#i hope this is ok! i know it's a little depressing but i've not been doing the best

[neil-gaiman]

hi dad,

ok i know ur not -really- my dad lmao just let me cope. i lost mine, so you're stuck with that title now. anyway. i just felt like telling you how great things seem to be going for me rn (fuck i hope i don't curse it). i've been a fan for a long ass time, but i got into the GO fandom only last year, and in just a few months i feel like i've gotten so much better, both mental health wise and creatively. i'm a neat little bundle of depression, anxiety, autiADHD, BPD, and cPTSD. isn't that lovely haha. but hey, i'm also a writer. a poet. an artist. and a helluva burned out musician. BUT. ever since i've been hanging out here, i've been writing SO much more, i've been doing fanfics, and so many cool poems, and improving my writing skills so much. i started drawing again after like 2 years of not touching a goddamn pencil, and i just bought some paint and a canvas bc i wanna get back into painting again like i used to when i was younger. and also through reading other GO fics, i've felt inspired to play piano again, which was a great deal to me a few years back. and it's awesome to feel that spark again.

Good Omens has meant a lot to me since i first read it around 2015. but now more than ever because there's a whole community i can share stuff about it with and it feels great. i recently lost a close group of friends, one of my best friends to suicide, and well. my irl dad. and i've been feeling hella lonely for a long time. but i feel like i've been gaining that sense of community again through good omens. and i can't tell you enough how much it means to me. so, idk. i guess i wanted to say thanks for that. and also for being so supportive of trans/queer people. it means the world to me. so. thanks dad. ily

I'm just glad I'm helping.

[scekrex]

Love your writing!!

Can I request an Adam x Lucifer’s Ex! reader? Reader is basically the same rank as Lucifer was (so he’s the same strength as him too) Basically, they split up after he and Lilith got together and gave Eve the Apple. Reader is extremely depressed about it but then he meets one of the humans from Eden, Adam . And they find solidarity and comfort in going through the same/similar situation.

Lowkey giving that one scene from Steven Universe (No idea if you’ve watched/like SU so, if you’re not sure what I’m talking about, I’ll link it here. (If you want, you can probably just skip to the time stamps or watch all of it, either’s fine, but it starts at 2:33 and ends around 3:11

Spoilers for Steven Universe, if you even care.

https://youtu.be/PnlRR0rX_Q0?feature=shared

(The context for the SU scene is ofc different, but just the overall vibe of it is what I mean.) but just 2 people abandoned by someone who was supposed to be their soulmate (Twice for Adam) and them finding love in each other in the end.

(Like, imagine both the fluff AND angst potential.)

Also!! If/After you write this one, I might request a Part 2 of this with angst for the aftermath of EP.8. (ONLY if you’re ok with it OFC! If not, just tell me in your A/N for this one and I won’t send it!!)

I hope you have a great day!!!! 💙💙

Okay first of all: gimme that EP 8 request right now, I need it soooo badly °^° I haven't seen SU but I've watched the scene you linked and it helped to get the vibe right so much, this is a lil short but dragging it out just to make it appear longer felt wrong. I hope you like it though. Also friendly reminder: this is set in Eden before Adam became a douchebag.

Part 2

I'm a jester and I'm yours, call me your fool

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt (with comfort)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Eden had always been the place for you to ge whenever you felt sad or upset, it calmed you down, eased your mind, made your thoughts shut up for only a couple moments. Lucifer had betrayed you, you knew that, you also knew that it had been for the best to end things with him before he would take it too far with his wish for free will and with the things that were going on between him and Lilith. And before you even realized how sad that made you feel, to be betrayed, to be replaced by a mortal soul that would never be as pure as you were, you started crying - it wasn’t loud and if someone wouldn’t have paid attention it was also not visible but Adam did pay attention. Lucifer and Lilith had given Eve the apple, the forbidden fruit, how much further would heaven allow them to go? You weren’t sure. What you were sure about though, was the fact that you missed Lucifer, you missed his warmth, his chaotic yet gentle way of handling things, no matter what it was. You missed his creative mind, his joyful character, the love he had held for you that he had never been able to hide. You missed your clumsy blonde little angel - you shook your head, no, he was no longer yours.

And while you tried to sort your emotions out, the brunette human carefully creeped closer, he noticed your sadness and despite the fact that he didn’t know why you were crying, he felt like he understood without knowing the true reason - he had heard them whispering about it. About how Lucifer had left his boyfriend in order to get together with the first woman, his ex wife, Lilith. And while one loss alone had been seemingly impossible to carry, Adam had not only lost Lilith to his former best friend, he had also lost Eve. Eve, who had tried to talk him into eating the apple as well, he had refused to though, he wanted to remain pure, if she decided that wasn’t for her though, then that was her deal and not Adam’s.

Once he had reached you, he quietly sat down next to you, he wanted to take the sadness away from you, a creature as gorgeous and heavenly as yours should not sit in Eden and cry. He wanted to ask you why you were crying, who caused all those tears but he felt like it wasn’t his place to do so - you were an angel after all. Was he even allowed to sit next to you? The first man didn’t know, but he was sure that if he wouldn’t be allowed near you, you would tell him so. Lucifer might be disobeying heaven’s rules, but you? You looked too pure to do so.

You quickly wiped your tears away as soon as you noticed the presence next to you, when you turned your head to look at the person that had decided to take their place by your side, you were quite surprised to see the face of the first man there. “You look so sad,” the brunette hummed as he reached out to gently touch your cheek. Your golden, broken looking eyes met equally broken brown ones and you somehow found comfort in them, even though they belonged to a total stranger. “Yeah,” you softly chuckled at his words, a small smile forced itself onto your lips, “I guess that’s normal when you get dumped, though.” So the rumors had been true, Lucifer had left his boyfriend for Adam’s former wife. He inhaled deeply, “That’s what love brings.” And yeah, he had a point. Love was able to bring joy and happiness, but it could also take those feelings away from you within seconds. Carefully you leaned into Adam’s touch and closed your eyes as you breathed in the scent of the brunette. “A creature as beautiful as you shouldn’t be sad over losing someone like Lucifer though,” the first man continued and gently caressed your cheek with his thumb, wiping away all remains of your tears. “That’s so easy to say, Adam,” your voice cracked when you said his name and you opened your eyes again, “He was everything.” Adam nodded, he understood, “So was Eve. And Lilith. But sometimes they choose a different path than you do and there is nothing you can do to change that.”

And looking at it that way made you realize that Adam was in the same situation as you were, a situation that tore apart everything just because Lucifer had made a reckless decision. You had lost everything and so had Adam, you were sitting in the same boat, sailing the same ocean of sadness. But now you had found each other, so at least you weren’t sailing alone anymore. “Adam?” you asked quietly as you looked at the first man, making sure you’d get nothing but honesty when your eyes met his, “Can you stay?” And without hesitation the first man nodded, this would not only bring you comfort and take a little bit of the sadness away from you, no, the brunette would also find comfort in this, you would keep his mind busy and that he was very thankful for.

[googleitlol]

Aaaah, I’m sorry if I’m bothering you with all these asks, but I have to know this! How would Black Myth Wukong go with Dove in it, considering the story? Especially with what happened to the original Wukong and her potential interactions with the Destined One?

OOOOOOOH THIS ONE IS INTERESTING!! Also, don't ever apologise for giving me asks to answer, I love yapping so you're doing me a favour. Also I hope you know the vault of angst and depression you just opened

Ok so just letting you know, I have two different endings for PoM I may go with: a happy ending… and a less happy ending. Since I'm already feeling depressed, I'm gonna answer this as though the less happy ending is what happens. In it, Dove gains immortality (but for reasons I won't disclose yet) and is separated from everyone forever, including Wukong. He can't even try to save her because, well… spoilers.

I know the basics of the game lore so sorry if I get anything wrong/misunderstand anything, but this is how I think it'd go. Also, spoilers under the cut for Black Myth Wukong.

TW: Suicide

So from my understanding, the Destined One isn't technically Wukong, but he inherits his memories by the end of the game. With that in mind, I see this going similar to what I've seen of Wukong finding a reincarnated reader, but reversed.

Dove eventually escapes the place she is trapped in, but by the time she makes it back to Flower Fruit Mountain to find Sun Wukong… the worst has already happened. Erlang is the one who tells her how Sun Wukong ended his life, his final plan to free himself from the Heaven's grasp.

Before being separated, Dove had already learned some hard truths from Guan Yin about events concerning her past. Learning about what her master had been keeping secret from her, and then the relief of seeing her love again being crushed by the reality of his suicide, it breaks her. She had spent years fighting to get back to her Peaches, to the one that she could always depend on. He was with her when she learned about Guan Yin's secrets, they had to drag him away from her the day they were separated– it hits her then, the last moment she ever saw him was when he was in pain, clawing at demons that pulled him further away from her. The last she ever saw of those beautiful sunset eyes… they were filled in anguish and rage.

After learning of Sun Wukong's fate, Dove grows bitter and cold. She doesn't return to Potalaka Mountain– she can't stand to be in the presence of any of the deities anymore, not even the one who raised her. Who lied to her. Moksa checks in on her every now and then, from a distance, she won't talk to him either. It's a pitiful sight, how she becomes a shell of her former self. Dove cuts contact with nearly everyone and travels the road on her own, helping people where she can, but no task she does is ever enough to distract her from that emptiness that takes root inside. It's painful, and no matter how hard she tries, that pain won't go away.

Then, by chance, she comes across a monkey demon.

Confusion is the first word that comes to mind when describing her reaction to seeing the Destined One for the first time. Maybe her mind is just playing tricks on her again… but this doesn't feel like she's seeing things. He feels real. Dove has already gone through the emotional ups and downs of meeting a reincarnated loved one before, but this is different. It's different because it's Sun Wukong. There has never been another like him.

She does suppose the same holds true once she spends more time with the Destined One, he isn't like Sun Wukong. He's more… stoic. He doesn't say much, and compared to the talkative Monkey King, it's a little unnerving at first. Is this really the person she loves? It's a question she struggles with as she goes through the game with him, helping him. Travelling with the Destined One, it's almost reminiscent of the original journey. That's what Dove tells herself, anyway.

Whether or not it really is him, it's safe to say any reincarnated/reborn Monkey King would be falling for Dove pretty hard. I'm still figuring out how the Destined One would be around her at first, maybe he's a little put off by this strange immortal woman who decided to tag along with him. She's helpful, so he doesn't mind the company, but that doesn't stop him from wondering why she's with him. Maybe there's one night where she's helping him recover from a serious fight, probably scolding him for something reckless he did as she works her magic and all he can do is frown. Why does she care so much about him?

Whether he can understand her motives or not, he does appreciate it. Having another person to face these hardships with, someone who has his back through the toughest battles and his lowest moments, he's never had that before. Or maybe, it's just something he's missed. It's strange, how she is able to comfort him. Not just because of her tranquil power, it isn't necessarily her calming aura that puts his mind to rest… there's something deeper, something that tugs at his chest and pulls him to her. This longing to be near her.

He wants to know more, ask why she's so intent on helping him, but Dove is good at avoiding questions, she's constantly guarded around him. The Destined One likely wouldn't pry as much as Wukong would in this situation, but his curiosity still kills him inside. Instead of getting his answers from her, he starts finding the answers in his head, with educated guesses. Maybe Dove was just so awe-struck by his handsomeness that she decided to help him in any way she can, on the spot. He liked that theory 😏

As their journey continues, they do warm up to each other more. Maybe they pass through a village in the midst of a celebration and Dove manages to convince the Destined One to dance with her. Sun Wukong did the same for her all those years ago. Maybe one night after setting up camp for the night, the Destined One begins to comb through her hair, not thinking too much of it since it's normal for other monkeys to preen through one another's hair, it's a show of his affection.

Dove is usually so guarded, but in that moment her walls come crumbling down. She tries to push down her silent sobs, but it's difficult. Sun Wukong was the last person to go through her hair like this, and the simple action brings back so many fond memories. When he realises she's crying, he stops but she grabs his hand before he can fully pull away.

"Don't stop, please. It's okay, I'm… I'm okay."

Maybe he pulls her close after that, holding her in his arms as she does the same. There's so much pain in her heart, and all he wants is to take it away. The only question is, how?

By the end of the game where the Destined One gains all of Wukong's memories, so many of Dove's actions become clear to him. She can see in his eyes when he looks at her, a new hint recognition in his features as she realises who she really is, who she was to Sun Wukong.

Even by this point, Dove is conflicted over her feelings for the Destined One. She's come to love him throughout their journey, but is it the same love? Or is there some part of her brain convincing her it has to be the same, that this is the same man she fell in love with. Does she love this new Monkey King, or the memory he represents?

If one thing is for certain, the Destined One is confident in his feelings for her. Even before receiving those memories, he had been falling for Dove with every moment they spent together. If anything, these memories only make his love for her stronger, knowing what they've been through in a past life, how she stayed by him through this new journey because of their past.

…But he can't be sure whether she feels the same. Not when he still doesn't know if he is Sun Wukong, or just holds his memories now. It's something they'd have to work through and figure out together, but one thing is for certain. Dove doesn't plan on leaving anytime soon.

[tan1shere]

Too Late

Ellie Williams x female reader

A/n: it's just one of those days for angst 😍 I put my whole heart into this I hope you all enjoy it <3 also did the paragraphs differently idk which layout I should do. This or my normal one...

Summary: Ellie was blind to it all. But so were you. Blind by her sweet little remarks, sucked in. You fell first but she fell incredibly harder once she realized she'd lost you entirely.

Warnings: not much just angsty angst my friends. NO HAPPY ENDING hehehe sorry not sorry ;)

Masterlist

Tears threatening to spill. For what felt like the thousandth time that week, you've been crying your heart out. Yes that's right, crying over someone who doesn't even glance at you, the way you would like. Doesn't even want anything to do with you... The way you'd like. How could you be so stupid to fall, to cry when they haven't even done anything. Ellie williams, your best friend. Well not right now. You two have been drifting and it hurt like anything. Shes very affectionate towards you, so much that at some points you wonder if she could ever like you for more. You were very stupid to think that even for a second.

Sitting in your room, alone. Text after text. You just wanted to wither away into thin air. Your eyes stung from the constant truckle of tears. But what hurt more, were the texts weren't even from the one person you wanted it to be. You were a bit younger than Ellie, so maybe she just thought of you as a child. That roamed around your brain for what felt like hours. Overthinking to the absolute max. You just wish your brain would zip it. Stop talking to you, just stop. It was silly to think that someone as amazing as her, would ever go for a wreck like you. Turning over in your bed, trying to get your brain to stop antagonizing you.

Fast forward a few days later, you were in your last class of the day, eyes droopy. Dark. Sore. Every possible thing that wasn't good. You were pale from lack of sun, just genuinely looking dead. Exactly how you felt deep inside. Dead. Dead. DEAD. "Y/n?" You get pulled out of your depressing thoughts by a voice. Her voice. You swallow, worried if you look at her you might break and crumble. You turn around looking at your feet, avoiding everything. "Hey, you haven't been in classes recently." You close your eyes for a split second praying that in some random universe this was all a silly dream.

That you were safe in your bed, dreaming this all. But no, ofcourse not. This was reality, she was talking to you and all you wanted to do was puke. Hurl. Your mind was racing. "Everything alright?" Your mouth goes dry, feeling like you can't form any words. You really were dead. So you do the only thing you could think of and just nod. "Babe are you sure?" There it was. That hope. That name. You kept everything in you not to let go completely and just run off to your small apartment, as you didn't live on campus. You finally look up at her, going to be strong as you had finished for the day. Not long to go now. "I'm sure. Just tired." She nods. "Ok well I want you to come with me this avo, I'm having a small party at mine. I miss you, please come."

Does she not understand what she's doing to your little heart. You feel it break more, every single day. You don't know how much longer you can keep going until it fully breaks in half. Jagged edges pinching your organs with that sting of pain. Or do you get over it once that's happened, maybe you want her to hurt you just that much, so even if you're broken you have nothing left to give. No more worries. "Yeah maybe." You go to leave not wanting to continue this any further. But she grabs your wrsit stopping you. "Please. I've missed you these past few weeks. And I have something really exciting to show you." For the first time in what felt like a decade you smile.

She was poisoning you. Your tiny heart started to mend again. Heartbreaking as it was you still loved her so much. You were inlove with her. "Okay, I'll be there." You were still so stupid.

Later on rolled round pretty quickly, your spark had come back again, you still looked like a bit of a mess but nothing a little makeup couldn't fix. Hiding those bags, and dark circles. You decided to wear something cute, maybe in hopes she'd fully see you for you. As you were approaching the dorm room that Ellie lived in you were smiling ear to ear, then suddenly everything in you fades. The door was open music booming, people everywhere. But you saw her. And she wasn't alone. A pretty girl was perched on her lap, they were laughing. Everything went buzzy. Your ears, numb. Your body. She sees you and smiles. Coming over to you hand in hand with this girl.

She looks to be Ellies age. Making your overthinking come face to face with you, as it was true. "Hey, you came! Id like you to meet Layla." You stare at both of them unsure of how to even process anything right now. Your brain was muddled. Hurt. So hurt. Your heart ached. The girl doesn't really say much she just smiles. You get a gross feeling. But you being you. You stay silent. Letting it hurt quietly, not wanting to ruin how happy she looks. But it isn't with you. You gulp thickly. Wanting to do nothing but go home and melt into your sheets.

"I- uhm. I have to go." You abruptly say, letting your small body wisk off, you get into your car and sit there. Feeling like a broken bone, not yet sunk in as the shock still consumes you. But when it hits you. It hits hard. You sob, cry. Break down, putting your head on the steering wheel as you let your heart out. You had gotten your hopes up. Again. In hopes that she'd love you like you loved her. You hit the steering wheel, sobbing with every bit of strength you have left. And just like that your heart was fully broken, no amount of super glue would fix it. No, nothing would fix the ache. The sting. You let out a pained scream as you rest your head back, knowing you can't drive like this.

You get out your phone and call for an Uber, you could pick up your car in the morning when you felt a bit better. But who are you kidding you'd never feel good ever again. It's like the person in you has just deflated. Gone. As you get out you hear her voice. You don't even know if it was a dream or reality. But you didn't care for the calls you couldn't. "What the hell was that." You then hear. You stop in your tracks. Is she really going to be putrid right now. "What...?" You don't turn around. "You heard me, what the fuck is up with you lately." You start to cry more, frustration starting to fuel your body. You slowly turn around. "Are you stupid Williams.." She squints at you. "Excuse me?" You stay silent. Not even sure what to say to her.

"Babe. Just talk to m-" That's when you lost it. "No. NO. stop fucking calling me that. God Ellie. After all these years you don't even fucking know me!" You get a bit sidetracked, letting everything in. "Dont stand there calling me that, you don't know how much it hurts me. When your off with someone else, leaving me behind you say you miss me but where were your texts huh? You're the only one I wanted texts from. I only wanted you." She was speechless. "But no, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you, because if anything im mad at myself. Glad you're happy." Your Uber had pulled up in time. You get in not even looking at her as the vehicle drives off.

Numb. Empty. Dead. You felt emotionless the next day. You truly had no tears left to cry. Like it has been your eyes hurt. But this time, you didn't even care. It was sort of soothing. Comforting to know you could atleast feel something. You hadn't moved that whole night. Hadn't slept. Just laying there. Your theory was right. Your heart was now fully broken, it felt exactly how you had imagined it to. You had nothing left to give. But you were glad about that. Ellie broke your heart to the point where you just lost all that love for her. It was just gone. You scrunch your face up at the sound of a car parking outside. It sounded exactly like your car. And you were greeted with the sound of a knock on your door.

Confusion strikes you. You slowly, emotionlessly. Get up and head over to it. You're greeted with that one person you never wanted to see again. And yet, you don't even care for her arrival. Nor ask why the hell she's even here. You just move, heading back inside and leaving the door open for her to do what she wanted. You did not care. "Hi..." She speaks softly. Your cold, dark. You don't say a word. "I uhm. I had a spare key of yours that you had given me in case of anything so." Silence. Nothing. You go into your kitchen grabbing a glass of water. Was the only thing you felt like. "Me and her aren't..-" She sighs. "She was just using me to make her ex boyfriend jealous and, well. It worked." You turn your head to slightly look at her.

"B- Y/n I'm so fucking sorry-" You don't even know what came over you but you speak. "I'm not inlove with you anymore." She stares at you for a second, letting out another sigh. "I didn't know you were." She responds. You look into her eyes, yours drained and tired. Full of nothing for her, or anyone else in this world for that matter. She saw it now. She didn't the other day because she was so hung up on something that deep down she knew wouldn't end well. She's full of regret, hatred for herself. How could she not of seen any of it. "I can make this up to you, I genuinely want to be with you also-" You then look at her, making her shut up for some reason, worried about your reaction or response. "Guess it's too late for that." Her face drops, watching you going into your room, shutting the door behind you. Leaving Ellie stunned in your living room. Knowing she's lost you for good.

[one-piece-aus]

Hii I hope your day is going well ! I was looking through your masterlist and saw your music hcs from a few years ago for the straw hats and I don't think you did the followup for supernova trio? I was wondering if i could request that myself or even music hcs for all supernovas if possible? Thank you :)

Ahoy! I sorta haven't been getting around to it like many of my other hcs and requests, but I am in the mood to do music related stuff! Also I've broaden my music tastes a lot since last time so I might need to update the Strawhats' later, but for now we're here for-

Music Genres/Artists the Supernovas Listen to (Headcanons)

Law

If your first thought is that he listens to the most edgiest emo music there is, you're absolutely right!/hj

Okay, but being real here, he's gonna be picky about the edgy music, I'd say it leans more to moody rather than depressed

Songs like that would be Something in the Way and Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana, Paint it Black by Rolling Stones, Natural, Bones and (maybe) Enemy by Imagine Dragons, Heathens and Stresssd Out by Twenty One Pilots, Losing My Religion by R.E.M. , Crying Lightning by Artic Monkeys, Duvet by Bòa

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley was 1000% played a repeat nurmous times

Can be found at 1 am - 3 am listening and sometimes singing Wake Me Up Inside/hj

Oblivion by Dirty Palm on the other hand is played here and there but he's not too much a fan of bass songs unless he is at the club drunk and dancing all that stress & trauma off (love that one rave Law fanart )

Viva La Vida by Coldplay is a classic favorite for him

You know, he probably listens to Maneater by Daryl Hall because Dr. Heart Stealer gives those vibes

Enjoys the SIAMÉS album Bounce Into The Music but would also find comfort in their album Home

His go to genres would be soft rock or alternative rock but isn't opposed when it comes to certain pop songs like Don't You Worry Child (catch him at the right time and he will get emotional over that song)

Enjoys the older stuff & independent artists (I remember reading Law is German so many he'd like German music?)

Artists he listens to: Nirvana, Coldplay, Three Doors Down, Franz Ferinard, Artic Monkeys, The Score, Imagine Dragons, and Fall Out Boy

Kid

Metal Music

Was that not obvious?

Loves the classics

Metallica, Guns & Roses, Thrasher, Black Sabbath, Rob Zombie, Three Days Grace, Smashing Pumpkins

He enjoys rock

The Offspring, Foo Fighters, Skid Row, Rolling Stones, Finger Eleven, Ozzy Osborne, AC/DC

He enjoys some new bands like Yungbund, Blacklite District, and Goku Luck

I know there's pirate metal but he gives more viking metal vibes (does listen to both)

You know he's jamming out to the second Death Note opening & Kaiju No. 8's opening

Traitor by Daughtry and Unstable by Chaotica

He might like phonk

Says rap is crap (who's gonna tell him Goku Luck is hiphop)

Allergic to Country/serious

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is not Metal

Psst, can I let you in on a little secret? He secretly listens to Lady Gaga, don't tell anyone or he'll kill you

Killer

Listens to most of the stuff Kid does but also has his own tastes

Nickel Back, Coldplay, Valley of Wolves, Unsecret, Skillet, One OK Rock, Meatloaf, Opal in Sky, Okamoto, The Cranberries, and Man With a Mission

Killer is more familiar with sea shanties than Kid

He enjoys listening to Uta (Ado), his favorite song of hers would be Gira Gira because he does relate to the lyrics (he really wanted to go to her concert but the crew probably got caught up doing business on another island and missed it)

Secretly would go to a 90s pop rave, waving glowsticks as artists like 2 Unlimited blast through the speakers/silly

Is the kind of Metalhead that says Nu Metal is Metal (not in front of Kid though)

Also allergic to country/serious

Hawkins

Dark Academia and Goth Ambience

He enjoys the somber pianos, it's peaceful and helps him study

Organ pianos are pleasing to him as well, if played right

He might be able to play piano but the violin (which is another instrument he enjoys listening to) is tricky to find the rhythm he prefers

Does love classic violin yet finds the epic violin music videos on YouTube to be appealing

And if he’s not listening to that, meditation/ambiance music is playing

Unironically listens to background music from video games such as Minecraft or Genshin Impact

Moonlit Night from the Death Parade OST is one of his favorites

If you can't tell, he enjoys soothing instrumentals

Is a big fan of Tchaikovsky

Enjoys music from 90s Disney (Cinderella especially)

Absolutely listens to Phantom of the Opera! Look at this man! You can't tell me he doesn't!

Probably enjoys French love songs

Apoo

DJ Apoo is in the house and you know he's all about the funky music!

80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, and even 20s, he loves all the rave & bass boost songs

Eurodancer, Daft Punk, 2 Unlimited, it's all a bop

Hip-hop & Rap are his jam (his taste for that would not be mine so you may list them here)

Apoo is pretty organized with his playlists, being a DJ and all, has most of them separated by genre

He thinks listening to music from Anime, Movies, and Video Games is stupid (*hands you your baseball bat*)

Drake

His ass is boring

He listens to whatever is playing on the radio

Not much of a music guy so he doesn't have any custom playlists

He might be fond of a few songs that come on the radio

Music to Drake is mainly just background noise when driving

While he doesn't mind someone playing their music, he prefers if he can understand the lyrics

Drake will easily get flustered if he hears spicy songs being played, especially if someone else is there, if he’s alone he’s instantly changes the station

Bonney

Popstars by KDA

I think her taste leans to rebellious as in "Fuck you, I do what I want"

So her taste can go from Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time by Panic At The Disco, to Seven Nation Army by White Stripes

Artists she listens to on the regular would be The Offspring, Panic At The Disco, BTS(?), P!nk, Fallout Boy, Cozmez, Fake Type, UNSECRET, and Eminem

Maybe a few Kelly Clarkson songs like Stronger and Since You've Been Gone

She does not like others putting on music, you can expect her to make a fuss if you try putting on something

Auxcord hog

Bege

The Godfather OST/hj

But for real he does like Italian instrumentals

Has a taste for soft love ballets

A few French and Spanish songs are appealing to him

He doesn't like pop, hip hop, rock, metal, or rap, and doesn't understand why the youth enjoy it so much

Except for 80s J-pop, he can see the appeal for songs such as Airport Lady by Toshiki Kadomatsu or Telephone Number by Junko Ohashi

And soft rock, specially the love songs like Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel or Can't Help Falling in Love With You by Elves (he just loves his wife, guys)

Urouge

So basing this off one of his hobbies Oda has confirmed

He loves seductive music, whether it’s playing in the background or he looking for something to listen to

Most played songs is Careless Whispers

Jazz and spicy pop are his top genres

Prime examples are: Mirrors by Natalia Kills, Sway by Michael Bublé, Pause by Pitbull, One More Night by Maroon 5, Stalker's Tango by Autoheart Lent

I could make playlists for them if y'all want but for now, do what you will with these headcanons, make your own playlists ✨️

[deathbxnny]

Ik i already sent a request to you but.. once you said you’re also accepting JJK requests. I just had to. I hope you dont mind this

Ok so im not into JJK as much as i am into Genshin and HSR and all but im aware of season 1 plot and some of season 2. But can i request Gojo and Geto with an underclassmen who they have a sibling like relationship die and came back as a curse spirit? (While this request have them together, you can make them seperate if you want)

Here the context:

So the reader is a year below Gojo and Geto. After some time since you guys met, the two of them sees the reader as their cute little sibling and in return the reader sees them as their cool big brothers. All was fine until the reader died from a mission. How did the reader die? They dont know. Both of them werent told how the reader died but if there’s one thing they were sure of, the reader wasnt killed by Jujutsu. Because what other explanations do they have when they see you come back as a vengeful spirit? A vengeful spirit they need to take out.

So in the JJK wiki, it is said that “Sorcerers must also be killed with Jujutsu or they can become a vengeful cursed spirit after death” Which makes a very good angsty sceanrio dont you think?

Hope you have a great day/night!

- Flower Anon 🌸

Hey there, Flower anon!! I absolutely love this idea, and thank you very much for the tasty angst. I've been itching to write some jjk angst, haha. Also, regarding your other request for the second part to the Lyney x reader one-shot, just know that I will make it in a separate post to your ask due to formatting issues! But either way, I hope you meanwhile enjoy this!<33

Content: Heavy angst, platonic relationships, Geto is deeply depressed, Gojo is in denial, hurt/no comfort, reader is a year younger than both of them, vague descriptions of readers death, mentions of blood/injuries, vague descriptions of jjk canon violence, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

Inspired by the song "Death" by Melanie Martinez

((Not fully proofread))

Back from the dead.

At first, you appeared in the flickers of lights, in the corners of mirrors, in the shadows casted by trees and their own bodies, in reflections of windows and water, in gruesome, awful dreams.

And then you began being there in larger ways. You'd stand behind them, follow them around, no matter where they went, no matter where they looked, you were right there.

It was easy to ignore you at first, act like you didn't exist, like you were just a part of their traumatised, exhausted imagination. When was the last time they had slept properly? Perhaps the day before your funeral. Your face was plastered everywhere, a smile gracing it like it always did, an excited, pure one for a sorcerer. But there was nothing to be excited about anymore.

Maybe that's why you looked so sad now, as you stood in front of them in this classroom that was reserved for people a year older than you'll ever be.

Suguru wondered if you felt guilty for taking the color of their world away with you when you died.

"You know... denial never suited you, 'toru." You whispered quietly to Satoru, breaking this suffocating silence at last. Your body leaned against the desk a row in front of him. It all felt so casual, as though everything was perfectly fine. You never left. You simply came back a little different.

This was the first thing you've ever said since you've come back, Suguru then solemnly realised in his depressive haze. He nearly didn't hear you and wished he hadn't either. Your voice sounded distorted, like it didn't belong to you at all. But it was still you... wasn't it?

The only visible sign that Satoru meanwhile had even heard you was in a stutter of his hands that in turn messed up his text to Shoko again. He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. What was he even texting her for again? Maybe for help? For a way out? "I'm seeing things again, Shoko. They're talking now." That's what your colorless eyes could read off his broken phone screen, which made you frown a little. You knew he'd never want to upset you. But he never wanted to face you again. Not like this.

It was so unlike him too, wasn't it? He hadn't been the same for a while now.

It was late in the afternoon by then, the orange hue filtering into the empty classroom through the blinds. An awfully nostalgic feeling that was now filled with tense bitterness. A past filled with laughter and joking now seemingly disappearing into the smoke of the burning incense sticks nearby.

Neither of them had said a single word for the entire duration of your little "hang out" session. Suguru simply leaned his head against his palm, gaze turned to a far away point in the darkening horizon outside, as the sun bid it's last warm goodbye. He took a deep breath, words shaky and filled with a deep exhaustion, not even his dear best friend could ever come close to feeling.

"Let him be... he'll come around eventually." The blackhaired boy muttered back to you, not bothering to look at your bloody, dead form anymore. He had come to terms with it a while ago. Or at least, visibly, he has.

Gojo just took a little longer in accepting your death, is all. Neither of them really knew who was handling the situation worse.

"Who are you talking to, Suguru?" There it was again, the odd denial the white-haired teen had drowned himself in. You never thought that he'd be the one to end up like this. You figured that Suguru would've had it harder, but perhaps this was just one of the many new things you've learned as a spirit. "Stop it, Satoru... you're not helping with any of this. It's just... making things worse." Gojo's teasing smile twitched, his head turning to look at his friend before he seemed to slowly deflate into his seat. You probably could only imagine how red and puffy his eyes were behind the sunglasses he refused to take off nowadays.

But in a way, you must've also understood why he was this way. How couldn't you?

Your death was untimely, unexplainable. No one knew what happened, and your body was never found either. One day, you were absolutely excited about going on a mission with your two favorite seniors, four hours later, you were missing, and a week later, you were declared as dead. The only proof they really had was a piece of your bloody uniform floating in a river nearby where the mission was supposed to take place. Other than that, there was no trace of anything else regarding you.

Suguru wished they would've at least had something to bury you with. Your casket was empty. And Satoru was ashamed to admit that he dared open the lid in a desperate attempt to see if you were in there after all. Just hiding, waiting to jump out and scare him. But seeing nothing made him break.

Everything got worse when you reappeared as this, however. A vengeful spirit that simply followed the both of them everywhere. You were relentless. And yet, neither of them could ever find a single trace of anger on you. Their guilt was heavy enough to make up for it, though.

It didn't help that Satoru refused to talk about it, even when they knew what they had to do. You only ever appeared around them, and both of them had made the unspoken decision to deal with you themselves. They felt like they had caused your death indirectly. The what if's kept piling up higher and higher until it eventually brought them here.

They thought that they were finally ready to move on, but oh, how wrong they were. It was so hard to see you as a simple spirit to exercise when you still looked like yourself most of the time. It just got bad when you looked dead. They couldn't hide behind their excuses and delusions when you looked like this.

Time ticked on and the silence was deafening again. You leaned in close to Satoru, glossy eyes staring into his side profile. "Stop ignoring me. I know what you're here for." You hummed, face devoid of any emotion. But the constant dripping of the blood that poured out of your nose and lips made Gojo close his eyes for a second longer and gulp down the painful lump in his throat. It was childish, absolutely stupid. But maybe... if he acted like you weren't there like always... then you wouldn't be. You were just a hallucination, surely. Neither of them had slept or eaten properly in months. He just had to pray that you'll go away, finally find the peace you were looking for.

But when he opened his eyes and you were still there, he just bit his lip. He couldn't take any of this anymore.

"Tell them to go away, Suguru. Please." "So you're finally done pretending now?" The blackhaired male asked, glancing back at his friend for the first time in hours. The great Satoru Gojo. The strongest of them all. Now reduced to nothing more than a miserable teen at your death. It would've been funny if he wasn't actually losing it right now.

Suguru shook his head at the lack of response before getting out of his chair and standing over the white-haired sorcerer. "Let's go outside." He said, not waiting for the other to agree before pushing past you. Or rather through you. He shoved his hands into his pockets to hide this really was for him. As expected, however, he heard Satoru's footsteps following behind him with ease. Typical.

The walk was silent and rather aimless. Neither of them knew where they were going. But their subconsciousness seemed to know. Suguru's body felt heavy, like he was dragging and fighting himself with every next step he took. He felt uneven and unbalanced. Like he'll fall over and break apart at any moment, and he doubted Satoru would be able to glue him together with shaky hands and teary eyes.

Geto pulled a hand through his black hair, strands unkempt and messy as they fell down hus shoulders. He caught a glance at his face in a mirror, the dark circles, even darker eyes staring back at him near accusingely. The anger and festering hate hidden under a thick layer of sadness.

"They weren't killed by a sorcerer." He suddenly said when they arrived at the schools courtyard. Satoru glanced at him, frowning a little. "Why does it matter now?" He asked, yet his best friend didn't bother answering. Why should he bother when the white-haired male was unwilling to wake up to reality. Instead, he stared at the Sakura trees filling the area, the ones you loved the most. And as expected, you stood right under them.

Your hands were clasped behind your back, smile so gentle and serene, that it made it look like you were simply waiting on them as always. And in a way, you were indeed doing so. Geto was thankful that your consciousness was strong enough for you to realise what was going to happen next. "Can you do it, Satoru?" He whispered, voice so soft, that it made Gojo actually consider it for a moment. But despite always having prided himself in being the strongest, he just stood still. Suguru couldn't help but smile tiredly at him. Perhaps the other boy would be happy about this if his smile didn't seem so bitter and exhausted. Like it took up all of his energy to force the corner of his lips to go up.

"I think they are the one thing I could never exorcize." "I'm glad you're being honest... I can't do it either." The two boys approached the empty bench next to your form before simply sitting down. There was a large gap between them, one reserved for you.

Your smile stretched wider as you took their silent offer of defeat and took a seat as well.

Gojo tensed when you leaned your head against his shoulder, a familiar melody leaving your lips. Suguru leaned his arms on his knees and listened to you, eyes closing with a tired sigh. Perhaps playing pretend was easier. Perhaps you were never meant to leave them in the first place. Maybe one day someone would free them from you, someone who was stronger, someone who wasn't ever going to be them.

You were back from the dead, and they figured it was better than you having left them for good.

If only they could ignore the mangled state of your body too.

Alright, I'm sorry this took so long! I also don't think it's that good, but I hope you like it anyway, Flower Anon! I've been super busy with work and everything else going on in my life, so I'm glad to post anything at this point. Anyhow, thank you again for this great request!<33

[mikodrawnnarratives]

TW BLOOD

(bit ltr on)

TW REFERENCED CHARACTER DEATH

@naffeclipse

Part 1 | Part 2 | This is Part 3 | Extra

Gonna add some after comic shenanigans because I have thought of a LOT

It'll be linked as Extra

likely will be comprised of memes with maybe some serious

Long post under the cut!

And rambling right after like. a lot. jkfdjklsd

It’S DONE

Well besides the extras and memes I’ll include in another part that. I don’t know when I’ll finish. But stay tuned I’m gonna go ham. I can't wait to share the memes especially loll

Fair warning my rambling here gets a little all over the place so if I repeat myself. Sorry lol. 

If I knew how to include a second read more I would

anyway , I think I've made this comic lighter towards the end of this comic (both on purpose with the backgrounds and story lol) but this ending I hope is a combination of bittersweet and hopeful. Y/n gets to have a new family and connection to humanity that I think would be beneficial. 

How they’d take finding out Y/n is a VAMPIRE is it’s own can of worms that you can decide for yourself how would go down. Best outcome is that Y/n continues to watch over the generations influenced by Vanessa and her family during their immortality. 

Gregory and Cassie still haven’t been introduced in the Naff’s Cryptid Sightings universe by the time I post this, so if/when they are their characterization most likely will be different. And ggy likely won’t be placed in the au. Which is completely understandable! Tho an alternative path following canon fnaf more with 3 star fam, ggy n such is a concept I LOVE in the Cryptid Sightings world! I’ll go into it more ltr

Greg and Cass already have cryptid parents but now they get Uncle Eclipse and Uncle/Aunt/Pibling/Auncle/Etc Y/n. And Y/n gets to have one more purpose in protecting these ppl they will grow to care a lot about that knew Vanessa when Y/n couldn’t connect with her. Lots of sharing stories abt Vanessa occurs.

I’ll joke abt this in the extras & memes part but I think It would be so funny if Y/n can one moment be depressed and then Eclipse mentions Cass & Greg and they’re like “RIGHT I NEED TO PLAN HOW IM GONNA SPOIL THEM FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY” or “I LOST TO GREGORY LAST TIME IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN” or “I NEED TO CHECK UP ON THEM AND MAKE SURE THEY’RE ACTUALLY RESTING AFTER THEY FOUGHT THAT CRYPTID”

Eclipse is simultaneously grateful they have a new source of motivation, they haven’t seen you like this in a while, and he doesn’t dislike Gregory or Cassie. BUT since Cassie and Gregory are still Cryptid Hunters, it isn’t IDEAL lmao

On to elaborating on the comic: I love 3 star fam (by extension cassie) and Vanessa had growth offscreen so now her dying wish to y/n is like:

Nessie: hey. Make sure my kids (that aren't kids anymore) don't die ok cool cool

Sure Greg and Cass have Freddy and Roxy but between:

Demonic cryptids that have no experience being a human NOR a cryptid hunter human at that 

Vs

Friend that might just be there still since if these cryptids could have humanity there's a chance my friend sending me memes that are so in character with their personality is ALSO still human despite being vampire and maybe ness & them could reconcile and Greg and Cass could finally meet the only person ness would have considered family and-

Nessie never would have considered y/n still having their humanity if it weren't for Freddy and by extension Roxy 

And btw Ness would not have given her phone to y/n if she wasn't sure that y/n wouldn't hurt Greg and Cass.

She. Didn't expect y/n to go the extra mile and meet them in person. The phone would give y/n their contact information and all the photos of memories they missed out on

Y/n cries when they unlock ness's phone and Nessie still hadn't changed her password

The video she made that y/n sees at the end is when she was first entertaining the idea of y/n possibly still having their humanity, but still wasn’t sure. It was a video that she only ever planned on y/n seeing if she either died and/or she was sure y/n was still human in some regard. She wanted to leave y/n with something in that scenario.

Vanessa here meeting Vanessa in Cryptid Sightings and Lost episode canon would certainly be something. Vanessas from canon Cryptid Sightings would just. Not know how Vanessa got over it and neither does Ness here know

Also, there are some details for this canon divergence au that are completely settled to me and other details I don't have a solid idea for. Like, I'm not SET on how Nessie and Greg would meet, ness and Cass, if it would be at the same time, who would be doing the glitchtrapping.  Prob becuz some of those are still unclear in canon canon FNAF and others I'm just indecisive

I'll leave it a little loose, up in the air

Also the possession being done by the same cryptid wouldn’t be possible with Cryptid sighting’s universe rules so. I’m not gonna bother figuring out those details for this comic. 

But I do love the idea of Nessie growing closer to Greg and Cass and at least Ness and Greg sharing a bond over dealing with Glitchtrap

Speaking of glitchtrapped GGY in cryptid au-

The wizards FAVORITE now being in same universe as demonic cryptids that would absolutely want to slaughter Glitchtrap for possessing a KID? Making him kill multiple people, including a kid his age? Tasty. Scrumptious. I want to make a separate post just thinking Abt how canon crew for cryptid sightings might react to GGY, especially Cryptid Sun & Moon/Eclipse. I'll save most of that rambling for that potential post since there's so much angst potential. 

While im here, I’ll ask. Naff, how would Eclipse react to a child, possessed by a demonic cryptid, having killed other children? Or. Is that a spoiler since these characters could be introduced in a reunion work and whether Cassie gets possessed to mirror canon fnaf is still up in the air? 👀

@/puhpandas can be blamed for my brain rot of the GGY story and dr rabbit stuffs and the potential it could bring.

Tho I don't expect to see GGY in any continuations of cryptid sightings lol I don't know how that would work when cryptid sightings already has laid down rules for possession in that universe and Glitchtrap is already gone. I'll happily see what Gregory and Freddy are like when they (hopefully) appear in future continuations of cryptid sightings

But since this is canon divergence I can indulge in three star fam real quick

To follow canon canon FNAF (or at least the fanon built off of the scrapped security breach canon as well as what stayed in sb), Vanessa would be saved by Gregory and Freddy, I'm undecided if Cassie would join in sooner or later. Nessie would regardless have to stomach being around kids that remind her of her trauma since she can't just fully IGNORE them. Gregory would have no one since I love the angst of the theory he killed his loving family as GGY 

So. Nessie would probably know that and it would make the situation hard.

Vanessa would grow a bond with Gregory and Freddy at some point, Gregory has a head start  due to. Y'know. Glitchtrap. Hard to not have some sort of connection to the kid that went through what you did too.

Anyway, Vanessa here would be saved by Gregory and Freddy to match up with canon. Or at least, the fanon I subscribe to for security breach since canon was lack luster and scrapped all the good ideas for Vanessa last minute.

Nessie and Gregory would have the shared experience of dealing with Glitchtrap trauma and Cassie gets roped, just like canon, with the whole Mimic situation. Then Nessie has two kids that she can't fully ignore but also can't stomach COMPLETELY being there for. Fun.

But since I adore 3 star fam too much, Vanessa is able to grow attached to Gregory like a big sister eventually (i adore big sis nessie dkljssfkld look at @/boringa55binch 's stuff you'll get ITTT)

When I'd imagine Cassie would be introduced, I bet Nessie would have a harder time with her around since what we've seen of Cassie in canon is only of her getting fooled. I bet Nessie would have a harder time around her for that reason.

But it's not like she COULD leave them completely alone since she's the one with the most cryptid hunting experience. And if these kids are SO INSISTENT about getting into trouble, fine. She owes them after all

I've been undecided if Cassie would be apart of the gang when Nessie is saved so that's up in the air for what ppls like most

Time skip is about 20-30 years ltr I've determined so, Ness did die when she was relatively young. (The circumstances of how she died are a plot device yes i will admit shush it isn’t terribly important sorry jklfdsjksfd)

I'm not the greatest at drawing aged characters so there you have it, Cassie and Gregory are in their late twenties early thirties.

Nessie knows it is a gamble to ask Y/n this favor. But, she's a worried big sis, being around Roxy and Freddy I bet would have softened her heart to the general idea of cryptids not being bad, and y/n doesn't seem to be bad atm. It could be a ghost that'll haunt watch over them, or Nessie's best friend can continue to be long distance buds with Nessie's new family.

And if Y/n was truly gone and all that remained was the vampire tendencies, by this point she has trust Gregory, Cassie, Freddy, and Roxy can keep each other safe. If it was truly a mistake to give y/n her trust.

So, that's why y/n hypes themself up and visits the graveyard when Gregory is there. And it did take a lot out of them but y'know I like the idea of y/n getting close with the gang.

It does make the next cryptid reunion a little weird.

Y/n & Eclipse: YOU DIDN'T MENTION VANESSA WAS A PART OF THE CREW NOW??

Freddy & Roxy: YOU NEVER TOLD US ABOUT VANESSA

Like, imagine both describing Vanessa in previous reunions, and NOW they're finding out it was the same person.

Vampire reveal set aside for later, this is y/n's newest reason to LIVE (mentioned earlier im gonna indulge on details down here)

They can't die yet! They still have memes to send to these kids! Jokes to tell! Series to make them binge with Y/n over a call! This is the gosh darn happiest Eclipse has seen them in decades!!

Flipping between seeing Gregory and Cassie as their nephew and niece and competing with Freddy and Roxy over the title of parent. Regardless of age. (they joke but Y/n never actually competes for the title, they are much too anxious of doing something wrong. Plus, Roxy and Freddy would be pretty tough to beat)

I also think it would be hilarious if Y/n sent out Eclipse with a chancla when Gregory does a Human Hero Complex goof up that painfully reminds y/n of their Human Hero Complex goof ups. He isn't allowed to make the same mistakes without consequence. And y/n WILL stay back in the bushes with goggles to SEE IT HAPPEN. Eclipse ain't worried abt y/n's mental state when they're too invested with their Nephew and Niece.

Gregory: We are adults.

Y/n: Yeah but you're also stupid humans who don't know when to quit.

Eclipse does get a chuckle they're now complaining so much abt human's having these stupid hero/martyr complexes when they were a human not so long ago themself lol

and

didn't mention before but

Y/n and Vanessa compared to Cassie and Gregory parallels that would could be explored.

ANYWAY (get an “anyway” tracker for this post 💀)

Cryptid Sightings doesn't have Cassie or Gregory in their cast of characters yet so (i think I mentioned this earlier but still), this could age. As of writing this, no reunion fic has been published. Might make a note of that if I release this after the fact. But still. Indulge with me in the hyjinks. I haven’t even begun on Freddy being a dad to y/n and possible Roxy dynamic with y/n lolll.

This au of an au of an au still has lots of angst to be explored like. Oh yeah, Gregory was controlled by Glitchtrap too and has a fuck ton of ptsd SINCE HE WAS TWELVE

Fun discussion for later at thanksgiving over zoom. One that Greg is just like: Can we get back to video games pls. now.

The bombshell that will be Y/n revealed to be a Vampire is still up in the air like I said earlier. But, y'know, it might go better this time.

Y/n hopes for that. Hopes. Funny, you haven't smiled this much in a while.

Vanessa's death hurts. Both of them were too young for their fates. It hurt especially when they were saying goodbye for the very last time. Nessie's death was coming and Y/n knew that, but at the same time. Y/n can focus on caring about people Nessie cared about. People Nessie trusted them to care for.

I like the idea of Y/n continuing to watch over and keep in contact with the people Nessie has impacted in some way. Nessie to Gregory and Cassie to whoever they inspire and have become their successors. And they got so much more they are looking forward to now. Knowing humans and sticking around them even digitally has its risks but I think it could be pretty grounding. They have even more dates to look forward to aside from halloween. Which, will be fun to celebrate with Gregory and Cassie fam.

They can't wait to do some more living.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲: easy tips to form healthy habits ( based on this alessya farrugia video )

lately i've been having trouble being productive and finding a healthy balance between study, passions, exercise and free time. i've been searching for a long time online for advices and ideas that could help me find my serenity, and my searches led me to this. i hope you appreciate it.

pro tip do not try to improve everything all at once, you're gonna fail. just try to incorporate something small in your routine to start forming healthy habits. it might take months, but one year from now it will all be worthy.

𝟭. don't hit snooze ( ⏰ )

the "snooze" button is definitely my worst enemy, i simply don't want to get up and start a new day that will be tiring and hard, but when i realized the reasons why putting off the alarm is so harmful for me i seriously started to stop doing it. you will actually wake up even more tired and sleep-deprived after the second or third alarm goes off, since falling back to sleep after having already woken up causes your brain to begin a new "sleep cycle" that takes 75 minutes to complete, abruptly interrupting these cycles brings unpleasant side effects such as tiredness, irritability and headaches.

bonus start waking up at the same time every day, this will not only help consolidate your routine but is scientifically proven that it significantly reduces levels of anxiety and depression.

𝟮. don't check your phone (📱)

i've always spent at least an hour scrolling through social media right after waking up every day, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that it's not exactly the healthiest thing in the world. do not go on your phone for at least 30min/1h after waking up. i know it seems hard ( i have a severe phone addiction so i understand ) but i guarantee you that your days will be so much more stress free and productive. why? going on your phone as soon as you wake up gives you an instant hit of dopamine ( for more info, check this post ) that is gonna literally ruin your day, because your brain is gonna pretend more and more dopamine for the rest of the day in order to function properly.

𝟯. have a glass of water ( 🫗 )

you didn't drink for 8 hours or more so it's time to rehydrate your body. i hate drinking water as soon as i wake up so you can try adding some lemon juice to give it more taste, you can also try some herbal tea if it's winter and you don't feel like drinking cold water first thing in the morning, but avoid caffeine ( and theine ) for at least one hour after waking up. exactly like the hit of dopamine that your phone gives you, caffeine and similar stimulants will have the same effect on your body.

𝟰. have a cold shower ( 🚿 )

ok, i'm not one of those gurus who tells you to get up at 5 in the morning, take an ice bath and run 12 km before 7am, but switching to cold water for the last two minutes of your morning shower will have some benefits invaluable for you and your body. first of all it helps to wake you up, because it stimulates the nerve endings and makes the brain more active, it also helps to tone the skin and make the hair shinier. it's a difficult thing, but doing something like this in the morning will help your brain cope better with the workload during the day. it also reduces stress and anxiety, since the cold can activate the production of endorphins ( known as "happy hormones" ).

𝟱. physical and mental care ( 💕 )

take five or ten minutes to just look after yourself, do skincare - it doesn't have to be a deep session, just a little moisturizer and lip balm -, meditate, journal, cut out a few minutes from your morning routine where you leave out for a while all the negative thoughts, stress and anxiety, your body is your temple and you must treat it with reverence, your mind is your home, your safe place, and deserves your attention.

𝟲. get direct sunlight ( ☀️ )

apply some sunscreen and go get some sunlight, the benefits are so many that i couldn't list them all: i quote, production of vitamin D ( very important especially if you are a woman ), improved mood and, in general, physical and mental health, sleep regulation, improved skin. i know it's not always possible, especially in winter when there is very little sun, but for example if you have the chance to walk to school or work on a beautiful sunny spring day, take it!

𝟳. make the bed ( 🛏️ )

why should i make my bed if i'm going to have to sleep in it in the evening anyway? well, this is the mistake that i very often make and i admit that i am guilty of it. however, not making the bed is exactly the reason that pushes me to go back there immediately and sleep again. making your bed in the morning as an act of discipline will not only improve your self-esteem and make you less want to go back to sleep, but it will make your room seem cleaner and generally improve your environment, making you feel more productive and satisfied. completing that little task in the morning, even if it's small and simple, will give you motivation and will push you through the day.

𝟴. high-proteine breakfast ( 🥞 )

make sure you eat a balanced, protein-rich breakfast that will keep you feeling full until your next meal. it is useless to limit calories especially in the morning when we need an extra boost, this will only make us feel more tired and irritable and will significantly decrease our productivity.

[starlight-writer]

Randomly Cuddling Them

A/n: Hahaha hiiii (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）it's meeeee I'm baaaaack In all seriousness, I've been dealing with a shit ton of stuff and summer depression is kicking my ass. I'm sorry I haven't posted in ages even when I promised I would, I just haven't been able to motivate myself to write. I won't promise you guys a schedule or another fic anytime soon, but I will say that I have no intentions of deleting this blog or stopping writing all together. Just be patient with me and to those who have requested things, I'm sorry I haven't answered them. They'll all come in due time :) In the meantime, have some fluff to make you forget about your depression.

Warnings: none, fluff, slight angst(?)

Gn Reader Masterlist

Steven

Welcomes the cuddle with open arms

He'll ask if you’re ok a few times, just wanting to make sure his darling is feeling well

He'll pet your hair and start talking about his day or a new book he's read to fill the silence

"You wouldn't believe the ending though! The main character has to sacrifice his "

Just sort of talks about anything to fill the comfortable silence, hoping it'll distract you from anything that's stressing you out

Definitely playfully brags to Jake and Marc in the headspace during and after the cuddles

"They wanted to cuddle with me :D"

Once you're ready to pull away, he'll give you a kiss on the forehead and continue reading or whatever it was before, but keeps an eye on you

He isn't sure what brought on the cuddles, and while he loves them, he wants to make sure you're ok

If you start looking upset or frustrated with a task, he'll gently pull you away from whatever you're doing and sit you on the couch

"Lovey, you can finish it later, just sit with me for a bit yeah?"

He'll pull you into his chest and read aloud from his book or ramble about something to distract you

He'll play with your fingers, interlacing them and kissing your finger tips before holding your hand to his face

"Love you, darling"

He'll say in the sweetest voice, you'll forget all about the stresses of the day or the stresses of tomorrow

Mission accomplished

Marc

He's a little caught off guard, but pulls you into his arms eagerly

He'll never turn down cuddles (cough touch starved cough)

He'll run his fingers through your hair or rub his hand up and down your back

He'll ask if you're ok, but won't push past that

He'll stay silent unless you ask him to talk

"Uh... I saw a lizard earlier today. It reminded me of you cause it was cute :)"

He's trying his best

If you stay in his arms for a long period of time, he'll start to think something might be wrong so he'll start making really really bad jokes

"I went to the deli earlier and the sausage they gave me was the wurst :D"

He won't stop until you laugh and he's not above tickling you until you pee your pants

It's like he unlocks a little box inside his head of terrible jokes and playfulness just for the purpose of seeing you smile

After the cuddles session, he'll watch over you carefully

If you start looking stressed or tired or anything but relaxed, he'll pop off with another joke

"Ya know, babe, I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me."

Is that a frown on your perfect lips? Not on his watch

"I don't think I told you this before, but I used to be able to play piano by ear. Now I have to play it with my hands."

Eventually, if you start looking too stressed, he'll just pull you into another cuddle session

"Can't have my baby getting stressed."

He'll explain, kissing you on the forehead and shushing you if you try to leave

He'll carry you to bed or the couch, locking you underneath him with his head on your chest

"So comfy, might just fall asleep here."

He snores loudly, trying to coax a giggle or two out of you

And when you fall asleep from the warmth he gives off, he'll watch you with love in his eyes

"Goodnight, babe. I love you."

Jake

There're two ways this could go depending on how he feels

He could be very smug about it, hold you tightly to his chest, mutter things like 'poor bebito/a, so needy for their Papi~' and make sexual or teasing jokes to lighten the mood

Or he could hold you securely in his arms, run his fingers across your back, occasionally kiss your head, and ask in a hushed voice 'what's wrong, mi amor?'

He thrives on physical affection, so either way he's incredibly happy to give it to you

Whether it be a quick kiss, setting his hand on the small of your back as he walks by, resting his hand on your thigh as he drives, or just touching your knee with his in a crowded space, he loves all of it

And depending on why you suddenly held onto him, he'll be very attentive

If he's making jokes when you just want to be held, he'll pick up in it right away and mutter a small apology with a kiss

He'll hum a song he heard on the radio, he'll keep his breathing long and slow to help calm you down if needed, he'll even read you one of Steven's 'boring' books

He's like Marc in a way, they'll both do absolutely everything in their power to make you smile or laugh if the situation calls for it

If you've gotten your fill of cuddles and start to pull away, he'll pout and pull you back down, muttering something about feeling cold without you on top of him

Which is a lie, they run extremely hot which has cancelled many cuddle sessions in the summer because 'It's too hot, Jake! And don't give me those puppy eyes!'

He refuses to let you go until you explicitly tell him you want him to

He'll act all sad, but he lets you go after a passionate kiss

Openly watches you closely afterwards, determined to see any slip of annoyance or frustration so he can whisk you away to your shared room and cuddle the stress away

And the second your brow twitches in frustration, he's coming up behind you and hugging you

"Bebito/a, dance with me."

He'll say, already swaying to the music playing in his head

He'll spin you around and subtly drag you away from the chore or work you were doing with a charming smile and his swaying hips

When you've rested your head on his chest and sigh softly, following the shuffling of his feet and sway of his hips, he knows he's succeeded in calming you down

[draxumain]

I AM IN CONTROL AFFIRMATION TAPE REVIEW

Heyy!!

It's officially been a week since I've used @adambja self-concept affirmation tape, and oh boy, do I have some news!!

I made a list of all the things I was going to manifest beforehand, you know, to tick them all off.

I followed her instructions, and listened to it everyday for 1 hour. I listened whilst I ate, studied, on the way to my courses and whilst I was chilling. I didn't want to stress and strain myself by finding time and forcing myself to listen to them so I instead mixed it into my busy schedule rather than separating it, because why not?

And oh boy, the results were glorious!

Here's the list of what I wanted to manifest, I wanted them to come In at a comfortable need to want type pace rather than instantly like I did before biggest kisses to shadow work for helping me slow tf down and prioritise both my wants and needs in a healthy manner 🫶🏾

RESULTS:

: Soooo I met this cute girl at school, she ticks so many of my boxes!! She's the talker, physically affection, cute nicknames I love it!! Currently just talking and flirting but I'm excited go see where this goes, ticks off my wlw relationship! I wanted something slow and meaningful, she's a little fast but meaningful I think it's the talking stage exciting jitters we'll see how it goes once she takes a breather. But I'm enjoying our time together.

: Dreams have been a lot more vivid! Dream recall sucks ass cause my sleep schedule and daily nutritional intakes are fucked give me a minute to fix those and lucid dreaming will natural for me I swear you guys 😭 I had such a realistic dream today I mixed it up with real life, everything felt so real it was insanely bizarre

: I feel a lot more direct and open to shifting now in comparison to last week, my mindset towards it has gone from "I need to do x then x otherwise it won't work I need to do everything properly or else I'll fail" to "Fuck it what I say goes"

I no longer pay great attention to the 3D but I still have a healthy view point to this reality which is something I always struggled with, detachment lead to dissociation which lead to hard core depression. We're feeling good right now though!

Something I tried to manifest before hand finally came up, simple thing but I wanted to wake up with my eyes closed, remain still and instantly remember shifting. This is so I could shift through my most preferred shifting state which required for me to wake up eyes closed and bam! Shift.

But I always woke up with my eyes open, it was a struggle. Not anymore folks!!

: My YouTube video views are increasing, I had a slow recent video that was barely moving its now getting 1k views per day and I'm a few subscribers away to my next milestone goal 30k which I wasn't close to last week

: I made a money review riggght here! It's for her money affirmation tape however the I am in control tape played a role too! Powerful duo 101% recommend using both <3

: My eyelashes are looking a lot fuller and my eyes are alot more sharper and more outlined, hope that makes sense. You, can actually tell the shape of if it's nice and sharp. Nose is also a little more narrow, I didn't want it to narrow gotta love what my ancestors gave me <3 that's on black beauty

: Hair is in twists I can see my roots getting longer which means there's growth that happend after the twists! There wasn't that much growth before hand, so waist length hair here I come!!

OK, that's all now, ily tysm adambja!! <3

[pastafossa]

hi pasta :) hope your week is going well so far !!

i dunno if you’ve spoken about this or been asked before (i apologise if you have) but i was just wondering how you always get matt’s characterisation so spot on?? if i didn’t know any better, i’d have thought you wrote the show. i can literally always picture him doing/saying the stuff you write <333

😭😭😭 This is like, an AMAZING compliment oh my god, thank you so much!

As for the question I'm not sure if I've talked about it before but ironically seeing it in my ask box triggered a discussion with sis. Like, I know there are folks who have a different take on Matt than mine. That's valid! So I don't want to be like... 'I did the research and delved and etc etc' because they do too. But eventually me and sis arrived at a conclusion that it's a few combos of things that makes Matt easy for me to click with:

A lot of psych classes in college that ironically I've used more for writing than anything else. This helped me understand some of how Matt's background of abandonment and trauma would potentially affect him and influence his coping techniques and behavior. I like learning psych stuff in general so that all wound up being an influence. I'll always recommend digging into this when working with characters!

I've watched Daredevil over and over and over and over and the more I've rewatched, the more I wind up picking up on new things and analyzing what Matt is thinking or feeling (bless Charlie for giving Matt so many little hints and fidgets and subtle touches of what Matt's internally feeling). This includes interviews, behind the scenes stuff, anything breaking down the why of Matt. I'm familiar with him at this point.

There are certain parts of Matt's character that I relate to incredibly strongly as a disabled person with chronic pain raised in the church, and also as someone who went through a long lonely period of depression where I felt very isolated, and then was afraid when I did finally make friends that they'd leave me. So. There's always an element with Matt that's like, 'ah I get it', this sense of resonation. I feel like that natural click with Matt really helped me when writing him, cause... been there, get the motivation, also dude needs to cry more and let that stress out, trust me.

This sounds weird but me and my sis love to break characters down, rip them apart to examine their insides. We love our favorite characters and talking about all their wholesome or badass elements, but we also gd love and have fun dissecting flaws, fuckups, the shadow self, character trauma, are they the asshole, is EVERYONE the asshole, what does this mean when he did this or that. The whole Pasta clan is immersed in that - Dad was a theatre major so got a lot of practice, Mom's loved lit forever, and we all have this tendency, so I got very comfortable very early with taking characters apart in a really honest way to figure out how and why they tick and what the writer/actor is trying to tell you. And since we've all seen Daredevil, and dad has also read a lot of the earlier comics, we've all more than once metaphorically laid Matt out on the table like a frog and dissected his character. I feel like having someone who's not only willing to talk about these layers with you, but also comfortable enough with you to kinda push back and go 'Or what if he was doing it because of this' or 'Ok yeah you love him but he was actually being the asshole here because *valid reason*' is important. Get you some allies who love to know why characters tick!

So basically lots of reading, really enjoying picking characters apart with fam, and familiarity, all mixed up in a bucket of 'Ooooh poor thing, I've been there and that was not fun. You really need therapy and maybe some antidepressants.'

[nouearth]

a soulmate AU where you can write on your skin and have it appear on the body of your soulmate. with bart allen x dark angsty reader

i just combined your two asks together since they're pretty similar. hope you like it!

it's okay to not be okay.

pairing ; bart allen x m!reader. fandom: ; dc, the flash, young justice. word count ; 896. genre; angst & comfort. rating ; pg-13. warnings ; comfort!fic, soulmate!au, topic of depression notes ; i've been kinda on a creative block, so i'm so sorry if this sucks, lol. bart is aged up by the way!

“you up?” the sound of rain accompanies you as you’re sat at your desk, waiting for a response beneath your written question. it’s one of those nights again. another night of endless tossing and turning because of thoughts—stupid thoughts. naturally, parts of your body find a rhythm as a way to shake out those bad thoughts, an impromptu exorcism you liked to joke. 

your fingers nervously drum against cherry wood, your leg bouncing in pursuit, and your heart races all at the same time, as you wait for a response. it’s four am, you weren’t exactly hopeful for one, but somehow, bart has yet to fail you.

“brley.” you’re calmed by the appearance of the black ink on your skin, smiling now. barely. he’s missing an ‘a’ but you figured you’d give him a pass considering how late it is.

“sorry. just wanted to see if you were still awake.” you write smaller than usual on your skin, accommodating for the longer sentence. 

“drinking a coke now! you ok?” his handwriting is sloppy as usual, but you find it endearing. it’s almost like he’s rushing to talk to you and you couldn’t complain about that—you do the same.

“4 am thoughts again?”  bart continues on before you could write a response. he’s always been a quick replier, impossibly fast at times.

it hasn’t been long since… all of this started happening. you never believed in having a soulmate, even attempted to refute the idea. but the existence of bart allen has convinced you into believing, maybe… just maybe, that he’s the one. bart always knew what was on your mind simply by how long it would take you to respond at times. that’s how impressive he is. he always knew what to say. not because he’s wise or smart (though, he is), but because he knew how to make you laugh. and you can feel yourself healing, though baby-steps, the more you spent time with him.

“you know me.”

“and i always want to know more! favorite cheesecake flavor? mine’s a basque.” you chuckle as more words appear on your skin, quickly extending over the length of your forearm as bart never cared to write small. “i know, it’s a little too fancy for me, but that caramelization is YUM!”

“and i thought you knew me, bart…” you write just as the previous responses vanish into your skin. “you know i don’t like sweets.”

“i know and it’s why i’ve docked you down to being 95% compatiable with me.” a smug smiley face with its tongue sticking out ends his sentence and you draw whatever you can imagine at the moment over it like you often do, both to your amusement.

for a moment, you forgot why you even woke him in the first place. bart makes time pass by, the problem and care of the world—of life—fleet away when you’re with him. but when you’re not, everything is numb. white noise follows you everywhere. the only reason why you come out of bed is to go to work, but you work idly, breathing as best as you can. living as best as you can.

you didn’t realize you’ve been staring off into space until you felt soft pressure applied to your forearm again, breaking your focus. “you never answered if you were okay or not.” 

it takes a moment, a long moment until you gather the courage to respond.

“honestly? no…” you sigh to yourself, admitting defeat. 

sometimes, there were days where you felt okay. but they were rare. you hated feeling like this. merely stating how you felt made you uncomfortable, but you’ve been lying to him, to yourself for so long. you aren’t okay. because the longer you lied to yourself, the more you hurt everybody, what’s left of everybody, around you.

you’ve stopped doing your favorite things again, opting to sleep the entire day away if you could. but you knew it was unhealthy. so you try. you try to make yourself okay, whatever that meant. going to the beach, taking a walk in the park, it was something. but you always found yourself wanting, dreaming to be one of those attributes that had people returning to those locations. the gentle sunset that warmed cold shores, the breeze that kept park benches cool, you wished you had that effect on someone—to have them return.

but to have them return is to get better, work towards being better. you’ve hurt a lot of people. those that have tried to help you, stood by you, but you’ve pushed them all away by now, and you’re alone. painfully alone.

“you remember what i told you from before, right?”

“yeah.”

you think to yourself, will bart return if something happened? if you were an ass to him? said or acted hurtful towards him? you knew you would never intentionally, but it’s a thought—a scary one. 

“it’s okay to not be okay.” you both write simultaneously, your print in small and bart’s in large.

you’re not doing well. you admit to yourself again, and that’s okay. you remind yourself, alongside with bart’s writing. it’s a part of life and most of all, a step in the right direction. to healing, to being better, to being okay.

“i’m always be here for you.”  “you always know what’s on my mind, bart.”

© nouearth. please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works. and if you like this story, please reblog and leave a like!

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Called You Again - Mick Schumacher

<word count - 1885>

You were bored. You were bored, and had a whole lot of thoughts trampling through your mind like a stampede. You hadn't heard from Mick in a while, and he hadn't heard from you either. Well, that was probably expected from two people who had recently broken up.

It was mutual, and it was civil, but that never stopped you from missing him. You had been staring at your phone for the past half an hour, as if willing it to buzz with the powers of your mind. But, even then, the capabilities of discarded love couldn't force someone to call you. 

You sighed, frustrated with yourself as you scrambled to pick the phone up before you found some sense within you and stopped. Ironically, or not so much, Mick's phone number was the first one at the top of your contacts. 

After a few rings, the line went quiet, before you heard a, "Hey, Y/N," in the softest voice you had ever had the pleasure of getting used to. "Hey, Mick. How've you been?" you asked, pressing the phone to your ear. You didn't know why you kept on thinking you could be friends after what you were, but there was always that little part of your brain that longed to hear his voice. 

"Not bad thanks, you?" he asked, not wanting to admit that the nature of your call seemed slightly suspicious. Sure, you had settled it on good terms, but he didn't know if that constituted calling the other person. "Yeah, I've been good," you said, and silence settled over the pair of you.

"So, is there a reason you've called or...?" Mick broke the quiet. He didn't want his question to come across as rude, or like he didn't want to talk to you, he was simply curious. "I was just thinking how we don't really talk anymore, and I thought it'd be nice to catch up," you explained, more as if you were convincing yourself that that was the reason. 

"OK, yeah, I guess you're right," Mick agreed, finding your excu- reasoning to be normal, and he had been thinking about it too. "So, what's new with you?" He asked, continuing the conversation. Your heart was telling you to say you missed him, but your head said no way. 

You never really loved him that bad anyway, you were just lonely and the sound of his voice, asking how you'd been doing made it feel like someone cared again. He did a one point, but not anymore. You both knew that. "Nothing much, life just carries on, I suppose," you said, mentally scolding yourself when you realised how depressing you must've sounded.

"But works been going pretty great, so that's always good," you said, hoping to lighten the mood somewhat. "That's great to hear, did you get the promotion you wanted?" he asked, and if he wasn't genuinely interested, he was doing a damn good job at acting like he was.

"Yeah, I did," you nodded, surprised he had still remembered. It was something you had mentioned briefly a few days before you decided to call it quits, so it wasn't something you had made a huge deal out of.  "Woah, well done! I knew you'd get it," he gushed, and for a moment, you were back when you had just scored your dream job, and he had said nearly the exact same thing.

But things were different now. 

"I was so nervous, because I thought I wouldn't, but then I did," you rambled, as if he were right there in the room with you. "There was never any doubt in my mind that you would," he reassured, and you could hear the smile that was dancing on his lips. "I put a lot of work into it, so I'm glad it paid off," you lightly chuckled.

"How about you?" you asked. The most you knew was that he was still testing for Mercedes, and he was still a reserve driver for if Lewis or George couldn't race. "I've been doing a lot of simulator work recently, so a lot of late nights, but it's worth it. I've been loving every minute of it," he explained.

The passion in his voice whenever he talked about anything remotely related to cars never failed to make your heart sing, and you admired his love for racing. It truly was his life, but that wasn't something you got to share anymore.

"Good good, I'm glad you're enjoying it," you replied, nodding while pressing the phone evermore closer to your ear, as if it would bring Mick closer to you. Silence fell over the line, but neither of you put the phone down. 

Neither of you said anything for a short while, either. The silence was slightly awkward, since neither of you really knew what to say. But still, you never put the phone down. You never knew when you were done talking with him, so you didn't want to be the one to end it. 

And you never really were the one who wanted to end it. 

As you sat in the silence, you asked yourself why you were always calling him again. You didn't love him anymore, that was what you told yourself, but then why did you feel compelled to hear his voice, his laugh? You were just being friendly, simple as that. There was nothing more to it. Absolutely nothing more. 

You talked for a little while more, but then Mick had to go. This time, you were left in silence without the chance that you'd get to hear his voice break through it. There were so many other people you could have called while you were away, but you didn't. It just wasn't the same as the homely comfort that talking to Mick offered, and there was no way to get around that. 

But, that didn't mean you loved him anymore. Not in the slightest. You were just lonely and missing your friends since you were always away at races. Yes, this job was your dream, but that didn't mean you didn't feel isolated every now and then.

Mick was always in the same time zone, and you already knew his schedule, so you knew when he was free and when it was a good time to call. It was simply convenient. There it was, that was the reason you called Mick. It was convenient. Your brain was happy with that conclusion, but your heart was overly skeptical. It always was when it came to your feelings for Mick, but you weren't listening to it today. 

--

You hadn't spoken to Mick in... A while. Well, it was long enough for you to realise that you hadn't heard his voice in a while. You knew you could have easily called him and ended the torment that felt self-inflicted.

It was almost like quitting smoking. If you never went back to cigarettes, then you'd never crave them again. On the outside, it looks easy, but try to do it, and you'll almost definitely fail to quit completely, caving back into the temptation.

It was also like you were in denial. If you never accepted that you actually wanted to call him, then you'd never actually want to call him. That was how that worked, right? 

You had so many excuses to not call him, the main one being the fact that you had convinced yourself into believing that he had loved you the most. He loved you more than you had loved him, and calling him was only hurting him more. 

Not even all of the conviction in the world could convince that one tiny, little, Mick-reserved section of your heart that that was true. It would never be enough to make that one bit of your brain that kept that tiny, little section beating let him go. It would grasp on with all of its might and power for as long as it had the strength to, and it wasn't showing any signs of giving up now. 

Whenever you so much as looked at your phone, your brain screamed at you to get a grip and call the guy, but it would never actually let you. Your limbs would freeze in place, fingers hovering over the call button until the screen faded to black and you'd say it was 'a sign'.

It was probably better off this way, anyway. He'd be better off by himself, and maybe he could find someone new without the ghost of you haunting him whenever you called. He'd be better off without you clinging to him. 

Another night went by, the same thoughts running through your brain, not letting you fall asleep. It was like you were plagued by the thoughts of him. But then, the sharp rings of your phone interrupted the peace. 

It was probably just someone from work, nothing special. You picked the phone up, and nearly dropped it when you saw his face filling up the screen. That dazzling smile with those bright blue eyes was a sight for sore eyes.

You were so shocked, yet elated at the same time, that you just stared at his picture until the room fell quiet again. You scrambled to call him back, excited to hear the sweet, soothing tones of his voice. "Hey, sorry, my phone was on the other side of the room," you lied, as if you needed a reason to have missed his call. 

"Hey, Y/N, don't worry about it. How are you?" He asked, and you fell back into the vicious cycle all over again. One of you would be the one to call for a little while, then they'd stop, then the other would call, and then stop. But it happened over and over again. 

It always carried on, and one of you always poked the sleeping bear. You always wondered why you called him again, or why you picked up his late night phone calls. That childish, giggly feeling of butterflies that lingered in your stomach after you'd talked to him wasn't love.

The yearn you had to talk to him and see him wasn't love. The need you had for him and the respect you held wasn't love. It had been, but it wasn't anymore. Love wasn't supposed to hurt like this did.

--

Now you don't really talk anymore. 

You were in one of those slumps, and it was technically your turn to call him, if that was how that worked. But it made sense, all you did was hurt him. All you did was cause him pain. All of that because you would always call him back, no matter what you told yourself. 

You hurt yourself so that you wouldn't hurt him anymore, and that was OK. He was worth it, even if your efforts would always go unvalued and unnoticed. One day, it wouldn't hurt so badly. One day, you'd have someone else to call, and you wouldn't feel at a loose end. 

 You didn't like hurting him, that was never your intention. But it took some of the pain away. It was like nurofen - it took the ache away for a short while, it left you numb. Yes, the ache always came back, but it was those moments of freedom that were your escape. 

Your moments of freedom caused him pain, because you called him again. 

A/N - OK, so we're just over a fifth through this already, so go me! Can't believe I am being so dedicated. And I am still writing all part 2s and requests, so don't worry if you're still waiting on something. It's coming, I promise. If any of you have anymore requests, then feel free to submit them!

|masterlist|five seconds flat|

[just-a-carrot]

i'm desperately battling post-launch depression by playing more dd2 (unsurprising; i've been battling every negative emotion lately with dd2 🤣) and i've had a breakthrough

genzou finally rode in the oxcart with iggy

ok i think i need to explain the mechanic. so there's a semi fast travel function in game where you can hire an oxcart to take you to a different town, and iggy will sit in it while his pawns walk alongside/out front to act as bodyguards (I say semi fast travel because 90% of the time it's interrupted mid-way by monsters attacking the cart LOL). however, i found a post online from someone surprised when their pawn actually sat next to them in the cart once! seems it can happen if they're at max affection, but even then, it's very rare and by chance(???) (they only saw it once in like 85 hours)

after reading this... i became determined to get genzou to ride in the cart next to iggy because i thought that would be so sweet 😌 little did i know how difficult that was going to be... hence:

the oxcart conundrum

strap in because this is gonna be a journey... (with gifs!!!)

i knew that genzou already had pretty high affection so i decided i would just need to attempt to ride the oxcart a lot (i normally don't ride it that often)

many times, i would go to ride the cart, and genzou would kinda stand at the back staring up at iggy as though he really really wanted to get up into the cart... but then as soon as the cart would start moving, he'd quickly run around to the front like normal

one time he came up into the cart and looked like he was going to sit down???? .....but then suddenly ran off and started twisting back and forth as though flustered and like he couldn't decide what he wanted to do LKASLDFAD (ok i'm just making up thoughts for game code now BUT STILL)

i felt like i had to be getting close. but still no matter what i did, he would never actually get up and stay and sit down. i would try different things like running around behind the cart to try to get genzou close before walking up into it. i would try sitting up and back down and getting on and off the cart. one time i literally even just spent like 30 minutes riding the oxcart back and forth between vernworth and checkpoint town again and again in hopes it could trigger but nothing. NOTHING. it was starting to feel like it must be impossible

then... at the most unexpected time... IT HAPPENED

i dismissed both my other pawns because i tend to do that when i'm done for the night, then thought i'd try for funsies to ride the oxcart again...

...this time, when iggy sat down, genzou stepped up in the cart?!?! ...but then just stood there?? even as the cart started moving??? GENZOU WTF SIT DOWN YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO???????

i waited for a bit and he still just stood there even as it entered oxcart mode until finally i got so frustrated i made iggy stand up, which seemed to make genzou all flustered...

genzou ended up going all the way back around to the front of the cart, so i thought it was a no-go and had given up in my mind for this try. so i sat iggy back down. as soon as iggy sat down, genzou weirdly ran back behind the cart again and started acting all weird, like getting up half into the cart...

then like ten seconds later... after it zoomed back out to the standard oxcart view...

he stepped up into the cart.......................

................AND SAT DOWN

i may or may not have made a very unholy squeaking gasp and clapped my hands over my mouth LKJDFALSKDF

IT LITERALLY TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET THIS TO HAPPEN

i know it's the silliest thing and not even that "momentous" but because i'd been trying and failing for so long it felt very big and my heart started beating really fast LOL 🤣

once i had calmed down i got a few more cute shots. once you go into oxcart mode the perspective gets locked and just transitions between a few different set POVs of the oxcart moving along all cinematically lol

it was the first time i didn't "Doze Off" to skip forward 🤣

ofc then however the oxcart eventually got attacked and destroyed by an ogre LKAJDLASD whoops. WHICH LEFT IGGY AND GENZOU STRANDED BY THEMSELVES??? IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??? ONLY HALFWAY TO TOWN???

i was a bit scared because i didn't have my full party (and night is quite dangerous in this game) but fortunately my levels are high enough now that i was able to make it back ok. and actually it ended up being very sweet, it was the first time i'd had only iggy and genzou without any other pawns and genzou was like, so much more conscientious of iggy??? giving him curatives and sticking closer to him and high-fiving/elbow-bumping a lot more than usual?????? he even started saying things i'd never heard him say before. felt like a whole new experience 🤣🤣 so now i may try to do this more often at least in areas where i won't get completely decimated and see if i can capture some of the cute things he does...💕

ANYWAY WHY IS THIS POST SO LONG I'M SO SORRY THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I ENTER POST-LAUNCH SLUMP AND NEED GOOEY HAPPY FEELS TO SPUR MY HEART

[freesia-writes]

Lil Life Update for Y'all <3

I've been a lil cryptic or back-n-forth, I think, and just wanted to share a little bit about what's been going on. I say it's not for attention but who knows what motives lurk under there, LOL. It's mostly because I love you all and want to let you in, also hope that it's encouraging or connective for anyone else who's experienced the same, and also I just miss the community I have sooooo loved here. 🥹

I'm a 34yo female with 2 kids aged 4 and 7. I had depression like crazy during and after my second pregnancy especially. In Aug 2021, my primary doc suggested I try something like Zoloft since I'd been complaining of irritability, no capacity, constant worry, and other anxiety symptoms. When I did feel some relief and felt encouraged that I could "feel like myself" again, I pursued solutions for other issues I was noticing. Over the last year and a half, it's been quite a ride. ADHD symptoms led to Adderall for 4 days, then Wellbutrin for a few months, then Buspar for a few months, then Strattera (tapering up and then back down) for about 3 months, then Ritalin for 1 month, which I thought was helping until we realized that the entire month of October was basically an increasingly manic episode.

Whew.

We're talkin 2007 Britney here (ok I didn't shave it but I cut my hair off into a pixie). Spent thousands on a new wardrobe of the "dark academia" style. Bought Disneyland tickets. Invested in a photography mentorship. So much energy and inspiration. Then we realized it was getting out of hand.

I had also been tapering off a lot of the meds over the last two months, so it was just a crazy cocktail of chemicals that made my brain finally go kaput. I finished the last dose of Zoloft on November 5th, and that was the last of the meds, so now I'm off everything. My therapist thought the mania was medication-induced due to all the changes plus the addition of the stimulant, so the goal was to try to allow everything to settle down and see what "baseline" is for me right now.

And it has been frickin HARD.

Cervical vertigo. All-or-nothing sleep and appetite. Extreme sensory sensitivity. Random itchiness. Racing mind. Total inability to focus. And the worst part has been the mood swings.

I'm basically having all the symptoms of bipolar disorder in a rapid-cycle format. It may be cyclothymia, or it may be the withdrawal effects from all the meds, but regardless... It's been quite the roller coaster. The nerd in me has been fascinated by the experiential knowledge of it all, since I majored in Psychology and have always loved learning about it, but the overall negative effects on me and my family have been difficult.

I'm someone who has always relied completely on being highly capable and in control. I find my worth in my productivity and competence. And it has caused increasing stress throughout my life. I've been praying for years that God would break me of it, and I can see how he is using this to do precisely that -- lovingly trying to answer my request to be freed of this relentless pursuit of the illusion of control. He's inviting me to simple, joyful life of trust. The perspective shift is so freeing when I realize that I don't need to have it all figured out because he already does, and I can just rest in his loving guidance and look to him for the next step instead of trying to plan out every possible outcome and strategy. I went on a reflective retreat in the Santa Cruz mountains and just felt so encouraged and loved in the way he invited me to let my shoulders down and to ground myself in his warm provision and care.

But the change doesn't happen overnight.

So in the middle of a total storm of bipolar symptoms -- days of mania followed by days of depressive episodes and being so new at it all that I don't know how to navigate "normal life" with all of that -- I'm also trying to rewire 34 years' worth of the way I think and act. BUT it's a blessedly simple process: the only thing I have to worry about is this moment. I can't affect the future or the past. So all I have is right now, and I can turn to God for guidance, encouragement, insight, or anything I need in this moment, and he is so faithful to give it. But man, it's easy to forget. ;)

Literally me with that right now, trying to figure it all out on my own before I remember I can't and don't need to:

Anyway, this got LONG, surprise surprise, but I've always enjoyed being vulnerable for the sake of connection and potential encouragement. And selfishly, I'd LOVE to hear from any of you who may have had similar experiences. Right now the fixation of my [very limited] capacity is on my photography business, but I've been feeling drawn to writing more and more, and have attempted a lil drabble here and there. So I'm just patiently waiting for the inspiration to return. :)

I have so appreciated the love from you all. I also haven't been as active with reading/reblogging/supporting/etc as I was, and that's just where I'm at right now, but please know that my heart is with you even if my brain is not, LOL.

If you made it this far, you get a gold star. Or a Howzer hug. Or somethin. :)

[aamalaaa]

Lifeline | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: bestfriends to lovers au, hurt/comfort, jk is so understanding, fluff, romance, reader is sad but it'll be ok

warnings: reader suffers from depression but doesn't know it, it gets a little heated but there's no smut

word count: 3.6k

a/n: sooo, this was supposed to be a drabble and yet.. I got a lil carried away. I hope you like this, I've wrote this from my own experience with depression, I hope you can find comfort in it, you're never alone and I love you<3

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It’s been days, weeks now that you’ve been feeling like this. Nothing happened, nothing dramatic. You still go to work, still talk to your friends. On the outside, things seem as normal as they usually are. You seem okay, maybe a bit indifferent. 

You’re not.

You’re not okay, you feel like not enough air gets into your lungs, you feel heavy, tired, like the weight of the world is too much to endure. You still manage to look relatively okay, you shower, put on makeup, make sure your clothes are clean and fit well together when you put  an outfit together. 

You haven’t washed your clothes for weeks though. You only have a few things left in your wardrobe, the rest of your clothes lay on a chair, on the floor of your bedroom, your couch and next to the shower.

You didn’t clean up your room, kitchen, bathroom or anything in your apartment really. It doesn’t look good, you can’t stand to leave the lights on because you’d have to face the mess and feel bad about it. You don’t feel like you’re doing enough, you feel incompetent and lazy. 

You don’t cry though, can’t bring yourself to. Staying awake and going to work is tiring enough, you can’t muster enough energy to cry on top of that. You wish you could, maybe it would help. Fill the empty hole in your chest, make you feel something again, replace the shame and tiredness with something else. Anything not to feel like this, empty, unmoored.

You’re laying in bed when you hear it first, a soft knock. Your ears perk up at the sound but you still stay wrapped up in your duvet, even bringing it up a little above your head, trying to drown out the noise.

But the noise doesn’t stop, it’s at your front door and it gets louder and louder. Though it stays gentle, like the instigator knows you can’t handle more, loud and constant noises make you feel overwhelmed these days.

You groan loudly before throwing the duvet off your body in one swift motion, making you shiver instantly at the contact of cool air against warm skin. You need to up the heat here, or maybe put on something that isn’t tiny shorts and a tank top. 

You barely have anything else in your wardrobe though, goddamn you need to wash your clothes.

You slowly trudge to the front door, hoping the visitor will get tired and go away before you get there. But he doesn’t and you have no choice, someone came up here to see you and you can’t be this ungrateful. Won’t let yourself be.

So you card your hand through your hair to try and tame it before quickly opening the door to its full extent.

The black haired man stares at you with his wide doe eyes, hand stopping mid motion in the air where the door was, a black tote bag in his other hand.

You stare back, shock clearly visible all over your face. If you didn’t expect one thing, it’s to see Jungkook at your doorstep, looking this fucking hot in black sweatspants, a black longsleeved shirt and an equally black baseball cap to match.

“Kook, what are you doing here? Did we have something planned? I forgot didn’t I- Ah shit! I’m so sorry, my mind’s a bit of a mess today..” You anxiously blurt out.

Jungkook awkwardly brushes a strand of hair beneath his ear. “No, no we didn’t have anything planned, don't worry,” He hurriedly says, noticing your nervousness. “I just-“ He pauses. “I hadn't heard from you in a few days and you didn’t respond to my texts so I decided to pay a visit..”

And if his appearance wasn’t enough to make you melt into a puddle of goo, his explanation sure is. Because how could he be this attentionate and caring?

You’ve known Jungkook for a few months, meeting him through your group of friends and you quickly grew closer, became good friends even. And you may or may not have a huge crush on him but that’s another story and you’re not about to admit it out loud, not now, not ever. If he liked you that way he would’ve told you already, you’re not about to burden him with your feelings.

But you’re fine being just friends, he’s an amazing person and you couldn’t imagine your life without him now, he’s the funniest and kindest person you’ve ever known. You can keep your emotions under check, maybe they’ll even settle down after a while.

Though you doubt it considering the way your heart beats loudly against your rib cage only from standing a few feet away from the man. Oh well.

“Oh.. that’s very kind of you,” You breathe out.

Jungkook shoots you a dazzling wide smile and you almost faint at the sight. 

“Sooo, can I come in? I got a few things for you,” He lifts up the tote bag he’s been holding.

Your heart skips a beat, god he’s making it very hard for you not to completely fall in love with him.

“Umm..” You start, unsure what to say. 

He can’t see your place like this, he’d probably run for the hills. “My place’s a bit of a mess and I was planning on cleaning up today-“ 

“I can help!” He enthusiastically cuts you off.

You stare at your feet, wiggling your toes around. “I mean you don’t have to, it’s fine really and you must have better things to do..” He can’t see your place like this.

He snorts. “I have the day off, let me help, I want to! Plus, I brought food!” He says, a hopeful smile etched upon his mesmerizing face.

Goddamn fucking Jeon Jungkook, you can’t say no to him, not when he’s looking at you like that.

“I- Ok but please don’t judge, I’m just very busy,” You step out of his way, motioning for him to come in. His only reply is a nod before he slides in through the door. 

He spends a moment, and only a moment to observe your apartment before heading towards the kitchen counter and dropping the bag he’s been holding.

You’re so fucking embarrassed, he’s probably gonna judge you or worse, pity you. Though he would never say it out loud, that’s not Jungkook.

“I’ve seen worse,” He gets out a few supplies from the bag and puts them on the counter.

“Please don’t lie, it’s disgusting,” You sigh, picking up a few stray clothes on the floor to throw them on the couch.

He lifts up his eyes to you, gaze locked into yours. You hold it for a few seconds before dropping your eyes to the ground, a rosy tint adorning your cheeks. 

“What’s going on?” He gently asks, dropping the broccoli he was holding on the counter and stepping closer to you.

You shrug and nervously fiddle with your fingers, refusing to meet his gaze. You can’t do this, you’ve been really good at keeping your emotions at bay.

You can’t give up now.

But he doesn’t relent. “What’s wrong?” He’s very close to you now and you shyly peek at him before dropping your eyes to your hands again.

He softly takes both of your hands in his, stopping you from fiddling with them. And you can barely hold it in now, you have no distraction to focus on instead of the gaping hole in your heart, threatening to split your whole being in two any moment now.

“Nothing, don’t worry,” You croak.

He drops your left hand to bring his right one up to your chin, tilting your face upward slowly,  forcing you to look at him. 

You feel them, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, ready to spill out.

He stares at you, an incredibly concerned look in his eyes and caresses your chin softly with his thumb. “Talk to me, please.”

And that’s all it takes for you to lose it, tears flowing freely on your cheeks like cold rain on a fogged up window. You bring your hands up to your face, hiding to the best of your abilities behind them. 

“I- I d-don’t know Kookie, what’s wrong with me?” You hiccup, the sound muffled by your palms.

Your heart almost splits in half when your friend takes you in his strong arms, your head laying in the crook of his neck, and strokes your hair in soothing motions. Which only makes you sob harder. 

He doesn’t say a word for a long time, settles on stroking your hair and leaving a few kisses on top of your head.

You manage to calm down after a few minutes, but not before you leave a big wet spot on his shirt. 

“Oh god I’m so sorry, your shirt is ruined.”

He chuckles warmly and leaves another kiss on your head before replying. “It’s just a shirt.”

You nuzzle a bit closer in his neck, taking in the calming jasmine scent. It’s grounding, like a deep rooted tree in the middle of a storm.

“Do you want to sit down and eat?” He asks, voice just shy of a whisper.

You shake your head no, pressing even closer in his embrace, not willing to let go. Which prompts a loud chuckle out of Jungkook.

“You need to eat, we can lay around and do nothing after.” 

You groan, but ultimately step away. Jungkook lets out a small laugh, strokes your hair once more and sweeps his thumbs under your eyes to try and dry your wet cheeks.

You can’t help the furious blush that creeps up your neck and all the way to your cheeks, though you can hide your face behind your hair. So you do.

Jungkook coos before heading towards the kitchen counter, getting to work immediately.

You’re mostly silent, though Jungkook manages to make you laugh a few times with his antics. You eat the meal he prepared for you, not missing the way he constantly peers at you to make sure you’re eating. 

You almost eat all of your plate, you’d feel entitled and ungrateful not to. But there’s so much your stomach can take, and the portion he gave you was twice what you’d usually eat.

“This was amazing, thank you,” You smile.

He smiles back, that bunny grin of his you love so much. “My pleasure.” He replies, a slight blush making its way onto his cheeks. “Got anything you want to do this evening?” He tilts his head to the side before getting up and dropping his plate next to the sink.

“I was thinking of just like, watching a movie or something. You don’t have to stay, really,” You’d be lying if you said you didn’t hope he would stay. 

Which is why your heart swells ten times its original size at his response. 

“I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to leave,”

You shake your head. “No.. stay.” 

He smiles bashfully before taking your plate and cleaning the dishes he had used for the meal. You get up and join him, picking a rag up and drying the clean dishes before you put them in the cupboards.

It takes a few minutes, silence reigning peacefully over the both of you, the only sounds breaking it being Jungkook whistling quietly and water splashing in the sink. 

When you’re both done, he excuses himself to go to the bathroom and you take that moment to change into a large black t-shirt and slide under the covers of your bed, using the remote controller to turn on the television. 

When Jungkook comes back into the lounge, he chuckles at the sight of you snuggled deep under the covers, a plushie between your arms, scrolling through netflix for a movie to watch.

You quirk your brow at him questioningly when you see him awkwardly standing next to the bed.

“What are you standing there for?” You playfully question.

He cards a hand through his hair, seemingly nervous. “Well.. where do you want me?” 

You stare in shock, mouth agape before you break out into a loud cackle while Jungkook frowns in confusion. “What? What did I say?” 

“Oh Kook,” Your laughter dies down progressively. “It’s nothing.” You pat the empty side of your bed, smiling amusedly at the black haired man.

He shrugs, confused but still hops on the bed, keeping a safe distance from you, much to your dismay. 

“Get under the covers Kookie,” You stare him down.

“O-ok,” He tentatively slides under the covers, fully clothed. 

You press play on the title you chose and scoot closer to Jungkook, feeling him stiffen at the proximity. “What’s wrong?” You question, feeling shy all of a sudden. It’s not your first time cuddling with him, so why is he being weird about it?

He exhales slowly before responding. “I just-“ He stops himself, rubbing at his eyes anxiously. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with this.. I know you’re feeling vulnerable and sad right now, I don’t want to take advantage of that.” He almost whispers the last part, while you can only look at him curiously, not quite understanding what he means. 

“We cuddled before, what’s different?” You question, straightening up.

He shoots you an indecipherable look before scooting closer to you. “Nothing, come on over.”

You giggle and drape your arm around his stomach, your head resting on his chest. The soft rhythm of his heart puts you at ease almost instantly.

You both watch the movie in silence, Jungkook occasionally stroking your hair, making you shiver each and every time.

After a while he breaks the comfortable silence. “Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?” He breathes out against your hair.

You sigh in resignation. Of course he’d want to know, and it’s understandable. You did have a full on breakdown in his arms, after all. You just don’t know what to say, don’t know what’s wrong. You just know something is.

“I’ve been feeling kinda.. off, I guess?” You start, voice uneven. Another gentle stroke of your hair. “Like I have no energy, I don’t want to go out or do anything, I can’t clean up or do anything except go to work..” You feel him shifting his head a bit, probably looking at you. 

You don’t meet his gaze and continue. “It’s silly really, don’t worry too much.”

He sighs and tilts your chin up with his free hand. You slowly lift your eyes, meeting his own. He seems conflicted and hurt. You don’t understand.

“How could you say that?” He observes you carefully. “I care about you, of course I’m gonna be worried. And it’s not silly, it’s important. I want you to be happy, so happy. You deserve it, you deserve everything good. How can you not see that?” He cradles the side of your face with his hand, you blush profusely, your heart beat going absolutely frantic. What the hell is going on?

“I- I’m sorry..” You don’t know what to say, apologizing seems like the right thing to do, seeing the pained look on his face.

His hold on your face gets stronger as his eyes widen. “Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong, except thinking so poorly of yourself.” He exhales. “I didn’t want to make you feel bad about it, I’m sorry.” He strokes your cheek tenderly.

You can’t stop staring in his big eyes, like under a spell of some sort. It’s just hard not looking into them when they seem to hold the whole galaxy. 

You open your mouth to speak, but close it soon after. He sends you a questioning look.

It takes you a few seconds to reply. “I don’t know what to say..” You murmur.

“You don't have to know what to say, we’ll figure it out together,” He gently replies, shooting you a soft smile in the process.

You almost cry again as his words register in your head. You inhale shakily. “Why-“ You gulp. “Why would you do that for me?”

He brings his head down, fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt. “Why do you think?” He whispers, a peachy tint appearing on his cheeks. 

You frown in confusion, using your hand to stop his movements. “Because you’re a good friend? Why are you being so cryptic?” You ask, completely lost

Jungkook chuckles fondly before looking back into your eyes. “I’m really gonna have to spell it out uh,” He cradles the side of your face once more before timidly smiling at you. 

“I guess so?” You unknowingly snuggle closer into his hand. 

“Will you let me show you?” He strokes your hair with his long fingers, spurring on a shiver out of you.

You send him a puzzled look. You’re so fucking lost. “Um, I guess yeah?”

He looks at your lips before gazing into your eyes again, then stares at your lips once more.

And your heart might leap out of your chest because then, he gets a little closer, his face a few inches away from yours. His breath fanning over your cheeks makes you shiver.

“Can I kiss you?” He murmurs, so close you can almost feel the vibration of his voice onto your skin.

“Can you what-“ You squeeze his hand on instinct, the one you were still holding. 

“Kiss you,” He replies cockily, raising a brow.

“Uh, what-“ What’s going on, and why are you so socially inept. “Why would you-“ You loudly gulp, not finishing your sentence.

He nervously chuckles. “Because I-“ His voice cracks, and he tries to move further away from you. You scream internally. “It’s ok if you don’t want to. God I’m sorry I didn’t-“ 

You cut him off by tugging on his arm and crashing your lips onto his before even realizing what you’re doing. The angle is awkward and your lips collide almost painfully. You don’t care though, can’t bring yourself to.

At first, you both stay there, lips pressed against the other’s, unmoving, surprised by the sudden closeness. But soon enough, Jungkook kisses you back, sighing happily while his soft lips caress yours. You start moving along with him almost immediately, it’s almost like a dance, really. 

You feel him shift as he adjusts your position, laying you down backwards and hovering over you, tilting your head back a few inches to deepen the kiss. 

Your brain is foggy, you can’t even think or do anything but kiss back hungrily. Like his lips are a lifeline and you’re lost at sea. Latching onto him with unrivaled passion, your hand gripping the hair at the back of his neck pleadingly, soft whimpers escaping your throat only to be swallowed by the man holding you together like glue.

You fist the front of his shirt so forcefully your knuckles turn white while Jungkook nibbles at your bottom lip. You can feel him smirking against your mouth when you let out a loud whimper. He uses that moment to slide his tongue against yours, groaning in the process, lapping at your mouth like a dehydrated man. 

And if this is a dance, then Jungkook is a master dancer. And the avid apprentice you are, you’re willing to learn every step, over and over again until you know them by heart.

You slide your hand under his shirt, feeling the warmth of his bare skin and defined abs you thought about more often than you’d be willing to admit. You notice him shivering at the contact of your hand on his stomach and that only serves to spur you on even further, up his ribs and chest. 

It goes on like this for a long time, parting for oxygen from time to time, only to come together again. Jungkook and you battling for the lead, though you always end up happily losing the battle. And after a while it gets softer, gentle caresses and long, languid strokes of tongues intertwining together in complete harmony. 

Jungkook slides his thumb above your eyebrow, leaning away for just a moment before leaving a quick peck on your lips. When he lets go of your lips, you try to chase his own needily, only to hear a gruff, quiet laugh from the man you just spent the better half of an hour kissing. 

You open your eyes and pout at him, which is apparently really funny because he laughs even harder.

Your pout deepens and you try to push him off with all the strength you can muster, which is admittedly not a lot.

He coos at you before leaving yet another soft kiss on your lips, making you sigh happily.

“I guess you wanted to,” He confidently comments, a small smirk lifting the side of his red swollen lips.

You roll your eyes playfully. “Great guess, Sherlock.”

Jungkook settles down next to you, tugging you closer to him as he does. You wrap your arm around him and lay on his chest, just like you did earlier. Except now it feels more intimate and the butterflies in your stomach roam freely around your body.

You don’t even notice you’re dozing off until a strong hand gently shakes your shoulder, you hum in response.

“Do you want me to go?” You hear a scratchy voice murmur in your ear.

You frown and shake your head. “Nuh-uh, stay, please..” You’re barely able to get the words out in your sleepy state.

“Okay, I’ll stay,” He responds, snuggling even closer to you. You suspire contentedly. 

 As you slowly slip into unconsciousness you ask one last question.

“Are you gonna be here when I wake up?” You slur.

You barely register a soft peck being laid upon your forehead.

“Wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else.”

-

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a/n: this is the link for the general taglist for my writings<3 click here!