#i guess in general it is people in positions of privilege

[klavierpanda]

I'm so done with people. I don't understand how neurotypicals can behave the way they do and think their actions shouldn't affect other people and then get mad when they do /nbh

[kalims]

— MALLEUS DRACONIA | red

or, malleus forgets to tell you that his grandmother is coming (only remembering the day she does) and you immediately have an inner crisis.

wc. 792 words

note. hey guys, I guess thats it

"my grandmother—" he paused. "she is visiting today,"

you promptly choke on the tea like you would with one of lilia's homemade 'fruit shake' that he'd mistaken salt for sugar, and apparently added eggs for more flavor. midst your heaping coughing session—with familiar care malleus' face scrunches up in concern. he places a hand over your spine, like it's honestly gonna relieve the sting in your throat.

as patient as ever he waits calmly till you've finished losing your voice. "are you all right, beastie?" he asks.

beastie. you didn't know exactly when he'd started calling you that. you supposed it had already happened before you fully realized it on your own. strangely enough it oddly feels more affectionate compared to his old 'child of man' though you do admit it was better with 'my'.

well the old one did hold some sentimental value. you never did let go of his tsunotaro nickname, no matter how much sebek yelled, and bemoaned over.

malleus didn't mind. he liked it as well.

your face shifts into a deadpan, rubbing your poor throat. at the very least he could have told you that after you'd finished gulping down that damned water! "given how I almost died—no." you answer curtly, voice wavering several times. to be met with a confused stare.

"but you are alive and well," he expresses the obvious. politely leaving his arms hanging by his sides uselessly. as much as he'd like to keep his hands on you he supposes he'd be stepping over boundaries and possibly making you uncomfortable. and malleus would hate it if it turned out like that.

"oh malleus, dear. you don't get it,"

the new endearment term causes warmth to bloom in his chest, his lips twitch to a small smile and he fights the urge to just cradle you in the palm of his hand—cherish you, and hide you away from everyone else.

because malleus believes no one would love you like he ever does.

"what do you mean? get what?"

"nothing,"

"how would I get nothing? It must be something,"

if you did answer his statement you know it would just keep going, into malleus not understanding once again. but you suppose it's what makes him lovable, despite the contrast of what you are thinking (his large frame, and his refined features you could spend a decade staring at) he's like a child with an innocence that not a lot of people have.

he is very genuine.

you should stop thinking about it lest you fall deeper.

"nevermind that. your grandmother? hello?" you flail your arms around. hitting malleus once but he doesn't even flinch.

"hello. it seems like I forgot to tell you."

ignoring the greeting in the beginning that probably responded to your hello that wasn't even meant to be one. you huff. seriously? it seems my ass,, it would've been nice, great even! if he told you days prior to her arrival. and not like.. hours before she does.

never did you expect to be introduced to someone's family member. based off the countless books you stuck your nose in, in general it's very,,, intimate? to be fair it's a very big step and you can't say you're ready for it.

what if she doesn't like you? you're literally this,,, human that doesn't have any strong titles or anything. just plain, boring and ordinary. you're only granted the privilege to be this close with malleus since you're only really the first person to show him kindness besides the people that grew up with him.

if it were someone else, would they be standing in your position right now? would they be the one being introduced into a slimmer of his personal life?

so you've heard. she is a very popular person, strong but kind. rough around the edges but she was a leader that briar valley needed. sebek often boasted about her. definitely not in the same tone that he uses with malleus but respect from sebek might as well be winning 1st place in a competition with thousands of other participants.

you aren't even scraping the surface of how hard it is to get it.

probably sensing your inner turmoil, and seeing the troubled look on your face malleus subconsciously leans in. to provide comfort, to become a shoulder you'd lean in without the royalty-commoner thing separating you two.

the look in his eyes softens. "what's wrong?" he asks you sincerely.

yeah what is wrong? it's not like you're in any place to care about her opinion anyways.. not at all.. you think stubbornly, sweatdropping at the amount of thoughts screeching about first impressions.

if you meet her then at the very least—you don't want her to hate you. because hating you means relaying the flaws she saw to malleus, then swaying him that you weren't worth it, then next thing you know you lost him.

I am totally calm. you think, not hearing his words.

malleus opens his mouth. closing it, opening it then repeat for a goon ten seconds. it's rare to see him pondering about what to say.

"you look like a fish." you say.

he wonders how you could be so calm when you looked close to walking out a second ago.

"that's impossible." he responds.

then there's silence. just comfortable silence that two people whose relationship peaked to achieve it have.

"don't worry. whatever she thinks, I still—you still will be my child of man." my grandmother. she certainly would have something to say of you.

but she once said that love is unexpected. sometimes it happens the least you expect it, it's unforgettable and it conquers everything else. if your love is strong then nothing will break it. she had told him, and if it were really true. he's sure his love for you knows no bounds.

warmth presses itself to your heart, it travels up to your brain till it forces it to make you smile. "thanks."

you put up an awkward thumbs up. "you'd be my tsunotaro forever too."

he smiles.

for you forever doesn't exist, to him it does.

a selfish part of him just wants you to stay with him till destiny's time is up. and if you want he'll give it right to you. for now he won't make the decision that isn't his right to. your mortality is a problem but no matter how much he wants to get rid of him it's not his choice.

he hopes your love for him is as strong as the one he has for you. but then again, he doesn't believe that the love he has for you is stronger than anyone else.

yes. he has all the time in the world to love you

note. even for just a sec it was really nice to write this. gasp, is this a calling for me?

[ynyaan]

𝙎𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙚 ༄ | 𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 ࣪𖤐

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 | 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | ♕

𝘾𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚-𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜!𝙇𝙤𝙠𝙞 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧| 𝙁𝙚𝙢!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 / 𝙂𝙣!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

Summary: You are at an awful party before meeting Loki on a balcony. You both share a conversation of tension and the smoke of cigarette. "I desire to learn as to why your voice is etched into the walls of my mind.”

.ᐟ 𝙏𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 / 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙫𝙞𝙗𝙚𝙨

You were invited to a fancy dinner gathering. Granted, the night will be filled with disapproving stares and senseless rats that gossip and dance. The party is to be filled with discussions of wealth and flaunts of businesses.

You’ve decided to wear something strong and bold to the eye. A dress, a garment gracefully descending to caress the midpoint of your thigh. Something distinct, the design laced with small bits of shining gems. The color green, the color of money.

“Oh, come on now, let's us not be blinded by the truth! You ARE a child of wedlock!”

Laughter. Moronic rich people who have nothing to do but bring people down to get where they want to be. They provoke emotions to ruin reputations, a plan consisting of their followers, followers that have the task of laughing along brainlessly, like backup performers in a circus.

“Atleast I need not to suck my father's cock just to please him.” You spat, earning frowns and gasps around your crowd.

You were not born out of wealth like these people, but you worked hard and climbed the ranks to get where you are now. These people ridicule you to no end because they cannot fathom the fact you worked hard for something only they should have the privilege of.

You turn to your heel, but before walking away, “Oh daddy, will you give me more money if I take your length?” You hissed, enunciating each word with a baby-like voice, earning once more, faces filled with anger to the specific affluent.

You walk away, ignoring the whispers that grew loudly from the scene you've caused. You turn to find an escape, a window, a balcony.

Perfect. You sighed whilst entering the balcony that finally smelled like fresh air instead of fake money. You walked till you reached the edge of the balcony, smelling the cold air and enjoying the moonlit night.

You whip out a cigarette from your dress's pocket; you usually only smoke when you are pissed or generally just done with everything.

You bring it up to your mouth before realizing you left your lighter inside your bag. “Damn.” You whisper, biting your lip before hearing a soft chuckle, deep and low.

You turn your head and see a man dressed in a suit of green, hair slicked back, and smoke puffed out of his lips. He looks at you, his green eyes shining into yours, it was unreadable but his gaze felt dangerous.

“Your dress is charming.” He comments.

“Yes, well, it's wasted to the rats here.” You respond, not caring if this man could be one of them moronic people. He takes a single step closer to you.

“My name is Loki. Loki of Asgard.” Asgard? It must be a country you don't know of. “My father makes me come to these dull events for social 'interactions'." He continues.

“I assume you cheat out of it every time, simply by going here?” You guessed, seeing as he looked pleased here on the balcony.

He simply smirked in response. “I go by the name (y/n).” You say, deciding to share your name as a courtesy.

“Ah yes, so I've heard.” Silence surrounds you both, not wanting to question what he meant by that. You were frequently talked about, though it was more like being gossiped on.

You were getting quietly uncomfortable with the silence. You had nothing to do with your hands except hold your unlit cigarette.

Out of habit, you bring your cigar up to your mouth. The man beside you suddenly inches closer. He puts his free arm around and touches the other end of the balcony, locking you in without touching you.

He leans closer, faces inches apart. He then positions his cigarette with the one in your hand and shares the fire with you. Once it was lit, you bring it up to your lips and puff the smoke out, relieved you finally got to smoke.

“Thank you.” You say, suddenly feeling his arm move to your waist. You look at him with a questioning eyebrow. He moves his face away slightly. “Hmm?” You hummed.

“I must say I've heard stories about you. Fascinating that it leaves me wondering..” He cuts his sentence off and inhales his cigarette.

He takes his hand off your waist and takes your chin instead, tilting it slightly up. You smirked, opening your mouth ever so slightly, and Loki proceeded to blow the puff of smoke inside.

You inhale it, blowing it out of your nose simultaneously. “I wonder, what is under that false display of yours.” He finishes.

He releases his hold on you, moving his hands to the side of your neck. You feel him brush against your ear. “I want to open your soul." He confesses, whispering his words like a prayer.

"I desire to learn as to why your voice is etched into the walls of my mind.”

You stood there, frozen in place. You decided to puff another smoke, exhaling it out on his neck as his face was still beside your ear. “My my, you're one interested man, aren't you?” You teased.

He chuckles softly before standing up straight. He swiftly takes something out of his pocket. “Here, call me whenever you need me.”

"Let's talk soon." He hands you a card, which you quickly take. He turns on his heel, and just like that, your smoking partner was gone.

“How amusing.”

𝙒𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙥𝙖𝙙: Star (@_ynyaan) ───⋆⋅☆⋅⋆── 𝐼'𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓁𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇 <𝟥

[jewishvitya]

Do you live in Israel or are you just from there? If you do live there, is it scary to be pro-Palestine? I am kind of unclear on what the long-term plan would be when we free Palestine and that seems like the sort of thing you would know, can you help me out? Would settlers continue to live there?

I live in Israel, yeah.

It can be... Isolating. Sad. Horrifying. I lost friends, I can't speak to family members. Scary is... I don't know if that's the word?

Living in a reality of violence is scary, and I do have trauma from the things I experienced. Thunder sounds too much like explosions, if I don't expect it I can get panic attacks just from that. But being pro-Palestine isn't really a factor there.

Yesterday I spoke to an Israeli Palestinian and we spoke about Gaza. We spoke about how I'm worried for several people I personally talked to, how I'm worried for their families and friends and all the fear and grief they're dealing with, how he's been crying every day. We talked about how unnecessary this all is. About how "getting rid of Hamas" is such a useless goal when the destruction will just create the next generation of fighters, and we're killing so many people and ruining so many lives for nothing. We both have children and talked about how we can't imagine having to starve just to make sure the bits of food we have go to them, because children succumb to death from starvation and dehydration first.

He told me, "If a police officer heard us now, we'd both be arrested." He told me he wants to keep his head down, make money to take care of his children, go back home, live his life. And he told me "You know how strong the racism is, because they're racist to you for caring about us." And I wouldn't really put it in these terms, they're not racist to me. But I'm in the splash zone, in a way, by positioning myself close to Palestinians through sympathy and through trying to align myself with their liberation as best I can. And I do feel it. I'm worried about how I might get treated sometimes. It can impact so many things in my life.

But the person I talked to, being in his position is scary.

Me, I'm heartbroken. I'm furious. Seriously, I'm so fucking angry. Not really scared. That's privilege, I guess.

I'm not sure I can answer that too well. Palestinians write about what liberation looks like for them, and my reading process is very slow. So I can't give you any clarity.

If I'm speculating, I'd imagine Palestinians will want their lands back. I don't think we should get to just keep what we stole. This doesn't mean there will be no place for us at all. But I'd imagine a lot of things will have to change and move.

I mean, I spoke to a person from Gaza and I told him what city I live in. He didn't say "Get out of there, how dare you." He said something along the lines of, "I wish I could visit. My close friend is from there. He should have been your neighbor."

The desire to visit came up in conversations with multiple people, it genuinely breaks my heart.

Obviously I can't control what the solution will look like, and the long term will depend on so many factors. But conversations like this one are where I get my picture of what I should be aiming for, if that makes sense. Until I read what I need to and I'm better informed about what Palestinians want this to look like.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey charm, is it true that once you get everything in your life , you'll stop appreciating things in general, cuz you have easy access to it?

I'm not sure if I'm wording this right.pls bear with me, english is my second language.

I was questioning myself trying to understand why it's taking me so long to tap into void ,and this fear popped up.

What I want from void is to be a master manifestor ,being able to summon things out of nowhere. And once I achieve this,will I stop being grateful for things ? What if I turn into this egotistical maniac? This sounds absolutely irrational now that I'm typing it out.

Here is my thought process : the only reason I appreciate having money is because I know what it's like to be poor. The only reason I appreciate having parents who loves me unconditionally is because I know what it's like to live with abusive parents. Etc etc .so once I have everything that I want, will I stop appreciating life ? Will I lose interest in myself ?

I guess I'm over complicating things now. Idk.

Did it change the way you approach life once you entered void and got what you want ? If so how ? If other annons who entered void could answer this, that would be great too.

I absolutely love this question! It's something that I've thought about a lot, and to be honest, I believe that the law is an extension of your personality. It's all about your mindset and your approach to life. If you're kind and generous when you're struggling, you're going to be even more giving when you have wealth and abundance. On the other hand, if you're selfish and greedy when you're poor, you're likely to continue that behavior even if your financial situation changes.

I think it's important to remember that everyone is different, and we all have our own journeys to follow. Even if you compare yourself to people who have always had money and privilege, that doesn't mean that they are inherently happier or more fulfilled than you are. I now can find an abundance of joy in simple things like feeding the animals in my backyard (I recently domesticated a squirrel and crow I’m an animal whisperer) or enjoying a cheap meal from my favorite restaurant. I didn’t have the privilege to enjoy the beauty of nature and little things when I was stressed and poor and riddened with anxiety tbh, but it’s always been there??? Nothing has changed I just have the ability to see it now. I love me a channel purse, but a lot of the things that make happy are free and always have been. I’m still a material girl regardless tho 💅💅

For me, the law has helped me appreciate the little things in life so much more. Before I discovered it, I was always searching for more and never felt satisfied with what I had. But now, I'm grateful for everything in my life, both big and small. I take things less seriously and just focus on being a kind and genuine person. I truly believe that if you put out positive energy into the world, it’s going to be a reflection of your inner heart regardless of whatever.

So don't worry about becoming someone like Elon musk or losing sight of who you are. The law is simply a tool to help you become the best version of yourself. And thinking about this already should be a reminder that you have a great head on your shoulder. Keep growing, keep learning, and keep being true to who you are. That's what really matters in life.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for name dropping some of my friends’ connections?

i (20X) have multiple friends that have connections to pretty famous internet celebrities, creators, etc. i wouldn’t call them household names, because a lot of them are pretty contained to solely online presences, but definitely names most twitter/tumblr users would recognize. i won’t go into too much detail for privacy reasons, but essentially, i’m two degrees of separation from a LOT of popular internet creators.

this isn’t something i talk about often, if really at all. i’ll mention these people to my irl friends all the time, because they’re also my friends, but never about their connections (unless it’s relevant at the time). i met almost all of them naturally, some without even knowing about their connections, either having common interests, or being in the same discord, fanproject, etc. i didn’t befriend them in an attempt to get closer to whatever celebrity they know is what i’m trying to say. at least two of them even made said connection after we’d become acquaintances.

college recently started again, and me and my roommates were invited to a party hosted by some of the girls that live on our floor to get to know everyone better. we ended up playing two truths, one lie to break the ice and get more comfortable with each other. me and my roommates all have a bit of a flair for the dramatic, and stories to back it up, so when it got to their turns (all of them went before me), they went all out. for example, one of them brought up how her moms met david bowie or something because they happened to be bowling in the same alley and ended up talking and getting drinks together. i forget who it actually was, but still. very out there, absurd stories that sound unbelievable/fake, but very much happened.

this is where i may be the asshole. when it got to my turn, i ended up name-dropping some of my connections. i said something along the lines of “i have fairly close connections to x, y, and z.” writing it like that doesn’t have the same impact, but you get my point. everyone in the room knew who they were is the important part. the room guessed what the lie was wrong, and promptly began to ask how i knew the people i’d named. i explained i had a few internet friends that had/have worked closely with them, and that i either knew certain things the general public doesn’t, or that i’ve had the privilege of contributing to projects/suggesting ideas because of it. it’s important to mention that i didn’t lead with having insider knowledge/positions, because i know i’d be the asshole if i had. they asked, i answered as much as i could, which wasn’t much more than i stayed here. i didn’t say any specific projects or ideas for what i think are fairly obvious reasons. they hadn’t reacted very much to any of my roommates’ insane bullshit, so i hadn’t expected such a response and thought my truth was fairly tame in comparison, honestly. (another example: one of them has nearly drowned 7 times, with 5 of those times all happening on a tuesday. they’ve told me all 7 of those stories and i think they’re super interesting, a lot more than me just having connections to people i don’t even personally know.)

anyways. the conversation moved on, the same continued, all seems good. that was a week ago, for reference. i find out a few of the people there are in my classes, which is great! i get to talking to most of them, and they’re all as friendly as they were when we met, except for one, who i’ll call holly (not her real name). holly acts cordial when she has to (group discussion, that sort of stuff) but whenever i try to talk or interact with her outside of that, she outright ignores me. she fully walked past me once despite us not only making eye contact, but me waving and calling her name. i didn’t get why she was acting like that all of a sudden, because she didn’t have any problems with me during the party. i didn’t think i’d done anything to wrong her, but just in case, i reached out to one of her roommates to ask if holly had told them anything about it, or if they remembered me doing something to make her react that way that i just forgot or didn’t realize i’d done.

one of them got back to me today that holly had apparently gone on a tirade about how disgusting i was, how i was clearly just “using” my friends because of their connections, that i only used them for clout and popularity, etc. which, as i said, is FULLY not true. what bothers me most is that she reached that conclusion with absolutely no evidence other than one conversation, one that me and all my roommates were clearly using to highlight the more silly/out-there aspects of our lives. most of the time i spent explaining things consisted of me gushing over how cool and hard-working my friends are for having those opportunities and how much i look up to them. i don’t know if she wasn’t paying attention or thought i was lying or what, but now i’m worried i may have actually come off that way. like that maybe i actually WAS just using them in that instance, whether i intended to or not, and that i came off as super assholeish and manipulative. so, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[potentialguybodyswaps]

I think tumblr deleted one of my stories, so I’ll post it again lmfao

Swap Class part 1:

America is going straight to hell, every aspect of society has gone to pleasing the Pansy ass democrats

Like they added this new sub course to Sociology, called swap class, where the goal was to allow you to experience life though other people’s eyes, so you could have empathy for those not as privileged…

Kinda vague if you ask me, but as the captain of the basket ball team, I’m just tryin to take easy classes, which I’m told sociology was, until they decided to add it to the course shortly after picking up the class

I walked into class that day and we had a different professor than usual, some chick.

I took my seat next to some fag, he was Hispanic and kinda built like a twink. I actually remembered him tho cause he was one of the kids I bullied here

She was going over the rules of class, but to me it was just another monologue that I didn’t care for. eventually she finally did some shit that caught my attention.

the professor wheeled out some machine and told us “this right here, is where the magic happens, the heart of swap class”

One student yelled out “what is it” to which the professor said “it’s the body swap machine that you all will be doing your projects on”

For this first time in this class I was absolutely baffled “Bodyswap? Project? What’s the project about” i yelled

“ yes so the project is each and every one of you will get the GREAT Opportunity to swap bodies with a classmate for a month, and you’ll have to right a 10 page essay about their lives and how it differs from your own, any questions?” She said looking over the class

Another student then called out “yes, do we get to pick who we swap with?”

The professor smiled and said “No, if you look down at your seat, you’ll see there all labeled, so whoever is in seat one will swap with 2, whoever is in seat 3 will swap into seat 4… any other questions”

“Yes what if we don’t wanna stay swapped for the whole month?” I asked

“Well I suppose you’d get an F, if you don’t care about your GPA, and flunking the first semester, that’s fine I suppose, ok enough questions, everyone look at your seat and figure out who your partner will be. Once done start lining up”

Man, I couldn’t fail this class, if I fail any of my classes my position on the team is in jeopardy… I looked down at my seat, and saw the number 44

“Oh no” I thought to myself as I herd calls chuckle as I looked down and saw the number 44

I looked at his desk and saw the number 45.

“Fuck bro, I guess we’re swapping bodies for the next month” i said looking him up and down. “Try not to do any dorky shit in my body ok? I don’t want people starting to think I’m a loser”

“Aye aye captain” Carlos said with a weird ass smile

“Like that shit bro, don’t ever say that shit again” i said scowling as i got up to get in line

Carlos followed me and got in line, after all the swaps were done there were only a couple minutes left of class since each pair of people took about a minute to swap

“Now before you all go about your new lives for the month, don’t forget to follow the rules, if any of you do something to mess with the other’s life while your inhabiting it, they have the option of not swapping back and keeping your life if they want” the professor said as the bell ring

On my way to Carlos’s next class I couldn’t help but feel how weird my junk felt

I tried rearranging it, but it wouldn’t go down ether of my pants leg. “he must be too small to fit it down a pants leg” I said to myself laughing as I used an arm to feel the rest of my chest

“Dam Carlos sure is boney, I can feel he has has abs but it’s not like he works out type of abs, more like he doesn’t eat food type of abs”

I knew Carlos was a 2nd generation Mexican, but his English was pretty good. That didn’t stop me from making fun of him tho for being from a poor immigrant family

I think the worst part of this all is how the bully has become the bullied, I knew the other assholes in school were probably gonna make a target of me, so I decided to minimize that as much as possible

I went to the typical hang out spot for the the basketball team and saw there were only 2 guys

Zeke, and Caleb, they weren’t my favorite people on the team but I knew they would protect me

I walked up to them and they seemed pretty hostile “aye fucktard, get out of here, we’re waiting on other members of the team to show up so we can hang out”

I tried to explain to them what happened in swap class but they didn’t seem to believe me

“Oh ya? If your really Ryan, pull your pants down and show us this kids dick, we all know it’s gotta be small compared to your actual dick ” one of them said

For some reason being told what to do was kinda a turn on and I immediately got hard…

I laughed and told them “I personally haven’t checked it out for myself but your definitely right haha”

I pulled my pants down to show them, underwear still up, and I guess that was enough for them, since I was already hard they could tell that I was no where near as big as my original body haha

They started laughing at me when I pulled my pants down and took a photo.

“Ya I’m probs like 5 inches haha, i don’t know” I said laughing with them

“Why are you laughing Carlos?” One of them said seriously

“W-what’s the issue” I started to say before getting cut off

“Get on your knees dude” they said again while unbuckling their jeans. i don’t know what it is, but for some reason in Carlos’s body, I found it hot and wanted to obey when I was given commands

I got on my knees and they both pulled out their cocks in my face

“Suck” Caleb said to me

I opened my mouth and took Caleb’s dick in first, trying not to gag, he wasn’t the biggest on the team by far, that was me, at 9 inches, but Caleb was pretty big too, at 7 inches, he was bigger than zeke

Zeke had his phone out the whole time I was sucking Caleb’s dick, I decided it sucked to be the bitch of the group and put all my effort into sucking Caleb and Zeke off, I started focusing on mainly the head and got Caleb to cum in under 10 minutes, dispute him using his hands to push me further down onto his cock, so I wasn’t able to focus as much as I wanted on the tip…

After I got Caleb to cum, he pulled out and Zeke stuck it in my mouth as he handed Caleb the phone

“Ya you like sucking the teams dick don’t you!?” He said to me while I sucked him off

“Answer me when I’m talking to you” Zeke said pulling his dick out

This whole situation sucked so I was just trying to get it over with as fast as possible

“Yes zeke” I said as I inched closer to put his dick back in my mouth

“That’s fine, there’s plenty of people on the team, we kinda need a cock sucker to keep us all happy, who knows maybe you’ll get a spot on the team” he said laughing

“I don’t think that’s necessary” I mumbled

“Oh yay and why is ThATTTT” Zeke said as he cummed into my mouth

The taste was just as salty as Caleb, but I told him “cause like always, I’m too good for y’all”

“Psh whatever that means fag, now get out of here and don’t talk to us again” they said as Caleb handed Zeke his phone back and put it in his pocket

I headed back to Carlos’s dorm and went to bed early that night, sadden that some of my own best friends didn’t believe me, and forced me to suck their dick just for trying to talk to them…

I woke up the next day and took a look in the mirror, I couldn’t believe that I was actually Carlos, I always seem to be hard, but it’s not hard to hide when I’m this small haha

I won’t lie, his face is kinda cute, if he was more muscular and had a bigger cock, I just might be fine with staying this way. But bro is a absolute twink, though and though, which isn’t what I want to be so, I can’t wait till the end of the month and get my body back

I got dressed for the day and made my way to Carlos’s classes, I proceeded to just go home each night and try to sleep as early as possible

Less time I’m awake, the less times it feels like I’m stuck as this fag

I would text Carlos every now and again asking him how things were going, was he going to practice? To which he typically just responded ya “fine” “good” or “yay”

I do take that back tho, I wouldn’t always go to bed right away, Carlos was in the band, and so I would try to play his instrument and practice, I didn’t really know what I was doing but as I looked at the sheet music while I played, I just somehow knew where to put my fingers to make music.

Eventually when the time came for the next basketball game (which was a week after we swapped)

I got on the bus to travel with the band, but since it was such a small band, Carlos in my body, and the rest of the team was also on the bus.

After the band got on, Carlos was one of the first people from the team on the bus, and made way towards me, picking a seat across from me

Eventually I started falling asleep on the long ass ride to our game, the bus was full of chit chat about the game, but it was just white noise to me

Eventually I was woke up to Carlos smacking one of my arms

I opened my eyes and looked over with complete horror written on my face.

I saw Carlos with his shorts and underwear pulled down, with our team hat placed over his junk

“What are you doing bro, you know the rules of the swap, don’t do that in my body” i said trying to hide a look of desperation on my face.

Carlos smirked and stood up, still covering my junk from the public, and did a loud whistle that got everyone’s attention

“As team captain I just wanted to say, no matter what happens tonight, we all know we’re the better team and they all can just suck my dick if they think other wise” he said smiling as he pulled the cap away exposing his, or should I say my big dick to the team and band”

The crowd started applauding and he sat back down pulling his shorts back up

Whole time i was just staring at him in disbelief, “bro what the fuck, why did you do that? Are you trying to keep my body? I mean all you did is let everyone know how big my cock is, probs the biggest here, that’s not exactly damaging my rep haha, I’ll still take my body back at the end of this… you’ll have to try harder, if that’s what your trying to do” I said regaining a bit of my confidence

Carlos made direct eye contact with me and smirked as he leaned in closer to me

“Ya but you see, after a shirtless pic of me with my pants down, leaked, and you sucking off some of your supposed friends on the team, my reputation is trashed. the professor already knows too” he said as the smile on my formal face grew bigger, as I finally realized where he was going with this

“No” I started but got cut off before I could finish.

“With that said, she says I don’t have to do the essay… and I get to keep your body if I want, which I mean who wouldn’t wanna be the big dicked basketball captain, fucking his girlfriend every other night. Oh which she says has been way better recently… your girl likes me fucking her better, than when you were haha! So ya bro, I think ima keep your body, and your not getting it back, so feel free to keep sucking the teams dick, I can be next if you want” Carlos said grabbing my formal junk though his shorts

I wrapped my arms around my head and just sunk into my seat

“Wtf bro this isn’t fair” I mumbled

“What’s not fair is you being a bully and thinking you can get away with whatever you want” he said jokingly hitting me in his head a bit

“Use your head Mcfly, hello? Anyone home?” he said doing his best impression of biff from back to the future

[coeluvr]

Hmmm, so what’s worse for the ROs reputation concerning Mc? Like if they romance mc while they’re consort to the king or If they romance them after they somehow aren’t consort anymore? I mean, I know that the country kind of hates us, but do they feel like consort! mc has this position as a show of power from the king? as an act of kindness? And would they care less if we have a relationship with like Vincent bc he’s a bastard and more if it’s Helios? Or would people be equally frustrated because how dare you?

I know maybe the answers are kind of obvious but I want the nuance I guess lol sorry

I think it's worse if MC is still consort because it's as if you're betraying the Emperor by having an affair with his Consort. If it's after MC is no longer Consort then they'll just grumble and talk shit.

All of the ROs would take damage but the RO whose reputation would suffer the most is Helios because MC is his father's Consort so it's like "?? why would you do that" they'd essentially see it as cheating even though it's not an actual relationship. And it's worse because you betrayed family.

Vincent would suffer too but more in the sense that people would be like "If he can betray the Emperor like that why should he be the next General? He'll lead everyone to death!"

In Soarine's case it would simply be used in the "See this is why she doesn't deserve the throne! We can't be Vesphire 2.0"

Fadiya and Hunter would get less of the dramatics, the people would mainly point fingers at MC but they would still want Fadiya/Hunter to be kicked out and losing their privileges.

I think in every dynamic, MC still suffers the most because the people would be all "He showed you kindness, spared you, gave you a good comfortable life but you still had an affair?"

A bit more context: They would think of it as cheating and as an affair mainly because the RO isn't recognized as one of the "official lovers". The two would have to go through a whole process and they would need to be recognized by Luceris if MC ever wants to take lovers, if it's a secret and hidden thing instead then it's scandal time.

[tarosucheon]

genuinely think Ian would be SUCH a better main character for eleceed than Jiwoo could ever hope to be.

Narrative and perspective wise, Jiwoo does have the upside of not being tied to an association or a specific setting, and his past breaches into a lot of unknown territory with the awakener world, but Jiwoo also propels the story of eleceed in an extremely rose-colored lens. This is because Jiwoo is, arguably, much more privileged than any of the other characters in this story. He can somehow perfectly balance a happy, idyllic life and then also be deeply involved with the hot violent mess that is the awakener world. He's met some of the most kindest, gracious people when we know the awakener world is anything but that. He leads a relatively politically unburdened life, with his own independence and freedom, which is far more than any of the other awakeners in this story could ask for. He emerges unscathed from any conflict he's in because he has two (three?) absolute fucking nuclear powerhouses who'll come to his aid at any given moment-and, might I add, practically is the reason he can have as much freedom as he does.

I guess my main takeaway is that Jiwoo does not accurately depict the struggle of the setting that he is in. He finds the awakener world as the place where he finds his own footing, where he can feel accepted and welcomed for something that would usually cast him aside as an anomaly. And, sure, that's what makes him a good main character-that's what sets him apart from anyone else in this story. But one of his only traits that made Jiwoo stand out in the awakener world environment was the fact that he found fighting fun.

It makes sense, considering Jiwoo's scenario, that he would be one of the few who would find sparring fun. it's the thing that gave him his place in the world. With his complete independence, there's no stakes or burdens on him when it comes to fighting. He's never lived a life where when the stakes are far larger than just losing the spar itself, where politics to family honor is wagered on a single battle, where he's been burdened with the knowledge since childhood that his power is what will keep them at the top and can never afford mistakes. And that's my main issue. One of the only things that sets him apart is something that's derived solely because of his privilege he has in eleceed.

This is where Ian comes in. He is one of the few-if not only-other character in eleceed besides Jiwoo who finds fighting fun. And this-this is what makes him far more interesting than Jiwoo. Ian comes from a situation similar-if not likely more intense-than the other WAA students. He and his family are one of the most highest ranked people in the political world in eleceed. From what we've seen, every character in a similar position to him are, for a very good reason, bitter, snarky, prideful, and chronically overburdened with the weight of the awakened world. The awakener world breeds generation after generation of awakeners obsessed and fixated on power and becoming stronger than anyone else.

But Ian goes against that grain. Instead of simply smirking snidely at Jiwoo when he found how strong he was, he got genuinely excited over it, enthusing that it'd been awhile since he had fought someone on his level. No masked words, no pretenses, just pure enthusiasm and love for what he does. He got irritated in his stagnancy not because he was fueled by the all consuming thought to 'get stronger so I can become the strongest awakener' but because he wanted to hone his craft.

Additionally, Ian grew up in an enviroment that exposes him to every nook and cranny of the ugliness of the awakener world. He's probably seen some shit-people dying because of spars, associations crumbling, wars being waged. He knows the weight and responsibility that his title and power holds. He'd give the audience a much more clearer, raw view of what the awakener world is actually like and intricacies of it.

In terms of character itself, Ian would be such a joy to read about. His personality is in accordance to his environment and how he was raised. He's snarky, bratty, rude-basically every average WAA personality box ticked off-but despite that, he's also much more candid and has a rebellious flair. He doesn't beat around the bush or lie-he says things how he sees it and doesn't spout any flowery bullshit.

Additionally, though he's confident and sure of himself and his character, knows how to manipulate and work the system, he's also brash and volatile, which would open up opportunities for the audience to be able to really see his youth and immaturity because he really is just a kid at the end of the day.

Jiwoo, as far as we can tell, wants to bring about change in the awakener world through his kindness. But that completely juxtaposes the fact that he's...brutally fighting in order to do that. But Ian would bring hell on earth if he was the MC. he'd bring change with his unapologetic attitude and unwavering confidence, fighting against the grain in a way that makes sense but still highlights his rebellion. He'd know how to tear down the system from the inside out, or maybe he'd unintentionally just be a trailblazer along the story. Either way, 100000 times more interesting than Jiwoo

[11natrium]

I suppose that I might share some feeling regarding my own masculinity I've been having about myself to the world, perhaps some will find them relatable.

tl;dr - I'm AMAB, and while I struggled with accepting my masculinity, trans men made me feel at peace and safe with it, and I cannot thank them enough.

Now for the longer version:

For quite a while now (a few years, in fact), I have been struggling with my masculinity, as an AMAB person. I grew to feel super uncomfortable with the implications that came from being a "man", at least as it can be stereotypically understood. I know very well that masculinity has positive aspects, like strength or reliability, but being called a "man" made me also feel like someone automatically perceived as aggressive, or dangerous, or a sex pest, or a creep. As far as I'm aware, I am none of that - but I can't help that being "a man" makes me feel like someone who poses some sort of danger, or is a threat to those around them. It no doubt comes from experiencing toxic masculinity - more so from my peers and general society, as I'm thankfully privileged to have a normal family, where everyone is, well, normal and supportive and non-abusive. Still, that toxic masculinity, or hearing about certain men being just, fucking losers, made me want to detach myself from being called a "man".

This is partially why I embraced the identity of a demiboy. Someone mostly masculine, but still someone who does not want to call themselves a man. To be clear - there is more to my identity than just discomfort with stereotypical masculinity. I have interest in outfits and activities perceived as feminine, there are subtleties to how I like to picture myself in art, using a feminine name (Marcy) towards myself, using gender neutral pronouns (they/them) etc. - it goes deeper than just what I outlined above. That's a story for another day, though, what matters for this post is that I felt that unease with my own masculinity.

I guess this is where trans men come in. Briefly - over time, as I interacted with trans men and transmasc folks in general, I started to feel a weird sort of appreciation, maybe even jealousy for them, like I wished I was more like them myself. Eventually, I started to realise that their comfort and the gender euphoria they feel from being masculine made me feel more at peace and secure with my own masculinity. Seeing as one can feel genuine joy from being a man, from the masculinity they themselves worked to achieve, and from the positive aspects of that masculinity, while also rejecting the toxic parts of it... It just, makes me feel SO much better with myself as well.

Perhaps it sounds silly or obvious? But that realisation that I do NOT have to embrace all the baggage that comes with masculinity, and I can instead pick and choose parts of it, shaping my own version of being a man that makes me feel comfortable is something that made me feel massively better with myself. Being a silly guy gives me genuine gender euphoria - so I just embrace that "silly guy" part of masculinity, and give up on the toxic parts of it, like aggressive dominance, or hierarchical view of the world.

Going onwards, I don't think I'll be changing my pronouns from they/them, or drop the demiboy description of my identity. As I said - there is more to my identity that just discomfort for being called a man. But at least, I can be at peace with my own masculinity.

I genuinely have every single trans man and transmasculine person to thank for it. You made my life better, and I could never show properly just how deep my appreciation for you all goes.

While it doesn't really apply to me, I'm certain that trans women and transfeminine people have a similar influence for cis and gnc women. In fact, I have read a similar post from a female perspective before, and I have no doubts that this post influenced my realisation in how much more comfortable I am with my own masculinity thanks to transmasculine folks.

Trans people are a gift to this world. Their presence alone makes the world such a more beautiful place, period. I wish them all plenty of luck and joy going onwards! And once more - thank you all.

[rongzhi]

How would you describe the attitude towards trans people in China? ((I ask this as a trans person who would like to work there as an expat))

I don’t live in China so I couldn’t tell you with any certainty what to expect in real life anyway. But, you asked, so I want to at least take a stab at it, even if I just end up rambling about other things.

I expect you know it’s already hard enough to be trans in the west, even in the supposed liberal utopia of major cities. Now think about moving to another country and having to start out with no real support network. Now on top of that, while recognition and acceptance of queer identities, particularly gays and lesbians, in China has taken strides forward in recent years, it’s still not on the same level with the same sort of sensitive treatment as what you could say many have come to expect in the West (depending on where you live). The official government stance on LGBT issues is a tepid “uhhhhhhmmmm 🙈🙉🙊” (“Laws protect all individuals from discrimination on the basis of gender, sexual orientation, etc, but until something happens don’t look at us for nothing 🤐. Please clap.”), so most LGBT education/awareness largely comes through local grassroots efforts (slow and frequently hampered) and online/global media exposure (tho this also requires a level of voluntary engagement).

So, I’m not trying to spook you, but I wanted to make that clear first, that merely moving to another country as a trans person is no enviable task. If you do immigrate to China or live there for a period of time, you will of course at least have some level of privilege as an English speaking (white?) foreigner, so that might help, especially if you plan on hanging out with other expats anyway. Living in a major city would also help, which is really just to say, city folk anywhere are always going to be more open-minded and so I guess this finally brings us close to more of an answer to your question:

Based on my limited observations, I feel like the attitude toward the every day trans person trends negative compared to the west, perhaps largely due to lack of understanding (why would “choose” to be trans, how could you do such a thing, etc). It is not illegal or anything, and HRT/gender reassignment surgery is available in China, medically speaking, but again, I sense that the knowledge/understanding disparity when it comes to transgender identity is pretty high and therefore acceptance is inversely proportional to that. Discussion of the topic that I have seen has never really been that nuanced. Young people are more likely to accept and support LGBT+ individuals in general, but that’s “in general (like, I supsect that it might be more for LGB support versus trans support, as typically LGB issues receive greater attention than trans issues).

On the more neutral/positive end, there will be people who say “as long as they’re not hurting anyone”/ “a person has to live for themself/respect each person’s right to make their own choices in life” and that sort of thing, but I’ve never seen anything pro trans or pro gender revelations per se (this is true by and large in the West as well I think, so no big diff there), and anecdotally, I’ve seen a lot of those comments toward trans people of like “oh but you used to be so pretty/handsome, why would blah blah blah”, and more emphasis seems to be placed on passing, like I guess the more successfully you transition to the opposite gender (ftm or mtf) the more respect you deserve (as if transition should be the goal) (like if you botch it, visually speaking, you might as well have not even bothered) (but I guess this is also true in mainstream thought in the west), and even if you pass you might still get hit with the “can you believe they’re actually a _?”/ "wow I have to be more careful" treatment.

I guess it’s worth noting Jin Xing, a popular trans celebrity/TV presenter in China, is also highly respected, even amongst older generations (which is cool). To many, she “already counts as a real woman” (to quote a comment I saw once) because she’s seen as dedicated to being herself (a woman), and is a wonderful mother to 3 adopted children. People respect her because she worked hard and she has an attractive personality, but at the same time, she’s also high profile enough that the disrespect can get drowned out by the admirers, so she's not a typical case of the trans experience in China obviously.

TLDR

Soooo. I don't live in China so my perspective is limited (I can't emphasise that enough) and only my own opinion based on discourse/exchanges, commentary, depictions, etc, I've witnessed on the Chinese web (douyin, bilibili, zhihu, and douban forums for the most part).

I don’t know how rude anyone would be to your face. Being a foreigner/expat (I said “(white?)” earlier because I feel like “expat” usually refers to white people) might afford you some extra privilege or at least a wider berth from dealing with assholes. As of right now, my impression of the general attitude toward trans people is: improving but still behind and still with the focus on successful transition. Lots of awareness is still needed but efforts to increase it are slow and hampered.

---

Aaaaah this turned out way longer than I'd hoped 😬 and I always feel like I'm typing up paragraph upon paragraph of unintelligible nonsense but I hope this give you some food for thought, since you asked for my take. I expect you're already quite sober to the realities of We Live In a Society™ as a trans person, so apologies if I sound too pompous or lecture-y at any point.

[redditreceipts]

Sorry, but it's biologically incorrect to say that a Mtf who has undergone a "complete" transition is still a male, it's a misidentification of their current sexed state. The person no longer has a male reproductive system etc ( so no longer has a body organized around sperm production) and is therefore not a male, however that doesn't men they've become female and it doesn't change the fact that they are a *natal* male. Their sexed state is a kind of medically-induced intersexuality. Claiming that Mtfs are still males because they were born as such is like claiming that adults are still a babies because they were born as such.

They are still members of the male sex class and benefit from this sex class membership because our sex-gender system is organized around birth sex, not current sex. If tomorrow it were biologically possible to become the opposite sex, mtfs would retain their birth sex privilege and sex class membership, even though they would also be targeted for their current sex. Idk i think.. they would occupy a specific gendered position in the sex hierarchy informed both by their natal and current sex, were birth sex would be imo, more influent as it decides their sex class membership.

This is how I always understood stuff (not a biologist though, so please correct me):

I think that biological sex is determined by phenotype. Your phenotype is how your genetics interact with your environment. For example, you might have a genetic height range from 1,50m (if you eat very badly in your childhood) to 1,65 (if you eat very well in your childhood). If you have a mediocre diet in your childhood, so you are 1,60 m when you're grown. 1,60 m is now your phenotype. If you have a surgery where you break your legs and then get height added, maybe you can reach 1,70 m. This, however, does not affect your phenotype, because this surgery did not affect your genetics. Your phenotypical height (genetics x environment) is still 1,60 m.

But I guess that you can say that biological sex is determined by hormone state of the body or physical appearance? That would also make sense, and I really like your analysis of birth sex! I hadn't thought of it that way, and if you bring birth sex into the equation, it doesn't matter that much what someone's biological sex is.

And one thing at the end - these people are not intersex and there have been intersex people either telling me directly or saying generally that they don't want to be compared to transgender people. In the end, intersex people have a myriad of things they still have to fight for, and being intersex is a very specific situation, so I would not compare it to people who voluntarily take hormones to alter their body. I wish I could explain exactly why this comparison is not accurate, but for the moment, I dont know too much about biology and I think that we should just rely on and listen to intersex people on this one.

[lefresne]

So let me get this straight: the reason why the Affair between Lancelot and Guinevere causes the fall of Camelot, is because almost half the knights were loyal to Lancelot than to Arthur, and that Lancelot was, in some ways, the shadow leader of the Round Table? When Lancelot kills Gawain's sibling, People took sides?

I’d start by saying that there is no one ‘Fall of Camelot tm’. To say that there is would be as disingenuous as attempting to stabilise a broad, complex, heterogenous body of work that evolved and grew over 500+ years. Each text will have its own interpretation of the circumstances surrounding the political collapse of the Arthurian realm. It’s complicated, and sometimes seems to run counter to our modern understanding of canonicity, but that’s alright! The interpretation below is based on Malory, as Malory, perhaps influenced by the English political landscape of the time, particularly stresses the importance of political factions all vying for influence over the king and queen, as well as the tensions that can arise between affective and political communities.

Reading Malory, it becomes apparent that Logres is dominated by four major factions: Gawain (Orkney and Lothian), Lancelot (Benoic / France), Tristan (Cornwall), Lamorak (Wales). I understand ‘faction’ as meaning a community bound by both kinship and feudal ties. As is consistent with 15th century politics, the individuals at court are the ‘heads’ of often much larger political networks that stretch across Britain.

What is so interesting about Malory is that the text shifts the blame for the collapse of Camelot away from the adulterous affair between Lancelot and Guinevere and rather towards the political ramifications thereof, which themselves then become symptomatic of problems inherent to late medieval feudalism. And this is not to say that this is the sole cause for the end of Camelot, either. Reading (and re-reading) Malory sometimes feels like plucking at a huge ball of yarn for different narrative threads: depending on how you might pick it up, you might blame Uther, who instigates a pattern of criminal sexual behaviour which then becomes compounded with each successive generation (going from adultery (Uther) to adultery and incest (Arthur) to adultery and incest and patricide (Mordred)), or Morgan, for stealing that damn scabbard (not going to lie, I’m a lot less convinced by this one lol), or the Grail for like, existing and revealing the chivalric system’s inherent weaknesses I guess.

 The Welsh and Scottish factions are at odds already following the death of Lot, and these tensions continue to mount throughout the narrative, until the Welsh faction has been largely annihilated by Gawain and his followers. The Scottish faction feels ‘entitled’ to a certain standing at court due to their close kinship with Arthur, and resents anything or anyone that might jeopardise this privileged position( see, for example, the brothers complaining that ‘whom that we hate kynge Arthure lovyth, and whom that we love he hatyth’). Gawain’s friendship with Lancelot keeps the wider faction in check for a long while, however. The Queen, meanwhile, has established her own political network, which overlaps with Lancelot’s. Although Lancelot’s faction has an ambivalent attitude towards Guinevere, it is established that this relationship is mutually beneficial. The Queen ensures Lancelot and his kin’s high standing at court, and Lancelot and his kin will defend her if needed.

After the Grail Quest, the Arthurian political landscape is in shambles. The knights have dispersed, Gawain has murdered God knows how many of his co-workers, and an entire kin group has been decimated. The situation in Cornwall is not too good either, Tristan has been killed, along with a bunch of his allies, and Marc hates Arthur. This exacerbates pre-existing tensions, and remaining allies of Tristan are ‘absorbed’ into Lancelot’s faction, because Lancelot and Tristan had been friends. We quickly learn that Agravaine is jealous of Lancelot’s proximity to the queen and of his political influence. The problem is not the adultery per se, rather the queen’s public displays of favouritism. Lancelot and Guinevere are described as taking walks together and conversing privately – this reference to the walking is important because this was at the time an important part of the queenly schedule, during which courtiers would be allowed to approach and petition her. Agravaine resents Lancelot for ‘monopolising’ the queen’s attention, which he perceives as a slight on his kin group. The Scottish faction now understand that if Lancelot falls, then their group will, by default, rise. Guinevere senses this threat and multiplies public displays of favour towards Gawain and his kin, but this goes disastrously - an ally of Lamorak uses a dinner held in Gawain’s honour to attempt to poison him.  Although Gawain vehemently defends Guinevere, his faction are willing to believe that she would go as far as to poison Gawain for, presumably, Lancelot’s sake. Mador, who is related to Gawain, turning against the queen also serves to prefigure the text’s final conflict, in which Lancelot’s and Gawain’s factions turn against each other. Once again, Lancelot’s faction must intervene to restore order, Nenyve reveals the true poisoner and Lancelot, who had been missing, miraculously returns to save the queen from the pyre. This confirms the extent to which Guinevere and Arthur (who has to beg Bors to fight for his wife) are politically reliant on Lancelot. Agravaine, understanding that his earlier complaint about the queen’s political favouritism has had approximately zero impact, now begins to additionally charge her with adultery (note that Agravaine was with Guinevere throughout the knight of the cart episode).

Gawain, who is friends with both Lancelot and Guinevere, continues to defend them. As he says: not only has Lancelot come to their aid numerous times, ‘if there aryse warre and wrake betwyxte sir Launcelot as us, wyte you well, brothir, there woll many kynges and grete lordis holde with sir Launcelot’. When they ambush the queen, Malory specifies that all the knights present are ‘of Scotlonde, other ellis of sir Gawaynes kynne, other well-wyllers to his brothir’. 

The deaths of Gaheris and Gareth as they guard the queen’s pyre cause a heartbroken Gawain to turn against Lancelot. Now that the affective bonds have broken, all out war breaks out, and Lancelot is forced into exile, taking with him a significant number of knights who are still loyal to him. Arthur, goaded by Gawain, chases after him, leaving the country unattended so that Mordred can seize power. New factions form - those loyal to Mordred and those loyal to Arthur. Civil war breaks out.

The deaths of Gareth and Gaheris do not force knights to take sides, the sides have always existed, but they had been previously kept ‘in check’ by Gawain’s affection for Lancelot, Guinevere, and Arthur. Arthur’s status is never really challenged in Malory, neither Lancelot nor Gawain ever think of overthrowing him, the question is always one of influence. It doesn't matter that the king is largely effaced and at times ineffectual because he is the king. Mordred seizing power in Arthur’s absence is seen as the ultimate betrayal and signals, within the political world Malory has outlined, absolute moral corruption. TLDR: the deaths of Gareth and Gaheris cause affective bonds to break and to therefore reveal the fragmented structure of the king’s court and the tenuous nature of peace. I wouldn’t call Lancelot a ‘shadow leader’ (although I do think that’s a very interesting idea!) because Malory never questions Arthur’s kingship. The text is largely about influence over the king rather than an outright overthrowing of the king. Malory condemns Mordred for seizing power, and condemns the barons for siding with him. But I also think that Malory’s approach to politics and community is a lot more nuanced than just Lancelot = good Gawain = bad. The text reflects a community in crisis and under intense pressure that is trying its best to survive.

[supahstarrr]

Tier List ☆ DRA edition! WARNING, long reasons below + borderline analysis of characters; and these are just my opinions! If you'd like to talk to me about these opinions, discuss stuff, and/or how I interpret a character (positive or negative ways) then going to my askbox is an option.

Rei Mekaru (Favorite) ― I was shocked she managed to be extremely likeable despite her heavy inspiration being my least favorite DR antagonist (*ahem* Byakuya). One of the noticeable and favorite things about her is how she is such a clever example of the "uptight smart supportive character who doesn't tell you answers right away" because it works so well with her ultimate title! She's an ultimate professor—commonly professors & teachers purposely guide you towards the answers as you'll be more able to comprehend it when you take the steps towards understanding the answer, it's a teaching method. On the surface it's more of a small yet clever detail, although it really helps you understand one of the big parts of her character, give weight to her actions, and keep her grounded to some extend.. which is why I'm so damn infatuated with this detail. To get deeper with it, her background also explains why she is attracted to teaching as a profession and her guidance; for a big section of her life as a child, she had to guide herself, which helped her understand the need and how to guide others.

Her obsession with competence is interesting in this case. While Byakuya's stemmed heavily from privilege, hers doesn't. It is particularly based off of her the skills that she had to develop on her own, which is her version of "competence." She analyze her background, thought her family didn't have the skills she developed on her own, and almost completely discredited them as an actual family. It's interesting and tragic to me; her obsession with competence is such a huge habit stemming from her looking at her background with child-like eyes. She appear obsessive and stuck because I mean, she's attached to this "competence" concept she built up from the lack of skills needed to comprehend a situation (since she was a child) and trauma, and used as a tool for survival (to shield her mental state, to be more clear) and as her power. It's just a really huge reminder that she's just, you know, young and lack some experience.

Everything just make so sense with her, she is so good written goddammit!!! Also, an underappreciated skill of hers is her creative skills! I mean this is an underappreciated skill when it comes to a variety of The Smart characters, but anyways— her intelligence also connects to creative skills, which is what she uses in the trials! It's a typical thing for creativity to interconnect with analytical skills, adding onto how smart a character is. A huge example of this creativity of her (or as what people describe, "thinking out of the box") is when she guessed the casts' memories were altered quite early! I love her analytical skills in general, though I love it even more when it connects to creativity :).

Although she's my favorite, I can't deny that sometimes I did want to smack her, and I do believe the way she spoke to others is something to dislike or criticize (even if "that's the point"). What particularly should be criticized is she spoke to Kizuna was... odd to say and was leaning to very internalized misogyny territory. The slut shaming when it came to Kizuna was just so wrong. I'm alright with "bitch" being said sometimes, but it feels more wrong when it's paired up with slut shaming. I definitely doubt that most fangan developers have misogyny in mind when it comes to developing how women in their art view the world, although it would make sense if misogyny also contributed to her obsession with competence! Which is something I find quite interesting.

Too many paragraphs I'm sorry, but I'll say this one thing. I also like how she appears more grounded than Byakuya. I have to say... although I'm saying this more loosely since I haven't watched DR1 in a while... I DEFINITELY prefer Rei over Byakuya...

Kanata Inori (Favorite) ― Not every character I like or my favorites has to be very good written. Love her lots, although I admit that she doesn't have that much depth & traits to her and that's alright honestly! She has a background which is fine with me, and it's just. What I love about her is how she suffered through a tragic event, someone in her life expressed kindness, and now she just has genuine love for caring about others. It's simple really, and I think that it's an admirable thing when it comes to characters and people in general. The quirks is what really make her more likeable to me; sometimes she's appears cryptic (especially in FTEs) and and it's quite amusing— it's interesting how far she's overly obsessed with germs to the point of walking around with socks and slippers. She's a character that sure can give comfort in a world where many doctors & surgeons mainly care more about money more than other people's safety

Teruya Otori (Like) ― Let me say, I didn't expect there to be two "Funny coward" characters and I expected this one to die the MOST.

I regret what I said... am so sorry Teru... Although, I am definitely fine with him not dying!!! He is kind of an interesting eccentric, weird, kind of funny guy with some charm to him. It's interesting that he's The Funny one while also being the realist at the same time, plus him becoming more hypocritical and selfish the more the game goes on it makes him appear more grounded. I do like that he has the guts to display his interest in fashion even if the fashion is "questionable." Though I feel like this desire to express himself knowing it's "questionable" and unique is used to his advantage to stand out. So if anything, it almost appears as if he has this constant need to stand out more than it being an example of confidence. Why to do this— why do he prioritize standing out? Most likely because he's conditioned to most of his life revolving about selling something— he travels for something to be sold, his father (a figure he's dependent on) sells, and he's been taught for something to sell you need to stand out (his father even suggested the hairstyle, because he claims standing out leads to more money). In fact, most of his memory involve something to be sold (he want to be memorized to sell goods, and he mainly memorize when goods are involved).

It's interesting too since most of his identity is dependent on him standing out because his identity is dependent on selling something and being useful. It's kind of sadder when I think about it more- he reduces himself to being a "resource" and something useful to an extent, rejecting his humanity to an extent. Other than being in a life or death situation, him not being useful and a "resource" would heavily to tie him breaking, because of his identity literally depending on those things. This ties to what I like about how he's portrayed in the game; which is how even when he wants to be remembered to sell something, to be useful, and to be a resource, it's not what he's remembered by. He's remembered by his personality, all what makes him charming and all the flaws to him. I think for his character it's... good for him to have his dumb moments and not always be useful, because it's good that he's allowed to have his identity to not be dependent on something he's conditioned by, which is a harmful thing.

Other than that, what's one of the most odd thing to me is his relationship with his father. I mean like, this guy sleeps in bed with his father, typically unusual for a teen/young adult who values privacy (which is very important at that age range), it's definitely not just a "close relationship with his father" as what some people frame it as, its more like dependence. His mother's fate is unknown, but it could be a good assumption that he's dependent on his father because he doesn't want to lose him too? This could also connect to why he ties himself to goods and further support his identity revolving around things being sold since while losing something, you gain something. As a bonus thing, he won't have to worry about goods (objects) being sold, because he'll have less of an attachment to losing them since he's conditioned to it just being business after all.

He's been caught in the capitalism beams.

Akane Taira (Like) ― Right off the bat, I can say didn't expect her to be more expressive with her concerns and disagreements, more blunt, more expressive with her negative emotions, more open with interrupting the trials, and more open with the idea of smacking people. Those are interesting traits of her that you wouldn't really expect in a maid, but when you know the extra lore of the game and that she's surrounded by others who will allow her to express herself more, it makes sense. Although stuck in a passive role, she's actually pretty good at bringing guidance to others, which is probably one of the best traits of hers. She's such a warm character that turns out to be tragic, obsessive, more stoic, colder, and numb as a defense from all she's been through. I'd say this behavior is more presented when we get flashbacks of her, and it's only not too presented in the main game because of some memories she's lost.

The twist of her being an ultimate despair was wayyy more unexpecting than Yuki being one. Yet it's a twist that is completely understandable- with this despair, she attempts to romanticize the role of being a dehumanized specimen than being human, in order to cope with hiding the many parts of her, the horrid treatment she goes through, being used, and with life in general. Almost, she twists dehumanization as her "freedom" because she "reclaims" it as her own. This despair fails at giving her true happiness in the end, as her being dehumanized contributes to her trauma and she still needs to hide parts of her self to navigate the despair world; and the attempts at feeling more "alive" through putting others in danger and/or mimicking others (to an extent; like mimicking Junko & Monokuma's mannerisms + energy) doesn't help the issue of not being able to reclaim her own livelihood and happiness.

Mikako Kurokawa (Slightly Like) ― Though we didn't see too much of her traits and her full extent of self expression because it's canonically limited (which is well, okay I guess...), she is shown to be empathetic and analytical—which is one of my favorite parts about her character. Her determination is admirable, even when she feels so much pain she has shown that she is willing to go out to help others, act as a contributor, and tries to tell more about the lore of the game. She's a fighter at heart, and I feel like it's an underappreciated part of her. I do like how her talent is more of a metaphor than a profession itself, as she analyzes the truth of people's character or their "inner demons" (as the wiki puts it). Her talkative side was very revealing of her and give you more insight to her other than that she's talkative. With her background full of trauma and abandonment, yet full of characters who adopt her into a family, we can see this influencing her friendly & talkative behavior in the flashbacks. It's a beautiful thing that she was influenced so positively and decided to give that positivity to others :)

Kinji Uehara (Slightly Like) ― I was really pleased that there's a religious character that doesn't force their beliefs onto others, and is more open-minded about other people's religions or the lack of beliefs. He faced abandonment as a child then was adopted, most definitely influencing his love for giving to others (especially children) and that's such a great part of him. It's genuinely such a difficult thing that he felt like he had no other options to kill just to free children who were probably dead. It's an interesting thing, with him acting out in interest of freeing others while also with some selfishness as well, although he has kind intentions he's definitely not the most innocent (although yeah, I can understand his selfishness since he felt like he hardly had any other choice). He's a reserved, king of awkward guy and that's something quite endearing to me and at times funny. It seems as if he's always been put into adult-like roles throughout his life, by constantly watching and caring for the children. Other than appearing "more mature" than most of the cast, he does seem to have more experience comparing to the most of the cast, as he travels and tend to many personalities (because he cares for many children. Which means he is open to more experience and lessons than the rest of the cast, and can also explain why he's open-minded. Yeah, I think he's pretty decent.

Kizuna Tomori (Almost Neutral) ― She's an interesting character, not only she's very self aware of all her wrongdoings, but she observes what the world value about women & girls to use it to her advantage. She gains power and attempts to fulfill her psychological needs by "reclaiming" the perspectives forced onto her—the perspectives that only value and acknowledge her conventional attractiveness over intelligence. Now, as much as its portrayed as if she's irredeemable and to an extent "faking" her loneliness, the FTEs shows her loneliness. I do think she has the potential to redeem herself, it's just that the killing game wasn't a good place for her to do that.

Ayame Hatano (Almost Neutral) ― I gotta be honest, she was one of those almost-forgettable characters to me. Though I really do love that there was an emotional connection so impactful to her, that it heavily influenced the her killing someone- and to mention, some selfishness also influenced her. She's definitely not a saint. She's also more stoic, awkward and blunt at times, yet in the end of the day, she does have some kind intentions and those are all the things cool about her.

Satsuki Iranami (Almost Neutral) ― Her appearing so detached about the killing game was one of the worst and best traits of her, though yeah I get it, her funny detachment moments was a coping mechanism and an attempt at making others cope with the situation all at once. Although not the most remarkable character to me (and is more closer to being mediocre) she's another who is considerate of others. She's one of the characters with the most purest intentions out of anyone else. I also do enjoy her unpredictability, and I have to say, I do wish that she was more expanded on. She had her wise moment in Chapter 4, yet this "wisdom" trait is never expanded on, like ever, and it appears that it's intentionally said by her in order for her death to have more impact... so it feels more "random" than a trait of her, which is a little disappointing to me.

Kakeru Yamaguchi (Almost Neutral) ― Good god his character is just so disappointing, and it's all thanks to the developer limiting themself because he thought 4 "smart supportive characters" would be too much... despite the fact being a lawyer can be many things. I do like that he shows his confidence in the trials (even in a way that's more obnoxious), because lawyers depend on how they appear and say stuff than actually depending on the truth, which is what some people just don't get. Wolfgang is a better executed example of a lawyer not being stuck in the "smart supportive character" role. Although he's nice, willing to sacrifice himself for the sake of others, and that's sweet.

Kiyoka Maki (Almost Neutral) ― I'm sorry man but like she's one of the top characters that were very forgettable to me. She's sweet, supportive, wishes to be a normal girl, and that's really all say that I can say about her. I like that she's the more sweet & sociable type, and I have to say it's interesting that she attempts at getting others to cope with the situation they're in while also appearing ignorant of the situation in the process.

Yuki Maeda/Utsuro (Almost Neutral) ― He's okay I guess. I do like that the game shows him slowly and slowly building up the constant despair he's feeling to the point he chooses the "despair route" in canon, which was almost an expecting choice while managing to be impactful in a bitter way. He's (for the most part) an average guy and other than his whole lore—which I guess you can argue its Utsuro's lore since Yuki and Utsuro are considered seperate identities—Yuki is kind of good when it comes to supporting other's emotions, which isn't the most "average guy" thing ever. Even when Yuki chooses despair, Yuki also chooses hope, which is an interesting thing showing how strong-willed he can be. Also, him considering Mitch a "friend" was pretty annoying of him, even knowing what Mitch did... *eye roll*.

I find Utsuro interesting and his background neat. The way he was dehumanized in life also lead him to the person he is now. Despite all the selfishness and cruelty and dehumanizing others, he does slightly care about others. I like that the "bigger" mastermind ended up with some depth to him, and he wasn't painted as completely evil. I do want to say that prefer the "luck" thing being more ambiguous than an actual thing that exists in canon.

Yamato Kisaragi (Neutral) ― Good god this man is so fucking plain. He was the important character I guess. Which I mean, I'd prefer Mikako having more importance over him, but it's cool I guess. I wish his character would've been... expanded more. He doesn't give as much impact as the story wants me to.

Haruhiko Kobashikawa (Dislike) ― Him invading a space for women solely to sexualize them and then bringing up a DEAD woman's name when talking about peeking on the girls having a bath together killed him for me. People like to downplay this stuff, but I really don't think people should be desensitized to that kind of stuff. He appears aware that he shouldn't really be doing this shit, which makes it worse to me. Other than that, I did find him funny at times. It also was almost ridiculous how he was so quick to decide that Satsuki was his lover and stuff, I'm just going to think that he had a small crush on her and them the memories made it even bigger, I guess. Mans risked it all and that's okay I guess. Also, the way he wanted to suggest doing some creep type shit while he had a girlfriend in the flashbacks. while you had a GIRLFRIEND??? Good god...

Tsurugi Kinjo (Dislike) ― As much as he's a decent antagonist... his character in general... he just seems normal? Which isn't a bad thing that he reflects what's "normal", but I kind of get annoyed with people comparing him to Nagito, because he's kind of a normal cop. Dragging and adding to his words to feel important while expressing that he don't want to improve the system and he'll use his authority to make no actual good progress... manipulating people by using his authority (his "duty to protect everyone", his judgement as a cop) to cause more division while also causing distrust in the process because he claims "if you don't believe in him you're a criminal.........." Then he use people's need to to not be divided as an advantage to trap people in his clutches even if the people technically don't fully believe him. Cop stuff. Of course he'd fall into his mindset at the end because he was never fully out of it in the first place and he's been conditioned at a young age... and I mean, let's be honest, a lot of people in real life will tolerate the things he does as a cop (ex: manipulation) and his mindset. Thus it'll encourage him to continue... being him. I don't hate him but I sure do like to tease him. Decent written character though, I'll say that. I just don't like his character that much.

Mitsuhiro Higa (Dislike) ― There's not much to him. I mean he's a cocky ass and I'm definitely sure that he feels supported by the power he has due to fame to act terrible. He had his nice moments in the flashbacks but I mean. Terrible people can still be nice sometimes. I don't hate him though, and even I dislike him while not giving much that much thought.

THATS IT. I'M FINALLY FUCKING DONE!!! goddamn this took long.

[rageagainsttheapathy]

MERLIN STRANGER THINGS STEDDIE AU

Prince Steve who starts off arrogant and prattish because of his strict father and asshole noble friends, but cares deeply for his people and wants more than anything to be a good ruler, who makes constant fun of Eddie as his new manservant but it gets fonder and fonder as time goes on and in the end can’t imagine living without him.

Newly arrived warlock Eddie who was born with magic and gets sent to live with his Uncle Wayne in Camelot in the hopes that he can learn to control his gifts and find his place away from the small village he grew up in, only to end up in the service of the Worst Man Ever ™️ who is loud and demanding and privileged and… strong, and kind of caring, he guesses, and also protected him that one time and tries to cheer him up in this really emotionally stunted but genuine kind of way and - no he does not like him!

Lady Nancy, the King’s ward who is furious at the injustice she sees throughout the kingdom, who champions druids and magic users and isn’t afraid to confront Steve about his worst tendencies. (No Evil! Nancy in this au - she has an arc that involves her stepping close to vengeance, because she’s tired of being nice and wants so badly to go apeshit, but in the end is saved from that path by the power of friendship and this Big Sword she found) she ends up advisor to the throne once King Jackass finally dies, and forces Steve to promote Robin to the same position, even though Steve planned to do exactly that anyway, that’s his Best Friend, Nancy, what do you take him for?

Maidservant Robin who becomes fast friends with Eddie when he first arrives, who is fiercely loyal to Lady Nancy and constantly annoyed with Steve - right up until they start spending time together and save each other’s lives and there’s a brief moment when Steve thinks that he’s in love with her because she’s pretty and clever and isn’t afraid to yell at him but they very quickly realise that they’re better as friends, not least because Robin is totally in love with Nancy.

Jonathan as a knight, who appears and saves the day and also kicks Steve’s ass on the training field, who protects Eddie when he finds out his secret and then goes off to do his ‘lone wolf’ thing à là Lancelot

Argyle as a Druid who hangs around outside Camelot and gives cryptic but helpful advice and also takes in wounded travellers and nurses them back to health (cough, Jonathan, cough) who later helps Eddie to accept the hard parts of being destined for something.

All the kids are there too, of course, but I haven’t decided what I want them to be and Hopper should be a Leon-Esque figure who starts of a distant and stoic knight of the Old Guard but slowly becomes closer to the main group, acting as a father figure and also occasionally going Beserker mode in battle because why not

Joyce gets to be a whole new character! Because there is a tragic lack of women in Merlin canon who show up for more than one episode. Something something convoluted side plot in which she shows up in Camelot looking for her missing eldest son who ran away to be a knight, cue Steve sending Hopper, his most mature and loyal knight to accompany her on her quest, during which they encounter multiple obstacles, engage in Shenanigans, and fall in love, much to the horror of Jonathan who has to watch them kissing after they slay the Generic Magical Beast of the week

[merlincersei]

Merlin BBC UK TV Show - A Psychological Analysis Series Part 10

Analyzing Gwen’s Character In Season 1

I will be doing so by describing her interaction with other characters. I truly believe this will help shed some light on her personality traits.

Her Interaction With Merlin:

It would not be a far fetched assumption to state Gwen likes Merlin.

We see evidence of this right from Season 1 Episode 1.

During their first meeting, she states the difference between Merlin and Arthur by saying everyone thought Merlin was a hero for standing up to Arthur.

In the banquet scene in Season 1 Episode 1, she talks with Merlin and states two contradictory messages at the same time. One message is “I like you” (she blurts it out before realizing what she said), and the other is basically taking this statement back (pretending that she was speaking in general terms).

If you watch her words and body language here, and compare it with some cases where she talks with Lancelot and Arthur, it’s easy to draw parallels between them .Here Gwen says that she likes men that, contrary to Arthur, are more normal.

Her Interaction With Lancelot:

A copy of that conversation with Merlin happens with Lancelot, when Gwen is measuring him. She says, “We need men like you,” only to correct herself and explain that she wasn’t talking of her personally but of Camelot. Coincidentally, she uses almost the same phrase when Arthur is unconscious in Season 1 Episode 13, “For the love of Camelot, you have to live!”

Camelot in her mind is not only of nobles, but includes commoners. You probably noticed that she mentions commoners and normal people often. Why is this important? Because Gwen is very susceptible to the social differences between her and other main characters. Her low self-esteem is evident when she compares herself to Morgana, Arthur, Lancelot and even Nimueh. In other words, she’s no lady (she’s unfit), so she hides her desires behind Camelot’s needs. She likes more normal men because she thinks she is a normal woman.

In Season 1 Episode 5, we have another recreation of the banquet scene from Season 1 Episode 1. Merlin and Gwen watch Arthur and Lancelot. When Merlin asks her whom of the two she would prefer, Gwen refuses to answer.

Not because she doesn’t like any of them (she doesn’t deny liking them) rather, she doesn’t answer because as a servant she will never have the opportunity to choose. She’s unworthy and unfit. Merlin’s remark that Gwen wouldn’t recognize her type of man even if she were standing next to her (and then Gwen’s reaction to it) show how in her mind there are not two, but three candidates in her mind.

Her attitude toward Lancelot after he’s been knighted changes; she is burdened with preconceptions of her (social) inferiority.

Later, when Lancelot is released from the prison (and has lost his position as the socially privileged knight), she can openly tell him that she has never seen a man like him, and she even begs him not to go.

Right before the end of that episode, Gwen is staring trough Morgana’s window, watching the Lancelot leaving. (The creators of the series are clearly playing with the spectator’s knowledge of Arthurian legends here.)

Her Interaction With Arthur:

Similarly Gwen is attracted to Arthur, but she feels she is not entitled to.

She rarely dares confront Arthur openly until Season 1 Episode 10 maybe for the first time. She scolds Arthur for scorning ‘the commoners’ food,’ and in the familiar pattern, she takes her words back right away, apologizing

In previous episodes, we saw Gwen mocking Arthur behind his back, together with Morgana. So it’s a surprise that she suddenly shows this blind faith in Arthur and his capabilities. One reason for the change might be Merlin.

The other reason is that she’s always been attracted to Arthur. In Season 1 Episode 9 during Arthur’s coronation, Gwen says that Merlin must be proud of Arthur. When Merlin denies, Gwen insists. It’s possible that she’s guessed Merlin’s mind, or that she simply projected her feelings onto him (and Merlin’s and her emotions for Arthur just happen to overlap).

So how do we describe Gwen ?

She is an ordinary girl with common traits and emotional depth. She doesn’t have any glaring flaw (in that she’s a Mary Sue ). She doesn’t have any particular ability and is not stunning in the looks department either. I’m not talking about the actress but about the character (compare men’s reaction to her and their reaction to Morgana).

She doesn’t allow herself normal feelings ( maybe she’s simply not capable of it) even when her father is killed. For example, Merlin is surprised at how well she is accepting the whole situation. Sure, she is crushed, but she doesn’t even think of resenting Arthur (despite him being involved in her father’s death) or to take revenge on Uther. (We can say Arthur represents the idealized man (father) for her, but more of it later).

In Season 1 Episode 12, Merlin is facing a difficult moral dilemma (to kill Uther or not), yet for Gwen (who would be entitled to such thoughts), there’s no dilemma – killing is wrong. She’s indignant at the very idea.

Her simplistic worldview is shown for example in Season 1 Episode 4, when Merlin needs a magical antidote to survive. Another extreme situation where Merlin’s life is at stake. Gwen works under the imposed premise of magic being wrong. In the end, Gaius has to find a pretext to send her away and get things done.

Where Merlin and Arthur show internal conflict, she’s devoid of any. Her world seems a simple and a happy-go-lucky one, even when she faces incredibly unpleasant events.

Gwen represents a conundrum. In critical situations, we could see Gwen as a surprisingly mature and selfless person, or we could see her as a surprisingly shallow one.

She has a rather black and white view of the world in conjunction with the desire to appease. She follows a few simple guidelines of what is right and wrong and that prevents her from having any major internal dilemmas or strives. Both Merlin and Arthur are drawn to her for this reason.

In Freudian terms, I would say Gwen is stuck in her oral phase. (Her constant need to be watched over and rescued by others shows support for this claim. Then the badly controlled lust for every cute boy she meets indicates she’s not very selective when it comes to fulfilling her needs. It’s fulfilling them that matters.

In Season 1 Episode 12, when she loses her biological father and Arthur promises to take care of her, she accepts Arthur as a surrogate (idealized) father. In other words, she doesn’t resolve her Electra conflict. She doesn’t proceed into the stage where she rejects the attraction toward her father (or fatherly figures) in favor of identifying with the parent of the same sex. And funny enough, her mother is missing (presumed dead).

Her view of Arthur as the idealized father is constantly hinted.

Arthur is a prince, and as such an authority she rarely defies. She looks at Arthur in an idealized way (as a savior/hero). She displays her blind faith into Arthur’s capabilities to protect Camelot (in other words herself) . Refer Season 1 Episodes 10, 11, and 13, for example.

In Season 1 Episode 13, where she nurses Arthur her behavior shows submission as she claims to do it for the sake of Camelot.

Even the kiss she gives Arthur on his hand can be seen as a kiss that consolidates her position as servant.

Throughout human history, many types of kisses are known. Their social functions were different and discernable based on the body part that was kissed in relation to the social status of the kissers.

The kiss as a symbol of a sexual act is not the only possible kiss. Usually, lower the position of the subject/giver, the farther the kiss is from the face. In extreme cases, the kiss is given on the hem of the robe, the feet, or the ground next to the feet.

In wake of Gwen’s libido, I’d say her kiss is in part of a sexual nature, especially because later, when Arthur is awake, she denies (in her usual fashion) having said or done anything.

The bottom line is I do think Gwen has a crush on Merlin, but not Merlin alone. Her libido is quite unfocused on this stage. Admittedly it’s still more focused on Merlin than on others because Merlin is in ‘her league,’ a servant like her so she can identify more easily with him. At the same time she admires him even more because he doesn’t act as a servant. And if another servant can be so courageous, maybe so can she.

Even Merlin, despite being a servant just like her, is bolder and more self-assured (that’s why she approached him in first place). I’d say Gwen sees every young man as a potential lover, and the ones who recognizes her as a woman (i.e. a sexual mate) will get her cough Lancelot cough Arthur cough