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#i dont like drama cuz it gives me anxiety
aysepuramu · 11 months
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Honestly congratulations to y'all that have been in DBH fandom for YEARS. The headcanons drama get very annoying over time like, I've always been in fandoms but I never saw people literally bashing on each other's hcs like that instead of just completely avoid discussing about something they don't like. I mean it's ok to discuss PACIFICALLY, but it's literally a hc war at this point. I think it's so cool how some fandoms can simply ignore each other's hcs and enjoy whatever without accusing people of shit because of a certain hc (example: in DBH I've seen some accusing people who see Connor and Hank's relationship as family to be homophic and ageist and others accusing people who see their relationship as romantic of being pedophiles pro-incest.) Does anybody that have been in the fandom for more than half a year has a tip of how to keep at least half your sanity in this fandom by maybe, not scrumbling across hc war? I don't have the patience to block half the fandom like some people do lol. I simply don't want to let this ruin the experience for me by making me insane. No, I'm not willing to leave the fandom because I'm obsessed with this game, I've just been in tons of fandoms in my life and none were like this. 🫠
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honeytonedhottie · 4 months
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maintaining/creating a social life⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
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ok so i used to have HORRIBLE social anxiety and i think that the contrast between me with social anxiety and me now is INSANE. in a good way ofc. so im not going to talk about how i overcame social anxiety, instead im going to talk about how i created a social life ✨
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MAKING FRIENDS ;
the science of making friends is simple and im about to explain it. so go to where there are ppl that u can relate to/want to relate to. example being school, clubs, etc.
next, observe who u want to befriend and make sure to start with a compliment. starting off by introducing urself just makes for an awkward conversation but starting with a compliment puts u and the other party at ease.
something thats rly important is ur CHARISMA and ur magnetic energy so be CHARMING ✨ if u find that the other party is not reciprocating its either they're uncomfy, uninterested, or just a weirdo. and in all cases, you should stop.
MAKING FRIENDS THRU FRIENDS ;
make friends with your friends friends -> make friends with their friends -> and so on and so forth. this is how you network and create a friendly status with lots of people.
if ur in a school setting like i am, make friends with people in ur own grade or in a higher up grade, i dont usually make friends with ppl in lower grades but ofc there are always exceptions.
making friends through friends is how u get invited to parties, have more opportunities be available to you, and ofc network for more connections. guys connections are literally EVERYTHING.
MAKE TIME FOR UR FRIENDS ;
make sure to learn who u call friends. when is their birthday? do they have specific preferences? what kind of music do they listen to? knowing ur friends makes them feel special and thats how u learn to be a good friend. i can make a whole POST about being a good friend cuz i've learned and grown so much with that.
THE POWER OF A COMPLIMENT ;
make it ur mission to give a compliment everyday cuz first off, being nice is HOT so pls be nice and second of all, if ur trying to talk to someone and u start with a compliment i promise that it'll go so much better.
if ur thinking "thats so awkward how will i do that" then the category dont be shy is one that u gotta read cuz girl 💀. if u need an example i'll provide one from my own experience so u can see the power of a compliment.
there was this girl in my spanish class and i always thought that she was so pretty and she seemed so nice. one day we bump into each other in the bathroom and i compliment her hair and makeup, she responds well. we continue to have friendly interactions throughout the rest of the school year and now we are good friends on and off campus.
DONT BE SHY ;
when u make friends please please PLEASE work on ur confidence first. you need to be SURE of yourself. if not, when ur being friendly it could come off as desperation and ppl will humiliate, make fun of and take advantage of u. and thats NOT hot.
be CONFIDENT, you literally have nothing to lose. when u shed ur shyness (thru things like exposure therapy etc) a whole new world is opened up for u bcuz sometimes the only thing holding u back is urself and ur limiting beliefs about urself.
MAKE UR PERSONALITY SHINE ;
make sure that know ur own personality and from knowing that u can find ways in which u can make it shine. no matter what ur personality is though, something that i cannot stress enough is BE NICE.
be friendly and amicable with everyone and stay out of drama and if drama comes to you then stay unbothered 😭. dont try and uproot ur own personality to copy someone else's.
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elfelt-valentine · 1 year
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WASsaaasaas AAAHHHH!!! Cygate (or cywhirlgate I don’t care) and Swagnus!! LET ME HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS NOW [obligatory table flip]
(this could apply to cywhirlgate too but ill be talking mostly abt cygate)
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cygate is actually one of the first big ships i learned about and was sooo excited to get to in the comics, i read fics abt them before actually seeing them in canon and well. i was kind of a tid bit disappointed with how it wrapped up LMAO
i love the idea of two lonely people from the same old times growing a bond based on it, cuz really, who else can understand them? i like that they both learn from each other, and grow to become better people, and i love the drama that comes with cyclonus feeling like he doesn't deserve tailgate, like tailgate was slipping through his fingers the more he stretched his doubts.
i cant not mention whirl but the relationship he has with cyclonus is probably Actually one of the most satisfying developments that happened in the comic. Whirl's general development has been amazing to me, cuz he didnt exactly Stop being himself, but he let himself appreciate people in his life and care for them, and recognize when he needs to stop or step up, that anger isnt all he has now, and there are people who care for him just as much,
like.... im not even that Into these ships anymore, but i grief the potential cygate specifically had. they had good moments. but then it just got... weird. i dont understand their ll arc at all to be honest i pretend it doesnt exist.
anyway its a solid 6/10 for cygate and 7/10 for cywhirlgate for me.
Swagnus is such a stupid ship name i adore it
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they're a little guilty pleasure of mine that i dont see anything of ever and i forgot until now. brought a lot of happy feelings to me cuz they're so cute and awesome to me, but a huge shame their relationship is near nonexistent after the first mtmte season lmao.
There's something about these two people who are on completely opposite sides of social anxiety and adaptation that hits right, maybe they're not exactly romantic to me but i wish we saw more friendship between the two.
i just think swerve is the kinda person whos gonna actually understand magnus'/minimus' struggles with people and give some meaningful perspective on things.
maybe magnus would be more patient with swerve too. idk. he seems like this kind of person to me esp cuz people seem to not like to listen to him as well. lol.
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angeldiaries777 · 1 year
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Blog potentially being deleted
I want to delete my tumblr I’m bored of it I feel like posting on here just gives me more incentive to complain and waste more of my life on the internet which I didn’t even think was fucking possible because I’ve literally been online for as long as I can remember and even when I do logout or delete the app I always just end up redownloading it to vent
I’ve been Locked out of twitter since like 2022 and making new socials just seems stupid atp cuz like I don’t rlly wanna interact with strangers anymore I never really did tbh even on the internet I’ve never had like online friends or anything but i somehow always ended up in fights and drama cuz of my lit opinions and mentally ill brain also I was just a stupid 14 year old kid being cancelled like every 3-5 business days because I was edgy. Like I was being bullied at school everyday (that’s not true everyone was actually pretty nice to me cuz im actually cool and not a loser) and I’d come home and spill that anger on the internet. Take a shot everytime I type internet DONT. Please don’t. Anyway My point before my adhd took over was I’m still really sick and def need to just not be on here.
I thought my existence on the internet was healthy now cuz I generally keep to myself and just reblog a quote every now and then but looking at all this healing content and stuff instead of actually healing is getting old.
I know I’ve made so many improvements the past few months even weeks alone yet I still feel so unbelievably depressed and I was lashing out at myself for never feeling happy and really just blaming myself for being mentally I’ll instead of accepting it.
Lots of people said things about me that either hurt me or were untrue and that only made me want to hide even more than I already did and my safe spaces got boring and dark and just everything is just this frustrating web of thoughts and I just want to be happy for once but even if I don’t neglect myself and do what I’m supposed to do I still don’t think I’ll escape depression. My only options at this point are medication and more therapy which both sound like nightmares
Don’t really have any others resources atm
Just even going to therapy made me feel worse the more I went and my anxiety took over so I just stopped going
As for medication there’s just so many logistics around it it’s been jarring to even consider it as an option for so long
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wheeboo · 7 months
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hope the next few months treat u better :(( sending u lots of love and i hope u get through itt
dont feel guilty ever omgg u always make sure to bless us with ur fics and trust me, taking care of urself matters moree and im glad u love it omg i really wanted to watch but i feel like id just end up crying, i have seen the spoilers on tiktok tho and omg its okay to not be okay was a whole emotional rollercoaster 😭 esp the last few episodess, AHDHA I WOULD LOVE TO READ A FIC AB ITT (after ure all better tho). u should totally watch doctor slump it's really sweet and both the main characters have sadly been through a lot :(( but it's really funny tooo
ive been alrighttt, just stressed with school work 😭 aside from whats been happening, how have u been ml? did anything fun today? hope today treats u well <33 ( i found this edit on pinterest and it reminded me of u ˖ ࣪ ♡ꜝ˚ ༘ (pinterest.com)
thank u sm love :(( sending u all my love n hugs as well 🫂💖
dslkjgfsd i appreciate it :(( ig its just lack of activity sometimes gives me unnecessary anxiety but i gotta work on that HAHA. gIRl if i cried then you would prob cry to cuz it takes a loT to get me to cry. ITS JUST THAT GOOD like i wanted to hug all the characters rlly badly so i would def rec to start it when u can ofc hehe!! i LOVED its okay to not be okay too !! i'll def check out doctor slump when i can n i'll tell u all abt it <33 do u have any other fav dramas that uve watched ?? :))
pls i lowkey had a brainrot for the fic yesterday and i want to do it with cheol 👀👀 (coUGH.. doctor seungcheol...)
nooo ig everyone rn is at Peak school n being a pain in the ass 😔 u can get thru it tho i'm rooting for u !! today was a good day as well <33 drove to school to attend some classes n did a lil clothing shopping n managed to buy this cute outfit for summer!! i feel a lil bit better too, it was rlly nice going outside n getting fresh air!! have u done anything fun lately ?? <3
AAA OMG THE BOO EDIT HES SO PRECIOUS N PRETTY 🥺🫶 i need to protect him with my life istg sdjfkdsfj
here is ur daily jeonghan edit ml <3
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tinseltina · 2 years
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i thought maybe i'd get over it but i really believe i'll never be able to get back into that series.
a month ago i found only fanart i never finished and it gave me anxiety looking at it. knowing i'd never finish and i don't WANT to want to finish it but i liked the character design so i decided to just keep them and adapt them for some other project.
but getting a recommended video of the series tonight i looking at the channel page to see what kinds of videos have come out since. and it's a lot of drama and a lot of seemingly fun stuff too. but it just makes me sick to my stomach remembering it.
even the good memories i have are soured by the negativity. now it's all bittersweet at best.
im not mad the series went the way it did. i'm just not strong enough to stomach it anymore. my comfort characters were traumatized or are now canonically in relationships i didn't want to happen. there's nothing there to bring me back. i don't want to risk being retraumatized myself. cuz what else do i call this reactio i feel nauseous, my heart starts racing, i dont feel safe. thats so wild to me! to react like that to a fictional series that i KNOW isnt real. but it felt too real for too long.
strangely chapter 7 of twst started to give me that feeling. not nearly as strong but the beginning of that discomfort. but there will probably be a happy ending so i just have to wait for that.
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shoezuki · 3 years
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Preamble that I feel bad for the guy tbh but how he's dealing w/ it is on him. End a the day he's a whole stranger and he's not like two, he can handle himself (presumably) and if he can't it ain't our business. Also necessary preamble that there are many Ranboo enjoyers who aren't cringe. A lot of them actually. To the point where I don't really like to bring stuff like this up in specific bc it Does magnify problems via exposure
However. Disclaimer that this is a complaint about the worst aspects of my time in a fandom and that this is not all of it aside
TWT RANBOO STANS *DESPISE* LISTENING TO "OUR" STREAMER LIKE NO ONE FUCKING ELSE. THEY FUCKIN' HATE IT. EVERY WORD THAT IS SAID ONSTREAM OR ON ANY OF HIS MEDIA ACCTS IS NOTHING TO THEM. Ranboo is literally not even a streamer to them the way they act. The man will beg, literally fucking BEG over and over to not mention him in people's chats, to not *yell at people in chat to not spam,* to please not use him as a profpic if they're getting into drama, and then concede ground to please not use him as a profpic if you're sending threats, please do not fucking send threats, please, he has said this so many times, and Yet my comrades' twt blocklists are full of Ranboo profpics that send death threats with 0 shame. 0 shame, what so fucking ever. Chat too! Chat the fuck too! Chat is way better than twt bc at least it's not violent but I swear to Christ they are literally deaf! Begging for answers to questions that are answered in his bios and over and over onstream already and in the FAQ that is RIGHT THERE if you scroll down a HALF FUCKING CENTIMETER! Spamming stupid shit, and then spamming "CHAT STOP" even as streamer exhaustedly says "chaaat putting 'chat stop' just makes more spam".
Literally not a single Ranboo stan has basic damn listening or reading comprehension. It shows in how people fail to comprehend basic fucking facts abt his RP character (everyone knew this was coming) and it shows in how no matter how much he fucking pleads people to stop sending fucking death threats with his face attached or says he's uncomfortable giving out certain information people will just trample on those boundaries as if they ain't fucking there. Being in the Ranboo stan twtbase is literally training to blatantly ignore boundaries and dehumanize streamers and it shows in every aspect of how they treat not just "our" streamer but every single person, character, and social media personality they goddamned come across as text to speech machines, dressup dolls, and punching bags
It honestly blows my fucking mind. Like. Ostensibly, you enjoy this streamer and his content, right? Which I would think means you watch his content? But apparently fucking not!
It is honestly fucking disgusting it is unbelievable. I don't like to dwell on it for aforementioned reasons and like, dwelling is also smth streamer has mentioned correctly as Not Good, but genuinely the situation in certain small vocal pockets of the Ranboo stanbase is horrific and I hope these people get so much help and also maybe better material than increasingly unreadable censorship for "die." Actual productive debate is really fun, guys, come have a redemption arc and argue about the effects New L'Manberg had on c!Ranboo with me, please, why can't we all be nice, god, why,
Anyway that's my piece. Thank you for hearing me out I believe this is the first time I've gotten the chance to try to flex the new lack of charalimit for asks and I must say I enjoy it
YEAAAAAA FUCK IT UUUPPPPP FUCK YESSSSSSSSSSS JESUS FUCK YAAAAA
tbhtbh I USED to watch ranboo but i jus like. Cant anymore from donations n the unfortunate fact that So Many People whove gotten At me on twitter have ranboo pfps and how a lot of them treat him is genuinely Gross to me. Even jus w like. Seeing shit bout him and tubbo being 'roommates' rn like i HATE that shit. Ppl objectify him n ignore his boundaries n jus do such horrible shit w his name all over their accts n its despicable. I feel so harshly for the dude like that shit Sucks. But also he does tend to 'give in' to twitter shit sometimes like when he was saying not to trend stuff bout his meetup because he didnt want to 'overshadow' current events (altho ppl on twitter couldnt even listen to him for THAT)
Its jus a Shame cuz like. The dude Is genuinely cool. N he cares a lot. I feel his 'fans' of this calibre take advantage of his leniency/desire to please people and his Anxieties around messing up in any minor way n they jus. Walk on him in that regard. Cant even respect their own streamer
I think a bit ago i said somethin on it like. How sometimes i think these twitter ppl dont even LIKE ranboo or actually Watch Him. They jus want to feel some sort of moral superiority of stanning an 'unproblematic' cc and have some sense of control over a cc considering how he was made to apologize on his alt for those largrly harmless 'i dress like a lesbian' jokes he made. Like truly this weirdass gross community they made under his name is such a fucking shame n it sucks. No doubt its turned other ppl away from his streams Like Me
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cursed-saphire-hart · 3 years
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Im sorry if you ever get tired of Eddsworld stuff considering you're getting back into homestuck. I'd participate in more of that but I don't know anything about it so ive come to bother you with 2 things on my mind
1: Is it weird to imagine that if Anya's social circle was a little bigger when she was a kid (including teen years), she could have gotten by a little better??? I mean ofc it was bad regardless of exactly what happened to her because abuse and neglect are just bad but like. I think about how if given the option, some tend to stay away from home as long as they can. Give the fact her parents just don't care, I don't think it be that big a problem if Anya left the house for a while, perhaps staying with a friend. If she had friends who knew what was happening to her, they could try to work to get her out of that situation or at least try and give her what her parents wouldn't (Proper sustenance, support, etc.). I think if she'd been around a bit more positive influence, she'd have a better understanding of how she deserves to be treated, rather than boiling things down to "we can coexist without them trying to kill me its fine"
I know she had Jenny, but other than her, Anya didn't have a lot of real people (and by that i mean people who arent faker than plastic, like her exes) in her life. And while no doubt Jenny did all she could, and one person's actions can mean a lot, Jenny is, as stated, just one person
Anywho on a much lighter note
I remembered Purple Perfume and recalled seeing aesthetic attraction described as "wow that exists" and I just
👏👏👏
Don't worry, I don't mind still talking about Eddsworld stuff, it's still alotta fun, I'm just a little burned on it after my insta and tumblr feed being a wall of drama for a bit (anxiety likes to kick ya in the crotch)
Gonna put a read more here, cuz this is another long one.
I do wanna confirm that Anya did have friends as a child, they just sadly weren't very close. I said in a very early post that Anya couldn't speak very good english when moving to the UK when she was 10 (I dont remember if that changed in said post, I'm just going off my most current notes) but as a younger girl when she was still in Russia she was actually very social. But when moving to a new place, and having her only barrier of safety gone, that drastically changed, and it wasn't helped by the fact she couldn't speak the same language very well.
While I know there are good teachers and people out there who would jump at the chance to help a child out of a bad situation, sadly during the time Anya was a child/ teen, less people knew how to handle this kinda thing, and found it easier to just not get involved.
I can at least confirm there were friends and nicer kids in her school that helped out best they could by sharing lunches with her, but kids can only do so much, and with her parents labeling Anya as "a slow learner" to her teachers to excuse why she could speak clearer English yet, and having "Eating problems" to doctors, a lot when unnoticed. She literally couldn't speak up for herself due to her parents neglect to put effort into helping her learn a second language she suddenly NEEDED.
To her, Anya was truely alone. If it wasn't for her instant reaction to physical pain, she might not have survived as long as she had, or at least she never would have broken up with her 3rd boyfriend (the first to abuse her physically)
On that note, to turn to a lighter topic.
Purple Purfume is one of my favorite minor AUs. When reading up on poly relations, I found it pretty interesting to read about situations like Matt, Amanda and Marks with that au, where a straight woman, a bi man, and a gay man could have a very healthy poly relationship.
Like every relationship, it doesn't have to be based solely on physical or emotional, so long as there is understanding and communication between all parties, it can work with many dynamics.
In this case, they all love each other, but for different reasons and attractions. Matt is attracted to both partners, and he loves the, dearly. Amanda and Mark have a good relationship, but can be described mainly as friends, they love each other and find each other attractive in an objective way, they're just not "in love". Amanda understands Mark is gay, which means he's not sexually attracted to her, and she's ok with that, being a asexual and poly romantic woman.
Mark can find woman aesthetically attractive, meaning if he sees a woman who is in fact cute or pretty, he can recognize her as such, but that doesn't mean he's sexually attracted to her. Him and Amanda get along, and he apricates her as a close friend who he shares a boyfriend with, as well as personal interests. She makes him feel loved and comfortable, but doesn't push the boundaries of his sexuality (which yes, even in todays world some people find surprisingly hard) Which is what makes it work between them, since its not about sexual attraction, it's just about having a shared bond.
Matt loves them both and is happy so see them get along. For him, it's just about being with the ones he loves, seeing them happy, and knowing he's provided a safe place for them. He's fully aware of Amanda's asexuality, and doesn't overstep as much as he can, if he does, he apologizes and steps back if or when needed. With Mark he's fully aware Mark is not inlove with Amanda, but they obviously get along without Matt always in the middle. He doesn't feel the need to make them get along better, or that the relationship would 'be better' if they were in love, because he feels loved by both, and even if it's not the same kind of love, he knows they have a bond.
Poly relations can be a bit messy, and yes, sometimes unhealthy for a big number of reasons just like monogamous relationships, or relationships that float on other dynamics. Story and character building wise, they can be very interesting to explore the different dynamics, the reasons each character has, heck even how the era would effect such relationships. Hopefully I can keep making interesting topics for all of you to read and enjoy :33
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rosiehufflepuff · 3 years
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Headcanon : Hufflepuff -fem - and Slytherin(or DRACO ) go to book fair in muggle world
Hufflepuff ran to Slytherin in excitement almost tripping over million of stuff -SLYTHERIN!!!!!!!!!-
Slytherin almost having a heart attack watching Hufflepuff running to him -DUMMY U ALMOST BROKE EACH PART OF UR BODY NOW!!-
Hufflepuff shoves a poster in the boy face. Explaining how she got  it from her half blood friend however as soon as he saw it , the expression changed to disgust in a sec - …….muggle …….stuff?- -NOOO IT ISNT ANY MUGGLE STUFF ! IT IS BOOK FAIR!!-
Hufflepuff kept whining to Slytherin about how it is amazing !! And how they need to go !! Cuz all the book they dreamt of , was there !!!
- Hufflepuff ….you wanna me to go , wait In line …. and rub elbows with muggles …?!! Aho .. UNFORTUNATE.....I DONT DO THAT !!- waving Hufflepuff away as he talked with full disbelieve 
Frowning at Slytherin who was admiring his thousands something Galleons rings in his fingers , she gets hit by idea !! grinning as Cheshire , she opens her mouth with the most wicked thing that can hit her fav Slytherin - oooookay as you wanna ….I’m going to ask Gryffindor to come I’m confident that he would love it soooooo much -
Knowing the impact of the word “ Gryffindor “ on the boy , she speaks it out as his blood boils and his eyes shot up large , NAH UH !!! NO WAY HE IS HANDING HER , ON  A BLOODY GOLD PLATTER TO THIS ANNOYING “STAR KID “ !!!! 
-NO I CHANGED MY MIND !!! - smiling cheerfully more than she should be , she learned that her fav Slytherin wouldn’t take the concept of Gryffindor replacing him , now with determination asking about everything , they settled about “ the mudblood event “, according to the dramatic boy words .
The next day they go to their meeting area ( where no Slytherin can see cuz “ the status “ ) , as Huff reaches ,she drop her jaw at the Slytherin , she can’t help but stare at his attire
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-are you done staring? - Slytherin couldn't help but  rub his face in attempts in  trying to cover his blush at her gaping -what the hell…… are you wearing ….? - the Slytherin blinks at Hufflepuff , what kind of concern is that ???  - uhhhh…..clothes ??-  
as cunning as Slytherin can be , he is not reading between the lines as the girly hoped so -ummm but it is just a book fair …that is kind of fancy... Don't you think?? -
Slytherin couldn't help but roll his eyes hard, that he swears to merlin !!! that he almost saw his brain at the word “ fancy “ , him going to the muggle world doesn’t mean he need to look unpresentable !!!
 He sigh as he explains to Hufflepuff how that is not fancy and that is ordinary
Hufflepuff blinks non stop looking at the definition of a “ ordinary look”  of the boy in front of her, then she shifts her eyes at herself and her very casual outfit
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-we look as odd as night and day …- Hufflepuff whispers to herself however the words didn't pass the strong ear of the boy in front of her  , leading to sharp scowl at the words ..........at how she thinks of them with this huge contrast , he despises that !! “-are we going or not - by this words , Hufflepuff and Slytherin go to the Muggle world .
As both are waiting in line , million of adoring eyes is staring very hard and non stop at the wealthy blonde boy in full black , all this happening next to our Hufflepuff , she couldn't help but think  -wow I feel like  I’m standing next a celebrity .....the whole realm is staring ...- as she took a fast glimpse to the icy Slytherin next to her - i feel like a standing mosquito next to a butterfly ............ or would it be Scorpio though ..............GAH!! still TT -
 Hufflepuff couldn’t help but think of that ! ....merlin … she swears she saw people are flushing red just by looking at the Slytherin!!
Slytherin was getting so fed up with these gazes by the minute passing, no matter how much he bloody glared , they didn't stop , in the very unlikeness , they seemed to like it !!!  what is wrong with these mudbloods!!!  
.........but he kind of liked the attention…… he wont admit it tho... but still it was his time with Hufflepuff !! FUCK OFF !!
As they enter finally….. to Slytherin knees ……they almost fell off…. …. the warm female grabs his hand saying she doesn't wanna lose him in the mid of the moving crowd, very oblivious to the effect that she has on his heart doing “all odd stuff “ according to him, he has to visit a healer about that issue ….
Hufflepuff can’t stop running around the store going all wild and jumpy about all the books she is seeing from continuing of books either her or Slytherin has or new one she heard about -SLY DID YOU SEE THAT !! -SLY U NEED TO CHECK THIS !!”
on the other hand sly was just keeping eye on her while checking slowly the shelves himself , giving her a hum from time to time , as he tries to find anything he likes  .
finding a book with weird cover , he starts to run his gazes through the first pages of his new found treasure , knowing that he got at least something from this mud blood world ,  his eyes look up for his Hufflepuff .
-Hufflepuff I’m getting this book - as he searches with his gaze range , his intense eyes couldn't find a trace of her , almost giving him a minor panic attack , he calls for her again .
panic and anger at himself taking over , He storms to the nearest worker and grab them by arm giving them a glare with venom dripping with each word -look here I had a girl with me and she is gone ! ........I swear if you didn’t find her I’m going to show you what a bloody nightmare really Is .......that you wish you were-“
 before continuing the venom , Hufflepuff warm voice cut Slytherin icy tone , and also probably saving the worker from getting a scare or hexed .
Slytherin turns to Hufflepuff as he calms down his panic ,however his emotions of being upset speak up in form of -where were ya ?!!” with a sigh , the girl in yellow  explains that she told  him that she is going to bathroom but it seems that he didn’t hear , 
her eyes moves to the worker that is being held as prisoner by the Slytherin , you request him to leave the poor worker arm as people started to group up to attend the drama  ,  giving the best Hufflepuff smile she can, apologizing to the worker saying that her friend wasn’t used to going out much , excusing herself as she dragged the Slytherin to corner in the dark till the heat of the mummers go off
-why are you apologizing!! You did nothing wrong !!- -SHHH-
after some time of both sitting in the corner and calming Slytherin anxiety , both went to collect the the chosen books and as they are walking out
-see I came and behaved too , now u will read me the book I chose !! - Slytherin teases Hufflepuff as she rolls her eyes - yeah except you almost gave a heart attack to poor Muggle ! You will read it yourself !!- as she walk before the Slytherin sulking behind
——————
HIIIIIII!! So this my first time ever doing something like that !! I could not decide on draco x hufflepuff or slytherin x hufflepuff!!so both I guess ?!
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Drawn Together: Chapter 14
Happy birthday to Veneziano and Romano!
Three months passed, the friendship between Feliciano and Ludwig now as strong as steel. Yet, something has been bothering Feliciano about it.
Artisloveandlife: Do you think its strange how we ve been friends this long but we havent even seen each others faces
By now, Feliciano was also used to Ludwig's fast responses, even if he did scold him occasionally for it.
Artisloveandlife: People will think you re desperate
Lutzie71: Do you think I am desperate, Feliciano?
Artisloveandlife: Well no but others might
Lutzie71: I am only talking to you. Others don't matter now
Artisloveandlife: I dont think you understand how romantic that sounds
Lutzie71: It is just your mind
Point was, Feliciano was used to Ludwig's way of texting. From his perfect grammar to extreme time punctuation, but Feliciano liked him that way.
Lutzie71: I don't think it is all that unusual Lutzie71: There are people who enter relationships online, but have never seen each other  Lutzie71: On the contrary, I would call it an internet phenomenon
Artisloveandlife: Hmm Artisloveandlife: I guess your right Artisloveandlife: But i really wanna see your face Artisloveandlife: I bet you look super cute
Lutzie71: You're* Lutzie71: I don't see why not Lutzie71: But I want to see your face as well Lutzie71: It is only fair
Artisloveandlife: Deal Artisloveandlife: Show yourself warrior
*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*
Artisloveandlife: Wow you look like a viking Artisloveandlife: Are you a viking in secret Ludwig
Lutzie71: No, but I do have relatives in Scandinavia Lutzie71: Most people tell me I am scary at first, this is new
Artisloveandlife: Well you are kinda scary but i live with lovi Artisloveandlife: Nothing beats that
Lutzie71: That is reassuring Lutzie71: Now, a deal is a deal
Artisloveandlife: Wait im looking for the perfect lighting
*Artisloveandlife has sent a picture, half an hour later*
Artisloveandlife: I know it took me a while dont complain Artisloveandlife: Feat gino cuz we re cute
Lutzie71: I can't deny that Lutzie71: Gino steals the spotlight, but you aren't that bad yourself
Artisloveandlife: Very funny Artisloveandlife: Theres something else bothering me Artisloveandlife: Can you shorten you arent to yourent
Lutzie71: Feliciano, why Lutzie71: Let us go back to talking about pictures Lutzie71: I love the background in your picture
Artisloveandlife: Thanks Artisloveandlife: Its the view from my window on the adriatic sea Artisloveandlife: That painting i made for alice and otto was supposed to be of the adriatic but i messed up
Lutzie71: I still think it turned out perfect
Artisloveandlife: Thanks even tho you say that every time Artisloveandlife: Whats that behind you tho
Lutzie71: It is my brothers room and that is his poster of some metal band whose name I can't decipher Lutzie71: The letters are too bloody
Artisloveandlife: Can i see them
Lutzie71: Sure
*Lutzie71 has sent a picture*
Artisloveandlife: Thats slipknot
Lutzie71: That was fast
Artisloveandlife: Its art so Artisloveandlife: I can read anything
Lutzie71: I am impressed Lutzie71: I haven't asked today how are you? How is the situation with your family?
Artisloveandlife: Pretty good meo has midterms now and is freaking out and lovi is doing good Artisloveandlife: He found a better job and he seems to like it Artisloveandlife: And gino and pookie are as amazing as always im pretty sure pookie found a gf
Lutzie71: That is cute Lutzie71: My dogs are splendid as well
Artisloveandlife: And gil
Lutzie71: Annoying me
Artisloveandlife: Like a good big brother
Lutzie71: You could say Lutzie71: I hope you don't mind but I showed him your picture Lutzie71: He says you are cute and that he would like to go out with you one day
Artisloveandlife: Gil is str8forward Artisloveandlife: I cant date you gil you re too far away and i need cuddles
Lutzie71: You have broken his heart Lutzie71: Good job Feliciano
Artisloveandlife: Ill take that as a compliment
Lutzie71: Fine by me Lutzie71: He is crying now Lutzie71: Drama queen
Artisloveandlife: Gil could act in an opera show
Lutzie71: He has 0 talent for singing though
Artisloveandlife: Savage Artisloveandlife: Hey Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Its getting kinda difficult to talk on tumblr Artisloveandlife: I stopped getting your messages normally Artisloveandlife: Are you fine with switching to whatsapp or something
This time, Ludwig didn't respond as quickly as he usually would. His message came 20 minutes late.
Lutzie71: This feels like a good time to reveal Betty's secret Lutzie71: She actually gave me your number despite you saying no Lutzie71: She said it is all about the yaois and left
Artisloveandlife: Im  Artisloveandlife: Im going to kill her but before that thank you for being a good human being Ludwig Artisloveandlife: Unlike someone Artisloveandlife: You can send me a text then but i might not respond immediately im probably yelling at her
A couple of minutes later, as Feliciano was angrily texting Elizabeta hate messages, a message came from an unknown number. All that was written in it was Skree skree. Even after the whole situation with Lovino and Grandpa Rome was halfway resolved, Ludwig and Feliciano kept their pigeon talk, leading Feliciano to know exactly who it was.
♡~Feli~♡: Hi Ludwig
Ludwig: Hello Feliciano
♡~Feli~♡: I was just texting Lizzie how much i hate her how are you doin
Ludwig: Pretty alright Ludwig: She is reading me your texts at the couch Ludwig: I didn't know you were so vulgar
♡~Feli~♡: Yeah well i was really angry and she deserved it ♡~Feli~♡: I got it from my brother
Ludwig: I have never met them, but Betty tells me that Romeo is cute and Lovino is a prick Ludwig: Her words, not mine
♡~Feli~♡: Shes not that far from the truth ♡~Feli~♡: Although we all know im the cutest one ♡~Feli~♡: Do you want to meet my brothers
Ludwig: Someday yes
♡~Feli~♡: Okay
Feliciano pressed the camera button on the edge of his screen, calling Ludwig for a video call. It was either bad connection or Ludwig's anxiety that led to several attempts of this action before they finally managed to contact each other.
Feliciano smiled at his screen, Ludwig was going to hear his voice for the first time ever and he was going to hear his. "Hello!" He said, a bit higher than he wanted it to come out.
Ludwig looked around, nervous at this new way of talking, before finally responding in his natural voice. "Hello, Feliziano."
It was no secret that Feliciano cringed at the way Ludwig pronounced his name, but he mostly blamed it on the bad sound quality. "Your voice is so deep, please tell me a Kraken is not going to come out of your mouth. Also, that's not how you pronounce my name."
Ludwig tried his best to hide a smile forming at the corner if his lips, but Feliciano saw right through his pixelated face. "There are no Krakens in my mouth. If there were any, it is being digested right now."
"Oh, thank God." Feliciano laughed.
"You didn't tell me how to pronounce your name." Ludwig commented.
"It's a hard c, not a z. You're not saying Venezia, you're saying, uh..." Feliciano took a moment to look for comparisons. "Alice!"
"Feliciano." Ludwig tried saying it again.
"Much better."
"So, the same rules apply for i as they do for e?"
"Yes. But only if they come after c or g. And if you put h in between, then they are pronounced normally. C is k and g is g, like parcheggio." Feliciano explained.
"I see. What does parcheggio mean?" Ludwig asked.
"Parking lot." Feliciano said. "But that's not why I called."
"I quite enjoyed this conversation." Ludwig smiled.
"Of course you did. By the way, you're very cute when you smile. Now, do you wanna meet my brothers?" Feliciano asked.
Ludwig ignored the comment on his smiling face, avoiding the blush that would have otherwise be very obvious. "Why not."
"Okay. I'll give you a tour of the house while I find them." Feliciano said, getting up from his bed and showing Ludwig his room. "This is my room. If you can't tell it apart from all other rooms, mine has the best view. Remember that."
"Alright." Ludwig answered.
Feliciano exited his room and made his way down the stairs to the living room. "Our house should be a hotel." He said and Ludwig laughed. It really did have a lot of stairs.
When he was finally on the living room stairs, Feliciano spotted Lovino and Antonio on the couch, cuddling. "Hi, Toni!" He greeted.
Antonio waved at him and Lovino just looked at him, annoyed that his fun was ruined. Feliciano directed his attention back to Ludwig. "You get to meet Toni today as well. Lucky you, Luddy!" He said and jumped on the couch, separating Lovino and Antonio.
"Okay so, Ludwig, this is Lovi." Feliciano said, showing the phone to Lovino so Ludwig could see him better. "Lovi, this is Ludwig. He's my friend."
Lovino took a moment to take in Ludwig's appearance. "Feli." He called. "Why does that potato have hair?"
Feliciano was just about to tell him off, but Ludwig interrupted them. "When you leave a potato too long underground, it develops hair." Ludwig held back his laugh.
Lovino scoffed. "Well, aren't you a smartass."
"It is nice to meet you too, Lovino." Ludwig said.
"Fun fact. It's mine and Lovi's birthday soon. We were born on the same day two years apart." Feliciano chimed in.
"Best. Birthday present. Ever." Lovino said, Ludwig noted the sarcasm in his voice.
"And Meo was born in June. He betrayed us." Feliciano continued and moved his phone away from Lovino, towards Antonio.
Antonio offered Ludwig a big bright smile. "Hello!"
Ludwig was just about to answer, but Feliciano decided that wasn't going to happen today. "This is Toni. He's Lovi's boyfriend and we might have interrupted one of their make out sessions now."
"Don't worry about it, Feli. Nice to meet you, Ludwig." Antonio said, patting Feliciano's hair.
"Nice to meet you as well." Ludwig smiled. "I must say, you look rather familiar. Have you been to Germany before?"
"No. But I have a friend there. I met him when he got really drunk here in Italy." Antonio shook his head.
"That sounds like something my brother would do." As if he was summoned, a voice which probably belonged to Ludwig's brother chimed in.
"What is this gossip about the awesome me?" Another figure appeared behind Ludwig, with platinum white hair and piercing red eyes. A large smirk was glued on his face when he saw Feliciano on the phone, but it immediately turned to something less seductive when he noticed the person next to Feliciano.
Gilbert grabbed the phone from Ludwig's hands and took a closer look. "Toni!?" He asked.
Antonio's eyes went wide. Following Gilbert's reaction, he snatched the phone away from Feliciano and smiled. "Gil!"
Feliciano and Lovino were both watching their reactions. What in the world just happened? Neither knew the answer.
Gilbert continued. "What the hell are you doing there?"
"Feli is my friend. I had no idea he was friends with your brother! It's so nice to see you again, Gil!" Antonio answered.
"The world is too small for the awesome me. Still, I can't believe I'm seeing you there of all people." Gilbert shook his head like a grandpa.
Feliciano let the two of them talk for a little while more before joining Antonio on the screen. Gilbert smirked again when he saw him. "I'm glad you two got to talk it all out, but can I have Ludwig back please?" Feliciano asked.
Gilbert made a wounded expression at Feliciano's words. "Toni, call me." He said, making a phone gesture by his ear before passing the phone to Ludwig.
Ludwig just stared at Feliciano confused. "I have no idea what just happened."
"Me neither, but I'm glad they get along." Feliciano said. "Ready to meet Meo?"
Ludwig nodded and spotted his brother talking on the phone to someone. Judging by the voice he heard in the background from Feliciano, he suspected he was back to talking to Antonio. Feliciano's brother was sure to kill him now.
Feliciano walked back up the stairs to a dark hallway, at the end of it was a smaller room which Feliciano opened. However, instead of being met with light from the outside, he was met with more darkness and some tears. "Meo?" He called.
"Hm?" Came a sniffling answer.
"Midterms?" Feliciano asked.
"Yup."
"Can you talk now? I want to introduce you to my friend."
"Okay. Gimme a second." There was a shuffling sound and soon Romeo was up and smiling and Feliciano turned on the lights.
He walked towards Romeo's bed and sat on it, showing him Ludwig. "Meo, this is my friend Ludwig. Ludwig, this is Romeo. He's the youngest."
"Why you gotta rub it in my face? Nice to meet you, Ludwig. Don't listen to this guy, whatever he tells you about me, it's all lies." Romeo smiled.
Ludwig returned the gesture. "So, your name isn't Romeo and you're not the youngest?"
"Is that really all you have to say about me?" Romeo commented, pinching Feliciano.
"Ow! That's a good enough introduction, what do you want from me?" Feliciano said, caressing his wound from being pinched.
"My apologies. He did tell me more, but it didn't seem relevant." Ludwig said. "You're majoring in Chemistry, right? Good luck with your midterms."
"Yeah. They are a disaster, but I love blowing things up more." Romeo laughed.
"You are just like my brother." Ludwig said.
"I think we should leave now, Ludwig. Let Meo suffer in his pain." Feliciano said, smirking. This was revenge for pinching him before.
"Alright. Goodbye, Romeo. Good luck once again." Ludwig said and Feliciano took off, sticking out his tongue for Romeo, earning himself a middle finger up from Romeo.
The rest of the day, Feliciano and Ludwig spent just talking to each other. Elizabeta and her husband Roderich joined them briefly as well as Gilbert, but they mostly talked between themselves. Ludwig talked quite a lot about his dogs and Feliciano couldn't help his smile when he did. Ludwig was absolutely glowing when he talked about his dogs.
"Do you want to talk like this tomorrow again?" Feliciano asked. The clock on his wall showing that it was already well past midnight.
"Sure, I don't mind. If it is just the two of us." Ludwig said.
"Just the two of us then." Feliciano smiled. "Good night, Ludwig."
"Good night, Feliciano." Ludwig said and Feliciano broke the call. He voted the call as excellent and shut down his phone, his battery giving up on life as he did.
Feliciano laid down in his bed, thinking about what an eventful day it was. He recited some of the conversations between himself and Ludwig before falling asleep with a smile on his face.
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helisol · 5 years
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ye s, well
it basically came to me like a prophet receiving a vision from an angry god. you know. like brian david gilberts video ideas but with more slow burn.
no really i wrote all this down in my phone’s note app because some nearly coherent things popped up in my head every time i was on the train or bus these last few days.
(after-actually-writing-this disclaimer/note: this is 2000 words of slightly edited rambling about Bagginshield in the Afterlife. i had to put it in a read more.)
so the gist of it
the botfa goes just as in the movie with minor details altered. like bilbo kissing thorin just before he dies which inadvertently causes a ripple in time and space that makes the valar curious of them both. you know. minor stuff.
so bilbo goes back to the shire, the war of the ring goes down, and the hobbit/elf gang sails to valinor at the end. classic stuff, not much alternating of universes here.
but here’s where things turn into the “my city now” meme because DUDE DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT VALINOR AND HOW THE AFTERLIFE WORKS
like, I’m sorry mister jolkien rolkien tolkien, but just putting people into a hall to await being judged like a hospital waiting room? snooze, that’s boring!
so first of all, and you can fight me on this, Yavanna Made The Hobbits And You Can’t Change My Mind.
it just makes sense for her to have been very saddened by the destruction of literally all her work on arda through melkor’s poison, so she made living, growing things that could protect themselves from harm. as opposed to the ents, by the way, which were made by Eru to protect all the other living, growing things. it was a nice gesture of Eru to make those, but not quite what Yavanna wanted or had in mind, i imagine.
as with the dwarves, Eru wasn’t all happy about the existence of another race he didn’t make but you know, whatever, ‘I’ll just let this married couple have their own kids aside from mine, it’s okay’.
so he hands both the dwarves and the hobbits independent thought and free will, but under the condition (and here is where the afterlife stuff comes into play) that Aule and Yavanna be responsible for their mortal creations after their death. meaning that both races have seperate afterlives from the halls of mandos, MEANING THAT ITS COMPLETELY FINE FOR AULE AND YAVANNA TO BE LIKE “oh look honey, these two are so very in love and remind me of us, shan’t we do something about that?”
so. they do something about that. more precisely, they rearrange their afterlife-realms so they’re next to each other and someone with enough willpower could cross through the barrier. because listen, they’re valar, they can do whatever they want just for kicks.
okay so after that tangent lets get back to the meat of the matter: gay dwarves. I know not everyone has read Sansukh, a 500k word mammoth of a fic, and I don’t really intend to copy any of det’s canon, but their version of The Halls of Mahal really inspired me. basically the dwarven afterlife is one big hunk of a mountain/underground city where they’re free to live their days until dagor dagorath doing what they do best in the company of their families and friends; like smithing, crafting, building and other JustDwarrowThings.
meanwhile the hobbit afterlife is Basically The Shire and instead of being given the materials to build things, all the hobbits who go there get to grow plants and do their gardening. they don’t have to- just like none of the dwarves have to craft stuff- since there’s always enough food for everyone, but they are just allowed to do what they do best if they so desire.
now when Bilbo arrived in the undying lands he was still Old As Hell and im sorry to put it this way, he definitely kicked the can after like, a week of living there. not really so undying, them lands, huh. anyway Bilbo bites the dust and LOOK AT THAT he’s suddenly young again, and another LOOK AT THAT he’s standing in a very comfy, but Not Quite Bag End hobbit hole that has a note hung up on the front door. you wouldn’t think gods could have handwriting but hey, again, they’re gods they can do whatever. the note just tells him that yavannah made this place special and just for Bilbo but that there’s another home waiting for him. very cryptic there, lady. he doesn’t leave at first because hey, his family is here. there’s a lot of reunions and celebrating and food because its the fucking hobbit afterlife, what else would you expect
it takes him a few days of Regular Hobbit Life in his new home to realise ‘holy shit, this is so boring’ so what does a Fool of a Took do when things get boring and there’s a note urging him to do something?
HE’S GOING ON AN ADVENTURE
so Bilbo runs through the whole not-shire, meeting all sorts of people he outlived on the way (looking at you, Lobelia), as well as some elves. because elves can definitely just waltz through all the afterlives. they can walk on top of snow, you think they wouldn’t walk around wherever they please in valinor? rip to mankind, but they’re different.
he gets to the furthest reaches of it eventually, and lo and behold, what awaits him but the view of a tall mountain, an invisible barrier and a very flustered Thorin who is at his wits end as to how Bilbo even got here.
now for thorin’s part of the story we’ll have to start after the botfa again. he basically woke up in the darkness like an episode of naked and afraid, and started talking to Aule. his maker, who loves him to bits by the way since he made thorin, just tells him he’s free to go wherever his heart takes him. again with the cryptic messages from the gods.
so thorin, still very self-loathing and bitter because of his actions right before his death, sees this as Mahal’s way of saying ‘please don’t step foot in my halls u disgusting litle creacher’, when really he just meant ‘please do some well deserved self reflecting and then come inside to be with your family, they all miss you terribly’.
after his chat with the maker thorin just spawns in right at the front gate of the mountain and he has a choice to make. go inside or stay outside. and we all know Thorin’s proclivity for drama so he basically spends LITERAL YEARS just living in self imposed solitary confinement.
oh also tiny hc here, thorin was said to have taken “any work offered to him in the towns of men”, and they showed him in a smithy, but personally I believe they meant it when they said “any kind of work”. so basically thorin is a jack of all trades, master of some. he definitely has master-level skills in certain areas though, enough to build a vaguely hobbit-hole shaped house. why is it hobbit hole shaped?
oh right, the part where Thorin is absolutely enamoured with Bilbo.
"Go back to your books and your armchair, plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”- HELLO? GAY POLICE? I’D LIKE TO REPORT A CASE OF ‘DWARF KING REALISING THAT THE HOBBIT WAY OF LIVING IS A REALLY GREAT ONE IN CONCEPT / WISHING HE COULD HAVE HAD THAT KIND OF LIFE WITH BILBO’
anyway it’s a long 80 years until Thorin does get to meet Bilbo again, and in the meantime we have one of my favorite additions to any Hobbit fanfic ever: Frerin
For the uninitiated, Frerin is Thorin’s brother. They also have a sister, Dís, but Tolkien never specified when she died and she was a bit younger than Thorin and Frerin so I reckon she’d still be alive as an old dwarf lady somewhere?
Anyway, Frerin. Oh boy. Sansukh, again, does an excellent job at turning Frerin into a character with a level of authenticity that gets real fucking close to Genuine Tolkien™, so most of my own characterisation of Frerin is based on that in Sansukh. With the important omission of the dwarves not being able to see the present/their still alive loved ones in middle earth through a magic mirror pool.
so Frerin takes it upon himself to leave the mountain in search of his brother because he really does want him back. but also because Mahal has had it with Thorin’s antics and suggests Frerin fetch him so he can finally reunite with his family. Mahal doesn’t talk to the dwarves a lot because he’s like an awkward and distant dad, but he does actually speak to them.
so Thorin is supposed to go see his family, which he does, but not immediately. it takes like, a solid year of just brotherly (and sister-sonly) companionship for him to open up about all his anxieties and regrets and THEN he goes into the mountain to cry in his mother’s lap. as you do.
however Thorin still feels like he doesn’t 100% belong with the other dwarves in there, so he frequently spends long stretches of time outside, building away at his house, thinking about Bilbo. the company goes out to visit him sometimes.
more details on the house tho, cuz it’s Important; it’s built halfway into a hill near the mountain, like a proper hobbit hole would be, but the lower levels are built into stone. look, he’s had 80 years to work on constructing this. it’s near perfect in every way for both hobbit and dwarf standards and could definitely fit the entire company and more inside.
now about the barrier. elves can pass through without a second thought because they’re shiny little bastards who just get to do all the cool stuff, but the other races can’t just hop between realms like that; they really have to muster up the willpower. which usually means they can’t do it because a drawback for both dwarves and hobbits is that they favor isolation from other races even in death, and as such don’t want to mingle with each other.
unless you’re Bilbo Badass Baggins though, who simply runs through the barrier to yell at Thorin for leaving him sad and alone for 80 years. he is that bitch.
there’s gonna be some legolas and gimli shenanigans if i can fit them in (cuz i dont know when exactly they sailed west together), possibly a mention of tauriel because bruh peter jackson did us dirty by not giving her any closure besides ‘lol i guess she’s banished from mirkwood??’ and Mairon. because. I also have some thoughts about him.
also Fili and Kili as pseudo matchmakers because every fic needs that
and did I mention there’s gonna be hozier lyrics for chapter titles
i said this was the gist of it but i somehow ended up at ~1900 words. well, more power to me.
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mikkock · 5 years
Note
Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?
Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)
But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)
SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)
So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.
They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)
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cuties.
I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg
First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.
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Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)
But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.
He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).
Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)
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Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.
He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.
He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.
he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)
He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)
While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.
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I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.
He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)
First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.
He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.
Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.
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nerd.
Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.
Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…
He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.
Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)
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best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 
He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 
He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.
but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.
his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)
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while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)
if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.
he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.
he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 
he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)
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While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???
But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 
Make them fall in love obviously.
Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.
So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed
BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.
Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.
First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.
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The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)
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Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.
(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)
Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)
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in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.
(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)
SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)
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Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.
Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)
n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)
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ladyloveandjustice · 6 years
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Mom and I listened to Chernow’s biography of Hamilton before seeing the play and I want to write down some of my favorite hot facts that were basically “WHAT A SOAP OPERA  ALL THESE GUYS ARE SO FUCKING PETTY” dont try to nitpick for accuracy on these they’re heavily paraphrased take them with a grain of salt i’m just writing this so i can remember the basics
-I think actually maybe the most hilarious and admittedly brave thing Hamilton did was very early on, a bunch of revolutionary guys came to lynch his prof from Kings College for being a loyalist. Even though they weren’t on the same side, Hamilton was there for his prof, so he actually BLOCKED THIS ANGRY MOB at the staircase and LECTURED them to give his prof time to escape. He was like “blablabla U GUYS R HURTING THE CAUSE >:(” and somehow they didn’t all kill him and he successfully delayed them. Amazing.
-Hamiltons mom was AN EXTREME BADASS, basically her mother sold her off to marry this mean guy and she HATED HIM and he hated her for not being submissive enough and she was like “screw you” and just..left. So he threw her in prison for adultery! like literally prison! and it was prison that wasn’t even used for anything else she was the only one in the prison. He thought this would finally make her submissive but instead she basically skipped town the second she was let out and NEVER CAME BACK. So she was still married to this dude the whole time, which is why she couldn’t marry Hamilton’s dad. 
(also after Hamilton’s dad left she ran a shop to support her family, which was unusual for a young woman to do back then, but she was independent like whoa)
unfortunately she also had a son with her first husband that she left behind with when she ran away(in her defense, I imagine she didn’t have the means to support him at the time and also would have gotten caught if she went back for him), so her first husband turned her son against her, reminding him all the time that she abandoned him and saying she was evil...so when she died the son basically came in and claimed all of the property she’d left and rendered his orphaned half-brothers homeless.NOT VERY NICE AT ALL.
-James Monroe and two other dudes were actually the ones who confronted Hamilton about possible speculation and he invited them to his house and gave this WHOLE HOUR LONG presentation on his affair, with a bazillion papers and letters as proof. Like about fifteen minutes in, everyone realized they were wrong and were like “okay we’re very sorry for poking our nose into your private matters we believe you we’ll leave you alone” but Hamilton was like “NO I’M NOT DONE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD IT ALL YET” and went through the entire thing in ridic self-flagellating detail while his audience just cringed. Afterwards one of the guys was like “that was one of the most humiliating things i’ve ever witnessed”
-Anyway James Monroe definitely probably leaked the Reynolds documents Hamilton showed him even though he swore not to show them to anyone. YES A FUTURE PRESIDENT WHO COULD NOT BE TRUSTED WE’RE ALL SURPRISED.Hamilton was SO mad about this he wrote to him basically saying “YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE OR MEET ME OUTSIDE” because that was his response to everything.  Burr was actually chosen as the mediator for this because he was friendly to both of them at the time and he basically tried to calm them both down and prevent a duel. Monroe had initially said he believed that Hamilton wasn’t embezzling or speculating or whatever, but then he was like “UH I CHANGED MY MIND I’VE DECIDED NOW YOU ARE” which made Hamilton SO mad. Burr actually chastised Monroe about this, basically like “c’mon, we both know Hamilton would never betray his office, I know it, you know it, It’s Hamilton.” Anyway Burr saved Hamilton from dueling James Monroe.
But do you know who ELSE would have probably been fine dueling James Monroe? ELIZA. She was, rightfully, very pissed at him for exposing something that hurt her so much. Monroe did his time as president, and once it was over, he decided he wanted to patch things up with her (Hamilton was long dead by this time ofc, and Eliza was elderly). So he came to her house and Eliza was Not Happy when a servant reported his arrival. Hamilton’s kids remembered “her voice got low like it always does when she’s angry”. She went to see him in their living room and he was all “So, Eliza, a lot has happened and there was fault on both sides”-
and she was basically like “EXCUSE ME??? IS THAT AN APOLOGY? BECAUSE IT DOESN’T SOUND LIKE AN APOLOGY. IF YOU’RE HERE TO ACTUALLY APOLOGIZE I’LL LISTEN TO IT. BUT IF YOU’RE GONNA GIVE ME SOME WEAK “BLAME ON BOTH SIDES” BULLSHIT I’M NOT HERE FOR IT. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING BUT YOU SAYING SORRY THAT YOU BETRAYED MY LATE HUSBAND AND RUINED OUR LIVES. IF YOU CAN’T SAY THAT, THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE”.
Monroe was flabbergasted, and apparently it was too much for him to give an actual apology, so he just left. So let the record show Eliza schooled an ex-president and kicked him out of her house.
-everything relating to Phillip and Hamilton’s duels was super sad. When he was waiting to hear about the results of Phillip’s duel with the doctor (or someone) Hamilton was so overcome with anxiety he actually fainted. He had to be propped up by two people during the funeral because he was so unsteady. Not only did he fall into his first bout of lethargic depression and actually didn’t write anything for a good while (a big deal for him) he didn’t even answer sympathy notes until four months later (also a big deal for him).
-According the doctor, in his own duel, Hamilton knew it was a mortal wound as soon as he was shot. He collapsed, but came to on the boat and the first thing he said was “GUYS BE CAREFUL OF HANDLING THAT PISTOL IT’S STILL LOADED IT COULD GO OFF I DIDN’T ACTUALLY SHOOT IT BUT PLEASE REMEMBER TO TELL EVERYONE I WAS GOING TO THROW AWAY MY SHOT” He did actually shoot it of course, but he fact he didn’t seem to know this makes it seem more likely he just accidentally squeezed the trigger when he was shot.
- the other thing he kept babbling about was how they should get Eliza but break it to her gradually. in stages. Ease her into it. Which it’s nice you’re considerate of her feelings NOW, wish you’d been considerate enough NOT TO DO THE DUEL.
-anyway the description of his death in the bio was very sad and he said he didn’t hold anything against Burr and was at peace though so i guess that’s nice.
-in contrast Burr was such an ASSHOLE about Hamilton’s death omg
-Before I go into WHAT A GIANT ASS JERK HE IS I will give Burr one credit: he believed strongly women were equal to men, and made sure Theodosia was educated in everything, and even had her taught to shoot from horseback. Like he really wanted to make sure his daughter knew how to kill stuff from a horse. i respect that.
-what I don’t respect is that Hamilton actually has EXTREMELY GOOD REASON to feel he couldn’t be trusted in office- there was this whole drama where after New York had a yellow fever epidemic, Burr started pushing this Manhattan water company that would provide clean water to the public, which would be a huge help with yellow fever. He got Hamilton on board with it. But his real plan was actually to sneak in some last minute provisions to the water company bill that basically turned it from a water company to a bank that could complete with Federalist banks. Not only compete with them, but have less restrictions to them. So he basically tricked Hamilton into pushing through a bill that was designed to undermine his own beloved banks. Hamilton was PRETTY PISSED, and I can’t blame him for that. Not to mention, the water company obviously never happened, and other water companies weren’t set up because everyone thought it would be covered- so when yellow fever came back to new york? No clean water, lots of deaths, some of which could have probably been prevented if Burr hadn’t been a greedy asshole.
-Burr showed some signs of regret immediately after the duel, moving towards Hamilton and wanting to talk to him, but he pretty much treated it pretty callously after that. Actually, he want to have breakfast afterwards, and his cousin came to visit and they chatted and HE ACTED COMPLETELY NORMAL AND NEVER MENTIONED HE’D LITERALLY JUST KILLED THE FORMER SECRETARY OF TREASURY. When Burr’s cousin went into town afterwards someone told him what had happened and cuz was like “nah you gotta be wrong i was just with him and he didn’t mention anything like that at all! He seemed completely normal!” then he saw a newspaper and was like “WHAT THE FUCK.”
-he also happily went around sleeping with tons of ladies after the duel and even wrote to Theodosia saying “I actually recommend doing a duel and courtship at same time it keeps ya invigorated” AND WOW WHAT A SUPER APPROPRIATE THING TO WRITE TO YOUR DAUGHTER. Maybe Theodosia was glad to die at sea after reading that. Anyway, the only sign of regret Burr really showed was “the world was wide enough” quote (which might have been a dark joke, but I think there was a grain of truth in it regardless, like Lin Manuel says, who knows).
-Burr was in incredible debt- (so was Hamilton when he died- Eliza’s inheritance from her dad wasn’t enough to cover it but fortunately all of Hamilton’s friends came together and secretly gave Eliza money to cover it which is nice. Jefferson was in SO much debt when he died his entire estate and 200 slaves were all sold to cover it. yeah he didn’t free anyone besides the slaves who were his children in his will, an asshole to the end.) so he left the country to escape creditors in addition to the murder charges and used a pseudonym. 
-Burr also had this weird fucking plan to become emperor of mexico or seize spanish florida or some shit and was plotting it, and he was actually tried for treason because of this! Thomas Jefferson REALLY REALLY wanted Burr to get punished and put all the pressure he could on the Supreme Court to find him guilty and it was test of our constitutional powers- would the supreme court bow down to the president? turns out no, since Burr got off.
-However, he wasn’t unscathed- a SHIT-TON of people close to him died around the time Theodosia died and he was devastated and basically a recluse afterwards (life doesn’t discriminate...) He married a second wife, but she then realized he was fucking terrible with money and was going to drive her into poverty with his shitty land deals (also she was nearly 20 years younger- I wonder if she was counting on him dying and leaving her something and then realized he was going to die and leave her with DEBT instead). So she got- DRUMROLL- ALEXANDER HAMILTON’S SON, ALEX JR, TO DIVORCE THEM. such a asshole move honestly, i gotta respect it, you go girl. Burr might not have been able to tell what was going on though since he was having strokes and stuff. She managed to divorce him JUST IN TIME, on the day of his death.
-honestly i’m most interested in the petty drama of history and how all these people were just behaving like they’re five and fucking up constantly and listening to this biography proved that to me. people are so ridiculous.
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get madder :^)
hey yall remember that post where i gave a 1-or-2 sentence comment about each fanart that got featured in the community update? many people promptly took their panties and corkscrewed them directly up their very touchy buttholes, so i thought it'd be fun to do a follow-up :^)
>everyone who just said "lol bad post u suck ur opinion SUX"
it's my opinion lol deal w it
>it’s kinda cute how you think we would care about this / nobody cares
clearly u do bc ur mad fam!!! hahaha rekd got u!!1!
>perhaps… perhaps art is subjective and they wanted to make some community members happy by featuring them?
they couldve picked a little better was my only point
>"It’s people like this who give new artists anxiety for posting stuff online" / everything about how mean i am bc it will make newb artists feel nerbous :'(
hey guess what! it's the internet where literally everyone can see and say whatever they want. that's the risk ya fuckin take when u post online :^) waahhh
>"It’s called a personal art style"
its common knowledge by now but "its muh style" is not an excuse and yeah its subjective but also sometimes aspects of a pic are just bad
>"how does desnik only get a 5/10 lmao. Amazing shading, a super unique and difficult perspective that brings life to the whole piece? Ye nah that’s shit, apparently."
i said the shading (painting) was pretty good, and they lose points bc "bringing it to life" with a weird pose only works if the anatomy and perspective (which i specified) isnt so off that it takes away from the entire piece pretty significantly, which imo it does. also that pose isnt unique i can find u 10 pics of furries in that exact pose on like the front page of furaffinity or wherever. also i didnt say it was shit LOL
>"“this is anime uwu garbage” is not criticism OP"
fuck yeah it is, you ever been to the front page of deviantart? i assumed the implied "stop using super stylized shitty anime pics as a reference bc ur overall "style" is severely and obviously suffering for it" was kinda evident but i guess not
>"why the fuck do people get so butthurt when someone says their art is bad"
dude THANK you i mean i was expecting pretty severe backlash but i was as least expecting more creativity than literally just "bad post op" 20 times. tho i DID see enough to make this post i guess? this blog is fun but like in a painful way
> “not to be rude to the featured artists, good on them” pick a tone and stick with it
sorry man i really just do have a rude-sounding speaking (,,typing) voice and i dont mean any bad feelings towards these artists, my literal only point is that that one pic has some problems and maybe staff had some better pics to spotlight instead (and i don't even mean that for all of them. top, middle, and bottom left were all good choices and so was desnik's tbh. but i figured id ""review"" them too cuz they were there) i usually even pointed out something i liked about it? but i gotta move fast here cmon 100 character limit
>"dude… do you even know what a sketch is? because that’s in no way a sketch"
what do YOU define as a sketch? i guess the snapper one could also be lineart but its in 2 midtones (which people do when theyre "sketching" out values) and they used a messy brush so my mind went to sketch. and the coatl one looks like they did it really fast and slapped some flat colors on it. actually my point was literally that it looks like they did it fast, like a sketch rather than a lineart
>"at least put in some effort in writing a couple of sentences on each drawing on what, why, and how to improve the drawings. Seeing that some of the art is clearly from amateur artists, some words of advice would at least be helpful here."
yeah u right they definitely deserve better. but i was going fast cuz i just have an affinity for short snappy reviews i guess. like i tried to do cliffnotes, just "this part is good but this part is bad" and then a meaningless number score cuz i aint even addressing this to them, i posted it to a drama blog to complain about staff basically 
>the nocturne guy who wrote a lot
alright cool. you totally have gotten a lot better. i never meant to discourage you for drawing in the first place. incidentally i said u had potential bc u were obviously a new artist, but like u were OBVIOUSLY a new artist with a loose understanding of depth and shading and stuff, and again this is a front page spotlight yadda yadda. ill fuckin hit u with a review right now:
you clearly understand shading and anatomy way better, and that coatl actually looks pretty fuckin good. the lineart is more consistent, it's framed way better, the proportions are WAY better, and it's really clean and stylized. the shading is infinitely more convincingly shiny and reflective. from here, imo you could benefit from going further with shading (darker, more dynamic, leaving little to no flat spaces like the crest fluff and tongue), and maybe polishing the lineart a little more too, like coloring/highlighting it and really pushing/polishing the linewidth (there are tutorials for that). overall that coatl is v cute, keep on pushing poses & shading
>"i bet OPs art sucks ass"
fIT e ME IrL
anyway thanks 4 reading my fucking essay and i'm super high. if you read al lof this then shame on you
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myincomplete · 3 years
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We're Three Months in and Nothing
So yes not much improvement on the money front.
Nor on the studying front
But I went to the doctor! I actually spoke up about my issues, she was nice but at the same time idk she made it seem like all my anxiety and depression was school stress related and not necessarily my own issue. But she was honest about it and said she could put me on medication or send me to a therapist first, i chose the latter and then we'll see where we go from there.
Its a bit of a pain considering the appointment is practically two months after I spoke with my dr but it is what it is. I had to make an appointment for lab work to so that was stupid.
Turns out she went to the same college as me which is pretty cool, she gave me some advice which Ima keep in mind if I don't forget it but that's probably the case. I will be emailing some people tho, so that's a good start, I guess. I'm scared shitless about it though cuz who knows how this will go.
Now, the reason I'm still broke? BTS merch and Twice concerts. I bought RM's pants (one for me and one for my mans), Suga's necklace, and JK's box thingy. That was like $300 right there and then the Twice concert oof. My aunt had to send me some money cuz it was like $700 but I did a payment plan so I only paid $350 and my bf is paying the other half.
Other than that I am broke broke, typically college student life tho amiright?
My mom is mad at me for some reason again, giving me that evil eye look and it's causing me more anxiety. Had a whole panic attack the other night because of it, well I was speaking to my bf and I brought up how if she tells me to leave one more time Im OUT. Like I'm honestly thinking about just packing my shit and leaving next time but who knows how that will go.
He said I had to think about it more because in the moment it'll be a rash decision and I shouldn't make big decisions like that when I'm feeling emotional. I said I'm technically not since I'm thinking about it now yk? But i understood where he was coming from but then he pointed out if I'm ready to risk losing my relationship with my mother and possibly the rest of my family. And cue the anxiety attack, it was short i managed to calm myself down soon after it started but yea.
Honestly, I highly doubt she'll doing or say anything of the sort because there's a family event coming up and we dont want any drama before then. So I have probably a month before shit hits the fan. Hopefully I manage to pay off my card enough by then.
fuck my card ughhhhhhhh i needed it to be paid off by now great. This is gonna be a bitch.
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array-gem · 4 years
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Rant post
I have ruined so many things
-my ipad
 -my brother’s ipad 
-my laptop 
-mom's phones(2) and chargers
 -dad's iphone screen. 1st time- we went to buy smth for me and the phone dropped out of his pocket while coming back so partly it's my fault cuz if i didn't insist on going, it wouldn't have happened 2nd time- today. i was eating on my bed(which i am not supposed to do) and while getting off, i heard a tiny crack under my kneww and i thought i must've forgotten my pen or something and looking down, it's my dad's iphone's cracked screen looking at me yay 
-my eyes too 
-dont even get me started on the plates and mugs
-i poured lotion all of my mom's old phone when i was young which led to A LOT of drama cuz it was brand new and some distant relative took it saying he'll get it repaired but never returned it and he actually gifted that phone to his own wife like wtf
 -two calculators in two years 
-an apple watch 
-my brother’s head. twice. we were playing and i accidentally pushed him off the bed and he hit his head and cracked it open(little bit) but we had to give him stitches and now there's still a tiny bald spot on his head cuz the doctor had to shave that part. second time, we were playing too and i accidentally smashed his head against the bars of our window and there was a little bit of blood but nothing major. 
-my expensive headphones. 
-who knows how many pairs of earphones jeez 
-i dropped dad's iphone on the first day he let me hold it and on the first day he "officially" gave it to me cuz he got a new one
-mom's opportunity to get a job. my mom was gonna get a job but then she got pregnant with me and let herself become a housewife so yea i am kinda responsible for my mom’s misfortune cuz if I wasn’t born, she would have a decent job to support herself today
-my brother literally did not get any attention from dad as a child because of me because when he was born, the doctor told my parents to pay more attention to me cuz if i didn’t get my share of attention, it might lead to psychological problems for me cuz i and my brother are only 1 year 3 months apart(sike i am still mentally ill. i’m pretty sure i’d be diagnosed with anxiety, depression, adhd and an eating disorder if I were to go for a check up) and now we barely talk other than the "how r classes" and "how r u" stuff.
-my friendships. soooooooooo many of them. 
-nobody wanted me to be honest. that’s what it feels like when I hear the stories. See the plan was my mom was gonna get a job but I popped up out of nowhere and she gave up on her dream. my grandfather was way happier when my brother was born than he was with me (sexist much?). there aren’t even any photos around from when I was a baby. all my photos start from when i was 4/5 and in the only two photos of me as a baby, you cant even see my face and my step-grandma tried to kill me apparently. but i didn’t die, just got sick for a long time nobody ever tells me the whole story. 
-my brother actually thinks i’m cursed cuz whenever I am around, nothing good happens. things will go wrong SOMEHOW
-we were on a trip from school and 4 of us were rooming together and i went to the washroom and the shelf on the side just dropped when i was brushing my teeth like??? why ME??? they might think i did something! 
-my childhood friends say i used to be an absolute bitch of a girl and they were scared of me cuz if they went against me, i would make everyone stop talking to them and i dont remember enough to deny or confirm that. 
-i blinded a bird as a child cuz it got trapped in my bird cage(which i left open for my own birds) and when I took it my terrace to free it, i didn’t hold the cage high enough and the bird flew out and hit the wall of the terrace and blinded its eye
even other than these, I have ruined so many stuff. i remembered so many stuff i i did that i dont want to write out but damn just realized i am actually a pretty horrible person even if you ignore everything written above like how have my parents and brother put up with me for so long i really want to change myself and i have been trying so much but this habit of breaking stuff unintentionally never goes away i am tired
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