#i mean i get it tho i’ve been getting As for like so long then boom 💥 F
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Hello! 👋🏾 Your knight!Ghost and Princess!reader was so fun to read｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡
If you feel like it, Could you do a continuation? Like where ghost escorts her through the village because she kept complaining about it( and maybe they do something semi-public, like in the carriage or any alleyway)
Or maybe something risky in the palace, or just furthering their escapades in her bedroomJust some ideas!
I write too, so I get if you're not inspired by this or if you are and it takes a while lol
just hope it sparked some ideas(*˘︶˘*).｡*♡
All of them did thx sm 🙏🏾💙💙 I made this story a lot deeper than it was 😅😅 long story incoming
Part 1 is right here, but it's not required to read this tho
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The Truth
Ghost Riley x Black Fem Reader Angsty Smut
MDNI, Virgin!Reader, Princess!Reader, Black Knight!Ghost
CW: a lil angsty corruption kink??, semi-public smashing (castle library), afab parts, talking through it, fingering, riding
Word Count: 2525 (give or take)
Even after Ghost touched her in the bathtub, the Princess was still hellbent on seeing the fountain near the village entrance or the village in general, and not just from her balcony. The Black Knight wasn’t verbally rejecting her request anymore, opting to stand there with folded arms and cold eyes.
"What the hell is so special about that damn fountain, anyway?"
“I don't know! I’ve seen people throw coins into it after making a wish and I have to try it! It’s unfair!”
"What’s unfair is you being so hellbent on getting yourself killed. Are you in denial at how dangerous your town is?”
“Ugh, now you sound like my father; it's our village, why would my people want to hurt me?”
He raised his eyebrows as his eyes widened.
"You...think... the people in this village actually care about you?"
“Um, of course they do.” She laughs, backing up, “Did you forget I’m the princess? They may not know me to love me, but they surely care.”
"Oh they care alright— they care how easy you’ll be to rob... or worse.”
“Oh please, Simon, that’s a bit dramatic.”
“The moment you walk out there unprotected, they'd rip you apart. Just be thankful you haven’t been caught by anyone out there when you sneak out."
“I don't believe that...”
"You don't believe it?"
“No.”
“Jesus, your father’s a worse King than I thought. Makes sense he’s an even worse father.”
“Hey! He may be a pain, but watch your tongue.”
“I’ll watch my tone when he goes back in time and tells his daughter what people do when they’re desperate, especially the people in this town. Because I can tell you holding people for ransom, robbing and even killing is never off the table— they might even do it for fun.”
“Simon, stop!”
He laughs, “You know what, I’ll teach you myself. Maybe there’s a book in the library on betrayal and human nature.”
“You mean any book in there that I somehow haven't read a thousand times?”
“Let’s go, it'll give you something to do besides complain and piss me off all night."
Ghost steps out of the way to reveal the door across her room, gesturing for her to take the lead, allowing (Y/n) to lead. Once in the library, the Princess walked through the biology books, calling out everyone that she’d read already— and she was right, it was most if not all. They then moved to the history book aisle, her fingers skimming past all the books' spines while her guard followed close behind silently, watching.
“Find anything yet?”
She groans, turning to face him. “Of course not, maybe because I read all these already! Ugh, besides some of them are missing.”
Ghost raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean missing?”
“These books have been lost for forever, I think.”
“And nobody has tried to look for them?"
“I don't know, my father told me they went missing around the time he became King.”
“Around? Lost? What could've possibly happened to these books for them to just disappear?"
“I don't know, perhaps they were lost in the move...”
He almost laughs, "Lost in the move?"
“Don’t laugh! He’s not of royal blood, he was elected in by the old King before he passed!”
“Oh, I know; the biggest news in the land was when a common blacksmith took his place.”
“Simon—”
“But you’ve never seen a bookstore, so you wouldn’t know that most books don’t look like...” He gestures to the golden spines on the shelves, “...This. So a common blacksmith couldn’t have bought them.”
“I... I-I don’t know! I never really noticed or thought about until now... I was too young and they’re just books so I never asked again...”
"Good, you're learning.”
“Why would he hide books...?”
Ghost crossed his arms, giving (Y/n) a look as if it were a rhetorical question.
"Do you really have to ask? There is a reason he keeps you in this castle, isolated and dumb like this."
She blinks, “...Because I'm young...?”
“Because your father knows what those villagers are capable of."
“But all the times I snuck out, the few people I met were nice... They had to have known, the only I don't wear is my jewelry.”
"Why’s that?”
“In case something falls off while I'm sneaking out and leaves evidence to my routes...”
He chuckled, "You may be craftier than I initially thought."
“I'm naïve, not stupid.”
The Princess starts to walk to the bookkeeper’s desk to see if the books are over there, impressing Ghost with her newfound determination. She climbs over the desk and crouches under to look for the books and to her surprise, there is a stack of missing books sitting right where the bookkeeper would be standing. She gasps and grabs them, standing back up to place the 10 books on the desk for Ghost to see while she reads off the titles.
“So, she...” (Y/n) trails off, “The bookkeeper knew about this too...”
"Do you trust her?”
“I trust all the staff... at least I did.” The Princess gasps, “That's why he hired you to watch me— cuz a Black Knight wouldn't be as lenient with me as a palace guard.”
He smiled and uncrossed his arms. "You're catching on, Princess. Well done."
“Should I read them...? I feel like it maybe too much information, especially in one night.”
“I could give you a summary of what might be in those books.”
“What, then tell me!”
"Do you really want to hear my thoughts, Princess?”
“Yes, all of them, everything.”
“You aren't going to like it.”
“That’s probably why it was hidden from me, isn’t it?”
The Princess carefully jumps back over the desk and adjusts her nightgown before walking over to the lounging area of the library, causing a sly smirk to slowly form on his lips somewhat amused by her eagerness. She sat on the couch closest to the fireplace while Ghost stood in front of the couch opposite of her, silently gathering his thoughts before walking closer to (Y/n)’s sitting form.
"Your people are not kind." His boots thumped as he walked closer, “You're smart to sneak out at night because not only will the guards bring you back, but your townspeople are some of the most aggressive, opportunistic people I've ever encountered."
(Y/n)’s smile fades, eyes widening as they search his eyes for any sign of a joke.
"Maybe it was the King before your father or the one before that, but your father has yet to try to do anything about it.”
“Well, he—”
“And he won't." He knelt before the couch and looked her straight in the eyes, "And you know how I know?"
She swallows thickly, shaking her head. Ghost leans closer, his hands gripping the arm of the couch as he leans forward.
"Because in the time he became king to right this second, he had a goddamn daughter that's now 20 years old.”
Her jaw dropped with a sharp inhale. Her eyes slowly drifted to the floor where he was crouching, heart panging as a sick feeling of guilt bubbled in the pit of her stomach.
“He had over 2 decades to do something about the people in this town— but didn't. And now here you are, sitting in this palace not knowing a goddamn thing about the place you're meant to rule.”
“He wouldn’t, he’s just... He....”
“Now, I don't blame you, how could I? You're the only one who's in the dark about all this because he doesn't want his ‘precious daughter’ hurt.”
“See? He cares... about me at least...”
“And I don’t doubt he was going to keep this from you until you became Queen to make it your burden."
“What, no... My father—”
“Planned on teaching you nothing before shoving you into your new position? That's why I hate him-- that's why I could give a damn about consequences, ‘cuz there are none. Not even for touching his daughter in her bathtub."
(Y/n) gasps, looking back up with wide eyes and a burning face, the sight forcing an amused smirk to appear under the Black Knight’s mask.
"Oh don't look so horrified.” He rested his hand on her thigh, caressing the inside just like he did in the bath, “Remember, you tried to seduce me first."
Her thighs tremble, closing under the blue silk of the sleeping gown, “Then you already got your revenge; you don't have to taunt like this.”
"I'm not taunting you, Princess. Merely telling you all my thoughts, just like you asked. And I do so enjoy how easy it is to get a rise out of you.”
He continued to rub his hand along her inner thigh, a sly smile under that skull mask of his.
She scoffs, “But when I do so, it's wrong...”
"You need to be careful how you go about things, Princess.”
“Oh is that so?”
“Yes. For example, your method of 'accidentally' forgetting your towel is a very subtle tactic and if I was one of your stupid palace guards, I would've fallen for it. But mine...” He suddenly gripped her thigh firmly and separated it from the other, making her gasp, “Is much more direct.”
“Then.... You should teach me more...”
He chuckled softly and shook his head, his hand started to slowly slide further up her thigh, “And what makes you think I'd be willing to teach you a goddamn things like this?”
“Because you're the only one that's taught me anything.”
He paused for a second to think.
"Put your legs on my shoulders and lean back."
“R-Right now?”
“No time like present. Especially, we’re less likely to get found.”
Looking down at him, the Princess slowly leans back on the couch and places the soles of her feet on him, the chill of his armored shoulders making her shiver. He smiled under his mask as his hand slipped under her gown to trace small circles on the inside of her thighs. He slowly lifted the silk over his head and pulled her hips closer to the edge of the couch cushions until he was sure she couldn't see his face before finally tugging his mask under his chin. She gasps when he tugs her underwear to the side before gripping the armrest of the couch at the feeling of his warm, plump lips wrapping around her tiny bud.
Ghost’s tongue gently caresses sensitive clit in circles in a way her fingers have never done. She looked down at her dress where his head was with a slack jaw in shock at his ability to make her feel this good already. His fingers were one thing but this was another. Every lick and swirl of his tongue was another whine or squirm from her, causing Ghost to grip her thighs even firmer.
“O-Oh my gods... How are you...?”
“Hush... Shh...” His voice was muffled, his mouth refusing to stop, “Just feel...”
“But it’s too good... I don’t know what to do...”
She could feel her smirk against her folds before sucking harder until her legs tremble as they try to close around his head. Try. He closes his eyes as he angles her hips upward to be able to push his tongue inside, slurping and flicking her insides with soft grunts from under her sleeping gown. (Y/n)’s hips buck and stutter until she finally cums with a yelp of his name.
He retracts his tongue from her and watches her cunt pulse while listening to her pants and gasps from inside the silk. He then drags his tongue across her folds one last time, cleaning off her excess slick before pulling his mask back up and standing up to nonchalantly sit next to her quivering body. She pants, turning her head to aim her glassy eyes at him.
“Wh-what now?”
“Now...” He slowly undoes his belt, “You’re gonna sit on my lap and give yourself some pleasure.”
“But I thought the man was supposed to be on top of the woman.”
Ghost chuckles, “That’s one way of doing it. But I don’t wanna be too rough on you for your first time so I’ll let you take over. So c’mon, you’re wet enough.”
(Y/n)’s eyes widen as his hand reaches into his pants and pulls out his hard cock, letting it stand erect from his pants. She takes a deep breath.
“So that’s why you...”
“Ate you out? Part of the reason; it’s also just a way to get you even more turned on.”
The Princess slowly climbs onto Ghost’s lap and straddles him while holding his shoulders to keep her soaking wet cunt hovered above his tip. His chin was angled up, observing how her nervous gaze looked all around, seemingly worried about his size so the knight softly grabbed her hips to get her attention.
“Oi.”
“Y-yeah?”
“Relax... Remember, you’re in control and I’m right here.”
With that notion, she slowly lowered herself onto him, biting her lip to keep her discomforting groans from echoing in the library. Her fingers dug into the metal of his shoulder armor as her body adjusted to him— the slick from her earlier orgasm helping like he said it would and more than she thought. Her face contorted in displeasure, her eyes shut tight from every inch but suddenly fly open when his cockhead hits something inside her— something his fingers and tongue hit, but somehow even better. The Black Knight stifles his laugh with a groan.
“You felt that huh?” His voice drops to a whisper, “Hit it again.”
With the guidance of his hands, the Princess lifts and drops herself on his cock, hitting her spot over and over again and understanding what he meant by giving herself some pleasure. Her eyes flutter shut again as she creates her own slow, steady rhythm up and down on his lap, her ass lightly slapping against his thighs with each drop. Ghost groans, making her open her eyes in time to see his head tilt back on the couch with his own eyes shut.
“Are you alright?”
“Never better....” He pants, “Never fucking better, just keep going.”
“Can I go faster?”
“Fuck, please yes.”
Her hands grip his shoulders harder and she bounces faster, whimpering at the way his thick, veiny shaft drags against her walls. His pants come through his mask, making his hands tighten on her hips. The Princess leans forward to rest her forehead on his shoulder to which he pulls her closer, pressing their chests together. His arms wrap around her and his hands hold her ass cheeks to help her bounce faster, their grunts and moans softly echoing off the walls along with the slapping crackling of the fireplace. It wasn’t long before her hips started to grind back and forth on his lap to fight off the growing pressure in her body.
“No, keep going. That’s a good thing.” He murmurs, loving the fluttering clenches around his cock, “A great fuckin’ thing, keep doing that ‘til you’re done.”
“What about—”
“I’m the teacher, all you gotta worry about is keeping that pretty voice down.”
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(a/n): sorry its so late loves, I got a cold and then a job lmao🤣😂
#black reader#black writers#x black reader#black fem reader#x black fem reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghost x y/n#ghost simon riley#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#cod#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#ghost mw2#call of duty ghost#cod mw2#cod ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost smut#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#call of duty x reader#call of duty smut#cod x reader#cod smut#call of duty modern warfare
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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I BOUGHT AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY CRYSTALS AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY THEY ARE ADORABLE AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
I cant take a photo of them rn but I got a pretty piece of Angelite for Aziraphale and an angular looking piece of mahogany tigers eye for Crowley. They look so cute together and are the only ones on the crystal shelf squished together the rest of them are evenly separated I’m so fucking happy every time I look at them asjgasjhsakqh
btw Angelite is a pale blue stone with lil white dots and mahogany tigers eye is reddish black and has cool shiny parts idk how to describe it sry
#I’ve been meaning to do this for so long but could never find a good stone that felt like Crowley#I had like three options for aziraphale tho#at first I really wanted to do Azurite but since it’s like an insanely vibrant blue colour but I associate with the word Azure too much#besides its pretty rare and expensive so I probably wouldnt have bought it#imma reblog with photos once I get home#☺️#good omens#crowley#aziraphale
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Sometimes you just get real fucked up and that’s ooooookay
#he’s handling it#idk about well but he’s handling it#I’ve been thinking about arch losing his arm again and I mean#it’s not a good time for him but I do think there’s some comedy in there#I think at some point gage and mason come back from dealing with the bos and he’s just sitting like this#contemplating his life up to this point#and everyone is going to have so many questions for him cause of the equipment he had in his bunker but#they just look at him and know there ain’t shit in there right now#man’s is dead to the world#L + Ratio + all of my friends know I was in the Enclave for a really long time how tf am I gonna get outta here#also just got his hair to grow back but uhh looks like that’s going down hill#cw: limb loss#also just for good measure uh#cw: trypophobia#in the ghoul way tho#Archer#fallout oc
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I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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Finally finished my exams and I am so mentally exhausted ugh
Yeah that’s why I’ve been inactive I tried to do my best to study
#yeyarants#I’m done#so now I get to annoy my oomfs#hey guys you missed me#ok but I hope this summer break I have time to focus on writing#and by that I mean fanfics#im done tho give me a whole week to relax#those exams kicked my ass holy shit#spent my time studying like my life depended on it lol#IM FREE#just need to catch up on a whole week lol#or longer#idk how long I’ve been gone
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i hope you don’t mind me not participating in sunday six for so long and not updating my fic... i’m having a bit rough time handling my life irl right now
#meaning i’m having the worst start of the year ever#i’m EXHAUSTED fucking exhausted from my living situation and it doesn’t seem to get better any time soon#naturally i don’t have it in me to write because i don’t have enough time to relax. it’s been three fucking weeks.#i just don’t know even my body gives up from this stress and not like something terrible is happening#it’s extremely upsetting also considering that i love writing and it’s the only activity that makes sense to me#and always has been like that it’s in my core#and i. can’t do it. i can’t. i have no willpower or strength and it’s not writer’s block i’m just SO TIRED ALL THE TIME#therapy and years of medication mean nothing at this fucking point. props to me for not killing myself tho. well done 👍#sorry for ranting i am so frustrated that i can scream. i have actually. didn’t help.#well ahem i hope you understand 🙏 i feel bad that i’ve promised the chapter a long time ago and NOT TO BE THAT AO3 AUTHOR but#i really wanted to keep my promise. fuck me i guess#putting letters together one word at a time
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kinda crazy but…
im gay for you
:o no way i’m also gay for u <3
#also i’m fucking exhausted it was a long ass day of robot#i broke down crying for no reason in the middle of my last tech interview for drama#because i was so fucking stressed abt hosting the robotics comp this weekend and waiting on college decisions#and also two of my friends were like in the hospital at the time#one bc they hadn’t eaten in like a week because of an ed and we’re doing really badly#and the other because they had to get stitches bc of sh#but i couldn’t really explain alllll of that to my drama teacher#anyway#i did hear back from one of the schools tho!!!!! and i got in!!!!!!#but they didn’t give me as much money as i would have needed to commit there#so like i probably won’t end up going even tho i really loved the school and it’s kinda my top choice#and also the accepted students days all conflict and i ended up signing up for one that would mean id miss the end of district champs#for robotics if we qualify#which my hopes are vaguely high this year#but now i’m gonna have to miss part of it if we do ://///#and the other more competitive one i’m waiting on hearing from some time this weekend i’ve been checking the portal like every twenty minute#it’s really bad#anyway i’m gonna go take a shower and then go to sleep before i drive myself to another breakdown#idk why the tags of this ask was my place to say all of this but it sure was
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2023 reads // twitter thread
The Sun and The Void
Venezuelan inspired high fantasy
follows a young outcast swordswoman taken in by her grandmother, the dark sorceress for a noble family, who relies on the magic to keep her alive after being attacked by monstrous creatures
and a young noblewoman who’s the shame of her family because of her mixed heritage and desire to use magic
both are manipulated by those with more power than them into a plot to free an ancient evil god
mineral based magic, politics, nonhuman MCs
#The Sun and The Void#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#hm. haha. surface level this is kinda interesting and cool but i am going to follow with so many complaints#though I feel like it didn’t go into the magic or worldbuilding as much as I wanted and it felt irrelevant to the characters#like how does the magic even work? idk man#though I feel like it didn’t go into it as much as I wanted and it felt irrelevant to the characters#very slow to start and the pacing is weird. it would also go ages without having the other POV. very disjointed?#it felt like the first 60% was just context for the group of characters getting together as a group and then it was a bit predisposed with#They’re A Group! even tho. they're barely a group for long#the authors note mentions that the story concept started with a line about the god and ritual and…..yeah I can kind of tell#I feel like everything was built up around it in a way that ultimately that part didn’t fit right#I never bought that any of them were actually like fully committed to the evil dark magic? and also there’s this plot twist#that they have to fully kill the sacrifices & I was like…did we not already know that? girl r you stupid what do you think sacrifice means#also#oh my god at like half way one of the MCs is like. oh finally this guy who I’ve been exchanging letters with for months turned up to get me#away from here! by the way I’ve been exchanging letters with this guy and we’re friends! and like. she’d been doing nothing much for the#last 10% of the book why was that not like….shown as something she was doing? and like build up the friendship for the reader instead of#just dropping it on us - and also that we know the character from the other POV. and hes a racist prick. and we're supposed to believe she'#charmed by him because of this letter writing WE DIDN’T SEE….. why.#and then also that is like. he’s a shitbag and it’s obviously not romantic at all. he’s manipulative and terrible to her#EXCEPT at the end it implies his bad behaviour is because demon and oh uwu he gets all beat up and maybe hes sowwy now#and starts to imply she likes and is attracted to him? and I get the impression the next book is gonna be like evil power couple dynamic?#which. feels like the first concept the author had; and then tried to build up to that but not effectively lmao#for the lesbians:#I DO APPRECIATE having an assumed love interest then realising that that was idealised and actually you have feelings#for this other person you’ve become friends with! nice slow switch up. though quite brief#I do however dislike that when she admitted her feelings to the first LI and she rejected her it was still framed as the other’s fault#for not reciprocating the feelings….worst trope….also like. it kind of conflated her not feeling that way to her having a bit of class disc#which. yikes? oh my god stop villainising people for not reciprocating romantic feelings (ALSO they turn out to be related anyway 🤪)#i just feel like the romance switchover could have been done with more nuance and complexity
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ugh i kinda wanna get back on tumblr and rot my brain out some more
#i’d probably mostly just still bitch about my family tho#and then dish n overthink on the polycule expansion pack that just dropped#kink club tales abound#didn’t see that one coming#still unemployed#broker than ever#paranoia is consistently present but manageable#social anxiety is getting lesser every day tho!! making friends is awesome and cool and epic#okay time to bitch about the fam#the level of misogyny/transmisogyny is ASTRONOMICAL since my moms bf moved in#like he’ll deadname/mispronoun ems and he didn’t even meet her until#until recently and she’s been transitioned for over two years like buddy you do not get the benefit of the doubt with a little ‘slip up’#here. you are being a malicious piece of shit on purpose!!!!! at least don’t be a pussy about it!!!!!!!#also big kudos to my mom on sharing ems dead name. really fucking classy.#my cats and my girls tie my sanity together with a spider’s spinner#thin and invisible they weave the net around me to keep me safe until i can pluck up the courage to get us the fuck out of here#should be able to pass a drug test soon so that opens up my application options a lot. i feel confident that i’d be able to hold myself#together long enough to get enough cash to put a security deposit down somewhere in the city#extra friends means the chance for roommates too!!!!!<333#only if i can be chillin in the nude in front of them tho. chances now are looking dece lol#ugh i’ve been manic dramatic for long enough tonight#hopefully it’s only the void i’m screaming at. i’m so damn lucky to have all that i have rn. especially the friends.#stick together with your local faggots and trannies always#ALWAYS<33#signed dogweed
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I’ve been having a rough few days, but I’ve been feeling a bit better so I decided to make some lil thingies for some spiraling upwards kitties :3
#keese draws#warrior cats oc#spiraling upwards#I’ve posted art of ratstar and pigeonbillow before but the other three I haven’t I think#but yeah these are some more of the minkclan founders#and by that I mean two of them are and one of them was a kitten at the time#lightning is haveniris’ mom but she didn’t trust herself to raise him so her clanmates sort of collectively raised him#and by that I mean mostly pigeon and two other old ppl that aren’t included here#light did end up opening up to him more and acting as more of a mom after he chose to become a medic tho#the two have a complicated relationship for sure but they still care abt each other a lot#oh yeah and literally all of these guys are dead by the time murtle rolls around except for haven#pigeon died about two years before the other two and raincinder has been dead since before minkclan was properly founded#which is unsurprising given she’s such an old withering woman#she mostly made it that long because she was given a guide sponsor life#so long story short not all starclan cats actually get to use the cool starclan powers and those who do are usually ‘sponsored’ with an#extra life and a cool star like marking#this isn’t a well known thing tho and even within starclan only higher ranking cats rly know anything beyond knowing that every now and#then new guides are chosen#now usually what’s supposed to happen is that the sponsored cat has a close eye kept on them and if they are deemed worthy they’re allowed#to keep their mark and become a guide once they die the second time#the main flaw in this system is that the cat who sponsored them has to be the one to revoke it#so if they refuse to revoke it for whatever reason there’s not much that can be done about it#or in raincinder’s case her sponsor ended up fading before they could judge her fully#so even though by all means even the most rebel friendly guides would revoke it easily she managed to keep her mark til death#this was ofc largely helped by her living til 19 fucking years dear god woman#but hey I guess it means minkclan gets a guide even though she’s a rly shitty one#rly that mostly only matters for the sake of nine lives and the sake of travel between starclan and the living territories#which actually does cause a lot of problems when all the guides decide to go haunt a child instead#oh also guides also pass on their mark to leaders who’s life ceremony they hosted#not the guide role tho each guide gets a new mark
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Okay!!!!!!!!! I watched GO2!!!!!!!!! I’m once again feeling insane
#good omens#I’ve been busy but I finally watched the whole season#screaming and cheering at the end lmao mean!!!!!! I was like ok based on how everyone’s being they’re gonna be separated at the end#and Christine and I were like ok is aziraphale gonna be offered a job. and is he gonna take it. 🤨#but I did NOT think there was also gonna be a whole ass Crowley confessing his feelings scene where he Kissed Him On The Mouth#they’re insane for this#Christine: well we are in a post-ofmd world. me: I forgot about that. I’m still trapped in spn mindset hell#what do u mean the two pale coconuts actually jumped together on screen#*bumped#anyways. I get it guys#also tho I’m so excited lol are they gonna be nemeses next season???????? that’s my dream!!! I always want to see friends etc that then#become foes bc of Circumstances#but also tell me aziraphale wasn’t already like Oh I Fucked Up by the end of the ep#how long until he tries to go back to Crowley and this time I think he’ll actually have to do any amt of work to earn Crowleys forgiveness#which he rly has never had to do before lol#but that man Fucked Up “I forgive you shut up!!!!! 😭#also the blatant amount of dr who references. yeah I remember he’s the doctor thank you for reminding me!!!!!!#I saw a tiktok that was like all my teenage girls in their 20s rn are like BARK BARK BARK WOOF MEOW about David Tennant rn and it’s soo true#The Eternal Tumblr Sexyman#ANYWAYS AGAIN#I’m just dispensing all my thoughts here bc I don’t have time to scroll through a tag and feel insane and I don’t need to barf all these#onto someone else’s post#so here we are#I need to find something else to think about today bc every time I remember crowleys face as he was trying to eek out an I Love You I feel#physically nauseous#what am I supposed to do after that!#sorry to anyone who read all these tags I didn’t mean to
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if you are a professor you most likely experience students crying in your office so u give them a better grade but have you ever had a student crying in your office for an F
#real#it happened#my dr was SO nice to me that i just burst out crying#it was so embarrassing#i love her#my dad would flip out if he found out 😭 he’d think im possessed….#i mean i get it tho i’ve been getting As for like so long then boom 💥 F#i should stop oversharing on the internet i am so sleep deprived goodbye
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Greatest thing just happened: my sister asked me for show recommendations. My time has finally come
#she gets so bored in the summer when schools out#even tho she still is working a full time summer job#a teacher really is the best job for a workoholic#i recommended a few shows cuz she said she wanted a suspenseful long form drama#but she picked the last of us#even tho there’s only one season but my praise for that one might’ve been a bit more than the others#i want so badly to recommend sense8 but I cannot bring myself to recommend to my sister a show that starts with a graphic sex scene#and has consistent orgies#I’ll never agree with the puritan ant sex scene group#but i really would rather be able to watch a good show without having graphic sex scenes#at least so I can recommend the show to my family#i keep accidentally bringing it up cuz I love it so much#and then someone will be like ‘i should watch that too’#and i have to be like ‘nooo you don’t have to…’#my brother also wants to watch it but I’ve flat out told him he can’t until he’s older#He’s 15 which is about the age I watched it at but just because I did doesn’t mean he needs to lmao
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…2 years today
#I’ve just been reflecting on things (like I shouldn’t lmao has I over analyze everything) but…#I’m genuinely happy with the content I produce#the people I get to interact with daily#my beloved mutuals who care and understand me#etc#I feel like I can be me without any gear or judgment in a way#and I’m so used to putting up a mask irl expect to a select few#I wanted to create a safe place on my blog for myself and in turn I think I also made it a few others safe places#and that makes me really happy#my younger self I think would be proud of where I am too both in terms of my mental health (ehhh still but def progress over the years) etc#I mean I didn’t even think I’d live long enough to see this if I’m being totally honest#but even in some of the darkest moments of my life I come on here and write about Kaeya and some shit and life gets a little better#a little more bareable#and that’s enough for me to keep going and eventually shining#shievejrkorfj forgive my rambling#I saw a picture of myself in the height of my depression#and another picture of me when I well relapsed badly a couple years ago#even tho I went through a serious low in February I don’t think anyone knew about#I’m happy to say I’m 2 years clean it today#of*#tw sucidal ideation#tw self harm mention#onto hopefully better mental state chai
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#really think I actually need to find a psychiatrist one of these days#not to quote my shitty roomie but I really don’t have to live like this#I am. doing not as bad as I have at other points. but I am definitely not doing great I would say#like I mean things are fine at the moment. but there’s definitely the edge of a precipice kinda feeling to it#like I do really enjoy my job that’s a really good thing for me actually and I finally found a place to live so that’s excellent but#I do REALLY think I need to get help before I move out. which realistically isn’t going to happen bc it’s less than a month away#but uh. I am. not going to do well on my own admittedly. sure I was practically living on my own the last few months in the last place#just bc no one would speak to me. but there were still other people in the house. I think my potential for getting really bad again is#perhaps going to be alarmingly high if I’m on my own without a roommate or a therapist/physiatrist to figure shit out#I don’t want it to take away how excited I am to live at my new place but I genuinely should not be on my own. like practically I’m fine#it’s mentally I won’t do well with it I think#on a totally different note tho if I did ever end up getting diagnosed with what I think I’ve got going on it opens up a ton of#diners drive ins and dives jokes for me lmaoo#so that’s something I guess lol. but yea anyways idk what to do really. am bad at bridging what I can bring up to people and what I can’t#as that is literally one of the defining reasons my relationship with her fucking crashed and burned. so idk when/what/how much I can#talk about things anymore. went from telling no one anything and it completely ruining my closest friendship. to telling her everything and#it ALSO ruining our friendship. so my grasp of what’s appropriate is evidently nonexistent ya know. but I do need to talk to someone bc#I am perhaps doing less than optimal ya know? and I don’t really want to go back to my last therapist I feel like it’s been too long#don’t know what my plan of action is here but this was slightly cathartic at least
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