#i need a caregiver please

[baby-boy-is-sleepy]

i really really reeeeeeeaaaaaalllly want a caregiver for christmas/yule/all the winter holidays please!! i just need a little help maintaining a structured routine (im trying!) and just to have an extra eye on me when i get too small! also a friend!! even when im big i just need a friend too! i dunno i just think it’d be nice.

[lilbabjojo]

Please send more CG Carmilla requests I beg of you- HCs, Scenarios, fics... Anything.

[dayurno]

i just saw a post about andrew and his meds and how he was probably misdiagnosed for depression but he’s actually bipolar which made him manic all the time bc of his meds and!!!! yes to me andrew has always been bipolar. anyways i just had to share this with someone what are you thoughts on bipolar andrew? i know this isn’t kevin related and for that i’m sorry

"i know this isn’t kevin related and for that i’m sorry" HRGJLDHFGDFJG KDFJG FUNNY....!!!! i do answer non-kevin related asks sometimes but the flesh and the spirit must be willing... i'd say it's occasional like an expert briefly commenting on another expert's field

i thought bipolar andrew was canon? isn't it? i've never really had any extensive thoughts about it; to me it was just a fact of the world like the foxes are orange and kevin is beautiful..... well. regardless. i think it's a good hc if that's what it is :) i'm not all that interested in diagnosing aftg characters with personality disorders and i think a diagnosis of something is not always a concrete reality of life and more so a guideline to follow to deal with a specific cluster of symptoms, but as far as they go, andrew being bipolar makes a lot of sense!

i have a friend who went through the foster system when they were younger and a few years ago i do remember we were talking about andrew and they said a lot of how he was written was taken textbook from a 'how to foster troubled children' manual, which i think is most of what i think about re: andrew's mental health. to me it is more interesting (fiction wise!) to think about the material conditions that caused him to develop the symptoms he did, and less so about the ultimate conclusion of them. does this make sense?

tl;dr: i thought andrew being bipolar was already canon, if it's a hc then it's cool :=)

[austerulous]

Gentle reminder that I’m very slow and inconsistent both ic and ooc, and that the speed of my replies ≠ my interest in them.

[a-star-that-fell]

once again i am so enraged at my job that i’m crying in ratio

[gatun-gatunesco]

Fleabag

"People make mistakes... that is why they put a rubbers in the end of pencils"

[catz-brainz1234]

Arghhhh

I swear, if we don't get a cg to look after me irl soon,

I'm gonna riot

[goldrooms]

what do you say to a person who suffers chronic pain who’s stuck in anger mode? when they are not ready to “accept” and work through it, “grow” and be thankful for the good but instead are bitter and angry about everything they lost and everything they won’t ever get back. plus the constant pain, obviously.

how do you help someone in despair? who doesn’t want to change their perspective or isn’t ready to. what happens when the sick person is not interested in “resilience”. when they are angry at a world that can’t understand them and all they want is to check out.

what’s the best way to be there for a person who hates everything and is nasty to everyone to the point that being near them even brings you down and puts you back into the pit of despair you’ve been trying to escape your whole life.

how do you make a person so full of bitterness and resentment and pain feel loved. feel hope. how.

[hellyeahsickaf]

I found an extremely dope disability survival guide for those who are homebound, bedbound, in need of disability accommodations, or would otherwise like resources for how to manage your life as a disabled person. (Link is safe)

It has some great articles and resources and while written by people with ME/CFS, it keeps all disabilities in mind. A lot of it is specific to the USA but even if you're from somewhere else, there are many guides that can still help you. Some really good ones are:

How to live a great disabled life- A guide full of resources to make your life easier and probably the best place to start (including links to some of the below resources). Everything from applying for good quality affordable housing to getting free transportation, affordable medication, how to get enough food stamps, how to get a free phone that doesn't suck, how to find housemates and caregivers, how to be homebound, support groups and Facebook pages (including for specific illnesses), how to help with social change from home, and so many more.

Turning a "no" into a "yes"- A guide on what to say when denied for disability aid/accommodations of many types, particularly over the phone. "Never take no for an answer over the phone. If you have not been turned down in writing, you have not been turned down. Period."

How to be poor in America- A very expansive and helpful guide including things from a directory to find your nearest food bank to resources for getting free home modifications, how to get cheap or free eye and dental care, extremely cheap internet, and financial assistance with vet bills

How to be homebound- This is pretty helpful even if you're not homebound. It includes guides on how to save spoons, getting free and low cost transportation, disability resources in your area, home meals, how to have fun/keep busy while in bed, and a severe bedbound activity master list which includes a link to an audio version of the list on Soundcloud

Master List of Disability Accommodation Letters For Housing- Guides on how to request accommodations and housing as well as your rights, laws, and prewritten sample letters to help you get whatever you need. Includes information on how to request additional bedrooms, stop evictions, request meetings via phone, mail, and email if you can't in person, what you can do if a request is denied, and many other helpful guides

Special Laws to Help Domestic Violence Survivors (Vouchers & Low Income Housing)- Protections, laws, and housing rights for survivors of DV (any gender), and how to get support and protection under the VAWA laws to help you and/or loved ones receive housing and assistance

Dealing With Debt & Disability- Information to assist with debt including student loans, medical debt, how to deal with debt collectors as well as an article with a step by step guide that helped the author cut her overwhelming medical bills by 80%!

There are so many more articles, guides, and tools here that have helped a lot of people. And there are a lot of rights, resources, and protections that people don't know they have and guides that can help you manage your life as a disabled person regardless of income, energy levels, and other factors.

Please boost!

[spectrumgarden]

I dont think I've talked about this before, or more than in a single sentence tag... and we (disabled community) had the conversation earlier this year, and before and before and before. That disability spaces need to be open to caregivers, obviously, if someone needs them for it to be an accessible space. I get the focus on disability spaces since obviously, being disabled and being excluded, not even by physical barriers or something, from disability spaces, by rules that could be changed in a second to allow your carer(s) in, is fucking heartbreaking and stuff.

But also we need this energy for all spaces please. I remember being like 17, and my supportive mother found a local queer group online that she had reached out to to help her with resources for my medical transition. They invited us over to talk irl, it was alright (it was before my AAC so I didnt communicate beyond head shake / nod, barely) and then they offered me to join their trans group for support emotional. When my mother explained that I dont do things alone (autism), that I cant, that its dangerous for me, they told her she as my carer couldnt be there because shes cis. They would rather fully exclude me, then allow my carer to join.

Its genuinely time people see carers as purely extensions of the disabled person in many areas & situations. They allow us access. Without them, there is no us. She would not be there to speak as a cis person, perhaps speak at all aside from voice my needs, ... but still. Rules are rules, think about the others.

Well, no one thought about 17 year old disabled me who did not leave the house alone. Who had zero queer community in real life. It could have been worked out. Trialed. Explained. Worked through. But No.

And dont let me get into covid restrictions that limited some spaces to one person x the professional / etc, where people had to break laws to allow me access or turn me and my carer away.

[sabersandsnipers]

Drabbles: Caregiving

Featuring: Astarion, Gale, Halsin, Gortash

Inspiration courtesy of @creativepromptsforwriting

Astarion

To put it lightly, Astarion is a mess after killing Cazador. And who can blame him? After returning to camp, he simply sits and dissociates. His hands tremble. The only solace he finds is when you’re near. 

Still covered in blood, you ask his permission to clean him up. He simply nods, his eyes staring at nothing. You grab a damp cloth and begin gently wiping away the dried blood. He leans towards you, hoping your presence itself can protect him from the trauma that keeps surfacing in his mind. 

You notice his pants are still stained with blood as well. You gently cradle his face to get his attention. 

“Do you need help changing?” 

He doesn’t say anything but the look in his eyes is enough to assure he needs help. You lay him down and help him out of his soiled clothes. You quickly grab his night clothes, pulling his shirt over his head and helping him into new bottoms. 

After he’s settled, you turn to leave, but his hand shoots out to grab your arm. 

“Please stay.” His voice is strained. A deep ache blooms in you. 

You sit next to him on his bedroll, cradling him against your chest and whispering soothing thoughts to him for the rest of the night. 

Gale

As skilled a wizard as Gale is, he can’t always prevent himself from getting sick. Confined to his tent, you took it upon yourself to care for him. 

As you brew some tea for him, he stretches out on his bedroll and watches you work. His heart warms at your worry for him. He really doesn’t deserve the care you’re giving him. He’s sure you have more important things to do. 

You pour the tea for him, crouching next to the bedroll. With barely enough energy to move, you have to help him lift his head to take a sip. You gently cradle the back of his head, bringing the warm liquid to his lips. 

He takes a small sip before laying his head down again. 

He licks the remaining liquid off his lips. “It’s good,” he says. The taste of it sends a comforting warmth through him, mildly numbing the ache settling in his bones. 

“I put a little something extra in there for you,” you tell him, winking. 

He lets out a breathy laugh. “Why am I not surprised?”

Halsin

Halsin is always the one who wants to care for you. You’ve insisted time and time again to let you pamper him sometime. He works so hard for you, protecting you and making sure you never go to sleep hungry or cold. 

After scrounging enough gold to get a room at a nearby inn, you finally force his hand. He’s bathing in the wash room, and you sneak in while he’s scrubbing at his skin. 

He looks at you, a smile coming to his face. “Did you want to join me?”

You shake your head. “I was hoping I could wash your hair,” you tell him. 

He raises an eyebrow. 

“Please?” you insist. “You must be tired.” 

His shoulders slouch and he ceases his scrubbing. “Get over here,” he grumbles.

You rush over to sit behind the tub, leaping at the chance to help Halsin relax. You make quick work of wetting his hair, pouring a cleansing mix onto his scalp. Your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, massaging slowly.

“Hmmm, that feels good,” he says, voice low.

You smile, watching as the tenseness leaves his body. “Good. You deserve it.”

He leans his head back, making it easier for you to work your fingers through his long hair. 

You can’t help yourself. You lean forward to press a kiss to his neck. He turns to  you, a warm smile on his lips. 

Your heart melts just like the first time you saw it.

Gortash

You straddle Lord Enver Gortash, his bare back laid before you. Your fingers dig into his tense muscles, earning moans from deep within him. He dearly needed a massage after an especially tiring day of ruling over Baldur’s Gate. The power of having him writhe beneath you is intoxicating. 

You lean down and start to press kisses to his lower back, slowly trailing upwards. He growls your name. A warning. You know if you continue to tease him he’s going to flip you onto your back. The thought thrills you. 

But you want to work out those big knots in his back first. He deserves to be taken care of before he takes care of you. You continue your work, rocking back and forth on your heels to gain momentum as you dig deep into his flesh. 

His moans rumble through your hands. You grin to yourself, looking forward to the moment where he gives you the pleasure you want in return. 

[zebulontheplanet]

Sometimes yes, people with meltdowns do need to be retrained. Sometimes yes, they can seriously hurt themselves. Yes, there is nuance. Restraint can be seriously harmful, but restraint can mean the difference between injuring yourself severely, and someone else hurting you from the restraint.

I’m an autistic person that has violent meltdowns with self injurious behaviors. And yes, this does mean that sometimes I need to be restrained.

I think that in the autism community, there’s a lot of people saying “never restrain!! Never do that!!” And they forget about people like me, who WILL hurt themselves severely if they are not restrained. Does this mean that I allow random people to restrain me during meltdowns? Absolutely fucking not. My caregiver is the ONLY person I trust to restrain me during meltdowns. Why? Because they know how to do it in a way that won’t hurt me, or lead to me hurting them.

I feel like within the autism community, there’s so many people telling us what we can and cannot do. And what our caregivers can and cannot do. YES! Restraint can be life threatening and harmful, but I am prone to hurting myself. To giving myself a head injury, to self harming. It is far more safer for me to be restrained correctly from my caregiver.

Please remember that those of us with higher support needs and more violent meltdowns, do sometimes need to be restrained. However, it’s important to remember anatomy. When my caregiver became my caregiver, that’s one of the first things we talked about, and we came to an agreement and I talked to them about the CORRECT way to restrain me during meltdowns.

Please remember those of us who do need restrained, and please remember those of us that this is the safest option for us.

[serpentclaws]

hi I need to be a boring adult for a minute

please don't out yourself as anything "strange and unusual" if you're in an unsafe space or if you're unsure about how your caregivers will react

if you're dependent on someone for your way of life, such as being a teenager, it's not dishonest to "hide" parts of yourself -- it's literally just surviving

if you think you're safe? go for it

but the momentary relief you might feel from telling a guardian you're a therian may not be enough to protect you from any wrath or repercussions, if your family is inclined to that

it's just not worth the risk most times, even if it seems like it is

[aouiaa]

hii can you please do an abby x reader where Manny throws a party at the WLF stadium and abby and her gf go and her gf gets quite drunk and when she gets drunk she gets clingy and it’s just cute and fluffy and stuff.

if not don’t stress 💐💐

❝ HOW ABOUT THAT OFFER ? ❞ — ABBY ANDERSON

warnings and disclaimers, dealer!abby, alcohol consumption, usage of pet names (babe, pretty), descriptions of types of drunks, abby being so mm (need her).

TAPE THE MOUTH SHUT, i couldn’t resist the chance to scooch in the amazing dealer trope. i meannn, who doesn’t love her? I DO, MUAHAHA. keep sending requests! i love getting requests, or asks in general. just read my rules AND don’t be weird. OKAYYAYAABYEYEE

A firm knock on the wooden, painted door interrupts the participants inside. the music, once a mere background noise, now assaults your ears as the door opens and manny stands there, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. after greeting abby with dab, the two of you step into the room, the space seems to shrink as groups of people mill about, mingling together. the thick air, laden with the combined scents of sweat and weed, assaults your senses.

The tension in the air calls for some liquid courage, barely letting abby mingle with her own crowd, you practically drag her towards the makeshift alcohol table, where you promptly pour a random assortment of shitty, cheap liquor into a solocup. abby, who’s barely registering how she even got it there, notices your witch’s concoction, and laughs, leaning close enough so you can hear her over the music. "you sure you wanna drink that?" she taunts playfully.

In response, you scoff, rolling your eyes as you defiantly pour the chaser into the cup. "i can handle my liquor just fine, abby." you assure her, unamused. she immediately leans back, putting her hands up in a playful gesture of surrender "alright, alright," she laughs, "just saying ‘cause last time..." her voice trails off into laughter as you let out a exasperated sigh.

As the night wore on, so did the consumption, making the atmosphere becomes more carefree. it was cup after cup as you soon feel that familiar warm, fuzzy feeling that signals your transition to “that type of drunk.”

Everyone knows there are distinct of drunken personas: the aggressive, rowdy, and affectionate. as for you, the affection is on full display as you shower the apples of the blonde’s cheeks with kisses, dispensing them like a sprinkler sprinkling a flowerbed.

Abby, taking on the role of the caregiver for the evening sticks by your side at arms length. seated on a couch in the far corner of the main room, you purchase a spot on her lap, head resting on her shoulder with your arm flung around her neck while your other hand gently holds a half-empty cup of tonight’s libations. one of her lean, strong arms is wrapped around your waist, acting as your anchor.

Occasionally, between conversations with manny, she checks on you. this time is no exception, a strong tingling feeling resonates down your body from the touch of her lips brushing against your ear as she whispers, "lemme know when you're ready to head out, alright, pretty?" pressing a kiss to your cheek which makes you whinge, burying your face into the crook of her neck, flushed.

The thought of escaping this crowded scene and snuggling into the warmth of your fluffy pajamas, ensconced in the embrace of your plush bed, was tempting. but a guilty pleasure at best. you knew that abby's presence was strictly for business, parties merely transactions for her trade.

Over the course of the past three hours, a steady flow of people approached the two of you, each one slipping her money before muttering a brief ‘thanks’ and disappearing into the masses.

When money talked, you wouldn’t dare silent it.

It’s why you haven’t confirmed your submission, maybe the booze was talking, but all you really wanted to do was be coddled by your gentle giant. it’s not anything different than what it was three minutes ago. from afar, someone shouted her name, summoning her services. abby acknowledged the call, quickly murmuring, "i’l be back." before waving manny over to keep an eye on you.

It should have taken no more than a minute, perhaps a minute and a half if the asshole was particularly awkward. but that additional thirty seconds felt like an eternity of separation from her. you shook your head, pressing your body against hers as if your proximity alone could make her stay.

“no, stay here.” you sulk, abandoning the cup within milliseconds and wrap your arms tightly around her neck.

She chuckles, enclosing your body in a warm embrace. "but, i’ll be gone for a minute, tops." she promises.

Frustrated, you give her your best puppy eyes, questioning. “why can’t they just come over here?” shortly adding the dramatic proclamation, "i’ll die in those sixty seconds." that she knows you mean. with a heavy sigh and zero hesitation, she looks up at the guy waiting for her, then shakes her head dismissively before returning her attention back to you.

“okay, okay,” she hushes you, “i’m right here, babe.” she says, kissing your forehead and shifting in more comfortable position to embrace you. resting her head on yours and utters the only good thing that has came out of her mouth tonight.

“how about that offer?”

requests are open, don’t be shy :3

PERMANENT TAGLIST, @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101, @abbysleftbicepp, @airenaa, @caraphernellie, @astralnymphh, @whore87, @kaiilectric, @sapphicontherun, @mikellie, @nihilisticangelbby, @be3flow3r, @ppuussyyy, @clairoscharm

[!] — PERCHANCE YOU WANNA BE ADDED TO MY PERMANENT, look here for more info!

[bella-goths-wife]

How reader could manipulate the bowers gang boys

Again, please enjoy my attempts at being deep writer while being sick and sad

I do not intend to romanticise or encourage any of the following warnings, my writing is solely for entertainment and informational purposes. I do not support or condone any and all abuse and I do not believe in any of the various themes I write about.

Henry bowers:

As we've established in previous posts, Henry craves to be taken care of

His mother was the only person who cared about him until his dad scared her off, and now he has no one

His dad couldn't give less of a shit about him, and while he sees the boys as his brothers, he'd never discuss thoughts and feelings with them because he was their leader and he can't seem weak

But you, you were so gentle and kind to those around you

Sure, you looked cold and sometimes you'd act like an arrogant bitch

But he saw how you acted with Beverly, before he made you his

You knew she struggled, so you'd make her an extra lunch and offer her a shoulder to cry on

Something about watching those interactions made Henry's skin crawl with an ugly jealousy which he mistook for anger and disgust

That's why he was so intent on hurting you the day he and the boys followed you after school, so he could take out his frustrations

But then he and the other boys saw you dancing, and he knew you'd be perfect

The way you could manipulate Henry is by really playing into the caregiver role

Make his lunches, write him little notes on them, offer to trim his hair, cook his dinners, offer to do his laundry and take care of his wounds after fights

Really act like you care about Henry, make him believe that you can be relied on

Make Henry believe that you are the one person in the world who cares about him and you'll be in for a world of surprises

As time goes on Henry will reveal more about himself, in his own gruff and verbally abusive fashion

But there will be a gentleness that's unlocked within him, it's minuscule when looking at it through the societal norms but if you view it as someone who has experienced his abuse for months, the change can be unexpected

If you do something wrong, as long as it's only minor (like burning his food slightly or not responding the first time he speaks), he'll turn a blind eye to it for the first time it happens instead of yelling and hurting you

And if he does decide to 'punish' you, he'll clean up your wounds instead of making you work through it and he'll make sure to avoid body parts that are vital to your ballet dancing

He'll also become more affectionate in his own way

He'll hold you at night in a way that used to be rough and only a precaution in case you tried to do something while he slept, but now his hold is less bruising and held more adoration then before

If you want to manipulate Henry, then the best way to do this is to voice your opinion while he holds you

It's really the only time he'd listen, so you'd have to make sure you do it correctly and you don't overuse it because he would eventually catch on

But if you wanted something to change within the group, your best chance is to mention it during this time

For example, if you didn't want to be around Patrick for too long, all you'd have to say to Henry is "Patrick makes me uncomfortable sometimes when he touches me"

And suddenly, your around Patrick by yourself less and less by Henry's command

Another route you could take is to cause conflict within the group, for example

You could say something like "Patrick's been quite demanding lately, he told me not to make you lunch tomorrow and to make it for him instead"

This will plant seeds of doubt in Henry's mind and will cause problems amongst the boys

The only side effect to this manipulation is a very needy, clingy and possessive Henry who feels the need to have you around 24/7 since you take such good care of him

Patrick Hockstetter:

Patrick is a sociopath, it's very clear to see and if he were born ten years later he would be labelled as dangerous to society

So his manipulation would be extremely hard, but everyone has their blindspots

And Patrick's is that he craves sexual attention and validation

Patrick has been sleeping with girls since he was fifteen, and sometimes he thinks it's the only thing that makes other people seem real to him

He's engaged in sexual relations with you, but never with your consent

And while he enjoys the pleasure and control he gains from the interaction, he knows that he would prefer it if you were an active participant who enjoyed the experience with him

A way you could manipulate Patrick is if you started to act enthusiastic to sleep with him

You'd have to force yourself and you'd have to be a good actress, but if you acted enthusiastically about having sex with Patrick and sharing that part of yourself willingly with him it would definitely lower his guard

As I've mentioned before in previous posts, after having any sexual interactions with you he will be kinder to you for a few weeks afterwards

This means that If you wanted to make it so he was being nicer to you then you could initiate sex with him for your own benefit

This would grant you many rewards such as gifts he stole from the mall, defending you against the other boys when they get too rough and he's even able to get you out of some of the punishments the other boys set out for you

Another route you could take Patrick's manipulation is to withdraw from sex completely

For weeks you'd be enthusiastic and initiating sex with Patrick until he does something that makes you upset

Once he does this, you stop acting happy about having sex with him and you stop participating

You can't outright stop having sex with him unfortunately as he will just force you to

But If you withdraw from sex go from someone who was enthusiastic and excited to someone who just lays there and takes it while you dissociate from the situation, it's gonna give Patrick a case of whiplash

He'll try and enjoy the sex even though your withdraw but he just can't anymore, not when he's experienced you at your fullest

So he'll subconsciously start to gain back your attention

This would be an opportunity to try and gain more out of Patrick

Request things that you'd get smacked for before

Ask for things like alone time, cigarettes, friends and they'll all be granted as long as you just have sex with Patrick with the same passion as before

If you want to cause problems with the group through your manipulation of Patrick, start sleeping with one of the other boys with enthusiasm while denying Patrick and you'll have a fist fight in no time

Victor Criss:

Vic is extremely possessive of you

You are his and he is yours, he has stated this to you many times

This possessiveness has always been encouraged by his silent resentment of Henry and the other boys

All of his nice and pretty things were always taken from him

When he was younger, belch would steal his toys and break them

When he was a pre teen, Henry would steal his lunches and snacks from home

And when he was a teenager, Patrick would steal any girl that vic found pretty before sleeping with her and leaving her broken hearted

Vic held so much resent in for those instances, but they formed dark bruises on his heart from the memories

All you have to do is press down on those bruises and reignite the sting he felt from them

You could act very affectionate with him behind closed doors and act like the two of you are just passionate lovers

Be affectionate with him and make him more vulnerable and susceptible to your manipulative behaviour

Once he's comfortable, reinforce his thoughts of how you are his and his only

Make sure he knows that you believe that you are his as well

This will encourage to him to take your requests more seriously and to even grant the very few he can

It also reassures you that he's less likely to punish you if you act like his perfect little toy

•But if you wanted to go down the route of manipulating the boys against each other, then your best bet is to pit him against Henry

Drop into conversations that you wish you could spend more time with him, but Henry just won’t let you

Describe all the horrible things Henry does to you and exaggerate it before adding “if it was just you and me, you’d never do anything like this to me”

All those feelings of resentment that vic repressed for years will boil over

At first it will start off as small arguments but it will quickly develop

If you continuously use these methods of manipulation on vic for months and then try to provoke Henry into acting cruel to you and punishing you in front of vic, then make vic watch the cruelty being inflicted on you and watch his possessive and protective behaviour bubble to the surface

There would be a bloody fight which would end up with one of them dead, and you better pray that it’s Henry who looses

You know what they say

If you want to kill a snake, remove the head

Belch Huggins:

As I’ve said in my other posts, belch is absolutely desperate for your approval

He’s craved it ever since the first time you granted him a compliment

Even if it was more of an observation of a compliment, to him it felt like a goddess had finally given him a purpose

You may think that’s enough to be able to manipulate belch, but unfortunately you weren’t the first person to figure this out

Henry has always been observant over belch, belch is physically stronger and if he were smarter he could probably overtake Henry as the group leader

So Henry definitely noticed how much belch lit up after you praised or complimented him

And he saw this as something that could be a threat

So he decided to use it against you before you figured out a plan

He told belch that in order to gain your approval, he would have to follow Henry’s instructions no matter how cruel or violent they were

Henry reassured him that even if you insulted belch or yelled at him for following Henry’s instructions, but it was all for your own good

And eventually you’d thank belch for helping you figure out what you wanted

At least that’s what Henry told him

So no matter how guilty belch may feel, Henry has manipulated him so much that he truly does believe the abuse is gonna help you

But one way you could manipulate belch is through similar methods as vic or Henry

Overpower him with your affection and compliments

Make him feel loved and wanted with your words and actions

But only do this obviously in private with him

Only give him your affections and approval subtly

Think about secret lovers affection, like touching pinkies with your hands spread out or his hand on your knee under the table

These actions will make his as giddy as a teenager in love

He truly will believe that you and him are in love

While you give him the affection and approval that he craves, make small requests like

“I really wish I could smoke again, do you think you could give me one of your cigarettes”

Now there is a small chance that he’ll allow it if he’s blissed out on your touch, but if he denies you then immediately stop all the affection that your giving him and push him away

This will cause him to backpedal and give in to your request as long as you continue to touch him

This only works for minor requests though, for major requests you’ll need to scare him

For example, if you wanted some time to spend with Beverly then you’d have to ask him and when he Denies you then simply threaten him with harming yourself or not eating

This will send his protective side into overdrive and you can have this man on his knees begging for forgiveness if you play your cards right

A way to manipulate him against the rest of the group is to prove yourself as the only person who cares about him and loves him before planting the seeds of doubt in his mind

Drop little comments like “Patrick was wrong about you, your not stupid” or “vic says your too violent, but I don’t think that’s true”

He’ll start to second guess his friends and he’ll start to come to you more with his problems

But the best move to make is to make it so after all those months of manipulating belch against the rest of his friends, have him watch as Henry is unnecessarily cruel to you

And then go crying into belchs arms in private and demand to know why he didn’t help you or defend you

Drop in a “I thought you loved me” and you’ll have undone all of Henry’s manipulation in seconds

You could convince belch to take you away from the rest of the boys and to run away with you so you could be together forever

Hopefully you’ll be able to sneak away from belch at some point because he now trusts you

And even if you don’t, being stuck with belch is the lesser of two evils

[pufflehuffing]

Courting rules in the 1890's and Hogwarts students

Courting: be involved with (someone) romantically, with the intention of marrying.

I love reading time accurate fanfiction and decided to delve into the courting rules of Victorian England, more specifically the late 1800's. I twisted some rules to add my personal interpretation of how these habits would work for Hogwarts students. This post is specifically about courting, not casual dating. Please keep in mind that the 1890's weren't as progressive as the 2020's while reading and that this discusses middle- and working-class families. This post will probably be subject to additions when I learn even more about Victorian England.

English isn't my native language so I hope the grammar isn't too bad? Let me know!

Meeting someone new.

Typically, teenagers were allowed by their families to begin courting between the ages of 16 to 18, though their education always came first. Girls were taught at home by their mothers to prepare meals and take care of the household. Boys were taught to work with their fathers at home or at the local workshops so they knew how to handle enterprise. During the summer months, Hogsmeade had more soon-to-be sixth-years working the shops than the actual owners.

In September, sixth-years were taught sexual education by the school nurse. She was aided by the potions professor, who taught the girls how to brew a simple contraceptive. Boys were taught their valuable role in society, and how important it was that they did not court multiple girls at a time. It was the boy who had to make a move, so to speak. Victorian women had a more helpless image than they do today, seen as delicate flowers who needed men to take charge.

A girl who was kind, patient, benevolent, peaceful, charitable, and caregiving, was worth pursuing. Girls were to pursue boys who possessed the ability to speak with ease, respect, and courtesy to all, a neat appearance, excellent manners and respect for all women.

The two sexes didn't mingle much. Students would often stay within their own circle, only befriending peers in their own house and classes. The only times that Hogwarts students really had time to meet someone new was during their walks in the hallways, study time in the library or on their trips to Hogsmeade. Therefore, students would often join extracurricular clubs to widen their circle like Quidditch, the school choir, the Astronomy club, Crossed Wands, etc.

Students taking Defense Against The Dark Arts were to follow rules when dueling with the other sex. Boys weren't permitted to use Depulso or other blasting charms at their female peers unless specifically asked for by the professor as it was ungentlemanly to launch a female into a stack of crates without reason.

Dating and falling in love.

If he perceived that she was interested, and he was confident that his position in life and circumstances were sufficient to allow him to proceed, a boy took the next step — sending an owl to the girl's father (or his next-in-line if he had died or was absent from the family) to ask permission to pay a visit to their home. In this letter, he stated his position and prospects, and mentioned his family, as well as his blood status and house. Boys would often pen down what electives they were taking and which profession they would like to pursue after graduation. The letter's envelope would be sealed with a wax stamp of the boy's house or family crest.

Families played a crucial role in the courting process. Parents often had a say in their children's relationships, and the approval of both families was considered important.

If the father of the girl had approved of the young boy, courtship could commence. Most courtship was conducted exclusively in public places and always in the company of a chaperone. Note that I'm discussing romantic and not platonic relationships. Girls and boys were allowed to spend time together alone platonically, under the clear pretence they weren't courting.

The lovers weren't officially allowed to give their suitor any gifts without her parents being present during the exchange. Though it wasn't uncommon for boarding school students to hide lockets under their pillows and dried flowers in their journals, hoping the house-elves wouldn't find them. Flowers, fruit and non-explosive candy from Honeydukes were allowed to be given without supervision, as their perishable nature implied no greater enduring memorials.

With the many rules society put on courting teenagers, love letters were one way to escape the prim and proper manner at which they conversed. Love letters were considered sacred and sincere testaments to a couple’s love; such intimate correspondence was regarded with respect and a deep sense of privacy. A family member would never open a daughter’s or sister’s love letter. Upon receiving an owl she were to retire to her room to read its contents in private.

Often times girls would scent their letters with their perfume and moving portraits were popular attachments. Photography wasn't popularized in working-class families until the next century, yet witches quickly gossiped about conjuration spells that allowed them to take small polaroids of themselves. Boys would attach the dried flowers I mentioned earlier. The more experienced wizard could include a conjured paper butterfly or bird.

Staying at Hogwarts, students weren't allowed in the other gender's dormitories, so they resorted to explicit portraits and sneaky snogs in the Astronomy Tower or the Muggle Studies classroom. Gifting each other their scarf was a discreet way of "claiming" each other, though it was considered improper by the professors.

After having learned the disillusionment and silencing charms, teenagers were very eager to master Evanesco.

The more cunning wizards and witches of Hogwarts would sneak into the Restricted Section of the school's library to look for Muggle books that contained erotica in order to spice up their love letters and late-night encounters.

If allowed by her family, male students would accompany their date to the Yule Ball. They were instructed to never lose sight of her there and to not drink any alcohol in her presence. The couple was also required to arrive in separate carriages and left the event separately before midnight. The boy would walk his lover to her carriage or to her chaperone and bow his head to say goodnight.

As graduation approached, boys who were in the process of courting were sat down by their father figure who explained the importance of marriage. The boy was expected to start thinking of proposing to his lover.

Getting engaged.

Though courtships were short and often only lasted less than a year, engagements were commonly much longer, and usually lasted several years. This was especially the case for working-class couples, as they had to work to save money for the marriage.

Though boys were allowed to ask their girlfriends for their eternal love via an owl, it was much more proper to do so in person. It wasn't permitted to propose marriage with a ring, though they were often obligated by the families to officiate the engagement with one.

After the couple decided to get married, the boy was supposed to visit his future wife's house often. Visits were often made in the evening and when he came over, he needed to pay attention to everyone in the family, not just his fiancée. The goal was to slowly win over the family's affection, especially the girl's mother.

Engagement rings were a means of showing a boy's wealth. If he had worked at the workshops or had inherited some Galleons from his family, he could gift his lover a more intricately designed one. Rings ranged from a simple band to a collection of carved initials and differing gems.

Rings weren't often gifted to boys from their girlfriend, though if her fortune permitted it, she could have a custom wand handle made for him.

Gift giving became more frequent amongst the lovers, as did penning love letters, since the couple would be spending more time apart to work and earn money. Gifts were allowed to be given in private now too. Lockets were often (officially now) exchanged with a small enchanted cloud inside. The light represented the giver's mood: red meant anger, blue meant sadness, pink meant in love, green meant happy. A bewitched bouquet or a self-writing quill could also be thoughtful presents.

Once the couple got engaged, they were officially allowed to get closer to each other physically. No couple had the nerve to tell their parents they had probably already kissed and perhaps spent the night in their lover's dormitory already, and that they snuck out just before the prefects and house elves would catch them. Nevertheless, they were now officially allowed to go for walks by themselves, hold hands in public, and take rides without anyone accompanying them. They could also share a hug, a sweet kiss, or hold hands publicly now.