bioinfotmatics

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Gotta vent. Sorry.

Life is so….

I woke up after three hours sleep. I was too worried about things to go right back to sleep, and music wasn’t distracting me enough. I open Tumblr.

The third post I see is one if those damned “helpful” OMG warning signs you have a deadly disease and should rush to a doctor posts. I have an extreme medical “professional” phobia from serious traumas at their hands, no health insurance, no money at all, no local doctors in my rural area (no hospital in the damn county even), no one I can trust to help me……I mean, I haven’t been to a doctor in longer than some of you have been alive, and that was a horrible experience I do NOT want to repeat. Yeah, these helpful post send me into a freaked out spiral of fear.

An e-mail comes in. My reloadable debit card has been declined. New panic! I’d ordered a book, a gift in a way. I’d promised to read Mom this book over the phone as a birthday gift next month, and I’d found it cheap. I can’t afford books for me anymore, but this is for Mom, so I can’t just cancel it.

Frantic I scramble to figure out where the money went. I’m horrified to find out it is all looking legit.

I go to the bank website and move $100 over so I can pay for the book and beginning of the month stuff like my phone.

I see the numbers and my chest hurts, like a fist around my heart.

Today I have to do the shopping because I’m half way through my last bags of animal feed. I start doing the math.

After the animals I’ll have $100 for all my groceries, gas for the car, kerosene for the hot water heater, bandages for my ankle, batteries for the lanterns where I don’t have electricity, mouse poison for where I found the damn rodents had gotten into my storage container of clothes, and everything else. Too much else. I’d skipped everything I could last time, so I am out of everything from trashbags to toilet paper.

$100 and not a penny more for two weeks.

And OMG, that includes Halloween! I need a pumpkin and candy to give out!

Just $100.

I cried.

I get mad at myself for crying. I already got yelled at by someone disgusted and angered by my crying a couple days ago.** I HATE when I can’t keep from crying, even alone.

I felt so much…I dunno, everything. I needed to lash out. A sensible person would break something, but breaking something is stupid when you can’t afford to replace anything. I sure as hell don’t ever want to hurt anyone. So what did I do? Slapped myself in the face as hard as I could.

And geez, it was SUCH a relief! That tells you something. Physical pain is much, much easier than emotional. I’ve said that since I was little.

Sometimes I really miss Pop. I mean, I always miss Pop, but it was so nice to have someone that cared. Mom loves me, but she was never the cuddly one and not great at noticing emotions. She could be impatient with crying, once she finally noticed. Pop though… I got all upset and cried he’d pat my back or head and say “Poor Teffy Weffy” I miss feeling comforted. Loved.

Anyway, so I worried and tossed and turned and cried and worried some more and….

I’ve had three hours sleep. The sun is up. My ankle is already hurting. I have to go do the shopping without enough money, and not feeling up to it.

Damn it, I want to get to have a breakdown and not get out of bed! Just one day in my life I don’t want to get up!!! Or how about have a lazy day and do nothing? A guilt free nap, at least?

I am so fucking sick of making myself go through the motions of being alive, of watching it all drain away between my fingers while trying to laugh about it. Get up, take care of the animals, fix my meals, do my chores, repair endless things, research the day’s new problems….

Busy. Busy. From the moment I get up until the wee hours if the morning when I finally crash, stay busy. No time to think or dream. There is just too much to do!

Work on so many things I can never quite fix but keep trying, always trying, trying, trying, trying…

And failing.

I’m so tired of life.

** It was an awful incident, on a very bad day when I was already sick and in pain. I’d told by my brother they were sending the jelly I’d sent to Mom back, unopened, and no one of the rest of then would eat it.

I apologized to Mom for sending jelly since I didn’t know she didn’t eat the stuff, and she said she actually liked jelly. My brother started roaring at her, shouting at her to not say that, that she was a liar, that she never ate jelly, none of them do, don’t ever contradict him… (BTW, when I was there she ate jelly AND they had opened jelly in their fridge, so saying none of them ate jelly baffled me)

Mom was being yelled at because of me. I begged her to stay quiet to not provoke him, and I could hear his shouting…

I don’t get him. He’s always so… Not like the rest of us in my immediate family. Angry, aggressive, hostile, mean even.

I started sobbing. Guilt at causing Mom trouble. Helplessness to do anything to make things better. Frustration. Despair at how we are bound up, in so many ways at his mercy, and he is not a merciful soul.

Usually I am so good at this. I never cry when I’m on the phone with Mom. I try not to let anyone see me cry, but on the phone with Mom it’s especially important. I don’t want to upset her. She can’t help me, so I have to hide my struggles a bit.

But it’s also because of him. It makes him angry.

He yanked the phone from Mom to say some thing and he heard me crying. Disgust. Rage. He finds tears to be the way the weak manipulate people, a pathetic, scummy way of fighting, an attack on him. He snarled and ended by hanging up in me.

I think the call didn’t last three minutes.

I’d been on the verge of a meltdown for days as life was getting worse and worse, and I was dealing with feeling rotten on top of it. Now I actually wailed. Good thing I was in the woods, though the poor critters must have been terrified by the banshee.

[motheyes]

crazy how things are

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By Your Doorstep (Part 1)

Summary: When the reader is looking for her teenage sister’s service dog one day, she runs into Dean Winchester who thankfully saw him run past. When she arrives, her sister is fine aside from a sprained ankle but Dean’s decided to follow along and help get her sister home...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 3,200ish

Warnings: language, minor injury, mention of car accident/death

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Please enjoy this first part! …

_________

“Toast! Toast!” you shouted as you ran down a street. “Toast boy!”

“Uh, you okay?” said a guy walking on the other side of the street. He was raising an eyebrow and you shook your head.

“Toast is a dog,” you said.

“Oh, gotcha. I thought you were nuts for a minute,” he chuckled.

“You haven’t seen a german shepard around have you?” you asked.

“I saw one run down the block a few minutes ago,” he said. You looked the direction he pointed and you started sprinting. “Hey!”

“Sorry! Can’t talk!” you shouted back. You ran down the block and across the street over to the park. You ran over to the basketball court and saw Toast there next to Tessa. She was sat up and holding onto his vest when you jogged over to her. “Tess. Are you okay? Did you have a seizure?”

“No,” she said with a laugh. She was holding her ankle and you saw the swelling. “I think I broke it playing. My phone’s over in my bag. I told Toast to get it but I guess he ran home and got you instead.”

“He barged in through the doggy door, I thought he was just nuts at first,” you said. You heard footsteps behind you and the man from the street was there panting.

“You found your dog,” he said as he caught his breath. 

“Yeah,” you said, the man wincing when he saw Tessa’s ankle. “We’re all set.”

“She needs a doctor,” he said.

“Tessa, you okay here while I run home to get my car?” you asked.

“Yeah I’m fine,” she said. “Toast’ll stay.”

“I can carry her,” said the man. You both stared at him and he shrugged. “Save you a trip.”

“Are you some kind of weirdo?” you asked. 

“Says the woman running through the neighborhood shouting Toast,” he smiled back.

“Alright. Tess if you’re cool with it…” you said, the man nodding.

“Dean Winchester.”

“Dean will carry you back to the house and I’ll drive you to urgent care,” you said. “If you do try anything though Dean, Toast will rip your face and junk off, just to be clear.”

“Got the message,” he said. Tessa climbed on his back and he was careful of her ankle while you grabbed her bag. You walked with Toast by Dean’s side back the few blocks towards home. “I think it’s just a sprain actually. I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“You play basketball?” you asked.

“No. I’m a doctor is all. First glance it doesn’t look too bad.”

“Are you single? Y/N’s single,” she said.

“You’re a little shit, Tessa,” you said. Dean chuckled and Toast bumped his leg. “He wants you to get on the sidewalk.”

“Will do,” he said, Toast giving some space once he’d stepped up off the road. “He’s very intelligent.”

“We’ve only had Toast two years but he’s been very good with us,” you said. “He’s Tessa’s. I just feed him and pick up his poop.”

“I have school, loser.”

“I have work, loser,” you said. 

“You guys must be sisters,” he said. “I’m a big brother. I would know.”

“If your younger brother is single and half as good looking-”

“Keep it in your pants, Tess,” you said. 

“I like you two,” he chuckled. “Sorry Tessa but he’s probably a little too old for you.”

“They always are,” she sighed.

“You’re seventeen. You’re fine,” you said. “Besides college has way more attractive guys and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, Elmdale community college. Known for it’s hotties,” she mumbled.

“Elmdale University has some good choices,” you said.

“I thought it was too expensive,” she said.

“Well I was gonna tell you this at dinner but I applied for a different job awhile ago. I heard back this morning. I accepted. It’s double what I was making before.”

“Really?”

“Yes. With your grades you can get a half-ride and I figure between inheritance and my new salary, you can do your four year out of the gate without loans,” you said.

“Thanks, Y/N,” she said quietly. “Really.”

“You still need your part-time job if you want to get stuff for yourself though. I’m sorry. I can’t make it work if-”

“S’okay,” she said. “I can’t believe I can go to the university.”

“I called up the school earlier and talked to your guidance counselor. We gotta work on your application but we can make it work,” you said.

“Can I get a car? I know I can’t afford room and board but maybe I can get something used so you don’t have to drive me all the time?” she asked.

“Tessa…” you sighed. You knew you couldn’t afford insurance on two cars at the moment and everything else and she wouldn’t make enough part time to cover all the car expenses herself. “I-”

“I can pick up more shifts,” she said.

“Tessa, I want you to enjoy college. I sure did. I’ll give you rides whenever you want. I’ll drop you off in the morning and pick you up at night. That would work, right?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I don’t even care about my ankle. I can get my art degree!” she said.

“Tessa.”

“I’m joking,” she laughed. “Art minor?”

“You can minor in whatever you like but please for my sanity major in something you can get a job in?” you asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said. You rounded a corner and started to walk up a driveway, Dean setting Tessa down in the passenger seat of your car. You opened the back and Toast jumped in, Dean smiling when you shut both the doors.

“Thanks,” you said. “For helping us out.”

“Sounds like you two know how to solve problems on your own,” he said. “Happy to help. Here.”

He dug in his back pocket and pulled out a card.

“If you ever need a doctor, I’m two blocks over,” he said. “Or just to talk.”

“Thanks,” you said. “I’ll see you around, Dean.”

It was around nine when you were sitting on the front porch with a glass of whiskey in your hand. You drank slowly, eyes catching a man in a baseball cap and reflective shirt jogging by.

“Do you always run at night?” you called, Dean stopping at your front walkway. “Cause I never see you run at night and I sit out here a lot.”

“Whew well let’s stop that charade cause running is so not my thing,” he said. He breathed hard for a moment as he walked up the steps. You nodded to the other chair and poured him a glass, Dean drinking it down. “Your sister okay?”

“Yeah. Just a sprain,” you said. “Still gotta pay the deductible for the x-ray though.”

“How old are you?”

“How old are you?” you asked.

“Thirty one,” he said.

“Twenty eight.”

“Where are your folks?” he asked.

“They and Tessa were in an accident two years ago. It’s just us two now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m slowly getting used to be a guardian,” you said.

“I raised my little brother. My parents are still around but they fought a lot. I get becoming the parent when you’re not ready.”

“Do you ever get to just be a sibling again?” you asked.

“Yes. But they have to grow up first and you got a few more years ahead of you before it happens,” he said.

“I figured.”

“What does she have? Toast is a service dog I saw.”

“She gets seizures sometimes. It’s from the accident. She hasn’t had one in seven months. Fingers crossed we got her on the right mix of meds finally,” you said.

“So who takes care of you?”

“My buddy Jack Daniels. Sometimes I hang out Jim Bean too.”

“I’m partial to Johnny Walker,” smiled Dean.

“Very nice. I don’t drink much. Too tired most of the time,” you said.

“So nobody takes care of you then.”

“Who takes care of you?”

“Good point,” he said. “But I didn’t have it this rough.”

“We’re getting by. We always do.”

“I have no doubt that you can,” he said. “Take care of yourself every once in a while is all.”

“When she’s done with school I will.”

“She’s got five years left. You won’t last that long,” he said.

“Watch me.”

“Who worked on your sister at the urgent care tonight?”

“Dr. Novak. Why?”

“Cas is a good friend. I’ll see about getting that x-ray test off the bill,” he said as he stood up.

“Dean, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s no trouble,” he said, heading down the steps. “You want me to leave you alone from now on?”

“...No.”

“You want to go on a date tomorrow?”

“Okay,” you said.

“I’ll pick you up at noon? I’m buying. Nothing too fancy,” he said.

“Okay,” you said. He smiled and nodded, spinning around and sliding right off the last two steps to his bottom. You rushed down them and he groaned, shaking his head. “Are you okay?”

“Yup,” he said, grunting as he stood. “Oh my ass hurts.”

“That’s what she said,” you said, Dean laughing.

“I definitely like you,” he said as you helped him take a few steps. “I’m alright. I’ll swing by tomorrow then.”

“Bye Dean,” you said.

“Bye Dean!” called Tessa from her bedroom window upstairs.

“Oh my God, go to bed!” you shouted back.

“It’s nine and I’m not twelve,” she said.

“Goodnight ladies,” chuckled Dean, waving as he headed back down the path. You gathered up the bottle and glasses, bringing them inside and locking up for the night. A few minutes later you were upstairs in Tessa’s room, frowning as she giggled while looking through her phone.

“Oh come on,” she said as she rolled her eyes at you. “He’s cute, he’s a doctor, he’s single and he’s a dork that just fell on his butt in front of you cause he’s so nervous and trying to play it cool. Like what is wrong with him?”

“Nothing. We have a date tomorrow,” you said, leaning against the doorframe. 

“We used to talk about guys,” she said. 

“I know,” you said. You picked at the wood, Tessa putting her phone down.

“Y/N. You’re not my mom. I know you gotta act like her sometimes but you’re not. Mom and dad would want you to go on dates and stuff. I haven’t seen you do anything fun in years.”

“I barely knew how to be an adult for just me,” you said. “You’re my priority now.”

“I’m not in a hospital bed anymore. My seizures are under control and I got Toast to watch out for me just in case. Dean had a point. You gotta take care of yourself,” she said. “Including me going to community college.”

“Tessa-”

“It’s both our inheritance and you can’t spend all of it on me. I can do two years at community and transfer to the university after.”

“Tess. You don’t have to do that. I did the math and it’ll work out.”

“When’s the last time you bought something for yourself? Seriously when?”

“I bought a new bedspread two weeks ago.”

“You needed one. That doesn’t count. When-”

“Before mom and dad died, Tess. Is that what you want me to say? They made good money but you had medical bills. Do I want a new winter coat? Sure. Do I want to splurge and by myself a nice pair of leggings? Of course. I want things. But I want us to stay in this house. I don’t want us to get shoved in a tiny apartment. I want you to be able to go to college like I did and not worry about this crap. I’m the grown up, not you. I choose how to spend the money.”

“Fine,” she said. She grabbed the crutch by her bed and got up, going to her dresser. She opened her jewelry box and grabbed a wad of cash, holding it out to you. “It’s three hundred. I want you to have it.”

“Tessa, no.”

“I earned it. I get to choose how to spend it,” she said. “You’ve always told me that. Buy a coat and leggings and whatever else you want.”

“Tessa. It’s yours. You were saving up to buy an iphone.”

“I don’t need a fucking phone. I need my sister to stop looking like she cries herself to sleep every night. Just take it,” she said. You shook your head and she shoved the money in your hand. “Y/N, take it.”

“Alright,” you said. 

“Good.” She waited a beat before pulling you into a hug. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said. “You got plans tomorrow night?”

“I was gonna sleepover Hailey’s house if that’s okay?” she said.

“Yeah. You guys have fun,” you said. “Just be careful on your ankle.”

“Duh,” she said. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“I’m kinda beat. Sunday for sure?” you said. 

“Okay. Night,” she said.

“Night, Tess,” you said. You went next door to your room, opening your desk drawer and opening the envelope inside. You counted the money she’d given you and added it to the front. You definitely had enough for her phone now and her birthday was only a few weeks away. You smiled and put it away, writing out a few bills before you gathered up your pajamas and walked down the hall to the bathroom. You kept going though, down to the shut door. You pushed it open, the room cold and dark. You flipped on a light, a coating of dust on everything again.

“Y/N?” said Tessa from the other end of the hall. You turned off the light and shut the door, Tessa by the bathroom when you walked back. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna shower quick before bed. Shout if you need something.”

“Yeah. Night.”

Dean POV

“Hey, Sammy,” said Dean after he’d gotten out of the shower and was laying in bed. 

“Hey, Dean. What’s up?” asked Sam on the other end of the phone. 

“I think I just went full on weirdo on this girl I met today.”

“Well that’s obvious but what’d you do? You didn’t like stalk her or anything.”

“She lives in the neighborhood. I kinda went jogging past her house tonight and she was sat on the front porch.”

“Okay that’s kinda creepy,” said Sam. Dean ran his hand over his face and sighed. “Did you talk to her?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I gave off creeper vibes but she might have just been polite. I don’t know. We’re going out tomorrow,” said Dean. He was quiet as he shut his eyes. “Which sucks cause I really like her too. I hope she doesn’t think I’m weird.”

“Maybe she’ll have pity on you and let it slide. Where’d you meet her? I thought you swore off women after your last hookup went bad,” he said. Dean didn’t speak and ran his hand over his face again. “De I know something happened that night.”

“Sammy I got tired of hooking up. I’m too old for it. I just want a girl to go home to at the end of the day and laugh with. That’s all there is to it,” said Dean.

“Dean I was still living with you at the time. You were off for days. I know-”

“If you’re gonna bring this shit up again-”

“I’m just saying it’s nice to hear you excited about a girl again...and you can tell me anything. Anything, Dean. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You’re twenty seven. You’re a kid,” said Dean. He rolled over on the bed and lay on his stomach, putting his hands under his chin. “Some things I just don’t tell you about, Sam.”

“Dean, I asked you to stop raising me awhile ago. You’re not my father anymore.”

“I still gotta protect you from stuff,” said Dean with a shrug.

“I get that. But my mind has gone to the worst case scenario on this more than once. Just promise it wasn’t that,” said Sam.

“Sammy, I called to talk about a girl.”

“You want things to work out with her? Then figure out whatever the hell happened in the past so it doesn’t happen again.”

“You don’t understand,” said Dean. 

“Whatever. Just crack a joke next time you see her,” said Sam. He hung up and Dean looked at his phone, sighing before he jammed his face in the bed. He gripped the sheets tight and felt his heart rate pick up, bile rising up in the back of his throat.

“Stop. It,” he said to himself, forcing himself to sit up. He wiped off his eye and dropped his head to his chest. “It’s just a fucking girl. It’s just a girl, it’s just a date. It’s all it is.”

He saw his phone light up and Sam’s name appear. He swiped and put it on speaker before he faced away from it.

“I’m sorry,” said Sam. 

“It’s okay,” said Dean, freezing when he sniffled. He stared at the phone and Sam cleared his throat.

“You alright?” Dean stared at the phone and shook his head. “De, you there?”

“Are you alone?” he asked.

“Yes…” said Sam. “It’s just me.”

“You repeat a word of this to anybody or you laugh or you tease me or-”

“Hey. I’d rather we not have this conversation over the phone. I can be there in an hour.”

“...Fine but you better bring some pie with you.”

“I’ll see you in an hour, Dean.”

______

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

[imagining-supernatural]

The Confession

Part 27 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary:  You and Sebastian spend more time in the hospital talking

Word Count: 2,621

Warnings: Brief mentions of abortion & suicide, not an accurate timeline of medical recovery

God, you hated sleeping in hospitals. Mostly because sleep was impossible. It seemed like as soon as you finally fell asleep, a nurse was waking you to take your vitals.

“Sorry to wake you, just gotta check on some things,” a nurse you’d never seen before woke you quietly.

Seb shifted behind you, arms tightening until he was awake enough to process what was going on. He grunted something that could have resembled words, had he been more awake. As it was, he sounded like a caveman as he slipped from the bed to the chair. Once the nurse completed her quick exam, he wasted no time in returning to his place beside you, this time under the covers.

“It’s useless to try and convince you to go home and get some actual sleep in an actual bed, right?”

“Right,” he replied, curling his body around yours even more. As much as you hated to admit it, it made you feel better. Not good, because you doubted you could ever feel good about what you’d done, but having him hold you so tight seemed to calm your nerves that had begun to fray during your fight on Saturday.

Once Seb set his mind to something, you knew he didn’t give up. After all, that was what had gotten you into this predicament in the first place. Had he not set his mind to flying you out to New York to meet Doctor Helen Sharpe, you’d probably be back in Utah, living out the last few weeks of your life.

But here you were: cancer free.

And now he’d set his mind to riding out whatever your relationship with him would turn into. He found out he truth about your past and he was still here, holding you.

Maybe it was that reminder, but you found that you were able to fully relax into his arms, even going so far as to twine your fingers with his. He squeezed your hand once before he went lax at your back, falling back asleep.

“It’s like Skip-Bo on steroids,” you explained to Brenda the next day.

She sat on the other side of the table that Sebastian had acquired from somewhere in the hospital. “I haven’t played Skip-Bo in ages.”

“You’ll catch on quick. So, in my version of Nerts, everyone gets their own Rook deck. Each deck has a mark on the back to distinguish it from the others. There are no turns; everybody just goes for it.” You finished explaining the rules, then started playing. When you’d taught Seb a few months ago, it had just been the two of you and he was surprised at how much crazier it was by just adding one person.

By the time Brenda had to get back to her rounds, you’d played six hands and she was beating both you and Seb.

Shuffling your deck, you rolled your eyes. “I hate it when you teach someone a new game and they’re better at it than you are in less than an hour.”

“You literally just had brain surgery. I’m pretty sure you weren’t on your A-Game.”

“Okay, but I have a friend who refuses to play Nerts with me because he hates losing every single time, so this just feels wrong, brain surgery or not. It’s not fair at all.”

“Life ain’t fair, sweetheart.”

“Don’t I know it,” you mumbled while wrapping a rubber band around your Rook deck.

He glanced at the shut door and took a deep breath. The light-hearted atmosphere in the room dissipated. “Hey Y/N, I’ve been wondering… Your dad died in a house fire. You were at Jasmin’s house all night. How did you… How could you have…”

“How’d I do it? Kill him?” He nodded at your blunt words and you sat back, thinking of the shortest way to say it. “I got home from school and he told me that mom had been arrested for public intoxication or something and that he was going to use this time without her to, uh beat her bad genes out of me.” As if those were the genes that needed to be beaten out. “And, I don’t know. I guess I just snapped. Eliza had been gone for years, so she wouldn’t be hurt. Mom was locked up and couldn’t show up and get hurt either… So, later that night he passed out on the couch and…”

You took a deep breath and looked away from him, focusing on the door to the bathroom. You’d never said these words aloud before. Jasmin and your sister never asked how you did it. They never asked why you did it. They just took you at your word and let it be.

“I spilled the rest of his whiskey on his shirt and the couch then lit a cigarette and put it between his fingers. Grabbed my backpack and walked the few blocks to Jasmin’s house. Our neighbor reported the fire half an hour later.”

“So you didn’t kill him. Not really.”

“Indirectly,” you challenged, looking straight at him again.

“Indirectly, huh?” He sat forward in his chair, elbows on knees, and trained his eyes right on yours. “Is that how you killed the person after your dad? You said you killed someone before him and after. You consider the abortion to be the first person you killed right? So…”

You grabbed Brenda’s deck of Rook cards and started shuffling them, holding Seb’s gaze. “You seem to know more than I do, so why don’t you tell me?”

“I think you blame yourself for your mother’s death.” You flinched, finally breaking eye contact. Unfortunately, Sebastian kept talking. “And judging by that reaction, I hit the nail right on the head.”

“She loved my dad,” you whispered. “I don’t understand it, not with what he did to us, but she did. Then I killed him and… I guess she didn’t have anything left to live for.”

The hum of medical machinery and faint chatter from the hall filled the air until Sebastian processed your words. Softly, so softly, he reached across the table with an open hand and waited until you gave in and reluctantly placed your hand in his. His blue eyes seared into yours. “I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what happened. I never knew your mom, but… what if you’re looking at it the wrong way?”

“I killed my dad, and a few months later my mom killed herself. That’s not coincidence, Seb.”

“I’m not saying it is.” His agreement surprised you. “I’m just saying, maybe her motivation wasn’t love for your father.”

“Then what is it?”

“Maybe she stayed alive so long because of you. Because she wanted to protect you from him as much as she could. And as soon as he was gone… she didn’t have that responsibility. She knew you could take care of yourself and she just… couldn’t go on. And she didn’t have to go on.”

That… couldn’t be it. She wasn’t a strong person. She couldn’t have protected you from him any more than you could have stopped him.

But you hadn’t considered that side of the argument before. Either way, his death had caused hers. But, if Seb was right… Then you’d given her the peace of mind she needed to finally let go. She was a shell of a person by the end and while you wish she hadn’t died, you couldn’t blame her for it. Picking yourself up after years and years of an abusive marriage had to be so fucking difficult, and she just wasn’t strong enough.

“Think about it, okay?” Sebastian said a minute later. While you were still reeling from this new view on your past, he gently ushered you towards the recliner in the corner of the room and pulled you onto his lap. With his arms around you and Brooklyn 99 playing on his phone, it wasn’t long before your post-surgery exhaustion took over and you fell asleep.

You weren’t sure how long you were sleeping, but when you woke up, the room was darker as the sun was falling behind the skyline. Seb’s chest was rumbling under your ear as he spoke quietly into his phone

“Nah, mom, the hospital food isn’t so bad. I’m sure when Y/N wakes up, she’ll be on me to go take a shower and I’ll grab some real food on my way back.” His mom replied on the other end of the call, but you couldn’t make out any words. All that you could feel was his hand rubbing up and down your arm and his chest rising with each breath he took. “She’s doing well. Better than I expected after brain surgery… No, I’m not sugar-coating it. She’s fine, medically speaking. I swear. It’s just that some personal shit came up and it’s eating her up… Of course, I am, mom. Why do you think I haven’t gone home to shower? Yeah, love you too. I’ll let you know when we can fly out and you can finally meet her.”

He hung up and tossed his phone over onto the bed before shifted just enough to somehow curl around you even more. He pressed his lips to your hairline. “Mornin’, sweetheart.”

“Is it morning?” you rasped, throat dry. It didn’t surprise you that he knew you were awake. After all, you’d been sleeping in the same bed as him for weeks now. You knew each other’s habits well enough by now to be able to read body language.

“Evening, actually. But time doesn’t really exist in hospitals.”

“Mmm,” you agreed. This time it was you who shifted, pulling back just enough to tilt your head up to his. “How’s your mom doing?”

“Great. Excited to meet you once you’re cleared to fly.”

“Mmm,” you hummed neutrally, eyes drifting away from his face to focus on the far wall.

“And she’s gonna love you, you know that, right? Even if you told her everything, she’d love you all the same.” His finger under your chin urged your eyes back to his. “Just like I love you all the same.”

Love? Your eyes darted between both of his, looking for any sign that he was joking. Any sign that he was trying to maybe lighten the mood, but you couldn’t find any. He wasn’t acting… he wasn’t bluffing…

“Oh my god.”

The softest half-smile you’d ever seen crept onto his face seconds before he leaned down and nudged your nose with his. “You seem surprised.”

“I’m…”

Memories flashed in front of you of you and Sebastian.

Seb buying you Oreos and ice cream. His bright eyes when you agreed to stay the night with him that first time. Him defending you to the paparazzi outside the hospital. That hesitance in his eyes when he asked you to wear the ring. Flirting via Skype.

And, god, that first kiss in the elevator. It was like he was drowning and you were the bubble of air he needed to live.

“I’m…” you tried again, but once again, words failed you.

“I love you, Y/N,” he stated, practically guaranteeing that you would never again be able to form a complete sentence ever again. “I know you, I know about your past, and unless you’re hiding a secret bigger than what you’ve already told me, nothing is going to change that. Even then, probably. How I feel about you isn’t going to go away.”

“Seb, I… What?”

He chuckled, bumping your nose again. “I love you. And now I’m going to kiss you. Unless, of course, you have any objections to that.”

Objections? What sort of objections could you possibly have with his eyes looking so sincerely into yours and his arms warm around you? “I… I probably should have objections.”

“But you don’t?”

“I, uh, can’t think of anything right now.”

His grin grew and a mumbled good later, his lips were on yours.

The kiss was gentle, at first. His lips were barely brushing yours, and if it wasn’t for his thumb stroking your cheek and your heart beating hard enough to crack a rib, you wouldn’t even have classified this as a kiss.

Then he pressed closer, stealing every breath you exhaled until there wasn’t anything but him. Every kiss with Sebastian seemed to rewrite your world, but this kiss completely undid everything. All that mattered was the minty aftertaste of the gum he’d been chewing earlier, the rough callouses of his hands scratching against your cheek, and his familiar musky aftershave scent enveloping you.

Slowly, he began pulling away, leaving a trail of kisses across your cheek as he chuckled. “I think I like kissing you when you’re hooked up to a heart monitor.”

His words made you realize that the monitor was beeping much faster than it had been just moments before and you ducked your head into his neck, huffing soft laughter.

“I like that sound too,” he murmured. “Been a while since you’ve laughed.”

“Yeah,” you whispered, risking a quick kiss to his neck. He brought his hand up to curl around your head, mindful of the bandage from surgery. His simple action anchored you to him; anchored you to this moment. This moment where the outside world didn’t exist. Where it was just you and him. “You know this isn’t over, right? I’m fucked up and a kiss isn’t going to make it all better.”

“I know. But I hope you know that I’m going to be right by your side through all of it. I don’t know why I married you in Vegas, but I know why I want to stay married to you.” At his declaration, you eased your head away from his neck and looked at him. With the sincerest expression you’d ever seen, he tucked your hair behind your ear and looked right into your eyes. “I’m all in, sweetheart. I’m willing to do whatever I need to, to get you good again. I have a therapist I go to sometimes who is great. Or we could find someone else, if you don’t want to mix that. Whatever you want.”

“I went to therapy in college,” you said weakly, about to argue that it hadn’t helped.

Sebastian apparently knew where you were going and broke in. “But you didn’t talk about everything, did you?” You shook your head and he gave you a reassuring smile. “Baby, you’ve gotta talk about it. All of it.”

A deep sigh escaped your lips and you laid your head back down on his shoulder. “I know.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead just before his chin came to rest on top of your head. “We’ll figure it out later, okay?”

“Okay,” you gave in, finally acknowledging that you’d stick around in his life. That you weren’t about to run away, and that you accepted that he wasn’t about to call the cops on you or divorce you right away.

A few minutes of comfortable silence tiptoed past. Finally, you stretched and climbed off of Seb’s lap. Your muscles protested, but you pushed through. As much as you’d love to stay curled up with Sebastian all day, your bladder had different plans.

The rest of the day was spent in familiar companionship. No more deep, dark discussions took place, and you managed to keep your self-hatred and depression at bay enough to enjoy the Lord of the Rings marathon Sebastian convinced you to start with him.

You knew this moment was the eye of the hurricane. The last few days had been hell, and the next few days or weeks would likely be just as bad or even worse.

But this moment? All was calm.

He said it! He said he loves her!! She agreed to stick around! Cancer free, love acknowledged, future plans... what more can you want??

Just the Epilogue left, y’all!!

EPILOGUE: THE END

[bucketsofgiggles]

To Be There

Steven Universe Future fanfic, a missing scene from "Growing Pains", from Greg's POV. Greg tries to be the best father he can, considering the circumstances, as he also grapples with the idea he hasn't been the best father. AO3 link in the reblog.

As Steven shrunk back down to normal size, Greg quickly reached out to pull his son into an embrace. He's relieved when Steven accepts it readily, considering what he had just recently been through. And there was clearly much more going on that Greg wasn’t aware of.

“ How am I supposed to live my life when it always feels like I’m about to die? ”

Those words kept echoing. What exactly had led Steven to feel such a way? How had he, as a father, not noticed such a drastic change in his son?

There’s a quick nock on the door, which causes Steven to tense in his arms. Rubbing his son’s back, Greg turns his head to see who walked in. Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran stands just inside the room, shutting the door behind her, a stack of papers in her arms. She meets his eyes as the door shuts and the initial look of fury the doctor gives him makes Greg jump. While her professional face slips back on quickly, Steven still notices.

“You okay, Dad?” His voice is muffled in Greg’s shoulder and he spots Dr. Maheswaran’s eyes soften at the question.

“Yeah, Schtew-ball, it’s just Dr. Maheswaran.”

“...Without Connie?”

Yeah, that’s gonna be a sore spot for a bit. “Yep, just her.”

She doesn’t move when she speaks up. “Take all the time you need, Steven.”

Steven takes a few more big, shuddering breaths, squeezes his father tightly for a second, then breaks away. He rubs his eyes slightly as he looks around Greg for Dr. Maheswaran. “I’m ready now.”

She nods in response. “I have some questionnaires I need you to fill out. Please answer them honestly,” She states, crossing the room to Steven and hands him the papers and a pen. “I’m going to speak to your father in my office for a bit, so please wait here until we return. Feel free to put your regular clothes back on.”

Steven nods and heads over to a desk in the corner of the room, gabbing his clothes along the way. He glances over the top sheet of the stack. Greg didn’t get a chance to see what kind of “questionnaires” they were exactly.

With Steven’s back turned, Dr. Maheswaran levels Greg a withering glare. Whatever she wants to speak with him about in her office, it can’t be good. Greg swallows hard as he turns to follow her out of the exam room. He turns back in the doorway.

“Steven, please text me if you need anything, okay?” He glances up from the papers, and gives his dad a ghost of a smile as he nods. Greg doesn’t miss the way his face falls as he turns back towards the papers, his narrowing eyes storming as he reads.

Following Dr. Maheswaran to her office, he is very much reminded of his school day trips to the principal. But there are two very different factors now: A. Greg hasn’t the foggiest idea why Dr. Maheswaran is so angry at him and B. His son is involved somehow. Has Steven been hurt? Was someone hurting him? Why didn’t Steven tell him? Or the Gems?

They walk in, Dr. Maheswaran shutting the door behind him, and silently indicates for him to take a seat. The office is just as meticulous as Greg expected, with not a single piece of paper or chart out of place. The filing cabinets are clearly labeled, the textbooks and journals on the selves are in alphabetical order by author last name, and her screensaver is the same family picture from the Maheswaran’s New Years card. The only personal effects are her medical degrees and licenses hanging on the wall and a few framed pictures of Connie and her husband on her desk. She quickly sits down behind the desk and tents her hands, obscuring her mouth but leaving her furious eyes well exposed.

“So, uh,” Greg desperately tries to break the tension. “How did your exam go-”

“Greg Universe, please explain to me how your teenage son has never been to a doctor before?” She doesn’t yell, but her tone is withering. Greg feels himself slide down in his seat in shame.

“Well, uh, the lack of health insurance sure didn’t help.”

“There are programs to help with that, especially for single parents.”

“Yeah, but how was I supposed to explain Steven to any doctor? You gotta realize he wasn’t born in a hospital, or even in a…” Greg fumbles on his words, cursing the way his cheeks burn with embarrassment. “You know, typical way.”

“Well that’s why he seemed confused when I asked for his social security number. Does he even have a birth certificate?”

“No…”

“Has he even been vaccinated?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe in them! But with his physiology, I had no idea how they would react-”

“ Greg Universe ”

“Look, things were chaotic! My wife was dead, I had a newborn son who isn’t even fully human, I was alternating living out of my van and crashing on a friends couch, without health insurance! And do you think if I had taken him in and said ‘Hey, here’s my newborn son with a gemstone stuck in his naval. His mother was an immortal alien being who fought a war to defend the Earth thousands of years ago, and died to give birth to him. I’m raising him alongside her fellow alien friends who also have gemstones stuck in their bodies. Oh, and I didn’t even have the type of gemstone right at the time because his mother lied about who she was to escape her horrible home planet! ’ How would you have reacted?”

“It did take me witnessing Steven in action to fully believe it," Dr. Maheswaran shrugs a bit, her face relaxing slightly.

“Look, I did strongly consider it multiple times, but I was afraid of how they’d treat him. Plus, Steven never got sick or injured. Never. Not even those non-stop sniffles little kids get. Not a cold, not a fever, not a stomach bug; he was exceptionally healthy his entire childhood. Heck, he never even scraped his knees!”

Dr. Maheswaran sighs at that. “That actually leads well into one thing I found that we need to discuss.” She turns towards her computer screen, shakes the mouse to wake it up, and starts typing and clicking rapidly, leaving Greg clueless as to what she meant. Did Steven get hurt? Was he sick? After all these years and all the various incredible things he’s done, it seemed almost comical.

Then Dr. Maheswaran turned her screen around, and any thought of this situation being a comedy died. It's an x-ray of an upper body labeled “Universe, Steven ''. He didn’t need a doctor’s trained eye to see the various cracks and fracture lines running throughout Steven’s skeletal system, spiderwebbing through his ribs, spiraling down his upper arms, and some truly large and painful-looking breaks to his face.

“H- how?” Greg sputters, though he knows the reason - Steven’s healing powers.

“It seems that Steven’s Gem half is able to instantaneously heal any physical injury, major or minor, he experiences. The bones set and re-heal from the moment they break.” She hits the arrow keys and a few more images scroll past: His arms, legs, back, close-ups of his face, hands, and feet. All of them have some healed fracture lines on them, evidence that despite him never saying a word, Steven had been getting severely hurt for years. His son was getting this badly injured and Greg never noticed. Despite the horror gnawing at his gut, he couldn’t look away.

“Now, this is unprecedented in the medical field. Miraculous, even. And every test I ran on your son came back negative. Steven is physically a perfectly healthy teenage boy, even with his injury history.”

“Well then, that’s good, right?”

Dr. Maheswaran sighed. “These kinds of injuries...some of them only occur in cases of severe physical trauma. And Steven listed for me a number of incredibly severe, repeated instances of traumatic experiences he went through as a child. And then he indicated to me that that wasn’t all of them. I know his upbringing and heritage is...unusual, but he still has human anatomy and a human mind. And any human, especially a child or teenager, who went through that number and level of traumatic experiences for as long as he did is going to experience some mental effects.

“The questionnaires I gave Steven before we left the room were diagnostic screeners for Adverse Childhood Experiences, Major Depressive Disorder in teens, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in teens. And I might not be a psychiatrist, but I can say, based on my exam and conversation with Steven, that I am 98% certain of the PTSD diagnosis and 95% on the depression diagnosis. Those screeners are just a last bit of confirmation, as well as further evidence for his chart. Mr. Universe, your son is experiencing major mental health challenges.”

Greg stares at the doctor, slack jawed. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he feels a tear trace down his cheek. He goes to brush it away, and finds his hands are shaking. “I-I don’t...how did I not see?”

Dr. Maheswaran gives Greg a look of sympathy for the first time. “Honestly, I don’t think Steven even realizes just how much an effect all his traumatic experiences have had on him. That’s not at all uncommon, especially in cases like his where multiple traumatic events were experienced.” Greg groans, and Dr. Maheswaran pulls a box of tissues out from behind her desk and hands them to him. “Steven has experienced so many traumatic events that his body and mind have almost gotten used to being in mortal peril. But now that he no longer isn’t experiencing that, his body isn’t used to dealing with much more minor forms of stress, so it does what it’s used to; preparing for a potentially deadly scenario.”

And Steven’s words finally make sense. Steven has spent years realistically believing he might die, and now it’s all he’s ever known. All those Gem missions, over all the years… Greg had let him go. Greg had allowed Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl to take his son out on various dangerous, potentially deadly missions multiple times. And he stayed back, not wanting to get involved in a world he didn’t belong to. And even when he began to express concerns about it, Steven and the Gems all reassured him that things were fine. Steven had seemed fine . And Greg knew in his heart that if he pulled Steven away from Crystal Gem business, if he forbade him from going on missions, Steven might not have forgiven him.

Greg wonders now if he should’ve risked that anyway.

“So, what do I do now?”

“We can help your son. Rest assured, you are not alone in helping Steven deal with this. I will take on the role of Steven’s general practitioner. There is an excellent child psychologist in this hospital, Dr. Jeanne Greenlow, who I will refer Steven too, and I will make sure she fully understands his...unusual background. Unless something is indicated on the screeners I gave him, I expect that Steven will go home with you today.”

Dr. Maheswaran stands up, walks over to Greg, kneels down so they are at eye level, and places a hand on his shoulder. Her eyes have softened considerably, and the touch on his shoulder is fully comforting. “What you can do for Steven, right now, is take him home and be there for him. That, as his father, is the best thing you can do for him at this moment.”

Greg can tell that in every aspect of Dr. Maheswaran’s behavior, from her posture to her expression to her vocal tone, she was not speaking as a doctor, but as a fellow parent. Some of the panic that’s in him dies down as he meets her eyes. “I will, I promise.”

She nods, then stands up. “Let’s go see if he’s done.” Greg agrees, getting up and following her out of the door and back down the hospital hallways. His mind still swarms, but he pushes it all aside for now. He needs to focus on Steven, on what he needs, on being the best father he can be. Which is apparently going to have to be far better than what Greg has done so far.

As they approach the exam room, Dr. Maheswaran stops, spins around, and gives Greg another hard look. It’s not nearly as severe as some of her earlier ones, but it still makes him shudder a bit. “You need to discuss this with the Gems. Promise me you’ll do that.”

He blinks, slightly shocked. “Of course, I promise.”

She spins back around, takes a deep breath, puts on a much more soothing face, and opens the exam room door. Greg follows quickly enough behind to see Steven, now dressed in his regular clothes, sitting on the exam table, phone in hand. When his eyes meet Greg’s face, his pupils shrink and Greg realizes it’s obvious he’s been crying. Another pang of guilt hits him for making Steven worry again, so he puts on a smile as he walks over to the table and sits next to Steven. Almost instinctively, Steven scooches close and Greg puts his arm around his son. Knowing the news Dr. Maheswaran is about to break to him, Greg figures more hugs are better.

“Did you finish the questionnaires?” She asks, her tone far more gentle than anything she used with Greg, which does not at all make him angry. If anything, he’s grateful to Dr. Maheswaran for how well she’s handled this situation. Steven nods, handing her the stack of papers. “Great, give me a few minutes to put your answers into the computer.”

As she heads over to the desktop sitting on the corner desk and begins typing, Steven lays his head on Greg’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for worrying you.” His voice is whispered, creaking slightly.

���Don’t apologize for anything, Steven. Absolutely none of this is your fault.”

“It’s not good news, is it?”

Greg sighs. “No, but it’s not the end of the world either, kiddo. We’ll get through it. I’ll help you get through it.”

They sit, silent only for the sound of typing. After a few more minutes, Dr. Maheswaran gives a little hum at whatever pops up on her monitor, then turns towards the two of them. Her eyes are soft and full of sympathy. Greg pulls Steven closer as she approaches, sits down close to Steven, and begins to explain the diagnoses. She tells him everything she already told Greg in her office, and that she’s already sent his chart with a referral note to Dr. Greenlow’s office.

“Once the referral is processed, your father will get a call from her office to schedule an appointment.” At this, Dr. Maheswaran gives a pointed look at Greg, with the unspoken and he will pick up that phone call and make the appointment clearly in her gaze.

“Wait, why does Dad need to make the appointment? I could do it.” Steven asks.

“It’s protocol, as you’re still a minor in the eyes of the law.”

Greg can see the refutes brewing in Steven’s brain, up to and including his dismantling of a millennium-long, multi-galaxy, tyrannical rule, but he’s clearly too physically and mentally tired to make the argument.

At the end, Dr. Maheswaran gives Greg a polite handshake, and then, after a moment's hesitation, pulls Steven into a hug. Though she whispers, he can still make out the words she says to Steven. “I know things between you and Connie are...difficult right now, but she wanted me to tell you that she’s ready to talk whenever you are. She’s okay with waiting because she wants you to be comfortable first. So, don't push yourself, okay?"

Steven pulls away, wiping a tear from his eye. “Thanks, Dr. Maheswaran.”

“Of course, Steven. Feel better, and please, reach out if you need to see me again.”

Greg and Steven agree and they leave the room, Greg grabbing the duffle he had dropped outside the exam room when he spotted Steven through the window. It had just a few days worth of clothes and essentials, but he had more of his stuff still at the car wash, and he could use Steven’s washer and dryer for laundry. He had to leave the van with Sadie and Shep; they had dropped him off in front of the hospital and went on, the tour still tentatively on unless they heard otherwise from him. He would have to call them, but decided it could wait until tomorrow.

Steven pulling the Dondai keys from his jacket pocket answered the question of how to get home before Greg could ask it. But as they got to the parking lot and approached the car, Steven stopped short.

“Do you want me to drive?” Greg asked.

“...Yeah, I’m a bit tired.” Steven said, handing the keys over.

Greg got the car unlocked so Steven could sit down, threw his duffle in the trunk, then got in and began driving back towards Beach City. The ride starts silent, Steven staring out the window blankly. Greg has never been the one to ride in silence; it makes him uneasy to not have some music in the background. After checking the tape deck and finding it empty, he fiddles with the radio until he finds the radio station Shep had stumbled upon, which plays a lot of soft, acoustic music. It had been good post-show calm-down tracks, and Greg feels that it would be best after everything that had happened. He knows he’s right when he glances at Steven and sees him smiling softly, fingers tapping along on the window.

They approach the house, and the pair get out of the car, Steven grabbing Greg’s duffle for him. The two enter, Greg calling out a “Hey, we’re home. And by we, I mean I’m here with Steven.”

“The Gems aren’t here,” Steven says behind him. “Little Homeschool field trips, they’ll be back tomorrow."

“Well, then it’s just you and me, lil man. Like the old days.”

“Yeah, like the old days…” Steven replies, a little wistful. “You sure you’ll be okay on the couch?”

“Yeah, my back ain’t that old yet,” Greg states, but the little pang that he feels when he says that argues otherwise. But Steven doesn’t need to know that; the last thing he needs to feel is guilty.

“Okay. I’m gonna uh…” Steven starts as he climbs up the stairs, but his voice trailing off soon turns into a groan.

“What’s going on?”

“I forgot I left my room a mess.”

Greg climbs up the stairs, and manages to push down the sound of shock he feels climbing up his throat. While not meticulous, Steven did like to keep his space orderly and clean (although Greg figures Pearl had no small part in that). So the complete mess - cartons of melted ice cream, dirty bowls stacked on top of each other, clothes strewn about, bed unmade - of his son’s room was quite shocking. Greg only feels more guilty at not noticing something sooner; the seriousness of this was made all the more clear.

He spots Steven’s shoulders sag as they take in the state of his room, and Greg knows he needs to make things as easy on him as possible. “Hey, don’t worry about it, Schtew-ball. I’ll clean this up. You go grab your pajamas and go downstairs to get changed.”

“But, Dad, it’s my room and my mess. I should handle it.”

“Steven, it’s okay, you’ve had a long day. I don’t mind helping you out a bit.”

There’s a few seconds before Steven sighs, telling Greg he’s won. “Okay, but let me take the bowls downstairs and wash them, if I’m going to head down anyway.”

Greg decides not to argue, knowing Steven will feel better by helping a little bit. He was never one to let others do a job he felt responsible for. As he grabs his pajamas and the bowls and heads back downstairs, Greg wonders if that’s partly what led to all of this. The task of picking up the room allows him to not dwell on that thought.

Once he’s done, Greg heads downstairs, Steven’s bedding in his arms. As he turns the corner into the living room, he sees Steven on the couch, scrolling through his phone, the bowls and spoons lined up perfectly on the drying rack by the sink. “Hey, the laundry room’s still on the hand with the warp pad, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Figured it might be good to give your sheets a wash, but if you gotta warp me up there-”

“No, no, that’s okay. Honestly, they probably need it.”

They quickly head up to the laundry set-up outside and throw Steven’s bedding in the machine. When they warp back down, Steven’s stomach rumbles.

“Been a while since you ate?”

“Yeah, and it was mostly ice cream…” Steven says, making his way over to the kitchen. Greg follows as Steven looks through his cupboards and fridge, shoulders shagging as he mumbles different meal options under his breath, accounting for prep and cook time and if there’s enough for two.

“Hey, Steven,” Greg finally interrupts the third time Steven debates the box of pasta. “Let’s just call Fish Stew Pizza for dinner and have a pizza-and-a-bad-movie night, like we did when you were a kid. Sound like fun?”

Steven glances at the cupboard again, then grins at him. It’s not nearly as large as Steven’s typical smiles, but it’s the largest he’s given today and Greg’s heart is full.

Steven goes back up to his room to go through his movie collection while Greg calls Fish Stew and places their typical delivery order. As he finishes, the ordering process elongated by Kofi getting on the line and catching up, Steven returns downstairs with one of the Boomerang Blade movies. Greg would’ve gone with whatever Steven wanted, but he definitely can’t say no when he sees the smile still on his son’s face.

They move Steven’s bedding to the dryer and start the movie, curling under blankets at the foot of his bed. About 20 minute in, there’s a knock at the door.

“That must be the pizza, I’ll run down and get it,” Greg says as Steven reaches to hit the pause button. He makes his way back downstairs and opens the door for Kiki, holding the extra large box in her hands.

“Hey, Mr. Universe! Didn’t believe you were in town when my dad mentioned it. What happened to the tour?”

“Oh it’s still going on, but uh…” Greg glances up the stairs. Steven certainly wouldn’t want Greg telling Kiki, or anybody else for that matter, about his PTSD diagnosis without his permission. “Steven had something come up so I decided to pay him a visit and help.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” She says as Greg hands her the money. “Tell him I said hello!”

“Will do, have a good night!”

Greg makes his way back up the stairs, balancing the box in one hand, and spots Steven’s eyes the moment he re-enters his room. There’s a level of fear and embarrassment in there. “Was that Kiki?” Greg nods as he sits back down on the floor, putting the box between them. Steven grabs a slice and stares at it a moment. “Did she say anything about you being here?”

“Yeah, but I just said you had something come up, so I decided to visit.”

“Nothing else?”

“Nope,” Greg pauses as he takes a slice of his own, and takes in the concern on his son’s face. “I won’t tell anyone about the PTSD or anything else that happened today without you being there or without your permission. But,” he interjects when the relief starts to flood Steven’s face. “Dr. Maheswaran wants us to tell the Gems. And honestly, I agree with her. At least Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. They raised you, they were around you for a lot of what you went through, you still live with them. They need to know what’s going on.”

Greg holds his breath while Steven processes what he just said. He hates pilling it all on now, but it needs to be said and discussed and the conversation led there naturally. With the Gems out until tomorrow, they need to plan out how the conversation will go.

“You’re right,” Steven finally says. “They need to, should, know what happened.”

“Right. So, how do you want to handle it? Do you want to do it on your own, do you want me to do it?”

There’s another pause as Steven thinks. Greg hates putting stress on him, especially after everything, but it’s better now than throwing him into a situation tomorrow he’s unprepared for. “Can we both do it? Together?”

“Of course, Schtew-ball. I’ll do whatever you need me to.”

There’s another small smile, and it stays as Steven turns back towards the TV and unpauses the movie.

They go through the movie and the pizza, Steven taking care of more than half the box himself. Greg lets him; that Gem-stress response looks like it took a lot of energy. Once the credits roll, they venture back up to the laundry hand to grab Steven’s bedding from the dryer, then warp back downstairs. As Greg passes the kitchen, an idea comes to him.

“Hey, do you mind making your bed? I’ve got to do something real quick.”

“Uh, okay, sure.” Steven says, then heads upstairs. Once he’s around the corner, Greg runs to the cupboard, rifling through and- Ah ha! He thought he spotted the hot cocoa packaging. He grabs a mug and some milk, warms it up, and stirs the cocoa and marshmallows in until it looks perfectly soothing. As quickly as he can without spilling, he makes his way up the stairs to see Steven smoothing the corners of his duvet.

His eyebrows raise at the mug. “I still have hot cocoa?”

“I spotted the box while you were looking through earlier. A hot drink never made anyone feel worse.” There’s a little grin as Greg approaches the bed and Steven climbs in, old routines coming back despite the years. Steven sips and they chat a bit more about the day and what has to come tomorrow. Soon, Steven starts slipping himself more under the covers, his blinks becoming longer.

“Get some sleep, Schtew-ball. You’ve had a long day.”

Steven makes a noise of agreement as he fully lays down and rolls onto his side, facing away from Greg, and it’s like they had just done this yesterday. He carefully reaches a hand out towards Steven’s curls, and rubs them as he begins to sing softly. Comforting nostalgia fills him as the time passes Steven’s breathing becomes more even, both slipping into a routine from way back when he was really little. Even if his son is older, and bigger, bringing peace to galaxies, the curly haired teen sound asleep in bed was still Greg’s little boy. He would always be there to support him, to love him.

Guilt pangs deep in Greg’s chest. He didn’t support him, not enough, not this time, not so many times before. Steven might be calm now, but there was tomorrow to face, and the days after it. There were so many unknowns and how to handle them seemed insurmountable if Greg thought about it too hard.

Who knows how challenging they must feel to Steven, who responded to stress as though he could die.

But those were all tomorrow things. So all he could do now was reflect on the awful father he had been.

Years, years, of unending trauma had been inflicted on his kid and he hadn’t noticed the effects, hadn’t even stopped to really ask if Steven was okay. He acted like he was doing fine, and Greg had believed him. And after everything he’d been through over the past six years, Greg had left his son alone so he could, what? Relive his glory days traveling the country? What kind of a father was he?

Greg groaned as he recalled his earlier phone call with Steven. He had probably called to reach out, to talk at least about his failed proposal to Connie, and what had Greg done? Ignored the strain in his voice and joyfully talked about the tour being extended. Made his son feel that pulling him away from the tour would be burdensome. Gave him another excuse to not talk about his feelings. Took away another social support, and left him to face this alone.

How was he going to make all of that up to Steven?

He couldn’t believe Steven wasn’t angry with him. He would be if the roles were reversed. But Steven had been so relieved the moment Greg walked into the hospital room. And he had given him some genuine smiles throughout the evening, and seemed to enjoy everything Greg had done. What Dr. Maheswaran had told him, speaking parent-to-parent, went through his mind again.

He looked back down at Steven, still soundly asleep. Greg knew his son well enough that he’d forgive his father’s mistakes, tell him it wasn’t a big deal, that he should forget about it.

But Greg wasn’t going to forget his failings, nor forgive them quite just yet. He hasn’t yet done enough for forgiveness. But he will. To be the father he promised Rose and himself he would be before Steven was born, he will be there for his son. He won’t let his son face this alone anymore.

“ How am I supposed to live my life when it always feels like I’m about to die? ”

Greg Universe was going to help his son live again.

[scenariosofkonoha]

Life’s Different Now | Modern! Kakashi   2/?

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3|  Part 4| Part 5| Part 6

Summary: Small dinner at Shisui’s house getting prepped for a Obito and Rin’s wedding. MC’s job/adaption to being back is discussed and finds out that their latest project is with someone in particular. 

*****

“‘Remodel my house, I got everything you need,’ he said,” you muttered to yourself as you tried to lower a circular saw onto the orange flat bed cart. “‘Except I have no power tools and only three screw drivers.’” you spat as you tried to move the wood planks over to better fit your newly acquired power tool. You had always been better at doing things with your hands than Shisui, but for him to only have three screwdrivers in his entire house left you nearly speechless and with a pricey credit card bill from Home Depot.  

Brushing off the saw dust, you frowned knowing that you probably should have changed out of your work outfit before going to the hardware store, but oh well. Down the aisle, you could see Itachi coming toward you, a gallon of paint in each hand. “Can you tell me why you are getting paint for the main room if you haven’t even finished the kitchen?” he asked as he added the gallons to the cart. 

“That paint’s actually for the kitchen and the main room. I’m ripping those terrible cabinets out this weekend and putting new ones in, but I’m going to paint them this black color and then have that color also as accents in the main room,” you offered as you tapped the cans with your foot. Despite your explanation, you could see the uncertainty in your cousin’s eyes. “You just gotta trust me on this. I promise it’ll look good.” you offered as you started to push the cart towards the front of the store. “We should also go before I spend more money on power tools though…” 

“I was going to stop you if you tried.” he gave a small smile as he followed.  

The two of you checked out and began your way back to Shisui’s place. You, along with some others in your friend circle were meeting tonight for dinner and to potentially discuss some of the logistics of Obito and Rin’s wedding. It wasn’t until the fall, but Obito was the first out of your generation in the family to get married, so it was a bit of a big deal, and the stronger that the core wedding party was, the less haggling you would get from more distant members. 

Rin had also been given a stack of coupons from one of her patients that were for BOGO pizza and pasta at one of the local restaurants with no limitations, so you all were going to take advantage of that. Truthfully, that was the real reason for the dinner, but you were going to pretend like you were all functioning adults and have goals. 

Pulling in front of the home, you could see two other cars already parked. You had yet to be able to match each car to its owner, so you were at a loss of who was actually home. Shrugging to Itachi as he took the keys out, you spoke. “Well, at least we’re not last,” you offered, stepping out of the car. Then looking over the top of the car, you scrunched your face at him, “I think if we ask nicely, we can get Shisui to unpack the car. You know, because…” you trailed off racking your brain to think of a reason to manipulate your brother into hauling everything in through the snow. 

“Because we were already so thoughtful by going to Home Depot on a Friday to pick up his stuff,” Itachi offered, a small smirk upon his face as he locked the car. “It’s the least he could do.” 

You copied his smirk as the pair of you started to walk to the front door. As you made your way in and took off all the layers necessary for the arctic temperatures that plagued you, a sweet voice called out to you. 

“I heard you were back in the country, but I was wondering when I was finally going to get to see you again!” she laughed out.  

“Rin!” you smiled as you went over to hug her. Giving her a tight squeeze, you continued your smile. “Where have you been and how on Earth were you able to skip out on all of the holiday parties?” you asked. “Please tell me how- the only way I had found was to be an ocean away.”  

She rolled her eyes, “I was working, the hospital is so busy this time of year; it’s nearly impossible to leave.” she answered with a shrug. “I did get a talking to by Obito about how many people were wondering where I was, but luckily they had you to distract them, so thank you,” she laughed.   

“Speaking of Obito, where is he?” 

Motioning you to come join her in the living room, she answered, “Him and Shisui went to go pick up dinner and drinks. I guess it takes two?”

“Uchiha’s go in packs, you should know this.” Kakashi teased as you came into the room. “There are very few exceptions.” he finished with a nod to you. 

“You’re not wrong…” you admitted, sitting down in a chair. “Do we have an ETA on the boys? I kinda skipped lunch, because I didn’t like the catering at work.” you asked, now knowing that was a mistake and that you would not be repeating that any time soon. 

Hearing that, Rin’s eye widened a bit. “Wait…” she interjected. “You have a job already? Hasn’t it only been like three weeks?” she asked, her uncertainty evident. Then quickly shaking her head, she apologized, “Sorry- not that it’s surprising you could get a job, but wow, that’s just fast, and isn’t architecture competitive?” she added hastily. 

You gave a small chuckle, “It’s okay, don’t worry.” Pulling your legs up onto the chair, you filled her in. “I work for a private architecture firm. They have a sister branch overseas that I worked with all throughout my masters, so it was an easy transition. I started right after the new year.” 

“Wow...” she trailed for a moment, still processing it. Couldn’t blame her honestly. You had better odds of getting struck down by lightning than finding a decent job right out of college. Straightening up a bit, she nodded, “Well I’m glad you’re settling easily.”

“Oh that’s literally the only thing I have going for me right now.” you gave out a small chuckle trying to hide the instability in your life right now. “I don’t know how y'all did it,” you offered. “Finding an apartment, a car, insurance, all that stuff that you need to be an adult… I literally feel like I’m drowning half the time.” you kept your voice light to lift the weight of the truth.  

“We didn’t pack up our whole life and moved across the world with 2 weeks notice.” Itachi offered as he handed you a drink. “You’re doing everything all at once.”

You shrugged. “It’ll get done. Always does” you let out a small laugh, trying the mask any uncertainty that was in your voice. Best not let them know that you were still trying to decide if this was the right decision.  

Rin nodded as she sat down in the chair next to yours. “Right, and you’re you, so you’ll be fine.” she affirmed. “But, do you have good projects yet at work? Or are they making you do boring beginner stuff?” 

A genuine smile came upon your face. “Actually, kinda?” you nodded. “There’s a small college like 20 miles away from here and it needs to be completely remodeled, so I’m on that task.  It’s kinda nice, because I like to focus on interiors, and you know, there’s not a whole lot that needs to be done exterior wise there.” you said.

“Wait… Are you remodeling Jenkins?” she inquired, giving a quick glance around the room.

“Uh, yeah I think that’s the name? Why?” 

Rin smirked as she looked across the room. “Kakashi, isn’t that your college?” she interjected.

He nodded. “Yeah and it needs the renovations. A bunch of ceiling tiles started falling down in the lab last semester. Scared a bunch of undergrads.” he shrugged as if it were nothing.  

Tapping your arm, she looked at you. “Well it looks like you have someone there-” she started but was interrupted by a loud pounding on the door. “Oh- I guess they made it here? Or that’s Asuma and Kuernai?” she murmured as she stood up to go help whoever it was. “Itachi, can you come here? I have a feeling they tried to carry everything in with one trip…” she clenched her jaw nervously. 

“Please save the pesto,” you pleaded as they both left the room. 

Then looking back over to Kakashi, you continued. “I always forget that you teach too.” You knew that he had graduated with his doctorate in chemistry last year, but you just never connected the dots of him being a professor now. “What are you teaching this semester?”

“Gen chem and ochem,” he replied. “Both lab and lecture,” he slightly frowned. “I used to only do the lab portion of them, but our lecturer quit, so I got roped into doing the lecture too…” he said, enthusiasm lacking in his tone. 

“Isn’t that a lot…?” you asked. You weren’t quite sure how science classes worked, but with all of your engineering classes, the lectures and labs were taught by two different professors, and seldom did one of your professors teach two different classes without someone helping.

He nodded reluctantly. 

“Well, I guess I’m going to have to go to one of your lectures then.” you teased, now trying to evade the fact that he was probably under a lot of pressure now.. “You know, to get a better feel of how the professors and students interact with their space- architecture stuff.” you smirked as you saw this statement make him recline a bit. 

Giving a quick shake of his head, he tried to persuade you. “I’m not any good at lecturing. Really.” he insisted. With others, he probably would have dropped it there, but he knew you were persistent. “You could come to my office hours if you want instead.” 

“Oh I'll do that too” you nodded, “Remember, I still owe you for that coffee a few years back.”

*****

A/N: what do you guy think? Is this any good? Are any of y’all enjoying it? Sorry is took so long. 

[avengerscompound]

Legacy - Chapter 9

Legacy: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  2185

Rating:  E

Square filled:   @clintbartonbingo - Free Space

Warnings:  Pregnancy, domestic abuse, post-endgame, angst, developing-relationship, hurt/comfort, smut, Laura and Clint have broken up.  Comic Clint/MCU Clint mix.

Synopsis: Nothing is the same after the events of Endgame.  When Clint has trouble returning to a life where his family hasn’t changed but he has lost everything, he moves back to the city and tries to move on as a single parent. When Nate finds you bruised and pregnant in the stairwell of his building, he decides that there might be another way that he can make Nat’s sacrifice worth something.

Chapter 9

You had fallen asleep not long after you’d been moved to your maternity room.  It was a nice room.  Clint putting you on his health insurance meant you got the best.  No point risking your life all the time if there weren’t some perks.  It had a queen-sized bed.  A proper bed too.  Not just one of those uncomfortable hospital ones with the wheels.  There was a comfortable chair specially designed for breastfeeding.  A couch for visitors.  A big screen tv.  There was a private bathroom that even had a spa, though Clint didn’t quite understand who would want to actually stew in a pool of still water after they’d given birth.

After they’d brought you back to the room you’d fretted about the baby for a while and then passed out exhausted.  He’d napped with you, curled around you protectively.  It had been a long day and he was exhausted after everything.

He didn’t sleep deeply and woke just a few hours later.  He wasn’t sure what exactly was keeping him awake.  Perhaps he was just worried about you and wanted to be awake to take care of you if he needed it.  Maybe it was that the baby wasn’t in the room with you both.  When Laura had given birth Nate he’d just been left with them.  Now he had a new baby and they just weren't here.

He got up and went to the hall.  It was busier out there with nursing staff moving around, babies crying, people taking little walks, flowers and teddy bears being delivered, and visitors coming to take a look at the new member of their family.  Clint made a few phone calls.  He called Laura first to check she made it to the kids okay and to let her know the baby was here. He spoke to the kids and told them about their new sister.  Then he called Kate to let her know too.  Finally, he rang Pepper.  You technically weren’t supposed to start your maternity leave for another week and while Pepper was way, way up the chain for who would actually be affected by you not showing up, he thought she might like to hear about the new baby Avenger.  He then texted some of the others to let them know too.  As soon as he did his phone began to buzz with congratulations.

It was touching that they cared really.  That even though the new baby wasn’t technically his, they were all on board with the idea that this baby was his.  That after all the death in the world they’d had to mourn, now they had a new life to celebrate.

After he’d made the calls he went for a short walk.  First to check on the baby.  She was so tiny and fragile looking as she slept in her incubator.  With what he knew about the Universe he hoped he was strong enough to protector her.  Or at least strong enough to know that sometimes you couldn’t and she’d have to live her own life too.  He ran his hand down her back and felt the small rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

“You get big and strong, little one.  We want to take you home as soon as we can.”  He whispered.

After visiting with her he went for a walk to the cafeteria, grabbing himself a coffee and a danish.  He wanted to bring you back something too but was worried you might not be allowed to drink coffee yet and he also didn’t want to wake you.  So he grabbed a bottle of Snapple and a danish for you too before heading back upstairs.

There was a large edible arrangement sitting at the door with a big pink plush duck sitting on top.  He looked at the card and saw it was from Pepper.  He was glad that he’d organized those few playdates with Pepper.  It was good seeing Morgan and Nate playing together and he wanted to keep that bond with Pepper now that Tony was gone.  It was too easy to put those things off until the people in your life you considered your family were just a bunch of strangers you tell people are your friends.  They’d all been through too much and lost too much to let that happen.  He and Pepper had lost more than anyone.

He scooped it up and carried it inside the room, finding you sitting up in bed looking at your phone.  “There you are.  I was about to text you.”  You said.

“Sorry,”  Clint said sheepishly.  “Didn’t mean to worry you.  Just thought I’d check on the baby.”

“Who’s that from?”  You asked indicating to the bouquet made from chocolates.

“Pepper sent it.  Cool, huh?”  He said putting it on the ledge behind the bed.  “Got you a drink and a danish too.”  He added plopping both in your lap and kissing you on the top of your head.

“It’s awesome.”  You said.  “How’s bubs?”

“She seems fine.  Tiny but some of the babies in there are hooked up to a bunch of things, she’s not.  So I take that as a good sign.”  He said.

You smiled and took a swig from the bottle before dragging over a pile of paperwork.  “Nurse dropped this off while you were gone. It’s the birth certificate stuff.  You sure you want to go on this.  I can keep the name blank.”

“Will you stop that?”  Clint said.  “I don’t want her to think my involvement in her life comes with conditions.  Okay?  I’m her dad.”

You curled into his side and grabbed a pen, writing in Clinton Francis Barton under father.  You let out a breath when you did and turned your head up to look at him.  He leaned in and kissed you deeply, his thumb caressing your neck as his lips moved with yours.

You pulled back and tapped your pen on the form.  “So just the name then.”

“You didn’t have any names you’d talked about before?”  He asked.

“I never talked to Richard about them.  When I was a kid I guess I had some favorites.”  You said.  “I just… is it weird that I want to pay tribute to your friends?  Natasha particularly.  It feels like she’s the reason why we’re together.”

Clint let out a soft breath, tears pricking his eyes.  “Nat was always setting me up with people.”  He said.  “Still doing it, huh?”

You smiled and nuzzled into him.  “Feels that way.”  You said.  “The problem is having a Nat and a Nate would be a little confusing.”

“Her middle name was Alianova,”  Clint said.  “Maybe we could do something with that?”

You pulled out your phone and started typing into it.  “Huh.  This says that means her dad’s name was Alian.”

Clint furrowed his brow.  “That’s weird.  Red Skull said it was Ivan.”  He shook his head like he was trying to clear it.  He hated thinking about that moment.  Where he’d gone from being excited about flying an actual spaceship with his best friend, on his way to get his kids back to having to watch her die.  It didn’t matter what her father’s name was anyway.  She never knew who it was.

“Ali could be nice.”  You said.

“That’s normally short for something though.  What would it be short for?”  He said.

“It doesn’t have to be.  There’s a kid in New Zealand named ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’.  I don’t think there’s anything stopping us from just calling her just Ali.”  You said.

Clint choked.  “That can’t be true.”

“It is!  So… what do you think?”   You said.

“About the name ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’?  It’s a bit long.”  Clint teased.

You laughed and elbowed him.  “No.”

“If we’re just gonna give her a shortened name, why not Tasha?”  Clint said.

You looked back up at him and smiled.  “Tasha is good.  Works better with Antonia as a middle name too.”

Clint pulled you tight and kissed you again, holding you close.  He pulled back and looked down at you.  “I love you so fucking much, you know?”

“I love you too.”  You said, resting your head on his shoulder.  “So that’s what it is?  Tasha Antonia Barton?”

“Barton too?”  He said.

You pulled back from him pulling the papers closer.  “Shit.  Sorry.  I went too far, didn’t I?  It can be my name.”

Clint put his hand on yours.  It was scary really, but for some reason, he wasn’t second-guessing this at all.  “No.  I’d love for her to be a Barton.”

You kissed his cheek and filled in the name.  “Alright, you just gotta sign it and then we send it off.  Then that’s it.  She’ll have her name and you’re officially her dad.”

“Good,”  Clint said.  “We should do that right away then.”

There was a knock at the door and Laura peeked her head in.  “You up for visitors?”

“Sure.”  You said and she pushed the door open more letting in Cooper, Lila and Nate.

“We just finished naming her,”  Clint said as Nate climbed up into his lap.

“What did you choose?”  Lila asked as she put the large bouquet of sunflowers next to the edible one from Pepper.

“Tasha Antonia Barton,”  Clint said.  He noticed a look from Laura but he wasn’t quite sure what it was.  Surprise maybe.  She didn’t say anything though and he didn’t want to chase it.

“Where is she, daddy?”  Nate asked.

“She is very little and needs a bit of extra care so the doctors have her in a special room.  Do you want to go see her?”   Clint asked.

“Yes please, dad,”  Lila said.

Clint got up, lifting Nate onto his hip and pulling Lila into a headlock and kissing the top of her head.  “Alright, come on.  Are you coming to, hun?”

You got up out of the bed and pulled a robe on.  “Yes.  I might see if I can feed her.”

Your little group made your way down to the NICU.  When you got there the kids were looked over by a nurse, made to wash their hands and you were all led in.  “Here’s your little sister, Tasha,”  Clint said when they got to the incubator.

“What’s the fings for, daddy?”  Nate asked pointing at the wires that were attached to her.

“Just keeping track of her heart because she’s so small,”  Clint said.

“She’s really beautiful.  Congratulations.”  Laura said giving you a rub on the back.

“Thank you, Laura.”  You replied.

“Can we touch her?”  Lila asked.

“Yes, but gently just on her back,”  Clint said.

Each of the kids took turns putting a hand on her back and then Clint, Laura, and the kids were led out while you stayed behind and they put her against your chest to attempt breastfeeding.

Clint and Laura stood watching from the viewing window as you had Tasha tucked in under your shirt.  Laura sent the kids down to the vending machine in an attempt to stop them from getting bored.

“Did I tell you how proud I am of you?”  Laura said putting his arm around Clint’s waist.

Clint put his arm around her shoulder and she tucked herself into his side.  Something she had done a million times before.  “Yeah?”  He said.

“Yeah.  You've really stepped up.  You've always been such a good dad.  This is gonna be no different.”  She said.  “Nat would be proud of you too.”

“I hope so.”  He said, keeping his eyes trained on you.

“When Damien was killed, I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again.  Especially not with another SHIELD agent.  Then Nat pushed you at me, and you were such a huge dork but so good.  Not perfect but good.  You never pushed me faster than I could go.  You were always worried about us getting hurt.  Not just me, but the kids too.  I fell in love with you, and the kids did too in their own way.  When they asked if you'd adopt them you didn't even hesitate when you said yes.”  Laura said, wiping her eyes.

Clint felt his heart stutter a little and guilt start to creep in, guilt for everything that went wrong that meant he was not the man that could hold that together anymore.  His arm tightened around her shoulders.  She patted his stomach reassuringly and looked up at him.  “No one predicted the blip.  It's not your fault we couldn't last it.  I'm really happy you've found love again though.  You deserve it.  It gives me hope too, that I might get it again too.  Things can be found after what happened.”

Clint turned and looked at her, frowning slightly.  “Of course you can.  You're amazing, Laur.  You'll get someone who deserves you.  Someone who will actually be around.”

“I hope so.”  She said and leaned up and kissed him. “Congratulations, Clint.  She's beautiful.  You are going to be really happy”

Clint looked back in at you, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't doubt that at all.

// NEXT

[yung-tamale]

How to Pass Your Drivers Exam (and What You Probably Won’t Learn in School)

You’ve finally gotten your drivers permit. Congratulations! 

You are now one step closer to getting your drivers license, which is an important milestone which most people strive to achieve. 

However, there are some things you can do in order to possibly pass your exam, and get that drivers license. 

Here are some tips/tricks which really helped me:

Practice as much as possible. In your driveway. On your street. Practice in an empty parking lot. Since you have your permit, you cannot practice alone, especially if you’re on the road.

Make sure the person who is in the passenger seat while you are practicing has good driving experience. This person should make you feel safe and at ease, because you should feel calm and good when you drive. 

Take any constructive criticism. People want to see you pass, and most of the times, they’re doing it for your own good. If the person in the passenger seat (so like, a parent/guardian) starts yelling at you and makes you feel bad, and they say mean things, ignore the mean things and try your best. Prove everybody wrong. 

Actually go the speed limit. Yeah, it’s cool to live dangerously, but you can jam out and be a law abiding person (ha). It’s lame, but it’s a good habit to have. Don’t mind if the people around you are going 90 MPH on the interstate; they’ll get pulled over and get a ticket one day for speeding. 

It is scary, but practice driving on the interstate. At 9 AM. At 12 PM. Choose high traffic times, and be careful. Learn how to merge onto the interstate, and how to exit. I don’t like driving on the interstate, but you need to know how to drive with a lot of cars around you, especially if you live in an area that has bad traffic (or drivers!). 

Also, try driving at night time. Very early in the morning. As the run rises. Wear sunglasses, if needed, but don’t wear these during your exam. 

Go to different areas to drive. Rural areas with hills and curves on the roads. Small towns (I am from a small town). Suburban areas with narrow roads. Medium sized towns. Big towns, wherever. You will need to know how to drive anywhere. 

You don’t have to be a road genius when it comes to instructions. Use a GPS, and try to memorize the ways to get to certain places. And please, know your home address. 

Parallel parking. The three point turn. Practice these things too. Different states have different requirements, but most states will ask you to do one or two of these things. Practice driving your car in reverse, in a straight line. Practice driving, and then suddenly braking the car, to practice in case if there was an emergency. Also, knowing how to do a two point turn helps. 

Try to keep your car clean and in good condition. This means no dirty windows, having decent tires, and making sure that you check your oil every once in awhile, and ect. I like to keep an air freshener in mine. Trust me, having a clean car is better than a junky one. It will also make a better impression on your test evaluator whenever you go get your license. 

Your mirrors are there for a reason. Adjust them if you have to, and same goes for your seat. When you take the test, it is a good idea to definetely glance at them.

If you’re like me, and get anxiety, try putting on some music that you like while you drive. Of course, you can’t have the radio on during your real drivers exam, but it is a good thing to have whenever you are learning to drive. Have fun, but remember that you cannot always be blaring your music, especially if there are cop cars or ambulances that need to get by.  

Read. The. Book. No, I don’t mean skipping the book the day you go. I mean actually sitting down, and reading every page of the drivers manual. You can get a physical copy at most DMVs, or download one online. Make sure it’s up to date. The book has information on driving laws, and most come with the meanings of all the road signs. Which brings me to ...

The road signs, you gotta know them. All of them. OK, maybe not all of them, but the majority of them. I remember on my first attempt, they made me make a small quiz on 12 road signs (in my state, I believe you had to get at least half of them right to pass). This was AFTER I took the test for my permit. These never go away. 

Insurance! Is lame, but you need insurance. It is not “hip” to not have insurance. No, you need this. Some states will jail or fine you (or both) for not having it if you are caught.The money you or your parents or whoever that’s paying the insurance is more important than your Starbucks drink, a new phone, or some other stuff. This is something you have to pay every month, and something that could save your ass one day. Use it. You will need a paper or a card stating that you have insurance to use as a proof of insurance whenever you go get your license. 

NO BRAINER: DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE. I REPEAT, DO NOT TEXT AND DRIVE. Your Snapchat or Instagram or a text or what the fuck ever can wait until later. You can reply to those messages later, but you can’t go back and undo a car accident or fatal death. This especially goes during the exam. 

Also, PUT ON YOUR SEAT BELT. I HAVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIED BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T HAVE A SEAT BELT ON. You know how in movies, people go flying? Yeah, that is what could happen. This also goes for any passengers. 

NO DRUNK OR DRUG DRIVING. Know your laws in your state about this. And in the name of all that does not suck, call a damn Uber or your mom or friend or whoever if you get drunk or high and cannot drive. Hell, sleep over. You might get in trouble, but at least you are still alive. 

If you get stopped by the cops while you have your permit and you are doing some bad stuff, they will probably give you a ticket. This could mean you would have to wait several months or even a year to get your license. 

You must own the title of your car. The people at the DMV need to see it. Don’t have it? Great, people will think you have a stolen car. You cannot forget this!

Check out the reviews of the DMV that you plan on going to. Honestly, don’t go to one that has terrible reviews. Read the reviews (on Google or whatever), and go to whichever one is closest to you that has the best reviews (at least 3/5 or 4/5). Ask people that you know if they’ve been there before, and listen to them. 

Whenever you do go to the DMV, pick a good day. A rainy day with 30 degree weather and high winds is probably not a good day to go get your license. Check the weather ahead of time, but know how to drive in all weather conditions.

Don’t go to the DMV at 8 AM, unless you can help it. Noon is also a bad idea, because most DMVs go on a lunch break and you have to wait for another hour or two. Clear your schedule, and get out of school or work if needed. 

When you go to the DMV, wear something comfortable. If you know how to drive in heels, that is amazing. Though it is best not to show up with those. Make sure the outfit is cozy and uniquely you. If you want, you can do your hair or makeup. They will take your picture, and this picture will follow you forever, so you probably want to look good. But don’t worry, almost everybody that I know ended up having a dank ass picture on their license. I think it’s something about the lighting in most DMVs.

When you get in the car with your test examiner, they will want you to do things like put on your left turn signal, your right signal, and honk the horn. Your windows need to roll down. Sometimes, they will quiz you on every button that’s on the inside of your car, such as the hazard lights button. You can’t expect to pass your exam if you don’t how how your car works. 

Be humble. Don’t act like a dick. Be confident, but don’t be a douchebag. Mind your manners, say “please” and “thank you” and all that.The examiner wants to know how well you and drive, and what you’ve learned. They don’t need to see you bragging about how good you are. Apologize if you make mistakes. Remember: they’re human too, and had to go through the same thing you’re going through. 

Seriously, be nice to the examiner. All the times I went to do the test, I got the same person to be my examiner. He recognized me from before, and at first, he was kind of an ass, but I seriously think one of the reasons he passed me was because I stayed calm and tried to be optimistic.

Nevertheless, there are test examiners that are DICKS. Avoid these if possible (remember what I said about checking out the reviews). Again, prove them wrong. Don’t feel bad if they trick you into doing something you weren’t supposed to do. Just know that they will live a life knowing that they mercilessly tricked people into fucking up on their drivers exams. 

Want to feel better? Guess what? You will not be the worst person they’ve ever gotten. As long as you don’t crash the car, dive into a ditch, or take the examiner out of the city speed limits, you are probably not doing bad, and a lot better than most people. You are instantly better than a lot of the self-entitled assholes out there on the roads. 

Don’t worry if you don’t pass the first time. It is. Not. The. End of. The World. You will have more chances. A drivers license does not prove your worth. Hell, in some places, you can even get by without one. But honestly, you should try as much as possible.

Most states let you try the test again about 2 more times after the first time if you don't pass. I believe that after the 3rd time, you have to pay, and in other states, possibly take a driving class.

Don’t be in a rush to go back if you fail. Give it time, and practice some more. You must be in a good state of mind, and know that you are beautiful and capable of anything. You can do it. 

Those are all of the things I can think of right now, but please feel free to add more/make corrections. 

Disclaimer: I have actually passed my drivers exam and gotten my license. It took me two years and three tries to get mine. 

[solei28]

Coffee, Pie, You-Chapter 11

Ok, so I know I’ve said a couple of times this fic was coming to an end, but it turns out I’m a liar. There will definitely be another chapter after this one. Also, there’s more I want these to explore so I think I’m just gonna keep adding to it until I get sick of them!! 

You had music blasted while you worked your magic. Even though you had never cooked in this kitchen before, you moved around expertly. You had all 6 ovens on cooking various parts of the meal you had put together a few days ago.

Avengers Thank You Dinner:

Appetizers:

Zucchini Pancakes

Bacon Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers

Fresh Bruschetta with Homemade Baguette

Sides:

Honey Glazed Carrots

Mixed Seafood Salad

Sauteed Broccoli  

Main Course:

Stuffed Pork Loin

Roasted Red and Sweet Potatoes

Baked 5 Cheese Mac and Cheese

Broiled Chicken Quarters

Dessert:

Cherry Pie

Blackberry Lavender Mini Loaf Cakes

Chocolate Raspberry Mousse

Drinks:

Fresh Strawberry Lemonade

Sangria

Blackberry and Sage Infused Water

You couldn’t wait to see their reactions when everything was finally done. When you had little downtime between dishes, you wrote down each dish on index cards you found in your apartment. You would put them by each plate or tray so they knew exactly what they were going to eat.

It was a quarter to 6 when everything was finally ready. You set out the appetizers on the table and told FRIDAY to gather the team. Buchanan and Steve were the first to arrive, of course.

You were placing the enormous bowl of mixed seafood salad on the table when you heard a low whistle.

“It smells amazing, doll,” Buchanan said, eyes widening as he looked at the table.

“I hope it tastes as good as it smells,” you told him hopefully. “Since you 2 are here you can help me bring out the rest of the food.”

Steve’s eyebrows went up. “There’s more?” The table was already packed with bowls and trays of food along with a half a dozen pitchers.

“Yeah. The main course, Cap.” You walked past them. “Come on.”

“Holy shit, that’s a lot of food,” Buchanan deadpanned.

You laughed handing him a large pan of mac and cheese. “Put this on the table, sweety.” You then turned and grabbed the pan with the chicken quarters and passed it to Steve. “This as well, please.”

Buchanan came back in. “Anything else?” You handed with 2 large bowls of potatoes. He took them and turned on his heel, heading back to the dining room.

“Look at this spread,” Clint said excitedly.

You came out of the kitchen with the pork loin. “Only the best for you lot.”

“Y/N, I think you may have gone overboard,” Nat said walking in.

You tilted your head and scrunch your nose. “You think so? I was going to make lasagna and stuffed mushrooms as well.”

“Ok, that definitely would've been overboard,” Nat nodded.

“Wow, Y/N!” Sam cheered walking into the room. “This looks amazing.”

“Ok, I was going to kick you for convincing FRIDAY to ban me from the floor, but this definitely puts you back in my good graces. So, I’ll allow it this time my dear,” Tony said sauntering in with an amused smirk.

You smiled brightly. “Good thing I’m a damn fine cook. Emphasize on the fine,” you joked winking at him. You looked around. “Where’s Bruce?”

“He’ll up in a minute,” Tony said inspecting all the food on the table.

“I’m here,” Bruce said coming in. He looked at the spread and back at you with an impressed look. “You made all this yourself, Y/N?”

You smiled toothly. “Yup!” You looked around at everyone. “Alright, everyone take a seat.”

Once everyone was seated, you walked over to the empty seat Buchanan had save for you. It was between him and Steve. You looked around the table again taking in a deep breath. You were a bit nervous but you knew you wanted to say a few words. Buchanan sensed this and grabbed your hand. You smiled down at him and felt a little more confident when he smiled back.

“You guys have done so much for me over the past couple weeks without really even knowing me. I can never truly express how grateful and thankful I am to you all. This is just a small token of my appreciation and I hope to make it up to all soon.”

You felt the heat behind your eyes but held back the tears. You were sincere and you did feel like there was so much more you should do for them. These people saved your life, protected you and gave you a place to stay and didn’t ask for anything in return.

Buchanan stood up and hugged you tightly. “Doll, this is more than you needed to do to thank us. We appreciate this more than you can know.” He kissed the top of your head.

“Bucky’s right, Y/N. This is more than enough,” Steve chimed in.

There was a chorus of agreements from around the table and you felt your heart swell. “Thank you,” you whispered.

“Ok, so are we over the sentimental crap so we can eat?” Tony inquired with mock impatience. “Also, Barnes and Noble are right. This is one hell of a thank you, dear.”

You sat down smiling. “Alright, let’s eat!”

There was no time wasted as they all piled food onto their plates. Buchanan’s plate was overflowing when he was finally ready to dig in. You noticed Steve’s plate was the same, as was Sam’s. Nat had a decent amount of food on her plate, Clint’s plate was somewhere in between Nat’s and Sam’s. Bruce and Tony were pretty stacked as well.

This was the moment you were waiting for. The moment they finally started eating. Their reactions left you feeling prideful and relieved. Buchanan and Steve moaned which caused you to giggle. Sam let out a “So good,” as he shoveled more food in his mouth. Clint looked at you nodding, pointing to the food then giving you a thumbs up. Bruce smiled in appreciation while Nat nodded at you in approval.  

Tony looked at you seriously. “Y/N, are you sure you don’t want to open your own restaurant?

You let out another giggle. “Nope. I open up the kiosk again once I figure out to get a new one. I couldn’t afford insurance, so it looks like I gotta start from scratch again.” You shrugged.

Tony nodded wheels in his head turning. “Well, if you ever  change your mind, let me know.”

Once the plates were empty, (yes, these savages cleared their packed plates.), you got up and started clearing the table. Buchanan gently grabbed your wrist and tugged a bit. You got what he was trying to do and sat back down.

“We’ll clean up. You have done enough, doll.” He leaned over and pecked your lips.

“I was just trying to make room for dessert,” you said sheepishly.

Clint jumped up. “Come on! Let’s get this table cleared, people. There’s dessert.”

Sam and Steve got up to help. The rest of you stood sitting down chatting about how good the food was and other nonsense. It took them about 7 minutes to clear everything away. Clint was really adamant about having dessert.

“Ok, all clear.” He looked at you expectantly.

You got up and looked at Buchanan. “I could use your help.”

He nodded getting up. “Sure thing, sweetheart.”

You walked into the kitchen and instantly felt Buchanan put his arms around your waist, pulling you to him. You wrapped your arms around his and leaned your head back into his massive chest. He’s so warm and when he pressed his lips to your temple you melted into his embrace.

“Thank you, doll. The food was amazing,” he spoke softly in your ear.

“I’m happy you all enjoyed it.” You turned in his arms to face him, putting your arm around his neck. You looked deep into his eyes. “I’m so thankful I met you. I wouldn’t be here right now if I hadn't. I’d probably still have my kiosk and apartment, though.” You laughed at the pout he gave you. Your face grew serious. “Thank you, Buchanan.”

He leaned his face forward and captured your lips in a passionate kiss. “I’m thankful to have you in my life, Y/N,” he breathed on your lips when he pulled away.

“Hey, where’s dessert?” Clint asked walking into the kitchen. “Listen. You guys can have sexy time later. Right now, is dessert time. I need some sweets.”

You shook your head. “Alright. Calm down, guy.” You walked over to where the pies, cakes, and mousse were. “Here, you can help. Takes the pies.” You handed Clint the 2 cherry pies you made.

Buchanan came over and picked up the 2 trays of the blackberry lavender mini loaf cakes. “These look interesting, doll. What are they?”

You told him what they were while you followed him out of the kitchen with the chocolate raspberry mousse. You were greeted by eager faces. Looks like Clint wasn’t the only one waiting.

“Enjoy, guys,” you said sitting down after placing the mousse down on the table.

Much like with the food, no time was wasted grabbing dessert. You were praised for how delicious everything was from full mouths around the table. When everyone was finally stuffed, Sam, Clint, and Steve offered to clean up.

You and Buchanan bid them goodnight and made your way to the elevator. You were holding hands waiting for the lift to get there. He looked down at you, concern in his eyes. He bit his lip and you watched him have a conversation in his head.

“What’s wrong, sweety?” you finally asked him.

He opened his mouth but was interrupted when the doors opened. After stepping on, did he speak. “I wanted to ask you something. I just don’t want to upset you, though.”

You gently stroked his cheek. “You could never upset me, Buchanan. You can ask me anything, anytime. OK?”

He nodded taking your hand in his and planting a kiss on the back of it. “How would you feel if I told you Steve and I decided to have a funeral service for Sandra?” He studied your face waiting for your response.

He wanted to talk to you about it earlier, but you kicked him out, so he didn’t get a chance. When Steve had approached him about it, he felt like it was the right thing to do. Now, however, he was having doubts. He needed to know how you felt about it. She did try to kill you after all. And, nearly succeeded.

A small smile tugged at your lips. You could see how much it bothered him and that he valued your opinion. “I think that’s great. We should honor the person she was before HYDRA got their hands on her. When will it be held?”

Buchanan let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Really?” The look of relief on his face made your heart flutter. “It’ll be this Friday at St. Raymonds. It starts at 10.”

“OK. I’ll be ready.”

The elevator doors opened and the 2 of you stepped out. Buchanan was smiling at you as made your way to your apartment. Not only did you think it was a good idea, but you also wanted to go. How did he end up with such a beautiful, kind hearted, understanding woman like you?

You opened the door and felt a tug as you tried to walk in. You looked back him with furrowed eyebrows.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

He was still smiling at you. “Nothing. You’re just amazing. That’s all.” He pulled you into a kiss.

You looked into his eyes when he broke away and rested his forehead on yours. “You’re nothing short of amazing yourself, Sergeant. Now, come on. The Animaniacs are starting soon.”

Y/N and Buchanan sitting on the couch watching the Animaniacs: Buchanan watching Y/N more than the show. Y/N: Why do you keep looking at me like that? Buchanan with a lopsided smile: Just tryin' to figure out how I ended up with a great dame like you. Y/N raising her eyebrows: Did you just call me a bitch? Buchanan startled: What!? NO!! Y/N laughing hysterically: Your face is great right now. Buchanan shaking his head confused: Why would you even say that? Y/N: Great dame. Great Dane. Very easy to mishear and confuse. Buchanan rolling his eyes: You're the worst. Y/N giggling: I thought I was a great dame? Buchanan shaking his head and pulling Y/N onto his lap: Yes, you are while simultaneously being the worst. Y/N grabbing his face: Yeah, sounds like me. Make out session.

Hey, do you enjoy my content and want to help me continue to create more? Consider buying me a coffee. It will help a ton!!!

@babygurl8840 @booktease21

[allthings-fantasy]

Matching Marks (Chapter 10)

Author: @allthings-fantasy

Pairing: soulmate!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2700

Warnings: Language, shower smut

Chapter 9  MASTERLIST

The blinding light that assaulted your senses had you stumbling back against the door of the church. Dean’s grip on your shoulder tightened as he tried to shield your body from the gateway to Hell opening in the center of the floor. A high pitched screech filled the room, busting the glass of the windows along with your eardrums. Everyone’s hands covered their ears, cowering from the sound. Your senses were flooded, blinded, deaf, numb. Then everything went black.

The other side of the bright light wasn’t your personal entrance into the golden gates of Heaven. Instead, you were sandwiched between Sam and Dean in the middle of a plane. Slowly the three of you lowered your arms, taking in your surroundings. “Are you guys alright?” Dean was addressing the two of you, but his eyes never left yours. 

One of his hands shifted to cup your cheek before gently sliding down until his fingers gripped yours, trying to personally look for any injuries on you. All you could muster was a nod, turning around to look at the younger Winchester. “Sam?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but the sound of the PA ding cut him off. The pilot’s voice spilling from the speakers. “Folks, quick word from the flight deck. We are just passing Ilchester and will begin our initial descent into Baltimore.”

Sam’s brows furrowed as he glanced around in the interior of the plane. “Wait, Ilchester? Weren’t we just there?”

Whatever hit the plane had everyone tossed in their seats. The impact had the emergency lights turned on, oxygen masks dropping from the ceiling. Your fingers scrambled to get the mask around your nose, frantically looking between the two brothers. Dean had one hand squeezing your leg, the other holding his mask to his face. Out of everything you went through, were you really going to die from a plane crash?

---------------

Apparently not. How the plane survived the descent back to the ground was beyond you. But here the three of you were, Dean driving the Rent a Car center beside the airport. Sure, it was a nice car, but you missed your own and the impala. The car ride was filled with an awkward silence. All having opinions but none able to find the right words.

Sam was the first to speak up. “Guys… lo-”

“Don’t.” He wasn’t able to get more than a word out before his older brother cut him off. “Don’t say anything. It’s okay.”

Now Dean seemed like the crazy one. “I’m sorry but is it, though? Is it really okay?” You shifted further forward in your seat, glancing between the two of them.

Dean sighed and shook his head, knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. “No, it isn’t. But, we just need to keep our heads down and hash this thing out, okay?”

You liked Sam, you really did. But releasing actual Hell on Earth was hard to turn a blind eye towards, apparently not for Dean. Got to love brotherly love. “Well, wake me up if you guys figure out how to kill the actual freakin’ devil.” A huff escaped your lips before leaning your back against the plush upholstery, keeping your arms crossed over your chest.

“So what do we do first?” Sam waited until your breathing turned heavy until he spoke again. He wasn’t a fan of getting the cold shoulder from you.

Dean’s shoulders shrugged, “We need to find Cas.”

----------------

Dean’s POV

“No, you listen to me, boy! Do you think you can rebel against us? Just like Lucifer did?” Zachariah chuckled, a sick smirk coming across his face. Chuck huddled further behind Sam the closer Zach got. The news about Cas being dead was still spinning around my head. I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with his angel bullshit. “If you do not cooperate, I will make sure you never see your little girlfriend ever again. You think you can keep her safe? Think you can keep the devil from reaching her? I’ve told you before she’s important, don’t think I’ll spare her just to make you feel better.”

The cut on my palm stung as my hand curled into a fist, blood trickling down onto the floor. “I sure am glad I remembered this little insurance policy incase you dick bags showed up.” The confusion on Zachariah’s face was almost picture perfect. My hand gripped the door handle, jerking it until the warding became visible. With the touch of my palm, the angels in front of us vanished into thin air.

Chuck inwardly groaned as he looked between the Winchesters, “This sucks ass.”

----------------

Reader’s POV

The sound of car doors slamming awoke you from the best nap of your life. Blinking your eyes open, you came face to face with the back of a car seat. A groan escaped your lips as you pushed yourself upwards, taking in the scene around you. “Where are we?” You coughed, clearing your throat from the grogginess.

“Well, well, well, sleeping beauty awakes.” Dean smirks and turns in his seat to look at you, a playful smile teasing at his lips. “I’m guessing your slept good, you gotta little…” He scratched the corner of his mouth.

Your cheeks turned a furious red when you realized what he was getting at. The base of your hand scrubbed against the left side of your mouth, cringing when you felt a little bit of dried drool. “But to answer your question, we are just leaving Chuck’s house. About to grab a motel until Bobby can get here.”

“Sounds good.” You nodded and ran your fingers through your wild locks. A sideways glance was casted in Sam’s direction, you couldn’t tell if it bugged or satisfied you that he wouldn’t acknowledge you. You might have been a little harsh earlier, but in your defense, you weren’t the one who just let Lucifer walk on Earth.

-------------------

The motel Dean picked was a little over two hours out of town. You honestly didn’t care where you ended up, as long as it had hot working shower you were satisfied. Dean handed each of you a key card before shoving his own into the slot on the door. The light flashed green as he pushed the door open. It wasn’t the worst place you stayed in, but it wasn’t the Hilton either.

Dinghy green wallpaper lined every square inch of the tiny room. You were met with two queen beds, a small kitchenette was settled in the back corner, and a bathroom. Dean tossed his bag on top of the kitchen table, unzipping it to rummage through the contents. Sam awkwardly shifted his weight, looking between the two of you then down at his feet. “Are you gonna get settled in or just stand in the doorway?”

Both brothers turned their attention towards you, Dean giving you a warning glance and Sam looking uncomfortable. “I, uh, was actually just going to go get some ice and the rest of the things out of the car.” He gave you a thin lipped smile and headed back out the door, shutting it behind him.

A deep groan escaped your throat as your flopped down on the creaky mattress. You heard Dean sigh from the other side of the room, his heavy footsteps following. With your eyes closed, you felt his knees nudged against the sides of your feet, opening your legs enough for him. The mattress dipped under the weight of his hands as he leaned over you.

You let out a soft sigh as he kissed the top of your right thigh. “You shouldn’t be so hard on Sam....” The only response you could give was a hum. Dean took his time pecking his way up to your hip bones, letting his teeth nip at the tiny strip of skin showing. “I know you’re mad… I am too, but we can’t change it now.”

“Dean…” You mewled, arching your back slightly as his hands cupped your ribs. The tips of his thumbs running against the underwire of your bra.

His nose nudged the hem of your shirt upwards, exposing more flesh the further he moved. “Yeah, sweetheart?”

A tiny laugh escaped you. “We’re in the beginning of the apocalypse and you’re trying to get into my pants.” Your fingers lifted from the scratchy comforter to run through his hair, tugging slightly.

Dean rumbled, “Mhm… that a problem?” He glanced up at you from under his thick lashes, the green in his eyes seemed darker than usual.

Your head shook from side to side, smiling wide. “I was just thinking that a shower would be really good right now.” Your cheeks blushed crimson, letting your fingers travel down to his shoulders, tracing the neckline of his black tee.

A glint sparkled in his eyes as he suddenly sat up. “Well, let’s go then.” In one swift motion, Dean had you in his arms. Your legs and arms wrapped around him, clinging as his hands landed under the curvature of your ass.

You tossed your head back in a fit of giggles as he carried you across the room and into the reasonably sized bathroom. Dean sat you down on the edge of the sink, giving you another peck before peeling away from your body. You took the opportunity to catch your breath as Dean turned the water on. When he turned back towards you, his eyes raked over your body, a smirk twitching onto his lips.

Dean’s fingers skirted across the hem of your shirt, giving you a questioning glance before pulling the fabric from your torso. His tongue swiped across his bottom lip and your shirt was forgotten about. Your skin ignited at the touch of his hands sliding across the newly exposed skin. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do this,” he rumbled.

A whimper pushed from your chest as your fingers gripped at his shirt, desperate for skin on skin. Dean only pulled away for a moment to yank his t-shirt off. Dean Winchester was going to be the death of you, but at least you’d die satisfied.

Your lips clashed back together, fingers frantically trying to get each others jeans off. When the two of you were finally stripped of everything, you both froze. One of Dean’s hands lifted, cupping your face before dipping his head, pressing his lips to yours. Everything melted against Dean, becoming completely putty in the palm of his hands.

With cautious steps he backed the you into the shower. The hot steam surrounded and clung to your skin, making the air thicker than it already was. Your spine was pressed against the tile, trapped between him and the wall. Your head fell back as his mouth attacked your neck. He left out a satisfied hum when his erection nudged between your legs. His hand quickly followed, letting his fingers find their way through your folds. A moan got caught in your throat as two thick fingers thrusted inside of you.

“So fucking warm…” Dean groaned as his hand moved faster against you, obscene sounds filling your ears. The palm of his hand rubbing against your clit had your hips bucking against him.

You were a writhing, moaning mess. “Dean… please,” you whimpered, looping one of your legs around his hip, pulling him harder against your center.

He licked the side of your neck, nibbling against the sensitive spot below your left ear. “Please what, sweetheart?” Dean growled and rutted against you, wedging his thick length between your slick bodies.

“Want you inside me,” you moaned. Dean growled and slammed his lips back against your swollen ones. He nudged his hips further between your legs, his hand leaving your core to grip himself. The tip of his cock ran across your slit, the head bumping into your clit with each pass.

Dean locked eyes with you, his eyes turning dark as lust took over. With a twist of his hips, Dean guided himself inside of you, stretching your walls. The two of you stopped, chests heaving, foreheads touching. You felt so full, it was too much. He had to move. “Dean,” you whispered, linking your hands around the back of his neck, pulling his lips back to yours. “I need you to move…”

He groaned deep within his chest before snapping his hips forward. A scream caught in your throat as he thrusted you harder against the wall. You were never going to last, every thrust had him pressing against your cervix, leaving your legs a wobbling mess. Dean must’ve sensed your unsteadiness. Both of his hands grabbed at your ass and lifted you off the floor. Your legs wrapped around his waist, the new angle allowing him to hit that bundle of nerves settled deep inside of you.

You knew Dean was close, his breaths turned ragged, thrusts began to falter. His fingers dug into the flesh of your ass, without a doubt leaving bruises in their wake. One last snap of his hips had Dean cumming inside of you, pushing you into your own release.

The two of you slumped against each other for a few moment. Dean’s forehead rested against your shoulder, leaving lazy kisses against your collarbone. When he finally pulled back to look at you, he pecked your nose, making you smile. “You think you can stand yet?”

A small laugh cut through the thick air in the shower and you nodded, slowly unhooking your legs from his hips. You groaned when your feet hit the floor, feeling emptier than ever. Your arms stayed around his neck, not ready to give up this much skin to skin contact. Dean’s hands rested on your hips and let his thumbs run across your abused skin. “Let’s get cleaned up before we run outta hot water.”

----------------------

The next fifteen minutes were spent by Dean running a thin motel washcloth against your skin, being cautious as he cleaned between your legs. When the two of you were finally ready to get out of the shower, the water had begun to turn cold and your fingertips looked like raisins.

You both moved around each other in sync, as if you’d been doing this for years and it was merely a habit. With a towel wrapped around your torso, you wiped off the mirror before drying off your hair. You smiled as Dean met your eyes in the mirror as he moved to stand behind you, tightening the towel around his waist.

His arms wrapped around you, tugging your back against his chest, letting his chin rest on the top of your head. Your nose scrunched slightly, looking up at him. “My hair is gonna get you wet again.”

He simply smiled, shrugging his shoulders and kissing the top of your head. Dean’s head dropped, allowing his forehead to rest against you now. He didn’t speak, just ever so slightly rocked the both of you back and forth. “Dean?”

“Hmm?”

“You okay?” Your voice wasn’t more than a murmur and his arms tightened around you. For a moment, your ribs protested the squeeze but he looked too peaceful to tell him to ease up.

You could feel him draw in a deep breath behind you, glancing at him in the mirror again you noticed his eyes were closed. At first, you thought you imagined it. He said it so softly, had he really just said that?

“What?”

Dean’s fingers rubbed against your tattoo situated on your ribs. This time his voice was more confident. “I love you, Y/N.”

The two of you were a tangle of limbs again. Towels were struggling to cling to your bodies as words of love were whispered back and forth. Dean’s hand found the knob of the bathroom door and twisted it. The two of you emerged in a cloud of steam, desperate lips clinging to each other, only to be interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

You jumped apart from Dean, trying to keep your towel covering your modesty. Spinning around, the two of you came face to face with Bobby. He sat at the table with his arms crossed and a pinched expression on his features. “If the two of you are done goin’ at it like a bunch of rabbits, we got work to do.”  

TAGS: @zealous-whispers-of-us  @iamabeautifulperson18  @clarinette07  @divadinag  @danabuggxd  @justanotherteen12  @literallyhelpme  @lobveemo25  @toodeeptowake  @im-here-sometimes  @morgannope  @yesfictionalboysarebetter

[afangirlwashere]

Prove it (Irondad fanfiction)

(gif is not mine)

Summary: Peter might be able to take a lot but too much is too much and one day on a trip he just snaps.

A/N: So this is a little Christmas surprise I guess. This fic is a part of the  Captain Handsome's Holiday Gift Exchange! I don’t think I got a lot to say I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a good time! This is the song you can play while reading this piece! There are no ships it’s just some dad!Tony.

Warnings: just swearing and Flash being an ass

MASTERLIST

„Dude I can’t believe you didn’t bring your ID card!“ Ned screeches at Peter when the security guard gives out temporary visitors ID cards. 

„You mean his fake-ass ID card?” Flash's comment makes a bunch of kids laugh. 

Peter just huffs in annoyance that Ned even said something. He’s been fearing today for the past month. There are so many ways his identity could be revealed today. Sleeping was impossible last night since about a thousand nerve-racking scenarios kept on repeating in his head. 

Of course he was getting shit from the other students - mostly Flash though.  He didn’t dare to say anything back because the only possible thing that could come out of his mouth was “I’m Spider-Man so shut the hell up.” 

“Welcome to The Stark Industries! We’re going to start the tour in the first factory where we make the suit improvements and please guys no taking pictures in there so all your phones and other electronics need to be left in the metal box that we put in front of the doors. Do you have any questions before we go there?” a well put together middle-aged lady jotted down something on a tablet and looked at the crowd of kids again.

A short girl - Peter barely knew her from Spanish class but she was one of the nice ones - raised her hand high.  The woman nodded her way encouraging her to speak.

“Are we going to meet Ms. Potts?” she squeals in excitement.

“Or any of the Avengers? Iron Man?!” someone from the back shouts.

“Unfortunately no. Ms. Potts is on a business trip at this moment and Mr. Stark is a very busy man. The other superheroes have a lot of their own missions and things to do.” the lady explains as politely as possible.

‘Yeah sure.’ Peter thinks to himself, ‘Because screaming at Mr. Wilson for 30 minutes about eating chips on the couch counts as being a very busy man.’

“I have a question!” Flash lazily raises his hand.

‘Oh god...’

“Does a guy named Peter Parker have an internship here at The Stark Industries? Or more specifically, an internship where he helps Mr. Stark personally?” 

The lady looks a little lost for a second before she answers “No, we do not take high school students for internships anymore and when it comes to Mr. Stark I don’t think he ever had anyone for an internship to help him. I’ve never heard that name and I’ve been here for a few years now.” 

Flash’s smug grows even wider as he turns his head to Peter “Knew it.” 

‘I’m Spider-Man so shut the hell up. I’m Spider-Man so shut the hell up. I’m Spider-Man so-’

“Alright then! If there are no other questions we can move on to the tour. Please follow me.” 

They start walking to the factory door. Peter has been in there about a million times trying out new suits, webs, and weapons so the visit wasn’t as exciting for him as for Ned and the others. 

“Do you think they’re gonna have the batons that Black Widow uses? Oh! Or The Iron Man Gauntlet?!” Ned carelessly throws his phone in the metal box as an employee checks his ID card. 

“Not sure Ned...” Peter shrugs. 

“Do you think there will be any Spider-Man suits?” his friend elbows him while they pass through the door. 

“Dude! No! No Spider-Man talk here! One bad move and they figure it out and I’m-” 

“Figure out what? That you’re not actually friends with Spider-Man like you told us? Trust me... We figured that out a while ago.” seems like Flash isn’t going to let it go. 

He’s like a tick. Once he sucks onto you it’s hard to get him off. 

Peter turns to the annoying schoolmate but before he manages to get out a response he notices a familiar figure walking their way with a phone put to their ear. 

“Happy! Happy it’s me! Hey! It’s me Peter!” he waves his hand vigorously.

The moment the head of the security notices the loud young boy trying to get his attention he turns on his heel and walks away as fast as he can while shouting something into the phone.

“Hey! Okay! Fine! I’ll see you later! Bye!” Peter still shouts after him while standing on his tip-toes. 

Flash watches him with wide eyes “Wow you’re really going for it Parker. You wanna be a professional liar in the future?” 

‘I’m Spider-Man so shut the hell-’  

“I’m not lying! I swear!” 

“Then prove it.” 

It might have been because he didn’t sleep all night that Flash was getting on his nerves so much today but Peter probably got the worst best idea how to shut him up for good. 

“Fine! When we get out of this factory to go to the next one we all stay in the middle of the crowd and on my sign you need to swoop to the left corridor and hide around the corner.”  

“Why?” Ned asks bluntly while they leave Flash behind.

“You’ll see.” Peter takes out a phone and starts furiously typing something.

“We were supposed to leave our phones outside!” Ned covers Peter as much as he can so that he won’t get in trouble.

“Don’t worry. It doesn’t have a camera see?” he turns the phone around “It’s filled with a lot of cool Sp-extra...stuff.” Peter stops himself from mentioning anything Spidey related. 

After a few more minutes the lady announces they will be moving to another location.

“I swear if we get caught Penis Parker I’ll run you over with my car.” 

Don’t say it... Don’t say it... Say something else! Anything!

“Well, Flash I have health insurance!” he quickly catches up to Ned.

When the time comes all three of them try to unnoticeably stumble to the left and once they are out of the crowd they start running to hide around the corner just like Peter told them to. 

They wait a minute until all the chatter passes 

Peter takes a glimpse into the hallway. 

“What do we do now?” Flash sounds more nervous than ever.

“Follow me.” Peter rushes to the hallway and takes a few turns to other corridors.

The two boys barely know where they are at this point but after another minute they end up in front of a long staircase that seems to go on and on and on. 

“Stairs?” Flash asks. 

“This is the part you won’t like.” Peter takes the first staircase by two stairs at a time “We have to walk all the way up on our feet.” 

Ned and Flash exchange looks and just for this one moment they both silently agree that they hate Peter. 

Peter has to pretend to be struggling throughout the long walk but it’s actually not that hard. 

They made a bigger break when they hit the halfway. 

While Flash was too busy almost coughing out his lungs (since he tried to keep up with Peter who was going slow on them) Ned was lying on the ground and trying to calm down his beating heart. And then he noticed something on the ceilings. 

“Pe-Peter.” he whispered still breathing heavily “L-look.” 

Peter looked the way Ned’s finger pointed and he saw a camera that was installed in the corner. 

“We...We’re screwed...” 

“I got it covered.” Peter assures his friend. 

“How?!” Ned sits up and blinks a few times because of all the red spots that form in front of him. 

“You don’t have to worry I got it.” he shrugs “I have a cool app on my phone that I got from Miss Romanoff. To my surprise, it was able to get through Mr. Starks security which came handy. I knew there were cameras here Ned. I wouldn’t bring you here if I wasn’t 100% sure these were off when we walk all those stairs.” 

“How did it get through-you know what? I’m too dizzy for this.” Ned gives up and just sinks back to the ground for a few more minutes.

After some more stairs and a few more stops, they finally get to the floor where the Avengers spend their free time training, working and socializing. 

Peter wraps his hand around the knob of the glass door and it takes his fingertips recognizing it’s him. The doors open and the three boys slip inside very well knowing they have no right to be here right now.

“So now what?” Flash barks.

“We’ll have to be very quick. Follow me.” Peter starts sneaking around. 

He was able to deactivate the cameras on the staircase but definitely not here. 

Before they even start walking they hear a loud thud and out of nowhere a manly figure drops from the ventilation shaft. 

Peter recognizes Clint Barton in seconds and stands frozen in place.

Clint looks at the group of boys with a very confused expression. Of course he recognized Peter but he didn’t have a clue what the younging was doing here right now. 

“You guys seen Natasha?” he asks after the fearful silence.

Ned shakes his head and stares at the superhero in front of him. 

Clint looks behind them and nods “Alright. If you see her you don’t know where I am and if someone asks me I have no clue you’re here capish?” 

Ned and Flash nod their heads, terrified, that they got caught meanwhile Peter still stands paralyzed. 

“Good.” Clint looks around again then runs around the corner and finally disappears.

A few seconds pass.

“Dude! That was HAWKEYE!” Ned starts freaking out. 

Flash stands there with his mouth open in pure shock. 

Peter blinks a few times and takes a deep breath. He went through a lot of scary stuff but this might have been the scariest of it all. 

“Okay, we gotta move. Come on.” Peter’s legs feel like jelly for a bit but after he takes a few steps it gets better. 

They are very careful each step they take. 

But failure is inevitable. 

Just one more turn and they would have been right where Peter wanted them to be but they had to run into someone in the hallway.

And this time it wasn’t Clint.  It was way worse.

Ned’s trembly voice whispers “Do we run?” he asks.

“No.” Peter exhales “It would be pointless. He’d catch us in a minute.” 

“What are you boys doing here? I’m pretty sure civilians are not allowed here.” a clear solid voice speaks up.

“Mr. Rogers I-” Peter tries to explain the situation.

“You know what? Save it, son.” Steve raises his hand “I’m not the one you’ll have to explain this to.” he nods his head for them to start walking “And don’t try to run away he was right. It would be pointless.” he warns the kids.

Ned whispers toward Peter “Dude, Captain America just called you son!” 

“I know Ned I’m freaking out too.” Peter had to try and calm his heart rate a bit.

He might have hung out with Steve Rogers a few times but this was still very new to him. And he was a huge fanboy.

“I swear you’re fucking dead Parker.” Flash grunts when Steve knocks on huge doors from dark wood. 

The doors open after a few seconds and they all walk in.  It’s a big boardroom with the perfect view on New York. 

“You guys wait here I’ll be right back.” 

The door closes again practically sealing their fate and the boys exchange terrified looks. 

“It’s all your fucking fault Penis Parker!” Flash finally bursts out “I knew this was going to end badly and I swear if I get in trouble for it I’ll make the rest of your life a living hell!” 

Peter doesn’t listen to Flash because he’s already worried sick how he’s going to explain this. 

A few minutes of Flash aggressively shouting pass and the door finally opens to reveal Steve Rogers and Tony Stark.

Both Ned and Flash swallow loudly and stand straight as rulers.  Peter just looks down in shame.

“You two,” Tony Stark points at Flash and Ned “out. Captain Rogers will escort you back to your class. And please tell the teacher that Peter Parker isn’t going to be joining you back any time soon. I have to chat with my... assistant here.” 

“Mr. Stark I-” Peter tries again.

“Ababa!” Tony raises his hand “Save it kid. You two,” he points at the two schoolmates again “Skidaddle.”.

Both of them head out of the room. 

“Oh!” Tony turns around and looks at the boys standing next to Cap “And next time before you start insulting and bullying someone I’d check if there aren’t any cameras around to catch you doing it Eugene Thompson.” his voice hardens.

Flash stares at Tony wide-eyed “I...I-” before he can finish his sentence the doors close.

Tony turns to Peter squinting his eyes at him “How did your brain actually manage to come up with something so unbelievably stupid?” 

“I am so sorry Mr. Stark it’s just... He wouldn’t stop messing with me about the internship. They all think it’s not real and I know I shouldn’t care and most of the time I just ignore them but I just couldn’t today... I was terrified of this trip and then when he was mocking me I-” Peter rants and Tony sees that he starts breathing very fast.

“It’s alright Pete.” he puts his hand on his shoulder “Nothing bad happened nobody got hurt. You just probably had to walk a lot of stairs I can imagine.” Tony pulls a chair for Peter to sit on “How were you planning to prove that your internship was real?” he asks out of curiosity.

“I wanted to show them the lab.” Peter notices how red with anger Tony goes after he says that “But just for a minute! I know there is a lot of dangerous stuff there, I know! But I would just show them the suits behind the glass and that I know the code to the room and then we’d just leave I swear Mr.Stark!” 

A few dreadful seconds for Peter pass.

“Look. I understand. Steve told me what he heard the guy say to you and he tactically brought you in the boardroom instead of my office so that he could really see what was going on.” Tony explains “We both know you’re a good kid and that you wouldn’t do this to hurt anyone but we needed to find a reason why we shouldn’t take your ID and forbid you from ever going here again.” 

Peter ruffles his hair feeling the guilt wash over him again.

“The next time someone bullies you like that I want you to tell your aunt, the teacher or me. I’ll deal with it.” he pats his shoulder “I know it’s not that easy but it’s always a bit easier when you can face it with the help of others... But you’re still an idiot Peter. Don’t ever do this again. And as punishment, you have to go and tell Natasha where Clint is.” Tony gets up from his chair.

“What?” Peter asks confused.

“I’m not dumb I checked all the cameras. I saw Clint just letting you wander around here. Your punishment will be that you will betray your pact with Clint and Clint’s punishment will be the wrath of Natasha and trust me... There is nothing worse in the world.” Tony’s body shakes while he thinks of some kind of past experience with the assassin “You can be happy I’m not making a big deal out of this.” 

Peter was so scared that Tony might take his ID card or his suit again but seeing so much understanding from an adult like him was refreshing.

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.” he quickly wraps his hands around him in a tight hug. 

Tony stands frozen for a bit, surprised at the sudden affection.

He slowly wraps his hands around Peter too “You’re welcome kid.” 

[mx-bebe31-blog]

Criminal!Kihyun

Criminal!Kihyun AU

Laundering Money (more serious than you think in this au lmao)

Warnings? Badass Protag against Too Cocky Kihyun

Ft. Jooheon!!

Kihyun barely looks like the kind of person who would introduce himself as a mattress company owner

But he does,,,

He thinks it’s less suspicious if he first tells someone he owns his own chain of businesses across the ocean

But on his business card it says in matte lettering

Restonic Mattress Company - CFO, Yoo Kihyun

And no, that’s not a typo on the card

Kihyun likes to play his cards right,,, and while he knows being CEO is impressive to anyone,,,

CFO gives him the luxurious life he lives every day

Chief. Financial. Officer.

Kihyun is entrusted with the most important part of any business

Cold hard cash

He tracks cash flow, does the financial planning, and analyzes the company’s strengths and weaknesses when it comes to corrective actions

But while Restonic may be their company name, there is a much darker surface that Kihyun’s fingertips touch

It certainly is a registered business and qualified company, but Kihyun knows that he doesn’t need customers in his stores to make the money he does

The money he receives every two weeks is dirty, and he knows this

It’s laundered.

He takes the vast amounts of money he makes from drug trafficking and sex selling - and he turns it into legitimate money that no one can question him about

He can spend it how he wants without banks or law enforcement questioning him

And even if Wall Street didn’t already take dirty money, he can still invest in stock

He feels like he’s a winner every day

He wakes up in silk sheets and smirks at himself in the mirror knowing he can beat the system

That is,,, until you come running along

You’re not stupid and you’re not just a crazy conspirator

You know that Restonic isn’t exactly the most popular mattress place

You’ve never even seen one in person, yet when you look up where there are Restonic’s near you, a dozen results pop up in the range of 40 miles

You think that’s strange because there should be maybe two within 40 miles of each store

There’s not that much of a demand for mattresses - especially with the internet now

I mean,,, who goes to buy a mattress anymore? Unless you really really need one,, one mattress will last one person at least a better half of ten years if not that much

So you think something’s up

But you don’t know what you can exactly do about it either,,,

Especially when you’ve done a little digging on the CEO, COO, and,,, the CFO

You can’t lie, you really haven’t heard of a CFO before, but seeing the profile picture of someone named Yoo Kihyun made you want to get answers

He looked smug,,, with that little position title underneath his picture on the company’s website

With a few website hacks, public records and case files underneath your nose, you scrutinized it all

And no mattress firm can make five grand a month - not every single damn one of them!

You knew the conspiracies, you knew about money laundering

And Restonic was doing exactly that

You bite your lip and do a little more digging on the company’s website

It’s looking for job applications at their headquarters

The position is in the office, openings on the 4th, 7th, and 8th floor

The company has ten floors, and you’re determined to nab the job that’s closest to that CEO floor

You have your friend Jooheon make you a stellar job application that will pass their critiques

Employer’s phone numbers wired to buildings Jooheon’s affiliates operated to cover for you

Extensive research to get your head in the game of what you need to know

Jooheon personally training you on the type of computer work you need to have down pat. Also hacks to make really nice reports and sales charts that would help along the line

You don’t know why you care that much - maybe it’s because you’re an aspiring journalist

And normally you don’t want to do stories that would ruin people’s image or company

But when Jooheon does research on the CFO of that damned place, it just makes your blood boil

“Look at this, he must take a vacation at least every two weeks”

“He makes so much money he has three villas on the oceanside, an English country house, another three beach houses, two condos, and a big ass classic ranch house that’s in, of course, Colorado.”

“(Y/n), you know there’s a reason people put companies overseas it makes it easier for tax evasion. So even if he is laundering money, he can still get away with a lot! What a snake!”

You sit in another computer chair next to Jooheon most nights while you wait for your application to be processed.

You don’t personally have a permanent residence in South Korea, but Jooheon does,,,

So after taking multiple nights to talk about it, Jooheon agrees to lend you his apartment there if you get the job

Until he can make it over there himself,, he still has business to finish up here before he can go back

And you,,, surprisingly get an email just two days later

It’s from an associate, obviously, but there’s the CEO’s signature at the bottom just to make things look professional

You have a web interview on Tuesday, and if they decide you’re good for the job, they will personally fly you out Friday for free if you have a place to stay and can pay for that place and the price of living yourself

You aren’t the best at interviews but being prepped and supported by Jooheon helps

You make it through it with three people on the other side of the screen

With your fake work experience and great answers, they ask you if you want to work for them

You say yes, and bow your head in thanks

On Friday, Jooheon takes you to the airport, smiling a cheesy smile

“You gotta bust him, (Y/n). Don’t worry, I’ll walk you through it all, ok? Call me when you get there, and you can always call me or text me whenever you’re feeling lonely or anxious or,,, if you just miss me that much”

You want to grab his tongue when he sticks it out at you with jest

“Ok dad, my flights calling.” You joke back and he pouts as he hands you your carry on

“Dad-zoned? Really?”

“I’ll call you. Thanks...Jooheon. I promise we’ll get this business shut down and we can watch Yoo Kihyun choke on his lawsuits.”

You have the tightest hug in your life before you leave

There are a lot of steps that involve you getting close to Kihyun’s secret

But right now is when the story really starts to get interesting

You have been working here for six months, Jooheon got back to Korea right smack dab in the middle of that time

You have an earpiece in today, with Jooheon on the other end

You’re scared, but you also are so ready for this to be over

You somehow have steady nerves as you watch Kihyun walk out of your floor into the elevator going down

Conveniently, you have reports that you were told to leave on his desk that day before his 2 o’clock meeting

Well, you were actually supposed to leave them to his own secretary on the 9th floor, but you and Jooheon made sure she wouldn’t come into work that day

Nothing bad! Just made a few phone calls and moved up her dental appointment to a time that would leave you leeway to Kihyun’s office

And, not to brag, but it worked

So you quietly stand from your own tiny cubicle, professionally walking to the stairwell

You’d rather not bump into anyone on the elevator questioning your existence if you were going up into the high-rank territory

“Jooheon? I’m heading up now.” You initiate a conversation for what’s about to go down in the next exact twelve minutes it should take you to recover those fraud files

“Ok. Just keep cool. You have his secretary’s spare key to his office, right?”

You did, and you couldn’t help but side eye the powerful people you passed as you casually walked towards Kihyun’s personal office

You read his golden name palate before inserting the key and turning it, walking into an office that smelt like stacked paper, printer ink, and a subtle hint of what must be Kihyun’s cologne

You first set the reports you did into a plastic hanging container by the door to make it look like you weren’t snooping if he ever did question you

“Look on the second bottom drawer of the filing cabinet by his bookcase”

You first quietly shut the door and locked it before hurrying over to the said filing cabinet

Jooheon was looking along with you in a camera put into fake glasses

“Locked.” You mutter before going over to Kihyun’s personal desk. You open drawers and try multiple keys before growing frustrated

“Just take your pin” Jooheon finally resorts to, and he instructs you painfully slow as you desperately try to pick the lock

Well, you got lucky

Thick files and folders filled with papers upon papers fill your view as there are vague tabs that state what they were

“There! Fraud Files”

It was so stupidly blatant, but you take it. You open the heavy folder before scanning the first few pages. You confirm this is what you’re looking for

You show the whole folder into your empty laptop bag before checking other folders

“Take his dumb insurance policies, too. The jerk even has his assets info in there. Take it, (Y/n). Everything you can fit.”

You smile as you do. You take the most crucial information first, and when your laptop bag is heavy and full, you stand and jam the lock shut again.

You smirk as you purposely break your pin in the lock, making sure he won’t find out these were gone until it was too late

You unlock the door and wait just a second before opening the door

Your heart jumps as you spot Kihyun walking down the hall with the COO

You play it cool and bow with a smile. Kihyun gives you a questioning glace as he doesn’t recognize you

“Sorry, sir, your secretary called in today, but I gave my reports. I just put them in the cubby here.” You meekly point before bowing and heading on your way, not wanting to seem suspicious

“Hold on.” Your blood feels like it’s painfully frozen as he lightly grasps your arm. You turn with your best new hire face

“Yes, sir?”

“Do you know if the Third Quarter Assets were in those reports?” He asks with a stoic expression

You bend your shoulders inwards in a small shrug, “I’m not sure, I don’t have access to those kinds of numbers.”

He nods before turning back to the COO, leading him inside his office as he shuts the door

It takes everything in you not to run towards the elevator and out of this place forever

“Shit that was close. Damn it Jooheon, what if we took longer than that?” You panic as you make your way down the stairs, toting a very heavy laptop bag in high heels

“Well it scared me, too! Just get your shit and get home we have a flight tomorrow morning.”

You smile, “This feels like I’m a spy. Like we’re spies.” You giggle as you open the door to your floor and make your way towards your desk with a smile

You quietly pack your things, shutting down your computer before taking your purse

You walk out of those company doors, and you know you’ve won

Jooheon and you look over the thousands of fraud files that stick together

You report them to the police and hand it over

You give your statement, and your report

You tell them that you will be heading back home

And you leave the country

But who said you had to give the police every single report out of thousands?

You keep a few for yourself and Jooheon

And you guys win

It’s a plus that you’ve gained a few thousand dollars

...More than that,,,

You’ve gained a villa on the oceanside

And 200,000 dollars in paid for assets

You smirk as it doesn’t take long for Kihyun’s name to go into the gutter

You’re holding tea in front of packed up boxes as you watch from your t.v as Kihyun is put in jail for holding - no bond available, as he is a flight risk

You keep updated as his homes go up for sale and are bought by millionairs and rich kids

And when he finally does go to prison for a multitude of financial crimes,,,

You’re breathing in salty wind and sandy air on the porch of your new villa with Jooheon

_______________

Lowkey loved how this turned into a subtle Jooheon x Reader

Hope you enjoyed lovelies!! <3

-S

[pharmacyfollies]

-So this has been making the rounds in the Pharmacy world. Technically, it really does *not* take 2 hours to fill a prescription. Especially for Tamiflu. You grab the box off of the shelf and slap a label on it. HOWEVER, there are other things going on in a pharmacy that can lead up to a 2 hour wait. Like to hear it? Here it goes....

10. Your doctor sent over the script via the E-Script system. Other doctors also love to utilize the E-Script system so that means at any given time, your E-Scribed script is one out of many that needs to be typed in at the moment depending on how busy it is. The same applies for faxed in or left on voice mail scripts.

9. You're standing in line to drop off a prescription. If you're unlucky, you're in a line 10 deep and it took you 15 minutes just to reach the counter. If you're lucky, there isn't a line because you came before/after the lunch/dinner rush.

8. This is the time of year where Corporate LOVES to cut hours. At *my* pharmacy, that means there's only 1 Pharmacist and 2 Pharmacy Tech's working most of the time. Because only the Pharmacist can take care of drug interactions, final review on scripts, patient consultations, give vaccinations and check blood pressure that means we let her/him handle the important stuff and the Tech's take on the rest of the work load. So there's only 2 people to take in prescriptions, type prescriptions, handle insurance issues, answer phones, fill prescriptions, put away prescriptions, sell prescriptions at the counter and the drive-thru, delete 10 day old prescriptions and walk out of the pharmacy to show someone where the Mucinex is because they just can't find it in aisle 11, towards the end of the aisle, on the 2nd shelf from the top, in the blue and white box.

7. On a busy day, we can fill 500 prescriptions. We're open 14 hours during the week. 14 hours to fill 500 prescriptions. If it's a slow day or the weekend, it's about 350 scripts. On the weekend, we're open 8 hours. 8 hours to fill 350 scripts. That's between 35 to 44 scripts filled in an hour. Remember, only the Pharmacist can do final review and verify a prescription. Most pharmacies have 1 Pharmacist working at a time. That means my Pharmacist is taking about 2 minutes to make sure each and every prescription she/he verifies is correct and does not interact with anything else you're taking so it does not kill you. *2* minutes. Let me repeat that: *2* minutes.

6. Oh dear, my replenishment order just came in. I have 11 large totes of drugs that need to be put away. Hopefully, we'll get that put away before 1pm because that's the time we tell people to come back when we were out of stock on their medication and had to order it for the next day.

5. Grandpa Hank is on the phone. He wants to know if we can set up delivery for today because it's too cold for him to come out to the pharmacy. He called at 11:45am. Gotta get his script ready and get online to our courier service by 12 because that's the cut off for same day delivery.

4. Jane is dropping off prescriptions for her 4 sick children. Unfortunately, Medicaid has enrolled her family under a managed care program, she claims she wasn't made aware of that and has no current insurance information. We have limited capabilities for looking up insurance information and unfortunately for Jane, nothing is coming up. Being that the children have respiratory infections, it's important that they get their medication today so that means spending an ungodly amount of time on the phone with Medicaid to find out who her new insurance carrier is.

3. Bob is dropping off a script but has no idea which of his 5 insurance cards is the current one. Time to play musical insurance cards.

2. Jim is dropping off a prescription for Oxycontin 30mg. Now, Jim has never filled prescriptions with us so we have to register him. Jim lives no where near our pharmacy and the doctor's office is located 2 hours away from us. He's more than willing to pay cash for 240 tablets. Time to verify that prescription with the doctor. Well, I'll be a monkey's bitch! It's a fake. You don't say?! Dr. wants the patient arrested. We call the police and the fun really begins when they come rolling in 5 deep, want to speak to everyone involved with the situation and all that jazz that's involved when they bust someone with fake scripts for C-11 narcotics.

1. Where the hell is my Pharmacist? In the rest room leading the Browns to the Superbowl. She's been holding it in since 8 am and finally got a chance to do so after spending 20 minutes on hold waiting for the doctor only to confirm that the dose he wrote for Heparin would've resulted in an overdose on an infant, spending 15 minutes explaining to a patient that Motrin does not work better than Advil because they're both Ibuprofen, reviewing and verifying 175 prescriptions, counseling patients and giving 15 vaccinations.

In short, you(collective you) are NOT the only patient. Everything that goes into filling a prescription and the distractions that take you away from filling prescriptions is what causes a long wait. Unfortunately, Corporate cares more about making shareholders happy than ensuring patient safety and properly staffing their pharmacies. Until that changes, it will take as long as necessary to fill a prescription regardless if it takes 15 minutes or 3 hours. If it was as simple as slapping a label on a box, Pharmacists wouldn't be spending 4-6 years in college and getting over $50,000 in student loan debt just for that simplicity and the FDA would just make such medication readily available over the counter. We're dealing with peoples lives and a mistake can harm or kill someone, which can result in the pharmacy staff losing their licenses and their jobs, so we're more concerned about getting the script filled right as opposed to getting the script filled right *now*.

[jaerie]

I finally decided to make a masterpost of all my posted fics even for just my own organization.  So here we go!  updated September 14th, 2019

Sisterwives (E, 33k, abo)

This was it, the moment Louis had been waiting for his entire life. Giddy excitement bubbled up as he held hands and stared up at his soon-to-be alpha and husband and grinned. The ceremony was small and simple, but Louis didn’t mind. Fresh flowers pinned into his hair and a brand new outfit was all he needed to feel special in front of their few witnesses. It was just some members of his family and a few of the church elders in attendance as was customary for any marriage beyond the first wife within the faith.

First wives were the ones to have elaborate weddings with the whole community involved. An alpha’s first wedding was a celebration of an their coming of age, his first steps into fulfilling God’s prophecy. There were many glories for an omega that came with being a first wife but also many responsibilities. Louis had never aspired to be a first wife or even a second. He wasn’t experienced enough to be the leader of an alpha’s many wives and children and he didn’t think he’d be up to the task.

Louis was just fine in the position he was stepping into as the seventh.

Or Louis thinks he's getting everything he's ever dreamed of. Harry helps him find what makes him truly happy.

Captain Jack (E, 32k, abo)

Louis has been searching for something and Harry is there to give it to him. Drugs, sex, disappointment, and the tangled web they’ve woven that keeps them trapped in the same cycle.

The Wilds (E, 13k, abo)

The creatures that Louis observed every day weren't exactly human, but yet they were. Researchers had plucked some of them from their secluded island and transplanted them into an enclosure against their will like a bunch of zoo animals. Louis didn't think they were. But he was only paid to do the yardwork, he didn't have any say about the wilds that lived there. That was until an unfortunate accident changed his life forever and made one wild in particular his top priority.

Restless Lane (E, 15k, abo)

Louis had grown used to his boring life back in Mississippi as a stand-in father figure to his siblings. He never expected his childhood friend to show up on his lawn with the heat of summer or that he would remind Louis how much of himself he'd tucked away and neglected. He also never expected to find himself caught up in a tangled web of feelings or secrets that just might break him. Maybe he had never known Harry at all.

Going Live (E, 15k) 

Harry has only done this cam thing a handful of times when another camboy pops in to view his stream and unintentionally stirs things up a bit.

Or Louis and Harry are both camboys for some extra cash and meet each other in an unconventional way

Alpha Seeking Alpha (E, 4k, abo)

Maybe it's taboo, but Louis can't stop thinking about a strong alpha holding him down and filling him with a knot. Louis may be alpha himself yet there's a corner of the internet where he can get what he wants. He finally has the courage to do it.

Knot Safe For Work (E, 6k, abo)

The world is magical, Louis is a wizard, Harry is a Were, there are spells for lube and supernatural kinks are definitely a thing.

Everything I need I get from you (M, 10k, abo)

In a world where music and sound are just as vital to health as food, Harry is stuck in a town that thinks professional music is a scam and a relationship he never wanted. One chance event changes his life.

Ready, Baby? (E, 1k)

Harry gets an earring. Louis is the one to do it.

Or a pain kink drabble.

Challenging Nature: A Look Into Male Lactation (E, 11k)

Even taking into account all the bizarre things Harry has subjected himself to in the past for the sake of an article, Harry has received his strangest assignment yet. It comes up as a random misunderstanding in a meeting and builds into a conversation — can men breastfeed? Internet searches reveal documented cases of male lactation popping up at different times throughout history, but are any of them true? Can a man will himself into lactating? Harry has two months to make it happen.

Tiny Exaggeration (E, 4k, abo)

Louis is frustrated that they've been dating for months and still haven't taken their relationship to the next level. Sometimes the foolishness of the past lingers in the present. Louis wants that to change.

Enough Tin Foil for the Apocalypse (G, 1k)

Louis comes home to a tin foil covered house and his boyfriend's secrets

100ft Away (E, 2.5k)

Harry opens Grindr for a hookup and ends up with more than he bargained for. It all works out in the end.

The Time Is Now (M, 1k)

Louis is mid-one night stand when he finds out he's going to be an uncle in a matter of minutes.

A Long Way From The Top (E, 11k)

Harry needed to find a purpose in life. Mount Everest wasn't the place he'd expected to find it, but he'd take what he could get. He also hadn't expected to come home with extra baggage.

Freaks From The Internet (E, 3k)

Harry sells his breast milk to freaks on the internet. Louis turns out to be one of those freaks. He also happens to be Harry's ex.

Whoops (E, 1k)

Louis was just trying to get revenge on Niall for the prank he pulled a few months ago. He didn't mean to find himself trapped in the closet while Niall's roommate, Harry, decides it's a self-love kind of night.

Merry Birthday (10k, abo)

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson have unfortunate soulmarks branded onto their skin. The first words their soulmate will ever speak to them are two of the most common greetings, so common that they don't even notice when it finally happens for real.

A Christmas soulmate AU.

You Gotta Swim, Swim For Your Life

Swim When It Hurts - Part One (M, 12k, abo)

Harry never thought he would find himself battling cancer. Louis never thought he would find himself so attached to one of his patients.

Swim When It Hurts - Part Two (E, 6k, abo)

Harry never thought he would find himself battling cancer. Louis never thought he would find himself so attached to one of his patients. Neither one of them thought they would find love in such an unlikely place.

Swim When It Hurts - Part Three (E, 7k, abo)

Harry never thought he would find himself battling cancer. Louis never thought he would find himself so attached to one of his patients. Neither one of them thought they would find love in such an unlikely place. Maybe things weren't ideal, but finding strength in a new kind of normal together may be just what they need.

The Post-War BP (E, 18k, abo)

The eight year war has left the country's birthrate severely stunted with a lack of virile alphas left to bring it back up. To ensure the survival of the country, the government opens The Breeding Program where young omegas can apply to carry an alpha's child in exchange for benefits. Louis' family is struggling and the BP is one of the only ways to secure a roof over their heads. Harry was drafted at the age of eighteen and spent six years of his life defending a country he doesn't recognize when he returns home. The government made the bed but it's Harry that has to lie in it.

I’m Sure It Happens To All Alphas (E, 4k, abo)

“It’s okay. I’m sure it happens to all alphas at some point,” the omega beside him said which only embarrassed him even more.

The thing was that this was not how Louis expected their first time together to play out. Especially after he’d been fantasizing about it for so long.

But let’s jump back to the beginning.

or Louis has trouble popping a knot

To Change How You See And What You Believe (E, 12k)

Harry and Louis are best friends who just happen to fall into bed with each other sometimes, it's not a big deal. After a drunken night of discussing their kinks, they wake up naked together. They don't remember what happened, but they've done it before and they'll probably do it again, but five months later, a surprise changes everything.

or an I didn't know I was pregnant au

Was It All Fake? (E, 4k, abo)

Unmated omegas are second class citizens. Expected to provide for themselves yet paid so little that they often are overworked or forced to sell their bodies just to keep from starving. Louis' luck turns around when he meets Harry, the rich heir to a fortune. After their bonding ceremony, things aren't exactly what Louis expected.

Take What’s Mine (E, 15k, abo)

Years after he is kidnapped, his life altered forever, Louis goes through the motions in a way that barely feels like living. Harry is a wild card, a forbidden fruit that Louis swore off of before he even had a chance to experience it. Maybe, in the end, Harry holds the key to being reborn. Louis just has to be open to the idea first.

Cuddle Up A Little Closer (4k)

Harry's therapist suggests that he should get a pet. Liam might have found the perfect one for him.

Stay Close, Hold Steady (E, 27k, abo)

Found on the banks of the Mississippi as an toddler, Harry goes on a quest to find his biological family. Louis tries to be supportive, but maybe he just doesn't want to be left behind.

Everything Comes Back To You (10k, abo)

Louis was only seven when he found himself in a hospital bed alone and scared, confused about what was happening. When another little boy climbed into his bed to comfort him, Louis never thought that they would be meeting again later in life. He also never imagined that their roles would be reversed the second time around.

Just Jump (E, 10k, abo)

Finally, after years of suffering alone, the insurance plan at Harry's new job covered omega heat services. As a grown omega adult, it finally felt like the right time to try it out. And, since taking an entire week of heat leave would really put him behind at work, using a service to shorten it seemed like a responsible decision. At least that’s how he rationalized it. He was nervous about his decision but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

“Hi!” The alpha said again and Harry took the hand he offered and shook it firmly. “I’m Louis from Omega Services. It’s nice to meet you.”

Where Do We Go Now (E, 10k, abo)

Louis goes off to college ready to start a fresh life away from the oppressive alphas of his pack. The odds aren't in his favour when his new dorm mate turns out to be an alpha. Louis hates alphas.

OmegaVision (E, 24k, abo)

Tomlin Networks Presents: OmegaVision starring Louis Tomlinson! The world's first 24/7 reality channel available in over 150 countries worldwide following the life of the first male omega born in over a century. Follow Louis through his daily routine, the ups and downs of growing up or just leave him on for comfort. There are many reasons to tune in but, no matter what yours may be, there's always a part of Louis that is just like you!

Or a Truman Show au that nobody asked for where Louis is Truman and Harry just wants to be his mate

As We Were, As We Are (E, 51.5k)

Alex is a British soldier who has been injured in battle, Louis is a RAF pilot with amnesia. Somehow they put each other back together even if they get separated along the way.

Woke Up Feeling Knotty (E, 8k, abo)

Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof. When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them. Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.

Saving’s What I Need (M, 17k)

We’ve all had those moments. A flash of something on the side of the road, a swerve, an instinctual slam on the break pedal. This is the story of the one time Louis’ reflexes were just not quite quick enough and the beautiful white dog that was on the other side of the impact. He just doesn’t know that beautiful dog is Harry.

Save Some Luck For Me (E, 10.5k, abo)

Louis arrives at the 2018 Winter Olympics to make history as the first omega to win a gold medal at the games. Harry, his oiled up crush from the Summer Olympics, just happens to show up to sabotage him, but maybe helps him win in the end.

Closest It’ll Get (E, 13k, 50 Reasons Fic Challenge)

Reason #41: Because He Looks LIke Your Super Hot Cousin and This is the Closest It'll Ever Get to Being Okay

Faking former relationships, mistaken identities and the moral struggle over his first real crush lead to an interesting destination wedding for Harry.

Cute for a Girl? (E, 3.5k, Cocktoberfest)

Harry recently had a sexual awakening with another student on campus. She attends a poetry reading and finds herself reliving the experience through Lou's words.

Driving Me Crazy, But I’m Into It Series

Pink Skin (E, 4k) “Yes well, do you have an appointment-available-for-anal-bleaching,” he rushed the last part out, the words blending together in a nervous string. Louis paused for a moment before bursting into laughter that made tears collect at the corner of his eyes.“Is this a joke?” he asked through his laughter, “Did Niall put you up to this?” He was nearly doubled over on the couch, that certainly was original.“Um…” his laughter cut off abruptly when the voice on the other end seemed serious. “Isn’t this Adeeva spa…?”“Oh god, no, I’m sorry for laughing. I think you have the wrong number mate.”

Or Harry is a camboy trying out something new and Louis ends up on the other end of the line

I’m Kinda Into It (E, 4.4k) Harry smirked and moved off the bed, never breaking eye contact, making sure the other knew exactly what he was about to do. His finger tapped the spacebar of his computer to bring it to life then reached up to switch his camera on with a small click.“Are you into it?” Harry asked, the corner of his mouth stuck up in a grin, dimple deep and genuine though very playful. Louis seemed to be in a small stupor and stared back with darkening eyes before swallowing hard.“I’m definitely into it,” Louis nodded.

Or things take an unexpected turn when Harry meets up with wrong number admirer for the first time

I’m Gonna Pay for This (M, 3k) Naked sunbathing has not turned out so well for Harry.

1st of the Month (E, 2.5k) Harry and Louis enjoy some morning sex before some highly anticipated mail.

Let’s Try That Again (E, 2.7k) The delivery finally arrives and Harry can't help but have a little fun with it. Louis is pretty cranky about Harry's antics until he isn't.

All Over Me (E, 2.4k) Louis is falling for Harry more each day, even all the quirks that make him special.

Christmas is Canceled (G, 2.7k) It is the first time Louis will be cohosting Harry's annual Christmas party with him and everything needs to be perfect. Everything doesn't go perfectly.

Cold As Ice (E, 2.3k) It is the first hot day of summer and Harry is dying. So of course the most logical solution is to head for the dildo in the freezer.

Bored (E, 2k) Harry is bored and decides to put on an unscheduled cam show. Louis never misses a show.

Hoping to Find the Respect I Deserve (G, 3k)

Harry has starry eyes for the professional world after uni and takes an unpaid internship in a foreign country thinking he'll be on top in no time. It doesn't quite work out that way.

Out of the Wild (E, 21.5k, abo)

Louis has spent most of his life as a wolf in the wild, Harry has spent most of his life as a human in the city. Their worlds collide during the audition process for the hottest new singing competition. What happens next should have expected.

Out With The Old, In With The New (E, 7k, abo)

Harry becomes the pack's new alpha and Louis can't wait to be bred

But She Doesn’t Know Who I Am (9k, Part 1 of 2)

“Stop following me!” she growled out firmly, squaring her shoulders and pulling herself up to her full height plus the added inches of her heels that made it feel like she was towering above him.

And… that wasn’t the voice of a woman.

His jaw dropped in shock but he couldn’t tell if his face physically matched that expression or if it was a mental jaw drop. He hoped the latter but knew at least his eyes had grown wide. It wasn’t what he had been expecting.

Prompt #807: The discomfort of walking on a deserted street at night behind a woman who probably thinks you're stalking her.

Maybe I’ll Try Falling Up (E, 6k, Part 2 of 2)

“It’s just… I thought…” he stumbled nervously, “I figured it would be me, you know… that I’d be the one doing you.”

“You thought I’m a bottom because I dress like a girl,” she deadpanned, schooling her expression into a mask of indifference.

Miscommunications can happen with anyone but sometimes it's just a sensitive subject.

Fur Up In Flames (G, 5k)

There's not really much you can do during a job interview when the only thing you can focus on is whether or not you remembered to turn off the stove...

My Sins I’ll Claim, I’m Not Immune to Shame (M, 5.6k)

It's been two years since their break up and Harry still hasn't been able to completely move past the day that things ended between them. When he gets a chance at a big fat "I told you so", his reaction isn't exactly what he expects. He finds himself hard from some inappropriate thoughts and, well, sometimes even the best of us succumb to the darkest emotions.

Day 2: Slow and Steady (E, 5.7k, 30 Days of Smut)

Harry wants everything to be perfect, a scene from a romcom for just the two of them. It doesn't quite go according to plan, but he can't say he's disappointed.

And the Truth Shall Set You Free (Maybe...) (E, 18k, abo)

Betism: A religion based on the belief that the beta gender has been chosen by God to protect and defend the purity and dignity of the human race by resisting and condemning the lustful ways and flawed biology of the alpha and omega

Harry is a Betist and Louis is an alpha who runs with a bad crowd. This is what happens when two worlds collide.

Come Fly With Me (M, 9.6k)

Louis and Harry are university students that meet in an airport while trying visit home during a school break. Their first flight goes as planned but their connection leaves them time for some unexpected adventures.

They Won’t Let Me Out (I’m Locked Up) (E,15k, abo, WIP, to be finished early 2018)

Harry is the alpha heir to a prosperous pack who has just presented as he approaches the age of 18. Coveting their resources and desperately seeking to merge their packs together, rivals kidnap Harry and force him into a life of chastity that would prevent him from ever mating and inheriting the pack he was born to lead. As they lose hope they reluctantly begin the process searching for a mate for Harry's older omega sister, the only way to keep the pack in the Styles' bloodline. What happens when a hot headed little alpha-to-be stumbles upon Harry's little secret and ends up sharing one of his own?

Tell Me That You Want It Cause I Already Know (E, 3.8k, abo)

Who knew all it would take was some good ole porn for Louis to discover his friend, Harry, is a wolf and for it to awaken an urge that would bring them together in a way he hadn't anticipated.

Just Bend and We Can Learn To Love Again (M, 28.5k)

Louis is a single dad of twins just trying to get through each day one step at a time. Harry has his own struggles as a young dad. Maybe Louis' curiosity and nosiness has found just the friend that he needs in his life. Maybe they both just need each other.

Starbucks Lovers (M, 2.5k)

He pushes the Starbucks door open hard, the momentum slamming it into the trash station on the other side. All eyes are on him as he raises his voice, pulling the phone away from his ear. “ARE THERE ANY GAYS IN THIS STARBUCKS??” his chest moving heavily than normal with frustration.

He looks around, suddenly realizing the scene he has caused in his regular coffee shop, all eyes still on him. A few beats pass and most of the customers turn their attention back to what they had been doing before the interruption.

His shoulders begin to slump as out of the corner of his eye he sees a timid hand start to raise above his head. It might just be the fact that he's sitting by the window, bright sunlight shining through the tinted glass, but his hair seems to shine like a halo, a beacon drawing him in.

Not From The Cookie Cutter (M, 31k, WIP)

For the last 5 years Louis has been keeping himself alive. Deemed an untouchable by society when he was only 14, he had to watch the path he always thought his life would follow be erased before him. Existing in the shadows of the nice part of town, the picture perfect lives he watches every day are the closest thing he will ever have to a normal life.

Coddled by his mother, Harry is a dreamer. As hard as he tries to bring himself back to the ground on his father's command, he just doesn't think he has the will power.

Or Louis is a homeless omega and Harry is an abnormally observant alpha.

Are You Open Minded? (M, 1.5k)

College AU where Louis is dared to make a phone call and Harry takes the bait.

I Wish You Were Here With Me (G, 2.5k)

After Louis' sudden death, the boys unanimously decide they can't and don't want to continue One Direction without him. With the ghost of Louis following his every move, Harry tries to push forward though he knows he will never been the same.

Shrink Wrapped Jeans (M, 2k)

Louis gets a new pair of jeggings and it drives Harry wild.

Impossible Secret (G, 1.8k)

Harry and Louis find themselves apart during the first break the band has truly had. Making the best of it, they keep their temporarily long distance relationship as strong as they can while Harry holds back a secret he can barely hold back.

So that’s all folks!  I’ll add as I write more things :) 

[mercyxkilling]

i sent my mother money via facebook messenger ($40 one transaction, $20 for another) and for some reason the transactions are still pending despite every time i’ve used it it’s always been instantaneous. mom’s FB pay is set up to my grandmother’s account since she’s an authorized user i guess. i’m sure that has something to do with it. but because they thought it was instant my mother immediately spent the money on gas (to come bring me things i needed when i was down and out after my ER visit) and a few groceries... and since it was all pending the account is now overdrawn and i don’t know how to fix it other than by sending a message to FB pay help. my grandmother is on a fixed income and is therefore really terrified and bawling her eyes out because she’s so upset and i don’t know what to do. tomorrow i’m going to my bank to see if there’s something i can do on my end to fix things, and if i can’t i’m gonna see if i can’t cancel the transactions, withdraw the money, and just bring it to my family when i can make that hour drive if it comes to it. i offered to give my grandmother the rest of the money i get from the commissions i have going on at work when i get it, but my mother’s response was: ‘nope. it’s dementia. it’s part of the deal.’

what a fucked response, bruh.

i’d like to think money troubles are universally troubling. and if my grandmother really does have dementia like my mom says she does then why aren’t the steps being taken to do anything about it, rather than just hearing everyone complain about it and tell me how annoying/frustrating it is? like... yeah. i know it is. i know it is. there’s no way that--if grandma does have dementia--that it wouldn’t grate on you if you live with her 24/7. but don’t diminish her feelings like that, especially if that isn’t the actual diagnosis from a doctor (unless it is and no one’s told me about it yet because they’ve kept news about our matriarch’s health from me before since they thought i couldn’t handle it).

i sent an email to support, but i’m also going to my bank tomorrow to see what the status of those pending payments are. if i can cancel them, withdraw the money, and make the drive out to my family and hand them the funds then i’ll just do that if it isn’t an easy fix. i refuse to let that woman cry and worry if i can fix it on my end. i didn’t want to just cancel the payments outright because i still wanted to have the proof for them to have in case they needed to show anyone or to try and fight this, but my mother then said: “just cancel them, get the money, and bring it here. i’m tired of hearing about this.” and naturally, this rubbed me the wrong way because that’s... really insensitive. and if it were just my mother we were talking about i’d let her figure it out on her own considering all the shitty things she’s done to me involving money (like opening credit cards in my name, taking my insurance check for my totaled car and buying herself a new one just to leave me behind with her ex boyfriend while taking everything in the house except for me during finals week in college, or forging my name on my student refund check and using the money for whatever she wanted, etc.) but it’s not just my mother we’re talking about here. so i’m gonna see what i can do to fix this and help out however i can, or even if i can.

so my mood went further south after a shitty day at work, and i’m so sorry for that. i’m trying to work on being more positive and to move past this. i’m just a little icky right now, so do forgive me if i’m distant or seem to have lost my energy or enthusiasm. i’ll bounce back. i’m just taking a little time to process this. my best friend tells me to let the adults sort this out because it isn’t my problem, but... it’s my grandmother. i gotta do something.

[thisislizheather]

January Jewels 2021

Wonderful, a new month! Even I’m not sure when I’m being sarcastic anymore. You know what I realized this month? This is technically year three of Covid-19 since it started in late 2019. Should I have kept that information to myself? Probably. I’m sorry. In any case, time moves on and we’re in a new month, so here’s what went down last month.

Before I begin, every January I make sure to:

Mark down all important holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (also Daylight Saving Times, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving) on my calendar

Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance/vet vaccinations and write down any important renewal dates

I recapped how my 2020 resolutions turned out. Spoiler alert: it’s not impressive.

I made my 2021 resolutions because I’m determined to live optimistically.

Here are some of my favourite photos from 2020.

I really want to make these A-Z foods that I’ve never made before throughout the year. Kind of really excited about this.

I’ve officially become obsessed with making end-of-the-year videos.

The new 2021 birthday gifts at Sephora have been announced! (Speaking of Sephora, have you seen the price point for Jennifer Lopez’s new line of products? Hahahahah, just wild.)

I read and reviewed Alek Trebek’s memoir, which was really good.

I made this carbonara from Bon Appetite and it BLEW! It was the first recipe that I made this year so I. was. PISSED.

I couldn’t find a Detroit style pizza place near my parent’s house (grow up, Mississauga) so I had no other choice but to get takeout from Descendant in Toronto and it was incredible.

Above Photo: The 8 x 10 “no name” from Descendant Pizza, Toronto

I listened to Taylor Swift’s evermore and the favourites are: champagne problems, tolerate it, and evermore.

I’ve been using my parent’s air fryer and, surprise surprise, it’s amazing. Obviously it makes everything taste great, but the best part is that it’s so much faster than a regular oven. The best thing I’ve made so far was definitely these pickles.

These are the greatest frozen french fries in Canada. Eat them. I promise. They’re lightly coated, but still thin and crispy.

I’d never even heard of The Devil’s Own which seems insane because two of the hottest nineties men are in it. Good movie? Not so much. I’d watch it again on mute though maybe.

If you’d like to momentarily be transported back to your childhood on Saturday mornings, get your ass over here for a second.

Speaking of the past, do you remember Heritage Minutes in Canada? God, some of them were really, really good. My favourite ones were the Laura Secord one, the Superman one, the Winnie one, and definitely the Marconi one.

I bought another bodysuit from Aritzia, but I mean look at this one. It’s heavenly. I can’t wait to wear it for Baby Dog on my way to the kitchen.

And I mean since I was already on the site, I also bought this honey/beige-coloured headband and matching mittens. I officially look adorable.

Still in love with the Dennis Gross peels, I just wish they weren’t so unreasonably priced.

I made this BA pasta with mushrooms and it was waaay too salty, what the hell is going on with me fucking up recipes these days?!

I tried this frozen vegan pizza and it was actually not terrible! Like, not as terrible tasting as regular frozen pizza.

Remember Grand & Toy (it was near Walter’s Music in Square One in the 90s)? I have to make a mental note to start using them instead of Staples. I loved that store for school supplies when I was a kid. Gotta support.

I’ve been watching the new Jeopardy! episodes with Ken Jennings and the first one was terrible in my opinion mainly because it just felt so wrong, but as I’ve kept watching I think it’s becoming less weird. I am excited to see the other guest hosts just to see how different they’ll each be.

I tried this drugstore John Frieda sea spray and it was complete crap. I may have overused it, but that’s really not my fault. Why in the hell don’t hair product labels tell you how many pumps you should use?! I swear to god, if only I were running things…

I made popovers for the first time and they were surprisingly easy! I might never buy a dinner roll ever again.

Above Photo: popovers!

I love the softness of these Indigo pajamas so much that I bought them twice (in both red & blue).

I heard the old Frank Sinatra song That’s Life on the radio the other day and got so teary, maybe ‘cause I haven’t heard it in years? Maybe ‘cause it’s just a perfect song? Am I slowly just losing it? While it was playing, I just kept saying to myself “That IS life!” Yeah, might have lost it.

I watched the newest season of Big Mouth and loved it. The anxiety mosquito might be the best new character introduced in the middle of a series OF ALL TIME. Such a great show.

I started watching Superstore (mostly in the background) and it’s pretty good! I’ve only seen a few episodes, but I definitely get the appeal.

I made these ganache-stuffed chocolate chip cookies and they were just lovely. Love a ganache, love that word.

Also made these salted tahini butter chocolate chip cookies (quite good!) because I’m going through a light depression, evidently.

My friend Dusty got his film Violation into Sundance and it’s wild that I know such immensely talented people. So, so proud of him.

I made blintzes with a Grand Marnier mascarpone (the blintz recipe is, of course, from Chef John and the mascarpone recipe is from one of Stanley Tucci’s cookbooks). It was delicious. It seems so intimidating to make crepes, but it was actually so easy and fun. Plus it looks like it’d be such a complicated thing to make, but I’d say it’s even easier than baking cookies.

Above Photo: Blintz with Grand Marnier mascarpone & wild blueberries in a cranberry coulis

I tried to read Ijeoma Oluo’s newest book Mediocre and I just couldn’t get into it. Even I was surprised because I love her work, so maybe I’ll give this one another try at a later date.

I had a real craving for a good bagel and since I’m not near Brooklyn Bagel in Astoria at the moment, I looked up the best place in this area for a bagel and went to the Old Bagel House on Lakeshore. And look, I respect what they’re doing, but they don’t hold a candle to New York bagels. Hard pass.

I’ve been using this tea tree night lotion from The Body Shop for years now, it really calms down your face before bed. Their entire tea tree collection is hard to beat.

I bought this jewelry stand and jewelry box both from Simons and they’re so divine.

Loving this makeup brush cleaner (especially the mini size for traveling). Expensive brush cleaners make zero sense to me.

I tried the Snoop Dogg wine and it was wine! (There’s not a spelling error or word missing there, it really was just wine.)

I made Creamy Cod & Potato Gratin and it was delicious, god I love tarragon.

Above Photo: Creamy Cod & Potato Gratin

I recently started eating frozen Canadian wild blueberries and they taste so blueberry. It’s madness. They’re so tiny and full of flavour, I couldn’t believe it. I’m so used to the blandness of blueberries from literally everywhere else. NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THESE!

I also tried sumo citrus oranges and yes they were good, but nowhere NEAR as good as cara cara oranges.

Right now, Scaddabush has a pretty sweet family deal of a lasagna, salad & focaccia for $40 and it easily feeds four people, with leftovers.

Best tweets of the month can be found over here.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I will continue to watch and love all upcoming new Riverdale episodes (thank you season five for bringing this song back into my life), I might make these french onion stuffed shells because they sound insane, I’m excited to watch Stanley Tucci’s CNN cooking show Searching For Italy, I might fall into the world of focaccia bread art, I’d love to attempt ANY of these hairstyles, and I’m so excited to hear when the final season of Shrill will finally air.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in December over here.