#i feel like so many atheists want to turn EVERYONE atheist and it’s like???? you think christans are trying to do the same thing and hate

[bumpscosity]

​atheists will complain abt religious ppl judging them for being atheist and then judge others for being religious

[these-posts-arent-real]

Oh StarClan... your dash has turned into warrior cats again.

#sorry <3 #this one has parts that are based off of that #one post rhats like "if there were cat-people #do you think calico tboys would try to dye over their patches"

2 notes

🔁 🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow reblogged

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

Me & Night (my mate)!!!

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

:O Kip's mate has finally been revealed!!! And his name is Night? Cooool.

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

Yeah haha. Technically his full name is Night Hunter, Bringer of Darkness, but it feels so weirdly formal calling him that, so I usually stick to just Night.

#life #kittypet #collar tw #cw collars #id in alt text

8,504 notes

🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow

I find it really funny when I see cats on here vaguepost about big blogs. Like cmon mouse-brain everyone here knows who you're talking about. Just say their name.

#this is about that one mommy blogger shitting on kipper the kittypet #btw #in case some of you couldnt tell #would be funny if it wasnt so stupid

12 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

Hahaaaaa.... my mother found out ive been slowly dyeing my ginger patches black...

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

Why would you do that??? Being a tortie is so cool, I wish I had ginger patches! They're so pretty, why do you want to get rid of them???

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

Uhm. Gender dysphoria??

Like. I know cis male tortoiseshells exist but they're so rare that most cats take one look at me and go "oh, tortie, must be a girl" and that hurts.

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

OH STARCLAN im so sorry Rot i wasnt even thinking about you being trans, I probably sounded really insensitive... I do understand what you're saying now.

Didn't even ask, how did your mom take it? Does she know why?

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

You're fine <3 I get it. And no, she uh.. has no clue why I did it, she thinks I'm in my "emo phase" or something.

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Uhh unrelated but what do you use to dye your fur?? Asking for... science...

#"science" meaning i am also a tortie tboy #well technically i'm calico but ykwim

46 notes

🔁 🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow reblogged

🦢 gentlesong-momof17 Follow

I can't be the only one here who thinks it's unfair to allow kittypets on this site. Posting pictures of themselves and their mates inside of the twolegplace, influencing the young kits on this site to abandon their Clans... surely everyone else sees the problem with this as well.

This is Clanblr, not "Kittypetblr". This was specifically made as a space for Clan cats to connect, not for kittypets to push their lifestyle on us.

They're going to convince our kits to abandon their home and their belief in StarClan just for a more secure life.

#EXACTLY #I only recently found out ex-tc Kipper was a kittypet #it was so upsetting to me because i've always loved his wood-scratch art #to find out he's a clan-abandoner was so saddening

2,447 notes

🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

The recent drama surrounding Kipper the Kittypet is sad and I hate that he's being bashed just for existing, but it's also incredibly stupid. I believe the cat who wrote the original post said something like, "it's CLANblr, not KITTYPETblr," and then something about belief in StarClan and I just... do you even realize how many Clanblr mods are non-Clan and/or don't believe in StarClan?

To name a few, @s-t-a-r-burning is former WindClan now rogue & openly an atheist, @theshadowhaseyes has been a kittypet his whole life, and @ssuunnrraayy-p has made zir entire blog about how ze travels from one Clan to another & doesnt consider zimself a Clan cat. Those are all mods. "It's clanblr no-" shut up. Just shut up.

245 notes

🧷 name-lists-by-theme

Theme: Water

as always, these work as either part of your name, but they are intended as the first part!

-Abyss

-Bay

-Bog

-Cove

-Creek

-Current

-Dew

-Fog

-Lagoon

-Lake

-Marsh

-Mist

-Pond

-Pool

-Puddle

-Rain

-Shallow

-Sleet

-Spray

-Splash

-Storm

-Stream

-Torrent

Keep reading

383 notes

🐱 berrrrry-o Follow

I think a lot of cats put way too much emphasis on the parts of the warrior code that dont matter, and forget the parts that do, like "feed elders and kits first" and "never neglect a kit in pain or danger"... I feel like those are significantly more important than "a warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet," but maybe that's just me.

#berry yaps #I'm irritated by the kittypet drama going on on this site

16 notes

🔁 🛤 carnation-stem-02 Follow reblogged

🔲 sag3-chas3s-squirr3ls-deactivated

I feel like we don't talk enough about how SkyClan got chased out of their own territory during a time of crisis rather than all of the Clans trying to make room for everyone...

I mean, seriously. I know it's taught to all SkyClan apprentices, but I've talked to some of my friends from other Clans and they just. Didn't know that. They were never taught that the other Clans allowed SkyClan to be chased out due to territory loss.

🔲 sstep-xoxo-deactivated

:/ im pretty sure the whole thing about skclan being kicked out of their territory is just a conspiracy theory

🔲 sag3-chas3s-squirr3ls-deactivated

Imagine trying to tell a cat that they don't know their own Clan's history 💀

#ohh i finally found it again #that 1 fucker trying to say that skyclan's history is a "conspiracy theory"

20,056 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

:/ I do not like being stuck on the wrong site.

[yanderepuck]

@lulu-the-smol-floof and I spent like 2 hours talking about the religions the guys were, so we looked it all up just to be sure. There are so many more arguments happening

Napoleon: was baptized into the Catholic faith as a child, however, he never became engrossed in the faith

Mozart: Catholic (and fairly religious)

Leonardo: more than likely Catholic. He referred to God as a supreme being. Could also be called a spiritual metaphysician.

Vincent: Protestant (father was priest, also nearly was a priest)

Theo: Protestant (father was priest)

Arthur: Catholic turned atheist(after studying medicine) then got interested in the occult.

Isaac: Born into an Anglican family, by his thirties held a Christian faith. Saw worshipping Christ as God was idolatry, to him the fundamental sin.

Jean: Catholic

Will: Protestant

Dazai: Christian but in the way that God is a punisher (in game possibly more Shinto since we see him in shrines)

Comte: He believes...in something

Sebastian: atheist but superstitious

Vlad: Eastern Roman Orthodox Catholic (going off Vlad in Impaler)

Faust: Protestant (was banned from churches tho)

Charles: Catholic

Drake: Protestant

Galileo: Roman Catholic (supported the church and hoped the church would support him, spoiler alert: they didn't)

~~

Fun lil thoughts now

Jean and Mozart are the only ones who go to church every Sunday.

Because here Leonardo is a pureblood, I think that maybe for a hot moment he was religious but very quickly turned his back on that.

Theo is SOOOOO mad that the three he hates the most are the only other Protestants. He's stuck with Will Faust and Drake.

Will actually grew up in the Church of England, which was possibly more Roman Catholic but when you look at his writing it reflects Protestant more.

Best part is that Faust is Protestant but Vlad has him working in a Catholic church. Vlad doesn't know the difference. Faust gives all his sermons in German and they aren't even sermons. He just bitches about this and gives out recipes, but Mozart is literally the only one who knows

Faust: I fucking hate this city. It's so dirty

Mozart: he's so right

Now bc they lean into Drake being more of a pirate, I don't think this man has much religion to him. He sticks to the pirate code. But I feel like if you showed him a sign of God he'd believe you.

Okay so Dazai. When we first talked about this we couldn't really find anything (I was honestly doing a quick Google search, not a deep dive), so we said he's probably Shinto, at least in game since we see him in shrines in some cgs. @tako-cafe informed me that he was first communist (when growing up) and then Christian, but int he way that God is here to punish/torture us bc humans themselves are sin and cannot escape it.

Arthur went atheist once he discovered science basically.

Isaac is actually right with the idolizing thing. It's actually blasphemous to have depictions of Jesus on a cross, or having a place dedicated to God. But that part sort of got lost bc obvs churches don't want you to know that. Also, he's just a god fearing man.

Isaac: going to church is a sin

Jean, across the room: ITS WHAT

That being said, Christmas Day, aka Isaac's birthday, Isaac and Arthur are the only ones at the mansion in the morning.

Dazai is going bc they have snacks. Sebastian is going because ..well.. we shouldn't trust them all to behave.

Back to Dazai. If we stick with him being Shinto, everyone in the mansion finds it weird as hell. Sebastian has to tell them that "no. This is actually the religion, not just weird things Dazai does"

Meanwhile Dazai is like "I need to go feed the frogs goldfish so that we have good weather"

Oh? Comte? Yeah. He believes. In what? He believes

Also, keep in mind that even tho that most of them are Catholic, they are all from different countries and time periods where being Catholic meant different things.

[rhey-007]

The Family Leclerc

Charles Leclerc x reader x Pierre Gasly

Summary: Agreeing to do Charles a favor turns into hell when you meet his family for the first time and proceed to spend Christmas with them as his fake girlfriend.

(Based on "The Family Stone")

A/N: It's a LONG one just so y'know. I recently saw "The Family Stone" for the first time (LOVED IT, you have to watch it, I think I cried like 5 times lol) and an idea for this fic just randomly popped up in my brain shortly after. I've been writing this for past 2 weeks and finished it just yesterday. I hope you'll like it :)) I also wish everyone happy Christmas or whatever you're celebrating! 🎄🎉

Warnings/Tags: female reader, vegetarian reader, Atheist reader, toxic family, orphan reader - basically reader is op 😅, family fluff, toxic Pascale, mentions of sex

Wordcount: 9465

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

You never thought you’d ever find yourself pretending to be Charles' girlfriend. Yet there you were, getting out of his car seeing his whole family curiously looking at you through the window. You’ve known the Monegasque for a few years already and befriended him almost immediately but never met his family. That’s why you were the first person who came to his mind when his mother mentioned bringing a girl over for Christmas. His family was tormenting him about a partner for too long, so to make them calm down he asked you for this favor, even offering you money which you didn’t accept.

The house Charles rented in Austria was quite big, big enough to accommodate the 9 of you. It was made out of wood, with a forest near by and a great view at the mountains. It literally took your breath away. Although you felt a little uneasy feeling six pairs of eyes as the two of you made your way to the door.

“Don’t let them walk over you... They might be a little... Possessive and overprotective of me...”

The man explained ringing the doorbell and soothing your back with a smile. You had to admit you felt a little nervous. Heck REALLY nervous. You've heard so many things about them on your way there, some positive and some negative. Well... Mostly negative, but just because Charles wanted you to get ready for the chaos.

“Charlie!”

His mother appeared in the door a few seconds after, hugging her precious baby tightly and shooting you a glare.

“Hi mom, this is Y/N. I told you she’ll join us”

Charles disclosed before you greeted his mother with a firm handshake. You walked inside, the man instantly helping you with your coat, then introduced you to the rest.

“Y/N those are my brothers Lorenzo and Arthur. This beauty is Carla, Arthur’s one and only. And last but not least - Carlos and his girlfriend Rebecca, family close friends. Guys this is Y/N”

You smiled cutely at the 5 and hugged them gently before Charles and Arthur left to get your suitcases and Carla showed you the room you would stay in.

“Is everything alright?”

The girl asked soon, noticing you playing with your fingers uneasily. You shook your head with a soft smile. You couldn’t tell her you expected to sleep in a different room than Charles, could you? You both would feel uncomfortable as you were just friends in reality, but maybe in this skit you had to commit to the role a little bit more.

In meanwhile Arthur initiated a conversation with his older brother about you, who didn’t really like it.

“Really? This is her?”

The younger one asked taking out your bag from the trunk.

“What do you mean?”

Charles huffed slowly getting angry. From his whole family Arthur always seemed the most tolerant, but what he was about to hear changed Charles’ opinion completely.

“Come on man! Can’t you see it?! She’s just a bimbo falling for you money!”

“What did you just say?”

The older growled gripping Arthur’s collar and pulling close to himself. The vain on his forehead was about to pop and his face was all red as his gaze pierced through his brother. No one could say such gross things about you, especially not in his presence.

“Don’t you dare disrespect her like that”

He hissed letting his brother go and walking back inside with your bag. After they brought them upstairs, Charles dismissed Carla and Arthur before closing the door and sighing heavily.

“Charles?...”

You said quietly, sitting on his bed and playing with the hem of your beige golf sweater. He turned around to you and sat down beside. His hand rested on your thigh soothing it gently while he looked at you with an asking expression.

“So uh... I-I was hoping for a room for my own... I-I don’t know like a guest room or something... If that’s not a problem of course...”

Bitting your lip softly you looked down and felt the man’s hand stop. Was he disappointed? Yes. Did he expect that? Also yes. He exhaled gripping your limb.

“I can sleep on the floor, it’s not a pro-”

“What! No! It’s your room. I should be the one sleeping on the floor if there’s no free one! ”

You cut him off and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

“I can ask mom. I’m sure we’ll find something free. Now come on, let’s go eat something”

You followed the man downstairs to the dining room where Pascale and Rebecca set the table. When you eagerly offered your help the older woman completely ignored you, she didn’t even know you well enough to draw conclusions but apparently she already drew them on the porch. You wondered why though. Were you dressed improperly? If you could even call a beige sweater and black jeans an improper outfit... Maybe it was your makeup that alienated her from you. But you only wore mascara, some soft blush and lip oil...

Maybe it was Charles. Too perfect to have and don’t have a second half. Or maybe it was just Pascale hoping he would bring home someone she knew, someone she hooked him up with. You had no idea but had to know to improve your image in the older woman’s eyes and play the role of her child’s girlfriend better.

Once the table was ready, everyone sat down and said a brief pray – even though you weren’t Chistian you respected their beliefs and joined in the little act. By the time everyone started to eat you noticed your portion was just the same as everyone else’s – meatballs in tomato sauce with delicious puree and caesar salad - although you made sure Charles informed his mother you were vegetarian. You decided not to inform her by the dinner table, instead wanting to talk about it later in the kitchen alone but the blonde initiated the conversation herself when she noticed you pushing the meat aside.

“Is something wrong?”

She asked to which you didn’t respond at first, too occupied by staring at the plate. Charles’ poke got you out of trance and made look at his mother.

“Oh! Uh... N-No, everything’s alright. Why?”

“You didn’t touch the meatballs...”

The woman furrowed her eyebrows while you shrunk in your seat.

“Well uh... I-I don’t eat meat-”

Pascale burst out laughing not letting you finish your sentence, her kids following with faint chuckles, except of Charles.

“Mom, I told you million times...”

“But I didn’t thought you were serious! That’s just ridiculous! How can you live without eating meat? No wonder you look so weak”

You looked back down at your plate, not wanting to argue with her. Her words and laugh hurt you a tad, but Charles warned you she might be critical.

“Look at me when I talk to you-”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you miss but that’s who I am and you’re not gonna change that. I’m sure the meat is tasty, just as the rest, but I won’t eat it nonetheless”

You snaped not being able to hold yourself back anymore. No woman should disrespect another woman. Your words brought a smile to Charles’ lips, he was proud of you for stepping up for yourself as you never really did that, always being a shy mouse.

“I'm also not Christian but respect your beliefs and joined in your pray. So it would only be fair if you respected my eating habits- Or what I should rather call eating disorder because I am in fact deathly allergic to meat”

Pascale scoffed as if she was offended by your statement.

“That's an absurd-“

“Mom can we talk? “

Charles cut in, pointing his head towards the kitchen as he stood up. The woman rolled her eyes and followed after her son.

“Who the hell did you brought!? A vegetarian. Not a Christian. Tell me she's also a man! Or maybe she is a widow, huh? Oh Charlie, Charlie... You could do way better... “

Pascale grabbed Charles’ arms and was about to shook him when he shrugged her hands off and took a step back.

“Don't. Don't touch me. I told you she's a vegetarian. I told you so many times but of course you didn't listen. Why do you have such a problem!? You don't even know her yet! You always told me you'll respect whoever I bring home, even a man, yet you deny your words now!”

“I just want the best for my little boy... “

“I'm not your little boy anymore! I'm a grown ass man and I'll date whoever I want. Either you like them or not. So deal with it! “

Charles hissed before leaving the kitchen and joining you back in the dining room. He huffed angrily, flopping down beside you and continuing to eat without a word. An uncomfortable silence fell since he left that lasted until the end of the meal.

You felt responsible for ruining the moods of Leclerc's, especially their mother, but what else were you supposed to do? You couldn’t let anyone disrespect you like that and laugh into your face for your beliefs. After the dinner you locked yourself up in Charles' room.

“Well... That went great... “

You sighed flopping down onto his bed and whining loudly.

“Yeah... Amazing... “

The Monegasque nodded sitting down beside you.

“I'm sorry... I should have said I'm just not hungry. Maybe she would’ve let it go earlier then”

You said turning to your side and looking up at him. Smiling down at you, he brushed your hair away from your face and gazed a little too long before responding.

“It's okay... She would have to find out sooner or later... I'm sorry too. Didn’t expect she would be so possessive already... “

Charles layed down and turned his head to you, his hand grabbing yours and squeezing it gently. If he knew his mother would be THAT critical he wouldn’t have taken you with him. He cared for you too much to want to see you hurt, but his mom was too impossible to foresee even for him to predict that. He just wished that after that week you would still like to be friends with him... Maybe even more if the situation settles down and everyone calms down.

“Go take a shower and relax a little... I'll go find some mattress and set everything up... It'll be better for you to stay here. We don’t want another fight do we? “

You chuckled a little shaking your head and got up. Although you still preffered to sleep in another room, you didn’t want another quarrel with Pascale.

“This is gonna be an interesting week... “

You said before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving Charles alone with his thoughts. How was he going to convince his family and friends to like you, when the head of his family already hated you? He had no idea but had to come up with something soon, or else the Christmas would be ruined.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Next day an excited and loud array of voices woke you up. You grumbled turning your back to the door and looking down at the floor where Charles previously slept. The mattress he layed on now cold with sheets neatly displayed on top, which meant he must have left quite a long time ago. You got up hearing the man in question call you and rubbed your eyes softly while leaving the room. Stumbling down the stairs your eyes felt heavy and with one too long blink you found yourself falling down, someone catching you quickly before you hit the floor.

“Are you okay?”

A male voice said, hot breath fanning your face and a smell of fresh mint, cedarwood and cinnamon hit your nostrils. When you opened your eyes you noticed it wasn’t Charles who caught you, the Monegasque standing beside you and the stranger holding your arm firmly.

“I-I’m okay... I just woke up and uh... I-I'm sorry...”

You mumbled pulling away from the handsome man that held you, now able to take a better look at him. He was almost as tall as Charles, had blue hipnotizing eyes, full pink lips and a gorgeous smile.

“Y/N this is Pierre, another friend of the family”

Charles introduced you to one another as you shook your hands. You had to admit the man was really handsome, even more than your ‘boyfriend’, making your eyes unable to tear away from him. Pierre smirked noticing you stare at which you blushed softly and looked away sheepishly. If he had to be honest, if not Charles he would’ve try to pick you up right there and then. You were a really beautiful gal, your ginger hair looked so smooth the only thing he wanted was to play with them the whole day, your green eyes shined like if you had stars in them and the soft freckles across your face complimented them so well.

“Look who woke up... Our sleeping beauty...”

Pascale scoffed seeing the three of you walk into the kitchen.

“Welcome Pierre”

She cooed giving the man a tight hug and a kiss to his cheek. You figured he was like a son to her, actually her favourite child as you later found out.

“Long time no see ma. How have you been? You happy with Charlie’s new girlfriend?”

He teased looking at you at which you just rolled your eyes pouring yourself a cup of warm coffee and ignoring the older woman’s response.

“Oh her? Please... He could’ve done waaay better!”

“What, why? Y/N’s a really beautiful girl and I bet she’s smart too”

The French tried to defend you but it was useless.

“She’s vegetarian. Says she’s deathly allergic to meat but I feel like that’s just a lie... And she’s not Christian. Sooner or later she’ll make my little boy convert!”

She whispered to Pierre, loud enough for you to hear.

“That’s it? Oh good thing she’s not a man!”

He joked with a loud laugh before stepping away and joining everyone by the table. You enjoyed your dark liquid sitting by Charles, his arm wrapped around your waist squeezing it from time to time as he conversed with his siblings, Carlos and Pierre. You observed the group carefully, sometimes looking at Pascale.

From what you’ve caught Carlos and Rebecca seemed the most unproblematic, which didn’t mean they didn’t talk about you behind your back, Lorenzo was the quiet one, not really joining in the conversation prefering to read his book and eat in peace, while Pierre, Charles and Arthur were the triplets of chaos with Carla and Pascale being their tamers.

You didn’t fit in with that family at all, always feeling their judging stares on yourself especially with Charles glued to your side. But there was one gaze except of his that felt different. Pierre didn’t judge your every step, his eyes were full of either admiration or sympathy whenever you looked at him, always ready to help if you needed it.

Leclerc also noticed his best friend’s weird interest in you but as much as you didn’t care he did. He felt jealous seeing him watch you with heartful eyes, touch you whenever he had a chance, constantly talk to you, and you only knew each other for a day! Charles’ gut wrenched at those moments, wanting to tear the man apart.

But why did he care so much? You were just friends after all. But he didn’t consider you just a friend. You were more, his whole world, a person he couldn’t live without. He knew that since you’ve met, trying to find a perfect moment to confess his feelings, wanting to do this on Christmas Eve.

That was also another reason why he asked you to pretend his girlfriend in front of his family. But with Pierre on his way... It would be hard. Especially if you felt too comfortable with the French man and told him the truth, then he wouldn’t hold back anymore and wrap you around his finger immediately and Charles couldn’t let that happen.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

After yet another unpleasant dinner you left to pick a Christmas tree and finish up buying presents. It was a little tradition of Leclerc’s to pick the tree all together and you felt glad they wanted you to join them, at least Charles and Pierre did. You strode through the main square holding Charles’ hand and admiring the Christmas market.

Pierre walked by your other side, getting envious every time the Monegasque pressed a kiss to either part of your body or pulled you slightly away from him. He wished he could be the one to bring you to that beautiful place on a date, to have you all for himself, for you to be his... But you weren’t and instead Pierre had to pretend he was happy for you and his best friend and it was really hard at times.

“Come on kids! Faster! The queue is already forming!”

Pascale shouted from a few meters away as she turned around and saw your group getting distracted by the various stalls.

“Queue for what?”

You’ve asked the boys, confusion clearly painted on your face.

“Santa”

They responded in unison rushing you over to the rest.

“Santa? Aren’t you too old?”

“Naaah. We’re gonna get a family picture with him. It’s another of our traditions”

Pierre cleared out with a huge smile. As you waited the two men told you about and showed you every picture from previous years, making fun of little Arthur always crying sitting on Santa’s lap.

Tears slowly started to fill your eyes at the cute stories, but you’ve managed to blink them away quickly so neither men noticed them. You wished you could’ve had such a childhood, full of fun, family and love but you guessed it wasn’t meant to be. At least now you could have some fun, even though the majority of the family hated you.

When your turn came you positioned yourself freely, you stood on the right in front of the boys almost right next to Santa, but Pascale felt like something was wrong and started to rearrange everyone. Eventually Carlos, Rebecca and Lorenzo landed on the left, Arthur and Carla sat on the old man’s laps – just as always, she took your place in front of her two favourites and you stood next to Charles almost getting cut out of the picture.

Nonetheless the photo came out great and you were happy you received one of the copies. After meeting Santa you went to pick the tree and then everyone scattered to buy presents. Charles left with Pierre, the Spaniard with his girlfriend, Pascale with the youngest and you were left with Lorenzo.

“So uh... I-I guess we’re the only ones left...”

You muttered and the man nodded. You stood in the middle of the square in complete silence until he spoke up.

“Listen uh... I asked Charlie to leave us cause I wanted to talk with you. I hope you’re not mad...”

Lorenzo looked down and started to play with his finger nervously. You started to think of all the things he could want to talk with you about but what you were about to hear shocked you.

“Oh um... As long as you won’t offend me like the rest of your family does I won’t”

“I won’t. I promise. But- Can we go to a café?”

You agreed with a quiet sigh then followed the man. He brough you to a simple but full of Christmas atmosphere café and after you ordered some mulled wine and cookies he started.

“I wanted to talk about Charles...”

“What about him?”

The man hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling it.

“I’ve talked with him about you... I wanted to know what plans he has for the future and if he sees you there with him. He said he loves you so much that he would try his best to persuade mom to give him our grandma’s engagement ring after the holidays... I shouldn’t tell you this but I just need to know... Do you want to have a future with Charles or are you, what Arthur calls you, just a bimbo falling for his money?...”

Your face went pale at the information. You hoped Charles said it just for your skit to be more convincing but the way Lorenzo said it, all serious and without any emotions on his face, started to worry you. Trying to gather your thoughts your eyes closed and palms turned into tight fists, something you always did when thinking hard.

“Hey relax... I-It's just a question... I didn’t mean to stress you out...”

The oldest Leclerc grabbed your hands and rubbed his thumbs along them. It actually helped you relax and think of a suitable answer.

“I don’t get me wrong... I love your brother with my whole hear. I really do. But I can’t tell you if I’d say yes to his proposal. I usually don’t think about the future, just living in the moment y’know?”

Lorenzo nodded understandingly. It seemed like you’ve managed to convince him it was true, but started to feel bad for constantly lying to them, especially since Lori seemed like a really nice guy. You’ve chatted for some time when eventually he apologized for his actions.

“I also wanted to apologise for my behavior... I usually don’t act like that but as you might have noticed out mother's influence is too heavy. Nonetheless I know I did wrong offending you like the others and I'm sorry once again. Seeing my brother so happy while with you made me understand that he actually loves you and that you aren’t as bad as mom is painting you... I hope you'll be able to forgive me one day... “

You smiled softly at the man and his genuine apology. You were really glad that at least one of them apologized to you and couldn’t be mad at him.

“It's okay I forgive you”

While you conversed, Pierre and Charles run around the square looking for a perfect gift for you.

“Oh man... Couldn’t you buy something in Monaco?!”

The Frenchman sighed as they entered yet another store. This time it was a jeweler full of gorgeous sets and classy watches.

“You know well I had no time. Besides, I don’t even know what she likes. I specifically insisted on entering the market from this alley so I could see if her eyes would shine after she notices something-”

“But they didn’t. How can you not know what she likes!? She’s your girlfriend!”

“I’m not sure, okay? I want it to be something unique”

Pierre nodded and soon they started to look for something that would match your vibe. Finally the Frenchman chose a gentle, soft pink butterfly set he noticed you look at as you passed the store, later surprised Charles didn’t notice it too, while the Monegasque opted for something more bold – a silver necklace with an emerald and matching earrings. Now they just had to choose which one Charles was going to buy.

“The green matches her eyes and hair”

“But it’s too heavy for her. The butterflies perfectly match her gentle aura”

“But they’re so small and light you wouldn’t see them on her fair skin...”

Eventually Charles bought what he choose himself. Little did he know that the next day Pierre came back to buy you the set he picked. He was a 100% sure you would like his present way more than Charles’.

Was it weird he bought such an expensive gift for his best friend’s girlfriend? Maybe, but he couldn’t care less. It was the only way for him to please you. He also bought a bottle of vanilla latte perfumes as the smell reminded him of you.

If he could, he would’ve showered you in presents, luxurious gowns from the most expensive boutiques of the world, crown jewels, multiple cars... But you weren’t his, not yet.

The man felt the weird dynamic between you and Charles, it seemed like he was the only one who noticed it. Maybe you two were acting like the sweetest couple ever, madly in love with each other, but you weren’t going to fool him.

He noticed how awkward you could be whenever Charles kissed you and you never kissed on the lips, he was also the only one giving kisses, your lips never touched any part of his skin. Neither did you remember some of the most important things about the Monegasque even though he had no problem remembering yours. Pierre knew there was something going on and he was about to find out soon.

When the boys found you and Lorenzo the four of you met up with the rest in one of the main square's restaurant. You expected something expensive and exclusive as Charles usually insisted on eating out in such restaurants but walking into the premise, a warm, family atmosphere hit you.

You actually enjoyed this little change and the comfortable place itself. You took a place by a long table, Pascale and Charles on either end like the heads of the family, even though it was Lorenzo who was the oldest brother. Through time you've noticed that the quietest Leclerc was often ignored or left out, so you weren’t surprised when Charles took what should’ve been Lori's place.

While you awaited your meals, a little boy around 4 years old run up to your table with a basket of cutlery and a piece of paper with a pen on top. He handed the basket to Charles then pointed at the paper and pen. The man chuckled and signed the paper then gave it to the boy after ruffling his hair. You smiled brightly at their little encounter. When the boy was about to run away a waitress, probably his mother, stopped him and turned him around.

“Honey what do we say? “

They made their way back to your table and the little boy quickly thanked Charles before running off.

“I'm sorry, he's a little shy”

The woman explained bringing your group the food you ordered. She was tall and beautiful, had long blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, seemed around your age and clearly caught Charles' eye. It wasn’t like he immediately fell in lover with her, but he did find her attractive. She was a perfect match for him in Pascale’s eyes and she couldn’t care less that she had a kid already.

Throughout the whole dinner Pascale talked the young woman and her son up, inviting them to eat with you which the blonde had to deny due to her being at work but let her little boy join you. Soon Leo opened up and turned out to be a bubble of joy. He sat on Charles' lap eventually moving to yours when Leclerc had to use the bathroom. That’s when Pascale asked.

“So Y/N. Are you thinking of having kids with Charles? “

You choked on your drink hearing the question. Putting the glass away you coughed a little before responding.

“Well uh... I-I don't want to have kids... I'm not really a fan of them... And I'm sure pregnancy is a beautiful thing but it just scares me too much... “

The blonde laughed. She always laughed into your face when you talked about your beliefs and you slowly couldn’t stand it.

“Oh you're funny. Charles wants to have a lot of kids so it's not like you have a choice. You'll change your mind when he gets you pregnant “

“I'm sure you would love that”

You mumbled under your nose sarcastically knowing well she'd rather die than let her son have kids with you.

“It's her body and her choice mom. If she doesn’t want to have kids I'm not gonna maker her”

Charles said as he overheard a bit of your conversation. His hand squeezed your arm reassuringly. He would never make you do something you didn’t want to.

“Then you should change her for a new model! I want to have grandkids! Leo's mom is a really nice woman. Perfect for you and already has a kid so it wouldn’t be a problem for her to have more “

“Mom”

Charles sighed heavily rubbing his forehead, his hand moving to your lap and soothing it. He felt how tense and angry you were even though you didn’t show it.

“What? I'm just saying the truth-“

“You're just ruining the atmosphere. Y/N is a perfect girl for our Charlie and you should not care if she's a vegetarian, an atheist, a red head, doesn’t want to have kids, etc. etc. What matters is that she loves him and he feels happy with her”

Lorenzo stepped in getting annoyed by his mother. He had enough of her critical opinions about you as you really weren’t that bad.

“And you, Brutus, against me? “

Pascale gasped at her oldest talking back for the first time.

“Yes. I have enough of you talking bad about Y/N. We all have, as it is the only topic you seem to care about. It’s Christmas we should act like a normal, happy family we are and be glad that Charles joined us at all and not criticize his girlfriend”

“Lori's right... You went too far... “

Pierre added quietly. The rest of the dinner Pascale was quiet. She felt sad after her kids words but didn’t feel bad after hers.

Back at home the boys apologized for being so harsh and made up with their mother, but it wasn’t like she was going to be nicer to you.

“I'm sorry for today... “

Charles mumbled handing you a cup of hot cocoa with some vodka and joining you on the couch. You snuggled next to him and thanked for the liquid, then said after taking a sip.

“It's okay I understand it... She would never like me... Good think it's going to end soon... “

You whispered the last sentence loud enough for only Charles to hear, even though you were the only ones awake. Or so you thought. Leclerc wasn’t the only one that heard you. A few seconds earlier Pierre made his way down stairs to have some water and he overheard your short conversation. At first his heart ached as he noticed you two on the couch, getting jealous it wasn’t him instead of Charles, but then the knot loosened after what you've said.

“It's going to end soon”

He started to slowly connect the dots which were a good omen for him. On the other hand, Charles felt sad. He didn’t want this to end, never. The man hoped that he'd manage to make you fall in love with him in those 2 days, although you didn’t seem to change your thoughts about him yet. He had to try harder. That night you fell asleep in his arms, he took you to your shared room and layed with you on the bed. He was shocked but at the same time glad that you didn’t wake up and make him sleep on the floor.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Waking up to finding yourself on top of Charles wasn’t the best experience. You didn’t remember much from the previous night and started to worry that something happened between you two.

For the rest of the day you tried to ignore him as best as you could, which made Pascale happy. She hoped that after your previous day's conversation, you had a talk or maybe even a quarrel with her son that slowly led to your breakup. It was difficult though. It was the Christmas Eve after all and everyone had some chores to do, sometimes landing you with him to do something or just constantly passing him by.

You didn’t intend on blowing up by the Christmas table but this time Pascale started to offend your family. A family that died in a car accident when you were little, the view of firefighters putting out the burning crashed car as you sat int the ambulance and watched everything engraved in your brain, hunting you almost each night. That was another reason why you agreed to Charles’ request. You wanted to finally spend Christmas with a family in a pleasant atmosphere. But it wasn’t given to you...

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! “

You shot up from your place and shouted on top of your lungs at the blonde.

“IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE SUCH AN ALIEN! “

“I'M AN ALIEN?! LOOK AT YOURSELF! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A BITCH! ALL OF YOU DO! I REGRET AGREEING TO EVEN COME HERE! NOT MENTIONING SPENDING ALMOST THE WHOLE WEEK WITH YOU! FUCK IT I'M GOING HOME TOMORROW. I PREFER TO SPEND THE CHRISTMAS ALONE THAN WITH YOU! “

“GREAT! LEAVE AND NEVER EVER COME BACK YOU SLUT! “

You left the dining room in tears, quickly put on your coat and run out of the house. Pierre rushed after you while Charles and Lorenzo started to fight with their mother.

Pierre hopped into his car and quickly drove up to you. He softly honked at you a few times while calling your name.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

You shouted after stopping, mascara mixed with tears falling down your cheeks, hair disheveled and body trembling as you wore only your thigh length, red, sequin dress under the coat.

“Come in, please... You're freezing... “

After a few minutes of convincing, you got into the car and Pierre drove away.

“Where are you taking me?... “

You asked quietly, from time to time sniffling.

“Somewhere we can chill out in”

He explained squeezing your covered thigh. After you entered the vehicle he immediately took off his jacket and put it on your legs then planted his palm on your limb to assure you everything was going to be alright. Pierre parked his car in front of a bar then helped you out and inside. You ordered some drinks and filled one of the booths before chugging one after another. That's what you needed, to get drunk and forget about everything.

“Your family is hell... How do you even stand them!? “

You mumbled out with a hiccup. Your head was propped on your hand with the elbow on the table, you looked terrible, a wreck of a woman, but to Pierre you've looked more beautiful than ever. He was more than happy to have this little moment with you, even if it was supposed to end soon with you passing out. A thing he didn’t knew was that you had a really strong head and you were just a little tipsy after 3 drinks and 2 beers.

“I don’t know either... They're usually not that bad... I don’t know what happened this time”

“I happened. You can’t deny it... They just hate me for nothing and I can’t stand it anymore! “

Your free hand hit the table almost spilling your 3rd beer.

“Yeah I've noticed”

The man chuckled while you huffed unamused, your brows furrowing.

“It's funny to you? “

You hissed at which he shook his head.

“Maybe a little... “

Pierre admitted making you hit his head with a beer cap. He laughed once again this time getting one out of you too. Soon you got really comfortable with him and did what Charles feared the most.

“You know... There's something I want to tell you... “

“I'm listening”

“I'm... I'm not actually Charles’ girlfriend... We're just best friends and he asked me to come with him so you would stop asking him about a second half... Guess that didn’t turn out as he wished it would... “

You sighed melting into the couch. The man was silent for a while before he stood up and sat next to you.

“Then... You won’t be mad if I do this?... “

Looking up at him confused you felt his palm capture your chin and his finger brush along your bottom lip while gazing lovingly and deeply into your eyes. Before you could say something he connected your lips in a soft kiss, giving you time to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead straddling his lap and deepening the kiss. It might have been because of the alcohol, or just because of your mutual attraction that you soon found yourself naked in the back of his car, getting marked and taken great care of. It felt bad but oh so good... By midnight you came back home and continued your sinful ministrations in his bedroom.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Waking up on the first day of Christmas by his side you finally felt like you belonged there, belonged to the family, belonged to him. You weren’t scared, weirded out nor uncomfortable, not like with Charles. You felt as if Pierre was the one thing that was missing in your life.

“Morning... “

Soon you could hear him mumble. You looked up with a soft smile and placed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Will you drive me back home?... I'm not sure I'll be able to look Charles in the eyes after yesterday... “

You sighed resting your chin on top of his chest and played with it's hair. Pierre raised his eyebrow at you, a slightly sad expression forming on his face.

“You didn’t... Enjoy it?”

He whispered at which you shook your head.

“No, no. I enjoyed it, I really did but... I don’t know... It felt a bit wrong... “

You looked away with a sigh thinking of Charles’ reaction if he found out what you two were up to the previous night. He would've been furious with both of you most probably starting a fight and setting the house on fire and neither of you would like that.

“Stay... Just for the breakfast... And I'll drive you home in the afternoon. You still have presents to give us don’t you? “

Pierre started to rub your back and draw patterns on it, trying to calm you down and make relaxed once again.

“I'm sure you wouldn’t like them... Besides Charles can give them to you-”

“But I want to receive it from you. Not from Charles. Not from Lorenzo. From you. Please... Stay... For me... “

Looking into his eyes you saw the sparkles and hearts once again, your heart melting at the sight. You exhaled and agreed reluctantly. That family was going to be the end of you... You were about to get up and start getting dressed when Lorenzo knocked on the door and walked in right after.

“Pierre where's Y/N-“

You hid your bare chest from his view and pulled away from Pierre but was unable to say anything when Lorenzo quickly left and shut the door.

“Fuck. We're fucked. Oh my god that was a bad idea”

You rumbled while getting dressed in the speed of light. When you shot out of Gasly's room you bumped into Leclerc, patiently waiting for you to leave.

“Lori I-“

“Shhh... It's not your fault. You let him fool yourself, but it’s no wonder considering the situation you’re in. I don’t blame you and won’t tell anyone. Now, go make yourself presentable. We don’t want mom to see you like this do we? “

The man placed a kiss on top of your head before rushing you away. You were really confused with his reaction but glad as fuck that he didn’t immediately run to Charles to tell him. After you walked away, Lorenzo stormed into Pierre's room.

“WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! “

Lorenzo tried to throw a punch straight to Gasly's face but due to being way weaker, the Frenchman easily stopped him pinning him down on the bed.

“Calm down and shut up”

He hissed before releasing Leclerc.

“Are you crazy?! She's Charlie’s girlfriend! He's your bestfriend! Your family! “

Pierre rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He knew well that what you did was wrong but he didn’t feel bad. Quite the contrary. He felt like on cloud 9 after spending the night with you. Not only because you had sex but because you could finally be alone. Just the two of you. No Pascale. No Charles. Just Y/N and Pierre.

In meanwhile you passed Pascale on the corridor. Of course she wasn’t happy to see you in the morning, but thankfully didn’t pay attention to your tired and disheveled state. Neither did the woman notice you leave Pierre’s room earlier.

“What are you still doing here? “

Turning around on your heel you took a deep breath and started.

“I decided to stay until tomorrow morning. Just for Charles. And I sincerely apologize for my yesterdays manners. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that but your own actions aren’t the best either. I’m sorry once again “

The woman looked you up and down in complete silence before walking away without a word. The only thing she could admit she liked about you was that you were able to apologize and admit your mistakes, not like herself.

“Where were you?”

Charles asked as you quietly entered your shared room, hoping you wouldn’t wake him up but he was up all night.

“I’ve tried to reach you and Pierre the whole night. Where. Were. You. “

The man got up from the bed and slowly walked up to you, caging you between the door and himself.

“Pierre took me to a bar... We’ve spent there the whole night and came back like 2 hours ago... “

You gulped looking up at the man. Good thing you went to the bathroom and corrected your appearance before going in there or you would've been in way more trouble. Charles sighed, his hands capturing yours and squeezing them gently.

“I was looking for you everywhere... You don’t even know how worried I was... I know you were angry but you could’ve at least let me know you’re alright... Or make Pierre call me... “

One of his hands brushed your cheek as his eyes averted between yours and your pink lips. Charles wanted to kiss you so bad but figured you could be still mad and decided otherwise. Plus he was still furious at Pierre taking you somewhere without his knowledge, and if you blew up he would blow up too. Then knowing your both’s tempers the whole house would be on fire with Pascale and Arthur constantly adding gasoline.

“I know... I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to worry you, it’s just that... I couldn’t stand it anymore... I want to go home...”

A single tear fell down your cheek which Charles quickly kissed away. He hated to see you in that state, but what he hated even more was that he was the one who caused it. If he hadn’t asked you for that favor, you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He was a shitty bestfriend.

“I love her okay? I just... I just can’t help it... “

Pierre blurted out making Lorenzo shut up and look at him in disbelief. He couldn’t believe in the Frenchman.

“You- WHAT?! “

The Monegasque threw himself at Pierre, a fight unraveling between the two, destroying almost the whole room before they flew out of it through the door, landing on the floor with a loud thump. The noise caught everyone’s attention, saving you from the too uncomfortable conversation with Charles.

“Oh my god boys!”

Pascale tried to push them away from each other before getting shooed over by Carlos and Arthur, so she wouldn’t accidentally get hurt, who stopped the fight. Lorenzo wriggled in his younger brother’s arms angrily, blood running down his nose while Pierre already calmed down a little and touched his black eye gently.

“What have you done!?”

Pascale shouted at you with anger in her eyes. Sure the fight was about you but it’s not like you caused it... Maybe not entirely but still.

“Why do you already accuse me?! I wasn’t even there! I was with Charles!”

The middle Leclerc nodded confirmingly while his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close in a protective manner. Pierre wanted to vomit at the sight, blood boiled in his vains and he was ready to start another fight this time with Charles but knew better than that. The man just wanted the Christmas to be over so he could finally take you out somewhere and spend some time with you in a normal, nice atmosphere. Without Charles, without Lorenzo, without his family. Just you and him. Together.

“But I’m sure it’s your fault! My boys aren’t my boys anymore since you’ve showed up here! You’ve ruined them! “

You were ready to throw a punch at her and you would’ve done that if not her whole family watching you. Instead you just kept rushing Lorenzo to the bathroom to help him with his nose and talk about the fight.

“I did not expect this from you...”

You huffed angrily, sitting him down on a stool in front of you.

“This is a house of fucking madmen...”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry... But when Pierre disrespected my little brother like that I just couldn’t hold it in anymore...”

The man sighed looking up at you with those big, brown puppy eyes of his. You softly shook your head before proceeding to wipe the blood away from underneath his nose.

“I think... I need to tell you something. You just... Need to stay calm okay?”

“I don’t like where this is going...”

“I know you love your brother with your whole heart and think I’m the best lady he could have but... This is all a lie... We’re not together... We’re just best friends... He asked me to join you because he had enough of constant questions about the other half and hoped bringing me with himself would solve it... But it didn’t. Instead making even more chaos...”

You said on one breath then watched Lori’s face for any signs of his reaction. The man was quiet for a longer time before finally speaking.

“Oh... That's... That’s a pity... And... And I started to get so happy you would be my sister in law... I’m sorry that’s- that’s just stupid”

The Monegasque stood up and was about to leave when you grabbed his shoulders and sat him back down. You embraced him in a warm hug and gave a gentle kiss to his head.

“I may not be your sister in law but you can always count on me. No matter what. You’re like a brother I’ve never had, Lori”

“Stop it or I’m gonna cry...”

He hid his face in the crook of your neck while hugging you back. He felt sad that you and Charles weren’t actually together and was sorry for his brother due to his apparent attraction to you and your obliviousness.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🎄˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

“This morning started just incredibly...”

Pascale sighed as she sat down in her armchair in the living room. The whole group already after breakfast now waiting for Lorenzo, who was still with you, to join them so they could unpack their presents. The atmosphere was dense, you could cut it with a knife, yet you still decided to give them your presents first to have it over already. You walked down the stairs with Lorenzo, both holding a few bags, then entered the quiet living room. Taking a deep breath you started your monologue while the Monegasque handed out your gifts.

“I know you have enough of me already, so you can do whatever you want with those. Sell them. Throw them away. Heck even burn them! I don’t care. I just wanted to say sorry that I ruined your Christmas and hopefully next year everything would be way better. Without me of course. Coming here I was hoping for an enjoyable, family Christmas – one that I haven’t had since I was five, when my parents died. But it turned out how it turned out and honestly... In contrast to what I’ve said yesterday – I don’t regret joining you. I am just crazy and this was fun. You can open those now”

With that said you let them open the gifts. Each one of them received a different, knitted by you, Christmas sweater. You once saw a really old family photo at Charles’, one where his father was still alive and Arthur was just a little baby. Everyone was dressed in sweaters like those, with huge smiles on their faces and you hoped to recreate that moment before you came there.

You’ve tried your best to freshen out their designs while keeping the overall vibe of each piece, spending a lot of time on making them without Charles’ knowledge. Now you couldn’t care less.

But seeing their reactions, especially Pascale’s, made your heart break in half. The older woman started to cry, the rest following after. Some just sniffling like Pierre or Charles, too manly to show any emotions. Some cried their eyes out like Arthur and the older woman, which shocked you a lot. You looked confused between them before Carlos spoke up.

“Herve used to make such sweaters for us every Christmas... Then took million photos of us wearing them, proud of his opus... We haven’t worn such sweaters for Christmas every since his death... Thank you Y/N... It’s the best gif we could’ve ever receive”

The man got up hugging you tightly, Rebecca and Lorenzo following shortly after.

“It even looks like my first one...”

Arthur blurted out, almost choking on his tears as he looked down at the piece then back at you.

“Thank you...”

“I... I had no idea...”

You mumbled out. Your heart melted at the view and you were more than pleased that they loved them.

“I’m sorry...”

Soon you heard Pascale whisper through tears. You smiled softly and crouched down in front of her embracing her in a warm hug. The woman didn’t say anything instead hiding her face in your shoulder. You held her like that for a longer time, not saying a word not wanting to startle her, as the whole family watched with huge smiles. When she pulled away you wiped her tears away and helped her put on the sweater.

“It’s beautiful... Thank you...”

The older woman said quietly, while looking down. She was too ashamed to look into your eyes. After receiving your gift she finally understood that you tried your best to fit into their family, not trying to impose your views on them which she accused you of.

She understood her behaviour towards you was horrible and undeserved as you didn’t do anything bad to her nor her son. Quite the contrary. You seemed to make Charles even more happier than he was.

The death of her husband and constant thought of loosing her children too changed her so much she didn’t even realise she started to be toxic. And it wasn’t only to you. Earlier she was critical of every previous girlfriend that any of her sons brought home, but she was just terrible to you and nothing could justify her doings. But your heart was too big to not forgive her after her apology. You felt it was sincere and even shed a tear before hugging her once again.

After you had your little moment with Pascale, Charles got up and announced.

“Well... I guess I should say sorry too. To all of you. For lying straight into your faces... We’re actually not together with Y/N. I just wanted you to fuck off from my love life, that’s why I brought her... I’m sorry once again... “

The whole family forgave him immediately, actually being a little sad it all was a lie as they saw the fire in Charles’ eyes whenever he looked at you.

“Tell her...”

Lorenzo tried to persuade his younger brother quietly, earning a confused look from you and Pascale.

“Tell me what?”

You asked soon, too impatient to wait. You watched the man make his way over to you and sit down beside you on the floor. He captured your hands in his and gave each a sweet kiss before confessing his love.

“I love you Y/N L/N. I always did... Since we’ve met I knew you were the one for me... I can’t live without you. Without your smile. Without your laugh. Those beautiful green eyes... I just- Will you be my girlfirend? This time for real?...”

Feeling uneasy with what you’ve just heard and all the eyes watching you, you looked at Pierre hoping he’d help you. He was hurt and scared you would say yes, making your eyes water.

“No you can’t- You can’t be in love with me... That’s a joke right? Please tell me it’s a joke”

Shaking your head you felt tears spill down your cheeks and an awkward chuckle escaped your lips. It was all too much for one day.

“It’s not like I haven’t been humiliated enough...”

You stood up from your place and was about to leave when Charles caught your hand and stopped you.

“Y/N I’m serious”

“Serious!? Nothing in this house- this family, is serious! You all hate me for stupidest things ever and you dare to say you’re serious!?”

You hissed, emotions steering inside of you, slowly spilling out.

“We don’t hate you...”

Arthur said but you knew better.

“OH REALLY?! And you of all people say that. Y/N this... Y/N that... A bimbo. A heathen. A leafhead! That’s what you all think of me... You think I’m not good enough for your Lord Perceval... And I don’t want to be! I’m an alien who ruined your Christmas and then slept with Pierre!”

You shouted out without realising what you’ve just said.

“What?”

Charles confused question made you comprehend your words and cover your mouth with your hands in shock. The room felt silent, only the faint sound of clock ticking could be heard until the middle Leclerc launched himself at Gasly.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

“Not again!”

Pierre shouted as they dropped out the door, this time the front ones, onto the cold and wet snow. The other men tried to get them away from one another, each failing getting hurt in proces.

“You motherfucker how could you! You’re my best friend and you fucked the girl you knew well I love!”

Soon Leclerc straddled Pierre, palms tightly wrapped around his neck trying to choke him. You’ve never seen Charles so mad, which only confirmed his words that he indeed loved you. Otherwise he wouldn’t try to kill his bestie. Finally, after the 7 of you managed to pull them away you wanted to sink into the ground and die.

“You hate me now, don’t you?”

You asked quietly, entering the room you previously shared with Charles. The Monegasque sat on the bed and gazed at something way before you came there, not moving an inch even after you sat down next to him.

“I'm sorry-“

“I should’ve told you a long time ago... “

“But it my answer would've been no different... I love you Charles, but as a brother and nothing will change that. I'm sorry... “

The man layed down and placed his head on your legs as you started to play with his hair. You've talked for a long time eventually understanding each other's feelings and that nothing would come out of it.

With time and your help, Charles has managed to move on from you. Exactly a year later, you met at the same house once again, this time in a slightly changed composition.

Charles burst in with Leo in his arms and Kate following shortly after. They greeted everyone before finally walking up to you and Pierre.

“We have a little surprise... “

You bit your lip out of excitement while Pierre lifted up his last year's sweater from tour belly revealing a baby bump.

“We think of naming him Perceval”

The Frenchman teased as Leclerc gazed at you in disbelief and excitement.

“Oh you have to call him Charles or Charlie. You owe me that! “

He joked with a loud chuckled, secretly hoping you actually would do that.

"I thought you didn't want to have kids"

Kate asked. You gazed up at Pierre with a loving look them averted your eyes back to Charles and his new girlfriend.

"I think I'm ready"

You never thought that agreeing to help your best friend would change your life 360 degrees. Yet there you were, just a year later, finally accepted in the family, carrying it's another member. You couldn’t have wished for better holidays...

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Hiiii

So I was thinking about drakes spoiled brat (as I do. Quite a bit) and while scrolling through the DSB tag on tumblr I found those posts talking about epilogs and how that would look. And honestly-just imagine being a normal civilian at the end of this story and all you know is that Timothy "trash" drake is abruptly adopted by the Wayne's and suddenly is very very chill??? Like lol that would confuse the shit outta so many people LMAO

Timothy: I'm a cisgender heterosexual rich Christian white man. And I am better than all of you who are not all of those things. And even if you do check all the boxes, you still aren't me and therefore will never compare.

*the next day*

Tim: I'm uhh gender? Shit next question. Sexuality? Uhhh boys. And girls? Yes. Christian? Shit- fuck- no I'm an atheist...I'm rich and white I wasn't gaslighting myself about those two. So technically it cancels out. Anyways. Uh. Shit man idk I'm running on fumes rn ive been awake 51 hours straight...don't tell Bruce.

The general public: *slow blink* ...who are you and where is Timothy.

The bats: *low key getting some amusement over Tim fumbling*

Anyways. Idk if this is coherent lol I'm just bein silly. I love your fic so much and it's inspired me for some ideas of my own so thanks. You're a very talented author <333

Oh don't worry about coherency hon its brainrot and I just so happen to be a native speaker- and thank you for the praise <33

I will say that Timothy isn't your "classic" wolf on wallstreet guy-

Gotham rich people are a whole new breed because yeah there are social expectations and what not, but once you reach a certian class its mostly "fuck all as long as the investors are happy"

The public perception of Timothy is like a guy who you WANT to feel bad for, and can easily go "yeah that explains a bit of his behavior-" but your still making it REALLY hard to take your side

Most of his "Scandals" have come from him verbally assaulting people, underage drinking/drugs use, and just doing stuff that was not PR approved. To some hes a fucking menace, to others he's as entertaining as those two birkin boyfriends.

Yes he's an asshole, but he's also a kid who lost his parents pretty horribly (wink wink for future lore) and instead of being free as a young nepo baby should be, he's tied down to Gotham, keeping his parents company alive and dealing with all sorts of shit behind closed doors.

Of course hard to feel pity for a rich asshat so there are absolutely a decent percentage of people who roll their eyes whenever someone brings up "Timothy Drake" and everyone has a story of someone with a shit experience

BUT he gets adopted by the Wayne brood and is suddenly- half decent?? Most people would just accept of "Good- everyones favorite himbo gets a new kid, a bit of a fixer upper but lord knows he needed it"

Anyways heres MY ramblings in turn- will definently explore more of Tim and Timothys relationships in Gotham in the future so this is due to fluxuate but as of rn this is generally the perspective <33

[olderthannetfic]

Nothing turns me off from a fanfic faster than a fear of emotional sincerity. There's so much irony, so many jokes, so many "ugh that was awkward" "I know right" after scenes that could have been touching had they not just been undermined, and a thorough coating of snark and sarcasm over an alarming number of protagonists. My fandom lends itself well to OCs and I've read some wonderful, one of a kind OCs as a result. I've also read a lot of the above, whatever you'd like to term that sort of story. I find it deeply uninspiring. How am I meant to be interested in a story when the author isn't? How am I supposed to get deeply invested in this thing when we have to punctuate everything with quips? Sometimes I just want a story where not everyone feels like they're saying lines for the movie trailers and memes these fics will never actually get.

There's so much potential out there in the setting for all kinds of characters. I shouldn't be able to take quotes from all of these OCs in all these different roles and have them read in that same irreverent, I-am-quipping-in-the-war-zone tone to such a degree that any line could come from all of them.

And when I mentioned this to a friend they assumed that meant I wanted boring heroes. No. Too much of anything makes that the boring, predictable thing. I want weird. Give me a very sincere hero who is also mildly out of touch with reality and talks to bugs but whose pacifism will not extend to you if you touch his loved ones. Give me a hot grandpa who's too old for snarky shit and wants to hash things out like an adult and relearns how to see the world with wonder in his eyes. Give me a heroine who's neurodivergent and nice and also really good at a handful of things that bring her actual joy instead of snarky cool girl semi-joy. Just. Any break from the latest brunette white cis culturally Christian atheist snarky cool person who always has a line at the ready and doesn't let anything get under their skin no matter how much it would be really weird for it to not matter to them, actually and how completely understandable it would be to let them feel something.

A scene that lives rent free in my head is from a fanfic now deleted, but in which two characters just talk about their trauma and have a quiet moment. The canon character is comforted by the OC without any romantic undertones or intent. Nobody makes any jokes to break the tension. They just have a moment where one person leans on someone else because sometimes life is fucking hard and you just need someone else to tell you they've been there, they managed, you're not alone, they've got you.

Most fics in my fandom don't have that much sincerity in the entire story. And this thing I loved, this fandom I invested six years into, is finally just too dull of a sandbox to play in anymore. I don't like that. Nobody's taking any risks, even one as minor as emotional sincerity in fiction, which is arguably a lot safer a place to do that than reality.

I miss when my fandom was new and the OCs were some of the most baffling people you've ever had described to you with nonetheless well-written backstories going out to do shit they believed in.

--

Sincerity is terrifying for an author.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 3 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Enrico propaganda

He grew up in the church and became a priest. so devoted to his faith he ended the UNIVERSE to achieve the perfect world aka heaven

Hes Catholic but also so gay for this one vampire that he ended the world for him

He is LITERALLY one big metaphor for the catholic church as a villain. He’s a guy who believes himself to be a martyr on a fundamentally altruistic quest that will better humanity and the world, but in truth hes a destructive force blind to his faults and hypocritical of the atrocities he commits. Even his altruisim is just a lie (that he does believe himself though) because it all just stems from a deep rooted desire he has to alliviate the guilt he feels. Also hes obsessed with ”the world to come” to the point that hes downright nihilistic towards the current world he actually lives in, as well as the other people in it. which i mean. lol. Ultimately hes an insane delusional queen and he should win this because he is just That catholic. also he is a catholic priest :)

his names pussy bc he served cunt (in a catholic god honoring way)

I want my bestie’s guy in bere

No one could feel guilt to this level if not catholic

Religious Allegory mostly woth how his power(white snake) is contradictory it has white to make you think of good things but it contrast with snake a creature that tempted adam and eve. Although he is a Man of faith his stand’s design is far from it being incredibly intimidating and lined with the genetic of dna whihc is scientific compared to faith.

Bro tries to kill a child

serial killer priest bro

HE IS INSANE He spent his whole life believing in fate and when his world turned around Shakespeare tragedy style he made it his mission to bring 「HEAVEN TO EARTH」, which means TEARING AWAY THE FABRIC OF REALITY SO THAT EVERYONE IS AWARE OF THEIR OWN FATE. How does he get there? Simple! By using a half-baked horse to SPEED UP TIME UNTIL THE UNIVERSE RESETS AND LAUNCHES EVERYONE INTO A NEW WORLD. How did he GET this horse??? Oh, as one does - his (dead) best friend’s toe bone grew into a baby made of leaves that vored him, but he survived and grew even more eyebrows than he already had. And that’s without getting into the STUFF that makes him a phenomenal, S-tier, fine wine that EXPLODES and causes you to see VISIONS type of character. That’s just the surface. But, ah, that’s Catholics for ya. Vote Enrico Pucci for king of the Catholic tournament. 👍🏻

Dana Scully Propaganda

in a world of monsters and paranormal activity and alien conspiracies her faith is still important to her and I love her for it (well. that and many other reasons)

She’s a doctor but quit to become an FBI agent so she ends up just doing autopsies on people who died to ghosts or aliens. She is usually super factual and a huge skeptic, but she has repeated crises of faith and has to go to church to chill out. She feels guilty about everything constantly. Her family members remind her to be more catholic and then they end up dying and then she feels even worse. She gets abducted by aliens.

Most of her character arc revolves around struggling to square her faith with a) being a heavily skeptical scientist b) aliens being real (something she resisted very strongly on the grounds that she’s a skeptical scientist) c) being abducted and getting pregnant and nearly dying as a result of said aliens being real. Struggles with this so much that she’s in the confession booth like :grimace: especially because her investigative partner Mulder is a) an atheist b) believes in aliens just as strongly as she believes in Jesus

Refuses to believe in aliens because there’s absolutely no proof for it but then spends a whole ass episode trying to convince Fox “Aliens abducted my sister” Mulder that angels are real and can cause miracles. The sheer quantity of scientific qualifications she has only to turn around and say she wholeheartedly thinks biblical angels are 100% legit

[myheartalivewrites]

20 questions for fic writers

Hey @cha-melodius thanks for tagging me in this!

How many works do you have on ao3?

23

What's your total ao3 word count?

329,905

What fandoms do you write for?

RWRB and A Marvellous Light (The Last Binding trilogy). I've been thinking about writing for We Could be So Good by Cat Sebastian since I read it last week. I loved it so much I binge read 3 other books by the same author straight after, and then turned right back to WCBSG. Book rec for everyone who's not read it!

Top five fics by kudos:

Deep Blue

Just Like That.

Oxford Days

In His Wildest Dreams

A tie for fifth! Have One (On Me) and Tumbled Down and Tangled Up

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Unless they're a bit dodge lol

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is the question that reminds me I've done this game before hehe. I'm only interested in happy endings so this is hard to choose, but Don't Wanna Be A Fool For You is quite angsty and ends just as they're getting over the angst, so I have to go with that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I always write happy endings, BUT, if I must choose, I'm gonna go with a non-RWRB fic here. in your room, like a temple is an epilogue of sorts to A Marvellous Light, and it makes me SO HAPPY to have written this settled future for Robin and Edwin.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, though I did get a couple of annoying comments on my first threesome fic from people who thought their own vision of monogamy for Alex and Henry was something they had to come and tell me about 🙄

Do you write smut?

hahahahhaaaaaaaa yes

Craziest crossover:

Never done one

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! Someone did ask me about translating Deep Blue but I don't think they've followed through with it. I'd love it though

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No

All time favorite ship?

Alex and Henry

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oooh, I don't have any WIPs on ao3 to feel guilty about. What sits on my hard drive is between me and my atheist god (also me)

What are your writing strengths?

Yikes, ok! Here are things I like about my writing: I like the way I write smut that's super emotional AND super hot, and all the different ways I've come up to make smut scenes different from each other (because writing them can sometimes feel repetitive from my perspective). I like the way I play with rhythm in sentences and build tension in scenes. I like the way I build emotional and sexual tension in a piece overall. Please no one drop into the notes to tell me they disagree 😂

What are your writing weaknesses?

I CANNOT come up with external obstacles! Whenever I'm trying to plot something out and I'm trying to come up with BIG PLOT REASONS to keep people apart, my brain just freezes. I love internal obstacles, the emotional reasons why people choose to do the things they do, but as for external things to move the plot along (think Jeffrey Richard leaking emails, Queen Mary telling Henry how to live his life) I'm just... ultimately uninterested in them. Which is fine if it's a choice, and I love a lot of writing just like that, but I wish my brain could at least TRY.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Like it.

First fandom you wrote in?

RWRB

Favorite fic you've written?

Haha good one. Changes all the time. Current fave: Paper Chains, I think (a personal stab to my heart how much it's underrated). I tried something new for me with the structure, and I think the emotional punches hit so hard, I'm so proud of it. Or maybe the new one for RBB, called Foxden Park. Coming soon!

No pressure tags (and sorry if you've already done this and I've missed it!): @thesleepyskipper @firenati0n @welcometololaland @inexplicablymine @sparklepocalypse

@onetwistedmiracle @tintagel-or-cockleshells @historicallysam @cultofsappho @14carrotghoul

@suseagull04 @magicandarchery @itsmaybitheway @porcelainmortal @anincompletelist and anyone who fancies joining in! 😘

[david-goldrock]

I am thinking about them again, so let me tell you the story of Ayala

Ayala is not their name, obviously, none of them names in the story are true.

We met in the 4th grade. I just moved towns and went to this new school, but she wasn't in it. She was at the gifted kid institute. Once every week, they'd pull us out of the school system to let us into a world of happiness, challenge, and understanding. My best of days were from there, I have yet to have told you of the time I got high off of sugar there, but that's a story from another time, for another time.

It's the 4th grade, and I just meet the fellas, many of which I still keep in touch with.

She had glasses. she always wore the same blue hoodie, summer and all. She was always a bit cold. She had this weird bowl cut hair that never crossed her shoulders, as if she cut it the shortest she could without being an outcast. she was funny, she was brilliant, smarter than I am for sure. She beat me at math, and at riddles. She solved a Rubik's Cube while I was fiddling with the upper face. She could speak a bit of Chinese by the end of that year, I couldn't remember anything but my name, which was the same word

She was my best friend at the time. I didn't have a smartphone, so we couldn't text, only call. So we did, often. once a week, twice a week, thrice a week.

When we met, I'd hug everyone. we were still young enough so it wouldn't be weird. We were still young enough I couldn't control my strength, and would often chock my friends out. She was the only one who matched my strength. Some people appreciated the hug but wanted out, not her, her hugs lasted minutes, filling my inside.

The years went on and we grew closer. We made a religion, with goals, rituals and all. we made a plan to kill every adult in the world so only we will remain. We would make jokes, we would make games, we would recite plays, we would write poems.

6th grade. I got my smartphone.

We texted, every day, for hours. We didn't know what memes were back then, nor did we have some, but we would create jokes and tell each other. We'd challenge each other with riddles and philosophical thought experiments. We would plan actual experiments. I told her her experiments would almost certainly be illegal to perform, but she just brushed it off.

7th grade, the hottest class at the institute? gender studies. of course, it is, one day I'd perform the experiment we once designed: track the gifted kid population through a 10-year period and check how many are LGBT. in our institute it's only been 4 years, and we are already over 50%. I am one of the few cishet boys in the class, as to be expected. I challenge and ask questions, often. the class almost never advanced after the first slide, we would get caught up in discussions. the discussions didn't end at class, the WhatsApp group was fuming, always running, 19\7. The discussions didn't end at the group, She and I would chat to the late hours of the night, after the teacher couldn't handle it anymore.

She convinced me god does not exist, and that it is okay, because we had each other. It took her 30 minutes to turn me from a questioner to an atheist.

She was so smart, and so funny, and so... beautiful. She was stunning. No makeup, no fancy clothes, she didn't look like a traditional model, and my parents openly called her ugly to my face.

They could never understand, She was beautiful.

I fell in love. I didn't know it at the time, I didn't recognize the feeling, I didn't know it, but now I do. I fell in love, I fell hard.

Then 8th grade. Covid hits. my grandma dies. I don't know what happened at her side, but shit hit the bottom as well. We fell into a deep depression, both of us. There were weeks at a time I would feel nothing. We would message a lot over that time, I was really sad, she was suicidal.

At 9th grade shit hit the fan, she called me, she didn't call me often by that point, only texted, so I was ecstatic.

"hey david"

"HEY WHAT'S UP? HOW ARE YOU?"

"david can I ask you something?"

"Sure..... what is it?"

"if i'm gone, will you be okay with it?"

"WTF?! NO! WTF? WHY WOULD YOU SAY IT? NO! NOT EVEN AS A JOKE!"

"please"

"NO! AYALA! YOU ARE NOT DYING ON ME"

*hangs up*

I call her mother. It took me 15 minutes to call her, I didn't have her number, Ayala didn't give it to me, and none of my friends had it. I found it 15 minutes later in a "details" card I kept from a year before.

15 dreadful minutes

She responds, she tells me she's safe, she's with her, everything's fine, she knows she is suicidal, they are working on it, thanks for calling

A month later they tell me they are non-binary, and that their name is now Ash. I am shocked. I ask them if I could still refer to them in the female. They say that in hebrew, yes, but to use "they" in english.

Their messages get less frequent

2 months later I get a call from her mom. They tell me she tried to suicide. she took an overdose of pills, and then called the hospital on herself. She is fine, but she is put in the mental hospital for the time being. No phone contact

3 months later, I get a text. "Hi, sorry for being distant, I got my phone back, for a while. I wanted to tell you that the reason I called the ambulance is that I didn't want you to be hurt, or for my cat to be hurt"

They don't respond to any of my texts. I send them memes, and drawings, and get-well-soons. I pray for them every night. I get the occasional text, once a month roughly. "ha ha", "nice one", "use the masculine next time or this will be the last time I text". I didn't even know it bothered them

I finally changed their handle on my phone. I changed it to "Ash (male) GoodHuman". I knew their family name, of course, but it didn't matter, what mattered is that I miss the GoodHuman.

Then... a year passes, and a few months more, they haven't written a text in what seemed like forever.

"Hey david, sorry for ghosting you, It was too difficult responding, I love your texts, and I will try to text you more often"

so we continue to text. turns out, they cut their hair short. they switched to cargo pants and leather, no more blue hoodie. They wore a fedora now, and had new glasses

They had a new boyfriend.

I do not remember their name, I am afraid to go look if I'm honest. I don't like the guy, he seems way too controlling, and way too sure of himself, and way too... too dumb for them. But they were happy, and after the last couple of years, it's been good enough knowing that they were happy

They texted from his phone sometimes. he switched and talked to me sometimes.

I meant to sent her something by mail. I knew the city, but not the address, so I asked.

They told me "Oh didn't I tell you? My parents got divorced. My mom couldn't handle me being trans, my dad could. I live with him now"

They give me the address

It's so close. So absurdly close. Not in my city, but my city borders a field, and the field connects to another city. I lived on the entrance to the field, they lived on the other. Half an hour by bike.

So they invite me over, and I bike. I bike like mad, I didn't know the path, it didn't matter, I rolled through the thorns, they couldn't hurt me, we are about to meet again.

And we met, and we talked, and we watched a musical, and we played, and recited plays, and sand songs, and we riddled each other riddles, and we played philosophy, and it was suddenly like the old times came back.

I asked how was it going with the boyfriend. They told me they actually were polyamorous, and if I wanted, we could have sex right there and then, her father wasn't home.

I suddenly realized... the years have changed me. I say no.

It was getting late, so I went to take my bike and... the thorns punctured them. I didn't even think to look. I waited for their father to return to bring me home, and promised: next time in my house. They gave me an origami frog. I still have it

Their father came later. he drove me back, but by the time we got home, my mother asked where I've been.

I lied. My mother hated Ash, and still called them Ayala. I don't remember my lie, I am pretty sure she knew exactly what happened, but we never talked about that.

Stuff went well for a while, then...

We went into a gender studies discussion. It went as usual, then they said "yeah, but all men are rapists".

"I'm a man"

no comment

"Ash, I ask you to back down, this hurts me a lot"

They doubled down. I don't remember what they said. I remember I shed a tear for the first time since my grandma died and say "If you want to talk with me again, back down, if not, I will not engage again"

I assumed they'd back down in a day. In 2 tops. Every day I'd check the chat, still empty.

5 months later: "I am not backing down, but it shouldn't affect our relationship-"

I stop reading

I write some "professional speech" bs about me being able to accept an apology whenever they'd like, but I cannot continue like this, and wish them the best

This is the last message in our chat

Often I ask myself if I was too dramatic, If this was too much, If I should have accepted it for our friendship. I don't know the answer

This was a year ago. more, actually. They never came for the "next time in my house". The friends who keep in touch with both of us say they are still with the same boyfriend. they colored their hair. they are trying to pass school, but having a hard time with math.

I pray they are still okay

[frogadir]

Okay I'm literally falling asleep as I type this so I just want to get my point out there while it feels immediate to me... 03 moment

Episode 1

The famous atheist speech we all know and love... never mind that ed has come as close as any human can to staring god in the face <3 his bad attitude and cynicism are all over this, so it's funny to hear al call it out by name at the end. Especially remarking on the fact that he's trying to push his beliefs onto someone who's fighting them...

Episode 50

So obviously a lot happens between episodes 1 and 50, and this increasingly difficult journey culminates in ed finding himself on the other side of the gate, disturbed by the revelation that equivalent exchange, the foundation of his belief system, might not be real. Ed's found himself in a similar position to rose in episode 1, whose beliefs he tore apart... now it's hohenheim telling ed what he doesn't want to hear, and ed fighting against it. Compare the first highlighted line in the episode 50 scene to the first highlighted line in the episode 1 scene... he goes from mocking rose's dedication to... more or less earnestly saying he believes in an idea he once made fun of... and the highlighted line at the end has been one of my favorites for a long time. cynicism is crucial to ed's character, so what does it mean for him to give up on it? to stop acting like he doesn't care about anything? because that was never true. He was protecting himself from getting hurt again. He put his faith in something that seriously did not work out for him lol and it changed the course of his life... and then he watched a lot of bad things continue to happen... it's no wonder he developed the attitude that he did. But at what is perhaps his lowest point he turns around and says actually I want to believe in something good... it's better than writing off the world

and I don't think faith is purely religious and/or spiritual. There are a lot of things we can believe in as ways of centering ourselves in this world. We're losing the plot here a little sorry just stay with me but like so many times growing up in hebrew school we would talk about whether or not we believed in god. and I didn't have an answer to that as a kid because if I spoke I knew I would say I don't think I do and I was too embarrassed to admit that to everyone. I would think why would god let bad things happen. and as I got older I decided that life wasn't that simple. I always think about the george costanza quote where he's like "I only believe in god for the bad things" lol. because sometimes when life gets hard and you don't understand why things are happening it's easiest to blame some higher power for fucking you up. but no one really knows if god is real and that aside ultimately our lives are our own. so you can believe in god you don't have to though but either way it helps to have a little faith that things will be okay... not necessarily in a religious way but in a like... I made it this far I'm still here and I can keep going as long as I believe in myself way... Okay so I literally don't know what I'm talking about anymore actually I do but like I am definitely saying some bullshit rn but yeah. That line. I think about it a lot and watching that clip from episode 1 over a few times because I put it in my presentation got me thinking about how these scenes reflect each other... and also I think it's awesome that after he says that a flaming zeppelin falls on him and he gets trapped under the rubble. Crazy stuff

[ln-stories]

Simeon's Mc

I was thinking about making a small series of drawings of obey me charachers and special custom sheep mc designs, along with some headcanons for fun!. ( headcanons are may contain spoilers sometimes so please if you don't wish to see spoilers of any kind, don't read the post). Other than that i accept request of the next characher on the list in the comment section.

(apologies for any grammar mistakes haha)

First Simeon's mc!

warnings: SPOILER ALERT.

HEADCANNONS:

(they/them mc)

personality: (a bit of an atheist, good mannered, clumsy, fearfull, oblivious at times, wholesome but deep inside craves violence XDD)

This mc is actually the smallest of all the mcs in this series.

Before the exchange program, this mc never believed in demons and angels, heaven and hell. So when they arrived at the devildom they were completly dumbfounded.

when the mc met the demons at first, they feared for their life, remembering flashbacks when they used to laugh about stories with demons. Now time to face reality little sheep :)

At first things were weird at the house of lamentation, everything felt so akward between them and the demon brothers, and the whole situation with Mammon and Levi didn't help much either.

When they started going to RAD and met the angels and the sorcerer, they were dumbfounded twice, feeling even more stupid as they remember saying with exact words "i don't believe in miracles". Though the angels didn't judge them for it.

The mc felt a bit weird to hang out with Solomon as they heard rumors about him being shady and stuff. The mc was trying their best to avoid trouble but somehow trouble is trying to get to them istead hahaha.

This mc turned out to be most comfortable to simeon, it felt like a weird dynamic at first but simeon never judged the mc for their beliefs.

Slowly becoming friends with the handsome angel and the little angel Luke, as the mc started to feel more comfortable in the devildom. (closest friendships is Simeon, Luke, Mammon, Levi and Beel)

The mc even started to trust the brothers! woah! (minus belphie who they still felt a bit scared with his situation)

The mc is often invited to the purgatory hall by Simeon. Simeon adored having them over the tea and sweets.

The mc and Simeon got closer and closer the more they hanged out. It is a very wholesome relasionship between the two.

The mc even co-parent with Simeon to protect luke from any harm.

Sometimes Simeon gets jealous that the mc is living in the house of lamentions with the demon brother stealing their attention. He wanted to get closer with mc and he was running out of ideas how to spend more time with them.

Simeon is trying his best to host many tea parties as he finds it a great excuse to spend time with mc. (often those tea parties include gifts from him)

One of the gifts he gifts the MC is a protection charm that helps mc in times of need or in danger. (since he can't be there all the time)

When that time came that mc almost died in the story and simeon was just in time to save them with the ring of light, Simeon never experienced such fear within his existence. After that whole scene with the ring of light, he couldn't exactly fit it on mc's little legs so he just put it around their arm like a small bracelet instead XDDD.

From that point and on simeon was getting overprotective of the mc since that incident to the point that he even asked them if they can move to the purgatory hall with them. He made a big list of reasons why he should move in there. (some of the reasons include Luke for good measure. As the mc was protective of Luke despite their size)

Also random fan fact, this mc favorite thing to do is sing, sometimes the angels and them singing some songs and even go karaoke sometimes! (a wholesome family trip)

Sometimes the mc feels completly changed after some time living in the devildom as they changed their prespective about their old beliefs. Even after RAD they visit simeon and the others alot since mostly everyone became good friends with eachother.

The only one that this mc kind of avoids in the end is Belphagor because they are still trying to forgive him after the events of lesson 16.

Thank you for reading! (sorry it was a bit long lol)

Send me request on the next characher i would draw with the custom mc! ty again!

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Fun fact about my agender ass I fully believed that gender identity did not exist until I was like fourteen

Like I had not experienced it so I assumed nobody else had. Now I know that gender, the gender binary, gender roles, are all social constructs, but from my understanding, gender identity isn't. Many many people are born with a gender identity in their brain, and sometimes it is the one they are expected to have, and sometimes it isn't, and sometimes it changes over time, and sometimes it develops over time, but most people have some gender identity in some way.

I, as well as some other people, just, don't.

And I had no way of knowing that anyone else experienced this. I really thought it was just a game everyone agreed to play. You get assigned a blue pinny or a yellow pinny in gym class and that's that. It kinda sucks but that's the game. It's not like "blue pinny" is a part of your identity, it's just an arbitrary assignment. You might wish you were on the yellow pinny team, because they get a head start in the dodgeball game, but you don't identify as a yellow pinny team member. And that is exactly how I saw, and still see my own gender.

And I have to apologize for this but this resulted in, when I was young, transphobia. It wasn't the violent kind you often see today, but it was dismissive and distasteful. Obviously I'm not proud of it. But I thought "how the fuck can you identify as a gender aside from your AGAB? Nobody "identifies" as anything you just take the assignment and go so ObViOuSlY it's made up." And I was talking to my sister about this and was like "I mean if you woke up in an alternate universe where you were a man, it would be no issue at all, right? I mean aside from having to get used to different body parts and being treated differently, it would be fine" and she was like "no???? Tf??? I'd be really upset!"

And that right there rocked my fucking shit and turned my world upside down. Anyway I learned a lot since then and I support everyone and their gender identities now, obviously, as it was over a decade ago. I realized that "I guess I'm a girl because I was born that way and I don't care enough to change it, even though I literally hate being perceived as a girl I'd hate being perceived as any other gender just as much" doesn't actually make me cis (shock!!) This is also why I much prefer the term agender to nonbinary. I've been asked if I'm nonbinary when I say I'm agender, and I know some agender people identify as nonbinary (power to you!) But to me, "non-binary" feels like a gender identity that is. Well. Nonbinary lol. It's like asking an atheist "so you have a non-Abrahamic faith?" Like no they don't have any faith at all. I don't have any gender identity at all. That's how I see it anyway.

But all this to say being agender is weird. And while I'm about as allo as they come, I can relate to asexual people in a lot of ways.

It's like there are these boxes and everyone else can see them, and everyone else can exist in them comfortably, and sometimes people have to change the shape of their box but at the end of the day, it'll fit them. But I can't see the boxes, yet I've been put inside one, and everyone else can see it. I don't want to change the shape of my box, it wouldn't make a difference. I just don't want to be in this box at all. I can't see it, I keep bumping into the walls. I'm glad when the boxes make other people happy, but all I want is to get rid of it. And while it's freeing to identify as agender within myself, to start using any pronouns instead of exclusively she/her, I know that everyone else can still see the box. If they didn't see me as a woman, they'd just see me as something else, some other box, and that's not any better.

And I'm so tired.

[pearls1wis]

warning: translated by Google, so you may not understand some sentences. I'm sorry.

this thought came to my mind in the evening when I was having dinner with my parents. then I forgot about it, and now, lying in bed, I remembered it again (and thank God (I’m an atheist:)))

I want an au in which King Tony decides that childhood is over and it's time for his son to start preparing harder for his ascension to the throne, so he asks Steve, his terrifyingly correct assistant in government affairs, to find teachers for the prince. teachers are needed in a foreign language, history and fencing (the prince had studied many of these before, but all this was at a more basic level). Steve suggests his friend, a traveler with extensive experience communicating with foreigners. the purpose of his friend’s travels is precisely history, and as for fencing, his friend always had talent and on his travels he came across many people who wanted to rob him (after killing him, of course). the king agrees, especially since this is Steve (reminder: the king’s very pedantic assistant), then there is nothing to worry about. However, Tony regrets it much faster than he expected. more precisely, he did not think that he would regret it at all.

***

Tony stands at the window, watching his son. he does excellent work and this is a reason to be proud, but after class, Peter collapses and sits on the ground. and it’s not scary - the load is considerable and it’s normal to get tired, but as soon as Barnes sits down next to him and puts his palm on his son’s knee, the king’s hand immediately clenches into a fist. Steve notices this, although Tony's back was to him.

-You have strange friends, Rogers.

- Why is this?

- you said he was quite cold, but here I see him laughing and rejoicing.

- I think Peter just found an approach to him. children are our everything.

- Why didn’t you have children yourself?

they are having a playful skirmish. Tony retreats to his desk, returning to business of state. Steve leans on the wall by the window and occasionally glances down, answering Tony’s questions.

and there below, on the grass, Barnes slides his hand higher, along the prince’s chest, reaches his neck and weakly squeezes, pulling the prince towards himself. he clings to the teacher with enviable dexterity, burying his fingers in his hair.

***

I would like the fanfic to have a lot of secrets. so that nothing is said directly and immediately, but so that only after time the meaning of the words comes through.

and I really want a finale without an exact ending. This is still the Middle Ages and a man loving a man, not only a taboo, no one ever even suspected it. however, connections between the characters should not be ruled out either. i need an ending that will give hope, but at the same time very limiting in our fantasies. i need secrets. secrets at every turn(for example, I really want Aunt May not to be present for almost the entire fanfic and to appear at the end and after her appearance the reader understands that most of the words that Peter said are exactly what May put into him. it is necessary for everyone to feel that even though they didn’t talk about May, she was there all this time. this would show what an important role she played in Peter’s life (I haven’t figured out which one yet:( ))

[xxchromies]

Rethinking antinatalism

I've been thinking more about antinatalism and like...I do stand by a lot of what I said. But I realized something. The truth is that there are so many things, so many ways of thinking that just aren't practical in the real world but people believe in them because they're thinking abstractly. And antinatalism is just another one of those. Idk if that makes sense.

Basically, I realize that there really AREN'T any non-selfish reasons for someone to have children. And you CAN'T consent to being born, so I suppose that does technically make it unethical. So I can see where antinatalists are coming from. And they're ambivalent about humans dying out because "nothing actually matters" and as an atheist I think they are technically correct! Some of my haters are getting it twisted, they think I want people to have kids even if they don't want any (I literally said I don't in the first line but APPARENTLY it still wasn't clear enough). But I DON'T think that and I don't know why anyone ever would!

My whole thing is that antinatalism is one of those ideologies that doesn't take real life into account. It doesn't take human nature into account. People feel a biological drive to reproduce, and yes, that biological drive can be overridden but we only have so much control. And also because I do still think it makes you antisocial to a degree. All these people claim that they are antinatalists because they have compassion for the human race, but some of them sneer at literal children and mock them. Even though they know that children don't consent to being born. And also, their arguments are illogical in many ways. The idea that the absence of pain is automatically better than the presence of joy is subjective, and that's just a fact. Basically, I think it's an ideology that comes from thinking about things too hard, and it inevitably alienates you from the people around you. And as much as mothers suffer under our patriarchal system, I still think motherhood and creating life are amazing.

All that being said, there are a lot of ideologies that don't take real life into account. They imagine a future that simply cannot exist. I am against communism and prison abolition for these reasons. But then, I'm a vegetarian! Because I think killing other sentient beings is wrong. But I KNOW that we are "wired" to eat meat. My hope is that everyone's desire for peace and humane treatment will override their natural desire to eat meat. That their logic will overcome their biology. I know that's a lofty idea. But that doesn't stop me from hoping.

In December 2022, when Alex Jones' trial was getting attention, I got curious about why people thought the shooting was fake. This led to a deep dive which naturally led to me learning more about the shooter himself. This was my first exposure to antinatalism. I think finding out about it in this way definitely led to a negative bias if I'm being honest. Hearing a MURDERER talk about how the propagation of life was inherently evil, well, how was I not supposed to conclude that it was a fucked up ideology? He also said that the only reason people are traumatized by rape and pedophilia is because society tells them these things should be traumatizing. These are clear examples of how thinking of things in an abstract sense, without considering the actual human emotions and lived experience behind them, can turn you into an actual fucking psychopath. And so naturally I concluded that antinatalism was the same way. And coming on here and seeing a surprising number of people share the same viewpoints frightened me. Then again, the shooter was also a vegan, so by that logic veganism/vegetarianism is terrible as well and I'm being a hypocrite.

I still can't help but feel an ingrained disturbance when it comes to antinatalism. But I don't think the majority of antinatalists, especially the ones who are also radical feminists, are evil people. You guys just have an ideology that is too abstract and is also somewhat cartoonish. I don't know. Just don't have kids if you don't want any. And please be respectful towards women with children. They can't go back in time and stop their children from being born. And be respectful towards children! Since they didn't consent to being born!

[youremyheaven]

Heloo admin ji! You fav desi anon this side (lol)

I can't believe I keep crying about how not more is talked about Anuradha and then boom! I saw your post and now I wanna cry 🤣🤣

One thing that I want to say to everyone reading this is just that everyone has a different interpretation of the same thing. I'm not taking sides but what I want to highlight is I might pick on different themes and someone else on different themes while analysing the same nakshtra Or anything in general. There's no harm in listening to the other person. Especially if you're self assured about who you are.

Disclaimer: Some of this may trigger y'all although I like to put it in the least offensive way possible

Now coming to the post- where shall I start, Saturn is seen as traditional and stoic. As a Saturn woman I tried very hard to be able to fit in with the ongoing trends that talked about challenging societal beliefs about traditional gender norms. But I authentically always saw myself as more of a traditional woman. Which is something I felt ashamed of. If that makes sense? And honestly Tate's content triggered me a lot (not that I was a subscriber but ofc he's in everyone's feed at this pt. lol) not only because I felt most of it was BS but also because at times I felt like hey I actually want a traditional household but not the picture that he was painting. I just want a normal guy who'll be stable, loyal and caring and ofc I never expect things that I'm not willing to give so it goes both ways. Having said that Saturnians may not be everyone's cup of tea coz we need to be sure about what we're getting into all the time. There's no room for uncertainty imo. Which can go both ways. Similarly being traditional can go towards the extreme. Something that I feel you covered in the post.

End note- We all have a good and bad side. The whole point is some people with some placements end up being on the other spectrum at times or like totally in the way they choose to live while some of us consciously realise where we can change. So my love to you all (non Saturnians included 😂❤)

P.S.- Sorry for the biggest rant of the century.

One of my old failed talking stages was an Anuradha Moon man and he had a very strict gym + diet routine + he was studying for his CA and was super disciplined and strict with himself in general. He got shit done and he was super thorough. He always made fun of podcast bros like Andrew Tate. He was a very staunch atheist and was one of those annoying people who thought anybody who had an ounce of faith was an illogical unscientific cretin and he was super aggressive with his beliefs? He made fun of me for praying 😭 It was so crazy to me how he thought Andrew was an asshole but he turned around and imposed his worldview on others without second thought. He also criticised feminism for making girls think they have to do everything men do to "be equal" and he was also super into traditional gender roles. He spoke about how women these days don't "behave like women" 🤮🤢🤮🤢etc

He also spoke about how important marriage was to him and he'd "joke" about how he'd keep me in place 🫠 after marriage? He was obsessed with being rich and would brag about his sneaker collection and if I ever complained about anything, he'd say that "people like me have real problems, you're just spoilt" 😤 I just think the nature of Saturn is that whatever they believe in, they take it to extremes. If they're religious, they'll be extremely religious but like this guy who wasn't, he was an extreme atheist. Saturn energy can make someone restricted to their worldview.

Being traditional can be a wonderful thing and I consider myself pretty traditional as well (too traditional for some crowds but too "modern" for other crowds) and many women I admire are also traditional (I'll explore more in part 2 ) but finding a traditional man who is more normal?? (Lol) is a struggle 🥲bc a lot of men just think being an alpha asshole = being traditional. The spirituality of Saturn is very inspiring as well and evolved Saturnians are so 🫶✨

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Frank, can you tell me the story of what led you to study what you studied in grad school?

I've already told you about my uncle, Anton P. N., and his two great works, Time Cube and Planet 3001. (No, you don't know about Planet 3001. I don't either. It's just as well that it doesn't exist.) So, you know that he was a fool, but he wasn't always one. He was a farmer, a man who loved the land, who loved horses, the earth, the sun, the rain, everything he could see around him, down here on the earth. But then he had a psychotic break, in his 50s, and now he's an old man, though he'll never be 50 again.

Anton is my father's brother, so he and my father are close in the way only brothers can be. Unlike his brother, my father is self-effacing, pragmatic, gregarious. You don't ask him about his childhood; he'll tell you about other things. You don't ask him why he turned down every academic job offer he ever got -- and he was offered many -- because he couldn't bear to be away from his children. You don't ask him what he really thinks about the ethics of his research. You don't ask him if he still believes the things he tells the world -- if he believes he can mathematically prove that prayer is effective, or that he can prove God is both real and moral. He doesn't believe any of those things.

That is what you learn from my father. From Anton, you learn that Anton has the right to say what he thinks, even if it's wrong. Everyone else may hold their tongue, or write their thoughts on a blog, which is what my father would have done if he hadn't liked teaching and been so good at it. But for Anton, anyone who has an unpopular belief has a sacred right to declare that belief loudly and clearly, and not hide it.

Even though it's nonsense. Even though it's crackpot nonsense.

Like, you know the difference between a crackpot and a heretic. A heretic thinks the church is wrong about God. The crackpot thinks the church is wrong about physics. Because the cracks are there, and it's right there in front of us, and you can see the cracks, look, here they are, and this is a crack in the church's foundation, this is a crack in all of science, in everything!

That is the difference between a heretic and a crackpot. There is no difference between a heretic and an atheist. But the crackpot wants to do something about the situation, and the heretic doesn't. Because the heretic is like us, he is afraid of the church, and the crackpot is crazy enough to go up and shout at them, to stand before the pope and tell him about the crack, until he gets it, until he feels like throwing up, or running away, and isn't this the point? Isn't that the point? The church can't be right about everything, and you, you have the courage to be the one to tell them. You have the courage and the will to save the world.

Only it turns out to be nonsense, because, well, it is nonsense. And the people who believe in it -- the mad ones, the real mad ones -- they don't care, or they don't think they care. Because they don't believe anything can be wrong with their belief.

If you have a theory, and you think it's actually true, then anyone who disagrees with you is not just incorrect, they are evil, they are killing everyone on earth. How dare they. How dare you. How dare anyone.

Here's the thing. Suppose your theory is something like "methane is a life-saving gas that heals people." Like, it really is that extreme. There's no "extremism is bad" because you're dealing with extremists, and anything that is not "save the methane people" is by definition evil. It's a fundamental moral gap, a chasm you can't fathom, that the other side is willing to keep talking to you about the methane theories and the health effects and the politics instead of immediately declaring your every utterance irrelevant and running as far away from you as possible. It's something that would strike anyone else as deeply absurd -- and the absurdities multiply when you hear about "the new methane crisis," and the "methane gases," and it turns out that the "methane crisis" was a scam, and the news is not reporting on this, but on "the latest news about the methane crisis."

Now suppose that instead of being "extremists," these people were just random madmen and lunatics, people who were already crazy before they got this theory, and now their crazy idea has taken over and it is still crazy, but they think it is you who is crazy, that you are trying to prove a negative, that you will not admit the truth even when you are threatened with death. Wouldn't that be dreadful, and wouldn't you feel like running away from it, for the sake of your health and sanity? And wouldn't you feel especially bad that this was happening to people who, no matter how crazy, were still fundamentally innocent?

This is what happened to Anton.

One day, after the break, he wandered off from his farm, and as he was walking he started writing on the ground with a stick. At first it was words in English, but then it was words in some other language, in a script he didn't recognize, and then it was no longer words, but ideas. He began to feel an exhilaration from the beautiful chaos of it all, the worms under the ground turning, the crumbling of the schism. The world was falling apart, and he was making it fall apart, thrilling in the process.

And then, after a long while, he felt a strange compulsion to go to the nearby town, this time with a permanent marker, and write on the walls of his favorite store. He didn't like the place much. They sold New Age shit, candles and crystals and the like. But this was good -- this would teach the world something!

He wrote Reality is incomprehensible and only God knows the truth on the window. Reality is to be rejected on the shelves. God is reality on the ceiling. God made reality on the floor, in a careful circle, so that the people would have to stand in it.

And then, when he had gone home, he saw a TV news report about it. They had the owner, a woman called Jennipher H -- not the kind of person who you would expect to be on TV, small and plain and still uncomfortable with cameras even after all these years, her voice as flat as a suburbanite's voice is ever likely to be, and yet with a kind of unexpected, magical gravity about her -- and they had interviewed her, along with some official-looking city council guy, and someone from a local church, and both of these last were mad.

Mad, as Anton understood the term, not merely wrong. Wrong, because they denied a minor miracle in the Garden of Eden -- not that it was bad, but that it didn't exist. No, mad, because they denied the basic premises on which their culture was built. Mad because they were trying to impose their own sick, literalist beliefs on the rest of the world. The man of the church was so mad that he used an ellipsis, ???????????, in his statement, but not even as a joke. That was how mad he was. That was his worldview.

And no one cared that this church leader was saying this. No one, besides Anton. But Anton didn't count. In the world of the rest of the world, there was only one language, and that language was English. If someone said something in a language that was not English, no one would listen.

That night, after the news, there was a party at his parents' house. They knew something was wrong with him. They never mentioned it, but then, they didn't have to mention it. They were at a party, so they just talked to each other and chatted on their phones about how things were going, and sipped wine and chewed on the mystery of the break, the breach, the thing that broke his mind, the thing that no one could say the name of.

(No one mentioned that one, either.)

But