#how healing how relevant to my interests

[ziskandra]

listen, listen

I know this is gonna be a controversial take, but the more I think about it, the more obsessed I am with the idea of Varric voluntarily helping The Crimson Knight (especially in a worldstate where Hawke was left in the Fade).

I’ve talked before about how I view Meredith as the type of person who is motivated by her desire to protect her own at all costs, and how this leads her down the path of Well-Intentioned Extremism, and culminating in becoming the embodiment of the uh, Knight Templar trope.

And Varric is obviously motivated by his motivation to protect Hawke: he shielded them from the Inquisition, and when push came to shove and he was forced to expose Hawke to the Inquisition anyway, it can result in Hawke’s death. The Inquisition fails Hawke, who is basically Varric’s moral compass — without Hawke’s influence, he defaults to siding with the templars at the end of DA2.

Most of the Inquisitor’s inner circle scatters over Thedas and Varric returns to Kirkwall. Varric loves Kirkwall; he’s a Kirkwaller through and through: even though he’s never envisioned nor wanted a life of politics, he becomes the fucking viscount, because there’s nobody else left who wants one drop of the poisoned chalice of that role.

And Kirkwall is a city that has always been dependent on its templars for protection. They are the city’s military force, and the city is noticeably weaker once the templars abandon it — depending on world state, it can lose a significant portion of its territory to one of Varric’s former companions. If someone he knew and trusted can do that to Kirkwall, who else might take advantage of Kirkwall in its weakened state?

Varric is isolated and alone, away from anyone who might be able to help him see the situation in a different light: his main support network is Aveline and Seneschal Bran, neither of whom are known for their ardent support of mage rights. They’re doing their best to clear Kirkwall of the impacts of the war, of the red lyrium, and even though they’re doing their best to avoid exposure, being around that much red lyrium cannot be healthy. Slowly, the paranoia and increased penchant for violence settle in. It becomes impossible to resist spending more time around the substance — and sometimes, it talks! And it sounds like Meredith Stannard.

Varric is desperate and scared and has lost everyone he has ever loved. The Inquisition has been downsized or disbanded, and his only purpose is to serve his city: the same intention with which Meredith started, the same intention and fears that the red lyrium feeds upon in them both.

Varric fears becoming his parents: people who failed to protect him because they were too caught up in their past mistakes.

But sometimes, as people, in our attempts to avoid our fears, we end up barreling into them headfirst instead.

[administer-distractions]

.

[fushiglow]

Gojō Satoru's rude awakening

I'm refusing to let myself seriously entertain the possibility that Gojō can come back after chapter 236. However, that's because I'm trying to protect my future self from disappointment, not because I think it's implausible — and I really want to talk about this image!

A couple of days ago, @runabout-river shared an interesting theory about what might happen next for Gojō. The post itself is well worth a read, but it was the choice of the above image that really set my mind alight. This scene is fresh in our minds after the anime adaptation of Hidden Inventory, and timing is clearly never an accident with Gege Akutami. So, why is it relevant now?

We see Gojō giving himself over to his past, lost in his happy dreams of his youth, only for Megumi — Gojō's first student and a symbol of the future that he envisions — to bring him back to the present by telling Gojō, "You're the one who called us here, please don't go dozing off."

In other words, "You're the one who dragged us into all of this, don't go pretending this isn't reality just because it's nicer in the past."

In my immediate reaction to 236, I said:

Gojō's dying bloody smile shows he's at least happy in his final moments. [...] Although, if Gojō actually is at peace in death, maybe that's the reason Gege will bring him back. He'll *never* let that man be happy, I swear.

It was just a joke, but seeing @runabout-river's post made me realise that Akutami has already set a precedent for 'punishing' Gojō for looking backwards. When he's dreaming about his past, Megumi scolds him and brings him back to the present. When he 'lets his mind wander' to his blue spring in Shibuya, he literally gets locked in a box where time doesn't pass, only to immediately find himself at the bottom of Japan's deepest ocean trench when his students bust him out to fix the problem he created.

As a side note, in both of these moments, the anime adaptation played a melancholy version of Gojō's Limitless theme — the audio representation of Gojō's youth. I'll eat my hat if it doesn't play again when chapter 236 is eventually adapted (I shared some more insights into some of the easter eggs hidden in the season 2 score in my mini review of the Hidden Inventory soundtrack if you wanna read).

If Gojō dies here, looking backwards to his youth, then he's taking the easy way out and that's what I find hardest to swallow about 236. Gojō leaves what is potentially the most difficult conversation he'll ever have — telling Megumi the truth about his father — to Shōko. He leaves his students to deal with the fallout of his failure to cremate Getō's body. He's saddling the people he loves with the responsibilities he leaves behind, and that's not fair.

However, we won't know if that's what's happened for sure until the whole story is told. Gojō doesn't mention his students in this chapter, and lots of people were bewildered that he seems unconcerned about their safety in a world without him. While that could simply be explained by his faith that they've "got it from here", there's a chance that he genuinely didn't think about it and he's about to get a rude awakening as his punishment — hence, "I pray that this isn't just a delusion".

I would *adore* it if Shōko dragged him back to life kicking and screaming, hauling him away from his pleasant fantasy of youth to tell him, 'No, you and Getō don't get to leave me behind to pick up the pieces again'. Because isn't that Shōko as a character? The one who's left to pick up the pieces in their wake? The one to heal the wounds and lay the bodies to rest while everyone forgets she's even there?

It would be the most character development she ever receives, and I'd love to see how Gojō and Shōko's dynamic changes when he's not the 'Strongest' anymore. So, in Shōko's own words:

[greenboyfriend]

choose a fantastic green thing (tarot reading)

"what do you need to know?" image 1: ahh, a classic. woman with fish. iridescent fish, no less. image 2: women want him, men want to be him. whether you love him or hate him, you can't deny... he is a bug. image 3: the bowl. image source not everything may resonate with you, and that's ok! take what does & leave the rest. don't force it.

1.・。.・゜✭

hello friends. what a nice pull! you may be giving or receiving a gift as an act of charity or kindness. it seems like you’re unaware of something, but it’s not a bad thing. consider it blissful ignorance. it may be wise to stay in this state, shunning negativity/corruption. also, some of you may be dealing with children/ a child? maybe someone is having a baby?!

nevertheless, you’re trusting your intuition at this time, and it’s serving you. however, you may be a bit apprehensive about a change/transition you’re going through. know that it’ll happen no matter what you do! you’ll have to eliminate excess one way or another, cutting down to the bare essentials. it’s scary to go through change where you’re unsure what will happen, but you’ve got to do it at some point.

and anyway, you’ve got your intuition at your side. tune in with yourself however you know best, whether that be taking a walk outside, listening to your favorite song, etc, it will help you to regroup.

being sympathetic and loving towards others will also work in your favor. try to open up, and give others what you would like to receive yourself. “forgiving and forgetting” may also be relevant for some of you.

(6 of cups, death reversed, ace of cups)

2.・。.・゜✭

holy FUCK, you need to pump the brakes. holy FUCK, whatever it is, SLOW THE HELL DOWN!!! four of swords literally came flying out of the deck before i even got the chance to shuffle. take this as the universe/your future self urging you, begging you, pleading on hands and knees, to CHILL OUT!

yes, we all know you are very determined and forthright. yes, we all know it, and we all know that has turned out very well for you in other situations. however. at this point, you’re gambling whether things will go your way, and you can tell. loosen your grip on those reigns! resting ain’t so bad!! not every moment needs to be jam packed with activities.

i feel like you know that, but you don’t want to accept that it’s true, or can’t. despite this, you’re feeling the effects. the 10 of swords spells exhaustion & burn out– finding yourself depleted, full of swords, and on the ground (in vain); all the while, the call for action has not even arrived yet. 

consider yourself. if you need to have a goal, think of it this way: how can you most effectively relax? what activities (or lackthereof) will make you feel the most refreshed when the time comes to get moving again? in a sense, take all the anxious energy you’re feeling, and put it to use by taking care of yourself. you’re not going to be able to succeed in the way you want to if you’re completely exhausted from ignoring your own needs.

so relax! if you’re not sure how, beg the universe for help. that’s what i did, and now, i have a cat. 

(the chariot reversed, 4 of swords, knight of swords, 2 of wands, 10 of wands)

3.・。.・゜✭

your cards strike me as very sweet, my bowl lovers��� after going through a trauma in your past, you’re working towards healing by opening up to those around you. now is a great time to be intimate, and not just in the romance way! maybe you’re interested in moving forwards with this, but you aren’t sure which path (which person/people, perhaps) to take. not to fear, however!! page of cups is here! let your heart/intuition lead you, and don’t be afraid to have some fun with it.

consider your emotions exactly as they are: does this person make you feel happy? secure? take your knee jerk reactions and mix them with your observations. after that, the choice should be clear.

six of swords is not always the most fun of cards (typically denoting healing, sloughing through the slop, ect) but trust that where you’re going certainly is… a blast, that is!! it may be a celebration you’re heading towards, but more than anything, it seems like you’ll gain a new sense of freedom. with the page of cups and six of swords present, this is likely how you approach your feelings & relationships, and how they’ve been impacted by your past. expect to shed some light on these patterns, and even overcome them entirely!*

these last two cards cement this message. if you go after what you want, you’re certain to meet success! it can be scary, and it might take a while, but keep trying! you can do this!!!

*for the time being, anyway. progress is not linear! sometimes it's 2 steps forwards to go 1 step back and that's ok!!!

(4 of wands reversed, page of cups, 6 of swords, 7 of cups reversed)

(pulled later: 6 of wands reversed, page of pentacles)

Ws all around my friends

[hadesoftheladies]

if you're a radfem (or feminist in general) chances are you're dealing with these: repressed anger and the effects of gaslighting

if you're exhausted a lot (without strenuous physical activity and lack of sleep), find yourself having outbursts of strong emotion, feeling desperate for a form of escape, fantasizing about drastic measures, anxious and "forgetful" about memories you have, nervous about speaking about your experiences . . .

here's some tricks on how i've been coping:

-boundaries. if you can cut off people (irl or online) that cause you to spiral into hate, frustration, anger at their ignorance/malice, do it. even if it's a musician whose one song you like. or your brother or dad. limit time as much as possible with them. the less access they have, the less relevant they become, the more energy you conserve.

-do art! create something, it doesn't matter what it is. express those emotions! make sure you're doing it in a judgement-free zone. it's important you don't become a critic at this time. do messy, honest art (sometimes i write short scenes of gay/lesbian characters to cope with the homophobia in my life, and it makes me feel MUCH better and less cynical, sometimes you need to create beauty to remember it exists in the world)

-get out! get out into nature, if you can. if you can't immerse yourself in some form of it. try watching a potted plant for a while or watch insects. take interest in the mundane aspects of life. see that leaf curl? that ant? you're part of that. when you see the clouds, remember they are part of the cycle. the earth grows into its beauty as you do. the moon is the sky's cycle tracker. you belong to this world. you belong in it. this is your home. revel in it.

-if you can, and if you want to, hang out with animals. animals are great companions with none of the misogyny, internalized or otherwise! they don't mind if you cry, either. seriously, if you need non-draining, non-complicated companionship, animals are a good option. it's also good to remember you're a simple animal sometimes, with simple needs. sometimes all you need is a nice belly rub and a little treat.

-cultivate female friendships where it's safe to rant and also not all about ranting. your friendships should be a comfort, not a chore. you need irl community. if you can access it at this time, if you can find a way to cultivate it, please do. it may save you

-it is okay to enoy things despite the evil in the world. you don't have to be an activist 24/7. go watch your favorite movie. listen to your favorite comedian. and let down your guard while you're enjoying that little something. it's important you don't fall into analyzing things.

-for the gaslighting, start having conversations where you make it explicitly clear that you want the other party to ONLY listen. also, JOURNAL, even if it's just a paragraph or two sentences. write down the small important facts of your day. you'll either build a more reliable memory or come to see how reliable your memory is. just don't hang out with people that are constantly testing you. that is not an environment where you develop healthy trust in yourself.

-fight back! these are some ways to heal from the bruising of the world, but honestly? you need to acknowledge how RIGHT and GOOD your anger is. and one of the best ways to do that is to fight back! do something that addresses part of the injustice your heart is screaming about. it doesn't have to be big, it just needs to help someone and address the situation. address the alarms in your brain telling you something isn't right and you have to do something about it. scratch that itch! do that something. you will feel really good

please feel free to add any other tips you guys may have for cultivating joy, hope and energy, because we don't have to be miserable while/for doing the right thing

[lovelywritinglady]

You know this been crossing my mind but this is a request but short here is the new request is short if you think about

Where tengen was fighting daki and gyutaro but he didn't know about a new demon sibling this one is far stronger and well this man fall in love with this demon

If is possible if that the demon is a another male but much more bild then daki and gyutaro

( and if possible tengen as a genderfluid)

Just in case this mysterious demon is a male reader or y/n

I'm sorry 🙏 if I'm asking much but this cross my mind so forgive me and have a goodnight/ day

This is super interesting, so I’ll do my best to make it work.💜

Another One?

Female Tengen Uzui x Male Demon Reader

Angst, Kind of Fluffy, Tengen having a crush on reader. Badass demon reader. Pretty fluffy and reader being indifferent to his siblings. I changed it up a little from the prompt.

Tengen Uzui pov

The battle was over and our wounds were too great. The entertainment district was in ruins now, but at least those pesky demons were killed. The brother took my hand and my eye, but other than that I'm just fine. Especially after Tanjiros sister, Nezuko, healed me. My husbands were releved and so was I. The boar head kid and the ugly one were pretty roughed up as well, but they were still alive. I tossed my head back against the wall with a sigh. My husband Sumio was still crying on my chest, Makio was checking my injuries, and Hino was touching my face gently. I was glad that I was still alive so I could still be with them, my sweet husbands. Just then, I started shaking as a deep chuckling voice as steps approached us. Groining, I got up despite the protests from my husbands, ready for another fight.

"Hey, no need to stand up pretty lady." The voice said.

As the footsteps got closer, my worst fear came true, another upper rank demon. He was tall and well built with large shoulders and a small waist. His hair was h/c and his eyes were a vibrant shade of green and e/c. He wasn't ugly like the other demons I just fought and I found myself surprised that a demon could even be handsome.

He then kneeled down and smirked at me. As his eyes takes across my battered body. Unfortunately, this caused a blush to grace my pale bruised skin. My mind was in a frenzy not just because of the fight, but because of the sight before me. He might have been the best looking demon I've ever seen. Hell, he even put humans to shame, except for my husbands of course.

"Get the hell away from us." Makio threatened in a protective stance.

"Woah there, I'm not here to hurt ya. I just want to talk." The demon said as his eyes never left mine.

"Who the hell are you?" I coughed

"Y/N, and those two demons you just killed were my siblings. I just came to say thank you." Y/N stated sitting down.

"Wait, why are you thanking me." I asked

'Because sweetheart, I really hated those two. Always nagging at each other. Especially Daki, gods she was a pest." Y/N groaned

"But they are your siblings, you shouldn't say that." Tanjiro yelled at him.

"Hush now kid, save your strength. They weren't much of siblings to begin with. Shouldn't love someone if they refuse to love you back." Y/N proclaimed with an 'I don't give a fuck attitude'.

"Are you gonna try and kill us?" I questioned him

"Nah, you're not really worth my time. It's a shame though, I watched you fight and I gotta say I'm impressed. Not a lot of people who fought my little brother managed to walk away alive, let alone kill him. Although, no one has ever come close to beating me either." He boasted.

"Thanks, I guess." I said

"Anytime sweet heart. Say, you want those wounds healed?" He questioned scooting closer.

"Do not touch Lady Tengen!" Hino screamed pointing his blade at him.

"Calm down handsome, I'm not gonna kill him." he yawned

"How do I know its not a trick?" I asked confidently. He then came closer, much to the protests of my husbands. Y/N then lifted his hand and tilted my chin up so he could look in my good eye.

"It's a shame that my brother had the audacity to take out of of these pretty eyes. Eyes like these should never be hurt." He cooed

His other hand then made it way to my stomach and glowing light appeared out of his hand. It was slightly painful, but that feeling was overshadowed by the way he was looking at me. My blush was even deeper now and I felt myself wanting nothing more than to feel his lips on my cut lips. His other hand was still on my chin as his eyes never left mine.

"Close your eyes." He commanded

As I closed my eyes, I could feel his blood demon art working through my body. It felt as though he was reconstructing every cell and replacing it with a stronger new one. It was a strange sensation, but one that left me wanting more.

"Now, let me see those pretty eyes of yours." He cooed

Opening my eyes, I looked around me seeing the releaved faces of my husbands and the kids. I looked down at my hand to see if it was still gone. Except, it was now back, nail polish and all. It was like magic and I felt myself for the first time in my flashy life, being fully and completly thankful to a demon. I looked up to see his towering figure doing the same to my husbands and then to the kids. A wide smile graced my face, knowing that they had recovered.

"Well, I'm off then. The sun is almost up and I really don't want to end up like my siblings." He stated smiling down at me.

"Wait-" I yelled getting up and making my way to the demon.

"Hmm what is it pretty girl? Ya sad to see me go." He asked

"Absolutely not." I lied

"Then what is it?" He cooed

"Thank you." I whispered

"What was that?" He asked bring up one of his hands to cup his left ear as he smirked.

"Oh you heard me." I sassed

"Whatever, I gotta get goin, see ya." he said as he began walking away.

"Thank you!" I exclmained rolling my eyes

"Anytime, pretty lady." He screamed back

"My name is Tengen Uzui, you oaf." I sassed putting my hand on my hip.

"See you around beautiful Tenge Uzui." He responded and in a flash he sped away from my sight.

"Lady Tengen, what just happened?" Sumio questioned with a tearstained face.

"Honey, I've got no idea." I said thinking to myself the same thing.

These last few days were nothing but chaos. I went from losing a hand and an arm, to them magically appearing back in moments. And everyone's wounds disapearing as if in thin air. I stood there as the sun peaked through the mountains questioning if I it was real. And a horror of a thought came across my mind. Was I falling in love with a demon?

Thank you so much for reading!💜And thank you to @bendymonter for requesting. Hope you enjoyed this one.

Please feel free to request, comment and reblog

Click here to see what I’ll write for and HERE for my master list.

•I do NOT own any characters except Y/N•

-L.W.L

[evangelifloss]

Oh my God guys they actually chose a child actress for presumably Maria. This is fantastic news

Maria's bond to Shadow and relevance to his character, is intrinsically tied into the anti-military message of the OG SaB2 storyline. Ageing her up would have been tragic, of course, but it wouldn't carry the same weight. Maria didn't choose to live on the ARK, she wasn't an adult who was in charge of how she wanted to live or where she wanted to go. Gerald Robotnik made those decisions for her with her best interests at heart as any good parent (or in this case, grandfather) would do. She was terminally ill. She was on the ARK so that she could receive immediate treatment for her terminal illness once Robotnik found a cure via Project Shadow. And you know, the ARK would've been an incredibly sterile place-- another safeguard to keep her alive. It's even said the lighter gravity on-board helped ease her progressing disease.

And due to decisions made by the U.S Military based on arbitrary reasoning, they shot her. Point blank. She had no weapon, she was running away, and she was twelve years old.

She was only on the ARK because the same people that authorised her murder, had authorised Project Shadow ergo, the ARK, to begin with.

Robotnik wanted to heal. To help. He took the offer from the U.S Military to lead the Project, because an 'Utimate Life-Form' would theoretically be medically Perfect. No genetic mishaps, no illnesses, viruses, or anything to threaten its life outside of physical attacks. Something like that, could become a blueprint for cures. He could cure Maria, and ontop of that, start to heal others like her.

The caveat of course, was to create a lifeform with immortality and he decided if there was a chance to give his granddaughter an opportunity to grow up and see adulthood, the price was worth paying.

However his experiments whilst chaotic in nature did too well and the whole thing was shut down. All personnel related to Project Shadow with the exception of Robotnik himself, were to be killed. Age, race, relation, rank, if you worked on Project Shadow or knew what it was, you were to be shot on sight.

And that's why sonic/shadow fans go so rabid for ANY Sab2 content as this backstory ties into the whole plot of the game whose main links run straight to Maria Robotnik's fate.

Granted, it has become somewhat of a meme regarding how many times we get to see her die and in how many formats of that horrific sequence of events but the root message behind it carries more weight than many post Sab2 games. In fact, we rarely get to see such narrative driven themes from SEGA due to its constant mis-handling of the sonic franchise.

So yea, shoot that blond child on screen in cinemas. I want that white girl ELIMINATED on screen in front of parents who thought it was going to be a "lol sonic go fast" movie. The Masses Must Know that Sonic games Can and Will Go Hard (when Sega puts effort in.)

[lakesbian]

alright this one is getting its own post instead of a reblog on a post that is Entirely Not About That. presenting the 'what if we put amy and alec in a room together' manifesto because the thing is that it is interesting but not in the way amy/alec shippers think

Amy shook her head, talking over her, “She’s always been emotional, passionate, unrestrained, and she’s channeling all this new emotion into hate, because it’s the closest equivalent.” “New emotion?” Regent asked.  “You mean you mindraped her.” Amy looked like she’d been slapped across the face.  I wasn’t surprised, but hearing it said out loud was unsettling.

“Nice,” Regent said.  “She could be a human-spider hybrid.  Add some insult to injury with the mindrape thing.” I could see Amy tense.

it is relevant to his character that he's the first person to cut through amy's euphemisms (and everyone else's avoidance of saying the unsettling part out loud) and outright say "you mindraped her." he calls the euphemistic language out and then intentionally repeats it a second time for no other reason than to bug her about it. it's vaguely reminiscent of something he says to sophia during his interlude:

“You and I are more alike than you’d suspect, I think,” he said. “We’re both arrogant assholes, yeah?  Difference is, I admit it, I don’t dress it up and tell myself that I’m a bitch and that that’s a good thing.”  He burned Emma’s face out of another photo.

he has a repeated habit of making people uncomfortable by calling something out for exactly what it is, whether it be "yeah sure cape groupies, my dad's girls, people i used my power on towards the end" or "you mean you mindraped her." he's desensitized enough to really all forms of violence to be unbothered by committing or witnessing them, but he seems to harbor a genuine pet peeve for people who obscure or unreasonably justify what they're actually doing. as uncomfortable as he can make taylor, it's often not that he's doing things worse than the other undersiders, but that he's the person most willing to openly admit what he's doing--or to pettily call out what someone else is doing.

i think it more or less boils down to the fact that he's never gotten to be the person on the peripherals of violence making up neat and tidy ways to talk about it: he spent his entire childhood being hurt in every way imaginable & being coerced into doing the same to others. i think it left him with a sort of genuine distaste for being expected to talk in circles around the viscerally awful things he had done to him or did to others, and subsequently, for people who have done similar things but can't fucking fess up to the reality of it. it's like he's been walking around his entire life just absolutely drenched in blood, witnessing so much else get covered in it, and he's starting to get legitimately bothered over people standing around twiddling their thumbs and pretending it's red paint. he knows it's blood. he's been tasting it since he was 6. he would really like if everyone else could also grow up and admit it's fucking blood.

it's always funny to me that amy/alec shipping is, like, a Thing--a niche thing, but a Thing, because i could not think of a rapist more hand-crafted to piss amy dallon off than alec vasil. he cannot go Three seconds in her presence without going "oh you raped her? you mean you raped her? with your mind? like she doesn't just have new feelings you specifically mean you mindraped her?"

she, on some level, views herself as someone who did harm because she's irrevocably, ontologically evil, and is sort of desperately obsessed with minimalizing or half-justifying her actions to herself so that she can avoid recognizing that she feels like she can't be better. she's clinging to the idea that she can be "redeemed" if she does something of equal measure in the opposite direction (e.g 'spending the rest of her life healing people' as she mentions), but because she can't even directly acknowledge how bad her actions actually were without crumbling under the weight of the idea that she's doomed to be that bad, she's fundamentally incapable of looking directly at what she did at this point in the story.

alec, on the other hand, is really fucking upfront and fairly objective about his actions--he never ties them into some Inarguable Truth About His Soul, and he's pretty honest about whether or not he thinks they're justifiable. in 14.1, he has this dialogue with cherie:

“When daddy had you practicing your powers, you ‘hijacked’ a few people at a time, used their bodies to get high with no consequences for you, you threw orgies for yourself…” “Again.  I was a kid.”

but despite the fact that sophia is, on some level, justified in his mind by his "eye for an eye, this is a favor for taylor" rhetoric--he's fine with admitting that he's also just doing it because, yeah, he's an arrogant asshole and he feels like it. some of it was because he was a kid being groomed, and some of it was because He Felt Like It.*

*sure, he only Felt Like It because he has a comically large cocktail of unpacked psychological issues--but he doesn't know that, he just knows he felt like it.

in other words, he doesn't subscribe to the idea that any of his actions are, like, Ontologically Predetermined By His Inner Being or even necessarily all related. he's like the fuckin' "might do it again, prolly not" dude from the sex offender shuffle. okay, sorry for saying that in my seriouspost. but his philosophies would clash hilariously badly with amy--he insists on accepting his own & others actions for exactly what they are, he's generally very invested in not being his father (being asked if he intends to turn out like his dad is one of the only times something briefly upsets him), and he's actually doing pretty okay at that. he's like...shockingly well-adjusted given the circumstances. his entire arc is more or less a slow upward climb.

i think having to be around someone who both believes and would outright admit "yeah i raped people, no i dunno if i feel that bad, no i'm not raking myself over the coals for it, yeah some of it was because i was a kid, yeah some of the other stuff wasn't, no i'm not Predestined To Suck," would like. clash with her beliefs abt 'ontologically evil' being a real thing, abt punishment as justice, etc. in a way that would really bother her. she spends a lot of her time in her head trying to twist things around until they feel salvageable to her, but alec is 0 amount concerned with rationalizing to make him feel alright--he just does things, some bad, most shitty attempts to be better.

it's, funnily enough, far more functional for improving than what amy has going on--he operates on material actions as opposed to her Self-Flagellating Thought Labyrinths, and the fact that he's busier moving on from things he can't materially change than he is kicking himself in the face means he can actually achieve some form of progress towards more functional approaches wrt human interaction. i think if amy had an extended conversation w/ him about the subject, she'd both be disgusted with him for not thinking thoughtcrime is real and deeply resentful that this fellow ontologically evil villain is doing better at moving forwards as a person than her despite not 24/7 flagellating himself + yearning for "redemption" like she is. it'd throw a disturbingly large wrench in her worldview, and she would not be happy about it.

oh, and alec would think she's weird and mopey and dumb and annoying and "why do it if you can't even admit it." and he would probably tell her as much. which is the point where i unlock the door to the room so alec can sprint out to escape amy's attempt to put tastebuds on his asshole.

[theresattrpgforthat]

do you know of any ttrpgs where you play as a dragon rider? ideally that would be the main premise that the game is built around, but i'm open to anything that involves riding dragons.

THEME: Dragon Riders

Hello friend. For standalone games regarding Dragon Riders, I was only able to rustle up one. So to make up for it, I have some supplements for other games as suggestions, as well as a way of hacking a different genre to make it work for you.

Dragon Riding is Easy, Isn’t It? By Hans.

You are a Dragon Rider. With your companion dragon and your friends, you will face danger, see the world, and make new friends. Along the way you will take turns playing the Rival, driving the story forward and confronting the Dragon Riders with their foes.

This is a game with a lot of room for decisions about what exactly you’re riding dragons for. Collaboratively, your group will decide what makes Dragon Riders stand out, and what kinds of differences exist between the dragons of your world. The dice system uses d6s, with staggered levels of success. What’s interesting about your dice results is that each one must be assigned to an aspect of the task at hand (Goals, Risks, Traits and Complications), which means that your results well tell you more than whether or not you simply succeeded or failed. The meat of the story will surround the efforts of the group to foil the plot of the Rival, a character played by members of the party who sit in the GM’s chair - and everyone might get a chance to take a turn at this! The system itself feels pretty rules light, and the game its pay-what-you-want, so it’s worth checking out!

Dragon Riding, (for 13th Age) by Pelgrane Press.

The lethal combination of dragon and rider helped create the Dragon Empire. Now unleash the fury on your foes! Full rules for player character dragon riders appear alongside story advice for campaigns looking to add dragon-riding options.

13th Age is a fantasy game built similarly to games like D&D 3.5 and D&D 4e, but containing mechanics that address the narrative side of play. Rather than focusing on a consistently “realistically” coherent setting, 13th Age focuses on what is dramatically important instead. Character creation will look similar in that it has races and classes, but you also decide on a relationship between your character and an Icon of the setting - the Icon being a major player in the world. This relationship makes your character immediately relevant to whatever story is about to happen, putting them front-and-centre of the action.

The Dragon Riding Supplement adds rules to the base game and advice on how to incorporate dragon riding into a story. You don’t just get character options - you also get adventures and advice on how dragon riding might be incorporated into battle, how the healing system works with dragons, and more.

If you are familiar with games like D&D and Pathfinder, then 13th Age isn’t a very big step. However, if you ‘re new to tabletop roleplaying games, this is a pretty big learning curve, so be prepared for a significant amount of rules and lore.

Moth-Light by Justin Ford and RIDERS by Me!

If you’d like a game that can easily turn into a game about Dragon Riding, you can also check out my RIDERS supplement for Moth-Light. The creatures of Moth-Light are supposed to be giant insect-like creatures called Moths, but I wrote RIDERS while being deeply inspired by the Chronicles of Pern - which is a science-fiction setting that has dragon riders!

Metal Sword, by Mousewife Games.

Metal Sword is an "acoustic cover" of Austin Ramsay's Beam Saber.  It's a fully playable Forged in the Dark game, but with simpler rules, easy to read character sheets, and less overall math than is often seen in games of this genre.

The central mechanic for building both your pilot character and their vehicle are "Quirks", which you devise similar to how you would design your vehicle's Quirks in Beam Saber or a character's aspects in FATE.

Alright so you’re probably asking - why is there a mech game in this list of recommendations about dragon riders? I think there’s a lot of similarities between the kinds of stories told in mech games and the stories about dragon riders. You are a tiny, fragile human, responsible for a large, powerful creature or machine. Success in any mission requires a great level of knowledge and skill.

I chose Metal Sword because it’s a very stripped-down version of Beam Saber that is pretty easy to hack. The biggest change you’d have to make is the terminology. Your Vehicle becomes your Mount. Your Vehicle Actions become something like Heal, Maneuver, Sense and Blast. Because you are writing in the Quirks according to what makes you and your mount unique, you can incorporate details about your dragon’s powers and personality into character creation.

Not all Mech games will easily convert to Dragon Rider games. But I think there’s definitely potential!

[flamie-42]

BSD Theory Poll

This is just who you think will ACTUALY get switch. not who you want to get switched (i can do a poll on that if yall want)

My Thoughts/Propaganda under the cut

Who do I think it will be? Either Dazai or Tanazaki for very different reasons.

Why Tanazaki?

There's been a few mentions over the seasons of his ability being useful to the mafia. He doesn't have a whole lot of plot relevance (especially in the most recent season) so I think Asagiri might want to swap him in to give others a break from trauma (lol).

Why Dazai?

I'm really torn on this because I feel like it would undo a lot of progress he has made over the years after leaving the mafia. HOWEVER I have seen some posts with weird coincidences that might point to him being the one to join the mafia again. I think it could be very interesting to see how much he has healed while being in the ADA by putting him back into that environment. I think that if the older members of the ADA sat down and discussed it they would all probably agree that Dazai should go (and I think he would agree too). Yosano is out (Fukazawa made that clear). I don't think they would agree to send any of the younger members (Kenji/Kyouka). I don't think Mori would request Ranpo bc Mori knows that Ranpo would just outsmart him. I also dont think that Mori would request Kunikida bc I dont see how that would work. ALSO last point, we first heard about the swap from... Chuuya and who is with Chuuya right now?

[aro-comics]

Growth (Part 3)

Growth, 3/3 - And … with that, we finish off yet another series 🐸🐸 I hope y’all enjoyed the ride, I know it’s been a long wait for this, but I really wanted to take my time and craft this comic and what I had to say with it (and also take my time with these last few greenhouse scenes haha).

I don’t think the ways in which amatonormativity affects us has been explored as much, since our awareness of the topic is so new. Or at the very least, I haven’t seen much discussion and I feel like we’re all just taking stabs at it atm. So here’s my take, it’s something I’ve reflecting on for quite some time, and I hope you’ve found it interesting too.

Also, this is less relevant to aromanticism, but I wanted to sign off on this: I know growing up I really clung to the idea of finding the *right* relationship, romantic or not, to be this kind of … magical key, to fixing many of my personal problems. But as I’ve learned through my own experiences, sometimes all you really need is the time and space to rest, to recover, and the will to try again at the end of the day (or the next morning, or whenever your strength returns).

If love and relationships have been the key to your healing and growth – fantastic! I’m genuinely so happy for you, and I think that is beautiful. But to anyone that needs to hear it, you can be fine too without. Your growth can be something that you shape and lead, and for what it’s worth. I think you will find at the end of the day the path you carve for yourself will be beautiful in its own ways, too.

Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia shrugs “Overall, I think it’s just that society puts a lot of emphasis on celebrating growth in relation to romantic love.”

Slide 2: “It’s all too common for me to hear people talk about how someone became nicer after they’ve found “the one”, how much better they are with a lover than without”

A younger Celia is shown studying as she listens to her parents converse. They say:

“You remember [redacted]?”

“Yeah”

“Yeah, he finally got a girlfriend and its like he did a complete 180 as a person. He’s so much nicer and more patient now …”

Slide 3: Celia says “ – and as an aro, I just … wish that there was just as much focus, and celebration, for the ways people grow in the absence of romance, or any kind of relationship.”

Slide 4: “Because that family friend was wrong.”

Slide 5: “I did grow, past the lack of confidence and the so-called shyness, all of these traits that supposedly I would have gotten as a part of falling in love.”

A pot of ferns is drawn growing, unfurling, reaching towards the top of the panel.

Slide 6: “I became strong, confident. More patient and kind and understanding than I had ever been, all of these traits that supposedly would have been the rewards of love,”

Celia sits in her gardening attire. From her hand floats a fern unfurling, with sparkles in the background.

Slide 7: “Except I didn’t fall in love. I wasn’t motivated by any person, romantically or platonically or otherwise. And as much as I wish it was because I embraced self-love … it actually wasn’t either.

I grew because I had finally been given enough space to heal from what had been hurting me back then. And because I wanted to.”

Slide 8: “People love to say that everyone eventually blooms in the presence of “true love”, but I’ve always disagreed. Celia is illustrated talking to a blank person, from which a speech bubble shows a flowering plant. Celia says “I don’t agree”.

Slide 9: Back in the greenhouse, Celia is shown watering plants as the sun shines behind her. “In nature, not every plant flowers.”

Slide 10: “And those plants are no less beautiful for it.”

Shot pans out into the wider greenhouse, an array of nonflowering plants depicted around Celia as she stands with her watering can. The afternoon sun pours into the building, illuminating her and her surroundings.

[fawntarot999]

What are your natural 🌜witch🌛 abilities?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath, then pick a pile 🔮 don’t think too much 💋

Decks ~ Medicine Woman Tarot, Tarot of the Cat People, Illustrated Herbiary Oracle, Rider-Waite Tarot, The Somnia Tarot, Cat Tarot

Pile I ~ Sister

Peacemaker (Hierophant) rx, Ace of Stones (Pentacles), Knight of Swords, Hawthorn, Trillium, Fool rx, Strength, 7 of Wands, 6 of Cups, 8 of Swords, 3 of Swords

Okay, Sister. I see immediately that you don’t operate energetically, you operate very physically. I’m seeing tons of crystal imagery, as well as roots and underground imagery. The most prominent thing I see here is that you somehow operate around heartbreak. Your powers are healing for others’ hearts. You can help cleanse out the heartbreak and bittersweet memories that others are feeling. Your energy is taking a chance without being ignorant and being strong without being aggressive. Your natural abilities lie in your power of protection and setting boundaries because of this. They also lie in deep cleansing and releasing magic. I definitely think that you should explore crystals more because your natural abilities are very prominent when you work with them. Sister, you should practice reiki, massage therapy, or crystal reiki. You have a gift in those areas. I think you could begin to channel your natural abilities to heal heartbreak through those methods. This reading was a very scattered energy. You need to try and develop these skills more. Cleanse your crystals tonight and try to meditate with them or place them on your body and see how they feel. Your skills are there Sister but not strong enough yet!

Pile II ~ Sphere (18+: mention of substances)

Power Lodge of the Pipes (Queen of Wands), Wheel of Fortune, Dandelion, Mugwort, 8 of Swords, Page of Cups, 2 of Swords, 4 of Bowls, Moon rx

Wow, Sphere. First off, before I asked my question the cards spit out the Sun for you. Throughout this whole reading I got so much Sun imagery it makes me think this is relevant in some way to you. Or maybe you are a fire sign or really shine bright. Your abilities are so intriguing. First off, there are two main abilities that somehow combine that the spirit showed me: your natural ability for working with the seasons or gardening or working with plants and your natural ability to use trance like states, meditation, or dreams to heal. Perhaps this could combine in working with psychedelics, weed, or herbs. I see INTENSE imagery of being blindfolded or eyes closed. Okay, Sphere, let me be straight, this is what I see: You can operate between dreams. Maybe you drink tea or eat herbs or shrooms and fall asleep or into a trance like or meditative state. In this state you can receive intuitive messages from the source. It happens naturally for you, it is your natural ability. In this state, you can actually choose a different path for yourself; think like you had a nightmare and died because a lion ate you. In your trance, you can go back and speak with the lion, understand why you’re receiving this nightmare, and then change the path that dream took. You can help others with this gift too, I feel. Help them understand and change the context of their dreams. If you don’t already garden or forage or dedicate your abilities to plants in someway you should. They will have a natural affinity for you. This was intense Sphere! You have really cool abilities.

Pile III ~ Ghost

5 of Pipes (Wands), 2 of Bowls (Cups), King of Wands, Daisy, Chickweed, Lavender, Sweet Violet, Hanged Man rx, 9 of Swords, 4 of Coins (Pentacles), Page of Cups, 10 of Swords

Okay, Ghost, seems like some of you have already discovered and been playing around with your abilities… BE CAREFUL. Warnings are coming through. You have the natural ability to harness the law of attraction. People, in particular, are attracted to you. You have the power to create very strong love magic too, Ghost. It’s as if you can draw people and romantic interests in with some magnetic energy you have (perhaps from a spell) and they want to follow you everywhere! You might be a newer witch or you may just be discovering or feeling confident in your path. You’re young but powerful. You should definitely explore your powers of attraction more. Maybe do some self love jars before you start creating love spells for other people. You have powers that can float subconscious messages to people. I’m seeing lots of bottle or jar imagery and It would benefit your practice to start burying these spell jars in the ground or floating them down a river. You should also connect with the Sacral Chakra if you haven’t before. You could do great work with it. Just be careful. Maybe you are healing from a toxic love right now or maybe you just overthink too much. Perhaps you are using your powers for something that is not positive. Do not trap people using your powers. You will regret it and be unable to get out of a situation you no longer want. Be very careful who you point your love magick and attraction towards because it is VERY strong inside you. You need to be mature and think through your actions before using your abilities. You don’t yet know how powerful they really are.

[andthatisnotfake]

I find it interesting and funny (and a bit sad too) when I see posts talking about how Wille saw Simon on a date with someone else and immediately threatened to abdicate. I assume some of these are reductive for comedy, because you all know that that was just the last straw, right?

Wille was forced to go to a boarding school, forced to make a statement in which he said "no one is more disappointed in me than my family" (which was actually written/approved by said family), lost his brother in a tragic accident, had a huge responsibility and even higher expectations suddenly thrown into him, had an intimate video of him leaked for the world to see, was outed by said video, was forced (convinced? manipulated in?) to deny that it was him in the video (which implicitly told him he continued to be am embarrassment and disappointment to his family), lost the boy he loved because of that (which he definitely felt immense guilt over), was left virtually alone for weeks to deal with all of this, which he did by not really processing much of it and funneling all his feelings into the idea of revenge against August, had to hear Simon say he wanted space, and then finally saw Simon on a date with someone else, by which point be lost it. Honestly, what impresses me most is that it took so long.

And the thing is nobody (in the story) understood him. Not only his mother, but everyone else, seemed to view it as a teenager throwing a tantrum for something small and silly, like they had merely said to him that he couldn't go to a party. I thought for a moment that his mother understood him, but no, she didn't and neither did anyone else.

In the end, her suggestion for him to go to therapy ended up helping because it was indeed something that could help him, even if the reason for the suggestion was not the most relevant.

What he needs mostly though is time. He needs time to fully process everything he's been through, to rage and cry and anything else he needs to be. But in order to do that he needs a break. And he just. can't.seem.to catch.one.

Hopefully Simon's love will also help him heal. 💜

[sepublic]

Do you hate Belos' fans?

If you want my honest, nearly unadulterated thoughts? Well, hopefully this is the last I'll speak on the subject. But in regards to the question; In theory? No. In practice? Well...

They've ignored the actual onscreen characters, dynamics, and themes that the show focused on in favor of building this elaborate fanon and AUs and fics and art of their dead white guys who were never meant to be the focus, hyped themselves up on this entirely offscreen dynamic, and then when the finale didn't deliver on their expectations they gnashed their teeth and turned on the show as a whole because they never cared about the show, just their white favoritism-fueled fanon for it. Because apparently their engagement with TOH hinged entirely on Wittebros, which makes me wonder how they even began watching the actual show to begin with.

These same people viciously turned on the actual protagonists because they never appreciated them as their own characters but as devices to prop up Belos and the Wittebro dynamic, so when they couldn't fulfill that purpose, they were deemed useless and badly written because these people who wrote essays about Belos being left-handed blatantly ignored Luz's explicit onscreen arc and then had the audacity to be baffled by the finale's narrative decisions, and just dismiss Luz as 'badly written' because they refuse to actually engage with Luz for Luz's sake and appreciate her as the main protagonist, who stands more than easily on her own without having to rely on Belos.

These people just genuinely can't seem to comprehend why the show would celebrate this compassionate brown girl over their racist white man, so they went out of their way to disparage Luz, downplay her and her achievements, act like they're spewing some hot takes by claiming Belos is a more interesting character, using whatever convenient excuses they can find; But while the excuse always changes for the situation, in the end it's always because fandom just looooves their bigoted white guys.

So then you have crappy AUs and redemption fics that lightheartedly torture Luz at her expense to explore Belos, or reduce Luz to Belos' sidekick that he secretly cares about, and/or portray Luz's anger towards him as some obstacle towards his ~healing and redemption~ (and you don't need the finale's explicit message to understand why this is so grossly tasteless because fandom hates women and PoC, especially when the two intersect as one character). It's genuinely abhorrent how Belos fans just choose to undermine the entire point of the finale and the show and even Belos himself for the sake of their made-up fanon version.

Like maybe if they actually paid attention to the show and engaged with it on a general level, I might take their complaints a little more seriously; But it's telling how Belos fans just ignored characters who weren't directly relevant/connected to the Wittebanes, until they were. So it's why I can't take it seriously when they disparage the crew for having different priorities because you can just tell they refuse to consider other angles, or go in with the predisposed notion of hating it. The Belos fandom hyped themselves up, and then blamed the crew for leading them on instead of accepting that their speculation on a mysterious character was wrong.

In fact, they're in such refusal to accept this, that some of them even go out of their way to peddle the stupidest behind-the-scenes theories I've ever seen; Particularly, the one arguing that Belos was originally meant to be a sympathetic and tragic villain and was written as such during the first half of the show's run... But when the crew opted to include the Collector in response to TOH being shortened, they just transferred all of Belos' sympathetic qualities to the Collector and left him a pure evil antagonist.

Because obviously, the crew never considered writing two sympathetic villains, right??? It's not as if we don't already have two former members of the Emperor's Coven who unlearn their abuse yet still have different personalities and backstories and dynamics and storylines. No, Belos was supposed to be sympathetic but they deemed that redundant with the Collector, so it's the Collector's fault and it's time to disparage their writing out of jealous resentment.

The criticisms just come across as in bad faith; These people aren't actually interested in critiquing the show. It's all insincere when they discuss how Luz needed to understand how people can become villains (they ignore her dynamic with the Collector and other characters), or how villains need to be humanized because yadda-yadda. It's not because they actually care about these things, it's just a convenient justification for why their white guy deserved better.

Because these viewers are otherwise more than willing to suspend their disbelief and analyze all of the little implications for Belos to understand him, but then refuse to exercise even a little imagination in discussing characters like Luz or the Collector, because it's easier to just dismiss it as inconsistent writing that didn't have any planning behind it. Because they resent these characters for 'taking away' from Belos' spotlight, and with baffling confidence declare any defenses or explanations of the point they're missing as 'stupid takes'.

They talk of how Belos needed to be humanized and have his motives explained, but they were; It's just that these motives weren't framed in a flattering light so that pisses off their sadboi narrative of someone who's afraid of being wrong for the sake of others, rather than only for the sake of his ego (Note that Belos doesn't hallucinate the witches and demons he murdered because he still doesn't care about them). I don't think we can have a meaningful discussion about how Belos was written without first acknowledging a lot of things, such as what is even your stake in trying to argue stuff like how he should've been able to survive, or joking about the protagonists being too dumb to finish Belos off???

I just find it telling how when people criticize how Willow and Gus were handled, or how the Collector went off into space at the end, I can actually understand where they're coming from... But with Belos fans, I'm just utterly baffled to the point where I genuinely wonder how they can think this and if I stepped into some alternate timeline. They claim fandom is guilty of the puritanism that Belos himself displays, but it's not about 'problematic' characters (I'm quite the fan of villains myself), but rather fandom double standards in weeping for Belos while demonizing characters like Lilith as 'getting off easy'.

People understand perfectly that Odalia is meant to be viewed under the lens of a capitalist upper-class suburban white woman who views her family as a status symbol, but then see how Belos is a satire of right-wing conservative white supremacists and the like and just sorta... sweep it under the rug in favor of re-framing Belos as a victim of these mentalities who was brainwashed, rather than someone who gleefully embraced them (regardless of any downsides he may have encountered) because the ideology ultimately benefitted his sense of self.

At first I reasoned that the favoritism towards Belos over Odalia is because one is more fleshed out and whatnot; But after seeing how Belos fans turned on Luz and other characters, I actually do suspect a lot of it is misogyny. It's not as if fandom has ever relied on canon to flesh out faves, these people are proof enough. I remember being baffled by the intense energy there was for Wittebros after Yesterday's Lie aired, wondering where that same energy was for other aspects of the show; At the time I didn't think much of it and figured it just wasn't for me, no judgment, but now? Ugh.

The lack of self-awareness for fandom's obvious habit and tendency with white dudes is just utterly baffling. I'd apply Hanlon's Razor to it, even; Sufficiently advanced ignorance is indistinguishable from malice! These people prove they're more than clever enough to understand and engage with it on a sincere level, but they don't because they don't want to because they're just salty!!!

In the end, it's all just fandom entitlement; Someone else compared Belos fans to those for Kylo Ren and Billy Hargroves and I can't un-see it now. The key difference is that the source material for Belos didn't bend over backwards to coddle and make everything about him; Which means canon didn't feed the beast, and that led to Belos fans not being as obnoxious as the aforementioned groups.

But their portrayal of this guy really is the same as people who put Kyle Ron in flower crowns. It's just this watered-down milquetoast dude they made up in their heads. And without any self-awareness they blame canon and the writers for not adhering to their personal RP headcanons for the character. These are the same people I've seen complain that the show didn't portray Belos' grief over murdering Luz, because it's the whole Oppenheimer effect where if we talk about white people's violence towards minorities, we always gotta make it about the white guy's angst and guilt while brushing past the actual victims and their feelings! Because you know what?

It's clear how much this fandom sleeps on Luz! She's such an incredibly compelling character, the show really is about her, and yet people sleep so much on her depth to talk about others! This is not exclusive to Belos fans, but I find them particularly symptomatic of this problem. Because again, we all know from fandom history (in addition to the explicit onscreen writing) that any claims of Luz not being interesting, or annoying, or flat, is just wrong; And even if it were somehow true, it's not as if that has ever stopped fandom before.

They'll see a female protagonist who is compassionate and say that nice characters are boring, unlike their guy; They'll see a problematic woman and call her an irredeemable bitch, while lamenting how nice characters are underrated and misunderstood as 'basic'. It's all the same. This kind of veers into my complaint about the fandom in general sleeping on Luz despite her being so fascinating, and it's abundantly clear that it's the racism and/or misogyny, maybe even ableism because intersectionality exists!!!

That's why you have people sweeping over Luz's trauma from Belos; They'll obsess over Hunter's because it's more 'intense' or whatever but again, that's never stopped anyone. People deeply understand, Belos fans especially, the psychological layers to Hunter's trauma and how Belos wormed his way inside his nephew's head... But with Luz, they just sorta dumb down their dynamic to whacky enemies on equal footing at times.

There isn't any of that same weight, that same appreciation, for how Luz suffered, and so there's none of the tact, none of the consideration of how they're portraying this, even in jokes or AUs; And that's why people have no problem with making Luz the bad guy for not understanding Belos, even though she did try, and got so terribly hurt for it. And she didn't even need to try to not owe Belos anything. It's why people make cutesy AUs where Belos is Luz's father figure, which is incredibly gross given everything Belos stands for and what he did to her; Because they just don't care about Luz's trauma, nor how gross and creepy Belos was to her. Because they don't care about Luz unless she can prop up Belos.

That's why you have comics taking a scene from Turning Red about a girl of color coming to a new understanding over her immigrant mother's pressures and expectations, and making it about Luz sympathizing with Belos. That's why you have people taking the heartbreaking moment between Camila and Luz in Yesterday's Lie, and making it about Philip and Caleb. It's why you have people insisting more on the parallels than what the two are opposite in, because they're oh so eager to mold Luz into Belos' (and Hunter’s, for that matter) platonic Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and then get angry and lash out at her when she doesn't fit their placid, palatable role; Just like Belos.

Seriously, Belos fans have a fucking victim complex and seem to genuinely think they're being subversive, oppressed underdogs for liking the violent white guy and writing essays about how he's actually femme-coded and neurodivergent and whatnot, and actually in deep pain and misery and needs guidance!!! They think they're oppressed for engaging with darker content and not for fandom racism and white favoritism and just being annoying, so then they come up with things like #BelosFansTakeOver like it's a fucking pride flag. They're Snape fans.

And as I've said before; A part of me was, earlier on, confused about all of the hype and energy. And I think people are drawn to that sort of energy because they see people having fun, and want to participate; So yes, I myself DID end up buying into it, at least a bit. Honestly I think I also had the problem of not fully letting go of my sympathetic Belos speculation, AKA what I personally wanted and not necessarily what fit the narrative the writers were going for; And so I ended up being a bit obtuse in misinterpreting some moments that are obvious in hindsight.

And I think it's partly because, again, the Belos fandom at the time still seemed so reasonable and chill, because they were still hinging on the expectation that their fixation would pay off, and thus had no reason (yet) to resent the show and its focus on Luz and co., and could even be charitable in their interpretation and portrayal of these characters; They liked Luz plenty until they blamed the show for throwing Belos under the bus for her sake, and then proceeded to do the fucking reverse.

And like. I DID actually consider why the finale was written the way it was, and apply that in reorganizing my understanding of Belos; Apologies if I'm patting myself on the back but like. It becomes so much more fun when you work with things. It's baffling because these people are more than willing to put in the thought for wondering why X is a thing with Belos, but it has to be in this way that flatters their blorbo that they demand.

And some of these people certainly seem chill at first, but again I think part of the reason for that is because, like a lot of stuff in regards to fandom racism and misogyny and the like, they don't really seem to register what they're doing as aggravating, so they aren't bothered by it. But even when they are being 'calm' and chill, the way they portray the show through their redemption AUs and whatnot just reveals how they think, because they might not be approaching from some place of intentional malice, but from a willful 'ignorance is bliss' perspective. They haven't been on the receiving end of these constant fandom issues and then wonder why people are getting so heated over something reflective of real-life biases, when fiction was supposed to be a reprieve from all that; So they just act like it’s fandom stans needing to go touch grass.

So these fans come across as soft and comfort-oriented, and then in the same breath express concern over what a terrible person Luz is or whatever without any awareness, because some people are just way too lax about their fandom bigotry. Sorry but if you actually cared about these characters and their themes, you would realize that Camila would rightfully have only murder in mind towards the man who physically and emotionally scarred her daughter, and Masha -whose sole justified takeaway from the Wittebane story was that Philip just fucking sucks- wouldn't tolerate Belos' crap.

And you know what also really fucking sucks? I actually really enjoy Belos as a character and narrative, always have and still do; So it's agonizing to see people get him so wrong, in addition to everything else. In theory, I don't mind the concept of liking Belos, and there are still some people I'm chill with over this! But holy hell I've seen so many Belos fans and Belos fans particularly post all sorts of madness, to the point where I've developed this Pavlovian association between Belos fandom and psychic damage.

If someone likes Wittebros it's pretty much all they post/reblog about. I instinctively brace myself every time I come across such a blog, and I often end up being proven right. It used to be a part of the fandom I could enjoy but now it just feels so hostile towards canon’s themes and celebration, and it’s aggravating when people try to portray the fandom’s callout of this behavior as ‘both sides’ being toxic when what we’re discussing is fandom racism and misogyny, as well as a general refusal to engage with themes that contributes in a negative feedback loop to poor reading comprehension.

I guess I'm so passionate because I've been holding onto these grievances for so long, keeping it bottled for the sake of keeping the peace, but now I'm just tired so why the hell not? It's all reflective of my issues with fandom in general so it's still relevant even if you don't care for TOH. Maybe I should devote my energy into something more useful, I dunno. But as I said, I guess this whole thing is just reflective of societal bigotry and biases, and the lack of reading comprehension as a whole. At least I got the chance to vent!

[granulesofsand]

Hazbin Hotel: Valentino

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, perpetration

I spent a few minutes trying to gather what the controversy around Hazbin Hotel entails, and I did not succeed. So I’m going to keep talking about it, because we already watched it and anyone who hasn’t can find video essays that explain far more than the blips of relevance in the show itself.

Valentino. He is actively engaging in trafficking and exploitation of others, and whether he is causing harm is not the question. He is.

It is the manner in which casual viewers cast judgement upon him that stings. Not ‘casual’ as in watching for fun, ‘casual’ as in unaffected by the themes of the media. People who have never been at either end of organized abuse in any capacity.

It comes back to the discussion of what it means when you talk about an archetype rather than a character. Valentino is an interesting character who can be analyzed in combination with techniques such as lighting, music, and motion. Traffickers and exploitative perpetrators are not the same. Traffickers and exploiters are real.

I can tolerate people relating those identities to the character of Valentino — it raises my hackles because I have trauma, not because of the conversation is necessarily offensive.

I don’t like when people take those traits and decide that Valentino is not redeemable or doesn’t deserve redemption, because we don’t know enough about Valentino to grasp how he became the perp he is — instead, people take the base knowledge that OA hurts people and demeans all perpetrators of OA.

We are perpetrators of OA. In our external reality, we were generationally involved in a religious organization that emphasized the spiritual value of harm. We have been tortured repeatedly until our abusers created a new self who would fit the role they needed. We have been hurt this way since we came into this world as a babe, and we have hurt others since we could walk.

That is a world, several worlds, of pain. It was inflicted because it had been so for hundreds of years, and none were capable of ending the cycle. We left, we are alive, because we got very lucky several times over.

And some of those selves — none of us went away after we formed — identify with Valentino. As it stands, the alignment with abusers (beyond immediate coercion) is familiar, and those selves don’t see media reflecting them often.

We are not perpetrating currently. We are in therapy and working together to heal, but it is slow, hard work. It lessens the shame to see what happened to us happened to others, and those selves were not being bad for surviving.

A lot of the ‘evil’ traits Valentino displays are cluster B Personality Disorder traits. People with cluster B PDs often adapted that way through trauma, because that was how they survived.

Giving those selves dignity and respect despite their behavior allows them space to reevaluate whether they still need those behaviors. They have to learn to override the automatic response they relied on for years, and for us they have to do that while dodging training and torture memories designed to keep them in their place.

We are real. Survivors, multiple or singlet, are real. And the only people who get to forgive perpetration are the victims and the perpetrators.

If you were not our victim, your opinion matters far less to us. If you were neither a victim nor a perpetrator, your opinion might as well not exist. It probably shouldn’t, unless you have some lived or learned experience you’re working off.

When you generalize statements about perpetrators, you are going to hit people who were coerced, adapted to survive, or never learned better. That could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back; healing is the worst, sometimes worse than living it the first time, and there are enough barriers without tossing in a poorly thought out comment in the mix.

Valentino exists only in the media and the interpretations of those who consume it. Survivors, including perpetrators, are real. Please try to be more gentle with heavy topics.

[citrusrick]

s7e5 Unmortricken (HUGE SPOILERS)

HOLY. SHIT. i did not expect this at all and was so fucking excited!! we've all been waiting for this for a looong time, both the rick prime and the evil morty returns! and they gave it to us in one episode!

there is soooo much to unpack in this episode, but i'm dumping all my initial thoughts into this post. i feel like every scene during this episode my mind was turning so fast. this episode broke me and healed me, idek. i just need to take a minute and stare at the wall in silence for a while. my brain is just a mantra of god i fucking love this show so fucking much.

evil morty not only being smarter than c137, but prime is so fucking cool. definitely hoping we see more of him in the future, especially with how he downloaded the schematics of prime's brain. his plotline is definitely not completely finished. (especially 'the rick project'? very interested in that tbh)

needless to say, c137 and prime's (and evil morty's) fight was fucking awesome and well-done. especially the very last when rick gets to just beat him to death, thanks to evil morty. also, we see a rick’s ego get him once again with the mindset of ‘a morty could never outsmart/get me’, and boom.

i loved how it ended simply like that, no gadgets, just punching the shit out of him until he dies while prime keeps saying things he thinks will cut deep. prime telling c137 that nothing he has now actually belongs to him, AGH! no words. just thinking about how hard that must've been for rick to assimilate into the family, so fucking painful.

learning that prime not only killed rick c137's diane, but ALL dianes across all the infinite realities makes a lot of things come together and make sense. basically, prime threw a massive fit over some rick's not wanting to drop everything to join him in his universe-hopping. also prime giving rick shit for his car sounding like diane when he literally modeled his kill bots after her is so fucking ironic lmao

rick prime saying he missed when he was just him and rick, the only two to actually invent portal travel, really interested me. so this means that both prime and c137 are the 'rickest rick'. also c137's diane was not killed with the omega machine, as we saw her and little beth killed with a bomb.

when i first saw that poster with rick and morty covered in 'spaghetti sauce' while morty hugs rick, i knew it was gonna end up being in an episode with blood all over them and i was half-right, since rick's the only one covered in blood when morty hugs him in this episode lol

another little thing i noticed, they very prominently showed us prime and c137's cybernetic wiring tangling together in a shot during the fight. is this something that'll be relevant later or just like a random shot?

i think it's possible rick prime isn't dead, maybe left alive by c137 for some reason we don't know yet. we don't necessarily see prime die only c137 come out covered in blood and imply that prime's gone. (i noticed tear tracks on in the blood on rick's face and thought i was tripping at first but he was crying, shattering my heart over here).

if it was truly that simple and rick prime is truly gone forever, rick now has to move on with the rest of his life and figure out who he is without this need for revenge driving him. i'm so nervous to see what happens after this. it'll either free him or destroy him.

p.s. that post credit scene, which was (in my opinion) showing us what would've happened with rick and birdperson if things were different between them. just a little thing i thought of, and i'm not even a huge birdperson/rick shipper.

p.s.s. and even if it's not about rick/birdperson specifically, it still means rick could've chosen a different path if he'd been able to let go of his need to kill rick prime and get revenge.