#i just mean sometimes i'd think of past stuff over the years and i'd be like damn yeah that was on me actually which is healthy

[chuunibyou]

Man every blue moon I get back on and look through my old posts and I miss this site a lot. :( No matter what happened or who had beef with who back then Tumblr was some of the most fun I've ever had online tbh

[dredshirtroberts]

tomorrow pakige

[royalarchivist]

Bad: I don't think we've reached an ending, but we've reached an end for some things. [...] There are no permanent endings, Chat. There are no permanent goodbyes. Only goodbyes for now. Only goodbyes for now, ok?

Bad talks a little bit to his chat about the Egg admins leaving, and the future.

[ Transcript ↓ ]

—

Bad: All right, Chat. I need to have a serious talk with you for a little bit. Here Pepito, I'm gonna keep riding! Sorry Pepito, I’ll keep riding. I'm gonna have a serious talk with the Chat since we got 12 minutes to kill.

But yes, Chat. Yes, some of the… Eggies are leaving, which I know is a really sad thing to see following such a fun and happy day of Murder Mystery, which was really fun. And I know– as far as I know right now, just, I'm aware that I was– I'm aware that Pepito— er, not- sorry, Pepito is behind me, see Pepito? He's right there.

As far as I know, Chat, right now I'm aware of Richas left, or will be leaving, Lullah will be leaving, and I believe Chayanne will be leaving. And… it's really heartbreaking. And it's hard to talk about, obviously, ‘cuz we made so many memories with them over the past year. So… I think, I don't know. Obviously like, there's things I wanna say, things I will say, things I won't say, you know… And I just… I dunno. Right now just gonna… filling you guys in. But uh, yeah, they will no longer be around. So… Yeah, it’s very sad, I’m very sad. But I think… I don't think– or at least I'd say I hope that it's not the end of any particular adventures for them going forward.

And I don't know, we'll see what the future holds for any particular thing. You feel me? Just like– just enjoy the memories today. Relish in the sadness chat. Embrace the sadness for a bit, and understand that like, I think tomorrow will be better, and just give the love and appreciation to the amazing people— give the love and appreciation, Chat, to the amazing people of the project who worked so hard and put their heart and soul into everything they did. All of the Eggy actors, all the builders, all the people who worked on everything. Each one of them. I think each one of the Eggs really put themselves into their characters.

Obviously, in particular, I was particularly close to Dapper, Pomme, and Richas, and I'm gonna miss them the most, obviously, Chat. I don't know personally, I don't know what my– I can't speak necessarily on what my future holds because… you know, in regards to anything ‘cuz I'm just kinda going through the emotions right now and just kind of feeling the emotions, you know?

[Groans] I dunno, Chat. I’m just feelin’ it, and sometimes it’s hard to put things into words. You know? When you’re feeling stuff. So… It's hard to play, uh… it's hard to play Minecraft with, um, with people for so long, Chat. You know, to spend so much time with people. And you guys were here for the ride, you were here for the journey. Don't be sad when a particular ride happens, Chat. Be happy you were able to ride it to begin with. Ok?

I think– I feel– I think personally, Chat, I feel very blessed to have been able to experience the– and do this stuff I've been able to, you know?

[Long silence]

Ah, we're almost there, we're almost there, Chat.

[Sighs, then reads a chat message] “Thank you for bringing us on this journey with you” I don't think—

One: I don't think the journey is over completely, right? I can't say with certainty Chat, what the future holds, right? And I don't know– I don't know what the future holds, Chat. I don't think– I don't think we've reached an ending, but we have– we’ve reached the end for some things, yes. And as for what it means– what I mean by “an ending,” I dunno. We'll see what happens, you know? I think the chapter as far as like— obviously, like… you know, when you graduate school for example, right? It is an ending of sorts. It's an ending of THAT experience, right? The experience that you had with those particular people in that particular place. It's not an ending to those people, or your interactions with those people. You feel me?

[Sighs] There's other things I want to say Chat, but… I’m doin’ my best to just keep myself reigned in a little bit. Guess I'm feeling a little- a lil’ emotional. Trying to reign in those emotions, you know? One day at a time. But make sure you're following, and stick around, because I have a feeling we'll have more fun stuff that you guys will not want to miss. Trust me. Trust me Chat, every day is gonna be an adventure.

[elucubrare]

What are your biggest turn-offs when reading/watching historical fiction or retellings of myths?

this is really complicated - i can put it in two boxes, both of which are packed very full.

disconnection from the material reality of the past

when characters display a very specifically modern mindset (about social issues especially, but other stuff too)

(I also get bothered by some kinds of modern language - I don't mind it when, idk, an author uses "sensible" with the modern connotation of "practical" and not the 18th century "emotional" or "empathetic", but "yeah" or "okay," or even, as i found out when someone used it in medieval fantasy, "holy shit" will get on my nerves.)

there are modern things where (made up example!) a character who's supposed to be a cook will talk about making caprese salad for a fancy restaurant in December, and someone snarking on the book will say "yeah, right, they should know better than to make something that depends on a fresh summer vegetable!" and even with greenhouses, that's pretty fair. and that's even more extreme in the past. it's 1650 in Verona, it's December, you cannot obtain fresh tomatoes. i don't think this means that people in the past were, necessarily, more emotionally or spiritually in tune with the cycle of the year, or the labor it took to get clothes, or furniture, or any other material item, and of course wealth can insulate people from some of that difficulty, but it does mean that the seasons had more direct impact on people's lives. It's possible to, for example, buy clothes ready-made, but for anything fancy, it's more likely that it'll be made to fit if it's new, or altered extensively and painstakingly if it's not. that means that tearing or staining a fancy dress isn't just an issue of looking bad - you can't just replace it, and you probably won't throw it out - you figure out how to reuse it. those concerns of access to material goods are just a lot closer to the surface of the world than they often are now.

my objections to modern attitudes about the world are not that people in the past 100% accepted the views of their contemporaries - there were always people who didn't, and it makes sense that a protagonist would be one of them. but people wouldn't phrase those objections in the same way that modern people would - say your main character doesn't want a woman accused of being a witch burned. "God's power is such that the Devil cannot give this woman the ability to sour milk" is most likely going to be more persuasive to the crowd than "witches aren't real." and sometimes that's rough - it's not super fun to read about a Roman with Roman attitudes about provincial wars, or slavery in the city, but I put something down because a Roman character said (in internal dialogue) that he was disgusted to see that a man had been tortured because "Romans simply didn't do that." Historical Romans did do that, routinely - a slave could not testify in a law court unless they had been tortured. Even with distasteful things like that, I'd much rather it just be glossed over than to have them say the "correct" modern thing. It just makes it feel too much like the theme park version of the culture.

Both of these are because of specific things I come to historical fiction for - I want that sense of alienation, the gulf of experience. I hate that most historical fiction (and fantasy set in semi-recognizable periods) characters don't really care about Honor, except as a joke, because I love when characters organize their lives around arcane rules and systems that cause tiny things to escalate into blood feud. I just think they're neat! I like it when people's worldviews are shaped by their lack of scientific certainty about what causes crops to fail! If I wanted to read about people who thought and acted like me, and had lives that were mostly similar to mine, only cooler, I'd just read contemporary fiction.

[luveline]

Spencer coming home from a long case only to find reader has unexpectedly adopted a bunny? ("Look Spence!! This is Doctor Bunny Reid :)")

thank u for ur request ♡ gn!reader

Your apartment smells strangely like straw. 

Spencer creeps inside quietly. It's five AM, too early for him to feel good about waking you up, but he hasn't seen you in eight long days, so he had to come over. He's hoping he can dump his stuff and slide into bed beside you without waking you, content to be close to you, assured that you're alright. 

He shucks off his jacket and his bag of dirty clothes by the door and unlaces his shoes. Hand pressed to the wall, Spencer walks down the short hall, past your living room and kitchen, to your bedroom door. 

"No, Doctor!" you say in a hushed shout from behind the door. "You can't eat that, that's one of his favourites. Woah, that tickles." 

Honestly, the first thing Spencer thinks is that you've gotten so bored you've found yourself enacting odd role play. The second thing he thinks is that you've found someone to do it with, and he quickly backtracks the first thing. He doesn't like the sounds of it, but he can be into it if you're into it. Probably. 

"Y/N?" he asks, pulling down the handle and opening the door.

You're sitting on the floor by your bed in strange attire. His t-shirt (that, while he appreciates the sentiment, does not fit you even slightly) under an old soft sweater with a huge hole in the collar. Black sweatpants, one sock, and a pair of white bunny ears perched in your hair. 

"You're not supposed to be back until seven," you say, shocked.

"That was my seven, not your seven… Surprise?" 

"Spence, I'd totally run at you right now, but," —you point at your lap— "I'm occupied." 

Spencer is disappointed, doubly confused by what you're pointing at. The soft lump at your abdomen isn't your tummy after all, but a moving grey creature of the same colour. 

"A rabbit?" he asks, eyes widening as the bunny in question nuzzles your sweater for petting. 

"Doctor Bunny Reid," you say, avoiding Spencer's eyes, a sheepish tinge to your admission. "To be precise."

"Your sock?" he asks, moving down onto his knees adjacent to your own. 

"He took it. I don't know where it went." 

Spencer quirks a smile. "He's cute. I don't think I can compete, really." 

You put your hand on the bunny's back and lean forward. "You compete," you say, pouting gently, "you're adorable." 

His smile turns to pleased surprise as you kiss him. Twice in quick succession, before you arm curls behind his back for a loose hug over your new pet.

Spencer breathes in your smell. Or, attempts to. "The hay and ammonia is a lot." 

"I know. I'll figure it out, I promise… I missed you, Spence." 

"I can sort of tell." Spencer isn't sure he needs to be a profiler to realise that adopting a bunny and naming it after him while he was gone is the sort of thing only a very lonely person would do. "How's he so calm?" 

"He's, um, four years old, he's used to handling. I got him at the pound. His owner died last week." 

"You have all the stuff for him?" 

"Of course I do," you say, leaning back to meet his eyes. "I didn't mean to get him just 'cos I was lonely, I promise I actually read up on it before I decided. He's handsome, isn't he? You wanna feel how silky his ears are?" 

Spencer doesn't doubt you care, or that you're responsible, he's just surprised. You hadn't mentioned wanting a rabbit before. Petting the rabbits ears softly, he asks, "You know they live for eight to twelve years? Sometimes longer? The oldest rabbit ever documented was eighteen years old." 

You frown. "I know, Spence, it's a commitment. I should've asked you first, but I–" 

"No, I mean. It's not about that, I hope we get longer than eighteen years together. But are you sure Doctor Bunny Reid is the name you want to choose?" 

Your face floods with relief. "Well, his real name was Mr. Patterson. Which one do you like better?" 

The bunny has enough of your lap, hopping down onto the floor and bolting for what appears to be a big wooden house you've set up for him. There are black partitions for an enclosure leaned up against the wall. Spencer can guess exactly how he'll be spending the day, and it involves less cuddling than he thought. 

Spencer takes your empty lap as an opportunity to hug you again, a protective hand cupped behind your head. "Definitely Mr. Patterson," he says, resting his nose against your cheek. 

You laugh infectiously, leaning back under his weight.

"I missed you. I'm glad to be home," he murmurs. 

You hug him tighter. "I missed you, too." 

[theabigailthorn]

Hey I’ve been a fan for a little while now, and I just wanted to say that you’ve been an inspiration for me, a younger transfemme. But I do wanna also ask: what’s it like being a trans woman with her life together? I’m 19 (as of sending), been on hrt for almost 5 months, and have been trans for a year and change. But I’m scared. So, I guess, I wanted to ask: does being trans ever become the norm, my baseline? What’s it like after 2-3 years? And does it get any less confusing or scary?

I think there are a few things going on here.

I don't have my life together as much as it might seem; I just don't show you all the ways it's not. I don't talk publicly about the auditions I don't get, or the things I try and fail at, or the insecurities in my own head that hold me back sometimes, or the handful of decisions I've made that were bad calls and which still keep me up occasionally. I've talked about trauma and mental illness in the past, but I only ever discuss stuff I'm comfortably over - when I'm overwhelmed or in the middle of a crisis I don't post about it. I don't set out to deceive you by presenting myself that way, I just keep my most private stuff private. Everybody has failures and regrets and insecurities: "it's a sign of having lived," as my friend Phoebe told me today. But you see a curated version of me that appears not only more together than the real person, but more together than any real person.

Also, if you're 19 a lot of your life hasn't been in your control until pretty recently and a lot of it still might not be. I'd say it's okay to not feel like you have it all together. You just transitioned, which I think is one of the hardest things a human being can do: you can give yourself credit for that even if you feel like you're not settled into it yet. Congratulations!

As for it becoming the baseline, I mean yeah? Kinda? At least for me. Sometimes I forget. I had a moment today in the gym where I saw a man and I was like "Oh yeah, I used to be one of them, sortof? Weird!" The first year is the hardest, or so they say. I wouldn't say I get less confused or scared now, just scared and confused in different ways. I worry less about getting attacked in the street than I did in my first year, for example. (I'm lucky and privileged in that regard.) But I worry a lot more about other people. I struggle a lot with survivor's guilt, which is something only people who survive get! Anyone who's had a drink with me in the last six months has heard me beat myself up because the night of The Prince premiere in New York was the night of Brianna Taylor's vigil in the UK. That wasn't a deliberate decision - the premiere was booked and paid for months before she was even killed - but I've become a lot more sensitive to those sorts of feelings precisely because I spend less time worrying about myself. I'm more aware now of what my transness means for other people. Like, I made an ironic joke when I came out that I'd become The Transgender Princess of TERF Island, and it's kindof haunted me since - I didn't set out to become "a famous trans person" but it's happened a little bit and it's going to happen a lot more next year. That comes with serious responsibilities and a few mild drawbacks, as well as perks, obviously. So I guess that's a longwinded way of saying I might be a weird person to ask this question because, at least for right now, my transness, my whole self, doesn't just belong to me.

Oh also, some great advice I got from my friends: Paris: "Only change the things that bother you on your good days," and Mattie: "Don't believe anything you think about your life after 9pm."

[bananastarion]

Rambling headcanons about how Astarion's trauma could manifest in your relationship.

Disclaimer: I am not fetishizing trauma or PTSD here. I have C-PTSD myself, and have dated others with it as well. So some of this is (loosely) inspired by my own experiences. It's not pretty, it's not fun, but I'd say it's pretty realistic. So yeah, fair warning! Anyway, let's gooooo

Astarion isn't fazed by much, but he IS claustrophobic- having to claw your way out of your own coffin, being trapped in a mindflayer pod and being trapped in a tomb for a year straight would do that to anyone. If he is ever unfortunate enough to be stuck in a small space again, he'll go into a blind panic. He'll hyperventilate and try to force his way out any way he can, and if he can't get out in time he'll just completely mentally shut down for a bit. If you plan to pull him into a little broom closet for a sneaky fuck, just forget it ok? You will probably get your eyes accidentally clawed out.

There is a long period in your relationship where Astarion is gradually getting more comfortable with being vulnerable around you, but he's also very self-conscious about it. He doesn't want you to pity him or think he's weak. You will be tempted to give him lots of validation and praise to make up for all of the psychological abuse he endured, to reassure him that he's finally safe and free, and that you love him for more than just his body. That his problems won't ever drive you away, and that you don't judge him. He appreciates your words deeply, he wants and needs them more than he cares to admit. But at the same time, they completely overwhelm him. Finally being in a good place with a caring partner is such a stark contrast to what he's been through, that it forces him to see even deeper into the void inside him and recognize just how badly he was treated, how deprived he's been. They hit him hard in both good and bad ways, and sometimes he'll tell you to stop because he just can't handle feeling so much right now. It's best to stick to mostly surface level stuff and ease carefully into the deeper, more meaningful observations.

The sweeter your words, the more his mind races with fears that you are idealizing him and eventually you'll come to see him for what he really is- and then abandon him. Fears that he'll come to depend on your kindness only for it to be ripped away, whether by you or by circumstances beyond his control. Fears that you don't really mean it, that you're just manipulating him the way he did to others. Deep down he hopes and trusts you're sincere, but it's just so hard to accept when Cazador's voice is in his head, countering all of it. This is all so new to him, so unknown. And the unknown is terrifying. He gets frustrated that your kindness does this to him, he wants to be able to embrace your words, he's so impatient to heal and finally be over this shit already. He judges himself so harshly for still struggling with all this. Cazador's dead, he is free, he has someone who truly loves him- why isn't that enough?! Why can't he fully appreciate it, is he just going to feel broken forever? He worries he'll take too long to get over his past, and you'll get tired of it and leave. Expect to give him lots of reassurance about all of this.

He doesn't like to cry around you, but over time you will lower his guard enough that he'll stop fighting back the tears quite so much. Sometimes it's a bad dream, sometimes you say something that just hits him hard (even if it's in a good way), and sometimes he has no idea what triggered it. You tell him he can wake you up any time if he needs you, but often he chooses not to wake you and just suffers through it alone. When it happens while you're both awake, at first he would roll over and face away from you when the tears started flowing if he couldn't collect himself, and you'd just hug him from behind. But eventually he feels comfortable enough to bury his face in your chest and just let it all out. When it's really bad, he'll be trembling and hugging you so tightly as he sobs into your shirt that it's almost hard for you to breathe. The best thing you can do is just be there with him, stroke his hair, caress the tears off his cheeks. It can be dicey, but eventually you learn to read him well enough that sometimes stroking the scars on his back very gently can be healing for him. There are other times though, when this will be too much for him. Same goes for kissing. Also, don't even think about telling anyone you've seen him like this. But of course, why would you?

Don't go into therapist mode with him when he's that vulnerable, and if he decides to talk, just let him talk. Hold space for him and be there with him. Afterwards, help ground him in the present and reconnect him to his senses by pointing out things in the room, remind him that it's not all happening to him right now. Realize how special it is that he feels safe enough with you to be so vulnerable. There are times when he even breaks down during sex, and he'll say that he's fine and you can keep going, but it's for the best to stop what you're doing and check in instead. He often dissociates when he's triggered, and doesn't realize something is wrong until it's too late.

Trauma isn't always pretty, and there are times when it does strain your relationship. When he's really triggered, he might take it out on you. He'll try his best to push you away, and say terrible things he doesn't mean. Perhaps things Cazador said to him. His articulate manner of speech can be sharper than his blade when wielded against you in the heat of the moment. He doesn't believe you can love this side of him, that he is fundamentally broken and unlovable, so it's a test of sorts to prove his own fears. He doesn't necessarily realize what he's doing, he's just lashing out from a point of pure fear. Trauma is an explanation for this behavior, but not an excuse, so it's important you set very firm and consistent boundaries when he gets like this. He might not appreciate it in the moment, but he will once he calms down.

It takes some time for him to feel truly secure with you, but he's getting there. In the meantime, he's starting to get a little clingy and codependent. He's not used to having so much freedom, and doesn't always know what to do with himself when you're not around. Being in your presence is when he's closest to feeling safe and at ease, and being apart for too long can cause his mind to race, especially when he has nothing to distract himself with. It drives him crazy that it gets to him so much- he's never been dependent on anyone before, and this side of him surprises himself. He hates it, which only stresses him out more. He tries to play it off, but it's very obvious he is struggling with separation anxiety. You don't want to overindulge him, but to ease his fears you decide to get a pair of magical rings. You can make each other's rings glow whenever you want- so if Astarion is feeling lonely, he can make your ring glow and you can make his glow back. Sometimes, just that is enough to get him through a rough day without you. Once he has done some more healing, eventually he will come to enjoy his alone time in a way he's never gotten to before in his life, and as much as you enjoy spending time with him, you'll be so happy for him to finally have that.

[lowkeyremi]

Dating the teacher P2 plsssss <3 (if you want to do a part 2)

I was actually thinking about doing part 2 I just wasn't sure when, thanks for prompting me to do it :)) also sorry this took me so long, my motivation is still slowly coming back, which also explains why this is so short

"Mom I swear the hot cocoa's good! Just try it!!!" Denki tries for the 5th time? You think it's the 5th, you started tuning him out because you're nervous.

It's christmas break for Denki, and you decided that it's finally the time for him to meet your boyfriend... his teacher.

"I'm good hon, I promise." You offer him a smile and he returns it.

"Okay! Anyway, I'm excited to meet your boyfriend. He's nice right? If he isn't I don't think we'll get along. You deserve to be happy after being alone for fifteen years." Denki's been chatting your ear off about Shota for the past two days (since he got back home). He doesn't know it's Shota though.

Denki made one of those ugly sweaters for him, so he could match you and your son. He wants to be a "happy family" his words not yours, you thought the two of you were a happy family, but Denki had said, "we're happy but not complete! Do you know what I mean? I don't know just ignore me." His words repeated in you're head for awhile.

It's true that you're happy.. but are you complete?

You're pulled out of your thoughts when the door bell rings. You can feel your stomach drop, "I'll go get it!" Denki runs to the door, you spring up off the couch and follow after him. He opens the door, "Good evening, Denki."

"Mr. Aizawa?!" Denki yells in surprise. His body twists to look at you.

"Are you sleeping with him to get me good grades?" Denki asks, and you open your mouth in shock.

"Denki! What the hell are you talking about? You get good grades because of your effort!" Aizawa quirks a brow at Denki's question.

"I'm so sorry Shota, come in." Your child is still in slight shock at the fact that you're dating his teacher.. teacher!!!!

------

The first couple of minutes are awkward. Shota's sitting next to you on the couch and Denki's sitting on the single seater furthest away from the couch. He doesn't say a word while the movie's playing. Obviously he's not too interested in it, he must be thinking you presume.

Shota rubs his large, warm hand up and down your thigh, an attempt to comfort you. "He'll come around, don't work yourself up over it." He whispers into your ear. You really wanted to cry, in your mind you'd hope everything would go well but with the way your son is distancing himself from you... must mean he doesn't approve, right?

"I hope so, I really want him to like you, Sho." Those comforting arms of his wrap around you. Shota Aizawa is the world's best cuddler, and anyone who disagrees can fight you.

"Mom."

Those nerves which just settled jumped sky high once again, "yes, baby?"

"I'm uh- happy for you. Hope you didn't get the wrong idea. I was just kinda shocked y'know. Like, Aizawa sensei of all people.." he trails off not finishing that sentence.

"I can assure you Denki, that I treat your mother well. Just as I take care of all my students. I'm sure you must think I'd be the last person to be domestic." Shota's voice is smooth as always and you calm down a little bit. Nervous breath slows into something somewhat normal.

"That's exactly what I was thinking! You're always in that sleeping bag and stuff. And you're mean sometimes!" Denki whines slightly and you take the opportunity to slip into the kitchen.

You'll let them talk, man to man... or man to boy? You'll never accept time aging up your baby boy.

The kitchen smells delightful, it's just cold enough for chicken noodle soup, so that's what you've decided to make. It's a recipe passed down in your family but you like to add your own little twist which makes it special.

If anything goes with chicken noodle soup it's grilled cheese. The cheese melts perfectly with the bread while it's cooking on your greased griddle. It's only been about thirty minutes since you escaped the living room and you hear Shota and Denki laughing together.

That weight on your shoulders has suddenly been lifted and relief settles in. Thank God, you were scared things would go south.

"Mom, you have to keep him. He told me he took you sky-diving for your birthday! I would have never expected him to go sky-diving but he went because you wanted to." A big smile cracks on your face when you see that glimmering shine in Denki's eyes.

"Hey Mr. Aizawa does that mean I can call you Shota outside of school?!"

"Shota, dad, whatever fits the bill, kid." Shota wraps his arms around your waist and places his chin on your shoulder. (i think i have an obsession with men hugging you from behind)

"That smells so good, pretty mama." He breathes out evenly. Your own breath hitches at the new nickname.

But of course your ever loving son ruins the moment, "ewwwwww disgusting! Can you flirt when I'm not right here?! I might barf in my chicken noodle soup."

Somehow you and Shota roll your eyes in sync and Denki snorts.

"I love you mom and dad." He says softly.

That fucking does it, the tears spill. Happy ones at that. Your son has accepted Shota into his life. You expected it'd at least be a few months, maybe years before he'd start calling him dad, but you figure with no father figure in his life, having one right now must mean the world to him.

"I love you too my sweet little boy." Shota wipes those tears with his big scarred hand.

"I'm actually not little I'm about sixteen years old." He argues.

"You've still got a few months until you're sixteen."

[aingeal98]

Idk if you wrote about it in the past, but thoughts about a potential Stephcass wedding? How it would play out, what they wear etc. With those women it could be interesting lol

I'd like to see you tackle that in a story if you wanted to, considering you write fanfiction and did a really good job imo with this ship.

OK so I actually have a detailed idea in my head of how stephcass plays out in the future that starts with them getting together, breaking up because Cass grows even more intense in her commitment to the mission once she becomes Batman, and then a year or two later Cass showing up in Steph's apartment with a kid being like hey I rescued this kid from being forced to be a child assassin but his parents are dead and idk what to do pls help.

And Steph is like we haven't talked in five months are you fucking kidding me. But she's not a monster and Cass looks way over her head so the two of them start kind of coparenting this kid because Cass understands the assassin aspect but she has no idea what school supplies a 10 year old might need. And then one thing leads to another and it turns out Cass may actually be worse at this adoption addiction than Bruce is because despite her firm belief that she is not capable of being a good mother she is also unwilling to Not help any child assassin she meets. And often that includes adoption because there is no other family uniquely capable of understanding the trauma these kids are going through.

(Cass meets an alarming amount of child assassins. She doesn't adopt ALL of them because they don't all need that specific type of help. Steph is still mildly concerned and not just because her apartment is getting way too full even though all the kids technically live at the manor and Steph is just a family friend.)

So in my mind they do everything backwards. They're exes then they're coparents then they're kind of rekindling things and then five years after Cass adopts the first kid she's like hey do you want to have a baby together because I didn't think I'd be a good mom but I actually really love helping these kids and I really like doing this with you and I think I'm actually ready to be both Batman and the mother of a baby. I get why Bruce was scared but I'm built different so I simply won't die and this kid will grow up happy and loved and I'll teach it everything I know and you can teach it important life stuff like what the settings on the washing machine actually mean and why certain clothes need dry cleaning.

And Steph is like woah that's a lot to process but Cass babe you have to ask me on a date first. And Cass is like have we not already been dating for a few years now? And Steph is like no showing up on my doorstep with a kid who needs a good meal, a shower and medical attention is not actually a date. Neither is attending those little league games together or patrolling together. If you're going to ask me to have a baby I'm going to need a ring on this finger and you're going to have to work for it.

So they date, and then they get married, and they have a bunch more kids most of whom are adopted or fostered. By the time Cass is forty she has five kids, the oldest of whom she adopted as a 10 year old and is now 21. And she and Steph have been married for five years technically but have been coparenting for eleven.

The wedding itself would be pretty straightforward, if more extravagant than normal. Cass wears a suit and is mildly uncomfortable with having to talk about her feelings in front of an entire audience. Steph wears a dress and can't stop smiling because god she loves this woman so much even though she can be a dumbass sometimes. Especially because she can be a dumbass sometimes actually.

The whole family is there. Bruce cries. Crystal makes snide but deserved comments at him the entire time. Tim was asked by both women to be their best man and almost spiraled into another self destructive slump from trying to process all the emotions he felt about that. In the end Cass takes Babs with Bruce walking her up the aisle and Steph takes Tim, who still looks mildly terrified throughout the entire ceremony, like one wrong move from him is going to bring the entire building down on top of them.

Two of Cass's enemies do show up to try and ruin the wedding but unfortunately for them they end up making it so much better instead because Cass gets to kiss her wife AND punch some bad guys in the face all in the same event. She's having the time of her life. What the hell was Bruce so afraid of this marriage thing is EASY.

(It's not easy. Cass is able to balance the mission and her family better than Bruce but that doesn't mean problems don't exist. The kids are used to at least one fight every six months where Steph basically yells at Cass for all the ways she's been letting Batman responsibilities come between them and Cass is like psh I don't know what you're talking about and then gets her act together because she does in fact know what Steph is talking about. She takes Steph to Themyscira on a vacation as an apology. She doesn't repeat her mistakes but she does make new ones because it turns out there are infinite ways you can mess up when raising kids especially when your work is being Batman and you're never going to stop. Steph messes up too although her mistakes are less to do with work life balance and more to do with hurtful comments made during arguments that she regrets. It's never anything bad enough to break them up again, and for the most part they're shockingly the most healthy and well adjusted pairing of the family. Damian takes great joy in reminding Tim of this fact.)

I've basically just written an abridged version of a very long fanfic idea that exists in my head haha but thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to ramble about this!

[logansargeantsbabymom]

You're Dead To Me.

Lando Norris x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Uncle

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

A/N: this is based off a situation that happened to me irl and everything the reader says is basically everything I want to say to this blood relative. (I'm hoping this is therapeutic for me) and as much as I want to I'm not using this relative's real name.

warnings: Cursing, deadbeat uncle, mentions of suicidal thoughts, mentions of attempted suicide, maybe mentions of mental abuse but idk.

NOT PROOF READ!! COULDN'T SEE THROUGH THE TEARS 🤪🤪

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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I stared at the text message on my phone. I know I shouldn't answer it but part of me wants to know why he's texting me, why now after all this time he reached out to me?

My uncle (if that's what you could even call him) texted me. Just a plain and simple message: "Can we meet for lunch and talk?" I should've just ignored him like he's done to me for the past 4 years but I like to think that I'm better than that.

"Babe, is something wrong?" Lando asked as he nudged the side of my arm

"Hmm?" was all I hummed while I finally pulled back from my phone

"You've been staring at your phone with a sad look for the past 5 minutes" Lando said as he placed a reassuring hand on top mine

Lando and I were currently having coffee by the kitchen Island in our house. Well I was drinking coffee, Lando was drinking tea.

"Yeah, Jace just texted me. Wants to know if I want to meet with him to have lunch today to 'talk' whatever that means." I said unsure of what emotion to feel right now

"Jace, as in your uncl-"

"DON'T call him my uncle." I snapped as I cut Lando off.

I honestly didn't mean to snap at him but he knows about all the things he's done to me, to my family. He knows that I'm ashamed he's my blood relative and sometimes I wish I never met him.

"Right, m'sorry" A pinch of regret and sadness laced his voice which made me feel even more mad

"No, fuck. M'sorry Lando, you just know how I feel about him and I guess hearing you call him my uncle kinda sent me over the edge." I could feel the lump in my throat and my eyes burn at just the thought of being in front of him.

After a few seconds the silence was broken as Lando started talking "I'll be with you, if you meet with him"

"Yeah, I think I'd like that." I mumbled as I roughly rubbed my face with my palms before picking up my phone and texting Jace back.

Me: 2pm, Holly's Diner. Don't be late and come ALONE. Jace:Thank you.

with a scoff and a sigh I placed my phone down. I had 2 hours before I had to meet Jace, let's just hope I can compose myself.

"Where are we meeting him at?" Lando said as he walked back over to the Island after placing both our mugs in the sink.

"Holly's, 2pm" I said, uncertainty lacing my voice

"Let's get ready then." Lando guided me to our shared room where we gathered all our clothes and thing we'd need for a shower before making our way to the bathroom.

--------

Lando and I have been waiting in this Diner for what felt like years before I finally looked at the time for what must've been the 7th time since we'd arrived. '1:58' just 3 more minutes and then he's late which gives me the green light to leave and avoid him for the rest of my life.

A ring of the bell above the door pulled me from a thought I wasn't aware I was deep into. Turning my head I'm met with a man who I didn't see as family, the man I saw was a total stranger. It didn't take long for him to spot me too, given that the diner wasn't big.

Once Jace got close enough, I watched as his arms opened as if indicating for a hug, which I quickly shut down with an awkward nod. Jace took the note and just sat in front of us.

"Who's this, I thought we were both coming alone?" Jace said gesturing towards Lando who sat in the booth right next to me

"I told you to come alone, I said nothing about me and this is my boyfriend Lando" I saw Jace reach a hand out to shake Lando's hand and as much as I wanted to pull Lando's hand away, I couldn't make his decisions for him.

Lando opted to quickly shake his hand before letting us talk

"So, why'd you want to talk?" I said coldly while playing the ice in my Dr Pepper, avoiding eye contact

"Right! I'm just trying to make amends with the family, you know how much I love you guys so much and I really want to be in your life again. I know I've been a bit distant with you guys, you especially and I want that all to change. I want to be a better Tio to you, I know it's gonna take time but I'm willing to allow as much time as you need, Valerie also wants to see you again." Hearing him say all of that almost made me to storm out. I felt the lump coming back in my throat and my eyes starting watering. There was no way I was getting through this little meeting without absolutely sobbing and throwing shit at him.

"Are you kidding? You called me here to makes amends? Do you know all the shit-"

"Hey! You know how I feel about curing." He had the nerve to cut me off

"NO! I'm talking! I gave you the floor interruption free so I want the floor interruption free!" I could feel my blood boil and if it warns for Lando right next to me I think I would've absolutely lost my shit already.

Jace just stared at me before slightly nodding his head gesturing me to continue

"Do you know all the SHIT you put me through?? All the shit you put my family thro-"

"They're my family too" oh you're fucking joking me right?

"You have one more time to interrupt me before I walk out and block you" I said sternly as I pointed my finger at the older man in front of me.

I know I should have respect for my elders but I only respect them when they respect me.

"Sir, please let her finish" Lando tried pleading with the man

"This doesn't concern you. I don't know why you're here." Oh NOW I'm fucking done

"Lando, let's go. We're leaving" I said as I started to make my way out of the booth

"No! Please, I'm sorry. We need to talk." Now he wants to listen to me. Unbefuckinglievable.

I felt Lando's hand on my wrist which caused me to look at him. His eyes saying 'just let him hear you out' which made me reluctantly give in and sit back down.

"One more disrespectful remark or interruption, I'm LEAVING"

"Sorry" Jace mumbled

"I don't care what kind of realization you came to that made you realized that you fucked up and wanted us back but its 5 years too late. Do you know how many things I've done in my life that I thought you would be proud of? I tried to call you when I got my permit and you declined the call, I thought you were busy so I waited a few hours before I called you back and you still didn't answer so I let it go. I also tried to call you when I got my license but you also didn't answer, I invited you to my National Honors Society induction ceremony and you didn't show, I invited you to my sweet 16 and you didn't come, I then invited you to my 18th birthday party and surprise surprise you didn't show. Against my better judgement, I invited you to my high school graduation and you told wela that you already had dinner plans and you 'couldn't' move it. Do you know how much each and every single one of those situations hurt me? How much I HATED still wanting your validation even though I knew you couldn't care less? That's only the tip of the iceberg after we moved to Pennsylvania, when we still lived in Florida and we all live together, do you know how much I HATED living there after Valerie and her 2 kids moved in? Valerie never liked me, she and her daughter ALWAYS blamed everything wrong on mean guess what? You NEVER stood up for me once. You punished me for my dirty room even though it wasn't my mess and after you realized that it was in fact Erica's mess and not mine, you never apologized to me. You didn't care for me, didn't love me and you even told me so. Remember that one day in the pool where you told me AND I QUOTE 'you don't get love because you're the middle child' then proceeded to get mad at me when I got upset, claiming that I 'couldn't take a joke'? Well I do because it's fucking drilled in my head. I bet you don't remember the time you punished me so hard for a DIFFERENT mess that Erica made that it really made me believe that you didn't love me and that you really didn't care whether I lived or died so I tried to kill myself that night? I bet you do because my mom absolutely reamed you a new asshole because of it. Yeah, that wasn't the only time I tried to kill myself because of you. I tried 4 separate times and at the time I was mad that God didn't let me die but now I'm kinda happy. I'm happy because I met the love of my life, I have a great job oh and remember my dad's oldest friend Luis? Yeah he took on the role of the uncle you were supposed to be to me and my siblings. Everything you were supposed to go to that you didn't, he went to. He made sure that we knew he loved us, he takes us to the movies, to amusement parks, pools, he's gone on family vacations with us and overall in the last 4 years he's been the 'play' uncle, he's the best uncle I could ever ask for. Oh and I know you just want to be in my life right now because I've had a pretty successful career working for the McLaren f1 team and my boyfriend is an f1 driver, but to give you my answer on whether I'll allow you to make amends with me, my answer is a big fat fucking no." I said as I threw the linen on the table before grabbing Lando's hand and got out of the booth before turning to face Jace one more time "Oh and you're dead to me" I said before Lando and I walked out of the diner.

I somehow didn't cry at all through my whole speech to Jace. I also knew that I wasn't going to be able to hold in all this anger and sadness anymore and soon I was going to breakdown.

--------

Miraculously, I somehow was able to make it home without crying too. It was only a 10 minute car ride but it consisted of concentrated breathing and occasionally looking up when I could feel the tears well in my waterline.

"Baby, are you okay?" Lando said as he closed and locked the front door.

The second those last three words came out his mouth, the wall I built up came crumbling down and so did I. I just fell to my knees and started sobbing into my palms, I haven't cried this hard since my dad confronted me and started crying about my suicide attempt. I quickly felt Lando wrap his arms around me before gently lifting me up and walking over to the couch before sitting down and placing me on his lap allowing me to sob into his chest, while whispering sweet nothings in my ear the whole time.

We stayed like this for about a good 10 minutes before I stopped crying, well I didn't necessarily stop crying but I wasn't a gasping mess like before.

One thing about Lando? He's one hell of a comforter and I love him dearly for that.

--------

Sorry for dropping this on you guys but I'm hoping this is therapeutic for me because it allows me to say what I want to say (even if I can't say it to his face)

this really isn't proof read, I literally cant stop crying rn.

taglist:

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @eddieharrington @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @Ggasly.p @tellybearryyyy

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Kyoshi/Roku first meeting prediction:

Ok ok I know I talked about Kyoshi being a fucking menace to her past lives. But like......I really just started thinking about what her first meeting with Roku might be. *w*

I know I said I kinda wanted him to be a fanboy of her (which I still do). More so before he meets her, but I'm fine if it doesn't happen until AFTER (it'd be at least a little different compared to Kuruk, who fanboyed the whole time, and Roku only did it after meeting her).

And I thought it'd be cute if he accidentally called her mom. And she's like "Yup, we're def the same people" jfkldsajf

But WHAT IF.....they have like the WORST meeting? TT0TT Like boi is PISSED, people keep comparing them. They keep putting pressure on him to fill her big ass shoes ("She has the largest feet out of any Avatar, what do they expect me to do?!"), Fire Nationals are like grabbing his shoulders and shaking him like "This bitch lived to be 230 and TERROIZED US please you need to figure out how to top that!" And he's like "????? I am 16 sir/ma'am wtf you talking about???"

Like imagine he has all that pressure, he's going through it in the novel, he can't communicate with Kyoshi (yet) and is just DONE.

Then finally he gets connected, and Kyoshi rolls up and:

Kyoshi, appearing all regal and neutral/emotionless as usual: You seem to be in some trouble, how can I assist? Roku: You know what? I don't NEED your assistance, you're just going to make things worse! Like how you made my life worse! Kyoshi: ???? You mean how you grew up in an era of peace and prosperity and never had to worry about going hungry? Roku: I-no, that's-ALL THE OTHER STUFF! Kyoshi: You'll need to explain, I've done a lot of 'stuff.' Roku: You're a tyrant! You scared people shitless, you're shadow is so large it's suffocating, everyone expects me to be like you, you're TERRIFYING *lists off all the anti-Kyoshi propoganda he can think of* Basically, I HATE YOU! I hate you so much, I wish you never existed. I wish you alive right now so I could watch you die again so I'd get at least SOME satisfaction out of it. I hate you Avatar Kyoshi. I hate you! Kyoshi: ............. Kyoshi: *closes eyes and puts head down* Kyoshi: snrk... Roku: ? Kyoshi: *throws head back and starts laughing* Roku: ?????!!!!!!!!!!!! Wha-you're laughing?! You really are as mad as they say? Kyoshi, still laughing: M-mad??? I-I'm not mad! This-is-oh. Oh my Yangchen! Snrrrrk. I haven't laughed this hard in over 100 years. Oh this is priceless! Oh I can't wait to tell Kuruk and Yangchen, they're going to love this! Oh that was so brutal, is this what it felt like for them? Oh my spirits, my sides! How do my sides hurt when I'm already dead! Roku: Wha-what are you talking about??? Kyoshi, gasping for air and laughing: Oh baby boi, you have no idea. You really ARE me. Roku: That doesn't make any sense! Kyoshi: Oh it does to me! Roku: I just said I hate you and you're laughing! What's the matter with you?! Kyoshi: Oh, sweetie, join the club. If I cried over every person who told me they hated me, I could've flooded the entire Earth Kingdom 10 times over.

And then sometime after her advice he becomes a fanboi afjdlksjfl;a Cause I think it'd be cute, and a cute arc, and I need my girl to have more in-universe fans (that aren't her weapons or Rangi-yes I'll make that joke a second time 8U)

[remcycl333]

Hi, I really enjoyed reading your indepth post today on how to fulfill ourselves. I really admire you and the “states girlies” a lot because you guys really know your stuff!

I have a bit of a scenario that i’ve been “stuck” in and in my own head about, if you have time i would really appreciate some advice.

So i’ve been “manifesting” my sp for a little over 2 years now using law of assumption, but in reality i’ve only TRULY been manifesting him using states for the last 8 months. I have a really good understanding of states thanks to you and twitter pages, edward art and neville. I promise I don’t focus on time (until recently when i was making plans for my future which i always assumed my sp would be here for) and I never intended that manifesting takes a long time. I’ve experienced many quick manifestations and I know sp is no different but im not sure where im going wrong. I always catch myself when im out of the state and redirect myself back and have been doing this daily for the last 8 months. I do feel fulfilled in my mind with him since I no longer have a “longing” for him nor do I expect him to take any action in the 3D because thats not my true world. I dont even feel bad/sad when “opposite” things seem to happen (such as him unfollowing me out of the blue) and I give stuff like that NO meaning because it GENUINELY doesn’t affect me since I know in imagination im happily married. I know you’ll tell me that im not truly fulfilled if the 3D is making me feel some type of way, but Im not sure how else to explain that I don’t know why not even the tiny bit of movement has happened (I dont want movement, I want my whole desire, just trying to say how in my physical senses there has been nothing experienced).

I keep up with your posts weekly and I know you’ll tell me that if im noticing the absence im not in the state, that im dominantly still in lack, etc but I truly felt like I was fulfilled. I never check the 3D, I never even have “opposing” thoughts (since thoughts are an indicator of my state) so I thought for months that everything is fine. Even now I am prioritizing my state because I know that by writing this, I am being in an unfulfilled state, but im not sure what else to do. After a while it gets a little weird noticing it hasn’t reflected even though im fulfilled within. Am I doing anything wrong? I dont have a strong desire for my sp anymore because I worked a lot on myself and no longer need him, but I do wish to be with him still.

Thank you rem.

hi love! so im not in your brain, so i don't know every little thing you think/do throughout the day, so im gonna give u some examples of things i was accidentally doing whenever i was manifesting an sp that was keeping my 3d from reflecting, even tho i was sure i was 100% fulfilled. maybe you'll realize you're doing something similar and be able to stop it?

i'd prepare myself for what i'd say to my sp when he finally reached out, or i'd daydream about yelling at him when he did bc i knew before we got back together we'd have to talk about our past issues. this was contradicting the fact that i was manifesting already being in a relationship with my sp. why would i be identifying with those thoughts when i was already with my sp?

i like to daydream in order to fulfill myself, but sometimes i'd stop paying attention and accidentally slip into a state of longing without even realizing it. like i'd be daydreaming about something bc i desperately wanted to experience it in my reality, not because i was experiencing it in my 4D, if that makes sense. what i like to do to combat that is while im daydreaming i just like to tell myself that im re-living a memory and that im so happy this thing already happened/is happening. it helps me think from my desire instead of thinking of it!

my friends have shared that one of their mistakes while manifesting an sp was still wanting their sp to be missing them/obsessed with them/constantly thinking about how badly they wanted to be with them, daydreaming about scenarios of them being jealous, etc. this was making them identify with separation, when they really wanted to identify as their sp's partner.

similarly, an issue i had was focusing way too much on how my sp was feeling about me, instead of focusing on how i was feeling about them. when i'd daydream or imagine, i'd imagine them loving ME or confessing their feelings to ME, but then i realized that how i feel matters more than how they feel, because this is my reality! so instead i'd focus on how much i loved them and how amazing i felt being loved by them. that's why, as i mentioned in my most recent post, i changed from affirming "my sp loves me" to "i love my sp."

while manifesting my sp, i knew the first step of us getting back together would be him texting me, so every time i picked up my phone and i saw he hadn't texted me yet id feel sooo discouraged. what helped me with this was telling myself things like "ofc my sp didn't text me, he's literally in the same room as me why would he text me lol?" this would help me feel like we were already together!

i was still PISSED at my sp. idk what your story is with your sp, but mine was an ex, and i was mad at him for breaking up with me still. i had to forgive him because i was constantly holding onto that anger and fantasizing about yelling at him over it. this one might not apply to u depending on your relationship with your sp idk!

similarly, i'd find myself getting mad at my sp for not "conforming" to my affs? even tho he didn't even know i wanted him back? so once again i focused on feeling positively towards my sp and imagining how much i loved him. once i started focusing on the version of my sp that was such a good and loving and attentive boyfriend, he started showing up that way in my reality. remember, there is NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF! focus on changing how YOU feel about your sp instead of how he feels about you!

i know you say that you never feel negatively about your sp or your situation, but as i've mentioned in other posts, sometimes the feeling of knowing feels like nothing. so while you're noticing nothing is happening in your 3D, you can still be accepting the fact that nothing is happening without it giving you any negative emotions.

my advice would be to implement the distraction technique. this is what helped me finally manifest my sp. i had a favorite person attachment to my sp (bc of my bpd) so i was thinking of him ALL day long, and sometimes i wouldn't be paying enough attention to know if i was thinking of him from the state of the wish fulfilled, or from the state of lack. so instead, every time i thought of him at all (negatively or positively) i'd say "it is done" (which instantly shifted me into the state of the wish fulfilled) and then force myself to think of something else. so many of my followers have had success with this technique! this technique isn't necessary at all (you're 100% allowed to think of your sp) but i found it rlly helpful for my adhd brain. it can also be really helpful for you if you can't pinpoint what you're doing wrong!

i really hope this post was helpful to you!! <3 let me know if anything helped!

[vengefulvermin]

Can i get more passage of time/music development yapping ☹️☹️☹️??? I give you official permission to yap the most you can im so interested

YES YES YES YES YES I LOVE THIS ASK

warning beneath the cut SCARY WALL OF TEXT WARNING 😱

decided to divide it into colored parts if you dont gaf about certain elements 😭

second warning all of this is unedited rambling so some points might contradict each other or just plain not make sense.

okay so for CONTEXTTTTT

i have diagnosed OCD, and like, roughly since the end of last year and the beginning of this one, the 'obsession' part of OCD that was negatively affecting me, was the concept of time. how fleeting it was. how it's basically unescapable ALL THINGS MUST PASS (get out of my head george harrison) that shit proper cold dead SCARED ME MAN. sleepless & haunting me in my dreams type shi. sometimes it still does. i try not to think about it too much

to cope, i found great comfort in the 70s-80s since at the time i was and still am hyperfixated on david bowie and that was sort of his prime (love his 90s-00s work tho.) i was also starting to think of how much parallels and similar experiences i have to previous generations and how it's not ALL that bad after all so far. i can still walk to a record store and roller skate if i really wanted to, or go to a diner.

okey here's where the life changing stuff happens. i decided i'd listen to pink floyd's the dark side of the moon. then TIME CAME ON. ohhhh god oh gosh golly god i was bawling and everything the whole song spoke to me on a molecular level. then i found out about DB's song also called time, and i ALSO crode to that. i was like. wow. i'm not alone on this feeling of utter desperation and helplessness as eventually all things Must Pass. (GEORGE HARRSION GTFO)

i used to be bitchy on how i whined i was part of the 'wrong generation.' i thought i was alone, but virtually everyone of almost every era has thought this. somebody who lived my dream life wished they had what i have now.

that's when i started to lowkey realize the parallels and oneness of human experience. i could go to a club in the 70s, and (granted the infrastructure and music remains similar) i could today. nothing would change on how i perceive events. there is no color filter on the past. unless you got huge TVs and stuff all over your house, you could walk around, and think it's the 80s. AND IT'S BASICALLY THE 80s. the way your parents or any other gen Xer saw the world with their *eyes* (not counting the changes in buildings and stuff) is the same as you today pretty much.

i already really enjoy subcultures, and particularly how they evolve and adapt. the indomitable human spirit prevails no matter how gentrified or 'banned' things become. nowadays i feel like there is No Youth Subcultures. at least, none that will pass the test of time and be memorable enough to be remembered in the books. nobody's gonna go to their child and proudly say: "when i was your age, i was a chav" or something. and i credit this to the lack of creativity allowed in the wider music industry.

HEAR ME OUT this is because 90% of youth subcultures had everything to do with music. and now, everything must be palatable. to be clear there's nothing inherently wrong with that type of music, but to me it speaks no soul. it has no risks. contemporary pop music is very much formulaic and this is because now more than ever entertainment (this also applies to movies btw) is more of an investment than passion. I WILL SPECIFY.

music production is so vastly different genre to genre, and we're not letting it flourish because of how much short form content is valued nowadays. LET ME COOK.

tiktoks are formulaic. algorithms are formulaic. WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. there must be an instant hook or rift in music if you want to 'go viral' as a musician. digitized fame doesn't mean SHIT (to me), since clearly monthly listeners don't equate real world fans. album sales are being replaced with streams, and because of how ASS spotify treats its artists, newer, less established acts need to GET ON THE GRIND INSTANTLY to earn Coin. that means that to be smart and work with the exploitative system they're given, they have to make albums filled with 1 minute 30 second songs. so you can technically give them the most amount of streams possible. i feel with this formulaic approach, you can't get 6 minute long gutwrenching guitar pieces. no more 4 minute drum solos, hell avant garde experimental works were 2 people shout their names out at each other for 20 minutes. THERE ARE NO MORE FRANK ZAPPAS.

i'm not going to be one of those sad assholes who claim there's 'no more good rock music' and how it'll never be the same. as corny as this is, the next beatles or nirvana could be right under our noses and we'll NEVER know because of how fame is distributed. it sucks to see a small band beg on tiktok for streams to kickstart their career. but this is what we gotta work with. if we want subcultures to be created and thrive, we gotta go looking underground again, except unlike in the past it's a kajillion times easier now AND everything gets gentrified in 2 tiktok weeks. but this is evolution. MUSIC EVOLUTION

the end honk shoo honk shoo (it's midnight)

[soldateins]

Down with the Alien Sickness

Rick Sanchez x Female Reader Hurt/Comfort Oneshot

I deleted my account last year and I remember how much people loved this fanfic so, I'm posting it again <3

Summary:

Basically, I'm really sick. I can't talk or anything. So, I decided I'd write my first ever R&M fanfic! Where OC is sick but it gets worse in a way that you'd not expect (hopefully!) I hope I write Rick well. He can be slightly out of character but... He's nice sometimes in it which is MEGA OOC for Rick. I also hope it's pretty good anyway, I haven't written in about a year so, holy shit. Hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Sickness, OC gets ill with something, panicking, Rick bring Rick, it's also fluffy and cute at the end - Word count: 2,957

It had been a few days since I'd come home from college sick. Rick forced me to have the past 4 days off and despite my protest, the true look of concern on his face made me follow his advice. He even 'advised' (forced) me to stay at the Smith household, sharing his surprisingly comfortable but small camper-bed with him. Luckily, Beth and Jerry didn't seem to mind, due to Rick doing a 'good deed' in Beth's eyes. In my eyes, it was Rick finding any excuse to have me near him and by the looks Summer gives Rick, the smirk and raising of an eyebrow, she knew it too. I'll admit it, we have a.. 'thing', we just don't really talk about what the 'thing' is - And I find him more than good looking, but I just don't want Beth to find out, y'know, age gaps and all.

Anyway, I'd been sick for a few days, and it was only getting worse. Rick told me it was the common flu, but he had no idea how my stomach had felt, and today was the worst day, by far. I'd spent most of the day lying in his bed, groaning. Quickly, I rose from Rick's camper-bed, suddenly needing to cough something up. Wrapping the thin green duvet around my shoulders, I barged through the door with my shoulder and bolted it to the bathroom.

I slammed the door, threw the duvet to the floor and knelt over the toilet. Shuddering and retching, I heard a gentle knock on the wood of the door, "Uh, Y/N? You- You okay? You don't sound uhhh- okay." Morty's voice whined it's way through the wood. I gagged, and my eyes widened as I brought up the weirdest looking neon green goop that I'd ever seen. I immediately felt relief, gasping for breath, "Yeah.. Uh.. I'm okay now. I think. You can come in, Morty." I shivered as Morty slowly opened the door.

He emitted a slightly unsettled whine as we locked eyes, "I- Ho- Holy shit, Y/N. What the fuck ha- What happened to you? Did- Did Rick do something? Ar-Are you pregnant or?" Morty quickly grabbed the soft duvet and wrapped it around my shoulders tightly, helping me up to sit on the side of the bath. I pulled a disgusted face and scoffed, "I'm sick. I'm not pregnant, and no, Rick had nothing to do with this. Or at least, to me, it happened out of nowhere." Raising my hand with a pointing, shaky finger, I took a breath in, "Can- can you look at whatever the fuck I just hacked up into the toilet? It didn't look real."

Morty cautiously took a step toward the toilet bowl and leaned over a little to look, then immediately recoiled, eyes wide and hand over mouth, "OH! What the FUCK?! Oh, oh! What is- what is that- that green stuff?!" He leaned forward again for another look but looked away just as quickly. I began to panic, shifting as I shouted, "What?! You- What do you mean?! You should know! You sho- Should know, right?" Morty reluctantly took a photo, the first time was with flash, he cursed himself, then took another, flushed the toilet, and came back to me, a firm hand cupping my shoulder, "C'mon, Y/N, let me take you down to Rick."

We got to the garage door and that's when Morty patted my back and gave me his phone, "Here, don't let Rick look through my shit, okay? I've got homework to do." He waltzed his way back into the lounge. I sheepishly knocked on the door, hearing an annoyed grunt in response, "What now, Jerry? There's no serum that'll give you a *burp* a job." I smiled, shook my head, and took that as my cue to open the door, "It's actually me." I croaked, entering the cool garage, wrapping myself tighter in the duvet. Rick took a quick glance at me, "What's up, sweetie? You want some mo-eurgh cough sy- syrup?" His voice had immediately changed, he actually sounded nice, "I um.. Actually.. Morty said.." I trailed off, trying to keep my balance as a shocking pain wreaked havoc in my stomach, "Oh fuck, oh shit!" I pressed my hands into my stomach, falling to my knees with a painful thud, "Morty said you've gotta- gotta help me. He said- He said something's really wrong!" I strained as Rick turned so fast that he was right next to me as I hit the floor.

My breathing turned heavy as my eyesight went slightly fuzzy and green. Rick grabbed my waist, lifted me up like a baby, and held my face up to give it a good look, "Jesus Christ, what the fuck have you been doing, Y/N?! It was just a cold!" He dragged my almost completely limp body to his desk, pushed all of the stuff to the side and sat me on it, leaning me against the cold wall to which I jolted up and let out a horrific screech, "I don't like that! Too co- cold!" I fell forward, my head landing on his right shoulder, "OKAY! Okay, we won't uh- *burp* Won't do that then!" He lay me down on my side as he ran to get the duvet off of the floor and shut the door to the garage. I cried out in pain, "Rick! What's going on? I can't see! It- It- It's so painful!" I writhed on the desk, kicking my feet out violently.

"You can't see?! Oh my G-*burp*-od!" His voice was choked and high. I could hear Rick's shoes clicking around quickly as he came over, covered me in the blanket, and began searching for things around the garage. I rocked myself side to side, trying to settle myself until I felt Rick's arms wrap around my body, sitting me up and slipping me down onto his work stool. I felt the excruciating pain in my stomach as he set me down and emitted a loud scream, "Oh Jesus! Okay, Y/N! I'm gonna have to examine you, okay? You're gonna have to put up with this for a little longer!" Rick shouted over my raw yelling. I gritted my teeth as hard as I could, "Okay." I growled.

The garage door opened quickly, slamming against the wall, "What is going on in here?!" Beth shrieked. Rick didn't even turn around, "Beth. Honey. Not a good time." He spoke through a clamped jaw, I assume Beth looked at me because I heard her gasp "Oooookay.. Uh... Dinner will be on the table very uh.. Very soon." She left as quickly as she came. I began to lean into Rick's chest, losing consciousness, "No. Y/N. Stay with me. C'mon, sweetheart!" He slapped my face a few times and I felt him turn rigid as a deep aggressive growl erupted from my stomach and I began coughing that same sticky substance up onto his shirt, "Ohh shit." He shined a white light into each of my eyes, causing me to raspily howl, "Okay. Your eyes are all glazed over, red and bloodshot." I felt his fingers on my lips and he pried my mouth open, shining the light inside, "Eugh. Glowing sticky green mucus in the mouth. Mouth is also deep red in colour."

Suddenly a cold glass tube was scooped into my mouth and out again. I gave a guttural groan, "COLD!" Without thinking, my hand grabbed Rick's, tightly, he shouted out in pain, "Y/N. Let go.". I felt an inhumane scream ripple through my body as Rick grabbed me by the throat, "Let me go or I'll kill you." His breath was puffing against my face as he spoke and I felt my hand weaken, despite me not telling it to, "Thank you." He spat. His hands then returned to me, shining his light everywhere, "Your skin is grey. Each orifice is very dark and wet." His voice was calm as he poked and prodded, I, however, was becoming more frustrated, "Rick! I don't wan- wanna put up- up with this any- more!!" I sobbed, trying to tear myself away from him, unsuccessfully, "C'mon, shut up. Almost done."

I heard a lot of beeping and switches being flicked and buttons being pressed for a few minutes as Rick held one hand gently against my neck, just in case I tried to hurt him again. A few seconds later, Rick gave a quiet gasp, and made an almost guilty sounding 'damn it'. I then suddenly felt a very painful intrusion in my left thigh, "RICK!" I screamed, "It's for your own good, Y/N." He stated as I felt a thick string of aches flow through me.

Instantaneously, I started coughing and shaking, "Please let this work." I heard Rick mutter, as his arms wrapped around my body in a warm, tight embrace. My eyes moistened up and my sight slowly came back as I cried loudly, "Shh, c'mon now, it's okay, you're okay.." Rick whispered into my ear continuously until the shaking and coughing stopped and I was reduced to a heavy breathing, weak mess. Everything felt better. Well, my throat still killed and my nose was runny, but, everything else was completely gone.

I swallowed deeply, "Wh- What just happened?" I whispered. Rick didn't let go of me for a few minutes, "Rick?" I croaked, "I injected you with a serum that reduces what I think you had back down into the common cold. Luckily, it worked and I was right." His breathing was slow and heavy. With a sigh of relief and without a word, Rick took my right hand and hooked his arm around my waist. He helped me up and we left the garage.

"Hey Rick, Y/N! Wanna come an- an- an- and eat?" Morty called out from the dinner table that he and his family were sat at, "Uhh, we're good right now, Morty. Y/N needs time to recover from her si*burp*ckness." We continued walking to Rick's room. He carefully set me down on the bed, wrapping me in his duvet, "Wait here." He brought out his portal gun and left for another dimension, "Hmph. Okay then." I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth impatiently as I waited for him. After a few minutes, my phone dinged. It was a text from Rick: 'Hope ur OK, sweetie. Won't be long. R.'

I was leaned against the wall, peering around the most interesting room I would ever be in. After about 10 minutes, a portal opened up and Rick stepped out, with a small little blue person in a sort of delivery uniform, "This the place, Sir?" The person squeaked, "Uhp, Yeah. Ri*burp*ght over there." Rick pointed to the end of the camper-bed and a slightly odd, fleshy looking flat screen TV materialised in front of my eyes, "What the- the fuck? Rick?" I sat up, looking him right in the face, "Hey. Hey. Don't, don't say that around a Reeptipian, Y/N. They're one of the few alien races that actually understand those words." His voice was monotonous as he lifted his portal gun and it beeped twice, "Thank you, Sir." The little blue person hopped back on through the portal, but not before two giant boxes materialised on the floor, full of colourful packets of things that looked edible.

"I'm gonna say it again, what the fuck, Rick?" I tilted my head with raised brows, "Well excuuuuuse me for tryna surprise you and make you feel better!" He put his arms in the air, "What do you mean?" I asked, "Reeptipians have a thing for cinema and TV. They create the best TVs I've ever used, with interdimensional cable, and the best snack fooooods!" Rick opened the boxes and threw a load of stuff onto the bed before bouncing himself down onto it with me. I laughed at his enthusiasm and leaned my head against his chest as he pulled me close and turned on the TV.

"Oh, before I forget." Rick sat up, pulling a decently sized needle out of his coat, before taking off his mucus covered shirt and lab coat, "I- I- Please don't tell me that's for me!" I scrambled back against the wall at the top of the bed, "Nope. For me." Rick jabbed himself in the gut with it, letting out a rumbling growl, his legs kicking out slightly, "I seriously need to figure out how to vaccinate without injections." He pulled it out and threw it to the floor with a sigh. I watched him sit back, unsure of what happened, "Um, what was that?" I relaxed against the wall once again, "Didn't you hear me? It was a vaccination. Against that nasty shit that was all up in your system, sweetheart. Oh uh.. abo*burp*ut that." Rick's eyes were shifting from side to side.

My eyes narrowed, "What. What about it? That was the worst pain I've experienced so far." My voice was highly suspicious sounding as I stared at Rick, "Y'know that healthy alien cereal you had a few days back that uh.. You really liked and then had more of?" His lips pressed into a thin line and his demeanor was nervous, which is rare, "Yes. I do know it. The one you got me that tastes like strawberry. What about it? Spit it out." Rick scratched his head, "Funny thing. It's filled with alien bacteria that are beneficial for the aliens on the planet that I got it from. But.. It uh.. If a human ingests it.. It.. uh.. Tries to use your body as a host and kills and consumes you before moving on." He braced himself for me to kick off but, nothing came, and he opened his eyes, looking at me with trepidation. I blew a gust of air from my mouth that I was holding in, "Smartest man in the universe, huh? You get your girlfriend infected with some weird fucking alien bacteria?" I crossed my arms and then froze. Rick's eyes widened, "My what?" I began stuttering, "You're uh.. You- You're.." As I tried to search for a different word Rick interrupted me, "My girlfriend!" He laughed deeply, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me onto him, pressing his lips to mine.

I pulled away with a cough and Rick held my face in his big hands, tickling my jaw and making me giggle, "I'm sorry for not checking that cereal. It almost killed you." His eyebrows furrowed. I closed my eyes and inhaled his smell, I loved the muskiness mixed with a faint whiskey scent. I leaned into him, kissing his bare chest, "But it didn't. It fucking hurt, but it didn't kill me. Plus, aren't there other versions of me around? Do- do you know any?" Rick stiffened under me, "Well, yeah but.. They- they're not you. They're.. Different. In a bad way. I'd rather you not die no ma*burp*tter what, sweetie." He flipped through some crazy looking channels on the giant TV and settled on one, "I've checked over all of these candies by the way. They're safe. They won't try and eat you after you eat them." Rick gave a hoarse chuckle and wrapped his arms around my waist, his nails gently scratching the skin of my back under my shirt.

"Uh, Rick?" My voice came out very weak, "Hm?" He looked down at me, then back up to the TV, stuffing a few pink pieces of candy into his mouth. I hummed, "You uh- you wanna try some?" Rick lifted some of the candy up to my mouth, "Yeah, uh, sure." I smiled, letting him feed me some, "But uh, I have a question." I spoke with my mouth full, "Shoot." Rick shoveled more candy into his mouth, seemingly loving it, "Is this.. Is this thing we have.. More than a.. thing?" I looked toward the TV, not wanting to meet his intelligent eyes. He took a deep breath and I felt myself lift atop his chest.

Rick cleared his throat, "Uhm." I felt his fingertips tap against my skin whilst I began to internally panic, "Never mind. Shouldn't have asked." I quickly spoke but Rick shook his head, "Nononono! I- I- I didn't mean-! Fuck. I just.. You really- you really want that?" His voice wavered as he searched my face. I looked Rick straight in the eye and bit my lip, "Yes. I.. I want that. Do uhm.. Do you?" I lay my right leg over his thighs. Rick blinked a few times before answering, "I- Yeah. I want it too." I grinned, "Then I guess.. We're dating now?" Rick nodded with a smirk and gave my ass a squeeze, "I guess we are."

Rick filled his mouth with a different type of candy, it looked like glowing red rocks. I grabbed a handful and popped some into my mouth, they tasted very sweet, until they grated their way down my sore throat, I winced as the second piece of candy made my throat hot. I looked at the packet and there were flames all over it, "Ah! They're so hot!" I blew quick puffs of air out of my mouth, "It's okay, it only lasts until they're in your stomach." Rick patted my stomach with a smile. Rick's eyes shot toward the screen and he all of a sudden jolted, raising an arm, "Yes! Ball Fondlers, baby! This is the best TV show eveeer! Trust me, Y/N, you'll love this!"

And indeed I did love it. Well, until I fell into a deep sleep.

[bettsfic]

I don't think you've been in this exact scenario but I'd love your advice anyway -- I'm trying to patiently work through a writing dry spell that after 3 years is only getting worse. The worst thing is my previous body of work (20+ years, 1M+ words) which used to bring me so much joy to reread even in dry spells just seems mostly labored and clunky now, and I can't think why I thought any of it was very good. I still value the work I put into it, and I know I improved over time, but it's even harder to motivate myself out of this slough when it no longer feels like there's anything I want to get "back" to. How does one just... start over?

i think starting over means focusing on the basics again. revisit sentence diagramming, rhetorical and literary devices, books you read when you were young that left a strong impression on you. then, if you're compelled to write fiction, great. if not, write about writing. write about why that specific book left a strong impression on you. write a letter to your past self or your future self. write letters, period. i think letter writing and journaling, self-and-other writing, are two of the most natural and accessible written forms, and when you have no idea how else to get going, that's where you start. and it's sad, and hard, because at one point you were much further along, but writing isn't like riding a bike. it's an endurance sport. and so over time you can lose that strength and skill, and you have to build it up again.

the silver lining, i think, is that this is an opportunity to dig into things you maybe skipped over in your 20+ years of writing. people with high verbal reasoning and a natural aptitude toward writing sometimes skip over hurdles that other people get stuck at, and now is a great time to find those and spend some time there, and either learn some new stuff or revisit things you've forgotten. you can take the slow road this time, you know? you've got your million words down and the next couple million might be harder and take longer and honestly might be worse than the first million. but they will be more intentional, and you might be able to find a new kind of joy in them.

and if none of that works, try writing from a different, maybe stronger, base emotion. if you go out and read something that really pisses you off for whatever reason, that makes you go "I CAN DO THIS BETTER" that's going to ignite some inspiration. conversely, i think admiration is also a good place to write from, work that makes you go, "i want to write this way." try to find a new feeling to write from rather than old subject matter or aesthetics.

[mangoshorthand]

https://www.tumblr.com/mangoshorthand/744233438604853248/httpswwwtumblrcommangoshorthand7439174121294

it was a random hookup with a family friend. we haven’t really spoken since so i don’t have the option of talking through with him. but it’s nice to know that this is just a common bodily thing and not me. so thank you.

Ah, that is difficult and probably contributed to the way you're feeling. There isn't enough of a level of intimate comfort to have built reassurance that it's really not you. Despite this however, I do promise it's not you. He's probably feeling embarrassed too.

And yes, honestly, it is just a physiological quirk. Sometimes there are reasons behind it (e.g. whiskey dick, lifestyle issues etc) but at other times it's just random and it's never to do with not being into their partner. You can pretty much guarantee, if he's trying to stuff it into you, he wants to. 😉

This has got me thinking about how Five would act in this situation if you're interested. So I present to you and the amassed pervs of Tumblr, something I never thought I'd write about:

Five Hargreeves in: The Curious Case of the Disappearing Erection

I can imagine him getting past 30 in the younger body and then noticing the lack of solid iron boners and the return of whiskey dick after he's had a drink.

He's like: "Ah shit, this again?"

He can scent it coming in the air. The return of phantom boner-failure is on the horizon.

Flashbacks to roughly 25 years in which he'd have to stop sex to try and rub some life into his dick, like he's hoping if he rubs it right a kindly genie will pop out and grant him the wish of a dick that cooperates.

It didn't happen often, but it happened enough to be familiar. He probably never realised it was normal, (there weren't exactly other men to talk to unti he was in his 50s).

I think there are few men who don't personify their dicks to some extent, and Five is no different. I can see him having sex with this girl he really wants and loves (you, if you want to imagine it as such), and then, lo and behold, his dick starts to nope out.

'Don't you dare,' he'd mentally warn his waning penis, 'we've been looking forward to this, asshole!'

But alas, his penis would pay no heed.

No matter how valiantly Five tried, no matter that you look so hot he's had trouble keeping his dick in his pants all afternoon, it has, in fact, chosen this moment to give up the ghost.

So he stops and eats pussy. He loves eating pussy so if anything's going to get him back up, it's that, and he may as well give you some pleasure with his mouth given that he's failing elsewhere.

But now he's so in his own head that maintaining even a partial boner is impossible, let alone allowing him to get into the pussy-eating.

By this point you've noticed something's up and you ask him what's wrong.

He tries to shrug it off and make you come, but you're persistent.

Eventually he says: "I got a problem down here."

Once you realise what he means, you try to tease some life into it, but he's self conscious by this point so it's a self-defeating exercise.

Eventually you give up, but you can sense his embarrassment so you're like: "don't worry, we can try again later."

(You're also feeling pretty self conscious and insecure yourself but you don't want to let on and make him feel worse).

You come to hold each other and stsy silent for a few minutes. Five's irrationally angry with himself and you're trying to talk yourself out of feeling like it's your fault.

Eventually, Five apologises. You can barely tell him he has nothing to apologise for before he's launched into a rant:

"All day I've been half hard looking at you, and now my dick gives up? You've been walking around in those tight pants and bending over and driving me crazy only for me to fuck it up now?"

You hug him harder, both because of the unfair self-blame and because he's unconsciously put your fears to rest.

With some more reassurance, he starts to see the humor in the situation, and then he grumbles off to make you both a coffee.

By the time he's back in bed with a cup of his favourite drug, he's talking about how later on he'll fuck you so silly that you'll forget all about this.