#he seems to try and distance himself from his origin in act 5 right as he's about to win it all

[lunarspiral1127]

X-Men 97 episode 5 *SPOILERS*

The interviews

The reporter seemed nice and doesn't act like a typical controversial one. And, seeing Beast blush was adorable. But, Scott's interview was a doozy. What he said when he lashed out, well....he ain't wrong. I just thought Magneto would be the one to say those things, not Scott. Still, not wrong.

Jean/Scott/Madelyn/Logan drama

UGH! I hate love triangles that bring out so much stress and drama. And, I'm worried that Jean and Scott will break up because of the crap Mr. Sinister pulled. I wasn't expecting Jean to kiss Logan, and it was HIM who told her to go talk to Scott. Despite his feelings, he's still trying to be respectful to their relationship. But, seriously, Jean, why did you kiss him?!

Then apparently, Scott and Madelyn were checking up on each other telepathically, which I get why Jean would be mad at that. But, Madelyn during her time at the mansion WAS Jean and Scott thought that was her! They're the same! At least they were? Then again, they're in contact for a month and Jean kissed Logan once....UGH! I hate this drama. SINISTER THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

Genosha

Beautiful. It was a paradise for mutants. They deserve this. The gala looked pretty, I liked the statues of Charles and Magneto, I was not expecting the Hellfire Club to be a part of this council cause I don't trust them (especially the crap they pulled in the previous show). Lots of cameos from other characters that I couldn't keep track on, but the place was lovely. It's a shame though on what happened later on....

Nightcrawler

This lovely, precious German Christian man. 🥰 I love Nightcrawler and I'm glad to see him in this show. The original voice actor who played him in the previous show still does a great job voicing him. And, he approves of Gambit and Rogue (adopted sister) being together, so that's extra bonus points. He got a new look compared to his previous one, but I still like it. Then when the massacre happened, I was so worried that he was gonna die. Thank goodness he survived, but I hate seeing him so hurt.

Gambit/Rogue/Magneto drama

I hate this love triangle SO MUCH! We get an explanation on how Rogue and Magneto got together, and I'm questioning how old she was when they first met and whether Magneto was influencing her in a bad way. Either way, still don't like this ship. Even when them dancing looked good animated, I STILL don't like it. Plus, it still doesn't make sense cause they've been against each other in the previous show, where there was no signs of the two having that past relationship.

Anyway, I'm glad Rogue finally told Gambit the truth, and I feel so bad for him. But, he knew what she wanted and how much it hurt, even going as far as to distance himself, which he showed a lot of emotional maturity, so respect to that. But, that thing where he'll lead Genosha if Rogue stays as his "queen"? DA FUQ?! Look, I like Magneto, but I did not like that. Still wish Rogue could've gotten one of those collars to nullify her powers so that she can touch Gambit. Would've solved a lot of drama, just saying.

I was SO relieved though, that Rogue said that he was right, and rejected Magneto, but I wish she could've done that without kissing him right where Gambit can see it. Either way, it seemed like she'll choose Gambit and not stay with Magneto in Genosha, THANK GOD!

So, you think this would be the end of that love triangle right? Well, yes and no? Cause what happened afterwards hurt like hell.

Genosha Massacre

So, a giant Master Mold thing showed up, killing mutants and destroying Genosha. It was cool seeing Cable again trying to stop it and seeing his mom after so long, which is a glimmer of hope but I'll get to that later. So, many people died. Sebastian Shaw, Calypso, Banshee, Marrow, pretty sure that was Dazzler or Moira not sure, and three more that hurt me so much.

Magneto. Okay, I may not like that love triangle, but I didn't hate the guy. Dude was fighting that Sentinel with a train as a whip, that was pretty cool. And, he tried to protect the Molocks. He tried to protect Leech! He got Rogue and Gambit out of the way. What hurt the most was he told Leech not to be afraid IN GERMAN! Again, didn't want him to die. Although, I wished he could've used his magnetism to push the Molocks away like he did with Rogue and Gambit, but nope. They all died!

Leech. Precious innocent Leech. He was just a kid, man! And, he got to hang out with other mutants his age. He was making friends. Only for this to happen. And, not a lot of people talk about Leech and what happened to him. But, I liked him, and that hurt.

And, finally, the one that hurt the most.....Gambit.....Remy.

He went out like a hero. He sacrificed himself to destroy that Sentinel from killing even more mutants. "The name's Gambit, mon ami. Remember it." Well, now we know why this episode is called Remember It, cause it was Gambit's last words. And, if that wasn't enough, Rogue holding onto him, crying over his body, finally able to touch him....only to not feel him.

THAT. FREAKING. HURT. SO. BAD!!! 😭 Gambit was one of my favorite X-Men characters, and I legit was crying seeing that end. It really hurt to see that happen to him, but at least he went out saving people. However! There is that slight glimmer of hope! Cable. He tried to go back to stop this, who's to say he won't try again? Time travel shenanigans will happen and he can team up with Bishop and the rest of the X-Men to prevent this from happening. It happened many times before, it can happen here. And, maybe, just maybe, Gambit, Leech, Magneto, and all those people won't have to die. This may the denial talking, but I'll be so pissed if Gambit's dead and he Rogue won't be together for good anymore, cause that would be bullcrap.

God, how am I gonna be okay when we're getting Storm and Forge vs. The Adversary next week?! And, jeez, if things keep up like this, Storm is gonna return to the whole mansion on fire. I can't imagine what her and everyone's reactions are gonna be when they find out about Gambit and even Magneto.

Anyway, good episode. Much better than last week's. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find a way to cope from all of that.

[skeleton-mischief]

Red Serrif

I actually used to hate Fell Sans because he sexually harassed women. Bro is canonically a woman respecter what happened actually?

Anyways, I decided to make him my little meow meow instead and he's thriving

To Note: Some of these are actually canon facts but I'm putting these here for more organization

- Official height 5'5, he has sneakers after all

- He/Him

- Nihilist

- Emotional constipation is this guys middle name do NOT expect him to give good advice

- Horrible at taking care of himself, his bedroom is yucky

- Drinks Mustard

- Extremely patient with his brother, despite acting otherwise

- He blames himself for his bad dynamic with his brother, he knows that Pitch is trying to mend it but the two just don't know how to go about it

- Older brother model with Rus

- Ha has little to no filter

- Assertive, pessimistic, cynical, overthinker, lazy, distrustful, blunt, playful, easily irritated, teasing, confrontational, laid back, intuitive, and reckless

- He had a weird relationship with Gaster, and he wishes that he was able to do more before he watched Gaster lose HOPE

- Prefers pranks and knock knock jokes over puns

- Will welcome a fight, though he tends to provoke them at times since he learned that being a smug asshole shows his cool guy persona

- He has outright thrown Burgerpants out of Grillby's before

- He is a dog person but doesn't admit it to Pitch

- He curses often, but he actively tries not to in front of Pitch

- He likes action films since it's fast paced and dramatic, but he secretly loves romance films sometimes and can get sucked in a telenovela

- He doesn't admit it, but he gets jumpscared by horror films and ends up feeling embarrassed

- He'll eat practically anything and compliment someone's garbage food, but you can tell he likes something when he takes his time

- He only likes Grillby's burgers, no one can perfectly get it right

- Wore mittens underground, but he doesn't use them much when he was thrown into another alternative timeline

- He uses his magic to light his cigarettes, flicking his thumb to do so since his magic involves flame like abilities

- His magic smells of burning wood, while his magic tastes of cherry

- He has ash and yellow tinted bone due to his smoking and overall environment undergroung

- I think he'd be allergic to cats, so he always knows when Doomfanger is around

- He feels like he can't protect Pitch anymore, especially since he remains distant with Pitch, he's the one to push the distance between the two

- He wears sneakers to annoy others, especially in Snowdin since they squeak

- He has a collar he got from Alphys, so he gave it to his pet rock. Instead of it being a "tame rock" he'll take it on walks and go "down! Down boy!" As if it growled. Frisk has probably heard it do so before but no one knows if it's sentient or not

- He sweats due to his heavy jacket & stress. Because of his stress, his eye glows constantly in one eyelight

- He always wears 5 rings and uses magic to prevent them from falling off, he's basically flexing that he can use his magic for dumb reasons

- Calls Pitch any variation of Boss. "Chief, Jefe, Boss, Honcho, Boss Man, etc"

- He tried Pitch's boots once and felt alive

- Pays Grillby in socks, even if it pisses him off. Grillby doesn't seem to mind though, since he can be seen wearing them

- He got a custom jacket from Grillby for making him laugh once. This is canon since it's proven to be a copy of what Grillby wears but I decided that it would be cool if it was customized by Pitch to give him an original style

- He sells chimichangas that his brother makes instead of hot dogs

- Likes fist bumps

- Would play electric guitar if given the chance

- Has beef with Error

- wore a grey jacket, mismatched socks, Crocs, and a nasty red shirt before he got yassified

- Opens his mouth with fire in genocide battle

- He struggles expressing himself, so he uses physical touch instead

- He would make a horrible first impression

- He would call Frisk "pipsqueak"

- An angry crier, he hyperventilates and can lash out at others. He doesn't like to do that though, so he often will hide away to cry

- Would call his lover "sweetheart"

- Plays the trumpet

- A woman respecter

- Has a red tricycle with small little red flames to look cooler than Vanilla's bike

- "His room would be messier with a bunch of socks,slippers, and sneakers (all mix matched) he’d probably have a pile of broken alarm clocks that papyrus gave him (smashed them all), a coat hanger that has one gray hoodie on it." I believe this is paraphrasing the canon creator Underfella

- His rings and gold chains act as collar/leash for his gaster blaster's during the betrayal route, I still think he'd use them even outside of this

- His red eye is reflective of his corrupted emotional state, so when he uses gravity/spacetime magic, his eye flickers yellow and orange.

- Likes green martinis [specifically honeydew martinis, an appletini, or a margarita.]

- Only calls Pitch Pap or Papyrus when it's serious or when he needs to get his attention

- Somehow has an employee discount at hot topic

- Is far from a morning person, you'll see him act like a corpse and drag a blanket around while his eyes are mostly closed. He stays up gaming though so you can't feel too bad for him

- He has a mug for coffee with just the giant words "CUM" on it

- He has reading glasses but they broke and he wants to look cool. As a result he squints his eyes a lot

- Has sleep paralysis often due to his anxiety and stress

- He shares his music tastes with others but won't let others know his favorite hobbies

- He has bitten people before. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules (I do)

- He's actively fled from his brother when it's time to clean or bathe. I know this mf smells god awful while underground. I think only above ground when he's no longer needing to put his focus on survival does he start to take care of his hygiene

- Has some cracks and scars on his bone, but no one sees it because he hides this

- His soul has a dullness to it and actively was cracked at some point. He's very protective of it and he won't show it until waaaaay later

- He can't take the heat if you flirt with him back, kinda getting a little goofy and being unable to take himself seriously- especially if you're smiling and laughing with him

- Games he likes to play are more free shooter games, sandbox games such as Minecraft, and in secret he has ACNH where he makes sure his island has style and a good aesthetic

- He would be the king of socks like Vanilla but he gives his socks to Grillby instead

Closing Notes: some of these are straight up from Underfella, so I recommend going over to their account to give this popular AU some fun! I don't expect the creator to ever see my stuff, but I wanted to stay at least devoted to their creation while throwing out my own interpretations and hc's! Thank you for reading

[max-nexus]

KGTAC Analysis Pages 2229-2425

First Analysis Previous Analysis Sburb Dog Analysis Next Analysis Hell yes! KGTAC Act 2: Home-Skillet is back baby! Here is my analysis, not too much lore wise outside of me noticing some things i missed before but I'm just glad it's back!

KGTAC PAGE 2229

2229: Well this is new! The author seems to be distancing themselves from Homestuck even more. The old house in the Beta looked like Rose house in it's vibes with a dash of John's in it's exterior

HOME-SKILLET BETA PAGE 193

KGTAC PAGE 2230

2230: Ana's house didn't have an outer area like this at all. It sorta looks like she lives in some sort of city here. Although this background looks so goddamn weird, It's like the sidewalk juts upward constantly here. 2235: Ooh, interesting. The next page animation has direct parallels!

KGTAC PAGE 2236

2236: In the Beta it was "Ana: Play a jazzy saxophone refrain." The music here is actually the same as before, it's generally the same as before at the start, just a different environment. The nanny seemingly walked into another house? Then we start seeing a bigger difference. A Showtime remix starts playing as we see FRED TRY EATING HIS GREENS LMAO. This is what we in the business call A REALLY COOL ANIMATION. i kinda wish it was actually playable but that would've been a lot more work. THEN FRED STARTS DANCING. Goddamn we can just make a full Fred Wilmore sprite sheet now, can we. That was an amazing animation. well worth the wait! Now on the theory crafting side of things. The only thing that come to mind is that Fred was expecting EDMOND to be there to eat his greens. Despite as it says in Page 2118 of the holy text "Unfortunately he ran away when you were young. He was a very good dog, though" Though to be fair, we don't know what Fred considers "young". Fred might be one of those kids who considers himself from 2 years ago "young". Another weird thing is that the STRIFE text is in the opposite direction when compared to homestuck... No look! HOMESTUCK STRIFE

KGTAC STRIFE (extracted)

2237: I wonder what HIP stands for? This clearly will be incredibly important in ACT 2 DAY 5 ROLL 2 INTERMISSION 3 2244: What's with the red eye? I guess it's just to represent that he's utterly manic right now. 2245: Beautiful animation! This also gives us a better look into the living room here which is nice for anyone looking to make a recreation. (I was actually trying to make one a while back...) 2246: We see a big package (probably his computer) there. It has a watery logo. Kinda looks like a surfboard on a wave? 2247: There's Photochat! 2248: Oh that's a different box, also it's published/made by SKYACOM. Interesting... 2252: Ok so we know that logo belongs to a company called GREENROOM now (Like, is this a reference to Doc Scratch? His room was green, i guess it could also be the felt manor back in Homestuck's Act 3 Intermission. Could also be nothing.), also we now see the desktop! Interesting it says INDEX for the home button, we also now have the EXACT TIME which is 5:30 PM, this will be useful for setting up a timeline! (Not that I'd really bother doing that right now.)

KGTAC PAGE 2253

Homestuck Page 6

2253: Wait what the hell! Random Act 1 Cursor Appearance? This sorta popped up in Act 1 of Homestuck due to the fact that Homestuck was originally designed to be made entirely in flash. It's interesting that it's showing up here. Maybe it means something, maybe Cole didn't want to animate Fred grabbing Photochat then putting it into the pc. 2255: Hm he's been to a library, maybe there is some credence to him being of the mind aspect (/j) 2264: Ah! I can't believe Cole was so bold to do it so early to kill off such a major character so early, to the forgetful ones in the audience back in my analysis of the FLOPPY DECK (my beloved) i talked about the fact there are only 3 points on the floppy deck, when the BETA Floppy deck had 4 points. I made a crackpot theory that one of the character's would die in Home-Skillet as a big event early on in the story. And well, here we have it folks! Fred is dead, dead dead, deadity dead dead, dead. What a bold move. his death moved me to tears. KGTAC RELEASE

2265: Sweet! Just putting this to note but the pages for this day's of updates (2/3/24) weren't released all at once, we had to wait like an hour when Photochat was downloading. The images were actually uploaded before this and i probably saw them before most because i decided to check because i noticed some pages were being released 1 at a time. Just putting this for historical reasons for anyone reading this in the far future in the [S] END OF ACT 2 flash when Nan unites everyone for the big fight against LORD HUSSIE (/j, man I'm including a lot of jokes in this one) because this small detail would probably be forgotten a few years from now. Heck, I'd probably forget it. 2276: LMAO 2279: Farty Gas, an excellent choice of a name good sir (Lol) 2285: Holy heck, Fred says frick! Also i love the fact he wrote this as if it were a letter, even ending it with a "Take Care" Zimodo in the comment section summarized it best. MEME

SIDENOTE 1: I just noticed… For some reason there's barely any "NAME: DO STUFF" in the ENTIRETY of Home-Skillet. Its mainly just DO STUFF, like seriously. it's not set up like a standard Homestuck command at all. Even KGTAC ACT 1 + INTERMISSION did that when a character was doing stuff. It wouldn't even be forced. Like in pg 2236 it could've been "[S] Ana: Play the sax in triumph." but it's just not? Like before the HIATUS, there was like 1 use, now its like half-n-half and I'm not sure if this is intentional or accidental. Even worse, we started seeing a lot of the standard Homestuck command structure starting February, not before... so even after the Hiatus the command structure didn't include names. Is it because Ana and Fred are talking to each other to prevent confusion or is there some deeper reason... PRE HIATUS

FEBRUARY FOR SOME REASON

2295: Death theory… (Specifically, DC can't enter into his session as his FLOPPY DECK, seemingly died in a valiant battle against time. This is incredibly bad for when you're playing the game that kills you when you don't play it. Now of course this is assuming that HomeSkillet is operating under the idea that the meteors are like destined to hit you and not that the games summon the meteors (I personally don't understand why people think that, was that ever confirmed or is that just popular fanon) But overall, this likely doesn't bode well for DC) 2303: ARG WARNING, DEAR GOD I HAVE TO SOLVE A MYSTERY NOW THESE ARE IMAGES… or not It looks like BrainFuck so uh… Yeah i don't think it means anything big (aka i don't know how i'd even transcribe the text into a working program! Also thinking about it, this might be the item duplication thing i joked about earlier, y'know with the fact that if items are just code on a floppy disc, whats preventing people from copying that floppy. Or in this case putting something on the floppy disc to get an item. Unknown: Crosshair activated towards sector 121 09

newone: Crosshair activated towards sector head_port 1 fuck

(Might actually be helga port 1?) We can guess that these are the coordinates for the meteors, for obvious reasons. And somehow P(ee)P(ee) did something to affect these coordinates. Very interesting. 2311: Light aspect /j 2326: Yep, it's green. Took you awhile farty-gas. It took you page 28 of the BETA to do that. 2332: Reference to Poltergeist 1982, Just noting this because i looked it up. 2335: Welp, that's confirmation. Edmond is dead, Grandma just sorta hid the fact because he probably was 5 at the time. 2359: YES! NO SYLLADEX GAMING! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE A SBURBVENTURE WHERE A CHARACTER DOESN'T HAVE A SYLLADEX. (To the point I've always imagined making a character for one that doesn't have one, or has some notable issue preventing them from using it fully.) 2390: Music is the same, the art is different when compared to the BETA version KGTAC ACT 2 2390

Home-Skillet BETA PAGE 159

2410: If you don't want to waste time by leaving things behind, try carrying them Doofus. Too big? That's what the FLOPPY DECK is for Farty Gas. 2411: Interestingly enough, the image for the timer (381.gif) is in the wrong order if we'd line up these images as if they come in 1 after the other. As if it was meant to be put in a different order. Presumably after page 2404 (Because that's 380.gif) SIDENOTE 2: there is a unused image here! I guess to improve the pacing this got cut out last minute. 376.GIF

2420: I'm just going to show my comment here

2425: Fun fact, i saw this image like 20 seconds before the page went up, because ever since the loading screen, i've been checking for that sort of stuff. It looks like we are about to hit an [S] Page. SIDENOTE 3: The Saxophone was always there lmao, i can't believe i missed it, it was even referenced in the text of 2186. I guess you miss stuff when you end up analyzing nearly 100 pages worth of content while trying to balance 6 college classes at the same time.

SIDENOTE 4: These have all been pretty good panels so far, I love all the work that's been put into them, with all these details, especially early on when Cole went and animated the runs there.

So that's the end of the analysis, I'd like to thank everyone here, I should do a re-reading of Home-Skillet to see what I've forgotten. I hope you enjoy and lets see what comes next! Sorry that it took so long, i wasn't exactly putting in tons of work to get this out soon. There's no rush. Y'know.

Nope, In my usual fashion, Digging up one thing digs up another. And I've discovered CONSTUCK. An April fools joke made in 2022 that i missed which is a "KGTAC RELEASE" with Act 1 just being the "Beta" https://mspfa.com/?s=27317&p=1490 1: Ah yes, Karkat 2: A general thing i've noticed is that it looks like each panel was drawn by a different person. 9: What an amazing reboot. KGTAC DISCORD GOES TO A CONVENTION PAGE 52

CONSTUCK PAGE 12

12: Holy **** Lois! KGTAC Server goes to a convention? Honestly, i had to dig a bit to figure out this is commentary on it as i never read this. The turnaround here is insane tbh looking into it, March 25th the public apology comes out, March 29th the commentary on it on it comes out as an April fools joke. Mildly impressed. Though i can't help but feel bad for the people behind KGTAC Server goes to a convention here being referenced like this. Personally speaking I'd keel over and die here, though to be fair it just takes me remembering something stupid i did a decade ago to make that happen. 13:Lmao "astrosized into out" 28: Now for the reason why I'm looking at this. FRED WILMORE STRIKES AGAIN 30: Helga? I can't remember who that is… also Nan's here and her dialog implies she's writing Home-Skillet. Maybe lore important, maybe the author is just speaking through Nan as some extra commentary on KGTAC Discord goes to a convention. 31: Nan is a Muse of Time? Neat! 32: And now for the main reason im here… TO BE CONTINUED… This if it's not just a silly April fools joke draws a direct connection between ACT 1 and ACT 2 of KGTAC. It's not much to go off of due to it's dubious canonicity but we already know MSPFA exists in the actual comic itself thanks to mspa reader to cite a more recent example and also NAN went on MSPFA in the flash [S] It was the ideas it inspired (and also uh, Act 1 takes place in what could be considered Earth, modern day. So MSPFA existing makes sense) Thanks to these facts it means that it's not impossible this is a sign of things to come, that perhaps we see how ACT 2: Home-Skillet fits into ACT 1: Karkat goes to a Convention

And now this is the end.

Also while looking i found some unlisted pages! read em if ya want! https://mspfa.com/?s=27317&p=1057 https://mspfa.com/?s=27317&p=822

Now this is REALLY the end, No PSYCHE X3 Combo's here….

See! it's just the end. Thanks for reading my analysis, Here's to the next one. I'm also less busy as of late so i should be able to get these out more frequently than when KGTAC took a break before, so i don't think i have to change the general format of this series. 1 MONTH LATER....

Me in 3/17/24 Land here. Man this took a while, as i said before, i wasn't making this a high priority because I'm working on a MSPFA called CHAINED + 4 college classes gives me time only if i make time for it. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed this analysis, if you noticed something i didn't, have any questions, or your own theories. I'd like to here em, my asks are open!

[welcometogrouchland]

Words cannot express how much I love the Gloucester brothers from King Lear

[visionofhope04]

Hii I was lowkey wondering if you would do something maybe like a one shot of neglected where reader is older (18-20) and dipped out of the house and became a singer and one of her songs basically exposed them for how they treated reader and in like an interview she full on tells them how she doesn’t even talk to them and like only Jason

This is literally perfect. I love this idea! I was planning on making a singer batsis reader anyway so here you go! I'll be making this part 4 of the series instead of a one shot. There’s a bit of angst. Btw, thanks so much for your support everyone! I'm glad you enjoy this series! Feel free to request anything you'd like besides smut as well!

This is the longest thing I have ever written so there will be a part 5. I planned on this being the last part but it's just so much. It’s not proofread and neither are all of the other parts because I post at 1 am most of the time lol. Hope you like it!

f/n = friend name

Y/G/N = your group name

N/S = news station

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Current) Part 5

---

You were sick of it. Sick of how even after confronting them about how you felt and almost dying because of it, they still neglected you. You couldn't wait to move out at the age of 18, even if it proved to be a struggle. You had taken mini jobs since you turned 15 and saved up since then. You just couldn't see them anymore as it would remind you of how they treated you that day at that hospital. None of them apologized either. They just pretended it never happened and continued to ignore you. The media had a field day with speculation of what had happened but eventually stopped because Bruce had claimed it was “just a bad case of the flu” which they believed.

Jason was always the only one that would talk to you. He was the only one that actually cared enough to make sure you were taking proper care of yourself and that you wouldn't have a repeat of what happened. He took you places, spent time with you and gave you advice. You even had a tradition where you'd always meet up at the manor's library every week at the same time that same day every week and just have a mini book club together. He always made time for you and never bailed on you.

So on your 18th birthday, he helped you move out. You managed to rent a small apartment in Star City with the money you had saved up. It wasn’t that close to the manor which was a good thing. The neighborhood wasn’t good but it wasn’t as bad as Gotham’s neighborhoods so you would be fine. You could handle yourself with your assassin training if needed. You also managed to get hired at a cafe which was about a five minutes walking distance from your apartment.

It had taken a while but eventually, you had packed all of your belongings into color coded containers and moved them into Jason’s car with his help. You didn’t say goodbye to anyone as you had no friends to say bye to and you knew that your so called “family” couldn’t care less about what you did with your life. ‘This is it, hopefully the last time I’ll ever be near this place.’ You thought. You didn’t plan on stepping foot in Gotham ever again after you left. It would bring back too many memories you prefer to keep buried away deep inside your mind.

The car ride to Star City was entertaining. You and Jason conversed the whole time, telling jokes and listening to his funny tales with the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually, a song you both loved came on and you both started yell-singing along to the lyrics. You wished those moments could be permanent. You were both so carefree and nothing else mattered besides having fun and enjoying yourselves.

You now stood in the doorway of your new apartment, admiring your new home. Jason and yourself had just finished unpacking all of your belongings. You really liked how it looked and thought you both did an amazing job at designing the place perfectly according to your style. Jason, unfortunately, had to leave in order to avoid raising suspicions. Once you both said your byes, he left you to your apartment.

Jason drove back home in silence. He hated to admit it but he would miss you dearly. You were always there for him and helped him with anything. You tried your best to always comfort him and make him feel better on his darkest days and it would always work. Somehow you seemed to always have the right words to say or knew exactly what to do to help him. Out of everyone he was closest to you. He assumed it was because he could relate to you the most. More so how you felt. He’d felt like the black sheep of the family before you came, and he was. When you came, you took that role from him. It pained him to see how much their insults would affect you, even if you were good at hiding it. He could just tell.

Jason made it back to the manor after a while and went straight to the library. He didn't want to deal with the others. After the whole hospital situation, he'd never really bother interacting with them. He hated how they treated you as if you didn’t exist and hated how much pain they had caused you and that they didn’t even care. He guessed that they'd probably be doing something for Damian's birthday and forgot that you were his twin. They probably couldn’t even remember that Damian had a twin.

He made it to the library and pulled out one of his favorite books. He’d read it so many times you’d often joke that he could probably recite the whole book by heart at this point. Sitting down in a chair, he started to read. However, he couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about what it would’ve been like if they treated you how they did Damian. The both of you were Bruce’s real children. You both even looked like clones of him! At first, Jason thought you would’ve been the favorite twin due to your personality. Even though you were twins, your personalities were polar opposites. You even refused to kill! You were trained by the League so why didn’t you kill as Damian did?

Jason knew you would benefit them greatly if you joined. You had self control, didn’t kill, could act perfectly, lie perfectly, do well under pressure, and not to mention your skills. Being raised by the League may have been torture, but you managed to gain incredible skills out of it. You could take on at least ten guys who doubled you in size and beat them within five minutes. You even bested Damian in spars and he was supposedly dubbed the “better twin” by Talia, so why hadn’t they let you join their nightly crusades like they had let Damian when the both of you first arrived?

Damian passed by your room but noticed something was off. He decided to take a look. He twisted the doorknob and pushed. The room which was once occupied by you now looked extremely plain and bare, stripped of all of its accessories. The only things left were the bed itself, multiple dressers, and a vanity. It looked as if it had been vacant the whole time. It might as well have been. Damian couldn’t really remember what it had looked like since he’s never paid much mind to it but he could tell there was a drastic difference. He knew that you disliked just leaving your room plain unlike himself and wanted at least something to make it look less boring.

He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Had you finally been kicked out by Bruce? Did you get shipped off to a boarding school like he had been suggesting to your father for years? He decided to go ask. He exited the room and closed the door behind him, taking off for Bruce’s office. Walking down the hall, he suddenly remembered that he had seen you leave with Jason. This meant that you were not at a boarding school like he had originally thought. But then why was your room vacant?

Instead of going to see Bruce, he decided to go see Jason and bring up the matter with him instead. He changed directions and headed to the library where he knew he’d find Jason. It was no secret that Jason was a book worm so Damian had a fifty percent chance of finding him there.

He entered the library and was immediately greeted with the sight of Jason sitting comfortably on a chair, legs crossed with a book opened in his hands. Jason didn’t bother to look up from his book as he spoke.

“What do you want Demon Spawn?”

“I’ve come to obtain the whereabouts of my sister.”

“You mean my sister?”

“She’s not your sister!” Damian exclaimed.

“Well I act more like a brother than you do.”

“Where is Y/N? Her whole room is bare.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

“Just tell me, you imbecile!” Damian said, growing increasingly frustrated by Jason’s blunt answers.

“She’s not here.”

“Then where is she?”

“Not here.”

“Just tell me already Todd, I have no time for your foolish games!”

“She moved out.” Jason said, giving in.

“What?! Where.” Damian demanded.

“Why would I tell you?”

“Because I demand to know!”

“Okay and?”

“Tell me!”

“No.”

“Why not!”

“Because you don’t even care.”

“And you do?”

“Yes, I actually do Damian! I’m there for her when she needs me the most. I’m there for her while she’s watching you live the perfect life that she’s just a background character in! While you and the others ignore that she even exists! I’m there for her when she breaks down and has panic attacks! And what were you all doing to try and help her? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!” Jason snapped.

“Y/N’s fine, I know my twin!” Damian screamed.

“Do you even know what her favorite color is?” Jason questioned in a harsh tone.

“...” Was Damian’s reply.

“Exactly! You don’t! You and the others have never cared about her, so why all of a sudden do you care now? You don’t know anything about her so don’t act like you do!” Jason then stood up and walked out of the room in a fit of rage.

Damian stood there, shocked. Had Jason just refused to answer his question? He was about to follow him but decided against it. Why was Damian going to chase Jason down just for her? She was just an annoyance, a mistake, imperfect. He had been wanting to get rid of her for so long, so why doesn’t he feel relieved? Why does he feel guilty? He decided to stop dwelling on it and get on with life. He figured it would happen eventually if it hadn’t happened then.

---

It had been a year since that day. The day you left your old life behind and started a new life, a better one. One where you weren’t constantly ignored. One where you actually had more than one person care about you. Instead of seeing yourself as a failure and disappointment, you now saw yourself as an amazing person (which you always were). You had been going to a community college in Star City. You made many friends there and started up a music career with three of them.

Their names were f/n, f/n and f/n. You all started off by taking random gigs anywhere you could. You performed covers of songs and would receive standing ovations all the time. Seeing as your group was well liked, you decided to write and produce your own songs. At the age of 19, Y/G/N released their first album. It went viral within a day and everyone was talking about it. After a week, several articles were posted, praising your work. News Stations talked about all the records Y/G/N managed to break. People started to stream it like crazy, and you couldn’t be happier with all the positive feedback you were receiving.

You had been a Wayne once, meaning you had experience in dealing with the media. Since you had already been used to it, you knew you’d all eventually be invited to interviews. So, when you had received an email stating how N/S wanted a one on one interview with you, you weren’t sure how to feel. You weren’t looking forward to interviews with your whole group, let alone one where you would be alone. You knew how unfiltered interviewers could be and didn’t feel comfortable with it.

However, you decided it would be best to go. So here you were, sitting in front of the interviewer in an uncomfortable chair preparing for the interview to start. You had somehow managed to keep a smile plastered on your face the entire time while you were a nervous wreck on the inside. You hoped none of the questions would be sexist as they usually were towards women. However, you had no more time to think about that. You heard clicking, signaling that you were about to go live. Once you heard the last click, you knew you were live and the interview had begun.

“Hello everyone, welcome back to N/S. My name is Jerald Tangleberry and I’m here today with songwriter, singer, and celebrity, Y/N Wayne! How are you?”

You waved to the camera and then answered, “Hello everyone! I’m doing good, how about you?”

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking! So by now I’d assume everyone knows that you’ve released an album with your group. How does it feel to gain more fame?”

“It doesn’t feel any different. Fame wasn’t our goal when we released the album. It was to express ourselves.”

“Mhm, well Ms. Wayne, what inspired you to write songs?”

“Well we know people may be in a tough spot in their life right now and want them to know they aren’t alone.”

“That’s so true. Some fans have been speculating that every member has three songs that specifically relate to them since there are twelve songs in total and three of the songs have the same group member as the introduction part of the song. Is this true?”

“Yes, it is true.”

“So all three of your songs relate to family issues of some sort. Is that hinting that you have family issues?”

“Yes, actually. My family isn’t the best. They ignored me all the time, even when they weren't busy. The only person who didn’t was Jason.”

“You’re saying it in the past tense.”

“I moved out about a year ago. When I was around 14, I suffered from anorexia. My family would always ignore me since they were either busy doing work or hanging out with each other. The only family member that acknowledged me was Jason. I assumed it was because there was something wrong with me. I started to hate myself so much to the point of starvation. One day, I passed out right before a gala and my oldest brother Dick found me passed out on the floor. They took me to the hospital and when I woke up, Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Damian started fussing about how I’d ruin their image if the media knew what actually happened. They started to yell at me and told me how I was a useless burden. I started to have a panic attack so I kicked them out. Jason stayed behind with me and comforted me. Ever since then I made a planed to save enough money so I could move out when I turned 18, which I did.”

“Oh, wow. So Jason was the only one who interacted with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Looks like the Wayne family isn’t as perfect as they seem.”

“No family is actually perfect.”

“Did your family try contacting you at all after they found out about Y/G/N?”

“Not yet. They’re probably too busy or don’t care.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright, I got over it. What’s the next question.”

“Oh-” He cleared his throat and continued the interview. (So basically I don’t wanna bore you all lol)

---

Jason had woken up late into the afternoon that day. Patrol that morning had exhausted him. There was a huge breakout at Arkham they had assisted with. They successfully locked up every escapee, so today, Jason just wanted to relax until it would be time for patrol again. Even though he was exhausted, he knew he couldn’t take a break. The others wouldn’t and it would be unfair to them if he did.

He headed over to his couch with his phone and a bowl of popcorn in hand, ready to watch random movies the entirety of the day. He set down his phone on the coffee tables and grabbed the TV remote. When he turned on the TV, he almost dropped the popcorn and remote. You were sitting on a chair, giving an award winning smile while you politely answered the man’s questions. He was baffled. He didn’t know why you were being interviewed, let alone on TV at all! You made it clear you didn’t want to have any relations with your family any longer and you couldn’t stand publicity, so what were you doing?

He placed the bowl down and snatched his phone off the table. Unlocking his phone, he quickly dialed your phone number. However, he realized that the interview was live and that he would be interrupting it if he called you then. Deciding to wait, he placed his phone back down, picked up the bowl, and then got comfortable.

---

Tag list: @fake-id-69 @pepelachanel @loxbbg @what-0-life @yoongi-holland @omnivorousfangirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @sexysamsungl @iceddonuts @buginetye @portrait-ninja @azazel-nyx @alculai

[safetyrat]

Ponk did a banger improvised speech in his stream yesterday (“Dream SMP---> Master Oogway shrine pt.93”), about 15 minutes in.

And I decided, as you do when your fave only feeds you crumbs of roleplay, to write a bit analyzing it (From this point on it’s all /rp)!!

Ponk starts by looking down the L’manburg crater and talking about the cycle of conflicts on the server. As one of the original eight members on the SMP he has been apart of most of it, even if sometimes neutral and from an outside perspective. Different to characters like Technoblade, he doesn’t view countries or governments as the root of said conflicts. Instead, it’s something more fundamental, basic - it’s civilization:

“Civilization is just a brutal cycle of destruction and corruption”

Before L’manburg, before any kind of power structure, there have been conflicts. The disc war, Ponks lemon trees burning - the only thing as constant as conflict on the Dream SMP is people living together in an area, trying to make it work.

“Out of corruption, friendship... you know what is born? New civilizations. And you know what happens in civilizations? Conflict”

This isn’t Ponk criticizing the concept of civilization, however. Ponk doesn’t distance himself from people in the way Techno or maybe Hbomb does, he still has attachments, his trees, pets, people, things he cares (or cared) about. Many of his builds are close to the main area. Ponk is a social character, I don’t see a reason to assume otherwise. He doesn’t criticize civilizations in general, but the ones present on the SMP right now. Because in Ponks eyes, there is only on leader fit to run.

“You see, the only man, who could run a civilization, died fighting for a civilization that he took under his wing”, Ponk says, “and he lays rest over there”

When Ponk zoomed onto Schlatts grave, it caught me off guard at first.

But it makes sense. I don’t see many people talking about it, but there was a time where Ponk was the only person on Schlatts side. He entered a trade deal with Manberg and became a loyal supporter of Schlatt. During that time there was a plotline surrounding the building of the “Manburg Hotel” – that was Ponks job. After Tubbo died during the festival he was the only builder left in Manburg.

Ponk never got to finish the hotel, he had a falling out with Schlatt about how he refused to get treated for his declining health, but the first floor and scaffolding outline stood strong until November 16th. He joined Pogtopia to be their doctor instead, being the last person to switch sides iirc, but having an argument because of Schlatts health? The thing that later caused his death? That sounds like an argument that you would have with somebody you care about. Ponk cared about Schlatt, and still supports him as a ruler after his death. There’s Fund who keeps Schlatts sword as an heirloom, and there’s Jack Manifold who takes him as an idol to “be worse”, but unapologetically supporting Schlatts leadership postmortem is special to Ponk and very fascinating to me.

Bringing back the cycle of conflict, the Pogtopia vs. Manburg war is not exempt from that. Something being part of a cycle implies that it ends.

“Nothing lasts forever”

Ponk has seen proof of that way too many times, being an original member. He watched Lemon City burn, L’manburg fall, the Community House explode, hell he was close to killing the oldest pet on the server!

“I’m sure Dream will get out of prison”, Ponk says, in a tone that is almost offhand. He is sure of it; Dream can’t be stuck in prison forever on a server in which the concept of “forever” doesn’t exist.

This is brought up when Ponk talks about the egg, which he also views as only one of the conflicts in the cycle.

“What happens after the egg? Sure, the egg could be a common enemy, or a common friend, chat. But when its gone, for things never stay the same?”

This makes him acting indifferent towards the egg feel in character. He isn’t immune to the egg in the way Tommy is for sure; he hears its voice, and it influences him to do things like almost killing Fran. But he still takes it less seriously than most, talking very casually with it (“shut yo ass up, you stupid egg”) for example. If it follows the patterns of past conflicts there is very little reason to be afraid of it, it will pass like every other conflict.

Except, Ponk might see one difference when it comes the egg: It is bigger.

“Maybe one day this conflict will get so large, that we’re pushed out of this land and into a new one”

cc!Ponk talked about how, since this bit was improvised, he doesn’t know if any of what he predicts ends up being canon in future. This still seems like a bit of foreshadowing for a long-theorized world reset after the Minecraft 1.17 update.

The update is said to come out in the summer of this year, so if the reason for the reset is really the egg like c!Ponk speculates, it’s going to be a long arc. Which the arc has been so far too to be fair, it has always had a long setup and in general a slow burn vibe. But if the egg actually continues to be an issue for another 4-5 months, the vines are going to grow so much that there won’t be a realistic way to clean them up fast, so moving would make a lot of sense.

Another option is that the SMP ends in 2-3 months instead and the content creator take a break for a month or too before creating the new world.

All of this is just speculation based on a line of Ponks that he said might not mean anything, so there is still a large chance that there will be other conflicts after the egg.

tldr: Ponk can improvise incredibly cool speeches that illustrate his opinions on how civilization causes conflict and how he believes Schlatt was the only fit ruler. It might also foreshadow that the egg will cause a server reset.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅳ Vol.2 Shuu VS Ruki [TRACK 3]

Original title: 不器用な男

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅳ Vol.2 Shuu VS Ruki [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke & Takahiro Sakurai

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

TRACK 3: AN AWKWARD GUY (13:31 - 21:44)

*Crumble crumble*

Ruki: …It calmed down.

You nod. 

Ruki:  You’re not hurt, are you?

You shake your head. 

Ruki: Good. While unconscious, you would only be a burden. 

You wonder why that happened. 

Ruki: Haah… The wall collapsed. I assume it was caused by the blast of energy from destroying the door earlier. It has completely blocked off the path. If Sakamaki Shuu had not pushed you away earlier, you would be flattened underneath the rubble right now. 

You ask where Shuu is. 

Ruki: Unfortunately for you, I can’t spot him anywhere. Either he is stuck at the other side, or perhaps…

Your face goes pale.

Ruki: ーー Oi! Sakamaki Shuu! You’re over there, aren’t you? …At least give us an answer!

It remains quiet.

Ruki: No response, huh? …Did he get crushed? 

You start to panic.

Ruki: Don’t make a fuss. I was only making a snide remark. You really think this would be enough to kill a Vampire? Furthermore, right before the wall collapsed, he was standing in a position where it would have been possible to dodge.

You sigh in relief. 

Ruki: I am positive he is on the other side. Someone who wields such strong powers should easily be able to blast his way through the rubble. ーー That being said, what could he be up to? 

You suddenly perk your head. 

Ruki: What? Do you have an idea?

You explain. 

Ruki: He seemed to be in pain? Don’t tell me…Che. Seems like he does not have full control over his newfound powers just yet. 

You ask Ruki what he means.

Ruki: I fear that he might get swallowed by his own overwhelming powers and go rampant. By using his powers, he might lose himself in the process. If he were to give in to his Vampire instincts, he will most likely become blinded by the thirst for blood. So much so, he would suck you dry in an instant. 

You tilt your head to the side.

Ruki: I thought something was off back inside the prison cell. His decision to suck from you as a means of treating your wounds was a precautionary means to get rid of the scent of blood. 

I assume that he is trying to calm himself down on the other side, using this as a great opportunity to keep his distance from you. Still, for the guy who inherited that man’s magic to be this much of a mess…Why did Karlheinz-sama decide to grant him those powers…? 

*Rumble*

Ruki: …! Either way, we should get away from here before the next collapse occurs.

You seem worried about Shuu. 

Ruki: Despite all his flaws, he’s still the Sakamaki household’s eldest son. I am sure he will be able to make it out by himself. 

You remain hesitant. 

Ruki: You refuse to budge, huh? We won’t gain anything from staying heー

You nod and start looking for a way to get to the other side. 

Ruki: …! …Che. I suppose I have no other choice.

He walks up to you and grabs hold of your shoulder.

*Rustle*

Ruki: Do you truly believe that you have any right to oppose me? This is an order. Follow me. If you choose to fight back, I will teach you a lesson right here, right now. Or are you perhaps acting defiant on purpose because you want me to treat you harshly? 

You deny his statement. 

Ruki: Hah. You should hear yourself talk. As if I haven’t noticed that greedy look in your eyes. 

*Rustle*

Ruki: How shameless…To think you want to be punished that badly. Every single cell of your body bent to my will as you are left completely numb both physically and mentally. By the time I’m done with you, I suppose you will not even have the strength left to gasp in pain.

You try to escape his grip. 

Ruki: Do you think that you will be able to get away by putting up a fight? Hah. You’re about as smart as you’d expect from livestock then. If you fear me, then behave and kneel down in front of me! …Ah. I can smell blood. 

*Rustle*

Ruki: Your shoulder is bleeding. Did you hurt yourself when the wall crumbled earlier? 

You avert your gaze. 

Ruki: I suppose your struggling opened the wound. …If you were wounded, you should have told me earlier. …Keep still. 

*Rustle rustle*

Ruki: Did you not hear? I told you to keep still. It makes tearing your clothes more difficult. Unless you want me to accidentally scratch you instead. 

You stop resisting. 

Ruki: …Heh. 

*RIIIIIP*

Ruki: Right here, huh? Mmh…

*Sluuuurp*

You wince in pain. 

Ruki: It’s a wound, of course it hurts. You should endure this much as your punishment for not informing me of your injuries. 

You seem confused.

Ruki: Do you not understand what I’m doing? …Haah. Once a dunce, always a dunce, I suppose…Hah. Just assume that I’m teaching you a lesson for ignoring my orders earlier. I can only assume it will hurt quite a bit, but brace yourself. 

*Rustle* 

Ruki: Hah…You only have your own slow-witted self to blame. Now don’t move…Mmh. 

*Sluuurp*

Ruki: Nn…Stop crying out every five seconds. It makes my job harder. Ahー Being bitten gives you intense pleasure, doesn’t it? In that case, I should simply overpower that sensation with a stronger pain… 

Ruki bites you harder.

*Sluuuurp*

Ruki: Mmh…Nn…

*Sluuuurp*

Ruki: Nnh…What’s wrong? Unlike before, you seem to be enjoying this quite a bit? Just drown in the feeling then. I don’t mind treating you gently for just a bit. 

*Sluuuurp*

Ruki: Nn…Hah. This will do. The red swelling has gone down. 

You ask if he did that to treat your injury. 

Ruki: What else would my intention have been? I’m the one responsible for opening the wound because I threatened you, remember? Consider us even again now. 

You thank him. 

Ruki: I don't recall asking for your gratitude. More importantly, let’s move away from here. You haven’t forgotten, have you? We may have successfully made it out of the cell, but we are still within Kino’s grasp. I don’t know what exactly he’s after, but you’re a likely target.

Your eyes widen in surprise. 

Ruki: You still don’t realize your own position as Eve? If something were to happen to you, it would cause issues for the entire Demon World. I’m sure you have plenty on your mind, but for now, you should prioritize escaping this place. 

You nod.

Ruki: I’m glad you have a minimal sense of understanding at least. …Let’s go. I doubt you can see very well in the dark? Keep a firm grip on my hand so you don’t hurt yourself unnecessarily again. Understood?

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[radiosandrecordings]

Okay, at risk of sounding like I’ve emerged from Sherlock forums like a caveman thawed from ice (Look I was 8 in 2010 I didn’t know!) I wanna talk about how in TMA tea legitimately is a stand-in for love/comfort. Specifically by looking at it in episodes 45, 81, 122, the season 5 trailer, and 186.

So 45 is the first time we hear about Martin’s whole tea thing. He comes into Jon’s office to ask if he wants tea, and this is quickly dismissed by the Oh God Jon Are You Stalking Tim? Thing but I think it needs to be mentioned because that’s the start of it all. And it recurs through S2, Martin’s constant worry and doting, both in recording and presumably off recording too, enough that it’s remarked on by other characters. He’s derided for it, Tim in 65 saying “Martin just wants a tea party” when expressing how he feels no one in the Institute cares about him, and in 110 Basira says “Look, Martin. I know you care. I know you do. But caring isn’t enough. You can’t just stand next to someone with a cup of tea and hope everything’s gonna be all right.” It seems to be something he himself is embarrassed about as well, “What, sat around drinking tea until the world ends?! Or, you know, it doesn’t. We hope.” in 116 and then again in 117 with “Anyway, I guess I’m just sick of sitting on my hands drinking tea and hoping everyone’s okay.”

So cut to season 3, 81, when Georgie comes home and Jon immediately offers to make her tea. This is something, to the listener’s knowldge, he has never done before. He feels guilty for taking up her time and home (see: cleaning the kitchen) and wants to do something that he’s picked up, consciously or unconsciously, that means ‘Here is something to show I care about you, an act of service and a gift in one. I do this for you because I cannot speak the words I wish to convey myself, so I give you this, which gives the reassurance and comfort that you need’

And she just dismisses him out of hand! Because at one stage (S4 Q&A I believe?) Jonny talks about how he is trying to explore a certain specific dynamic between each set of characters when it comes to their relationships to each other, and I at least like to think of Jon’s relationship with Georgie as being about a lack of information and context, and that’s what created the rift between them, imperfect information being used as a basis for judgement. So here she displays this by just not having the context for what tea means to Jon. She hasn’t seen him in years, hasn’t met Martin yet, has no idea that the reason Jon extends her that offer is as an olive branch, an ‘I care about you’, because that’s what Martin has taught Jon it means. I think that one little line in that first interaction between them we hear is a beautiful little microcosm for how their relationship continues. Jon reaches out to Georgie for connection, but she just doesn’t understand his world. She loves Melanie because Melanie is different to Jon, not as deeply embroiled, she can get out, she can be ‘saved’. Wheras she does not have the knowledge we have, about how the last two years for Jon have been hell, so she just sees someone trying to drag her down and, wisely with the information she has but horrifyingly with the information we have, says ‘No, for my own health I am staying away from this’. 

And then we have 122, in which Jon wakes up from being literally dead, and Basira offers him water. Cold, clinical, impersonal water from the hallway of a hospital. It's practical, clears his throat, and it’s exactly like how Basira treats him. Nothing special, no thought gone into it beyond ‘What is the tactically right thing to do here?’ because the whole of S4 is about Basira showing a startling lack of empathy for Jon, her former frien- Well. Person she is friendly towards. She has branded him as a monster, and thus he gets treated as such. No compassion for those we’ve slapped the label of ‘Evil’ on. And of course, she doesn’t get the subtext, because her whole thing is despite being incredibly intelligent, she has a habit of taking things at face value because she trusted Daisy’s judgement of people and never looked further into it, lest that make her uncomfortable with her actions, and this is exactly what she proceeds to do with Jon. Keep him at a distance. Don’t look in his eyes, lest you see something you recognise in there. And he calls after her, asking that, actually, would she be able to get tea? And she doesn't hear him. She puts a lot of effort into never hearing him. 

But what else had he done after waking up? Oh yeah. He asks “Where’s Martin?”, with such confusion because he cannot imagine a world where someone he took for granted previously isn’t there to offer him reassurance. He says it himself, “Honestly, I’m surprised Martin isn’t –” He’s surprised! And he wants him there. He wants him to be there so badly, just like he isn’t for the entire rest of the season. So he asks for the thing that has meant comfort and kindness to him in his place. And, because Martin is no longer there, he doesn’t get it.

And in the S5 trailer we have this whole thing spelt out for us! Martin brings Jon tea in the safehouse and well, it ain't fuckin tea! And so Jon says 'You can't trust comfort' because that's what tea has always been for him, that steady thing throughout, comfort that he can no longer have. The world is ruined and now tea isn’t even safe from corruption, twisted into something meant to inspire fear in them, a symbol turned on it’s head. And then, 162 Martin finds some left over, under the sink, and that's what they take to the apocalypse. That one last piece of comfort that Jon finds in Martin, in his intelligence and his perseverance and kindness and hope. In his unwavering ability to care, if not for, then about Jon.

... But if we’re tackling ‘Tea’ as a whole we have to divert from the beautiful love story a little and talk about 186, and tea, and trauma. Tea has always been Martin’s thing, so it makes sense it would slip neatly into his backstory. His mother, cold and dismissive and uncaring, requested tea whenever she didn’t want to have to deal with him. It was a way to give him a task, make him feel useful, and a way to get him to leave the room. This is why he began to bring Jon tea. Jon was, unfortunately, a bit like his mother. Someone whom he wanted to please, but didn’t seem to have the time of day for him. So he makes them both tea, because Martin’s mother used it to dismiss him, and then when he tries to apply the same tactic he’s had drilled into him to Jon, Jon originally dismisses him because of the tea. It’s a bother to him, before he realises how necessary that connection is. So now I’m just thinking about this thing that became a source of anguish for Martin, so much so that even as an adult, even after his mother is dead, he still can’t taste oolong without being hit with the memory of that pain and belittlement. And how Jon, with some time and character development, took that thing he did out of desperation for approval and turned it into something Jon made a pillar of his life, the symbol of Martin in goodness and his love and Jon sought it out every chance he got, and passed it onto others as an act of kindness as well. Martin’s mother meant the tea as a veiled hate, but it got passed down and distilled through enough love that when Jon offers tea to Georgie, what he is saying is “I care about you”. 

[angstsfordays]

Beautiful Pain (5)

Chapter Five- Think About Us

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader

Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.

Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.

That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-Blip world.

Chapter synopsis: Feeling lucky to have met Sharon in Madripoor, she could be your lead to find out the origins of the new super serums. Meanwhile, your one-sided love for Bucky might turn out otherwise.

Warnings: Awkward run-ins. Sexual tension, perhaps? A slow slow burn. Violence. A few bad words.

Word count: 4.3k

Notes: Hi everyone! Ever since I started this series, I gained a great number of followers and I am so thankful for everyone who did so! I am really glad you have been enjoying this series so far! 😆

Please let me know what you think of the story, I really appreciate it! 😘

The tag list is still open! Let me know if you want to join with a message or comment in the chapters!

Previous: Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

-------------------------//---------------------------

Sharon brought you back to her place and you were amazed at how high end it was. The residential place had armed security and as you entered the building, you realised that there was a gallery within it filled with stolen original artworks.

Sharon explained how she had to chose to make the most of her new life. Even she was a fugitive of the states, she made sure she put her skills to use so that she could enjoy a comfortable life.

You were in awe at her resilience. Sam in an innocent moment, couldn’t believe that all the artworks in Sharon’s gallery were the real deal and Bucky informed that the museums were all holding fakes.

Letting you know that she’s hosting clients in an hour, she ushered all of you to go get changed. Sharon told you to choose anything from her personal wardrobe and offered you to use the bathroom.

Giving your thanks, she left you to your own. You immediately took off your heels and pulled the strings that held your dress together. Taking advantage of her bathroom products, you wiped off your makeup and allowed yourself a refreshing quick shower.

Once the last bit of bubbles was washed off your body, you towelled yourself off and put on a fresh set of underwear. As you were about to reach for the hairdryer, you suddenly heard the jolt of the door and you turned to see Bucky entering the same bathroom.

It was a brief second of exchange before you turned your back on him while he exited and close the door behind him.

“Oh shoot, sorry- I didn’t know-” Bucky stuttered as he struggled to find the right words. You felt your cheeks turning hot but tried to stay cool.

“It’s okay, don’t need to worry.” As you were met with silence, you couldn’t help but wince at the awkward moment and hoped to make it go away.

“Are you urgent?” You added on to see if he would respond. His next words brought you relief as you thought he would have just walked off without notice.

“Oh no, it’s fine. I can wait.” You thought that you didn’t want to make him wait and quickly rushed to wear the oversized white blouse and light flared denim that Sharon passed to you.

You quickly proceeded to open the door to find Bucky standing awkwardly with his hands behind and his head looking down on the floor. You saw he had picked out a black ensemble- a black blazer, black shirt, black pants and black shoes.

He looked so good you wanted to melt into a puddle.

When he heard the doors opened, he immediately raised his head to meet your eyes. You tried to give a reassuring smile to ease the atmosphere and told him that he could use the bathroom first. You could dry your hair later.

“I swear I didn’t see anything, I mean I did for a second but that was it.” Bucky tried to explain himself. He hated how he was suddenly being weird around you.

Maybe he was acting because this was the first time he has even remotely seen a woman like that after years of HYDRA’s brainwashing and being on the run. But then again, he had seen all those bikini pictures of women on dating apps and while it was bizarre to him, it didn’t faze him in the way it just did with you.

In all his years that Bucky had known you, that was probably the first time he has actually seen you in such an intimate image. What was up with tonight and why was he suddenly feeling so much about you?

“It’s fine, Buck! It’s not like you are a pervert or something.” Trying to crack a joke so that Bucky could relax, you saw the side of his mouth quirk up in agreement before he stepped into the bathroom.

-------------------------//---------------------------

You entered the room last seeing everyone was already gathering and talking. Greeted by the sight of Zemo pouring himself a drink and Sam putting on a shirt, your eyes moved to where Sharon joined Bucky on the couch.

You managed to catch the last bit of conversation where Sharon was shading Bucky in regard to the topic of John Walker. Sharon warned of potentially crossing paths with the power broker as you all wanted to find more leads on Nagel.

Sam tried to convince her to help and promised to clear her name. As she poured herself a drink, you could tell from Sharon’s expression that she was not buying it. Her walls were up after the last incident and she wasn’t sure if she could trust you all anymore.

Sam pressed on but Sharon refused to be pitied. He then made it a deal and she relented. Sharon mentioned how her clients were well-connected and she would see if she could get anything useful from the party.

Looking at you stand uncomfortably at the corner, she came up to you and squeezed your shoulder to comfort you.

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch all this while. There’s no excuse.”

“It’s fine, you were dragged into it pretty much like I was.” Sam gave a surprising look at how Sharon was fine with your apology.

Noticing it, Sharon then explained that she had a softer spot for you since you were friends and you had stuck your neck out for her on several occasions during your S.H.I.E.L.D days.

She was willing to overlook it compared to her almost non-existent history with Sam.

“I’m surprised you kept your secret from me, I thought we were friends after all.” You knew she was referring to your powers. Nervously licking your lips, you responded.

“I’m sorry. It was Director Fury’s order.” The guilt seeped in.

“And you actually revealed it for the first time publicly for him?” Without mentioning his name, Bucky knew Sharon was referring to him. He looked over to see you giving a nervous and awkward smile. While curious to know what you would say, Bucky just looked somewhere else pretending to be unbothered.

“There’s a lot more to it, Sharon. I wish I could tell you more.”

“He’s really something, huh?” Sharon said before sipping her drink. You actually knew what to say but held back especially since Sam and Zemo were in the room.

More importantly, Bucky was there. Sensing your hesitance and noticing your fleeting glance over at Bucky, Sharon had a hunch but she was more than aware to not harp on it.

Giving an awkward laugh, you tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear. You looked into her eyes in a quiet exchange and she returned you a brief smile before telling everyone to lay low and enjoy the party.

-------------------------//---------------------------

The music was bouncing off the speakers wildly and the flashing lights in the club caused to squint your eyes a bit. Sharon was already working while the rest of you figured how you would exactly blend in.

Zemo was already working his way onto the dance floor and you were flabbergasted at the mere sight of him starting to bust out some moves to the music. You could see Sam being approached by some people and beginning to make small talk.

Turning your head to find Bucky, you realised you had lost sight of him in the crowd. You weren’t exactly in a party mood seeing you’re all alone and opted to head to the bar.

Before taking another step, you heard someone calling for you.

“Hey.” Spinning your head to the source of the voice, you were met with the vision of a tall and handsome man with a boyish smile. You were taken aback by his request to dance and you thought you probably looked like an idiot turning your head to look for your help.

When you face the guy once more, he had an earnest look that was waiting for your answer. Giving him another quick glance up and down, you didn’t think of him to be a sleazy dude. He kind of looked alright but you were wondering that if he were to be in Madripoor, could he even be up to any good?

“You’re really beautiful and I just wanted to dance.” He added on in hopes that you would agree.

Seeing how you were taking a long time to respond, the man reached out to grab your hand and pulled you closer to him. He respectfully kept you at a distance and did not immediately press himself against you.

Blinking like a deer in headlights, you took a sharp intake as he spun you to press your back against his front and placed his hands on your waist. Leading you to dance, you could feel him swaying side to side and guiding you to follow the same. You weren’t sure where to even put your hands and started cracking your knuckles in nervousness.

You bit your lip as you thought about how you should get yourself out of this. The man seemed nice enough but you weren’t into him. You are an agent and someone with superpowers, you should be able to get out of this mess.

Waiting for the right timing to tell him that you didn’t want to continue this, a cold hand reached out to grab yours and firmly pull you out of the man’s grip on you. Your eyes met with a familiar chest and in the next moment, a warm hand rested on your back.

Titling your head up, piercing cerulean orbs met yours and you heaved a sigh of relief at the recognition of the owner with the beautiful eyes.

“Sorry I’m late, doll.” His voice was reverberating all the way from his chest. Your eyes shied away to meet his once more before you peered over your shoulder at the embarrassed man.

“Hey man, I didn’t know. She didn’t say anything.” The man raised his hands in surrender but Bucky was not pleased with his explanation.

“If she didn’t say anything, it is not consent.” Bucky shot back with a death stare. You swore Bucky could add staring onto his list of super abilities as it always seemed to make people tremble in fear, save for Sam.

When the man was gone, Bucky apologised before letting you go. Instant disappointment washed over you as you had secretly hoped to be held by him longer. Bucky cleared his throat and tried to look somewhere far as he didn’t know what to say next in this situation.

You were overwhelmed with emotions and thought that it was now or never.

“Do you wanna dance?” You looked up to see Bucky looking back at you with wide eyes. You instantly regretted ever asking the question and quickly turned yourself away before he could even say anything.

Bucky’s hand shot out to grab yours to stop you from moving and the two of you exchanged in a silent moment before he spoke.

“I don’t really know how to dance to this. Music was different back in the day. The dance is also uh- different-” You knew Bucky was referring to the exceedingly intimate dancing of people that were surrounding you.

It was the norm but you would never see yourself doing that. The only time where you would actually let loose and dance that provocatively was in good fun with your girlfriends or gathered a stroke of courage with hard liquor.

“We don’t need to follow them. We can dance by our own rules.” Hands reaching out to hold his, you moved them to the rhythm to allow him to feel the music. You then lift your right and his left hand in the air before you twirled yourself.

Bucky’s lips moved up into a brief smile as you led the dance with confidence. The two of you were in your own bubble, uncaring of your surroundings. Seeing Bucky loosened up a little more, you picked up the confidence to groove your hips to the music. Recognising the song, you sang it enthusiastically and lost yourself in the lyrics.

This was probably the first time you had the chance to visibly relax from the aftermath of the last fight and the grief of your loss. Bucky couldn’t hold back his grin when he saw how you looked so carefree. He knew that even though you looked cheerful most of the time, he could always sense a tinge of sadness behind those eyes.

The next song was familiar to you as it was a favourite of yours. It was a popular Latin pop song and it easily invites one to dance their heart out.

Wrapping your hands behind his neck, you motioned him to follow you in slightly swaying to the music. The song sang of two people who were attracted to each other and you couldn’t help but wished it was fitting for this context.

Believing that your attraction to Bucky was only one-sided, you took this chance to be able to ever have such intimacy with him. As you sang the song, you playfully made up such actions to the lyrics that came off flirtatious. You believed Bucky was playing along with you in the moment but that was where you thought wrong.

Listening to the lyrics of the song, Bucky’s ear turned red at what the song was about. Seeing how you were acting, he thought that you were just feeling out the song but Bucky felt otherwise. When the beat dropped, Bucky made a sudden move to pull closer by the waist.

Lowering his head nearer to yours, your breath hitched at the sudden turn of events. You didn’t think one dance with Bucky would turn out like this. One of your hands slid from the back of his to hold his jaw. Your thumb stroked his light beard and you realised your noses were almost brushing.

What was going on? Could Bucky also feel the same way or was he too caught up in the moment. Both of your hands slid down to smooth the lapels of his jacket before resting on his broad chest. Your eyes averted away due to the intensity of his brooding stare but Bucky took this chance to bring his hand to tilt your head back to face him straight on.

“Bucky-” Whispering his name to get his attention, you didn’t know the effect it had on him as his attention went to your lips tinted with a balm. Were your lips always this alluring? He suddenly really wanted a taste to find out.

Bucky slanted his head to an angle before lowering his lips. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes as you anticipated what was about to happen.

“Hey guys, Sharon got a lead!” Sam’s voice broke you out of your trance and you snapped your eyes open. Without looking at Bucky, you quickly turned to see Sam making his way through the crowd to find the two of you.

“Here!” You piped up before making quick steps to the man, leaving a bewildered and disappointed super-soldier behind. Sam pointed to you where Sharon was and when he turned back to see Bucky, he was confused as to why Bucky was staring at him like he wanted him dead.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Nagel’s hideout was speculated to be amongst the shipping containers. Sharon warned you that the longer you stayed in Madripoor, the lesser chances you had of leaving with the bounty on all of you.

She passed you in-ear comms before giving you the container number. Before she walked away, you stopped her in her tracks.

“Would you be alright? I could come with you instead.” You added that the three men should be good on their own but Sharon insisted that she would be fine on her own. She wished you good luck before leaving you all.

As the four of you entered the container, you weren’t sure if you were in the right place. Zemo managed to find the handle of the door and looked back at all of you.

Sam and Bucky readied themselves with guns while you nervously fidgeted with your hands. As Bucky walked up to you, he gave you a longing stare but you quickly averted your eyes away.

Your mind was still reeling from what happened at the club last night and you couldn’t believe that things went that far. Was it real or was it just a dream? You shook your head to snap you out of your thought as you refocus on the mission at hand.

Sam and Bucky both took the lead while you were pacing side by side with Zemo. You looked to see him with a sudden solemn expression as you continued to make your way forward.

As the music started playing from a speaker somewhere, the sight that greeted you showed that the inside of this container was refurbished to be some sort of lab.

Venturing inwards, you saw a man who you presumed to be Dr Nagel. Zemo turned off the record player and Sam called for the doctor.

The doctor though frightened, was still relatively calm at the sight of all four of you in his supposed hidden lab. Despite the intrusion, Dr Nagel was indifferent and asked for everyone to leave. While he made his way, his feet stopped at the sight of Bucky.

Sam suggested he better speak of what he knew about the super-soldier serums but Nagel seemed defiant. He even asked for a counter-proposal to make him talk.

That’s when you heard Sharon speaking in the comms about approaching company. Time was pressing and you were frustrated at the doctor’s refusal to speak. Bucky took the rougher approach and immediately went to sit Nagel down while pointing a gun directly at his head.

You sighed in exasperation when Sharon spoke in your comms once more to inform you that every bounty hunter in Madripoor had known of your location and was coming to get all of you.

Nagel feared Bucky the most, knowing what he was actually capable of all. He began to share how he worked for HYDRA then the CIA. He managed to get his hands on an American test subject with semi-stable traces of the super-soldier serum.

You closed your eyes wearily as you knew who he was referring to. Nagel then went on to talk about how he managed to recreate the serum after much hard work and referred to himself as a god.

His project was paused when he was snapped. However, when he came back, he sought refuge here in Madripoor. The power broker was very eager to fund his work. He had made exactly twenty vials of the serum but they were all stolen by Karli Morgenthau.

He remarked that Karli had contacted him to seek help for someone, Donya Madani who was diagnosed with tuberculosis. This was definitely a clue to help you all step in the right direction.

“Y/N L/N.” The sudden call of your name had you meet eyes with Nagel. You didn’t expect him to look at you with a leering smile that managed to creep you out. All the men were curious why he had suddenly called for you.

“I read your leaked files. You are the only one of your kind. Perhaps, the only one who managed to surface from the shadows.” Nagel’s words only served to confused everyone before he continued.

“I am a believer of Science, but when there has been little research, you can’t help to turn to stories. You are human yet you are not. How on earth are you able to gain superpowers without any experimentation done on you?” You realised this was why Director Fury had you hidden all this while cause he knew that people like Nagel would love to get his hands on you.

“It would be an honour for me to able to find out what courses through your veins and make you so powerful. Perhaps, if I am able to provide such privileges to those who were willing to pay for it, I will be unstoppable.”

Talking like a mad man, you shook your head in disbelief at what he was implying. The fact he wanted to treat you like a test subject for his personal science project. Bucky clutched the gun in his hands harder while you went forward to grab Nagel’s collars.

Your hands glowed brightly, threatening to burn Nagel. He was a crossed between looking fearful and fascinated at the same time.

“You bastard-”

“Guys, we’re seriously out of time here!” Sharon busted through the doors right at this moment. Your hands on Nagel slackened as you turned towards Sharon. Before you knew it, a gunshot was fired and Sam had Zemo backed up to the wall.

Nagel fell flat on the floor with a bullet lodged right at where his heart would be.

The breaking of windows came before the flames burst through the room. Everyone went to hide from the blast while you stretched your hands to use your powers to subdue it. While the impact was reduced, everyone still fell back on the floor from the shock.

Bucky who managed to recover faster went to help everyone up and you pulled them to their feet. All of you managed to make your way to the exit.

Even in the smoke, you could make out the shadows of the bounty hunters who were preparing a shootout. Bucky tried to lead but Sam already went ahead. You rolled your eyes at the fact that they couldn’t work together for once.

All three of your friends started to fight back with the onslaught of people after your lives. As you faced your palms out on standby, Sam reminded you to not use your powers.

“Do we look like we have the privilege to do that now?” You retorted before sending blasts consecutively to know each hunter down like a domino.

As you knocked out each person, you could hear arguing at the back from Sam and Bucky. You had it and you shot a huge blast that reminiscing of a torch blower before you sharply turn back at the two bickering children.

“For the love of god, if you two don’t stop this, I will burn your tongues off.” You said it like you mean it before the two men zipped shut.

A sudden burst of flames took your attention next and you hold up your hands to build a barrier to protect your friends. All of your attention was directed to Zemo appearing out of nowhere and taking out people easily.

You all decided to escape from your hiding spot and find somewhere safe. Your group were met with a couple more bounty hunters which Bucky easily took care of. All of you retreated to a container before Bucky burst out of the other end.

Zemo came and pulled up with a car with a cheeky smile. Was this man the same one from before?

Sam gave him shit for pulling the stunt on Nagel and claimed that he would send him back to jail. However, Bucky intervened and reasoned that you all still needed Zemo to find Karli. Getting into the car before Sam, you were surprised to hear Sharon wouldn’t be joining you. She held Sam to the promise of a pardon and you stretched your hands to squeeze hers affectionately.

“Take care.” You bided her farewell before she did the same.

-------------------------//---------------------------

“You, okay?” Bucky checked in with Sam as he finally took a breather after making a call. You sat beside Bucky as he cleaned out the dirt and blood from his vibranium arm.

There was a lot to process from what happened in Madripoor. Learning about what Sharon had to go through and how Nagel was a mad scientist who did not have respect for human beings.

“Are you okay?” Bucky turned to you next. He was worried for you when he saw how you were with Nagel. Your rage was clear as day when you heard how the doctor spoke of you like you were some work of scientific wonder to be poked and prodded.

He could only imagine how upsetting it was for you like how it unsettled him to have you being talked about in that manner. You gave his vibranium hand a light squeeze before leaning your head on his shoulder for comfort.

“I will be okay.” You sighed before closing your eyes to rest. Bucky held your hands and laid them on his leg as he saw you trying to relax from all the events that had happened earlier. He decided to let you have your peace.

You could hear your boys started talking properly for once without arguing about Steve’s shield. It seemed like everything had been a mess. Sam went on to say that he should have it destroyed while Bucky countered that the shield was important to many people including himself.

He vowed to make sure he takes it back from Walker cause it sure plain as hell that he was not suited to be your new Captain. Sam managed to find out who Donya Madani was and informed that she had passed away.

Feeling the other end of the seat sinking, you figure Zemo had taken that spot. He remarked that he had a place that you all could go in regard to Donya’s last location and requested a change of course.

Bucky looked down to see you already laying still, probably getting a quick shut-eye. Catching Sam’s glance down at your tangled hands, Bucky looked away to seem apathetic where in reality, his heart was racing wildly as he hears the soft breathing that soon came out of your lips.

-------------------------//---------------------------

Tag list: @tanyaherondale @spookycereal-s @cataves @archaeoheart @conflicted-noxsirius

[mochegato]

Capturing a Dream

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 - First Mission

 She was late.  She was late. She was sooooooooo late. Stupid last minute fabric misorder that caused a backup in production, which left everyone scrambling and rushing to figure out a solution.  Bright side, they figured out a solution that was better than the original and Marinette was a huge part of it, gaining her accolades from her supervisor and the director of design.  Down side, Chimera was now extremely late for the mission briefing. Her first mission briefing.  She would be lucky if she made it there before it was over.

Marinette ducked into an alley close to the zeta tube and transformed. She grimaced as she stood in front of the opening.  There was no way to make this discrete.  It was going to announce her lateness for everyone to hear.  She couldn’t portal in just to avoid embarrassment because that was considered “personal use” and she didn’t know how much time they would have before they had to leave so she couldn’t take the chance that she would have to detransform, feed Kaalki, then retransform.  So she was just going to have to deal with the extreme embarrassment. She took a deep breath and walked through the opening.

“Recognize Chimera B12”

Chimera let out a deep sigh.  Yeah, there was no way they didn’t hear that.  She looked at the Team and noted their expressions.  Not as bad as she had been expecting, but she still felt terrible. She rushed over to the Team, standing behind everyone and trying to give Batman’s image on the screen her full attention.

When Batman paused to pull up a schematic of the area they were focusing on, Superboy leaned over to her.  “You’re late.” He said in a quietly gruff voice.

She looked up and scowled at him.  “I’m aware,” she hissed back.  “Couldn’t get away.”

“Right.  It’s not like we’re doing anything important here.” He sniped quietly.

“I know we are.  But my personal life is important too.  If I don’t keep my… outside deal happy, I don’t stay here. I get sent home and I am no longer on the Team.”  He furrowed his brow in surprise.  She frowned at him, feeling guilty for not being faster and looked back toward Batman. “It’s a balancing act.  A balancing act I’m clearly failing at.  Sorry.”

He watched her for a few more seconds before returning his attention to Batman as well.  “Sorry,” he grumbled out of the corner of his mouth.

“Now that Chimera has arrived, I’ll review roles.  Aqualad, Artemis, Kid Flash, Robin, and Superboy, you will all be on tracking duty. You will work together on the ground to track the subject.”  They nodded at him.  

“Chimera, you will be on distance reconnaissance, observing the team from a distance.  I don’t want you interacting unless necessary.  Nobody knows about you yet and I want to keep it that way.  I want you calling out positions when needed and using mirage if necessary.”  She nodded at him.  “When you find him, report in, and I’ll recover him.  DO NOT ENGAGE.  If at any point you need assistance, CALL IT IN.  Don’t try to prove yourselves by doing it on your own. Everyone needs help sometimes. Make sure you are reporting your movements.” His voice made clear there was no room for argument or leeway in his statement.  He stared at each of them to make sure they all understood how serious he was.  “You leave in 5.”

The ride to the site was shorter than Chimera expected.  As soon as they landed, they tested out their coms and moved off the ship.  Aqualad and Superboy led the way off the ship. Artemis and Chimera followed behind, with Kid Flash and Robin bringing up the rear.  After a few seconds they heard Kid Flash over the coms “What do you think I need to do to get Aqualad to pair me up with Chimera on the next mission? I’d kill for some alone time with her.”

Everyone froze immediately. Kid Flash’s eyes went wide in embarrassment looking at each of them as they reacted.  Aqualad shot him an exasperated look.  Superboy stared daggers at him.  Robin chuckled and moved away from him, leaving him to deal with the repercussions on his own.  Chimera stared straight ahead, her eyes wide in shock.  Artemis continued looking straight ahead as well, but instead of staring at nothing like Chimera, she stared at Superboy.  “If he gets alone time with you, I get alone time with Superboy.” She grinned at him when he gave her a confused look.

Chimera groaned and let out a frustrated breath.  "Are you guys kidding me?” She exclaimed loudly looking at them.  “It’s like Felix all over again.  Can we focus on the mission, please?"

Robin stopped walking and turned back to her.  "Felix?"

Chimera’s eyes bugged out for a second chastising herself for giving away that clue to her identity, before her face went slack.  She turned away from the group and started walking away.  "How about we agree whatever personal information we find out about one another during a mission we ignore?  Now let's track this guy down.  I’m moving to my position."  The rest of the Team looked at each other and nodded.  They would table that conversation until later.  Right now, they needed to focus on the mission. Once Chimera was in her position, they’d move to their own positions.

After about 5 minutes Chimera still hadn’t checked in.  The Team gave each other anxious looks.  They were ready to get moving and didn’t appreciate having to wait to move.  “Chimera, are you in position?”  Aqualad asked through the coms.  

There was a full 20 second pause before her response came.  “Having a bit of trouble getting into position.  I’ve come across a problem.” She grunted.

“If you are lost, you should be able to follow the map on your flute.  Get in position.  We can’t start until you are.” Aqualad chastised her.

They heard a few noises coming from Chimera’s com but no response to Aqualad’s question. “Chimera! Stand down and get in position.”

“Your first mission and already disobeying orders?” Artemis snorted. “Damn, I’m not even that cocky.”

Chimera’s com finally crackled to life again.  “To be clear, you want me to stop fighting the guy that jumped me and is currently trying to kill me?”

“There’s a guy attacking you?”  Robin whipped around toward the direction he thought she was in.

“You thought I was making these noises for fun?” She huffed at him.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”  Superboy demanded starting to run towards her position.

“I’m just getting my breath back.  He caught me by surprise and got in a lucky hit.” She grumbled.

“Who is it?” Aqualad asked sternly moving toward her as well, but slower than Superboy.

“I’m not sure.  Hey scary looking guy trying to kill me, my teammates want to know your name… uh huh. Really?  I would have thought… I mean, not to criticize,” she grunted a few times as she jumped away from him or struck him, “but isn’t that a little… You know what, I really don’t have the right to critique names as being too on the nose.  He says his name is Killer Croc.”  She paused for a few seconds giving a grunt before speaking again.  “He says to say hi.”  She said slightly strained.

“Damn it.” Robin cursed.

“We’re on our way.”  Aqualad assured her and nodded to the Team to start moving.

“Here already.” Kid Flash reported.  “He’s not even part of the mission!  How did you find him?” He asked incredulously.

“I didn’t go looking for him!  I’m just lucky apparently.” She chuckled out wryly. “Look out, Kid Flash!”

“I’m almost there.”  Superboy called to her.

“Take your time.  We’re just getting to know each other.  He said he wants to have fun with me later.”  Chimera commented with a fake casualness.

“I think your definitions of fun might not match.” Robin remarked drolly.

“Only one way to find out.” She shrugged.

“We’re super excited you’ve decided to come out from the sewers.  We’re looking forward to chatting with you.”  Kid Flash added coldly, running to hit him.  Killer Croc turned just out of his reach and caught him with his tail instead, sending Kid Flash flying down the street.

“Kid Flash!”  Chimera yelled moving toward him.

“I’ll be there in about 20 seconds.”  Superboy stated.  

Chimera nodded even though none of her team could see it and turned back to Killer Croc.  “I’ll have him ready for you.” She whispered to her coms.  “Hey evil killer guy, I heard you were difficult.  You’re really embarrassing yourself here.  I expected better.” She loudly taunted Killer Croc.

“What are you doing?” Superboy yelled into the coms.

They could hear Killer Croc growling at Chimera before she whispered, “Mirage…” but nothing around her seemed to have changed.  Slightly louder she said, “Superboy, expect him from above you in 3, Voyage…. 2, 1.”

Killer Croc lunged at her, throwing his full weight at her in an attempt to break as many bones as he could with his impact.  Instead of hitting her, he found himself falling from a portal in the sky a few stories up.  He braced himself to hit the ground, but it never came.  Instead, he got hit from the side with the force of a building collapsing. He hit a nearby building with a sickening crack.  The force of the impact crushed the bricks where he hit and caused cascading cracks radiating out from the impact site.  

Killer Crock shook his head as he fell to the ground on all fours and looked over where the first hero had been.  Everything looked exactly the same until suddenly she disappeared and a portal stood where she had been.  She reappeared a few feet away at Kid Flash’s side.  He shook his head to try to make sense of the change and looked back to the building that had hit him.  He barely had time to take note of a boy in a black shirt and red ‘S’ stalking toward him, eyes glazed with rage, before the boy raised his arm and punched him again, knocking him back into the building.  

Superboy hit him again and again until Killer Croc passed out from the beating. Superboy raised his arm again but stopped when Chimera laid her hand on his shoulder.  “It’s okay,” she said softly but firmly.  “He’s down.  He isn’t a threat anymore.”

He lowered his arm breathing heavily, still glaring at the villain.

“Where do we want him to go, Aqualad?” Chimera spoke quietly into her com.  “I need a destination to move him.”

“We’ll do it the old fashioned way today and call the police.  I’ll make sure they show you Arkham later.” Aqualad stated calmly coming around the corner to observe the scene.

“Guess you’ll never know if your definitions match up now.” Artemis commented coming up next to Chimera.

“Shame.  He looked… interesting.”  Artemis let out a quiet laugh.  

“How’s he doing?” She asked nodding toward Kid Flash as she moved to check on him. He was now starting to push up onto his knees, though he was still swaying a bit.

“He seems okay, more dazed than anything.  We’ll have to give a better checkup when we get back.” Chimera reported. “I have to recharge anyway. Should I take him back to the ship?” Chimera asked Aqualad.  He nodded.

“Artemis, go with her.  Robin, I want you here to deal with the police.  This is your town, I’m sure you know them.  I’ll call it into Batman and see what he wants to do with the original mission.  Superboy, I want you to keep an eye on him until the police get here.  Do not hit him again unless he wakes up.”  Superboy nodded, never moving his glare from the villain’s collapsed body.

Superboy waited restlessly to check on Chimera, his hands curled into white-knuckled fists the entire time they spoke to the police.  After about an hour, Superboy, Aqualad, and Robin returned to the ship.  Superboy automatically sought out Chimera.  She was sitting with Kid Flash and Artemis, Kid Flash talking and making wild gestures while Artemis and Chimera laughed at him.  Superboy looked up to meet Chimera’s eyes and kept eye contact for a few seconds.   When she smiled at him, he let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding since she was first attacked and relaxed his hands. Chimera walked over to him and gently laid her hand on his arm.  “You okay?” Her eyes were filled with concern.

“I’m fine.” He growled.  “Are you okay?” He looked her up and down, searching for any signs or injury.  “How could you let him get you like that?”

“I’ll be fine.  I’ve had worse and still won the fight.”  She gave him a small smile.  “He hits hard, but not as hard as some super teammates I’ve gone up against.” He huffed at her, his eyes still furrowed and frowning at her.  “He got a lucky hit in.  It happens.  I recovered and I had teammates there to help.  Thank you.”  Her eyes were shining with gratitude and softness.  Superboy’s eyes softened too and nodded at her.  

She could see he was still tense.  Watching a teammate get hurt had that effect on people.  She certainly had that reaction when Adrien or Alya or Nino or any of her old team took a hard hit.  “Can I give you a hug?” She asked tentatively.  Hugging her friends after the fight had always calmed her down. She hoped it did the same for him.

He stared at her uncertain how to respond for a few seconds but finally nodded again and opened his arms to her.  She smiled at him and walked into his embrace, holding him tightly.  He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her firmly to his chest.  He rested his head on hers, holding her close for a few minutes, slowly relaxing in the knowledge she was safe and close.  

<><><><><> 

Superboy watched Chimera as she sketched in the common room.  She sat with her back against the armrest of the couch, her legs stretched out across the couch.  Luckily, she was short enough that it still left room for Superboy. She had turned on some old looking movie she was barely paying attention to.

He walked in, sat on the free cushion, and watched the movie for a few moments.  “What even is this?  This is terrible.”

She looked up startled like she hadn’t noticed him sit down.  “Hey.  This is Highlander.”  He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.  She gave him a sheepish grin.  “One of my friends is a movie guy.  He thought I might like it.  Good period costumes, he said.  Fun sword play and light shows.”

He nodded and looked back to the movie.  After a few minutes of glancing at Chimera from the corner of his eye he finally asked the thought that had been on his mind since their mission.  "So… who's Felix?"  He didn’t look away from the movie when he asked.

Chimera glared at him.  "I thought we agreed we forget any personal information we find out during a mission."

He finally looked over at her with a dubious look.  "No, you suggested that. None of us agreed to it."  He leaned back and rested his elbow on the back of the couch.  "So, tell me about Felix and how do I find him? I just want to talk to him."

She snorted.  “You’d be the first.  Most want to punch him in the face.  Which is exactly what I did and I can assure you it is in fact as gratifying as you hope it would be.”  She gave him a grin.  He huffed out a laugh before turning his attention to the movie.

After a few more moments, she looked back up at him.  “So… are you excited for school?”  

He groaned.  “No.”

She furrowed her brow.  She really wished she could go with him to help him at school.  She was nervous about making friends in her new school too, but at least she was used to school.  This was going to be Superboy’s first time going to school at all.  She really wanted to forget about the whole identity issue and go with him, or get them to send him to her school so she could keep a covert eye on him, but they wanted to keep him close.  “Sorry,” she mumbled instead.  “Do you know what you’re going to wear?”  

He looked at her for a second or two as he thought about it.  He motioned to his shirt and gave her a confused look.  She looked back at him in horror.  “You can’t wear that!  Secret identity.  You have to wear something different.”

He groaned and huffed at her.  He thought for a second then took off his shirt, turned it inside out, and put it back on that way.  Her eyes opened wide in surprise and she blushed heavily before turning back down to her sketchbook.  “Yeah, um… No.”  She stammered out, focusing solely on the blank page in front of her and willing her blush to go away.  This is not how teammates react to other teammates.  “I’ll come up with something else for you.  What colors do you like? “

He furrowed his brow and looked down at his shirt.  “Black… red…dark.”

She nodded, “Broody colors.  Got it.”  He scowled at her.  She gave him a cheeky grin.  “I’ll have something for you tomorrow.  We’ll work on what your style is as you decide what you like.  I should get your measurements though.”  She looked down at her notebook and started sketching again. After a few moments of sketching, she looked over shyly.  “But, so you know, maybe don’t do that at school.”  She said motioning toward his shirt.

He frowned at her, “Why?”

She stared at him incredulously for a few moments, trying to decide if he was serious or not.  She finally realized he was when he continued to frown at her, confused about her concern.  She wasn’t sure whether his innocence was incredibly sweet or concerning.  “Oh, my sweet summer child, I really wish I could be there to protect you tomorrow, but… identity, you know?  So I’m going to need you to protect yourself.”

“I’ll be fine.” He grumbled, turning to the movie.

She continued to stare at him a bit longer before speaking up again. “You know you’re handsome, right?”

His head whipped toward her, his eyes wide.  “You think so?”

She let out a disbelieving laugh and smiled at him.  “I know so.  Extremely handsome and broody.  A bad boy with a good heart.” His cheeks started turning pink as she spoke. Every word turned them darker.  “People are going to be falling all over themselves to get close to you.  Boys, girls, thems.  You’re going to get all of their attention.  Some will show it like Artemis, some more subtle, some less subtle. You’re going to get a lot of attention at school, people wanting to get close to you because you’re handsome, not everyone, but some.”  She paused to look at him earnestly.  “Just be careful.  Make friends with people who make you feel better, happier, lighter.  You don’t have to make friends with anyone, but if you meet someone you like, you should.  Although if it seems like something someone says is too good to be true, it probably isn’t.”  She warned him with a dark look crossing her eyes quickly.

“I don’t need more friends.  I have enough friends. Friends who think I’m extremely handsome.”  He grinned at her.

She burst out laughing not expecting him to be that bold.  She rolled her eyes.  “You don’t need more friends, but more friends can make life better sometimes.  If it’s the right people.”  He grunted and turned back to the movie.  

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Chimera sketching different outfits for Superboy, Superboy watching the movie and frowning occasionally.  The silence was broken occasionally with Chimera asking him if he liked some element of a character’s costume or not.  About half an hour into the movie Superboy grumbled, “This movie is depressing.”

Chimera looked up from her third sketch and took notice of the movie again.  “What makes you say that?  The effects aren’t that bad, not for that time anyway. I mean the sword fighting could use some work and the accents are terrible, but… I think it’s fun.”

Superboy continued to watch the movie for a while longer.  “I don’t age either.”  He said quietly.  Chimera looked at him questioningly.  He sighed and looked down.  “I’ll be this age, physically at least, for the rest of my life.  Part of the cloning process.”

Chimera gave him a sad look and reached out her foot, the only part of her body that was close enough to touch him, to pat his leg.  “At least you’ll be hot.”  She offered with a sympathetic smile.  He huffed at her and returned to watching the movie, but he couldn’t help the small smile on his lips.

She watched the movie with him for a while longer watching as the main character’s wife died of old age in his arms while he was still the same age as when they met.  She frowned at the screen and said quietly, “I’ll age, but much, much slower than everyone else.”  Superboy looked over at her in surprise.  She offered him a mirthless smile.  “It’s part of the powers I have now.  I’ll live for centuries if I want to.”  She looked back to the movie and frowned as the main character buried his wife.  “I’m not so sure that’s a good thing.”

Superboy nodded at her.  “At least you’ll be hot.” He offered with a smile.

She laughed out loud at him.  Once she settled down she gave him a crooked smile.  “I’d take that more to heart if you had any idea what I look like.”

He gave her a small smile and watched the rest of the movie in silence.  When it was over, he looked over at Chimera to find her examining him with her eyes narrowed as though sizing him up.  “What?” he demanded.

“You should use the name Conner for school.”

“Like the guy in the movie?”

“Yeah.  You need a name.  Conner’s a good name.  I think it suits you.”  She nodded as she said it, like it was decided.

He fought the blush that wanted to appear again.  If she liked the name, that’s what it would be.  “I can live with Conner.” He nodded nonchalantly, trying not to give away how significant he thought it was.

“No, I live with Conner.”  She gave him a cheeky grin and started laughing at her own bad joke.  He groaned and threw a pillow at her.  Thankfully, she was in her suit because he threw it with enough force to burst the pillow open when it hit her.  She laughed harder as the fluff rained down on them.

“But, so you know, maybe don’t tell jokes like that at school.” He said in mock distain.

She smiled wistfully at her sketchbook.  “Yeah, I think my old partner rubbed off on me.  He would have loved that joke.”

“Old partner?”

“Yeah… um… I don’t think… identity secrets, you know?”

“Okay.  Can you say, is he still alive?”

“Yes, he is.”

“What happened?  Why isn’t he your partner anymore?”  He paused for a few seconds to gauge her reaction.  “If you can say.” He added quickly.

“I can’t…identity.”  She gave him an apologetic look.  They sat without looking at each other for a while.  “He’s not a hero anymore.” She whispered after a few minutes.  He looked up at her with wide eyes.  “Oh, no.  He didn’t become a villain.” She rushed to reassure him.  “He just… he went through a lot and decided to walk away.”

“Do you miss him?”

“Um…I miss…” She thought how to word her response.  She wanted to answer him honestly, but it wasn’t safe for anyone to know they were still close.  “Yes.”  She answered instead.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.  He was my teammate, my best friend.  I’m happy he did what he had to do to take care of himself.  He’s happier now, or he will be eventually.  And now I have a new team and more friends.  We both did what we had to do.”

Conner nodded and looked around the room trying to figure out how to make the air feel less awkward.  His eyes landed on the end of the credits.  “He’s not the guy that recommended this movie is he?  Because that is not a good friend.”

She barked out a laugh.  “He’s not.  But the one that recommended it is like a brother, so watch it.” She narrowed her eyes at him and pointed her pencil at him in mock threat.

“Maybe I’ll get to meet him someday then.” He kept his voice light but gave her an uncertain look.

She gave him a brilliant smile and nodded.  “I hope so.”  He smiled back at her and helped pick up the pillow fluff that surrounded them.

 Tags:

@mickylikesstuff @mystery-5-5 @roguishredaxion

[bartramcat]

CSI/GSR: Long vs. Short Term Arcs

Okay, this is very off the cuff and inspired to some degree by @addictedtostorytelling and the discussion of Morgan and Greg and Hodges. Some stray things:

We know that the only thing decided about Sara Sidle pre-show was that she was meant to be Grissom's love interest.

At some point, before CSI continued to be a ratings juggernaut that Zuiker figured Grissom would go deaf, and that would be how the show would end.

When Grissom turned Sara down in Play With Fire, TPTB had decided that was going to be the end of that.

Things no one could have predicted:

The overwhelming worldwide success of the show, necessitating a workable resolution to Grissom's deaf storyline.

That no matter what, whenever Grissom and Sara are onscreen together, there is "something" there.

Billy and Jorja both were invested in GSR.

It seems to me the combination of the above is what gave us Season 4. In terms of GSR, a case could be made that they were starting all over again in a serialized novel sort of way.

Now I confess to knowing absolutely nothing about the Harry Potter novels, but, in my youth, thanks to Masterpiece Theatre, I did read all of The Forsyte Saga and Trollope's Palliser novels. What serialized novels have in common is that, for the most part, each novel stands on its own, but the author feels the need to continue to explore aspects of his characters beyond the original scope of the original novel.

In that regard, I suppose we could see 1-3 as a kind of GSR entity on its own. Grissom gets promoted and brings the girl he loves to Vegas, only to discover he can't have both the job and the girl. Beginning in 2, Grissom has two simultaneous arcs: the fear of going deaf and his unresolved feelings for Sara, with the first further compounding the complications associated with the second. What he doesn't discover until season 3 is that his "push me/pull me" relationship with Sara drives her to another man, a fact which utterly devastates him to an extent he could never have imagined.

Still, it is the deaf arc that is of more overriding concern: if he can't hear, he not only loses his job but also his entire sense of self at that point in time. Resolving his feelings for Sara will have to be backburnered, so he decides not to punish her for getting a life, as, at that point, he has no life to offer her, since he's not even sure what his life will be.

Meanwhile, back in Saraland, she discovers Hank is a dog and ends the relationship. If GSR were bad soap opera, the fact that Sara was seeing Hank would have been seen as a primary impediment. The thing is it never was. To me it's just one more nail in the Sara low self-esteem coffin. Also, if it were soap, the lab explosion and Grissom's unconscious revelation of his feelings for her would have led to some kind of positive resolution. The problem is that Grissom's deaf arc is still in play, not to mention all of his other relationship with Sara fears.

Sara misreads the situation; she thinks, finally, he might be ready to take the plunge, but she's completely wrong. By bringing their relationship to an either/or position, she basically pushes him into outright rejecting her, thus ending this phase of their arc. Ironically, Grissom's deaf arc gets resolved in the very next episode, but, by then, he really thinks it is "too late."

The thing about 4, besides it being incredibly hard to watch Sara descend into the abyss, is that, for the first time, the show makes it unequivocally clear that Grissom is both sexually attracted to Sara and in love with her. (The first doesn't always imply the second, although we learn later, for Grissom, it does.)

While Homebodies explores Grissom's fears that he won't ever be able to keep his loved one (Sara) safe--perhaps foreshadowing--Invisible Evidence certainly spells it out that his attraction to her is as physical as it is intellectual and emotional. I doubt anyone could watch those "pin me down" seconds out of context and not think that was a man who was about to fuck the shit out of her. (Of course in context it can't happen, but the desire is certainly there.)

Overall, however, outside of that, Grissom goes out of his way to distance himself from Sara: that "too late" thing again. Then the show throws Butterflied at us (and him), wherein it is made abundantly clear he is in love with her and regrets turning her down. What he doesn't know is that she hears everything he says, which twists the knife. She wasn't wrong: he does have feelings for her, only those feelings aren't strong enough for him to risk it, to take a chance on love.

So what we have for the rest of 4 is Grissom continuing to distance himself from Sara under the misguided belief that he has killed any feelings she had for him, while she continues to sink into depression and alcohol dependence. Given his distancing, he seems unaware that something isn't right with her until late in the season, and then it hits him between the eyes and in the gut in Bloodlines.

In a weird way, 4-6 is the inverse of 1-3. If Season 1 begins with a lot of light-hearted flirtation (and off the charts sexual chemistry) and ends with a seemingly insurmountable rift between them, 4-6 begins with the rift and works its way to their becoming an actual committed couple in a seemingly stable relationship. Of course the frustrating part is that the show neglected to tell us when, where, and how, although it's pretty evident that, for Grissom, Bloodlines is the catalyst for him to try to rebuild their relationship. I do not think he did so thinking the end result would be a "beautiful life" with Sara. More than likely, the best he hoped for was for them to be friends again.

As an aside, in the middle of 1-3, we have Cassie James, Grissom's personal Cassandra, telling him "You don't know what you need until you find it." While Grissom's "need" for Sara is couched purely in work terms throughout 3, season 4 into 5 shows a man who has seemingly come to terms with the fact that he both loves and needs her. The first half of 5 shows him far more in tune with her, and they begin to be comfortable together again. While I think he is perhaps at a place where he might occasionally daydream about the possibility that someday they might be together, I also suspect he thinks that ship has sailed.

And that is why he is completely floored in Snakes. Seemingly out of nowhere, she more or less tells him she's still in love with him, although, unlike in Play With Fire, she has no expectations that he can ever reciprocate her feelings. She, too, thinks that ship has sailed, but, now, she is reconciled to that fact.

I suppose the question for me has always been whether or not he goes to her in Nesting Dolls and tells her that it matters to him, not as her boss but as a man, why she's so angry, if Snakes doesn't happen. A large part of a believable narrative is that one thing must naturally lead to another. As a narrative arc, from 4 to mid-5, we get the following:

Invisible Evidence makes it clear that these two people are still sexually attracted to one another, even though neither one would consider acting on it at this point.

Butterflied confirms Grissom is in love with Sara and regrets turning her down.

Early Rollout tells us Sara may have a serious drinking problem.

Bloodlines is Sara at her lowest point, having been pulled over for a DUI, which signals to Grissom just how miserable she is.

In early 5, they begin to rebuild their camaraderie, with Grissom occasionally kind of sort of flirting with her, in his fashion.

Snakes confirms that, despite everything, she's still in love with him.

After her meltdown in Nesting Dolls, Grissom goes to her and coaxes her to tell him her deepest secrets, after which he comforts her, although what transpires between them after he takes her hand, like so many things GSR, is left vague.

It's always been curious to me that after their conversation in Unbearable that the curtain is drawn on exactly what the nature of their relationship is. I have always read, from Big Middle on, that they act like a couple, albeit a couple in the workplace. We get very little entree into their private interactions, so when and how they became lovers is open to individual interpretation. It isn't until the final scene of 6 that the show bothers to tell us they are lovers, and, judging by their interactions in Way to Go, have been a couple for some time.

I don't know about anyone else, but I think they seem married in that scene: completely comfortable with each other in a way that more or less screams that scenes like the one we are finally privy to have been occurring for a while.

In any event, 4-6 is a pretty remarkable journey in GSR land, as the two characters move from barely being able to speak to one another into a full-fledged love affair.

The amazing thing to me is that both the 1-3 and the 4-6 segments follow a logical progression, with each small insight or revelation explaining both choice and behavior--and leading into the next arc in their relationship.

It really is good stuff.

[bonny-kookoo]

Hangang River Bride (OT7 x Hybrid!Reader): Story summary (chapters 1-5)

Pairing: OT7 x Hybrid!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Hybrid!AU, Future smut

Warnings: Mentions of myth & Folklore, Mentions of Myth & Folklore, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, so much Angst, Past Abuse, mentions of domestic violence, rough handling and not in the kinky way, I'm adding more as the story progresses, Cat hybrid Jimin, Dog Hybrid Taehyung, Human Jin & Namjoon, Cat hybrid Yoongi, Dog hybrid Hoseok, Fox hybrid reader, Wolf hybrid Jungkook

Summary:

(Originally posted by R0ADKiLL on AO3, taken over by me with her consent in July 2020.)

Kim Seokjin and Kim Namjoon- a married couple and well known Hybrid owners. While Seokjin helps Hybrids as a very respected lawyer, Kim Namjoon focuses on studying them to help the world understand better. Their Hybrids Jimin and Yoongi, two rescued cat hybrids from a shelter, were their first- now the house is full of booming life with Taehyung and Hoseok, the two dogs they had adopted soon after, and Jungkook, the newest addition. Saved by a rescue organisation and taken in by Namjoon partially for his studies and partially just to give him a loving home, they seem to be finally complete. Until they meet the girl at the Hangang bridge.

Or: Y/N tries to sneakily steal Jungkooks lamb skewers, and almost gets herself eaten.

Careful: A lot of writing under the cut. Mobile users with older phones should switch to a browser page since the app could crash. I'm speaking out of experience lol.

Kim Seokjin enjoyed the simple things in life. Such as the situation he was in right now; in the arms of his husband, sleeping in because they both finally got a day off for once. "Are you worried?" He asks his Partner, who seems oddly serious despite the comfortable silence surrounding them. He knows that Namjoon knows what he's talking about; for the first time in months, Jungkook, their most recent hybrid addition to their family, has gone out by himself with Taehyung, the almost hyperactive australian shepherd hybrid. Jungkook can't be left alone by himself outside their four walls due to safety laws; all because he is a predator hybrid. As a Wolf, together with his alpha-gene, he has to be accompanied by at least one other Person; hybrid or human. Namjoon found it odd at first, but getting to know more about predator hybrids made him understand the thought behind it. Even though Jungkook was one of the most well behaved and down to earth hybrids he'd ever met, there was still a small chance of him acting on impulse. And it wouldn't even be his fault. Maybe he shouldn't leave the house then, but Jin and he decided that he should have a bit of freedom as well; after all, he was partially a person as well. He deserved to make decisions and have some alone time- as alone as he could be. "They're gonna be fine. Taehyung will keep an eye on him." Jin spoke softly, placing a small kiss to the bare shoulder of his partner, who just nodded, before falling asleep again.

"I'm hungry Jungkookie, let's get something to eat. We can eat it over there!" Taehyung pointed excitedly to the park, while Jungkook just nodded. He didn't like to decide things; he never learned after all. This was all still pretty new to him, even though they had been living together for almost a full year. Growing up in a cage treated like a full blown animal does that to you, they said to him at the rescue center. He's slowly coming out of his shell though; thanks to Jin and Namjoon, and all the other hybrids he now considers his pack, he finally lets loose once in a while.

Grabbing some food, the both walk around the park for a bit, finding a perfect spot to eat. Jungkook always thought what it would be like to have Lunch with friends at this park, never thinking it could all eventually happen. "There you go. Do you need anything else?" Taehyung asked, but Jungkook smiled and denied. He had more than he could've ever asked for if he was being honest.

All while this happened, the two male hybrids chatting away actively, the small fox hybrid saw her chance to strike. Modern pet hybrids didn't hear her usually, and both of them seemed to be of the sorts- even though she could smell something weird on the black haired one. Her own snarling stomach however made her stop thinking, slowly inching forwards until her small hand was able to reach the white plastic bag with the rest of the food still packed for the other ones home- until the dark haired one whipped his head around.

It all happened so fast, the girl snatching the bag and running for her life- quite literally, because Jungkook completely ignored Taehyung shouting at him to stop and come back, his mind running on autopilot. She was stealing, from him, from his pack, and he had to get her. Deep in his brain he knew she probably didn't meant any harm, but his instincts did the thinking for now, his long legs easily catching up to her much smaller form. Grabbing the straps of her honestly pretty torn dress, he yanked her backwards, making her fall on the ground with a loud noise. He threw himself over her, his body hovering, hands holding her struggling ones in a strong grip while his legs tried to keep her from kicking. Only when he heard Taehyung whimpering for him to not do anything, he looked up, noticing the terrified look on his friend's face. He looked down again much calmer now, taking in her appearance for the first real time. Her clothes were a mix of things; two differently colored overknee socks, shoes that looked not to be her size at all, but laces bound around her ankles to keep them from slipping. Her dress was white; probably, because the dirt stuck to it colored it all shades of colors. The fabric was torn at the seams, the entire thing not fitting her at all. But neither her clothing, nor the skinny appearance or the bruises and fading cuts caught his attention. It were her hybrid features.

Her ears, turned backwards so hard they seemed to be wanting to dissappear into her skull were a dirty white, rimmed with pitchblack. Her tail swishing back and forth underneath her was puffed with panic, probably white underneath all the dirt with a greyish black stripe on it. The fur was tangled, parts matted- he knew what this meant. She was probably either feral, or came from a place he knew all too well. "I'm gonna let go. Try to run and I will catch you again." Jungkook spoke lowly, and suddenly the small female went completely still, apart from her shivering, which was probably due to her inner panic and fear. Taehyung watched, wanting to get closer, but choosing to stay a respecting few steps away, too scared he might make her want to flee again. "What's your name?" Jungkook asked after he had sit up on his heels, arms crossed in front of him. Her scent gave her away to him; he already noticed she was a predator hybrid as well. When she didn't answer, he sighed. "Do you even have one?" He asked, his entire posture turning more sympathetic towards her once she finally shook her head in denial. It all made sense to him, even to Taehyung who'd never known such situations himself luckily.

Said hybrid jumped a little when his phone rang, Namjoons ID making him answer. "Hyung?" He answered, before Jungkook held out his hand for the device, Taehyung understanding. "Hyung, Jungkookie wants to talk to you." He said, nodding at something he said over the phone before giving it to his younger brother, wary not to move to fast so you wouldn't flinch too much.

"I'm gonna bring someone home." He simply said, looking at the girl in front of him. In no way in hell he would let her just walk off like that, knowing where she probably came from. He knew this could very well be overstepping a line for him in his new home, but Namjoon simply saying that it was okay and asking if he should set out another plate for food. Jungkook chose not to say anything about her condition yet, knowing it would be rude for him to talk about her like that now. He simply said his goodbyes, giving Taehyung his phone back, before slowly standing up, picking up his plastic bag along the way. "Come on." He said, taking off his zip hoodie to give to her, helping her hide her pretty beat up form in his big clothing. She seemed wary at first, not trusting the entire situation yet, but choosing the jacket after a moment of thinking it over. Taehyung smiled at her comfortingly, but keeping his distance, not knowing how to react. He'd been like that with jungkook at first too, unsure and shy almost. Jungkook however seemed calm, giving him reassurance that at least one of them knew how to handle the situation.

Things however took a turn once he noticed the girl next to him paling even more than she already had; breath turning uneven and eyes suddenly closing, she fell to her knees first before Jungkook could react. "What do we do?" Taehyung asked with a bit of panic in his tone, Jungkook now looking like he was out of answers as well, before picking her up and carrying her back home.

Luckily for them, the park they were at wasn't that far away, making it easy and fast to reach the large house rather quick. Opening the door, Jin started to turn around to greet them, before he noticed the unconscious figure in the arms of the wolf hybrid, automatically shooing both inside and turning off the stove before telling them to put her on the couch.

"What happened?" He asked, but Taehyung was talking so fast his brain couldn't process all of the information at once, making him simply nod. "Who is she?" But at this question, both fell silent. None of them knew for sure, Namjoon walking downstairs after hearing all the commotion, the rest of the hybrids slowly following, concerned faces everywhere.

"I don't know. She said she doesn't have a name. I've seen her before though." Jungkook simply stated, making everyone frown at the realization what he meant. She probably came from the same company as him, shipped illegally and living with a highly possible abusive owner. Just like him.

Namjoon kneeled down in front of the couch, softly inspecting her hybrid features, careful not to wake her. "From what I see I would say fox hybrid." He stated, standing up and crossing his arms.

"But her ears aren't red!" Jimin, the cat hybrid asked timidly from his spot near the couch at her feet, feeling concerned at her lack of movement. Namjoon smiled a bit, placing a hand reassuringly on top of his head.

"They don't always have to be. Foxes have different breeds and colors as well." He said, and Jimin seemed as entranced as ever. The young cat hybrid always liked to almost soak up every bit of knowledge Namjoon gave him like a sponge, though he was known to be pretty forgetful due to an accident he had as a small kitten.

"I'd say lets bring her in our guest room, let her sleep, and after she wakes up, we'll see what we do." Jin stated, making everyone nod. To wait was the best answer for now.

Waking up honestly never felt so pleasant as now. Something that should've set you at ease, but it did the exact opposite; not knowing where you were plus the lack of consciousness after just waking up made your fur stand up, and your body shooting out of the bed into the nearest corner. Accidentally pushing down a small table lamp in the process made all hybrids and humans react; a soft knock was heard on the closed door, asking for entrance. But you couldn't answer, even if you wanted to.

The door opened hesitantly, a cat hybrid with black ears and Sandy brown hair making it's way inside gently, before sitting down with his back pressed against the closed door lazily. He seemed calm, collected, but you couldn't read his intentions. He didnt talk; he maybe knew you wouldn't answer anyways.

A long staring contest followed, or maybe he was just waiting for your heavy breathing to calm down, because as soon as he felt you were calm enough he spoke. "If you're hungry, we're having dinner." Noticing your surprised face he had to swallow the chuckle bubbling in his throat. "Its almost noon. Just so you know." He said, and noticed how your cheeks turned pink in embarrassment. He slowly stood up, opening the door to walk outside, but leaving it open. Leaving the choice to you.

After a moment or two, you slowly stood up, legs still a bit wobbly. You didnt know your way around the entire house, but your ears caught noise from downstairs- a lot of voices mixing together. It felt odd to you- where were the guards? Slowly trying to find your way downstairs (you've never really walked stairs before, neither up or down for that matter) your movement stopped as soon as you noticed eyes on you. Holding onto the banisters, you felt insecure, not daring to move another inch. You heard a chair scrape on the tiled floor, and someone stepping up to you. Closing your eyes you got ready to be scolded- this had been a test hadn't it? But as you opened one eye to peak, a hand was held in front of you. "Come on." The gentle voice sounded a bit familiar, and the face was very much so. The boy with the dark curly hair from the park stood one step below you, a gentle spark in his eyes. Slowly taking his much larger hand, you both made your way down the stairs carefully, him always stopping and taking it slow and steady so you wouldnt fall.

"Ah, sit down! I'm Jimin!" Said hybrid cat told you excitedly while pointing to his side, an empty chair waiting for you. His multi colored feline features gave his entire feelings away, and you internally found it a bit cute if you were honest. You looked at the chair for a second, and looked around after a bit as if to ask for permission first. A tall man with broad shoulders and a very handsome face nodded with a smile, and you sat down as quietly as you could. Jimin immediately started to fill your plate with food, your eyes sparkling at the view in front of you; never having received such amounts of nice smelling and looking foods before. Looking up, you felt awkward, yet once everyone around you started to eat too, you took the nod from the handsome stranger again as a form of permission. But there was a problem.

You'd never used cutlery before.

Sensing your trouble, the dog hybrid on your other side (the same one from the park) started to cut up your food into bite size pieces, before he gave you a fork, holding his as well to give you an example on how to hold it. You had to try a few times but eventually made it; the smile of everyone sensing a funny feeling through your body. You had to restrain yourself from reacting too boldly, but if you could you wouldve jumped in your spot at how delicious it was. However, the speed you were eating in gave away how nice it was. The dog hybrid with the marbled floppy ears chuckled a bit while cutting up more food for you and loading your plate until you gave him a sign to stop.

Slowly, one of the two humans stood up collecting the dishes; another odd thing. Why didnt they tell their hybrids to do that? You stood up and attempted to help, when a hand was placed on your shoulder- warm and gentle. "Ah, we'll handle it. Do you maybe want to take a bath?" The handsome human told you, and your eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, obviously asking if he was serious. He smiled at you and nodded. "Do you want someone to help you?" Yiu nodded, not really knowing your way around, your eyes spotting the dark curly hair from the couch, he however wasnt looking at you. The human caught your stare however, turning around. "Jungkook, can you help our friend here run a bath? Oh, and maybe jimin has some clothing that'll fit her-" he said, but Jungkook had already stood up, walking over to you.

The bathroom was large, and as you sat on the closed toilet just how Jungkook had instructed you to do so while he turned on the water, you took the opportunity to look around. How long does it take to clean the entire thing? Would you be in charge of that? But the others didnt have to do the dishes either, so maybe this was one of those homes one of the domestic puppy's had talked about at the mansion. As if he could sense your thoughts, Jungkook started to talk while he poured a nice smelling purple liquid into the water, making it foam. "We dont have to actually work here y'know." He started, and you listened to him with a bit of confusion. He didnt push it though. "I'll leave you to it now... if you need help just uh.. call me or Someone or whatever." He said and walked out after turning the water off. You sat there for a bit, not knowing if you could do anything, but deciding to just go for it. Stripping your clothes you gently got into the tub, warmth surrounding you as well as a nice flowery scent. You happily started to wash yourself, not caring for a moment as you rubbed your ears and tail clean of all the grime that had piled up, grinning once the fur started to turn white and black again, the dirt finally coming off. Washing your hair you finished off, stepping out and wrapping a towel around you.

Opening the door you peaked around the corner, until you softly called out for the wolf. You thought he maybe didnt hear you, but suddenly you heard feet stepping upstairs and soon he stood in front of you, holding some clothes out. "Here." He said, and at your look of confusion he simple looked to the side, almost as if he was embarrassed. "They're uh.. mine. I- so you can- I mean baggy clothes are comfortable so, yeah.." he said, and you smiled at that, his eyes suddenly widening at the view he got. This was the first smile he'd ever seen you display, and he couldn't help but feel his heart rate increase.

You changed into his clothing before finally coming downstairs, a bit slow but finally without any help, looking a bit awkward. Someone cooing at you made you look in the direction of the sound, spotting the living room it seemed, all hybrids and humans sitting down. The puppy hybrid with the marbled ears had turned around on the couch, looking at you, while the other tall human came to you, towel and brush in hand. "Come on, before you catch a cold." He said, patting his lap for you to sit on. You hesitated for a moment, until you finally sat down, your back facing him. "I'm Namjoon by the way." He said, until he pointed to the broad shouldered man sitting on the other couch. "This is Seokjin. He's the eldest, kind of the head of the family." He stated, gently drying your hair with a towel before he started to dry your ears as well. "Taehyung and Jungkook were the ones you met at the park." Pointing towards the marble eared puppy hybrid and the wolf sitting next to him. "You already met Jimin. Next to him is Yoongi, the one who called you for dinner." He stated, before he pointed to the one who seemed to hold back his excitement the most as if not to scare you. "And that's Hoseok. Hes kinda quiet because he tends to get a bit loud. We dont want to scare you." The towel felt soft against your features, until he took a brush to run it through your hair. "What kind are you?" He gently asked, to which you answered on a quiet voice.

"A marble fox." You stated, everyone listening closely because of how quiet you spoke.

Namjoon nodded, visibly interested, but keeping it in for now. "Do you need anything specific concerning your diet?" He asked, and you shook your head. Not that you'd know. Until now, hybrid pellets were your best bet concerning food. "I see. I know you probably dont want to talk about it, but it's important." He started, turning your around so you sat sideways on his lap. "Do you want to go back to your owner?" He simply asked, and by the way your ears instantly turned backwards, everyone knew the answer. Jimin instantly moved forwards, reaching out to pat your head gently, making your eyes widen at the gesture.

"We wont make you go back. She can stay, cant she Joon?" Jimin asked, looking hopeful at his owner. The calico hybrid had always been extremely social and clingy towards people he liked, and it showed; he took a liking to you, letting you go would prove difficult now. That was one of the many reasons he'd ended up in a shelter; his high maintenance nature and need for attention made him not an easy pet. He felt for you.

"Its not that simple Jiminie, but well try our best." He said, sharing a glance with his husband on the other couch. They'd have to find out if you were in any database first, and after that Jin could start collecting necessary documents for your adoption.

"Wait, wait!" Taehyubg suddenly said, making everyone look up to him, until he sat down in front of you. "You dont have a name right?" You said, making everyone gasp a bit, apart from Jungkook who knew already. "Then we'll give you one!" He said, looking around, and everyone started thinking. Giving a name to a hybrid was a huge thing; after all, you'd be carrying this forever. You started to get a bit nervous, everyone trying out names until Jungkook spoke up, gaze straight on you.

"Y/N."

And for one once, everyone instantly agreed.

The next morning started slow. You found out that both humans, Seokjin and namjoon didnt work on weekends, and took the time off to spend time with everyone. It felt a bit foreign not knowing what your exact purpose was.

"Master Seokjin?" You asked as you sat on one of the kitchen chairs to watch him cook. He turned around a bit before answering.

"Jin is fine, really. That title is.. really not necessary. We're all equal." He spoke in a gentle tone, and you noted not to call him that anymore.

"What is my purpose in this household?" You questioned with great curiosity, and Jin was close to answering until a hand was placed on your head.

"Being cute." Yoongi answered before sitting on the kitchen board, making seokjin shake his head a bit, because he wasnt supposed to, but did it anyways. "We all dont really have a job or anything. We help around the house here and there, Jimin takes care of the garden for example, Taehyung has his pet bunnies outside, and so on. It's more like a hobby though." He explained while continuously stealing pieces of bacon from jin.

"But.."you started, frowning a bit. "Why have hybrids then?"

"Because, we wanted to. Companionship. Simple as that." Jin answered, before ushering Yoongi out the kitchen, who just smirked as he walked out lazily. How he could get away with his behavior was a mystery to you. Just as you wanted to ask something however, a yawn interrupted you. You woke up early again today, a habit you would find hard to get over.

The wolf with the long hair came in, picking you up without asking at all. "Yah, Jungkookie, you cant just carry her around like a ragdoll!" Jin said, the Saif wolf however just shrugged and walked out, putting you down the couch before laying down himself, arms around you.

"Jungkook.?" You gently asked, but he made a sound to silence you.

"Naptime." He simply said, putting his leg over yours for good measure, as if he wanted to make sure you wouldnt escape. During those two days the wolf had been constantly around you, always keeping an eye out for you, making sure you didnt get uncomfortable. It felt as if he'd unofficially claimed you as his, a fact that felt a bit weird to you. There was nothing to claim. You were a used product, still unsure and constantly confused. But before your thoughts could fall any deeper, the gently sound of his heartbeat against your back made you fall asleep.

Shopping was something that was foreign, again. You knew how it worked of course, but you'd never been out before to buy things- and for you for that matter. You slowly got used to your name however, your brain inking the sound into your memories, so that you'd never forget it again. People seemed so carefree, your companions happy and joking around, Jungkook never daring to let go of your hand, as if he was scared to loose you, and to be fair, a lot of people were out this time.

"You okay?" He asked once he noticed you staring around, and you nodded, looking up to him, since you were a good bit shorter.

"Yeah. It's just.. a lot to take in." You said, while he looked at clothing. "Do you think I.." you started, and he looked at you, urging you to continue. "Stay? Like, could I stay with you.. and your family?"

He smiled at that, squeezing the hand he was holding a bit. "I'll do everything I can to make that happen." His words made your tail sway a bit, the first real time it happened, and Jungkook cooed internally at the sight. And although he didnt voice it out, he made a promise to get more reactions like that out of you.

Together everyone made their way home after everything was bought, you sitting next to Jungkook and Tae on both sides. Things like these were still exhausting for you, causing you to eventually fall asleep, your ears tickling Taehyungs neck a bit. He looked down on you, trying to burn the image into his mind. You looked so peaceful, angelic even, he couldn't explain it.

Deciding not to wake you he unbuckled your seatbelt, slowly moving you out the car and carrying you inside the house. As soon as he laid you on the couch and tried to walk away however, your hand grabbed his pants, gently tugging to get him back. He smiled and complied, hugging you on the couch happily; you seemed to open up to everyone one by one, making him exhale with fondness.

"Come on, let's get you to bed then." He gently said, as everyone around you said their good nights and walked upstairs into their rooms.

"Can I.." you started, but slowly stood up without finishing, making Taehyung grab your hand this time, tables having turned with him keeping you from walking away now. "I.. uh, you can say no, but maybe I could like... sleep in your room.?" You asked, not looking at him out of embarrassment. His reaction however, was a smile so bright and boxy you swore you could've melted right there on the spot.

"Of course cuddlebug. come on!"

"This is bad." Namjoon mumbled, carrying an opened letter in his hand while carding his unoccupied hand through his hair. Seokjin looked at him with worry, walking towards him to catch a glimpse of whatever he'd been reading.

Earlier that day, they've gone out for breakfast, jimin suggesting you should ge used to being outside more. Since Jungkook was someone who slept long, Taehyung and Jimin had taken you out instead, happy to get the surprisingly clingy wolf off of you for a few hours. Needless to say, the canine hybrid however wasnt too happy to find you missing when he woke up, a little jealousy mixed with worry making him fussy until you finally came back.

The news in this letter however weren't too good. Apparently, your old owner has taken notice that you've been sheltered at his place without his consent, asking for a date to quote unquote "return his property" as he stated, making both humans scrunch up their faces with disgust at the wording. Jin has had his suspicions about you being treated poorly in the past, and it seems like he was right about it.

"Should we tell her?" Namjoon asked, not sure if it was something you genuinely should know yet. Maybe there was a way to get you out of this without making everyone feel uneasy or restless. They both didnt want you to go back to that place, having already locked you into their hearts. They also thought you deserved to know, making both worry. However, a deep voice startlet both.

"Tell her what?" Jungkook asked, eyes glazed over with something they couldn't quite place. "Huh?" He said again, getting impatient. He was easy to rile up in general, but with you he seemed to be especially touchy. Jin simply gave him the letter that was in question, and the wolf immediately widened his eyes, looking back at them. "He cant be serious. We wont let her go back there." He said, scoffing, but looking darkly at his friends when there was no answer. "Right?" He asked, but there still was no reaction other than uncomfortable silence.

"Jungkook it's not that easy-" but he was soon interrupted by the young wolf.

"Are you mental?! Dont tell me you're actually giving her away like what?!" He raged out, heart racing with the fear that he could be separated from you. "She trusts you hyung! You cant be serious.!" He said, getting quieter the more their silence stretched.

The main reason was that they legally had no ownership. They couldn't afford going against authorities with the other hybrids in their possession, they had to think about what was best after all. And jungkook deep down knew as well- but he considered you a part of his pack already. Loosing you would hurt alone. But losing you to an abusive situation would drive him insane.

The door opened, happy voices cutting threw the heavy atmosphere in the house, but before they could reach the three, jungkook dashed into his room, needing to cool down. Both jimin and Taehyung looked at their owners confused, but the only thing they could do was sigh. This was a difficult situation. And the outcome could be horrible.

You knew something was up.

The atmosphere had changed, both humans were starting to grow distant from you, keeping a safe bubble around them you couldn't seem to join. Slowly but surely, even though you had a small glimmer of hope this wouldnt happen, you realized what was going on.

They wanted you gone. But they just didnt know how to tell you.

So what was the best thing to do in a situation like that? Exactly. Take away the burden of decision making, and do it for them. Softly folding your clothes, you made sure to leave your room as tidy and clean as possible, as a form of thank you for their hostility. You didnt hold a grudge against them; they had to take care of a lot of wonderful hybrids already. You were a burden that needed to be lifted. Slipping on a red beanie that you may or may not have stolen from jungkook, along with some warmer clothes since it was winter, you opened the window. Walking outside the door was absolutely impossible, since it creaked a bit every time it opened, but the window wasnt a problem to climb out of.

As soon as your shoes (timberlands, a thing that jungkook always cooed over because they looked tiny compared to his own pair) touched the soft crunchy leaves that weren't covered in snow, you breathed in. You made it this far. You could go even farther as well. You believed in that.

Meanwhile, jin stirred in his sleep a little, cold icy air hitting his exposed feet. Did he forget to turn the heater on? No, it smelled like fresh air, even though his bedroom windows were closed. It took him a sleepy moment to make a very scary thought creep until his mind. Instantly getting up and walking until the hallway, opening your bedroom window, his fear became a reality he hoped to turn out as a mere dream. But the soft wind accompanied by small snowflakes making it's way into the empty room was easy too real. And he swore he could hear his heart crack like glass as soon as he heard the broken growl behind him, not needing to turn around to know whose it was. Namjoon tried to calm the wolf down, but it only caused him to be even louder, luring a tired Taehyung, and even Yoongi out of their sleep.

"Whe-where is she.?" Taehyung slowly asked, fearing the answer he'd get. He knew he cared deeply for you, but jimin would simply be heartbroken by the fact that you left. But before Namjoon could explain, since Jin was still simply staring, frozen, Jungkooks dark voice cut through.

"Gone. Just like they wanted." He said, suddenly speedwalking down the stairs, slipping on his shoes and throwing over a jacked, dashing out, blinded by rage and fear for you. He didn't even hear his friends yelling for him to come back; his mind running on autopilot, his only mission:

Getting you back.

Warapped up in one of Taehyungs oversized coats, walking along the streets littered with cafes, you wondered if leaving was really the best idea. How could you really have gotten attached so fast though? It wasnt really like you, considering your past experiences with humans, and other hybrids as well.

Pulling the red beanie a little down to make sure it covered you well, you decided to make a trip back to the very park you first met the large family. It felt odd to be back, knowing what had happened- and how far you've come. You had actual clothing now, some snacks in your pockets to keep you going for a while, and some newfound energy you didn't even think you could have. Deep down you had known all along that a future wasn't in it for you; this family was a well established pack already- it felt rather rude to intrude for you. But maybe now you could actually maybe approach people a bit better after coming out of your shell a bit- but the more you thought about it, the less it felt appealing to you.

Because no matter how kind a person would be, jimin would've been so much kinder. No matter how happy someone would make you, Hoseok could've made you smile so much brighter. No matter how smart someone would be, Namjoon could've shown you so much more in this world. No matter how tight someone would hug you, Taehyungs hugs would've felt so much better. No matter how calm a silence would be, Yoongi's would've felt so much more comforting to you. No matter how well someone would take care of you, Jin would've mothered you even worse.

And no matter how much someone would try to make you feel safe, Jungkook would've made you feel so much more protected. As if nothing could ever hurt you in this world.

You sniffled a bit, noticing your eyes stinging with tears that threatened to spill from your dark thoughts alone. But thats what you felt like; for the first time in a long while, you truly felt alone. And it wasn't a nice feeling. If back in the day loneliness comforted you because it was better than being with 'him', it now felt suffocating. You felt small, tiny, and truly vulnerable. And you hated it.

You shook your head, scouting out a place to spend the night without getting noticed by authorities. It was back to your old habits again, your knowledge about the surrounding area and how to survive out here helping you to fit back into your situation again.

However; together with your old situation came an old perso as well, his greeting sending cold shivers down your spine- and that had nothing to do with the flaky-breeze the winter brought.

"There you are."

Somewhere in Seoul, a distressed wolf was almost running down the streets during the early morning hours, his skin running hot even considering the freezing temperatures. But this only added to his worries.

Were you scared? Cold? Hungry? Or worse?

What if you got hurt?

Where would you sleep?

His mind automatically pictured the worst; you, hiding somewhere, cold, distressed, and all alone, vulnerable to every predator around. He knew deep down that you were strong, that you probably wore clothes to keep you warm, you were smart enough to think before you acted, but his instincts wouldn't let him rest at all. He almost jumped at a heaving Yoongi; the cat wasn't really used to running after the way more active Wolf hybrid, but he had to- if someone saw him running wild without anyone with him, they would have even more problems at hand than just you. "Jungkook-" He began, but before he could even get another word out, the younger Hybrid grabbed his shoulders, his eyes sparkling with fear, showing their bare, reddish-brown color, a sign that he was slipping into a very dangerous headspace for a predator hybrid.

"Hyung, she's out there- she- what if someone gets her? What if her old owner finds her, you know how bad it was where she came from, what if she gets hurt, and I'm not there to help her, I'm supposed to protect her, I-" He was breathing heavily, his eyes opening wide with the fear that his own words began to fire up in his chest.

"Jungkook, we'll find her-" But namjoon may not have been the best person to speak up in that current moment, and Yoongi thanked whoever god was in charge that day, because thankfully the streets were empty this early in the morning.

Because as soon as Jungkook heard his owners voice, his entire body changed in posture- he was ready to jump him. Thankfully Jin had arrived as well, rushing to hold the alpha back while he wasn't thinking straight and yelling at the person he should be able to trust with his entire being. But in this moment, Namjoon seemed to be his worst enemy. "Its your fault! You wanted this didn't you?! Admit it, you're glad she took the decision off your way too high shoulders and decided to make it easy for you!" He yelled, his body language basically screaming hostility. "Its because you're always right- but you never make decisions do you! You only follow rules if others follow with you, and you only run with whatever shit someone seems to spit, you're a coward!" He said, slowly calming down since his body was getting tired. He hadn't been this riled up in a long time- the stress finally taking a toll on him now.

Jin and Yoongi managed to get him back inside the car, leaving Namjoon and Jimin alone. The cat hybrid had followed along as soon as he heard that you left them so suddenly- he was distressed about it as well, but he worried about his entire family situation too. He nodded towards Yoongi, who made a gesture to tell him they'd bring Jungkook back home where Taehyung and Hoseok were waiting as well- having the alpha hybrid running wild while not being in the best state of mind wasn't the best idea. It could also prove getting you back difficult as well, seeing as you were still pretty skittish whenever he was getting only a bit louder when playing video games with Taehyung.

"Lets go back to the park. Maybe she's gonna stay in an area she considers familiar? I know I would.." Jimin said softly, gently tugging at the sleeve of Namjoons jacket, to get him to move. But he had troubles concentrating, Jungkooks voice echoing inside his mind almost hauntingly. He knew that deep down it was just his distressed wolf speaking, but maybe this was what he really thought of him. And the worst part was that he wasn't even wrong about it. Maybe he was a coward. He was insecure, and he shouldn't be. Not as a person, not as a lover, not as an owner, and not in his field of work. But he shook his head, nodding at Jimin who slowly started walking into the direction of the park.

Namjoon couldn't hold it in on their way as they walked towards the place they had initially met you- or in this case, where Taehyung and Jungkook met you. "Do you think he's right?" He asked softly, not looking at jimin, and trying to look at every corner in front of him to maybe spot you.

"You know how he gets Joonie." Jimin began softly, his red bucket hat hiding his ears, but he could see them move slighty under it. "He wasn't in the best state of mind. I think he was just.. out of it I guess." He said, his senses trying to notice something he could identify as you.

But namjoon only sighed. "But he had a point, no?" He began, his brows furrowing while thinking about it. "He may have blown his thoughts out of proportion, but the root of them was there. I know he's right. But I don't know why it bothers me so much." He said, his steps getting harder as they began to walk on grassy grounds, finally reaching the park.

"That's because its you. You hate it when other people are right." Jimin chuckled, making his statement appear less sharp than it was. "But that's you, and that's why you're so good at anything involving your brain. You and Jungkook are pretty similar; you both hate loosing." He said, his smile spreading as he spotted a familiar coat near a streetlight. However, his pupils became slits in distress, his mind slipping just like Jungkooks as soon as he noticed your body language- you stood in front of a person, a stranger, and your entire being screamed fear at him, making him taste the bitter flavour even though he wasn't in your place. "joonie-" He said, but the man in question was already walking foward.

"Hey, what're you doing?" He said rather loudly, his voice sharp edged, not leaving any room for a smile. The man simply turned towards him, holding his hand out.

"Ah, you're the person that took it in right? I assume because you look quite like the Kim Namjoon I saw on your profile picture while we where in contact via E-Mail." He said, his voice full of a weird sense of pride, making Jimin step back a little. He desperately wanted to get to you, but his fear was getting the better of him, instinctively hiding behind his owner.

"That's right." Namjoon simply said, but refraining from shaking the man's hand. He wanted nothing to do with this person, knowing what kinds of businesses he was involved into, you quite possibly having been a part of this too. Because this had been why he had been so hesitant in answering Jungkook. It was difficult to go against someone of that size, and they needed to think about their actions before actually doing anything. But again Jungkooks words rang inside his ears. He wouldn't stay a coward in this situation. He had the law in his favor. "I also advice you to step away from her because, as you should know, hybrids get anxious when someone other than their owners are too close to them." He said, making the man scoff.

Jimin wanted to lash out as he harshly grabbed the end of your tail making you squeak in pain and him laugh, Namjoons face contorting slowly with growing anger. "Ah yes, but we both know how the situation is. That's my property, and therefore mine to take back. I do thank you for keeping her in your apartment and feeding her, but I have business to attend to."

The cat hybrid was silently crying now, his sympathetic character making him feel just as much distress as you felt, the man still keeping a tight hold of your tail- something you hated as you had told Jimin many times before. He felt helpless- but Namjoon would surprise everyone, just like every time.

He simply took out his phone, tapping a bit here and there before opening a document, holding it towards the stranger. "Legally she is mine currently since you're under official surveilance involving several issues we won't get in too deep. Now, would you mind letting go of my hybrid sir?" He simply said, voice calm.

The man simply scoffed, pushing you forward onto the gravel, making you hiss as you felt your nice jeans scratch open, revealing your knees which scraped open as well on the ground, along with your hands that tried to soften the blow. Jimin dashed foward now, not caring if the man was close to him or not, immediately shielding your body from anyone around him, softly purring in order to calm you, and himself down. The man simply left, Namjoon softly walking over to both his hybrids, patting Jimin's back to get him to reveal you towards him.

He made you sit down, the cold seeping into you but you didnt care- your hands and feet stung, making you tear up. But the reason you were crying was because you were both upset and relieved- maybe there was a chance of staying with them, even if it was just for a while longer. "Can I look at it?" He asked softly, and you just sniffeled, nodding. Namjoon knew it was a bad moment, but he couldn't help but admire you in that moment. Even with a runny nose, all red from crying and the cold, eyes shiny with tears, you had that adorable pouty face making him melt. He observed your scraped up knees and hands, softly brushing over them to at least get most of the dirt out before helping you get up. "Lets go home, yeah? You scared everyone to death." He said, laughing a bit to lift the mood. Jimin, still a bit teary as well, held your arm, since your hands still hurt from the incident. Jungkoo would run wild seeing you hurt, but he would eventually calm down, hopefully. Both Jimin and Namjoon hoped first however, that he left the apartment standing.

"It's never gonna be the same Taehyung." Jungkook said still angry, sitting on the living room couch with his head in his hands. The Dog hybrid had managed to at least calm him down a little, but overall there was still a rather dark mood surrounding everyone. Tae himself was sad as well, however he pushed his own feelings back in order to at least not fuel the fire even more. The front door jingled a bit with the sound of someone inserting a key, and at first, no one really did anything- until Jungkook got hit with your scent, his head snapping up at the sound of you-

sniffling.

Where you crying? One look towards you confirmed that you were, his mind running on autopilot as soon as he saw those glassy orbs looking at him. He jumped over the back of the couch, almost tripping over the carpet and his own shoes he simply had taken off mindlessly, immediately observing you to look for injuries. "What happened?!" He said in a rush, his large hands taking your small ones in his, hissing at the scratches on the inside of your palms.

"Come on Jungkook, I need to treat y/n first, then we can talk." Namjoon said, Jimin helping you take off your jacket and leading you to the bathroom downstairs. Jungkook followed silently, his pack instincts simply refusing to get him to leave you out of his sight for even a moment. He sat down in front of the open bathroom door with his legs crossed, watching as Jimin made you sit on the closed toilet seat, Namjoon getting a small towel and filling the sink with warm water, beginning to slowly clean up your cuts and scrapes from any dirt and gravel. Every time you hissed, Jimins ears twitched and Jungkook sat up straighter to get a look at you- not because he didn't trust namjoon, but because he just had to make sure you were okay.

Namjoon took out some larger bandaids and placed them onto your knees since they were actually bleeding, but simply brushed over the backs of your hands when he was done. "Try not to do much with them okay? Its better if we leave them like that. It'll heal faster." He said, and you nodded, still a bit pouty and awfully quiet, but everyone could see your interest in the scent that slowly began to creep through the apartment; jin's cooking. "Alright buttercup, go get changed and then let's eat, alright?" He said, silently telling you that you both would talk in private soon. You knew he had made a decision, and you hoped it was for you, not against.

Jungkook stood up, stepping aside so you all could walk outside, Taehyung running towards you and hugging you tightly. "Don't do that again." He mumbled, and you nodded, your own cheeks growing a bit red at the close proximity. "Lets go! Jin made your favorite!" He said, and you followed behind him.

"Hyung-" Jungkook started, thinking about how to apologize, since it was needed, but the older one beat him to it.

"It's fine Jungkook. It maybe wasn't the best moment, but you were right. I guess I can't leave the protecting-part solely to you, huh?" He said, making the young alphawolf scoff and playfully push his shoulder.

After you all ate, you slowly went outside the kitchen after helping jin a bit, even though he scolded you for using your hands. Suddenly, someone came up in front of you, wrapping his own hands around your tiny form compared to him, and burying his nose into your head between your ears, the soft fur of them brushing against his cheeks, making him sigh happily. "You're part of my pack you brat." He mumbled into your hair, squeezing you a bit tighter while careful not to hurt you. "I don't like people taking away whats mine." He said again, and suddenly, he heard the rest of his family coo at him and you, making him raise an eyebrow. He had hugged you before, so what? But then he noticed it too.

The happy wagging of your tail.

This have been 5 Chapters, combined in one post. Because R0ADKiLL's chapters are fairly short I've decided to make one out of them, simply to get you all on the same page of the stories progress up until now. The writing officially belongs to R0ADKiLL, not me. Only future chapters are mine. =) Thanks again to R0ADKiLL for giving me her baby practically, I promise I'll take care of it!

[kgyeomiex]

Just For A Little Bit (M)

“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives”

Summary: That night was just suppose to be nothing but careless fun, but after drinking shot after shot that night was your first time having a one-night stand. What did you have to worry about? 99% of the time you never see the person you sleep with again… right? WRONG. What will happen when your past comes back to life to haunt you again?

Previous Parts:

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10

Part 11 is here~

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right about now you were regretting ever opening your mouth. Maybe you should have waited to see why Mino was mad at you in the first place… Looks like it’s way too late for that.

To be honest you didn’t feel regretful to let Mino know about Bobby and you, however, you did feel bad for Bobby. He probably wanted to tell Mino in his way and instead, you just put him on blast.

“What did you just say?” Mino asks not breaking eye contact with you at all…

Well, the damage is done. Instead of finding out why the hell he was acting petty in the first place, you now have to explain yourself.

“Was that not it?” you were debating what to tell Mino exactly.

“Are you telling me that you are cheating on me with someone I consider my best friend?” You wanted to admit to the truth and say yes but you didn’t want to stoop at his level.

“No… Well…” you were trying to think of a way to give Mino the bad news.

Originally you came here hoping to fix what this was but after seeing the way Mino has been acting like he’s hiding something you suddenly didn’t care. You felt angrier than upset.

“You know what yeah I did,”

Mino looked speechless.

“Bobby and I hooked up before you and I met. If I am being honest, I never expected to see him again because it was just a one-night stand, but little did we know we came across one another because of you. I had no intentions of cheating on you but if I am being honest, we did share a kiss eventually while we were dating,” you said looking Mino right into his eyes.

You have no idea how you suddenly were gaining the courage to say such things. You did not break eye contact once.

You were waiting for Mino to say something or even react but all he did was stare at you.

“Are you going to say anything? I just gave you a reason to be mad,” Mino began to look around and then back at you.

“You know what, I have every right to be mad. The reason I didn’t want you around in the first place is because you changed Y/N. You’re not the person I used to know… And now I know why,” you were suddenly feeling guilty for cheating on Mino, but it was too late to take anything back now.

“Changed? What do you mean?” You were beyond confused about where this was all of a sudden coming from.

“When we first started to go out you and I was happy. We actually spent time together regardless of my busy schedule. You put the effort into our relationship and wanted to do activities together. We had a conversation with one another and enjoyed one another's company… But the moment you started to become friends with Bobby that all changed and now I know why. Everything makes sense yet again,” Mino looked beyond angry.

His eyes were watery, but he was preventing himself from crying. You would be lying if you were to say that you didn’t feel like a shit human being of a person.

You were in love with Mino… At least you thought you were but if you were in love with Mino you wouldn’t have hurt him the way you did,

“Mino…” He backed up and looked at you.

“You know what… I was starting to feel bad for mistreating you because I thought I was just being a jealous fucking boyfriend but now I don’t regret what I did. I could have slept with someone behind your back if I fucking wanted to but instead, I decided to distance myself a little until you were ready to talk,” Mino continued to talk as he continued to make you feel worse than you were already feeling…

“But after all this time I should have given the girls in my DM attention. Instead, I wasted every second being with you for no reason… Not because I’m stupid. I wish you cared enough about me like you said you would. The efforts I put to make you happy, the sacrifices I made, the things I did for you, I had never done for anyone else, and I’d probably never do them again. Yet, I wasn’t good enough for you. You found flaws even in good things. I tried.” You couldn’t say much back because Mino had every right to be mad at you…

“I’m sorry I couldn’t you as much as you loved me… Maybe it’s for the best that we each other go because you’re worth so much more than a girl who could only you with a half a heart…” You said and Mino looks at you and nods.

“I want you to know that after today I want nothing to do with you… I will go to the apartment and pack up my thing now and find somewhere else to be… Because being around you is the last place I want to be,” Mino says looking directly into your eyes and before you could say anything else, he turned around and began to walk off…

To be honest you were expecting this to go down this way… You felt like a shitty human being.

I’m sorry….

~

Bobby’s Point of View

I was feeling uneasy about the whole situation… I don’t know how Mino is going to react when he finds out that Y/N and I have a past… I wonder if he will want anything to do with me after this, after all, we are best friends…

But I have a feeling that we are not going to do much talking after this…

I noticed my phone lighting up. I reached for it and I was expecting to see Y/N’s name show up but instead, I see Mino’s name show up… To be honest I wasn’t sure if this was a good sign or bad. I just knew that I had to talk to Mino.

I answered the call and brought the phone to my ear.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Can we meet up right now?” I already didn’t have a good feeling about this phone call. But I was expecting it.

Honestly, even though this situation was bound to get messy I was happy to address the situation rather than act as nothing happened.

‘Yeah sure,” before that we both hung up and I was out of the door to meet Mino.

~

I looked around and noticed Mino approaching. We both agreed to meet near my apartment. I got up from the bench and walked over to Mino.

As soon as we both were in front of one another, that’s when everything happened quickly… I instantly felt Mino’s fist connect to my cheek and before I knew it, I was on the ground confused about how to react right now.

I looked at Mino and he looked upset… Y/N has finally told him the truth about us two…. More than I expected her to tell.

“So, you heard...” I blurted out reaching out to my cheek making sure it wasn’t going to be bruised up.

“What the fuck Bobby? I thought we were best friends. How dare you fucking go behind my back trying to get with my girl,” I know I was guilty of this. And right now, I could easily make Y/N seem like the bad guy because I am guilty of having other's intentions with the girl.

“It’s nothing personal… It’s not like I was going after her because she was your girl. I did meet her before you...” I said and that’s when I realized what I am saying was not saving me in any way shape or form.

“So just because you met her first makes it okay for you to make moves on her?”

If I was Mino to at least be cordial with me I knew I had to find a way to explain myself in this situation.

I got myself off the group and looked at Mino.

He’s probably going to want to punch me again, but I was ready to deal with the consequences of my action.

“Listen I had no intentions of catching feelings for her in the first place. When Y/N and I first met it was supposed to be just a one-night stand. You act as you have never experienced that before,” Mino stood quiet and continued to look right at me.

“I wasn’t planning to see her again, she left my place anyways before her, and I could ever say another word to one another. The next thing I know you introduced her as your girlfriend, and I was more attracted to her than I thought. I wasn’t planning to make any moves on her but as we began to hang around one another and next thing I knew things happened... Honestly, the most we did was share a kiss. She had the chance to break up with you and come to me if she wanted but instead, she decided to stop talking to me and tried to work out the relationship with you,” I looked at Mino and instead of showing any facial expression he just looked at me and then looked at the ground.

I have no idea what’s going through his head right now…

“You know what… I want to believe that Y/N has some kind of feeling for me but that’s a lie… Whenever the two of you were in a room together, I saw the way she would look at you it was different compared to the way she looked at me… Sure she might have cared about me but not the way she does about you,” now I was confused.

Mino comes here angry looking for me but now he seems calmer than before. Just as I was about to say something, he cuts me off.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore me and her aren’t together anyways. At the end of the day, I am not going to fight you over some girl… Everything happens for a reason and that’s that,”

I wasn’t sure whether I was going to stop being friends with him or we came to some understanding?

“So, are we cool?”

“I guess we are,”

~

Your Point of View

At this point, you had mixed feelings about the whole situation. Oddly, you felt relieved that you were no longer hiding a secret… Even though Bobby and you stopped talking, you still felt guilty that you were even entertaining another person while being with Mino.

But now what? Now that you’re completely single it’s not like you can run up to Bobby and hope you two can pick up where you left off...

If anything, there is this possibility that Bobby will choose his friends over you and there is nothing wrong with that… But you had to be okay with the fact that this was probably going to be the last time Bobby and you will have any encounter after this…

As you got closer to your apartment you suddenly felt confused about what to do.

Just looking at this place already gives you the feeling that you are going to have to look for a new place to live in… The good memories you did have with Mino here are going to consistently give you flashbacks if you stay here any longer…

There were so many thoughts running in your head… But right now, the only thing you had to do first talked to Bobby before you decide to make any sudden moves…

You pulled out your phone from your pocket and instantly called Bobby…

Here goes nothing…

~

As you stood in front of Bobby, you felt suddenly speechless. How the hell are you supposed to approach this situation. Bobby was standing a couple of feet away looking right at you waiting for you to say something.

“So….” Bobby blurts out and you look at him.

“So….”

“I spoke to Mino…” The moment Bobby mentioned Mino's name for some reason you felt uneasy… You have no idea what the two could have talked about… Do they hate each other because of you?

“Oh…. And what happened?” You knew based on what happened it was going to give you the answers you need.

“He punched me,” shit... This is your fault.

“Bobby I’m so-”

“I deserved it,” you weren’t expecting to hear that come out of his mouth.

“What?”

“I mean what kind of friend falls for this girlfriend?” Did he just say he was falling for you?

“Bobby…” Now that the two of you were sparking up the topic you suddenly felt ready to tell Bobby how you were feeling about everything, but he suddenly cut you off.

“After everything that happened today by itself it had me thinking… One side of me was happy at the fact that you were no longer with Mino… I wanted to go up to you and tell you how I’ve been feeling about you… How I want to spend every minute of every second with you. How I want to be the reason for that smile, and I want to be able to be the one to protect you from anything that comes in sight to hurt you. When we met again after the one-night stand I thought it was fate… I thought there must be a reason why you and I came across one another once again. But today after talking to Mino I realized that although I have these feelings for you…. There must be a reason why you and I didn't work out in the first place,” once Bobby said that you were taken back.

What did you do to suddenly make him change his mind?

“And what reason is that?” You asked, waiting for his response.

“Well, when you and I shared a kiss. I did give you the chance to choose between Mino and I and you chose Mino…. In the beginning, I kept telling myself the reason you didn’t choose me was because you didn’t want to make Mino feel bad that you were going to leave him for me… But now that I think about it maybe I liked you more than you liked me.” Hearing those words came rougher than you were expecting.

How are you supposed to respond to that…?

It wasn’t true. You had feelings for Bobby but feelings for Mino… You were in a sticky situation and didn’t know what to do and what to say without hurting someone.

“Bobby,”

Again, he cuts you off.

“I was planning to come here and maybe see if you and I could maybe start something between us… But now I think it… I think it’s best if we no longer see each other.”

So that’s it? That’s the decision he decided to make on his own.

You were getting ready to tell him how you felt and tell him everything you wanted him to hear but something stopped you… If Bobby wants nothing to do with you then what’s the point? You are just wasting your time.

“So that’s it?” Bobby nodded his head, and you felt the urge to cry but you contained yourself.

“Okay,” you didn’t bother saying anything else.

You just took one look at Bobby and without saying another word you walked off.

Like he says everything happens for a reason…

You didn’t end up with either Bobby or Mino… Instead, you ended up with a broken heart and completely alone.

(Sequel? Maybe? What do you guys think?) 

[imthepunchlord]

I’ma be completely honest right now and say that I don’t think anyone (who follows you and knows/shares your feelings on the specials at least) would mind if you were straight up like “yeah sorry guys the New York and Shanghai specials are non-canon for Off to Italy because I really don’t like the way they handled diversity, worldbuilding, or relationships, and the future Rio and Africa ones are non-canon as well for the same reasons” from the get-go. Like those are such valid reasons to cut something out of a story, and it doesn’t seem too different from cutting out certain episodes or starting from a specific season like a lot of ML fanfics do, especially since the specials feel even more removed from the main canon to begin with because of how the writers decided to handle the ML continuity, AND this frees up a bunch of the kwami animal choices used, which would make things exponentially easier for you like you said in both animal choice and character design by having a visual base to already work off of for the ones you pick.

I also don’t think a majority would take issue with me cutting those out either. Because the things they bring in, lore wise, I don’t see anyone talking about. 

No one is talking about the NA Order, and its existence brings in so many questions. 

So I’m going to put this under cut cause I want to go off. I technically don’t have a right to as I didn’t watch either, but I listened to those who did to get an idea and somethings bother me. 

But first, I think the only thing I saw being talked about was LS stuff in the NY special and HM getting pink Thanosed in Shanghai and that’s it. That’s the only stuff I’ve seen between the two specials. And that’s not good if those are the most iconic things to be brought up. 

Anyway, onto my salt. 

Was the NA Order around when Fu made Feast? Why didn’t he work his way to them to pass the Miracle Box to them? Or did he know they exist? Is the NA Order aware that something happened to the Chinese Order? Presuming that they communicate, did they not reach out with how quiet the Chinese Order was and look into it or try to gather lost miraculouses if they did? 

And then there’s the wonder of the historical context. You can’t just casually reveal there’s an NA Order and Native American miraculouses that brings up a lot of questions as the Native people have experienced a lot of wrongs and sufferings in our history and still are facing issues. What does having confirmed Native miraculous mean for America’s bloody history with Native people? 

And then there’s the Shanghai special, bringing in the Renlings and that’s another can of worms. 

Not only are they another magical set from China, cause you know how magical China exclusively is since all magical stuff comes from them, but these are established coming in before miraculouses and were put away because they were “dangerous”. So, what are kwami views on the renlings and vice versa? And from what I’ve seen and heard, I don’t get how they’re dangerous? And then there’s the issue of their power set up, turning the user into an animal, and you got Fei, a Chinese girl, using it. This adds onto character of color being/becoming inhuman, and this is the 2nd special to do so (with Aeon, our official 2nd black girl to appear, being a robot). And this adds onto poc becoming an animal. 

And there’s Mei Shi, who design wise, as a “kwami” I really I like, but, what is Mei Shi? Is Mei Shi a unique kwami? A renling? Or is Mei Shi a 2nd sort of cousin to kwamis to reveal later? I also hear Mei Shi is a guardian but didn’t really do anything as a guardian. I will say, I wish now there was an in between the kwami and renling designs, for sometimes the kwamis are weird and some of the renlings look off or are creepy, and so far, Mei Shi is like the best take for that ideal mixture of both. 

While this is not lore wise related and more nitpicky, I am also bothered with Fei, not really the character herself but more the choices the creators made with her set up. Between her design and her backstory, she is essentially the older concept of Marinette that we didn’t get. 

Visually she’s had tweaks, but you can see that they took big inspirations from Marinette’s old look. How Marinette was going to originally look before they decided to make her more white. 

And then there’s Fei’s backstory: her father being mysteriously murdered. That was Marinette’s first backstory, back in the day of Mini Menace Ladybug, coming home to find her dad mysteriously murdered. 

And adding to this, there are implications that Gabriel might’ve played a role in the murder of Fei’s father, and I’m incredibly salty about that. Fei has more tie in and connection to ML’s plot than Marinette. 

And what frustrates me is that, by set up, they actually could’ve still given this to Marinette. You can cut out Tom and Sabine and very little changes in ML, and you can add more depth to Marinette, who is a bubbly and nice girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and will go over the moon for you if you need her to, but she has a dark thorn in her heart as her parents were mysteriously murdered and she doesn’t know why. 

Keeping in that Gabriel (and potentially Emily) played a role in their death and took something from her parents that they had, this would give Marinette that emotional stake in the plot and direct tie in to Gabriel. You could even set up that her parents had the Butterfly, Peafowl, and/or the book, and at least one or two of those items technically belong to Marinette as they belonged to one of her parents. Peafowl would probably make the most sense as we don’t when they got it or how it even got broken. All we have is that Butterfly and book were found together a year prior to the events of ML. But that comes down to how long ago the murders should be. 

And narratively, this set up would work. 

Marinette’s parents are incredibly removed from her life and are hardly ever seen; it’s also to a point she doesn’t even go to them for advise or help for anything, only Tikki. And they themselves are hardly characters of their own. At the start of the show, which we know know has her being 13 yo, she’s incredibly independent which can back the impression of absent parents. This also really backs her knowing next to nothing about Sabine or the Cheng side of her family, not even knowing the name Sabine used to go by. 

This set up also could’ve set Fu up as a closer mentor and really add to the grandfather-granddaughter theme they were going for, especially if he steps up to act as a guardian for her and secretly trained her to be ready for a miraculous, adding to how he has such faith and trust in this 13 yo to save the city. 

So that is my biggest gripe with Fei, not so much her herself, but the factor that the creators took Marinette’s most interesting and original set up (and design) and gave it to a random character who we are probably never going to see again or even get mentioned again, and is largely here for diversity brownie points and give us half hearted lore that won’t be elaborated on; and Marinette could’ve had this back story and set up instead and actually have a tie in and stake to the plot. 

it was very frustrating to hear. 

So yeah, I am more inclined to cut out the NY and Shanghai special and not count any other specials that come as lore wise, they don’t do anything or what they add is just too much and doesn’t answer much. I think the biggest shame is that there were some big appeals to them. NY and Shanghai actually should’ve been more Adrien and Marinette having their own exclusive adventures, or at least just have them be Marinett’s own adventures. 

I would’ve loved it if the NY Special was instead Marinette having her own adventure with Sparrow and Aeon and have her face a different villain who is not HM. 

And that the Shanghai special was instead giving us a look at Marinette’s Cheng side of the family, and her going to see the ruins of the Chinese Order, facing something supernatural, and potentially this is where she finds the Chinese Zodiac miraculous and brings them back to Fu. If you want to work off the canon Shanghai a bit, perhaps instead of introducing “kwami cousins”, Mei Shi/Meeshi/idk is a lion kwami who distanced himself from his miraculous, went to the ruins, and made himself a Guardian Lion to watch over what remains. They work together and he approves of Marientte taking the Zodiac, and he travels back to somewhere in Africa hinting at the special that will have Lady Lion. 

This also nicely sets up why Fu didn’t release any of the Zodiac to help LB, as what he had of the 5, Cat would’ve been the best partner to work with LB and it was worth risking the very two HM is after. Revealing that he has the Zodiac from the start didn’t work in their favor. 

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 2 Sakamaki Shuu [Track 2]

Original title: 遠のく心

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 2 Sakamaki Shuu

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke

Translator’s note: O O F. Shuu is being rather harsh in this, it’s hurting my heart. While I do understand that having someone continuously meddle with your affairs can be annoying, I do wish he was just a little nicer to the MC because she honestly deserves better than to be treated like a walking bloodbag. >( Hopefully he’ll redeem himself in the following tracks.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 2: Distancing Hearts

You enter the classroom.

*Rattle*

“...I knew it’d be you.”

You frown.

“Approaching me even at school...You really never learn, do you?”

You ask him what he was up to.

“I considered taking a nap but I had a hunch you would show up sooner or later, so I stayed awake, knowing there’s nothing more frustrating than having you interrupt me right as I get to the best part. I bet you came because one of the teachers asked you?”

You flinch. 

“Pretty much spot on, huh? Reiji at home and the teachers at school. Are you really obedient to just about anyone? In that case, why not listen to me as well when I tell you to stop meddling with my affairs?”

You try and explain yourself.

“...Annoying. What will I gain from attending class? Not only is it dull, but I’ll only grow even more sleepy.”

You beg him to return to his classroom.

“I’m not going back. I’m going to take a nap here. If you get what I’m saying, then don’t get in my way.”

You nod.

“...You’re giving up surprisingly quick today. Are you feeling under the weather?”

You shake your head.

“I don’t really care, but it’d be really nice if you could always be like that. It’d save me a lot of trouble.”

You protest.

“Stop refusing everything. Just leave already. ...Pwaah...Guess I’ll have to start over again from track one.”

*Beep beep*

You leave.

*TIMESKIP*

“Nn...Zz...Nn...Hm?”

*Rustle*

“Oh...Classes are over, huh? Nnh...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Ah? Something fell down...”

*Rustle*

“This...Her blazer? She knows Vampires don’t catch colds, doesn’t she? She really loves meddling with my affairs, huh? I don’t want to return to the classroom with this thing, so guess I’ll hit up the infirmary instead. There’s beds over there as well. ...Pwaaah...”

Shuu gets up and goes towards the nurse’s office.

*Rattle*

“...Ugh. All the beds are taken? ...Hm? This scent...”

He looks around.

“This one, huh?”

Shuu approaches one of the beds and moves the curtain aside.

*Rustle*

“Haah...Just like I thought, there she is. Does she really always have to be at the same place as me? Hm...Guess I can lie down here then.”

He joins you in the bed.

*Tick tock tick tock tick tock*

“Nnh....Zzz...”

You wake up.

“Zz...”

You call out for him.

“Nnh...Shut up...Don’t shout...It echoes inside my head...”

You ask him what he is doing here.

“What do you mean? I’m sleeping. All beds were taken when I first came here, and you were resting in one of them. So I decided to lie down here as well. That’s all.”

You complain.

“Pwaah...I’m surprised you can make such a fuss right after waking up. ーー Or rather, what have you been so flustered about this whole time?”

You try and explain.

“What do you mean ‘not here’?”

You get even more flustered.

“Haha…You’re like an open book. It’s not like I’m sucking your blood or anything. We’re just lying down so don’t exaggerate.”

You complain.

“…’Bad’, you say? Something which would be bad if others were to see us…”

*Rustle*

“…Would refer to this, no?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Oi…Don’t throw a fit…Have you forgetten? There’s someone resting on the bed next to ours.”

You flinch.

“I told you all the beds were taken, remember? That’s why I had no other choice but to lie down on this one as well. Unless they left at some point, they should still be there. They might even be listening in, curious as to what is going on over here. …The teacher wasn’t around when I got here… (whispers) but he might have just returned by now as well.”

You stop fighting back, going quiet. 

“Heh...You immediately calmed down. Just how easy are you? You pretend to be troubled by my actions, but deep down you just love this, don’t you? The scent of your blood...See? It has gotten richer. That proves you’ve gotten worked up. Did you really believe you could still hide that from me? Unfortunately, things did not go your way.”

You seem confused.

“Nobody has taken notice of us despite the fuss you made earlier so it’s quite obvious we’re the only ones here, no? Too bad~

You get upset.

“I said they ‘might’ be here, remember? Not my fault that you decided to twist my words. Or what? Would you have preferred for them to be around?”

You pout.

“Don’t get upset over something so small. It’s annoying.”

You get up from the bed.

“Wait. Where are you going?”

You explain.

“Haah...? You’re really gonna bother going back when the bell will ring in just a few minutes? …Don’t be ridiculous.”

*Rustle*

“…Why not stay here a little longer?”

*Rustle*

“Ugh…Don’t move. Unlike our bed at home, it’s cramped here. If we stay like this, I’m pretty sure you’ll calm down a little as well, no? I don’t mind sucking your blood to ensure you behave either, but I’m feeling exhausted after teasing you. I’m gonna sleep.”

You ask him if he intends to sleep while embracing you.

“Yes, like this. There’s nobody around so what’s the big problem? …Huh? For some reason, you feel different in my arms compared to usual…? Like you somehow seem…harder or…thinner? Were you always like this? Haah…Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. Mm…”

*Rustle*

“Nn...What? I was just about to fall asleep.”

*Rustle*

“...Oi! Don’t get up all of a sudden!”

You frown.

“What do you mean, ‘this whole time’...?”

You try and explain.

“Haah...? ‘A bother’? Are you referring to what happened in the music classroom, perhaps? Did you take that to heart?” 

You avert your gaze.

“Ahー You want to complain because I’m actually trying to keep you by my side now even though I always talk as if you’re nothing but a bother to me, huh? You get upset when I give you the cold shoulder, yet complain about thecopposite scenario as well? ...Haah...That’s exactly what makes you so troublesome to deal with at times...I feel like it’s a waste to even ask this, but you won’t say you’re dissatisfied with the way I treat you, right? If you believe I’ll treasure you because you’re trying your hardest for me, you’re not being funny.”

You frown.

“What? If there’s something you want to say to me, then spit it out.”

You tell Shuu that you just want to know what you mean to him.

“Will you finally be satisfied if I tell you?”

You nod.

“...Close your eyes.”

You hesitant.

“You want to know what you mean to me, right? ...I’ll teach you, so close those eyes.”

You close your eyes.

“What you mean to me, huh?”

Shuu suddenly bites you.

“Mmh...Nn...”

*Gulp*

“Nnh...Why are you so surprised? I’m a Vampire and you’re a woman with exquisite blood. What else did you expect me to do? If you were still expecting anything else at this point, there’s something wrong with your head. Nn...Mmh...”

*Sluuurp*

“Hah...But your blood doesn’t taste that good today. It had a strong fragrance, but it’s not sweet.”

You admit to not feeling all that great. 

“Ah...I thought you were acting kind of off, but there’s actually something wrong with you, isn’t there? I didn’t realize because I’ve only ever come to the infirmary to skip class. ...Oh. Does that mean you lend me your blazer even though you were already feeling under the weather yourself? Haah...”

*Rustle*

“I’ve had enough. It’s not even good. ...Having to deal with you tired me out.”

Shuu gets up and leaves.

*Rattle*

“...Che. I actually had such a nice nap as well, then everything went to shit right after waking up.”

He walks through the hallway.

“There’s no point in expecting or wishing anything from me...Why doesn’t she get that already?”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

KAORU PERSONAL INTERVIEW SPECIAL HEADBANG VOL.27 TRANSLATION ½

The ideal figure that the guitarist who leads the band as a leader got while struggling, and the reason for his unstoppable pursuit. “When we released "CLEVER SLEAZOID", we were still chasing an ideal, and I think we didn’t reach it. We didn’t, but I feel that pursuing how we could do that, the power at that time, remains in it as something that could be only be produced at that moment. If you look at it now, I think it’s connected to reality”

Notes before reading: This is the first part of the personal interview of Kaoru from the magazine Headbang Vol.27 released on 18th August 2020.  The interview is 11 pages long and this part covers the first 6 pages. As Toshiya and Die’s interviews, 2nd part is focused on his roots as a guitarist and overseas experience. You can read Toshiya’s personal interview here You can read Die’s personal interview here

 You can get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan.

 Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

 Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) -------- Text by: Yohsuke Hayakawa The first to appear in this magazine is Kaoru, the guitarist who is also the composer of the latest single "Ochita koto ga aru sora”. Starting with the process of making the single, leading up to the completion of this new song, the days of struggling to pursue the ideal sound, the originality that they got from that, and the current band that has not changed from the past intense days. What I saw on him was, the figure of a stoic leader who bet on Dir en grey possibilities and devoted himself to it. Also in the latter half of the interview with the theme of “Albums that inspired you”, he did  not only  talk about X Japan and national legendary bands that changed his life, but he also talked enthusiastically about the unknown world that he learnt from Hide and Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi, who he is a fan of.  “I think there is something that can be challenged now” -First of all, I would like to ask you about the corona outbreak we are currently in, but it was impressive when you, with your own words, announced on SNS  a live without audience ‘The World You Live In” that was held in March with the message of  "it’s not the things that we can do now , it’s the things that only can be done now”. I thought the movements of DIR EN GREY with these rare activities and projects that entertained fans were summarized in those words. K: Well, that's right. There are things that can be done in the current limited situation, things that we wouldn't normally do, things that we didn't come to, and things that we can challenge now. There were quite a few things that were more like "Let's do it".  Regarding lives without audience, we don’t know how long this situation will keep going on but, under these circumstances, it wasn't that much at that point in time for us to perform live. We thought it would be a plus for what we are expressing and what we are going to express in the future. Also, we tried to do it in a moment in which you could feel something. -Including the streaming that came after that, I think there are many people who felt closer to DIR EN GREY. In particular, the livestream of talk between members (DIR EN GREY LIVE ARCHIVE & SPECIAL TALK) is a project that you wouldn’t had think of before, isn’t it? K: (laughs) We don't usually talk much. -(Laughs) Moreover, I thought that it was only now that we could see an appearance of the combination of Kaoru and Shinya acting ‘as usual’. K: Well, that's right (laughs). -Is that something that you could do now, 23 years after your formation as band? K: No (laughs), the main reason is to do it is the situation right now. If this weren't the case, I think the idea wouldn’t even come up. Normally there are live performances, so I'd like people to feel it there, but we can't do that now. Well, it’s just to entertain the fans, but after all we thought it would be nice if they could feel something similar to that, feeling excited by our presence. -I see. So, regarding the status of the announced the Pia Arena MM performances for the  tour final "The Insulated World -The Screams of Alienation-" in July, you probably were thinking about what do to about them until the very last minute. K: That's right. It was decided a few days before the announcement that the lives were canceled. Of course, we also made a set list, and the production side was also moving. The entirely staff were informed, and everything was working. I actually went to the venue and talked about how it would be possible to hold the lives in these conditions. However, there may be some people who couldn’t come no matter how much they tried to. There was also the risk of not knowing if you can do it until you start it. -I think it was canceled after assuming the kind of live performance that was possible to be held, but it was a really tough decision. K: Well, it couldn’t be helped. -Oh, in a nutshell. K: Yes, it couldn’t be helped, it couldn’t be helped. What we could do following the rules (the government guidelines) is the reason we couldn't do it. Tickets were sold in advance through the fanclub, but in fact, with the spreading of Corona on the way it already had a significant impact on sales. -Oh, that was what happened? K: Yes. So, in response to that, we even came up with the idea that all the arena would have seats not only the designed areas. We could do that by reducing the capacity in order to keep a social distance. That way, we also thought that we might be able to do it. However, there may still be some people who wouldn’t be able to come, and moreover, there were a lot of things that we couldn’t do in both days. Well, it was a half-way point situation. Therefore, there is no choice but when the situation calms down, to relocate the dates. -Under such circumstances, you said you were producing the single in parallel. K: Yes, we were planning to release it around the Pia Arena performances, so we have been working on it for some time. -And “Ochita koto ga aru sora” was completed. The original melody was composed by you but, the title was announced in May. I wondered if it was going to be a song that brings melancholic elements to the forefront. I was trying to imagine it. K: (Laughs) Ah, the atmosphere of the title. -Yes. The sound that we actually got is bursting with DIR EN GREY-ish aggression that explodes from the beginning including a grooved dragging guitar riff. So, to put it into words, I had the impression the style of DIR EN GREY was contained in a "super condensed" form. It's used in a kind of luxurious way, with the melody refrain being minimal by scraping off the excess. K: That’s right. This shape (final song) is like, we were really worried about it and it felt like it just got here. Along the way, there were elements that would make things more exciting, more piercing. There was more development.  However, we made it in that way, but I felt like “Well, I’m tired of it” (laughs). -Hahaha. K:  Rather, it doesn’t seem as interesting as usual. This is really…. words may not match…it’s somehow Japanese. I wasn’t satisfied with anything, so it felt more like I was speaking out my mind (laughs) I scraped it off though. -The reason why the song became very condensed is that all the members were looking in the same direction. K: Well, I don't know that. However, as my method, I don’t really decide (the direction) at the beginning. If you do that, the result will be in that shape and I prefer to explore the possibilities. Besides, because I don’t know if the rhythm really matches the melody or if the back-melody matches, there are many things to think about, so I don't want to decide at the beginning. Under such circumstances, I didn’t know what to do in the end.  Well, I settled on something that someone said, or something that inspired me, but it was hard to get to the point where I could see it.- -As a result, I feel that the single became very DIR EN GREY-like. K: Yes, that’s right. I was working on it while thinking that there was that “likeness”

-Did you imagine the development of this single with an impressive melody popping out even though it’s aggressive? I wonder if something like this come out naturally.

K: No. I didn’t really imagine that. Even if I try to imagine, there are things that I can’t imagine at all.

-So, how does the completed form of this song look to you?

K: This time I was arranging it all the time based on the data of the tentative/provisional  songs recorded at the beginning. So, with that, it was almost brought to this finished form. From that point on, Kyo sang again several times and changed it slightly but along with the melody from the beginning, it was made with that flow. However, there were setlists that each member made during this time, right? (”DIR EN GREY AUDIO LIVE STREAM 5 DAYS" that was broadcasted on YouTube in May).  As you could see there, there are various DIR EN GREY, right? On the other hand, I feel that whatever we do, it will probably feel like DIRENGREY-ish.

-Something that can be hidden anymore. There is something that oozes out.

K: Well, very much, as far as you don’t do something different. I was too worried. When I told the members that I didn’t know what to do, I was told ‘You don’t have to think so much about, right?”, so I was like ‘is that so?’. In the end, the song turned out like this (laughs).

“At that time, I kept struggling to find out how to get closer to the sound I envisioned.”

-Oh, that’s what they told you. As for the form of songwriting, you work remotely regardless of the corona, right?

K: Yes, that’s always the way. So, nothing was different than usual for us.

-The change was that you couldn’t go outside between work time.

K: That’s right. I was concentrated on it all the time.

-Always? (laughs) Then, in that situation, that a member told you to not think about too much, did those words make it easier for you?

K: Well, you can open yourself to new options like “well let’s do it this way a little more”. However, it’s something that I do all the time. Year after after, it’s not finished.

-It will take some time to complete the song.

K: It takes some time. After all, if it doesn’t become something interesting, I feel like what should I do. It takes time to move from the first stage, the members listening to it and go to the “let’s do this”.

-What’s that next step?

K: Listen to the demo songs together and decide to try one from the songs that are there.I think it’s necessary to put a song and drop the world view and the atmosphere of the song clearly at some point, but it takes a long time to get there.

-I think it’s difficult to express this stage in words, but it’s the key to make songs.

K: Yes, it’s quite difficult.

-However, this is also one  of the traits of  DIR EN GREY but, the chorus that enters at the key points is burning with passion. It seems like it’s going to look good live.

K: As I said before, Kyo is the one who puts the chorus, so it’s normal than the rest don’t know where the chorus is until we record it.

-It doesn’t matter how the guitar riff is going…

K: Yes. It doesn’t matter. That’s why we have to practice all the time during the rehearsal before the live performance. I’m the type of person who can’t do different things at the same time, so I skip it quite a bit (laughs)

-Hahaha. You leave it to the other two (Die and Toshiya)

K: Yes (laughs).

-Then there is another retake of the song “Clever Sleazoid”. What made you pick this song again?

K: He said that he wanted to translate the lyrics into Japanese. Kyo said something like he wanted to try it because the lyrics from the original song changed. It was like, “Well, let’s try to do it”.

 -Then, how about the completed form after re-recording?

K: Well, it was already released once, so I don’t really care about it(laughs) Some people liked the original, others will like the new version. Except for the lyrics, the tempo is a bit faster but overall, it hasn’t changed much.

 -Originally, this song was released in 2005, but when you look back on DIR EN GREY at that time, what do you think is very different from the present of the band?

K: I would say that there is a solid feeling now. Rather than trying to catch up with anything, I think we are proceeding in a somehow calm manner. The same applies to the stage. It was 15 years ago, so we were young….it was like an apprenticeship, now we are old men, that’s what different from that time.

-What do you remember pursuing at that time?

K: At that time, I was struggling to get closer to the sound I was envisioning.

-Do you mean that you haven’t been able to achieve what you were looking for?

K: Yes. It’s the same with the songs. I was thinking about the sound aspect every, like “How can I make a powerful heavy sound” every day.

-Was that a personal thing?

K: It was for the band as well, I often talked to the members about the kind of sound I wanted to do at that time for the CDs but also for the lives as well, I wondered how could I do it. But at that time, I was struggling to understand it like, “I haven’t achieved it, but I can only show the power of pursuing it while looking for the way to reach it”.

“I haven't reached it, I can only show the pursuit and power of" how can I do it?"

-Did you see anything regarding that aspect when you started going overseas?

K: No, what I thought when we started going abroad was the importance of being ourselves. I wonder if that would be the most powerful thing. So, around 2005, I felt like I was still chasing my ideals.  Like a way that I could I express them in this way. But since we went abroad… and I started to notice that being ourselves was the best more and more….. how could I say it?,..it seems that the destinations we were looking at have been pinpointed all the time. It’s not about how to do it, if we could express what was in ourselves more and more, we would change it to the consciousness that would create that kind of sound.

 -That means, for example, that when you released “CLEVER SLEAZOID”, looking back, you hadn’t reached that point that you are talking about yet.

K: I think we didn’t reach it. We didn’t but I feel that pursuing how we could do that, the power at that time, remains in it as something that could be only be produced at that moment.

-True. It emits an unbelievable power and it was a proof of that struggle.

K: Yes. If I look at it now, I wonder if that it’s linked to its originality.

 -Surely.   After that it connected with THE MARROW OF A BONE (2007). Around that album, did you feel like you obtained that you were looking for?

K: Well, I think I did, but still at that time, I was wondering how I could do it. So I think it’s only recently that I’m thinking in this way.

-Ah, recently?

K: Yes, about “DUM” (DUM SPIRO SPERO, released in 2011). But “DUM” isn’t recent either (laughs)

-Hahaha  you noticed that…that’s right (laughs). In an era when you were struggling to pursuit something, you became solid as a band. Then, the atmosphere in the band would naturally change for the better, because it means that from that moment, along with them and the music, you have reached your goal.

K: I think so.  Also, what could I say about our band?..... All the members think that they have a different feeling about their knowledge and ability to imagine but, the reaction will definitely come when the song seems to settle down in a “this is it” form. Some of us will say, “I think it’s better do it this way”, while other will say “if we go in this direction, we should do this”. Therefore, that we can talk about such things has not changed from the past. While my senses are growing, after all there is still an atmosphere of pursuit in the end, in doing more and more interesting things, so I think that’s a good place for us.

-Even if you gained more knowledge and experience, it doesn’t feel strangely calm at all. K: It’s not. If that happens, it wouldn’t be interesting.

 “Now I think, do we really want to do that?”

 -I see. So, the mastering engineer and mixing-in engineer this time are also talented, but did you proposed the selection of these people to the members after listening to how overseas artists sound?

K: Sometimes I do. As for this engineer,Josh Wilbur,  the director said he would like to try to work with him once and asked him to mix “Ochita koto ga aru sora”.He had been trying to get in touch with him for a long time, but he couldn’t, but he was able to communicate with him this time and asked, "Would you like to try it once?".

 -Josh Wilbur is a person whose range of work goes from Avil Lavigne to Lamb of God. How was the result?

K: Well, I’m glad we asked for a simple one.

-After all, with that width….

K: It’s better that way. This kind of person will return what you ordered exactly as you ordered it. Sometimes no matter how much we explain it, there are people who don’t understand, so they don’t know what to do. At first, Josh used to put a lot of effects on songs and so on. Listening to that, Kyo said "nothing is good" (laughs). The exchange was interesting, though.

-If you leave the decision to someone else, something that shocks you can come out.

K: Yes. Wow, this person comes quite a bit (laughs)

-(Laughs) At that moment, you understood his way.

K: So, Josh’s first mix was more metal-ish. Also, the sound of the drums….it wasn’t like it was crazy but it felt like bumpy….it was like “mmm, it’s a bit different”, but after several exchanges with him, it went well.

-What about Jens Bogren (who has worked with many famous metal bands such as Arch Enemy and Opeth) who mixed “CLEVER SLEAZOID”?

K: It’s a different type (of mixing) from Josh. Jens has worked with us several times so far so  he knows the directions.

-And the mastering engineer for the three songs of the single, including the live version of  “Followers”, Brian Gardner (Linkin Park, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Eminen etc..) is the same one than “Ningen wo Kaburu” and “The World of Mercy”.

K: Yes. If you change the mastering too much, it’s hard to predict the finish result.  It’s difficult to know how the mix will turn out, so if you want to change the engineer that does the mixing, you should do the mastering with the same person as before.

-I see. Because the song will be created from the scratch again.

K: Well, that’s also interesting but I’m worried about what to do if it fails…

-About the future of DIR EN GREY, of course, I think that you will only do what you can do under these circumstances but, what kind of expectations do you have?

K: We are thinking about moving towards making an album.  As for concerts, it can’t be helped that we have to wait until we can do them, so I guess that I have to devote myself to making songs.

-Taking advantage of this situation, you will be able to concentrate in that.

K: Well, that’s right. I have time, so in that sense it’s easy to concentrate.

-In fact, is it time already to move into the album?

K: Yes. After Pia Arena, we were planning to go to production as we don’t have any concerts.

-For example, the single “The World of Mercy” included an acoustic version of “Dozing Green”, was there any talk about trying to do an acoustic live at these times?

K: Sometimes….that’s right. If we do that, I have to think about acoustic arrangements for that so let’s do a normal live performance (laughs). It’s not a bad idea to do a live like that because of this situation but, it’s like “do we really want to do it now?”.

-Ah, I see. Apart from your intentions it doesn’t make sense to you to simply say “We’ll do it because we can do it” in the current situation.

K: Yes, I think so.

 “Without “BLUE BLOOD” I wouldn’t really be who I am now” (second part here)