#i feel sick and guilty and angry when i watch the news and i feel it when im on instagram and i feel it here and

[madizenmadi]

the state of the world and assholes in it really truly genuinely make me want to cry i cant even enjoy social media anymore

[darkbluekies]

A little game

Yandere!king oc x fem!reader

Summary: Edmund going insane when he finds you hurt and unconscious and swears to kill everyone in town.

Warnigns: behading, insanity, blood, guns, abuse, arson, everything like that

Word count: 2.3k

His eyes wander over your lifeless body. Numerous signs of brutal harm can be seen on your body. He can't even imagine what you've been put through, and when he tries he feels sick.

“Kill them all.”

His secretary widens his eyes.“But … your majesty-”

Edmund turns to him with eyes burning with rage. “Do I speak another language?!” he screams. “Kill them all! Every single one of them!”

Maids look at each other in fear, the secretary gulps. Edmund can feel his body tremble. He wants to grab the glass bottle on the bedside table, break it and plunge it deep into someone's, anyone's, heart. Wants to see blood, wants to kill. 

His hammering heart thumps in his ears. A chanting “kill them all, make them pay” repeats in his head, sounding better and better each time.

It all had happened so quickly, and yet so slow. You were kidnapped on a town visit and hurt by someone, badly. A knight had found you after hours of search lifeless in the forest, body torn and beaten. Edmund had thought that you had died. The few moments of uncertainty had felt like hours. Millions of thoughts had passed through his head. What would he do if you were dead? Could he live without you? Why did it hurt so much? Why couldn't he breathe? Was he dead too? Why was he alone again?

But now he was only angry. Someone had hurt you … and the entire town hid the truth, protected the culprit. Edmund didn't care who had done what, everyone was guilty. They are no individuals, only a herd of characterless peasants. And he hates them all.

He wants to touch your face, but he doesn’t dare to. He’s scared that if he touches you, he’s going to kill you. His touch is deadly. You’re already so fragile, so vulnerable. 

“Take families, one by one”, Edmund starts, still shaking, “and bring them here.”

“What are you going to do, your majesty?” the secretary asks, sounding worried. 

“Give this castle a fucking paintjob.”

His hands are bloody — they’re never bloody. He never gets down and dirty, always watched. His heart is beating even quicker, but he can’t seem to get enough. He can’t get rid of the unimaginable anger he feels. It’s like a beast has taken control over his mind and soul and given him a new unclenched blood thirst. Every time he lets his fist make contact with a poor peasants body he sees your broken face in front of him. It makes him hit them more, with even more force. He enjoys it, he finds. 

“Your majesty, please!” the man he’s holding begs. “Please spare me, I’m sorry!”

“What are you sorry for?” Edmund questions harshly. “What can your filthy little peasant heart be sorry for, huh? Was it you who abused my wife?!”

“No! No, your majesty, I didn’t-”

His voice echoes across the court yard. “Then who did?! Who was it?! Who are you covering up for?!”

Before he has the time to answer, Edmund has thrown the man against the castle’s wall with such force that he cracks his skull open on the harsh, sharp stones. Blood splatter. Edmund’s heavy breaths are enough to cause his head to spin. He runs a bloody hand through his black hair. Bodies are lined up against the castle’s walls, stacked on top of each other.

Edmund turns to the knights standing a few meters away from him. 

“If no one fesses up I will kill the entire town!” he shouts. “Every single one!”

“Your majesty, if you kill everyone, who will you rule over?” a knight asks. 

In a swift motion, Edmund grabs a gun from the nearest knight and shoots him. 

“Does anyone else have idiotic questions?!” he screams, directing the gun around. “Huh?! Ask them now so we can get them over with!”

To show that he’s not kidding, he shoots a bullet straight up into the air. None of the knights answer. Edmund scoffs and throws the gun to the side. He catches a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the window and flinches. He didn’t need his mirror to let him know that he’s drenched in blood and sweat. The look inn his eyes is what is startled by. He looks … animalistic. There’s no humanity left in his ice blue eyes anymore. He can feel himself drift into insanity, but he can’t stop it — maybe he doesn't want to.

“Bring the next group”, he demands.

“They are fleeing into the woods, your majesty”, a knight says. 

“Then stop them?!”

“How, your majesty?”

He thinks for a moment. Head spinning, heart thumping in his ears, tast of blood in his mouth. 

“Burn it all down”, he decides. “Burn every possible way out. Burn them in, if necessary.”

The knights nod. Edmund turns back to the poor body on the bloody gravel and picks him up by the collar, carrying him to the others. 

“Isn’t it pretty? The color?”

His secretary tilts his head as he studies the flames in the distance. “I suppose so, but the smell is God awful.”

“Smells like victory to me.”

Edmund turns away from the window, eyes darting to all the things scattered all over the floor. His office is near destroyed. Things lay broken everywhere after his tantrums. He used to value his materialistic obsessions highly, but now they’re not worth a dime to him. Nothing is. Only you. He has to avenge you rightfully. 

“How is my darling doing?” he asks and gives the secretary a stern gaze. “You know to tell me the second she awakes, right? If you don’t, I will drag you out on the court yard and put you with the other bodies.”

“Of course, your majesty, I will come running right away”, the secretary answers. “You can rest assure. I won’t betray you. Besides, her skin is healing. You won’t have to see her grotesque marks.”

Edmund nods. “I want to see her now. To see if you are telling the truth.”

The secretary leads Edmund through the large, dark halls. The people passing him makes his blood boil. They haven’t done anything, but he’s ready to lash out in case anyone gives him a foul look. Anyone showing any signs of distrust need to be killed. Roughly. He will not be made a fool.

A maid opens the door to your shared chamber and Edmund walks over to the bed. For a few seconds, he doesn’t believe that it’s you sleeping under the white sheets. You look so awfully small in the big bed, so unbelievably broken. Your skin looks so weird compared to the white sheets … washed out, somehow. He hates it, absolutely despises it all. 

Edmund sits down on the side of the bed and takes your hand in his, sighing heavily at the state of you. Seeing your frail figure makes him even madder. Why aren’t you waking up? What have that creature done to you to make you look like this? His secretary was right, however, you seem to be doing a bit better. Your body heals. So why aren’t you waking up?

“I will punish them”, he whispers and kisses your forehead. It must be one of the sweetest gestures he has done since you disappeared and came back in whatever state you are in now. “I promise. I love you so much, my darling, I will make them pay.”

The guillotine is working over time. The blade is covered in blood, heads everywhere. Edmund has realized that all people about to be beheaded has either of three possible reactions. Pleading and crying, begging for forgiveness, and emotionless and accepting. He likes to guess who will have what reaction, and when he guesses right he gives himself a clap on the shoulder. He’s standing on the balcony, leaning forward against the railing with his arms resting on it. Smiling. It’s all a big game for him. Like how hurting you and covering up the deed is a big joke to them. But now he’s the hunter, and they’re the pray. They are the punchline in his joke. Not the other way around. His blood boils when he thinks about what the ones hurting you must have been thinking while performing such a merciless act. Were they thinking about him, about how mad he would be? Thinking: “we will have caused a reaction to form in him but he will not know who have done it”, in that case they were wrong. Everyone is punished for their stupid game.

“Please, please!” a woman screams, about to be beheaded. “I know who it was!”

Edmund freezes. 

“Wait!” he shouts to the man holding the rope controlling the blade. 

Edmund hurries down to the court yard and walks over to the woman with her head in the locked hole. He grabs her chin roughly, trying to direct her head up without luck. 

“Who was it?” Edmund spits. “Tell me their names.”

She seems to have lost all speaking ability when nearby Edmund. All color is drained off her face. She faints. Angrily, Edmund lets go of her chin, grabs the rope and lets the blade fall. Her head falls down on the gravel and rolls towards the others. No one says anything.

“Your majesty!” he hears his secretary shout. “The queen is awake!”  

Edmund feels his entire body go numb. He spins around, looking at the secretary in the doorway with large, shocked eyes. He runs after. 

You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake.

“Get out of my fucking way!” Edmund growls and shoved a maid into the wall when she tries opening the door for him.  

You’re laying in the bed, but your eyes are open! Edmund runs over and throws himself at you, hugging you tightly. You start to cry the second he wraps his arms around you and brings your face into his shoulder. He can’t believe that he’s holding you again, to feel your body tremble under his fingertips. He wants to cry. 

“It’s okay”, he whispers and caresses your hair as you sob against his neck. “Everything is okay, my dear. I’m here now, I will not let anything happen to you.”

He can feel his entire body relax. He has you back. Your shaking body feels so … alive. 

“Does it hurt?” he asks. 

You nod against his shoulder and try to pull back, out of his embrace. He doesn’t let you, he only moves you closer. What if you slip away when he lets you go?

“Not yet”, he whispers. “Stay with me a bit longer.”

His hands grab at you, trying to reassure himself that you are, indeed, alive. 

When he does let you go, your eyes are red with tears. He puts his hand on your cheek, wiping your tears carefully with his thumb. 

“I’m so sorry”, he mumbles and feels a stone in his throat. “I really am.”

“Your hand smells like blood …”, you whisper.

He becomes cold as your eyes start to widen in fear.  

“No, no, no!” he says quickly and grabs your face in his hands. “I will stop. Is that what you want? Hm? I-I’ll stop, I’ll show mercy to the ones left if you just give me the name of who … who hurt you. Okay? Please?

The name you give is one he’s familiar with. It’s suddenly clear why everyone wanted to shield the guilty one. His father is one of the richest men in the town. Edmund has yet to kill him. 

“I will take care of him”, he says. “Everything he did to you, I will do to him. I promise. Not more, not less.”

Your shaking hand takes his. Edmund gulps and lifts your intertwined to his lips and kisses. 

“I love you”, he whispers. 

“What is that?” you ask and point towards the forest.”Why is it so black?”

Edmund hesitates and hugs your other hand tighter. They have cleaned the entire court yard and scrubbed the walls so that you won’t have to see any of the horror that has occurred while you were unconscious, but he can’t replace the forest with a new one.

“A wildfire happened while you were unconscious”, he lies. “It was just fixed. Nothing to worry about.”

He continues to walk with you, hand in hand, through the large corridors. He’s on his way down to the dungeon where a certain someone is waiting for him. Edmund’s hands itch when he thinks about what he’s going to do to him. He can’t wait. 

You suddenly hug him. He flinches, but is quick to wrap his arms around you, to secure you against his body. You fit so well against him 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. 

“Nothing”, you say, sounding shy. “Thank you for saving me. I think that I would be dead without you.”

“I would kill everyone in this world for you. You know that.”

But hearing you say ‘thank you’ to him, after everything hes done for — and towards — you causes his stomach to to fill with butterflies. He really would kill everyone for you. Over and over again. 

“I’ll have to leave you here”, he says as you reach the stairs down to the dungeon. “I have something to do. Will you wait for me here?”

“What are you going to do?” you ask hesitantly. 

Edmund smiles, showing off his teeth. “Play.”

[battymommastuff]

Tw: you don’t have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable but could you do the bat boys with a reader with sh scars maybe on their thighs. You really don’t have to though! Also I love your writing!! Have a good day/night!

Perfect Imperfections

Batmom x Batfamily

TW: Mentions of miscarraige, self harm, and depression!!

Masterlist

Why was she so patient? Why was she so insistent? These questions kept replaying in Damian's head as he angrily paced the empty batcave. He'd been living at Wayne manor for nearly a year now, and he wasn't having the best time adjusting. His new home life was a struggle. He wouldn't admit it, but he hated having to share his father with his step mother. He also hated how kind you were to him. Talia never treated him with such kindness, so why are you doing the same? Being the mother figure in the house, you should be strict...and harsh with him. 

Instead you were the opposite, and it made him so angry. The second thing he was struggling to adjust to was his school. He was heavily encouraged by his "siblings" to make friends, but no one seemed to want to be friends with him. Instead he was met with judgemental looks, and hushed whispers. Damian hated his new life, and he wanted to go back to his old one. At least he had some respect there. 

All of this led to today's event. You were walking through the manor in search of Damian. Bonding with him had been more of a struggle than any of your other children. You wanted to get to know him and find some connection between then two of you. You found him sitting on his bed crying softly, "Damian?" You called out, startling the boy. He turned towards you with puffy eyes, and a runny nose, "What's wrong?" You asked and reached out to hug him. 

Damian jumped up and put as much distance between the two of you as he could in his room, "It's nothing! Just leave me alone!" He snapped before running from the room. Now he was angrily pacing the Batcave. This sadness and loneliness that he felt made him want to vomit. He constantly felt like a weight was on his chest, and he couldn't get it to go away. Damian wanted to scream...cry...destroy things. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. 

What he didn't know was that you related to him in that way. He didn't figure it out until a week later. It was movie night at the Wayne Manor. Instead of being on patrol, everyone crammed into the living room with their popcorn and drinks. You were the last one to arrive, and you were wearing pajama shorts with a Superman nightshirt on. That causes your husband to pout for a while. Damian noticed several scars on your thighs. They went from the top of your knee and disappeared under your shorts. He could tell that they weren't from battle. No one else seemed to notice or question them. 

All throughout the movie, Damian's focus was on your scars. What did that to you? Was it self-inflicted? Impossible! You always seemed so happy to do something like that to yourself. He then looked back at your face. Did you feel the same things that he felt? 

><><><><><><><><><><

"Y/n?" You looked up from your book to see Damian standing in front of you, "The other night...when we were watching the movie. I noticed the scars on your legs." You looked down to your legs which were covered by your pants. You'd completely forgotten that Damian hadn't ever seen them before, "How did you get them? Was it from a fight?" He asked nervously, and felt guilty for even asking in the first place. 

You let out a shaky breath as you set your book down, "I gave them to myself. It was several years ago..." You felt sick to your stomach as you remembered that time. The mental hell you had been in, and was still fighting to this day, "Your father, and I had found out that I was pregnant. I was two months in when I lost it." A tear slipped from your eye as you remembered the pain you felt that night, "After that night, I couldn't eat...I couldn't sleep. All I could do was cry and cry until I felt numb..." Damian moved closer to you, and sat down on the couch with you, "So numb that I wanted to feel something, some feeling that made me feel alive. So I cut myself...over and over." You wiped another tear from your face and sniffled. 

"What made you stop?" 

"It was about a year after adopting Dick. He was such a happy little boy, and he wanted to show me his report card. He didn't know it was the anniversary of us losing the baby, and I didn't know that he was coming home early. He walked in on me cutting my thighs." Damian felt his eyes start to water. He didn't know what came over him, but he launched himself onto you. A hug so tight, it might be choking you. You hugged him back and couldn't help but cry with him once you felt his tears soak into your shirt. You finished telling him the story. About how you started seeing a therapist, and taking medicine to help. Also about how you started getting better despite the several setbacks you had along the way. 

He then opened up to you about how he felt, and you along with the rest of his family helped him get better as they did for you. Four years later, he was walking towards the back of the manor with a bouquet of flowers in his arm. He stopped at a small headstone with other flowers surrounding it. The headstone for the unborn Wayne child. His potential older sibling. Damian set the flowers down before he crouched down in front of the stone, "I learned that there are an infinite number of universes out there, and I know there's one where we got to meet you. This universe never got the chance to, but Ummi told me that you sent us all to her. If that's true, then thank you. For giving me the best mother, and supporter I could ever want."

[drxmxss]

Just Once | Taeyong x Reader / Jaehyun x Reader

this was requested !! tysm again ❤️ i hope you like it!!

summary: jaehyun and the reader are dating.. but what happens when taeyong develops a crush?

warnings: cheating (sorry jaehyun 😔), taeyong is a little pervy/kinda subby, smut, unprotected sex (do not do this!!) begging, probably some more but I forgot.

please excuse any spelling errors! thanks and enjoy! 😊

To be fair, Taeyong saw you first. He still remembers the too low top you wore to the bar that showed way too much skin for the middle of winter. Nonetheless, Taeyong was enthralled by you. You were just so gorgeous to him and he swore it was love at first sight. He was trying to psych himself up to go over and talk to you but as soon as he turned around to walk towards you, Jaehyun was already talking to you.

Taeyong already knew his chance was already out the window, and drowned out his sorrows with another drink as he watched both of you from afar. He knew how Jaehyun was, he knew how easy it was for him to pick up girls and you already had a sparkle in your eyes just after a few minutes of talking to him. It was over before it even started.

However, Taeyong also knew his best friend had a habit of dropping girls as quickly as he picked them up, which shouldn’t have given Taeyong as much comfort as it did. At least he would only have to watch this one time.

Wrong.

Per usual the universe held a personal grudge against Taeyong and soon enough Jaehyun would tell him that you two had actually began dating one day at lunch.

“We just really hit it off.” Jaehyun told him “She’s really funny and you already saw how gorgeous she was. I was an idiot if I let her go you know?”

Taeyong hummed, using every bit of strength in him not to throw a fork at Jaehyun’s head. He knew it was stupid to be jealous, to be angry that his best friend had found someone he really liked. But why did it have to be you?

So when Jaehyun started bringing you around their shared apartment more and more, Taeyong was slowly going insane. He couldn’t ignore you or be rude to you. 1. He didn’t have the strength to do so. 2. If he did, it wouldn’t take much for you to figure out he was actually in love with you, he’s read all the books. The only option that made sense was to be your friend. In a weird way it made him feel guilty, he had all these feelings for his best friend’s girlfriend and now he’s trying to be friends with her? He was not a good person.

But all of that didn’t matter once he was with you. Sometimes you would come to the apartment before Jaehyun got home and Taeyong would take the opportunity to talk with you, whether it be about your day or the new show you were watching. Even when Jaehyun came home, you two would still be talking. Thankfully Jaehyun wasn’t particularly jealous, so Taeyong was grateful to still be in your life, even if you weren’t his.

That was until late one night, he got a message from you.

I miss you.

[Image]

Taeyong choked once he opened the message. It was a picture of you. Topless. On his phone. On his screen. Topless. No shirt. Boobs. On his screen. Your boobs. He short circuited. (He also never felt blood rush to his cock so fast.)

What should he say??? You had obviously picked the wrong number, this was definitely meant for Jaehyun. Taeyong felt sick.

Y/N did you check who you were sending this to?

Taeyong replied and threw his phone on his bed, slapping his hands over his face, embarrassed. What was he gonna do now? It was already hard enough pretending he was already thinking about how your tits looked under your shirt when you talked to him about the new cookie recipe you tried. Now he had nothing to imagine! He was so fucked.

Oh my god Taeyong. I’m sorry don’t look!!

Don’t tell Jaehyun he might kill you.

Taeyong chuckled at your response. God you were cute. Nope, he told himself, don’t think about how cute you are.

Trust me I won’t tell him. No worries.

Taeyong sighed as he laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Perfect. Great, the girl of his dreams just sent him a super hot boob picture and now he has to act like he doesn’t care.

Unless.

No, Taeyong thought, don’t say anything else just pretend it didn’t happen. It’s your best friend’s girlfriend. Taeyong fights with himself, trying to ignore the throbbing in his cock and the nagging feeling he has to say one more thing to you.

Fuck it, he thinks, it won’t do any harm. You can just ignore him.

Taeyong picks up his phone and it feels like he’s typing forever before he sends one message to you.

You’re beautiful btw. Sorry I looked.

-

You stare at the message on your screen. Trying to process what Taeyong has said.

You should be angry right? Your boyfriend’s friend called you beautiful and admitted to looking at a picture of your boobs! That’s bad!

But why does it turn you on? Why do you feel flattered? You should be angry!

After a few minutes of back and forth you realize it doesn’t solve anything to just stare at a screen. You also don’t want this to continue through text, you should confront Taeyong about this! He can’t just say things like that.

So you call him.

After two rings, he picks up. You hear him breathing for a moment before hearing his voice. “Hello?”

“Taeyong?” You say, suddenly unable to think of words.

“Yeah y/n? Are you alright?” Taeyong says. You scoff. “Am I alright?” You repeat.

Silence. Taeyong doesn’t say anything.

“Y/N I’m sorry. Please let’s just forget this happened okay?” Taeyong whispers, like someone would be listening to your call. You don’t reply at first, still processing what to say.

“You think I’m beautiful?” You ask softly, you know it’s wrong but you have to know the answer. This is crazy, but you can’t help it.

Taeyong doesn’t answer you, so you ask again. “Taeyong, do you think I’m beautiful?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He finally says, and you notice he sounds a little breathless. “Have you looked in a mirror? You’re gorgeous.”

You chuckle once, “Taeyong you know you can’t just say things like that…”

“Why not huh?” He snaps back, “I’m so sick of this” you hear him grumble. You’re a little shocked at his reaction. “Sick of what?”

“Sick of pretending like I don’t think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Pretending like I just wanna be your friend. Pretending like I don’t think about you every fucking second of every damn day.” Taeyong confesses.

Without thinking, you hang up the phone. You immediately feel guilty and mean, but you don’t wanna hear anything else. Maybe he’s been drinking or something, he doesn’t know what hes saying. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and you’re gonna wake up tomorrow and everything will be normal.

You don’t know much, but you do know you are never ever no matter what forever ever going to tell Jaehyun about this.

-

“Did you send Taeyong a picture of your boobs?” Jaehyun asks you at lunch the next day.

Motherfucker.

You choke on your water. “What?”

“Taeyong, our friend, my roomate. Your boobs.” Jaehyun says slowly again, looking at you from across the table with a way too calm expression.

You want to crawl into a hole and die so bad right now, but instead you decide to look stupider. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You deny, looking away from Jaehyun.

“Y/N he showed me the message this morning. It was an accident obviously you don’t have to lie to me.” Jaehyun says, again way too calmly for your liking.

‘Showed me the message’ you replay in your mind. Did Taeyong show him the part where he said you were beautiful? What is wrong with that guy?

You try to process everything in your head while still looking at Jaehyun’s indifferent expression. What the hell is wrong with him too actually? Why isn’t he more upset with you?

“You don’t care?” You ask, “You look like you’re just reading the weather forecast to me. ‘It’s gonna rain today oh and also Taeyong saw your titties.’ Jaehyun smiles at you, “Well no it’s not that I don’t care.” He says.

“But?” You reply.

“But..” Jaehyun sighs “I know you. I know Taeyong. I know our relationship. Taeyong is very honest with me, always has been. He said you sent him the picture accidentally and he deleted it in front of me and thats it.”

Well he didn’t mention the phone call, whether that’s good or bad you don’t know yet. But you do know Jaehyun isn’t angry, which is good.

“I was so embarrassed..” You tell him, “It was meant for you I promise.” Jaehyun smiles softly at you again, “I know and it’s alright. Just try to be more careful yeah? Luckily this time it was Taeyong. If you had sent it to Mark it might’ve killed him.”

You both laugh, and you feel a little weight go off your shoulders. This was just a funny story to tell later, you think, Taeyong didn’t mean what he said.

You decide then and there you won’t think about it anymore.

-

Two weeks have passed since the incident, and Taeyong has not gotten over it. At all.

He feels like a sick loser, he kept the picture you sent rubbing his cock raw to it every night since. Sometimes twice. Or three times. Four. Who’s counting?

God he’s terrible. Jaehyun is one of his best friends and here he is looking at his girlfriend’s boobs.

To make matters worse, Jaehyun wasn’t even angry when Taeyong told him about what happened, he just laughed! Taeyong thought for sure he would get angrier, and when he didn’t he just felt guiltier.

On top of that, now Taeyong had to try even harder to pretend he wasn’t crazy about you. Like right now, at the stupid dinner he stupidly agreed to come to with you and Jaehyun because he didn’t want things to be weird. Which is impossible.

It was disgustingly hard for him not to stare at you. You had a cute little cooking apron on from when you prepared dinner for the three of you. Taeyong only watched your mouth as you and Jaehyun spoke, imagine what it would feel like wrapped around his-

“Taeyong?” Jaehyun’s voice sucked him back to reality, “Did you hear me?”

Taeyong felt his face get hot, embarrassed he shook his head “No I’m sorry. Long day at work I’m kind of out of it.”

“No worries man but unfortunately I just got a big emergency call from work.” Jaehyun said “I hate to cut dinner short but my boss was pretty pissed. You’ll help Y/N clean this up yeah?”

Oh no. Taeyong. Alone. With you. Oh no.

Oh yes.

NO! Bad thoughts bad thoughts!

“Y-yeah.” Taeyong murmured. “Of course.” He smiled softly at you, who nodded.

“Go on Jae.” You said in your sweet voice, making Taeyong already regret everything. “We’ll be here when you get back!”

Taeyong watched Jaehyun give you a kiss goodbye before hastily heading out the front door. Leaving you and him silent at the dining table. You look down at your food, playing with it.

“I’m sorry.” Taeyong blurts out, suddenly feeling hot again. You look up confused “What do you mean?”

“For what happened. And for telling Jaehyun before you.” Taeyong says, standing up quickly to put his plate in the sink. You shook your head “No worries. It was a mistake.” You said firmly. “We can just forget it.”

Taeyong suddenly felt his chest tighten, forget it? He sat down at the table again, this time closer to you. You looked up at him, slightly confused.

“What if..” He began “What if I don’t want to forget it Y/N?” What was he saying?! Taeyong couldn’t stop the words from coming out.

Your brows furrowed, what the hell was he trying to say? “What?” You said, scanning his face for any sign of a joke.

“I said, what if I don’t want to forget?” Taeyong said again, grabbing your hand softly. You froze up, he definitely wasn’t making a joke.

“Taeyong…we can’t. Jaehyun is-”

“Please can I kiss you?” Taeyong cut you off, “Please? I don’t care what Jaehyun will say, I told you that night I’m sick of pretending. Just once, one time please I won’t do anything you don’t want.” The words spilled out, and Taeyong immediately felt guilty. But he couldn’t help himself, he gripped your hand tighter.

“I…What? No!” You said, but you couldn’t pull your hand away. Really, you didn’t want to. But you cared for Jaehyun, this was his best friend.

Taeyong sighed, and dropped your hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I should’ve just dropped it, I just…” He trailed off.

You being stupid, couldn’t stop yourself from asking. “You just what?” Suddenly you felt like you had deja vu, this was becoming so reminiscent of that stupid phone call.

Taeyong looked at you, his face stern. Here goes nothing, he thought to himself. “I think I just love you, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what else to say. You could only stare at him.

“Y/N?” Taeyong said after a long time. You weighed out your options in your mind, not sure which direction to go after hearing him basically confess his love for you. What are you supposed to say?

Fuck it, you think.

“Taeyong kiss me.” You say, grabbing his hand again. Taeyong looks at you confused for a moment, before gripping your hand tightly and pulling you close to him.

And you’re kissing him. He’s kissing you. This is so fucked up. You’re kissing you’re boyfriends best friend, and you really like it. This is bad.

But also so good.

Taeyong pulls away from you face and leans down to kiss your neck softly. “Please let me taste you.” He says in your ear, making you gasp.

“Not here.” You reply, you feel your conscience scream at you to say no, but no feeling compares to that of Taeyong on your neck. “Your room.” You tell him.

Taeyong grins and scoops you up making you yelp, before carrying you to his room.

Taeyong’s room was dark, cozy pretty similar to Jaehyun’s you thought as he carried you in.

Jaehyun.. You feel your chest ache a little. You feel guilty, but being with Taeyong right now feels..almost perfect.

Your pulled out of your thoughts as Taeyong sits on his bed with you in his lap.

“Can I take this off?” He murmurs against your ear, gripping the hem of your dress. You nod, to which he replies by nearly tearing your dress off, leaving you in your underwear. You gasp, and Taeyong smiles at you. “Sorry I got a little carried away.” Before you can respond, he lays you down and stands up to remove his own shirt.

“Are you sure you’re still okay with this?” Taeyong asks you again, grabbing your ankles, hesitating.

“Yes..Don’t worry.” You reply, sitting up on your elbows to grab his hands and pull him in for another kiss.

He whimpers into your kiss, feverishly grabbing at the straps of your bra. “Please, let me take this off of you. And tell me if you’re ever uncomfortable please.”

You nod again, gasping as he practically scratches to get your bra off. Immediately he starts kissing down your bare chest, making you giggle. Immediately he takes one of your nipples in his mouth and nibbles softly. “Oh god.” You moan, grabbing his hair which makes him whimper below.

Taeyong continues his minstrations on your chest, all the while making you wetter as every time you would pull on his hair he whimpered, before pulling away to look at you.

His big black eyes were blown out with lust and he looked at you with so much love you thought it was cute, which felt almost wrong in the moment.

“I fucking love your tits baby. So perfect…”He mumbles, pushing your shoulders to have you lay flat on you back before going to raise your legs up and lean down in between them.

“I bet your pussy’s better huh..” Taeyong says, hooking his fingers into your waistband and pulling them down your legs and throwing them into a corner of the room. You start to feel self conscious as he stares down at you, but the feelings quickly subsides when you feel his fingers rub between your folds, making you gasp.

“Aw you got so wet for me…Just for me right?” Taeyong asks, slowly rubbing your clit making you whine underneath him. You take note of the possesive tone in his voice and decide thats an issue to tackle later as you nod, unable to speak with how perfect his fingers feel on you.

Taeyong smiles at you before finally diving down to kitten lick your folds, holding your thighs close to his face to feel all of you around him. You whine and pull on his hair again, making him moan into your messy cunt.

Everything feels like too much yet not enough, Taeyong eats you messily, and his iron grip in your prevents you from doing anything but grip his hair tigheter. All the while he’s moaning underneath you, and you start to wonder who’s louder..

“Taeyong.. cum. M’gonna cum.” You whisper, pulling up on his hair to grab his attention. (Literally.) Taeyong responds by fully sucking on your clit, and you feel the knot in your stomach burn before you immediately feel yourself come undone with a shout.

Taeyong pulls away from you, and you open your eyes to see his face wet with your arousal, and a drunken look on his face.

“That was hot, your pussy’s so gorgeous honey.” Taeyong says, making you giggle. You sit up to pull him in for another kiss, climbing into his lap, which you notice is soaked.

“Did you cum?” You ask, to which Taeyong turns his face away from you, redder than a fire hydrant.

“You just..you make me crazy Y/N.” Taeyong mutters, kissing your face and going down to nibble your neck. “Any man who’s ever been lucky enough to taste you should be busting in his pants like me.”

You laugh at his comment, wrapping your arms around his naked torso to kiss his cheek. “Well that’s flattering, but you’re not quitting on me yet right?”

“As long as you ride me.” Taeyong replies, making you pause. Jaehyun never had you ride him before, always wanting to be in control of the bedroom. You knew it wasn’t that big of a deal, but with Taeyong..it felt like it was.

“Okay.” You reply, pushing his shoulders down as he quickly takes off his pants.

Taeyongs cock stands tall, harder than ever even though he just came a few minutes ago. You notice he’s a little thicker and longer than Jaehyun, which makes you clench as you hover over him. Taeyongs hands hold your hips as you slowly sink down, holding back a moan at the feeling of your hot cunt.

You realize too late you both forgot a condom, oh well. You never wore one with Jaehyun either, your birth control took care of that anyway. It’s not like he’d notice..right?

You’re pushed out of your thoughts by the feeling of Taeyong’s entire cock in you, and hearing him moan below you to move. He almost feels too perfect in you, hitting every spot that makes you crazy. You bounce on his cock with a vengeance.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect.” Taeyong murmurs under you, hands on you tightly. “Wish I could feel this all day, I’d do whatever you want baby all the time.”

“Yeah?” You find yourself asking, grinding down on him. Taeyong whimpers, hands moving up to pull your chest down closer to him, feeling his breath on your tits, making the angle his cock entering adjust perfectly. “Yeah whatever you want. Just wanna be your toy baby.” He rasps, hands going to grip your ass cheek making you moan.

“Fuck Taeyong…” You whisper. He’s too much. This is too much. Its so perfect its too much, you don’t even care if Jaehyun finds out or dumps you or calls you a cheating whore liar. All your morale flew out the window already anyway.

“Can I cum baby please?” Taeyong asks you, almost whining, his hips bucking up. “Let me fill up your pretty pussy baby please I’ll be so good for you.” Hes rambling now, making you clench even harder around him. You’ve never felt this in control before, sure with Jaehyun being more laid back and letting him take control was fun but this was a different level of hot.

But you had a mean streak in you too.

“What would Jaehyun say huh?” You ask, making Taeyong’s eyes snap open. “What if he sees your cum leaking out of me later?”

Taeyong shakes his head “Baby please he won’t I’ll clean you up with my tongue after just please.” His hips buck up harder, you yelp as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix.

“I don’t know yongie..” You mumble, feeling his hips stutter at your new nickname for him.

“Please honey, just this once for our only time.” He’s totally whining now, hands gripping at your hips, your ass, your tits, like he’s trying to ground himself. “Let me fill you up this once baby please.”

You may have a mean streak, but nothing can make you say no to Taeyongs whines, and the fact that you’re worried he’s gonna break a hip with how quickly he’s bucking into you. You finally nod, locking your legs around his torso and grinding down on him slowly.

Taeyong cums almost immediately with a moan, and you feel his cock spurt thick ropes in you, making you whine as you fully lay down on top of him after pulling yourself off, feeling his and yours fluids leak out of you.

“You needa come too.” Taeyong whispers, and before you can tell him you’re fine you feel him shove three fingers deep in your cunt, fingering you one of the quickest orgasms of your life.

He pulls out almost as fast as he entered, shoving his fingers into his mouth as his other hand strokes your hair.

The guilt can come later, you think. Listening to Taeyong’s heartbeat relaxes you. You just want to be present in the moment.

“This isn’t the last time” You say, looking up at Taeyong. “We can say that, but it’s not the last time.”

Taeyong only smiles cheekily at you before saying “Yeah. I know.”

[the-flaminhos]

Real or not real.

Summary: "You were struck by lightning Minho." "That's nightlock peeta!!!"

"Take me back to the night we met."

Word count: 3.6k

Tw: typical thg/ tmr type content. Electrical torture, mental torture, allat. Angsty as FUCK. Character death👀👀

All my love to you. - Nevaya.

I am not the only traveler

“I just wanna die me.”

Am I dying? It's so damn hot, I can't breathe. I continue swinging through the mess of vines, vines. I miss painting. I miss when life was just fear and living. Now it's fear and survival. Suddenly that's all it was. Survival. Trying to put as much distance between us and the Career pack makes me realise just how horrifying it must be for the siblings to go through this just after watching their baby sister go through. God. The last thing we need right now is a set of siblings on our ass about Glimmer. My mind is clouded with the worst thoughts possible. What if I can't save Katniss? I'll definitely try my hardest but what's telling me I'll be strong enough? I'm not stronger than her. Never was. I'll never be stronger than her. The pure and genuine fear coursing through my body isn't something I recognize. This is all new to me. As sweat trickles down my face and neck Finnick and Katniss chat behind me, something about making it away from the beach. She screams my name, why is she screaming? Is she okay? She yells for me to stop but the momentum in my arm sends the machete forward. Sparks fly and it all goes black—.

“Don't let me turn into whatever you saw, you hear?”

Am I dying? It's so damn hot, I can barely breathe. What even is breathing? Like how do we just know? God Minho, pay attention. I follow his train of sight as thunder rolls above us. It was just shucking hot, how is it storming? I mean I've never had to run in the rain so if that happens I'm cooked. My mind is occupied with so many thoughts at once. What if I lose more close friends? I mean I'll definitely try but what's saying I'll be strong enough to? I wasn't strong enough to save Alby alone. Thomas did. I'll never be stronger than Thomas. The fear that courses through my veins isn't something I recognize. It's new. Maybe it's the scorch or my new found fear of cranks but I'm terrified. As we pick up our pace sweat drips down my face and neck and all I can hear is thunder and screaming. Lightning strikes like four times behind us. This run is the third worst thing that's ever happened to me. He screams my name but before I can stop my legs keep their momentum and send me forwards. Light strikes and it all goes black—.

Who has not repaid his debt

“You were supposed to save him!!”

He's gone because of me. Where is he? Is he still alive? Why peeta…? Haymitch told me he'd save him not me. Peeta was supposed to be here not me. I was supposed to die not him. He's not supposed to be dead. He's supposed to be safe. Haymitch will never be the same to me ever again. I'll never trust him again. Even before this, trust was so so thin when it came to that drunk bastard. It isn't his fault. What was he feeling? Guilty? Horrible? Broken? Angry? Wait no, that's how I feel. All of that. That's how I feel. He promised we'd make it together, I broke it. All I had to do was stop trusting them and now he's dead because we listened to the plan. Why did we listen? That conversation on the beach should've gone differently cause now he's hurt and alive, maybe. What am I even doing? He wasn't safe because I wasn't fast enough. The walls of 13 are a lot like my home, cold, bare, depressing. No one here is happy. If he is alive, I hope to any god that'll listen that he's okay. I need that boy. My boy. Live broadcast? From the capitol? Tonight? Odd. What is Flickerman on about? Who is he talking to? Talking about… Peeta—.

"Minho—!! No!!! Minho—!"

He's gone because of me. Where is he? Is he still alive? Why Minho…? I told him I was sick of running and then he gets kidnapped? If anyone deserves to be taken away on that train it's me. I don't deserve to be this close to the safe haven. Minho tried for years. That's all he did. All he did was try and now it gone because I wasn't fast enough. It was Newt, he held me back. Why did I let him hold me back? Why would he let Minho go like that? How did he feel? Guilty? Horrible? Broken? Angry? Wait no, that's how I feel. All of that. That's how I feel. God I knew we shouldn't have trusted those bastards at WCKD. That talk in the bunk beds should’ve gone differently because now he's hurt and alive, maybe. He promised we'd make it together, I broke it. What am I even doing? He wasn't safe because I wasn't fast enough. The walls of this covered dock area are like the maze, dull, cold, bare. Everyone here is too happy. If he is alive I hope to any god that'll listen that he's okay. I need that guy. My guy. Updated map? What is Vince on about? Where's WCKD? Last city? WCKD… Minho—.

Take me back to the night we met

“I would've saved a lot of pain if I had just fed those damn pigs.”

I'm in this situation because of her. She's the reason I am the way I am. She's bad for me. I can't trust a traitor. If I hadn't liked her in the first place this would've never happend to me. She was right. Trust can only get you so far. Every day I lay on the mattress under leather restraints. Every night I fill my time with thoughts of what is real and what isn't. And no matter how hard I try it's all the same. Fake. I sit in the deafening silence, I'd rather the desperate love driven cries of Annie. Or the screeches of pure anger born from Johanna's coarse throat. Anything just silence. Please. The light piercing my eyes, the horrible blue white makes my eyes burn. I sat there waiting to be declared insane, because I am, when she calls my name. How dare she? Who is she to humanise me when she's why they treated me like a dog? Hurt her. Hurt her the way she hurt you. Hurt her. Why let her feel like you still trust her. Hurt her. She doesn't deserve it. Hurt her. She's why I was injected with the trackerjacker venom. She's why they didn't feed me. She's why they electrocuted me. She's why I'm insane. Hurt her, Peeta—.

“You're a traitor, we trusted you. I'll kill you, you traitor.”

I'm in this situation because of her. She's the reason I am the way I am. She's bad. I can't trust a traitor. Everyday I'm brought out into this room to be tortured for hours on end. Ever night I lay against the concrete mattress and just think. And no matter how hard I try to differentiate reality and their sick game i never win. I'm dragged out of my bunk bed, just to sit in a room that's just as silent. I'd rather the desperate fear infused cries of the younger kids. Or the hard cursing and anger driven screams of the older teens. The lights burn through my eyes when she walks in. She's talking to me. Why is she talking to me? How dare she? Who is she to tell me that what I'm doing is good when I'm literally dying because of her? Hurt her. Hurt her like she hurt you. Hurt her. Don't let her feel like she deserves your trust. Hurt her. She doesn't deserve it. Hurt her. She's why they make me sit through hours of trauma inducing nightmares. She's why I haven't seen my best friend. She's why they electrocuted me. She's why they don't feed me. She's why I'm insane. Hurt her, Minho—.

When the night was full of terror

“…”

What in the ever living fuck are these mutts. They're so pale, they're lanky, and they have no eyes. Before anyone allows themselves to think we're fighting to stay alive. Not too big of a change of scene. The sudden change from living to surviving was one I barely even notice anymore. It could just be because I'm half insane. Did I mention the water? It's horrible. The smell, the look, the sound. Everyone is screaming, no one is safe, and fuck are we tired. I'm pushing these things off me, off other people, and away from anything that's moving. This is another new fear, this was all Snow. Not like the games being the tributes you fear no this is worse. It's all Snow. And that man loves the smell of fear. I'm being shoved and guided up a ladder, Katniss following behind me. Where's Finnick? Fuck no. I shove past Katniss to see Finnick making sure they don't follow up behind us. He always did that. Made sure we were all safe before even trying to help himself. The ladder shakes and a look of hope flashes across my face. The same hope that made me feel like I'd be safe forever. The same hope the filled my chest when Katniss kissed me in our first arena. The same hope that made me think I loved her. That wasn't him getting up. That was the ladder falling. He screams for Katniss, and she returns the favour. The way she called for him was desperate but at what cost? His life? That isn't right. She knows it isn't. His screeches of pain are bloodcurdling, the pure and raw fear burns through my ears. What was more like 10 seconds felt like years. His desperate pleas and cries rang through my head like Katniss used to. Nightlock, nightlock, nightlock. The screams are interrupted by the explosion. He's gone. The one guy who kept me grounded, who made me feel sane, kept me in time. He's gone. No way. Finnick—.

"…"

What in the ever living shuck is going on out here. I just jumped out of a window with my best friends and swam to the edge of the pond to get out. We move to see Gally- Gally? What? One quick conversation and a shoulder pat later and I find out Newt is dying. The black, ivy-like veins that climb up his neck remind me of the time I ran through that maze and found my best friend half dead on the dyed red concrete. Thomas and I helped him get as far as his legs would take him before gently sitting him down. He and I exchange a few frantic words before I shucking bolt to get that serum.

I can't believe it, it was so Newt to play it off and I hate that I know that. Newt never really knew how to to explain his problems. Being second in command didn't have my perks. The barefoot run through the city isn't as freeing as I thought it to be. The sheer amount of adrenaline running through me is the only thing keeping me going right now. Bits of ash bite my skin and broken building stabs the pads of my feet. Through the flames and chaos I make it to the berg with Gally to see Brenda. We share a look before running back to find Newt. The fire casts a deadly glow across our faces, the wind colliding with our bodies as we push against the odds to get the serum to him in time. I made it after Brenda and her still standing figure spoke more to me than words ever could. He looked like he did that day. The day he attempted. Carrying his limp, half dead body through the winding maze alleyways. That's what this was but it only felt like I fell off that wall. He's gone. The guy I told my secrets to, the guy I shared a hammock with on cold nights, the guy I cried with. Gone. Newt's gone. He's gone. Newt—.

And your eyes were full of tears

“My last thought will be of your lips—.”

Holy shit this sucks. Everyhing is wet, hot, and so goddamn close to me. The lizard mutts, very mature Snow. This is too different to the Arena's, Snow had control but the main threat was the tributes. The real threat here is Snow. He didn't care who died he just know who he wanted dead. Everyone is screaming, at least 3 people are dead, and if I was just a little faster I could've saved them. They're dead because of me. Katniss is fine, she jas to be or everything I did to keep Annie safe was for nothing. Where's peeta? That poor boy. The state he was in when he was unofficially put under my care reminded me of a young Annie fresh out of the maze. The water reminds me of home. Of annie. Annie. Annie Cresta, my only constant thought. That poor girl. My poor wife. The chaos in her mind must be so suffocating. I hope she's okay. The chaos in here is much like swimming through the ocean of lovers in the Capitol, constantly fight to keep them off me. To keep the mutts off me. The mutts. Peeta. I rush everyone up the ladder frantically while trying to make sure these fucking lizards don't follow up. The way they follow reminds me just a little bit too much of the capitol bastards sending flowers to my home address and threatening to kill my wife. I push as hard as I can and decide it's finally safe enough for me to get up the ladder. To finally see Annie. My girl. The ladder broke. I'm dead. Not yet, but you get the point. Annie. Annie, district 4, home, the ocean, water. Water. The crashing of the mutts isn't like the ocean waves. The way they make my skin burn isn't like the sun summer. The marks they tear into my skin aren't like the one's my wife leaves when we make love. This isn't 4. This isn't home. I'm dying. A single cry for Katniss rings through the walls that contain this ocean of chaos. I didn't die in that arena. But I might as well have. I still lost to Snows sick game. And she was still my last thought. Annie. My wife. My love. My girl.

My last thought was of your lips—.

“Tommy, Tommy will understand—.”

Holy shit this sucks. Everything is on fire, hot, and so goddamn close. My head is pounding, everyone is screaming, and if I had been a little faster my best friends wouldn't be dragging me through a city of flames. Thomas is fine, where's Minho? That poor guy. The state he was in when we got to him reminded of how I felt as he carried through the confusing walls on the maze. The fire reminds me of the Glade, of the night I met Thomas. Thomas, my only constant thought. Tommy. That poor boy. My poor boy. The chaos in his mind must be suffocating, I hope he'll be okay. The chaos out here is much like trying to run from my thoughts of death in the Glade, constantly running my brain on other things. Death was always around the corner in The Glade. You never knew when your moment was gonna be your last. I thought I knew then. I'm full aware of my end now. Running from the flames. The fire. Minho. We're rushed to a semi covered area, Minho and Gally are sprinting and the changing is getting to me. I can't do it. I'm dying. Not yet, but you get the point. Why am I trying to hurt him? Why am I letting the flare win? Can he hear that it's me? Newt? Not the infection but me? If I were to love him as the undead I'd eat only his heart to know I'm the only who has his heart. Tommy please. Tommy. Tommy, the Glade, bonfires. Fire. The blaze isn't like the coziness of greenie nights. The way it makes my skin burn isn't like the sun in the Glade while I garden. The shadows they cast aren't like the ones that spread across his face the night we met. This isn't the Glade. This isn't home. I'm dying. A plead and a cry for Tommy is shared over a hug. I followed him into the maze. Into the unknown parts of the scorch. Into this bloody warzone. And I'm trying to kill him. I didn't die falling off the maze wall. But I might as well have. I still lost to the thoughts. And he'll still understand, right? Tommy. My friend. My leader. My boy.

Tommy, Tommy will understand—.

Take me back to the night we met.

Real or not real.

Home is so much to me now. It's more than a bakery. It's more than where the heart is. It's more than four walls. It's more than pain and tears and suffering. Whatever 12 was before is gone. Literally. Lost them all to the Capitol. But I have my own little family now. It's different being away from The Capitol, just being away. Katniss is great, we are authentically ourselves out here. She hasn't been the same since prim and she'll never be the same. Kinda like I'll never be the same after what Snow did to me. We talk to Annie a lot more than before, that poor girl, losing her husband and giving birth to their child must be so so much. Snow took so much from her. Innocence. Youth. Her husband. Her whole life. I'm glad we talk to her. Johanna is hard to reach. She never seemed to truly get over the promise she and Katniss made. Haymitch and Effie are so cute, Haymitch doesn't drink as much as he did, Effie ditched the heavy makeup. Finnick. We wouldn't be here without him. He's my reminder that good still exists, even if he's gone. The impact he had on Katniss and I is unexplainable. I am forever grateful to him. The older brother I always needed but never had. That I'll never have. One of the many things I admired about him was his patience. He was there to make sure Annie knew what was there and what wasn't. Life is still disorienting, I still pray that I don't wake me up from whatever dream Snow put me in this time. I have such a hard time getting used to anything new because if something new shows up it feels like I've just started imagining things again. Katniss is constantly reminding me that what we have is real. It's still hard though. Grasping reality gets hard when you have small copy paste versions of your wife running everywhere. Katniss and I had kids, my favourite colour is still that orange, and I'm allowed to think for myself again. It's refreshing, being able to breathe without someone questioning my every move. Being able to move without camera's being shoved in my face. We swim in the lake every now and then during summer, we play tag in the fields, and dandelion soup to celebrate forever happiness. To celebrate growth. Freedom. We're free—.♪

“No one needs me–”

“I do."

Real or not real.

Home is so much more that it was before. It's more than a hut. It's more than where the heart is. It's more than endless winding walls. It's more than Running and pain and suffering. Our Glade is long gone with WCKD. It'll never be the same and I think I'm okay with that. It's different being away from WCKD, just being away. Brenda is great, she is authentically herself. She hasn't been the same since Newt died but who has? She'll never be the same. Kinda like I'll never be the same after what WCKD did to me. We talk to everyone, especially Frypan, Losing Jeff and Clint, then Winston must've been so so much for him. They were a lot to him. I never really noticed how close they were until I realised how distant I was from a lot of people. Gally is hard to reach. He's been more open but I don't think he ever really shook the sight of chuck. Jorge is such a dad now, to all of us, the maze guys and Bren I mean. He crochets now, does something with his hands that isn't killing someone, he keeps busy with Vince as well. Newt. I wouldn't be here without him. He's my reminder that kindness exists outside of the cruelty that is one's mind, even if he's gone. The impact that he had on me is unexplainable. He's like the brother I always had. That I'll never have again. Newt is someone I'll never be able to forget. I hope. Life is still disorienting, I still pray that I don't wake up from whatever cruel experiment WCKD has put me in. Bren keeps me grounded, helps me come back when I float a little too far. It's still hard though. Brenda and I are officially dating as of three months ago. She's great for me and Jorge has already given me his blessing. I still run, just not for unhealthy hours, not anymore. We walk along the beach and splash in the water every now and then. And Fry's iconic potato soup to celebrate forever happiness. To celebrate growth. Freedom. We're free–.

“You hear—?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

A/N: AHHHH IT'S FINALLY HERE. Okay so I'd literally adore any comments and if you hate it PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL CRY. But constructive criticism is always welcome. A MASSIVE thank you to @zer0brainc3lls and @thirtyminutebreak you guys have been my rock through all of this :)) hope you enjoy this and have an amazing day or not lovelies <333

All my love to you - Nevaya <3

[lovemari]

IMPORTANT: Hello! My old account, Lovemari, got deleted. Therefore, I had to make a new one. I'm honestly pretty upset about this so I'll take some time to recover! Thankfully, all my posts are saved as I write them in google docs before posting. Please like and reblog so I can reach my old followers and potentially new ones!

Fears holding him back.

Reminder: I'm not an experienced writer so construction criticism is always welcome! Also, I write for fun. I just wanted to share my work around the world!

The fight was pretty stupid, honestly, but that didn't stop you from breaking down into tears as you watched Wanderer leave the room. His words were like knives, digging into your heart and ripping it out. It hurt. His words hurt.

The fight was about wanting children. Instead of listening to Wanderer's words about his fear of treating the child like his mother did, you lashed out on him. It was cruel, you knew that.

So why exactly did you decide to do it? Was it right to get mad at him? Was it necessary to not understand his trauma?

You could say that you wanted Wanderer to let go of his past and embrace the future. Others could say you were thinking about yourself and not his thoughts on the idea of raising a young one.

All you knew was that you messed up badly. You weren't exactly perfect but that wasn't an excuse to snap at him.

Meanwhile, on Wanderer's side, he wanted a child. In fact, he loved children. The thought of giving someone something he didn't have made him quite happy.

Unfortunately, dark thoughts entered his mind. What if he was going to be like his mother? What if he won't want them in the end?

So many things were holding him back from being happy. He wanted it, but did he deserve it? It's not like he's an angel or anything. He's done so many evil things in the past. What if the child ends up like him?

It definitely didn't help when you were suddenly so angry. He knew how much you wanted children but watching you yell at him made him feel absolutely guilty.

Some part of him also felt like he needed that criticism? Wanderer says he “forgot about the past” and yet he hasn't “forgotten the feeling”. It's not like he doesn't feel things when the thunder strikes.

Wanderer felt a tap on the shoulder. He looked over to see you, looking guilty, “I'm sorry.” she whimpered. Without any thought, Wanderer immediately hugged you.

You were surprised to say the least when he hugged you so suddenly. Still, you accepted it. You felt like a good hug was what you both needed and wanted.

Wanderer held your chin up, “Look, I've been hiding from my past, and I need to stop that. It makes me feel sick.” You noticed in understanding, wanting Wanderer to finish his sentence, “I want children. There I said it.” Wanderer confessed.

You could tell this was definitely something hard for him to say. He was never the one to express what's going inside his head.

You rested your head on Wanderer's shoulder, “You wanna know what I think? You'd be an amazing father.” You felt Wanderer go stiff. He wasn't expecting that and it made him feel overjoyed. Something he doesn't experience often.

Wanderer kissed your cheek. He loved you. He had a relationship where you could both understand each other. He felt like this fight was actually a part of your relationship with him. It was a learning experience. I told him that whenever you two had another fight, talking it out could resolve it.

Wanderer held your hands, “It's late. You should get some sleep. Don't worry, I'll be right with you when you wake up.” He assured you.

One day, he'll say that to his future kids.

[artofhazbinhotel]

Staticmoth argument scenario as usual because they're in love but awful people

Vox had been staying out at night to work on a new project pulling all nighters for at least a week now and he was exhausted, he thought he knew a way to cheer himself up and finally get some sleep: Valentino. He actually came home tonight and Valentino was watching his latest work on TV as he often does, he's very proud of his work despite Velvette and Vox not wanting to see it in the living room 24/7, or ever. When the moth demon heard the door he peeked over the couch with an antenna twitch to see who, hoping it was finally Vox, it was. It was a late hour but Valentino doesn't usually sleep at night from being nocturnal, he'll sleep on occasion if it's after sex or forcing Vox to sleep by making a makeshift wing straightjacket. Vox flopped onto the couch beside Valentino, laying on his back across his long legs, "You would not believe the day I had" small talk seemed to be a good way to go about this he figured, he would never just straight out ask 'want to have sex?' that's Val's job. Valentino cupped his face with a hand while another laid across his chest "My poor baby, it's a shame you do it to yourself"

Vox rolled his eyes ignoring the comment before continuing "I missed you" Valentino couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at this, of course he missed Vox, he was pissed off at him for neglecting him so long, past the point of trying to seduce him for attention, that's how pissed he was. "Yeah?" He doesn't deserve to hear it in return he decides, bitter. The media demon didn't expect to hear it back anyway but it still kind of stung, finally he sits up despite how comfy that position was, he always found Valentino's lap a nice comforting pillow. "You deserve attention even if you didn't miss me, is there anything I can do for you baby?" The TV host was really hoping sweet talk would get his 'business partner' out of this mood he seemed to have right now, sometimes it does, it's 50/50.

"You mean what I can do for you? You're not the top here" he stated matter of fact, causing Vox to blush a little in embarrassment and gesture dramatically "I would be more often if you'd let me! I could do that for you if you want? Think of it as an apology" Valentino could almost laugh at that, instead he pretends to ponder it "Hm.. No." Vox figured Val was just rejecting him wanting to be a top so he sighs , "Fine, okay, you can use me to feel good instead then, how's that sound?" He was almost certain the phrasing would make Valentino extremely interested, he's into that shit. But for whatever reason that shocked the overlord, Valentino rejected it all together "I don't want to have sex."

Vox's eyes widened a little, Valentino probably has never said that sentence before in his life "Oh- that's fine- Are you not feeling good or..? You don't smell like alcohol so I didn't think it was an issue to offer, you don't seem high either, or at least not past the normal amount" Valentino glared "You have such an ego you think I have to be sick not to want to fuck you?" Usually in their arguments they've both done something, but Val hasn't done anything wrong for once, Vox doesn't think he has either, right? He's starting to question it finally. "What? No, I was just checking-" he didn't like the way he stammered.

The much taller demon scooted away "You leave me alone for an entire week and the first thing you do when you're back is offer sex. What? You only want me when it's convenient? I bet this is just a stress relief, I'm not your fucking stress ball" Wait Valentino feels that way-? Vox was now panicking, it did cross his mind Valentino might be guilt tripping, but he felt guilty just for thinking that. "Val, no, I only offered because you like sex, I was busy, I didn't leave you alone on purpose, and you weren't alone, you had your workers, I didn't even think you would notice" that sounds indicative of a deeper issue. Valentino huffed, getting a little angrier, which was a little better than that calm tone since it's more familiar. "Of course I noticed, I noticed you didn't want me"

Vox decided to try physical comfort since he's awful with words, he leaned forward so his hand could reach his cheek. "I *never* don't want you, get that in your head, I said I missed you and I meant it." Valentino switches up so fast, because now he was lowering his antennas "really?" He still seemed a little skeptical but that's better. Vox nodded quickly and he leaned into his touch, he missed it. "Then show me you want me, I changed my mind" Vox felt a little awkward about this considering his heart rate when up with all that guilt but he assumed kissing Val would fix that so he did.

They proceeded to that for several hours, Vox was so exhausted by the end he passed out laying on Valentino's chest and neck fluff as a pillow. Thank God Valentino's wings cover or when Velvette walked by in the morning she would be more traumatized than usual considering they're still on the couch. As much as she wanted to bitch about the couch she also was glad Vox was finally sleeping so she left it be. When they finally woke up Vox lazily asked a "are you feeling better? Not mad?" Valentino reached around for his glasses because of the blinding windows but mumbled a "Better"

Vox was quiet for a minute, maybe Valentino would be too asleep to process "I'm sorry" it was a numble too, normally he'd just buy him something but it felt needed after that conversation yesterday. Valentino blinked a little, processing, before pushing Vox off of him to get up, unforgiving and cold despite the night "Then don't do it again."

[notinthislife50]

Chapter 2 - What Is Going on?

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

They both laughed as they shook my hand. And that was my first introduction to Jensen and Jared. The best friends a girl could ask for.

Filming was to start in just under a year so we made the decision to hang out as much as possible and get to know each other. It was the best year of my life. Coming from having no family and hardly any friends and in a new town I was grateful for how welcoming everyone was.

I even met Jensen’s wife Amy and she was just as friendly as the boys.

When filming started Jensen,  Jared and I decided to share an apartment. A few of the crew also rented apartments in the same complex. I can’t tell you how happy I was.

The first few weeks of filming were a breeze, but then came Jensen’s character, and my character had to film a sex scene, something I had never done before. When Jensen saw how nervous I was he tried to calm me down saying he had done this before and I could trust him, and I'll be so sick of these scenes it will be boring after a while.

As we wrapped season one a big party was thrown Amy had flown up for it, and I was so happy to have another girl to hang with.

One morning the boys rang me screaming it was our two year anniversary since we met and we needed to celebrate,  so obviously I had to fly down and party.

I spent the next few weeks down in Texas. I stayed in Jared's and it worked out perfectly as season one was just about to be released.

We watched the first few episodes together but then I flew back to Canada to get the apartment ready for the boys coming back.

When they arrived a few weeks later Jared hugged me,  trying to squeeze out any air I had left in my body but as I hugged Jensen I could tell he was hesitant and something was off.

“You okay?” I smiled. 

“Yea, Smurfette” he smiled sadly.

The next few months of filming I couldn’t help but feel Jensen becoming closed off from me and began to panic.

“Jared, did I do something?” I asked tears forming in my eyes.

“Y/n no you did nothing wrong“ he hugged me tight kissing the top of my head “your his second favourite friend, he will talk to us when he is ready”

I pushed him and laughed “I have you know I'm the first favourite” but knowing that wasn't the case, 

“Jensen,  come on the next walking dead is ready to watch “ I shouted from our living room.

Jared plopped down beside me placing drinks on the table. As we waited we could hear Jensen shouting from his bedroom.

“What's going on who is he talking to?” I asked confused.

Jared shrugged being equally as confused

When Jensen stormed out of the room he yelled “Thanks a lot Y/n I was on with Amy and you shouting at me to get off the phone didn't help.”

“oh I’m so sorry I didn't know you were on the phone with her” I whispered taken back by his tone.

“How is she?” I asked, “I’ve texted and rang her a few times but haven't been able to get through”

“You know not everything is about you” Jensen yelled at me.

“Woah Jensen” Jared stood up “She was only asking a question.”

“What so you are on her side?” Jensen accused.

“When you’re shouting like this I am” Jared tried to calm him down “Tell us what's going on man we are your friends “

“Nothing is going on let’s just watch the damn show” Jensen huffed throwing himself down on the couch.

As I slowly sat down looking at Jared he shrugged at me and shook his head in shock. As we sat in silence watching the show Jensen’s phone kept going off. And the more it kept going off the more angry he got.

“We could leave this for another time if you wanted” you softly said not wanting to cause any trouble.

“If I wanted to leave it for another time I would have said” Jensen barked.

As tears formed in your eyes, you whispered “I'm feeling tired anyway I think I'm just going to go to bed.”

As you stood up Jensen yelled at you “You’re trying to make me feel guilty now?”

“Jensen” Jared shouted, “What the fuck?”

As you walked into your room `, silently crying you curled up on the bed,

“What the fuck man?” Jared shoved Jensen,  “she's our best friend what are you doing?”

“Amy is having a breakdown with all the sex scenes Jared I don't what to do “ Jensen confessed rubbing his hand down his face

“And how is that y/n fault?” Jared asked “She is just following the script. She loves your wife she would never hurt her.”

“I know but I don't know what to do” Jensen started to cry.

(Just like everyone else who loves Supernatural,  I love Danneel, So for this story, I have made Jensen’s wife someone else out of respect x)

[pinkpinkmermayyy]

I finally watched Wish. And I gotta say, it's not as bad as people say it is. Don't get me wrong, it's not good by any means. But it's still not so awful I felt frustrated and sick to my stomach after watching it. But it's also not so bad it's good to the point where it becomes a guilty pleasure for me like the live-action Bratz movie. It's just...bad. But not horrible. It had potential. It COULD'VE been good if the writers actually gave a single damn, and knew what they were doing. Or, alternatively, if they simply spent a few more hours on the damn movie. But alas, they did not, and since we're in the bad timeline, this is what we got. The music is what really weighs it down, with just about every song being meaningless, badly-written, and having terrible grammar/confusing metaphors that don't hold up under a microscope or even make any sense at all, really. The only thing stopping them from being completely insufferable is the fact that the actors are legitimately good singers, making it a crying shame that none of them weren't given better material to work with.

The characters themselves, though, are unfortunately very boring, one-dimensional, and contradictory/confusing in their writing. The setting, plot, and worldbuilding are all very bland and haphazard as well, to the point where I actually laughed out loud during the climactic scene at the end where the king brutalizes Asha with his evil magic. It was that ridiculous! The side characters, both human, animal, and star, were all boring and pointless(except for the Star ig) and I really have a bone to pick with Gabo especially. He goes from thinking that Asha killed her family(for no reason, mind you) to shaming Simon for being a bad friend and betraying Asha to the king, both in the SAME SCENE!!! It's like...all of the characters are this inconsistent honestly.

And I don't buy that people would be happy to "forget without regret" when it comes to their wishes. It just makes no sense to me. The writers should've come up with a better excuse for why the people of Rosas put their faith in the wishing system rather than "they forget what they wanted in the first place but are totally all right with that!" especially when Asha acts like this is a new revelation. Like come on, guys, you work at Disney! Give us something! But they gave us nothing. Because they are lazy. A shame.

Also the costumes in this movie were boring and bland af, and everything was really monochrome and lifeless. It definitely fails in comparison to the costume designs in Encanto, The Princess and the Frog, and even Tangled. Everything just feels so dull, cheap, lazy, and uninspired. Though I do like Asha's design aside from her outfit, she is very pretty and it's sad what this movie does to her. This movie in short didn't feel like a Disney 100 Anniversary. In fact, it didn't even feel like a Disney movie at all. It felt like a student film that was inspired by Disney, or like those direct to video films made for really little kids that have a low budget and even lower-quality CGI. Just a massive disappointment. I'm afraid that Disney is no longer the gold standard of animation that it used to be. Oh well. 😔

this is what really ticks me off about wish. I would be fine if it was just terrible if it ended up not being amazing or even good, but it’s mediocre. And that drives me INSANE because I see so much potential in the story and characters and the villains but they just let it bite the dust and left us with this infuriatingly mediocre movie that was supposed to be the 100 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL FOR DISNEY! That’s supposed to be something fantastical and amazing and have that wow factor but it’s just so bland and it makes me angry. Also the fact that it was originally supposed to be traditionally animated but they changed that also makes my blood boil.

[sleepy-moron]

Super messy kingdom hearts feelings

Riku is genuinely one of my favorite characters in any piece of media full stop, and it’s really hard for most people to understand why I love him so much. To a lot of people who only really played kh 1 and 2, Riku is just a kind of generic rival character, and for a lot of fans of the whole series he’s one of the best characters in the franchise but nothing particularly special in the grand scheme of all media ever.

I think understanding that Riku is deeply in love with Sora is essential to understanding what makes Riku such a wonderful character. There is so much more to him as a character, but his primary motivation has always been deeply intertwined with his love for Sora, and that’s not something you can ignore.

Riku speaks to a very specific experience that most people probably have not had, but if you do relate to it he becomes so special and important. So I’ve got to get a bit personal here to properly articulate what I mean.

When I was younger, I was best friends with one of my neighbors. We had been friends for years and spent a lot of time with each other. Then, a new kid our age moved into the neighborhood, and my best friend was suddenly spending all their time with another person. I had a lot of very strong feelings about this, to the point I would feel physically sick from it all. I didn’t understand what I was feeling or why I felt it so strongly, I just knew it hurt and I hated it.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that I am very much not straight and had a massive crush on my best friend when all this was happening. I was jealous, sad, angry, guilty, and legitimately disgusted with myself and my friend. Our friendship was never really the same after that. On top of all this I was also dealing with undiagnosed mental illness as a kid, so I was basically just an emotional wreck pretending everything was normal for a few years.

I also watched my dad and brother play a lot of kingdom hearts as a young kid. I didn’t really understand the games but I was entranced by them despite this. Flash forward quite a few years to right before kh3 came out, and I decided to start watching people play through all the games so I could actually understand what the story was. I had by this point mostly finished having a sexuality crisis and was starting to deal with the unaddressed feelings I still kept locked up.

And then I got to see Riku in all his messy emotional gay coded glory, and it just resonated with me in a way I didn’t know I wanted or needed. Watching this kid feel all these messy and ugly things that he couldn’t really understand and lashing out because of it, to get to see him atone for his mistakes and begin the long journey to not only forgive himself but also accept himself and all the things he felt, it was just so emotionally significant for me. I had never really thought about what it would be like to see this part of my life reflected by a character, but once I had it I was just overwhelmed with how strongly I connected to the Mickey Mouse anime games.

I finally had the time to watch the 6 hour Riku is gay and why it matters video the other day, and it emotionally destroyed me all over again. I don’t think I’ll ever really stop being emotional about Riku, sometimes you just consume a piece of media at the right time and it just stays with you forever. That’s really why he’s so special to me, I happened to get to fully see his character at the right time for him to be so important to me in a way very few characters are.

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

heyy! I just finished watching this movie called real steel and I thought of transformers like those two combinations with each other.

real steel about a society around boxing robots like robots fighting to the death and I thought about what if people got a hold of Cybertron space ships or parts of a bots and make them into their own robot and put them into fighting matches. (something like that)

could you do where the Autobots (like Optimus himself, Hound, Sideswipe, Ratchet, Bumblebee, etc) or Decepticons (it doesn't matter for these guys) from the Bayverse movie would react to this side of humanity, ripping their parts and forming into their own pleasure boxing bots

(this is just a second part of you wanna do or not↓↓)

if you could do where reader was one of those people who helped make robots for human entertainment and now they met the Autobots/Decepticons but doesn't know the pain they're making the bots feel hearing they're friends being a part of that side of humanity.

like the reader doesn't see the problem, kind of like they're being insensitive towards the bots.

I like that movie, it's a good one!

~~

Optimus:

He is spark broken. He thought Earth would be a safe space to lay low. But he was wrong. He regrets telling his Autobots to go to Earth. he feels guilty and blames himself for the bots unpleasant demises. He feels like he failed them.

He doesn't want to have a war with the humans, but he will fight to protect his own.

He's disgusted by your behavior and your ignorance to his kinds pain. However now that he's met you he's hopeful. He talks with you, pleading you to understand they are living beings with emotions.

He hopes that by talking to you, you could help put an end to it all. If not, he will put an end to it himself, with force if he has to.

Ratchet:

He finds it incredibly disrespectful. Even if they are using deceased bots parts. To them the humans are using corpses for their entertainment. It makes him feel sick. He thinks they should just leave Earth and never return.

He'd like to stop the humans. rescue their friends and give them a proper funeral.

The first time he saw you he hated you. Then he learned you felt nothing for them, not thinking they felt pain. He hated you more. How could you be so ignorant?

He's willing to try and open your eyes. Perhaps he can convince you Cybertronians are not to be used as fighting bots. But he also wants nothing to do with you.

Hound:

He thinks the humans are disgusting. They find alien robots in a crashed ship and decide to make them a play thing? He doesn't understand that logic.

Hound thinks they should return the favor and start using humans as puppets. Just to see how they like it.

When he met you, he was angry and yelled at you, demanding to know why you thought it was okay and how could you possibly think they felt nothing.

He'd love it if you realized you were wrong and stop all the fighting activities. But he also doubted humans could see the error of their ways.

Sideswipe:

He desperatley wants to get off Earth. There are a few nice things about the planet, but all of them are outshined by the horrendous displays of his friends being used in fighting rings for humans entertainment.

He's scared the humans may try to gang up on him and take him in alive to start fighting. It's bad enough fighting for his life against the Decepticons. He doesn't want to fight another trapped bot for humanities pleasure.

When he met you for the first time he was very unsure what to think. You were so small and innocent looking at first glance. But then he learned you thought there was no problem with using their parts as if he and his friends meant nothing. It made him sad, and it made him dislike you. It also made him lose all hope for the humans.

Bumblebee:

Bee was excited for a new planet. Hopeful for a new life. He saw humans and wondered if over time they would become friends. Then he saw what they did for fun. Seeing them tear apart Cybertronians to create new robots, used in fighting rings. Humans made them fight for their sport, for gambling, for entertainment.

He felt sick, and immediately decided to hide away. He was always really cautious, never wanting to be found out and spotted. He wanted to find a ship, fly away and tell other bots to never go to Earth. He was horrified one species could be so uncaring and disrespectful to another.

When he first met you he was scared and hesitant, worried you would try to use him and make him fight. But you didn't, so he began to get a small flicker of hope.

That hope turned into dislike and distrust when he learned you thought they could not feel pain. Perhaps it was just you being ignorant, perhaps you could learn and could see the error of your ways. He wanted to be hopeful the humans could change and stop the fights. But he also didn't want to try, for fear of it not working and the humans wanting to hunt him down.

[joes-sha-la-la-la-girl]

When Love and Hate Collide: Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Warning: Swearing

Joe couldn’t believe what he was seeing when he watched Sav and Y/N walk out of the hotel late at night. For some reason he felt angry. What he was angry at he didn’t know. But the idea of Sav and Y/N made him feel sick. 

Scoffing to himself, Joe made his way up to his room. As he walked over to the lift, he heard footsteps running after him. Turning his head slightly he saw Phil coming towards him. Inwardly, Joe rolled his eyes and prepared for whatever lecture he was going to get. 

“You okay mate?” Phil asked him as he joined Joe in the lift. Joe held back a groan as he gave a short nod of his head. He didn’t need his band mates getting involved. “You sure?”

Joe now resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Deep down he knew that Phil was only looking out for him but at the moment, all Joe could think about was how difficult the new assistant was making everything.

Not by anything she was doing either. Just her presence annoyed Joe but that was enough to set him off every time he saw her. A part of him was feeling guilty about the way that he spoke to her, but not guilty enough to make him actually apologise to her. Again, he knew deep down that he should but there was something stopping him every time he thought about her. 

Phil noticed that Joe was being awfully quiet as they sat in the hotel bar. Phil didn’t drink anymore, so he was even more alert than all the others and noticed that Joe didn’t touch a drop of alcohol either. The rest of the band had noticed Joe’s change in behaviour for a while now, but since Y/N joined them two days ago, things had gotten even worse. That’s why Phil decided to follow him. He had known Joe a long time and after they lost Steve, Joe was the one to help him. He knew he had to return the favour.

They climbed out of the lift in silence, and made their way down the corridor. As Joe opened his door, he noticed that Phil was still standing behind him.

“I suppose you want to come in then?” Joe asked in a bored tone. 

Nodding his head Phil followed Joe into his room and made himself comfortable on a chair in the corner of the room. Neither man spoke for a while, both waiting for the other one to start. After about five minutes of quiet, Joe finally lost his patience and asked Phil what he wanted.

“To make sure that you are alright.” Phil told him as he looked over at the younger man. Just as Joe was about to lie and say that everything was fine, Phil cut him off. 

“Don’t lie to me Joe. After everything we’ve all been through as a band, I think we are way past lying to each other, don’t you?” Phil asked him rhetorically. 

Even though he didn’t need to answer, Joe nodded his head again and looked to the floor before perching on the end of his bed, facing slightly away from Phil.

“Is it about the divorce?” Phil asked him. Joe took a shuddering breath as Phil mentioned that word. No one had out right asked him about it since he and Karla split up. “It’s okay if it is.” Phil continued this time waiting for Joe to answer.

“I don’t know what you want from me.” Joe eventually spat out. “You want me to admit that my life has gone to shit in the last year or so then fine it has. Happy?”

“No, I'm not happy Joe. Why the hell would I be happy that you are struggling like this.” Phil took a moment before his next sentence, knowing it could cause Joe to fly off the handle completely. “Is that why you don’t like Y/N around?”

Joe snapped his head up at that glaring at Phil. However, Phil stood his ground and waited for a response. 

“What the hell has she got to do with my divorce?” Joe raised his voice slightly. The thought of their new tour assistant setting him on edge. When he thought of her in that moment, he thought of her with Sav and that pissed him off even more. 

“You tell me Joe. You’re the one acting like an arse towards her and the only reason that I can think of why is because of the divorce. The only part I can’t figure out is why Y/N.”

Joe didn’t respond to that. For two reasons really, the first one was because the thought of the young woman angered him and he didn’t understand why. The second being that Phil was right. He was behaving like that because of the divorce and he too couldn’t figure out why. There was something about her that intrigued him and it terrified him. His divorce was nasty and he lost all trust in women after that, then all of a sudden, Y/N arrives and makes him question everything he had told himself for the past few months. He just couldn’t let her get close enough to hurt him.

He didn’t know why she made him feel that way. She was younger than him for a start. Nearly ten years younger. Then there was that she was smart. He could tell by the way that she carried herself that she was intelligent. He had heard her tell the guys that she was a university student, better than he ever was. She should be far out of his reach, not sleeping on the same tour bus as him like they would be doing in a few days. 

All of this confused Joe. He hadn’t felt like this in years and the events of the past months made him not want these feelings at all. 

Phil could see his friend’s inner conflict and smiled to himself. Now that he got Joe to register everything out loud he hoped that maybe he could start to get along with Y/N for the sake of everyone.

“Look” Phil started. “Why don’t you go get some fresh air and clear your head before you go to bed. It’ll do you no good to go to sleep like this.” 

Joe looked at his friend and agreed, acknowledging that he needed to think before he settled down for the night, or he’d never go to sleep. Making his way back downstairs, he decided to use the stairs rather than the lift. 

When he got to the bottom he went out of the back door which led to a small garden, a peaceful little area that Joe had seen from his room window. He didn’t know how long he had sat there but once he felt himself calm down, he stood back up and went indoors, watching Sav and Y/N get into the lift. 

Not wanting to be caught with them, he went back towards the stairs and made his way up. It was a bit of a trek but hopefully allowed him enough time to miss the two people he wanted to avoid for the night. 

However, Joe was not that lucky and he saw Sav knock on his room door. He decided to speak up as Sav turned to walk away.

“Have fun on your date?”

[popcorn-plots]

Day 1: Helpless | 100 words | Wong reflects on being sick. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 2: Solitary confinement | 100 words | Stephen Strange laments. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 3: "Bit down on this" | 689 words | Sherlo-- Stephen gets injured on a casemission. Watson Wong to the rescue. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 4/5: Obedience/Rope burns | 932 words | Stephen and Wong are held captive in their own home in a robbery gone wrong (mostly). | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 6: "You lied to me." | 500 words | Tony confronts Stephen about a choice he made. A choice that ruined both their lives. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 7: Suffering in silence. | 150 words | Stephen Strange was fine. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 8: "Why won't it stop?" | 200 words | Stephen Strange breaks after using Atlantean Black Magic. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 9: Bees | 1128 words | America gets stung by a bee. Stephen comforts her when she admits her biggest fear. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 10: Killing in self-defense | 100 words | Stephen Strange is found guilty. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 11: Time loop | 100 words | Tony Stark is stuck in a time loop. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 12: Semi-conscious | 741 words | Stephen has a nightmare in the library, one he didn't quite wake up from until he was safe in Wong's arms. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 13: "You weren't supposed to get hurt." | 176 words | Stephen watches his daughter grow up. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 14: Blood-stained tiles | 59 words | Wong reflects on his husbands death. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 15: "Who did this to you?" | 150 words | Stephen visits a grave. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 16: Alt -- "I love you." | 903 words | Stephen plays the bait in a mission to take out a group of rogue sorcerers. Wong intervenes and feelings are felt. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 17: Hostage situation | 694 words | Strange or the people of New York. Tough decision. Who lives, who dies…. You are playing a delicate game, Sorcerer Supreme. You decide who survives. Play God, just for a second, or we destroy your planet. Your choice, Sorcerer Supreme. You have 24 hours to decide. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 18: Alt -- Found footage | 756 words | A video is posted about Stephen Strange and the death of his sister, Donna. Stephen watches his old high school bullies vandalize his locker -- and his well-being. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 19: "Please don't." | 100 words | Stephen and Eugene’s relationship is all but healthy. So when Stephen gets home and finds his father drinking, he tries to avoid him at all costs... but avoiding Eugene is near impossible when you’re the one he’s angry at. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 20: Truth serum | 367 words | Stephen ingests a truth serum. The students of Kamar-Taj are curious, but some take it a bit too far. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 21: Unresponsive | 567 words | Tony finds Stephen nearly dead, barely breathing, an empty bottle of painkillers just out of reach. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 22: Alt -- CPR | 866 words | Tony Stark has a heart attack during an event. Peter performs CPR with the help of a mysterious stranger. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 23: Presumed dead | 200 words | With the cloak returning from the fight alone and radiating sadness, one could only assume the worst. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 24: "I'm doing this because I care about you." | 261 words | Wong is not the person he once was. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 25: Waterboarding | 1110 words | Stephen Strange is part of the .1% of the world's population that can see their soulmate's experiences. Great for Tony Stark, not so great for Stephen when his soulmate gets waterboarded in the middle of Stephen's shift. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 26: "Help them." | 375 words | Stephen knows he's going to die. Why waste time on him when others need it more? | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 27: Left for dead | 455 words | The Illuminati on Earth-838 don't kill Stephen Strange. They maroon him on Titan, alone and stripped of his magic.

Stephen doesn't believe this is punishment enough for his crimes. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 28: "No... not like this."/Alt -- last words | 500 words | Wong finally confesses his feelings for Stephen... just as he's dying in the man's arms. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 29: Not allowed to die/Alt -- immortality | 682 words | Stephen Strange is cursed. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Guys we did it. We finished Febuwhump!

[annaraebananawriter]

For the angst drabbles (idk if you're still doing them) maybe Passive Nighty's ghost following Dream around? Sorry I don't really have any cool ideas...

Hey! Don't say that! I love this idea, and I know you have many other cool ideas. This idea is definitely one I've thought of before, and I even have a couple fanfic plot ideas lying down somewhere using it.

One involved Palette and him being the only one to see Passive Nightmare's spirit, and he decides to somehow give his uncle his body back and reunite him with his papa (Dream).

The other is similar, but involves the Bad Sanses and then finding Nightmare's crown, and Passive's ghost is attached to the crown, and so they have to catch this ghost up on things and keep it a secret from their boss and figure out how to take Passive to Dream without being killed along the way.

But that's enough about me (though if you want to hear more about these ideas, feel free to ask!). I did this prompt a little bit differently, but still the same type of deal. Also, Nightmare tells Dream a story in this one, which is The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde, just so you know ahead of time.

Happy reading!!

~oOo~

It was raining again. It came down in sheets, the sky rumbling angrily and streaks of white light glowed for a second before fading back to black. Wind made the few trees left bend, a few of the weaker ones snapping in half and flying away to a better place.

Nightmare shifted away from the drops, more of a habit than anything else. In his transparent state, everything around him treated him like he was dead and buried, slipping straight through him.

He wasn't sure how long it had been since the incident. No matter how many times it snowed or rained or the sun shone, nothing changed. Nothing new grew. The land Mother was on was dead, frozen in time. The village was no better. He preferred to look the other way, however; you could only look at corpses and rubble for so long before you felt sick. Physically, he couldn't move very far, so the most he could do was stare at Mother's remains and mourn what could've been.

He looked away. Dream's pained expression, gray stone weathered overtop, bore into him, accusingly. Well, probably not accusing him, his brother was too kind for that, but he knew when he was at fault for something and since no one else was around, it was up to him to hold himself accountable.

It wasn't your fault, Dream would insist if he wasn't a statue. Stop blaming yourself, Nighty.

Nightmare shook his head. "It is my fault, though, Dream," he said, responding like his brother could hear him. "If I hadn't eaten that apple, none of this would've happened. The villagers would still be alive. You wouldn't be petrified. That...monster in my body wouldn't be doing who knows what to people."

If you hadn't, how long would it have been until you broke completely? Imaginary Dream murmured. Things might've been worse.

Nightmare frowned, drawing his knees close to his chest. No, that was too harsh. Too fast. Dream would've made sure he knew it wasn't his fault before suggesting alternative ways things could've happened. Wouldn't he?

If he's honest with himself, he'll admit that he didn't really know what Dream was thinking anymore, not recently, and that's including before the incident. He stopped being able to read his brother the longer he kept his secret of abuse. It's hard to pinpoint when exactly, but he remembered when he realized it, a horrid moment of clarity as he watched Dream talk about his day before going to bed.

He had watched his brother's smile and couldn't tell anymore whether it was real or not, if his tone was genuine. Zoning out, a voice whispered at the back of his head, furthering his distress.

When had Dream gotten so good at lying?

Another round of thunder shook things. Nightmare flinched, glancing up, feeling guilty as he looked back to Dream, remembering the first night they witnessed the sky get angry. Scared at first, he had quickly gotten used to it, curiosity over something new taking over, being replaced soon by worry as he looked over and saw how his brother cowered in fright, eyes wide.

Helpless, he tried to comfort him, but Dream stayed that way, fear coating him more than their blanket did. He had started telling a story to fill the silence as he thought, just a silly story of something that happened to him a couple days ago--exploring the forest and encountering a frog, examing it and noting his observations, only to eventually startle as the frog jumped on his skull, making him tip backward and fall in the river. He had been pulled out of his thoughts by a giggle, abruptly realizing his story had helped Dream forget about the storm for a bit.

The thunder had sounded again and Dream jumped, quieting. Nightmare had smiled, tugging him close. "Don't worry," he had said. "I'm right here. Nothing will happen as long as I'm here. Want to hear some more stories? I have lots of embarrassing moments I never told you about."

Dream had nodded, but quickly spoke before Nightmare could start another story. "And you'll be here forever?"

Nightmare blinked. "Of course! What brother would I be if I wasn't?"

"Promise?"

"I swear it." Nightmare had held up a pinky finger and hooked it around his brother's. "Now, as for a story...well, another time I was exploring the forest and..."

Since then, whenever there was a storm, Nightmare would cuddle Dream and tell him story after story until they both fell asleep. In the morning, the rain would be gone, dew lingering in the air, and they would splash in the puddles together and laugh. It was fun.

This should be no different.

But Dream was a statue right now. Nightmare had no physical form. He wasn't even sure if his brother would be able to see him. There's no way a silly story could help things. Still, he couldn't help imaging his brother cowering again, this time unable to move an inch, eyes trained on the sky. He couldn't even cover his ears to block out the sound.

Nightmare had to do something about that. He couldn't let his brother, imaginary or not, be scared like that.

He shifted until he was leaning against his brother's legs. "It's okay," he said, patting Dream's statue, hovering uncertainly over the hairline cracks around his waist. "I'm right here. I told you I wouldn't ever leave you and I intend to keep that promise. Tonight's story is a bit different than usual. I only read it recently myself. I thought it fit, though."

He might just be talking to himself. Maybe this was the first sign that he was cracking from being alone for so long. Maybe this was a bad idea, a waste of time. His brother was a statue, after all, and statues can't hear or talk or react in any way.

And yet, didn't the statue in the story had a conscious? Wasn't he alive?

"Our story starts in a kingdom. In this kingdom, a beautiful statue of a prince stands on a pedestal, gazing over his subjects. He's made of gold plating, shining jewels for eyes, and his sword. Everyone admires him. One day, the birds are meant to be migrating, winter fast approaching. One sparrow, however, seeks shelter at the prince's feet. He notices the prince is crying. He asks why and the prince explains that he is sad because of the suffering his poor subjects face."

If the Prince in the story was alive even though he was a statue, then why couldn't Dream be alive? Or, well, conscious, anyway. He knew his brother was alive. He wouldn't be here if he was dead.

If that was true, though, then he could imagine his brother relaxing as the story unfolded, calming down. He could imagine him closing his eyes and trying to sleep, focusing on his voice and letting the images free in his mind for his dreams to shape as they please.

"The prince asks the sparrow for a favor. He asks the bird to take the ruby from his statue and give it to a poor mother and child. And although the bird needs to fly south, already late, he agrees to help. The next night, the prince asks another favor. One of his sapphire eyes needs delivering to a poor writer. The sparrow is upset, not wanting to blind his new friend, but he agrees after the prince insists. The next night, the prince asks for his other eye to be delivered as well, this time to a poor girl."

He made a promise, after all. Nightmare will keep it, invisible or not. And if he can only provide stories for his brother to sleep to during thunderstorms, then...that's what he will do.

"The prince asks for the sparrow to take his gold plating and give it to the poor as well. Feeling sorrow for his prince, the sparrow cancels his plans to fly away and stays with his friend, being his eyes for him, and delivering his gold as instructed. The prince is blind. Seeing his riches are gone, the people of the kingdom call the prince ugly. Only the sparrow knows otherwise, that the prince's heart is pure. Unfortunately, not being meant for the cold, the sparrow dies from the cold, and shortly after the prince dies as well from a broken heart."

Because what else are brothers for?

[richmonds-disaster-bi]

Angsty Roy/Jaime prompt: Roy suffers a head injury that leads to temporary amnesia, so he forgets that he and Jaime are married now. Roy only remembers Jaime when he was the S1 prick. He's appalled when he finds out that he's actually romantic with the prick and it takes everyone to stop him from going to the courts for a divorce ASAP. Jaime is utterly devastated, but refuses to let himself break. He has this unwavering belief that Roy will remember them. He takes all care of Roy, who gives him nothing but disdain but also feels really guilty that Jaime is so devoted to him, feeling frustrated for not knowing how he came to earn such love from a guy he considered his biggest enemy. It's Phoebe who basically tells her uncle Roy to pull his head out of his ass and be nice to Jaime at least. Roy falls for Jaime all over again somehow, but what happens when Roy gets his memory back at the most random moment and has to deal with how he treated Jaime during his amnesia?

Roy being in a horrific car accident. He suffers a lot of injuries, the worst be a skull fracture and Jamie has been told that the Roy that comes back might not be his Roy. Jamie is prepared for a lot things, had read up on speech issues and everything they told him about....but he isn't ready for the pain of Roy freaking out and going "what the fuck is this prick doing here? Come to cheers my almost death?", and when his sister gently reminds Roy that they're married, Roy freaks out even more.

They run some tests and it turns out Roy has amnesia. He thinks he's still playing for Richmond and is captain. He's no memory of Jamie being trade to City and back or of coaching or anything. Roy is frustrated and angry, not particularly at Jamie, but at his brain and because Jamie is there.....he takes it out on Jamie a lot. Jamie just grins and bares it because this is Roy, his Roy, his husband andnlove and he will not give up on him.

Everyone is careful with him. The doctors advised that triggering memory's on purpose could be dangerous so they have to wait but Pheobe is sick of seeing her Uncle Roy so angry and her Uncle Jamie so sad when they've been so happy together for the last few years. So she sits down with Roy and shows him everything. Videos of their wedding. Pictures of them. And then shows him that they'd recently been approved to adopt and it breaks Roy

He starts being softer with Jamie, explaining that "I don't remember why I fell for you, but I can see it. I see you" and when he hugs Jamie, Jamie clings to him and whispers "its okay, it's okay if you never remember, we can make new memories".

They take it one day at a time after that. Roy tries to be romantic. He's a bit skittish of kissing and touching but they take it slow and then he starts to remember. He remembers bits and pieces and then one day he's sitting with Jamie, just watching a movie and he whispers "I told yoy you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and that if I fucked this up to cut my balls off in my wedding vows" and then he's crying because "I'm sorry. I failed you, I failed us" while Jamie just holds him and tries not to cry because he has his Roy back....but at what cost

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip Whenever the Day of the Week!

So last week I finished two renders Woo! This week we have two new arts that I'm starting (4 technically but you know, just sharing the personal work) and some writing (I did share this to discord but I'll throw this in here too). Tagged by @paraparadigm @mareenavee and @friend-of-giants

If you wanna do it too then go ahead! Everyone's already shared by the time I get to mine (14 hours ahead, 24 behind XD).

Art First!

Relates to the fic I guess. It's fun, I draw birds! There's a time difference!

The rest is under the cut!

Now for writing.

So I power smashed out a chunk of a chapter from Teldryn's POV yesterday. He's waiting and he's bored and he's in his head, so is someone else. Some of you have already seen it, and some not. There's a fight scene that I'm, in the middle of which I'm not ready to show yet but have this.

The bastards took his keys. Both of them, right from his pack. The bastards just kept coming. The last two weeks had been truly unrelenting. He’d hit Sigrun’s men at the barrow, then near the Telvanni stronghold, some even managed to make it as far south as Fort Frostmoth after that woman from the Netch had cleared the entire place of ash spawn and undead. All by herself too, not a single guard had accompanied her according to Geldis. Though Teldryn was certain the old fool was exaggerating, that place was infested with those disgusting things. They regularly assaulted the Bulwark, each attack taking out more of Veleth’s guardsmen. Teldryn smiled to himself, he had his opinions on their competence, and it wasn’t flattering.  He’d told Veleth as much during the last assault and was once again met with the old guard captain’s gruff indifference.

So, she was better than a few guards? Who cares? He did, apparently. He’d been ruminating over their encounter for the last two weeks. He had made an utter fool of himself, completely blew it. Fuck! He actually stole from her! And he didn’t regret it either, she had good shit. Besides, he needed it more than she did… not to mention he was certain she was after him, the whole situation just didn’t add up. Gods, why was he thinking about this? Why did he care?

He fiddled with one of his rings under his gauntlet. The one with the misspelled engraving that he never bothered to have fixed and felt sick to his stomach. Guilty, he still felt guilty after all these years. He wanted to drown that feeling out again, but he couldn’t. Not yet, not when he was supposed to be watching the shore for more of Sigrun’s goons.

He was distracted again, he was always distracted. He wanted to pace, scratch at something, anything to get his mind off of him. Two hundred years and the pain still felt so raw. Does it ever end? He started fiddling with a loose thread on his scarf, unravelling it until a new hole was created. He’d fix it later if he remembered. Probably not. By Azura was he bored! The bastard said that his companions had set up again by Bloodskal Barrow again, but they weren’t there! He wanted that lizard that took his keys! By Boethiah he wanted his head on the end of his sword! His gauntlet caught alight; he was getting angry again. Good. Good. It was better than his perpetual wallowing. He was productive when he was mad, could get shit done! He threw the fireball that had formed at the ashen sand, it solidified under the intense heat. The cracking sound was awful but it was something.

He can’t sit still. His head felt itchy, and he ran a gauntleted hand through his hair. He needed to cut it, or at least shave the sides down again. He didn’t have his things. He needed his things!

Fuck where were they? Teldryn lay back hard, causing a small bloom of ash to raise around him. His hair fell in his eyes and he lazily brushed it aside. He stared up at the sky, it was now well past sundown, an aurora danced above, its green and violet symphony drowning out the stars. It was almost romantic if he would allow himself to think of such things. A bad idea.

So he tried to clear his mind and concentrated on the light lapping of waves on the shore. Those distant groans of netches further down the beach, the soft sound of booted footprints in the ashen sands.

Teldryn sat up to get a better look around, he could make out a figure about half a klick downwind of his position. Bonemold, one of Veleth’s boys on patrol? No, he’s too far away from town. He watched the lone guard as he sauntered along the shore. The guard sat on a log, his back facing Teldryn and pulled something out of a small sack that he couldn’t quite see. Food? Most likely. Teldryn felt his stomach growl and he fell back onto the sand. He’d forgotten to eat today, didn’t he? It was a habit he’d developed a long time ago. Easy when everything tastes like the ash of Red Mountain was swirled in a salty brine. It no longer brought him any joy. Still, his mouth watered. If those bastards didn’t show up soon he’d have to go bother Geldis again. He was out of food, he’d been out of sujamma for days as well. Gods was he craving that! Anything that could drown him out really. His fingertips itched and he pulled off his gauntlet with his teeth. It was that fucking ring again! It was too tight. It was never meant for him. It was his. He couldn’t get rid of it! By Azura had he tried, it was a part of him now. He should never have put it on! He held the ornate shape of it between his front teeth and gave it a light tug, relieving some of the pressure.

“Stop it!” “No, you parasitic fuck!” Teldryn growled under his breath. He tugged again. “That won’t work.” “Try me!” he growled, yanking at it harder this time. The force hurt his teeth. “Quit your incessant whining and listen.”

Teldryn stopped for a moment and listened. Chattering, no, no yelling! He glanced over towards the spot that guard should have been. He was on the ground, surrounded by three heavily armoured  Nords, one pulling the sword from the guard’s back, but was unable to make it budge. Teldryn snorted, idiots. You stick a sword in that part of the armour and you’ll lose it. It was a quirk of design that he never quite understood, though it had been explained to him often enough.

“To your right.” Teldryn moved his gaze away from the guard and towards the Barrow. A boat and several more armoured men hauling gear out of it.

Oh, it’s on!

Teldryn grinned wickedly and sprang to his feet. He pulled his discarded gauntlet back on and threw on his helmet, scarf and goggles hastily, he was itching for another fight!