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#i put up with family bc i still live under the roof but the minute i don't have to there dead in all aspects but physical to me
karomiiz · 2 years
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why is it so hard talking to humans 🙃
#sometimes i do wish i didn't have like any best friends and only had shallow relationships#i'm not good at these types of things#people tire me out and request too much emotional attention that i can't really give me#and then there's the constant trying not to be rude and overstep boundaries and whatnot bc the more you know about a perosn#*person/the easier it is to upset them bc you know what makes them tick#you have to figure out ways to not upset people all. the. time. i hate it it's exhausting my introvert shell is coming back in#because people really are just so tiring right now#probably bc i am back home but gosh#are all people this exhausting?!#like as soon as you get super close to them why does it feel like such a chore to be around them#literally every person i am close to irl it's just so tiring like having to keep up with them talk to them and whatnot#shallow friends are easier bc i don't have to talk to people all the time#i don't have to take care of them or give them emotional attention#they take care of their own life i do the same#this is why i so firmly believe that romantic love is a waste afdasdfasdf#i do not think it's real alas bc all relationships whether familial platonic and romantic are hard work#and i work enough as it is i don't want to work more in a relationship that i have yet to find is worth putting up with all this work#i put up with family bc i still live under the roof but the minute i don't have to there dead in all aspects but physical to me#i put up with best friends bc we have baggage and shit that we haul together so i am essentially trapped#like jesus this is all so much work#are all relationships supposed to be this draining 24/7?#like why do people even have friends or relationships if that's the case humans sure do like pursuing these that have very little realistic#gain bc i mean honestly i see people as data and that's my worse habit i know but like#if you can't be pragmatically something worth keeping than i don't see that point of you being there#which is how i view my family as well i mean if i were to run an analysis and find that most of the things are negative than positive#than in my eyes i will associate with you but won't have any#thoughts about you like you've just diminished#anyway time to go soak in a bath and reset my brain
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scintillasofbeomgyu · 3 years
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-ˏˋ⋆ ̥ 𝗳𝗼𝘅'𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗲𝘁𝗵 – part one: the beginning (cyj)
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pairing: choi yeonjun x fem!reader x kang taehyun
genre(s): fantasy, period!fic, nine-tailed fox!yeonjun, crown prince!taehyun, angst, fluff here and there
word count: 4,1k
the spirit who had been guarding the south side of the mountain, a nine-tailed fox, is requested by the crown prince of Joseon to make an appearance before his betrothed. though reluctant at first, he agrees on condition that their meeting is fleeting and under the guise of a mask.
an: this was inspired by the kdrama ‘tale of the nine-tailed’, hence the similar elements. events may or may not be historically accurate. ++ i’m really anxious about how this fic will be taken, but i’ve put too much effort in to let it sit in my drafts ksks. might post the part 2 if you want! let me know what you think!
(finally posting this as a gift for the immense support i’ve been receiving! thank you! ❤️ and low-key bc sumi has been thinkin about kitsune yeonjun)
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Sealed by the promise of two youths many moons ago, your betrothal to the crown prince of Joseon was something which was not unbeknownst to anyone in the country. Many young ladies, noble and common alike, coveted your fortune and would make desperate pleas to the gods to have half the luck you did. And perhaps anyone else would have boasted about how fate had favoured them, but you didn’t.
“(Y/n)? Are you listening?” his highness asked, raising an eyebrow as you continued to flip through the pages of a book you had picked up from his desk. You placed the book back where you found it and turned to look from the pavilion, out across the pond and above the canopy tops to the mountains in the distance.
What had intrigued you about the palace was not the status, nor the riches, nor the people who dwelt within it. After all, you preferred to be neck-deep in books of history and literature, poetry, and volumes which questioned which was myth and which was reality. Your father, though, was as open-minded as anyone else was about the education of women at the time – not at all. So you had resorted to killing two birds with one stone; appeasing your father by agreeing to meet with the prince meant getting your hands on books you wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else.
But today, you had an entirely different motive.
“Do you believe in mythical beings, your Highness?” you asked, turning to face the prince who stared back at you, wide-eyed.
The seemingly sudden question had him taken aback.
From the very first meeting, you had puzzled Taehyun. Like you, although he knew he had to do it some day, the topic of his marriage hadn’t interested him. Or rather, it was more important to him that the person he would one day wed had the same interests as he did – the good of the people and the flourishing of the country.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t expect you to be as crazed about love and titles as the other noblewomen of Joseon were, at first. So he was pleasantly surprised when you had arrived at Gyeongbokgung, not batting an eyelash in his direction. But when he had attempted to open discussions about politics and solving the exorbitant taxes expected from the people, he’d find your nose buried in one of the books from the pile you sifted through by his desk.
Taehyun was already struggling to figure you out, and now you asked him this.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” he cocked his head to the side, folding his hands behind his back. “have you come across something thought-provoking?”
“It’s quite straightforward; a yes or no question.” you shrugged, smirking as your eyes caught the not-so-discreet glances his personal guard and the eunuch had given one another.
Ultimately, to have relations with the throne was not all sunshine and roses. For your own protection, and to ensure you were not used as leverage against the king, your father had sent you very far from home – to Southern Jeolla. And it was upon your arrival back in Hanyang, after many years away, that you had come to hear the rumours which had surrounded the royal family.
A gumiho. A nine-tailed fox. The spirit which protected the forest. A being which could not be trusted. The one to whom the country owed it’s prosperity. The one at whose hands the country could fall into havoc.
You knew better than to believe the words of storytellers and self-proclaimed chroniclers. It was the fact that they had all said the same thing which had perturbed you. It left this unsettling feeling, which just wouldn’t fade away. So you read book after book, folklores and retellings, each and every documented account of those who had insisted they had seen the man with ‘eyes which glowed like hot embers even in the light of day’. It nearly drove you insane.
That was, until just this morning, when you had overheard the court ladies chattering away in hushed tones about how so-and-so had come to see the prince again, how much so-and-so frightened them, and how they wondered for how much longer the king would leave the future of the kingdom in the hands of such a wild-card.
You turned to look out beyond the trees again, a sudden gush of wind rattling their branches and sending their leaves sailing through the air. “Let me meet him. This... friend of yours, your Highness.”
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“No.”
Taehyun nodded, taking a leaf from the shrub in front of him between his fingers, “I thought you’d say that.”
Yeonjun huffed, taking a bite out of one of the freshly picked apples the prince had brought along with him on his visit (as some sort of incentive, he supposed). The scowl he had adorned etched deeper into his face as Taehyun’s proposition crossed his mind a second time. He should have left the boy to the wandering spirits all those years ago, is what he thought. The fact that Yeonjun had allowed him to follow him around and meet with him must have made him cocky.
In the beginning, he trusted them. Yeonjun had spent thousands of years cultivating the forest and protecting those which lived beneath it’s canopy. He had taken an oath to never allow any harm to come to it, and as a sort of by-product, had taken up an arrangement with the king to hand over to him any miscreants who chanced into his territory. And for hundreds of years, this agreement was honored. King after king had revered the spirit who protected the people, throwing grand festivals in his honor.
Until humans did what they always do. They became consumed by greed and corrupted by power. They feared that the existence of a powerful being, and the esteem in which the people held it, threatened the very authority of the throne.
On a night which felt like yesterday to Yeonjun, the then king had convinced him to appear before the people, reasoning that he deserved to be celebrated and loved; not lurking in the depths of a forest where he wondered alone. His yearning for family provoked, he had left, only to return to enormous crackling fires which devoured everything in their path.
Now he was being asked to entertain the likes of one of them again? An insolent, entitled woman who was probably the daughter of some power-hungry government official nonetheless? He wouldn’t allow himself to be made a fool out of again.
“I’m aware you cannot leave the forest unguarded for long periods of time, especially at night,” Taehyun said, brushing the bits of earth from his hand onto his silk garment. “which is why I want to bring her here.”
The half-eaten apple hit the forest floor with a thud.
“What did you just say?” the same incredulity written on Yeonjun’s face, embedded into his voice.
Taehyun grinned sheepishly, “Hyung, can’t you do me this one favour?”
Quickly taking a seat beside him, the crown prince of the Joseon dynasty grabbed onto the sleeve of Yeonjun’s black robe and tugged at it. Yeonjun sucked a sharp breath of air through his teeth and slapped his hands away. The memory of a scared little boy in disheveled clothes, sobbing as snot ran down onto his lips crossed Yeonjun’s mind. He bit back the grin which fought to pull at his lips.
“I thought you weren’t interested in love? Why all the effort then?”
Taehyun dropped his hands from where they had been grappling at Yeonjun’s robe and stood up, clearing his throat before folding his hands behind his back again. Yeonjun smirked. “It’s not by choice, the woman in question is frightening. Only the gods would know the lengths she would have gone to had I refused her.”
Many minutes of back and forth bickering had passed before Taehyun managed to convince Yeonjun to appear before you. This reluctant agreement came with conditions, however. Leaving the mountain for even a moment during nightfall was out of the question, but that didn’t mean that he was okay with some suspicious woman wandering into his home. So, they had settled on the foot of the mountain closest to the north side. Yeonjun had also made sure to point out that although he had agreed to let you see him, he never agreed to introductions.
“You never struck me as the type to attend parties in the evening, your Highness,” you hollered from your palanquin which lagged behind his. When no reply came, you seethed, biting back the urge to punch a hole through the expensive wooden barrier in front of you. He had suddenly appeared at your father’s estate just as the sun had dipped beyond the horizon, not bothering to give an explanation before your father had the guards stuff you into the tiny varnished vehicle. “You haven’t yet answered me, your Majesty. The question from earlier.”
You cried out in pain when the palanquin was suddenly set down, tossing you up in the air like a shuttlecock. Hand still pressing down on your head from where it had hit the roof of the palanquin, you glared at Taehyun’s outstretched hand when the door folded open. You violently slapped the hand away and pulled back your skirt, nearly kicking his shins as you climbed out. Accidentally, of course.
Your behaviour amused Taehyun, a smirk finding its way to his lips. He whispered something to Soobin, his personal guard, who had given him a distressed look in return. He sighed as Taehyun placed a hand on his shoulder, giving a quick nod before returning to the entourage. You raised an eyebrow when Taehyun offered you a smile, gesturing his hand to the left of where the road forked into two.
The evening air was brisk; the various flora emitting a plethora of unique smells which blended together as they crawled into your nose. Leaves rustled as the forest creatures scurried across the floor; the occasional flapping of wings and hoots of the wide-eyed, mice-eating predators filling the otherwise eerie silence. The pale moon, which shone like a great halo in the sky, casted it’s light through the trees, creating beautiful natural skylights and mysterious shadows. The breeze was ever-so gentle, seemingly caressing your cheeks as you followed Taehyun down the path filled with earthy soil.
“You’re going to kill me aren’t you?” He chuckled at the question you had posed. He took a firm hold of your hand as he helped you cross the stream you had encountered, squeezing it a little tighter as your shoe glided off some algae, smiling when he heard the under-the-breath cuss.
When you had both safely crossed over into the field of long grass on the other side of the bank, he caught his breath for a moment. “My men say there came a troupe from Jeonju in Northern Jeolla a few days back,” Taehyun started, motioning for you to follow behind him as he stalked through the vegetation.
You groaned. Just how much torture was he planning to put you through? Did he find out you had ‘borrowed’ some of the books from his shelf?
After another few dreadful minutes of walking, an enormous tree came into your sights. It’s trunk looked as if it could house a small population, and it’s branches spread far across the open space; a meadow. Taehyun smiled in satisfaction and wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead, before placing his hands on his hips. Was this what he wanted to show you? You were far too tired, and your feet hurt way too much to enjoy the sentiment.
“Right, as I was saying,” The prince continued. You took a seat on the soft blades of grass and began pulling the shoes off your aching feet. “Despite journeying across the country to perform in gisaeng houses, I’m told the productions of this troupe were rather enthralling – ”
The sound of your snorting earned a glare from the prince. You shook your hand, “I find myself in constant surprise this evening, your Highness,” you laughed. “Hearing the term‘gisaeng’ from your mouth would send chills down anyone’s spine.”
The distant strumming of a zither whispered in your ears and your body froze. Slowly, the field, which had been lit only by the silvery hues offered by the moon, glowed in shades of green and yellow as fireflies hovered in the air. Then the zither stopped. Your neck snapped in the direction of scuffling feet by the tree trunk. Figures dressed in black placed paper lanterns varying in size at the base of the trunk, before scaling up to the branches.
A gasp slipped from your lips when the zither had suddenly started playing again; much louder this time. Ribbons dropped from different branches around the tree, carrying men and women who spun as they unravelled. Sporting white masks in the form of a fox, they danced around the tree, twirling and swinging back, dipping low before soaring through the air with such delicacy it gave you goosebumps.
“This performance is called the Fox’s Hiraeth,” Taehyun whispered, eyes fixated on the scene before of him, “you asked the other day did you not? About gumihos in Hanyang.”
His Highness’ attempt to throw you off was painfully obvious in that moment, and it did not go unnoticed. But just before you could make the remark that you had been carefully curating for exactly this situation, the zither had come to a stop once again. Leaves rustled above you and you lifted your head into a pair of the prettiest eyes you had ever seen.
They were a shade of light brown; little flecks of green and amber peeking from in-between when light passed through them. Bewilderment swam in those sparkling orbs behind the mask, it’s wearer holding his breath, not looking away for even a moment. The feeling in your chest drew a smile onto your lips, so big, it pushed up the corners of your eyes.
“Hello.”
He pulled back suddenly, and a strong gust of wind blew right through you, making you squeeze your eyes shut. The wind seemed to blow harder and harder – Taehyun had to press his hands onto your shoulders to prevent you from being gone with it. When it had died down and you opened your eyes again, you shot up, shoving his hands away.
The lights had gone out and the fireflies were nowhere to be seen. The lanterns and the troupe too had vanished into thin air; leaving not a trace. But that was not what was distressing you.
Hands clenching fists into your satin skirt, your eyes searched desperately, “where did he go?”
“Who?” Taehyun questioned, tightening the black cloth strings of his gat. He blinked, feigning innocence so professionally, it antagonised you. “The performance is over; we should leave.”
Pulling your lips between your teeth, the agonizing feeling of having lost something important tearing at your chest, you made a decision. You were positive that Taehyun knew exactly what was going on, but you weren’t about to waste any more time trying to force an answer out of the tight-lipped prince.
Where the meadow under the peculiar tree ended, the forest started again, and spread all across the mountain. You could have been mistaken, and that man may have just been another one of the performers. But it was the forest. It felt as if it was calling out to you; screaming. Every one of your limbs ached to dash into its depths.
Taehyun cleared his throat and turned away instantaneously when he noticed you hurriedly tearing off your blouse. You tossed the garment carrying the golden emblem to the ground, and slipped your shoes back on, ignoring Taehyun’s voice which bombarded you with questions.
He grabbed onto your hand before you left and you stopped, peering down at where your bodies were joined. “It’s dangerous.” he said; his voice as firm as his grip, yet eyes pleading with you like those of a child.
Despite your fathers’ lasting friendship, you had never met Taehyun until a few days ago. And if you did, you couldn’t recall. The confounded stares he had thrown at you upon your arrival had amused you; they were not contrary to that of the other noblemen and their sons whom your father had introduced you to. You didn’t act like the prince’s woman – they had probably expected someone who they could easily manipulate and bribe to their liking – but you were very much the opposite.
It was his behaviour in the days that followed which had taken you by surprise. He’d have books stacked up all around his desk which varied in genre, and were organised by author and publication date, whenever you visited. He seldom spoke and never forced conversation with you, but he’d call for tea and sweets then leave them at a certain place on the tabletop untouched. You’d catch his eyes glancing up at you every once in a while in your peripheral vision, and a smile would find itself to your lips.
He cared for you and you had grown to care for him as well. But you knew that if you left with him right now, your insatiable curiosity would only grow and you’d just end up returning here anyway.
Placing your hands over his, eyes asking him to forgive you, you slipped out of his grasp.
“I’ll be okay.”
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Yeonjun paced up and down the cliff once more. He glanced over his shoulder at the mask resting against a boulder behind him, then slapped his hands onto his face and lamented. He couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. Everything was happening exactly as he had planned – the dokkaebi had put on their show, relishing in the fact that they were pranking humans; the trees, the breeze and the critters had agreed to set the mood for what he had intended to be your heart being won over by the Taehyun.
He peeked through the spaces in his fingers at the wooden guise, and proceeded toward it. He knelt down and picked it up, eyes fixating on the slots where they were housed previously. He was certain he had prepared for everything, but that all changed when his eyes met with yours.
They stared back at him in surprise, but that surprise slowly transitioned into a warmth which enveloped him; the light of the lanterns which reflected from them, inviting him closer. They scared him, too. Under the mask he had given himself the appearance of one of the lumberers who frequented the forest, but your eyes seemed to stare right through him. They reached into his depths, baring him before you.
Yeonjun glared, irritated with how foolish he had been. He should have trusted his instinct and refused Taehyun no matter how much he insisted. It was absurd that after all these centuries he still let himself fall prey to the ludicrous fantasy he would ever be able to live and feel as they do – he knew that was the real reason he had gone along with this preposterous idea.
His grip on the mask tightened before he hurled it into the bushes. Your voice exclaimed an ‘Ow!’, making him topple over in surprise. The golden rays of sun spilled over the summit just as you stepped out from the flora, bathing you in it’s warmth and highlighting your features as it chased away the night. You rubbed your head profusely where the mask had hit you, pausing when you noticed Yeonjun’s figure on the floor.
Hands on your hips, smiling in triumph, you blew the stray strands of hair from your face. “Found you.”
He had never in his life met such a vivacious woman. Your hair looked like a bird’s nest; tiny twigs and leaves buried within the now tousled black locks. There were tears in your hanbok. Stains of dirt, grass and mud soiled the skirt. Alas, you still had a stupid smile plastered across your mucky face. He caught himself before he started grinning like an idiot too, shuffling amongst the earth before rising with his back turned towards you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. Was he looking down on your intellect?
“You’re not very clever for an ancient spirit,” you remarked, tossing the mask at his feet. His frame froze, making you scoff.
The hair cascading down his back was a pale shade pink which shimmered under the light. It contrasted the pitch black robes he adorned, which were embroidered with silver. When he turned around to give you a look of wry amusement, you noticed the bangs which framed his face were more washed out in colour compared to the rest of his head. His slanted eyes were mono-lidded, and they glistened as beautifully as the night before. His lips were plump; it’s colour reminded you of the strawberry tanghulu you had seen in the market.
He stepped closer to you, smirking at the way you were entranced by his beauty, until his face stood only inches away from yours. You cast your eyes away from him, gulping as you took a step back. His eyebrows furrowed when you cringed, staggering before you fell to the ground.
“Are you alright?” he fretted, the role of the charismatic flirt quickly abandoning him as he helped you to your feet. He wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you into his arms, and carried you to a place where you could sit comfortably. You gripped only his garments tightly, eyes still refusing to meet with his; the scent of flowers lingering on your clothes as he set you down. “His Majesty did not accompany you?”
He knelt down beside you and pulled off your shoes. Blood had soaked into your socks from all the hiking you had done the night before – the back of your shoes had cut deep into your heels; climbing over boulders and through thick vegetation had made the soles of your feet sensitive and prone to cuts and scratches. He pulled his lip between his teeth, eyes shooting daggers into yours.
He poured some of the alcohol he had been storing over your wounds, and massaged in the compound he made of medicinal herbs he had momentarily disappeared to go and find. He tore pieces of his robe to bind them when he was finished, then folded his arms over his chest. “I’m taking you back to the palace.”
You jolted up from where you were seated; Yeonjun pushed your shoulders back down. “None of my questions have been answered, I’m not leaving until they are.”
“Don’t you have a prince to marry?” he contended, tapping a finger on his chin, “they’re not going to be impressed when you return looking like this.”
“What’s your name? Are you really a nine-tailed fox? How old are you? Do you eat human livers? If so, why? Is it true that you are only able to receive titles like the ‘Spirit of the Mountain’ when you don’t feed human on livers? Are you actually a woman? Do you really want the best for this country? Do you wish to bring it to ruin for your own pleasure? Is it true that – ”
He took a step closer to you, and lifted your chin with his finger, closing your mouth. You held your breath as his eyes flickered to your lips, and he smirked noticing the blush spread across your face. He reached behind you and pulled the jade pin from your hair, the tresses falling gently down your back. Bringing the hairpin before you, and his lips to your ear, he whispered, “I dare not rob the future king of his woman, my lady. You should return home for your own safety.”
His hand travelled down the length of your arm, trailing goosebumps and setting fire to your skin. He placed the pin into your hand and lifted it, brushing his lips across your knuckles. His eyes locked with yours and you gasped as they glowed like a setting sun.
A horse whinnied as it strode into the area, making you tear your eyes away from Yeonjun’s. Taehyun slid off it’s back, rushing to your side. He grabbed onto your shoulders brows furrowing as he examined you from top to bottom. “Are you alright, (Y/n)?”
You nodded absent-mindedly, searching for where he had gone. Taehyun led you to his horse, and lifted you onto the saddle, sighing as he found you still trying to see past the trees and their leaves. You squeezed onto your chest as you rode away, an inexplicable feeling overtaking you. You had to see him again. Not out of curiosity. No, you – you just had too.
Yeonjun held onto the trunk of the pine tree and swung his body around from the backside. Watching you ride off into the distance, eyes still set on finding him, he sighed, twirling the ring he had slipped off your finger around his.
“(Y/n), huh?” he muttered under his breath, exhilarated by the way it rolled off his tongue.
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petersasteria · 3 years
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The Life of A Mobster's Wife || Arvin Russell
Russell || Main || Taglist
Mob!Arvin x Reader (Modern AU) Requested? Nah 9,818 words (pls send feedback bc this is the longest mob fic i've done and i want to know if it's alright or if i should just leave the mob au alone sksk) W: asshole!arvin, doesn't follow canon, curse words, killing, cheating, so many fucked up shit
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Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen. You didn’t know that your life would take such a dark turn the moment you met Arvin. The second he smiled at you, you were a goner. You were hooked on him; addicted. Everything should’ve been a red flag and the people around you told you that something about him seemed off. That should have alarmed you, but you took what they said personally. One by one, they all left you and only Arvin was left by your side. That should have been a sign too.
You told yourself that you’d be happy and you were. You were together for six months and then you got married. Now, six years later, you have a son who just turned six and a husband who doesn’t even sleep in the same bed as you anymore. You didn’t know what went wrong, but everything suddenly changed.
Arvin made sure you and your son were away from him, so he bought a big apartment in the Upper East Side for both of you. Arvin would stay there sometimes, but most of the time, he was working; killing, kidnapping people for ransom, selling weapons, selling drugs, etc. He wanted you away from those especially, Hayden; your son.
You wanted for things to change because Hayden hardly ever sees Arvin and they don’t have a connection. You also wanted another baby and you felt like Arvin was too busy for that. Wanting to focus on your husband, you decided it was best to hire a nanny to attend to your son’s needs. However, it was difficult to look for a nanny when you’re keeping everything a secret. You were lucky enough to hire a personal doctor.
Amelia Avery Hudson is a trauma surgeon, but you hired her as your personal doctor to treat your husband and his men if they have wounds. The other doctors you asked turned down your offer. When you asked Amelia, she immediately agreed. Amelia didn’t really have a choice. She applied because she needed to pay her student loans back. Plus, she needed to keep a roof over her head and rent was expensive in New York. She’s a fresh graduate and she had trouble finding a job that fitted her career path. Your offer was perfect and she saw it just in time. She hoped that no one took the job yet and luck was on her side because she’s been your personal doctor ever since.
Amelia’s only there during the evening from 7PM until 12 midnight. Having signed an NDA, she had no one to tell about the things she’s seen. She knew that if she even tried, Arvin would somehow find out and kill her with no mercy. She didn’t want to risk it.
Amelia’s feisty, but she was nice. The poor girl had a terrible life. She kept moving from one foster home to another when she was younger. Because of that, she grew up strong. She’s a remarkable woman and you were glad that you met her. You weren’t close, but you had a good relationship with her. Sometimes, she’d entertain Hayden which meant a lot to you.
You put up a poster for the nanny position and a few applicants were interested. You looked through their resumes and interviewed them one by one. Out of everyone, only one person stood out. Her name was Celeste.
“Tell me more about yourself, Celeste.” You smiled at her. You didn’t feel comfortable interviewing people in your apartment, so you always made sure the interviewees met you in your favorite restaurant in the upper east side.
“I-I’m Celeste Regina Dela Cruz. Eighteen years old. Um-”
“I know those things.” You laughed. “It’s on your resume. Just loosen up and tell me about yourself. Would it make you more comfortable if I went first?”
Celeste nodded, clearly intimidated. You smiled and said, “I’m Y/N Russell and I never finished college because I got married. I dropped out and left everything behind to be with my husband. I was also pregnant when we got married, so we never really had a decent alone time. I volunteer a lot for my son’s school and I make sure that my son has everything. Right now, he’s on a waiting list for multiple colleges.”
“Wait, how old is he?”
“He’s 6 years old.” You said before taking a sip of water. “It’s nice to be prepared, though. At least we know that he has a slot when the time comes.”
Celeste nodded and you motioned for her to start talking about herself. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth to talk, but the waiter arrived with your food. You both thanked the waiter and began eating.
“Please continue, Celeste.” You said as you took a bite of your food.
“I’m Celeste and I’m from the Philippines.” She said. “No wonder your accent is thick.” You pointed out and nodded for her to continue.
“I was able to come here because my tita- ay sorry- aunt; my aunt brought me here a year ago. I graduated high school, but I can’t go to college yet because my aunt is sick and she’s the one who pays for my schooling. College is very expensive and we can’t afford it anymore because of my aunt’s medicines.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” You frowned. You felt bad, truly. Here you were, a college dropout but you’re living a luxurious lifestyle. Of course, that’s all thanks to Arvin. You were just lucky that you married a rich man. But as you sat in front of Celeste, you felt the need to do something nice for her. After all, in your mind, she was hired already.
“Oh, it’s okay.” Celeste smiled. “We’re getting by. My friend told me to apply to you and that’s why I’m here.”
“I understand.” You said as you folded your hands on the table. “When can you start?”
“Ha? What?” Celeste furrowed her eyebrows.
“You’re hired, Celeste.” You chuckled. “When can you start?”
“Um… as soon as possible!” Celeste exclaimed and you nodded.
“Pack your things and I’ll send for Pemberley to pick you up at your home address. I’d just like to confirm that your address on your resume is still your home, yes?” You asked and she nodded quickly.
“Okay. I’ll give it to Pemberley. He’ll pick you up at 9:30AM sharp.” You grinned. You both shook hands and continued eating.
The next day, you welcomed Celeste in your apartment and gave her a tour. She looked amazed at everything and it was entertaining to see. You told her that she wasn’t allowed in the master bedroom unless told and she wasn’t allowed in Arvin’s office.
You looked at your watch and gasped, “Oh, my! I’m late for a meeting. Make yourself at home and don’t forget to pick up Hayden from pre-school at 2:15. I have a note for you in your room. Please read it.” You quickly grabbed your bag and coat and left.
Celeste stood there and made her way to her room. After roaming around for 2 minutes, she finally saw her room and read the note.
Hello, Celeste! These are the rules:
Hayden can’t eat seafood. He is allergic.
No sugar-y or chocolate-y drinks before bed. Only one glass of milk with no sugar.
Sandwiches are not allowed to be eaten in his room because of crumbs.
If Hayden has no classes, you may take him to the park or the museum. As long as there are only a few people.
Stay away from crowded places. I beg.
Give Hayden a bath before bed.
Call me only when severe emergencies happen.
Your laundry schedule is the same as Hayden’s; TTh.
Always bring a small first aid kit in your bag and make sure you have a full container of hand sanitizer AT ALL TIMES.
Keep an eye on Hayden. He is your main priority.
P.S. Have fun! Eat whatever you want and if you need anything, please give Jose your own list before he goes grocery shopping.
Celeste taped the note on the wall next to her bed and started unpacking her things. She looked at her watch and realized that it was time to pick up Hayden from school. She quickly grabbed her small bag and ran to the front door.
Hayden’s school was just around the corner, so it was easy for Celeste to pick him up. There were many nannies waiting for kids to be picked up and Celeste was a bit overwhelmed that her job was actually starting. She never had training or anything.
A few more minutes of waiting, the door opened and out came a plethora of running and screaming children. During the apartment tour you gave her from hours before, she remembered you showing her a family picture that was recently taken. With that in mind, Celeste was able to remember what Hayden looked like.
Celeste looked around and saw a young boy by the steps, looking around. “Hayden!” Celeste shouted, causing the boy to look at her. Celeste walked over and said, “Hayden Russell?”
The boy nodded. She smiled, “I’m your new nanny. My name is Celeste.”
Using his manners, Hayden shook Celeste’s hand. Celeste grinned and took Hayden’s bag from him. She held his hand and they walked home. The walk home was short and quiet, but it was comfortable. When they walked into the fancy apartment building and into the elevator, Hayden spoke up.
“Can I call you ‘Celie’, instead? Like a super agent secret name? It’ll be cool.” Hayden said, causing Celeste to smile at him.
“Sure!” Celeste said.
When they arrived in the apartment unit, you were already home. Hayden ran up to you and you bent down to pick him up and hug him.
“How was school?” You asked as you kissed his forehead.
“It was fun! We learned so many things and we had arts and crafts and we-”
“That’s great, sweetie!” You smiled before putting him down. “You can play sudoku in the living room.”
Hayden made a face, “But I hate sudoku.”
“Yes, but it’ll help you stimulate your brain. Think of it as a mental exercise.” You grinned before softly nudging him to the living room where his sudoku book was waiting for him on the coffee table. Hayden begrudgingly walked to the living room and you turned to Celeste, “We need to talk.”
You turned around and walked to your husband’s office. He wasn’t there anyway and you had the freedom to speak business there. “Follow me.” You said without looking behind you. Celeste was scared shitless. She did the sign of the cross and prayed on her way to Arvin’s office.
“Aba Ginoong Maria, napupuno ka ng grasya, Ang Panginoong Diyos ay sumasaiyo. Bukod kang pinagpala sa babaeng lahat at pinagpala rin naman ang anak mong si Hesus. Santa Maria, Ina ng Diyos, ipanalangin mo kaming makasalanan ngayon at kung kami’y mamamatay. Amen. (Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.)” Celeste muttered under her breath. You opened the door to Arvin’s office and was immediately met with the darkness due to the closed curtains and lights that were not switched on. The only light present was the sun’s light peeping through the spaces between the curtains. You walked in and Celeste followed suit and closed the door behind her.
You sat on Arvin’s chair and read the papers that you previously laid there on the table. “Please, sit.” You motioned for her to sit in front of you and she did.
“I told you that I had a meeting earlier. I met with important people and we went through your records.” You told Celeste. Celeste knew that she didn’t do anything wrong and that she had a clean record, but that didn’t stop her from worrying.
Was she in trouble for declining her father’s call from the Philippines? Or perhaps she was in trouble for cursing her cousin. She wasn’t sure.
“And I’d like to applaud you for having remarkable and outstanding grades. Straight A’s?! I didn’t know you were smart. You didn’t put in your resume that you were a valedictorian.” You smiled sweetly. You were impressed.
“I didn’t put it because I don’t want to be hired because I’m a valedictorian. I want to be hired because you want me for the job.” Celeste said and you nodded in understanding.
“That’s very humble of you.” You smiled. “Anyway, I submitted your records to multiple colleges and they immediately got back to me.”
You opened the drawer and took out at least ten envelopes from well known universities. You handed the envelopes to her and motioned for her to read each one.
Yale University
Stanford University
Harvard University
New York University
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Cornell University
Brown University
University of California, Los Angeles
University of Pennsylvania
Columbia University
“I want you to look through those and read each one. You also have the freedom to check each university’s website to see what they look and what they offer and if what they’re offering is what you want, tell me.” You told her.
“That’s very nice of you, ma’am.” Celeste said, clearly overwhelmed with what you just told her. “I can’t afford it. It’s too- mahal. Ang mahal po kasi.(expensive. It’s too expensive.)”
You stared at her as she spoke to you in a foreign language. Not just any foreign language, her native language. She quickly realized what she said and said, “The tuition fee is too expensive.”
“You know, for a valedictorian, you’re kind of slow.” You joked. “Sweetie, you don’t have to worry about it because we’ll pay for your tuition fee.”
She gasped and squealed, “Thank you!”. She jumped out of her chair, did a small dance, and went up to hug you which took you by surprise. You smiled brightly and patted her arm as a sign of affection. It felt nice to do something good for once even though your husband does a lot of bad things. Sometimes you think that all the good things you’ve done are payback for all the bad things Arvin has done.
Celeste quickly let go of you and went back to her seat. She cleared her throat and apologized and you waved your hand and said that it was nothing. You debated with yourself on whether you should tell Celeste about your husband’s mob or not. You decided against it and told yourself that you’ll tell her when she asks.
“I’ll enroll you in any university you pick and I’ll make an arrangement that your tasks during the day until you pick up Hayden, are done face to face. Meaning, you’ll physically attend classes at the university of choice. Of course, that only applies here in New York.” You explained.
“Should you choose a university that isn't in New York, you'll be enrolled in online classes." You told her and she nodded.
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much!" Celeste said sincerely which made you smile.
"You're welcome. Study well and you can join Hayden in the living room now. I'm sure he's done with his sudoku. He should be reading his French book now." You said as you looked at the time on your phone before standing up. Celeste stood up too and held the letters close to her chest.
"I think my husband is coming home tonight, so we'll eat dinner at his favorite restaurant. Get ready at 6PM. Knowing him, he'll be late." You said and left the office with Celeste following behind. She closed the door and quickly went to the living room to check out the letters.
You went straight to your shared bedroom with Arvin and quickly went to your walk in closet that Arvin built for you. You scanned through the rack for dresses and scanned through multiple shoes to match your dress. You knew it was still 3:30PM, but you liked being prepared.
Your phone rang and you immediately answered it without looking to see who it was. “Hello?” You answered while grabbing a cerulean colored cocktail dress from the rack and holding it against you and checking it in front of a mirror.
“Y/N, honey, it’s me.” Arvin said. His voice was raspy and there’s no doubt that it’s because of his smoking habit. He’s trying to lessen it because according to him, he didn’t want to have cancer and he didn’t want his life cut short. Despite that, he still smoked… less than before. He was really trying. Key word: trying.
“You’re smoking right now, huh?” You asked, already tired of his shit. You loved him so much, but you didn’t have the energy of being his wife anymore. Probably because he doesn’t treat you like one.
“Mind your own business, woman!” Arvin hissed. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it still kind of hurt. “I’m just worried about you and you said that you’ll lessen the smoking.” You said calmly. You didn’t want to fight with him; it’s useless.
“I am. This is my third stick today and it’s late in the afternoon.” Arvin said, pushing his hair back. “Anyway, I called to tell you that I’ll be coming home tonight and I’m sleeping there.”
“Wow, it’s been a while. How long will you stay here?” You asked, hiding your excitement.
“I’m taking 7 days off. Starting tomorrow.” Arvin said. He gathered his things, got up from his seat and walked out of his office. “I’m leaving The Hamptons as we speak.”
“Alright. I’ll be waiting for you.” You said.
“What’re you up to right now, darling?” He asked, exiting the mansion and went straight to the limo. The door was being held open by Jeeves, the chauffeur. Arvin got inside and Jeeves closed the door before quickly getting in and driving.
“I’m picking a dress for tonight. I made reservations because you’re coming home.” You told him and he smiled.
“That’s sweet of you, darling. I’ll text you when I’m almost home, okay?” Arvin said.
“Oh, ok-”
Arvin hung up the phone and you sighed. You put the phone on top of the small chair before picking another dress.
Hours later, you received a text from Arvin saying that he was already around the corner and that he’ll just wait for you in the limo. You quickly finished getting ready and walked out of your room wearing a steel blue dress that you knew Arvin loved. You wore heels that matched it and wore dangling earrings that you wore on your wedding anniversary.
Celeste was wearing a polka-dotted blouse and a skirt that ran until her knees. She was wearing an old pair of Mary Jane’s and her hair was neatly combed. She had a hairpin to clip it back and on her shoulder, was a ‘nanny bag’ that you gave her. Hayden was wearing black pants and a button up that you bought last year. He was wearing black sneakers to match his outfit.
All three of you left the apartment and quickly made your way to the elevator. The elevator ride was short and before you knew it, you were in the lobby. Seeing the limo from afar, Hayden ran towards it causing Celeste to run after him. You walked quickly knowing that Arvin hated waiting.
Hayden opened the limo’s door and went inside to give his father a hug. “I missed you, daddy!” Hayden said with a smile and kissed his cheek. Arvin hugged back tightly and kissed the top of his head.
Arvin loved Hayden. The boy was like a copy of him and Hayden was Arvin’s most prized possession. He was the reason that Arvin worked hard and he was the reason that Arvin is sane. Although he doesn’t mind having more kids, Hayden was more than enough for him and he was content with that.
“I missed you too, buddy!” Arvin smiled widely and sat Hayden on his lap. Hayden started talking about what happened while he was away and Arvin was listening. Celeste went inside the limo and sat across from Arvin causing him to glance at Celeste up and down with furrowed eyebrows. You quickly got in the limo next to Arvin and closed the door. Jeeves asked if everyone was ready and you said yes. Jeeves started driving and he turned the music down a bit.
This caught your attention and you internally groaned. You looked at Arvin and quietly said, “Really? You’re playing this music again?”
Not leaving his gaze on Celeste, he said, “My limo, my music.”
You rolled your eyes and looked out the window. Arvin’s music played through the speakers and you decided to help yourself with a glass of champagne just to get through the night.
“Are you washed? (Are you washed?) In the blood (In the blood) In the soul cleansing blood of the lamb?”
The music filled the quiet limo, Hayden stopped talking a minute ago, finding the scenery more amusing than his own stories. Arvin nudged you and whispered, “Who the hell is the chick?”
“Hayden’s new nanny.” You whispered. “I hired her yesterday. She’s from the Philippines and-”
“You know what? I’ll interview her during dinner.” Arvin cut you off. “I already interviewed her and she’s qualified.” You hissed.
“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.” Arvin said. “I’ll do the talking. You already got to know her and it’s my turn now. I want the best for my son.”
“She’s very intelligent, you know.”
“I don’t give a shit, Y/N.”
“Daddy said a no-no word.” Hayden said, his eyes not leaving the window. “Also, can I get a puppy? Jason’s daddy bought him a new puppy and I want one too.”
“Tomorrow.” Arvin answered. “I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll buy a puppy.”
“Arvin, babe, he’s not responsible enough for a puppy yet.” You told him, but Arvin shrugged you off. He didn’t care what you thought. If his son wants a puppy, he’s getting a puppy.
You arrived at the restaurant and immediately got out of the car. You went down first and Hayden followed after. Arvin glanced at Celeste and motioned for her to get out first and she did. Arvin was last and he closed the door behind him. “Buy yourself some food, Jeeves.” Arvin said as he handed $200 to Jeeves through the driver’s side. “Pick us up when I text you. Don’t be too far, alright?”
“Yes, sir.” Jeeves said before driving off.
You all waited for Arvin and all four of you entered the fancy restaurant. The hostess led you to your table that had a small card that said: ‘Reserved for Mrs. Russell’ in cursive. All four of you sat down and the hostess provided menus for you, Arvin, and Celeste. A kids’ menu was handed to Hayden and he smiled and thanked the hostess. Holding a menu made Hayden feel like a real man. He wanted to be just like his father and that scared you because Hayden doesn’t know about Arvin’s job. Neither did Celeste and you felt sick to your stomach knowing that you brought two innocent people in danger. If things get worse, you’ll fire Celeste and let her go back to her family while you make sure that traces of her are gone. After all, if they find Celeste, she might get killed. Chances are, her family gets killed too. It’s all connected.
Anyway, all Hayden knew was that his father takes down bad guys. To him, Arvin’s a hero. But you knew better. Hayden will find out when he’s older. One day, he’ll understand that not all people who take down bad guys are heroes.
You all ordered and handed the hostess back the menus. Arvin took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before turning his attention to Celeste. “What’s your name, and where are you from?” Arvin asked.
Celeste stared at him in shock, “A-Are you talking to me, sir?”
“Who else would I be talking to? Of course, I’m talking to you.” He scoffed which made you slap his arm lightly. “Introduce yourself to me. We haven’t met and if my wife thinks you’re qualified for this job, it is also my right to see if you’re qualified as well.”
“U-Um, okay. My name is Celeste Regina Dela Cruz and I’m from the Philippines. My aunt brought me here last year. I only graduated high school and-”
“Alright. How did you find out about this job?” Arvin asked.
“My friend told me about it, so I applied.” Celeste said. A waiter came by and poured champagne on yours and Arvin’s glasses while he poured water on Celeste’s and Hayden’s.
Arvin nodded, “Alright. Were you a nanny before this?”
“No, sir.” Celeste answered.
“So, what makes you qualified for this job? Why are you here?” Arvin questioned.
“I’m here because… I want to work and I think that being a nanny is the only way.” Celeste answered and Arvin nodded before turning to you.
“Have you discussed her salary?” He asked and you shook your head. He nodded and turned to Celeste, “Will $100 a day be enough?”
“Yes, sir.” Celeste nodded furiously.
“Alright, then. $100, it is. I’ll give you extra if you’re good.” He said before taking out his phone and kept himself busy. You gave Celeste a tight lipped smile and did the same.
What Arvin said struck a nerve on you. You knew of his affairs and ladies, that’s why you never visited your mansion in The Hamptons. You knew there’d be a plethora of girls who are throwing themselves at your husband. You also knew that he wasn’t faithful and you knew that because he smelled like women’s perfume and sometimes he’d have a smudge of foundation on his white shirt. You stayed with him anyway.
“Thank you, sir.” Celeste said with a small smile. She turned her attention to Hayden and entertained him with stories from back home.
“How was work?” You asked Arvin and he shrugged.
“Nothing special. Rodriguez finally paid back what he owes, so that’s that. Also, dad visited me this morning. He said that he wanted to see Hayden. I told him I’ll think about it.” Arvin said with no emotion.
Arvin’s relationship with his dad, Willard, was rocky. It was no secret that Arvin preferred the company of his mom rather than his dad. Charlotte, Arvin’s mom, was the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. She helped you with your pregnancy and she’s the one who told Arvin to keep you away from the mob things. She didn’t want Hayden to grow up in such a bloody environment. Besides, it wasn’t safe. She’d occasionally visit you and Hayden when she’s not busy.
“How were things while I was gone?” Arvin asked.
“Same old. The only new thing was hiring Celeste.” You told him and he nodded. He moved closer to you and asked in a low voice, “Does she know?”
You shook your head and he nodded, “Good. It should be kept that way.”
“We’ll be paying for her college education.” You said quietly and Arvin’s head quickly turned to you as he glared daggers at you. You paid him no mind as you took a sip of your champagne. “We’ll talk later.” Arvin said sternly.
The waiter arrived with your orders and all four of you began eating in silence. Celeste was too awkward to start a conversation, Hayden didn’t know what to say, Arvin will talk to you later in his office, and you didn’t want to engage in a conversation nor start it.
After that, you ordered desserts. You initially didn’t plan to order any, but Hayden wanted the strawberry cake that he saw at the other table. Therefore, Arvin ordered four slices of that. As Arvin took bites of it, he chuckled which made you look at him through your peripheral vision.
“What’s so funny?” You asked, before eating the cake that was on your fork and chewing it. Arvin shook his head, “Nothing. I just remembered our wedding cake. It was similar to this.”
You smiled at the thought and nodded, “Yeah, they are similar.”
Your complicated marriage with Arvin made you stressed. You didn’t know how to act around him, but he was a great actor. He acted like he wasn’t cheating on you, he acted like he wanted the domesticated life, he acted like everything about his family was normal, and above all, he acted like he was still in love with you.
The truth is, Arvin isn’t in love with you anymore. But he loved you; he still does. He will never stop loving and caring about you. He just doesn’t get the same feelings as he used to. Before, one look at you gave him butterflies in his stomach and the world turned into slow motion. Now, he looks at you and he feels nothing. In his mind, you’re just his wife and the mother of his child. He didn’t know what to do anymore, but he knew he couldn’t leave you. Leaving you would ruin him because he knew you’d take Hayden away from him.
Being unfaithful wasn’t part of his plan, but it just happened. Then it kept happening with different girls and he hated himself every time. He knew that you knew. After all, he wasn’t discreet about it either. Both of you just pretend that nothing’s happening, it’s all swept under the rug and it’s killing you.
After dessert, Arvin texted Jeeves to pick you up as you called a waiter for your bill. After paying, Jeeves was already outside. Celeste got up from her seat and carried Hayden, who was falling asleep already. You and Arvin followed.
The ride home was shorter and quicker. When you arrived in the apartment, Celeste went straight to Hayden’s room with him fast asleep in her arms. Arvin cleared his throat which caught your attention. You looked at him and he nodded his head towards his office. He went there and you trailed behind him.
When he opened the door, he switched on the lights and went straight to his desk. You entered and closed the door. You sat in front of him and waited for him to talk.
“Since when were we paying for someone else’s education?” Arvin asked.
“Since now.” You answered boldly. He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “Why?”
“I’ve seen her records. She’s a valedictorian and she deserves to go to college. Her aunt can’t pay for it and I volunteered. It’s a little ‘thank you’ for taking care of Hayden. Taking care of a child isn’t easy.” You explained.
“That’s her job. Her little ‘thank you’ is her salary.” Arvin said with his thick accent.
“She deserves more than that.” You told him. “We have so much money, anyway. Paying for her college education won’t even cause a dent in our bank account. Besides, you told her that if she’s good, you’ll give her extra cash. Now, what do you mean by that?”
You and Arvin stared at each other in silence. The tension was thick. It was obvious that you both have problems that you refused to bring up.
“Let’s go to bed.” Arvin said after a minute. He stood up and you stood up too. Both of you left his office and he turned the lights off. He went straight to your shared bedroom and you went to Hayden’s bedroom. When you peeked inside, Hayden was already asleep and wearing his pajamas. You took off your shoes and walked to his bed. You laid down next to him and hugged him as tears streamed down your face.
Being Arvin’s wife wasn’t easy and it wasn’t like the fantasy you had initially thought. You wanted a happy family, but Arvin doesn’t even lay with you anymore. Your day was tiring and chaotic with a mix of high and low emotions. You knew that it would repeat the next day and you already dreaded it. For now, you’ll just cuddle your 6-year-old son and try to get some sleep.
The next few days consisted of doing your daily tasks. The only difference is, Arvin was home and he joined in various tasks. He accompanied Celeste in picking up Hayden at school and true to his word, Arvin bought Hayden a puppy.
Now, the puppy is part of your daily tasks too. Hayden named his puppy 'Jack' and he loved it. Part of his new daily life, Hayden always made sure that Jack was nearby whenever he did anything whether it be sudoku or reading his French picture books.
Arvin loved Jack too. He even swore to Jack that he'd come home often. You rolled your eyes at that, but chose not to say anything. While you thought that nothing in your marriage will surprise you, you thought wrong. After his 7 days off, Arvin came home every night solely because of Jack and Hayden.
'Perfect.' You thought. 'At least he's coming home every night.'
It was now Sunday which meant that Hayden had horseback riding lessons at the back of your mansion in The Hamptons. Celeste was watching over Hayden with her cheap sunglasses on. The skirt of her dress was slightly lifting up due to the wind. You offered your hat to her, but she declined. She said that she was used to the sun because of the weather in the Philippines.
You and Arvin were in his office looking over Celeste’s university of choice. You were making calls and Arvin was checking out the university’s website on his laptop. You were currently on hold and you grabbed Celeste’s acceptance letter from Arvin’s desk. The envelope was open and you sat down on Arvin’s desk as you took out the letter from the envelope and read it.
Cornell University
Celeste Regina Dela Cruz 2264 Oak Street Manhattan, New York 10021
Dear Celeste Regina:
Congratulations on your acceptance into the College of Engineering at Cornell University! We are very pleased to be welcoming you to this coming academic year.
Very soon, you will receive your official letter of acceptance from us in the mail. We are excited that you will be joining the Cornell community and know that you will make a very positive contribution to the university.
Best regards,
Amanda K. Bishop Associate Vice Provost for Enrollment Cornell University
ENROLL AND DEPOSIT ONLINE: Please retain the URL and PIN provided in the notification email you received, as well as the password you created to view this letter. You will need all three in order to log in again to complete the Enrollment Response Form and submit your enrollment deposit.
You finished reading and before you knew it, you weren’t on hold anymore. You began talking to the person in charge and Arvin glanced at you from time to time while scrolling through Cornell’s website.
“I think she’ll enjoy Cornell, darling.” Arvin said, exiting Cornell’s site and you glanced at him and gave him a thumbs up before turning your attention to the call again. After an hour, you end the call and turn to Arvin.
“They agreed to let her do online classes and occasionally attend classes physically.” You informed him and he nodded.
“Do you think Hayden will get into Cornell? It’s a nice university.” Arvin asked. “I don’t really care where he gets in. I’ll be proud regardless.”
You gave him a small smile and said, “That’s wonderful. Speaking of Hayden, his horseback riding lessons should be done by now. Let’s go.”
You left Arvin’s office and he quickly followed behind you. “Is there something wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, not saying anything.
Days went on that way. You talked to Arvin less and less and he was starting to catch on to that. He also noticed that you don’t sleep next to him anymore and that you always made sure that you weren’t home when he comes home from the mob business.
-
The party was in full swing and the children were having so much fun. Arvin wasn’t a fan of parties, but he decided that it would be nice to have other children around the apartment. Hayden’s friends and classmates played around and the nannies were all huddled in one corner as they watched the children. Some of them even played with Jack.
You were with the parents and you couldn’t find Arvin. It was time for Hayden to blow the candles and you wanted you and Arvin to be there beside him. You looked for him everywhere and you forgot to check his home office. ‘He’s most likely in there.’ You told yourself.
Without knocking, you walked in and gasped when you saw the sight in front of you. The back of Arvin’s chair was facing you, but you didn’t need the chair to fully face you to know what they’re doing. A young woman, in her early 20s, was sitting on Arvin’s lap and you could see her bouncing up and down. Arvin wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was enjoying it. You quickly left and closed the door.
You knew he was cheating on you, but seeing him in action made it so real. You told yourself that you weren’t going to cry, but the tears you held back were freely streaming down your face. You quickly wiped them away and Celeste saw you.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” She asked. She was worried about you. You faked a smile and nodded, “Yeah, I’m alright. I just can’t believe that Hayden is 7 already! Time flies by so fast.”
Celeste nodded and smiled, “Okay. Hayden wants to blow his cake now.”
“Okay. Tell him to get ready.” You told her and she nodded, quickly leaving you alone. You glanced at the door of Arvin’s office and debated on calling Arvin’s attention or not. You decided that you weren’t going to call for him. If he cared about the little family you made, he would have the decency to not cheat on you on your son’s birthday. With that in mind, you held your head high and walked to the kitchen where everyone was waiting. Hayden was sitting on the bar stool while his cake was placed in front of him, on top of the countertop.
You smiled brightly at him and stood next to him. You kissed his cheek and gave him a side hug. “Where’s daddy?” Hayden asked you, looking up at you with innocent eyes.
“He’s busy cheating on mommy, sweetheart.” You wanted to say so bad, but you held back. It wasn’t nice to bring personal problems to parties. Especially your 7-year-old son’s party.
“He’s answering an important call for work, buddy. He’ll catch up later.” You lied. Hayden frowned, but his mood changed when everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ while some took pictures of you two. Celeste lit the candle that was shaped like the number 7. After the song, Hayden closed his eyes and made a wish before blowing his candle. Everyone clapped and you gave everyone a slice of cake.
When everyone was eating, Arvin finally walked out of his office with the young woman with him. He gave her $100 and whispered, “This is for not telling anyone and for spending time with me.” He winked at her and she blushed before quickly walking off to the kid she was watching.
Unbeknownst to them, Celeste saw the whole thing. She looked at you, Hayden, and Arvin and she looked torn. She wanted to tell you, but she was scared of Arvin. She thought that he was sketchy and she didn’t fully trust him. If she doesn't tell you, she’ll feel bad. So she quickly went to her room, called her sister and sat on her bed.
Toni, her sister, answered, “Oh, bakit ka napatawag? (Why did you call?)”
“May chika ako! Tangina, ‘di ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. (I have tea! Fuck, I don’t know what to do.)” Celeste said. She was panicking in her room and she truly didn’t know what to do.
“Ano ‘yon? (What is it?)” Toni asked.
“‘Di ako sigurado pero parang nambababae itong tatay ng alaga ko. Sabihin ko kaya sa asawa niya? (I’m not sure, but I think the dad of the kid I’m taking care of is cheating on his wife. What if I tell his wife?)” Celeste bit her nails nervously. Toni was quiet and said, “Ikaw bahala. Kung sa tingin mong kakainin ka ng konsensya mo, sabihin mo na. Kung kaya mong magkunwari na wala kang alam, edi ‘wag mo sabihin. (It’s up to you. If you think that your conscience will eat you alive, tell her. If you can pretend that you don’t know anything, then don’t say anything.)”
“Kung ikaw nasa pwesto ko, ano gagawin mo? (If you were in my place, what would you do?)”
“Wala. Kunwari wala akong alam. Saka ko na lang sasabihin pag tinanong ako. (Nothing. I’ll pretend that I don’t know anything. I’ll just tell her if she asks me.)” Toni answered.
“Sige. Chat nalang kita mamaya. Kailangan na ako sa labas. (Okay. I’ll chat with you later. I think they need me outside.)”
“Okay, bye!” Toni said before hanging up. Celeste took a deep breath and walked out of her room.
Some people were already leaving and Celeste immediately grabbed a big garbage bag to pick up the paper plates and paper cups that were left behind.
“Where have you been?” You asked Celeste sweetly. She jumped at the sound of your voice which was weird because she wasn’t jumpy.
“I-I went to my room to talk to my sister.” Celeste said. It was true, but she didn’t tell you why. You nodded and said, “Send her my regards.”
Celeste nodded and proceeded to clean up. You walked away and thanked your guests for coming to Hayden’s party. You’ve been avoiding Arvin for hours now and it was like he wanted to talk to you alone. You didn’t want to.
When everything was clean, it was already time for Hayden’s nighttime yoga routine. He quickly went to his room and started getting dressed in his yoga outfit. Celeste went to her room to grab her books, so that she could read while Hayden did his yoga. Jack went with them and Celeste was more than happy to know that the dog was joining them.
It was only you and Arvin in the living room. The tension was thick. You closed the door after the last guest left and Arvin started talking, “Why didn’t you call me when Hayden blew out his candle?”
“Was I supposed to?” You snapped and gave him a death glare which he seemed to return.
“Of course you were supposed to! I’m his dad and I should be there for him!”
“Why weren’t you present for most of the day, then? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I needed help with Hayden’s gifts? When I needed someone to give drinks to the adults, where were you? You weren’t around, Arvin. You were busy with God knows what!” You raised your voice.
“What are you saying?!” Arvin shouted.
“I’m saying that you’re not there for me and you haven’t been for a long fucking time!” You shouted back. This started a screaming match between the two of you. You didn’t even notice how loud you were shouting.
Hayden stopped doing yoga and looked at Celeste, “What’s going on?” Celeste looked at Hayden while listening closely. She sighed and told him, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
Celeste walked out of Hayden’s room not knowing that Hayden followed her out. She only realized that Hayden followed her when she heard Hayden shout, “Stop fighting!”
You and Arvin stopped to turn your heads to Hayden who was already crying at the sight of his angry parents. The sight of Hayden crying made you cry too. You walked towards him, but he ran away to hide in his room. He locked the door and Celeste was just standing there awkwardly.
You wiped away your tears and to your surprise, Celeste spoke up. “Ma’am, sir, um, please don’t fight anymore because Hayden will not like it. If you can’t stop fighting each other, do it for Hayden.” Celeste said softly as she looked at both of you.
“Hayden is a very nice kid and he’s very smart and he’s very obedient. He does everything you tell him to do even if he doesn’t like it because he knows that it will make you happy. He doesn’t deserve to have parents that are fighting all the time and he doesn’t deserve a family that has problems. If you have problems, just talk about it. Don’t yell.” Celeste told both of you. She was trying to be a peacemaker and both of you commended her for it. It wasn’t her job to be a peacemaker, but she’s being one right now.
“Sir, I saw you a while ago at the party with a girl and you gave her money. Being unfaithful is not nice. You should be faithful to your wife because she’s doing her best. If you don’t love her anymore, why are you here?” Celeste said. You knew she didn’t mean anything wrong, but Arvin took it the wrong way.
“Excuse me?” Arvin asked, offended. “I’m offended that you had to ask me why I’m here. I’m here because I live here. It’s my money, it’s my apartment, and everything here is from me! So don’t ask me why I’m-”
“She’s right, Arvin.” You said and turned to look at him. “I’m tired of all this fighting and all this pretending. From now on, I’ll sleep in Hayden’s room. If you enjoy sleeping with different women, you’re surely going to enjoy sleeping alone.” You snapped before leaving the living room to go to the bathroom to wash up.
Arvin glared at Celeste angrily and she said, “Sir, I understand if you fire me. It’s fine. I’m sorry for disrespecting you in your house. But before you fire me, think about what I said, sir. Also, think about your son. You can’t take care of him because of your job and your wife can’t take care of him because she’s busy with different things. If you fire me, no one else will look out for Hayden. Thank you for listening, sir.”
Celeste looked down and went to Hayden’s room in hopes that she could coax him into unlocking the door and letting her in.
Arvin sighed in distress and rubbed his face with his hands before going to the master’s bedroom and slamming the door.
-
Arvin didn’t know what happened. All he remembered was going to an event that was attended by his mob allies when all of a sudden, his rival mob attacked them all. A lot of shooting happened and he was sure that his mob friends were killed. He hoped they weren’t.
People were screaming and he heard someone crying at some point. His people were scattered everywhere and he didn’t know if they were alright. He didn’t get out scott-free, though. He got shot on his side and he was shooting his rivals all while trying to get out of the venue to get in the car and go back to his mansion.
When he arrived, Amelia was already on her feet and doing her tasks. She was the only doctor, but she pushed through and it amazed Arvin how Amelia could help them. He admired her and thought that she was strong. Her job isn’t easy, after all.
A few hours of taking out bullets from bodies and declaring one person dead on arrival, Amelia was finally finished with her job. She was in Arvin’s office to get her paycheck while Arvin wrote her salary on a check.
“$20,000” Arvin wrote before handing it to her with a tight-lipped smile. Amelia took the check gratefully.
“Thank you, Mr. Russell.” Amelia smiled before grabbing her bag and leaving. Arvin sighed and leaned back on his chair. He hasn’t been home for a while and Hayden didn’t want to speak with him whenever he called you to talk to Hayden. It broke his heart.
He put a hand on his gun wound and closed his eyes to rest for a while to think about his life. He never really thought that his life would turn out like this, but he knew that someday he’d have to take over the mob. When he took over, that’s when he met you.
In truth, he didn’t know how or what to feel when it comes to you. He’s confused. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing which made him groan. He opened his eyes, grabbed his phone, and answered it without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Hello, Russell.” His rival, George, said. Arvin could almost imagine the smug look on George’s face. Arvin gripped his phone tighter, “What do you want? You killed one of my men. Isn’t that enough?”
“Quite frankly, no. I would send my condolences to the deceased family, but I don’t really give a shit. Besides, it would teach you a lesson from stealing from me!”
“For the last time, I didn’t steal from you!” Arvin shouted.
“Your men joined my mob and stole from me!”
“It’s not stealing if they’re getting what’s rightfully ours.” Arvin hissed. “If anything, you stole from me!”
George scoffed, “If you really think that way, fine. Just know that you’ll pay for it.”
“I’m not paying for anything, George.” Arvin chuckled bitterly before pouring himself some scotch with one hand.
“Not even for your family?” George asked. “Wow, that shit’s cold.”
“What’re you talking about?” Arvin asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.
“Oh, you’re not informed?” George said sarcastically. “Your wife and son are here with me. If you don’t give me back what you stole from me, I’ll kill them. You know where to find me, Russell.”
George hung up and Arvin yelled in frustration. He sat up and winced because of his wound. He ran a hand through his hair and thought about how he’ll save you and Hayden. Him and his men talked about plans and when they were able to finalize, they wasted no time in going to George’s place.
The plan was going to George and giving him a duffel bag filled with rocks, so that he’ll think it’s the thing he was looking for; the thing he claimed Arvin’s men stole. Arvin decided that it’d be best for his men to ‘give it back’ to George while he and a few guys would look for you and Hayden.
Arvin heard George shouting about everything being fake and he heard gunshots. In a span of a few hours, his mob was shooting people again. He heard Hayden’s familiar cries and followed it while being covered by Javier, one of his men.
When Arvin found the room where George kept you and Hayden, he gasped when he saw you lying in your own blood, unconscious next to a weeping Hayden.
“Daddy!” Hayden cried and it made Arvin’s heart break. He had so many questions running through his mind. How long have you been unconscious? Why are you unconscious? Did they hurt both of you? Where’s Celeste?
Arvin quickly untied Hayden and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around him. “It’s okay, buddy. Everything’ll be okay.” Arvin whispered and kissed the top of Hayden’s head. He lets go of Hayden and knelt beside your body. He untied you and panicked when he saw multiple gun wounds on you. He knew that if you stayed longer, you’d die.
Arvin turned to Hayden and said, “Listen to me, okay? Take care of mommy and don’t go anywhere. Got it?”
Hayden nodded and wiped his tears. “Are you coming back?”
“Of course, I’m coming back.” Arvin reassured him. He stood up and quickly left the room and shot every person from his rival mob. When he saw George, all Arvin saw was red and started beating the shit out of his rival.
George didn’t get a chance to defend himself because Arvin just kept throwing punches and hits. Arvin wanted George dead for bringing his family into their problems. Arvin didn’t care about George’s bloody and bruised state. Arvin pushed George to the ground and whipped out his gun.
“This is for my family.” Arvin panted. He looked at George in the eye and shot his head mercilessly. He looked at his surroundings and saw that almost everyone in George’s mob was dead and the few that were alive, are either unconscious or terribly bruised.
Arvin ran back to the room and picked up Hayden. “I told you I’d be back.” He said as Hayden rested his head on the crook of Arvin’s neck.
Arvin ordered one of his men to carry you and immediately drove to the mansion. Arvin called Amelia and said that he needed her ASAP.
“Mr. Russell, it’s late and it’s not my schedule.” Amelia said groggily. She was already deeply sleeping and Arvin disturbed her greatly.
“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I need you ASAP, Amelia. It’s my wife this time.” Arvin said frantically. They arrived at the mansion and rushed you to the medical room where Amelia was hours before.
Hayden was asleep in Arvin’s arms and he went to his room to let Hayden sleep there comfortably. He hears shuffling around on Amelia’s end as he did his best to tuck Hayden in.
“I’m on my way.” Amelia said.
“Okay, please hurry.” Arvin pleaded before hanging up. He looked at Hayden and smiled a bit at the sight of his son fast asleep. He quietly left the room and rushed to the medical room where you were being kept. He wasn’t a doctor and he didn’t know what to do. Time was running out and for the first time in years, he finally saw you.
He finally realized how important you are in his life. He finally realized that it would hurt him deeply if you were gone. He couldn’t imagine going on with life without you by his side. He didn’t notice Amelia walking in the medical room and he only acknowledged her presence when he was being escorted out of the room by her.
“Wait, no! I want to say, Am-”
“You know you can’t.” Amelia said sternly. “It’s protocol. You can’t be here. Just wait outside.” Amelia pushed the mobster out the room and locked it. The whole time he waited, Arvin was pacing back and forth. He was restless. Who wouldn’t be? If your spouse is undergoing a procedure, you’d want to know about them, right? Arvin had no clue how you were doing.
Three hours later, the door opened and Amelia stepped out of the room. She was clearly tired. Arvin stopped pacing and stared at Amelia who only said, “She’s okay.”
“Thank you.” Arvin sighed in relief as he walked towards the room.
“You don’t need to pay me. Consider it a freebie. I know what it’s like to grow up without a mom at a young age and I don’t want that to happen to Hayden. Take care, sir.” Amelia smiled softly before leaving.
Arvin went into the room and pulled up a chair to sit next to your bed. He held your hand and stared at you. It’s been a long time since he’s seen your face. You were beautiful. You always have been and always will. Seeing you unconscious scared him greatly and it made him realize how much he still loves and cares about you.
“Y/N, I’m sorry this happened to you. I mean it.” Arvin said softly. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me almost losing you to realize that. You don’t know how sorry I am, sweetheart.”
“I can’t imagine the pain you must have felt when Celeste came clean about seeing me and some other girl on Hayden’s birthday. But I know you, Y/N. I know that you’ve always had a feeling that I was unfaithful and I can’t imagine your heartbreak when you found out about it being true.”
“When we first got together, I promised I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry for breaking that promise. I’ll be better for you, Y/N. I’ll come home and I’ll stay with you whenever you need me. I’ll be present for Hayden and I don’t want to argue with you anymore. I want us to go back to normal and I know it’ll be hard for you, but I’m willing to try.” Arvin said with hope in his eyes.
“I also know that you’re awake and that you can hear me clearly.” He added as he looked at you. You slowly opened your eyes and looked at him, “I hate that you know me well.”
“I actually love it. It makes me feel like I’m still in touch with you. Lord knows I’d be heartbroken if I can’t read you anymore.” He chuckled lightly before pressing a light kiss on your hand.
“Did you mean what you said? Trying again?” You asked and he nodded. “Then, I’ll try too.”
Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen.
However, some relationships work out and your marriage turns into something better than before. It happened to you and Arvin. He kept his promises and soon, you were blessed with a second child. Celeste was alright and you treated her like a sister you never had. In return for sending her to college, she did well in her studies and made sure to show you her grades which made you proud.
Everything was coming together and you were thankful that things took a nice turn. Your life as a mobster's wife wasn’t so bad, after all.
* * * *
𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @cocoamoonmalfoy @parkerpeter24 @slutforsr @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @quxxnxfhxll @bora-world @supred12 @more-like-reyna
𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz
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Let’s Talk About Norman
I’m going to start off by telling you all something you probably already know: Norman is abusive. I try not to use super strong language on this blog because calling someone abusive / toxic is a pretty big deal, but Norman is an abuser, full stop. Aside from the obvious physical violence though, there’s a lot of emotional trauma he causes Ruby through his actions— this post is mostly going to be talking about Norman’s emotional abuse and how it affects Ruby’s psyche and actions throughout the arc instead of just “oh he punched his son down some stairs” because I think it goes way deeper than that. With that out of the way, the rest of the post is below the cut!
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE
I can’t talk about Ruby and Norman without mentioning this— it’s the most clear cut evidence of his abuse on-panel. He punches his son down the stairs, engages in a high stakes fight with him, and puts him in mortal danger (which Ruby has to save himself from). What I’m concerned with isn’t the actual incidence of violence itself, but rather the emotional baggage that comes with it.
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The interesting thing about the Big Fight scene to me is that Norman instigates the conflict. Norman lures Ruby into a “dark and scary building” in the rain and away from others, appears behind him, threatens him, and throws him against a wall. The only thing Ruby had done in that moment is ask his dad how / why he had found him— Norman was the instigator of violence. It is Ruby’s reaction to this immediately violent start that segues into the next Big Thing about their relationship.
ENVIRONMENT OF FEAR
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It is obvious from the minute Norman appears on panel that he is intimidating. Multiple characters throughout the arc mention that they are scared of / intimidated by him, but none are more obvious than Ruby. In fact until we reach the scene at the Weather Institute, Norman hasn’t been shown in a positive light at all from Ruby’s perspective. Ruby continuously mentions fear about his father: he imagines his father grabbing him, looking angrily at him, and generally seems to be afraid of him. Ruby expresses worry and concern about the consequences of his father’s anger— and that’s ALL he thinks about. Ruby mentions explicitly that he has seen “Norman’s Dark Side” and tries to hide as soon as he appears. He even shivers at the mere mention of Norman. Ruby’s entire motivation is his fear of his dad, which is bad, obviously. 
Every thought about Norman that Ruby has up until the Weather Institute about Norman express fear and stress Norman’s emotional distance. Whether or not Ruby and Norman love each other is not of importance here, what is important is that Ruby has constant worry and anxiety about how Norman will react. His entire motivation at the beginning of the arc is centered around doing things behind Norman’s back and giving him definitive proof of Ruby’s accomplishments— Ruby is so nervous around Norman that he considers communicating to be a risk. This is typical abuse victim behavior and it continues through the arcs. Living under the constant threat of (often violent) punishment has taught Ruby that disagreements and communication in general are dangerous and can spiral into violence very, very quickly— he displays this same fear time and time again.
Quick Aside: As everyone here probably knows, the main conflict in the oras arc is centered around Ruby’s unwillingness to tell Sapphire what is going on for fear of how she will react. Ruby’s hiding of his memory of their confession in the Emerald arc is the same— Ruby refuses to communicate because he is afraid of how Sapphire will react. His main emotional flaw is the fact that he is driven by fear; Norman has shown him there are consequences to communication and Ruby carries this lesson throughout his entire life. He is a victim of abuse and this hampers his ability to communicate and be emotionally vulnerable. He is so caught up in the idea of consequences that he is more than willing to lie or omit the truth to avoid the consequences of talking to people about stressful topics. This is not to say that Ruby’s actions are excusable— he’s still a dick with communication issues, but whether or not Kusaka intended it, Norman’s abuse and its consequences define Ruby’s emotional arc.
ANGER ISSUES
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I can’t really talk about the environment of fear that Norman created without talking about his anger issues. He crushes a phone, shoves people out of the way, knocks multiple Pokemon out at once, and otherwise acts aggressively in various situations throughout the arc without any real Reason. As if these hints weren’t enough, we actually get confirmation through Ruby’s mother that Norman “does this often”— and judging by Birch’s reaction, these displays of destructive anger aren’t normal in in-universe. Whether or not there is a violent / strict parenting style within the universe doesn’t matter, because Norman is shown to be uncharacteristically aggressive in comparison to other adults in the series. Judging by Ruby’s reaction at the Weather Institute, he implies that his type of violence towards him isn’t uncommon; he seems almost resigned to it.
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To wrap up this section: Norman’s aggressiveness is atypical even in-universe, he is shown to be unable and unwilling to curb his violent anger, and this creates an environment of fear among his family that permanently impacts Ruby’s ability to communicate effectively with others.
PART 2
DISCLAIMER: This is where things get… dicey. Everything I’ve mentioned previously is rooted in the actual drawings and actions of the characters or overarching themes / problems. This next part however focuses on dialogue. It is almost impossible to truly understand the tone of each line without being a fluent Japanese speaker (which I am not) so instead I’m going to use Viz and CY to the best of my ability for this section. I’m not going to extrapolate this to Kusaka’s intentions, since without the original work that’s nearly impossible, but I can at least talk about the way these come off in English.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Admittedly, Viz is the worst about this. They constantly hype Norman up and excuse his behavior, outright censoring some of the physical and emotional abuse. Viz absolutely mangling the tone of RS, however, is a post for another time.
Because Norman actually speaks to Ruby at length a grand total of twice times in the RS arc, we can break down his actions into these two instances: the first is at the weather institute and the second is as he’s dying.
Rather than go based on overall theme, this scene is best done line by line (this is using the CY version due to limited censorship compared to Viz). 
Scene 1: Volume 17, Chapters 208-210
(Norman is dangling Ruby off the roof of a building by his collar. There are sharp rocks at the bottom)
Ruby: Re… release me…! Norman: Insolent brat!! Is that how you talk to your father?!
To start, Norman uses tone policing and deflection. He focuses on the fact that Ruby is “talking back” to him and making demands of his father, which doesn’t acknowledge Ruby’s request or the fact that Ruby is being dangling over the roof of a building. Also note that this is the first time the words are bolded and that they stay this way throughout the fight— Norman verbally escalates the fight. Norman is abusing his position of power over Ruby in order to excuse his actions and pass the blame back to his son.
Ruby: I don’t care how furious you are with me… I’m ready for it!
(Norman decks Ruby down a flight of stairs)
Norman: Why did you run away from home?!
Note once again that Norman is implied to start raising his voice first even when Ruby isn’t. There’s another deflection here: Norman changes the subject rather than actively respond to anything Ruby says.
Norman: Well? Say something! You’d better voice your complaints right now!!
(Ruby has a conversation with the Swimmer, who advises him to apologize to avoid his father’s rage and “just go home” which… fuck you Swimmer Jack. I’m skipping that part of the dialogue bc it isn’t that important).
(While Ruby is debating what to do, Norman’s Slaking lifts the stairs that Ruby is on and tries to fling him into next Tuesday).
Ruby is physically prevented from escaping by being dangled above Norman. I shouldn’t have to tell why physically preventing someone from leaving an argument is a bad thing.
(Ruby decides to fight Norman)
Note that Norman is physically and emotionally forcing Ruby into two possible options: Fight or be obedient. He is preventing Ruby from running and deflecting Ruby’s attempts to explain himself. He then shifts the blame to Ruby *again*, attacking Ruby and his pokemon with full force and implying it was Ruby who instigated the conflict in the first place.
Norman: … so you wish to fight me? … Iron Tail and Hyper Beam… I was the one who taught you those attacks. There’s nothing about your attacks and strategies I don’t know about. You’re just wasting your time! Give up!
Here, Norman does two things: he stresses Ruby’s dependence on him and his power over Ruby. It’s a typical “your success is dependent on me” and a “there is no option except obedience” rhetoric, and is likewise typical of abusers. Norman is stressing the things Norman has gifted to Ruby (battling knowledge) and using whatever he can to force Ruby to do what he wants— he’s exerting his control.
(Ruby turns the tide of the battle, so Norman likewise switches tactics by attacking Ruby himself and attempting to hit him with a staircase. Ruby falls down the stairs and is dangling over a pit of spikes when Norman stands on the edge, blocking Ruby’s only escape route).
Norman: Now will you come quietly? Stop being so stubborn
Not only is Norman forcing his son to choose between obedience and Literal Death, he also shifts the blame again. He excuses his own actions by claiming it is Ruby’s stubbornness that forced him into this position. He deflects the whole “putting my 11 year old in harm’s way” by claiming Ruby’s own resistance to Norman’s violence is the trigger for the violence itself. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s victim-blaming nonetheless and sadly, it works
(Flashback time: Norman admits he was going to give Ruby permission to participate in contests and gets emo about it. They fall, but Norman catches Ruby. This doesn’t matter though, because they both end up falling and Ruby uses his running shoes to save them both).
Ruby: (thinking) Ru- running shoes… my birthday present from dad… saved both… our lives
Ruby displays pretty typical abuse victim behavior here, focusing not on Norman’s 3 threats to literally kill him but instead on the One Good Thing Norman did. He doesn’t mention that it was Ruby himself who saved them both or that Norman was the one who put them in danger in the first place— he’s in total denial about the severity of everything that happened.
(At this point, Norman looms above Ruby with an angry expression and a raised pokeball. Bystanders panic because it appears that Norman is going to attack Ruby who, by the way, is unconscious on the ground, but Norman gets a surprise call from Winona and turns away after realizing that Winona can see him).
“I only stopped attacking my son when I realized people were watching”… alright fuck off then Norman
Norman: HEY!! Idiot son! You disobeyed your parents, then you ran away from home. I’ve had enough! Just do what you want! In return, you’d better accomplish your goals!! A man should complete what he has set out to do… … before he can return home!!
Hoo boy. Norman never apologizes, deflects all the blame onto Ruby, insults him twice, and then tries to save face with Winona and the people around him by giving Ruby permission to do contests— which he was apparently planning to do all along. He emphasizes the things Ruby did in response to Norman’s actions (Ruby ran away from home because he knew his dad would be unsupportive and gets violent during disagreements, so in essence Norman is to blame for backing him into a corner). Norman twists the narrative in order to make Ruby the instigator in every case, justifying Norman’s responses as reactions to Ruby’s problematic behavior
Swimmer Jack: Isn’t that a wonderful father? Ruby: Thank you… father.
Ok first of all Jack is a dumbass, so jot that down. Second of all, while it’s unintentional, Ruby is being gaslit to hell and back. It is only after Norman’s omission of all the abusive behavior and bystanders’ affirmation of Norman’s love that Ruby starts to think positively towards his father. The threat Ruby used to think was so large has been downplayed and outright denied by the people around him, so Ruby’s prior fear of Norman diminishes. Ruby’s fear of Norman and the violence Norman took against him is denied, downplayed, and ignored, so Ruby begins to doubt his own animosity towards his father. Thanks Swimmer Jack you unintentionally gaslit an 11 year old.
SCENE 2: (this one is much shorter, thank god)
(Norman, while he is dying, explains the whole deal with how he was ordered to search for Rayquaza yada yada. Throughout the exchange, Ruby gets increasingly upset).
Ruby: (thinking) barred from the test and forced to search for Rayquaza… It must be some kind of punishment! What could Dad have done to warrant such… why was he made responsible… ?!
Ruby: … … but… come to think of it, dad is not someone who makes mistakes easily… something’s not right!
Slight aside, Ruby has been so convinced of his father’s power by others that he is unwilling to even CONSIDER that his dad fucked up, which… wow!
Ruby: That day… Dad must have taken the rap for someone else… and… (flashbacks to Salamence Incident) that person… was….
Ruby: (out loud) … me?! That person who set Rayquaza free… was it me…?!
Norman: Yes.
And then he dies!
(Technically he says “oh I did all that out of love” (paraphrased) and then dies but it’s just a continuation of the previous thing).
Norman, before dying, does not say “I’m proud of you” or “I’m sorry for everything” or anything remotely comforting, instead he says “hey Ruby, you’re responsible for my death and all your childhood trauma alongside your friend’s. Peace.” (this is paraphrased).
Even on his actual deathbed, Norman places the blame on Ruby for Norman’s own actions. He makes Ruby feel guilty for Norman leaving, Norman hiding information from him, and Ruby’s tumultuous childhood.
CONCLUSION
None of this is to say that Norman doesn’t love Ruby or that Ruby doesn’t love him back— I’m fairly positive the two of them love each other dearly and want the best for each other. However, Norman is a child abuser who reacts violently, instigates violence, and then turns around and denies said violence. He creates a culture of fear among his family, gives Ruby some serious communication issues, and the narrative takes his side. Norman is a child abuser in canon and has a very VERY profound effect on Ruby which has emotional ramifications throughout Ruby’s entire character arc all the way until oras.
TLDR: Normans sucks man
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bbugyu · 4 years
Note
hi can i request a wonwoo friends to lovers!!
abso-fuckin-tutely! since you were a lil vague, i asked my friendly neighborhood wonwoorideul for a prompt and she shouted out the song nothing by bruno major (aka one of the sweetest songs on wonwoo's spotify playlist)!
nothing + jeon wonwoo
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moving in with your best friend was the best idea you ever had, even if he claimed it was his.
wc.3707 | fluff, angst, roommates/friends to lovers au, gn reader, like one swear and it barely counts bc it was hoshi, slowburn pining, wonwoo sees you and his mind is full of poetry, happy ending! (jp ver.)
thank you so much for my very first request! i tried to post this quickly, so i’m sorry if it’s not as polished as my other pieces. i was so impatient to get this out hahah. i love me some domestic wonwoo
*
wonwoo wasn't just your roommate, to be perfectly frank. the lanky guy had wormed his way into your close circle when you had worked part time together at a grocery store fresh out of high school, and when you both decided you needed to be closer to the big city, it just made sense to go together. you had never lived alone before, and your mother had said she would feel better if you had someone she knew around, someone to take care of you for her, even though you insisted you would be fine. she tried to get you to move in with your auntie, and while eating her food would be a definite plus, you absolutely despised the idea of living under the same roof as your chaotic cousin. so, when wonwoo mentioned wanting to get out of your podunk village, you excitedly told him you wanted to move to seoul.
"okay," he had said, looking at you over his comic book as he lounged on your family's couch. "let's go, then."
two months later, his dad was helping the two of you move into a tiny two bedroom apartment in a neighborhood of seoul that housed mostly old married couples, but you liked that it was a little more quiet than downtown. it felt more like home, but busy enough to give you your fill of the city. you could walk down the street to a cafe every morning on your way to the station, headed to your shitty temp desk job that you had just to pay bills. wonwoo was able to transfer to the main seoul office of his existing job as a software engineer, and was even able to work from home most days. you were forever jealous that he could hop onto remote meetings wearing a tie and button up over a pair of sweats. on days that he had to go into the office, though, he would walk with you and point out shops that you had yet to visit in your few months of living in the city.
"since when are you a flowers kinda guy?" you asked, gaze following his finger to the florist shop he pointed out.
he shrugged, adjusting his backpack straps over the blazer he wore. "might be nice for the apartment."
you eyed him. despite knowing him for years, sometimes he still surprised you.
on days that he didn't ride the subway with you, you would come home to find him sitting on the couch, swinging around a digital new york city from a web on the tv. you noticed the potted plant on the kitchen counter when you dropped your keys off in their designated tray. they were red, with tight round petals. you thought they almost looked like roses, but you knew that wasn't right. peonies? begonias? you didn't know enough about flowers to recognize them, but you figured he went to the florist in your neighborhood while you were at work.
he paused his game after landing on a roof somewhere. "how was your day?"
"good," you said, pulling off your light jacket and standing by the couch. "what's with the flowers?"
wonwoo looked around you to the yellow ceramic and red blooms, both colors that suited the other few colorful items in your minimalistic (mostly from having only lived there a few short months) white kitchen. "camellias. i thought they looked nice."
you nodded, thinking that he had more to say, but decided not to press. "have you eaten?"
he stretched on the couch, hands falling to the back of his beanie clad head as he let out a strangled noise. "do i ever eat without you?"
that made you smile. "any thoughts on dinner?"
wonwoo shook his head, settling back into the couch. "what do you feel like?"
"i'm craving pizza."
wonwoo pushed his glasses up his nose and adjusted to fish his phone out of the pocket of his favorite track pants. "go take a shower, i'll order."
you grinned. "you are such a good roommate."
"correction, i'm the best roommate. oh, also," he pointed towards the fridge in the kitchen. "soonyoung came by with side dishes from your aunt."
"oh, thank god," you said, walking over to wash your hands quickly and check the haul. "i was worried we were gonna have to buy kimchi this week. he wasn't annoying, was he?"
wonwoo shook his head, chuckling at the way you talked about your cousin as he tapped through menus on his phone. "he was fine. complained that you weren't here."
"doesn't he have a job?" you opened a plastic container and popped a sweet braised potato into your mouth. your voice was muffled as you chewed. "he knows i get off at five. if he wants to see me he should come when he knows i'll be home."
the small smile on wonwoo's face never left as you rambled about soonyoung, then your fantastic chef of an aunt, and then the new guy that sat at the desk next to you that microwaved fish for lunch. seriously, who microwaves fish? in an office?
wonwoo commiserated with you, then told you to hurry and go wash up, because he had just submitted the pizza order, to which you responded "okay, okay, i'm going. i'll be back in a minute."
after a steam filled shower, you left the bathroom while toweling your damp hair, sporting a plain black v-neck with your, similar to wonwoo's, favorite track pants.
wonwoo looked up and laughed, tugging on the hem of his shirt. "we match."
you eyed one of the several black muscle tanks wonwoo sports regularly and giggled, pulling at the stripes down your pants. "we do. you want wine?"
"hell yeah. friday night, baby."
you laughed, returning to the bathroom to hang your towel before making your way to the kitchen, pulling a couple of stemless wine glasses out of your cabinet. they were the only glasses in the apartment because, as wonwoo had said, your priorities are notoriously bad. but, you reminded him, they worked just fine with water too, so you convinced him that buying real glasses could wait until you were both slightly less busy. you grabbed the bottle of red wine off the counter and looked at the seal. "wonwoo."
"yeah?" he paused his game and looked at you over the small kitchen cart that acted as an island. you held up the wine.
"new bottle."
he sighed dramatically. "what would you do without me?"
you grinned happily as you got the wine opener out of a drawer, holding it out for him. he snatched the bottle and opener from your hands and made a face, but began twisting the corkscrew into the cork nonetheless. you planted your elbow on the wood topped cart and watched him as he tugged out the cork, decidedly ignoring the fact that he was wearing a sleeveless shirt and he definitely looked like he had taken a trip to the gym today. 
"you pour, i always miss."
you laughed, pulling at the shrapnel of the seal that wonwoo always refused to cut away before removing the cork. "maybe if you didn't make the neck such a mess it wouldn't go everywhere when we pour it."
"unnecessary step," he retorted, watching you as you poured the wine into the two glasses. he took the one closest to him as you finished. "cheers."
"cheers," you repeated, clinking your glass against his and taking a gulp. you let out a noise of approval. "happy friday."
wonwoo was smiling as he took a sip. "happy friday."
"where's the pizza?"
"uh," he patted his empty pockets, then put down his wine glass to retrieve his phone from the couch. "down the street."
wonwoo had to shove his feet into a pair of slides to meet the delivery person at the entrance of your building, and when he returned, you were giggling into your glass at your sns feed. the wine hit maybe a little too hard, but you hadn't eaten in too long for you to have almost polished off a glass already.
wonwoo gestured for you to join him on the couch, so you grabbed the bottle of wine and tucked it under your arm, carrying the two glasses over to where he was shutting off his game.
you ate merrily, and then you talked. about nothing and everything all at the same time. this happened more often than you ever thought it would, but a week into living in the city, wonwoo had come home from hanging out with some old friends to you crying on the couch with a show on that was far too comical to be the source of your tears. that night, he stayed up with you until the sun was peeking up over the buildings, listening to your worries and struggles. he shared his own fears. you were a blubbering mess. he kept sniffling his nose, acting like the tears welling up in his eyes weren't there when you laughed, despite yourself. wonwoo and you had always been close, or as close as past coworkers that had the same friend circle could be, but this was different. you couldn't remember the last time you had cried like that in front of anyone, much less someone who wasn't your mother.
when you woke up on the couch past noon, your sunday to a late start, your arms were wrapped around wonwoo's torso as he slept, one hand tucked behind his head and the other on your back. his face was inches from yours. your cheeks were pink and you suddenly felt hot, trying as gently as you could to escape without waking him. he stirred, but only to readjust as you snuck away.
he said nothing about the cuddling when he woke to the sound of you closing the front door, and you smiled as you held out the iced americano you got him at the cafe down the street. he squinted at you and scratched his head, taking the drink and sipping it before even testing his voice.
"thanks."
he looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. "what? you bought coffee. thank you."
you sat next to him and swirling the straw in your own drink. "no, i mean for staying up with me. sorry i was a mess."
there was a pause, and your heart almost stopped when he put an arm over your shoulder. "you weren't. and i'll stay up with you whenever you want."
wonwoo sipped at his drink again, giving you a light squeeze when a tear fell down your cheek.
living together meant you saw a side of him you had never seen before. the little things he did throughout his day, when he wasn't even particularly conscious that you were in the same room as him. he always bit at his thumb when he was working, and he had a habit of leaving the milk carton open in the fridge. he always made you smile when he emerged from his room with his headphones loud enough for you to hear them from across the room, and he cluelessly bobbed his head to whatever he was listening to while he refilled a water bottle, waving and smiling before he returned to his room. when your mom asked you how living with wonwoo was, you told her he was great. clean, respectful, and quiet. that you had never been closer. that he made you feel safer so far from home. you didn't, however, tell her that you discovered that he liked running home from the gym at 2 pm on the weekends, laying out on the floor with his shirt over his head before he convinced himself to take a shower.
you had always thought wonwoo was cute. how could you not? he was a handsome guy, but you had accepted your place as a friend to him and happily let it progress no further. but, now that you spent your afternoons off arguing with him on whether or not showering was even worth the trouble, you couldn't help but stare at him. watching his toned chest rise and fall as you thought about how he had admitted his crippling fear of failure to you at three in the morning when your face was puffier than a padded jacket.
you never noticed, but wonwoo watched you closer than he did anything in his life. that night, when he found you crying, he felt his heart clench as you told him all your insecurities. when he had pulled you into his chest and held you tight as you questioned whether moving so far from home was a mistake, he patted your hair and told you that it was going to be fine. you had him, afterall. he had you. the two of you could make it out here. and if you still wanted to go home when the lease was up in six months, he would be there to help you move back.
he didn't stop holding you until your breathing settled, your shoulders stopped shaking. he leaned back into the couch, bringing you with him, and you didn't protest when he ran his hand up and down your back, coaxing you to sleep.
since then, every time you spoke to him, he couldn't help but stare at you intently. he watched your eyes light up while you talked about something you loved. he watched you scrunch your nose as you talked about your new desk neighbor. he watched your lips push into a pout when he said he should go get some work done. he wondered if anyone else noticed the way you sucked on your teeth while you thought up a witty comeback, or the way you carded your fingers through your still wet hair. or the way your eyes creased into a laugh, your hand coming up to block your open mouth. or the way you chewed on your red wine stained lip while he tried to form a sentence in response, when all he wanted to do was put those lips on his.
wonwoo had been stewing with these feelings far longer than he thought bearable, but stuffed it down in fear that he might lose you altogether. he didn't want to lose you altogether. he had gone on a walk halfway through his workday at home, feeling antsy for no particular reason, though if he thought about it long enough he would have realised it was because you had said something about feeling lonely lately that morning. he saw the florist he had pointed out the week before, and his feet brought him through the door.
"hi!" he looked up from the colorful display by the door to the person behind the counter and smiled politely. "did you need help finding something?"
"um," wonwoo blinked and looked around for a moment, then moved towards the counter. "i need a gift, i think."
the florist's eyebrows quirked curiously. "you think?"
he nodded, eyes flicking down to the nametag on his chest. he wondered if he was a foreigner with his three character name, but didn't mention it. "yeah. housewarming. for my, uh-" wonwoo paused, catching himself not knowing how to describe his relationship to you. roommate? wannabe lover? he bit his cheek. "my friend."
joshua nodded slowly, watching wonwoo's eyes as he worked his way through the sentence. "just friend?"
wonwoo stared at a flower arrangement to his right. "something like that."
"got it." joshua walked around the counter and gestured for wonwoo to follow him deeper into the store. "since it's a housewarming, how about a potted plant? something to brighten up the space for a long time. they'll think about you every time they see it."
wonwoo nodded, not saying anything about how funny he thought it was that he said he was getting his own roommate a housewarming gift. "that sounds nice."
"now, i'm not gonna claim to know you," the florist started, putting up his hands to exaggerate his words, they kept moving as he pushed and pulled pots, looking for one in particular. "you've said, like, maybe a full sentence to me, but those were some complex emotions when you called them a friend, so i'm gonna assume i know the situation. i think you should get camellias. specifically red ones."
wonwoo looked at the sunshine yellow pot in the soft featured man's hands. the petals of the flower were round and delicate, and he thought about how you said the color yellow made you happy. "why's that?"
"i think you should look up the meaning when you give them this," joshua said, and for some reason, wonwoo trusted him.
he came back to the apartment thinking about how he might have just gotten scammed into buying the potted flowers in his hands, only to find soonyoung about to hit the buzzer to call your unit, a far too large cooler bag sitting on the bench by the entrance of your building.
"is y/n around?" soonyoung asked, trailing behind wonwoo as they walked up the stairs, struggling slightly with the overpacked bag. "they didn't respond to my kakao."
"they're at work," he replied, flipping his keys over in his hands to find the one for your front door. "they'll be home around six."
"ah, shit," soonyoung laughed. "i always forget you guys have adult jobs. i would kill for a monday through friday."
wonwoo almost laughed, but left the smile on his face. "weekends are kind of overrated, anyways."
the shorter hoisted the bag of dishes onto the kitchen cart while wonwoo closed the door. "who're the flowers for?"
wonwoo stared at the pot in his arm as if it was the first time he had seen it. "oh, uh. just the place."
"for y/n?"
he looked at soonyoung, who had his chin in his palms, elbows planted on the counter as he smiled. he knew he was right when wonwoo didn't respond.
"i think they'll like them," he said, unzipping the top of the bag and starting to unload his mother's packaged dishes for his cousin. "they like the color yellow."
wonwoo just said "i know," before he opened the fridge and started rearranging things to fit the new food.
according to soonyoung, wonwoo was painfully obvious. when he had come by a couple weeks prior, you were arguing with him about some ridiculous childhood memory at your grandparents' home, and while soonyoung laughed, he noticed the smile on wonwoo's face when he watched you. he also noticed the way he instinctively put a hand on your back when you sighed about your newest temp gig, and soonyoung pulled on his ear as he looked at the ceiling, leaning against the kitchen cart much like he was today as he told wonwoo about how oblivious his cousin must be.
you pulled your knees to your chest as you sipped at your wine, the pizza box almost completely polished off by the two of you sitting on the floor in front of your couch. you stare at the pot of flowers.
"they're pretty," you said finally.
you too, wonwoo thought.
"camellias, right?" you turned back to him. "i like them."
i like you, wonwoo thought. "i went to that place down the street. the guy working was nice."
you nodded, sipping again. "any reason in particular?"
"i-" wonwoo paused, staring at his glass. he finished the last gulp in it and put it on the floor next to the pizza box. "you said something about being down recently," he said, folding his fingers together as he leaned back against the couch. "i wanted to get you something, i guess."
you watched his fingers as they pushed his glasses up his nose again, and your heart fluttered at the idea of wonwoo thinking about you when you weren't around. "really? that's so nice," you pouted, shoving his knee.
he laughed, pulling his knee onto the couch to face you. "the guy there - the florist, i guess? his name was joshua. he seemed to really know flowers." he knitted his brows together when he realized he was procrastinating on saying what he was nervous to. he put his arm on the back of the couch, rubbing his eye with the heel of his palm before continuing. "he said i should look up what they mean when i give them to you. red ones, specifically."
you perked up, heart racing. "what they mean? they have meaning?"
"y-yeah, i guess so," wonwoo said, then cleared his throat. 
"hey google!" you looked over to where the device sat by your tv. "what to red camellias mean?"
wonwoo stared at your profile as you watched the device think before its automated voice piped up.
"camellia flowers are available in white, pink, and red, with each color having its own unique symbolism."
you looked over to him, excitedly putting your glass to your lips as the voice continued.
"pink camellias symbolize a longing for someone, and is given to people who are missed."
wonwoo swallowed hard, fingers fidgeting against his temple.
"red camellias symbolize love, passion, and a deep desire."
your eyes widened slightly as the device shut off, glass still to your lips and eyes still on wonwoo's. he stared back at you, and you wondered if he meant it. but he never claimed that he didn't feel those things for you.
before you could think, you clumsily put your glass on the floor and moved. you didn't stop moving until your lips were on wonwoo's, pushing him back into the arm of the couch as you practically crawled into his lap.
his hands found your hips and he helped you settle into him, your fingers tracing his jawline as it worked against yours. you sighed into his lips as his hand slid up under your shirt, placed gently on the small of your back. pulling you into him. when you paused for a moment, you thought about waking up to this exact same view, that day after you had cried all night. but this time, his other hand pulled your jaw back to kiss him again, and you happily complied.
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twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years
Text
Written In The Stars CXXXIX (Harry Potter xF!Oc)
A/N: I’m scared to see how you guys will react to this one, hope you at least find it enjoyable despite my very self-indulgent plots -Danny 
P.S. Huge s/o to @bwbatta​ bc I decided to update my fic and now I have pretty dividers in all my books! Most of the ones I ended up using are her work so go check it out :)
Words: 4,641
Series’ Masterlist
Book V // Next Chapter
Listen to: ‘Need Your Love’ -by Joshua Wicker
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Chapter One: Dumbledore's Mission.
"A galleon says Erick will crash the car —"
"Shut up!"
"Don't make him nervous," Emily scolded Harry. "If you continue this I won't teach you how to drive!"
"We don't need to learn," Mel snorted. "We'll apparate everywhere..."
"I thought you hated it," Her mother raised a brow.
"Yeah, but she's lazy," Harry smirked.
"Why is Harry here? He's not allowed to leave the house, is he?" Mel frowned.
"He's not allowed to be alone outside, there's a difference. We're babysitting two infants, unfortunately..." Erick taunted.
"What's the matter, Flint? You have stage-fright?" Harry replied.
"Oh please, he feeds on attention! Like a dementor but in a more annoying way..."
"Enough!" Emily looked over her seat. "Is that the kind of things you want to teach your brother?"
"I doubt he'll remember any of this!"
"We know he can do it, Em, we're just teasing," Harry said blithely.
"Yeah, he's the only adult here apart from you, mum. It's kind of his obligation to be good at driving."
The baby let out a squeal of agreement, he was three weeks old but had a good set of lungs that he was happy to use at any given time, especially while everyone was sleeping.
Harry leaned and checked that the baby's blankets. Mel beamed at the sight, the boy had pretty much adopted the boy as his own brother, which she thought made a lot of sense, not only because it was Sirius' son, but because he'd been part of her family for so long that anything else would've been silly.
They were well aware that bringing little Regulus to their driving lessons was a bit risky, but Emily wasn't as keen to leave Mel and Harry alone in the house as she used to, so she put a few safety spells on the chair once the baby was seated while Harry and Mel sat on both sides of it.
Erick turned out to be a good driver, but he still had a bit of trouble understanding how cars worked.
"I have to be pulling and pushing stuff all the time!" He complained as he activated the windshield on accident for the third time. "Why can't I just turn the key and press the pedal?"
"Cars don't work like that," Emily said patiently. "It's complicated, but you're good!"
"He's only gone up and down the street for half an hour, Leggie fell asleep already," The girl huffed.
Emily looked over the seat once again, she was frowning. "Erick, switch seats with Mel."
"You're joking... right?"
"Erick," The woman repeated.
"On it," He said happily. "C'mon Mel, are you scared?"
Ten minutes later, Erick was in the backseat and she was tightly holding onto the wheel.
"I'm doing it!" She said. "Is not that hard, is it?"
"A slug could move faster," Harry was looking at the roof of the car and dying of heat. "I thought you were going to be more... the reckless type of driver."
"Me too..." Erick agreed lazily, he was playing with one of Reggie's feet.
"I'm not going faster, my brother's in the car!" Mel scoffed.
"We're not asking you to! Just enough so we can feel like we're actually moving!"
"Bringing you three was a bad idea," Emily said over the boys' laughter.
"Fine!" Mel pressed down the pedal, the car immediately gaining speed. "I'm was just being careful!"
"Which makes me proud," Emily softly patted her shoulder. "It feels like it was yesterday when you were running around Remus' house in nothing but a diaper and now you're driving!"
"The other night I ran into her wearing no pants, so she's hasn't changed really," Erick murmured nonchalantly. "I stepped on Grey's tail thanks to that... maybe that's why he hates me so much."
"What?" Harry's head snapped to the side so fast he hurt himself.
"I forgot you live here now! Sometimes I sleep like that, s'not a crime!" She looked at Harry through the rearview mirror. "I've been an only child for sixteen years, sometimes I forget there are more than two people in my house..."
"I'm surprised her scream didn't wake up Leon," Erick sniggered.
"He's a heavy sleeper like his dad," Emily responded distractedly.
The conversation died instantly. It wasn't the woman's intention, of course, but it'd been only a few weeks since Sirius' passing, sometimes they would forget for a moment, just a brief second, then one of them would talk about Sirius and everything would start again...
It was painful, and it was weird. Mel had never endured something like this with anyone except Harry. Having a larger group of people sharing the same pain was strangely comforting.
Mel cleared her throat. "It's Harry's turn..."
"I'm okay," He said quickly. "I can learn another day..."
"Glasses, you and I have a tradition of experiencing things at the same time," The girl stopped the car and turned to look at him. "You're not going to ruin our streak. Besides, I need to know if I'm better than you."
Harry stared at her in amusement, then he looked at Erick.
"Is it fun, having her bossing you around all day?"
"I boss her around too," Erick smirked.
"They take turns," Her mother sighed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Harry gave the woman a look of sympathy as he stepped out of the car.
"There are worse things than being stuck with two pushy teenagers..."
"Hey!"
"Sorry," Emily smirked. "A pushy teenager and a pushy adult."
"If it annoys you that much I'll move out," Mel offered humorously. "What d'you say, Prince? Should we try our luck outside our comfort zone?"
"You wouldn't last a day," Erick taunted.
"Fiddlesticks," Mel muttered, to which Harry laughed.
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It was around three in the morning when someone knocked on her door. She'd been awake for a while now, so she stood up and opened it.
"Hi," She rubbed her eyes. "What's up?"
"Can't sleep," Erick mumbled. "Care if I stay a moment?"
"Go ahead..."
She went back to bed, Erick sat at the edge and stared at her for a moment. Grey let out a sleepy growl, curling further away from his reach. Erick pulled out his pocket watch, now hanging from a chain he'd found in Regulus Black's room back in Grimmauld Place. The reason why he'd taken it was unknown to Mel.
"What's up?" She mumbled, suppressing a yawn.
"I'm thinking."
"About?"
"How lucky I am."
Mel let out a puff of air without replying. He would do this often, say he was lucky to be there, that she'd saved his life... She just wanted him to shut up.
"I really don't want to punch you, Prince, I'd ruin your pretty nose."
He smiled, unbothered.
"You know, a few years ago you would've been pleased to hear me say that, you ungrateful git."
"Yeah well, a few years ago my biggest dream was to become a princess," She joked. "So you see my priorities were a bit messed up..."
"You'd make a cute princess."
"C'mon —"
"I mean it."
"Erick," Mel said in a tone of warning. "Stop."
He'd been acting like that for a whole week: flirting when no one was around, complimenting her... Mel had closed up so tightly around herself that she was barely capable of saying I love you to her mum. Erick had lived deprived of affection his whole life and was just getting out of that environment. At what point had she become the cold, distant one, and he the ray of sunshine?
She knew right away what he was trying to do, but she was so numb... Mel cared about him, but she was not there yet.
Erick leaned on the wall and tilted his head a bit so he could look at her.
"I'm sorry."
"Why?" She replied. "It's not your fault... I just — I need time."
He nodded shortly.
"We can talk later?"
He was wonderful, but she was in the middle of all that was wrong in their world, right next to Harry and the lifeline that she still hadn't decided whether she wanted to keep or not.
"We should go to bed," She murmured, still unable to make any real decisions for herself.
"Yeah," He stood up, carefully putting the blankets back in place and dropping them all over Grey on purpose. He put the watch back in his pocket as well. "Sweet dreams, Mely."
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The Ministry of Magic
PROTECTING YOUR HOME AND FAMILY AGAINST DARK FORCES
The Wizarding community is currently under threat from an organization calling itself the Death Eaters. Observing the following simple security guidelines will help protect you, your family, and your home from attack.
"I have a better way to protect our house," Erick groaned, he was gently rubbing his temples. "Let Leon cry the whole night and not even Voldemort will try to enter... I myself am starting to consider living on the street just to get away from the noise."
"S'not that bad," She answered, the dark circles under her eyes giving her away. "It's hard to get used to being a human, you know?"
"Look at this," Emily unfolded the newspaper. "'Scrimgeour succeeds Fudge' — Well, haven't met him yet but I hope he's got a bit of brain, Tonks told me a few months back that he's certainly a bit brisker..."
The doorbell rang and Mel left to open the door.
The routine at that point was established even if it had been only two weeks since their arrival; Erick got used to life at Privet Drive quite easily, he spent two whole days examining every corner of the kitchen, and when Mel showed him what a movie was, he wasted a whole day in the drawing-room watching the movie adaptations of the books she'd lent to him.
Harry would go daily to check on"Reg". Once he'd stayed the night but refused to sleep in Mel's room, not that she'd tried to convince him otherwise.
"Goodmorning," She opened the door without paying attention, "you're a bit late for breakfast but I'll let it pass as soon as you —"
She stopped talking at the sight of her great-uncle, Dumbledore smiled at her and walked in.
"I can't stay for breakfast, but I dare say I regret it deeply."
"Professor... I — Is everything okay?"
"Certainly."
"To what do we owe the pleasure?"
Mel turned to see her mother standing near the stairs, gazing at Dumbledore coldly.
"Emily," Dumbledore said. "Good morning... I'm here to speak with Mr Flint."
"Is he in trouble?"
"Quite the contrary, I believe he's never been better."
"Professor," Erick's posture changed when he walked into the room, suddenly he looked more like a young man and less like a boy. "What can I do for you?"
"I have a mission for you... Mel as well, but only if she wishes to go."
"She's not of age," The woman replied quickly.
Mel was ready to accept whatever it was he wanted her to do, she needed to feel like she was doing something. Although she wasn't exactly happy to see him so soon after the end of their last term.
"As I said, only if she wishes to come. I assure you she'd be safe."
The girl looked at her mother and then at the men standing in front of her.
"Can I hear what this is about first?"
Emily crossed her arms without uttering a word, her uncle signalled towards the couch.
"A word, then?"
Erick nodded, making a beeline to the closest armchair. Emily turned to leave, but Dumbledore spoke again.
"You can stay."
The woman shared a look with her daughter, Mel couldn't hide her eagerness to hear what the old man had to say.
"I won't sit there and watch history repeat itself," Emily sighed.
The woman left before Mel could say anything. She would talk to her later, but first, she needed to talk to Dumbledore.
"I beg you not to interrupt me while I speak."
Both pupils silently agreed to his petition.
"Now, I find myself in need of a new Professor, but the man I'd been contemplating for the job has been on the run for almost a year — He's not guilty of any crimes," He added, noticing the way their faces grew worried. "He's just afraid like everyone else... I need you to track him down and point me to where he is so I can have a word with him."
"I'll do it," Erick responded instantly.
"Alone?" Mel frowned.
Dumbledore stared at her for a second too long.
"If I remember correctly today is your sixteenth birthday, isn't it?"
"Yes."
"Mr Flint turned seventeen in January — You may know that's considered to be the start of our adulthood."
"Yes."
"Erick is allowed to do magic outside school... But you still have a year left."
"I don't see  —"
"You have Matthew's spirit when it comes to saving a friend, Mel. When you were eleven you left this house with Hagrid so you could look for Harry yourself... The time has come for me to finally be honest with you."
"What do you mean 'finally'?" The words were burning a hole in her brain. "You mean all the things you told me when I was in your office last month... that wasn't it?"
Erick stared at them with polite interest, even though she knew he was dying to ask. Mel hadn't told him a thing about that night out of respect for Harry's privacy.
"That was all I had to tell you regarding the Harry," Dumbledore replied. "There are plenty of things I haven't said, and I wish to talk about them with you."
"And if I agree to go with Erick on this mission... you'll tell me?" Mel raised a brow.
"I'll tell you whether you help me with this or not, but I believe there's nothing else I can teach you, Mel. All that's left for you is to start putting your knowledge to use; I recommend you to go on this mission."
"What about my animagus lessons?"
"Ah, yes," Dumbledore smiled. "I'll help you with that, but that'll be it. You've concluded your lessons with the highest marks, dear girl."
She would've been elated hadn't been because of the strange way her uncle was acting.
"Aren't you happy?" Erick nudged her arm gently. "You've worked hard for years, you should be proud!"
"I am proud," Mel replied shortly. "And I'd love to help, but I can't leave my family, it's not safe."
"They'd go to the burrow if you leave."
"What about Harry?"
"He'll go to the burrow too, but I have a few matters to attend with his family first."
"If Mel wants to stay that's alright, I can go on my own —"
"You can't."
Erick looked at her irritated.
"It's not like you can do magic outside school."
"It takes more than magic to survive out there — You don't know how to blend in with the muggles, do you?"
"You can discuss this throughout the day," Dumbledore grabbed a letter from his pocket. "In this, you'll find all about Horace Slughorn's last known whereabouts and a picture so you can identify him. If you do, don't approach, he'll know you're following him. As soon as you find him come back to Privet Drive and write to me."
"This is all just in case we decide to go, right?"
"I'm going," Erick scowled at her.
"We'll talk about this after dinner," She glared back.
Dumbledore stood up and they followed, Emily was at the entrance ready to let him out.
"I'll wait for your response, then," Her uncle stared at her for a moment. "You and Harry..."
"We haven't decided," She was quick to reply. "We need time."
"Very well."
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"You're quiet."
"I have a lot to think about."
Her day had been slightly ruined by her great-uncle's visit. Although Lupin had been there for a couple of hours and stayed for dinner. Mel and Erick talked about the mission and she'd promised to tell Harry after the party was over, which was now.
The Slytherin was upstairs taking a shower and Emily was putting Reggie to bed. Mel and Harry were sitting on the grass, watching the stars above them. She'd fallen into contemplative silence, pondering what to do. She could go chase some stranger for Dumbledore's benefit, or she could stay and look after her family.
"This would be much easier if my mum had asked me to stay!" She pouted.
"I reckon she knows that," Harry responded, throwing small rocks over the fence.
"Won't you?"
"Hmm?"
"You won't ask me to stay?"
Harry stared at her.
"No."
He didn't explain his reasons, but he didn't need to. Mel had made up her mind even if she didn't want to admit it. That was exactly why she was so upset, she wanted to look after her family, but her responsibilities were keeping her apart. Three years of hard work had led to this, and although Mel was a big sister now, winning the war was more important than changing diapers.
Her mother was a whole different problem too. Around them she was always cheery, but Mel was sure she'd heard her cry when none of the boys was around to hear.
She believed it was about Sirius, but it could also be about her and Harry, that she was scared for them. Mel didn't have the heart to lie if her mother were to ask about the prophecy. It was, as they had agreed without even having to speak about it, too much weight to put on their loved one's shoulders. The idea of Emily, the closest thing to a mother Harry ever had, finding out there was a big chance one of them would die after having lost Sirius in such a brutal way...
"I don't think I'll be able to look at Dumbledore in the eye if I come back empty-handed..."
"You're one of the best witches I know," Harry shrugged. "You'll be fine, just try not to murder Flint while you're away."
"He's less annoying now," She grinned. "Ever since he left his parents' house, dunno, he's improved. Although I might murder him if he doesn't stop —"
She was going to say 'flirting', but for some reason, she didn't feel ready to talk about that with Harry. She wasn't ready for anything and yet the world was forcing her to keep moving, it was exhausting.
Mel got up and offered her hand to her friend.
"Do you remember when you were just Harry and I was just Mel, and we were the odd kids at school?" She fixed her gaze on her bedroom window. "Wish we could go back to that."
"When I didn't know I was a wizard?"
"Things were easier back then, don't you think?"
"Maybe," He retorted. "But they were never entirely good."
In Harry, Mel found another reason to stay.
They could have the summer to talk about the things they needed to. She would stare at his aged features and compare them to the ones of that young boy she used to call her best friend...
Their bond still had thousands of cracks that had to be fixed, Mel was having a hard time letting him in again and they needed to be okay in order to know if they wanted to keep the lifeline or not. It wasn't that she didn't want to like him, she wanted the comfort he used to provide, the warmth and security of having someone who understood.
He knew it, and he was trying his best to not mess it up, but Mel didn't want to love him again, cutting the lifeline was the best way to assure that... It was easier said than done, though.
Harry was confused. Sometimes it felt like nothing would ever happen, then an overwhelming affection would crush his chest whenever Mel laughed or touched him. He didn't want to put a name to it, he was terrified of saying it, even to himself. All he knew was that the connection was a way to make sure Mel would be safe, and he didn't want to give that up.
"I should go."
"Yeah..."
"Happy birthday," He said. "I have to be honest and tell you that your present was meant to be sent last Christmas, but..."
"I didn't give you a present either, it's okay... I'm a bit angry though, that was a missed opportunity, I could've won."
Harry laughed.
"You'll have a new chance this year, but I doubt you'll be able to beat me — I've already gotten yours..."
"It's July!"
"I know," His smile vanished suddenly, then he added. "Be careful out there, please."
"Erick'll make sure I don't do anything stupid," Mel smiled. "He's so obsessed with protecting me — as if he didn't know I can do it alone just fine!"
"Yeah, but now's different."
"Different how?"
"We need you alive," He told her. "You want to live long enough to become Headmistress, right?"
Mel froze, not knowing what to answer.
"What?" Harry tilted his head.
"I lied," She blurted out. "I never wanted to be Headmistress — I saw you that night, in the mirror... I saw..."
"What?" He asked again, this time softer.
"You kissed me. A real kiss... like the type we used to gawk at as children."
Harry cleared his throat. "Oh."
A tense silence surrounded them. The variations of colour in his eyes were remarkably easy to notice from where she was standing. She was tilting her head up now, perhaps they were too close.
"Be careful."
"You told me that already," Mel whispered, unable to look away. "Anything else you'd like to say?"
"Yes," He paused, his eyes took a quick glance to her lips. "But if I say it you'll get mad."
Harry kissed her, Mel responded by pulling him down.
It was hard to tell whether she was euphoric or scared, perhaps both, or perhaps neither. As soon as it happened Harry jumped away, and she was dropped back into reality.
"I can't do it — We haven't talked about  the lifeline — We won't make the right choice if we let our feelings —"
"You're right! Yes!" Mel said, acting just as agitated. "It's a terrible idea — I like you, but—"
"—it's confusing," He said anxiously. "Do you have feelings for me?"
"Do you have feelings for me?" Mel asked in a high-pitched voice.
"No!" He responded, but his voice trembled with a lack of confidence. "I care about you a lot —"
"— I care for you too —"
"— But just —"
"— as friends!"
They stared at each other with the same frightened expression.
"I'm sorry if I made things uncomfortable," He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "I... I don't want to lose you."
"We need to spend some time apart," She nodded, avoiding his eyes. "We can ignore this happened, right?"
"Absolutely," He agreed. "You're spending the summer at the burrow?"
"My mum and my brother will be there, so I kind of have to... is that okay?"
"It's okay," Harry looked around. "We... we should go."
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"Did you ever regret falling for my dad?" Mel asked randomly. "I mean, you ever wonder how things would've turned out if you'd stayed as friends?"
Emily stopped folding her clothes.
"Something nagging that head of yours?"
"I think relationships are a waste of time. They all break and you always end up hurting..."
"What makes you think such nonsense?" Emily raised a brow, leaning back on the couch. "Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?"
"You don't think that way?" She asked doubtfully.
"Because I lost my partners that means I have to be bitter?"
"I didn't mean it like that," Mel replied quickly. "But... yeah."
Emily remained silent for a moment, gathering her thoughts.
"Solitude can do weird things to your heart, love. It can pull you towards bad or good places... People that make you feel a little less lonesome, someone who understands you. You should hold onto that for as long as you can, no matter how scary it is. You never know what wonderful things may bring you..."
"Sirius said something similar a year ago," Mel said quietly. "Something about finding my equal, that the earth's full of options and stuff..."
"I won't force you to find a partner if that's not what you want, but you're young and the world is big, you can't turn your back on every opportunity."
"It's not like I have lots of prospects right now..." She huffed.
"You don't need lots, just the right one."
Mel hesitated for a moment, then added:
"I know you used to have a crush on James Potter."
Emily looked up from the laundry again, she raised a brow. "Oh?"
"I know it was a long time ago," She shifted in her place awkwardly. "But do you ever wonder what would've happened if you two..?"
The woman sighed.
"Only once."
"When?"
"When I found out Voldemort was after his son," She folded the last shirt and handed it to Mel. "I asked myself if I had made the right choice by giving him up... When I look at you I know it was the right thing to do. What happened to James and Lily... it was horrible, but it wasn't my fault. I was happy with your father; maybe Matthew wasn't my first love, but when it comes to this, your first love rarely is the one that lasts."
"Mel?" Erick walked into the room. "If we're planning to drive around all day tomorrow, you should sleep," He nodded shortly at both of them and left the room, her mother chuckled.
"You know, Erick reminds me of your father... I know Sirius said he was like his brother, but Regulus made all the wrong choices... Erick's done all this for himself, to be better. Just like Matty."
Mel's gaze lingered on the doorway long after Erick had left.
"Thank you, for letting me go," She sighed, looking back at the woman. "I don't love following Dumbledore's orders but I... I want to make this world a better place."
"Love," Emily cupped her face adoringly. "I know why you're doing this. Just how I knew why you flew that car to save Harry, and why you went to the Ministry... but you're my daughter, and it's my job to worry about you anyway."
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Erick and Mel took three changes of clothing and put them in the trunk, Emily gave them muggle money. Mel had a fake driver's license as well as Erick, and they would take turns driving. Harry was nowhere to be seen, but it was expected since it was five in the morning. She hadn't mentioned the kiss to either her mother or Erick, she was determined to keep it that way, much like the whole lifeline stuff and the prophecy.
'Just pile more secrets on top, why don't you,' She thought bitterly as she walked out of the house.
Emily hugged both and let them kiss Reggie goodbye, Mel promised they would see each other soon, and Erick vowed he'd make sure Mel would be safe (she snorted loudly at this). Once inside the car, her friend took a deep breath.
"Ready?"
"This isn't our first adventure, Prince."
"This one's the first we do with permission."
"You're an adult, you don't need anyone's approval."
"You know what I mean," He rolled his eyes.
"Sorry. I get defensive when I'm —"
"I know," He sighed. "I talk too much when I'm worried."
"I know," She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm ready... We'll be okay."
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Next Chapter —>
Taglist.
@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @wlwmaximoff @reverse-hxlland @hamiltonwc @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee @thelastpyle
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drabbles-of-writing · 4 years
Note
Okay now you have to tell us what the siblings did to the Blight manor.
SOMEONE ASKED!!
well, first of all, they tear that bitch to the GROUND. it was during the first four years when they raid the place to grab Amity’s stuff and Dip Out. whole family was there while the parents were out at some meeting. came back to rooms on fire and over half of their belongings missing. they fixed it all up, obviously, but it was a HUGE talk for a while.
but what I really meant was when the twins inherited the manor. Something happens to the Blight parents, haven’t decided on if the bitches just died or moved away, and they suddenly own their old home. They rip out anything that has anything to do with their parents, change color schemes, furniture, all that and either chuck it in the trash or the darkest depths of the basement and set it ablaze. Burning the past away motherfuckers. And then, when all that’s done, they change the name. They thought about it for a while and eventually decided on the name; the Raven House. It was a joke between them, and also to tick off Lilith, but the name stuck. They even gave her a tiny picture above the door to solidify it. Eda still insists the Owl House is better than any big manor.
Once everything is finished and the manor is re-made, the ex-Blight’s all come to an agreement on what to do with it, since they all already had their own places and didn’t feel like moving into the house they were abused in. They say a final ‘fuck you’ to their parents and make it one big safehouse. By which I mean it’s like a shelter. Kids or young witches and humans alike (though the humans are just kids wandering by after getting in a fight with a monster or the older graduated kids when they need a little assistance) can come and stay in the Raven House to be safe and secured for however long they need.
Barcus is in charge of the place, and he looks after any kids who come along no matter the background. Some kids only stay for 24 hours, others stay for months, sometimes a few years, on end.  These are typically kids who have nowhere else to go or are on the run. We’ve got kids from the Isles, stowaways from other islands and even The Mainland, kids escaping abusive homes, orphans, kids who just need a break after getting lost/hurt nearby, the works. It’s a well-known place that’s completely free, since the Blight’s and even Lilith on occasion pay the taxes for it. It’s sweet for Barcus because he’s supplied with everything for free, but also hell because he has to deal with a bunch of kids on a daily basis. Luckily for him, he likes kids.
Course some witches or humans don’t understand Barcus, so he always has a chalkboard and chalk around his neck that he can hover in the air with his magic to write to the kids and help them learn how to understand him. If they can’t read, he usually has to call in one of the other kids in the House to help him out. No matter how long a kid stays, they are asked to carve their names on a large stone outside the manor. It used to be a statue in the front lawn the ex-Blight kids knocked over and left there, but it was repurposed. It’s littered with names and it’s not uncommon to find Barcus staring at the names or teaching some kids to read by having them read the names off the stone.
Now, the manor is big. It can easily house multiple packs of kids. But the thing is, it only has 6 bedrooms, and Barcus uses one of the smaller ones. Of course multiple kids could live in the same room, but there are some that need it more than others and aren’t comfortable with other kids. So the bigger bedrooms are saved for those kids (unless there’s an open spare one in which case it gets SWARMED) or Barcus asks the new kid to set up their stuff anywhere in the house, so long it didn’t interfere with others. Which leads to kids sleeping and hanging out in....interesting places. There’s always someone living in one of the bathrooms, three kids minimum at all times squirreling away in the closets (small and large), there’s a pile of pillows and blankets in the second dining room where kids hang out under the table, the big hallways have sleeping bags in them, some kid hid in one of the larger kitchen cabinets just because she could, there are SO MANY in the basement and attic, the library has all the nerds vibing on the bolted-down wall shelves and balconies, and one madlad set up a hut on the roof. Barcus isn’t happy with any of these but he supposes so long they don’t hurt themselves or own up to it being a bad idea later, he’ll deal with it. 
They also offer to send plenty of these kids to school (usually Hexside but sometimes others), but there are a few who refuse it and Barcus homeschools them. The rule of thumb with anyone who stays in the Raven House is that you WILL be smothered in an intense amount of Found Family and you CANNOT stop them. It’s a mad house and it’s glorious. They have their own kinds of memes and vines in that house and it’s law that if someone says “pubby” then EVERYONE in the vicinity has to tackle Barcus in a cuddle pile.
Others of the Owl Family often drop by as well. The first few times were a mess cause Barcus had to explain this was his family and no you don’t have to come down and say hi if you’re uncomfortable but please stop losing it every time Edric comes by we know he’s a fashion extraordinaire please- Camilia is one of the most common visitors, and the kids call her Aunt Camilia (a name she would vividly remember from her time in the human realm) and she teaches them all how to cook and tell them stories from the human realm. Barcus is very thankful because he needs one stable adult to help him with these kids. All the ex-Blights visit as well, though Amity slightly less because she’s so busy. Edric arrives just to show off, and Emira is a lot more refined n checks in on the kids, since her job is a children’s health care worker. Granted, Barcus does a pretty good job of being their therapist, he got a degree for a reason. Amity is a treat visit, because there’s always someone who knows she’s the Empress’s advisor and they all gawk at her for a minute before realizing she’s a shy dork n have fun info dumping on her bc she listens to them with rapt interest. Gus is a fun show, often taking down notes of the theatre kids and showing off his illusion magic, acting as his own little inspiration to them by being one of the best in his grade despite being significantly younger. He also tells his theories of the human realm which are still off and need to be corrected by Camilia. Willow is a lot more sweeter n is like the grandma who gives you too much candy but is also not afraid to beat someones ass. She’s one of the few adults All the kids respect. Luz is fun because she gives adventures and shows off a lot. And kids are always in awe at her tattoos and scars. Of course, Luz still has dumbass ideas every once in a while and ends up getting kicked out early in her visit on occasion. She showed kids how to swallow a light spell. Lilith shows up at least once a month for a little bit, and the kids always LOSE IT. At first it was genuine shock but eventually they just did it for fun because they knew it made Lilith embarrassed. Eda...god Eda is a visit kids are either excited for or dreading, depends if you can put up with her energy. Eda usually shows up when she’s bored, hiding from the cops or needs to steal something from the Raven House. She’s the weird eccentric grandma of everyone and she adores the kids. Her showing up often either ends in something catching on fire or a couple of kids getting in trouble with the law, which Eda or Barcus can easily snatch them out of. Y’all know of the Life Changing Field Trip With Zuko? Eda has a very similar thing where she grabs a gaggle of kids and takes them on an adventure, but it usually ends up looking like chores. Either way it ends up in either giving the kid some Advice they needed or just changing a way they think based on the adventures they get up to. When she gets much older and crankier, she slows down a bit but never stops having bad ideas or advice, but it’s a lot easier for the calmer kids to talk to her.
Barcus keeps all the trinkets the kids give him and holds them in a special room only he can access, like the passageways in Hexside. He cares about all the kids who come to the Raven House, even if its only for a little while. He’s still a dog at heart. A lot of kids he hears from a few months or years after they leave. They’ll call or show up and tell him how they are. And whenever they do he makes time to sit down with them with tea and listen to all they have to say. Even if they only visit once, he’s glad to see them. But, of course, there are the kids he never hears from. The ones who don’t want to, the ones who are too busy, the ones who moved off the Isle and elsewhere, the ones who get lost out there in the world, and the ones who have died. But Barcus almost never learns what their fate was. He’ll have nights where he sits in his room filled with trinkets or by the rock with names and wonder what happened to them, and hoping that they’re okay and happy. But he doesn’t have time to think about that. He has new kids coming in all the time, he should focus on them, not the past. That’s what he tells himself.
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kittybellestark · 3 years
Note
Oops I think I’m late to the ask thing... but what’s your favorite marvel fics that you have read?? You can also add yours btw
It’s never too late, I love answering these questions honestly the more the merrier
EDIT: Link to some other fave’s I recc’d back in November that I also love vvvvv much 
I most definitely will not be adding my own to this list I like my stuff full like a full two minutes and only actually like only one fic that I’ve posted long term so oops but lemme go thru my history and stuff and I’ll get some of my faves lined up
also this took me hours and i wanted to put more but when i was going thru my history you could always tell when i was about to get my monthly visit which is kinda really funny but also made this much harder than it needed to be 
some recent faves of mine is under the cut
Your Heart Changed (Mine Stayed the Same) by  loisselina (LoisSelina)
Peter Parker is back but 5 years into the future and the world has changed. Peter goes home with May only to find she had moved on, with a husband and two kids. Peter struggles to find his place in this new family with a strict step uncle, the longer he's there the harder he finds it to stay on his good side, uncertain if May will believe him.
Contains physical abuse, emotional/verbal abuse, and May Parker being neglectful at the very least.
Notes: I still haven’t read the last two chapter bc I’m not ready for it to be over, it’s really good and I am a sucker for Peter coming back post snap and is put into a bad situation bc no one handled their grief well
You Better Let Somebody Love You (Before It’s Too Late) by ambivilantangst
Tony finds Spider-Man on the roof of his favorite coffee shop.
A few days after Siberia, it hurts to move—to reply to Spider-Man, even, when he tries to talk—but Tony, while irritated, assumes it’s a one-off incident.
It’s not.
Tony keeps leaving the too-quiet Tower for his caffeine fix, Spider-Man keeps popping up against the shop’s heater vent, and as weeks turn into months, Tony finds himself with a new friend. And if Spider-Man is a little dodgy here and there, well, Tony figures everyone’s entitled to their secrets.
//
Or, Tony doesn’t recruit Spider-Man for the Avengers’ Civil War. Maybe if he had, he would’ve caught that something was up with the guy before things went to shit.
Notes: this one is really good. Tony tries to keep Spider-Man at arms length and while having some suspicions about him he respects the secret identity and the friendship they’ve built together. Everyone is hurt and then everyone is healing and i just ugh I love these sort of things
It’s a Secret to Everybody by StarPrince_Punk
“I have kids," Clint said. "I know dad behavior when I see it.” Tony blinked multiple consecutive times, processing the statement. “Excuse me?” “Tony,” Steve said now, “how long have you had a son? And how come we’ve never known about him?” “Yeah,” Clint spoke again, “I thought I was the only one with a secret family. Turns out you’ve had one longer than me!” ------- Peter gets to spend all summer living in Avengers Tower with Tony. When the Rogue Avengers get pardoned and come back to live at the Tower too, they're confused as to who Peter is. However, once they see how Tony acts around Peter, that confusion goes away, as they know for certain who Peter must be - Tony's secret son. Tony and Peter decide to make the most of the situation, and play along. They hope they can keep up the act all summer. But they soon learn that they barely have to act at all.
Notes: This is one of the first multi-chap irondad fics that I read, I had read  one shots before hand, and I mostly read Avengers Found Family and Tony/literally anyone in the avengers pairings before getting into irondad. So it holds a small place in my heart being one of the first multi-chap fics. I love the confusion, the shenanigans the way how everyone is in on the joke except for the avengers and how this made Tony and Peter bond into a father-son relationship. idk im sentimental ig
Body Pillow by The_Winter_Writer
It wasn't a surprise that everyone in the Tower seemed a bit cautious and wary around him. Bucky completely understood. That's why it was a surprise when someone, a very breakable someone, decided the Winter Soldier was an acceptable choice for sleepy cuddling.
Notes: Surprise Shawty it’s Winteriron and not irondad. This is just so cute and I really enjoy the way Bucky doesn’t trust himself and is being ostracized by others and he just is so insecure and accepts that ??? and Tony just rolls in and is like ‘ah yes optimal place to sleep is ontop of you’  like yes tony i too would love to sleep ontop of bucky u right anyways i love my insecure boys they so soft
Chances Missed, Chances Taken by winterbitch (WinterLadyy)
Steve, with Peggy's help, realizes that he's in fact, in love with his best friend who he left back in the present. He decides to go back to him. Only, something went wrong and 3 weeks for him had been 3 years in his present and there's an unhappy surprise waiting for him. Apparently, Bucky is capable of finding new friends himself, and even finding a family... A happiness of his own.
Notes: Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. His assumptions really come back to bite him in the butt and I don’t really feel as bad for him as I should. I don’t know, maybe I’m cold but he is much more reliant on Bucky then Bucky is on Steve and just, I like that Bucky built a whole life for himself and idk I guess there’s a little part of me that feels satisfaction in the fact that Steve doesn’t get the happy ending he wanted. idk makes me feel like im a lil cold sometimes but i have a love/hate relationship with steve mcu!steve is just so blah yknow 
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lucreziaborgiagf · 3 years
Note
HELLO JESS. BBC GHOSTS ARTHURIAN AU GO (by which I mean the arthurian characters in the premise of BBC ghosts, not the other way around)
REY oh my god i love you for this here we go
So in Ghosts the alive characters are a married couple, right?? Wrong!! Well, not wrong, because yes that’s exactly what Mike and Alison are. But wrong for this version because though I seriously considered having one of the couples as the main characters I then thought “hey what’s more fun than a family!!” and luckily for us (me) we have a ready made family in the form of (drumroll please) The Orkneys!!
The rest is under a read more because I got what some might call “carried away” and others might call “obsessed”
What happens is this: as the Orkney brothers grow up, they rather naturally become separated, until at last Gareth is the last one, at seventeen, living with their mother. Their father (or at least, their supposed father: they all know that Mordred looked too dissimilar to Lot to really be his son, though they never said it) died a while ago, and Morgause could not find it in her to really focus on her children over her job.
The five of them seem to unspokenly care about each other, but in a way where it was clear that they were all waiting to be contacted first.
Nonetheless, when Morgause does die, with Gareth having just turned eighteen and seriously wondering why he had taken a gap year from university, they all show up, and find that they had jointly been bequeathed the old family house in the country.
Gawain has been recently promoted and is now working from home. This meant more time than he usually spent inside his flat, and he had been getting rather claustrophobic. So, after an admittedly short heart to heart with Gareth, who was looking quite nervously towards a future without parents and with no idea what to do, he packs up his brothers in a typically Gawain-like fashion and moves them all out to the manor.
Mordred has been able to see ghosts since an incident in his youth involving a large body of water, an ill-timed trip and a sudden storm. He hasn’t been in water since, but the near-death experience left his with the ability to see those spirits left when their bodies had departed. This is especially unfortunate for him, because half the time he doesn’t particularly want to be able to see living people, let alone ghosts who do not leave when he throws things at them. But he puts up with it enough: there is, beyond all logic, a particular cup he took from Morgause’s house when he left which somehow has three ghosts attached to it, and they happily provide a deterrent for any others.
(It does create a somewhat awkward car journey: he’s being driven by Agravaine, and between the boxes in the back and the only two seats in the front, there’s not much room even for a ghost. Aggs keeps looking at him weirdly when he fidgets, but it’s not his fault that the only free place left is his lap or that Galahad decided that he simply had to see the journey to the house rather than simply confining himself to the cup like Bors and Percival did.)
Anyway, this means that he arrives at the house and immediately sees a crowd of variously costumed figures and tries turning around and leaving. Unfortunately Agravaine anticipates some “young adult hormones” and quickly steers him straight inside.
It takes him a while to finally be alone with the ghosts, who seem to quickly realise he can see them. There are eleven of them in total, though a couple seem to spend most of their time in the little gatekeeper house rather than the main building. He immediately makes a note to avoid Dinadan, who looks at Mordred once and immediately makes fun of his choice in band t-shirts (and like, he’s a ghost, what does he know about bands, it’s like trying to talk to Gaheris—) and Lamorak is instantly relegated to Mordred’s extensive “least liked people” list, which is different to his “disliked people” list. Kay seems kind of mean, which is funny, and Bedivere is responsible enough to try and control the others, but they are clearly “not dating” which honestly Mordred has no time for.
He gets on best with Clarissant, probably, as she’s smart and not too grating but still sweet enough that she likes sitting with him when he wants to be quiet but doesn’t want to be alone. Owain, likewise, has shown him several spaces in the garden for birdwatching or other wildlife (which Mordred doesn’t particularly have used for, but he does appreciate the effort).
Owain is “not dating” a different ghost, Laudine, but in a different way than Kay and Bedivere are “not dating”, in a way that doesn’t get on Mordred’s nerves and lets him acknowledge that Laudine is kind of funny. Elaine doesn’t really talk to him: there’s a river and lake by the house and she seems to prefer it there, or else by the old tower. But she has great stories, and never minds when he really needs a vent, usually about his brothers.
It’s Palamedes and Brangaine who live (in the loosest sense of the word) in the gatekeeper’s cottage. This is very useful, because it means he can set up a little bedroom inside, though it’s mostly for storage now, and sleep there when he wants to pretend he has his own space. He has a strange nervousness that they might see him as a sort of pet, but he’s pretty sure that’s not the case.
Relatively sure.
Not that it matters. They have a clearly delicate history together, one Mordred is not about to ask after for fear that one or both will start crying, but they manage in a sort of sweet domesticity. He’s left the goblet in there for now, because Palamedes seems to enjoy Galahad, Bors and Percival’s company.
And it’s—
Nice.
And then, of course, there is Lancelot. He seems far too well meaning for Mordred to carry on any kind of maliciousness for long, except that for some godforsaken reason he has also decided that Gawain is an ideal muse. He spends way too much time following Gawain around, thinking up sappy poetry about Gawain, or else sighing blissfully out of a window (presumably over Gawain). Mordred thinks that if Lancelot were to ever be able to actually talk to Gawain (physically, he means. Or figuratively? Because even if Lancelot wasn’t a ghost he does not seem to have any cognitive abilities around Gawain anyway) then this image would be shattered. Gawain looks pretty, but so does this waterfall Mordred once read about that falls down into nothingness and despair, or the river stretch that looks like a lovely refreshing swim but actually is an fierce riptide with a 100% mortality rate. Something like that. But the point is that it’s difficult enough with Gawain constantly around without having his admirer hanging round all the time too. Gawain is insufferable already without Gaheris and Gaheris getting to add to their board of “Is Gawain Secretly (Or Not-So-Secretly) a Changeling” with ‘every time he puts something down it always seems to move just within reach when he goes to pick it up’
(If you’re wondering why there isn’t an Arthur, that is a subplot that I just suddenly decided on just now. I was going to have Arthur as a Captain-like ghost but then I was thinking and long story short there’s a tangent here—
It was Arthur’s house. He’s still Mordred’s dad, though here I guess he isn’t their uncle as well, and he left Morgause the house in his will. He heard she was pregnant, and there was a little but if him which knew he could never acknowledge his child but he still wanted to provide in some way. Arthur doesn’t have to be a bad parent.
Incidentally this also solves why the brothers didn’t really know about the house before rather than “Morgause wasn’t a big fan of the country”.)
(OH MY GOD also so Guin isn’t a ghost either bc I wanted her alive. So now she’s an important plot point. She moved into the outskirts of the nearby village because she liked the area but didn’t want to contest for a massive empty house. Anyway she’s smart and despite the problems her and her late husband went through, she does respect him for this. So eventually the Orkneys will have to go for a discovery on the house’s secrets aka there are ghosts and so they will find Guin and discover the Truth. It’s all coming together now lads)
They invite their neighbours over for dinner one night: the house needs some pretty desperate renovating, but it’s now moderately liveable at least and, according to Gawain, this requires a party.
So invite them over he does. The ones to the left, a couple named Tristan and Isolde, though Gaheris swears that when they were introduced in the village Isolde looked completely different, and the ones to the right, Morgan and Vivian. They pass a very pleasant evening, despite the fact that a fox manages to get on the roof.
No one is sure how.
Gaheris and Agravaine are charged with rescuing it, which is by far the stupidest decision Gawain has ever made. However, despite them all living together, the brothers are really not in a brilliant harmony yet, and so Gawain sends those two off whilst he entertains their guests.
The two of them are staring out the window at the fox for a while before Gaheris dares Agravaine to climb up. He doesn’t want to, but Gaheris is his little brother, and if he passes over a dare from him he’ll never hear the end of it. So he climbs out.
It’s a dry night. But it was not a dry day. And the leaves packed on all the footholds are wet and slippery, and Agravaine—
Falls—
And hits the ground, several stories below.
They’re all terrified, of course, regretting every moment they spent apart or arguing. Agravaine is declared legally dead for fourteen minutes, and it is the worst fourteen minutes of any of their lives. But finally— finally— the doctors emerge to tell them that their brother is resting, but is expected to make a full recovery.
Which he does! There are several more doctor’s appointments and physiotherapists scheduled, but eventually he can return to house. (Unsurprisingly, the arguing starts again quickly.)
There is, however, one major difference.
Agravaine can now also see the ghosts.
Mordred, having been able to see them all his life, had not considered this possibility, and thus does not prepare.
Agravaine discovers these new abilities when he walks into a room to find Mordred, pretending to be on a phone call, chatting away with Clarissant whilst Lamorak inexplicably floats nearby. He stares, screams, and blacks out.
When he comes to after a moment he is faced with a lengthy, surprisingly bored conversation with Mordred, and seriously considers blacking out again. Lamorak has not left the room despite his presence being an inevitable disaster, and Agravaine perhaps unsurprisingly decides that He is to be the newest mortal enemy in Agravaine’s list.
(Lamorak is silently gratified that he is on lists for both alive people who can see him, and chooses to ignore the reasoning behind the lists.)
Mordred has been dealing with ghosts for most of his life.
Agravaine has Not.
This means that, pretty quickly, Gawain, Gaheris and Gareth realise something is even more wrong with those two than normal.
And of course they have to come clean.
Gaheris is half convinced that the two have found his conspiracy journal and that this is an elaborate ruse to trick him into confessing love for Nessie or something. Gareth is mostly concerned about the logistics and privacy, though Mordred’s narrated conversations between him and Owain seem to make him much more comfortable with the whole thing. Gawain is genuinely tempted to jump out a window to see if he can join to newly discovered exclusive club of ghost watchers, but eventually decides that it’s too much a risk to his beautiful face.
(Lancelot silently agrees, though it has not escaped his attention that it would be nice if Gawain could actually see him.)
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sincerelyreidburke · 4 years
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Omg can I please have a fic where Quinn (possibly backed by all of SMH) absolutely throws down N*te. And then maybe comforts a Sad Nando bc nando is Soft and needles all the cuddles and support
Okay, this has been in popular demand for quite some time now. It may be 1:31 AM, but I’m counting this as a little birthday present for Nando.
Set during Quinn’s summer in Arizona. :D
//
One of the first steps of taking your boyfriend home for the summer is showing him around.
For the past six days, that’s what Nando has taken it upon himself to do. He can’t believe, actually, that he and Quinn have been home from school for an entire week already— well, a week tomorrow, but still— and yet here they are, arrived at the last day of Nando’s extensive tour of the Phoenix metro area. They’ve spaced it out— something one day, something another— like dinner at Tio’s one night, an afternoon meeting his best friends from home, showing Quinn his childhood rink.
He’s satisfied with his own performance as a tour guide, but tomorrow means his first shift at Tio’s restaurant, which means that summer job season is really beginning. Which, like, obviously he and Quinn can still hang out— they’re living under the same roof; and if it’s not Mama or one of the girls, Quinn is the first person he sees every morning. It’s just that once he has a summer job schedule, their days won’t be entirely their own anymore.
For Quinn, he knows, that might be a little weird, at least for these first three weeks until Gabi and Rosa get out of school. Once they’re done, the summer theatre stuff starts up, and Quinn is getting paid to do that, so he’ll have something to do.
In the meantime, though, Nando knows he brought things with him. Like his knitting stuff. And a few books. And his camera.
And until tomorrow, the time is still theirs.
“Okay, my love,” Quinn says, at the kitchen table, over his toast and eggs. The morning is all theirs; Mama is at work, so once they got the twins out the door and onto the bus, Nando made him breakfast. “What’s on the agenda today?”
Nando grins at him. “Oh, you’re curious?”
He shrugs. “In a way.” He’s wearing a baggy KMH shirt tucked into his pajama bottoms, and he hasn’t even done his hair yet. Nando lives for seeing him like this— his obsessively proper boyfriend, who won’t be caught dead in jeans outside of a party, in his pajamas in his family’s kitchen.
It has been six days, and having Quinn at home has given him enough fuel for domestic daydreaming to last a lifetime.
It’s going to be a good summer.
“Well, I saved a good thing for last,” Nando tells him, reaching for his hand across the table. “We’re going to the beach.”
Quinn raises his eyebrows, skeptical. “In Arizona.”
“Yes,” he chirps back, because two can play at this game. “I’m driving you eight hours south to the ocean. Do you have your passport?” Quinn laughs a little, and he adds, “No, baby, the beach by the river. There’s a little park there. We can sit by the water in the sun.”
“Ooh.” Quinn smiles. “That sounds lovely.”
“But first,” he adds, squeezing his hand. “I’m taking you to my favorite Starbucks.”
Quinn cocks his head, with amusement in his smile now. “You have a favorite Starbucks?”
“You don’t have a favorite Starbucks?” he replies.
“I…” He trails off a little. “I can’t say I do, actually.”
“Well, I’ll educate you.” He brings his hand to his face, kisses it, and says, “Maybe this one will become your favorite.”
Quinn’s smile is the cutest shit he has ever seen. “Maybe so.”
*
In the truck, on the way there, Quinn is watching out the window. “So why is it your favorite?”
“Huh?”
“The Starbucks.” He looks to him across the console. “Why is it your favorite?”
“Oh.” Nando grins. “Well, okay. It’s, like, classic Arizona architecture, and—”
“Wait, you like it because of the architecture?” Quinn chuckles a little. “Are you Ben?”
“Jesus, baby, are you chirping me?” Nando jostles his arm, and Quinn laughs. “You’re a regular KMH member. I’m impressed.”
Quinn shrugs. “I suppose you’re finally rubbing off on me.”
“Wow.” Nando loves his boyfriend. “I’m honored. But FYI, I was only starting with the reasons I liked it.”
“Okay, continue, then.”
“Okay, so it has a lot of really nice outdoor seating.” Nando pauses. “It’s, like, near a shopping center, but it’s separate from the rest of the stores, so it’s not just some ugly spot. They always have the good cake pops, and plus, the manager is cool. They have blue hair and they wear a bunch of pride pins on their apron.”
“Okay.” Quinn nods, as Nando watches him process. Or at least sort of watches him, because he is, technically, still driving a vehicle, cute as the boy in the passenger’s seat may be. “That does sound like a good Starbucks.” He pauses. “What do you mean by the good cake pops?”
“Lemon ones,” he replies. “And chocolate. And, during Pride month, rainbow.”
“Oh my goodness.” Quinn closes his eyes, like he’s having a moment. “Now I’m craving a cake pop.”
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re on our way there,” Nando replies, and he laughs.
It only takes a few more minutes to arrive. The parking lot is sort of crowded, but it doesn’t look like a mob scene, which is nice. Nando sees an empty table for two under a palm tree on the patio that has their name on it.
“Here we are,” he remarks, parking the truck across the lot from the door. “Our cake pops await.”
Quinn puts on his sunglasses. Their lenses are rose-gold and circular, and he looks criminally adorable in them. And also kind of super hot. That’s the thing about Quinn. He’s the cutest thing in the world and he’s also the source of literally all of Nando’s thirst. And he can turn on a dime. “I’m ready,” he tells him, combing back his hair. Already, with the past week in the sun, it’s gone a little lighter blond on the top. “I’ll have you know, my expectations are extremely high.”
“Oh, this won’t disappoint you,” Nando assures him. “I promise.”
They walk hand-in-hand across the parking lot, and Nando grabs the door for him. Inside is sweet air-conditioned bliss, and it smells like fresh-roasted coffee beans and the bakery case. Nando hasn’t been in here since Christmas break, and it’s been too long.
There’s a small line, but it won’t take more than a few minutes to get to the register. He tries to see who’s working, in case it’s Shai, but he can’t get a good look at the cashier, and there’s no sign of their blue mohawk among the baristas making the drinks.
Shai is actually, like, thirty, and possibly married, but they memorized his drink order in high school and always complimented him on his pride shirts, so they’re one of those older queer people Nando has just imprinted on. And, okay, yeah. He was totally excited to bring his boyfriend in here to meet them. It’s the little things.
Going around town with Quinn is like showing him off, and he has never been happier.
As they get in line, Quinn wraps his hand around his elbow, leaning into him. “It smells good in here,” he hums, with his head against his shoulder.
“I told you,” Nando replies, kissing his temple. “This is a magical place.”
He checks his phone, briefly, while they wait in line; he hasn’t actually looked at it since he woke up this morning. He has a few Snapchats in the cricket group chat, plus one from Nursey (he and Dex just got engaged, which, !!!!!!), and a separate text from Rhodey (it looks like he sent him a TikTok; Rhodey is obsessed with TikTok). He opens the cricket group, turns his front camera on, and snaps a selfie. Quinn is smiling with his cheek against his shoulder, and he himself looks like a little bit of a meme, but Quinn looks cute, so he saves it before he types the caption (coffee run y’all want anything) and sends it through.
In exactly twenty seconds, Rhodey replies. It’s a picture of himself in his work uniform— he delivers pizzas in Providence— and he’s flashing a peace sign at the camera. His hair is in a pink, blue, and yellow striped scrunchie. ya get me an americano. also yall are gay
Quinn snickers. “Well, I would sure hope so, Ben.”
Nando pockets his phone and hooks his arm around his neck. “Super gay.”
Quinn leans into his shoulder. “Mm.” He nods. “The gayest.”
They move forward a spot in line, then another. In fact, they move forward three entire spots without incident. Quinn is humming some showtune— it’s from Spring Awakening; he recognizes it— and Nando is keeping his eyes peeled for Shai, or at least someone he knows. Look at me! I’m in love and I’m happy.
But then God says, be careful what you wish for.
Because as they move into the spot where they’re up next to order, he catches the sound of the cashier’s voice. “... and can I get a name for the order?”
All of the life leaves Nando’s body.
“Holly? Great.” The voice is nasally, and a little artificially cheerful. He hasn’t heard it— outside of a few drunk voicemails— in over two years, but it evokes a visceral reaction in him. He feels sick, all of a sudden. “That’ll be right up.”
He must be tense all of a sudden, because Quinn peers up at him. “Sebastián?” he asks, and what a difference between two voices. “Are you alright?”
He tries to take a deep breath. “I, um.” He pauses. “I think we have to leave.”
“Next customer, please?”
“Leave?” Quinn squints. “But we’re next!”
The people in front of them step to the side counter, and Nando sputters too long. “We, uh—”
But when the way is clear, it’s too late. “Sebby!”
Nando wants to die.
“Holy shit!” Nate has a different haircut, and a Starbucks apron, but otherwise he’s the same— the same pasty pale skin, the same bony stature, the same face so easily twisted into a scowl. Right now, though, he’s smiling, which, honestly, is an expression that looks alien on him, based on Nando’s memory. “You didn’t tell me you were home from school!”
What he wants to say is, Nate, why the fuck would I tell you I was home from school, but what he does say is, “Uh, hi.”
He is going to cringe himself to death. He’s been home for no less than six days, and he is already running into his ex with his boyfriend.
When did he start working here?
“It’s been forever!” As Nate keeps on this weirdly cordial tangent, Nando feels Quinn still next to him. Quinn knows vaguely what Nate looks like, but what he knows better is the way he used to act, and the fact that he used to call him Sebby. Also, he’s wearing a nametag. And Nando feels as stiff as a board. “How’ve you been?”
Very carefully, Quinn unwinds his arm from his, and takes a firm, obvious grip on his hand.
“Jeez, I keep trying to reach out to you,” Nate continues, like they’re old friends running into each other, and not exes with a toxic history. “We really should catch up sometime, now that you’re in town.”
Nando takes a long breath, like it’ll fix the tension in his chest. He squeezes at Quinn’s hand, which helps a little. Quinn leads when they step up to the counter, and he inhales like he wants to order, but Nate is still fucking going. “Who’s your friend?” he asks.
“Boyfriend,” Quinn blurts, in his I’m pissed and I mean business voice, which, thank God for this boy. “I’m his boyfriend.”
Nate raises his eyebrows a little, looking at Quinn like he’s a five-year-old having a tantrum. “Oh,” he says, shrugging. “My bad. Although, I should’ve known.” Nate’s eyes dart to him for a second, and Nando wants to scrub himself clean of that gaze. “He tends to go for the little guys,” Nate continues, to Quinn, gesturing between the two of them like he’s comparing their heights. Then he shrugs again. “Gotta balance it out, y’know?”
Nando’s stomach turns. It stings, so much, and as soon as this is out of Nate’s mouth he feels Quinn squeeze his hand so hard it’s like he intends to break bones. He squeezes right back, and God, he knows it’s cruel and unnecessary and shouldn’t bother him, and it’s been almost three fucking years since he had to deal with Nate, but it still hurts. It hurts just as much as every comment like that did from him. It sends him back to memories of hating and second-guessing himself, and he just. He feels so fucking humiliated.
Quinn takes a very long breath, his eyes on Nate, while he digests this, and then he says, “Can I get a peach green tea, please.” He pauses, still squeezing the circulation out of his hand, and it is the only thing keeping Nando from tearing up. Which is pathetic. But he’s just. It hurts. “And he’ll have a—”
“Mocha frappe. Yeah. I know.” Nate chuckles a little, already grabbing a cup. “Extra whip, right?”
Quinn bristles, face flushing, and finally, Nando finds his voice. “Actually,” he says, “no.” Because even though that was what he was going to order, he doesn’t want to give Nate the satisfaction of thinking he still knows him that well. His Starbucks order may be the same, but there’s so much about him that’s changed since Nate knew him. So much about him that’s better now. Without him. He orders his second favorite. “An iced vanilla latte.” And then, because even though he really doesn’t feel like being polite to him, he feels like Mama might manifest in this Starbucks and kick his ass if he doesn’t say it, he adds, “Please.”
“Hm, my mistake,” Nate says, with a shrug, as he’s writing on the two cups. “I guess you’re a new man, Sebby. We really should catch up.” Quinn’s death grip intensifies, because he knows how much Nando cannot stand being called that. He brings his other hand back to wrap around his elbow, too, like he’s being protective, and Nando has never been more grateful for him.
“Anyway, that’ll be right up.” Nate looks so unbothered, just the way he always did, years ago, when he’d make a comment that left Nando’s self-esteem reeling for days afterward. “I guess I don’t really need your name for the order, huh?”
He’s writing on the cup, and Nando can’t see— or just doesn’t want to— but Quinn must be able to, because he says, “His name is Sebastián.”
Nate raises his eyebrows. “Ooh, feisty.” And of course Quinn sounds mad— but Nate making fun of him will do nothing but add more fuel to the fire. Nate looks to him, past Quinn entirely, and adds, “Does he speak for you all the time like this, or—?”
Nando wants to melt into the floor. “Just give us our total, Nate,” he says, because the faster they can get out of here, the better. Quinn is bristling next to him, but stays quiet. 
Nate sighs, shrugs a little, and punches into the cash register. “If you say so,” he says, then announces, “6.23.”
And he thinks that’s going to be the end, but then, as he’s handing over his card, Nate keeps fucking talking. “Oh!” he says, still all faux-fake. “Sebby, you should take him to the lake. Remember, when we’d go down there in high school?”
Quinn’s grip on him tightens. This transaction cannot process fast enough. “We had a lot of fun,” Nate says, like he’s reminiscing. “Always did. It’s a shame; I feel like we never really had closure.”
Finally, finally, after what feels like a million years, he hands his card back, and Nando pockets it in a hurry. “C’mon,” he says to Quinn, because he cannot stand here for one more second, and as they walk away, Nate calls after them.
“Hey, give me a shout sometime!” He’s doing the fake-smile thing again. “We should really hang out, now that you’re in town again.”
Nando squeezes his eyes shut and takes a tight breath; he didn’t realize it before, but it’s hard to breathe. He feels sick and humiliated and awful, and when they’re far enough away to be out of earshot, he looks to Quinn and whispers, “Baby, I am so sorry.”
Quinn is surprisingly calm, at least in comparison to his clear irritation at the register. He shakes his head and rubs his arm with the free hand that’s not holding his. “Don’t apologize,” he says. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But I just—” He wants to melt. “I had no idea he started working here; I haven’t even seen him since before freshman year, and it just— like, it figures, right—”
“Sebastián,” Quinn says, and his even voice pulls Nando out of his head. “I’m going to get our drinks, and then we can get out of here, okay?”
Nando lets all his breath out at once, then nods. “I— yeah. Okay. That’s— perfect. I’m sorry, baby.”
“Do not be sorry.” Quinn rises on tiptoe and kisses his cheek. “None of that was your fault.”
Quinn seems surprisingly collected for someone who was just ignored and insulted a minute ago, and Nando has this feeling, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he’s planning something, some kind of revenge— but what could he do, with Nate just working?
They station themselves against the wall by the pick-up counter, and it isn’t lost on Nando how touchy Quinn is being— not that they’d hold back in public for any reason in general, but he’s definitely going the extra mile right now, rubbing the inside of his elbow and leaning his head on his shoulder and holding his hand all at once. Not only is the touch grounding; Nando is also fully aware that Quinn is trying to rub it in Nate’s face should he glance over from his spot behind the counter.
Which, good. Let him fucking stare if he wants to. Nando hasn’t felt that humiliated in a long time.
And he hates that he let it hurt him, that one stupid comment— but it was such a reminder of worse times, times when he’d have to process things like that from the person who was supposed to be his partner all the time, and it was just. It was always hard, and it was always awful, and being with Quinn has helped him work so much on all of that. Quinn taught him, so early on, that he deserved better. Everything with Quinn is better.
He just focuses on holding Quinn’s hand for a minute, until Nate puts their drinks out at the pick-up counter. “Stay here, honey,” Quinn tells him, squeezing his hand before he unwinds his fingers from it. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” Nando replies, and watches him go.
Quinn squares his shoulders, takes a short breath, and walks to the counter. Nando is suddenly very aware that something might be about to happen. He leans against the wall and listens in, as he watches Quinn take the two drinks from across the counter.
He’s right. Quinn looks Nate dead in the eye and says, “Hi, could I just remind you of something?”
Oh my God. Nando widens his eyes. Is Quinn about to chew him out?
Nate says nothing, but looks unamused, and Quinn continues. “You broke up with him,” Nando hears him say. “After you cheated on him, by the way. Just in case you forgot.” Nate raises his eyebrows, but stays silent. Quinn is reeling now, and there’s no stopping him. “And I happen to know an awful lot about the way you treated him, and how much that hurt him, so don’t you dare try to act so friendly, like you didn’t break him.” Nando is frozen in place, as Quinn picks up both of the drinks. “He owes you nothing. He clearly does not want to reconnect with you, and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to do that either with someone who did nothing but make me feel awful about myself for two years.” Quinn isn’t even making a scene— the only reason Nando can hear what he’s saying is because he’s not standing that far away— but Jesus Christ, if this isn’t the most satisfying thing to witness in the world. Nate is red in the face and absolutely silent, and Quinn is staring daggers at him; if looks could kill, he’d be dead on sight. “If you wanted to be his friend, maybe you shouldn’t have stomped all over his heart.”
Nando cannot believe his ears.
“And,” Quinn adds, like it’s the end of a big monologue, “I’m going to need two straws.”
Nando is so in love with this boy.
He watches, trying not to smile or even laugh, as Nate fumbles into the thing of straws and shoves two in Quinn’s direction. Quinn takes them, flashes a big, stage smile, and says, “Thank you!” before he turns and walks back in Nando’s direction.
The fake smile turns self-satisfied in a second flat, as he meets Nando’s eyes again. Nando is still kind of frozen, but he wants to kiss him, right in the middle of Starbucks.
All he can say is, “Baby.”
Quinn is all smiles. He looks the way he does when he comes out of the stage door after a great show. “Ready to go, honey?”
“Am I ever,” Nando says, and they join hands again as they head for the door. He’s not sure if Quinn knows that he heard what he said. “That… was kind of the most satisfying thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life.”
“Oh,” Quinn replies as he sticks his straw into his iced tea, “trust me, Sebastián. It’s the most satisfying thing I’ve done as long as I can remember.” He pauses, as he takes a sip, and then adds, “I’ve been wanting to do that for longer than I can even say.”
“It was hot,” he says, because, well, it was. “And just… jeez, I— maybe something good did come out of this situation.”
“Of course it did,” Quinn replies. His smile is kind of maniacal, and Nando is into it. “I got to have the confrontation of my dreams, and I got an iced tea.” He holds up his drink. “Cheers!”
Nando bumps his vanilla coffee against it and laughs. “Cheers, baby.”
Quinn squeezes his hand. They walk back outside into the summer day, and Nando doesn’t look back.
Not even a glance.
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Survey #310
“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”
Do you have a clock in your room? No. What book, movie, TV show, or video game have you been wanting to start up? I *want* to read The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but I care more about reading Wings of Fire, so I probably realistically won't for a long time. I don't read enough for that; Sutherland will surely keep pumping out books in the series so I'll never catch up, haha. As for a movie, I've been interested in seeing Jacob's Ladder for a very long time; it served as a very large influence on the Silent Hill series, and boy, anyone who brings up video games in front of me knows SH is my SHIT. I also just know I'm bound to like it with how essentially legendary it is in the psychological horror genre, which is my favorite. Onto TV show, I'm not certain. Shows don't really interest me. I would like to keep watching A:TLA w/ Sara, but "start up" implies beginning something new, so. Lastly, video games. There are a LOT of games I want to play, but yeah, I have no operational gaming console above a PS2. I'm dyinnnngggggg to play a ton of PS4 remasters (namely the original Spyro the Dragon trilogy and SoTC), but as for a fresh game I've never experienced, Ico, which is from the same producers of Shadow of the Colossus. It's an old game, and Mom's bought it off of Ebay for me twice, but neither disc worked - they froze only minutes into the game. It's hella expensive in new condition though because of its age... so who knows when I'll actually get to play it. Do you put anything else on your grilled cheese sandwiches? Just butter. Have you ever read a book in a different language? I've read some simple fairy tales as well as the play Faust in German courses. Do you want to go to the Harry Potter theme park at Universal? I have no connection with the franchise, but I mean, I'd go if you're paying, haha. If you had a secret room in your house, how would you decorate it? I'm trying to think what kind of room I'd keep a secret... Ha, actually, IF my love of tarantulas expands so largely to having dozens (which I doubt, but I acknowledge the possibility once I get my own place), a room kept on the down low to others just for them would be pretty cool. Imagine someone not knowing they're sharing a house with like, a hundred Ts, haha. As for actual decor, I'm unsure. I'd definitely keep it generally dark for them as nocturnal creatures, maybe with some Halloween decorations, like lots of fake webbing and neon green or orange lights. Man... that sounds dope. What did you get your dad for his last birthday? I couldn't buy him anything, nor did I actually make anything since I didn't know what to create. I just told him happy birthday, of course. Do any of your relatives live in another country? No. Are you claustrophobic? In some spaces, yes. Ever seen Blair Witch? Without spoilers, you know "that part" near the end? Yeah, if you've seen it, you know. That would be a fucking NIGHTMARE for me. Even watching it made me squirm. When grocery shopping, do you usually buy brand names or store brand? With most items anyway, we just get the store brand bc we cheap. Around what time do you usually eat dinner? Generally between 5:30-6:30 nowadays. Do you have any clothing that you get dry cleaned? No. Do you like foods with coconut in it? Eugh, not a coconut fan. I don't hate it as much as I used to, but I still don't like it. Have you ever researched your family history? No, but some past relative researched our family tree. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I hate carrots. Did you play with Legos as a kid? Nah, I was more into Lincoln Logs. Which bothers you more… spelling mistakes or bad grammar? It really depends on the severity and simplicity of the spelling or grammar rule. Grammatical misuse of "there/their/they're" stand out very strongly to me, though. Have you ever bought anything off of eBay? Yeah, a good number of things. Is anybody in your family schizophrenic? If so, what is their life like? I have a scizophrenic half-sister that I've never met, so I couldn't tell you. How organized is your mind? How do you know it's organized/disorganized? My mind is running Windows '98 with multiple windows and even more tabs open, all of them not responding. :^) Why do you follow the religion that you do? I don't follow one. My personal religious journey was a train wreck liberating to jump off of. Do you feel superior to others because you're that religion? I don't care if you're atheist, Christian, Buddhist, Islamic, whatever - you are by no means superior to another person in any way just because you believe different things happen once you die. If you do, it's time for some introspection. Are you a blind believer, or do you frequently challenge your own beliefs? Seeing as I went from Catholic to Christian to briefly Neo-Pagan-ish to what I am now, just believing there's some higher power/knowledge and some form of sentience after death, I obviously challenge them. What's the greatest thing about science? Life itself. This universe, this planet, your state of just knowing is a product of science, and that's pretty damn beautiful. Are you emotional or very stolid? I know I'm too emotional. I'm trying to get better about it. Do your siblings look like you? To a degree, but not NEARLY as much as they look like each other. Ashley and Nicole have been mistaken multiple times in their lives and even asked if they're twins. How many states have you lived in? Just this shitty one. How many states have you traveled through/vacationed in? Traveled through, a whole lot. Up and down the east coast. I've stayed in New York, Florida, Ohio, Illinois, South Carolina briefly, and I think possibly Michigan as a baby. Which state was/is your favorite? I don't know. Not NC, haha. You have two weeks alone in any place in the world; where would you go? Alone? Um... I dunno. I'd get lonely through two weeks in absolute isolation. How old were you when you first moved out of your parents' home? I want to say I was 18 when I briefly "moved in" with Jason and our roommates. Did you ever have to move back in? Yeah; the apartment didn't last very long. None of us were ready. How old were you when you thought you were "in love" for the first time? I was in love at 16. I'd fight God literally for eternity to prove that fact. How many exterior doors are in your home? Two, or maybe three, depending on your outlook. We have like this deck in the back with a roof and mesh separating you from the outside, and then you properly go into the yard from the door beyond that. How many cars have you owned? I myself, none. How many email accounts do you have? Ummmm my very first one I misspelled, so I didn't use it long before making a new one with the correct spelling, then later I had no choice but to make a Gmail to use YouTube, and I know I've had at least one email specifically for school. I'm probably forgetting some other oldies I used for small things. What was the last movie you watched alone? The Shining. What (if any) one television program do you watch religiously every day/week? None. What (if any) is your favorite sport? Dance. Scoff at that shit and then try one dance session and tell me it's not one. What is your favorite musical? None. Have you ever seen a live opera production? No. Dressing up for an evening out: Pants or skirt? Pants. I don't show my legs. What do you currently hear right now? I'm listening to Dance With the Dead's "The Man Who Made a Monster." I LOVE the aesthetic of synthwave and rock mixed together, but the only problem I have with this song is that it's very repetitive. Still stuck in my head though, haha. What type of survey do you refuse to take? I'm not into bolding surveys, specifically. Do you like to run? bitch fuck no Do you think you could run the mile in 10 minutes? Zero chance. What was the longest movie you watched? Hm, I don't remember... It's faintly there in my head, I just can't identify it... Have you ever been to a job interview? Well yeah. Who was the last person to call you? My psychiatrist. Now that I'm doing the partial hospitalization program again, he calls once a week. When was the last time you talked to your last ex boyfriend? Uhhh I think around the start of this month? Missed him and felt like chatting for a bit. Is your dog mixed or full? I don't have a dog, buuuut... we're getting one soon! I'm quite sure she's a mutt. What was the last thing you and your mother did together? Rode to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. Do you take good pictures? I like to think so. What is your display picture on myspace/facebook right now? The most recent selfie I took and liked. I'm finally comfortable using makeupless photos as a display picture. :') Not that I like my body by any means, I just don't care enough to feel like I HAVE to wear makeup to be even remotely pretty in the face. As for everywhere else... ahahaha. What is going on outside right now? It's raining. Like it has been for what feels like literally weeks - and it might actually have been. There's been one or two sunny days in a huge streak of just nothing but rain. It's so gross outside by now; we've been under a flood warning for days on end. Who was the last person you kissed? My best friend, but we were dating then. What color looks the best on you? Black. Have you ever bought the wrong size because you were too lazy to check it? Oh, absolutely. I LOATHE trying on clothes. You have to essentially drag me to go do it. I don't have a good reason other than I don't want to, lol. What was the last thing you bought over 5 dollars? I put down the deposit on my tattoo. c: Do you have any mag subscriptions? No. What is something you're not scared of but a lot of people are? Snakes are probably the highest on the list. I adore snakes, all snakes. Would you ever have a threesome? No; I'm strictly monogamous and to me would be cheating even if your partner was in on it. Are you an U.S. citizen? Yep. Do you have any step siblings? I have a stepbrother, yeah, but I don't see him as my brother, honestly. He's a very quiet and reclusive guy I've had almost no conversations with, and they've only ever been short. Do they annoy you? Nah, he's fine. How many times a day do you talk to your mom on the phone? Well, we live together... What did you wear yesterday? The same pjs I'm in now. I'm changing when I take a shower later. The tank top is a Day of the Dead-esque skull pattern, while the pants are mostly navy with skulls and candy can crossbones that say "nice until proven naughty" arching over and beneath them. They were a Christmas gift from my sis and are really soft and comfortable. Really don't care that it's now out of season, I wear them anyway. I do not match colors AT ALL, but again, I don't care. What color straightener do you have? We don't have one; neither Mom or I use one. Do you listen to music really loud or really low? Turn that shit up LOUD. I'll be nearly deaf one day, but... worth it? lol Do you live with anybody other than your siblings and your parents? No. Both my sisters have moved out. I'm still here because I'm just not emotionally or financially equipped to live on my own yet. Who was your last crush? I still like my best friend, but agree with her that right now isn't the time for anything. How many tattoos do you have? Currently only six. :( What is your favorite thing to do? Car rides with Mom while I ride passenger, controlling the music nice and loud with my iPod. It's odd, considering I'm very afraid of being on the road, but it's just such a freeing, wild feeling to blare music and just go, letting your mind wander. How many pets do you own? I only have a cat and a snake right now, but we're getting a dog hopefully very soon, preferably today actually when Mom has to go to the appropriate city for her normal check-up to keep her cancer at bay. Her name is Vanna and sounds so perfect for us. Mom can barely wait. Are you close with your parents? Yes, very, Mom especially. Where do you shop the most for your clothes? Hot Topic or Wal-Mart. I'd really like more stuff from Rebel's Market; they have such a wide range of stuff that just scream my aesthetic. I got my purse from there, and it's fantastic quality and so cool-looking. Have you ever read a whole series of books? Well, one trilogy that I remember: Shiloh. I adored those books and the movies. I got very, very deep into Warriors by Erin Hunter, but then my interest in reading waned, and I'm immensely behind. I don't think I'll pick it up again, but I've thought briefly about it. When you tell someone you love them do you mean it? Yes. Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up? I walked. Do you ever eat anything everybody else thinks is gross? Hm, perhaps. I'd have to think for a while. What did you do for your last birthday? I just ate pizza at home with my one sister that was free that day, Mom, and a family friend, as well as opened presents. What do you plan on doing for your 18th birthday? I don't recall, but I think that may have been when I was in the psych hospital. Or was that my 21st? I don't remember. Do you have to type with good grammer? Yes. I type pretty much exactly how I talk. What is your favorite quote? It's hard to pick one singular favorite. Are you allowed to cuss in front of your parents? Dad could care less, but I try to limit myself with Mom, especially with "fuck." She's not a fan, nor does she like if I just swear too much in front of her. Like she won't yell at me or anything, she just makes it clear she wants me to stop. How long was your last phone conversation? Just a couple minutes. I didn't get the Zoom link to group therapy one day and let the place know. Turns out their email was fucking up. Which one of your friends annoy you? The family friend I mentioned a few questions above has the ability to be incredibly aggravating. I love her, but she has zero issue with inserting herself into everything (and sometimes we just don't want to see her), and she voices incredibly rude opinions literally no one asks for a whoooole lot. She's got a strong tendency to try to take control over every situation. Her being our landlord now makes it harder to speak up, and besides, no one wants to hurt her feelings. Don't be mistaken though, she truly is an incredible person with a heart more caring than probably any person I know. Have you ever lost a close friend to death? No, thank fuck. I mean, I think. I do believe one of my childhood online friends committed suicide because of sexual abuse from her own fucking brother, but I guess I'll never know. She was talking to me one night horribly depressed and scared and then just vanished. Bless her, I loved her. Do you know someone who suffers from addiction? Yes. Do you have a lot of pictures in your room? Tons of posters and artwork, anyway. I currently don't have any photographs, but I got this shadowbox thing for my bday to decorate with pictures of Teddy so I can use it in my "tribute shrine" or whatever for him, and I'd also like to frame the picture of Sara's and my first hug and maybe put it on my bedside table. Do you have Facebook? Yeah, I do. Have you ever found a dog/cat on the side of the road? I myself, no, but a friend's mom did find two poor kittens thrown aside in a fucking plastic bag... Some people are abominable. Knowing how much my family loved cats, she reached out to us, and we took them in and named them Aphrodite and... I can't remember the other's name. She disappeared kinda early. Aphrodite wound up being one of my most beloved cats and was even the mother of a kitten that same family adopted. Delilah is still alive, doing wonderfully, and incredibly loved. <3 Aphrodite, meanwhile, as well as all our other cats at the time, were taken by animal control because our neighbors were tired of them wandering, even though they were too fucking cowardly to confront us first. I've said in many surveys that I am very much against outdoor cats, but I wasn't then because I was uninformed and really didn't understand. I wailed and sobbed and just pure shrieked like a banshee outside when we came home to learn they were taken. I have no clue how any are now, and that's the worst part. Do you go bowling in your town? We are in the middle of a pandemic, lol. Even beforehand though, I rarely went. Last time I did was on a date with Girt. We had fun. Do you have a drive-in theater? No sir. What brand is your favorite shoe? Converse. Is your best friend's mom like your own? They're quite similar, yes. Both are very sweet and caring for others. Do you have anxiety or depression? Try both. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Sonic. Do you own a pair of brass knuckles? Nah. Have you and your friends ever made up a word? Likely as kids. Do you have any embarrassing baby pictures of yourself? Not that I know of. What is the worst smell in the world? Anyone remember that survey I took mentioning my dog's old tumor? Yeah, that after he spent overnight in a diaper and inevitably peed himself in his old age. And he had a UTI. You probably can't even imagine how fucking vomit-inducing that smell was. Do you dye your hair a lot? No. :/ I really wish. I have so many colors I wanna try. Do you have anybody in your family who rides dirtbikes/fourwheelers? Not really? No one in my family owns one. My younger sister would totally go if you asked her and had one for her to use, though. She's done it plenty before. Have you ever rode a dirtbike/fourwheeler? Yeah, a fourwheeler, and it's really fun! Tell me how you got one of your scars? Hmmm, let's think of a unique one. Ah, my shins, left one especially. When I shave my legs, they get unbelievably itchy, even if I use lotion, and I would scratch my skin absolutely raw so often that I have permanent scars. It's partially why I barely shave my legs anymore. Have you ever had a friend who cut themselves? I know many, sadly. I don't know of any that still do, thankfully. I promise, it never helps. If you ever have the urge, I can't suggest enough running where you want to self-harm under cold water or slap the location (like your wrist) with a rubber band. The latter is especially helpful. It's a similar burning sensation and doesn't leave marks. It would help me refrain sometimes. What is your favorite thing to do in the summer? Swim in a nice, warm pool. Otherwise, become a hermit and wait for the outdoors to not be prepared to melt the flesh off my bones. x_x Do you go tanning or do you lay out? Neither, ugh. As you can guess from above, I hate the sensation of heat on me. What is your favorite skin lotion? I just really like cocoa butter. Smells really good and is perfectly moisturizing. Do you use a lot of hair products? The only hair product I use is shampoo, haha. Do you have a cousin you dislike? No. Well, one is incredibly brainwashed and misled by her psychopath of a father, but I love her nonetheless. We talk now and again because family is important to her. Have you ever heard Theory of a Deadman? Yeah, they're good. What is your comfort food? Absolutely ice cream. Who is your celebrity crush? Mark Fischbach/Markiplier is a perfect human being with the looks of a god and heart of a saint and you cannot convince me otherwise. What’s the song you most wish you had written? "Imagine" by John Lennon is a high contendant, for sure. Definitely something I'd write. Have you ever been stuck by someone very annoying on a plane/bus/etc? I think so at one point or another. Did you get lost at all on your first day of high school? Ha, for sure. Have you ever been interrupted during sex? A bitch knows how to act asleep if she hears a door so much as barely squeak, I'll tell you that much lmaooo. Have you ever been recorded doing stupid things while drunk? No. Has a significant other ever called you by the wrong name? No. Have you ever cooked anything and it turned out horrible? I've barely actually cooked anything in order TO fuck up. Have you ever made a bad first impression on someone’s parents? I can't say with certainty, but I think Jason's mom had her doubts about me at first because she commented on the ripped jeans I wore when I went to his house for the first time. She came to love me like her own though, and I love(d) her. I was actually just thinking about her and how she's doing the other day. What is a food that you always are in the mood to eat? Always? Perhaps sour candy, like Sour Punch Straws in specific. Ever held a newborn animal? Many kittens, yes. Do you make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? I do, but just for the annual appeal of it. I don't actually believe it will have any effect on what I wished, it's just... normal, ig. What is the last thing you searched for online? Medical coding classes. Having trouble finding any free ones that are actually legit... Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when it's hot in your room? It's borderline impossible. Do you dunk your cookies in milk? Sometimes, and almost always with Oreos. Do medical terms make you uncomfortable? Ha, speaking of medical coding... No, not really. It's unnerving to hear "you have _____," but I understand it can be something so, so minor. Of course, it could be the exact opposite, but. I also actually find it quite interesting to learn the Latin roots of the terms. Are you afraid of failure? Beyond measure. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes, to my former friend's son. Not that that witch of a woman was a great person. I'd love to know how an infant can be negatively affected by receiving nothing but love from his "aunt," also having no concept of understanding about me being unemployed and not very "adult-ish" in general, which I'm sure is what she meant. Normally judgment hits me deep, but that shit I just rolled my eyes at.
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persephonescat · 5 years
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Birds and Other Supernatural Phenomenons
Hiiii! This is… long. Probably the longest chapter I’m going to have, but it’s all only one scene and I just couldn’t cut it in half. Thank you for your comments! They make my whole week! Some of you pointed out a few mistakes in the last chapter, I hope it’s all good now! ^^ And please tell me if there are any weird sentences or typos or anything. Multiple people told me that the last chapter’s storm came very suddenly, so I re-read the sixth chapter and as it turns out, the sentence about the weather was lost in the editing. It all looked very dark and moody in my head, so I didn’t notice there was no description of it. Thank you for telling me, I’m definitely going to correct that.
(I think we should call this fic BaOSP in the future when we’re just talking about it in the comments or on Discord or just in general, bc this title is really long… The title and the tags will stay the same of course, it’s just that from now on, BaOSP is the official (???) shortened version of it.)
Damian meets Marinette, I REPEAT, DAMIAN MEETS MARINETTE.
Ch. 1    Previous    Masterpost    AO3 
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Ch. 8: Lord Annoyance
It was Monday night and Damian Wayne already hated the week.
Tim finally passed out on Saturday and did nothing but sleep all weekend, so on one hand, now he was capable of speaking in full sentences. On the other hand, all of his sentences were about the process of etching and nobody knew why, so it wasn’t any less problematic.
Dick came home with several holes in his shoe and refused to speak about it.
Jason didn’t eat anything but pork for a week straight and this morning he swore to go vegetarian.
Bruce was in the process of finding new hobbies - Tim said it was midlife crisis, Jason said the old man was finally going crazy and Cass was out of town, so she just yelled at them via video chat. Barbara and Steph laughing their asses off every time the topic came up didn’t help either, but after seeing the anvil in the living room while going to get breakfast, Damian was starting to agree with Jason.
On top of it all, some idiot under the name of Dark Nomad killed a chicken, painted obscene pictures on the walls of one of Bruce’s apartments with its blood, then for some reason, they stole some garden interior and part of the fence. Just fantastic.
And guess who had to track him down and arrest him? Robin. Because his family was a bunch of freaking sadists.
On top of it all, when he finally arrived on the rooftop where the petty villain was spotted two days in a row, the idiot wasn’t alone.
Robin landed quietly, hid behind a metal staircase leading the upper parts of the building and stopped to listen to the conversation going down between the two shadowy forms. He was already planning revenge in the back of his mind - it would’ve been ridiculously easy to poison at least two out of his three brothers. Not too badly but enough for them to have an unpleasant couple of days.
“Did you manage to sleep during the day, or should I be worried about you suddenly falling down from here because of exhaustion?” one of the forms asked flatly, a young girl sitting on the edge of the roof. She looked tiny compared to the Nomad sitting beside her, but she didn’t seem to be afraid at all. Her body language was taunting and open, her dark hair shimmered in the light coming from the streets below as she turned her head towards the boy. She had a slight French accent.
“Nah, I had double English in the afternoon, so I’m good,” the Nomad said, playing with a stray thread on his hoodie. “You?”
“I slept on the bus…” the girl started, trailing off. She tilted her head, concentrating on something. “Could you give me a minute?” she asked, standing up. For a moment, Damian felt relieved. She was already leaving.
Then she turned towards him.
She could’ve just heard something. She could’ve just checked out the area. It could’ve been a coincidence, but she was staring right at him, even though he was sure he wasn’t visible in the dark.
She walked towards his hiding place with no hesitation or fear. He was standing there motionlessly as she got closer. He studied her form, looking for weapons and weak points. She was wearing a warm cardigan with jeans and dark boots. He eyed her scarf and gloves suspiciously. It wasn’t that cold, but he didn’t see anything hidden in them.
Her red lipstick matched her scarf, her hair was tied into a loose braid coming forward at the side of her neck, dancing gracefully when a light breeze caught it. Her body language was still way too open and she foolishly grabbed the railing of the staircase before peeking behind it, leaving her torso even more vulnerable.
If he was ever planning on confronting her, he would’ve changed his mind after that. She was clearly harmless when it came to physical combat.
What the hell was she doing here, then?
“Can I help you?” she asked, looking at where his mask covered his eyes. Her voice was toneless and her accent was gone. Robin wondered if he was just imagining it earlier. Maybe he was too deep in his thoughts to pay attention.
It happened a lot nowadays. Him, getting lost in his thoughts and not paying attention. At first, it annoyed him - and scared the living daylight out of him, not as if he was about to tell that to anyone. Now he knew it was part of being human. It meant he was getting healthier, as Alfred put it. Making mistakes was part of life and he wanted to have a life, right?
Yes, he did.
Sometimes he looked at Bruce and his sorry brothers and realized that he already had a one. It made him feel weird. Happy, probably, but it was a new kind of happy. It made him want to smile at the most random times and help Alfred with chores. It made him have this… desire to go after Bruce when he disappeared to his garden to calm down, to bring home some donuts for Dick every time he passed that shop he liked, to take Jason to Disneyland on his birthday, to make Cass smile more often, to pull up the security footages from the Cave on his computer, so he could check on Tim without him knowing.
It was terrifying and he wouldn’t have changed it for anything in the world.
“Robin?” the girl asked impatiently. Damn, he zoned out. He cleared his throat, trying to find the right thing to say.
“Errm… do you realize you are sitting with a criminal?” Good job, Damian, your brothers would be proud. Why not ask her her favorite color too, maybe that will help. He was prepared to hear Jason’s amused words through the comms, but surprisingly, his brother stayed quiet.
“Are you concerned about my safety?” The girl narrowed her eyes.
He straightened his back and cleared his mind.
“Actually, I’m here to arrest the Dark Nomad,” he told her, trying to sound professional. Not as if it mattered anymore.
“Why?”
“Damaging private property, theft, and vandalism.”
“Could you elaborate? Picking flowers in a park could be considered all three of those.” Her voice was mocking now.
Damian stared at her. She was at least a head shorter than him, with no weapons. He was Robin. She was either incredibly dangerous or very stupid, and he had a hard time believing in the first scenario.
“He killed an animal, draw obscene pictures on the street with its blood, did damage that’s repairing will take hundreds of dollars, stole garden interior… should I continue?”
“When did he do all that?” the girl asked. She didn’t seem surprised at all.
“Why would I tell you?” frowned Robin. “I’m here to arrest him, that’s the only important thing.” Harmless or not, she was getting annoying.
“Well, you can’t legally make arrests given that you’re not a police officer, which means that you have absolutely no reason to be here. You might as well go home,” she explained simply. Her voice was toneless again, she spoke as if she was just stating facts, - which she did, after all.
Damian’s blood was starting to boil. Did the psychopaths roaming this city have a right to murder people? No. Did they have any right to hurt civilians? No. Was any of the things they did legal? No.
Who was this kid to come and tell him about rights, when his family seemed to be the only ones protecting them?
The girl was looking at him as if she was staring into his soul, then suddenly, she smirked.
“Not as if that would stop you,” she said, and Robin looked at her quizzically. “But I have a feeling that you’re after the wrong guy, so if you told me when he did all that, it would clear a few things.”
He was lost. What did this girl want? She was too weird to be stupid. She let the railing go now and was standing with her arms at her sides, her head slightly tilted.
“Today, between two and three AM,” he told her finally, curious about her reaction.
She stared right into his eyes, even though his mask was hiding them and said, “He was with me.”
Robin didn’t see anything about her body language betraying her, but she must’ve noticed he didn’t believe her because she continued.
“We were talking about Tamás Vekerdy and Bruno Bettelheim. They’re psychologists who often write about children. He arrived around midnight, and when he left it was already past five in the morning, so there is no way he could’ve done anything unless he has an evil twin.”
He scoffed angrily. When he spoke again, he was hissing the words from behind his clenched teeth.
“These things don’t take long. He might’ve just slipped away for a few minutes and came back, unless of course if you were in the same position for five hours.” He might’ve also growled a little. He was standing only inches from her now, looming over her.
“That’s not too hard to check, your Highness.” She cocked her head and held his gaze fearlessly. “Where did all this happen?”
He was about to bite back but he stopped abruptly.
Okay, so he might’ve been a little wrong. If the girl was telling the truth, the guy should’ve disappeared for at least one and a half hours to get to the scene from here. Not as if that meant anything, she could’ve easily lied. He just didn’t notice it.
A voice saved him from having to answer.
“Marinette? Is everything okay?” The Dark Nomad was walking towards them. When he noticed Robin, a terrified expression took over his confused one. He was about to go and stand between the girl and the vigilante when she lifted her arm to stop him, not moving her gaze away from Robin. The Nomad looked like a caged animal but didn’t try to fight her.
“Lord Annoyance here states that last night, you cloned yourself between The Book of Diaries and NurtureShock, and went to draw booties and steal a bunch of garden gnomes.”
The Nomad opened his mouth to say something but Robin beat him to it.
“Okay, so first of all, it wasn’t just "booties” and they were drawn with blood, which makes it considerably worse.“ Jason, who was listening to everything he said trough the comms the whole time, chose that moment to burst out laughing. He did his best to ignore him.
"Second of all, a lot of things were stolen, not just…” yep, that sentence was a bad idea, “Garden gnomes.”
“Why do you think he did it in the first place?” the girl, - Marinette cut back.
“It was private property. There was a camera.”
“Whose?”
He took a second to consider the possible fallback of the answer. The existence of Bruce Wayne wasn’t a secret. Neither was the fact that he owned multiple buildings around the city. Maybe it was going to scare the villain enough that he confesses.
“Bruce Wayne’s,” he said finally. The girl’s undisturbed expression made him feel uneasy. “Have you heard of him?”
“Oh, you mean that’s who the big ass tower in the middle of the city is named after? I thought it was the ship name of watery rain or way of pain or something.” Her words were dripping from sarcasm.
‘Who are you talking to? What did they say?’ asked Jason like an excited child but Damian once again ignored him.
“Well, I’m sorry, but his alibi is pretty shaky, you know. Villains can be very convincing here, in case you didn’t notice.” He didn’t think this guy could convince anyone, but it was possible.
“Yeah, his ski mask really makes me shake in fear,” Marinette said flatly.
The villain finally got a chance to say something but his moment didn’t last long.
“It’s not a-”
“Yes, it is. Shut up.” Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose. “He is wearing a hoodie and a mask ever since… birth, probably. How did anyone recognize him?”
“He left his signature,” Robin told her. He wasn’t even angry anymore, he was just very annoyed.
Marinette froze. She almost seemed to forget about Robin as she finally broke eye contact and turned around.
“You… have a signature?” she asked the Dark Nomad, who was still standing behind her, ready to jump at any moment.
He opened and closed his mouth a few times. It reminded Robin of a distressed duck.
“Kinda,” he said quietly.
“Why would you do that?” asked Marinette, gesticulating wildly.
“It’s part of the aesthetic, okay?” he explained with a hurt expression.
“Hey, I’m accusing you of a crime here!” reminded them Robin. This was taking way longer than he wanted it to.
Marinette once again turned to him, let out a deep breath and arranged her face into a more professional expression.
Finally.
“Right,” she started seriously. She gave him a second to compose himself, then continued. “Boobs.”
The Dark Nomad snorted, but Marinette just gave him an unimpressed look and let out an exasperated sigh.
“Okay, so tell Mr. Wayne, that he should be looking for another idiot because I was looking after this one at the time.”
Before he could answer, he heard Jason’s voice in his ear.
'There is a robbery going down at Chucko’s. I’m going in.’
Damian cursed quietly.
“Don’t. Wait for me. I’ll be there in two,” he told him, placing his fingers on the comm so the two people standing in front of him knew he wasn’t speaking to them.
“I have to go,” he told them quickly, then took off before they could do as much as blink.
***
Marinette ran after the vigilante but stopped at the edge of the roof. She saw a dark form jumping over rooftops. After a few seconds, it disappeared and relief rushed over her body.
She was way too tired to think about how she just got into an argument with one of Gotham’s heroes.
She closed her eyes and turned to go back to her room. She needed to sleep. A lot.
“You’re kinda terrifying when you’re sleep-deprived, did you know that?” said Jeremy, coming out from behind the metal staircase.
“I always am,” answered Marinette, still not opening her eyes.
“Do you mean terrifying or sleep-deprived?” asked Jeremy confusedly.
Marinette gave him a small wave, then climbed back to the hotel without a word.
________________
*Quiet chanting* comments, comments, comments
*Chanting intensifies* comMEnts, COMments, coMMENTS
*Thunder*
*The flattering of wings and the sounds of scared birds*
*Chanting* COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS, COMMENTS
  Ch. 1    Previous   Masterpost    AO3
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Note
Also, tell us about you're DND character and the plot
I'm not sure if you mean my current character or my backup so I'm gonna talk about both!!!! Putting it under the cut bc there's a lot of stuff 
Aerin is chaotic good, he's a bug guy in general he just large. He's a human fighter who always carried a around a littol mouse named Missy. Her original name was gonna be Pussy because according to Aerin logic "it's a cat name and she's a mouse haha it's funny and ironic" but there's a kid in this campaign so I can't. 
Anyway when he was a kid, he got into a fight with his parents and ran away for a bit before turning around and coming back to the house. But when he got back, his house was in fire. The building was collapsing on itself and all he managed to save from the wreck was a baby mouse. And then he ran off with the mouse into the forest, never to go back to the town again. He spends the next fifteen years living in a cabin in the forest. 
Missy is extremely smart. She's neutral good and also a wizard. However, she can only cast easy spells and they do far less damage. She learned magic when she lived in the house with her family. She and her brothers spied in the humans who were teaching magic to others and learned a bit themselves somehow. As mice they are very limited in what they can do but for some odd reason unknown to us they can still do some. 
My other character is Ivant. He's lawful evil and has an ever growing hatred for Aerin. He watched his older brother save a mouse from the fire. Ivant was trapped under a chunk of roof that was on fire. He kept shouting for his brother to save him, but he saw Aerin look his direction and run away without so much as a second glance. He firmly believes that his older brother, who had had looked up to all his life, abandoned him and left him to die. He survived the fire but is now covered with burn scars and wears a mask to hide his face. 
Anyway one day he hears that his brother is alive and well. He overhears that his brother is with a team of people fighting ircs and Aerin used hand axes like scissors and chopped off 18 orcs' heads within a minute. He hates that suddenly his brother is being treated like a hero. So he decides to go see for himself if his brother is as good as he seems. 
Now you see, Ivant can only enter the campaign if Aerin dies. So when Ivant tracks down the team, he finds them mourning the loss of Aerin. He asks what happened and they describe how he had died. He tries to make himself feel bad, but he can only feel a small spark of satisfaction. He decides to join their group and gain their trust in order to reveal the truth to them later. 
I haven't fully churned out the story and it'll probably change quite a bit. Although there is an interesting connection between Aerin and Missy. 
If Missy were to die, my character would slowly turn into chaotic evil. This would happen in a few stages: he wukd go through all stages of grief minus acceptance. He then would lose all emotions as he mourns the lost of his best friend. And slowly, he will start to detest his team members. Whatever type of creature killed Missy becomes his victim as he starts a genocide of  that species. He will track down each member of that species and slaughter as many as he can before he takes his own life or his past teammates kill him. 
You may be wondering, why all this for a mouse? You see, this mouse was his only friend for 15 years. He rarely went into the village and never interacted with humans. He speaks to this mouse as if she is human. He taught her some basic communication and they kept each other company for most of his life. They were very close as a result and considering he left the house when he was ten, he didn't learn how to control himself very well and his mental state suffered. Thus, he basically goes insane if his mouse dies. 
This probably sucks but here they are!!! I'll probably draw them all at some point. I don't know how good this sort of story is compared to others but I'm fairly new to dnd so please don't roast me ^^' 
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Tell me about your OC's! — @i-kill-my-darlings
@i-kill-my-darlings Ohhhh boy you know exactly how to get me talking. I’ll be doing official introduction posts in the future, but this will work for now *cracks knuckles*
First and foremost, I have so many AUs that I can’t even choose what is canon anymore. Bear with me. Now, on to my first brainchild Charlie.
Full name: Charleston Grant Darling, prefers to be called Charles or Charlie
Height: 5’10”
Ethnicity: Austrian, Russian, Arabic
Gender ID: Male, He/Him
Appearance: Wide, strong shoulders; oak brown hair; widow’s peak hairline; medium-small roman nose; intense, darkest blue eyes (often mistaken for black); average cheekbones; strong jaw; thick eyebrows; close-shaven beard; DIY star tattoo on wrist from teen years, scar on collarbone; muscly boi™
Role: Everyone’s impulse control, sharpshooter, tank, human shield & wounded transport
Traits at first glance: terse, observant, standoff-ish, skeptical, talks to get the point across
Traits after earning his trust: curious, devoted, mildly humorous, values his personal space, bad with words, hard-working
Likes: jokes, thunderstorms, reading, traveling, camping, music, and foggy mornings
Dislikes: wet socks, flowers indoors, excessive heat, gambling, doctors, sitting still, coffee, and kids he says
Fears: Who says you get to know?
Weaknesses: deep water, he sinks very easily; ankles - they snag on things when he’s not paying attention; authoritative figures, climbing, when friends or significant other is threatened, flirting? flirting.
Listen, this boy just wants to be left alone with his hunting gear. All he desires is the hermit life. Trophy hunter? Check. Hired help for animals that are getting out of hand? Check. Unexpectedly and unofficially adopted as team sharpshooter? He’s convinced this is because they all suck at target practice.
He’s a horrible conversationalist unless drunk - then you can never get him to shut up.
He really wants to publish a book some day, but he’s too harsh of a judge and scraps almost everything he writes. Nobody knows he writes.
DAD FRIEND
If you ever get close enough, he smells like honey, cinnamon, and leather
*slaps roof* this bad boy can fit so much self-doubt and angst
He either overthinks to the last detail or jumps on something without considering anything - and there is no in between.
He’s the best out of the team at that soft “Hey...” when reassuring or comforting.
He does not do doctors. Bad experience with them as a kid. He will do every herbal remedy possible before being dragged to a hospital bc he put it off for so long.
“For my next trick I will disappear without an explanation”
After a scare or a fright, he sneezes.
In some AUs, an ex-soldier.
Next up: Beatrice!
Full name: Beatrice Anne Vitale, nicknames include Bea, Bess, & Bumble-Bee
Height: 5’4”
Ethnicity: Swedish, Native American, other ethnicities unknown
Gender ID: Female, She/Her
Appearance: pear-shaped, plump but strong; small shoulders; wispy, curly/wavy chestnut brown hair that’s cut to just above her shoulders; beauty marks (notably, one below her left eye & one on her neck); her eyes are bright, hazel with flecks of gray; dark-but-neat eyebrows; slightly prominent cheekbones; small chin; button nose; heart-shaped lips that are naturally pink; burn scar on right wrist and large birthmark covering her left thigh.
Role: Healer, slaps others when they need a slapping and apologizes directly afterwards, sneak/stealth ninja
Traits at first glance: quiet, painfully polite, passive, timid
Traits after getting to know her: cheery, energetic, relatively talkative, stubborn af
Likes: lilies, lavender, quiet, strawberries, pumpkin-flavored foods, making her own decisions, snow, autumn, she loves cows, chilly weather, dancing
Dislikes: being told what to do, drunk people, strange bugs, sweating, being rude, being underestimated, talking to others in front of her family, being laughed at, small talk, when people cry, unnecessary drama, obligations, and being called “cute”
Fears: not fulfilling her goals, loud noises, crowded places, frogs, having children/being pregnant, and being rejected
Weaknesses: cannot flirt to save her life, terrible liar, combat, public speaking, confrontation, gullible
Her parents are ridiculously overbearing. She just wants to make her own decisions - routine is nice, but not for your entire life.
When she’s nervous she fidgets with her hair or tugs on her earlobes
She smells of lavender and ink
When she’s excited about something, her words tend to run together and gradually increase in volume.
Even though she’s terrible in combat and fights in general, she keeps a surprisingly level head and doesn’t panic.
If you make her angry enough she’ll give you the silent treatment - usually after a good shouting row first
Just like Charlie, she’s clueless with flirting. If you’re nice to her, she assumes that you want to be friends and goes along with it. She’ll only get the hint if you actually kiss her or tell her outright. Too bad Gideon can’t work up the balls.
Speaking of which: Gideon!
Full name: Gideon Faye Miles
Height: 6’2”
Ethnicity: Scottish, Spanish, & Portuguese
Gender ID: Male, He/Him
Appearance: Average build; ashen blond/red hair tied back in a pony tail; hazy brown eyes w/ a patch of sky blue under his left iris; freckles all over; his face is narrow but attractive; average cheekbones; sharp chin; a soul patch
Role: the one that plows in headfirst and does rash things without consulting everyone else first - wannabe leader, but let’s be real here this team is a collective effort
Traits at first glance: annoying, full of himself, lucky, debonair, airy, stuck up
Traits after you get to know him: inventive, fair, lively, organized, committed
Likes: finding ways to make others smile, babies!!!, cherries, meteorology, sailing, messes (so he can clean them), cleaning, braiding everyones’ hair
Dislikes: harsh winds, unloyal spouses/dating partners, bad/cheap shoes that make his feet ache, hammocks, wind chimes, tedious tasks (Beatrice gets him to detangle her yarn as punishment), mushrooms
Fears: tiny spaces/crawlspaces, skunks, getting sick, making a decision/mistake that wrecks everything/puts his team in danger, freezing to death
Weaknesses: randomly zones out when being spoken to/doesn’t listen, the team is positive that his cause of death will be competitiveness, he’s horrible at adapting to last minute changes
He smells clean. Like freshly watered plants and sudsy soap.
He has the unfortunate habit of forgetting his drink is full and ends up soaking himself. The team buys him a sippy cup as a joke but he secretly loves it and uses it all the time.
He is the epitome of a guy being perfectly at peace with his feminine side and still feeling masculine/comfortable af.
Shaming? What’s that?
He’s always wearing his brown leather coat (appearance varies in AUs, but he always has it regardless)
He takes it as a personal challenge to sit in chairs in any way but the normal way. His favorite pose is the lounging monarch.
He cannot write well in print, but his cursive is lovely.
Loves being lazy and brags about his inability to get fat.
This boy will puppy-eye beg any girl he meets to give him the same killer manicure they have.
“Look! Twinsies!”
He would absolutely jump on the latest tiktok trend of swapping clothes with the girls and so help him he will summon a demon to get Charlie to do it with him
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rapperkookz · 5 years
Text
ironman!namjoon
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a/n wow ok so this is the start of my avengers!bts headcanons and yuh they all have set in stone story lines but im gonna shake it up a lil bit xD
word count: 2.3k
____________________
kim namjoon
you see
the kim namjoon is a smart kid
child genius if i say so myself
and boy he knew it
no eleven year old chooses to write a paper about hubble’s law of cosmic expansion for a science project instead of making a trifold and using liquid cement
no, namjoon writes a 4-page paper in apa style with a magnificent abstract
he got an A on it of course
his brilliance only goes up from there
and with his rich parents, he has the opportunity-
to which yoongi and seokjin would say “privilege”
but let’s just say “opportunity”
to do incredible research and studies and experiments
his dad has a science lab built just for him in their house
by nineteen, namjoon has taken over a good percentage of his parents’ business
kim enterprises
growing up, namjoon had an idea that his parents’ business was pretty expansive and were involved in many areas
but it wasn’t until he was placed in board meetings at eighteen when he absorbed how powerful his family really was
and sure the business aspect of him was aight, but he loved his lab and would rather leave the negotiating to his mom and dad
you grew up with namjoon, you were also from a wealthy family
your fathers were childhood friends and they grew their businesses together
although kim enterprises surpassed your family’s wealth easily, the bond between your families were still tight
namjoon was stubborn and a smartass
but he wasn’t a jerk, just...very selective with his true self
he’s also a bit spoiled, but with his parents who gave into his every wish, it just turned out that way
at 21, namjoon’s parents got into a plane crash on the way to a meeting in london and it unfortunately claimed their lives
namjoon became the sole CEO and heir of kim enterprises
he asked you for help because damn he couldn’t run a whole business by himself??
and you weren’t needed yet to run your own family business
so you didn’t mind helping out your friend
things were running okay with little kinks in the road, but the business was still thriving and so namjoon was okay with that
until one day when you and namjoon were hanging out in his family mansion and it was broken into
in a crazy haze, you were captured and abducted
namjoon knew they were after him and not you and for the first time in his life:
he had absolutely no idea what to do
he had to find you of course but he didn’t know where to start
namjoon couldn’t tell your parents because they would absolutely kill him for not protecting you
and honestly he wanted to beat himself up too for that fact
thanks to his brilliant mind, he managed to track wherever the fuck you were being held captive
he took his private jet out to a nearby place and did the rest by foot
this was basically a suicide mission and he knew it, but to hell with it
namjoon would exchange his life for yours, you’ve been with him since birth
back to you
you were being held in a cell
your captors needed namjoon to build something for them, but since you weren’t him, you were useless to them
you thought they were going to kill you
but instead they just locked you up
you didn’t expect to see namjoon being pushed into your cell with you
“joon what the fuck are you doing here?”
“I uh...I found you.”
you thought he would have told your dad and then like officers would come and find you
not namjoon, alone.
“did you expect to just walk in and sweet talk them into letting me go?”
he scratched the back of his neck
“for a genius, you’re fucking stupid.”
“okay, truthfully, i thought I could turn myself in and that would convince them to let you go, but i guess they just took both of us haha.”
for weeks you two were held prisoner, your captors taking namjoon in the morning and returning with him at night
you were just stuck in there
but whenever joon came back, he had a new injury to him
your heart hurt whenever you saw him come back, pain all over his face
you would do your best into aiding him, but you didn’t really have much options in the small cell
it was one night when he didn’t come back and your mind automatically assumed that he was dead
you started sobbing in the cell, god you were going crazy
you needed to get out of there
and then when you heard some whimpering and cries of pain, your drive only got bigger bc you knew it was namjoon
you started clanging on the cell and screaming for them to let you go
and then from the corner of your eye, you spotted joon crawling to you, all bloodied up
you gasped spotting the large wound on his chest
but before you could start losing your mind about your best friend was going to die, he calmly started instructing you to build a generator for him
you: joon! I’m not as smart as you, this thing is going to fucking blow up
joon: y/n, calm down and listen to me. you can do this, i believe in you
also joon: connect that wire to the plug...black long thing to red square.
as the hours went on into the night, namjoon sounded weaker and weaker, making you urgent into finishing his little generator
you started holding his hand
“joon, it’s done, okay? it’s done.”
“this is going to hurt like a bitch, but put that generator in my wound. and shove my shirt in my mouth, shut me up with it or we’ll get caught.”
“w-what?”
“just do it y/n!”
you shoved the triangle thing you made (with his help) into his chest and shut your eyes as you basically gagged joon quiet
within minutes he started to get better and you felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders
the last thing you remember before crashing was joon saying “thank you, y/n, now go rest.”
you were awaken by a huge bang
lo and behold, namjoon’s in a tin suit and he blasted your cell open
you could barely register namjoon breaking the roof of your cell and grasping you by the waist and flying you out of there
his tin suit failed him within minutes, the thrusters he built at his feet giving in
but the important thing was that you two made it out and crashlanded in a lake
the place where you were held captive burst into flames
you were founded by your father’s men
(he had some great influence in the army)
and fuck you and joon suffered from one hell of a ptsd
for a while, joon became distant
i mean, could you blame him? y’all got kidnapped and almost died
you tried to reach out but his house security kept denying you
cute side note: namjoon’s jarvis is called moni
“god dammit moni, i just wanna talk to him”
“my apologies miss/sir y/n, master kim doesn’t want any visitors at the moment.”
:(
the next time joon talked to you was months after you two were found, he invited you over to his house and his security system led you straight to his lab
you walked in to see your best friend in a golden technological suit, the triangle generator you helped him make glowing on the torso of his suit
“joon, what the fuck are you doing?”
he sat you down and explained how after your whole kidnapping, he realized that he had a gift 
and he could either be sitting around waiting to be kidnapped again for his mind to be used for the worst
or he could be doing something for the greater good
you honestly couldn’t follow, couldn’t he just use his wealth to donate to charities or something?
but no, he wanted to be proactive and idk be some kind of superhero
“why are you telling me all this?”
“well, not only are you my best friend and we have suffered through hell together...if I happen to die out there, I’m leaving you in charge of kim enterprises.”
“huh die out where? joon you’re not going back there.”
he then told you how he was forced to build weapons while you were kidnapped and how his parents dealt with underground business with terrible people and now it’s come to bite him and kim enterprises in the ass
“i’m going back. If you want, you can stay here and monitor me. moni has complete access to my suit, it is my eyes and ears.”
“god, just...come back, don’t die on me, please.”
you end up watching him complete whatever mission he had for himself
but also how he got his ass beat
you almost missed a pair of boys save him from where he was
they were quick to the eye, dressed all in black, you just remember one with a bow and arrow
fast forward another couple months
joon was safe, thank god, and just doing insane upgrades on his suit and what not
you called him golden boy, but he said that name just didn’t suit him
you see that pun i put there ;)
the two of you were discussing the art exhibit he needed to attend when moni alerted him of visitors
surprise surprise it was the same two boys that you remember saving him, except they were dressed casually this time
“you must be y/n, namjoon hyung’s better half.”
namjoon glared at the boy, “shut up, jimin.”
the other one spoke, “we need you both to come to headquarters.”
“omg I’m not being kidnapped again, am i?”
the three of them laughed
you were told that jimin and the other boy, taehyung, were agents under BTS, a protection initiative created by their boss, Mr. Bang
and now, namjoon was being recruited to be part of that initiative
BTS is a specialized sub-unit to the larger Avengers motion
it put your mind at ease knowing that namjoon wasn’t alone in his whole fighting crime and saving lives ordeal
the media deemed namjoon’s golden suit as “iron man”
and although you personally liked your “golden boy” name better
joon had a complete liking to the other name
you witnessed when they recruited more agents to BTS
namjoon began to have a nice bond with the other boys
and it made you happy, of course, knowing that he had others by his side
but sometimes you couldn’t help but feel as if you were being replaced as his best friend
especially when he and the wakandan king, jung hoseok, became rather close
namjoon first realized his feelings for you when kim seokjin, aka the god of thunder, was flirting with you during one of joon’s house parties
he almost had a fist fight with him
but the other boys held them back from beating each other up
a supersuit vs a god with insane powers? that wasn’t going to end well at all
and so namjoon secretly pined for you
you were still doing business together, but it was mostly you because he was busy now with world saving duties
you were the one to convince him to recruit their youngest and final member to BTS
the spider kid, jeon jungkook
namjoon becomes jungkook’s mentor
and it’s quite endearing
but jk’s also the one to spill to you that namjoon has had the hugest crush on you for the longest time
kid just can’t keep his mouth shut sometimes
all the boys knew that namjoon was basically in love with you
they even helped him come up with this elaborate event of confessing to you
...which all went to hell bc yoongi got triggered and smashed everything
yoongi felt so bad afterwards
but all ended well bc of course you loved namjoon back
he was your best friend and your #1 since day 1
namjoon ends up revealing himself as iron man probably a year after the whole BTS unit was solidified
the press was hell for kim enterprises
which you had to mainly contain :/
but you know he’s a charmer in front of the camera
your parents were a bit iffy when they found out you were dating iron man
but if anyone could take care of you, they knew it would be namjoon
aw im emo
dating your best friend/business partner is a rollercoaster
you’ve had your fair share of heart attack moments, waiting for him after a battle or a mission
namjoon has put his life in danger and will continue to put his life in danger and you’re just going to have to deal with that
he hates that he also puts your life in danger just by association, but you have a lot of protection, courtesy of Mr. Bang
you wear his suit sometimes and try to fly it for fun
he finds you cute
builds you a suit, yourself, but you don’t wear it often
mostly bc you know there’s some weapons included for safety and that scares you a bit
you end up merging businesses with kim enterprises
and run the whole rodeo bc he’s too busy saving the world
but you always keep him updated on what’s happening
he’s become less arrogant after being with the boys and after dating you
but he’s still a smartass
uses kim enterprises’ wealth and resources for the improvement of BTS
it’s pretty useful if you ask me
namjoon becomes the spokesperson for BTS ;)
he and his boys save the world on the regular
but he wouldn’t be saving the world if you didn’t save his world first
u fucking wu
that last part was cheesy but am i sorry about it?
nah
7-6-19
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heywritersblock · 5 years
Text
generation why: g.d
a high school/best friend grayson au (bc who doesn’t want best friend!gray)
~2500 words
get in your car and laugh til we both turn blue
the day has been long and exhausting; between lesson after lesson with no free period and spending your break times in the library studying, your brain feels just about ready to combust.
you squint your eyes and bring your hand that’s not carrying your folders up to shield them against the bright sun as you finally step out of the school doors. you’d stopped a little later to get the last bit of homework done so the parking lot was much emptier than earlier.
you begin to make your way to the bus stop as your phone starts to ring in your bag. hurriedly slamming your folders onto the hip height wall next to the path and rummaging through your school backpack, you grab your phone and shove it in between your ear and shoulder, not bothering to check who’s calling.
“excuse me, ma’am. i’m gonna need you to stop right there and drop those folders. i’m afraid it’s a crime for a young hooligan like yourself to be carrying something that could easily be used as a weapon,” the voice in your ear says.
“grayson? what the hell? i’m kind of in a rush so whatever it is that you-” you start and then are soon interrupted.
“no ma’am, i don’t know who this grayson is that you speak of but he sounds like a handsome young man. in fact, this is a senior police detective trying to protect our community. that denim dress you’re wearing with the white sneakers is giving me the vibes of a delinquent who’s on her way to cause some havoc. as a law abiding citizen, i order you to stop and face the black truck in the parking lot.”
realization dawns on you as you turn to you right and see your best friend leaning against his black truck, one hand holding his phone to his ear and the other waving at you. rolling your eyes fondly, you quickly hang up your phone and keep it in your hand as you make your way over to where he’s waving you over. he’s grinning at you as you approach.
“hey shortstuff, haven’t seen you all day. you left me all alone. i was like a little orphaned lion cub just not knowing what to do with myse-“
“gray, you were literally with ethan all day. i wouldn’t call yourself an abandoned baby lion just yet,” you interrupt, a small smile on your lips.
“ok, point taken. where’ve you been though? i texted you a couple of times but you didn’t reply. are you good?” he asks genuinely.
you nod, smile growing at his concern. “yeah, just had a busy day. y’know, just homework and stuff kicking my ass. spent most of my day in the library if i wasn’t in class,” you explain, still clutching your heavy folders and moving them to your other arm being careful not to drop your phone. “ahh i see. that explains why your shoulders are so tense they’re almost up to your ears,” he says as he grabs the folders off you, ignoring your protests that you could carry them yourself.
he continues, not letting you get a word in edgeways, “god i can smell the boring on you. that’s what happens when you spend all day in the library. yeah, i can smell boring and books and…” he dramatically sniffs around you, “ahh yes. ms. garfield’s cheese and onion sandwich. gross! ok, get in. we’ll go get coffee and you can forget about what sounds like my idea of the shittiest day to ever exist.”
he slides your backpack off your shoulders and shoos your hands away as you try to grab it back. “in!” he sing songs at you as he makes his way around to the driver’s side, throwing your backpack and folders into the backseat with a little less care than you would like.
the mere presence of your best friend means that your crappy mood starts to lift and by the time you’re hitting the highway en route to grayson’s favourite coffee shop, you’re relaxing back into your seat listening to his ranting about his science teacher’s shitty attitude towards him and ethan.
“yeah, ok gray. now tell me about what you and E did to cause the shitty attitude,” you laugh.
“what? i’m offended! we’re well behaved, role model stu-- ok. well, so, it all started when…”
by the time gray’s exited the highway and you’re pulling into the coffee shop parking lot, your stomach is aching and your cheeks are screaming with laughter at the tale your best friend is telling about his and ethan’s escapades in their science experiment. gray physically can’t look at you until he puts  the car into park because when he sees you crying with laughter, he laughs so hard he starts to wheeze.
as your laughter finally begins to die down, you’re leaning forward and wiping at your eyes with your edge of your denim dress when you hear him ask, “how’re you feeling?”
he flashes his kilowatt grin at you after you reply, “much better already.”
“s’my secret talent. I know just how to cheer you up,” he says smugly.
“y’know gray. i think you might be right,” you smile before hopping out of the truck.
this town don't got much to do you and i haven't got much to lose do you wanna rock in your room like we always do?
“y/n! grayson’s here! again! it’s almost like he doesn’t have a home of his own to go to,” your dad yells up the stairs to you, adding on the last part for comedic effect. “nah, sir - of course i do. unfortunately though, mine has a demon who looks just like me that’s out for revenge. your house is more of a safe haven. thanks for protecting such a  young and helpless child!” you hear grayson reply as he’s climbing the stairs. your dad laughs and adds on a quick, “yeah, yeah. door stays open!” out of habit. “yes sir!” gray replies as he steps into your room and shuts your door until just before it clicks. you huff out a laugh from your desk chair as you watch him and he turns to shrug at you, “he never says how open it should stay, right?” you guffaw out a laugh as gray throws himself onto your bed and rests on his back. “hey, so. question for you,” he asks as he rolls his head to face you. “shoot,” you reply, rolling closer on your desk chair so you can rest your feet on the bed like a foot stool. “why is our town so fuckin’ boring?” “ahhh, the age old question. well, young grasshopper, it’s simply because we are far too much fun for this town. every town would probably pale in comparison to us. we would make even the funnest of towns appear boring. it’s just one of the prices to pay for being a bundle of fun, which, together, we are,” you explain sarcastically. gray’s bark of a laugh escapes his mouth and he slaps a hand over it, seemingly shocked at just how loud it was. you prod him with your toe as you giggle and watch him try to regain his composure. he grabs a hold of your foot gently and shakes it from side to side for a moment as he contemplates what you’ve said, before replying, “well fuck. we’re screwed then. our lives will be filled with boredom. gee, i’m so glad i came to see you,” he jokes. “we’ll only be bored if we’re together remember. together, we’re a bundle of fun. separately? we ain’t shit, gray,” you giggle, wiggling your toes that are still in his grip. “well, we’d better find something to keep us entertained then ‘cause i’m not planning on leaving you any time soon,” he says as he grabs further up your leg to pull you closer on your wheely chair and then pull you onto the bed at the side of him. your heart swells at how much love your best friend gives you and then you giggle when his koala arms and legs restrict you movement completely. “see what’s new on netflix?” you ask quietly and then elbow him fondly in the ribs to get him off you when he nods. he sits up and starts plumping your pillows behind him to get comfortable, explaining just why ethan’s out for revenge and then trying to convince you to go downstairs and grab some popcorn. ten minutes later, he’s heading back up the stairs having made the microwave popcorn and sliding under the blanket you’ve stretched over the bed with a mouthful of the snack. “screw our shitty town. i love it here,” he mumbles just as he rests his head on your shoulder and you press play.
parents think, we're fast asleep but as soon as we're home, we're sneaking out the window
your phone lights up as you scroll aimlessly through social media on your laptop. the night is dark and there’s a slight breeze that’s interrupted the spell of uncomfortably hot weather in your town. gray 23:48 here x you glance quickly out of your bedroom window and grab your backpack, hesitating about whether you should grab the hoodie lying at the end of your bed or not. deciding against it, you carefully but not at all gracefully climb out of your window onto the roof of the garage under the window. you slide the window silently shut, careful to make sure you’ll be able to get back in when you get home later. you walk to the edge of the garage roof and throw your backpack down first before lowering yourself onto the trash cans that are positioned perfectly for this. jumping down, dusting off your denim shorts and grabbing your backpack, you run as fast as you can across the lawn and dive into the black truck idling in front of your house. “’sup james bond. that was some serious spy shit i just witnessed,” gray greets you, taking your backpack off you and throwing it into the back seat, just as tradition dictates. “please. he’s got nothing on me. you ok?” you ask, noticing your best friend’s red eyes and dark rings under them. “yeah, yeah, i’m good,” he says, purposely not looking at you. he goes to move the car into drive but you place your hand on his forearm, tugging until he looks at you. “ok, now i’m actually concerned. when have you ever lied to me? what’s going on?” you ask. “just family shit, you know. family battles. can we go somewhere to talk? i feel like your dad is going to come out here at any point and lynch me and i really don’t wanna be crying when he does that,” he tries to joke. you smile softly to humour him and reply, “of course. let’s go to that diner on the edge of town. it’ll be nice and quiet,” you suggest. he nods, not meeting your eyes again. just before he finally puts the car into drive, he glances at you and mumbles a quiet, “thanks, y/n.” as the car begins to move, you whisper over to him, “hey. whatever it is, it’ll pass. families are the worst sometimes. love you, gray.” “love you, too.”
talk about how fast we grew and all the big dreams that we won't pursue
the summer is in full force now and school’s been out for weeks. you’ve just got back from your family vacation and after a quick nap at home to try and fend off the jet lag, you were straight on over to the dolan house.
you knocked rapidly on the front door and rolled your eyes as Grayson opened the door within seconds, sarcastically asking, “yes? can i help you? i’m just waiting for my best friend to return from the war. i’m not sure i’ll remember what she looks like. oh – wait! y/n? is that you?”
“well you can fuck off if you’re think you’re getting your gift from vacation now!” you laugh.
“y/n! it is you! the sass brought your memory straight back to me! get in here,” he yells, drowning you in his tight hug.
hours later after catching up with the rest of the dolan family and hanging out with the twins for a while, you’re lying on your back in grayson’s backyard, staring up at the star filled sky and listening to the crickets chirping from the forest nearby. grayson’s head is touching yours from where he lays behind you and you can feel the wave of calm you get from being around your best friend. he interrupts your thoughts when he asks you quietly, “hey, do you think in five years time we’ll still be here? like after college and stuff, do you think we’ll still find our way back here?” you hum to let him know you’ve heard him and then you contemplate what he’s just asked. after a couple of minutes, you feel him tilt his head back and try to knock it gently against yours to prompt you for your answer. “honestly, i don’t know,” you say, laughing quietly to yourself at grayson’s dramatic intake of breath. “wow, that hurts y/n. here i am planning our future together and you just crush my dreams in four words. ouch,” he jokes. “for real though, why aren’t you sure?” you sigh in thought and try to explain your thoughts eloquently enough for him to understand. “gray, you’re destined for great things. no, don’t laugh, you are. you’re going to be in LA with E, causing chaos and doing what you love. you’re going to do great things. i mean, so am i but not the same great things as you, y’know. i just feel like we’ll end up in different places. so no, i don’t think we’ll still be here in five years time. but we’ll be somewhere on a summer’s night where we’re laying out and looking at the same sky. hopefully we’ll be in the yard of my million dollar mansion but it’s ok if that’s not in five years. maybe six?” he guffaws in laughter behind you and you feel him start to shuffle around when he’s quietened. you’re still staring up at the sky, feeling content and warm when his body moves beside yours. he knocks gently at your head with his elbow to signal you to lift your head up. he slides his arm underneath your head and pulls you close into his side. time passes silently with the two of you laying on the dewy grass, holding each other close when he pipes up suddenly, “so what exactly do you think i’ll be doing in LA? ‘cause here’s what i’m thinkin’. so, imagine this…”
inspired by generation why by conan gray :)
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