#heavy hitter heavy armour

[theflashjaygarrick]

So you've heard about the DC Absolute Universe and you're wondering what it is all about.

While details about Absolute DC is still coming out, I decided it might be useful to make a breakdown of what we know so far (mostly from SDCC).

DC Absolute Universe Breakdown:

The Absolute universe is a new alternate universe influenced by Darkseid energy. It is a 'darker' universe where all the heroes have lost something key to their Earth 0 selves which leaves them as underdogs. While separate to the main universe it will link in through the events of the All In initiative. There doesn't seem to be many superhero teams yet, but a lot of iconic heroes have had their own solo series' announced:

Absolute Batman (By Scott Snyder and Nick Dragotta):

The series brave enough to ask...what if Batman was an absolute unit. This is a Batman with no money and no status as the Prince of Gotham. Instead he is a construction worker and city engineer who has turned himself and his costume into an absolute weapon. He has an adorable French Bulldog and is also apparently blonde.

This Bruce Wayne never had a butler but there still is an Alfred in the Absolute Universe: Alfred "Penny", the grizzled and tired MI-6 spy. They seemingly meet for the first time when Bruce has already began his caped crusade against crime (and the series' confirmed big bad Black Mask)

Bonus: The Jim Lee variant cover gives us a better look at his costume's armoured texture and one of his weapons. He's seemingly more of a heavy hitter than the Batman we know.

Absolute Wonder Woman (By Kelley Thompson and Hayden Sherman):

This Wonder Woman was raised not in Paradise Island but rather in The Underworld. She has no sisters and no quest for peace. Instead she is the last of the Amazons who becomes a warrior and a witch, and eventually the Absolute Universe's first superhero. She is more heavily armed, carries a massive sword, and flies around on a skeletal pegasus made of iron.

Unlike her Earth counterpart who is notable for not wearing a mask, this Wonder Woman seemingly has two, including a rather demonic looking helmet. Also, her colour scheme is based less on the American flag and more on the idea of lava under rocks.

She also has a Jim Lee variant cover which suggests she also will have a lasso.

Absolute Superman (By Jason Aaron and Rafa Sandoval):

Superman is the member of the trinity we know the least about. He is supposed to be more alien (suggested by his glowing red arms and the fact the cape seems to be made of pure energy) and according to the solicitation is "Without the fortress... without the family... without a home" but honestly we don't know much more.

We do have some cool art though (including another Jim Lee Variant):

Absolute Green Lantern (By Al Ewing and Jahnoy Linsday)

Absolute Green Lantern is a "first contact" story and "reimagining" of the Green Lantern mythos featuring Jo Mullein, Hal Jordan, and John Stewart. We have some cool concept art of it including a redesign of Jo that suggests the lanterns might be in civilian clothing illuminated green.

Absolute Flash (By Jeff Lemire and Nick Robles)

This is the book we know the least about. All we really can infer apart from the creative team is that the Flash is presumably Wally West and that he appears to be more tortured character than in most other iterations.

(Shout out to Bleeding Cool for posting photos of the SDCC slides for people who weren't there)

[earthstellar]

Battle Analysis: TFP S2 Episode 18 - New Recruit

I like how in the beginning of Smokescreen’s introductory episode, we get to see a decent little battle which serves to emphasise how each character works well independently and together in a fight. 

it actually reminds me a lot of how my father (who was a field medic in the Army) used to tell me about how some of his casualty extraction missions went, in terms of how Ratchet is positioned with the others in formation etc.

Then I started thinking about it, and I thought it might be a good scene to go over in a little more detail. 

So, since I’ve never done a battle analysis before, I figured I’d try covering this one! :) 

The Situation at Hand 

It’s worth keeping in mind that the setup here is that a Cybertronian pod has crashed down to Earth’s surface, and the Autobots are unable to ascertain if it is an enemy pod or not. 

So Optimus asks Ratchet to bring his medical kit, in the event that it is a fellow Autobot who may need medical attention, which is a reasonable decision and places Ratchet in the field with good purpose. 

They leave without Bulkhead, as he is still recovering from prior injuries.

The order in which they arrive on scene via ground bridge is notable: 

Bumblebee is a scout, so he’s out of the ground bridge first. 

Arcee is supporting Bumblebee as spotter/additional firepower; Both her and Bumblebee are in “on point” positions, meaning they are the most exposed forward. 

Optimus is, in this situation, the heaviest hitter, so he takes a central position-- This also allows him to remain in reasonable proximity to all members of the away team, making it ideally easier for him to command. 

Ratchet is in the rear position, slightly offset to Optimus’ left, giving both Optimus and Arcee good cover of him if things happened to kick off immediately upon arrival on scene. 

This is a good deployment arrangement! 

Arcee and Bumblebee proceed forward and get to the crashed pod first, which makes sense; This is why they’re on point. 

But then the group spaces out a little bit, which isn’t ideal; Oh shit, it’s Decepticons!!! Mostly Insecticons. 

Immediately we see Arcee and Bumblebee close in together, something they’re probably familiar with and were possibly trained to do, given that they are in complimentary positions in deployment most of the time. 

But this leaves Ratchet exposed, and you can actually see in his posture here (sorry for the blurry screencap, this is a very short moment and the camera moves over fairly quickly) that Ratchet is wary of the source of enemy fire and appears to be trying to move closer to where Optimus is generally at. 

Again, this makes sense: Medics are, unfortunately, a huge target on the battlefield. (Geneva Convention treaties don’t apply here, and even if they did, most of the time they’re just ignored in reality. It’s not great.) You DO NOT want to be in the open anyway, but especially not when you are a very easily identifiable, highly desirable target for enemy fire. 

As a medic, you aren’t just charging in with any others, you’re constantly strategically trying to figure out the best way to provide support and not die while doing it. While Ratchet does have one of his wrist blades deployed here, keep in mind, Ratchet does not have a blaster or long range weaponry. He’s at a particular disadvantage in this situation. 

So Ratchet’s best chance for cover and his best position to provide support is with Optimus, who is more likely to be hit (owing to slower speed and larger size compared to Bee and Arcee). Thus giving him more protection and allowing him to serve as functional support. 

For those of you who have played TF2, this is probably the most obvious part of why the Medic/Heavy combo is so good. It provides maximum benefit to both people/players. 

(At the same time, the reason he didn’t follow Optimus from the get-go is likely because since Bee and Arcee have lighter armour, they might be at greater risk of injury from just one or two shots, compared to Optimus who’s a bit hardier. So he took a middle position, which unfortunately left him with no immediate cover.) 

Unfortunately, Ratchet is also old. So he’s instantly pinned by a fuck off huge Insecticon; There’s no way most could have reacted in time to dodge this, but especially not him. 

What I especially like here though, is that the impact of this hit appears to genuinely stun him. 

It happens quickly, but you can see how he’s looking straight forward here, his limbs are out to his sides-- It seems to take him a full second to recover and actually look up. 

While Ratchet is just about pinned, the Insecticon does actually leave a noticeable amount of space in between them, which makes me think this impact definitely hit Ratchet pretty hard; He has enough space here to take a swing with his blade, but he doesn’t. 

It’s interesting because this is a pretty good shot; The Insecticon has a fully exposed torso here, which would be a good area to target with a blade as their armour seems thinner to allow for greater range of movement and speed. 

But! Not taking the opportunity here was also a solid choice. 

Ratchet, being smaller in terms of height, may have been able to get a good jab into the torso and upward with his blade, which would likely have caused some decent damage in a sensitive area and may have even allowed for a large tear to form in the armour, leaving the Insecticon more vulnerable to blaster fire or any follow up impact to the chest/waist. 

At the same time, in the moment, Ratchet is now trying to recover rapidly from a hit that was hard enough to stun him while also having to evaluate if the risk of taking any action here would be worth it. The Insecticon could easily close in, especially with greater speed...

...And of course, the Autobots are experienced at working with each other in the field. Ratchet also likely understood that Arcee and Bee are still close enough to provide assistance, and might have made the call to depend on their aid rather than risk damaging his wrist blade-- Which is still a medical tool, and his primary purpose in the field is to assist others if/as needed. If his wrist blade is damaged or dulled while trying to puncture Insecticon armour, that would leave him less capable at his primary function here.

 Arcee ends up coming in from the side to take the opportunity instead, which is quickly proven to have been a good choice of action. And very good situational awareness on Arcee’s part, too! 

Arcee is grabbed by the Insecticon after giving it a reasonably heavy kick, but is able to get out of it’s grasp with a solid backflip-- Ratchet just does not have the flexibility or frame type to allow for this type of escape, especially not after just having been stunned by a full-body impact. 

It was the right call for Ratchet to leave it open so Arcee could land the hit. 

Sure, the Insecticon may not have been able to grab Ratchet in the same way, but Arcee has the reaction speed to match, and created a ton of distance in between her and the enemy almost instantly-- Something Ratchet could not have done if the Insecticon further advanced on him, as the boulder he was rammed into limits his movement options.

We then see that Optimus has also moved back over to close the gap between everyone, with Arcee next to Bee (although hard to see in this particular shot) and Ratchet now in a better position to provide support (behind and to Optimus’ right), even though he did not have to move himself-- Optimus moved over to him, instead. 

Smokescreen shows up, initially jumps over Bee and Arcee to take point position, then leaps back-- And firmly plants himself in front of Ratchet as well, while also maintaining enough distance to still remain on point. 

It’s worth remembering that Smokescreen at the very least went through boot camp for the Iacon Elite Guard (even though this seems to have mostly been a ploy by Alpha Trion and we don’t know what the actual selection process was like for any of this), so Smokescreen does seem to have some ability to know where to position himself in battle, even if he lacks experience and his tactics amount to “fire a lot at the enemy or in their general direction”. lmao he’s still learning though, it’s fine. 

As far as Smokescreen is concerned, there was a gap exposing their medic, and they only have one heavy hitter (Optimus), so he’s put himself in a position where he can cover Ratchet, easily move to group with the other faster, lighter weight bots if an advantage opens up for them to move forward, or move laterally to provide fire support for Optimus if need be. 

Honestly, not a bad position to take, it’s just the way he went about it and his “shoot everything” approach which is problematic, lmao. 

At this point, he ignites the energon fuel leaking from the pod by accident, which leads to a bit of an “oh shit run away” sequence-- But we can still see that they maintain a reasonable formation in falling back: 

Ratchet, in the rear and most defended position, is now first out. Arcee on the far left is running up ahead to get in front of or alongside him, to regain a more on point position. Bee is following her, slightly slower to keep the formation reasonably tight. Optimus is taking the right side, and Smokescreen follows suit slightly to the right as well but in a good position to turn around and take an immediate point position in the opposite direction if needed to provide some rear cover.

They successfully bail behind some rock formations for cover from the burning fuel explosion, and you can see the order in which they get there, consistent with the previous sequence. 

They land in the appropriate order: Arcee, Ratchet, Bee, Optimus, then Smokescreen last.

And that’s pretty much it, the explosion took out the Insecticons and Smokescreen proceeds to embarrass himself immediately. lmao 

This whole little scene is a particularly good example of the Autobots sticking to their roles in battle while also understanding how best to operate and work together as a team when deployed. 

Although it’s fairly short, it showcases everyone’s respective roles in battle very well! 

Bee is an excellent scout, and we know that, but it’s nice to see him actually handling things effectively in the field; Notice how he’s one of the few who didn’t get pushed around too much here! When the team had to close in together, they did so with Bee’s general position as their defensible point, and stayed more central to where their fire was being most effective. 

Arcee got to showcase her skills in a few ways here, speed and situational awareness both being critical. It would have been easy for her to fixate on what her and Bee were doing, but she knows better than to get lost in a single focus and came to Ratchet’s rescue very effectively. 

Ratchet was ready throughout to provide support if needed, and when he got attacked, he knew to rely on his teammates to assist him rather than risk taking additional damage as the sole medic. 

Optimus did a good job (as expected) being both their sole heavier gunner and their field commander-- Double duty, as Bulkhead’s still out of commission. He was clearly right to order a retreat when he did, and didn’t bother fixating too much on Smokescreen’s sudden appearance, instead remaining focused on the task at hand. Not that any of this is surprising, but it would be interesting to compare his field command style to Ultra Magnus’. 

Smokescreen did a good job of figuring out where to fit himself in during battle; He just really needs to stop fucking around, lmao, but he also just woke up after a fairly long stasis and he has very limited actual field experience prior to this, so that’s worth keeping in mind! 

---

Hopefully this was interesting; I just woke up so I’m still sipping a coffee lmao but I wanted to write this up while I had a little time. :) 

If you read all this, thank you so much!! :) <3 

[jjs-other-other-blog]

Okay so I did it. I finally watched the rest of Supernatural which I hadn't seen yet and it was both better and worse than I thought. Let me explain:

Now that I've actually seen it I can say that a lot of season 13, 14 and 15 felt like the show was half dead already, like they just kept going through the motions. Stick to the basic formular and keep it running. Big bad evil. Somebody makes a deal and lies about it. One of them is about to go darkside and has to be reined in. Somebody tries to sacrifice themselves. The wheels on the bus go round and round. The villains, the heroes, their sacrifices - we've seen this film before.

The only new player on the board who at the same time really changes up some dynamics in these last few seasons is Jack. He's a bit cluesless and he likes nougat. Cute, but not that exciting to be honest. What really makes him interesting though is the effect he had on the people around him. Because both Sam and Cas form a sort of fatherly bond with Jack which drives a huge wedge between them and Dean who violently swings between wanting to kill Jack and taking him fishing. But even that knew clusterfuck of dynamics gets old and frankly unnerving rather quickly.

Because over the last couple of seasons we see Dean become less the macho stereotype he tried to be for his father, he becomes gentler, kinder. Except when it comes to Jack which makes zero sense in my opinion and also makes me hate Dean which makes watching this part super uncomfortable.

I mean, there has to be some sort of friction between the brothers, but Jack just becomes another loop on the carousel. Dean has forgiven worse before, but still hates Jack, then changes his mind about it a thousand times. He teaches him to drive (in the Impala no less), he wants to put Jack down like a rabid dog, he hugs him, he will never forgive him. Hamster in a wheel, round and round he goes for no tangible reason.

They should've played the "this is all Chuck, it feels weird and off because it's all Chuck and he's a terrible writer" card more - it could've been brilliant. Lean into the "this is a show written by the villain" narrative more. Use more technichal terms. Have Sam say out loud that he has plot armour and stuff like that. Have Jack explain that Cas isn't at the big show down because the boss doesn't like him and wants this to be about the two brothers. Say out loud that Dean's anger with Jack is misplaced because it's not his anger, Chuck put it there. It's vaguely there, sometimes you can see the implications shimmer through, but they should've gone for it 100%.

They were onto a so very interesting idea that was meta in a way I have never really seen before, but as usual they only scratched the surface. It's just so sad. Season 15 had some very emotional heavy hitters. The big fight and reconciliation bewteen Dean and Cas. Cas stepping into the role of Jack's father for real. The empty finally collecting its debt. And as I said, fighting the narrative is an amazing premise. Season 15 had everything it needed to be great and then they screwed up royally only a few steps before crossing the finish line.

TL;DR: As always, Supernatural had a great idea, but never fully explored it and instead repeated the same drama they recycle every season. I know it's really just terrible writing, but the Chuck won theory actually explains why they didn't dive further into this concept and why even in seaon 15 they all kept spinning that wheel instead of breaking it.

[terra-drone]

My gripes with Rift Apart

Consider this a review of Rift Apart (PC ver). After playing this game twice on Renegade Legend, I have... opinions. Being a fan of the franchise since Going Command/Locked & Loaded, I admittedly have some strong biases for both the PS2 saga and the Future Trilogy for various reasons. But before I go lambasting this entry into the franchise, a TLDR summary;

Pros:

The game is pretty and well executed on a technical level (for the most part).

The platforming and movement is refined and a step up from previous titles.

Cons:

Quite literally almost everything else.

Also has a propensity for crashing (both freezing and blue screen of death).

Movement & Platforming

One of the core aspects of RaC that I am happy RA got right. The movement is buttery smooth and chain daisying from one platform to the next using wall runs, dashes and rift pulls is excellently designed. The addition of the dash function adds an extra dodge ability that was absent in previous entries although granted we can still use the age-old side jumping while aiming/shooting.

I do wish however that the hoverboots were more integrated into the platforming since most of the time you only ever need it for super long leaps or the timed step puzzles. Something like the jump pads from ACIT would be nice to see paired with the new wall run and dash mechanic. You hardly need to use it outside of Savali and Torren IV and the last part of the Nef Mech fight.

What I wished they truncated however was the glide mechanic the hoverboots had. Given that the hoverboots could both glide and make you go fast, it makes this better than whatever Clank could possibly offer. @erablisme has done a wonderful breakdown on this matter (see here), but essentially having the hoverboots be an upgrade of both the charge boots and fulfilling Clank’s contribution to Ratchet’s mobility (gliding) renders Clank, from a gameplay standpoint, moot. It renders Clank into nothing more than a glorified backpack/exposition device, which beats the entire purpose of the franchise’s own title.

Gameplay

Weapons

The arsenal, while fun to use, is too bloated. A lot of the guns overlap in functionality:

Shotguns: Enforcer, Pixelizer, Void Repulser

Seeker/Turret weapons: Agents of Doom, Bombardier, Mr Fungi

Crowd Control: Topiary Sprinkler, Cold Snap

Grenades: Shatterbomb, Bouncer

Rapid fire: Burst Pistol, Blackhole Storm

Lock-on weapons: Drillhound, Richochet, Buzzsaw, Lightning Rod

Heavy hitter: RYNO, Negatron Collider, Warmonger

Do we really need multiple weapons that do the same thing just with different particle effects?

The level up mechanic, while a staple of RaC games, is frankly outdated by this point and actively hinders the game. If anything, it punishes players for sticking to guns they enjoy once they hit max level. It makes the motivator for using weapons not be its function but rather to chase that arbitrary level cap. Plus, there’s no telling what the level up actually did for a weapon aside from damage buffs.

It’s not like they couldn’t do away with this feature, Deadlocked made the guns increase so many levels it frankly deemphasises them in favour of choosing the best weapon for any given scenario, ItN decreased the max level to 3 (6 on challenge) in favour of more meaningful weapon upgrades, and ACiT had the Constructo weapons and mods (which Deadlocked also had called Omega Mods) that incentivises experimentation on what combos worked best while allowing you to spice things up post max level. Why not tie weapon upgrades to collectibles? They already had the Raritanium collection, sprinkling effect mods for weapons throughout the locations shouldn’t be too difficult. They already did this for the armour system, so why not do it for the weapons too? Heck, why not make all the weapons customisable like the Constructo weapons? It would solve the bloated arsenal problem.

Enemy Design

The enemy design in this game just isn’t great. While it makes sense considering you’re fighting an army so it’s obvious they’re gonna have standardised units, you would think they would spice up their combat stratagem when they know they couldn’t beat our protagonists by throwing the same old shtick over and over. Instead, we keep having to fight the same miniboss Juggernaut over and over and over again. Sometimes there’s two of them! Make it three during the Juice fight!

It’s not a problem with just the Nefarious troopers, it’s an issue across multiple factions too. Across all three factions (Space Pirates, Goons & Nef’s army), they all follow the same formula; 

the one with the gun: Pirate Corsair, Goon, Nef Lasertrooper

the one that does melee: Space Pirate & Shield Pirate, Goon Rusher & Undead Goon, Nef Slugger

the tiny short range/melee swarmer: Cutlassies, Robomutt, Nef Trooper

the vehicle one: Goon Dropship, Nef Dropship

the flying one: Zoom Goon, Nef Sniperbot & Blitztrooper & Sniperbot

the heavy flying one: Vroom Goon, Nef Peacekeeper

the rinse repeat miniboss: Pirate Marauder, Nef Juggernaut

While stylistically different, they don’t differ much from how they shoot/do damage at you. It would have been great if they did some things different from one another. Some really simple fixes;

While I think giving shields to pirates makes little sense, it is some variety at least. Expand on that. Maybe make the Goon Rusher actually rush towards you faster than the others, or make the Nefarious Slugger can do 360 attacks or have more range since it’s a) a robot, and b) basically has the Scorpion Flail for arms. 

Make the Vroom Goons try to ram you instead of just having to avoid the taser things it shoots cuz that’s the exact same thing that the Nefarious Sniperbot does since all you need to do to avoid both attacks is sidestepping it.

Make the Pirate Corsair shoot high damage while the standard Goon does horizontal strafing rapid fire compared to the Nef Trooper’s vertical one

Make the Zoom Goons dodge your attacks, maybe give it a ground pound that opens it up to attack so it's at least somewhat different from the Nef Peacekeeper other than being a slightly squishier variant.

For a game so pretty it is bizarre they couldn’t put more effort into gameplay itself. The repeating minibosses get stale very quickly since once you’ve figured out a tactic that worked, it is rinse and repeat across the whole game.

Two Protagonists, Same Shtick

The gameplay doesn’t differentiate itself between Ratchet and Rivet. They play the exact same way, with the exact same arsenal, and the exact same progression. What is the point of having separate playable protagonists if they’re just gonna end up the same? You could replace Rivet with Ratchet and vice versa for 90% of the game and nothing would change. It would be something if they had separate weapons or separate movement gimmicks that make them distinct, but we didn’t get that for some reason.

Character Issues

The character writing is just abysmal, even when compared to the Future trilogy. While the Future trilogy (and by extension A4O, FFA and ItN) had plenty, and I mean plenty, of plotholes from a worldbuilding standpoint, the character writing was solid and fairly consistent. I cannot say the same for RA. Some examples;

Ratchet(?) & Clank(?)

I can hardly recognise Ratchet as the same character we had over the PS2 and PS3 instalments. He feels more like the 2016 reboot version just haphazardly retconned as the ItN version that RA was supposedly a continuation of. Being afraid of being a washed-up hero was Qwark’s thing, not Ratchet’s. Why would he even care? The man was downright tired of being a hero come ItN. And why is he even worried about meeting the Lombaxes? He saved Polaris multiple times and beat Tachyon, y’know, the reason why they left in the first place? The reason he gave up searching for the Lombaxes was because he had more going on with Talwyn and was assured the Lombaxes would do just fine without him. Why the sudden change of reason? What, is acknowledging Talwyn one too many female characters for Insomniac?

And why would Clank, despite knowing Ratchet not wanting to pursue the Lombaxes, go out of his way to make a whole ass parade about the Dimensionator? If he was just trying to cheer Ratchet up from his fear of being a washed-up hero (which, again, made no sense for his character) he would have just done the parade and given him the Dimensionator in private. The entire premise of Rift Apart hinges on the fact that Clank decides to give Ratchet what can be considered as a WMD since the Lombaxes used the Dimensionator to get rid of the Cragmites in an open public setting. Had he not done this, had he not told Qwark he wanted to surprise Ratchet, Nefarious probably wouldn’t have found out about the new Dimensionator, and the entire game wouldn’t have happened.

Another gripe I have with how Clank was handled was that his Zoni heritage was conveniently forgotten about. They could have tied the Zoni more deeply into the mysticism of the RaC universe and be the reason why he was able to fix the dimensional anomalies, but instead it was tied to Gary and... the Lombaxes. Huh.

Rivet, or as I like to call her, “Furbait”

There is so much missed potential with Rivet. Where to start? Instead of a grizzled, closed-off survivor of a robot dystopia, we just get miss middle-of-the-road, clearly made for pandering, furbait. Design wise, she would have been perfectly serviceable had this NOT been a robot dystopia. The only physical giveaway to show that she was a survivor/rebel fighter was her arm. It is the only thing that shows she’s a rebel fighter survivor. Her suit is well made, her eyelashes are on fleek, her hair is silky smooth, her tail is all fluffy and clean. Nothing about her says she was a survivor. No scars, no dirt, nothing other than the obvious robot arm. It is lazy. Lazy and stupid.

Her personality doesn’t make sense for the universe she supposedly inhabits either. Heck, no one in this franchise fits well in this robot dystopia, tbh. She distrusts robots due to past experience, yet  is chummy with both Clank and Kit (and by some extension, the Zurkons & Pierre) relatively quickly. For someone who should have gone through a lot of adversity, she hardly acts like it. She’s confident, has a lot of friends, and whatever negative aspect she does have (which is just distrust instead of the obvious robot racist she should have been) that would have given her an opportunity to grow as a character is watered down and conveniently forgotten, so she hardly grows as a character, if any.

Ultimately, Rivet boils down to being “What if Ratchet, but a girl?”. There’s work put into trying to make her her own thing, but there’s also the narrative yanking her by the collar to be Ratchet’s other self. She’s the last Lombax in her dimension, she also wonders where the Lombaxes went, and she’s trying to be a hero. At that point, how is she any different than Ratchet? They don’t even differ much personality wise for a version of Ratchet who never met her Clank, so to speak. One would think she would be the spunky RaC1 Ratchet since it was meeting Clank that got Ratchet to grow as a person. Instead she’s just your lovely neighbourhood Rivet, friend to all except robots except the ones she meets I guess. What is the point of having two main characters if they are just gonna end up the same?

Kit

While arguably the better other of the new duo, she has issues as well in the writing department. She had the most growth out of our titular cast, however how she got there is ramshackled at best. 

In comparison to Clank, he was a defective warbot, which made sense why he was small. Kit on the other hand was tailor made by the supposedly competent Emperor Nefarious, so why does she have a cutesy mode? Why does she even have a character crisis from hurting Rivet, for that matter? Stopping rebels was what she was designed to do, and she suddenly gained a conscience from doing her job? If Kit is so effective at what she did, why did Emp Nef stop at making just one of her? Shouldn’t there be multiple Kit models roaming about? She could mow down hordes of newer Nefarious Troopers and Juggernauts, so why didn’t Emp Nef expand on that?

These inconsistencies make Kit as a character start falling apart as soon as you give it more scrutiny than a surface level glance. The writers could have easily solved these issues by just alluding that she might have been an outdated model, or was damaged and abandoned on Savali where Gary and the monks fixed her up and gave her a new purpose — protecting the Archives. Instead of an exterminator, she became a guardian. They could have taught her how to be more “human” as it were, too,  which would tie up nicely to why she regrets her actions in her previous line of work. Instead, they went with the “Oh no, what have I done, I did my job and injured a trespasser, now I’m gonna be a recluse on Savali” route.

She doesn’t gel well with Rivet either because the only one actively having something to overcome was Kit. Had Rivet been written better (having to overcome her prejudices, letting go of her past trauma, solving her trust issues) it could work with Kit growing out of her self doubt and regrets, but it just isn’t there. Plus, there weren't enough scenes of them together to build towards that conflict resolution that would make their friendship more believable. She has more of a relationship with Ratchet than Rivet.

“EmPeRoR” Nefarious

He is boring. Simple as. There is no driving motivation to him other than “conquer everything”. We could have gotten an Ultron (which would make a perfectly sensible callback to the Biobliterator shtick our Nef pulled from UYA) but we just end up with a sassy English bastard with the personality of wet bread. There was no fun interplay between him and our Neffy, anything to make both their personalities shine as they work together or grind against each other, it just sucks.

The Plot(holes)

Imma just list it down.

How does a helmet clearly designed to fit a Lombax head is supposedly “one size fits all”?

How did the fish kid Rivet saved in the intro made it around Nef City in the first place if this was supposedly a robot dystopia that eradicated all squishies? What, was he just having a stroll, taking some fresh dystopian air? Could have made it that this was a fellow rebel she was tasked to save cuz he had some intel that he swiped and Rivet decided to use herself as bait to draw attention away from him so he could get the intel out of there, but no.

On that matter, why do planets like Savali and Torren IV still have organic inhabitants?

What was Skidd trying to achieve by hacking the propaganda blimp? This served no purpose at all narratively since it didn't even turn any robots against the Neffies.

Why was Skidd even in Nef City, for that matter? What was his original mission that he was going undercover for? Busting Rivet out of prison? Couldn’t be, since he made no mention of it.

Why did none of Emp Nef's cronies question our Nef just popping in despite looking clearly different? He’s a whole head shorter and the wrong colour. What, do they not have colour vision?

How did Emp Nef know about the existence of the dimensional map? He barely knew about the Dimensionator so how does that make sense?

If Ratchet already has hoverboots, why couldn’t he dash/sprint with it until he gets to Savali?

Where and when did Rivet get a rift tether?

Where and when did Rivet get a pair of hoverboots?

Wasn’t the Space Pirates/Decadroids designed by Tachyon? Why do they exist in this dimension? Why aren’t they allied with Emp Nef since they too are robots? None of this is explained.

Where did the Lombaxes of Rivet’s dimension disappear to? Did they have a Tachyon-like threat in this dimension too? Did Emp Nef wipe them out? Don’t know, and the game doesn’t bother explaining it cuz Rivet is supposed to be girl Ratchet and nothing beyond that.

Why would Emperor Nefarious announce for the whole galaxy to see where he was going during the finale? Did he lose that much intelligence in the short timeframe we’ve known him? This is the guy who conquered the galaxy?

Why would he leave a portal for our protagonists to conveniently follow him through? 

Where did that telekinetic abilities of him suddenly disappear to?

Where was this dimension’s Lawrence counterpart? That stupid little secretary is so dumb as to not recognise her own boss she couldn’t possibly be the Lawrence replacement.

Environmental Storytelling & Worldbuilding

Environmental storytelling & worldbuilding has never really been Insomniac’s strong suit. RA is pretty and all, but aside from Blizar Prime, none of the other locales did anything different from Ratchet’s dimension. If this was supposed to be a galaxy where Emp Nef has conquered it all, you would think that there’d be more neon, more cyberpunk, more Emp Nef aesthetic, more robots flying about. Instead, we just got the same thing we had from Ratchet’s dimension, just in prettier graphics. It is set dressing with no story to tell. It's a puddle pretending it was an ocean. While I appreciate seeing the graphical glow up the locations got, it’s a missed opportunity to actually show the impact Emp Nef had. 

Take Nefarious City for example;

How was Ratchet able to move around Nef City without raising alarms? This negates the entire point of Rivet needing a robot disguise in the first place.

Why does a static statue in the middle of a city have a terminal that activates a platform that leads to Emp Nef's office in the first place?

On that note, why is an EMPEROR working from an office? Where’s the throne? The grand palace and palisades? The royal guards? If he’s an authoritarian that likes to take control, where’s the giant screen with a hundred monitors that watch every inch of Nef City?

Why does Emp Nef have a tiny four seater shuttle? If he needed to commute planet-side, wouldn’t he have something more posh? More grand? A Rolls Royce of shuttles instead of what can be considered a slightly pricier but still shitty Tesla model? They could have made Ratchet or Rivet have to steal a fighter jet and that would make infinitely more sense than what we got.

The same can be said with the inhabitants of this universe. They only exist to serve as plot devices or to point the protagonists to the next goal rather than actual people. There is no culture, no differing beliefs, nothing to tell you about what they are about or what they do. If all they exist to do is to be exposition devices/mission pointers, what was the point of even making distinct characters? Then again, the Future trilogy suffered the same problem with environmental characters being practically stand-in cardboards so points for consistency, I guess.

Verdict

Essentially, Rift Apart is a creatively bankrupt, designed-by-committee tech demo for Sony Playstation. What used to be a franchise that does satirical commentary on capitalism that later tried to delve into narrative/character driven sci-fi story, has ended up being the most capitalistic-designed entry imaginable. Which is unfortunate because I want to like this game. God, do I want to like it.

Did I enjoy playing it? When it works and doesn't crash on me, sure.

Do I like it enough as an entry to the franchise though? No, no I don't. The gameplay hardly expanded on the RaC formula, and the narrative just killed it for me.

But of course, that's just me. If you enjoyed RA, more power to ya. If you told me to play it again, I'll probably do it. It's just not for me for the long run.

[alien-hybreed]

THE TANGLED WEB

Former Super Villain turned Hero, Sabre Wulf, desires power above all else. So when the rest of the Protectors leave to thwart Disastro's latest evil scheme, why shouldn't she help herself to their stockpile of inventions? The spider hero, The Recluse, has stayed behind to keep an eye on her. And maybe hit on her.

Both get more than they bargained for when Sabre Wulf accidentally releases a mutagens gas that exaggerates their animal DNA.

Cause and effect. Action. Reaction.

Every choice has consequences beyond the foreseeable future, Sabre Wulf and Recluse aren't the only ones whose fate hangs by a thread...

Sabre Wulf strode confidently into the centre of the lab, her trademark cavalry sabre drawn and pointed at the ready. The motors in her power armour quietly thrumming as they idled. Bright chrome shin and leg pads interlocked over her quilted undershot that showed between the armour's gaps and her exposed midriff. Her forearms, chest and shoulders sported similar chrome armour, lined with glowing blue lights that twinkled in the gloom. Both her shoulders and her helmet, were molded in the shape of wolf heads. A deliberate choice in homage to her beloved mythological beast, Cerberus. A long mane of ash-blonde hair jutted from the back of her helmet, swaying gently as she looked around.

Good. Nobody here. No sign of detection.

The one-time villain turned vigilante Anti Hero had only recently joined the ranks of the Heroes Society, but they'd been so quick to accept her as one of them. Fools. If she were a kinder soul, she'd almost feel bad for the betrayal she was committing. Alas, even before she first donned her costume, Samantha Worgren had always been an incredibly clinical, independent woman. Alliances were temporary and if you didn't have an advantage, you seized it or risked being left behind. That's why she was here, to seize an advantage.

Everyone knew it was one of Paladin's secret formulas that had given super powers to at least two members of the Heroes Society. Combining it with her own canine themed powers would surely make Sabre Wulf even faster and stronger. With that kind of power, she'd be a match for some of the team's heavy hitters and maybe then, they'd finally start respecting her. She could be the best of them all.

Taking off her helmet, she shook her head, letting her hair spring out from the helmet's confines. Her amber eyes glowed with an almost primal hunger as she smiled, exposing her exaggerated canines. One of these vials on the table had to be what she was looking for...

"What are we doing in here, Pup?" Came a voice from behind her. The Recluse. Her eyes went wide as she spun on the spot to face the spider themed hero. As she did her sword crashed through the vials on the table, sending the beakers crashing across the polished concrete floor.

"Taking what's mine." She snarled defensively "This power isn't yours to withhold, now stand aside!" Raising her sword to point squarely at him as he dropped from the ceiling, rappelling down on a silky rope like an aerial performer. "Yeah, that's not going to happen, Pup" he replied, matter of factly. His body visibly tensing beneath his black and orange spandex. Sabre Wulf growled as she stepped forward, her sharp teeth bared as a threat. Both of them, completely oblivious to the spilt chemicals amongst the broken glass beginning to sizzle and bubble as they mixed.

"And who are you to deny me?" She growled. Everyone knew Recluse's story. A happy accident gave him his powers and charisma made him an instant success. Sabre Wulf had spent her life resenting people like that - who had only ever been given their rewards, never truly working to earn them like she had. Fighting Recluse would almost be cathartic.

"No, I mean neither of us are leaving. I sealed the doors as I followed you in" retorted the Recluse. Bastard, she could see him smiling beneath his mask. Why? "I was hoping we could have a moment. Alone." He continued. He was being coy. Sabre Wolf was cold but she wasn't oblivious. He'd hoped to make a pass at her. Recluse's promiscuity was well known, especially with the stronger, emotionally distant members of the team... or it was a ruse to lower her defences.

"Well, uh, I-" she went to respond when a loud fizzing interrupted her. Turning to look, she saw one of the cracked tubes on the ground had begun to leak. Thick gouts of bright green gas gushing from the fracture while liquid gas dripped into the mixture on the ground, causing thick purple steam to rise from the chemical cocktail.

"Oh shit. No no no, we can't be in here with that!" Proclaimed Recluse as he moved to cover his mouth. Sabre Wulf's mind raced. As far as she knew, at least one other hero had inhaled gas like this before gaining their powers... further empowering Recluse was unintended, but it could work in her favour. She could use it as leverage, hell she could even indulge his advances and entrap him...

With a wry smile, Sabre Wulf took a backwards step into the gas cloud.

"Well then, Spider. What are you going to do about it?" She said with a chuckle as she took in a deep breath of the cloud. Almost instantly her face began to blush and a thin bead of sweat dripped from her forehead.

"Sabre... Sam... I don't think..." stammered the Recluse between several dry coughs as the cloud began to waft around him.

"That's it. Don't think. Maybe I wanted you here for this..." she purred, her voice dropping to a husky growl as she backed up to the table, sheathing her sword and bracing her gloved hands on the table's edge. Several more deep breaths of the gas and it felt like her lungs were on fire. Yet, she felt WIRED. A surge of adrenaline was coursing through her that almost made her dizzy. It was like being drunk and supercharged all at once.

"Don't... think..." mumbled The Recluse as he staggered forward, dropping to his knees in front of her. He pulled his mask off in one smooth motion. His short black hair messy and unkempt, his cool blue eyes eagerly staring up at her.

"Don't think I can... just wanna..." he moaned pitifully as his hand pawed at his thighs and the rapidly swelling bulge between them. Sabre Wulf blushed as her legs fidgeted. Luring the would-be whistle blower into a honeypot was all business. But seeing the scruffy cuteness the Recluse possessed beneath the mask... this could be more pleasure than business after all. She could already feel her eagerness as her thigh armour began to chafe.

"Oh you can, spider..." she moaned softly, tugging at the straps on her armour. "There's nowhere else to go... nothing else to do... just us..." Pulling seductively at the belt on her left thigh's armour until the plate fell to the ground with a clang. Biting her lip, she ran her forefinger across the zip on the crotch of her undersuit. Recluse stifled a groan as he reached for his bulge.

"Go on, Spider. Show me yours and I'll show you mine"

This is absurd, she thought to herself as she looked down at him. Pathetic. Groaning and panting as he ran a hand through his hair, clawing at his scalp. The other hand fumbling with his hardened cock as it strained against his suit. I'm living a goddam porn parody, yet this gas is making me feel so goddam alive. She mused. I'm going to be so fucking raunchy this man is never going to think of anyone else when he cums. She clutched her forehead and chuckled as the intrusive thoughts swirled in her. It had been too long since she'd enjoyed herself - since she had really, truly been satisfied. And she wanted nothing more right now than to take that from him.

With a loud grunt, Recluse seized her exposed thigh with his free hand as he began jacking at his bulge. Pressing his head against her crotch, he let out a prolonged groan. She could feel his lips grazing her undersuit and it made her shiver. The air around them was thick with purple and green gas that they were both eagerly huffing. Leaning back onto the table, she began unclipping her chest plate. It felt tight and she ached for freedom.

Looking down at her splayed legs, she saw him standing between them, clutching his bulge. His eyes seemed a little darker, lending them a glint that made her insides quiver as his other hand fidgeted with his crotch zipper.

"Don't be shy." She chuckled.

Recluse needed no further encouragement. Scrambling onto the table to straddle her, he unzipped his suit to let every inch of him spring forth. Sabre Wulf giggled and licked her lips as she cast her chest plate aside. Recluse couldn't wait for her. He was already furiously jacking at his engorged cock, throwing his head back and crying out as his hand rapidly slid up and down his shaft. Sabre Wulf began to pant like a dog, her tongue feeling long and heavy as it hung from her mouth.

Recluse looked down and moaned at the sight of her like this. So needy for him, it was driving him completely feral. Scrambling for the zip on the high neck of her under suit, he unzipped her down to just below the navel.

"Oh Spider, you've caught me, whatever will I do?" She pouted playfully, pressing her chest up to tease the swell of her exposed breasts. "You gonna web me up, huh?" She growled.

At that, a thick stream of cum spurted across her tits and collarbone. Recluse grunted and moaned as he stared down at her. She smiled up at him, tongue hanging out as she let out a long, soft mmmm of satisfaction.

"Hrrr... fucking..." he panted, chest rising and falling with each heavy breath, his eyes looking almost black from Sabre Wulf's angle as he seized a fistful of her hair, pulling her head towards his twitching, cum-streaked cock. "Come get it"

Sabre Wulf grinned as she moved her hands to his hips and gave the underside of his shaft a long, affectionate lick. Recluse's loud grunts of satisfaction was all the indication she needed to do it again. Her tongue lashed against the throbbing member again and again, her gloves squeaking as she tightened her grip on his thighs before taking his length into her mouth. She grunted as his hips bounced forwards, her gloves straining as her hands moved to the rump of his ass, squeezing tighter as they seemed to shrink around her hands. For a minute, she hungrily lapped at his cock, her head bobbing back and forth until she felt a cold chill across her nethers as her suit slipped all the way open. Looking down, she could see recluse had undone the final stretch of her undersuit. His gloved hand moving to gently rest over her mons, rubbing slowly as he bit his lip and stared intently at her cunt.

"Can this puppy beg?" He growled, sliding a finger between her folds. "Mmmmph... do it" she gasped between mouthfuls of his cock. "C'mon, spider, please"

Just like that, he was in her. She fought to keep her grip strong and his cock in her mouth but at several points she sputtered and coughed or gagged as his fingers rapidly swirled through her and around her clit. She cried out as she fell back onto the table, thick strands of saliva trailing between the cock and her mouth as her breath came in sharp bursts. Releasing her hold on him, she clawed at her face as the tips of her gloves began bursting open. Her fingernails had become long, black and hard as they clawed at her neck and jaw. She thrashed as the Recluse ruthlessly overstimulated her clit.

"Don't... waste... this time..." her voice trailing off into a canine whine as her ears twitched. So preoccupied were they, neither her or Recluse thought it was weird her ears had moved to the top of her head, becoming fluffy and triangular. Recluse moaned unintelligibly as he laid his cock in her mouth and jerked it until her lips and throat were splattered with his hot, white seed. At that, he collapsed onto his side next to her and rolled onto his back, his hand still firmly clasped around his cock as his erection refused to subside.

Sabre Wulf growled as she rolled to face him. It was no trick of the light. His eyes were pitch black. On top of that, several parts of his suit were tearing open to let clusters of coarse black hairs protrude. And his cock. Her eyes widened at the sight of that magnificent, unrelenting cock... By this point the fumes were so intoxicating that all logic and reason had been abandoned by either of them. Instead, Recluse's changes stirred a primal instinct in the canine sword fighter that need to be sated urgently.

"Stay down" she commanded, rolling onto him. Her lips roaming his neck and jaw with several sloppy kisses as she moved to mount the Recluse. With a toothy grin, she seized his wrists and pinned them behind his head as she straddled him. Her hips were already moving, his cock lightly grazing her slit as she quickly worked her way onto him. With a synchronised moan, she sat on his lap, burying his shaft in her sloppy, wet pussy.

"You wanted my cunt? Take it. Take it all!" She growled as she began pounding her hips to his. Her undersuit felt so tight as her body seemed to swell and strain. Even without discernible irises, she could see the adoration in his eyes as he stared up at her.

"Needed... this..." he moaned as he threw his head back, grunting as he found the strength to begin pushing his hips up against hers.

"Shut up" she barked, leaning down to bite and suck at his neck. As she did, she swiped at what glass canisters remained on the table. The gas made them feel good. Made them want more, she had to have more, drive him wilder, make him cum harder, everything had to be more.

The glass shattered on the floor and thick plumes of pink and blue gas swirled around them, mingling with the heavy green haze filling the lab. Recluse struggled against her grip as she aggressively licked and nipped at his throat. She instinctively needed to establish dominance and he wanted her to have it. For now.

"Good... fucking... pet..." she panted in his ear between licks, occasionally pausing to listen to the wet slapping sound of their hips colliding, his cock firmly wedged in her. With a canine growl she released his hand and began pulling her undersuit wide open. The tight material and the belts on her armour felt like it was digging into her skin. Almost reverently, Recluse laid his hands on her ass and pulled down hard. Sabre wulf yipped and howled as she felt him press deeper into her aching pussy, her undersuit tearing in her grasp. Her armoured boots were beginning to buckle and crack as her toes began to resemble her hands, long, black claws sprouting where her nails should be. She tensed her shoulders as the need to howl long and loud welled in her chest.

She closed her eyes, gritted her teeth and rode hard. She could hear fabric ripping, heavy breathing, wet slopping and low growls coming from them both as she wrestled with the urge to surrender what little self control she had left. Then his cock hit her at just the right angle and she was gone. Collapsing onto Recluse with a long low howl, her arms and feet scrambling and scratching at the table as a mind numbing orgasm overcame her senses. She felt his thrusts become frantic, irregular. There was warmth on her, slopping from her. He had cum in her. She never let anyone do that, she couldn't let him do that. Yet instead, as he tried to pull out, she snarled and barked, grabbing his cock and holding it in place as it emptied into her.

"Mine..." she snarled, fangs bared as she looked down at him. Something seemed different, though she couldn't quite pick what. A testament to how heavily influenced by the gas she was, failing to notice that blotches of his skin was turning grey and hard. Or the squirming in the torso of his suit. She just laughed and pressed him in deeper.

Recluse wailed and clutched at his face as his lips and jaw began to bulge. His throat seemed to spasm as several loud cracks signalled the rearrangement of his jawbone. Clutching his face as his skin turned dark grey, his hair standing on end as it became thick bristles like what was sprouting from his suit.

"Mmmmine..." he snarled as he moved his hands to her waist. "Mine!"

Sabre Wulf gasped with excitement as he rolled her onto her back and seized her by the throat. She moaned happily as he loomed over her, his hips slamming into hers as he began thrusting again. She relaxed, stretching out beneath him as he pounded her against the table. Her hands and felt better as her gloves and boots gave way, letting her paws swell to twice their previous size. Had they always been paws? Was the gas doing this? It felt so good, so natural! Breathing in deeply, she welcomed her new form as eagerly as she welcomed her lover.

"Good dog..." growled Recluse as his suit began to stretch and fray. He was so much bigger and stronger than before, no wonder he overpowered her so effortlessly.

"You gonna beg for more? Huh? That good for you, Pup?" Rasped the Recluse as a series of fangs and appendages began sprouting from his mouth. "Tell me it's as fucking good for y-you as it is for m-meeee..." he hissed, fangs wiggling with each syllable.

"Mmm... woof woof" cooed Sabre Wulf as she folded her legs around his waist and squeezed. Recluse let out a bellowing roar as his cock erupted inside her. Sabre Wulf squeezed her legs tightly holding on for dear life. Her whole body shook as he gyrated against her, his suit ripping at the back as a pair of long spider legs began to sprout from it. He gasped as he moved one hand to steady himself, his claws screeching against the table as they dug into its surface. The other hand remained clamped around Sabre Wulf's throat as she huffed and panted her way through her own climax. She barely even noticed as Recluse pulled free of her grip, his cock taking longer to slide free thanks to the three extra inches it had grown while inside her. A thick spray of cum spurted from his cock across her chest and thighs as he did, neither of them second guessing the volume or velocity of it as it dripped from her body. She just smiled, panting as her body urged her to do it again.

Lying on her side, Sabre Wulf huffed and panted. A thin dribble of cum dripped from her slit as her hips trembled. Her nose grew cold and her face felt like it was growing tight as her mouth and nose began jutting forward. She wriggled and moaned as she felt her undersuit itching around her back, arms and legs. Without even asking him, Recluse knew what to do.

Stepping back off the table, he single-handedly grabbed her by the waist and rolled her onto her front, getting her ass to line up with his cock. He'd already begun stroking it again with his free hand, his two new spider limbs rubbing each other's tips out of instinct before raking across her back and legs. Sabre Wulf howled as she felt her undersuit ripping apart as the serrated edges of the spider legs roamed her. Sitting on all fours, she shook her body, shaking free the tattered remains of her suit to reveal the changes her body had undergone.

Thick, ash-blonde fur lined her back, forearms and thighs. Her muscles were growing more prominent, her limbs longer as the gas exaggerated her canine infused DNA into something new. She barked and yelped as Recluse seized her ass, growling softly as she felt his drool pattering across her ass cheeks, thick and gunky like his cum. She looked over her shoulder at him, her face almost completely turned into that of a wolf as she panted, winking encouragingly at the seven foot tall man-spider behind her. Recluse waggled his fangs as he pulled her ass towards him.

"Mmm mmmate" he clicked, squeezing her ass and spreading it to admire her cunt as the tip of his cock hovered close to it.

"Fill... Heat... Fuck." Barked Sabre Wulf, her amber eyes wide open and glazing over. She was going out of her mind and loving every second of it. This new body felt so powerful, her humanity was little more than a painful limitation by comparison. Recluse growled as he thrust into her once again, her body tensing as the large organ pressed deep into her slit. She growled happily as she felt him pulling her up from the table.

It took a moment for her to realise, but something was looping around her wrists and ankles as his spider legs rubbed against her. Webs. He was pulling her up towards the ceiling by binding her limbs in webs he'd begun spinning. She wanted to bite her lip but all she could manage was a low whimper as her snout hung agape, tongue lolling out the side as she drooled heavily. Something had begun swishing to and fro just above her ass, it tickled and seemed to make her lover growl and thrust harder as it moved. Looking over at a nearby window, she could see a tail had unfurled from the base of her spine and was happily wagging back and forth. She huffed with excitement, pressing her hips back up against her mate, squealing as she began to climax again. As she did, another tail unfurled from her backside, all while the surveillance camera adjusted to keep them both in focus.

* * *

Paladin paused mid flight as the red warning light blinked in the corner of his heads up display. The jet thrusters on his silver power armour screaming as he slowed to a hover.

"What in the... hell's teeth!" He exclaimed as he opened the notification, immediately assailing himself with a graphic live feed of what was going on in the secure lab back at HQ. There appeared to be a vaguely man-shaped, hairy spider hanging from the ceiling by a mass of webbing. Beneath him was a woman. Or what might have once been a woman. Her body was sprouting long, thick ash-blonde fur, her limbs elongating and twisting to look more canine like her face. Her legs were spread wide, thick streams of white semen oozing from where the spider's oddly human cock was stuffing her engorged pussy. Paladin felt sick to his stomach.

"Team... we uh. Need to divert, some... thing... is uh, up at HQ" he proclaimed over the comms. Already he good see the red hot trail of Captain Meteor streaking through the air towards him.

"What's the sitch, boss?" Crackled Turbo over the radio. Paladin looked on in horror as the wolf-woman screamed in ecstasy, a thick torrent of cum gushing from her as she sprouted another tail and looked over her shoulder to stare directly into the camera. Her amber eyes seeming to bore into Paladin's with a ferocious stare.

Captain Meteor rapidly closed the distance between herself and Paladin, stopping almost instantly with a sonic boom that rumbled through his armour. The tall, muscular woman flexed, her exposed biceps rippling as bright, orange energy crackled around her shiny black boots, gloves and equally shiny, black leotard. She was primed for a fight, Paladin had been too. His sudden pause clearly troubled her.

"What's up, Robocop?" She called out, her brow creasing beneath her domino mask as she tried to get a read on Paladin's body language.

"Cap... Hayley. Do you know where Sabre Wulf and Recluse were today?" Crackled Paladin's voice from the speakers in his helmet, low and solemn as if he already knew the answer.

"Uhh, HQ. Why? They not there?" Replied Captain Meteor, cocking her head to one side.

"I sure hope not" replied Paladin. On the live feed, the she-wolf was breaking free of her bonds, arching back up to sit in the spider's lap as it begun to reapply webbing to her arms. Already she was rolling her hips back and forth, making its cock grow fat and pulsing as she smiled at the camera.

* * *

"Uh, uh, uh, ah! ARGH! AH! AROOOOO!" howled Sabre Wulf as thick streams of cum rained down from her throbbing cunt, it's puffy lips squeezing the cock as it rocked back and forth. She had already sprouted a seventh tail, happily wiggling her ass in Recluse's lap as she felt him swell again.

"Whaaaat... happennnn... to usssss" he rasped in her ear, his fangs deftly grazing her neck as he nuzzled her gently. She growled softly, tugging at the webs around her arms and legs as she leaned back against his heaving chest.

"Mate... breed..." she huffed, staring down at her engorged vagina and the cock pulsing in it. Down her stomach she could see secondary and tertiary breasts beginning to swell from beneath her fur.

"Have to... breed..." she rasped, her eyes widening and pupils dilating as Recluse immediately began to thrust at the very mention. She barked as his cock lanced deep into her womb, her body shaking as she felt it writhing within her. She had changed so much already, mentally and physically, the idea of children was once unthinkable... but now? Now that she had her mate, she desired family, motherhood, she desired more of everything this was. Recluse's fangs lightly grazed her neck as he struggled to keep himself from biting down.

"Do it" she moaned.

Immediately, his hands gripped her thighs tighter than ever before as his fangs slid into her flesh. Sabre wulf howled as her pupils began to swell. It was like her veins were on fire. She could feel the venom coursing through her, but instead of fear, she felt relief. She felt satisfaction. Like she had satisfied some new instinct or primal urge. But for what?

* * *

"You head back with the rest of the team, I can handle Disastro" Proclaimed Captain Meteor "You know we have to find out what Sabre Wulf has done"

"I know, I know!" Replied Paladin looking over his shoulder before taking off in the direction of Protector HQ "But you keep in contact, got it?"

"Consider it done, Disastro won't know what hit him" chirped Captain Meteor with a smirk as she spun around and rocketed across the sky.

"It's not Disastro I'm worried about" muttered Paladin, recalling all too well the level of collateral damage Captain Meteor had wrought when she last fought The Mammoth in central city. Earth's mightiest protector had the spacial awareness and self-preservation of a wrecking ball.

"Who's on site at HQ, there's a possibility I can walk them through something" snapped Paladin over the radio.

"Uh, that would be me. What's this about freaky wolf spider sex? Isn't that supposed to be next Tuesday?" Replied the sarcastic feminine drawl of the team's archer.

"Settle down, Sureshot. Pay attention, do this right and maybe you can turn this around" replied Paladin matter of factly.

* * *

Recluse moaned as a second cock began sprouting from his swollen ball sack. Though it was more and more like the tail of a giant spider with each moment. Four large appendages sprouted from the base of his shafts and curled around Sabre Wulf's pelvis, dragging her onto the second cock which was every bit as thick, hard and ridged as his original penis. He hissed as he stroked her body, taking turns to knead each of her six breasts as his hands slowly became more like her paws. He felt his fur growing longer, softer and he let out a rapturous howl as he released her neck from his bite.

Sabre Wulf knew she wasn't done changing, but she hadn't anticipated this. She shrieked with glee as her folds began to lift, revealing a set of mandibles that clutched and grasped at Recluse's cock. Inside her vagina, she felt barbs forming that raked up and down her lover's shaft. The change in texture seemed to please him greatly as he thrusted with tremendous force. She huffed and grunted loudly as she heard her bones crunching and felt something long and hard poking from under both her shoulder blades. Flexing it, she saw spider legs waving in her peripherals. Her spider legs.

Yipping and howling happily, she leaned her head back to let Recluse move down and kiss her on the mouth. Sloppy mandible kisses that prised her lips apart and dared her tongue to lap at the moving parts inside of his maw.

Several of the gasses they were swathed in, acted as a sort of 'genetic adapter' that facilitated hybrid DNA. A sort of biological glue that let DNA co-exist and mingle where it otherwise couldn't or shouldn't. If either of them knew this, they may not have exchanged bodily fluids so readily. Or at least tried a little harder to resist the temptation. Either way, what followed was the inevitable result of what Paladin would have called 'Cross Contamination'.

Recluse began to let out a low, rumbling growl as his jaw began to snap apart. His mandibles and eventually his whole face flipping open as an enormous wolf head emerged from inside. It's lower jaw splitting in half to form a new set of mandibles, while his old ones formed a mane of bug like claws and limbs around his head. His thrusts became harder and faster as he began pushing Sabre Wulf up to the ceiling and pounding her against it. Sabre Wulf hissed and shrieked as the sides of her mouth also split open to release mandibles of her own, her tongue splitting into three, thinner tongues that writhed around her teeth and clicking chelicerae. Another pair of spider legs began to sprout from her back as her tails twisted and intertwined with one another.

They both howled as the ceiling began cracking around them, their bodies wildly gyrating as they both began shedding patches of fur to reveal shiny black carapace in its place. Sabre Wulf's tails throbbed and ached as they slowly melted together to form a giant spider abdomen that twitched impatiently as Recluse withdrew his cock.

Wasting no time, he rolled her onto her back as he came, spurting a thick torrent of green cum across her chitinous stomach and legs. Sabre Wulf mewed helplessly as his paws roamed her waist and flanks, rubbing the semen over her as he continued to ejaculate.

"Be...longssss in... youuu" he strained as his long spider legs gripped her ankles and slowly raised them up to her head. She knew the name for this position, she hoped it meant what she needed it to do to her. She tried to find the words to call it by its name.

"Maaaate..." she croaked as he plunged into her, his crotch mandibles interlocking with hers, pulling their hips together as one of his cocks impaled her, the other throbbing ominously as it rested against her stomach. She huffed and panted as he bucked, her forehead throbbing as six new eyes began to open across it. Her body ached as his cock pummelled her insides, it seemed even her newfound stamina was finding its limitations.

As she squirmed and flexed her hips, she could see thick strands of webbing oozing from each of his limbs, not just tightening around her ankles and wrists but weaving around both their bodies too.

"Hrrr, ha, uhhhh, ahhh" she groaned loudly as both his cocks began to cum again. She felt his weight pressing against her as he closed the distance between them. Were her spider legs weaving webs too? As he released his hold on her ankles, she slid out of the mating press to fold her legs around his waist. Thick streams of cum gushed between them as the webs grew tighter, their coverage rapidly increasing. She moaned softly as he huffed and panted, the pressure of the webbing leaving the cum nowhere to go as it filled the cavities and crevices between them.

"Love" they whispered in unison as the lest webs sealed them both in a cum-filled cocoon, their reproductive organs throbbing as Sabre Wulf felt Recluse impregnating her...

* * *

"It's always 'hey Sureshot, you wanna do something crazy stupid brave? You wanna solo a monster Sureshot? Hey idiot, you wanna do science to save the day? No pressure Sureshot, you're every bit as capable as the woman with the power of a sun in her veins!' Never 'wow gee Sureshot, thanks for holding down the fort, take a breather, the people with bullet proof skin have this one'. Yeesh" muttered Sureshot as she wiped a trickle of residue on her yellow motorcycle jacket. Paladin had been very specific about what to use and how to mix it. Too much and the mixture could explosively separate the hybrid and human DNA in Sabre Wulf and Recluse. Too little and it'd barely slow them down in the inevitable fight.

Sureshot may not be superpowered, but she knew her shit. Nobody said it, but she was on this team because archery skills aside, she was the most dependable member of the Protectors. Time was of the essence and she was the boots on the ground, this was where she excelled.

"Ok, now let's get you into something more befitting a party, yeah?" She whispered, admiring her handiwork frothing in its test tube. Laying out a dozen arrows with empty syringe tips, she began carefully pouring the mixture into them. With no-one else on site to prepare the counter-serum, Paladin was relying on her to have these ready in time for the rest of the team to get her in position and undo whatever happened to Sabre Wulf and Recluse.

Looking over at the video screen showing the CCTV feed, Sureshot glared at the giant pulsing web cocoon. They'd been in there for an hour now, nearly two. Changing into who knows what. If anything that was for the best. Paladin and the team were at least an hour away. Sureshot just needed her mutated team mates to stay where they were, just a little longer...

* * *

The webs prised apart with a wet rip. What started as a thin trickle of green slime, blew out into a tremendous gout splashing across the ground as the two figures fell to the floor with a wet smack.

Inside the cocoon, their minds were so lost in the ogasmic haze of breeding, becoming and pleasuring that they hadn't noticed or cared what was happening. Sabre Wulf's womb swelled with cum as thousands of eggs began forming in her. The pod pulsed and throbbed with their synchronised heartbeat. Inside, thei bodies floated in goo, intertwined, still fucking as her impregnation reaches it's inevitable climax. Flitting in and out of consciousness, all that mattered to them is what he had filled her with and that she will begin to lay them soon.

Once the cocoon cracked open, they could see what had become of their physical forms. Slowly pulling themselves to their feet, they admired one another's forms. They almost looked human except for a few massive differences. Both a good foot taller than they were, their bodies superhumanly fit. Their skin a deep, almost black shade of blue. Eight pitch black eyes on their brow and forehead. Huge spider mandibles folded up inside their otherwise human mouths. Their hair is long and platinum white to match the dozen or so, huge fluffy white tails they sport. Four spikes jut from their backs where their spider legs are neatly folded. Reborn as an entirely new breed of superhuman. A perfect incarnation of their mixed DNA.

Instinctively Sabre Wulf dropped to a squat, puffing as her swollen belly began to undulate. Recluse moved to support her, Chittering excitedly as she began laying the first clutch of her eggs.

* * *

"Ah shit, no way my luck is this bad" exclaimed Sureshot as she frantically screwed the cap on the very last counter-serum arrow.

"Paladin! Our guests are checking out early, you maybe wanna pick up the pace?" She shouted into the radio link.

"Oh I'm sorry it's taking a while to turn around and get back from half way across the Atlantic!" Snapped Paladin.

"Yeah well, uh, looks like we're expecting. God that is a whole lot of inspected..." murmured Sureshot as she watched the screen in horrified fascination as a stream of slime coated eggs surged from Sabre Wulf's vagina and across the floor of the laboratory.

"Paladin, I'm going in!" Declared Sureshot before cutting the radio link. While her mutated peers were preoccupied might be the only chance she'd get to put them both down on her own. Seizing the arrows and her compound bow, she sprinted for the lab, unaware that Sabre Wulf had already finished and immediately proceeded to mount Recluse once again. Meanwhile, the eggs rapidly swelled and twitched, as their contents gestated impossibly fast...

* * * "DISASTRO! YOUR ASS IS GRASS!" Shouted Captain Meteor as she smashed through the stained glass windows overlooking the snow covered mountains surrounding the villain's castle.

"Funny. I don't zink I recall hiring und Gardner mein fraulein" tutted the villain as he whirled to face her. His black cape whipping open to expose the red power armour beneath it. Holding up a hand to deftly catch Captain Meteor's fist with a deafening Thunder clap. With almost no delay, her other hand snatched his forearm, spun him into the air and flung him through a pair of ancient stone pillars.

"Gardner? I'm the wildfire baby" scoffed Captain Meteor as her energy flickered around her in a crackling haze of cosmic energy. Raising a hand she began charging an enormous yellow fire ball, ready to launch it at the evil mastermind as soon as he presented himself. Failing that, it couldn't hurt to loose it off at the wall of computers surrounding them in the main hall.

"Zen I am sorry to be dunking the water" chuckled Disastro as he stood up. Captain Meteor aimed and released, the fireball a searing white burst of heat as it launched from her outstretched palm. Her heart sank when it dissipated in a crackling, flashing implosion barely six feet from her.

"Wh-what. What!? Why didn't that work!?" She exclaimed, examining her arm as she tried to charge it again. Instead her energy fizzled out, growing dim before disappearing entirely. Her heels clacked on the cobblestones as she dropped from where she had been levitating.

"Uh. Well um, usually it's someone else saying this but uh, I swear this never happens haha... uh... call it a draw?" She laughed nervously. She felt weak... she felt... normal.

"Vy is it they always send der bluntness tool in shed, hmm?" Continued Disastro as he began to saunter over to her. "You zink you were not expected? You zink Disastro does not take und precaution, mm?"

Looking down at her feet to where Disastro's gaze fell, Captain Meteor could see a ring of symbols glowing red hot on the ground around her. Some sort of magic circle, ritual or... no, he couldn't have placed some sort of magical power drain... could he?

"As far as cheating, this is a new low for you, y'know that?" Captain Meteor feigned an angry pout, trying to mask her fear. She was alone with no back up and no powers against the most evil super genius alive. "So what? You gonna hit a defenceless girl...? Even you wouldn't stoop so low... right?"

Disastro laughed as he pulled up a pair of large polished timber chairs. He placed one opposite the circle and brandished the other one as though he were offering it. "I was hoping vee could have a little chat. About ze future. And vot it holds for us both, ja?" Whispered the evil mastermind, staring intently at the exposed skin of her thighs in a way that made the Captain's skin crawl...

* * *

"Ffffffuuuuuck" Rasped Sabre Wulf as Recluse's knot subsided, letting her pull free from his cock with a wet slurp. She giggled as she collapsed on her back. It was already starting again, the squirming amidst the warmth in her womb. She was pregnant again. She smiled and ran her hands up and down her waist as her belly began to to distend and swell already.

Recluse panted as he pulled himself up to crawl over to her, caressing her cheek as she closed her eyes and nuzzled his hand. This was everything. He was everything. Their brood was everything. Oh God, their brood. The first of her eggs had already begun to hatch, enormous fluffy white spiders with glistening black eyes pulling themselves free amidst sprays of green slime. They were gorgeous, Sabre Wulf had never seen something so beautiful. And she was about to lay more, just like she'd always wanted, she couldn't remember ever wanting or needing anything that wasn't this...

* * *

Sureshot sprinted down the corridor, arrow notched and at the ready. Once that door opened, she'd get one shot to put one down. One more for the other if she was quick enough. Lucky for her, the woman that never misses was more than just a brag or title. If anyone could do this, it was her.

Coming up on the main door to the laboratory, Sureshot took a deep breath and steeled herself for what might be on the other side. She'd clipped Recluse in sparring matches before and she'd bagged Sabre Wulf at least twice back in the old days when they were enemies, she could do this. Deep breaths. Focus. Believe.

She was at the door now, nudging the release for the door with her elbow, she stepped back and drew the arrow back. As the door opened, her heart sank, her stomach churned and Sureshot ran for her life.

* * *

"Wait, so if you have a magic future stone, thingy. And that's a big if. Why let us beat you twenty seven times a year, why not just... not do that?" Captain Meteor chided, her sneer making it perfectly clear she wasn't buying Disastro's story.

"Ugh. Time mein fraulein. It is not so malleable. It is robust, stubborn. Not unlike you und I." Continued Disastro as he brandished a black glass orb "Vot is meant to be, will be. Zis is cause und effect. Action, reaction."

"But if I just didn't come here today? Checkmate Dickwad. Who's got the big brain now?" Scoffed Captain Meteor, folding her arms and smiling broadly.

"Zen that choice creates der parallel. Ze universe where you did someting else. But that is not der universe we find ourselves in, you see?" Disastro explained, more than a little exasperated how much time he was losing to explaining multiverse theory to this gold-haired buffoon. Let alone how much explanation the next part may take.

"Alight, I get it. Everything I do is predetermined because when I was twelve I spilled a raspberry shake instead of waiting to cross the road. So what?" Replied Captain Meteor as she glared back at her captor.

"Mm. I don't zink you do, but close enough" chortled Disastro, idly tossing the glass ball from one hand to the other.

"Whatever. Your doo-hicky told you I'd be coming alone. So you set me up. Fine. You knew how it'd go and now you've got me. What's next? Brainwashing me into being your evil sidekick?" Captain Meteor looked nervous. That was definitely within Disastro's capabilities, it couldn't get any worse than that surely...

"No. At least not in zis life mm? No, my dear Captain we are, how you say... getting the fuck out of ze dodge?" Replied Disastro, completely straight-faced, almost nonchalant.

"What?" Captain Meteor dropped her arms to her sides as she loudly expressed her surprise. Disastro wasn't making sense. All this talk of time, the crushing weight of inevitability, the predetermined outcome of all things and his literal crystal ball. All so that they could 'get out'?

"Leaving. Zis place, zis timeline. You und I. And the sooner the better." Disastro was solemn, deliberate. He believed everything he was saying to Captain Meteor and they were way past her thinking this could be a ruse. Because she could hear Disastro's heart was pounding. He was terrified. More than he'd ever been fighting any or all of the Protectors.

"What, why??? What makes you think I'm going anywhere with you?" She replied cautiously, her arms tensing, fists clenching. More out of habit than the ability to actually do anything.

"Because of vot I have to show you dear. You see, I am trying to save you." Replied Disastro, holding the crystal ball aloft. The ball seemed to flicker with light as shapes began to materialise in the air around it. Captain Meteor's eyes began to widen and her mouth hung agape as Disastro showed her what the future held in store...

* * *

Sureshot gasped for air as her lungs burned. They were too fast, everything she did to try and slow them down did nothing. Six giant spiders with vaguely humanoid faces, canine paws on the tips of their legs and long white fur scuttled after her. Each was nearly the size of a large dog, chittering and keening as they closed in on her.

First she felt the webbing snare her ankles, then the ground came rushing up to meet her. Then pain. Her head spun as she flailed out of reflex. Webbing snapped around her wrists and forearms, pulling taut as something crawled across her chest. As her eyes began to focus, she could make out the spider perched on her, its abdomen bobbing ominously above her head as its fangs scraped at the crotch of her yellow, leather pants.

"Nooo! Ohh God, no no!" She cried as she felt the material give way, its fangs snagging and pulling at her briefs. From the creature's tail, a thick, humanoid cock with a giant knot at the base of its shaft was sliding out.

"Argh! No! Fuck! NOOO!" She cried as the creature turned to face her. It clicked happily, nuzzling at her face as its cock began to push into her, slow yet firm as it pressed past her entrance.

"Rrrrelax" purred Sabre Wulf as she sauntered up the hallway, her belly already distended with what must have been her third or fourth pregnancy going by the various egg clusters and hatchlings Sureshot had seen in the laboratory.

"Rrrrrelax. Is good. Breed with ussss." Purred Sabre Wulf, squatting beside Sureshot as a thick stream of eggs began gushing from her. Throwing her head from side to side, she barked and howled with ecstasy while Sureshot screamed.

* * *

"Well now this is just getting silly. It has to be a trick." Protested Captain Meteor.

"Trick? This is not der future. This is right now in your 'Protector Heaquarters'. This is where it starts, every time I consult the Stone, the vision for zis reality is the same. Now it is not just vision, it is so." Narrated Disastro. The strobing lights from the Crystal Ball projecting an image of two spider people fucking in the hallway outside the lab in Protector HQ. Beside them, Sureshot lay pinned to the ground by clusters of webbing while an enormous spider seemed to be kissing her on the mouth, a great human cock extending from its tail and into Sureshot as it bobbed up and down on the spot. The archer's yellow motorcycle leathers were tearing apart as her body seemed to change, swelling, sprouting clusters of fur the same colour as her bright red hair. Long, thin spider legs sprouting from her back to gently stroke the monster that was having its way with her.

Captain Meteor felt like she was going to be sick.

"Oh... oh God... but Sureshot... the Protectors!?" She cried, falling to her knees, burying her face in her gloved hands so that Disastro couldn't see her tears.

"Gone in ze next hour or so. Ja. Let me show you. See. See how they run? They fight? All for nuzzink." Continued Disastro, the ball flickering through an assortment of moments showing the Protetectors as one by one, they were overwhelmed by the spiders, bitten, fucked and changed. With each new vision, Protector HQ looked more and more like a giant spider nest.

"Zis world is doomed. There is no escape, no resisting, no curing. Within two weeks there is no more humans. No more heroes or villains. Only her brood, till ze end of ze timeline" concluded Disastro as the ball projected images of entire cities swathed in webs, whole populations of spider-people rutting and laying eggs in the streets

"That can't... surely not? We can still stop it, right?" Whimpered Captain Meteor through bloodshot eyes. This was too much to take in, too much to accept. Her mind still frantically grasped for some miraculous solution, even if it meant collaboration with Disastro. In that moment, she couldn't think what she wouldn't do to not become one of those things.

"If you remain here, you will share their fate, becoming just another monster, like you always do." Stated Disastro, dispassionately.

"Wh-what do you mean. Why did you say it like that? Like I always do?" At that subtle change in tone, Captain Meteor looked back to Disastro. He grimaced as the ball's projection changed once again. The room was so quiet, the squeak of Captain Meteor's shiny black gloves felt deafening as she moved to hold her cheeks, gasping in horror at what she saw next...

* * *

"Breeeeeed" moaned Sureshot as she gently bucked her hips up to take her lover's cock deeper. He nuzzled her neck and delicately licked ar her fangs, yet she never took her eyes off Sabre Wulf and Recluse. The two had begun fucking again right next to her. As soon as Sabre Wulf had laid her eggs, she leaned forward on hands and knees to let Recluse grab her ass and plough into her again.

Sureshot drooled at the sight of his cock pounding Sabre Wulf's cunt, thick streams of green cum dripping from it as he did. Sureshot hoped hers looked like that. She hoped her belly would swell and she'd lay eggs too. That was all she wanted. Her lover licked at her drool as it pulled her fangs around its own, its humanoid tongue exploring her mouth as she kissed. Sureshot couldn't remember why she'd been running, this was divine. Watching Sabre Wulf and Recluse, joining them, being impregnated with more of their brood... what had she been before? Did she even care? Of course she didn't. All that mattered was the dizzying orgasm wracking her mutated body as a delightful squirming sensation made her belly begin to squirm. She felt Sabre Wulf reach into the webbing around her hand, gripping it tightly as she smiled down at her.

"Friendsss... always share" she rasped.

"Breed?" Moaned the red spider formerly known as Sureshot.

"Yessss... especially breeding..." purred Sabre Wulf as she began to feel an orgasm of her own washing over her.

* * *

"Ah! Now we get to what we must really be talking about, fraulein!" Clapped Disastro with a manic glint in his eye. The lights projected by the crystal ball began to coalesce into forms once again.

What Captain Meteor saw was nothing short of maddening. She saw herself. Sometimes with short hair. Or red accents on her costume instead of gold. Dozens of slightly different versions of herself. All of them fucking a monster of some shape or form. The most horrifying were the ones that seemed to do so, willingly.

All of them bucking and gyrating. All of them changing. She wailed and cried as she watched herself grow scales, swelling into a giant lizard underneath some sort of dinosaur man. She wept as she watched herself howling under the full moon as a werewolf and wretched when she saw herself sucking off her slime covered nemesis, slowly turning into slime herself.

"Stop. Stop it. I've seen enough." She mumbled, lips quivering as she fought to regain her composure.

"You see, these other versions, other worlds. Very you wear red and not black, vere I have great big beard und eye patch, all this possibilities. Every life we could have lived instead... every one of you. Sooner or later, you become a monster, Captain. Through infection, corruption... seduction. It matters not how. You always get turned into a monster my dear." Disastro almost seemed mournful as he lowered the ball, the images disappearing almost as quickly as they formed.

"No! No! No! I.. I can't! I won't!" Pleaded Captain Meteor "Not here, not me! I'm not going to be like Sureshot or the others!" Despite the way her voice cracked and trembled, there was a fierce determination to it.

"Zen you may want to listen to my offer." Disastro made a wry smile.

"You see. Zis machine of my devising. With enough power, it can briefly pierce the veil between worlds. Zat is how we escape fate, how we escape zis dying world and der threat of becoming spider creatures for the rest of our days. Free of zis, reality... destiny will hold no sway over us. We can go anywhere, be whatever we want. Together. Vot say you, Captain?" Finished Disastro with a dramatic flourish, holding his hand outstretched. Gritting her teeth, Captain Meteor reached up and laid her gloved hand in his. Pulling her up, he kicked a notch in the magic circle, breaking it's barrier. Pulling her close, he gently kissed the nape of her neck.

"Then what do we do, my dear" she whispered softly, angrily glaring at the Machine behind him as Disastro whispered in her ear...

* * *

Roaring, howling, shrieking, bodies convulsing and shuddering. The nest was an erotic cacophony as several heroes and heroines succumbed to their arachnid captors. Their costumes cracking and tearing as thick tufts of fur sprouted from their increasingly inhuman bodies as they writhed and contorted. Puddles of slime and cum glimmering around them as either they began to swell their mates with eggs distend with a rapidly growing clutch of their own.

Recluse made Sabre Wulf scream and drool, her mouth opening to let her mandibles unfurl and scratch at the empty air as she try to pull free of his knot. His huge clawed hands squeezing her waist as he pulld her back onto it, holding her up in his lap so he can loom over her shoulder and watch her stomach bulging and bloating.

Hungrily purring and chittering in her ear, and nuzzling her neck as he pumps more of his cum into her. Letting out a low orgasmic groan as he slowly collapses on his back. His grip softening as his hands run down her sides to rest on her thighs. Slowly she pulls herself free of her barbed knots, her cunt still trying to squeeze and pull them as it drips with cum.

They can hear clanging and scattered bursts of energy discharges as their offspring finally drag Paladin to his knees, cracking his armour open to seize the man wailing inside. Sabre Wulf grinned viciously as she watched the red spider holding him down, her fangs clicking as she rasped "Rrrrrelax. Breeeeeeed." Her belly swaying with her second clutch of eggs as she clawed at Paladin's undersuit. Something in Sabre Wulf's altered brain sparked a faint memory of profoundly disliking that man. Which made watching him become something more pleasing made it all the more arousing for her.

She pulls herself up with her spider legs, they've been growing steadily larger, thicker, longer, allowing her to support herself as each clutch of eggs grows more numerous than the last. Her belly is already heavy as it swells with her newest batch. Climbing up into her webs, she looks down at her kingdom, her brood. She smiles at the thought of them spreading beyond this building, maybe some of them already have...

Her mate chambers up into the webs with her, nuzzling at her neck and chest as he begins stroking his cock. She chitters and clicks, gently pushing him up into the Web while lowering her mouth onto his cock. She may need time before he can impregnate her again, but that doesn't mean his seed could be wasted...

* * *

"So, this machine..." inquired Captain Meteor as she circled the tiered plinth in front of the archway, tracing her gloved fingers across the tubes feeding into it with a suggestive smile.

"Der Reality Gate, yes" replied Disastro, barely suppressing a triumphant grin. He would have made his escape with or without her. But he certainly preferred the opportunities her voluntary assistance could offer them both. She was after all, a truly remarkable specimen that he had desired carnally for some time.

"I'm the only thing that can power it. Like a living battery" she recited slowly, gesturing towards the archway.

"Simply put, yes. With the right focus, which is provided by my device, your energy could cut a whole in der fabric of reality" explained Disastro for the third time, reminding himself that it was while she was an idiot, she was at least a beautiful one. She was earth's mightiest protector, not its smartest. At least he need not fear deception, she had neither the intellect or subtlety.

"So if I'm powering it, how do I get through? Don't think I don't know what ghosting is when I see it, Disastro" she raised an eyebrow quizzically beneath her mask, almost seeming stern. Disastro knew she was fishing for assurance. Truth to salve her guilt, to justify what they were doing. Truth he offered with the utmost sincerity.

"Captain, you wound me! Nothing so crude my dear. Simply put, once charged, the tear will hold for approximately thirty seven seconds. Time enough to make our escape before the tear collapses, leaving it sealed behind us" he proclaimed, clapping his hands. "You see my dear, I've thought of everything."

I'll bet you have, you slimy weasel. Thought Captain Meteor as she mulled over this information. She could do a lot with thirty seven seconds.

* * *

The red spider kneeled on hands and knees at the gigantic foot of her queen, moaning and drooling as she looked up at her. The queen, the brood mother, the progenitor of her species. Sabre Wulf. The name was like a distant echo. She was magnificent, her beauty unrivalled by the red spider or any of her Kin. She just considered herself lucky to be here. Lucky to make her own contributions to the brood as she felt her eggs sliding out from her engorged pussy.

Behind her, her mate chirped, laying its body against her back and nuzzling her neck as she ushered more of its progeny into the world. Yet as always, her attention never diverted from Sabre Wulf.

Sabre Wulf's legs had grown enormous in order to support her weight. Her last several clutches of eggs had swelled her belly to a huge translucent sack that swayed in the air as she hung suspended above the ground by her long legs. There was virtually no pause between impregnation now. For a while, her mate would pull out and masturbate while her eggs gestated. He would screech and cum hard, splattering thick green semen over her body when he did. The red spider considered herself and several others lucky to be close enough that they caught several strands of it in their mouths or on their bodies as it dripped from the queen.

Now he just remained behind her, cock perpetually throbbing in her womb.

"You... belonnnnng" the queen would periodically rasp "All of yooou. Beneath me. To my brood. Our... brood" The red spider would reply with a loud orgasm, as did the others like her. A simple yet clear affirmation of their gratitude and willingness. It seemed there were more and more like them each time the red spider laid her eggs. Some wearing the tattered remains of police uniforms, medical scrubs or just various casual wear. The hive had spread beyond the building, with so many spiders rapidly breeding, it would surprise none to know the city was overrun in minutes...

* * *

"Final checks clear, vee are all systems go!" Shouted Disastro as the machine began to whirr and hum.

"Well that's good, are we expecting company?" Remarked Captain Meteor as she nodded towards one of the computer screens. Disastro followed her gaze as red warning lights began to flash. Incoming craft. Protector transport.

"Just saying Dee, I ain't big on reunions once I'm ready to move on" Sputtered Captain Meteor as she broke into a run to jump and hover to the plinth in front of the Reality Gate. She had a cold sweat as she remembered the horrifying visual of her friends becoming spider monsters. Of the various monstrous versions of herself. She couldn't allow that. Not here. Not to her.

"C'mon Dee. It's rude to keep a girl waiting!" Shouted Captain Meteor. They were only going to get one shot at this.

"My dear, I only have two arms and I'm trying to keep it that way!" Disastro Shouted back, fliipppping switches and adjusting dials. "Zis is most precise. I have found der perfect reality. No superheroes, no super villain's, I vas never born dere. It is a perfect clean slate for us both. The slightest mistake und vee end up in the wrong reality or even worse, nowhere at all."

"Ok. No pressure. Well... what does that world have?" Replied Captain Meteor with a half smile, they were so close. Maybe just this once she could outrun her so-called destiny.

"Bakeries. Vots and vots of bakeries." Stated a bemused Disastro as if he were simultaneously surprised and charmed.

"... huh. Not um. Not sure what I expected if I'm honest. Could be worse?" Offered Captain Meteor. She'd never been any good at baking, she had two left hands or so her mother used to say. She even once set a cake on fire while it was still in the mixing bowl. Maybe she was a rubbish baker because she'd been a superhero since she was a teenager. The idea of a world where that wasn't taking up all her time... maybe it would be nice to make bread and cakes all day...

An explosion rocked the castle as the Protector Transport crashed into it. Warning sirens blared as an automated voice began to chant "Intruder alarm!" in Disastro's native tongue.

"Go go! Achtung! CHARGE ZE GATE AT ONCE! JUST LIKE VEE SAID!" Shouted Disastro as he began fiddling with the controls for the castle's security. From here out, there was no room for error.

Captain Meteor gritted her teeth and dug deep. Just like Disastro had instructed. Give it everything, harder, stronger than ever before. She grunted as she recalled every time she ever felt small. Every time when she was just Hayley and she intervened against bullies in the school yard, every time she fought with her parents over doing the right thing when they told her to instead keep to herself. Yellow bolts of energy crackled in the air around her as the plinth began to glow.

Her voice rose to a growl as she thought of every time she battled Disastro, every time he threatened innocent lives and had to be beaten down. Of Ravage, Mammoth or the time Sabre Wulf had unleashed an ancient monster from it's tomb out of sheer greed. Her eyes began to glow as the bolts began to solidify into streams of energy arcing from her body to the plinth.

Captain Meteor began to hover above the plinth, the energy turning bright orange as her eyes glowed white hot. Her growl grew to continuous scream. She thought of the Protectors. Her friends, reduced to mindless monsters. She thought of her other selves and their terrible fates. Her chest felt like it was exploding as her energy turned bright red and white, crackling around her like the surface of the sun. Hayley, not Captain Meteor, roared her defiance as the door to the hall began to splinter and crack. As it collapsed under the teeming mass of spiders crashing against it, the reality Gate flickered into life. One moment, lighting bolts danced within the arch. The next moment, there was an ideally mountain side village on the other side of it. At the end of the street, there was a well-lit bakery so real that she could already smell the fresh pastry. Thirty six seconds.

Disastro ran for the portal.

"Quickly, Quickly mein Captain! Time to go!" He shouted as he sprinted as fast as he could. Twenty-nine seconds.

CLANG! Went Disastro's power armour as Captain Meteor flew into him, shoulder first, with bone breaking force and sending him skidding across the floor in a crumpled heap. Twenty-three seconds.

"You know the saying, not even if you were the last man on earth." Spat Captain Meteor as she stomped on his knee, shattering it and bending his leg in the opposite direction it was supposed to go. With no delay, she launched forwards, kicking him into the computers and machines beside the Reality Gate. Sparks flew and energy beams crackled sporadically as the image of the mountain village began to flicker like static on an old TV. Nine seconds.

"Captain! MEIN CAPTAIN! DON'T" Shrieked Disastro as the spiders scuttled towards them, crawling on the ground as tears streamed from his eyes. Four seconds. "Later, Nerd." Chirped Captain Meteor with a wink and a smile. Delivering her catchphrase one last time as she zoomed into the flickering portal with one second remaining before it winked out of existence with a low whine.

Disastro screamed as the spiders pinned him in place, howling as they cracked his armour open and stripped him of his clothing and eventually, his humanity.

If Captain Meteor had stayed, she maybe would have heard what Disastro tried to say as she left. She wouldn't have understood it as she only spoke English, but it wouldn't have mattered. If she stayed, Disastro's final warning would have been moot. But roughly translated, it conveyed something along the lines of: "I don't know where it goes anymore, you would have been safer here"

* * *

Hayley felt like her insides were pulled out of her chest. Her skin flayed from her body layer by layer as every fibre of her existence screamed in agony. She was freezing and boiling all at once, emptying out like every fluid poured from her, yet bloated like she had eaten enough to be sick. Her eyes stung and her bones writhed like jelly. Then, like a roller-coaster ride, it all stopped immediately. She was nowhere, could see nothing, could feel nothing. No village, no bakery, no smells of pastry or warm smile. Just profound emptiness. Am I dead? She wondered.

"Hello..?" She shouted, her voice barely a whisper. As she spoke, light seemed to flicker out from her mouth, briefly illuminating her face before dissipating. Where the fuck am I?

As if responding to her, a low, growling chuckle echoed around her. Before she could react, she was falling. Objects seemed to whizz past her, heavy as they whistled through the void. She could see bricks snapping together in mid air, glowing red hot where they joined. First a couple, then dozens, then hundreds. The laughter grew deafening then suddenly, she found herself sprawled on a tiled floor.

Her head pounded like she'd been concussed as her eyes struggled to focus. She could see her costume was completely intact, her bare skin on her biceps and thighs was unblemished. Not even a speck of dust or debris on her. Slowly looking around, she seemed to be in some sort of giant, gothic church.

"Wwwww... which Europe is this?" She slurred as she pulled herself up and staggered forwards. High heeled boots had never felt worse and for whatever reason, she couldn't bring herself to fly or even hover. It was as though she had invisible weights strapped to her feet, every step a struggle as she strained to make the movement necessary. The chuckle rolled through hall, reverberating through her bones.

The room seemed lit by candlelight, though there were no candles in sight. Looking closer at one of the stained glass windows lining the hall, it was impossible to see through. The outside was entirely bricked up. All of them. In this room and the next. And the one after that. She had no idea how long she searched. Was she looping through the same room or were they just all the same?

Defeated, she slumped to the ground crying. Curiously, the tiles weren't cold to the touch where her ass cheeks poked out from her leotard. Not warm either. A complete absence of texture or temperature that further confused her senses. Again came the chuckle, shaking the structure to its foundation. Then, it spoke.

"Survival. Such a pitiful exercise." It was like hearing a Roaring fire and nails on a chalkboard at the same time. As if a thousand horrible screeching, cracking sounds had been arranged into something that resembled words.

"Beats the alternative" murmured Captain Meteor as she looked up in search of the voice's source.

"Are you so sure?" The crackling, snarling voice retorted.

"Look, this place sucks, but at least I didn't become a monster. Not this time. Not me." At Captain Meteor's defiance, the voice scoffed and laughter until she couldn't hear herself anymore.

"Oh child. We all become things we never meant to. That's life." Scolded the voice, it's condescension causing Hayley to stiffen up. There were few things she despised more than being dictated to.

"And this is your idea of living? Huh?" She spat, rising to her feet, fists clenched.

"It's apparently yours" chortled the voice, as though it were amused by provoking her. "You know, you would have been happy among them. A proud mother, knowing only pleasure from one moment to the next. Just like your friends."

"Yet, here I am" she snarled defiantly.

"Yet, here you are" replied the voice with a chuckle. "Neither living any of your lives. Yet you do not die."

At that, Hayley noticed a mirror in the middle of the room barely a few feet from her. Had it always been there? And where were the doorways? Or the windows?

"So what does that make me?" Whispered Captain Meteor as she cautiously stepped towards the mirror. In it, she saw herself. Not as she was right now. She saw Hayley. Mid 20s, shoulder length blonde hair, fake glasses. Her brown aviator jacket over her Antarctic Primates band shirt. Her loose denim jeans and red sneakers.

"Not this anymore." She replied to herself, the mirror version copying her every movement.

"I mean, I haven't really been this for a long time" she continued "Not since the accident" "Not since me" Declared her voice despite her saying nothing herself. The mirror image was now the shiny black vinyl leotard, thigh high boot and glove wearing superhero, Captain Meteor, speaking to her.

Hayley stumbled back, she was in her civilian clothes. The jacket, band shirt, jeans, sneakers. As she stepped back, the Captain Meteor reflection thumped her fists against the surface of the mirror.

"And where did it get us Hayley? An infinite multiverse of monstrosities? No. No the real monster, the worst of us all is prancing around like she's still fucking human!" Shouted the reflection, eyes blazing with a fury Hayley knew all too well.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." she stammered, holding a hand over her mouth as she stifled another burst of crying.

"Mean to what? Abandon your friends? Your family? Your whole fucking world? Does that sound human to you, Hayley?" Demanded the reflection. As she choked back her tears, Hayley blinked. She was back in her superhero costume. Just like her reflection. Except something was off about her mirror image. The hue of her lips, the way they twisted into a cruel smile. The piercing stare of her eyes. Her mirror image practically exuded menace.

"I did what I had to." They both stated firmly. "And I'd do it again"

"Hahaha well, no. You won't" chuckled the mirror image. It wasn't the heat haze of her energy discolouring her reflection, the longer Captain Meteor stared at her, it became obvious her skin was tinged with streaks of crimson. Each time she blinked, they seemed more prominent, brighter, spreading across her exposed flesh.

"Didn't you think it strange Disastro couldn't show you a future where you were one of those spider things?" The reflection growled, it's voice sounding more and more like the crackling, roaring pseudo-voice that spoke earlier.

"Did you really think you're the Hayley that gets to run from her destiny?" She shrieked, her voice squealing like a train braking too hard. As she did, her skin turned blood red, her nails elongating into long black claws. Her hair billowed in a non-existent wind before turning into a mane of roaring fire as a massive pair of black horns sprouted from her head. Captain Meteor fell backwards, with a terrified scream. Scrambling back from the mirror on her hands despite the fact she seemed to be moving closer to it. "I'M THE DESTINY YOU RAN TO. I AM THE FIRE BURNING IN THE DARKNESS. I AM YOUR SELFISHNESS HAYLEY. YOUR CRUELTY AND MALICE. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME HAYLEY, YOU WERE ME THE WHOLE TIME. ALL OF YOU, SO VAIN AND CRUEL, ALWAYS." Bellowed the voice as Hayley clutched her head and screamed.

She tried to refuse. To say no. But it's screams were deafening as enormous bat like wings unfurled from her back. Her pleather uniform burning away to reveal a muscular red body glowing orange from within. The mirror seemed to Warp and bubble, melting as her reflection seemed to push her way out. Then, as quickly as it appeared, the mirror was gone.

"If surviving makes me a monster, then that must make me queen bitch of the multiverse" she rasped, fire flickering from her lips as she spoke. She stood before a gigantic oil painting of Captain Meteor standing proud and tall on the steps of Protector HQ. Her black lips twisting into a wicked smile as she admired how perfectly it captured the likeness of her old self.

"I can live with that" Hayley murmured as she stretched her wings to their fullest, two enormous red and black, leathery pinions with a wingspan of almost sixteen feet.

She laughed, turning to survey the room that would become her impossible gallery of improbable things. The two long walls were lined with smaller portraits of all manner of strange beasts, some bearing more of a resemblance to her than others. Throughout the room, stone pedestals and glass cabinets assembled themselves in readiness for the treasures they might one day hold.

Hayley bared her fangs as she grinned, her tails cracking behind her like a whip, their lengths lined with large spikes as if they were fleshy barbed wire. Stepping away from the portrait of Captain Meteor, her cloven hooves made no sound as they stepped along the tiled floor. With a blink of an eye, she willed a semblance of clothing into existence. A simple set of leather straps and garters around her thighs and a matching harness around her chest. She need not cover her beauty any more than that. She was the only one here in The In-between. Even if she wasn't, shame or embarrassment were beneath her. She was beyond that now. She'd wear and appear however she damn well pleased.

Stairs formed under her feet as she strode onwards. They climbed high into the roof of the gallery and beyond, stretching through the infinite emptiness of the in-between before leading to another room. As she ascended, Hayley mused to herself how peculiar her new reality was.

She had spent an eternity languishing in her guilt, being tortured by it. Feeling her bitterness and outrage fester and grow till it drowned her. Her confidence, her hubris, everything she loved and hated about herself, imploding and twisting her into something else. Yet it had taken mere moments. Physical changes that felt like lifetimes had taken place in seconds. She ripped the goodness from her heart and soul and embraced what she had become, reconciling with her deeds and letting her darkness consume and become her. In an instant, earth's mightiest protector died and was born anew as an immortal demon queen. From that point, she gave little, if any, thought to her former life as a hero beyond wondering why she'd resisted this. Evil suited her, she wore it well. In her new form it all felt terribly gratifying, really.

Reaching the end of the floating stairs after what felt like hours, or perhaps barely a minute, she found her bedroom. A lavish quarters with a roaring fire and enormous bed draped in luxurious silks. Exactly like she had envisioned it. That seemed to be the trick to this place. If she willed it, with clarity and certainty, The In-between provided. She didn't care to understand it any further that. This reality was hers to mold as she saw fit, that was enough for now.

Tomorrow she would craft a bathroom and a garden. Maybe even a banquet hall and throw herself a feast in her honour. But first, she desired rest. Reclining on the bed, she marvelled at its softness. Just the way she liked it. And all it had cost, was the goodness in her soul. She chuckled as she closed her eyes, fantasising about how she might begin testing the confines of The In-between. She had breached the walls between realities once, now she was growing even stronger. No reason she couldn't try again if she desired an adventure...

At that, the Demon Queen Hayley slept and dreamed vividly of the dark pleasures her new body craved. And as she did, for just one night, every Captain Meteor in every reality, every Hayley Drummond who ever existed, all dreamed the same thing. They dreamed of a gorgeous demoness with skin like fresh blood, writhing in purple and silver silks as she slept. Her wings stretching out and trembling as her eyes snapped open in the same instant that every Hayley woke with a start. All of them with no memory of the dream. Only a profoundly strong sense of terror and a pang of jealousy. For some of them, they would never see the demoness again.

Others? Well, those were stories for another time...

[polarisdelphi]

Another Knight I worked on my Arthurian concepts, Sir Tristan. One of my favourites again blaming the 2005 movie for that and accidentally looking like a ranger :)

Also accidental Jesus Christ as well, I only realized after I coloured his face *puts on clown makeup*

Everything is rounded and wavy with him - even with his sword, I opted for more rounded shapes to give Tristan this air of softness. He is known for his love of Iseult, so I'm taking the route of "this man is a menace, but is filled with kindness in his big golden heart".

Same goes for the flowers all over. They are to point that soft side of his but I also searched a little bit about Kernow, found out about Cornwall, and decided to incorporate those flowers into his design.

As a counterpoint, we have his sharper facial features and scar, indicating that ~menacing~ part of his, I guess hahaha

Once he ended up falliing more to the ranger side on my design, I also opted for leather armour instead of full heavy stuff. His build is more athletic but not bulky yes, yes, Lancelot is the heavy hitter fighter in the team, who would've known and he has this sense of ~movement~.

And, of course, sad droopy eyes and forget-me-nots in his hands.

As always, I'll leave more explaining and fangirling over Arthurian characters under the cut, where I'll tell al little more of my version of these characters!

SO TRISTAN, MY BELOVED.

Like I said, I became a Tristan fangirl after the 2005 King Arthur movie thanks to Mads Mikkelsen but I only went downhill from there. We all know the story of Tristant and Iseult, and he always ends up being one of my favourite characters.

Therefore, when I was reading Bernard Cornwell's Enemy of God, I almost died when I saw the phrase "because that was the summer of Tristan and Iseult" and went NOOOOOOOOO I'M NOT READY FOR THIS PLEASE LEAVE MY TRISTAN ALONE.

Alas. He wasn't left alone.

As there are many iterations of his tale, I had to decide which one to go with in order to get his design going. I like the tragedy of having him being Mark's son, as prince of Kernow, and falling for Iseult - the young woman to be married to his father, the King of Kernow.

Why? Because I'm a dramatic bitch, that's why.

Jokes aside, I think it opens many options for character development and counterpoints. By choosing Tristan to be Mark's son, I can develop them as being opposites in basically everything.

Unlike Lancelot and Galahad, who are opposite sides of the same coin and can work together despite how different they are, Tristan and Mark cannot. Tristan is brave while Mark is a coward, Tristan is gentle while Mark is harsh, Tristan is kind while Mark is cruel. All his softness, beauty and knightly courage is reflected as cruelty, uglyness and cowardice in his own father.

And by uglyness I mean more than just what we consider beautiful in aesthetic terms - it would be a putridness of heart, a rotting of the soul. Tristan's beauty comes from his capability of showing mercy and love, from having rough hands but wielding the softest of touches, from knowing how to hunt but also how to preserve the world around him to keep it in balance. Starkly different from his father, from his own blood.

That's why I think his design took a more ranger route. I wanted him to have that sort of Aragorn quietness and gentleness mixed with an imposing but quite relaxed aura of when Aragorn first appears as Strider - the Ranger of the North.

Ok peeps I won't dwell much on this because I FREAKING LOVE RANGERS. Ever since I discovered RPGs in my life, when I was a little kid playing Ragnarok online, I'm a ranger, I can't choose a different class, they are awesome and yesterday even I was fangirling over how awesome I feel with my ranger only dialogue in Baldur's Gate 3 and how badass my ranger character looks, thank you very much, I'm accepting Tristan into the ranger family AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON ARAGORN-

Ranger Tristan it is.

And the theme seemed to fit him nicely. Like I said before, having him as the son of King Mark of Kernow - which, as my knowledge goes, is Cornwall - I wanted to use his colours as black and yellow. But they didn't work with him at all. Testing some other similar colours, I ended up with forest green and everything fell into its proper place - so the black/yellow theme will probably be his father's, to be another counterpoint to him.

If Mark is full on his posh and noble clothes, Tristan will be simple and wearing only a few things to identify himself as the prince of Kernow - hence the Kernow flowers engraved on his gear.

On my Arthurian world, then, Tristan and Iseult fall in love willingly, no love potions involved. For Iseult knew only obligation and fear with Mark until she was treated with utmost kindness and love with Tristan - sealing her fate as soon as he kissed her hand for the first time as an act of courtly decorum. And Tristan... He met in her the same kindness he always had inside of him but was never extended to him. Having, for the first time, someone care and worry about him, someone who offered him gentle words instead of cruel ones.

They were, unfortunately, meant to be - and their hearts knew they couldn't be together, but a love like this cannot be tamed or ignored.

Regarding his looks, the only thing I really wanted him to have was droopy eyes - reflecting that internal sadness in his soul. The longing he carries for something he doesn't quite know or understand, until he sets his sad eyes on Iseult.

And that's why he is carrying forget-me-nots. As a foreshadowing of his and his beloved's fate at the hands of his cruel father - myosotis, as I always heard them being called, are a pledge to never forget your loved ones, a vow of faithfullness, during all life and in death, remembering the adoration for those who aren't among the living anymore.

And I think it fits Tristan and his tragic love for Iseult quite nicely.

him looking like ranger Jesus Christ wasn't intentional I SWEAR

[thepariahcontinuum]

Form the worm power oc thing.

A shaker/blaster that opens portals that blast out extreem heat or extreem winds or extreem colds etc. That they are only as effected by as they want to be. Like if they want to they can stand there in enough heat to melt a car and not even sweat or practicly fly on tornado level winds.

Oh this one has some fun potential.... I'll admit that my first thoughts were a Eidolon/Myrrdin type Cape or a Weiss Schnee from RWBY epxy, using the Portals as a stand in for Dust-Fuelled Glyphs.

That being said I'm thinking a Hero, someone who is very well suited to the Cape dynamic of a city like New York but also doesn't get as much publicity due to just how big the market/scene in that city is and the fact she's in the shadow of some of the best in the business.

I feel like this is someone who's actual personality and Cape image don't really match up, like in person she's an absolute sweetheart but her image is that she's a brutal, no nonsense heavy hitter.....A lot of that comes from her costume and the way she's used.

The Protectorate like using her for raids and attacks on villain lairs, New York's scene is based around destructive power and she can open up a portal that drops the heat of a sun directly through your ceiling and then have another portal creating a tornado outside for people trying to run....Even her flight is destructive a lot of the time as she's basically ricocheting herself from the effects of one portal to the next.....Also I like the idea that she had at least one run in with String Theory before String got caged, just completely no-selled an early 'Driver' weapon

Costume wise, I'm thinking something that's a mix of spacesuit and cyberpunk tech wear....the general astronaut look but a lot sleeker and angular in some places, especially the helmet which is completely featureless and opaque, then layered over with the straps and armour.... It's actually a little restrictive to her movement but it's like the capes who wear actual capes, you can get away with it if your power doesn't need you to move; colour wise I'm thinking white with black and orange details.

Name wise....It took me a while, mainly because I had to stop myself from making Portal references. Next I liked the idea of "Extremophile" as a nod to the conditions she creates, but I also like the idea that marketing and PR vetoed it because they don't want a cape whose name is anything ending in "Phile" the headlines would be horrendous.

So: Huygens....Named after the Atmospheric Probe NASA sent to the surface of Saturn's moon Titan

[rubylarkspur22]

Attention Demon Slayer Fans!

Hey, y'all! I am here to rant about one of the worst takes I've seen on Demon Slayer!

Muzan is intentionally sending gradually more powerful demons Tanjirou's way, and hasn't learned to just yeet Kokushibou or Douma at the kid.

If you don't want to read me being ticked at the fools who say this, move along now.

Uh... No, he f-ing isn't? Muzan specifically and intentionally sent a grand total of 4 demons after Tanjirou. Out of the 12(13 if you consider Daki and Gyutarou separate units, and *math noises* 18 if you count all the Hantengu clones as separate units) demons Tanjirou fights before the Infinity Castle Arc. That isn't even half of the demons he fought on-screen! It's a quarter or a third, at most! And again, these are all the demons he faces on-screen!

Demons Muzan sent specifically to go after Tanjirou: Susamaru and Yahaba, Enmu, and Akaza.

List of Demons Tanjirou just happened to come across: Temple Demon, Hand Demon, Swamp Demon, Kyogai, Rui, Akaza if he wasn't sent after Tanjirou, the one demon he fought in episode 1 of the RLD Arc, Gyutarou and Daki, Hantengu.

AKA Tanjirou's just accidentally stumbling across the vast majority of the demons he fights, and those demons happen to be getting gradually more powerful. Muzan didn't even know Tanjirou was in Yoshiwara or the Swordsmith's Village! He just happened to be there! Hell, Muzan did try to do the smart thing by sending Akaza after Enmu got killed! And also by amping up Enmu with more blood and sending him after Tanjirou when Rui was killed! Muzan just didn't think to account for training and Kamado stubbornness! So that failed, and Muzan lost Tanjirou after Enmu died and Akaza bolted because he no longer had a sentient GPS on Tanjirou! Which brings me to another point!

"If Tanjirou keeps killing the powerful demons, why doesn't Muzan just send Kokushibou or Douma?"

Muzan doesn't know where Tanjirou is once his demons are dead! He has little to no way of knowing how much longer Tanjirou will be in an area for, so why send one of his heavy hitters if the guy he's sending them to isn't even there! Especially cuz Douma's running a cult, and it's be awkward if he just poofed him elsewhere in the middle of a thing. Kokushibou's doing dick knows what, but he's just as likely to have a freakout as Muzan is. And Nakime's Blood Demon Art doesn't work in sunlight! Even if it did, the more powerful demon he sent to kill Tanjirou and capture Nezuko after the Swordsmith Village Arc would be a crispy pile of ashes in about 2 seconds(probably less)!

And in the RLD Arc? He clearly assumed Gyutarou was competent enough to handle the situation and Daki had managed to soften Tanjirou up enough to make it easy for Gyutarou to kill him. If not for there being other Slayers(specifically, Tengen, who is a Hashira for a reason and therefore highly skilled and competent) in the fight, Tanjirou would have been dead. Hell, maybe Muzan did think Tanjirou was dead post-RLD. And then the mf shows up in the Swordsmith Village, terrorizing Muzan's cells, and the man was probably cussing up a storm the whole time!

These are the in-universe explanations! Out of universe, Tanjirou is the protagonist and needs to get stronger to face stronger demons. Basic shounen logic(even if the plot armour isn't as bad as some people make it out to be). But anyone who says Muzan intentionally sent five different(and gradually more powerful) ranks of the Twelve Kizuki after Tanjirou is spitting BS.

Remember, we as the viewers have a degree of omniscience. We know where Tanjirou is in relation to these demons. Muzan does not. Therefore, we cannot expect him to act the way we would with our omniscience.

[moonndust]

i am never mentally recovering from what the fuck just happened in chapter 16

im so glad i’m playing on casual..

that fuckin battle was tough

like very tough

i deployed like 10 characters and only 4 survived.

rosado had the azure twin ring but he fuckin died not even 2 turns later

clanne got his shit wrecked from those fat crocodile fucks and that was a huge problem because he was the heavy hitter of the team.

i spammed seadall’s dance towards kagetsu and prayed to god that either of the two would not perish mid-battle. kagetsu immediatly became a killing machine bc of that.

diamant fuckin died. he didn’t even have a chance to breathe bro. 3 turns and he was gone.

pandreo was a fuckin trooper and somehow survived it all (i didn’t expect him to be one of the survivors ngl)

i was desperately cliking the + button to skip everything to see if the damage was bad or worse.

lucina’s all for one bond attack was a life saver. that shit + lyn’s clones is just chef’s kiss.

merrin and ike were deployed but ike didn’t do shit and merrin did all the enemy clearing.

yunaka killed everything until she got killed but she was hella important to the progress.

seadall died on the last turn but he wasn’t important anymore bc pucnhes don’t do shit against armoured bitches (i brought him out for the kagedall/seagetsu support points ngl)

i hate goldmary’s ass but i was relieved that she was alive for some reason.

i genuinely thought mauvier teleported across the map.

it was a fuckin jumpscare to see mauvier suddenly just there after skipping the enemy turn.

alear beat the shit out of him tho

all because i forgot to give someone the byleth ring..

lesson learned.

still mad that rosado just perished.

like you had one fucking job.

and blew it.

[weatherman667]

40k Games and their Weapons

Boltgun

The Holy Bolter. Standard .998" Godwyn pattern, used by Astartes. Both Space Marine and Boltgun protray them well. The main difference is that Boltgun gives you 25 rounds / mag, while Space Marine gives you 30. Both of those are valid. 30 is the standard by most assault rifles, while 20-25 is more common with the higher power battle rifles. To explain how powerful the Godwyn Boltgun is, we have to start with the difference between a rifle and a rifled cannon is 12.7mm / .50". Anything beyond that is considered a cannon. The Bolt part of the Boltgun means it can dramatically reduce the barrel length without any loss to power, accuracy, or range. But the impact? HEDP. A penetrating head followed by a delayed explosive charge, to maximize the damage to the target.

The closest we have is probably the Bushmaster https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M242_Bushmaster, a 25mm cannon.

Whether it's an Assault Rifle or a Battle Rifle is an open question.

The other main difference is usage. Titus carries double frontline ammunition. Caedo carries frontline ammunition and refuses to use his optics. I have known soldiers to eschew anything other than iron sights, but the optics are built into your helmet! Titus doesn't even use a helmet, and still uses his optics.

Deathwatch: Tyranid Invasion actually uses Rapid Fire rules, and fires on Repetition beyond 50% of your range, and Automatic within 50%. I honestly can't think of a single other game that recognizes this.

The other main difference is ammuntion. Titus can use Kraken Bolts. They have higher penetration, and a slightly slower cycle rate. If you combine it with Bolter Targeting, then you get an incredibly accurate weapon that can accurately burst fire at nearly infinite range.

Caedo finds alternate ammo magazines, and acts like a toddler unwrapping a present, and puts it in and readies it right away. This makes the Bolter too valuable to use a lot of the time. Luckily for us, Caedo has no problem carrying an arsenal. They also added armour penetrating ammo, but decided to not make them the Kraken Bolts, which I constantly forget about and it sometimes legitimately pisses me off. This is like the biggest change from canon.

Plasmagun

The standard anti-armour weapon of martyrs. In the OTT, you can either do a regular or overcharge attack. Overcharge does a lot more damage but if you roll a 1 on the hit roll you heat it passed it's containment threshold, and get hit by the tank-busting plasma.

Captain Titus has enough skill that he knows when to pop the heat sinks and give up. This allows it to be used for both rapid attacks or heavy hitters. Notably, when charging it, it builds it heat. And this shows you very clearly how easy it is to mess up the heat build up if you take too long to aim.

Caedo seems to do semi-charges. It still has S:7, (standard strength for Plasma), but giving it a small AoE. This means you can't use it at close range, or rapidly, but he gets a lot more of every shot without coming close to risking an overheat. He seems to flatout refuse to do a full overcharge, which, in all honesty? Is probably the right answer.

Tyranid Invasion kind of inverted it. The weapon can overheat on any attack, and if it does, you can't use it until your next turn. This actually works very well with the AP system it has, but has the paradox of having overcharge attacks have a lower chance of overheating the weapon than regular attacks do. Overcharge attacks take all of your remaining AP, which means you can't duck back around cover. This makes it dangerous in a different way.

Meltagun

One of the only things I hate about Space Marine is that they tried to turn the Melta into a shotgun, because there isn't a shotgun equivalent. They could have used a Flamer, but instead decided to use the Melta, forever messing with how Meltas works.

Meltas are effectively High Explosive Anti-Tank shells put into a weapon form. It fires a concentrated beam of superheated gasses contained by a magnetic field. This is what gives it it's phenominal armour penetration. In the OTT, it's one of the few weapons that has the highest level of armour penetration.

Boltgun was making an homage to Space Marine, so I can't fault them for using a similar premise. They give it a cylinder AoE instead of a cone. This is much more useful. The cone was to make it so that Assault Marines can roll out of way of the Melta, because Space Marine was all about balance.  Boltgun's is much more useful.

The winner is Tyranid Invasion, which doesn't even have an armour penetration mechanic. Meltas have a small charge up before firing a small beam at the target.

Because Space Marine and Boltgun give it a wide area of effect, they have to otherwise cripple it. The balancing part is that meltas have half the range of Boltguns, and Inferno Pistols have half the range of Bolt PISTOLS. Instead Space Marine gives it a large dead zone, and Boltgun gives it extremely limited ammunition. If they didn't force the issue, it would make a fantastic main weapon. Boltgun, for whatever reason, decided to use 5 units of fuel with each shot, which gives you 2 shots off a single magazine, and 8 in total.

Vengeance Launcher

Only approved for trial on Graia. The Vengence Launcher is a command-detonated grenade launcher.

Space Marine was using altenate attack for reload, so you couldn't reload a weapon if you use alt-attack for something else. In Space Marine, it was balanced for PvP, which has people moving in ways that only make sense in first person shooters.

Boltgun's is instead balanced to use PvE. It's far easier to use on a dynamic battlefield, and the fact you can reload it means you can carry more ammo for it than you could otherwise. If you carried double frontline ammo, it would be usable as a main weapon. Caedo uses it as a simple delayed explosive, but this delay allows you to use it point blank. It has a mild knockback, and lets you get out of range before it blows.

Heavy Boltgun

The big brother of the bolter. Unfortunately in the OTT they great this like a light machinegun rather than the ridiculous autocannon it really is. Captain Titus treats the Heavy Boltgun as if it was something that should properly be reserved for Devastators. He only uses it temporarily.

Malum Caedo, however, is a Sternguard Veteran, which are perfectly allowed to carry them.

In Space Marine, the Heavy Boltgun has a variable cycle rate. While real machineguns have variable cycle rate, they are instead used incase your gas cycle system is getting clogged. While technically difficult, there is really nothing hard about making a weapon work like this. Alt-Fire has you take a braced stance and increase the cycle rate. This is how regular machineguns actually work. They pick a Lay, a combination of siting and sighting, and fire down that line. This is because machineguns are LINEAR area of effect weapons. They are most effective when fired in defilead, (to protect from incoming fire), to fire in enfilead, (getting your enemies into a line). The easieset way to do this is either fire from the flanks, or lure your enemy into an enfilead.

Caedo, on the other hand, just goes Rambo with it. When he fires, there is a short period where he lines up the heavy weapon, his movement speed is restricted, and the weapon is powerful enough to push him backwards. Boltgun has a lot of places that are perfect for drawings enemies into enfilead and then mowing them down.

Stormbolter

Sadly absent from Boltgun. The Boltgun is universally the most balanced, meaning generally useful weapon for every combat situation. So, the best thing you can do with a Boltgun is have two of them and guntape them together. Luckily that is what a Stormbolter is. The Codex indicates that it's simply too difficult for most Astartes to use properly. Instead it's limited to Sergeants and Veterans.

Space Marine purposefully balances it. This contradits the Codex, but what they did was allow you to do a lot of damage over a short period of time. After which the weapon was no longer pointing anywhere near where you wanted to be. This because Space Marine added recoil. People might immediately think it's recoil, but one of the points of the Boltgun is to dramatically limit the amount of recoil. Maybe the 25mm cannon still has ridiculous recoil after being dramatically reduced. In Space Marine, this works wonderfully, as the characters are FPS PC's moving in ways that only make sense for FPS PC's. Time on target is extremely small, and so you need as much firepower as you can get. Sadly, when used at range, the rapid fire makes it difficult to get most of our bolts on target.

The main reason it's not in Boltgun is because there is no recoil. Caedo could easily annihilate his enemies with a Stormbolter. Well, there's always hope for the sequel.

Stalker (pattern) Boltgun

A Boltgun turned into a Tactical Marksman Rifle. Silencer, enhanced optics. Each bolt hits harder, but the mag size is limited to 10. Space Marine turns the Armour into a recharging shield, (still call armour), a single headshot from any bolt weapon will kill any Marine with a broken shield. It takes two Stalker Bolts to break the shield. One of the Multiplayer upgrades fires two bolts per shot. There is climb. If you aim for centre of mass, the two shots will lift you up to about head-level. It only takes one shot. Because of this, if they know someone is watching with a Stalker Boltgun, they will NEVER stand still on a point that is visible to your vantage point. This is called Suppression, which Space Marine's multiplayer doesn't give you points for, you fucking assholes!

Plasma Cannon

Like the Plasmagun, but fit for a Devastator. It does all of the wonderful Plasmagun things, just bigger, better, and more explodey, (both in the good and bad way).

Lascannon

The only weapon in Space Marine without a hit-aiming reticle. For about a week, I was good enough to no-sight them from my hip, but other than that it's almost impossible. This makes up for it with a LOT of power. It is designed to take out tanks, afterall, but it does work well as a sniper rifle. A headshot from will kill any Marine, other than those with Iron Halos. Even if you don't kill them with your first shot, they will be wounded and prey for anyone with a single bolt.

Gravcannon

GW has a strange relationship with Grav weapons. On one hand they are a forgotten technology, and the ones we have a venerated god-machines. On the other hand, they are just, if not more available than the other weapons. Only Blood Angels can use Hand Flamers and Inferno Pistols, but every Sergeant can have a Grav pistol if they want.

In Boltgun, the Grav Cannon is the big daddy of all weapons. The weapon saved for bosses, and it does a LOT of damage. It's strength explicitly increases with the enemy's toughness. This is what a Grav Cannon is supposed to do.

Volkite Caliver

The Martian Deathray. This is the most useful, balanced weapon outside of the Boltgun. The big difference is that you burn through ammo way too quickly. Technically, the light machinegun version, but that's not going to slow you down. You can use it as sweeping rays of doom. You can use it as a penetrating way. You can use it against swarms. You can use it against tough enemies. It has S:6, meaning it deals great damage to everything but bosses, and still does decent damage to bosses. It doesn't have the slow down of Heavy Boltguns, it's ammo isn't as precious as the Grav Cannon, but still pretty precious. It can be used in close-range without any consequences. It can sweep through enemy ranks without risk of getting hit by the AoE.

Volkite weapons are also ALMOST lost technology, so the only reason you can use it is that Graia is a Forgeworld.

[i-was-bored-so-this-happened]

Greensleeves Chapter Twenty-Two: Bottom Of The River

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3 Warnings: None [i don't think] Wordcount: 4.2k

The party hunt down the hag living in the swamp and have to get through her lair before they can confront her

Read on AO3 Previous Chapter | Next Chapter Writing Masterpost

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Needless to say, Lae’zel isn’t thrilled about yet another detour. Astarion, on the other hand, is thrilled at the prospect of stabbing more people. To be honest, Xaph feels a little stabby too. The Gur hunter had rubbed her the wrong way. Willing to make a deal with a hag to catch a runaway vampire spawn, only to let the hag off the hook. It sounds like a deal Xaph herself would have struck a few years ago, for the right reward, and it isn’t sitting well in her stomach. At least it’s sitting better than the crackers and apples Shadowheart had fed to Wyll that Gale is now using prestidigitation cantrip after prestidigitation cantrip to clean off the padded fabric of his armour.

“Lae’zel, I promise that this will be the last delay. It’s Ethel, it has to be Ethel, she’s a hag. She’s cursed this land, polluted it, and who knows how many people she’s tricked? She’s wormed her way,” the choice of words sends the parasite in her skull swirling towards her eye socket, “into a place of trust in these settlements, she got past the druids-”

“And yet you cannot be sure of yourself. Tchk. Your mind is as weak as your heart. Would you have me spill blood for every sickly stray who doesn’t have the wits to protect themselves?”

“So you would have handed Astarion over, just like that?”

“That is not what I said. Astarion is competent enough with his blades.”

“I understand, I’m a bleeding heart, and I could be wrong. I get it,” Xaph pauses to take a breath, “You get Wyll out of here, take him somewhere safe. Astarion and I will deal with the hag. I’m sorry, but I can’t leave this place knowing she’s here taking advantage of people’s desperation.”

“For the record, I just want to kill something,” Astarion points out, tossing the dagger still coated in the Gur’s blood back and forth between his hands, “In case any of you were under the impression that I’d become a goody-two-shoes.”

“Just the two of you?” Gale asks, “Hags are highly skilled in illusory and enchantment magic and in possession of singularly cruel imaginations.”

“Might be in need of a heavy hitter.” Karlach adds.

“I was going for another who was more versed in magic than them, but that too.” Gale concedes.

“Xaph, are you also feeling insulted?” Astarion asks. 

“Only a little,” Xaph replies, “But I’m not going to refuse help.”

“I still do not agree with this.” Lae’zel points out, just to remind them.

“We can take Wyll back to the grove and wait for Halsin.” Shadowheart suggests, slotting her hands under Wyll’s arms to prepare to lift him.

“Back to the fucking grove again,” Lae’zel mutters before glancing at the half-elf, “Am I using that word right?”

“Yes, yes you are,” Shadowheart assures her before hoisting Wyll up and over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, “Come on, let the heroes do the hero thing.” Astarion makes a disgusted noise at the implication of his being a hero, and then he turns to Xaph. Along with Gale and Karlach. All three look at her expectantly.

“How did I become the leader of this party?” Xaph asks, incredulous.

“We took a vote,” Gale reminds her, “And a recount when Karlach joined us.”

“I voted for fangs over here.” Karlach says, light-hearted and joking.

“We are not doing nicknames.” Astarion tells her.

“Alright, kids. Karlach, with me. Astarion, to the back. Blades, not bows. Gale, tell us everything you know about green hags.”

“Green? As opposed to what?” Karlach asks, “A hag’s a hag, isn’t it?”

“Well, actually, Karlach…”

***

The hag’s lair is…disconcerting, to say the least. Under the illusion that had made the putrid swamp appear to be cheerful marshland it had no doubt looked like a charming little cottage, but now the magic’s been lifted it’s not much more than rotting planks of wood held together with spiderwebs and moss. The steps to the door give and creak under their weight. The flowerpots are full of mulch writhing with worms and snails, and a nearby well stinks of death. Promises of what’s to come, as Astarion says. They don’t try to sneak in, it would be pointless to take the time to tread the boards of the steps to learn which creak and which don’t. No, no, they stroll in casually, as though they’re friends with the inhabitant. Which, it turns out, in a way they are. It is Auntie Ethel that greets them. The old human woman who had something of a stall in the druid grove, who hawked lotions and potions and pressed homebrewed healing potions into their hands at every given opportunity. She’d been trusted by the druids. Trusted by the tieflings. Now she stands in this rotten place as though it’s a palace, and gestures proudly as though she’s its queen,

“Why, hello, petals. My, my, I’ve a whole flower bed here. You took ages to get here. Relax and have a cuppa, hm?”

“Ohh, I don’t think so,” Astarion whispers, shifting his weight to lean in Xaph’s direction, “We only popped in for a chat, after all.”

“Do not.” Xaph hisses back at the sound of a knife being drawn. Their discussion hasn’t been caught by Ethel, who has focused her attention elsewhere.

“Gods grant me patience, eat up, Mayrina! I won’t say it again.” The old woman’s voice snaps, brittle as twigs. Mayrina is a young woman whose wild blond hair is streaked with soot and her dirty green dress is stretched tight over a rounded belly. Almost ready to pop. Gale successfully wrangles his worm into conveying a message, Hags and newborn babes are not a good combination. The girl sits at a table laden with food. Food covered in mould and flies, half-eaten and bearing the nibble marks of rats. The only clean parts of her face are the tracks made by tears. Gale’s worm nudges at Xaph’s. Karlach’s is less gentle.

“Do you treat all your guests so poorly?” Xaph asks, crossing her arms. To appear non-threatening or to be confrontational? Who’s to say?

“You’re quite right petal,” Ethel’s voice has reverted back to cotton, “Forgive me if I get a bit sharp. My work wears something awful on me.”

“I’ll bet.” Karlach remarks under her breath.

“You see, I help people from all over Faerun,” Ethel continues as though uninterrupted, “And you, petal, need a lot of help. That wriggler swimming in your brain juice is a bit of an inconvenience, isn’t it?”

Shadowheart wouldn’t let me tell her about the tadpoles, Astarion murmurs through the chain of parasites, buzzkill that she is. How does the hag know?

She’s fey, she can probably sense the magic around them that Halsin and the guardian described. Gale explains.

“Don’t change the subject, Ethel. Why is she here?” Xaph asks. The girl’s eyes are wide and scared and raw from crying. 

“The girl is none of your business. I’ll talk about your wriggler, and that’s it.” Ethel warns. Xaph sucks in a breath and clicks her tongue against her back teeth while behind her, her tail reaches out to push into Karlach’s knee.

“Well, to be honest, I’m more interested in her wriggler and what your intentions are for it. Looking to start your own coven?”

“Oh, smart cookie, are you? You want to play the hero so badly? Fine. Let’s make this interesting.” With a snap of her fingers and a swirl of magic, Mayrina’s gone. Karlach swears. The transformation of the hag is a lot faster than the transformation of the swamp. Ethel pushes a hand out towards them, all crooked fingers, and twists it in the air. With that twist, everything changes. Her skin is no longer softly liver-spotted from age but green, tight over long fingers that end in claws. In a moment, she’s twice the height she was, leaving the entire party tipping their heads back to stare up at the hag that now grins down at them with rows of needle teeth. Before Karlach can bury her greatsword in the juncture between head and shoulder, the hag has turned tail and phased clean through the only stone wall in the building. 

“She…she ran away? We’re not that scary,” Astarion glances at each member of the group, reassessing, “Gale’s not scary at all, maybe he’s bringing our intimidation score down.” Gale doesn’t deign to respond verbally, only making a rude gesture in Astarion’s direction while he inspects the wall Ethel had disappeared through. 

“No, fangs, she’s playing keep-away,” Xaph almost laughs at the promise of a proper hunt as she strings her bow, “Hag lairs tend to be subterranean. She wants to see if we have the guts to follow her down there.”

“Do we?” Astarion asks.

“Are you going to let Lae’zel and Shadowheart call you a coward?”

“Cowardice is an underutilised tool.”

“Here!” Gale calls. He’s standing in the fireplace, directly on the coals, but he doesn’t seem to be burning, “It’s an illusory wall,” the upper half of his body disappears into the stones, then pulls back, “There’s a set of stairs on the other side, she must have gone down here.”

The tunnel under the teahouse is thick with overgrown roots and vines and requires care to avoid tripping over the plants and the snares. It’s a foreboding place, lit by glowing fungi but twisting away so harshly that they can’t see what’s ahead of them. Someone is whimpering, begging, and their voice echoes up the tunnel towards the party. Eventually, the tunnel opens into a cave. A cauldron bubbles sickly in the centre, circled by bones and twigs. There are people down here. People plural. Victims. As Xaph had feared, but hoped against anyway. A skull impaled on a branch, staring into a mirror that holds a pale, imprecise reflection. My sweet Calim, whose beloved asked that his beauty never fade. It’s Ethel’s voice ringing in their heads, startling them all. Xaph tenses, takes half-a-step back and feels the barest press of Gale’s hand against her lower back before Astarion slinks between the two of them. None of them say anything, the shock of the hag’s lair temporarily silencing them. Ethel’s in their heads. Or an echo of her is. When Karlach passes the skull the same sentence sings out, my sweet Calim…

A human holds her own head in her hands, my darling Magron. She wished for the mind of a genius, but the silly head crossed me, and as Ethel’s voice describes the torment the decapitated head blinks, wrinkles its nose as though to hitch up a pair of glasses. Still alive. The body breathes, but does nothing else. Kept alive, but in stasis. An elf lies dead on the floor, her eyes wrenched from their sockets and speared on twigs that stick out from the walls, this poor dear wished never to lay eyes on her family again. She appears to have died at her own hand, and her enchanted eyes left behind as another part of the hag’s security system. A dwarf is cast in stone a few steps away, and stones surround him with faces carved into them. A woman, children, my dearest Efrin, he begged me to halt the disease that ravaged him.

“We have to help these people.” Karlach says, voice hushed.

“I don’t know that we can do anything but put them out of their misery,” Gale replies, not as shaken as the others would expect him to be, “Regardless, we’d have to kill the hag.”

“Let’s kill the hag, then.” Karlach decides. She must be able to hear them, Ethel, because now she speaks again, unscripted lines echoing through the cave,

You’re as thick as they come, sweetness. This is my personal playhouse, and you don’t have an invite. Get. Out. Karlach turns in preparation should the hag actually be in the chamber with them, but she isn’t ,

“Or what, bitch?” the barbarian asks aloud to the room.

Oh, the cocky ones are my favourites to chew on. Keep going, petal, and you’ll find out, Ethel’s sentence peters away into cackles as a growl builds in the back of Karlach’s throat. 

“Astarion, help me look for a door, would you?” Gale asks. The rogue manages to work a backhanded compliment into his agreement, but he does follow the wizard to inspect the walls. Xaph, with a careful signal flashed behind her back at Karlach, moves towards the pained sobbing that hasn’t stopped since they set foot in the tunnel. A second elf is cowering in a corner, surrounded by even more mirrors and timepieces suspended in the vines of the walls. He’s the most alive of all of her victims: in one piece, moving, speaking. An elf. How long has he been here? His voice overlaps with Ethel’s echo as Xaph triggers the explanation of his fate,

My gentle Lorin - don’t look - he wished - don’t - to know what was - don’t look - to come. 

“Hello? Can you hear me?” Xaph asks, bending her knees to be closer to the ground. He’s on his knees, his arms wrapped around his head presumably to cover his eyes and ears, rocking back and forth, “Your name is Lorin. Our names are Xaph and Karlach. Can you hear us?” he just keeps repeating the same thing, 

“Don’t look. Don’t look. Please, please stop.”

“Lorin, we’re here to help. To get you away from the hag.”

“No. No. Don’t look. Mustn’t look. Mustn’t see.”

“See what?”

“I see what’s to come,” Lorin answers. New words as his unwinds his arms, “Me, dead. Dead. Fleshrotten, boneshining, skullsplitting, knifetwisting, gutspilling-”

“Hey. Hey! Lorin-” at the third mention of his name the elf finally turns his head and opens his eyes to look at Xaph. He shrieks and shies away again instantaneously,

“Gods! Don’t hurt me! Please, please don’t hurt me, please please please.”

“You’re safe with me, I swear.” Xaph offers a gentle hand.

“No. No! Monster,” Monster. She’s heard that one before. The quip about bringing her elf friend over to help him instead is ready to trip off her tongue but Lorin has more to say, “Mindripping, fleshpeeling,” he flings his arm out wildly and knocks Xaph’s hand away, spittle spraying from the next word, “Mindflayer!” It’s his new repetition, over and over again as he resumes his earlier position of being curled into a tight ball, mindflayer mindflayer mindflayer-

“Let’s go, soldier,” Karlach says softly. She wants to reach out to her friend so badly, but she can’t. She has to bring Xaph back with words alone, “Maybe if we kill the hag he’ll be free.”

“Maybe,” Xaph stands again, not quite able to look away from the elf on the ground, “Mindflayer. It’s not going to happen,” she turns her head to the side until Lorin and Karlach are both in her scope of sight, “To any of us. I won’t let it.”

“I know you won’t,” Karlach assures her. Xaph wipes Lorin’s spit off her face and turns fully to her friend, “Come on, I think the boys have found a way through.” Gale and Astarion have convinced a huge, gnarled door out of hiding. It’s in the shape of a face. Astarion seems to be in discussion with the door, while Gale inspects items upon a nearby table. 

“Another victim,” Astarion tells the tieflings when they rejoin the group, “Transformed into her door, and every time he lets someone in another ten years are added to his debt. Too scared to let us through, and I did tell him we would gut her but he only showed me a preview of how she would eat me.”

“It’s impressive magic.” Gale admits from his study corner.

“It’s a man turned into a door?” Karlach asks for clarification, which Astarion gives with a nod, “It’s disgusting is what it is.”

“Uh, yes, that too,” Gale adds, “But Astarion did talk him into showing us a way though, whether he meant to or not. These masks seem to be worn by victims the hag keeps alive to use as servants,” he shows them the mask, cracked wood in a shape not unlike an exaggerated jester face, “The theory is that if we wear these, we’ll be granted entrance. The downside of course being that we open our minds to the hag’s influence and she will most certainly order us to kill each other immediately. Another option would be for one of us to wear the mask, and then if we were all physically linked we should be able to get through the door as one.”

“But someone still has to put on the mask for that. They’ll be controlled by the hag.”

“Indeed, we’d need someone of exceptionally strong will. As a wizard, of markedly high acclaim and education, I would say I’d have the best chance.”

“That sounds…stupid dangerous.” Xaph says.

“A wizard’s middle name.” Gale says proudly, holding up his index finger.

“Gale ‘stupid dangerous’ of Waterdeep,” Astarion muses, “You know what, I’ll buy it.”

“Are you sure about this?” Xaph asks.

“Oh, not entirely. I’m not overly familiar with fey magic, it’s the Weave I know,” Gale answers, “But I know more than the rest of you.”

“Brilliant, let’s give it a go!” Astarion decides. Xaph flaps an irritated hand at him and steps forward, closer to Gale,

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Look at what she’s done to the people in here without free access to their brains. There has to be another way.”

“Finding another way would cost Mayrina and her child - and anyone else in there - time they can’t afford,” Gale reasons, “Besides, as Mystra’s former Chosen, I can be fairly certain when it comes to matters of magic,” Well, he’s right that they shouldn’t waste time. And that he knows magic best. Gale holds the mask in his palm and offers his other hand to Xaph, “Trust me.”

“Alright, fine. We’ll try it.” Xaph slides her hand over Gales and he pushes his fingers between hers. She twists to reach for Astarion with her other hand, but lets him close the gap. He does it, rolling his eyes, but he does do it. It’s strange, one familiarly warm and the other cold and bony. Karlach wraps her fingers around the leather strap that crosses Astarion’s back to hold his quiver of arrows. They all step together.

***

A fight had been waiting for them on the other side of the enchanted door. There had barely been time to wrench the mask off Gale’s face before a battleaxe had sliced through the air between Astarion and Karlach. The latter had promptly stamped on the enchanted mask before charging into battle, but she had quickly been stopped by a fear-based spell hurled in her direction by one of four masked figures that faced them. Afterwards, Gale is the last of the party to be treated, aside from Xaph herself. She welcomes him into her makeshift office, in the cleanest corner of the cavern she could find. Away from the pitiful pile of bodies. They’d tried to save the hag’s victims - removing the mask from one of them was the first thing Karlach had done after she’d knocked them unconscious - but the moment the cracked jester masks had broken contact with their skin they’d seized and died. Under the hag’s influence for too long, was Gale’s best guess. Their minds were no longer their own. Just clay to be squashed into shape. Despite being little more than puppets, they had fought hard. Perhaps taking Shadowheart would have been a good idea but Wyll needed her more, so it’s up to Xaph to patch everyone up.

“Come here,” Xaph lifts her arms to take Gale’s face in her hands as he moves to kneel in front of her, “What’s the damage?” one hand busies itself cleaning the gash down the side of his face while the other searches blindly for something on the flat rock surface beside her, “Are we talking limbs, torso or noggin?”

“Or what?” Gale asks, confused at an unclear or unfamiliar word. He must have heard wrong. He’s very good with words. 

“Head.” Xaph clarifies. 

“Well, if you’re offering, darling-” Xaph leans to the side to yell back at the voice curling around the rocks, 

“Piss off, Astarion, you can have my blood when I’m done with it!” The tiefling refocuses her attention on the human in front of her and catches a drop of his blood before it drips off his chin. His blood is an unusual colour, a deep purplish plum instead of the standard red. Part of the orb’s rot, no doubt. “Tilt your head up for me…there, good,” Xaph guides his head back and he complies without question. She finds a second, deeper cut across his collarbone that tears into the neck of his robe, “Hells, she did not leave you in suspense, did she? Where else?” Xaph thumbs a goodberry into his mouth before offering him her hand. He takes it and moves it to show her where he’s been hit. Blood marks his robe in a few places and when Xaph finds a slash in the material she pokes a finger through it and tuts, “We have got to get you some armour.”

“Not exactly traditional wizard garb,” Gale grouses, “The robes do have a function, we wizards need simple garments for manoeuvrability and ease of focus.”

“Non-negotiable, I’m afraid,” Xaph tells him, bending to one side and lifting his arm slowly and carefully, “I’m not asking you to wear a full splint or plate or anything, just something light. Leather, maybe, that’s the easiest to move in. Something. Because this isn’t doing anything to protect you and it’ll only go to rags.”

“Honestly, Xaph, it’s not that important. What are a few bumps and scrapes on an adventure such as this?” he asks. It’s the wrong move. Xaph grabs his chin again, her fingers stained with his blood, and the green rings of her irises pin him to the very ground as she asks,

“Why is it that I show more concern for your life than you do?” She’s searching for something in her eyes, reflected back at him in her pupils.

“That is not the case. It is not, I swear it. It is simply that I am familiar with these robes, I know how to cast in them.” There’s more he could say, much more, but now is neither the time nor the place. He’s still holding her hand, the one he’d been guiding over his body to find injuries. 

“Good. Then when I find you a nice leather cuirass, you’re going to wear it. You can even dye it purple,” she chucks his chin and sits back to sort through her supplies, having completed her initial examination, “For now, I’m going to need you to take off the robe and the shirt to get to these wounds,” Xaph cleans off her hands as well as she can and calls to Karlach to find out where Astarion’s gone. He’s scouting ahead, troubled by the traps they’d found in the swamp. When she turns back to Gale, he’s still fully clothed. He hasn’t even moved to undo the ties of his robe, “Gale? D’you hear me?” He can’t meet her gaze and his hands are still even though he nods. Nervous. 

“I- I can’t.” He admits. Short sentences aren’t usually a good sign. It doesn’t take her too long to understand. She can count on one hand the number of times she’s seen him dressed in less than four layers of clothing, and all of those times have been when he’s under a quilt about to fall asleep except for that singular morning they’d sat by the river and traded secrets. Karlach and Lae’zel walk around in leather smallclothes, Astarion undoes the ties of his shirt and rolls the sleeves to his elbows. Gale doesn’t. Xaph reaches for the torn shoulder of his robe, lifts the purple flap of material up to where it should be, and presses her palm into it,

“Okay,” she pulls her hand away and sets two bottles, a tub of paste and a fistful of rag-bandages in front of him, “I’ll keep Karlach and Astarion out of the way. You put the paste on anything that’s bleeding, then cloth to cover it. This on anything bruised, and then,” she takes a gulp from the second bottle, “Drink the rest of that.” Xaph breathes in, puts her hands on her knees and pushes herself to her feet. She only allows herself to breathe out once she’s drawn herself up to her full height, in the hopes that the gash on her hip will hurt less. It stings with every breath as though it’s on her lung. Gale stares at the ground a moment longer before lifting his head to look up at her. Confusion wrinkles between his eyebrows briefly, and then relief smoothes it out.

“Thank you.” He says. Xaph nods, giving a small smile, then wanders away. She effectively pulls Karlach into her orbit and takes the barbarian over to the waterfall Astarion had jumped through to explore.

[slimereader]

Dragon Quest V - Victory!

On September 24, 2023, I beat DQV. I started this save on the Android version in 2019. I managed to beat Nimzo on my first attempt! My strategy:

I prioritized abilities that can be used without spending MP and items with infinite uses. That meant I mostly used monsters on my team, although I did have at least one twin all the time, so I still got lots of party chat. For most battles including bosses, I only used four party members, although I did utilize all 8 during the final battle. My mainstays:

Ryuka the Hero (LV:37) with Pankraz's sword, Pallium Regale, Ogre shield, Meteorite bracer, and Elfin charm. Mostly physical attacks and reviving with Zing and Kerplunk. I did cast Kaswoosh a few times. Due to my carelessness I had to Kerplunk him early on in the second phase, and he remained dead for most of the fight lol.

"Harry " the Hero's Son (LV:34) with Zenithian Sword, Zenithian Armour, Zenithian Shield, and Iron helmet. Physical attacks and some Kazap, while rationing MP for a few key heals and Kazing. The Zenithian Sword itself is critical for removing magic like Bounce from enemies, although I used that more against Bjorn than Nimzo.

Harriet the Hero's Daughter (LV:31) with Faerie foil, Princess's robe, Scale shield, Happy hat, Circle of Life, Circle of Water, and Dragon staff. Yes, I only used her to cast Puff! with the Dragon staff. I kept her in the wagon until very late in the game, so she was a bit under-leveled for a while. In my defense, Puff! worked great and she's immune to fire breath attacks while transformed into a dragon, which is useful since almost all the bosses seem to use them. I think she got in a few Kacrackles as well.

Goodian the Slime knight (LV:37) with Steel broadsword, Spiked armour, Dark shield, Hardwood headwear, Magma staff, and Sage's stone. I would have him cast Boom on normal enemies, but for big bosses he was the healer. He was pretty fast and couldn't be killed in one hit. Obviously the Sage's stone was a goddess-send; with him healing everyone a little bit every turn, I used relatively few healing spells. I think he also had an Elfin elixir which I used on the Hero's Son and the Yggdrasil dew. The Magma staff doesn't do very much damage, but better than his physical attack while saving MP.

The rest of the party sat totally neglected in the wagon, biding their time and gaining experience points. I was afraid they'd be useless in the final battle, but they proved me wrong. The cavalry:

Mason the Golem (LV:20) with Double-edged sword, Zombie mail, Iron shield, and Hades' helm. You get the Double-edged sword not long before the final battle, and I equipped it to my Golem as an afterthought. It worked AMAZINGLY WELL. Between the Golem's high defense and health, Meditation skill, and Focus Strength skill, the damage dealt far outweighed the recoil. And skills don't cost MP! A surprise heavy-hitter, I think he probably did the most damage out of everyone besides maybe the Hero's Son.

Kim the Chimaera (LV:25) with Cobra claw, Dark robe, and Hermes' hat. Mostly I took her out only to Multiheal, but her Freezing Blizzard skill also came in handy (for the low cost of 0 MP).

Mohicat the Great Sabrecat (LV:32) with Orichalcum fangs, Leather kilt, Iron helmet, and Bianca's ribbon. I hadn't focused on his build at all, so I was a bit worried about his defense, but thanks to his speed and luck he stayed alive for a decently long time. Just Focus Strength and attack.

Drongo the Drag-goof (LV:16) with Iron cuirass and Top hat. He was one of my main party members until I replaced him with a better dragon... the Hero's Daughter. Flame Breath nonstop.

I did find it funny that the Hero's family were widely celebrated for defeating Nimzo and not the good, honest, hard-working monsters. After all that fighting, it's time for the victory celebration!

[egodb]

Ascent to the Altus Plateau

Descent into Madness

Magma Wyrm Makar

Note: Notes to myself, and the void. Possible ** SPOILERS **

Attempt 1: Oh, I can summon help. Umm...what am I fighting? Fire lizard‽ Scary, run, roll, roll, roll, get one-shot

Attempt 2: Oh, big fire lizard has big sword. Do some damage, get one-shot again

Attempt 3: Oh, rampaging this time huh. Good, that didn't kill me in one blow. Oh, why'd I die? Lava kills me too huh

Attempt 4: Oh, spinny attack.

Attempt 5: Wyrm can jump.

Attempt 6: Wyrm, stop trampling me.

Attempt 7: Lemme try a light roll. That's helping a lot actually. Finally got a critical hit, yeah! Oh, consecutive one-shot moves huh.

Attempt 8: Wyrm's got moves. Almost got it! I'd've won if I'd gotten my last hit in! Ugh!

Attempt 9: Hurried too much, crushed. Literally.

Attempt 10: see above.

Attempt 11: Note to self: The fall animation after a crit hit is invincible. And maybe AVOID the lava.

Attempt 12: I said avoid.

Attempt 13: Staying under the wyrm isn't the best idea. Wait, 💡 I have a blood greatsword. Idiot.

Attempt 14: Blood loss drains HP so fast. But Wyrm is so active close to death.

Attempt 15: Wyrm ran from the other side. What's changed? Nothing apparently.

Attempt 16: I understand you're angry, Wyrm, but...

Attempt 17: Chopped by the Wyrm

Attempt 18: Mt collaborators died by half HP. It's me and you, Wyrm, but it seems I'm no match. At least I don't spit.

Attempt 19: Nope. Need more patience.

Attempt 20: What was it I had said about lava...?

Attempt 21: Blocking me from getting away from lava, huh. You wanna play dirty?

Attempt 22: Fine. That one you won fair and square.

Attempt 23: That's a far reach. Literally.

Attempt 24: Progress. 2 crit hits, and 2x blood loss damage.

Attempt 25: Secondary blood loss weapon, and primary heavy hitter. Sigh, see above.

Attempt 26: Don't forget the move that one-shots you.

Attempt 27: Hey me, me? Hello? Heal. Please.

Attempt 28: See #26.

Attempt 29: See. Above.

Attempt 30: Dodging the one hit KO shot is good, but don't stand around in lava.

~~ Intermission ~~

Attempt 31: How do I get stuck in hot drool?

Attempt 32: A 4 swing combo attack.

Attempt 33: Guess who got stuck in the hot below the wyrm, again!

Attempt 34: Ooh (heavy), that lasted 10 seconds.

Attempt 35: Something interrupted my chug of crimson. It was sa-lava.

Attempt 36: Not even till half HP.

Atteml 37: Maybe I can don more armour now that I know the attacks better. Doesn't mean I can tank the one-shotter. Haha.

Attempt 38: Began questioning my skill in the game.

Attempt 39: Tried solo. What were Blackguard and Great Horned Tragoth even doing? High DPS + shield might be the way.

Attempt 40: Fighting alone, I perform almost as good as with Blackguard and the G.H. Tragoth. They need to give me a review if their fight plans. The quick second one got me yet again.

Attempt 41: tired sigh

Attempt 42: Knew the quick one was coming, but got the timing wrong. Dep breaths.

Attempt 43: Trample, lava, trample, lava.

Attempt 44: Forgot to heal. Haha. Remember #8?

Attempt 45: I defeated Agheel. I should have some fireproof stuff...nope, but time for some heavy rolling with the Banished Knight Set. Hmm...decently far without much damage, other than Wyrm one-shotting me yet again.

Attempt 46: Heavy rolling out of drool? Impossible.

Attempt 47: Light roll it is. Naaaaaaargh. So close! Got my timing wrong. Deeper breaths. We're close.

Attempt 48: Deep breaths.

Attempt 49: To be trampled and dragged through lava by a Wyrm. Hot.

Attempt 50: Same fate.

Attempt 51: Giving Blackguard and GH Tragoth a chance to prove themselves again.

Attempt 52: Caught in the animation and died of hot saliva.

Attempt 53: An average run.

Attempt 54: Surrounding yourself on all sides by lava is a cheese strat, and you know it, Wyrm.

Attempt 55: (to the tune of Drunken Sailor) Guess who died in the pool of sa-lava 🎶

Attempt 56: Rinse. Repeat.

Attempt 57: Died to the one-shotter again. I think I just need to farm upgrades on my weapon. See you soon, Wyrm.

Attempt 58: Got +8 to +10 on my Halberd. Last 3 attempts today or I'll go insane. Welp, died in 10 seconds again.

Attempt 59: Got Wyrm down to 30% without taking a hit, and then got one-shot with 7 flasks left. Ha~

Attempt 60: Decided to take all hits this time huh. Down to 40%

Attempt 61: Got the timing wrong on the one-shotter. I guess I am insane.

Attempt 62: Hey now Wyrm, are you changing your attack patterns?

Attempt 63: Kinda close, bur not really. #65 *is* my last attempt today.

Attempt 64: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! MY HEART IS RACING.

Edit: Didn't know that was the last obstacle before reaching the Altus Plateau. It's so... golden and ... electric

[shadowbender19]

And we’re back folks, if not a few days late. Sorry about that, I had to write a classics essay, of all things, so that held me up a tad. Despite that, here are my live thoughts and reactions for the new (and final :( ) Heartless video. Enjoy!

Alastor

“Curse of the hollow” is a vibe of a name, also I giving me Molly flashbacks

Ah yes, Genshin, something that I definitely know about (sarcastic)

Mythology vibes? We Stan

I love the attitude of, even if it gets scrapped or the comic never gets made, its fine, its fun to make. It’s a great philosopher towards creation

Yeah, he do be a vampire

Black hole/void magic is so cool. The audio it brings to mind is stunning

I love a spooky arm

The stars are plot significant

You can tell that I love the spooky arm thing, cause it is the main aesthetic of one of my D&D characters lol

Lorelei

I hate spelling her name, brain says no

I know that poster girl is a very common phrase, but for Lorelei specifically, it gives such a strong image. Those huge theatre posters that can’t fit on your wall, yeah that

Shoutout to all the people who did the black swan fanart

(Notes app tried to correct ‘fanart’ to ‘canary’ apple explain)

Ah yes, bird

Lorelei’s outfit being even slightly based on a wrestler is such a vibe. I don’t know what that vibe is, but it is indeed a vibe

Star placement is once again iconic. I feel like I’ll be saying that a lot tonight

The idea of the Lorelei fandom that almost certain exists in the Heartless universe having wild conspiricy theories about her tattoos gives me life, cause you know they would.

Diana

Cool cowboy + spy is a stunning aesthetic. That post about stealth vs. Russian stealth is strong with this one

The Eye!

As someone going through a Sandman phase, the ideas that come to mind at Diana being based on the Fates are numerous

The wld west vibes + the snakes are stunning.

So many references I don’t understand lol. Is this how my friends feel every time I speak?

Taking the two ‘heavy hitter’ characters and giving them the most ‘big brain strats’ fighting dynamic would make for such fun fights. Especially compared to other random fights that may happen in the series

Lance

The bastard boi!

Yes Alex, make it gayer. As God intended

My screen is small so I cannot see the face. Very sad

Alastor makes Lance captain for one day. He thinks, the guys literally a knight, how bad could it be? Next day Alastor revokes Lance’s position as captain

Alastor walking into a cell block, pointing at Lance and saying that one before walking out as the guards release Lance.

I don’t know why Lance is giving me the strong fan fiction ideas but here we are

He would call his sword teeth

He do be Erza

I actually did watch the video after he mentioned it in the last video. If you haven’t I highly recommend. Stunt people are icons. And nerds apparently

Eira knowing the ex-owners of Lance’s swords is great angst material.

Part of me says ‘armour cool’ Gremlin brain says ‘armour go clang when he walk’

I have not yet mentioned how much I love this specific art style from these videos so I will say so now.

Scales look amazing. That’s the comment

Shiny orange on the armour giving me NRG from ben 10 vibes

Scales on the sword handle. I love the attention to detail

Bandy

My beloved

He do be giving Mr Compress Vibes since day 1

Swap

The personality swap fits are great guys, never stop

(There’s a character in the current fairy tail manga who does something like this in a really fun way. Not relevant just came to mind)

The line between cliche and aesthetic is very thin

When he said, ‘not just normally playing cards’, my brain went straight to the idea of him having an absurd amalgamation of different card sets. Like he has a few Pokemon cards, a yugioh card, maybe something from magic the gathering. Black cards makes a lot more sense

Swap

Contract demons. terrifying

Pretty hair!

Puff go the sleeves

(Good lord my gremlin brain is taking over these comments)

I think I would prefer the banter rather than miming, but that’s just me.

I love this pose

Dock

Dock is probably the character I’ve seen the most fanart of

Right there! Love that he labeled it

Gross and scary and kind of decomposing. Now more people are going to have a crush on him

OMG, he’s an empath

Goop

We love a creepy cleric

“Pause for ADHD moment”

Another creepy arm!

Can’t wait to see this coloured (specifically talking about creepy hand)

“And also, pretty hot” - I have no words. I love

Alex paying specific mention to Dock showing his arm gives me the same vibe as that Tumblr post about the Mandelorians wrist

Love the Disney villain green on this guy

I was right, the creepy arm looked great in colour.

Final thoughts- This new style continues to impress me. I don’t know enough about art to say what’s change, but I absolutely adore it. The way it makes things glow especially sparks joy.

The curse names give me such strong DND vibes, specifically subclasses. But that may just be that bloodhunter subclasses are all order and they use curses. No more Heartless videos makes me sad, I hope that we get more content in the future. It may take some time for me to get excited at the idea of a new concept corner, but I know I will and I know I’ll love it. Heartless has been, and probably will continue to be my comfort YouTube series.

[jazz-miester]

If I'm to have you, what then?

Pairing: Optimus x Elita x Reader

Reader type: Gender Neutral bot

Song: Beyond the pines- Thrice

Warnings: Reader doesn't think to highly of themselves.

An: I've wanted to write for these two for so long lol. Enjoy!

You have been called many things in your life. Autobot, soldier, enemy, friend. And more often have fallen from My Spark to my ex.

You have fallen in and out of love often enough to make you wonder if you were truly worthy of any sort of affection from another.

Often you wonder what it would be like to glow in the light of another's affections. To be the soul standing stone in their chaos as they would be for you.

Your hands and body scared and beaten from millennia in this war. To battered for most others. To focused on themselves to help you gather your pieces when you did everything for them. Handing over bits of yourself until you bled. Gathering them at their lowest and helping them rise only to leave you in the shadow of what you once were.

So, imagine you surprise when Prime himself and his conjux Elita came to you with an offer.

You had jumped at the offer to work under them and their group when it was given to you. Apparently they had good use for you and your skills.

And quickly. Very quickly. Did you fall into favor with Optimus and Elita.

It started with simple talks in the rec room. Energon in hand. You had been alone. Most others not wanting to talk to you having heard about you and the black marks in your records.

Those black marks had nothing to do with you. The only ones who knew were the autobot commanders themselves.

Elita had been first. And you had been entranced. Soothing voice and field. She had spoken to you as if you were a long time friend. Didn't speak down to you like many of your other employers and commanders. Didn't act as if she were afraid of you and those little black marks.

You felt guilty late at night as you dreamt of her. Felt guilty for that little longing pull in your spark you had long since learned to squash down. Having been made fun of for having an open spark. A hopeless romantic.

It could never work. She was just friendly. A good commander.

And she already had a conjux.

You cursed yourself and those pitter patter of feelings when Prime was next. Perhaps Elita told of you to him. Perhaps he did this with all new recruit's to his team. His group was small enough.

His servo on your shoulder. Large and heavy. Comforting warmth as be welcomed you to his team. Further introduced you to the others. Ironhide, Chromia, Jazz and Prowl. The medic you had met when you first came to this team.

His servo not once leaving your shoulder.

Your spark had sung.

Your mind afraid.

When you had been given your first mission from them you had been injured. Badly.

Not because you had done a bad job. But for the fact you cared a little to much about others.

Bumblebee had been your scout. You were the back up and heavy hitter. He helped you gather any Intel the cons had.

And the cons had found you two as you made your way back to the safe house.

You had gone from standing to coughing energon in a matter of moments. Yellow armour swallowing your vision as you covered him from gun fire. A sniper had made to end him quickly. So what was instantly fatal for him was a major side wound for you.

Upon your arrival to base you were ragged and worn. Spark dancing between the well and your frame. Energon covered every inch of you. Yours and theirs.

Optimus and Ironhide had helped you to the med bay. Large Mecha carrying your slightly smaller frame.

You would have laughed at Ratchets reaction of you didn't hurt so badly. Or if you could talk without energon spilling from your lips.

How did you make it to base?

When you came to Ratchet was hovering over you. Servos gentle as he checked over welds. When he noticed you had woken you got the loudest lecture you think you had ever gotten. Rivaling that of your Dani's when you had climbed the old energon fountain in your small town.

"I'm. I'm sorry. But is Bumblebee ok? They were aiming for him." Your voice was hoarse when you spoke. Every inch of your body yelling as you began to set up. Intending to look for him in the med bay to make sure he was alright.

You were surprised by the look on Ratchets face. One of shock and, was that. Sadness? No. Not quite.

"Sorry. Your sorry." His servo came to his chevron then down his face. "You're sorry when you saved his life. You! Bumblebee would have been dead and he came out with nothing more than a scratch because you took every blow ment for him! The gunshot to the grounding mechs that." He paused. "Primus we were wrong about you."

Well color you confused. "What do you mean. You were wrong about me?" It was then you noticed the lingering presence of Elita and Optimus. How long had they been there for? Surly it wasn't for you. Ratchet didn't speak. You layed your servo on the part of his arm you could reach. Partially sat up on the berth. "Ratchet what does that mean?" He vented heavily then looked to Prime. Then Elita.

"A lot of bots here thought those black marks ment you were dangerous. Closed to changing sides. Literal black marks on your records. Yet. Primus you have been nothing but selfless and self sacrificing since coming here." He shook his helm. Then left. "Prime wanted to talk to you." He pointed at the two of them. "And they need rest. So no talking for long."

And speak you did. From your burning face from Optimus's and Elita's praises. Proud of you for what you have done. To asking you why. Why you chose to keep under wraps about those you saved. About what you did.

Sacrifice yourself so that others may live. To take only the missions that others deem certain death. That they wouldn't take on a good day just so you could go rescue people you didn't even know and would never know beyond that point.

"There is no one who truly cares about me. So I figured I'd help those who had bots that cared. Help those who'd bots would notice have gone missing. I'm." You pause. Pain flaring. You stare at the ceiling. "I'm not much of anyone. Honestly. Your group would have mourned the loss of Bumblebee. His death would have meant something. I'm not that important here. Not that impactful. I'm just. I'm me."

Small servos lay over your own drawing your attention away from the oh so captivating ceilings.

Elita had looked more crestfallen than you had seen her in your time here. Full lips turned downwards. Optics soften and fill with sadness. A weight settles on her shoulders and you find yourself trying to ease it away.

You look to her conjux and find Optimus in a similar position. Servos between his knees and optics trained on you. His mask retracted. His servo on your knee.

"Is that how you truly feel, y/n. That you do not belong amongst my team." You vent heavily.

"It's not that I don't feel I belong. It's more of. I'm easily replaceable. No one would remember me long if I were gone. It's happened before. It's just a matter of time before it happens here." The silence after that confession grew and swelled. Nothing more is heard than the beeping of medical machinery and the sudden stuttering vent of Elita.

Optimus's grip on your knee grew more firm.

"I am sorry." He rumbles out.

"Don't be. Please." He shakes his helm. Then covers the servos Elita hand been holding with his own.

"It seems we have made a mistake."He looked to Elita optics flickering between you and her as they spoke between thier bond. A soft smile and then.

A kiss to your servo. To hers. Then yours once again.

His optics flick up to you. Lips still pressed to the palm of your servo. Elita's own slowly retracting.

She gains your attention when that servo presses to your cheek. So small against you.

Your spark soars higher than it ever has. Anxiety turning your tanks.

The spark monitor goes wild until Prime quickly unplugs it.

Color darkens your face plate.

"We were not clear in our attentions then." Optimus rumbles out.

"We've wanted you in our relationship for a while now, Y/n. Don't think we haven't noticed how kind you are. How you willingly sacrifice and give to help others." Elita presses a soft kiss to your shoulder plating. The only thing she can reach while sitting.

"You have a kind spark. A kind that is hard pressed to find in the middle of war. And you hide it. I wish to bring it out more." Optimus finishes for her.

Your mind goes wild.

Optimus and Elita.

The leaders of the Autobots.

One of the kindest people you know. The bots who ask for so little. Give so much. Who love so wholly.

Want you.

Replaceable.

Ordinary.

You.

Your vents stutter. Your servo presses to your lips. Hiding the bottom part of your faceplate your battle mask normally would.

They want you.

"I." It comes out breathless.

"Me. You want me?" Optimus Chuckles.

"I believe that is what we said. Is it not, my Elita?" She laughs. High and singsong.

"I think it was My Spark." She brushes her knuckles along your jaw. Slowly pulling your servo down. "And what is your answer? Will you have us?"

"We will not treat you any different if you choose not to. And there is no pressure to answer now. We will wait. And you are always free to leave the relationship if you wish. We will not force you to something you do not want."

You paused. Vented.

How many times had you been hurt? How much more could your spark take? If you lost them. If you lost yourself.

Your servo shook. Optimus grabbed it. Steadying it in his own.

"If I am to have you. What then?" Your voice was quiet. Almost scared to even ask.

"Then we will cherish you as we do each other. We hope to bring out the best in you and steady you at your worst." Optimus began.

"And we hope you will do the same for us. All we ask of you is your presence. Your love. And your time here in this lifecycle." Elita finished for him.

You looked to the both of them. To your servo in Primes. To Elita's on your shoulder. And you smile. Chest warming.

Hope blooms.

"Then I will give you every nano click. I will give you all of me. And I will cherish you as well."

Lips on yours.

Once.

Twice.

A gift placed onto your lap.

A Praxian crystal rose.

The first courtship gift of many.

[nerdythebard]

#20: Edelgard von Hresvelg [Fire Emblem: Three Houses]

I'm going to be completely honest, this is new territory for me. I don't believe I know nearly enough to properly represent Edelgard von Hresvelg, leader of the Black Eagles, in D&D... but hey, where's the fun without a little challenge?

Next Time: Little Boy Blue, come brandish your lance.

In-before Fire Emblem fans coming after my butt, let's see what we need to have to represent Eddie:

Command & Conquer: High Charisma, leadership skills and some cronies to command is what Edelgard is all about.

Heavy Weapons Girl: With her penchant for axes and heavy armour, Edelgard is definitely a heavy hitter and a strong presence on the battlefield.

Fire Emblem: We'll make sure she has her Crest and some minor magical capabilities. We'll try to fit Fire, Heal, Nosferatu, Bolganone, and all of that jazz in.

---

Edelgard is a human, yes. Variant? Of course. We get a +1 to two abilities of our choice (Charisma and Constitution), we know how to speak Common and one language of our choice, we gain proficiency in one skill of our choice (Deception) and we get to pick a feat. Since this Avatar of Evil has two Crests, we have to include at least one, right? For that, we shall reach into the Eberron book and look at Dragonmarks. Unfortunately, none of the marks available for humans fits Edelgard, so we have to customize it with Aberrant Dragonmark. Because of that, we get a +1 Constitution, and we learn some magic; specifically, we learn one cantrip from the Sorcerer's spell list (Fire Bolt) and one 1st-level spell from the same list (Charm Person). Additionally, when we cast the 1st-level spell, we roll 1 Hit Dice. On an even number, we gain Temporary Hit Points equal to the number rolled. If it's an odd number, a random creature within 30 feet of us takes force damage equal to that number.

Edelgard comes from nobility, and that's what we're going with. As a Noble, we gain proficiency in History and Persuasion, proficiency with one type of gaming set, we learn one language of our choice and we gain the Position of Privilege feature. Much like Military Rank and Shelter of the Faithful, we can use our connections to secure some benefits for ourselves and/or our party members. Common folk may do their best to aid us, and we may even secure an audience with somebody important. (Here's a note: if you want your Edelgard to work against the party, work with your DM and give her the Faceless background, to establish the Flame Emperor persona).

ABILITY SCORES

We'll start with Strength, we need it for heavy armour and for doing the consistent amount of damage while axing questions. Constitution is next, we're truly a champion of soaking-in damage. Charisma will follow, we have the best charm in the entire game and we know how to use it.

Dexterity will be next, we're not a stealth-based warrior, but Edel's dexterity growth rate is good enough. Intelligence is next, we are a student. Finally, we'll dump Wisdom, Edelgard is as short-tempered as it gets.

CLASS

I don't think there will be any surprises here. Edelgard's a heavy hitter, disregards stealth and magic... she's a Fighter start-to-finish.

Fighters start with d10 Hit Dice and [10 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points. We get proficiency in light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and martial weapons. For Eddie, we'll give her a full plate and a battleaxe with a shield. Our saving throws are Strength and Constitution, and we get to pick two class skills (Athletics and Intimidation).

Level 1: We start by picking our Fighting Style. Like I said before, Edelgard personifies the 'immovable object' style, so picking the Defense style will work in our favour. It gives us a +1 to our AC when we're armoured. We also get Second Wind, which lets us recover [1d10 + our Fighter level] Hit Points once per short or long rest.

Level 2: This level gives us Action Surge. Once per short or long rest, we can take an additional Action on our turn, to get that one final push against our enemies.

Level 3: At this level, we pick our subclass, our Martial Archetype. For Edelgard, we gotta go with Battle Master. We get proficiency with one type of artisan's tools of our choice, and we gain access to Superiority Dice with Combat Superiority. We start with four SD that are d8, which are used to fuel our Manoeuvrers. All SD are recovered after we finish a short or long rest.

We also get to pick three Manoeuvrers from the start. If any of them requires a saving throw, the DC is [8 + proficiency bonus + Strength or Dexterity modifier (our choice)]:

Commander's Strike: If we Attack as our action, we can forgo one attack to use a bonus action and order one of our followers/party members to do so. We expend one SD, and the creature we order to attack can use their reaction to make a weapon attack, with the SD as their damage roll.

Riposte: When a creature misses us with an attack, we can spend one SD to make a weapon attack against it. If we hit it, we add the SD to the weapon's damage roll.

Pushing Attack: When we hit a creature with a weapon attack, we can spend one SD to push it back. We add the SD to the damage roll, and if the creature is Large or smaller, it must make a Strength saving throw or be pushed up to 15 feet from us.

Level 4: Time for our first Ability Score Improvement. To make the best use of our equipment, we're gonna get the Heavy Armour Master feat. This increases our Strength by 1, and while wearing heavy armour all non-magical bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage done to us is reduced by 3.

Level 5: We get Extra Attack. We can now attack twice instead of one time during a single Attack action.

Level 6: Another ASI? Yeah, Fighters tend to get a lot of those. Our AC's pretty good, so let's just raise our Constitution by two points.

Level 7: We get our first subclass upgrade. We gain one more Superiority Die (for a total of five), and we get to learn two more Maneuvers of our choice:

Commanding Presence is an out-of-combat skill that lets us add the SD roll whenever we make a Persuasion, a Performance, or an Intimidation check.

Tactical Assessment works the same way as Commanding Presence, but this time the SD bonus is added to whenever we make a History, an Investigation, or an Insight check.

We also get the Know Your Enemy feature. If we spend 1 minute observing or interacting with a target outside of combat, we can learn some information about it. The DM reveals if the target is our superior, inferior, or equal in regards to two options from the following:

Strength score

Dexterity score

Constitution score

Armour Class

Current Hit Points

Total class level (if any)

Fighter class level (if any)

Level 8: Another ASI! Let's cap our Constitution to 20 for even more damage-soaking ability.

Level 9: We get the Indomitable feat. Once per long rest, we can re-roll a failed saving throw. We must, however, use the new roll even if it fails us again.

Level 10: Halfway through the build and we get more subclass features (and also, we break the 100 Hit Points milestone). First, our Superiority Dice change from d8 to d10. Second, we get to pick two more Manoeuvrers:

Rally: On our turn, we can use a bonus action to spend one SD to bolster the resolve of one of our companions. We choose a creature that can see and hear us. They gain Temporary Hit Points equal to [Superiority Die roll + our Charisma modifier].

Brace works like a reversed attack of opportunity. Whenever a creature moves within 5 feet of us, we can spend one SD and make a weapon attack against it. If we hit it, we add the SD result to the damage roll.

At this level, we have a 10% chance of receiving an Epic Boon thanks to our Dragonmark. If your DM agrees, roll a 1d100. On a success, get the Boon of Invincibility - once per short rest you can reduce the damage of one attack made at you to 0.

Level 11: Our Extra Attack feature gets an upgrade. We can now attack three times during one Attack action.

Level 12: We get another ASI. Let's boost our Charisma by 2, since (like I said before) our charm is the best in the game.

Level 13: Our Indomitable feat gets an upgrade. We can now use it twice between long rests.

Level 14: ASI time. Let's raise our Wisdom by 2, to get rid of the negative modifier.

Level 15: More subclass upgrades. We get another Superiority Die (for a total of six), and we can choose the last two Manoeuvrers for our repertoire:

Evasive Footwork protects us from attacks of opportunity without a need to Disengage. If we move, we can spend one SD to add the number to our AC until we stop moving (on the luckiest roll, we get +10 AC for a total of 31!).

Trip Attack lets us spend one SD to attempt to knock the enemy down. We add the SD result to our damage roll, and if the target is Large or smaller, it must make a Strength saving throw. On a failed save, the target is knocked prone.

Level 16: One more ASI for the road! Let's get that Charisma one more boost!

Level 17: More feature upgrades! We can now use Action Surge twice before a rest, but on the same turn, and we can use Indomitable three times between long rests.

Level 18: For our final subclass upgrade, our Superiority Dice change from d10 to d12.

Level 19: For our final ASI, we're gonna get a +2 bonus to Strength to prepare us before the ultimate boss fight.

Level 20: Our capstone is Fighter 20, and the class's ultimate ability is... upgrade to Extra Attack. We can now attack four times whenever we choose to Attack. Um...

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So that's my take on Edelgard from Fire Emblem: Three Heroes. Let's see what we have:

First of all, we're immovable object incarnate. Heavy armour, shield, and 20 Constitution mean if we take damage, we're doing something wrong. Our Manoeuvrers only further embody our fighting style, and with high Charisma, we can also count on others to help us in a pinch.

Our AC is 21 (or 33 if we score the maximum on Evasive Footwork), we have +1 to our Initiative, and a whopping 212 Hit Points on average.

Unfortunately, we're a pretty straightforward player archetype: hit hard, soak-in damage, rinse, repeat. Our Intelligence and Wisdom scores aren't great, so we might be vulnerable to mental attack (although, given Eddie's past, it's a good callback) and we have very minor spellcasting abilities. Making her a Paladin would be more balanced, but that would result in a little too much magic.

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So here it is. I shall now wait for the Fire Emblem fandom to tell me how badly I botched their favourite character, but you guys feel free to check out my other builds, suggest a character you'd like to play in D&D, or just spread the word. I'll see you soon, as I can hear the mob approaching!

- Nerdy out!