#i have insomnia and adhd and was saying I drink coffee at night and the psychiatrist is just like ‘ well coffee has caffeine’

[iwatcheditbegin]

It’s so frustrating when doctors refuse to believe you. Or gaslight you about how your own body is. No degree in the world gives you the lived experiences someone is having

[thesmollestsnek]

I’ve seen a lot of fics n headcanons where Dick Grayson has adhd, and I see you. But also. Consider: Tim Drake having (undiagnosed) adhd. As a certified adhd bitch myself, I have A Lot to say about this, so more under the cut.

Before we get into it, just a quick disclaimer: pretty much all of my dc knowledge is from fandom osmosis, so. If you see something that’s ooc or contradicts canon no you didn’t. Now with that out of the way, on to the main event!

Okay, so! First of all, let’s start at the very beginning. That’s right, I’m talking about Tim Drake’s “night photography”! Now I’m not gonna say neurotypical kids don’t get up to some dumb ass shit when left unsupervised for long periods of time, because they absolutely do. But. The complete disregard for the many, many dangers a young child alone in Gotham at night would face is still notable. And he doesn’t just ignore danger - he runs straight at it. That shows an impressive lack of impulse control, and inability to factor future consequences into current decisions, both of which are hallmarks of adhd. Plus, hyperfixation kinda… changes? How you perceive things. So if Tim was hyperfixated on getting the perfect shot whenever a major crime/fight happened near him, he may not have processed that he was danger at all during the part most likely to scare a neurotypical child away.

Next, we have the coffee. Yes, I know the coffee thing is super overblown by the fandom and not really supported by canon but ssshshhhhhh my world my rules Tim drinks lots of coffee. Now, this one’s kinda obvious, but caffeine is a stimulant and surprise surprise so are most adhd meds. I have seen firsthand how ppl with undiagnosed adhd will mainline caffeine as a form of self medication, whether they’re aware of it or not. Some people use soda or energy drinks, but coffee’s also a really popular choice for this kinda thing. So not only is it completely plausible for someone with undiagnosed adhd to self medicate by drinking a shitton of coffee, it’s extremely common.

Next up! We have the insomnia. Which, again, I think might be played up a lot in fic? But this is my world and you’re reading in it, so. Tim’s an insomniac. This is one of the less well known symptoms of adhd, but again I speak from firsthand experience when I say it’s a big one. Insomnia is extremely common among ppl with adhd, for a couple reasons. One is time blindness, which I’ll come back to in the next point. But also? It’s just really hard to turn your brain off. And if a large portion of Tim’s brain space is being devoted to casework, guess what. That inability to turn one’s brain off will manifest as late night case solving blitzes. Not to mention that hyperfixation, again, changes the way you perceive things. When I hyperfixate on something I often lose hours at a time, and bodily needs like hunger, tiredness, the bathroom, etc aren’t just unimportant they straight up don’t register. With the number of times I’ve come out of a hyperfocus to realize that I have a dehydration headache that’s been brewing for at least an hour, or have completely skipped a major meal, or desperately need to pee, I can 100% believe Tim not noticing any sleep deprivation symptoms until he’s finished whatever he was working on. And I, again, speak from experience when I say that if you happen to hyperfixate at something at the wrong time of night you will be staying up way later than is reasonable. Which brings me to my next point of…

Time blindness! My most favoritist thing in the whole wide world! (/sarcasm) This shit can and absolutely will fuck up your ability to be a functioning human if you let it. Having no internal clock causes more problems than the obvious losing track of time. It means your appetite is sporadic at best and you could very easily forget to eat. It means your sleep schedule has a tendency to just disintegrate if you don’t keep on it. It means being completely dependent on external clocks to know how long things are/should be taking, even for stupid shit like cooking food or brushing your teeth. It means that if you don’t set an alarm for something there is a very real possibility that something isn’t happening no matter how much you want or need it to. In short, it completely fucks up your ability to care for yourself without a lot of external regimented support. Now, who does that remind you of? Which member of the batfamily is known for neglecting his own health? I may not read many comics but the sheer number of “Tim Drake subsists solely on coffee and spite” jokes on ao3 and tumblr is very telling.

His brains. Tim is very, very smart. Have you ever heard the phrase “twice exceptional?” It describes Tim Drake to a t. Plus, I’m living proof of how you can be both smart of brain and dumb of ass. This may be more of a “my family who just so happens to consist entirely of twice exceptional adhd dumbasses” thing than something most ppl with adhd experience, but. You can be really smart and incredible at putting together complex plans, both ahead of time and on the fly, and still have. No common sense whatsoever. Which seems to be a lot of Tim’s characterization: incredibly smart while simultaneously being a complete dumbass. So make of that what you will.

And most compellingly? I think it’s funny. This kid is brothers with Dick Grayson and best friends with Bart Allen and especially next to those two people would never expect Tim to be the one with the quote unquote “cant sit still disorder”. Yknow what? Let’s take this a step further. Let’s make Bart autistic. (I don’t know enough about the flash family to say how accurate this is but for the sake of the joke let’s say he is). People see Impulse standing next to Red Robin and they think they know which one is adhd and which is autistic and they are Wrong. Tim n Bart are Completely unaware of this but the rest of their team finds it hilarious. There’s probably at least one running joke about it.

[slow-drowned-angels]

Related to the prior post

I always hear older adults say shit like “aw I remember when I was a college student and was able to pull all-nighters without a problem!” and like hear from peers who semi-regularly skip nights of sleep.

How the fuck. What.

I can’t do caffeine* so maybe that’s part of it? I think I would simply pass away if I tried to pull an all-nighter; I’ve stayed up until around 4am in high school before for sleep overs (and bad media decisions) and it’s always been Horrible afterwards. I don’t trust myself to do addition the morning after 6 hours of sleep… how do people do homework after zero sleep….

I understand if it’s a chronic health thing that prevents sleep. Like you can’t sleep for whatever reason (insomnia, pain, etc) and so you just deal with being sleep-deprived all the time. I’m still impressed that y’all are Doing Shit While Sleep Deprived but I get that that’s not something you can easily avoid.

But choosing to do so is so strange… and it’s so normalized… I’m the weird one for doing my best to get 8-9 hours a night. I don’t get it… go to sleep…

——

*Caffeine acts weirdly for me. I usually only drink tea. I’ll feel slightly more awake, but in a more distractible/unfocused/anxious way (sometimes it’s not too bad and it’s worth the awakeness or enjoyment of tea). If I have too much, I get kinda dissociated? And then if I have too much after 12pm, it’ll fuck up my sleep, like I’ll still be really tired but I just Can’t Sleep, like I’m the subject of a horrible no-sleep curse. “Too much” is in the realm of half a cup of black tea at 4pm severely impacting my sleep at 2am.

I know that ADHD does weird shit with caffeine, but this doesn’t match that (also don’t think I have ADHD?) so I am genuinely curious if this is just What Coffee Does To A Random Selection of People or if it’s connected to something else?

[starryskiesahead]

Xolga and Mr. Toko headcanon dump

This is gonna be kinda long...

Xolga drinks his coffee pure black.

Mr. Toko bought a bunch of keychains from somewhere as "souvenirs".

Both boys have trouble sleeping, Xolga because of insomnia and Mr. Toko because of PTSD and/or nightmares...

Whenever Mr. Toko has a nightmare he goes to cuddle Xolga. Xolga doesn't like being hugged but he can tolerate it for a bit just so Toko feels safe and has sweet dreams in his sleep that night.

Xolga listens to the Shadow the Hedgehog soundtrack. This is canon and I will not accept debate. /hj

Also Xolga does not like to sing. Mr. Toko will still drag him to karaoke anyway.

Xolga also hates to dance. Mr. Toko loves dancing, though he just mostly spins around messily in the air.

Mr. Toko once tried to stack 25 donuts on his head. He only got up to 15 before the donut tower fell (and he ate them all up)

Mr. Toko shows Xolga random things he finds funny on the internet. Xolga finds them stupid and strange but will still occasionally look at them with him.

Xolga's favorite colors are black, brown, and red.

Xolga's least favorite part of being a teddy bear is being so short. To remedy this sometimes he hangs on to Mr. Toko lifting him up in the air, though not when he's flying super fast or he'll get sick/dizzy.

Mr Toko has ADHD and PTSD

Xolga can cook good enough, it's nothing special but still decent. Mr. Toko on the other hand? He'll burn down a kitchen if he gets close, or make a mess with various condiments, and put sprinkles on everything (regardless of whether said food even fits with sprinkles).

Xolga has an extreme aversion to alcohol due to his childhood trauma of having to deal with his mom's drinking problem. He'll basically always say no to an alcoholic drink. He's probably never even really drunk anything with booze in it.

If Mr. Toko sees a musical instrument he immediately has the urge to play it.

Xolga bought Toko a water gun for his birthday once

Xolga sometimes goes to check up on his family, though his mom and dad still don't know he's a teddybear now. Kai is the only one who knows...

They may be weird lil creatures now but Xolga always goes out of his way to get gifts and a cake for Tom on his birthday.

Mr. Toko collects stickers and other random things from different worlds as momentos from their adventure sometimes. He now has a bag where he puts them all.

Mr. Toko got a bit better at art overtime - his favorite thing to draw though is him with his friends, and rainbows.

Xolga also started a journal, like how Mr Toko has his diary. Xolga doesn't draw pictures in his journal, though, he just writes down the events that happen to him.

Though Xolga sometimes wishes he was human again, he knows that's likely never gonna happen, and as much as the kid annoys him, he's glad he met Mr. Toko because he was his first ever friend

Mr. Toko is also happy to have Xolga with him, he misses his friends Blake and Sam of course but he's glad to have Xolga with him on their adventures

They still talk to some of the friends they've made in other worlds to catch up from time to time, and their adventure through time and space continues, an endless journey of solving mysteries, helping other people with their problems, and discovering all the wonders life has to offer. <3

[fleuresdumonde]

I’ve been seriously into molasses lately. Weird sentence, I know. I’m one beer drunk and for a nerd my size it’s actually worth 2.

:readmore:

My story all started years ago when I was introduced to caffeine by social pressure in a government facility I would do viral analysis for as part of an internship (Paid. Minimal wages but paid nonetheless)

Before, I had some coffee there and then but the bitterness was too much for my sugar sweet tastes and, while sleep deprived, the jitters where inconveniencing enough I didn’t take more then a cup a month. At this lab, peoples whose commute took them close to the local Tim’s or McDonald were in charge of getting coffee for the rest of the crew and in thanks they would get more then the price of the coffee for the trouble.

The routines was well oiled, the group was already knit and as a socially awkward college student my only in was to pretend to love coffee as well. (Maybe it wasn’t the only way but I suck at making conversations)

So, I took one coffee everyday for 4 months. The habits of taking coffee every morning was born out of social need to bond with coworkers. Those 15 min before work making small talks. Exchanging moneys and informations about upcoming sales were enough social interactions to make me feel like I would be getting a good grade in work interactions. Something possible and totally normal to want to archive.

I associated the taste of coffee and bitter sweet morning conversations in my brain and couldn’t shake off the caffeine addiction for years. Sometime going into energy drinks territory when the accoutumance would kick in (Monster is the best one and it’s an hill I would die on) Sometime doing 2 weeks “purges” to shake it off and start back with one coffee a day.

Coffee, teas and warm drinks are a piece of human warmth that I could get anytime without having to talk to anyone and it carried me through many sleepless night.

But insomnia always been a genetic risk for me and I soon as I started my coffee breaks I started sleeping less and less.

I had to cut back on coffee for my own good recently but the thing peoples don’t say enough about breaking addictions is that habits are what make us well adjusted humans.

We crave regulars patterns in our lives and people that struggle with establishing them naturally can rely on addictive behaviour to retain normalcy and structure in their life. I know less then a handful of smokers who are not autistic and/or have ADHD. It’s one of the structure you can crave into your brain. It’s so tempting if only to be normal for 15 min every morning.

Where was I going with this? I think I was just going to share that one teaspoon of blackstrap molasses into a cup of boiling water and a cloud of milk taste almost exactly like coffee with a touch of sugar! It’s so good! I’ve been taking it two times a day! I also tried it cold and with some cacao it ’s very good! I don’t know if I’m just craving iron and metallic tastes. But I’m not anemic and my hemoglobin is usually very high for someone AFAB so I don’t think it is? It’s not very bitter but bitter enough to replace coffee. Try it. Y’all deserve it. Bring blackstrap molasses into ur home and ur hearts.

I need to google how to add “read more” in mobile. Didn’t mean to overshare this much. It’s was a stout craft beer if anyone curious

TLDR. I started drinking blackstrap molasses latte instead of coffee to help me overcome the caffeine addiction plaguing my sleep schedule. That’s it. I’m just drunk and wanted to share

[soft-boi-eli]

Hello Hello!

I just wanted to say I love your fics!

ALSO!

Could I request a CC!SBI X Gn! Insomniac Reader! Where the reader is an insomniac (Obviously-) but is somehow a pro at MC!

Like they are basically god at the game! They also REALLY enjoy horror games! They don’t get scared easily and LOVE horror movies! They basically love anything horror/creepy-

ANYWAYS!!

The reader lives off of ramen and Monster energy drinks (For fun-)! They have a Twitch (Which has about 18 mil followers and 14 mil subs!) and a YouTube channel (Which has 20 mil followers!)

They mainly play horror games (Obviously-) and MC!

You can do headcanons or scenarios/images with the SBI! Maybe like playing a horror game together or MC? OR! Maybe some things they do together? Or when they meet up? Or-to many ideas Nightmare-

ANYWAYS!

I don’t really care! And don’t worry about taking too long on it!

ALSO!

Maybe we could be friends? Only if you want too!

Remember to eat, drink, and get enough sleep!

<3

Yes. I lovesthese ideas and I'm gonna choose headcannons due to they are a bit easierfor me to write.

And yes I'm perfectly fine with being your friend! I'm actually happy to make friends on this app so yeah!

Pronouns:nonbinary

Tw: cussing. Insomia, mentions of horror movies. Mention of horror games. Fluff.

SBI with a horror streamer friend head cannons.

*Ahem* tommy wanted to paly a game with you so you choose a game that didn't look like horror until the middle. He screamed at the jump scare and it made both of your chats so happy.

When phil decides to play with you there is literally a silence after a jump scare. Everyone thought he had a heart attack and honestly so did you until he spoke up about accidently hitting his mute button when he jumped.

Wilbur. He's a bit better then tommy but more scared then phil would be. Any little noise won't get him but when it starts to get noticeable the noiseless to him. The jump scare, he'd fall out of his seat and stay on the ground for a bit. You ask if he's good and he literally doesn't answer. He's dead. You killed him. Congrats.

Techno. He'd handle them a bit better then everyone else. Not as good as you but heisnt very paranoid. He literally runs at the noises trying to get jumpscared. While you run after him telling him to stop because if he doesn't then you'd lose and die. And technoblade never dies.

If you all play together both tommy and wilbur pussy out. Techno last the longest and phil the second longest. While you remain the ruler of horror games.

Now how you all met was dream invited you to the dream smp to add to the chaos. Needless to say it got extremely chaotic due to you being on almost 24 hours. You first ran into techno. He seemed confused and skeptical.

You both found eachothers love for potatoes. You set up camp quote close to techno but not too close.

Phil popped in when he needed something for a build and noticed a new name. Talked to you in chat and asked to join your VC. You both found each other talking for a bit.

Wilbur was next. Wilbur got curious over the new person and just hoppedinto the same VC as you techno and phil. He was quick to realize that you were a famous youtuber. Mainly for your horror videos and your extreme Parkcore skills.

In minecraft that is.

Tommy noticing that all of you were in the same VC joined in with shouting. He was low key jealous that everyone was obsessed with you. Then he saw why.

You literally cracked jokes at his shouting.

"Is that an angry pomeranian? Nah nah. It's an angry child. Even better an angry blonde!" - you.

He was shocked and immediately started joking and laughing with you. He wasn't fully angry for long.

Now about your diet. When they heard that you had only eaten ramen and drank angry drinks they were concerned. You lived quite close to techno so when you guys met up he was shocked that you looked as healthy as you did.

He hated the fact that you literally didn't eat anything else.

You told him occasionally you have something other then ramen but you were just too lazy to really cook anything and that you didn't feel like burning the house down.

One month phil, tommy, wilbur, and techno decided to organize a month long sleep over so that they could celebrate your birthday. Phil being quote the father figure cooked different, but easy dinners every night just so you didn't eat only ramen that day.

When they actually arrived though you got a text from Phil asking about your address in your dms. Not think much of it you just sent him your location.

You were going to take a small nap. Just to bost your energy before you went and streamed later that night.

As you were sleeping there was a car heading to your house.

Phil, wilbur, tommy, and techno were all just existing in the car. And when they arrived to your house they didn't expect to actually see a clean house.

You woke to a loud knock.

When you opened the door in your half dazed state you expected a package. But to see four people standing on your porch.

You nearly jumped out of your skin.

You were stuck there blinking at them.

Finally snapping out of it you let them in. Confused on why in the ever loving fuck they were here.

Phil explained they were here to celebrate your 21st birthday and they were here for a month.

You stared at them for a while. Confused on what to do since you haven't had people over in almost 2 years.

But you got use to it.

So when you got done streaming and smelled something other then ramen you were thrown off guard. Like what was that. I haven't smelled that in years.

But after the second day you got use to it too.

For your birthday phil literally made a feast.

Like he found your favorite food other then ramen and cooked it. With that he prepared everything you could dream of.

Your sleeping habits. Let's dig into those.

I'm in no place to talk as right now it's 3:05 in the morning. And here I am.

But when they are over they don't let you stay up till no 3-4 in the morning. They all know the importance of sleep.

But there are those nights where no once can sleep and it results in a late night stream. And streaming for hours none the less.

The amount of accidental all nighters everyone has pulled was immense. But that's what happens with jet lag, adhd, and insomnia.

Literally you get tired randomly. Sleep for only 3 hours. Wake up. Drink coffee, energy drinks, highly caffeinated tea. And don't sleep till late at night.

Pillow forts.

It's a must and it happens. Horror movies, pillow forts, and snacks. Like you all are in this massive fort, watching horror movies, one by one you all are falling asleep. You and techno were the last up due to technos active mind and your body not letting you sleep.

You two literally just vide there, changing the movies from horror to some silly animated movies, like how to train your dragon, frozen, Luca, and many others.

You two pull an all nighter and it's actually a bet to see how long anyone else takes to notice.

You bet an hour. Techno says all day.

You won. Philza notices the worse eye bags under both you and technos eyes and immediately starts scolding.

He is papa bird and he won't let anyone of his children neglect their needs.

"Did you even drink water at all? You guys should of been sleeping not binge watching horror movies all night!" -philza

You could only offer a smirk, along with a laugh.

"I think we did I just can't fully remember. Also we were watching animated films. Not horror. Surprised you didn't wake up to let it go." - you.

You turn to techno.

"You owe me 15 bucks pig boy!"-you again.

Handing you the money he rolls his eyes. "Yeha yeah. Rub it in." -techno.

Ah yeah they found a horror game that you were scared of surprisingly. It was actually surprisingly you hadn't played it yet.

Outlast.

You had been holding off that game until you finished your other one but here you were. Bored out of your mind.

So you decided fuck it.

That game teriffed the shit out of you. It was so good though.

When you screamed they all came rushing up due to the fact that you never scream.

They say you out of your chair, on the floor, blinking. They thought you were hurt.

But you sat up and looked at your computer.

"Damn. That was actually really good." When you looked behind you and found the boys all staring you smiled and waved.

"You need something?"-you

"You screamed. We heard a thud. We thought you fuckin died!" -tommy.

"No I'm alive. My soul almost divorced my body but it's still quite here."-you

That day made highlights.

The popular y/n actually got jump scared. The one person who never screamed at horror games screamed.

When they left you were sad yes but they were still your best friends. Ready to talk when ever you want.

Sometimes I think that you guys talk all through out the night. Them forgetting that you were actually in a different time zone.

Sometimes they pop into your streams, be it MC, horror, you just talking to your fans, or even the once in the blue moon, cheerful games.

They just pop in and start talking to you. And you talk back like they were there since the beginning.

Phil is now one of your moderators too. Along with tommy, wilbur, and techno. When they pop in they make sure no one picks on you.

And since you are now close to the SBI. You are now part of it.

You didn't choose the fans did. But they are your new family. No matter what.

Even if they disagree with your eating habit.

Or energy drink addiction.

Or insomnia.

Or you mainly playing horror games.

Or you basically living in your streaming room.

Or even the nearly 24 hour streams.

I could go on but I'm not gonna.

I'm tired. But I can sleep. 2 days and I get to have a tour of my new school.

And it took so long to finally get into it.

We have been going through a huge hassle even before school started to get me enrolled.

And then we had to get me into this program.

But now on Monday I get to go in. Get a tour. Then start either Tuesday or Wednesday.

Anyway hope you liked. It's now 3:50 and it's no proof read I'm sorry

[h0rnyshakespeare]

Pairing: Nico di Angelo x Will Solace

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 973

Warnings: None

A/N: Yes, I am a proud member of the Riordanverse fanbase :) this is something I wrote for my friend who lives for Solangelo caz it was their birthday and I know they stalk my account 👀

I also had a conversation with said friend about the Riordanverse characters' coffee/tea preference which inspired me to write this. If you want headcanons for the other characters on their preferred drink, lemme know! Also could someone suggest a title for this caz my brain is currently empty :/

Nico walked out of the Hades cabin, bleary-eyed and tired. He felt as if he did not sleep a wink the night before, which was highly possible considering his insomnia. Right now, all he needed was coffee to brace himself for all the energetic, ADHD demigods he would have to endure for the rest of the day. Especially one demigod in particular, who Nico referred to as his ‘significant annoyance’.

How a son of Hades – god of death and darkness (woohoo!) – and a son of Apollo – who was the literal SUN god – had gotten together, Nico did not know. All he knew was that it had happened, meaning that every day when he got up and out of his cabin, he was greeted by the cheery face of Will Solace.

While Nico secretly enjoyed seeing his boyfriend first thing in the morning (although if anyone asked, he would deny the fact), unlike Will, he was not a morning person, so handling the human form of positivity and sunshine needed a lot of energy, something Nico lacked not just in the morning, but throughout the day as well. So, when he had first found out that caffeine existed, he quickly turned into a coffee-addict, something Will had always chided him for.

Just like any other day, Will was waiting for him as he exited his cabin. “Hey babe,” he greeted Nico, smiling as if he were the most beautiful existing creature on the planet. With his messy bedhead and dark circles under his obsidian eyes however, Nico was not feeling very beautiful at the moment. He walked towards Will, who had his hand held out for Nico to hold, which he did, a slight blush gracing his pale cheeks which Will pretended not to see but caused him to grin wider.

“Sleep well?” he asked. “Ughhh coffee…” Nico mumbled in response, rubbing his eye with his free hand. Will chuckled and pulled him closer. “I told you you could sneak into my cabin whenever you wanted. Sleeping with someone you love is actually really good for your health and helps you sleep better.” “One, obviously I can’t sneak into your cabin because there are like, ten other people sharing it with you. And two, I don’t love you, I hate you, so it would actually be very bad for my health to sleep with you.” Nico was actually not lying about it being unhealthy though, as he knew he was as addicted to Will’s cuddles as he was to coffee, if not more. To sleep with him would probably send Nico into cardiac arrest with how much his heart would beat.

Will placed his hand on his chest in mock hurt. “You wound me, di Angelo. Anyway, you must be hungry. Let’s go eat breakfast, alright? You really gotta eat more. And please don’t drink coffee on an empty stomach, the caffeine will kill you one day.” Nico rolled his eyes. “You’ll be all the way over at the Apollo table, you can’t stop me.” “You forgot you have a doctor’s note,” Will smirked. Nico chose to ignore him. They walked in silence towards the dining pavilion for a while, before Will asked, “Why don’t you try drinking tea for a change?” Nico glared at him. “Will, I love you, but please for the love of gods, don’t try and get in the way of my relationship with coffee.” “I thought you were in a relationship with me??” Will pouted. “Nah, you’re just the side-chick. Sorry bud.” “Hey!”

They sat down at the Apollo table, Nico immediately making himself a black coffee. Will wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Why would you drink it black?” “‘Tis as dark as my soul,” Nico said in a dramatic whisper, to which Will rolled his eyes, sipping something out of a boba cup. Nico looked at it curiously. It was so… pink and pastelly. He chucked inwardly; his boyfriend was adorable. “So, what’re you having?” “Hm? Oh this?” Will said, gesturing to his drink. “It’s just a regular milk tea boba. You want?” Nico did want to try it, but he was still working on… what was it Will called? Ah yes, ‘effective communication.’ Plus, he had a reputation to keep. “Hell no, that looks way too… pink.” Will laughed. “That’s just the cup, it’s a cute colour though, isn’t it?” “I know it’s the cup,” Nico hissed. “I don’t want it.” “Well, if you say so,” his boyfriend replied, finishing the boba. “Mm, that was good.”

After breakfast, Will and Nico parted ways to go on about their daily camp routines. When evening arrived, the both of them met up near the lake, something they did everyday to spend time together. Will’s smile doubled when he saw his boyfriend sitting on the grassy bank. “Hey, I brought you something.” It was another boba cup. “Milk tea? I don’t drink the stuff, Will, coffee supremacy.” “Come on, we all know tea is better. And bubble tea is even better. Here, try it. I know you wanted to earlier.” Nico grumbled and pretended like he did not, but he knew Will knew him too well for that. “Whatever,” he said, grabbing the cup and taking a tentative sip. It was… good. Not as strong as coffee, a little sweet but not too much, and very creamy. Nico finished it before he realized. He glared at Will who was smiling back at him knowingly. “So? Did the Lord of Darkness enjoy it?” “Shut up,” Nico said, looking away to hide his pout. He knew he had a bad habit of pouting, something Will called ‘cute’. He really did not deserve Will.

“It was good, thanks,” he blurted, surprising both himself and his boyfriend, who grinned his adorable sunshiny grin and ruffled Nico’s hair before kissing his forehead. “Of course, babe.”

[sageandthestars]

how the marauders take their coffee

james

loves to buy all the weird fancy flavoured coffees and he is always surprised when they taste awful (‘how was i supposed to know nettle and rhubarb wasn’t a good flavour combination?’)

is such an annoyingly natural morning person he never needs coffee out of necessity, but caffeine actually helps him focus so he normally has a big mug at breakfast in the great hall and at lunch time too. no sugar, big splash of whole milk and never stirred - he likes to watch the milk marble and mix with the coffee much to everyone else’s amusement. dinner is a strict no-coffee zone because…well pre-existing ADHD driven insomnia + caffeine is not a good combo.

lily gave him one of those crappy plastic reusable costa cups on their first visit to muggle london together and he puts it in pride of place on his bedside table in their dorm room ever since. no matter how notoriously messy he may be, that cup gets dusted every weekend. almost every weekend at least.

sirius

wants everyone to think he’s an edgy black coffee drinker but secretly dumps like five sugar cubes in his cup when he doesn’t think anyone’s watching.

physically cannot function before midday if he hasn’t had a good few mugs (peter once bought him one of those awful millenial t-shirt’s that says ‘don’t talk to me before my morning coffee’ for christmas as a joke and to this day it’s the only thing he’ll wear to breakfast at the weekends when they don’t have to be in uniform).

LOVES iced coffee more than anything and by now the house elves have learned how to make frappes for him; 90% cream and syrup, just the way he likes them. it isn’t unusual to find him slumped over some half-finished homework the night before it’s due surrounded by glasses with drinks that had had no where near enough actual caffeine in them to keep him properly awake.

remus

obviously prefers coffee chocolate to actual coffee because, well duh it’s chocolate but especially after or before a rough moon he’ll be drinking buckets of the stuff to replace sleep…and an immune system.

prefers the smell and warmth to the taste and so a lot of the time he’ll just be sitting there with his hands wrapped around a steaming mug and not actually bothering to drink it at all. speaking of mugs, he has his own collection in his trunk and they’re all HUGE. like his criteria for a good mug is one he can hold in both hands without his fingertips touching.

puts a good spoonful of honey in each cup, but isn’t very good at gaging how much to fill them up and so most of his papers have big coffee-rings staining then from where he’s either overfilled or knocked over his mug with a lanky elbow.

when he has the time, he likes to go to the kitchen and make coffee from scratch, the muggle way because it reminds him of his mother. it’s a therapeutic, almost ritualistic thing for him as he grinds up the beans and waits for the water to boil in a pan on the stove (no kettles because of the whole no-electricity thing) and more than once sirius has walked in on him bent over a french press next to the house elves and just paused there, deciding to walk out in the end and leave him in peace with his memories.

peter

defo uses coffee as a coping mechanism during OWLs - “no remus i didn’t stay up ALL night, i swear i slept between like, 6 and 7am when i finished my potions revision” - and loves to use the cheap, nasty coffeemate creamer stuff. he can only get it from muggle supermarkets though, so he buys in bulk in the holidays and then hoards it all under his bed.

caffeine gives him really bad anxiety symptoms though, and after james noticed his hands shaking more than usual when they were ‘studying’ in the common room he took him into hogsmede that weekend and bought him a load of decaffinated pepper up potions to put in his pumpkin juice in the morning because ‘sometimes i’m too jittery to sleep but i can’t stay awake and i know how much it sucks to be that tired’.

that was when peter realised james was actually a lot more perceptive and caring than most people gave him credit for and the first time he cast a patronus he was thinking of the two of them sitting in the three broomsticks that afternoon, arms full of pepper-up potions with james listing off all of the peeves-safe routes inside the castle he liked to wander when he couldn’t sleep.

[whoneedssexed]

Do you have any tips for being able to sleep while being neurodivergent? Anything I find about sleep tips are neurotypical and mostly useless to me.

Okay so this might be messy because I still don’t really have the spoons for what is going to be a very long post, but here’s my “results” from my experiences.

I am going to say I have a number of issues including autism, ADHD, PTSD, night terrors, phobias, fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis, hypersexuality, and so on and so forth that make falling asleep and staying asleep difficult. It’s hard for me to say for sure if I have insomnia or if it’s just a result/symptom of these things. 

But here’s a rough list on the things I’ve tried that can help others. Sometimes they help me, sometimes they don’t - which can be true of other people. So let’s go.

Routine. Routine can be very important to your body, so making sure you go to bed at roughly the same time every night can help “teach” your body when it’s time to rest. It’s like teaching a cat to take its medicine because it immediately gets a treat afterwards. 

And sometimes it helps to wake up around the same time as well, on top of eating around the same times and doing other things around the same times. This can just in general help with mental stuff, but not always.

Pillow tricks. For lack of a better term, using pillows in various ways can help, such as having one on top of you, or between your legs, or beneath your legs, or changing your pillows for your head, or having one at your back, or using a body pillow, etc. Stuffed animals can work as well.

Weight. Whether it’s a pillow or a blanket or a toy, something on top of you can help. You could also use your partner or pet if they’re willing. There are special weighted blankets that a lot of autistic people find comforting.

White noise. White noise is very often used to soothe and regulate. This can be a tv being on, a fan, an actual white noise machine, a heater, a lawn mower outside, etc. Even music can help, even though droning is often the point. I find muffled “normal” noise like people talking indistinctly or music from another room to be comforting, myself, if I don’t have a fan to hear.

Medicine. There’s plenty of medications and even herbs and supplements that can help. It’s best if you ask for a doctor’s recommendation before picking something up.

Sleeping buddies. I mentioned before that a partner or pet could sleep on you, but they can also just sleep with you and it be helpful. They don’t even have to be just companions either - it can be useful to interact with them, tiring you down and getting out the energy you have.

Aromatherapy. Good smells can make it easier to sleep. I find flowery scents the best.

Light reduction. Completely putting your room in darkness can be of great help, but if you can’t do that, using a sleeping mask can also help.

Pain reduction. Sometimes we are in pain (that’s me, I’m often in pain). Identifying the source of the pain helps, and then getting treatment for it. I take gabapentin which has made a world of difference, but I also use a small space heater on my feet and legs, which is where most of my pain is when I try to sleep. Things like heating pads, new pillows, elevating your legs, taking OTC medicine, or gel face masks can help, depending on where your pain is and why it’s happening.

Reduce fluids before bed. If you find yourself getting up to pee a lot, especially when you’re trying to fall asleep, you might find stopping drinking an hour before bed helpful, particularly soda, coffee, and acidic drinks.

Remove dry mouth. There’s a lot of us who can’t sleep when our mouths are dry, which can often be caused by the medications we are on. I normally use xylimelt tabs because they stay in your mouth without choking you. 

Use your bed as a bed. Some people find only using their bed to rest helpful in “teaching” their brain it’s time to sleep when they get into bed. Which means, don’t use it for activities other than rest.

Get a life that matches your sleep cycle. Some of us have different sleep cycles and are more awake at night instead of during the day, so doing things like getting an overnight job can help.

Rest is better than no rest. Even just relaxing in bed for a little bit can help you feel better and more energized. So don’t get anguished over how little time you have to fall asleep and be asleep, because even just chilling is very good for you. That realization freed me of a lot of anxiety around sleep.

Get up and walk around. If you keep tossing and turning, if you keep half-waking-up, if you keep repeatedly falling into a nightmare, get up and walk around for a little bit instead of trying to sleep again right away. Sit on the couch and hug something. This helps me dispel my night terrors and sleep paralysis. 

Change the lighting on your devices. Sometimes the light from our computers and phones can be irritating to our brains and make it difficult for us to sleep. Changing the light settings can help. For example, there’s a program called f.lux that adjusts the lighting on your computer so that it coincides appropriately with your wake and sleep times.

Exhaust yourself. A good workout can help you feel appropriately sleepy, especially when you shower off afterwards. Sex before sleep can also help. These both can give you feel-good hormones that make you more relaxed.

Baths and showers. Sometimes a relaxing bath or a shower can make you nice and sleepy. Some people use aromatherapy here via bath bombs or salts.

Nostalgia and recollection. Sometimes, bringing up pleasant memories can make it easier to sleep. For example, I sleep better while it is storming outside, or by candlelight, because of memories from when I was a child being rocked to sleep on our front porch during storms.

Those are my tips, and we have a tag for sleep that has more ADHD-specific tips:

https://whoneedssexed.com/tagged/sleep

- mod BP

[citrineghost]

Can we stop romanticizing caffeine addiction?

I’m not saying people shouldn’t enjoy coffee. By all means. But, can we stop normalizing the reliance on caffeine to get by day to day? Can we stop pressuring other people to use caffeine to get by? I feel like this is something that has slowly become pervasive in, at least, American society.

I have a lot of important stuff to say on this, but I want it to be clear that it’s mostly observation and based on things I’ve heard with no source. I skimmed some articles for this to check if I was off-base, but most of them were about chemical effects, rather than social effects. If you follow me, you know I tend to have a lot of opinions about sociological matters, and that’s what this is. I don’t have a degree. I’m not a chemist or a doctor. Take what you read with a grain of salt. If anyone has further information or sources on these topics, I highly encourage you to reblog and share them, both for my own research and for others’ education.

Before reading, please consider taking this survey I made to further study how people consume caffeine. Every response helps! If I get enough survey responses, I’ll create an addition to this post with a breakdown of the information I’ve gathered.

Analysis under the cut

It’s treated almost like how young people treat alcohol.

You’ll see teenagers and college students who go out drinking every day they don’t have school the next morning, take shots on weekdays, and drink alcohol from water bottles when they’re stressed. As long as they’re not drunk 100% of the time - as long as they aren’t a 40 year old surrounded by empty beer bottles and a stack of divorce papers, they can’t be an alcoholic, right? While a lot of people might grow out of their abuse of alcohol, all of those teens and college students who don’t end up growing into those miserable middle-aged people that they felt so separate from - so superior to - as young adults.

The same way alcohol is treated as a solution to stress, caffeine is treated like a solution to fatigue. Again, I am NOT saying that drinking some coffee when you’re a bit tired is some kind of moral dilemma. What I am saying is that, while it doesn’t have the same effects as alcohol, caffeine is an active substance that affects how your body functions. It increases your heart rate. It makes you feel more alert. It is a stimulant.

To get an idea of how caffeine affects the body and mind, consider for a moment that people with ADHD frequently self medicate with caffeine without realizing that’s what they’re doing. The stimulant effects of caffeine do very similar things to what amphetamines do. For someone with ADHD, this can be helpful in focusing. Ask someone with ADHD if caffeine energizes them and many will tell you that it actually feels calming. I know, as a teen, coffee was a before bed treat for me. That’s because, with ADHD, the brain is understimulated and overcompensating for it. By stimulating it, it stops working overdrive and chills out because it’s getting the stimulation it should be producing by itself.

However, when non-ADHD people drink caffeine, it amps them up. It gives them energy and they become chemically dependent on it - i.e. addicted to it. You can see evidence of caffeine addiction by stopping drinking it. If you drink coffee every single day, try going without it for a week. You’ll probably start getting aching, throbbing headaches.

Don’t forget that caffeine is an addictive substance, even if it’s normalized.

“Oh, it’s just a caffeine headache. That’s normal.”

Caffeine headache. Do you know what that is? That’s the normalized term for withdrawal from caffeine. As in, the kind of withdrawals someone with a chemical addiction has.

Most things can be used safely in moderation. That’s the exact reason amphetamines, like Adderall, are safe to use in controlled doses, but methamphetamine is dangerous and becomes immediately addictive. For that reason, drinking caffeine and reaping the benefits of its stimulative properties can be fine if you’re doing so every few days to pick up some slack from a late night or to keep you alert during a roadtrip. However, when you get to a point of using caffeine every single day, or multiple times a day, you are reaching a point of abusing it.

Obviously, abusing caffeine is not the same as abusing something like alcohol or hard drugs. However, it does have negative impacts on the body and psyche. For one thing, your addiction to caffeine makes you dependent on it. Instead of being able to wake up and shake off a little bit of tiredness in the morning, you suddenly feel sluggish consistently until you ‘have your morning coffee.’ Your body has become so accustomed to having its stimulation delivered to it out of a mug that it has stopped doing the work to keep you awake on its own.

Your morning coffee turns into morning coffee, lunch break coffee, Starbucks on the way home, and an extra shot on days where you’re feeling a little extra tired. Again, this isn’t about shaming people for liking coffee. Coffee tastes great. Starbucks is delicious. 

The point I’m trying to make is, are you consciously aware of what you’re doing to your body and mind? If you are, it’s your decision to make. But, I know there are doubtlessly countless people - teens especially - who copy mom and dad, buy coffee for the taste and don’t think about the caffeine contents, or rely on energy drinks to get through finals. For those who haven’t really thought about the extent of the effects of caffeine, I want to provide an opportunity to realize that it might not be just a fun, cool thing. It might actually be doing you harm.

How does caffeine cause someone harm?

When I say that caffeine can end up causing you harm, I don’t mean it’s going to cause liver failure or something. I mean that the way we have normalized caffeine addiction is inherently unhealthy. The way it has become something a large percentage of people have, rather than those who might genuinely need the assistance of caffeine and find the minor addiction worth it, is not okay.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by slowly reducing a person’s ability to sleep, long-term. There are some studies that suggest people with caffeine addiction can develop an inability to get the sleep they need over time. This may be caused by waking up too soon due to the body’s craving of caffeine or it can be caused by difficulty falling asleep from the residual caffeine effects.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by creating a disruptive habit. Consider: do you feel good about the fact that you can’t function without caffeine? Do you get frustrated by the fact that you have to spend money on your lunch break to top up or risk crashing in the middle of work or class? The fact is, the average person doesn’t need to rely on caffeine every morning - they have only grown to rely on it due to a routine that became an addiction.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by amplifying certain medication side effects, which makes getting a proper medication dosage impossible without the side effects taking over. This is true of stimulants, like those used to treat ADHD, among other things. Rapid heart rate, anxiety, and psychosis can be developed or amplified when taking both stimulants and overdoing it with caffeine.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by amplifying existing conditions, such as anxiety, psychosis, insomnia, and so on. If you have any symptoms of mental illness, you are likely making them more pronounced by drinking caffeine.

Caffeine addiction causes harm by permeating social environments. Back to what I said above about people treating caffeine the way young people do alcohol. There is a massive amount of peer pressure surrounding caffeine. And no, I don’t mean coffee in general, I mean caffeine itself. 

People (in the US, specifically - idk about everywhere else) will mock people who don’t like coffee. 

Teens form brand loyalty to energy drink companies and pressure friends into drinking the same things as them. 

If you don’t drink coffee every morning, people act like you’re not really a working adult. There is something about coffee and caffeine that has become synonymous with maturity in our culture.

If you like coffee, but you opt for decaf or half-caf, people treat you like you’re pretentious, childish, or weak in some way, even if you do it for reasons other than an aversion to caffeine dependency. (like medical reasons)

If you go to a coffee shop with friends and order tea or something else uncaffeinated, you may become the butt of jokes. (“What’s the point of going to a coffee shop if you’re drinking hot chocolate?” /scoff/)

Teens are pressured by peers to drink coffee in the morning just like adults do. If your parents don’t let you drink coffee, or you just choose not to, your classmates think you’re lame for it, or some kind of goody goody.

The parallels to alcohol use are startling. Reread that list and imagine it’s talking about alcohol. Every bulletpoint in the list can be translated perfectly.

This social stigma around caffeine and the choice not to consume it is harmful to a person’s psyche and can lead to caffeine dependency that otherwise would not have developed.

And the ultimate question: Why do we feel the need to become caffeine dependent?

Is it all peer pressure and the joy of a hot cup of coffee? I don’t think so. If we take a look at the bigger picture, like most things, it can be blamed on living in a capitalistic society. Caffeine consumption is largely caused by the desperation to rid yourself of exhaustion - to give yourself an energy boost. 

Why do we need to do that so much that we form an addiction and become reliant on caffeine? It’s simple: we are overworked, pushed too hard in school, and are forced to take on a fast-paced, stressful schedule just to keep on top of bills. Coffee becomes one of the only reprieves from a life of fatigue and burnout. If we don’t have the energy to spend three hours on that paper, we fail out of college and lose out on thousands of dollars in student loans - lose out on the opportunity to get a job that will pay enough to live on. If we don’t show up to work with a smile and a spring in our step, we get fired for not representing the company positively enough. 

We aren’t allowed to be tired. We aren’t allowed to rest. It drives us to self-medicate with caffeine so that while we’re working ourselves into an early grave, we can at least ignore the exhaustion that comes alongside it.

The takeaway: Are you actually happy with how you consume caffeine?

Take a moment to ask yourself, do you drink caffeine because you need to to sustain your lifestyle (working night shifts, traveling long hours very frequently, etc.), or do you drink it because you started and you don’t know how to stop? If the answer is that you like the taste of the drinks or you’re not really sure, it’s time to consider healthier-for-you alternatives. You can:

Drink decaf coffee, decaf teas, decaf sodas, and replace energy drinks with something else carbonated that isn’t based around caffeine consumption

Give yourself a withdrawal break for a couple months to allow your body to get back to normal and then limit caffeine consumption to once every few days or less

Find other drink alternatives that don’t generally have caffeine to begin with

If you’re drinking caffeine to survive the type of life you’re forced to live under late stage capitalism, it might be time to start pushing back so that you can remain energized and happy without having to resort to self-medicating. We shouldn’t have to do that. We should be able to live happy lives without caffeine.

[anomov]

Honestly??? I have nowhere else to post this, and I really just want to get it out, so here we go.

I feel so underrepresented in school. And it’s made worse by what the health teachers constantly say. I know that we’re kids in their eyes, but that doesn’t mean that they can just blow off our mental issues and what might be going on in personal life or mentally. They just blew over mental health and it really pissed me off.

But there are more things. I’ve only felt represented once in this school, and that was during the suicide prevention presentation. That’s not a good thing.

It starts off with the English teacher being all like “I’m ADHD so I have to have everything in order.” Bitch that’s not what ADHD is. And I think this specifically pisses me off more <i>as</i> someone with ADHD. I just hate misinformation being spread around, and her saying this isn’t going to help at all.

We’re already so misrepresented with the whole “ADHD means you’re bouncing off walls.” but now there’s this. It got on my nerves so much.

But that’s not what I’m the most livid about. What I’m the most livid about is the health class, specifically the male coach.

First off, he threw constant shade at the guys and made it seem like every guy was the same and that women don’t feel sexual desire. Some men are Ace, and some women are constantly horny. Everybody is different. Then he kept saying he understood, when he obviously didn’t because if he did he would know that everyone is different and not a clone of him or what the fuck ever he assumes every guy is like.

Though, what I’m even more mad about is his assumtions about all of our mental health.

Let me start out with, I’m not mentally healthy. I have depression and anxiety, and am constantly tired due to insomnia, in which meds do not help as much as they should.

He kept on acting like everyone was mentally fine. He gave examples but not good ones. His example of stress was saying we had a test. But then, he kept saying “You guys are like 15, you don’t have bad stress” or “You don’t have an excuse for being tired” or “You don’t have an excuse for sleeping less than 8 hours” or “You don’t need that caffine.”

Yes, I’m 15. I have anxiety. That causes more stress, then add on to that depression with constant suicidal thoughts, even if they’re not strong enough to harm me, it’s still there and causes stress.

Then onto the sleep thing. I’m sorry, but I can’t control what my body wants to do when it comes to sleep. I literally have no control over it other than taking meds and attempting to get my body to sleep. But even if I sleep 8 hours, I’m still tired.

You can’t say that I have no excuse when I try my best with multiple kinds of insomnia. And it’s always been like this, but it’s worse now, and you act like that can’t be there because we’re kids.

Some people do need caffine to function, even at this young. I know drinking coffee, caffinated tea, of an energy drink helps in the morning becuase I’m constantly tired. It’s not like everyone has a perefect sleep schedule and perfect control over their body. We don’t all sit up and play around, I try to sleep, but I can’t. I wake up so many times in the middle of the night, and then it’s hard to go back to sleep again. I have so many fucking excuses but apparently they’re not valid because I’m 15???

The only time I’ve felt represented was yesterday. We had a suicide prevention presentation. And in that, it talked about stress and suicide and depression. And I felt represented because <i>I</i> have depression and have been suicidal. Anytime else it’s just throwing shade, but then it was talking about a real topic.

The coaches also try to degrade the students. I’m sorry, but I’m not physically capable in the ways you want me to be. I can’t reach my toes, standing or sitting. It hurts to lay down and do curlups. It hurts to do push-ups. It hurts to do planks on hardwood floors. I can’t push up from benches because my hands are sweaty.

I can’t run for 20 minutes running and walking each minute. That’s a lot. And you take points off of kids who literally are feeling sick because of your class. I’ve wanted to vomit in your class. You dehydrate us because you don’t let us fucking drink unless it’s a waterbreak. Then you overwork us and acr like it’s our fault for being tired. Fucking bullshit.

[thecoveys]

Ahne please if you could do modern!Newsies and studying (what‘s their best subject? What courses do they take at college? What are their studying habits? Anything you can think of really) i would cry (finals got me in a MOOD) (only if you wanna of course💕)

Request something?

Of course I can write a little bit about that! :))

Under the cut!

Jack

Majors in art, obviously

Has always done well with practical work, not really huge on the theoretical side of things

A notorious procrastinator

Stays up late the night before a huge assignment is due and crams until the last possible minute

Gets decent grades, but is not top of the class in anything except art

The only homework he likes to do is his art homework

School is not everything to this boy, he knows to have fun and take care of himself

Davey

Disaster Student™

Majors in law

Does not know how to take breaks while studying (wrote a little bit about that here)

A perfectionist, everything has to be done to the best of his ability

Lives off of coffee, Jack is mildly concerned that Davey’s gonna drop dead from a caffeine overdose at some point

Straight A’s

Listens to ASMR while he studies, the others tease him relentlessly for it

Katherine

Majors in journalism, minor in creative writing

That annoying student that cruises through the course with the most chill attitude to everything but still manages to ace the course

*Shows up five minutes late with Starbucks*

*Nails the class anyway*

Takes really neat notes during class

Does assignments right away like a Proper Student should

Has a decent amount of free time because of this

Writes a novel on the side

Crutchie

Majors in psychology, minor in social studies

Tries his best to help Jack procrastinate less, studies with him whenever he has the chance

Is that student that discovers a new show during finals week and binges that show up until the day before his final

Gets pretty good grades, slightly above average

Asks a lot of questions during lectures

*Hand goes up* *class groans*

(“Hey fuck you guys!”)

Very respectful to his lecturers and professors, bitches about them relentlessly behind closed doors

Race

Majors in engineering

This shocks evERYONE

Started up a dance society on campus, as if he didn’t have enough to deal with already

Multitasks like it’s nobody’s business

Normal sleep schedule?? What is that??

Also one who is addicted to coffee, which is dangerous combined with his hyperactivity

His notes are sO MESSY, he is the only one who can understand them

“Hey Race, can I borrow your notes?”

“Sure.”

“Hey, whaT THE FUCK does this even say??”

Albert

Majors in photography

Joined the dance society that Race started up

Constantly has his camera on him

Has mastered the art of the candid photo

A bit of an insomniac, has late night talks with Race all the time

The closer to finals, the worse his insomnia gets

Comes back from class in the afternoon and instantly has to have a nap, but can’t fall asleep at night

Takes a few online classes

Spot

Majors in history

Nobody expects that of him

Very fascinated with revolutions, strikes, and protests

Takes very neat notes to everyone’s surprise

“Hey, Spot, can I copy your homework?”

“You wish.”

Is actually a very organized and proper student

Tries his best to get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep every night, he mostly succeeds

Buttons

Majors in fashion design and tailoring

Always has a needle and thread on him

Dresses like a proper hipster

His room is a giant mess with sketches, prints, sewing patterns, materials, and pins all over

But he somehow knows where everything is

Drinks a decent amount of coffee, but is nowhere near Davey or Race’s level

Stays up late, but is always wide awake in the morning

A morning person

Romeo

Majors in drama, minor in music

Does absolutely not do well with theoretical stuff

ADHD

Is a frequent visitor to the dance society, dances for fun

Always has to be doing something

Gets antsy if he has to sit still for too long

Like Jack, he’s a procrastinator

Wings like 90% of his finals

Gets decent grades, but he’s not in it for the numbers

Specs

Majors in psychology, gets a minor in history just for the heck of it

Always on top of his work

Like Katherine, he does his assignments as soon as he gets them

They’re a very efficient team and study together a lot

Always sits next to Crutchie in psychology class

Takes very neat notes, but his system only makes sense to him

Colour codes all his notes like a nERD

Reads his school books for fun

Joins the dance society, because he loves to dance (and Romeo is there)

Tommy Boy

Major in dance, minor in history

An interesting combo, to say the least

Very chill

Cruises through classes like it’s nothing

Always down for a night out, except when he has dance the next morning

Binges tv shows at all times, people wonder how he even gets work done

Helps Race with the dance society a lot

Dresses like he’s going to dance rehearsal at all times, even if he hasn’t got a dance class that day

[drlaurynlax]

The Most Comprehensive HPA Axis Dysfunction Guide

HPA Axis Dysfunction affects many people and having the right treatment could help them live fuller lives.

Stress is “normal.”

…So is feeling imbalanced. At least for approximately 3 in 4 Americans who will experience “adrenal fatigue” in their lifetime, according to Dr. James Wilson, author of Adrenal Fatigue: the 21st Century Stress Syndrome (2001). 

Stress: Mental & Physical

Most people think of stress as psychological and emotional stress.

Technically, however, stress is defined as:

 “Any event in which environmental demands, internal demands, or both, strain or exceed the adaptive resources of an individual.”

(In other words: Stress is a demand on our mental or physical body that we can’t handle well). 

Stress (both mental and physical) is the “elephant in the room,” that sets the stage for all sorts of disease and health problems we experience in our lifetime. 

Common Stress

You and I encounter hundreds—if not thousands—of stressors in our daily lives, some that happen in the blink of an eye, and others that linger for years.

Common daily stressors include:

Gut-irritating foods, like chocolate-glazed donuts, beans or even difficult-to-digest raw broccoli in your gut

Getting stuck in rush-hour traffic

An e-mail exchange where the person’s tone on the other end seems tense

A spat with your significant other

Negative news headlines on our notifications throughout the day

Running late

Drinking 2-3 cups of coffee to tide you over after 4 hours of sleep

A 3 pm sugar binge when a sugar crash strikes

Accidentally overeating or feeling really hungry before a meal

Pushing ourselves hard in an intense workout

Feeling the crunch of a tight deadline at work

Lack of sleep one night

Saying “yes” when you really wanted to say “no”

Getting over-heated in the sun

Generally, daily, or “acute” (short-term) stressors are things we quickly adapt to—

If you get hot for instance, you naturally seek to cool your body off with some AC. If you ate too much, you may not feel like eating as much the next meal; or if your body is ‘stressed’ with hunger, you typically eat something to ‘adapt’ and calm the stress.If you didn’t get much sleep last night, you may try to find time to take a nap, or to get to bed extra early tonight.

With short term stress, your body and mind is innately wired to learn how to deal with the stress.

However, when stress lingers and remains (with little to no relief in sight)…

Houston, we have a problem!

Some examples of chronic—lingering—stress may include:

A rocky or strained relationship with a significant other, business partner or best friend

Financial pressures

An autoimmune condition—that won’t go away

Years of eating a processed food diet or disordered eating habits

Daily (constant) demands of a boss we can never please or a job we hate

Trying to do everything—and not being able to do any one thing really well

Not eating enough (every day), dieting or restriction

Drinking 2 to 3 cups of coffee (every day)

Burning a candle at both ends—every day

Sleeping 5-6 hours most nights

Staring at screens fo 8-10 hours per day

Overtraining (Chronic cardio with little to no rest for recovery)

Overwork and little to no play

Staring at computer screens while hunched over—every day

  Try as we may to adapt, relief doesn’t come, and if chronic stress persists, things go awry BOTH physically and mentally.

Hello SUPER STRESS!!!

Technically we call this “HPA Axis Dysfunction.”

HPA Axis Dysfunction 101

HPA Axis Dysfunction is another word for what’s come known as “adrenal fatigue” or “poor stress management” in laymen’s terms. Mental and physical stress triggers the hypothalamus in your brain to activate two distinct pathways of the stress response:

1.) The “Fight or Flight” System (“Sympathetic Medullary System”): the system the responds IMMEDIATELY to stress, like increasing your heart rate, blood pressure, alertness, and metabolic rate; and,

2.) Your HPA-Axis (Hypothalamic Pituitary Adrenal Axis): the “mothership” of all things stress related in your body.

HPA Axis Anatomy

The HPA-Axis involves three key parts of your brain and body: 

Hypothalmus. The region in your brain that controls the “automatic” (autonomic) functions like: metabolism, body temperature, thirst, hunger, sleep and emotional activity.

Pituitary. A “hormone regulating” gland, in your forehead, that helps your body feel, helps you manage stress, and stimulates growth, hormone balance, reproduction, and lactation.

Adrenal Glands. Two pea-sized endocrine (hormone) glands that produce a variety of hormones including adrenaline, aldosterone and cortisol (your stress hormone)

If your HPA-Axis takes a hit from LOTS of stress or chronic (ongoing) stress, then it leads to “HPA Axis Dysfunction,” resulting in an assortment of side effects, including:

Inflammation

Blood sugar imbalances

Most all disease: Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc.

Mood imbalances, like depression

psoriasis or eczema;

IBS, bloating, or other digestive symptoms

Brain fog 

Hormone imbalances

Infertility

ADD/ADHD

And (you guessed it) chronic—ongoing anxiety—that anxiety you seemingly can’t control, no matter how hard you try to think about controlling it. 

  “HPA Axis Dysfunction” is simply another way of saying, “chronic” stress.” Chronic stress is the root of all imbalance in the body. 

And tying back to our gut-brain-body connection, chronic stress often stems back to the gut. It’s all intertwined!

HPA-Dysfunction vs. Stress

But don’t we all experience stress in our lives? Shouldn’t we just be able to deal with it?

What’s the difference in every day stress vs. “HPA Axis Dysfunction?”

Good questions!

True, our bodies DO deal with A LOT when it comes to stress; and your body (and brain) can take A LOT (“bring it on!”). But when stress goes overboard, or lasts for a long time (without proper recovery) our body can only handle so much.

Example: the Poptarts and Cheetohs I ate daily as a kid, and artificial sweeteners and additive-filled protein powders I ate for years in college and young adulthood. 

The result from these chronic stressors in my life? Frequent bloating, constipation, bacterial overgrowth, and the anxiety I battled in my teens and young 20’s. My body was not designed and wired to eat Silicon Dioxide, aspartame, corn solids or high-fructose corn syrup.

Gone are the days of our ancestors who lived in the natural (toxin-free) environment, ate nutrient-rich foods, and spent their days in accordance to the rhythms of the sun. Eventually my repetitive poor quality foods led to poor gut health, which then led to stress and a variety of symptoms. 

Consider the variety of stress your own body encounters on a daily basis:

Working a job you don’t love, staring at a screen for 8-hours and staying stuck in your cubicle;

Barely getting 6-hours of sleep

Running off 2 to 3 cups of coffee every day

Eating ketchup, pasta sauce, yogurt and deli meat—laden with hidden sugar

Forgetting to eat, or subsisting off of chicken and broccoli—not eating enough

CrossFitting, spinning or running miles upon miles 5 to 6 days per week with little attentio to your recovery 

If this becomes your “norm,” that HPA-Axis of yours also takes a hit. And when your HPA-Axis takes a hit, a “normal stress” response no longer remains.

Cortisol Conundrum

Speaking of “normal stress, “ever heard of the hormone cortisol?

Cortisol is your “stress hormone” that helps you deal with “normal stress.” In the good ol days, it helped humans run really fast from bears chasing them in the woods; and it helped you “suck it up” when the mean girls left you out at the lunch table in middle school. 

Cortisol is directly produced and regulated by the HPA-Axis. 

Higher amounts of stress produce more cortisol.

If cortisol levels are constantly produced and pumped out (with little to no recovery or rest from the stress), then the HPA-Axis gets pooped out!  

And we are right back to square one: Imbalance and inflammation (think: mood swings, sugar cravings, racing thoughts, disrupted gut flora leading to disrupted serotonin in the brain, increased or decreased respiration rate, elevated blood pressure, etc.).

Without the ability to regulate stress (normally), your body and mind naturally become more sensitive and fragile to respond to even little stressors (like a loud noise, the lack of control, a comment someone said, the effects caffeine, etc.). 

Again: stress is more than just a mental battle, it is also a physical battle.

How do I know if I have HPA Axis Dysfunction?

It’s not always easy to “see” or diagnose—especially if your “subpar (stressed out) norm” has become your norm.

Common signs of an out-of-whack HPA-Axis include:

Anxiety—that doesn’t go away

Panic attacks

Feeling wired and tired at night

“Waking up” when you workout—and needing the highs of workouts to keep going

Plateaus in training, “gains” and physical goals

Muscle weakness or wasting

High or low blood pressure

Suppressed respiration (needing “more air” during training)

Subpar performance “Crazy fast” metabolism or super slow metabolism

Telling your body to “work harder” or “push more”—with difficulty implementing it

Digestion difficulties (bloating, gas, IBS, constipation)

Suppressed appetite

Hormone imbalances (low testosterone, loss of period, infertility)

Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar)

Unable to go long between meals without getting a headache/shakey

Dependence on coffee, sugar or artificial sweeteners

Never feeling 100% rested

Apathy and/or burnout

Feeling emotionally “flat”

Falling asleep if you sit anywhere for too long

Insomnia

Weepy for now reason

Inability to lose weight

Mood swings

Fatigue

Anxiety or Depression

Autoimmune conditions

Food intolerances

Headaches

High blood pressure

Low or high heart rate

Feeling dizzy when standing up

Inability to concentrate/focus or memory loss

Lyme disease

Catching colds, flus or illnesses easily

Not “feeling like yourself”

Skin breakouts or acne 

Feeling burned out or unable to do your usual basic “to dos”

Inability to tolerate exercise like you once did

Random allergies

“Diabetes” 

Thyroid issues/hypothyroidism

Unwanted weight loss and inability to gain weight

Feeling “wired and tired”

Shortness of breath

Hormone imbalances 

Apathy about my work

IBS

Poor workout performance

Electrolyte imbalances

  If any of these factors are ongoing (lasting more than 7 days), then it may be worth at least exploring if you could benefit from “resetting” your HPA-Axis (i.e. targeting stress).

What to Do About It

Address stress—the elephant in the room.

Not just mentally, but physically. 

Remember: While talking about your anxiety and counseling with someone around your anxiety can be two HUGE PIECES of the anxiety puzzle, if your physical well-being goes unaddressed (targeting stress reduction and improving gut health), then you are only treating half the “problem.”

How to do it? 

Here are some basics to start:

1. Assess Your Own Stress.

What are the top stressors in your life right now, and what stressors have you dealt with in your past? Surgeries? Medications? Light exposure? A job you hate? Food intolerances? Gut issues? Make a list of both psychological and physiological factors that may be contributing to your current state of stress.

2. Test Don’t Guess.

Many people read about “adrenal fatigue” or HPA Axis Dysfunction on Google and immediately turn to self-treating—buying supplements and tea labeled “adrenal support” at Whole Foods, downloading the Headspace meditation app, and diffusing lavender in the air. However, without understanding a full picture of the cortisol imbalance in your body (if at all), you may be under treating or over treating. For instance, your cortisol may be high or low, melatonin may be suppressed or perfectly normal, estrogen may be nonexistent or extremely elevated.

In addition, cortisol imbalance may be triggered by the gut, the hypothalamus or your thyroid, or a mix of all three. The problem is, if you treat your “issue” inappropriately you risk not getting to the “root” or potentially making the problem worse. A comprehensive saliva/urine test like the DUTCH test can help you get a clearer picture of your unique cortisol story. Consider working with a functional medicine practitioner to navigate test results, as well as address any other underlying health imbalances contributing to your condition.

3. Eat a Nutrient Dense Diet

Balance your meals with protein, healthy fats and moderate carbs. No extremes. 

Protein, particularly in the morning, has a balancing effect on blood sugar. 

Avoid foods with fillers, sweeteners and unknown ingredients.

For a time, avoid caffeine and alcohol. 

Prioritize clean filtered water (Tip: Add a pinch of sea salt to 12 to 16 ounces of water in the morning. Sea salt is a natural electrolyte to balance sodium levels). 

Also don’t neglect mindful eating (chewing your food well, slowing down at meal times, not eating on the go or while watching TV, etc.). Mindfulness is a game changing practice your body appreciates.Reset Your Circadian Rhythms

Eliminate blue light exposure at night (blue-blocking glasses, nightshift apps on your phone),

Get back to nature (aim for 30-60 minutes at least of fresh air)

Eat at regular intervals

4. Catch Enough Zzzz’s

Sleep at regular times (keep a schedule). Speaking of sleep is essential to just about every type of “wellness” protocol, but it is particularly essential for HPA Axis Dysfunction recovery. Prioritize 7 to 9 hours each night.

5. Move Your Body

Overtraining is a common cause of HPA Axis Dysfunction. Common signs of overtraining include difficulty recovering from workouts, increased gut issues or loss of appetite, a plateau or decrease in performance, increased body fat despite regular exercise and “eating clean,” poor sleep, restlessness, anxiety, fatigue, muscle or joint pain, suppressed immune system, and low mood.

The best exercise? In the immediate recovery period, opt for lower intensity exercise such as walking, cycling (not cranking up the notch on your spin bike), strength training, swimming, or yoga over high-intensity activities like CrossFit WODs, Orange Theory workouts or straight-up cardio training. Just Say No.

What’s filling your life and what’s draining you? Take a thoughtful inventory of what’s crowding your space. Cut out the things on your plate that are weighing you down.

6. Relax

As cheesy or overrated as it sounds, take time out to settle your mind and integrate mindful activities through mental and physical (intentional) relaxation.

Consider these:

Prayer

Journaling

Meditation (Try Muse, or Headspace)

Biofeedback/Heart Math

Yogi Breathing 

Yoga 

Tai Chi

  These are just a few ways people actively seek to “relax” more. Although it will probably be “awkward” at first, by starting small and prioritizing relaxation (even 5 minutes in the morning) make a difference.

7. Supplement Smart

A big mistake people make is taking random supplements that can actually make your adrenal fatigue worse, not better, if not careful. As mentioned, testing and not guessing helps prevent over-treating or under-treating with supplements. However, there are some natural and gentle supports for HPA Axis Dysfunction that can work for many people as your figuring out your unique picture including:

Liposomal Curcumin + Boswellia AKBA  

Lavender & Peppermint essential oils

Adrenal Calm Cream by Apex Energetics 

HPA Axis  

The post The Most Comprehensive HPA Axis Dysfunction Guide appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/hormones-metabolism/hpa-axis-dysfunction-guide/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

[maedhros-nelyafinwe]

This turned out longer than I intended. I’m in a rambling mood and my sleep has been especially shitty for the past month. I don’t sleep the best to begin with, but every so often it just hits the fan and this has been for an extended period and I’m just exhausted.

I finally think I made headway in my sleep research. I keep forgetting to call the psych, who my gp said I should talk to him about it last month lol. Anyways, after doing some research into if it’s just adhd (which can cause insomnia) and doing my own sleep hygiene changes and hitting everything on the checklist for that, I’ve figured out that caffiene did affect me a little (my insomnia isn’t as extreme before, but I’ll test that out tomorrow for sure), it’s not fully the cause. I’m sleeping more so I’ll continue to watch when I have caffiene, but I still have problems falling asleep and staying asleep.

But instead of 3-5 hours of sleep (and a few days, 0 hours), since I cut caffiene I’m back to hitting 5-7 on average. Sooo much better, but still doesn’t address my difficulty falling asleep and general all day tiredness.

Sleep problems have plagued for as long as I can remember. I didn’t realize I had insomnia as a kid until my mom, one night somewhere around 5th or 6th grade, walked in on me reading a book around midnight, despite my bedtime around 8. Even at sleepovers, I was always the last one asleep, if I slept at all. Anyways, Mom came in and asked why I was still up and I was just like “????? reading of course????” 

Then I learned about insomnia. I was also the only middle schooler that (at least admitted to it or said anything about it) who loved taking naps. Naps were wonderful. Still are. I’ve been napping for such a long time.

Anyways. Issues sleeping. Forever. So in middle school, again, I learned meditation before I knew what it was. The ‘super guaranteed trick to make you sleep in 20 mins!’ where you start at your feet, relax the muscles, then move up your body, mentally making your muscles to relax and learning to still my ever racing thoughts in it. It helped for sure. Suddenly I could sleep for more than a few hours (that was adhd helping keep me awake, the racing thoughts and mind). But I was still always tired.

Mornings were (and are) the absolute worst. I never woke up on time, my mom had to come in and force me up. Until I realized that I had to literally throw myself out of bed the second I heard my alarm. Like, I hear it, and chuck the covers off, throw my legs over and stand up, all before I can fully open my eyes or think a single thought. It’s still a struggle to get my thoughts to work. People call my morning self ‘zombie’ me, because its legit like a zombie. My eyes are barely open, i can’t think, it’s all just muscle memory of my morning routine.

I had to learn ways to keep awake during classes, during general school and university (though the latter was easier because i planned classes accordingly. that is, not early at all lol and then I chugged coffee in the afternoon). I started drinking coffee at 12 years old and it helped a little bit for a little while, but then it stopped working and now I’m just left with a caffiene addiction lol

So that’s kind of a history. Minus the common sleep paralysis and constant nightmares (which I’ve learned to fall right back asleep through because they’re common).

I was researching the difference between adhd insomnia and sleep disorder insomnia because I’ve no doubt that was most of my problem growing up and thought maybe its still got me in its clutches despite all my trying.

So, my natural sleep schedule, when there’s no school or work, is fall asleep around 3am and wake up around 10am. When I can stick to that schedule, I actually feel rested afterwards and its easy to fall asleep. I feel the best on that schedule. Because of that, I always worked evening shifts. After high school, I worked took the latest shift, often getting off at midnight. In university, I still managed to get jobs that wouldn’t ask me to do morning shifts, all evening, with the latest letting me off at midnight again. I also tried to plan classes around this, with no classes before 930.

But now, I’m stuck at a normal hours job and it fucking sucks. I wake up at 530 am and go to bed at 830 and its so fucking rough and I’m always tired, stealing naps in my few breaks and a nap at home after school (but it’s never restful because the falling asleep issue). After almost 2 years, it’s fucking awful. Everyone around says I should adjust, or I will adjust because that’s natural, but I’ve never been able to adjust. Never.

Anyways, in my research, something just dropped and I was like ‘fuck, that sounds spot on like me’ and it’s called Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder/Syndrome/Whatever. People who have this fall asleep between 1-3am and wake up somewhere around 10-Noon. They cannot adjust to another sleep pattern. So they have trouble falling asleep before that. It’s also like getting woken up in the normal feeling sleep schedule (so like being woken up to the equivalent of midnight or 1am) So they’re tired throughout the day.

This is opposed to people who like the nighttime more than daytime. Those people can switch their sleep schedule after a week or two and feel rested and sleep through the night. But with dspd, it’s fighting a losing battle and that’s cause its a problem with your internal alarm clock completely. It’s just got shifted hours. and it doesn’t want to shift to a normal time.

Anyways, if my continuing with sleep hygiene keeps going with no development on my overall tiredness, I’m likely to go in and talk to psych about that possibility.

for those who are curious, here is a list for sleep hygiene:

7-9 hours of sleep (different sources say different things): Sometimes check.

Go to bed at the same time every night, even weekends (This is also same for when you wake up): check (cause i’m already so tired on the weekends anyways).

Quiet place to sleep: Absolutely check. With Adhd, if there’s any noise, I will not sleep.

Keep bedroom dark and cool: check and check. Again, if there’s light, I will not sleep. I do keep it cool because it helps according to science, tho it doesn’t feel like it.

Your bed is only used for sleep or sex: check and check. I spend no extra in the bedroom except to sleep.

No screens (phones, tvs, etc): check-ish. I have an e-reader but it’s on night mode. so no blue light, very dim lighting, and black background.

Follow a bedtime routine: check. I don’t play video game an hour before, I stay off the computer, and I mindlessly zone out in front of the tv or do mindless apps on my phone, then at 830, i brush my teeth, take some heartburn medicine, go upstairs, and read until i can fall asleep.

Limit daytime naps: check. I ain’t got time to nap.

No caffiene after the afternoon: recently check. I’ll keep this test going to see if its an effect for me.

Exercise: lol no

That’s about what’s the same for every place that mentions sleep hygiene. I do almost every single one of these and still just ugh. Hence why I think it’s more.

I also forgot to mention that with dspd, when given the chance, its a very quick reversion back to the natural sleep wake times, which is also true. I have to be careful not to mess up what progress i have made, though i sincerely want to

[dont-tell-them-i-write-phan]

ADHD Tony headcanons because I'm ADHD and I said so

Seriously, I can project on this man all day long

This is going under a read more because I have a lot to say.

OKAY!! Alright, so my biggest ADHD thing is hyperfixation, but I mean, do we really need to talk about that? We all know he gets an idea in his head and goes to the lab and works and works and works until it's done. Sleep is for the weak. Eating? Never met her. Talking to someone besides his AI and robots? Why bother? Pepper/Rhodey/Happy/Peter/Bruce has to come into the lab and shove what he's working on out of his hands and replace it with a plate of food. But you know that. Everyone who's seen the movies knows that. What you may not know is that he does it with e v e r y t h i n g. "When did you become an expert on thermonuclear astrophysics?""Last night." It wasn't necessary. He read the file and understood it perfectly well enough. However, it was interesting so he spent the rest of the night on a deep dive learning about it just because that's what he does. He walked past the TV when someone was watching a show and that night he pulled it up on a tablet when he couldn't sleep. Three days later he knew everything about that show, its source material, the actors, the producers, news, everything. He decides that Pepper needs a 20 foot tall stuffed rabbit for Christmas and scours the internet for hours until he finds exactly what he's looking for.

Now, let's talk racing thoughts. Between the fact that he is a genius and ADHD, Tony just thinks Very Fast and Does Not Stop Thinking Ever. Sometimes this is a source for insomnia, sometimes it isn't. Just depends on the night. It is, however, always a contributing factor to his maladaptive daydreaming. He gets a thought in his head and he follows that thought down a rabbit hole and two hours later, Pepper is shaking his shoulder with a slight frown on her face because he hasn't moved that whole time. When she asks what he was thinking about, he crumples his forehead for a moment then relaxes, shrugs and says "Who knows, but I figured out that formula." And that's it. He's got a bad habit of just saying whatever comes to his mind at any given opportunity which is super inconvenient sometimes because while he has a perfectly logical train of thought, he's gone through four subjects by himself in the span of half a second and the other person is left in the dust and very confused. Not to mention that he's got too many ideas for just one train of thought. He's like Grand Central Station. Sometimes he stays on one train, but he could just as easily hop to another and not lose traction in the slightest. Sometimes if he just can't figure something out he does that frustrated little snuffly thing with his nose and switches to a different thought while that one is still actively running in the background and he'll suddenly realize that he's solved it, snap his fingers, yell at FRIDAY that he's not taking any calls and get to work immediately. The Avengers meet a telepath one day and they got to shake Tony's hand and just immediately crumple to the floor. When they wake up they're just staring at Tony in mild horror because what the fuck. How can one tiny human brain be doing that much at one time?

And don't even get me STARTED on the sensory input that man deals with. Tony notices EVERYTHING around him at all times. That scene in Homecoming where he's talking to Peter, interacting with people at a party, drinking, flying the most advanced suit of armor in the world, and driving a car all at the same time? With a pair of glasses?? Child's play. He can do that all day long because he can compartmentalize. He sees and hears So Much All The Time that he'd go crazy if he actually tried to register it all. So instead it's filtered and stored. He notices everything but unless it's important, it's ignored. Not forgotten, just put aside to be stored later. And then forgotten because he forgets to ever store it. That telepath? Yeah, another reason they're curled up on the ground sobbing is because now they're perfectly aware of how Everything Happens So Much all the time in Tony's head. Tony is very well acquainted with being overstimulated and knows how to help with Peter's senses being dialed up to 11.

And then there's just the #JustADHDThings. 

The trailing off in the middle of a sentence because you started following another rabbit trail. 

Leaving things unfinished because something came up and walking back to the mess and going "Wtf was I even doing?" 

Shitty Memory. Tony walks into rooms about 12 times in a row because he keeps forgetting what he was doing in there. 

Always Gotta Move. Doesn't matter if it's tinkering or typing or walking or talking or gesturing or leg bouncing or chewing or fidgeting, but he's gotta be in motion unless he's in that daydreaming state. 

Sometimes you're allowed to touch him, other days of you get within five feet he's Uncomfortable because you're Too Close.

 Should he drink coffee? No. Does he? Yes. Does he feel like death when his heart starts racing? Absolutely. Is he gonna stop? H e l l n o. 

REPETITION!! He just does things over and over and over again sometimes because he's Just Gotta. Solved an equation in your head? Do it again. Found a word you liked? Say it over and over until it's not a word. Hang up the picture. No hang it up there. No hang it up there. No- actually, I'm bored, let's go.

Constantly losing things. One of the first things he programmed into JARVIS was the ability to scan the house and tell him exactly where The Thing is. 

Time?? What the fuck even is that? Miss me with that fake shit. Tony can't tell the difference between an hour and 10 minutes 90% of the time and if you ask him how many days it's been since something he'll just stare and you dumbfounded for a moment then say "More than two days ago, but definitely since December." And that's it. That's as specific as he can get.

[lucyninjawife]

Marriage and Mental Health and Other Illnesses

I like to equate my mental change about 10yrs ago, that’s the youngest of daughters I have who affectionately kicked over all the furniture of my mind. It started off as what I thought was PPD (postpartum depression). That word stood out to me for some reason when I was pregnant with Gianna. It’s weird but I always keep freak things like this in the back of my mind.

I’ll spare you all the details of all the hopelessness and sadness I experienced, but it was really bad. I knew early on it was a condition called Hypothyroidism, but I didn’t have insurance anymore, and the free clinic doctors said that they thought I was just depressed. Depressed, yes, but there was more evidence that it was more, like weight gain, the inability to lose weight, depression, insomnia, mood swings, unexplained anger…. and so on.

I went a few more years white knuckling my symptoms. Putting on a happy face when I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t want to do anything, laughing was a chore, and not to mention having smaller kids that needed my attention.

It took me official 7 yrs to get a semi/half-hearted diagnosis of Hypo. And just last year did I receive the diagnosis of having PCOS( polycystic ovarian syndrome), that is another fun diagnosis that just made things more pronounced. The rule is, when you have one autoimmune disease you almost are laying out the welcome mat for the next one. I have learned that in this last year that most people have two.

Both PCOS and Hypothyroidism mirror the same symptoms such as depression, weight gain, mood swings, bu PCOS makes you insulin resistant, which makes loosing weight almost impossible, more at risk for type 2 diabetes, etc. And all this weighs heavy on the mind.

Not one can speak against a woman who is trying to hold on to hr emotions while nurturing small kids. I closed my daycare biz down a year after Gianna was born, because mentally, I could not keep it together. Frankly, I knew something was real wrong when I was pregnant. I used to go in the kitchen, sit on the floor and sob. I would sob because I was sad. I was sob because I didn’t know why I was sad. And I’ve always been a pretty light person, but this was different.

The Hubs had decided sometime before she came along, that he wanted to go back to school, and he was still finishing up thru it all. Those were also some of the hardest days of my life. A non traditional student, with a full time job and being the sole breadwinner since his wife was incapable.

We are in a world that sees permanent as not that permanate at all. Especially when it comes to vows. Marriage vows are about as serious now as hair color. One day you want this and the next day you aren’t committed to it anymore.

I recently encountered a husband who was looking for an out from his marriage. He talked about having his 3 small kids under 5yrs old, and how his wife seems to be a bit ditzy. He went on to state that his wife is no good with money, manages to keep the kids alive but he felt she had a drinking problem. All symptoms pointing to some type of postpartum something and maybe ADHD and bipolar. I do have a background in psychology, I’m not a doctor but I am equally obsessed with the mind. The Hubs is a Social Worker/Therapist and he’s a stickler for people to misdiagnose people, and I get it. But this husband was/is willing to throw his wife away with really KNOWING why she seems like a ditzy kid.

There was this ABC 20/20 story done some time ago about mothers who drank wine/liquor in their coffee cups because motherhood/parenthood is a LOT. Bringing up kids, for me is a multiple choice. You don’t want them to have the same emotional scars as you but you can’t let them get away with everything either. That alone can drive one, no me, to drink.

I am so grateful to the Hubs for sticking with me, and talking me off many metaphoric ledges about childhood traumas and my recent diagnosis, and teaching me about the triggers I didn’t know that I had.

What I have come to learn in the last decade is, people grow up…. their bodies grow up, but sometimes their minds are time warped. Most times subconsciously if not consciously. Sometimes as we grow as adults, our chemistry changes, which ultimately effects us mentally.

Though we still are fighting a uphill battle in making mental health treatment available to EVERYONE, we are more knowledgable for treatment than even my/our grandparents. I’m lucky that I have a doctor who somewhat lets me guide my care. That doesn’t always happen and I think doctors spoil like old milk. You have to be your own advocate.

If you have a spouse who is suffering from a mental illness here are some actionable tips.

Mental illness doesn’t always have to be the end of the world. Medicine is more advanced, but you have to be ALERT!

You want a doctor that is attentive. There is really no way to know until you have interacted with them a few times like, do they call in prescriptions on time or reply when you need a refill, do they listen to you and give you the respect of knowing your body.

Do your own research!! Sometimes Google can be helpful. Type in your symptoms and see what it says. Sometimes after it pulling up a diagnosis you can read more things about in articles and books.

Join Support groups. Now Facebook is great for this if nothing else. You can find a group that suits your needs, and ask questions, share your experiences, people are really supportive and it’s all hours of the day and night.

Take notes. Don’t come to the doctor empty handed and don’t leave empty handed. Ask questions that you’ve acquired before seeing them and don’t be afraid to contest it.

YOU KNOW YOUR BODY!!! Don’t let anyone tell you that “it’s all in your mind”. You live with you or your spouse, THEY DON”T. If they don’t seem to help solve your issues, FIRE THEM!!

To have a spouse with mental illness doesn’t mean that they should be abandoned. It means you just have to advocate for them in a different way. Have some patience, some optimism, some compassion, some love…. and it wouldn’t hurt to think about those vows “for sickness or in health”.

Another wife I have helped had married her husband who was already diagnosed with Schizophrenia. That diagnosis used to be morbid back in the day. But it wasn’t until I worked with her to “see” him when he went thru a tail spin.

He was “normal” while medicated…. a little laid back and not in any hurry of anything. But one day he felt like he was “healed”. The wife had turned her blind eye to him and his care, their communication was null and void. It had been about 6mo from his last shot. He soon spiraled into a manic stage and it caused a big rift in their life.

But I see a few things wrong with this.

Dealing with a spouse with mental illness starts with communication. A wife (and a husband) should know their husbands’ intimately. Know what makes them tick, his off days, the land mines, etc. And help aid him from going into those areas. It can get to a point where it is unreasonable and unbearable, but that is based on the beholder.

If you really know your husband, you will know what medicine and treatment that will help them stay balanced. There will be up and down days.

Life is like your favorite tv episodes. If it was perfect and without conflict, you’d never watch it. So it’s not the end of the world, just a little bit of a challenge.