#i feel better about this one - had a 4 hour study session yesterday with some mates

[despite-everything]

have this geology exam in the morning and im fucking nervous man. last exam in that class i got the worst grade ive ever received on an exam in my LIFE

[randomposterofstuff]

Soldiers by Choice - Chapter XXIV

Previous Rating: T

Updated Rating: M

Author's Note: Okay. So, as mentioned during the last update, the rating of this story is now 'M' as of this chapter. Hahaha. I admit that I feel kinda nervous since I don't have much experience with smut. I've written smut before, but not very extensively. Haha. At any rate, I hope that you'll like this chapter!

Also tagging @a-slut-for-smut. Hello! I frequently see you in the RM tags. So, I thought that you might be interested in this particular chapter. Haha. If you have the time to read it, let me know what you think, friend! Also, just for context: as of this chapter, Levi is 29 while Mikasa is 23. Haha.

Tumblr Chapters List can be found here.

This story is also available on Ao3! Click on the link below!

Chapter 24: Promises and Nightcaps

Summary: Armin and Annie talk after training together. Meanwhile, Levi and Mikasa spend the night together after working long hours.

849 (7th Month)

---

Armin takes a breath and wipes a bead of sweat from his brow before crouching into a fighting stance. He raises his fists to face-level and eyes the padded wooden training dummy in front of him.

As he conditions his mind to prepare for the task at hand, he hears the subtle chirping of birds from outside the windows of the empty training chamber. From the corner of his eyes, he also sees early morning sunlight filtering in from the windows.

The sun had not yet risen when Armin met with Annie for their pre-training jog about an hour earlier. Dressed in training shorts and white sleeveless training tops, the two blondes jogged laps around the compound under an inky-blue sky.

Today is a free day for all the cadets. A great number of them use their free days to get more sleep, chat, or simply rest. Meanwhile, some use their free time to practice training drills or to study for classes. In Armin’s case, he’s now training with Annie after he approached her yesterday and asked if she could train him today.

Armin takes another breath to calm himself and his body, keeping in mind Annie’s advice to keep the body as fluid as possible during a fight.

A few feet to his right, Annie observes his fighting stance, her cold-blue eyes assessing how his knees and elbows are bent.

“Alright,” Annie calls out, raising her right arm to hold up a pocket watch while crossing her left one over her front. “You know the drill, Armin. 20 kicks on each side as fast as you can.”

“Got it!” Armin responds, steadying his legs as he waits for Annie’s go-signal.

“3… 2… 1,” Annie counts down, looking at the dial of the watch.

“Strike!”

“Hragh!”

Armin grunts as he swings his right leg and kicks the side of the training dummy. As soon as he makes contact, he quickly lowers his leg before swinging it again for another kick.

2… 3… 4… 5… 6… Armin grits his teeth as he counts his kicks in his mind, 7… 8… 9…

The training chamber is quiet save for the rhythmic muffled thumping of Armin kicking the padded training dummy. Beads of sweat fly off Armin’s temples as he twists his hips in time with his kicks, all the while keeping his standing leg steady.

18… 19… 20!

As soon as he lands his 20th kick on the dummy’s right side, Armin quickly lowers his right leg, sliding it back and shifting his weight onto it before swinging his left leg to kick the dummy’s left side.

---

From her place at the side, Annie watches as Armin lands his first left-legged kick on the dummy’s left side. As Armin deals a steady flow of kicks, Annie notes with quiet approval that he now shifts his hips instead of his torso when he prepares to kick.

Annie’s mouth quirks up a bit when she recalls how Armin would always twist his torso in the direction of his kicks during their first training session. After calling him out on it, she explained that twisting the hips is a better way to add power to kicks. Armin immediately took note of it and began to be more mindful of his movements.

---

12… 13… 14…

As Armin continues kicking, a dull ache starts to radiate from his left calf muscle. He winces at the sensation but does not stop.

15.. 16… almost there! Armin grits his teeth even more harshly, focusing on the number of his kicks to keep his mind off the pain, 17… 18... 19… 20!

Armin lets out a huge sigh of relief after landing his final kick. Meanwhile, Annie shifted her eyes back to the pocket watch after he landed his final kick. Annie observes the placement of the watch hands and she mentally calculates the amount of time that had passed since Armin started.

With his left leg still pressed against the training dummy, Armin takes a moment to catch his breath. Beads of sweat trail from his forehead and down to his chin, and he wipes them away before they can drip to the floor.

“So…” Armin says, lowering his leg and turning to face Annie. “How’d I do?”

“You finished in 2 minutes and 3 seconds,” Annie says, eyes still on the watch. “You beat your old record by 5 seconds,” she adds, a half-smile on her face when she looks up at him. “Good job, Armin.”

A surge of elation breaks through Armin’s weariness, and he grins widely.

“Yes!” he quietly cheers, allowing himself to celebrate the small improvement in physical prowess.

But a moment later, his left calf throbs, causing him to wince again. He then crouches down to rub it gently.

Annie raises a brow. “You okay?”

Armin presses his lips tightly as he applies light pressure to the aching muscle.

“I’m fine, Annie,” he replies, hand still on his calf muscle. “I think it got strained while I was kicking.”

Annie approaches and kneels in front of him. “Hmm…” she hums contemplatively, observing how he tenderly massages his leg. “Well, I know that the pain sucks. But like they say, ‘no pain, no gain’.

“But in any case, I think that we should cut this session short today,” Annie says, shifting her eyes to Armin’s face. “If you keep working that leg instead of letting it rest today, it’s going to be a liability to you during class training drills.”

“No!” Armin exclaims, snapping his head toward Annie. “We barely just started! And this morning is my only free time for personal training exercises!” he explains.

“I understand your point about my leg,” Armin says, conceding to her logic. “But maybe we can spend the rest of our session focusing on other drills that don’t involve kicking?”

Armin’s tone is pleading, but Annie also notices the determined look in his bright blue eyes.

“Fine, if you insist,” she says, unable to turn him down. “We can work on your punches today.”

---

Armin heaves heavily as he plonks down on a wooden bench inside the training chamber. He reaches for the towel next to him and wipes the sweat from his face.

“Here.”

Armin places the towel down and sees Annie carrying two water canteens; she’s holding one out to him.

“Thanks, Annie,” he says, accepting it with a grateful smile.

Annie nods before sitting next to him and taking a drink from her own water canteen.

Armin gulps his water down, feeling dehydrated from their training session. He lets out a content sigh as soon as he drinks his fill.

“You’re thirsty,” Annie comments, after taking sips of her water at a more moderate pace. “But that’s not surprising, given how much you were sweating earlier.”

Armin laughs a bit sheepishly. “Well, I don’t have as much stamina or strength as you.”

“A lot of people don’t have as much stamina or strength as me,” Annie states casually, swirling the water in her canteen.

“But unlike others, you actually try to improve yourself,” she says, turning to Armin with another slight smile. “And you’re actually improving, too.”

Armin’s awkward smile becomes more genuine at her comment. “You really think so?”

“Your results speak for themselves, Armin. I’m not saying that you’re a fighting prodigy, but your progress is definitely there,” Annie says before taking another sip of water.

“Speaking of which, you got the hang of those punching techniques faster than I expected,” she says, re-capping her water canteen. “If you want, we can add another hour to today’s session and practice a couple more punches.”

Armin perks up at the suggestion, but his enthusiasm lessens when a look of realization suddenly crosses his face.

“Oh, I’d like that, Annie. But I just remembered that I promised Eren that I’d help him study today for the upcoming Strategy class exam,” he explains, voice sheepish. “He’s been having a hard time in class lately, so I said that I’d tutor him for the rest of the day.”

Annie scoffs.

“Considering that Eren’s go-to strategy is to jump right into a fight with his fists, I say that he definitely needs your help.”

Armin laughs heartily at her words, finding her direct and unironic statement about his best friend to be hilarious.

“I won’t argue with you on that,” Armin says, lips still twitching, “Eren doesn’t always think before he acts.”

Annie huffs an amused sound. “That’s an understatement.”

Armin chuckles again, and even Annie smiles more visibly.

The laughter eventually fades after a moment, leaving the two blondes in relatively amiable silence.

“By the way, I’ve always wondered,” Annie states, breaking the quiet. “Why do you hang out with Eren?”

Armin blinks at the question, feeling surprised.

“Eren and I have been best friends since we were children,” he explains. “But you already knew that.”

“I did,” Annie confirms; everyone in their batch knows that Eren and Armin are survivors from Shiganshina and that they’ve known each other even before the breach. “And I get that you’ve been close since you were kids. But what I don’t know is why you’re so close. The two of you are so different from each other. So, I don’t get why you stick so close to him.”

It was one of the first things she noticed about the pair. From their very first day as cadets, Annie already saw just how different Eren and Armin are from each other. Eren is hot-headed, headstrong, and prone to getting into fights. Conversely, Armin is calm, reasonable, and more of a pacifist. And while Eren is more physically adept, Armin is more academically-inclined.

“Ah, I see what you mean,” Armin says, understanding the logic behind Annie’s question.

“Well, it’s a long story,” the male blonde states, looking forward at the array of training equipment on the other side of the room. “I won’t get into details. But the gist of it is that Eren saved me when I was in serious trouble.”

Annie raises a brow at that, wondering what kind of trouble a young Armin Arlert could've gotten himself into. But she remains quiet and lets him continue speaking.

“I lost all my family shortly before I even met Eren. So, I had no one to go to after I was rescued. And that’s when Eren and his parents took me in,” Armin narrates with a small smile on his face. “Dr. Yeager and Mrs. Yeager were very kind to me. They treated me like I was their own son, and Eren was like the brother I never had.

“Eren always watched out for me when we were younger. And that included defending me from local bullies. But the problem with Eren is that he’s always been brash and foolhardy, so he often got into fights with other children and not just the bullies. And that made Mrs. Yeager very concerned,” Armin states with a small chuckle. “There was this one time when Eren suddenly took off running to go to a local festival. He sprinted out the door as soon as he finished his breakfast. Before I went to go after him, Mrs. Yeager made me promise her that I’d try my best to keep him out of trouble.”

Armin then goes silent as memories of happier and simpler times flash in his mind. A feeling of bittersweet nostalgia surges through him as he recalls the moments he had with the Yeager family before their hometown was lost to the Titans.

“You’re right that Eren and I are very different,” Armin eventually says, turning back to Annie. “And I can understand why that seems odd to some people. But I’m close to him not just because he saved me, but because he’s always been good to me in his own way despite our differences. Another reason is that I also want to keep my promise to Mrs. Yeager."

“Your promise to Eren’s mom?” Annie questions. “To keep him out of trouble?”

“Exactly,” Armin says, nodding. “When Mrs. Yeager asked me to watch out for him, I knew that she wasn’t just talking about the festival,” he states with a slight smile. “Plus, Mrs. Yeager was like a mother to me from the moment I set foot in their house. So, the least that I can do for her now is to try my best to keep her reckless son out of trouble.”

Armin goes quiet again as his memories of Carla Yeager appear in his mind. He recalls the kind smile she gave him when she welcomed them into their home. He also remembers how her gentle hands applied balm to the scrapes on his knees after he tripped while playing a game of chase with Eren.

The pleasant recollections then cross with his memories of the day Shiganshina was breached. Armin feels a pang in his chest when he remembers how he was too paralyzed with fear to follow Eren when he ran to Mrs. Yeager.

Armin thinks that he can never forgive himself for failing to even try to help the woman who showed him what a mother’s care is like.

Annie hums contemplatively, re-capturing Armin’s attention.

“So, you’re also trying to keep a promise, huh?” Annie comments, sounding thoughtful. The word ‘promise’ rings a bell in her mind and brings forth the memory of a tearful plea to return accompanied by a tight embrace.

“I guess I can respect that.”

Armin smiles at her response. “I appreciate you saying that, Annie. And I also appreciate you agreeing to have training sessions with me. It’s really kind of you to help me with my fighting skills.”

Annie scoffs as she turns away from him. “I’m not the kind type, Armin.”

“Well, you’re kind to me,” Armin counters, still smiling.

A half-smile forms on Annie’s face, although she doesn’t say anything else.

“Armin! There you are!”

The two blondes startle at the interruption before snapping their heads to the door. At the doorway of the training chamber stands Bertolt, dressed in his casual blue-long-sleeved shirt and dark pants.

“Eren’s been wondering where you are,” Bertolt explains, walking further into the room. “He says that he’s been waiting for you to tutor him for the Strategy class exam.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Armin exclaims, standing up quickly. “I have to go, Annie!” he says, turning back to the female blonde, “Thanks again for training me today!”

Armin then grabs his things and exits the room, leaving only Bertolt and Annie.

“So…” Bertolt scratches his head awkwardly. “… you and Armin looked like you were having a nice chat. What were you talking about?”

“Nothing of interest,” Annie answers flatly, also standing up. “Anyway, I’m heading back to the women’s barracks. See you around, Bertolt.”

---

Levi feels his eyes straining as he continues to write. His oil lamp is already starting to burn low, and he knows that it will go out completely in less than an hour. He briefly contemplates adding more oil in it. But as he checks the paperwork in front of him, he realizes that he's almost finished. So, he decides to let it be since the lamp still provides enough light for him to write.

From his left, he hears Mikasa sigh in relief as she places her pen down.

“I’m finally finished with my half of the backlogs,” she announces.

“I’m almost done with mine. Just a few more paragraphs,” Levi comments, pausing for a moment to rub his eyes.

“Do you want some tea for a nightcap?” Mikasa offers, observing his weariness.

“A cup of tea before bed sounds good,” Levi replies, already back to writing. “Especially after hours of paperwork.”

Mikasa smiles as she stands up. She removes her jacket before stretching her arms overhead, finding it easier to properly extend her shoulders and limbs without the extra layer of fabric. She then stacks all the papers on her desk before placing them in a box next to her chair. She then moves to the stove, and that’s when she notices that all the lamps in the room are burning low.

"Do you think we should add more oil in the lamps?” she asks. “The entire office is going to dark soon at this rate.”

“No, we’re just about done here,” Levi replies. “We can oil them in the morning.”

“Alright, then,” Mikasa comments before heading to the stove on the right side of the room.

She fills the pot with water from the jug and sets it on the stove. After she turns the stove on, she retrieves her pocket watch from the inside of her jacket. Looking at the dial, she sees that it is less than an hour before midnight.

No wonder it’s so dark right now. She muses, looking at the sky behind their window. Apart from the full moon, the sky is practically pitch-black.

The captains had spent nearly the entire day in their office finishing mountains of accumulated paperwork. The pair never left the office except to have meals at the mess hall, with both of them wanting to finish everything before tomorrow.

“I’m finally done,” Levi grouses, setting his pen down. He rubs his eyes with one hand before standing up and removing his own jacket. He drapes it over his chair before raising his arms over his head to stretch his back. He continues to stretch until his middle vertebra pops audibly.

Mikasa giggles as she retrieves their tea cups and a tin of teabags from the overhead cupboard. “Is your back giving you problems?”

“I’ve been sitting on my ass all day. So, of course, it’s giving me problems,” Levi replies as he gathers his papers and places them in a storage box next to his desk. Once done, he moves over to the divan in the office.

The kettle whistles in a few minutes, and Mikasa removes it from the stove’s hotplate. She then pours hot water into their teacups before making her way to the divan.

Mikasa offers one cup to Levi once he’s within reach.

“Thanks,” Levi replies when he accepts the cup.

Once the cup is in his hands, Mikasa sits next to him and nestles against his side. Levi wraps an arm around her shoulders, keeping her close to him.

The couple simply sits together in silence as they drink their tea. For a long while, no words are exchanged. They just sit and silently enjoy each other's company along with their tea.

As soon as he drains his cup, Levi bends forward to place it on the table in front of them. Afterward, he leans against the back of the settee and takes a deep breath, all while still keeping his arm wrapped around Mikasa.

Levi then closes his eyes, wanting the last bit of strain from earlier to subside. After keeping his eyes shut for a few moments, he opens them again and is glad that they feel more relaxed than earlier.

He then shifts his gaze to the woman snuggled against him. Mikasa is still sipping her tea. Although Levi can see that she's almost done since there's not much tea left in her cup.

Levi also notes the effect of the room's low lighting on her features. The dimming lights of the gas lamps cast a soft glow, which compliments her fair skin and accentuates her strong cheekbones. The soft lighting also highlights her dark grey orbs, which appear to glimmer.

Levi keeps his eyes on Mikasa even after she finishes her tea. After she takes her last drink, she sighs contentedly before bending forward to put it on the table in front of them.

Mikasa then turns to Levi when she leans back against the divan.

“You’ve been staring at me,” she states, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I've been looking at paperwork all day," he responds, pulling her closer with the arm around her. "and I wanted to give my eyes a break by looking at something beautiful.”

Mikasa giggles as her cheeks turn red. Levi smirks at her reaction and lifts his free hand up to her face.

“Can I have a kiss?” he asks, lightly caressing her cheek.

She giggles again. “Have as many as you like.”

Levi leans toward Mikasa, holding one side of her face and catching her lips with his. Mikasa raises her head from his shoulder so she can kiss him more properly. Levi presses their lips together firmly for a long moment before pulling away. He moves his hand from her face to her nape before planting a series of quick kisses on her lips a moment later.

Mikasa laughs lightly in-between kisses, and she braces her hands behind his neck when he trails his lips across the rest of her face. Levi starts with a few kisses on her chin before making his way up to her right cheek and brow.

“You’re a bit greedy tonight,” she teases, stroking the soft hairs of his undercut.

“Oi. You said that I can have as many as I like,” Levi murmurs against her forehead before moving his lips down to her left cheek.

Mikasa huffs amusedly. “Fair enough.”

When Levi’s lips drift near the corner of her mouth, Mikasa shifts her head so they can share another proper kiss. They angle their heads as they brush their lips together slowly, and Levi’s arm around her shoulders moves down to the small of her back to pull her even closer to him. Soon, their mouths open more widely as their tongues start sliding against each other.

By the time they pull away, the gas lamps have dimmed considerably – only small orbs of light can be seen inside the glass cases. Even so, their physical closeness allows them to see each other clearly.

Levi sees the blush on Mikasa’s cheeks. He thinks that the rosy color on her skin, accompanied by her gentle smile and shimmering dark eyes all make for a beautiful sight.

“You okay?” Levi asks, lifting his hand from her nape to brush his thumb against her cheekbone.

“I am,” Mikasa whispers, leaning into his touch. “How about you?”

“I’m also okay.”

The pair then go quiet. For a while, they do not speak and simply look at each other.

Mikasa observes Levi’s face. His typically furrowed brows are relaxed, and the corners of his mouth are subtly quirked upwards. But what really catches her attention is the gentle look in his usually impassive steel-blue eyes as he continues staring at her.

“Levi?” Mikasa eventually breaks the silence.

“Yes?”

“Kiss me again.”

Levi wastes no time in closing the gap between them. This kiss is more heated than the ones from earlier – their lips brush more intensely and their tongues slide more quickly.

As more time passes, their kiss deepens – with their mouths and tongues moving with even more fervor. The air around them intensifies, and they both feel the need to be closer.

With their lips still connected, Mikasa shifts herself, moving onto Levi's lap. She braces her hands on his shoulders, and he grips her hips tightly, steadying her.

Their hot breaths mingle as they continue to kiss until Levi breaks away to nibble across her jawline. Mikasa briefly retrieves her hands from his shoulders to unfasten her cravat. The moment the fabric slides down her neck, Levi immediately ducks his head to press a kiss on the soft skin there. She sighs dreamily and moves her hands to his nape when he drags his heated lips across her neck.

Levi plants kisses on her throat, sternum, collarbone, and just about everywhere with exposed skin. Mikasa kisses the top of his head and strokes the soft hairs of his undercut, silently encouraging him to keep going. After a long while, he trails his lips back to Mikasa's waiting ones.

When their lips reconnect, Mikasa kisses Levi firmly and nudges him to rest his back on the divan's upholstered back. When his back gently hits the cushioning, Mikasa drops her head to his jawline, reciprocating his earlier ministrations.

Levi exhales heavily and closes his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Mikasa's lips on his neck. She trails soft kisses and occasional gentle nibbles across his skin, and he grips her hips even more tightly.

Several moments later, Mikasa moves back up to Levi's face for another long kiss. They keep their faces close even after they break away. Mikasa exhales heavily, and she feels her spine tingle when she looks into Levi's eyes. The gentleness in his steel-blue eyes from earlier had morphed into something burning.

Still holding his gaze, Mikasa glides her hands from behind his neck and slowly slides them across his shoulders and down his chest. Levi hums appreciatively; he can feel the warmth of her hands through the fabric of his shirt. He looks into her eyes the entire time – if her dark orbs were glimmering earlier because of the lighting, they’re now smoldering with something else.

With her hands on his chest, Mikasa moves her fingers to the center lining of his gray shirt.

“Can I touch you?” she asks, one finger fidgeting with the knot of his cravat and another playing with the topmost button of his shirt.

“Yes,” Levi whispers, not hesitating for a second.

With his assent, Mikasa starts unfastening his cravat. Her fingers undo the knot efficiently, but she doesn't rush. Once done, she lets the fabric hang around the collar of his shirt before moving to the shirt's buttons.

She undoes the first four buttons, and his chiseled pectorals peek out. She'd touched his skin before during sparring sessions, but touching him this way while undressing him is an entirely new experience. She reaches to touch the newly-exposed skin. As Mikasa glides her hands over his muscles, she feels the rumbling in Levi’s chest as he exhales deeply again.

Mikasa’s eyes follow the trail of her hands, a thrill of excitement shooting through her nerves as she feels how Levi’s muscles would ripple under her touch. She continues unbuttoning his shirt as her touch descends. When she feels something shift against her inner thigh, her eyes fall onto his lap and she sees the bulge that had grown there.

“Well…” she remarks as she undoes his final shirt button, “… it’s nice to know that I have that effect on you.”

Mikasa’s lips quirk up into a smirk as she looks up to meet his eyes again. And Levi feels his cock twitch at the sight of her confidence.

“You don’t know the half of it,” he says, voice low and gravelly.

Levi keeps his eyes on her until he tilts his head and moves forward, catching Mikasa's lips again. She kisses back slowly, matching the brushes of her lips to the movements of her hands on his chest.

Levi grips her hips tightly, his hands aching to roam over her body.

“Can I touch you, too?” he asks in-between kisses.

“Yes,” Mikasa whispers. “Touch me however you like.”

Levi's hands come alive at her invitation. He starts slowly at first, tentatively running his hands up-and-down her hips. Mikasa hums approvingly against his mouth at the feeling, and she extends the reach of her hands - trailing them all over his chest, torso, and neck.

Levi grunts at the additional sensations and feels the urge to reciprocate the same amount of effort. He slides his hands down to her thighs, caressing them and feeling the contours of her strong muscles through her pants. His hands then glide up again, palming her clothed torso before his fingers begin unbuttoning her shirt. He starts with the bottom buttons, sliding his fingers over her toned abs as soon as they are exposed. Mikasa moans at the sensation, and Levi feels her abs flexing against his fingers as he continues undoing the rest of her shirt.

When he undoes the topmost buttons, he places one hand on her brassiere-covered breast while the other slides downward to settle on her backside. As he starts massaging her bosom and ass, he quietly marvels at how her breasts feel so soft compared to the rest of her taut and defined body.

Mikasa moans, and their mouths start clashing more frantically. Levi’s ministrations send pleasant thrills throughout her body and she slides herself even closer to him, wanting more.

She brackets her thighs against his hips. In response, Levi wraps his arms tightly around her waist, with one hand pressing against her back to keep her close to him. She is practically crushed against him, and Levi ducks his head to lavish her slender neck with even more hot kisses.

Mikasa gasps, tilting her head so his lips can reach more of her skin. With his face pressed against her, Levi mouths at her neck before going lower. He kisses, nibbles, and licks at her collarbone before moving down to her chest.

“Oh,” Mikasa moans when she feels Levi’s hot breath against the tops of her breasts. Levi drags his lips over and around her covered bosom, practically burying his face in her chest. Mikasa wraps herself around him even more tightly and places a hand on the back of his head, wanting him even closer even though there is barely any space left between them. On instinct, Mikasa rolls her hips against Levi's, and he groans loudly.

“Mikasa…” Levi grunts, voice muffled against her chest.

“Levi…” Mikasa breathes out his name, carding her fingers through his hair. “… I want more.”

Mikasa feels him growl against her as he tightens his hold around her waist before untying her short ponytail and fluidly shifting them onto the divan with Levi on top of her. When they land on the cushioned padding, Levi lifts his head from Mikasa's chest, and she grabs his head to bring him back down for a proper kiss. They kiss hungrily, mouths, teeth, and tongues clashing. After a hot minute, Mikasa hooks her legs around Levi's waist and they both groan when their lower bodies collide.

Their physical closeness allows them to feel each other’s body heat through their clothes, making them both feel feverish. Levi lifts his head as he breathes heavily. Adrenaline surges through his veins as he looks down at his girlfriend.

Mikasa also breathes heavily, her cheeks are flushed and her dark hair is fanned out behind her on the divan’s cushioning. Her chest heaves as she catches her breath, with the tops of her breasts and her abs splayed in full view courtesy of her opened shirt. Even though they’ve broken away for air, there’s still a heated look in her dark eyes.

“Do you want to go further?” Levi asks, brushing away some dark strands stuck on her forehead. “Or should we stop here?”

Things had been escalating, but now that they've slowed down a bit, Levi wants to be sure about how far Mikasa wants to go tonight. He'll follow her lead, whatever it might be.

Mikasa looks up at her boyfriend. His usually kempt dark hair is mussed up from her fingers carding and gliding through it, and some beads of sweat start to form on his temple. His grey shirt hangs completely open, exposing the smooth muscles of his chiseled chest and torso. The heated gleam in his steel-blue eyes intensifies when she meets his gaze.

“I…” she starts to say, meeting and matching the intensity of his gaze, “… want to continue this in my room.”

---

Their lips latch onto each other even before Mikasa’s bedroom door completely shuts closed, and Levi's hands are on Mikasa’s hips, pressing her against the door. Mikasa rests her back against the door and pulls Levi even closer to her. Their momentum had slowed down somewhat in the time they took to turn off the lamps in their office before moving to her room. But as their mouths clash, the fire between them is steadily reigniting.

After a hot minute of hot kissing, Levi glides his hands up to start unbuttoning Mikasa’s shirt again. He briefly wonders why they even bothered to re-do the buttons of their shirts before they left the office – since it was near midnight, the corridors were expectedly empty when they practically dashed through them.

But once Levi undoes the last button and shrugs it off Mikasa’s shoulders, he realizes that it's good for foreplay since it gives him the pleasure of completely undressing her from top to bottom. When her shirt falls to the floor, he unhooks her brassiere next. Once her upper body is bare, Levi takes advantage of the unrestricted access to touch every bit of skin he can reach – he massages her freed breasts, strokes her bare back, brushes her sides…

“Oooh…” Mikasa moans at the feeling of Levi’s calloused hands on her. The rough texture of his palms raises goosebumps all over her bare skin.

“Good?” Levi asks, ducking his head to kiss her neck and shoulders.

“Yes,” she whispers in reply.

Mikasa rests her head against the door as she savors the feeling of Levi’s hot lips on her neck and his hands roaming over her skin. She sighs longingly when she once again feels the urge to touch him without any barriers. So, she slides her hands down from his shoulders and unbuttons his shirt as fast as she can without ripping it open.

When Mikasa gets the last button, she moves to push it off his shoulders. Levi pulls back a bit and pauses his fondling of her to let her slide the sleeves down his arms. Once his shirt is discarded, Levi catches Mikasa’s lips again and resumes touching her. As Mikasa kisses him back, she glides her hands over his biceps, shoulders, and every bit of newly-exposed skin and muscle she can reach.

Levi hums lowly at the feeling of Mikasa’s hands on his skin. Her touches trail fire everywhere they go, and he growls against her lips when her hands tantalizingly slide down his hard abs.

Mikasa feels his abs flex against her palms, and she slides her hands lower until they reach the front of his pants. She feels his cock shift under the cloth when she unclasps his belt buckle and unbuttons his pants. She is about to tug his pants down when Levi suddenly grabs her wrists and guides them to his shoulders.

“Wrap yourself around me,” he whispers, nibbling on her lower lip and pulling her closer by the hips. “I want to take you to bed.”

Mikasa shivers with delightful anticipation. “Okay.”

She kisses him fully and wraps one leg around his waist. Levi then hoists her up, and she wraps her other leg around him. Once he secures his hold on her, he strides over to the bed, their lips still locked in a kiss. He's seen where her bed is when they first entered, so he has no problem navigating.

Levi lays Mikasa down on the bed. As soon as her back hits the mattress, he stands upright and unhooks her legs from his waist to take her boots off. Once the boots are on the floor, he slides his hands across her thighs until he reaches the waistband of her pants.

Once Levi unbuttons her pants, Mikasa readily lifts her hips up to help him discard them. He slides her pants down her legs, with her underwear included. Once he yanks them down her ankles, Mikasa slides herself back on the mattress, catching his stare as she does so. Mikasa holds his gaze even after she lies down on the bed completely naked.

Levi feels his already hard cock twitch almost painfully in his pants as his eyes rake over her bare figure. The only light source in the room is the moonlight coming in from the nearby window, and the pale light casts a nearly ethereal glow on her lithe and toned body.

Levi keeps his eyes on her gorgeous figure even as he starts removing his own boots. He then starts pushing his pants down, and Mikasa's eyes follow his movements. She watches his powerful thighs flex as he steps out from them before standing upright, and that’s when his long erection springs up and greets her.

Mikasa’s eyes roam all over his nude form. Levi’s powerful body in its most naked form wordlessly announces his strength. The sight of him like this – standing tall, proud, and aroused because of her, heightens the arousal already stirring in her lower belly.

Levi kicks his pants to the side, and Mikasa feels pleasurable anticipation run through her when he crawls over the bed to join her.

Supporting himself on his hands and knees, Levi bends down to kiss her defined abs. Mikasa sighs dreamily as she reaches down to card her fingers in his hair. Levi lavishes each divot with hot kisses. Working his way up, he reaches her breasts and lingers there.

“Ah!” Mikasa gasps as her back arches from the bed. She clings to Levi’s hair even more tightly as his hot mouth lavishes attention on her bosom, alternating between mouthing, licking, and nibbling them.

“Oh!... Ah!”

Hearing Mikasa’s gasps and whimpers shoots sparks into Levi’s groin, and he grunts into her chest before quickly lifting his head up to kiss her properly and fiercely. As Mikasa eagerly matches the frantic strokes of his tongue, he settles his lower body between her thighs and she spreads her legs to better accommodate him.

The underside of Levi’s shaft briefly brushes against Mikasa’s slick folds, causing them to groan simultaneously and briefly break their kiss.

They both breathe heavily, their hot breaths fanning each other’s faces. When their eyes meet, Mikasa quietly cants her hips against his. Her clit rubs against his shaft, and she whimpers softly. Levi’s breath hitches for a second before he starts slowly grinding himself against her. Mikasa meets his movements, and together, they synchronize their rhythm.

Now supporting himself on his hands, Levi watches Mikasa's eyes close as her mouth opens in silent pleasure. With every synchronized roll of their hips, his stiff cock rubs against her clit and slides against her wet folds, brushing against her entrance without pushing in any further.  

Sweat forms on their backs as they continue their gyrations. Soon, the tension inside their bodies grows, and they both start craving for more.

“Levi…” Mikasa calls out, opening her eyes and peering up at him with a glazed, dreamy look. “… I want more.”

She slides her hands down his back to cup his ass, nudging him further into her.

Gripping the bed sheets beneath his hands, Levi exhales heavily as he stops grinding.

“Mikasa… are you sure about this?” he asks, staring intently into her eyes. Once they cross this boundary, there’s no undoing what comes next. So, he wants to ensure that she’s ready to take the next step with him.

“Yes,” Mikasa answers, voice steady and holding his gaze the entire time. She places a hand on one side of his face to caress his cheek. “I want you, Levi.”

Still looking into Mikasa’s eyes, Levi shifts his head to press a kiss on the palm of her hand. Mikasa taps her fingers on his lips while he lowers his head to her. When their faces are barely an inch away, Mikasa moves her hand to the back of his neck.

“I want you, too, Mikasa,” Levi whispers, reaching down to properly align his cock with her entrance. “If you want to slow down or stop at any time, just say so,” he says before closing the gap between them to kiss her.

When their lips meet, Levi places the tip of his cock against her folds and presses into her. He slides himself slowly, careful not to hurt her with any abrupt movement.

Every nerve ending in Levi's body comes to life as her warmth envelopes him.

“Shit… fuck…” Levi groans, breaking their kiss. His breathing becomes uneven as he slides in deeper and deeper.

---

“Ooohh!”

Mikasa throws her head back when Levi pushes in.

Her mouth remains open in a wordless cry as his cock starts to stretch her, not having expected that he’d feel so wide. The sensation momentarily overwhelms her, and her breath staggers as she feels more and more of Levi inside her.

When her lover's hips meet hers, Mikasa feels a pleasant fullness, and she lets out a sigh of relief. She takes a moment to catch her breath before righting her head into a more neutral position.

She then looks up at Levi. He's still supporting himself on his hands, and beads of sweat run down his forehead, the smooth muscles of his chest, and his biceps.

But what captivates Mikasa the most is the look of pure ecstasy on his face. His lips are parted, letting out small puffs of air as he evens his breathing. His usually sharp eyes are also hazy.

But his steel-blue orbs sharpen with intensity when they meet her dark grey ones, and his breathing eventually returns to normal after a few more puffs.

"Are you okay?" he asks, eyes roving her face for any sign of pain or discomfort, but there’s none. Instead, he sees only pure want in her heavy-lidded dark eyes.

"Yes," Mikasa whispers. She slides her hands up and down Levi's arms, making him breathe deeply, before wrapping them around his neck to bring him down to her for a kiss.

Levi gently lowers himself down to her, still supporting most of his upper body weight on his forearms to avoid suddenly crushing her. He then reaches for one of her hands and pins it down beside her head, tangling their fingers together.

For a moment, they simply kiss; they brush their lips and slide their tongues as they savor the new sensation of being connected this intimately. Mikasa’s free hand wanders across Levi’s smooth back muscles, wanting to feel as much of him as she can.

They eventually break away for air, and Mikasa cradles Levi’s face with her hand.

“I love you, Levi,” she whispers softly, opening her eyes to peer up at him.

“I love you, too, Mikasa,” he tells her, looking into her dark eyes. Apart from the desire he saw earlier, there’s now also warmth and affection in her eyes. The look she gives him spurs him to take action. He kisses her softly and sensually before whispering: “Let me show you just how much.”

Levi pumps his hips, gently thrusting into her. He grunts as his cock slides in and out of her warm and wet core. Mikasa gasps softly and tightens her fingers around their clasped hands. She shuts her eyes again, and breathless moans flow from her lips as her pleasure slowly increases with every thrust from her lover.

“Levi,” Mikasa mewls, keeping her eyes closed to focus on the sensations at her core.

“Does this feel good?” Levi checks, still moving against her while observing her expression. His lover's eyes are screwed shut, and her lips tremble as she gasps and moans.

“Yes,” Mikasa answers, opening her eyes to look at him again. She slowly trails her hand from his face and down to his neck. “You feel so good,” she states, idly stroking the side of his neck, “… and so much bigger than I expected,” she adds, smirking slightly.

“‘Bigger’, huh?” Levi smirks back at her, still thrusting into her. “Does my size make this better for you?”

“Much, much better,” Mikasa purrs, her voice turning velvet because of her arousal.

Her brazen admission stirs Levi’s own potent arousal, and he leans forward to kiss her. He kisses her deeply, matching the strokes of his tongue to the tempo of his thrusts. The kiss breaks when Mikasa bites his lower lip.

“Do I feel good for you, Levi?” she asks, nibbling on his lip.

She emphasizes her question by purposefully contracting her inner walls around his cock when he pushes back inside her completely. Levi’s breath hitches at the sudden pressure, and he groans when Mikasa gyrates against him. His lover bites her lower lip and whimpers when she moves her hips in a circle, stirring his cock inside her.

“Fuck... Mikasa…” Levi groans, feeling jolts of pleasure shoot through his groin. “… You feel so fucking good for me.”

Mikasa takes her time stirring him, and Levi savors the sensation. The tightness around his cock, mixed with being stirred slowly and purposefully, only heightens his already-simmering arousal.

When Mikasa relinquishes her delicious hold on him, Levi instantly starts thrusting again. His pace is quicker than earlier, and Mikasa moans loudly as she rolls her hips up to his to get more friction. Levi buries his face into her neck, muffling his groans against her feverish skin.

For a long while, the room is quiet except for the sound of their skins slapping, their ragged breaths, their moans and groans of pleasure, and whispered encouragements. Eventually, their movements become more frenzied when they get closer to their respective climaxes.

“Levi…” Mikasa breathes out his name as she feels the pressure in her lower belly rising, “… faster!”

Levi gladly complies and thrusts faster. He groans at the feeling of his cock rapidly slamming in and out of his lover. Mikasa gasps and squeezes their joined hands even more tightly while digging the blunt fingernails of her other hand into his shoulder.

“Mikasa…” Levi calls out, breathing raggedly as he lifts his head from her neck. “I’m close,” he tells her, looking at her flushed face. From the tense tilting of her brows and the glazed look in her eyes, he can tell she’s close, too.

“Me too…” Mikasa whimpers, confirming his thoughts. Peering up at him, she sees his short dark bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead and the almost primal look in his steel-blue eyes as he looks at her.

The sight of Levi like this makes Mikasa want him even more.

“Levi…” Mikasa drags her hand from his shoulder and up to his face, “… keep going. Don’t stop… please,” she pleads, clutching both his face and hand almost desperately.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Levi grunts, his thrusts losing finesse as he feels his arousal building inside his shaft. He bites the inside of his cheek, willing himself to hold out until Mikasa comes first.

Levi doesn’t have to wait for long. A few seconds later, he feels Mikasa’s body tensing beneath him.

“Ah!” Mikasa gasps sharply as the tension in her core builds. She bites her lip and closes her eyes as the pressure rises and rises…

“Oh… OH!” Mikasa wails as she finally reaches her peak. She breathes erratically as her inner walls clench around Levi and her back bows off the mattress with the extra stimulation of his cock still thrusting in and out of her.

“Levi! Oh, Levi!” Mikasa moans, clinging to her lover. She half-dangles as she locks her legs around his waist to take all of him inside her. She throws her head back as her climax wracks through her body.

“Mikasa…” Levi grunts out her name as the crushing pressure around his cock sends him spiraling, “… you’re so fucking hot.”

With his entire length sheathed inside her, Levi grounds his hips. He groans as he ruts against her clit and rides her through her climax. Mikasa moans his name again and clutches his neck to pull him for a bruising kiss. He crushes his lips against hers, swallowing her cries of pleasure. Seconds later, an animalistic growl comes from his throat when he finally combusts inside her.

“Mikasa…,” Levi hisses her name in relief, his hips stuttering as he releases his climax inside her, “… fuck... yes…”

The smell of sex permeates the air, and they're a tangled mess of limbs once they finish. Levi lays on top of Mikasa, panting heavily against her neck with his cock still inside her. Beneath him, Mikasa lays back, catching her breath as she idly strokes the hairs of his undercut.

When their breathings have evened out, Levi raises himself on his forearms to peer down at Mikasa. Her eyes find his immediately.

“Are you okay?” Levi asks, brushing some of her hair away from her face. “Did I hurt you in any way?"

Mikasa did not complain once during their intimate session, but Levi still wants to be sure.

Mikasa shakes her head with a small smile. "No. You were delightful the entire time,” she assures, brushing back his bangs from his sweaty forehead.

Levi smiles. “So, how do you feel now?” he asks, gently stroking her hair,

“Tired,” Mikasa admits, “but very pleased,” she adds with a sly look.

Levi smirks. "Glad to know that my performance was satisfactory."

Mikasa giggles. "Well, I hope you also liked my performance."

Levi's smirk widens. "'Liked' is an understatement."

They meet for another kiss. This time, the kiss is tender and more languid.

“Levi?” Mikasa calls out when he trails his lips to her cheek.

“Yeah?” Levi halts, raising his head to look at her again.

“I need to use the bathroom.”

Levi huffs an amused sound, “Of course.”

He shifts his weight onto his palms as he pulls out of her. They both exhale when their intimate parts separate. After Levi rolls off Mikasa, she sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed.

Levi lays on his side and props his head up on one arm as he watches Mikasa stand up. Even with only a sliver of moonlight, he can see the definition of her back muscles. He also notices the burn scars she got from the flare incident nearly two years ago. The said scars have faded into light brown splotches over time, and they now blend in more naturally with her skin tone.

Levi watches her back muscles flex when she raises her arms over her head to stretch. His eyes linger on them before trailing down to her firm ass.

“Like what you see?”

Levi’s eyes dart up, and he sees Mikasa looking at him over her shoulder with a self-satisfied look on her face.

“I do,” he replies, not shying away from her gaze, “Can I use the bathroom when you’re done?”

Mikasa smiles. “Of course.”

She stretches one more time before lowering her arms. As Levi watches her walk to her bathroom, he knows that she’s swaying her hips on purpose.

“Tch. Tease,” he calls out. Mikasa just laughs as she enters the bathroom.

A few seconds later, Levi sees a small light suddenly flicker from the bathroom doorway. He deduces that Mikasa must have lit some candles. He then lays down on the bed and listens to the sound of water running from a showerhead.

Levi briefly considers joining her for more pleasurable activities. Yet, as he lays on the bed, some exhaustion sets in. Levi muses that tediously working on papers all day with the addition of vigorously making love to Mikasa has considerably drained him of energy. So, he decides to save the idea for another time.

Mikasa reappears after some time, now dressed in a white robe.

“Bathroom’s all yours,” she says, walking over to her vanity area. “I also put out a towel for you.”

“Thanks,” Levi replies as he gets up from the bed. He stretches his neck, arms, and shoulders, and Mikasa watches as the muscles underneath them flex with every movement.

Levi turns to her, having noticed her staring. She simply stares back with a smirk, unabashed by her ogling. He smirks back before sauntering to the bathroom, not bothering to cover his nudity. She keeps her eyes on his naked figure until he enters the bathroom. When he disappears from sight, she continues walking to her vanity table.

She grabs her comb and runs it through her tangled hair. Untangling her dark strands is relatively easy since her hair is still dry. After their passionate love-making, she wants to rest soon. But going to sleep with wet hair is unpleasant, so she decided not to wash her hair since it’d take too long to dry if it gets wet now. She'll rinse it in the morning.

Once her hair is straightened, she walks to the table near her window. On top of the table is a covered jug of water and an empty cup. After she pours some water into the cup, she pulls the table’s drawer open and takes out a bottle capped with a medicinal dropper.

Uncorking the bottle, she squeezes on the rubber bulb of the dropper before taking it out. She then squeezes 5 drops of the bottle's contents into the glass of water. Afterward, she re-corks the bottle and stirs the cup so the contents will mix with water more quickly.

Once she’s done stirring, Mikasa raises the cup to her mouth and takes a drink. She blanches a bit at the unpleasant taste, but she still swallows.

As she continues drinking the mixture, she hears footsteps approaching her from behind. Soon, a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around her waist.

Mikasa lowers the cup from her mouth as she leans back into Levi's embrace.

“Done cleaning up?” she asks, shifting her head to look at him.

“Yeah,” Levi replies, before looking at the cup in her hand. “Is that contraceptive tonic?”

All female soldiers on active combat duty are given free supplies of contraceptive tonic every month. Developed by apothecaries using special herbs and figs, the tonic prevents unplanned pregnancies if taken within 24 hours after sexual activity.

“It is,” Mikasa confirms, swirling the cup’s contents.

Levi presses a kiss to her neck. “Carry on, then.”

Mikasa smiles before she resumes drinking, and Levi alternates between nuzzling and kissing her neck as she consumes the water-tonic mixture. Once she’s done, she places the cup down before turning to face her lover.

The first thing Mikasa notices is that Levi wrapped the towel around his waist. And as she wraps her arms around him, she looks over his shoulder and sees that their clothes are still strewn across the floor.

“I’m surprised that you didn’t pick up our clothes from the floor,” Mikasa teases, referring to his pseudo-obsession with neatness.

“It’s the kind of mess that I don’t mind making. So, I can tolerate it,” Levi responds, tapping his fingers against the small of her back. “But I will get to it eventually.”

Mikasa giggles before kissing him on the lips. Levi cradles one side of her face as he kisses back. He presses their foreheads together when they pull away.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Levi asks, stroking her cheek.

“Yes, of course,” Mikasa responds, smiling gently. "I was hoping you would stay."

Levi smiles back and kisses her forehead. When he removes his lips, Mikasa lets out a light yawn.

“Tired?” he asks, sounding amused.

Before Mikasa can respond, Levi suddenly bends down and hooks one of his arms behind her knees. She yelps when he lifts her in the air.

“Let’s go to bed for some sleep, then,” Levi tells her, unfazed by her surprised expression.

Mikasa laughs and circles her arms around Levi’s neck as he carries her back to bed bridal style.

---

End Note: So... Levi and Mikasa finally did it. Hahaha.

Let me know what you think! As always, comments, reviews, and critiques are most welcome!

[starrynightstudyys]

I posted 76 times in 2022

That's 20 more posts than 2021!

21 posts created (28%)

55 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@darkclassicwithin

@caramelcuppaccino

@litterascriptamanet

@studyartsy

@howl97s

I tagged 45 of my posts in 2022

Only 41% of my posts had no tags

#studyblr - 31 posts

#study - 29 posts

#studying - 22 posts

#studyspo - 20 posts

#study motivation - 20 posts

#starryskyysbujo - 18 posts

#minimalist - 11 posts

#minimal - 11 posts

#minimalism - 11 posts

#workspace - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 86 characters

#but also its topic cuz everything gets more specific the higher up you go in education

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Saturday

I was looking for a picture and realized that I never posted the one above. I’ve added one of my flowers to make up for it. I have 3 exams in three weeks (one I just took yesterday). I also had some med school interviews this week for a special program. I don’t think my chances are good, but it’s still possible.

I hope you get a chance to eat your favorite food today, or at least eat something you enjoy. Many of us have complicated relationships with food, but whether you do or you don’t, I hope you’re able to find some joy in it, guilt-free.

38 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

Productivity Tips

For those who just can’t seem to get things done because their brains won’t let them

There’s lots of cool tips out there to study more and study better, but I don’t see many about just understanding how to study at all and not staring at your work for hours on end and getting nothing done even if you want to.

In short:

Take care of yourself

Organization

Multitask responsibly

Pomodoro

Be careful with your obsessions

Try different study spots

1. Be kind to yourself.

Studying is hard enough, even for the gifted kids, straight-A students, 4.0 since birth, effortless workaholics.

If you feel exhausted, take a break. A timed one is best, but take a break. Sleep, walk around, eat, do something fun, stare at the wall, cry, talk to people, scroll online, rant to yourself about life, do anything except be productive. Rest if you need it. You won’t get things done if you’re always 2 seconds from crying.

Sleep, for the love of god sleep. There’s no competition of “who can function the best on the least sleep”. Get a minimum of 8 hours, please, for your own sanity. At minimum, I do 6 if I have a lot of studying to do in one night, but these are exceptions. You can’t study if you’re sleepy.

2. Have some level of organization

If this means a full bullet journal, a dedicated notion space, daily todo lists, or even random post-it notes and lists on your hand, anything is better than nothing. When you’re overwhelmed and forgetting things, a visual reminder can save a grade.

On the other end, don’t spend hours organizing. If it’s during a break that’s okay, but when it cuts into actual studying, you might be better off with a sticky note stuck to your face then a beautiful header and color-coded database (as painful as it sounds 🥲)

3. Do stuff while you study

Eat snacks, drink stuff, play with figit spinners, play lo-fi or music in other languages. If it’s distracting, then don’t, but consider it.

4. Time yourself

Use pomodoro (cliché, but it works, i promise). If you can’t afford forest, try your phone’s native timer or other free pomodoro timers. For the notioners, Bloc’s has a free widget.

MinimaList is a cute, simple todo list app with a pomodoro feature

5. For the hyperfixators

Time youself like I mentioned above, but do your thing during breaks if you can’t help youself. When I get obsessed with a new fic or show, I take my 10 minute breaks to read or watch. It’s both motivating and comforting.

It’s hard pulling yourself away, but don’t forget about what you need to do. Do your best :) If worst comes to worst, have 30 minute breaks in between the 30 minute study sessions. 30 minutes of productivity every hour is better than 30 minutes of staring at your book and 10 minutes of staring at the wall.

Ideally, don’t give in and read/watch/etc. when you have studying to do, but this is better than nothing.

6. Try different study spots

I didn’t realize how effective this is until recently. Move around every week or every day and get a new spot.

You have options: in just my room, I have my desk, my bed, the ground, and the random chair in the corner. You might also have: random benches outside, the library, your kitchen table, the couch, the grass under a tree, hallways, or your dining hall. This also helps with back/neck pain! Maybe it won’t work for you, but maybe it will.

Just to repeat, be kind to yourself. If your friend was crying, exhausted, burntout, depressed, you wouldn’t tell them to suck it up and study. Don’t do that to yourself either.

See the full post

41 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

#3

Tuesday

I was going to post these pictures yesterday, but i became consumed with this fic I’ve been reading and didn’t post or continue studying.

Here’s a view of my desk with all the mess plus a macro view. On my third straight day of coffee. It’s instant coffee, so low caffeine content. It’s only worked on day 1 and today, so I’m not sure what that’s about.

I hope you’re productive today or least kind to yourself. It’s hard to keep walking these days.

Insta

43 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

#2

Wednesday

I don’t remember when this was taken, but it’s recent. I have a couple exams all at once soon, so classes are a bit overwhelming rn.

Still, I’m doing my best to take little breaks and breathe when I can.

I hope you find time to relax among your chaos today. Rest is always needed.

Listening to: Taehyung’s unreleased song snippets

Insta

45 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

76 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 26 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Total word count: 50,293

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs.

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

A/N: This isn’t my favorite chapter, but it’s been sitting in my drafts for over a year and I figured if I don’t post it now, I’ll never move on to the next. Additionally, as always, I live for feedback. 😉

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 26:

(Words: 2,825)

The bus ride will probably get boring soon, or at least as long as the girls stay asleep, but even as quiet as it is, it’s almost a perfect morning. Being early (around 6:00, I think?), there’s barely any light except street lamps and car lights, but some of the clouds on the right have caught a pretty bluish purple tinge. It reminds me of that Rainbow Fish book Aunt May used to read to me as a kid. To make it better, the morning air is chilly enough that the driver turned the heaters on low so it’s wrapped-in-a-blanket-while-it-snows warm in here. Although that also might be why, apart from general dirt and old gum, the strongest smell on the bus is salty grease— since the nearest heater is under the seat Flash spilled french fries and chicken nuggets in yesterday. It could be worse, though. I mean, it’s not necessarily a bad smell and the traffic isn’t horrible. It’s not the best, but it could definitely be louder and a lot slower. The field of flowing red tail lights ahead of us is oddly comforting, like a snail-slow pasture of mechanical color. 

All in all, it’s a pretty cozy start for a dreaded five hour bus ride. It’s giving me quiet time to think. So that’s where I’m at. Or should be. I got some stuff organized in my head last night even if I keep getting distracted now. Well, it was more like a couple hours ago, since I wasn’t able to get to sleep for so long after we said goodnight. But anyway, I’m trying to focus. It’s just hard, even with both of them sleeping.

From my and Ned’s spot behind them, watching the girls’ heads gently shake and bump against each other as the bus shudders through potholes is kind of calming. They seem so peaceful from this angle, like two people who’ve never pranked me and Ned to the point we were nearly suspended, or kept us awake and annoyed by asking paradoxical hypothetical questions because they know how Ned and I will argue for days if we don’t agree on an answer, or anything else like that. It’s like finding two mischievous cats sleeping, curled up on a chair. It’s easier to appreciate them when they aren’t causing chaos. But it’s not that hard to appreciate them when they are anyway.

Though Ned and I won’t admit it when they’re fully awake, seeing their heads smack into the seat in front of them each time the bus lurched to a halt at stoplights (during the first ten minutes after they’d fallen asleep) was funnier than it should’ve been. Even knowing then that we wouldn’t mention it later didn’t stop us from exchanging silent laughs when they leaned back up, muttering unintelligible complaints before settling their heads back onto one another. For the last couple stoplights before the highway, at least, we decided to be better friends. We both stood up with one leg on the floor and one knee on our own seat so we could easily hold their foreheads back each time it happened. Again, I wouldn’t admit this out loud, even to Ned, but it’s a little bit funny that Ned was a split second slower than me, so while I kept catching MJ’s head before the stop, he half-smacked Y/N’s forehead, like a really-close-to-the-floor basketball dribble, and made a wincing face each time. A lot of times. But it did stop her from colliding with the seat, and she didn’t wake up or complain. 

As nice as it is with them and almost everyone else sleeping through the dark, quiet first hour of the bus trek back to New York, I am excited for her and MJ to wake up. Whenever that is. I’ve missed them. 

But anyway, I really need to focus. God. I’m not doing a great job of that this morning. Apparently. So I’m focusing now. It’s like Ned said. I need to be honest with myself. 

Okay. 

Alright. 

No distractions. 

I’m going to set myself straight now, before we get back, so I can make a game plan and be more decisive and make less mistakes. Fewer? Yeah, fewer mistakes. She’s told me that half a dozen times this since she read that grammar book last summer. But that’s not important.

If I’m being honest... I think I’ve avoided the real possibility that things could work out between us because it felt too risky. And I make some dumb, impulsive choices. So that’s saying a lot. If she said no, what’s the worst that could happen? May and Ned have been asking me that for months, and it’s been so frustrating. The answer should be obvious. The worst thing wouldn’t be the rejection, it’d be if it made her uncomfortable and she broke off our friendship. Or, even if she stuck around, if our friendship changed and I had to watch her get more and more distant, knowing it was my fault and nothing would ever go back to normal. 

Those were the worst — and, I thought, most probable — possibilities. For months I’ve been certain that if anything changed, everything would, and it’d all go to shit. So I kept dodging it. And dodging her before the trip. But, then, things did change this weekend. Things are changing. We fought, and it was super shitty and awful and a total nightmare fiasco, but we made up. And she seemed almost as relieved as me when we did. Now we even have this pact about spending more time together. I know it’s officially only in the name of friendship, but something’s… different. I feel it, and I think she does too. And it doesn’t seem bad. That’s the craziest part. I mean, she even kissed me last night. On the cheek, but still. “Keep it.” Maybe May’s not ridiculous: she really might feel the same way. 

I’ve been texting her this morning, actually. Aunt May. I had to admit that I’m happy she forced me to do the forehead kiss thing last night. As annoyed as I was that she and Ned ganged up on me like that, I can’t dispute the results. She kissed me! Kind of. (To be fair, she did hit my mouth a little bit even if it was an accident.) At first it made me wonder if she heard any of Ned’s shout-comments before I could turn the t.v. up to cover what he was saying. But I doubt it. Even if she felt the same way, I know her too well to think she wouldn’t freak out more and enough that it’d be noticable. Yeah, no, I’d definitely have been able to tell if she’d heard him saying things like, “Nobody’s saying you have to tell her that you googled the probability of high school sweethearts getting married that time she saved your ass on that Bronte essay, but yeah, Aunt May’s right! Just ask her to come over and either talk to her or do the hair/forehead thing!” Anyway, May’s on board with her coming over a lot this week and next week and giving us some space. So are Ned and MJ. Ned said they agreed on giving us two weeks (starting tomorrow) without them hanging out after school. And who knows, if the dance goes really well, maybe it’ll be normal for us to hang out, just us, without the whole group. Because… well, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself. 

I’ll admit, they’re the best friends I could ever have. All three of them. 

And it’s nice to have them all here now, Ned to my left and the girls in front of us. It’s even nicer to be outside of class or the city or crazy study sessions and have had a short breather from all that (despite the shitshow before we smoothed things over and could enjoy it). To be somewhere chill together. Yesterday and today probably feel even better because the last few days, or even weeks… no— months, if I’m being honest— have had me in a kind of less than happy place. But that’s over now. We’re all here and things are finally good. I just wish the girls would wake up, especially since Ned’s back on his phone. Again. 

Yesterday, everybody hung out for most of the afternoon, but being in the whole decathlon group isn’t the same as just being the four of us. Or two. 

Speaking of two— Ned being away during this next week or two is going to make everything so… unfiltered. New. Without his interference and being able to talk to him as often as normal, it’ll mostly just be her and me. Nobody to distract attention or blame stuff on or help me out when I’m doing something dumb (which is often). Like, for example, last night when I maybe let my excitement get the better of me and I might’ve jumped on the bed and thrown a pillow that accidentally broke the lamp on the nightstand. While I don’t really think writing that “Bill Mr. Harrington” note with the school’s address was Ned’s best idea, it helped me not care too much, enough that I didn’t do something dumber like actually tell Mr. Harrington. It might come back to bite us, though. Still, he was genuinely helpful this morning when Flash showed up too. 

While we were hanging out in the girls’ room waiting for them to finish packing, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was Mr. Harrington about to yell at me and Ned for the broken lamp, so I motioned to Ned to shut up and move closer to the head of the bed we were already sitting on where, courtesy of the wall between the bedroom and bathroom, he wouldn’t be able to see us as long as he stayed by the doorway. MJ gave us an odd glance before she got up to answer it. Her annoyed, “What are you doing here?” didn’t immediately disqualify Mr. Harrington, but the sound of Flash’s voice saying, “I, uh, brought you guys some muffins,” made me tense at the first syllable.

“The free muffins they give us for breakfast?”

MJ’s dripping sarcasm nearly made me laugh even though I couldn’t see her, but Y/N turning from her suitcase and walking over to join them killed it still in my throat. 

“Nope,” he said. “They’re fancy muffins from a bakery a few miles away.”

I wanted to roll my eyes out of my skull.

She may not like him, but that doesn’t mean I was wrong about him being into her. What a dumb way to impress someone. “Fancy muffins.”

“Expensive?” MJ asked. Even without seeing her face, I could tell she was giving him the squint death stare. It’s scary to have to respond to that face if you don’t know what the right answer is.

“Yes, especially with the delivery fee,” he said, sounding prepared for the question, “but they’re from a small local place, not a chain, which I figured you guys would appreciate. Actually, I think you’d like the woman who owns it, she was super grouchy and hard to convince.”

“Convince?”

“They don’t normally deliver at 5 in the morning.”

“Oh, so you thought you could just—”

“What kind did you get?” 

That’s one of the things I like about Y/N. She knows how to manage tempers and when to jump in; she has Flash and MJ down to a science. In that moment, though, I wanted MJ to fire her most confrontational questions at him with no mercy.

“Well, they’re all apology muffins—” I heard MJ scoff. Exactly. She gets it. “But I got blueberry, chocolate, obviously, coffee, cranberry orange, maple, I think that one has chicken in it or something, and banana nut.”

Ned and I turned towards each other with silent smirks at the last one. It’s a dumb joke, but under normal circumstances we’d never resist—

“Cool. Since you’ve brought so many, you can come in.”

Sometimes MJ drives me up the wall. This was one of those times. 

I mentally took back my agreement with her scoff.

The three of them came into the room, and for a couple seconds, Flash didn’t see us. The girls were closer to the window than they were to the wall and the bed Ned and I were sitting on, and he didn’t look behind him. Until MJ pointed us out directly.

“You can give them some too,” she said, her expression bordering on smug. “Apology muffins, right?”

Flash froze for a second. I straightened my back. Neither Ned or I said anything.

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded. “Of course.”

Surprisingly, he shook his shoulders like a bug just buzzed by his head and walked over, opening a giant rectangle of a box up to us. 

“Take however many you guys want.”

I stared at him, not moving. Nobody flinched. Then I realized he was tapping the side of the box with his thumb. Not in an asshole come on, hurry up way, but in an anxious way. Just as I started to reach toward the box, Y/N asked:

“Why’d you get so many of the coffee ones?”

Flash looked away at just the right second. 

Did I technically cave first by reaching into the box? Yes. But did anyone see? No.

Although, I guess he technically caved by offering us the muffins in the first place. Ha. All the same, I took a blueberry one. 

“They’re my dad’s favorite. I wanted to surprise him, you know? But I can’t even get a hold of.... Um, are your guys’ parents going to pick you up when we get there, or are you actually staying for school?”

“Staying.”

“All of you?” 

He looked around to ask all of us, even me and Ned. We all nodded. When he looked at me, though, his eyes twitched. It’s a face I’ve gotten a lot before. He realized he said parents. 

“You said these are orange cranberry?” Ned asked, pointing. 

Flash nodded. 

“They’re solid, though the banana nut ones are probably the best.”

As I said, under normal circumstances, like if one of the girls had said it, I would’ve laughed right then, but I’m not used to laughing around Flash. Ned, who usually follows that same rule, shook his head and grinned, if a little bit... nervously?

“Hell no!” he said, pretending to be mildly outraged. “I’m not eating banana-bust-a-nut muffins.”

A second surprise: Flash tilted his head and paused, clearly as stunned to be told a joke by Ned as the rest of us were to witness it— and laughed. So did everyone else. It was only for a few seconds, like literally three quick seconds, but for the first time for as long as I can remember, all of us were laughing with Flash. It stopped almost as soon as it started. 

Tension crept back in soon so he left pretty quickly after that with an awkward, “See you guys in a few.” Thank god. 

The girls finished tidying their room and going over the homework that’s due today (which we did last week since we knew we’d never get it done on the trip), before forcing me and Ned into the hallway so Mr. Harrington wouldn’t need to check our room for us and potentially find the broken lamp. 

And then, pretty soon, we ended up on the warm bus, loaded in with everyone else. It seemed like everybody but Ned and I were too quiet and sleepy and squinty to be able to talk much before dozing off or staring blankly out the window or scrolling social media on their phones, the latter two options leading to the first in most cases. At this point, I think Ned, Flash, and I are the only ones still awake. 

I’m going to work at tolerating him. As long as he doesn’t cross any lines with anybody from now on, I won’t bait him either. (Admittedly, I’ve been guilty of that, especially recently.) I mean, his comment about his dad was hard to miss. And even when he said it, it wasn’t a shock. Everyone in our grade at some point has had to listen to Flash’s rambling excuses for his parents ignoring or forgetting to show up for school events. Maybe being a dick is just hereditary for him. Or a family tradition. 

I don’t remember how I got so off track. Where was I before? Oh yeah. Risk. Possibilities. The almost-worst case scenario that turned out not so bad. It’s been a messy weekend with plenty of re-evaluating, but the point is simple: I think I’ve got to give a few new things a try, and I’m excited to have a chance over the next couple weeks.

Next update: God only knows.

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[sly-merlin]

killing me - 8

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre :    angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : cursing and mention of a knife.

words :: abt 7k

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”                                  

 or              

                      “  curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! )  @yiyi4657​ @sorrywonwoo​ @sillywinnergladiator​ @suhweo​ @exfolitae​ @minejungwoo @leesalts​  @mal-nakamoto23​

@kafenetwork​​ @neowritingsnet​​

K.M masterlist

K.M 7   next

Loneliness. The sentiment long forgotten was kindled again. you were so sure that you were just numb to it by now, had hoped that you won’t be affected by that ever again but the compass was directing to all the wrong sides. To experience what you first did 20 years ago was not something you were ready for but given a thought, it would never be.

This could be counted as your longest ride to the university. You felt sick to your stomach but there was no other place for you to go, no person either. It was in the heat of the moment, you realised that you couldn’t hold it in anymore. You needed someone as a confidant. You closed your eyes, sitting in the bus, recalling everyone but came out blank. Not that you lacked reliable company but there was more than one valid ground to oust the thought of it.

With a head full of trouble, as you entered the university, wonwoo messaged you to meet up. For him, your class was still in progress so you decided to consider the offer.

You and wonwoo were friends or fwb to be precise, with a strong year history. However, that couldn’t eliminate the significance of the word friend. You could always rely on him, he himself had affirmed that occasionally, your trust in him being the foundation brick of the relationship. Maybe he could offer you the consolation you craved right now or maybe his embrace would make you forget it completely.

**************

You stumbled as a tap on the shoulder startled you, but it was only wonwoo.

“Finally! Don’t you miss me even a tiny bit!” he announced while hugging you tightly. “Let’s sit on the bench.”

He took off your bag, working on loosening the straps that were already annoying him.

“how many times do I have to tell you! Wear the bag on one side , don’t tighten them or better,just quit wearing these tops baby” he nagged , looking at you but your eyes were fixated on the trees ahead. the uncertain look on your bare face was making him a bit uneasy. In addition, you did not throw killer eyes at him for calling you baby. And you looked sober. Something was definitely off.

“What’s wrong y/n. you look tired. I mean you are a forever grandma but seriously! Tell me what’s bothering you?” hearing the sincerity in his voice, you faced him, his signature honest smile releasing the tension in your body.

Facing him properly, you put the bag behind you. He was still grinning stupidly. You briefly glanced at him, brain continuously yelling to fuck taeyong’s deal and just tell him everything. Nothing was holding you back now.

Before you could utter anything, the layer of leaves on wonwoo’s head drew your attention. You reached out to remove them, but he caught your hand midway. His hand covered yours entirely as he started placing little kisses on the inside, lips travelling from the palms to the fingers and there he stopped abruptly, a squeal left his mouth at the metal touch.

“A ring. Wow. So, the great y/n knows that the shoes aren’t the only thing available in shops!” he exclaimed, chuckling loudly.

You tried to pull your hand but he did not let go. He observed it closely with a frown settling upon the previous happy face. You yanked your hand again forcibly, this time he complied.

“I have something to tell you.” You mumbled softly.

“it’s a diamond y/n.” his statement took you off guard.

“I have something important to discuss woo.”

“ it’s a diamond ring y/n!” he repeated with a lot more emphasis, voice still polite. But you got exactly what he was hinting at.

“would you hear me out. Please!” instead of denying, you tried to negotiate.

“no. first answer me. From whom did you accept it? Yugyeom? Jungkook? Minnie?”

You were left stunned at his sudden accusatory tone.

“fucking do me a favour and shut up for a sec woo!” this time your words were laced with frustration.

“oh wow” he scoffed before continuing, “ what are you here for! To inform me that you have finally found someone to settle down!”

“what! No! Why are you dramatizing so much over a bloody ring! I need you to use your ears and not mouth! For once please.” Your anger got the best of you as you yelled at him. He stood up, shielding you from the sunrays.

“you can’t possibly explain anything! I just don’t wanna talk right now.” And with that he walked away before you could give him the justification he deserved.

********************

you woke up around 1 p.m. in the library, exactly same place where you decided to sleep away your troubles, like always. After stretching your arms, you activated the phone which has been switched off earlier. As you watched the screen coming alive, wonwoo’s conversation made way to your now empty head. You weren’t so sure anymore that he could be trusted with any restrictive information. If you expose him to all what has happened, you’d be doing more harm than good. Love makes one foolish. And you’d rather die by blocking yourself than have him face the outcome.

Did that mean you loved him?

no. you shook your head at the thought. Love is a strong feeling. Especially the one he had showed you all this time.

Yes. You did love him. A lot. Just not in the way he did. But at this rate, you couldn’t say you if you deserved his love.

Multiple beeps broke out your train of thoughts. You were sure everyone was finding the culprit of breach of silence in the library. So you duck yourself into the desk to hide.

7 calls from johnny. 2 from minjun. 4 messages from johnny.

You nibbled on your bottom lip, opening the messages.

Johnny : did you reach safely!

Johnny : hey, pick up the phone.

Johnny : for once

Johnny : nobody ignores the john don. Don’t break my streak and call me back. Today! Or else I’m coming home. Make sure the dinner is ready!!!!!!!!!!!

Simply rolling your eyes, you recklessly threw the phone back in the bag, walking for the international relations section to get some work done. The second best distraction in life – research.

***********

The day was a complete loss.You didn’t study, pretended half day that you were finding a topic in the library but ended up reading animal farm again. Now you were home and with god’s grace, yuta was not back yet. Tossing the bag on bed, you changed down to cotton shorts and a tank top, ready to make a sandwich to eat as a starter before attacking the icecream you got earlier.

Big T.V, sandwich, ice cream, itaewon class, everything sans yuta was worth living these days. So enjoy it while it lasts. You slouched more into the couches as gaho’s start over played, the melodious voice slowing fading your bitter day.

******************

Yuta was just ready to sleep when he came back home. The idea of three hour training session after a week gap was certainly a crazy one but he realised it only when the deed was done. Now he badly wanted to go into hibernation mode.

Crossing the hallway, he saw the t.v playing gangnam style but noone was there except a white comforter. Upon inspection, he found you sleeping peacefully on your stomach curled up into a ball. He made a few sounds of displeasure at your figure before turning the device off. He was about to leave when something else caught his eye. Green tea ice cream.

He picked up the sealed cup, it was not fully frozen but still chilled enough. Maybe due to the air con. But he was happy. Now he could eat or drink his favourite ice cream and blow a fuse simultaneously. Ofcourse yours! He placed an envelope on the table and went away with the ice cream while not putting the lights out, that too intentionally ofcourse.

*****************************

Tuesday

Awakened by the rooster, you found yourself in the same position as yesterday. The cramp in the neck was now past the pain stage. It was numb to the point that sleeping on other side won’t help either. Supporting the neck with your palm, you started collecting the mess you had made on the table. Remote , plates, empty ice cream cup, the plastic spoon.

Weren’t there two cups???

Or maybe you just slept too much.

You came back from the kitchen to discover an envelope. A dL enevelope specifically.

Nakamoto y/n

-nonghyup financial group.            

It was addressed to you! .But you didn’t receive anything of that sort the other day so that meant it definitely involved yuta. And it was from a bank. You didn’t even have an account in that bank.

Nakamoto y/n my ass. You muttered bitterly before opening it. There were some promotional coupons, a small guide on how to open an account. You scoffed at the unnecessary stuff that was giving away nothing. Then you saw it.

A MasterCard. With your name. new name!

You gave the package a once over before closing it again, putting it in the original position. You were fully capable to survive on your own, there was no need for taeyong or yuta’s mercy when it was essentially to fulfil their own feeble ego. It felt like a kick to your noble gut!

Ignoring it completely, you went to wash up hurriedly so you could get out of his hair before he could attempt to spoil your mood any further. When you came back, a very unfamiliar sight astounded you. A man with deep blue suit stood in the kitchen with his back to you and if it was not for his blonde hair, he could easily be mistook for some gentleman. Due to the light blending sound of the juicer, he had missed your incoming. As you passed the sink to get to fridge, dirty dishes caught your eyes that he still hadn’t washed. You were not going to put your hands in his mud and before he could order,you told him off.

“ clean after yourself before leaving or it’ll stink in here.” You quietly said as you washed the oranges for breakfast.

“whaattt?” he asked like you were speaking some gibberish.

“I said clean these dirty dishes”

“Says who!” he raised a brow at you. “the one who was sleeping in the trash herself!”

“what trash? Oh! That was just a plate. And worry about yourself, I know how to wash mine!” you replied continuing the peeling.

“huh! Don’t boss me around. あなたは私の母ではありません!” before you could ask him what he muttered, he threw something on the pile. You slightly winced at the clatter but didn’t turn around and let him leave.

You examined the mess. The noise producer was a glass. The juicer was also filled with vegetable residues. One could only hope that he would take up your suggestion or you would be banning yourself from the kitchen, for ever!

You were peeling the second orange when he came out of his room and rushed out like his tail was on fire. A frustrated sigh left you as you took in the state he left the kitchen in but you were not going to be his maid. If he wanna eat, he could do it himself.

After breakfast, you did some finals revision which were approaching in three weeks but not like you were not prepared. All the papers were submitted, just the thesis topic submission was left which everyone else was already done with. Even jungkook. But you were instead going to use the day to make up with chelin.

******************

The day went as fine as it could. Chelin agreed to go shopping with you but it took more than just a takeout to sincerely apologise this time. She denied you half day, making you race for her forgiveness but eventually gave in at the end, with terms and conditions of course.  

You studied till late night but didn’t hear yuta returning. But the next morning you knew that he didn’t arrive at all. And in exasperation and for your own well being, you cleaned the sink to remove the stench. As much as you wanted to call taeyong, he won’t be helping you in anyway, that you were sure about. He pretended to take your side but at the end he was always yuta’s brother. And you were just a nobody.

*******************

Wednesday 3:43

 Johnny: where are you? Answer me asap.

  You : I’m studying. Don’t disturb me!

Johnny: sure. Don’t show me tantrums and come out. i’m waiting

You : waeyoo??

You groaned at the message. Avoiding him was no more an option!

You : where are you? I’m already on the pavement.

You looked around for a tall figure but he was nowhere to be seen.

“you are alive!” johnny jested, turning you with your shoulders to face him. He was clad in off white button down and white pants, making your worn out self feel like a beggar.

“you tracked me again?”

“woahh! You hit my generosity with a shit face! Expected better from you.”

“ did. You. track. Me .johnny!”

“you started it by not replying. I was worried!” he defended himself a bit comically.

“I swear I’m going to drown this bracelet in a sewage!” you bellowed while getting out of his grip.

“you know you can’t do that and it’s waterproof and maybe gutterproof as well so think harder about throwing it. Hyuck would find it eventually and make you wear the same piece!.”

Scrunching your nose in disgust, you muttered a curse at him which only earned a chuckle from him.

“why are you here anyway.”

“for shopping.”

“what shopping?”

“clothes! Duh. You have a celebration to attend!”

You scoffed at his casual tone. “ what celebration johnny. I’m not doing another shit on taeyong’s order.” You declared, hands crossed on chest.

“it’s not something grand. Just a small get together of office workers and you know you can’t ditch tae.”

“office event! That’s another reason to avoid it. I would be alone with yuta and If you don’t know already, he literally pulls his knife at me everytime he sees me! He’ll k-

“I’ll be there.”

“oh so now this is an office event with family members! Good luck convincing me this time!”

“who said anything about attending as family.” He said, winking at you and dragged you by right arm towards his car. Once you were seated, you stopped him from going further.

“nope. Listen. Lemme think first , then I’ll decide what to wear on my own. If you have time, just drop me home. I’m hungry and I have some work to do.” You tiredly said, dropping your head on the seat. He could only chuckled at your antics.

“then we’ll eat something before shopping and I’m not hearing another word. Fasten your seatbelt lady, we are going on a highway to shopping!” you laughed at his cute shout and he took it as a signal to drive.

After insisting johnny that you were going to pay for your own dress, you both stopped at the mall food court to eat something. A full tummy rotated your mood 180 degrees and you were ready to have him pull you around. He dragged you from store to store to only end up doing window shopping until he found THE ONE! That was what he declared it to be!

You both went around different aisles to pick some clothes. Though you could afford those, you still didn’t had the heart to do so. Your precious money was going for what! Clothes?

After something like twenty minutes, you both met near the changing room as decided.

“Go change and give me a show. I don’t trust your old school brain.”

You huffed but did as he said.

He has gotten mixture of bright colours and soft shades, sleeveless and thin strapped, long dresses!

And the one you chose were south to his north. You wore one that you picked at first, a solid black knee length flowy skirt dress with long sleeves. It looked good on all the right places, so you went out to show him.

“how’s this?” you asked him excitedly but the mood died down seeing his dull expression.

“no! you ain’t wearing anything this short!”

“Knee length is not short johnny”

“change it!”

“uugghh!”

The next dress you wore was ivory draped puff long sleeve mini dress. You almost cooed at yourself but he rejected it again. at every dress you chose, he shook his head in disagreement.

“why don’t you try mine ones?” he quipped.

“um. I don’t wear sleeveless.soo..

“why? Those looks sexy girl!”

“no! get me anything quarter or long sleeved but not these thin straps and no questions coz I’m not answering any!” the questions in johnny’s head died down before he could even form them.

“okkk. No need to bite me over that. Wait lemme find something.”

You stood in the changing room for what felt like eternity when johnny finally called you out with his nosy loud voice.

“these!” he handed you two dresses and signalled to change.

“why are we hustling so much. It’s not like anyone’s gonna bother!” you said in a bored tone, feeling the heaviness of the dresses.

“just go already. I’m getting hungry again!”

Both of his dresses were beautiful. All the previous ones looked quite dull in comparison. And just by looking, you already knew what you wanted. as you took in your appearance after changing, a smile lit up on your face. It was a powder blue dress with golden embroidery. The plunging neckline with fitted waist accentuated your best features though it would only properly fit when you were not bloated from eating. Sheer elbow length sleeves with gold hid what you wanted to in the first place, so they were alright. The satin skirt was long , resting right against your legs, not too flowy but you could already imagine yourself in your black heels that would be hidden under the skirt ,yet complementing it perfectly.

you presented yourself in front of johnny.“I want this one.” You said, tightening your hair tie. he wordlessly walked towards you and removed it, setting your straight hair on your back instead.

“how do I look?” you questioned hopefully. His face adorned a very light smile but it still reached his eyes. He moved backwards and examined your form , pretending to be evaluating you with hands tucked in his pockets.

“you look like-” he paused before biting his lower lip as if finding something peculiar to say. “a woman.” He completed, gaze still fixed on your eyes.

“what! A woman. That’s all!! you are just like- just like yeong! Ugh” you stomped your feet before going back to change into original jeans. You were expecting some high quality comment but nevermind.

After you were gone, johnny couldn’t control his laughter. He knew his compliment was lame , heck it wasn’t even a proper compliment but he meant it. And it was not for the dress you wore but for the smile that he saw for the first time. He sighed before he saw you approaching.

“I’m also hungry. Let’s get takeout. Devil won’t be home. We can peacefully eat without interference.”

Johnny chuckled again before following you.

“hey, isn’t this one a bit expensive.” He enquired as the other dress was a bit cheaper.

“I don’t care. I’ll think of this as a long term investment.”

“how?”

“I’ll repeat it at your wedding!”

******************************

Your stomach growled loudly as you opened the door. Johnny tailed behind you with arms full of food and clothing bags. He went to kitchen as you proceeded to find your shorts, dying to get out of the hellishly tight jeans. Holding your hair in a low loose ponytail, you exited the bathroom only to find johnny standing there like a pole.

“what?”

“what! I gotta pee. Get out!” he pulled you out while entering himself.  You returned to the kitchen mumbling incoherently at johnny and opened the take out boxes. As you made your way for the couches, johnny shouted at you.

“you animal!”

“what? Did you call me?”

“you need to heat it first. I’m not gonna eat like an animal!”

You felt slightly unnerved when he extended his hand to carry them to the kitchen again. in no way you were going to stand near it so you transferred the boxes and made your way to the room.

“heat them. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“no wait! why are you always running?” he placed the boxes on counter in a swift motion and rushed for your door.

“why are you hiding now?” he asked knocking lightly, not sure if it was locked or just shut down.

“don’t you have food to heat?”

“oh so that’s your way of running from chores!” he dragged out the last words mockingly.

“no its not like that.” Your said in a small voice. “I’ve an irrational fear of beeps. So I can’t go near the microwave.” You mumbled, voice filled with embarrasement. You weren’t sure why you told him but the bullet was out now.

Johnny went quiet before opening the door to find you standing, head hung low. Taking your arm, he pulled you out of the room.

Now you were standing in front of the oven, scared if he was going to run a test on you. You tried to back away but he was quick in caging you with his long ass arms.

“here,” his finger pointed to a certain button, “this is a mute button. You can shut this damn thing dude. Were you living under a rock or something?” he screeched at you in a high pitched voice, making you wince. But you were stunned at the discovery and you were sure chelin was as illiterate as you were in this matter.

“is it also some expensive shit?”

“no dumbo. Most of these have a mute function. Either you were stupid or just unlucky to buy a wrong one. But what’s with the scare.” He asked with curiousness in his eyes.

You drew your eyes away, wishing he would let it go but his deep stare ultimately broke you.

“Umm old trauma,” you started , avoiding his eyes, “I was in the accident with my mama and dad.I don’t have vivid memories of it, the only thing I remember is the noise of ambulance, police, some shouting. Nothing more. When they took me to their hospital room ,maybe coz I was crying or something, they d-died in front of me. H-heart monitors. Beeping again. when first time mrs.park , my orphanage caretaker , took to me to kitchen to make me food, I screamed and lashed at her violently. A lot of teasing followed that incident, by the senior kids ofcourse. But its only limited to few things, I don’t get triggered by cars or music. And she never took me to kitchen after that, maybe that’s why I never overca-.” You faced him as you completed. “th-that’s the story.” Your voice came out as a harsh deep breath.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll keep my mouth shut from next time” He apologised, his hands sliding from the counter to your waist. “ I- let’s heat this. Your first time. I’ll show you how we use this high end gadget.” He suggested, lightening the atmosphere instantly.

“yeah. I’m very excited!” your words were cheerful but voice wasn’t. he gave you a full on tutorial like a salesman at which you nodded like a very compliant customer. Now you were waiting. Sometime while showing you, his arms had securely held you against the counter, comfortable smiles resting between you two. Johnny’s eyes scanned every feature of your face, in a gaze that was not very tricky to describe. Your own hands were resting on the counter, twitching under his scrutiny. You didn’t want to but couldn’t help thinking if he-

“Woah! What. Is. Happening?” yuta’s surprise entry alarmed you both as johnny levelled himself up, covering you from yuta’s inquisitive eyes.

“Nothing. you say? How was office.” Johnny inquired, immediately changing the subject.

“they love me. That’s enough for me. But what are you up to suh? He wiggled his brows, neck craning to indicate behind-the-scenes happenings.

“we-we went to shopping. And we were gonna eat now. You wanna join?

“shopping? What did you got? Condoms?” he whispered the last part with a devilish smile.

Johnny glared at yuta to which yuta answered with a tired look.

“enjoy yourself. it’s better that I sleep off whatever is gonna happen here. Just keep it low. I’m fucking exhausted and dead.” He retired saying it loudly enough for you to melt in humiliation but he didn’t know explicit comments won’t make you feel low in shame.

Johnny circled to face you after his departure, embarrassed eyes wandering all over the kitchen cabinets above your head.

“I’m not gonna touch it. get it out.” You motioned for the food that was burning in the heat, according to you.

“oh!”

You both went to couches to enjoy the food and talked for about 30 minutes more. It seemed like yuta was seriously out like a light. You laughed, ate, gossiped and when the session ended, he was well aware of your infatuation with certain kinds of drinks and you knew that hyuck was the stinkiest person on earth. All was well and he left, making you happy for the time being.

**********************

Friday

For the whole day, you were busy. Prof. kwang suddenly thought it was best to summon you to fill the absence of his assistant, adding fuel to misery. But you were able to function fully for you hadn’t  run into yuta in the last 24 hours. After completing the extra tutoring sessions, you finally arrived at the destination.

You ran out of the elevator as you were already late. Maybe beyond late. As your room keys jingled, a voice stopped you from turning the knob.

“you are late! We were supposed to be there at 7:30. Taeyong is gonna be pissed off at me now and all because of your shitty time sense.” He gritted his teeth,making you angry but when you turned around, you knew you had fucked up. He was fully ready in a black suit, hair swept back and all , like a gentleman but you didn’t get the time to admire him as the look in his eyes was literally enough to scare you.

“I’m a busy person. Just give me few minutes. I’ll be out.” You said quietly, not ready to start a verbal fight with a no-brain case.

“don’t do that.” he stopped you again from entering the room. “ take a shower first. You ain’t sitting in my car with that smell.”

You bit your lower lip to control the overwhelming urge to kick him in the balls for his hypocrisy and simply shut the door.

After a quick clean up, you changed into the blue dress, did some light makeup to hide the black holes under your eyes. Completing the look with red lip, you went out, bare handed.

Yuta was on the couch, playing some game when you saw him.

“aren’t we getting late or something?” you scoffed , standing in his vision. He sized you up as his pupils dilated. Not wanting to entertain him anymore, you treaded to find your heels. He joined you after a few minutes and within two minutes, you were out.

******************

As you entered the decorated hall, you knew johnny made the event sound more smaller than it was. How you were going to survive the long night was beyond your imagination. Every corner of the room was filled with people chatting away with each other. The more you looked, the more you felt like an outsider. no familiar figure met your sight. The anxiety started creeping in and that’s when you saw someone approach you.

“fashionably late yuta! Its understandable though. Look at y/n. she looks so pretty!” taeil exclaimed, wiggling his brows at you.

“hurry up would you?” yuta said in irritation.

“nope. You are still my employee so tongue in your mouth. now let’s announce your arrival first.”

You followed him like a cat, only stopping somewhere at the centre of the room. You noticed that taeil’s footstops gathered attention like none other.he glanced around before clearing his throat as an indication for everyone to quiet down.

“I don’t need to tell anyone why we are here! But formality is a trend in business and I shall follow it to my deathbed,” a combined laugh followed from everyone but it seemed like an inside joke for you. “yuta nakamoto, our dear employee got hitched in a very intimate ceremony and don’t worry even I wasn’t invited! But tradition continues and here were are gathered to celebrate their happiness. He would be gone soon again so it’d be nice if you all give your wishes and blessings for their future. And I’ll also introduce y/n to the family. She is nothing but a charming woman and i hope she ditches others to join our company one day!” a round of applause followed and taeil cleared the path for everyone.

One by one, people loomed towards you to congratulate in their own way. A hand snaked around your waist, startling you momentarily. “just smile.” His whispered into your hair. You nodded before putting on the biggest smile possible for a person stucked in your position. A few stolen glances at him showed that he was also flashing a bright smile as he shook several hands. Some asked your name, some were interested in your occupation whilst one was interested in knowing the jeweller of your ring. You couldn’t say taeyong so you just waved it off with few giggles. Millions questions were running through your head and there was noone to answer. The aroma of the food passing around in trays was not helping the grumbles coming from your empty stomach. Though you both moved to a corner, fellow employees were still taking turns to have the business and personal talk with your husband. He spewed words like he was the ultimate game, but you knew better just by the way his hold on your waist tightened at some particular questions.

You would’ve surely enjoyed his distress but you wanted nothing more than to eat a piece of cake that that just flew by you. luckily for you, a waiter halted at your stop. You grabbed a drink and hurriedly took a sip to soothe your nerves, all when yuta was staring like a hawk. He observed your nervousness right when you entered but it was heartbreaking for him to avoid poking fun at you.

He gulped his glass in one go, releasing a sigh of relief, as he saw taeyong and others approaching. kun, johnny, jaehyun were tailing behind but they seemed quite distant.

“hello mr. lee. We are glad to have you here.” Yuta formally shook taeyong’s hand, your face instinctively scrunched up at his behaviour.

“I see you married a very fine young woman.”taeyong also cajoled but in a very professional tone.

“you met her! She’s y/n. my partner in crime! Loveliest wife ever. But be careful, she’s a bit nosy.” He pointed his words towards you while keeping an arm around your shoulder. You simply rolled your eyes at him. You were about to threw his arm away when others approached you.

“If I wasn’t concerned about my repo here, I would have cooed at you y/n. I wanna pinch your cheeks so hard right now. Everyone thinks you both are so happy, but only I know how constipated you are from inside woman!”jaehyun laughed like he just shared a joke with you but not holding back, you just unleashed the exaggerated version of his laughter.

“oh jaehyun!” you started, slightly hitting your glass on his arm, “ not sure about a pinch, but I can surely punch your pretty face and guess what! I don’t have any repo to maintain. So its your responsibility that I don’t explode or else you won’t have anything to be concerned about anymore.” You finished letting out a fake giggle, but seemed like everyone but jaehyun found it funny as they were all laughing at the diss.

“atleast you think I’m pretty! No wait! it sounds all wrong!” he suddenly whined, encouraging everyone to laugh loudly at his state.

He was still being grumpy when an old man stopped near you, escorted by taeil making the uproar stop immediately. They all bowed at him and you followed suit. From the looks, he seemed in his 70s or maybe more.

“i love when young people find love. Who do you work for kiddo?” he lovingly asked you.

“I’m a masters student. Law specifically. I wish to join chois one day.”

“chois? I don’t like those leeches. You should try in qian mutlinationals. Kun have more opportunities and you can go international from there. He can give you a free ride till china, beyond that you can explore yourself!” as he finished his wise advice, you turned to kun in surprise. He nodded his head at you with a sheepish smile, confirming the words.

“sure, I’ll give it a thought.”

“and you nakamoto! I heard you were back last week but who would like to greet this old man who’s gonna die anyway.” He scoffed at him and you could sense the tone of friendliness in their interaction.

“you are the one to blame. You don’t get out of your house these days. And you don’t even care enough to visit us anymore.”

Now you were super confused.

“ohh! So she knows everything. When were you gonna tell me! When I had gotten diabetes with all the sweet talking.”as they all expressed their amusement, you were getting restless from all the unknown.

“I would love to hear your love story but I am extremely hungry. But y/n I have a work for you”, you nodded at his words, “ convince moon to remarry. I can’t watch him die like me, alone and unhappy. This manforce have failed so I expect a smart woman like you can find a way to do that. Please promise me, you’ll do it for this old man.” You were out of words but taeil made your work easy as he dragged him away.

“I think you’re drunk enough. Let’s worry about me while eating the delicious food.”

“only you can do it y/n!” and he was gone.

“you’ll get all answers so don’t worry. You look lovely by the way but I shall take my leave as I’m also very hungry.” Taeyong explained patting his stomach. Looked like everyone was getting food but you!

“y/n-ah! Not that shorts don’t suit you but dressing up just scaled up your beauty.” kun chimed in causing yuta to scoff. The way air was leaving his nose, it’d blow up anytime soon.

“johnny’s fashion sense is immaculate like always.” Johnny said, raising his collars.

“don’t blow your own trumpet. I was the one who chose it!”

“huh! What she chose were donkey dresses!”

“donkey! You need to change your dictionary.”

“respect. I’m a top level worker in lee financial corps.” He said smugly.

“so they just hire anyone wow!”

“not jus-

“stop you two! We are still here.” You glanced at kun and yuta, eyeing you both.

“I’m just hungry kun. I just had breakfast and coffee and nothing else.”

“then go and eat. I also need a breather from you!” yuta barked, playing with the empty glass.

It was your turn to snort now. But johnny linked his arm with you to take you away before the war could start. You ate as much as you wanted while questioning him,

“how can these employees have so much energy to spare. Don’t they work 9 to 5, then get time to attend a stupid party!”

“they were given half day off today.” He replied, munching the tofu.

“who was that old man?”

“that’s all part of a circle. You’ll complete it one day but I can’t tell u here so wait!”

“hmm. Then what about taeil? About remarrying him! And taeyong and kun’s companies. Dude that’s huge. How do you manage your syndicate.”

“stop! Cant you eat in silence woman. You’ll know when it’s your turn.”

“ok last one. How can yuta be an employee here when only thing he knows is to make juice or slice people!”

“we have his backup who does the actual work. Yuta takes cares of the investors and all. So he’s supposed to be anywhere but here. So it works out. And fyi he’s quite an eye candy here.”

“then go flirt with him! I ain’t in need of a poison candy.”

after gobbling all the starters, you conversed with him for about 20 minutes whilst enjoying your drinks. And he took you back to you designated seat for the night, right by yuta’s arm.

Earlier, you were being hoarded with guests, now it was your turn. It seemed like you were yuta’s assistant who was taking mini business reports from employees. By now you had no doubt that yuta was nothing but a chameleon, well versed in hiding his true self to blend in the corporate environment. You smiled as much as you could, giggled when yuta laughed and turned towards you, gulped numerous kinds of drinks and now you were a bit tipsy or maybe just tired or both.

You were handling fine being yuta’s dear wifey until they announced that there was a dance. And the stupid couples already hurdled to the centre to show off their skills which you didn’t have in the first place. You heard yuta groan as he pinched his nose and that was his most agreeable expression he had from the whole night.

“let’s just flee after this” yuta suggested.

“hell no! my dancing skills can’t be exposed to these prim prom perfect people. I ain’t doing it.” You continuously shook your head at him, the enmity forgotten for a moment. But he had other plans.

“don’t you dare step on me. I’m gonna eat you alive if you holed my shoes!” he suddenly moved you to the pool of people dancing on the floor. He guided your hands on the right places and the position made you both well aware of the tension in each other’s bodies.

“just do what others are doing.” You craned your neck from side to side but got nothing.

“nobody is doing anything. They’re just stitched to each other!”

“exactly.” And without any warning, he pulled you into him, your grip on his shoulders tightening instantly.Standing chest to chest with him, you totally forgot the need to exhale. You didn’t dare move as he delicately swayed you from side to side, his eyes boring into yours. You wondered what conception were you both throwing at others. He was no pro like you but still managed to look like one.

It continued for few moments until jaehyun interrupted you.

“can I have her hand in dance” he asked yuta to which the man just released you. it was so sudden that you were taken aback by his sour mood but everything about yuta was sudden so you didn’t paid much attention when you had a mountain of trouble standing in front of you.

“may i?” jaehyun asked, bowing to you.

“no!”

“oh come on. I’m much better than yuta in dance.” He jerked your hand and next moment you knew, you were waltzing with him. He was doing what you call actual dancing.

“you looked so romantic with him and here I get the stink eye.” he sighed at you.

“because I am confined by the demand of this situation or else even you would be sporting a black eye by now!”

“I feel extremely hurt y/n. we are same age so shouldn’t we be getting along.”

“getting along my ass you son of nepotism.”

“that’s so unlady like behaviour. You should be accepting friendships when you are getting them. As said by a someone very famous, life is fleeting and in your case, I won’t trust the lifecourse too much.”

“stop using instagram quotes on me. Read the context then put into application, jaehyun. Life is fleeting. Chances would be gone before you know it.”

“when was the last time you listened to someone without running your brain hmm?”

“the same day when you were taking a break from running your mouth.”

“you are a terrible dancer.”

“you aren’t any good either.”

“what was the name of the boy who gave you hickies?”

“you want classes from him?”

“nope. I’m more than better at my game. I just wanna confirm what is he? Blind or dickhead! Coz no sane man would come near your beasty at-

“I hope you love your shoes.”

“what!”

A gasp left him, face turning red as he shut his eyes tightly to contain the pain. you had stomped on his foot with your pencil heel and now he couldn’t do anything but mutter curses as he progressed slowly for the bar to sit. Yuta joined him soon only to fan the flames.

As the time passed , drowsiness took control over your senses. Dinner was being closed by now, but you were the hosts or were supposed to be , so there you stood by the door with same i-am-so-in-love-with-my-hubby and it-was-pleasure-to-meet-you grins plastered on your face. Yuta’s hands would be calloused by the amount of hand shaking he had done but not that you cared.

Goodbyes were sent to taeil and johnny as well and when you were about to leave, jaehyun and taeyong came over with some papers in their hands.

“y/n you forgot to sign these. This one is for the property situated in gangnam. I know I promised three in the same area but I changed my idea for bigger and better. This one’s is in Incheon and other is in busan, your hometown!” he recited as he showed you the stamped papers. You were not sure about taking anything from him so you refused.

“no taeyong. I’m good. I’ve my sources and I’ll be joining summer internship so I can fend for myself.” You reasoned.

“it’s part of the deal. Just sign, I mean well please.”

You felt everyone’s eyes on you as you tried to think harder about it.

“leave it taeyong. This tie is killing me so let’s just talk tomorrow.”yuta said, loosening his bow tie.

“It doesn’t concern you yuta and y/n its part of the promise. Do it or I’ll have to force.” Your jaw clenched at his desperate tone. so you snatched the pen , ready to do as he demanded.

“where do I have to sign!”

“here!” he pointed out on the first file. “and y/n y/l/n nakamoto!”

You nodded without glancing at him and signed on all the three files, making it official.

Taeyong flashed you a smile as you returned him the pen, “I’m glad it worked fine. Now you must be tired so we’ll let you retire.”

You passed him without caring enough to reply. Soon enough , yuta joined you.

**************************

The passing trees and streetlights provided the comfort that you didn’t know you needed. It was sweet, the feeling of being alone yet not letting others feel the same. you were trying to count the number of streetlights as you passed speedily.

“aren’t you smart enough to know why taeyong took your signatures tonight?” yuta broke the silence. he took a sharp cut as you lost your count. Not receiving an answer, he spoke again, calmly, “ those properties were on earlier registered on taeyong’s name and that busan one is mine. Taeyong is sharp witted man  you should’ve been careful before giving in to him.”

“what are you trying to say!”

“everything’s flying through your head right! To put it simply, you are part of mafia now.” Your head snapped towards him in utter shock as words left his mouth, “ if you try to rant us or steal any info to give away, upon background checkout , you’d be found equally involved in the illegal activities of neos for when if it is proved that me or taeyong are part of underground, our properties would be sealed , stamping your future with them. You won’t even escape income tax department let alone cops! Those buildings are after all, result of our illegal income!” he stopped as he took another turn, not aware of how your eyes were glistening by now. “you can’t leave unless taeyong wants you to and pray if you would ever be able to! It was a surprise for all of us as well so you don’t need to feel betrayed at all. You, me, taeyong, johnny. The great black neos!” he finished as the car halted in the parking lot.

As soon as he unlocked, you ran out of it, tears rushing down nonstop. Elevator seemed too slow, the mirrors were making you more dizzy as it moved upwards. Everything came in flashes from the moment you passed by that alley. This was not the deal that you accepted! Regret and guilt filled you as the the lift opened. Throwing your shoes in the midway, you ran to your room as the tears turned into sobs, wrecking your whole body. Turning in the keys, you casted yourself onto the bed. With burning throat you passed out there.

And yuta stood outside your door, emotionless, in an attempt to envision how this would end for the both of you!

********************************************

yuta or johnny??? 

thank you so much for reading!

[kazmirone]

obikin rough draft fic excerpt (abo)

Here, have some tattooed omega!Obi-Wan. Someday I will fill it out and complete it. Maybe, lol.

Oh, and in case you didn’t catch it in the post title, this is A/B/O.  There’s nothing explicit in this excerpt, though.

*

It's not that Anakin's looking, alright.

But when Obi-Wan strips off his under-tunic after their lengthy sparring session, Anakin's attention is possibly a little bit more drawn to the movement than it should be.  

And it’s why he spots the mark on Obi-Wan’s flushed skin. The mark is palm-sized, a murky whorl of sooty, ashen color blossoming across his ribs too nicely to be a bruise.

"I didn’t know you had tattoos,” Anakin says, gesturing to the blooming color there.

Obi-Wan follows his hand movement and lifts up his arm to look at the space below it. “I - don’t.”

*

"Is it contagious?" Ahsoka asks, once Obi-Wan's returned from the Halls of Healing. "Because Rex said you can catch a fungus if you don't wear shoes in the showers."

“Ahsoka,” Anakin says.

“No, young one. I don’t think it’s contagious,” Obi-Wan patiently answers.

“Is it because you’re an omega?” Ahsoka asks.

“Ahsoka!” Anakin hisses.

“I shouldn’t think so,” Obi-Wan says, bemused, then draws a small datapad from his robes. “At any rate, Healer Che asked me to monitor the condition with daily stills.”

Anakin frowns, and he’s fixed on the tablet in Obi-Wan’s hand when the terrible, horrible offer just spills right out of his terrible, horrible mouth, “I could help you. Take the stills, I mean.  It’s in a weird spot, so it might be hard to get the angle right.”

Obi-Wan stares at him, and Ahsoka does, too, and this is how it starts.

Day 1

“No changes,” Anakin says.

Obi-Wan snorts, tugging his tunic back into place and taking the datapad from Anakin’s hands. “It’s been less than a day since the onset.”

He follows Obi-Wan out of the ‘fresher and into the small living space. It’s a lot neater these days, now that Anakin’s moved out and taken his mess with him. His scent, too.  

Now, Obi-Wan’s scent permeates every inch of the place, fresh and clean and undeniably omega. Something in him – a little ugly, a little primal – is urging him to leave his mark, run his hands over every surface and claim this place as his own, again.  

He doesn’t, of course.  Obi-Wan would pitch a fit. But if Anakin maybe smooths the tips of his fingers down the front door as he leaves, well, what’s the harm in that.

Day 4

Obi-Wan frowns. “Does it look darker to you?”

Anakin leans over his shoulder and peers down at the datapad in Obi-Wan’s hands, where a procession of images is pulled up on its screen.  He shrugs. “Not really?”

Day 9

“I’m not sure how to say this--” Anakin starts, watching from the door as Obi-Wan fold ups his tunic and sets it near the sink.

“Then you should just say it,” Obi-Wan says.

“--I think it’s spreading,” Anakin finishes.

Obi-Wan stills, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “Are you quite sure?”

Anakin brushes his elbow, directing him, and Obi-Wan lifts up his arm to a horizontal plane. The position, they’ve found, least distorts the shape of the mark. He regards it, the dark smudge on Obi-Wan’s pale, muscled flesh.  

Before, he could have covered it up entirely with his palm. Anakin holds his hand over the mark, not touching but close enough to feel whisper soft vellus hair when Obi-Wan pulls in a particularly deep breath.

Now, the cloud of black and gray has extended well past his fingertips, blossoming across the side of Obi-Wan’s ribcage, creeping towards the front of his body.

“Well?” Obi-Wan asks, above him.

Anakin straightens up. “It’s definitely spread.”

“And your method of measurement was what, your hand?” Obi-Wan asks, mildly.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Anakin shoots back. “Did you have a ruler laying around?”

Day 13

“You look terrible,” he says, breezing into Obi-Wan’s quarters.

Obi-Wan sighs, close behind him, and Anakin can feel the heat of it brush the back of his neck.

Day 14

“Oh,” Anakin says, when the door opens.  

The scent of oncoming heat is unmistakable, and it’s overpowering, and it hits him with enough force to send him shuffling back a step.

If Obi-Wan had looked terrible yesterday, he looks even worse today. There are deep shadows under his eyes, his hair limp across his brow, and his clothes are damp with sweat.

“It’s best we didn’t today,” Obi-Wan says, finally.

“Right,” Anakin says, voice rough like it’s been dragged over gravel. “Is - can I get you anything before I go?”

Obi-Wan smiles tightly. “No, thank you, Anakin.  I will see you in a few days.”

Anakin doesn’t even get the chance to say goodbye before the door is sliding shut in his face. It sends a billowing waft of something that feels like, well, like untouched, unmated, unprotected, into the hallway, and Anakin holds his breath while he walks away.

Day 15

Obi-Wan will be livid if he finds out, Anakin thinks, as he slips the glove off his right hand and steps up to the door, sometime in the dark, early hours of the morning.

He runs both hands – organic and prosthetic – over every surface of the door’s control panel. The transparisteel display screen, the durasteel plating, the rubber-padded plastoid buttons, even the sharp edges where the box itself is bracketed to the wall.

After he’s satisfied with the way his scent has shrouded the doorway, he pulls his glove back on and leaves.

Day 21

“Master Obi-Wan is here!”

Anakin rolls his shoulders to ease the achiness there. He’s been hunched over his mechnoarm for the last hour, at least, trying to reconnect a fragile strand of loose wiring.

“Having trouble?” Obi-Wan asks.

He glances up from the needle-nose pliers lodged in his wrist. Obi-Wan looks better, well-rested, he supposes, and a lot less…sweaty. “It’s fine,” he says. “Just give me a minute, then we can go do the thing.”

Obi-Wan takes the seat across from him, brow raised. “The thing?”

“The picture thing,” Anakin tacks on.

“About that,” Obi-Wan says. “I think we ought to do the thing, as you say, here, for the time being.  My quarters – well –”

“Your quarters, what?” Anakin asks. “Smell bad?”

“Yes, Anakin, my quarters smell bad.”

“I guarantee they don’t smell as bad as you think they do,” Anakin says, just to push him, just a bit.

Day 28

Obi-Wan touches little in their quarters and never stays long enough to leave much of a trace, but it must leave something. Ahsoka’s nose crinkles every time she walks through the door.

Day 32

“Well,” Anakin says, powering down the datapad and setting it on the cluttered sink. “I took five stills this time.  To get everything.”

Obi-Wan exhales. He moves away from Anakin, then, and reaches for his tunic. The movement twists and pulls at the grayscale whorls spiraling out over his side, down his abdomen, and his entire left pectoral.

Faint, fine lines and the lightest shading spill out across his skin around the edges of the marking, but it’ll be swallowed up by darker color soon enough, if this thing keeps up, keeps spreading.

As it stands, it’s a hair’s breadth away from the cleft of his spine, and Anakin watches the muscled flex of his back as Obi-Wan slides his tunic back over his head.

*

Anakin’s known from the start that Obi-Wan sends off the holostills to Master Che every day-cycle. What she does with them – or doesn’t do with them, since it’s not like she’s figured it out yet – really isn’t Anakin’s business.

So he is well aware he’s not the only one to see the monochrome tendrils creeping across Obi-Wan’s skin. And, he realizes in a numb but sudden sort of way, it bothers him utterly that there are others who do.

The feeling makes itself known when Anakin happens across Che and Jocasta Nu and Nu’s padawan in the library later that afternoon, grouped around a computer terminal, studying his still of Obi-Wan’s body.

“Exquisite,” Nu says, and her gnarled finger raises up to trace across the screen one of the swooping lines on Obi-Wan’s right oblique. “Simply exquisite.  I have never seen anything like it.”

Che sighs. “Nor have I. That is the problem.”

“I shall begin my research straight away, Vokara,” Nu says, resolved. “You will keep me apprised of any changes to Master Kenobi’s condition?”

“Of course. Thank you, Master Nu.”

The old librarian turns to her padawan, then. “And what do you make of this, boy?”

The boy shrugs, edging closer to the screen. “No clue. It’s pretty, though.”

Hidden away in the shadows of a towering bookstack, Anakin bites hard into the spongy flesh of his cheek, prosthetic knuckles whirring from the strain of his tightening fist.

Day 35

It’s been two weeks since Obi-Wan’s heat ended, more than enough time for the scent of it to air out and fade away.  Still, Anakin leaves Obi-Wan’s quarters with the urge to claw out of his own skin.

Day 40

“Knight Skywalker.”

“Master Che,” he replies, scowling at her retreating back as the healer glides down the hall and out of sight.

“There’s been a development,” Obi-Wan says.

Anakin meets Obi-Wan’s flinty blue gaze. “I’m guessing it’s not a good one, then.”

Day 42

The markings on Obi-Wan’s legs are even more remarkable the third day he sees them.  

A couple days ago, the lines had been faint, like the lightest press of graphite on a piece of flimsi. The markings had barely shown up in the stills he’d taken, and he’d had to mess with the datapad settings before Obi-Wan had sent them off to Master Che.

Today, though.

Today, the lines are the deepest shade of black, heavy and wide. They curve in on one another, then cleave apart, and splinter off into webs of thinner, still defined lines. From the curl of Obi-Wan’s toes to the knobby bones of his ankles and kneecaps, all the way up to the mid-center of his thighs, he is covered.

It’s so unlike the chaotic, celestial explosions swallowing up the surfaces of his torso and back. There’s a pattern here in these new markings, maze-like in their design.  They’re mirror images, or pretty damn close, on Obi-Wan’s right and left legs.

“And this all appeared overnight?” Anakin asks, a little breathless.

“Essentially,” Obi-Wan says, eventually. “Are we finished?”

Obi-Wan shifts where he’s prone on the couch, and the hard muscles in his calves flutter and bulge, just a fraction of a second, really, but Anakin notices, crouched at Obi-Wan’s side and entirely too close.

Anakin’s brain stutters for a moment. “What?”

“The pictures, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says. “Are we done?”

“Oh.” Anakin looks down at the glowing datapad, lax in his grip.

[beeexx]

A meet the family moment that goes both very good and of course bad. Part 1/2

You can read it on my ao3 here too as well and read some of my thoughts at the bottom of that page.  Part 2 will be out shortly, but until then, here is part 1, happy fluffy and funny, next part is less so. 

Enjoy -------- TK is planning to spend most of his day doing nothing other than lay on Carlos’ couch, or at least until he comes back from his shift and they can do something together. This morning, like the responsible and horny person that he is, he even made sure to put the alarm on for 30 minutes earlier than they normally would so they could engage in a hot makeout session before Carlos had to leave for work. Those 30 minutes were definitely taken advantage of so to say, so much so that Carlos barely had the time to eat breakfast before he had to leave, 

and not before he almost puts his head through the wall by trying to put on his pants while he was brushing his teeth at the same time.

The memory makes TK smile though as he lies down on the couch, freshly showered and with a coffee in hand, content and at ease, when the doorbell rings interrupting his wandering thoughts.

“Awww.” He says, frowning at the interruption but gets up wondering who’s ringing the bell at this hour of the morning.

The answer becomes obvious when he opens the door and comes face to face with three women who are all waiting impatiently, all of them with the same brown eyes as Carlos and dark skin.

Oh shit.

“Erm, h-hey.” He stutters out, awkwardly. 

“Hello, is Carlos in?” One of the women says, the second oldest one, with a stylish outfit and long curly hair, making TK glaringly stand out in comparison to her with his oversized jumper that is Carlos and an old pair of sweatpants. 

“Eh no he changed his shifts around so he could take tomorrow off.” to spend it with me TK leaves out. 

“Of course my idiot brother would forget to tell us he did that.” The youngest one mutters.

Because yes, there is no mystery to whom these 4 women are that TK has stumbled upon this Friday morning on Carlos’ doorstep. His three sisters and mother are clearly waiting for him to say something and TK honestly feels like he’s about to freeze up on them on the doorstep, or close the door in their faces and run away. It could be either of the two, he hasn’t made up his mind yet which it is. 

“You want to come inside?” He asks though because it’s somewhat important that he makes a good impression on these people, even though he’s wearing more clothes that belong to Carlos than to him and his hair is wet and clinging to his face, and he’s in no way prepared for this. He’s immensely relieved he took a shower though. Smelling like sex and Carlos’ deodorant in front of his mother, who frankly looks terrifying, would have been disastrous. He steps aside and lets them in as they all mutter in agreement. 

TK feels his stomach drop as he takes in the state of the apartment which is in less than ideal condition. Yesterday’s dishes are still in the sink, and TK wants to die because that is definitely a pair of Carlos’ underwear lying on the floor just outside his bedroom.

Ugh.

“So, you must be the New Yorker?” The middle sister says. She’s wearing workout clothes, looking very different to the oldest sister but still manages to look immaculately put together and very pretty. The gene game is strong within the Reyes family and it’s a little unfair TK thinks. 

“Eh yes TK. Nice to meet you.” He extends his hand in politeness and they all shake it. Elena is the oldest sister, then it’s Andrea, Carlos and the youngest one whose name he at least knows is Beatrice. They all look at him with mischief in their eyes, reminding him so much of Carlos it’s a little disconcerting and it makes TK want to die a little bit. When it’s time to shake Gabriela’s hand she looks him over and TK feels like she sees right through him, straight to the core, like there is nothing he can hide from her. He gulps nervously.

“You are a skinny young man.” She points out and TK stutters.

Beatrice rolls her eyes and he runs a hand through his wet hair nervously, not liking how studied he feels by her.

“Yeah, I was in an accident recently, so I’m getting back into it.” After the coma and his time off work he has gotten a little skinny yes but he’s trying really hard to put the weight back on that he lost even though it’s proving to be a little bit more difficult than what he originally thought it would be. But he’s definitely getting there, or that’s what his doctor is saying at least. It doesn’t help though that he has a ridiculously fit boyfriend either who he has trouble working out with because he keeps getting distracted by him and how hot he looks when he’s sweaty, it’s not unusual that when they are working out together, is interrupted for other things instead, which in TK’s defence, still revolves around losing calories. Gabriela’s eyebrow shoots upwards and TK wonders if Carlos’ family knows any of the details of what happened to him.

“I got shot.”

“What?” Elena asks and Beatrice lets out an “Oooooo” sound and looks at him with morbid fascination.

“An accident at work and then during the solar storm I engaged in some activities not appropriate for someone recovering from a gunshot wound.”

He realises too late how that sounds and if Andrea and Elena’s laughter and Carlos’ mother frown is anything to go by he’s completely messed that up. He blushes.

“No, no, I mean I saved a woman from drowning from inside a bus and had to lift up some rubble to get to her. Not something the hospital was too happy about.” TK winces again because now it sounds like he’s bragging instead. Ugh.

“Oh damn.” Beatrice says.

“You’re a fireman, did I get that right?” Elena asks and TK nods.

“Yeah, on leave now though but yes.”

“Are you doing any exercises for your injury?” Andrea asks and it takes TK’s brain a moment to catch up before he remembers that Andrea is a physiotherapist.

“Yeah some I got from the hospital.”

“Well the clinic I work at is pretty good if I may say so myself, so you want me to hook you up, I got you. I’ll make sure you see someone that’s not me.”

“Oh, thanks.” He says as she smirks confidentiality at his obvious nerves. 

“Is there any food in here?” Beatrice interrupts and walks into the kitchen, her mother following close behind inspecting each of the surfaces in what TK thinks is 20/20 vision. Bea opens the fridge and wrinkles her nose in distatate as TK rubs at his neck awkwardly. Elena joins them and they all seem to dissect Carlos’ kitchen inch by inch, judging him by the lack of food and messiness which cannot be blamed on anyone other than TK. He feels a strange need to defend Carlos and tell them it’s his fault which makes no sense at all as that would make his family possibly dislike him more than they already might. 

“Salted caramel popcorn? Since when does Carlos eat these?” Elena asks and holds the bag up. Beatrice grabs it aggressively out of her hand and pops one in her mouth.

“Those are mine.” TK says, his embarrassment growing with each second.

“They’re not as bad as you’d think.” Beatrice says and pops another one into her mouth.

“Ah, that explains it.” Elena says and gives TK a cheeky smile before she reproachfully rips the bag back from Beatrice and puts it back into the cupboard. 

“TK, are you hungry? From the state of this kitchen my son seems to be feeding you badly.” Gabriela says, her eyes sparkling and TK stutters again, so completely overwhelmed by all these women he doesn’t know how to handle being under the sudden attention. If there’s one thing TK lacks in his life it’s interactions with strong women, as the only reference he really has is his mother and she had left and not stuck around for too long so he’s not sure it counts. Not that he tends to be insecure around people in general, but this is Carlos’ family and they are going so steady at the moment that he needs to be liked. 

“He’s a much better cook than I am so he feeds me pretty well ma’am.” Beatrice laughs out loud and Elena and Andrea seem to struggle with holding back laughter too. Gabriela chuckles, but it’s not in a mean way at least. 

“Something my son took with him when he moved out.” She gives Elena and Andrea pointed looks.

“Hey, I cook just fine.”

“I’m a firm believer that all the men I date should cook for me. I’m not conforming to any gender roles mami.” Andrea finishes, much louder than Elena. Beatrice, now laying on the couch rolls her eyes harder than ever before. TK hasn’t met the Reyes family before, but he’s heard enough about them to be able to puzzle some pieces together. Elena is the high achieving one with good grades and borders on being a perfectionist, Elena is the gentle and kind one and Beatrice is the youngest one, sarcastic and moody a lot of the times but strangely enough the one Carlos seems to be getting along the best with. He adores her and according to him Bea’s sarcastic side is kept to a minimum around him which annoys the hell out of the older sisters as they have never quite been able to connect quite the same with her. If TK is going to be honest, it doesn’t surprise him that someone like Carlos has managed to melt Bea’s hard exterior, he’s impossible not to like, he has a way with people which makes him both a good cop, an excellent boyfriend and all around amazing person to have in your life.

“Just talk and talk and talk from you two. TK, I will cook for you and then when my forgetful son comes home I will make sure he has enough leftovers to feed you for a while.”

“Oh, thank you ma’am, that’s very kind of you.”

This time Gabriela rolls her eyes.

“Please, Mrs. Reyes or Gabriela works just fine.”

“You’re a polite one, aaww.” Andrea cooes and TK blushes. He really isn’t used to being surrounded by so many women all at once it’s completely throwing him off his game. 

“More stylish too than the last one, please get my brother into something that’s a bit better than those clothes he insists on wearing.” Elena adds, but it’s a joke TK can tell. At the same time it doesn’t surprise him that it comes from her either, she seems, out of all the siblings to be the most put together, her clothes extremely fashionable and complimentary of her figure. Andrea is in what seems to be her working clothes, and TK knows she and Carlos tend to work out together and Beatrice is in high waisted mom jeans and a cute crop top, definitely giving off student vibes in that outfit. It’s interesting in a way that all siblings in outer appearance seem to be very different from each other, something that is new to TK, who grew up alone. 

But he just smiles and doesn’t comment on the fact that he prefers Carlos without his clothes on anyway and it doesn’t matter what he wears because he would look good literally wearing a plastic bag.

“I’m just going to get changed.” He announces and before he can wait for their replies he hurries into Carlos’ room, making sure to grab the boxers off the floor and not to slam the door shut too loudly, because that would be too embarrassing. He leans against the door and revels in the silence and privacy of the room. He really isn’t ready for this. Meeting Carlos' family seemed to be something he’d do along the lines of dating for 3 months rather than a little over 3 weeks into their relationship. He is not prepared for this. In desperation he texts Carlos. 

-SOS 

The reply comes almost immediately.

-What’s happened?????

-Your mother and sisters are here. Help!!!!

-Oh shit, TK I’m sorry I forgot to tell them I moved my shifts around and we were supposed to meet up and cook together.

-Yeah no shit, I am dying here.

-I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s not that bad.

-Your mother scares me…..

Carlos sends laughing emojis his way before he types out another message.

-That’s latina women for you. Also I am the only son of a big family, ‘her baby needs to date someone worthy of him’ end quote.

-That’s not helping at all!!

-Well, just be yourself, it will charm them in no time, I’ll be home for lunch. Just entertain them with firemen stories and I’m sure you’ll be fine.

-’Just be yourself’ is the worst advice in the history of advice.

-Worked wonders on me, see you soon.

And that’s the key the conversation is over and it has not calmed TK down as much as he had hoped. It will likely be two more hours before Carlos is home and TK really has no choice other than to put his game face back on and go meet his fate with his head held high. 

He starts by getting dressed, in yesterday’s clothes unfortunately, but thanks the heavens he wore jeans at least and not sweatpants when he got here. He borrows some of Carlos’ deodorant and fixes his hair with some stuff he’s left on another weekend long stay. He looks better than he did earlier and that’s literally all he can do. He walks back out and braces himself for what’s to come. 

“Not that you didn’t look nice before but I can totally see why Carlos is into you.” Elena says teasingly and TK blushes. Even Beatrice looks at him with something that looks a little bit more like respect than before.

“Was it that bad before?” 

“No, no, no.” Elena and Andra reassures him and Gabriela looks reproachfully at her daughters who at least look a little sheepish from their mother’s intimidating eyes.

“Don’t mind them TK honey, would you come help me in the kitchen?” 

“Yeah sure of course, what can I do?” 

“You can shop the onions, smallish bits please.” She hands him a cutting board and a knife and he gets to work, this at least being something he can do without failing too hard.

“You three, get to work!”

TK hides his smile, Gabriela sounding eerily similar to when Carlos puts on his demanding police officer voice. Maybe he picked it up from his mother? Not that Carlos has anything on this woman though, she walks into a room, small as she is and demands respect and attention. TK envies that a little bit. 

“So do you have any siblings TK?” Gabriela asks as the kitchen fills with the sound of chopping, laughter, frying and honestly an all together wholesome feeling that only cooking can do, bringing people together, something TK is not too familiar with. As great as his dad is, cooking together at home was not an activity they used to do. 

“No, I’m an only child.”

“Ah.” She says and raises an eyebrow. “Parents still together?”

“No, they’ve been divorced for a long time now.”

“And what do they do?”

It’s feeling more and more like an interrogation to TK, except that Gabriela has soft features and seems to be driven by curiosity rather than to undo him and pull all his secrets out of him to use against him. It doesn’t mean that TK in this moment does have the urge to lie or escape from this room and he has to remind himself that not everyone in this world is out to hurt him, no matter how much it feels like it sometimes. Carlos has been nothing but kind and supportive even before they got official, there’s nothing saying that his mother is not exactly the same, kind and caring and sweet.

“My mother is a lawyer and lives in California at the moment so I see her every now and then and my dad is a firefighter too. Owen Strand the Captain over at the 126.”

“Oh, yeah I heard he ripped the whole place up.” Beatrice adds.

“It’s really nice though. I went to see Michelle a few months back and he’s really pulled it together.” Andrea adds, sounding deeply impressed and TK nods. 

“Yeah, natural light and nice showers do wonders for morale.”

“Is that your dad’s words?” Elena asks and TK nods.

“Yeah.”

“And you TK, have you always wanted to be a firefighter then?”

For some reason TK doesn’t think bringing up the doubts he’s had about the life he’s chosen is the best thing to do at this moment, so he settles for the reply he always goes with, which these days is pretty much the truth anyway.

“Yeah, always.” Gabriela smiles at that, kindly, and TK finds that even if she scares the living daylight out of him, she seems to be a pretty wonderful woman too. 

The Reyes seem to lay off him a little bit, focusing instead on talking to each other. TK finds that the sounds filling up the kitchen settles something inside of him. His life has never been like this, where people stop to spend time with one another, and enjoy the company of each other when they are at home. Not that he thinks his parents did a bad job, but being an only child in a busy family often made him feel lonely, and he didn’t grow up with a lot of home cooked meals that were made with love, so this, this is nice. 

When Carlos finally comes home for lunch TK isn’t dying as much as he was before, and he’s thankful for that.

“Ah, there is my forgetful son.” His mother chides him immediately when he steps inside.

“Sorry mami.” He says and kisses both of her cheeks, before he ruffles Beatrice’s hair who glares murderously at him and hugs his two older sisters. Lastly he walks up to TK and for a moment he seems to hesitate about what to do and it makes TK roll his eyes because while they tend to be pretty light on public affection outside of the house, his family is already aware that they are dating. TK raises up on his toes and places a kiss on Carlos’ cheek, Carlos’s hands coming to gently grab at his waist and making sure to give his sisters the finger while they ooo and aaaaww in the background. Carlos steps away and steals a piece of chicken that is cooking and his mother swats his hand away with a spatula chiding him in spanish.

“Is everything done or?”

“If you’re asking if you managed to miss all the chopping and cooking then yeah you did you sneaky bastard.” Elena says, sitting on the kitchen island by the cooling dulce de leche that she keeps stealing off when her mother isn’t looking in her direction. TK had a taste of it too earlier and it’s absolutely delicious so he doesn’t blame her. 

“Nope, that was not what I was asking.” Carlos says and pushes her off the now clean counter, she glares at him but doesn’t even try to push back at him, their size difference not to her advtange which Carlos knows. He sticks his tongue out cheekily and she mutters under her breath that she’ll get him back. TK hides is laugh, can’t help but be affected by the sibling rivalry they’re displaying. He likes seeing Carlos like this, teasing and funny and a little mean with his sisters, it’s so very unlike him on most days and it’s nice to see another side to him. 

“TK, will you help me set the table?” Gabriela asks.

“Yeah absolutely.”

“Carlos we need a bigger table, do you have the extensions still?” 

“Yep, come on.”

“As if you couldn’t carry them yourself?” Andrea rolls her eyes but starts walking to the back of the condo, Carlos following behind but not before he kisses his mother’s cheeks affectionately again. She says something to him in spanish that TK only catches the end of but he’s pretty sure it’s about him and judging by the look Carlos sends him it’s not bad.

When Carlos and Andrea come back TK and Gabriela have finished setting the table and even Bea has gotten off her phone to come peek interestingly at everything that is laid out before them. TK hasn’t seen this much delicious food in a long time and he already loves Carlos’ cooking, if he learnt from this woman it’s going to absolutely blow his mind. They sit down, Carlos beside him, with their mother at the end of the table and the rest of the sisters on the other side and TK lets the sound wash over him, enjoying how comfortable the family is around each other. He manages to escape the attention, but only for a while.

“Soooo, how did you meet then? Carlos has been vague about the details.” Elena of course asks after a while. TK shoots Carlos a look and he indicates for TK to talk.

“On the job actually, on my first call, a car accident.” Elena leans forward, clearly very interested and in the corner of his eye he can see Carlos shoot her a reproachful look.

“How romantic.” She comments and Carlos throws his napkin at her, Gabriela only needing to glare at them both for them to stop.

“Did he ask you out by the car accident?” Andrea wonders and it makes both TK and Carlos chuckle.

“Please, I have some manners and style, you should know this by now.”

“Do you though?”

“I do actually.”

“Okay, continue the story, shush Andrea.”

“Erm, well there isn't much of a story.” TK really doesn’t feel like getting into the whole drama caused by him because everything has been going so well, so if he was about to tell them how he had run out of a dinner with Carlos, gotten into a bar fight and then kind of been a dick for a couple of weeks by avoiding Carlos and then getting into the whole accident he would lose whatever standing he had with the Reyes family immediately.

“We hit some bumps in the beginning but it worked out in the end.” Carlos covers for him cryptically and if he hasn’t told his family about the mess TK essentially is, he must care a hell of a lot about him. TK feels his face heat and his heart beat faster and having a little bit of a breakdown or just the urge to drag Carlos away from his family and into the bedroom to kiss him stupid, then no one has to know. He swallows down a bit of tomato and tries not to think about it too closely, even though Carlos’ thigh keeps brushing up against his when he moves. He is going to ignore it and get through it.

“I’m glad to hear you’ve worked it out.” Gabriela adds smoothly and Carlos gives his mother a grateful look and then the conversation moves along to other things and TK ends up having a lovely but very intense day, one he will remember fondly for a long time.

………..

When the door closes TK sags in relief against the counter, allowing Carlos’ side to take half of the weight.

“That was intense.” He mutters, making Carlos chuckle as he puts his arms around him.

“That’s the Reyes for you.”

“I feel like I could sleep for a week.” TK tucks himself closer against Carlos’ side, nosing at his neck looking for affection. Carlos rolls his eyes fondly, but takes pity on his cute but bratty boyfriend and unexpectedly sweeps TK off his feet. TK lets out an indignant little shriek that he will definitely deny he ever made later on as Carlos puts him over his shoulder before he makes his way over to the bedroom. He puts TK down gently on the bed before he lies down too, mostly on top of TK and sighs in content. TK chuckles before he runs a hand through Carlos’ hair, sending a shiver down his spine. He noses at TK’s neck, and rests his head there, feeling his pulse point flutter underneath his lips. 

They lie in silence for a while, enjoying it after the hectic morning and day. 

“You want me to move?” Carlos asks. TK just shakes his head. Carlos knows TK likes to be pinned to the bed, sometimes definitely, sexually yes, but oftentimes it’s more about the sense of grounding it makes him feel when Carlos will cover him completely. Carlos could understand that and was often happy to comply with the request, even though in the beginning he was definitely worried about crushing TK. 

“Your family is something else.” TK says snapping Carlos out of his wandering thoughts. He chuckles in agreement. 

“They are.”

“I like it though, the noise, the laughter and banter, it was always so quiet being an only child, as well as it was lonely.”

Carlos hums and kisses TK softly on the neck.

“Yeah, our house was anything but for most of the time I grew up. The only time it was ever quiet was when something really bad happened.”

“Like?”

“When my abuela died it was horrible for a while.”

“Yeah that must have been rough.”

“It was… another time it was quiet was when Elena got arrested.”

“She got arrested? For what?”

“She smacked some old white lady up in a bar for being a racist.”

“Impressive.”

“Yeah, well it also got quiet when I came out.”

TK winces, Carlos feels it go through his whole body.

“Did they take it badly?”

“Not badly, but I’m the only boy in a family of three sisters, so it wasn’t great at first. But all my sisters rallied behind me and my parents both came around eventually. They just needed some time to sit with it all. But it’s fine now.”

TK strokes a hand down his back in silent support that Carlos appreciates. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry you had to go through it, even if it turned out alright.” TK whispers, and Carlos smiles sadly against his neck. He knows that in a perfect world he wouldn’t have had to worry about coming out to his parents, or to his co workers or to his friends. But this isn’t a perfect world so...

“Thanks.” He whispers back. TK hums and continues stroking his fingers through Carlos’ hair and down his back, the motion making Carlos melt against him. 

“Who knew cooking could be this nice.” TK says after a while and Carlos chuckles but can’t be bothered to lift his head, he’s way too comfortable.

“Should we make it a thing then? Instead of me cooking for you all the time we should start cooking together instead?” 

“Well, maybe not all the time, I would distract you way too much in the kitchen for you to get anything done.” He teases and Carlos agrees, kisses his throat gently a fews times before he lies down again. 

“True.”

“But maybe I will help from time to time.”

“I’d like that.” Carlos whispers.

“It was never like this for me growing up, loud and happy and people joining together to ask about the other person’s day. Or cooking for that matter. It’s nice, I’m happy you had it.”

Carlos knows some of TK’s past, not all of it but some of it, and he rarely pushes, just often lets TK come to his own conclusions about stuff. Well sometimes he pushes just a little but when it comes to talking about TK’s life before Texas he knows it’s a bad idea to approach it that way. And he knows TK has been making an effort too about being a little bit more forthcoming and he appreciates it endlessly. So it’s nice to hear him talk like this and Carlos waits it out, let’s TK get it off his chest.

“Thanks, it was nice, you can come to every family dinner from now and then maybe you’ll tire of it.”

“I don’t think I could tire of it, tire of you.” He whispers and Carlos lifts his head up, smiles goofily and brighly and TK rolls his eyes but makes a little indication he tends to do when he wants a kiss. It’s Carlos’ turn to roll his eyes but he leans forward and gently places one on top of TK’s nose, making him scrunch it up looking ridiculously cute. He chuckles but kisses him on the mouth next and TK hums happily into it.

………

Carlos must have fallen asleep, because when he blinks his eyes open he’s surprised to find it’s almost evening. His body is sleep warm and languid with TK still wrapped up around him. He yawns and lifts his head, coming face to face with TK who has a pillow crease on his cheek but green eyes alert and awake. 

“I wasn’t the only one who was tired then?” He teases and Carlos can’t be bothered to snark back and instead lays his head back down on TK’s shoulder before pressing his lips to his neck. TK sighs in contentment and Carlos repeats it, but a little more meaningfully, letting his lips linger before biting gently. TK squirms underneath him and Carlos chuckles against his skin before he moves further up. TK exhales shakily before he shifts, putting Carlos’ lower body a little closer to his crotch. Carlos helps out and puts himself in between TK’ legs, who eagerly grinds upwards, already half hard, making Carlos bite down on TK’s neck to prevent his own very loud moan from escaping from the friction. They had a go this morning before Carlos had to rush to work for his shift, it was fun but rushed and even so Carlos is pleasantly surprised that his body keeps having such a powerful and potent reaction to TK’s grinding against his dick. But with his appetite seemingly not diminishing anytime soon he isn’t exactly going to complain either, because they have been having a lot of sex recently, amazingly good sex, so if he is going to be able to get off 3-4 times a day then he definitely isn’t going to complain.

TK’s hand pulls at his hair as Carlos makes his way up towards his face, lips never living skin and watches goosebumps erupt all over TK’s body. TK, breathing unevenly by now, pulls at Carlos’ shirt impatiently and Carlos chuckles before he lets up and unceremoniously throws it off. TK sits up a little, gently places his hands around Carlos’ waist and places a trail of feather light kisses just above the waistline of Carlos’ jeans. Carlos bites at his lip, can think of a lot of other places he’d like for that mouth to be on before he pulls TK’s t-shirt off him and throws it in the direction of what he thinks is his own shirt and then gently pushes him down again. TK goes willingly, Carlos is well aware that if he wouldn’t have wanted that he would have let Carlos know, and so he puts his full weight down on top of him and kisses him hungrily.

Carlos and TK have during the weeks they have been together had a lot of talks about boundaries and consent, what is okay and what is not okay. It was different when they weren’t exactly official, but ever since then Carlos has had that nagging feeling in his head that it’s important he understands and gets to know exactly what TK likes and doesn’t. TK had scoffed at first and said everything was fine which Carlos had not believed for a second and he had spent a lot of time trying to show to an ever hesitant TK that he wasn’t going to walk out and leave TK just because he expressed a line of thought that didn’t always align with what Carlos thought or felt, and that included everything from bed related things to basically living together, which they basically already were, as the last time TK spent a night away from Carlos’ bed was over a week ago. Yes he was keeping count. There was a toothbrush that was TK’s in his bathroom, he had a packet of those sweet popcorn in his cupboard that he thought were disgusting and TK loved and a package of oat milk in his fridge for TK’s coffees, there was a pair of running trainers in his hallway and hair stuff on his counter that belonged to TK, so by all accounts, TK was living here more than he was living with his dad. They had somehow managed to take things both very slow and very fast at the same time but TK seemed happier than he had in a long time, Carlos had been told that in secret by Owen at the station one evening and Carlos had felt his heart flutter in utter joy to hear it.

TK grabs the back of his head, angles it so that the kiss deepens even more and Carlos thinks he would be a happy man just doing this forever. He moans when TK’s tongue traces his and TK snickers delightfully. He moves his mouth down to TK’s throat, leaves sloppy open mouthed kisses on exposed skin, feels TK grab the sheet and squirming underneath him and he doesn’t let up until he reaches his ear, sucks on his earlobe before he leans in close.

“Baby.” he whispers and TK groans. “What do you want?” When TK doesn’t answer he starts sucking on his earlobe again like a tease. “Baby, use your words.” He teases.

“Yeah, y-yeah. It’s very hard doing that when you’re doing what you’re doing.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He teases and starts to suck a hickey on his neck instead, just below where his shirt will hide it and TK moans, grabs at his hair again and pushes one of his legs up and around Carlos’ waist.

“Words baby.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, please fuck me.” TK finally says, sounding strained and breathing hard already. Carlos feels a thrill of excitement go through him and he kisses the small bruise on TK’s neck before he gently kisses TK on the mouth, smiling brightly at him.

“I thought you’d never ask.” TK rolls his eyes without heat and Carlos moves a little so he can reach the lube he keeps in one of the drawers. 

………

It’s hours later and they are both lounging around on the bed, still not having left the bedroom after the sex they had ages ago. TK’s in a pair of borrowed boxers, draped halfway across the bed on his front, giving Carlos a nice view of his ass, as he distractedly tries to read while TK looks to be playing candy crush. Carlos just rolls his eyes fondly and goes back to his page when TK’s stomach rumbles loudly in the comfortable silence. Carlos lifts an eyebrow looking at TK over the page while TK has a sheepish smile on his face. 

“Earlier activities make you hungry?”

“If I had an app that counted calories I’m sure it would say we burnt a lot from what we did.”

Carlos chuckles.

“True.” He agrees. “Well there are a lot of leftovers from earlier still in the fridge if that suits you?” He’s already getting up, not bothering to put on any other clothes than the boxers he’s wearing. He feels TK’s eyes trail his behind as he leaves the room for the kitchen his mother had thankfully forced them all to clean up afterwards. It’s feeling like a blessing at the moment. He heats some of the leftovers on two plates but before he makes it back TK comes and joins him, plastering himself against his back, placing a kiss on Carlos’ shoulder blade.

“Hi.” He laughs and TK hums.

“Did you get bored?”

“I was missing you too much.” TK admits and Carlos feels a thrill of joy rush through him, unable to help it. He turns around and puts his arms around TK and pulls him close, rests his head against his forehead and stays there for a moment, the world feeling completely still just then, narrowed down just to him and TK.

“I missed you too.” He whispers even though it’s cheesy but the brilliant smile he is rewarded by tells him TK feels it’s anything but. 

Carlos thinks about telling him right then and there. He’s so close to opening his mouth and blurting it out, but regrets it at the last minute and places a gentle and sweet kiss on TK’s mouth instead. 

Carlos knows he’s an idiot, knows it’s way too fucking soon to tell TK that he loves him, but he fucking does, he feels it in his whole body. But he really doesn’t think that TK is ready to hear it and while that doesn’t diminish what Carlos feels for him, it’s not the right time to tell him.

But he hopes that it’s soon, because while it might be foolish and rushed and stupid of him to feel that way about this beautful mess of human being, Carlos has always been one to fall fast and hard, it’s just who he is.

[lady-of-all-cards]

Ikemen Revolution: Headcanon - When the Red Army Officers Fall Ill

Fandom: Ikemen Revolution Characters: Lancelot Kingsley, Jonah Clemence, Edgar Bright, Kyle Ash, Zero Pairings: N/A Summary: One day, an officer falls ill with a terrible cold. Will they suffer through their work? Or hide away in their blankets until the sickness passes?

Notes: Did I depress you enough with the last two posts? Well here is a little fun happy times to forget that I did that, because I’m not that morbid or depressing (most of the time, anyway). So, I hope this cheers the blog up a little! And of course, I hope you enjoy ^-^

1. The King of Hearts - Lancelot Kingsley 

Lancelot is commonly ill due to his constant use of magic leading to his overexertion.

Kyle is also in on this little tidbit, so dealing with a sick Lancelot isn’t too much for him to do, especially if it’s a common cold.

But being the kind and protective man he is, Lancelot wouldn’t tell anyone of his cold as to not worry them, because this man is a considerate teddy bear!

However, our dear Gentle Demon, Edgar Bright, is far too attentive to detail, and over their early morning meeting, picks up on Lancelot’s drousiness and general unawareness of the situation around him.

Of course, to cause chaos as he usually does, he brings it up in the conversation.

Jonah goes into panic mode, fussing over Lancelot and trying to get him to, at the very least, tell them his aliments so they can help.

Zero steps forward silently and places a crimson lolipop in front of Lancelot on the desk, stepped back sheepishly.

Lancelot takes the lolipop, but doesn’t eat it.

Yet. He’ll sneak it later when Mr.Overprotective-Mother-Jonah isn’t around

Kyle finally decides to pipe up, urging Lancelot to take even an hour’s rest before continuing with his duties.

Lancelot, of course, denies that he needs that, and tries to continue the meeting they were having before.

But it’s four against one.

Jonah would back down with a single command.

Edgar would back down, but he would continously tease him about it for days to come.

Kyle wasn’t backing down. As his personal doctor, his duty was to ensure the king was in good health at every possible moment.

Zero wouldn’t back down either. He’d much rather be ill himself that see Lancelot struggling with any sickness.

And so, Lancelot is forced to yeild. Jonah and Edgar split his paperwork, supposedly an hour’s worth of it.

Zero takes up Jonah’s and Edgar’s duties in training their units.

Kyle drags Lancelot back to his room and settles him down to sleep, giving him cold medicine and painkillers.

However, when he wakes, he realises a number of things:

1. He wasn’t woken after an hour, but was left to rest for three.

2. The entirety of his paperwork for the entire day had been done by Jonah and Edgar in the hours he slept.

Although ashamed about having to rely on his subordiantes so much, Lancelot was endeared by their kindness, and awarded them all with gifts of their favourite choosing.

2. The Queen of Hearts - Jonah Clemence

Much like Lancelot, Jonah will try to hide the fact that he’s ill, but his first mistake happens before he even wakes up…

He overslept… by an entire hour.

His sickness had hit and weakened him sometime during the night, when he opted for thinner night clothes, not expecting the chilling cold after such a comfortingly warm day.

Because of this poor judgement, Jonah’s body refused to wake up, and instead of his usual 6 AM start, he roused from his slumber at 7AM, much to his shock and distain.

It was just his luck there wasn’t a morning meeting that day due to Edgar being called away on business, and Kyle had his usual hangover, so Jonah had a moment to gather himself and actually make him presentable.

He did a good job of hiding it, but only because he stayed in his private quarters completing paperwork and eating sweet deserts that his footmen brought. There was absolutely no need whatsoever for him to leave his room.

Or so he though…

Night had passed over Cradle when he had been called to the King’s office. Edgar had gotten home slightly earlier than usual, and so the morning’s meeting had been called into place.

It seemingly wouldn’t have been a problem if the sun had been seeping through the windows, but in the glow of the Magic Crystals, Jonah’s ghostly features were illuminated fully.

At first, neither Lancelot or Edgar commented on it, opting to leave him be. It was just to late at night to be teasing…

But then… Jonah’s speech began to warp.

His sickness had progressed into a headache, and he began not thinking straight, no longer possessing the ability to rationally organise and explain his points.

However, knowing the proud Queen of Hearts would never forgive himself for ruining a meeting in such a manner, Lancelot brought the meeting to an end early, ordering his Jack and Queen straight to bed.

The next morning after a much needed sleep, Jonah woke up to painkillers and cold medicine on the bedside, with notes from his fellow officers:

Lancelot: “I noticed you were feeling off yesterday. You are given leave for as long as you need to recover. Get well soon :)”

Edgar: “Don’t push yourself, Queen. I don’t was to tease you if you’re not up to being teased.”

Kyle: “Kinda annoyed you didn’t come to me straight away. Take 10ml of medicine in the bottle three times a day and one before bed, and the painkillers once a day when you feel is necissary. And please, for the love of god, please rest.”

Zero: “Edgar told me you were sick. Don’t worry about your duties, me and him had split them while you get better, so just relax. And… here’s a lolipop. A treat from me for when you feel better!”

Although embarrassed at being caught and annoyed at some of the comments, Jonah smiled and decided that maybe it was time to take a day off to recover.

3. The Jack of Hearts - Edgar Bright

The Jack of Hearts never gets sick. EVER.

Or so it seemed, because like most things in life, Edgar Bright was an expert in the art of both faking a sickness to get a day off, and in the art of pretending not to be sick, even though he felt like literal death inside.

It was the latter that ailed him.

For the entire day, he managed to allude detection. He cleared his mind before meetings, and switched training his soliders with one of Zero’s patrols.

Everything was fine and dandy, golden, good to go!

Until that evening, his dear student had challenged him to a duel…

See, Zero found it strange that Edgar skipped on training the new recruits that day because, although he was tough and the sessions always ended in a high workload for their doctor, it was a necessary part to strengthening their resolve.

Plus… Edgar loved playfully torturing and teasing the men of the Red Army, and did it at every chance he got.

So why not this time…?

To any onlooker (and there were quite a few), it appeared to be an even match between two high-skilled soldiers, ending in Zero disarming Edgar.

But there was no teasing.

There was no indication Edgar was truly Edgar.

But during the little sparring match, Zero found it noticably easy to defeat his teacher.

Assuming he would get teased by it to fuel Edgar’s entertainment, Zero played along with it, hoping he’d snap back to his old self real quick.

But the teasing never came…

And so Zero went to the only man who he knew could solve this problem: one Master Kyle Ash.

So, Kyle and Zero innocently dined with Edgar at dinner that night. End of story.

Or so Edgar thought.

He thought he had been in the clear that night as he walked to feed the Creek Family one last meal, but the Creeks were all sat around a small handkerchief, bearing medicine for Edgar, with a small card folded ontop.

“Get well soon, papa - the Creeks.”

It was Zero’s handwriting, he’d recognise it anywhere, but the sentiment still forced a goofy smile to his face as he reached over to pet each duck in to.

Being sick wasn’t so bad, he thought…

4. The Seven of Hearts - Kyle Ash

The first thought Kyle had when he woke up that morning was that he had a hangover.

A totally reasonable conclusion to make, unless he was just so used to waking up with hangovers that it had become normal for him to assume that’s what his ailment was.

And everyone else assumed that also upon seeing him that morning at the breakfast table and during the morning meeting.

However, there was one who’d know the Hungover Doctor too long to be fooled by the effects of a hangover.

Lancelot had slipped Edgar a note during the meeting, and using the cover up of delievering a letter, let the Jack fulfill the true duty he intended.

Kyle never suspected a thing, too busy with his hangover and with his work to bother too much with his cold.

But when he had returned to his personal quarters than night to do some extra studying, he found a small collection of medicines and medicinal herbs, with a small note folded into a card.

“Do you even realise it yourself, Kyle? You’re sick, and I’m not just refering to your hangovers. Take 10ml of this medicine three times a day and one before bed, and you have leave to rest and recover. Try not to get intoxicated while you do so, it would help your recovery - Lancelot.”

He hadn’t noticed until then, but he was feeling drousy, he was sniffling every now and then, a cough stratched at his throat too.

And yet he smiled, knowing the Lance he knew was still kicking about, there to stand by the people of Cradle whenever, wherever.

5. The Ace of Heart - Zero

Much like most of the boys in the RA, he’d try to hide it and continue with his usual business

His exclusion from the crimson bloodline meant that no one really paid too close attention to him, or noticed there was anything wrong.

Thinking he got away from it all, Zero doesn’t let something as simple as a cold hold him back.

However, in the blistering Cradle heat that came around the next, he began to falter.

He developed a fever when he was out training his men, and it quickly grew worse and worse with time, as he failed to attend to it.

His men finally picked up on his daze, and after their schedual came to an end, ran off to get Kyle.

In the infirmary was both Kyle and Edgar, and upon hearing the Ace was unwell, they both rushed to his room to check the damage.

Kyle was, of course, muttering curses about it, annoyed he let it go that far.

On arriving, however, they find Zero passed out over his desk, and after a quick check-up from Kyle, Edgar carries him to the infirmary for treatment.

The next morning, when Zero wakes up in the infirmary feeling a lot better than he did yesterday, he cursed his inefficientness, and tries to leave to get back to work.

But it’s King’s orders.

Zero isn’t leaving until he’s all better! The care behind the order made Zero smile as he secretly snacked on a lolipop...

[kbstories]

impression//expression

“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Protective Baku, Soft Baku, Stargazing

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Minor content warning for (discussions of) self-esteem issues. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

“Bakugou.”

With an absent hum, Bakugou turns the page, squints, scribbles down a line in his neat, tight handwriting. A piece of black fabric separates his hand from the paper, the same wrapped around his pen, too.

Kirishima leans forward, over his own book-and-notepad combination dotted with scrawled comments and colorful post-it notes. It’s been an hour since any of it has made sense to him.

“Bakuuu. C’mon.”

A sigh, annoyed. Another line is added. Then: “The fuck d’you want?”

It takes a few seconds until the silence has stretched enough for Bakugou to look up and into Kirishima’s pleading eyes. Bakugou’s expression barely changes beyond a raised brow, unimpressed. It’s the one reserved for when Kirishima’s being especially dense – slightly more severe than muttered curses and slightly less so than that God-help-me roll of his eyes he premiered during their last study session.

Which was yesterday. Kirishima would be proud of unlocking a new Angry Bakugou Face in record time… if U.A.’s grumpiest genius wasn’t the only thing standing between him and a frankly impressive row of failed grades.

Final’s Week is brutal, even for heroes-in-training. Especially for heroes-in-training. So: Desperate times, desperate measures.

“Slap me”, Kirishima tells Bakugou, hushed in their corner of the library. “As hard as you possibly can.”

The arch of Bakugou’s brow climbs higher, utterly devastating in its wordless criticism. He says, “What”, tone Aizawa-levels of flat, and it’s not a question. It’s a command: Explain or else.

Kirishima is in no state to resist. The confession bubbles out of him in a whiny rush.

“Dude, I slept like… zero hours last night ‘cause Kami got Pokémon Colosseum – y’know, the reboot? So cool – and we kinda lost track of time. I know, I know, it was a stupid idea, I swear it was an honest mistake!”

Bakugou continues to stare as he puts down his pen and wipes his palms on the edge of his shirt. Kirishima ducks his head, hiding behind the limp strands of his hair.

“Don’t look at me like that, man. I’m seriously about two minutes from passing out here and there’s like a hundred pages of this thing I haven’t read yet, let alone understood, and oh shit Mic will hand me my ass with words tomorr–”

It all happens so quickly: Kirishima catches a blur of motion headed his way and squeaks; his skin hardens about half-way before there’s sparks and his cheek smarts, and a hissed “Motherfucker” sounds right in front of him.

The sharp slap! noise registers only after the fact, when Kirishima holds his face and Bakugou holds his hand and they both stare at each other in mutual bafflement as their skin turns red with the impact.

That moment is like glue, clear and sticky as it extends past its natural limit – then Bakugou snorts and starts to laugh, a cackling hyena-laugh that Kirishima’s never heard in full and certainly not like this, loud and unrestrained, and all hopes of holding back his own laughter is lost as he cracks up, too.

They laugh and laugh, until Kirishima’s stomach starts to cramp up and there’s the sheen of tears in Bakugou’s eyes. “Your f-fucking face”, Bakugou wheezes at some point. “Fucking bastard, you almost broke my hand! With your fucking face!”

All it does is send them into another round of hysterics.

At some point, Kirishima glimpses some of their classmates poke their head around the bookshelves secluding their study corner from the rest of the library, faces ranging from exasperated to deeply disturbed. There’s Ashido, giggling at the sight of both of them bent over and struggling to get some sort of grip, and Kaminari, who just mumbles “What the hell, guys” while straddling the line between sleep-deprived and intensely fascinated by what he’s seeing.

And hey, at least Kirishima’s really freaking awake now. There’s the problem of trying and failing to breathe without dying, his face helplessly flushed and sweating, but the world’s colors are back to being bright and sharp. Across from him, Bakugou isn’t faring much better, shaking his head and the back of his hand covering the broad smile he can’t seem to get rid of.

“Fuck you, you stupid, moronic idiot. For fuck’s sake, Kirishima.”

Kirishima rubs at his chest, the ache in his lungs starting to lessen now that he’s marginally back in control. “I’m so sorry but like”, he waves at himself and he can’t help his grin despite the stinging protest coming from his cheek. “Thanks, dude!”

“Eat a dick.” There’s no bite whatsoever in Bakugou’s grumbling as he sits back down and digs his nose into his book once more, thoroughly ignoring their flabbergasted audience.

After a moment of pantomiming what amounts to I’ll tell you later to their friends, Kirishima joins him, ready to tackle the final boss that is the English language.

*

Nitro!! (Baku 💣💥 )

yo nitro (sent 17:48)

where u at? (sent 17:48)

-

why (received 17:52)

-

why what 🤔 (sent 17:53)

OH uh to hang out? (sent 17:55)

dw dude it’s just me (sent 17:55)

-

[location] (received 18:10)

-

bakugou katsuki what are you doing in the middle of the woods??? (sending…)

NO WAY (sending…)

signal’s gone AGAIN i’m going feral (sending…)

screw it (sending…)

*

The GPS signal craps out twice more before Kirishima heaves himself onto the edge of a cliff and spots a familiar silhouette. Sheltered by a bend in the rock bed, the glow of a fire illuminates a backpack set aside, a pair of discarded hiking boots – and Bakugou, leaning against solid stone with his arms crossed behind his head.

“Took ya long enough”, he says, the lazy smirk on his lips cut in flickering shadows.

“Listen.” Kirishima wipes beads of perspiration off his temple; a spontaneous rock-climbing session by the last light of day is not what he had hoped for after hours of exhaustive quirk training. “We already have a perfectly good camp. There’s, like, leftover curry and hot springs and stuff down there.”

Bakugou scoffs. “Yeah. And a bunch of extras.”

There’s an exasperated reply on his tongue – They’re called classmates, genius. Y’know, friends? – but Kirishima knows it’s pointless to even start that debate. He snipes him with his sweaty headband instead, celebrating his own marksmanship when it hits Bakugou square in the chest with a wet thwap.

“Wha– Shitty Hair!”

“You made me climb this stupid cliff in the middle of the night. Deal with it.”

Bakugou just throws it back, the force of an explosion propelling the thing past Kirishima’s shoulder and off the mountain entirely. Kirishima watches singed white fabric disappear into the abyss, bidding it goodbye with a somber salute.

“Well, that’s lame.”

“You’re lame, fuckface.”

“Bro.”

Shaking his head, Kirishima laughs and joins him by the fire.

It’s quiet for a bit while he gets comfy and Bakugou throws a chunk of wood into the flames, sparks bursting into life immediately. This far up, the air feels… brittle, in a way, thin and cold enough Kirishima wouldn’t have been surprised to see his breath mist. The breeze ruffles the crowns of the trees around them, the rush of rustling leaves in the distance strangely soothing.

Bakugou’s gaze is lost in the night sky when he starts to speak. “Been thinking of borrowing my parents’ car and driving out here by myself. Y’know, once I got my license and shit. ‘s got some good trails, people were talking ‘bout it on those shitty hiking forums. Forums, like we’re in the fucking 2000s.”

His elbows on his knees and his head propped on his hands, Kirishima hums and looks up as well. The moon is a thin island of white in an ocean of indigo blue growing steadily darker, a myriad of stars coming out to keep her company. “Yeah?”

“Mh”, Bakugou makes around a soft breath. “Guess they’re all shit out of luck though ‘cause it’s the personal playground of pro heroes, apparently. It’s a miracle none of our idiots got fucking lost coming out here.”

‘Our idiots’, huh? Kirishima nudges his chin lower and into his palms to hide his smile. “Kinda far of a trip to make just for some hiking, isn’t it?”

A casual shrug, followed by a nod upwards. “Not for this. The lodge is the only structure for miles in any direction and even with us here, it’s got fuck all on an entire city. Get it?”

“Yeah! No light pollution, right?”

“Yup”, Bakugou confirms, popping the ‘p’. A small grin is shot Kirishima’s way, teasing rather than mocking. “What’s this, huh? Don’t tell me you paid attention in fucking physics after all.”

Kirishima breathes an offended huff, mock-hurt.

“Pshh, please. Y’know how everyone has that one niche thing they randomly obsessed over as a kid? That was me with astronomy. Back in Middle School I had like, a huge model of all the planets in my room and my favorite constellations mapped across the ceiling with those glow-in-the-dark stars. Years of useless knowledge, all stored right here.”

Kirishima’s thumb taps his forehead as he smiles at Bakugou; Bakugou’s lips pull into a smile of his own, small but there. When he turns back to the stars, Kirishima does the same, sighing wistfully.

“If Thirteen’s class were just about that I’d freaking ace it, dude. I get that I’m kinda dumb with literally anything else, but space is my jam. Did you know that–”

“You’re not.”

The train of thought Kirishima was about to gleefully jump onto screeches to a halt. “…huh?”

Bakugou frowns at him. “You’re not”, a vague wave in his general direction, “stupid or whatever.”

Perhaps the dumbfounded blinking Kirishima’s doing in response is already enough to prove Bakugou wrong on that. Still, Kirishima sits up a bit straighter, eyebrows pulling together tightly.

“Um. I appreciate you saying that, bro, but I’m only here ‘cause Aizawa decided to get in touch with his merciful side after all. Like, Cementoss totally wiped the floor with me back home. There’s no point in lying to myself about that.”

“So you’re calling me a fucking liar, is that it?”

“Huh?”

Kirishima can only watch as Bakugou’s mouth twists beyond the usual doom and gloom and into something… frustrated. Genuinely annoyed. An iron weight settles in Kirishima’s gut, heavy and hard to ignore. “I didn’t– Look, man, can we not fight over this? I’m just saying I wanna face my mistakes and do better, that’s all.”

“Then say it!”

There’s a severity to the words that catches Kirishima off guard. Bakugou is staring him down with eyes so intense they possess their own gravitational pull, closer to black than crimson in the fire’s light–

Kirishima likes to think he knows Bakugou, at least a little. What makes him tick, what makes him angry – because there is a reason and a rhyme to his anger, a pattern to the things that set him off that Kirishima has yet to properly figure out. It’s just that Kirishima isn’t usually one of those things, not anymore.

“You lost me, Baku”, he admits, quietly, after a beat or two of tense silence. “What do you mean?”

Bakugou sighs, a harsh noise between them. The deep breath afterwards is new, however, a sharp inhale followed by a calmer exhale before Bakugou points at him, a wordless listen up.

“Just– Okay. You fucked up and wanna learn from it? Cool, fucking say that then. Not some bullshit about being too dumb to do shit ‘cause you’re not. Fuck right off with that.”

Mouth opening, Kirishima is stopped by a flurry of firecracker sparks and a terse growl of “Shut the hell up, I’m not done.” Finally, Bakugou’s look snaps elsewhere, one sock-clad foot kicking at a loose rock in clear irritation.

“Studying isn’t your strength, who gives a fuck? You got into U.A. top-fucking-two, you’re one of the only capable fuckers around and if you seriously think you don’t deserve to be here because Cementoss got lucky one fucking time then you got another thing coming.”

Kirishima sits there in a state of mild shock until Bakugou huffs and glares at him again. The threat behind it is ridiculously empty considering the impromptu speech he just gave and holy shit, Bakugou Katsuki is praising him. Kirishima Eijirou.

He might actually cry.

“What? You’re competition, bitch, so don’t make me a fucking liar by pretending otherwise.”

Scratch that, tears are definitely part of the picture now.

Wet-rimmed eyes and a quiet sniff, that’s as far as Kirishima gets before Bakugou’s expression suddenly falls, crestfallen to an almost comical degree. Kirishima does laugh then, a watery little chuckle that doesn’t seem to make things much better, either.

“Sorry, just… Damn Nitro, I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. You really think so?”

And okay, yup, that’s a real glare, this time. Bakugou throws up his hands. “You’re so– Urgh. Did I fucking stutter?”

Kirishima rubs the moisture out of his eyes and smiles. “Nope.” Faint embarrassment heats his cheeks; he focuses on the warmth curling in his chest instead, glowing bright and comforting like the embers at their feet and the stars above.

“Good”, Bakugou mutters.

More wood is tossed into the fire and rekindled with red-hot palms. Scooting closer, Kirishima holds out his hands and hums happily as it chases away the ever-cooling temperatures. They can’t stay up here forever – Aizawa will have his hide for sure if he doesn’t show up to the remedial course tonight – yet Kirishima figures they have a few more minutes.

Bakugou goes right back to his earlier sprawl, unaffected by the cold: arms crossed, eyes on the sky like he can’t get enough of the sight. Kirishima thinks of glow-in-the-dark stickers, faded over time. Quietly, he wonders which constellation is Bakugou’s favorite.

“Kiri.”

“Hm? Yeah?”

Shoulders relaxed, voice even, Bakugou says: “Tell me something. About space, I mean.”

As complicated as being friends with Bakugou can get, it can be so, so easy, too. Just a while longer, Kirishima decides as he settles in next to his best friend and starts talking.

>>Chapter 4

[prettypinklass]

I might start posting oneshots on here, like this one. Maybe.

The Queen's Songstress, the Songstress's Queen

Author: Pink

Word Count: 2513

Warnings/Notes: Fluff, Petra Works too Hard, orphans, Dagda OC, implied/mentioned racism, implied homophobia

Prompt: Paired Endings (Intertwined Destinies event from the Fire Emblem Amino)

~♡~

When she had first returned to Brigid, she had acted as a translator for her friend, who despite pleading to join her, knew nothing of the language. 

Now, years later, Dorothea could speak the common language of Brigid as easily as she could Fodlan's. 

"It's because you're such a good teacher, Petra," she teased, after Petra had praised her skills. 

Despite her grandfather's approval, the people of Brigid had been skeptical of their marriage at first. Dorothea's Fodlanese heritage didn't help. Nonetheless, they didn't argue. Their new queen was happy, and that was what mattered.

Now, years later, the people praised them as one of the best pairs of rulers they had. 

Queen Petra worked tirelessly to improve their relationship with Fodlan after declaring independence. Her wife, the Lady Dorothea, used her connections with the Opera to help. It was hard work, but they succeeded eventually. 

Now, Petra lived her life working tirelessly to help her citizens. Everyday she could be found holding public hearings to address their problems, or in her room, signing paperwork, and on some occasions in a meeting, dealing with the other nobles. It was tiring work, but she would endure it for her kingdom.

Dorothea had built an Opera house in the capital city of Brigid, after extensively studying the nature of Brigid's fine arts and music. She ran the place on her own, wrote their plays, and held weekly singing practices that were open to all, where people could gather and and sing together. Her troupe became famous throughout not only Brigid, but Fodlan as well, eventually even receiving audiences from Dagda and Almyra. 

Today in particular had been a hard day. 

The queen had visitors not only from Fodlan, but from Almyra and Dagda as well. The meeting had been… tiring, to say the least. Seeing an old classmate again after so long on strictly professional terms had been… difficult, the man from Almyra was beefy, and loud, which was a stark contrast to the noble from Dadga, who was posh and professional.

Petra had collapsed into her desk chair after the meeting.

Dorothea had been laying on their bed, humming. Her day had been rough as well, having to deal not only with racist participants in the day's open singing practice, but also guide visitors from the foreign countries in the song. Though she had seen one familiar face, it had still been… difficult.

She jumped up when Petra entered though, before her face fell. The queen had sat down at her desk, and immediately reached for her paperwork. 

"Petra…" the singer stood up with a small sigh, walking over, "Come on, you need to get some rest." 

"I don't have time for rest," Petra replied, "I must get this work done…" 

"Love, you're exhausted…" Dorothea sighed, resting her hands on the queens shoulders and  beginning to rub slowly, "Why don't you take a break? Let me sing for you." 

She hesitated, "Are… you sure? I must get this paperwork done…" 

"You can do it later," the songstress insisted, "Take a break, love. You need one."

Petra frowned at her, shifting to face her wife. Dorothea smiled reassuringly at her, and smiled wider when the queen began to relax, "I have a day off tomorrow…"

"You can finish the paperwork first thing tomorrow, and then we can go out together."

It was quiet for a moment.

Petra sighed, and stood up as she gave in, "Okay… Will you sing for me, Thea?" 

"Of course," Dorothea smiled even brighter in response, and pulled her wife over to the bed. The two laid next to each other, as she hummed softly. 

"What song would you like me to sing?" 

"No preference." 

"Hmm… okay," Dorothea sat up, and began humming. The humming went on for a few moments, changing pitch and tune to match a song, and then…

"Reach for my hand," she began to sing softly, "I'll soar away. Into the dawn, oh, I wish I could stay." 

Petra rolled over and smiled at her. 

"In cherished halls, in peaceful days, I fear the edge of dawn… knowing time betrays." 

Her voice was soft, soothing, and before long… the queen had fallen asleep. 

And when she had finished the song, as she was never one to leave something half done, Dorothea fell asleep too.

~♡~

As promised, Petra finished her paperwork early, and Dorothea had dragged her off to see the town shortly afterward. 

People waved as they passed by, and the pair waved back happily. Brigid's capital really was a lively and friendly place.

Just after noon had come, Dorothea brought her wife to the opera house. There was a public singing session today, and even half an hour before it started, people were beginning to gather. 

A certain indigo haired woman was there already, looking around. Dorothea smiled. 

"Shamir!" 

Shamir looked up, and grinned, "Well well. We meet again, kid. Your Majesty," she bowed to Petra, "To what do I owe this pleasure?" 

Petra fumbled for words. She still wasn't the best at Fodlanese…

"This day- er, Today, is my free day. I am not having work to do." 

"Lucky you," Shamir replied, "It's good to see you both again." 

"Am I assuming you came with the Dagda noble?" Petra asked. 

"Fodlan actually," she shrugged, "Mercenary life gets me plenty of jobs. Just so happened I was in town, and the lord was looking for a suitable guard." 

"Interesting," the queen hummed. 

"Are you here for choir?" Dorothea asked, tilting her head to the side with a happy smile. 

"I guess so. Lord Aegir wanted to come and I'm kind of obligated to follow him everywhere unless he specifically says so," Shamir shrugged, "He's talking to some of the singers, along with that guy from Almyra. Nader or something." 

"You didn't tell me Ferdie was the visiting noble!" Dorothea turned to pout at Petra. 

"It never came up," Petra admitted, laughing a little.

"Anyway, I'm going to go find something to do… singing isn't my thing." 

"You joined yesterday," Dorothea blinked at Shamir.

"I was exploring town and got caught up in it somehow," Shamir sighed, "Lord Aegir's over there if you want to talk to him." 

"Alright then… bye!" The songstress waved. Petra waved as well. 

The pair turned, and walked over to the ginger haired noble. 

"Ferdie!" 

Ferdinand turned, and broke into a huge smile, "Dorothea! The ugly maiden!" 

Everyone paused to stare at him. 

Someone in the back began snickering. 

"Uhh…" 

"Ferdie," Dorothea frowned, "Um… Do you know what 'aklos' means Brigid?" 

"Why, I was told it meant lovely!" Ferdinand replied, smiling brightly, "Impressive, right?" 

Dorothea began giggling, as Petra sighed. 

"Ah, Ferdinand… The Brigidian word for 'lovely', is 'akLAS'. Aklos is our word for ugly." 

The noble blinked. 

His face turned pink. 

"B-by the goddess! Please, accept my sincerest apologies!" He bowed, "I have been tricked it seems…" 

"Don't worry about it," Dorothea laughed, "Are you here for choir?" 

"Why yes! I heard from Manuela that you run your own opera house here! She misses you by the way, and is hoping to one day collaborate with your opera." 

"Oh, I would love to! I'll have to send a letter to her!" Dorothea exclaimed happily, "Thank you Ferdie!" 

"But of course! It is my duty to assist!" 

One of the actresses, a young woman, called over, "Miss Dorothea! We're ready to begin!" 

"Oh! That's my cue," Dorothea smiled, and giggled slightly, "Have fun Love," she pecked Petra on the cheek, and waved at Ferdinand, before running up to join the singers at the podium. 

Choir was always a joy for Petra to attend. Not only did she get to hear her wife's beautiful voice, but the act made her feel… closer to others, not only to her Dorothea, but to her citizens as well. The same citizens loved it when she would join them as well. 

Ferdinand sang loudly, and he sounded well enough. Nader on the other hand, sounded like a dying bird. The look Dorothea gave him at the end of the first song would've scared the pants off of even the most fiercest soldier.

He ended up being asked to sing... quietly, so that the others could be heard over him.

Even Shamir participated, though at the request of Ferdinand. She seemed to enjoy herself though, if only for one song. 

It seemed like only a few minutes later when choir ended, though it had been at least an hour. 

"You were great Petra!" The songstress quickly began gushing, "Even better than before!"

"You're making me blush Thea," Petra laughed in embarrassment, "You sounded much better than I did." 

"Even so," she giggled, "Well, what would you like to do now?" 

"Why don't we visit the orphanage?" 

"Sounds like a wonderful idea," Dorothea replied, "Let's head there now, and then we can be home in time for dinner." 

"Right," the queen nodded, and after saying goodbye to Ferdinand and Shamir, they began walking to the orphanage.

~♡~

The orphanage was as lively as ever.

Though the place was small, and the only residents were a few children and their caretaker, it was always lively. The children were often running around and playing together, making noise and sometimes causing chaos. The 4 of them were quite the handful for their caretaker, but they managed. 

A jingle sounded as they entered. 

"Just a moment!" Came a call from the back. A few seconds later, the caretaker appeared, carrying a box. 

"Oh!" She gasped, "Your Majesty, Lady Dorothea! What a pleasant surprise!" 

"Hello Chey," Petra smiled, "We came to visit." 

"The children were just wondering when they would be able to see you again," Chey laughed, smiling, "Children! You have a visitor!" 

Light footsteps were heard immediately. The quick pitter patter of small feet echoed in the building, as a group came tumbling out of the bedrooms.

First came Fiona, a 7 year old. She was quickly followed by the 8 year old, Darrell, who stumbled and tripped onto her. Fiona squealed.

Lily came next, the oldest at age 11, "Hey! Be careful, I'm holding Harry!" 

Harry let out a "Bubba!" and burst into giggles. He was the youngest of the four, being just barely a year in age. Fiona and Darrell fumed at each other.

"Now now,' Chey frowned, walking over to them, "Don't get into a fight. Look who came to visit!" 

"Kween Petwa! Dorufea!' Harry babbled excitedly, "Petwa and Dorufea! Yay!" 

"Q-Queen Petra! Lady Dorothea!" Lily gasped, and did a quick bow still holding the toddler, "It's a pleasure to see you again!" 

"Petra! Dorothea! Hi!' Fiona brightened up quickly and waved. 

"Idiot, it's QUEEN Petra and LADY Dorothea! Don't forget your manners!" Darrell hissed at her. 

"What do titles matter?" She crossed her arms with a huff.

"A lot!" 

"How?" 

"Because-" 

"That's enough," Chey sighed, "No fighting. Apologize to Her Majesty and Lady Dorothea." 

The pair glared at each other. She nudged them.

Darrell was first. 

"I'm sorry Queen Petra, Lady Dorothea…" 

"Sorry…" Fiona mumbled quickly just after him. 

Harry babbled something that nobody understood. Dorothea laughed, and took him from Lily. He squealed happily, and pulled her hair. She winced, but laughed. 

"Your apology is accepted, little ones," Petra knelt down to smile at Fiona and Darrell, "It is a pleasure to see you again." 

The two smiled brightly at her in response. 

"What do you say?" Chey prompted. 

"Thank you Queen Petra!" The two chorused, before running off into the back playfully shoving each other. 

"Ah…" the caretaker watched them run off, "I'll have to scold them later… I'm sorry." 

"Don't worry about it," Dorothea laughed, "You seem to be handling them well." 

"Ah, well… I'm not quite sure how I ended up with four of them. I picked up Lily off the streets and since then… Well I haven't been able to say no to them like that," the caretaker laughed softly, "Will you be staying for a visit your Majesty? Lady Dorothea?" 

"Please?" Lily added with a smile. 

Harry babbled and giggled happily. 

"I'm sure we can stay for a little bit," Petra nodded. 

"Of course," Dorothea smiled brightly, "It would be a pleasure." 

Lily cheered, and Harry babbled. The royal pair followed her into the backroom with a laugh. 

~♡~

The meeting room was silent. 

Dorothea suppressed a sigh. Shamir glanced at her from across the room.

"...and that is why I believe we should cut off trade entirely. I don't mean to be accusing, but recent affairs have proven my suspicions." 

The noble from Dagda would not shut up. He kept going on and on about how Fodlan's recent battles proved them unstable, and their rocky relationship with surrounding areas didn't help. 

"Lord Hanth, please," Ferdinand sighed, "I can assure you with 100% positivity that Fodlan is unified in all ways. I ask that you please refrain from this incessant blabbering about us being unstable, when it is not backed up by factual evidence." 

Hanth scowled, "Of course you would say that, Lord Aegir. You're FROM Fodlan-"

Petra sighed, "Lord Hanth, with all due respect, I can fully support Lord Aegir's claims as witness. Dorothea and I were present for the unification of Fodlan." 

"That is not the only issue!" Hanth snapped, "Her, for example!" He pointed at Shamir, "Why is a citizen of Dagda-"

"I'm from Dagda, yeah," Shamir crossed her arms, "I came to Fodlan as a mercenary. Lord Aegir hired me." 

Ferdinand raised an eyebrow at the Dadga lord.

"We were invaded once-" 

"You started that fight," Dorothea pointed out.

He scowled, "I refuse to do trade until both Fodlan and Brigid have proven their stability. With that, I believe this meeting is over." 

He turned and stomped out. 

"...Geez," Nader sighed, "What a guy." 

Dorothea jumped. She had forgotten about the Almyran general. 

"General Nader, thoughts?" Petra looked over. 

"I got no problem with trade, long as Fodlan doesn't interfere with our merchants," the general shrugged, "Might have to double check with the king on that though." 

"I see. In that case, do what you must," she nodded. 

"...Shamir, are all the nobles from Dagda like that?" Ferdinand asked. 

"Dunno," Shamir shrugged, "I haven't been there in years." 

"Well," Dorothea sighed, "I suppose not trading with Dagda isn't too much of a loss…" 

"I am sure we can manage," Petra nodded, "Ferdinand? Are you confirming a trade with Brigid?" 

"But of course!" Ferdinand smiled, "And I hope we can establish trade with Almyra as well!" 

"Hah! Sounds good!" Nader laughed. 

"Shall we shake on it then?" The nobleman asked. 

"Yes," Petra nodded, and held out her hand. She shook with Ferdinand, then Nader, and then the two shook hands with each other.

It was agreed. 

Ruling a country that once was a vassal to another wasn't easy. Especially not when there were relationships she had to repair with other kingdoms, but maybe… just maybe, she could do it. 

As long as she had Dorothea, the person whom she is said to have loved the most, standing at her side.

~♡~

[amaya777]

Snake Whisper | A Twisted Wonderland Oneshot

Dedicated to @malleusthorns and their click and drag games. I decided to do something different with this particular oneshot based on the results compared to previous ones. This takes place after Chapter 4 as well.

Jamil x reader

Warning: Scarabia angst, Kidnapping, poison, physical abuse, toxic/non-con relationship

------------------------------------

You had been surprised when Kalim sent you a text, wanting to hang out later today. He really must have taken it well yesterday, relieved that you two can be friends. So you were waiting for him in the mirror chamber, seeing that it wasn’t that busy right now due to mostly everyone being in their clubs right now. As you watched the Scarabia mirror for Kalim to come through, you did not expect to see Jamil instead who had noticed you and came walking over with a wave.

“Oh, hey Jamil. Where’s Kalim? I was supposed to meet up with him before hanging out.”

“About that, he can’t make it unfortunately. But he wanted me to give this to you as an apology. It’s his favorite drink.”

Jamil had said with a pleasant smile as he pulled out a bottle of coconut milk and handed it over. You thanked him, taking it and knew just how much Kalim loved this stuff after all. So you twisted open the cap and immediately took a couple sips of it, getting the sweet refreshing taste of the coconut. But there was something off that you tasted too, not what should be in coconut milk at all. That was when you coughed uncontrollably, feeling your body start seizing up and going numb at the moment. You looked up, only to see Jamil smirking and shaking his head.

“You idiot, just like him after all. You never know when something has been poisoned. Don’t worry, it won’t kill you,” Jamil explained as he caught you in his arms when you were about to fall over. You wanted to yell, but you couldn’t make a sound and just watched him glancing around before he started dragging you with him to who knows where. After what felt like forever, you had found yourself in a basement as Jamil threw you to the floor, tying up your arms and legs tightly with rope. He stood there, towering over you as the poison was finally wearing off, able to speak and now feeling the pain of the ropes.

“Jamil! What is the meaning of this?! Why did you poison me?”

You had yelled as you tried to struggle with the knots, so confused right now. What on earth is he even thinking?! Jamil was silent as he crouched down, a scowl on his face before he grabbed your hair and pulled it hard, wincing. That was also when you felt something cold against your neck, realizing that he was holding a dagger.

“Again, you are so oblivious just like him. It’s damn infuriating and I should just kill you right now. But that wouldn’t be enough.”

Jamil pulled the dagger back and put it away as he glared at you. What the hell is his problem?! Then you were thinking about what had happened yesterday and figured that must be the reason why.

“Is this because I broke up with Kalim yesterday? I told him that I just wanted to be friends and he seemed perfectly fine with it. So this is none of your business.”

You remembered how you talked with Kalim in his room yesterday, having thought long and hard about it as you realized that you didn’t have any romantic feelings for him after all. So you told him and had asked him if the two of you could just be friends instead. He gave that usual cheery smile of his as he agreed to it and seemed happy that he could at least still be friends with you. In the end, you both hugged before you had left his room and the Scarabia dormitory, believing that things went way better than you expected. Of course this only ended up with Jamil’s hand quickly grabbing your throat and started squeezing it as you coughed.

“This has everything to do with me. Did you really think that he was actually okay with it? He’s too kind and naive for his own good, of course he would lie so that he wouldn’t hurt your feelings. He has been crying ever since and won’t even leave his room now. It’s all your fault.”

Jamil clearly recalled the events of yesterday, how he had gone to check up on Kalim when he noticed you leaving the Scarabia dormitory. He could hear the sounds of crying as he approached Kalim’s door, opening it without knocking and confirming his suspicions when he saw Kalim on the bed crying his eyes out. That moron tried to hide it, saying that nothing was wrong and how he is perfectly alright with a stupid smile but Jamil knew. It was obvious to everyone that he did not take the rejection well, even more upset about it than how he had been when Jamil recovered from overblotting. He shouldn’t really care, but for some reason seeing Kalim crying and so depressed ate at him and he needed to do something about it. That is when he came up with this plan to get revenge and lured you out.

“Clearly despite the both of you being the same, you don’t deserve him at all. I wasn’t going to use my unique magic again after that incident, but this is the only way,” Jamil hissed as his hand moved to grab your chin and he stared directly into your eyes. 

But then both of you heard a loud crash and looked over, only to see Ace Trappola come running in. He called out your name, pushing Jamil off of you and getting you free of the ropes. Jamil just glared and was furious, wondering how Ace even found them as the other returned the glare before carefully helping you up. You thanked Ace as he was escorting you out of the basement below Night Raven College, leaving behind Jamil and making sure that you were okay.

For the next few days, you were able to avoid Jamil and got back to your normal routine again, feeling terrible about Kalim now but hoping that he has recovered. Unfortunately, you let your guard down when you were leaving the library after a late night study session. He stepped out from behind a pillar in front of you, eyes like that of a predator having caught it’s prey and before you could even run, he grabbed onto your arms tightly while staring into your eyes.

“You thought that you could escape me? I’m not holding back anymore after all. This is for Kalim. The person reflected in your eyes shall be your Master. You shall answer when you are asked, and you shall obey when you are ordered. Snake Whisper,” Jamil spoke as you were shocked before your head started hurting like hell, shaking it and trying to pull away.

“Just give up, it hurts the more you resist. Now, who is your Master?” Jamil hissed with a sinister smile as he watched and kept a firm grip.

“....You are, Master Jamil,” you say in a monotone voice with glowing red eyes and now completely under his magic. He laughed, knowing that you are his to control as he wishes.

“Perfect. Follow me.” Jamil simply spoke as he let go of your arms and would lead the way towards the Scarabia dormitory. You nodded and obediently followed after him where you would spend the rest of your life as Jamil’s slave. Kalim and Jamil argued for many hours about this when Kalim found out about you, but it took a lot of persuading on Jamil’s part and that he only did this for Kalim’s sake that finally made Kalim understood. He hated it but knew that Jamil wasn’t going to listen, thinking that at least this shows Jamil does care about him after all in a twisted way.

[wizardessheart-sideb]

Image ID: A chapter image done in the style of Wizardess Heart. A large, off-white imagine with a guy on it. He’s wearing a dark gray uniform. There’s a lavender bar over him that reads “Tsukasa Kuze.” The rest of the text reads “Main Story” and “Chapter 4: Studying Cut Short” /End ID]

Chapter summary: Tsukasa and mine's daily study session gets derailed a bit when he feels sick after practicing defense magic.

The bell rang and I slumped forward onto my desk, groaning. It’s only been three days, but I’m so tired. I’m ready to take a nap. Or die. Either one. Even though I’ve been studying and practicing so hard, I can’t ever catch up to everyone else.

“Are you okay?” Tsukasa’s voice sounded concerned.

“No,” I answered honestly. Tsukasa leaned over and rubbed my back. Even through my clothes, I could feel the heat from his hand. It felt more nice than reassuring.

“Is this about our grades?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied. “And I’m tired.” Even after our study sessions, I spent hours in my room studying and practicing. If I was being honest, I probably wasn’t getting enough sleep on top of still trying to get used to this new nocturnal schedule.

“Do you want to cancel our study session for today?”

“… No.” It was a tempting offer, but I couldn’t slack off. Not when his grades depended on me.

“I don’t mind canceling,” Tsukasa said.

“No. I need to practice.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t exactly the whole truth. I didn’t want him to know I was worried about his grades. He was probably worried about them enough without me putting more pressure on him. Tsukasa sighed.

“… If you’re sure.” He sounded hesitant. Reluctant. But he just stood up, gathering his things.

Have I upset him?

Quickly, I shoved my stuff into my bag and I caught up with Tsukasa. There seemed to be two streams of people: one going back to the dorms and the other heading towards what I assumed was the Night Cafe. Not that I’d been there yet, what with Dorian cooking our meals and even packing our lunches. I wonder when he gets any sleep with how busy he is… And speak of the devil…

As Tsukasa and I approached the library, Dorian came into view, sitting on the ground in front of the door, face in his hand.

“Uh, Dorian? Are you okay?” I asked.

“Hey,” Dorian responded. He got to his feet, still looking disgruntled. “I’m doing a favor for Nox and Rex. I can’t let anyone into the library.”

“What? How come?” Tsukasa asked.

“The hell if I know,” Dorian said with a shrug. “They just asked me to keep people out while they investigated something in there. Whatever it was, they looked pretty freaked out about it.”

“That’s kind of concerning,” I said.

“I’m sure it’s nothing that bad,” Dorian said. That… no. Just no. Was he just trying to play it down so he wouldn’t scare us? Nox and Rex seemed like really tough guys. If something scared them, it would probably scare anybody. But regardless of what happened, this meant no studying in the library today. Tsukasa and I said our goodbyes to Dorian before turning back the way we came.

“Uh… do you still want to study? We could go study at the dorms,” Tsukasa suggested.

“I think we have no choice.” We made our way to the dorms and up to the third floor where Tsukasa’s suite was.

There’s something interesting about seeing dorm rooms. There’s a special brand of uniformity to them. They have the same bed, same desks, same dressers, same lights, same flooring. But each person makes the room their own. Decorations are put up, layouts changed, personalities seep into the room. And Tsukasa’s is no different. There are photographs of him and an older guy who must be his older brother all over his wall. A pile of snacks rests on his desk and his bed is messily made.

“Sorry my room’s messy,” Tsukasa said as he started moving stuff from off of the beds to underneath them. “You can sit wherever you like.”

“No, it’s fine! This isn’t messy at all.” I sat down on the bed across from his. Tsukasa leaned against his bed after pushing away some spare blankets. “Um, I guess I should go over earth shields since yesterday was garbage.”

“All right, let’s do it,” Tsukasa nodded. I whipped out my wand and steeled myself. The faster I got this, the more I could hone this until it was perfect.

“O earth, protect us from harm! Suctum terra!” The image of a stone slab strong in my mind, I channeled my magic through my wand. A solid dirt slab appeared in front of me. Tsukasa smiled widely.

“Hey, that looks way better!” he said. His compliment made my cheeks burn.

“Thank you! Can you attack it and see if it’ll stay?”

“Yeah, of course. 水! (Mizu)!” Tsukasa drew a symbol in the air and a deluge of water came forth, slamming into my shield. I had to channel more magic into it, trying to keep it in place and together. My muscles tensed from all my concentration. Suddenly, the water stopped and Tsukasa exhaled, shoulders slumping forward.

“I think it’s good,” he said breathlessly. Yay! I did it!

“Now I just need to keep this up…” Easier said than done. Not to mention, Tsukasa’s magic was improving too. I was about to compliment him when it happened. Tsukasa flopped back onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his chest rapidly rising and dropping.

“Tsukasa?! Are you okay?” I hurried over to his bed. He nodded very slightly, eyes closed.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little winded and dizzy,” he told me.

“Dizzy?” I get being winded from magic, but dizzy?

“It’s nothing serious,” he tried to wave my concern away. “It’s just a part of my condition.”

“‘Condition?’” I repeated. What condition?

“I just need to lay down for a moment,” he said.

“That doesn’t sound like it’s not serious.” Now that I thought about it, on the day I moved in, wasn’t Tsukasa in the infirmary? Nox said something about Tsukasa scaring them. Has this happened before? As Tsukasa got on his bed, I sat at his feet. “Is there anything I can do for you?” I asked him.

“If you could hand me a pencil and my Magic Notes, I’d really appreciate it,” he said.

“Uh, sure.” Even though I had no idea why he’d want those, I got up and rifled through his bag for them. His things weren’t well-organized, but somehow I was able to find them.

“Thank you.” He sat up a little and started writing furiously. I tried to sneak a peek at what he was writing, but since it was in Hinomotan, I couldn’t understand it.

“What are you writing?” I inquired, trying not to sound too serious or nosy.

“I’m writing to my brother,” he explained. “I have to tell him whenever this sort of thing happens.”

“That’s kind of weird. Oh!” Dang it! I need to stop blurting out things! But he didn’t look offended. At least, I didn’t think he did. He frowned, sad, but at least he didn’t look angry. He just looked resigned.

“It’s not…” He sighed, putting his pencil down.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in a weird way. I was just surprised,” I said, trying not to dig myself into a deeper hole than I was already in. The last thing I wanted was a fight with Tsukasa. Not just because we were Buddies, but because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

“No, I understand,” Tsukasa said. “I know it’s weird, but Azusa’s insistent on it.” Again, he sighed. He picked his pencil back up and continued writing. “It’s invasive, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”

With a flourish, he finished the note and sent it off. The sorrowful look on his face tugged on my heartstrings. It’s really not a good situation to be, isn’t it?

“Tsukasa… You don’t have to tell me, but what’s going on?” I reached out for his hand absentmindedly. It took me a moment to realize what I’d down, but before I could take my hand back, Tsukasa grabbed it. He gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go. His eyes avoided mine.

“… You’d find out eventually… And I guess this affects you since we’re Buddies…” he muttered. He took a deep breath. “I’ve always been sickly. Ever since I was a child, I always had problems with my immune system. I get sick really easily and I don’t think I’m ever truly healthy. I’ve almost died a few times, but I’ve managed to pull through. I had a really bad bout of cholera when I was fourteen and after that, Azusa insisted we move to Gedonelune because the medication I’m taking is readily available here and it’s hard to get in Hinomoto.”

Tsukasa’s arms folded in front of his chest.

“Azusa’s always been so busy working to support us that it’s always been our system that if I wasn’t feeling well, I tell him immediately so he can keep up to date with how I’m feeling. I was fine with it when we were younger, but now that we’re adults, it just feels invasive. I know he’s just doing it because he cares about me, but he raised me and he knows I’m always sick. I don’t see why he has to know everything.”

“Is your medication not helping?” I asked.

“Ugh, I don’t know. It really helped me the first few years I took it. I got sick only once or twice a year. But in the last year or so, I’ve been getting sick more often and I honestly don’t know if it’s actually doing anything. But Azusa keeps insisting I need to take it…”

His shoulders slumped and my heart sunk. I couldn’t begin to imagine how much stress Tsukasa was under. Not only did he have to deal with being sick, but he had to deal with his brother being overbearing. In that moment, a single thought occurred to me: If I got good enough at magic, maybe I could help him. Was healing humans and animals really all that different?

Once again, my hand reached for Tsukasa’s. But this time, I didn’t wait for him to grab it.

“If you need anything, I’m here for you,” I told him. His hand was so warm as it squeezed mine back. A small smile was on his lips.

“Thank you. That really means a lot to me.” A moment passed and yet again, I realized what we were doing.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I swear my head isn’t on right today,” I stammered. I pulled my hand out of his. Thankfully, he just laughed; he didn’t seem angry.

“I don’t mind holding your hand,” he said. For some reason, that made my stomach feel all fluttery. I needed to become an official student now. Not just for myself, but to try and help Tsukasa. To help him relax and repay the kindness he’s shown.

Tsukasa and I decided to cut our study session short and after doing some homework together, I returned to my dorm. Like usual, the door to the suite was open. As I approached, I could hear talking in the kitchen. I poked my head in and saw Aika and Dorian. Aika sat at the table, flipping through a book while Dorian stood at the stove.

“… Okay, add the paprika and let it simmer for fifteen minutes,” she instructed him.

“Got it,” he nodded.

“What’re you making?” I asked, coming into the kitchen and taking a seat across from Aika. The two smiled.

“There you are! I was wondering where you were, what with the library being closed,” Aika said.

“Yeah, did you guys get your study session done?” Dorian asked.

“Aw, you were studying with your Buddy~?” Aika teased me. Hm. I don’t know if I like that lilt.

“Well, yeah, of course I studied with Tsukasa.” Why was I feeling so defensive?

“You two are so cute together,” Aika commented. “Cute together?!

“What?!” I squeaked. My face was burning and I wanted to disappear into thin air. Why are they being so weird?!

“Pft… Don’t get your underwear in a twist,” Dorian laughed. “Aika just thinks you two are a cute couple.”

“We’re not a couple though?!” I corrected him.

“Yet,” Aika said with a wink.

“You guys are spending a lot of time together,” Dorian pointed out, the edges of his lips curled into a grin.

“Because we’re Buddies. We have to work together. Our fates depend on each other.” I told them. But they kept smiling and it was clear my words didn’t mean a thing to them.

“Come on, isn’t there something romantic about being with someone that your fate is tied to? Right, babe?” Dorian looked to Aika, who was staring off into space. She perked up, looking around the room like a Meerkat looking for predators.

“… Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, totally,” she said. Dorian pouted at her.

“At least pretend to pay attention when I’m bullying someone,” he said. This was only going to get worse, wasn’t it? They really weren’t going to listen to the truth that Tsukasa and I were just friends.

“Y-You guys are too much!” I cried. I quickly fled from the room, Dorian’s laughter chasing after me.

“Dinner in an hour,” he called after me. I slammed my door shut, leaning against the back and sliding to the ground. My face felt hotter than lava. Why are they like that?! Is making people embarrassed their hobby?!

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was obvious I was flustered. But why? I didn’t see Tsukasa romantically, so why did their teasing feel like a personal attack on top of just being embarrassing in general?

[fairymadnessyeah]

Birthday Boys - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 : Welcome Home, Nii-san

Hope you like it

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242565/chapters/55292371

Sunlight filtered through the window and the rag they called a curtain. Dabi grumbled as the light hit his eyes, waking him. Rubbing his eyes and sitting up on the bed, the raven looks at his left. Shigaraki's light blue hair shinning with the morning light greeted him, as he moved to get more comfortable, hugging the pillow and taking all the sheets for himself and leaving Dabi bear to the world.

The older man chuckled as he watched his boyfriend create a nest out of their bed. For as long as he known Tomura, he knew the man was always cold. He had even seen him use long sleeves in the middle of summer. Dabi laid back in the bed and stared at his skinny boyfriend amused. He noticed the bed sheets slipping off of his shoulder. With a low moan, Dabi started leaving small kisses and nips at the pale skin that was still coverred in hickeys from yesterday. Tomura groaned and blinked himself awake.

He huffed in annoyance and turned his eyes to Dabi. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"But you're comfy..." Dabi said with a yawn and rolled on top of Shigaraki.

"Get your skinny ass off of me... " Tomura grumbled as he tried to burry himself into his pillow.

"You weren't complaining about my skinny ass yesterday" Dabi whispered in his ear. Tomura only groaned in responce. "It does feel a little sore. Won't you kiss it better?" Dabi continued teasing his boyfriend and, again, only got a groan as a responce. Although, louder and longer. "Well, can I at least kiss yours?"

Tomura stood up abruptly, making Dabi fall off the bed. Shigaraki was frowning down at his boyfriend as he looked up from his spot on the floor, looking smug as the little shit that he was. "You are bottoming until the bite heals." The pale man on the bed said and returned to his spot on the bed.

Dabi grinned and, standing up from the floor, stepped outside the room to go to the bathroom. After a couple of minutes, Dabi came back into the bedroom with a towel around his naked hips, his hair wet and a couple of rogue drops tracing a path throght all of his tattooed chest. As Dabi started getting dressed, Tomura was slowly getting out of the pile of sheets and pillows. By the time Dabi was ready, Tomura was sitting on the edge of the bed with only one blanket covering him like a robe, as he scratched lightly against his neck.

Dabi stood right in front of him and took his hands in his to stop him. He placed them around his own neck, making the other stand up from the bed, and when he was head to head with him, Dabi closed their distance, locking their lips into a tender kiss Tomura melted into. As the two separed their lips, Dabi hummed and fastened the bed sheet as a cape back on Tomura. "Y'know..." He sighted "You got horrible morning breath, creep" He told him and kissed the mole near his lips as Tomura pouted.

The two got out of the room and made their way through the apartment. Tomura going directly into the bathroom to shower and Dabi staying in the kitchen to make breakfast. He had made some coffee and had started pouring on cereal for Tomura as he sipped from one of the cups with coffee, the one with a MCR album picture, when said he stepped out the bathroom in his robe, a blast of steam coming out with him.

Dabi didn't understand how Tomura didn't cook himself alive with how hot he took his showers. He had learned to bath before Tomura, after their first week together as roommates. Tomura had run him out of hot water faster than anybody that had ever took a shower there. And that was an achievement, since Toga used to spend a lot of time here and always took two hours to get ready. Somehow, she had at least left hot water for him.

As he was making himself some toast with the oven, Tomura came out of the room wearing a black hoodie, black pants and his red sneakers. He took one of the cups, the one with mothman, and sat on the counter, with the bowl of dry cereal in his lap.

Once his toasts were done, Dabi pulled a chair next to his boyfriend. The two ate like that, with Tomura perched on the kitchen counter, eating dry cereal and Dabi spread on a chair near him as he ate almost-burned toast. They talked about Tomura's channel as they drank their coffee. The couple had actually really missed each other, and after spending an entire day making up for it, they still didn't want to spend time without the other.

But Tomura knew his boyfriend better than most. Dabi was avoiding something. And with how this last few weeks had gone, it didn't take a genius to deduce it was about his family. Or rather his sibblings and the promise he had made to his baby brother. From now on, starting next week, Shouto was going to work with Dabi on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and during this days, Dabi was supposed to contact the older pair of sibblings to try to reconnect.  

"When are you seeing your sibblings?" Shigaraki asked Dabi, shooting the elephant of the room.

"I'm going to call them later..." Dabi told him, avoiding his gaze and trying to move on from this topic.

"You can't just call them," He told the raven. "You have to go see them. You can't start something with one foot outside"

"I... have work, babe" He tried to find excuses that could work.

"How many booked session today?" Tomura asked, tired of his boyfriend actions.

"Umm... One in a bit" Dabi said as he stood up from his chair to clean as he finished his breakfast.

"Alright," Tomura finished his coffee and his cereal and hopped out of the counter. "Where does your brother study?"

"Karasuno College, Natsuo is in the volleyball team" Dabi told him. Tomura took out his phone as Dabi finished up in kitchen.

The two made their way downstairs to the shop. Dabi at the front, opening everything and Tomura behind him, still staring and messing with his phone. When they reached the place, Tomura sat at the register as Dabi opened and turned on the lights. As the place started looking alive again, Dabi went next to his boyfriend and grabbed his sketch book. Before he could look for his pencil, Tomura showed him what he was doing with his phone.

It was an itinerary of Natsuo's univercity's team. Apparently it was a big deal. Years back it was supposed to be the home of a famous volleyball team that had won thousands of medals or something. Dabi, though, already knew this as he had enterred this site thousand of times before, as he had kept tabs on all of his sibblings. The tattooed man looked expectantly at his boyfriend. Tomura was a natural schemer and strategiest, if he showed him something there was a plan formulating or in the process at the moment.

"They have practice at 4:30 Pm, that gives you enough time to finish this booked appointment, and catch him before his practice and spend an hour or two with him. I will take care the store today and call and re-schedule today, tomorrow and Saturdays appointments." Shigaraki told him with a tone that left no place for discussion and put his phone down.

Dabi was thinking of something to get out of going to see his brother, but he was coming up empty. His boyfriend could be terrifing when he wanted to. He was almost sure that Shigaraki Tomura could achieve world domination in a year. If he was honest with himself, for a while, when they still had the gang going on, he could of swore that the only thing holding Tomura back was himself and his twisted love for his Sensei. And if the Tomura-Empire ever happened, Dabi would make sure he was right there next to his boyfriend in every step of the way.

Right now though, he wasn't able to come with any excuse to avoid this and Tomura knew so, judging by the stupid smirk he had on. It could not have been a better moment for the doorbell-guitar to go off and as a guy in a black jacket came inside for his tattoo. Tomura checked him and as he enterred the the side room where Dabi would tattoo him, Tomura took the phone and Dabi's booked appointments information and started calling them.

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Natsuo was having a very shitty month.

First, his strangled brother appeared out of thin air after 10 years of silence. Which really ended as baddly as he should have expected.

Then, he couldn't even stand his family as they acted as if everything was okay after the whole Touya incident part II. Because what did you do when something was horrible? You made a sequel out of it and pretend you liked the result.

After that, his friends, who he thought were getting kind of annoying after going from praising the living daylight out of his Old Man, to curse him everytime he was mentioned, told him he should take a break during the next two matches and not participate. Because apparently, he looked "tense".

And finally, the cafeteria, who had been his happy place for a long time, had cancelled Taco Thursday, for a salad bar.

Which okay, he could get behind for his vegan girlfriend. But today he could practice again to participate in the next match with his team. He deserved a spicy mexican treat.

Leaving his girlfriend with her friends so that she could enjoy the salad bar, he growled all the way out of the building as he searched with his phone for a place where they sold mexican food. He had just stepped outside when he saw him. Black dyed hair, intence blue eyes, tattooes and piercings covering his body. He was leaning against a motorbike, who Natsuo had to admit, was cool as hell and talking through his phone. Without even thinking it, Natsuo put on his best, 'Oh, yeah, Endeavor is my dad' face and greeted Touya as he approached him.

He knew it was a bad idea, but if he could show him how much they needed him and how much they missed him, maybe Touya would stay.

He heard his brother say, "I'll call you later " before he turned his attencion to the albino. "So... You have to... work around here or something?" He asked, trying to break the ice.

Touya stared at him and Natsuo could feel the gaze burning his very being. And after not seeing one another for 10 years and going through a horrible reunion, the first thing Touya ever said to Natsuo was:

"Take that phony thing you call a smile off your face. It’s creepy”

Natsuo did and looked down. He was too ashamed of himself to face his brother. Of course he didn’t want him in his life anymore.

Natsuo had never been there for him. He had just left him get beaten by Dad like a punching bag and when Shouto was born, he tried to hog him all to himself. And when he had run away, he was the first one to lose hope of him ever returning. He had left him for dead. No, wonder he never came back.

“Listen, Natsuo... I came here to talk, It might go bad or not but, in the very least, we’ll get some closure” Dabi said, making the albino look up in hope.

“Really?” Natsuo asked dazed, to which Dabi just shrugged. “Well... I was craving some spicy food, so...”

“Sure, I saw some food trucks while I was coming here, we could check them out.” Touya said as he took two helmets out of the saddlebag of the bike. He gave Natsuo the shiny gray one as he put on the black one with flames drawn on it.

Natsuo took the helmet and gasped excited as he looked between the helmet, the motorcycle and his brother. Then he abruptly stopped.

“Can I drive?” He asked seriously

“Not even if die” Dabi told him. His brother put on the helmet with a pout and hopped on.

They arrived at a park a couple of minutes later. There were a couple of kids playing near some swings and a slide, some adults watching over them on a bench nearby and two food trucks. One sold donuts and the other burritos.

Natsuo and Dabi went to both, one settling for burritos aand the other getting a jelly donut. All the way there and while they order the food, Natsuo told Dabi about his classes and his girlfriend, and he would of continued if Dabi hadn’t stopped him. The two were seated in a bench near the playground, but far enough so that they didn’t bother the kids playing there.

“Touya died a long time ago,” Dabi started “I’m not the same person you knew. I changed. I’m Dabi now... And I know you loved Touya very much but,... I can’t be him anymore.”

Natsuo stared at him speechless. He didn’t know what to say. When he imagined what it would be like if Touya ever returned it never went like this. (Well, his fantasies also included Touya punching Enji and knocking him uncouncios, so...).

But, never, not even in the horrible dephs of his imagination could he have come up with this. Because, even if the man in front of him would deny it, he knew his brother. He knew Touya. And there was a little bit of that in Dabi still.

There was still the shame and guilt of not being able of protecting his family, his saddness over being unbearable to look at for Mom, the stubborn determination they all inherited from their Dad.

There were some differences, but the core was the same.

It was Touya, and Dabi. It was his brother.

And God, had Natsuo missed him.

The albino decided to let it go and threw his arms around him, smothering him in a hug. Dabi let go of the breath he was holding and returned Natsuo’s affection, patting him in the back in return.

“Okay, that’s... alright for now” Dabi told him and separated them.

Natsuo sniffed, and rubbed away the small tears that formed in his eyes. He gave his brother a bright and giant smile, which Dabi returned with a small one. But it didn’t matter. Things were getting better.

The  two stayed in the park until Natsuo had to leave for practice. They catched up as much as they could and even order more donuts, which Natsuo devoured and Dabi only ate one. As they parked in front of Karasuno’s gym, Natsuo gave his brother back his helmet and one last embrace.

“Oh, could you not tell Fuyumi about this? I kind of want to surprise her” Dabi asked the younger man.

“Sure... Hey, before you leave” Natsuo stopped him as he placed the keys on the ignition. “What made you change your mind? On your birthday you weren’t extactly happy to see us...”

Dabi sighed amused. “Shouto annoyed me until I caved” He told him and started the motorcycle. “See ya”

“Shouto, you damn brat...”

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After talking to his brother on Thursday, Dabi knew the easiest part was over. The two people left was Fuyumi and Mom.

He didn’t believe the doctors that took care of his mother would let him see her. And thinking about the woman really messed with his head. So, he would wait to cross that bridge when it came.

But Fuyumi was an issue all on her own.

It wasn’t that he feared she wouldn’t forgive him. What he most feared was her not accepting Touya was gone. He knew that she had still hope Touya would return before they knew about Dabi. And he felt it in his gut that she was not going to trancition Touya to Dabi like his brothers.  

And Dabi couldn’t take it. He didn’t like that part of himself, even if he knew he had meant a lot to his sibblings. He had burried Touya a long time ago. And Shouto and Natsuo had already understood that without much of a fuss.

He really doubted Fuyumi would.

He had called the next day, asking if they could talk and she had invited him to dinner. Shouto was going to spend the weekend with his friends at UA, and Natsuo with his girlfriend. They said they didn’t want to interrupt the moment between them. Really, they were being smart and taking cover from the catastrophy Fuyumi’s and Dabi’s dinner was going to be.

He arrived at the apartment and when Fuyumi opened the door, he knew this was going to be a worse shit-show than he imagined.

Fuyumi had cooked Sukiyaki and Miso Tofu soup. Touya’s favourite dish. That took a lot of time to cook. Like a big, warm, welcome-back present.

Great.

He had barely stepped into the threshold when he came to an abrupt stop. Fuyumi, who was already in the talking about something excitedly, turned confused at him.

“I... Touya,” And suddenly Dabi felt like throwing up. He had to tell her, she deserved to know. But he couldn’t get the worlds out. He was terrified that Fuyumi would only accept Touya and nothing else. “Stop waiting for him,..” He finally said “Touya was gone the moment he ran away. I’m not him anymore. I can't.” He could feel the tears coming “I can’t hold your hand as we come back from school, and I can’t help you with your homework anymore.” He sniffed, willing his eyes to dry out of tears. “I’m Dabi now.”

Fuyumi sniffed and ran to him. The two collided in a mix of limbs. “I don’t care. I’m just happy my big brother, whoever he may be now, is back home and safe” She took his face and leveled him with her, looking directly into his eyes, with tears streaming down their cheeks. "Welcome back home, nii-san"

The two hugged for a while, enjoying the other warmth that they have missed. Once they separated, the two adults talked quietly to the other. about what had happened and how they were going to move on from there. All while they ate Fuyumi’s delicious cooking, accompanied with a glass of wine.

Fuyumi did give permission to Shouto to work in Inferno, but he wasn’t allowed to get any tattooes or pierciengs until he was 18. And she also expected to have a formal dinner with Shigaraki.

“Oh, I asked mom’s therapist and she said that if she reacted well to the news, you should be able to see her”

Dabi swallowed down his nervousness. The last time he had seen his mom, she had screamed like crazy and had pleaded mercy while calling him Enji. That had been a couple of months before Shouto’s accident.

“If you don’t feel ready, we can keep her in the dark but... she misses you a lot”

Dabi regreted what he told her until he got home.

[lonely-full-of-secrets]

Wedding Date (Sweet Pea x Reader)

This is for @riverdale-events‘s Camp Riverdale Session Two Theme 4: Fake Dating with a smidge of Theme 1: Soulmates

Word Count: 7k words

Warnings: bad writing, a curse word or two, kissing, a mention of sex, some angst 

Summary: Sweet Pea needed a date to a wedding. You needed to get an invite to said wedding. 1 craigslist ad and several people to fool. Could you two pull it off?

A/n: This took forever so please let me know how I did. I kind of want to do a part two so if that is something you want stop by my asks or shoot me a message. Also, this got away from me, it started off as a 500 word drabble but somehow we made it here

Masterlist in Bio

Sweet Pea was desperate. He needed a date, like yesterday. Josie was getting married tomorrow and invited all her high school friends from Riverdale. Him included. Even though he was fairly sure he was long over her, he feared going alone. 

That’s pathetic right? Showing up to an ex’s wedding alone? It just screams “I’m still not over you” with a slight chance of “I’ll ruin your wedding”. Not the vibe he wanted to emit. 

Plus he had already RSVP’d for two. He couldn’t not show up with a date. That would only add to the humiliation. 

Something else that is pathetic is desperately trying to score an invitation to said wedding. You dated the groom in college, and you were sure he was your soulmate. You weren’t delusional with ideas that if he saw you there, he would drop his fiancé for you. No, of course not. All you wanted was to see for yourself that the woman he was to wed was good enough for him, that she made him happy. Who could blame you right? You were just looking out for your so-called soulmate.

You tried to see if anyone you knew was going but unfortunately you were shit out of luck. You two just didn’t have any mutual friends anymore. 

You tossed and turned in bed unable to sleep until you hear a notification ping coming from your cell phone.

It was an email from an unknown address with the subject It must be your lucky day. That was odd, you thought. You opened it anyway and the only thing in the body of the email was a single link to a Craigslist ad.

You debated opening it. What if it was a virus? Your thumb hovered over the link for a few minutes before you finally decided to take the plunge and click the link.

Not a virus. Not a virus at all. Instead it was what you were desperately praying for. An ad for a date to a wedding. The wedding you needed an invite for. Bless whoever sent you this link. This was your last chance considering the wedding was tomorrow.

You quickly sent a response asking if he still needed a date for the wedding. You really hoped whoever this was would see your message in time. 

Sweet Pea was having trouble sleeping as well. His stomach was full of dread that he even started creating different scenarios in his head to try and get out of going. Maybe he could fake being sick? No, everyone will see right through that and know something was up. 

Maybe he could jump in front of a car. That would cause him to go to the hospital and give him a proper excuse, right? But then he thought about how painful that would be and not to mention expensive. So that’s a no. 

That’s when his phone dinged. It was an email. Someone responded to his wedding date ad. Even a week after he posted it, it had gotten him zero responses. He later added that he was willing to pay someone to go if they could pose as a convincing date. Emphasis on the convincing part. 

He didn’t want to take just any lunatic but at this point he was so desperate and this was the only response he had gotten. He guessed something was better than nothing.

He wrote back that he was still indeed in need of a date. He made sure to ask if you had any concerns since the whole situation was not ideal. A few minutes later, he received your response.  

The email contained all your information plus a photo of you and what you are willing and not willing to do for this date. He smiled as he looked over your photo and wondered for a second if he was being catfished. You didn’t look crazy. You looked normal, beautiful even. He wondered why you answered his ad in the first place. Did you need the money? He could think of no other logical explanation, but he was sure you had your reasons.

He accepted your terms and sent you a designated meet up time and place he would be picking you up from. Sweet Pea wanted to meet you first to get a feeling of what to expect from this strange transaction.

You were nervous. Of course you were. You were meeting a total stranger to be his date. You didn’t know what to expect. He could be a total psycho for all you knew. Which is why you carried your pepper spray and taser in your small bag. You can never be too careful.

As you waited for him to arrive, you felt greatly out of place in the coffee shop. It was currently filled with a group of students, presumably studying, wearing very casual clothing. You with your hair styled, make-up done while wearing a dress and heels, stuck out like a sore thumb which only added to your anxiousness. 

Another reason you were nervous is due to the fact that you have no idea what this guy even looks like. You sent him a picture of yourself so he should be able to find you easily. You scold yourself for not asking him for a picture. It doesn’t really matter to you what he looks like, but it would have put your mind more at ease knowing who to look out for. 

When Sweet Pea entered the coffee shop, he was instantly able to pick you apart from the rest of the patrons. You were even more beautiful in person. There was this glow about you, almost ethereal. He couldn’t help but feel a small bubbling in his stomach. He blamed his nervousness. 

You were on your phone scrolling aimlessly when you hear an unsure voice call your name. You turn to find an incredibly handsome man wearing a powder blue dress shirt. You took in his appearance and instantly noticed how tall he is. You notice a tattoo peeking out from under his collared shirt, the first two buttons are undone, and his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows exposing the veins on his forearms. He has a strong muscular build. His clothes hugging him perfectly making him absolutely drool worthy. 

You could also see the way his eyes were completely fixed on yours. It felt as if he could see right into your soul. His eyebrows suddenly rose in uncertainty. 

You had been staring at him in awe for a while that you don’t register him talking. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked if you were okay with that?”

“Yeah” you say a little breathless. You had no idea what you were agreeing to but you just went along with it and hoped for the best as he led you to his car. 

Before getting in you said, “I hope this dress is okay.” 

To which he replied with, “You're perfect.” You raised your eyebrows and laughed. “I mean, it's perfect.” You didn’t say anything but smiled to yourself as you got in. 

As he drove you to the wedding venue, things were pretty quiet. Not so much awkward, but dull silence. You thought maybe you should get to know more about him. For one, you were dying to know what such a beautiful man was doing posting an ad to get a wedding date? He was gorgeous. Surely he could have taken anyone he wanted but here you were hired to accompany him. 

“You’re staring” he mumbles, keeping his eyes on the road. 

“I’m curious is all” you reply still looking at him. 

He huffs out a laugh, “Ok I’ll bite. What pray tell has you so curious?”

You paused for a second unsure if you should even ask. He didn’t owe you any sort of explanation. You were there for one reason and one reason only. Everything else was just background noise. 

Sweet Pea finally turned and looked in your direction worried about the sudden silence on your part. But you looked fine. A little deep in thought but fine nonetheless. 

“I’m just wondering why someone like you has to pay for a date?” 

He tensed, squeezing the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. You didn’t notice. “Someone like what?” he asked, managing to keep his tone neutral. 

You laughed thinking it was blatantly obvious. “You don't need me to tell you that you are an attractive man, it’ll stroke your ego”

He relaxed his hold on the steering wheel, turned to you and smirked. “Maybe it needs to be stroked”

You felt your face heat up so you looked away. You hadn’t anticipated that answer. After you recomposed yourself you asked, “I’m serious. I was obviously a last minute addition considering we agreed to this, what like twelve hours ago?” You look at him challengingly

He sighed giving in fairly quickly which surprised even him. “Josie, the bride. I had a fling with her in high school. Just didn't want to show up alone and make it weird.”

You furrowed your brows. “If it was just a fling why does it matter? It’s not like you were in love with her.”

Sweet Pea scrunched his face and groaned. You really did hit the head on the nail with that one. 

“Wait. Seriously?” This could potentially complicate things.  

“I mean, I wouldn’t say I was in love with her but I wanted more than she was willing to give me and…” he couldn't finish his thought. They were old wounds that didn’t need to be opened up. He was long over Josie. 

After a second you tsked. “I know the feeling.” 

It seemed you and Sweet Pea actually had something in common. You were both attending an ex’s wedding. Only he didn't know that and you didn't plan on telling him. Your reasoning for going was pretty pathetic while his was at least understandable. 

“What about you?” he asked. 

“Hm?” 

“Why answer my ad?”

“Oh. Um… I’m actually a struggling actress.”

He gives you a is that so look.

"I haven't been able to book many gigs” you admit. “Or any at all. So I thought I could use the practice,” Sweet Pea nods in understanding, “and the money of course. A girl’s got rent to pay” you smile. 

Sweet Pea believes you. He doesn’t have a reason to doubt you and it kind of makes you feel bad for taking advantage of him. You didn’t need the money and you would have done this for free anyway. That is how desperate and pathetic you felt. 

“Opportunist I see.” He smirks. 

“I have to be in my line of work.” It’s true. It’s a cutthroat world out there. 

He parks the car and you both get out.

“Ready?” he asks. 

“I act for a living. The question is are you ready?” you ask because you can see sweat dot his forehead and he looks as if he might hurl. 

He wipes away the sweat and takes a deep breath. “I think so.” More like he hopes so. 

You thought it was kind of cute that he was nervous. It wasn’t something you expected from him. “Ok just remember to relax.” You place a hand on his arm. “I’m here to help you. You’re not doing this alone.” 

You feel some of the tension leave his body as he relaxes under your touch. It’s odd but Sweet Pea finds it easy to be with you, you pull him in close and you instruct him on how to make it all seem believable. 

Most of the wedding guests are not people Sweet Pea knows. He only knows his fellow people from Riverdale. He doesn’t know how they’d react to you. As far as they knew he wasn’t dating anyone. 

Right before the entrance to the ceremony he stopped walking and you were left confused as to why he had stopped. 

“Sweet Pea?” you asked.

“I can’t do this.” he said. “They’ll all know this is fake. I didn't even come up with a cover story as to who you are. If my friends start asking…”

You interrupt him before he could have a complete meltdown. “Don’t worry” you say rubbing his back. “I’m very good at improvising. We got this” you reassured. “Just follow my lead.”

He nods. “Ok, I think I can do that. I have some acting experience under my belt as well. I was the lead in the Heathers Musical in high school. I can do this.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Were you really?” you were impressed. This might just be easier than you originally thought. 

He smiled a bit embarrassed at what he revealed. “Yeah.” He feigned nonchalance. 

You laugh. “If this ends well. I’m going to need to see pictures or else I won't believe you. Better yet, you can sing for me.”

That seemed to relax him again. “It was a long time ago. Don't get ahead of yourself. First lets get through the ceremony, that's the easiest part. The reception is where the real challenge is.” He seemed more himself. 

“Then let's get a move on,” you pull him towards the meadow where the other guests have already taken their seats. 

You found your way to a pew on the bride's side despite not knowing her. The one you did know was the groom. But it would have been weird to sit on his side anyway, he didn’t even know you were here. 

Sweet Pea decided on staying a bit further back than his friends. He didn’t think he could handle them bombarding him with questions just yet. He only just managed to keep his cool. 

Even though he appeared better he hadn’t let go of your hand. It was a bit warm and sweaty but you didn’t mind. It actually felt quite nice. 

It was almost time to start and that’s when you saw him. You squeezed Sweet Pea’s hand when you did. If he thought it unusual, he didn’t comment on it. 

This was the first time you’d seen him in what seemed like forever. He looked just as handsome as the day you met only older and with a beard. He seemed on edge but not in a bad way. 

The wedding took place in the evening, the sun was setting as the couple shared their first kiss as husband and wife. It was very beautiful, if only you could ignore the pang of jealousy that rests heavy on your heart.

The reception was held just down the way from where the ceremony took place. It too was outdoors with the darkening sky as the backdrop. The place was decorated with beautiful lights making the whole place look like a dream. 

You walked in and took your seats. All seemed to be going well until Sweet Pea’s friends gathered at the table. He introduced you to his best friend Fangs, Toni and her girlfriend Cheryl. They all seemed nice but then they asked how the two of you met.

His immediate answer was, “at a party” while you said, “Through a friend”. You nervously look at each other but this only rose suspicion from his friend. Toni quirked an eyebrow waiting for you to continue. Cheryl looked bored and Fangs was oblivious. 

Then he changed his answer to, “through a friend” as you said, “at a party.” You mentally cursed yourself and Sweet Pea. He was supposed to follow your lead. 

Toni smirked and her eyes gleamed, having seemed to have caught you two in the lie. “Is that so?”

You two looked at each other again and despite stumbling over your answers, it was obvious what the next words out of both of you were. “At a party, through a friend.”

Toni didn't seem convinced but then before she could get another word in, Betty came and hugged you. 

“I’m so glad you made it” she said aloud. The added in your ear, “I was afraid I’d sent you the ad too late.” So it was Betty who sent you the link. 

Sweet Pea was beyond confused. What the hell did he get himself into? Maybe you really can’t see crazy from just looking at someone. He was under the impression that you were only doing this for the money. 

“Betty! It’s been so long, how are you? I was just about to tell everyone how you introduced me and Sweet Pea at a party a couple years ago.” 

She gave you a questioning look but quickly caught on as she realized you had a pleading look on your face. 

She shook her head as if clearing it. “Right, sorry it was so long ago I almost forgot.”

Sweet Pea was still quiet trying to process what was going on and Toni noticed.

“Is that how it happened Sweet Pea?” she asked as she stared him down. Oh no, you had a feeling she might actually be the one to crack him. You had managed to get this far, you weren’t about to let it go to shit now. 

Betty felt bad for having to leave but she didn’t know your cover story. She didn’t want to accidentally ruin it so she excused herself saying she needed to find Jughead. 

His continued silence piqued the interest of Cheryl. “Sweet Pea?” 

“Hm? Oh. Yeah. That is how it happened, Toni” he said slightly annoyed giving off the impression he was offended. “We didn’t get along at first and…”

You interrupted him incase he said something you couldn’t take back. “We didn’t stay in contact, obviously” you looked to him to make sure he was getting on the same page as you. “But we bumped into each other at a coffee shop a while back” a while being a few short hours, “and seeing a familiar although annoying face was just what I needed.”

Sweet Pea thought back to how you looked when he first saw you. “Yeah. She looked so sad,” he said without really thinking. Her beauty was obvious but now that he thought about it, you did look kinda sad. 

You didn’t know he had noticed that. Just before he had arrived you were thinking about how your soulmate was marrying someone else today. “I wouldn’t say I was sad” you paused. “Maybe a bit nervous?” you added. 

“Oh? Nervous for what?” asked Fangs finally piping into the conversation. Or slight interrogation since Toni was still seemed suspicious.

“A job interview, of sorts” you said. Which wasn’t technically a lie. You were set to meet up with Sweet Pea to see if you could pull off being his date.

“You had that audition that day right?” Sweet Pea added. You both seemed to be getting better at this improvising together thing. 

“Yes.” You looked to him and gave him a reassuring smile letting him know he was doing really well. 

“Audition?” 

“Mmmhh, I’m an actress.”

As soon as those words left your mouth, you knew you were going to regret them. Both Toni and Cheryl had that ‘gotcha’ face.

“I knew it! Sweet Pea did you hire this poor girl to be your date?” Toni tutted in disappointment. 

Cheryl chimed in “That really is low even for you Sweet Pea” in a tone that sounded a bit condescending. 

Meanwhile, Fangs was finally putting two and two together as he remembered about the ad. 

You and Sweet Pea blanche. This was it, you had been caught. He thought he might as well come clean but then turned around those thoughts and tried a different tactic. 

“You got me” he said as if he was admitting defeat after getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

You quickly picked up and said, “Damn. I swear I thought we’d be more convincing than this.”

“Oh my god. So it's true? He really did hire you?” asked Toni. 

Sweet Pea sighed but you continued. “Yes. The truth is. We met only a few hours ago. He came in these incredibly tight clothes” you lightly scratch down his chest, “and I just couldn’t help myself. We had sex in his car.”

Sweet Pea blushed, Fangs’ jaw dropped, Toni was stunned, and Cheryl eyed you two but nodded. “That explains the hair,” she was quick to point out. Of course she would think it’s sex hair. However, it was a bit of a mess due to Sweet Pea nervously running his hands through his hair all evening. 

You bite your lip to suppress a laugh. 

“Afterwards I asked her if she wanted to come to a wedding. We didn’t have much time but we made it in time.” He smiles down at you, wraps his arm over your shoulder and pulled you close. 

Fangs nods. Toni is still shocked. Cheryl looks over your dress, “And that explains the outfit.” You were baffled at her comment but kept your mouth shut. 

Deciding that the game was over, you said, “Seriously though, why would Sweet Pea hire me? Do we not make a cute couple?”

Toni and Cheryl gave each other a guilty look but Fangs had a feeling he knew what you two were up to. 

“Sorry. It’s just that we’ve never heard anything about you and we knew this day might be hard for him. Our mistake.” They seemed embarrassed and quickly dismissed themselves. 

After they walked off, it was just you and Sweet Pea again, he led you to the open bar with his hand on the small of your back as you two burst into fits of laughter. You cannot believe you actually pulled that off. 

Once the laughter wore off his face grew serious. He leaned into you and whispered, “You lied to me.”

You sigh, “I did.” You really didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t ever supposed to find out. You were supposed to be his convincing wedding date, see your ex and at the end of the night he’d pay you and you’d never see him again. 

“Why? I told you why I needed a date. But you lied to me. You told me you were a struggling actress.” He looked genuinely hurt about being lied to.

You scrunched your face and groaned. Sure, you felt bad but you couldn’t take it back now. “Technically that's not a lie.”

He shook his head and called for the bartender to order a drink. “I don't like liars.”

Maybe you should have just been upfront about it. Maybe he would have understood.

Suddenly, you look up from across the room and see him. All smiles. He seemed to be glowing in happiness and his bride was the same as everyone cheers for them. 

He wondered why you had paused and followed your line of sight. At first Sweet Pea was curious as to why the bride and groom had gotten your attention. He looked at them. They looked unimaginably happy in their wedding bliss, it seemed as if they saw nobody else but each other. 

As he watched them he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. He wasn’t pining over Josie anymore but he couldn’t help but wonder why. Why couldn’t she ever look at him the way she looked at her new husband. Would anyone ever look at him that way?

He looked back over to you. Your body tense, your face expressionless but your eyes held that same sadness he noticed at the coffee shop. He recognized it as pain. The pain was masked well, but not that well. It’s the kind of pain you have when love isn’t returned and even though you wish them nothing but happiness you can’t help but feel as if your heart had just been stomped on. 

Sweet Pea was slowly piecing it together. “How exactly did you find my ad again?”

His question pulled you out of your thoughts. “Hm? Oh, umm… I think Betty may have sent it to me.” 

He questions you, “And how do you know Betty?”

You tear your gaze off the bride and groom and look at Sweet Pea. “College. She was my roommate freshman year.”

The bartender brings over your drinks. He ordered a few of shots and he slid one over to you.

You eyed him cautiously. He rolls his eyes, “We’re about to eat anyway. Come on.” He downs his first shot.

You say what the hell and just down it too. Then you go back to your seats just as the servers are bringing out the food. 

“Tell me. What's so good about him?” Sweet Pea asks. He managed to clue it together when he remembered your earlier words about knowing how it felt to not have feelings returned. He asked because he really wanted to know why you would want to come to ex’s wedding, on purpose. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t have come but everyone said it was ok and he even spoke to Josie who asked him if there were no hard feelings. Of course Sweet Pea said no but as soon as those words left his mouth it left a bad taste in his mouth. 

A server passed with some champagne and you waved him over. You brought the glass to your lips, avoiding Sweet Pea’s gaze. He raised his brows at you waiting for you to answer. “I feel so stupid just thinking it” you take a long drink. 

“So you’re not over your ex?” he asks. 

“It's not like that.”

“What’s it like then?” he challenged.

You continue to avoid meeting his eyes and shake your head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Despite what you may think of me, I’m actually a pretty understanding guy. And when I want to, I can be a good listener too.” This time he smiles softly and encouragingly. 

You side eye him before downing the rest of your drink. “Okay but, don't laugh,” pointing your finger at him in warning. 

He pressed his lips into a thin line to stop himself from smiling but nodded for you to go on. 

What harm could telling him do now? You just wanted to rip the bandaid off and get the conversation out of the way. 

You set down your glass and faced him. “He was my first college boyfriend. My first real boyfriend.” Slightly shaking your head as you thought about it. 

“We were together maybe three months? I don’t remember but I was head over heels for this guy. We had so much in common. He liked going to all the same places I did, we had the same favorite foods and movies. It was like we were meant to be. Like we were… soulmates.” You gauge his reaction and find that he’s looking at you as if with concern. “What? I really think,” you caught yourself, “thought, we were soulmates.”

That piqued his interest. “Thought?”

 You shrugged. “I don't know. Seeing them together, it just made me think that maybe he was never really my soulmate. Maybe I was just too caught up in my first love to really see it.”

Sweet Pea just hums in understanding but he didn’t quite know what to say. So he went with, “Wow… you were right. I don’t understand.” His tone had a teasing edge to it that you couldn't keep the smile off your lips. 

“Look we all make mistakes when it comes to love. It’s just life.”

You sigh but don’t say anything, getting too lost in your own thoughts. 

“You know, you could have just told me this when I told you about Josie. It would have made me feel a lot better to know you weren’t a complete basket case.”

“You thought I was crazy?” you ask. 

He laughs. You notice the crinkles surrounding his eyes as he does so. “Oh I still do. Totally bonkers! Man, I fear for my safety.” At a passing server he asked, “Excuse me, do you know this woman she says she’s my date but I don’t know her.” The man ignored him and kept walking. 

You laugh too as you swat his arm lightly, partly because he was mocking you and partly because at one point you thought about the possibility of him being loony as well. “I’m sorry. Okay.” When the laughter between you died down you added, “I just didn’t want to seem…”

“Pathetic?” you nod. “That makes two of us.” By then, the food had been served and you had more drinks in front of you. He raises his glass. “Cheers.”

“What are we cheering to?”

“To being pathetic. We’re both at our exes wedding. And we’re both still single.” Sweet Pea scoffed a laugh, shook his head, and took a long swig of his drink. 

You took a long swig of your drink as well seeing as how Sweet Pea’s words rang too true.

“I had to post an ad to get a date, and you had to answer it to be here. I think we’re both pretty pathetic right now. How much worse can it get?”

After dinner and a few more drinks, you and Sweet Pea were getting more comfortable around each other, you were having fun but anytime any of you even looked at the bride and groom those feelings of inadequacy returned which really dampened the mood quite a bit.

During the couples’ first dance you two stepped out, away, not wanting to see that. It felt nice being alone without the chaos of the reception. Though you could still softly hear the music and people laughing.

You two held hands as he led you somewhere you couldn’t be seen.

“Uh oh, is this where you kill me?” you joke.

“Only if I wanted to kill you with kisses” he admits. 

You giggled unsure if it had to do with the alcohol you consumed or the company you were keeping. “Oh that was so smooth.”

He shrugs and shines his oh so cocky yet charming smile. “Lets dance, yeah?”

You bring your arms up around his neck while his hands go to your hips. You sway softly to the barely audible music and just look into each other's eyes. He really was very handsome and it still baffled you that he had trouble finding a date to this wedding. 

Sweet Pea was just thanking the stars, and Betty, for sending you that email link to his ad because he was really glad it was you he brought. He couldn’t imagine being here with anyone else. 

Everything just seemed to be working out. It’s been fun if you were being honest. 

“You know, I thought I'd be more upset.”

“About what,” he asked.

“About finding out he was never my soulmate. It definitely hurts to see them together. But I’m not too broken up about it, you know?”

He nodded but still asked, “What changed?”

You think about it for a second but come up blank. “I don’t know, but I’m glad it did.”

He looked up at the reception and asked, “Do you think we”ll ever have something this?

You follow his gaze, “We will. I mean who wouldn’t want us? We’re great catches. You managed to find a date, I managed to get in via plus one, and we didn’t ruin the wedding. I’d count that as a success.”

You both just laugh as you continue to sway back and forth. You stayed like that for another while longer just swaying, smiling and looking into each others eyes in complete comfortable silence. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to be in this stranger's arms. Only he didn’t feel like a stranger. He felt warm and safe. Dare you say, he felt like home. 

Out of the corner of your eye you spot some movement, you try to ignore it but then you hear a giggle getting closer so you snuck a quick glance at who was coming your way. That was when you spotted the bride and groom heading straight for the two of you. 

“Don’t freak out” he quickly raised his eyebrows, “but the bride and groom are heading our way.”

“What?” he whisper yelled. He was about to pull away but you held onto him tightly against you. 

You smile and giggle as if he just told you something funny. He looks at you strangely. You tell him, “We’re being watched.”

He looks concerned. He just knows Josie will see right through him and figure it all out and then the two of you will look like fools. 

“Do you trust me?” you ask.

He nods and follows your lead. 

“Look at me. Breathe in and slowly exhale. We got this. Relax. Now smile softly.”

He tries but appears pained yet you can't help but smile at his attempts. “Don’t look so scared Sweet Pea, I promised I wouldn’t kill you.”

That got him to relax a bit more. They were still a little ways away. You cupped his handsome face into your hands. 

“It’s time to put those acting skills to work, okay?”

He brought his hands on top of yours. Then he grabs your left hand and presses a gentle kiss on the palm of it. It gave you butterflies but you couldn’t dwell on that just yet. You were on a mission to deliver the best performance of your life. 

In the softest voice you could muster, you began. “Look at me as if you were experiencing the sunset for the first time. In a world with dull blacks and whites, the sunset is the first burst of soft colors you see. The swirling of pinks, purples and oranges.” 

You can see the start of a loving smile on his face. It suited him. He was starting to look more at peace than he had the entire evening. You continue, “Look at me like a parent seeing their newborn child for the first time. Happy that they are alive and healthy. Look at me like I’m your greatest love. Your soulmate.” 

Now his smile was so wide that it seemed to meet his eyes. “Like I just told you I love you for the first time.” 

As he continues to smile, his gaze briefly slides down to your lips before looking you in the eye again. To think that he wants to kiss you is so very tempting yet he seems unsure of himself. He knows he wants to kiss you. He’s been wanting to since he first saw you but he didn’t know if that was something you wanted. 

Sure, you’d been actively flirting with him but maybe you were just that good of an actress. Maybe you were just using your skills and he was falling for the wrong person, again. 

You could see his internal dilemma. He wanted to kiss you but he was holding back. Here he was being a true gentleman. Not every man in this situation would do the same. Some would have felt entitled for more but not Sweet Pea. 

It had been a long time since you had dated and you’ve seen people genuinely care about you but the look on his face was different. It was as if you had spoken life into the words you were describing to him just a few seconds ago. He was looking at you as if you were his whole world. 

Nobody had ever looked at you with such intensity. It made your heart tighten and your stomach flutter. You haven’t known this man for more than a few hours and already you felt a much deeper connection to him than the man you thought was your soulmate for years. 

You had to take that chance right? This kind of connection is what most people only dream of having. Who were you to let that slip through your fingers simply because you two had just met?

You leaned up to him and brought your lips together in a slow and sensual kiss. 

The two of you hadn’t noticed how much time had gone by until you heard someone cough in an attempt to get your attention. You pulled apart, slightly out of breath, and a bit embarrassed you had been so caught up in the moment. 

The bride and groom stood a few feet from you. His arm wrapped around his new wife’s waist as his eyes fell on you and it took a second for him to recognize you. 

Just before he could say anything, Josie unwraps herself from him and goes to give Sweet Pea a hug. “I’m so glad you came.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it” he lied. “It’s not everyday you get to show off that you know a star.” 

“Speaking of showing off. Is this your girlfriend?”

“No” you elbow him. “I mean yes. Sorry, I meant no as in...”

“Its ok,” you say to Sweet Pea as you take his nervous hand in yours. “We’re still figuring things out. It’s pretty new.” Hours actually, not that it was real but you really wanted it to be. 

“It’s a small world.” Josie’s new husband finally chimed in. “Fancy seeing you here” he told you. 

“Yeah.” This time it was your turn to lie. “I didn’t know whose wedding this was when I got invited. All I knew was that it was an old friend of Sweet Pea’s.” You turned to look at him with a shy smile. 

“Wait,” Josie looked between you and her husband. “You two know each other?”

You had no idea what he would say. He could straight up lie and say you were just friends or that you had a class together in college. In fact, you were prepared for the lie but it never came. “Me and Y/n briefly dated as freshman.”

Josie seemed surprised at the revelation. “Oh.”

To you, it felt more than ‘briefly’ but apparently to him it was something he had long ago forgotten. “Right. Briefly.” Had you heard him say that any other time it would have really stung but for some reason it didn’t. Maybe it had to do with the fact that you can see how happy he is now or the fact that you are having unusually strong feels for the man whose hand is currently in yours. 

“We had a general ed class together. That’s how we met. We had so much in common. Maybe too much, that's why we ended things.” He looked down at his wife. 

That is not exactly how you remembered things. You distinctly remember him saying that you two just wouldn’t work out in the long run and that you would be better off as friends, but it definitely wasn’t a mutual breakup. He made the decision all on his own and you had no choice but to go along with it. What were you supposed to do? Beg him to give you another chance? That really wasn’t your style. 

“I know I have my moments but it would be too vain to would want to date myself” he joked and Josie laughed. A real laugh, not just because she wanted to make him feel better about his obviously lame joke. He looked back to you. “Now that I think about it, I don’t understand why we didn’t stay friends.” 

You shrugged, “Different majors I guess. We sort of just lost touch.” 

It was quiet for a few seconds as nobody knew what to say, a slow fog of awkwardness surrounding you. 

“Congratulations on the wedding. Really, it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you” they said at the same time and looked into each others eyes and giggled like shy teenagers in love. It was really weird to watch. 

“It really was lovely, Josie. I’m so happy for you” Sweet Pea said. 

She smiled. “Thank you Sweet Pea. That means a lot.” Before the awkward silence could seep back through she pointed out the question you and Sweet Pea had been dreading. “Ok so, me and Sweet Pea know each other from our hometown. You two met in college,” she points to you and her husband. “But how do you and Sweet Pea know each other?” 

It was an automatic answer. Too automatic that it sounded rehearsed. “At a party, through a friend.” 

This time you and Sweet Pea laughed it off. “Betty introduced us” said Sweet Pea. 

She laughed. “Ah, Betty. Always the matchmaker.” Which was totally true. She loved being in love with her high school sweetheart that she wanted everyone to have a taste of what she had. 

Finally Josie’s new husband spoke up. “Honey, we should get back before your mother thinks I’ve dragged you off for some pre-honey moon activities.”

She rolled her eyes and groaned, “You’re right, I swear that woman has been such a bridezilla about everything and it’s not even her wedding.”

“Cut her some slack, she just wanted her only daughter to have the perfect wedding.” He turns to you and Sweet Pea, “It was really great to see you and we hope you enjoy the rest of the reception.”

They waved and said goodbye and when you and Sweet Pea were finally alone again you both were able to breathe freely and after a second you both started cracking up. You two did it. You managed to get through the entire wedding and an interaction with the bride and groom without completely falling apart. 

After the laughter subsided, you realized you two were still holding hands as you both smiled at each other. It was a pretty quiet save for the crickets chirping in the night and the soft sounds coming from the reception. 

“You wanna go dance in there?” he nods towards where the dancefloor is located. “As my date real date to this wedding?”

 You smile brightly and he pulls you by your intertwined hand and you feel that same fluttering in your stomach you’ve been feeling almost all night. You don’t know how you got this lucky to be here. 

Sweet Pea turned to you and winked. He definitely was a charmer and you were already a sucker for it. 

[jbbuckybarnes]

Distant Connection - 4/11

Pairing: Bucky x Harmonia (OC) Warnings: a bit of angst, a lot of domestic fluff Summary: After an unknown group of goons took her mom’s life and tried to get her for the dark magic powers she possesses, this untaught witch is saved by the Avengers and brought to the compound where her new life unfolds.

MASTERLIST || Distant Connection Masterlist

It was 7am and he slept approximately 2 hours out of 7. He went down the hallway to Harmony’s room to maybe get a little bit more rest with her in his arms. She was like a pill against every PTSD symptom for him. Except for the occasional panic attack. He opened the door silently like the assassin he was trained to be and saw her all spread out in her bed. It was chaotic in her room since she was still getting used to being here. His eyes fell onto the notebook on her desk. There was a painting of his metal hand resting on top of the book laying on his lap. A scene from a from a few hours earlier. He silently grabbed the sketchbook and read the note under it. *This is what makes you human ❤* A soft smile made its way into his face. He flipped backwards and saw a sketch of her in Steve’s style with a note in his handwriting under it. Slowly, he continued the journey through all the pages. Each page holding a special emotion. A watercolor of Steve with the words *stay safe*, detailed little flowers, the common area with *this is where the biggest dorks on earth meet* written below it, a painting of him with black eyes and a smile and his words *I don’t want you to destroy yourself to help others*, blue magic - *getting better at this*, a sketch of him sleeping with the note *You look like you are yourself when you sleep ❤*, an unfinished sketch looking like a gruesome scene with a *I’m so sorry I couldn’t keep you safe*, another sketch of him including a short *You feel like home ❤*, a sketch of the library in the compound - *study area*, sketches of clothing, two people hugging - *human connection never changes*, more little girly sketches, two people kissing - *someday.*

It clearly was chronological and it almost made him cry to see her quote their conversations in the notes. Especially the one under the painting of him with black eyes. He shook his head, men like him don’t cry...at least that what he was trying to make himself believe. He looked at the desk with supplies all over it and decided to sit down and also draw her something even if it looked horrible. He really put effort into drawing their hands from a few hours earlier when he realized he was completely falling for her. He put a little arrow to her hand *small cute hand* and an arrow to his *giant metal hand* and wrote a little note after he finished *my little witch - thank you for making me feel like the person I am ❤* After looking behind him and still seeing her sleep he decided to go back to his room again. He won’t be sleeping after seeing her sketches anyway.

She woke up at 10am with the first thing coming to her mind being his emotional state she could sense with her powers yesterday. It threw her off so much that he felt so intensely loving towards her. She put on different clothes, showered and got ready and while she put her art supplies back into her little bag she saw a new page opened in her sketchbook. She inspected it further and saw a semi-good sketch of two hands and the note *my little witch - thank you for making me feel like the person I am ❤* “He saw everything in this sketchbook with the little notes.” She whispered in shock. She didn’t know if she should be mad at him for looking through her things or if she should be thankful ‘cause he seemed to feel the same way she did. Safe, connected, a little bit in love. The latter making her shudder at its unrealness. Nobody ever made her feel so at home and deeply connected in such a short amount of time. Harmony smirked as her brain formed a little plan.

She opened and closed her door loudly which made the boys down her hallway look outside their doors. “James Buchanan Barnes!” She said loud and clear with madness on her face. Steve and Clint looked behind them at James’ face that started to look like a big *Oh shit, what have I done.* “You went through my sketchbook without asking!” She yelled strutting towards him. The other boys clearly excited about someone finally stepping up to the assassin of the century. “I can explain.”He said with wide eyes. “Oh boy, you’re about to get your ass beaten.” Sam yelled from the next hallway and everyone collectively yelled back “Shut up Sam!” She grabbed James’ arm and dragged him to the elevators and into the first one that opened. After the door closed and they went down for a bit she pressed the stop button. “I’m sorry. I was just...I couldn’t sleep anymore and wanted to go to your room to get some more rest and then I saw it laying there wide open and I couldn’t keep my hands off of it.” He was actually afraid of her. The assassin of the century was afraid of her. “I mean it’s nice to see that The Winter Soldier is afraid of me, but I actually just wanted to scare you and tell you that the drawing is actually not that bad and I know that you’re having feelings for me cause I felt your emotions yesterday while doing my magic...and I just wanted to get you in here to do this without Steve being able to hear it.” She said before cupping his face, standing on her tiptoes and connecting their lips. He tasted like coffee and aftershave. His metal hand made its way into her hair while his other hand pressed her body closer to him. They moved apart completely overwhelmed at what just happened. “I should’ve told you when I had the chance yesterday but I didn’t know if it was too early or if you even felt the same and the sketchbook...answered that for me.” He continued to explain. “You’re still scared?” She asked chuckling. “You don’t understand how fucking frightening you look when you’re mad,” he mumbled looking down at her with semi-traumatized eyes. Both of them broke out into laughter before she hugged him. “You really feel like home. You did right from the start.”

With one hand around her waist he leaned forward and undid the emergency stop of the elevator with the happiest smile on his face. They needed to go all the way down before going up again so they had a little bit of time to chat. “You’re so good at art. Better than Steve may I add,” he said, grabbing her hand since she was still standing in front of him. Shortly after, she positioned herself beside him looking towards the elevator door that had just opened shortly after. “I would say we’re both on the same level. You can come to our next art session if you want.” She smiled up at him. “You have art sessions?” He asked confused. “When he went to the tower to be around the school kids I also went there and we just ended up drawing together. That’s why I have a sketch of myself in my notebook.” She had a content and permanent smile now. “Okay, before this thing opens I need to say one last thing,” he said after a short pause, “I didn’t feel like this since the early 40s. I was so confused feeling this. Sorry for concerning you yesterday.” Her thumb went over the back of his hand “Everything’s fine, soldier boy.” “Don’t call me that, little witch,” he said nudging her slightly with a big smile on his face before the elevator made a noise and their faces went back to normal.

The door opened and she rolled her eyes with a quick “Idiot” and a smile. The boys were still standing there and looked at the door opening in sync. “As if she is already back at normal again. I wanted to see him shocked like a deer when the door opens!” Clint joked around. Harmony took her hand away and walked towards them with a soft “You still need to sleep?” towards James which was answered with a headshake. “Your arm’s looking good Stevie,” she said while walking past them and pulling James into her room leaving the two boys with pure confusion. “Is Sam always such a weirdo? He seems fine as soon as you aren’t involved,” she asked him and got a wheeze back. “He likes to tease me here and there. Especially when I’m in trouble or ask for things,” he answered with a smile. “Well, he’s the last person that I’ll befriend here. What are your thoughts about Wanda, Vision and Nat? Better options?” She smiled and grabbed both arms of his. “Definitely better than Sam.” He chuckled putting his hands on her waist and silently kissing her forehead. “What do you think would be the best moment to talk to Wanda?” She asked with a normal voice but clearly gesturing between them and pointing to her door. “I’d wait a while...it’s about timing I guess,” he answered and got a smile back that healed a part of his soul he didn’t know existed. “Wanna train with me a bit?” she asked with a smile grabbing her book bag that she always had with her while doing magic now. “I never say no to watching you create magic.” he smiled back taking her hand with his metal one. She stepped forwards a little to give him a little silent kiss on his cheek “Well, let’s go then.”

This time she felt capable enough to try defense mechanisms with him. Green magic blocked him from getting to her or stopped his hands from moving every time he tried getting too close to “hitting” her. He felt a bit bad trying to hit her in the first place but she wanted to learn how to save herself if she ever was attacked again. She still lived with the fear that they were trying to get her. She currently was sitting on his shoulders after dodging him and looked at him upside down with a giggle “Hi.” “You are a fucking dork.” he smiled before she gave him a little kiss and catapulted him over herself with magic and landed normally. “Ouch.” he said while standing up again and having his metal arm readjusting itself. “You’re too easy to charm soldier boy.” she said with a cute smile on her face. “Don’t get too proud about being my weakness.” he chuckled. “Oh, I’m not. Actually quite the opposite. Never good to have a weakness like me. Means you need to protect it extra good so the person doesn’t get used against you.” she smirked. He stopped in his tracks suddenly feeling suspicion. “Wait…” he said now looking at her in disbelief. “Oh my god, NO! How can you think that! I actually meant what I said.” she yelled after realizing what he thought. “Sorry, I just...you’re looking into my mind like an open book and that sounded off and...there are a lot of cases where this was happening.” he tried to explain. “I could brainwash and kill all of you in seconds if I wanted to. That was never- You know what? Forget it.” she was a little bit upset and walked towards the door but he caught up and hugged her from behind. “You asked me yesterday if I trust you.” he started and moved her so he could look her into her eyes, “I do. I really do. But suspicion is part of my job. Trust is something you build.” he finished. “I trusted you with my life as soon as we talked.” she said still upset. “I do too...shouldn’t have questioned what you said. I’m sorry.” he mumbled against her forehead before kissing it.

After a long hug she broke the silence with a “Can I punch you? You kinda deserve it right now.” He broke into laughter “Sure, your tiny hands won’t do much without magic.” “Those tiny hands still know where it hurts. And those tiny elbows too.” she said punching his throat, turning, pressing her elbow into his sternum and pressing him to the ground from his crouched position. “I know you didn’t defend yourself because you don’t wanna hurt me but that was kinda fun.” she giggled with him laying on the floor looking up at her with a weak smile. “Where did you learn that?” he asked genuinely interested switching to laying on his back. “Self defense class. Had enough time to think about where to hit you. And you didn’t wear any protection. I wish you did cause these legs can kick.” she smiled. “Want me to teach you more of that if you ever need it in an actual spontaneous situation?” he asked sitting up. “Sure, but don’t get too turned on.” she said with a wink knowing how close they would be for next hour or two. “I have you on me like a koala 50% of the time. Do you really think I can’t control myself?” he said rolling his eyes. She got close and whispered “I’m unconscious 90% of that time, remember?” to tease him. The next two hours were filled with body warmth, punches and little kisses.

“Imma steal away all the lunch so you won’t get it.” she said in a childish tone as they left the training room and started running with a giggle. “I’ll get you!” he said daring and since he knew he was about thrice as fast as her if he really tried but he held himself back to match her speed. He grabbed her waist just before she could reach the door of the common area and threw her over his back which was matched with a squeal. He walked into the room with an unfazed look on his face and her squealing “James, that’s not fair play. Let me down!” The team mates that were in the room eating looked at this scene with surprise and James looked at them with a proud smirk. “How about I eat all the pasta by myself and you don’t get anything because I won.” he said with full asshole mode and a smile. The whole room went silent before he could feel his underwear being pulled up way too high and a round of laughter from the table behind him. “Don’t mess with a witch, she will always find a way.” Wanda said laughing. He let her down in front of him and shook his head “Dork.” She gave a short smile back before turning to the food and hearing the team start talking again. “Can we eat in my room?” she asked as quiet as possible and a little hum came back at her.

They both sat down on her big bed shortly after with their pasta and drinks. Their eyes met with a smile and a small “I love you, you idiot.” from her side before she started eating. It wasn’t a totally serious ‘I love you’ but it still hit him. His eyes didn’t leave her while eating, he was mesmerized by how effortlessly soft she looked while doing anything and he wondered if she would draw something from today. “Everything alright?” she asked after noticing him staring. “Yeah, you’re just...really mesmerizing.” he said softly with a short smile at her. “A witch being MESMERizing.” she giggled and put her empty plate aside before looking at his “Stop staring, start eating. Don’t want you to starve big boy.” she giggled again. He looked down at a half empty plate and continued eating while she grabbed her phone to play with it. There was a pleasant silence in the room and a soft smile on her face while she was scrolling through social media timelines. The only thing audible was the fork hitting the plate from time to time. Until it stopped again and he put the plate onto the other one. She was deep into reading something which gave him the opportunity to hover on top of her out of nowhere. She looked up from her screen “Oh hi! Didn’t see you there giant man.” she giggled and was silenced by a kiss. It was soft but full of passion making her close her eyes and letting her phone fall to the side to reach up to his neck. She answered with more feelings and longing which made his heart burst inside his chest before his kiss got very desperate and full of lust making her moan very softly. He broke the makeout session apart after hearing this, not out of concern, but because he felt it was inappropriate to go that far right now. He didn’t feel like he knew her well and long enough for that. Falling for her and kissing her already had been a process that moved way too fast. She made a sound of discomfort “It just got fun.” she mumbled and earned a loving smile from him. “I need to feel this out again, okay? You deserve all the respectful treating in the world little witch.” he said giving her a little kiss on the nose. “You’re cuter than you look. D’you know that?” she asked him softly and got a little chuckle back “Yeah.”

[pitiless-achilles-wept]

Always Waiting: The Cost of Never Being Done

Hi all,

I kept waiting for a time when I felt like I had time and energy to write and...surprise! It turns out that's not just around the corner when you have a chronic illness and are still working full time (not to mention trying to keep up a social life and maintain all your relationships). But I figure some information is better than none at all, so I'll get through what I can. 

You all remember (I think) that I went to Dana-Farber after my December CT scans showed significant growth of my primary tumor despite the metastatic sites holding steady. I came out of that meeting with two recommendations for clinical trials. One--my top pick--was being run out of Massachusetts General Hospital and Dana-Farber and involved an antibody-drug conjugate (IMMU-132) that has been shown to be super effective for triple-negative breast cancer but which got held up at the FDA approval stage. Doctors are pretty frustrated that the approval is still pending and that the only way to use it is on a trial, but there's hope that it might get approved in the next 6-9 months. The other is being run out of UPenn by the same doctor whose study I was on before and who I really like. It looks at the effect of chemo + an immunological agent vs. just chemo.

There were several reasons to prefer the MGH study (even though it would have necessitated traveling to Boston during the coldest months of the year), among them that I wouldn't have to endure chemotherapy as part of the trial. And it looked for a while as though I was going to be able to join it. It wasn't actively enrolling but there was a spot. I waited, in the days right before Christmas, to hear. And my doctors all worked hard, calling the PI and discussing the option of enrollment at either location. But it didn't work out. Another patient made exactly the same call I would have made--and I cannot fault them for that--and I am several places down on the waiting list. Spots open up when people leave the study, so presumably when their disease worsens or a better treatment option opens up. It only happens every couple of months. Doing the math, it seemed more likely that the drug would get approved by the FDA than that I would get to enroll.

I was pretty angry. And it was hard because there was no single person to be angry at. Not at my doctors, all of whom knew my preference, did all they could, and gave sincere apologies when it didn't work out. And not at the other patient who took the chance that I so hoped I'd be given. If anything, I was angry at the FDA for not approving the drug faster, or at whoever was funding the study for not allowing there to be more than 68 patients on it at any given time. The fact that groundbreaking, life-saving medical research is also a business constantly makes me angry. Sometimes it works in my favor (IMMU-132 will likely get fast-tracked on its second go through the FDA because someone will make money) and sometimes it doesn't (why fund more spots than you need on a clinical trial just because people want to be in it?).

So then there was more waiting. So much of having Stage 4 cancer is a waiting game. Waiting for promising new research directions. Waiting for that research to get funded. Waiting for those studies to enroll and complete. Waiting for FDA approval. Waiting for insurance approval. And, the biggest one by far, waiting to see if it works.

I was home for the holidays, not meant to see an oncologist until mid-January. A third option was proposed, which was staying on the study I had been doing with the PARP inhibitors but first doing a short course of radiation on the breast tumor. When I got home at New Year's I booked in to a radiology consultation, even though I felt a suspicion that it wasn't the best option. (Several oncologists told me that if the PARP inhibitors had stopped working on the initial tumor it was only a matter of time--and likely not much of it--before they stopped working on the metastatic sites too.) After spending nearly an hour with yet another very helpful doctor who had studied the whole history of my case (and a little bit of my research, once I told him what to Google) I saw that I was right. A tumor this size, he said, would only benefit from a pretty lengthy radiation course and we only had a grace period of 2 weeks for me to get back on the PARP study. He reminded me that it would be an option later and wishes me luck.

I'd like to pause here to do something I haven't done before and ask you all a favor. I understand exactly why this happens but please, to help me out, don't ask anymore about why I am not (yet) having surgery or radiation on the tumor. Yes, the primary tumor is the biggest and nastiest and pains me every day. You can be sure I'm also asking that question of my doctors, not only when there's a treatment change but when I tell them that it's hurting me. I know that it seems simplest to just cut it out (even if this means altering my body in a way that I am not eager to do) or try to shrink it. And I know that's why people ask. All the time. ALL the time. Unfortunately, it leaves me feeling defensive--do they not know that I have thought of this option every single day as I carry around the painful, swollen weight of a 6cm tumor?--and like I have to justify my decision. I imagine one or both those things will happen immediately. I have many (medical) reasons for not doing them yet. When I decide to do them, you will know and I will tell you more about why. But it would make me feel a lot better if I knew people weren't going to keep asking. Thank you.

Ok, back to what happened one I decided that radiation was out. Essentially, last week I officially consented to the study that's at Penn and that involves chemo. My first session will be on January 30th. I'll be going every 3 weeks. The agent I'm receiving is one of the oldest (carboplatin) and will be given in a higher dosage than when I went every week. This means it's likely to make me sicker. (The doctors did say that I'd feel worst on days 2-5 and better as the cycle wore on.) No one told me that people tolerate this one especially well and, having been so relatively lucky with side effects before, my worst-case-scenario brain assumes my luck will now be bad and that I will really struggle, lose all my hair, not be able to work, etc. Unhelpfully, although they can speak in averages, no one can predict how anyone will react to chemo. So just...wait. As usual.

To join the study, of course, there are a great many hoops all of which involve trips to Philly. I had a biopsy yesterday (Wednesday) and am spending tomorrow (Friday) getting CT and bone scans. There was an ongoing fight with my insurance company today when I got a phone call first thing in the morning telling me that they had canceled tomorrow's CTs because I didn't have authorization. Without authorization, no CT. Without a CT, no joining the study. Without joining the study, no starting chemo on time (lots of rearranging of my work and ride/support schedule). Lucky for me, my doctor's office was the one to do the calling and arguing. But it's frankly absurd to deny authorization for a CT scan to a documented Stage 4 cancer patient. I cannot even imagine what further information they would need for that one. And if I hadn't been joining a trial there would have been no rush and, likely, I would have been the one calling. The amount of admin involved in being chronically ill is frankly staggering. The end result, luckily, is that I am going in tomorrow.

And that's why I must get to bed. I know I make it sound like swinging by the hospital for a biopsy is no big deal - it's an outpatient procedure with only local anesthetic! I ate Shake Shack afterwards and went to work today! But, in fact, it's stressful to the body as well as the spirit to be on an operating table, numbed up with local anesthetic, and pierced in the lymph node or breast by an ultrasound-guided needle ten times (because you are doing so many studies and they all need research samples). The scans tomorrow will be easier - all I have to do is not eat beforehand, drink barium, lie in an x-ray contraption while having contrast dye injected through the port that's plumbed into my artery...then take a break before being injected with a radioactive tracer that will infuse my bones for a couple hours until I lie perfectly still and have them imaged. Easy, right?

I like to say that this stuff is no big deal--that it's just a lot of waiting in different places. And that's true, to an extent. The CTs don't hurt and they aren't physically demanding (although I'm not great at drinking that much barium milkshake that fast). The bone scan is kind of cool and I plan to wear my "Biohazard" t-shirt. But my normalization of the massive apparatus surrounding being ill and my incorporation of it into my everyday life does, I think, minimize the physical as well as emotional toll I pay each time I have a test or treatment. Not only are those reminders of the insidious disease that has taken so much of my life from my control--I'm not even thinking about that consciously most of the time--it's just all so relentless. There's always another call to make, appointment to keep, symptom to track, bill to pay, person to text or call. I am never, ever done.

On that last item, I do often feel burdened with guilt. I want support, but don't feel that I can always pay it back in the form of updates or thanks to those who so generously give it. But I do hope you all know that I'm here, appreciating each and every piece of it that I get. Social media may not be great for some things but it is wonderful for the small kindnesses that can buoy me up on a tougher day. This has been one, so I'm off to bed. But I send you gratitude and love.

Bex