#i say this as an aroace person who used to feel similar but then when i thought on it more i realized it was just the vague wording

[redysetdare]

I keep seeing other Aros say things like "Having a crush sounds like an anxiety attack" and while I get the misunderstanding I need y'all to realize that it's literally just the vagueness of the wording that's making you think this.

Crushes often get described as causing a "racing heart" you know what also is described that way? someone being excited. Someone being overjoyed. and yes, someone feeling anxious.

And the thing is, it's not wrong to assume anxiety because yes - Crushes can cause a bit of anxiety but the reason for the anxiety is different. Someone may be anxious around a crush because they want their crush to like them and don't want to embarrass themselves. It's just the generic anxiety of wanting to be likable to people but instead just being geared towards a specific person.

There's also the fact that a crush, like anxiety, does trigger adrenaline. but so do many things, such as going on a roller coaster. People enjoy roller coasters just fine because of the adrenaline rush and everyone agrees that going on roller coasters aren't anxiety attacks.

Basically what I'm trying to get at here is "this sounds like an anxiety attack" shows a misunderstanding of symptoms and in some cases is willfully ignorant as it shows that you don't wish to learn beyond your own understanding. And this misunderstanding is due to how vague the wording used to describe crushes usually is. It's using words and symptoms that depending on the context can mean different things.

TL;DR Crushes are no more like "anxiety attacks" then getting an adrenaline rush on a roller coaster. It's okay to not understand something but maybe don't call what you don't understand an "anxiety attack"

[notherpuppet]

Do you think there's a right and/or wrong way to handle QPR? I know it's a tricky relationship, but it feels like most/some people kind of just slap the label onto a ship while depicting the ship as just romantic/having no difference with a romantic relationship. (this is why I was a little surprised when you said you do radioapple qpr when it reads a lot more like normal romance). Not meant as an attack or anything on anyone, just genuinely curious more than anything. Again, tricky relationship

So Imma put this link to info at the top of this post: https://taaap.org/2022/07/16/qprs-part-one/

Alright, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's exactly what it is. One small bit of perspective in a mass of many people who experience QPRs in their life and/or are on an aro/ace spectrum. I also have NO QUALIFICATIONS on gender/sexuality theory, so my opinions are shaped by what I've learned and experienced personally. While people may identify with the same term, we are all still individuals with our own experiences. Words can help describe a phenomenon, but it doesn't make everyone who identifies with the word into a monolith.

So I've stated a few times that I navigate shipping Alastor similar to my own experiences as an aroace person. (I guess I'm sharing about myself with this post, but I think that can be helpful to just spreading awareness of an "alternative lifestyle"). So I'm romance-repulsed and sex-repulsed LOL but I'm also "positive" about those things. Like I view romance and sex as lovely, fun experiences people can have, but I've never been into it personally. It's fun for me to consume media about romance/sex, but yknow, it's also fun for me to consume media about violence or isolation. Doesn't mean I want to experience or engage in any of those things lol.

Anyway, I'm a huge people person and I love to party and yknow it seems most people are really wanting to fall in love or fuck or whatever pretty much all the time, but especially at parties hahaha. Normally, I'm pretty touch-averse, but I love dancing so much and it's a blast to dance with a partner (salsa especially!! i don't care for grinding for probably obvious reasons). And to connect the two previous sentences, people (whatever gender they are) would be very kissy-touchy on the dancefloor. Which i honestly dont really give a fuck about hahaha. I don't really get anything out of kissing but I also don't mind it. I just like to dance. It's all a pretty superficial--but still genuinely fun--experience for me.

When it comes to my deeper or more intimate connections, I have had friendships that have felt SO on the line of what was viewed as a romantic relationship. They were exceptional friends and we connected on a level that was deep and true, but it wasn't romantic. Sometimes we'd slow dance, sometimes we kissed, and it rocked. But it wasn't more than that, it was all that it needed to be. I didn't want more and neither did they (except one situation and so we had to stop being friends lol whoops). From the outside, people would even refer to us as partners in a half joking way, but we really were just friends. And I love those friends!! And a huge part of what made those relationships (which at the time were described as 'situationships' because we didn't know any of these terms haha) was their convenience. We either lived in the same building, worked together, or were neighbors LOL. I'm still friends with those absolutely lovely folks, but we don't live around each other, so our QPR just appears a lot more like any ole regular friendship. But it's not like there was a feeling that we transitioned into something different than before. It twas what it twas! (Had to take a pause while I was typing to reminisce fondly for a second, okay back to hazbin hahaha)

SO, whenever someone asks or it comes up, MOST OF THE TIME I do ship alastor through an aroace lens and experience with QPRs (specifically, MINEE because they were fun and I've never felt like doing this before I met a character like Al). And my XP is: "this isn't gonna be a partnership and we ain't fucking" LMFAO. so yeah!

When it comes to using a queer term like QPR, I just hope folks are considerate in their writing, but I also am inclined to just believe them if they say that's their intention because QPRs can look very different. Again, aroace and ace folks are not a monolith. The terms help to describe a human's experience. I'm inclined to think people are writing in good faith.

And all this being said, I want to just emphasize that I really don't think it's necessary to consider any of this shit if you want to ship a fictional character. I understand wanting to be protective of a character who shares an identifier with you (I personally don't wanna see romance/sex with Al in canon). But shipping is a fun thing a fandom does that often does ignore canon. Tale as old as time. I don't think anyone needs to be beholden to canon when they're writing fanfiction or having fun. If we did, I would have like--5 artworks on this blog hahaha. These characters are like dollies, do whatever you want. It's cool if people don't like it and I think it's cool if people do. It's just not that serious. There are ships I'm not particularly into or dynamics that I am not enchanted by, but whatever. I can just scroll or close my eyes.

TLDR; shipping in fandom doesn't need to be taken seriously at ALL. It can just be fun way for someone to play with fictional characters they like. That being said, I think it's good practice to use queer terms thoughtfully.

[antimony-medusa]

This is verging on discourse, but I have to say, as someone aroace with the emphasis on the aro, it's a trifle disheartening to ever try to look for queerplatonic relationships that look like mine within this fandom. QPRs can cover a broad spectrum of experiences, and it always seems that within MCYT what a QPR looks like has calcified into this one depiction that is very close (but not actually crossing the line) to shipping, just without kissing or sex! With emotional connections that are very similar (but not quite) to romance, hitting many of the same beats. And that just doesn't reflect my experience at all. Personally, I have more fun reading about straight ahead romance than a qpr that hits almost all the same notes, but just doesn't quite go there, that never digs into an aro or ace experience that I recognize, and that is always what I seem to find when I go cruising the tags.

For one thing, QPRs are not just an ace thing, and they definitely don't have to be a sexless thing! You can be aroallo and in a QPR and have sex, or you can be ace and in a QPR and have sex for the sake of your partner, or just for fun! Sex is fun for a lot of ace people, including those in QPRs, and using QPR eternally to mean "sexless" cuts off a large swath of the population that DOES have sex, for whatever reason. And there are tons of ace people who are extremely fine with kissing, including people who are sex adverse, so using a QPR are a shorthand to mean "sexless and also kissless" is only depicting a very narrow slice of the experience.

And QPRs in practice often look very different from romance, including with people who are romance-adverse, and who don't want any of the trappings that normally come with romance (marriage, specific terms like "love" or "darling", metaphors or positioning like "half of my heart" or "soulmate"), and I just never get to see that. A QPR can be two people who sleep in seperate rooms co-parenting a kid! (Or more than two people!) A QPR can be people married together and sharing a bed and holding hands at the movies and calling each other "darling", or it can be people who signed legal paperwork together who call each other "bro", and those are BOTH valid QPRs. But I only ever get to see the one that looks so close to romance that it's alienating to me, while people tell me that I should be happy to be depicted. (I'm not depicted.)

And I'm also frustrated because I have read QPRs that are sharing all the same hallmarks-of-romance-but-no-sex that I would theoretically have a problem with, but they also ring as true to me because people actually talk about what the relationship is and isn't to them, and I go Yes! Not me but I am on a similar wavelength! But so many people just go "QPR" but never unpack the actual ace/aro/aroace experience, so again I'm left with something that is using all the romance and affection tropes that I've come to expect over decades of living in an amonormative society, just slapping a "but it's platonic" on it at the very end. Where's people making assumptions about your relationship that you have to consider whether to correct or not? Where's the inside jokes? Where's the intimacy negotiations and teasing each other about what you want in terms of touch+? Where's the doing life together in a non-romantic way? Where's the epic friendship? Where's the aro experience? (If we're mutuals, you probably write all of these things, and I'm not complaining about you, you're good.)

And it's hard to escape the feeling that at least some of these people are writing QPR because they're afraid of shipping, as I see the tags scroll endlessly by, not because they actually want to depict the a-spec experience.

Some of it is just people not used to writing affection outside of the romance tropes in our society, and some of it is that so many guestures of affection in our society get romance-coded when like, holding hands is not inherently romantic, I know. But sometimes, man, I want to tell people that it's okay to romantically ship, they don't have to keep it platonic, if they're going to write something that is so similar to shipping but has a giant "don't worry, these guys don't fuck" stamped on it.

I don't know, maybe there are even less people like me than I thought. Or maybe the people like me aren't writing fanfiction (lol).

I don't know. QPRs are more varied than they get depicted, and the a-spec experience is special to me and I wish it got written in its diversity. It's frustrating to see only ever one type of QPR, one that is exclusionary to me. I wish I could see the tag and not know exactly what that relationship looked like, or saw something that I felt was strongly influenced by what the characters are, instead of the same sort of sexless romance-lite every time.

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

A rant about Jedi Stans from an ex-Jedi fangirl

After some time I've had to reflect on my own behavior as well as my time in the pro Jedi fandom, I decided it's time to call this shit out. Some people take it really personal if someone criticized your favorite characters or their beliefs. Ironically, you all act more like the Sith than the Jedi with how obsessive you can be and insisting any criticism is equal to wanting genocide.

I'm going to start by saying I was in the pro jedi fandom for a few months. Truth be told, I was using it as an outlet for some of my anger issues with my hate towards Anakin, seeing him as similar to a lot of people I've had to deal with. Some of it was wanting more followers and fear of being disliked by the majority. I would pick fights with Anakin fans and was a bit of an asshole and I apologize for that. I still don't like him but no longer HATE him. Seeing how fandoms treat abuse victims who aren't perfect angels like Shinji Ikari or Lapis Lazuli has caused me to loosen up a bit. Many Jedi stans would probably hate those characters for not being “perfect” victims. In retrospect, this wasn't a good community for me. It was very puritanical and I often felt like I was wrong for enjoying media that went against the beliefs Jedi Stans put on a pedestal. Three of my favorite ships (Madohomu, Reishin and Hodaka x Hina) involve "burning the world for one person" and I felt like I couldn't talk about them without being a hypocrite. That and me agreeing less and less with Luca's beliefs pushed me to leave.

It's fine to enjoy a fictional character and defend them if you feel that they're being unfairly criticized. I've done it myself and have written essays defending my faves. The problem is that Jedi stans don't know when to stop. So many are quick to compare the Jedi to minority religions or marginalized groups as a shield against criticism, not recognizing how insulting that can be. Jewish, asian and aroace people are the ones normally used due to the Jedi beliefs being based off Eastern religions as well as Judaism as well as some aroace people identifying with the Jedi.

One thing I noticed about Jedi stans is their similarities to Jumblr which is full of religious chauvinism reworded to sound progressive. Many of them talk about how the Jedi shouldn't have to change their traditions with the times or to accommodate a few individuals like Anakin or Ahsoka. This can be similar to how a lot of people are quick to defend minority religions from outside criticism based on how they were treated by Christian colonists or missionaries. The problem is that this can veer right into ableist or queerphobic territory. You know who else believe that their religion shouldn't have to change with the times to accommodate people? Conservative Christians who hate being told to be affirming of LGBTQ people. Also, schools and parents/guardians do have a responsibility to accommodate kids with disabilities, mental health issues or trauma, even if it may be inconvenient or force you to bend the rules. Claiming they need to just suck it up is honestly disgusting.

This was all a big reason for why I left this garbage pit of a fandom. While there are some who hate the Jedi because they stan the empire or think people need 50s nuclear families to live fulfilling lives, not everyone does that. Believe it or not, some people have faced abuse and bigotry under Judaism and Buddhism. People can also criticize how Lucas presented their beliefs as some Buddhists think he didn't do a good job. Libsoftiktok is a vile transphobe, an Orthodox Jew and her beliefs are said to be fairly common in her community. Many people of color identify with the clones and dislike how even the nicer Jedi treated them. When Obi Wan told Anakin, "It's okay to have romantic feelings, but you must let them pass," that hits different for queer people who have been told similar things from "polite" homophobes. Some queer people do choose celibacy like Side B christians which is fine as long as they don't treat it as a moral failure to want a relationship. There are many neurodivergent people who don't like the Jedi beliefs as they hit close to home. Lucas may have not intended to come off as ableist but the Jedi did with their beliefs about negative emotions. To some people, platitudes like "just let go" aren't helpful and treating it as bad for not living up to those principles is gross.

I deleted the post, but a while back I made a post asking a popular pro jedi blogger their views on adoption since they claimed Anakin not viewing the Jedi as his "found family" was a moral failure. I found their response to be tone deaf and insulting. I responded in a decent way of course, but felt a bit judged and unhappy for wanting to know my birth mother. Adoptees are another set of people this fandom is insensitive and gross to. The Kenobi series I find insulting for that reason too, having Leia be a foil for Anakin and Obi Wan romanticize his recruitment as a child.

Jedi fans are also shitty to those with religious trauma and who faced abuse. Accusing anyone who criticizes the Jedi of projecting their issues with Christianity while simultaneously talking like conservatives as shown above. Tumblr in general has a weird habit of treating religion as if it’s either conservative evangelicalism, liberal reform Judaism and some vague pagan or eastern spirituality with little nuance. Some Jedi stans really come from a place of privilege. Claiming "they can just leave" is insulting to real religious abuse survivors who were raised with harmful beliefs like creationism or homophobia. I'm no antitheist but treating non christian religion as inherently progressive dismisses a lot of people's experiences.

Let's be real, the writing in this franchise was always a bit sloppy. Lucas's issue was wanting to simultaneously create both a black-and-white morality tale for kids based on the fairy tales and serials he grew up and a deep socio-political commentary about the Vietnam and Iraq wars which required some morally grey themes. Thus, along with his terrible dialogue that made the characters seem unlikable, is why the fandom is so divided over whether he intended people to agree with the prequel Jedi.

To wrap this up, I found the pro jedi fandom to be a terrible experience. It was a mix of faux progressivism mixed with fear of judgement for disagreeing. I ended up editing a post I made, and eventually deleted, comparing Yoda with Garnet from SU because I included a tiny bit of criticism and didn't want to get backlash. As long as it’s not gross or bigoted criticism of your favorite characters isn't the end of the world. People don't have to like George Lucas or his beliefs and put them on a pedestal. I feel like the fandom's worship of George comes in response to OT purists who claimed he "raped their childhoods" but there's fair criticism to be made. Just like how not everyone who criticizes Disney SW or any Disney media in general is an "anti woke" grifter. To the pro jedi fans reading this, here's a suggestion. Just block and ignore people, write an essay if you feel it's important, but don't act like an entitled bully if a blog or even a SW writer disagrees with the Jedi, interprets the story differently or criticizes your favorite characters.

[imitationgame77]

What is Aromanticism???

Here on Tumblr, I see many posts mentioning aroace, aromantic, queer-platonic, etc., and I have been trying to understand, but still find it difficult.

If a person describes self as aromantic (= have no experience of romantic feelings towards others), this is fine. It is subjective definition, so must be respected.

But I don't know what it means when a relationship between two individuals is just described as aromantic, I don't know how to interpret that, unless there are more descriptions.

It is almost like dividing all the fruits into apple and non-apple. We can accept that it is NOT an apple, but then what is it?

Obviously, if we are talking about two individuals who can agree on their interpersonal relationship, that is fine. But when there is not necessarily agreement between the two participating individuals, how do the outsiders know?

Even more so, if these are fictional characters.

An American psychologist Robert Sternberg developed the famous "Triangular Theory of Love" in 1980s, where he characterised love between individuals with 3 factors: Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. When these are combined you get 7 types of love. (Liking, infatuation, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, and non-love).

Generally, passion is interpreted as related to physical/sexual attraction.

So, if you see two individuals who seem to like each other a lot, but remove Passion from the picture, you are left with either "Liking" or "Companionate Love".

Companionate love is great for long-term relationship where the excitement is gone, but trust, caring feeling and understanding are still there. But I feel uncertain about calling ALL the GREAT relationships minus the Passion part as just "companionate". Something feels missing.

Why can we not call that excitement when you get to know someone and you just click? Instant chemistry, and you know that this person is going to be a great friend to you. Sometimes you can get infatuated with your new friend.

Friend or best friend are also good terms, but they don't encapusulate the specialness - some people have lots of best friends. (Or so they say.) Sometimes, there is a sense of exclusivity - resulting in jealousy when a third party comes along.

I wish there is a term to describe a relationship where two individuals care for each other greatly, can understand and accept each other with all the differences and irritating bits about each other, so special and valuable that do not want to lose each other, and gain greatest pleasure in each other's company above everything else.

I think it is possible to have this without sexual or physical attraction, can even have other friends or sexual relationships elsewhere. But this is THE most significant relationship that transcends everything else.

When people see some of these traits, we tend to think of them romantic. Even when we do not expect them to have relationships like lovers do. Because we see chemistry, bond, trust and everything that we desire. Maybe, the same brain areas that process very romantic things respond in a similar way.

I see this in Holmes and Watson (original), Sherlock and John (BBC Sherlock), House and Wilson (House, MD), Myron Bolitar and Win (Harlan Coben's Myron Bolitar series), and recently, Murderbot and ART. (That used to include Aziraphale and Crowley while their passion bit was subtext)

I don't imagine them in sexual or other physically intimate relationships, but the special bond between each of these pairs feels romantic. Because they are so special.

I need a simple word. Not a word meaning "not-something"...

[st-ivangeline]

Aromantic talking

Maybe this is just be but I think something that isn't talked about enough is those of us aros who were searching so hard for someone to be the perfect partner, the love of our lives, the person that amatonormativity told us we needed that we end up in abusive relationships. I've never had a romantic relationship where we knew each other for more than a month at maximum. I've talked about this before about myself, I didn't understand that you had to be attracted to someone for it to be a crush not just enjoying the attention, and I wanted to love someone and be loved so bad that I didn't think about those things which landed me in relationships that were coercive sexually, manipulative, and otherwise toxic (I hate using the word toxic it's overused). All that to say, had I been able to break free from amatonormativity earlier and realized I could love myself more and better single than my desperation for someone to be in love with forever maybe I would've avoided some serious trauma. But I don't want to blame myself too much. We live in a world that tells us we have to have a committed, exclusive, romantic relationship and when I was a kid/teen/early twenties I genuinely bought into this lie. It took so much longer to accept being aro because of not wanting to be alone and wanting a partner. These days I'm nonpartnering, I know I'm nonpartnering partially because I'm the trust issues and trauma I've gathered over the years, but I genuinely am happy single. If I could talk to my younger self I would say that you're not broken for not being attracted to your partners. You're not alone you have your supportive family and friends that love you just as much or more than any romantic partner. And chase the dreams that you feel like you can't have with a partner.

I hope any one else who was in a similar position that I was in feels like they can look back and be kind to their younger selves and start on a healing journey. It's not your fault.

Don't tag ace or aroace

[hxney-lemcn]

The Fall — Connor x gn! demi! reader

summery: Connor asks a personal question which leads to reader explaining their sexual orientation. Which ends up in a confession and fluffiness.

tw: anxiety attack, mentions of being invalidated

a/n: Super self indulgent. I may be aroace but I will live in this fantasy as long as I want.

wc: 1.5k

Master List

I felt frustrated. Oh so frustrated. I typically would spend my spare time reading. No, not reading novels or books like I probably should. It was kind of embarrassing to admit, but yes. I read fanfic. It’s not a crime, okay. But recently, I couldn’t pay attention to it, my mind drifting off to someone else instead. Every time too. I would be reading about my favorite characters and then think about him instead. Which led me to stare at my phone when I had free time and come up with scenarios that would potentially befall us. Not only did it waste my phone battery, but it also makes me look dumb just staring at nothing. 

I found myself in a similar situation at the moment. The t.v. droned on, some video or show, I wasn’t completely sure. I let out a small huff, tossing my phone gently onto my stomach. I turned my gaze to Connor, who happened to already be staring at me. 

Connor invited me out to Hank's house today. Just to hang out. I accepted, deeming that I need to socialize with people more…and maybe because that meant I could hang out with Connor. Hank was off who knows where, telling Sumo to watch over us. Which led us to sit on the couch and watch something. I was curled into one side of the couch, a light blanket keeping me warm.

“May I ask a personal question?” Connor asked, head tilting to the side in that cute puppy-like manner. 

“Shoot,” I replied, putting my full attention on him. 

“Have you ever been in a romantic relationship?” He asked, curious brown eyes boring into me. 

A range of emotions washed over me. Nervousness as to the implications this could mean, but also nervousness to what I was going to have to explain. I’m demiromantic, which meant that I had to get to know a person real well before even thinking about entering a romantic relationship with them. But I never really liked anyone like that for years…until now. 

Which meant that I had little to no experience when it came to dating. And I honestly believed that it would stay that way. Which I didn’t mind, don’t get me wrong. I was content on my own with my pets…but I always wanted something more with someone. To be special to someone. Which led me to reading fanfic. 

“No,” I replied hesitantly. 

Connor’s brows furrowed, a slight frown settled on his lips, “I don’t understand.”

I frowned in confusion as well, “What don’t you get?” His stare moved back to me and it was intense, some feeling I couldn’t put my finger on was swimming through his eyes.

“How someone as amazing as you haven’t found anyone yet,” Connor stated. 

I felt my heart rate accelerate and I tried to hide how flustered that statement made me, but I also knew he could scan me and find out without me even realizing. How could he say something like that so unabashed? He thinks I’m amazing? Does that mean he admires me? God, the thought alone made me feel all warm and fuzzy. 

“It’s…hard to explain,” I shrugged, looking towards the t.v. only to notice it was shut off. Connor stayed silent, eyes pleading for me to continue. I let out a small sigh, ready to fall into the usual spiel, “I’m demiromantic. I need to get to know someone real well before even thinking about anything more than friends, and the people I start to like never really saw me as anything more than a friend so I’ve never dated or anything.”

“How long does it take for you to gain these romantic interests? If I may ask,” Connor asked, his body moving closer in curiosity. 

Once again I just shrugged, trying to not think about how surprisingly quick I found myself falling for the handsome android sitting next to me. It still took longer than what the media portrays, at least a month, but that was quick for me. 

“It depends,” I finally answered. “I haven’t been interested in many people, I could probably count the amount on one hand.” I let out a small chuckle at the thought. “Why do you ask?”

My eyes were drawn to Connor’s led as it spun yellow. It even blinked red for a second and I grew concerned. Did…was he going to invalidate me somehow? Tell me I’m just trying to label myself and that what I felt was normal? It’s happened more than I’d like to think, but I trusted Connor, so if he said anything like that I wasn’t sure what I’d do. 

“I don’t wish to make you uncomfortable,” Connor finally managed to speak out. I moved to sit more upright, scooting closer to him. I gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and he seemed to relax a bit under me, the artificial muscles moving under my hand. 

“I trust you, Connor,” I spoke up. “I know if something comes out wrong you don’t mean it in a bad way.” 

“That’s not,” Connor huffed, shaking his head. My eyes fell onto that small piece of hair on his forehead, but I ignored the urge to push it back into place. His led once again blipped red before settling on yellow. “You produce these feelings inside of me, things I haven’t felt around anyone else. Hank has made some comments…and I believe this feeling is love, or strong attraction at the very least, but with this newfound information…”

Connor’s concerned, fearful look along with all the words he just spoke put my brain in overdrive. What? He…no. No…I…do I like him like that? I mean, yes I’m attracted to him, and yes, the idea of being in a relationship with him makes my heart pound faster. 

I pulled my hand away from him, scooting away slightly. I clenched my fists against my knees, staring down at the carpet floor like it would give me all the answers. I barely recognized his honeyed voice call my name in concern. I didn’t notice how his led settled on a deep red. I was too wrapped up in my own feelings, suddenly overwhelmed by everything. 

Scared, I was scared. Isn’t this what I wanted? Someone to like me? But was I in love with the idea of that? Or did I actually like Connor? I don’t want to start a relationship with the wrong intentions. Connor doesn’t deserve to be hurt. But I really really like him. Yeah, I like him. As a person. I like spending time with him. I like talking with him, I like helping him with his still newfound deviancy. 

Oh god, what if he only liked me because I was the first person to be kind to him? No, no it’s not my place to question his feelings. It’s all new to him as well. This is new to both of us…the thought alone made me relax a bit. I took a deep breath, and then another. Would it hurt to just try out a relationship? It’s Connor after all, and if it doesn’t work I don’t think it’d end too terribly…

With one last deep breath, I opened my eyes, feeling a lot calmer than I did a few seconds ago. I felt guilty as Connor fidgeted with his quarter, led bright red, eyes searching for something in mine. 

“Sorry,” I apologized nervously. “I…just got a bit overwhelmed.” Connor looked scared, he opened his mouth, but closed it. He seemed afraid he’d say something wrong. 

“Like I said, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship,” I explained. “And…I guess I kinda thought I’d never get a chance. So you saying that you…” The word felt heavy as it sat on my tongue. “...are strongly attracted to me…I guess it kinda scared me. I’ve never dealt with this before, and didn’t think I’d have to. Not that it’s bad or anything! Because I like you too, I’m just…scared.”

Connors led spun yellow, processing what I had just said. Finally it settled on a serene blue, his face morphed from fear, to relief, to settling on pure joy.

“I also don’t have experience in this field,” Connor replied. “I was built with a social programme, but it didn’t include anything to do with romantic human relations. I would like to learn with you.” 

Heat simmered through me, heart beating faster and I felt inexplicably happy. So happy, I had no idea what to do with this newfound energy bursting through me. I stared at Connor, his cute freckles, deep brown eyes, perfect eyebrows, full lips, to that damned piece of hair still out of place. It was hard to believe someone who looked so perfect would want to be with me. 

Trying to calm myself from doing something I’d regret, I lifted my hand up and brushed that piece of hair up and into place. Connor closed his eyes, tilting his head closer to my hand. I couldn’t help but marvel at how soft his hair felt. 

Continuing to brush his hair gently, I finally replied, “I wouldn’t want to learn with anyone else.”

Connor opened his eyes, his smile seeming to split at the seams. My heartrate spiked once more as I finally could put a word to the look in his eyes when he looked at me. Love.

[djpachipikachu]

do graves!leosagi ever get tired of their friends/family labelling them?? like maybe leo’s bros make fun of him for having a “boyfriend” and he gets like rightfully irritated by that ?

its Kinda amusing bc eventually leo’s family at least straight up thinks theyre just really good pals and its like wow ! friendship ! in a more oblivious sense like they just kinda shrug and go oh yeah usagi’s here again whatever

originally mikey was insanely insanely suspicious of usagi and what his relationship was with leo (“hes literally just a friend” “YOU MEAN A BOY-FRIEND. AND U NEVER TOLD US.” “what am i supposed 2 say do i update u guys every time i make a friend” “If I See This Fuckinf Rabbit Sleeping In Your Bed Again I’m Telling Dad” “WE WERE HAVING A SLEEPOVER”) (mikey was mainly shocked bc leo invited a friend to sleepover who they didnt know And leo didnt tell anyone there was an extra mouth to feed for brekkie) but once everything was smoothed over usagi just became another regular, similar to how april is

leo himself tells raph that its a little more than that but only raph rly knows it and hes always had a hunch about them so it didnt change much in how the brotjers saw the two

usagi’s family on the other hand is definitely more “Boyfriend? boyfriend? boyfriend? crush? romance?” kitsune teases usagi about how dramatically romantic it must be to fall for a guy he hated in the beginning and usagi is like . so filled with Eugh. This Is Not Romantic. ick feeling that it causes him to be more in denial at how close he’s gotten with leo (in the beginning at least , later on kitsune still teases him but he’s more at ease with how him and leo are, so he always jusy goes “ew no im not kissing him dates r gross” but over time she toned it down to more “ooh is someone missing a certain kappa?” kinda teasing rather than “whens the wedding/has your first kiss happened yet lmao/etc” kinda teasing)

hana calls leo his boyfriend like all the time and like . usagi doesnt rly correct her bc she’s 8 and he doesnt know how to explain that they “arent Really boyfriends sure they do things that couples would do sometimes but its platonic and well you dont rly know what platonic means uh”

so she gets a pass on all her “IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND” comments since usagi is just like “yeagh its leo u wanna say hi”

auntie notices how leo visits a lot and she kinda just is like “okay ur like my kid now. lol.” she thinks they are just best friends bc usagi said they are and who is she to think otherwise, she kinda just absorbs leo (and later on the hamatos) as her own family and doesnt question their relatiomship much

chizu and gen tend to stay out of usagi’s personal business like that But gen did think that leo was a girl for a good while before he was ever introduced to him . and he was like “usagi if you wanna pick up the ladies u need like. do better. than this” “what. What” “like take a shower man” trying to give him flirting/relationship advice without actually knowing leo at all and also assuming usagi is straight

all in all its never really serious if people call them boyfriends or just best friends bc they dont really care to correct anyone it only matters if its like “so did you hit the [insert romantic relationship milestone] phase yet haha” bc that gets tiring to hear constantly

mainly all their family is just like “oh okay” at their relationship since i dont Really want to make the hardships of being aroace or being queer a big point since we already struggle enough with that irl ! a few details here and there about how their unlabelled status confuses some people but generally just a “we’ve seen weirder shit who cares” kinda energy to it

i love rambling . Thank you for the wuestion ily /p

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

ace/aro-spec convexian cannibalism headcanons

this is what it says on the tin!! I'm basing this loosely off of my convexian cannibalism oneshot fic series, where the fics all sort of slot into the same "universe"

CW: discussion of sex, starvation and cannibalism ahead

SO, I think that Cub, Scar, and Grian are all ace/aro-spec (and autistic but that's not so important here) in my au universe. And I find it fun to explain so I am going to do so.

Note: I am aroace-spec, autistic, and polyam and I am projecting hard. No hate please. Don't like, don't read! ^-^

Grian

An asexual who doesn't particularly seek any kind of sex but is down for whatever if the right person (ahem. Scar) comes along

Way more into sensation-seeking than actual sex acts

His Watcher Powers (TM) make it a lot easier for him to handle pain, after the first few minutes of getting cannibalised his mind drifts off and it all becomes more about Feeling than Pain

He's also accidentally hacked his bird instincts to be kind of into the whole 'being perfect prey' thing

But he doesn't like to mix sex and cannibalism, that makes him uncomfortable - roleplaying as prey or whatever is more like a signal of trust and weird intimate comfort

He likes to 'switch off' his overactive and often stressed brain and just act as prey / food for his partners sometimes - it is a very good de-stressing technique

His Watcher instincts enjoy being the one to Do Cannibalism every so often - this is how he feeds (pretty much only on Scar)

He finds the thrill / adrenaline and sensations of The Cannibalism (TM) really fun, and a way to be intimate without sex

He is not aromantic, but he get embarrassed by most romantic acts

However he will say "I love you" to his partners as a response to them saying it... usually he's not the one to say it first

Scar

Both aro and ace-spec

He has to really really get to know someone before he starts 'falling for' them, and hates the idea of sex with someone he isn't very close to

He's known Cub for a long time and they have a Vex Bond (TM)

With Grian, Third Life really sealed the deal for Scar (though he had a bit of a crush for a while) - he would Vex Bond (TM) with Grian if he could

He's very bad at acting on his feelings, so he waits until someone else says something (usually)

He is, however, outwardly flirty and makes (sometimes unintentional) dirty jokes

He enjoys sex but doesn't require it. It's just another fun thing he can do, alongside the cannibalism. They are very similar to him in terms of enjoyment.

He's also a bit of a masochist, willing to go through a lot to make his partners happy (he has been eaten many times) (and it hurts a lot, but he kind of enjoys it)

Despite the masochism, he still respects his partners' discomfort with sex, and can usually channel the pleasure into something non-sexual if they ask. This usually manifests as vex instincts going kind of crazy

When it comes to cannibalism, Scar is a vex and therefore has to eat other players to survive. He used to starve himself until forced to attack and feed, but after Grian offered to help him, he gained a healthier relationship with feeding

His vex nature comes out when feeding, and he especially enjoys inflicting slow deaths (torture makes vex brain go brr) as well as nesting and 'storing' prey (keeping Grian in a nest for a few days before the cannibalism begins)

He's the most eager to say "I love you" and is very outwardly affectionate. He gets excited to show his love since he feels it quite rarely

Cub

Aroace and has sooo much autistic rizz (well. they all do)

He's mostly grossed out by sex and doesn't want it anywhere near him. Though he finds Scar's innuendos very funny and once in a blue moon he will be down for some messing about

It takes a very special kind of person for him to actually 'fall in love' and he doesnt tend to say "I love you" to many people

Most of the time he seems kind of dry and unemotional but on the inside hes got a lot of feelings

Those emotions show when he gets excited ("LETS GOOOOO") but usually even when happy he seems quite neutral

Grian and Scar are his special people, but even then, Cub is rather awkward with affection and finds it hard to understand his own feelings

With Scar, the Vex Bond (TM) is like a QPR, which helps Cub understand things, but after he and Scar began 'hunting' (see: asking nicely to cannibalise) Grian together things got more complicated and he was hit with an unexpected crush

Which was scary and unexpected because Cub never feels that way about anyone aside from Scar

'Vexes hunt in pairs' is a thing - it makes their instincts very happy and strengthens the Vex Bond (TM)

Cannibalism definitely also helps him get his feelings across without having to talk

Scar was a born vex but Cub was human-turned-vex, and Cub was always quite nervous about the cannibalism thing (so was Scar, but he played it off)

To keep him from starving himself, Scar offered to feed Cub, which Cub accepted reluctantly, but after Scar and Grian's arrangement was established in early season 9, Cub was quickly introduced into the fold

Cub wants to say "I love you" to Grian, even though he doesn't say it often at all

^ It must be made clear that he isn't feeling pressured into saying it, he's just very scared of the words and wants to overcome that fear (as he did with Scar) - it feels strange to admit he loves someone, because it happens so rarely and he feels very strongly about his aroace identity. But he has to come to terms with the idea that he can have love for his special people while remaining solidly aroace.

He also likes the feeling of Grian's feathers #autisticking

[styrofauxm]

On aroace flags...

I want to be very clear, I am not criticizing anyone specific, but rather the current ways of combining the asexual and aromantic flags into a cohesive flag.

But I've had this floating around my head for a while, and I saw a post similar to it today, so I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

Cut because it got long.

In the ace flag, black means asexuality, gray means gray/demi sexual, white is for allosexual allies of asexual people, and purple means community. (I lost the link to the AVEN post, but someone dedicated can find it. Otherwise you can just look up the meanings on the internet to verify).

In the aro flag, the green and light green stripes are for the aromantic spectrum, white is for non-romantic attraction, and black and grey are for the sexuality spectrum. (Post by the creator saying this here: https://www.tumblr.com/cameronwhimsy/102698477928/whoops-yeah-i-just-realised-i-never-actually-made?source=share).

So black, grey, and white all mean different things for each flag, yet in most combination flags, they only appear once. Do they mean what they mean on the aromantic flag or what they mean on the asexual flag?

The light green and green don't have any arbitrary separations for people who do and don't feel romantic attraction, and the grey and black of the aro flag don't have that for sexual attraction either, while the asexual flag does. Cutting out one of the green stripes or moving the black and grey away from each other don't make sense in the context of the aromantic flag.

I've also seen some that add an extra purple stripe. It doesn't mean anything, it's just aesthetic.

Whether or not you like the sunset aroace flag, it is a good example to look at when trying to create a flag to represent aroace people. It keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, without using the original colors in ways that don't quite fit. (Color meaning breakdown by the creator here: https://aroaesflags.tumblr.com/post/181034758671/revised-aroace-flag-after-some-conversation-among).

The whole point of having pride flags is to have a meaningful symbol to represent our communities. For aroace people, mashing two together keeps the association with asexuality and aromanticism, but loses the deeper meaning behind each flag.

Honestly, as an aroace person, I think the only way to really design an aroace flag is to depart from the imagery of either flag. That ensures the meanings are solid, and it ensures no one in accidentally excluded (which is, to my understanding, why the sunset flag was created originally - to have a community symbol that included the whole community inherently). But I understand not everyone shares the sentiment.

So, from one aroace person to another, if you are going to design an aroace flag that's based on the ace and aro flags, please keep in mind what those colors mean in the context of each flag, and don't put them in just to have them. And be sure that your design properly includes everyone you are trying to represent.

[ratnix]

As a fan of both the CBS and the BBC version, I'd like to spend a moment and appreciate both of them and talk about some things that I like, enjoy and appreciate about each version and some things that I think one version does better than the other without trying to bring the other down💚

- One thing I appreciate about the BBC version is the non-romantic relationship between the ghosts. As an aroace, it always bugged me how the CBS ghosts fell in love so quickly and it just seemed...forced. Isaac and Nigel have to be the only CBS couple that actually feels like a couple while the rest are just...there. Thor and Flower, sure, maybe I can understand this one too but Trevor and Hetty and Pete and Alberta (not a couple but Pete has a crush on her) are just dumb and pointless. On the other hand, you can feel the platonical relationship between the BBC ghosts -not saying that the CBS ghosts aren't good friends, but the BBC ghosts feel like they've spent an eternity with one another. The BBC ghosts work better as a group while the CBS ghosts work better as individuals

- I really like Jay's relationship with the ghosts. Where Mike is "oh ghosts", Jay is "oh ghosts☺️". Calling them "invisible friends", asking if Hetty's okay after she left his body, proposing that Sam should help Thor with his nightmares. He's literally Pete's bff! Wanting to play D&D with him, both of them making references to things they both enjoy. I mean, Jay's first instinct when he thought he could see ghosts was to hug Pete

- I actually don't have an issue with the CBS version revealing the ghosts' death soon. I mean, it's not even soon. It made sense that Flower would be the first ghost in the first minutes to reveal her death because she's Flower. Even in the BBC version, from the first episodes we can get an idea on how Julian died because of the no pants and and how Fanny died from screaming when falling from the window. Season 3 hasn't come out and we still don't know how Hetty or Sass died -we know that Sass died the day he was going to tell his first story but we don't know how. As for Hetty, I'm thinking it might have to do with overdose given the amount of drugs she took that she didn't know we're harming her. The mystery aspect of their deaths in the UK version ties with the more "haunting" atmosphere of the show whereas the US one is "sunnier", which isn't a bad thing at all! Alberta's death was a mystery and the reveal with Hetty knowing the truth all along was gasp worthy

- It bugs me when people say that the US version is a copy of the UK one because, a)that's... that's what an adaptation is. The Office is an adaptation of the UK office but no one really cares? B) Aside from Pat/Pete's storyline, I can't see any other similar subplots other than their "main" aspect. Hetty and Fanny are the conservative ladies of the house, Sass and Thomas are the artists, Flower and Kitty have bubbly personalities, Robin and Thor are the oldest ghosts who speak broken English. Sure, Trevor and Julian both died without their pants on but both are pretty distinct from each other. Isaac and the Captain are the closeted soldiers but both of their storylines take different paths. All of the characters are different, with different personalities, interests etc. If the US version had carbon copy characters of the UK one, people would, justifiably, call it a copy but even now where the characters are very different they're still calling it one. They compliment and parallel each other without being the same

- The BBC version follows a more "creepy" tone, if that's the correct way of saying it, with a haunted atmosphere and that's cool. The CBS version follows a more sitcom-y tone with a more cheering atmosphere and that's also cool! No need saying one's superior than the other

- I think Crash was kinda pointless? They wanted to make a Humphrey but it didn't really work. He's not even a ghost that's there, unlike Humphrey who had a role and contributed to the story

Feel free to add your own opinions 💚

[cherrytea556]

I notice a trend with people who find aro and aces not belonging to the community because 'their not oppressed' like it's a fucking competition. And how they do that is basically downplay our experiences to just being nothing or something that's not worth mattering. Things such as 'oh your oppressed? What? For your family asking if you date sometimes? That your friends and family may not understand you? Pfft, like that's the same as the r4pe, assault and murder WE experienced!'

Of course, aro and aces face more than that (and even HAVE faced the same things your claiming we don't experience) but that's not the point. The point is, they belittle experiences of aro and ace people without any sense of understanding what it would be/feel like from our perspective. Of course, our loved ones not understanding our orientation is not a big thing to you. But it is to us.

Within my family, love is an expectation, not an option. Many of them express how love is this universal important thing and when I reject that notion by just simply stating that i don't even want to be in one, they dismiss it and tell me that later on, I'll change my mind. It's the same with sex but in a lesser extent (that being it's not as talked about as it is to love) This expectation drives me away from expressing my true self to them, hiding my orientation in fear of their reactions (whether it's not believing in me, claiming that i was brainwashed my the internet, you get the deal) This is combined with the fact that aro and aces are practically invisible in representation (aromantics especially) makes it a rather isolating experience in the closet as most people wouldn't know that people like you exist and with society centering love and sex as this universal thing, how can they believe you? And to anyone who tries to downplay isolation, note this to someone that was very isolated before that; it can truly be a slippery or even miserable experience. It is predominantly so too if your mental health is already declining. Everything remaining in your head with no room to release is very frustrating, I would know, I lived it as my own mental health took a downturn. It's only when i started making friends, people I can talk to without this lingering fear, that i started to get better. And I'm lucky i still have friends who support me and my identity, some people don't even have that at all. Some of them are completely isolated with no one to turn to for support. These people also associate us as being 'too online' but that is majorly because the internet would be the only place to find this support from given free access in expressing ourselves on social media. Why else am I so public about my aroaceness online? But of course, it's not like they'll care. The only reason why they say that shit about us is because they don't bother to understand our experiences/issues we face because it doesn't make sense to them. Like a standard bigoted being, they would rather stay in their bubble and attack rather than venture out to explore our perspectives.

No, I don't care about your orientation, you belittling our experiences is no different from bigots belittling your own experiences. And you know which community also faces isolation from lack of understanding and representation for their identities? That's right, you. The lgb alliance and anyone ace/arophobic in our community. You might as well dismiss your own isolating experiences while your at it.

We have shared similar experiences to you (being in the closet, fear of coming out, lack of representation, lack of understanding etc) and all bigots want us as well as you to be non existent. So why bother trying to gatekeep us out of the community just because we don't follow your personal norms of sexuality? The whole of lgbt is to give people who aren't fit in societal norms a sense of community. We clearly don't fit in society's norms of orientation (that being mono straight cis and allo) so why is this even a debate?

Anyways, aro and aces are part of the community whether you like it or not. Peace.

[shewolf-sinclair]

making this a full post because i’m realizing not enough people understand this (this was something i commented on another post)

Regarding all the information we have on S2’s lack of romantic interests or themes for wednesday, it’s not to say there will never be any romantic elements especially in later seasons. But a lot of people, jenna included, don’t think it makes sense for Wednesday’s character for that to be a main focus right now. People hated the s1 love triangle, and while I see why (i am not referring to shipping wars) it was at least beneficial to the plot. (I say all of this as a multishipper) Wednesday (character and show) isn’t opposed to romance but it’s just not a priority which makes a lot of sense when you do the character work/study. I think to an extent the writers realize this, and the main reason they added it in the first season was plot development, and trying to cater to a gen Z audience. Such attempts made a lot of people, even those of us who love the show dearly, call many parts of it cringe. Because it was gen z culture but not in a natural way. it was over the top and forced. And I think they’re finding the same issue with how they wrote the romacey stuff. so they’re gonna dial it down. it may be added again later, but if so it’ll be laid back. not the forefront and main focus, and it will occur gradually as to be more realistic and representative of our generation which is what they are trying to achieve. You have to keep in mind that while all ages watch the show, it is YA and initially intended for people in and around highschool age. And I love them for making this decision (I say this as a hardcore shipper)

yes wenclair shippers this includes you too (while i personally dislike wenclair this is not a dig at the ship. but y’all need to realize it is equally unrealistic as any other ship rn)

That being said, while the show is trying to add less romance centered themes and plots, I need y’all to have some media literacy. It’s one thing (and perfectly ok) to headcannon wednesday as aroace for whatever reason you like. but please also understand that doesn’t give you the right to force that interpretation on other people. “but look at wednesday she hates everyone no way she could ever love someone/be in a relationship!” I beg you to look at any other Addams family media ever and learn her character. I made a whole post about it here.

However that post never really went in depth enough. It also didn’t mention the addams family musical (my beloved).

Wednesday has a stone cold demeanor but that is strategic. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings. We even witnessed them in the show several times. She felt anger in episode 1 when her brother was bullied. Disgust with her parents. Fear with Rowan. Intrigue as well. We later see exhibits of excitement with Fester and sadness and loneliness with Enid.

So now that we’ve established she actually feels things lets dig deeper. “She’s disgusted by her parents she hates romance!” wrong! She hates watching her parents suck face. no teenager wants to see their parents do that. its gross. She also has a strained relationship with them which makes it worse. We know she doesn’t like things she can’t understand, and in this iteration she hasn’t really experienced romance or romantic attraction before. So she likely doesn’t fully understand it (yet) and this outwardly rejects it. Which is partly why she is so skeptical when Enid gushes about Ajax. However throughout the season as she experiences similar feelings firsthand in regards to Tyler, she becomes less put off by others expressing affection. Though I do standby the idea she likely despises PDA.

She may not explicitly want it but she is in fact capable.

[thalassic-p4rk]

okay okay so some explanation:

kwazii: self explanatory really. it’s kwazii.

shellington: totally hc him as aroace and so oblivious and i love him sm for it

paani: might accidentally flirt or attempt occasionally, but most of the time is so completely oblivious. he’s got sm autistic rizz.

inkling: okay don’t come for me he has a really really nice voice okay?? i’m working through it still 😭😭

peso: okay unpopular opinion probably bc of this one wild 120k fic i read in one go but i totally think peso isn’t as naive and innocent as everyone thinks he is and he totally uses that to his advantage. like, not even with flirting, but in general like with cursing and stuff. but i feel like he’s not as oblivious as he pretends to be, and when he chooses to flirt holy shit this guy can flirt. 10/10 best twink 4ever <3

barnacles: i have. many thoughts about barnacles. but, all i will say is that he is so completely oblivious to how hot everyone thinks he is and he has sm unintentional rizz. he will accidentally flirt with like random people he helps or comes across and he has no idea why they keep swooning and calls peso over cuz he’s concerned and peso just is like *sigh*. also, i know fictives aren’t their sources but our barnacles is pretty damn close and when he first split me and peso spent weeks simping over him before another headmate forced us to sit down and explain this to him (which was one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life btw, fuck u eddie /lh)

dashi: i am a hardcore tweak/dashi shipper all the way, and while i think dashi is a very professional person (dog?), i think she’s also really good with people and knows how to use her skills to get what she wants. i think she totally worked in like customer service or something pre-octonauts and that she would charm her clients and customers almost instinctively. however, flirting for her, while common, is something she doesn’t really view as flirting flirting? like, it’s just something she does to steer the conversation in a more favorable direction. she very rarely actually means it, or genuinely tries to flirt, so that’s why she’s not where kwazii is. she was struggling with tweak though lol.

tweak: i think tweak is similar to dashi, she’s not naive and she certainly is good at flirting and probably did a lot of flirting and uh sleeping around in the past (who doesn’t love a butch lesbian mechanic), but i also think that she just. doesn’t really care. fhjffjjgdg like she likes having fun and stuff but generally outside of her video games and her inventions she does not give a shit about much lmao. not in like, a bad way or anything. she just never really saw the point of a social life yk? and the octonauts are an exception, that’s family it’s different. but she’s always had more important shit to do than playing social games.

anyways thank you for coming to my ted talk i am very eepy.

[veveisveryuncool]

next up in the redeemed villain squad, the bitch ass egg that i used to scream "die" at when i was 8 (i never forgave him for his sins)

headcanon time yee haw

around 20 years old, the youngest in the kumazaki trio (excluding marx), a fact that he both hates and takes advantage of

cannot drive a damn thing. too busy gaming to get a license. this is why the lor has crashed 263827848383 times. do not trust him at the head of the star allies sparkler.

bandana dee HATES him and does not trust him one bit. magolor makes a point to be extra annoying to him.

VERY interested in the Ancients to the point where he dresses like them and tried to base his whole personality off the "ooo magik smart spooky so wise" vibe. he is an overzealous fanboy who cosplays everywhere he goes.

like tell me you don't see the similarities between magolor and hyness's robes. magolor probably found out he was 0.002% Ancient and ran with it (his ears look very similar to hyness's just saying)

game magolor is aroace but won't stop flirting with every living being (manga magolor is a different story)

has offered all his friends part time jobs at his themepark, they are now an unstoppable staff team

idk man something about how taranza is an expert in magic and susie is an expert in technology and how magolor is a perfect blend of both, constantly fluctuating between dramatic and poetic speech patterns and modern lingo. how the themes of their games revolve around the loss of love, family, and friendship for taranza, susie and magolor respectively.

susie and magolor get into petty fights at least once a week. they are either planning to kill each other or gossipping and counting money at any given point.

loooves to make fun of taranza. that's not nice, dude. stop.

lowkey kinda jealous of taranza for being better at magic than him. taranza offers to teach him but he always declines.

this guy is marx's biggest supporter #1 bestie bro before hoe partner in crime, all that jazz

they pull off silly shenanigans together and are banned from most public spaces.

magolor has taught marx everything he knows. their tomfoolery is unmatched.

has a hard time expressing his true feelings, often puts on a facade of overdramatizing his emotions to the point where it seems fake

genuinely does like making new friends, he thought that by obtaining the master crown, he could make a universe where people would have no choice but to like him because he would be the greatest ruler in the galaxy and overcome his crippling loneliness

option B was making a themepark, where he would be the harbinger of fun and joy, creating a space where people could meet and make new friends and hopefully see how fun and friendly magolor was, too

he is overjoyed that kirby considers him a friend after everything and would do anything for him

constantly trying to get on meta knight and dedede's good side

magolor's got outfits for every occasion. a real fashionista, that guy

[redysetdare]

I hate those posts like "this is about aromanticism, don't tag as ace or aroace!" as if aroaces aren't aro enough because of our asexuality, and non-SAM aces relating to aros is somehow a bad thing. Also some of the aroallo accounts are so quick to regurgitate ace discourse talking points because they think aces are erasing and oppressing aros, I hate that so much

Yeah, to an extent I can completely understand where people are coming from when asking this. I have similar issues with people tagging autism posts as ADHD because they show up in my feed because of the ADHD tag even though the post only mentions Autism. It can be frustrating to be looking for posts and get something completely different. But on the other hand...it feels like some people are taking the idea of these tags way too seriously. Tagging is a minimal issue in the grand scheme of things. Tagging does not actually derail a post as much as people act like it does. Tagging a post you reblogged does not make that post show up in the main tags. I understand that AroAllos do not want to have their personal experiences conflated as Asexuality because it can feel like erasure when you write a personal experience about you identity only to have it tagged as something that is not you identity. But also I don't think people realize how much overlap a lot of aromantic and asexual experiences have. Acting like they are so incredibly different and can't have any overlap is willful ignorance at best and malicious separatism at worse. And it's incredibly disheartening as an AroAce to see how many Aro people seem to have gotten comfortable and even feel justified in the low-key bigoted things they've said against aces and aroaces.

Some of the absolutely wild takes I've seen can range from "AroAces shouldn't post in the aromantic tag" to "Don't tag your post as aromantic if it doesn't mention aromanticism [aka doesn't mention an experience in which the viewer deems as an aromantic experience]" to literal straight up acephobia or aroacephobia and it's absolutely wild because as someone who exists in both tags I've seen this happening basically solely in aromantic tags.

It's genuinely wild to me how we even got to this point in the aspec community where people are arguing over tagging to the point of trying to exclude certain aros from the aro tag completely because they feel less seen as compared to others and act like it's the fault of those other aspecs that they are being oppressed.

I was someone who was around when the Aro and Ace communities were mostly a united force. Because when the entire world was against us we at least had each others back. half the problems people mentioned when it came to the reason to split the community so drastically were not problems I ever actually saw. Hell they still aren't problems I see. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen but I personally have not seen anyone assuming or saying that if you're aro you must also be ace, which makes me thing it's not actually as big of an issue as people seem to think it is. the aro and ace communities being united didn't mean that aromantic was a subsection of asexual, though I believe it'd be lying to ignore the split attractions model in the creation of the aromantic identity and how both the Aro and Ace identities as we know them today kind of emerged from that model.

As I said not too long ago: the separation of the aro and ace communities has done more harm than it's done help. We are making it easier for people to target us by splitting up the way we have. By making enemies out of fellow aspec people you give aphobes the space and comfort they need to start pushing us out again.

We are literally in the same boat. if that makes you upset then you can get on your own raft but you can't then demand everyone else get on their own rafts too or try to sink the ship that everyone else is on.

the tag discourse is stupid. there are more pressing issues to be upset about rather than tumblrs shit tagging system. This helps no one. If aroaces posting in the GENERAL AROMANTIC TAG upsets you THAT MUCH then you can literally go into the aroallo tag to find the content you want to see or better yet MAKE THE CONTENT YOU WANT TO SEE. If an asexual tagging a post they relate too with ace bugs you that much then fucking block them. it's not erasure when someone of a different sexuality feels represented by your post. If an aroace tagging a post as aromantic when you feel it is only about asexuality makes you that mad then you can literally block them. You cannot decide how someone should tag their posts because you personally do not know their experience. Grow the fuck up.

I'm rose repulsed. there are barely any spaces and posts about rose repulsed people in the main aspec tags. You want to know what I did? I made my own fucking space. i went to the romance and sex repulsed tags and posted there. I made posts about being repulsed. I have a fucking blog and a discord server centered around repulsed people. Yes it sucks when other people don't make content you like but that's when you have to accept you need to make it your damn self and not throw a fit over tags on tumblr dot com.

apologies for a long rant, If this ask was bait then congrats you got a rant out of me but also I think if people really want to block me over this instead of having a conversation like adults then so be it. Those who think this sort of exclusion is justified and correct are not people i want to be interacting with in the community. they are not people I want following me. I support AroAllos. I support all aromantic people. I understand where they are coming from in their pain. I do agree that they deserve more recognition because they often moralized to be morally bad for their existence and as a repulsed person NO IDENTITY should be viewed as inherently bad. I have no ill will towards AroAllos making posts about ther experience, they deserve to have their experience shared. But the way some people have been acting in the aromantic community is not acceptable and should be called out because at this rate some people are really toeing the line of the ace discourse that happened in like 2016 and as someone who went through that I REALLY don't want to see it repeat itself.