#i also just realised how many times i used the word cringe

[cat-sithe]

the brothers ever :)

idk if this relatable to anyone else, but i don’t really talk about my special interests to anyone irl. like the thought of anyone finding out, especially close friends and family, that i like rise as much as i do makes me want to die a little bit on the inside. of course it wouldn’t be a big deal but still… does anyone know what i’m talking about or am i just being silly…?

i haven’t watched Bluey so idk much about it other than it has dogs so i just made leo like it for the same reasons i like rise (family shenanigans)

also messy comic ik but it is what it is

part two

[bluetimeombre]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ And I wouldn't marry me, either.

You were Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.

[this is long. i'm talking 5k words long so i've split it into two parts. anyway, azriel is the best bat boy and no i won't hear anyone out. i'm so excited to write for him and hope you enjoy. it's very angsty but that's what i love. i hope i can write more for him and maybe other characters if you like. it's been a while since i've actually read the series so if any information is wrong, do let me know. also it was my first time using the term y/n and yes, i cringed NOT PROOF READ... enjoy]

warnings: references to sexual assault and references to suicide. nothing explicit but please don't read if this is sensitive to you.

Part 2 soon…

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The first, was the worst...

You were Rhys's half sister, the bastard daughter of his father. But when your mother had died giving birth to you, Rhysand's mother took you in and raised you with your brother and sister. You were so little and adorable that your sister loved you at once. Rhys did to, at some point of your life, you were sure he actually cared about you.

But when his mother and sister had died, his eyes shifted, he started to look at you with contempt. After all, you were only his half-sister. The worst half. He only kept you around because it's what his mother would have wanted.

And because there was no way Cassian and Azriel would ever let anything happen to you.

Besides, Rhysand knew when to use you.

Although Azriel was his spymaster, you were pretty good at staying swift-footed too. And you were frankly, very terrifying when you wanted to be.

You tread with power through the war camps, all of them looking at you as you went. All of their gazes wrecked with a predatory gaze. They either wanted to have their way with you, or kill you. Or both.

Rhys had said you could handle it, it was only supposed to be a check in. Cassian hadn't liked it, neither had Mor but it was Azriel who had almost- and for the first time- disobeyed his high lord to accompany you. But no, your brother wanted you to do this alone, so alone you would.

Just to show him you could.

'I can come with you,' Azriel had said, standing in your room as you tied your boots up. 'I won't even have to be seen.' At that, his shadows wrapped up your calf.

You smiled at them, as if they were his own pet. 'I'll manage just fine. Besides, i'm sure that's what Rhys wants, me needing a man.'

It had done nothing to calm your friend. The worry was still stuck between his brows, marring his handsome features. You'd held his cheeks, your wings hiding the two of you. His large ones (enough to swallow the both of you) over-lapped yours.

It was the last time you'd feel your wings.

The war camp wasn't as easy as you'd hoped. It was terror and horror in a place. You'd been to the court of nightmares, you'd gone to the slaughter of the spring court after they killed your family. But this, this was hell of another kind.

You had no idea how many days you'd been locked up, wrists bound in chains and hanging from the cell roof above you. Blood rolled down your arms from the force you'd tried to use to get them out. Your eye was swollen shut and your body trembled in pain.

All because they wanted to know your brothers secrets, and you wouldn't budge.

Your check was only supposed to be a day, but you were sure it had been longer. Days of endless pain and torture. Your uniform hung in rags of stripped material, your hair matted with blood and hiding your face.

You'd used the last of your energy to keep your walls up. You weren't anyone's mate, you didn't have anyone on the other end trying to feel what you felt. But should Rhys come looking (though you doubted it) you didn't want him to feel it. You didn't want anyone in your mind.

The gates opened with a sickening clash.

One of the Illyrian's knelt in front of you, his wings hiding those coming in behind you. 'Listen sweetheart. I don't want to make this any harder than it's about to get. All you have to do is tell us your brother's hide outs.'

You grit your teeth, staring down at the ground.

'So loyal, to a man who doesn't care if you live or die.'

Suddenly, your wings twitched as hands grasped them. Brute hands, the sort you wouldn't want touching any part of you.

Fear spiked in you, horror twisting your gut. 'What are you doing?'

'I told you I didn't want to get things messier, darling.'

You whipped your head from side to side, trying and failing to get a look at the assailants behind you. Your wings were being held apart, no matter how hard you tried to bat them away. You knew the sort of people they were, and what they did to girls like you.

That's when the begging started. 'No, no please. Anything. I'll do anything! Beat me, kill me, rape me, not my wings, please!'

'Anything?' the bastard asked, tongue poking out from his lips. 'Then tell me where your lord's hideouts are?'

You should betray him, you thought. He would never lose his wings for you. Perhaps it was stubbornness that kept you from, or maybe you were clinging to the last bit of love you want from him.

The bastard scoffed, 'anything, she says. Your brother has his own bitch wrapped around his finger.'

That's when they started hacking at your wings.

Your screams tore through your throat, blood spitting and dripping down your chin. Tears soon joined when they hacked away at the bone, the membrane, the flesh of it all. The three of them worked through your screams and your tears and your pain, tearing and cutting at it like it was nothing more than paper.

Not your whole life.

Let them hear you. You hoped your brother heard you, you hoped all and every court heard the pain.

Eventually, even you couldn't keep screaming. The only sound was the hacking away at your wings and the drops of blood.

'Now look at these beauties. I've got a perfect spot on my wall for these.'

They left you after that. There wasn't much more damage they could do. It already felt like they'd destroyed your life. You had never really thought about your wings, they were just part of you, as much as your wit or hair was. But they'd took it and now, you felt empty. Never would you fly with Azriel again, or use your wings to smack Cassian over the head.

Rhys, your dear brother, had took that from you.

The days blended in together after that. You were pooled in your own tears and blood, vomiting up anything they forced down your throat. No, they'd made it very clear they didn't want you dead. They just took pride in making it feel like you were.

At some point, you'd stopped reacting to the gate opening. You let them do whatever they wanted with you. Your wrists were still chained, arms still hanging up, your clothes hanging on your thin body in strips of dirt.

'No...' you heard a mumble. 'What have they done to you?'

Suddenly, the chains gave way and you lurched forward, with no strength to catch you. Luckily, you didn't have to, as strong and warm arms pulled you into his chest.

'Hey, wake up, look at me, dammit.'

Azriel.

You'd know the voice in the darkest days, in the pit of your worst nightmare you'd know.

You try to speak but your head's heavy, your lips are stone and your arms can't lift to hold onto him. You're exhausted, you're dying. The only thing you could do use all your strength to try to open your eyes.

'Please, please, look at me. You have to look at me,'

You were trying, you wanted to tell hm, snap at him, but you couldn't.

You felt Azriel shake, or maybe you were. Then, there was wet drops landing on your cheeks- you flinched.

'I'm sorry, i'm sorry. Rhys! Rhys! hurry up, please!' he was screaming. You'd never heard him scream before.

You heard the rush of feet at the cell doors, you knew it was your brother. You knew it from the presence of him, from the shuffling of feet and chocked sob. Your brother didn't cry, least of all for you.

'Her wings, oh mother, her wings,' said Azriel, his voice barley above that of a whisper.

Your wings. You didn't need reminding. They were gone, long and far gone. You were without a part of you, the very part of your soul that loved to be free. Never would you watch the stars up close or fly over everyone. Never race Cassian or make jokes with Az.

No, this would destroy you.

'y/n,' your half-brother called. 'No, y/n. Can you hear me?'

Your lips parted, mumbling. 'Hurts.'

Azriel's grip on you tightened. 'I know, we're gonna get you out of here, just hold on for me.'

You wanted to tell him you would hold on, you'd always need to hold on to him. That, no matter what he asks, you'd do it. To kill, to live, to breathe, to die.

And that's when it clicked. Amongst all the pain and the doubt. In your blood soaked clothes. In the fear you wouldn't make it, there was a tug. Weak and one-sided, but there. You knew you'd be safe with Azriel, knew you would always be with him.

Mate.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The pain subsided to a dull ache, there and beating but not excruciating. You were warm and covered in a soft material. Nothing like the cell you'd been kept in. Your fingertips sunk into something soft- a bed. Your bed. It was familiar in its lavender scent to you and the silk wrapped around you gave you some semblance of warmth.

Your wings.

Even coming to consciousness was difficult. You were exhausted but light, without the weight of wings holding you down. You'd never realised how much you needed to feel that weight, to feel pulled down in order to be free.

Gone, all gone.

Your hand twitches around something cold, a shadow holding your hand, creeping up your side.

'You're awake, thank the couldron.'

It wasn't Azriel, master of the shadows. It wasn't your mate. Mate. The word replayed like a terrible song in your mind.

How dare the mother do this to Az. How dare he- nothing but loyal and kind- get stuck with a person made in darkness, who bled shadows, who's heart was so full of hate there wasn't room for love. They'd cursed Az, with you.

But luckily it wasn't him, it was Rhysand.

'It really happened,' you whispered, voice hurting from the screams.

He sighed. 'I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. We-we thought you weren't going to make it, you'd lost so much blood.'

In spite of the pain in your shoulders, you made a shift, turning from him as he ranted on about your condition.

'y/n... sister, please,' he said. He'd never called you sister before. He'd always been content to treat you just like you worked for him.

'Leave me alone.' you couldn't bare to look at him, couldn't bare to face him. The shadows at your hand grew heavier, as if more were piling on. You stretched your fingers away from them, trying to get them off you.

'Are you in any pain?' asked Rhys.

'Get out,' you mumbled.

The end of your bed dipped where Rhys settled, hand splayed on the covers, begging for your hand. 'y/n.'

'Get out!' you snapped, body tense and straining. You felt your wounds open up, blood wetting the bandage around you. But you didn't care. You'd happily bleed if you couldn't fly. A part of you, sick part of you wanted to be left there. It would be better than false sympathy.

Be better than your mate being disgusted.

'Get out!' you yelled again, voice tearing through an aching throat.

'I just want to help you! please, let me help you!' said Rhys, standing from your bed and walking around, trying to face you.

'I don't want your help!' you screamed. You reached for the closest thing you could, a jug of water and chucked it toward him. You aim was terrible, marred with pain and exhaustion. 'Get out!'

Though hesitant, Rhysand slowly started walking back to your door. He did it all looking at you, his hands out to show he wasn't gonna hurt you, but you didn't care. You went for the glasses next and chucked them but they landed against the door which he disappeared through.

Before it slid close you caught sight of Cassian , Mor and Azriel. All crowded, all waiting to see you.

You'd be happy if you never let them see you again.

'Can we see her?' you hear Mor ask.

'Give her time,' said Rhys.

The shadows at your hand grew heavier, darker, tighter.

'Go away!' you yelled at them. To anyone else, you probably looked crazy, screaming to darkness. But the shadows understood. They departed, slithering away and under the crack of your door where you could see the shadows of feet.

Tumbling from bed, you stumbled over and locked the door, leaning on it to and catching your breath. Your nightgown was starting to get sticky with blood all over again. When you closed your eyes, you pictured the cell, the rough hands holding you down, the chain keeping you up.

And the pain, it all washed over you. The hacking at your back, the sting of a slap. It hit you like a tone of bricks as you slid to the floor.

There was a knock, rattling the door.

'y/n,' Cassian. 'Please let us in.'

Us. You felt him on the other side. Your mate, his presence lingering. His shadows under the door, wanting to come in but keeping their distance.

He didn't know. It hadn't snapped for him, you could tell. It was one tug on your end, a chord in your heart. At least he couldn't feel what you did. At least you could shoulder it alone.

'Please.' his voice was almost your un-doing. He sounded so sad, so desperate. It hurt you just to think you were hurting him.

Tears streamed down your face as your curled your fingers into a tight fist. You assumed Mor had left with Rhys, leaving you there with the males.

Cass was always like a brother to you. Granted- a brother you had slept with once or twice- but he was your best friend. You'd always been close to him. But you'd always been good, a happy person.

You couldn't be that for them now, perhaps ever again.

It lasted like that for hours. Cassian and Az begging to come in, you curling into a ball with tears down your cheeks and blood down your back.

Eventually, they gave up. You couldn't hear them anymore and the shadows of their boots had disappeared.

Except Azriel's shadows that still lingered under your door. Maybe he'd ordered them to be there while they left you.

Eventually, you managed to find your footing on shaking legs. Your room was large, one of the largest. It was just as much a mess as it was when you'd left for you mission, clothes thrown over the place, books propped open on the pages you'd left them on. Everything was the same but could never be again.

It took you longer than you'd care to admit to get to your windows and throw the curtains close. Candles light at your request, the house looking after you as it had since you were a child.

You caught sight of yourself in the full length mirror. It seemed smaller, everything in the room felt too large and you too small, as if you were being swallowed by the expanse of it.

Your frame was small in the mirror, your hair disarrayed. Your eyes were red and shutting of their own accord from the tears that had drained you. The starving in the cells had made you look weak, made you feel weak.

And your back. There was no more looming black figures there, no more fluttering. There was just nothing. In spite of the ache as you lifted your arm, you felt around your back, feeling the hitch there, the lump from where they'd been torn from you.

You cry. You sob. You scream.

The scars were long and the nightdress was sticking to you by the blood you'd shed. All you could do, was hold yourself up as your body wracked with tears.

A breeze came from your windows, shadows tugging at the curtains.

You felt him before you saw him. You wanted to tell him to leave you but you couldn't talk without chocking. Without feeling like you couldn't breath.

Azriel had you in your arms before your knees could hit the ground. He fell with you, softening your body on the floor. His arms held you into his chest, his legs caging you into his body. His head rested on yours as he held you. He didn't try to talk, he didn't try to help. It was just him, you and his shadows.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Azriel remembered dozing off with you, his head on yours. His arms holding you into him, as if it was up to him to keep the sadness away and take it for you.

Afterall, you were his best friend. He should have been there for you, and he'd failed terribly by letting you get hurt and your wings stolen from you. He could hate himself every day for it, for letting you down. But it would never amount to what you felt for yourself and that killed him.

He could see it in the way you cried, in the way you were already keeping everyone out. He'd rather die than let you go through all the pain alone.

When his hands had been scarred by his brothers, you'd help heal him, tell him about everything he still was and all the power he still held in his hands. In the worst days, when he didn't let anyone touch him, he let you.

It was always you.

Azriel wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, or how deep. He was sure he was still with you, still in your bed.

His shadows crept up on him, engulfing him slowly and whispering to him. Your name, just your name on repeat. It was enough to lull him back into sleep, to keep him calm.

Gone. Missing. y'n. Roof.

He shot up and ran fastest than he ever had in his life. It was as if he'd never been asleep but had been fighting a battle with the way he raced over.

He burst through the doors, the cold hight air hitting him.

You stood facing the stars, your bloody back to him. It wasn't as much blood as when he'd found you, but it was still enough to put a lump in his throat.

Immediately his shadows fell to you, cascading down your body and wrapping around your waist. There was a breeze in the air, pushing your hair back and exposing more signs of the pain and torture you must have gone through.

'I'm not gonna jump, if that's what you're thinking,' you said. You didn't even have to turn to him. The shadows probably told you enough.

'Why are you up here?' he asked, walking to you slowly and with careful steps. As if every step closer could you push you away from him.

'I'll never feel the win properly again,' you answered.

Azriel gulped down his own pain. You’d never sounded so small. ‘Can you get away from the ledge?’

'I'm not on the ledge.'

'You're too close for my liking.'

'Leave if you don't like it.'

'Don't do this,' he said.

'Do what?' you asked, folding your arms over your chest. You were cold, out in the hight but you wanted to see the stars. Needed to see them.

'Make me leave. Make everyone leave you. I know that's what you're doing. It's what you do every time,' you could feel him dawning closer. His shadows were all around you, almost drowning you.

‘Every time,’ you scoff, stepping down and turning on him. ‘It’s not every day you lose your wings Azriel! But don’t let me stop you from leaving, flap them and go!’ You yelled, unable to stop yourself, no matter how hard you tried. You didn’t want to hurt him, you just wanted to be alone.

Mate. Mate. Mate.

'You jump and I’ll catch you,' he said. He was a step away, he could just reach out and touch, just a gentle caress. 'I swear it, whatever you do, I’ll follow. I’m not letting you get away.’

He watched your back shudder as he reached out, brushing knuckles against your shoulder blade. He heard your sharp inhale follow.

'Don’t think I won’t follow, y/n.'

Finally, you turned around in his shadows. You couldn’t meet his eyes but at least you could face his chest.

His hands were gentle on your shoulder as he rubbed it gently. 'Can I get Madja to clean you up?' He asked.

You nodded as he led you away. You truly did not deserve your mate.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Fifty-two years later...

When Amarantha had trapped the high lords of Prythian under the mountain, it hadn't be a conscious choice to follow your half-brother down. How Amarantha had allowed it, you weren't sure, but perhaps she wanted to use you just like her brother, or she thought it would bring more pain for him to see you suffer under there too.

You and Rhysand had barley spoke the last two years.

It had took you almost two months to heal fully enough to leave your room, another few months to face your family again. But even then, everyone knew something had changed in you. You didn't laugh as loud or smile as wide.

Rhysand was careful to ever let you out on a mission. Mor tried to take you out every night. Cassian spent all day every day with you and Azriel- he'd healed you better than any nurse.

Still, you had not told him he was your mate.

Still, you thought he wouldn't want it.

Still, you cared for your brother enough to not want him to go alone.

But being under the mountain, you could avoid your mate. At a painful price.

Until her. Rhys's mate. He hadn't shut up about her since he first met her, much to your dismay as you had to sit around and listen- having absolutely nothing better to do. And it only got worse when she turned up under the mountain. She was declaring her love for Tamlin- again, annoying your brother, and throwing Lucien into danger- which rather angered you. You had nothing against the ginger.

Rhysand had once sent you to find the girl to summon her as part of a bargain he'd made. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to look too forceful. You'd been lucky enough to find the two tangled up in each other against a cold wall, clothes ripped and hips moving together.

'Well, well well,' you'd intterupted.

Tamlin all but growled at you, but feyre was looking over you- evidently confused. She had no idea who you were. You, in your skimpy outfit that Amarantha kept you in (they all dipped low at your back, showing off your scars) and your eyes that were like a night sky.

'Amarantha's looking for her pet and Rhysand is looking for his. Honestly, i'd be a bit more worried if I were you. You know, considering Lucien still has an eye to lose.'

The two parted with your words as you sent Tamlin back to his master, the high lord glaring at you as you went. While Feyre tried to fix herself.

'Rhysand is over there, better not keep him waiting.' That was the first time you met her, having no idea how much trouble she'd be worth. The family that she'd become.

But Rhysand made sure you knew it all. From when the bond snapped in him and he'd stumbled. He ranted and ranted as they climbed out.

If only you were so talkative about Azriel. If only you could talk about him with your brother. But you'd tried not to painfully think about him. Climbing out of the mountain. It was all you could think of.

Maybe he'd have forgotten you? it had been fifty years. He'd probably realised how happy he could be without having to take care of you.

Rhys was allowed out of the mountain, he'd felt the breeze in his hair but you hadn't in fifty long years. You stood there a moment, bathing in the warmth as everyone left, as everyone ran off for their families and courts and the war that was inevitable. Eventually, Rhys offered you his arm. 'Shall we go home?'

He winnowed you there, on the balcony of your home. In a cloud of black smoke, the two of you appeared.

He went first, slipping through the doors slowly- like it could all be taken from them any minute.

You were hesitant, taking a moment to glance at the landscape behind you. It hadn't changed, not at all. The mountains were still there, everyone was still alive. Your home. In the last years it hadn't felt like home, but how could anywhere ever feel so close in your heart.

When you could find your feat again, you managed to slip through the doors. You were suddenly aware of how little clothing you were wearing, just enough to cover your chest and run down your legs. A chill settled down your back, your scars would be on show. What a way to great them all after fifty years.

Mor had her arms around Rhys's shoulders, crying into his shoulder.

Behind them you caught Amren, with something like tears in her eyes. You were just about to tease her before a body barrelled into yours in a blur of red syphons and your feet were lifted from the ground.

'Cassian.'

His arms tightened around you. You shoulder started to dampen with tears, his tears. The last time you'd seen him cry around you was when he'd seen a dog with only three legs. 'I'm keeping you on a leash from now on, stupid idiot.'

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, a smile gracing your lips. 'Is that a promise?'

He held you longer, tighter, not daring to let you go but at least settling you on the ground. He sighed against your head, controlling himself. 'He's missed you, you know,' he said. He was the only one you'd told, about your mate. 'Now that you're back, tell him. He deserves to know.'

Cassian slowly pulled away, holding you at arms length and smiling at you. He kissed your cheeks and then your forehead before parting to Rhysand.

Mor approached you next, slapping you in the arm.

'Ow!'

'Why would you follow him?' she snapped.

You blinked at her before she took you by the arm she'd slapped and embraced you, like a sister would. You dared not looking over her shoulder to find the one who hadn't come to you. Maybe Cass had got it wrong...

Mor pulled away, wiping at her eyes.

Azriel was as beautiful as the day you left him. His hair was the same length, he was the same height. He was just as you left him. It was hard to tell fifty years had passed on him.

And inside of you, tugging in your soul and heart you felt the familiar string of gold throbbing. But you still didn't feel that tug. You'd hoped it would have faded from you after half a year separated. Or at least have snapped for him. But no such relief.

He approached you, slowly. As if he was scared of scaring you away. But you just stood there.

His arms were delicate and soft around you as he brought you into his chest. He still smelled the same, cedar wood and shadows. Shadows that wrapped around you, shielding you from the rest of the room. They caressed you, head to two.

You held onto each other for what could have been another fifty years, but this time, it wasn't so painful.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Although nobody wanted to part after yours and Rhysand's return, you were exhausted. A trip to Rita's could wait another night or two. The only thing you wanted to do was hide in your room.

Strangely, your room looked lived in. As if somebody had moved in since you'd left. A moment of anger replaced grief. Had they brought someone else and given them your room? but then you smelt it, Az.

Lying in bed that night, exhausted, you couldn't find sleep. You closed your eyes and pictured Amarantha. You'd never been afraid of her, you weren't afraid of anything. But you re-played the horrors. Watching servants beat Feyre, watching Amarantha use your brother and on the occasion, even you. How she flaunted. How the most powerful lords were weak.

Under your door, shadows seeped in, rushing across the room to you. You smiled, watching your hand disappear in their darkness.

'Azriel?' you called.

There was shifting on the other side of the door before he slipped in, clicking it shut behind him.

You sat up in bed, shadows moving with you. 'Couldn't sleep?'

He wondered in, looking around your room. 'Sleeping's been... hard.'

You rolled over, opening the blanket and nodding your head. You couldn't think about the bond, not yet. Not while he looked so.... ruined. Beautiful- the most beautiful person in the world, but sad. As he climbed in next to you, you could see the dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders slumped and his wings too.

His eyes scanned over you. You were in a thin and silk night dress that only brushed your knees, but the way he looked at you, mother you could've been naked. 'Fifty years,' his voice sounded barley controlled. 'Fifty years. You followed your brother down for fifty years? Why would you do that?'

You gulp. 'I would've done it for any of you. Except maybe Amren, she'd probably enjoy the peace for fifty years.'

You go to brush your hair back but Azriel seizes your wrist. He was angry. That's why his voice was rough and his chest rising and falling with barley controlled emotions. Could he feel it? your nerves, your lying?

'You left. You should've stayed, y/n, you know Rhysand didn't want you under there with him,' he said. 'For fifty years I haven't been able to sleep through a night thinking about the pain you must have been going through. After I swore to keep you safe, after I promised to catch you every time!'

'You couldn't have stopped me. You didn't promise, Az.'

His grip grew tighter. 'It went without saying.'

You looked around his eyes, seeing the pain and grief there also. Slowly, you brought your other hand up. He flinched as you took his cheek but eventually settled as your thumb ran over his cheekbone. 'I won't leave again, ok? I promise.'

He gulped, letting go of your wrist and looking down. 'I slept here,' he mumbled, but just loud enough to hear you. 'I couldn't sleep in my room. This was the only place I could rest.'

Your heart stuttered. Your hand dropped from his cheek. This man was your mate. Your mate. Your only love, whether or not the cauldron deemed it.

Azriel took your hesitation. 'I-i'm sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that. I've probably ruined your one place of peace-'

'Stay,' you said, before you could think of what you were asking. 'Sleeping wasn't exactly easy under the mountain either. I just trust I won't have to put a wall of cushions between us.' as if you wanted that. As if you haven't thought about his calloused hands all over you.

Azriel smiled and stayed the night.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The third time he almost lost you, broke him...

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[moonstruckme]

You’re poly!marauders writings literally soothe my anxiety I love it so much. Could I please request poly!marauders comforting reader the night before a big presentation she’s super anxious for because she hates public speaking. I feel like they’d be so soft and encouraging when they realise how sad and anxious she is about it. You’re the best lovely 💗💖🩷

Thanks sweetheart!

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 957 words

James erupts in applause as you click to the final slide, and Sirius sticks his fingers in his mouth, whistling loudly. 

“Fantastic job!” James gushes, fawning. “Never seen anything like it. Will this presentation be considered for a nobel prize?”

“It ought to be,” Remus agrees, also clapping, albeit more normally. “That was great, dove. They’re gonna love it.” 

“Are you sure?” You look to the screen uncertainty. “The ‘thank you’ slide isn’t too informal?”

“No,” Remus confirms. “I think it’s the perfect way to signal that you’re done.” 

“But did I talk too fast? I do that sometimes.” 

He gives you an odd look. “Did you think you were talking too fast?” 

You shrug, looking at your pajama bottoms like there’s something interesting down there. “I can’t always hear it myself. Maybe I should run it through one more time, and you can let me know?”

“Wait, again?” Sirius sounds slightly alarmed. “This is a very interesting topic, but I think six practice rounds is probably enough. What, are you gonna give us a test or something?” 

You cringe. “Sorry, I don’t mean to keep you captive. I can practice it by myself.” 

You close your laptop, thinking of going to your room, but James says, “Wait, sweetheart, why do you think you need to run through it so many times? It seems like you’ve got it.” 

“I just need it to be, like, muscle memory,” you reply. “A lot of the time, once I get up there, I sort of…it’s almost like I can’t think anymore, and if I don’t know the presentation super well I won’t know what to say.” 

“I don’t think you need to worry as much as you are.” James’ voice has gone soft in that way he does when he wants to be extra kind. “Every time you’ve run through it tonight, it’s been flawless.” 

You scoff. “Yeah, because it’s just you guys.” 

“Oi,” Sirius pipes up, faux indignant. “I’ll have you know we are the most critical audience you’ll ever meet. If you can do it in front of us, those dolts will be no problem.” 

“Yeah, don’t be nervous.” James gives you a smile. “You’re going to do great.” 

“That’s a lot easier said than done,” you sigh. 

Remus pats the arm of his chair, and you abandon your laptop, letting him pull you into his lap. Your boyfriends have the ability to bring emotions you didn’t even know you had straight to the surface, and you feel unexpectedly teary as he kisses your temple. “Would it make you feel better if we came to watch tomorrow?” he asks lightly. 

You give him a small, sad smile. “Thanks, but even if you did, everyone else would still be there. It’d be a pointless trip for you.” 

“Not if you could have a hug afterwards.” He sets his chin atop your head like he’s going to make you a fortress out of his own body. “Or if you just want support in the audience, we don’t mind.” 

“I appreciate it,” you reply, “but I’ll be okay. I just need to get it down so that I don’t mess up.” 

“And what if you do mess up?” Sirius asks, characteristically blunt. “Would it really be the worst thing in the world?”

You blush, and Remus rubs your upper arm comfortingly. “No,” you admit. “It would just be embarrassing. It would kind of ruin my day, to be honest.” 

Sirius nods, looking at you evenly. “But then you get to come home, and it’ll be over. Maybe we can get you a treat or something to have tomorrow evening after you get home. That way you get a reward no matter what.” 

You fidget in Remus’ hold, and you know they’re not going to like what you’re thinking, but you say it anyway. “I won’t deserve a reward if I mess up, though.” 

“That’s not true,” James fires back instantly. “The reward doesn’t have to be only for if you give your presentation without a single hitch. It could just be for trying.” 

You’re quiet, pleading silently for a change in topic. Remus drops another kiss on the side of your head. “You’ve worked hard on this, dovey. It’s really good, and even if everything doesn’t go as planned tomorrow, you still put a lot into it,” he pauses, stooping his head so you’re looking at him. “You deserve to feel good about yourself.” 

You try to shrink, but he won’t let you, trapping you with an immovable arm around your shoulders. Remus is strong when he wants to be. He raises his eyebrows, a tiny smirk playing on his lips, until you smile. 

“Okay, you’re right,” you capitulate, leaning your head on his shoulder. “Thank you guys.” 

“Maybe it’d help if you got the presentation off your mind and just relaxed for the rest of the night,” James suggests. “There’s no point in fixating on it anymore, you’ve done all you can.” 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you say, and then Sirius is squishing into you and Remus’ chair, sitting half on top of both of you. 

“Our poor baby,” he whines, words muffled against your cheek. “I’m sorry I made fun of your practice, sweetpea. I didn’t know you were so nervous.” 

You laugh as he moves down to your neck. “It’s okay, it’s—quit, that tickles!”

Sirius ignores you, pecking relentlessly up and down your neck as Remus struggles to keep the both of you from falling off the armchair. “You’re going to do so good,” he promises ardently. “You know that, right?”

“She doesn’t even have to know it,” James speaks for you as you gasp for breath between giggles. “We know well enough to make up for her.” 

[lukesdice]

Could you do one where y/n is part of the 5sos crew on tour. She also has always been their close friend. Especially to Luke. While playing their show in Amsterdam, he suddenly realises that he had feelings for y/n.

Amsterdam

Luke Hemmings x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warning: Very small amount of swearing

Note: Thank you so much for the request! :) I hope you like it, and to anyone reading, please don't hesitate to send in more requests 🤍

You stared out the slightly dirty window of the 5sos tour bus, encapsulated by the many cyclists and artistic buildings stacked along the streets of Amsterdam.

It was the seventh night of The 5 Seconds of Summer Show World Tour and you were currently on your way to park the bus at the Ziggo Dome, the boys already hyped up to see their fans again.

You had been on the road with them for the entirety of the tour so far, working as their assistant whenever they needed something or had to haggle with employees of the different venues.

As well as their assistant, you were also joining them as a now long-time best friend of theirs, knowing the boys since you had met Luke at a party after the release of Sounds Good Feels Good, him and you quickly becoming close. He had taken little time to introduce you to the rest of the boys, quickly after you both became friends. However, you and Luke had always been the closest and not long after you met, you couldn’t help but develop a small crush on the lead singer, knowing it was wrong and that he only viewed you in a platonic way. That thought hurt your heart so you buried your true feelings deep below your skin and carried on as friends.

When you first met Luke in 2015, he had a girlfriend, who you couldn’t help feel a little jealous of as your crush developed on him. When they split in 2017, you felt ashamed that you had screamed internally with excitement and danced around your apartment a little. Even though you felt awful for Luke at the heartbreak he had felt at the time, you couldn’t deny to yourself that you had never really liked his girlfriend anyway. You always thought she treated him badly and just used him. Although you were happy they had split, you never showed that to him and instead you were by his side each step of the way to help him heal.

He had been through a lot the first few years you knew each other, and you had been his rock through all of his struggles and pain. But also through his happy days and highs. This had brought you closer together than anyone else could ever be.

“Y/N!”

You were suddenly ripped from your people watching and daydreaming, big blue eyes landing on you as you turned your head to where the excited voice was coming from.

“You were so out of it there” Luke laughed, his curly blond hair bouncing slightly.

You laughed in reply, nodding your head as you couldn’t rip your eyes away from his sparkling ones and his cute little dimples that were popping out as he laughed.

“Anyways, we are almost at the venue,” Luke began, “but me and the boys were wondering if you wanted to explore the city before soundcheck?”

You nodded enthusiastically as you tucked a stray hair behind your ear, smiling up at Luke who was leaning his elbow on the seat you were currently sitting on, his tall form towering over you and the smell of his cologne tingling your senses.

“Hell yeah, I would be well up for that” you replied, as Luke did a little happy dance at your reply. You giggled at how cringe he was, but you deeply loved it.

You stood up slowly and balanced yourself on the head rest of the seat, so not to fall over as the bus pulled into the parking area.

Luke gave you a soft smile and pulled his arm around your waist to steady you a little.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you”

Your heart warmed at his words and your stomach flip-flopped, the mixture of his firm arms around you, his hand tickling your hip and his kind words made you feel exceptionally dizzy. You desperately wished that you didn’t have to feel this way about him, because he certainly didn’t. You knew that, to him, this was just a mere friendship and he felt nothing when he touched you or hugged you, and that hurt so much more than the pain you felt over the years whenever you would see him dance with or kiss other girls.

“Thanks” you whispered in reply, as the bus slowed to a stop outside the venue.

“Alrighty, let’s go explore?” Michael piped up, standing and pulling a cap over his baby pink hair. “You coming Y/N?” He continued as you gave him a quick thumbs up.

“Of course!”

The five of you strolled down the streets of Amsterdam, stopping to buy little snacks and treats, as well as taking a quick look inside the Anne Frank House. You had stopped at a cute little clothing store, finding a furry pink coat that you had quickly forced Luke to put on, and taken a million pictures of him, gushing about how much it suited him. He had done a few poses in the long, narrow mirror that was propped against the dimly lit back area of the shop, before finding a matching pink cowboy hat and placing it on your head.

“How cute do we look?” He joked, as he snapped a quick picture of you both in the mirror, your bodies pressed against each other’s. You hoped and prayed that he couldn’t feel your heart beating out of your chest as your side was tucked into his, and as he leant his head against the top of yours.

“Oi you two, we are hiring bikes now, come on!” Calum shouted from the front door of the shop. You helped Luke pull off the pink coat before you both dashed out of the shop, catching up with the others who were now paying at a small bike kiosk.

You climbed onto one of the bikes as Ashton started peddling quickly past you, his curly hair blowing in the wind as you quickly peddled up beside him.

“Race you!” You joked as his eyes widened, the two of you trying to out-do one another.

“Hey suckers” Calum sang as he soared past the two of you on his own bike, instantly beating the both of you. You and Ashton looked at one another, rolling your eyes in amusement.

“Cheat!” Ashton yelled to Calum as you laughed at the pair, “Yeah Calum, such a cheat!” You called in unison with Ashton.

“What the fuck, how?” Calum laughed from in front, “you’re both just salty that I am a master cyclist” he boasted jokingly.

You started peddling slower so that Michael and Luke could catch up, who were just riding calmly and chatting with one another.

You smiled as you let the soft wind blow your hair backwards, admiring the trees dotted along the pavement and listening to the laughter of others as they walked hand-in-hand beside you or sat with their picnics on the grass that surrounded you.

“You look really pretty” Luke mused, as he struggled to balance his bike whilst cycling beside you, gazing over at you.

You turned your head to look at him, his cheeks tinted rosy pink as he realised what he had just said.

You felt your face go hot as the corners of your lips tilted upwards a little, your heart now hammering again, the happy noises around you suddenly drowning out.

“Um-I mean-” Luke stuttered.

“I mean, I’m very lucky to have such a pretty friend.”

Your heart sank a little at that. Friend. That’s all you would ever be to him.

You gave him a quick smile to say thanks, trying to shake his words off of you but not able to stop the word friend spinning in circles around and around in your brain, taunting at you and laughing at you.

Eventually you and Luke pulled your bikes to the side of the canal, colourful little and bigger boats dotted in lines down the side of the water bank. In your state of being lost in thought, you hadn’t even realised that you had lost the other boys.

“I think we lost the others” Luke said, circling his bike around slowly with his hands as he tried to find any sight of them.

“Oops” he continued when he couldn’t see them anywhere. He turned to look at you again, as you slipped back into your own thoughts.

“Y/N, you okay?” Luke asked, “you’ve been pretty quiet the last ten minutes.”

Luke had a small concerned frown on his face, his eyebrows slightly creased as a small curl fell in front of his left brow. This made you smile a little again, not being able to help yourself. He always looked so cute when he pulled his pouty frown-y face.

You shook yourself out of your thoughts, not wanting Luke to think something was up and start questioning further.

“Sorry no I’m fine, just lost in thought and enjoying the surroundings” you replied as Luke nodded in understanding, seemingly taking your explanation for fact.

“Hey, you want to take a short boat trip on the canal?” He asked, motioning towards one of the boats where a small man was leaning again the door that led into the boat, puffing on a cigarette with his arms folded, a small sign next to him, welcoming aboard passengers.

You excitedly nodded and leant your bike on the grass below you, “Yes definitely, I’ve always wanted to try this in Amsterdam, such a romantic thing to do-” you rambled, suddenly realising what you had just said and stopping yourself, looking bashfully at the ground and cursing at yourself in your head.

Luke chuckled beside you and entangled his hand with yours, pulling you closer towards the boats.

Your heart picked up in speed again as you let Luke hold your hand, his warm grip melting away all of your embarrassment and anxiety, the colours and blue sky around you suddenly feeling a little brighter.

“Very romantic indeed,” he chuckled, giving you a little wink before turning his attention to ask the small man about getting a quick canal tour.

You felt your breath fall away from you at his words but your head knew that he just probably said that as a joke, to make you feel better so you didn’t feel embarrassed, or maybe he was flirting? No he definitely wasn’t flirting, he only saw you as a friend.

The two of you sat at the railings of the outside section of the boat, side-by-side as you gazed up at the slow moving rows of old buildings, and listening to the calm waves of water that splashed against the edges of the boat.

Luke leaned closer to you, his shoulder brushing against yours, as he stared at you once again. You felt his gaze on you, suddenly a very nervous feeling washing over you. Every time Luke stared at you with that certain gaze, one that made you question if he really did like like you, you felt as if you couldn’t breath and that the whole universe suddenly became very dizzy and muffled.

“What?” You asked with a soft smile, finally turning to look at him. His blue eyes were shining as they melted into your own gaze, his lips turned a little upwards in a content smile, the blonde tufts, of the bottom of his mullet, tickled the back of his neck.

“Sorry,” he chuckled as he finally came back to reality, “nothing” he finished as he turned his attention back to the water ahead of you both.

“Forever a daydreamer, Luke” you giggled as you leant your head gently on his shoulder, him doing the same but instead atop of your head.

A few hours passed by, and you had eventually returned back to the venue for the show, finally meeting up with the other boys who were instantly jealous at the fact that the two of you had ‘sneaked’ off to a canal tour.

“We didn’t sneak off, if you all didn’t disappear and ditch us then maybe you could have come” Luke laughed as Calum rolled his eyes, “nah it was an elaborate plan to get rid of us!” Calum joked back, the boys already becoming silly and hyped up for their upcoming concert.

You had spent the next few hours running around and fulfilling your assistant duties, liaising with the venue staff and collecting drinks, snacks and equipment for the boys. As you dashed around, you heard loud chatter and excited cheering from the queues of fans outside, smiling to yourself and feeling intense pride for your best friends. You couldn’t be happier for them, and the fact that they were getting to fulfil their dream made your heart soar.

“Y/N, can you help me please?” Luke asked from behind you, half his body peering from behind the dressing room door.

You turned from setting up a tray of water bottles, nodding your head instantly without even knowing Luke’s request.

“Can you help me with my eyeshadow please?” He asked so innocently and softly, holding up a glittery palette and brush for you to take from him.

“Yes of course, let me work my magic” you giggled as you prized the makeup from his hands, and followed him to the dressing table which was situated in the corner of the room.

Soft rock music played in the background, a change from the normal loud music that they usually played before going on stage. The other boys had gone off elsewhere, probably to tune their instruments. You dipped the brush into the blue sparkly powder, Luke sitting on the seat below you as you hovered in front of him, your body situation in between his legs as you stood facing before him.

You dabbed the eyeshadow along his eyelids, swooping it out to create a small wing. You smiled at your work before re-focusing on making it look perfect.

The whole time Luke stared admiringly up at you, watching you as you intently made art upon his face, your free hand caressing his jawline to make sure his head stayed still in place.

You could feel his breath hitting your chin as both of your faces grew closer to one another’s, your own breath fanning his long lashes. You suddenly realised how close in proximity your lips were to each other’s, your noses almost brushing as you stopped applying the makeup for a short second. Your eyes flickered to his, which were already watching you closely.

“Hey” you whispered, letting your thumb run along his cheekbone ever so slightly, one of his blonde hairs curling around your pinky finger.

“Hey” he whispered in reply, as he reached his hand up to push one of your own strands of hair, which had fallen in front of your eyes, back to behind your ear, the cool metal of his rings brushing against your ear as he did so. You shivered a little at his touch.

“Just so you can see whilst doing my makeup” he spoke so softly, the soft beats of the music singing along to his gentle, velvety voice.

You nodded ever so slowly before casting your gaze back to your artwork, continuing on with his eyeshadow, as your heart rate sped up even more, breathing becoming heavier, and you hoped and prayed that Luke didn’t notice the state of anxious desperation you felt for him.

Suddenly a loud knocking was heard on the outside of the door, “Luke, five minutes until you need to be on stage!” You heard another of the employees yell from outside, you and Luke instantly locking eyes again. You quickly finished off his makeup and took a step back to admire your work.

“You look beautiful” you mumbled, a small smile on your lips as Luke’s cheeks became light scarlet.

He carefully stood up from his seat, once again towering over you and taking you in, with his eyes, for a short moment.

“I’ll see you after?” He questioned, acting as if he didn’t ask, then you would possibly disappear without a trace.

“Of course Luke, I’ll be waiting” you responded quietly.

“You’ll smash it, as you always do.”

The boys waved at the screaming and cheering fans, taking their places on stage as the bright orange curtain fell, the stage lights flashing and the beginning of ‘Bad Omens’ starting to play.

You took your place off the side of the stage, watching the boys begin to play and loose themselves to the feeling of euphoria, and to the rhythm of their songs. You danced a little and sang along as you did every night, grinning widely whenever Luke did his happy little bouncing movements, and whenever the crowd sang loudly to their lyrics.

‘Want You Back’ came to an end and Luke steadied his mic stand, lovingly looking out at the shining phone lights and happy fans in front of him.

“This next song is an old one” he began, as the crowd cheered crazily and excitedly.

“And I want to dedicate it to someone very special to me” he continued, the fans screaming even louder at his words.

“There’s someone in my life who I care for very much, someone who’s been by my side for the last eight years and whenever I’m with her-” he said breathlessly, the fans still going crazy over his small speech.

“I feel so disconnected from the world”

The fans cheered as the opening chords and lyrics of ‘Disconnected’ started playing.

For a moment you saw Luke turn and lock his eyes with yours, giving you a look from across the stage that made your heart batter against your ribcage, and almost knock you over from shock.

You didn’t want to be too presumptive but you were 100% sure that he had meant you, and when he gave you that look, you just knew.

As the set came to an end, the fans clapping and cheering as the boys took their final bow, waving and blowing kisses to the fans, you instantly felt nervous, impatiently waiting for Luke to be back with you.

Eventually the boys came tumbling off the stage, sweaty and full of their post concert high. Ashton galloped past you, giving you an excited hug, followed by Calum and Michael who were giggling with one another.

You smiled at them and congratulated them like you did after every show, matching their excitement.

You turned to face Luke who had just bounced off the stage towards you, his blonde hair all sweaty, the makeup you had delicately painted on him now a little smudged, but a huge grin still perfectly drawn on his face.

“You did amazing out there Luke, as always!” You cheered, as you pulled him into a warm hug. The two of you stood there in silence, arms wrapped around each other as the noise of the fans continued but began to die down a little as they began to leave.

“Did you hear my tribute?” He asked, suddenly becoming obviously nervous as he pulled away from your hug a little, but with his hands still grasping your sides.

You slowly nodded your head, unsure of what to reply, and hoping he would continue.

“Y/N, this is going to sound fucking cheesy and I might ruin our friendship saying this but I don’t give a fuck, I need to tell you” he began hurriedly, like if he didn’t say it fast enough then he would chicken out of what he was about to say.

“Whenever I’m with you, I find my sweet escape” he smiled, an air of confidence suddenly washing over him as he clearly knew how cringey he sounded but went with it anyway.

“And I’ve been worried for so long that you only thought of me as a friend and maybe you do, but Y/N,” he continued now more slowly.

“I fucking love you with all of my soul and mind and heart”

It took you a few moments to collect your thoughts, your whole body feeling weak and numb at his confession. You felt as if your heart just stopped, everything around the two of you blanking out as you stared dumbfounded into Luke’s worried blue eyes.

“What?” You asked, wanting him to say it again just to confirm it for you once more. Just to make sure that you hadn’t imagined the last minute that had passed by.

“I love you” he repeated, “and not in that platonic friendly I love you way, I love you like I love you” he rambled.

You laughed a little at his awkward way of wording his confession, but it made you fall for him even harder. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, clasping your hands behind the nape of his neck as he closely watched your movements, his breathing heavy and irregular.

“I love you like I love you, too” you repeated his words back, as he let his shoulders drop in relief.

“Can I-uhm” he began nervously.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Mhm”

Luke leant down slowly, his nose brushing the tip of yours softly, his warm breath hitting your lips as you let your eyes flutter shut.

All of the noise and commotion around you became nothing, it was just you and Luke entangled in each other’s arms.

Luke finally pressed his lips to yours, both of you melting into one another and becoming one, as you felt him pull you even closer to him, his hands squeezing your hips gently.

You felt his tongue caress your bottom lip, noses pressed firmly against one another’s now, your hands tangled in his hair, as your lips deepened against his, never wanting to let go.

As you finally pulled apart, breathing heavily and staring into each other’s souls, chests rising and falling, and hearts beating in unison, the noises around you slowly became louder again as you were brought back into reality.

“Fucking finally,” Michael bellowed from behind you.

“I was sick of listening to Luke pine for you since he basically fucking met you!” He laughed, clearly happy for the two of you.

You smiled up at Luke, twirling the wet strands of his hair around your fingers.

“You were pining for me?”

Luke blushed a little again, “Guilty” he shrugged a little.

You laughed and lifted yourself back onto your tip toes to re-attach your lips to his, the two of you falling back into your disconnected world away from reality.

[softestnatalie]

Abandoned corridors of the heart

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x female!reader

Timing: Season 1

Chapter Summary: There are a few complications on Merle's rescue mission. Your group is forced to leave the camp as chaos erupts.

Warnings: swearing, mild language, blood, gore, character death

Autor's note: School's starting again in a week and I'm NOT ready. I'll have much less time to write :( so updates will proably take a few more days as soon as I have classes again, hope you can understand. Also, reader crying because of Daryl got my heart aching :( And the reader gets to see sb she thought she'd never see again ;)

Chapter 3: Everything changes

You're stronger than you think.

That's what your mother used to tell you whenever you needed to hear it - whenever something was putting you down. And right in this moment, you were trying so much to hold onto her words, an axe in your hands and a geek on the ground, a few men of the camp beating it up. Still, no matter how many punches they delieverd, it didn't die. You didn't exactly know how to help, but you did remember the moment you saved Daryl - he shot it right through the eye as soon as he'd been able to grab his crossbow. After that, it didn't move anymore, so you assumed the head was the important part.

You were just waiting for the right moment to interfere and when Rick hit the geek with a pitchork, the spikes piercing it's abdomen and forcing it to stay on the ground, you quickly pushed the other men out of the way, raising your arms high above your head before bringing them down with as much force as you could, cutting it's head off in a swift movement.

All of you were breathing heavily, drops of sweat running down your foreheads. Rick looked at you and nodded, saying thank you for your help. You nodded back and drooped the axe right next to the bodyless head, blood leaking from the open throat.

"That's the first one we had up here," Dale spoke after a few heavy seconds of silence, "They usually don't come that far up the hill."

"Maybe because the cities are getting empty," you decided to speak your mind, "I mean as far as we know, they bite humans - we're their food - they're searching for more," your eyes trailed to the poor deer laying on the ground, it's neck wide open and chewed up. Your heart ached for the animal, which had to give his life for no reason at all.

You jumped when you heard more rustling from the woods, grabbing Rick's arm - since he was closest to you - and hiding behind him. He turned his head to you and raised an eyerbrow, making you lower your head in embarrassment.

Shane raised his gun instantly, pointing it at the forest and waiting for the creature to show itself. You grabbed Rick's arm a bit harder when the rustling got closer as you held your breath, body tensing. You relaxed though, when you realised who it was.

Daryl stopped in his tracks, looking at the gun in shock before his eyes trailed to the dead deer on the ground, geek laying next to the animal. His shock turned into anger, "Son of a bitch," he walked closer, "That's mah deer. Been trackin' it fo' miles."

The geek's head started to move again, making you cringe and Daryl scoff, "Don' ya know anythin’, people? Gotta be the brain," he lifted his crossbow and just like the first time you'd met him, he shot an arrow right through the eye.

Your group decided to leave the deer for safety reasons since nobody knew if it was still edible after it got bit. And you really couldn't say you were disappointed about the news, you probably wouldn't have eaten it anyway - your guilty conscience way too big. Though, the squirrel Daryl brought back with him wouldn't be any better.

But before you went back to the camp, there was one thing you desperately wanted to do; bury the deer. You wanted to give the poor animal at least a little bit of peace. So, you begged Shane - since he was always the one to make desicions - to help you. And after a few minutes he actually agreed, shoveling a grave before laying the deer inside.

After you were satisfied, you made your way back inside the camp, Shane following behind you. And the first thing you saw was Rick arguing with Daryl, and you could only imagine what the argument was about.

Daryl was rubbing his forehead, his eyes narrowing in anger as you and Shane walked closer. It probably wsn't the smartest idea to interfere in what was happening but you were curious and you did want to know how Daryl would take the news about his brother.

"Hold on, lemme process this," Daryl turned away from Rick, rubbing over his eyes with his elbow - and you thought he looked close to crying by the way his face twisted up for only a second before he turned to face Rick again, "Ya sayin' ya cuffed mah brother to a roof," his voice raised in volume, practically screaming, "And ya fuckin' left 'im there?"

Rick put his hands on his hips - a move he seemed to be doing a lot, you noticed - and nodded, "Yeah," unlike Daryl's, his voice was calm.

A 'pfft' left Daryl's lips and he pursed his lips, pressing them together and trying to supress his upcoming rage. It didn't seem to work though as he grabbed the rope hanging on his left shoulder and threw the squirrel he'd caught into Rick's direction.

The situation escalated even more when Daryl pulled his knife out of the holster he had on his left hip, swinging his arm around widly, trying to hit Rick with the weapon. Luckily, Shane was able to put Daryl down before he actually got to hurt anyone.

Soon after, they decided to go back and get Merle and for some weird reason Shane decided to send you with them. He came up to you while the boys were preparing the truck, you about to go back into your tent when he spoke to you, "Think you should go with them."

You turned around and your mouth opened in shock when you realised he meant you. You. "Wha- why me?"

Honestly, the last thing you wanted to do was to go outside the camp because, really, you didn't have a death wish. Moreover, you had close to no experience killing geeks and the others having to look out for you constantly would just slow them down.

Shane shrugged, his left eye twitching a little, "You were doing a good job earlier, you know, helping us with the geek."

You shook your head quickly, a confused chuckle escaping your lips, "Shane, I had no idea what I was doing," you pulled the hair tie Lori had given you only a few hours ago off your wrist and put your hair up into a ponytail, "Really, I'd be more of a problem rather than help."

You tried to talk your way out of it but by the way he was looking at you, you knew there was no chance of you staying at the camp, "You're going," he walked away and continued talking with his back to you, "I'm sure it'll be okay."

And then he was gone. And you were left standing there, your eyes trailing after him until he disappeared from your sight and if looks could kill, he'd have died on the spot. His words didn't make any sense to you.

You've done great.

You surely hadn't done great. You had a conjecture and acted on it, basically trying your luck without knowing how it would go. And it's not like you actually killed the geek - Daryl did.

I'm sure it'll be okay.

You wondered how he could even say that after the situation which had happened just a day ago. The last group to leave the camp was faced with death and almost didn't make it back - and you were sure they were far more experienced than you. You were also sure about one more thing; you really didn't like Shane.

You were standing beside the truck when you had prepared yourself to go - and with prepared you meant getting a knife from Dale. You were still hoping someone would come and safe you from having to go since you were sure the four men would be fine without you, and there really wasn't any reason for you to go. Again, you questioned Shane's intentions.

"Oh," you lifted your head at Glenn's suprised voice, Daryl standing next to him, making you even more nervous. The absurdity of the situation wouldn't allow you to give the young man a smile. You. Going on a rescue mission to safe the brother of a man who acted like he despised you.

"Yeah," you muttured, nodding your head.

Glenn seemed to realise you didn't really like the idea of going with them - and he could understand, of course - so he didn't answer anymore, just nodded and gave you a reassuring smile as he opened the back doors of the truck to let you inside.

The ride was awkward. Glenn was driving the truck, Rick siting next to him in the passenger seat. Daryl and T-Dog were in the back with you, each one of you sitting in a different corner. None of you said a word.

It didn't take long before the vehicle stopped - the brake squeaking - and Glenn turned around to face the three of you, "We'll walk from here."

Daryl was the first to stand up and jump outside while you and T-Dog started at each other before he slowly stood up as well. You allowed yourself a few more seconds to take a few deep breaths, rubbing your thighs with your shaking hands as Glenn reached out his hand in order to help you out. And, honestly, Glenn was about to become your favorite person and, hopefully, a good friend over time.

The walk was short and only took a few more minutes until you were standing in front of a large building, the sun blending you when you looked into the sky to see the roof as best as you could. You just wanted to get Merle as fast as possible so y'all would be able to go 'home'.

But to everyone's suprise, the roof was empty, only a bloody and cold hand was left behind.

You covered your mouth as your eyes widened and a gasp left you, staring at the limb before you looked at the redneck when he started to scream for his brother. And you were almost scared he would attract geeks with how loud he was being.

Your group followed the trail of blood in hopes of finding him somewhere inside the building. But it didn't change anything.

Merle was gone.

"I lost my police bag when Glenn saved me," Rick said as he stopped Daryl from searching for his brother on his own, "We can go and get it. It's full of weapons - guns, lots of guns - and then we can look for him together."

Daryl stepped away from Rick's touch and thought about the spoken words before he gave a curt nod, "We can do tha'."

And so it was decided. Your group made a plan how to get the police bag first and for that plan to work, you had to be in pairs. And, of course, just your luck, you were paired with Daryl. While Glenn would be the one to run and get the bag, Rick and T-Dog would wait around a corner while you and Daryl would wait around another corner to be able to help Glenn if anything went wrong.

And, oh, a lot of things went wrong.

Before you could react, there was a boy standing in front of you, screaming in a language you couldn't understand - but you assumed it sounded like spanish. Daryl raised his crossbow but before he could do anything, two older men came running towards the three of you, pushing Daryl to the ground and giving him a kick in his side.

Right in that moment, Glenn returned with the bag and a hat in his hands, looking at Daryl before his eyes trailed to you. His expression matched yours; mouth opened wide just as well as your eyes.

You ran to get Daryl's crossbow, which was laying a few meters away from him, as soon as the men's attention was on Glenn, sprinting over to him. It was heavier than you thought and your arms burned a bit when you picked it up and gave it to Daryl, who managed to shoot an arrow into one man's ass.

The next thing you knew, you were picked up and thrown over a shoulder before you got pushed inside a car, Glenn right after you.

"Daryl!" you screamed a few times until the car started moving and there was nothing the redneck could do to safe you. The car was small, you and Glenn sitting shoulder to shoulder, so he could feel your shaking body right next to him.

"We're gonna be all right," he whispered but it did little to calm you. And you loathed Shane for forcing you to go on that stupid mission, all you had done was give Daryl his crossbow, so why were you even there?

It took at least an hour until your kidnappers reached their destination. One of the men opened your door and grabbed your arm, pulling you out and leading you and Glenn inside what looked like a hospital.

"Ese," there was a light voice calling and the man behind you turned around, looking at the source of the noise, "What?" the unknown man lifted his arms, pointing them in your direction and having a look of utter confusion on his face, "Who are they?"

You lowered your head as the two of them started to discuss about you and Glenn, rocking back and forth on your feet. You were scared of them and what they would or could do to you. Nobody would be there to help.

"I said grab the bag, not bring two strangers with you!"

The voice pulled you out of your thoughts and only a few seconds later were you led further down the white corridors. And the sight you were met with almost eased your fear just the tiniest bit. Old people. A lot of old people. They were sitting in their chairs, just enjoying their time and it almost looked like a retirement home.

"You can just sit down if you want," the unknown man said, pointing at a few empty chairs. You and Glenn looked at each other and you raised your eyebrows as if to ask him what he thought, him responding with a little shrug and a nod. So, the both of you walked over in small steps and sat down.

That was pretty much how you spent the next few hours, just sitting there and watching the old people talk, occasionally standing up to change position or help somebody. At some point, you were brave enough to start talking to Glenn, not being all too scared anymore.

It was pretty late already, the sun starting to go down when the man from earlier walked in again but this time with a familiar face.

Rick.

You nudged Glenn with your shoulder as soon as you saw the member of the camp, nodding into his direction so that Glenn could see him as well. Daryl and T-Dog followed soon after, looking around skeptically.

"I thought you two were bein' eaten by dogs," T-Dog said when he saw you and Glenn walking towards them. And you almost laughed when the korean man raised an eyebrow and turned around, looking at the three tiny chihuahuas as they started barking as if they could understand our words.

You and your group got pulled into another room to talk about the situation without the seniors having to hear.

The unknown man - what seemed to be the leader of that hospital - explained their story. They didn't mean any harm, didn't even plan on meeting other people on their way to get the weapons. They were just as scared as you were.

Rick decided to give them a few of the guns and ammo we had inside the bag, showing his understanding. Still, he kept most of the weapons to himself and saved them for the camp. After the conversation, your group could go 'home'. The leader of the Vatos - that's how they called their group - said a big 'thank you' before he led y'all out.

But, of course, the relief you felt didn't last very long. Because when you and your people walked outside, the truck Rick and the other two had came with was gone.

"The hell is the truck?" Daryl asked at the same time Glenn spoke, "Who'd take it?"

"Merle," Rick pursed his lips as he seemed to realise Merle wouldn't want anything positive for the people who had left him behind - even if it was by accident. And if he found his way back to the camp, nothing good would happen.

And since y'all didn't have any other options, the streets being empty and no other car in sight, you started jogging towards the camp, trying to be there as soon as possible to prevent anything negative from happening.

You didn't think it'd be that bad.

The five of you could hear the screams from a distance and you could feel your heart sink once you knew they were coming from your camp. At first, you thought Merle was the reason for the loud noises, you didn't expect to see the entire - once peaceful - camp filled with geeks.

All you could hear was the screams of the people living here and the loud gunshots as they tried to defend themselves. It was dark by then but, still, you could see a lot of blood on the ground, coming from the people who had got bitten already.

You thought about running away, somewhere safer than there, but everything you had on your mind left you at once when you looked into an all too familiar face. It wasn't as beautiful as it once was, the skin being a light shade of gray and the teeth hanging out in an unnatrual way.

You took a step forward, almost as if you were in a trance, but jumped when another gunshot sounded and the face you couldn't seem to stop looking at fell backwards, blood spraying from the bullet wound.

"No!" you screamed, the tears that had been welling up in your eyes finally rolling down your cheeks. Your body reacted before your mind could as you got on your knees and crawled over to the body on the ground.

The others killed the rest of the geeks as you sat on your knees, practically sobbing at this point, tears blurring your vision, "Mom," you whispered shakily, touching her hair carefully.

You didn't even realise how quiet it got as your screams echoed around the woods, holding your mother's cold hand tightly. You didn't think you'd ever get to see her again and you were just trying to accept that, but seeing her like this put you at least three steps back.

Please don't leave me, I need you, you thought, your eyes wandering around the group for the first time since your parent got shot. And only then did you realise you weren't the only one crying. Amy - the girl you had tried to comfort just a day ago - was lying on the ground, her neck wide open and bood all over her. It was obvious that she got bit.

How ironic. Amy had been so worried about Andrea's well being, scared they'd get seperated way too soon and now it was the other sister laying motionless on the ground.

The sight made you cry even more. So many lives. And they got taken away as if they didn't matter at all. The others were darting their eyes back and forth, looking at you and then at Andrea.

You looked back down at your mother, your tears wet her white and dirty shirt. Your story wasn't supposed to end yet, you wanted a happier ending for her.

You sat like that for the rest of the night, the sun raising after a few hours and you thought the worst part was sitting there the next morning, realising she was gone for good. That morning, you felt physical pain for the first time - a deep ache consuming your whole body but mostly your heart - without actually being hurt.

Daryl came over to you after some time, sitting on his heels next you and your body tensed uncomfortably.

"We gotta-" he started to talk but you didn't even let him finish his sentence.

"Stop," you spoke curtly, shaking your head at whatever he had to say, "I wanna bury her," you waited for a response but when you got none you allowed yourself to look at him. His eyes weren't as hard and cold as they usually were - still distant but not cold. Maybe because he could actually understand you considering the current situation involving his brother.

He nodded softly and stood up, grabbing your mother by her shoulders, making you tense up even more, "Hey, hey! What are you doing?"

He stopped his actions, looking at you again, "Help ya dig a grave."

You stared at him for a few more seconds before you eventually decided you could use the help, so you let him continue, "Okay," you whispered.

And it was all going okay until Shane thought he had to tell his opinion even though nobody asked for it, "Hey," he called, walking over to you and Daryl, already beginning to shovel the grave up again, "We don't bury geeks. She wasn't one of us."

Daryl scoffed at him, his eyebrows furrowing into a glare as he stopped shoveling, "Ain't yer business."

Shane shook his head and licked his lips, "Sure is," he tilted his head a bit to look at you still working to close the grave, "We don't bury them."

You shut your ears after that, focusing on your task since you really couldn't care less about Shane in that moment. And you honestly couldn't even explain how much you hated him. The argument between Daryl and Shane got more heated and at some point it just kind of escalated.

"Hell with y'all," Daryl exclaimed, waving around with his arms, "Ya had this comin'," he pointed at your mother's grave with one hand before slowly gesturing to the other bodies as well.

And this got your attention.

You had this coming.

How dare he say these words? Innocent people died. And he has the audacity to act as if they deserved it? And point at your mother - the mother you'd just lost a few hours ago - while doing so? His words hurt and they cut deeper than a knife ever could. Did she deserve to die? Did you deserve to see her like this?

Too many questions you didn't know an answer for, but you did know one thing; You didn't want to see Daryl anymore.

"Go," you suddenly spoke up, "Both of you, I can do this alone," your voice cracked towards the end, your face twisting up in pain, showing how much Drayl's words actually affected you.

The redneck started talking again, seemingly realising his hurtful words, but you didn't let him finish, raising your voice instead and telling him to fuck off. Both men left eventually, leaving you alone to do your work.

Only a few hours later did your group decide to leave the camp behind in order to find help for Jim since he got bitten. So you packed your stuff just as well as the rest of the group to head to the CDC - hoping to get a cure and save Jim.

You said goodbye to your mother before you left, sitting at her grave for some time before eventually moving towards the van. You were hoping your group would be able to come back as soon as Jim got the help he needed.

You didn't think about a lot of things when the van started moving, but in the end you realised something.

Everyone leaves at some point.

Tag list:

@goth-cowgirl-03 @paintlavillered @hotgirlsshareaccounts @tiedyedghoulette @alialiclouds

[andforthecoating]

► Accidentally domestic

also on ao3

Summary: five times you and jack are domestic without realising it

inspired by a prompt list, though I lost the op!

Word count: 1267

1.) buying the other’s coffee for them without thinking

You walk into the Jeffersonian at the usual hour, your heavy bag slung around your shoulder and two cups of coffee from your favorite café a few minutes away in your hands. It doesn’t differ too much from your normal routine but you can feel Angela’s eyes following you as you make your way toward the office space.

Zach waves at you from where he’s sitting hunched over a piece of bone down the hall and you throw a happy ‘hey’ his way before continuing over to Jack’s desk.

“Hi,” you greet him, a bit breathless after your walk from the car- you’d had to park at the parking spot the furthest away from the building and the 10 minute walk had been agonising with your bag strap digging into your shoulder.

“Hi,” Jack says and turns to you with a small smile on his face. “Is that for me?” He gestures to one of the coffee cups.

“Yes, it’s from that café I was telling you about the other day. It’s probably the best coffee I’ve ever had.”

“Don’t oversell it now,” Jack teases before his expression mellows into something genuine, “no, but thank you, y/n.”

You smile and set down the cup you hadn’t drunk from beside him on his desk.

“Really, it's no big deal. You have to tell me what you think though.”

“Of course!”

You salute him jokingly as you walk over to your own desk. They’re not really far apart, just a few meters away, but they’re turned so that you sit with your back to him. You start unpacking your bag and taking out some of the research material you’ve been working on when Angela comes up by your side.

“Good morning, y/n!”

“Morning, Angela.” You say

“I see you brought more than one coffee today,” she says in a suggestive tone that you can’t quite read.

“Yeah, I was at this coffee place I really love and I realized I’d told Jack he should try it sometime.” You nod over to where the man in question is sipping from the takeaway mug. His face is concentrated and you smile, just as a thought belatedly hits you. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry that I didn’t buy anything for you guys, i just-“

“It’s no problem. I get it. It was a Hodgins exclusive,” she winks at that and you inwardly cringe. For all her smoothness, Angela hasn’t quite mastered the art of a subtle wink without scrunching up her nose yet.

She’s wrong though. You had just stopped in to buy your usual latte when you’d seen they had a special new blend. Thinking that it had Jack written all over it, you had bought that as well and walked out of the café with two steaming mugs in your hands instead of one.

“There’s no such thing as a Hodgins exclusive,” you say decisively.

“Hey!” Jack shouts from his desk, clutching his hand to his chest, “I’ll tell you I can be very exclusive.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it!” You counter and Angela rolls her eyes. She’s used to your antics by now and you know there’s a lot of love packed into the exasperated sigh that follows.

2.) knowing each other’s passcodes

“Oh I know! We should text someone from Hodgins’ phone,” Angela giggled as she eyed the phone Jack had left on their table in the bar as he’d made his way to the restrooms.

You reach for the phone, tapping a few times before conspiratorially pushing it toward Angela.

“Go crazy,” you say and take a sip of your drink.

Angela looks at you, her brown eyes wide with wonder.

“You know his passcode!?”

“Yeah?” You inquire, not understanding what she’s trying to get at, but before long she’s started tapping out a message to Brennan and the two of you collapse into a heap of giggles.

3.) always talking about each other to their other friends

“… because of that Jack has this thing now where he’s trying to see how many times he can make up fake facts before Goodman is onto him. It’s really funny actually.” You finish the anecdote you’ve been recounting to your long distance best friend on your weekly ‘catch-up’ call.

“You know you talk about Jack a lot, y/n,” she says and you stop in your tracks.

“What do you mean?”

“You bring him up in every conversation,” she explains, “I think I know more about what Jack Hodgins did today than I do what I did at work.”

“That’s- well I spend all my time with him, so it’s not that weird.”

“You spend a lot of time with Angela too but I don’t hear you mentioning her new bug experiment.”

“Well, Angela doesn’t work with bugs,” you say even though you know that’s not what she meant, your tone leaving no room for argument.

You can almost feel your best friend’s eye roll through the phone line.

“Sure,” she amends, probably tired of the topic, “so what are we doing for Halloween this year?”

4.) complimenting each other’s outfits

“What’s got you all dressed up?” Angela inquires as Jack walks in. He’s wearing a black button down with his beige chinos, which you know are his special occasion pants. He smiles guiltily.

“That obvious, huh?” He asks as he drops off the file you’d forgotten at his place yesterday. It’s his day off, so he really shouldn’t have, but you can’t say that you aren’t eternally grateful.

“I think you look really good,” you say as you reach out to fix his collar that’s slightly askew, “very hot and mysterious.”

He flashes you a grin at that.

“Are you saying you’d hit this?”

“Never in a thousand years.”

“But you’re saying there’s a chance,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. You swat him lightly across the arm and he yelps, a look of faux annoyance on his face.

“In your dreams, Dr Hodgins.”

5.) always sitting together rather than across from each other

The team is meeting at Booth’s noodle place after a particularly difficult case but so far the only people in the booth are you and Jack. You’d arrived ten minutes before the decided time and he had joined you just a few minutes late, apologizing until he realized you were the only one on time and then he’d just sent a small smile your way.

Now you’re sitting next to each other on the tacky red bench, you resting your head on his shoulder.

“What time is it?” You ask him as a yawn almost escapes your lips. You feel his shoulder shake with barely restrained laughter.

“It’s just past 8.10. They’ll probably be here any minute.”

“Good,” you say, subconsciously nuzzling into his shoulder even more. It’s been a long day and all you had wanted was to be at home with your cat and a cup of tea, but the team (mostly Angela) had insisted on this after-work.

After another few minutes the two of you decide to order, letting the owner pick out what he thinks is best. As your meals arrive the others still haven’t arrived. You and Jack share a look and you shake your head, shuffling closer to him in an effort to relax your body.

You sit there for another hour before Jack decides you’re too sleepy to drive home and offers to take you. You give him a grateful smile as the two of you part from the restaurant hand in hand.

[universaln0b0dy]

I'm not special (Rengoku Kyojuro x fem! Reader)

《Summary 》: You were known for being shy and akward, but polite nonetheless and being a village simpleton. Not incredibly pretty, nor talented at anything, so how come you snagged a Hashira?

《Note》: So the reader is insecure. (Cringe nicknames Ig)

Rengoku Kyojuro:

It was a wonder to say the least. Your parents had already given up the thought of ever seeing you married, but the man with the colourful hair saved them that sadness.

You had met him a few times, the first time was when he saved the village and a few times after, though you weren't sure if that was enough to consider you a possible bride.

But since you liked him there was a marriage and you swore by god, you were the happiest girl alive. Kyojuro really did love you you sometimes couldn't help but wonder why?

Your food was not the best not the worst and you knew that he in general enjoyed every bite of food, so it wasn't that. It wasn't your art, most definitely not, it wasn't like you were horrible at it, but you also weren't good and everytime you passed a mirror you were reminded why it also couldn't be your appearance.

You dropped the knife you were holding with a long sigh. You made dinner like always and waited for your husband to return, he had been on a mission for a few days now and you were starting to get worried. You decide to stop cooking for a minute and just stare at the wooden wall in front of you.

"Come here my love! It is raining! I don't want you to catch a cold."

You had decided to eat outside with him that day and it just began pouring. Your husband had just laughed using his white Cape(?) to shield you from the rain. Both of you had sprinted back to the house, accidentally forgetting the food outside.

It was one of many, many happy memories you shared with him, but all of it was tinted grey at the moment you realised he probably only married you out of pity. He never made you feel that way, but there was no better explanation to why he would take you as his bride.

Tears start dropping out of your eyes and a sob escaped your mouth. You turned towards the window, only to realise you also looked ugly when you were crying.

You didn't know how long you just sat there, staring at the table, watching your tears fall onto the wooden surface, as the door suddenly opens. You knew who it was without even having to see him, immediately you stand up ready to greet him. "[NAME]?" His loud voice boomed through the whole house.

You were about to call out to him until you remembered you had cried and still where. You didn't want him to see you like this, you didn't want him to worry about you, or even worse pity you.

You decide to continue cutting vegetables for dinner.

"[Name]? Are you alright?" Kyojuro walks into the kitchen. He couldn't see your face, which was good, but you were also scared of talking. What if your voice gave away you had been crying.

"My love, are you mad at me?" He mutters (loudly), hugging you from behind. You didn't want him to think that. "No..l- no, I'm not angry."

Your voice sounded horrible, just as you had expected. "[Name], have you been crying?" He slowly uses his hand to turn your face towards him.

This was the first time you saw him worried. Usually he was a smiling little ray of sunshine, but now? He looked so sad. "Dear, who made my special wife cry?"

He said special. Normally this wording would have made you laugh, but now the only thing you could say was: "I'm not special."

The silence was deafening, your husband just looked at you as if you were crazy. "What do you mean my love?" You didn't want him to look at you with that reaction, you wanted him to tell you that you were right and that he would leave, but the flame haired man didn't. He clasped your dominant hand and you sigh, wiping your face with the other.

"How I say it... I can't cook, draw, paint or sing. I'm not strong, I don't have any defined personality traits-" You can't continue as you loudly sob, shoulders shaking as you breath in heavily.

Kyojuro doesn't say anything else, pulling you into a hug. "My love, have I ever told you why I married you?" You shake your head slightly. "Than I will know. You might not remember, but after my fight I was terribly injured. Most of the people in your village didn't trust me, so they didn't come closer, but you ignored everything you were doing and rushed towards me, yelling at the people to help me. They listened to you."

He softly runs a hand through your hair/ over your head. "You have the ability to make people trust you, no matter how you act, people will listen to you. You help others and you are willing to use every bit of knowledge you have to make sure someone else is also safe."

You had never noticed that about yourself. Maybe you were too blinded by what you weren't, to see that. He pulls you even closer. "I asked to meet you out of curiosity and as a thank you, I expected you to be humble and quiet but once I asked you about your intrests you rambled about it, you were blooming in what you knew. That was the first time I realised I loved you."

You look up at him. "The first time?" Kyojuro grins his typicall bright smile. "There were a bunch of other times, for example the first time I heard you laugh, or when you accidentally burnt the food, or...."

You couldn't believe it, all those things he pointed out where things you saw as flaws. You look at your husband, how proudly he talked about you. You had fallen in love with him before, but now you were head over heels in a sink hole.

You grab Kyojuros face, he is still talking his eyes closed. You softly pull him closer to you, giving him him a kiss, which he immediately answers by also pulling you closer to him.

You slowly pull away. "I love you, my special husband."

"I love you too, my special husband."

[contentconsumer]

but you don’t like coffee?

a/n: just something to get me back into writing and rn i’m crushing so hard on steve harrington, maybe a future series? just some fluff lol, not my gif!

word count: 1k(ish)

requested?: no, requests are closed but ships are OPEN

pairing: steve harrington x reader

warnings?: usual stranger things vibes/warnings, steve being wholesome, 

summary: mutual pinning between the scoops ahoy worker and the barista across the food court.

robin was sick and tired of watching steve stare at the new girl across the mall. ever since you started working at a cafe opposite scoops ahoy in the food court, steve had suddenly taken a new found enthusam for being on the front desk - and robin wasn’t stupid, she had noticed his ‘slightly creepy’ staring at the poor girl who she remembered from their shared timed in high school. what was also creeping robin out was the fact steve was now early to his shifts, steve was many things but early was not one of them. robin’s breaking point was when she picked up on the fact steve had stopped trying to hit on every teenage girl who entered a 5 foot radius. 

on this particular wednesday robin could make out your figure clearing tables, simply minding your own business, with a sigh she turns to face steve who’s eyes are already following you, “why don’t you just talk to her?” “talk to who?” steve tries to play dumb, “the cafe girl you’ve been ooggling for the past 2 weeks” “her name is Y/N” “oh, she has a name!” robin claps her hands sarcastically, “brillant, so enlighten me - why do you know her name?” “because we went to high school with her” steve raises an eyebrow finally taking his gaze of you to stare at robin, “steve, do you really expect me to believe you remember a girl from high school who you probably never spoke to.” “how do you know i never spoke to her?” steve counters “did you ever speak to her?” “no, but-” “there is no but, why do you know her name? oh my god- have you been stalking this poor girl?” “what? NO! i just may have started visiting their cafe everyday before or after my shift” steve admits somewhat sheepishly “so you’re telling me that you’ve spoken to this girl” robin gestures wildly with her hands, “but not asked her out of made a move? thats not very king steve of you” she uses quotation marks with her fingers, “look, i’ve tried but she’s just” steve looks around exasperatedly, “different” robin gasps, “she makes you nervous” “no, i never said that!” “but that’s what it is, isn’t it? isn’t it?” robin repeated over and over poking steve in the side causing steve to lose his temper and bickering to occur, what they don’t realise while caught up in their argument is you walking into the store, in fact neither of them have any clue you’re there until you cough slightly and mumble a very quiet, ‘excuse me’.

the pair in front of you physically jump apart at the sound of your voice, “sorry i um didn’t mean to scare y’all” you cringe, “i was just wondering if you guys had any spare whipped cream we’ve ran out? i know it sounds so stupid but theres this kid at the cafe i work at right now having a full on meltdown because i said i couldn’t put any on his hot chocolate and i swear to god if i have to listen to a 2 year old screech in my fucking ear one more time i’m gonna loose it” you press your lips together offering a smile after your small rant.

for once in her life robin decides to actively help steve out by giving him the chance to reply to you yet after an awkward amount of silence she glances at him out of the corner of her eye to find his cheeks a deep crismon, he is nervous, she thinks before deciding to cut in to help whatever the fuck is going on, “uh yeah we do, i’ll go grab some!” she wanders off leaving you and steve again in silence, slightly cursing him to do something - anything. 

you cannot take much more of steve’s gawking at you, “so how's it going?” you offer a conversation starter, this helps snap steve out of his daze, “uh yeah, it’s um, it’s going - h-h-how are you?” he slightly stumbles over his words and you can see a red creep up his neck, “yeah i’m good” and soon you fall into a small conversation in which you decide to ask, “i was actually wondering if maybe you want-” “i got it!” robin reappears cutting off your almost-date proposal, with a sigh you slap on a smile and take the cream from her, “thanks so much,” you start to back out of the store, “oh and steve? i’ll have your regular ready for you tomorrow” you smile, “you’re a lifesaver” steve calls after you, his mind racing through what just happened and if you were going to ask what he thought you were going to, “your regular?” robin cocks an eyebrow, “black coffee.” steve mumbles, “steve!” robin exclaims “you don’t even like coffee!” “i might” “no you don’t and that’s a fact! once i let you try some of mine to which you said and i quote it tastes like ‘satans asshole’” “well maybe it’s grown on me” “no,” robin tuts “Y/N has grown on you” robin teases, “yeah well you ruined that chance,” steve pouts slightly, “what?” his best friend stares blankly at him, “she was gonna ask me something but you cut her off with your stupid cream!” “she asked for the cream!” “well you couldn’t wait 5 minutes?” steve shrugs with wide eyes waving his arms manically. 

you wander back across the mall, and a sigh escapes your lips once you get back to your cafe, where your friend and co-worker is staring at you with an expectant gaze, “well?” she asks, to which you shake your head, “i didn’t get to ask him, i got interrupted.” “ah too bad kid,” Y/B/F says ruffling, “well there's always tomorrow, when he comes in for his coffee which he throws away after talking to you” “yeah” you giggle, “there’s always tomorrow” “and once he says yes to going out with you please stop staring at him across the food court, you’re making many families and myself uncomfortable with you eye undressing” “hey!” you get defensive “i don’t eye-” “yes, yes you do Y/N” a blush covers your face, “in my defense, i think it’s the hair” this leaves both you and your coworker in an abundance of laughter all while robin and steve are back in another argument, going back and forth about how ‘robin ruined the moment’. 

[tempkiriri]

Tiger & Bunny Week (Day 1)

Technically I'm late but uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

April 2: Favorite Character, Episode, Movie, and/or Song

Most people seem to be doing them all, but I'll be skipping movie since there's only 2 of them.

Favourite Character:

MY CRINGEFAIL SON IVAN!!!! I relate to him immensely, even his dynamic with Edward I'd say I can somewhat relate to with someone in my life. It's uncanny. He tries his best to be outgoing but anxiety and self esteem issues sure are fucking bitches, so he can only really do it behind a mask. Even in S2 whilst his whole outlook may have taken a bit of a rollback, that's honestly realistic, not everyone can just keep marching and continuously improving themselves, there are setbacks and holes you can fall into at times. I wish we knew more about his personal life beyond his backstory of getting bullied as a child + what vague stuff we have of his hero academy days, a lot of heroes suffer from this, however. His passion for his hobbies is also just like me. He's cringe but he is free, just like many of us wish to be. Runner up is Keith I love the Autistic dog man

Favourite Episode:

I gotta go with Sky's The Limit. The title is a very OH GEE WHOS FOCUS EPISODE IS THIS kind but genuinely it doesn't prepare you for the content. There's a wholeass lore drop, an intense fight scene with a robot, and of course Keith being Keith. It also puts into focus just how much pressure heroes are put under when it comes to the rankings, and second place apparently not being enough for Poseidon Line is a very corporate reality. It's go big or go home. The ending is also like OH MY GOD IM CRYING???? Like, we know Cis isn't very capable of behaving like a human, but Keith doesn't realise she's not human at all, he treats her as any other person and falls harder than an anvil for her despite their short time in contact. It makes me think that Cis had a potential to be something, someone more than she was initially made for. And these two are a bit of a guilty pleasure ship that me and like 2 other people in the west side seem to ship and yes I will be taking those "Keith is still lowkey in love with her even in S2 era" crumbs thank you-

Favourite Song:

Oh shit this is where it gets tricky. I have so many, so I'll split it into categories:

OP: Earth Diver ED: Pilot Character Song: GHHHAAAAAA DONT MAKE ME CHOOOOOSE Other supplementary Song: Orion Wo Nazoru Hero Cover

I can't really put to words for Earth Diver, but I really like how it starts and kinda soothes you into the song before it really kicks. The lyrics are also very passionately sung.

I really like the calmer tone of Pilot and even though the explicitness of the shippyness isn't as heavy as Aida, the subtlety honestly fits them more. The credits themselves are also just beautiful; the visual aspect of them hits immensely hard in ep 14 especially since you saw what could happen to their suits in the fight the episode prior, and they're both no longer in their prime. Closing it out as they stare at the sunset makes me emotional and Proud Fiesta I love you but goddamn why did you return for Episode 25 that was a fucking mood killer I stg.

I love a lot of the character songs, with the ones from Best Of Hero very enjoyable romps, especially Mikirezakura and Thanks and Thanks Again, the energy these two songs have makes you wanna coreograph something. Some other highlights are POWER OF JUSTICE and Aaa Hero Suit. (Also Hidden Heroism actually kinda sucks it tries to be Mikirezakura 2 and thus loses out on an identity of its own which is very disappointing).

I love the harmony of the heroes cover of Orion, I can really picture them all in recording booths singing next to each other...who's the cheering guy, though? I've listened to this cover so many times and the line the cheering guy seemingly sings just sounds like Hirata's Kotetsu, I don't get it. I get wanting to balance the lyrics between groups and characters evenly but that was an awkward way to do it.

[rongzhi]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!

tagged by @extraordinarilyextreme 🕺🏻

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 86… wow! 61 of them are from the past 3 years (2020-2023) and then the other 25 span from (2011-2019) (would not recommend)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 827,446!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now I’m writing mainly for Oz and 成化十四年 (if you count a very slooooow moving WIP). Other fandoms: X-Men comics, Hamlet, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, HxH, Need for Speed, Avengers, 狂飙, TWD, and Nikita (lol). I have also written for a couple fandoms that I left behind in my ffnet days/orphaned works for on ao3.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Who Have The Souls (part 3 of a series) - HxH - Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck (681 kudos)

The Horror Not To Be Surveyed (part 1 of a series) - HxH - Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck (660 kudos）

Amethyst Remembrance (part 2 of a series) - HxH - Illumi Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck (483 kudos)

Suppositions - The Walking Dead - Daryl Dixon/Glenn (444 kudos)

Ash is Purest White - 成化十四年 - Ding Rong/Wang Zhi (179 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Once I actually started participating in fandom, I realised that this was something people strive to do, so I try to respond more now as well. Previously I did not respond to comments because I didn’t like how Ao3 counts author comments in the number of comments/reviews a fic had. I used to want to know exactly how many other people commented on my fic, probably because I got so few comments lol, and then it was just a habit not to reply. I try harder to reply now because I also like it when authors reply to my comments :)

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? LOL major character death fic, When Tomorrow Comes, EASILY. I legit cried while cooking when I was making dinner during the time that I was writing this. The masochism was real but the sadism was realer (making the group chat reap what they sowed lol)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hm! I have a couple that are rather fluffy but I would say the harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun (yeah yeah... hozier lyric title. sue me). They get married~

8. Do you get hate on fics? I tend to write small ships and rarepairs, so I think that’s sort of impossible tbh. I did get flamed a couple of times on ffnet back in those days, but... the joke was on the ppl flaming me, probably. You were expecting greatness from a 12 year old.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I write really cringe explicit scenes (not on purpose... that’s just how they turn out imo) but I've nver written pwp or anything.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? We shan’t speak of it and you’ll never find it, either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of… again, I don’t really write stuff that gets on anyone’s radar, I don’t think.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! I have had 5 fics translated into Russian and one translated into Chinese! <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? The crossover that shall not be named.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I know my url is literally rongzhi but believe me when I say I don't have one lol

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? (puts head in my hands) I don’t want to way I won’t finish things but I have multiple rongzhi wips still on the back burner (I’m committed to finishing at least ONE of them for sure)… Ugh, but of the fics I've already started posting, I doubt I’ll ever finish The Nineteenth Year of Chenghua or after the autumn breeze. Sadly, I was a little too ambitious about starting both multi-chapter fics. I’m more broken up about the former though, because it is EXACTLY my cup of tea… as a reader! Lol. I don't know... Maybe... I have bits and pieces written but 🙄

16. What are your writing strengths? I wanna say uhhhh dialogue?? According to trusted sources (much screaming and cursing), I have also been known to write some pretty devastating angst!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Description for sure… Plot… sometimes, if there is one… Probably not the best…

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'll write other languages into the dialogue of a fic if it's in character/appropriate. I don't see any issue in that—only issue is for ME... if I don't speak the language, I have to research how to make it not sound too machine translated, because I know how silly that will come across to native/fluent speakers if they read it. Even for my cfandom fics, there are some words like honorifics that I just romanise because I don't like to translate them to whatever the eng subs say.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I wrote Harry Potter fanfic in third grade before I knew what fanfic was, I guess. And then I wrote Harry Potter x Twilight fanfic in middle school once I did ... No, I do not come from noble beginnings... No, the HPxTwi crossovers are not the one that shall not be named. I also wrote a lot of X-men (comics) fanfic before I knew what fic was!

20. Favorite fic you've written? HMMM… Kind of partial to Bolt From The Blue (Is it bc Susu has gassed me up about it so much? Who can say?) (jk, I am very proud of that one and I did enjoy write it a lot!). More recently, I really like writing In the Blink of an Eye, just because it was in 2nd person which I haven’t written since my Homestuck days (you’ll never find those fics either). It was just fun to write!

tagging: @eatprayworm @annadream @merelyafigment @tocadoguara @qinzai @catholicjigglypuff @inrainprose and anyone else who wants to do this! Consider yourself tagged!

[34saveme34]

a 34 hc I have is that when they're cuddling the small one is whoever needs comfort more

4 read an especially bad hate comment? 4 gets small spooned

3 questioned his self worth in general because of something seemingly insignificant? 3 gets small spooned

I have the probably unpopular hc that they don't cuddle as much when they don't need comfort, their main way to do touch either ways would probably be holding hands and kissing anyways

also another thing is I think 3 is the more touchy one..... and def has a haaaaard time opening up about it

4 would like, slowly notice the signs when 3 would need like a hug or 2 and tries to initiate it himself

tho I think in general he would take a long time fully getting him

especially because communication isn't always the easiest with 3

with such things like 4 reaching out with "3, you kinda look like you need a hug" and 3 going into absolute denial with "No, I'm good actually- buuut if YOU really need it, I guess we can hug"

you would think when they get together, it would get easier but no (actually I'm talking from experience here)

also in my head, they both like headpats

4 probably likes headpats the most out of everything, as if he's being told he's done a good job (dog ass man)

3 gets so flustered about it and accuses him of treating him like a child, he does get used to it though and in some situations it can make him reeeaaally happy

4 is also more of a words of affirmation guy, with a bit of acts of service, touch or time would probably be after those, way less prominent than the first ones

3 would be acts of service first and foremost, then like a combo of touch and uhhhh I forgot what that one is called but the one where they make time for their loved ones

I'm now just yapping about gay headcanons....

anyways

4, to me would have like, old poems he wrote on his pc deep in folders somewhere, but they're like old and he thinks they're cringe but he keeps them anyways. They would mainly be about memes, but trauma inducing things too, and perhaps some feelings. He would have the like, worst poem ever that he would look at later on like oh my god, this is such a gay poem, how did I not realise I was bi (if you squint you can sort of relate this to my hc of him being oblivious to most things)

On that, I think he realises very late, especially cuz he just. doesn't think much about it. I still don't know when but yea, mainly because there's so many great times when he could realise it

3 is like, complete opposite. He comes on this Earth and knows that he's gay. Which is why, to me he never like points it out. He just is, to him, in his head, when you hear his name, the first thing that should come to your mind is "evil villain" the second is "gay"

also I think he likes bombs so much is cuz he relates to them. truly, sometimes his feelings feel like a ticking time bomb

[bretongirlwrites]

tagged by @sylvienerevarine for this tag game... i don't know who has already been tagged but i will tag @druidx and @redyn-nerevarine and anyone else who feels like it

How many works do you have on AO3?

91.. i have no idea how it got to that amount. most of them are like 500 words though. just bits. i also have 33 on fanfiction dot net but haven't posted there in years and years

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

146,927. which means i'm somehow significantly under my fanfiction dot net count (232,934!!) despite the 91 fics. damn what was i on back in 2015

3. What fandoms do you write for?

well you all know about the elder scrolls ones. have dabbled in dragon age and mass effect, but don't often publish what i write for those. my 2015 obsessions were merlin and sherlock and occasionally atlantis but they're pretty much abandoned

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

cannot really answer as i got hit a few times by the kudos bot. the formation of a courier is incontestably up there. as is where were you when the dragonborn came, but i've a feeling people accidentally end up on that one thinking the title is uhhh innuendo

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to... i don't get too many and idk what to reply other than 'thanks! :)' though

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

an ultimatum and well laid plans maybe... i can't really say that my fics have endings. since they're mostly scraps and i never finish longer fics

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

see above... i try to end things happily but since i'm writing fics from the middle it's not always obvious from what i publish

8. Do you get hate on fics?

thankfully not. except an instance of delphine hate that wasn't very favourable to the fic either. and that one time way back when, when someone criticised a fic for being unrealistic. because the count of monte cristo is so realistic

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do not. the only time i tried, it ended up extremely non-explicit anyway. and i deleted it off ao3 because it was cringe but it was getting tons of hits from people probably expecting more. i used to tag my fanfiction dot net ones with 'this will not contain smut or anything like that' because i didn't realise that smut was what people were mainly looking for

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've written?

i began a merlin/sherlock crossover that got quite popular but which i never finished... the crazy thing ended up being not so much the crossover but the existence of a magical teleporting conservative mp

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i damn well hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i used to translate my own fics into french... i no longer have the translations but knowing how bad i was at french in 2015, i doubt they were readable. maybe i ought to try again... since nobody else appears to be doing so hehe

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

no although i have written crack fics with my sibling that would never make any sense to anyone including us

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

i'm not really in this for the shipping... my oc victoria hatteras and her platonic soulmate harbert brown will always be my otp but i do not publish anything about them. am however fond of julienne and marcurio (all the book smarts and none of the street smarts), and lunette and ilmeni (which despite lunette's cavalier attitude to romance, i am determined will be perfect)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

occasionally i still get requests to continue the aforementioned merlin-sherlock crossover. but that's probably not happening. really the answer is 'literally any of them' since i don't remember the last time i finished a multi-chapter fic

16. What are your writing strengths?

uhhh uniqueness. chaos punctuation. sounding like i died two hundred years ago

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

anything actually happening that involves like movement and stuff

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i've not thus far felt like i needed to, at least for tes. if a fic called for french or german, then i'd try. if it called for anything else, i wouldn't trust myself or google translate enough. idk how readers would feel about that... i already invent words from french sometimes

19. First fandom you wrote for?

in terms of published works, it seems to be doctor who. in terms of generally... hell probably still doctor who, i was obsessive when i was younger

20. Favourite fic you've written?

all and none of them. the aforementioned formation of a courier... and the imperial city irregulars, that was a good one. i seem to be more consistent and less cringe where comedy is concerned than more serious fics

[inflammatory]

( @deactivated1987 ) LOL it’s time for my eternal sunshine treatise. I think the premise made me expect way too much of it cause it sounded up my alley - memory stuff, unconventional structure, the whole brainscape thing, and most importantly I’m really into messy breakup plotlines. but i feel like a lot of the potential was squandered

Main offenders imo were the script and the score, i hate to use the word “cringe” because I’m tryna be credible here but to me it was. You could write it off as the awkwardness of navigating relationships, but I think with the heinousness of the first few scenes of them and the non-linear progression it set for me a weak foundation for the skip to them broken up and her memories erased. Kate winslet said “I apply my personality in paste” and i went naoooouuuuuurr noooaaaaoooo this cant be happening. I get that for most people it seems to work though judging from the 4.2 on letterboxd. However i get secondhand embarrassment really easily and cant deal with persistent awkwardness

I also feel like the emotional core of the movie hinges on the chemistry of the relationship and i couldnt see a single thing either of them might like about each other. He’s a white man with a journal and she’s a girl who dyes her hair, ok. Script comes into play again - with relationship dramas I attest that it all depends on how your leads talk to each other - just straight up talk yknow. Both Winslet and Jim Carrey were quite definitely cast against type and in my opinion it shows because the line delivery rarely hits smoothly. Here it’s difficult to skilfully portray a relationship breaking down if your justification for them being together in the first place is poor - breakups hurt because of love, and most of that is done through scenes of them lying together on the frozen river (pretty scene, I liked it at least), being physically intimate, and, again, the weird timeline conversations that I loathed. So i wasn’t sold on their connection beyond the surface level. Felt like when my friends have boyfriends who are bordering on invertebrate organisms

With a connection that’s weak I think the punch of the argument scenes falls short. And there are so many of them, so to me they just fall out of the sky like birds. And that’s crazy of me to say because arguments are probably in my top 3 best things in the whole world. I feel the autobiographical nature of the male lead keenly in his regular just some guy eyes. His contributions to the supposedly vicious arguments are mediocre. Because I think the movie leans towards the vilification of the lady. Where she’s the unreasonable one, claiming she’d be a great mother and everything when she’s like deeply fucked in the head et cetera. I support the sentiment of manic pixie dream girls asserting their personhood and autonomy (but i also prefer my off putting women with swag and self awareness). Overall I don’t think she’s well written per se, but she’s definitely the most written out of everyone else there. If pressed i can respect that they made her thoroughly unlikeable on purpose and leave it at that. It’s still a paean to the age old story lick that goes “this pretty and interesting young woman approaches you, yes, you, ordinary man, and is interested in you, you, journal writing white man who is a vehicle for the man writing the journal of this story, and your breakup will be 90% her impulsive fault and not yours”.

Bits of the movie that are also meant to be comedic i think? Really didn’t work for me either. When the medical staff were partying in his house I was too deeply scandalised to suspend my disbelief. When he was his toddler self under the table I had to politely avert my eyes. The score exacerbated all of this

Before this movie I didn’t have a rating system because i felt bad rating movies and the reason I have one now is because I wanted to rate eternal sunshine 1 star. In all fairness the 1/2 star is because i realised i could make it even lower and did so out of the rage of freshly finishing it. Retrospect I’d maybe add a star for the scene where he lifts the pillow up from smothering her and she’s disappeared. But i won’t because i think my vendetta is set in stone by now

[mikomikono]

hi miko! im here with a fic writing question… i was thinking about how to make smut good bc recently i feel like whenever i get to the smut part of the fic im writing i get super bored, like im just rehashing whatever ive been writing in every smut scene ive done for years. you and endles came to mind bc i always find your guys nsfw scenes really compelling, and great, and unique. while also being hot and fun (very important w smut!!) so i wanted to ask if you had any tips for keeping things exciting or fresh when you are tackling those scenes! especially because you guys have experience writing the same characters many times over and manage to be so creative and distinct with every scene ive read from you. so, i guess, penny for your thoughts, if you feel like it! (sorry for sending this only to you and asking for both your opinions, it was the simplest 😭. if u want to answer yourself only thats fine haha)

❤️

Heyyyy oh my god I never expected to become someone ppl would come to for writing advice, what an honour 💖 also, I hope you don't mind me answering publicly, bc I feel like this is something a lit of writers struggle with! I will put it under a cut tho, bc I ended up writing quite a bit oops

So. Smut. It's kinda funny you should ask me about that, bc the first proper sex scene I ever wrote was last year for Steamship Sexcapades (bc I am not counting that one feeble attempt at 19 that was so cringe that I hid it away and didn't even think about trying again for like 8 yrs) but I suppose after writing *checks The Canon word count* a lot since then means something :DD

Here's the thing: I also feel like I'm rehashing things. Constantly. There's only so many ways you can say "cock in hole ➡️ thrust" before you're gonna have to repeat some phrases. And honestly, I feel like I repeat phrases remarkably often! But in a way that's all writing! (or that's how I stop myself from getting too depressed about it lol) The readers don't notice! Usually. And as long as you don't use the exact same wording every single time.

Ok, so here's a few tips on what I, personally, think you need to make a good sex scene:

Don't be afraid of the words. Y'know, the first time I wrote "half-hard cock" I (allegedly) had to take a 10min break and texted a friend that I was not going to be able to do this. But after a while you sort of get used to it and the words that seemed embarrassing stop being that, and become just... Words. And you also shouldn't shy away from more "cringe" words! Sometimes its fun to be a little cringe!

Related, you should try to love the words. But that's just good general writing advice, I feel.

Describe the emotions. Most people feel... something towards those they are intimate with, and that should be true in erotica too. It should be especially true in erotica, I think! Even if it's a one night stand, strangers who met in the club 5mins ago, whatever... You want the characters to feel.

Don't forget the physical. This is a thing that might seem a bit... weird. Like, you're writing sex, how could it not be physical? But what I mean is that you shouldn't forget to describe how it feels to the people involved, most notably your POV character. It's very easy to get lost in describing what they're doing and completely forget to get into the actual feeling. You're not writing a sex manual! And I have read fics where half way through I realise that's what it sounds like.

It's never just about the sex. Even if you think it is, it's not. It's about the connection, the narrative, the characterisation... It's about showing something that you can only show through the kind of vulnerable intimacy that sex scenes provide. Even if it's a oneshot pwp, it still has something to say. Maybe that something is wanting to get your rocks off, but also we're talking about fanfiction... We don't read and write that just to get off. It's always about the characters.

Rehashing is fine, actually. As I said, there's only so many ways to describe certain things, and so many ways you can have sex. Except that's not really true, because the secret to keeping it fresh is mixing it up! You can change positions, you can change who's the top/bottom, you can add foreplay (you should) and then change what kind of foreplay you wanna have! You can look into kinks! You can change locations! (I know we've done that a lot) You can add or remove any number of things to make each individual encounter different! And that's the key: repetition is fine, so long as you don't use the exact same everything every time. Case in point, there is a tumblr post which I would link except I'm on mobile, that is titled sth like "list of vocal sounds for smut", which has a list of, well, sounds/verbs (moan, groan, hiss, whimper, whisper etc) and adjectives that could be paired with them (hoarse, needy, quiet, throaty, desperate, wanton etc). The point is, that the best way to keep from sounding repetitive is to mix and match the words so that even if you say "groan" five times in 5k words, it's a different kind of groan every time. The same applies to sex acts! Do you have any idea how much cock Ryunosuke has sucked during The Canon? A lot. But it doesn't feel repetitive (hopefully) because everything else around it is switched up.

And perhaps most importantly: you gotta be at least a little horny for it yourself. I get it, man, writing smut is weird. You sit in front of your computer, staring at the monitor like "hmm is it better to use the word cock or dick or member?" And like... That's not very sexy. But! But!!! At the end of the day you gotta write something that makes you excited! Otherwise what's the point? Why are you writing if it doesn't fulfill you on some level??

Anyway, that's just my thoughts on the matter. If you want more specific help with writing, you can always DM me, I don't mind~

Also, endles says she is too mentally exhausted to properly answer, but she seconds everything I said, especially the point about loving the words. Actually she really wants to say sth about that, so I'm paraphrasing her for the rest of this:

You, as a writer, should love language. You should love the neat little things that language can do and seek out new things to try every time. It's a journey of discovery! Just like sex is always a new journey, even if it's the same characters and the same sex acts, every individual time is a chance to find something new. Let yourself have fun! Write something really stupid and work from that. The way I create scenes by writing jokes, even for serious scenes, because sex at the core is kinda funny. You're standing naked (at least partially) in front of this other naked person and it makes you feel a bit funny.

Also concrete advice: pick a list of 5-10 words you want to use. They can be anything, verbs, nouns, adjectives, as long as you really, really vibe with them, because they make you happy, as long as they're not words you already use a lot. They can also all relate to the same theme if you want! And then find a way to put all those words in.

[tkfluff-fanatic]

hi hiii good day any poland headcanons <- deranged

You know, anon, the reason this ask took so long to respond to is because I started overthinking it. I don't know how I managed to overthink an ask of 7 words, but I managed. Anyway, here you go; I did a mix of both regular and tk headcanons.

Ahh Poland...the guy ever...

He can fight for sure. He's not particularly tall (he's 7ft something) but honestly, he uses that to his advantage if he's fighting.

His relationship with Czechia could be considered a qpp, he just hasn't realised it yet. Also he's a homophobic homosexual. They go to clubs together a lot, and sometimes Poland will stay over at Czechia's place if he's having a particularly bad night terrors.

I'm one of the cringe motherfuckers that headcanons him with a scar on the middle of his head. I'm sorry. It looks fucking badass, what do you expect from me??

Wears boots everywhere, all of the time. It could be 45°C and he's in fucking boots.

Okay tk headcanon portion below.

Poland...one of my many country designs that was awarded with wings. But flying comes at a horrible price. (The price is an extremely accessable death spot. To be honest, the entirety of his back is a death spot. This goes for any of my countryhumans with wings, too.)

He squirms. A lot. Will deck you in the face if you're not holding him down. Also he's awfully loud, has zero volume control when he's laughing. Due to this, he has a habit of covering his mouth, both to muffle himself and because he doesn't particularly like his smile.

He blushes extremely easily and DESPISES IT. God forbid you comment on the fact he's blushing! He'd start cursing out your entire bloodline.

Honestly, the only time he gets people is if it's payback, with a few exceptions. He's fully driven by spite. Gets the person twice as bad as they got him.

He loooves using people's words/tactics against them. Thinks it's the funniest shit ever because it gives him the right to be a smug asshole, all like "What? Can't take what you dish out? Woww..."

As previously mentioned, he's a smug asshole. Does not shut the fuck up the entire time. Lov s to pretend he's not doing anything, constantly saying shit like: "What's wrong? What's got you laughing so much? "Stop"? Stop what? What am I doing?"

Also, he's got no problem plucking a feather off of his wing if it's necessary.

[peaceheather]

Hi! Just want to say I love your fic From the Shadows to the Light. I re-read it loads of times and am absolutely blown away by its awesome every time.

I was recently talking about a different fic and how I’d never read one with so many greatly written OCs but I’ve just finished rereading your fic and realised there are so many detailed and amazingly fleshed out OCs (or characters you barely knew to any depth in the actual show that they might as well be OCs). From what I’ve seen it’s a true skill that not many fan-fic writers have to pull off so many OCs in one fic so brilliantly.

Also like 4 months ago AO3 stopped sending me emails for the fics I’d subscribed too and I when I finally got around to checking your fic again there was soooooo many new chapters just waiting for me to read XD Seriously can’t wait to read Merlin’s ceremony and finally find out exactly what Arthur has in mind for him ^^

Thanks so much for writing this fic, I love everything about it!

Thank you so much for the kind words!

I think there's a sort of fanfic tradition lately that pushes the notion that original characters are always bad or cringe, or nothing more than self-inserts that don't move the story forward in any way. I have always disagreed with this notion; like any writing convention, original characters can be overused, but without them, you are stuck using only the original cast of characters, and if you expand the original canon world at all, you end up with a handful of people rattling around in an empty space like marbles in a shoebox.

The world of Shadows, as you know, is pretty huge. The main characters *have* to run into other people as they travel, whether I flesh them out or not. I could write scenes where the characters, for example, go to an inn and get a room, and never include any of the encounters with the innkeeper or other staff or other inn guests, but... well, why? That limits the story, and while there's a time and a place for that too, I generally think an empty world is a boring world.

Thank you again for a great comment! I love that you're enjoying the story so much.