#hello again I am making myself cry today

[reliablejoukido]

Jou Kido is in his second year of resident training and hasn’t been sleeping in weeks. Months, maybe? Years? They blended together depressingly. He wonders how everyone else in his program can handle it… and all he wants to do is… anything but this. He’s so, so tired.

One day a young woman, maybe 17 or 18, is rushed into the hospital after a car accident. Jou is shadowing the ER doc who is in charge of taking care of her. Before he enters the woman’s room, the ER doc rushes out and yells:

“Figure this thing out, Kido!”

Jou enters the room. The ER doc and some other staff are taking care of the woman. The doctor points to a chair in the corner of the room. And there Jou sees a Digimon, bloodied, partially wrapped in sheets. He’s never seen this Digimon before— it looks like a snow-white weasel with a ring around its neck similar to Tailmon’s

Jou doesn’t even pause to think. He stops the Digimon’s bleeding after a while, and he notices blue data particles inside the wound. He doesn’t know if this means the Digimon is dying or healing, but he hopes it’s the latter.

The woman survives, and so does the Digimon. Jou checks on them when the woman is awake. He immediately goes to change the Digimon’s bandages and notices the particles are gone from the wound— that it’s completely healed itself.

“Are you Kudamon’s doctor?” The woman asks. “I didn’t know there were Digimon doctors in this hospital, but I’m SO glad you were here!”

“Oh, I’m not…”

The woman stared at him tearfully, gratefully.

He wanted to say: “there’s no such thing as a Digimon doctor” but the words died on his tongue. All Jou could think about since that injured Digimon came in was what those data particles were and how he could study them. Why had they appeared only after he tended to the Digimon’s wound, and not before?

He leaves the hospital that night thinking hard on how difficult it must be for chosen children to understand their Digimon’s physiology. To know when their Digimon partners are sick or injured. Nobody on Earth, or at least Japan, cared about Digimon medicine.

But Jou could.

He spends his one free day off that week writing a proposal to his residency program, to let him do something that probably sounded crazy to them. But it was worth a shot, wasn’t it?

Jou wakes up the next morning to a Digi-egg sitting on his nightstand, and it’s warm to the touch

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

hey maggots PLEASE CALM DOWN ONE MOMENT PRESS CONFERENCE.

Okay. Have we stopped screaming? Okay, nice. *taps mic* Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your--I mean, hi, Good Omens fandom and maggots. I was going to make a new intro post eventually, but after you all flattened my notes with eldritch screeching I think a press conference is more fitting. Especially considering the phrasing of these beauties:

Maggots I love you but look me in the eyes and tell me you're not journalists reporting straight to the Times, with full honesty. You cannot. The how do you feel about this is only missing several microphones with news outlet names all in my face and that's wonderful. Entirely valid. Press conference time it is.

First, for those of you who do not need a Q and A, a quick note: Um hello maggots, yes I am still grieving, cheers to the people who queued sad Good Omens posts for the exact time I finished watching. That is dedication, truly, to torturing your mascot. A most sincere fuck you to all of those kind folks.

Next, Neil, thank you for showcasing my madness. I barely remember making that updated post. It was 2 am and I tried to convince myself it was a bad idea. So of course I did it anyway and now I am staring in horror at how unhinged I have revealed myself to be. You picked the most perfectly awful time to delve into the fray. I raise my glass to you.

Alright. For everyone else who is utterly confused and/or has just entered this madness, below is the press conference you have instigated, my loves.

You: ASMI WAKE UP NEIL REBLOGGED YOU. Me: I'M AWAKE I PROMISE THANK YOU ALL THE TWENTY ODD PEOPLE WHO SHOUTED FOR ME TO WAKE UP, YES I WAS NAPPING. BUT I AM AWAKE. IT IS DIFFICULT NOT TO BE. You: HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING LESS THAN A MONTH IN THE FANDOM AND-- Me: I was kidnapped, so with the blindfold and all the ropes, I'll be honest, I lost track of time. It could have been less than a month. *stares into distance* It could have been eighty years since Jan 4th 2024. You: YOU'RE AN ADOPTIVE MAGGOT. Me: Now hang on one second y'all you're stealing my term. I coined maggots to describe all the people, in the Good Omens fandom or otherwise, who kidnapped me or followed me or watched me descend into madness. Why? Because I was made the Mascot of the fandom, and Maggot sounded like Mascot. Kind of. I didn't know at that time that there was a bloody maggot scene in Good Omens. I also didn't know that apparently in the Bible, Bildad the Shuite calls mortals 'maggots'. But either way. I'm the adopted mascot. And the adopted child of divorce. You: If people who follow you or watch your descent are maggots, does that make Neil a maggot? Me: Uh okay I've got this question several times. @neil-gaiman, Neil I'm sorry, I'm going to pass this question to you. You are free to reply or not as you choose. *hands one of the mics over* You: ARE YOU OKAY, ASMI? Me: THANK YOU FOR CHECKING IN. *clutches Crowley even closer* NO I AM BLOODY NOT. I'M ON DAY FOUR OF GRIEVING AFTER THE SECOND SEASON. ANY MENTION OF POTTED PLANTS MAKES ME EMOTIONAL. THE GOOD OMENS BOOK IS ARRIVING TODAY IN THE MAIL, THANKS JEFF BEZOS FOR AMAZON. OH WAIT AMAZON IS THE STREAMER FOR GOOD OMENS. THANKS BEZOS AGAIN. IF I HEAR THE WORDS RITZ, EDINBURGH, PLANT, RED, BLACK, DEMON, HELL, STARS, CONSTELLATIONS, ESPRESSO, I WILL START TO UGLY CRY. *SHOVES MICS ASIDE, RUNS THROUGH THE CROWD TO GO SOB IN A CORNER ABOUT CROWLEY IN EDINBURGH NEXT TO ELSPETH AND WEE MORAG UNTIL THE GOOD OMENS BOOK ARRIVES AND I CRY OVER MY BABY ANTICHRIST AS WELL*

Cheers everyone conference over because your poor Good Omens Mascot is currently incapacitated with grief goodbye I'm sure you understand--

[devilishchaos]

BABYYY drop the daddy Ruben fic, don't be shy <3

Calls | Dad!Rúben Dias imagine

Rating / genre: pure fluff

Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias

Summary: Rúben goes on a business trip. Me and our son George are sad he is away, so we face time him.

Warnings: use of pet names "babe", "baby"

Word Count: 1 347 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

While begging my husband to go on this 3 day business trip, I thought to myself "What can happen in the span of 3 days, right?"  Well, a lot. 

I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant with twins and have a year and a half year old baby-toddler that needs my attention 24/7. Not that I am complaining but the pregnancy alone is being hard on me and my beautiful son throwing constant tantrums about missing his dad doesn't help my situation. Now, I was usually the preferred parent, but George had the tendency to not want to eat and nap while Rúben was away.

Today was going to be a long and hard day for me, I just knew it. I woke up from my nap at 7:00 am, got ready and headed to wake George up because I had an appointment with my OBGYN in an hour and had no one to look after him while I was gone, so I had to take him with me. 

It was a battle but I somehow managed to get him ready for the day, made it to my appointment safely and on time and both of us were back in the coziness of our household before we knew it. 

The moment we stepped through the door - the nausea hit me. And my head started spinning. I somehow made it to the bedroom and laid down on the bed and tried to take deep breaths in hopes for it to go away faster. I closed your eyes for a second and out of nowhere a loud cry pierced the silence. 

With eyes wide open, all my senses on alert, I sat up in the bed and looked at the door to see George standing there, tears falling from his eyes and his tiny hands holding his favorite stuffed animal close to his chest. 

"What happened baby? Are you okay?" I asked, holding out my hands in his direction. 

"Dada.." he managed to say in between wheezing. 

I gave him a sad knowing look. Ever since he was born he was a mama's boy but ever since I got pregnant again he looked up to Rúben more and more, and wanted to do everything that he was doing whether it was directed towards me or other people. And Rúben was the happiest person on earth, soaking in every moment because he knew that it could be taken away from him just as fast as it came. 

"You miss daddy, huh bud?" I softly asked as I helped him get up on the bed to join me. 

He nodded, the movement making his tiny curls shake a little. 

"How about we call him? Would that make you feel better?" 

"Yeah.." George mumbled, while wiping his eyes.

I was already reaching for my phone before I got an answer from him. Since Rúben is in New York and we are in Manchester there is a 5 hour time difference, but it was now way after noon in Manchester and knowing Rúben, he had been awake for some time, so that's why I suggested calling him. Okay and maybe because I miss him too and want to talk to him, but that's another topic. 

I dialed his contact and gave George the phone. After two rings I saw Rúben's gorgeous face and he saw a head full of curls and two big dark eyes watching closely the screen, since George held the phone so close to him. 

"Hey, gorg-" your husband started "-oh, hello big man. What are you doing with mama's phone?" you saw him smiling widly. 

"Dada, miss you." George said and started crying again. 

"Oh, no. Don't cry buddy. I miss you so much too." 

"Home." 

"I'm coming home tomorrow, baby and I'm not going anywhere after that, okay?" Rúben asked as a sad smile made its way on his face. 

"Home now?" George asked as he tilted his head slightly the exact same way Rúben does and it made your heart throb. 

"I wish buddy, but I have one more thing to do and then I promise I'm gonna catch the first flight back home and I'm coming straight to you. But I need you to do something for me, okay. You have to eat lunch and dinner, and you have to go to sleep when mommy says. Can you do that for me? That way I'm going to come home faster. Do we have a deal, G?" Rúben asked, slightly raising his eyebrows. 

"A deal.." his son responded while rubbing his eye "Now play." 

"Okay, you can go and play now. Loves you." your husband said as he leaned into the camera and kissed it, your guys's little tradition that now George did too. 

"Loves you." George said cutely and kissed your front camera. He gave you the phone and ran out of your bedroom and into his playroom. 

I took the phone and positioned it against my big water bottle in front of me as I greeted my hansome husband "Hi, meu amor." 

"Hey, mama. How are you holding up? Big man giving you a hard time?" Rúben asked you giving you sad eyes. 

"He just misses you." I exhaled "Nothing changed after the call yesterday, we're going to see what happens today. I miss you too, tho. We miss you too." I simply explained rubbing my round belly.  

"I'm sorry babe. I miss all of you. Can't wait to be back home. I'm never leaving again." he shook his head as to make it more believable.

"Rúben, we talked about this. What you're doing right now is for your career and for us. So that you can take more time off while the twins come, just as you did when we welcomed George. Don't feel guilty, you're not doing anything wrong, babe. We'll get through this. We have to. In fact it's almost over." I smiled at him trying to lighten the mood. 

"This is why I made you my wife. Eu te amo muito." Rúben said looking lovingly at the screen in front of him. 

"I love you more." 

"Period." he said while snapping his fingers, which made both of you to start giggling.

"Stop. I'm gonna pee my pants!" I said in between laughing. 

"Okay, okay. So how did the appointment go? Everything alright?" Rúben's face went completely serious in a spare of seconds. 

"Yes. Babies are doing just fine." I said and took a breathing break "I however, am struggling. Babe, I'm 27 weeks into this pregnancy and do you know what my doctor told me? That I'm measuring full term compared to a singleton pregnancy. That's very overwhelming considering that I hopefully have 8 or 9, 10 weeks left in the absolute ideal case scenario. And technically I am still 6 months pregnant. At the very end of my 6th month. Can you believe this?" I looked at him with a questioning face. 

Rúben's eyes went wide "Wow." 

"Wow indeed. I mean..that's what I get for having children with a freaking giant, I guess." 

"Hey. You looooove this giant. And the babies that you both made." Rúben winked at me, eyes going soft and a smile appearing on his lips "Everything will be okay. Just try not to overwork yourself. And no, I'm not saying don't do nothing and just lay in bed all day. But you are very pregnant and are taking care of a fussy baby-toddler. Please, just take it easy while I'm away. When I come back it will be different." 

"I'm gonna try my best. Now I have to go to make a snack because I'm starving and you have work to do. So talk to you later. You also take it easy, okay." I lovingly smiled at him, damn I can't wait for it to be tomorrow already. 

"Alright, talk to you later. Loves you." 

"Loves you." both of us said at the same time, smiling at each other, leaning in and kissing the front cameras on our phones, sharing a virtual kiss and ending the call.

[folkloresthings]

i have just read through all your stuff while on a road trip and i will be reading it again to make sure i appreciate it properly!

can we get a lance stroll x barbie actress! reader where they’ve been in a relationship since like…16 but the world only found out when lance went to the barbie premier 🙏🙏 ly tyvm

writers note: i’m 🥲 this is such a sweet little message! thank you sweetheart!! i’m always down for writing baby boy lance stroll so ofc &lt;3

LIFE IN PLASTIC / LS18.

in which he’s succeeding massively in the racing world, and she’s one of the biggest actresses of this year. but no one knows, they’re desperately in love with each other.

( lance stroll x actress!au )

✩⡱ warnings: none

INSTAGRAM.

liked by alexandrashipp, lance_stroll, and 689,121 more

yourusername this barbie is a mermaid!!! 💖🌊🧜‍♀️ barbie is out july 21, this movie is so close to my heart. i hope you enjoy.

view all 550,349 comments

nicolacouglan my favourite mermaid 💓

⤷ yourusername my favourite diplomat 💕

user SHE’S A BARBIE GIRL

ncutigatwa she IS the moment

NOTIFICATION! lance_stroll shared this to their story!

INSTAGRAM.

liked by astonmartinf1, maxverstappen, and 19,437 others

lance_stroll hello miami!! great qualifying race today, bring it on tomorrow! 💓🌸💕

view all 14,937 comments

estebanocon can’t wait for tomorrow!! let’s race!

astonmartinf1 race engineers request you “stop singing barbie girl every time you overtake” thanks 👍

⤷ lance_stroll no can do, sorry

yourusername we should get you on the soundtrack 💘💘💘

⤷ lance_stroll omw to the studio now

⤷ user ariana what are you doing here

yourusername added to their story!

INSTAGRAM.

liked by chloestroll, fernandoalo_official, and 238,620 others

lance_stroll my sister got married! lots of love to chloe and scotty, such a fun day & night ❤️

view all 18,682 comments

chloestroll ❤️❤️❤️

user am i going mad or is that the dress from y/n’s story?

⤷ user i saw she was there too!! i didn’t know they knew each other

⤷ user they’re both from montreal!

yourusername the best night 🥺

user i am looking: suspiciously

INSTAGRAM.

liked by lance_stroll, barbiemovie, and 989,327 others

yourusername world premiere baby!!! this barbie loved the pink carpet (this ken got tired very quickly) 💗💖🌸💕🌷💞💓💘

view all 17,444 comments

user LANCE????

⤷ user the crossover we didn’t know we needed

jvn STUNNING 🤩

lance_stroll 🧎🧎🧎

⤷ charles_leclerc simp

INSTAGRAM.

liked by yourusername, yukitsunoda0511, and 740,917 others

tagged: yourusername

lance_stroll my barbie girl 😍 i’ve been head over heels in love with you since high school and watching you on the big screen, doing what you’re made for, only makes me love you even more. i’m so proud of you, darling ❤️

view all 733,518 comments

user talk about HARD LAUNCH

yourusername and he’s just ken 🫶

⤷ fernandoalo_official i like her more than you lancestroll

yourusername jk i love you more than this earth. thank you for being my rock and shoulder to cry on. i truly don’t deserve you 🫶

comment liked by lance_stroll, and 83,482 others

user they’ve been dating since high school and we’re only finding out now😭😭😭

landonorris how did you manage that, man

⤷ lance_stroll i’ve been asking myself the same question for 8 years

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: April 14, 2024 🎀

Hello lovelies! Life is looking better again, but omg was Wednesday thru Saturday morning rough for me. Even last night I was crying my eyes out, but things got better today so I am happy. I want to make a small announcement about the future of my blog: I am changing the theme!! I will still be keeping the pinterest-image, pink, girly aesthetic for my more general posts (lists, routines, etc) but for my daily check ins, I will be using photos I take myself (anonymous surroundings, notes, food/drinks, etc) and colors and emojis that compliment the photos! I have been wanting to change the vibe a bit lately to make it more me, more personal, and I think now is the time to do so! I'm excited to start taking my own photos now, that'll be so fun!!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

washed my sheets, towels, blankets, and comforter

washed and put away all laundry

cleaned the bathroom

packed shoes to ship from my depop shop

cooked chicken fettuccine alfredo from scratch (I made the sauce myself too! it was heavy on the parm and some pieces of chicken were salty, but it was so yummy and rich in flavor!)

planned out some of my week

packed my gym bag for tomorrow (I'm gonna start working out again, I'm nervous)

did my guided journal and morning journal

read 3 chapters of The Untethered Soul (interesting so far, going to keep reading to see how I enjoy it)

wrote out my brain dump for the week

reflected on the week + updated with my accountability buddies

bought groceries (time to make smoothies for breaky this week) and toiletries

🩷 Good Things That Happened:

my pasta was super yummy

had a long phone call with my dad (it was a good talk!)

finally read a physical book and not on my ipad

had such a nice, long shower early this morning

confidently planned goals for the week

my psyc assignment got extended til Wednesday for the whole class

found a recipe for avocado protein smoothie (excited to try it)

🩷 Stuff For Tomorrow

make a breakfast smoothie

gym cardio workout

need to ship shoes I sold

need to complete my homework

studying Spanish (have an italki lesson on April 22nd!!)

read some more

studying chemistry in preparation for my finals

No "what needs to go better" for me today, because today was a really good day. I'm feeling better and life itself is working out the way I knew it would. I just gotta trust in the universe more.

til next time, lovelies 🩷

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

beef with wasps

f!singer x andrei svechnikov

warnings: mentions of anaphylactic shock/severe allergic reactions, swearing, light joking of near death (to be clear: nobody dies in this), some fluff

liked by gracieabrams, rolemodel and 836,217 others

ynofficial: on behalf of y/n - she is conscious, well and in great hands. she told me to spare the details on what happened, but does want you guys to know that after suffering a wasp sting earlier this afternoon, she was rushed to the ER after going into anaphylactic shock. she gave us all quite a scare and will be in overnight for observations, but doctors are positive she'll make a full recovery

S x

view all comments

gracieabrams: thinking of you and wishing you the best recovery! <3

fan1: who tf is s?

fan2: that must have been terrifying, so glad she's ok now

fan3: sending love

reneerapp: ❤️❤️

comments for this post have been restricted

liked by olivia_dejonge, haleyluhoo and 921,375 others

ynofficial: they gave me so much fucking adrenalin i have a rocket up my arse rn and he's just gone to the vending machine bc im so hungry so im taking this opportunity to tell you guys that i almost died today but im ok and the reason theres no selfie is bc i look like a pickled dick rn and as charles boyle once said life is a party and im the pinata xxxxx and he did get me flowers without me even asking so im vv in love rn

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fan4: sorry you almost died?????

fan5: babe what did you think anaphylactic shock was

fan6: does the adrenalin also increase the meme usage

fan7: so she almost dies AND reveals she might be in a relationship??? my heart is breaking twice tonight

fan8: ok but the flowers???? she's got a real one there

fan9: i mean i'd like to think if you almost died your partner would get you flowers...

fan10: lmao you'd think so wouldn't you

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, madisonbaileybabe and 926,174 others

ynofficial: back home! i'm now on house arrest because "there aren't any wasps inside" (we have beef with their butts now). needless to say, it was scary for everyone, but as you can see, miley (the cat) is the only one unbothered. i'm currently typing this from under a human giant and i'm loving every second.

i'd also like to take the opportunity to apologise for my loopy instagram posting and let everyone who purchased tickets for the phoenix show know that they will be refunded. again, i'm incredibly sorry for any inconvenience!

view all comments

fan11: and you expect me to believe that human giant in the photo is NOT svech???

fan12: he also likes cats

fan13: and in her other post, it was signed off with 's'

fan14: girl don't apologise

fan15: is he ok?

ynofficial: bit teary but we're recovering!

fan16: NO SVECH DON'T CRY EVERYTHING IS OKAY

andrei_svechnikov37: ynofficial you almost died i'm not letting you go that easily

fan17: SVECH HELLO

liked by ynofficial, devonleecarlson and 57,931 others

andrei_svechnikov37: the family emergency has made a full recovery! (thank fuck) i also wanted to come on here and say that i'm unbelievably proud of this girl, and hilariously in love with her

view all comments

fan18: crying happy tears this is adorable

fan19: SVECH STOP RUINING MY STANDARDS

fan20: i love how she's wearing red in the last two pictures

ynofficial: shh he hasn't caught on yet

fan21: i've only had y/n and andrei for a day (officially), but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself

fan22: am i the only one who wants to know how long they've been dating?

fan23: no!! i do too

ynofficial: you're making me blush

liked by andrei_svechnikov37

fan24: y/n is so precious and idk who andrei is but i love him just for this caption

fan25: svech is definitely a cuddler

liked by ynofficial

liked by andrei_svechnikov37, sydney_sweeney and 1,028,285 others

ynofficial: i can't find the right words to express how happy and grateful i am to have you in my life, so i'm just going to settle with i love you so fucking much that sometimes i can't breathe because of it, okay?

view all comments

fan26: is andrei the inspiration behind out of my misery?

ynofficial: yes

fan27: you guys make me sick in a good way

fan28: wow you've got taste y/n

andrei_svechnikov37: saying you can't breathe is a bit too soon

ynofficial: LMAO I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

andrei_svechnikov37: i love the love though

fan29: y/n i can't-

fan30: how long have you guys been together?

ynofficial: one and a half years!

fan31: y/n not being overly mushy on instagram and casually announcing she's dating an nhl player is my favourite part of this year so far

[plentyoffandoms]

Orange (Part 2)

wearer is willing to kiss

Gwi-nam x f/Reader

Main Masterlist ♡ All Of Us Are Dead Masterlist ♡ Yoon Gwi-Nam Masterlist ♡ Jelly Bracelets Masterlist

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Am I late to this fandom? Oh hell, yes, but the show was so good.

Warnings: Some swearing. Nothing sexual yet

WC:1126

Gifs & photos do not belong to me. 1st & 3rd @dramastream 2nd gif @soledadytorturainfinita

YN'S POV

The moment I stepped into the classroom, I muttered some lame excuse to the teacher about why I was late,

Jang-Mi looked at me, with her eyebrow raised. I just shrugged my shoulders at her, now trying to pay attention to the first twenty minutes of class that I missed.

But what happened outside kept me distracted. Gwi-nam pretty much demanding I wear the bracelets.

I could feel them under my jumper, burning a hole in my skin. When the teacher had her back to me, I quickly took them off.

I placed them in my pocket, still wanting them close by. 'You should throw them away.' I thought to myself, but I knew deep down inside I didn't want to. I wanted, no needed to see how far this would go with him.

Would he get bored after snapping a few? Most likely. One thing I noticed with Gwi-nam was that he never finished anything. He would hyper-fixate on one thing and then quickly get bored of it.

Yes, I will see how far this goes.

~

"Why were you so late this morning?" Jang-Mi asked me as we walked towards our next lessons. We didn't have this one together.

"I slept through my alarm & figured if I was already late, there was no need to rush." I wanted to tell her what happened with Gwi-nam, but she would just tell Sun-Hee and I was in no mood to deal with either of their questions today.

"I also saw that you took off your bracelets today." She pointed out as stopped at my classroom first.

"I thought that Ms. Park saw them, so I didn't want any more demerit points taken off just in case she wanted to see my arm." That seemed to satisfy Jang-Mi for now.

I took my seat in the second row near the back of the class and got my notebook out, already taking the notes that were on the board.

I ignored the commotion that was around me. My classmates saying goodbye to their friends, acting like they will never see them again. One girl was crying in the corner with her friends around her.

This isn't the first time I have seen that happen in this school. For some reason, the guys seem to have a hold over the females here. I get that many of them are cute, but to cry in public over one? No, thank you.

I was so lost in writing out what was on the board that I didn't even see who sat behind me, but the moment I heard my name, I quickly turned in my chair to look into the eyes of Gwi-nam.

He usually sat on the opposite side of the room. "I told you to wear the bracelets."

"Now who has poor manners?" My eyes went wide when I heard myself say that.

A smirk came over his face as his own eyes scanned my face. I noticed that as his gaze went further down, his eyes stayed on my chest for a few moments, and then he focused his attention on my face.

"Hello, YN. Now answer my question."

I wanted to tell him to fuck off. That I didn't answer to him, but I found myself telling the same lie I told Jang-Mi.

I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't believe me, but he didn't say anything. "Put them back on. I want to see which one to snap next."

I looked around to make sure the teacher wasn't in the room and put the remaining fifteen back on and placed my arm across his desk.

He looked over the colours and was just about to open his mouth when the teacher walked in. I covered my arm and turned around, ready to get this lesson over with.

~

I was bored. So very bored as our teacher droned on and on. I became lost in my own thoughts again, trying to entertain myself, so I didn't die from boredom, that I didn't hear the movement behind me, but I sure as hell felt his breath next to my ear.

"Orange."

I knew what he meant. When snapped, the wearer is willing to kiss.

Now, I just have to wait for him to snap it, and that could be today or tomorrow.

~

I practically ran from the classroom to get to lunch. I was starving. I missed breakfast because I slept through my alarm.

I placed my books in my locker and went to close it when it was slammed closed.

That could only be one person.

Gwi-nam's POV:

I watched as YN ran from the room. Didn't even bother to look back at me. I knew where she was headed, her locker, before she goes and meets her friends for lunch.

She was putting her books from her morning classes away in such a rush that had me confused. Usually, she is very organised, but not at this very moment.

I stood behind her just as she was about to close her locker when I slammed it closed.

"Gwi-nam, I am very hungry. Can this wait until after lunch?" She said as she turned around to look at me. I leaned down so only she could hear what I was saying.

"Arm." YN sighed and held up her arm. I pulled the sleeves of her jumper down and found the orange one. She didn't look away as I snapped the orange one and pocketed it just like I did the yellow one.

"A kiss is all I ask for." I tapped my cheek, indicating that is where I wanted the kiss. I leaned in even closer, my arms on either side of YN as I waited for her to kiss my cheek.

But she was close enough, I turned my head at the last moment, and our lips connected. I gripped the back of her head as she tried to pull away. Her struggling made me want to say fuck this little game and take her to empty room and fuck her.

But she did something that not only surprised me but also had me wanting more. YN stopped struggling and moaned into the kiss.

This one simple kiss that left us both breathless as we pulled away from one another. I took a step back and cupped her chin in my hand and squeezed.

"You better make sure I don't catch you without them." I left the threat hanging in the air as I turned my back to her and walked away.

She is probably wondering why she responded the way she did, but at this point, I have her exactly where I want her.

Yellow (Part 1) ♧ Glittery Yellow (Part 3)

[jasmyluv]

042. An end of another chapter with you

wc: 1075

Graduation.

A day most people either dread or dream of their whole high school life, you included.

A few weeks ago, you got called to the principal’s office for the first time, to everyone's surprise. It wasn’t long till a rumor of you doing something bad spread like wildfire. Were you expelled? Suspended? Caught doing who knows what?

Quite the opposite actually. You sit on the chair in front of the principal, nervously waiting for what he has to say.

“Ms. [Last name], I’m sorry if I excused you from your class, but I think you’re going to want to hear this.”

Huh?

“What is it, sir?” You ask eagerly. Is it what you think it is?

“I am proud to say that you, [Name] [Last name], is this batch’s valedictorian for Academic Year 2022 to 2023. Congratulations,” he says with a wide smile on his face.

Yes.

Finally, you achieved what you’ve been dreaming all your life, to hear your name with valedictorian is something that you have been waiting for. It is to this that the sleepless nights are worth it. You wanted to jump up and down and squeal, but you needed to keep your composure.

“I see! Thank you, sir! Now, if I may, I will need to go to class now,” You say hurriedly, standing up out of excitement.

“Well, alright. Please prepare your valedictorian speech for graduation. Congratulations again,” You smile at the words that came out of his mouth. You quickly speed-walked to class, entering it as if nothing happened.

Now, here you were, awaiting for your name to be called, your hands, shaking. You couldn’t explain how nervous you were, you forgot that you hated speaking in front of large crowds.

“Please welcome [Name] [Last name], your Academic Year 2022 to 2023 batch’s valedictorian,” the speaker called as everyone clapped and cheered. This was the moment you’ve been waiting for all your life. Holy shit, this is actually happening.

You walk to the podium, your speech in your hand and a mic in front of you.

“Hello everyone. Welcome to my batch’s graduation ceremony. I would first like to say that I am proud of each and every graduate here today. I can not express how I’m so happy to have been with every single one of you throughout my journey through high school. The only reason why I am here is because of the unrelenting support of my friends and family, I can not thank them enough. As they know, I’m not the best at speaking in front of large crowds, much less the parents and loved ones of many graduates. So, I will be using a trick that I learned from a show called “Young Sheldon”, to only deliver that speech to this one person.

To this person, I know you know who you are. You have taught me to be the best version of myself in the very short period of time that we have been together. You were there when I cried because there were times I couldn’t do it anymore. You were there when I was at my happiest. You were there when I was just there. We’ve competed with each other many times over grades, scores, and who can finish their research paper the fastest. But, I wouldn't trade it for even the most expensive diamond in the world. This person taught me to just be myself, to be happy. I know it’s such a silly phrase, cliché maybe. But, you taught me that to be happy is the best thing that you can do in this world full of unending consequences and the worst things you couldn’t even believe happens. You taught me to just be happy through it all because you can’t control fate, so you just let it happen.

To be happy is to be the best, your best, you said. Soon, if you just keep smiling and look at the better side of things, then you’ll be happier than you were before. Sure, you will cry, get angry, fear many things, but know that all of that is temporary. Soon, you will find that something that will make you smile. Soon, you will find that someone who you will giggle about just thinking about them. And, do not get me wrong, maybe it will take years until you find it, but when you will, you will be happier than you ever were before. So, if any one of my fellow graduates aren’t at your happiest right now, know that you will get through this feeling, know that you will feel better because I can’t even begin to think what every single one of us will be doing in the future. So, just as a very popular artist once said, as long as we are fortunate enough to be breathing, we will breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out (Swift, 2022). Believe me, we will get through it. Thank you and have a good day,” as you walked to the place where the graduates were, behind the podium, everyone stood up and clapped, some of the graduates even teared up at your speech. You look at the person who you dedicated your speech to, Scaramouche, you smile as your heart flutters with excitement.

After the graduation, you met up with your friends, exchanging “congratulations” with each other.

“Oh my God, [Name]! That was the best best speech I have ever heard in my entire life! It almost made me cry!” Yoimiya exclaims as she hugs you.

“Haha! Thanks, Yoi,”

“[Name], I have a question,” Ayaka says.

“Go for it,”

“Who did you dedicate your speech to?” She asks, everyone looking at you as they await your response.

“Well-“

“[Nameee],” a male voice cuts you off, you immediately recognize who it is. You turn around and smile at the sight. Scaramouche with a bouquet of roses in his hands, covering himself with them.

“Speak of the devil. Kunii! How are you, my love? Did you cry at my speech?” You ask as he gives you the flowers. You friends finally know who your speech was about. So, they leave you two alone.

“Cocky of you to think I’d cry. I’m alright, congratulations [Name],” he says. He most certainly did cry. You hug him tight. “Thanks, Kuni, love you,” your words were muffled, but he still heard it, nonetheless. He hugs you back, returning the “I love you.”

- College -

previous :: MASTERLIST

Of all people… - scaramouche x fem!reader smau

SYNOPSIS When you, a student who finds her best friend admits the terrors of high school. A best friend who’ve you’d hated ever since he left. Of all people, why was he the one to make you swoon, a person you swore to hate?

Fun facts!

Albedo was the salutatorian

yes that's trade L

[Name]'s pfp is my dog :))

The speech is inspired by young sheldon HUJEWUHAHA

Tag list;

@yourstrulykore @sakiimeo @ttoshiiroz @lxry-chxn @stopandget-help @r0ttenhearts @h-8chi @thenightsflower @killuixz @linn-a-a @vodkistt @raideneiari @yuyan @layla240 @barbatosfavouritenun @plinkuro @taikabae @beriiov @ghostxrism @rifran @elakari @kairxse @belovedxiao @alwaysmentallyill @mellowknightcolorfarm @xingyunclouds @scooofyaei @nambii @scaraapologist @samyayaya @kunikuzushisbeloved @dee-zbignuts @kaekazuha04 @monochromaticelliot @erosdevil @wisteriarain @kaoyamamegami @dazaiswifenicole @phoenix-eclipses @vivinsoul @vuvulia @r4yyyyy @cinnamontimecrunch @whatamidoing89 @aludicpoet @cindywasneverhere @vvasant @st0pthatsgay @kxr0mi @divinechicha @sketcheeee @wonderful-worlds

A/n:

the long awaited last chapter!!!! kinda sad it's ending since I've been doing this series since november 2022. Thank you to everyone who supported this series, I hope you loved it as much as I loved making it!! Get ready for more fics and Call you mine to come <3

[the-princess-of-loki]

Can't take it back

Pairing: Loki x fem!you

Warnings: None, this is pure fluff. A little bit of angst.

I inspired myself a little with "A Thousand Years", so if you want, here's a link for you to listen to it while reading.

Loki couldn’t take it anymore. He has waited for you for what seemed an eternity, only to find you already taken. By a mortal. A useless mortal that wouldn’t give you half of what he could. And now he was comforting you, hugging you in his arms as you cried your heart over a stupid human who didn’t see you as you should be seen. He couldn’t take it. He wanted to do it for you, but he couldn’t stand it anymore. He couldn’t see you like this. Thus, he stood up, making sure you wouldn’t fall from the sofa, and started to walk towards the door of your apartment.

“Loki? Where are you going?” You asked him with a broken voice. Loki took a deep breath before turning around to face you again. Your beautiful face covered in tears tore him apart.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t see you cry for a mortal that doesn’t deserve you,” Loki explained with the calmest voice he could manage.

“Please, don’t leave me now…” the way you pleaded him was like a million knives to his heart. “I need you.”

“No, you don’t!” Loki shouted and immediately regretted it, but he couldn’t take it back. “You need a friend.”

“You are my friend…” You said confused as you stood up and walked over to him. Loki’s throat felt dry.

“I’m not.”

Before he could think his actions through, Loki closed the distance between you two with just one large step. He cupped both your cheeks with his large hands and kissed your lips with passion. He enjoyed the sensation of your lips against his, taking great pleasure in the way your bodies seemed to respond in synchronisation. He enjoyed a good few minutes before he realised what he was doing. Loki pulled back immediately, sheer horror at what he did covered his whole face. He seemed even paler than he usually is. Without even saying goodbye, he left you alone in your apartment.

-0-

Loki had avoided you for the past weeks. He wasn’t sure if you wanted to see him, or if you just wanted to yell at him for what he had done. You have sent him some messages, asking him to go and see you, but Loki hasn’t dared to reply. You weren’t specific in your messages so he didn’t want to make any assumptions as regards your intentions.

Two weeks after that night, however, Loki received a text from one of your co-workers. You had told him before that he was your emergency contact at work. Your co-worker just told him you hadn’t gone to work earlier today and wondered if everything was okay. Immediately, Loki shifted into an eagle and flew over to your apartment. He didn’t bother knocking as he was too worried to care about formalities. Loki used his magic and opened your door without making a noise. When he was inside, he could see you laying on the sofa. He walked over to you and bent next to your face. Loki sighed, relieved, when he noticed you were only asleep. Nevertheless, he could notice your eyes swollen as they usually were when you had cried a lot. He couldn’t leave you just there when he knew you’d been crying. You didn’t give him much choice either, because you opened your eyes at that exact instant and looked at him.

“Loki…?” You asked, your beautiful voice hoarse. You looked at him confused and Loki’s heart started to beat wildly against his chest just to see your beautiful eyes looking back at him.

“Hello, darling,” Loki answered with a sense of awkwardness that he tried to hide with a charming smile of his. You reached your hand to his face, touching him slightly as if you were afraid he would disappear at your touch. “I am sorry I have irrupted into your flat like this. One of your co-workers sent me a message that you didn’t go to work today and I was worried about you.” You sat up straight on the sofa, stretching a little, before you looked at him again. Loki’s heart skipped a beat when he saw the sadness in your eyes.

“Well, you can see I’m still alive. You can go on ignoring me now.”

“Darling, I am sorry-”

“No. Don’t call me that. Your absence made it perfectly clear that I mean nothing to you,” You interrupted him and it was Loki’s time to look at you confused. 

“What? No. You mean more to me than anything else,” You scoffed, standing up. Loki stood up as well, still looking at you confused.

“Why did you leave me, then?” You asked him, not turning around to face him. However, Loki could hear in your voice that you were starting to cry again. He immediately took a step further and put his arms around you, hugging you tight against him. He kissed your hair as you trembled in his arms, still not facing him.

“I was afraid. I thought you hated me because…of what I did…” Loki replied in a whisper. He couldn’t even say the word ‘kiss’ out loud. It was too embarrassing for him. How could he, a god, give in to his impulses like that? He was still blaming himself for his weakness. You turned around in his arms, looking at him with determination. You tiptoed and kissed his lips softly.

“Hating you because of that? You’re much more important to me than a simple kiss…” Loki gulped his saliva, feeling his pale cheeks going a little pink.

“You don’t understand, darling. It wasn’t just a kiss…I…” Loki sighed, trying to gather the courage to mutter the words. “I am in love with you,” He finally muttered, forcing himself to look into your eyes.

“You…are?” you asked him, surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything before?” Loki sighed again.

“You have that relationship and I didn’t want to force my feelings into you when your heart is elsewhere…”

“My heart was always with you, Loki. I’ve never thought about the possibility of a handsome god like you falling for a human like me, so I didn’t even thought about it. But that man means nothing to me. You do.”

Before he could even react, you joined your lips with his again, this time not letting go. Loki kissed you back without a second thought, closing his eyes, hugging you tighter against him and moving his lips lovingly against yours. You both kissed for a long time, forgetting everything around you and just enjoying the pleasure of your lips together. The feeling of having you in his arms, safe and sound while he kissed you to his heart’s content, had Loki beaming. 

“I am…what you want?” Loki asked in a whisper, nuzzling your nose with his, still not opening his eyes for fear that he was dreaming and this was all an illusion. The irony wasn’t lost on him, to be honest.

“Look at me, Loki,” you asked him in a whisper and he immediately opened his eyes. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you. You smiled sweetly at him as you caressed his now pink cheek. “You are more than everything that I want, that I could have even imagined. Loki, you are a dream come true.”

Loki beamed again and kissed you again. From that moment on, he wouldn’t let go of you. Ever again.

[dailyexo]

Kai - 230325 Instagram account update

"안녕하세요. 오늘 처음 일등한 카이입니다! 여러분 저 일등했어요! 다른 것보다 여러분에게 달려가 너무너무 감사하고 고맙다는 말하고 싶었어요. 다시 한번 더 너무너무 감사하고 사랑합니다. 저는 데뷔 이후로 언제나 일등이나 특별한 상을 목표로 해본적이 없어요. 나 자신이 만족할 수 있는 무대, 누구에게나 인정 받는 가수, 저 자신에게 집중하는 시간이 가장 중요했었어요. 근데 하루하루 시간이 지나면서 여러분과 함께하는 시간, 같이 만들어온 추억과 순간들이 지금 저에게 가장 중요한 목표이자 행복이 되었습니다. 이번 앨범 역시 마찬가지였어요. 저와 여러분이 함께 즐거운 시간을 만들자는 마음으로 시작했고, 행복한 추억을 남기자는 마음으로 활동을 했는데 이렇게 생각지도 못한 큰 선물을 받게 되니 더할나위 없이 행복합니다. 저를 오늘 울게 만든 이유는 다른 건 없어요. 고생했던 노력, 시간, 처음 해본 일등 저에게 하나도 중요하지 않고 오로지 여러분이 저에게 주는 사랑 그게 너무나도 크게 마음으로 느껴졌습니다. 언제나 저에게 행복을 주는 우리 사랑스러운 팬분들. 그 마음에 다시 한번 더 감사하고 언제나 받는 사랑에 감사함을 알고 돌려드리는 겸손한 사람이 되도록 노력하겠습니다! 너무나도 감사하고 사랑합니다."

Translation: "Hello! This is Kai, who has today won first place for the very first time! Everyone, I won first place! More than anything else, I wanted to run to you all and say thank you so much. Thank you so much, once again, and I love you! Ever since my debut, I never aimed for a first place or a special award. The most important thing for me was a stage that I could be proud of, becoming a singer who is recognized by everyone, and having time to focus on myself. But as days go by, the time I spend with you, the memories and moments that we make together, became my most important goal and happiness. It was the same for this album. I started with the intention of making a good time together with you, and I worked with the intention of leaving happy memories, but I am so happy to receive such an unexpected gift. There's nothing else that made me cry today. The hard work, time, and first place It's not important to me at all The love you give me I felt it in my heart. Our lovely fans, who always give me happiness. I'm so thankful for that, I'll try to be a humble person who knows how be thankful for the love I receive and returns it to you! Thank you so much and I love you."

Credit: zkdlin.

[final-girl96]

STOLE HEARTS CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Author's Note: It has been forever since I updated this, and I apologize.

~♡~♡~♡~

A WEEK LATER

I sat in the kitchen at my dad's house. After what happened with Eddie I went home and packed as much shit I could get in my car and came straight to my dad's. He wasn't home though; he was on his tour with the rest of the band. So I was here alone. Drowning in my own thoughts; replaying every word Eddie had said to me. I would have stayed in our house but when I told him not to bother coming home it only produced more harsh words from him.

“Well, congratulations, Eddie, you're a free man now. You can go fuck whoever you want and get as drunk and high as you cold icy black heart can handle. I'm done. We're done.” I began to walk towards my car, but stopped and turned back around. “oh, and don't bother coming home. I'll pack your shit and you can go live your life the way you want since I'm such a bitch.”

“Technically, sweetheart, that house is mine. I bought it and it's in my name. So you should be the one to leave.” His words were slurred but still very clear at the same time. “Don't need you anyway. Not when I can have any girl I want. Only used to get where I am now! Stacy is hotter than you and has a better pussy!”

I couldn't stop the tears that fell down my cheeks. He was drunk and didn't mean it. That's what I tried to tell myself. But you know what they say, “drunk words are sober thoughts.” I got in my car, went back to the house, grabbed as much as I could fit in my car, and left. I came to my dad's and the flood of tears I've been holding back that I've been holding in since the hideout. I cried until I fell asleep and when I woke up a few hours later, my eyes were still sore, red, and puffy.

It's been like that on and off for a week. I would cry until I fell asleep, then I'd wake up and force myself to eat something. I haven't gone anywhere or done anything either, just been curled up on the couch or in my bed all day. I didn't bother getting dressed, favoring pajamas or sweatpants and an oversized sweater. I'd slowly make my way into the kitchen and make myself eat something at least once a day.

Today I wore a pair of black sweats and one of my dad's sweatshirts, with a pair of wool socks. I was making my way downstairs when the doorbell chimed through the house. I stopped halfway down the stairs, my heart stopped for a second before picking up and hammering against my ribcage. I haven't heard from Eddie at all since I left that night. I was kind of disappointed and sad he didn't try to reach out, but at the same time I was glad he didn't. I was frozen on the stairs not wanting to check and see who it was; afraid it might be him.

What would I do? What would I say? What would he say? Would he try to apologize? Or would he beg for me to forgive him and give him another chance. Say that he didn't mean everything he said? The doorbell rang again followed by someone pounding on the door. I slowly moved down the stairs and towards the door. The person on the other side pounded on the door again and I moved faster, coming up to the door, and peaking through the peephole. Who I saw was someone I never suspected to be at my doorstep. I unlocked the door and pulled it open.

“You look like shit.” The door was pushed open and they pushed their way into the house. “Excuse you! You can't just barge into my house like you own the fucking place!” I closed the door. “Hargrove!” I walked after him, finding him in the kitchen sitting the bags of food on the counter. “What are you doing here? What the fuck is that?” He started to go through the cabinets. “Hello?”

“It's chinese. Where’re the plates?” I pointed to the cabinet to the left of the stove. “Why are you here?” I asked. He grabbed a couple plates, turned, set them down, and began to pull everything out of the bags. “Thought you'd want company. Also figured you probably haven't been eating much of anything other than ice cream. You women are pathetic after a breakup or any little inconvenience.” I raised my brow at him. “Excuse you? I have eaten more than ice cream, not that it's any of your business and I don't need comp…”

“Honey chicken?” I looked at him confused and he raised his eyebrows at me along with an annoyed look. I nodded my head and he proceeded to put a little over everything on the plates. “Sit and eat.” I sat in one of the stools with a sigh. “I didn't need any company.” Billy stayed standing while he ate and scoffed. “Are you going to tell me that you haven't been curled up in your bed crying all day for a week?” I shoved rice into my mouth and rolled my eyes. “No. Sometimes I lay on the couch,” I said with a small smile forming on my face. Billy scoffed out a laugh. “Oh well, excuse me.”

Silence fell over us for a few minutes while we ate our food. “Why are you really here, Billy?” I asked after a while. He shrugged, “Guess I just thought I'd come check on you. I know you're here all alone and what happened between you and E…” I gave him a look that cut him short. I didn't even want to hear his name. “Look, I know you probably don't want to hear anything about him or what happened at the bar…what he said was fucking…I wanted to knock his ass out for it. But I don't know if what he said is true. And before you bit my fucking head off let me explain why.”

I stood up, going over to the fridge and yanking it open. I pulled a water and a beer out, placing the beer in front of Billy. “Well? Go on. Let's hear why you think he wasn't telling the truth? I mean brink words are sober thoughts, right? That's what they say. But before you do let me tell you something you don't know.” He nodded his head and let me continue. “She was there at his last concert. She was waiting outside. We came back here because things started to get really rocky between us. It was a party every night after a concert…after a while I decided to stop going with him. He continued partying and would be out all night long not getting until sometimes four in the morning.”

I took a sip of water and looked up at him. “I have no doubt that she has been around for a while now. He was just drinking, Billy, and he was also getting high. I know talking about smoking pot either. I'm talking about cocaine. He swore it wasn't all the time and that it wasn't enough for him to get addicted to. It went from just being in the green room with the boys and a few girls the other guys would pick out of the crowd of fans to going out to clubs and being out until four in the morning. Also, It wasn't the first time he said something like that to me.”

[luv4aria]

warnings: slight mentions of abuse, cursing, suggestive behavior. anddd i think that’s it if there’s anything missed lmk.

a/n: this is so lazily written i swear i didnt try. but i’ve been obsessing over hayden christensen a lot lately so why not write abt one of his characters hence why im going to be writing abt sam monroe :) i will be making this a series and trying to update every week at best. again if u see any grammatical errors um this was written lazily saurr yeah.

paring: fem!reader x modernau!sam monroe.

the second i got home she was screaming. why i don’t know and frankly, i didn’t care i just needed to stay out of her sight. as i tiptoed through my house up the stairs she yelled.

“what are you doing. do you see how dirty this kitchen is. come down here and clean it”

i hesitated.

“now.” my mother demanded 

as i made my way downstairs she hit me. not that i wasn't used to it because she had hit me all the time it was just that she hadn't hit me in a long time. i fell to the ground and she repeatedly slapped me and yelled at me to get up. i started to tear up. “no,” i thought i couldn't cry now not in front of her so i blinked back tears and got up trying to compose myself i tried to keep my voice as steady as possible.

“where are the dish rags” i asked

my mother marched around the kitchen slamming the cabinets as she searched for a dishrag. the second she found one she threw it right at my face.

“the kitchen better be clean by the time i wake up” my mom ordered and with that, she walked upstairs once she was out of my sight. i broke down. i believe i cried for a good 5 minutes before i finally got up and started cleaning.

after about an hour had gone by i was finally done with the dishes my fingers were all pruney but as i looked around the kitchen the only thing i had to do left was sweep i don't know why my mom was complaining about the kitchen being dirty. so i swept for what felt like hours. once i was done i put the broom away and made my way upstairs past my mom's room i stopped and put my ear up to her door and heard her snores.

she was asleep “thank god” i murmured. i didn't want to hear her mouth anymore. as i made my way to the end of the hall i stopped in front of my room door and opened it. i let out the heaviest sigh ever my room was dirty i swear shit just piles up i swore to myself i’d clean it up tomorrow knowing damn well i wouldn’t. i stepped over clothes, hangers, shoes, and other shit that was on my floor and sat at my desk swiping everything off of it with my arm was not my best idea because once everything hit the ground it made a loud thud sound like a body had hit the ground. i stayed silent for a second listening to see if my mom had gotten up and she hadn’t i opened the desk drawer and pulled out the small voice recorder my dad had given me before he died. i pressed play and started talking.

“hello, future y/n today's date is march 30th 2024.” i paused for a moment. “so today was quite boring until sam asked me a question. yes, sam monroe asked me a question. the boy i have been crushing on since the 7th grade talked to me today. he asked me if i liked rock i said yes even though i couldn't stand rock music. he then gave me a flier to a gig he and his band had. and then told me he would be really happy if i went to go see him and his band of course i happily took the flier and told him i’d be there he beamed and then got up from his seat because class was over. i still could not fathom the fact that he asked me out!! okay, i need to calm down but that's pretty much it for now hopefully i get to suck his dick or something..i kidding! of course i am im not okay buh bye.”

and with that, i pressed stop on the recorder and quickly put it back in my desk drawer i then walked over to my bed lifted the mattress, and grabbed my packet of cigarettes and my lighter. as i walked over to my window i lit my cigarette and put it up to my lips taking a slow drag from it. then i heard footsteps. it was my mom i knew it was i quickly put the cigarette out and flicked out onto the street and then i pretty much sprinted to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. the footsteps stopped. guess she went back to bed.

after i finished brushing my teeth i checked the clock it was already nine o’clock guess i should go to bed now i threw on an oversized shirt and walked over to my bed. i stared at my ceiling for a good 10 minutes thinking about the day i was about to have tomorrow. then i slowly fell asleep.

[manheeiim]

chapter two: introductions

-- a ghostly love masterlist

I opened my eyes and all I saw at first was the stars and the pitch black sky. I immediately sat up and looked around but there was absolutely no one. What was going on? I had no clue. Was I alive? If I was.. then where is everyone? And if I’m not.. then why am I here?

I got off the ground and headed towards the bleachers. I walked up the bleachers, the sound of my footsteps on the metal stairs sounding even louder than usual due to the quietness outside. I looked around and there was absolutely nobody. 

I then made my way inside of the school. There was still no one. I was completely and utterly confused. I hesitated before heading to the locker room and grabbing my bag out of the locker, walking out of the locker room with the bag, through the school, and towards the sidewalk.

As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk, it was as if I teleported to the football field again. I looked around confused as I dropped my bag on the floor. I then fell to my knees as I started crying into the palms of my hands. What is happening right now?

A long while after, I finally stopped crying and as I wiped my tears, I could see someone walking my way. I watched as they came over to me. From my angle, they seemed so tall and mighty. It was a man, his hair was slicked to the side and he was wearing a suit. 

“Hello, my name is Mr. Martin. And you are?” The man said in a very formal sounding voice, if that even makes sense.

“Lucia… Lucia _______.” I respond and the man nods. “Are you.. are you a teacher here?” I ask, still unsure of what was even happening.

“I was a teacher here.” Mr. Martin responds.

“What do you mean?” I inquire.

“Well, I died here in the ‘50s.” He tells me. My body got tense, so I really was dead. “And you, well you just died today, I’m guessing.” Mr. Martin then says.

“Um… I guess.” I say in a monotone voice.

“If you like, we’re about to have a meeting in the gym. You can join us.” Mr. Martin tells me.

“Who’s we?” I ask.

“You’ll see.” Is all he says before he starts walking towards the school again. I stood there for a moment before catching up and walking with him, leaving my backpack behind.

<3

Mr. Martin walked into the bright gym and I followed behind. Past him, I could see a group of people sitting in chairs that were put in a circle. “Guys, we have a new student!” Mr. Martin announces as I walk behind him. He sits in a chair and I just sit in a random empty chair on the other side of the circle.

“Ooo, a cheerleader.” A girl, dressed in almost all black clothing that seemed to be from sometime in the 60s, says rather sarcastically.

“Rhonda, let’s let her introduce herself.” Mr. Martin tells everyone.

Everyone then looked over to me and I made eye contact with the guy sitting next to me. He had dark fluffy straight hair and was wearing a sleeveless gray shirt along with some gray sweatpants. I noticed that he was wearing a gold chain on his neck but I quickly looked away.

“Um, I’m Lucia _______.” I say, not really sure what to say. “I am.. or I mean, I was a senior.” I tell everyone, unsure on how to really phrase this. “And yeah, I’m- I was on the cheer team.” I say, having to correct myself.

“Nice to meet you, Lucia. I’m Charley.” A guy with blonde highlights, glasses, and a striped shirt tucked into baggy jeans told me. 

“Hi.” I give him a small smile.

“How’d you die?” Rhonda blurts out and I look over at her.

“Um, well, I don’t know all the details but, um, today was the pep rally and obviously, the cheer team did a performance out on the field. I was one of the flyers. And, I guess- I mean, I know, that I did the twist wrong and I wasn’t caught by my teammates and I landed wrong and.. and I don’t know, everything went black and now I’m here.” I say.

Charley just winced at the thought of it, Rhonda said nothing at first, and the guy whose name I didn’t know just looked at me. Mr. Martin decided to be the one to break the silence. “Well, actually, Wally here,” Mr Martin motioned to the guy sitting next to me, “he died on the football field as well.” Mr. Martin says.

I looked over at the guy, who’s name is Wally, and he just gave me a small smile. “Yeah, I’m Wally Clark. Nice to meet you.” He says, holding his hand out for me to shake. I awkwardly put my hand out and he took it, shaking my hand. “Class of ‘84. I was laid out by a tackle during my senior year homecoming game.” He tells me, holding my hand in his as he spoke before he let go. 

“Your name sounds familiar.” I admit.

“Yeah, they named the stadium after me.” He says, seemingly proud.

“Yeah, and none of us are ever living that down. That’s like, a personality trait of his.” Charley tells me and I can’t help but giggle. “Hey, maybe you’ll get your name on something out there too.” He then adds.

I shake my head, “I doubt it.” I say.

“You never know.” Charley tells me with a small smile and I just shake my head once again.

“So… are you all the people that have died here as well?” I ask.

“Yeah, well, I mean there’s Dawn. She died in the ‘70s. She’s spent all her time roaming around the school.” Wally tells me.

“Oh..” Is all I say in response.

“No one really knows how she died.” Charley tells me. “She died in the ‘70s though, she was probably doing acid or something.” He says.

“Oh my god.” I say and he just shrugs.

[lovecanyon]

would prince!harry and duchess!reader ever move out of the royal bubble with baby diana to give her a more stable upbringing? like if they got fed up with the royal lifestyle with all the rules and restrictions and media scrutiny and decided to go their own way? what would it look like?

INSTAGRAM BLURB

prince!harry x duchess!reader

MASTERLIST

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liked by user15, user77 and 2,480,711 others

pagesix Prince Harry and Duchess Y/N at a café yesterday morning. Sources say the couple decided to permanently live in California for the sake of their privacy.

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user29 MY PARENTS

user56 honestly good for them, they deserve privacy

user41 you know the queen is hating them right now…

user67 she probably is 🤭

user83 all of the royals are leaving one by one

user10 next they’re on oprah

user59 harry only moved because of y/n and diana…crying 😭

user22 where can i find myself a royal husband…

liked by user86, user102 and 1,357,992 others

hsupdates The Y/N and Harry moving to California rumors are true! Source: @/deuxmoi

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user13 to be honest i’m glad they left

user46 THEY MOVED TO CALIFORNIA? HONESTLY SO ICONIC OF THEM 🤭

user22 diana is gonna be a la girl omg

user94 he looks so annoyed

user51 well if someone was sneakily taking a photo of you…you wouldn’t Ike it

user17 james corden was also with them!!!!!

user84 y/n is literally living the dream…she met a prince in high school and started dating him…ended up married to him and having his kids…i wanna be her 😭

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 5,927,611 others

harry_lambert lovebirds!

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user15 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user62 y/n and harry make me feel single 😭

yourinstagram LAMBYYYYY WE ADORE YOU

harry_lambert you are literally my idol

emmachamberlain they can adopt me, i’ll be their dog at this point

user27 crying and throwing up

harrystyles Send these to me 🐑

harry_lambert On it Edward.

user40 omg is this harry’s account 🧍

liked by user16, user33 and 948,271 others

y/nstylesupdates Harry’s confirmed Instagram! He’s followed by many people including…Ariana Grande, Rihanna, Zendaya, Emma Chamberlain, Jacob Elordi…etc. The only account he’s following is Y/N’s.

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user12 HIS PROFILE PICTURE SHUT UP

user66 "probably somewhere with my wife" he’s so in love with y/n…it’s sick

user90 i want a man like him 🙄

user71 harry only following y/n makes me believe in love again

user47 he’s so loyal to y/n 😭

user25 his bio, his profile pic, his one following…he’s so real for that

emmachamberlain MY BIGGEST FLEX EVER

liked by user106, user28 and 6,729,688 others

stylesupdates Y/N in Malibu earlier today with Diana!

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user92 SHE IS THE MOMENT

user34 you can tell y/n and harry are thriving in california

user14 literally! they seem so much happier

user71 wishing for a prince to join my high school then i can live my dream/y/n’s life 😭

user29 still crying over the fact y/n and harry named their baby diana

user18 manifesting her life

user58 y/n is eating up all the influencers 🤭

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 16,290,716 others

voguemagazine Y/N Styles our June cover girl.

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user113 y/n is helping vogue rise from the grave

user528 SCREAMING OMG

alexademie my icon!!!!!

user309 you already know harry is going insane over these pictures

yourinstagram i have over 50 texts from him, so yeah

harrystyles Sorry not sorry.

zendaya I hate you both.

user788 HELLO? I AM SCREAMING AT THIS INTERACTION

user215 i wanna be harry right now

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yourinstagram the happiest days!

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user319 THE WAY Y/N DESTROYS SOCIAL MEDIA EVERY TIME SHE POSTS

user877 dilf & milf

harrystyles I’m so in love with you.

yourinstagram i love you so much!!!

user136 screaming into my pillow 😀

emmalouisecorrin my faves forever

user490 diana is so adorable omg 😭😭

arianagrande I JUST LOVE THIS FAMILY SO MUCH

user236 the way every celeb is fangirling over y/n and harry…they are iconic truly

billieeilish i love when you post, it has me screaming

harrystyles via instagram stories

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tag list : @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ivegotparticulartaste @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @academiaghosts @japanchrry @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @hrryscherrys @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @newyorker14 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @eunoiamaa @kaitieskidmore1 @gublerscherry @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @teenidlemuse @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @leah2002 @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @iluvjj @bisouma @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @harryistheonlyoneforme @stellarossii

[rosyk]

Seven in Silence

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: heavy angst, romance, slight thriller, passion

warnings: family problems, anxiety, separation issues, depression, and light curses

word count: 17.1k

a/n: Hello everyone! I came back from the dead lol. This was not proofread but also the most interesting story I've handled because I wrote the first part two years ago and continued it this year. I really enjoyed how this one ended up and I hope you do too <3 (also any feedback regarding the way I changed [name] to y/n instead cause others seemed to be enjoying it better; what do you think?)

There I was again, planning to do the usual routine even at my best friend’s wedding. Right, I was supposed to be happily crying for her but today seemed off. The tears overflowing as I faced the mirror in the women’s restroom, burns my cheeks and sore my eyes. It hurts so bad but it isn’t as if that wasn’t my everyday lifestyle. I cried after knowing I had another day to suffer and wept in my sleepless nights. Common breakdowns, that’s it. I take this as something unacceptable though especially in the time my partner in crime would be off in her white dress. I should be in joy, rather than make her feel bad.

I sniffed and wiped away my tears. I pulled out a foundation on my favorite sling bag and placed it on my face to cover up the marks under my eyes. As I was about to leave, I hesitated twisting the doorknob. “Great” I sighed after remembering. I am not on good terms with some people she’s friends with, but I don’t want to break it to her. I shook all the thoughts away and took a deep breath to prepare myself. Opening the door, my first steps were something I was proud of. 

Heading to the same table as they are, they greeted me with smiles. What I meant by that was ‘humiliating grins’. I despised it but I should make sure I wouldn’t cause another ruckus. 

“Anyone with you?” Emily, the girl who mocked me in class way back in high school, decided to speak up. The remaining girl fake gasped and her eyes widened in false concern. “Sorry, shouldn’t have talked about it” smugly, she remarked. 

They know well that my best friend is the only one I could count on. After my image was broken due to them setting me up, she’s the only one who accepted me at my worst. It still pains me that after this reception, I’d be all alone once again. 

Without letting them recognize the effect they’ve placed on me, I gave a slight smile that remains unnoticeable and replied “It’s fine. I went here alone, and it doesn’t matter”. I let it off with a slight chuckle to make it appear as a joke but they understood the context in which her group rolled their eyes and some scoffed. Reminiscing the memories, I saw her crying to death when she couldn’t be accepted in their ‘sorority’. She couldn’t live without having someone by her side, but I could; that’s the difference I wanted to say. 

Hearing the host clearing his throat, we were brought back to reality and faced him. He started with opening remarks that took too long for me to struggle to keep my tears back on my eyes. Swiftly acting as if I was admiring the place, I looked up and around the venue for a short while for it not to appear so obvious. 

Hours came by and yes, she was married and it was a mission accomplished. Her partner or now known as her husband is a lucky guy to be able to live with Yuna throughout her life. Everyone needs a Yuna; I’m so happy for her but now that I can’t be that free in communicating with her as she had other duties as a wife, seemed to be a problem for me.

It was just us in a cafe right now to celebrate, like what her friends claimed to say. Awful, suffocating, I was so out of place because I never was in their group. Not that I would want to anyway.

Every time they’d joke, I forced a slight chuckle as if I was amused with everything they said. Yuna, who is quite naive, was really happy because I get to enjoy myself with them. Her friends, on the other hand, raised their eyebrows at me and tried to hold in their laughter because they intended to make an inside joke I’ve never heard of. My pride sank but all I could do was smile.

The room was filled with loud chatters, contrastingly, I sighed mentally. It was a crowded room but I felt lonely somehow. I’m convinced it reassured me that I would have to be alone at the end of the day, and it’s not helping me get over it. The walls continued to scream insecurities and insincerities. 

Thus to distract myself, I shifted my eyes and it landed on a tall man in the window, just right after a couple finished eating and left it vacant. The atmosphere was pretty awkward after realizing his eyes reached mines. It took seconds until Yuna waved her hand in front, causing me to flinch a bit. 

“Hey, are you on the same planet as me? What are you spacing out for?” She continued and exhaled deeply. I blinked my eyes and finally registered the sequence of events after a few minutes. The others started to laugh and commented about how funny I was, which was an act of sarcasm to continue their process of humiliating me in subtle ways.

“Are you desperate to the point that you’re seeing things?” Regine, Emily’s sidekick, boldly opened the discussion even in front of Yuna. 

My best friend, of course, was left surprised and scolded her. “Gina!” she whisper-yelled and her eyebrows furrowed as a sign that she was disturbed by it. She started patting my back and I appreciated that she tried to console me somehow; even though it had hurt me more than enough. 

“What? Even we’re curious!” They laughed in unison except for Yuna. My partner in crime didn’t know about my discomfort but she got the hint that they were used to talking bad about me. She was exasperated due to the reason that it was hard to believe. After all, I seemed ‘close’ with her group.

It did create a sting in my heart and indeed I thought of it. Was it my hallucination? But all I could focus on was the blonde’s eyes who seemed to know me so well. Yes, it was impossible, even I think I was going crazy. I wasn’t able to identify his face. If a handsome, perfect guy was to come my way, is it logical to comprehend that I’d forget him? Definitely not. I didn’t know what hit me; is it my drive of finding another friend who’ll love me even after being the worst? Was it guilt? I’m not too sure myself but his eyes held meaning. It was like he asked the same question as I did a while ago; have we met?

My gut tells me to follow after him and my curiosity cheered me on. “I’m excusing myself” I didn’t look back and quickly took my sling bag with me and left. My white flowy dress blew up a bit but dropped as soon as I placed my bag on me. I ran and heard Yuna calling me out and it’s conclusive that the remaining felt like they’ve won because my best friend shouted furiously at them. Though I didn’t care as I was fixated with the guy. There’s something about him. 

Except he wasn’t in the same place anymore. Scanning the area, I looked at the slim streets in front. “He doesn’t seem to be there as well,” I thought. I heard footsteps coming from my side and warily turned around. 

“Young missy?” He was there. Across the street, his silhouette starts to make its way to me. As soon as he saw my face, he brought up his camera and a flash blinded my eye. That strained a bit and so I winced. I blinked both of my eyes slowly to get rid of the slight feeling that makes me want to puke. The flash affected me but all he did was chuckle and so I glared at him. He then noticed I was ready to place him on his grave so he lifted both of his hands as an indication of surrender. 

“I thought I was in heaven for a moment” I raised one of my eyebrows and bit my cheek in frustration. Call me childish and overreacting, it could affect my eyesight badly and I’m worried about that. Plus, it stings like hell. 

The man could only laugh, in which I thought he was slightly guilty about it until he replied “I wouldn’t blame you after seeing such a figure of mine. I hear that compliment all the time”. I looked up to him in confusion and hoped he got the signal. I expected him to be embarrassed after my expression but he decided to continue. “Better start kneeling and praying!” he sang playfully and lifted one of his fingers to point at each side.

It was lame but I got the gist of it. I stared in pure disgust and rolled my eyes after seeing him tilt his head, suggesting something. Acting as if I could shrug it off, I raised my hand and waved it against the air despite my hidden blush. No one dared to hit me up, so I did sense my legs weakening but balled fists who is tempted to give that smug look an uppercut. “Cut to the chase.” 

His eyes seemed to widen but narrowed soon after. He was listening and interested, that if my interpretation was right. He started to cross his arms and nodded as a signal to let me continue what I’m trying to say.

I was enveloped with embarrassment rather than this shameless guy. I gulped and pointed at him to which he responded with a sound that indicates a question. “You know me”, I bravely stated.

We stared at each other for minutes and each second makes me consider running or hoping I would be swallowed by the ground this instant. After the eyeing, he cracked up and held his stomach. “I know you?” Tears were forming in his eyes due to his uncontrollable laughter. I wanted to dissolve at the exact moment he calmed down but he cackled after because it makes my idea appear insane. But I mean, yes, it did sound like I was mental but why did he make it look like he knows me then? Why did he smile as if he wanted to start a conversation?

“Your eyes say so” I shot in another response and thankfully, he decided to settle down. The volume of his laughs was gradually decreasing so I had the opportunity to get over the shame I’ve felt. But this guy was up to no good.

He started to move towards me and I was crept out, stepping back slowly. He looked serious and stern, I was left shocked by his new demeanor. I bit my lip as I try to stand still and act unbothered due to our closeness. Our chests were pressed together and he bent down to my eye level. Nearer and nearer, he reached for my ear. “That’s love at first sight, darling”

And that was my limit. I kneed a stranger in between his thighs, really hard. 

He let out a yell and bent down due to the unmanageable pain he felt. I backed down a bit and showed my palms. Great, now I am seen as more than crazy. I claimed that he knew me when I can’t even remember his name and physically hurt him. 

“What the hell was that for?!” he exclaimed and by the look of it, I knew he was asking for the reason when he didn’t assault me or made any of my body parts bleed. Instincts wouldn’t be the right reason for that question as well, it seemed to be more of an excuse. 

“Well I just thought-” 

“For heaven’s sake! I may be a flirt, but I don’t take advantage of people. How daring of you to judge that fast” He scoffed and was certainly offended over the matter considering how he emphasized the word ‘that’. I was out of appropriate words that I could freely share. I wasn’t fond of guys much especially when they go near me. Let’s say it was an impulse. 

There may be something more to it, precisely why he had thought that way but I didn’t want to dig deeper about it and act more all-knowing than I already am. I pissed off a stranger’s ego, causing him to leave and walk away.

“Um...Hey!” I desperately tried to catch up to him because maybe, just maybe, did I actually feel a bit bad about it. It’s odd with the high pride that makes me never back down from something even I knew was wrong, to admit and feel guilty. I bit my lip and inhaled deeply as I hoped he would turn around and hear me out. I wanted to shout his name aloud and catch his attention but I recalled I didn’t get to know his name. He called me young miss,  so unintentionally, I did the same in a gender that matches his. “M-mister!” 

Watching from behind, he places his camera inside his side bag and inserts both of his hands on the pocket after wearing his earphones. Acting like he didn’t hear anyone, he walked away in a chill posture. 

My heels were clicking and red marks were all over my ankles. Crouching down as I leaned my weight on hands that were on top of my knees, I tried to catch my breath. I have frequent anger issues so instead of feeling sorry, I felt more annoyed than him. The man in a tux was stubborn and straight out ill-mannered with his impolite, vulgar words which show discourteous actions. I wasn’t judging, he had the personality of doing immoral things based on his dirty jokes. In short, he was angry for being who he actually was.

“Ugh whatever, who cares? It’s not like I’ll see him again” And with that, I rode a cab back to my apartment and decided to leave all my worries aside.

{MONDAY}

Disastrous. I believe that is what’s going to happen after a few more hours. If anyone of you is wondering what happened last night, let me elaborate. 

After riding a cab home in the afternoon, it all started with my other internet friend, Lia. She is sweet and looked innocent but is very outgoing at times. We knew each other on discord by secretly stanning this billboard hit group, Stray Kids and so we decided to meet up. I thought it was a bad idea because it felt like things would go wrong especially when my mom told me not to trust anyone on the internet. Turned out, we had so much fun.

Now back to the story, Lia called me out of the blue and it was the last thing I needed after meeting with ‘mister’. I didn’t want to turn her down though, so I answered. I should’ve known that she would put me in a blind date as usual. I almost had forgotten about that after several months of not seeing her. She insisted I go just for the reason of having her boyfriend by herself. That was when I realized it was her partner’s closest friend. If any, I should be scared because if it doesn’t work out well, or maybe once my mood swings struck again, it would affect their relationship. 

So here I am on a plain cafè I randomly picked out because he seemed uninterested. It had been 3 hours and observing the place, it doesn’t look like he is present nor on his way. Will he ditch me? maybe? probably? very? hell yes. 

The universe is absolutely trying its best to let it seep into my mind that no one would love or find me attractive. Amongst all my 35 dates this year, everyone had my hopes up but leaves me in the dust soon after. It’s not that I expected him to date me because I’m used to getting turned down all the time, I thought he would’ve at least showed up. 

4 hours passed by and it’s obvious he won’t be arriving. The moment I stood up to leave, I saw a familiar guy in sight; the man in tux. At least, he isn’t a stranger anymore but I wasn’t eager to see him. In fact, I never wanted him in my way or my vision. I had this bad image when it comes to him and it’s enough to make me cover myself up by turning around. There’s no use though, his eyes were quick to catch mines. I could hear footsteps coming and it’s making me lose myself. My head was in the opposite direction in which he couldn’t see me and I closed my eyes strongly, hoping a miracle would happen. 

step. ‘Oh no, what am I going to say when he arrives?’

step. ‘goodness gracious. God pick me up’

step. ‘Isn’t he going to stop?’

step. ‘Damn, I’d rather be spending my whole life with those 3 mean girls than seeing him’

step. ‘send me back to hell, he’s getting close’

step. ‘and closer’

step. ‘I could hear his breath but please don’t say anything

step. ‘Not a word stranger, please’

“Hey?” 

“Asshole”

My eyes widened in surprise due to my unintended murmur and I quickly turned around to face him. He put on the same reaction I had. Panicking, I covered up my mouth with my shaky hands. “I am- oh my god.... I’m so sorry” I ran my hands through my face aggressively and exhaled sharply. “i-it just came out” my voice was low enough to be heard as I wallowed myself up in mortification. 

I then listened to the sound of the chair squeaking a bit, being dragged for the man to sit down. He sat in front of me and was willing to talk about things. Incredible, how more magnificent could my day be after being turned down and the guy who knew about it thought of me as someone crazy. “I’m hopelessly horrid, aren’t I?” I refused to look until I heard him let out the cutest laugh I’ve ever heard. 

“still can’t get over yesterday?” he asked while placing his hand to let his head rest on it. I slowly lifted my head and gave another sigh that made him respond in a chuckle. Tugging my hair and looking at him with apologetic eyes, I do hope he understood I’m sincere about this.

“it’s just- I misunderstood things and offended you.... I am uncomfortable with guys plus something just happened that day that- yea...” I couldn’t sort out everything I wanted to say so I shifted my eyes to the side. Realizing I was close to crying in remorse and chagrin, I sniffed. After all, even though I looked like someone who seemed immature and doesn’t give a crap about everyone else, I was still a sensitive woman who just lost people and doesn’t want to make herself look more rotten and depressing than she already is. I needed friends but now that I have this ‘judgmental’ impression from the man, how can I have more people I could rely on? It’s also not him I’m in deep concern of, but other strangers who thought of me the same way he did. What if I was unintentionally rude to some? Dear me, I’m such a mess.

He must’ve noticed the teeny drops in my eyes that soon overflowed as I lifted my head, demanding the discreet tears to fall back in its cage. But it was to no use; he solved my puzzle way faster than anyone else who tried to have a gist of my life. It was a bittersweet feeling that arose my mind and touched my heart. Finally needing no words spoken, he knew what was lying behind the facade I was trying to pull dreadfully to save the only thing I have with me, my pride. Simultaneously, I loathe the idea of having a stranger identify my agony rather than those I trust which makes me come across conclusions that I was an open book or my friend was just gullible. I neither liked any of the conclusions stated so my mind ran off to hating him. 

“Must’ve been hard...” Inhaling torment and breathing out pity, he thought of words that could ease my ache. I didn’t need his comfort charity but if I were somebody else who’d stare at me, the same thought comes up and I despised it. From the bottom of my heart, I meant every word I said. This is why I don’t open up discussions regarding my life, it makes everyone look down on me “Luckily, I’m still here. I’m quite the social butterfly and we fit don’t you think?” a subtle pout showed up in his lips but the right corner rose, making it look like a kittenish smile. I was not surprised though if we talk about this man, he’s always the ‘playful’ type. Taking his words literally, I interrupted.

“Because you’re the open type who have many friends but I was the unfortunate lonely lass? Opposite attract. Yeah right, such great chemistry” Bitterly, I spat those words like poison and rolled my eyes. Crossing my arms and huffed, ‘an indirect jerk’ I thought.

His hands shook in the air and his eyes started to panic to refuse my statement. He did think of it but I do know it was unintentional. Still, it just meant he pitied me a few minutes ago. “N-no! Of course not!” He tried to explain.

Even I can’t decipher my complicated moods but him trying his best to clarify for the whole 20 minutes quite had an effect on me. Chuckling in a low volume in which he instantly noted, I still bothered to hide my smile by placing my palm to cover my lips. His face turned smug and teasing, and I knew what he meant so I rolled my eyes and denied it by shaking my head but now in a humorous intention.

“You laughed” His eyes grew wide, making me resist those dark brown eyes. It made me lost in track for a moment but good for me, he wasn’t quick enough to notice that. It wasn’t a lie after all when he said he received such compliments of him being so heavenly; I was indeed in heaven after having a glimpse of him.

Before I could further analyze anything and start being creepy, I coughed to distract myself and responded to him lazily. “What? Don’t people laugh?”

He raised his hand just enough for the waiter to see and proceed heading to our table. I’ve thought of denying his offer but since he had already called on, it was fine anyway. What’s the worse that could happen?

“one iced americano” he didn’t even take time to read the menu and passed it on to me. Noticing my look in confusion, he asked as if I was judging him again “What?”

“Really?” My tone dropped and sarcastically asked. “just an espresso please. Thank you” quickly scanning over the menu and told the the waiter my order, the man went back and did his job. I faced back to the guy in a tux and my expression changed as fast.  “An iced americano after it’s literally freezing outside?” His shoulders rose up and down to shrug but I could only chuckle in his mere response.

“Excuse me? I like Americano! chowa chowa~” We both sang in unison, cringing, though his eyes went larger as mine grew narrow because of the grin plastered on my face. 

“Wah! That was scary, how did you know that?”  that hit me in an effect different from what I wanted but honestly, the mood was a bit lighter than my experience in the past. 

“Someone never failed to tell me that every day” with a sigh, I placed my head at the top my palm and smiled to myself. Oh, how I missed to hear those words again. 

“May I know who?” He seemed enthusiastic considering the way he scooted closer comfortably. I knew I couldn’t get away with this kind of curiosity because he didn’t flinch a little when I gave him that oh-how-nosy-of-you look as if he stepped within the boundaries.

“I don’t know. I just know I talked to that someone.” 

Confusion filled the loudest silence and I wondered what was wrong with what I said. Pretty sure some people don’t know all the details in their life right? Is it needed to learn this kind of information? He froze with mouth agape and I blinked, hoping he’d get back to his senses. It scared me as I looked back to everything that happened. I felt guilty, what for?

“Are you dumb?” he deadpanned looked at me and thought as if that was the lamest joke he had ever heard. Unfortunately, everything was real. I mirrored his emotions causing him to stutter all over.  “I- what? Are you naive or were your memories taken away?!” He gasped so dramatically, not that I expected him not to. 

“Idiot, if my memories were taken away, I would’ve known.” I lift my upper lip and stared at him in disbelief. 

He cackled in response with his usual endearing laugh. “How would you know then if your memories were taken away?” Mimicking a cry, he can’t still hold his laughter back. Much more after I froze and let out a small ‘oh’ in realization. It gradually faded off and he flicked my forehead. “Idiot” he retorted my smug reply a while ago which made me scrunch my nose whilst leaving a playful pout, screaming the words ‘unfair’. “Cute” he mumbled lowly after seeing my face and it did made me look away for him not to notice the blush. He did though, my ears were beet red so he beamed a smile that I was only able to see in my peripheral vision. I didn’t take a peek of his whole look but I know I couldn’t resist to THAT.

As if the timing was perfect, the waiter came in with our little drinks that he decided to pay. We had quarrel over the payment that went on for almost 5 minutes. The waiter watched awkwardly and ended up receiving his instead of mines. While drinking each of our drinks, he opened up the conversation first.

“It’s unusual for you to” I placed my cup after his abrupt statement and tilted my head, asking him to go on.

“to what?”

“Well you know...” contemplating about his thoughts, he tried to sip on my drink to which I swatted away his hand. I raised my eyebrow in a bubbly manner and told him to quit around playing. “you smiling, it’s rare to see so” he brushed his hand dramatically as if he felt immense pain and replied.

“You don’t even know me?” I chortled at my comeback, twisting his words right back at him. The atmosphere was still friendly but the mood? Suddenly shifted into something serious I surrendered myself in the control I was striving to put up.

“I do know you”

I know it was meant as a joke but I’d like to believe half of it was directly true. Those eyes that pierced right through me once again had some sense of familiarity and belongingness. It’s as if I fled away from reality because everything was turning their backs on me, but he felt like home. It’s as if everything turned monotone but he was my only hope. It’s as if I used to ignore everyone but something makes me cling unto him. It’s as if I knew him but at the same time, I don’t. Was my misery too loud that it reached the heavens and pushed me into insanity? Or was he indeed someone I met? The presence reached through me even when he’s just staring. If I was asked just by the feeling of his existence, I know him, a hundred percent with no doubts. But in general? His physique and he in a tux were something new that made me convince myself he was a total stranger. Still, the thought itself isn’t as easy to shrug as it seemed. I would recklessly gaze into those eyes forever without knowing why. 

“There you are again” Clicking my tongue, I began to bounce back to earth. I tapped my fingers to a fast and mischievous rhythm to make it seem I was angry. He laid on his back, pressing on the chair to be in a comfortable position which I found creepily attractive. “Those eyes!” I pointed my fingers at his deep gaze that turned into a startled expression. ‘He thinks I’m a joke’, I thought. It wasn’t enough to get me riled up on my nerves though because if I was in his position, who wouldn’t think I was lowkey a bad flirt?

“So what should I do to stop your gawking? Close my eyes?”

“Much better” Favorably, this man doesn’t seem as bad as I thought he would be. He knows how to take a joke and accepts every word I say, whether it may be surprisingly good or blatantly messed up. Maybe we did just meet at the wrong step of the time. 

{TUESDAY}

“So how did the date go?” I groaned just after hearing my thousandth time being dumped, probably. 

Lia had the courage to call me and talk about it.  I’m sure she was hoping my ’supposed to be date’ at least liked me, which was so opposite, and in no terms do I want to see him again. We were too relaxed with Lia so everything I say, even though I tend to be mean, she knew it was a flaw in my personality that couldn’t be fixed. In fact, she was kind of fascinated with how I looked so innocent and honorable but has a hidden persona of aggressiveness behind the public. 

“Bloody hell, may the paradise sue me for what I will do shortly. Some witch needs an update.” I breathily recited my ‘chant’ to which she laughed so loud it could burst my ears and wake up my neighbors. I wasn’t on speaker, what would happen if I did?

“such a virago, bae!” I could just imagine her fanning her hands behind the phone with a teasing smile, mixed with nervousness. I heard her boyfriend’s voice along with Tienne, her partner’s younger sister. She was my favorite one so I decided to force her in turning on the video call.

As soon as she did, the young cute girl’s face lit up on my screen and I almost yell out a squeal. Lia knew damn well I love Tienne which is why she’d let her kid handle it.

“I missed you!” The 7-year-old fake cried which caused me to forget about my bad day and chuckle. She was playing with her usual favorite t-rex and a barbie, saying how barbie made the dinosaurs extinct using her big dream house car that brought pollution. This was so random and I honestly don’t know where she got such ideas. The most disturbing one so far was how she stated that dora was such a pick me and who acted blind because it was quirky. Kids weren’t supposed to know that, right?

“I missed you too, baby Tintin!” She isn’t a baby and in fact hates it when people calls her young, except for me though. I’m her favorite because I’m always with her when her so called parents are trying to have a date. Not that I would complain, I enjoy being with this lass.

The boyfriend arrived with an Oreo in hand as he waved after seeing me.

“Hey, hey shortcake. Long time no see!” He was in his usual long brown coat paired with a white polo, rolled-up sleeves and brown loose pants. Taking off the glasses he wore, he approached Tienne and smiled through the screen.

“Looks like the giant is dressed-up. How big of an effect Lia had on you for you to bother wearing such ‘boyfriend’ material outfit?” I rolled my eyes and he laughed once again, remembering high school days where I used to force him to wear decent clothings that doesn’t make him look like a rebel.

He groaned while smiling, partially tired at the fact that he had repeated the words that’ll come out of his mouth over several months. “Big time. I really love that woman” His eyes showed sincerities despite the joke I just gave. This blue haired guy does seriously love her.

I bitterly smiled and my hands twitched a bit after seeing such view. Of course he was my long time best friend, he knows what I’m feeling. Not missing an opportunity, he looked back at the screen and raised an eyebrow. “Jealous, aren’t we?” 

At that very moment, I did want to punch him through the screen. “Well at least tell your friend to show up before rejecting a girl he hasn’t seen yet” The boy seemed so amused in response that tears were coming out due to his uncontrollable laughter. 

“I showed him a picture of you before the blind date” and oh, was that my final straw of the day. He didn’t want to miss the expression so despite the hard laughs, he tried to take a peek at my reaction.

I was as red as a tomato, boiling. “Frick you! Rot in hell, you titan!” I slammed the table and hissed a bit due to the pain felt but I pouted to show how stressed I was.

“But you look pretty! Are you always going to believe on those ideas of yours?” The laughs were nothing closer to dying down. At that moment, he seemed as if he was close to bursting. “And you know what he said?” Placing his head atop his hand that was resting on his table, he asked me directly. Of course I knew the answer.

“Oh, she’s kinda not my type.” We sang in unison as if we shared the same braincell. The only difference was the aftertaste. He laughed harder, while my frown gets lower. 

“What a great day to ruin my date, boy. Got ‘ya self a lover and decided to ditch me whilst betrayin’ behind my back”. I slightly fell back on my seat comfortably and stared at the ceiling.

His laugh drowned after a few minutes and he spoke with a hint of seriousness “you look pretty smiling, I’ve always told you that shortcake.”

My eyes widened a bit with the sudden confession and looked through the screen, in which I saw no figure anymore. One of my eyebrow raised and my smile grew softer. He still do care about me. After all, I was like his little sister. The thought of it made me feel secured and contented.

Well not until I heard a few kisses through the call. “Oh dear gracious, not in front of a declined girl!”, I responded to which they could just let out a few laughs at my remark. And yes just like siblings, they are so fond of my misfortune.

“What took you so long, though?” I could tell that Lia waited for hours just to ask me a question she pondered on for so long. I knew what she meant but asked once again to ensure we got the same idea.

I hummed in question and saw her figure approaching the camera. “That rejected date of yours. What made you sit for several hours until late at night and arrive smiling?” Her man echoed the last words she had spoken like a broken record. He eyed me curiously and waited for me to speak up. Guess I have no choice when two of those orbs stare at me like hawks that are ever ready to bite when denied. I guess I can’t escape.

I tilted my head and accidentally leaked out my inner thoughts “Weird, I thought our talk only lasted for a few minutes” It was a moment before realization dawned unto me. They were as fast as how wind blows though, they caught unto it.

Lia clicked his tongue and smiled as the giant all-knowingly prolonged his words to make it seem like he got the idea. 

“It’s not what y’all think” I rolled my eyes and cleared the obvious suspicion their aura is channeling over to my house that is several miles away. 

“We didn’t say anything though”, Lia’s boy narrowed his eyes and looked at the mentioned girl who quickly agreed on his statement. “Unless, you thought of something”, he continued and emphasized the last word. A tiny glint of his eyes contrasted with his omniscient smirk that glowed on my screen.

I stared for a few seconds trying to find an excuse, but I was caught on the act. “Oh come on! Everybody thinks” I turned my back around and yielded in the tight battle.

“There ye go again, beatin’ ‘round the bush lady!” He sang as he and Lia both left the frame, leaving me and little Tienne alone.

I shook my head in disapproval however my thoughts were fixated unto Lia’s comment. ‘I smiled while arriving’, my heart beat rose quickly for a second and blamed it on my anemia. But then again, if I may have had quite the fun yesterday, maybe mister wasn’t so bad after all.

Forgetting I was still on the line, baby Tienne responded, “Are you in love?”

Instead of denying the question quickly, I decided to ask her as to stir my interest. “And what made you think that way?” My voice slightly raised its pitch as I was talking and trying my best to make a 7 year old kid understand how love even works; despite me not knowing anything about that at all. 

“That look, my brother looks at Lia that way. Your smile” she grinned sheepishly, looking more adorable than she already is. I was distracted by her gleaming eyes until I processed what she had just said. 

Grabbing a mirror, the papers on my desk flew and some fell down but all I could see was my replica staring like a red ball, making me look like someone who blew a balloon really hard. “Oh gosh, I look like exploding” my arm covered the prominent red blush that spread all over my face. 

Tienne giggled and remarked: “you’re weird”

{WEDNESDAY}

I hated snows, much especially on first snows. Ask me for the reasons? Not a good idea. I could only reply with a ‘maybe I was rejected after a couple of supposedly romantic confessions during snow’ or a ‘maybe because I was still currently refused by a guy the moment the first snowflakes fell.’ I stared at the empty park and sighed much more heavily compared to the past.

I opened my note and jotted down a single word: snow. The lingering feeling of coldness touching my skin as I try my best to stay warm reminds me of my past days, trying to desperately breathe in a situation I can’t change. The heavy feeling that grows as light as how its flakes fall. Elegantly in slow motion, if I must describe. Yet it’s temperature is affecting me in a way it doesn’t intend to. Generally, me and snows are simply incompatible. Maybe fate doesn’t follow. 

I stepped back and felt my foot sink deeper into the pile of white cotton. It sucked my leg mesmerizingly but I got back on track as soon as I heard a sound behind me. I placed my guard up and spun around cautiously just to see a playful smile in front of my eyes. I flinched once in surprise, gasped in shocked, and blinked in disbelief. 

“Again?!” My brain was unable to process the flow of events as my fingers pointed to the same mister that was in my head for the past few days. 

“Ah, fate’s dirty works” his shoulders rose as he chuckled and stared at the enchanting view that sat in front of us. Grabbing his camera, he clicked on the button and took a look at his shot. Tilting it sideways, I could only hold on my scarf to avoid slipping into his eyes and focus on the thing he had shown me. After a little peek of a masterpiece, I smiled before replying.

“Again with you and your photographs.”

“I love my shots, this way I could never forget about how such beauty gleams on moonlight or even the sunshine rays. I’m a bit picky, so I believe everything that is stored here is a work of art” He thought deeply and held his camera tighter with deep passion, as if embracing it to heart.

“So each shot you take also depends on your preference?” He handed me the camera and for the first time in the day, we made eye contact. I quickly diverted my gaze on the pictures and swipe through them as he explained.

“I only remember those I love,” past I scrolled on a girl looking more likely to be in her mid 30s. Same smile he wore and same eyes they glowed, I could presumably say it’s her sister with no doubt. “Those I admire,” the next that came in the talk was a bunch of his idols. Some I knew, some I don’t. “And those I’m most interested in” ‘Hobbies’, my inner tone speaking out appeared excited than expected. 

And yet, I was met with a picture of a girl on a white loose dress under the shimmering night sky. Her expression wincing - could also be taken as squinting - I wasn’t too sure what prompted her to have so. May it be the sudden fright she must have had felt, the new feeling rushing down her veins, or simply the strong light of the camera that could’ve blinded her eyes. She was a reflection of me, simply me, during the day we first met. Under the streetlight, the moment he and I closed our distance and stared at the other. The only moment I was able to get sidetracked away from my depressive and monotone months. Maybe there was light, not from the camera nor the streetlight, but from him.

My head unconsciously tilted upwards as to clear what he was trying to say.

“Y/n, I want to know more about you.”

Those few minutes staring unto his eyes, were sucking me like hours. Absorbed and indulged, this scene was deeply imprinted on my mind when I don’t want it to. ‘You can’t be interested in people you had just met, much especially when you know it’s more than curiosity’, this rained on Korea within my mind’s void. Though repeated like a desperate prayer, my mind forgets to remind me that he was bad idea. One word of his, I pause. One step of his, my world stops. One look of his, it continues spinning once again, but now with the thought of progressing the years along with him. Just like how my mind swiftly swings, I feel the sense of slow motion every time he comes but fast forwarded whenever I think about myself, both of us. Fast forward, wherein I’d be holding his hand. Fast forward in time wherein he’d caress me with affection along with those deep brown eyes. 

Fidgeting my fingers, I loosened one arm and placed it on my side near him. His eyes trailed unto my now lowered head that still continued staring on the pictures. I gulped and hesitated as I slowly gave him back the camera while avoiding eye contact. “I hate snow”, a mumble was all I could utter. Hoping I was hidden on the red scarf, my mind was lost in thoughts once again.

Winter, I always feel something around this time of the year. For no reason, a forlorn’s heart is wretched deep in the grave. In ordinarily suffocating, a burdened body carrying her soul. Inexplicably hopeless,  determined - if I must sugarcoat the word - to the point that I am so good at making things out of nothing. 

Instead of bewilderment passing through his eyes, he looked up and agreed. “Yeah”, breathily he spoke. He knew what was going on my mind once again. Was I enchanted in seeing him or was I enchanted just because he was like a reflection I didn’t need to open up to for him to understand?

Nonetheless, I could feel him softly smiling beside me as he took notice of my hand creeping up on his jacket, holding unto it discreetly. He knew I still wanted him to stay, despite the contrasting effect I placed on my words and the actions of pushing him away. 

A few minutes then, he stood and I opened my eyes to face him. Slight surprise was evident in my face, much more after he held out his hand. “Let’s go.”

“Where to?” I stuttered along my words. With the same smile, he declared his statement like a promise;

“Let’s go make snowy days your favorite time of the year.”

“Hey,” he spoke casually but prolonged his words just enough to make me wonder why he had that tone as he spoke. Looking almost immediately, he replied and looked into my eyes with a contemplating face, “do you believe in love at first sight?”

My eyes slightly widened and he smiled as he noticed the surprised look on my face. After all, I thought my insanity was way too one sided. “So you felt it”, My lips turned downward as my eyebrows went upward, showing an expression of shrugging the thought away, despite internally taking it to heart. 

He slowed down the car on a red light and adjusted himself on his seat. “Well, not exactly.” He spoke in a sing-song tone before continuing as to not leave me hanging on his thoughts. “Mine was love at first sight, yours is the idea of soulmates”

I cracked a laugh absentmindedly as he tried to remember which part of his statement deserved a slight mockery. “I did feel like I know you, but never did the thought of being connected to one another, or at least whatever anyone calls that, came into my mind” I looked away from his deep eyes staring into me and signaled him to start the car as the streetlight showed the color green. A part of me was also hoping it would act as a diversion to stop the unnecessary talk.

Being the bubble gum he was, he was a traditional man who took ‘get to know a woman first’ way too literally, maybe even too much. “So you don’t believe in that concept?” He thought to himself, but curiosity made him want a response from me. I could object to his actions quickly, but his assumptions were right. 

“Correction mister, it does not exist.”, I confidently spoke

“And what in the world made you dreadfully oppose to this view?”, he retorted

Another assumption, but he was right and I couldn’t bring myself to talk back again. I pointed my finger at the switches and complicated buttons I’ve seen on his side, to express that I wanted to lower the window. He simply pressed on the mentioned, particularly to my liking. Weird, I thought he’d only lower it a little. 

I leaned my head outside and closed my eyes to take a moment before finally responding after a sigh. “People come and go. None are perfectly suited for each other, if that’s how its definition goes.”

He tilted his head, not in agreement but also not against my thoughts. Therefore, I took it as a moment to continue my explanation. “A soulmate is simply a word people perceive just for reassurance. If one’s single, then his or her so called soulmate will appear soon in the perfect time. That’s what they all say, but it simply is thought just to avoid the fear of being alone, disappointment and other negative aspects that they think could possibly affect their quality of life. But if they’re taken then broke up, just like how typical couples are fated to die down, they’d also call the same plea for self-encouragement that a perfect man would miraculously appear in their life like some hero in a romance drama.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disapproval as I continued speaking in disgust, “it’s sick.”

I could feel him staring straight at me so I did as well to see what he could reply after my utterance. His expression agape, leaving him speechless when I knew he initially had a speech prepared. The sudden silence made me tense up quicker than I thought, so I cleared my throat to bring him back to earth. “What?” I cursed myself mentally for breaking the eye contact first, but thank the heavens it saved my life. “Mister!”

My voice successfully knocked some sense out of him as his eyes trailed to where my eyes were directed at. His expression turned into something beyond panic and surprise, as he quickly pulled the brakes at a red light.

Our bodies bounced back like fishes off sea and I could feel my heartbeat racing faster than when I had first met him. This is when I knew it was a really strong feeling. “Are you planning to kill me?!” I exasperatedly threw my hands in the air.

He could only chuckle after a moment of calming the adrenaline rush we’ve felt and finally eased up before explaining himself, which was very unnecessary given the situation we’re in.

“Gosh, you are breathtaking” he bit his tongue as he grinned playfully. He’s really joking at a time like this? Now, I was the one who had my jaw dropped, not because of confusion but due to incredulity. Blinking twice to see if he wanted to retract his words, it was of no use. “It made me almost ran the red.” 

“No, but really, that rap performance you gave a while ago seemed too personal.”, he thought and rapidly changed the topic.

“If personal, why pry?” I spoke in a deadpan tone because even if my heart rate had calmed down, my brain wasn’t able to process what had happened if I had not looked down the road. “Besides, there is no such thing as soulmates. It’s just a bunch of coincidences to keep the hopes of people up. They are blatantly yet stupidly and unknowingly lying to themselves.”

“Well, I beg to disagree, young missy.” His arms leaned unto the wheel and he slightly intertwined his fingers to properly refute my baseless explanations. “Soulmates are real, just like you and I.” His ego rose as I groaned in annoyance. I actually adjusted myself to hear his opinion, just to take a false assumption from him. He chuckled and nudged me as a sign that he’ll finally be proper for once. Well, thankfully he did. 

“All jokes aside, there are people that are meant to be for each other. No matter how life brings them down, fate would still tie them together with no escape.”

“See how the world toys with people?”, I bitterly questioned.

“Yes, but I find that very interesting when it comes to the idea of soulmates. The way it makes people feel like the person they’d end up with is the only right one after all the wrongs they’ve seen before. That’s what makes it special. There’s no “toying” present; it’s simply fate.”, he spoke lightly as if whispering while showing his eye-smile.

“That’s too dramatic and vague by the way”, I casually critiqued

“Vague.” He looked up for a while after echoing my words and thought, “maybe it’s because second chances are part of my beliefs. With no factual explanations based on science, It seemed like it’s one with me.”

“Directly, you’re trying to say you just believe in it. That’s it.” I tried to help him get out with this ‘beating around the bush’ behavior I dislike.

“Maybe or maybe not.”, I rolled my eyes again in response. “The world is more than what we see. And in this world, we may have not known that there are people destined to be with others and encountered them in their past lives. Maybe some kind of resurrection built by deep affection, if I must say. A second chance brought by fate, a second chance that was persuaded to arrive because of how intense the relationship or bond is. I believe in those. With equal yearning felt by each other, nothing is impossible, y’know?”

He looked very lost in his words and I didn’t know when to interrupt. As if by ‘fate’, he finally paused for a moment to look at me. Except, I didn’t know what to respond to his sayings. Both of our ideas aren’t even scientifically proven or factual, they are just metaphorical statements that aren’t needed to be spoken because none of these could change anything at all. People couldn’t see and hear, nor would the heavens comply with our contrasting requests. Yet, the desperate aggression we know we’ve felt despite our calming and frisky voices, was quite personal. Why were we so eager to insist our perspectives? His eye smile almost made me forget how quickly he’d react whenever I spoke my side and how his eyebrows would furrow in seemingly disappointment because I don’t get his.

Confrontation wasn’t my side though, so I played along with his ‘dodging’ game. “The concepts of soulmates doesn’t only revolve in second chances though, that example was oddly specific”, I chuckled to not appear crystal clear.

Instead of a quick response or interruption like he’d usually do, he instead paused again before letting out a hesitant titter. My eyes scanned through his face and saw him gulped, which unconsciously made me feel awkward as well because of how uncomfortable he seemed in a second. “I mean- A situation, I guess. Just to expand and make it a whole lot clearer. Yeah.” The volume of his voice gradually decreased as I echoed his last word. Now, it was my time to clear my throat. 

Acting as if I was admiring the scenery during the car ride, he halted after a few minutes. We ended up on a little street and I was caught off guard when he opened my side of the car door. It must’ve meant we already had reached our destination. Why is he taking me here? Still, there’s something that always keeps me hanging unto him. Maybe he wasn’t the only one stricken by curiosity. 

He beckoned me to enter and I trailed behind his back. There, we entered a peaceful and little home with red dreamcatchers on the right side of the interior wall. What caught my eye though was the piled books in the shelves with a man’s name on it, in which I assumed belonged to his. I never knew he was the type to easily get immersed with books; talk about a perfect guy. Unfortunate was I to say that even if he had courted me, we were characters predestined on an asymmetrical time flow. 

As soon as I entered the house, I could still feel the cold air from outside. It was as if it had been long since someone visited here because the air warmers seemed broken. Don’t get me wrong though, the surroundings was clean - way too clean for my liking, way too clean to be true. This flawless orderliness would only be possible if one had come here to sweep every minute as there is an absence of even a speck of dust. But then again, it was cold.

 I approached the stair rail beside me and hung my red scarf before proceeding to the living room. “Coffee or tea?” The mister asked while facing towards the kitchen. 

“Do you have juice?” Both of my eyebrows rose and my mind hesitated whether that was an appropriate thing to ask. Hoping it did not make me look demanding, I waited for his reply.

“Sure”, he timidly spoke and gave me a smile once again. However, I noticed his shilly-shally to leave me out of his sight.

 “I’m fine”, I chuckled as he also replied with one. I was mistaken though, as he still seemed to ask me something on his mind but decided to bite his tongue for it may look weird. Delaying his steps, his words trailed slowly as the volume gradually decreased. “Where..?”

“Maybe in the upper cabinet beside the refrigerator”, I tittered at the thought of him not knowing where the powdered juice in his home is. 

A hint of surprise following mines gave me reassurance that I was right. I decided to scroll my eyes along the album that was almost unnoticeably placed under the table with only a page hanging off in the corner of my sight. It was normally something others would undoubtedly ignore but everything about him struck my curiosity; even if it’s merely something related to him. Without hesitation, I took a closer look at it and unintentionally had it up in my lap as I scanned the pictures. 

There, a little kid around 4 or 6 years old is sitting in a twin-sized bed along with a beautiful lady who had her arm wrapped around his son’s shoulder. The ring on my hand touched the picture’s texture as I brought out the photo from the memory book to determine the uncanny sight. In one look, it resembled a family in the mid 1990s that would make one sense jealousy in themselves because this published a dream almost none could reach. Happy and rich, full of excitement. However, blink and take a second look, one could notice the indifference present in the face of the little boy. The charisma the mother exhibited overpowered the kid to paint a happy picture that would please everyone’s eyes. But the latter’s smile was way crooked, showing uneven proportions that should’ve been aligned with his eye. The brown orbs that looked ever beautiful was isolated from the look he wanted others to perceive. It was metaphorically flat and literally dull. Though if the smile was only looked solely, it seemed as if he was in a manic state. 

My head started to lean near the picture slowly to view the sight that gradually became horrid. The traumatizing scene could easily influence such an apparently unfaltering mood. If invisible blood from the ones you were forced to kill spilled out from those guilty, innocent, and pitiful eyes, appeared as a picture; no doubt it would be this.

“That’s me when I was 6, year 2006 along with mom”, Mister came back with two containers in hand, one’s a teacup, the other’s a tall cup. Hesitation was evident in his last word but I flinched almost too obviously that I knew I was guilty yet persuaded myself that invading a family treasure would be fine without asking for a proper permission because I’m scared of receiving a single ‘no’. I sighed mentally at my idea of being nosy when it comes to other people’s business. Might be a red flag, but what can I do when my life’s too boring for me to get invested at?

However, I couldn’t quite decipher what truly disturbed me in hearing his response; whether it was his thoughts of me suddenly opening a personal object, this guy was the same kid who used to have an awful smile and had glasses on his twin-sized bed, him looking quite uncomfortable talking about his mother, the fact that the pictures were old yet they only had bought a shiny new album recently, the set up was very much around the nineties yet he was born in 2000, or the idea that I had so many ideas when it comes to him because I unusually, and very much weirdly, am so concerned about his life and perceptions about him. Nope, definitely (hopefully) not the last one.

My eyes awkwardly blinked twice and I could feel my cheeks heating up with a slight tint of pink. Clearing my throat before anything could get worse, I chose to give a remark regarding the second to the last question. “Vintage. Your family’s on the traditional side?”

“You could say that”, he spoke while slowly dragging himself near me with a sharp breath. I unconsciously stiffened up for a moment, glad he didn’t noticed it this time. His finger moved through the album and pointed at the little kid with glasses. Following a chuckle, he added “biggest plot twist in my life”

I looked away at the book for a moment to think before I responded with a dramatic gasp, “I feel like I’m looking at two different people”

His eyes met with mine and he laughed so heavenly while clapping his hands. It slowly died down and he shrugged along my disbelief. “I can’t believe that’s me either. Maybe it’s the ‘mom’s effect”

“Mom’s effect?”

He hummed and replied, “the trauma maker”

I bitterly giggled as I could relate to him this time. “Then it’s the dad effect for me” Looking towards him to show I’m ready to listen, I nudged him slightly. “You start, I finish”

“Ah, but the finishing touch is the highlight!”

“Then I appreciate getting the spotlight, mister” I slyly stated while narrowing my eyes, to which he responded with eyes rolled.

“Hwang Hyunjin” 

“Ohh,” I teasingly reacted while showing my empty ring finger “You haven’t told me your story yet and now we’re on a name basis?”

“Yes, a name basis. Not on a first name basis” he slowly pronounced each word to highlight the bitter truth, along while pointing his finger straight at me. He then held my hand and it caused my eyes to slowly land on them just to see him place it back on my side. I couldn’t utter a word or maybe I simply chose to refuse. My jaw was left dropped as he shook his head with playful disappointment before turning his back at me. Talk about having a full army attack you, unarmored.

“You?!” My British accent showed up on the worst timing possible. Though I could say it added a more comedic touch in my skit. I guess living in London for a few years just to avoid a father’s tantrum isn’t so bad after all. “You, of all people, chose to ignore me? Nobody could resist this beauty, I daresay” I stopped after a few tracks after his sudden turn. His face were a few inches away and I was startled for quite a bit. Still, it doesn’t mean that the zoom in wasn’t humorous. He’s still a fine man though, he didn’t waste much of his cool points. 

“Unfortunately darling, I was called a nobody in my family. Does that count?” He questioned to add a risible scene in my play. Oh, he is a whimsical man for sure. It bewilders my mind pretty bit to think that there are people out there that isn’t entertained by him. Either it’s my broken sense of humor or theirs, he’s got something that makes a person very intrigued.

He turned his back once again so I grabbed his hand and now it was I who made him surprised. “You still can’t get away with this.” My smile glimmered but my eyes remained determined “tell me your story,” I whispered.

His smile dropped for a moment but he sat first on the sofa. Patting it twice, I followed him soon after. “I wasn’t this type of person initially”, he spoke to break the silence.

“On the picture or the one I’m facing right now?” My body slightly leaned right to look towards him as I laced both of my hands and placing them atop my lap.

“Which do you prefer?” The tone was so like — well, him but the question may appear serious if taken on a different note. Who’s to say I can’t like both?

“Can I assume you meant you weren’t the type to open up to people?” A smirk was plastered on my face but it can’t stop there. I gave him a teeny wink, which I knew he’d notice immediately given he’s attracted to details. I hope ‘attracted’ was the accurate word, not obsessed. It makes me shudder to think he was made the latter, if ever, because of his own family. 

“Unbelievable, miss. Just-“ he chuckled before continuing “You’re unbelievable” It can be taken in only two perspectives. The first one would be a rude tone and the second could be taken as a compliment. Not only does he have a great sense of humor, but he was mysterious as well. No matter what kind of emotions he’d express, I don’t think anyone ever had the chance to pass through his walls of mind.

“What can I say? According to my father, I am a simpleton. And I agree. I look at things very simple and even when it comes to people! Everyone either likes me or hates me, no in between. And as for our case,” I pointed at him and myself before rapidly switching sides of my finger to show the unity and placed it back on my lap. “I think we’re far enough from hatred”, I simpered.

“You need to stop making yourself special” he sipped from his cup after lifting it up for cheers.

“I am special” I responded to his greetings.

“I dreadfully wish I could deny that” He clicked his tongue after his reply. He muttered the words to himself, I assume, because of its volume. Yet I also do believe it was meant to reach me given the silence afterwards as if he was waiting for me.

“What’s stopping you?” I gave out a short chuckle, somewhat similar to his which made me slightly alarmed. Truly, I am not fond of him, am I?

“The fact that you are”

A swish of the wind passed by as I stopped for a moment, “Oh, a smooth talker you are. I despise you.”

“Well then, here ya go.” He waved his hands towards me, hinting that he got through me for a split second. “You got a past!” He gasped dramatically.

“If you think you can get away from you explaining your past, then you’re wrong. Quit the delay, mister”

“Pressuring me just after you know my name? How fierce. I like that in a girl.” I simply rolled my eyes and let out a groan before he showed a teeny smile and continued.

The car ride took another few 30 minutes going home but I felt like we’ve been going on a loop for several hours. The ride home was eerily silent, a clear contrast compared to the way to his place. And it’s not sadness I’m feeling right now, but pity and confusion. He discussed his past using his mother’s perspective and words, which made him insecure and stopped me from asking how he felt. His mother was in control of him after all; his eyes, his mouth, and his skin acted as if they were reflections of his mother’s view of an epitome of an obedient son.

He warned me that I’d view him differently if I heard his story, that I’d be disgusted and disappointed of how he had the right to live and laugh after he used to be at an awful state with his mother, thinking he never deserved to do so. 

I got off the car after the slight hesitation and bit my lip before I bid goodbye. I felt a slight tinge of pain because I thought his eyes would peer through mine, trying to tone it with an ‘I told you so.’ Except, I never got to meet his eyes at the end of the day, leaving me frozen still as he left without uttering a word.

I sighed and went straight to bed soon after while rethinking everything that had just happened. I never felt disgusted, not one thought of leaving him had run across my mind. In fact, maybe a part of me wanted him to love his self and see the beauty I’m seeing as I wish to view those eyes for eternity. It was until the moment that I have concluded the night; Uh oh, I’m falling in love with Hwang Hyunjin.

{THURSDAY)

I woke up in a messy state. I could hear faint ringing coming from my ears as my head start to hurt a bit. I didn’t know where this slight pain came from but I presumed the reason was because I couldn’t sleep well yesterday. There were mainly two reasons and a suspect. For one, I couldn’t sleep as I thought I had concluded yesterday that I love a guy I recently met. Second, I couldn’t sleep because I debated that these feelings weren’t real and I was simply getting distracted from the darkness that swooped me days ago. I am a smart woman and I know for sure the most stupid thing a person can do is romantically trusting a guy. But all these reasons only have one suspect, and out of all, it had to be Hwang Hyunjin. And oh, how it torments my mind upon realizing I can’t place the words ‘just’ and him on the same sentence. I can’t belittle him at all; he has that face, humor, smile, words, and understanding for me that can’t put me at ease. He makes me so giddy but I feel comfortable in his presence. Really, what is he and what is it he’s making me feel?

As an instinct, I went out and reached for my phone before I was stopped at a sudden thought that he still was a stranger to me. I mentally cursed upon remembering I don’t even have his number yet. All I have is a name and his past that gives me no leads about his whereabouts. ‘Too much for true love, my ass.’ I sighed, rolled my eyes, and shook the negative feeling away. It was nothing, I was sad and heartbroken. It could be thought of as a one-night-stand without all the sexual contact. It’s temporary, just how love should be. Non-draining, non-distracting, and unattached. It’s a way to actually protect one’s heart than laying it out in full vulnerability.

I stood on my feet and took a shower. Just like an innocent party night out, I hoped to clear my mind alone in a cafè as I have not too many friends to go together with.

If I were to earn a dollar for every sigh that escapes my lips, I’d become a millionaire overnight. I gave myself a mental facepalm as I stood in front of the same cafe I once met Hyunjin. It was not to clear my mind but rather to fill my mind with him again. I was teeny hoping he’d be here, assuming it’s his usual spot. But my trail of thought and clear flowery daydreaming was interrupted as I’ve seen frightened eyes shot at me. The staffs inside stared at me in terror and some of the customers oddly peered as if asking for proper verification from the others that they’ve seen right. With gaping mouths and frozen eyes, one of them brazenly marched forward to me. It was an eerie sight that I couldn’t bear to overcome, even when I had the feeling I was overthinking the situations again. I could feel myself shaking that I had to quickly turn around. 

Much to my thanks, someone grabbed ahold of me and took me to a quiet alley with not much of people but had breathtaking scenes. I was about to scream until I saw a familiar face holding his finger up as an act to shush me up. My hands were still practically shaking at the sudden anxiety that stroked me in day and my thoughts raced back and forth until my mind couldn’t keep up with it anymore. The edges of my eyes used to appear soft like the ground’s surface softening in rain until the tears were now brimming my eyes. Gladly, it can be seen as some sort of a splash; strong and speedy. But again, Hyunjin was able to notice such and tried to calm me down. He was almost embracing me with his palms resting atop the knuckles of my closed hands. He didn’t say a word except slow hush sounds as his thumb ran circles that eased my shakiness. I wasn’t even completely enveloped in his arms but it felt so warm because the soft tone of his humming reached through me that it almost felt like he whispered sweet nothings. My eyes were closed shut so I couldn’t see, could barely hear, and yet his presence, merely his presence, was enough to calm me down.

“Hyunjin…” I weakly spoke out and he reassuringly replied,

“I’m here.”

It took me a several minutes before I was able to calm down and when I did, I was aware of his presence. My breath hitched and I started to fix my dress; a hint of awkwardness present within the air.

“So… Were you just about to enter the cafè?” I cleared my throat and asked. It seemed like a casual question but I looked up to him in little hopes before giving a follow-up in a low volume almost he couldn’t hear. “Or did you have other plans?”

Hyunjin was an attentive guy, and I thought he was much more thoughtful on the details that involved me. But he shrugged off the last part because it seemed out of the place without context.  “Yes, it’s my go-to place,” he tried to lighten up the mood when he showed his prince-like smile everyone would swoon over.

My cheeks were heated up with his response. Of course! After all, I did want to enter this cafè because I thought I’d see him. It’s totally understandable it would be left one-sided. I wanted the ground to swallow me up as I thought he was interested in seeing me too. What was wrong with me?

In panic, I hurriedly spoke and gradually stepped back until I wanted him out of my sight “Right, right! I’m so so sorry I interrupted your day. I wanted to enter the cafè too, I mean just because the food taste good and I love the ambience. It’s such a nice place, isn’t it? Totally, I mean, that is solely why you wanted to go here in the first place.. right? Of course, glad our tastes match! I’m really sorry, now you could go on and continue your day because I will now take my leave-“

“And I also wanted to see you”

Oh.

He added and held my wrist with a slightly shocked expression as well that I had to leave immediately. The stiffness of my body then started to soften up as well before I breathed out another sigh and feebly agreed, “I did too.” A few seconds is what it takes to look into each other’s eyes and realize that we’re thinking the same thing. However, he caught me off-guard today. “Come with me, y/n.” Honestly, I hesitated. Does it feel right to entrust myself in the arms of this guy? Does he feel right? Rationality would reject his offer, but my eyes landed on his. It’s those eyes again. It’s what reminds me of how much great of a guy he’s been and how I could imagine myself in his company. Now the question shifts and all I could ask is “How could I say no to that?”

{FRIDAY}

Yesterday was great, too great for my liking. It made me forget how it went very well, made me ignore the fact that the universe punishes beings at the end of the day. I remembered eating strawberry ice creams, a spoon for two. We went watching sunsets in the dock after experiencing a short cruise at night. The last thing I could recall was plopping flat on the sheets as I stared at his wide smile that I realized made his eyes tiny. Such a warming eye-smile. That upwards curve shaped by his pink-tinted lips was the first feature in the moment wherein I looked at anything first before his brown eyes. That’s when I knew he was more than just first impressions. There were greater adventures with him than subtly looking in those eyes. And just as I was about to decide to know him better, he left with no word. I woke up, all alone.

The ringing of the phone brought me back to my senses. I answered the call and I heard Lia on the end of the phone, “I honestly don’t know other ways to tell you the truth y/n, he’s not answering, he will never answer because whoever this is you’re telling me to call, the number is not available. It’s gone, y/n. It’s gone.” My hands tapped furiously at the phone for a short while before I hastily replied and dropped the phone call “It’s not right. Something’s wrong, y-you’re calling the wrong phone number and I know I can’t reach him too on my cell but we were just sleeping together last night.”

Another ring came up but I decided to ignore it. I quickly showered that I did not even remembered if I washed my hair. All I know was that I changed into the clothes I found first on the cabinet and made sure to bring my phone. I strolled through the same streets and places we went while finally calling back Lia. 13 missed calls. My hands gripped tighter on the phone and prayed it was good news. 

“Sleeping together? What just- how did-?” I interrupted her and spoke, “We were so tired after grabbing strawberry ice creams, strolling on the docks, going on a short cruise, that we went to sleep and I could barely remember anything afterwards.” I raised my voice in panic, almost-sounding like I panted. I sighed. And it was silence after silence to recollect my thoughts. In a low volume, I asked “You don’t think something bad happened to him, right?” Lia clicked her tongue in frustration and groaned, “And you are worried about that?! Hell y/n, for all we know, this guy could have left you! He played you, y/n. Why are we being so naive?” 

“He did not, Lia” I emphasized, “You don’t even know this guy”

“And you don’t too! You met him a few days and now you’re head over heels for him. I am not terrified of what’s happening to him, I am scared of you. What is all this about? Aside from the fear of you getting hurt, you are acting almost obsessive with a man you barely met. Get your senses back, this is not you”

“What do you know?” I mumbled and it was enough to make Lia stop rambling. There was more to it than just a question, and she knows.

Her boyfriend sighed and asked a question that somehow ignited a larger fire than before, contrary to his intentions. “We don’t even have cruises that last as short as one night. Hell, is there even one that runs faster than less than a day?”

It was silent again. I could hear Lia pause but it had a different vibe today. I knew, she thought, and he did too. But none of them were right, I met him. I know I did. “This is ridiculous” I scoff, “Are you saying I’m lying?”

“No, we could never! We trust you.. but with everything going on in your life, you know.. You might have not took it well” Lia’s boyfriend carefully chose his words.

However, I insisted. “Or implying I’m hallucinating” And again, it was silent. I shook my head and continued “I don’t know what to say. This is crazy, I can’t. This is just-“ “and this, all of what’s happening, is crazy!” Lia spoke before she was shushed out by her boyfriend again but I dropped the call. 

Why do they always think ahead of me? Back when I independently chose my course, they’d hesitate. When I say I finally found something good for me, they’d doubt. When I feel hurt over comments of other people, they’d laugh. And now they think I’m insane. Well, they might be right; I feel insane because I don’t know what to believe anymore. This guy, one who truly understood me, is nowhere to be found and he could be playing me like what Lia mentioned. I am scared, not because of what could have happened to him but what would happen to me. I am selfish. I feel alone. I’m standing alone. It’s scary.  

I ran back to his place and rang the bell. I could feel sweat trickling down my hands and I feel cold. He would be here, wouldn’t he? Almost a minute later, the door opened. And it was to my delight until I saw an unfamiliar face. The girl looked a few years older than him that it made me sigh. I never knew he was into women older than him. Guess I didn’t know him after all.

She smiled sheepishly along with her pretty features. “Hi, I’m Sana. Sorry I don’t know how these introduction things work. But I just moved here, I doubt a neighbor would immediately want to say hello. Would you?” She extended her arm. I misunderstood her and never was I happy in my life that I was wrong. 

“Oh no, I’m finding a guy in this area. He was in this place.” “Ah! I do remember this was used by a man.” Her voice echoed throughout the hall as she seemed to grab something by the end of the table “The landlady insisted this might belong to its owner. I don’t really mind, but seeing you’re finding him, you might be a good choice.”

The door closed and I held the old phone she handed over. There was still dust on the edges of the screen that I assumed it was used a really long time ago. I unlocked the phone but it had no lock at all. Was this intentionally left behind for me? Curiosity wrapped me up as soon a recording was shown on the screen. I couldn’t wait to hear it so as soon as I rode the bus, I took out my earphones and tapped on the play button.

It was odd. He talked almost as if he was telling a children’s story because according to him, it went by like a fantasy. In a first person point of view, he started the tale with a man and a woman, in their teen years. The man was an aspiring dancer, filled with his passion for music. But there were obstacles — pressure, doubts, and insecurities. That’s how he ended up on the dock overlooking the shore and sunsets, the same place wherein he was saved from his thoughts of disappearing into thin air by a woman. He was an observant guy and knew from one glance that she was considered average. She wore outfits that looked like they were taken hurriedly for the sake of sale day and a stylish bag, so out of the whole aesthetic that it seemed like it was only given to her as a gift. But it was different at this moment. After one long pause and a closer stare, she looked the prettiest in his eyes. One thing that ironically brightened his day was indulging in her downward eyes which emitted great concern. He could only, after everything, smile. The girl visited him continuously but only at sunsets due to both of their busy schedules. It so happened that she stood in the dock also because she needed a breather, unknowingly saving a life as well. The girl approached him and days turned into a whole week of them getting to have fun together. They were each other’s rest and they lived every minute of being together. They knew nothing of their relationship, whether it was intimate or platonic, but they enjoyed the days. However, the days were numbered. The girl saw him no more.

“Maybe I needed you too. I just needed seven more hours to speak with you.” The words from the audio strayed further away from the storyline, leaving me confused. “The day you weren’t able to come back because you were busy, I stood still like the waves coming back to the shore. It’s this ache I feel after I had realized that I can’t escape; I will always go back to the same place. You touched my life, and I am not selfish enough to tell you that you haven’t changed it quite yet because you had done more than I could ever do. You kept trying and trying. I was losing hope, I’m sorry. By the time you have received this message, I’m probably not with you today, though I at least hope it wouldn’t take years for this to reach you.” I could hear his bittersweet chuckle at the end, “I just wanted to express how grateful I am to spend my remaining time with you. I wish to live at least just seven days with you to make up for my absence, is it a difficult request?”

No, this is not just a fictional story anymore. My thoughts were interrupted by the ring of my phone and I subconsciously answered it and placed it on my ear as if by instinct, completely spacing out. “Hey.” Hwang Hyunjin. That voice, the same one that showed me both this heart-wrenching delusions and reality. I could feel him through the phone. I could imagine his eyes, and for the first time in 5 days of meeting him, I could vividly remember his nose, lips, and the little mole under his left eye. “I didn't expect the recording to reach you several years after."

"Find me in the usual spot, yeah?”

I looked up and realized it was closer to dark that the driver had even slept on my destination. I must have been spacing out for several hours by now. I remembered it, plain as day. And if I’m not mistaken, we only have seven hours left before he leaves me. I couldn’t waste more time trying to count the hours left so I immediately went down and crossed the dock. I spotted his figure from afar; tall, blonde guy. He turned back and our eyes met. Now I could recognize him better as I ran closer to him.

How could I had ever forgotten about him? He was my first love, the reason why I feel so alone after all these years, why I felt so empty in Yuna’s wedding, why I could feel such strong connection between us. This must be why he was in a tux the moment I met him, as it was the last image of him I've remembered in his coffin. All this time, Hwang Hyunjin, the story was about us. 

“Are you real?” I sniffed and until then, tears started streaming down my face. I can’t breathe. I feel choked by my own tears and I can sense my heart breaking. My body started feeling so sore because of this immense pain in my heart and I wonder if he’s being so oblivious about it as this, everything, is just so mean. Can he hear my heart crashing?

He only responded with a smile, “I am if you want me to. Anything’s possible, isn’t it?” He reached for my hand and started caressing it gently. God, I could still feel him. So near, yet so far. It’s like he’s here, but isn’t. “Just like how you changed my mind that time.”

I threw my hand away from his hold and took a step back. “So this is why you've never met my friends today, why I was the only one who could see you, why I don't understand you fully, why those people in the café looked at me like I was crazy. Were you real after your death? How could you simply disappear, Hyunjin? Not only a moment ago but also in the past! That was so one-sided. You were breaking my heart. Was that your plan all along? During that sunset, did you mean to grab my attention with those eyes of yours, share your thoughts that changed my whole life, and leave me just to suffer all alone? We weren’t even in pain together, Hyun! I felt great with you and you told me you did find a friend in me. We felt so isolated, but wasn’t that…before us?” My eyes moved downward as I continued without letting him speak, “Or was that just me?” Chuckling in bitter as I spoke with poison, “Right, right. It could’ve just been me! You were suffering so bad and I didn’t even notice it. I may had fun, but it wasn’t enough to make you change your decision that one time I wasn’t around.” I stepped back as he tried to reach for me but I wouldn’t allow him to. He couldn’t even speak as I was madly lost in track with the ideas that filled in my head. “I was wrong. I was not enough. I should’ve been there-"

“Y/n!” He brought me back to reality with just one yell of my name. And I wondered, can he bring his self back too? “I hate that you think bad about yourself. That you had regrets during that moment as you kept blaming your decisions” He mumbled but loud enough for me to hear, “Maybe that’s the reason why I was given another opportunity to meet you. You changed me, y/n. I need you to understand that and respect my feelings.”

“Respect your feelings? Did you ever respect me as a person?” I stared at him, full of contempt and bitterness. He didn’t waste another second to respond but I had cut him off. “What kind of question is that, y/n? Of course, I do-“ I desperately wanted to move away from him that I took several steps back as he did forward.

“And you didn’t consider how I’d react?”

“I did, I had thought of it-“ “And you still went with it! I thought our friendship was strong enough that you’d understand how gravely I’d suffer if you were gone in just one moment. Hell, you left me for a lifetime!” “Can you please listen to me for one second before you might get yourself killed?! We walked back to the road and a car could be here any time we’d least expect!” He raised his voice higher to grab my attention that I had lost strength to fight back. Nothing made sense anymore. How could he put me in place as easy as he’d throw me away? “I can’t afford to lose you, y/n” His eyes softened and I could observe them; they were full of regrets. My heart ached once more and it wasn't because of him. I could sense my hopes getting up again.

[THE DOCK]

We were sitting, staring at the dimness in front of us. Silence. That was all I could hear almost an hour after we went back. It was enough to calm myself down, to be ready, before he’d start talking again. And he did. “You knew my struggles before as a trainee. Rather than solely dancing, I realize I’d be known greater as an idol. I was already suffering from their constant criticisms, endless practices, and trying to prove myself out there. Because it’s so different here in Korea. You can’t simply be skilled and succeed in the music industry. They take no mercy that it’s somehow not just music anymore. You have to appear perfect, have that appeal, be good-looking, and even know almost everything to please people and bring them to be your fans. Not only that, I had family issues too. It was messed up and I needed a different place. I didn’t know I actually needed a person, you, my safe place. It was as if all those worries disappeared and I found my reason to keep going on in that journey. In everyone’s eyes, I was a disappointment and a doubt but you never made me feel that way. You are important to me, y/n. And I’d climb a hundred mountains, reach for a thousand stars, and search for you within millions of people in this world, all for you. I’d make everything possible for you.” “Yet you couldn’t wait a day just for me?” Tears started falling once again but it was a first to see tears brimming from his eyes. I hesitated to add the question I’ve thought of all this time as I imagined his expression, his realization that I’m coming back to reality. “Hyunjin… why did you die? Why did you leave me, alone?”

After a sigh, he replied. “It was not simply one day for me. It was the only moment. I had realized in a short span of time that I can’t live without you. After those moments, I went back to my dorm and repeated the same routine. But I used to be happy because I thought of you every second of my life. I felt motivated in seeing someone who could finally understand me. However, every time they drag me down, give me a notice I may be up for elimination, criticize me, and say I’m not fit for dancing when it had been my reason for living, there was still this hole nobody can fill. And I may had gone through that pain, I may stand it when I’m with you but I was so lost. I wanted to restart my life because I was scared at the thought that I may not be happy with wanting to be an idol when I’ve wasted all my years for this. What am I going to do without it? Without you?”

“Was I not enough? Did I not make a greater effort of changing your perspective?”

“I arrived at the point that I had still thought of spending my days with my bestfriend when I finally become an idol. You’ve changed much more than just perspective, you changed me. But we both can’t change what cannot be changed. It’s life and I’ve given up on it. There’s nothing more you can do.”

He took ahold of my hand and we both stood as the sunrise is nearing. “But looking at you once more, now that I have this freedom, you really got a knack for changing lives. I used to be lost but I have a vision now. You brought me back. I realized that I still needed more time to be with you, I will always do. I do not want things to end, y/n. Thank you for the seven days, seven hours, and seven more minutes with you but I’d be too selfish as to always ask for one more second until I finish spending an eternity with you. Seven is not right for us, Eight may be our fate. But life encompasses everyone and I struggle to keep this goal running” He squeezed my hand, hard enough to make me realize he was trying to keep himself composed. Time is such an awful thing to be paired with life, I thought.

“I thought you said you’d make everything possible for me? For us?” He could only, after everything, smile. He reached for the strands of hair falling like the continuous tears running through my cheeks. He tucked them under my ear as he whispered “And I would.” 

I pushed him back a little as we were on the same wavelength, on the same page. “You’re not leaving me again, Hyunjin. You’re not. Not when I’ve spent my whole life thinking about you! Crushing myself over you and dreading this moment just to finally see you pushing me away again! I was there. Everyone moved on but I stayed in the same beach until dust collected in my pinned-up hair and you weren’t still there. On that- this same beach you had forgotten me because I wasn’t present the day you needed me.”

“I could never forget about you, I had never done that at all. I always needed one second to be close to you but that’s the problem, y/n. I used to be hurting every time I was with you, knowing I was meant to leave you in the end. I had no direction in life and I did not want to drag you further with me. You deserve to be in this world.”

Choked sobs are all that he could hear from me. No, I did not like to take another silence anymore. Why does it appear as if we’ve got nothing left to do, that all his decision must be him leaving me? I desperately grasped unto my shirt and crouched with all means to let out the pain my heart is feeling. The scream my heart is letting out that he can now hear.

“It hurts much more, Hyun. I was not living but I wasn’t dying too. Have you encountered it? Before leaving this sick world, did you carry all those regrets? Did you have troubles leaving this beach knowing you’re gone? Did you stop watching the television and your favorite series, basically your current only reason for living, just because I saw your face on the news? Did you lose your appetite? Did you have sleepless nights full of cries and when you were finally able to take a nap, you’d wake up with a wet pillow? Did you stop leaving the house and wasn’t strong enough to face your other friends? Did you feel very helpless to the point I wasn’t brave enough to meet your grave? Up to this time, I walk with nothing but pain in my heart. It hurts, Hyun. It hurts to think that the only thing that reminds me I’m still living is this sting in my heart and I hate that! I hate that I’m still living a life, the one thing that brought both of us down. I’m walking, driving, eating, strolling, and desperately trying to fix everything broken through time. One thing that brought both of us down, I’m still alive because of this sickening time!” “But I have no regrets, y/n.” He mumbled in a low volume and it finally struck me. There’s nothing more I can do, do I? Is this why he’s here? To make me understand that it wasn’t my fault? He’s so pure and good that it’s mean to me.

“How could you do this to me?”

He shushed me, brought my hands together, and embraced me as we both cried. “And I’m sorry. I apologize for everything I’ve made you feel but you won’t feel a single thing like that anymore. By the time we’d keep on living in different worlds, you have to let go of me.” “I’m scared, Hyunjin.” His hands touched my back as he held me closer and simply replied with a ‘don’t be’. “I could sense I’m slowly losing you. I’m slowly starting to forget how you touched me, how you made me feel, and your voice.” He replied no more and encouraged me to let all my feelings out… to forget later. I tried to move a little but he didn’t let me go. It was obvious he didn’t want me to have a last look at his eyes. It’s getting dangerous, Hyun. I’m starting to forget your gaze, those eyes that would then not be considered as ‘those’ but simply eyes I would not be able to recognize anymore. You’re starting to be like everyone, like strangers.

“Can I have one more word with you?” I could feel his soft hands stop and it was if I read his mind. He didn’t want any more promises, I know. “Did you really climb a hundred mountains, and reach for a thousand stars before you’ve searched for me?”

He paused for a moment and we both could hear ourselves chuckle. “You really are still the same, y/n. Hmm..” He stopped as if thinking, before continuing again, “I may had- have not. Okay, I did not.” I could sense his smile but couldn’t feel it anymore.

I tugged his shirt as we still embraced and gave a playful laugh through my tears. “You’re such a drama!” “But in the afterworld, I would. I’d do those for you before I’m forgetting you as well. We’d keep living in both worlds.” I sighed, but it was more of an emotional release. I wonder if he also started to forget how I feel.

“I hope the afterworld do you good, it’s what you deserve.” “And I’d pray to those angels to give you a life, not just worth living but full of happiness.” “That seems impossible” I playfully rolled my eyes and lightly hit him in the back.

“I’d make everything possible for you.” And I knew he’d let it happen. I was starting to calm down as I could see the sun rising. A new beginning. A restart.

“Can I say one last thing before we’d leave each other?” My voice almost cracked due to the sudden wash of emotions to which he replied with a sorrowed chuckle. I could feel myself crying again and my hands were shaking. My heart was clenching so bad and I didn’t know whether it was because of the fear of having a new life without him or because I’m losing him completely. “I liked you, Hyunjin. I really liked you.” It was more than just ache, I was wailing to let out the pain and everything else that kept my heart in a cage. I could sense his touch gradually getting away from me. I could sense him disappearing into thin air as my tears were heavy as falling down into the wooden platform in the dock. I desperately held on to myself instead of him, and crouched down as I felt myself losing all the strength. After everything, I still didn’t know whether he had heard my confession. But it was more than enough to get myself to admit it and let it all out. 

He was gone in seven seconds, but I’d need one more second to place him back in my heart again. I’d start anew not holding on to our memories but the lesson that I can find love like this. To be happy, just as he wished. He left me the second time but he was also right again, not in the sense of being together but living in separate ways. Seven was not right for us, Eight may be our fate.

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light (All Too Well — Taylor Swift) I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone (Enchanted — Taylor Swift)

[romanarose]

My Hero

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader

Reader is just me. What can I say.

Summary: You work at the coffee shop of the London Museum, and you're used to guys being a bit weird, but when one gets a bit handsy, your work crush steps in to help you

Warnings: Guy being creepy, inappropriate touching (just the shoulder) slight aggressive behavior (grip on arm), anxiety attack, references to past trauma but I promise this fic is pretty light, mostly about Steven being a sweety. Breif refernce to Linkin Park and Chester Bennington's suicide, just a fair warning.

A/N: Like most of my fics, this is based off of something that happened to me while working at a cafe in San Diego, except I didn't have a Steven Grant to save me, I had to try and override my freeze response to get out of it, and cry outside alone. Like everything in my life, I process it though writing, to allow myself control over the situation. I was pretty proud of myself for being able to get out of it without help, when for years, I would just freeze.

Italics are Marc, bold is steven, red is jake.

****************

Christ, he was handsome. Disarmingly so. Steven Grant, your coworker at the gift shop, was just the right kind of dorky. You didn't mean dorky as an insult, ooohhhh no. You were a huge dork. You had a baby Yoda Shirt on right now, and a Simple Plan tattoo from your emo phase that you never quit grew out of.

'It's not a phase mum! This is who I am now!'

And it wasn't a phase! It was who you were!

And Steven seemed to enjoy it, although he may not fully understand it. He came to your register one day, looking absolutely dead tired, not looking at you as he said hello and mumbled something about 'Whatever has caffeine' You gently explain that since this is a coffee shop, almost everything has caffeine. He looked up at you like he was about to break down crying if he had to make a single choice.

"Okay! Okay uuuhhh do you like drinks more sweet, or earthy taste?"

"Er, sweet I supposse. But I'm vegan" He perked up a bit at your bright, patient smile. Get it Steven

"Yeah no problem! We have a vegan caramel, it's a $0.50 upcharge, so are the milk subs, is that okay?"

Cheapest date we've ever had

"Right, of course, no problem there, do you have oat?"

"Absolutely!" There was no line, so you went ahead and made his drink, vegan caramel macchiato two double espresso. "Here, try it!"

Steven, this isn't coffee this is sugar

The man took a drink, and looked almost relieved. "Oh it's wonderful, love! How much do I owe you?" You finally smiled at you, and you felt like your heart would fly out your chest.

God dammit, she's trouble.

You shake your head. "No charge today, call it a taste test"

Okay, now this is the cheapest date we've ever been on

"Oh no! No, I can pay! I don't want to get you in trouble"

You reassure him. "You won't, I'm the morning manager, just come back for more sometime, yeah?"

Damn right we'll be back.

Steven put 5 quid in your tip jar before promising he'd be back. And he was. Every morning for coffee, and usually again in the afternoons for tea. You had taken to visiting him in the gift shop if he was too busy to come to your side, which eventually turned to you bringing him a tea every afternoon, to which he'd respond shock every single time you handed him the cup. He'd take it with a "Oh love, you shouldn't have!" Every single time, as if he was surprised someone was continuously showing him kindness.

In turn, Steven would listen to you talk about your music interests. Even though he had never heard of the music you talked about, he kept a mental cataloged of everything you mentioned and actively participated in the conversation. "What? My Chemical Romance released a new song?! How long was that hiatus, 10 years? How they kept that a secret, I'll never know"

You had to admit your little work crush was turning into something deeper, as the months drew on with him, and yet you couldn't make a move. You weren't afraid of asking men out, much to your traditional parents' horror, but Steven was different. You had a friendship you cared deeply about, how could you risk that. What would you do if you didn't see his face int he morning, disheveled but smiling? What else did you have going on after work, other than to wonder the museum with him as he explained the niche facts he knew? Who would sit with you on your lunch break and tell you about the bullshit things Donna would say to him about his autism, and then insist you not report her because he doesn't want to cause problems? Sweet Steven meant the world to you. And you knew damn well that shy man wouldn't ask you out if he even was interested.

So here you were, waiting for him to come see you for his morning coffee where you never upcharged him, so you can show him the video's your friend took of Matty Heely at the concert they went too.

The playlist in the coffee shop right now was yours. You were allowed to play your music as long as there wasn't swearing or too much screaming, so you have found a playlist of lighter emo/rock songs. However, you had failed to check it all the way through, and Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park came on, a song that you could no longer listen to after Chester Bennington's death on your birthday. You set down the latter you were working on as the espresso dripped into the cup, going to go skip the song.

But this slight detour in making coffee in order to prevent you from crying at 8 am on a Tuesday was simply too much for the man who was waiting on his stupid overpriced latte as you reached for your phone.

"Ma'am" He stepped into your work area behind the counter as you walked past, grabbing your arm. "How much longer on the coffee?" He asked.

Your entire world focused in on the man's grip on you, and the music playing overhead threatening to take your back to the place you had been in when he died. His grip was light, so you tried to take a step back, muttering 'excuse me', but his grip tightened harsh enough to cause bruises as his fingers dug painfully into your skin. "You should take care of customers before playing on your phone"

You froze, as he started yelling about needing his coffee, but not letting you move. The music was too much and the emotions the song brought mixed with the memories the man's grip on you triggered, you found yourself unable to move, your young coworker standing by in shock, unsure what to do.

The next thing you register is slightly being yanked forward as the man was pulled away from you, and Steven Grant stepping between your near-hyperventilating form. You have enough thought to turn off that godforsaken song with the phone in your hand, realizing then that Steven hand his arm out beside you, in case the man tried anything further. "Alright mate, lets back away, yeah?"

"She's supposed to be making my coffee" He argued, taking another step to move behind the counter, but Steven's other hand pushed him back, his body blocking the man's accesssto you and the 18-year-old you were working with.

"You'll get your bloody coffee, one more step and it'll be on your face instead."

You couldn't imagine you're sweet Steven throwing hot coffee on someone, but something told you that even if he didn't follow through with that threat, the man wouldn't touch you again, nor poor McKenna, who was just trying to pay for college.

The man stared at Steven like he was assessing the situation. Steven wasn't tall by any means, and it wasn't like he was jacked, but he was deceptively strong, and you had a itching feeling the passive man would go absolutely unhinged if the need arose. There was spark in his eyes, a passion that said he knew right from wrong and he would defend it if he could.

The man must've seen it too, because he took a few steps back, raising his hands in defeat and suddenly acted all innocent. "Alright mate, no trying to start anything, just want me coffee"

"Here" McKenna handed him the coffee and he left.

Steven watched him leave. The absolute nerve of him, thinking he can go around harassing girls just trying to do their jobs. Everyone complains about a lack of service workers, but Christ can you blame them? I wouldn't want to do this shite either with twits like that hanging about!

Steven, he's leaving, go check on her Marc reminded him, knowing how Steven can get distracted

Oh! Right, thanks mate What Steven saw broke his heart.

You were staring off into space, shaking as your coworker tried to comfort you, but you looked like you were about to cry. Steven rushed over, careful not to touch you lest he overwhelm you right now. "Hey love, you would like to step outside? Or maybe walk around for a bit?" He turned to McKenna "You can handle it here for a bit, yeah?"

She nodded. "Yeah, go take a breather"

You nod in return, gaze not focusing on him yet. "Uh, yeah, yeah can we step outside" you grab your purse.

You took Steven's hand, not caring if it was too bold. You had been really scared, and he made you feel safe.

"Stevie!" Donna had bellowed as he guided you past the gift shop. "Just where do you think you're going?"

"Having a smoke break, Donna!" He called out.

"You don't smoke!"

"Let me have this, or I'll start" He threatened, looking at Donna challengingly. When she didn't argue, he continued "Right then, cheers" and took you outside to breath. "Hey there, are you-" But he was cut off with a strong hug and quit cries. He wrapped his arms around you, feeling your chest rise and fall in his arms. He didn't speak, merely opting to rub your back appropriately high and allow you to cry to out.

When you pulled back, sniffling, you realized how gross and wet his t-shirt sleeve had gotten. "oh god, I'm sorry Steven" You said, looking defeated in a way he had never seen you, usually so alight with excitement and in love with life.

"Huh?" He looked at the tear covered sleep that may or may have snot on it. "Oh, please, don't worry about that, I didn't even like this shirt" it was his favorite, but that didn't matter.

You were mumbling fuck and shit and goddammit into your purse as you dug through, getting tissues and blowing your nose before using the clean ones to wipe off his shirt as best you could. "Bloody hell, I'm fucking disgusting" you say to yourself more than anything as you frantically try to clean him.

Steven grabs your hand "Darling, no, you aren't disgusting" He catches and holds your gaze for the first time that day. "You just had a scary time, that man was horrible, and I hope he forgets to put his seat down on the toilet, then wakes up in the middle of the night to shit and falls in."

Finally, you laugh and grace him with the smile he loved so much. "That's... a bit out of pocket"

"Yeah" He breaths out a laugh, shrugging a bit, nervously.

"Here" You take off your oversized jacket and hand it to him.

"Oh! No love, it's fine-"

"Steven, my snot is on your sleeve, please allow me this little bit of dignity"

Steven graciously accepts the jacket, and you can help smile at how cute he looks with Baby Yoda on the breast pocket. Having felt pain in your arm when you took the jacket off, you pull up the sleeve to find bruises forming on your arm, and wince.

Steven took your arm in a carful hold, frowning deeply as he examined it Hijo de puta I'll fucking kill him "Bastard's banned, I'll have JB pull up the security camera footage, he won't be allowed back after this"

You wipe tears from your eyes with your arm, and try to explain yourself. "I... know that was a bit of a, erm, an overreaction" you sniffle. "There's been guys who... well I've been in some scary situations... um..." you hesitate to open up about that part of your life.

Steven sensed your discomfort. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to" You smile. You weren't ready for that yet, but you knew he'd listen if you were. He continues, justifying your reaction for you. "I would be scared too, if someone did that too me. He hurt you, love. And the song that was playing, that was Linkin Park, yeah? That song that always upsets you? I'm certain that didn't help"

You pause at that. "Since when do you listen to Linkin Park? Since when do you even listen to music?"

Steven looked like he had been caught. "Oh... uh... Well, since you told me they were your favorite band, I suppose. Can't say I understand all the appeal, but I've found some I liked." He said shyly, knowing he was letting the cat out of the bag.

You blink at him, eye wide with disbelief. "You... you listened to my favorite band?"

Steven cocked his head to the side a bit. "Bands. I've listened to several you mentioned. I've found I rather like Panic! At the Disco, which I didn't see coming"

You burst out in a laugh and wide grin. "Steven, do you have any plans tonight?" You ask, taking his hand.

Say something smooth, this is your chance.

"Um... yeah, I'm cooking dinner for my pretty coworker" Steven smiled nervously, brown curls falling in his face.

You beam at him, leaning into his shoulder as you walk back inside. As you walk through the doors, you clarify. "The coworker is me, right?"

"There's no one else I'd rather spend the evening with"

***************

I know this was incredibly self-indulgent but I hope ya'll liked it anyway. When this happened, I had to deal with it alone, but after work I walked home with this coworker I had a crush on (he lived a block away so he always walked me home) and he saw I was upset after what happened so he asked me to explain star wars to him.

me "uh, like, what about it?"

him "I know the basics of the origenals, tell me the plot of the movies"

"which ones?"

"all of them"

"theres nine movies"

"and i wanna hear about all of them"

Even after we got to my apartment he sat outside with me as I finished explaining 8 and 9, and he activily participated and pretended to be invested, which significantly distracted me from the triggering even of the man at work grabbing me. I wanted to marry him so bad but I had to move out of that living situation XD so i left the state

Also: my birthday is July 20th. linkin park is my favorite band, which means on July 20, 2017 I woke up to the news that Chester Bennington had died on the birthday I shared with chesters friend and another artist i loved, chris cornell, who had killed himself earlier that year. it took years before I was able to properly celebrate my birthdy instead of mourning. I always find a way to remember chester and chris every year thought, an honor their memories.

anyway, hope you Steven girlies liked this! I think Ima drop another super short drabble tonight too, bc im going through it right now lol.

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @welcometostayingawake @in-between-the-cafes @lucianadraven32 @milkymoon2483 @ahookedheroespureheart