#i might actually cry i wish they were my parents so bad

[auncyen]

what I meant to write: mIrabelle as the one looping having a crying breakdown in the equivalent of act 3 because I thought of it a few days ago and it's been stuck in my head (Panic! at the Dinner Table).

What actually got written: can you imagine how terrible it'd be for another looper to start suspecting Siffrin did something WELL

-

Siffrin has been suspicious for several days.

(Odile might say 'days' is inaccurate, but it's close enough, you think! You start in early afternoon on one day and then, when everything goes well, see Euphrasie in late afternoon of the next day, so it's around a day--sometimes over...many times under. Also, calling them days feels...better. Maybe it's a 'cycle' or 'loop' for everyone else caught up in this, with them always being reset to the same places, the same lines until you start changing things, but you are moving through time. You're Changing.)

(You're changing, aren't you?)

(For the better?)

--Siffrin has been suspicious for several of your days. They still act like their friendly self--they've even gifted you a flower sometimes! (You suppose other times you might have been too abrupt in waking them up. And sometimes you haven't woken them up at all, because you realize they'll come to the Clocktower anyway. They all will, it's where you're staying. You couldn't come up with anything more creative than a sleepover?) But...something's off.

You first realized something was strange about Siffrin--well, a lot of things are strange about Siffrin. You're more worried about his memory than ever now. Whenever you go into that secret room for the stash of tonics, Siffrin starts talking about a time he ran away from home, only to suddenly stop and look confused. You've tried encouraging him to continue by reminding him of everything he said up to that point (Isabeau applauded your thorough recitation with the most lightheartedness he could muster while still looking Siffrin over with his own concern), but it doesn't jog anything. You've tried guiding Siffrin to tell the story a different way with questions, but it seems like he loses the thread even faster that way. Lately you've just...cut him off from telling the story by laughing as soon as he brings it up and mentioning how mad his parents must have been when he returned. Siffrin still looks confused and lost for a terrible moment when you say that, but then he grins and agrees, and surely he's agreeing because that's what actually happened, isn't it? He said he was playing a prank. He played a silly prank for an hour or two, and then he went home, and probably he got a scolding for it but everything was fine.

...You still. Would like to avoid that room in the future. To not see that scared, lost look on Siffrin. Maybe you're strong enough now that you don't need the tonics?

But, but, you need to focus. Siffrin's memory problems are strange and worrying, and you really wished they'd said sooner how bad it is instead of letting you all tease them about it, but what's suspicious is their connection to the King.

You're not entirely sure what it is. When you go to the King, he always singles Siffrin out. "Bright One...do you remember?"

Obviously, with the already-mentioned memory problems, the answer is No. You've tried asking Siffrin if they know the King in any way, but of course he says no? Even if they knew each other once, Siffrin could have forgotten him the same way he can't remember what happened when he went out on the ocean in a boat to prank his parents? You imagined a tragically doomed romance between a villain and a hero with partial amnesia from an injury earned in one of their past scuffles (why is Siffrin's memory that bad???) for all of ten seconds before you realized that if Siffrin could forget the King, he'll surely forget boring, stagnant Mirabelle as soon as he leaves. After that you were too depressed to imagine anything between Siffrin and the King, which was probably for the better. Especially considering...

One time, the King singled out Siffrin in a different way. A terrible way. The first loop--the first day after you defeated the King and got to see Euphrasie for a glimpse of happiness before being sent back--you'd lost your temper a bit. You'd pushed everyone to go through the House faster than any time before, brought back to your senses at the end of the second floor by Odile dryly commenting on her tired feet while giving a pointed look at Bonnie, who was obviously getting worn out. You'd apologized over and over, and chewed your nails off at the second snack break to let them take all the time they needed to recover their energy, and went through the third floor without saying anything to rush Siffrin. You'd kept your temper in check until you saw the King again, and then you'd accused him of being a cheat, an unchanged loser who couldn't accept defeat, and he'd let your venting wash over him with a calm indifference ("I do not know what you speak of, Housemaiden") until you told him exactly what you were speaking of--the time that kept turning back, again and again, the days the loops the returns--

His face is mostly obscured by his long hair, but you could tell by the way his head turned that he'd directed his attention to Siffrin, and you knew it was with a glare by the cold fury in his voice. "What have you done, Bright One. The Universe's will is with me."

And then

the king struck

and Siffrin--

You don't speak to the King anymore. You don't let him talk either. You're pretty sure he told you everything you'd want to know from him. He can use Time Craft, but he isn't the one holding you in these endless days. He thinks Siffrin can use Time Craft, which sounds ridiculous, but since then you've talked with the Change God (you'd wanted reassurance you'd wanted a sign your statue was the only one unbroken in the whole House and you touched its face in reverence and the Change God spoke to you) and they'd told you three things:

you're their favorite!

they're put out by Dormont being stagnant and unchanging, but they're excited to see how exactly you change (maybe being their favorite isn't good. Your favorite characters go through some awful things, after all)

Siffrin isn't not responsible for this???

So it makes sense that Siffrin had a hand in this somehow! After a few more days which let you reach Euphrasie, you realized the time reset at the end only happens while Euphrasie is talking to Siffrin! That's suspicious! And, and, you've tried preventing it by keeping Euphrasie from talking to Siffrin, but she is so insistent she'd like to talk to them, and everyone starts looking at you strangely the more you protest, and you just...can't stop it.

You can't stop Siffrin from ruining things.

You hate that you're even suspicious of him, but he won't admit to using Time Craft when you ask, and surely even with his terrible memory, he'd remember that? He doesn't forget everything! But if he's lying, then...

Then you don't know what that means.

You don't know what to do.

--

...What Siffrin did: show Mirabelle how to wish and be an islander recognized by other islanders and not particularly liked by the Change God

[stvnszlr]

I HAVE THE ADOPTION PAPERS IN HAND RIGHT NOW PLEASEEEE PLEASE PLEASE DUFF N SU 😞

[mrfoox]

The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers

[its-time-to-write]

PLEASE i am on my knees for jamie x reader where she’s just crying thinking about all the times he needed someone but no one was there.. and now everything is great, he’s grown and he has so much love and support and he has her but all she can do is sob because when you love someone you wish you were could be there to hold them even if they were 8 and their dad was a dick.. yknow??? AND he’s just holding her face, nodding and reassuring her he’s fine and he has so many people, especially her, and he’s lowkey choked up too

So. This is actually a mix of two writings. The first part is from your request, the second is something I wrote shortly after my very first post. I actually wrote it because I was processing some personal things, so… yeah. Here it is. Just be warned, it talks about abuse and stuff, Jamie’s dad shows up and is his regular, douchey self. If that’s upsetting for anyone, just be aware. If this needs more warnings, let me know.

i don’t know how you keep smiling/i’m just choking almost constantly

“He what?” you whisper, tears streaming down your face. “You’re telling me he took you there and made you do that?”

You’re sitting on your couch in your flat, legs across Jamie’s lap. He’d come over out of nowhere an hour earlier, just knocked on your door and said, “Can we talk?”

You let him in because of course you can talk. You make tea, sit down on the couch, and words just come spilling out of Jamie. It is all about his dad. How he drank, yelled, and hit, precisely in that order. Watching his mum throw him out and accept him back in, in what felt like an endless cycle. Hiding how bad it really was for her because his dad was making her laugh and she was smiling and anyway, it’s not like the bruises were anywhere anyone could see.

Jamie tells you how his dad came to his game the night before, went to the locker room, and how Jamie punched him. He says he’s scared of his dad finding him, because his dad always makes good on a threat, and he doesn’t usually have anyone to talk to but he figured you might be a good listener, what with being his girlfriend of five months and all. He says it all while staring at the chipped mug on your coffee table, the one he insisted you can’t throw out because it’s his favorite, and who care’s if it’s a little damaged? It adds character.

But all you can think about is little eight-year-old Jamie, hiding under his bed and pulling out his front tooth because his dad broke it, so he can tell his mom he just lost it like all the other kids.

You think of what you were doing that year. You would have just turned six, chasing your brother with a fairy wand and a nerf gun, ponytail flying.

The mental image of Jamie under his bed, cowering in a corner, learning to cover up welts and to lie to his mum brings a fresh wave of tears. Just the thought of him being alone makes it feel as though your heart is breaking, and you wish you would have known him then. Your parents would have loved him. Wouldn’t have let his father come around and hit him.

He just finished telling you about Amsterdam, and you can physically feel your soul shatter into pieces on his behalf. The fact that he can’t even remember it is what really gets you. 

Jamie, meanwhile has stopped staring at the mug and is now looking at you. “It- it’s alright, love,” he says. “I’m here now, and it’s alright.”

Through blurry eyes, you can see that it is not alright. Jamie’s eyes are watering now too, and he pulls you onto his lap. He wraps his arms around you and you let him bury his head in the crook of your neck.

You sniff and pull yourself together. “No, Jaim, it’s not alright. You can say, ‘I’m alright,’ or ‘I will be alright,’ but what that shithead did to you is not and never will be ok. And I’m glad you’re telling me about it, and I’m only crying because I keep thinking about how you must’ve felt. It’s not because I can’t handle it, because I can. And I want you to know that I’m here for you, and you’re going to be ok.”

Jamie has started shaking in your arms, and you feel a tears start to drop onto your neck.

You run your fingers through his hair and whisper, “You’re ok. I’m here, I’ve got you, and you’re ok. I’m not leaving. You’re ok.”

—

That was the first real time Jamie ever told you about his dad. You’d talk about it periodically, whenever it got really bad, and he also started talking to a therapist. Doctor Sharon, you think her name was? Anyway, he’s getting better in his mind, which is good, because sometimes you don’t know what to do beyond listen. And you do. Soon, Jamie’s stories about his dad begin with, “Dr. Sharon says…” and he’s not as angry anymore. Not as jaded, not as broken. There are still deep cuts, but his spirit is coming back. He’s not broken in such a way that he can’t be put back together, piece by piece.

—

It’s not until you’re out to dinner at your favorite restaurant that something actually happens.

“Jamie,” you say, face serious, empty plates between you.

“Yes, love,” he replies, matching your expression.

“I think that we should get ice cream.”

His face breaks into a smile as he slides his hand off the top of yours to run it through his hair. “Babe. We just ate enough food to put a horse into a coma, and you want ice cream? What about digestion?”

“Jamie. Listen-” you both argue as he pays the bill, takes your hand again, and swings it while you head in the direction of the ice cream shop.

“-And if you think about it, it’s actually a wise food choice,” you continue.

“Babe,” he laughs, “I just think that you might be making up the health benefits of strawberry ice…”

Jamie's counter-argument has trailed off as he stares at something ahead of you, rather someone who is stumbling down the sidewalk in your direction.

You have never seen this man before, but you know exactly who he is.

He's still a good seven feet away when he yells, “Well, well, look who it is. Me son, who can’t even take the time to return his own father’s phone calls! Just joking, just joking, hey? And who’s this fine little lady?” he asks, punctuating his words with a few fake punches in Jamie’s direction as he draws closer.

Jamie is still holding your hand, but has maneuvered himself in between you and his father. He has yet to say anything, so you take your cue from him and keep silent.

James Tartt, Sr. is in front of you now, and it is more obvious now than ever that he is intoxicated. He's swaying a little bit as he stands, and there is the stench of alcohol with each breath he blows. Jamie is holding your hand so tight that it hurts, but you don’t let go. You grip it back.

“Dad,” Jamie says as a way of greeting, face taut.

You're under a streetlight, but not many people are around this time of night.

“Jamie,” his father replies, mocking his serious tone, “is this how I find out you’ve got a girl? Runnin’ into you on the street? Couldn't have sent me a quick message about it, hey? Oh I joke, I joke,” he says. His words are grating, and he keeps punching at Jamie. You do not like it at all. 

“What d’you want, dad?” Jamie asks, gripping your hand harder, if that’s even possible.

His dad wipes his face. “Ey, listen, since you’re ‘ere, what do you say you get me tickets to the Man City game this weekend? Can spend some quality time with this one.” He winks at you in a way you’re sure he thinks is endearing, which is a problem because three things happen in rapid succession: his dad makes a rude comment about quality time, Jamie pushes you behind him saying, “Don’t you ever fucking speak to her,” and James Tartt shouts, “You self-righteous, fuckin’ pussy!” and moves to hit Jamie. 

You’re not sure which one of you he’s talking to, but it doesn’t matter because Jamie’s dad is on the ground and people are starting to stare. You pull Jamie’s still clenched fist down and say, “Babe, let’s get out of here,” while James Tartt is drunkenly trying to stand.

“Babe,” you say a little more forcefully. “let’s go.”

Jamie snaps out of it, lets out a short, “Right, yeah,” and then you’re walking as fast as you can in the opposite direction. 

Not fast enough, apparently, because you still hear his father yell, “That's two you’ve got on me, boy! You better watch your back!”

You have no circulation in your hand and for the first time that night, you feel real fear. Not for yourself, but for Jamie. You may have never met his father, but you’ve heard enough. You know that he always makes good on a threat. 

Jamie looks back twice to make sure you aren’t being followed, and you just walk. You walk a mile past your flat and then circle back. Jamie hasn’t said a single word, just held your hand like it was the only thing anchoring him to the world. It's not until you’re on your doorstep that you decide to break the silence.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You’re facing each other, you one step above him so you’re almost eye-level.

Jamie shakes his head and looks away. “Not- not tonight. I don’t think I can- I’m not sure-”

“Hey,” You slowly lift your free hand and brush a stray strand of hair from his forehead. Not slowly enough, apparently, because he still flinches almost imperceptibly, “It’s alright, Jaim. We don’t have to talk about it tonight.”

Jamie blows out a sigh, and you slide your hand from his hair to his cheek. He just looks so tired, all the anger and defensiveness gone out of him.

“Your place or mine?” you ask because there’s no way in hell you’re letting him be alone tonight.

Jamie shakes his head slightly. “I can’t. I have training tomorrow.”

“Jamie-”

“No, look, I just need something to be normal. And I don’t want you coming over in case me dad fuckin’ decides to come ‘round. I'll come over tomorrow after practice and we can talk then.”

He says it with such resigned finality that you don’t fight him on it. You whisper a soft “alright,” and then wrap your arms around him as tight as they can go. Jamie hugs you so hard you almost can’t breathe, but you don’t ever want to let him go; you memorize the feel of his arms around you, his head in the crook of your neck, and the erratic beat of his heart.

He lets you go after a long moment, waits to make sure that you get inside safely, and then you watch him begin the two-block trudge to his house.

You stay awake until your phone dings with a made it from Jamie, and then, despite all the thoughts swirling in your head, you fall asleep.

——

You startle awake by someone yelling outside, followed by a loud knocking. You squint at the clock which reads an awful one a.m. for a split second you wonder if it’s Jamie at your door, then you catch a word this person is yelling.

Whore.

You’re wide awake now. You grab your phone to text Jamie as his father continues to pound on your door yelling, You stupid fucking bitch, no one messes with James Tartt, I’ll make you fucking pay for that shit he pulled!

The text goes through and you wait a second before calling 999. They answer your call and promise that someone will be over right away. You know for a fact Jamie is still asleep, but you call him just in case and his sleep-deprived voice answers on the third ring. You can only get out a few words - outside, your dad, police - before he is wide awake and on his way over.

——

It's all kind of a blur, really, and you feel truly horrendous, but all you can think about is Jamie. You’re not really sure how he does it, but he is at your flat right before the police. All your neighbor’s lights are on now, and Jamie is in your doorway holding you tight. 

You think about how awful this must be for him.

It's his dad. It’s like being a kid all over again.

You’re supposed to be the one person who he can feel safe around, but now you’re asking him to step into a volatile situation.

He got woken up in the middle of the night when he needs his sleep, which resulted in him seeing his dad get arrested.

All you can say is, “I'm sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over again, as you try not to cry into Jamie’s pajama shirt.

He pulls back a little and wipes a stray tear from your cheek.

“Your place or mine?” he asks, because there’s no way in hell he’s letting you be alone tonight.

You shake your head. “Neither,” you say. “You have training in two hours.”

“Yours,” he says as he gently backs you into the flat and shuts the door. 

“What about Roy?” you ask. Roy gets pissed if Jamie skips training.

Jamie pulls out his phone and narrates as he types: “Granddad. Won't be at training this mornin. If you’re mad about it you can go fuck yourself,” and then presses send.

You have the bizarre urge to laugh. “Jamie, you did not type that.” You try to grab his phone from him but he holds it out of your reach and shuts it off.

“Oi. We’re going to sleep and we ain’t thinkin about anything until 10 tomorrow, yeah?”

“Ok,” you say. 

He takes your hand and leads you to the bedroom, where you finally fall asleep in a tangle of limbs.

You might not be ok right now, but you will be. You’ll both be alright.

[gemini-stories]

remember me | j.wy x reader

synopsis: the years may have passed but he always remembered you. even when you didn't. pairing: wooyoung x fem!reader genre: idol!AU, friends to strangers to partners to lovers (?), smut (minors do not interact!!) warnings: idol wooyoung, idol reader, smut, face riding, cunnilingus, protected vaginal penetration (wrap it before you tap it), oral (female receiving), reader is bitchy, one sided pining, wooyoung is dumbly in love. if I miss anything pls let me know! word count: 7.6k ish a/n: tbh I wanted to get out of my comfort writing zone and decided to post my first fic here! this was supposed to be a one shot but it was getting too long for my liking, so maybe a part 2? anyways I'm open to any feedback and criticism so don't be shy to let me know and if you'd actually like to read the second part (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

─────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

The first time Wooyoung saw you was at the Junior Local Dance Competition you both participated when you were both 10 years old. He was dancing for the first time in front of a public after he started dance lessons three months ago. He messed up the steps. He was so nervous that he forgot a step and after that the whole choreography was a mess. He was on the floor sulking, in a corner backstage, far from anyone. 

“I knew I'd find you here crying,” you said with a warm smile. 

Wooyoung raised his glance towards you.

“I’m not crying!” he said embarrassed, crimson blossoming on his cheeks. 

“Yet. You’re upset and in the crying corner.You were about to cry if i wouldn’t have come here.” 

“Crying corner?” he asked, looking at the pink ruffles of your dress.

“We all come to this corner after our first performance. Usually everyone’s first performance is bad. Like really bad. So everyone who wants to cry and wants to do so alone comes here.”

He brought his knees to his chest and hid his face. “So I was really bad. Maybe I should quit before it’s too late.”

“Hey,” you lightly pushed his shoulder, your voice calm, “if we all were to quit, no one would come to this competition again. You should’ve seen me here the first time, I was a disaster,” you chuckled.

Wooyoung was emotionless. You seriously had to lighten him up somehow, otherwise he might mean what he is saying. You wished someone would have cheered you up when you were in his place four years ago. Now, you felt it was your duty to do it for someone else, so they wouldn’t go through a spiraling of self doubt at such a young age.

“Look, this was your first year, right?” you started cautiously. He slowly nodded his head and you took it as a sign to continue. “I bet next year you’ll even win the competition if you don’t give up now!”

“What?” he finally looked at you suspiciously.

“Practice every day and snatch the first place from me,” you said in the most serious way possible.

“How do you even know if you’ll win today?” he asked, laughing in your face. There it was.

“Well, I know I can win today, so you have to do it next year,” you grinned with a smile from ear to ear. “Pinky promise and all!” you extended your arm, fluttering your pinky finger.

Wooyoung looked at you puzzled. But why not, he thought. There was no guarantee you’d win today. So, he put his pinky into yours and you two sealed the promise with your thumbs.

“You can’t go back down now,” you said while getting up. “You have to win next year. Of course, you’ll have to beat me for that..but we made the promise, so work hard.”

Wooyoung was still as puzzled until you left. Does this mean he can’t give up now?

He got up and went to search for his parents in the audience. His parents waited for him with a sad smile, telling him he still did great and not to think about any mistake. He thought how you didn’t smile sadly at him. 

Then you came on stage. With your pink ruffle dress and glitter makeup. The audience clapped, wishing you good luck. It all went to silence and the music started flowing through the whole stage. And you started dancing. Wooyoung could only compare your dance to angels flying on the stage. You graciously moved on the song, smiling and lip-syncing to the song. 

You noticed him in the audience and you thought you should show him how confident you are. How confident he should be next time as well. You decided to improvise by getting closer to the edge of the stage, where he was sitting. You winked at him, sticking out your tongue and turned around to continue your choreography. The audience cheered.

Wooyoung was damn stunned. Did you just wink at him? Did anyone notice? He looked around but everyone seemed to think it was part of the dance. Maybe it actually was part of the dance. Your facial expressions were matching the mood of the song, which was very cheery. 

You finished your choreography with a courtesy and the whole public erupted in applause and cheers, while you went backstage.

You were right. You did win.

You fulfilled your side of the promise and now it was Wooyoung’s turn. He didn’t give up. He continued going to the dance classes. He thought about your performance every day. How confident and pretty you looked on stage, like the stage was your home. Like you were born to be on stage. He thought about how everyone in the audience was looking in awe at you, admiring the way you moved and clapping and cheering and smiling. And he thought that’s exactly how he wants them to look at him.

So he went to class after class after class for the whole year. He thought about his promise every day, motivating him to go forward. Quickly enough, it was time for the Junior Local Dance Competition. He was confident in his performance this year. His dance teacher complimented him so many times in the past months, even telling his parents how quickly he made such a progress. He was confident. Confident that he could beat you? Not so much. But he still had a promise to fulfill. Just you wait!

But he ended up being the one to wait. On the podium. With the first place medal in his hand. Alone. Because you were not there. He won but you were not there to see it. You didn’t come to that year's competition. Neither the next year’s. When he won again. Or the next, when once again he won.  

He thought he’ll never see you again. He thought about your performance that day. About how happy everyone was watching you. About how happy he was watching you.

Until you were dancing on the stage in front of him again. At the Regional Competition he attended when he was 14. You were dancing on a rendition of a popular pop song. Smiling and lip-syncing, while the audience was clapping and cheering for you. As he once remembered. Of course he’d recognize you and your smile, because you didn’t change at all. In reality, you changed a lot. You were taller, with shorter hair than he remembered, and not wearing the pink ruffled dress. 

You won. He came in second. He didn’t lose the competitions in a long time. But he was not upset because it was you. You won. You were there.

He wondered if you remembered him. You didn’t. You congratulated him for his performance telling him it was amazing after the awards were given and everyone went backstage. You didn’t bring up your promise and neither did him. Because immediately after you went to a group of girls, laughing and jumping in happiness. He looked at you and your group longingly. It’s been four years, of course you wouldn’t remember him and the stupid promise you both made when you were 10. 

He looked at you taking pictures with the girls. He recognised one of the girls. She was also attending the local competition every year and she briefly attended his classes as well, where she asked for his Instagram. She thought Wooyoung was a great dancer. She also thought he was very cute. That night he wondered if he could find your social media, maybe she would be following you. The girl had hundreds in her following list on Instagram and he didn’t know your name and neither did he see your picture in any tiny icon. 

He was almost going to give up when that girl posted an update. A picture from the regionals. And you were in the picture. Smiling so wide that your eyes closed and holding up the first place medal. The universe listened to his prayers. You were tagged in the picture. Jackpot!

He looked at your profile picture. Of course he was never going to find you, your picture was a cute bunny cartoon munching on a raspberry. Then he saw your name. He thought it was such a pretty name, suiting you perfectly. Your profile was not private so he spent the rest of the night looking at your pictures. That’s how he found out why you haven’t been attending the local competition in the last few years - you moved to a neighbouring city. Still in the same region, hence why you were at the regionals. You still attended the competitions in your city. And won every time. You were on a winning strike for sure! He wondered if you’re still as confident. Your posts were pictures from everywhere and everything you were doing. Dance practices, competitions, hanging out with friends, pretty sunsets and bunnies. 

He really wanted to follow you but he was scared. What if you would recognize him now? And think that it was rude he didn’t recognize you!

After a few minutes and not that many thoughts, he made a new account, hiding his name and followed you. 

He was so happy. Not only did he see you today. But he found your name. He was thinking that maybe, just maybe if he wins next year you’d recognise him and remember him. 

You didn’t. The next year at the regionals, you won again. And you didn’t recognise him. Again. He looked from afar. Again. 

After that year you also started to post pictures and videos from singing lessons. He guessed you were training now to be a singer as well. Your voice changed so much, from the tiny voice you had when you talked to him when you were 10 to your voice now at 16. You had a beautiful singing voice too. You were going to make a great artist.

The next year you didn’t show up at the regionals. That proved his theory you were probably a trainee now and didn’t have time to go to competitions anymore. 

He ended up winning. Once again you were not there to witness it.

But someone else was. They made him a proposition he couldn’t say no to. And that’s how he became a trainee as well.

Your last Instagram post was a picture of you with your eyes closed from smiling, captioned: “see you at my debut stage:)”.

You were going to debut.

At 18 you debuted in a trio with two other boys your age. Rhythm was your group's name. Very fitting, one could say. You all had great rhythm, were well synchronised, with powerful vocals, and energetic choreographies. You took the country by storm. The general public adored your group's music. The general public adored you. You and the boys. Your group was everywhere, interviews, radios, talk shows, music shows. And you were winning every time. As you once said.

You opened a new and official Instagram account and stopped posting on the old one. Wooyoung still followed your old one from his secret account. He started posting nature pictures with a tad bit of poetry in the captions. It was nothing too big, too deep, or too poetic. Just some of his thoughts that once in a while he felt the need to get out of his chest. He updated the profile picture to be his hand in a pinky promise stand. He thought it to be extremely fitting.

Wooyoung followed your every step, watching all the performances and interviews. He was so proud. He knew you’d be a star. You gave him courage and confidence once and you kept instilling it in him, in his trainee days and once he debuted as well. 

He debuted a few years later in an 8 members boy group - Ateez. They were gaining popularity fast, even though their music was in its own niche, with a unique concept. He was dying to be on the same stage as you. Maybe just maybe you’d recognise him. 

You never did.

“Y/N fucking mentioned us!” Hongjoong screamed entering the dance practice studio.

“Shut up!” San raised his eyebrows, his eyes almost bulging out of his sockets. He couldn’t believe it.

Wooyoung’s jaw dropped and he wasn’t able to close it yet.

Hongjoong held his phone up as proof. “Look!”

They all gathered around him, looking down at his phone. There you were, your smile too big for the small screen. It was a video from last night’s radio interview that Wooyoung didn’t have time to check yet. He couldn’t believe he didn’t see it first. He started smiling as soon as Hongjoong pressed play.

“So, Y/N, you always give amazing song recommendations. Any new music we should start listening to?” The radio host asked you.

You chuckled and Wooyoung was ecstatic waiting for your answer.

“I wouldn’t say new music, but these days I caught myself listening to Ateez a lot!”

The boys screamed. “OH MY GOD THAT’S US! IT’S US”

Wooyoung just kept smiling. That means you listened to him too. Maybe you even watched their music videos. Maybe even their performances. Maybe even..

“Ateez you say?” the host nudged you to continue, a little bit impressed as you usually wouldn’t recommend groups.

“Their songs really put me in a good mood, you know. And motivating. Also the lore behind their concept? It’s soooo good! I even caught myself watching fan theories and explanations so I can understand it, that’s how caught up I am,” you said laughing.

A general sound of gasping erupted in the room. Wooyoung was shocked. You definitely watched the music videos. He was more than curious to know what you were thinking of them.

“You know they are all very handsome, do you have a favourite between them?” such a sly question.

The room was silent, everyone expecting your answer. Wooyoung saw a tiny bit of blushing in your cheeks that went away in less than a millisecond. You were a pro at these interviews.

You licked your lips and answered, “You know I try to not show favouritism,” you giggled hiding your face, “but Hongjoong writes and produces a lot of their songs. I’d love to have a collaboration or something on a future song. I think it would turn out to be amazing!”

“Fuck.” Wooyoung muttered under his breath.

“No way!” Hongjoong exclaimed. “Did I hear right?”

“Bro,” Mingi patted his shoulder. “There’s no way. No way. She said your name. She wants to collaborate with you? For a song?”

“It’s nothing official though. It might never happen.” 

Hongjoong said, trying to stay calm, looking at Wooyoung, seeing how his shoulders deflated. Something he does when he’s on the verge of sulking. Hongjoong knew how much Wooyoung admired you. He never explicitly expressed it but it was obvious. He’d always listen to your group’s songs and your solo songs especially. He’d always smile fondly when you’d appear on TV, and he was always extra nervous when you would share the same stage. Wooyoung didn’t have to say anything, Hongjoong would notice. The same way he noticed now that your answer did bother him, more than either of them would expect.

What bothered Wooyoung even more was how a few weeks later you contacted their manager to go forward with a song collaboration. Your answer wasn’t just for the show. You really did want to collaborate with Hongjoong on a song.

Wooyoung was furious. But not with Hongjoong. he deserved the attention and this would be such an opportunity for him. He was furious with himself. Maybe if he went to you when you were 14 to say “hey, remember me?” he wouldn’t regret it so much. Like what even is he expecting now? For you to what? Name drop him in your interviews? He needed to get a grip.

“I don’t know, I feel like that part comes in too early, you know? Maybe we can add five beats before it to prolong the pre chorus just a bit?” you said scrunching your eyebrows.  

It was already your eighth time sitting in the studio with Hongjoong. You were surprised how well you two clicked. You didn’t lie in the interview when you said you were impressed by their songs. But you did always find it hard to work with new people. You were comfortable with your people, and the point of this new album was for you to get out of your comfort zone. That’s why you wanted to try something new. New sounds, new choreos, new videos. If all the collaborations were to go as smooth as with Hongjoong, the new album will be a piece of cake.

It was easy to talk with him and express your ideas. He was eager to listen and implement all your suggestions but was not afraid to implement bold decisions of his own either. You loved that.

“No, nevermind. It sounds weird as fuck. I don’t like it.” you sighed. “I’m sorry I know we changed this specific ten seconds a billion times today.”

“No sweat! That’s why we’re here. That’s why I’m here.”

There he is. Sweet Hongjoong. No matter how bitchy you are about the song he would help you fix it. 

“I’m sorry, I think I’m a bit in a slump today and that’s why I don’t like anything.”

“What’s bothering you today?” he asked while still looking at the screen.

You groaned loudly. “They are pressuring me to find a partner for the dance segment I want to perform for the end of the year awards.”

“Anyone on your mind?”

“Not one person,” you closed your eyes, leaning your head on the couch. “Anyone on yours?”

“Actually yes,” he said, turning in his chair.

At this you perked you head towards him. “Really? Who?”

“One of my team members. He’s fucking good.” Hongjoong smiled. 

“Hongjoong, you are the best thing that happened to me!” you beamed.

Hongjoong was so excited. He could finally make it up to Wooyoung. He avoided talking about his studio sessions with him around, although the others would pressure him A LOT. Asking him everything. He always kept everything brief. But many times it sounded like he had something to hide. Which he didn’t. He didn’t want to make Wooyoung upset, that was it. Hongjoong, like the others, would look at you as you were - their senior. With a lot of respect and admiration. But Wooyoung always looked at you with more, with pride and happiness. You definitely meant more for him than what he wanted to show. 

“Hey man,” Hongjoong entered Wooyoung’s room, finding him in bed on his phone, “great news!”

“What’s up?” Wooyoung asked, concentrating on his phone, playing a game.

“I might have booked you a dance segment at the end of the year award ceremony.”

“Cool.” Wooyoung said unimpressed, still focusing on his game. He trusted his leader’s decisions. If he told him he had to dance at the awards, he was going to dance.

“A dance segment with Y/N,” Hongjoong smiled. 

“What?” Wooyoung finally paused his game and looked at Hongjoong. “Absolutely not.” he shrugged as if it was the most expected answer.

“The fuck? Why not?” Hongjoong was flabbergasted. Why would he say no to such an opportunity?

“Our dancing styles don’t match,” he blinked. 

“You can’t be serious.”

“Deadly,” he said, returning to his game. His heart beating faster and faster. What the fuck is he doing?

“Well too late. It was already discussed and agreed between the higher ups. Everyone loved the idea.”

Wooyoung paused his game again. He was opening his mouth to protest but Hongjoong cut him off. “Y/N is waiting for you at 8 in the morning at her dance studio. I’ll share the location with you. Don’t be late!” and he left. Leaving behind a confused Wooyoung.

What just happened? 

He was going to see you. Talk with you. Dance with you. No. This was not supposed to happen. He convinced himself he had to see you from afar and that’s it. His heart was going crazy. How was he going to survive this?

He was late. Oh, so late. He couldn’t fall asleep last night. He was too nervous, too excited. He was thinking about you the whole night. He even looked at your old profile, something he didn’t do in a long time. And so he fell asleep. But it was too late because as he fell asleep, he had to wake up and so he slept through his alarm.

“I am so sorry!” he shouted the moment he barged through your dance studio.

You were on the floor, doing some warm up exercises. He was 47 minutes late! How disrespectful. You slowly got up while he hurriedly left his bag in a corner and ran to the middle of the room. He was gasping for air, definitely ran to get here. 

You stared up at him. He was a head taller than you but you were not going to feel smaller. You looked him up and down and went back to look in his eyes.

“What? Your coffee date with your girlfriend ended up later than you expected?” it was wrong for you to make assumptions and you knew it. But you were oh so angry! You hated hated people who were not keeping their promise.

Wooyoung choked on his words. He should’ve apologised. Said it won’t happen again. Instead he said: “I don’t have a girlfriend,” while keeping his eyes on yours.

“That’s your private life,” you blinked, “and I don’t care about it. I only care for you to be here on time. Dance. And leave. Hongjoong is a great guy, don’t disappoint him.”

Wooyoung raised his eyebrow. Indeed, Hongjoong is a great guy, but why would you say that? 

“Let’s not waste any more time and start,” you turned to reach for your tablet. 

Your dance was a beautiful choreography on a melodic hip-hop classic rendition. The choreographer did a fantastic job. You worked with him on previous projects and you really really wanted this number to be touched by his creative vision. 

The only downside… he was living in New Zealand. That never stopped you before. He used to send you videos of the choreographies and you’d send him videos of you dancing it and ask for feedback. It worked fantastic before and it will work fantastic now.

Or so you thought. The choreography was not too difficult. It was intricate with many details that you really loved focusing on. You used to learn the steps very fast, maybe in a couple of hours, but this time it turned out to be more intricate than you expected. 

The two of you spent more than half of your allocated time just analyzing it. Pressing the replay button over and over and over again. Changing the speed and trying to absorb everything to the smallest detail.

Both of you were extremely focused and everything seemed to go on the right path. You were confident this will turn out well even with the slightest hiccup in the morning.

You were wrong. 

The moment the two of you started to physically learn and count your steps, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. 

Wooyoung’s body was not listening to him. He was too much in his head, nerves, guilt, stress, fear, of failure and disappointment, everything was just overwhelming him. He felt as if his body was separate from his mind. The two doing their own thing. And he was in the middle, trying to bring them together and failing miserably.

You, on the other hand, were frustrated. With yourself and with him. With his delay this morning that gave such a wrong impression on him. He is sloppy, careless and unreliable. That’s what you told yourself the whole morning while trying to watch the choreography video. It didn’t help that when you started actually dancing he was making such…stupid mistakes. Then you went completely spiraling. Why did Hongjoong recommend Wooyoung? It was obvious he had no idea what he was doing. Was he setting you to fail? Was that his plan? 

You literally had to slap yourself to stop thinking. Which startled Wooyoung from his self-destructive thoughts as well.

You grabbed your phone, quickly typed a message and resumed your practice in no time.

Around an hour later, your phone was blinking. A sign that you got a new message that was not silenced by your do not disturb status. That could only mean one person.

“Let’s take a break,” you said looking at your phone, “20..no 15 minutes should be more than enough.”

It was the first proper sentence, besides some counting, any of you spoke in hours. 

“Ok,” was all that he could say as you left the dance studio in seconds.

He didn’t know what to do. He would’ve liked to get some fresh air but he was not familiar with the building and had no idea how to get on the roof. He didn’t want to get lost or anything. He decided the best idea was to ask you next time.

He ended up just rewatching the dance video, mentally noting some moves. Then slowly practicing and watching himself in the mirror. He was doing great. Way better. As he usually was doing when learning a new dance. Why wasn’t he like this the whole morning?

15 minutes sharp later, you opened the door, stretching your back with your arms above your head. 

“Did you spend your whole break here dancing? Why didn’t you rest?” you stopped yourself, inhaling, then adding coldly. “You know what, it’s your time. You are responsible for it.” 

“I am really sorry I was late this morning.”

And so you continued your rest of the practice.

After Wooyoung returned to his dorm, took a shower, and laid in his bed, contemplating how miserable he felt right now, he thought there was no way you were not going to complain to Hongjoong about today. And he was going to return home and scold him so so much. And not in a good way.

He knew the best way to get over it was to dance. So, in his tiny room, he got up and continued practicing the steps. Tomorrow will be better.

It was not.

He was so tired from not sleeping the previous night and from a double dance practice yesterday. Of course he overslept.

He was late.

Only 10 minutes.

But he was late.

You were lowkey furious. Was he testing your patience? That must be it. Otherwise why would he be late on your second day of practice. After you already made such a big deal about it yesterday.

When Wooyoung opened the door, gasping for air and ready to apologise, you immediately cut him off.

“Don’t even. Let’s just start.”

Sloppy, careless and unreliable.

And so you continued your practice in the next few days. Wooyoung was dying inside. He disappointed you but you were so mean.

“Don’t you know how to raise your hand?”

“This is a six count not eight. Can you even count? ”

“Did you learn to dance yesterday?”

“People will start falling asleep.”

“Why are you like this?”

And so much worse.

Wooyoung would clench his jaw in anger and just swallow his words.

You were indeed mean. You knew that. You did have extremely mean dance teachers growing up. Which was very toxic and haunted you your whole life. Apparently it still did.

You did start making these comments out of pettiness because you were annoyed with him. But then you noticed he wasn’t replying back. In the beginning he would only apologise. Then you noticed how his jaw would clench, how his nostrils would flare, how he’d roll his eyes, how he would deeply sigh. He was getting annoyed. But, nevertheless, he was not making any mean comments back. You did want to get a reaction from him. See what he had to say.

Sloppy, careless and unreliable.

And spineless too?

Your phone blinked notifying you of a new message. And so you announced the 15 minutes daily break.

You left the practice room and went to the familiar dimly lit storage room.

The moment you closed the door behind you, you felt yourself being lifted up and placed on the drawer nearby.

Your lips immediately parted, sinking in the kiss. You loved Hajun’s kisses. They were always exactly what you needed when you were stressed and annoyed. Which was a lot these days.

He trailed kisses on your jaw and down on your neck, nibbling at the cusp between your neck and shoulder.

“How is your pretty boy today?”

You rolled your eyes.

“I don’t wanna talk about him,” you rolled your eyes, unbuttoning his pants.

“But that’s your favourite topic these days,” he said, playing with the waistband of your sweatpants. “Almost like foreplay.” He yanked your pants down to your ankle in a swift movement, placing deep kisses on your lips.

He quickly put a condom on, aligned in front of your entrance, and pushed himself inside with no warning.

You gasped and bit your lips to keep quiet.

“He’s just..driving me..crazy,” you breathed. 

“So sloppy.” 

Thrust. 

“So careless.”

Thrust.

“So unreliable.”

Thrust.

“So spineless.”

“Spineless?” he groaned, increasing his pace. “That’s new. What did he do?”

You rolled your eyes in unison with your hips. “It’s what he didn't do. No matter what I say, he only gets annoyed but doesn’t talk back.”

He put his hand under your shirt, caressing your bare torso, moving up towards your chest.

“Sounds like you want someone to put you in your place.” he cupped your breast, pinching your nipple in between two fingers. “Am I not good enough for that, love?” 

You met Hajun a few months before your debut. He was training with you briefly, until he realised he is not cut for the entertainment industry. He was not sad or anything, rather happy. Studied to enter a good med school and never regretted his decision. The two of you became close friends. Venting each other’s frustration. Until one day, you both figured out the best way to vent. A kiss here, a kiss there, and then you were fucking on his couch. No strings attached and ready to break this deal whenever one of you was over it. 

You were stressed through the roof because of your upcoming album. He was stressed through the roof because of the exam season. All this stress combined and you were bound to see each other often. And fuck often.

“Oh, please,” you moaned in his mouth, “you never knew how to put me in my place.”

After a week of practice, you and Wooyoung filmed your dance and sent it to the choreographer for feedback. He immediately video called the two of you to deliver his response.

Which was a disaster.

He said your chemistry was lacking big time. No synergy whatsoever. And that you basically looked like amateurs. 

“Look guys,” he continued on the screen, “I'm not trying to discourage you. I’ve seen this happening a lot. With people that never danced together. Or never met before dancing.”

Wooyoung stole a glance towards you. Your face was expressionless, carefully listening to the choreographer's points. 

“In order to make my dancers have a more natural chemistry, I ask them to do a different dance. Don’t worry, it’s really short. I reckon in two weeks you’ll master it and can get back to your original dance. Just go with it and stop fighting it.”

Once the call ended you immediately got a message with the video of the new choreography you were told to do.

The video started with a sultry melody. As for the choreography? It was very sexually suggestive. Your original dance had a lot of touching and caressing, so it made sense why you needed perfect chemistry for it to not look weird. But this new one? It was something you never did before. A lot of floor steps that were very intimate. And oh so suggestive. How were you gonna pull this off?

Wooyoung was panicking. He didn’t touch you like this before. And he wasn’t sure he was gonna be able to without his hand trembling.

“Ok, let’s start I guess.”

You avoided looking in his eyes for the first time. You felt a blush creeping on your cheeks and fought against it. You were a professional. This is nothing.

That night Wooyoung looked through your Instagram page. He didn’t get it. You used to be such a nice and sweet girl. And you still were as sweet. Just not with him. 

He wanted to check the comments of your last before debut picture (very stalkerish) when he finally did it. Instead of pressing the comment button, he pressed the heart.

“No, no, no”

He got up in panic and did the best thing he thought of doing. Revoked the heart. It’s only been a few seconds. The notifications for sure didn’t come through. Right? And even if it did, what are the chances you are still active on that account? Right?

You were. 

You loved scrolling on your old account. You barely interacted with anyone on it and that’s why the notification startled you. 

It was from a photography and poetry account. You never even noticed when this account followed you. 

The latest post was a picture of the sky through a cracked window from two days ago with the caption ‘your words are grazing my heart like broken glass does to my skin.’

You liked it in a heartbeat, then followed the account.

Wooyoung’s phone vibrated in his hand. He got the notification of you following his secret page from your old account.

“Shit.”

The new choreography had some tough moves. In which both of you needed to rely on your own strength but also on each others’. 

One of these steps was requiring you to be on your knees on the floor. Wooyoung to slide on his back through your legs. Grabbing your thighs and lifting you and himself, while carrying you on his shoulders, and then dropping you to his arms. 

It was definitely an uncomfortable move that you had to practice a lot. It was risky too. And it wasn’t even the worst. 

And so you did. With every touch and caress from Wooyoung burning above your skin.

The same way every snarky comment from your side burned in his mind.

Of course you couldn’t help yourself. You would get even more critical and sarcastic the more you would feel threatened. And heated. 

After you went on your break, Wooyoung decided he desperately needed air to cool down. Jesus it was only the first day you were trying the new dance and it was killing him. How could he help himself when his skin tasted yours like that. 

He listened to your directions about going on the terrace you once gave him. Your building was huge and he couldn’t believe the whole floor was for you and your group. He turned left and left again. He heard a loud thump right before turning right on the tiny hallway. A faint sound continued to be heard. He approached the door, wanting to make sure nothing wrong happened.

His hand stopped on the door handle when he heard an almost imperceptible moan. The moaning continued in unison with the faint thumping. Mystery solved. And his cue to get back to his objective.

Much needed air. He didn’t need to know people were having sex when he was barely trying to stop a boner himself.

Cold air was blowing over him on the small balcony terrace that was as secluded as you mentioned.

Wooyoung stayed there for what felt like just a minute or so, when another man also joined him on the balcony. 

They only glanced at each other to acknowledge each other’s presence. Men. The other man took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Puffing slowly.

“I know it’s a myth but cigarettes after sex are still the best.”

Wow too much information, much?

At least Wooyoung knew that this guy was one of the people in the storage room. Not that he wanted to know that.

“So you’re the pretty boy, huh?”

“No?”

What was wrong with this guy?

“Look, there are only two people that ever come on this balcony and I sure as hell didn’t tell you about it.”

The realisation hit Wooyoung like a brick.

“Isn’t your break over?”

That motherfucker.

Wooyoung left Hajun before he could wipe his smug smirk with a punch.

Not that he could be mad that you were having sex. You were a consenting adult woman. But while on the clock? While training and practicing? How was that professional?

When he returned to the dance room you immediately rolled your eyes. The break was already over for a couple of minutes.

“Seriously what is your deal? You want to test my patience or what? Can’t you be on time once? This is so unbelievably unprofessional! We agreed to 15 minutes!”

“Seems that 15 minutes wasn’t enough for either of us,” he said barely a whisper trying to stay calm.

What did he just say? You were flabbergasted. Is he starting to finally talk back? What a horrible moment for that. And what even was that comment?

You decided to ignore it and just continue your practice from where it was left of.

Both of you were unprofessional. And both of you were blaming each other for it. You were blaming him for being such a pain in the ass and making you so frustrated, you couldn’t help but reach for Hajun. He was blaming you for being so mean and making him so nervous that he couldn’t function properly.

With every dance move, every touch he was exploding like fireworks. His shirt and sweatpants felt like paper. He was feeling every trail of your fingers on him as if you were following a gasoline path and igniting flames that were burning and consuming his being.

He was fine. He was fine. He was fine.

Just a tiny little boner.

Fuck.

He couldn’t ask for a break now. You were already pissed and he was sure you’d kill him (metaphorically or not) for daring to request to stop the practice so soon.

You were on fire too. Although making many mistakes, Wooyoung’s touch was so caressing every time. So soft. That you barely felt his contact through your shirt and sweatpants. As if feathers would gently kiss your skin, too afraid you may break.

You needed more.

He was laying down on his back. You were on top of him, trying to dance a new move that looked awfully much like dry humping him.

You are fine. Why are you so horny again? 

You are a professional. Which is why you continue rolling your hips. 

Dry humping is nothing. It’s driving you crazy. 

Not even when you feel him getting harder under you. You don’t want to stop. 

You are fine! You need to stop.

“Are you ok?” you ask.

“Huh?”

“You seem to have a small problem.” it was feeling anything but small. “Down there,” you deadpanned.

Wooyoung was mortified. How, why, and when. He was making sure he was subtly arranging himself in between moves when you were not looking.

You lowered yourself on your elbows, getting closer to his face, and staring into his eyes. 

Wooyoung immediately blushed, frozen in place. You could almost chuckle at his reaction. But you had to keep the appearances.

“Don’t worry, it’s a normal bodily reaction,” you whispered close enough for your noses to almost touch, “not many can resist.” you smirked.

You fucking smirked.

Wooyoung was so turned on he was certain he would’ve cummed in his pants if you wouldn’t have gotten off him and suggested to continue with a different move.

He was so embarrassed though. Not only he still had to deal with his boner. You were aware of it. And he was painfully aware you were. 

You were on your knees. For the move when he slides in between your legs. Until now, the easiest move and the least promiscuous. 

However, when he slid in between your legs this time, his head got stuck in your baggy sweatpants.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. Jesus fucking christ. You are mocking him again.

“So sorry. I think for this move i should take off the big pants. Don’t worry, I wear short leggings underneath.” you said winking.

Fucking winking. How much were you going to embarrass him today?

Your short gray leggings, more specifically booty short leggings, were thin and more or less you were wearing them as underwear. But Wooyoung didn’t need to know. It was your turn to mentally blush.

You were back on your knees and Wooyoung slid with no issues on the floor this time. Booty short leggings for the win!

“Wait, I want to check what I need to do with my left hand. I don’t want you fucking drop me.”

You bent over reaching for your tablet.

He could swear you were doing this on purpose. I mean how could you not, your crotch was not even 10 centimeters from his face. He was doing god’s work trying no to look. But he couldn’t help but notice the damp spot in between your legs. Which looked so goddamn delicious.

“Are you ok?” Wooyoung asked to which you didn’t pay much attention. “You seem to have a small problem.”

“What?” you asked, straightening yourself and looking down at him between your legs.

“Don’t worry, it’s a normal bodily reaction,” he whispered sultrily, getting closer to your core, “not many can resist.” He fucking smirked, making eye contact and immediately dragging his mouth over your damp spot. Payback time.

You stopped a gasp with your hand over your mouth.

Wooyoung continued licking your spot while maintaining eye contact. The look in his eyes being so different now, from the sloppy, careless, unreliable, spineless person from earlier.

You couldn’t believe you got so wet earlier. That he got you so wet. You admit he made you very aroused with that small dry humping session but that aroused? That you started to leak through your leggings? This will be the last time you don’t wear underwear!

With each lick you were getting wetter and wetter, and your leggings soaked with your arousal and his saliva, until the leggings became paper thin and you were feeling every flick of tongue.

Wooyoung was circling around your clit with lewd slurping sounds. 

The movement was making you crazy enough that you started gyrating over his tongue, making you want to moan. But you muffled the sounds with your hand over your mouth.

He was feeling so good.

Wooyoung grabbed your thighs, pulling them apart, which made you lower yourself on him even more. 

You could barely stand straight.

You were eaten out before, with no clothed barrier whatsoever. But like this, with your thin leggings sticking to your sensitive parts, soaking up your arousal and his saliva, with his tongue pushing harder and harder to make up for it? There was something about it that felt more sensual than any other oral session you received.

Wooyoung was enjoying this as much, if not even more, than you. Savouring every lick, every slurp, every drop. As if drinking sweet mead from the gods themselves. You were tasting as sweet as he ever dreamed. Not that he had dirty dreams about you. Or at least not that often. How could he not though? You were on his mind every day. And then you started to show the sexier version of you with the newer comebacks. And then he heard you moan on another dude’s dick in a storage room. How could he resist without imagining anything? With knowing how sweet you can sound. He wanted to hear you sound like that. Your sounds to be the anthem of his life. If only you could take that goddamn hand from your mouth and moan freely. 

You felt the familiar knot in your lower belly and clenched on nothing. You grabbed Wooyoung’s hair with your free hand to steady yourself. He gasped from the sudden pull of his hair. He didn’t expect it. You didn’t expect him to make such a delicious sound either. You wanted to hear more.

You continued rolling your hips with more confidence now, chasing your high. So close, so close. 

And then you exploded, feeling fireworks going off. You collapsed on your back on top of Wooyoung, gasping for air. What just happened?

Wooyoung swiftly got up and lowered himself on top of you. He was looking so hot with his face glistening from his sweat, saliva, and your arousal dripping on his chin. He licked his lips while watching you with dark eyes.

You couldn’t help but stare at his lips and tongue. Which just made you cum. 

“If you needed help, all you had to do was ask,” he grinned, a big shit-eating grin. The asshole.

You blushed the whole way home. You blushed the whole getting ready for bed routine. You blushed the whole time trying to fall asleep. You blushed the whole time scrolling on your phone trying to fall asleep. You blushed when you got a notification that your favourite poetry account just posted. You blushed looking at the picture - a steamed shower glass with a finger drawn heart. You blushed reading the caption - ‘your taste is the poison that kills me; your sounds are the hymn that bring me back to life.’ The universe was laughing in your face. part 2 | © 2024 gemini-stories All Rights Reserved.

[numinously-yours]

Pick a crystal: Messages from your inner child

I've been doing a lot of my own inner child work lately and really felt called to channel all of (well, as many of) yours as I could. This reading is looking at:

What did you need as a child?

How is your inner child now?

What do they want you to work on next?

I also gauged the time of your childhood that I think these feels really became a part of you - but the ranges are large and don't necessarily mean it's not for you!

Choose a crystal and see below the cut for your reading

Pile one, stability is the world I would use to describe what you needed as a kid. It feels like every time you ALMOST felt settled, your caretaker would get too scared to commit and you were off to the next place. You never got the chance to really make connection. Yeah, you've always had friends but you never had that connection that really showed you what friendship was. I'm here to tell you that all of the people you were worried about liking you are thankful you were a part of their lives, no matter the length of time.

I REALLY hope my intuition is correct about how your inner child is feeling right now. It is beautiful energy. It's either a relatively recent happening or it's happening very soon, but your sense of emotional fulfillment is so strong. Since this time in your childhood, you have finally started to understand what unconditional love feels like. I want to cry, pile 1! There is a huge sense of relief coming over me. You're realizing that it doesn't matter how long you've been somewhere, as long as you are your authentic self and you allow others to be their authentic selves, that is all you need space for.

What your inner child wants you to work on next is believing that others know this too! In your heart of heart, you know it's true. But you wonder if you're being an imposter of your own self. Are you making up that this is the truth?! Nope. This is only your ego talking. It's trying to protect you, but you don't need it this time around. Take your time learning this, remembering this, and giving yourself grace when you forget it. It will come back easier each and every time.

Pile two, I don't think you were allowed to actually be a child when you were a kid. It's not that you weren't able to have fun, but I think your parental unit guilt tripped you a lot and sometimes made you the parent. You may have heard phrases like "You don't appreciate what I do for you", "I'm a terrible mother/father/etc", "You'll never be able to make it on your own." It can be any parental figure, but I am feeling strong feminine energy. This person wasn't like this ALL the time,. In fact, you have a lot of fun memories from your childhood. You don't think your childhood was bad by any means, but you wish it didn't still affect you like it does.

I absolutely believe that you've grown a lot. I think this person still does this and, while it doesn't always get to you, every once and awhile you feel really let down. You may be having some trouble trusting your instincts, lately. You're wondering if you're saying "yes" to the people you love because you WANT to or if it's because you're going back to your old ways? Your inner child wants you to know that you're allowed to trust your gut. You will know when you're doing something for yourself versus for other people.

What your inner child may need now is the chance to grow on their own, without the influence of this person. It might be time to take a brief separation from this person if possible. It will be difficult, and you may need to grieve, but I think the grief is really toward letting your childhood hopes go versus feeling badly about hurting this person. I'm sorry you have to worry about this step, but it's so going to be worth it.

As a child, pile three, I think you have to leave someone you love and, even if you didn't have control over the situation, ou still feel guilty. For some of you, you feel like an outcome would be different if you never left. For others, you haven't had much contact with this person since leaving and you feel like it's something you did that didn't make you "worthy" of being reached out to.

Right now, your inner child knows you're putting in the work to heal this wound. I'm proud of you! Sometimes, though, when you feel yourself feeling unworthy, you can tend to be hard on yourself. "I know the cause of this feeling, so why can't I just get rid of it??" But you are doing a GREAT job of being patient with yourself. You're taking initiative in your own healing. You are continually finding new ways to take care of yourself. You are confident that there is always a way to make it through.

Next up on your healing journey is letting others help you, too. I think you are afraid that if you let someone get close that you'll just end up leaving them again OR that if you get to vulnerable you'll see why the person above never reached out to you, and anyone you let in is bound to leave you instead. Your inner child knows exactly what you've been working on and wants you to know that this work has made you strong enough to let someone else in.

Hey pile four. First, I wanted to make note that this is the only pile I felt like I was really talking TO your inner child versus asking the universe for information. While shuffling for the first question, I said "you're can tell me" ; while shuffling for the last question, I said "you're allowed to work on yourself, babe." I think things are feeling tough right now for you and your inner child and I hope this reading helps brings some insights.

First, something you needed as a child was someone to commit to you. You may be a child of divorce who split time between your parents' houses and there were multiple times where one of the parents didn't take you for their assigned times. If your parents/parental figures were together, it seemed like they could commit to everything else, but not you. They could commit to work and they could commit to other relationships, but never showed up for you. All you wanted was the adults in your life to just BE there.

At this point in time, you seem to be indulging in the needs of your ego. In an effort (conscious or not) to not worry about your traumas, you push your sad/angry/disappointed feelings into the shadows. What your doing seems like it should be fun, but are you actually enjoying yourself? Your inner child is telling you that you're holding back in an effort to protect yourself and it's time to think about what you REALLY need to help you feel better.

Pile four, you deserved to be loved the way you needed and I'm sorry that you didn't get that. But, it's not too late to love yourself this way. Be gentle with yourself when you start your new phase of healing. You have the capabilities to see beauty in the drabbest of places and you'll find the beauty in this, too. It isn't going to be easy, but damnit, if little you doesn't deserve this healing <3

[callmehere-iwillappear]

rec list (last updated: 10/22/23)

aka 'if you liked [cmh] you might also like [insert other really good fic here]' bc there are So Many amazing fics out there good lird

few things. first off if you see a disaster twins bias no you don't. second i tried to find all the authors' tumblrs but there were some i couldn't - if you know any of the ones i missed let me know!

aaand third, there are just. SO many good fics i ended up splitting things up. this is the rec post for multi chapter fics, here's the one shot rec post

Multichapter Fics

Complete

A Twin Thing (@minumi-chan)

Four times Donatello rejects Leo's notion of them being twins, and the once (and future) time he embraces it.

GOD THE TWINS EVER.... funny in parts but also hurts in the best possible way and thankfully has a happy ending to soothe the pain. i literally love them so much

Because We Could Not Stop For Death (@turtleinsoup)

After Leo dies, Donnie builds an android of his twin. After Leo dies, he comes back. He does. And Donnie will not ever let him go again.

very very very very VERY heavy please mind the warnings but god. god. another take on the 'leo dies in the prison dimension' concept that btw WILL make you cry. like a lot. absolutely incredible study of grief. i am never going to be the same person after reading this

coming right on back for you (@taizi)

Rise!Mikey’s portal in the prison dimension takes Leo a little bit farther than he meant for it to. 12!Mikey finds a familiar-looking stranger.

soooo full disclosure i haven't actually watched 2012 tmnt. that said even without that, this fic rules. incredibly soft and heartwarming. i love them

Corrupted Upgrade (@dandylovesturtles)

His brothers think they don't need him anymore? Well, fine. He doesn't need them either. The old Donatello is gone. He'll build a new one. One that will make them regret they ever threw him aside. Building things is what he's good at, after all.

i can't say too much without spoiling the twist, but oh MAN guys it's real good. come get your donnie hurt/comfort juice rn. also for a hurt/comfort fic it has NO RIGHT being so funny so often

Dimensions Apart & Home Again

"Who said I'm hiding?" Leo scoffs. Normally he wouldn't take such a sharp tone, but he's tired and not in the mood for what he feels to be an interrogation in his own bedroom. "You all know where I am. I live here, remember?" “Yeah, very funny. And you know where we live. But nobody's seen you for two weeks.”

ooohhh post movie hurt/comfort my beloved... leo is isolating and donnie kicks his ass. metaphorically. mostly. meanwhile raph and mikey are also having a certified Bad Time but it's okay they all get comfort by the end

Havoc, Thy Name is Donnie

Donnie accidentally turns himself into a child while experimenting with mystic power. It's cute until Donnie gets his hands on his older self's tech and then it's really uncute and Leo and S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. are having a heart attack.

child donnie is an absolute MENACE and it's INCREDIBLE. terrorizes leo. terrorizes shelldon. terrorizes some random criminals. terrorizes april. terrorizes draxum. all in the course of a single day. 12/10

how to get very good at juggling (@radishhqueen)

The Krang invasion put a couple of things in perspective for April. One of them was how much she wanted her parents to meet the Hamatos. The only difficult part is…getting her parents to meet the Hamatos.

the turtles meet april's parents! it goes... about as well as can be expected. REALLY good april centric post movie fic

little kid with a big death wish (@remedyturtles)

Leo's mind rebelled against the sensation. The heaviness burst into awareness, body, limbs, lungs, blinking. The middle distance he'd apparently been staring in focused. Leo was awake. Leo was aware. Leo was alive. Being alive wasn't something he thought he'd be.

genuinely don't think i could ever recommend this fic enough. mind the warnings as it does get very heavy but. god. idk how to express how much this fic means to me in just a few sentences but like. you'll understand if you read it (also for. an actual summary: post movie recovery fic with a side of extra leo)

Nothing Haunts Us (like the things we don't say)

The boys learn the hard way that truths can hurt. Well, some of them.

truth spellllll you love to see it! lotta post movie angst + some good comfort at the end + bonus the boys actually being emotionally vulnerable and talking about their issues (even if it's not 100% by choice)

Trial and Error (@apatheticrobots)

Leo ends up in the past. This changes some things.

YES the healing (well. eventually).... big fan of the leos' dynamic in this one. also that One Scene (the one with the animatic. if you know you know) gives me goosebumps EVERY time good god

Unfinished business

When one dies leaving something undone, there's a belief, that they do not go gentle into that good night. They linger on until they've finished what they couldn't while alive. And for four turtles, that business is using the Poltergeist movie as inspiration.

bad future ending but make it HILARIOUS. tldr the future turtles haunt the SHIT out of the krang. that's all i'm giving you because that's all you should need. they fucking rick roll them. please

Use Only For Intended Purpose (me!)

That's probably not how mind melds are supposed to work.

sorry for reccing my own fic do you still love me /j BUT FR if you like post movie disaster twins hurt/comfort with a side of dream sharing. i got u

Where in the World is Neon Leon?

Leo practices portalling on his own. This is not a good idea for many, many reasons.

set over the course of the show + the movie! aka leo trying so so hard to be seen as reliable and getting incredibly fucked up over it. also making new friends

write this down on my headstone (it wasn't what i hoped for) (@bottledovercast)

it’s as he drifts listlessly through the cold-as-shit hellscape that leo’s willing to admit, maybe this wasn’t what raph meant. aka: i do not believe for one second that there were No Problems in between getting leo out of the prison dimension and the final scene of the movie.

i genuinely do not know how to do this one justice with words. it's written impeccably and the hurt/comfort is just. chefs kiss. please read it (+ has a sequel now that's also absolutely incredible!)

In progress

At My Worst (@teainthesnow)

Future Leo ends up back in time, stuck in the body of his younger self, who is still conscious but trapped within his mind.

genuinely LOVE this concept like there's a lot of (really good) future leo goes back in time fics but i'm pretty sure this is the only one i've read with them sharing a body? god the dynamic is. SO good. one of my fave future leo + present leo dynamics ever tbh. just. chefs kiss

I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good (@dandylovesturtles)

Leo is cursed by a mystic whatever thingy. But don't worry guys, he's totally got this! Getting back into his body? Easy peasy. (He hopes it will be easy peasy.)

will smith poses fellow ghost(ish) leo fic my beloved! ngl this one kinda has a special place in my heart so i May be biased BUT even aside from that it's just. so good. the premise is so interesting and it's written super well and in character and also i would like to give leo a hug PLEASE GOOD GOD

I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? (@tangledinink)

When Hamato Yoshi is presented with the chance to return to the surface with his sons and give them a 'normal' life as humans, he takes it. He didn't think that they would forget about that whole turtle thing. But it seems kind of too late to tell them now. Surely they won't find out any other way, right?

human au! ... kind of. actually brooches au but they THINK they're human which is fine until, y'know, it's not. currently in the 'not' part of the fic and it's just going really great for everyone! you love to see it

In Which Donnie and Leo Make Themselves Everyone Else's Problem in an NYC That Isn't Even Their Own

It was a huge mistake on the Kraang's part to kidnap the wrong half of the wrong set of brothers and leave behind two very worried twins. And not just any twins. The disaster twins.

another crossover with 12tmnt which. again i have not seen, but like. this fic is just. REALLY good. it's set pre movie so there's not that trauma, it's literally just the twins fucking the 12 kraang up and living up to their nickname while the 12 turtles (and rise mikey and raph) look on in horror

i think i would prefer the prison dimension (@purplecatghostposts)

Leo gets sent to the Kraang Apocalypse Future that he really didn’t want to think about. Future Leo, Mikey, and Donnie are absolutely baffled by him. Nobody is happy.

you've heard of future leo in the present, now get ready for: present leo in the future! he gets dragged into the apocalypse instead of getting pulled out of the prison dimension back to his brothers and boy he is, understandably, Not Thrilled!

Last Grain of Sand in the Hourglass (@last-hourglass)

The one where the Hamato family is freaking the fuck out, Leo is lost in the Prison Dimension, and a very-time-displaced Leonardo refuses to leave his younger self behind. (Oh, and there may be some mystic hauntings afoot. You know, the usual result of messing with the space-time continuum.)

future leo gets saved while present leo stays in the prison dimension! there's A Lot going on in this one and half of it is BIG spoilers but just. oh my god. this shit is SO well written i am eating it

Mikey's Jam-Packed, Guaranteed to Get Donnie's Memory Back, Friendship Tour!

Donnie wakes up without his memory one day and everyone panics. They're just going to have to jog his memory the old-fashioned way! Through the power of friendship! [And a small (I was wrong. A very large) degree of violence and shenanigans]

donnie gets amnesia and SO SO MANY shenanigans ensue. also a tiny bit of angst but it's fine

Minor Interference (@bambiraptorx)

The turtles accept Draxum's offer to train them. Little does he know that they're only going to use it mess with him.

haha draxum accidental dad moments... well okay not entirely just yet but he's getting there! the turtles are PEAK teenager literally just causing problems on purpose and it's incredible

Mutant Ninja Midlife Crisis (@mutantninjamidlifecrisis)

In the midst of attempting to make peace with his death at the hands of the Krang, Master Leonardo is suddenly yeeted over two decades into the past, courtesy of his little brother.

YEAAHHH another future leo fic! mans gets dropped into the past and IMMEDIATELY kidnapped and brainwashed so things are going great (it's fine he gets better. you know how it is)

odd man out (@threestripeslider)

The one where Future!Leo somehow managed to luck out on a one in a million mere millisecond chance of a freak glitch in the space-time continuum that sends him back into the present, where the Invasion has been successfully driven back. And it looks like it was a one-way ticket travel.

DAD FUTURE LEO MY BELOVED.... he really took one look at these kids and said is anyone else gonna give them a third (3) dad and did not wait for an answer. also big fan of casey's high school adventures LMAO

Power Up

Leo also gets healing hands like his 2k12 counterpart. Sadly, they end up backfiring on him. Who needs to know though?

leo taking 'it's not about me' to the extreme. good god please get this kid some therapy and self worth. the AGONIES

The Lemonade Leak (@turtleinsoup)

The one in which Leo can’t sleep without his swords, because there is a monster in his room, pretending to be Donnie.

oh man. oh MAN. legit one of my fave fics out there. i'm not usually a big thriller person but this one GETS ME + the way the author writes the different perspectives is just. chefs kiss. genuinely has me on the edge of my seat every single update

The Neon Void

Five years. It's been five years. Hamato Leonardo was back. But he was no longer who he once was.

krangified leo! ... sort of. absolutely delicious angst and also i want to rattle leo's brothers. TALK TO EACH OTHER

Three-Sided Coin (@leglessstreetlights)

Highly self-indulgent fic where I put Leo, Future!Leo, and TurtleTot!Leo in the same room until they hug

what the description says! room is a bit of a stretch and present leo is fresh out of the prison dimension So There's That. some really sweet moments in this one though. tiny leo my beloved

this year we lost our dear brother leonardo

The aftermath of the Krang, and of pulling Leo out of the portal. 90% comfort and silly banter.

this is a series not a single wip but i'm saying it counts because i love it a lot. hope this helps <3 yeah what it says on the tin. immediately post movie family hours you love to see it

Times Five

Leo gets struck by a mystic beam that splits him into five parts of himself; literally.

god the TWIST. still losing my mind over it. the whole thing honestly. lotta dealing with leo's complicated emotions about the invasion and himself, really really good tbh

Write Me Well, My Love, Write Me Weird

When stories start popping up on various media outlets of the Turtleman, New York Cities own personal cryptid, most of the world shrugged. To the citizens of New York? fear, excitement, adoration for this odd and lovable creature. Everyone is quick to share stories and memories of their encounters, much to lament of Turtleman's older brother.

leo and donnie get spotted by humans (more than once) and said humans post about it on social media, as humans tend to do. raph is Not Thrilled. angst (and eventual comfort) ensues

[izzielizzie93]

High School Sweethearts Part 2-J Burrow

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

College! Joe Burrow x Reader

Summary: There's nothing like coming home for the holidays

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: None, some angst and fluff

This one is long & there will definitely be a part 3! Thank you to everyone who liked, shared, and commented on part 1 :)

-------

I’d be lying if I said moving to Baton Rouge was an easy decision; but I would also be lying if I said it didn’t feel right the moment I stepped into my dorm. I had gone earlier than most; because on top of becoming a Tiger, I had also made the LSU cheer team. 

I ended up waiting a day to respond to Joe’s text, choosing to send an emoji of a Tiger and a thumbs up in lieu of actually having the courage to say anything else. 

I unblocked him on everything and added him back as a friend shortly before graduation. We both knew we were mutuals again; but he never liked my new posts. It was morbid curiosity that had me scouring his Instagram and being pathetic when asking friends if he posted on snap.

I mostly did this late at night when I couldn’t sleep, afraid of my dreams. Sometimes I’d wake up after dreaming that Joe hated that I’d followed him to Ohio State and it would end with him breaking up with me and asking me to transer. Other times we’d be happy together and he’d be telling me he couldn’t wait to marry me after graduation. 

Both dreams felt equally horrible when I woke up in my cold dorm, hundreds of miles away from him. 

Eventually, the dreams subsided as fall term began and life got hectic just as I’d predicted it would. I grew very close with two fellow cheerleaders, Sasha and Emily, and they were great distractions. 

Of course, I’d gotten drunk about a month into school starting and spilled everything to them. I had opened up about some details of my life; but always stopped myself because it felt too personal to share with people I’d only known for a couple of months. 

Luckily, my word vomit didn’t scare them off and they helped me stop with my frantic scrolling of Joe’s pages and they even came over and stayed the night when I felt I was going to have bad dreams. 

—

In the month leading up to break, I had been dreading going home. I was hoping everyday that LSU would have a bowl game that weekend; but it was scheduled for the week after and we were all cleared to go home for break. 

I’d fallen back into the habit of stalking Joe online and nothing seemed to point toward any new girlfriends; but I still hurt my own feelings each time I clicked on his page.

“So, Y/N are you excited to be going home for Thanksgiving?” Emily asked as she sat on my bed, watching me pack. “Absolutely, I already have friends texting me trying to make plans for every second and I know my mom is going to protest and want to keep me home.” I felt myself smiling at the thought of being with everyone again. 

“What about-” I turned to glare at her before she finished her sentence. “I mean you know he’ll be there. You might see him.” Sasha piped up from her own side of the dorm. While I was happy that Sasha had become my roommate after the summer, there were times where I wish she hadn’t. 

“I know and I plan on being cordial. I’m going to treat him like an acquaintance and avoid him as much as possible.” I shrugged. Sasha and Emily shared a look and I did my best to ignore them before excusing myself to take a long shower, hoping Sasha would be in bed and Emily would be gone when I got back. 

—

Despite burying myself in schoolwork, the day to leave for Ohio felt like it came too quickly. I was doing my best to stay positive and remind myself that I didn’t need to worry about Joe, I had so many people I wanted to see. 

Once I’d landed and spotted my parents waiting for me, all thoughts of Joe left my mind. Seeing my mom cry wasn’t anything new; but seeing my dad tear up had me crying. 

They peppered me with questions the entire drive home and wanted to know everything about school, cheer, and my friends. I’d kept my mom in the loop, talking to her on the phone every week; but it wasn’t the same as being there. She and my dad had tickets to fly back with me and take a vacation in New Orleans before coming to see LSU play. 

—

Avoiding Joe was easy for the first few days of the trip; but then I was invited to a Bonfire party out at Oakley’s Ranch. Everyone who was home for the holidays, and those who’d never left, were going to be there and I didn’t want to miss out. 

“Wow, Joe is going to go insane when he sees you.” My friend Sarah gasped when I walked out to her car. “Shut up, this isn’t for him.” I glared, getting in. She rolled her eyes, knowing I was lying through my teeth. I did want Joe to see me and not be able to find a good reason why he ever let me go. 

I had on black jeans that hugged me in all of the right places, a black spaghetti strap crop top with a v neckline, black thigh high boots that I’d stolen from Sasha, and a bright red leather jacket. I’d curled my hair and done a smokey makeup look to match my dark aesthetic and I had on a bold red lip color. 

“Is that Joe’s favorite perfume?” My friend Kasey smirked as she got into the car next. After what felt like the longest car ride ever, the taunting ended as we pulled up next to the all too familiar Oakely barn. 

—

A couple of hours had passed and I was happily buzzing, dancing and singing along to songs with friends I hadn’t seen in months. 

I was so into dancing that I didn’t see a certain blonde haired blue eyed man walk in; but he saw me. “Holy shit, Joe is staring so hard.” Sarah slurred, pulling me in close. I let my eyes wander and I smirked when I caught Joe’s eye.

I downed the rest of my drink and excused myself to go outside to get air. I walked once around the barn and on my second trip, Joe was leaning against one of the walls. As I was about to pass him, he reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward him. 

Despite being in heels, I still had to look up as his 6”4 figure dwarfed me. “Can I help you with something?” I asked. His eyes bore into mine before he leaned down and pressed a hard kiss to my lips.

---

:)

@lh4455 @dessxoxsworld

[elcpsstuff]

The Summer I Remembered You (C.F) (Part 20)

even when I don’t, I almost do. Because I love you.

—

A/N: You guys i’m actually sobbing while writing this! The last part is here and i’m honestly feeling so many emotions right now. From the first chapter to now seeing how every character as grown just makes my heart absolutely melt ahh. This is the last part but when season 3 comes out who knows, there might be a sequel;) (no promises) !! I love you all sooo much and please enjoy this really long chapter <3

—

There’s not many ways to categorize Susannah. She’s not just a mother figure to me. She’s the beach house on sunny days and all weather accompanied and when I do a lot of things I think about her.

I’ll never forget the day my parents died. I might have been young but it’s one of the first things I remember. John and Laurel running to the house with Steven and Belly in the car, and a confused 6 year old waiting for her parents to get home. Come home to me.

Apparently, therapy sessions are the way to fix someone who was categorized as broken like me. I got taken to countless different therapists but what was I supposed to say? Like ‘yeah i’m pretty sad about my parents dying but i’ll get over it.’

The first summer that went by without my parents, I went to the beach house. I had gone two times before that but this time was truly my first visit. To me it was.

I don’t remember much, but I do remember Susannah. According to her (and laurel) I cried for hours in my room, assuming it was about my parents. Everybody left me alone until my whales became too loud and Susannah couldn’t help but step in.

She walked into my room, not forgetting to shut the door and sat on the edge of my bed. “Yn? Sweetie?”

“Y- yeah?” I covered my tears in hopes that I would just look groggy from a nap but I obviously failed, miserably.

“What’s going on?” She cooed at me while brushing some strands of hair out my face.

“I miss them.. my.. my—”

“I know you do. I’m sorry it had to be this way yn..” I still remembered her voice to this day, in that room. It was so soothing sometimes I requested her to come in and talk to me before bed.

“Can I tell you something yn?”

I nodded weakly, “mhm..”

She held me in her arms while whispering a soft melody in my ear before saying; “This beach house is as much yours as mine. Okay? Your here and apart of us now. Of me.”

I smiled at the thought before falling deep asleep.

I was always close with Susannah after that, as much as I could be. Sometimes summer wasn’t enough.

Now, i’m sobbing all my makeup off into the sheets Susannah picked out for this house. Conrad really was right when he said it— she’s everywhere and everything in this house. Picked out ever wall color and every single piece of furniture.

I used to love to look at the things Susannah did for this house, it reminded me of her. Now- I can’t even look at the walls without crying. Because soon she’ll only be a memory.

Belly’s cries in my ear were more heartbreaking than I could have imagined. Me, Belly, and Laurel were all stuck together on the bed like peas in a pod. Laurel crying was something I never thought I would see and now I wished I hadn’t.

“I just feel so stupid. This whole summer has been about me and Susannah had been dying of cancer.”

I almost wanted to tell Belly not to, not to say it. She had no right. But she did, because she really really was dying. That was the reality of the matter. I can only imagine Jeremiah and Conrad if we’re crying this bad. It breaks my heart.

“That’s how she wanted it though,” Laurel whispers, “One last perfect summer in cousins.”

One last perfect summer. Was this the end? It hit me then, maybe it was the end. Conrad would be going off to college in the fall and me, Jeremiah, and Steven were all going into our senior years. Even Belly was growing. She wasn’t far off from college either.

“It’s just not fair,” I add in, sobbing through my words. “Why does she have to go? It’s.. it’s..”. Horrible. Not fair. So many things that I want to say but my choked cries hold me back.

The door creaks open and a very sad looking Steven creeps into the room. His eyes are draped and tears stained his face. Shakily, he said, “She’s not gonna get better is she?”

When Laurel shakes her had no, my cries come faster as well as Belly’s. Steven runs to the other side of the bed and climbs in next to Laurel, tears dripping on her red dress. He was like a little kid, the way he got into bed and held onto Laurel for dear life, like every child held their mother.

It was just us 3, crying and crying and repeated murmurs of ‘it’s not fair’ and an occasional I love you.

—

Laurel cooking only meant one thing, we were fucked.

It’s no secret Susannah’s cooking has always been a fan favorite of ours, and not Laurel’s.

We all gathered around the table and for the first time this summer we felt like family. True and honest family. Me and Belly had changed from our dresses because Susannah didn’t want us to be uncomfortable, but the boys were still in their tuxes.

Everyone’s eyes were littered with dry tears and everybody was also blood shot red in the eyes. I’d never seen Conrad look so tired and broken, it almost makes me feel horrible for crying so hard.

He still looked good though, really good.

“Okay, guys.” Susannah clears her throat before gently pushing out of her seat, getting our attention.

“I.. I think,” Susannah’s eyes wonder to Jeremiah and Conrad before she speaks. Her face is glowing with a smile only Susannah has. It’s for her boys. Conrad and Jeremiah.

Jeremiah was her sunshine boy, the kind’ve boy that still hugged their mother even though they were probably too old for it. He was good to her. Not that Conrad wasn’t, not at all. It was just different. Conrad affection was deep and hidden but Susannah could pull it out of him. He would do anything for her, absolutely anything even if he hated it.

“I think i’m gonna do the trial.” Conrad and Jeremiah’s face lit up in smiles that I had missed dearly and mine wasn’t too far behind. It might have been a long shot, but it was hope. Hope that things could be okay. It’s no secret things would never be the same again, but if we could be okay, that was good enough for me. For all of us.

“It’s gonna work, mom.” Jeremiah says with pleading eyes and my heart can’t help but melt at the sight. He always had so much hope that things would work out, and as much as I wanted to believe him, I knew it all to well. I didn’t wanna think about it, though. Because loosing Susannah would be like loosing my parents all over again, but worse. I know Susannah, more than I ever knew them.

“It doesn’t matter,” Susannah grabs Laurel’s hand and squeezes it tight, “You all ate here. It’s the best thing I could ever ask for.”

And with that, we ate.

For the first time since the news came out, laughter filled this table. It filled our lungs and our hearts and I never missed Jeremiah and Stevens jokes. Conrad even threw one in occasionally.

This was good. We were gonna be okay.

Dinner came and went and it was late by the time we finished, but I was up like a hawk. At 11 o’click the house started winding down and yawns were heard.

I walked into the kitchen to grab my phone, only to see Jeremiah sitting at the counter. I knew I needed to talk to him. It was a long time coming.

“Hey..” I say quietly, but it was loud enough for him to hear me.

He smiles lightheartedly, “Hey.” I did not want to know if he was angry at me still because it would hurt too much. Jeremiah was amazing at holding grudges, which shouldn’t be a compliment but it sure does drive the other person crazy.

“So,” I tap my fingers across the counter in a state of worry, “Are.. we good?”

A sigh comes from his mouth, and I only can hope he’s not up to fight, because I sure as hell aren’t. “Did you know about Susannah’s cancer? Did Conrad tell you?” Those were the last words I expected to come out his mouth.

He was there, when I asked what was going on. How could he assume I knew? Was he that angry about me and Conrad that he would accuse me of hiding it?

“How could you even think that?” There’s no disgust in my voice, just pure sadness. He was bitter, bitter that he didn’t know. Don’t let him get to you.

“You and Conrad kept a lot of secrets, what’s one more?” Unlike me, his voice is laced with disgust and after the night I had tonight, I would be the last to deal with it.

“Right. Glad to know where you stand.” I spin on my heel but before I can reach the door a shriek comes out of Jeremiah’s mouth.

“I liked you, you know.”

I turn around and look at the boy in front of me with a puzzled face. He liked me? Are you serious?

Where was he when I wanted his attention? I remember the nights I would long for Jeremiah, when I believed Conrad didn’t want me. I might have longed for Jeremiah to try and forget about Conrad, but I still longed for him.

“Don’t do that. You like Belly.”

He shakes his head and my heart begins to accelerate.

“I know you used to like me too.” What was he saying? Assuming? This was crazy. Just fucking crazy and my brain can’t handle any more of this. “I know it was one summer. Conrad and you weren’t talking as much because he was busy with football camp. You got crazy jealous of me talking to Belly. I- I never believed I had a chance with you yn, so I never showed that I cared. But I did.”

It’s true. The summer Conrad was going into Sophomore year his dad had him on a constant grind for football. Make no mistake, I missed him like hell but I did gather some sort of feeling for Jeremiah during that time. It lingered, but as soon as Conrad came it was gone.

None of us were perfect. If Belly had some sort of attraction for both of the boys, would it be so crazy to believe I once did too? Not too long ago?

But it’s always been clear as day, who I loved. Love.

I always believed love would be gray with anyone else but Conrad. He made it golden. Shades of gray hidden in the sunset that would only come out for me, along with my feelings for him.

What was I supposed to say? He wasn’t wrong. I did like him a little bit, even at the beginning of this summer. But it was only because I hid my truth about Conrad. I needed to get away from him and shamefully, Jeremiah was right there.

“If I wouldn’t known- I would’ve maybe—”

“Jeremiah, stop.”

His eyes widen and this is the last thing I want. To cause this poor boy any more drama than what’s been produced. His face turns from hopeful and pleading to knowing. All fucking knowing.

“You love him, don’t you?”

My heart beat slows, and I look Jeremiah dead in the eye, making sure he knows the truth. I want him to know so we can get over this because I need Jeremiah, my buddy. Not a lover.

“I think I almost do.” Is all I can manage to say.

Jeremiah says nothing but only nods in response. It’s quiet for a moment before I begin to tread away, only to be stopped again.

“Just tell me this, if I would’ve confessed, would it had changed anything?”

No. It wouldn’t have.

“It’s been a long day, Jeremiah.” I don’t hear a response as I tread up the stairs.

—

My feet tread on the wooden floors, creaking noises coming every now and then. It was late. Half past 12 and like most nights lately, sleep couldn’t consume me like it used to be able to.

Luckily, I wasn’t alone.

Outside my door, I peered through another to see Susannah sat on her bed. She looked sad, so unlike Susannah. Something compelled me to walk in there.

Susannah was sitting on her bed staring up at the ceiling. It was almost weird— seeing her look so solemn. Like she had come to peace with it.

She smiled at me when I walked in and motioned for me to take the spot next to her on the bed. I did.

“Cant sleep?” She whispers.

I shake my head rapidly, because I can’t. I cant sleep knowing a women like Susannah is being put through this. She’s so pure, so pure in a world of evil.

“I don’t mean to bother you.”

“You could never bother me, special girl.” I already feel the tears coming on my face, and one stray tear dripped. I wiped it quickly.

“I’m so sorry, Susannah.” I sit next to her quickly. Her face turns sad and droopy which was the last thing I intended considering this day already didn’t go as planned. I needed to change the mood. “How.. how is Conrad? Is he okay?”

An all knowing smile reaches Susannah’s face, and I already know what’s coming next. “He’s doing okay. I hated him seeing him cry. I always do.”

That was the truth. I hated seeing Conrad cry too. It had only happened a couple of times, and It would always take me 15 minutes or so to recover from it. The way his eyes cried for help and were bloodshot red, almost like he was begging for someone to save him. I had wanted that for years. To save him and to be engulfed in his arms.

“I hate it too.” I whisper and a choked sob comes out of my mouth. Susannah, being Susannah notices right away. Always putting others above herself.

“He’s loved you since he was 10, you know.” Now it was her turn to speak through a yelp and cry. I broke at the sight. Tears were streaming down both of our faces but I was too delirious to care. “He came up to me, called you so pretty at a young age. You’ve always been his weakness, you know that.”

I shrug, “Things got really complicated Susannah, too quick and too fast.”

“Don’t let him push you away. He loves you. He’s in love with you.” Those words spilled all over me like a warm shower. Lathering me in love and affection, all by the man Conrad Fisher.

Susannah holds my arm, rubbing my thumb gently, “Do.. do you love him too?”

I don’t even wait, I just nod. Nod and nod until my head feels like it’s hurting because I do. I really do. He’s everything to me. It’s not often you find your lover and best friend in one.

He really is my everything. My Conrad.

“Yes.”

Susannah pulls me in and now i’m sobbing against her chest. Who cares if the house hears? This women is dying in front of me and i’ll i’ve done this whole summer is be consumed in my own drama. Belly was right, even if we didn’t know it we were selfish.

“I’m so sorry, I was so— selfish.”

I feel Susannah move her head against me. “No, no. This is how I wanted it. I wanted it to be about you girls. And the guys. I wanted all the petty fights and talk about boys because that’s what summer is to you guys. A time to just be.”

She was right. Summer was intertwined with everything good in my life. Conrad, Susannah, Jeremiah, and the rest of my family. From running on the beach at 7 and playing with the football and attempting to crash the boys plans with Belly at night. It was all so good. So right.

Susannah pulls me out of her chest and tucks a hair behind my ear, “Yn. I know this hasn’t always been easy. But your here now, okay? One day, when I’m gone—" I go to fight her but she shakes her head, silencing me. “When i’m gone, it’s up to you and Belly to keep the magic going. If anyone can, it’s you two.”

I hoped and prayed. I really did.

“Your my special girl, yn.”

We hugged for what felt like hours, crying and holding each other. Around 1am, I crept into bed, sobs occasionally catching my lips every now and then. My heavy eyes slowly found it’s way into some sort of sleep.

—

The tide was low in the morning.

I wouldn’t exactly call it sleep, what I got. More like an hour or so of being in this dream state. Where susannah was okay and wasn’t dying and that we would be coming to cousins like normal. Every summer.

He was there. In his suit still looking like a work of art. Straight out of a Taylor Swift love song (wildest dreams, to be exact. I would always rant to Frankie about how that’s his song.)

His hair was sloppy in the wind and his shirt was all wrinkled. That’s the thing about Conrad though. Even in the worst of times, he still looks beautiful. His blue irises don’t shine the same blue that Jeremiah’s does.

Conrad is dark. Dark dark dark and some more. Jeremiah’s blue ocean eyes hold some sense of purity to them. I could even get lost in them. They’re so bright with purpose. When I looked into Conrad’s eyes, the blue was different. So confusing and at times I feel like one day it’ll devour me.

He was a deep guy, Conrad. Something Jeremiah would never be, even if he tried his hardest to mold that personality of his. I could sit for hours and talk about the meaning of life with Conrad and he would sit and stare, maybe adding in his thoughts. Jeremiah would go on his phone within minutes.

It wasn’t a bad thing, that Jeremiah didn’t do that. He wasn’t Conrad, he shouldn’t have to be. But even If I tried to tell him that it would be too late, the complex already set so horribly in. No matter what anyone does it’ll be ingrained in him. I just hoped it wouldn’t consume him.

I plopped down next to him, digging my feet into the sand from how nervous I was. I didn’t know what he was gonna say to me.

There was a small gap between us, one that was definable but not to an extent. Conrad played with his fingers and for a moment it was just pure silence.

I liked the waves. They were calming.

“I can’t believe she said yes.” Conrad words are vibrant, more than they had been this entire summer. His face twisted into a smile and my heart melted at the sight.

I awkwardly look down towards the sand and make a little heart in it. “I mean- it’s all thanks to you. You changed her mind, Conrad.”

He shakes his head, “No, no, it was Jere. Not me.”

I gulp down the words that itch to come out of my throat, so many things I want to say. Where do I start? I’ve been in love with you since I was 10 years old. It’s only been you? Even when my heart tried to make me believe it was Jeremiah or possibly Josh, it was always you. How do I tell him that after everything?”

The silence became noticeable because he twisted his lips like he always does when he feels guilty or is out of words to say, to fill the void.

“I’m sorry for being so shitty, this entire summer.”

“I mean.. you were going through this all alone. I- it couldn’t have been easy..” I try and reason for him because I do feel horrible. It doesn’t excuse anything, but it makes it all just sorta make sense.

“Doesn’t make it right. Not for you, at least.”

His tone conveys something much more intimate than either of us are ready to take on right now. I get up off the sand, Conrad following my actions suit.

“Conrad… you- you really need someone right now and I just.. can’t be the person you fall on. Not after everything.” By everything, the love i’ve held for this boy. All the years and lies and the time we even had sex, it’s all too much. He’s either in or out, I can’t climb over and pull him half way. That’s on him.

“I need you.”

I shake my head again, “No. No more needing.” Want. I want him to want me. He reads my mind before tucking a strand behind my face.

“I want you. You know that.”

“How?” I whisper.

“Because I love you. I’ve been in love with you since I was 12. I- I don’t know when it happened, but one day it just came to me. I can’t shake it since. Maybe it was always there.”

Conrad fucking Fisher, pouring his heart out was not to go unnoticed. Rare were the times he showed emotion, and for anyone to take it to granted was crazy.

“And you think I haven’t?” My whisper is almost like a cry. Hadn’t it been so obvious? I loved this boy with every fiber in my body. My heart called to him. He was better than Noah from the notebook and better than Rhett. He was Conrad.

“I know you have. But I do too, I really do.”

Conrad’s fingers graze my cheek and I look up into his impossibly blue eyes. He flinches a little before moving in closer to me. My eyes linger to his lips and his does the same.

When our lips touch, I could’ve cried from the feeling. It was much different than any other time. It wasn’t needy or so heart gripping I didn’t think I would survive it, it was calm.

His hands cupped my face and we pull away for a brief moment. I don’t miss the smile he gives me before pulling me in for another one. I wrap my arms around his waist and he’s really making all the moves. Eventually I find myself playing with the backs of his hairs.

When we pull away, he still holds me, almost afraid to let go. A small laugh escapes my lips.

“What?” He says so softly yet amused.

“Nothing, I just…” Everything.

“I can’t believe your really here.”

—

Leaving cousins was always the worst. The packing, looking at the house once last time before returning for 9 months. This time as different though.

Fall comes round always too quick for my liking, almost like the seasons trying to rid out memories of summer. But summer was intertwined in all of our memories like a cord. Nothing would sever that.

Steven was an early acceptance into Princeton. After all of his hard work, Steven accomplished his 4 year old dream of walking down the school halls shouting that he got into Princeton.

Belly was doing good. Her grades were always subpar like mine which was something we always bonded about. Always lifting each other up when Steven drowns us with his smart antics.

And me? I’m currently sat in my car parked in the parking lot for Brown.

Conrad told me he’d meet me by these benches that he sent me a picture of, so I guess I would have to gauge off of that.

Once I got out of the car, I grabbed my bag of necessities while closing the door and locking the car. I smiled to myself and for a moment I was lost. Just fucking lost.

I can’t believe you’re really here.

Those words clung with me like the dust hangs to my shirt. That day is forever ingrained in my memory. I’ll never forget that moment, no matter what happens. It was almost like a promise, that this was really the beginning.

I began to walk through the crowd of people, searching aimlessly. I would spot him out in a heartbeat, but there were a shit ton of people.

That’s when I saw him, in this cute little stripped polo top, looks down at his phone. I’m guessing it was to text me but the excitement that fills my body is blocking off all of my conscious.

When he looks up, the biggest fucking smile covers his face. I start walking towards him and drop my bags, running into his arms.

“You’re here.” He mumbles into my shoulder. He was feeling me, I understand why. I had to touch his hairs to make sure he’s real too. But he his.

“Yeah, i’m here.”

Conrad takes my bag like the gentlemen he is, and the whole walk to his room he’s staring at me. I meet his eyes occasionally but look away for the most part.

Once we get to his room, I can’t help but notice how neat his side is compared to his roommates, Trusky. He wasn’t here, but It was obvious to tell who’s sides who.

“I was thinking we could maybe go for lunch or something?” Conrad places my bag down and then kicks his foot lightly against the wood of his desk. He looked like a little kid asking for a cookie.

“Whatever you want.” I say with a innocence to my voice.

Conrad smirks and I shut the door behind us. When I turn around, Conrad wraps his arms around me and spins me around lightly. I can’t help the giggle that emerges.

Conrad throws me on the bed right before laying down next to me. “I missed you so much.”

“Me too.” The glimmer in both of our eyes is something I would carry with me. The hope, the want. I knew this was our start, just the very first page. A sea of blue was conjuring in his eyes, and I was about to be sucked into it.

Instead of going to lunch, me and Conrad lost track of time and talked and kissed and did some more talking. It was refreshing.

“How’s Belly?” Conrad asks me.

I shrug, “She’s good. I mean, we’re good. I think her and Jere have been talking a lot.” Conrad raises his eyebrows and licks his lips. “You know what? I swore I heard them talking when I came over to the house last weekend.”

I smirk, “I think she’s happy.”

“He is too.”

The second me and Conrad got together, I told him about what Jeremiah said to me. He had told me not to worry and that Jeremiah was just being emotional.

But seeing Jeremiah so happy, it makes me happy. Belly, too. I think it warms us all a bit that we can all just, be.

“I talked to your mom the other day.”

A radiant smile, only that he shares for Susannah peaks through cracks of Conrad’s mouth. “Ah, really? What’d she say?”

“Said shes doing good. Also said your a fucking goofball.”

“Fuck you!” Conrad smacks my forehead lightly, always making sure not to legitimately hurt me. I loved that about him. “Hey, I have an idea.”

“What?”

I can’t believe this man.

When Conrad said he knew a place, I didn’t really know what he was talking about. I just went with the flow.

Only Conrad fucking Fisher would take me stargazing. That part of my heart was left for him. Only for him. He places a blanket on the grass and motions me to sit down with him.

It was a deserted little place, 20 minutes away from the campus. It was cozy.

I lay down next to Conrad and a small breeze hits me, making me shiver. Conrad wraps his arms around me almost instinctively, placing a kiss on top of my forehead.

“This is nice.” I breathe out.

“mhm.” Conrad hums and every now and then he places kisses on my cheeks and lips. I don’t stop him.

“I love you.” He mumbles in between kisses and eventually the kisses become more needy, more wanting. I felt the deja vu running through my veins.

Conrad slips a hand under my shirt and I pull away quickly. His face turns a crimson shade of red that even I can see in the night, “Fuck— I’m sorry—”

“No, no.” I place my hands on his shoulder. “I just uh—you’re the only.. my um.”

“Oh.” Conrad nods his head in understanding.

“I just, promise me it won’t be like last time?” Even though i knew this was clearly different, I don’t know if I’d ever be able to forget that night. It’s ingrained in my head, everything. Every move, motion, the way his hands curved my body, everything.

“I promise.” I smile and my hands slip under his shirt, slowly taking it off. His body was good, really good. Conrad always was beautiful but in the night was when I found him most enchanting. The way his jaw was extra defined and how his hair fell down.

Conrad is slow to pull my top off, and he stares at me in the thick of the night. “You’re beautiful.”

“Your stuttering, Fisher, have you lost you’re touch?”

“Oh your in for it now.” Conrad leans down and kisses me neck, inching down to my collar bone and a soft moan escapes my lips.

This was beautiful, he was beautiful.

My childhood best-friend, my Conrad.

I’d love him forever, every single part of him. I’ve laughed, Cried, hell, i’ve done so many things for him. But this is the beginning, I know it is.

I lean down to look at the infinity necklace hanging off of my chest, which Conrad has traced circles around. It’s true, I would go endlessly around those curves for him.

I hit myself thinking about how badly i wanted to forget him, but this summer only made me remember him.

Conrad Fisher.

—

THATS IT YALLLL!! I’m crying rn this story means so much to meeee :)) I can’t say it’s fully over because who knows what the future holds (thanks for the quote belly) But i love you all so much and I hope to have more projects soon! Also love that cheesy ass ending 🫶🏻

tag list: @kkrenae @callsignwidow @drikawinchester @johannelis2302nely @allnrsnz @galaxy13sworld @paytonloiselle @i-think-you-are-gr8 @imaspecialpersonwhoneedshelp @awatt31 @user0440822 @jackierose902109 @chocolatefartstrawberry @whoisjellyellie @apollo3475 @watercolorskyy

(tag list never works ugh)

[jienem]

His Human

Edited version

part 1 part 2 part 3

Stay tuned~

Y/N's time was limited. They got a letter from Epel saying that her grandmother is ill. She and her parents were starting to worry, so she was beginning to pack to leave. She went into the forest with a heavy heart and shared the news with them. Lilia, who looked at her with a sympathetic gaze, hugged her, to which she was surprised by the gesture and returned it with all her might.

"I wish for your grandmother's health to recover. Until then, see you again next time, Y/N."

"Thank you, Lilia-san." Y/N couldn't help but cry softly in his arms while Malleus patted her shoulder. His silent support encourages her so much.

"Y/N, we are always here for you. Don't forget that, Silver softly said, earning the bird on his shoulder to twit in unison.

"WE SHALL WAIT FOR YOUR RETURN NEXT SPRING." Y/N couldn't help but chuckle at his statement before mumbling.

"Next spring..."

~~~

"Grandmama, we're back. Are you alright? Are you in any discomfort?" Y/N asked the moment she sat down beside her. Her parents were outside talking to their doctor while she went in.

"Grandmama, don't worry, I won't leave. I will be here, okay?" she whispered as she watched her grandmother move her head slowly to look at her. The state of hers breaks her heart. She clasps her hand into hers as she hums, just like she did to her when she was young.

~~~

Y/N took over her parents business while they were away. She saw Epel, who was sitting outside the shop while he stared at the scenery in front of him. He was bored. She chuckled before joining him outside. He glanced at her for a moment before grumbling.

"Augh, it's so boring out here! Didn't you get tired doing all this stuff?"

"Haha... No, I don't even have a choice. Even if I did, what choices do I have?"

"Grrr, fair point."

Y/N stared at the sky with a troubled expression, watching birds fly and go before remembering she had to go into the mail station this afternoon. But alas, she was on duty. She looked at Epel, and nervousness was starting to creep in.

"Epel?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind sending this to the mail station?"

Y/N handed the letter to a curious epel, who stared at the letter.

"Is this the guy you met at what you called the valley something?"

"Nice try, it was actually Briar Valley."

"Ah yeah, that! So a letter for your boyfriend?"

"Absolutely Not!"

~~~

To an aspiring knight, Sebek

How are you faring? I'm sorry for the delay; I was kept busy for the most part. For a while, I took over my parents business and had to run some errands. I was constantly asked to look for my younger brother while worrying about my grandmother, who was still ill. It was a stressful week, to say the least.

But enough about that; how was your hand? You said it hurt for a while; have you applied the ointments that I gave you? Please let me know; I worry.

From Y/N

~~~

Sebek read the letter one more time with a soft smile written in his face before carefully tucking it into his breastplate without anyone noticing, but Silver noticed his gesture and smiled softly.

"Was it from Y/N?"

"WHA?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, Sebek voiced, attracting Lilia and Malleus nearby. Lilia grinned before teasing Sebek, who was denying everything.

"Don't be so shy, Sebek; it was wonderful talking to a Y/N, don't you think so?" Lilia teases while Silver nods before adding.

"She also makes delicious food every time she comes here."

"Agreed, especially when she brings an ice cream with different flavors." Malleus joined while Sebek was flustered.

"I... I AGREE WITH YOU, WAKA-SAMA, THE FOOD SHE BRINGS IS NOT SO BAD!"

"So you admit that it was delicious?" Silver questioned.

"Of COURSE NOT!"

"Then why did you agree if it wasn't delicious?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Fufufu, Sebek, don't be so shy and admit it, but who was better at cooking? Was it me or Y/N?" the three men look at Lilia's direction with a troubled expression. They soon both look at Sebek, who was under pressure with Lilia's question.

"HUMAN'S COOKING COULDN'T EVEN COMPARE TO YOUR SPECIAL DISHES LILIA-SAMA! WHILE HER COOKING WAS DELICIOUS NOTHING COULD COMPARE YOUR UNIQUE INGREDIENTS! "

"..."

"..."

"..."

"He finally admit it."

~~~

Y/N was in trouble. Her dilemma last year was beginning to root again when, in a mere month, it was spring again. Her parents didn't seem keen on going; they started to fight a lot more than before while she cradled her brother in her room while they fought. After managing some business, checking up on her grandmother, and watching her younger brother, it really took a toll on her. She was really looking forward to going back to the Briar Valley, but that was on the brink of bleakness.

With a heavy heart, she wrote down the letter with care. She sent it the next day while the sky was cloudy.

~~~

Silver watches as Sebek reads the recent letter with furrowed eyebrows.

"What does it say?"

"She couldn't make it back next month."

"Ah..."

They were silent. "Will you make a response?"

"After our training! I can't afford to skip my time to serve Waka-sama!"

"Sebek! Won't you make a response?"

Silver stared at him. He watched how his expression changed with different emotions before sighing.

"I Don't know."

"Why?"

"I Don't know," he repeated. He crossed his arms and stared at the ground while Silver waited for his response. Sebek pursed his lips before replying.

"I suppose it was because I don't know how to respond." For once, Sebek's voice was quiet. Silver patted his shoulder, offering him comfort.

"She would be back next spring, would she not?"

"She would."

"Then let's wait for her again, just like last year. Won't you?"

"Hrrgh, I supposed."

~~~

Months have gone by again, and Y/N this time saved her money in case her parents didn't plan on going. She was fourteen and about to be fifteen in a few months. Her grandmother was doing fine after a year of treatment. She stood by her side, watching her progress, and relief washed over her when she was finally released.

She helped her grandmother the best she could while watching over her younger brother. Her grandmother had an unknowingly serious look on her face as she stared at her granddaughter.

"Child, shouldn't you be at the Briar Valley this week?" Y/N stopped in her tracks as she stared at her grandmother with a wide expression on her face.

"Ah, I was planning to... But I would come back very quickly after a few days," She assures, but her grandmother only raises her eyebrows at her answer.

"You don't have to worry about us here, go have fun being at your youth, I will handle everything, don't worry about this old lady here, I will look after my youngest grandchild. Please, Y/N, my beautiful granddaughter." Her grandmama took her hands as she spoke softly while laying her forehead against hers, Y/N couldn't help but pause as she struggled to gulp down her sadness.

"Go, they are waiting for you."

Her grandmother whispered with a smile she knew so well. It was her expression when she was at her happiest, content, and complete. Y/N nodded, closing her eyes.

"Thank you, Grandmama."

~~~

Y/N knocked on the door, but no one answered. She was confused as to why it was quiet around here. She should have known, on the way here, it was dead silence. The animals that were scattered were nowhere to be seen. Sebek and Silver, who were often around at this time, were not present. With a downcast expression, she was about to go back when she recognized the two birds flying in her direction. They flap at her with glee. Y/N brushed her fingers against their feathers, asking where the two were. The birds looked at each other before flapping their wings. She had a troubled look on her face as she didn't understand before she felt a nudging on the back of her head.

She craned her neck and saw a horse neighing behind her. The birds flew to the horse's head before tweeting loudly. Y/N took it as a sign to sit on the horse's back before making its way somewhere else. She was nervious, she didn't know which direction it was heading from, but she trusted it was where the two were. Her surroundings changed into an opening field, stopping only when a mansion came into view. She got off the horse and caressed the birds before walking into the mansion door. She paused, debating whether to knock or not. But she knew she couldn't come back for nothing, so with little determination, she knocked on the door.

She waited. But no one seems to answer. Sighing, she tried again with a little force before moments passed and it opened. Behind the door, she was greeted by a tall man who had the same characteristics as Sebek. This would be Sebek if he got older.

Y/N was speechless for a while before asking. "Ah... Is Sebek here?"

The man watches her with curiosity in his eyes. Y/N grew nervous at his intense eyes before they flashed with recognition.

"You must be Y/N am I right, young lady?" 

She nodded in confirmation. The man opened the door, letting her walk in before closing it behind her. Y/N took in her surroundings and stared at the large painting hanging on the wall. It was Sebek with his whole family. This must have been made when he was just a boy back then.

"Y/N?" a familiar voice called out.

"Silver?" Y/N couldn't help but feel relief as she caught sight of Silver, who had droopy eyes from all of his sleepiness. Y/N chuckled whilst thinking he had not change a bit.

"Welcome back, I'm sorry I didn't get your letter."

"Oh no, I didn't send it recently. It was supposed to be a surprise, but it got backfired." She sheepishly rubbed her neck while looking around before turning to the tall man and bowing. Mumbling her thank you before he nodded. He turned to Silver and expected him to see their guest, to which he expressed his gratitude. Y/N watches their interaction before the tall man leaves. Silver noticed her fascination in her surroundings but her eyes tells a different story. He shake his head his head knowingly as he waited for her question.

"Ah, is Sebek here?" she asked as she lifted her head slightly to look at him.

"Sebek is at the library for a moment; would you wish for me to accompany you there?" 

"No need, I could go there myself." she refused. Silver then pointed the hallway on his left causing Y/N eyes to follow.

"Straight up ahead before turning left, there is a big door, one that is very different from the smaller ones you would pass by, that is the library." he instructed, watching how different emotions showed in her eyes before she smiled.

"Thank you so much, Silver."

"No, thank you Y/N for coming, it was the least I could do."

~~~ 

She opened the door knob, making a creaking sound while she pushed it inside. She breathed in the warm, dusty, woody air from the inside and went in.

"Sebek?" She called, but no one answered. She closed the door behind her, slowly walking around as she took in the number of significant books on the shelves. Her hands moved to the book spine, sliding her eyes as she read the titles. At the end of the books, she noticed a figure lying in the window nook. There he was. Sebek had a soft expression on his face, it was very different when he was awake. The book was resting on his chest while he inhaled and exhaled softly as the light illuminated his figure. She could hear her heartbeat pounding in her chest, and she couldn't take her eyes off him.

He changed. He was no longer the boy she met two years ago. His face also changed to a mature one, his physique was much more bulkier than before, and she could tell he was taller than her now. She slowly and carefully walked towards him, careful not to wake him up as she did. When she was at his side, she carefully pulled the book from his chest and was about to place it on the table near him when a hand shot up and held her wrist. Her eyes fluttered to Sebek quickly thinking he was awake, but he wasn't. He was the same as before, but his grip said otherwise. 'Is this one of his reflexes? She wondered. But she tried her luck and whispered his name, but his soft snore indicated he was still asleep. Y/N chuckled with a soft expression on her face. Before wiggling her wrist from his hold but to no avail.

She sigh and resigned into her fate while got comfortable at the chair near the window nook. His eyebrow furrowed as he mumbled incoherently. Y/N watches his form before humming a tune as she caressed his temple. She moved her head closer to his, her hair curtains the side of his face as she mumbles softly.

"Sleep tight my dear knight."

Hurrayy part 4 was finished, only one more to go! I had some major changes into the ending, often changes it before, sorry for the inconvenience!

But thank you all for enjoying this sebek x reader as much as I do I really, really, really, appreciate your support! I truly do!

Taglist

@growingupnrealizing

@fluffle-bean @luciel1 @hazukiix @worldussysblog @daruderuyoo

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Why Are Seers Always Cursed? (1)

Wesley Weston is a son of Apollo with the rare gift of prophecy.

Written for @crossoverdanuary Week 2024, Day three: Percy Jackson | Lake

Takes place shortly before Luke, Annabeth, and Thalia's arrival at Camp Half-Blood and while Wes is in middle school, so before the primary canon events of both series.

You can also read it on AO3

Chapter 1: Family Troubles

Next Chapter

[Warnings for implied/referenced infidelity]

Wes couldn't remember a time when his parents didn't have marital troubles. His eldest brother, Easton, claimed that their parents had been completely happy together once. Even though their mom's work as a flight attendant meant she wasn't home much, they were still happy and in love. Dad was holding down a job back then, and Easton had just started school. Kyle couldn't actually remember it, but he claimed to, nevertheless.

Then Mom came home pregnant with Wes, and everything changed.

They tried to salvage their relationship, keep the family together, but in the end, rather than staying together despite Mom's job, they only managed to stay together because she was away so often.

To his credit, Dad never took it out on Wes.

It wasn't until Wes was eight that he even knew Walter Weston wasn't his biological father. Kyle had let it slip when he was mad at Wes for winning eight games in a row of Guess Who.

He'd gotten angry and shouted, "I don't have to take this! You're not even my real brother!"

After the initial mess was sorted out, Walter took Wes aside and explained that he was his brother's half-sibling, that they had the same mother, but that Wes had a different father. He'd made sure to emphasize that he was still Wes' father, too, and that it didn't mean he loved Wes any less. And Wes had just nodded.

Everyone seemed surprised by how well he'd taken it, but subconsciously, Wes felt like he had always known.

Things settled down after a while. As Wes got older, as he learned more, he finally started to understand the real reason for the tension between his parents whenever his mother came home. Dad had forgiven her for cheating, but she'd still broken his trust, and no matter what happened, he couldn't help but wonder if she'd been unfaithful again while she was away.

Sometimes, Dad would get drunk, at a New Year's party or something, and he would get all sad and cry about losing the love of his life. Wes would help him to bed, and he would cry about how good a kid Wes was, and how he wished Wes really was his kid and it wasn't fair. And he would cry about Easton being so good in school and about Kyle having so many friends. 

It was embarrassing, but there were worse things for a drunk guy to be than sad and sentimental. At least he didn't get that drunk very often.

It wasn't until Wes was ten that he finally worked up the courage to ask his mom about his real—his biological father.

As long as he could remember, when his mother came home, she would sleep in the guest room. So one night after she finished her nighttime routine, he went in to ask her in private. Her face was covered in a pale green mask, and her hair was tucked up in a ring of curlers around her neck to preserve the shape.

"Wes," she noted when he came in, closing the door silently behind him like he thought he would get in trouble. "Hey, hon, what brings you here?" she asked. "You can't have had a bad dream already, you haven't even gone to bed yet."

"No, I... I wanted to ask you something," Wes told her. "I didn't want to do it earlier because I thought it might upset Dad."

"I see," she said.

Wes could tell already that she knew what he was going to ask, but she was waiting for him to say it.

"What... I mean... who.... Who's my real dad?" Wes finally got out. "Will you tell me about him?"

"I knew you were gonna ask someday," she said, a sad expression falling over her face.

"Will you tell me about him?" Wes implored. "Please?"

She sat on her bed and Wes sat down next to her.

"He told me his name was Apollo," she said. "But he was a musician, so that might've been a stage name. I never did get a last name from him. When we met, he said he saw me crossing the sky, following the path of the sun, that he'd seen it almost every day, and that I'd caught his eye.

"I still don't quite know what he meant by that. At the time, I thought he was clumsily trying to compare me to an angel, but I'm not so sure now. What I do know is from that moment on, I felt like I was under a spell, completely charmed by him. 

"We met a few times. I didn't mean for them to be dates, but he clearly thought they were. He would sing for me, and write me poetry, which would sometimes be good and sometimes not so much. His haiku was especially bad. Then one night... well, one thing led to another, and you were born. I never saw him again after that, so clearly he was only after one thing and once he got it he was done with me."

"Sounds like a jerk," Wes said with a scowl.

"I didn't think so then, but hindsight is 20/20," Mom replied with a nod. "In any case, my little foray with him wasn't worth the damage it did to my marriage. I regret everything about those meetings with Apollo." 

She looked down at Wes, all tense and nervous in his Transformers pajamas, and wrapped an arm around him to squeeze him into her side. "Everything but you. You were the only good thing to come out of it."

"Is it okay if Dad can be my dad instead of that guy?" Wes asked. "I don't want him to be my dad."

"It's more than okay," she said.

From then on, Wes' biological dad never got brought up. When Kyle got mad at him, he would sometimes, petulantly, refer to Wes as his half-brother, but never aside from that. Slowly, their parents finally started to truly patch up their relationship.

Then, one day, a few weeks before Wes' thirteenth birthday, he had a dream.

He dreamed that he was laying on his back in a field, soaking up the sunlight, and then the sun came closer and closer, and slowly, the sun turned into a man with golden blond hair, and tan skin, and a guitar on his back, and he knelt down next to Wes and kissed him on the forehead.

"Tell your mom I'll see her soon," he said.

Wes always woke up with the sunrise, but that morning, he awoke in a cold sweat. He waited until he could find a chance to call his mom without anyone overhearing and hoped to God that she wasn't in the air. He was pretty sure her flight had landed by the time he called.

"Hi, Wes, what's up?" she asked when she picked up. She sounded confused.

He couldn't blame her; he was confused too. "I just wanted to tell you..." he trailed off. 

Now that he was finally doing it, it seemed supremely silly to tell her that she was going to meet his bio-dad again soon. What would he even say? It came to him in a dream? That answer was funny in response to a math teacher asking how you reached a certain result, but it wasn't the kind of explanation anyone took seriously. Still, Wes felt like he had to tell her.

"I uh... I just have this really strong feeling that you may end up meeting my bio-dad soon," Wes bit out. "I don't know why, I just... felt like I should tell you."

"Honey, I haven't seen him in thirteen years," his mother reassured. "I don't think either of us has to worry about me running into him again after all this time."

"But—"

"I'll tell you what," she said. "I'll make sure to keep an eye out for him just in case, and I promise if I see him, I'll turn the other way. Okay?"

"No, you need to talk to him!"

There was a stunned silence on the line. Wes didn't even know why he said that.

"Why?"

"I... I don't... he has something important to tell you." Why was Wes still talking? Where was this coming from? Why couldn't he just shut up?

"What are you saying?" his mother asked. "Have you heard from him? Did he contact you somehow?"

"No it's just... I can't explain it, okay just... please mom."

After another long pause, she finally said, "Alright... if you say so, hon. I trust you."

The next time his mom came home, the day before Wes turned thirteen, she walked in the front door with a tight smile. She spoke only in short sentences. It seemed like her mind was far away, occupied with something else.

That night, Wes and Kyle heard yelling from their parents' room for the first time in a long time. Mostly their father. Walter Weston rarely lost his temper, so for him to be yelling like this, it had to be about something serious.

"Don't tell me she did it again?" Kyle said with a sneer.

Wes didn't dignify that with a response. He pressed his ear to his own bedroom door and tried to make out what they were saying. The words were muffled, and he didn't catch most of it, but he did hear a few things.

"... my kid, not his!" in his father's voice. And, "He doesn't get a say!"

Then his mother, whose voice hadn't been loud enough to hear up to this point shouted back, "But what if Wes is in danger!?"

Wes' breath hitched. Was something going to happen to him? Had his mom actually met his bio-father? Had he threatened Wes in some way? 

Wes strained his hearing to listen, but the voices had gone silent. When they picked up again, it was at a much lower volume, and he couldn't make out a single word of what they were saying. That night, he laid awake worrying, unable to sleep. When dawn broke, he gave up on trying and got out of bed.

He wished basketball season wasn't over. That would give him an excuse to leave the house and go to school for early morning practice. He scored the most three-pointers of anyone on the team, and getting praise from his coach and teammates was always a morale booster. He could really use something like that about now, rather than just stewing in his anxiety while he got dressed.

When he left his room, his mom and dad were already awake, sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Wes, honey, we need to talk to you," his mother said gently.

Wes' first thought was, 'You're getting divorced and it's my fault,' but he knew instinctively that that wasn't the case. He also somehow knew that the real reason they wanted to talk would be arguably worse.

"Why don't you have a seat, son," his father said.

He called me son, Wes thought as he cautiously sat down across from them, whatever this is must be really serious.

"I don't know how you knew," his mother began, "But as it happens, I did run into your biological father again, the day after you called me, in fact. And he did have something important to tell me. It was a warning."

"What kind of warning?" Wes asked. "Did he threaten you or something? Did he threaten me?"

"No, no... well, not quite," she said.

"He told her you were in some sort of danger," his father cut in. "I don't know if he has enemies or something and he's worried about them finding you, or what, but he said that he was sending someone to come get you and take you to some kind of, I don't know, protective custody or something?"

"He said it was a private summer camp in Long Island," his mother clarified. "Somewhere where you'd be safe and protected. He seemed very serious about this, it was unlike him. I did some research already, and it's definitely legitimate. I arranged a flight to New York for you and whoever he sends already. They should come for you as soon as the school year is over."

"That's it?" Wes asked. "Nothing about what kind of danger I'm actually in, or why? Man, if I thought this guy was a jerk before, I know he is now."

"Are you saying you won't go?" his father asked. His voice was hopeful, but his expression was conflicted. He didn't want his son to leave, but he didn't want him to get hurt either. "There's no real evidence you're in any danger aside from this random man's word."

"I don't want to take that risk," his mother said pointedly.

"I'll go," Wes said. "It's just for the summer, right? Then I can come home again?"

"That's right," his mom said.

"Then I'll go."

School ended three weeks later, and a lanky man came to pick Wes up at the end of the day. He wore baggy slacks, a dark striped button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and an unbuttoned gray vest. A flat cap covered his curly brown hair. He looked like he belonged on a street corner selling newspapers. He stuck out like a sore thumb in front of a school. 

His eyes zoned in on Wes the second he stepped out of the school building.

"Wesley Weston, right?" the man said once Wes was close enough to hear him. "Name's Melvin Barkley, your father sent me to get you."

"Don't call him that," Wes grumbled. "I didn't realize you were gonna come get me right when school ended. We gotta stop by home and pick up my bag."

"Can do," Melvin said amiably. "Lead the way."

Wes wasn't sure if he'd been sent as a sort of guide, or as a body guard, but he was particularly laid back for someone in either profession. When he walked, he walked with a strange gait, and his eyes darted around every few seconds before fixing solidly back on Wes.

School ended early on the last day. When Wes got back home to pick up his bag, the place was empty and all the lights were off. He didn't turn them on. It felt like it would be wrong somehow. 

Kyle had gone to the skate park with his friends the second the final bell rang. Easton wouldn't be coming home from his first year of college until tomorrow. Mom was on a flight to Germany right now, and wouldn't land for another eight hours. And Dad was still at work.

Wes wasn't going to get the chance to say goodbye. Instead, he wrote a note and ended it with, See you all at the end of summer! Love, Wes

[anxious-witch]

Inertia 6

Summary: Newton's first law expresses the principle of inertia: the natural behavior of a body is to move in a straight line at constant speed. In the absence of outside influences, a body's motion preserves the status quo.

Jan choose a direction of his life the moment he walked out of his parents house and cut all contact with them. He didn't want anything to do with them, or God anymore. Even his soulmark he wished he could leave behind. But when Nace Jordan joins the band, with a mark matching his own, can Jan keep going the same way he did? Or will the force make him change a direction?

Pairings: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

Warnings: Warning for mentions of religions trauma as per usual, but other than that…I think we might not have any other upsetting things here? Shocker, I know

Notes: AO3 link

A couple of things. First of all, this is second to last chapter! Congratulation to everyone who made it this far with me, I cannot believe I actually got this far into this fic. That said, next update might happen on a Sunday rather than a Saturday, due to my uni assignments. I will try my best to make it in time, but y'know, better safe than sorry.

But yeah! Finally, we are getting to some hurt/comfort and some talking! Enjoy it, you've earned it with all the angst

"I'm not too gone to be healed, am I? I'm not too gone am I?"

- Alice Notley, from In The Pines: Poems; "In The Pines,"

Jan slipped back to consciousness slowly. He firstly became aware of how heavy his body felt. Then of how dry his throat was.

He struggled to open his eyes. They were heavier than usual. It reminded Jan of how it felt to fall asleep while crying. Wait…was he crying?

That made his recall the events of the previous night and he jerked upright. Which proved to be a bad idea because he immediately felt his head pound.

"You have water and a pill on the table. I will start making coffee," Kris said, peering from the kitchen.

Every day, Jan was more convinced Kris was an angel. Jan owed him an apology and a hug. Once his head stopped pounding, though.

So he took the pill and drunk the water. Living room was only partially lit up, for which Jan was also grateful. Anything bright certainly wouldn't help.

Kris came back and pressed the warm coffee cup in his hands. His coffee cup. Jan stared at the dark red cup, trying to recall when he started having a cup that was only his in Kris' place.

All the cups in his parents' house were the same. Pure white with a golden circle near the rim. One of them slightly chipped at the rim and Jan used it all the time, until his mother noticed and threw it away.

There was probably something to be said about him liking things that are different, even if they are a little damaged.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he said, staring at his coffee.

Kris sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, Jan saw him tap his fingers against the couch. His typical nervous gesture.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize things have gotten so bad. I don't-I don't think I ever saw you react the way you did last night. God, Jan, you were terrified and you were paranoid and I-"

Kris took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. For a few seconds he didn't speak at all. Jan would have, but he knew Kris wasn't finished talking. So he stayed quiet, giving Kris time to compose himself.

"I think you need to start seeing a therapist. And you have to talk to Nace. I can be there when you do, but for fuck's sake, Jan. I texted him yesterday after you fell asleep and he wasn't okay."

Jan began picking on his already ruined nail. Kris was right. He knew he was right. But Jan was terrified of this very thing for so long, he wasn't sure he would be able to just face it head on.

"What if I can't?"

He finally met Kris' eyes. His blue eyes that were too clear to hide anything, but always had the ability to burn right through you, to see to the very core of you.

Was it a blue eyes thing? Or did Kris and Jure simply share that trait?

"Yes, you can. You are one of the strongest people I know. But it's not weak to ask for help, Jan. Don't let your parents ruin this for you."

Jan pulled him in a hug. Kris froze, clearly not expecting it, before he melted into the embrace.

"Thank you. For everything."

Kris chuckled, but Jan heard a slight hitch to his breath. Almost like he was tearing up.

"Why do you make it sound like I will never see you again?"

Jan hugged him tighter.

"I should have said it earlier. Although, there is always a plan on moving to Antarctica if everything goes south."

Kris laughed and then he was the one crying. So Jan did the same as Kris did to him last night-he held him. They both felt fragile.

Kris showed emotions more easily than he did, but Jan also thought he never truly let himself experience them to the depth that they really ran. When he cried, he didn't sob, instead letting tears run down his cheek in a manner that seemed almost glorified. Where someone would look at him and still think he was pretty.

Jan preferred to either fall apart fully or not at all.

"You really fucking scared me, you asshole. Don't do that again."

He rubbed Kris' back in slow, comforting motions. His mind was starting to go through possible options, but it was still too clouded with panic for him to come with a solid plan.

"I don't know what to do now," he admitted quietly, "I don't know how to even talk to him. What to tell him."

Kris slowly pulled back, but he still kept his hand on Jan's shoulder.

"Let's go step by step, okay? Go home, eat something. Have a shower. Then call him. Don't text, call him."

Jan made a face. He did hate phone calls with burning passion. They were awkward at the best of circumstances. These were certainly not the best of circumstances.

"I know you hate phone calls. But in these kinds of situations, messages can be easily misread. So call him and set up a time to meet. As for what to tell him...I don't have a better advice than telling him the truth."

Jan buried his face in his hands. The truth? What was the truth at this point? He wasn't even sure he knew himself.

"That's about as helpful as telling me to just breathe underwater."

Kris sighed.

"How about you do the rest first and then look at the situation again? As much as I hate to say it...sometimes you have to jump first and ask questions later."

"Fine," Jan said sourly.

He doubted he'd come up with any better plan just by showering and eating, but he saw no point in arguing. So he hugged Kris one more time and went home. This time with his bag and keys.

He did everything Kris said, but he felt no closer to the solution on how to approach Nace. His phone laid on the table, screen up. Jan stared at it as if it was a time bomb.

Nace didn't try to contact him. Except for few phone calls from yesterday after he ran off, but nothing today. Whatever Kris told him clearly made him wait for Jan's move.

Jan wished he wouldn't. He didn't know what to say.

He grabbed his bag and out his phone in it and then went outside. Perhaps a walk would clear his head.

It was cold and gloomy outside. The fog settled heavy over the city, and Jan only saw few meters ahead as he walked. Still, that didn't stop him.

He walked and walked, until his feet hurt. Then he spotted a nearby bench and sat on it, catching his breath. He still felt lost. He wasn't even sure he knew exactly where he was, as lost in thoughts as he was while he walked.

A sound of church bells snapped him out of it. Jan flinched, looking around with wide eyes. Was he hallucinating again?

But, no. There stood a church, cloaked by the fog. And Jan felt compelled to get closer. So he did.  He got all the way to the church, close to the entrance. Only then he stopped, frozen in place.

He could hear the wait sound of a mass going inside. There was no way he was going inside, but he could listen in. He leaned on the wall of the church and closed his eyes. Just listening.

It was hard to tell how long he stood there, listening in. He was so focused on it he missed the sound of steps approaching him.

"I am sorry, young man?"

Jan's eyes flew open, his heart leaping in his throat. A man stood in front of his, peering at him worriedly. For a brief second, Jan thought he was a priest, but on a second glance he realized he was actually a deacon, his clothes giving him away.

"Um. Right, sorry. I should probably leave," Jan said awkwardly, pushing himself from the wall.

"No, no need. I just thought you might be more comfortable inside. It is quite cold out here."

Jan bit his lip. Dread settled in his gut once again. He didn't think he could make himself go in. Face the inside of the church, the prayer. It was still to raw.

"No, thank you. I don't think I'd be welcome, either way."

"Everyone is welcome into the church."

He couldn't quite stop the sharp, bitter laugh that escaped him.

"Right. Of course. Everyone is welcome as long as they can obey your rules, no?"

Deacon gave him a long, pitying look. Jan felt his skin crawl. If he hated one thing, it was pity. He turned his head away, but before he could walk away, deacon spoke again.

"There are God's guidances, of course, but I wouldn't call them rules. Rules sound so rigid and human life and morality are so easily bent by situations we find ourselves in."

Jan stared at the man before him. He had never, ever heard someone religious, someone connected to the church, speak in such a way. Nace came the closest and even then, it wasn't the same.

"You-so what, "You shall not kill", is simply a guidance?"

Deacon gave him a gentle smile.

"Some are stronger than the others. But in a situation where it is self defense, is that truly a sin? A mother killing someone while protecting her child, is it something that should need forgiving? We are just human, after all."

He swallowed. This felt surreal. Like he was within a dream, and he was talking to his own subconscious.

Whatever it was, the unreality of it made Jan wanted to ask more question. He wanted to know more. He could always walk away, couldn't he?

"So...if almost everything is subjective, how can you know if you are doing a good or a bad thing? How do you...know what's right?"

Deacon patted his own chest.

"Most of us have the ability to feel right or wrong. There are exceptions of course, but there are usually other reasons for it. We all have...inner guidance, so to speak. No matter if you see it as given from God, or simply a part of you, it can help you decide on what's right thing to do."

Jan exhaled slowly, watching his breath curl like smoke in the air. His own chest felt frozen, but as he focused more, he swore he could almost feel a tug. A spot of light.

He needed to go to Nace. To be honest with him. To tell him-

His fear extinguished his hope almost immediately, cloaking him in darkness. Jan squeezed his eyes shut. He was too damaged ti be fixed.

"What if...what if it's too late to do the right thing? What if it's too late to fix me?"

The other man didn't say anything for a moment. The only sound came from a church choir. Jan felt his heart sink.

"It is never too late. Not unless we are dead. And perhaps, not even then."

Jan's hand drifted underneath his hair, to his soulmark. He traced it, almost hesitantly. He did his best to forget it was there for so long, it was odd to acknowledge it.

"I can't be anything other than what I already am."

He opened his eyes to see deacon giving him another soft smile. It was odd, how honest he was being. He supposed the fact that the other man didn't know who he was helped. To him, he could be anyone.

"Have you tried? To be another person?"

Jan furrowed his brows.

"I don't understand."

The deacon nodded.

"We can't become new people overnight. But we can do things that'll help take us in the right direction. Is there anything you can do to fix your mistake right now?"

He took in a deep breath in. Then exhaled slowly.

"I could talk to my soulmate. But I don't know if I can be what he needs."

Jan realized that the right pronouns tumbled from his lips too late. He froze, but the deacon's face didn't change. If he was phased, he didn't show it.

"Well. You can't know unless you talk to him, can you?"

Jan chuckled, almost surprised that he didn't immediately change his answer. What parallel reality did he walk into?

"I suppose not. But won't you tell me that my soulmate can't be a man?"

Deacon shook his head.

"God gives us our soul’s companions for a reason. Who am I to question God's decision of giving you two a soul bond, regardless of the gender?"

He swallowed. There was something else he needed to ask. He always had to keep prodding, didn't he?

"And what if...what if I don't believe in God anymore?"

Deacon reached his hand out and tentatively put his hand on Jan's shoulder. Jan expected to feel uncomfortable, but he wasn't. It was simply a warm touch.

"They are different ways to believe. Some of us need more guidance to get through life. From God, from the church from others. Others simply need to live and be happy. Is it not God's will for all of us to live to our fullest potential, no matter which path we take?"

Jan suddenly found it hard to swallow. His eyes stung and he closed them, willing himself not to cry. He took in a shaky breath.

"Can it really be that simple?"

Deacon squeezed his shoulder gently.

"Life is simple, once we learn to let go of things that weight us down."

Jan took another deep breath before opening his eyes. He met deacon's kind gaze.

"Thank you."

He got a pat on the shoulder before the other man let go.

"We all need a bit of extra guidance sometimes. I wish you your best in your pursuit of happiness."

Jan nodded, a lump in his throat too heavy for him to say anything else. Yet, despite it all, when he turned and began to walk back, he felt lighter than he did in a very, very long time.

He wasn't sure what made him come up directly to Nace's doorstep. He was holding a box of gluten free cookies in hands that he had picked up during his small detour on the way here. Suddenly, he wasn't sure why he had gone to get them at all, but it wasn't important. He was here, at Nace's front door. That was the part that mattered. He could leave the cookies for someone else if Nace didn't want them.

He rang the doorbell before he could change his mind. It echoed through the apartment for a moment, before he heard a sound of footsteps on the other side of the door. Then the door opened.

Nace stood in the doorway. He wore a dark green hoodie and sweatpants, his hair in an unusual disarray. There were dark circles under his eyes and Jan couldn't help but wonder if he slept at all.

"Hi," he said, awkwardly holding up a bag of cookies, "I bought cookies. They are gluten free."

Nace stared at him, unmoving. He opened his mouth and closed it few times before clearing his throat.

"What are you doing here?"

Jan shifted from one foot to the other. It was the moment of truth, he supposed.

"I wanted to talk to you. May I come in?"

There was a brief hesitation before Nace stepped back and allowed Jan to come in. The doors closing with a soft click felt more significant than it should have been.

Jan wordlessly handed Nace the cookies while he took off his boots and a jacket. Nace simply watched him, as if trying to comprehend Jan was really here. He supposed he deserved that.

Nace led him to the dining room instead of the living room. Which was odd, but Jan didn't question it. He got them both glasses of water before sitting across from Jan.

Oh. He choose this because he could face him more directly. Jan let his hair fall over his face a bit, suddenly uncomfortable under Nace's heavy gaze.

"So," Jan said awkwardly, "about yesterday. I'm sorry."

A paused. Nace stared at him, as if prompting him to continue, but Jan didn't know where to begin with explaining himself.

"Is that it? You came here to tell me you are sorry for running off?"

Jan winced. Nace's usual patience seemed to not be present today. Just when Jan needed it the most.

"No. I just-maybe it would be easier if you asked me things and I answered? I don't know where to begin."

Nace chuckled, but not in his usual, heartfelt way. He sounded tired.

"Alright. How about, why the fuck didn't you tell me? You had to know."

Jan shrugged. He felt uncomfortable in a way he didn't in awhile. So he answered the first thing he thought of. His go to answer on the topic.

"Didn't seem that important to me. I don't exactly believe in all that soulmate stuff anyway."

That was clearly the wrong thing to say. Nace's gaze sharpened. His mouth twisted in an angry grimace.

"So what? I am good enough to fuck, but not good enough to be your soulmate?"

"No!"

Jan reached out, to grab Nace's hand, but stopped himself just short of making contact. He let his hand fall back to the table.

"No," he said softer, "that's not how it is at all."

"Then explain to me how it is."

Nace's voice was almost forceful, slamming into Jan's chest like a punch. Jan closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on that little shed of hope he still held.

"I lied. I don't see soulmates as bullshit I just-I wish I did. I wish I could not care at all and that I could hate you and that by refusing you by refusing this make my parents be wrong."

He took in a shaky breath. Nace didn't say anything so he continued.

"Because feeling like I was incomplete without you, without some divine intervention seems so fucked up to me. Because I choose to play in a band because my parents didn't approve and didn't like that it took away from my time in the church. And yet that being a thing that led me to you is so frustrating! Did I have any free will at all?"

Jan finally opened his eyes again, taking in Nace's expression. Nace was pale, and his brows furrowed, probably trying to follow his thought process.

"Alright. So let me see if I got this right. Your parents had harmful religious views on soulmates so you don't want to even consider this, us, because you feel like you had no choice in the matter?"

That wasn't quite a fair assessment of what he said, but Nace wasn't entirely wrong, either. As much as Jan wanted to fix things, it was hard to get past the feeling of helplessness.

"I'm-not quite but I suppose that's a gist of it. I don't have anything against you, not really. But I hate not having a choice in any of this."

Nace lifted one eyebrow.

"You mean, like not giving me any real choice in the matter by not telling me a very important detail?"

Fuck. That wasn't fair.

"That's not the same."

Nace shrugged.

"Isn't it?"

Jan struggled with what to say to that. Isn't it the same? Was he truly taking away his choice in all of this?

"Let me ask you something. Did you find me attractive when we first met? Ignore the soulmark, ignore everything else."

He swallowed, blush slightly painting his cheeks as he remembered Martin's comment about him checking out Nace during their first encounter. He definitely found him attractive from the start.

"Yes."

"And if there was no soulmark involved, would you have acted upon it at some point?"

His answer came in an instant. Absolutely. Jan was certain of it. He still would have taken some time to observe Nace, but without having to be cautious of the soulmark, he would have certainly acted earlier.

"Yes."

Nace leaned in, his breath ghosting over his face and Jan had the urge to pull him even closer. Instead, he was frozen in place, staring at those dark eyes.

"So by insisting on hating me, you are, in fact flat out refusing for anything to happened between us because of the soulmark. Not because you don't like me. How is that a natural choice on your part?"

Jan could hear his own blood ringing in his ears. Felt his heartbeat. Thud, thud, thud. It sounded like everything around him crashing down.

"I-" he swallowed, then cleared his throat, but no words came.

Nace waited patiently, simply looking at him. Like he didn't just pull the foundations of his world apart with few sentences.

"God, Nace," he said at last, "What do you want?"

"I want you to stop hiding behind the excuse of having no control and work with me. I can't help you unless you let me. So please do tell me what is your actual problem with me."

Jan worked his jaw. He focused on his nails. He reapplied the nail polish on his left hand yesterday, so it was perfect. Too perfect. He began to peel it off.

Then Nace reached out and covered his palms with his own, stopping his movements. Jan froze.

"Tell me," Nace urged, his softer now.

That finally made Jan snap.

"I can't give you what you want, alright? There was no point in giving you false hope about it."

Silence. Nace's mouth slightly fell open before he managed to scold his face into a more neutral expression. Jan felt more uncomfortable than he possible ever did in his life.

That thought kept bothering him on his way to here, though. Even if he was willing to do this, he could never do it in a way traditional to soulmates. He simply couldn't.

"And what is that you think that I want?"

Nace's voice was leveled. Controlled. Almost too controlled. He was definitely holding his emotions back. Jan just couldn't quite tell what those emotions were, at the moment.

Still. He owed him the truth, at the very least.

"You are a simple man. You want to settle down, have your secure little fairy tale with someone you love. Maybe even a family. I can't give you that."

So many emotions flickered over Nace's face. Disbelief, anger, hurt. Jan looked away.

"Did I ever say that's what I want?"

Jan sighed. He tried to pull his hands away from Nace's, but Nace tightened his hold on them.

"No. But I overheard you and Bojan talking about soulmates several times."

"Hypotheticals are different than the actual situations."

Jan rolled his eyes. He completely turned his head away this time. Clearly, this conversation wasn't leading anywhere.

Nace grabbed his chin. Jan froze, expecting it to hurt, for Nace to forcefully drag him into a kiss. Instead, Nace gently turned his head back towards him.

"Listen to me. I am only asking for a chance to get to know you. For you to get to know me, before you make any judgments."

His eyes shone with determination and now Jan couldn't look away.

"You fascinate me and you frustrate me and I want to know what you think and how you think. I want to get to know you properly. Can you at least give me a chance for that? No promises need to be made, just that we'll try. See where it goes. Maybe we work better as friends. That's also fine. But we won't know unless you give it a chance. Does that sound reasonable?"

Jan nodded slowly. He breathe through the panic rising in his chest. Somewhere, deep inside him, he knew that whatever this will involve into, won't be just friendship. But it was far too early to say that.

"Yeah, alright."

And Nace smiled, like a light shining at the end of a dark street. It was soft, almost hesitant smile.

"Alright."

It was a start.

[ramattra-simping]

Ramattra’s mission failed and he has a child! Human reader who he adopted. They were gonna go and see him but saw him pissed off for the first time and in nemesis form. I hope it’s okay as a request ^•^

This is really adorable and i can see him actually taking in a small child because they havent done anything Bad yet.🥺

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Ramattra with child!reader

So you around 5 years old and live in the Null Sector with the Omnics the reason for this is simple because of Ramattra.

Once on a Mission Ramattra was done with killing a few humans who hurt an omnic but before He left He heard crying.

After following it He saw a small Baby. He was about to Go when He saw a picture with your parents and saw they were with the dead now.

He felt bad for the human Baby. And He got an Idea If He Take them with him raise them with other Omnics they can help someday and show humans Omnics arent the real Monster.

This is how you ended up in there.

You never knew your real parents but you didnt Care. All the Omnics were so nice to you. And you even saw Ramattra as a Father figure.

Sadly He is most of the time gone so you dont really See him but when He is home he makes sure to spend a Lot of time with you.

You are like the daughter He never can get.

But sadly one day some dumb humans followed him to the null Sector thinking they can destroy them all.

Ramattra was the first to act.

"(y/n) Go to your room and dont come out until I am Back"

You did Walk to your room but turned around and run Back.

You wanted to be there for your Dad.

Then you saw him outside with the humans around him.

"I advice you all to leave otherwise you must face the consequences" He didnt want to fight here making it a risk you might see or hear anything.

"How about we take you apart and than Just burn everything down. I like this more. You Guys?" "Hell ye" "absolut" and more.

"As you wish. I wont show Mercy"

And with that Ramattra and the Humans starts to fight.

The fight lasted awhile until you saw that Ramattra was slowly losing. He didnt Had as much strenght as He thought He Had.

"No!" screaming you run out to Ramattra and hug him. "Please dont hurt him"

The other Humans were a bit shocked seeing a child here and hugging this Thing.

"Kid get away from it. Now." " No! Dont hurt my daddy!"

Everyone was shocked. The humans because you called this Thing a father. Ramattra because ifs the first time he hears you calling him your Dad.

"Thats it." One of the men was trying to pull you away from him but a standing up Ramattra stopped him.

"Not you nor any of you will touch my daughter!" Holding you in his arms Ramattra turns into His Nemesis form holding you Close to his chest with his normal arms while the other two are ready to punch all of them.

But it didnt come to it. All of the humans got scared and run away screaming.

Making sure they are gone Ramattra then Looks down to you. "I thought i told you to Go to your room, (y/n)." "I know. But i was worried something will happen to you Dad"

If He could He would be smiling from ear to ear. "Nothing will happen to me. After all i have to come Back to you."

Still with you in his arms He brought you Back inside to your room to Bring you to bed.

Today was a stressful day for a 5 year old Kid.

His Kid.

━━━━━━━༺۵༻━━━━━━━

Heyyy i hope you like it. I really liked the Idea of Ramattra adopting a kid🥺

[toomuchracket]

i was out for lunch with my friend today and this cute little baby was waving at me and when i waved back he started babbling and smiling 🥹 so now I’m thinking about having that interaction in front of matty and him being like in awe of you and then that sparks the conversations of you trying for a baby

STOP i ALSO saw a cute baby when i was out for lunch today (but it was like a 2 week old and he was crying softly and everyone in the cafe was like 😢 when we heard him)!! but let's say you and matty are out having a cute little date day, it's a friday in london in springtime and the sun is shining and the schools are in session so it's not as busy as it could be. and you've spent the past three hours in bookshops and record stores (a proper haul) and you're planning to do some shopping for new housey bits and trinkets because you're redecorating, but matty's like "come on, we'll go and get lunch, my treat" (he literally has not let you pay for anything the whole day. nightmare of a man. but so cute), and you end up in this cool little independent cafe down a side street. and you've ordered your toasties and you're having a little iced coffee each, enjoying sitting near the window to see the sun, just chatting and being all cute, when this family are seated at the table next to you - a couple who don't look too much older than you and matty, and their little boy, who must be around 1. and the way the tables are, any time you turn towards the window, you're looking directly at this little baby in his highchair, and he's SO CUTE - just all happy and smiley, not too loud, and he waves at you when you turn around. and you giggle and wave back, interrupting matty talking; he turns around to see the baby and smiles and waves at him too. and the baby just smiles even wider and starts babbling at you both, and i think it would be matty who speaks to him first like "oh, someone's chatty today! what are you saying to it then, mate?" and doing that thing where you pretend they're speaking perfectly and intellectually (which is very good for their brain development!), while you're laughing with the parents. and the mum is like "oh he really likes you guys, he's not normally so talkative! sorry!" and you're like "don't be daft, he's lovely? how old is he?" and then you have a little chat about the baby with her and her husband before you start talking to the kid too - and this little boy is just totally mesmerised by you, for whatever reason, just giggly and chatty and smiley. adorable vibes! anyway, the family go once they've had their coffees, and once you've bid them farewell with "bye, darlin'!" to the baby and a "take care" to the parents, matty just turns to you and smiles sweetly but conspiratorially. you're like "what?" and he's like "you were so good with that baby. like it was genuinely so cute. and asking all those questions about him and babies in general - you seemed really interested", and you go a bit sheepish like "oh, no, i was just being polite". and matty's like "hey, look at me, sweetheart - if you ARE interested in babies, it's not a bad thing. quite the opposite, actually", and you're like "... really?" and matty nods and says "well, yeah, i think about us having kids sometimes. might be nice, you know, having a little family". and you're a bit gobsmacked because it's never really come up before, but you're like "i think about it too, to be honest - kid with your hair and my... something, running around", and matty laughs and he's like "don't know if i'd wish this mop on anyone, babe, but i think a tiny combination of the two of us sounds nice. i'd be up for it, at some point", and you kiss his hand and you're like " maybe not right now, what with us redoing the house, but in the future absolutely". and matty smiles and kisses your hand back, and the convo moves on, but it lingers in the back of your minds - the seed of a decision to start trying for a baby is definitely planted <3

[luvghostie]

Hello! So I was hoping you could do this as a platonic thing, but;

What would Kyle, Stan, Kenny and Cartman be like with a father figure reader? Reader constantly cares for them, supports them praises them like no tomorrow and is in general kinda like a dad to them. I'm curious as to how they would treat them and act around them.

Aww, yes I love this request<3 sorry it took so long, I had things to take care of but enjoy!!

╰┈➤𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐄.ೃ࿐

{𝘔𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘓𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘚𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵}

Cartman: um, do you want my autograph or something?

Cartman doesn't know how to react to someone being there for him. Yes, his mom provides for him the best she can but she rarely gives him reassurance or affection.

He'll be very cruel to you at first wondering what you actually want from him.

When you stay longer he'll realize you're not using him for anything weird but instead you are like something he's always wanted... An actual parent.

“Hey... Can you please tell me I'm not stupid? Not that I need your praise or anything, I'm just ego feeding... Yeah.”

compliments and hugs are something he'd love. Just not in public.

Often times he'll probably cry knowing that he's rude to you. He wants to change himself but he doesn't want to get hurt by the other kids.

Memories of bullying, neglect and nasty remarks about his weight are something he hopes you confined him about. Making him forget all those bad times which tore him apart.

In general, Cartman will try to give back what you give to him. It might not be in the same way, but know he appreciates you more than anyone else.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Kyle: I wish my dad or even my mom was like you-

Kyle has two parents but both of them seem annoyed with him all the time. Ike is little but they give most of their time to his projects or things he likes, leaving the older out.

He'll ask you questions that he can't ask his mom or dad. They vary from animal questions, life questions, or even questions he worries about late at night.

“Could an asteroid hit so hard that none of us feel the impact? So, we die peacefully?”

The answers you give him he takes to heart and tries his best to understand. Remember, he's only in fourth grade.

If cartman says anything rude to you Kyle is always in your corner. (no doubt he and Cartman have had fights about how he talks to you)

You'll have to break the two apart before things escalate

Kyle tells his parents about you but not everything. He's worried that the knowledge and affection you give him will make his parents see you as something that might send him to hell. Realistically, it's because you're more of a parent than either of them could ever be.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Kenny: *muffled* please don't randomly leave... Not only will you hurt me, but you'll also hurt Karen.

Kenny is the most emotionally and physically hurt so you might have to give him extra compliments. Everyone else in the group has at least one parent that attempts to feed, help, or nurture their kid. However, his could give two fucks.

He'll make you thank you cards for caring for him and keeping him alive. Karen will also give you her favorite barbie, assisting that you deserved it more.

Kenny might ask you often if he could stay with you or at the least hangout. His parents wouldn't look for him anyways.

*muffled* You wanna go throw rocks at the elderly?

He gets upset at times when others bug you or talk over him. He won't yell, but he'll wait for them to shut up.

If he dies in front of you, he hopes you know he'll just come back in three days. The first time he died while you were there terrified the shit out of you. Not to mention how Cartman, Kyle, and Stan didn't seem to care much.

Kenny is a sweetheart and is very glad to have you around. It's a plus to him that Karen likes you as well. He'll try not to make sexual jokes around you or make you uncomfortable, it's a force of habit though.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Stan: Hey, hows your day?

Stan is the most normal one in the group. He loves his family but having you around is nice.

His mom sometimes isn't home and his father can be kind of overbearing at times so you're like his gateway to being relaxed.

If he has homework he needs to do or struggles with a subject he'll ask you for help on the topic. Especially because his dad's not very smart and would probably punch something if he was wrong.

He'll talk a lot about random things he finds interesting or Wendy. Speaking of wendy, you'd probably help him with his relationship and give him a nudge in the right direction.

“You think she'll like the flowers?”

If he throws up before giving her the flowers you'll do him justice and do it for him.

Stan might cry openly in front of you and the group if he has problems. Everyone tries to help the best they can but you might have to yell at Cartman for being a dick.

Stan is a nice boy and is grateful for all you do for him and his friends. He'll give you compliments and buy you food for payback. Even his mom likes you.

[gloomykizwrites]

Angela pleasant headcanons because I love her💚

-Angela doesn't really hang out much with people, the only person she regularly speaks to is her childhood friend, meadow thayer. 

-but even then, meadow wishes they were closer, because for as long as they've known each other, Angela never really opens up.

More under cut!

-angela always turns down any invitation to hang out from meadow's friends, because she needs to "study" 

-so it leads to them thinking angela is a bit weird

-like i Said she never opens up, she never tells anyone about her problems, her hobbies, never tells anyone about herself

-angela might be a "popular" girl in school, but not in the way you'd think? She's known for having good grades, getting along with teachers and everyone always wants to take her notes she wrote down in class 

-this is actually based off of my own friend from high school, but Angela does not like sharing her class notes to other people, because of how much time she spends organizing them, she's scared someone might ruin it lol. 

-this girl is a PERFECTIONIST, everything she does must be tidy and perfect! 

-this is a trait she picked up from her mother

-speaking of family, angela always saw lilith getting yelled at whenever her sister did a mistake or something "bad" 

-she got scared when her parents yelled and didn't want to be treated the same way so as a child she thought "if I want mom and dad to treat me good, then I must be good myself" 

-so she did everything to be seen as "good" 

-she doesn't even realize it herself, but she is under extreme pressure because of this. 

-she needs love, emotional support, affection

-but Mary sue is too busy working 

-and Daniel is… Well he's daniel… I

I imagine he's also an overachiever and that also impacted angela

-now onto her relationship with lilith: I think that angela does not understand why lilith does not just act "good" to get proper treatment from their parents

-I think Lilith saw Angela getting "more love" (even though that love was pretty shallow) and decided to take it out on her. She probably kicked her or smth and angela just fought back and it created a rift between the two, which led us to their current relationship in the game

-I really love reconciling the two

-they still kinda swear at each other but like in an affectionate way lol

-lowkey enjoys it when lilith blasts her music in her room

-and lowkey gets disappointed when Mary sue yells at lilith to turn it down

-but she'll never admit it, she does not want to get looked down upon by her mom

-Angela is not really in tune with her own emotions? 

-like someone asks her what is wrong while she's LITERALLY crying

-and she'd be like "what do you mean? Everything's fine" 

-she is so, so lonely

-yet she doesn't even realize it

-and when she does start to realize this loneliness, she is confused, very sad and confused

-she does not know why she feels the way she does, it's like a big gap in her heart. 

-same girl, same 😞

-she is very in tune however, with nature and the sea/ocean! 

-she loves animals and plants, she likes them better than people

-probably has a cactus and other plants in her room :3

-I think her favorite animal would be deers :o

-she loves, and i mean LOVES researching anything related to the ocean, sea creatures etc… 

-she has information stored in her brain just for it

-if someone asks her anything about it, you can be sure she'll go crazy and info dump for HOURS

-unfortunately she does not really have anyone to do that with other then meadow and maaaaybeeee

-dustin :3

-dustin is her other childhood friend! 

-he always likes getting her into trouble lol

-she does enjoy it though hehehe and tries to rebel a bit

-immediately regrets it though (Trauma-I mean what???) 

-and again she isn't very in tune with her emotions and probably only realizes she had a crush on him after she goes to university or something 😭

-dustin had to make all the moves but she was pretty dense at the time/or just not interested . 

-everytime she sees dustin with his little brother she gets an ache in her heart (girl you live in a dysfunctional family pls accept that) 

-she def gets along with beau!! She def babysits him sometimes, she loves pinching his cheeks 

-she probably has freckles too hehehe

-unlike lilith who is very sporty, she sucks at sports!!! 

-girl cannot run 2 minutes without getting tired!!! AND IT'S HONESTLY A MOOD

-I have a fanfic idea where angela goes to a boarding school in simcity and has mercutio as her seatmate

-and mercutio actually manages to somehow make her open up a bit

-they go to an arcade and also omfg angela is so bad at video games but GETS SO INVESTED

-mercutio is like "damm!!!" 

-they legit slowly become besties (i actually ship them PLS DO NOT KILL MEEEEE) 

-the first time they met, mercutio had music blasting off his headphones, so angela, who is his seatmate like i said, was like "hey I know *insert band here* is good, but could you turn it down a bit?" 

-mercutio is legit suprised like "how tf do u know this band" 

-angela just says she has a sister that likes the band (she actually likes the band too like i said earlier) 

-since I do ship them, i think their first date would go like Denji and asa's from the anime/manga chainsaw man 😭

-basically they're at an aquarium and she just infodumps a WHOLE ESSAAY ON A CERTAIN TYPE OF JELLYFISH

-LIKE A LITERAL DISCTIONARY COMES OUT HER MOUTH.

-and mercutio, much like Denji, is like "what…" 

-angela is like "wtf how is he not impressed by the fact i know so many things abt this jellyfish??" 

-girl I love you so much omfg 😭

-I want to say she's honestly mid at cooking 💀💀

-like eventually lilith learns how to cook and is lowkey better then angela at it, angela is just a girl failure 😌

-angela just cooks to cook tbh she doesn't wanna starve yknow

-omg maybe mercutio cooks for angela (okay i'll stop 😓) 

-I don't think she listens to much music but she gets more into it over the years 

-probably loves bjork! And mitski or smth 😭

-she's the kind of girl to fake her confidence, take it all away and you get a really insecure girl, she deserves all the love in my heart!

-all in all I love her 💚

Pls let me know if you'd like to see more headcanons from me!!