#i mean so many things dont make any sense lmao

[toytulini]

thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.

[changbinsboobs]

tbh I noticed that a lot with several idols, one minute they could be severly desperate for relationship then in other readings someone hurt them or they just dont give a fuck about it. so my question is if skz members would be more into hook ups or temporary relationships or are there members who want something more long term and romantic? or as romantic as they can get with their schedules lmao

SKZ Long-term relationships or Flings?

Hi:) i hope you enjoy the reading💗 i used the 3rd Eye Tarot Deck

*For entertainment purposes only!

Chan - Temperance, 4 of Cups

With him i see that he wants to keep his own peace and not get into relationships, but he gets crushes easily, sometimes more than one at a time and that confuses him, causing him to lose his peace over that anyway so he thinks then "whats the harm in a little fun?" and then dips his toes here, then dips his toes there, most of the time i feel it doesn't go very buttery which again strengthens his conviction of having to keep his peace and keep away from distractions like that, but oh my are women distracting...especially when naked 👀

Lee Know - 6 of Swords

He seems very serious when it comes to relationships and his ultimate goal is marriage. He has left a lot of unserious people once he realizes they mean only fun and games and aren't ready for the real, serious stuff. He seeks this "the one" feeling and looks for that person and i believe gets into serious relationships only when he thinks he has a chance for that with that person.

Changbin - King of Cups

Short and clear - a one woman man! I don't think he even sees other women when he is in love. Mind you i didn't say relationship👀 i believe being in a relationship and being in love mean 2 different things for him as i think he might have tried (forced himself) into (short lived) relationships where he wasn't really in love but hoped to develop feelings over time because the match just seemed to make sense, or because friends and family nudged him into finding someone. But i don't think he's a supporter of that method and i think his experience has strengthened a conviction in him to only date and begin a relationship if he has a crush or feelings for the person already. If HE is the pursuer and not the pursued. So yeah i think he is kind of in a waiting period maybe, where he is very exclusively monogamous and also believes in "the one" or in soulmates and patiently waits for them to meet. Once that happens i believe he would be pretty quick to escalate the relationship. I see him with time getting eager to settle down with someone and he would probably make an offer to his person very quickly. An offer to get together, an offer to introduce her to his family and friends, an offer to move in together, an offer for marriage, an offer for kids etc.

He always gets so phylosophical in his readings💗 he has lots of strong opinions about many many things that i feel like he can't share very well with others cuz he just doesn't have much or any people around him he can talk that deeply about stuff with.

Hyunjin - 2 of Swords

He's a long term relationship guy but he can't make up his mind. Like he can't make up his mind if he should or should not get into a relationship, if he does or does not have real feelings for that person. If he likes this person more than the other. I feel like he might be between two or more people quite often and not be able to choose which one he actually likes because he is so quick to judge and react and i believe he holds a grudge too, so if he has interest in person A, but they disappoint him in some way (even with something small and insignificant) he starts doubting this persons genuinity and his feelings for them, and his interest gets sparked elsewhere - with person B. Then they disappoint him too and he's like "Person A was so much better, lemme try there again" and he goes back to Person A and it goes on and on like that. Poor guy wants love and commitment and seeks stability but he's so unstable himself he can't get that for himself, no matter what person stands in front of him.

Han - 9 of Swords, Judgement, 7 of Cups

Ehmm...i think he gets very intense and only has eyes for one person. Bit sadly very short lived. He fights that tho and wants to become more consistent but as much as his eyes are only focused on that specific person and see nothing else - his focus doesn't last that long and something new redirects him pretty quickly so i don't think he's someone to have serious long term relationships. He craves that tho. Maybe he has to grow up a bit and then he can focus on one person better.

Felix - Death, 2 of Cups

Almost the same for Felix. But with the difference that he doesn't go move on to another crush quickly. With is that he meets someone, has a great time with them, everything's nice - and then all of a sudden the spark dies. Even if he stays with them a little longer its not the same anymore so he gets bored and with his busy schedual i don't think he's in the mood for driving on something that doesn't excite him in any way. So i think he's kind of in the middle? He doesn't jump from person to person like chan or han, or even hyunjin, but he isn't very long-term oriented like changbin and lee know either.

Seungmin - Queen of Cups

That man's looking for a wife! Tbh i don't know what else to put to that😅 he says theres no need to overcomplicate it, its as simple as that - "i want a wife."

I.N - 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups

He likes investing and nurturing and building - all long term things. So i believe he is also long term relationship oriented, but im not really getting it as such a strong sense as the other members. Maybe he wants a long term relationship but not right now, and so he puts his (or invests) his energy and resources elsewhere, so later on he can properly focus on nurturing and building the relationship. Omg yes of course i get it. Thats what the investments abut. So right now he's investing in his future by building security in his finances etc. so that later on when he mets the right person and decides to build a life with them he can do that with a peace of mind and provide accordingly for his partner. Very lovely💗

[gofishygo]

mito mito mito hihi 😋

i’ve been having some thoughts n i felt like sharing w the class newayssss

so i was having bubble tea earlier and i started thinking,,,,what cod characters would like it? i feel like price def wouldn’t,,simon wouldn’t mind it but he does def think its too sweet and proper tea is superior and blah blah blah (i acc don’t know im kinda divided on that like i hc him as a sweet tooth but bubble tea,,,ehhh i feel like he wouldn’t like it all that much like he’d be all grumbly about it,,, idfk

johnny and gaz i think would like it lots ,,

i also think alex wouldn’t like it abd farah would (i js like hc farah as this secret softie ok leave me alone 😞)

but THAT got me thinking,,,, what other food preferences would they have ?? i think gaz would rlly like sushi (saw a fan art of him on a sushi date w the reader and i forgot who made it but ):$/:)/&!:!!!!! it was so cute) and i also think gaz would handle spicy food well ?? and he would like seafood in general methinks (tryna think of some select seafood items he wouldn’t like but im drawing a blank bc im vegetarian shusbssjnsuen)

idrk ab simon and johnny and price,,,,,,out of them 3, i feel like simon or johnny would have the biggest sweet tooth (they’re on like completely dif ends of the spectrum character wise but shh i js know it) but they all eat A SHIT TON like the food could be burned or too salty or smth but if they’ve js come back from a mission then they’re eating that shit UP. and asking for seconds. and thirds. they would still give u food feedback if it’s some other day tho

also johnny is extremely passionate about haggis. no i have never tried it yes i js know he is ok moving on

KONIGGGG hmmmm,,,, i have no fucking idea lmao i think? a lot of german cusine involves bread and stuff,,,so……………i think he’d have rlly bland meals idk

i’ve been rlly into keegan lately but i cant come up w anything for him aaaa

also gaz would be the only one who knows how to use chopsticks. the others would learn fast being in the military and all but gaz and chopstick skills js make sense???

ANYWAY im soso sry for rambling sm lmao this is a lot of words,,,,,and this isn’t a req by any means !!! js needed to hear ur thoughts bc food is js calling to me like “ok but would blank character like this” like. urgh. ok im done now i think but yeah food preferences for cod characters of ur choice

ALSO !!! THE IOS SHARK STICKERS REMIND ME OF U,,,,,look at them$:!!;&:!3 OK IM ACC DONE NOW BYE BEY MITO HIPE U DONT FALL ASLEPE READING ALL THAT

AHHH hi weebun !! ^^ i was literally having bubble tea with my sister like a few hours ago and when i checked the inbox n saw this i BOLTED !! sorry for never responding to this, i forgot inbox existed..,

notes: shittily wrote as this as a warmup/just general yap :> sorry for messiness and incoordination.., platonic, no warnings !! unless ur lactose intolerant idk

so you'll be jus chillin w the 141 on base and then say something like "boba is absolute gas shits better than normal tea" and of course, since the majority of the taskforce is british, you get absolutely fucking jumped for it. like- keep in mind, you say this price, the NUMBER ONE TEA AND BISCUTS DEFENDER, so you do end up getting toilet duty for a week with the explanation of 'uncordial behaviour.'

but after your deployment, you are the one to arrange where the 141 meet up. it's a little ritual you guys have developed to stay connected in between missions, one that makes your friendship seem a bit more real. sometimes the only thing that keeps your eyes open and heart pumping. and since you're an absolute fucking menace, you ask if you can meet around the heart of london- and then drag them all into the nearest bubble tea store you can.

-

price... doesn't end up liking it. takes a total of two sips, nearly chokes on the pearls, and then sets the cup down. he claims he's been around long enough to know that this- like many other foods, is probably some 'trendy millennial bullshit that'll disappear in a solid few', but that doesn't help ease the insane side eye that he gets from the cashier.

but to your surprise, ghost seems somewhat okay with it. his face doesnt really change (from what you can tell- his mouth is still hidden due to some face mask he put on), but he seems neutral, relaxed, even. he mutters something along the lines of how it isn't too bad, but it doesn't beat a cuppa- to which you chose to ignore, and how he'll probably just stick to having an earl grey in the mornings. but a few months later, you catch him at the same boba store, and you cant help but giggle to yourself.

soap fucking inhales the drink. its genuinely concerning, to say the very least. he seems to like.. unhinge his jaw like some kind of snake, and then inhales the whole drink in what you think is a millisecond. and since he's the only scotsman on the team- thinks the whole 'tea n biscuits' ritual his colleagues have is utter stupidity, so not only does he now FREQUENTLY drink boba because he likes it- he also drinks out of utter spite.

gaz is the only one with a seemingly respectable opinion about boba, unfortunately. he's had it before, multiple times- it appeals to his sweet tooth and is the occasional treat after long missions. but unlike you, gaz does not value peace, and seems to keep egging soap on in chugging unreasonable amounts of the drink. (and he doesnt mention it, as he does not want to face the same punishment as you did, but he thinks that bubble tea is sometimes, just sometimes better than his cuppa.)

masterlist (some of my other stuff is better promise)

[doyouevenshipbr0]

borderline illiterate gruvia think piece.

happy gruvia day i guess!

so like…… im a grown woman. so believe me when i say at this point i rly couldnt care to be genuinely bothered by antis. like i will literally just block them lmao. ok yes i did write a whole fic revolving around a comment by an anti KFHDKSJWJEDK but i rly wasnt mad i was just genuinely inspired by what they said.

ANYWAYS! nonsensical 294820381002 word rant incoming from the “unbothered” grown woman.

seeing people say how gray is out of character in 100 yq/has stockholm syndrome are literally missing the entireeeee point of his and juvia’s relationship and its crazy!!

*side note, i think for the sake of helping gray’s character and development, they sacrificed a lot of cool things about juvia and a lot of her individuality which i do not like. but thats a rant for another time. btw do notttt even come for me bc she is literally still by far my fav character lmao*

im probably gonna go on for too long about this but gray’s whole fucking character throughout the whole story from beginning to end is centered around the fact that hes cold and closed off and grumpy and “too cool” and listen im not saying this is fucking rocket science or any type of transcendent literature by any means but i HAVE to point out that hes a fucking ice wizard. like. duh. im sure his character/personality was meant to go along with abilities i mean look at literally EVERYONE else in fairy tail.

ANYWAYS the reason he is this way is because he’s so used to losing all of the people he loves and even worse, hes used to so many people sacrificing themselves for him.

and it traumatizes him!! so many people hes been close to have died and he ultimately always thinks its his fault! lord knows im rusty with ft knowledge but his parents died (cant remember if it was in any type of sacrificial way teehee), Ur sacrifices herself for gray, ultear sacrifices herself for gray, and his dad dies AGAIN (once again, not sure if this was in a sacrificial manner lmao. i kindaaa think it was? maybe? shrug.). but POINT IS! theres a common theme of loved ones dying and/or sacrificing themselves for him. there might even be more people lmao idfk.

so what happens when he meets a girl who has an overwhelming and unwavering and infinite love for him?! he is freaked the fuck out!!! for a couple reasons! 1. he is so used to losing the people that love him and 2. he doesn’t even think hes deserving of any love to this degree!

then what happens? he PUSHES HER AWAY! KEEPS HER AT A DISTANCE!!!! because THATS ALL HE KNOWS!!!!!!!!! yes he has his friends who love him but no one has ever loved him in the way and abundance that JUVIA DOES! so he has to react appropriately! lots of love = lots of keeping her at an arms length!

so when he thinks he loses juvia in their fight with invel, and she comes back, dont we think it would make sense that he finally realizes he should accept his feelings for her? i mean remember when he said he promised her an answer AFTER the war? once again, like gray, pushing things off. and then he almost LOSES HER without ever telling her how he feels! so gray realizes life is short! theres no use in trying to deny ur feelings! these are common themes in like 85% of my gruvia drabbles lmao.

im not even saying that it was love at first sight for him and that gray liked her from the jump. bc i dont think thats true. i think we can finally see outward romantic feelings for juvia right after the tartaros arc, when juvia visits gray at his parents’ grave. but before that, i think juvia was a friend (wellll i feel like after the tenrou island arc he liked her more than a friend, but he didnt really realize how much more) who he cared about, and truly didnt know what to make of her because like i said, hes never known a person to love him so much and actually not die LMAO.

but my point is, juvia is the perfect person to be gray’s romantic partner. she is a person so full of love and so happy to love and she doesnt care who knows it. she is unequivocally herself and she wears her heart on her sleeve to the upmost extent.

it literally only makes sense for his character to end up with her!

u could argue gray doesnt need to end up with anyone at all bc he has his friendsssss and likeeee. sureee. fine. but what fun is that? i personally want to see the scared-of-love grump to find his person. i think, again, thats kind of the point of gray’s character- learning u are worthy of love, accepting love, and learning to love openly.

im sorry but literally what better happy ending for him than to be with juvia?

so fast forward to 100 yq, where he is just sooooo out of character apparently. dont we think that may actually be…. character development?

the boy who probably couldn’t even fathom a romantic relationship is now finally accepting he’s in love. he’s done pushing it off, he’s done denying, he’s done depriving himself of feeling love. thats a step in the right direction! now what? in true gray fashion, he thinks hes still not good enough! and that’s where we are now. he’s not confident, he thinks he’s weak, and he thinks he cant protect her. why? he knows she loves him. he knows he’s objectively a strong wizard. so why does he feel inadequate? CIRCLE BACK!!! TO WHO GRAY IS AS A PERSON!!!! SINCE DAY ONE!!! constantly in fear of losing his loved ones! thinking he can’t protect them! SCARED TO LOVE!

like im sorry the proof is soooo in the pudding and i totally understand if gruvia isn’t ur cup of tea but to say things arent making sense is silly to me! they actually make perfect sense!

and yknow what. im gonna go from a romantic standpoint to a realist standpoint. years ago, mashima said he likes gray and juvias dynamic and didnt have anything serious in mind for them anytime soon. so he kept that going for literally the entire series. well. he ended fairy tail alluding to the fact that gray and juvia were kinda together at that point. or he at least ended it with the pretty obvious conclusion that gray does in fact have feelings for juvia. so then when ft 100 yq starts what was he supposed to do? act like all of their development in the last arc never happened? that would be kinda hard to do!

whatever i just hope at least like 3 of these sentences were coherent lmao u guys get my point

[danibeanie]

Cancer mars post 🤍

(Also moon-mars aspects!)

-I really feel like this placement resonates the most with me when it comes to my natal chart. The funny thing is that it makes NO aspects with any other planets.

-I’ve heard somewhere that a planet that doesn’t make any aspects with other planets is important because it’s just itself with no other influences.

-wherever you have this placement with definitely influence that house x10. I feel like planets in their fall or detriment just impact your whole chart in general.

Positives 🩵

-your intuition is literally amped 100 by this placement. someone can be talking to me in a different tone than usual and I can just sense there’s something wrong and they’re like HOW DID U KNOW??😭

-emotions are strong and it’s because it’s influence links with the moon. we know that the moon is who we are deep within, our hidden feelings. anything I do makes me want to work even HARDER because it’s all sooo personal to me 🥲

-strong empathy with this placement you naturally put yourself into others people shoes, want to take care of others and it just comes by instinct.

-people many call you super nice and your just talking LMAO. I have this placement in my 3rd house which is ruled by communication so it’s just natural for me to embody the placement when I’m talk.

-ex you can have this in the 7th house and your just super giving into any relationships kinda intense lol, 10th house people at work may see you as mother😋 (kidding) a nurturing person.

-a lot of passion, many people forget that cancer mars is a CARDINAL sign which means it’s easy for these people to fall into a leader position. we are go getters and can be a bit competitive.

Negatives🩶

-any conflict that we have is literally the end of the world. It’s feels like impending doom when I’m mad at someone because the only way I can control this is by crying 😭

- we hold grudges *sigh* , no but really it will take me so long to forgive someone and it’s hard to let go of that bitterness. Its just that we are so considerate so when someone does something we would never do it’s hard to let go of that situation.

-mood swings are there and other people can easily get affected by this as well. we can be fine and dandy then we think about something that hurt us from 5 months ago and then we get passive.

^im very self aware of this and I try not to let it happen and when it does I isolate myself

-most of our anger is directed towards family???😭 idk if it’s just me but my family tends to see the ugly side of this placement. no one’s ever seen me SUPER-mad except for my parents.

-does anyone else get HORRIBLE,UNBEARABLE periods?!? I feel like no one talks about this.

-AVOID CONFRONTATION like no other and then we wonder why we hold grudges cause WE DONT TALK IT OUT LMAO.

-it’s easy to get drained of tasks that your not emotionally invested in or see no future in. I can make a whole rant on how this affects my school life but that’s too much.*sigh*

Influential musicians 🩵

chester bennington(lead singer of linkin park) also had a cancer mars.(may he rest in peace🤍) A lot of rock and heavy metal musicians have cancer mars which is ironic because they put all that passion and emotion into their lyrics and singing.

-lana del rey is a cancer mars and I feel like she embodies this placement fully. even by her lyrics and just the way she talks.

IN CONCLUSION 🩵

-being a cancer mars has its ups and down and so many people pertain to its negatives. I believe that people with the fallen/detriment placements all naturally have their positives as well. it’s definitely a placement you have to live and learn by. I love this placement because it humbles me, gives me empathy and kindness ,but don’t cross us cause then we’ll reciprocate that rudeness 10x harder.

[trohpi]

rating regulus black ships!!

jegulus | 11/10 - i love them so much. when i rejoined the fandom in 2022 and saw how the ship had blown up in the years id been gone i was really confused, but then i read just lovers and was immediately convinced lmao. they are the epitome of sunshine x grumpy and i adore them both

bartylus | 5/10 - theyre not very compelling to me, but theyre not bad by any means. i think they work better as friends but i understand why people ship them. i just prefer other ships personally, but ive read many great fics with them too!

jegulily | 20/10 - im obsessed with them. i love regulus, james, and lily separately, but together they balance each other out. plus it helps that its a combination of my two most favorite monoamorous ships (jegulus and regulily), like whats not to like? theyre definitely a top tier ship

moonwater | 10/10 - they are so cute and so overhated! theres so much potential here, like they could be friends to lovers or enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers, basically any trope you can think of lol. and think of the angst! the drama! i love them dearly

regulily | 1000/10 - yall already know how i feel about these two! they are literal soulmates and i love them to bits. their personalities mesh so well and, this might be a controversial take, but they make more canonical sense than jegulus does imo (not that canon really matters in this fandom lmao). i could wax literal poetry about this ship i love them so much

rosewater | 6/10 - i have other ships i prefer for both of them but theyre still cute and i can see why people ship them. honestly its a similar situation to bartylus, except they intrigue me just the slightest bit more lol

regumary | 4/10 - im sorry i just cant see this ship. i can see their relationship being platonic but not romantic. i also think mary is a lesbian, which doesnt really mean much considering i also love the trans girl regulus headcanon, but most of the time when i see this ship its very cishet and just not my thing. sorry yall!

regdora | 2/10 - i just cant see this ship either. its not bad necessarily, i just see the relationship between regulus and pandora as that of a sibling relationship. no hate to people who ship them, its just not for me lol

rosestarkillerchaser | 6/10 - i understand why people ship them, its combining three popular ships (jegulus, bartylus, and rosekiller), but im sorry i just cannot see james dating barty and evan. im not hating on people who ship them and its not bad by any means (i like them more than most other ships involving evan & barty) i just dont actively ship them. ive read some good fics tho!

rosestarkiller | 5/10 - similar situation to bartylus yet again, its just not compelling to me. i think regulus works better with evan & barty as his friends rather than lovers which you can probably tell given my other ratings lol

blackeclipse | 10/10 - ooooo i love them. all the best aspects of jegulus, moonchaser, and moonwater in one, its elite. james brings the buoyancy that regulus & remus need while regulus & remus help keep him tethered. they work so well together and i love them all dearly

xenoreg | 8/10 - a crackship ive come to enjoy recently! definitely a weird x weirder kind of ship which is the best. oh to be a fly on the wall of the slytherin common room when regulus told barty, evan, and dorcas that he was dating xenophilius lestrange, ravenclaws resident conspiracy theorist (pandora, of course, would have been overjoyed to have someone to trade ideas with)

regulene | 7/10 - they intrigue me tbh, like marlenes brashness and regulus’ coldness contrast in just the right ways. theyre like fire and water and i love that. plus the potential for a quidditch rivalry is phenomenal, especially considering that they could both be the seekers for their respective teams. theyre kinda similar to dorlene imo

regulilylene | 9/10 - im gonna be honest here i think i made this ship up, but i really like their dynamic. marlene and regulus are on the opposite extremes of hot and cold and lilys right there in the middle to keep them grounded, she evens them out

[inamagicalhallucination]

i love this so much

becuz on one hand it looks like atsushi is the light breaking apart the otherwise darkness oozing out of akutagawa

like we all know akutagawa's design is super sexy becuz he was specifically designed to blend into the dark - becuz he's a character so much surrounded by darkness (it's why his little bug eyes dont have any light in them) but here, he's not completely dark, becuz look, atsushi is coming in w/ the contrast

and atsushi in general serves as a figure of light for akutagawa not becuz he can "use" atsushi to prove himself to dazai, like akutagawa initially thought - but simply becuz atsushi has become something for akutagawa, whether he'll admit to it or not

not even from a shipping lens - atsushi is just something to akutagawa - something worth dying for

this pic is also similar to how he stops being an all encompassing drenched in darkness figure when he gives rashomon to atsushi

look at how they switch

/

and on the other hand it looks like akutagawa is the force protecting atsushi and his light (becuz the coat melts into the ground)

now we know atsushi isn't a fully white/light character becuz no one is realistically all good or all bad (also if we're looking at it through just chracter design, then the character who pops up in my head as predominantly colored white is shibusawa and he's a piece of shit)

anyway

atsushi is relatively balanced (not developed fully into what all the characters are reaching for - a balance of their "good" and "bad" sides becuz we all know atsushi still has a way to go) but atsushi is a character who aims to do the "right" thing (though occasionally for selfish reasons) and often times becomes the "light" figure for other characters (kyouka for example) but he himself is held back becuz of his past and his inability to move on (i dont blame him tho becuz his "past" was like a few months ago for him lmao)

atsushi needs to make peace and understand his own "dark" side before he can ever develop

when atsushi wears rashomon

he becomes a predominantly, in terms of design, dark/black character - which i think is on purpose becuz one thing akutagawa gives him is assurance that the past is just the past (in his own mean akutagawa way) and atsushi isn't really a character who we see deal with his past (king of trauma dumping but never actually talking about his past)

of course this is the edited version from the @akutagawa-daily account but the og pic

is still like that

i feel like i could add something about dazai being there but it might be a reach so

sorry this is ramble-y and doesn't make sense but i had to get it off my chest

maybe one day i'll rewrite this in a way where you can tell what im saying (i will not)

saying dark side so many times made me feel like a 2012 emo kid aslfkdjf

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

oy yoo joonghyuk, your looking kinda rough there. you good blud?

ok i really like this because i feel like previously the comic had an issue with making me care about yjh regressions. like theyd say they happened but didnt show it in a way that made me actually care but like with this now i understand and i can care about the pain his character went through more rather than just 'oh yeah the regressions happened hes sad about that but your not gonna get to see why and any of the pain he went through'

WHAT FHE FUCK WHY DOES IT HAVE A MOUTH. WHAT FHE HELL NKOOOOOO I DONT LIKE THIS

oh gohd. i. i dont like this.

YEAH. YA SHOULDVE. ok so i didnt take screenshots for a while but i think its really funny she got eaten. i dont like her. i know she tried her best and was going through a tough time but when your a parent trying your best isnt enough. you are raising a human being obviously your not going to be perfect but being a bad parent and trying to excuse it with 'i tried my best' is crazy. any other situation trying your best will always be enough because thats all you can do but a parent should do more than their best. i just. ugh. i think shes a very interesting and compelling character and a very realistic and human one at that but if she was real id want to fist fight her.

YAH KILL HIS ASS. her only saving grace in my eyes. the only thing ill ever say she did right. but then she went and put dokjas traumatic childhood on blast to the whole world while he was still a kid without his permission so i still dont like her 😋

honestly outside of writing the book and not getting dokja away from the abuse eairlier she was actually an amazing mom, she taught him many important things and even here always taught him the right lesson. BUT WHY THE FUCK YOU WRITE THAT DAMN BOOK-

also she basically abandoned him in a sense so hate her for that too ✌️

WHAT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS. ok most big twists i was already spoiled for but- ARE YOU TELLING ME DOKJA WAS THE ONE TO ACTUALLY KILL HIM?!??!!? OHHHHHH OH MY GOD. ok thats gonna fuck up his psyche to remember that but good for him yes kill that dude. also more points for her your slightly less of a shitty mom in my eyes you took the fall for him thats wonderful thats good parenting there (not the murder the being willing to take the fall in this situation)

thats actually insane because that means there was a reason behind the book. the book was to make sure no one ever thought it was dokja. i mean i dont think anyone wouldve suspected that so still she prob didnt need to write it but. THAT MEANS THERE WAS A REASON FOR THE BOOK. MY WHOLE ARGUMENT HAS BEEN THROWN OUT THE WINDOW I LOVE BEING PROVEN WRONG OHHH THIS IS AMAZING AND CRAZY. i still have my annoyances with her parenting but like. +50 parent points for this you go girl AND YOU GO DOKJA MURDER HIS ASS

oh. LMAO. DUMB ASS WAY TO DIE FUCKER. HAHAHAH DOKJA DIDNT EVEN MURDER HIM THIS DUMBASS SLIPPED AND FELL ONTO THE KNIFE AS DOKJA WAS HOLDING IT LMAOOOOOOOOOO THATS SO HILARIOUS. FUCKING IDIOT. so neither of them actually killed him thats hilarious thats so fucking funny pathetic death for a pathetic man.

ok but objectively letting him die was the good choice. like. mf deserved it.

[ckret2]

3rd times the charm (writing this i lost what i wrote 2 times already) questions/related for/to goldilocks bill 

1 is mabel adhd and or some neurodivergent cuz of hw/grade thoughts/feeling /comments made/referenced and was this me being delusional/implied and will only be implied in the story/foreshadow something or just 

2 can bill hid his cycle long term and who restocks mables pads cuz if its her what does she think of a huge chunk going missing and if not how long and with mable in ca and melody maybe moving out what would he do what are his thoughts on having to ask for menstrual products like asking would be humiliating on a scale of 1 to 10 who would he ask most to least likely what beliefs/knowledge/feeling do the other characters have on periods 

3 would he have any thoughts/preference on different menstrual products like pads/tampons/cups/other items i don't know or it the theme/art the only difference 

4 sorry if this is gross (S&P would never approve) but would bill if he had period blood at the time gone for round 3 of battle of hygiene used the period blood like his stink and the sink incident as bargaining/negotiations chips for something cuz i hate how messy period blood is in my experience and just experience with so many peoiple being so repulsed by it (would he possibly think its funny like blood haha and the blood clots like slipe)

5 why did he get one so soon like his body is 2 weeks old ( i think i'm bad with time(time is and illusion anyway)) but anxiety, depression, sudden weight loss/gain, being under/over weight, extreme exercise, and poor nutrition are some of the relevant things that can make you miss your period and bills got oodles of poor nutrition depression anxiety and maybe (going on only sooses comment so far) sudden weight loss (for me just eating 2 to 1 meals (1 school lunch the other fast food) a day for a long time meant i didn't get a period for like 6 months) but is it the fact it's so new and axolotl set to easy thats he got one (also i don't mean to be rude i have no knowledge of what you do/dont know about periods and stuff)

6 for the kryptos gang Maybe when the accident happens bill rips holes in the dimension of accident and only they are lucky/unlucky enough to fall and get translated though not knowing it was bill and not in bills view/doesn't know/thinks that killed them? And end up stranded in an extremely unknown place worried about the shit going down in the dimension and latter get rumors it was destroyed and they grieve But that way bill is  alone in the aftermath and people spread no survivors present and these shapes are standed  he meets/collects them that way he can promise them something better would them not knowing erase or amplify the guilt or would them know bill did it make more sense sorry if this is bad i know that i don't articulate myself well disclaimer i have not read the book of bill (im :,( broke rn).i have seen some of the website but would this work with cannon and your story i also don't know how the dimension stuff would go would they up or down a dimension maybe the axolotl translated them cuz reason idk or bill accidently did it when the holes ripped open

god that's a lot of text to lose twice I'm so sorry lmao

1. Yes, I write Mabel as ADHD. I don't know if it will ever be directly stated in the fic, primarily because I doubt she's gonna get a diagnosis; but I'm drawing on the experiences of family, friends, & myself to write her.

2. Mabel thinks "hmmm... I used those a lot faster than I expected... but I've been using these less than a year, maybe I just don't have a good sense of how fast I use them yet."

Bill wouldn't consider asking for them any more or less humiliating than having to ask his captors for food access, shower access, or sunlight access. He has no taboos or shame associated with bleeding out of a hole for most of a week, being ashamed of that is a human cultural thing; but he is consistently humiliated by needing to ask his captors to please let him have the basic resources he needs for his stupid body maintenance.

But remember he just got a room with a fridge and permission from Soos to stick whatever he wants on the household grocery list. He doesn't need to specifically ask his captors for period supplies. He can just... put it on the grocery list. Now it's Soos's problem. Maybe Abuelita's, I feel like she might prefer to do the shopping if it's not too strenuous for her yet.

3. Tampons can kill you so Bill thinks humans are pretty dumb to use them. He doesn't much care beyond that. He's used exactly one product.

4. I can't think of a reason he wouldn't but I'm not interested in exploring weaponized hygiene more than I already have.

5. He's been in his body over five weeks. He got the one period he's had so far almost 4 weeks in, giving him a cycle only slightly longer than average. (Even if he HAD gotten one two weeks in—how do you know his body wasn't just created already halfway through a cycle?) He's had a shit month but he started off in good enough health for it not to immediately matter and the shittiest most physically & mentally grueling part of the month (the eclipse + execution) came after he'd bled.

6. begs a lot of questions—"how" "why them" "where were they" "why didn't Bill find out sooner" "why DID he find out". Doesn't feel airtight enough to me. Plus, I already know EXACTLY how Bill's dimension is destroyed, and random rips in the dimension aren't part of it.

[its-the-sa]

Different anon. God just boiling down the slugcats to 'animals' angers me in a way I didn't think I could be angry. Yes, they are animals, but by all means they are cognitive and understand complex emotions, communicate with a supposedly complex language, are able to be taught to do things. Why else would the iterators use them as messengers constantly? It's not like they're messenger pigeons where it's just going from point A to point B, they understand exact instructions. If this was just some random animal, making groans and grunts, they wouldn't be able to understand what Five Pebbles even meant when he was explaining how to ascend. Even with the mark, could you imagine if he told a lizard this? Artificer, arguably, is a prime example of this. Just an animal would get over their fallen children, sure they'd grieve but in the end they'd just make more. Arti not only is so enraged by their death, that she is physically incapable of ascension, but also swears vengeance upon a whole other species. This isn't just some animal who lost her children, this is a mother who is enraged at her children's murder. Sure, they aren't on the same level as humans are. Like obviously. But I'd argue it makes sense that a scavenger and a slugcat could fall down the path of enemies to lovers. Especially when you consider the fact that death isn't permanent in Rain World's universe. That would definitely change one's perspective on it. I dunno if I make sense, I'm juggling like three things at once, but I had to say what I needed to say. Wording bad, slugcat smort.

tbh it took me a minute to figure out what this was even referring to, because honestly I don't think that anon meant to use the word 'animal' to dehumanize arti in the first place. it sounded to me like they were just using it as a non-human equivalent for 'person', like "why would anyone fall for a person who committed hate crimes against them?" which is a valid question. it never even occurred to me that they could have meant it in the sense of calling her an inferior creature.

that said... you ARE 100% right and you should say it, lmao.

I very nearly got into this exact argument once, bc i saw some comments from a guy scoffing at the idea of arti showing mercy to baby scavs. because by his logic, 'she is just an animal, so she isn't bound by human morality. in the wild, animals kill any young that don't belong to them without hesitation'. and it just pissed me off so much, because not only was it such an edgy "mercy is for the WEAK!" alpha-male bullshit take, it was also just factually wrong. many animals can and do adopt the young of other animals, even other species, especially when they've just lost their own. and like you said, they can grieve, but then they move on. they keep surviving, and making more babies. they don't dwell on injustice, or let rage consume them to the point that it becomes a hindrance to their own survival. they don't go on single-minded revenge quests. they dont try to justify their own violence by demonizing entire species, and they dont end up plagued by guilt in their sleep. those are very, very human things.

and yeah, i see a lot of people theorize that it's the mark of communication that grants the slugcats higher intelligence, but I don't really buy that either. i think the mark just lets them understand the iterator's language. they must've already had the capacity to understand it, or else it wouldn't work at all. it'd be like trying to install windows on a calculator. also, even without the mark, slugcats are obviously shown to communicate with each other. they have their own culture, they tell stories and make art, and they're apparently able to understand karma and the nature of the cycle at least enough to be able to ascend. so like... any creature thats capable of spiritual enlightenment must at least be sapient, right??

it seems like in the absence of the ancients, both slugcats and scavs are beginning to move in to their niche in the ecosystem

[sphaxcca]

My Candy Love New Gen Ep. 3 Review

Okaaaaaay so since this is my first post on here: Hi there! guess who's gonna give her unasked opinion about her Playthrough of My Candy Love New Gen? ME! ofc.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

So i've finished playing the episode and honestly i'm starting to wonder how the plot is gonna develop during the story.

Until now ce can't really say that the story is growing but, I mean, it's completely fine because these are the first episode so it's pretty normal that there's basically nothing but just a presentation of the character and a little peak of their routes.

The episode was pretty chill and cute for some point of view, but my only doubt is about the speed of the storytelling, i really hope that with new episode the story's gonna grow in speed or in lenght of episodes because, for how is it now, it's gonna take forever to make a real "change" in the plot (especially for Jason's route candies like me) The idea of the welcome party was EXTREMELY cute also the "preparation" part was okay;

Amanda not partecipating at the party because Candy didn't choose the park had me turn up my nose honestly, but by the way she reacted the all time, i could have guessed it. She gives me a little bit of snooty vibes but i guess it's just the shell of the character.

ELENDA. oh my ELENDA. I hope with my whole heart that she's gonna be the new Rosalya because i need it. I genueine need a ray of sunshine like her in my candy's life when she's gonna sleep with the rival agency's boss :PPPPPP (The truth or dare part XD had me DEAD, i mean come on guys, you're almost 30 and you need a TRUTH or DARE game to break the ice? LMAO. )

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS.

ROY. Can someone explain to me? Please don't tell me that the dare that he should have done was to kiss Candy and, because is dating Brune, he turned candy's head to kiss her on the check. Please don't tell me or imma GASP. At first i thought he was going to be the gym bro not interested in any dating or in date many girls at the same time, BUT THIS. BRUH unexpected. So i guess Candy in thi s case have to be Eric 2.0 of new gen. Love it. Let's sleep with another taken man!

DEVON. So I Honestly don't know what to say about him for now because i can't really say what's gonna be the issue with him. I Just really hope is not gonna be like Hyun route ( a full of nothing) because the character seems really cute, so please beemoov give us some tea or a plot twist. Something that happened in the episode that made me actually turn my head the screen was Candy saying (if you go to him at the Mall) "It seems that he doesn't want to be the Ceo" Maybe this is going to be the route?

THOMAS. I honestly love him and i feel like his entire route is gonna be Candy tries to make him understand what is to date someone. I also have a feeling (which would make totally sense) that Thomas is either authistic or he's part of that percentual of the populations that has an IQ higher that the others. L O V E I T TBH and it's a shame that i hvae to play two time the episodes because the outfit it's not the same for jason's route.

AMANDA Snooty on the outside but a marshmallow on the inside, i'm so sure of this. My guess here is that, girl's rich ass didn't say anything to her family that she likes girls. I just really hope is not the sme thing that happened with Priya because players dont wanna play things two times.

JASON. At last but not least, the enemies to lovers we didn't know we needed. what can I say? I have a huge love for Men who are so incure of themselfs that they put up this gigantic EGO (and not Confidence) to try to hide their real self. This going to be and Astarion (Bg3) route 2.0, I'M HERE FOR IT. Btw i'm pretty sure he seduced Danica to make her leave Devenementiel, this B, love him. At least he's not taken Candies....

what do you think? <3

-Sph

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

can maybe do one w the riven where reader is sky's little sister (so obviously off limits... right?!) and riven starts bickering w her w his usual snark and when she replies with equal snark he's stunned/in awe like yep, she's the one

absolutely I can. I have so many drabbles where the reader is sky's sibling omg! I mean it's amazing I'm not complaining, but y'all really seem to see him as a good brother figure

um. this is long. like really long. lmao (for a drabble ofc. idk if it'd deserve the title oneshot tho)

ALSO!!!!! MENTIONS OF GIVING HEAD. LIKE. EXPLICITLY. NO SMUT I DONT WRITE SMUT BUT WE ALL KNOW RIVEN

"Cig?"

Riven held his cigarette out to you with one hand, the pack in his other. You looked up at him from where you sat cross-legged on the ground opposite him and raised your eyebrows.

"Cig?", you mocked. "So that I can get lung cancer and die? No, thank you."

Riven laughed, put the pack away and lit his cigarette anyway. Admittedly, it was attractive, yes. But still very very bad for his health and he should definitely have stopped doing it long ago.

God, even when he'd come over for the breaks, he'd been smoking like all the time. So this conversation wasn't rare. Back then, you'd at least forced him to smoke outside, not in the house. Which had kind of worked.

"You won't die from one cigarette", he said, grinning at you.

"One of us is definitely gonna die though if you don't stop offering your goddamn cigarettes to me", you snapped, scrunching up your nose. "And it'd be nice if you just stopped smoking in close proximity to me, like, at all."

Riven rolled his eyes and leaned forward, elbows on his thighs, to get on the same level as you. This, if possible, was even more infuriating than his smoking. Because he was generally taller than you. And always did it. He always, always, always leaned down - you would have said he had some problem if you didn't know very well why he did it.

Because the first time he had leaned down - god, the very first time you'd seen him, standing there in the doorway next to Sky in his leather jacket, a cigarette in one hand and his bag in the other - you had forgotten what you'd wanted to say to him about his annoying habit of smoking. Actually, you'd forgotten how speaking worked entirely, and breathing right along with it, and you'd swallowed so hard and gone so weak in the knees that you'd almost tripped.

Now he wouldn't let you live that down. Ever.

"Why?", he grinned, interrupting your thoughts, bringing you back to the present (of him hovering close to you, as always). "You wanna kill me?"

"Or myself", you snorted, shoving all your feelings deep down. You would definitely rather kill yourself than admit any of the things you felt. Or what you imagined whenever you looked at him. He was your brother's best friend, god! Someone help you.

"Anyway", you said, clearing your throat and deciding then and there that you'd just ignore him glancing down at your lips for the rest of eternity instead of commenting on it like you usually had. Just that usually Sky was in the room as well, which made it much, much easier to hide your obvious attraction to this asshole. "Where's Sissy? I thought he said he was gonna come back 'in a second'?"

Riven laughed and shook his head slightly, only to lean forward even more. You had to will yourself to keep staring into his eyes.

"We should make the best of the time he's gone", he said, glancing down at your lips as you gritted your teeth.

"Riven", you said warningly.

It wasn't that he hadn't tried flirting before. He had. Often. Like, every time he had seen you. At first, it had seemed like he'd just wanted to piss off Sky (which, obviously, had worked), but by now he did it whenever you were alone, too. Which somehow, coincidentally, happened more often the longer you knew him. Of course it had made sense, at first, because you'd started Alfea, but after a while, it had become almost comical. Not that you didn't like spending time with him though.

"What?", he asked, pretending he didn't know what you were talking about.

"Riven", you said again, - sadly - already much softer. Dear lord, why couldn't you pull yourself together?

"Yeah?"

You bit the insides of your cheek and closed your eyes. Could he be any more obvious? It had become so irritably obvious over the last week that you almost felt embarrassed. Sky'd noticed too. Of course

"Riv, don't", you whispered. At this point he'd learned forward as far as he could without falling off the edge of his bed, but he was already close enough so that if you just moved a bit, you could kiss him.

You didn't particularly know why you didn't.

Because he was Sky's best friend? Because he was an asshole? Because he smoked? Because.... oh, you didn't know. Maybe all of it. Maybe none. Maybe you were just scared that this was a game to him, as everything was, just to piss Sky off, or just to be able to say he won. Maybe you were scared, yes.

"Your brother won't come back for another hour", Riven muttered, as if to coax you into finally giving in. You were close to. But that had nothing to do with what he said.

"Another hour?", you asked, frowning and opening your eyes again.

Riven must've realised that he'd killed the mood because he just sighed and fell back down on his bed. You were somehow both relieved and upset that he did.

"Look at your phone", he grunted, having gone back to smoking. You rolled your eyes but said nothing, only fished your phone from the bed behind you and unlocked it.

Sky had texted. He'd run into Bloom and would drive with her to your house, to get some old book.

Cool. So you'd waited here for him for nothing.

"Ass", you muttered and threw away the phone. You didn't have anything else to do anyway. So you just watched Riven smoke for a while.

Maybe you should just go and open the window. Maybe-

"I know I'm hot, but there's no need to stare", Riven said after a minute (which almost had you flinching, that's how immersed in your thoughts and watching him you'd been).

"I wasn't staring, you bastard", you argued, grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

"No?", he laughed, easily blocking your halfhearted attack.

"No. I just so... happened to be looking at you while I was zoned out. Idiot."

He put out his cigarette in the ashtray on his bedside table while you watched him with crossed arms, debating why you had not already left and pretending it was because there was nowhere you needed to be.

"Yeah?", he laughed. "And what were you thinking about? How good I looked?"

You snorted again. Not that it hadn't been like that, god, and how you had been thinking about that. But what were you gonna say? Yes? Definitely not. Sadly, just continuing to say no didn't work with Riven. He wouldn't let it go. So you sighed.

"How it'd feel to run my hands through your hair while you're eating me out", you said instead, trying your best to sound disinterested, not even looking at him.

He let out a breathy chuckle in surprise. You could barely conceal a grin. What was it again, that saying - honesty's the best lie? Something like that.

It wasn't even that you particularly had meant to say it. But with his constant jabbing and bickering and flirting, a retort like that had been looooong overdue.

"Were you?", Riven asked, grin apparent. You rolled your eyes at him.

"Of course not, dipshit", you snorted. "Like I'd ever let you eat me out."

He shook his head as he got out his pack of cigarettes, pulled one out and lit it.

"You should", he said, new smoke filling the room. Your nose scrunched up almost involuntarily. God, how many of those did he smoke in a day? Where did he even get the money? "I've been told I'm the best."

You rolled your eyes and finally got up, deciding you'd had enough of him for today.

"Sure", you said sarcastically. "And I've been told I'm the pope and just won the lottery. Get a new line."

You'd turned around, away from him, to collect your phone and your jacket from Sky's bed, and when you turned back, he'd stood up as well, pulling you close with his hands on your hips before you could even let out a sound of surprise. His lips were so close to yours that your gaze flickered down at them almost immediately. If you'd had the mental capacity, you would've scolded yourself.

"I could show you", he muttered, that damned grin on his face. You swallowed. And then again. And forced yourself to look into his eyes.

"Another time, maybe", you whispered, trying your hardest to make it sound ironic.

Riven leaned so far down that you could feel his breath on your skin. His fingers were digging into your hips firmly, but you were well aware that you could have moved. If you'd wanted to. Which you did not.

"Really?", he asked. "Now seems like the perfect time."

You closed your eyes as you tried to pick up the little pieces your mind had shattered into and puzzle them back together so that you could form a coherent sentence.

"Riv, we shouldn't", you whispered (it was the only thing you could think of).

"Why not?", he muttered. "Because you're Sky's little sister?"

You chuckled.

"That too."

For a second, he was silent. You dared to open your eyes again. He looked like he was searching your face for an indication of something.

"What else?", he asked, frowning.

You bit your lip. You weren't really going to tell him all the reasons why. You couldn't. How pathetic would it be if you started rambling about how you didn't think he was actually into you? God.

"Riv", you said instead, and trailed off. You just didn't know. You didn't know what to tell him.

"What else?", he repeated, now a little more forcefully. His fingertips digged harder into your hips. You took a deep breath.

No getting out now, was there?

"I just... It feels like you're not actually interested in me, you know? I'm scared you'll kiss me and I'll fall hopelessly in love with you while you move on with the next foolish idiot."

Here - your shovel, have fun starting to dig your own grave!

There should really be an advertisement that sold shovels like that.

Riven was so quiet for so long that you started worrying he'd somehow malfunctioned and turned off like a robot. Maybe the fact he hadn't yet dropped dead from all his cigarettes should have indicated that he actually was a robot.

Then he said your name, quietly, softly, almost, taking your chin in one hand and forcing you to look into his eyes again.

"I fucking despise those declarations of love", he said, somehow not sounding like he despised anything at all at the moment. "But you're basically forcing me to say it, so-" He took a deep breath. "You're not some game, okay? You're... I mean, you're funny, and you're stubborn, and you always have some retort to what I say. You're adorable when you try to resist getting close to me, like when your cheeks get red and your eyes blown wide like fucking Bambi. You're perfect, I just-"

He hadn't even finished when you'd suddenly leaned forward, surprising even yourself, and pressed your lips onto his.

He tasted of smoke. Which was disgusting. And if he wanted to kiss you in the future, he'd have to lay off the cigarettes, but for now, it was perfect. He was perfect.

"Riv", you muttered when you pulled back. He opened his eyes with a grunt. "Riv. If you compare me to Bambi one more time, I swear I'll drop you quicker than you can apologise."

Riven laughed, took one of his hands from your hips and put the cigarette back in between his lips. You raised your eyebrows. You hadn't even realised he'd still been holding it.

"Whatever you say, Bambi."

[cazuela-time]

Ok so I've been having a sexuality crisis now that i got a boyfriend and got to experience stuff with a guy. I thought about it a lot and i reached the conclusion that a) i like him platonically, and b) I'm probably a lesbian. and i was super sure about it today but i saw the quiet place movie a few hours ago and i love male characters that are so wet and pathetic - but like, in a cat kinda way?? Like i would kiss them but in the same sense i would kiss my cat for being cute. Not in a particularly romantic sense but i do think that they're very cute?

Anyway i was thinking that and being like shit maybe im not actually gay if i like these male characters - i obviously like their personalities and shiet but the thing that makes me really like em is their look

By look i mean wet and pathetic, bloodied or fucked up in some sense, tired and nerdy looking (eric from quiet place, newt from pacific rim,etc) and then i has a small thought non thought? Like i thought it but it caught me by surprise, because for a second i was like "i wish i was him" and the thing is im non binary in the sense that i dont percieve my gender - HAVE I JUST WANTED TO LOOK LIKE THEM THIS WHOLE TIME ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THAT IT?? I WANTED TO STEAL THEIR GENDER PRESENTATION?

Im being so fr i always thought they were cute and so i assumed it was attraction. Did i confuse gender envy with attraction?? I am having a crisis.

WHAT EVEN IS ATTRACTION IM SO CONFUSED.

Like, i like how these brand of fictional guy look - their personalities and aesthetic are very appealing to me and sometimes i like them to the point of wanting to put them in my pocket and like, squeeze them like a little stress ball.

And if i think about real guys in my life, ive liked 3 guys -

first one i have absolutely no recollection but my mum said i had a crush so whatever (also fun fact a lil boy tried to kiss me as a toddler and apparently i wanted to NOT so bad that i got a head injury by banging my head on furniture while backing up FAST lol).

Second was in elementary and we were friends. I dont remember liking him before i asked who he liked to make conversation but i remember i thought he implied he liked me and i liked him from there on (which was like two hours lol) and later when he admited it was another girl i felt heartbroken but i immediately got over it lmao.

And last was in high school - we were becoming fast friends and i liked him a lot, but when i thought about like kissing him and stuff i got this nervous feeling like it was wrong somehow. Also i chose a guy to like in middle school but i dont count that one.

To me, all these seem very shallow? But i dont know if thats normal or if im remembering wrong or remembering what i want to remember or what.

But if i think ab it, i could never have sex with them i think. And this applies to all men ive met too - If i imagine it the whole thing feels cold,,,like detached? Like i guess it'd be fine and we would be closer as a result (like, to bond?) But i dont think it'd be particularly fun?

THEN IF I COMPARE IT TO WOMEN i dont really like many female characters? Like I'm struggling to think of any i really really like besides Grace from ready or not and Pearl from pearl (and Maxine from x and Amber from Scream - the blood thing and that they can kill is cool ngl) and while I've thought about a friend like "i wish we could be together forever" type of thing, ive never had a crush on a girl -

But if i think about sex, if i picture it with a girl, it seems warm. Like it'd be very peaceful and like joyful? Like it would be fun. But its similar to when i think of it with men: it has no passion? Is that wrong? Am i not supposed to be passionate about it?

The hardest part is that i can't figure it out because I DONT FEEL ANYTHING?? WITH ANYONE???? PEOPLE TELL ME THEY LOOK AT CERTAIN PPL AND THEY THINK "oh yeah i wanna fuck and kiss that person" and im like WHAT??? IVE NEVER IN MY LIFE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??? i look at people and im like, yes, thats a person who is good looking, but nothing else?????

Like, i read and love nagata kabi's works and she has this part about how she and other people have a lust thing? And i looked at that and was so confused because I've never felt anything like that - bit i related to a lot of things she says. So maybe I'm asexual?? Or demisexual???

So yeah, im confused as fuck.

I somehow feel like I'm a lesbian (i literally made a huge list detailing every sapphic occurrence in my life, like for example the fact that my one and only "sex dream" was about a blonde girl in a bathtub) but i also kinda feel like what if I'm wrong? What if I'm lying to myself and I'm actually straight or bisexual?

[atrophiedemotion]

hey Cast! uh so this ask is about. alien stage. but imma send you another about some random shit because why not. anyways

the tags that you had on that previous post with me and plip (the one about ivan and till and how they show honesty differently and how we know about their characters a different amount because of how forthcoming or not they are) and my question for you is, how many of Ivan's actions do you think are representative of his true emotions? I don't think his body language, in general, is very forthcoming but I do agree that his actions can be pretty revealing (he strikes me as an acts of service person especially with trying to escape with Till) but uh yeah I'm wondering if there are any specific examples that you think of as being revealing of his actual thoughts or specific examples of him pretending to be someone else?

thanks for listening to me yap uh I hope you're doing well and that you have an awesome day!

rock... oh boy... this is gonna be a long one. wonderful question. thank you for the ask, i hope you have a great day as well!!

so, i didn't fully explain in the tags because i didn't want to write a full length essay on plip's post (ty plip for dealing w the rambling)(i was also very tired so i wasn't fully articulate lmao) but i meant that ivan shows his emotions through the outcomes/projected outcomes of his actions. he certainly isn't very forthcoming in the way he acts and portrays himself, but there is undeniable truth in the intent and meaning behind everything he does, even things that seem counterproductive.

i think that since ivan genuinely cannot fully be upfront and honest (due to trauma, his lack of self worth, and his decided survival strategy) his main truths show in the deeper meaning of the things he does for other people and himself. with ivan, it is all about intent. i've said before that the only way to understand ivan is to dig deeper and this is very much true here. he uses a lot of subterfuge to throw people off from his actual intentions, but they're there.

ivan often uses unconventional, roundabout ways to achieve his goals/get what he wants- especially when they mean something to him. he is a guy who is caked in layers upon layers of meaning only if you pull back the acres of curtains he's covered them with. he doesn't want people to know what goes on in his head, so he covers it up valiantly. this is due to his low self esteem of course, but also full on survival. in order for his plans to work, no one can be in on it. no one can know what he's thinking. all of his true feelings and thoughts need to be hidden in order to achieve success, but in the end it's fucking hard to not leave a trace of your true feelings.

with all that being said, examples!

the biggest and most obvious examples are mainly related to till (of course they are) and i also feel like they're the most telling. ivan's teachers specifically pointed out that he was only childish around till (they were relieved by it, too, because he was so damn serious the rest of the time and didn't behave like a child should). ivan has the hardest time hiding his true emotions around till, which makes sense, because till makes him feel the most emotion when his are always dulled. that doesn't stop him from going the 'i must hide my crush by pulling his pigtails' route but, y'know.

since most of these are talked about frequently and i dont want to keep beating a dead horse in an already long post, here's a (hopefully) brief list:

-the biggest one, the meteor shower. going through all of that to escape with till, specifically during a meteor shower that it seemed ivan was desperate to show till (to introduce his shooting stars to each other or smth im sure). ivan offered till freedom and denied himself of it when till turned around and he followed him back without question.

-his good behavior can arguably be considered to be due, in part, to the perks an obedient pet gets. this isn't just a till thing but ivan's obedience is very telling of his need and drive for survival, which considering his uhh,, track record is likely largely so he can protect till. gaining perks and learning insider information, like how to take collars off and gain access to isolation cells, assist him in assisting and caring for till.

-the sometimes silent companionship they share. the way ivan will poke at him to get his outright attention but is still at times satisfied with just existing in till's space and enjoying his presence says a lot about his genuine adoration and admiration of till

-his sacrifice. i don't think i need to say much about this as it's pretty self explanatory lmao but it is a Great example of what im trying to convey. ivan does honest things and has to cover them up at the same time. the 'violence' was to end the round of course, but it was also kind of like a familiar bandaid over the painfully honest feelings he conveyed with the kiss. even if he didn't really hurt him he couldn't just be honest

there are definitely more (most everything he does in regards to till tbh) but i wanted to talk about some others too

the comic conversation with sua about her sacrifice! such a big one. ivan's feelings about sua are very complicated, but to me i feel like he cares about her to an extent, almost pitying in a way. he's horribly jealous of her and the love she has, but he sees so much of himself in her that what he says in that conversation is probably at least half projection, even if he's not aware of it.

the way he looks at her without trying to hide his distaste feels like the way he would look down on himself. the whole thing shows not only his disgust with himself, but his anger towards someone who is so similar to him that she makes the same plans in her head even though she has something he believes he'll never have. it's envy, tried and true, and he doesn't even hide it at the time. he hides the self loathing behind it, but still. that might be the most honest we've seen ivan aside from the end of r6.

that conversation also does kind of show the fact that he cares for sua and mizi. sua in a way he acknowledges less to himself, but certainly mizi.

and speaking of mizi, my last example for right now is the way he watched round 5 like he was barely holding it together and sort of did his own recreation of it in round 6. the strangling was reminiscent of the way mizi lunged at luka and he almost certainly got the idea for his method of sacrifice from what she did. it kind of feels like an ode to her, in a way. an ode to mizi while offering himself up for till, which. is very sad but almost a little sweet, that he had a piece of mizi in what he was doing for till.

okay okay im sure i could keep talking about this but ive been writing for. a long time LMAO so i will stop here but! yeah. ivan shows his emotions inadvertently through his actions and about fifty levels of subterfuge. but it's all we get, so...

thank you for the ask again my dude, i really enjoyed answering it!

[soukokumychildren]

I. ABSOLOUTLY. ADORE YOUR IDEA WITH YOUR AU SO MUCHhhhhaaaaah!! ✨✨✨✨🖤🖤

Chuuya having WINGS!!? Even though he could in somee way fly before already, it feels so different with wings!! Like really cool!!

(( I have always Liked wings -

Is your AU going to follow the main time-line of the show? Like, the illustrations you've posted sure does look like it-- (love them- love this idea-) ((Soukoku Reunion where Chuuya has feathers!!? ✨)

Wait, wait, wait, No- dont spoil anything..! (maybe just a little yes or no- that wouldn't really spoil anything—) I will find out as I read—!

I mainly wanted to say I'm really looking forward to reading this!!

It's my first BSD AU where it follows the main time-line - just differently- as well! A thing I really like!!

Well, if it really does ofc, but It sure does look like it—Arg, I gotta just continue reading soon——

Even if it don't this seems really interesting already!!!

Ahem, anyhow, this became a bit long- I wanted to expres my excitement about this-especially after, you even looked at some of my BSD stuff after I followed you!!!!

Thank you soo much!✨ That became the last push to write this little too long text, that isn't really a question, but more like a thank you-ahh im excited for this-- that I had already considered writing to you after I started reading😅😅👍

This entire post just made my day and while I could I'd rather not risk dying from lightheadedness from spinning too fast in excitement in my spinny chair XDDDDD THANK YOU SO MUCH

I can't express how embarrassed I am just fshfhsgshgsghshg I have been CRAZY for wings for AGES now, and I just saw soooo many posts about how "what if Chuuya could fly Dazai" I thought, fuckers, I can make that REALITY And it is going to follow the main timeline of the show just...alot differently but at the same time trying really hard to stick to the normal plot In hindsight that means I must suffer with all my energy to watch the first season of bsd (When I first watched BSD, the first episodes were for setup, and rightfully so. That all made sense, it really put the characters together. But I watched it a second time and it dragged ON and ON and I COULDN'T STAND IT UNTIL CHUUYA CAME TO GRAB DAZAI gARgHHrhgh). I must admit I'm confused on the "Soukoku reunion where Chuuya has feathers" bit though 🤔 And currently during the plot I'm writing I have to improvise ALOT from what I know, and really this fic is also whatever the fuck I wanna write with whatever writing style I have on hand slapped into each 1K chapter so I'm really trying here LOL Also the fact when [undisclosed plot device] will be introduced, I'll be writing seperate smut for [undisclosed plot device] because I can then do WHATEVER I want wITHOUT any repercussions Hopefully I can add in [undisclosed plot device] just in a way that people will understand. Though I hear that Beast Dazai also came across [undisclosed plot device] at one point :D

I'm going SO offtopic here LMFAO And seriously? Really??? I'm surprised! I'm sure theres alot of fics that go by the timeline, I especially have run into cough ones which I liked which are specifically smut related..... and I go back to off topic I'm sorry LMAO But I'm sosoosososo glad you like it! It just means alot to me you wrote alot and now I'm just ranting because you've shown genuine interest without going off the rails (as far as I've seen) so this is pretty cool for me too!!! And I do usually look to peoples accounts who follow me (especially those who find interest in a SURPRISING amount of my stuff XD) so yeah, that's why and I found some GOOD stuff on your account too, so that's REALLY awesome. Talk to me any time! Dm me, reblog and talk to me that way, use replies, whatever the fuck! I love talking to people, and this was genuinely fun to write. :]

[inamagicalhallucination]

natsuo not forgiving his dad but making peace with his past and moving on was actually really great; and i liked where endevour ended up -- even now its hard to say everyone's fully moved on from his abuse -- becuz thats not how it works, i think ive said it before but endeavors redemption arc always confused me becuz compared to characters like bakugo, his was so weak -- and that i thought (and still do) it was done on purpose

bakugo's growth is shown at a very slow and gradual process, when he apologizes to izuku, he's not only realized he was awful, he's already been actively better and he's already grown -- also bakugo's pre-arc self doesn't compare to endeavor who literally abused his entire family, leading his wife to a breakdown, his son to death and then villiany, along with many other things -- im only comparing them becuz they both had redemption arcs written by the same author not becuz i think theyre comparable

bakugo's actions werent good by any means but he, per every arc, gradually changed over and over, not only how he treated izuku but how he thought of him and how he acted overall (all the while retaining his loud personality lmao)

endeavor on the other hand essentially got what he wanted, realized he was a piece of shit and /then/ tried to make it up -- it wasnt like bakugo who was already being better when he apologized -- who was waiting to apologize -- endeavor's arc, in that way felt insincere

altho the scenes where endeavor tries to be a better father and todoroki ignores him are funny, they also show that endeavor just kind of tries to flip the switch -- there's not gradualness, no process, one day he's just like "well enough of being awful" but the thing is, why would siblings who have been hurt their entire life not want some aspect of love? of course it makes sense that even tho natsuo was the least likely to be willing to forgive endeavor, some times u thought that maybe... but natsuo could never forgive him, could never pretend that nothing happened and that they were family now, and that was perfect for him becuz he didn't owe endeavor anything

even when the dabi-touya reveal happens, endeavor fails to actually take action/responsibiltiy over his abuse of his family -- he's vocal about wanting to change, he tries to play up some reselblance of a father, but he fails to genuinely show growth most of the times (not to say he's never had moments where his regret is obvious, just that there are a lot of moments where he should be doing something but doesnt)

endeavor's arc is a show that sometimes u regret what u've done and u try to change, but u fail at it, sometimes apologies dont account for anything, sometimes people dont forgive u -- its a show that no every character arc is meant to end with the character forgiven --- endeavor says that he'll continue apologizing and give reparations for his crimes for the rest of his life, he accepts that that means nothing to natsuo and that natsuo wants to move on w/o him, he says he'll take the blame, that he chose to dance, so he'll take the consequences -- its a very bleak ending but it fits his arc the best -- endeavor was not able to really fix anything -- he did not fix his family, he did not save touya, he did not earn the love of his children, but he finally became ready to actually repent, without expecting anything in return

to clarify, i dont think that endeavor's regret is insincere, by the way, i think he does regret what he did to his family, however his regret for the abuse he forced hsi family through does not dictate how his family should react, no matter how sincere the regret, the apology, or the love, no one is required to forgive and move on -- and natsuo could not do that, but at the very least, becuz of endeavor's change, he was finally able to have some peace with it all

finally, the touya situation

the todoroki family is genuinely hell for me, the touya/dabi-shoto interaction killed me, i think ppl forget that touya's so called hatred for shoto is stemmed from the endeavors actions and abuse, touya is able to recognize that its not really shoto's fault but he cant /help/ but have all that anger in him anyway becuz of endeavor -- all of touya's siblings were born for the sole reason of being his replacement

in another life, the todoroki siblings would have loved and cherished each other, in another like touya would have been shoto's big brother and shoto would have been his little brother, they would have had soba together, they would have trained together, they would have all been a family

the "shouto im sorry" and touya crying was the worst and best thing horikoshi has ever done