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ao3statistics · 2 months

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Guide to all charts on this blog

The "most popular ships" and "most popular tags" charts are most often connected to a certain character.

Please not that the number of percentages in my pie charts correlate to the numbers in the chart and NOT the overall number of hits I got.

Meaning: All the hits displayed in the chart make up 100% and if I get many hits off Ao3 not all the hits will be displayed in the charts and the 100% will be made up from the most popular hits only (which are then displayed in the pie chart).

Long story short: I let Excel convert the real numbers I make the pie charts of into percentages.

I try to make my charts as easily accessible as possible. This includes:

writing that isn't too small

numbers and writing in black instead of grey etc.

colours that are easily distinguishable (no too dark colours next to each other etc.)

no colours from the red/green spectrum directly next to each other because some Tumblr users might have red-green colour blindness

colours that won't make you fall asleep

colours that (in combination with each other) won't give you an epileptic episode from looking at them

everything written outside of pie charts instead of outside and inside for easier comprehension

the same kind of chart for the same categories (pie charts for ships, bar charts for the most popular tags etc.)

I cannot account for everything though and might make mistakes. Some of my earlier charts might also not really conform to the above in all aspects.

Current Poll

Events

LotR (Lord of the Rings)-charts-week will be from 20.05. – 26.05.2024!

2 charts a day (hopefully) for one character (most popular tags & most popular ships)

Most popular Sakamaki Vampire

Popularity of the Mukami vampires

Popularity of (all) the vampires in DL

Grishaverse

Who Kaz Brekker loves the most

Underswap Sans (Undertale)

Non-statistics stuff

Fruity Jason Todd Tags:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

This will be updated regularly.

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classicsapphicships · 1 year

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The first round of preparations are finally complete, and that means the first round of the Classic Sapphic Ships bracket is almost ready to go! I'll be preparing the polls today and tomorrow to hopefully go live on Friday, and voting time for at least the first two rounds will run for a week. Check out the FAQ in the meantime, and feel free to send over any additional questions as well!

The full list of Round 1 Match Ups is under the cut!

Right side:

Franky/Bridget (Wentworth) vs Regina/Emma (Once Upon a Time)

Watson/Moriarity (Elementary) vs Lucy/Amy (DEBS)

Gina/Rosa (Brooklyn 99) vs Debbie/Lou (Ocean's 8)

Jo/Blair (The Facts of Life) vs Peyton/Brooke (One Tree Hill)

Piper/Alex (Orange is the New Black) vs Bering/Wells (Warehouse 13)

Xena/Gabrielle (Xena: Warrior Princess) vs Trini/Kimberly (Power Rangers 2017)

Ripley/Annalee (Alien) vs Annalise/Tegan (How to Get Away With Murder)

Susan/Talia (Babylon 5) vs Chessy/Meredith (The Parent Trap)

Ann/Anne (Gentleman Jack) vs Scully/Reyes (X-Files)

Cat/Kara (Supergirl) vs Olivia/Natalia (Guiding Light)

Nikki/Helen (Bad Girls) vs Ola/Lily (Sex Education)

13/Cameron (House MD) vs Sara/Catherine (CSI)

Delphine/Cosima (Orphan Black) vs Emily/JJ (Criminal Minds)

B'elanna/Seven (Star Trek) vs Rachel/Quinn (UnReal)

Emily/Alison (Pretty Little Liars) vs Beca/Chloe (Pitch Perfect)

Carol/Maria (Captain Marvel) vs Raven/Abby (The 100)

Left side:

Grace/Frankie (Grace & Frankie) vs Shaw/Root (Person of Interest)

Callie/Arizona (Grey's Anatomy) vs Stef/Lena (The Fosters)

Eve/Mazikeen (Lucifer) vs Luce/Rachel (Imagine Me & You)

Tara/Pam (True Blood) vs Ally/Ling (Ally McBeal)

Alex/Olivia (Law and Order SVU) vs Miranda/Andy (The Devil Wears Prada)

Samantha/Janet (Stargate SG-1) vs Nomi/Amanita/Sense8)

Willow/Tara (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) vs 13/Yasmin (Doctor Who)

Sharon/Brenda (The Closer) vs Kalinda/Alicia (The Good Wife)

Max/Anne (Black Flag) vs Petra/Jane (Jane the Virgin)

Eleanor/Tahani (The Good Place) vs Kelly/Yorkie (Black Mirror)

Rory/Paris (Gilmore Girls) vs Aneela/Kendry (Killjoys)

Quinn/Rachel (Glee) vs Jane/Maura (Rizzoli & Isles)

Nico/Karolina (Runaways) vs Serena/Bernie (Holby City)

Laura/Danny (Carmilla) vs Peggy/Angie (Agent Carter)

Hecate/Pippa (The Worst Witch) vs Bobbie/Chrisjen (The Expanse)

Bo/Lauren (Lost Girl) vs Bette/Tina (The L Word)

#bracket poll #femslash ships #fandom polls #femslash #sapphic ships #round 1 #classic fandom

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whatthisfemsheplikes · 1 year

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GUESS WHO’S BACK

I HAVE AWOKEN FROM MY *checks calendar* TWO YEAR SLUMBER! MAY THE G/T ANGST RAIN DOWN UPON THIS PAGE ONCE MORE!

In all seriousness though, hi! I’ve got some news!

I don’t know if anyone will still remember this, but I used to have a sideblog a few years ago where I posted my g/t story called See Me. Unfortunately, I decided to delete that sideblog for a number of reasons, but eventually I came back to my main and said I’d put See Me somewhere else, potentially on AO3. Right after I said that, I asked for an invitation to AO3, did a little bit of waiting and then... totally forgot about it.

What can I say? We were in the heat of Covid times, my mental health was at an ATL, I was moving, and lots of other adult stuff happened. Since then, I just felt kind of bad about returning to this page with no new content of my own to put out. I used to write a lot and enjoy it, but lots of stuff in my life has been going on the past two years that hasn’t really motivated me to do any writing or creating of any kind. I know that I could still be liking and reblogging stuff, but coming back here just made me miss what I used to create, so I stopped for a little while.

BUT NOT FOR LONG! While it may not sound great, through a lot of self-reflection and therapy, I’ve kind of discovered that nowadays, I turn to g/t content when I’m going through a hard time. And, not gonna lie, I’m DEEP in the trenches from fucked up life events right now, so naturally, I found myself back on tumblr to connect with the g/t community again. But not on this page. That’s right! I made a new page and I’ve been LURKIN’ out here! And no, I will not reveal what that page is, but feel free to tell me if you think you’ve figured it out and I’ll be more than happy to tell you if that page is me or not.

Anyway, since I’ve been lurking and consuming as much g/t content as I can get my hands on, I’ve also gone back to my own archives and read through See Me about a billion more times. Not only did I polish it up a lot while keeping everything pretty much the same (mostly fixing spelling and grammar) but I also just told myself “you know what, I still really like this story.” And reading so many other amazing stories from other g/t writers on here really inspired me to finally get out there and put See Me back into the universe, while also writing a few new stories and AUs in the process that will hopefully see the light of day at some point.

ALL OF THAT TO SAY... I did it. See Me is finally up on AO3 right now! At least, MOST of it is. I really had to take a hard look at my word doc and think “why did I do this to myself” when I counted 39 chapters with almost 400 pages that I wanted to reread, edit again, and possibly add some polish on, chapter by chapter before putting it on AO3. As of writing this, I started uploading chapters last night and am currently done uploading chapter 19. So... about halfway done! I’m still going to keep uploading as I had the time to do so (I do have work tomorrow so... not as much time as the weekend but I’m going to post more) and eventually all 39 chapters will be available just as you remember them (or are reading for the first time if you never got to read See Me before).

I’ll also be uploading any of the prompt stories and other short stories I made to AO3, and any prompts that I get and write here in the future will be available there as well. Like I said, I have some new ideas too, some AUs and some completely new universes with new OCs that have also been sitting in my hard drive since I first started writing g/t stuff years ago. I’m hoping to keep up this motivation and to eventually write and put out those stories on AO3 too, so stick around for that if you’re interested!

To anyone that is still following this page and has maybe even been waiting for See Me to come back, thank you for your patience and support. I hope you still enjoy what I put out there, and I hope to keep up this motivation to create, even after things hopefully get better in my personal life.

As a little aside, some of the big motivators in my comeback, even though they wouldn’t know it, are @not-a-space-alien with their story Watch Your Step, @marydublinauthor and @bittykimmy13 with all their wonderful Shot In The Dark and Print/Trinket stories (please go buy their books, they are absolutely amazing), and @ratcatcher0325 with their stories A Fraction of Justice and Nobody’s Fool. I know that these tags might come out of nowhere for all of you, as I don’t think I’ve interacted with any of you personally on this account, but your stories inspire me so much that it really pushed me to put my work back out there again, especially if my work could make someone as happy as all your stories make me. So thank you! I look forward to reading all that you create in the future! And in case you’re thinking “but you only just started following me today/recently,” well, like I said, I’ve been lurking on another account, so I’m sure you might’ve seen me there and just not known it. Anyway, keep up the amazing work, and everyone else please go read their stuff! It’s awesome and full of g/t goodness!

Well, I think that’s everything I had to say. I’m going to try and be more active on here and not just update about my AO3, because I don’t think that would be very fun. I’ll still get on here and like and reblog things that I like so feel free to stick around and interact. And if you want to interact with my work, please visit my AO3 page right here, or search for whatthisfemsheplikes on AO3! I’d love to see you there! Here’s to the future and I hope you all have some happy holidays coming up!

- Mo-Mo

TLDR; Life sucks but I’ve posted See Me, my g/t story, on AO3 so it’s back on the internet. You can read that and anything else I write on my page right here, or find me under the same username whatthisfemsheplikes on AO3!

#whatthisfemshepthinks #whatthisfemshepwrites #g/t #g/t stories #g/t writing #see me #Tori and Wesley #there is a hint about my second account on this post

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magioffire · 2 years

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today was a exhausting day, hopefully tomorrow will be bette

#i forced myself to stay up all day so i could sleep through the night #lets hope that occurs lmfao #ooc.

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mycomori · 2 years

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i took pto so i’ll have four days off total which is the first vacation ive he run three years. i plan to clean the house tomorrow and do therapy and then hopefully i can focus on relaxing and self care. i’m just so tired, living this way is har d. part of me wants to run away and live w my aunt like i wants to as a kid. i’ve lived e her before i know she would leave me be, i could live in her fancy nice house in park city and work there, i could start new. but there’s still so much i don’t know, i haven’t talked to my cousint about wnat he told me, i don’t know if it’s real or a delusion of schitzophrenia i was lucky to dodge the genetic bullet of. of the two i’d us, basically brother and sister, i got it easy. i hit the better dad, the bette mom, the better brain. illl neve forgive myself for that. and hey i’m so relieved at the same time, it’s sick and sad wnr i hate it

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sherokutakari · 6 years

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Eugh

Usually watching Game Grumps let's plays are pretty funny, but watching them play Detroit: Become Human is actually like... annoying at best, and fucking obnoxious at worst

#like what even #it's only the beginning so it might get bette #and I really hope it does #'cause so far they're just like #blasting through the gameplay itself #and then mocking the cutscenes???#I just #don't get it #hopefully jacksepticeye puts up pt4 to his tomorrow instead :\

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karlajoyner · 3 years

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Can you do a smut piece with Owen where he takes you to Hawaii and you guys meet up with the cast and everything, but then later that night he takes you back to the bedroom to show you some real fun. Ik you get this for a while, can’t wait for your other work love your writing style.

So Needy (Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys I hope you like this one! I'm sorry I haven't posted in over a week I had a lot of shit to do but I have a few imagines done and I'm working on the rest of my requests so I could hopefully open them up again soon. Also Alex and Reggie now have last names and I’m 1000% freaking the fuck out because it was the last thing I was expecting . I’m gonna go back eventually and put them in all my imagines. And yeah....totally didn’t make me go back and watch the show for the 12th time. It’s a problem....it’s fine. Anyways Enjoy! (Sorry for any typos I always fuck up but I’ll go back and fix them later)

Requested by: @jjbassett (Tumblr)

Warnings: Smut! (18+)

————

I walked into the airport tiredly. Thankful it was at least somewhat empty.

"Owen why'd you book our flights so damn early?" I asked my boyfriend who was walking to my left.

"I didn't book them. Charlie did" He stated my gaze moving to the boy on my right.

"I should have known. No one but a psychopath would book a flight at the ass crack of dawn" I spoke earning a laugh from both boys.

"To be fair I thought you were a morning person y/n/n"

"Oh I am. When it's 8:00 o'clock and past that. I do not enjoy having to wake up at 4:00 o'clock in the morning to get ready. I mean seriously Charles it's still fucking dark out" I pointed out.

"Oh man. Alright I'll take that into consideration"

"Be lucky you didn't have to deal with her when the first alarm rang" Owen said making me glare at him.

"I love you baby. You know that but you just get so grumpy" He spoke making me roll my eyes.

"Did you just compare me to one of the seven dwarves? Fine. Alright. I get a little grumpy. But that's only because I have to be the big spoon too"

"Oh my god man your the little spoon" Charlie laughed as we arrived to security.

"You swore you wouldn't tell anybody" Owen whisper shouted.

"Yeah well that's just me being grumpy. Sorry babe"

"No it's cool. It's cool. Just wait until tonight" He whispered the last part in my ear before letting me go ahead.

"Seriously Charlie a knife? You tried to bring a knife on a plane?!" I asked exasperatedly as we boarded the plane.

"I didn't know they wouldn't let me bring it"

"I think it's a given that they wouldn't let you bring it dude"

"Yeah yeah"

"Well paybacks a bitch huh Charlie?" I joked handing Owen my carry on so he could put it above our seats.

"Haha y/n. I'd like you to remember that your stuck on this flight with me for the next few hours so I'd be a little nicer"

"I just can't wait to tell Jer about this" I said taking my seat next to the window. Owen taking the one to my right.

"Owennn your girlfriends being mean" Charlie complained earning a laugh from the blonde.

"I'm sorry Charlie but I can't do anything. The more she's mean to you the less she's mean to me" Owen said making me giggle.

"He's not wrong" I grinned intertwining our fingers and placing a quick kiss to Owen's cheek.

"That's all I get" He questioned making me playfully roll my eyes before pulling him in for a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Better?" I asked pulling away.

"Much" He smiled widely.

"You guys better not do that the whole plane ride"

"We won't. Gotta save something for tonight man" Owen joked. My elbow instinctively shoving itself into his arm as Charlie began to laugh.

"Ouch"

"Funny how you think your getting some tonight" I muttered.

"Am I not?"

"We'll see" I responded putting in my AirPods as the two boys began to conversate.

"Do you see your bag?" I questioned my boyfriend. We'd been stuck at baggage claim for ages trying to find Owens green suitcase.

"Nope"

"Owen" I groaned.

"There! There it is!" He shouted excitedly.

"Oh yes!" Charlie cheered as the bag reached our area.

"Let's get out of here"

"And just like that I hate airports" I said as we walked past random strangers.

"Y/n!" I heard a familiar voice shout. My eyes quickly spotting the source.

"Tori!" I screamed letting go of my boyfriends hand and running towards the girl who had her arms wide open.

I giggled engulfing her into a tight hug before turning to the rest of the group behind her.

"Kenny!" Owen and Charlie greeted their director.

"It's good to see you guys too" Jeremy spoke up.

"Care!"

"Y/n I'm so glad your here"

"I'm glad to be here. It's always good to see you too Jer" I spoke hugging him after I hugged Carolynn.

"Finally someone who appreciates me" He said making me throw my head back in laughter.

"To the hotel!"

"So what took you guys so long?" Jeremy asked as the 7 of us lounged around the pool.

"Yeah we were at terminal like 40 minutes after your flight landed.

"It's a long story"

"Speaking of stories" I smirked looking at Charlie.

"Don't" He warned pointing a finger at me.

"I didn't say anything" I giggled, back stroking away from the group.

"So me and Care we're thinking of doing some shopping tomorrow you in?" Tori questioned swimming with me.

"One hundred percent" I said glancing at Owen who was laid back on one of the lounge chairs near the pools edge. He looked so good with his swim trunks and his damp hair.

"So then we decided we'd just save it for Saturday before Care left" Toris voice brought me back to reality.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked.

"Did you hear anything I said?"

"I did not" I muttered.

"And why is that?" She asked teasingly poking my side.

"Because my boyfriend is sitting a few feet away and he looks like that" I internally groaned.

"I say you go get him" She grinned at me.

"Not yet" I mischievously smiled swimming back towards the group.

"It's so cold" I stated getting out the pool and grabbing my beach towel. Wrapping it around me.

"Aww come here" Owen said opening his arms widely.

I simpered making my way over to him and laying down in his embrace.

His arms immediately wrapping themselves around my soaked body. His bare chest coming into contact with my partially covered one.

"You guys are too cute" Tori teased.

"Not cuter than us though right?" Carolynn joked hugging Tori.

"No. Never" She responded making us all laugh.

"I'd like to propose a toast" Kenny spoke holding up his drink.

"To friends"

"To family" Charlie followed.

"To love" Owen said making heart skip a beat as he lifted his drink in the air.

"Cheers" They spoke in unison lifting their drinks to their lips. Owens beautiful green eyes never leaving mine.

"I love you"

"I love you too Owen" I whispered placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

"Why don't we head back to the hotel for some real fun?" He suggested quietly making sure no one heard.

His hand running up and down my arm soothingly.

"Hmm is that your attempt to get me into bed?"

"Why? Is it working?" He asked making me smirk.

"So we're doing dinner tomorrow night right guys?" I asked sitting up straddling the boy beneath me. Rejoining the conversation our friends were having.

"Yeah. Kenny was telling us about this great place his friend recommended" Jeremy explained as I shifted a bit to get comfortable.

A pair of hands landing on hips.

"Oh really? Tell me more about his place Kenny" I said moving again hearing a small groan escape Owens lips as our thin clothed fronts rubbed against each others.

A wicked smirk forming on my face as we listened in on Kennys description of the place.

"It sounds fantastic. Doesn't it sound fantastic Owen?" I questioned my boyfriend shuffling again.

"Yeah. Yup sounds great. Listen it getting late guys. I think we're gonna head back to the hotel" He voiced sitting up as well.

"It's only 6:30 dude"

"Yeah but we just wanna have time to shower and get dinner. You know together. As a couple"

"Right.....well have fun you two" Kenny said awkwardly as I stood up along with Owen.

"Oh I'm pretty sure they will" Charlie joked causing me to snicker at the boy.

I quickly collected the remaining of my pool things saying my fair well goodbyes to our friends. Or tried.

Owen was clearly in a rush to get to the hotel.

"Don't leave me" Tori said hugging me one more time before we left.

"Sorry to break it to you but she's gotta go" Owen said removing the girls arms from my body and pulling me away.

"Bye!!" I waved to the group who were all cackling at Owens behavior.

"You didn't have to be so pushy" I muttered as we walked into the hotel lobby.

"Pushy? Please you knew what you were doing" He whisper yelled dragging me along the hallways towards the elevator.

"And what was I doing?" I asked stepping in immediately feeling my back pressed against the cold wall.

"You tell me" He whispered inching his face towards mine. I watched as he pushed the button to our floor before looking back at me.

I took initiative crashing our lips together. Feeling his hand land firmly on my waist as the elevator came to a halt signifying we were on our floor.

"Come on" I spoke rather harshly dragging him towards our room.

"Who's being pushy now?"

"Owen I swear to god if you say another word I will lock you outside and make myself cum got it?"

"Yes mam" He said taking my bag while I unlocked the door with my key card.

Immediately upon opening the door I felt the back of my bikini come undone the top falling to the ground.

Turning around I saw the childlike smirk on my boyfriends face as he shut the door behind us. Making sure to lock it.

I smirked back with the same look on my face. Biting my lip in anticipation as Owen moved forward wrapping his arms around my body.

"Your so-" I didn't let him finish as I crashed my lips onto his wanting to feel him closer.

He was quick to respond deepening the kiss as he back me up onto the queen sized bed in the middle of the suite.

"I can't even get a word out geez" He joked pulling away.

"I'm sorry baby what were you gonna say?" I teased as his body hovered over mine. My body prepped up on my elbows to get a better view of his face.

"I was gonna say your so needy"

"I'm the needy one? Really?"

"Well it's obviously not me"

"Care to test that theory?" I suggested watching his face scrunch up in confusion.

I pecked his lips one more time before using all my strength to flip us over so he was on his back. I moved my body over his so I was straddling him now. A grin appearing on my face.

"I'm gonna make you feel so good right now. I just need you to do what I say. Got it?" I whispered watching him nod his head rapidly, clearly intrigued at my proposal.

I leaned down kissing him passionately his hands finding my waist with ease. Slowly grinding down onto him earning a moan from the blonde. I bit his lip as we roughly fought for dominance.

Owen letting me win as soon as I began to palm him through his swim trunks. I pulled away moving down slowly until I was in front of him on my knees.

"Oh fuck baby. You look so fucking beautiful" He bit his lip taking a hold of my hair.

"No. You can't touch me. That's the only rule" I stated pushing his hand away.

"I can't? Why not?"

"Because I said so. Now are you gonna let me handle your little problem here or not?" I teased him, rubbing my hand against the fabric of his shorts.

"Fuck okay baby. Just- just do something" He pleaded. I smirked knowing I had it in the bag now.

"Take them off" I demanded. Sitting back as he removed his shorts along with his boxers letting his dick spring free.

I took the shaft pumping it a few times. Teasing the tip, even swirling my tongue around it earning a loud groan from Owen himself.

I slowly started pumping his length before placing my mouth on it. Beginning to bob my head up and down, feeling Owen thrust his body upward in attempt to get more of himself inside my mouth. His fist balling up and clenching the bedsheets tightly.

I hummed in response as moans escaped the boys mouth while I sucked him off. Eyeing him closely through my eyelashes seeing his head tilted back and his eyes were screwed shut made me even more excited for what was coming.

"I'm so close y/n" As soon as he said that I pulled away from him with a pop watching as his eyes shot open.

"W-what the hell?" He asked clearly confused.

"I'm just tired. Think it's time for bed no?" I questioned going to pick up my bikini top.

"No- No what the fuck babe" He spoke from behind me.

"Well I just th-" My words were cut off by a yelp as I was tossed back onto the bed.

"We're not done here" He spoke lunging on top of me quickly pressing his lips onto mine.

I sighed contently wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer as we made out.

"Who's the needy one now?" I whispered pulling away earning a scowl from him as he undid the strings of my bikini bottoms.

I shivered as I felt his tip align itself at my entrance. He didn't hesitate to push himself into me immediately filling me up. Something he'd never failed to do before.

I moaned as he began to move at a rather hasty pace. Not that I was complaining.

I pulled him back down making our lips meet once more while the noise of our bodies colliding echoed through the room.

"Faster" I mumbled into his mouth.

A familiar feeling pulling at the pit of my stomach. My orgasm becoming very close as Owen picked up speed. My legs wrapped around him as we struggled to stay in place.

"Owen" I moaned out as I came all over him. His orgasm hitting seconds later.

"Shit" He panted as he pulled out of me. Our liquids spilling out onto the comforter.

"Your calling for new sheets" I stated trying to regain my breath.

"That was so worth it baby" He spoke pecking my lips before getting off of me to go to the bathroom.

I smiled as he walked out with a towel, coming over to clean me up.

"I love Hawaii" He said making me giggle.

"Do you now? I wonder why?" I joked sitting up. Coming face to face with my boyfriend.

"But I love you more"

"Say more things like that and we'll be in bed the whole week" I spoke wrapping my arms around his neck. Giggling as he pushed me back onto the bed once more.

————

Up Next: Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Alex Mercer x Male Reader

Luke Patterson x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Jeremy Shada x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Reggie Peters x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Carrie Wilson x Reader

————

@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1 @morganayennefertyrell @iloveteenwolf @ghostofmgg @jammi13 @theravenclawlife

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opes-magnas · 3 years

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『 as lonely as time can get. 』

It’s finally here!! I’m a terribly slow writer, and am really thankful to all those who waited for this! Hopefully you enjoy. Thank you so much to @hamjjy, @kaavijournals and Lady L for beta reading this, you guys are the best!

Listen to this playlist here for the best experience!

tw: cursing, body sensitivity, very subtle idea of anxiety and toxic relationships are portrayed.

~calypso <3

I. the moon can't shine on her own.

She looks serene tonight - high up in the night sky, not a single star to accompany her. Does the moon feel lonely like that? Does she ever need a warm hug? Perhaps she gets one from the sun, and he accompanies her all time. Does the sun shine for her? So that the world can see her beauty? Perhaps so. When she can't see him, she turns bloody red; she seems disturbed. Hurt. Lost. Her fury always frightened the humans. It made them shiver inside their homes, praying to see the familiar ball of light rise from the east to calm her down. Perhaps it is better if they could only see her beauty. But does that mean the sun shines, not to show her beauty, but to protect the humans from her true self? Perhaps so.

The sun and the moon are a pair. And they will continue to be.

As long as the moon can't shine on her own.

Let's stop thinking, Luna.

The moon seems lonely.

I look up at the clock. A red, metallic light tells me its 3:48 am, 3rd April. Great, now I can have four shots of espresso for breakfast. Thank you, oh great mind, for deciding that we needed to have that conversation earlier. I sit up on the bed and rub my eyes. The curtain flutters from the soft wind blowing in through the window. Cicadas fill up the silence as I look at the full moon illuminating my room another time. Oh, how I hate the moon. What a hypocrite. I look away, and my eyes find the pile of open textbooks and spark notes I abandoned. A small smile creeps up my face. At least I'll ace that History test tomorrow. I could imagine the Boba Tea reward from Leo in my hands already. Leo. The annoying kid next door who's been stuck with me since I was five. Don't worry, though. I don't like him. Not anymore. He made it extremely clear that I was 'a size too big' for him. Then why do I still hang out with him? Short answer - I beat him up, he apologized. I shall offer no elaboration. Still, a lump forms in my throat. And maybe because he wasn't completely wrong.

I get up to go grab a glass of water. Mochi is lying in her bed in the hallway. This is the first time she didn't stir awake when I thumped across the room. The poor fluffball of a cat is probably very tired from the bath I forced her into in the evening.

You need to lose a few pounds anyways, Luna. Get rid of those love handles. Maybe some fat on your back too. That'll make people find you more approachable.

It isn't toxic if it's true, right?

That night, I decide that my glass is half-empty rather than full, and go back to bed. Suddenly, Mochi wakes up and runs into my room. She snuggles in and throws her paws on my hair like it's her property. I choose to oblige the demon for today.

The last thing I see before sleep lures me is the clock gleaming '3:59 am'.

/////-----

It's too warm in my blanket. I almost want to peel my skin off. I need to get sleep, I have a test soo- I jolt awake. Mochi is no longer next to me. I assume she's back in the comfort of her bed, considering the temperature in the room. I let out a groan as my hand outstretches to the switchboard. After a few terrible attempts, I finally turn on the ceiling fan. As sleep threatens to take me again, I see that it's still dark out and the moon looks just as annoying as it did earlier, its ever luminant light breaking down the walls of my privacy. My eyes turn to the direction of the clock- 3:48 am, 3rd April. Huh, weird. I realize I must have had one of those five-minute, extra strength-giving, amazing nap- Wait why does the clock say it's 3:48 am?

I grab my phone. The sudden light blinds me for a second, and through squinted eyes I see 3:49 am on the screen. Huh, really weird. Wasn't I awake just now - err, earlier? Wait what? I realize I make no sense, maybe I just read the time wrong the first time. My brain is repeating the features of the Hammurabi Code, my drowsy eyes are drooping, and I meet slumber once more.

I barely feel Mochi slipping back into my blanket.

/////-----

I wake up in wonder why my alarm hasn't rung yet. The room is still dark, the moon stares at me curiously. Give me some privacy, moon. My eyes turn towards the clock for the third time this night- 3:46 am, 3rd April. Bullshit. I've been asleep for hours now; I won't need those four espresso shots for breakfast anymore. My tongue clicks involuntarily. Is this some sort of a stupid prank? Leo is definitely behind this, I'm going to hunt that dipshit down.

Come to your senses, Luna. The universe cannot prank you. That's impossible. And stupid.

I grab my phone again. An attempt in vain, I realize, when I see the screen displaying the same time. I text Leo.

| loser |

you (3:46 am, 03.04.2021): you awake? (read)

loser (3:48 am, 03.04.2021): no

A chill goes down my spine. Did the just relive 3:38 am? I decide to call Leo. Two rings in, I hear a familiar voice, 'I said I wasn't awake.' He sounds tired, voice raspy and strained. You'd think he'd just woken up from the but he's the sort of person who thinks sleep is for the weak. 'Yeah no shit, Sherlock. I'm speaking to your alter ego, Thomas.', I reply.

He decides to ignore my bad retaliation, and saves me from the embarrassment. 'Why is my star pupil awake at 3 in the morning? Has she forgotten about the test she will help me cheat tomorrow?', he asks. Ah, this freeloader. I'm gonna kick his ass. My hands move frantically in the air out of annoyance, 'I am not helping you with anything!', I scream-shout into the phone, afraid I'll wake Mochi up in the hallway. She's a bigger annoyance than Leo; no one in the universe has energy to deal with a grumpy Mochi.

'Honey, you love me.'

'You're being delusional.', I deadpan.

'Is my chubby baby irritated?', he says in a fake cooing voice. And that got me.

'Leo, I did not call you at 3 in the fucking morning for you to put me down.'

The other side of the line immediately goes silent. Silence that reminded me of the last time this happened. Silence between the two of us on a Boba Tea study session in the park after an argument, the only sound being the pages of my sociology textbook being turned, and of the sound of baby birds in a nest nearby. Though I know that Leo meant it as a term of endearment, I couldn't believe he wouldn't ever, well, consider me more than just a friend because of it. A few seconds (sometimes minutes) pass before -

'I'm sorry, Lunie, you know I don't mean it,'

Another apology.

I sigh. I'm tired of this conversation again. I'm tired of having to deal with the same problem again. I'm tired of people putting me down. I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm tired of trying to look pretty. I'm tired of Leo. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of another heartbreak. I know his apology is genuine. I know he doesn't mean it. I know he's just being the Leo he always is. But somehow his words still continue to haunt me. Maybe it's because it's coming from someone who means to me the most, coming from someone who brightens me up, like the sun does to the moon. Then why am I the only one taking it seriously? Why am I trying to fit into someone else's standards? Why am I so painfully aware of everything but still choosing to be blind?

Why am I not able to love myself even though I want to?

'Luna? You there?', his voice breaks me from my train of thought. Weirdly, he sounds quite scared. 'I didn't realize how much it bothers you, I swear I won-'

Mochi jumps onto the bed and snuggles into my head again, paws in a similar place in my hair. A weird sense of Deja vu washes over me again. And then-

『 pop! the world has reset.』

My eyes opened in fear as a gasp escapes my mouth. I'm sitting on my bed, trying to comprehend what just happened. The curtains flutter with the wind blowing by. The moon stares in curiosity. My phone's on the bedside table. The clock gleams with a bright '3:01 am' displayed on it. And the problem is that I wasn't dreaming, and I wasn't mistaking the time either.

I'm in a time loop.

II. a tub fills with water only to spill it.

I fucking hate whoever wrote Groundhog Day.

Like who decided that? Who decided to say 'Hey, let's make a movie based on time loops!'? 'Let's make a dude live the same day all over again till he gets it right! Let's make him really happy, then really sad!'

Son, I'm this close to pulling an Ides of March on you.

I seem to be looping every hour, more specifically from three in the morning to four. Five hours have passed by, but my clock tells me it's precisely 3:18 am. Great. My dearly detested friend, the moon, is my only companion in this war with time (sorry Mochi). In the five hours that should have gone by, I have accomplished the following:

Two and a half hours of sleep - though I wake up when the clock resets.

Half an hour of revision for that History test I need to write after I get out of this shit.

Thirty minutes of planning a workout, Fifteen minutes of Yoga.

Five minutes of trash talking the moon, Ten minutes of dealing with grumpy Mochi who woke up as I exercised.

Thirty minutes of wondering if Leo's looping with me, and

Half an hour of figuring out what went wrong, and how to make the night perfect.

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to remember anymore. I've tried everything - making notes, scribbling on the wall, writing on myself, engraving things on desk - but none of them seem to make it through when the loop resets. I'm too tired to talk to Leo, knowing very well that he would definitely not believe me. And partly because I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and get hurt again. I'm afraid I'll end up being the insecure bad guy, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves someone better. Someone who's prettier, kinder and happier. Not telling him for the time being also meant that I'll never find out if he was looping with me. But that probably isn't the case, the universe is cruel for a reason. This is perhaps its punishment for me. I must go through this alone. No one's ever been by my side anyways.

I'm as lonely as the moon.

/////-----

Another few hours pass. The pop between every reset scares me lesser and lesser. But my desperation to return back to normal is growing. I've been trying to figure out what went wrong for the past hour in the neighbourhood park. The cold air perfectly paired up with the mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hands. Was it me staying awake this long? Should I have just gone to sleep? There must have been something I did wrong that hour. My heart wishes to call Leo and confide in him. And the more time goes by, the more my mind wishes to oblige to that crazy request.

I pull out my phone, which gleams a bright '3:58 am'. It's almost time for the reset. In two minutes, I'll be magically transported back to my bed. I sigh. I can't take living the same hour again. The hour grips my sanity like it is a play toy. I waste another countless moment wondering where I went wrong.

『 pop! the world has reset.』

Well, I guess there's no place like home. I wonder if Mochi was worried the previous hour when she didn't find me in the bed. Do cats feel worry for their owners? Does Mochi care for me? What kind of a disgusting ship is this? Cringe, cringe, cringe. Shut up, Luna. I bury my nonsensical idea of my cat showing me love for once in the deep pits of my mind, and pretend I never thought of such blasphemy. I shift under my blankets, and decide to sleep through this hour, foolishly hoping that the reset would never take place if I was never awake, though I woke up when the clock reset each time earlier. My eyes look at the clock - 3:05 am.

That's when doorbell suddenly rang. I launch up in surprise. This didn't happen before. My heart begins to pound extremely hard, my head hazed in confusion. I run towards the door as quickly as possible stirring Mochi awake in the process, and fling it open.

It's Leo. And he's in tears.

His eyes are filled with fear, breath unsteady. Beads of sweat line his neck as he tries to get words out. Leo grips my hands tightly, as though he wants me to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. This hasn't happened in a very long time. He's gotten a much better hold on his anxiety in the past few years. I pull him into a hug and mutter words of comfort. His head is leaning on mine, and his breath slows. I tell him we'd be alright, and hum a calming tune. And we stay like that for the next five minutes.

'Luna,', Leo whispers into the night. 'Would you believe me if I told you something crazy?'

'Like what?'

'Like a war against the clock.'

And that's when I knew. Tears start brimming in my eyes as I give out a sigh of relief. 'Like a time loop?', I say as I hug Leo a little tighter. This time I needed one to remind me I wasn't alone. He seems to catch on as well, a sob escapes from him as he melts in. We stay in each other's arms, in each other's comfort - a place where walls were deaf to all the shared secrets, a sanctuary with no limits.

Oh, what I'd do to protect it.

Leo pulls away, his eyes disappear and his lips form into a sheepish grin. His face is puffy from all the crying, but it glows in the soft moonlight. My eyes widen in surprise as he grabs my hand and drags me out the door. I manage to see the clock on the kitchen counter gleaming with a bright '3:15 am.' before blood rushed to my face upon meeting the cold air.

'Where are we going? Are yo- ah it's fucking cold out here!', I complain.

'Ice Cream.' Classic hungry Leo. This boy is a demon.

iii. the twilight hour.

'What's wrong with you?!', I huff as I bend down to catch my breath and hide myself under a tree. Leo, on the other hand, is breathing quite easy, a stupid grin plastered on his face (oh, how I want to punch him). His hands hold up a bag with three tubs of mint chocolate Ice Cream like they're the greatest creation of God. 'Did you really have to steal Ice Cream?! Are you five?', I say as I recall the incident that just took place, how Leo basically ran out the convenience store with the sweet goodies without paying and left me, his dear, penniless (and only) friend as the bait to a potential flat-earther of a cashier (long story, don't ask).

And now we're here, the park I was in the previous hour. There's not a single soul around. The only companion being the moon once again. His smile shines through like the sun, however.

'I'm rweally sowwy, delulu,', he retorts.

'My name is Luna, and no one can ever be as delusional as you, you dill hole.', I say, my ears red.

'Good now, I shalt promoteth thee to 'Deluna'. Thee has't been felicitat'd.'

I click my lips in annoyance. I know quite well that when the clock resets, all the stolen Ice Cream would be back in the freezer. But I try my best to maintain a straight face to show my discontent. That's right Luna, assert your fucking dominance. I notice that his hazel eyes shining with the mischief I'm used to once again. He's back to the loud, obnoxious and teasing Leo he's always been. Leo who's carefree, Leo who's horribly reckless, Leo who finds happiness in uncertainty. My Leo. My lips slowly curl into a smile, and I give in. He's happy, and that makes me happy too. Leo suddenly pulls out his phone.

'Look here, Partner in time.', he says cheekily. I hear a click. My brows wring into discomfort and confusion.

'What? You look pretty in the moonlight.', he states without skipping a beat. There's a million tugs in my stomach, and blood rushes to my bronze skin. Butterflies soon turn into more sinister as I remember our conversation on the phone earlier. My face falls, if only this boy knew what he puts me through. First I'm not good enough, and now I'm pretty? Does he really throw around stuff like that without giving it a second thought? Does he not realize all that he's putting me through?

This is pointless. My feelings for him are pointless. The amount of time I waste on this is pointless. 'Our friendship is pointless.', I say. Regret follows immediately. Leo's face turns grim too; an unreadable expression plastered on his face. I suddenly remember something I jotted down my sociology textbook.

words left unspoken, my hearts screams, my head's in pain, we are in conflict.

Tears well up in my eyes again. This is a conflict, the most peaceful one at that. Terrifying. One that makes you curl into a ball and wish you never existed. One fueled by guilt, by insecurity, by ignorance. I remember the rest of the poem.

one of us was meant to get hurt, almost as though the heavens proclaimed it, on the day of creation. the celestial sky cried tears of gold, for it knew fate was cruel, but humans are crueler.

My hands are getting colder. My breath is hitching as my sobs get louder. Leo rushes towards me and tries to pull me into another hug. As much as I try to resist, he pulls me into his embrace. Fear devours my heart as I realize how I didn't feel at home anymore. I knew this sanctuary was going to break sooner or later. My heart is sick. It pains far too much as it beats in his embrace. Will it stop if I pull away? I try.

It does.

'Luna, what's wrong?!', Leo asks, truly afraid of what was happening.

'Us, Leo. Us.', I reply, voice barely a notch away from a whisper.

'What's wrong with us? We're Leo and Luna! You're the other half of thi-'

'Stop. Please.', I say firmly. My head feels too heavy, my heart too light. The moon shines down on me in its disgusting glory. I can't take it anymore. 'You're the reason I hate the moon, Leo. Because you are the sun. You only shine on me to mock me. To make me feel inferior.'

'What're you talking abou-'

My tongue clicks loudly. 'You're so hypocritical! You're an asshole who makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world, before throwing me out yourself. You make me feel insecure, Leo. I don't feel like I'm myself with you anymore.', I say, vitriol burning my throat. 'You disregard what I feel for you, because I'm the moon. You outcast me, because I'm the moon. You tie me down.

'You remind me of why I'll never shine on my own.'

I look at Leo. His hazel eyes turned dark, head down in shock. There's not a single drop of water in his eyes. He stands under the moonlight in silence. I can hear my heart palpitating.

'Why do you think the Sun shines, Luna?', he whispers. 'Is it to light the day, or to light the night?', he asks, a little louder this time. I open my mouth to answer.

'It's to light the night, Luna.', he interrupts. He knew I'd say neither. The sun shines for himself. He is selfish.

'The sun sheds it's light, because if it didn't, the moon would never-'

'That's exactly the prob-'

'get to see the world.' I stop midway in confusion. What is he saying?

'The sun shines because he wants the moon to see the world, Luna. He shines because if he didn't, the moon would be lonely. He makes sure to shed the perfect amount of light on her, so that she guides the traveler without scalding them, without making them blind.

'If he never shone, he'd have never have found his other half. The sun would have been just as lonely as the moon would have, Luna. The sun and moon are a pair, not because the moon can't shine on her own, but because they are lonely without each other.', Leo says.

And epiphany struck down like lightning. Leo needs me as much as I need him. He'd be just as lonely as I'd been without him. The moon's identity without the sun hadn't ever been her own. It was due to the sun's light she was herself. The sun made her the moon, and the moon made him the sun. They were inseparable, as destiny willed them to be, for they needed each other. For the sun to shine the brightest, and the moon to give comfort. But all that didn't answer why-

'Why did you say I wasn't enough for you?', I say, reminiscing that day in the park. I remember picking out a bouquet of purple lilacs after studying a book about plant symbolism in the library. I spent hours trying to make myself look pretty. I spent a lot of time trying to make up my mind. And everything came crashing down.

'Because you deserve more!', Leo says in defeat, fingers brushing into his hair. 'Do you know how much of a loser I am? You deserve a hunk-a-ilicous person, are you really going to settle for a noodle?!', Leo says, gesturing to his lean figure. As sarcastic as his response seemed, he meant every word of what he said. That's just how Leo is.

'Leo, that's exactly how I've been feeling this whole time.' I pull Leo into a hug.

Leo is no different than I've been my whole life. He's just as insecure and broken as I am, as I've always been. All my life, I'd seen him as a completely different person. We have different hobbies, we have different personalities. But we're still similar in ways that make us, well, us. It's just that our sanctuary needed to break to have it's walls built back stronger. I feel at home again.

'You're more of a sausage though. Alri-ALRIGHT lemme clear up, you're MY sausage okay? The best one in fact, I will use you in all my dishes.', Leo says as I pull out of his embrace and find a stone on the road to attack the disrespectful brat. Leo runs away and makes his way behind the usual Banyan tree at the edge of the park. 'That's literally the worst nickname ever!', I yell as I chase him.

'Mine own dearest sausage I begeth thee to reconsid'r!'

'TRY ME BITCH.'

'Hey, hey wait.', Leo holds down my hands and blocks my attack, and I'm left with no weapon except for the daggers in my eyes I choose to use against him. 'So, what are we now?', he asks.

'We're still Leo and Luna, dumb head.', I say after giving it a thought. Leo opens his mouth to refute, but soon decides against it. I assume he's content with the answer. We were friends, nothing could ever break that. Would we ever be something more? Who knows, maybe we would in the future when we love ourselves a little more, when we're comfortable with who we are, rather than who we're with.

Until then, we are Leo and Luna.

///////------

My eyes flutter open. I am leaning on the trunk of the Banyan tree next to Leo. I find myself in sleepy laughter as I look at his head lodged in between the roots of the tree. And suddenly, I see light in the distance. I immediately wake up from my position near the tree and walk to the edge of its canopy, heart beating in my stomach and look at the sky outside. The dark navy night melts into a light lilac, small streaks of tangerine bordering the the horizon. The birds are beginning to chirp in the trees, though the street lights are still on.

The time loop has stopped.

Meanwhile, Leo had stirred awake. He runs with his eyebrows up in surprise and squeezes the life out of me before his eyes turned dark in fear.

'WE HAVE SCHOOL.', he exclaims. I ignore him, and choose to stare into the sky. I look at the twilight hour. The sun and the moon were side by side, in harmony, like Leo told me. Tears escape my eyes in a sense of accomplishment. I could rest now. I give myself a small hug, and tell myself I'd worked hard. ('LUNA DO YOU REMEMBER THE HAMMURABI CODE.' 'That is not important right now!') The sun rises up, and salvages the few moments he has with the moon. I turn my head to the side and see that the moon looks serene, her light glow slowly fading as she decides to rest too.

But above all, I see that the moon is no longer lonely.

a/n: ahhhh yes if you’ve made it this far, i truly truly appreciate you for reading this, it means a lot to me. the past few days have been a little weird for me, and it took more than just motivation for me to get through writing this. again, thank you to all my beta readers, i really treasure all of you! i’d really love to get an ask about the short story, so if you enjoyed, make sure to send me one! i hope everyone’s staying safe! stay tuned with us because we have another surprise coming soon!

alatcg taglist: @blue-hairbrush, @kaavijournals, @artbyeloquent, @47crayons, @writing-is-a-martial-art

general writing taglist: @shinesundark, @the-writing-avocado, @raenawrites

@original-writing

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girlmostlikely · 2 years

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sorry you had a bad day love :( on women’s day too, very sexist of the universe. hope you have a bette day tomorrow ☀️

Thank you sweet baby. Hopefully today is a better day! I hope your day is beautiful. 🤍

#anonymous

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eloquence-of-felicities · 3 years

Link

Oliver Queen's (Stephen Amell) legacy as the Green Arrow won't live on in another series following his and Felicity Smoak's (Emily Bett Rickards) daughter, Mia (Katherine McNamara).

This doesn't mean that we won't see those characters again elsewhere in the Arrowverse. After all, David Ramsey (who played John Diggle/Spartan on Arrow), along with directing, is set to guest star on Superman & Lois, Supergirl, The Flash, Batwoman, and DC's Legends of Tomorrow. Maybe we'll see Mia, Laurel, or Dinah again in a similar capacity — and hopefully find out if William was ever rescued.

#arrow #olicity #felicity smoak #emily bett rickards #oliver queen #stephen amell #mia smoak-queen #mia smoak #kat mcnamara #katherine mcnamara #green arrow #green arrow and the canaries

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ceo-of-daichi · 3 years

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B,C,E,I,R??

B ~ Birthday?

27th November 1999🌻

C ~ Crushing on?

Celebrity wise ~ Emily Bett Rickards (always😳)

Irl ~ Theres a guy i see all the time at the gym (when its open) and omfg😳 Hes so sweet as well, i wonder how lockdown is treating him... hopefully well🥰

E ~ Easiest Person to Talk to?

I have people i find easy to talk to for different reasons! But for just general conversations definitely @crushzone and @scorpiosanssexy we vc and its meant to be like 10 mins and we end it like 3 hours later😂😂😭 I just don’t have to be anyone else but me around them!

I ~ Ice cream flavour?

Caramel or salted caramel🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 god i loveeeee them

R ~ Reasons to smile?

My friends and family, my moots, Daichi, the fact its nice outside at the moment, the fact i got a pizza in the fridge for tomorrow, the fact i’m gonna be on Nin’s stream tonight

Send me a letter!!

#anon💛#sawamuras big schlong hoes🤩#lydz speaks #ask games✌️

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strangenightsofdaydreams · 4 years

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Happy Birthday Sarah!

@theheavycrown Thank you for existing. That there are so many of us that appreciate this says a lot. Hopefully you had a good day and your body offered respite. You my dear, are a penguin of great significance. So here is your gift- not late, it’s still the 3rd in some part of the world. This ended up a lil over 1K which maybe can be expect to make up for the potential belated-ness.

__________________________

Jughead absentmindedly reaches for his prize. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane is generally stocked but he snoozed on his alarm this morning and ever since his day had been harried. It was imperative he found a book store close by to the subway. He needed to take to get to JB’s dinner on time. And thanks to the brisk pace of his walk, he had- now he could relax for a moment. He jerked back when he touched a soft, warm hand and not the thin paper spine he expected. Pretty green eyes met his as he looked down before he registered any of her other lovely features. The blonde woman that was browsing the nearby shelf had apparently come to a decision while he daydreamed.

“Here.” She spoke into the accumulating silence and Jughead cleared his throat to hide his embarrassment. A second passed and then he fumbled to take the book from her.

“Thank you.” At least his voice kept itself together. He was 26, cracking should not be an issue anymore despite his earlier woolheaded mishap.

“It’s the last one out, are you sure?” He took two steps back to give her space. Sometimes he looked imposing but he was without his leather and at his most spiffy today so hopefully that should do it.

“Oh, I’m sure they have extras in the back. Unless... you don’t want it?”

“I do. Well it’s not exactly for me but yes.”

She laughed, “It’s not for me either. I’m getting a book each for my niece and nephew’s upcoming birthday. I loved this book as a kid so it seemed an obvious choice. It’s an ugly world they’ll need the beautiful themes within to help navigate. But I have weeks, early shopping so go ahead.”

“Thank you.” He scratched the back of his neck, tugging on the edge of his beanie. Jughead felt honored instead of his typical annoyance that she shared.

“It’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow and something this year had me feeling nostalgic. Maybe it’s because she’ll be twenty, no longer a teen. I know she’ll like it. We both have fond memories of when I used to read this to her.” Obviously leaving out how both of their parents were passed out or drinking as they did this. He wasn’t feral enough to not understand polite conversation despite Toni’s teasing. And scowls were adequate communication!

“That’s sweet. May I make a suggestion?”

“Yeah sure, proceed.”

“You should get her something for this year too. If you can financially, to show her you also see her now. And even if she doesn’t subscribe to that reasoning, two presents instead of one is always nice.”

“Huh, alright. Any recommendations?”

“What are her interests?” Her spine straightens and she leans in, the picture of attentiveness.

“She likes rock music, zombie video games... I think she has an interest in historical settings and still reads ya fantasy occasionally. We saw all of the Hunger Games movies in theaters. There were a lot of thoughts to be shared afterwards.”

They laugh. Hers is surprisingly throaty and he adds it to his steadily growing list of things he finds great about this stranger. A big accomplishment for a people hating hermit like him. “JB also is in her college’s feminist union and is majoring in chemical engineering. She’s a bright kid.”

Betty smiles at him and then claps her hands. “Okay so how about-” Betty walks a few rows down and comes back. “Frankenstein. I think she can handle the horror and invasive ramifications of science and consent handled in the book. Sounds up her alley.”

Jughead nods, agreeing while processing that he doesn’t think he’s ever been so attracted to someone. “I’ve read it. I wouldn’t have thought about it but that’s perfect. And by Mary Shelley feminist icon that she is. I recognize teh layers.”

His book muse beams, “I’m so happy to help.” Jughead searches for something to say, not wanting the conversation to end.

“If that’s for your niece, what did you pick for your nephew?

“I’m debating between From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler or A Wrinkle in Time. He is ten but his reading level is a bit higher than average so I think he could handle either.”

“I would wait on A Wrinkle In Time, I believe you about his capability but he might appreciate the themes more in a year. The Mixed Up Files are more exciting without making you think.”

“You know I think you're right Mister…”

“Jones. Jughead Jones.” She nodded grabbing, her second book before turning back to face him. “Betty Cooper at your literary service.”

“Well don’t worry Betts, I’m sure he’ll be ready to read it in no time and you can share your good taste with them more.”

“I may need more advice down the road. Christmas is in four months and all. We could exchange numbers if convenient.”

Jughead smirked, impressed and relieved that she beat him to it. “I would like nothing more, Miss Cooper. Uh, ignore the screen crack.”

They both unlocked and then switched phones, putting in their contacts. He finished putting in his information and then went to home screen startling at the time written.

“Shit. I have to go. I need to make the metro soon. Can’t be late to her party.” Betty handed him his phone back, brow slightly furrowed. “I thought it was tomorrow. I wouldn't have taken up your time otherwise.”

He put his phone in his pocket and pulled up the suspenders, prepping to book it and delighting in her eyes on his arms. “I know, my bad for the confusion. We don’t celebrate the day of- family tradition. And I enjoyed this, don’t feel bad. I have to pay, we’ll talk later.”

The look in her eyes pinned him down. “Don’t be the guy who runs. Walk fast. Bye for now Jug.”

Jughead grinned at her stern warning, he liked her bossy. He rushed to the cashier and made his way down the street, reaching the subway entrance and went on with the normal routine. Even the heat didn’t put him in a bad mood and when he sat down in an almost empty car, he checked his contacts. Betty had put a book emoji next to her name. He hoped she thought his crown was half as cute. He fiddled with his suspenders, unused to having them put on correctly for once and then replied to a couple rapid fire texts from JB’s girlfriend asking about his status. He assured Annie that he would be on time to the restaurant that only seated parties of three if they were all in admittance at once, understanding her anxiety. JB deserved a nice time.

________________________

Jughead left the restaurant hours later, full and happy to see JB bloom under Annie’s loving attention. He took out his phone when he was back on the subway.

JB loved her gifts. And her girlfriend told me about the showing of the original Frankenstein movie at a local art house theater next Friday. Interested?

#Bughead #Bughead fanfiction #Fanfic gift #Bughead fanfic #discord darlings #again sorry about no beta #hope it's up to shape since I was given a good prompt

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ajoblotofjunk · 4 years

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I have lots more Jaime/Brienne fic recs for you for the week! These are my other already-posted recs on Dreamwdith and are mostly AUs with three book canon fics. I think most of these are pretty well-known in the fandom (I was still hitting just highlights at this point, a task I still have not fully completed because this fandom is mostly highlights), BUT hopefully some of these will be new to some of you! The last one is in my Top 3 Jaime/Brienne Fics List, so definitely make time for that one if you haven’t.

What Is True, But Not Ideal by Vera In this fic, Tyrion owns a bar and Brienne goes to work for him before Jaime's name even gets mentioned. I love that she and Tyrion forge a real, solid friendship that has nothing to do with Jaime. The secondary characters are great, the subplots are great, it's beautiful read. CW for one chapter with descriptions of past intense sexual assault plus a plot in the back half that deals with a secondary character and domestic violence. Vändpunkt by @ladyinredfics Jaime and Brienne are roommates who are pining after each other and don't realize it and they go to an IKEA together to buy furniture. I feel like the summary alone should sell you on this fic. I was just very happy reading it. Patience On A Monument by betts In this one, Jaime is an alcoholic and Brienne's best friend who keeps showing up at her door when he's desperate and in need. The tension in this fic was almost unbearable (in a good way); my stomach was a mess through much of it. The end is very well-earned. This fic has really stayed with me, even now. It's Like Weather by ssstrychnine Jaime and Brienne work for a Medieval Knights-type restaurant! Come on! How great is that?! I love how the secondary characters show up in the restaurant setting as well; any story that bundles in 'Brienne finds her family' subplots is a winner. Man of the Hour by @hardlyfatal The author lists this as "sloooooooooooooooooooow buuuuuuurn" and I would agree (though it's still "only" 79k so I've honestly read slower at this point, because this fandom has turned everything I thought I knew about fic reading upside down). ANYWAY. Brienne is a veterinarian and Jaime is the extremely love-starved, needy, and bad-decision-making neighbor that moves onto her apartment floor. Again, great use of the secondary characters (I adore Sandor in this, and Olenna is much more realistically sharp than I often see in fandom's takes) and a whole slew of animal friends that I fell totally in love with. A couple of minor animals-in-danger scenes but NONE OF THEM DIE. Madness by RoseHeart This is a book canon based fic. This is one where they end up on the Quiet Isle and they have to get married so Jaime can keep vigil at Brienne's side when she's injured. Has a lot of very lovely moments and Hyle Hunt gets what's coming to him. Heh. In the Arms of Justice by lodessa This is a sort of book canon-y, sort of show canon-y fic that is labeled as 'PWP with feelings' and that's honestly a good description. What matters here is that if you are into Brienne picking Jaime up and carrying him to bed, well do I have the fic for you! viva las vegas by janie-tangerine Jaime and Brienne meet in Vegas, get drunk, and get married. It's a really fun, relentlessly charming fic that steamrolled me into loving it with how cheerfully it committed to everything. This fic knows what it is and what it wants and I was happy to be led there. you, & you, & you by sapphiretarth Jaime and Brienne are in a relationship already and she gets pregnant and they go to Italy. This is one of the SOFTEST fics I have read maybe ever, even though there is some tension underneath from Brienne and her still coming to terms with what it means to be in love with and loved by Jaime. It's just a very gentle fic, even though it has some sharp points, the fic comes right after and soothes them down. I'll be the frosting on your cupcake, wench by janie-tangerine A bakery AU where Renly and Loras run the bakery and Brienne is the baker and her specialty is cupcakes. This fic is pretty much exactly what you'd expect and it's DELIGHTFUL while doing so. Some lovely scenes with Brienne and Tyrion again, as well as introduction of some of the other secondary characters that often show up in J/B fics in cute ways. Age Gap by ikkiM This is a short, cute AU with an age difference between Jaime and Brienne. Jaime gets glasses because he needs them and he's worried about how Brienne will respond. If Tomorrow by @nicasiosilang I don't even know how to talk about this fic. It's book canon, set in the future after the wars and the heartache, when Jaime and Brienne have survived and taken themselves and their grief and their trauma to live out the rest of their days together on Tarth. It's a love letter to Tarth, it's a moving portrait of warriors trying to learn to rest, it's Brienne and Jaime having been together for years and yet still discovering new pieces of each other. I love this fic DEEPLY. It made me cry unexpectedly by the end and now when I re-read it, I start crying at the beginning. There's also a very emotional pegging scene! So. This fic has everything! Heh. Of all of these, this one is by far my strongest recommend. Nico has a wonderful way with description.

#jaime x brienne #jaime x brienne fic recs #braime #don't forget to leave kudos and / or comments if you do enjoy them!#again i'm sure i'm missing people's tumblr names #feel free to tell me who so i can retroactively add them #spotlight saturday

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athingthatwantsvirginia · 4 years

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Lily Briscoe, Remember?

PART TWENTY-SIX OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: drinking, smoking, plentiful pop culture references

Word Count: 3.7K

Summary: After a visit to a local bar, Ella catches up with Jess and spends a night in Philadelphia.

Twirling her cool water glass around and around on the grimy table, Ella smiled softly when a Strokes song came over the speakers. The bar was some hole-in-the-wall dive a few blocks down from the publishing house, still adorned with St. Patrick’s Day decorations although it was halfway through May. But Ella didn’t mind it. There weren’t rowdy swarms of college students or bachelorette parties. Instead, people in their late twenties sat around in black, square-framed glasses talking in buzzing tones. They had locally-made beer and a small, empty stage with just a stool, where independent artists played on the weekends. The air was salty with fries and early summer excitement. Matthew made conversation with her as Chris and Jess went up to order the drinks. Leaning back against the ripped vinyl booth, Ella listened intently as Matthew, sat across from her in a creaky wooden chair, told her about he and Chris meeting in high school.

“...so, we weren’t in the AV club or anything, but we definitely weren’t on the football team either-”

Chris led the way back to the table with a tray of beers and a hoot of satisfaction, Jess trailing behind his friend and rolling his eyes.

Stopping mid-sentence, Matthew turned to Chris and swiped a drink. Chris sat down beside him and was almost instantly chattering away. Matthew seemed kind, quiet, subdued. A good balance to Chris’s chaotic enthusiasm. Jess slid into the booth beside Ella, shrugging off his suit jacket, flushed in the stuffy air. Their upper arms touched, making her stomach do a flip. Even though it had been years since he lived at Luke’s, Jess still somehow had an aroma of pine.

“So,” Chris began, turning to Ella with a pointed look and a grin, “what do you do, Ella?”

“Oh, um, I’m a waitress.”

“And an artist,” Jess chimed in, taking a sip from his bottle.

Ella rolled her eyes and then shot him a teasing glare. “Not professionally. But I just graduated from Southern Connecticut State last week. Hopefully I won’t be filling sandwich orders my whole life.”

“You graduated already, Doogie?” Jess asked with a pleasant, surprised chuckle.

She shrugged. “Wasn’t too big a deal. I took summer classes and stuff.”

“What’s your major?” Matthew asked.

“Studio art,” she said. “Minor in history, though.”

Jess raised his brows, but said nothing. Apparently she hadn’t gone through only outward changes. He could smell her lavender perfume as he sipped on his cheap, watery beer. It was odd to see her in Keeley’s, a bar he’d frequented since arriving in Philadelphia. The feeling was not quite deja-vu, but his worlds were certainly colliding. In the back of his mind, he wondered where her necklace was, wondered where she was living. It was easy to feel like he knew her, maybe better than anyone, but they hadn’t spoken in so long. She could be married, for all he knew. Scanning her thin hands, he found no engagement or wedding rings. But an uneasiness still sat right under his skin, eager to be resolved.

Crossing his arms, elbows on the table, Chris leaned closer into the conversation. “That’s so cool! Do you have anything lined up? Seems like you should, considering how many people tried to buy your sketches today.”

She scoffed, continuing to turn her glass anxiously. A blush warmed her cheeks, and a nervous smile tugged at her lips as she averted her eyes down to the table. “Sort of. Grad school is where I’m headed now.”

“Really?” Jess chimed in. “Where?”

Clearing her throat, Ella raked a hand through her hair. Though Jess tilted his head at her, she refused to meet his gaze. “It’s funny, actually. I’ve still got some things to work out...but UPenn.”

“No way! That’s right down the road from us!” Chris exclaimed.

Ella’s smile widened marginally, and excitement rose in her chest. “Yeah, it’s weird. I had a few I was choosing between, and Penn reached out and...I only confirmed a couple weeks ago. A few days before I got your invitation in the mail. Since I was coming down here anyway, I scheduled my interview with the Dean for tomorrow.”

“Well, congrats,” Matthew said, raising his bottle.

“Thanks,” she replied, feeling slightly silly as she toasted her water against their beers.

Before another moment had passed, Chris got a page on his beeper. Apparently, the poet who had performed at the open house had left something of his behind and would need to be let in early the next morning. Matthew and Chris began commiserating amongst themselves about the performer, who was apparently less than a joy to work with. Biting on the inside of her cheek, Ella tried to suppress her smile. Too much joy made her nervous. It meant always waiting for the other shoe to drop. She’d had the odd mixture of anxiety and anticipation brewing in her stomach since opening Jess’s package. It was too much of a coincidence for her to be going to a school five minutes away from where Jess worked. Too perfect. She didn’t trust it.

Beside her, Jess was trying equally hard to hold in his emotions. She would be in Philly. Right down the road. She hadn’t been right down the road from him in what felt like forever. There were still so many unknowns. But he couldn’t help the swell of his heart. What were the chances? Plastering on a smug smirk, a mask to hide his exhilaration at her news, he nudged her gently with his elbow.

“So, you’re Philly bound?”

“Seems that way,” she said, nodding.

He hummed in acknowledgement, pausing to gaze at her for a moment. Freckles and Bette Davis eyes and a deep, raspy voice. So different but so familiar. She offered him a tiny smile, caught up in the moment. A swarm of pleasant butterflies fluttered in her stomach, and again, she wished they could kiss. Inside their private world, as they once had been.

“Y’know, I think it was fate,” Jess said, smirk growing. “Us both ending up here.”

She snorted a laugh and shook her head slightly. “Not all that idealist bullshit again, Mariano.”

“Hey, not everything changes,” Jess shrugged, taking another sip.

“Guess not,” she said quietly, a fond sparkle in her hazel eyes. “But I’d expect nothing less from a Hemingway fetishist.”

Jess rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Stevie Nicks.”

Instead of retorting, Ella snatched the beer sitting before Jess and took a long sip. Setting it down in front of him again, she winked and then began to hum along to Julian Casablancas’s lyrics.

. . .

“I’m serious. I was really planning on just getting a motel,” Ella insisted.

Shushing her, a finger on his lips, Chris shook his head. He stood in the tiny kitchen, rummaging through the rusty fridge for some drunk food. Matthew was tipsy, and had already retreated to his room. Chris, however, had managed to get absolutely wasted. They’d practically dragged him up the stairs in Truncheon to the apartment above, while he babbled loudly, complaining about his boyfriend being out of town for the open house. Now, as Jess and Ella argued about her sleeping in the apartment, he offered slurred interjections and cackles off to the side.

Jess, having only drunk two beers over the course of the day, rolled his eyes at his friend. “Go to bed, man.”

“Make me, Jess,” Chris replied jovially, retrieving a box of fried chicken from behind the half-and-half. Straightening up, he shot them both a smug grin and made for the bedroom he shared with Matthew. “Have fun, kids.”

“Good luck fighting that sweater off your head,” Ella quipped, not able to stop the words before they left her mouth. Chris, for all his exuberance, was wearing deceptively stuffy clothes. A button-up with a patterned sweater over it, khakis.

Again, Chris only laughed. “She’s feisty. Let’s keep her forever.”

Smiling thinly, Ella gave him the finger. He blew her a kiss before entering the dark room and shutting the door loudly behind him. Ella winced slightly. She knew Matthew was probably already asleep in one of the room’s twin beds.

Jess ran a hand down his face, standing amid the cluttered mess of their living room.

Ella turned back to Jess, crossing her arms over her chest as an amused crease formed between her brows. “How’d you end up living with them again?”

“Long story.”

“I would imagine.”

“He’s usually not quite so intolerable, but it’s been a big day,” Jess said apologetically. “And he’s still super pissed his boyfriend had to go outta town for work.”

Ella shrugged. “Hey, no problem. I like them. But, yes, it has been a big day. And I don’t want to keep you up any longer. So, why don’t I just stay at a motel?”

Shaking his head, Jess gestured for her to follow him and led the way to his bedroom. “Yeah, right. It’s past midnight. You can just crash with me. Not like we haven’t shared a bed before.”

A heavy sigh escaped her lips. “Are you sure? At least let me take the couch. I’ve been sleeping on one for two years, anyway.”

“At Lane’s?” Jess asked, switching on the ceiling light as they entered.

Surveying the bedroom, a smile immediately came to Ella’s lips. The living room was an absolute mess, but he’d managed to keep his own room decently clean. In the small space, he had only a queen-sized bed, pushed against the wall with the windows, and a dresser, on top of which his boombox sat. Piles of books and CDs littered the scratched wood floor, mostly in the free corners. A framed poster of Nietzche hung above his bed, and she burst out laughing when she saw it, before she could help herself.

“What?” Jess asked, brows furrowed.

She pointed to the poster, then bit down on her thumb nail to stifle her giggles. “Nothing, I’m just glad you’re becoming self-aware.”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Already overstaying your welcome, Stevens. The bathroom’s the first door on the left when you walk into the apartment. You can get changed, brush your teeth, whatever.”

Nodding, Ella slipped off her shoes near the door and put down her heavy shoulder bag. It only took a minute of rifling through before she found the pajamas and toothbrush she’d packed for the short trip. Since she was little, she couldn’t fall asleep before brushing her teeth first. Clutching the supplies in her arms, she turned back to Jess. He’d taken off his suit jacket and tossed it down on the bed, was unclasping his watch and setting it down on the dresser. He looked so grown up in the yellowish overhead light, bright against the dark green walls.

“This is really okay with you, Jess?” she asked, sounding shyer than he’d ever heard.

“Yeah,” he replied, flashing her a reassuring smile. “What kind of host would I be otherwise?”

Smiling back, Ella nodded again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

As she left the room, Jess let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in and ran a hand over his mouth. He thought back to the night she’d let him sleep over, dragged him from the freezing back seat of his old car into her warm bedroom. It was the least he could do. Truly. But anxiety squeezed his insides tightly. He tried to shake it off. Ella herself had said he didn’t need to be nervous. He changed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt quickly, running his hands through his neat hair and turning it messy. When she returned, face washed and teeth brushed, he was just flicking on his bedside lamp and pulling back the blue comforter. He recognized the Bowie t-shirt she wore from some vague memory.

“No KISS shirt?” he asked.

She chuckled as she stuffed her dress and toothbrush into her bag near the door. “Oh, I never travel with that. Couldn’t bear for it to get lost.”

“Oh, right, my mistake,” Jess said. “You can turn out that switch, if you want.”

Ella turned off the overhead light, left only in the glow of his nightstand lamp. Before the nausea could overtake her, she powered through the shakiness of her hands and came to sit across from him. It didn’t need to be strange. She’d just gotten her best friend back. And they could sleep in the same bed as they had so many times before.

“Since I’m already taking advantage of your hospitality,” she began, eyeing the half-empty pack of Marlboros on the floor by the bed, “could I maybe borrow a cigarette?”

Smirking fondly, Jess nodded, reaching down to grab the pack and the lighter. He lit hers for her as she held it between her lips, and then his own. He cracked open the window and flicked ash out into the May midnight.

“What’s got you smoking?” he asked.

She sighed through her nose in white streams. “My interview with the Dean tomorrow. I mean, I’m already in. And they contacted me because of my portfolio. But, I don’t know. Anything could happen.”

“But it won’t,” Jess said. “It’ll be fine. You’re Lily Briscoe, remember?”

A weak smile crossed her face and she gave an unconvincing nod. Then, she looked back up at him curiously. “What about you? Still smoke as much as you did in high school?”

Jess shook his head. “No. Almost never. But I may have panicked about this whole open house thing last night.”

“Looked like it went great,” she said, tapping ash out the window, sitting cross-legged.

Shrugging, Jess leaned back against the wall behind his bed. “We’ll see what that lady from the paper writes.”

“Who cares what she thinks?” Ella asked.

“People who could spend their money here,” Jess answered, chuckling breathily.

Waving a dismissive hand, Ella took a final drag of her cigarette. She crushed it out on the windowsill, where she saw the small, circular remnants of smokes past, before throwing butt out the window into the dumpster below. “Maybe. Seems like you’ve got a pretty decent underground following already.”

“And you call me the idealist,” he said, shaking his head and tossing out his own cigarette.

She laughed lightly, following Jess’s lead as he closed his window again and got under the covers. Soon, they faced each other with their heads against Jess’s pillows. They smelled like him. After shutting off his lamp, Jess regarded Ella in the dim light. He felt like he’d stepped through a door into a memory or a dream.

“Speaking of Truncheon, tell me about the book,” she said quietly.

“Which book?”

“Your book, Sherlock,” she teased.

He sighed, swallowing dryly. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” she replied. “I mean, when did you write it? How did you write it? Did ever end up getting a computer, or-”

“Woah, Stevens,” he interrupted, snickering at her rapid-fire questions. “I started writing it when I was still in Stars Hollow.”

She furrowed her brows. “What?”

“Yeah. That notebook I came back for when I picked up my car? I sort of...started before I left. I took a break in California. But I started taking advantage of the library computers when I got back to New York.”

“So, it really was an On The Road thing.”

“Not quite so ambitious,” he said. “But, once I read that Stephen King book you got me...I just got started.”

“And you never told me?” she asked.

He only shrugged in response.

Ella shook her head slightly, watching him with furrowed brows. “Curiouser and curiouser, Mariano.”

“I wanted to surprise you with it.”

“Well, you did.” She thought she saw a flush rise to his cheeks, but couldn’t quite tell in the low light. Something indecipherable flashed across his eyes as he hesitated. She took the lead instead. “Hey Jess?”

“Hm?”

“I’m so fucking proud of you.”

Jess rolled his eyes, really blushing now. His face went scarlet, and he uttered a nervous chuckle. “Thanks, Daria.”

“Anytime, James Dean.”

Ignoring the flip of his stomach, Jess let the compliment roll off him like water and faced her earnestly. “Did you say you were still livin’ with Lane?”

She nodded. “Yeah. It was just...easier than getting my own place. A smaller chunk of the rent to pay. Especially with how many classes I was taking, and it was right across the street from Luke’s. At some point, we upgraded to a futon, so it was a little easier to sleep.”

Jess snorted. “I’m pretty sure you could fall asleep in the middle of a tornado, get transported to Oz, then back to Kansas, and wouldn’t wake up the whole time.”

“Be that as it may,” she said pointedly, “it was pretty okay. But Lane and Zach are getting married in a couple weeks. It would be time to move out even if it wasn’t for grad school.”

“Lane and Zach?” Jess asked, brows furrowed in surprise. “What about that Dave guy?”

Ella sighed softly. “He went to California for college. Eventually, they broke up. And she was on and off with Zach and...I don’t know. He’s not the worst guy. And I know there’s no talking her out of it, anyway.”

“People are gonna do what they’re gonna do,” Jess agreed, thinking back to his own mother’s last wedding.

“I’ll miss her, though. Without Lane, I would probably still have majored in history. Ended up teaching at Stars Hollow High.”

“No way.”

“I’m not so sure. But just seeing Lane play with the band all the time...she looked so happy. Even though she had no money and her mom was pissed at her. I thought maybe actually trying to do what you love wasn’t such a crazy idea,” she explained, voice husky and tired, but so lively.

It made Jess smile. “That’s great, Eleanor.”

She shrugged again and cleared her throat, wincing slightly. “Ugh, Jesus. Smoking is never worth it. I don’t think I’ve smoked since...since the last time we saw each other. The morning after you left.”

His face fell. There it was. Finally. “I’m sorry, Elle.”

“For what?” she asked dismissively. The past was past.

“For that night. Everything. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“It’s okay, Jess.”

“Luke gave me this stupid self-help book and I read it and we kinda went to the wedding together and I got...mixed up.”

Smiling softly, Ella shifted in her spot to move a little closer to him. “I’m gonna need more details on that self-help book later.”

He uttered a self-conscious scoff.

“But, really Jess, it’s okay. I understand. And...I just...I wasn’t ready,” she said finally, struggling for her words. “After I moved out of my dad’s house...I still needed Lane. And Lorelai. And Luke. I always thought getting away would fix everything. But...I wasn’t ready for you.”

A sad smile tugged at his lips. “I don’t think I was ready for you, either.”

Breathing deeply, Ella let the moment pass between them. Forgiveness, maybe? On both sides? She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but she knew it made her feel calmer. Maybe ripping old wounds open was worth it if it meant they would finally get the chance to heal.

“I bet you started breaking hearts when you got here though. What with the starry-eyed starving artist thing you’ve got going on,” she said. She knew it was a flimsy attempt at being sly, but she just couldn’t bring herself to ask him outright. And he was letting her sleep in his bed. That was a positive sign. But she needed to know for sure.

He chuckled slightly and shook his head. “Not really. Turns out, people don’t flock to the guy with nothing but a shitty final draft and a duffel bag to his name.” Then, after a beat of silence, sirens blaring from somewhere off in the distance of the city, he spoke again. “What about you?”

The inquisitive, almost hopeful, tone in his voice made her heart skip a beat. “Nothing extraordinary. A couple dates. Guys. Girls. Never got anything to stick.”

“Hm.” Jess paused, watching Ella watch him.

The sound of the singing crickets mixed strangely with the murmur of the city, even in the early Monday morning hours. Ella tried to remember each detail of the present moment. Lying beside Jess in Philadelphia, preparing to go to grad school, finally out from under the thumbs of her father and Stars Hollow. And in love. She decided on it finally. Nothing had changed. She loved Jess as she had for so long, even if she had never truly realized it. Maybe she had, but was too scared to admit it. She thought back to the day he took her to the Met, riding back home in his car, nothing but the dark, empty highway around them. She’d almost said it then. But she hadn’t. Even then, though, she’d been completely his. All or nothing. Do or die.

Slowly, she brought her hand out from under the covers and placed it on his cheek. She stroked his stubbly skin with her thumb. The boy who’d turned into a man all on his own, who had always been so guarded and so kind. Who gave her a bed when she was drunk and bought her charcoals on Valentine’s Day and took her to museums and wrote books for her and hung her drawings on his wall. Who she had taken to a private movie and driven to the emergency room and kissed as an Interpol song played and brought in from the cold. The give and take which had always been there, making her feel safe. Easy. Home.

Taking a moment to close his eyes, Jess quieted all the thoughts screaming in his head.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you too,” he replied, too overwhelmed to say much of anything else. He remembered the night on the bridge when they’d decided to try together. How the nerves had made his stomach churn. But she’d taken his hand in hers. She’d made the first move. And made his whole being feel calm. She had cared for him when he couldn’t care for himself. It made him feel like a teenager again. Her touch. Her voice. Her mind.

He wound his arm around her waist and brought her closer, hugging her tightly. They were silent and comfortable. Eventually, Ella’s breathing deepened and Jess felt her muscles relax, holding her. Outside, he could see the full moon reflecting light against a clear night sky. And he felt so content he could barely shut his eyes for a second, fearful of missing anything.

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