#i know we have lighters somewhere to but for some reason only she seems to be able to find them

[theygender]

I told myself that if I opened all the windows and lit incense I'd be okay but now I can't find any matches or lighters and I can't scream my frustrations while digging through every drawer in the house bc the windows are open. One of life's many trials

[afewfantasies]

Lucky Strike 🎯 🎱 - Confirmation - IV

COMPLETE MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Pairing: Benny Cross (Bikeriders) X Reader

Summary: You and Benny reconnect and learn a little about your lives here and now.

Word count: 2K

“You’re doin’ laundry and combing your hair” Kathy comments entering the house to a sight that was new to her. They had shacked up pretty quickly, Kathy and Benny. It had been instant attraction and Benny was bull headed and handsome. Then after one of the meetings she’d made a comment about marriage and Benny had agreed with a shrug. Since then nothing had gone right between them. It was like the prospect of forever was a curse. Kathy only wanted to get closer to him, learn about him and have the same things every other woman wants. But there were things Benny would never talk about, never open up about and never share. The emotional distance became a wedge between them. Kathy needing someone to blame took it out on the club. But in all of their fights she’d never come home to Benny’s clean clothes laid out on the couch folded. Benny turns to her cigarette between his lips as he tucks the comb in his back pocket.

“One less thing for you to complain about” Benny mumbles.

“What are the other girls gonna think and say about me huh Benny? She makes her man do his own laundry?!” She snaps.

Benny sighs.

“Where were you it’s been two days?” She asks with folded arms. 

“Christ,” Benny mutters in his head looking up at the popcorn ceiling. He didn’t know where to start with Kathy, it was starting to become a nightmare. 

“Had a dress dry cleaned for you, there’s someone I want you to meet” he mutters. Kathy’s suspicions dissolve in an instant.

“Benny, babe it looks better than new” she smiles holding it too her. “Where are we going?”

“Johnny’s kid’s getting confirmed. There’s gonna be a dinner party afterword.” Benny mumbles.

“And this person’s gonna be there?” She raises a brow.

“Yep” Benny nods stepping back. He folds his black denim pants hoping it’ll do well enough and gets a black shirt. It was as formal as a bikeriders got. In her head Kathy’s heart flutters hoping for a proposal. Heading upstairs she gets all dolled up. Benny sits waiting on the couch. He wonders how today is going for you. He hopes your father’s family isn’t running you too ragged. Hopes your errands for your mother are going well. Most of all he hopes you’ll come tonight. The gang all seemed to like you and want you around. In his mind he couldn’t help but wish Kathy had your disposition about the club, it would make things a hell of a lot easier. He needed to be around you again, needed to feel safe, at peace and revel in the quiet. Half the reason he joined the club was for the chaos. There was always noise somewhere between the boys, the engines, boots, glass on the bar, the hum of the tv or radio, the hiss of a match being lit. The sound of pool balls being hit.  The sound of cigarettes being popped out of their cartons, the flick and snap of metal lighters. There was no room for thoughts, no room for anything but the present.

“How do I look?” Kathy smiles interrupting his chain smoking.

“Good” Benny forces a smile getting on his feet. Tiptoeing Kathy kisses him.

“Thank you” she says. It’s a rarity.

“You’re welcome” Benny nods leading the way out and to his bike. He starts the engine and she holds on tight.

___

You stand against the wall overwhelmed by the bustle and the informality. You hold the gift for the boy’s confirmation behind you as the place bustles with activity. It’s not your expectation of a church. There are no long robes, candles or stained glass. You forgot how forgotten this part of Chicago was. So much so there was no money to pry out of congregants to make the church beautiful. You see some of the guys being put to work ad women looking you over. You’re about to leave when Johnny catches your eye. He pauses a moment before smiling and passing off what’s in his hands to Cal.

“You came” Johnny smiles.

“I did. For your boy” you smile handing him a present and his eyes light.

“You didn’t have to” he says.

“It’s bad manners to come to a party empty handed” you shrug.

“Have you met us?” Johnny jokes. He’s was like the father figure you wish you had. “Come with me” he says giving you a half hug. “Babe, this is Benny’s old neighbour. The one I told you about. She brought the kid a gift and is standing all alone. Make her feel comfortable” Johnny says.

His wife turns to you with an easy going smile.

“Stylish, you look like you can set a table” she says.

“I can” you nod and she smiles.

“You don’t look like you’re from Benny’s neighbourhood” she says entering the basement with you. Everything has been plopped in a pile on the table.

“I am, moved away as a kid though.” You explain.

“Never known Benny to have women friends, he’s more of a lone wolf” she comments.

“I wasn’t a woman when we met. I was three.” You explain. “We had a tough childhood Benny was there for me more than my parents were and vice versa” you explain. Her eyes go misty before she swallows shaking her head.

“I know what it’s like” she smiles. “You're gorgeous and the girls can be territorial but don’t worry Johnny’s the president and I’m his old lady. You’re okay with me” she smiles touching your shoulder. You work together on the party decor making it cheerful. When you’re finished you head back upstairs with Johnny’s wife who introduces you to her friends and family. 

That’s how Benny finds you bouncing a baby on your knee. He smiles.

“What’s she doing here, Johnny has some nerve bringing his -” Kathy starts.

“Stop it Kathy, that’s who I want you to meet. We grew up together” Benny snaps being short with her. Leaving her behind he goes to you and the little one.

“Hey” he smiles hugging you again.

“Hi Benny” you smile holding the chubby baby on your hip.

“Everyone been treating you well?” Benny asks.

“Johnny made sure I was taken care of, he’s a good man” you tell Benny just as a throat clears. The woman from the precinct emerges looking dissatisfied.

“Kathy, I’m Y/N, Benny and I grew up together” you smile holding out a hand. She looks at it for awhile so you withdraw just as she decides on shaking. It’s awkward and you smile shaking her hand anyway. When you look up at Benny you can see he’s upset from the glare he’s giving Kathy.

“Benny, it’s alright” you assure him patting his side. The baby squirms from the tension and you anticipate tears. “Let me go find the boy’s mom” you force a smile leaving the couple. Kathy isn’t what you pictured for Benny as far as personality was concerned. You give Benny space not wanting to complicate his life at home and stay with the kids until it turns into taking to the guys. The service is short and sweet and everyone mixes. It’s a cast of characters but it feels like family. There’s none of the terror of your childhood or the sterility of your adolescence with debutant balls, straight posture and decorum, decorum, decorum.

You're trying to keep up with the kids’ new dance moves when you feel a hand on your waist.

“Easy there” he smiles drawing your movement to a stop. You turn to face him, every time you lay eyes on him he’s dreamier.

“You combed your hair” you smile. 

“I did” he nods letting his hand slip from your waist to your hand. He walks from out of the basement leading the way. You don’t ask questions heading up onto the roof. His eyes are all over you taking you in.

“I’m sorry about Kathy” Benny apologizes.

“Don’t be sorry” you shake your head.

“It makes me sick to see you mistreated” Benny confesses. It’s a childhood trauma of his reimagined.

“Benny, we’ve survived worse. I’m okay” you assure him.

“You shouldn’t have had to” he sighs and you take his large hand.

“Benny don’t let me be the reason you get so mad. I don’t like to see you like that. We don’t deserve to live like that again” you remind him.

“I mean look at you you're all fancy and you don’t turn your nose up at this, why should she be like that” Benny reasons.

“She probably comes from a good family Benny. Where the parents were together and functional, maybe the mom bossed the dad around and the dad nodded along in quiet compliance like in the pictures.” You shrug.

“Look at me” Benny points at himself and it’s the second time today.

“Practice in the mirror, yes Kathy, no Kathy” you tease making Benny laugh. Sighing he looks up at the stars.

“It won’t work, I’m gonna end things so I don’t end up a version of our parents yelling all the time” Benny mumbles knowing it’s for the best.

“Can’t you work it out?” You ask.

“No. She hates the club” Benny sighs sitting he leans against the sloping roof. You go to sit beside him. “It’s dirty” he warns but you sit beside him anyways. “We should go to the fair and have our pictures taken before you leave” Benny whispers pulling you in.

“Ok” you agree.

“Just the two of us” he specifies.

“I’d like that, hope the bike’s given you practice for handling the rides” you tease and he laughs. He’s laughed more in the past seventy-two hours than in all the years you were gone. “Benny don’t be careless with her, treat her well please.” You say remembering your mothers tears.

“You don’t know her, you should be on my side” Benny Scoffs.

“I am” you smile pinching his cheek. “Little Benjamin never wanted to make girls cry” you tease. Benny laughs before nodding and recalling the promises he made to myself.

“I’ll clean things up and then we’ll go to the fair” He relents.

“Good, pick me up from the hotel. I’m gonna get going.” You say.

“I can drop you,” Benny says.

“it’s alright Johnny’s wife offered. Says it’s better to skip out before the boys get crazy and after the other night I’m with her” you smile standing again. Benny follows you down the stairs and back down from the roof. You both stand outside looking out into the fields. Benny watches you, the furthest he’s been while in your presence before he walked up on you at the funeral. You’re away in deep thought, he can feel you floating, in your head and away from the party, away from him. A few steps clears the distance and he stands beside you.

“There you are, I was looking for you” Johnnys wife smiles exiting the venue. You smile at her and her son.

“Needed some fresh air and quiet” you tell her and she nods.

“Benny, you should head in and speak to Kathy” she smiles at him but in a moment Kathy materializes.

“See you later Benny, bye Kathy” you smile going to leave but Benny follows you. In plain view of Kathy he holds you tight. The trauma of you driving off without a proper goodbye fresh in his bones.

“See you for the fair” he says placing a kiss on the top of your head.

“See you then Benny” you smile letting him go and getting in the back seat.

“Benny, where were you?!” Kathy snaps as the car walks pulls off.

“I was on the roof with Y/N” Benny sighs.

“You think disappearing with a strange woman is okay? What if I did that? An old guy friend of mine comes around and I disappear with him?” She asks as Benny’s eyes follow the car down the long road.

“Kathy I don’t want to argue right now” Benny says his temper wearing thin.

“Benny!” she shouts.

“Kathy, I’m done. I’m leaving I’m clearing all my shit out. It’s over okay?! I won’t be here any longer to make you so got damn miserable. There’s nothing more to talk about” He snaps silencing her. Swallowing Kathy realizes she’s pushed too far again. He hated arguing so much leaving was always the best option in his mind.

“We can work it out later on”

“Ain’t no working it out Kathy. Do you want me to take you home?” Benny asks. “Okay get your things” he sighs after Kathy nods. Cigarettes calm his bad nerves. Kathy arrives looking sheepish. Getting on the back of Benny’s bike she holds on tight again, not wanting to let him go.

NEXT CHAPTER

Authors Note: Thanks so much for reading🩵 🎆 ! Don't forget to comment, like and reblog.

TAGS: @mrsalwayswrite @ughdontbeboring @astrogrande @palomavz @thesaturngurl @peggyao3

[random-fandom-ramble]

Is Redfeather Etharis mother?

I just read the new short story about Rayla in Scumport, where we were introduced to this wonderful new MILF character, Redfeather:

Some things we learned about her:

She’s a moonshadow elf

She has matted messy hair

She has pale markings and likely has a darker complexion (“like shining leather”)

She was ghosted about 15+ years ago

She doesn’t regret the thing(s) she was ghosted for

Now 15+ years ago doesn’t place her at any important events that we know of yet. Rayla would’ve been 0-2 years old at the time, so it probably doesn’t connect to her. The whole ordeal with Sarai getting killed by Avizandum happened about 10-12 years prior, so it couldn’t be connected to that.

But you know who would’ve been in a very interesting age back then?

Ethari and Runaan

Ethari and Runaan were once referred to as “uncle-ish” age, which the show runners have clarified means somewhere between 30-35 years old. That means Ethari and Runaan would’ve been 15-20 years old at the time when Redfeather got ghosted by her village. And as we all know, 15-20 is the perfect age for fictional characters to get traumatized✨

One theory I had was that she was somehow involved with the assassins (target? Former assassin? Who knows) and that her crime, which somehow affected a younger Runaan, got her ghosted. But that is a theory for another time.

What caught my attention first was the specifics of her description.

Pale markings and “leather colored”(darker) skin

When it comes to the colors of markings, moonshadow elves tend to have very deep or even dark blue/purple markings. Ethari is the only moonshadow elf we’ve encountered till now who has significantly lighter, or paler, lavender colored markings amongst moonshadow elves.

This means that Redfeather having specifically PALE markings would be significant, if the paleness is referring to the color.

Another point is the eyes

While Redfeathers and Etharis face’s aren’t THAT similar, the eyes very much ARE

Look at that shape! Look at the lashes! Look at the curved lower lids! If this doesn’t mean anything, then this would be one heck of a coincidence for eyes to be drawn THAT similarly.

Another reason I like this theory isn’t just because of looks and appearances, but also because it could explain a bit about Etharis behavior regarding ghosting family members and strong feelings about abandonment.

See, when Rayla first comes back to the Silvergrove, one of the first things he says to is:

“They’re gone Rayla. He’s gone. Because you abandoned them.”

And later on, when he briefly lifted the ghosting spell to talk to Rayla, he says again:

“But I don’t understand, how could you abandon them like that?”

On a similar note, in the novel the bloodmoon huntress, when Runaan realizes that Kim’Dael is out there, there isn’t even a question about wether or not Ethari is coming along; he said right away “I’m coming with you”. He was NOT gonna stay- or be left behind. It’s like he has some very deep rooted issues surrounding abandonment, and being left behind. Maybe because his mother had to leave him when he was young? Or maybe pertaining to the crime she committed, where she left someone behind and surrendered them to their doom? Who knows…

And yet, for someone who has such strong feelings about someone being left behind, he was very quick to ghost Rayla. Yes he regrets it, and yes it was a decision made with feelings and grief and not his sound and sensible mind. But regardless of how much he regrets it now, he still ghosted her for “abandoning her team (and Runaan)”, and he seemed very sure of that choice at first.

If we looked at him as a regular person, a godfather who loved and cherished his goddaughter, and had raised her since the age of 8, this behavior doesn’t make any sense!

But if we look at him as someone who’s had to do it before, someone who had to learn long ago that family ties don’t excuse crimes, and that sometimes you need to cut out and ghost those closest to you - like say, your own mother-, well then it makes sense why he was able to do that to his goddaughter, even if he regretted it later…

——

And a final point close this whole theory off, though it is more of a meta textual point:

Ethari rarely gets talked about by the creators of the show. He was maybe mentioned here and there in the past, and on Twitter Aaron Ehazs promised that they hadn’t forgotten about Ruthari. So any mention of him that actually includes his name and something other than „he’s Runaans husband/Raylas substitute dad“ is pretty special and rare to find outside of the graphic novel Bloodmoon huntress . But in this new short story, he wasn’t just mentioned by name; he was specifically described along with his profession, his crafting.

And the first time that Ethari gets mentioned again outside of the bloodmoon huntress is when a new Moonshadow elf with eyes almost identical to his gets introduced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✨Thanks for reading!✨

Feel free to add your own thoughts to this theory in the comments or in reblogs!

@beautifulterriblequeen @sunstone-nerding @hoothalcyon @legend-of-the-fandoms @anybody-else-who-wants-to-join-the-fun

[genericpuff]

I reread episode 24 of LO after having dropped off between seasons 1 and 2 and it genuinely brought me to tears. I feel like there’s no way the theory about Rachel not intending this to be a depiction of SA can be true. The way it’s written feels so powerful and intentional, and I honestly think that makes her dropping the plotline that much worse.

I mean, maybe I’m projecting because of how similar the scenario was to my own experiences, but I just don’t feel convinced that she didn’t fully intend to write this as SA.

The shots of Persephone trying to physically push him away, of her standing shell shocked in the shower, after the fact, her internal dialogue about wanting it to stop but feeling like she can’t take back the “okay” she gave. It’s gut wrenching. And Apollo commenting on her hair and saying she should leave it long is such a brilliant piece of writing that hits like a punch in the gut for us readers who know why it grows.

And honestly, I think that chapter being so well written is what hurts the most. Because it feels like myself and other survivors were lured in by the prospect of seeing our stories told, and getting catharsis through Persephone even if we would never have it. The conversation she has later with Eros, where he states plainly that what happened was rape, not dancing around the word, validating what Persephone and so many real readers have gone through… It’s so, so painful to read that back and know that this plotline was dropped. That we were led to believe we would be seen only to be completely swept under the rug with no resolution to that story.

And I know people criticize that it’s immediately followed by a phone call with Hades, but honestly? After rereading that too? I loved most of the phone call. They had real chemistry, and you could still feel the weight of what just happened in how Persephone carried herself, but as they talked and she had something to distract herself, the burden got a bit lighter, at least for the moment. It felt resonant. Emotionally intelligent.

It’s like you said. Lore Olympus wouldn’t be so easy to hate if it hadn’t been so easy to love. I think it could have been good despite its flaws and problematic elements, because no media is 100% pure— but somewhere along the way, Rachel stopped caring. And THAT is what ruined it.

No but this is so valid, everything you just described was pretty much why I loved the SA plotline in the first place.

I think the scene itself is beautifully written, but it's odd how it becomes more about Persephone simply wanting an "easy way out" of TGOEM, not just in the 'decision' to have sex (i.e. she was coerced and assaulted) but later when she tries to get out of TGOEM, like... is it because she wants to actually date guys, or is it because she doesn't feel like she "deserves" to be in TGOEM anymore due to the assault? The story tries in some places to explore this but never commits to it fully so it's really hard to know what point it's trying to make at times when you actually peel back the layers.

Really the biggest reasons I 'suspect' Rachel of not intending to write a genuine SA plot from the very beginning is because of how... 'back of mind' it is. It only seems to be brought up whenever Rachel can be bothered to remember, but then it's completely juxtaposed against scenes where it should affect her (or reasonably would) and it doesn't. Case in point, a few episodes after she tells Eros what happened and he confirms it was rape, he tries to convince her to go into Hades' office dressed in a trenchcoat and nothing else underneath and it's like bro... this girl just told you what she went through, why are you suggesting she try to seduce her boss who she doesn't even really know yet LOL

As a result , it really does just make it feel like the SA scene is just there to make Apollo an easy villain, and Hades an easy hero, with the only definitions being "well, Hades didn't assault her, so he's definitely the better choice!" (as if Apollo was ever a 'choice' to begin with, Persephone didn't like him from day 1 so there was basically no chance of there being a love triangle setup except for the audience members who quickly latched onto that "I guess he's cute if you squint a little" line). And with the way episodes are chopped up, separating points of the narrative from each other, it feels like whenever stuff does happen (esp surrounding the SA plot) it's because Rachel's finally bought herself enough time to come up with something, like the therapy episode, Eros confirming it was assault, Persephone stealing the lyre with the intent of hiding it from Apollo (only to then willingly show it to him alone in her bedroom with him a handful of episodes later), etc.

If she did intend to write an SA scene from the beginning, it doesn't feel like she thought the plotline through fully to make it actually feel genuine (and this goes for a lot of the subplots in LO, they always seem to start off as these base "get your attention" ideas but with no actual follow through). And with Apollo now being written as this "huehue you fell right into my trap!" villain (and very poorly I might add) it just feels like the SA is now taking a backseat to, "Actually, Apollo is the bad guy because he wants to overthrow his dad or some shit. Forget the SA happened, I don't wanna write about it anymore."

All those points aside, I agree with you fully, if Rachel cared about what she was trying to write back when the SA was first shown, then that level of care definitely doesn't seem to be there anymore and it's such a shame to see. It just feels like it's being used for artificial drama and nothing more and that's so frustrating and disappointing for many of the SA victims who are critical of this story (including myself) to see when that plotline originally felt like comforting visibility.

[houseofpendragons]

New Ideas for HOTD Alicent Fashion pt.3

So for this one, we’re going to be combining Rhaenyra in this again. The reason for this is bc I’m coving the nightgowns we saw/should have seen. The reason I say some of them are ones we “should have seen” is bc why was everyone still dressed that night on driftmark???? It was late af, why were Rhaenys and Corlys the only ones dressed for bed🤨

But to start, Alicent.

This:

We love this, we need this.

Idk what this is:

What happened, she was dressed so elegantly even if it was just for bed. Now she look like a spinster with a house full of cats.

I just don’t like the way the second dress is designed. The fabric is fine. I don’t like the buttons, I don’t like the sleeves, and I don’t like the bland embroidery around the neckline and the wrists and the waist.

The first dress is flowey, yet form fitting. I like the ties in the front, and the over dress that goes over the dress. It’s the same material and looks the same but the way it is positioned is very flattering and creates a more fanciful appearance.

So to firstly redo the nightgown we see in the picture above we need to take some things into consideration. Alicent has had a confusing interaction with Rhaenyra the night before, almost a ghost of their friendship in girlhood radiating around them, and she even says she will be a good Queen (previously having told Aegon that he is not her son). So, we don’t really know what’s going on in Alicent mind right now. Seriously, I mean this girl gave me whiplash sometimes. That being said, she’s still at the height of her Hightower propaganda kick.

Looking at nightgowns in other historical/period dramas, I’ve noticed that it tends to be the simple additions that you don’t even realize (a pop of color, the material of the dress, the way it hugs the body, a simple embroidered design place somewhere) that really give the dress a more fantasy appeal to them.

So considering her mindset and actions, as well as those design factors:

This actually isn’t too different from the original dress if you really look at it, only the high neckline is an overdress of sheer fabric, still allowing the (perhaps) less appropriate, yet more beautiful nightgown beneath. The overdress helps keep in tact that sense of modesty Alicent seems to be reflecting in her clothing after the time skip, whilst maintaining the more fanciful nightgowns of royalty we see her embracing in her youth. And it is a lighter shade of green as opposed to her usual darker greens, signifying her uncertainties or her wavering ideals.

It is true she also misinterpreted Viserys statement before she went to bed as well, thinking he wished for Aegon to succeed him. However, she is very against Rhaenyra being hurt in any way from the get go. Confliction, family vs. Old friendships

The one thing I would change is that the embroidery around the neckline, the wrists, and the waist would be a gold and red. Not quite Targaryen colors, but the small bit of red fabric on her nightgown could be like the small thought of Rhaenyra being queen tugging at the back of her mind.

Now for the redesign dress. Why is she still in her funeral attire🙄:

She should have been asleep, or at least pretending to be, so I at least think she’d dress the part.

Now I’m not gonna repeat myself with the yada yada yada about the dress should be bc royalty and style bc we been over that.

That being said, we combining again:

We’re keeping the long jacket from the first pick, and the dress in question from the second.

The darker green tone reflects the mood, and having been woken up I’d think she’d grab a coat as driftmark seems cold. The floral patterns add a beautiful design that takes away any simplicity, and I also imagine her liking to take strolls through the garden w/ Helaena so yeah. Just imagine this trailing behind her.

As for the dress, I love the white sleeves tucked into the belt, imagine this falling from her shoulder in her tousle with Rhaenyra, the fabric having ripped or simple fallen instead of the golden ornament across her chest in the original dress. It looks hella a lot more comfortable to sleep in that’s for sure. The simple shade of a slightly darker green making the designs subtle and elegant are just mwah. Just imagining her storming into the room half asleep with her messy hair is so pretty in my mind. No jewelry, no shoes, just messy curls, a nightgown, and an overcoat.

Now for Rhae:

This sucks😭 like it isn’t bad but idk I just don’t like the sleeves or the way the hair looks with the dress. I love the simple braid for bed, it’s literally just the sleeves and the way it hugs her that I don’t like. Okay maybe the shade it is as well. The bottom part looks fine from what I can tell, but the top is what bothers me.

Maybe something a little more like this:

The lighter red for her youth. She’s still been hanging around daemon, although he’s now been sent away at this point, he’s still heavily been influencing her since he’s been there and Daemon is big on Targaryen propaganda (though not Alicent level with faith of the seven stuff).

It’s again one of those where it actually isn’t too far off from the original dress. The color has changed, it’s more fitted, a little design was added, and the sleeves aren’t ruffled anymore. I didn’t care for those at all. And with this I feel I’d like the braid better, though perhaps have it resting over one should instead. It still holds a girlishness about it but has a little extra with the lace and the small design added to the top.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Are I and two more people the assholes for cutting a friend with post-partum depression off our lives? Warning, this one's LONG.

For starters, there's five people involved on this. There's me (22NB), my best friend (23M) whom we will call A, a friend (24F) called V for this, yet another friend called C (23M) and finally, the ex-friend (23F) who A, V and me cut off our lives. She will be called T. A, V, T and I were all friends since 2018, and C, who appeared in 2022, was friends with everyone minus T, since she never got along with him. T and V were specially close. I hope this doesn't ends up too confusing, and keep in mind english is my second language.

T got pregnant from her ex (he was already her ex when she got pregnant, as they kept having sex) somewhere in 2021, she doesn't knows when because she noticed when she was on her 3 month already (missing her period was to be expected since she had a surgery on her ovaries). To make it short, her ex wanted her to abort but she didn't wanted to, and even if she wanted, she couldn't, because she surpassed the amount of weeks where she could have a legal abortion on a safe environment. This led to several fights between the two and their families and eventually he completely disappeared from her life. She was devastated, but she wanted the baby and was excited to be a mother despite everything, so we were all happy for her and we were on her side. Things were relatively fine during the pregnancy, at least it seemed so.

I was the first person who was friends with C, around February I think. I introduced him to A, V and T on my birthday (September), and that night only C, A, V and I went to a nightclub (it wasn't planned), as T was near her due date. Turns out, while we were on the nightclub, she gave birth. We (minus C) were overjoyed, because we waited SO long and finally the baby was here. However, this is when the problems started (although we later learned T used V to vent about the abandonment of her ex during the whole pregnancy, and never listened to V when she wanted to vent on her own or even tell her about her day).

Besides for some reason T started to do EXTREMELY classist comments (such as refusing to eat chocotorta, a cake made of chocolate cookies and dulce de leche, because it was "the dessert of the poor", or saying we were acting/dressing "like poor people" sometimes. Sincerely, she is middle class as much, yet pretended she was at least upper-middle class with her attitudes) and showing a very fatphobic attitude towards herself and other people, she started to be straight up cruel towards V because she was jealous of her "carefree life" (V has to deal with an abusive mother on her home and trauma from an abusive ex, btw), and there were three events that strained the relationship even more.

1- When she threw a tantrum on the group chat because A, V, and me went to a concert with C and started to say she had COVID (we saw each other the day before) and we probably spread it everywhere, and that we were all abandoning her and never cared about her and her baby actually while sobbing on a voice message, despite we tried to calm her down and assure her we loved her and her son she kept doing a scene until A told her to stop.

2- On A's birthday, she was acting like an annoying rich girl despite saying she didn't had money to buy A a present. Literally investigated C's phone (Samsung A20) without asking him and then just said "My mom has an A51". She also kept constantly misgendering C (he's trans), which is even more infuriating because A is also trans and she genders him correctly. She has no excuse, we presented him as a guy, and we used he/him while she used she/her

3- When we went to a 80's themed party and during the previous stage before going she was physically aggressive with V (literally threw objects at her including A RECENTLY LIT LIGHTER WHO WAS STILL HOT), and during the party acted as if A was her boyfriend (he's gay), alongside wanting to basically pit me and A against V the whole night.

There's also the fact that she seemed uninterested and even a bit cruel towards her son, such as giving him really hot milk (he was bottle-feed) and not caring about his reactions, or even "accidentally" DROPPING HIM OFF THE BED HE WAS IN. One day we decided we had enough, and I wrote a really long message on our group chat expressing our feelings.

The thing where we may be the assholes is that she replied some days later, also a rather long message, and we ignored her for a month without even opening the chat. We only read it when she left the chat, in which she explained she was diagnosed with post-partum depression and that she fell again on her eating disorder due to gaining weight during the pregnancy, alongside having financial problems on her family, being full of debts. She was sorry, and wanted to "fix things". But it's kind of too late now to speak to her. So, were we the assholes? She WAS an asshole but maybe we should have forgive her due to her circumstances. Thanks to whoever read this long post.

What are these acronyms?

[softquietsteadylove]

It’s time to read more about tomb raider! Let them meet again after the almost drowning incident and let there be teamwork fighting against a group of treasure hunters! :D

"Will you stop?!"

Thena - surprisingly - stopped squirming behind his back against her own binds. Her chair stopped rattling against the floor as she stilled. She huffed. "I'm sorry, were you trying to get some sleep?"

He joined her in her frustration. "I just mean conserve your energy. We don't even know how long we've been down here, let alone how much longer we have ahead."

She went quiet, and he was quite sure he was more uncomfortable with it than she was. Thena spoke two languages: yelling, and sass. He was unfamiliar with any quieter sides of hers.

"I'm sorry."

The simple words gave him chills. He whipped his head around but all it did was hurt his neck, and he couldn't even get a glimpse of her anyway. "What?"

"They followed us all the way out here and I had no idea."

"I didn't either," he interjected.

"I was the one who came up with the plans. The next time they come down here, I'll tell them I can guide them, but only if they release you." Now she was really talking crazy.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he grumbled, now starting the game of fruitlessly tugging at his binds again. "You think I'm going anywhere without you?"

"We may not be afforded another option," she bit back, also turning her head. He could feel her ponytail against the back of his neck. "If at least one of us makes it out, there's a chance of escape."

"There's no way you believe that if you cooperate they won't hurt you," he snorted.

"I didn't say I believed that."

He jerked his shoulders, attempting to get a look at her again. The backs of their chairs clanged together, although they were still technically bolted to the floor. What little movement they did get on them was from the general state of the ship's disrepair. "Don't be stupid, Thena."

She didn't even have a scathing retort about him assuming such a thing about her Ladyship.

"Once they come back, we'll reason our way through this." Sure, he didn't totally believe what he was saying either. But it was a better solution than Thena giving herself up as a bargaining chip for his life. "All they want is the bounty, right? Your plans were solid, and I doubt any of them can dive for as long as you can. We'll-"

"Gil."

She was right, there were few options they had which might lead to their escape. They knew the risks, running in the circles they did. There was always a risk.

"You have connections on the mainland," she continued to talk him through things like she was coaching him. "Tell them that they can collect your bounty if they return with you."

Rather then killing them both and leaving them somewhere.

"And what about you?" he just barely dared to ask.

She took a damn long time to answer, twisting his gut all the way around itself. "Karun and Druig always know the risks of our field. They have instructions should I fail to return one day."

Gil scoffed loudly, rolled his eyes, shook his head--all of it. Anything to convey to her just how ridiculous this was. "I am not going to just leave you here, let alone with those-"

"Gil-"

"They slapped you, Thena," he reiterated, since that didn't seem to matter to her as much as it did to him. "They backhanded you across the face. I'm not exactly counting on them to uphold a gentlemanly agreement."

He leaned forward, pulling at the legs of the chair, still bolted to the floor by a couple of rattling brackets.

"It wasn't how I saw our collaborative efforts ending," she tried putting on a lighter tone, as if that would distract him from the gravity of all this. "But I must admit, we make a good team, Gilgamesh."

He huffed, leaning as forward as he could, "don't 'Gilgamesh' me."

"Could we not spend what might be our last time together arguing?"

He paused in his efforts, partly to catch his breath, and partly to twist his neck again. "I thought you loved arguing."

"I love anything at which I can win."

Well, there was the Thena he knew and tolerated.

Her tone changed again, and he felt her hands move from being tightly balled up fists. Her fingers fluttered around, as if searching for his. "But arguing with you was always a byproduct of the job. Your company from the same side is far preferable."

If he didn't know better, he could think she was admitting to some fondness for him. But he did know better, and beyond that, this was not going to be the pre-burial-at-sea confession she thought it was.

"Who said you could talk?!"

The door slammed against the back wall. All the hinges in this place were falling apart. The men filtered into the room, fully armed and just as dark in expression as when they had found them.

Thena glared at them of course. "You didn't gag us. I don't see how you expected us to remain silent."

"Silence might do you some good." The same one who had struck her before raised his hand again, just barely in Gil's periphery.

He jerked in his chair, "don't touch her!"

They all laughed at his noble effort to protect her. The hand changed from an open palm to grasp her chin instead. She jerked back like a caged animal, but he grabbed harder. "Is she your pretty little treasure?"

Thena practically growled at them even with her cheeks smushed.

"That's all you want, right--the artifact we got sent here to find?" he clarified, doing everything but snapping his neck right off his shoulders to try and see what they were doing. "I'll take you, but only if she's unharmed."

"Relax, big guy," another one instructed, even slapping the grabby one's hand away from Thena's face. "The bounty from the artifact is only half of it. There's also the matter of you two."

Thena must have made a face, because they glared at her again. "We have no insurance policies on us, if that's what you're after."

"Not at all, girlie," he chuckled at her. "The museum will pay his ransom, surely. And as for you...you're sitting on an old family estate, aren't you? That will do nicely."

Gil was desperately trying to think of something but if anything, Thena relaxed. He kept his mouth shut though; they hadn't mentioned Druig or Karun, which meant they didn't know about them. They hadn't done reconnaissance on them or anything, they just happened to be their lucky catch of the day.

"You're right, you will guide us to the artifact." The men began gravitating towards the door again, one with his hand already on it. "And when we have it in our possession, then you'll make the ransom call for us."

The grabby one rattled the handle in his grasp. "We might have to rough her up some, just to make it believable."

Gil launched forward. The chair came clean off the floor as he cried out in his rage. He hunched forward, swinging the legs around as a line of defense. He turned, charging at their captors.

His shoulder jabbed into the most dominant one, crushing him against the handle of the door and doing some good damage to his back. He slumped down. He turned as fast as he could, using the legs of the chair to do some damage to the other two.

The grabby one grunted as he got hit in the gut. Gil positioned himself better, throwing himself back and ramming the legs into his shoulders. He screamed at the top of his lungs but Gil did little more than grimace. "Relax, it's not like I stabbed you."

He tried to get a sound out, but the wind had been knocked out of him. Gil looked down at him, holding out at a hand as if to plead for something. Unfortunately for him, that was the hand he'd used to slap Thena, and Gil wasn't feeling particularly forgiving.

Thena winced as he rammed the chair leg into his open mouth. "I never took you for the sadistic type."

But he didn't have a witty retort for her. He knelt down, feeling around the mess of bodies for a knife. "I'm tired of him yapping."

Thena sighed as stood again. "I suppose it's a better option for us. We still don't know how many of them are out there."

"Let's not be tied up when we find out," he groused. He walked back around her. "Got it?"

She did have it, grasping the knife firmly, passed from his hands to hers behind their backs. "You seem confident I won't slice anything essential"

"Like you say, we may not have a better option," he conceded. He strained the ropes tired around him, pulling as Thena attempted to pressure the blade against them. It wasn't a great angle, or a serrated blade. But he continued to pull as she worked, eventually pulling them apart before she could slice through the middle.

The knife clattered to the floor between them.

"Okay," he sighed as he finally pulled his arms around to his front again. They hurt, and usually it would be more ideal to move them slowly. But he swung them around, desperately needing their full range of motion sooner than later. "I've got you."

He worked at Thena's ropes more gently. They were tied tight, but he could see the red irritation in her pale skin more. "Do you know how far out we were when they found us?"

Her ropes snapped apart, and he immediately grasped her shoulders, rolling them forward for her slowly and gently.

"Well, someone was hogging the radar," he commented, and was rewarded with her turning in the seat, skipping over examining her wrists in favor of glaring at him. He grinned, "but I know the jetski you used to get to the boat is still being towed. If we can get to a railing, we can definitely swim under the ship and get to it in time to get outta here."

It wasn't his most risk-free plan, but they both knew the risks--had just gone over them, in fact.

Thena nodded, rubbing her wrists but wearing the usually determined expression he had come to expect. "Lead the way, then."

He planned on it, and not out of some need to protect her or anything. It just made good sense.

They hugged the walls all the way up. He really didn't know how many of them were on board, but he dreaded to think about the possibilities considering the expected crew for any boat this size. He looked over his shoulder and nodded his head.

Thena showed her understanding; they weren't far now.

He held out his hand. She gave him a look but he shook it at her. He wasn't going to let them get separated again. Begrudgingly, she slipped her hand into his. It was cold.

Gil looked both ways before dashing across the deck and to the railing. No life boats, of fucking course. He climbed over the railing while Thena crouched between the top and middle bar. He looked at her. "Ready?"

She didn't reply, but she let her hand give his a squeeze.

"Don't let go." He didn't know why he said it. There was no need, but he held her hand, getting ready to free dive into the water and potentially be chased down like wild animals.

"I won't." That was much more assuring than anything she could have said about them making it. She looked ahead, resuming her usual role of being the one to pull him along.

And despite their rivalry, he would follow her anywhere.

[nothingxs]

FFXIV Write // Third-rate

Celica leaned on the counter and turned the sign aside, peering at the goggled man for a few moments. She smirked at him. "Right. You said you had something for me?"

The man on the other side of the crowd pumped his fist forward, clenching it tight. "You bet the flames in your godsdamned hair I do. You kept coming around and saying you couldn't find something that'd scare the shite out of your enemies, lass. Well, lass, I've found just the thing!" He scurried over and started to go through some crates, pushing them aside to go to the weapon rack.

Even Celica could see it from here. On that very weapon rack: some sort of… heavy object, almost as long as she was tall, wrapped thoroughly in leather and then again in cloth. The man picked it up with both his arms, having to squat first to really get under it—as heavy as can be, it seemed. Celica almost seemed ready to hop the desk to help before he waved her off with a quick shake of his head. "I got it, I got it. Let me just…"

A few steps a bit of a laugh later, and the package was unceremoniously dropped with a heavy clunking thud on the counter, balanced on its midpoint or so. He beamed a huge, stupid grin at her from under his goggles and brushed his bangs to the side, swallowed some of his exhaustion down, and nodded. "Here she is! Feast your eyes on this!"

He untied a buckle that kept the cloth bundled up, and revealed what could only be reasonably described as a massive, sword-shaped, indelicate slab of heavy, wrought metal. A full metal piece, with a haft of metal, heavy metal guard—the entire thing looked as if it had been cast from the same single piece. One could wonder just how exactly the thing was meant to be used, by anyone.

"You're shittin' me." Celica folded her arms under her chest and sighed.

"No, no no no!" The man shook his head and pat the slab several times. "Listen to me, lass. Every time you've commissioned something from us, yeah? It's been increasingly bigger. Wider, heavier, more imposing, whatever you want to call it, we've given you a piece every time. And we love trying out your new ideas. But then… someone brought this to sell back to us. Now the forgemaster, see," he waved over in Brithael's direction, who was standing where he usually was, poring over something or other, "he just wanted to melt it down. Said the craftsmanship was shoddy, the balance was absurd. That it's JUST an imitation! It's just meant to look good hanging from somewhere."

Celica nodded. "Yes, well, he's probably right."

"But lass. Lass! Look at it. The design of it, the heft of it. So much of it clearly just needs work. I'll tell you what: we'll work on this, reforge it, make it lighter, make it sharper. We'll work on the balance. And I had an idea that I'd much like to keep a surprise, which I think will make it worth your while." His huge, stupid grin got even bigger, and he clapped his gloved hands together and rubbed them. "But it will need you to be present tomorrow for much of the forging. One of our smiths is dead set on trying this out. If it works, you could have one of the finest things we've had the pleasure of working on here in the smith." He patted the weapon one more time and stuck his hand out to shake on it.

Celica looked at the sword, looked at the outstretched hand, and then back to the man, shaking her head. "Randwulf."

"Yes, lass?" Grin still up, hand still outstretched.

"You're tryin' t' sell me a third-rate copy of some… I don't know who would wield a sword like this. And it's with th' promise that you'll make somethin' out of it that you're insistent I'll love."

"Yes!"

"And you just expect me t' go along with it."

"Of course!"

Celica looked down at the sword, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. She shook her head, reached her right hand out for Randwulf's outstretched hand, took it and shook it firmly. "You shrewd shite. Damned, if th' thing doesn't look imposin'. I'm goin' t' be eatin' bread and scraps for weeks."

Randwulf smiled a proud smile, and then nodded enthusiastically. "Lass, when you get the finished product, they'll taste like bloody victory."

[star-girl69]

I Loved You Like the Sun

a/n: i love helaena i will not apologize for this new friendship

warnings: incest, angst, mentions of violence, not-graphic injury, tell me if i missed anything!!

Daemon Targaryen x Rhaenyra Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Chapter Twenty Seven- Return Me

—-

When you met Rhaenyra, she was already the heir.

She was unforgettable, a wild woman, unbothered by the knowledge that her blood was wanted upon men’s knives.

She knew what she wanted and set out to get it, protected what was hers like a direwolf, missed her mother so fiercely she told you she thought it might tear her apart.

In the early days, she didn’t want it. She wanted her mother and brother, her father, her best friend.

You asked her: who would ever want to be Queen?

She told you: I am a dragon, not a sheep, and I will be remembered as that. I must be Queen, for that is the only way to ensure it. I will not be condemned for what lies between my legs.

You told her you loved her, and she called you her sweet girl and pulled the sheets over your heads.

—-

When you wake, your head throbs, and you can just barely move your fingers and toes.

You hear the sound of someone startling- close, they must be at your bedside- and when your eyes finally open the world is blurry.

“Y/N?” A voice asks, soft like silver, spun spiderwebs, and you can just barely make out pale skin and white-blonde hair.

“Nyra, Nyra, Nyra,” you moan, hands reaching blindly, and the woman takes your hands in her own.

She whispers, softly, as if you are glass, “I am not my sister.” But your head aches, and she smooths your hair back as you fall asleep again.

—-

“My brother hit you hard,” the woman says as you comes too, and she nurses a pulsating bump on your head with a wet cloth. “I’m sorry.”

This time, when your eyes open, you see Helaena clearly. She is standing over you, not looking at your face, instead focusing on your wound.

You realize suddenly your Rhaenyra is not there, and she never was. And you are not in Dragonstone. You lie miles away from them, in the den of vipers known as the Red Keep.

“They will come for me,” you whisper, voice hoarse.

“Drink,” she responds, lifting a cup to your lips that you frantically sip. “You should not be here. The dragons will not lose their horde,” she mutters, almost scoldingly. But for some odd reason you can tell she is not scolding you. Her eyes meet yours for the first time. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.

You remember the pity you once felt for her, the anguish she must feel as having Aegon as her brother-husband.

“You did not take me,” you sigh, finally, after a moments silence. She lowers herself, resting on a chair beside you.

“No. No, I did not.” She looks away, towards a window.

The sun is rising. It does not shine for you. Nothing will ever shine for you, not until you are returned to them.

“I know what it is like to be somewhere you do not belong. That is a tragedy no one should suffer.”

“I pity you as well, Queen Helaena.” She scrunches her nose, and although your words were sarcastic, she seems to take them seriously.

“Oh, I am more content with my children, my bugs.” Her eyes make their way back to you, a few shades lighter than Daemons. “Why do you pity me?”

“I know what it is like to be married.” You choke out, and she does not waver.

“You and I, Lady Y/N, are much similar than we would like to admit.”

“Perhaps,” you agree, although you already know you would like to have her for company. If you are to be stuck here, taken, begging for return, a distraction would be nice. Besides, you do have more in commons that you would care to admit.

“My mother wishes to speak to you. I can say you are still indisposed if you wish me to.” Rumors have been spun about this wisp of a girl, that she is not all there, that she is as dumb as a stick, but you realize now she is none of those things.

She knows she is your only hope in this place. Your mind can barely keep up with this newness- friends and enemies, places, people- but you do know that she is your hope, your beacon. Even if only for silent company.

Your loss at Storm’s End has left you changed. You feel yourself ashamed and solemn. The apathetic queen Rhaenyra has become now rests on you.

But here she is, this Queen, this girl, this something cousin of yours. Offering an olive branch. You eye her, and she only stares back, letting you pick and prod.

“Thank you, my Queen. I would like that.”

A smile ghosts her face as she stands, light blue silk swaying behind her.

She opens the door, glances at you over her shoulder after a moment of hesitation.

“Who would ever want to be Queen?” She asks, solemn in her station, powerless in her title.

“You are right, Helaena. We are quite alike.”

She smiles, wide, although it does not meet her eyes.

“My mother will call upon you tomorrow. Rest well, my lady. You shall need it.”

And she leaves you with that, with the emptiness of yourself, the loss of your family so keen in your stomach.

Talking with Helaena was a nice distraction- but now, you miss Daemon and Rhaenyra with an itch in your heart. You feel as if you will be torn in two. You feel like you did when you were trapped in the Riverlands.

You sob into your hands, and no dragons are there to comfort you.

—-

Alicent came to you early the next morning, almost too early for it to be considered proper. You wondered if she had been waiting for this, nervous, going over and over what she was going to say in her head.

You had fallen asleep to the sound put your own cries, arms wrapped around yourself in a semblance of them. But it was not them, so the action was useless.

She knocked on the door, and you called out, the fight inside you already broken. Was it so wrong to just want to be with your family?

“Sweetling,” she murmured, and you could tell immediately she was nervous.

She flinched when she looked upon you, your eyes red and swollen and your face blotchy with tears. You hoped she felt horrible for what she had done to you.

“Queen Alicent.” You did not trust yourself to speak more, afraid you would scream and cry and beg to be returned to them. Foolishly, some part of you still wanted to be seen as strong.

She takes a deep breath before she speaks. “I do not need to tell you who your paramours are. I do not need to tell you what dragon you ride. I do not need to tell you why you are here.”

You hum, fingers digging into your palms. You wished Daemon and Rhaenyra were there to unfurl your fingers, kiss the shallow wounds.

“But I will assure you that you will be treated kindly. You can stay in here, and you will be fed and cared for.” You only want to be cared for by them. “Or you can spend your days with Helaena. She’s offered you a place by her side, and the King has agreed.”

You don’t answer, staring off into the just rising sun. It almost hurts to look upon anyone who is not them.

Silence fills the room, until Alicent steps forward and you whip your head over to her.

“You are being offered a kindness most can only dream of.”

You nod, staring at her feet, hearing her sigh heavily.

“I’ll have food brought in. Helaena will visit as well, later today. I hope you find the room comfortable.” And with that, she clasps her hands in front of her and turns on her heel, leaving you.

The room is simple, a guest room for an esteemed guest in the Red Keep. You are sure you are the only one occupying this entire wing of the castle, that the doors are locked behind Alicent and Helaena.

But now, you cannot find it in yourself to do anything other than miss them. You are a bird in a cage, and you cannot care, because you are not with them and the world is backwards.

You stifle a sob into your hand, salt stinging your sensitive skin.

You whisper their names into your hand, a prayer, a reminder, a plea. Over and over again, until their names fade into one and you are just sobbing.

You think back to Rhaenyra wanting to make you Queen. You think back to her words, to Helaena’s.

This is Queendom. It is the sound of a lonely violin, stringed melodies like sobbing. It is longing, remembrance, putting yourself aside for the sake of others. It is apathetic eyes and the absence of a warm heart. It is the feeling of being without them.

Who would ever want to be Queen?

—-

taglist:

@wondergal2001 @akiraquote @a-lil-bit-nuts @anginoguera @thatkinkylesgirl1 @stitchattacks @honeypillowsblog @kaloafd @blackhoodlea @softtina @wallace02sblog @tetgod @hotd-fanfic @rxscpctals @iramagnus

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Young Royals Season 2 play-by-play analysis

Okay, so maybe it’s not so much an analysis as it is a written compilation of the thoughts that I had and the things that I yelled at the screen when I watched this time around… But somewhere in there are some deep thoughts and analysis of the show…

Also, since this is a number of rewatches later, most of these thoughts happen after knowing all the events of later episodes, so it’s a constant flashback/flashforward in time, I apologize if it gets confusing…

Let’s go!

EPISODE 1

I will never get over that opening, the way they are so soft with each other even in Wille’s dreams. It’s Wille trying to remember and hold on to every detail, how Simon smelled, how his skin felt, his hair, how it felt to be touched by him… and then the golden glow is gone and it’s cold and he’s alone and lonely.

Does anyone know what the picture above Wille’s bed is? I’m intrigued.

I do think that room where all of Erik’s things are might just be a room that has been turned into a sort of shrine to him? The door is too small, and it seems to be out of the way. Also there are two portraits of Erik in it. I don’t know, do people normally have portraits of themselves hanging in their own bedroom? Pictures, sure, like the ones in his mirror. It feels like whatever was Erik’s was moved to this room, which was just a small bedroom, and it became the place where his things inhabit now. Unless it was his room and then it was turned into a shrine. Either way, then much like Wille, Erik didn’t seem to have many possessions.

Still not over how Wille doesn’t look at his mother and gently closes the door without saying a word, and she just backs off. She knows she won’t get anything out of pushing back. But she talks to him through the door. He didn’t lock it or anything, she just doesn’t try to open it again.

Wille’s memories are very tied to two senses: scent and touch. He breathes in Erik’s jacket, hoping to commit his smell to memory, just like he breathes in Simon. And he hugs himself whilst wearing it, like maybe trying to feel like his brother is hugging him…? Oh why is my face wet…? (And then later in the season we see Simon doing the exact same thing, using Wille’s sweater to smell and conjure memories, putting it on to feel closer to him…? They are freaking soulmates, your honor).

I love the Frog Prince/Frog King-themed everything.

I get the feeling that, since we see the cigarette case more than once, and it holds such meaning to Wille, that we might see it again and it might play a more crucial part. The fact that Wille uses his brother’s lighter to set the picture of August on fire…

Do we see August being obsessive about his workout routine and body after he starts his relationship with Sara? I don’t think so. In fact, he stands pretty naked and confident in a later episode. But when we see him again for the first time, he’s filling his holiday time with working out. He either spent the entire holiday in Hillerska, or he just arrived much earlier than everyone else. The sight of him sitting by himself in the dining hall, eating kale, whilst all the chairs are flipped onto the table, is representative of his state of mind. His whole sense of self is tied to Hillerska, the way he sees himself is so tied to the way others see him. It changes once he’s with Sara (at least for a while).

It bothers me so much that Marcus not only walks into Simon’s room uninvited and stands there listening to him knowing full well that Simon doesn’t know that he’s being watched/heard (and then interrupts him and spooks him when he’s obviously in his little world), but he also starts talking and doesn’t even introduce himself immediately, like he just assumes Simon knows who he is. He thinks he’s soooo smooth…

I think the only reason Simon was smiling is because he liked the attention. Like he decided it was a positive thing at that moment. I think in general one of the reasons he pursued anything with Marcus was as a distraction and because he needed the attention at that moment, he needed to feel appreciated/wanted/desired by someone, anyone other than Wille. And nothing more.

I love Felice’s confidence when talking to her mum. She’s done with doing things just because her mother wants her to. And she’s embracing her natural hair…? And being a supportive bestie to both Sara and Wille? In this house we stan Felice Ehrenchrona.

EDIT: An anon pointed out that Felice is getting tracks sewn, so we don’t really get to see her natural hair. (Meanwhile the hair and makeup designers said about S2 Felice’s hair, which is basically that Felice was getting extensions to make her natural hair look longer and fuller). I think anon is probably right this time. The point is that, regardless of whether that’s her natural hair or not, Felice is rich, she’s probably getting some very expensive real hair tracks, and going for a curly style to try something new and also rebel against her mother. No more straightening her hair, nothing but curves and volume.

I would like to understand the boarding system in this school. Did Sara get assigned a single room, and she just switched with Madison, so she could room with Felice and Madison could be on her own? Do all the rooms have their own bathroom? I thought Felice’s and Maddie’s room was special because it had its own shower. Why would Maddie ever give that up???

Love that the song playing as everyone gets ready for the party, as the girls go out to their initiation, and Wille drives to Hillerska, is a song about women pleasuring women. LOVE. IT.

Also, the girls’ initiation only seems to include the first years from Manor House (or maybe even just a group of it, unless the Manor House first years only has, like, seven girls, eight now that Sara has joined). When Wille was hazed, the whole of Forest Ridge was there… (I get it, he’s the prince, but still, I thought there was more house involvement).

Something something about Sara being given a tiara whilst wearing an apron with tits on it, then Fredrika taking the tiara away.

August makes a face like he’s swallowing something, one of his pills perhaps, and taps the glass in a peculiar way, like he has a slight spasm or a tic.

August has such FOMO whilst listening to the stupid story that Vincent and Nils tell about Seychelles.

Why does Marcus look like a professor? And why does he sound so creepy? “You could at least sit in the front, I’m not a taxi”. Simon seems so nervous/awkward around him.

Wille plotting to disrupt the third-years’ party even before hearing that Sara was in there. He immediately figured that Simon might be there, because they seem to be inseparable.

I love Wille’s posse. They are so full of bravado when they’re with him. They’s just dumb little first years, but they’re with the Crown Prince. Walter’s face when August folds is just pure idolatry for Wille. They are all so misguided little privileged sheep boys.

The way that August becomes so cynical whenever he doesn’t have the upper hand, when he’s not in a position of power anymore. “It’s just a party, okay?!” “It’s just a stupid fake competition”. Yeah right, sir…

The way that Wille seems to stop breathing when he sees Simon and Simon sees him… The way that Simon swallows hard because he’s caught unawares. He’s caught so off-guard that his face betrays all his feelings. His eyes drift all over Wille’s face, he has to force himself to look away, get a grip. Meanwhile, Wille’s so happy that he was right, that he knew that Simon would be there, but he has to conceal his giddiness. He’s so proud of having helped Simon, so happy that Simon is talking to him…

“Sara passed her initiation. Another lovely tradition.” Simon hates these traditions so much, and he never fails to point it out.

That whole first encounter, man… Simon’s little chuckle when they say ‘hi’ at the same time, then he repeats it. Someone recently wrote a whole piece on how Simon’s reaction to Wille’s haircut might indicate something about how his memories are tied to the way that Wille used to look, and now this whole new look changes everything.

August’s face when the couple sit next to him to make out. He’s still shaken from having had to fold to Wille. Like he’s fading into the background.

Wille’s disgust at seeing Nils peeing at the wall and talking to him while doing it.

“But he doesn’t seem too interested in boarding school boys.”

“You need to pick someone from your own league, one of us.” Nils, your “off-handed” suggestion fools no one, you so totally want to bang the Crown Prince.

And then the touching of his face when he hasn’t even washed his hands after peeing. Gross. I know he’s drunk, but still.

I bet there’s a significance to the fact that Lilja states that the third years will be graduating exactly 120 years after the founding of the school… if August has been reported to the police by Sara, there’s a slight chance that all his plans will be going down the drain, that he won’t be graduating at all. That very seemingly illustrious privilege might not apply to him in the end. Another one of his precious traditions that he breaks.

“If you hadn’t refused to talk to the Queen, you would have been well-informed.” Bullshit. As if they couldn’t text him the information.

“He’s toxic.” “He told you that he wouldn’t make that statement, and what happened? He left you all alone.” Neither Simon nor Rosh or Ayub at this point understand that Wille succumbed to massive pressure from his family, that he’s also a victim. But of course they want to be supportive of Simon, as any good friend would be of a friend who’s getting over a breakup, badmouthing the ex, encouraging him to get a rebound, etc. And Simon is so glad that his friends are supporting him (which makes me sad, because on the other side, Wille had no such support, he doesn’t have friends like Rosh and Ayub, he has Felice now, sure, but she’s only been his friend for a very short time, and most of that time it was only over text, other than that he has a crappy family and his brother is dead). And Simon’s sort of up for it, following his friends’ advice to rebound with Marcus, not because he actually likes Marcus, but because he’s so desperate to get over Wille. But as much as Rosh and Ayub seem to know Simon, I don’t think they know that that’s really not Simon’s style, or know how much Simon is in love with Wille, how much he’s fighting against those feelings. I don’t think they get how endgame they are until Wille shows up at Simon’s house with that “I could be free with you” ramble. “Did he just say he’d give up the crown for you?” Yes, now you get it.

The whole talk about how Alexander’s back… so much evidence for how the system is all about privilege, keeping secrets, throwing money at problems. “They didn’t want to start an open investigation”, “he gave a generous donation”, “they have problems with the number of applicants because of the sex video”, “Just chill out, Alexander doesn’t know who snitched on him, or that Wille is the one who threw him under the bus to save Simon.” Secrets, secrets… Fake smiles, fake friendliness…

I love boss bitch Felice and her queer bestie Wille, complimenting each other’s hairs. Also, gossip girlies Henry and Walter in the background already trying to figure out what this thing between Wille and Felice is…

“My mum’s right that if I tell Simon, he will go to the police, and he doesn’t understand that if he does, everyone will protect August, the school and the royal family, to protect themselves.”

When the girls are getting coffee, and they start gossiping about Wille and Felice, Stella seems into it, but then when Fredrika starts asking Sara questions about the nature of Wille and Simon’s relationship, speculating if maybe Wille is bi, Stella seems uncomfortable, and seems to try to cut off/distract Fredrika… She only seems to be into it once again when they switch the topic to Erik and a one-night-stand. She didn’t seem to like Fredrika speculating about Wille’s sexuality…

“There are people who could open doors for you in the future.” Clear exposure of something that will not happen in the future, Simon’s hard work and talent will be overshadowed by privilege and secrecy culture. The choir teacher says “I’d like to try something new to show that the school has actually changed in 120 years”, she’s a progressive teacher, but the school, the system will stifle her. Nothing has changed in 120 years, new things are unwelcome. Non-white, working class, second generation immigrant and gay??? You will be crushed. So since Simon doesn’t get to sing his new song because tradition won’t allow it, then Wille must be the one to break with tradition. (But look at him in that gif, he’s such a cutie).

“I’m so hungry, we have to wait for the third-years.” “Didn’t you make the rules?” Isn’t this just another one of your precious traditions? What are you complaining about? This whole conversation felt a little exposure-like, but whatever. Wille sees the perfect opportunity to wreck another one of the precious traditions of the school, of the whole system, and embarrass August.

I think it’s interesting that the first one to raise his hand is Alexander. “You stand up to people who are different.” Where did Alexander get that? From the same whoever told Alexander that it had been August who had framed him. Whoever hinted that August was the meanie apparently also hinted that Wille had tried to help Alexander…? Who could that be…?

(Here’s the updated list of people who know that August filmed and leaked the sex video: Wille, Simon, Felice, Sara, Rosh, Ayub, the Queen and the Royal Court, and now Alexander.)

Here’s the thing, however bad Wille feels about actually having thrown Alexander under the bus, and I’m not trying to justify what he did, at least Wille didn’t do it because he had a personal vendetta against Alexander. He obviously did it to protect Simon, knowing that not only did he not want to lose Simon, but also Simon would fare much worse if he was accused of dealing, whereas Alexander already landed on his feet immediately, no investigation, no record, nothing, because money and privilege. Simon would never be able to recover from something like this. Meanwhile August DID have a personal vendetta against Simon, because Simon knew that August had financial problems, because Simon roughed August up to try to get him to pay for what he owed him, and because he thought that Wille wouldn’t be able to defend Simon against accusations without revealing his (then) still secret connection to Simon.

(This just made me think, going back to my post on secrecy vs. privacy, that Simon revealed August’s secret to Wille about his financial situation, prompting all the drama that came from it. He was just defending himself, trying to get Wille to understand that he’s not a dealer, and that he’s not taking the hit for this. He didn’t do it to screw over August, he did it to give Wille context. “Your cousin owes me money, that’s why I gave him the pills to sell so he could pay me back, I’m not a dealer.” I’m not justifying what he did either, but he was definitely a person who made bad decisions to get himself out of a bad situation, and he didn’t deserve everything that came out of that. Whereas August’s actions are a lot more premeditated and vengeful, from using the drugs against Simon to posting the video to get revenge on both Wille and Simon.)

(Also, another reason why Simon gave August the pills was for his own use, because August approached Sara about her ADHD medication, hoping to get some from her. And Simon, not wanting August to manipulate Sara or something to get her prescription medication, offered to get him some himself to protect her.)

“The Royal Court wont’ take this lightly. They’re probably sitting around, probably planning how they’re gonna punish me…” August, for all his claims that he could murder someone and get away with it, doesn’t seem to know how the Royal Court works, how much they want to avoid scandal. It’s August’s guilt aboutt the fucked up thing that he did that’s eating him up, and at this point he has yet to even talk to his stepfather and find out about the actual legal repercussions of what he did.

I like that Sara knows how to help someone having an anxiety attack. But then she goes and gets all hot and bothered about August when he’s having an attack…?

Simon approaching Wille… and then walking away and texting Ayub so fast… boy is so in love and desperate to get over it because he’s still hurt.

(Also, fixating on that scene in the gif above, when they both go for the Garfield pencil case at the same time… Simon’s hand lingers a bit longer than he probably meant to, until Wille tries to be all cute with his pinky finger, then he pulls his hand back quickly. It’s like he short-circuited for a moment there, yanked back to the horror movie night, when they first touched like that… when sparks flew…)

Also, something that hit me later. Part of Wille’s love language is touch, because he’s touch starved. So being close and touchy with Simon is how he would usually be. But when Simon rejects Wille’s touch, when he stiffens and looks uncomfortable, Wille internalizes that and it’s painful but he respectfully keeps his distance, but it kills him slowly. To be in such close proximity but not allowed to touch him. And later seeing Simon with Marcus, seeing Marcus hug him, touch him, kiss him… it’s torture. He’s learning to keep his distance, he’s learning to let go, even if it kills him. (So it’s so obviously such a test of his will when Simon is the one who gets so painfully close, outside of the Valentine’s ball. Simon stands literal centimeters from him, and Wille has to resist the urge to respond, react. He just stands there, feeling like he might implode, but steadfast and resolute, for Simon. Because he’s grown, because he’s matured, because he really cares about Simon. It’s not only about what he wants anymore, it’s about what Simon wants too. So until Simon wants to touch him, until Simon wants him to touch him back, then it’s not okay. But it’s obvious that he’s there already, he’s ready whenever Simon is. So when Simon gives in, he rapidly caves. Consent is fucking sexy, my friends.)

I love Ayub, he’s such a good friend. He’s less impulsive and imposing than Rosh, and he seems to really understand Simon a lot of the time, be supportive. “We can leave if you want.” Everyone deserves an Ayub.

Also, Simon saying “I’m really nervous” is because he’s executing a plan, the plan is to forget Wille, get over him completely. And if he fails, then he’s disappointing everyone, including himself, he’s betraying himself in a way. “You have to put yourself first” Rosh tells him, but at that moment Simon processes this advice as putting his feelings for Wille behind, and if he can’t do it, he’s… pathetic? An idiot…? And just like Nils tells Wille that he needs to be with someone of his own class, Simon is being told that he needs to be with one of his own too, so if he can’t do it, he’s a fake, a class-traitor.

Marcus is so fucking pushy, and he seems to think himself so charming. I hate that Simon has to pretend to be nice and smiley as he’s saying “please no”, I feel so upset for him. Especially after he rejected Wille’s touch, he’s now letting himself be touched by Marcus, and be dragged on stage and be forced to sing with him, and he’s going with it because he thinks this is what needs to happen for him to move on, for him to get over Wille. His brain is working overtime to convince him that this is okay, that this is how it goes, it’s charming, he’s fun.

“Move it.” “Can’t you just sit somewhere else?” My hero Henry, being defiant. Yes, Vincent, why can’t you sit somewhere else? Vincent is the perfect example of another power-hungry asshole.

I love that when Wille watches Ayub’s Instagram story and he’s boiling with jealousy, he immediately locks eyes with August as if saying “this is all your fault” and I love the look of low-key panic in August’s face when he locks eyes with Wille, who looks like he’s about to murder someone, but August has no idea what’s going on. But he knows he should be scared. Run, bitch.

“Wilhelm, I’m so glad you called,” Kristina sounds so sweet for a moment, either for appearances in front of the Royal Court, or is she really taken by surprise by him calling her? Do you really expect that your son is going to call you out of the blue like nothing happened? Do you think he’s forgiven you for what you did?

Everyone saying that it’s so funny that the first exchange is “Simon is on a date with someone else!” “Um…okay?” But it’s so relatable. That’s how I talk on the phone when I’m stressed or anxious or angry… Big statement first, context later.

Kristina in her head: I’m gonna be a good mum, I’ll listen to my son rant about this boy… but the moment Wilhelm says he doesn’t want to be “the fucking Crown Prince” she switches gears. She says “stop”. They translate it as “Oh for goodness’ sake”, but it sounds like “sluta”. Stop. Stop whatever this is. You’re being hysterical.

Wille climbing on the desk is one of the most iconic moments in this season. Trust me, if I were taller, I’d probably be climbing all kinds of furniture when I’m having an anxiety attack, because that’s what my body is asking me to do. Get to higher ground. It’s the fight or flight response.

”I’m sick and tired of you making decisions behind my back all the time!” Yes, we all are, babyboy. You tell them. You are not a fucking puppet.

Very long, as always, sorry for that… episode 2 coming soon.

(Let’s face it, this is just me wasting time instead of updating my current fic because I feel blocked… whatever…)

[distortionswife]

Dream lore continued, as there was a new dream last night continuing it.

( Very spoilery info, not directly spoiling the podcast, but gives away some info surrounding the web, the stranger and the spiral, )

First of all, I was having tea with Annabelle Cane, I don't remember why exactly, but I was.

She was aware of the circuses preparations for the Unknowing and asked if I had any part in it. I only told her I had given that ancient bit of skin in the very beginning, to which Annabelle sighed and told me that wasn't really smart.

I said I was aware of it, but I thought I'd be killed if I didn't so, I had no choice.

Annabelle was thinking of what to do and had put down options on paper;

Get a good spot for the end of the world

Try talking to Elias or Jon about it, but I wouldn't like how it would end.

Burn the skin so Nikola can't complete the outfit and miss an essential part of her ritual.

She told me it was smart to choose one of the last two, figuring I wouldn't exactly want a world where the stranger succeeded. But in no way could I tell them I got the information from her. I agreed to it and decided the third would be best.

Annabelle showed me how to exactly 'burn' said skin, or any skin for that matter. She gave me a vial with a fluid to make it easier.

I nodded and planned to do it when she'd be away from the circus, which could be soon if there's a distraction or reason to do so.

Then that day came, I waited patiently for her to be far enough to not see or hear it. I got to the skin, poured the contents of the vial onto it and grabbed the lighter from my pocket, watching it slowly go up in flames.

Suddenly I heard an unholy scream from somewhere within this circus.

Helen was apparently watching with a big grin and laughed maniacally, telling me "Oh you better run. She's fast when she's pissed."

I ( stupidly ) ran through the door she had made, blindly trusting someone who's inevitably going to stab me in the back. And I ran for a long time through those hallways, those corridors with the many doors.

Until Helen stopped me, opened a door and shoved me through it, simply saying "Good luck~ She knows where you are!"

And then the door simply closed and I was in the forest, I thought about where to go.

( This is where the first dream ends, in the waking world I thought I'd be going to Hill Top road, for some reason. So, with that info; into last night's dream we go! )

And so, I was indeed running to Hill Top Road, and in my opinion, it was pretty smart.

It took a while because I had been dropped off somewhere in a big ass forest and there was a subtle path with more spiderwebs in trees than normal leading me to hill top road, but I had to find that first. And that was kind of difficult because there seemed to be more than one power at play. I was imagining that the spiral or the vast was having it's fun there too. The forest was a little too long.

Either way, eventually I heard THUMPING behind me, like an animal dashing it's way towards you with big steps. You can guess who this was. Just imagine that one monstrous form, that one definitely meant to absolutely terrify you. That but with the ringleader clothing, it was actually quite horrific to see, besides the voice being a little more distorted due what I assumed to be the rage.

Then I suddenly saw the path, I took it and seemed to somehow be faster. I reached Hill Top Road and there Annabelle stood in the doorway, looking at me confused, she asked why I had willingly come to this place. I simply answered I was escaping something she probably knew was chasing me.

Annabelle did know and asked what I expected out of coming here, since she has no reason to necessarily protect me.

I simply told her it was also her idea so she's responsible and Nikola wouldn't kill her because it'd be stupid to kill the mother of puppet's favorite.

Annabelle laughed at that and let me in, while Nikola was IN SIGHT. Although, she said she'd try her best but I shouldn't expect anything. She also admitted she enjoyed watching the chase, Especially when Helen added to the entire mess.

I was told Helen told Nikola where I was going like a betrayal of some kind. She liked it. She adores Helen's trickery at times.

The door would soon be slammed open, Annabelle had left it open a bit. She somehow fit in the entire house and Annabelle even tried to compliment the more spider esc monster form, but Nikola was NOT having it. Simply screaming to get me out of hiding.

Annabelle told her "There's no need to scream, I'm sure you can see them behind that cabinet from that height."

So I stepped out and hid behind Annabelle, being glared at and mocked. It was technically the first time I was scared of her, more on that later

Either way, Annabelle simply stepped aside and told me to deal with the issue I caused, to which I said "you told me to do it, so you're at fault too."

To which Nikola just snapped her head to Annabelle and asked if it was true. I don't know how I did it but I tried to basically give a pleading look, because either she could throw me under the bus and probably see me torn apart or she could save my ass.

queue the "well, technically it was my idea."

And the way too long pause.

"But they didn't exactly do it consciously, I was the one making them do it. Just wanted to see what would happen… So you can't be mad at them for it, they didn't know."

Nikola simply just scoffed and left, and once she was gone I just let out a breath I'd been holding in.

And now I owed Annabelle a favor.

Helen made her appearance as well, clapping with an uncanny big grin, telling me it was quite the show.

I just glared at her and turned my back to her, wanting to know what the favor was, and well Annabelle simply told me;

You'll know when the time's right.

˚ ₊ 𓆩 ༺ 🕷 ༻ 𓆪 ₊ ˚

[pitty-me]

Local nail salon vs non local review:

Non Local experience: I once had my nails done at a birthday party when I was eleven. It was fine and I had gotten crackle nail polish which had black on top and red in the cracks. It was very neat. But I didn’t love having my nails done. I usually just cut them or painted them myself.

But now in my twenties I have found myself looking for new experiences and just being able to do something fun or nice for no reason in particular. So in June for my birthday (10th) 2023 me and one of my best friends, practically my sister, set out to try and be “girly”.

Now I’m a typically nervous person. So I tried to book a time at a salon in a neighboring state, as we were right on the border, online but they never saw it. I even CALLED to confirm before we went but no one picked up or called back.

After driving more out of the way than I had expected we had arrived. We walked in to the owner giving a male customer a pedicure. There was only them and presumably the owners pre teen child. I said “Hi I tried to make an appointment online for today at four pm but I don’t know if it went through. I tried to call to confirm also but no one picked up. Do you have availability?” The owner and man looked at us as if we interrupted something important and she said “Ah..No.”. We said “Okay thanks.” and left. We felt awkward, the atmosphere was awkward, the whole ordeal was AWKWARD.

We then tried to drive to a second place, still oddly far, that claimed to take walkins. When we pulled into the parking lot there was a woman by the driveway in, smoking a cigarette. We parked and walked towards the second salon hoping for a better experience. Then the woman we saw RAN at us asking what we were doing. Feeling more awkward I explained we were walkins only to have her tell us no!

Now I could see in just a little and I thought they were just super busy. BUT IT WAS NEARLY EMPTY! With two employees and like one customer a woman ran at us to stop us from entering. We were done trying to do nails and hungry. Defeated, we left for an early dinner. We would try again a different month.

Local experience: It’s been months now. We were determined to try again somewhere closer. So I called to make an appointment which went well but I was clearly confused and new to this.

BUT SUCCESS! We had an appointment for four pm for a full set of acrylic nails! It was now December ninth 2023 and we were at last getting our nails done! We drove there, walked in and it was still awkward and confusing but they sent us to separate stations and we were on our way to being girly.

We did think being separated was weird but at least we were actually being seen. They definitely do not care about appointments, which is good and bad. It's practically walkins only but at least that works for us! I chose longer nails with pastel purple cat eye nail polish and my friend said shorter with a lighter pink.

Now since it was our first time and we knew nothing they gave her SHORT nails. Like barely there nails. But I didn't see that till later.

We both sat in silence having no idea how to talk to these people. My technician seemed content with that and it was only a little awkward. I listened to some other customers' random chatter and watched him work on my nails. I do have sensory integration so some things that wouldn't bother most people bother me, like filing my nails. That was the part I hated the most but I pushed through it!

Now I did realize most if not everyone paid in cash. Of which I had NONE on me. Que my silent panic that I wouldn’t be able to pay and everyone would be mad at me. Towards the end I did find they accept cards, but cash is preferred. I paid for us both and we left having a pretty good experience.

We did go back for fill ins January eleventh 2024 and had just as good an experience. My friend had her nails done just the way she wanted, we got to sit next to each other, and had a little more chit chat with our techs.

Although something my tech put on my nails burned when she drilled off the old acrylic, which also burned, and it burned a little again when she was finishing off the fresh acrylic. But I pushed through and got this turquoise color cat eye again.

Overall it was all a good experience and we will for sure go back again in like a month. Finding the right nail salon is like dating. You just have to go and see the different choices and who will actually let you in!

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

[blurred-lines19]

"One bite and five days are all it took for the world to come to an end. Nearly two months after an unexplainable, violent illness swept throughout the globe like a raging wildfire, after cities have crumbled to ruin and most of humanity has been wiped out, only a few survive. Some of those still alive are just trying to survive, while others are searching for an answer—a reason why and what caused people to turn into walking, cannibalistic corpses that decay but never seem to truly die. Now, a group of survivors—a dog, few adult figures, and a bunch of teenagers—search for a cure and must figure out how to live with the undead amongst them, and how to deal with each other as relationships strain and tensions rise."

†· Word Count: 4026 †· Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types †· Rating: Mature †· Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death †· Relationships: Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Jason Grace/Piper McLean, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Silena Beauregard/Charles Beckendorf, Thalia Grace/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano †· Characters: Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson, Leo Valdez, Nico di Angelo, Frederick Chase, Frank Zhang, Luke Castellan, Hazel Levesque, Jason Grace, Piper McLean, Grover Underwood, Juniper (Percy Jackson), Katie Gardner, Travis Stoll, Connor Stoll, Chiron (Percy Jackson), Will Solace, Silena Beauregard, Charles Beckendorf, Clarisse La Rue, Thalia Grace, Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano †· Additional Tags: Angst · Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence · Inspired by The Walking Dead · Title from a My Chemical Romance Song · Found Family · Bittersweet · Based on a My Chemical Romance Song · I'm so sorry · Everyone Needs A Hug · Hurt/Comfort · Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse · Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson-centric · Betrayal †· **First Person POVs** †· Rated Mature for strong language, violence, sexual references, etc..

Nico

“No, no, no. Damn it— This can’t be happening,” Jason mutters, running his hands through his blond crew cut.

“Dude, it’s going to be okay. We’ll find her,” Leo says, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Thalia can’t have gotten very far—not in the rain.”

As if on cue, thunder rolls somewhere in the sky above; it’s lighter than it was but is still coming down pretty hard.

“Odds are she didn’t leave that long ago,” I say. “Thalia wouldn’t be that stupid to leave in the middle of the night without being able to see her surroundings.”

“Yeah. If we hurry, we can probably catch up to her,” Travis offers hopefully.

Jason pinches the bridge of his nose like he’s trying not to blow up. “Look, I know you’re all trying to think optimistically, but none of this is okay. First, Annabeth. Now my sister’s run off to rescue her because I didn’t have the fucking guts to.”

My eyes widen at the sudden use of strong language, which is completely unlike Jason (not to mention his unraveling and growing lack of rationality), and I half expect Leo to impulsively crack a joke about it. But Leo stays silent, still standing beside him, Piper on Jason’s other side, her fingers laced through his.

We all know that none of this is okay; it isn’t new news to anyone. Dwelling on it all the time will get you killed sooner or later, though. It’ll stun you to where you can’t move, only to watch in horror as the thing that killed your friend starts lumbering toward you, tearing you apart in front of your eyes while you’re completely helpless.

And I’m never letting that happen again, I remind myself.

“At least we still have the map,” Luke says, rummaging through his pack. “Annabeth marked the best routes and stuff, so it should be relatively easy to find out which way Thalia went—” His face falls. He groans, standing up abruptly and shoving his bag away in frustration. “Of course she did…․ Guys, the map’s gone.”

The room falls silent. Thalia may be impulsive, sure, but she isn’t a moron. She’s smart enough to remember she needs a map to find her way through the city (and that if she took the only one we have, it would make it hard for us to navigate the streets and alleyways). If she could be considered anything right now, it would be selfish.

Pandemonium erupts in the room. Everyone is asking what to do, disagreeing with the answer they’re given. I glance over at Jason, who is turning red in the face, yet his expression is ominously calm, his gaze ice-cold—not dark, but I swear I smell ozone in the air. Clarisse approaches him, shouting something. Immediately, I realize that she is crossing a line that should never have even been considered. I’ve never really seen Jason mad before now. All I know is that it can’t be good.

“Maybe if you could have kept a better handle on your sister, we wouldn’t be doing this right now,” Clarisse bashes, pointing a finger in Jason’s face. “I say we let her go and get herself killed!”

Leo and I grab Jason just in the nick of time. He lunges at Clarisse, his fist nearly hitting Clarisse in the jaw if it weren’t for Leo quickly restraining his arm. There’s no way Leo or I could keep him from beating her up by ourselves—we hardly can with the two of us—but we manage surprisingly to hold him back.

“What did you say?” Jason shouts angrily, the veins in his neck popping out. “What did you just say, you bitch!”

Clarisse, having to further antagonize him, answers with her opinion. “You heard me. She made her choice. If she wants to risk her life, let her go—I have people that I care about, Jason. I'm not gonna risk their lives because your crazy, punk sister went AWOL,” Clarisse states, though she takes a step back, her voice faltering slightly under Jason’s gaze.

“Why don’t you just shut up!” Jason calls after her, but she’s already walking off.

My hand slips off Jason’s arm for a second, and I have to quickly regain my grip. “Jason, she isn’t worth it,” I say evenly, trying not to let my own irritation get the better of me. My cousin’s already losing it. Nobody else needs to.

He strains against my arm, but my grip only tightens. “But—”

“Look, Clarisse is going to think what she’s gonna think,” I say. “All she does is run her mouth, and it’s getting to me too, believe me. But you can’t lose your head. Not while Thalia is still out there.”

Jason wriggles out of me and Leo’s hold on him yet doesn’t pursue her, instead pacing and running his hands through his hair.

I hadn’t noticed him walk over, but Luke appears beside me, stepping toward Jason while simultaneously keeping his distance. Luke says something to Jason that I can’t quite make out, and a conversation starts. Initially heated on Jason’s part, Luke manages to calm him down to some degree. Jason’s jaw is still clenched, but his demeanor changes. Instead of angry and disconcerting, it’s shifted to weariness and irritation.

“Does anyone remember what the map looked like?” Luke calls after calming Jason, quieting everyone, for a moment.

Everybody mumbles to themselves, revealing that, no, no one can remember. None of us got a super good look at the map, but I would be sure that someone could recall.

“Does anyone remember anything about the map?” Luke asks, annoyance bleeding into his voice.

Leo enthusiastically raises both his hands (though, it may just be so that he can be seen). “Oh, I do! I helped Annabeth figure out all the paths and stuff.” He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “I can’t remember all of it, but I can remember most of it.”

Luke nods. “That’s good enough for me.”

Everyone is still arguing. After Clarisse’s near-miss with Jason’s fist, however, everyone started to keep their distance. The only one who dares approach him is Piper, which he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Children,” Chiron announces from the center of the warehouse. “I understand we're all worried about the situation at hand—as you should be. However, I need you all to calm down, please.” Slowly, the chaos and discord die down, and we all turn to Chiron and Luke. We’re all still anxious; nevertheless, we stay quiet.

“Thank you. Now, I know everyone is confused and in disagreement, but we need to see if we can find her,” he says. “Thalia cannot have gotten far. So, unlike what we couldn’t do for Annabeth, we are going to search for her.” Chiron gestures to Luke.

“All right, listen up! This isn’t going to be easy, so the plan is to split up into two groups of four. We don’t have the map, but we redrew it the best we could.” He holds up a roughly drawn yet impressive map of the city—I suspect Leo’s handiwork—paths highlighted in pink and yellow. “Chiron will stay here in case she doubles back, Group One will follow this route,” Luke points to the yellow highlighter, “and Group Two will go this way.

“I’ll be picking the groups so that there’s no arguing. Got it?” He points toward Silena. “Beckendorf, Silena, Clarisse, and Piper: You guys will be Group One.”

Piper doesn’t bother to hide her eye roll as she strides over to her group.

“Jason, Leo, and Nico are with me— You too, Stolls.”

Jason folds his arms, avoiding Luke’s gaze.

So that was what they were talking about, I determine.

Luke doesn’t want Jason to go by himself. 

No, doesn’t trust him. I’m almost surprised. And yet, at the same time, I’m not. Jason usually keeps a level head, except now he isn’t. Stuff has happened with Thalia before (not to this extreme, obviously), but this whole thing has really pissed him off (Clarisse’s comments definitely aren’t helping); it’s worrying. 

Thalia is all Jason has left—their parents were never anything to boast about. Thalia is the one that protected him from their parent’s absence—kept him clothed and fed—so she’s really the only thing he knows. Odds are, he feels like it’s his turn to protect and take care of her after everything she did for him. Shit, it has to be eating him up inside.

“Wait. I thought you said we were going in groups of four,” Silena remarks.

I like Silena, and she’s sweet, but she had to point it out, didn’t she? In all fairness, she doesn’t know about what had transpired.

Luke grimaces. “Well, I was going to stay back, but Chiron insisted that I go.”

Travis and Connor grin at each other. “Nice!”

Jason glares at them briefly, his annoyance blatantly obvious, and they shut up.

Quickly, we all gather what supplies we need and make our way out of the warehouse—we’ve already wasted more time than we should have. The sky is still cloudy, but at least the rain has let up.

“If I had to take a guess,” I say, pointing to a semi-truck parked beside a building in front of us, “Thalia probably took the rooftops.”

Jason rolls up the map, stuffing it back in Luke’s pack. “Let’s get going, then.”

One by one, we make our way up to the broken fire escape until we’re on the roof and make our way toward Midtown.

†††

“Dude, I’m totally like Spider-Man!” Leo deems, walking across the plank that connects to the ledge of the other building.

“You almost fell off the fire escape,” I say. “Twice. Jason kept having to catch you.”

Leo hops off the wooden board and onto the roof, doing a weird little mid-air spin. “Those, my friend, were just my awesome moves. Besides, that’s why he’s Superman.” With that, Leo plants a sloppy, wet kiss on Jason’s cheek, grabbing the side of his head so he can’t move.

“Ugh, Leo!” Jason protests, shoving him off and wiping his face. “That’s disgusting.”

Batting his eyelashes, Leo slings an arm over Jason’s shoulders. “Awe, c’mon. You know you love me.”

Jason grumbles something under his breath; despite his apparent annoyance, he doesn’t appear to mind too much. Leo, as long as I’ve known him, is like that with most of his friends (mostly just Jason, but Piper, Connor, and Travis get their fair share of Leo’s affection, too), whether it be roughhousing, bear hugs, pranks, or, in Jason’s case, big, slobbery kisses. I used to wonder if he had a thing for Jason, as there has been more than once when he’s kissed him full-on on the mouth—I wondered about Jason, too, actually, if they were dating or something, but it seems to just be platonic.

“Hey, Leo. Could you stop making out with my cousin for a second and tell us where we’re at?” I ask. Since Luke had gotten a little mixed up with the directions when we hit the formerly busy areas, Leo has since commandeered the map.

“Pero un momento,” he says, fishing the map out of his pack. After a second of skimming the map and then checking his watch, he tells us: “Gentlemen, we are roughly thirty minutes from our destination.”

“Which is where…?”

“We just hit the Upper Westside,” he reiterates. “This has been your pilot, Leo Valdez. We hope you’ve had a pleasant flight, and remember to give us a review on Yelp! Five stars only, though— Oof!”

Leo, being Leo, trips over his own feet and face-plants into the gravel.

I roll my eyes, picking him up by the back of his shirt. “It’ll be a ‘pleasant flight’ when we find Thalia,” I say. “And Annabeth.”

Just then, a scream ripples through the air, sending a chill through us all. Immediately, I know who it is.

“Thalia,” Jason breathes—his voice almost a whisper—and rushes off toward the sound.

“Jason!” Luke calls, running after him as he sprints across the rooftops.

All of us follow suit, bounding building to building, barely managing to stay on.

Up ahead, Jason skids to a stop, and I can hear why. Hundreds of ghouls (not the cool kind) are surrounding a building where I can narrowly make out Thalia’s figure. She’s dangling above the walkers, kicking them in the faces as she struggles to climb over to the ledge. Right as she reaches the ledge, though, Thalia’s grip slips and she falls to the pavement.

Before I can acknowledge what’s just happened, my feet are moving, rushing toward her. I’m not losing another family member. I can’t. Not again. Thankfully, I’m not the only one. Connor, Travis, Luke, and Leo—not to mention Jason—are all running as carefully as they can so as to not fall off (or draw attention to us).

As we cross over to the building, gunshots ring out and I can hear profound cursing coming from below. Yup. Definitely Thalia.

“Thalia!” Jason shouts.

The walkers don’t seem to notice, but Thalia glances up briefly at the noise. First in surprise, and then in anger; she continues to shoot down the zombies around her.

“Hold on, Thalia, we’re coming!” Luke says, slinging off his pack and jumping onto a dumpster, shooting walkers left and right.

“Don’t need your help!”

“The heck you don’t,” Leo retorts, following Luke’s lead.

The walkers are surrounding the dumpster and start to corner Thalia, but we manage to thin them out enough to clear a path so we can get to Thalia.

My obsidian-black, iron sword slices easily through two undead’s heads, blood and rotten, deteriorating flesh splattering to the side. Thank God I just sharpened it. I keep hacking away, zombie after zombie falling at my feet. We all try to stand back to back so we don’t get isolated from the others and risk getting eaten alive, though that’s harder than it seems.

I trip over a severed arm while fighting three walkers, and I would have been dead meat if it weren’t for Leo—not something that I would think I would be saying—jumping in front of me, wildly swinging his hammers he duel wields, crying: “Party time, suckers!” as he takes them all down in quick succession. (I’ll have to thank the crazy guy later.)

The rest of the fight, surprisingly, goes down relatively easily. By the end of it, we’re all covered in sweat and guts, but glad that it’s over.

“What on earth were you thinking!” Jason exclaims, marching toward Thalia.

Thalia meets him halfway, nose-to-nose with her younger brother. “I was thinking that, since none of you cowards have the courage to fucking do it, I would go after Annabeth myself. And I had things under control, Jason!”

“Yeah, ‘cause this is definitely what you call a controlled situation,” Jason scoffs, wiping the mess off of his glasses to the best of his ability.

Thalia shakes her head. “Whatever.” She stabs her machete through a ghoul’s head, which is writhing on the ground, twisting it back and forth before yanking it out. “Well, it was nice talking to you, but I need to get going.”

She turns to leave, but Jason grabs her wrist.

“Jason, what are you doing— Let go of me,” she orders, struggling out of his grasp.

Jason tugs her back toward him, his grip tightening. “No. Not until we talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about, Jason?”

“This! You running off to get yourself killed for someone who’s probably not even alive, by now!”

We’re all left on the sidelines, anxiously watching as the pair argue. There could be more walkers lurking—there probably are—and my cousins are screaming at each other over something neither of them could help.

“Don’t you dare talk about her that way,” Thalia says, her face red with anger. “Even if she is dead, I’m not going to go on without knowing what happened to her. How would you feel if I left you, huh? Hell, you came after me without knowing if I was dead or alive!”

“That’s different, Thalia.”

Thalia huffs a humorless laugh. “Just tell me how exactly it’s different, Jason.”

“Because I know you! I knew which way you went. You took the map— We’re lucky Leo remembered it.”

“And we knew which fucking way Annabeth went! We know Annabeth,” Thalia fires back. “Or maybe you didn’t know Annabeth as well as you thought you did.”

With the blood on his face and the shade from the buildings around us, Jason looks almost frightening. I can feel everybody tense around me, I myself tensing up, too. It’s like watching somebody handle two ticking time bombs, waiting to see which one goes off first. I try to interject but don’t get the chance as they both simply tune me out. 

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“You try to act like the leader when you're not. And you drone on and on about what’s the best course of action without even considering anybody else. It’s just what you want, and what you think is best!”

“And it’s the same damn thing with you, Thals!” Jason exclaims. “You have been doing the exact same thing. I’m just trying to keep everybody together, and you running off on suicide missions doesn’t help.” He turns his head away, his jaw clenched, trying to organize his thoughts. Jason hates yelling, but even he’s prone to losing it. “And you want to talk about knowing Annabeth, how she could be alive, and how you won’t believe it until you see it. Meanwhile, when all of this started, you absolutely refused to go back for Percy. You knew Percy—out of all of us, he’s the most likely to survive all of this.”

Thalia’s face darkens, and her tone lowers. “Jason, you were there. You heard the phone call.” I feel my shoulders tense, gravity weighing down on me. Percy has been a touchy subject that we avoided because of how things went down. The last time we heard from him, it… wasn’t pretty. “I hate to say it, but be realistic. Percy’s probably dead. They got in, people were screaming bloody fucking murder, and the line disconnected before Percy could say ‘goodbye.’ Annabeth—there’s nothing saying that she’s dead.”

Oh, God. Where are you? Fuck. Thals, Jason. You guys need to get out of here. They’re everywhere. I’ll find you guys. I— Shit. Get away! Guys— His shout and the screams right before the line went dead still ring in my ears.

“And virtually the same thing happened with Annabeth,” he retorts. “There was no indication that Percy for sure died, but you assumed that he did. It’s not fair to get pissed at me for not going back for her when you wouldn’t even consider going back for your own flesh and blood.”

“J—”

“You’re being hypocritical, so stop pretending you’re not,” Jason snaps. “You are. Percy was in nearly the exact same situation, and you didn’t do anything about it. You didn’t care!”

“Don’t tell me I didn’t care! I was trying to keep you—”

This needs to end now. I’ve gotta stop it.

“Both of you shut the fuck up!” I yell, catching everybody off guard. A perk to being the quiet kid.

“You stay out of this, Nico,” Jason and Thalia say at the same time, Thalia pointing her finger in my face.

I can feel myself getting angry, but I force it back. If I don’t lose the rest of my family to the undead, it’ll be to this. “There are walkers everywhere, so be quiet. Annabeth was all of our friends, but you two are too busy being selfish and arguing with each other to realize.”

“‘Selfish?’” Jason questions.

“Yes, Jason, selfish,” I confirm, crossing my arms. “All Thalia cares about is how Annabeth’s disappearance is affecting her, and all you care about is bossing Thalia around.”

“Now, hang on a minute—” they both start, but I put a hand up, interrupting them before they can start.

“You two need to shut up and listen,” I tell them. “Percy was my cousin, too. You two have been too busy arguing to remember that it isn’t just you guys; this is affecting all of us. Not. Just. You.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to figure out what to say. Not so much what to say, actually, but how to articulate it. This is a precarious situation, but I can’t just beat around the bush and be shy about it. With these two (especially right now) I have to be blunt.

“I get it hurts, but you can’t keep thinking and arguing about what you did wrong. It’ll paralyze you and you’ll get stuck and that’s how you get yourself killed. Frozen in place in fear. At that point, you have nobody to blame except yourself. I’m not saying to just get over it and forget about it, or whatever, but you can’t fight with each other until one of you dies. Believe me, you’ll regret it,” I say, my face darkening. “I think that will hurt more than what’s going on right now; if one of you dies and the last thing you did was argue. You guys are my family, and I can’t stand seeing things this way. Please, don’t do this to yourselves.

“We need to head home. I want to go back for Annabeth, but we can’t.”

Tears brim in Thalia’s eyes, her fist clenched and shaking. Truthfully, I’m surprised neither of them got angry with me, but I suppose that’s a good sign…․

“Thalia, please. I…” Jason says, trying to keep his voice from breaking. “Look, Nico’s right. We can’t keep this up, it’s not—”

Before he can finish, Thalia grabs his jacket and pulls him into a tight embrace, tears finding their way down her cheeks. Jason hugs her back. Thalia crying is certainly a sight, since that doesn’t happen often.

“You’re all I have left,” she murmurs. “I’m your big sister, and I’m supposed to protect you, but here you are protecting me.”

“I’m not protecting you—you don’t need anybody to. If I do, it’s because I love you, Thals,” he says. “All we have left is each other, and I don’t want something to happen and this be the last thing we did.”

Of course, he doesn’t mean that Thalia is the only family he has left—he has me, and at this point, the group, annoying as some of them may be, is like a family—but it’s not the same as an older sister. For some of us, you only get one; Jason and Thalia are lucky to have each other. I’m glad that I didn’t argue with Bianca before she died, but it still hurts worse than anything. When she died, it felt like I got hit by a freight train, like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest over and over, and every other horrible, painful thing that a person could feel. Obviously, Jason and Thalia aren’t me, so I don’t bring it up. Watching them reminds me of it, though.

“Aw, such a tender, heartwarming moment,” Leo says, wiping a fake tear from his eye.

“Oh, shut up, Repair Boy,” Thalia tells him, but she isn’t angry.

I pick at a stray thread on my aviator jacket. “All right. Now that that’s settled, we need to get a move on—”

As I turn to move, Jason catches the collar of my jacket, tugging me toward him and Thalia. “Oh, no you don’t. You’re a part of this, too.”

I yelp in surprise, squirming in his embrace, eventually accepting defeat. There are worse things than getting dragged into an emotional group hug with my cousins, I guess.

We quickly wrap up our hug, gather our stuff, and start back toward the warehouse, all of us in relatively good spirits. There’s still a small cloud of dread hanging over us, but it seems to have gotten just a tad bit smaller. Maybe things won’t be so bad; for now, at least.

Read on archiveofourown.org <3

[celinamarniss]

The chapter concludes...

last week

I'll be posting the first chapter on Ao3 shortly. I think I'll continue to serialize it in bits of this fic on tumblr first, but polished-up versions of each chapter will get posted on Ao3 as they get written.

“Have you always been a Jedi?” 

Mara shook her head. She didn’t speak for a long moment, her gaze going somewhere far away. 

“When a child has a talent like that,” she began slowly. “They can’t hide it forever. I didn’t know what I was until after I was given to a man who… used my abilities for his own ends.” 

“I think there have always been people who hunt Force-sensitives,” she continued. “Certain… talents are always for sale, and someone’s always willing to pay. In some ways, I was lucky. There are worse fates. You’re Fringe, too,” she said quietly, meeting his eyes. “You understand.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I think—” She stopped and turned to Luke and the child. A moment later, the child’s ears quivered and he seemed to shake himself awake, blinking up at Din and Mara. Luke lifted his head, his eyes opening and slowly pulling into focus. 

“Everyone’s head on straight?” Mara asked. 

“Yeah…yeah.” The expression he shot her was slightly dazed. “He gave me a lot to think about.” 

“Good things?” 

When Luke looked up there was wonder in his face, his eyes shining with intense emotion. “He was a youngling in the temple, Mara. For decades before Order Sixty-six. He was only a child, and the memories are…blurry…but he was there.” 

“Did he—witness…” Mara trailed off, leaving whatever the child might have witnessed unspoken. 

Luke shook his head. “He was taken from the temple and hidden, but his memories—I didn’t want to push too deep,” Luke said. The weighted expression that passed between them seemed to speak volumes that Din couldn’t read. 

The silent standoff that followed continued to elude his understanding. After staring at her husband for a long moment, Mara raised her eyebrows. Luke tilted his head to the side. She shook her head. The corner of Luke’s mouth quirked and Mara blew out a breath and lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “Unbelievable,” she muttered. 

Luke laughed softly. “I promised Mara I wouldn’t adopt every orphan we came across,” he told the child. “But I think we can all agree that you’re a special case.” 

They were going to take him. Something heavy congealed in the pit of Din’s stomach. This was—this was good, wasn’t it? Someone was finally taking the little gremlin off of his hands, and he wouldn’t have to be responsible for protecting the child anymore. 

“You’ll take him?” He should feel relieved—lighter—not as if he were about to lose something he valued. This was the right thing to do. It would be good for the kid. 

“No,” Mara said. 

All three heads turned her way. “We can’t take him with us now,” Mara said. Her arms were still crossed across her chest but now it made her seem defensive and closed off. She glanced at Din and then back at her husband. 

“I have some things to settle and it might not be pretty. We can’t risk taking a child with us. It’s too dangerous. Not to mention the reason we came to [X] in the first place…” 

Luke sighed. “Mara’s right, we can’t take him with us now.” 

Din felt his frustration mounting, the pit in his stomach beginning to churn. “But he needs to be with his people—the Jedi. I can’t help him with his… powers, abilities, whatever you call them.” 

“And he should have the opportunity to learn to use the Force,” Luke agreed. “I would be honored to train your foundling, Mando. Just because Mara and I can’t take him with us now doesn’t mean we don’t want to. If you can watch over him for a little while longer, we’ll be back to get him as soon as we can.” 

Din looked down at the child, who was looking back and forth between them, his long ears bobbing up and down. 

“Alright.” He was glad they couldn’t see his face behind the mask. 

Luke leaned down to meet the child’s eyes. “I’m sorry, youngling. A Jedi knight can’t neglect his obligations. We’ll see each other again soon, I give you my word. Then, if you still want to come with us, we’ll take you with us.” 

The child’s ears drooped and he reached out a hand. Luke dropped his head so that the child could reach his face and lay his palm on the Jedi’s cheek. It was almost a keldabe kiss, but not quite. 

“I’d like my blaster back,” Mara said. She raised an eyebrow when Din looked her way. “And my knives.” 

Din handed over the couple’s weapons. He watched as Mara carefully and efficiently strapped the holdout back to her wrist, resheathed her knives, and reupholstered her sidearm. Luke simply smiled and clipped the cylinder back onto his belt. 

“Let’s go,” she said to Luke, moving past them to slap the release for the Razor’s ramp. It lowered with a hydraulic groan and Mara headed out of the ship. 

“Don’t give up on us,” Luke said, putting a hand on Din’s pauldron. “Our paths will cross again soon, you can depend on it.” Din nodded. 

Mara was already stepping lightly to the ground as Luke followed her down the ramp. The child hurried to the edge of the ramp to watch them go. 

Luke turned back and waved. “Goodbye, Grogu!” he called back to the ship. “May the Force be with you.” 

Grogu? Beside him, the child lifted a small clawed hand and waved at the retreating figures. 

“Grogu?” The child’s ear perked up and his head swiveled around in Din’s direction. “Your name is Grogu?” Din took the strange purring sound the child made as confirmation. 

“Grogu.” The name would take some getting used to. 

Grogu chirped happily, raising his small arms to be lifted. Din complied, picking the child up and tucking him close to his body. 

“I guess it’s just us again.”

[kyriat-stories]

The girls offered to help, and auntie Simadhne cleverly asked small questions, fishing for the real reason why they had come. 

- I’ve never met your parents, she said, but I hope they are in good health?

- Yes, thank you, Eira answered, they are both fine.

- So Noor, you and your sister have boyfriends? So many girls end up with a swollen bellies these days.

- Oh no, we are much too young for that! We are much too young to get married and such things.

- I don‘t know about that, Simadhne sighed, here around girls marry early. I was 14 summers when I got married to your uncle.

- What?! I can’t imagine getting married a year from now! That’s terrible!

- Not really. It is totally normal here. All my friends were about the same age when they got married. The terrible came later, she added subtly.

- Isn’t your daughter going to eat with us? Noor was puzzled that Amunet didn’t sit at the table with them.

- Our daughter? You think Amunet is our daughter?! Hahaha! Itaja giggled.

- Amunet is our doula. Simadhne explained. She came here after the war in Tobruk, and helps me with all the work in the garden.

- She doesn’t eat? Noor was still puzzled.

- Of course she does! Simadhne laughed. She will eat after she has washed the dishes and finished her work.

It dawned to Noor and Eira that it was not only the language and the food that they would have to get used to. The way of life was also very different. And some customs didn’t seem very easy to agree with.

- Since we have only one proper room in the house, you will have to sleep in the shed with Amunet, Simadhne continued. I hope you don’t mind?

- No, no, not at all! Can we talk to her? Eira felt she had to ask, she was afraid to step on anyone’s toes.

- Yes of course! She is not very fluent in Kretika, but better than you are, so that should work out perfectly, Simadhne smiled.

Amunet didn’t say anything, but didn’t look too enthusiastic. Maybe she wasn’t too happy to share her sleeping quarters with two strangers, maybe she didn’t fully understand what was said, but for sure she knew that she could not object.

In the evening Itaja went off somewhere and left the women alone at home. The atmosphere was immediately lighter. Simadhne and Amunet both seemed more relaxed, and chatted in Kretika while knitting.

- What a day! Eira said to Noor in their own language.

- Indeed! Noora replied. I feel exhausted physically and mentally. There are so many things to take in.

- We will learn. We have the Ngo-spirit you know! And auntie seems like a nice person, I’m sure she will help us adjust.

- But our uncle!! What a rude bully! He is nothing like our father, I almost can’t believe they are brothers!

- Yes, siblings can be very different, Eira nodded. So are we. But we are both good people, and not anything like our uncle!

- Thank Mrs. Moon for that!

- I guess it will not be easy living here. On the other hand, it’s not easy living anywhere. But having people around you that care for you, is really important, and that we have. If nobody else, we have each other.

- Always sis. Always.

                                          [End of chapter 5]

A huge thank you to those of you who have followed, liked and commented on my story so far. It means a lot, and I am truly grateful.   💕

Previous | Index | Start Ch5 | Characters | Chapter 6  

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Thirty Three

Cyclargus Thomasi Bethunbakeri

Pairing: Haikyuu!! x Fem!Reader

previous | next | 2099

KUROO'S P.O.V.

Though I made up my mind to leave Kenma, Y/N, and the others from the group I've been with for awhile, my heart aches as I walk away. Kenma was my best friend before the power outage and I really did want to keep my promise to Y/N. Honestly, I almost did turn around and walk back to her after hearing what she said, but I just can't go back there. And now, I know I'll never be welcome back again.

With that in mind, my next thought is to go find somewhere to get some food. I walk down the street alone until I see a building with its front windows shattered. It looks as though a car crashed right into the building and then drove away.

Curious as to what the inside looks like, I step over the glass and through the window. I go down a few aisles, looking casually for something to snack on.

When I find a bag of chips, I pull apart the wrapping and stick my hand inside. For some reason, I suddenly remember how I first met Y/N, Tsukishima, and Bokuto. They seemed like an interesting group, so I asked if I could join for that sole reason.

As the thoughts of old times flood into my head and won't leave no matter how hard I try, I turn the corner and see a girl about my age with a barbecue lighter in her hands.

I stop in my tracks and look at the girl with long, black hair and bubble gum in her mouth. When she hears me gasp, she looks over with a slight frown. She then narrows her eyes and knits her eyebrows together.

"Tetsuro?" she then mutters in disbelief. I can hardly believe my eyes.

"Emi?" I call back. The last time I had seen her was when I got arrested.

She runs right up to me and throws her arms around me. I squeeze her tightly, so overjoyed that she's still alive and well.

"What happened to you that day? I can hardly believe that was real life. I'm sorry it happened. It was all my fault," she shakes her head disappointedly as she pulls away from the embrace.

"It wasn't your fault," I remind her. "I ended up in the slammer for a little while, but it's all worth it now that I know you're still alive."

Her expression saddens me even further as she listens to me. I'm not sure why, though, until she sinks down to the floor and holds her legs in her arms. Worriedly, I sit down beside her and wait for her to speak.

"I've been alone this whole time, Tetsu. Even before the outage," she whispers as tears stream down her face silently. "I just can't do this anymore. It's too much."

"Then... what's with the lighter?" I ask carefully.

"Didn't you notice? The other day I watched as a car crashed right in front of this store. A girl almost got killed. I was going to say something but, I don't know, I just couldn't. Thankfully, she got saved."

"How could I notice that? I only just got here now?" I respond with a shrug.

"I mean, I spilled gasoline all over the floor. This was my last aisle. Then, the lighter-"

"Geez, Emi, what a way to go out," I chuckle.

"Tetsu, you should leave before I go through with it," she says honestly, looking straight into my eyes to show just how serious she is.

"I already left you once. I had no idea if you were safe or somewhere worse than death." I then look down at her hands around her legs and take one in my own. "I'm not leaving you again."

"You mean-"

"Yeah. I kinda fucked up my last situation anyway. There's no way I can go back now," I sigh.

"Tell me about it. I want to know what you did while we were separated," she smiles softly. "If you do, I'll let you stay."

"Alright then," I nod. "I was wandering around from place to place living on whatever I could find. I didn't really have a point to my exploration until I met this girl. She was traveling with two other guys. One of them had a huge stick up his ass, and the other was the complete opposite."

"So you stuck around?" she smiles, remembering me so well. "You wanted something to keep you entertained, huh?"

"You hit the nail right on the head," I smile back. "We got really close after that. Especially me and Tsukishima."

"The one with the huge stick..."

"That's the one," I laugh. "Our group eventually began to grow until one day... well, something happened to Tsukishima. We found him dead. Shot by someone."

"And then?" she asks curiously.

"I left. I promised Y/N that I'd look out for her but instead I just left her. That's why I can't go back, Emi. They'd never let me back in there and even if they did, it would never be the same."

"I get how you feel," she nods. "After the day you left, everything was different. Boss thought you and me were conspiring to get back at him and the other girls, well, I'll just say they all had the biggest crushes on you," she chuckles softly.

"Are you scared?" I then ask her seriously, changing the conversation. Honestly, I don't want to think any more of the past.

She lifts my hand to her chest and places my palm flat over her heart. "Can you feel it? Of course I'm scared."

There's then a silence between the two of us. I suppose you really can't ever fix the broken. If we're going to go out, though, at least it's in a blaze.

"Wait for me on the other side," she then smiles as she takes the barbecue lighter in her hand. "K?"

"I'd wait for eternity," I whisper as I nervously grin.

Emi nods and turns on the lighter.  I watch as she bends forward and silently lights the ground before us.

I'm so scared to die. And Emi hates being by herself. Both of us just want to feel nothing. We're already drowning, so I suppose burning is the best thing to do.

I'll get over my fear and we'll be together. Maybe then, we'll both be saved.

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