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#i feel like i shouldn’t—there’s no one at the school watching the story like it’s all just us kids
ldysmfrst · 16 hours
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American Mate (14) - Does it Always End in Ruin? (TEASER)
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Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader
Status: Ongoing series
Chapter number: 14 of unknown
Word count for Chapter: 10,980
Work count for Story: 107,440
Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine
A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs, and the other loves everyone. I started a Patreon, and I would be grateful if you donated to help me make ends meet while I am out of work because I almost died in August of 2024.
Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This chapter does have pack dynamics, Alphas fronting, a scenting session with hints of a panic attack, comfort, possessiveness, angst, and mentions of giving aphrodisiac-laced chocolates to Jungkook without his knowledge. There are also nightmares containing mentions of past trauma, violence, abuse, and threats of death.
BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit
AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST
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You can scent me in the car.
You… can… scent… me… in… the… car…
It’s not like he is gonna do anything untoward– right?
Your body flushes with thoughts of the many ways the scenting session could go “wrong,” like pinning you in the corner against the door and backseat, ravishing your neck in a way that ensures you have a mark that anyone can see.
Following the hyper-focused Prime Alpha of Bangtan Pack to allow him to scent you in a car like you both were some horny teenagers with no control makes the walk through the Gala a blur.  
With how firmly Namjoon holds your hand and guides you with determination, you aren’t the only one feeling it, right?
But what would the rest of the pack think? 
Your mind was going from things that were not safe for work while simultaneously trying to throw on the breaks.
You were too much in your head battling away the thoughts you shouldn’t be having for a mated man, much less a mated man at a public event with other hybrids that you were 100000000% could smell just what you were thinking of. 
MATED MAN!
Your mind is yelling at you, coming through like a spotty radio, while your body is thrumming with the charged atmosphere that now encapsulates the two of you.
You could be making this up and reading into things too much. You did that in high school, which is why you started shying away from skinship. Who wouldn’t after getting humiliated day in and day out about being an attention-seeking fat whore in the cafeteria with no help from the staff?
Whatever, back to the issue at hand. He has mates waiting for him to come home. You should excuse yourself to the bathroom and call one of them. 
Jin would be a good phone call, and he is the oldest. 
Then there is Yoongi, who is almost powerful enough to be the Prime himself. 
Taehyung is supposed to be helping right now; maybe he… he can… Agh! What teleport to the Gala and leave with Namjoon instead of you?
No, you already let Jimin’s Alpha scent you at your packhouse. Jin, Yoongi, and Jungkook intentionally scented you, with permission, in your current bedroom, which means Namjoon should be able to scent you in a car. 
They all have said they want skinship, and you said you would be willing to try. Now get it together, woman!
Besides, you told Hoseok that everyone deserves a second chance. This is Namjoon’s second chance. You have never turned away someone in need before, and clearly, whatever Lee Min Ho did triggered Alpha Joon to come out, and he needs the scenting session to calm down. 
You were their Playmate, which meant supporting the emotional needs of your assigned hybrid(s) was also part of your job.
The next thing you feel is Namjoon letting go of your hand, which brings you out of your internal argument as he drapes your cape over your shoulders. You watch him as he secures the closure and fusses with it to make sure it is lying correctly.
You are searching for anything to tell you exactly where he is with any of this. You notice the rigid set of his jaw, which hasn’t relaxed since you saw him at the start of the dance with Min Ho. His breaths are almost a perfect count of seven in and seven out, which means he is doing that for a reason. 
When he looks at you again, those forest green eyes are dark and piercing. It’s like time freezes; unlike his even breaths, yours seems to be caught. You can see so many emotions moving behind those eyes, but they are flashing so fast, and you don’t know him well enough to tell what they are before they are gone. 
“Prime Alpha, sir, ma’am, your car is here,” says Jen. Startling you like she came out of thin air. Smiling at Jen and moving towards the car, you hear Namjoon speak with her in hushed tones. 
Now that you can breathe again, you take some cleansing breaths before you climb into the car and buckle up. Scenting is simple. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. 
You are in a car, for god’s sake.
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As a paid member of my Patreon, you can read the whole chapter now with the early release benefits!
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parkersgnome · 1 day
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⭐️Mima Rants⭐️
I remember coming across slideshow on tik tok this about a year ago, and even *I* (as someone who used to be grossed out by proshipping) thought was ridiculous…
This is the title of the slideshow.
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Just a heads up guys, just like our favorite ships, None of these stories are real.
And if they were based on actual events, wouldn’t it make more sense to make a video about that instead of making up shit that never happened?
But, Let’s go through each of these as if they were real stories, shall we?
First one
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“Caleb uses the internet to deal with his trauma”, Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there.
Isn’t “Staying off the internet is beneficial for your mental health” something we learned in, idk, fucking grade school? Cyber safety PSAs in middle school? Something that dozens of people have screeched from the top of their lungs since social media was invented?
Who the heck told him that being on the internet was going to help with his trauma and improve his mental health???
His feelings are valid, I get that. He has every right to be disturbed by Sage’s writings and fantasies. However, it seems that Sage isn't encouraging these actions in real life and keeps them strictly within fiction. As long as it’s in text or art, Sage has every right to express his fantasies.
Anyways, Caleb should seek a better therapist who can teach him better coping mechanisms like going out for walks, yoga, baking, or some other fourth thing instead of browsing social media where there’s a good chance he can run into something that makes him uncomfortable.
Next one…
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“Jackie is 10-”
Yeah no no no no no no.. no… NO.
10-years-old. That’s, like, what? 4th grade? Shouldn’t Jackie be watching cartoons, playing with toys, or better yet, playing outside? Why did her parents give her internet access? Why aren’t they monitoring what their elementary schooled daughter is watching online?
If Charlie was going out of her way to promote this to minors then I would say she’s in the wrong, but this story never implies whether her content was specifically targeted to and/or letting minors come on to her account.
I've never seen proshippers create accounts specifically targeting children. If Charlie makes it clear her content isn't for kids, then it's not her fault if some random little girl she doesn’t know ends up consuming it.
If Jackie thought this was normal and ended up being groomed/assaulted by her brother, then it is her parent’s fault for neglecting her online safety and allowing her to access adult-targeted content at an age when media literacy is at an all time low.
The last one
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“dEGenErates LiKE hiM 🤓” 💀💀
Once again, unless you can present to me a REAL LIFE incest/pedophilia case where proshipping was involved, this is not a valid argument that fiction affects reality.
Alas, we're treating these stories as if they were real. If Trey feels compelled to SA his sister after seeing writings or drawings of problematic ships, this suggests he’s likely an untreated mentally ill individual, especially since he can't differentiate fiction from reality.
What? If Trey played GTA V and started shooting and robbing a bank because he wanted to be like Trevor Phillips, should we consider banning violent video games?
As proshippers, we do not endorse real-life criminals and genuinely terrible people. The essence of proshipping is that all negative or degenerate actions should be confined to fiction. Understand?
End of discussion.
Anyway, as ridiculous as that slideshow was, please refrain from harassing or bothering the artist who made it. They have the same freedom of speech we do, and stooping to harassment and bullying wouldn't make us any better than antis who promote such behavior.
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rosesradio · 1 year
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god my uni has like a collective snapchat story & this one girl just took a picture of one of those pro-life booths on campus & was like “i wish these (cis) dudes would stop imposing their opinions on a woman’s issue”
& now the story is flooding with all these dudes saying transphobic & pro-forced-pregnancy shit & i want so badly to defend this girl/just tell them off because the story shouldn’t be like this…but i also don’t want to put a target on my back
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too-much-tma-stuff · 7 months
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Finally getting help (prt 4)
Masterpost
The bats worked through the night, coordinating and researching everything that needed to be done. Distortion showed up on the camera which they assumed was Vlad trying to get in but he didn’t manage it. After he finished trying from multiple angels including somehow from directly above (well Zatana did say invisibility, intangibility, and flight were the minimal powers they should expect from creatures of the infinite realms.) He turned human again and spent a long time banging on their front door.
He tried to call the cops but commissioner Gordon called Bruce directly to get the full story then told Vlad it could be dealt with in the morning. Zatana was also coordinating people heading to Amity, a full on raid of the GIW, and the Fentons.
Batman and Superman were collecting all the information that the raid team was sending out and workshopping public statements they could sent out to the public and the government about the unacceptable things they had found and the steps the JL was taking to fix it. The government was not going to be happy they knew, with the JL ‘over-stepping’ into their business and actually getting the word out about the atrocities a branch of their government and their pet scientists had been planning. The JL needed to get out ahead of it before the narrative could be twisted against them.
It was first thing in the morning when they did a live broadcast from the watchtower with Batman, Superman, and Zatana telling the world about the parallel world existing harmlessly along side their own, and the way the government tried to exploit it. The atrocities committed under the name of the Anti-Ecto acts with the ignorance of the public as a cover.
It was at the same time that Constantine, Dick, and Cas were raiding the Fenton’s home. Of course they were armed, but so were the bats, and they were used to fighting people who were armed. It wasn’t a particularly hard fight.
A redhead was sitting wide eyed at the kitchen table. “Can’t we just have one normal day!” She suddenly snapped but she was glaring at her parents, standing up and slamming her hands on the table.  “First you send Danny away with Vlad even though you KNOW they hate each other and it’s a school day and now this! What did you do to bring the heroes down on us!?”
“I don’t know Jazzybear!” Jack half whined as he was forced into power supressing cuffs to neutralize his minor super strength and sat down in the living room.
“I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding, don’t worry sweetie,” Maddie added, both of them were dressed in jump suits which did not help their supervillain vibes.
“it’s not a mistake mate, you’ve been messing with shit you really shouldn’t. And that portal in your basement is a fucking beacon welcoming a war. You’ve gone unchecked for too god damn long, we’re taking over things now.” Constantine told them before stalking down into the basement with Tim on his heels, Batman would be joining them as soon as they were done their press conference.
Cas stayed to watch the parents and Dick approached Jazz gently. “Hey can I talk to you in private please? It’s about your brother,” He said gently and she stiffened immediately. Looking at him in a way that made him feel like she could see straight into his soul and froze him to the spot. After a moment though she just sighed and nodded, beckoning to him to follow her upstairs, to a room that was probably Danny’s not her own. She sat on his bed and grabbed a bear that had been sitting on the edge, waving for him to sit at the desk.
“So, what do you know?” She asked with a sigh.
“Well, last night Vlad took Danny to a Wayne Gala, one of Bruce’s daughter Cas is really good with body language and clocked that something was wrong so she and one of the other kids got him away from Vlad and out of the party. I guess he really needed some adult support because he broke down and told them a lot, about the Phantom thing, the ghosts and… something you’re not going to like. But first I want you to know he’s safe, Bruce Wayne is a licensed foster parent and he’s taking good care of Danny, you can come live with them too if you want.
“We’re going to deal with the ghosts and the GIW and everything else now, I can’t promise by the end of this you won’t need somewhere else to go. I have a feeling if Batman and the Martian family have anything to say about this your parents will end up in prison for their unethical experiments.”
“As long as Danny is okay,” Jazz said firmly. “I was only staying to take care of him anyway, just get me emancipated and a scholarship for Gotham U so I can study while still being close to him I’ll be fine. I’m almost 18 as it is.”
Dick nodded, she was a smart and driven girl, she knew what she wanted, he could respect that. “Now, the thing you won’t like…” he trailed off and took a deep breath. “Danny is pregnant.”
“What!?“ Jazz blanched, gaping at him for a long minute. “That can’t be right! I mean I knew he was trans but he’s usually only interested in girls, how would he even-“ She cut off her eyes widening. “It was Vlad wasn’t it?” She gritted out with an expression the promised excruciating violence.
“Yes,” Dick said shifting awkwardly in his chair.
“Right.” Jazz said and got up, coldly calm. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.” She grabbed a baseball bat from next to Danny’s bed that seemed to be glowing slightly then marched to the other side of the room, opened a cabinet and pulled out two odd looking guns. Before Dick could say much of anything she had vaulted out of the window and taking off down the street.
“Oh dear,” Dick muttered faintly before heading back downstairs. “Hey Cas can we turn on the news, some sort of local station?” He asked. Cas nodded and searched around for the remote, turning it on to find the channel was already on local news.
Vlad was already on there, talking about how it was awful Bruce Wayne had Kidnapped a local child Danial Fenton, and he could not be allowed to get away with this just because he was rich! But that didn’t last long, they watched for a few minutes before a blur of red hair and blue rushed past the camera.
“YOU TOUCHED MY BROTHER YOU CREEP!” Jazz said as she came out swinging and she must have quite the arm because her first swing sent him nearly flying off the stage. He scrambled to get up as she lunged at him again.
“Now Jasmine you’ve clearly been misinformed, I didn’t do anything-“ His muffled voice was cut off as she swung the bat again and he yelped as she hit him in the stomach.
“YOU GOT HIM PREGNANT! YOU DID THIS! YOU SHOULD BEHIND BARS NOT BEHIND A PODIUM YOU FROOTLOOP!” She shrieked as she swung again and this time he managed to dodge. The cameras following them as Jazz chased him down the street, the sound of his supplications and her shrieking fading out as they became more and more distant.
It took a frantic moment for the camera angle to switch to something else, maybe a drone, which was able to follow them down the street.
“You Don’t UNDERSTAND! I didn’t want to hurt him! I just wanted a perfect son! If he had just agreed to be my son none of this would have happened! When I knew it failed I told him to let them die!” Vlad yelled at her, though that did NOT seem to comfort Jazz at all. She had devolved into shrieking book titles like curses as she chased him with the bat and shot at him with the guns though her aim didn’t seem very good.
Well they had him admitting to it on camera now. As he watched a new actor joined the fray, a girl in a red jumpsuit holding a blaster.
“You did what to Danny!?” She demanded as she pointed the blaster at Vlad.
“Oh cheespuffs!” Vlad breathed, his eyes widening as Jazz trailed off letting who must be Red Huntress take over the chase as Vlad shouted about how he had made her! He had given her her weapons she couldn’t use them against him! Which did not seem to be stopping her.
The camera fuzzed out for just a second and then Valery was chasing a ghost with red eyes and a white outfit. Cas was laughing silently at the show and both of the Fenton parents seemed to be in shock. A few minutes later Jazz walked back in through the front door looking tired.
“Turn that off please,” she sighed as she put the bat down.
“Of course,” Cas agreed and picked up the remote again, turning off the tv. 
“Vlad didn’t actually do that, did he Jazzy?” Jack asked softly, he sounded so hurt, as if he had any fucking right!
Jazz looked at him blankly. “How many times have we tried to warn you about him? How many times has Danny told you he didn’t feel safe with Vlad? But as usual you couldn’t see past your own desires. I’m going to go see if the trenchcoat guy needs any help getting into your files,” She sighed before vanishing downstairs. 
Dick glanced at Cas, and then followed them, she would have no trouble watching the Fentons and staying quiet whereas Dick felt like he was about to explode. Batman joined them before long and between the three of them they shut the bulkheads on the portal and locked them, secured dangerous chemicals and devices, and downloaded everything they could. There were plenty of prototypes and blueprints, and stuff that could generously be called research.
It was obvious these people were geniuses but it was even more obvious that at some point they had become careless and obsessive. Half of the writing on the blueprints wasn’t legible, dangerous chemicals were not in proper containment, and the weapons were not locked up. Looking at all of this it wasn’t surprising that two of the people they had been involving in their research suffered exposure, it was a surprise more hadn’t. It was easy to tell when Bruce came down he was horrified, it was in the way he froze when he saw the lab, as if his brain was struggling to process just how irresponsible the Fenton parents had been.
“You must be Jazz, it’s nice to meet you. Danny speaks highly of you,” He finally rebooted to say when she waved at him. 
“I love my little brother, I always did the best I could to keep him safe from… all this,” Jazz said gesturing at the lab with a sigh. “I wish it had done any good.”
“You did plenty of good,” Dick put in. “Trust me, to a kid having someone care about them can make all the difference. 
“All those nights I patched him up after he came back from fighting ghosts. He healed fast but still. I can’t believe… he’s already been through so much and we knew Vlad was up to something! Ellie said she was our cousin but she looked just like him, I should have kept a closer eye on-” She cut off and shook her head. “He’s a good kid, of course if he couldn’t give the babies up, even if it would be better for them if he did. I hope he knows I’d support him either way, I hope he didn’t not tell me because he thought I’d be upset at Him.”
“I’m sure he didn’t,” Dick assured her gently. “Being a big sibling is hard, I know. But trust me you’re doing a great job, better than I did with my brothers,” he said, patting her shoulder. “You can ask him yourself later though. We have a lot to get done today to make sure he’s safe.”
She nodded stubbornly and doubled down on her work, directing them occasionally to where she knew they’d find more weapons or logs. She knew her way around the lab to a disturbing extent. 
Bruce and Dick both got a notification from Agent A saying that after a substantial sleep in Danny had woken up and was having breakfast. He seemed worried about the family but he was taking it alright, especially since he knew they were busy people. It did motivate Dick to clear things up as soon as they could so that they could get back to Danny though. The last thing he needed was More stress!
They had plenty of evidence of the Fenton parents breaking the law to call the police and have them taken away which gave them all the time they needed to strip the house. They got everything they could and decided to leave Constantine at the house to watch the portal until they could figure out how to shut it down completely without causing any damage. It seemed unstable so they didn’t want to risk it just now, especially without Danny’s input because according to Jazz Danny had made genuine connections in the Infinite Realms. 
They wrapped up this stage of the investigation before dinner after being up for about 36 hours. Of course they weren’t Done, there was still plenty to do investigating the government, how they’d gotten away with this and if they had any other nasty tricks up their sleeve. They’d have to manage any backlash from this unilateral move, and they’d have to figure out what to tell the public about Danny since Bruce would be fostering him. But all that could be done after having a family dinner with their new brother and a nap. 
part 5
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mountainsandmayhem · 3 months
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BDSMaid - Chapter 2
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Masterlist || AO3
Pairing: Millionaire Joel Miller x Female Reader Series Summary: After recently graduating from university, your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. It’s only temporary and a good way to save money for when you go back to get your law degree. That’s what you’re promised at least. Easy. Simple. Mundane. That is, until one of your clients is home and everything that you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.  Chapter Summary: Try as he might, Joel just can’t shake the memory of you. Try as you might, you can’t stop thinking of the woman tied to his desk. CW: The slow burn is burning. Mentions of death and underage drinking. Topless in public, this is a love story about BDSM after all. Reader does have some physical descriptions, so maybe more of an OFC, or just pretend you have pouty lips and a slightly upturned nose. Double POV (reader and Joel). AN: Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH for all the love on chapter one of this story. I literally cannot believe it surpasses 1000 notes in just a month, you're all insane and I love you. Dividers by @saradika-graphics. Biiiig shout outs to the bb's who have been so supportive of me spiralling and panicking this last month over the next chapter. I'd be in a deep dark cave without you @mermaidgirl30 @littlevenicebitch69 @lotusbxtch @evolnoomym @joelmillerisapunk and @milla-frenchy . Thank you! I feel like I'm giving some sort of Oscars speech and if you're still reading this, you're the real MVP. XO Word Count: 8.5k
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~ Joel - 27 Years Ago ~
Joel’s stands in the garage of someone he barely knows, surrounded by drunk and rowdy classmates from his high school. He’s a senior, graduating in just a few weeks and moments like this are one of the perks of being the star designated hitter and first baseman, everyone wants you at their party. Someone hands him a warm, flat beer that was pumped poorly from a keg as they pat his back roughly in congratulations. Joel’s not sure how a bunch of seventeen year olds managed to get a keg, most likely an older brother, but he drinks the shitty beer all the same. Speaking of brothers, he hasn’t seen Tommy in a while. He’s only fifteen and he promised their mom he’d keep an eye on him. The younger Miller shouldn’t be at a seniors party, but that's where those perks come in again, because if Joel was good, Tommy was better. In fact, he was so much better that he’s played up a whole age group his entire life, always right beside Joel. Tommy was the back catcher, and tonight he got the eleventh inning game winning out at home for them to win the state championship. 
He finds Tommy chatting with a group of girls, all of whom are incredibly beautiful. They’re going to be very disappointed when they find out how much younger he is than them. Joel smiles into his red solo cup as he takes a sip of stale beer. He tucks his free hand into the pocket of his light blue wranglers and walks over to the wall of the garage. He leans back and crosses one cowboy booted foot over the other. The brim of his cowboy hat grazes the unpainted drywall behind him. Texas, and the country, in the late nineties was where everyone wanted to be, and Joel Miller could have been the poster boys for teenage country boys in 1997.
Brooks & Dunn plays on someone's CD player in the corner, laughter and people talking overlaps until it’s just noise to Joel. He stands back, watching his younger brother effortlessly charm the five pretty girls around him. All of them in tight blue jeans, lacy white tops, denim vests and cowboy boots. He grabs one by the hand and Joel overhears, “I’ll teach ya how to two step, shame to not know in a place like this.” Then the motherfucker winks at her like he’s some sort of cowboy Casanova. Joel lets out a silent laugh through his nose and sips the beer again shaking his head. 
Just as Tommy pulls the pretty little blonde over towards the unmarked and unofficial dance floor in the corner of the garage the song changes. Slow guitar, followed by the unmistakable twang of Tim Magraw’s voice. Joel didn’t know it then, but that song would change the course of his life and intertwine itself in the very fabric of his being.
‘Dancin’ in the dark, Middle of the night’
That’s when he sees her, tall and slender, deep olive toned skin and pale green eyes. Her dark curly hair cascades over one of her shoulders. She’s laughing with another classmate, and even though he can’t hear the sound of it over the noise of the party, he can tell it’s a light and melodic sound, and he wants to spend the rest of his life drawing that out of her. 
‘Takin’ your heart, An holdin’ it tight’
He puts his warm beer on the work bench beside him and takes off his black felt Stetson, placing it over his broad chest, hoping the comfort of his favourite hat would slow the rate at which his heart is beating. 
‘Emotional touch, Touchin’ my skin, And askin’ you to do, What you’ve been doin’ all over again’
She looks over at him, smiling shyly, and before he knows what he’s doing he’s walking over to her. His legs move on their own accord, knees shaking as he approaches the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.
‘Oh, it’s a beautiful thing, Don’t think I can keep it all in, I just gotta let you know, What is that won’t let me go’
Everything in the room fades as she fully comes into view. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe the girl in front of him. She radiates a warmth that he’s only ever known his mother to radiate. It’s the first time he’s ever seen this girl, but she feels like home. This is it, that one thing that everyone says you’re supposed to feel. The thing his grandpa told him when he was younger, “Son, you’ll just know. It sounds ridiculous, but when I saw your grandma it was like a pull behind my belly button. I just knew, and I’ve known everyday since then.”
“Howdy, ma’am,” Joel says, tipping his hat to her before placing it back on his head. 
She giggles, confirming his earlier thoughts. It really is the sweetest fucking sound he’s ever heard. “Hi.”
He holds out a hand to her and she takes it, her skin is so warm and smooth. In that moment he knows that hers will be the last hand he ever holds. Fire flushes through his veins as he continues, “I’m Joel, what’s your name?”
“Oh, I know who you are Joel Miller,” she flirts, not letting go of his hand. “I’m Tiffany.”
“Tiffany,” he repeats, his voice going deeper as he says it. It’s egotistical but he loves the way girls shiver just a little when he lowers his register. “And how is it that you know who I am?”
She slides her hand from his and reaches up to grab his cowboy hat, plopping it onto her head. “Star first baseman and designated hitter, everyone knows Joel Miller. Look around, look at all these girls lookin’ at you, cowboy.”
For the first time in his life Joel finds himself blushing, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Tiffany. 
“I only see one girl.” She rolls her eyes and swats at his bicep at the cheesy line, but that was it for both of them. From that point they were inseparable. 
They both turned eighteen a few months later, and just ten months, and a thirty two hour labour after Tiff turned eighteen, a tiny little Sarah came into the world all pink and screaming. Joel hears that song again as he watches Tiffany hold that little bundle of blankets, ‘Better than I was, More than I am, And all of this happened, By taking your hand.’
They get married when Sarah is just a few months old. Both his beautiful curly haired girls in white dresses, Tiffany grabbing that same black Stetson off his head during their first dance. He holds them both, swaying from side to side, a hot tear rolling down his cheek at how goddamn happy he is. ‘And who I am now, Is who I wanted to be, And now that we’re together, I’m stronger than ever, I’m happy and free’.
Things for their little family of three are perfect. They buy the house with the white picket fence and the wrap around porch. Joel gets a job working construction and enjoys a nightcap with his beautiful young wife on their front porch every night. They make love often, slow and sweaty, Joel worshiping her soft copper toned skin inch by glorious inch. Tiffany wraps every minute of her day around Sarah and being a sweet, devoted housewife. Nothing seems to stand in their way. Until the diagnosis shortly before Sarah starts Kindergarten. 
Tiffany is too young, they’re all too young. This isn’t something that happens to people their age, they haven’t had enough time. Joel spends the next few months in a haze, it has to be a bad dream. The appointments, the treatments, the call to 911 when the illness starts to win. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. 
He holds Tiffany until the very end. Sponging a soft kiss to her forehead, whispering his goodbyes as they shut off the machines keeping her here. “You’ve been so strong, my love. You fought so hard. I know you’re scared to go, I’m scared too, but we’ll do it like we do everything else. Together. I’ll be ok, Sarah will be ok. Just rest now. I love you.” 
As she takes her last shaky and shallow breath, a sound will live with him until he takes a breath that matches hers, that song echoes through his hollow chest. ‘It’s your love, It does something to me, It sends a shock right through me, I can’t get enough’.
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You - Present Day
You roll to a stop outside Mister Miller’s house for your second day of cleaning. As you look towards the impressive house your pussy flutters at the memories of yesterday - the almost pornographic noises that were made in that office, his soft and kind eyes as he apologized profusely in the kitchen. You were supposed to go to a study group last night, but instead you got lost in a rabbit hole of porn where women are tied up and fingered. You got yourself off four times thinking about a man you’re not even supposed to know, wishing it was his thick fingers hitting that spot inside of you that you can’t reach on your own. You felt guilty about it last night and now being back in his home you have that same sinking feeling again. 
Stupid. Sacrificing my future for a fantasy. Never again. 
You let yourself in the house and look at the list in your cleaning app. You pop in your AirPods and start listening to your favourite true crime podcast; thankful for the new episode, a gruesome distraction as you scrub baseboards and lightswitches. The episode ends and in an attempt to not let your mind wander to the gorgeous man that lives here, and the depraved new things you’ve discovered about yourself, you start an educational audiobook about civil rights law. You might want Joel Miller to strap you down and whisper filth in your ears, but you are a good person, and your aspiration in life is to help people who face discrimination on a daily basis. 
You breeze around his home, checking off each task and before you know it it’s almost one in the afternoon. You have almost your whole list complete, his soft sheets are in the dryer (and yes, you are incredibly proud of yourself for only putting the luxurious white fabric to your face twice on the way to the washer). You only have the patio furniture to spray down and the kitchen counters to wipe. That’s when your stomach growls, almost as if to remind you that it’s the perfect time to take a break while the dryer finishes. You haul all your stuff out to your car and lock up, sitting in your front seat as you take out your lunch container.
An engine revs in the distance and your heart skips in your chest. Before you even have time to wonder if it’s Joel’s car, one of the black garage doors slides open and Joel’s obsidian coloured Aston Martin rolls by you, stopping with precision on the shiny cement floor of the garage. You avert your eyes, focused on your container of chicken noodle soup. The left side of your face feels the warmth of his gaze fixed on you. Without looking over you can tell he is studying you and it takes everything you have to keep your eyes on your measly lunch. 
The afternoon sun is blocked as Joel raps his knuckles on your window. You glance over at him, looking up through your lashes. He’s looking at you intensely but you can’t quite place his expression. As always, his deep brown eyes are locked on yours, he could either be happy to see you or incredibly disappointed in you. But one thing is for sure, he’s calculating your every need with those warm and inviting eyes. He knocks again so you crank the handle to roll your window down a crack.
He raises one eyebrow at you, both hands rest on the roof of your SUV as he leans forward to speak to you through the small opening in the window. “Seriously?” His voice is laced with sarcasm. 
“What?” You say, “Can’t be too safe.”
He blinks at you before continuing, “What'd ya doin’ out here?”
You lift your tupperware container a little, willing the tingles between your thighs to stop, “Eating my lunch.”
He rolls his eyes, running his hand along his greying scruff. “You’re eatin’ lukewarm soup in your car in the middle of February.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement, but his voice is warm and curious, and you start to realize that the look on his face isn’t happiness or disappointment, but concern. 
You nod, “Yes.” His eyes dance around your face and you swear your heart is beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings. Fluttering so fast that it’s traveling up your throat and you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. 
“Get out of the car. Come warm that up and eat inside.” His voice is thick with concern, entire face soft as he looks at you. 
You swallow your heart back down to where it belongs, “I’m not allowed to do that, Mister Miller.”
His cheeks redden a little and some of the softness in him disappears, “Don’t call me that, it’s jus’ Joel to you.”
“I’m not even supposed to know your name, Mister Miller. I can’t call you by your first name.”
He shifts his weight onto one foot and points a thick finger at you through your window, “Don’t. Either you call me Joel or nothin’ at all. Come inside,” he drops his pointer finger to the door handle. He pulls on it to find it locked. “Seriously?”
“I told you, I can’t be too safe!” You can help but think how cute he looks all flustered - shaking his head at you for being cautious in a neighborhood where you could probably scream your credit card number and no one would use it. If anything, the wealthy homeowners on this street might transfer you money when they see the state of your vehicle. 
“You’re eatin’ inside.” He says flatly. 
“I told you, I can’t. We aren’t allowed to do that. You’re a client, Mist - I mean. Sorry, I just can’t. We aren’t allowed.” You glance towards the clock on your dash. At this rate your break is going to be over before you finish eating. 
He jiggles the door handle again, as if he can convince the metal to bend and unlatch itself with just his sexiness alone. “You like rules, don’t ya?”
He’s got you there, you do enjoy following the rules. You nod and hum a noise in agreement. 
“Unlock the door, please,” his voice has changed, he’s being more commanding now. A deeper, huskier sound leaving his lips. The sound seems to latch onto something deep in your mind, strong fingers wrapping around the control center of your brain, guiding you to do his bidding. You blink the feeling away. 
“Mister-,” his eyes flash with darkness, “Sorry. I can’t. It wouldn’t be right to eat in your house, plus my break is almost over.”
Joel releases your door handle, raising his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and lets out a breath, as he drops his hand back to the top of your vehicle an amused smirk flashes across his face. “Do you consider yourself to work in customer service?”
“Yes,” you say nervously.
“And isn’t the main rule of customer service that the customer is always right?” His lips form a tight line and a deep dimple carves into one of his tanned cheeks. Your brain flashes back to one of the videos you watched last night, a man sucking on a woman's nipples as he rubbed her clit, her arms and legs strapped to a padded table. He had a dimple, but he had nothing on Joel. 
“Yes,” you croak and then clear your throat gently, shifting in your seat at the fire building behind that bundle of nerves between your thighs. 
“Then unlock the door, darlin’ and eat inside.” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, turning and walking towards the house. He stops on the front step, opening the large glass front door. You follow, flip flops slapping on the concrete, carrying your powdered chicken noodle soup and plastic spoon up towards his fancy home. When you reach the threshold, he holds out his large hand palm up and you place the old, stained tupperware with your half eaten soup into it. He looks down at it and then back at you, eyes trailing along your body and it feels like he’s running a torch over you. “Is this all you have to eat?”
You nod, giving him a tight lipped smile. 
He cocks his head towards the kitchen and one pushed back curl that’s laced with a few greys falls into his eyes with the movement. In order to stop from pushing his loose curl back you squeeze your fists gently and head towards the stool you sat on yesterday. As your flip flop hits the tile you stop and look back towards your car nervously. “I, umm, I forgot my shoes.”
His large, warm palm comes to your lower back and he pushes you gently towards the kitchen. You sit as he transfers your soup into a matte black bowl and places it in the microwave. He opens a cupboard and pulls out a loaf of fresh bread, as you go to protest he flicks his eyes up to yours and something about the expression on his face tells you not to argue with him. He pops the two carefully cut pieces into the toaster. He breezes effortlessly around the kitchen for someone so broad and masculine. You didn’t realize someone making toast could be so sexy. The microwave beeps and he grabs a gold spoon from a drawer before wandering around the island, placing them both in front of you. His arm brushes yours as he pulls away and your heart flutters at his touch. He walks back around the kitchen island and grabs a glass. 
“Still or sparkling?” He says as if that’s just a normal question to ask when you get someone a glass of water. Just another thing that proves you don’t belong here. The toaster pops and you jump a little. He chuckles as he grabs the toast, slathering it with butter. “Still or sparkling, darlin’?” 
You breath hitches, he’s called you darlin’ twice now. Is that just that southern charm you hear about so often, or is it more? You shake the thought from your head, there’s no way someone like him is interested in someone like you. “Still is fine, you don’t have to trouble yourself.” 
You take a spoonful of soup, blowing on it gently before putting the spoon in your mouth. Joel is watching you in the same way he was yesterday. Assessing. Observing. Calculating. It feels like he’s looking into your very soul. He slides the plate of toast and then a glass of sparkling water over to you from across the island.
“Thank you,” you say quietly. “You didn’t -”
He holds his hand up, stopping you in the same way he did yesterday. “I wanted to.”
You feel your cheeks redden and you have to look away as you take a bite of toast. He’s too handsome standing in the kitchen with the afternoon sun highlighting his features. He’s wearing a black dress shirt today, the top few buttons undone, accentuating the perfectly groomed salt and pepper hair on his chest. You swallow your bite of warm, salty, buttery toast, allowing your eyes to flutter closed at the delectable flavour, holding back a moan. 
Joel clears his throat and crosses his arms across his broad chest, “So how did ya get into cleanin’ houses?”
You look up at him through your lashes. Why is he being so nice to you and taking care of you? He apologized yesterday. And after you told him it was fine he left you a massive tip. He said he wants to do this, but why? He’s rich and handsome and you can probably safely assume that that icy blonde from yesterday was his girlfriend. Unless…could she possibly be a mistress? You decide that that must be it. She’s his mistress. He has a wife. He’s just like every other rich man, cheating on his beautiful and age appropriate wife with someone much much younger than him. He’s probably terrified that you might find out who his wife is and tell her. That tip was hush money.
“I’m saving money,” you say and then shake your head, willing the thoughts in your mind to calm down. “For law school.”
“That right?” He says, raising an eyebrow at you as you take another spoonful of soup.
“Yes, I want to be a lawyer. I graduated a semester early and needed some money before going back to university. Assuming I even get accepted. This job meant I could work part time so I could study to take the LSAT again and also make good money.” You take another bite of the toast, mainly to make yourself shut up. 
He watches you the entire time, nodding along, his eyes constantly assessing. “Take the LSAT again?” he asks.
“I passed it already and applied to schools but I haven’t heard back yet. Law school is pretty competitive, so I’m going to take it again and hopefully have a better mark for the next round of college applications.” You’re talking too much, you need to shut up and just eat, but Joel doesn’t flinch, doesn’t look away. No one has ever listened to you like that, not even your parents.
“Next round?” He asks curiously. 
You feel your cheeks redden. You don’t want to admit to this obviously successful man in front of you that you probably won’t get accepted to any of the eight universities you applied to. “Yes. It’s competitive, and I probably won’t get in. So I’m preparing to be better the second time.”
“Where did you apply? If that’s not too forward of a question.”
“No, not too forward. Umm, a few places. Strength in numbers, I guess. Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Berkeley, Duke, University of Toronto, but I don’t think I’d survive a Canadian winter. I also applied at Notre Dame and University of Texas here in Austin.”
Joel laughs at you mentioning the Canadian winter and once you’re quiet, he looks down at his expensive dress shoes, “I, umm, I know some higher ups at UT Austin if you need me to put in a good word.”
You smile at him when he looks back up at you, “I don’t think that’s quite how it works, Joel. But thank you.”
The two of you are silent for a moment while you finish your first piece of toast. You glance up at him and he’s looking at you with that same hint of pride he had yesterday while you drank your water. He’s making you feel like eating toast is something to be proud of. You can’t explain it but his facial expression wraps around like a corset. Pulling its metaphoric laces and making you sit up taller, holding your head up higher. With just the shimmer in his deep brown eyes you feel like you could take on the world. You need to break the silence so you say, “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he says, leaning back to rest on the countertop behind him. His arms uncross, his strong hands wrapping around the countertop on each side of his body. 
“What do you do for a living? To have all this?” You gesture around the house as you sip your sparkling water.
“A few things. I used to own a construction company, sold it a few years ago to retire but I got bored pretty quickly. Now I own a few properties, I rent them out.” You nod as you listen to him, eating your lunch. One hand rubs at his patchy, salt and pepper beard nervously before saying, “I also own a club.”
You let out a little giggle into your water glass, immediately praying that he doesn’t think that was you being rude. Of all the professions that could have come out of his mouth, owning a nightclub was the last thing you expected. Joel smiles at the sweet melodic sound leaving your lips and relief washes over you. “Why’s that so funny?” His voice is light at his inquiry. 
“It’s not,” you say after swallowing your water. He furrows his brows at you. “You just - I mean, I guess I don’t know you, but don’t seem like the nightclub type.”
“You’re right, you don’t know me. But you’re also right that I am not a nightclub type,” he states. Something about the way he says it makes you sense that that’s as far as you’re going to get with it, but you also realize that the club is probably how this man meets young women to bring home.
You put your spoon down and place your hands in your lap. “Can I umm, ask you something else?”
“Of course,” he repeats. 
“What’s with that little dinosaur toy on your coffee maker?”
He smiles and reaches over to grab it, rubbing his thumb along the faded and scuffed brown paint of the little toy. He looks down at it and a hint of sadness seems to fill his coffee and amber eyes as he looks at you. “My daughter, she umm, she got it for me from the prize box in Kindergarten after her mom -” he stops mid sentence, sadness lining his features. Joel’s not married, you roll your eyes at yourself internally for thinking the worst of him. And truthfully, you of all people know he’s not married. You clean his house, you’ve been in his bedroom, and there are no women's clothes. You’ve also been in all the spare bedrooms and there’s no chance another person lives here with him. He continues, choosing his words almost carefully, “Well, just after she was gone.”
“I’m sorry, Mister,” his eyes flash onyx for just a second, he looks lethally sexy and you swallow your words before starting again. “I’m sorry, Joel.”
“It was a long time ago,” he says, placing the dinosaur back. He runs his fingers through his salt and pepper curls, letting out a little sigh. There’s a shift in him, like suddenly the world is heavier. He tries not to let it show, and maybe most people wouldn’t notice, but you see it. The slight fall in his face, a little slump in the shoulders, a breath held for just a second too long. He clears his throat gently and says, “I’ll be in my office. Eat your lunch for me, please.”
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Joel
Joel closes the door of his office and rests his forehead against the smooth wooden surface. He can’t remember how much he spent on these doors when he built the house, but he would set any door that separated him from you on fire if he had to. 
Get it together, Joel.
He closes his eyes and only sees you. The way your glossy, pink lips formed a little O as you blew on your soup. The way the gold plated metal spoon slid softly along your tongue. His cock twitches in his pants and he feels the urge to throw all the spoons in his house away. 
Great, you’re jealous of a spoon. 
He shouldn’t be home. He signed a contract, and more importantly, you signed a contract. In order to protect him and you there is to be no contact between the cleaner and the client. That’s what you consented to when you took your job at Maid Discreetly, and now he’s caused you to break that contract not once, but twice. But he cannot seem to get you out of his mind, and as he sat in a meeting at his club he couldn’t focus. You were here, cleaning his home in that form fitting white polo shirt and those black pants that hugged at your hips in all the right places, and he just had to know if you were as beautiful as he remembered. Just a quick peek, he convinced himself as he made up some bullshit excuse to leave. 
When he saw you sitting in your rusty SUV you looked so innocent and pure, you were more than beautiful. The afternoon sun lighting up your high cheekbones and slender, slightly upturned nose, it gave you an almost angelic glow that temporarily took his breath away. If he had to describe you in two words he would say that you were simply ravishing. For the first time in almost thirty years he wished he still had the calming comfort of that black felt cowboy hat. But that soft Stetson went with her because she loved it so much. 
As he caught his breath and looked at you from his garage, he was overcome with an urge to bruise and corrupt you. He’s a bad man for the thoughts he's been having about you. He can’t help himself, but even in his most twisted of fantasies, he’d never do anything you didn’t want him to. But, fuck, he’s sure he could mold you into exactly what he wants in a submissive. 
Joel isn’t new to the world of kink; he’s had many subs, all of whom have referred to him as Mister Miller. However, his name has never sounded so fucking sweet as it did coming off your lips. Those two little words leaving your pouty, pink lips feel like that first sip of whiskey after a long day, and it might kill him if he doesn’t make you his. 
He sighs into the white wood of the door before standing and walking to sit behind his desk. He drops into the soft leather chair and lets his head fall back onto the headrest and closes his eyes. What is it about you? Why can’t he stop thinking about you? You’re way too young. Way too sweet. Way too…sinless. And even though he can’t explain it, and he knows you don’t know it, you’re way too “exactly-what-is-going-to-ruin-his-entire-life”. 
You’re not someone he can just play with. No, he’s good at reading people, and you’re the kind of person that deserves being invested into. You’re also not someone who is going to stick around. You have dreams and well laid out plans on how you’re going to achieve them. He can’t cage you in, he’ll have to let you spread your wings and fly no matter how much he sees himself as the man he used to be reflected back in your eyes.  
He opens his eyes and pictures you kneeling in the corner, perfectly manicured hands that he pays for you to have done weekly folded on your lap as he works. He imagines calling you over with a curl of his fingers, you crawling across the plush carpet and resting your head on his lap as he responds to emails, takes calls, or plans events. He could reach down and run his fingers through your soft, silky hair as you nuzzled deeper into his lap with your cheek. “My perfect, sweet girl,” he’d hum.  
His body falls forward, forehead hitting the sturdy wooden desk with a thump. Jesus Christ, Joel. 
It was one thing when he only found you beautiful - he could live with being attracted to you, he could find a way around it or stuff that attraction down, maybe he’d find a new sub to distract himself with. That would be easy for him, but then you had to open your mouth, you had to speak so passionately about your future. Why couldn’t you just be pretty like all the other women he plays with? You might be one of the most driven people he knows: the way you push yourself, already planning for the next “no”. And that kills him, ruins him really that you are programmed to think there will automatically be a “no” and that you’ll have to endure another round of LSAT’s and college applications. You’re smart, and he wants to kill whoever made you feel like you need to push yourself this hard. 
His phone vibrates in his pocket; annoyance courses through his body until he sees his brother's name across the pristine screen of his newest iPhone Max. 
“Ya?” He says harshly. 
“Everything ok with the alarm?” 
Joel’s mind goes blank, “What?” 
Tommy is silent for a second before he responds slowly, “The alarm? You left in the middle of a meeting because of an alarm.” 
Joel shakes his head. Right, the alarm. The bullshit excuse he made up so he could leave to see you. “Ya, right. Ya, it’s fine. Got it all, umm, all fixed up. Should be back soon.”
“You ok, brother?” Tommy asks suspiciously. “You seemed, I dunno, distracted today.” 
“I’m fine,” Joel snaps. 
“Alright. Well, come back soon, pretty big night here and we need ya.” 
Joel hangs up without saying goodbye. He’s the owner, he knows it’s a big night, but he’s sort of busy having an existential crisis over possibly being in love with his house cleaner. Whoa, in love? Pump the fucking brakes. Joel’s heart stops beating for a second at the thought of it. He can’t possibly be in love; he doesn’t fall in love. No, he decides, it’s just because she’s new, and exactly my type, and it’s been a long time since I found someone that’s my type.
Just as he stands from his desk, he hears the hose outside turn on. You must be at the pool furniture part of your list. He takes this moment to sneak out of his own house, because he’s a weak man when it comes to you, apparently. He slips into the Italian leather front seat and lets the new car smell waft over him; he loves the smells of a new sports car and has never owned one long enough for it to stop smelling that way. It’s a matter of status to him. He takes a good hard look at himself in the rear view mirror. That’s enough now. For both of your sakes. Leave her alone. 
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You 
After spraying down the pool furniture you rush inside to warm up. Seriously, who needs their pool stuff cleaned in the fucking winter? As you jog up the stairs to grab Joel’s freshly laundered sheets, you blow into your cupped palms. The warmth spreads from your frozen fingertips to your palms. Joel’s office is empty; he must have left while you were outside. Your brain swirls with unanswered questions as you pull the fitted sheet back onto his king size bed. Why would he come home? First of all, he knows you’re here this time and second of all, he knows he’s not supposed to be here. So why? And then there’s his calculating stare, always watching and usually with a flash of pride in his features. Did he come back here just to talk to you? Maybe even to get to know you? 
It’s safe to say that you’re more confused than ever, and you make a mental schedule of studying and reading to keep you busy later tonight so you won’t spend hours trying to google him again.
It takes way too much effort, and a silent promise to yourself to get back to the gym, but you manage to wrestle the oversized duvet back into its cover just as three o’clock rolls around. You jog down the wide, open staircase and your phone bings in your back pocket. Jamie’s name is splayed across your cracked screen, the sunset from your last trip to California shining back at you. 
What are you doing tonight? Want to make a bunch of money serving drinks topless?
You laugh to yourself. Truthfully, nothing Jamie asks you seems to surprise you, and some sort of odd job where you’re topless or in a sexy outfit is practically a guarantee as a condition of your friendship. As you reach for the black envelope on the kitchen island you text back. 
What?
You barely have the thick parchment of the envelope open when she responds, like she already had the text locked and loaded and was just waiting for you to try to fight her on it.  
Remember Laren? My cousin? She has a topless catering company and needs help tonight. It’s at some exclusive VIP poker game downtown. 4 hours, $300 + tips.
You respond as a thousand dollars falls out of the tip envelope. 
I’m in.
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Jamie picks you up a few hours later and parks her blacked out Range Rover in the alleyway behind a shiny black building in the heart of downtown. You’re once again surrounded by wealth and success thanks to Jamie. The dress code tonight is a black pencil skirt, black heels, your tits, and a bow tie that Laren will give you. Speaking of whom, Laren is holding open a staff door for you and Jamie with her hip, waving the two of you into the warmth of the building. She pulls you both into a big hug, “Thank fuck! You two saved my ass tonight. Gotta love having friends and family with great tits!”
“You’re so weird,” Jamie says, brushing past her and into the building. You follow her in before Laren ushers you towards a service elevator. 
“They’ve already started, you’re part of the second shift. I think the first set of girls made about four hundred each in tips, helps if you serve the guys that are winning though. The first round of games is almost over, winners move on soon.”
“How were their tits though? As great as ours?” You joke. Underneath the calm and collected mask you’re wearing you are definitely nervous. All these strange men are going to see you half naked, you know nothing about poker or serving drinks. Your two friends laugh as the elevator opens to a small changing room. Girls from the first shift are putting their tops back on, handing the bow ties back to Laren who gives them to you and Jamie. 
She cocks her head towards a swinging door, “Just through there when you’re done. Go to the bartender for a tray and table assignment. Two girls per table and only six seats so it should be pretty easy. Make sure you smile!”
“Yes, ma’am,” you and Jamie say teasingly as you strip off your tops and bras. She flips you the middle finger as she heads back out to the poker game to supervise. The cool air of the room stiffens your nipples, nerves fluttering behind your navel as you put the bow tie on.
You overhear the girls that are leaving talking about the men, “Did you see the one with the curly hair at the table by the bar?”, one says. 
The other responds, “He was so fucking hot. Total daddy, I think he owns this place.” 
A third pipes up with, “Fuck, I should have flirted more. I could use a sugar daddy.” 
As they walk towards the elevator the first girl says, “Did you know that this is a sex club? Too bad we can’t go explore the rest.” They giggle as they leave and you take a steadying breath. You’re going to be topless, in a sex club. 
“Ready?” Jamie asks, adjusting her bowtie around her slender neck. 
“Did you know this is a sex club?”
She laughs, “Ya, it’s like an exclusive kink club apparently. Laren said it’s owned by two brothers who are insanely hot. Maybe I should see if they need a maid.” She winks at you as you both walk towards the swinging door. 
You step into the dimly lit room and find the bar directly across from you. After rolling your shoulders back and down, you cross the dark hardwood floor to the bar. Everything in the room is black or deep forest green. Black paint covers the walls, your heels click against the sturdy black wooden floors, even the poker tables and chairs are black. A pop of deep green velvet only along the seats and table tops. It looks soft, like one of those fuzzy blankets you have on your couch and you fight the urge to run your hand across one of the empty tables as you pass. 
The bartender hands Jamie a tray first and then quietly tells her to go to the table in the far right corner. She sways her hips like the sultry goddess she is as she walks to the table. Relief floods through you when you notice that none of the men have raised their eyes, they’re focused intently on the card game. This isn’t some sleazy club like you initially thought when you heard ‘sex club’ leave the lips of the other servers. You relax a little at being able to just be yourself tonight, maybe a bit more naked than you’d usually be but yourself nonetheless. 
You take the black marble serving tray as the bartender points to the table closest to the bar. The curly hair man that the women were talking about in the change room faces away from you. Your heart leaps in your chest. Joel. As you approach the other server standing behind the table, he starts to turn his head. Time stops, your heart speeds up, and it starts to feel simultaneously too hot and too cold in the room all at the same time. It’s almost as if he’s turning his head in slow motion. As you catch his side profile he has the same hooked nose, in the dim light of the room you can’t see any greys along his temples and he doesn’t appear to have a beard. After what feels like an hour, his eyes finally meet yours and you let out a breath, although you aren’t sure if it’s disappointment or relief leaving your lungs. It’s not Joel Miller.
“Mind bringin’ me another Macallan neat, sweetheart?” His eyes stay locked on yours as he smiles at you sweetly. He holds the crystal glass out for you and you take it with a soft ‘yes, sir.’
Something about those eyes, and the way they flash darkly at being called sir, feels all too familiar. In the time it takes for you to take the six or seven steps to the bar you convince yourself that it’s just your brain seeing him everywhere. You tell yourself that when you bring this drink back he’ll look nothing like the man you caught knuckles deep in a woman as she cried out, nothing like the man who was so gentle and sweet, yet slightly bossy and commanding with you this afternoon. 
That’s definitely it, you say to yourself with finality. You’re just cock drunk over a cock you’ll never have. 
The bartender pops the whiskey open and the hair on the back of your neck stands up, you can feel someone looking at you. Almost feel their stare heating the right side of your body. It feels as if all of your exposed skin is being covered by the gaze of whomever is looking at you, shielding you protectively from the view of the other men. The bartender's eyes flick to the corner of the room and then back to you while he hands you the drink. The shift of his gaze confirms that you weren’t imagining it, there is someone looking at you. You place the whiskey on your tray and spin cautiously to the right, stopping dead in your tracks when you lock eyes with Joel Miller. He looks dangerous, sitting at a low table along the wall, his face just barely illuminated by a single candle on the dark wooden table top. His fingers are laced together, forearms of his black dress shirt resting on the knees of his black dress pants. His lips are pressed in a thin, disapproving line. 
He stalks over to you and you wish your tray was empty so you could shield your tits from him. The way he moves is almost menacing, like a jaguar stalking his prey, his eyes are almost black in the low light of the room. Your nipples stiffen under his intense gaze, your mouth fills with saliva and you gulp loudly. You stand frozen, the whiskey for that man you had convinced yourself isn’t related to Joel forgotten about on your tray. He plucks the drink off the marble slab, the glass looking like one of those disposable paper cups you have in your bathroom in his hand. He takes two long strides and drops the glass beside the man. 
“Thanks,” he starts to coo, a ten dollar bill clasped between two fingers. After realizing it’s not you, he adds a confused, “Brother?” 
He tries to pull the money back, but Joel is quicker. Snatching it from his brother's grasp and tucking it into the breast pocket of his dress shirt. Joel turns back to you and steps in closely, your lower back hitting the cold marble bartop and you gasp, arching your back and naked breasts towards Joel. His jaw flexes as he fights to keep his eyes level with yours. 
“What are you doin’ here?” he says in a harsh whisper. 
“I’m working,” it comes out a lot more bratty and defiant than you intend it to. 
“Not here you ain’t.”
You take a small step forward, your hard nipples lightly grazing the soft fabric of his black dress shirt. “I’m not leaving.” 
His hand circles your bicep and you twist out of his grasp. “You’re makin’ a scene, darlin’.” 
“You are, Joel. I’m just trying to make money.” He grabs you more firmly this time, not tight enough to hurt you but enough for you to know he means business. 
What’s his problem anyway? He doesn’t own you. What you do outside his home is none of his business. He can boss you around via an app every other week, but that’s it. That’s where it ends. You glance desperately over at Jamie to find her back to you as she speaks softly with a man who’s waiting for the next round of poker. Her hand grazes his bicep flirtatiously, she makes it look too easy to get what she wants from men. Joel guides you towards the staff changing room, keeping your body in the dark edges of the room. He’s breathing heavily through his nose, like an angry dragon and you’re honestly surprised smoke isn’t billowing out of his nostrils. 
In the bright lights of the changing room you feel more exposed than ever. You want to lift your tray, but in order to prove to him that you don’t care what he or anyone thinks you don’t. In fact, you stand up taller, holding your head high and pushing your chest out. It’s infinitesimal but he looks down just for a nano second. You smirk when his eyes come back to you. 
“Put a shirt on.” 
“If none of the other girls have to put a shirt on then neither do I.” You pop your hip out and pull your arm free from his large calloused hand and rest it on your hip. 
“Don’t fight me on this.” 
“I’m not fighting. You are. So all those other girls are fine, but I’m not? Why? My tits aren’t big enough for you?” 
“That’s not,” he pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a breath with his eyes closed. When he reopens them his eyes land softly on yours. “I just need you not to be here. Please.” 
Bright red anger sparks along the sides of your eyes. Seriously, who does he think he is? “You aren’t the boss here, Mister Miller.” 
“Do NOT call me that.” His neck flushes the same colour as your vision. You stand your ground, eyes narrowing into glaring slits. What is his aversion to being called Mister Miller, and why does it turn you on a little bit to rile him up when you use it?
“You aren’t my boss or my dad, Joel. You can’t make me leave or tell me what jobs I can or can’t take.” You’ve figuratively dug your heels in, you aren’t leaving. He can’t make you. Only Laren or whoever owns this sex club can ask that of you. “You can’t kick me out like you own the place.” 
“Actually,” he says darkly, “I can.” 
“What?” You say through a nervous breath, eyes widening. 
“I own the place. So I can kick you out, and I am kicking you out. Get your shirt.” 
Your shoulders fall slightly. You feel about two feet tall with the realization that he doesn’t want you here. This afternoon you thought that maybe he cared, he seemed like he cared, and now you’re half naked and he wants you to leave. He watches as you unclasp your bow tie and slide on your bra and shirt. 
You look over at Jamie’s clothes and it dawns on you that you didn’t drive here. Your face falls as you blink around the room and then towards Joel. 
“What’s wrong?” he says through thick concern.
“Nothing. I just…” 
He steps towards you, he’s so broad, his presence so large that you start to feel almost claustrophobic when he’s this close, but you never want him to step away. You’d happily let him smother you with his innate Joel-ness. “You just what?”
“I didn’t drive here,” you say quietly, looking down at your hands. Your left thumb nail immediately finds purchase along the cuticle of your right thumb. 
His strong palm cups your chin, lifting until he’s looking at you again. You’re becoming more and more used to the amount of eye contact Joel seems to make. He seems constantly dialed in on you when you’re in the same room.
Yes, I would be very happy to let him smother me. 
The harsh lines of his face soften, “I can get you a car. They’ll meet you at the staff door.” 
You nod into his hand and find it exceedingly hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you that way. He drops your chin and turns his large, broad body back towards the swinging door. He looks over his shoulder and says, “I’m sorry. I just can’t have you here, this is on me.” His voice is soft and sad, almost as if he’s full of remorse and just hoping you won’t hate him before heading back into the poker game. Any bit of anger is flushed from your system, replaced with the disappointment of having to leave wherever Joel is.  
You drag your feet to the elevator and then towards the staff exit. You let the heavy door close behind you with a loud bang as a blacked out SUV pulls up. The driver says your first and last name as he opens the back door for you. You look towards the black building one last time. 
“I’m sorry. I just can’t have you here, this is on me.” 
JMKink is written in shiny metallic black on the door and all the information of the evening hits you at once. JMK. Joel Miller Kink. Joel Miller, insanely handsome millionaire, owns a sex club.
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watchmegetobsessed · 1 year
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LOVE AND TOUR
A/N: im so excited to post this fic bc *drum roll* it's a collab with @harrysfolklore !! the post tour depression is still kicking our butts so we decided to team up for a story that features LOT! hope you guys will like it and as always, make sure to head over to her blog to check out her fic that features all social media posts for this story!
WORD COUNT: 5.1k
SUMMARY: Y/N and Harry were once friends, but his career pulled them apart. Then in 2019 Harry decides to invite her to ONO London and so their story begins or more like continues.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
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2010
The handmade banner hanging over the white board in the classroom is crooked and two balloons have popped already. The sign reads ‘Good luck, Harry!’ and every letter is a different color. The desks and chairs were pushed to the side to make room in the middle and the teacher’s desk is full of snacks and drinks the kids brought in for the little impromptu party the class decided to throw before Harry’s big day.
He is going to his big X Factor audition this weekend and though he is not convinced he will make it, everyone in school is rooting for him. If anyone deserves the success it’s Harry, the goofy, kind boy who makes everyone smile and always helps whenever he can.
The soon-to-be rockstar is mingling with his friends and classmates, music is playing in the background and the chatting is nonstop. Everyone keeps asking Harry if he’s nervous or ready or which judge he is afraid of the most. He tries his best to talk to everyone and be everywhere, though he keeps an eye on one specific girl.
Y/N has been staying in the back for most of the time, sipping on some soda, listening to her friend as he enjoys the spotlight. She’s been friends with Y/N for quite some time, they live just a street away from each other, they often bike to school together and whenever one of them is sick the other one can be expected to show up at their house with the homework.
Good friends. That’s what they are. But deep down, Y/N is definitely feeling more than just friendship towards the curly haired boy who is now set to step his foot on the road to fame.
When the party is over and everyone has headed home already, Harry and Y/N are the last ones to walk out of the school’s building.
“So, be honest, are you nervous?” she asks as they are walking home , pushing their bikes this time. Harry said he hurt his ankle at PE today so he better not get on the bike, but in reality… he is just trying to spend more time with Y/N. 
“Kind of, yeah,” he admits with a chuckle.
“I’m sure you will crush it.”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” she smiles at him and his heart skips a beat. 
Harry has been trying to work up his courage to ask Y/N out since probably the sixth grade, but he just never got to the point. Now he tells himself that if he gets into X Factor she will see him in a different light and that’s when he should ask her out, but little does he know he doesn’t need to be in a talent show to have her like him enough to want him.
Reaching her house she wishes him good luck and even hugs him before he waves goodbye and continues his way home. Y/N stands by their front door and watches him get farther away, hoping that whatever happens that weekend won’t change their friendship.
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2013
The tour bus is quiet, everyone is asleep. Everyone, except Harry. 
Lying in his bunk bed, his face is illuminated by his phone as he aimlessly scrolls on his social media apps, checking out posts by fans, reading news, just killing time. He knew he shouldn’t have had a nap earlier, because now it will be way too late by the time he can fall asleep and won’t be rested enough when they arrive in the next city. 
He opens up Instagram and goes through his feed, he posts a picture he took of the crowd at the show the other day and then watches the likes flood in like crazy. 
Going back to his feed he goes through his friends’ posts, it’s just the usual, parties, vacations, hanging out, everyone seems to be living their life even though Harry often feels like time has stopped since he’s gotten on the road. 
He can feel himself growing sleepier and he is just about to put his phone down when he comes across a post that wakes him up.
Y/N is not one to post often, she is not like most girls he knows who want to share every and any moment of their life. Last time she uploaded something was probably weeks ago. This time she was snapped in her graduation gown, her hair flowing in the movement flawlessly and he recognizes her parents’ home in the background. It totally slipped Harry’s mind that in a life he left behind graduation was happening these days. 
He scrolls down to the caption and all it says is “Soon” and then a crown emoji. It’s enough for him to know she’s going to King’s College London, that’s what she always dreamed about and it seems like she hasn’t changed her mind.
Before he could think about it, he double taps on the picture liking it, completely oblivious to how fans can see his activity and they instantly start guessing about who the girl is whose graduation photo was liked by Harry Styles.
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2014
The screaming intensifies wherever Harry goes on the stage, he is jumping and shaking his long hair to the music while his bandmates are singing ‘Steal My Girl’ and the girls are going crazy, the energies are insane, Harry loves performing, this is truly his element. 
He’s been on the road for what feels like forever and if you asked him what day it was, he would have no idea. It’s a miracle he knows which city he is currently in.
Walking to the side of the stage he stops for a moment right before the bridge that’s his part. He lifts his mic to his lips and starts singing when the music dies down right before his lines.
“She knows, she knows, that I never let her down before…”
His voice fills up the stadium, thousands are singing together with him and he runs his gaze over the sea of people in front of him. He sees so many faces, some are even familiar, Harry tends to remember fans he sees over and over again at their concerts, but most of them are new. The song carries on and the boys start singing along with him, Harry is about to move back to the middle of the stage, but then he sees her.
He sees Y/N.
Or so he thinks. It’s hard to tell, because it’s dark and she is so far away from the stage, it could be just someone who resembles her, but something in his gut tells him it’s her. 
He does a double take, losing the familiar face for a moment but then he finds her again and a shiver runs down his spine. He hasn’t seen her in years, life has been simply way too hectic to keep in touch, last time he met her was probably in 2012 when he went home for Christmas, they ran into each other in town and promised to talk soon because they were both kind of in a hurry, but they never followed up with it. Y/N went to college, Harry’s career was skyrocketing, it was impossible to stay as close as they were before X Factor and Harry always regretted not trying harder, because now he has no idea what’s happening in her life. 
Niall walks up to him and pats him on the back and Harry’s focus shifts to his friend for just a moment, but it’s enough to not find her again when he looks back at the audience. Did she duck down? Walk out when she realized he was looking? Or did he just entirely imagine seeing her and it was just a mirage? 
He can’t get her out of his head for the rest of the show and he finds himself looking for her over and over again, but he doesn’t see her again and his consciousness starts to convince him she wasn’t even there. 
It was just a cruel trick his own mind played on him. 
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2019
Why does he feel like he is sending out an invitation to the Queen of England? Why is he so nervous to hit send on an email? This is nothing Earth shattering, nothing will happen if he sends it out and life will go on even if she never replies.
One Night Only is set to happen in a few weeks and Harry is now sending out his invitations to his friends and family, he wants everyone who matters to be there on such a big night. Making the list was no hard task, but then he thought of inviting Y/N as well even though they haven’t talked in so long.
The other night, Harry found himself stalking her Instagram which he is still following. She has been posting once or twice a month, tiny glimpses into her life that doesn’t include Harry anymore.
But he wants to change that.
“Fuck it,” he mumbles under his breath and then adds her to the list of people who will get the invitation and then he just hits send and it’s officially out there. 
Harry is not necessarily one to get overly obsessive about something, but the next few days he finds himself checking his inbox every hour, scrolling through the new emails, looking for one particular address to show up, but he has to come to the conclusion every time that Y/N hasn’t answered. 
Days go by, Harry’s enthusiasm fades and by the end of the week he is convinced she won’t be there and soon he doesn’t even have time to think about it. 
One Night Only arrives to London in december. The venue fills up with excited and devoted fans, but no one is more nervous about tonight than Harry. 
He is ready, his band is ready, everything is perfectly in place, but he knows he won’t feel fully calm until he is on stage, performing to the people who gave him this amazing life. 
It all goes as planned, Fine Line is finally officially out there (it has been for about a week if we are being exact) and Harry couldn’t be happier. Coming off the stage he is still high on adrenaline, taking all the congratulations the crew and guests are giving him relentlessly. His smile is so wide, it’s starting to hurt his face, but it’s a pain he could happily deal with for the rest of his life.
He hugs his mum and sister, all his old friends, they do a group hug with the band and he is sure he has greeted everyone by now, but then he spots one specific figure in the back of the room.
At first he thinks he is just imagining it. That his mind is playing the same trick on him it did a few years ago when he thought he saw Y/N at one of their concerts. Blinking a couple of times he is ready to watch her disappear like a ghost, but as the seconds go by he realizes that she is truly there.
Y/N is standing across the room with a nervous smile, looking all grown up and most importantly fucking beautiful. Even though Harry has seen plenty of pictures of her from recent times, it’s still a shock to have her stand in the same room as him. 
His body moves before his brain could process it. His feet start to carry him towards her and before he even realizes he is running and when he finally reaches her he wraps her in his arms, twirling her around, making both of them laugh.
“You’re here!” he breathes out, still hugging her even when he has put her down.
“I am, you invited me!” she chuckles and they finally lean back enough to look at each other. 
“I know, but… you never replied, I didn’t think you’d come and… You are actually here,” he repeats.
“Sorry I didn’t reply, I wasn’t sure until the very last minute if I would come,” she admits nervously.
Harry’s invitation was all she could think about since the morning she got the email. It was more than unexpected, for a moment she even thought it was just some kind of prank, but it came from Harry's old email address, so she had to believe that it was genuine. She hesitated until probably a few days ago when she woke up one day and just knew that she had to be here tonight. 
“It’s okay,” he smiles at her softly, taking in her every feature. The girl he knew is still there, but she changed a lot, she looks so much more mature and her features have definitely gotten a lot more feminine. 
She looks gorgeous. 
Suddenly it all comes down on him clashing, all the questions, the feelings, he wants to know everything, but he fears they don’t have enough time.
“How long are you staying?” he then asks.
“I took a couple of days off, I’m staying for three more days.”
He sighs in relief. 
“Come on,” he smiles, his hand taking hers. “I want to know everything.”
“Everything?” she chuckles, ignoring the tingles wherever his hand is touching hers.
“Harry, don’t assault the poor girl! She almost didn’t come!” Gemma chimes in. Harry stops, his eyes snapping back and forth between Y/N and his sister.
“Wait, you knew she would be coming?” he asks Gemma, who is sipping on some champagne with a knowing smile. She shrugs.
“Yeah.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” he scoffs, hands on his hips. The sight makes Y/N laugh, because she can see his sixteen year-old self in the pose so vividly, it’s insane.
“You never asked,” Gemma says and walks away. Harry turns back to Y/N.
“She messaged me if I got your invitation,” she admits. 
“So you’re telling me, all I should have done is to send you a message and ask for confirmation?”
Y/N just chuckles, shrugging her shoulders innocently. Harry exhales as he shakes his head.
“Alright, now you truly have to tell me everything.”
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2020
“Can you hear me?” Harry asks, as the FaceTime finally loads and Y/N’s pixelated face fills his phone’s screen. He leans back on his plush couch and he tries his best to ignore how fast his heart starts pounding in his chest when he hears her laugh.
“Yeah, I can hear you,” she answers and it seems like she just sat down somewhere too.
Struggling with the unstable connection they share how their day has been so far, though Harry has been up just for a few hours while Y/N’s is almost over. The time difference has been making it hard for them to keep in touch, but Harry has learned his lesson and he bends his schedule around these talks, because there’s no way he would waste even a moment he could spend talking to her.
ONO and the days that followed changed everything. It didn’t take long for Harry to realize that his boyish crush is still very much present and after seeing her it quickly evolved into something more mature. Seemingly, Y/N has been sharing these feelings, because it appears she enjoys spending time with Harry in any way possible just as much as he does. 
It took them quite some time to catch up and it feels like they still haven’t shared everything they missed in each other’s life in the past years, but they know they have all the time they need, even if the circumstances might not always be the best. They are both trying their best.
There’s a comfortable silence in their call where both of them are just staring at each other through the screen. The unsaid things have been hanging there between them, they know it’s more than just their old friendship rekindled, but saying the words out through a FaceTime call wouldn’t be right.
“I miss you,” Harry finds himself mumbling the words, kind of to himself, but she hears the words.
“I miss you too,” she replies, biting her lip as she adjusts the phone in her hands.
“Can I… Can I see you before I go on tour?”
“That’s like… in three weeks,” she chuckles.
“I know. But I want to see you.”
“I don’t know, I have a regular, mundane job, I’m not an international rockstar who can just travel whenever it’s convenient,” she reminds him jokingly.
“Okay, then let me visit you.”
“You’re way too busy to come here.”
“I’m never too busy for you.”
She gasps at his words, the pink clouds so thick around her mind it’s almost sickening. If only she could reach out and through the screen…
“Let’s talk about it tomorrow and if you still think the same, we can… figure something out,” she smiles shyly. Harry knows he’ll feel the same tomorrow and the day after and forever. So he just smiles and nods.
They chat some more until Harry has to leave. Unwillingly, but they end the call and return to their separate lives.
Y/N stays on her couch, her phone still in her hands and Harry on her mind. Her TV is on, but it’s been muted, the screen is the only thing illuminating her in the dark room. With a tired sigh she reaches for the remote and turns the volume back on.
The news are on. She stands from the couch and starts cleaning up, not even listening to what they are talking about on the screen.
“... therefore COVID-19 has been officially declared a pandemic. WHO warns everyone to wear a mask in all public places, countries with a high number of cases are urgently discussing what other safety measures should…”
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Y/N is questioning her sanity. She has been for the past week that was spent packing her suitcase, she took three covid tests in the last two days and now she is about to board a private jet at an airport that’s scarily empty. The last part shouldn’t be surprising, the whole world is under lockdown because of the pandemic, Y/N has spent her last month isolated in her apartment, right until one day Harry begged her to fly over to him.
“Y/N, please. I will settle everything, I’ll send a private jet for you, pay for it all, just please… please come here and be with me!”
There’s probably nothing she can deny from him. So here she is, escorted onto a private jet by an airport worker, they are both wearing their masks, just like everyone she has seen in the past week preparing for her travel.
Just as she settles in her seat on the jet, her phone buzzes from a text.
HARRY: Everything alright? Are you boarding already?
With a smile hidden under her mask she types her reply.
Y/N: On the plane, we’re taking off in 10.
HARRY: I can’t wait to see you.
Last time she traveled overseas was for a vacation years ago. She flew commercial then and it felt like hell, wedged between an obnoxious little boy and a middle aged woman who complained about everything. Now it’s just her and literally one single stewardess who is there to serve her. It’s a whole different experience for sure. 
Luckily, the journey feels a lot shorter when she’s comfortable, she can get up anytime and eat excellent food instead of some weird frozen meal on a plastic plate. By the time the jet touches down she feels rested and most importantly excited to see Harry again. It feels like forever when they had to say goodbye in december and in all honesty, it took them way longer to reunite, but it’s all because of the pandemic. It’s late april now, they were planning to meet about a month ago originally at the end of march before his tour was set to kick off. By now he was supposed to be on the road through Europe, but instead, he has been under lockdown just like the rest of the world.
She walks through LAX as if it was zombie land, it’s so eerily empty she is expecting zombies to round the corner any minute, but it never happens. She reaches the car waiting for her, the driver loads her begs to the trunk and then they are off to Harry’s place. 
It’s her first time at Harry’s LA home, and naturally it still baffles her to see where he’s gotten from his old life in Holmes Chapel, one that included her.
But his life includes her now as well, she reminds herself just as the car rolls up the long driveway. Getting out of the car she is about to grab her suitcases from the back of the car when the front door flies open and Harry sprints out. Literally.
He is running towards her with such speed, she almost gets knocked over when he finally reaches her and locks her in his arms, twirling around in the air.
“You’re here!” he breathes out, making her laugh.
“Were you not expecting me?” she teases him when he finally puts her down, but his arms remain around her.
“It’s just… I’m so happy to see you,” he smiles widely, taking her in. She hasn’t changed much since December, maybe her hair has gotten a little longer, but she looks the same.
However their feelings are nowhere near the same.
He thanks the driver and then grabs all her bags, urging her to come inside. Y/N wanders further into his home exploring it right away, already migrating towards the pool outside. Harry sets her luggage down in the hallway and walks after her, watching her stop by the sliding doors, admiring the enormous backyard. She turns around and catches him staring.
“What?” she asks, nervously laughing.
“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”
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2021
He’s nervous. There’s no use in denying, anyone could see it. But no one can blame him, it’s been so long since he last stood on a stage, he’s afraid he lost his groove, though the people who know him beg to differ. 
Washing his teeth in his fluffy robe he is eyeing his outfit for tonight that’s hanging in the corner. He knows his fans will love it, the color pink alone would make them go feral, but the sparkly vest with no top underneath will be surely like they won the jackpot. 
He spits and rinses his mouth just when there’s a soft knock on the door and just by the rhythm of it he knows who it is.
“Come in!” he calls out, wiping his mouth with a towel just when Y/N pokes her head inside, her body following a second later. 
“Hey,” she smiles shyly, taking him in for a second as he moves around the room.
“Told you, you don’t have to knock when you come in,” he chuckles.
“But, what if you’re… naked or something?”
He stops and stares back at her, giving her an ‘Are you kidding me?’ look that gets her all flustered in an instant so he decides to take it even further.
“Nothing you haven’t seen, baby. In fact, you can see it right now if you wanted to.” He starts untying his robe, but she stops him laughing and taking the opportunity of having her so close now he wraps her in his arms and kisses her.
It never gets old. The feeling he gets whenever he gets to kiss her, whether it’s a good morning kiss right after he wakes up, or a tired kiss at the end of the day, a needy kiss when he just wants her more than anything or a make-up kiss after a fight, which doesn’t happen often. He can count it on one hand how many times they got into an argument since they’ve become an item in April 2020, when Y/N spent most of the lockdown with Harry. Originally, she planned to stay only for a couple of weeks, but she didn’t return home until the start of June and she was back by July.
Now it’s September 2021, so it’s been almost one and a half years since then and they are still just as in love as they were during lockdown.
“You’re nervous,” she mumbles against his lips and it’s not a question. She knows him, all of his looks, his movements, she knows what he thinks about most of the time if not always, she can read him like a book.
Harry hums and just goes in for another kiss.
“You’ll be amazing, don’t worry,” she smiles at him, patting his chest as she pulls back. “And even if you make a mistake, the pink sparkles will distract everyone,” she jokes, nodding towards his outfit.
“You’ll be out there?”
“Of course. I’ll be the one screaming the loudest.”
“As loud as last night?” The cheeky grin that stretches across his face is proof that he is not that nervous if he can make dirty jokes.
“Shut up or I’m going home,” she laughs, poking a finger into his chest teasingly. He grabs her finger and pulls her back for another kiss.
“Nope, you’re stuck here. With me,” he smirks, lips coming over hers again.
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2023
The bittersweet feeling has been lingering around the crew not just all day, but probably for a week now. Everyone knew that the end was coming and now that the final show is officially here, the emotions are overflowing. Everything they are doing, they are doing it for the last time on Love On Tour. It’s the last stage, the last sound check, last time Wet Leg takes the stage before Harry and it’s the last time Y/N is sitting in his dressing room, watching him put on his outfit of the night.
She can sense that he is different than he usually is before a show, he seems antsy and his eyebrows have been furrowed probably since lunch. Y/N watches him pace the floor back and forth in his sparkly outfit, nervously fixing the wire behind his neck even though it’s exactly in the same spot it usually is.
“Do you want me to help?” she asks and Harry stops in his tracks, as if he just realized what he’s been doing. His hands fall by his side as he exhales sharply.
“Sorry, just… fidgeting.”
Y/N stands from the couch and walking over she absentmindedly fixes his fringed vest, planting her palms onto his chest gently.
“It’s okay to be sad, H,” she reminds him. Harry tends to hide his big, sad feelings, because he feels like it would bother others. He is always so considerate about dealing with everyone else’s feelings, but this time his emotions should be in focus as well.
“I don’t want to be sad, that’s the thing. It was a great experience, sadness should not be a thing when I think of Love On Tour.”
“But that’s why it’s okay to be sad. Because this amazing experience is ending and it’s natural that you’re mourning it. It lasted, what? Like almost two years? And if we count in the planning, this tour has been part of your life since 2019. That was four years ago, no one expects you to just let go of it laughing.”
Harry nods, his arms snaking around her waist as he pulls her into his embrace, needing to feel her close in this overwhelming moment. She’s been his anchor, the person he could turn to no matter what during this insanely long tour, he’s convinced he couldn’t have done it all without her. 
Not even Harry can slow time down, so the moment to step onto the stage for the last time in this tour finally comes. Y/N stands with his family and friends at the side, holding Anne’s hands whenever an emotional song is played by him. He puts one thousand percent into it, just like every time on this tour and Y/N’s chest swells with pride when she realizes that it’s one hundred thousand people screaming at her lover.
Or fiancé, to be exact. 
When Harry sings Falling, to his fans’ surprise, she notices him looking for her in the crowd. The song is melancholic and it was written about a time he felt at his lowest, but to look in his eyes tells it all to Y/N.
He is not there anymore, because he has her. 
She’s twisting her diamond ring around her finger as tears dwell in her eyes while she sings along to the song, hoping that her expression tells him too, that she is happy to be the person who brought light into his life, because he did the same to her.
Then the time comes for Harry’s thank you speech and no eye is left dry after his words. Y/N has to swallow back her sobs when he turns to her and addresses his words straight to her.
“My love, thank you for everything, you were such a big part of this journey and I hope that our journey will continue forever.”
The fans are screaming, phones are pointed at her, recording her reaction as she just nods eagerly, one hand covering her wobbling lips. 
For his final piano piece Y/N moves backstage to watch him from there and be there when he walks off the stage for the very last time in the history of Love On Tour. She is standing there with the proudest and most emotional expression on her face when Harry jumps down the steps and he smashes into her arms right away, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She can feel his tears against her skin and she gently keeps combing her hand through his hair, giving him as much time to recover as he needs. 
When he finally lifts his head his eyes are glassy, but there’s a smile on his lips.
“You did amazing,” Y/N tells him, gently wiping his cheeks with her hands.
“And you did too,” he says and his words make her laugh.
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You did the absolute most, Y/N. You gave me your love and support and I couldn’t have done it without those.”
Her heart melts as she pushes up to her tiptoes, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
“You’ll forever have those. You’ll forever have me.”
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
1K notes · View notes
salfishersface · 8 months
Note
Omg I love your writing!! I love all of it so much! Is it okay if you can write a story of sal and fem reader having a argument on her birthday. And afterwards he apologizes and they have a nice night~❤️🥺
I hope you have a nice day and lmk if there's any other way to support!!
Birthday || Sal Fisher
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Synopsis - You invite Travis to your birthday party and Sal gets a little jealous.
Warnings - NSFW.
Notes - Characters are aged 18+!
Word Count - 1.6k.
{Caffeinate Me}
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You had decided to throw a party to celebrate your birthday and had invited all your friends from Larry to Ash, from Todd, to Neil and others that you had grown to love since high school. But it wouldn’t be a party without your loving boyfriend, Sal. 
You were currently standing in the living room, conversing with some of your guests. Sal’s left arm was wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him as he watched you sip the alcohol drink in your hand when suddenly the doorbell rang. “Expecting some more guests?” Sal asked, looking around to see who was there. 
“Just one more,” you said sheepishly, pulling away from his grasp and heading towards the door. You slowly opened the door to reveal Travis Phelps. He stood there playing with his hands, clearly uncomfortable and confused as to why you had even invited him. Your boyfriend watched from afar as the blonde entered your home, jealousy and rage bubbling in his gut as you hugged the man. “Make yourself at home,” you smiled at Travis, walking over to the dining room table and passing him an alcoholic beverage. “Don’t worry so much, if I didn’t want you here, you wouldn’t be here.” 
Sal’s eyebrows narrowed under his prosthetic. Why would you even invite Travis of all people? He made your high school life miserable! Not to mention the jealousy he was feeling about your hands on another man. When you made your way back over to Sal, he grabbed your arm and dragged you upstairs to your room, slamming the door behind the two of you. “What is he doing here?” Sal snapped, running a hand through his blue hair. 
“Who?” You asked, pretending to be ignorant. 
“You know who,” Sal replied, biting the inside of his cheek. 
“Travis?” You asked. Sal just nodded. “I felt sorry for him. I wanted to invite him so he knew that I didn’t hate him for what he put me through in high school.” 
Sal was pacing back and forth, clearly distressed. “And you hug him… Like that?” 
Your eyes widened at Sal’s words and you realised quickly that he was jealous. “You’re seriously jealous of Travis Phelps?” 
“No,” Sal mumbled, kicking his feet on the floor. “Why would I be jealous of him?” 
“I don’t know Sal, why would you be jealous of him?” You asked. 
“I’m not jealous,” Sal grumbled, looking down at you through the eye-holes in his prosthetic. “Just don’t want my girl touching him like that.”
“Like what?” 
“Like that,” he hissed. 
“You’re not making any sense Sally.” 
Sal walked over to you and placed his hands on your shoulders roughly, gazing into your eyes. “I don’t want him here. I don’t want him anywhere near you.” 
You rolled your eyes and lolled your head back to look at the ceiling, a growl emitting from your throat.  “I’m not sending him home, Sal.”
“Yes. You. Are.” 
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” you hissed, shrugging his hands off of your shoulders. 
Sal surprised you by taking off his prosthetic roughly and letting it fall onto your bedroom floor. His blue eyes narrowed at you and his scarred lips turned into a frown. “I’ll tell you exactly what to do,” he growled. 
“No you will not,” you said, voice stern. 
“Get on the bed,” Sal snapped, pointing to your bed. 
“Or what?” 
“Or I’ll make you.” With your cheekiness, Sal pushed you onto the bed, his forehead resting against yours as he breathed heavily. “If you’re not going to send him home, I’ll make you scream so loud that everyone gets the message and leaves.” 
Anticipation filled your body and a familiar sensation settled between your legs. You shouldn’t have been getting aroused at his threats, but you couldn’t help it. The thought of everyone hearing you scream Sal’s name had you dripping. The possibilities were endless. “I think you’re too scared,” you tease, a grin on your lips. All thoughts of your silly little argument had left your head. 
His nose bumped against your own and he grinned. “Oh. You think so?” Sal trailed a hand down your body, tucking it into your underwear and slicking his index finger up your slit. “You’re so wet for me already baby,” he hummed in approval. 
“Just the thought of everyone hearing me scream your name,” you mumble, cheeks heating up with embarrassment. “It does something to me.”
“Oh?” Sal asked with a raised eyebrow, his index finger teasing your tight hole. “Is that so?” 
You nodded shyly and hummed, your eyes fluttering closed as Sal slowly inched his index finger inside of you. “Oh God,” you whimpered. 
“Oh pretty baby,” Sal cooed as he bent his head down to catch your neck in a wet kiss. “You’re so fucking tight.” You whimpered again in response as Sal slowly began to move his finger in and out of you, his thumb bumping against your clit with each movement he made. With a few more thrusts, Sal was inserting his middle finger into your tight cunt, stretching you out even more. 
“S-Sal,” you croaked. 
“That’s right baby, say my name,” he growled as he continued to plunge his fingers inside of you. Your hands flew to the bedsheets, gripping them tightly as you felt your orgasm approaching already. Sal must have felt your pussy clench around his fingers as he chuckled lightly and bit down on your neck causing you to moan. “Feel good baby girl?”
“Y-Yes!” You cried out, eyes rolling back into your head. “Sally. I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that!” 
“Cum for me precious,” he cooed, kissing your neck once more and biting just enough to leave a large purple mark that would be visible for days to come. On his command, you felt yourself cumming over his fingers, spraying your underwear that you were still wearing with your juices. Sal grinned and chuckled, admiring the way you squirted at just his fingers alone. “Such a good girl baby. So good for me.” 
“I-I am so good for you Sal so please,” you begged. “Please fuck me.”  
“I’ll fuck you nice and good baby, I promise,” Sal whispered as he quickly unbuttoned his jeans and freeing his cock from his boxers. He was already erect, cock leaking milky pre-cum as he pumped himself vigorously. “Undress yourself,” Sal commanded, watching as you slowly moved to tug down your trousers and soaked panties. He let out a shaky breath as he watched you, biting his bottom lip as he continued to jerk himself off. When your trousers and underwear were off, and in a heap on the floor, Sal immediately jumped on top of you, pressing you down against the mattress as he slicked his cock up your folds. “Stay still baby, this won’t hurt. I promise.” And like that, he slammed into you. You let out a scream of pleasure, eyes widening as he stretched you out good and proper. Tears filled your eyes as Sal began to move against you, giving you no time to adjust to his large length. 
“Sally!” You cried out, back arching slightly off the bed. 
“That’s right, let everyone know who you belong to,” Sal smirked as he thrusted against yours rigorously. His thrusts were relentless, every ounce of jealousy he had felt previously was leaving his body now that he was inside of you.
“Please please please!” You cried out, almost screaming. You bit your bottom lip, suddenly conscious of the noises you were making and Sal just chuckled.  
“Don’t be shy baby,” he whispered, nipping at your collarbone. “Let everyone know, including Travis, that you’re mine.” Sal’s sudden possessiveness sent a shiver down your spine and had you writhing beneath him. “Stay still,” he huffed, slamming against you. 
“Feels too good,” you whimpered, screwing your eyes shut and throwing your head back against the mattress. You felt your second orgasm approaching and your fingers flew to your clit, immediately rubbing circles on your sensitive nub. 
“I feel you clenching around me,” Sal gasped out, hips still smashing against yours. He was a groaning, moaning mess as he continued his pace. His balls smashed against your arse rapidly with each thrust. “Oh God Y/N, yes!” He whispered against your neck. 
“Sal, I’m gonna cum again!” You cried out gleefully, giggling slightly as your orgasm washed over you. Your legs shook violently around Sal’s hips and he stuttered as you contracted around him. 
“Fuck Y/N, I’m cumming baby, I’m cumming,” Sal repeated over and over again as he thrusted deep into you one last time, pumping rope after rope inside of you. 
“Fuck!” You shouted out, wrapping your arms around Sal’s torso and pulling him closer to you. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you as he continued to spill himself into your womb, moaning your name over and over again. 
After a few seconds of sloppy thrusting, Sal’s hips came to a halt and his entire body shivered with pleasure. “Holy shit,” he whispered, laughing slightly. “I love you Y/N.”
“I love you too, Sal,” you smiled as he pressed his lips to yours softly in an all-encompassing kiss. 
“Do you think anyone is still downstairs?”
“The music is pretty loud,” you replied with a shrug. 
“Yeah, but so were you,” Sal poked at you jokingly. 
You rolled your eyes and a light blush covered your cheeks. “Shut up,” you mumbled, burying your face in the sheets next to you. 
“It was hot,” Sal tried to comfort you, but you didn’t believe him. 
“We should head back downstairs,” you say, pushing Sal off of your body and sitting up to grab your trousers and underwear off the floor. 
“Yeah we should, people are probably missing the birthday girl,” Sal cooed, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he dressed his bottom half and picked his prosthetic up off the floor, placing it gently back on his face. “Y/N, I seriously love you. With all my heart.” 
“I love you too, Sally Face.” 
504 notes · View notes
jinkoh · 2 months
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the sun goes down
but it will rise again tomorrow
yunho x fem!reader
summary: things with yunho started as a means of comfort, you were in love with someone else after all. but why was it feeling like more than that?
tags: fwb to lovers, hurt/comfort, smut, unrequited love, sorta rich kid!au, also college, also beach, yunho has a tragic back story™, alternating povs (mostly yours); warnings: alcohol consumption, family issues, blood/injuries
wc: 6.2k
listen to: walk off the earth - summer vibe
a/n: writing an atz fic was definitely not on my bingo sheet but here i am and why is it 6k : D it's kind of a mess but it'd be a waste not to post it when it's already written. it's my first ateez fic so pls be gentle with me 👉🏻👈🏻 also i did hongjoong kinda dirty in this, i humbly apologize 🙇🏻‍♀️
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It was too warm, your skin sticky with sweat, and Yunho wrapping his arm around you from behind didn't make it any better.
“It’s too hot to cuddle,” you complained, shaking your shoulders to get him to back off, but Yunho didn’t seem bothered. 
“Then let’s not cuddle,” he mumbled into your neck and you could practically feel his grin against your skin. His lips left a trail of kisses on your spine, slowly moving from your nape to your exposed back. 
"Again?,” you sighed, but you’d already closed your eyes, letting him continue his soft ministrations. It felt good, despite the heat in his attic bedroom. “I really shouldn’t let you call me up in summer."
"It was already summer when we started this arrangement, though."
"Maybe we shouldn’t have."
"Don't say that,” he nibbled on your skin, “What would I do without you?”
“You could look for someone else. And I could lay in my bed, in my room that actually has an AC.” Why he didn’t have one was beyond you, especially since you remembered his parents being well off. Then again, this tiny apartment above the surf school didn’t really reek of money either.
“Well,” Yunho shrugged, “I wouldn’t mind doing it at your place.”
“But I would mind.”
“I know,” he hummed, his arm on your waist making you turn around to him, “so you come here instead, and complain the whole time.” He pecked your lips, “But you just can’t stay away.”
“It’s convenient,” you argued with a little frown that got lost in another kiss.
“No, no, you just can’t get enough of me.”
“If that makes you feel better,” you replied, pushing him onto his back and letting him pull you along to sit on top of him.
“What really makes me feel better,” he said with a grin, his hands finding your hips to make you grind into him, “is this.”
"Perv," you chuckled, leaning down to kiss his lips as you felt him getting hard under you again. He honestly had more stamina than was good for him, or you.
"As if you're one to talk, I can literally feel how wet you are. I know you're excited too," he let his hand wander a bit from your hips, his thumb ghosting over your clit and making you shudder, "It's a good thing we didn't get dressed yet."
"If you know then stop teasing."
"No way," he grinned, his thumb flicking over your still sensitive spot again, "that's the best part."
You let out a needy whine, impatient for more. You rolled your hips in an attempt to get some friction and it drew a soft groan out of him too, but then his hands tightened around your hips, making you still.
"Come on," you complained, remembering the way he'd edged you relentlessly just half an hour ago and not too fond of the idea of being kept waiting like that again, "haven't you been mean enough to me already?"
"Aww," Yunho cooed with his stupidly pretty doe eyes looking at you, "you poor thing. All needy and impatient, hm?" He rolled you both over so he was towering above you, caging you in. "But you're just so cute like that," he continued, kissing your pout right off your lips.
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“You didn’t come home last night, did you?” Hongjoong asked at the breakfast table, watching as you emptied the last swig of coffee from the can into your cup. 
“Uh, no.” You didn’t dare to look at your roommate as you added milk, “Got kinda late so I just stayed over.” You weren’t a good liar so you thought it was best to keep it vague. Hongjoong wasn’t usually that interested in your friends anyway. Except, right now his eyes were boring into the back of your head.
“Where?”
Your grip around the handle of your cup briefly tightened. “My friend’s place? I met with the girls yesterday, remember?” It still wasn’t a lie, you argued with yourself. You did meet them yesterday, it just so happened that you went to another friend’s place after. 
“Right,” Hongjoong nodded slowly. “Was it good?”
“Yeah, sure, it was …good.”
Before he could say anything else, Yeosang shuffled into the kitchen, messy bed hair falling into his face. A sense of relief washed over you, hoping for the topic to finally be dropped now that your other roommate was there. But Yeosang was all too keen on disappointing you. “Oh?” He raised an eyebrow at you when he spotted you, “When did you come back? You didn’t sleep here did you?”
You wanted to kill him.
“No,” Hongjoong replied in your stead as he got up from the kitchen table and left the room, “She stayed at her friend’s.”
“What’s up with him?” Yeosang asked, his eyes following Hongjoong for another moment. Then he briefly lifted the coffee can, just to find it empty.
“Don’t ask me.”
“Hm,”  he casually stole the cup from your hands. “So you’ve been at your friend’s, huh?”
“I’m with my friends all the time,” you replied a bit too harshly, snatching back your coffee, “What’s the big deal?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“Ugh, forget about it,” you grumbled, taking another sip of your coffee, before you surrendered your cup to Yeosang and retreated to your room. You didn’t have the energy to deal with their suspicions anymore. Not, when they were very right to be suspicious.
Looking at the situation from the outside, this secretiveness might seem uncalled for. It wasn’t any of their business who you slept with anyway, and both you and Yunho were single. So, you sleeping with him shouldn’t be a big deal. But it was, because you've had a crush on Hongjoong since you’d moved in with him and Yeosang at the beginning of last semester, and there were times when you thought he felt the same, except he actually had a girlfriend. And Yunho just so happened to be his friend that he'd known since middle school and one of the last people you should be sleeping with if you wanted to hang onto that dream of Hongjoong and you. There was no way you could let either of your roommates (or any of their other friends) find out about your arrangement with Yunho. In an ideal universe, you would've never slept with him in the first place, but that ship had long sailed.
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You hadn’t planned on accompanying them to the beach. You felt awkward around Hongjoong since the little interrogation and you felt even more awkward about the thought of meeting Yunho with him around. You hadn’t seen both of them at the same time since that one night at the beach a few weeks ago, when the whole thing between you and Yunho had started. Just like today, Yeosang had convinced you to tag along, saying he needed someone sane with him to survive the night. You’d ended up agreeing, especially when Hongjoong said he’d take you down to the beach in his car. But then, of course, his girlfriend had called him over and he’d left, completely forgetting that he was supposed to be your ride back. Everyone else, including Yeosang, had come by bicycle, so you were stuck. Except, Yunho had a pretty sturdy bike rack and a home that wasn’t too far from the beach. So, a few hours later, you’d found yourself on the back of his bicycle, intoxicated and depressed and clinging to the shirt of a guy you’d barely ever talked to before.
“We’re there,” Yunho said when he stopped in the tiny driveway that surely wouldn’t fit a car, waiting for you to get down first before he did the same.
“Thanks,” you mumbled as you hopped off, one of your hands still holding onto his shirt. He glanced down at it but when you showed no intention of letting go, he just let it be. You trailed behind when he leaned the bike against the house wall, and then still when he unlocked the door and led you up the narrow stairs. Your thoughts were barely there at all, even when he sat you down at a small table and finally pried your hand off his shirt to get you a glass of water. All you could think of was Hongjoong and his girlfriend and the way he’d completely forgotten all about you the second she'd called. You knew you wouldn’t have considered it a big deal if it had been anyone else, happy for them that they got to see their significant other. But it was Hongjoong. Your Hongjoong. Though, truthfully, he was actually hers.
You felt tears pricking at your eyes, the alcohol making you wear your heart on your sleeve. Yunho must have noticed your watery eyes, even in the half-light of the apartment, because he left the water on the table before kneeling down in front of you. “You okay?”
You shrugged. “It’s just—it really hurts to be left behind.”
A small, bitter smile played on his lips. “Yeah, it does.”
“But I get it though. She’s so pretty,” your lower lip wobbled as you spoke, “do you think things would be different if I was as pretty as her?”
He tilted his head to make you meet his gaze. “You are, though. You are so pretty.”
For a few seconds you just looked at him. He had big brown eyes that you’d never really noticed before, but now you thought they were kind and beautiful. His lips were beautiful too.
“Prove it then,” you whispered, tears spilling down your cheeks.
There was a brief moment of hesitation, as if he was trying to figure out if he really got it right. But then he leaned up, brushing his lips against yours. The kiss tasted a bit like alcohol and a bit like tears, but somehow it was still so sweet.
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“What are you thinking about?” Yeosang nudged you in the side, making you snap out of your little trance.
“Nothing much,” you replied, lowering your hand that you hadn’t even noticed wandering to your lips.
“Nothing much, hm?” He raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask further and instead offered you his beer. You took a swig, gazing into the flames of the bonfire. The smoke burned in your eyes a bit but you couldn’t really be bothered. Just like that night, Hongjoong had left early, but contrary to that night, Yunho wasn’t there. Mingi said he’d come a little later, but you weren’t sure if he really would. At least you had your own bike with you this time, so it didn’t really matter. (But why did you feel so disappointed?)
Just when you were considering telling Yeosang that you’d go home first, you spotted Yunho coming down to the beach. For a brief moment his gaze landed on you, but then Mingi patted the space next to him in the sand and he sat down with a smile. Your eyes stayed on him for another moment, watching as they talked. His cheek looked red you thought, bruised, but maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. But then you noticed that his right hand was bruised too, the skin around his knuckles scraped and red. You knew what caused injuries like that, you weren’t stupid. But what you didn’t know was why Yunho would punch anyone.
“Some guys have been picking fights with him,” Yeosang mumbled, “They’re kinda holding a grudge against his dad.”
“Oh,” you let out, and you barely managed to stop yourself from asking further questions. You weren’t supposed to have anything to do with Yunho, so it’d be best not to be too nosy. “And why would you tell me that?”
Yeosang shrugged with a knowing grin. “Just had a feeling that you wanted to know.”
“Not really.”
“If you say so.” With that he got up to get himself a new drink, leaving you momentarily alone to dwell in your thoughts.
The night lightly floated along, filled with soft laughter and the smell of smoke and the ocean, but your gaze kept snapping back to Yunho and the blood on his knuckles. It didn’t fit into the picture of him that you’d painted in your head, though to be fair you’d mostly painted it in his bed, so how much did you really know? 
“I think, I’m going to leave,” Yeosang eventually told you, “are you coming too?”
Your eyes were still on Yunho and just when you wanted to tear them away, he looked over too, meeting your gaze. There was something inquiring about his expression, as if he knew exactly what you were talking about; as if he wanted you to stay.
“No,” you eventually mumbled, turning your head to Yeosang but your eyes needed a second longer to follow, “I think I’ll stay a little longer.”
Your roommate huffed a laugh, “Alright, guess you’ll be back in the morning?”
“No, I—yeah, I guess.”
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“You stayed for me,” Yunho said with a smile as you dragged your bicycles along the promenade back to his place. There was no reason not to ride other than the night being warm and beautiful and the fact that it was nice to walk together.
“Not for you,” you corrected, “for me.”
“Same thing.”
It was quiet for a moment except for the sound of the waves. His right hand held onto the handlebar of his bike, his bruises in plain sight.
“What happened?” You asked and it made his gaze self-consciously flicker to his hand as well.
“It’s fine, just got held up a little.”
“By whom?”
“Just—just some guys.” Yunho seemed to be looking anywhere but you.
“Because of your dad?”
When his head snapped around to you he looked surprised, “You know about that?”
“No,” you assured, “I don’t know, not really. But you can tell me if you want.” or not, you wanted to add when it stayed silent, but then Yunho spoke up after all.
“It was a pretty big deal, to be honest. Well, at least in certain circles it was. Everyone was talking about it last year. The thought that you don't know is kinda refreshing, to be honest.”
"You don't have to tell me."
"No, it's okay."
“Do the guys know?” You asked even though you were convinced at least Yeosang and Mingi did.
“They do. I’ve known them for so long now, some of them since middle school, so of course they know. It was public knowledge anyway.” He huffed a bitter laugh.
“So, what happened?”
He shrugged. “Miscalculations, I guess. Bad deals. Loans falling through. That kinda thing.”
“Is that really bad enough to pick a fight?”
“Honestly?” he looked at you with his dark brown eyes, “Yeah. It is. When my dad’s business crashed, it took others with him. If your family goes bankrupt because of someone else’s mistake, that’s a pretty good reason to pick a fight over, isn’t it?”
“But it wasn’t your fault.”
“No, but I’m the only one who’s here.”
“Where’s your dad?”
“Abroad. My mom too. It was pretty hard to stay, you know?”
“Why didn’t you go with them?”
He shrugged. “What was I gonna do abroad? My friends are here and college is here too. And I don’t like running away anyway.”
“Hmm,” you hummed, “you’re pretty cool.”
That actually made him laugh, and you liked the way it lit up his face, “Thanks, I guess.”
“Yunho?”
“Mhm?”
“Thank you for telling me.”
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Yunho liked to be a little mean, teasing you relentlessly with a sweet smile on his face. But tonight was soft and gentle, just like that first time. He pulled you into his lap and cradled you in his arms as if you were something precious, and you did the same for him, kissing his bruises with gentle lips in hopes it could heal them.
“You really are so pretty,” Yunho mumbled into the skin over your collar bones, and his low voice left goose bumps in its wake. His hands on your hips pulled you close, having you grind into him in slow motions. There was no teasing nor was there any of that impatient heat you usually felt. Instead, it was just warm and intimate, and it felt more like love than it should have. After all, this was just an arrangement of comfort and convenience, it wasn’t supposed to feel this close.
“I need to go,” you whispered, prying Yunho’s arm off your waist.
“Why? Just stay, it’s late.”
“No, I can’t.” you slipped out of the blankets, searching for your clothes that were scattered on the floor. 
“Why?”
You couldn’t find your panties, so you slipped into your shorts just like that. It’d make do for the way home. “Hongjoong’s been kinda suspicious about—I don’t even know, he’s just suspicious of something.” You thought you saw Yunho flinch from your peripheral vision at the mention of his friend’s name, but you couldn’t be too sure. He didn’t say anything else and just watched as you put your shirt back on.
“Text me when you get home,” he eventually mumbled when you were about to leave the room, “So I know you’re safe.”
For a second there you felt your heart skip, but then you shook it off. Convenience, you reminded yourself, comfort and convenience.
“Sure.”
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Once you were gone, Yunho dropped back into his pillows, rubbing his face in frustration. He should have known better than to think you’d fallen in love with him. Of course Hongjoong was your priority, always. He knew that so well, he’d known it from the moment he’d first kissed you. But there was just something about the way he felt when you were together, that made him want to forget. At first it’d been nothing but a little crush, but the more time he’d spent with you, the more he was convinced he was actually in love with you. You made him feel like home in ways no one else did. 
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“When were you back?” Hongjoong asked while he took out a bowl for some cereal. One bowl, you noted, which meant that his girlfriend hadn’t stayed over, even though they’d met up so late. It made you curious, but you didn’t know how to ask about it. You never knew how to ask about anything that had to do with her, too worried he could sense your feelings if you did.
“Around 3? Maybe?”
He nodded slowly. “That’s late.”
“Yeah.”
“San said he and Wooyoung were the last ones to leave. At 2.”
You felt caught and nervous, but at the same time you didn’t get why he was questioning you like this. It almost felt like a parent trying to uncover their teenager’s lies. “I was with a friend after.”
“You’re out late a lot these days.”
You frowned at him, but then your attention got momentarily taken by your phone screen lighting up with a message. When you unlocked it, you found a message from Yunho.
you forgot something ;)
And then there was a picture. Of your panties.
You immediately locked the phone again and laid it onto the table. With the screen down, just to be safe.
“Yeah,” you finally replied, hoping the heat in your cheeks didn’t show, “I guess I am.” And then in an attempt to lighten the mood you added with a light chuckle, “Are you my dad now? Or just jealous?”
To your surprise the question got him spluttering. “What are you saying? I have a girlfriend.”
“I know.”
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“Did Yunho get you home safely?” Mingi asked, casually putting his arm around your shoulder. You startled, having been so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed him approaching you. Your mind had been full with trying to figure out if your next class was canceled, since the room was locked and no one was waiting outside either (and maybe there were also other things occupying your brain, like a guy with sweet brown eyes—).
“Yeah, sure, he did,” you replied as you shook off Mingi's arm and turned around to him. The words were already out when you spotted Hongjoong standing behind him and looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read.
“Yunho? Didn’t you say you were with a friend?”
You swallowed around the lump in your throat. “Well, he is a friend, right?”
“Yeah,” Hongjoong replied with a little frown, “mine.”
You forced out a little laugh, your eyes briefly darting over to Mingi who watched the situation in helpless confusion. “Are you suddenly gatekeeping your friends now?” 
“No, but—why didn’t you tell me you were with him?”
“I don’t know,” you didn’t meet his gaze, “maybe I knew you were going to be weird about it.”
“Isn’t it weirder that you were keeping it a secret? Are you dating him or something?”
“No!” you replied, maybe a little bit too quickly.
“We just walked a bit,” Yunho interrupted, seemingly having overhead you. His voice was calm and he acted as if he just casually joined the conversation, but you noticed the subtle tension in his jaw. “The weather was nice and we got lost in conversation, so it just took us a little longer to get home. There’s nothing more to it.”
You knew he was saying this for you, and you knew you had just claimed the exact same thing, but somehow it still hurt. Maybe you didn’t want there to be nothing. 
“So, anyway,” Mingi broke the tension, “who’s joining for lunch?”
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You thought you should probably end the arrangement with Yunho. The constant lying made you feel anxious and it put a strain on your friendship with Hongjoong. It was never supposed to become such a big thing anyway. But when Yunho sent you a text, asking if you were coming to his place after class, you found yourself inclined to say yes. Maybe he’d been right, maybe you really couldn’t get enough of him.
So, you went to meet him at the gate after classes, lost in daydreams as you waited.
“Y/n,” Hongjoong’s voice suddenly pulled you out of your thoughts, “are you done for today too? I can give you a ride.” He nodded over to his car waiting in the parking lot. 
“Uh, I—,” you started, trying to come up with a plausible excuse.
“She actually has business with me,” Yunho interrupted, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders from behind.
“Business?” Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, “What kinda business could you have?”
Yunho smiled sweetly. “She forgot something the other day. Right?”
You felt your cheeks flush with heat, reminded of the picture of your underwear that he’d sent you. “R-right.”
“So, let’s go?” Yunho asked, already walking on ahead to where he’d parked his bike. You stood there for a moment longer, your eyes flickering between him and Hongjoong.
“I’ll see you at home?” you finally pressed out, making it sound more like a question, before you jogged over to catch up with Yunho.
“Yeah, sure.” 
As soon as you reached him, you boxed him in the shoulder. “What the fuck are you doing?!” you hissed. 
“Making him jealous?”
“Are you sure it’s not you who’s jealous? He has a girlfriend.”
“And yet he’s still looking this way,” Yunho said with a shrug, so convinced to be right that he didn’t even bother turning around to check. You did, though, and sure enough Hongjoong was still standing right there, following you with his eyes. When you met his gaze, he lifted his hand in an awkward wave and then turned to leave. You thought you should be happy, but somehow, you weren’t.
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Are you sure it’s not you who’s jealous? Yunho almost wanted to laugh. If only you knew how right you were about that. It was pathetic, really, acting all possessive under the guise that he was helping you out, when really he just wanted you to himself. There’d been something like worry washing over him when he’d seen you speaking with Hongjoong. Of course you were right, he had a girlfriend, but Yunho saw the way Hongjoong was looking at you and he wasn’t oblivious to the way he’d been looking at him either ever since you’d started spending time with him. It seemed like a matter of time until Hongjoong would do something about it, about you, and Yunho didn’t think he’d stand a chance if it came down to it. No matter how much time you spent in his bed, having your body wasn’t the same as having your heart. He wished he could have both.
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Yunho kissed you the second you were back in his apartment, big hands pulling your hips flush against his while his lips devoured yours. 
“Not even offering a drink beforehand, huh?” You said with a chuckle when you briefly separated.
He raised an eyebrow, returning your grin. “Did you want anything? Coffee? Water? Tea?”
“No, no, don’t mind me,” you mumbled, already reattaching your lips to him, “this is fine actually.”
You felt him smile into the kiss and then his hands wandered further down, just below your butt, and then he was suddenly picking you up, your legs almost automatically wrapping around his torso.
“What are you doing?” you giggled, not actually trying to get down.
“Delivery,” he replied with a shrug and carried you to his bedroom where he let you flop onto the mattress like a potato sack and then followed behind, hovering over you. In an instant you were back to kissing, while your impatient hands tugged on your clothes, discarding them somewhere just to get them out of the way. He kissed down your neck, grazing the skin with his teeth.
“No, don’t,” you breathed, your voice not very convincing with how airy it was, “the guys will see.”
“Mhm,” he hummed into your skin. “That’s true.” He moved down until he was positioned between your legs, hiking one of it over his shoulder before he lightly nibbled on the skin of your inner thigh. “But here is fine, right? If it’s here no one will see. No one but me.”
He bit down a little harder, making you whine in response. “Yeah, there's fine,” you gasped out, quickly losing your composure when he brought up one of his hands to your most sensitive parts while his lips kept sucking kisses into your skin. “There’s good.”
Yunho’s thumb found your clit, rubbing it in slow circles that drove you insane, not enough friction to make you come but too much to leave you indifferent. “Please,” you mumbled under your breath, not even sure what exactly you were asking for.
“Please?” Yunho repeated, momentarily halting his movements, "Please stop?" You immediately let out a whine, making him chuckle.
“No, no, please,” you shook your head, “more.”
“More, hm?” There was a devilish gleam in his eyes. “Like this?” Without further warning he attached his lips to your core, licking and sucking on your sensitive folds while his thumb picked up the pace on your clit. All you could do was buck your hips and cling to the bed sheets as he devoured you, that familiar knot building up in your guts all too quickly. He let you have it, your high washing over you like a wave as he kept eating you out, only stopping when your hands started to physically push him away, unable to take the overstimulation.
“Didn’t you say you wanted more?” He asked when he finally let up, “I’m just trying to grant your wishes.” He kept eye contact as he poked out his tongue, slowly drawing closer to your core again. It almost had the energy of a cat pushing a vase off the table, his movement so, so slow while his innocent gaze was fixed on you.
“No, no,” you whimpered, hands still buried in his hair, “I can’t. Too much.”
“No?” Yunho repeated and it almost looked like he was pouting. He stilled though, not drawing any closer until you gave the go. His face was still close enough to your core for his breath to send shivers through your body, and you involuntarily bucked your hips in search of friction.
“Heh,” he grinned mischievously, “I thought it’s too much?”
“No, I don’t know,” you bucked your hips again, unable to choose between feeling too sensitive and wanting more.
“You don’t know? But I can’t decide for you.” There were those doe eyes again and it was so clearly what he wanted you to say and he thought you would say, but he still needed the words to be put out there.
“Okay,” you pressed out.
“Okay?”
Your face was burning hot with embarrassment. “More.”
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You thought you should probably take a shower, your skin once again sweaty as you laid in Yunho’s bed a little later, but you couldn’t be bothered to move. You felt exhausted and tired and it was comfortable to lay next to him, your head resting on his outstretched arm, despite the heat. Yunho’s hand lazily plaid with your hair, his eyes fixed to the ceiling. You watched his profile, his full lashes and warm eyes and soft lips. Eventually he turned his head, slowly, to look at you. 
“You’re staring,” he whispered.
“Sorry.”
“No. I don’t mind.”
You hummed, neither of you looking away.  
“Are you going to leave?” He asked after a while. It was night already and you knew it was high time to go home. But if you were being honest you didn’t want to. It felt too embarrassing to put it out there, though. “Should I?” you mumbled instead.
He smiled. “If you’re asking me if you can stay, you can.”
You averted your gaze. “I’ll stay then.”
Yunho pulled you a little closer, pressing a brief kiss to the crown of your head. “Okay.”
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“You wanted to talk?” Yunho asked, as he plopped down in the sand next to Hongjoong.
“Yeah,” he nodded, staring out at the water instead of meeting Yunho’s gaze. “I’ve broken up with my girlfriend.”
“Oh, that sucks. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. It was high time. We both weren’t happy. And there’s also—” he didn’t finish his sentence, but Yunho knew what he was going to say without putting it out there. You.
“So why are you telling me?”
“I know there’s something going on between the two of you. I’m not going to ask for details and I doubt you would tell me anyway. But just answer me this: Are you dating y/n?”
Yes, he wanted to say. Yes, because it would stop Hongjoong from making a move. Yes, because he wanted it to be true. But it wasn’t.
“No.”
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“Have you seen my phone?” You asked a few days later, scurrying through the flat, confused about where you’d left it and in a hurry to get to morning classes. 
“No,” Hongjoong shook his head, watching from the kitchen door frame as you patted down the pockets of your jackets hanging on the coat hooks in the hallway.
“Weird,” you mumbled, “I thought I still had it when I—right, breakfast,” you pushed past him into the kitchen. Your phone laid in plain sight on the table. You turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “You haven’t seen it, huh?”
“Sorry, I guess I didn’t pay attention.” He bites his lower lip, but you barely paid attention, distracted by the missed call from Yeosang, just a few minutes ago. He didn’t usually call you, after all you were living together, what reason was there to call? Maybe he forgot something at home that he needed for classes?
“Actually—Can we talk?” Hongjoong asked. It sounded reluctant, and maybe if you’d looked up from your phone you would have seen the way chewed on his lower lip, the way it seemed to cost him courage to speak up. You didn’t look up though, your eyes still fixed on your phone screen when you said “Sure.”
There was a small pause, before he continued, “We broke up.”
You clicked on your phone’s call history. There was Yeosang, of course, but then there was another one, right below, an hour ago: a declined call from Yunho. A weird feeling settled in your guts, because Yunho too never called, especially not that early in the morning. And because you knew you didn’t decline that call yourself.
“Are you listening?” Hongjoong asked and you finally looked up at him then. He looked different, unfamiliar.
Your phone vibrated with a text from Yeosang.
yunho got beaten up
i thought you should know
You felt panic rise in your guts until it was crushing your rib cage and clogging up your throat. “I need to leave,” you pressed out, rushing to leave but Hongjoong held onto your wrist.
“It’s Yunho isn’t it?” 
“Yes.”
“I knew it,” he let out a bitter huff, “There’s something between you, isn’t there? Are you in love with him?”
You didn’t bother arguing; there was no time for that and maybe you didn’t think he was wrong. With your free hand you grabbed his, pulling it away from your wrist. “I have to go. Now.” He didn’t try to hold on, nor did he say anything else when you slipped in your shoes and rushed out of the flat.
You called Yeosang on your way down the stairs, not bothering with greetings when he picked up.
“Where is he? Is he okay?”
“He’s home,” Yeosang replied and the calmness of his voice made you feel a little more at ease. “He’s mostly okay. I left the backdoor open.”
“What about the guys who did it?”
“Don’t worry. It’s being settled for good.”
You didn’t know exactly what it meant, but you decided that was something to think about later. For now all that mattered was that Yunho was safe.
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Yeosang had left a while ago after helping him tend to his bruises, even though Yunho had assured him he was fine by himself. Yunho knew he’d also called up Mingi to settle things once and for all. He’d never wanted the guys to be involved, convinced he could somehow solve this by himself and feeling too guilty about making this their problem too. But he also knew it was time to admit that it was pure luck that he hadn’t been hurt any worse until now. Last night too it could have ended really badly, but then there’d been police sirens in the distance and they’d rushed off. Yunho had dragged himself home as best as he could in the early morning hours, collapsing on his doorstep with his head feeling fuzzy and every joint in his body hurting. With shaky hands he pulled out his phone, barely able to recognize the names on screen through his blurry vision, but he still managed to find your contact. The call didn’t go through. Of course not, Yunho thought to himself. Because it was early in the morning and because surely Hongjoong had already confessed to you and you had better things to do now than to deal with your fuck buddy and his problems. It was silly of him to call you in the first place. You weren’t dating. But he felt lonely and in pain and all he could think was that he wanted to see you and hear you say that things were going to be okay. But you weren’t going to come, so he called Yeosang instead.
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You didn’t bother trying to ring the doorbell and instead rushed straight to the back door. You found him sitting on the bathroom floor, battered and bleeding and yet still better off than you’d feared. He visibly flinched when you pushed the door open, but then he saw it was you and the tension in his shoulders dropped.
“Y/n,” his voice sounded hoarse.
You knelt down in front of him, carefully cupping his jaw. His cheekbone was bruised badly and his lower lip was bleeding, but he was looking at you with his brown doe eyes and you knew he was okay. He lifted his bandaged hands to wrap them around yours, and you noticed that they were shaking.
“I’m sorry I didn’t pick up,” you whispered. “But I’m here now. It’s okay.”
“I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why did you?”
You frowned, “Because you’re hurt.”
“But you—you don’t have to do this out of pity.”
“It’s not pity, silly.” You leaned your forehead against his and closed your eyes. “Don’t you know that?”
“No,” he whispered, “I don’t know. So tell me.”
“I love you. I’m in love with you.” You brushed your lips against his, causing him to wince in pain, but when you pulled away he chased your lips, pulling you into a kiss. It tasted a bit like iron, but it also tasted like summer and comfort and love.
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no ateez masterlist (yet) but you can check out my other writing here or leave a follow if you don't want to miss future fics
pls consider reblogging if you enjoyed this~
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dollfacefantasy · 8 months
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okayokay so i was hoping you could write something for leon x chubby!reader? i swear there is not enough of that genre out there- i was thinking the reader could be feeling insecure about their weight and leon comes home to them upset on the couch :(( after some comforting and fluffy stuff he CARRIES reader to the bedroom. (as a chubby girl i fold for anyone who can carry me lol) any leon would work for this hes so precious i just wanna keep him safe and sound in my pocket ☹️🫶 anyways i tried to keep this broad enough for you to use your imagination,, i love you writing!! <3
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pairing: leon kennedy x fem!chubby!reader
summary: you're feeling down about yourself and leon just can't have that
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), face sitting, features reader's weight insecurities and people being critical of her weight
word count: 3.6k
a/n: thanks for the request! i hope it was what you were looking for :) reblogs and comments are appreciated <3
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You didn’t expect today to be a good day, but now, in your position curled up and wallowing on the couch, you wish your intuition had been wrong. You lie on the plush cushions, face pressed against a pillow, limbs retracted and held close to your body. You weren’t crying, but it felt like every couple minutes your eyes began to sting with the threat of tears falling. You tried telling yourself to get a grip, to grow up and just move on. This shouldn’t still hurt you so much.
But, like always, beating yourself up didn’t do anything to improve your emotional state. You continue half-paying attention to the movie you put on. It was your comfort movie, one that you put on whenever you were down. Right now though, it wasn’t helping. Your partially unfocused eyes fixate on the screen and watch the lead actress move about. She looks good constantly, her outfits flatter her figure and flaunt her features. All you’re left thinking is why can’t I look like that?
The story playing out in front of you has a bitter taste this time and only serves to remind you of all the words you heard today. Whenever you were around your family for extended periods of time, the conversation moved in this direction. One moment you’d be laughing over a funny story or reminiscing about the past, and then the next, you were being recommended diets or invited to come to the gym in what was your relatives' version of subtlety. And no matter how many times it happened, it still hurt like it was the first.
Sometimes, Leon could spare you from it. When he came around, all the attention would be on him, a newcomer who they didn’t know so much about. But on days like today, when you had to endure their company on your own, it was bound to happen.
Leon didn’t even know he was protecting you with his mere presence. You’d never told him about the passive aggressive remarks or the whispers across the room. He had enough problems of his own to deal with. You didn’t want to pile on by weeping to him, sounding like some shitty after school special. So instead, you resigned yourself to this, sinking into your self-pity until you were distracted enough to forget about it until next time.
Not much more of your movie plays before you hear the familiar sound of Leon’s keys outside the door. He comes in, offering you a small smile as he takes his jacket off and kicks his boots aside. You straighten up a little bit but not too much. Normally, you’d try to conceal all of this from him, but you were just too worn down today.
He’d been out dealing with some last minute things for work before he got a little time off for a couple weeks. He walks behind the couch to the kitchen, taking a moment to ruffle your hair as he goes by.
“How’s your day going? You had to go to that thing with your family right? Everything went well?” he asks from the kitchen.
“Yeah. It was fine,” you respond simply, “How’s yours? Get everything done?”
“Mhm,” he hums. You couldn’t see him, but he was watching you. He could tell something was up. He takes a few swigs of his drink before heading to the couch and sitting down with you. Glancing over at you a few times, he observes the way you’re watching the movie. The slight frown on your lips, your uninterested eyes.
“Hey, c’mere,” he says gently, “I missed you today.”
With a gentle tug of your wrist, he guides you across the couch. You slide over on the seats so you’re leaned against his side looking up at him. Like always, you put your head on his chest, his fingers find their way to your head and stroke it lovingly. His other hand makes his way to your side, tenderly squeezing your waist, and in-turn, gripping the plump flesh there. You loved the touch, but right now, it further amplifies your self-consciousness. You’re painfully aware of the shape of your body at this moment.
“You feeling ok?” he asks softly.
You simply nod in response, but it’s like he can see the gears turning in your head, cranking out one bad thought after the next.
“C’mon, tell me what’s wrong, pretty girl,” he coos, dragging his thumb over your cheek.
He called you that a fair amount, but in your current state, it just grated on your already frayed nerve endings. You swallow around the lump forming in your throat. “Nothing’s wrong,” you reply.
Your answer doesn’t satisfy him though. He’s not convinced. Any other day you’d talk his ear off about how you couldn’t believe someone did this or how there was no way another said that. You’d be all over him too. It seemed like you could never get enough of kissing his face or nuzzling his neck. But today you were quiet. Quiet and stiff.
“I know it’s something, baby. You can tell me. There’s nothing in this world I’d judge you for,” he murmurs before kissing your forehead.
You really wanna tell him. It shouldn’t be hard. The rational part of your brain knew all he’d do was make you feel better. Give you some smooches, whisper compliments against your skin as his hands rub you all over. The other part of you though, the irrational, scared girl hidden inside, kept you anxious. She kept you believing that this was something you had to bear alone. Even the fact that you were insecure in the first place was embarrassing.
In a move that made you feel overwhelmingly pathetic, you just shake your head. You push your face against his chest and remain silent. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat helps a little to calm you, but you still can’t force the words out.
He only grows more concerned as you shy away. He thought you just didn’t feel good, maybe a little gloomy, maybe had a headache. But this was clearly something deeper. His arms tighten around you, rubbing your back.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” he asks, “Talk to me. Breaks my heart seeing you sad.”
You can’t even stop the hot tears from sliding down your cheeks at this point. Sucking in a harsh breath, you cling to him. He sees you’re crying even though you’re quiet. He whispers a few more reassurances, trying to coax you into sharing what’s the matter.
“It’s just… do you… are you… are you attracted to me?” you choke out. Even the way you phrase it makes you wanna curl up and die.
He’s stunned. Honestly, that’s the last question he expected to hear between your soft gasps.
“What? Of course I am,” he says without a second thought.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to lie to me. I can take it,” you sob, keeping your face shielded against the muscles beneath his shirt.
“Yes I’m sure. Hey, hey,” he says. His tone drips with worry as he guides your face to look up at him, “Where’s this coming from, baby? Did I say something that made you think that?”
“N-no,” you cry, tears wetting his shirt by this point, “I- it’s just… I don’t…”
“Take a deep breath. It’s ok,” he whispers, “I just wanna know why you would be worried about that, babe?”
You follow his advice and get yourself calm enough that you can speak, but again, you can’t actually get the syllables out without losing it.
“Cause just look at me,” you weep and gesture at your figure.
“I am looking at you,” he says, still not understanding the issue.
“You’re telling me this is what you want?” you cry. You say it almost like an accusation. Like the word liar is on the tip of your tongue.
“Yes? I can’t help if you don’t tell me what the problem is, and I’m really not seeing a problem,” he says. He’s such a sweetheart. Doesn’t get defensive with you, doesn’t tell you to cool it. He’s understanding as ever, and it just makes you feel worse about your blow up.
“You really like me even though I’m chubby?” you finally blurt out.
His eyes soften when the words reach his ears. 
“Oh, baby…” he coos and pulls you onto his lap. It makes you uncomfortable at first, being on top of him, but he doesn’t even react to your weight on his thighs. “I love your body, every single part of it. You never need to worry about that.”
After that, everything comes spilling out. Every derogatory comment, every side eye, every single condescending smile. You ramble on about all of it through your tears. He nods along and shakes his head in disapproval when you tell him about your cousin’s birthday party when someone asked if you really needed a slice of cake. Or Christmas when your aunt cornered you to sell you on these diet shots her doctor prescribed her and how she could get you some easily.
“I never want you worrying about that kind of shit,” he tells you once it seems like your rant has come to a conclusion.
You sniffle and nod, burrowing into him further.
“I mean it. Cause for one, you're more than that. You’re sweet, so fucking sweet. You’re smart, funny. You’re you, and that’s what I love. I love talking to you, can’t get enough of your voice,” he murmurs as he kisses your cheeks and temple, “I notice all that before I’d ever notice whatever bullshit they tell you to feel bad about.”
“I know,” you whimper. Before you can say anything else, he keeps going.
“And you asked me if I’m attracted to you? That’s an easy answer, babe,” he says. He lifts you a little, shifting you on his lap so you’re straddling him. His hands squeeze your hips and rub up and down your sides. “You don’t understand how attracted to you I am. I cum harder jerking off while I think of you than I ever did fucking anyone else.”
You gaze down at him. Heat rushes through you at that admission. Your crying has come to a halt now as you hang onto each word of his.
“I mean, really honey? What wouldn’t I like?” he purrs, “You seriously believe I wouldn’t love how soft you are? All the curves I feel press up against me when you give me a hug or you wanna cuddle?”
His hands run along your skin with more teasing now.
“Your tummy? Fucking love it. Love how you get all squirmy when I rub and kiss it how you like,” he breathes as he tugs you forward so your front is against his. He kisses your lips softly. “Love feeling those round cheeks covered in tears and drool when you start losing it for me. And your thighs? I can’t get enough of ‘em clamped around my head when I’m eating your pussy. Fucking things squeeze me till I think I’m dreaming.”
Well, didn’t you feel stupid now. As Leon continues preaching about your body like he’s referencing a divine being, his hands roam your body, sending shivers up your spine. His fingers knead the flesh of your ass before coasting around to your tits and taking handfuls of them.
“I can only say so much, dolly. Think you should just let me show you how much I love it,” he breathes against the shell of your ear.
“Ok,” you agree. So simple it draws a small chuckle from his throat.
Without the slightest hesitation, he stands up, taking you with him. He hoists you up and doesn’t even let the smallest grunt slip from between his lips. You let out a tiny squeak which turns his chuckle to a full laugh.
“Leon…” you start with uncertainty.
“Nope. None of that,” he shushes you.
He boosts you up, getting you comfortable in his arms. Your legs lock around his waist just as he starts to move. Padding away from the couch, he takes you to the bedroom. He’s not straining himself at all. He glides through the doorway with you cradled against his abdomen like this was the most natural thing in the world. In all honesty, you weren’t too much for him in the slightest. All the training he did for his government job had prepared him to carry more weight than you.
He sets you down on the bed, crawling on top of you. His lips meet yours as he leans down and connects the two of you in a series of wet kisses. His hands glide beneath the fabric of your shirt, feeling your skin and the warmth of your body. After making out for a while more, he pulls back. He kneels above you, breathing heavily as he peels off his shirt. His toned abs and chest come into view. You’re still taking in the sight of him as he starts undoing his pants. To match him, you slowly begin to remove your own attire.
Soon enough, the both of you are nude. You expect him to get back on top of you and drill you into the bed until you’re seeing stars. But instead, he flops down next to you on the mattress, looking at you with a lopsided smile.
“You want me on top?” you ask as you begin to move yourself into position.
“I do. But not how you’re thinking.”
You pause, trying to figure out what he meant. It clicks in your mind suddenly as you're looking at his smug expression. He wanted you to sit on his face. He’d asked you to once or twice before, but you usually got out of it by playing up your neediness and acting like you needed his cock that very moment or you would explode.
There was no excuse that would spare you from this now though. You look him in the eyes and shake your head. His only response is to playfully nod at you and give your hips a little tug, urging you up his chest.
“Leon…” you whisper nervously. You wanted to, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.
“Don’t give me that,” he teases. His tone transitions to a more genuine one as he says “Let me do this for you.”
You hesitate once more, but another light pull of your hips has you tentatively scooting forward on top of him. You brush by his chest and neck until you’re hovering above his head. He lets out a sigh just from feeling the heat of your thighs on either side of him. His elbows bend around your thighs, keeping you in position. He looks up at you and finds your nervous eyes to give you a comforting look.
“I’m gonna crush you,” you say as if to warn him.
“You better,” he responds.
And that’s all the talking he needs to do before pulling your hips down and mashing your cunt against his mouth. You gasp as you feel his tongue licking you up and down already. He groans when he tastes your slick. Diving in further, his mouth opens and closes as he pleasures you. He sucks on your clit and massages your entrance.
Your arm shoots out to hold onto the headboard for balance. Your hips involuntarily rock back and forth, smearing your arousal over his chin and lips. He keeps you in place for the most part, but he doesn’t restrain your movements. If anything, he devours you with increased fervor.
“That’s right, baby. Ride it,” he mumbles against your folds.
He tightens his grip a bit as he licks broad stripes over your pussy. His nose nudges your swollen bundle of nerves, ripping sharp whimpers from you. You roll your hips into the sensation. He nearly whines while feeling the fluid motion. He keeps lapping at you like it was the task he was born to perform.
Then you feel a thrum on your hip, his fingers tapping. You look down, at first worried he needed you to get off. But looking down, you find his hooded eyes gazing back at you and his index finger gesturing behind you.
You turn to look and see his cock, rock hard, flushed red, leaking a few drops of pre cum onto his abdomen.
“You see how attracted to you I am?” he asks.
You moan loud as he returns to eating you out like it’s his final action. Seeing him so worked up from merely pleasuring you drives you wild and has you gushing all over his chin. You whimper and grind down onto his mouth some more. Your head falls back, your chest heaving and bouncing as you accept the euphoric feeling below. You reach down and tug at his hair. He practically growls and continues to work you to the edge. He pays some special attention to your clit and fucks his tongue into you to finally get you there.
“Be a good girl and cum all over my face,” he commands between licks.
You release with a yelp. Your hips buck as your body spasms. Thighs tremble violently before tensing and pressing against his ears. He smirks against the velvety junction and keeps going through the high.
Once you start to come down, he releases you from his grip and gives you a firm smack on the ass. You slump over and crumple up next to him on the bed. His face is shimmering with your release. His fingers swipe across his chin, collecting your slick that had coated the skin there. He sticks the digits in his mouth and hums in satisfaction as he licks them clean.
“Could eat that pussy for hours, it tastes so fucking sweet,” he says as he starts moving towards you again.
Now, it’s actually time for him to crawl on top of you. He rocks his hips against you as he goes in for more kisses. His cock drags against the smooth skin of your thigh, the sticky tip sliding back and forth. His wet fingers hold your jaw and keep your lips puffed out for him to kiss.
While he kisses you more, he spreads your thighs and slots himself between your folds. He moves himself up and down through the wetness that had gathered.
“Pretty, pretty girl,” he murmurs against your lips, “My gorgeous love doll.”
Teasing himself and you by gliding his tip over you a few more times, he then moves it down against your hole and enters you fully. He moans, his breath hitching as he sinks into your warm, wet embrace.
“Good girl. Squeeze around me just like that. So fucking tight,” he grunts.
He takes a moment to just feel you. Feel your walls pulsing around him. Feel your heated, squishy form against his firm one. But then he starts to move. He slowly works his shaft back. A long drawn out “fuck” leaves his mouth before he whispers a crisp “good god” while pressing back in.
He begins to pump into you with an even pace. He strokes nice and deep, keeping his movements consistent for you. You flutter around him and squirm slightly as he prods at your most sensitive spots. He leans back to look down at the spot where the two of you connect.
He watches his cock slide in and out of you, disappearing into your cunt time and time again. He’s obsessed with how your slick coats his shaft, dripping down to the base. His thumb comes to swipe over your clit quickly and give you some extra sparks of euphoria. You whine and arch your back at the touch.
“I know you have the perfect pussy. Made all for me,” he breathes, grinning as you shiver from the pleasure he inflicts upon you, “So responsive and sensitive just for me.”
You whimper and nod. Your hands claw at his back, digging into the muscles across his shoulders. He keeps slamming into you. His eyes roll back as his release builds. He mutters more praises and collapses on top of you again. He grinds and rolls himself into you rhythmically while you start to cling to him. It becomes harder to keep still as pressure mounts inside you, begging to burst.
“Wanna see my beautiful girl cum for me,” he mumbles while pressing sloppy kisses to your neck.
You pant and nod again. It was impending. All you needed was a few more thrusts. He swivels his hips, angling himself and swiping across more spots that drive you wild. It’s just a few moments later when your body seizes again and you let go with a loud cry. He can’t hold it either as he starts to shoot ropes of cum in you. You’re both shuddering, faces tense with absolute pleasure. He’s softly whimpering in your ear while your nails make deeper crescents on his shoulder blades.
He continues bucking into you, fucking his cum deeper. It’s almost like he can’t stop. It just feels too good. He can’t pull himself away even though the high is over and he’s already started to tumble down. You’re so blissed out that you don’t even complain of overstimulation, just let him go the few extra moments till he’s satisfied.
Once he is sated, he doesn’t pull out. He just stops moving his hips. His arms tighten around you, and he nestles his face in the crook of your neck where he can take in your scent with every breath.
“See what you do to me, baby?” he pants, “Wouldn’t change a thing about you. My girl, think you’ve ruined me for anyone else.”
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sassycheesecake · 9 months
Text
Osamu walks out of Physics class, happy that his classes are over and all that is left is volleyball practice.
He walks down the familiar path towards his twin brother’s class, basically collecting him on the way to the gym hall.
When he gets closer, he hears multiple sounds of something banging against the lockers and when he gets closer to the noise, he squints his eyes before they widen in shock at the sight of Atsumu Miya, second-year high school Setter of the Inarizaki volleyball club banging his forehead constantly against his locker door.
Now, he has two options.
One, move along and pretend he didn’t see any of this and make it to practice on time without his brother. But the big downside is that Atsumu would probably be late for practice if Osamu doesn’t say anything to him, which will end up in Osamu getting an earful from their mother later on at home.
Or option number two, ask what Atsumu’s deal is and hopefully they both still make it on time for practice.
Since Osamu doesn’t want to get yelled at later on by their mother, he begrudgingly chooses option two.
"Tsumu, if ya keep smashin' yer head against the locker, yer gonna lose the two braincells ya have left." Osamu says when he walks closer to his brother.
For a split second, Atsumu looks at his brother through his peripheral vision with a pissed look and then continues to bang his head against the locker.
'Wow, not even a comeback.' Osamu thinks while he continues to watch him.
"Stop it." Osamu barks as he is getting annoyed by the noise.
"'M tryin' ta forget bout earlier. Ya remember (Y/N)?" Atsumu stops and just leans his forehead against his locker door, a sorrow expression rests on his face.
Osamu frowns in confusion and looks to the ceiling for a second before returning his gaze back to his twin.
"Ya mean (Y/L/N) (Y/F/N)? The one that shared her lunch with ya and ya sweared ya tasted heaven?" Osamu raises a brow.
"Yes." Atsumu confirms.
"What about her?" Osamu doesn’t get it, if Atsumu looks so miserable, surely something devastating must have happened.
"I wanted ta confess my feelings ta her, so I made her favorite dessert and when I went ta see her, yannow what I saw?"
"What?" Osamu sighs.
"She was talkin' ta Riseki!"
"Is she suddenly not allowed ta talk ta other people besides ya? Tsumu I don’t know if yer brain registered it yet but this is a high school. There’s more people than ya she can talk to. And so what if Riseki was talkin' ta her? What’s the big deal?!" Osamu is getting impatient since he doesn’t understand Atsumu‘s point of view.
"That’s not the point dipshit! Riseki asked her out and she said no because she said she is in love with another guy." Atsumu almost wails.
"And?… Does your story have an ending or is this it?"
"Be patient asshole, I was gettin' there. So after I heard that, I was devastated….an' I didn’t realize (Y/N) came outta the room seconds afterwards an' I was so mad that I squished the dessert outta anger. She was confused an' asked if I was alright and I replied 'Shouldn’t ya ask yer crush?' and then I just left!" The Setter explains and gets angrier by the second, talking to his long-time crush in such a tone was just childish and rude as hell. You didn’t deserve that at all but Atsumu just felt his heart shatter at that moment, so he was angry and let it out on you. Now he is just highly disappointed in himself on how disrespectfully he talked to you.
On the inside, Osamu facepalms himself at the sheer stupidity of his brother‘s unawareness of your affection towards the blonde.
The signs are all there that you like Atsumu and vice versa but of course something complicated like the shit Atsumu pulled just pulled moments prior ruined his chance of confessing his feelings towards you.
"Well, (Y/N) finally talked ta ya. That’s sorta awesome."
"No Samu! Not 'awesome'! I ruined ma only chance at talkin' ta (Y/N) and I ruined it. RUINED IT!" Atsumu slams his head against the locker and the whole locker clutters by the force of it.
Osamu can’t help but feel bad for his brother, knowing Atsumu has been having a crush on you since the first year of high school.
Students who pass them are giving them weird looks but the gray-haired twin is not fazed by it.
"Tsumu, yer startin' ta get looks. Quit yer dramatic act and move alon'. There’s pleny of fish in da sea."
The Setter was quiet for a few seconds and Osamu was quite worried Atsumu got a concussion from all that banging of his forehead against the locker.
But then he speaks again, in a voice so sad and soft, it sounds like Atsumu is truly heartbroken.
"But I don’ wan' other fish. I want (Y/N)." He is actually getting teary-eyed.
Osamu gives out a big annoyed sigh and knows he is already regretting his words.
"Want me ta help ya win (Y/N) over?"
Atsumu whips his head in his brother’s direction, a hopeful gleam in his hazel-brown eyes.
"Yer not screwin' with me?"
"No. Twin promise, cross my heart and all that shit. Come on, let’s find (Y/N)." Osamu starts to move to the gym for volleyball practice and he hears a locker door shut and a rushing steps of feet follow him.
A/N: You guys want a part 2?😊
Here’s part 2
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lovelytsunoda · 11 months
Text
954 // logan sargeant
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summary: florida man fucks shy college girl. or, back home in fort lauderdale y/n’s welcome home party is sabotaged by her race winner brother, and it gives her a bit of a complex. at least her brothers best friend is there to make her feel better about it.
pairing: logan sargeant x female kirkwood! reader
warnings: straight up smut, kyle kirkwood is a lot to handle in large doses (but we love him anyways), feelings of anxiety, minor sibling rivalry, body image issues. i am going to hell, littered with spelling mistakes because of how fast I was typing and pure laziness to go back and fix it
author's note: 954 is the area code for fort lauderdale. and technically kyle kirkwood lives in jupiter, but for the sake of the story let's pretend he's also from lauderdale.
she sat at the edge of the pier, jeans rolled up past her shins as she started off into the horizon, watching the sun dip below the ocean line.
“it’s your party, what are you doing out here alone?”
she rolled her eyes, pulling her feet out of the water before following the voice. “why do you think? kyle hijacked it. I’m back home for less than a day and he’s already stealing the spotlight again.”
that was the way it always went in the kirkwood household: y/n came home from school, and everything was great, and then kyle waltzes in and suddenly everything is about him again.
logan shook his head, settling onto the pier next to her, a gentle hand resting on her thigh. she shrugged it off, anxiously twisting one of the rings on her hand.
“you know he doesn’t do it on purpose, right?” logan soothed “he loves you, and he hates that you feel like this.”
“i know. the inferiority complex is all me.”
“it’s not a complex, and your feelings are valid.”
she shook her head. “everyone tells me i shouldn’t have quit karting. even when it made me hate myself.”
she sighed, laying down on the pier, worn wood scratching at her skin, but not splintering against her baby pink tank top. “what am I doing with my life, logan?”
“hey, look at me.” logan encouraged, fingertips against her chin to angle her face towards him. “you are doing great things. deans list every semester, you’re a great artist and I’d be shocked if firms weren’t lining up to hire you as a litigator.”
“you’re just saying that.” she refused to meet his eyes. logan was kyles best friend, for god sakes. she’d crumble under his stare, his touch.
“but I’m not.” logan insisted, gripping her face now, making her look at him. she needed to know how wonderful she was, and he was going to be the one to tel her. “you are smart and funny and all kinds of wonderful, kirkwood. any guy would be lucky to have you, and anyone else should consider themselves blessed to have you as a friend.”
“you really mean that?”
“why would I lie to you, y/n?”
she barely had time to respond before logans lips were on hers. she was hesitant at first, unsure if logan really knew what he was doing. unsure if he was really kissing her because he wanted to or because he pitied her.
the intrusive thoughts didn’t stay long, however, as she snapped to attention and moved her lips against his, wrapping her body around his.
“jesus.” logan breathed. “those jeans make your ass look incredible. well, your ass always looks incredible, but these jeans are really doing it for me.”
she laughed at how red logan's face was, a shade that looked more salmon under the sunset. the pier was digging into her skin, and she was starting to get uncomfortable, logan's lips along her neck not quite enough to distract from the discomfort of what she was sure would become a splinter if their activities were not relocated.
somehow they made it to her bedroom without being discovered by the partygoers, much less kyle. the fairy lights tacked to her dusty pink walls were the only light in the room as logan backed her up against her bookshelf, securely caging her body against his.
she felt safe in logan's arms. protected.
"i've been crazy about you for years now." logan growled in between kisses. "every night i came over to watch panthers games with your brother, and you were there in those tight little jean shorts, laughing and giggling with your friends. or when i'd stay the night and you'd walk past his bedroom door to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night, your skimpy silk top falling down your shoulder just enough to give me a taste of your gorgeous body. do you know how many times i've jerked off to the thought of you in kyle's bathroom? you're stunning, y/n. don't let anybody tell you otherwise."
her mind was reeling, and she couldn't find the proper words as she tugged at the collar of logan's button down shirt, pressing her lips back to his. logan sargeant was interested in her.
logan saw her for her, not just as kyle kirkwood's baby sister.
clothes were shed, buttons ripped off shirts. her head was spinning, elated and giddy and she couldn't find the words to tell logan how incredible she felt as his large hands squeezed her breasts over the mesh padding of her bralette.
she gasped, logan taking that chance to slip his tongue into her mouth, his fingers grappling for the clasp on her bra.
all at once, reality came crashing back down on her. she pulled away, hands flying up to cover her exposed breasts as the pale fabric tumbled to the hardwood floor.
she wouldn't meet logan's eyes, scared to know what he thought of her naked body. scared to see him stare at her and not know what he was thinking.
his eyes softened, the lust drawing back as concern seeped in to his irises. "y/n, pretty girl, you don't need to hide yourself around me. who made you think that you weren't sexy as all hell? i never want you feel like you have to be shy around me."
he gently gripped her arms, guiding her towards the wall length mirror hanging on the back of the ensuite door. logan stood behind her, lifting her chin so that she would meet his eyes in the mirror. placing his hands over hers, he gently pulled her palms off her breasts, exposing her bare torso to the soft lighting in the room.
"look at you beautiful you are, y/n. i'm serious."
"you're just saying that so you can get your dick wet." even as she said it, she knew it didn't sound like she meant it.
but even still, staring at herself in the mirror, all she could focus on was the way that she looked: the stretch marks on her breasts, the smattering of freckles up her arms (or were they moles, like the two on her back?).
"what will it take to show you how sexy you are, y/n?" logan rasped, undoing the button on her jeans. "should i make you watch yourself as i touch you?"
"yeah." her voice was shaky. "i think you should show me how sexy i am. clearly, i need reminding." where was this sudden boldness coming from?
"that;s my sexy, shy girl." logan cooed, tugging her jeans down her legs, kissing over her ass and down her leg before coming back up, eyes hungry at the sight of the young woman in front of him, panties hiked high on her hips and fairly see through as he slipped a hand over teh fabric and between her legs, teasing at the dampness beginning to form.
she gasped as logan slicked up his fingers, slipping them inside of her in one swift movement, working around the fabric of her cheeky panties. she was breathing hard, biting her bottom lip as she took in the sight in the mirror: logan's fingers flexing in and out of her, arousal running over his pale skin, his face contorted in concentration as he growled down her ear, telling her how tight she felt, and how good she was for him.
her own skin was rosy and flushed, a sheen of sweat beginning ro form as she felt her body heating up. there was something sinful about watching herself in the mirror, finally allowing herself to let loose a moan.
"that's my girl. don't get shy on me now, i want to know that you feel as good as i do." logan groaned, sucking on her neck. "touch me, baby. i know you want to. feel how fucking hard i am for you."
she loosened her grip on logan's wrist, internally grinning at the nail marks that she left behind in his skin before slipping an arm behind her, cupping his bulge in her hand.
she was floored. she knew logan was big (she could always see the outline in his swim shorts, forcing herself to stop staring before he noticed) but knowing that she had this effect on him?
it was a powerful thing.
"jesus, logan." she whined. "i need it inside of me."
logan's eyes sparkled. "what do you need inside of you, sweetheart? i need you to say it for me." he started pumping his fingers faster, his other hand moving to fondle her left breast, tweaking the rosy bud of her nipple between his fingers.
she sighed heavily, feeling her legs turn mushy as she leaned back against logan. "need your cock." she mumbled, unsure if she could speak any louder.
"what was that, darling? don't be shy now, i can't give you what you need if you don't tell me, love."
fuck you, she thought, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood. she was clenching around his fingers now, unsure of hoe much longer she'd be able to last. but she needed him inside of her, felt like she might die if he wasn't.
"your cock!" she shouted. "please, logan, i need your big cock inside me, please, god, i need it."
why did she say that? she should never have said that. it made her sound desperate. but in a way, she was desperate, wasn't she?
logans fingers stopped their ministrations, pulling out of her and taking a trail of her juices with them. she thought her eyes were going to roll back in her head before logan laid her down on her queen bed, her hair fanning out behind her as he started to undo his jeans, resort shirt still hanging off his frame, face flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat as he licked her arousal off his fingers.
"do you have condoms, kirkwood? because i really don't want to have to go digging for them in kyle's room."
"please don't talk about my brother when i want you to fuck my brains out."
logan smirked. "not so shy now, are we, my sexy girl."
"shut up! go the ensuite, top vanity drawer on the left. you literally cannot miss the box."
she could have laughed, lying back on the bed and kicking off her panties as logan ran, half naked and dropping his resort shirt behind him, to the ensuite.
he stumbled back, tripping over discarded clothes and the fluffy carpet, triumphantly holding the box above his head.
"the whole box? how much do you think you're getting tonight, sarge?"
logan raised an eyebrow. "call me that, and i'm going to make you forget how shy you are and have you scream my name all night long."
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queersolarfandompage · 9 months
Text
Hilson Masterlist:
A bunch of fics I’ve read in the last month, month and a half. All works are completed and over 9,000 words per fic.
My Love’s an Arbutus - Rated G
House gets a soulmate, WIlson gets Hanahaki. It ends suprisingly well for both of them.
Handle with Care - Rated G
This is the story of how James Wilson ended up on his best friends doorstep with a baby in a carseat he’d stolen from the maternity ward, and the chaos that followed.
A Thousand Teeth (And Yours Amoung Them) - Rated T
Sometimes, when House gets too overwhelmed by his emotions, he gets a little bitey. This is five times House bites Wilson, and one time Wilson finally bites him back.
Systemic - Rated T
Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis.
Touch Therapy - Rated T
It’s not that House needs the human contact. It’s just that when you’re sharing an apartment, these things happen sometimes.
I Never Sleep With Married Men - Rated T
House and Wilson are married. It’s not what you think.
Double or Nothing - Rated T
House kisses Wilson’s cheek as part of an ‘act’, it feels too natural to him, so, of course, he has to turn it all into a game, Wilson catches up pretty quickly. The duckings try to not get scarred for life.
The Line of Thought - Rated T
Cameron, Foreman, and Chase keep on trying to get into the little details of House’s love life. House doesn’t like that one bit.
In the Eye of the Storm - Rated T
House does not want Wilson to invite his subordinates over for dinner, and he definitely doesn’t want them to be stuck there due to an unexpected snowstorm. But could the two of them find what they need?
Drew Stars Around my Scars - Rated T
James Wilson loves Gregory House in secret, but perhaps he is closer to knowing than he realizes.
Oreos, a Cane, and a Hell of a Lot of Diapers - Rated T
Hilson AU in which House and Wilson are waiting for the birth of their two babies. Watch them survive their first few weeks of parenthood along with the struggles it takes to be a parent.
Impossible - Rated T
“Wilson, hey-“
“…This is James Wilson. I can’t get to the phone right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
Oh.
There was a long, sustained tone, and House cleared his throat.
“Wilson. I’m sorry for what I said to you in January. It was over the line, and I shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. I know you don’t want to talk to me, and… I’ll respect that. I just wanted you to know that I’m…”
He looked down at the flowers.
“I’m sorry.”
House and Wilson both have Hanahaki Disease, and would rather die than give up their feelings.
No Need to Worry (Making Up Your Mind) - Rated T
House makes the mistake of telling his mother he can’t join her for Christmas because of his new boyfriend. Somehow, this becomes Wilson’s problem.
Something to Prove Series - Rated T
Something to Prove
When House suddenly want to initiate a relationship with Wilson, Wilson is overjoyed. The feelings he’d held for years are finally mutual. Or are they?
Marathons
House and Wilson decide to let the other people in their lives in on the fact that they’re dating. But no, they can’t just sit them down and tell them. Of course not. That would be too boring.
After School - Rated T
Gregory House is incredibly bored with his life when James Wilson is hired to teach Anatomy & Physiology alongside him at Princeton Plainsboro High School. Though he wants to maintain that same monotony he’s grown comfortable with, House quickly finds out that one school year can change a lot.
Life’s Harsh and Sweet Lessons - Rated T
House and Wilson find out that a simple act of kindness can turn into something so much more for all involved. (I love this fic so much. They’re just gay dog dads.)
Losing Balance - Rated T
There’s a new case for House, in which Wilson gets stuck by chance. The relationship between the patiend and his best friend brings up new issues House and Wilson have to deal with. While the first simply chooses to ignore them, the second is forced to face the changes in their friendship and the influence that the people around them have on it.
Gaseous Nebula - Rated T
After a hard day at work, House and Wilson intend to spend their evening watching the Princeton Philharmonic Orchestra. Instead, the building collapses, leaving on of them trapped in peril and the other desperate for answeres. The chaos drives them to revelations about themselves and each other, but it may be too late.
Ship of Fools - Rated M
The Captain’s a tyrant and possibly a madman, but when the crew rebels it’s Wilson who gets caught in the crossfire.
Bait and Switch - Rated M
Wilson tricks House into participating in a bachelor auction to benefit the hospital.
Fool’s Gold - Rated M
Don’t threaten what isn’t yours. (Dragon AU)
Old Machines - Rated M
Wilson said, “So we’re just two friends who want to have sex with each other, who aren’t going to do anything about it.”
Spoken with the increduility of a beautiful person with low impulse control. House shrugged.
“We’ve been that for years. Why mess with success?”
Wilson was looking at his mouth. He sounded strained. “I don’t think what we’re doing qualifies as success.”
Not as Easy as it Looks on TV - Rated M
House and Wilson share an intimate moment. the likes of which Wilson had never seen before in their three year relationship. It drives Wilson to realize he wants to marry House, but of course it’s never that easy, is it?
That’s How Strong My Love Is - Rated M
For once, Wilson doesn’t fall into a relationship, much to House’s irritataion.
Fresh Feeling - Rated M
House is tricked into going on a team-building trip with his colleagues. He does far more bonding with Wilson than anyone else.
Love Is The Drug - Rated M
What happens when two best friends love each other to the point of hating each other? They try to date and sulk about it.
The More It Took Away - Rated E
House has been hiding this little secret of his for years. Too bad it’s coming back to bite him on the ass.
The Escalated Butt Dial - Rated E
He thinks it must be an accident. Because all he hears is shuffling and soft… clapping? He’s about to hang up and laugh because House butt-dialed him while drunk when he hears it.
A very, very obviously sexual grunt. A moan, if more specific. Whatever. Not whatever. He can’t really breath right now, or think; call back laterr.
He wants to hang up. This is an invasion of privacy. This isn’t okay. House butt-dialed him while masurbating, for fuck’s sake. And it’s not like he wants to listen. Right? So. Just hang up.
The One-Eyed King Takes All - Rated E
The classic crew plays strip poker.
You’re the Only One That Never Gets Old Series - Rated E
You’re the Only One That Never Gets Old
An accidental kiss… and a few taht are not so accidental.
Let’s Take A Breath (Before We Go, Go, Go)
House kisses Wilson to piss off an homophobic patient. It might ahve been his best idea yet.
Keep Me Where the Light Is - Rated E
House has his Earth shattering, (good) knee weakening, life changing revelation about Wilson at such an inopporune time, that he’s tempted to laugh. He would have, if he hadn’t been hands deep in his patient’s organs.
Absinthe - Rated E
Wilson wants a new apartment, House is up to no good, and strange metaphors abound.
Experimental Procedures - Rated E
An offhand comment leads Wilson to test out some unusual methods of pain relief for House. (They’re extremely effective.)
Familiarity (Breeds Contempt) - Rated E
House and Wilson stumble into a relationship, but they run into problems before long.
Around We Go Once More - Rated E
Stuck in a small university town out of the country with Wilson, House is up to day 104, of a ‘grounghog day’ style constatly recurring day scenario. Seeing as the day will repeat, he figures it would be safe to try and seduce Wilson; the one he’s always been attracted to, but never acted on it, for fear it would ‘ruin the friendship.’ This is not as easy as he planned, particularly as Wilson refuses to take him seriously.
Stay With Me - Rated E
House has always depended on Wilson’s friendship, but now he finds himself depending on him for his very life - and Wilson realizes that both mean more to him than he ever realized.
I’ll See You In Court - Rated E
Every year, the council chooses ten alphas to participate in the breeding run — this year Wilson has been chosen. He’ll be forced to bond with whichever omega he knocks up whilst he’s in heat. When House hears, he’s forced to take action. There’s only one way to get pulled from the yearly run, and taht’s to file an intent to bond. And in order to file an intent to bond, you need an omega willing to go through with it.
There’s only a week until Wilson’s heat, but luckily, House knows just the omega for the job.
Things That Go Bump - Rated E
Wilson has nightmares. House gets a headache. Everyone tries to diagnose just what’s going on between them.
If He Spends That Dough (Imma Throw Him a Bone) - Rated E
James Wilson loves to feel needed, so who is hOuse to refuse him?
Money, sex, and love is all you need. In that order.
Howler Tone - Rated E
The calls always happen late at night, and they’re extremely sporadic, with weeks, sometimes months bridging between them. They talk on the phone otherwise, of course; about patients, or dinner plans, or carpooling. Typical stuff. But the calls that always end a certain way always start a certain way.
House develops a new vice. Wilson, as always, enables him.
He Won’t Tell You That He Loves You - Rated E
In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can’t stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug.
A Valuable Friend - Rated E
Wilson has been recieving mysterious late night phone calls. He’s rather House kept his nose out of it - but we all know how well that goes.
Baby Mikey - Rated E
House gets a visitor that will change his life, while Wilson struggles to figure out exactly who he is and where he fits into House’s new life.
Buy Some Time, It’s On My Dime - Rated E
The one where House is a phone sex operator.
You’re So Fuckin’ Special (Run) - Rated E
It was full of pictures.
And all of them are of Wilson.
In Every Lie, In Every Truth That You’d Deny - Rated E
Wilson just needs someone to take care of while he recovers from yet another divorce. That’s all this is.
Ath least, that’s what House thinks.
A Patient’s Guide to Living with ICS - Rated E
House and Wilson share a hotel room at a medical conference.
Hooked (On Feeling Low) - Rated E
There are things even House cannot control.
Can Wilson continue picking up the pieces?
A Modest Proposal - Rated E
Tritter’s case agianst House still depends on subpoenaeded testimony from Wilson. To save House from losing everything, the doctors of PPTH decide on an unusal solution, which in turn leads to unexpected consequences. This is a story about the sacrifices we make that turn out not to be such great sacrifices after all.
Silk, Lace, and Satin Bows - Rated E
“What’re those,” House lilted, taking a firmer hold on the blanket and tugging, even as Wilson cluched the blanket to his chest, his eyse impossibly wide as he shook his head.
“It’s nothing,” Wilson gritted out, cheeks flushing hotly. “I just… I borrowed some underwear from Sam. It’s nothing. Just get out, House,” the younger man hissed, clutching the blanket more firmly to his chest.
The Marrying Kind - Rated E
The one where House is a wedding planner and Wilson keeps on getting married.
TGIF - Rated E
House is stuck living the same Friday over and over and over and over again. A Groundhog Day AU with a medical mystery, the pursuit of true love, and egregious references to Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell.
Correlation Does Not Equal Causation - Rated E
“This… this hasn’t happened before.”
“Most people say that in the opposite situation.”
Alternatively titled: Wilson Doesn’t Actually Have Whiskey Dick
Don’t mind me just adding another fic here.
Grin and Bear It - Rated E
In a world where soulmates can feel each other’s pain, Wilson had always grown up wondering if he really had a soulmate. Sure, he could feel the occasional twinge like that of a bruise or cut without actually seeing one, but he had always chalked those up to random aches and pains that everybody got.
Wilson would keep this mindset until both he and House begin feeling agonizing leg pain, and a realization dawning from it causes Wilson’s entire life and well-being to change forever.
I’m always looking for new Fics so if there’s a fic you think is missing from this list, let me know and I’ll check it out!
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 months
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Imagine…Meeting Dean In Prison
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Pairing: Prisoner!Dean x guard!reader
______
“Hi,” said prisoner 83907. You paid him no attention, the man with the cocky smiling offering a wink in your direction. You knew his type. A bastard behind his smirk. “Hello guard…52119608. That’s too long. How about sweetheart instead?”
“How about silence is golden, prisoner. The warden will be here soon.”
“I didn’t know they had women guards in a mens prison.”
“I work in the offices hence why I’m watching you. If you’d prefer one of the men to come in, be my guest. They might kick your ass after I’m finished but let’s go get one of you-“
“No. No, I’ll be on my best behavior.” He sat back in the chair, holding his cuffed hands in his lap. “You think the warden’s gonna throw me in solitary?”
“Depends on what you did. Didn’t I tell you to be quiet?”
“Yeah but I might not have the chance to talk to anyone for awhile so I might as well while I can.” You sighed, the man shrugging. “I decked a guard.”
“Yeah, you’re getting solitary.”
“I had a good reason.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“He was feeling up some chick. Red head.” You instantly thought of Kelly in HR. She’d gone home sick all of a sudden, pretty shaken up. You looked at the door and figured you had some time alone still. 
“Tell me everything that happened. Now.”
Two Days Later
“Mr. Winchester,” you said. He lifted his head up from where he sat in the interview room. “Or do you prefer Dean?”
“Dean is good. What’s going on, sweetheart? I went from solitary to being told I’m out on early parole this afternoon.”
“We were able to verify the story you relayed to me. The parole board was already reviewing your case and your selflessness in protecting one of our staff swayed them into releasing you early.”
“Someone must have been in my corner. Not often a prisoner’s word is listened to,” he said. You leaned against the door frame, Dean’s smile soft now. “I wonder who vouched for me.”
“Kelly’s my friend. And that particular guard is an ass. So thank you.”
“You looked up my wrap sheet, didn’t you.”
“You stole a car to get your injured little brother to a hospital. You’re not exactly evil incarnate, Dean.”
“Yeah but I’m known to steal a heart or two. Might have to lock me up for that,” he said. You rolled your eyes and he offered you a coy smirk. “What do I owe you?”
“Stay out of trouble for me Dean.”
“Only the bad kind,” he said. “Scout’s honor.”
Six Months Later
“Get off! Jerk!” you shouted, turning and punching the man trying to steal your purse from behind you. You kneed him in the groin and he dropped, giving you enough time to get behind him and pin his wrists together. He reared his head and threw you off but a quick punch from someone else put him back on the ground.
“You okay?” said a familiar voice. Your head snapped up, the man shaking out his wrist, staring blankly. “My prison guardian angel?”
“Name’s Y/N,” you said, righting yourself, the man groaning on the ground. “Move and I’ll shoot you.”
Dean flagged down a cop car that drove past, the man quickly gone and leaving the two of you on the sidewalk. 
“Isn’t getting drunk a violation of your parole?” you asked. He smirked and held up his chin.
“I was pardoned two months ago by the state. Funny considering I never submitted an application.”
“You must be lucky,” you said with a nod. “You look good. Got a job?”
“Bar tend under the table right over there. Going to school right now. I probably shouldn’t have told you about the under the table thing.”
“Eh. I like you Winchester. You’re good,” you teased. He grinned and shoved his hands in his pockets. “What?”
“You’re not a prison guard anymore are you.”
“What gave it away?”
“You have flour in your hair.” You threw your head back and groaned. “You work in one of the restaurants around here?”
“Maybe,” you said, taking a step past him. “You want to buy me a drink?”
“Told you I’m good at stealing hearts sweetheart.” He grinned and you walked past him, heading for the bar. 
“It’s one drink. It’s a ‘you owe me’ drink in fact. No stolen hearts here,” you said. He caught up with you at the door and leaned in close, nearly brushing his lips over yours.
“No stolen heart. Yet.”
__________
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calzone-d · 1 year
Text
Always There (Ted Lasso x Fem!Reader)
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pairing: ted lasso x fem!reader, mom(ish)!reader x henry lasso
word count: 3.7k (not the most proofread, sorry!)
warnings: henry being kind of sad, reader x henry fluff/comfort, ted being worried, michelle/jake slander, face-sitting, oral sex (f receiving), ass eating (it made the cut), unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, anal fingering
a/n: that last episode gave me ideas, so that’s how this started. then sad ted made me horny, and that’s how this ended. if you like michelle/jake you may not like the first part of this. or most of my blog? anyways, hope you like it! my inbox is open as always!
summary: you and henry have a heart to heart before you comfort ted in a way that only you can.
find my masterlist here.
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Ted was unusually quiet as you ate dinner. You knew Michelle and Jake being in town really struck a nerve, but he’s gotten good at letting that stress go so that he can enjoy his time with you and Henry all together as a family. As you and Henry talked, he kept quiet as he listened in. You decided to not push it in fear of him shutting down, and of Henry hearing. He didn’t visit as much as you wished he could, so you wanted his time with you and Ted to be as happy and carefree as possible. If you had it your way, though, he’d just go ahead and move in. 
Henry had roped you in to help him build a quick lego set before bed. The boy adored you. He had become pretty attached to you, actually. On the couch, Ted watched quietly as you worked together and smiled to himself everytime you’d take over for a while and Henry would lean against you. Henry was obviously exhausted, but he wanted to stay up with you.
Putting him to bed was easy, as always. As he’d gotten older, your usual nighttime books turned into telling each other funny stories and recalling cherished memories. Ted stayed behind to put away dinner while you got Hnery settled. 
“So.. fill me in. How do you like Jake?”
“mm.. he’s okay, I guess.”
“just okay?”
“he only really talks to me in front of mom. and when I tell him things he never remembers… he was the one who told me to be more rough at school! I told him someone hurt my feelings, and he said I should do the same back.. I knew it was wrong, dad’s always told me that.. I guess I was just trying to make him like me. Then he was the most mad at me after.”
you’re silent for a moment as you take in henry’s words. before you can respond, the lasso boy is talking again,
“what do you think i should have done?”
the question shocks you for a split second. you’ve always tried to make it very clear you never intended on being a replacement for michelle. you let henry get to know you at his own pace, get comfortable around you at his own pace.
“well, hen.. i think you should’ve done what you thought was right.”
“maybe..”
“what do you wish you would’ve done?”
“i don’t know? talk to him about it, i guess. kinda like dad talked to you about his feelings the other night.”
your eyes widened as you recalled the conversation. ted was telling you about how he felt michelle had wronged him, which you completely agreed with, but it wasn’t a conversation either of you wanted henry to hear. luckily, with how good of a man Ted is, he didn’t really say anything bad about her that henry could’ve heard, but still. henry’s a kid, his parents relationship shouldn’t have been a concern in his mind.
“hun, i’m sorry you heard that. that was an adult conversation. you know your dad loves your mom very much-“
“no, he’s just nice to her. she hurt his feelings and broke his trust, so he doesn’t love her”
honestly? henry was right. spot on, even. he was a smart kid, but your heart hurt at the thought of him coming to those realizations by himself. you knew michelle didn’t play a part in explaining anything to him, and ted tried the best he could, but sometimes it was hard.
“trust is a really tricky thing, hen-“
“not really.”
“how so?”
“i mean, i trust you. remember that time i fell and scraped my knee? i was sad that you only had brown bandaids and you promised me that we could go to the store the next day and get blue ones.”
you nodded along, remembering the day very clearly.
“the next morning you took me to get them. so now i don’t worry that you won’t be there for me, because i know you will.”
“i’ll always be here, bub.”
“i trust dad. i trust my friends ellie and spencer in class. i trust grandma, and grandpa- ooh and your mom! i like her too. she’s always nice to me when i visit. her cookies are so good-“
henry’s rambling made you chuckle and you pulled him in close.
“…but dad doesn’t love mom. i promise i’m right, y/n”
“and what makes you think that?”
“because he loves you, and kisses you, and tells you how pretty you are.”
your cheeks reddened, “well, he does do that”
“and even when you aren’t there! he always tells me how nice you are and how much you love us. mom doesn’t like to talk about dad, and it’s usually about how he talks too much. her and jake get mad when i talk about my dad.”
it frustrated you the way michelle so easily talked bad about Ted, especially in front of henry. especially when she was the one who seemed to have done some immoral things.
“i’m sorry, hen. you shouldn’t be in the middle, ever.. it isn’t fair. if i’ve ever made you feel that way, i apologize.”
henry shrugged his shoulders and played with the hem of your t-shirt.
“s’okay.. it isn’t you. i just wish i could stay with you and dad. dad is happier now, and you guys order pizza every week.”
you cackle before you can stop yourself, “only when you’re here, hen.”
“oh. well still. being here makes me happier. i like your cat, too. she always comes and sleeps with me at night..”
his eyes fluttered closed as the aforementioned cat hopped up on his bed. you brought a hand up to rub at his back over his shirt, something you always did when he was trying to fall asleep. 
before he could get too comfy, ted came in. he was dressed in his pajamas and his hair seemed as if he’d been running his hands through it often. he sat down next to you on the bed and reached a hand out to smooth henry’s hair on top of his head.
“you tired, buddy?”
henry nodded.
“well i’m gettin’ there myself. i love you, hen. if you need anything come wake one of us up, y’hear?”, ted said before leaning over to kiss henry’s head. you smiled ad ted’s interaction with henry. the way he was as a dad made you swoon. 
“i love you too dad.. goodnight”, henry said as he cuddled back into you. 
after ted walked out, you spoke again. 
“your dad and i love you so much, baby. even if you’re not here, if you’re ever sad or confused or angry.. or anything, you know we’re only a call away.”
he huffed before murmuring, “wish mom would just let me stay.”
your eyebrows furrowed. you wish he could stay, too. his confession tugged at your heart as you pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
“love you, y/n”
“i love you too, henry bug.”
you scratched his back until his breathing evened out and he was asleep. when you were finally able to sneak away from his room, you tucked the blankets around him and turned off his lamp.
ted was sitting on the couch, hair wet and floppy from a quick shower. he looked so domestic and cozy in his t-shirt and flannel pajama pants, but the smile he gave you when he met your gaze didn’t make his eyes crinkle like usual. it was clear something was up.
his eyes stayed on you as you took a seat next to him and snuggled into his side like henry had previously done to you.
“you okay, teddy?”
he contemplated telling you he was fine for a moment. contemplated just brushing it off like he’d been practically trained to do in his marriage for so long. 
“are you happy?”
“beyond happy, hun. i’ve got you, got henry bug, we just kicked ass building that lego set together, too. m’doing just fine.”
ted nodded softly as he mulled over your words. your hand played with a loose thread on his pants until he spoke again.
“just wonder if sometimes i should be doin’ more for you, y’know?”, ted’s words were soft and timid. behind them you could feel the side of him that was terrified of rejection. more specifically, your rejection.
“like what?”
ted’s shoulders shrugged, “dunno. maybe a trip to paris?”
“i don’t want a trip to paris, ted.”
his eyes were sad as he turned to look at you, “where do you wanna go, then?”
you shook your head at him softly. if you listened close enough it almost sounded like he felt you demanded a trip or some grand gesture.
“ted i don’t want a trip anywhere, i want you. i want you and henry, and i have that. i’m happy. with you, our relationship, all of it.”, you paused for a moment. 
 “have i done something or said something to make you think otherwise?”
ted shook his head immediately. “no, not at all! i just.. i’m used to having to guess.. and even when i guessed, everything was still wrong. i just don’t want you to be unhappy and me not know, o-or bored, or-”
“you’re spiraling, honey.”, you grab both of his hands in yours. “i fucking love you, ted. more than you could ever imagine. henry, too. you two make me so damn happy, and there’s not a single thought that’s ever crossed my mind that has anything to do with splitting us up. we’re a family now, ted. we’ve got something fucking great going. m’not interested in losing that, or you.”
ted chuckles at your firm tone, and although it’s a watery chuckle, it makes you smile.
“y’mean it?”
he sniffles and smiles more when you nod. you use his hands to pull him closer so that you can press a gentle kiss to his lips. after that, you move to his cheek, across his cheek bone, and over to his ear.
“i’m more than happy, hun. more than you know.”
ted let out a content hum before putting his hand on the back of your head and pulling you in for another kiss.
this one was more intense, and you swung a leg over his lap as you moved to straddle him. his warm hands found a home on your hips and he gave them a loving squeeze. your lips pressed slow, warm kisses to his neck. soft sighs left his swollen lips as he let his head fall against the back of the couch.
“you make me a happy man, darlin’..”, his voice was low and full of need.
you hummed against his neck in response as you slipped a hand under his shirt, and brushed across the hair on his belly. he let out a soft moan at the way you angled your hips forward to reach the other side of his neck. the sound made you chuckle and you brought your lips to his ear.
“shh, honey. gotta stay quiet for me.”
your words made him whimper, especially combined with the slow movements of your hips against his throbbing cock.
“ohhh-“, his groan was cut off once your lips were on his. his tongue swirled and prodded against yours as you found a rhythm grinding on top of him. you swear you heard him whine when you pulled away.
you bit your lip and smiled at the way his lips chased yours.
“can’t fool around on the couch tonight, baby.. we gotta go to the bedroom, c’mon”
his eager “yes mam” as he got up to follow you only made you more excited.
as soon as you stepped into your room, you slipped out of your shirt and sweatpants, ted mirrored your actions with a smirk.
ted pulled you in by the waist before you could lie back on the bed. his hands were warm against your bare skin and the hair across his abdomen tickled as you pushed yourself up against him. his mouth captured yours in a hot kiss, full of need. his teeth were biting at your bottom lip, tongue swirling with yours as your breathing grew labored.
one of his hands slid up to tangle itself in your hair. he pulled your head to the side as his lips made their way down your neck, and across your shoulders. ted sucked and nipped at your collarbone, leaving marks you hoped wouldn��t be too noticeable tomorrow.
“oh… honey”, you whispered.
ted hummed against your skin as he softly brushed his fingers over your belly and down to your pussy. you knew you were soaked. just the thought of having him to yourself, knowing he was all yours, had you burning with desire.
his thick fingers slid inbetween your lower lips, spreading your slick arousal and occasionally swiping over your swollen clit.
“need you to use me, honey..”, ted’s words were almost inaudible as he moved up to kiss your jaw. a smirk found it’s way to your lips as you batted your eyelashes at him.
“oh?”
“need y’to know i’m all yours. want to make you happy, please baby.”
you pulled him to get on the bed as an idea quickly formed in your brain. ted was always so eager to please, such a giver. he got off on making you feel good and loved being the one to make you orgasm. just knowing he was the only person seeing you and touching you that way was enough to make his cock throb.
you smiled and bit your lip as you instructed him, “lie back, teddy.”
a cheeky smile grew on his face, he immediately knew what was going on. one of his hands reached down to palm himself through his boxers while you straddled him and made your way up his body. by the time you were hovering over his face he was practically drooling in anticipation.
his eyes were lit up once you lowered yourself on him. ted’s arms came up to hold your thighs before he went to work. your eyes locked with his when he took that first lick, and you could tell by the look in them that this was exactly what he’d been hoping for.
he dragged his tongue up and down your folds, moaning at the taste of you. the nose of his you loved so much would bump against your clit every so often, making you whimper. 
you watched as his eyes fluttered closed and he let himself get lost in the taste of you. his tongue seemed to never stop, prodding at your entrance, swirling around your clit, weaving through your lower lips. after a few minutes you brought your hands down to stroke at his hair, but your light touches soon turned into you full on grabbing his hair and using it as leverage.
ted admitted pretty early on that he loved when you pulled his hair. it was one of the first “new” things he’d realized he enjoyed after having sex with you.
your finger tugged gently at his thick head of hair and you slowly ground your hips down on his face. his hands moved from your hips to your ass cheeks, encouraging you and helping you move. the tip of ted’s nose pressed firmly into your clit with every rock, drawing moans out of you like it was nothing.
“mmm, ted.. that’s so good, fuck!”, you had to mentally remind yourself to stay quiet. it was a huge change from your usually loud moans and pleads.
as your orgasm built, you realized it was a good thing you were sitting on ted’s face. he was never good at keeping quiet. it was too easy to get lost in you.
when he finally opened his eyes to meet yours, his pupils were blown and his lids were hooded. you kept his gaze as you reached a hand up to pull at one of your hardened nipples, still using your other hand pull at his hair.
you opened your hand up to palm at one of your tits. the feeling combined with ted’s hands kneading your ass had you right on the brink of what you knew would be another amazing orgasm. ted was moaning into your pussy like a mad man, and the only thing more crude was the sounds that came from him putting in every effort to make you fall apart on his tongue.
“shit, oh- i’m right there baby..”
ted didn’t dare ease up on his grip as you came, holding you firmly against his face as you trembled on top of him. he worked you through your orgasm and when you went to get off his face, your thighs felt like they were going to give out.
as you lifted off him, he continued to lazily tongue at your now dripping cunt. he seemed to follow it with his mouth as you pulled away. you flopped beside him, your chest heaving, as you attempted to catch your breath.
ted, on the other hand, didn’t miss a beat. as you were practically gulping down air, he rolled over and began kissing over the swell of your tits. his face felt wet against you from where he ate you out, and just thinking about the dirtiness of it all had you wanting even more.
your breath hitched in your throat as his teeth scraped lightly over one of the pebbled buds. his lips were red and glistening, making them look even more perfect as he wrapped his lips around your nipple. almost like a chain reaction, the feeling had you squirming underneath him.
by the time he was satisfied, both your nipples glistened with the mixture of ted’s spit, and the remnants of your orgasm.
“you got another in you, darlin’?” his voice was gentle but full of need. his fingers softly stroked the sides of your quivering thighs.
“mhm.. want you deep, though. need to feel you..” your mind was hazy as your words trailed off.
“you know i’ll take good care of you, sweet thing..”
he softly grabbed at your hips, pulling you closer before flipping you over. you were entirely his, completely at his mercy. you needed him so badly you would’ve let him do whatever the hell he wanted.
ted’s hands pulled your hips into him, arching your back in the process. you’d grown needy, and when you softly pressed back onto him it was obvious he’d shed his boxers sometime throughout the night. the hair at the base of his cock was scratchy as it brushed over the skin of your ass. his cock was hot and thick against your swollen pussy, and you could barely form thoughts that weren’t of him.
the feeling of him backing away made you whimper in protest, but before you could speak, his hands were on your ass cheeks. you felt him pull them apart before his tongue collected more of your sweet arousal. ted squeezed your ass as he used it to pull you further into his face, completely burying his face into your most intimate places.
you gasped in surprise as his tongue moved upwards and prodded against your other hole, licking at you softly as his thumb came up to tap against your clit.
“ted, oh my god..”
he barely pulls away, “too much?”
“no no.. fuck please keep going honey”, your words were rushed as you were eager to get his mouth back on you.
just the thought of how dirty it was had you panting and groaning into the sheets. the action itself had your pussy clenching around nothing.
ted’s tongue poked and prodded at the tight ring of muscle as his fingers dug into the flesh of your ass. his thumb continued to tap and rub at your clit, making you whimper and push back onto his face. the man clearly didn’t mind. in fact, it felt as if he pressed his face further into you.
the hair of his mustache tickled but didn’t deter you one bit. ted’s spit was practically dripping between your cheeks when he pulled away.
words weren’t even forming in your brain, but you didn’t need them because a few seconds later the head of ted’s cock was brushing through your soaked folds. luckily, he didn’t tease you and eased himself in.
taking ted’s cock was always a stretch, but with your orgasm earlier and ted’s love for foreplay, it felt a tiny bit easier this time. ever the gentlemen, he still gave you time to adjust before pulling out and pushing back into you.
“honey you’re- fuck, so fucking tight.”
you could only moan in response as you worked your hips back against him as best as you could. with each stroke, his cock brushed your g-spot before nudging against your cervix. your face was buried in the pillow, because at this point, it was the only way for you to stay quiet.
as ted worked his cock in and out of you, you turned your head to the side and rested your cheek against the pillow.
“ted.. can you- shit- put your thumb- mmf, oh fuck!”
it was like he could read your mind. before you finished your sentence ted had brought a thumb up and was spreading the wetness from your previous activities around the tight ring of muscle seated right above where his cock was stuffed in your pussy.
you knew your only choice was to shove your face back into the pillow under your head as he slowly worked the tip of this thumb in. it was the only way for you to be quiet. ted’s cock hit the deepest part of you while he worked his thumb in and out of your ass.
“that feel good, darlin’?”
what he could barely make out as a “yes” left your lips as moans poured constantly from them. ted’s other hand reached around so he was able to rub at your clit, eager for your impending orgasm.
“shit, I can tell, baby. squeezin’ me so tight, ugh”, his accent had gotten thicker and it only added to the mess of fog in your head.
he worked you perfectly until you were on the verge of an orgasm.by now he knew every tell, every cue.
“i feel you, baby. that’s it.. come on my cock sweetheart, take it..”
ted’s filthy words combined with the perfect stretch of his cock, the added sensation from his thumb, and the tight circles he was rubbing on your clit sent you right over the edge.
the little sense you had left is what kept your face in the pillow as you came. your thighs quivered as ted shoved his cock as deep in you as he could manage before you felt his warm cum fill you up.
he eased his thumb from your ass as he pulled out and lied down beside you, immediately taking you into his arms.
“you okay, honey?”
“i’m… im good.. fuck, ted.”, you panted.
ted’s smile was confident as he pulled you in to kiss your face.
“i love you so much. i’m so glad you’re here for us.. so glad you love us.”, he murmured into the top of your head.
“m’not going anywhere, teddy.”
he hummed in response as you both came down from the post-orgasm high coursing through your veins.
thanks for reading!
1K notes · View notes
Text
Quand Tu Voudras
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
WC: ~7.2k
TW: kissing, angst, blood, burns, cuts, bruises, arguments, crying, depression, mention of EDs, panicking, explosions, drinking, self-image issues, mentions of addiction, mentions of drug use, mentions of Maeve
A/N: Third and Final Part babyyyyyy let's GO. I'm actually excited to watch each part get its own vibes, but also be a cohesive story. I really hope you all enjoy it! Thank y'all for doing me on this crazy journey!
Dedicated to New Lovers , You're Keeping Me Down
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“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” ~Orson Welles
It was the most beautiful you had ever looked. 
Shopping for a wedding dress was one of the most terrifying experiences you had ever lived through, and you had been shot multiple times. 
But being surrounded by your closest friends and family members as you tried on dress after dress kept you going. 
You finally found the perfect one in a small shop outside of the DC area, hidden in a little suburb where life wasn’t as rushed as it felt. 
You tried on only three dresses at this little boutique. The second was almost perfect, and you were about to “say yes to the dress,” but someone was reorganizing the front rack, and that’s when the one you were currently wearing appeared, sent by the higher powers. 
It fits you perfectly. 
You started to cry when you saw yourself in the mirror, which caused Garcia to start crying, which caused Emily and JJ to cry, and the rest of your family quickly followed. 
So it was only natural that staring at yourself in the mirror right now made you tear up again. 
“Oh, Babe, no.” Emily was quick to fan your eyes as you tilted your head back, letting the tears melt back into your eyes. 
“I can’t help it.” You grumbled, eyes wide as you tried calming your breathing slowly. “It’s just so pretty…” 
“I know, I know. My money is on Derek crying first.” 
“Oh, please. We all know Rossi won’t stop crying the second he takes his seat.”
You had decided that the only people you wanted at the ceremony were close friends and family. That meant the team, their little ones, and each of your parents. Small. Peaceful. Intimate.
Derek was over the moon when you asked him to officiate your wedding, wanting him to be there for you in every way since that’s always been his role. 
You had taken him out for coffee under the very real guise that wedding planning made you want to rip your head off and chuck it out to sea. 
“Okay, baby girl, talk to me.” 
The ice was melting in the cup from the warmth of your hands, making your hands wet with the condensation, hiding the sweat from your nerves. 
“Do you know how much flowers cost?” 
Derek chuckled and shook his head. “No. I don’t think I do.”
“The government doesn’t pay me enough for the amount of flowers I want at my reception.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have picked the Peabody Library as your reception location.”
“In my defense.” You furrowed your brows. “You were with us when we toured it. It’s perfect, Derek. Don’t tell me it’s not.” 
“No, it’s perfect; I just don’t understand why you need that many flowers.”
“Sometimes, I feel like you don’t even know me, Derek Morgan.” 
“He’s going to cry first.” Emily smiled, lightly dabbing under your eyes with some of your powder foundation to show that you weren’t almost crying. 
“I will buy you a whole bottle of Möet that Rossi will cry first.” 
As JJ entered the room, you and Emily shook hands, giggling like school girls. “Almost ready?” 
You nodded, glancing over at yourself in the mirror. 
Honestly, you had never thought this day would come. Your wedding day. After everything you had been through, all of the heartbreak, all of the confusion, all of the traveling and running away. Everything you could possibly think of going wrong just went wrong. Suddenly, the flowers weren’t delivered, and then no one showed up to the reception, and then you were left at the altar, abandoned and unloveable again. You couldn’t breathe; your chest was seizing. It was too tight. There wasn’t enough fresh air in the room. Your heartbeat was too loud, and you couldn’t look away from yourself in the mirror. This wasn’t real; Everything bad happening was in your head. 
Or maybe it was an awful dream, and you need to wake up before it gets too far and your heart gets shattered again. 
JJ whispered your name, reaching out for you, sending a shock of electricity through your arm when she touched it. 
You jumped. 
“I want to talk to him.” You blurted out, looking over at JJ. “I–I need to talk to him.” 
“You said yes.” 
You nodded, staring down at your wine glass, pondering if it was the right decision. Emily was wondering the same thing. 
“I don’t know if it’s the best idea for you to go back to—”
“It is.” You cut her off, not harshly, just firmly. “I haven’t been the same since I left the BAU, and I left for perfectly valid reasons, Em, I know. But….”
“But?” 
“But I miss it. Don’t you? It flexes my muscles in ways I couldn’t replicate, and I was so good at it. I felt smart and useful and not lost, wandering the islands of Greece.”
If you didn’t know her so well, Emily’s fake gasp could have easily been mistaken for a real one. “We had a fantastic time, and you know it.” 
“Yes, but I also know that I was feeling so unfulfilled intellectually that I went off and got a Ph.D. Like, come on, I never wanted a PhD before I left; I just didn’t know how to challenge myself.”
“That is fair. I just think you need to consider the fact that you’d be working with you know who.”
“You can say his name, Emily. He’s not some dark lord; he’s just an idiot with an IQ of 187.” 
“Yeah, Yeah, look. I have to go, but we are not done with this conversation, okay? I’ll need a full PowerPoint presentation with all the pros and the cons.” 
“Yes, ma’am, I can do that. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”
You heard the click of her line going dead before there was a knock on your door. You quickly pressed play on your movie, letting one of your favorite rom-coms (When Harry Met Sally) play in the background as you scrounged around for where you had left your wallet. 
Clad in an oversized shirt you’ve had forever, plaid pajama shorts that were once part of a Christmas set, and your comfiest fuzzy socks, you slid over to the door once you had found your wallet. 
You opened the door. “How much…”
His eyes met yours, and you took a small step back. 
“You are not the pizza guy.” 
“No. I’m not.” 
His answer caused you to laugh a little bit, filling his chest with a warmth he hadn’t felt in over two years. 
“Can I–” He gestured into your house, and you moved to the side, allowing him to enter. 
“I, um….” You bit your lip and eyed him up and down. “As long as you’re okay with When Harry Met Sally playing in the background.”
“Time for the annual rewatch.” He smiled at you nervously, but a very small part of yourself enjoyed the fact that he remembered. 
You headed back towards the couch, casually trying to clean up as you went to give the impression that you were cleaner than you were. 
“Shoes off before you get to the couch.” You called over your shoulder. 
The door closed behind Spencer with a soft click. 
“Honey, you said you don’t want a first look.”
“We don’t have to look at each other—I don’t know, like a corner or something. I just..I-I-I.” 
JJ watched as your panic started to bubble over, and she took your hands in hers. “Want to call him first?” 
You nodded. “Y-Yeah, let’s try that.” 
JJ handed you your phone off the vanity, watching as you dialed the number, panicking even more when it wouldn’t connect—there was no service. 
Spencer had asked you to play chess with him that night, and you obliged. Something about falling into an old routine felt good; it felt right. A movie you chose in the background while playing chess against Spencer. Some things were always meant to be. The night was filled with laughs, small talk, and contentment–life feeling like it should. 
A familiarity shrouded you both, mocking the comfort you once used to feel.
When you won, he was a bit baffled. You had only beaten him a few times, and he was focusing on all of the outcomes. How could he not notice—
“You can’t win every game, Spence.” 
His heart lodged in his throat at the nickname, and he looked up at you, that goofy half smile on his lips. 
Lovestruck. He looked lovestruck. 
And then you exhaled. “We can’t avoid it forever. I know that’s why you came here in the first place.” 
He blinked away the love, replacing it with guilt, hurt, fragments of something you both had grieved in your own time. 
“Y-yeah. Let’s um, let’s talk about…”
You redialled the number only to be met with the same beeping as before, eyes wide as you looked at JJ. “There’s no service. JJ, I can’t–he won’t…” 
Emily handed you her phone–it was ringing, thank god. 
“Hey Emily, is everything okay?” 
“It’s me.” You said simply, but the wobble in your voice said everything he needed to hear.
“oh–Honey, talk to me. What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 
“I-I…” You swallowed your tears and looked over at your two friends—you gestured slightly, silently asking them to leave the room so you could talk to your future husband alone. They obliged, letting the door close. It was nice of them to pretend like they weren’t running over to see if they could eavesdrop from his room, but they were just met with Derek in the hall, who had also been booted out. 
“Is she okay?” 
Emily shook her head. “No idea. She was fine one moment, and she was about to burst the next. Like a complete shift of personality.” 
Derek sighed. “I’ve never seen him switch so quickly either. He was all nervous one minute, but the second he heard her voice….he almost sounded like Hotch doing damage control.” 
JJ laughed slightly at that, glancing back at the door hiding you behind it. 
“Do you think she’ll go through with it?” Derek whispered slowly, making sure no one was around to hear him. 
Emily fidgeted with the bracelet on her wrist. “She’s terrified he’s not going to.” 
“Look, Spence, I get it. Shit happens. But you don’t know what it was like, coming home one day and you were laughing with someone else. You hadn’t laughed for months, almost a year, before then.”
“I know. I’m so–”
“Say sorry one more fucking time. Sorry isn’t explaining…or talking to me. I know you have trouble expressing whatever bullshit is going on in your head, but you have to try. It’s me, for fucks sake, Spence, And while I am willing to wait, I can only be so patient for so long with no actual explanation—” 
“I was terrified of you.”
“What…” 
Spencer stood up, pacing back and forth in front of your coffee table, trying to find the right words. “You were so far gone when Em died, and you had sunk into this pit of despair, and I was scared of watching you push down this path, destructive and–and; I didn’t know who you were, and I was so scared to watch you go down this path so I turned away instead.” 
“Spencer, you ran to JJ. You just left me here, alone. And then, when she comes back, you fucking threaten the fact that you were having Dilaudid cravings?”
“I think he’s even more mortified that she will back out on him. He knows everything she’s gone through. I mean–I love her, but she’s got major commitment issues.” 
JJ slapped his arm and glared at him. “And for good reason, Derek.” 
Derek grumbled an ‘ow,’ rubbing at his arm. “I’m not saying it wasn’t justified–I completely side with her on it--I’m just pointing out what we already know.” 
Spencer closed his eyes. “I don’t love you anymore.” 
Your heart leaped into your throat, or maybe it was vomit, you weren’t sure, but all you could do was stare at him from across the kitchen countertop. 
“Since this was my place first, uh…I can give you a couple of weeks to find a place, and I’ll even sleep on the couch…”
You hadn’t even spoken yet, shaking your head. “Stop. Spencer. What.” 
Your head was pounding, hands gripping onto the counter to try and steady yourself.”
“Sorry.” He whispered. He couldn’t even look at you. He was just staring at his hands, almost unsure about what he was saying. 
“Sorry?” You laughed, tears starting to track down your cheeks. “Spencer, this has to be a sick fucking joke..” 
He shook his head. 
Behind the door, You were just pacing back and forth, listening to his voice, trying to erase this memory from your mind and find a new one to replace it, barely listening to the man on the other end of the line. 
“Hey, listen to me. It’s going to be okay. If you want to call the whole thing off, everyone will understand. If it’s not right—.” 
“No.” You responded immediately. “I–I, I want to do this, I want to marry you…just…”
“You just needed some reassurance. I know.”
You nodded, not realizing he couldn’t hear you nod, but somehow, it felt like he did. 
“I love you.” 
You smiled, exhaling shakily. “Good.” 
His laugh bubbled through his lips, causing you to take another breath.
“I’ll see you out there?” 
“Can you just stay on the phone for another minute or so? I just need, like—”
You could hear him nod over the phone. “Anything you want.”
Somehow, you were back in that fucking elevator. Again. 
But this time, it felt like a homecoming rather than a curse you were trying to break. 
When the doors opened, you saw your family leaving little presents on your desk—flowers, balloons, chocolate, even cupcakes from your favorite bakery. They were all so busy setting it up that they didn’t notice as you walked up behind them, peering over their shoulders. 
“Looks good, guys.” 
“You think—” Derek did a double take and clutched his chest. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.” 
You laughed and smiled at him, dropping your bag onto your chair. “It looks wonderful. You guys didn’t have to do anything for me–”
“Actually, we did. How could we not? I mean! She’s home! She’s back solving crimes in sexy-looking outfits!” Garcia wrapped her arm around your shoulders, resting her head on yours. 
“I love it, guys, thank you.” 
JJ briskly walked past you all, giving you a brief smile, almost running up the stairs and into Hotch’s office. 
“Well, looks like you’re getting thrown right back into it.” Derek sighed. 
Hotch came out of his office and smiled at you before nodding at the others. “Wheels up in forty, everyone. I’ll brief you all on the plane.” 
“Good.” 
“Just breathe y/n. Okay? I’ll be the one at the end of the altar with the incredibly well-tailored suit and those flowers you like so much pinned to my chest.”
“You’re gonna cry.” You whispered jokingly, taking in a deeper breath than before. “I look so good in this dress. I actually was crying about it before I made Emily call you.” 
“It’s like you’re trying to kill me.”
Derek knocked on your door, leaning his ear up against it, trying to hear what you were saying. He called out your name, and after about a minute, you told him it was unlocked. 
“Can I come in?”
“If you want Derek, it is entirely up to you.” 
He opened the door, tears welling up the second he saw you. 
Hearing him enter, you faced him, smiling softly at him. 
All Derek could do was take you in for a second, unable to really think of what he was about to tell you. This felt a bit ridiculous since he was there when you picked out the dress, but watching you now, ready to actually wear it for its intended purpose, was a whole different ball game. 
“You look…..”
“Right.” You whispered, walking over and squeezing his hand. “I’m ready. Let’s do this thing before shit goes south.”
______________________________________________________________
“Y/n, You are the love of my life, and I could give you an eternal list of every single moment of my life where I felt nothing but complete and utter adoration for you. But then last week, you picked the movie you thought we should watch: a nineties rom-com, obviously, with big romantic gestures and a heroine who doesn’t need to be tamed. And those two inspired me to give you instead a list of the ten things I hate about you.” 
Spencer had gotten a good look at you for the first time in a long time. He had already felt guilty about the fact that he had Maeve and that you had broken up. But what he had failed to realize was the same thing Derek had–You were someone entirely different, a ghost of yourself. The guilt was gnawing through his stomach when he told Hotch what was going on, and he had begged Hotch to let you sit out, trying to save you from this, but clearly, Spencer couldn’t do anything right for you anymore. He hadn’t been able to in a very long time. Hotch had cleared his throat while Spencer shook his head. “I-I tried Hotch, I really didn’t want…”
He just nodded at Spencer. “I know, Reid, but you must have known there was no way this conversation would go any better than that.” 
Reid just nodded and stood up, going out into the bullpen, not missing the way all of their eyes snapped to him as Penelope dumped her broken mug into the trash. 
Before anyone could say anything, Hotch walked out of his office and looked at everyone. “As you all could have guessed, Agent Y/L/N will not be joining us on this case. I expect everyone in the conference room in ten.” with that, Hotch walked past Reid and down the stairs toward where he had assumed you had run off to. 
Reid just returned to his desk, sitting and staring at your now empty desk. Hotch had fulfilled your request, letting you move across the bullpen so you didn’t have to sit next to him anymore. 
Some part of the thought that you couldn’t even look at him anymore caused his gut to lurch, causing his hearing to burst for a moment. Maybe this was too fucked up. Perhaps he had been wrong. He thought he was doing the right thing by letting you go, not weighing you down with all his own bullshit, but he realized he had failed to pay attention. 
Spencer thought long and hard, trying to piece together everything he had thought about in the past couple of months when it came to you, and that’s when he realized it was every day. He thought about you every day. 
But he had ignored you. He had failed to notice as you crumbled to nothing in front of him. 
“Number ten is that I hate the way you fold laundry. It’s incredible how you manage to fold every single item in a completely different manner. It baffles me. One of the great mysteries in this world that we might never have the answer to.” 
“So you two spoke?”
You held up your finger as you finished the prosecco in your glass. Once you finished, casually, you picked up the bottle and poured yourself a second glass, only beginning to speak when the glass had been filled to your liking. 
“He came over to my apartment, Derek. I had already opened the door, and what was I going to say—”
“How about no?”
“It’s rude to interrupt Derek Morgan.” Penelope elbowed him and took a sip from her own glass. “But he’s right, Y/n. You could have said no and slammed the door in his face.” 
“But that’s not who I am. You know I’m a sucker for closure. You know I wanted to talk to him anyway. I just wasn’t expecting the discussion that ended up happening….”
Derek raised his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Do tell Princess.”
You shrugged and took another sip. “We talked about Maeve.”  
The looks you received were exactly what you had expected, only because it was how you felt about the conversation. 
“Number nine. I hate how you pick out what we will watch each week. You just skim through every single title on every platform until the one with the right ‘energy’ calls out to you. And they’re never the same. You manage to match a film to the night perfectly, and I hate how well you can pinpoint that about me. 
“Eight. I hate the way you drive. You manage to be the safest and most dangerous person on the road. There’s nothing more to that one. You terrify me.” 
“I cannot believe you, Spencer Reid. You have the audacity to come to my house, lose at chess, and then accuse me of being the reason our relationship ended!?”
“That’s not what I said.” His voice was desperate. “I’m not blaming anyone but myself, okay? I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I just—You were so–”
“I was so what, Spencer. What about me was just soooo fucking terrifying to you that you decided you didn’t want to propose to me anymore.” 
“That’s not fair.” 
Your jaw dropped. “You’re fucked in the head if you think the part that isn’t fair is me calling you out on that.” 
Spencer paced around, running his hands through his hair. He was going to wear a path in your carpet the way he was pacing back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. 
“Seven. I hate how captivating you are. Whenever you tell a story, there’s no use in getting any work done because all anyone can do is wait for the story to be finished. If there’s no ending–I’ve watched Morgan sulk at his desk until you returned from a meeting because you were running late and didn’t wrap up the end of the story for him. Something about the way you speak, the way you capture people’s attention, is one of the most dangerous weapons I’ve ever seen on the planet. 
“I hate—oh, sorry–Number six.” He smiled at you and squeezed your head. You were shaking slightly as you rapidly blinked away tears, trying to inhale and exhale through your nose. It wasn’t working. Every word this man said made you one second closer to jumping onto him and kissing him senseless. “I hate how smart you are. It’s ridiculous. You can argue so beautifully and eloquently that it makes anyone arguing against you look like a fucking idiot. You speak four fucking languages, making you invincible and even more aggravating since you’ve decided to start learning a fifth one. You have started to beat me every other game in chess, which is actually humiliating for me, and I can’t figure out how you’re doing it. You read everything under the sun and still manage to have a life, friends, and family. I don’t know anyone in the world who could compare to your intellect.”
“Five. I hate how you steal my chocolate-covered pretzels. I bought you a whole fucking cabinet’s worth, and somehow, mine still got eaten.” 
You watched him give you a bit of a stink eye for that one, causing you to kiss his hand lightly. “My apologies.”
“You don’t mean it, and you know it.” He grumbled, flipping his page so that he could keep reading. 
“I hate how beautiful you are. It’s distracting. I can’t work near you anymore because all I want to do is daydream about you. I want to watch you smile for the rest of my life if I can help it.” 
“Three. I hate how much you care. It terrifies me how much you care about other people. I have seen you at your best and your worst moments.” You squeezed his hand in reassurance. “I have seen the worst outcomes of cases we could ever imagine, or the best, and yet you put the same amount of effort and care into all of them. It’s infuriating because you put your life on the line constantly to be able to give people a chance, whether that be to save them from others or to save them from themselves. You are the most considerate person in the world, even to those who might not deserve it.” 
This was not a good case. 
It was never a ‘good case,’ but this one just sucked the absolute life out of you. You had been back for only a month, and it was going too well. You were on top of your game. You were better than ever—but you knew the other shoe would drop.
And it did. 
You were never a big fan of getting shot at, but you would prefer that rather than have to escape a burning building. It was one of your biggest fears, and here it was, being realized. 
You had managed to crawl down to the first floor before everything started to go black. He had sealed the windows. He had sprinkled broken glass along the stairs, causing you to rip open your legs and hands as you slid down the stairs. The more significant shards of glass shredding the back of your pants. It was fucking painful. But you had managed to make it to the kitchen. 
That’s when you saw the firefighters bursting through doors, trying to contain the fire surrounding you. You could feel the burn on your skin as they pulled you out of the building, blood dripping down your legs and hands. 
You must have been one fucked up sight for Hotch to drop everything he was doing and run over to you. But you wished he didn’t because the building behind you exploded. The flames must have hit the gas line, and the house came crashing down. 
You were thrown back from the force, causing you to land on your back. Nothing was broken, nothing was sprained, but adding road rash and hearing loss to your ever-growing list of injuries was not fun. 
Spencer and Hotch, who were shoved to the ground by the blast, scrambled over to you, where you were just lying on the ground, facing the sky, trying to breathe. 
Maybe they were yelling your name or just trying to speak to you, but your head buzzed with the remnants of the explosion. 
You watched as the sky above you filled with smoke and flickered with red hues. At some point, you saw Spencer come into your line of view. He was definitely mouthing your name. 
Just then, like a wave crashing over you again, your hearing came back. Overwhelming could barely describe the feeling of shock running through your body. Your eyes widened as tears sprung to your eyes, your lungs gasping for air, and your mind flooded with adrenaline, with panic. 
“Y/N. Hey. Listen to me. Hey.” Hotch had been trying to get you to sit up. He was going through his own internal panic attack—this scene was a little too close to NYC, to Kate. 
Ambulance sirens blared, and you could hear a beam crash down and spur on the fire—” It hurts. So. Bad.” You finally managed to whisper, still gasping for air. 
Reid wasn’t sure you were even registering that you were sobbing and that tears were racing down your cheeks. 
“Can you sit up?” 
“My hands.” You mumbled. “There-there was glass…so much…” 
You flinched as Hotch yelled for a gurney. 
“I need you to try and sit up, okay?” Spencer was next to you. He was on his hands and knees, slowly trying to gain your attention. There is a gentle touch on the arm here and a brush of your hair out of your eyes. He was just trying to give you peace, a breath amid everything going on.
“Spence.” You whined, flexing your hand, wincing when a tiny shard of glass shifted in your palm, causing even more pain. 
“I know.” He said to you, gently taking your hand and wincing as he saw the microscopic shards scattered across your palm. “I need you to sit up for me.” 
“Please don’t make me get up, Spence.” You whispered. 
Hotch had moved away from the both of you, trying to clear a path so two EMTs could reach you. 
“Once you sit up, I promise you won’t have to do anything else.” 
You closed your eyes and let out a cry. It felt so relieving to just let whatever tension you had left in your body. But the thought of not doing anything sounded even better, so you slowly made your way to a sitting position, leaning against Spencer’s chest as he kissed your head and carefully ran his hand up and down your arm. 
Spencer’s entire body relaxed into yours. He had never been more grateful that you could make it out of that building before…he didn’t want to think about what else would have happened. The two of you had just started talking again. You were hanging out. He would have never forgiven himself if he left things the way they were. 
It felt wrong for him to be grateful at how much you got hurt because all of your limbs were still intact, and you were still conscious, still breathing. But he was thankful as he held you on the pavement, in the middle of the road, while everyone ran around you both. 
You, on the other hand, were not happy to be sitting up. The adrenaline started to wear off, and your body was no longer buzzing. “Spence.” You whispered to him, trying to get his attention. You were nauseous, and the world was spinning. Everything was phasing in, and out of clarity, you could actually feel the earth rotating. 
“Spence.” This time, it was said with more urgency. And it caught his attention. “I need to lie back down.” 
“You can’t—”
“I’m gonna vomit.” 
“Shit shit shit, okay, nausea is usually a sign of a concussion, a really bad one, most likely in the red zone—”
“Spencer, please.” You mumbled, closing your eyes and slumping against him, trying your best to hold down whatever you felt slowly creeping up your throat. 
“I can’t let you lay back down.” He mumbled, turning you in his arms, prepping for whatever would come out. 
Luckily for both of you, the two EMTs and Hotch had made it back over, bucket in hand, because Hotch had told them you most likely had a concussion. And god bless that stupid bucket because it managed to save some of your dignity by not throwing up all over the street. The EMTs had checked you out, flashing that stupid fucking light in your eyes, looking at your hands and doing their best to pull out some of the larger chunks of glass, and then helping to get you onto a gurney, and eventually into an ambulance to be shipped off to the nearest hospital. 
Spencer was the only person you would allow to come with you in the ambulance. 
“Two. I hate how well you know me and can read me like an open book. I have never met someone who knew me in the same way you could. You know things about me before I could even fathom the possibilities. You have been there for me in some of the darkest times of my life, and I would not have survived if it wasn’t for you. You picked me off the ground countless times, more than I could ever repay you for.” 
“And last but not least. I hate how I can’t live without you. I hate that if you’re not in the same room as me, I can’t breathe. I hate how you manage to make my days filled with comfort, support, and love when sometimes I don’t deserve it. I hate when you go away to conferences, and I have to wake up to an empty bed, and the only thing that motivates me is the fact that I know you’ll text me as soon as you’re awake. I hate how you are the last person I want to see at night before I go to sleep. And I hate that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
You were fully crying, tears tracking down your cheeks, as you squeezed his hand tightly. You laughed slightly, trying to wipe away one of the stray tears, but he beat you to it, using his thumb to wipe away your tears gently. 
“Did you just quote When Harry Met Sally at me?” 
He smiled cheekily, handing the paper back to Derek, who put it in his pocket. “What else would I be able to quote at you? It was playing that night…” 
You shook your head, unable to stop the smile across your face. You heard him whisper, “I love you,” but it still made your heart ache. 
“Okay, Doctor Reid. Work your magic.” 
“You make it sound like I’m performing a spell or something. I’m literally just fixing your computer.” 
You snorted and shrugged. “Isn’t it you who always said that physics and magic are basically the same thing.”
“Okay, yes, but—”
“And computer science is a science, right?” 
Spencer just rolled his eyes, realizing he would not win this argument, and began to futz with your desktop. 
It had crashed on you while you were in the middle of a report. At home. In your pajamas. 
This was a practice that was familiar to Spencer. Whenever you were working on something that was not classified or very sensitive information, you had gotten special clearance from Hotch to bring it home. So Spencer has seen you write up preliminary profiles for cases around the country in nothing but your pajamas many times. 
Except he hasn’t seen you in just pajama shorts and a tank top since, well. 
He was supposed to be focusing on the desktop, and that is what he is going to do. 
“I really appreciate you coming over at like 10 pm, Spence. I really do. I’m sure you were busy, so I really appreciate it.”
He shook his head and looked over his shoulder at you. “It was no trouble, really. Besides.” He turned back to the screen with a cheeky grin across his face. “I know how you get when something breaks.” 
Your jaw dropped slightly, and you leaned against the kitchen counter. “Spencer. Are you…flirting with me…”
His face turned slightly red as he quickly faced the computer screen again. “And so what if I am,” he mumbled, focusing on the task at hand. He wasn’t sure how you managed to freeze your computer this badly, but he was determined to work it out. 
You shrugged and checked your phone, looking at the text from Emily that you had chosen to ignore. Maybe she told you not to ask Spencer over. Maybe she had warned against moving too quickly with anything. 
But you were a grown adult, you could make your own choices. You could—
“It’s, uh, it’s all fixed for you.” Spencer had stood up and was nervously fiddling with his hands. He hasn’t been like this towards you since you had both started dating over seven years ago. 
You bit your lip and casually turned your phone on DnD. 
“Thanks, Spence. I really appreciate it.” 
He nodded, doing his best to stop eying you up and down. 
The two of you stood there, unsure of how to continue on with one another. 
The tension was thick, almost like a humidity in the air that covered your skin and ruined your hair, just by stepping into it. 
Spencer eventually broke eye contact and wiped his hands on his pants. “Well, I’m going to uh…Have a good night.” He quickly grabbed his bag from the counter and shut the door behind him. 
Your hands dragged down your face as you sighed and shook your head. Maybe it was for the best that you two just stayed friends. Maybe it was for the best that you two never were in a relationship again. You remembered what happened last time. Maybe you should just finish the report and go to bed. Or maybe you should run after him. It wouldn’t be that embarrassing, considering he was staring back at you, right? 
Who said you didn’t deserve to make a bad decision every now and again. 
You grabbed your keys and slid on your slippers, not even bothering to grab a coat. You opened the door and came face to face with an out-of-breath Spencer just about to knock on your door. You took one look at each other. 
And that’s when he reached down and brought your lips to his. 
Emily reached over and gently handed you your vows.
“Fuck fuck fuck.” You whispered, causing everyone around you to laugh softly at you, desperately trying to stop crying. 
“I said I was going to try not to cry during his, and that obviously was not the case.” You slowly exhaled your lips, taking his hand and smiling up at him.
“Hey.” You whispered, causing him to whisper it back to you. “So–um. I wrote my vows a long time ago. Like, a while back. And I was looking for them and almost couldn’t find them. But I remembered that I had written them in that really small brown, leather journal thing that you got me for one of my birthdays that I kept losing because I always put it down and never remembered where.” 
The small, collected group laughed together, watching you turn the page in that small brown leather journal. 
“I didn’t know where I wanted to start when writing my vows. I knew how I wanted it to end, though. I’ve always known how I wanted my life to end and everything to go. So that’s what I did. I started at my endgame and worked my way backward. But shit happens, and life never goes according to plan. Never.” 
He squeezed your hand. 
Those weeks after were fucking brutal for you. 
Relaxing was something you were never fantastic at, so having to take two weeks off to recover from your concussion, burns, cuts, and bruises was excruciating. 
Maybe it would have been worse if a certain someone wasn’t basically living in your apartment with you, doing anything and everything to be there for you. 
You woke up to freshly brewed coffee, sometimes breakfast if he wasn’t away on a case. Sometimes, he’d be home in time to make you both dinner. It felt oddly domestic for you, reminding you of before Maeve, before everything that had gone down over the phone. 
Once the two weeks were over, he might have visited to check up on you. There would be nights where he would stay over just in case your head or back started to hurt again. It took more convincing for Spencer to let you go back to work than it did for your actual neurologist. 
“Need I remind you I’m a doctor too, Spencer. I’m going back to work on Monday, meaning two over one, majority rules.” 
Spencer scoffed and crossed his arms. “The lights will cause headaches, and staring at screens and files will only add to that. It’s a bad idea, y/n. Especially if we have to go somewhere, traveling across the country in a plane. You might as well knock yourself out because the air pressure would kill your head and ear drums.” 
“Always the one for dramatics, aren’t we.”
Spencer rolled his eyes. “I’m not being dramatic. I just care about your well-being, apparently more than you do—”
“Spence.”
“What.”
You kissed him softly. Just to shut him up. There were no ulterior motives. None. 
He hummed, hands sliding around your waist, keeping you close to him as you broke the kiss. 
That was another development you were keeping under wraps. The two of you might have decided to give it another shot. It had been over a month since you rejoined the BAU, and even before you got severely injured, Spencer had been doing everything he could to apologize. Whether that be his apologies or through his actions, he was stepping up. 
But both of you had yet to outright tell the others. Emily knew something was going on, especially when you showed up to work in the same outfit two days in a row, but she had assumed you had seen someone else, not your ex. 
You didn’t mind, though, when he took such good care of you when he bought you fresh flowers every week, when he kissed you past the point of breathing when he would—
“What are you thinking about?” Spencer whispered, interrupting whatever spiral you had started.
“What book I should read next.” 
“Liar.” He squeezed your sides, laughing softly and kissing you again. 
“There’s not much I can say about how life doesn’t go as planned since everyone here with us understands and knows how quickly life changes. But I realized that I need to have you by my side regardless of how it changes. I don’t want to be back in a place where I’m not with you because it just didn’t make any sense.” 
“My vows are short because I would never make it through them if they were any longer.” 
This caused another ripple of laughter throughout your friends, giving your fiancé a moment to wipe away another stray tear on your cheek. 
“All of this to say.” You cleared your throat, but it didn’t stop the tears from clouding your vision. “Shit. Give me a second.” 
Emily gave you a tissue, which you used to wipe under your eyes. You shook your hands slightly, trying to calm yourself down and shake out the rest of the emotions so that you could at least finish saying your vows. 
“Having begun to love you, I love you forever—in all changes, in all disgraces, because you are yourself.”
Spencer beamed joyfully, realizing you followed his same path, quoting something you knew the other loved. 
And suddenly, the stars aligned. A soft breeze picked up, and the world was quiet. 
Everything was alright. Everything was okay. 
And for that beautiful, brief moment, you had everything you could have ever asked for, and there was nothing you would have changed, nothing in the whole world that was worth the love and happiness you felt in this moment, beaming at Spencer as you both said
I do. 
“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
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Taglist: @gubzgirl @onlyspence @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @mynameisnotokay @kalulakunundrum @academiareid @lilsunshine1092 @brilliantreid @shqwqrma @cluelessteam @lockwoods-coat-and-reids-vests @hereforfun22-blog @yoursarahg @r-3dlips @lilrios-world @hereforfun22-blog @mega-kittyglitter-1
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corroded-hellfire · 1 year
Text
Jitters - Eddie Munson x Reader
An As You Wish story
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Collaboration with my darling @munson-blurbs
Summary: It's the first day of school for the Munson children--ever for Eliza, but their dad is being the biggest baby of them all.
Note: With all the back-to-school excitement going on I thought, "What would Eddie be like when Eliza first starts school?" So, voila. As always, I am so thankful for all of you who read and have the loveliest things to say 💕
Words: 3.2k
[As You Wish masterlist]
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If someone were to take bets on which Munson is the most miserable on the first day of school, they might pick Ryan. Sixteen years old, starting his junior year, and seemingly irritated by every move someone makes. 
They might pick fourteen-year-old Luke, the Tasmanian Devil himself, constantly lamenting about how boring his teachers are. 
Or they might pick Eliza, no longer getting to be the big fish in the daycare’s small pond, but now a full-fledged preschooler—one who is not happy about getting up early. 
Any of these would be fine guesses. But they would also be dead wrong. 
“My babies are all grown up!” Eddie bemoans, watching Eliza slide a comically oversized Little Mermaid backpack over her tiny shoulders. He stares at his sons as they shove their feet into their new sneakers, conveniently ignoring the repeated warnings not to break their shoes. 
Ryan catches his dad looking at them and rolls his eyes. “Take a picture; it’ll last longer,” he quips, groaning when Eddie dashes into the bedroom to grab his camera. “Crap, I didn’t mean literally.”
“Swear jar!” Luke chirps, all-too excited to catch his big brother slipping up. 
“‘Crap’ isn’t a swear word, dumbass.”
“Another dollar in the swear jar!” Luke roars, nearly colliding with the wall as he darts away from Ryan before the elder boy can get his hands on him. 
You give the two boys a biting glare from across the room. If you can't keep them from using bad language all the time, they at least need to adhere to the rule when their little sister is in the room. Luckily, Eliza is currently admiring her new black Mary Jane shoes and was paying no mind to what was happening around her. 
Before Ryan and Luke can start bickering again, you herd them over to the side of the living room where the lighting is the best for pictures. 
“Come on, come on,” you say as you practically push them across the space. “Dad’s getting the camera, let’s get this show on the road.” 
Ryan groans and drops his head back in irritation. “Can’t you just take some of Eliza? You have enough of us.”
“We never have enough of you,” you tell him, moving towards him on instinct to press a kiss to the top of his head—only to come face to face with the reminder that he’s taller than you now. “Eliza, come on over here, baby girl.”
Eliza looks up from where she’s now inspecting the pink overall dress she’s wearing. Her two curly little pigtails bounce with every motion. She hikes up her green sparkly princess backpack as she skips towards you. She becomes derailed, however, when Eddie walks back into the room. Eliza diverts her attention and makes a not-quite-a-surprise attack on his legs.
“Rawr! Gotchu Daddy!”
“Oh no!” Eddie feigns, clasping the camera to his chest. “I guess I can’t take you to preschool then, huh? Such a shame.”
“Nice try,” you tell him. “She’s still going.” 
Eddie’s brows furrow together in another one of the little pouts he’s been giving you for the past few days. He thinks his baby girl is growing up too fast—does he think you don’t feel the same way? You just don’t show your emotions as expressively as your husband does. 
“She’s only three,” Eddie says about your daughter. “Shouldn’t we wait until she’s at least four?”
“She’ll be four next month, Eddie,” you remind him. “This is when she’s supposed to start preschool.” 
The sullen father has nothing to say in response to that, so he just looks down at the camera and fiddles with it, making sure there’s enough film and that it’s on the right settings. You take the opportunity to walk over towards Ryan.
“Was he this bad when Luke started school?” you ask in a hushed voice. 
Ryan considers it for a moment before shrugging. “In my childhood mind, no. But I also used to believe it when Dad told me I’d look like Popeye if I ate my spinach, so who knows?”
“I can only imagine how he was with you.” With a small smirk, you grab Ryan’s arms and give him a small shake from side to side. “His first born,” you coo in a sickeningly sweet tone. Ryan shoos you away from him, but you can see the smile on his face that he’s trying his damndest to hide. 
In the meantime, Luke grabs a Kleenex box from the kitchen counter, lowering onto bended knee and presenting it to Eddie. 
“A gift for thou, Sir Sobs-a-Lot,” he says, adopting an exaggerated British accent. 
Eddie thumps him on the back of the head, but takes a tissue regardless. 
“Wayne always said I’d be screwed if my kids were as weird as me,” he muses. 
“Dad,” Luke fake-whines, “don’t say that about Eliza!”
Eliza furrows her little eyebrows and makes a run for her brother, charging towards him like a provoked rhinoceros. 
Luke is quicker, though, and holds her prisoner against his chest with a menacing cackle.  
“Mean brother,” Eliza mumbles, face smushed against him. 
He grins triumphantly. “That’s why you love me so much.” He presses a big smacking kiss to her cheek and lets her go, gasping in feigned offense when she wipes it away and wanders back to Eddie.
“Time for school! Let’s gooooooo, Daddy!” She takes his hand and tugs him towards the door, equal parts eager and exasperated. 
Eddie obliges, but you can tell that this isn’t easy for him. “Why is she so eager to leave?” he asks you under his breath. “Ryan and Luke were practically wrapped around my ankles begging me to let them stay home.”
“I think she’s just excited to meet new friends and learn new things!” you say with a smile, trying to hold back your own tears. “Isn’t that right, Liza Bean?”
Eliza nods vigorously. “Luke says I get Play-Doh!”
“Remember,” Luke crouches down to tell her, “it’s important that you taste the Play-Doh before you use it.”
The comment earns him another thump to the head from Eddie. 
“Please don’t eat Play-Doh,” you beg your daughter. Or listen to anything Luke says, you silently add. 
“Yeah, just stick to your lunch,” Ryan offers, always the voice of reason. 
“Lots of fruits and veggies,” Luke jumps in. “Remember why?”
“SCURVY!” Eliza proudly shouts, beaming from ear to ear. 
Eddie exhales and rubs the bridge of his nose, at a total loss for words. “Can you crazy children just take the pictures so we can go?” he finally manages, patience sufficiently worn thin. 
“Sir, yes, sir!” the boys salute in unison. 
“Yes, sir!” Eliza chimes in, happy to emulate her big brothers. 
You take the camera from Eddie when you see his jaw clench. You’d been afraid of your daughter having a meltdown today, but you obviously should have been worrying about her dad. 
“Okay,” you say, nodding for them to arrange themselves in front of the wall for a picture, “all three of you, first.” 
Begrudgingly on the part of the teenagers, and happily on the part of the little girl exiting toddlerhood, they come together and manage to stand still while you grab a few shots of them.
“Now just Ryan, then Luke, then Liza,” you instruct. Ryan rolls his eyes as his two younger siblings step away from him.
“This is never going to end,” he mumbles. 
Figuring it’s just easier to ignore him, you get your pictures of Ryan before moving on to solo Luke and then Eliza. “Now get in there, Dad,” you tell Eddie, gesturing him over to join the kids.
The moment Eddie is within reaching distance of her, Eliza raises her tiny arms to her father and insists that he holds her in the picture. Eddie, unable to deny her anything as always, complies. 
“Just me and Daddy!” Eliza says.
“Eliza’s will be done,” you say before snapping one of just the pair of them.
“All right, all right,” Luke says, motioning for you to give him the camera. “You get in there, too. We’ve got a monumental day here. Another Munson in the school system.”
As you pose next to your daughter and husband, you see Ryan out of the corner of your eye. He leans in behind you and holds up two fingers as bunny ears behind Eliza’s head. His little sister didn’t see him, but she was going to get a kick out of that once you got the pictures developed. Luke also noticed the photobomber, so he takes another nicer picture. 
“We ready to go now?” Luke asks. “Big day for me too, ya know. Starting high school and all. No one’s all fussy over me and I bet it’s because I don’t have pigtails. Damn.”
Eddie claps Luke on the shoulder as you take the camera from your son. “Didn’t wanna make ya nervous, kid,” Eddie says. “Also, dollar in the swear jar.”
Luke scoffs and presses a hand to his chest. “Have I ever been nervous a day in my life?” 
“Well,” Ryan starts with a smug smile, “that depends if you count the time that you got paired up with Missy Collins for that science project.”
Luke’s face turns pink and his nostrils flare. You’re almost taken aback because you think this is the most flustered you’ve ever seen the usually cool and mischievous boy. Luke goes from standing perfectly still to lunging toward his older brother in milliseconds. 
Ryan just lets out a whooping laugh and dodges him by heading outside. Luke is hot on his tail.
Eliza looks up at you and shakes her head, little brown pigtails swaying with the motion. 
“Boys,” she says, an air of sophistication older than her three years in her tone. 
“Boys,” you agree, offering her your hand. Her little fingers slide into your own and you head out the front door behind the two teenagers. Eddie grabs his keys and follows his family out. 
The keys jingle in your husband’s hand, a nervous tic as he walks over to the car and unlocks it. The three kids pile into the back and Eliza and Luke bicker over buckling her car seat as you slip into the passenger’s side.
“Everyone have everything?” Eddie asks as soon as the arguing stops. “Backpacks? Lunches? Or lunch money?”
A chorus of “yes” comes from the backseat so Eddie starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, instantly wishing he could turn around and take everyone back home.
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You, Eddie, and Eliza somehow arrive at the preschool on time, but not before your daughter had thoroughly embarrassed her brothers on the high school drop-off line. She’d begged Eddie to roll down her window so she could yell to them as they joined their friends. 
“Bye, Ryan! Bye, Lukie!” she’d shouted. “I love you!” 
You and Eddie thought it was hilarious. Luke and Ryan? Not so much. 
But now, your husband is a total wreck as Eliza marches full steam ahead towards the school’s doors. Truthfully, you’re almost as bad as he is, but you’re trying to keep it together—for Eliza’s sake and for Eddie’s. 
“You ready, Eliza?” You crouch down and place your hands on her shoulders. 
“Yep!” She nods, baby teeth on full display when she grins excitedly.  
Eddie narrows his eyes in disbelief. “Are you sure?” he asks, making you roll your eyes. 
“Yep!” Eliza repeats; thankfully, she’s oblivious to his inner turmoil. 
“You’re going to have a great time and make lots of new friends,” you tell her. 
“And I’ll be right here, ready to pick you up when it’s over,” Eddie adds as he crouches down next to you.
It takes all your strength not to roll your eyes again or elbow Eddie in the ribs.  
Eliza nods her head, little pigtails bouncing with the movement. She hikes her backpack up higher and gives you both another wide smile. 
“Ready to go in?” you ask. 
“Uh huh.”
You take her hand and she leads you into her new classroom, Eddie following along behind you. He’s quite literally dragging his feet, a human version of Eeyore the donkey. 
A teacher, not too much younger than you, comes up to greet you all. “Hi, everyone!” she chirps in a tone that signals over-caffeination. “Welcome to preschool! I’m Miss Riley, your teacher.”
For the first time this morning, Eliza seems hesitant. She looks up at you for approval and you nod your head at her. 
“I’m Eliza Marie Munson,” she announces, and you bite back a laugh at her formality. 
“It’s very nice to meet you, Eliza,” Miss Riley says. “You’ve got both Mommy and Daddy with you here today, huh?”
“Yep! Was just gonna be Daddy but then Mommy said she didn’t think he’d really take me here.” 
You squeeze your lips together as your daughter calls out your husband’s behavior; Eddie closes his eyes, a small smile appearing on his face. Both of you know (partially due to your experiences with Luke and Ryan when they were younger) that anything that went on in your house that Eliza knew about would be fair game to be shared with her whole class. 
“Well, I’m very glad you’re here,” Miss Riley replies, holding a hand out for a high-five that your daughter eagerly returns. “Would you like me to show you where your cubby is?”
“Okay!” Eliza turns around and waves to you and Eddie.  “Bye Mommy! Bye Daddy!”
“No hugs?” Eddie asks, a pout forming on his plush lips.
Eliza rolls her eyes as if this is the most unreasonable request she’s ever heard, but obliges. 
You give her a tight squeeze, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You’re gonna have an amazing day, baby girl,” you remind her. 
“I know, Mommy.”
Eddie’s hug can only be described as bone-crushing, with Eliza letting out a dramatic grunt as he holds her. 
“Eliza Munson, you are the smartest, bravest little girl I know,” he says, voice catching in his throat. “I want you to go out there and kick some a—butt,” he hurriedly amends, but not before earning a glare from you. 
“Most importantly, be nice,” you emphasize, hoping your advice trumps Eddie’s little half-time pep talk. 
“I will!” Eliza happily declares before following Miss Riley over to the cubbies.
Eddie looks back and forth from her to you. “That’s it?” he asks. “That’s all we get?”
“What did you want?” you ask as you slip your hand into your husband’s. “Want her to cry and beg you to take her back home?”
“Well, no.” At your disbelieving eyebrow raise Eddie shrugs and amends his statement. “Not entirely.”
“We got hugs and goodbyes,” you point out. “Ryan barely acknowledged us, and Luke gave you a Wet Willy. I think we should cut our losses.”
“I know,” Eddie says, letting out a defeated sigh.
You gently tug him in the direction of the door to exit. “She’ll be fine,” you reassure him with a whisper. “And she’ll be so excited to tell you all about it later.”
Eddie nods, and just as the two of you are about to walk out the door, something rams into Eddie’s legs. He looks down to see Eliza grinning up at him, little arms wrapped around his knees.  
“What’s up, Sweet Pea?” he asks, suddenly worried that something’s wrong. Was someone mean to her? Did she forget her lunch at home?
She jumps like a little jumping bean until she’s right in front of the two of you. 
“I love you!”
Your heart swells and the pressure of tears is heavy behind your eyes. There’s no way you can look at Eddie because clocking his emotion will absolutely send you over the edge. 
Eddie’s already tearing up though and has a bright smile on his face. “We love you too, Liza Bean,” he tells her. “So much.”
She giggles and you scoop her up in your arms. “We love you more than anything.”
You and Eddie press kisses to her cheeks at the same time, and Eddie blows a raspberry with his, making her giggle. 
Once you set her down, Eliza blows you both a kiss before skipping over to a table where a few kids are drawing, already settling in. 
Eddie wipes at his eyes as the two of you step out of the classroom and into the hall. “That’s what I wanted,” he admits with a tearful chuckle. 
You wrap your arms around one of Eddie’s and lay your head on his shoulder. “You okay?” you ask him.
“No.” He sighs when you press a reassuring kiss against his shoulder. “I’m just trying to keep it together for your sake,” he says.
At his words, you pull away to look at him, eyebrows raised. “This was you holding it together?” you ask. 
“Oh, this could’ve been way worse, babe.”
You chuckle as he slips his hand into yours, knowing that he’s likely telling the truth. 
The two of you take one last look inside the classroom and see Eliza talking and laughing with a little girl and boy at her table. 
“Come on,” you say, patting the back of Eddie’s hand with your free one. 
With a reluctant sigh, Eddie starts to walk with you towards the exit. 
“And I know Miss Riley is younger than me but don’t get any ideas.” You smirk and nudge his shoulder with your own, trying to joke around and cheer him up a bit.
Eddie puts his hands up in defense. “Hey, she’s a teacher. I only go for babysitters.”
The late summer morning is hot as you make the journey back to your car. Still the gentleman as always, Eddie opens your door for you. 
“Man,” he shakes his head as you slip into the passenger’s seat. “I can’t believe my baby is in preschool.” 
He closes your door and walks around to his side, giving you time to open your purse and pull out a small object, hiding it beneath your hands in your lap. He starts the car, though you’re fairly certain your heartbeat is louder than the engine. 
“Well,” you start before clearing your throat. Eddie looks over at you and there’s suddenly a million butterflies not only in your stomach, but throughout your whole body. “She’s not going to be the baby for long…”
You hand Eddie the test, watching as his expression shifts from sadness to confusion to awe as he stares at the two pink lines. 
“You’re pregnant?” The excitement in his voice rivals that of a kid on Christmas morning.
“I’m pregnant,” you confirm, grinning with your own excitement. The emotions that you've been trying to corral all day finally come out, relief and giddiness flowing through you as you tell your husband what you've been dying to amongst all the other chaos of the day.  
Eddie lunges across the center console to wrap you up in his arms, letting the positive test drop into his lap. “Holy shit, princess.”
“I know,” you say with a giggle.
Eddie’s still in shock, grinning from ear to ear and rubs his hands over his face. “We’re gonna have another baby,” he says, just to hear it aloud. 
“And just think,” you say, “you get to do this first day of preschool thing again.”
His nose wrinkles at that prospect. “Maybe I’ll just homeschool this one.”
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