No, no, no!” I rushed, moving out of the doorway to let him in, “It’s just I thought you were too busy with the prison to come visit me” I admitted, tucking hair behind my ear. Sam’s face slightly fell at my confession. He cleared his throat as he entered my home, “I’m never too busy to see you.” He stated walking further into my home. I let out a tiny scoff as I shut the door. “We both know that’s not true.” I muttered under my breath. 
I found Sam in my kitchen, staring at the slight mess of baked goods. “So, how’ve you been?” Sam questioned, brushing a cupcake wrapper out of his way. “Oh, I’ve been good… Yeah good.” I lied through my teeth. “How have you been?” Sam silently stared at me. “Y/N?” He asked, not answering my question. “Yeah?” I responded, not looking at him. “Are you lying to me?” Damn it. Sam had always been able to tell when I wasn’t telling him the truth. I was hoping that maybe that being away from him for so long, his ability would lessen. 
“What? No! Why would you think that?!” I claimed incredulously, slightly glancing at him, hoping to throw him off. “You are! You are lying to me! You haven’t been good have you?” He pressed harder. I swallowed harshly, my mouth felt dry. “I’m not lying. I’ve been good! I’m happy! See!” I exclaimed, looking at him and giving him a big fake grin, “Now tell me how you’ve been, how’s the prison going?” I questioned, trying desperately to get the topic off of me. “Prison’s fine. Now tell me how you’ve really been. Why haven’t you been happy?” I couldn’t help but scoff and roll my eyes, “Sam, I told you I’m fine! I’m happy. I’ve been happy. Now will you please just lay off and leave me alone about it?” I snapped harshly, maybe too harshly. 
Sam’s eyes widened at my tone. His face screamed hurt which made my stomach twist in guilt. “Sam,” I began gently, trying to move forward but he recoiled. “You know what? I’ve got to go,” He stated plainly. Sam moved out of my kitchen and back toward the front door. “Sam!” I pleaded, trying to get him to stay for a moment. He wasn’t listening. “I’ve got to go back to work at the prison. Dream needs it done soon.” He claimed, throwing open my front door and taking a few steps out. I followed him and was met with cold water hitting my face. It was raining… perfect. “Sam, please listen to me. Let me explain,” I begged the man I called my best friend. Sam pulled out his enchanted trident from his inventory. I knew he was about to fly away. “You know Y/N,” Sam stated, pausing after taking his trident out, “You’re my best friend. I want nothing more in this world for you to be happy. “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.” “Sam” I choked out, silently praying that he would turn around and hear me out. My prayers weren’t answered. “Goodbye Y/N” And with a flash of lighting, he was gone. 
My legs gave out from beneath me. For once, I allowed myself to break down outside the comfort of my home. I sat there outside of my front door, sobbing in the rain. I didn’t care who saw me at this point. I had lost my best friend. “Y/N?” I heard a sweet voice call. I didn’t register them in front of me. They helped me stand up and go back inside of my house. They closed the door and helped me sit down on the floor in front of my door. I don’t know how long I sobbed in their chest. But they held me and stroked my hair. 
When the tears vacated my eyes, I was able to see that the sweet voice had belonged to none other than Niki. When our eyes met, she gave me a soft smile. “I knew something was going on with you, but I never wanted to over step. You want to talk about it?” She questioned softly. I mentally debated with myself before deciding that yes, I did want to talk about it. And so I told Niki everything. She patiently listened and nodded along to show she was listening and interested. And when I was done, she sat for a moment to digest everything. 
“You need to talk to him,” She declared after a moment, “He’s your best friend and he deserves to know how you feel. Especially if you’re feeling like this.” I let out a sigh and nodded. “You’re right. But after today, I’m not sure he would want to see me.” “Your best friend as much as he is yours. I’m sure he would love to see you.” Silence settled between us for a brief moment. “Okay,” I claimed slowly standing up. “I’m going to go see him… and I’m going to take a pumpkin pie.” Niki let out a giggle as she stood up as well. “Oh I’m sure he’ll love that.” We both laughed at that. Sam had always been a sucker for Niki’s pumpkin pie. 
I thanked Niki profusely for helping me and listening to me. She assured me that it was no problem and then she left. I quickly packed for the small journey to the prison, making sure not to forget the pie and then I set out. It didn’t take me too long to get there, the many times I had made this trek before really came in handy. The walk was now basically muscle memory, I could do it with my eyes closed. Which was good considering my eyes were really puffy from crying. 
I let out a deep breath as the prison came into view. I noticed that the outside was a lot more finished than when I was here last, but I could tell there was still work to be done. I quickly made my way to the entrance and stopped in the doorway. My eyes scanned around and didn’t see him. My shoulders deflated in defeat, maybe he already left for the day and I missed him. 
“Y/N?” A voice called from behind me causing me to jump. I whipped around and came face to face with the man I was looking for. “Hey,” I greeted sheepishly, taking a small step forward. “What are you doing here?” He questioned, a stony expression set on his face. “I… Uhh. I came to apologize and explain.” I confessed. His hard expression fell from his face. “Go on…” I took a deep breath before nodding. And so I let everything spill out of me. I told him all about how I felt like I had lost all of my brothers. I literally lost Wilbur and the other two are so far away, I might as well have lost them too. On top of that, I told him how not seeing him had affected me and my mental health. How I had been faking being happy because I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone. I admitted to him my unhealthy habits of buying as much as I could from Niki’s and then binge eating instead of facing my feelings. And finally I told him that seeing him today and him calling me out just caused everything to break in me. 
“I am really really sorry for what I said to you Sam. I didn’t mean it. I don’t want you to lay off. I don’t want you to leave me alone. I always want you to bother me and check up on me and talk to me. You’re my best friend and I love you.” I finished, a single tear falling down my cheek. Sam didn’t hesitate, he rushed forward and wrapped me up in his arms and held me close to his chest. He brought his head down and rested his chin on the top of my head as we hugged. “Thank you for apologizing,” He murmured, “I love you too. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you were hurting sooner. I promise that I will bother you everyday if need be. I never want you feeling like that again.” “I’ll hold you to that promise. If it means I get to go back to seeing you everyday, count me in.” I stated with a grin, tilting my head to look into his eyes. I felt Sam’s chest rumble as he chuckled at my statement but said nothing else.
After a few more moments of hugging, I suddenly remembered my surprise for him. “Oh!” I gasped, unwrapping myself from my best friend’s hold, “I brought you something!” I carefully pulled the pie out of my backpack and presented it to Sam. “Tada!” I exclaimed, extending the pie to my bestie. Sam let out a gasp as he accepted the gift. “A Pumpkin pie? From Niki’s?? Oh you’re actually the best!” Sam exclaimed, grabbing the spoon I had brought him as well and immediately began digging in. I let out a laugh as he shoved the pumpkin dessert in his mouth. “What?” He questioned, his mouth full. I shook my head as I giggled, “Nothing. Nothing at all.” 
There you go! I hope you guys enjoyed it! If you did, please be sure to leave a like!
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missdawnandherdusk · 4 years
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like the atlantic
Sirius X Reader (marauder’s era) 
Summary: You didn’t like Sirius Black. You couldn’t. He was rash and a flirt and nothing but trouble. And yet... there you were falling hard. It made you want to punch him it was so aggravating. 
A/n: Hi, welcome to me falling more in love with Sirius Black than before. And now you all get to join me. I’m done with my school work for the semester and I get to spend the weekend at Disney so I’m contented. Look out for new writing  from some new characters!! I need to heal a bit more from my breakup before I can face writing for Draco. Let me know what you guys think of Sirius though!!!
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“No, you don’t understand! I can’t like Sirius Black! I just can’t!” Pacing the common room floor, Lily watched me clearly amused.
“And why not?” She countered.
“Because!” I exasperated. “Because he’s trouble! He’s nothing but trouble and has no regard for the rules and...” I groaned.
“And?” Lily pressed.
“And yet every time he tries to talk to me, I can’t get a word out,” I sighed in defeat, flopping onto the couch beside her. “What am I supposed to do?”
“You know it’s okay to like him, right?”
“How can I like him when all I want to do is punch him in the face?”
“Who are we punching?” His voice chimed in as the four marauders made their way into the common room.
“You don’t want to know,” I muttered.
“Oh, come on I could be down for punch someone in the face,” Sirius grinned. “Who upset you?”
“You really wanna know?” I stood, crossing my arms.
“I’d love to see your sweet little self throw a punch,” he smirked. “If you can,” It was the challenge that threw me over the edge.
So, I hit him square in the nose and as he was going to cradle his face I grabbed his tie and pressed my lips to his before storming out of the common room and into the halls of Hogwarts leaving the chaos behind me.
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“What the hell was that about?” James demanded of Lily, checking on his friend. 
“He did challenge her,” Lily pointed out.
“But why?” Sirius groaned, the healing spell that Remus had cast taking effect. “And why the bloody hell did she kiss me?”
“Give you a couple guesses,” Lily drawled.
“Wait—she... she... and...me?” Sirius sputtered. “Me!?”
Lily nodded once.
“But she can’t! She doesn’t like me! She hates me!” Sirius shouted.
“Yeah, she doesn’t get it either,” Lily muttered.
“Shit, I need to talk to her,” Sirius realized. “Do you know where she is?”
“I have a good idea of where she would have run off to, but she’d kill me if I gave that up,” Lily replied.
“Evans, please,” his voice was soft and begging. “I need to talk to her,”
Lily deliberated for a moment then sighed. “Astronomy Tower,”
————————————
“Hey,” his voice was soft as he came up behind me. I knew it couldn’t have been long before he found me, or Lily told him my hideout.
I didn’t respond.
“Lily told me you’d be here,” he tried again.
I still didn’t reply.
Sighing he sat next to me, looking up at the stars with me.
“You know you could at least apologize for punching me,” a smirk quirked on his lips.
I gave him a sad, hopeless look and his smile dropped.
“You can say something,” he began to fidget. “I have no idea what you’re thinking right now, and I’d really like to. You’re in your head a lot, ya know that?” He didn’t say it as if it were a bad thing, but rather that he noticed my behavior.
A hint of a smile played at my lips.
“Hey, there she is,” Sirius nudged my shoulder, and his blue eyes gripped my heart once again.
I stood and paced away from him trying to break the spell. It felt wrong, him comforting me like this, talking to me like this.
“Hey,” he called chasing after me. “Was it something I said? I’m sorry, I’m just trying to figure you out and I can’t. I thought all these years you couldn’t stand me and then you go and kiss me and leave a guy really confused,”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to face him. “I just want an answer Y/n,”
My eyes dropped to the floor and I opened my mouth to speak. It took a few moments before I found the right words.
“You annoy me to no end. You have no regard for the rules or authority. You’re always late and always a mess. You do the absolute minimum to get by when you could do more. You’re loud and obnoxious and your pranks really aren’t that funny. And yet every girl chases after you and you’re a terrible flirt with all of them!”
“Wow shoot a guy down why don’t you,” Sirius mumbled.
“But...” I sighed, finally looking at him, watching the hope spark in his eyes.
“But” I started again. “You’re also very sweet. And protective of your friends. You look out for the little guy and you don’t give up no matter the odds. You never use your blood status to your advantage and you’re still kind to your brother even though he’s not in the same house as you,” I took a breath in. “And every time I see those blue eyes, I can’t form a coherent though around you, and maybe I get why they chase you...”
“Yeah?” A smug grin tugged at his lips as he took a step closer to me.
“Maybe I’m getting used to them though,” I breathed out, my heart pattering.
“Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow at me.
I nodded. “So, there. That’s why I punched you then kissed you,” I tried to keep my voice even with minimal success.
“I see,” He was so close now. I could feel his warmth.
Nodding, my eyes cast to the ground, anywhere but the pools of gorgeous blue.
“Well, there’s one flaw in your little spiel here,” He cocked his head back, drawing my attention, my brow furrowing. “You haven’t asked me how I feel about you,”
“Oh you motherf—” My usual anger by his antics flared. 
“Ah ah,” he smirked. “It’s my turn,”
I flinched as his hand came up, the briefest fear that he might retaliate to my assault on him earlier. But that’s wasn’t Sirius was it?
My debate was all for naught however because he stroked my cheek gently, cupping my face before drawing me in for a kiss that was soft and slow. Nothing like I knew him to be and yet everything he was. My lips molded against his, my hands reaching up to rest on his shoulders. I noticed him flinch this time.
Pulling away softly, I frowned at myself.
“I’m really sorry,” I whispered, stroking his cheek softly. “I should have thought punching you through a bit more,” Though I wasn’t a close friend of his, I knew what Lily told me which she learned from James.
“It’s fine,” He muttered in a tone letting me know he was hiding how he felt.
“Sirius,” I chided softly. His blue eyes met mine. “I’m truly sorry,” my words were earnest as he blinked away tears.
He pulled away from me, going over to the nearest window and leaning against the rail, brooding. I pursed my lips and went over to him slowly, standing beside him. I didn’t touch him, but I leaned against the railing beside him. We watched the stars together for a bit. Out of the corner of my eye I could see tear tracks on his cheeks.
I held out my hand to him, a peace offering. He could choose to take it or to leave it. Thankfully I felt the warmth and coarseness of his hand in mine.
“I thought I’d have at least a few months with you before I had to bring this up,” he sounded defeated. “Just a few happy months before I ruined it,”
“You haven’t ruined anything Sirius,” I encouraged softly.
“I have though!” His hand tore from mine as he paced away. “Whatever you think you know about me; you don’t know me! The real me! And all the fucked-up shit that comes with it!”
“Sirius,” I tried.
“No,” he growled. “Don’t. Don’t come at me with pity in your voice. I don’t need it. Not from you. Not from anyone.” With his back to me I watched his shoulders rise and fall with the effort it took him to draw I another breath.
“Hey,” I called softly. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it with me. That’s alright. I won’t hold it against you for any reason.” I walked over to him and slowly intertwined my fingers with his. “But don’t close yourself off from everyone. Not James, or Remus. If you don’t want to talk to me, at least talk to them,”
His anger seemed to fizzle out, his defenses lowered. He seemed to realize I wasn’t about to shout at him for shutting me out.
“I do,” he admitted. “They know,”
I nodded and pressed against his back, resting my chin on his shoulder. 
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I didn’t mean to snap at you like that,” 
“And I didn’t mean to scare you,” I smiled a bit.
“You’re incredible, you know that?” His lips quirked up.
He gathered me into his arms, holding me tight. I pressed my face into his shoulder, the cotton of his shirt pressed against my cheek. It smelled like him and held his warmth, and it was something I wouldn’t trade. And we held another until the world felt a little bit better and a few more pieces fell into place.
“So,” I prompted softly, drawing back.
“So?” His eyebrow rose in question.
“Are we... is this...?”
“Do you want it to be?” He sounded as unsure as I was.
I opened my mouth to speak but ended up nodding as he drew me back into his arms.
“I can’t promise you it’ll always be happy, or safe. And that I won’t frustrate you,” He for out quickly. “But I can promise you I can try to be who you deserve,”
“Sirius, it wouldn’t be you if you didn’t frustrate me.” I pointed out. “And I just want you to be you, that’s who I fell for,” Pulling back, a smirk played at my lips. “And you never did tell me how you felt about me,” I raised my eyebrows in question.
“I... oh... uh,” He stammered, his cheeks flushing a soft pink in the moonlight. “I... you’re... you’re so smart, and gorgeous, and confident and of course I’ve noticed you for the longest time, but I was so sure that you hated me that I buried any notion that I might like you,” His words were fast and nervous, but I picked up on them all.
“And now that you know I don’t exactly hate you?” I prompted, teasing him slightly.
“I... Godric you’re actually going to make me say it aren’t you?” He dismayed, causing me to laugh. He began to pace and ramble. “You’re devious, you know that?” He narrowed his eyes at me as he blushed deeper, his blue eyes casting to the ground. “I like you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, you little she-devil? I can’t think straight when you look at me or talk to me and I probably annoy the guys more than I should when I mention you, and they’ve been teasing me about it for the longest time, and I’m pretty sure I’m worse than James is about Lily! But I mean—just look at you! How am I not supposed to—”
“Sirius!” I laughed, catching his hand. “I just wanted to know that you liked me too, I didn’t need a monologue about how apparently wonderful you think I am,”
“It’s not like I do this kinda thing!” He protested, clearly distressed. It caught my attention. 
“You... you’ve never?” My brow furrowed. “But all those girls... I would have thought...”
He simply shook his head, not daring to look at me. My perspective of him changed a bit more as a smile touched my lips at his innocence.
“Hey,” I drew his attention. “Thank you,” A blush warmed my face. “You really are sweet,” His blush mirrored mine.
“Only for you,” His debonair smile was back. I rolled my eyes on principle. “Why don’t we get out of here?” He offered his hand.
I nodded, taking his hand, letting him lead me through the castle. We were in no rush, though we were avoiding the prefects and Filch—a relatively new caretaker who started in our second year. Yet, instead of turning down the hall and heading to the staircases to the doors, Sirius pulled me somewhere new.
“Sirius!” I whisper scolded. “We need to go back,”
“Oh, come on,” He challenged. “Do something rebellious for once in your life,” 
“I like you, don’t I?” I retorted. “Isn’t that enough?”
“That’s just the beginning sweetheart,” He grinned, pausing. “Here, look,”
It was the courtyard. Not the main one that was busy with students through the day, but a secluded one near the greenhouses. I had forgotten that I was ruffled with Sirius’ detour when I saw the courtyard. Bathed in the moonlight, the silver light fluttered onto the leaves of old birch trees, making the entire tree shine.
“Sirius... it’s...” I let go of his hand and took a step into the small yard, longing to reach out to the effervescent tree. “How did you even know this was here?” I turned back to him and my voice got caught in my throat.
If I thought the tree was stunning in the moonlight, it was nothing compared to the way the silvery beams reflected off of the blue of his eyes. He looked ethereal standing there, the stark contrast of his raven hair carving out his features that played with perfect highlights and shadows.
"You’re not the only one with a hiding spot,” He closed the distance between us and took my hands. “Now you know mine and I know yours,” Smiling, I nodded, my eyes not leaving his gaze, transfixed on the shimmering gossamer that they held.
Entranced in the moment, my heart sunk when I heard a third voice interrupt out haven of silver radiance.
“Who is that! What are you two doing out of bed!?”
Dread settled in my eyes as Sirius’ eyes lit up. “Run,” He grinned and took off, my hand in his, knowing that I would have no choice but to keep up with him.
I had no idea where we were going, and really had to trust Sirius to lead me to safety. He ducked into an empty classroom, signaling for me to be very quiet. Neither of us could help the wicked grins on our faces, however.
After we has heard Filch’s steps pass and wander off, Sirius motioned for me to wait while he checked the hall. Beckoning me forward, we crept into the hall and slunk back to the safety of the Common Room where we finally were able to catch our breaths and burst out laughing.
“My God!” I laughed. “You are so dead, Sirius!” I half threatened.
“What did I do!?” Fake hurt flitted across his face dramatically. “You’re the one who was so distracting that I forgot to keep watch!”
“Oh, so it’s my fault!?” I giggled.
“It is, you’re too distracting. I can’t think straight,” He grinned. 
“Are... are they arguing?” I heard James ask.
“I think they’re flirting...” Remus replied.
Sirius raised an eyebrow at me as if to ask if I was ready for this. I told him with a look we’d never be ready for what was in store for us. We both faced our friends, hand in hand, shadowing each other. Lily was grinning at us, as was Remus, and James looked permanently confused.
“I think James is still a bit lost,” I muttered to Sirius.
“He was always the slow one,” Sirius sighed teasingly. “What do you saw we clear things up?”
“And what exactly are you asking Mr. Black?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Oh, I’m sure you know,” He smirked, tugging me closer, his hands at my waist.
“Do I?” I mused.
“I think so,” His nose nuzzled against mine as out lips pressed together briefly, hovering millimeters apart, before meeting again nonchalantly.
I tuned out our friends shouting in victory.
After all, there was nothing more distracting than Sirius’ crystal blue eyes.
.
masterlist
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more like this:
family feud
ten things i hate about you
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the-night-writer1 · 3 years
Note
You mentioned an idea where Red was forced to break up with MK, not knowing he was expecting, so...
I got you angst time baby)
" I'm sorry but I must break up with you it is ill fitting of me to date a mortal" Red said as he looked away from his sweet noodle boy. He was doing this for Mk's own protection. His parents kill Mk other wise. Though it broke his heart he had to walk away as he heard Mk start to cry. Mk didn't beg him to stay, they both knew it was useless to try. He felt his own tears as roll down his face as soon as he was out of view.
Mk just stood there crying and gripping his stomach what was he going to do now. Should he have told Red? No no he couldn't do it now, Red was gone and never coming back. He was alone. He sat down on the curb and pulled out his phone to call someone. He couldn't walk home like this.
"hey- why are you crying" Wukong said, they'd finally convinced him to get a cellphone a few months ago," kid speak to me what's wrong."
"he left me monkey king. He dumped him" Mk said through tears.
"I'm sorry kiddo where you at I'll come get you ok?" Wukong said softly. Mk gave the monkey his location before he hung up. He put his phone in his pocket before sobbing into his hands.
--------
Months had passed since Red son and MK broke up. Red missed his noodle boy deeply as he sat in his lab. He was leaning back in a spin chair. His heart ached for his beloved so much. He pulled out his phone and thought about looking in his feeds. Maybe some new invention ideas could lull him for a bit.
He opened the app and the first thing he saw was one noodle boy's friends doing a Livestream call "baby shower" was one of noodle boy's friends having a baby? Curious, he joined the stream as an anonymous viewer.
"Hey come on smile for the viewers here to support you MK!" Mei said as she pulled him into frame. Red son put his hand over his mouth. Noodle boy was having a baby? Had he moved on that quickly or was it Red son's. Oh for the love of the gods what if it was his.
"Mei I'm tired" Mk mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. He looked tired, like all the energy he had went that bump of his. He still gave a light smile to the camera for a moment before going to sit down out of view. Red read the comments as they popped up in the chat. Some asking about noodle boy's health, some remarking that Red was a bastard, and some cheering his ex lover on for raising a child alone. Red felt tears roll his cheek what had he done? He should have fought for his lover, he should disowned his parents for threatening to kill Mk in the first place. But he didn't, he left, he left Mk because he thought it was for the best. He tossed his phone to the wall and slammed on his desk. Breaking the thing in two. His fiery Red flames turning blue as the door cracked open.
Princess Iron fist had opened the door to check on her son. He refused breakfast and lunch so she was concerned so was her husband though he'd never admit it. Her eyes went wide as she saw Red son in a blinding rage that she'd only ever seen in his father. The blue flames caught her attention quickly, she had a sinking feeling in her gut that this rage was started by her and her husband's actions.
She was scared as her son's head started to turn towards her. She shut the door and made a mad dash towards her husband to warn him about the possible war path their son was about to go on. The door to the lab flew off it hinges and turned to ashes once it hit the wall.
"Darling we have a situation!" The Princess yelled as she slid into the room he'd been reading in. He raised a brow in confusion at her panic.
"What kind of a situation?" The Demon Bull king ask as he looked at his wife in confusion.
"Our son's very very suddenly livid. His flames have even changed color."
"so he's throwing a tantrum? I don't see why that be an issue. I've been able subdue him before"
"darling his flames are pure blue. Not traces of blue, pure blue" Princess clarified before they heard him outside," we are consequences of our actions. I don't know which ones but we will be lucky if he misses"
What was worse was they were cornered. This room had one entrance. Red son stood in the door way glaring at them in a rage.
----
The baby shower had end an hour so ago and Mk laid in bed. He rubbed his belly gently before hearing a knock at his door. He slowly got up and answered it. There stood a brutally beaten Princess Iron fist, she had burns and looked remorseful.
"we apologize for making Red son break up with you. We have learned our lesson and our behavior was unjustified" The princess said as she bowed to him. Mk raised a brow, Red had been forced to leave him? What the fuck happened to his parents to make his mother come and apologize," my husband would be here to also apologize but his burns are worse than mine. Please forgive us or at least our son for what we forced him to do."
" did..did he attack you both?" Mk asked somewhat concerned as she stood up. She'd noticed his bump as soon as he'd opened the door. The child most have been what broke the camel's back and caused her son to lash out.
"we deserved it. To be honest we haven't been treating him well since my husband's return. He was bound to lash out at some point."
"Yeah clearly" Mk said as he crossed his arms," has he calmed down at all?"
"not really. That's the other reason I came. I thought if he saw you he'd possibly calm down." Princess said as she rubbed her shoulder. She waited for Mk's response. Mk went to get his shoes and then came back.
"is your wind thing safe for" Mk asked gesturing to his stomach.
"yes definitely"
----
Red son was punching a wall repeated as his father hid in the room behind it. He grinded his teeth together with each punch.
"Red" a voice called out from behind him. He turned his head towards the voice before any rage he had disappeared. It was his noodle boy, his sweet noodle boy. Red ran over and hugged him tightly though careful not to crush their growing baby. Mk hugged him back.
"your mom explained everything." Mk said as he rubbed Red's back as Red buried his face in Mk's shoulder"you want to come home? "
"yes I'd like to go home" Red said as he wiped the tears in Mk's eyes.
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multific · 4 years
Text
To Be Free
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The Elder x Reader
Requested by:  ateliefloresdaprimavera
Summary: John was the closest thing you ever had for a friend. Even if you wouldn’t really call it a friendship, it still felt like that. And so, when John left to be with Helen, you felt like you were alone again. Your only living relative was your father who you never met. After finding out your real father’s identity, you couldn't take it any longer, you had enough, you needed out, you wanted to be free.
You were a fierce assassin. No doubt about that.
Rumor was that you defeated even John Wick himself, but of course, everyone thought that to be just a myth. 
Only you and John knew the truth of that evening. 
After that you and John formed a sort of friendship. You were first to know about Helen. And you were the first to tell him that he needed to leave. He deserved to have a nice life. 
After that, everything changed. Your whole world was turned upside down when you learned that you were Winston’s daughter. You felt disgusted to be the offspring of a man who didn’t about you at all. And he knew who you were, of course he did. He knew everything, yet he didn’t care. When you got shot, nearly bled to death, he didn’t even bat an eye.
You had enough.
No matter how good you were at your job, you couldn’t handle Winston anymore.
So, to Morocco you went. Hopefully you would be able to get a deal, or a job in exchange for your exit.
But life had other ideas.
As soon as you stepped into the tent, as soon as your eyes met with his, it was over for you.
You have never seen such a man before, handsome, charming, calm and kind. The way he spoke was collected, confident and it was clear, he was the boss.
What you expected was a job to complete, however, instead the Elder decided that you will stay with him and serve by his side.
You hated the idea, you wanted your own life, but you would take anything over the Continental.
***
You stayed in the desert, and if you were honest, you quite enjoyed it. 
You got your own tent, your schedule was great. You had time for yourself, and your tasks weren’t too complicated. 
You felt like this was retirement. Like this was what it felt like to be free. Even if you weren’t truly free, but who ever is?
“Something’s troubling you.” 
Although you were trained to be on high alert, Elder somehow managed to sneak up on you each time.
You jumped a little before turning to him, one hand on your chest.
“Why do you always have to scare me like that?” you weren’t annoyed, but you weren’t happy about the sudden fright either.
“I apologize. I just saw you walk in here, and couldn’t miss the expression on your face.”
He said motioning around the library you were in at the moment. You had a few books picked out that you were interested in. 
“Botanics?” he asked, you let out a sigh, finally your heart calmed down.
“Yes. I used to have a lot of plants and flowers in my apartment. But here... in the desert. The plants are rather limited. I do have like six cactuses, but that’s about it.”
“Hm. Well, I’m not going to bother you. Sorry again, for scaring you.”
“You are not bothering.” you said with a reassuring smile which he returned, your heart skipped a beat, he was just so handsome.
“I will see you later.” he said before he left you with your books.
***
The next few days you haven’t seen much of him. Although you worked very close to him, and you saw him every day, for the last three days it was as if he disappeared. You asked others about it, but they all said he was busy with something, not wanting to sound like you are spying around, you just let it go. 
“Y/N.” your name made you jump. You turned and saw Elder standing there, in the entrance of your tent, smiling at you.
“You got so stop doing that. You’ll give me a heart attack at this rate.” you said.
“I didn’t mean to. Come with me please?” he asked holding his hand out for you. You looked at him, bit suspicious about his behavior. Yet, you ended up taking his hand.
His hand was big in comparison to yours. Your skin felt like silk against his rougher one, but you didn’t mind. For some reason the way his thumb circled the back of your hand felt so nice and relaxing. You wondered if he did that without thinking. But then again, he was a man who always knew what he was doing.
“Where are we going? Are you going to kill me and dump me in the sand?” you asked as you looked at him. You noticed a rather big house with a smaller one next to it. It looked new, yet it wasn’t out of place. This is where he lived.
You heard about his home, others said he lived a bit further from the tents in a house, but you have never seen it.
However the green grass looked like it belonged there.
“This is my home, and I have a present for you.”
He soon opened the small house’s doors to let you in as it turned out it was a green house. Just during the night, you couldn’t recognize that. 
“Is this...for me?”
“Yes, you deserve this. You have helped me so much since you came here. You have everything you will ever need, but if you don’t just ask me.”
“But, why?”
“You are special to me.”
You finally looked at him and noticed his eyes on you.
“You may reject me, even if you do, this will be yours, I’m not that kind of a man. I do admit, you sparked my interest from day one, but if you don’t feel the same towards me, that’s also fine.”
“I-I don’t know what to say.”
“I would love for you to accept my courting and go on a date with me, but please only do it if you feel the same.”
It was a bit much to wrap your head around. But who you were fooling with? The butterflies in your stomach new better as your hand tightened around his and you smiled at him.
“I didn’t know you felt like this.”
“You can say that I am good at hiding them. But I am tired of doing so.” He was about to lean down and kiss you but you put a finger to his lips.
“Let’s go on a date first.” you said as he smiled against your finger.
***
After his long bath, John changed into his new suit, it fit him perfectly.
He knew what his mission was and how to achieve it.
Although he got pain killers for his new wound, the missing finger didn’t hurt any less. 
As John walked around, he noticed two children playing in the shade, a girl, she looked to be about four and a little boy, still a toddler, barely one years old. 
“John?” a woman asked him, he quickly turned to see you standing behind him, before he could react you hugged him.  “I told you that you should’ve left.”
You pulled back and looked at him, noticing his finger.
“I’m sorry about Helen.” you offered him a friendly smile, but his face was of shock and confusion.
“Why are you here?”
“After I found my father, I couldn’t live with that. My father is Winston, John. That backstabbing man, he didn’t even care about me. And he knew who I was, the whole time. So, I needed to leave, and I came here to be free.”
“Are you? Are you free now?”
“Are we ever truly free, John?” you asked.
“Mommy!” came a little voice from behind John. John turned half-way to see the toddler walking rather unstable towards him and you.
“Abbas! I told you to stay in the shade with your sister.” you said as the little boy arrived and you picked him up. You adjusted his little hat. “Abbas meet John, he is an old friend of mommy’s.” the little boy turned his head to John and smiled at him.
“Is he yours?”
“Yes, and the little girl over there too. You can say that I didn’t find my freedom, but I did find peace John, I wish you the same.” you said.
“Papa!” yelled the boy in your arms as you put him down, he rushed to your husband and John’s eyes grew even bigger. You and the Elder? John was shocked and amazed at the same time.
He watched as he spoke Arabic with his son before turning to you to place a kiss on your cheek.
“Good luck on your mission, Johnathan.”
“Good luck, John.” you smiled as the three of you walked to join your daughter.
John was very happy to see that you found your peace. Now, he would have to find his own by finishing his mission.
As he walked away he heard the happy noises of children playing and you laughing.
At least one out of the two of you had a happy ending.
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i was wondering of you would do a request for an s/o of some of the "benchwarmer" characters (like yamaguchi rip D:) where s/o always comes to their games and makes them feel insecure, but they discover that s/o does homework/doesn't pay attention unless they are called to play, and only cheer for them!
hello hello anon!!
im so so so glad that we’re showing some love to our “benchwarmer” characters
this was honestly such a cute idea and I appreciate you being so patient with me
I decided to throw in ennoshita and kyotani because they don't get a lot of time on the court either sooo I hope you don't mind :)
anywhooo I hope you enjoy!!
(btw this definitely isn't my best work sooo I apologize in advance lolz)
•Yamaguchi, Ennoshita, + Kyotani w/ a Supportive S/O•
warnings: none
genre: fluff
characters: yamaguchi, ennoshita, + kyotani
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•Yamaguchi•
yamaguchi always got very nervous whenever you mentioned you were attending one of his games
as a pinch server, he rarely got the opportunity to play and when he did, he never felt like his performance was good enough for you to see 
not to mention you always made it a point to wear his spare jersey to each one of his games which raised his nerves more then he would care to admit 
he really doubted himself on that court and felt like he wasn't good enough for you to be up in those stands representing him not to mention his spare jersey looked really really good on you
it meant the world to him that you supported him but he didn't want to disappoint you
this particular game, coach ukai had promised yamaguchi that he would definitely be put in  
which is why everyone couldn't understand why he seemed so down in the dumps
tanaka was the first one to point out his bad mood,
“Yo! Yamaguchi, what’s up with you dude? You look all pouty.”
hinata decided now would be a good time to add his two cents,
“Yeah! You get to be all swoosh, bam, boom today! You should be excited!”
yamaguchi couldn't lie, he was pretty happy about being guaranteed a few serves this game but he couldn't push away the negativity that clouded his mind.
“Oh, uh, I don't know. I guess its just Y/N is going to be here today and I already know that with all your guy’s amazing plays, my serves won't really matter and I just want them to be proud of me.”
the team stood in silence for a moment
was that really how yamaguchi felt about himself compared to everyone else?
sure, he didn't get to play often but without him they wouldn't have been able to get out of some tricky situations
surprisingly tsukishima was the one to break the silence this time,
“Wow, are you really that much of an idiot yamaguchi?”
a chorus of scolds came from his teammates
yams was about to apologize but tsukki continued his speech,
“Your precious s/o doesn't even pay attention to the rest of us. They only watch the game when they know you’re involved. So, you don't have to worry about us stealing your spotlight. Now, quit being stupid and stretch will you?”
was that really true? did you seriously come to support him and him only?
maybe tsukishima was just saying that to try and get him to forget about what was troubling him but he couldn't concentrate on that right now, he had to get his head in the game for the sake of his team and you ofc
however, curiosity got the best of him, so as his teammates played, he took a peek up at you to find you skimming through a textbook
all this time he felt insecure that you would think he was a bad player compared to the rest of his team mates but now he knew that you didn't even have the opportunity to compare them when you were only focused on his plays
he felt his heart swell with pride as he promised himself he would play with all his strength for you
and sure enough his serves had never been better
your cheers could be heard the loudest throughout the gym and he couldn't miss the large smile on your face as he looked to you in the stands
as soon as the game had concluded, you ran down to the court and threw your arms around him, congratulating him again and again on how well he did
he buried his face into your neck in attempts to hide the blush that was spreading across his cheeks like a wildfire
that day, he went home feeling accomplished, with his own personal cheerleader right by his side
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•Ennoshita•
ennoshita didn't really get many opportunities to step on the court and show his skills
honestly, his lack of playing time made him pretty insecure in his ability to be on the same level as his teammates
he was never very confident and often found himself wondering if he deserved to be on a team with such skillful players
which was why he wasn't always excited when you attended his games
its not as if he didn't love seeing you in those stands, cheering him on, but he hated that there was always a possibility that he could disappoint you
especially since you were always so excited to come and support him
this was all he could think about as he sat stretching on the gym floor with the rest of the team
and his far off expression didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the boys
daichi decided to pull him aside and talk to him about what was on his mind before the game started
after all, he couldn't have such an important asset stuck with his head in the clouds
“Hey Ennoshita, everything okay?”
“Oh, yeah. It’s just Y/N is here and I honestly don’t know if I can play to her expectations.”
daichi understood what was going on with his underclassmen now
he had known that ennoshita was not the most confident when it came to his volleyball skill, but he didn't know that he was this blind to his own talent,
“You know, I don't think Y/N has every really showed any interest in anyone else’s plays other than yours.”
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Maybe you're too focused on what's going on on the court but they’re usually always scrolling through their phone or reading a book unless you get swapped in.”
now that daichi mentioned it, ennoshita never really heard your voice cheering from the stands unless he was on the court and you always seemed pretty oblivious when he talked to you about plays he wasn't involved in
he knew that you supported him with all he did but he was always a bit nervous that you would start to notice how well everyone else played and view his skills differently
discovering you came to his games for him and him only warmed his heart
lucky for you both, ennoshita had been subbed in for most of this game due to daichi getting a minor injury don't worry daichi is fine, don't start planning his funeral yet
you were over the moon that your boyfriend got to spend so much time on the court that day, you always loved watching him play
ennoshita could hear your cheers for him echo throughout the whole gym, causing his confidence to skyrocket
safe to say, you were definitely his lucky charm for that game
even with all the commotion after their win, all ennoshita could focus on was encasing you in a loving hug
after all, he couldn't have done it without you
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•Kyotani•
kyotani didn't get the opportunity to be on the court often
he was a very strong and skilled player but his attitude usually caused him to sit out for many of aoba johsai’s games
this never stopped you from coming to support him though
no matter how much time he spent in the game you would show up and cheer him on
kyotani didn't really understand your reasoning though, he was barely ever put in so what was the point of coming at all
although he was quiet about it, he really loved having you at his games
being able to catch a glimpse of your smile when ever his temper got the best of him on the court was a huge reason he wasn't already kicked off the team 
but he still felt as though he was wasting your time
he couldn't even begin to imagine how disappointed you were with every game you attended
he tried to get you to quit coming to his games but you simply refused, letting him know that if you weren't in attendance, you could miss the opportunity to see his talent shine
as much as it could be a pain in his ass, your enthusiasm was kind of nice
which was the only reason he agreed to let you continue to come to his games
this game in particular, kyotani seemed to be on his best behavior
maybe seeing you in his spare jersey had something to do with it but no one needed to know that kyo bby, everyone knows that, pls stop staring y/n down like an animal
he was determined to stay on the court as long as he possibly could and surprisingly, he got to play almost the whole game
when you had run down from the stands to go congratulate kyotani, the first person you came in contact with was oikawa tooru himself,
“Ah Y/N-chan! I’m so glad you could make it, did you make sure to cheer for me?”
your boyfriend could never stand the way oikawa would flirt with you just to get a rise out of him
“Oi idiot, get away from them.”
you couldn't help but laugh at kyotani’s antics before wrapping him in a hug,
“Hey Kyo, congrats on the win. You did great!”
Oikawa pouted at you for blatantly ignoring him,
“Hey, what about me?”
“No offense Oikawa, but I really only come to these games for Kyo. I mean unless he's playing I don't really pay attention so cheering for you is pretty much out of the question. Anyways, I'll wait for you outside babe.”
both oikawa and kyotani were pretty baffled at your statement 
kyotani was probably the most surprised out of the two, did you really come to his games just to support him
he was pulled out of his thoughts when kindaichi spoke up,
“Now that they mentioned it, I honestly haven't ever seen Y/N look up from their phone unless Mad Dog was on the court, and they only ever cheer for him.”
kyotani almost let a smile slip out at his teammate’s words
he couldn't believe how much you cared about him and supported him
he never knew how you managed to put up with him but he was beyond grateful for it
he loved you more then he would ever let on
on the walk home, you didn't know why kyotani was so much more affectionate then usual, but who were you to complain?
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
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Text
Snap Part 1
Read on Ao3 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Inspired in part by the lovely @random-snippets‘s post here
Warnings: roman angst and everything that goes with it. self-esteem issues, self-hatred, insecurity. sympathetic everyone
Pairings: roceit, platonic DLAMPR
Word Count: 5540
Most things in life are flexible to some degree. You can push and pull and bend them in certain ways and, to some extent, they will comply with you. There are some things that you can bend and bend and bend. Creativity is one of these things. Creativity, imagination, dreams...they can be shaped and changed into whatever you want.
Bend...and bend...and bend...until they snap.
Janus enjoys teasing.
He finds that it often reveals true intentions much better than simply taking someone at their word. Plus, the range of reactions he gets is endlessly amusing.
Patton will stutter and stammer adorably, or he’ll put on his Dad Voice™ and attempt to scold. Logan, depending on what sort of mood he’s in, will sass him back or give him a death glare. Virgil definitely isn’t the type to snipe back, keeping up with Janus blow for blow. Remus is…Remus.
But Roman…Roman is different.
Roman used to be the most fun to tease, puffing himself up in a fit of righteous princely indignation to defend himself, going red in the face only to be set off again moments later. Janus could spend hours just tilting his head this way and that as Roman muttered himself in and out of circles and paradoxes and contradictions. It used to be quite an effective way to shut the prince up, letting him stew in his own thoughts.
It’s still an effective way to silence Roman, but it’s changed.
It started after the wedding.
Roman had shut himself away in his room, much to the chagrin of the others. They expected a temper tantrum, they expected sulking. Logan and Patton were constantly on standby for the minute Thomas would start being affected by it.
They didn’t expect Roman to emerge a few days later and quietly ask to talk to each of them.
He apologized.
A proper apology; for mocking his name, for calling him evil, for dismissing him out of hand. Janus can only guess by the looks of pleasant confusion mirrored on the other Sides’s faces that they received similar apologies.
Janus hadn’t been surprised when Roman extended a nervous offer of having him and Remus come around to their side of the Mindscape more often, saying that they had…valuable insights to offer. He hadn’t been surprised to see Roman extend the olive branch to Remus, only for Remus to promptly snatch it up and hug his brother so tightly Janus winced in sympathy for Roman’s ribs.
Patton, as was to be expected, was overjoyed, throwing his arms around the princely side in what could only be described as euphoria. Logan had been surprised, saying he hadn’t expected Roman’s surprising amount of maturity regarding the issue, including the way Roman had promised to listen to him more often. Virgil had shrugged, saying it was about time Roman started doing that anyway.
He hadn’t thought anything of it, not really. And it had been pleasant, being listened to. Not being treated like a villain.
He should’ve known it wasn’t going to be only a few days for Roman to completely change his black-and-white view of the world.
Roman listened more, that was true, but he didn’t talk as much either. He stood quietly, occasionally asking softly for clarification.
“…L-Logan?”
Logan pauses mid-sentence, glancing over at Roman. Roman sits there, twisting his fingers together.
“Yes?”
“Can you…slow down a little bit?”
Logan blinks. He’d been talking about recent discoveries made in the field of quantum physics, just getting to the part about how SUSY particles could reconcile the different interpretations of the expansions of the universe. Roman had been the only one who volunteered to listen, and he half-expected Roman to dismiss the topic entirely or say he had some important thing to go to. He had not been expecting this.
Roman did not seem to interpret his silence in this way.
“It’s just,” he stammers frantically, “it’s not that I’m not interested, I am, I can assure you, I’m just…I’m having trouble keeping up with you.”
He balls his hands up tightly in his lap, staring at Logan with a frantic sense of urgency.
“It’s okay if you can’t or you don’t want to, y-you’re not boring me, I promise, and I don’t want you to stop, but can you please try and talk a little slower? I don’t…I don’t want to miss anything,” he trails off.
“It’s…it’s quite alright, Roman,” Logan says carefully, “I’m happy to slow down.”
Roman’s face breaks into a relieved smile. “Okay, thank you, I don’t know what’s going on with me today.” He taps the side of his head with a self-deprecating smile. “Not all here, it seems. Sorry, Specs.”
“You needn’t apologize, you haven’t done anything wrong.” Logan adjusts his glasses. “I would be more than happy to slow down. Are you quite sure I’m not boring you?”
“Absolutely not.”
Logan smiles. “…good.”
“C-can I say what I’ve gotten so far,” Roman asks hesitantly, “and then you can correct me where I’m wrong and then jump back in when we get there?”
“Of course.”
Roman had Remus share almost as many ideas as he did, but he didn’t share his own as much either.
“Roman? Do you have anything to add?”
Roman shakes his head, a small smile on his lips as he watches Remus bounce excitedly on the balls of his feet.
“I believe we have a solid idea,” he says, gently elbowing Remus, “and there is nothing I can do to improve it.”
“You know, Ro-Bro,” Remus says, shoving Roman back, “you’ve gotten so much less boring.”
Roman chuckles lightly, picking himself up off the wall. “I’m glad you’re happy.”
“Oh, I am!” Remus claps his hands. “But are you sure we can’t build in the part about—“
“We are not unearthing a roadkill corpse, Remus.”
Roman didn’t puff up when he was teased anymore, but he didn’t defend himself in any other way as much either.
“Could you be more extra,” Virgil sighs, nudging Roman, “really, Princey?”
Roman pauses, before slowly lowering his hands. “I am, aren’t I?”
Virgil’s eyes widen. “Guys! Guys, I got Roman to admit that he’s extra!”
“You did what?” Remus vaults over the couch. “You did it!”
“That is in fact a marvelous breakthrough,” Logan says, drinking his coffee, “especially for Roman.”
“Good to see you’re finally developing some self-awareness, kiddo,” Patton says with a wink, patting Roman on the shoulder.
Janus smirks, shifting in his chair. “Yes, because Roman’s observational skills have always been at the forefront.”
“Alright, alright,” Roman says finally, waving his hand, “I’m extra, I get it.”
It took far too long for them to realize that just because Roman’s behavior had changed, it didn’t mean he wasn’t still struggling with the ramifications of it. It took them far too long to realize that Roman still clung to the ideas of heroes and villains, the roles had just shifted. It took them far too long to realize that the ego, still hiding its black and blue skin, was still living in fear, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It took Janus far too long to realize he wasn’t doing his job.
“Oh, come now, I’m only teasing.”
“And that’s supposed to make everything better, is it?”
Janus pauses, the sharpness in Roman’s voice killing the follow-up in his throat. His eyes don’t widen at how Roman looks at him. For the first time in a long time, Roman’s gaze is filled with fire as he stares at Janus. It gives him pause for a moment. Just a moment. Then his smirk is back.
Good. You were starting to get boring.
“You realize that saying you’re teasing doesn’t make it hurt any less, right?”
“Oh, sweetie, there’s really no need to get so worked up—“
“Don’t pretend that your intention has not been to make me uncomfortable.”
“Then why’re you letting it get to you so?”
“…so if Remus tries to knock me out with his morningstar, I shouldn’t get hurt because it’s his intention to hurt me?”
Janus blinks. This is absolutely the direction he thought Roman was going to go. “That’s not quite the same thing.”
“So I shouldn’t prioritize emotional and mental pain the same way as physical pain?”
“…I didn’t say that—“
“Oh, I’m sorry, is it frustrating to have your words taken out of context and applied in ways you obviously didn’t mean? Wow, I wonder what that feels like.”
Janus’s surprise is hidden quickly as Roman takes a deep breath in. He expects Roman to bite back, to push, to hurl acid-laced insults at him. Given how Roman has been taking most of…this lying down as of late, he expects it, even if he would be a little...disappointed. In some way, he doesn’t deserve it.
That’s exactly what happens.
“…I understand that you care and you help in your own way. And I’m grateful for it, really, I am. You…you make people look at themselves—really look and you make me think and it’s great but it’s exhausting.”
Roman buries his face in his hands, pressing his fingertips hard to his eyes. It doesn’t hurt to see him so…tired.
“I can’t—I can’t do this all the time. I can’t do this most of the time. You know that. As a matter of fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if that were the point.”
“…I do have a point.”
“You always have a point. That’s the problem. You are nothing but points, there’s nothing to you but—“
Roman stops, taking a deep breath and pressing his forehead with a fist.
“No, sorry, that’s…that’s not true. The version of you that you choose to present to me and to the others most of the time is nothing but points. There is no softness. No give. Not an ounce. It’s always a fight. I have to…double and triple check every single thing that comes out of your mouth, and I’m not…I…”
Another deep breath. Something softens.
“I respect you. I admire you. I like you. But I don’t know what you want from me.”
Janus isn’t shocked.
Not just at the fact that Roman is expressing all of this out loud, not just at what Roman is saying, but how the bitter taste slowly filling his mouth isn’t coming from any of it.
Roman isn’t lying. Not about this.
What happened in those days when you shut yourself away?
It takes him a moment to realize Roman is waiting for an answer.
“I don’t want you hurt.”
Roman huffs. No malice behind it, just exhaustion. “You enjoy putting me in situations that actively make me uncomfortable and you have enjoyed hurting me in the past. Try again.”
There’s a moment of silence. Then Roman sighs.
“Look, I don’t think I’m in the right space for this conversation and the last thing I want to do is mess this up any more than I already have, can we…can we do this later?”
He nods slowly, even though it takes him back to hear Roman ask for something. It doesn’t sting a little to know he isn’t the one that’s made it easier for him to do so.
“Thank you, I—you...you know I care about you, right?”
Not many things can take him by surprise, not many things can make him more surprised than this conversation already has, but this…this earnest confession, this does. He nods.
“Good.”
They don’t speak for days. They don’t even see each other for days. Then Roman has an episode.
The others are away, helping Thomas. Roman is alone. He rides the attack to its end but he’s still trying to recover. This one was bad. He needs to get up, he needs to eat, he needs to drink, he needs to but he knows if he stresses out too much about this, he’s just going to send himself into another attack. He’s trying to breathe but it’s hard. It’s so hard.
Janus wasn’t even looking for him. And yet there he is, sprawled on the floor, hunched over, hands trembling as he struggles to breathe. For a moment he worries at how much he can feel that Roman’s afraid. Afraid of Janus. Janus…he hasn’t exactly shown him his…full capabilities.
And, in his defense, really, Roman is so clever, so sweet, so open that he can’t help but play with him, test him, poke at his comfort zone just enough to see him squirm. And Roman is lovely, truly, he is. And yes, part of him was thrilled when Roman finally snapped at him, but he’s right. Janus is…he has not been good to him.
Time to change that.
He approaches slowly, crouching, and offering a hand. The suspicious look that he gets doesn’t hurt his chest. He does blame him. But Roman trusts, he trusts too easily sometimes and this wouldn’t be the first time Janus has ever taken advantage of it. He tries to convey that he won’t break it when Roman takes his hand. He tries not to think about how much of this is Roman going along with it if only to prevent himself from being hurt.
He leads Roman to one of the common spaces on the Dark Sides’ hallway. It’s almost never used anymore, not since the barrier between Light and Dark started breaking down. He looks at Roman to see such an unsure expression that he can’t help the soft noise when he guides him to sit on the couch.
Janus keeps Roman in the corner of his vision as he carefully shrugs off his cloak. He considers draping it over Roman’s shoulders but decides that might be a bit too much. Too much for right now, even as his mouth starts to taste bitter.
What does he want? Roman can’t stop thinking it. He’s three seconds away from another attack, what’s happening, what’s going on, I don’t know what to do—
A gentle hand cups his chin and he distantly thanks whatever higher power there may be that Janus’s gloves aren’t a bad texture. But then he has to make eye contact and oh it’s the worst. He doesn’t know what’s keeping this fragile peace. He knows Janus will see through any mask he tries to put on right now.  
But not wearing a mask…he’s not sure he remembers how to do that.
He tries.
I’m trying, I’m trying so hard, can’t you see? Can’t you see that if you just tell me, I’ll be good? Whatever you want, I can do it, I promise, I’ll be good, I can be good, but I can’t do it if I don’t know what you want and if you tell me I’ll do it, just tell me what you want me to do, I can’t figure it out, I want to be good, but I don’t—I can’t—what do you want?
Janus sees. He sees all of it and it doesn’t break his heart.
He lets Roman go, the ache getting worse when he immediately shuts his eyes. He crouches, waiting.
When Roman opens his eyes again, he tries to offer. What do you want? Let me help, if you want?
Too much, perhaps. So he tries smaller.
Roman’s unsure when he offers his hand again. He…Janus doesn’t like being touched. But would he really be offering if he wasn’t okay with it?
Janus smiles when Roman reaches a trembling hand out. Slowly, carefully, he takes it in two of his, playing with it gently. Running his fingers over the back, tracing the knuckles. Roman’s hand is so much more...worn than the others. There are calluses, scars, so many stories that Janus can’t help exploring, smiling a little when the light touch makes Roman twitch. Even here, Roman’s scared of doing something wrong. His fingers tremble, try and move to match the shapes he makes.
Keeping Roman’s hand in his, Janus stands, tugging in a gentle ask for Roman to come with him. Roman stands up too fast and a second pair of arms shoots out to steady him. He looks so small…smaller still when Janus sits them down on another couch, between his legs.
Stay with me, Roman.
Playing with his hand again gets his attention, the second pair of arms holding Roman close. He waits. Waits to gently tug that hand a little closer. Roman shuffles. His phone tumbles out of his pocket and Janus catches it with his third pair of arms, setting it carefully on the table.
He lays back, all six arms accounted for. Waits.
Is something you want?
Roman looks so apprehensive, reaching out with his other hand. He folds Roman in gently, letting him move at his own pace, easing his weight down on top of Janus like they’re afraid of hurting him. As soon as he’s all the way down, still propping himself up to keep the weight off of Janus, Janus embraces Roman tightly, smiling a little at the way he instantly goes limp, exhaling sharply. Part of him takes a little selfish pleasure at having Roman in his arms; he’s so warm, he’s just the right weight, he fits so perfectly. But he’s still so tense, poor thing…
Just as he did with his hand, he explores gently. He lightly traces up and down Roman’s sides, wiggles his fingers as he runs them along Roman’s spine. Smirks a little when he feels Roman’s muscles tense and shift as he squirms under the gentle attention. Sweet little thing is ticklish too, hmm?
Like Roman, he doesn’t want to risk breaking this moment with too much noise, but he has to really fight the urge to coo and fuss when he starts scratching his hands through Roman’s hair. Roman whines for him, completely involuntarily, and it’s so small and tired and hopeful and adorable that he can’t help seeing if he can make him do it again. He can.
They have no idea how long they lie there but an alarm on Roman’s phone breaks the silence. Janus barely glances at the label—‘stop and get back to work’—as he shuts it off. He laments its intrusive presence as Roman startles horribly, scrambling up. And he can’t help himself, he catches him.
Roman should get back. He should do so many things but Janus is being so kind and he’s not too warm and Roman has no idea how he’ll react and what if they never get this chance again and he’s holding him so gently and the way he’s looking at him…
Is this something you want?
Janus lets out a soft oof when Roman throws himself at him, wrapping his arms around him so tightly he’s sure it hurts. But it’s the thing he wanted and the thing Roman wants and it’s perfect.
He clings to Roman just as tightly until his own arms ache from it. Still, he holds on, until Roman slumps, burying his warm face into his scales without hesitation. Roman’s breathing stutters, he’s still so scared...so Janus softens, gentles his grip, goes back to the soothing touches from before. Tries to lull Roman back into that half-doze they were in before. It takes a long time, much longer than he’d like. Roman keeps jerking himself awake, his fists clenching and unclenching, unsure where to put his head, where to put his arms.
He breaks finally when his fingers hit a sensitive spot on Roman’s back and Roman gasps, Janus instinctively holding Roman closer and smoothing the hair away from his ear.
“Shh…shh…” One pair of his arms come up to hold Roman’s hands. “Shh… shh…”
I want you to calm down, Roman, that’s all I want right now. Shh…
It takes several minutes of careful shushing to get Roman to relax, several more before his breathing evens out and he dozes, right there in his arms.
They still need to talk. Roman’s carrying so much grief with him that, now that he’s looking, he can see the strain. Roman is so tired, he can feel it. And he desperately wants to know what happened to turn Roman into this frightened creature, constantly bracing for a blow, so confused in the face of any affection. But for now…
He’s self-preservation, protection when protection is needed most. Of course he can be caring.
He leaves Roman in Patton’s care, giving them the space they need to make sure he doesn’t push. Not now, perhaps not ever. He receives a gentle thank-you when they happen to pass in the corridor. And it’s…good. There’s a sweet aftertaste in his mouth when he talks for a few days.
A few days later, his mouth tastes horribly bitter again and he knows it’s time. He appears to see Roman sitting ramrod straight, staring at the wall.
“…well, you certainly look as calm as can be.”
“Oh. Hi, Janus.”
“Hello. What seems to be troubling you?”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry. I’m alright.”
The lie tastes sour. “May I join you?”
Roman nods.
“Thank you.”
“Did you need something?”
“Are you…in a proper enough headspace to have that conversation?”
“…yes. Yeah, I think so.”
He can’t quite taste another lie. This is probably what Virgil means when he says it’s important to trust people about their own boundaries.
“I have a proposition for you. I would like you to hear me out before commenting.”
“Of course.”
“…you lie quite often.” Roman nods. “You are not of the opinion that lying is inherently wrong.”
Roman shakes his head nervously.
“You use lying as a defense mechanism to protect yourself, don’t you?”
A new wave of bitterness.
“…do not be afraid,” he says quietly, “it’s quite common.”
Roman’s brow furrows a little.
“Your first response to any question that causes a heightened emotional response is usually a lie,” he explains, “because your instinct to protect yourself kicks in and forces you to say what you think the asker wants to hear.”
Roman’s mouth tightens.
“It also coincides with the need to make yourself as small as possible. If you…do not require many things, or if you do not actively contribute to things that require any extra effort, odds are you will not be hurt.” Janus tilts his head. “I believe Virgil calls it ‘being low maintenance.’”
Roman huffs a laugh and looks away.
“Does that sound about right?”
“…mhm.”
Janus fiddles with the cuffs of his jacket almost absentmindedly. Roman has developed a…particular style of dishonesty that intrigues him.
Roman is very open about vulnerable topics; speaking freely and without hesitation about how he feels about his looks, his mannerisms, his sexuality, pretty much every aspect of themselves that the Sides can think to ask about. But that’s not the same as actually being vulnerable. It’s hiding behind too much honesty, taking advantage of the fact that others don’t tend to talk about those types of topics in that much detail to let them mistake it for actual vulnerability. But it’s not. It’s just a different type of hiding.
It’s not a lie. Not even a lie of omission. Which means it’s harder for Janus to detect. Even harder for the others. So it’s easier for them to believe Roman is more honest than they are. Which let him get away with lying, let him get away with sacrificing his own needs, let him get away with hurting himself.
The pitch is the easiest part, Janus decides. Definitely.
“Virgil and I have an arrangement of sorts,” he opens with finally. “Logan helped us figure it out. If…one of us receives an answer they believe is untruthful, a second chance is offered.”
“A…what?”
“If I ask Virgil a question, or if Virgil asks me a question, and we don’t believe the answer we receive to be true, we say: ‘second chance.’ Then we have another chance to answer. There are never any consequences for lying, or choosing to take the second chance.”
“…so…”
“So if I were to ask you what’s troubling you—“
“It’s fine,” Roman says quickly, “really, it is.”
Janus gives him a small, sad smile. No, no it isn’t, but this will serve as a good point.
“Second chance?”
Roman’s mask slips. It’s a good mask. Right up there with Patton, and Logan, if he’s being evaluative. Perhaps even up there with his own. But it’s cracking.
“You know it’s unwise to try and lie to me, dear,” he pushes.
Ah. Too much. Fear swells up behind Roman’s eyes and he stammers.
“…I…”
“If you do not wish to tell me,” he soothes, “I will not force you too.”
“Then I would rather not say,” Roman says carefully, each word laid down for Janus’s inspection.
“And there are no consequences.”
The wave of pure relief that washes over Roman is enough to make Janus smile properly. There’s a horrible moment where he looks like he doesn’t believe it, he’s waiting for the punchline, but then it doesn’t come and Roman just slumps, a massive weight rolling off his shoulders. Janus can’t help but watch the corner of his mouth tick up higher and higher as he realizes it’s okay.
“Well, judging by that expression,” he says, “this certainly will be awful for you.”
Another thing about Roman is that for some reason, probably tied to his connection to the Imagination, is that he has this…field around him. Janus is sure Logan’s not interested in it at all and they haven’t spend hours upon hours talking about it. But he can feel the wave of care and love and relief that hits him, making his heart ache pleasantly in his chest.
It’s gone far too quickly and Janus isn’t saddened by it, his brow furrowing when Roman fidgets with his hands, obviously trying to work up the nerve to ask something.
“…why…when you said this was common,” he says eventually, “what did you mean?”
Ah. This won’t be difficult at all.
“The…sophistication of your coping mechanism indicates that it has been developed over a long period of time,” he starts.
“…okay?”
“Not uncommon in victims of abuse.”
“What…what are you talking about,” Roman stammers, obviously trying to laugh it off, “I—I haven’t been abused.”
Oh.
Oh, that’s…oh, Roman…
“We have ridiculed you for expressing vulnerability,” Janus murmurs, “we have ignored you when you express deep feelings. Sometimes, when you attempt to speak about them, we tell you that your feelings are not worthy of your reaction, or we are indifferent.”
Janus shifts, letting his regret bleed into his voice as he continues.
“We have manipulated you to get what we want. We have used shame to make you feel bad.” Janus clenches his fists in his lap. “We have led you to believe things are your fault when they aren’t. We have pushed you to question your sanity.”
There’s an awful silence.
“We’ve been gaslighting you, Roman,” Janus murmurs, “and worse. Tell me, what does that sound like to you?”
Any semblance of relief from earlier vanishes, replaced by denial, worry, panic, and so much anxiety for a moment Janus worries Virgil’s going to be summoned.
Then his mouth fills with an acrid taste, coating his tongue so much it almost chokes him.
“…I’m sure you know that I’m summoned by continuous lying.” Why I appeared in the first place.
Poor Roman barely hears him enough to nod.
“I know what the lies are when I hear them.”
Another nod.
“Which means,” he murmurs, reaching out and gently touching Roman’s temple with two fingers, “…I can hear these.”
Roman freezes.
“There. That.” Janus’s eyes widen. “Oh, oh no, sweetie, I’m not here to be cruel to you.”
Roman doesn’t hear him.
“Breathe, honey, come on…in for four, hold for seven, out for eight.”
Roman’s not breathing at all. Janus leans forward to try and help when Roman’s mouth opens, his voice sharp and determined.
“When people lie,” he says, “does it hurt you?”
“What?”
“Does it hurt you?”
He knows what Roman’s asking and he adores it, of course he does. He adores that Roman’s so worried about hurting him, not himself, Janus, that he’s willing to punish himself by forcing away a defense mechanism that he’s had for years because it might be hurting Janus. He loves it.
“…no. Not a direct correlation,” he says, “no. More often than not, I can tell or sense what the truth would be and…that is not often pleasant. But no, Roman, you are not physically injuring me when you lie.”
“And what about when you’re telling the truth?”
“…sweetie, stop. You’re going to hurt yourself far more that you’re going to hurt me.”
Roman’s face pinches as he looks away, so determined that it looks completely painless. It doesn’t hurt.
“Would you like a hug?”
“N-no, no, I’m fine.” Roman’s hands don’t shake. He doesn’t hunch around himself protectively.
“Second chance?”
“…please?”
“Come here.”
He’s warm, but not warm enough. His aura is relieved, but not relieved enough. He’s still, but not still enough.
The bitter taste in Janus’ mouth isn’t horrendously painful.
“No, sweetie, you’re not being inconvenient.”
You have hidden this so well, so well we never realized how much this hurts you.
“I’m not angry with you for trying to protect yourself.”
I will be the first to admit that I have…not acquitted myself well from the things I have done to you, please let me try now.
“You’re not hurting me.”
Don’t deny yourself comfort, especially when you need it so badly.
“And no, sweetie, I don’t hate being touched as much you think I do.” Janus does find it easy to cry, he does get overwhelmed easily. And yet the lies he can hear right now threaten to make tears spill over. “…must you be so cruel to yourself?”
“…sorry?”
Ah, yes, apologies. That’s a conversation for another time. Janus sighs, running a hand through Roman’s hair. “At any rate, it’s not like you’re nice and warm and much better suited than the others.”
Finally, the bitterness recedes, just a little. Janus swallows, washing away the last vestiges on his tongue, cuddling Roman closer. He looks down, seeing his mouth open and close. Laying a finger gently against his lips, he shushes Roman as he tries to speak.
“Hush, you don’t have to say anything, sweetie. I understand.”
“Okay,” Roman huffs, “I will say the whole…mind-reading thing is not ideal.”
Fair enough. “I am only paying attention right now because you seem to be having some difficulty speaking,” he murmurs, chucking him gently under his chin, “I will not be all the time.”
“Okay.”
“Or you could simply…not lie to yourself.”
“Unrealistic.”
It makes him laugh a little. “Something to work on, no?”
Roman nods, gently head-butting Janus’ hand. He smiles, cupping Roman’s chin, idly tapping his fingers. The smile grows when Roman closes his eyes, tipping his head back so Janus can scritch lightly.
“Perhaps it will help you with these,” Janus murmurs, lightly stroking his fingers over the shadowy bruises just below Roman’s collar, “hmm?”
“…Thomas, huh?”
Janus raises an eyebrow when Thomas summons him. “Well, this is entirely expected.”
“I need your help.”
“Then this can’t be serious at all.”
“It’s about Roman.”
Janus pinches off the rest of his sarcasm. “Tell me.”
“I, uh, I made a…discovery,” Thomas says, “about…things.”
“How remarkably descriptive.”
“You know the phrase ‘bruised ego?’”
Janus stiffens at Thomas’s words. “…I am familiar.”
“…turns out it’s a lot more literal than I thought.”
Oh.
Oh, no.
It’s Janus’s job to protect the ego.
What…what has he done?
“He doesn’t care for you at all, sweetie.”
Roman opens his eyes, peering up at him with poorly disguised hope.
“Neither, for that matter,” he continues, running a thumb over Roman’s jaw, “do the others. Virgil, for one, despises you for being able to make him feel so wonderfully safe.
“Patton thinks the absolute worst of you—“ he pats Roman’s cheek— “and the care that you give so freely to others.
“Remus, well, he of course doesn’t value you at all,” he drawls as he tucks a loose piece of hair behind Roman’s ear, “let alone your willingness to touch and interact with him as he’s so used to that.
“And Logan would definitely prefer it if you were to never be so clever and considerate ever again,” he finishes, stroking his thumb across his forehead.
“I don’t think,” Roman murmurs, “that I’ve ever been so glad to be pretty fluent in sarcasm.”
“Yes, your sarcasm is absolutely awful.”
“Yes, I know, I love you too.”
He expects a familiar bitterness to wash over his tongue. It doesn’t.
Oh.
Oh.
“You don’t have to say it,” Roman mumbles, almost about to doze off in his arms, “you don’t have to say anything. It’s just…it’s there if you want it.”
“I definitely won’t take it,” he says as he presses their foreheads together, “and you definitely can’t fall asleep right here.”
There needs to be another conversation. He needs to know what happened after the wedding. He needs to know how, or perhaps more accurately, why Roman changed in the span of only a few days. He needs to know how Roman got so good at pretending.
He tries not to think about how much worse he’s made it.
…he also would like to know exactly what Roman meant when he said he loved him.
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Chronicles of Galar - Chapter 2 Part 1: Your Past & a “kidnapping” case
I’ll split this chapter into two parts, because this chapter is kinda longish. I apologize for any dumb grammar mistakes, because this was especially hard to translate from my first language. Well, to make a short summary, this is a full-Leon featured chapter and a little fluff :3 Also a little insight about your past in Amila.
You kinda felt bad about lying to your new friends. But after Taiko had speculated almost too much about your feelings for the Galarian champion, you had to make sure that it didn't spark any more rumors.
Because you actually had something else in mind than going back to the hotel. Your brother was actually in Amila, along with President Rose, his assistant, and your father, the retired Professor of the Region of Amila. The reason you'd left the cafe so quickly was because of Leon. He really didn't looked very healthy and even if Raihan tried to talk it down, you were convinced that Leon was overwhelmed by being in the spotlight everywhere and being so in demand.
You ran around the corner of the cafe, where all the reporters had gathered around Leon and showered him with questions. You were close enough to overhear a little. “Unbeatable champion Leon, that was a masterpiece of a battle! Defeating a Gigantamax Toxtricity while Charizard was completely at a disadvantage! How did you manage that? "
"Ahahahaha ... ha .. As I already explained to your predecessor .. and those before that, Pokemon types are no guarantee for a win! Charizard and I knew we were at a disadvantage and we only eradicated this disadvantage with tactics! Nothing else. Toxtricity was very strong! ”Leon laughed and scratched the back of his head in disgrace. Who knows how often he was allowed to answer these and similar questions today ... "Champion Leon! Allow us to take a few more snapshots at the scene! Please lead us to the place where you defeated Toxtricity! ” one of the journalists demanded. You only shook your head slightly at the insolence and intrusiveness of these people. Leon also seemed to be in need of explanation. You could tell that this interview was becoming increasingly uncomfortable for him.
"So .. uhm .."
You had to step in. "Unfortunately that is impossible.", you began and stepped out of the alley. The reporters turned to you, puzzled. Leon recognized you and blinked slightly perplexed. "And why is it impossible?" One of the reporters wanted to know and eyed you suspiciously. “Because the Toxtricity are currently breeding and mating. That is exactly why the accident with the Gigantamax happened. The Toxtricity only protected its babies. Right, Champion Leon? ” You asked, winking at him. Leon looked at you completely taken aback before he cleared his throat. “U-Uhm yes, I accidentally fell into a Toxtricity nest and the mother must have thought I was an enemy! We- We should leave them alone! ”He nodded. Now that Leon confirmed it, the journalists believed you.
“Well, then of course that won't work. But we still have some questions for- "
"I have to disappoint you there too, gentlemen.", You quickly intervened directly and fought your way through the crowd until you reached Leon and grabbed his arm. "But our champion has a very important appointment that he is way too late because of you." “Who are you anyway?” One of the men finally wanted to know.
“I am the daughter of the CEO of Aerial Industries, Amila's largest commercial company. And the manager wants to speak to Leon immediately. And your uncooperative behavior will only get him into trouble. So please excuse us now. “, You spoke then and simply dragged Leon past the reporters and onlookers. "Hold on, wait. Aerial Industries is interested in Champion Leon? We'd like to know more about that! ”One of them shouted, but you were already starting to run with Leon. “I'm really sorry, gentlemen. But it's still confidential between Leon and Aerial! We are not authorized to give further information! ”You shouted before you let go of Leon at some point after you were sure that the men weren't following you.
"I thought your father was Amila's professor? You didn't say he's also the CEO of Aerial Industries? ”Leon mumbled, perplexed.
"He isn't." You smirked, which made Leon even more confused. "But I couldn't get you out of there any other way." "You have ..", Leon started in shock, pointing at you with his gloved hand. “I took you out of this interview on purpose, yes. Because they pushed you pretty hard. You've already explained everything and they just haven't left you alone. And you looked so burned out I just had to act. Sorry. ", You said and clasped your hands apologetically. Leon just stood there, speechless, blinking. Then he started to laugh sincerely and put his hands on his hips. "I see. So that's how it was. Well, thank you very much for saving me. ", He smiled and when you looked into his face, you only noticed happiness and serenity. "Then you are not mad that I interfered?", You asked. Only now did you realized that you had acted on an impulse and that you had already intervened before your thought process was over. "Of course not.", The purple-haired smirked and put his hand on your head. “To be honest, that really came in handy for me. Who knows how long that interview went without you .. ", he sighed exhausted and took off his cap to fan himself with it. "Mmm, it must be exhausting to have so much hustle and bustle around you all the time.", You lamented. Leon laughed lightly and nodded. "That's it. Sometimes ... I don't want to be a champion anymore. I would just like to have some time for myself again .. A .. Mhm yes a short break .. and if it's only one day .. Does that sound selfish of me? ", He asked you. “No, why should it be selfish? You work almost non-stop, you go all over Galar for press conferences, photo shoots, while you make sure that Galar stays in balance and protect people and Pokemon. You really deserve a day off. ",You nodded. Leon then smiled in relief. “Thank you for seeing it that way too. Unfortunately, I can't allow myself to do that. ", He sighed. "Why not?"
"Well, I don't know where to go .. Everyone in Galar knows me .. and .. I wouldn't have a quiet minute," Leon mumbled. "What if you just spend the day off somewhere else?" You suggested. "Somewhere else..?"
You didn't answered him at all and just grinned when you grabbed his hand again and ran to the nearest Corviknight taxi. "Ah, hello there, where do you want to go?"the taxi driver asked and fed two Corviknight some berries. "Do you fly overseas?", You wanted to know and Leon looked at you questioningly. “You mean in other regions? Well, we have special taxi couriers for that. Which region do you want to go to? ”He asked. "Alola."
"Heh? Alola? ”Leon asked surprised. You smiled and paid the taxi driver. "Yep. A short trip to a vacation paradise. Perfect for our little break. ", You giggled. "Break? So it's not your honeymoon, sweeties? ", The taxi driver smiled and saw the young couple blush and gesticulate with their hands in panic. "No, no, no .. We are not .. So .. Haha .. Come on, let's just get in.", You laughed embarrassed and dragged a blushing Leon behind you.
You took a seat in the large gondola that was carried by the birds and tried to forget the embarrassing situation as quickly as possible. As a result, there was initially a rather uncomfortable silence while the gondola with the Corviknights started moving and the approximately four-hour flight to Alola began. You thought about how you had spontaneously persuaded Leon to run away with you, even though you didn't know each other very well. At this realization you gripped your head with a sigh. This action caught the champion's attention, and he looked at you when he became slightly concerned about your strange behavior. "Are you okay ..?" He asked. TYou blinked before you realized that you had sighed audibly and waved embarrassedly. "Yes everything is fine. I ... just feel a little bold. After all, I almost kidnapped you, didn't I? ”You asked with a slight laugh. Leon smiled and crossed his arms. “You could almost call it that. But .. As I said, this little break is very convenient for me, that's why .. you will be forgiven that you 'kidnapped' me. ", He said and winked slightly. You smiled at his answer and relaxed again. Even if you didn't know each other as well as you thought, the mood between you had been quite exuberant and relaxed since you had met in the Slumbering Weald. It was a sympathy that was hard to explain. "I am happy about that. Now it's time to go to Alola. How long did the taxi driver think the flight would take? ”You asked. “About 4 hours. Maybe half an hour more, in case the Corviknight need a break and have to rest. ", The purple-haired man thought and crossed his arms. “It's still a long time. Now that we have to sit around here anyway .. how about if we use the time wisely? ”He asked. "With pleasure. What do you mean with 'use our time wisely'? A fight is hardly an option. “, You thought and looked around. There was really not much space in the gondola ..
"That's probably true .."Leon answered with a slight grin. “I was also more likely to think that it would be a good opportunity for us to find out more about each other. We already know a few things from the phone calls and other meetings, but .. there is still a lot that concerns me, ”he then admitted. "What are you concerned about? About me? “, You asked perplexed and pointed to yourself. Leon nodded. "Yes. For example, you said you were born in Amila. But you grew up in Sinnoh for several years of your life. You even started your journey as a trainer in Sinnoh. Why? Why not in Amila and why did you live in Sinnoh? Please forgive me if these questions are too private. Basically we're just acquaintances, ”he added quietly and scratched his bearded jaw. “Don't be silly, Leon. We are no longer acquaintances. We are friends. Well .. at least that's how I see it. ", You then spoke lightly. Leon then gave you an illegible look before smiling and showing you his signature grin. "Yes. I see it that way too. I was just a little worried about whether it was still too early to tell me something like that, "he added. You shook your head slightly at him. “But I want to tell you. I know that you can be trusted, champion. ", You started with a smile and then leaned back on your seat. "Well .. In our family, we were a bit short on domestic bliss for a very long time. But .. that is a bit longer story .. ", You sighed. “But we have time. You know, in Amila there was a trainer school academy in Sonnfelden. And every child had to go to this school when they turned 5. There you were trained and prepared to be a trainer for 5 years. That's where I met Cynthia too, you know. "
“Ah, the champion from Sinnoh? She was in the semifinals of last year's Champion Cup. That was a close match between Steven Stone and her. ", Leon remembered. You nodded. “She is not only the champion of Sinnoh, but also something like my big sister. But I'll get to that in a moment. In any case, she also attended the academy when she was younger, since her family was also from Amila, you know. And when I came to the academy, of course, she had been outside for a few years. But she stayed as a visiting professor and taught us a lot. For example, she helped me back when we got a loaned Pokemon in our second year. You get a Pokemon egg that you have to take care of and so that you get a feel for the Pokemon. During this time, Cynthia and I became very good friends, although of course she was much older than me. I just saw her as a big sister. Unfortunately, she had to go back to Sinnoh a year before I graduated, but she assured me that I could always go to her if I had worries .. And I made use of that faster than we both would have liked .. ”, you began and looked at your hands. Leon noticed the slight change in your mood. "What happened?" He asked, taking off his cap to place it on yours in a comforting gesture. You smiled and adjusted the cap before sighing deeply. "My parents were about to get divorced," you explained. “Although they could probably pull themselves together again to some extent. But suddenly they started arguing again and .. the evening before my final exam  .. I found out the real reason I as born. ", You said and bit your lip lightly. Although the events were in the past, it still seemed to be a burden somewhere. And now that you thought about it, Leon was the first person to tell all this to. “Our parents' marriage was about to end before I was born. The harmony had long been gone and my father took refuge every now and then in the arms of other women because my mother just didn't gve him what he needed anymore. Anyway, my mom decided to just stop taking the pill and get my dad to ... sleep with her one night when she was particularly fertile. The result came quickly and ... yes. And believe me, it's not a nice feeling to hear that your parents only got you to save their marriage. ", You sighed. "I understand that .. Above all, you were very young. That must have been a shock .. ", Leon said quietly and put his hand on your shoulder. You just nodded slightly. "That was. I just felt so misunderstood and of course confronted both of them with what they meant by that. And then ... I found out the true circumstances of their marriage and ... that I have an older brother in addition to Kaito. "
"Wait ... you didn't even know before that Mamoru was your brother? Did he grew up somewhere else too? ”Leon sounded confused, but at least one could understand that. You smiled sadly. “Well, Mamoru had drawn an even worse fate with these people than I did. Or it was more of a benefit to him who knows. Anyway .. after my brother was born, there was an attack from a wild Gengar in Sonnfelden. There was an university too, where father studied archeology and mother studied medicine. They tried to stop the Gengar, but it got out of hand and used.. Dream Eater on my hypnotized mother. She lost her memories ... of her entire life because of this. Her husband and son. Then father decided to get my brother to his brother, our uncle Brian, in Bad Lavastadt, Hoenn. They wanted to get him back when the therapies made Mother able to remember and feel better. But .. after seeing how happy my brother was with Uncle Brian and his wife, they no longer had the heart to do it. Since then, the harmony between our parents had diverged. They barely had anything to say to each other, they also no longer exchanged loving gestures and gradually the marriage of the two broke up more and more, until my father finally thought of a divorce .. ", You mumbled. "... and to avoid the divorce, your mother thought, a child would somehow save the marriage or keep them together?" Leon asked and squeezed your shoulder slightly affectionate in an attempt to give you further comfort. "Yes. That was the ulterior motive of my conception. And somehow they made me feel that quite often, but I never thought anything about it .. Until I found out why I was born .. "
"What happened after that?"
“The relationship with my parents was down. And I hadn't passed the final exam either, precisely because my nerves were so shaky and the whole situation at home just finished me off. I just had to get out of there. That was the only thing I could think of. Then I remembered what Cynthia had said to me before she left .. That she would always have her arms open for me and that I could always come to her .. Just .. how should I travel to Sinnoh as a 9 year old child? … Father's Alakazam .. “, you then began. “Father's Alakazam can read the minds of us humans. And if you imagine a place very strongly and your wish is big enough ... then the powerful teleport from Alakazam will manage to transport you there. And you can surely guess who I was thinking of, right? ", "Cynthia?"
You nodded. “You should have seen her puzzled face when I suddenly appeared in front of her. I told her everything and afterwards she took me to her grandmother in Celestic Town. So that's how it started, that's why I went to Sinnoh. That's why I started my career as a trainer there, and that's why Cynthia and Professor Carolina are like a family to me. " "And your brother? I mean .. You are in good contact with your parents again, don't you? Did Mamoru know about it too? I mean that the people who raised him weren't his real parents? ”Leon wanted to know. “I think Uncle Brian couldn't take it anymore and told him. At the time, however, I had been in Sinnoh for a long time. Mamoru and I didn't even knew each other until then. We met after I got home because Mother got sick. Very sick. But don't worry, she's fine. But he should tell you himself how it is with Mamoru and our parents. If I do that, he'll surely get angry. ", You laughed a little. Leon nodded and smiled. “Thank you for this private glimpse into your life and your family. I want to return this favor and ... that's why I'll tell you something about myself that nobody else knows. Not even my best friend, Raihan. ”Leon began. "Wait .. If even your best friend doesn't know about it, then you shouldn't tell anyone else ..", You mumbled, embarrassed. Leon laughed softly and waved. "But I want to show you that I trust you as much as you trust me."
“That's nice of you, but you don't need that. If I didn't knew that you trust me, I wouldn't have told you the story in the first place. ", You smiled. "Fine. But at some point I'll tell you whether you want to or not. ", Leon laughed and winked at you charmingly. "Thanks for the warning."
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toomanyrobins · 3 years
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a little birdie told me pt. 11
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Summary: Y/N “Birdie” Parker left New York and her family three years ago in the middle of the night. Now, a call for help to her best friend brings her back into the fold of the Three Families and their “business”
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Parker!Reader
Content warning: physical abuse, miscarriage, cursing, mentions of forced marriage, sex, mentions of alcohol and inebriation
Word Count: 2.3k
Notes: Steve is a bit of stubborn idiot in this, but so is Birdie. Next part we will learn more about Steve and his past. Enjoy! 💛
Series masterlist // next part
Y/N stood outside the door of the round table room of the Ivory. Dread coursed through her as she waited to speak to Tony. Desperation was driving her and Y/N knew that if she stopped moving even for a moment, she would break. All she had to do was sign her name on the contract and then she could breakdown. Finally, the door opened and she was surprised to see that there was a group of people waiting for her inside. George sat at the head of the table with Tony and Pepper to his left, Barney on his right and Bucky and Steve filled out the remaining chairs. Everyone turned to look at her when she walked in. Y/N took a deep breath. This lie needed to be sold or she was in trouble, “I need to apologize for my behavior yesterday. The shock of it all hit and I didn’t handle it well. I took yesterday to calm down and think about it. I’ve decided that this union is a good idea. That is, if Steve is still willing.” She turned to Tony, “Dad, as much as it pains me to admit, you were right. He is a good man. I’ve been known as an irresponsible girl whose head is in the clouds. I need to prove that I’ve matured and this could be a step in the right direction.”  No one spoke as Pepper scoffed and glared at Tony as she left the room, the door slamming on her way out. 
Steve stood up and grabbed Y/N by the arm, she winced as he hit exactly where Brock had grabbed her the day before, “We need to talk.” He pulled her out of the room, “You’ve been avoiding me for three days. We slept together and the next morning you ran out of that hotel room without a word. Yesterday, you announced in front of multiple people that there was no chance in hell that you would ever marry me. What the hell is going on, Birdie?”
Her nails dug into her palm, “It’s like I said. I took the day and thought it over. I’m not leaving again, Steve… I can’t. This marriage has been in the works since I was 17 and it’s a way to show that I’m not little Birdie Stark anymore. I’m not the problem child that you got saddled with as punishment. Clearly, you want it or you wouldn’t have agreed the second time and I think I could be happier with you than anyway else I’ve ever met. So, please, don’t give up on me now… Please.” 
Steve looked down at Y/N. He could see the mistiness in her eyes, but he could also see that she was being genuine. He just nodded and they went back into the office. No one spoke as they both signed the contract that had been drawn up. Before the ink had dried, Tony was pulling out a celebratory drink. When Steve turned to hand one to his new fiancee, he realized she had left the room. He put the glasses down and went to look for her. He found her outside talking to Pepper and decided not to intrude.
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As soon as everyone’s attention was taken, Y/N had gone after Pepper. She found her outside the building and called to her. “Mom, I’m sorry.”
Pepper held up a hand to stop her, “Don’t you dare apologize. It’s your father that is to blame for this. None of this would have happened if he hadn’t interfered. You wouldn’t have left the first time and you wouldn’t feel the need to prove yourself by marrying someone you don’t want to.”
“Oh, Mom… you can’t just blame Dad for all of that. There were so many other reasons I left.” The image of Brock leaning against the car haunted her. “Yes, he was part of it, but not all of it. I’m not just marrying Steve to prove myself. I know you imagined us finding our soulmates like you did with Dad. But, I don’t believe in the One. I believe that Steve and I can make each other happy and I’ve been stuck in a rut for a really long time. He and Jamie make me happy in a way I haven’t been in years. It’s not a great love story, but it’s a good future. One that lets me keep all of you with me and that’s all I want.”
Pepper reached up to cup Y/N’s face, “I just don’t want you to sacrifice because you think you deserve less.”
“Mom, it’s too late for regrets and all I want is to know I have your support, because I can not plan a wedding.” Pepper laughed at that and Y/N knew she managed to distract her mother from her anger. “Don’t be mad at Dad for too long. For all of his stupid mistakes, he really is doing what he thinks is best.”
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The weeks following the contract being signed was exhausting. They had immediately started plans. This wedding was happening quickly, before Becca and Sam’s wedding could even happen. Planning this wedding was a nightmare for Y/N. The planner was the most odious person she’d ever had the misfortune of meeting. The woman’s hand had stayed on Steve’s arm the entire first meeting and cemented her as persona non grata in Y/N’s mind. 
Pepper had invited her for a meeting at the Ivory They sat at one of the tables in the solarium. “So color scheme for the wedding?”
“Lime green and orange.”
Y/N heard Pepper sigh next to her, “Jewel tones: burgundy, emerald, navy blue.”
“Lovely,” the wedding planner simpered, “Do you have a date in mind?”
“March is the hope, but we don’t have a specific date in mind.”
“Well we can look at a few locations and see if their availability will help narrow that down. Unless, you have a place in mind?”
“No, this wedding is a blank slate.” 
Y/N was zoned out, as her mother planned the wedding. Finally, she couldn’t stand it any longer and pushed her chair back, “I forgot I told Steve that I would stop into his office. Mom, you know what I like.” She escaped from the table and hurried up to his office. She threw the doors open, “Can we elope?”
Steve’s eyes didn’t even leave the document he was reading. This was not the first time they’d had a similar discussion, “Sweetheart, I’ve told you before. No.”
“Please,” Y/N slinked over and perched herself on the corner of his desk, “The wedding planner is the worst!”
He sighed and put the papers he was reading down. He looked up her, amusement shining in his eyes, “Are you sure you’re not jealous?”
She gasped in outrage, “Jealous! Why would I be jealous?”
“Because she kept touching my arm when we first met her and I thought you were going to rip her hand off.” She hated that he had caught that moment of weakness. They had kissed a few times since signing the contract, but they hadn’t slept together since the party. He gave her a quick kiss, “I kind of liked that you were jealous.”
Y/N pouted, her bottom lip sticking out, “I want a divorce.”
“Need to be a good girl and marry me first.” She whimpered and finally Steve shoved aside his work, giving her his whole attention, “You know for someone who is as bad at following rules as you are, calling you a good girl really seems to do something to you.”
Y/N hopped off his desk trying to put some distance between them, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh really? So when I said that to you, I didn’t see you get all flustered? Just like you are right now?” Steve stood up and moved behind her. He wrapped one arm around her waist and kissed along her bare neck, watching as goosebumps blossomed. He smirked and leaned close to her ear and dropped his voice, so that it was thick like honey, “You don’t want to be a good girl for me, Birdie?”
Y/N whimpered softly and a shiver ran down her spine as his voice rolled over her. She felt his lips brush along her neck and the ability to think was gone. 
“I – I,” She dropped her head back, giving Steve unlimited access to her, “Oh, I can’t think when you do that.”
“Let’s make a deal, sweetheart. You give me some answers and I promise I’ll make it worth your while.
“Okay, but I can't guarantee you’ll like the answers I have to give.
He smirked at her defiance, “Were you jealous?”
“Yes.”
“Were you telling me the truth about that dinner I made two nights ago? Was it good?”
She snickered, “No, it was awful. I’ll cook from now on.”
Steve decided to try and see if he could get some answers to questions that plagued him. He switched his tune and spun her around so that she was standing between his thighs, “What happened to make you run from the hotel?”
Y/N played with the buttons on his shirt, avoiding his gaze, “Becca called me Jamie’s mom and it freaked me out. I don’t know if I can be a good parent and I don’t want to replace his mother. I know that she’s dead, but still.”
“First of all, you are an amazing mother to Jamie. Take it from someone who actually had no experience with kids, you are miles ahead of where I was. You love him and care for him and I trust you completely with him.” Y/N kissed Steve, her hand curling into his hair. They separated, but he kept on hand on her back, “One more question. Where were you for the last three years?”
She stiffened and he watched her mask fall into place, “I told you. I went to a lot of places. 
“What happened to you? The full story.”
Y/N shrugged him off and stepped away from him, “Rogers, don’t do this.”
“You need to talk to someone.”
“I have, just not the people who continue to push me and piss me off.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “You deserve to be happy, Birdie.
“I am happy…Look, I can’t keep spending my life sad because some shit has happened in my past. I want to enjoy the life I have. Spend my days with my family, and be there for you and Jamie. I don’t want to be sad and broken.
You’re not sad or broken,” Steve tucked her hair behind her ear, “But there's a difference between moving on and avoiding.”
“I’m not avoiding shit. I’ve always told the truth about what’s happened to me.”
Steve stared at her incredulously, “The whole truth?” Y/N stiffened and nodded at him. If her eyes could kill, he would died a hundred times over. “The whole entire truth? You’re not hiding something deep down?”
“I’ve told everyone everything they need to know about where I’ve been and about my ex.
Steve chuckled humorlessly and started walking towards Y/N, “You’re so careful, you know?”
Her stomach was is knots, “Careful?”
“Yes. You never say his name. Only ‘my boyfriend’ or ‘my ex.’ This anticipation is killing me. Why are you protecting him even after all this time?”
“I’m not protecting him. Maybe I just don’t want all the possessive guys around me to get even worse. Maybe... just maybe, it’s not your business.”
Steve groaned at her stubbornness and kissed along her neck, turning her legs to jelly. “Come on, be a good girl. You’re going to be my wife. Just give me a name, Birdie.”
Y/N knew his game and it still took all of her strength to pull away, “Oh no. You’re not using that against me.”
“Sweetheart, I am trying to get you to open up to me. Getting you to share is like Bucky and Sam trying to have an intelligent conversation. You’ve got so many walls up and every time I think I’ve broken one down, two more are put up. I'm just trying to understand you.”
She shoved his chest, “If you want to understand, just be there. Make me believe you’re worth it. Don’t seduce me into getting your way. Help me understand that you won’t leave when it gets tough. 
“What, like you did?” Y/N reeled back when Steve said that.
“I’m trying to make up for that.”
“Then tell me what is going on with you.”
She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her mind was swirling, “No, Steve! No! You don’t get to guilt me into this. This is not fair to me. Will you do this every time I don’t act how you want? Is my leaving some ploy you’ll use to get what you want? That’s not the actions of someone I want to share with. I want to tell you everything because I trust you to understand and not because I think it’ll make you forgive me faster… I—I need to go.”
“Birdie…”
“I need space from all of this. Get my head on straight. I’ll see you later.” Y/N was out the door, before he could stop her. 
Her phone was vibrating like crazy and she finally looked at it. Messages from an unknown number had filled the screen:
I meant what I said when you’re all mine.
You belong to me and to HYDRA.
Maybe the Families will get some anonymous intel on where you’ve been
Can Steve Rogers really give you all I did?
Do you cry his name out like you did mine?
What will Daddy Stark say about his little whore of a daughter?
Are you so stupid that you think marrying Rogers will protect you?
What Y/N didn’t know was that George was tracking her phone and was seeing every message she got. It didn’t take long for him to get the information he needed. Brock Rumlow: the reason Y/N Parker-Stark was broken. HYDRA had gotten closer and done more damage than anyone else knew.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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anubislover · 3 years
Text
Welcome to the Heart Pirates, Nami-ya chapter 19: Lying Hearts
“How can anyone stand to live in a city like this?” Nami grumbled as the light glinted off of yet another painfully white building. True, the setting sun had lessened the glare slightly, but after an entire afternoon of it, she was developing quite the headache, even with the sunglasses.
Law shrugged and continued walking at a leisurely pace, still unaffected. “I’m sure if you’re born somewhere like this it’s easier, but people can learn to tolerate almost anything given enough time, I suppose.”
“Do you think you’d be able to learn to tolerate bread?”
“I said almost. I’d sooner die of starvation.”
She shook her head with a chuckle but kept pace, following his lead. Instead of heading straight back to the submarine, Law had insisted on a few detours through Atifakuto—partially in case anyone had grown suspicious and decided to follow them, but also to scope out potential escape routes under the guise of sightseeing. Nami, for her part, had been exceedingly helpful in this, mapping out in her head which stairways lead where and pointing out various places to hide. If Law found her compliance suspicious, he didn’t say anything; it was in their best interest to work together, especially with some potentially valuable goods on the line, so her behavior was easily rationalized.
For her, however, there was more than artifacts or even belli at stake. This heist had to go well. She needed Law to trust her enough to open up about why he was so obsessed with Amber Lead. Perhaps if he could do that, she wouldn’t even have to sneak into his quarters to take a look at the ledgers. She could just ask and he’d let her in like a rational human being.
Of course, in order for either of their plans to succeed they needed to know where the vase was. Luckily, the rest of the Hearts hadn’t been sitting idle on the submarine. They’d been investigating every possible gallery, art collector, museum, and auction house their prize could possibly be at. The second they had a lead, they’d call on the mini Den Den Mushi.
Until then, though, Law and Nami were forced to meander about the city, planning and killing time.
“So, while we wait for some intel, what else are you going to buy me?” she asked as they wandered the fourth level. They’d passed quite a few shops, and while most had stocked dull business suits similar to the last store, Nami felt her bags were tragically light. They were in a beautiful-if-blinding city, and she was walking away with only one outfit? What a travesty.
Snorting dismissively, Law glanced down at her with a clear look of are you kidding me? on his face. “Nothing. I told you I was only getting you one outfit. I’m your captain, not your sugar daddy.”
“You know, for a man who wants this little job to go well, you’re not putting in nearly the effort you should,” she quipped, a sly smile on her lips, eyelashes fluttering prettily. “I’m supposed to look professional and put together if I’m gonna pull off being your lovely assistant. That means I need matching shoes and accessories. Maybe a cute leather purse or briefcase to really sell it.”
“If you want those so badly then buy them yourself. Or,” he smirked, halting his pace to turn around and catch her chin between his fingers, tilting her head up towards him as he stepped in close enough so she could feel his body heat, “you earn them by doing certain favors for daddy.”
Her cheeks only pinkened a little at his innuendos while she stuck out her tongue and shoved him away. Last night’s dream wasn’t quite as close to the forefront of her mind anymore, but that didn’t mean his smirk didn’t do things to her she’d rather ignore. “Pass. You should know by now that it takes more than clothes for me to play nice.”
“Mmm, I do. That’s what makes it so much fun,” he purred, gold eyes glinting in wicked amusement. One gloved hand was shoved into his pocket while his free arm slung itself casually over her shoulder as he continued stalking along the fastidiously clean road. “But since you’re currently insisting on being a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man to provide for her, you can instead borrow some shoes from Ikkaku, and she might still have a pair of glasses or something from the time she pretended to be a receptionist at a Naval base.”
Brown eyes widened at his statement. Not because he was suggesting that she borrow clothes or anything, but the bombshell he’d just casually dropped in light of her recent discovery.
“Was this for one of your plans?” she asked, shoulders stiffening.
He shrugged like it was no big deal, though he did give her a curious glance at the way she tensed beneath him. “Yeah. We needed someone on the inside, and they’d put out an advertisement for an attractive female in her early twenties. It’s not like Uni or Penguin could do it.”
“But…holy shit, Law, are you serious?” she hissed, dragging him over to an unoccupied part of the street behind a solitary gated tree so she could scold him in private. There weren’t too many people about, but the last thing they need was to get unwanted attention because they’d caused a scene, even if Law totally deserved to get chewed out at the top of her lungs for being such an asshole. “Ikkaku has Marine brothers who want her dead and you sent her into the lion’s den? What the fuck?!”
Caught off-guard by her anger, Law’s eyebrows shot up briefly before furrowing. “She told you about them?”
Damn. In her shock and anger on her friend’s behalf, she’d forgotten that this was a subject she wasn’t technically supposed to know. But instead of admitting guilt, she doubled down and threw on her best poker face.
“Yeah. She told me,” she lied easily. Too easily. It came as naturally as it had back in the days she’d been working under Arlong, getting close to pirates by lying through her teeth and then robbing them blind. How many crews and captains had she deceived before Luffy? Nami had honestly lost count, but once she’d joined up with the Straw Hats, lying to a supposed ally hadn’t been quite as instinctual.
But this isn’t Luffy, and Law’s keeping way more secrets than I am, she rationalized. It’s just a little white lie anyway. He’d be way more pissed at Shachi and Penguin for telling me. I’m looking after those guys.
Law’s expression hardened, and for a moment she wondered if he’d seen through her bluff. She didn’t think she’d gotten too rusty in the lying department, but Law was smart and distrusting in general, so she couldn’t quite tell. Trepidation hung heavy in the air as she waited for him to speak, mind going a mile a minute coming up with new lies and explanations to appease him. Worse came to worst, she could throw the guys under the bus, even if she didn’t really want to, but they were his best friends, so Law would doubtlessly be more forgiving towards them, right?
Thankfully, it seemed his anger came from a completely different place, as he snarled quietly through clenched teeth, “Nami-ya, I am, as you have pointed out rather frequently in the past, a control freak. Do you really think I would devise a plan that required sending my top mechanic into a Marine base if there was even a chance she could be recognized? Especially by her utter shit of a brother?”
She flinched at the vitriol in his voice. It seemed she’d touched a nerve, and unless she wanted to lose all the progress she’d worked for, she knew it was best to back down. “Sorry. You’re right.”
“I’ll accept your apology if you tell me what prompted her to tell you,” he stated, crossing his arms. “It’s not information she makes widely known, even to those who are permanent members of my crew.”
Well. At least this was easy enough to justify, and she’d be doing both Law and Ikkaku a favor, right? Sure, the guys would obviously tell him later, but being the first to warn him might earn her a few more crumbs of trust. “There was an article in the paper about Marine reinforcements coming to the Grand Line. Ushi was interviewed. He seemed pretty intent on taking down the Heart Pirates.”
Law froze, his frown deepening into a dark sneer. The tic in his jaw and the way his fists clenched reminded her of his reaction to Ikkaku having been attacked on Grimm. “That fucker will stay away from Ikkaku if he’s got any brains in him.”
“You’re pretty protective of her,” she said. Sure, he’d perhaps phrased his defense in a way that implied his priority was the plan, it was clear from the hiss in his voice that Ikkaku’s safety had been genuinely considered.
The brim of his hat hid his eyes as he stated, “I’m protective of all my crew. She’s just…it’s hard to find submarine engineers, let alone ones as skilled as her. Ikkaku’s hard to replace.”
Well that stinks to high heaven of bullshit, she thought. Sure, the Surgeon of Death had a rightly-earned cruel reputation, but he’d shown time and again his crew meant a lot to him. Stepping in close, she used her finger to lift his hat enough to see his expression unobstructed. “Is that why you let her sass you? Because if she walked you’d be dead in the water?”
The gold orbs glared down at her, though the held no heat. “Everyone on the crew is a vital component. Like gears in a well-oiled machine. You’ve gotta take care of them to make sure they don’t break.”
When Nami merely raised a disbelieving eyebrow, he sighed, body deflating slightly. “Look, Nami-ya, everyone on my crew, we’ve all got shit in our pasts. Some have overcome it. Some still carry the scars. Ikkaku…hers is one of the few that’s actively still trying to get her. So yeah, maybe I’m a bit more protective, but it’s for a damn good reason.”
Ok, now that was a fair point. “I’m surprised you haven’t just killed him.”
“Oh, I want to,” he snarled. “No brother should try to hurt their siblings. They’re supposed to look after them. The only reason Ushi-ya still draws breath is because Ikkaku begged me to spare his pathetic life.”
It suddenly dawned on Nami that, despite his criticizing Luffy for not being more bloodthirsty, Law was…surprisingly merciful in his own ways, too. He didn’t murder Ikkaku’s brother, despite having clear reason to, just because she asked. He rescued Jean Bart from a life of slavery despite not knowing him. And while she didn’t fully understand the Ope Ope no Mi’s powers, she wondered if his cuts didn’t draw blood because he didn’t want them to?
She wasn’t sure if he had a complexity addiction or if he genuinely wanted to minimize bloodshed, but once again another side of the incredibly fascinating man had been revealed.
Taking a deep breath to calm his anger, he gave Nami a sadistic smile. “Doesn’t mean I let him off the hook with a sternly-worded warning, though. Wanna know what I did to him the last time we met?”
Nami turned a bit green as she remembered Jinzo’s still-beating heart in his hands. Complex and caring towards his crew or not, he was still a twisted bastard. “Fuck no!”
Briefly he pouted at not getting to regale her with the gory details before shrugging. “Pity. It was quite the eventful evening. In fact, it was also the night of mine and Drake-ya’s first kiss.”
“How the hell are those two things connected?!”
“Well, I had to distract him somehow. He was guarding my poor mechanic like a dragon would a virtuous princess.”
Before she could demand more details, or even snort at the idea of Ikkaku being virtuous, the sound of the mini Den Den Mushi reached their ears, interrupting the conversation.
Looking around to make sure there weren’t any eavesdroppers, Law pulled out the little snail phone and clicked down on the top. “Guessing you’ve got something for me?”
“I do,” the snail answered, and Nami recognized the faint accent that indicated they were speaking to Cousteau. “Only one place that specializes in North Blue history. Jubilee & Atlas Antiques. It’s an auction house and gallery on the fifth level, a block away from the Elevate Deliverer Restoration Church.”
“Well that’s a needlessly long name,” he quipped, rolling his eyes. Mentally, Nami had to agree, though it also sounded vaguely familiar. “At least that makes it easier to find. Anything else I should know? Other landmarks, nearby guard stations, that sort of thing?”
There was a moment of hesitation before Cousteau replied, “No station, though there would probably be at least a few guards wandering around at night. It’s, uh, right by a fountain. Blessings from the White City.”
Nami’s eyes widened a little. Oh. Now she remembered. That had been the church with the huge stained-glass windows. The one in her book, by the tribute to Flevance.
“…I see.”
The little snail chewed its lip, clearly concerned. “Captain, if you want, I can do all the surveillance—”
“It’s fine,” he cut in, tone sharp before smoothing out, “I saw it earlier. In fact, I’m glad it’s so close. Nami-ya and I will check out the gallery. We’re nearby and I’d rather see it with my own eyes to get the lay of the land. Unless anyone else has a better lead, you and the others can head back to the ship.”
“Understood, sir. Anything else you need?” he asked, sounding relieved.
“Just tell Clione I might have a job for him later on, so don’t make any evening plans.”
“Aye-aye, Captain.”
The call ended, and Nami peered up at Law, expecting signs of the same darkness that had crossed his face when they’d visited the fountain earlier. Instead, his face was totally blank, staring down at the tiny snail, expressionless.
Somehow, that was far, far more unnerving.
“Law?” she asked, touching his arm hesitantly.
As if awoken from a trance he shook his head before smirking down at her. “Well, hope you don’t mind one last detour before heading back to the ship? I know it’s more stairs but look on the bright side; at this rate, the definition of your calf muscles will be a thing of beauty.”
He didn’t wait for her to respond, turning on his heels and heading towards the direction of the stairs to the next level. Frowning, she began to doubt whether or not this was all a good idea. She didn’t know exactly what his deal was, but she really felt like he was too close to this. But she had the feeling trying to talk him out of it would be an exercise in futility, and would set her back far more than any lie she might spin.
Oh well, she sighed internally, jogging to catch up, so long as he doesn’t do anything stupid. He’s sensible enough to keep a cool head, no matter what his problem is. It’ll be fine.
While it wasn’t far, it took longer than either of them would have expected to actually find Jubilee & Atlas Antiques. Mainly because it was a surprisingly nondescript building compared to the opulent churches and museums nearby. Honestly, based on the exterior, one could easily have passed it by. Like everything else the building was pristinely white, the windows boasting small arches over them and flower boxes containing white impatiens. Really, the most impressive thing about it was the marble plaque out front boasting the company’s name in gold leaf.
But the two pirates didn’t really care about the appearance; it was what was inside that counted. That, and the information board out front, which stated in bold, black letters that there would be a showing and auction of North Blue artworks at 8pm that evening.
“Why don’t you just Scan the place, grab the vase, and walk away? Seems like that would be easy compared to putting on this charade?” Nami asked, eyeing the building. It was hardly Harpin’s mansion; it would take almost no effort for Law to use his powers to steal every item of value inside it, replacing artifacts, paintings, and money with pebbles and potted plants with a mere flick of his fingers, then teleporting them away to safety.
Really, if he weren’t such an ass, Trafalgar Law would be a thief’s dream partner.
Of course, he was an ass, so he gave her a look that implied he considered her question to be phenomenally stupid. “Because there’s no guarantee that the vase is even in there—for all I know it’s being kept in a secondary location until the actual event for security or health reasons. It is a relic from a city that suffered a notorious death toll both before and after the World Government had quarantined it,” he explained lowly. “On top of that, my Room would draw too much attention, so if it’s not in there, we’ll have blown our whole cover and probably the operation.”
Though disappointed that they couldn’t just whisk it away with his powers, she conceded that he had a point. Versatile and useful as they were, the Ope Ope no Mi’s abilities did have their drawbacks. Actually infiltrating the auction house was a safer move.
Yet for a moment, she saw Law glare at the building, as if he were equally frustrated that they couldn’t just grab their prize and go. Perhaps even a great mastermind like him sometimes wished to take the direct path. “At least we can be sure it’ll be presented at this auction,” he reassured, almost as much to himself as her as his hand rested on Nami’s lower back while he escorted her away. “Makes it easier to come up with a plan and contingencies when I actually know the target. My crew did good.”
She twirled a strand of hair around her finger in thought. She supposed he was right, and the pride in his voice when he mentioned the Hearts’ contribution…well, she knew better than to argue with that. Seemed the lesson he learned on the last island was sticking. “Still too bad we don’t have blueprints like Harpin’s house, though.”
“It can’t be helped. That was a job I’d been planning for months. This is more…spontaneous. Why? Scared and looking to back out?” he asked, glancing down at her with a challenging grin.
Nami scoffed. She was a thief that specialized in robbing pirates. Sure, she was a scaredy-cat, but when treasure of some kind was at stake, there were few risks she wouldn’t take. “Not a chance. Just pointing out that we’re going in more blind than last time.”
“Maybe, but at least our prize will be out in the open and not in the home of a former Marine with tentacles. Hell, we might even get it legally.”
“Law,” she started, brow furrowing. She wasn’t scared, but she did have a reasonable concern, especially with how intent he seemed on this one item. “What are we going to do if we don’t win the vase?”
The pair stopped by the Flevance fountain, Law taking a long moment to stare solemnly at the beautiful white angels. Without a word he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small coin, pressing it to his lips before flipping it into the water.
When he turned back to her, his gold eyes were as hard as the statues’ and twice as cold.
“Simple; we take it from whoever did.”
XXX
Hidden in a small cove on an unpopulated section of Atifakuto’s coast, the sight of the Polar Tang’s sunny yellow hull was a welcome relief after a whole day of the city’s stark white walls. Law seemed to agree as his tense posture relaxed into a comfortable slouch, even giving a few of the guys a small grin when they called out to them. To Nami, of course, the submarine was still far from the Sunny and thus would never be home, but she couldn’t help but smile at Law’s reaction. The Dark Doctor really did have some softness deep down.
Of course, that didn’t last long, as the moment they were within the safety of the cargo bay he was once more all business. “Dinner is in an hour. Rest up, brush up on your notes, do whatever you need to prepare for the auction tonight; I’ve got a few more dominoes to put in place,” Law stated. He’d been silent for most of the walk back, though Nami attributed that to him mentally filing through all the information they now had and formulating his plan. Much as she missed and loved Luffy, having a captain who didn’t just go rushing in like an idiot was a nice change of pace.
That didn’t mean she appreciated his tone, though. “Say please,” she quipped, hip jutting out. She might have decided to be more compliant for the sake of gaining his trust, but that didn’t mean she was going to let him boss her around.
Besides, if she were too accommodating, he’d probably grow suspicious and then she’d be right back at square one.
He scowled but apparently decided it would be a waste of time to argue. They were on a tight schedule, after all, so her attitude would have to be tolerated. For now. “Please,” he grumbled before marching off, beckoning Clione to follow him. The biologist glanced between the two, bewildered, but smartly said nothing before chasing after his captain.
Flashing a self-satisfied grin at Law’s retreating back, Nami practically skipped to her quarters. Even though they weren’t as prepared as she’d like, so far, things were going well. Perhaps they couldn’t just use Law’s powers to swipe the vase, but by obtaining it through legal means, they wouldn’t have the authorities after them, which would be nice. Besides, it wasn’t her money that would be spent at the auction.
Her research of the North Blue had taught her a few things, including just how valuable things from Flevance were. After all, things made from the white ore had been in high-demand during the city’s heyday; now that it was in ruins, any remaining artifacts would surely triple in price. And, admittedly, if that fountain had been anything to go by, the vase could very well be extremely beautiful. Something any art collector or historian might want for themselves.
Once more, she wondered why the hell Law wanted it. He collected coins, not art, so she doubted it would be something he wanted just for the heck of it. What was his obsession with Flevance—
That train of thought was derailed when Nami walked into her room. She blinked then rubbed her eyes, certain her vision was still messed up from the sun, because Ikkaku was still sitting at her desk, working on some little device, practically in the same position as that morning. Really, the only difference was the lack of towel around her head, though her curly hair was a tangled bird’s nest.
“Have you even moved today?” Nami exclaimed loudly, flabbergasted.
The mechanic jumped a few inches out of her chair, a pen cartwheeling through the air before falling back onto the surface of the desk with a clatter. Apparently since she’d had the room to herself, she hadn’t felt the need to put the earplugs back in, leaving her vulnerable to Nami’s loud voice. “Damn, girl, you scared me,” Ikkaku said with a breathy laugh. She glanced around, noticing the time on the clock and the fact that her hair had dried completely. “Guess I was in the zone.”
“You haven’t been working all day, have you?” Nami asked, plopping her shopping bag on her bed. “At least tell me you had lunch.”
“Sounding an awful lot like Law there,” she teased, pushing away from her desk to stretch. There was an audible pop from her back, and her dark eyes closed in relief. “Like me, too. The boys and I are always bugging a certain workaholic captain to eat something and not subsist solely on coffee and aspirin. But to answer your question, yes, I did have lunch.” She pointed at an empty plate that had been shoved into the far corner of the desk, a few grains of rice stuck to the surface. “Bepo brought me some onigiri.”
“Good. If you didn’t, I’d be dragging you into the galley and force-feeding you a sandwich, then charging you a cooking and inconvenience fee.”
Snorting, Ikkaku cracked her knuckles and rolled her shoulders, further releasing the tension sitting hunched over in one spot for hours had built up. “Dinner’s soon enough; even if I hadn’t eaten, I could have waited. And good luck making a sandwich with no bread on board.” Despite her dismissal tone, though, she gave a wry grin. “But thanks for caring, I guess, even if it does come with a price tag.”
“What are friends for?” Nami shrugged with a smile that was a little forced. It was such an alien feeling, this sudden awkwardness. Since first arriving on the Tang, she and Ikkaku had gotten on like a house on fire. It was almost inevitable, being the two women on the ship surrounded by men dealing with that insanity together. Hell, even if that hadn’t been the case, Ikkaku had practically sacrificed herself for her back at the club on Grimm. A companion like that was more than she’d even dared to dream of before she’d met Luffy.
Was it really right for Nami to act like she didn’t know about her brother? Should she just tell her that the guys told her about Ushi? Really, what was the point of keeping it a secret? It wasn’t that Nami thought she’d slip up and spill the beans—lying was her specialty, after all—but Ikkaku wasn’t some mark or stranger. She was her friend.
Hell, even if they were on opposite crews, she’d even dare to call her nakama.
The issue resolved itself, however, when the other woman’s expression turned a little melancholy. Ikkaku sighed as she rested her cheek on her fist, her other hand idly playing with the pen. “Heh. Funny, I used to ask myself that question a lot when I was younger. I didn’t really have friends back on my home island. I lived with my Gramps in a lighthouse, so besides the occasional trip to town, it was a pretty isolated life.”
“What about your brothers?” Nami asked, masking her interest by taking her purchases out of the bag so they wouldn’t wrinkle before the auction. A swell of relief surged through her. If Ikkaku talked about Ushi herself, the whole charade of pretending not to know about him wouldn’t even be necessary! She just had to carefully press for the right crumbs of information, maybe even offer up a couple tidbits about her own life in exchange. No big deal. Tit for tat, right? “Nojiko was my best friend growing up. Hell, probably my only friend until Luffy came along.”
A dark look crossed Ikkaku’s face. “Yeah, well, Nojiko on her worst day was probably a way better sibling than all of them combined.”
“I don’t think you’ve talked about them much. I basically just know that they exist and said you wouldn’t really make it as an engineer because you’re a girl.”
A long sigh escaped her lips. “That’s…the nice version. Didn’t want to unload my shitty childhood on you, especially since yours sounded worse. I mean, my island was never taken over by pirates, and I didn’t work for the guy who murdered my mom.”
Well, that was certainly true, but then again, people with healthy, normal childhoods seldom became pirates. Or at least, those that did rarely lasted long on such cutthroat seas. Nami should have realized there was more to the mechanic’s past than some run-of-the-mill misogyny. “Maybe, but I don’t mind. We’ve all gone through some rough shit, right? We wouldn’t be in this line of work otherwise.”
“True. I just…I guess I just like to pretend he doesn’t exist most of the time.”
“He?” she asked as if she didn’t already know.
Ikkaku’s calloused hand dropped the pen to instead clench into a tight fist, and there was a haunted look in her dark eyes as she stared off into space. “Ushi. He’s the oldest. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t afraid of him. Spent our childhood making our other brothers use me as a punching bag. When he wasn’t doing that, he gave me almost hourly reminders that I was a burden on the family, that no one really loved me, that I’d never amount to anything.” There was a hitch in her breath and a pause, and Nami noticed her close her eyes tightly for a moment. As if she were fighting back tears. It was a look she’d never expected to see on the tough, vibrant woman’s face. “Then, when I was seven, he tried to kill me.”
“What?!” Nami exclaimed, dropping her blazer to the floor in shock.
“Yeah. Joras had a huge fucking forest, and he led me into it to look for mushrooms or some shit. Can’t remember. Next thing I know, he’s shoved me into a pit, and by the time I’d climbed out, he was long gone and it was night. I think…I think it was supposed to be my grave, ‘cause it was really fucking deep. Or at least it seemed that way. Maybe I’m misremembering.”
Somehow, Nami doubted that. Sure, memories could get warped with age and fear, but some details remained solid for the rest of a person’s life. “But, you got out, right? And I’m sure your parents must have been worried sick!” She could almost picture it. A young Ikkaku, sticks and leaves caught in her messy curls, knees and elbows scraped, face covered in dirt and tears, frightened but once more able to smile when she was finally found, her mother and father scooping her into their arms, scolding her for worrying them but just so relieved she was safe…
At least, that’s what Bellemere or Mister Genzo would have done if Nami had gone missing.
From the bitter laugh that escaped her throat, Ikkaku hadn’t been so fortunate. “I spent three days wandering around those fucking woods, scared and cold and wondering if I was gonna die out there. My parents didn’t even notice I was gone.” After a long moment of silence, her fist unclenched and some of the tension eased out of her shoulders. “Gramps found me, though. When I didn’t come home after two days and a storm rolled in, my brothers Nausagi and Fukuro ran two miles to the lighthouse to tell him what Ushi had done. Maybe they realized he’d gone too far. Or they were scared I’d come back as a vengeful zombie. Either way, Gramps rescued me and demanded custody. Mama and Pops were glad to hand me over. One less mouth to feed, and I wouldn’t be causing their Future Marine Hero any more trouble.”
“That’s…that’s horrible.” And yet Nami could tell she was getting the abridged version of the story. “Tell me your grandfather was a better guardian.”
Despite the childhood trauma she’d just confessed to, Ikkaku merely shrugged, a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips. “Yeah. He was. Gramps was crazy, but he loved me and taught me how to fight. Told me to never lose my smile, ‘cause that’s my best protection against a world that’ll try to break me.”
“Bellemere said something similar to me and Nojiko. ‘Whatever happens, never lose your ability to laugh. If you can survive, happy times, lots of ‘em, will come your way’.”
“Smart lady.” She tried to casually run her fingers through her hair, only to find them caught in the tangled knots. She let out a light chuckle at her predicament and added, “I think she and Gramps would have gotten along pretty well. Well, assuming she liked salty former smugglers who had the gumption to threaten Law with a shot gun. Not that he didn’t deserve it a little.”
Nami had to smile at that, and she could only imagine what he’d said that had nearly gotten him shot. It was definitely something snarky, a shit-eating grin on his face while he provoked a protective grandfather just because he could.
Noticing Ikkaku’s hair situation, she abandoned her suit to instead pick up a wide-toothed comb. “Well, I’m not sure about Bellmere, but I’d certainly love to meet him.”
“Of course you would.” Leaning back in the chair, she allowed Nami to carefully put her thick curls to rights. “How was shopping? Boss show you the blinding sights of the city?”
“It was…enlightening,” she said cautiously. There was still so much to sort out, and every time she thought she had an answer to one of her questions, four more popped up in its place.
Grabbing the pen she’d been playing with earlier, Ikkaku handed it to her over her shoulder. “Here; I made you something, since I doubt you’ll be able to bring your Clima-Tact with you. Kinda why I was so focused—I wanted it to be ready by tonight.”
Curious, Nami inspected the item. It was a plain black ballpoint pen maybe a bit longer than her hand. There was an almost unnoticeable jolly roger engraved into the middle, and she ran her thumb over it idly. “You spent the whole afternoon making me a pen? I could have just as easily brought my stylus.”
“Oh, but a stylus is only good for writing. This is so much more useful. ‘The pen is mightier than the sword’, right? Click the top.”
She did so, and instead of an ink-filled nub, a small syringe, similar to an epi-pen, popped out. Her eyes widened in realization as Ikkaku explained, “Inside’s a powerful tranquilizer. Should knock any fool out in minutes if injected into the bloodstream. Takes longer if it’s ingested. It’s non-lethal to humans, so it should be safe to use on anyone you’re looking to knock out. Assuming they aren’t really Fishmen in disguise.”
“Why? Does it react differently for them?”
She grimaced. “Yeah. Severe allergic reaction. Anaphylactic shock typically. So, unless you want that on your conscience, humans only.”
Tucking the pen away for later, Nami nodded in understanding and went back to combing her hair. “Gotcha. Doubt it’ll be a problem, though. Jean Bart said this place is pretty humans-only.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s impossible for someone to have that kind of bloodline. If it’s diluted through a few generations, a lot of the time you can hide it and pass for human.”
“Hmmm, hadn’t thought of that.”
There was a moment where Nami could tell she was mulling something over. Even faced away from her, Ikkaku wasn’t hard to read, and it was only a matter of time before she voiced whatever question was on her mind.
While she waited, the ginger took the time to appreciate the texture of Ikkaku’s hair, combing out each curl individually so it wouldn’t frizz. The thick, black locks were coarser than her own, yet surprisingly soft despite her hard life at sea. Hair maintenance was extremely difficult living on the ocean, the salt and fluctuating weather of the Grand Line wreaking havoc on Nami’s much finer strands. And while Ikkaku was far more feminine than one would expect upon first meeting her, in the time they’d roomed together, she didn’t seem to put much more extensive care into her shiny locks than some leave-in conditioner.
Guess she’s just got some good genetics, Nami thought appreciatively. Either that or she’s hiding some amazing shampoo formula, and damn if she is I’ll never forgive her!
When Ikkaku at last broke her silence, the hesitation in her voice was palpable. “Hey, it was a Fishman who held you prisoner all those years, right? You ever…blame all Fishmen for what he did?”
It was an unexpected question, but a fair one, Nami supposed. Arlong had committed a crime so heinous she knew she’d never forgive him, and she knew there were plenty of people, especially ones who spent years abused by such a monster, who would project that hatred onto an entire race. But why even ask?
“I…not really. I mean, I can’t say I never lumped them all together in my head, since Arlong and his crew were my only baseline for Fishmen for a long time.” She bit her lip, thinking. “But that was when I was a kid. My view of things was a lot more black-and-white, mostly because I was bitter at my situation. As I got older, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was stupid to think all Fishmen were like him. He was the one who hurt me, so he’s the only one who should get my hate.”
“So, you don’t hate them all?”
She shook her head. “Nah. Hell, I was even able to forgive a member of his crew. I’m sure you heard about how Luffy punched a Celestial Dragon?”
Ikkaku craned her neck up to look at her, dark eyes widening in shocked understanding. “Yeah? You saying the Fishman he defended—”
“One of Arlong’s crew. Hatchi. Like all of them, he hurt me too, but it was on his captain’s orders, and he clearly regretted it.” Well, it had been a bit more complex than that. Hell, when they’d first encountered him again, she’d nearly gone back on her promise to Camie to rescue him. Even if he hadn’t abused her like the others, he’d still been complacent in it. Still destroyed villagers homes, held her hostage, attacked the Navy ships that tried to come to the rescue. He hadn’t been blameless in the least. She would have had every right to demand that he be left to be killed or enslaved. That it was karma come to bite him in the ass.
Yet what had swayed her, apart from Camie’s determination to save him, was her own friends’ reactions to seeing him again. Those who knew her past had immediately been ready to turn the ship around and leave Hatchi to his fate. Of course she’d expected Sanji to be her knight in shining armor and want nothing to do with someone who had abused a lady, even by proxy. Zoro and Usopp had been a bit more surprising, though perhaps it shouldn’t have been. They knew what she’d been put through. Had fought and bled for her. Despite their sometimes heated disagreements, Nami knew she could count on them to always have her back.
The one who shocked her the most was Luffy. He might have flip-flopped between reason and his stomach, but the fact was, her loving, forgiving captain had actually held a grudge on her behalf. Hatchi and Arlong hadn’t done anything to him personally, but his nakama had suffered, and that wasn’t something he’d easily set aside. That genuine show of solidarity and loyalty to her had melted what ice had still been around her heart, which allowed her to truly forgive the octopus Fishman.
Yes, Hatchi had hurt her, but her hatred was solely reserved for Arlong, not his underlings who genuinely felt remorse.
“I’m not a saint or anything but hating Hatchi…it seemed pointless. He wasn’t the one who killed my mother. And blaming all Fishmen for the actions of one seemed pretty shitty. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill Arlong if I had the chance, though.”
Nami could practically feel the tension drain from Ikkaku’s shoulders, and she couldn’t hide her smile before she looked away. “That’s good to know. That asshole deserves it, from what you’ve told me. He and my brother should meet, then get sacrificed to some kind of horrible sea monster. Plenty of hungry Sea Kings out there to feed.”
“Couldn’t happen to a nicer pair of guys,” Nami giggled as she ran the comb through the last strand of hair. “Though, that might be cruel to the Sea King. Poor thing deserves a better meal than shit like them.”
“True. We’ll just have to think of something else then. We can ask Law; he’s always got great suggestions.”
A shudder ran down her spine, though she had to admit, it wasn’t as horrified as she’d like. She justified it with the fact that Arlong was scum who deserved whatever painful death the likes of Law might propose. So did Ushi, from the sounds of things. Though, Law had said Ikkaku had begged him not to kill her brother. Why? Did she still care about Ushi due to their familial ties? Or was there something else?
Maybe she just doesn’t want her brother’s death on her conscience, Nami thought, putting the comb away and proceeding to raid the closet for shoes. I just hope that doesn’t come back to bite her someday.
XXX
Dinner on the Tang was certainly livelier and noisier than breakfast. Mainly because the crew didn’t have to walk on eggshells while waiting for Law to get his caffeine hit. Most of the time about a dozen different conversations could be heard, utensils clattered against plates, insults were tossed about, and laughter filled the air. But at the moment, the whole galley was silent save for Nami, who was telling the Heart Pirates—save for a few who’d been sent out on last-minute errands—all about her crew’s wild adventure on Skypiea.
“…so, after Luffy beat the crap out of him, Enel flew off to the moon in his gold airship, and we escaped the island with the help of an octopus balloon, our ship loaded with treasure!”
There was a pregnant pause as the Hearts stared at her in a mix of awe and disbelief. She’d had their undivided attention ever since Law announced that the Straw Hats had found Noland’s lost city of gold, all but demanding she tell the tale and not skimp on the details.
Naturally, those details made the story even more bizarre, practically unbelievable, but she gave them what they asked for, so they couldn’t complain. Even Law’s jaw had dropped once or twice in incredulity. Mostly at the part where Luffy’d been eaten by a giant snake and thus been hidden from Enel’s senses.
Finally, a few of the crew managed to find their voices.
“An orangutan nearly wrecked your ship with singing?” Shachi asked, face utterly baffled.
Penguin grabbed his hat and smacked him over the head with it. “That’s what you’re stuck on? That’s from way back in the beginning of the story!”
The ginger punched him in the shoulder in retaliation, which quickly devolved into a childish slap fight. “Well it’s weird, ok?”
“Weirder than Straw Hat punching Kami or the knock-up stream business or the ship that flew to the moon?”
“Yeah! You ever met an orangutan that could sing?!”
“No, but that’s not the point!”
“You met Monte Blac Cricket?” Ermine interrupted, eyes so wide the whites could be seen even under the rim of their hat, though their mouth quickly split into a smile. “Holy shit, I’d wondered what had happened to him!”
“Wasn’t he your friend or something?” Seiuchi asked through a mouth full of rice.
They shook their head, looking a little wistful, a faint blush rising to their cheeks. “Just a neighbor. The people of Lvneel were dicks to his family and anyone who associated with them didn’t get treated much better. But I always thought there had to be some truth to Noland’s story.”
“Because a city of gold is so fantastical it’s gotta be real?” Nami asked, amused. She’d half-expected everyone to laugh at her like the people on Jaya when she’d asked about Sky Island—she’d even glossed over that part, finding no reason to recap such a blow to her pride. Yet instead, they’d been respectful, even entranced by her tale. It seemed to help that she’d been able to fill in a few blanks with what she remembered from Noland’s ledger, thus adding credibility to the man himself instead of just imagining the lying fool the king’s slander had reduced him to.
Usopp would probably love these guys, she thought fondly. Not that they’d likely believe his fantastical lies, but they’d probably at least let him spin his yarns to his heart’s content.
“Because you don’t tell a king about a city of gold unless you’ve got something to show for it,” Uni interjected wisely, ladling some more curry onto her plate. He paused to smile at her with his eyes, the bottom half of his face still distinctly covered by his bandana despite it being dinnertime. This close, Nami couldn’t help but try to subtly look for signs of scarring, and in fact could spot a line of slightly-paler skin peeking out just over the edge. “That, and history’s rarely all that accurate. Full of lies and twisted to suit a certain narrative.”
“That’s the World Government way. I’m sure we’ll see plenty of it tonight,” Law stated, leaning back in his chair as he munched on some onigiri. The bulge in his cheek might have been comical, but the glint in his eye was humorless. “Can’t wait to hear the dumbass assumptions people make about us Northerners.”
Murmurs of agreement echoed throughout the room, though an angry tic formed on Nami’s forehead.
“Are you saying the stuff you had me study is going to be a load of crap?” she demanded, pointing her finger accusingly. Of course she knew history was skewed at best, but she’d spent days cramming! Had weird sexual dreams about him because of it!
Yes she was blaming the book for that and no one could stop her.
He shrugged and took another bite of rice, unbothered by her irritation. “It’s the information you’ll need to be able to regurgitate if anyone asks you about the North.”
“Yeah,” Penguin chimed in, nodding sagely. He and Shachi had finally been pulled apart by Jean Bart and had resumed eating like nothing had happened. “These people aren’t interested in the truth. They just want to feel superior to the ‘uneducated masses’.”
“Buncha pretentious pricks,” Shachi sniggered, balancing a spoon on his upper lip. “Bet they’d have a fucking fit if they found out El Dorodo’s not only real, but in the fucking sky!”
“I mean, can’t say I’d blame them,” Jude grumbled, playing a bit with his food like a grumpy child. “I figured we’d be the ones to find it, but this whole time we’ve been sailing around in a submarine for nothing!”
“You got something to say about my ship?” Ikkaku snapped, glaring at her crewmate. Behind her, Crozier, Cousteau, and Ermine made slashing motions across their throats, silently reminding him that disparaging the Polar Tang in any way in front of its chief engineer was a sure death sentence.
Before he could say anything, Uni thwapped him on the forehead with the spoon, apparently taking just as much offense. “How can you say it’s been for nothing—we’ve found tons of cool shit down here! May not have been El Dorado, but there have been some amazing sunken cities. And fish! We’ve discovered more aquatic animals than any other ocean explorer,” he pointed out excitedly, Cousteau nodding in agreement. “I mean, we’ve seen deep-sea fish not recorded in any book! Extracted hallucinogenic venom from puffer fish! Taken samples of bioluminescent plankton! We’ve seen octopi punch fish!”
“You ever figure out why they do that?” Shachi asked, cocking his head.
“Best I can figure? Spite.”
As weird as this little tangent was, Nami found herself giggling a bit at how excited Uni was. She didn’t know him too well, given how he was one of the quieter, more reserved members of the crew, but it was endearing to see him so animated and giddy as he discussed marine life.
“Plus, it’s cool to study navigational currents and everything, and underwater topography. The maps I can make from that kind of intel are really good,” Bepo added, twiddling his claws a bit beside her.
“Right! And if that’s still not enough to convince you, who needs a city of gold when you can get your hands on more sunken treasure than most pirates see in their lifetimes?” Uni asked, puffing out his chest.
She couldn’t help it—Nami’s eyes lit up with belli signs at the thought of how many sunken ships the submarine probably came across, all that gold theirs for the taking. Most treasure was basically lost once it hit the bottom of the ocean, but the Hearts’ ship and diving equipment turned the ocean floor into their personal piggy bank.
It seemed Jude had the same thought. “You’re right, you’re right,” he conceded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, it’s a great ship, and we’ve definitely found more than a city’s worth of loot—and yes the fish are cool Uni put the spoon away—but it’s still annoying to find out that we’ve been searching the wrong place this whole time.”
“Eh, happens to every pirate crew,” Jean Bart said, sipping his drink. “You find a treasure map only to discover the gold’s already dug up. Same with legends of lost cities. The fact that the Straw Hats actually found El Dorado and came away with a profit just means they’ve got the Devil’s luck on their side.”
“Or the favor of some god. Probably not that Enel guy, though,” Shachi said with a smirk. “And hopefully nothing from Joras, either.”
There was a murmur of agreement among the crew at that, though Ikkaku looked more uncomfortable than amused. Nami wasn’t the only one to catch that, though, as Uni reproachfully smacked the side of his head with the spoon.
“Dude. Don’t joke about the eldritch horror gods, yeah?”
“Sorry,” the ginger said, blushing slightly as he wiped away the curry splattered across his face.
“Eldritch horror gods?” Nami asked, recoiling at the thought. What the fuck?! Joras sounded vaguely familiar and given the context she guessed it had to be someplace in the North Blue, but she sure as hell didn’t recall reading anything about that! Was this something related to Northern culture, or were the guys just fucking with her?
“Nothing to worry your pretty little head over, Nami-ya,” Law stated with a smirk, though she didn’t miss the glare he sent Shachi’s way. “We’ve been sailing under the ocean for over five years and I’ve yet to see a sleeping god who can turn you mad with terror.”
“No, just an underwater ruin or two that talks about him,” Ikkaku muttered, picking at her food.
Underwater ruins with tales of sleeping gods? Sounds like something Robin would be interested in, Nami thought, nervous sweat running down her neck. Not that she’d be able to blame her. Sure, the archeologist was macabre as hell, but Nami could appreciate her thirst for knowledge, creepy or not. Who knew what history and cultures had been lost to the seas? Maybe there were even Poneglyphs down at the bottom of the ocean!
Damn. Robin and Law would probably get along great. She wasn’t sure if she was frightened or comforted by this thought.
Uni seemed to notice her unease and patted her shoulder. “We’ve seen some strange stuff down there, but nothing more dangerous than Sea Kings. Which, I mean, aren’t exactly friendly guppies, but they’ll leave us be. The Tang’s Seastone coating and electrical defenses ensure that.”
Though she still found the whole concept horrifying, she was appreciated how hard Uni was trying to keep the peace and not make things needlessly frightening for her. The whole crew had a morbid sense of humor, but while she’d mostly adapted, she still found this whole conversation creepy. It made her feel a little guilty for wanting to pry into his business. Yeah, it was annoying to know the crew was hiding stuff from her, but Uni deserved a little privacy, right?
“Yeah, and if there were anything more, Uni’s fish buddies would warn us ahead of time!” Malamute added.
“Fish buddies?” Nami asked, eyebrows lifting to her hairline in surprise. So much for respecting his privacy. “Wait, can you talk to fish?”
The man in question stiffened beside her. “I, uh, I can understand fish a little,” he said, looking nervous. His large hands twisted the napkin in his lap, and he refused to look at her. “It’s a Haki thing.”
“Haki can do that?” she asked, surprised.
“Observation Haki can do a lot of things, and Uni’s the best at it on the ship,” Law cut in harshly, glare brokering no argument. “It’s a skill that’s saved our asses plenty of times.”
Nami blanched at his defensive tone. “Hey, I’ll take your word for it, but you don’t have to act like I insulted his mother or something.”
“It’s ok, Law,” Uni said, shrugging a bit, though his face seemed to sink a little further into his bandana. “I know she didn’t mean anything by it. It’s a fair question, and it is a weird talent.”
“It’s not weird. It’s fucking useful as hell and I won’t hear anyone belittling my crew.”
“I’d never belittle him—” Nami snapped, starting to stand up to give Law a piece of her mind before Bepo’s heavy paws fell on her shoulders, gently but firmly keeping her seated.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “Law doesn’t mean you. It’s just…the last person outside the crew that found out, he was extremely cruel about it. Beat Uni to a pulp and even threatened to sell him as a freak show attraction before Captain found them.”
“Oh my god,” she replied, anger cooling quickly as she covered her mouth in horror, imagining Uni bruised and bloody on the ground at the hands of some bastard. Well, that would sure as hell explain why Law had taken such offense. If such a thing had happened to Chopper because he could speak to animals, she’d likely be just as pissed. From the scowls on the rest of the Hearts’ faces, the whole crew felt similar. Her gaze flicked to the fuming captain. “I’m guessing he ended up on your operating table?”
“I wish,” he growled, gold eyes glinting in fury as he crossed his arms. “Marines showed up before I could cut out his heart. Must have been his lucky day, but luck won’t be enough to save him if I ever run into Hyena-ya again.”
“Hyena?” she asked, the name not ringing any bells.
“Bellamy the Hyena,” Bepo explained, snout wrinkling in distaste. “He’s also from the North.”
Oh. My. God, Nami thought, wondering if the world was really so small. “You said Bellamy, right? Blonde hair? Spring powers? Asshole with a stupid grin?”
Law cocked an eyebrow in mild surprise. “Seems you’ve encountered him before.”
She ground her teeth as she remembered the way he’d mocked Luffy’s dreams in the bar. “Yeah. On Jaya. His crew laughed at me for asking about Sky Island and his first mate tried to buy me. Later he stole Cricket’s gold, so Luffy went after him. I didn’t see the fight but given what an ass that guy was…yeah, Luffy wiped that stupid smile off his face.”
Once more the room fell silent, but quickly broke out into thunderous applause.
“Hah! I would have paid good money to see that!” Ikkaku laughed, spirits lifted.
“If he hurt Cricket, I’m glad he got the beating he deserved,” Ermine said with a grin.
Uni smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling happily. “When you see Straw Hat again, shake his hand for me! That guy’s a dick.”
Even Law was put in a better mood, though there was still a malicious edge to his smirk. “Good on Mugiwara-ya. Still wouldn’t mind doing some permanent damage to the fucker myself, though. Bad enough he insulted my crew, but that bastard should pick his idols more carefully.”
Nami’s brow furrowed at that. His idols? The hell did that mean?
She didn’t have time to vocalizing that question, though. Sweat ran down her neck when said smirk then took a more lecherous edge as he rested his chin on his fist, eyes glinting with mischief. “But Sarquiss-ya tried to buy you? I might have prioritize kicking his ass, then. I’m the only one who gets to be your sugar daddy.”
“Oh shut up! You didn’t even buy me new shoes!”
“You got her a suit but no shoes? For shame, Boss,” Ikkaku giggled, getting up to help Seiuchi and Jude clear the tables. “I thought you were supposed to be a ladies’ man.”
“I’m a cruel bastard who doesn’t do something for nothing. She can borrow yours.”
Sauntering over, she playfully poked him in the forehead. “Says who?”
Law snorted and childishly poked her right back. “Me. Your captain. The guy who pays your salary.”
“You pay me to keep the submarine running and sass you when you’re being an idiot.”
“I don’t pay you for that.”
“Mmmm, you’re right; that’s a service I provide for free.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say those two were siblings,” Nami chuckled under her breath.
“Right? When I was first recruited I was convinced they were secretly related,” Uni agreed.
Bepo gave them both a smile and said quietly, “I think it’s good for them. Especially Law. I think he secretly likes having a little sister again.”
Brown eyes widened at that little tidbit. Law had a sister? What happened to her? Bepo had stated the past tense, so there was either some kind of falling out or…
…oh no, she thought, turning to watch Law continue to bicker good-naturedly with Ikkaku, his expression annoyed but the glimmer in his eyes belying that he was enjoying himself. Another piece of the puzzle that was the Surgeon of Death had fallen into her lap, but it wasn’t a particularly happy one. Sure, people died or were killed all the time, but Nami couldn’t imagine what she’d be like if she’d lost Nojiko. And depending on how young they’d been or how she’d died, that could really fuck with a guy.
“Nami-ya.”
Her attention was yanked from her musing as Law called her name. He was on his feet, plate clean and smirk dangerous as he regarded her. Nami wondered whether this would be the last time she’d see him in a genuinely good mood for the rest of the evening. “It’s seven o’clock. Time to get ready to watch history be defiled by pretentious morons. And for your obnoxious thunder god’s sake, make sure you’re wearing shoes you can actually run in.”
( @ninhaoma-ya, @awesomi, @vannahfanfics)
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link-the-feral-anon · 4 years
Text
For @eliemo 's Learned Behavior story
This is if Janus had noticed what was happening to Virgil. Hopefully the read more thing works-
***
***
***
An Alternate Path
:read more:
He froze. Could Deceit hear his heart beating?
"You look well." He drawled. "What happened?"
"Oh- uhm-" Virgil stuttered eloquently.
'Shit-'
"I- S-sorry, I-"
'Say something! Before he gets annoyed, before he gets angry-' But before Virgil could get anything else out, he was crumbling to the ground, still stuttering out apologies.
Deceit frowned slightly when Anxiety apologied, but when he fell to the ground, his mind started to race.
"Anxiety- Virgil?" He asked softly, kneeling before him. "Hey, it's okay. You haven't-"
"Anxiety!" Another voice snapped, then a sucking in of air and a far too cool recovery. "There you are. I brought you an ice pack, you know, for your fall."
That was a lie. The part about the fall. Janus glared up at the other side. Actually, even the ice pack bit wasn't entirely true.
"O-Oh, y-ye-yeah. My- My fa- my fall. Thank- thank you." Anxiety managed. He started to stand, but Janus placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. His heart broke at how Virgil froze. What happened?
"That." Janus began. "Is a lie. As such, *I* will take care of Virgil. You may go." He said in a measured voice, holding out a hand for the ice pack.
The other side looked like they were looking for a reason to get a hold of Virgil. Janus narrowed his eyes.
"Unless you wish for me to call Remus here." He said, a thin sheet of ice coating his words.
"N-no!" Virgil yelped. "It's okay, really! I-I can, I can-"
"Breathe." Janus said softly. "You can just breathe for me."
He did not like how scared Virgil sounded, but he didn't dare look away from the standing side. He was still waiting for the Ice pack. After another moment, he got it.
"That's all." He said, giving even Meryl Streep a run for her money, if he did say so himself.
Once they were alone, Janus turned to Virgil. He felt the ice pack. Hm. It wasn't one of the soft ones. He changed that, now beyond thankful that Remus had forced him to learn how to.
Gently, oh so gently, he placed it on Virgil's eye. Virgil, who felt as stiff as the ice pack did at first.
"I've got you." Janus told him in a voice as gentle as his touch. "It's okay. Can you answer a question for me, Virgil?"
"I- I- Ye-Yeah. S-Sorry."
"Have they hit you before?"
Virgil flinched, but not in a fearful way. In a way that indicated shock.
"Well, yeah. You- You know that." He said, confusion and certainty dripping from his voice. An odd combination, to be sure, but that's not what tugged at Janus.
What tugged at Janus is that Virgil wasn't lying. Oh, he was wrong, that was obvious, but being wrong isn't a lie if you don't know it's wrong.
"Oh, Virgil." He whispered, burying his rage. "No. No, I didn't know. I'm sinking us out of here and to my room, okay?"
"O-okay."
He hated how terrified Virgil was. He could feel him trembling, even if his voice didn't give it away entirely.
He sunk them both out, determined to keep Virgil safe from now on.
***
"We can't leave him alone, Remus."
Virgil had eventually fallen asleep, so Janus summoned the Duke. He needed help.
"....." Remus was still staring at Virgil's bruises- Janus had somehow convinced him to take off his shirt so he could look for and dress other injuries- with abject horror. "What..." His voice was terribly quiet. "What did they do to him?"
Janus shook his head. "Whatever it was, they have him believing we knew about it. That we would join in on it." He couldn't hide the disgust and rage in his voice now that Virgil, their Virgil, was asleep.
"I-" Janus swallowed, nervous about his next suggestion. Remus and his twin didn't get along well these days, but Janus was sure that the "Light Sides", as Roman had dubbed them, would be able to help.
"You want to get Logic and the others involved." Remus guessed, not looking away from Virgil. He sighed deeply. "I hate to admit it, but I think that's a good idea."
***
It had been a week since the three had moved towards the place the "Light" Sides resided, and multiple months since he and Remus had put the kabosh on what the Others were doing to Virgil.
It was simultaneously heartbreaking and honoring that Virgil would always look to Janus when he thought one of the "light" sides was lying to him. He was honored that Virgil trusted him so, but it broke his heart that Virgil was always doing it.
Of course, this did not escape the notice of the "light" sides, but they must have assumed that it was because Virgil did not yet trust them.
It wasn't until Virgil had been accepted and went to borrow a book from Logic- Logan- that any of them had figured it out. Janus wanted to tell them immediately, but Virgil was adamantly against it, believing that they knew about it. That they would "understand that this is just how Anxiety needs to be dealt with."
At least he didn't want the pain, Janus told himself.
But with the "light" sides agreeing with Janus and Remus, it seemed that they were finally getting through to him. He did not deserve that pain and abuse.
Their Virgil would be okay one day.
He did feel bad about the selfish joy that would blossom in his chest when Virgil still chose him (and/or Remus) to go to for nightmares. He never let that show though.
After all, even if he did have to share him now, their Virgil was safe. And he did like to see Virgil opening up to the others more. He even caught a brief scene in which he let the Prince help him put cleaning supplies away and even let Roman try to convince him that he didn't deserve the abuse.
He fell asleep with a smile on his face that night.
Yes, their Virgil was safe and would be okay one day.
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