#i couldnt get a picture of it i was 100% happy with for the life of me

[apencilandpen]

[onmymasa22]

I feel like right now, i just have to let go. This happens in the worst times. Why is it that when times are the worst, i feel the best. I feel like the stress to preform is taken off and everyone accepts me as i am. Its a release. Its shichrur. I just go with it. I want to do fun things. I let it all go, i be direct, i dont waste my time. I have boundaries. Im just not the same person. Im not who i used to be.

I see people who have life figured out. They have jobs and see their friends and look happy. They have successfully adulted. I feel like that thats where i fail. I have not successfully adulted. I dont have a job yet because im trying to catch up on school. Im getting a degree in art which doesnt really point to a job. Its not like being a nurse or social worker. Sometimes i wish i did that instead so msybe my life would make sense. I feel like i dont know where the end of the road will get me. I get my grades from idiots in a school where the teachers are stupid. I have put myself through a stupid situation from my choice. And i look at people who are nurses and married and happy and i think, where the hell did i go wrong. Where was the lesson on pick something that will be normal. Why couldnt i have a normal life. I just compair my life to othets when people look at my life and are shocked. Like how did u do that. I just want a job. A job gives you a life. It lets me breathe. It gives me money to support myself. I want to just be. To love my life and enjoy everything as it is. To make money so i can eat well. I want to just enjoy everything.

I hope u choke in your sleep you fucking idiot.

תקשיב לסיטואציה. חברה אחת בדירה שלי אמרה שהיא תמצא לי חתן טוב? שאני אגיד לה מתי והיא תסדר לי דייטים. אז מה קרה- היא אומרת לי שיש מישו מזה נשמה, לא יודעת איך קוראים לו, אבל אני אצא איתו מחר. בסוגריים היא לא אמרה לו שהיא לא מעוניינת. אז היא אומרת לי לשמור אותו בפלאפון אז הוא שמור אצלי כ"מישו" והיא דוחפת לי את הפלאפון להיות כמו המזכירה שלה להגיד שהיא לא רוצה אותו. אז אני אומרת לו והוא מזה לא מבין מה קורה כאן. זה 00:30 בלילה, כן? אז היא אומרת לי אחרי שיחה שאני לא כלכך יודעת מה להגיד לו שקורה עכשיו לשלוח לו הודאה. היא לוקחת לי תפלאפון ואומרת

Today is day 100 and some are dancing. Some are mourning. Some dont know what to do with themselves and are trying to just keep breathing. I think i fall into that third group. Its this feeling of trying to be ok in a new normal. The mix of the war, the weather, the aclimation to differences. This year, i lost friends. I'm just trying to breathe. Can an entire nation be depressed. To be alive during a time where israel is being sued for genocide and germany is on israels side is wacky. I guess, if you feel depressed, and you're waiting for the warm sun, for the feeling of vacation and summer, for no more war, for beach days, for sandals and icecream and evening breeze and sunsets. Im with you.

פעם הראשון בחיי שמישי באה עלי באמצע שיחה עם חברה, ואני לא מפחדת מזה, אני לא

I need to really listen to myself enough doing wjsy other people want. I want to d what i want

Hashem please heal me. Please make me feel better. Please make my headstop hurting. I want to just be ok.

Would you marry yourself? Yes. I appreciate myself. You need to show.

I dont want to go every week, out of my way to see ppl who dont go out of their way to see me. I cant kill myself for u. Im stopping to kill myself for other people. Ur not worth me killing myself for. No one except my famiky will kill themselves for me. I dont want to feel bad for not coming. They make me feel bad for not coming, fir not calling enough, for not any of that. I really regret heing in that picture. It was so bad. Like so bad. But i loved netanel. It was just really bad. I know what that feels like. Sometimes if i dont end up taking it ill have trouble getting out of bed and doing anything. And if u have a super high work ethic with that, its two opposites and i just hated myself. So id tell myself, ok, this is just the lack of ur concerta or ritalin, just breathe, and take it tomorrow and hopefully tomorrow will be better. Or if u want to take a break from it, u say tomorrow will be better because your body needs to get used to being off it.

Sometimes being off your meds for a day can be really hard. Either you forget, or you need to get more, or you are going on a break from it because of the side effects. Its overwhelming to be on meds. Because off it, you are unpredictable ranging from will you be an adult that day to will you get out of bed. And then on it, you arent hungry, headaches in the evening, you might feel like bugs are on you, constipation. Its not a perfect situation either. Its a scenerio u get to choose, sure. It bdcomes more predictable, it eases you feeling overwhelmed, allows u to organize your brain. But i have cried from the thought that eating enough will always be difficult- not from any disorder, just with the nedication- not hungry at all- zero appetite, without medication- cant get myself to food shop, cook, eat, clean up- its alot. Its probably the hardest thing in my day to day. Just making food for myself. And people have called me anerexic or having an eating disorder. And its really not. Its nust hard, and i never have a constantly big appetite. When im busy, im never hungry. I can go until i feel i have zero energy left in my body and then

The nova party really affected me. Im condtantly seeing pictures of people i knew or people who my friends knew. When the war started, i kept saying that i feel like we need a short leash. Everyone needs a really short leash. We need to really hone into whats really important and let go of everything else. I feel like the energy of the people at the nova party went into me a bit.

You had goals

You had things that you wanted before your life turned upside down.

You loved coffee in the morning, talking to friends, going to the beach, eating pizza. You loved slow friday mornings and breathing in the sun. You loved music and color. You loved laughing so hard you cry joking with friends in the middle of the night. I want to just do things that i enjoy.

I'm with people where no one knows where they are going. This isnt medical school. We're all just here for the ride and we're enjoying being with each other for it.

Its the first time someone came to me, interrupted a conversation with a friend to tell me how what i did wasn't ok, and i took it, but knew as it was happening that it wasn't about me. I couldve dont it differently, and i definitely would have had i known that it bothered her. With the same information, had i done everything differently- no, not at all. If i wouldve known it bothered her, would i have done it? No.

I feel like now alot of people r just somebody's that i used to know.

כשהמרצה מראה אמנות של

Nguyen Dinh Dang

ומספרת על אמנות אסית ולא יודעת בדיוק מאיפה במזרח ואני אם חצי שם חצי לא כאני חולה אומרת בלי לחשוב פעמיים "זה ואטנאם" וכולם מסתכלים עלי בהלם. והמרצה שואלת איך אני יודעת ואני אומרת שכתבתי את עבודת הפרוסמינריונית שלי באמנות ויאטנמית והשם הזה מוכר לי.

[thekingofwinterblog]

It’s all for his sake - Endeavor and the Sunk Cost Fallacy

My hero academia 301 is a pretty interesting chapter, but for me, the most notable piece of it was how Endeavour reacted to the realization that Touya couldnt surpass All Might.

upon realizing that his son might not be able to do it because of inborn physical limitations, he immediatly stopped his training, which frankly was the responsible and adult thing to do. 

This stint of real parenthood did not last long however.

After taking the matter to a doctor, he is flat out told that not only cant Touya achive what endeavor wants, but it is a direct result of his incredibly selfish and irresponsible attempt to play god, by trying to breed the “perfect” hero into being.

It is how you react when you lose however, that shows who you really are, and endeavor illustrates that very, very well.

Upon being told in no uncertain terms that his attempts at Breeding an heir failed magnificently, producing a child that was not capable of resisting his own immense power, but also admonished by his doctor for even attempting it, and adviced not to try again, Endeavor instead doubled down, while focusing on the child he screwed over from the start with his attempt at genetic manipulation.

It was all for him you see. Endeavor doesnt use those words, but that is how he spins it here. it was all for Touya, all for his sake. if i stop now, then Touya was all for nothing, a mistake, im doing this for my son.

if im doing this for my son, then im not responsible for any of this.

his wife however, calls him out on it, as she understands Touya much, much more than endeavor does. or rather, she sees him fully as a human being, instead of as a thing, a weapon, a failed attempt at an heir.

Unlike Endeavor, Rei is able to see the way this all is affecting her son. She is able to see, and understand that Touya has fully accepted what Endeavor wanted him to be. a stronger, and better version of himself. however, unlike Endeavor, she only cares about him as a person.

Endeavour by comparison isnt completely uncaring about Touya. like most abusive parents, he does possess love for his offspring, but it is forever tainted by the fact that however much he might care, or not care about Touya, any familial love he has for his son is tainted by the fact that to Endeavor, he is a failed experiment, a failed heir, not his child. 

He is the golden child that Endeavor was building up as his true and only heir, who he breed, trained, and molded to for that single purpose, and now that he’s reached a point where he cant continue that legacy.

so, its time to abandon him, and start over new, despite literarily having just learned how stupid this plan was, and that it can, in fact, go completely wrong, with a quirk that will fuck over the person he brings into the world.

Of course, Endeavor doesnt use those words to frame it. there is no way to pretend to be a hero, if you phrase it like that after all. Intead, this is the words he uses.

this is a very important series of panels for a great number of reasons, some that can be debated, argued, and we will probably never know the full truth to the questions because this is a series published in 2020′s shonen jump, and there are things that probably wasnt gonna fly with Hori’s editors, if it was the case.

but lets start with what can not be debated. Endeavor’s words here.

“If we want him to give it up, then we have no choice... Touya... Cant surpass him.”

These are very telling words, and however you believe The third and fourth children of the Todoroki family was concieved, there is not denying the meaning of what he’s saying here.

The only way that my son will stop being an idiot and fall into line, is if we have another baby. that is the only Right way to move forward. it is morally right, because if we dont do this, then he’s going to destroy himself.

there are two ways to interpret this scene.

The charitable way is to read it as the fact that he used Rei’s oldest son’s mental state as a justification of guilting his wife to have a third child, to give this attempt at a superpowered breeding project another shot, despite the fact that they now know that this can lead to a child who is essentially born crippled from his own powers, and despite the fact that Rei obviously understands the effect of them continuing this insanity will have on their oldest son.

the uncharitable way to look at it, is that he used this as justification for flat out raping her, and forcing a third, and then later a fourth child on her.

I personally believe the last one, given a number of factors shown in this chapter(the way this page is framed, the fact Rei obviously didnt want a third child, given she predicted exactly how touya would react, the way her eyes would latet turn when she looks at who is presumably touya which really brings to mind how she would later react to her youngest son’s face after her mental breakdown, etc.), but i’ll frankly admitt that withouth a direct quote from Hori, its impossible to know for sure one way or another. 

either way however, this is a very good example of Endeavor both being influenced by, and using Sunk Cost Fallacy to justify bringing another potentially crippled child into the world for his own, selfish goals.

sunk cost Fallacy, is a mental reaction to when you invest more time and resources into a project, that you becomes so emotionally invested into said project that you will continue to invest into it, even if it reaches a point that it becomes clear that the resources you put into it, far, far outweighs the potential gains you can achieve.

because if you give up after having invested years, and years of effort to breed, raise, and train a kid, and then all that effort was absolutely wasted. hence he choose to keep going, despite having learned what a terrible idea this is.

He doesnt care about the fact that his next child might be even more crippled than his firstborn, he doesnt care about his son’s actual wellbeing. he cares about the fact that if he doesnt continue this insanity, then not only will he not achieve his dreams, but everything he did to get to this point was for absolutely nothing.

and endeavor cannot accept that. and so long as he can justify breeding more children into the world, and there being any chance they might inherit both quirks perfectly, he doesnt care about anything else.

and the moment he realised that this kid wasnt gonna cut it either, he did it again. it is not a coincidence, that the age gap between Endeavor’s second, third, and fourth children were all 3-4 years apart. because thats the age where you can usually tell when a quirk will manifest or not, as established earlier in the series.

While she isnt brought up directly by Endeavor as a justification, it is very telling that Endeavor decided on having a third child, only after his second child was old enough that he could tell that that there was no chance she could take the place as his heir instead.

So, he had his third child, and as time passed and it became obvious that he wasn’t gonna be able to fulfill Endeavor’s goals either, he dumped him, and instead breed a fourth child into existence.

and finally, he struck gold. he did it. he produced Shoto.

everything was finally worth it, and now, everything would be absolutely fine. the cost fallacy had reached its end, and it was now all full sails ahead.

except of course it wasnt.

His oldest son, now in middle school, had been raised from birth to believe he would surpass his father, only to be thrown away, and getting to see his father try to replace him, not once, but twice.

frankly, this scene is probably my favorite in the chapter, because it goes to show Endeavor’s mindset. Natsuo made a point that their father completely ignored his older children. and he did... from Natsuo’s perspective. however, having a more thourough picture of things, we can clearly see that this wasnt the case with Touya.

Endeavor genuinly cared for Touya, enough that once he got that child he tried to breed into existence 4 times, he genuinly wanted him to just abandon trying to be a hero. he genuinly thinks of himself as a good dad here, wanting his son to abandon the mission he set out for him before he was born. of course, with context, this heartwarming scene is incredibly sad and insidious, because we understand why Endeavor got so attached to his oldest child. because he WAS the golden child. he was the child Endeavor genuinly cared about, and invested in, and trained personally with great warmth and enthusiasm.

And not only did he abandon him as a failed project the moment he realized he wasnt gonna live up to his ridiculous standards, but he literarily created 2 more kids to try and replace him, just as his oldest son was old enough to understand what exactly his dad was doing. over the course of this chapter, we get to see Touya’s start as a 5-8 year old, his deteriorating mental state over the years, until he finally seemed to reach the breaking point with Shoto’s birth sometime in his middle school years 12-15. 

Endeavor is in this scene, just not capable of understanding why Touya so desperately wants to become a hero, when obviously he isnt physically able to do so. he isnt able to understand that he is 100% to blame for the fact that his son is having a full emotional breakdown after literaly being replaced by his siblings. 

In other words, Endeavor genuinly think’s he’s a good person. a person who has made a few mistakes along the way sure, but a person who was always justified in the end, and now that he’s having to face the fact that as dabi would later say “The past never dies” and has to face the aftermath of his inane attempt to play god for the pettiest of reasons, things simply arent going to work out.

He isnt going to have a happy family, who can now put the awful early years behind them, he put way too much effort, caused too much suffering and sacrificed too many years of his life for this not to work out as he wants.

after all, if he walks away from this project now, and lets Shoto have a normal childhood, and decide for himself, with no pressure from him, wheter or not to become a hero, then the sunk cost fallacy will have reached a negative end. it will all have been for nothing.

and we know he did eventually double down on this mentality, literarily beating into Shoto that he WAS going to become a hero, and there was not but’s or no’s about it.

there was no way that Endeavor was EVER going to let things be for nothing. His treatment of his older children could not be for nothing. His treatment of his wife could not be for nothing. His treatment of Shoto, and the way he beat him black and blue to train him, could not be for nothing.

Because if it all was for nothing, if everything he feels guilty about was for absolutely nothing, then he was in fact, a bad, bad person, who had no justification for anything he ever did.

[eternallyhyucks]

nct dream as a skater bf

requested by: @feyregels (sorry it took so long !!)

pairing: skater! nct dream x gn! reader

word count: 644

genre/warnings: fluff, none

—note: this is my first time trying something like this!! i hope you like it :)

𖤐 ྀ

when you met him, he was probably using haechan’s skateboard so you assumed he was a skater boy and just😍

when you met him, he was probably using haechan’s skateboard so you assumed he was a skater boy and just😍

when you met him, he was probably using haechan’s skateboard so you assumed he was a skater boy and just😍

then when you two started talking you found out he actually wasnt but you still liked him bc hes mark, who doesnt like him🙄

assuming you skate, you would probably want to teach him how to just to complete his look

knowing him, he’d either get the hang of it super quick or be so bad that you cant even continue to teach him

either way dating mark is fun no matter what he is

haechan

WILL bully u if u suck

but if he also sucks, he’ll get butthurt if u bullied him about it

would probably help you out at first but when u get better, he’d make sure to purposefully push u so you fall and then laugh

WHY AM I MAKING HIM SEEM LIKE A REAL BULLY HELP (maybe bc he is🙄) PLS DONT BULLY ME HES MY ULT

anyways he would probably want to skate with you all the time tbh

jaemin

hyper. he is a hyper skater bf

idk i feel like most ~skater guys~ seem / act dead all the time but jaemin?? acting dead ???? not a thing !!

he’d probably be on a coffee high all day but lucky for him, u are too

something about a hyper couple amirite😍😍

skating with him would be fun bc he would probably take you on dates to the skate park things all the time

he seems like the type to be a skater boy but be really bad at skating lmao

it’s okay skater bf jaemin on the outside, regular jaemin on the inside😇

living the hannah montana life fr☝️

renjun

he would paint his skateboard

like he’d probably paint the bottom cool designs so it’d be custom to him

you could even help him paint it

and if he taught u how to skate, he’d help you paint yours !!!!

im sorry his is short :( i couldnt think of much more for him😞

jeno

the quiet type <3

he probably keeps to himself most if the time and just skates around non-crowded areas like local parks instead of skate parks

he seems like he wouldnt approach anyone, but if they approach him, he’d be more than happy to talk to them

you: hi i love ur skating

him: omg thank u so much ur the loml now ( ◠‿◠ )

LMAO thatd just be me nvm

anyways he would 100% gladly teach u how to skate bc it’d make him the happest boy alive

chenle

the loud skater

does something cool and shows it off

“omg did you guys see how cool that was??”

“ugh i am so good”

you: 🤨

WOULD try and impress you all the time

good thing u were impressed before he tried harder for you

dont tell him that though, his ego is already over the moon

will tell you that ur skating sucks even if it doesnt just so he can show off

jisung

also a quiet one, but would probably be more reserved than jeno

would skate around his neighborhood or around his house instead of parks

thats too public for he poor boy

u would probably be walking around and see him and just heart eyes

you’d be fascinated and approach him and he would think ur trying to kidnap him or something

if you asked him to teach you, he would ACTUALLY just stare at the ground and say he doesnt know how to skate

i can picture it so well PLS

anyways pls beg him to teach you bc he end up would loving it so much :(

©eternallyhyucks

TAGLIST!

@overthemoonbae , @yejicrossing , @baekswoons , @igsana , @renjunn1es , @junityy , @pr0dbeomgyu , @igyus

—send an ask if you would like to be a part of my taglist!!

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Omg I love all your drabbles they are so amazing and brilliant I can’t believe you do that for free! What a blessing you are!! I was wondering whether there would be a part four to the vacation au and if not could you do maybe more jealous Cassian but in your lawyer au I’m obsessed but honestly anything you write has me happy!

This is so sweet I am so glad you’re loving the drabbles! I did a second part to the vacation AU a couple days ago so I’m going to go with Jealous Cassian in the lawyer AU. I already *kind* of did this but I’ve been doing jealousy light lately and this time we are cranking it up to 100. This one is kinda long and pretty angsty and I think I definitely need to smoosh all these lawyer drabbles into a mini story that follows Nessian from meeting while studying for the bar exam and then through snippets of their careers so maybe that’s what I’ll do next.

Actually facing Nesta in court was an extreme rarity. All of her non pro Bono work was strictly solicitor. Drafting contracts and negotiating deals in different chic board rooms with little glass bottles of Perrier and complimentary latte carts trolling the halls.

Nesta thought that she didn’t want to litigate. She thought that people didn’t like her and because of that she was a bad advocate. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

Watching Nesta fight for something that she believed in, truly believed in, was the closest thing to a religious experience Cassian had ever known.

“And I would urge you to consider in your decision, your honour, the fact that even if it should apply in this case, the very law my learned friend is attempting to uphold is currently under review by the Supreme Court and may soon be overturned on the basis of being unconstitutional as well as unconscionable.” Nesta took a pregnant pause.

“If that happens. If this law is overturned, as you well know, it will not be retroactively helpful to my client. My client who was born here. My client who grew up in Queens. My client who can draw you a map of which bodegas has the best coffee vs the best sandwiches and their proximity to the nearest train, and if that doesn’t qualify her as an American, and a New Yorker, then I don’t know what does.” The judge smiled a little at that. It was a calculated risk, the emotional appeal. But Judge Miluski was already on Nesta’s side and she was a born and bread New Yorker and she had the rare distinction of being a member of the judiciary with a sense of humour. “If this law is overturned, which we both know is highly likely, then my client will be sent to another country, a country she has never even been to, not because she did anything wrong, but because this trial happened a few weeks too-”

Nesta trailed off, eyes caught at the quietly opening gallery door. A man stepped in. Tall and thin and… greasy. Hair slicked back with so much product Cassian didn’t think he’d feel it if he hit him on the head with a hammer. Which he desperately wanted to do. That brutish, violent, raised in foster homes in Harlem side of him that even a legal education and a closet full of Armani suits could never quite polish out of him lit on fire at the sight of this creep. This asshole who was wearing fucking asics with his $4000 suit. And no tie. Top three buttons of a pinstripe white shirt unbuttoned. What a fucking rube.

Except that this guy. THIS fucking guy, made Nesta lose her train of thought. This guy who walked into court late and had yet to drag his eyes up from Nesta’s ass, had distracted her. Caused her to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and smile a little. This shy, light, cutesy little smile that absolutely did not belong on Nesta Archeron’s face.

When Nesta smiled it was a sly, knowing, victorious thing that curled across her lips and set Cassian’s heart hammering in his chest.

This… this was insanity.

The man smirked, deep and arrogant, as he stood at the back of the courtroom, hands slid into his pockets. Not even respectful enough of the proceedings to sit down.

Nesta gathered herself quickly. The whole mess over in under 20 seconds, but Cassian noticed it. Even as Nesta went on and cited the law and the competing jurisprudence and the ethics and the constitution, he couldn’t focus. All he could think about was that little smile.

Cassian said his final piece, the judge ruled, as they both knew she would, in Nesta’s favor, and it was all over.

Nesta didn’t even gloat like she usually would have. She just stuck her hand out, the absolute picture of professionalism, and shook his.

“Good working with you, Counseler.” She said, as if he hadn’t pulled her around the side of a building and pushed her body up against a brick wall the other day, moulding her into him as they fought over this case. Discussed their future. Their passions.

She’d rejected his invitation to dinner, but she always did. It was a part of the game. A game that Cassian was determined to win.

“Who’s the tech bro?” The sneakers with the suit and the unbuttoned shirt and the general shitty attitude all pointed to that being the only reasonable profession.

“Babe,” the slimy man in question pushed past the swinging waist high half door that separated the gallery and the space where counsel’s desks sat. “Let’s go.” He wrapped and arm too tightly around Nesta’s waist and pulled on her a little.

Cassian curled his fists into his palms so hard his nails bit imprints into the skin of his palms. Babe? Telling her when to leave? The pulling? No.

“I’m Cassian.” He held out his hand. “ADA. What firm do you work for? Haven’t seen you around.”

“Tomas.” The man scoffed, “And I’m not a lawyer. Not interested in all that gibberish you’re type is always spewing. Sounds like pure nonsense to me. I’m a tech investor.”

Yeah. That sounded about right. No actual skills. Not an engineer or developer or even a business manager. Just an idiot with a trust fund throwing money at whatever looked cool.

“Well, Tomas. Do you know why they call that big exam full of all that gibberish you hate the bar exam?” The weasel just raised his eyebrows. “It’s because once you pass it, then you are an attorney. And allowed to cross past this BAR.” Cassian pushed Tomas back out the little half door again. “Which separates the civilians in the gallery from the lawyers making their cases. So maybe learn how to show a little respect.” Cassian scoffed, flicking his eyes to Nesta, “In a few different areas of your life.”

“What the fuck, bro?” Tomas rolled his eyes. “This is why I fucking hate going to your lawyer parties and shit. Jackasses like this.”

“Tomas, please.” Nesta placed a hand on his chest, Cassian tensed, and that seemed to calm Tomas down. Not Nesta’s touch, but another man’s jealousy.

“Why don’t you bring the car around. I have to work out a court date for another matter with Cassian but I’ll be right out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Tomas glared, keeping eye contact with Cassian as he kissed Nesta’s cheek, hand travelling too far down her back. “Hurry though.”

“Of course.” Nesta smiled that same tiny little smile that made her look like a doll on a shelf and Cassian wanted to scream.

“What the fuck are you doing with a piece of shit like that?” Cassian minced no words as he turned to face Nesta.

“Excuse me?”

“Pretty straight forward question, Nes.”

“You… you don’t know him. He’s not like that once you get to know him.”

“Sure he’s not,” Cassian scoffed.

“What is your problem?”

“My problem is that your boyfriend, who I’ve never heard of or seen before today despite knowing you for years, had a chance to see you in court. Had a chance to watch you all fired up and passionate and brilliant and instead he walked in late, stared at your ass instead of listening to what you were saying, and then shoved his way up here and pulled at you to leave like you were some kind of toy he didn’t mind tearing the arm off of.”

Nesta blinked. Huffed out a breath. ��We’ve been on again off again for a while. That’s why you haven’t seen him before. And he just doesn’t like lawyer stuff that’s why he’s like that in here ok? Not that it’s any of your business.”

“So you’re dating someone who not only doesn’t recognize how brilliant you are but won’t even let you talk about your job?” That was wrong. That was so wrong. That was… why Nesta was so intense with him. Why she debated and fought and talked for hours. Because she couldnt do it at home.

“Why do you even care, Cassian? Let’s just set a date and-”

“Fuck you, Nesta.” Her jaw fell open. “Fuck you for even asking me that. You know why I care. You can’t play dumb with me like I assume you do with him.”

“You don’t know anything about my relationship!” Nesta defended a little too vehemently.

“I know you can’t yell at him about his take on immigration laws,” Cassian stepped closer to her. “I know you can’t get a little tipsy off your favorite Malbec and go on a rambling tirade about the corrupt judiciary and your twenty three- or twenty five depending on the night- reasons why voting for judges completely undermines the integrity of the legal system.”

The was almost no space between them as Cassian looked down, gently set his hand under Nesta’s chin and raised her gaze to meet his. Burning with anger and passion and barely concealed desire. “I know that he didn’t understand why you were crying when RBG died. Because he doesn’t care about how appointing Supreme Court judges works or what that meant for the future of the court. And because I know that you weren’t with him that night. You were with me. Just like election night in 2016. And the Kavanaugh trials. And when the travel ban came into effect. You found me. Because I get it, and I care about your thoughts on all of those things. I’m devastated by them too. You were with me, Nes. And don’t you dare pretend that doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does,” Nesta let her cheek sink into his palm. “It means everything Cassian, but…”

“But we fight,” he smiled. “We bicker and yell and cross ideologies and disagree on all the little things. But not the big things, Nes. Never on the big things. We disagree on how to change the world, not what we want to change in it. Isn’t that what matters?”

Nesta swallowed. “I can’t risk losing you.” She said quietly. “I need you. For all of those reasons, I need you to be in my life and if we… I hurt the people I love, Cassian. So if I let myself love you, I would only hurt you. And I can’t bear the thought of hurting you.”

“So you date him.” Realization was an arrow sailing into Cassian’s chest. “Because you won’t hurt him. Because you could never actually love him.”

Nesta swallowed. “See? See how awful I am?”

Cassian moved his hand to her back, pulled her into his chest. “Go,” he whispered. “Go do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here. And I’ll be waiting for you to realize that I’m not going anywhere. That I can take it. Whatever you want to throw at me, I can take it, Nes.”

[just-a-fangirl13]

Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]

HOLY SHIT! 

This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)

SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE

Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!

Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]

Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)

He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again 

(ill get to my second reason in the end)

Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)

Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for. 

The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Rileys Feelings!

“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”

I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)

I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal. 

SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.

(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)

Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him. 

[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]

Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer) 

She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.

(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)

Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season! 

At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)

I was also a puddle on the floor. SO

“Mac look-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”

“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”

“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.

Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that) 

She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)

Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.

Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.

Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.

She then gives him a goodbye kiss. 

Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts. 

That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.

Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!

Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.

Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...

BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.

Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.

especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.

Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)

Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.

“Mac? Everything okay?”

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”

and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...

Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening. 

She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible. 

BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*

So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.

A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.

Again this is what I took away from it.

BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!

I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)

Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.

Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*

YUP IM HYPED. 

BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Bucky Barnes’ adoptive child

Bucky Barnes x child!reader

warnings: knife

a/n:

prompt: @multifandomlover121: “i adored your natasha romanoff’s child headcanons! could you do one with bucky barnes and him adopting a child? thank you!!”

bucky saw someone in need and wanted to help them

that someone was you

he would have wanted someone to do the same for him

“are you okay, kid?”

“i’m fine...”

“are you sure?”

“...no”

you kinda started crying and ran off

but that wasnt the last time he had seen you

the more he’d run into you, the more he’d check on you, offer you food/water/shelter

“i really don’t mind, it’s the least i could do”

“are you sure?”

“i am”

you began to trust bucky more as time went on, he really was helpinh you out of the kindness of his heart

and buck became more protective of you, of course

soon enough he saw you as his child and you saw him as your father, neither of you had had a bond like that before

“i’m going to the market, do you want anything?”

“uh, peaches?”

“got it, be back in a while, don’t answer the door for anyone”

“got it, pa”

that was the first time you called him “pa” and he shut the door behind him and stood there in SHOCK he was so ???!!!!

you asked him about his life, and at first he didn’t want to tell you much

“pleaseee? it all seems so interesting”

“well, i don’t remember it much. and everything i do remember isn’t very great”

“is that why you’re lying low?”

“yeah...that’s one of them”

“can you tell my how you got your metal arm?”

you tried not to pry but you were disappointed that he wouldn’t open up to you

he knew just about everything about the short past you had, all the highs and lows of your messy childhood before he met you

bucky lived in a one bedroom apartment, so he gave you the bedroom and slept on the couch

honestly you guys led your lives mainly inside the apartment just to stay safe

and filling the day was a bit difficult, but you managed

“can i watch tv?”

“after the news”

“you said that twenty minutes ago”

“well, it’s not over yet. just watch it with me”

“can i pleaaaase watch tv?”

that “pleaaaase” always makes him cave

you two also baked together! it calms his nerves

especially when he can smell cookies/brownies/cake/etc baking in the oven, it’s his favorite

“are you sure we’re making these right, y/n?”

“no, i am not.”

helping him clean his arm sometimes

he couldn’t get in the crevices

one day you were watching tv and it said that bucky was wanted for a bombing, which couldnt be true because that was in vienna and you were far from there

“so that’s what you didn’t want to tell me? you’re a...”

“a terrorist? an assassin? an 100 year old man? i...i wish i wasn’t, but i had no choice. i can’t remember everything that happened to me, but i don’t want to. this new life is good for me and you. and i promise i would never do anything to hurt you”

“i know, pa, i trust you more than anyone else on earth. but...what does this mean for us now? the whole world is looking for you”

“nothing, they wont find us here. i’m going to the market for plums, though. keep the door and windows locked”

“yes sir”

“love you, kid”

“love you, pa”

and the next thing you know the door has been opened and you do not know what to do so you hide because that’s the plan you and bucky came up with just in case and next thing you know there’s sounds of fighting, things breaking, yelling

it’s time to come out

“pa? pa, where are you?”

“y/n, get down!”

“bucky, who is that?” -cap

“my kid”

steve immediately: ????¿???

ur WHAT

anywhooo you ended up running with them and not able to keep up bc they were kinda enhanced 100 year old men and you were baby

so the falcon, the REAL DEAL MAN RIGHT THERE had to give you a helping hand

“you doing alright, kid?”

“to be honest, i’ve never flown before”

✨getting arrested with pa and the crew✨

you sat next to steve rogers

“so, you’re bucky’s...child?”

“he took me in a while ago, we were both in a dark place”

“has he told you about his past?”

“i ask but he cant remember most of it, and what he does remember, he’s too ashamed to say. he just recently told me he used to be an assassin...and he’s and eldery man”

“hey, whatever happens to buck—your dad, i just want to let you know that i’ll be here for you, okay? he was my best friend growing up, i owe it to him”

it’s a feat to be a minor caught by the CIA but look at you go

you had to explain how you and bucky became family, which they were not buying even though every word was true

releasing you to steve bc he had some pull

oh yeah bucky kinda sorta went feral and you insisted you’d be able to calm him down but it doesn’t exactly work that way

“pa! i’m right here, it’s me! please, stop it!”

“y/n, you need to get out of here, it’s not safe!”

“i can’t leave him like this!”

escaping the CIA and waiting for your dad to wake up, this is where he regained his full memory

once he was free of the debris, he gave you a big hug and apologized with tears in his eyes (why the fuck am i rhyming)

“i’m sorry if i scared you, dragă”

“i couldn’t ever be scared of you”

steve was so happy that bucky was happy dhshshshhshs

being pushed in the backseat with pa

sharing your granola bar

since bucky remembered some good thinsg about his past, he thought it may be time to share!

“yeah, so me and steve were best friends, right? steve always picked fights with every bully he met, despite being less than half the weight he is now. i always had to swoop in and save the day”

“i can’t believe you were born in 1917. my father is a world war two veteran”

“how impressive” -sam, also a war vet

honestly they didn’t expect THAT much resistance at the airport but everyone knew you were off limits

excellent spiderman who webbed your hand to a car

luckily, your dad had taught you a thing or two and you got to hacking through these webs with your pocket knife

it took forever

but you finally escaped with your dad and who you’d soon call ‘uncle steve’

black widow nearly stopped you, you were very afraid :)

bucky made u stay in the jet “for your own safety”

“we don’t know what to expect in there, y/n. the last thing i want for you is to get hurt. i should have never dragged you into this”

steve casually talking to bucky about you being unofficially adopted by him

“so, you’re a dad?”

“that i am”

“what’s it like?”

“it’s like...finding a reason to get up every day. and a decent amount of compromise”

“sounds exciting”

“you have no idea”

finally being retrieved from the jet to see your dad with one arm

trippin out

but he told you it was alright

t’challa, new king of wakanda who was trying to end bucky’s life just a few hours ago had apologized and offered you sanctuary in his country

he SPECIFICALLY apologized to you, saying that it was unfair to you by trying to hurt your father because the pain of losing one is unbearable in his eyes

getting some much needed peace (not really bc you wanted to train with wakandan warriors)

and it paid off since you all had to fight off a hoard of aliens

“you think you can handle this, y/n?”

“oh yeah”

you definitely could not handle your dad turning to dust :)

:))))))

“y/n? steve?”

no nope no

steve had to take care of you on bucky’s five year hiatus from life (oh my god im sorry)

not a day went by that you didn’t think of him

it kinda sucked bc you didn’t have any pictures together or anything, only pictures from the 1940’s that steve pulled out every once in a while

“doing okay, y/n?”

“not really”

“do you want to come and watch a movie with me or something? im still not completely caught up on everything i missed”

after five years, there was a breakthrough and it was finally time to get your dad back

but he probably wouldn’t recognize you...you’ll find out soon enough

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

[vivinightingale]

Hey baby sis how you doin?? I see you got so popular and honestly I’m so frighten proud of you💖💖💖 To celebrate how about the classic Yugioh Bois celebrating accomplishments of their s/o whatever it may be?? Thanks a bunches luv and keep the Nightingale fam strong ☺️💖

Oof things have been crazy, but im.haning in there! I hope everything is going well for everyone tho! 🥺🥺💞💞💕💕

Yugi Muto:

You were an up and coming artist. You spent years improving your art, and yugi was there for every but of it.

He was already proud of every peice you made no matter how long it took he loved them all.

But when you finally got noticed on tumbler for beautiful art he was ecstatic for you!

No matter what it is this boy will honestly always be proud of you and your accomplishments.

Yami/Atem:

Going through fours years of college wasnt easy, but lucky for you your boyfriend was there for you every step.

Every sleepless nights with constant studying he was by your side with coffee.

He was even there for you through every break down you had. To reassure you that you got this.

And when you finally graduated he was there to pick you up and spin while singing your praise. He was so proud of you for pulling for and cant wait to see what you do next!

Joey Wheeler:

Gaming tourments were never an easy thing especially the big leagues. So when you entered joey was there for you to make sure you got plenty of food and water.

He honestly enjoyed watching you train for your competition, and though he didnt say much so you could concentrate he was cheering you on in his head.

He also loved the determined look on your face when you finally got to the tournament.

Though it was a king gruling battle you finally won the tournament and joey was so proud of you! He started yelling your name and praise all across the place and honestly you wouldnt have it any other way.

Tristan Taylor:

Track was was a gruling thing, but you enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment it gave you. You also weren't alont in this endeavor.

Every morning and evening you go running Tristan was right by your side. He had water bottles and words of encouragement.

When you started training for a marathon he was there to cheer you on and go as far as his legs could carry him.

Through a lot of training and Perseverance you made it first in the marathon. Tristan was soll proud of you that as soon as he saw you he picked you up and spun you around, and unlike you he was ready for the next marathon.

Duke Devlin:

Being a beautician wasnt as easy as it looked, but you trudged on. Lucky for you however Duke was there for you every step of the way.

He even allowed you to practice on him. He especially loved it when you played with his hair. It was so relaxing.

Without you knowing after every look you practiced Duke took pictures of it so when you finally became a full time beautician he could show you your progress.

And that's exactly what he did on the very night you graduated. Through every picture he showed he pointed out what he liked about every look, and how proud he was of you.

Seto Kaiba:

You wanted Seto to be proud of you so bad, so in secret you honed your duel monster skills using his technology to help.

He always wondered where you ran off to when he was at work, but was too busy to look in to it.

Mokuba however, wasnt and found out quickly what you were doing. He never told Seto, but he did try to coach you the best he could.

Seto never found out till your name was all over the news. An up and coming duelist quickly making their through the ranks. He never said it to you, but he was extremely proud of you.

Yami Bakura:

Sining covers was one of your favorite things, and how you met Bakura. Something about your voice had him enchanted sonhe called you his siren.

Your covers weren't really big, but that didnt bother you because you just enjoyed doing it anyway. (Though most time you would hear bakura mumble that no one has tastes)

You started off with a few loyal followers, but eventaully your channel grew bigger and bigger every month.

Until finally you were in of the top cover artists. Bakura was hella proud of you for clawing your way to the top. He would never say it, but actions speak louder then words.

Yami Marik:

Yami Marik was someone who wasnt easily impressed. It took a lot.to get him to sing your praise.

Like maybe defeating the pharaoh on your own?? Yeah that would about do it. So when he heard that you challenged the pharaoh he was intrested.

He watched the fight a grin plastered on his face the whole time. Watching the two of struggle was exciting.

When you won he couldnt help at laugh in both victory and mockingly at the pharaoh. Finally he could send him to the shadow realm and reclaim the throne for himself all because of you.

Bakura Ryou:

Pottery making was a favorite hobby of yours. Just being able to sit there and relax was amazing to you.

And bakura loved watching your process. Every piece always amazes him when he see it.

He helped you post every piece for everyone to see, and first it up to 10 views at most, but neither of you minded.

But once you started getting views in 100s both you were so happy. Bakura help you and said how proud he was of you, and how he cant wait to see you grow.

Marik Ishtar:

Archeology was gruling work, but you didnt mind it. Digging up history was always fun especially with Marik by your side.

Because your constantly had in the move it was a perfect fit for Marik's adventurous ways.

However one day you found the biggest find in your life time! Something that showed more of the Pharaoh's family tree.

When your find got it's own exhibit with your name Marik was so thrilled! He took you out on a fancy dinner to celebrate the whole time telling you how proud he was of you.

Care to buy me a Ko-fi??

[ohbae-me]

okay so, im about to go ham because i truly stand strong in my shoujo fantasy.

In my opinion, im pretty sure (like 89%) lucifer tells us that whenever mammon breaks off a relationship with someone, they go broke completely after. so hes had previous relationships before, as for the rest of the boys, im pretty sure lucifer has, but nothing serious, he wont let anyone in, MC is literally the only person who has pushed past his walls and seen him for more than pride. satan, 100% he has never had a relationship, levi, has had a couple of fwbs and other relationships but they always fizzle out, never lasting. asmo has never had a serious relationship, always just flings. belphie never had a serious relationship and same with beel. i truly believe MC is their first true loves, i know what youre thinking "theyve been alive for so long, theres no way someone couldnt have been special to them" but the thing is, theyre so different with MC; their entire dynamic and relationships changed with MC, MC saw them for more than their sin and got to know them to their very core, while yes the other relationships never lasted, thats not to say the boys didnt love them; but just not in the way they love MC. i believe MC to be a true love, not just a love, the difference for me is all of the boys would gladly give up chasing MC once she finds herself happy with another brother, instead of forcing them to choose yk? the "as long as youre happy, it kills me everytime i look at you smile at him, but i love you too much to let you be miserable with me" and i dont think any of them have experienced. also, with the whole "new relationship" thing, the honey moon phase, while yes every couple has it, i feel like with MC it would just, last. not to say they wouldnt have fights; ofc they would, but its different with MC, everyday the brothers would wake up and chose the option to love and fall in love all over again, speaking further on that, i dont think any of them would truly get over MC. and i mean that; (i dont think MC is going to die, obey me devs have something planned LOL, plus theyre super powerful, like the other anon said i dont think theyd be able to really function without them, even if they do "get over" mcs death at some point.) after MC dies i feel like the family dynamic wouldnt be the same, the brothers would get quieter and would never truly forget about it? and every relationship would fail because theyre not MC (you dont have to agree but i love reverse harems), like i 100% hc that after MC chooses another brother or after they die, mammon would try and try to find new flings, even after its been decades mammon finds someone whos super similar to MC, their look, personality, etc, but one wrong move and theyre out. (say MC doesnt like pickles, but the replacement for MC does, he would immediately start crying and call mc a stupid human who he shouldnt have fallen for.) anyways in conclusion, i truly dont think MC would ever die canonically in the obey me game, the devs are sneaky (love you devs), but even if they would, i really feel like they would never get truly over it. some part of me truly believes that the brothers would go back to being distant, how they were before. they would sit at the table and eat in silence, asmo would begin partying ten times harder (since we already know he uses his ego to cover up his major insecurity of people not liking him and how he feels about himself) and the brothers would become even more indugled in their sin. also, for every relationship they would have, they would just compare them to MC, and yeah but I cannot see MC dying. the other stuff about what the brothers would be like after MC dies could also be applied to when MC chooses her s/o. i think the brothers would be super fucking hurt, that was their first love, their first understanding who walked out and chose someone who wasnt them. anyways thats all, you dont have to reply i just felt like i needed to get this off of my chest, also im gonna be pretty frequent on your blog ( i love ur writing ) so im gonna call myself cake anon! have a great day! - cake anon

Hello Cake! iluuu! Thanks for this, i really love getting every ones take on these things! And there is defs a lot that i agree with here. 

I agree with the Mammon part. Out of all of the brothers, i feel he is probably the easiest to get emotionally attached in a relationship, so i see him as the one with the most previous relationships. Asmo coming in second, but his being mostly flings or poly/open relationships. I’m sure Mammon has had some serious ones as well as many flings, where Asmo’s have never been overly serious and certainly never long lasting. I’m also sure Luci has had a few, some more serious than others, but he wouldn’t get overly attached emotionally. I’m sure he’d be too busy with Diavolo since arriving, being the workaholic he is. I’m sure not many partners would be willing to deal with that level of non-commitment and emotional unavailability from him.Levi I feel like all his relationships never left that awkward early stage, and his only ‘serious’ relationships would have been strictly online, maybe a couple meetups that made him nope right out of it. Satan, again, has probably just gone on some casual dates but didn’t have much interest in actually dating rather than gaining connections. i feel like Beel is the most likely candidate to have had healthy previous relationships. He is pretty well balanced emotionally and has a good outlook on love and family values. I’m sure he’s had a few serious relationships and has dated his share of people. Belphie gives me vibes of had one or two previous serious relationships that did not end well at all and now he’s a salty sob over it lmao. 

I still don’t feel like MC is necessarily their first true love, but maybe the first different kind of love for them. MC has reached them in ways no one else has, they don’t try to change anything, they fit in well with the whole family, they understand their sins etc. I have loved a few different people in my life, and each one was such a different experience for me. The first guy i loved, i consider to be my first true love. However, it didn’t work. And then i met the man I eventually married, he wasn’t my first true love, but it was a better kind of love, yk? 

And uugghh you ripped my heart out with how the brothers would feel if MC chose a different brother!!!! Because they all would be so heartbroken it’s not them, but they really truly just want mc to be happy and cared for, and they know their brother would keep them safe and provide well. 

A few asks ago, i mentioned that the brothers would move on eventually. I think there is a big difference in moving on and getting over that I maybe didn’t articulate very well. If MC were to die or choose someone else, they would move on eventually, but they might not ever really get over it. My heart hurts just thinking about how they would feel trying to move on. Like you mentioned, the empty, quiet dinner tables, lackluster parties and festivals, it would be like they lost their best friend. (i giggled picturing your mammon scenario with the pickle because that’s exactly how he’d react to something so small lmaooo)

I also agree that i don’t think the devs will kill mc off (again), that just seems like a really crappy way to end the game!! I’m curious to see how they would make different routes go if you can only romance one of them end game, vs you being able to have them all? I wonder if we’d get a choice in the whole becoming immortal thing or not? 

Sorry if this reply was too long and rambly, i absolutely love discussing these kinds of things!! I always welcome these asks!!! 

[rip-a-dip-dip-you-potato-chip]

I just imagine macaque finding the photo album and at first he thinks it a new fight style. Then he opens it. There's baby photos and photos of little mk and Shan.

Wukong is just standing behind him as he's looking through it

bored, bored,

BORED

Macaque was bored out of his damned mind! Shanyao had come down with a cold, and for once, he didn't feel like causing some patient chaos.

that was when a thought crossed his mind. Monkey King has been seeming rather intent on getting closer to the boy.

which first off, fuck off you already got one apprentice let him have his.

second, odd much?

why the hell would he be so interested in the kid all of a sudden?

fuck it

filed trip time!

destination? Flower Fruit Mountain!

-

"well that was underwhelming" the six-eared demon muttered as he stepped foot in the Monkey King's home.

turns out, he was off the mountain at the moment. probably checking on the kids most likely.

"eh, might as well snoop around"

and snoop he did. the last time he was here there was a flurry of emotions, both good and bad. in truth, he kind of missed that, he missed them...

looking at the bookshelf he took note of some of the titles. he recognized some, both old, and new looking.

"pfhh Harry potter? always knew peaches was a nerd" eyes gliding across the shelf he saw some he didn't recognize.

"The Shadow Throne?" picking the book up he did a quick once over of his surroundings before pocketing it. what? he was a mystic monkey, over hundreds of years old you can't always be causing problems for others sometimes you need time for yourself. besides, it's one book Wukongs wants going to care.

he was about to go off and trade the kitchen when another book caught his eye. 'album' it read. the spine was a sombre red with gold accents.

"album, hmm" picking it up off the shelf and opened it.

to his surprise, as he flipped through the pages it was filled with pictures of two babies.

rasing an eyebrow he flipped the page again and questioned when the hell did the Sun Wukong had kids? and where the fuck were they and why did they look somewhat familiar?

it didn't take long to get his answer though, as he stumbled on a page labelled '100 days!'

the following is what was written

100 days ago, I was blessed with you two little bundles of joy.

ill be the first to admit, I may be the unbeatable Monkey King, able to do anything and everything, was not prepared for parenthood. when I found out about you two I was scared, probably more scared than I have ever been in my entire life. I didn't know if I'd make a good parent but the second I held you both I didn't care. no not at all I loved both of you and always will.

my little ones, you gave me hell- I COULDNT EAT ANYTHING PEACH RELATED! but it was worth it.

Shanayo, Qi Xiaotian I can not express just how elated I am they you both made it this far especially you Shanayo you were so frail and sickly I was terrified you wouldn't make it to this milestone but, turns out you as stubborn as I!

I'm glad about that, I know the two of you are destined for greatness, and I can't wait to see where that greatness lies.

-Sun Wukong

oh

OHHHHHH

shit, what the hell? Mk and Shan where-

"what the fuck are your doing here?"

wiping his head around, there stood the Monkey King, and he did not look happy to see him whatsoever. Wukong glared at the intruder and took notice of the album in the other's hands and for a split second his face twitched into one of slight panic. so Macaque took this as an opportunity.

"so, Shanayo and Mk are yours hu?"

the King remained silent.

"come on peaches~ tell me who's the lucky bastard?"

"..."

"hu well then I guess you wouldn't mind if I showed this to the boys then hmm?"

"NO- no don't"

"Than tell me"

" you wouldn't believe me"

"try me sunshine"

Wukong muttered under his breath, 'you' his hearing picked up but a that can be right-

"Sorry, what was that can't hear you!"

"bullshit! you heard me!"

"Mk's shift ends at six right?"

"god's damn it- YOU! you're their father"

well, that wasn't something he expected to find out today.

-

;)

timelines A B C D? what about a timeline E?

sksksksk

ahhhh I had to lol

the shadow throne is a book on my shelf I read about 2-3 years ago its pretty good!

In Chinese culture, 100 Days is an important milestone for the baby because 100 days birth celebration represents the wish that the baby will live 100 years and reaches longevity.

anyway, I wanted to write some low-fat angst. and this was a good excuse.

in any other scenario, I think Wukong would just be sad at the sight of the album. he had to give up his baby to keep them safe at a young age, and they barely even remember him. Macaque would teas him, but once he sees just how heartbroken the other is he'd stop and concert him.

[therapybabbie]

writing this down so i can know what to expect for my next breakup and that every bad feeling is temporary............

this wasnt a normal breakup so its a little less straightforward, but im counting the end of november as when we “broke up.” we hadnt been together officially since april and we hadnt slept together at all since the beginning of november, and we didnt stop hanging out completely til mid-december, but the end of november is when i feel that i truly 100% accepted that not only did i not want to be with this person right now, but i NEVER WOULD bc of things he had done that i finally realized were unforgiveable.

end of november - end of january (first 2 months): absolute hell on earth, withdrawal symptoms, couldnt stop myself from talking to him sometimes. waking up crying all the time, either crying for myself and how he treated me or crying for him and his fucked up life and being worried about him. also still doing drugs. couldnt go on any dates without talking about him. tried to have some sort of “relationship” with another guy for about 2 weeks but i just felt like i was recreating my relationship with my ex and i couldnt do anything sexual w him bc it felt wrong and i didnt want to.

after 2 months: started to get real fuckin pissed off. texted michael a long list of things he did to me and was really mean, etc. then regretted it. then started to make peace with the fact that we shouldnt talk to each other at all for a very long time. but at this point i was still holding out hope that we’d talk again eventually (during no part of this process did i want to get back together though, i got rid of those feelings prior to november)

beginning of march - mid-april (3 months-4 months after) just pure blinding anger and rage, but with no more urge to reach out to him about it bc i know he wont help. still nightmares about him every once in a while but very rare. he was still the first thing i thought of every morning, but it wasnt sadness or missing him anymore. now its just annoyance that i have to think about this, or anger that he did this to me. still hope we’ll talk again eventually and he’ll apologize to me, but i’m no longer expecting any messages from him to pop up on my phone. i never look at my phone hoping to see his name, which is a huge relief.

late april - now (mid-may) (4-5 months after) he’s not the first thing i think of in the morning. i have at least one or two other thoughts first, which is nice. i hardly even look at his social media anymore bc thinking about him mostly makes me feel sick. i cant even imagine texting or talking to him at this point, even if i were blind drunk. the only social media of his i ever look at really is spotify and its just so i can feel a little happy if hes listening to a lot of sad music bc i want his current relationship to be going poorly (sorry...), not even bc i am jealous in the way that i want him back (i do not), but more that i am jealous he gets to be with someone right now and i don’t bc he was the one who treated me so badly in our relationship and it feels unfair. if i were to look at a picture of him, i’d probably still feel sad but i no longer have the urge to do this. i kind of hope we’ll talk again but mostly bc i still feel he wronged me and owes me an apology, not bc i want us to “be on good terms. a big part of me also knows that by the time i’d be in a position to talk to him again, i probably won’t care very much whether we do or not. i no longer care about his opinion of me bc my opinion of him at this point is pretty low. i wouldn’t say i forgive him at all, i’m still mad when i think of how he treated me, but i mostly just feel kind of sorry for or even contemptuous towards him. im a lot more comfortable being alone and no longer feel the need to go on dates unless i really really want to. i have things to focus on that are boring but still make me happy, like changing my diet, learning to cook, exercising again, etc. i don’t even want to meet someone quite yet, even if they were perfect for me, bc i want to get comfortable working on these things about myself first. its like the void that michael left is almost all the way filled, and once it is and i feel like myself again, i think i’ll be ready to find someone new.

[inctlife]

When did the nct dream members knew they wanted to marry their s/o and how did they propose?

i’m not going to write the proposal as i believe everyone has a different opinion on engagements/how they want their engagement to be

renjun

so basically changming was about four months old and you were in the kitchen, making renjun’s lunch for the day while changming was in this baby carrier thing thats attatched to your front

and renjun had just been having a shower but came down to say good morning (you were still asleep when he went into the bathroom) and he just say you dancing round the kitchen with his son giggling at you while you made his lunch and omg🥺🥺 renjun’s heart bURST he could not have been more in love

and just in his head, all he could think was ‘this is the woman i’m going to marry’

jeno

so jeno was in the gym lifting some weights and he lifted some kinda weird and something in back was in AGONY like he had to leave cause he was like sHIT i am in AGONY and he arrived home to you and was like ‘hello!!’

and you were like ‘my love !! welcome home !! ur early!!!’

but jeno was kinda limping and you were like ‘nOOO whAT HAPPENED’

and immediately helped him up to your bedroom and laid him down on his front and called the doctor and the doctor was like ‘probably just rest for a while’ and so you laid in bed next to him and just chatted for a while and you massaged it a bit when he needed it and brought him whatever he wanted and he just had this sudden realisation of

‘no one is every gonna love me this much’ ‘,, apart from my mum’

and he went to buy a ring with jaemin the next day :)

donghyuck

so you were pregnant with donghyuck’s baby

and at this point you were like,, pretty pregnant,, like 8-9 months about 34 weeks ?? like baby was ready to come out and you weren’t about to do much moving

and the two of you were staying at donghyuck’s mum’s house so she could be there whatever happened bc like,, she’s done this before,, she knows wtf is going on

so you’ve just woken up and you reach over to get your phone (with difficulty cause like... 9 months pregnant) and when you turn back over you see donghyuck still asleep !!

and you kinda smile because omg he’s so pretty :( you love him :(( and you started softly combing his hair and he’s like kinda awake but he 100% doesnt want to tell you

“thank you, duckie,” you whispered, “you’ve given me lots in life and i know you’re gonna be the best dad ever :((“

and donghyuck’s almost crying but he isnt about to break this act

“i’ve never told you but every time you speak she kicks so much ,, our little princess really loves you.”

and then donghyuck opens his eyes and you’re like oOOPS but he’s literally crying and he just puts his hand on your waist and kisses you and is like “i love you sm baby :(((“ and it’s just a love fest and donghyuck is more certain than anything ever before that he is going to marry you

jaemin

so it was the day after you had given birth to uju and you were still in the hospital

and the nurses had just taken uju off for a bath because they adored uju and jaemin’s mum was taking care of areum and hanuel so it was the first time in a WHILE that you and jaemin had time alone together

and you just looked at jaemin and started giggling and he was like ‘:D what’

and you had uncontrollable giggles but managed to spit out ‘we have three kids’

and jaemin smiled bc,, ur right it’s a bit fucking wild

and your laughter finally calmed down and you smiled and just said ‘and i couldnt ask for a better person to be my children’s dad’

and jaemin almost cried bc did you not know how much you and your kids meant to him anyway?? and he just grabbed your hand and was so stunned at himself by the lack of ring that he swore to himself he was gonna get himself in gear and just fucking marry you

i mean by this time he knew he was going to marry you anyway

chenle

so all the chinese members of nct were hanging out and along comes kun with his wife and tiny little baby xiaolian (she’s actually like 11 months) and immediately you and chenle are oBSESSED

after a while when xiaolian gets used to her settings,, kun lets her sit on your lap while you and chenle entertain her and lets just say she LOVES you

and at one point, she starts to cry but she also is very happy in your arms?? so kun’s wife is like ‘do you mind feeding her? i think thats what she wants’

and you’re like ‘no problem!!’ bc ?? it’s xiaolian? she’s adorable?

and so you kind of have her on your lap but so she’s facing you, her back resting on the table and you spoon mashed up banana and biscuits into her mouth in the most entertaining way possible

and she’s giggling and eating happily and even kun and his wife are like ‘damn she’s good with kids’ but chenle isn’t even listening bc omg he’s so in love with you??

and this whole time he just cant stop picturing your future together !! :(( he loves you!! and he tells you lots once you’ve handed xiaolian back to her parents

jisung

so you and jisung had just been to mark’s wedding and it was so emotional !!! it was so cute !!!

and the whole time mark’s wife was staring at mark with so much love in her eyes and mark was doing the same,, and you were sat across from jisung at the dinner table so it just ended up that as you watched everyone’s speeches, he couldn’t take his eyes off you

and you were laughing at johnny’s speech and wiping tears away when mark was speaking and there was just a twinkle in your eyes that almost made jisung cry

and when he and chenle went up to the drinks table today, standing there for a moment and watching their girlfriends dance with each other and jisung’s like ‘i’m gonna ask her to marry me’ and chenle’s smiling cause he’s thinking exactly the same thing about his girlfriend !!! bffs amirite

[okiedokie-then]

heh

in my bathroom there were 60 waffles with a magazine light

numbers aint the one to lead the land

(insert guitar solo)

a check on my clock

the day life with the colors (insert screams)

vocalists can get the 100%

family, congratulations to amber.

nobody told me this...

no, nono, no, red carpet all the water

ride with me, ride with me

bee no bee he does

(insert skate park noises) ow, my knee

(insert bowling ball noises) ow, my knee, again

(insert suspicous noises) ow, my knees

(insert death noises) ow, my knee

set above your soul

its a long way down, personification of cheese

its a long way down.

somebody shoot her, she has my tongue

i want a cat, i want a cat, i want a cat, skatepark man

might all look wild

but they want you here, get out, leave

social media, you dont do that alot though

people who choose to do that

uncomfortable

cout << "do you even work out bro" << endl;

i like the pine tree, in the corner,

always watching,

being very prickly

sometimes youll see a baby in the pine tree

i like the pine tree

slip right out of the door

wheels cut up the rub,

(insert guitar solo)

skate park man goes side to side

the biology doesnt make sense

dirt on the woo's

he doesnt understand the concept

why, you arent evil

university, and military

the large paper tree

oh no, now theres two of them

its undergoing mitosis

(insert screams) you know that, right?

you never did like them

but you were the self, all the way of self

it has my name on it for the two years

the speakers blasting

you were rejected and sent back home

how does it feel?

falling from heaven? must hurt right?

the chair on the table

put them down

she doesnt like them up there

(insert laugh track) the thermostat is at 69, ha

notice, he doesnt it like it ok it

sometimes, he yells

you dont like it when he yells

no excuses for being late, your dead

through thick and thin, ill be as tasty as possible

your priorities dont line up

how could you do that?

he only wanted to eat your snacks, could you reall not give up your crackers?

not again, the stickmen are fighting

7/16 of my father is apple juice, pretty neat, right?

the fire exit hates you.

really? it builds things? cool

46 chickens crossed the road with cacti all over, that was a weird hour to be alive

do you like being treated that way?

the blue cables run all over, its pretty neat really

they hated the basketball picture, i now hate them

oh the white cables are neat to

ha, agriculture, what a joke

why does he want your snacks, you ask

he might just be hungry, you also say

i just want to go back

its to hot in my room

you tried to fly, but your wings made of anti-matter instantly reacted with the surrounding air, and then you fell.

was it a long fall?

couldnt have been, you were eating burritos to be completely honest.

he's rude

the cheezits said no to him, so they were cast into a pit, they're a bit crunchy now, nice really.

the core isnt really good though, hate that thing.

the scans made it by you

"how can they not see?" you said

he got really confused after that

.9531

it kept screaching (insert screeching of a machine), and kept screeching (insert screeching of a machine), and kept screeching (insert screeching of a machine), then it died.

doesnt even connect

section B-B got shut down due to budget cuts

B-B was the rubber ducky section

sad, really, the world may never see happiness again.

"boob beep, am not evil. beep boop." said #27

jesus that ac is loud, how can people stand it?

80-85c is the recommended temperature

ignorance, motivation, the power of friendship, all ingredients to the most well made octopus, preferably with sour cream and Valentino hot sauce.

god do i love mexican food

and no, i am not #27

you seriously dont understand the sheer amount of burritos i have eaten in this past week, i no longer have any money, i did not share with my family, even if i did, they would not eaten them, they are sick of them, i have forced them to eat thousands, preferably with butter on the side, thats all i'd like for today m'am

surface temperature, man, now thats a woozie if iv e ever thought of one

violence is not an answer

violence is a question

and the answer to that question is yes.

Copyright © MMV Jaguar Educational

god the flowers smell fucking amazing this fine universal collapse

did i mention i like mexican food?

my foot keeps hitting the metal

heard something burning last night, kept smelling the noise it was making aswell, turned out it was my cat eating

who knew

"think different" -a fruit

man i can not draw football players can i?

- skin

- teeth

- hair

- eyes

want human bones? contribute to society and work for them like everyone else, get out of the house, your 33 already josh.

hip hop, or hip hop editor?

ZRX9SR

covered by a thin layer of skin

for some reason i really want potato chips rn

he dropped IT

dont sign in or he'll hurt you

G U M M Y B E A R S

immediately now

c r u n c h

2004

:fire_emoji: Warm-Ups :fire_emoji:

I LET HIM BORROW MY SNACKS AND NOW THEIR RUINED WTFFFF

god my new mouse is gonna feel so good

how do i wash my hands

i did not make that noise

c h e e s e

microbes help preserve lassen college FFA field day

cucumbers will never become pickles

IMPEACH im in the peach

a duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man, runnin the stand, "hey, bum bum bum, gimme the cash"

"okay"he says,

i would kill for a burrito rn ngl

salt bone man?

"meeting the chargers future could prove fatal to all squirrels" says the man in the suit

break your limits, push your boundries, work harder than you ever have before! i know you can do it! you can eat that wheel of cheese in only 30 seconds! i know you can!

bread, artichoke, and beans. thats all you'll ever be.

im currently reading a book about cats

i like cats

[harryfeatgaga]

as if i thought we couldnt get any better harry content after the music video this week and now we get WEDDING HARRY!!!! which is basically what we spend half our asks talking about anyway?! and now we have HD pictures?! 2021 isnt all shit, im not even depressed and the uk went into full lockdown tonight - thats the power of harrys robe

GOD I KNOW HQS OF HARRY IN A ROBE AND A BEAUTIFUL SUIT WHEWWWWW RIGHT AFTER A NEW MV.....WOW

Anonymous said: Sorry, but I haven’t been online in a while & tbh been way less active in the fandom. But sometimes I still check in (I especially like to check your blog to see how you’re doing) & so logging on today & suddenly JEFF & GLENNE ARE MARRIED NOW?!??!! AND HARRY & OLIVIA WILDE MIGHT BE DATING?!??!!! Tbh I am ok with this. I don’t stan her or anything, but she’s beautiful & I like her movies & she seems like a decent human being at least. I’m happy for him if true. Good for both of them 😌

WELCOME BACK BBYYYYYY and thats sweet u check here pls ur so cute

Anonymous said: Obviously we don’t know if they’re actually dating (but I sooo hope they are!), but I haven’t been on tumblr while H is in a relationship and I am loving it today lol I’ve been a stan since day 1, but recently joined Tumblr so I’ve always gone through his relationships alone. I love having a little place to talk about how happy we are for his happiness☺️

WELCOMEEEEE

Anonymous said: People that have anything but positive things to say about Harry and Olivia have gotta go lol let them be happy as friends, partners, cast mates, whatever they are! We should be happy that Harry is happy. End of

exactlyyyyy like im just tired kednfhbufi im chillin 

Anonymous said: there is always that one person that says "i can't look at harry the same after this" like are or are not a fan of him? do you really love him the way you say you do? cause if you did, it shouldn't matter what he does or who he sees in his personal life! none of that should affect your views on him or his talent. if you can't look at him the same after him holding hands with someone, maybe you should take a break from stanning him 🤷‍♀️

yeah like idk even when I did not like people he was (confirmed 100%) dating like it never made me think differently of him? im here for him and his music and whatever else he choses to do with his career lmao 

[pbandjesse]

Oops. I just spent like. Literal hours making a powerpoint and am not starting my post until almost 10pm.But I got it in my head I should make this sort of document about art. And its not even nearly done at almost 100 slides. It feels nice to be able to focus on something. I am glad that feels like it is changing a little. 

I had a pretty chill day though. I didnt sleep great. I just couldnt turn my brain off last night. But I felt okay this morning. I got dress, and got ready to go. James helped me carry the big of scrap fabric to the car. I was a little nervous because we needed air in our tires. But it was fine and I had a good drive in. 

I finally got over my stupid fear of parking at the office and was glad I did. I went to talk to the nurse and let her know I had coughed a few times last night but then I didnt cough at all at work all day, just upset myself with worry that my chest hurt. We both think its from the air conditioner so I am glad it is getting a little cooler out. 

I am in charge of theme projects this week. So I had Heather print out the example pictures I came up with and had everyone today do the project that they didnt need any supplies for, which was using nature to create pictures. And then spent a lot of the morning getting boxes ready for each group for the other projects. I hope it works out for them all. 

I only have one class a day though now. I have other tasks but it does make my life a little quieter. My group was awesome though and I am so super pleased. 

This week I planned for weaving but then at the lat minute I was like. Sewing. Let's get the kids on this sewing machine since I fixed it and understand how to get it going. I got all the scrap fabrics that seemed like good sizes and put them on the one table, while I set up bracelet making on the others. 

When Rachel's group came it was excellent because they got to see what each part of the sewing machine was and I talked them through that. Then they went and cut fabric to fit on a square. Well Rachel and me cut the fabrics but then they would come inside and I would sit with them individually and they would sew them together. I pushed the foot pedal and they fed the machine. And they all did so good!! Which is a pun!!! I had some issues with the machine but then the kid who I was with just got to see how I fix it and that was a good conversation. And when they were all done I laid their pieces out to be a little quilt and I was just so pleased. 

I cleaned up and had lunch. Sat at the office for a little. And then I went to go run trading post. Kristan helped me because I didnt know how we normally do it. But it went well and smoothly. I liked being able to say hi to all the kids. 

But then I had to close up and had one of the guys help me because I couldnt reach the latch, had some laughs with the girls, and then headed back to the art building. 

I laid in the hammock and enjoyed the little rain that was coming down. It was light mostly, but it would pick up and I would put away the hammocks. I left my one out and put up the blanket tarp. But I was really cold and so I was wrapped in my fleece blanket thing. Listened to a podcast. It was nice. Calm. 

I went up to the office to offer some help though. Since I had so much time. I was tasked with some paperwork for trading post. Sorting money and making a better log. It took a while actually but I was done before 3 and went to go hang out and just enjoy my time. 

I laid around for a while but by 4 I was in the art shed cutting string for tomorrow and making sure I was all set up. And then it was basically time to go. 

I went back to the office. Hung out on the porch. Helped with pick up. And then Heather told me I could head out.

I left and was very pleased to be on my way home. I was chilly. I wish I hadnt worn shorts today but I couldnt have known how chilly it was going to get. Watch Im going to wear long pants tomorrow and be miserably hot. 

I got home and was happy to see James. He was making pizza. And green beans. A fancy Taney dinner. I also asked for watermelon and stuffing. Because I was cold and stuffing makes me warm. 

We hung out in the living room. And once dinner was done he headed out to put air in our tires and get gas. While I got it in my head I needed to start this powerpoint. 

And that is what I did. I am mostly in outline phase. But I have some images and some words. I am excited to have put this together and I hope to show you all sometime soon. 

Now though I am tired and I am going to wash my face and I hope you all have a great night tonight. Take care of yourselves and have a good day tomorrow!!

[paintmearainbow]

What Is Love ?

Love.

Love means different things to different people. Some people say love is making your partner happy and seeing them happy makes you happy . But love, is actually a figment of our imaginations. In a way, love is selfish and makes us lose our independence. You make the other person happy to keep yourself happy, and you become dependent and vulnerable. It's a somewhat like a shared dream. And until one person decides to wakeup, and that dream, albeit fun while it lasted, becomes a living nightmare

1 YEAR AGO

For Harry and y/n; sneaking out of premiers and award shows,buying tacos and eating them at 3 AM was love. For them, love was dancing in the kitchen to Elvis and baking with each other. Love was watching horror movies in makeshift tents, snacking on caramel popcorns and cans of soda; all while making fun of Harry's "those dumb bitches" in the movie. Love was falling asleep in each others arms and reading each other books. It was dressing up as Disney characters and acting out scenes from their favourite animations. It was etheral, perfect. Almost too perfect too be true

People always said "Love will fizzle out. One of you will get bored." Harry and y/n didn't listen. They burned so fast, so bright and didn't realise that their spark too, like all blazed and sparks from lighted matches, had extinguished. One second it was burning so brightly, and the next, it was gone

..............................................................................................

"When was the last time you spoke to him ?" asked y/n's sister.

" A week ago" a distraught y/n replied. "He barely has time to even talk to me on the phone, let alone show me the sights and explore the places with him via facetime"

For a brief moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and all the memories flashed through her eyes, like a movie roll, playing over and over agai

FLASHBACK

"Y/N !" exclaimed Harry, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing with joy. Oh how she longed to see him, feel him and be with him in real life , rather than on a screen. Yet she was eternally grateful for Harry for never making her feel left out from the tour experience, he always made sure to show her around, even if it was only on a screen, while giving tour guide commentary in a horribly fake American accent.

"You're in for a treat ! We're going to see the Louvre today. Come on an enjoy the sited with Harry's Tour Experiences"

Y/n couldn't stop laughing.

Being an art fanatic, she giving Harry detailed descriptions of the art, while all he did was turn it inti a joke. His put on accent stood out when he kept saying " Oh shucks ! Here's another painting of a few women and men fighting and eating." He termed an entire style of art; renaissance art as "men and women barely dressed fighting and eating". He made a few sly comments on how y/n would look lovely in that dress. It was so wonderful and each of these virtual trips was marked with his signature end. Going to a park, and eating the same food.

His laughter was contagious and y/n loved it. She wondered how she got so lucky, so blessed to have hazza in her life.

She never thought that this love, would eventually fizzle.

end of flashback

Now she was lucky if he spoke to her for 5 minutes. Even those 5 minutes were filled with her talking and him showing least interest in what she had to say. She doubted whether he even listened.

Today, however was a low blow. It was y/n' bday. had it been any other year. Harry would've made this day perfect. They had been together since they were 18. The first year, he bought her 18 gifts on her birthday. The subsequent year, he got her 19 and so on. He would make her breakfast in bed and wake her up with showers of kisses and a "Good Morning, Happy Birthday Darling."

Today however, at 7 PM , she was yet to have him acknowledge that it was her birthday. She was yet to have any sign of news from him at all. She illusioned herself, thinking that maybe he had interviews to attend.

Her sister, however, tired with y/n's moping, said" You're coming over with your friends to Club 22 this night or else I wont speak to you. I don't want you to spend your birthday moping around"

With great difficulty, y/n was persuaded by her friends to go clubbing. The loud music, the drinks and the dim lights were never y/n's scene. Yet, for the sake of her friends, she fixed up a smile on her face and tried to enjoy, trying her best to forget than Harry's call still hadn't come.

.......

It was 10 PM and the party was in full swing. y/n's friends were drunk, so drunk. Everyone around her was laughing, drinking and joking. Meanwhile, a new disturbing thought had settled in y/n's head. What if he got into and accident ? What if he's really sick ? She was ridden with anxiety and couldn't get Harry off her mind, until that one fateful message from Nezza, her best friend, Harry's PA, through whom they had met, sent her that message. When y/n's phone lit up and she scarmbled to see the text, hoping it was Harry, she did not know it would change her life permanently.

The text was simple. "I'm so so sorry honey; you deserve to know" It was attached with a single file of pictures.

She subconciously knew what had happened. She had seen all the signs, yet chose to ignore them, not wanting to get up from her dream. The reduced duration of phone calls ultimately leading up to a call a month, the regular excuses, coming home late, half hearted kisses, they all added up. For a split second, y/n wanted to think that it was something else; maybe harry was too drunk or had passed out in a bar.

The message to forever to download. It was so slow and painfully excruciating. It was like the calm before the storm. The slow before the fast. The light drizzle before the thunderstorm. When the picture finally loaded; her heart shattered ever so fast. The pain she felt was numbing, yet somewhere in her mind, she was gald that Harry was safe.

There was Harry, his arm around the small waist of the redhead, his fingers entwined in hers. The same fingers which ran through y/n's hair multiple times, were now woven in another's hand. She thought her heart couldnt break more.

Fate was not kind to y/n.

She swiped to see the next picture, and she wasn't sure how, or whether it was even possible, but her heart further broke. Harry was kissing her in the booth, their booth, in Alessandro's the place he had her first date with y/n.

Fate had evil plans for y/n.

Tears streaming down her face, the makeup for the night ruined, y/n looked around for her sister and friends but they were nowhere to be seen. The only thing glowing right now was her glitzy dress, the one she had been forced into. Unable to take it anymore, she ordered an uber and left.

Fate wasn't kind to y/n at all

The minute she left the club, she was blinded with lights, the flashes from the camera, and the shouts from the reporters

" How do you feel about Harry cheating on you on tour ?"

"Did you expect this ? How do you react to Harry kissing a supermodel, younger than you!"

Y/n wanted to scream, but keeping her emotions in she pushed through the sea of people, got into her uber, gave her address and broke down.

She cried and cried. The uber driver tried to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't stop crying. she wanted the pain to go away. she wanted to cry. But most of all, she wanted Harry to tell her that it wasn't true and hold her in his arms and tell her it's alright.

But it wasn't. it wasn't alright. Far from it.

The next morning after an extremly broken sleep, y/n awoke. All the event's from last night wre remembered and her eyes started to water again. She switched on her phone to see the hashtag #y/ndeservesbetter and #harryandy/nareover trending. She also so 100 missed calls, voicemails and texts from Harry but chose to ignore them.

Y/n was raised to be strong. She spent most of childhood see her mom struggle to make meets end. She had seen the worst. She was strong. She went over to the mirror and saw her reflection and realised that she looked a mess. She took 3 deep breaths, washed her face, and masked her emotions, just as she did way back in high school, before she met Harry, before he changed her.

She went down and suddenly the apartment door opened. There stood the man who she loved, the man who had broken her heart, the one who still held her heart, no matter how broken it was.

He pleaded with her to forgive him. He begged, cried, said it was a one time mistake, and he regretted it, that he loved her; but y/n turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Their love had fizzled out, and she was blinded by affection not to realise it earlier. And as the saying goes " Once a cheater, always a cheater." Y/n wasn't taking any more risks. She put on a strong facade, made up her mind and left, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.

She wasn't over him, far from it. She was so broken, yet showed no signs. She had calm expresssion, yet her thoughts were chaotic. But she knew what was best and she knew this was the right thing to do. She had to take the lessons from this experience and move on, just like her mother had taught her. Dreams end, no matter how amazing it is, no matter how much you want to hold on and live it, and this, her perfect dream, had also come to an end.

So, what is love ?

A dream ? A nightmare ? Soemthing too good to be true?

Maybe all it is, is an illusion. A fairytale. Or maybe it is the truth, because truth teaches us lessons and so does love. i guess it's one of those things which just has no answers.

author's note

AND THATS A WRAP. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. it's something which definitely shouldnt be forgive . this the first ever imagine I've posted on my new tumblr. Please send feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Reblog. What are your thoughts? i would love to hear them. Send requests for more imagines.

i should be studying but eh.

keep dreaming

ashu.

(here's a random B99 gif for no reason)