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ilwonuu · 3 days

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if your taking requests, could you write something angsty for jeonghan? I love your writing it’s cute and I think accurate to the person. Keep up the great work 🫶🏽🫶🏽

yes of course hehehehe,,, thank you so much that is so sweet. im so happy you enjoy my work!!! i hope you enjoy this too<3

𝗀𝗈 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒

⇝ 𝗒𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇

❀ 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀－ 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝗐𝖻 𝖻𝖼 𝗒𝗎𝗆<𝟥 ， 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗂𝖽𝗈𝗅！𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆！𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

❀ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌- 𝗉𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝖿𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 （𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾 𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗅𝗅）， 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍， 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗌 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝖺 𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗄，，，𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾， 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗀𝗇𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝖿 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾，，， 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗌 𝖽𝗎𝗆𝖻 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗂 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗂𝗍 𝖻𝖼 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾<𝟥， 𝗉𝖾𝗍 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌 （𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅），（𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗂𝖾）， 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀， 𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾 ！！！！

❀ 𝖺／𝗇- 𝗅𝗆𝗄 𝗂𝖿 𝗎 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝖺 𝗉𝗍 𝟤 𝗁𝖾𝗁𝖾，，， 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗌𝗍 𝗑 𝗃𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗁𝖺𝗇<𝟥 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗈𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽，，，

jeonghan never goes this long without talking to you. the last time you saw him was 2 days agao. it’s weird for best friends. very weird for you and jeonghan. obviously there’s a reason. the reason being you confessing your feelings to him. jeonghan did not like hearing that.

it scared him away definitely, you thought. you feel awful about it. why couldn’t you just have left it alone? kept it to yourself maybe? then maybe you could still have him as a friend at least. but it wasn’t fair to him. you were falling more in love with him.

you thought he was falling in love with you too. and he was. he couldn’t come to terms with knowing that. of course he could tell. he was happy. he couldn’t do it. the last thing he wants is to ruin all these years of being friends with you. he just wants to kiss you and not have it ruin anything. you both know that that’s not how it would go.

he’s scared of committing to you. he wants to be perfect and that’s too much pressure on its own so he pushes you away. for weeks. you were broken. your job was the only thing getting you through the days. your co workers cheer you up as best as they can but all you want is jeonghan.

why can’t he just talk to you about it and stop hiding? putting you through all of this stress just because he can’t talk to you. you have been working less since jeonghan decided to just forget about you. well you hoped he didn’t actually forget about you.

you were exhausted after a shift as your phone rang. it was jeonghan. you shivered in cold sweat as you answered. tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

“i’m outside- please let me in.” you can’t even respond to him. you hang up on him without a response. you hesitate to open the door for him but you really miss him.

maybe he’s coming with good news? if he was coming with good news it wouldn’t have took him 3 weeks.

you still tried to convince yourself that he could want you in the same way. you open your front door nervously. jeonghan looks tired. he doesn’t look like himself. he’s wearing the sweater you got him. you almost cry at the sight.

“can i come in?” you nod at him as he steps in. it’s awkward and it’s never been that way before. he follows you to the couch. both of you are scared of this conversation. both of you want each other. jeonghan just wished you wanted him the same way as him.

“first of all- i’m a fucking asshole. i know you can be upset with me for as long as possible i deserve it. but i’m sorry for treating you like that. i never want to go that long without talking to you again.” you tear up already with a nod. you had so many built up emotions.

“jeonghan- i’m really upset with you yeah. you fucking ghosted me! i thought you were never gonna talk to me again.” he shakes his head.

“never- angel you really thought that?” he grabs your hand, he feels like complete shit. “well what else was i supposed to this jeonghan?” you were crying at this point. he couldn’t believe he made you cry.

he wishes he wasn’t so stupid about his decisions. “i’m so so sorry i didn’t talk to you. i- was scared of the thought of feelings and i still am. i have to be honest with you.” you feel your heart drop when he says those words.

“i c-can’t commit to a relationship. i just can’t-“ you nod quickly at him. why are you doing this to yourself? you know how much you like him. you know he means friends with benefits. you shouldn’t settle less for what you want. but you would do anything to have jeonghan.

“jeonghan?” you stop him with a soft smile. “can i kiss you?” you are basically setting yourself up for failure. jeonghan is just too pretty. he nods at you slowly as he leans over to kiss you. the kiss is so desperate. you can tell how much jeonghan wants you. his lips are sloppy against yours.

“this isn’t a good idea.” he says in between kisses. you don’t respond to him. all you want to do is keep kissing him.

“you’re gonna regret this angel.” you just wish he would stop rubbing it in.

“i just want you hannie-“ you reach for him.

“are you sure?” you beg him practically.

yoon jeonghan was a asshole. he didn’t lie when he said he you would regret it. you wish you never slept with jeonghan. your best friend flirting with another girl at a party.

he knew you were right there and he didn’t care. you wish you didn’t care about jeonghan as much as you do. because clearly he doesn’t care about you.

you can’t hell but to cry over the boy. he comes over to you like nothing happened. you knew you couldn’t talk to him about it again. you couldn’t lose jeonghan. the last thing you wanted was for him to stop talking to you again.

you rather have him treat you this way than to not have him at all. you wish he could see how this affects you.

you really hate yoon jeonghan.

#svt jeonghan #jeonghan x y/n #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan fic #jeonghan seventeen #jeonghan #jeonghan smut #jeonghan angst #seventeen #svt #svt fanfic #svt smut #svt imagines #svt fic #svt scenarios #svt x reader #svt angst #seventeen fics #seventeen fanfic

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bitchb0ybunny · 1 day

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LONG READ, BUT WORTH IT!!!

COD FANS, PRO-PALESTINIAN PALS, LISTEN TO ME FOR A SEC. I know this might be crazy, but hear me out. Just for a moment, I promise it'll be worth while. I thought for like 5 minutes on whether or not I should post this, but I say fuck it. My account isn't big, I'm not popular, but I know this will at least get on one persons page and get one persons attention and that's what matters.

THIS MAN! THAT MAN UP THERE ^

COD besties love him, some people might not know who he is. His name is Johnathan Price, he's a fictional character played by Barry Sloane in the Modern Warfare 2 Remaster. Friends, take a close look to that thing around his neck.

Some of y'all think it looks familiar, right?

Me too. I might be slow on this, some people might've pointed it out on different platforms already, but I'm bringing it to attention anyway. It looks like a Kuffiyah. (Kuffiyeh? Kuffiya? Keffiyeh? I'm still a little confused on which spelling of the name is correct, so I'm using all of them). I might be crazy here, but it looks like one to me. If you don't know, a Kuffiyah is a Palestinian garment that, in very simplified terms, symbolizes their culture and freedom. I'm sure everyone already knows that that freedom has been threatened and that the people of Palestine are currently being slaughtered like cattle, no matter their age, sex, gender identity, etc. It's pure bloodshed of innocent people, a genocide, a holocaust if you need more terms.

I have a very simple theory that I don't think is hard to believe, but first let me show you what a Kuffiyah looks like for those who don't know.

Protesters at University of Michigan in the US, this month. Photograph: Anadolu/Getty Images

The black and white garment these people are wearing is a Kuffiyah. You can find numerous videos on TikTok and other platforms showing up-close images and videos of a Kuffiyah and explaining what the pattern symbolizes.

Now, if you need a second look at that scarf-like garment Captain Price is wearing around his neck, you can scroll back up. There also should be a video below, a clip taken directly from the game, that shows that same garment at different angles if you need a better view.

Now back to that talk of a theory.

Farah Karim, another Icon from the Modern Warfare games. Again, some of you might not know her, here's an image of her.

She's an occupant to a made-up Arabic country called Urzikstan that is located near the Black Sea. She's a solder, and leader, of the Urzikstan Liberation Force, which is an army that fights against the occupation and invasion of her country. In this case, Russia. Farah Karim and John Price are close and, in the games, team up to fight common enemies often. If you look at the country of Urzikstan on the map, in the COD universe, I believe it looks like the same area Palestine should be located on a map if it weren't for Israel's 70+ years of occupation and colonization on Palestinian land.

According to the games lore, the invasion and occupation of Urzikstan from Russia started in 1999, and I'm not sure if its confirmed but I believe it's at least once it's alluded to Price having helped the ULF (Urzikstan Liberation Force) fight off the Russian occupation and free the country.

By this point, I'm sure at least one of you incredibly intelligent people reading this post have figured out what my theory is exactly:

Urzikstan is Palestine in the COD Universe. Or, at the very least, is modeled after and has its history inspired by the very real horrors Palestine has been facing since around 1947 when one of the first/the first attack(s) on Palestine took place on December 31st (Here is an article you can read about that, and there are plenty of similar articles from that outlet). Some of you probably have stopped reading, or think I'm crazy, or something along those lines, but hear me out for a second.

That Kuffiyah that Captain Price is wearing, remember that? People who are in support of Palestine are buying and wearing those to help financially aid Palestinians who can still sell their goods and show their support. I believe that is exactly what Price did, and why he's wearing it.

Now, I raise a question to those who weren't in support before. If Captain Johnathan Price can do something so basic is show support for a population and help fight for a countries freedom, why can't you? It's not hard to reblog a post, or sign a petition, or attend a protest in your area, or at the very least educate yourself on the matter. So, if you aren't, why? If someone who I know most, if not all, of the COD community here on Tumblr loves can do it, can go to war and fight for it, then why can't you do something that's real?

Free Palestine, and have a nice day/night to those of you who actually read all of this to the end.

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saintjosie · 2 days

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hi! no idea if you take asks like this but thought i'd try. i'm writing a transfem character in a fanfic (in canon they are a cis guy, i just headcanon her as trans), specifically about effects of estrogen. i'm doing a lot of research but i was wondering if there's anything specific you think would be important to know? ty in advance if you do answer! <3

oooh what a fun ask!

having recently taken a stab at writing some fanfic myself, i think the things that would be the most helpful are the things that are more anecdotal because i’d imagine those would be the things that would help get inside her head.

first, there’s a lot of stuff about some of the physical changes out there like softer skin, thinner body hair (but not necessarily less) boob growth, fat redistribution, changes to color perception, eyes and lips appearing bigger because of skin changes and fat redistribution etc. but also really important to writing a trans character is the pacing of the those changes.

the changes are slow. much much slower than most people want. there’s a specific frustration in the slowness because while some changes happen quickly, other take years. and also frustration in comparison. some people see changes within weeks or even days. some people don’t see anything for months or years.

in my own personal experience, everything happened FAST. within a few DAYS i had the beginnings of breast buds. within a few weeks skin had visibly softened and changed texture, especially on my face. but other things took more time. i didn’t really have real boobs until 2.5-3 years in, even though i saw other people with the same timeframe or shorter have much more breast development. the patience required can be excruciating but also the joy is overwhelming and it’s a constant cycle.

and another thing i don’t see talked about too much bc it’s hard to qualify and sometimes hard for some people to notice are the way i process emotions and the way i think about things. now HUGE caveat, some people will use this as a way to justify bio-essentialism and transmedicalism and so it’s very important to note that this is MY experience and uniquely interacts with my own journey.

when i started hrt, within a few hours of taking the first dose, i felt different. not physically, but almost as if there was a peace in my soul because my mind became less cloudy and i could differentiate my emotions more clearly. and i used to think this is because t-blockers means no t and no t means less angry but trans mascs would tell me that their experience with t is the same and not the opposite. i’ve now realized that kind of thinking was actually invalidating to trans mascs on t. and ive realized that its actually because testosterone didn’t feel right in my body and removing it from the equation helped me understand myself better. i had always experienced emotions in this way and my discomfort with my body had stopped me from understanding the complexity and nuance with how i was feeling.

and it took me YEARS to understand what had happened. and it happened alongside of being in therapy and a lot of personal growth. hrt was the catalyst but it was the effort i put into growth that made the difference.

if you have any more questions, i’d love to share more cause i think it would be fantastic if more people who were not trans fem would be able to write trans fem characters with substance, nuance, and complexity! it’s difficult but important and thank you for attempting to do so and approaching this with respect!

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kaeyachi · 3 days

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I THINK I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE STORY QUEST, AND IT IS CYNO'S STORY QUEST CH 2

Spoilers Below!

Shameless Cynonari shipping up ahead as well folks ✌️

Ok, I'm just gonna bullet point the entire thing coz I don't have much time (i basically speedran the quest a bit as well) so here are my thoughts:

Cyno and Cyrus then Naphis and Tighnari having basically the same hair is a bit funny to me ngl (but it is cute)

Naphis and Cyrus old man yaoi ✌️ I'll get back to this later but I clocked it early on

THIS QUEST IS BASICALLY A DREAM FOR CYNONARI AND KAVETHAM SHIPPERS. THIS WAS UNREAL PLEASE

Cyrus inviting Tighnari for lunch was cute

Cynonari + Collei probably do a lot of camping trips together 🥺

Collei is also more confident lately! You go girl!! WOOHOO

3 tents...1 for us and paimon...a scene where we see tighnari alone in his...and collei in her own tent...then we find out that cyno left for a supply run and tighnari is already awake...should we be connecting some dots here? (Cynonari shippers come get yall juice)

THE KAVETHAM SCENES IN THEIR HOME WERE INSANELY SOFT AND DOMESTIC. Also, Kaveh sitting on the table is *chefs kiss*

Tighnari was so quick to say he'll run after Cyno. I immediately started sobbing coz wow does he have a fast reaction when it concerns Cyno's safety. He probably would have gone after Cyno alone if we weren't there 😭

Kaveh, Alhaitham, Dehya, Candace, and Faruzan repeatedly telling Cyno to ask for help if he needs it makes my heart soft

Tighnari, meanwhile, doesn't even tell Cyno to ask for help. He straight up just rushes to his side, and that's adorable af. I swear it was starting to look like Tighnari has a one-track mind when it comes to Cyno's safety. Some of his braincells fly off! (good thing he has plenty)

SETHOS. MY SON. HE LOOKS SO GOOD. SETHOS SWEETIE IM ADOPTING YOU IN THE NEXT UPDATE (also wow that was not the voice i was expecting for him in EN, but I aint complaining!)

I keep coming back to it, but Tighnari is really quick when it comes to Cyno's safety and really doesn't pause lmao. Bro cut off Cyno's offer to ask Sethos with a hand and just started walking

new area pretty 🥺 I keep taking screenshots and pictures. got me going "omg! a lotus head column!!"

THE LORE WAS SCRUMPTIOUS BY THE WAY

THE ANIMATION FOR THE CYNO VS. SETHOS FIGHT WAS ALSO INCREDIBLE

Sethos downgraded from 5-star to 4-star caught in 4k hd ✌️ from polearm to bow too

look, the cyno lore was expected, BUT THE TIGHNARI LORE AS WELL?

Hermanubis being a Tighnarian and was King Deshret's chosen familiar hundreds of years ago, and now a full vessel of Hermanubis and a descendant of the Valuka Shuna meet and became friends in the Akademiya and are now companions 🥺

"I like that story." Yeah, I bet you do cyno, sethos basically called you and tighnari soulmates/ destined to meet and be together 🙄 also the ears to cyno's head gear actually really does represent tighnari's ears in some way after all lmao. i remember people making jokes about that

um...why is Bamoun buried like a pharoah?

NAPHIS SCOLDING CYRUS SO HARD LMAAOOO. he worries in his own way

Faruzan scolding everyone is so funny to see pls

cyno, tighnari, and collei having codes and gestures to give each other messages 🥺🥺🥺 tighnari and cyno used to say those codes back in the akademiya for each other, and now, in Cyno's own words, it became a family tradition 😭

Kavetham library date 🩷 then them returning to said date after our coffee sesh 🩷🩷🩷

Cyno taking us to his secret base and APPARENTLY ITS A CYNONARI DATING SPOT BACK WHEN THEY WERE STUDENTS. Y'all think they did the "It's beautiful." and "Yeah (looking at the the person instead of the view)" trope? coz the view was fr beautiful

Cyno and Sethos are officially brothers! yipee! (i will fr be pulling for him to complete the family)

THE PICTURES LISA TOOK OF CYRUS AND CYNO WERE SO CUTE 😭😭😭 cyrus and cyno are planning on visiting mond hehe

I need to review the entire quest again coz i bet i forgot some things BUT CYNONARI AND KAVETHAM NATIONS WE ALL WON

#shameless cynonari shipping ✌️#kaeyachi randoms #cyno #tighnari #alhaitham #kaveh #gi cyno #gi tighnari #gi alhaitham #gi kaveh #sethos #gi sethos #genshin impact #genshin impact spoilers #cynonari #kavetham

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bronx-bomber87 · 2 days

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Hello my lovely fandom :) I hope you are doing well. I can't believe we are at the first half of the finale it's unreal. For only having 10 episodes they've really made them count I will have to say. The writing has been so good this season. Killing me softly but so good. Can only imagine had we had a full season what they could've done. But tis not good to dwell on that ha Let us get started.

6x09 The Squeeze

Ugh poor Tim already breaking my heart 5 seconds into this. It's how he’s looking at the crime scene that gets me. Eric conveys so much with just a look. Always blown away by him. His look is saying so much as he looks on at the chaos. He is processing so much in this moment. Bless Grey showing up to break him out of it. Loving the hat btw Wade. Rocking it good sir. Tim letting him know immediately about his suspicions about Dr. London. Grey telling him to be careful with such accusations.

I love Grey protecting Tim with this friggin Detective Pearson putz. Coming in way too hot. No one I would rather have there to have his back though. Well other than Lucy. But Grey is the the right one to have there in this moment. Always protects his people. Hate this guy already. Wanting to crush Tim to advance his career. Just looks like such a weasel. *grumble.*

John was not ready the rant Lucy sent his way when he asked if she was ok. His face lmao Our girl has a lot of feelings ok? Lucy says she’s good. But you’re not my friend. That rant proving she is anything but ok. Sounds like she is trying to convince herself more than anything else. She is lost in life and where she really is emotionally right now. This scene is proof of that. I know people feel she is being isolated this year. I think the writers are doing this intentionally. I don't see it as bad writing which I've seen mentioned. I don't agree. Because it's very in character IMO. Feel like its setting something up as well. Also she is also the one isolating herself.

Even before Tim broke them up she was doing this. Look at her behavior the entire season. Especially after the exam. Handling everything on her own. Making rash decisions without input from anyone. Not even Tim. Hello Jeff Budney ...Just like Tim isn't open with anyone but Lucy she is the same way. Other than Tim she isn't very open with people about deep personal things. About what's affecting her. So this fits. She even shut Tim out of that situation in 6x04 in her decision making. Not since Jackson has anyone really made it in other than Tim. So this is pretty in character for her to isolate. People may feel it's more Tim but he's not the only one.

His is just showcased far more. Her's has been on display this entire season. Lucy and Tim are scarily alike in this way. She is a control freak and like Tim in the way she shuts people out. How she wants to handle it herself. I mean they have the same fatal flaw. It's why their communication became the problem it did. As much as Tim has growth to do so does our girl. That explosion of emotion just shows how very not ok Lucy is. I'm sure come summer or mid summer with the extended hiatus I might have a more fleshed out analysis of her. But she definitely isn't ok that much i can confidently say now.

I adore Angela calling Lucy to give her a heads up. Always looking out for both of them. Guardian Angel that woman. Friggin Nolan in the back asking what’s happening? She’s kinda busy John so hush. That concerned wifey voice is instantly present on the phone with Lopez. Her turning away from them both once it's about Tim.

This quickly became a personal phone call. Her reaction when she hears this. Oh my lord Closing her eyes. Taking in the severity of the situation. You know her immediate reaction was how he was. How was he feeling? Did he need her? The worry settling in and multiplying quickly.

The wifey vibe is continued when Tim calls John to be his union rep. Ugh killing me how worried she is for him. Concern seeping out of her in this moment. Despite everything that's her person and she still loves him so much. Her first instinct is to be there for him. My heart. Lucy asking Nolan how he sounded? Her tone bleeding worry.

Reason she asks is because Lucy can pull everything she needs to know from that alone. Knows him so well. Her innate need to be there for him. Regardless of all that has happened between them. Melissa killing it with the concern in her voice when asking how he sounded. *heart clutch* You can FEEL her worry.

Tim is so anxious waiting for Nolan. I wanna hug him. Jumps up minute he gets there. Telling him they’re gonna hang this around his neck. That now that Mad Dog is dead their scape goat is gone. Idk I would trust John alone for this. But Tim doesn’t have a lot of options right now.... I will say John proves me wrong later in this ep but my first thought was not 'Nolan should spearhead this.'

But look at Tim reaching out for help. Doing this so differently than how he handled Ray. I’m so proud of him. Taking a totally different approach on this one. Not isolating himself and reaching out for help through proper channels this time. Yeah Dr London sucks for being dirty but Tim has had some growth due to it. I couldn't be prouder of him if I tried. I really hope we continue his therapy journey in S7.

I hate this scene so very much. It was killing me to watch it unfold. She’s using his sessions against him and I wanna cry. It makes me sick tbh. And not even real info about his sessions either. It’s clear she doesn’t wanna be doing this though. Doesn't excuse her but you can see it's not something she is excited to be doing. Her conscience slowly eating at her. What do they have on her? I'm so curious.

This schmuck coming at Grey I wanna deck him. The look on Wade's face you can tell he does too. The amount of blatant aggression and disrespect making his blood boil. Telling Grey he favors his friendships over the city. Was making my Italian temper flare up so very much. Coming at Tim SO hard it was like he wanted to be found out. Bias little shit.

I love the minute Angela hears about Tim's admin leave she calls Wes. Angela saying he better give her a heads up if they're charging him. That she’s standing by Tim a 1,000 percent. Calling him family. Getting all misty over here. Angela loves him so much. He's very lucky to have someone so amazing in his corner. Love me some Angela Lopez. Loyal to a fault. Just like me fiercely protects and defends who she loves. Coming at her own husband to defend him. Adore this woman.

Can I just say I adore Lucy seeking him out. Not only that but making sure she has a private moment with him by pulling that stop button. Telling him she is still mad at him. That this doesn’t change anything. (and yet it changes everything IMO) Tim is so confused because the last thing he expected was this hug. Or her empathy at all. Hell when I saw the promo last week I wasn't either. It's the way he just MELTS into her like butter. His whole body relaxes. You can see the anxiety just drain out of him. Clinging to her like a life raft. Emotionally she is in this moment. Holding her as close as he physically can. He is so grateful for this moment to hold her again.

You can tell this is the first time in a long time he's felt whole. Felt peace of any kind just by being in her arms. This hug is so beautiful you guys. I'm tearing up just writing about it. The way she envelops him so completely. Such raw emotion in her voice asking if he’s ok? His answer makes me wanna cry. ‘I am now.’ Reminiscent of 5x21 when he said the same thing. He wasn’t ok till he heard her voice. The same thing remains the same here. He wasn't ok till he was holding her again. My damn heart. I love how she tightens her hold on him when he says this line.

Like she also can't get close enough to him either. They're just clinging to each other for dear life. This hug gave me so much hope. You can see how in love they both still are with one another. I mean my goodness the way she straightens his collar afterwards and touches his arm lovingly. Reminds me of the lint picking moment from 5x12. Still doing wifey things and can’t even help it. That wifey energy coming off her in waves. It's automatic when they part. Just seems so natural. After being apart physically since 6x06 .They easily fall right back into it. So damn nice to see. Feels like I'm breathing for the first time since 6x06 ended. I'm dying in the best way everyone.

Lucy then re-opens the elevator and they share some VERY loaded looks before she departs. I’m not crying you are.... God I love Tim and Angela’s friendship so much. She is willing do whatever for her bestie. She also is wanting so badly to be tagged in for this. To protect him in any way she can.

Tim seems confident in his play even if Angela doesn’t. Letting her know he's handling this one differently than Ray. Do love her saying different isn't her haha God he's lucky to have all these amazing women in his corner. I adore their friendship so very much. I need more of it in S7 writers I just do.

Really loving Lucy going UC for Harper and Lopez for this case. I think this is part of that setting something up I mentioned earlier. Lucy breaking my heart with the detective comment though. *sad sigh* But classic Lucy to have 8 covers ready to go. God I love her. The most Lucy Chen thing ever to have that many on deck. Not only that she's been growing them for months.

I love this human so very much it's insane. It's no wonder Tim is so damn gone for her. She is the cutest most prepared little nerd and I adore her for it. The look between Lopez and Harper is too damn funny. Tim would not be surprised by this info at all LOL Also her alter ego hitting close to home right now. 'A little lost in life....'

Really enjoyed this shot of Lucy and the nanny debriefing her before we head into the scene. This guy gives me the creeeeeeps. It's no wonder she didn't want to go back into that house. That dude looks like a sociopath. She can handle herself but good lord I hate her being near him. Dude has dead eyes too. The wife looks like she is a prisoner.... The whole scene made me uneasy and nervous for Lucy to be there.

Never thought I would say this....But I’m impressed with Nolan and how he’s handling this situation. That's right you actually read that. LOL You're not crazy. Or seeing things. He’s doing Tim some serious justice right now. Rattling all the cages of the potential dirty cops she’s seeing just by being here. Confronting her like this to see if it bears any fruit for them.

Having Smitty stakeout her office because he knows it'll make her uneasy and easy way to log who comes. Has Nell pulling data for him with police fails for last 6 months from dispatch. Also yay return of Nell. Love her. Honestly first episode in a long time I enjoyed his character. So well done John you pulled off quite the miracle here.

Love Grey in this scene. Hell in this episode really. Papa bear ready to devour anyone threatening his kids at it's finest. This scene was cathartic to watch after this putz had been stomping around. Acting like he owns the damn place. Smearing Tim's name all over the place in the process. Threatening Grey in his tirade. Wade's final straw is him coming after Nolan/Celina.

You can watch Pearson visibly shrink when Wade is done tearing him a new one. Doesn't say a damn word after he tells him to stay in his Iane. You tell 'em Wade. I was cheering him on this entire scene. Was a huge tell for Nolan and Celina as well. Nolan's tactic working very well. Outing him as dirty cop because of his outburst to them working Mad Dog's place plus confront Blair.

This scene makes me VERY nervous for Lucy. She did a really good job listening in till the damn toy. I mean she caught it before it hit floor. Unfortunately the friggin thing goes off with it's song. Giving away not only her position but her potentially her cover. Because he finds it on the ground and has a menacing look on his face. Dude gives me the actual creeps. Well done to the actor cause he makes me wicked uncomfortable.

I don’t like the idea of Lucy going back into that house. Like at all. Extra backup or not. I think her cover is blown and sending her back is like sending her into the Lion's den. She is very competent and can handle herself. That doesn't mean sending her back in isn't extremely high risk. Especially with Monica buzzing around now. We'll see how that shakes out next ep. Kinda hoping it produces some Feral Tim if it goes sideways while she's in there. A girl can dream right?

Prepare yourself. I was once again was very impressed with Nolan in this episode. He did a really good job leading Celina and doing what Tim asked. Was smart about his moves. Bringing Smitty and Nell into it and getting the info he needed. Shaking trees and getting fruit from it. Using everything around him properly even Smitty LOL She's got some balls on her asking for complete immunity and a new life. Also Idk Nolan can promise any of these things.....But it'll be interesting see how the second half of this unfolds.

Now Eric had mentioned in an interview post 6x06 about communication for them in the finale. So I'm excited to see what that'll mean. Will they have a real convo? Idk but i'm excited about it. All I want is them to be in a better spot before S7. I never expected things to magically come back together by seasons end. It shouldn't be that way. Also the season too short for that.

The SL deserved time to breathe and develop a bit. My hope is we will be on our way to reconciliation by end of finale. That hug was a damn good start to that goal. As usual thank you to ALL that like, comment or reblog these. Truly mean that every single one means so much to me. Excited to see how this season ends.

~~~

Side notes- Non Chenford

Harper and Lopez proving what a bad ass duo they were through out the ep. I need more of this in s7 writers. These two woman are dynamos and I need more of it.

Can’t say I didn’t Miss Tim the rest of the ep but damn was it good. I love when they do ensemble cast stuff flexing what a good cast we have as a whole.

Wes standing up to that heavy was impressive and pretty attractive. He’s grown a lot as a character was nice to see.

Loved the ladies nailing that crooked detective. Amazing. Grey getting to put HIM on admin leave. Suck it you schmuck.

#Caitlin's mini reviews #chenford #6x09 The Squeeze #the rookie 6x09 #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #otp: doing my job #otp: unless it is #eric winter #melissa o'neil

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notnamedjohn · 2 days

Text

IN STARS AND TIME SPOILERS

ACT 6/TWO HATS

God I love how much Loop tries to hate Siffrin but deep down really just can’t bring themselves to commit to it. Like they start off as being intentionally annoying because “look this idiot got stuck in a timeloop! How embarrassing! He wants to stay with his friends but can’t bring themselves to actually talk about it! COULDN’T BE ME” and they empathize with Sif because yeah no shit they went through it too. They actually want them to break free of the loops because what they are going through is horrible and so so painful that it hurts to watch.

They give actual genuine advice (hidden behind alot of teehee’s) and talk through Sif’s ideas and theories. They are always there waiting for Sif to come back and try to work out the next thing they should be doing. And, in my opinion, I think they enjoy it. They went through their own timeloop hell and they finally have someone who understands and can talk to about it. Sure that person is you who made the same blinding mistake and is making it worse and you can’t help to make fun of them because its like the you from your most embarrassing moment that lives rent free in your head is right in front of you and you get to be like “hey man what were you thinking? That was really stupid what you did oh my god.”

But I can only imagine how that “haha ur dumb but im here to talk” energy gives way to actual spite and jealousy as Siffrin gets farther than Loop. They killed the king, Loop never could. They find out more about wish craft, Loop never got that opportunity. They can read their native language and speak it again, Loop is still stuck with headaches and fleeting memories. And worst of all? They won. They get to live their lives with their family. They made it through hell and won. The King is defeated,their family is with them promising to stay together and keep adventuring together seeing all these wonderful places and things. And Loop never will. Loop lost their family. They lost them because of their wish. A wish they couldn’t handle. Their family THEIR family is gone forever. The only one who can remember them is stuck with copies that see them as a stranger. And the only way to get them back? To even HOPE to have a chance at being by their side? To kill the better version of you. To murder the one who the Universe loves more. To kill the person who stole your happy ending and family. The person who struggled the same as you. Who came to you whenever they needed help, because they trusted you. The person who came so SO close to failing just like you, but you saved them because you know how much it hurts. The person who you wanted to succeed. The person who you can’t kill no matter how badly you want to.

If you lose to Loop in their fight. They won’t kill Siffrin. They can’t. Not after all of the pain the two of them went through. Not after they have a chance of being happy. Loop just can’t do it because they feel that they don’t deserve it. For all their talk of Siffrin needing to work things out with their family, Loop can’t do the same. They can’t look them in the eye and tell them they are Siffrin, they tried so so hard but couldn’t do it and left them all behind. In their eyes, why should they get a happy ending? They doomed an entire reality, their family and left them behind. They can’t take Siff’s place because they know Siff deserves it. Because they won. They made it. They earned their happy ending.

And im so FUCKING NORMAL ABOUT THAT.

#in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat siffrin #isat loop #isat #god i hope Loop finds peace bro I swear to god #sorry for the rant #needed to scream about this for a min

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valyrfia · 3 days

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I mean this the nicest way possible but have you considered the fact that you just .. hate RPF? Wich is fine, like you said it's a gray area. It's not everyone's cup of tea, actually! It's not even mine because I actually came across those trailers you said! And I instantly went "ew wtf" and I clicked not interested, and then I another showed up, and clicked not interested, and then the algorithm went ok got it, and it's been a while thankfully, that hasn't showed up. So, what I mean is, there is content in the internet that is weird, that's for sure, but there's like... Ways to avoid it? And the way that this has been a persistent subject in your blog in such a deep way makes me think that you suffer it more than anyone, wich is fine but just, don't look at it anymore? I don't know what to say honestly because, again no to be rude but youre making the MOST out of it. And it's like you're treating fandom culture like this deep dark secret when its as public as it can be and I promise you the most a person can do is feel weirded out and mute that content, and hope it doesn't show up.! But for example, I hate povs content, and that has to be the most persistent content I've seen so far on F1, full of "you're the wife/girl/sister" blah blah and I'm a lesbian, I've clicked not interested so many times I lost count and IT KEPT showing up (until i figured muting y/n, driver x reader helps) so if it keeps you more calm there are ways to avoid content you dont like!

I get where you’re going with this but also, nah. I’ve always loved RPF and will keep consuming it whenever I can. I just make a big stink out of seeing it outside of tumblr and ao3 because of algorithms and the way I was taught to interact with RPF about fifteen years ago in which….these things have to stay within their intended circles at all costs. This is back when fandom content was not cool and mainstream and unless you kept your fandom life and your actual life very separate you get bullied to hell for it. Now, I often feel like the pendulum has swung a little too far the other way and there’s such a massive influx of new people because fandom culture is trendy that fandom etiquette is starting to collapse. The treatment of RPF being one of them.

RPF differs from POV content in two ways. The first is that POV content is a little more accepted than RPF in the general consciousness, usually because it’s het but also because it’s very obvious this is a self insert fantasy which while I imagine is awkward for drivers to see, can be easily laughed off as being so obviously just a fantasy. RPF on the other hand builds off of pre-existing relationships and lore and is usually slash, which already introduces an awkward element (and you can say the men shouldn’t have toxic masculinity all you like, it’s not just them that’s the issue it’s everyone who perceives them and the content), also it’s more difficult because people DO talk about these pairings platonically. In order to not experience Lestappen on my tiktok FYP, I can’t interact with any video that mentions those two in the same breath ever because the algorithm will eventually push me ship content even if I don’t want to see it and I click not interested. This happens over and over again.

I love RPF which am just on super high alert about RPF safe spaces being breached because I know from lived experience that it doesn’t bode well. This is also just personally not the way I was taught to interact with fandom, and again I’ve seen enough shit in my time to understand why that etiquette had to be enforced.

#anon #asks #keep RPF on tumblr discourse #there’s generally a breakdown of fandom etiquette and RPF popping up everywhere is a symptom of that I could talk for hours but

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flwrstqr · 2 days

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moots as kpop idols + why?

i think i did this like once but who cares cus i have new moots >3< (if i gave u smth diff last time and its diff this time...sorry TT. i didnt want any repeats or anything.. and i tried tagging all my moots..)

@okwonyo as wonyoung from ive. the most iconic person of enhablr so obviously wonyoung for jiah >3<

@bywons as yeji from itzy. sru is soooo yeji coded. personality wise and vibe wise. i think they really match

@bambisite as sana from twice. izzie's soft and cute personality matches sana.

@jjunae as yeonjun from txt. i swear its not just the theme... its the personality too.

@cupidhoons as ningning from aespa. like go argue with the wall if you dont think so. shes literally the ningning of enhablr.

@jwsdoll as yunjin from lsfm. i think i said this like twenty times cause sav is so yunjin coded. vibe + personality is sav.

@neos127 as hanni from newjeans. ky is sooo hanni coded, is it js me???

@sainns as beomgyu from txt/ shuhua from gidle. anna's loud and chaotic personality truly gives off beomgyu and shuhua vibes.

@stariikis as minji from newjeans. ash pls be minji to my danielle cus you are so minji coded.

@isoobie as giselle from aespa. riri is gigi.

@jlheon as jake from enhypen. peng being the biggest jake stan makes me choose her for this?? like not only is she a jake stan but also so jake coded.

@hyeinism as hyein from newjeans. the most obvious thing ever. via is the definition of hyein.

@reverieki as haerin from newjeans. my hye is soooooo haerin coded. like no one else is js like haerin as her. plus haerin = hye's real gf.

@lcvclywon as eunchae from lsfm. i think i said this before in my lsat one. but either way yuya is eunchae to my chaewon ><

@leaderwon as jungwon from enhypen. luna aka jungwon's real gf. sooo obviously shes jungwon.

@onlyjjong as leeseo from ive/kyujin from nmixx. lili is js a maknae of every gg. like name it and shes that same personality + vibe.

@dioll as karina from aespa. my #1 karina stan.

@jjelly as seoyeon from fromis9. seoyeon to my hayoung 💗

@miudollie as sakura from lesserafim. lizzy is sooo kkura coded (+ shes sakura to my chaewon)

@kyoaeri as rei from ive. nory is literally the rei of enhablr so obviously shes rei

#(´ ∀ ` *) danielle's msgs !!#♡ danielle's mooties !!

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toxic3mmy · 16 hours

Note

consensual somnophilia with alex?

somnophilia: the urge or desire to have a sexual encounter with a sleeping person

prompt: alex fucks you while you’re asleep

warnings! smut! [consensual]

it was finally the weekend. your best friend alex had asked you to come over to hangout and you obliged.

“hey lexie, wanna smoke?” you asked, as he let you into his home

“you already know my answer to that” he rolled his eyes playfully

the two of you sat on his back porch and passed a joint to one another.

as you smoked, your eyes got heavier and the two of you delved into deeper conversations.

“what do you think about… like weird stuff in the bedroom? like with a partner?” he asked you

“what, like shit kinks and feet kinks? definitely not for me” you giggled and alex shook his head

“no, well kinda. like.. there’s this specific thing that i kinda find interesting. it’s like when two people have sex but one is asleep and of course it’s consensual, but i was just wondering what you thought about that”

“hmm.. well honestly, i think that’s pretty hot. with someone you trust, it could be a fun experience, y’know?”

“yeah… yeah definitely. hey, thanks for not being weirded out by me bringing this up. i’ve never really mentioned it to anyone but i trust you” he said, almost as if hinting at something

“of course alex, i trust you too. you’re my best friend and we can always talk about anything at all. and for the record,” you said, getting the confidence to move closer to alex and whisper lowly, “i’d let you fuck me in my sleep”

“w-what? man, you’re just baked” he said incredulously

“no, well yes i am but i mean it. and i’m not saying it because i’m not sober. i mean it.. you’re my best friend, my other half. and god damn are you attractive. you’re so fit that i have to constantly stop myself from staring at you 24/7” your mouth was now running on its own, spilling out secrets that you’ve kept from alex

“y/n… now you’re definitely busting my balls…” he laughed shaking his head

“i’m not, i’m being completely serious lexie. i’m really surprised you haven’t noticed”

“i… didn’t know you felt this way about me… is it a sexual attraction or?”

“the sexual attraction is definitely there, but it’s always been more than that. i like the way you do anything to make me laugh. and i see the things you do that show me you care for me. i’m kinda crazy about you, alex. i don’t wanna make things weird between us and i really do understand if you don’t feel the same—”

“n-no!” he yelped making you jump slightly as his voice got loud

“i mean… nothing could break us apart y/n. to be honest, i um… i think of you, too… in many ways” and that made you smile

you shoved him playfully, “look at us being all mushy”

“yeah” he laughed “but um y/n?”

“yeah?”

“did you mean what you said? about letting me do things while you were asleep? consensually, of course..”

“i did mean it, but why don’t we slow down there, cowboy. start at the beginning” you said, bringing his face closer to yours

you inhaled from the joint in your hand, pressed your lips to alex’s and breathed the smoke into his mouth

“fuck, that was hot” alex chuckled, tracing his fingers along your jaw, bringing you in for a real kiss

your lips moved together slowly. he tasted so sweet. you felt his tongue asking to be let in. you moved your tongue alongside his and slowly began to suck on his tongue. this elicited small whimpers from alex and it really turned you on.

you pulled away as you felt the nighttime breeze pick up

“let’s get inside, it’s cold”

the two of you set up snacks in front if the sofa as you binged movies together. you’d get distracted here and there with wandering hands and long makeout sessions.

eventually, the weed in your system took over and you felt yourself falling asleep. alex was way too invested in the movie to even realize you’d passed out. he looked over at you and smiled at how peaceful you looked. he laid you down and placed a warm blanket over you. for the next hour, his attention remained on the tv.

“mmm lexie..” he heard you sigh in your sleep

he turned to look at you and reached his hand out to brush your hair away from your face. you nuzzled your cheek into his touch while still asleep. alex couldn’t resist running his fingertips down your body.

his hand inched up your shirt, pinching your nipples lightly and enjoying the way you whined in your sleep. he pushed your shirt up and replaced his fingers with his mouth, sucking on your hard nipples.

he was hovering above you, careful not to put his body weight on you as he grinded his hips into yours.

he was panting softly and you were still asleep. he threw the couch cushions aside and laid behind you as if he were cuddling you. he took his pants and boxers off, pumping his hard cock in one hand. his other hand slipped your sweatpants down without waking you. he moved your panties aside and began to rub his tip between your wet lips.

he slowly began entering you, feeling how tight and wet your pussy was. he moved slowly behind you with his hands on your hips. you started to shift in your sleep and he slowed his pace even more. once you settled, he sped back up.

his thrusts woke you up and before you could even open your eyes to realize what was happening. you were already letting out strings of filthy moans.

“f-fuck…”

“you like that, sweetheart? waking up with my cock deep inside your tight little pussy?”

“yes alex…”

“yeah, say my name again baby, i love the way it sounds on your lips”

“oh a-alexis… please…”

“that’s right, just like that baby, keep saying my name”

“alex, im so close”

“you can let go, sweet girl. i want you to make a mess all over my cock”

and that’s exactly what you did. you came and your tight hole quivered around your best friend’s cock.

his thrusts stuttered as he reached his climax. he pulled out and you felt him leaking out of you.

“you… you should do that more often” you panted, clinging to alex

“id love to, y/n”

you laughed and curled up into him, enjoying the closeness

alex cleaned you up and held you for the rest of the night.

#alex quackity #alexis quackity #quackity #quackity x reader #quackity fanfic #quackity x y/n #quackity smut

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argumentl · 2 days

Text

Kaoru Interview - Burrn! Japan Vol.23 (Feb 2024)

Interview by You Masuda

FAN TRANSLATION

(Note: This interview was held mid-way through the Phalaris Final tour)

The next person to interview was Kaoru, straight after Die. When I asked Kyo about new material going forward, he simply said, 'Ask Kaoru about that', but to be sure, if there is any member creating the blueprints for future new material, there is no doubt that its Kaoru. Of course, I'm aware that its slightly too soon to be asking such things, but I started the interview hoping to at least pick up a few hints.

ーYou are currently mid-tour, but after finishing both days at Zepp Haneda, how are you feeling about it?

Hmm. Its quite.....exhausting (lol). It consumes a lot of energy, much more than we usually use for live shows. Phalaris has a lot of power packed into it, and you really feel it bearing down on you. I'm not even trying to be that active on stage, but still....its tiring (lol)

ーBy that you mean its something different from physical tiredness?

Yeah, the tone, the content of the show, there is a heaviness to it, its something that you just can't approach half-heartedly.

ーKyo said that the songs are all hard work to sing this time. As for performing, there seems to be a lot of songs that you just can't relax through.

Yeah, its the same when playing. It really questions the type of person who is stood there playing on stage...this isnt the type of stage I can just stand around carelessly on. I mean, not that I'm like that anyway (lol). But there is something about it where I just can't express myself unless I fully throw myself into that world. It feels like a heavy weight crashing down on me for this tour.

ーThis is the third tour in the Phalaris cycle, but I get the feeling the first two rounds were not as heavy as this?

They weren't. The first round was quite tasteful, and in the second round we emphasised the 'live' element of it more, it was like a lighter version. If its too heavy from the beginning, its kinda tough on the audience too.

ーWould you say this is an album with such a heaviness that it requires this kind of considered moderation?

Yeah, but we did think we need to moderate this tour too. If for example, we were to do a single limited live show in a big venue to close Phalaris, that would be even more intense. In the shape of a tour, there are times when we are reaching our absolute limits. Thats how tough it is (lol) It didn't seem right unless each show of the tour encompassed that sense of weight and culmination.

ーIn other words you are almost right at your tipping point?

Yes. If we were to increase the intensity further, there is no doubt that the shows would collapse into chaos...which may be ok in some sense, but then we would be unable to continue touring properly.

ーYou touched on this earlier, but don't you have any plans to do a seperate finale for Phalaris in a big venue at any point?

No, we aren't thinking about that, not for now at least. It doesn't mean there is a zero percent chance, but recently there just isnt the venue availability for that kind of thing. This has been going on for a few years now. If we had been able to find a big venue before announcing the tour, then this tour wouldn't have been seen as the 'Final'. So in a sense, ending Phalaris in this way is very rooted in actuality. It probably still would have been this heavy though, even if it wasn't labeled as the final.

ーFor Uroboros, you held a finale live in Osaka jo Hall after a bit of time had passed. Is there no possibility of such a thing happening for Phalaris?

Well, I don't know. Its a timing issue. If we found the perfect venue at the perfect time, and if we were all mentally in that space....I mean, it will be easier to know as time passes, but if we are mentally for it, there may be a possibility.

ーYour answer has raised my expectations somewhat, but I'm not going to get too carried away for the time being. Have you discovered any new feelings towards this album during the current tour?

Hmm....I've been thinking its a good album (lol)

ーIts not like you to sing your own praises (lol)

Well, I mean, after this, if we realease a new single, there will probably be Phalaris-like elements to it, but even putting that to one side, so many of our past songs just fit really well alongside Phalaris. So I think we have been very true to ourselves with this album. Although it sounds a bit odd for me to say that myself (lol). I'm not entirely sure about the overall balance of the album as a piece of work, but it fits so well with our other songs, there is a mysterious feel to it.

ーFitting with your other songs may have something to do with it, but at the time you completed the album, you also said that it contains every part of Dir en grey. I'm sure you werent consciously thinking that while you were making it though.

No, I think I was at times. Of course, this isn't the end for us, but I was thinking that IF the band were to end now, I would want this to be seen as our best work. So as for consciously putting all of Dir en grey into it, no, I don't think thats wrong.

ーMaking the album with that much conscious effort means its not all new. There are links to the past, as well as that link to pull you forward onto your next step.

Yeah, and I've been feeling this even more so on the current tour. That's why I've been thinking this is a good album (lol)

ーI love hearing this kind of thing from the artists themselves. Hearing about the songs fitting well reminded me...With all these songs from Phalaris in the setlist, certain other songs might also come to mind, but to hear songs like Different Sense and Downfall in there, its like they were meant to be. That may be an odd way to describe it...

Heh, I understand. They wouldn't be out of place even if they were on Phalaris. We didn't choose to include specific types of songs while we were making it, but if you search through our past music there are some things that do just roll into place. Its probably going too far to say I was realising this when completing the album, but I feel like I can see Phalaris more clearly now. With this tour, I really do feel that sense of completion.

ーThat may be what a sense of completion actually means. You finally reach that point after realising for yourself what the flow of your past work has created.

Yes.

ーIn that sense, I think this is a very interesting outcome. But with such an intensity to the show from the outset, there is the possibilty of the audience being left behind at somepoint, if you don't get it exactly right.

Hm, I wonder. Some people might have felt that way about Phalaris 2, but this is just us being us. Its just not blowing up with excitement at the end this time, its kind of a different feeling from what we've done previously. The heaviness of the mid-section of the show is due to us being thorough, but I don't feel like its exceptional (lol)

ーAs you just said about the end of the show, closing with Kamuy is a bit different from the feeling we usually get at the end. Did you choose to play this song last, in line with bringing Phalaris to a close?

Well, it was also the first tour to play Kamuy. If we had played it at previous tours, it might have ended up in a different spot in the setlist. But for sure, to play it for the first time at the final, it could go in no other spot. Even if we were to do a seperate final in a big venue, I think it would still come at the end of the encore, not the end of the main.

ーEnding the live with the disquieting tone of Kamuy in the air, then raising the lights and bidding farewell to the audience...even with this familiar parting scene, its quite different from past tours.

With that we simply just want to say thank you to the people who came. Its a way to express thanks at the end of each show. We could just disappear off stage after Kamuy if we wanted to, but as I was saying before about 'the type of person who is stood on the stage', I want to keep this time that I have to express my thanks to the peole who come to see us. I mean, the 5 of us could all gather together in the centre for a farewell or something too, but that kind of structure somehow doesn't seem very 'us' (lol)

ー Yeah, lets save that for another occasion (lol) By the way, it must have been a difficult transition to go from finishing this phase of Phalaris, to confronting the new single 19990120.

Well, it wasnt easy. We did the 25th anniversary tour last year, so from there it was like, 'Should we do some old stuff?'. We would usually be looking at doing new material at this kinda time, but we talked about it, and what with covid and such, we thought there might be a few people out there who hadn't been to see a live show for a while. So we thought we could use some kind of tool to get more people coming back as we move forward. Not in the sense of making an album of self covers or anything, but since the 25th anniversary of our debut is in Jan 2024, we thought we might as well try something. We just wanna try out what we can, because of course there is always loads that we can't.

ーYeah. Self covers or remakes can give the impression of being backwards looking, but as we talked about how past songs have fit so well in the current tour and helped you realise how far you've come, it could be said that looking afresh at these songs from 25 years ago might be the link to future discoveries.

Whether or not this links to new things is hard to tell untill we do it, that wasn't really in my mind. But for now its more like a tool to stir up the 'Lets go and see Dir en grey again' feeling. I can say this, back in the day there were a lot of so-called heavy bands I used to go and see. I admired them and started my own band, I'm that kind of person too (lol) But I think a lot of people like that eventually start to think 'Ah, I havnt listened to that kind of music for a while', they even stop listening to music at all sometimes. Or if they do listen, its the same stuff they listened to back in the day. I wanted to strike a chord with those kind of people and get them thinking about coming to see a show. As well as letting them connect with Phalaris, its just a good starting point to get back in. So these new remakes are part of a plan, as opposed to something we just really wanted to do.

ーDir en grey have rerecored old songs in the past, but those past remakes have been more about updating old songs to match the contemporary sound of the band. Was there no such intention this time?

Its not like there was NO intention, of course, we wanted to put some of our current selves into them while making them. But we didn't want to change them outright. So in that sense, they are different from our past remakes.

ー Without trying to make any big intentional changes, you wanted the natural differences between then and now to shine through?

Yeah, that kind of thing. I think in that sense, we achieved our aim.

ー I see. I actually dug up an old interview from 25 years ago, and have been re-reading it. In it you were speaking about the background to each song and such, but Kaoru, how did you feel back then about releasing 3 songs at once for your major debut?

I though it was a great talking point, but it was hard work (lol) We had first talked about releasing two songs. So we went to LA with this idea and got to work in the studio, but then it somehow got suggested to do three songs. I honestly didn't even know how we were gonna get even two songs recorded, so I was rather skeptical that we could manage three. (lol)

ーWhat song was number 3?

That was Yurameki. We had started pre-production on all three at first, and sent them to Yoshiki. After that we chose the diametrically opposed Zan and Akuro no oka as the two songs to record. But when we went to LA, it was like, 'Ok, lets just do all three'.

ーI can hear the voice of your producer when you say that (lol). Back then, it wasn't that unusual for two songs to be released as a single at once in this category, but three had a big impact. What kind of things made a big impression on your memory back then?

Firstly, there were a lot of people around. Also, it was non-stop photoshoots and interviews. I was always writing music within this kind of bustling situation. It was really easy to lose focus of where we were heading with it all, so I tried to keep a tight hold on only that. But there were still a lot of days where I just had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

ーYou were having like, 10 interviews at day, right? Wasn't it a bit like those artists who come to Japan for promotion, but like every day?

Yeah, even for photoshoots we would have 3 different studios booked, going here, going there, interviews in between, every time.

ーI'd like to ask about the three songs. On the new release, Yurameki is song number one. Was there any meaning behind recording them in this order?

After finishing the arangements, when we were starting the recording stage, we thought this order would be good based on how the song starts and ends. Its only for this reason.

ーI was going to ask more about the song order, but as for Yurameki, it was a bit of a curve ball for Dir en grey back in the day, wasn't it?

No, not really. We had melodious songs even then, I didn't think it was that much of a curve ball. Its Shinya's song, but he had been writIng songs during the indies era too. It was a recognition of our Shinya-esque songs.

ーAt the time, you said, 'Its a pop song, but we wanted to change up the style'. Does that mean you thought a lot about how to put it out there?

In the end, if we kept it ordinary, it would end up sounding like a totally ordinary song. I actually paid a lot of attention to parts that you wouldn't notice even if you listened to the song (lol). For example, the chord work. Yoshiki would tell me to do impossible things like, 'How about we try this?'

ーWhat do you mean by 'impossible'?

To put it simply, impossible chords and stuff. (lol) But he would say, 'Its only for the recording, so its ok, right?' So we changed our plans, and recorded all the chords one string at a time, then layered them up to make the sound. Not like playing every string simultaneously, but recording phrases one string at a time. So in the end the texture of the sound came out with more of a bang. I was spending a lot of time on those parts that no-one would probably notice.

ーIn other words, you deconstructed the song during recording.

Yes, I took advantage of the fact that they were chords that couldn't be played normally, and recorded them in a way which was unique to the studio.

ーI see. And about the songs Akuro no Oka and Zan, Yoshiki's opposite comments about both songs are in this old article. You said that for the former, he said he was concerned about the collision of sounds, and for the latter, he said 'I don't care about the collision of sounds'.

Heh, that sounds about right.

ー The collision of sounds. These are words I sometimes hear. In short, its where sounds are mixing at a place and a time where they shouldn't, right?

Yes. Maybe its because I'm a guitarist, but I tend to like adding more and more sounds and layering them up. I would suggest something like, 'I want to add this kind of phrase here', and Yoshiki would say, 'No, that gets in the way of the other sounds, change it'. So I would add something different, and he would say, 'No, thats no good either. Do you really need to add something here?'. For me it was like, 'well, I may not need to, but I want to'. It might be a guitarist thing. I say this, because Yoshiki did tell me, 'HIDE was like that, always wanting to add extra stuff in'. (lol)

ーIt must have sent shivers down your spine to hear that. In addition to this, you also said about Akuro no oka, that 'Including the guitar solo, the developments in this song are really satisfying to play'. Is it these chord progressions and such that feel pleasant to guitarists as a rule?

That is part of it. I've always felt comfortable playing this song. But when we were doing the remake, I did wonder whether I should try to go even further with it. Like, could I make it feel even more satisfying? I did actually try it, but it ended up feeling so good, it didn't line up with the original song anymore (lol). So I gave that up. It wasn't Akuro no oka anymore, it had a kind of palacial feel to it. I thought this wouldn't work (lol)

ーI feel like I also want to hear the palacial version, but we do need to preserve the foundations of the song, right? (lol) Okay, so next, the complete opposite of Akuro no oka, Zan. The song itself had been around from the beginning, and it seems like it went through many minor changes to get to where it was?

Well, because we had played it a bit live. But originally, we made it in the studio with me just telling everyone stuff like, 'Im gonna play this part like this, so you play the drums like this' etc etc. And then for the CD release, I actually remade the arrangement, so we could do it properly.

ーGenerally speaking, this is the least fitting of the three songs to be a single. Did you ever question or doubt putting this out as a single?

No, I definitely wanted to release it. So much so as to even say 'I want Zan as the first song' (lol). But it would be tough with only Zan, so thats how we came around to the idea of releasing two songs. Like, 'It has impact, but we need something with a different feel to it too'.

ーI see. It might have been a lot different if not for this decision. The three songs were recorded at the studio 'ONE ON ONE' in LA. (Note: This later became 'EXTASY STUDIO' when Yoshiki bought it, and is now in the hands of a different owner under the name '17 HERZ STUDIO'). This place was well-known for being used by Metallica, but how was it, recording overseas so suddenly?

Well, it was super luxurious. I've never had such a cushty recording experience since (lol)

ーDid you feel like, 'We made it!'?

No, I didn't. Not that long before that I had being doing home recordings, or usIng super tiny studios etc up until our indies era. So no, even being placed in that situation didn't make me feel like we'd made it. It was more like, 'Okay, what do we do now?' (lol) Being in that unfamiliar environment, there was a lot of pressure to make something lasting. We had unlimited use of equipment, but at that stage in our growth, we had limited knowledge, and undeveloped ears. So even if we heard something, we were unable to tell whether or not it really sounded good. It was me, who listened to nothing but heavy music, being told, 'Maybe this sounds better?', but then just responding, ' Nah, I just wanna make it sound more distorted'(lol) I only ever had this kind of exchange back then. But of course, my knowledge, brain, and ears were not fit for that environment. It was a bit of a waste in some sense. But it could be quite interesting if we were to do that kind of thing now. I didnt understand how the sound of a studio works back then, but if it was now, as well as having understanding, I would be able to really experiment with different things. I'd understand about mic positioning, about creating ambience, and all sorts. But back then I knew nothing. (lol)

ー Its seems almost pointless to be in that environment with such a lack of understanding and appreciation, but I think the experience itself probably meant a great deal to you, right?

Yes. I learned the importance of taking time to make something. Looking at a song from different angles, trying to dig into it in different ways. Before that things were never really much deeper than, 'Ok guys, lets make something'. I learned how to put great care into my work for the duration.

ーIts a very valuable thing to learn early on that its not all easy. Ok, so in January you will hold the FC limited live shows in Kawasaki and Osaka. You'll be in 25th debut anniversary mode in mid-Jan, right?

Well, yeah. And after that is the European tour, which will be a bit different from a regular tour. And the after that, a domestic tour entitled PSYCHONNECT. This time its 25 years since Gauze (lol).

ーIt's one anniversary after another, right?

Yeah (lol) The timing was just right to fit a tour in this Spring, and when we talked about what kind of thing to do, a Gauze themed hall tour was suggested.

ーJust to make things clear, this doesn't mean you are going to re-record the whole of Gauze, does it?

No no no (lol). If we did that people would be like, 'Enough of this already, record some new material!' (lol)

ーOf course. But at same time, I'm still kinda curious about hearing something like that.

Even if we were to do that, now isn't the time for it. People would end up thinking, 'What, are you gonna rerecord your entire catalogue??' (lol) That wouldn't be much fun.

ーYeah, interest would drop if it was nothing but rewriting history.

If I was a fan, I'd probably be thinking, 'Is this all they're doing from now on?'

ーRight. The thing we are really all waiting for is some new material after fully digesting Phalaris. Have you begun anything in that direction?

Nope, not yet (lol). I don't even know whether its ok to say this, but I haven't started yet. But actually, I was thinking about getting started today (lol).

ーYou might start writing new music straight after this interview?

Yeah, the interview just came into my schedule at exactly this time.

ーI can't wait to hear what you come up with. When I interviewed you just after the completion of Phalaris, you said that with no regular touring during covid, it had been difficult to communicate and exchange ideas with the other members. Does this mean that normality has returned to the bands' interactions. Are you able to make new music whilst interating with the other members on tour again?

Yes, we had already got back to a sense of normality by the tour before this. but now we are actually discussing next moves and stuff, and we are ready to get started. Straight after this interview, to be exact (lol).

ーLet me ask you one more thing. We touched earlier on the European tour which will be held in March. Its the first overseas tour to have past albums as a theme. What were you thinking about when deciding this?

We had originally talked about doing it in 2022 as part of the 25th anniversary run. But with the pandemic, and also trying to balance it out with the Phalaris tour, we were unable to make it happen then, so we slided it over to 2024 just as it was. People might be wondering why we are doing it at this time, but we had planned to do it from before, and now we just finally have the chance to.

ーWould you like to return to overseas touring as it used to happen previously?

Well, yeah, but its not easy. The reality is a lot different now than how it used to be. Its really not as simple as to just say, 'Let's go' now. In this case, we managed to make it work by seeing if we could do it at this particular time, but I can't be sure about future overseas tours. So to the fans in Europe, I want them to come and see us this time. Don't wait for next tme.

ーIts really interesting that the themes for this European tour are Uroboros and Withering to death. Your first ever tour of Europe was with Withering to death. These two albums have been influential in Dir en grey's overseas activities.

Yeah, we were overseas the most with those albums, and with The Marrow Of A Bone. I had thought about digging a little deeper, era-wise. Like maybe taking Vulgar overseas or something. Maybe if we have a chance in the future.

ー There are still many paths open to you. What about a Gauze world tour?

Heh, that would require a lot of motivation (lol) It would be impossible otherwise (lol)

ーWhether or not you ever manage that, there are still a lot of other things you need to do, and things you can do. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of year 2024 is for you.

Thank you. Hopefully it won't be long before we have something new to put out.

#dir en grey #kaoru #薫 #I agree that Phalaris is thier best album #great interview #Comments about overseas touring #Vulgar overseas tour!#long post

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sabrgirl · 24 hours

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4 habits that will change your life ✨

istighfar x100 a day

i cannot stress enough how powerful istighfar is. when i first started doing this x100 a day, i almost told my therapist i don't need therapy anymore because life suddenly got so much better lol. obviously, that didn't last because life isn't consistent and stable like that. nonetheless, istighfar protects you, it gives you strength through Allah's Mercy, it brings you closer to Him, it grants you peace and happiness. it doesn't take too long to do 100 times a day. just sit there after a prayer, i picked fajr, and recite 'astagfirullah' on your fingers like you would usually do tasbih after salah, or use beads etc. it takes about 5 minutes of your day and will change your life. try it every day for 1 week and see what happens.

dhikr when you wake up and before you go to bed

by doing this, you're starting and ending your day with the remembrance of Allah. my grandma used to say that the way you start your morning determines the rest of your day. it's also scientifically proven that the first thing your brain gets dopamine from is what your brain is going to look for the rest of the day. for eg, if you go on your phone as soon as you wake up, you're more likely to be tapping your phone, scrolling, going on your phone for the rest of the day. because it sets the tone!

so, if you start your day with the remembrance of Allah, not only are you getting blessings for it and improving your relationship with Him, but you'll set the tone for the rest of the day and will probably be more inclined to do dhikr later on too. i can testify that it definitely works. it's the best way to get your day started.

and when you end with dhikr, it's the same thing but in reverse--a peaceful way to end the day, easier to fall asleep and a great way to feel connected to Allah سُبْحَٰنَهُۥ وَتَعَٰلَىٰ. it's also scientifically proven that the condition you fall asleep in usually stays with the person all night. think about a time you've had such a good day/night and you fall asleep happy. did you wake up feeling good? what about when you've fallen asleep crying or upset? maybe the sleep was so good after but did you still wake up happy? so, if you go to sleep in a state of remembering Allah, you'll likely wake up in that state too.

now think about the benefits of doing dhikr as you go to bed and wake up every single day. you'll always be in a state of the remembrance of Allah! the Prophet ﷺ used to recite the last three surah's of the qur'an, ayatul kursi and the last two verses of surah baqarah. you can do any dhikr you'd like, 'subhanallah wa bihamdi' or 'alhamdulillah' or 'astagfirullah'. pick whatever you like.

surah mulk before bed

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (ﷺ) said:

"There is a surah in the Qur'an, with thirty verses, which will intercede for its companion (the one who recites it) until he is forgiven: Tabarakal-ladhi bi yadihil mulk (Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the Dominion)." - Surah Mulk (Sunan Ibn Majah 3786)

surah mulk has lots of benefits, and Abdullah bin Mas‘ud (one of the companions of our beloved Prophet ﷺ) narrated that “whoever recites Surah al-Mulk every night, Allah will prevent the punishment of grave by this Surah”.

so clearly, there are a lot of benefits by reciting this surah that we will thank ourselves for in the next life - preparing for our akhirah (afterlife) is very important. you'll also end your day with the remembrance of Allah and have the specific reminder through this surah that everything belongs to Allah and is under His control. it helps me have nice dreams too.

it's not very long, it has 30 verses so it won't take a really long time.

learning a new surah bimonthly

this helps you build a relationship with the Qur'an and is a nice challenge for you to incorporate into your life. i recommend reading the translation and commentary of the surah first, so that you don't simply memorise it but know what it's about, what Allah is trying to say with the chapter and how you can live by it. but incorporating the memorisation of Allah's words into your life is a gamechanger: you'll build a bond with Allah, with the Qur'an and also with your salah too. because it's always exciting to be able to recite a new surah in your prayers - being able to do that multiple times a year is great.

start small and you will turn these all of these into habits. remember that the Prophet ﷺ said that 'the best of deeds are those which are done consistently, even if it is a little' (Sunan Ibn Majah 4240). what do we call things that are done consistently? habits!

start with one and do it every day for 30 days. then keep going and slowly add another once the first one has become fully established as a habit. sometimes we want to rush and do everything all at once and change our lives overnight. that's the worst thing to do because you'll either never do it or, you will start, then become so overwhelmed with so many new things to do that the habits won't stay and won't be long term. don't worry, we have our whole lives :) start slow and your life will change for the better. may Allah make it easy for us all, Ameen ♡

#islam #muslim #sabrgirl #religion #allah #quran #prayers #islamic #muslims #jummah #welcome to islam #hadith #zikr #tasbeeh #ramadan

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iamjucie · 3 days

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Astarion the Musical

Today, I spent several hours creating a playlist that tells Astarion's story (a version of it) through songs. I want to share the playlist with you, along with this post as a companion to describe the context.

In my mind it plays out like a musical would- context and dialogue happening between musical numbers. I hope you enjoy.

Song explanations:

The Code: Post game Astarion introducing his story to the audience. A synopsis of his story from the POV of the person who lived through it.

"I, I went to Hell and back To find myself on track I broke the code, whoa-oh-oh Like ammonites I just gave it some time Now I found paradise I broke the code, whoa-oh-oh"

The story starts when he is attacked by the Gur and is approached by Cazador.

The Killing Moon: Cazador turns him into his spawn.

"Under blue moon I saw you So soon you'll take me Up in your arms, too late to beg you Or cancel it, though I know it must be The killing time Unwillingly mine Fate Up against your will Through the thick and thin He will wait until You give yourself to him"

Dead Arms & Dead Legs: After he has turned, coming to terms with his new undead self.

"I have been out walking with these Dead Arms & Dead Legs And the mysteries of the universe are patterned in my head The terrain becomes unbearable - too steep to stick your heel I imagine myself here again in 50 million years I run to the left... I run to the right And all my fears become a life And what is left... and who are you in the end?"

Queer: He is seducing victims and luring them to Cazador using his body and charm.

"Hey boy, take a look at me Let me dirty up your mind I'll strip away your hard veneer And see what I can find The queerest of the queer The strangest of the strange The coldest of the cool The lamest of the lame The numbest of the dumb I hate to see you here You choke behind a smile A fake behind the fear The queerest of the queer"

The Dead Come Talking: Feeling guilt about the victims he led to death. He can't seem to forget them.

"Feel the worms eating holes through my mind Like regrets that'll kill me in time Walking backwards is always a guess Distant faces burn holes in my chest, mm-mm, mm-mm Shadows floating, they're out in the hall They still haunt you long after they're gone Buried in the basement, cold cement Dead come talking, can't put them to rest"

rises the moon: Montage of his life as a slave under Cazador, time passes and his hope for an escape becomes less and less.

"Days seem sometimes as if they'll never end Sun digs its heels to taunt you But after sunlit days, one thing stays the same Rises the moon Days fade into a watercolour blur Memories swim and haunt you But look into the lake, shimmering like smoke Rises the moon"

Abbey: He is out in the city hunting, daydreaming of freedom.

"There is a light, I feel it in me But only, it seems, when the dark surrounds me There is a dream and it sleeps in me Keeps me awake in the night Crying, "Set me free" And I wake every night Crying, "Set me free" "

Kidnapped by the Nautiloid. Nautiloid crashes.

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!: He wakes up at the crash site and is freaking out. He is in the sun, and not burnt to ash.

"This is not enough, this is not enough to prove it yet No, I need to hit the bottom This is not enough, this is not enough to prove it yet No, I need to hit the bottom Gotta get to the bottom of this Gotta get to the bottom of this Gotta get to the bottom of this"

Meet Tav.

Survival: He realizes he has an actual chance at freedom now that he met Tav.

"You won't pull ahead I'll keep up the pace And I'll reveal my strength To the whole human race Yes, I am prepared To stay alive I won't forgive, the vengeance is mine And I won't give in Because I choose to thrive Yeah, I'm gonna win!"

Biting Down: Drinks Tav’s blood for the first time. His first time drinking blood from a thinking creature and he realizes why it was kept from him. He feels alive. He feels powerful.

"Skip a hit, don't make a sound (It feels better biting down) Breathed so deep I thought I'd drown (It feels better biting down) Listen to the beats resound (It feels better biting down) It feels better biting down (It feels better biting down)"

Little White Lies: Gaining Tav’s trust, making her fall in love with him for protection.

"Would you leave me for dead, or would you come to my aid? If I don't tell you some pretty words Should it keep you coming my way I never meant to lie, but there are things we do and say to get by Little white lies, a small surprise, how big they grow in size It all starts simple enough Your present is dark because your childhood was rough So you shed your skin and you change your name in the hopes of Putting air in between you and the pain, so grab a mask Fill up a flask, slither like a snake into the mascaraed"

Terrible Thing: Seduces Tav enough for her to sleep with him.

"I know what you're doin' here Made your intentions clear Oh you, you terrible thing, you Terrible thing, you Terrible thing, you Beautiful thing Honey, you're so cold You left me on patrol Lose my self-control with you (when I'm with you) Do things I don't want to do, ooh"

Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!): Feelings for Tav are growing, and the guilt of manipulating her is starting to get to him so he tries to justify his actions.

"It doesn't take a killer to murder It only takes a reason to kill We've all got evidence of innocence, it's "everything's coincidence" The difference twixt fate and free will is whether you're singing Ooh, could you take a look at me? Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad? And now we're singing, ooh Whatever you think of me If you were in my shoes (yes, it's only natural!) You'd walk the same damn miles I do Oh, oh, right!"

Gilded Lily: After Tav does not force him to drink Araj’s blood. He is processing his trauma. He realizes that Tav cares for him more than anyone ever has.

"Haven't I given enough, given enough? Always the fool with the slowest heart But I know you'll take me with you We'll live in spaces between walls Every city's got a graveyard The service bought and paid for Now I'm sleeping in the backyard Passing out as night turns into day"

Against the Kitchen Floor: He confesses to Tav that he was originally manipulating her but now has genuine feelings for her. He has never known the feeling of somebody wanting him for more than his body and he doesn't know how to handle it well.

"I don't owe you my heart And I don't owe you my body But you should know that I'm sorry For being careless with you Lord knows I owe you more Than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody But I can't pin down what normal people want from foreign objects Bottom shelf erotic products like me So, I could hold your hand but keep you at arm's length Or hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake Less rare than scarce, less diamond than rough Unlikely to be more than just the coal you fail to crush, and I swear, I'm really trying It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for me I swear, I'm really trying Oh, I'm sorry, I promise, I'm doing my best I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet"

you should see me in a crown: They find out from Raphael what his scars on his back mean, and about the Ritual of Profane Ascension. He is fantasizing about what he would do if he managed to overtake it in private. He wants the power it would grant him.

"You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by, one by one, one by, one by You should see me in a crown Your silence is my favorite sound Watch me make 'em bow One by, one by one, one by, one by one"

Perhaps Vampire is a Bit Strong But... : Astarion fights and confronts Cazador for the centuries of abuse he put him through.

"'Cause all you people are vampires And all your stories are stale And though you pretend to stand by us I know you're certain we'll fail I've seen your eyes as they fix on me, full of confusion Your snarl is just so condescending Try to explain that we're onto a win If the fee we are in near recoups what we're spending"

He can choose to complete the ritual in Cazador’s place, or kill him. Tav convinces him to not go through with the ritual, he kills Cazador:

What Was I Made For?: He kills Cazador and doesn’t complete the ritual expecting a sense of relief and gratification but feels nothing. He thought he would feel free without a master to rule over him, but he feels lost.

"What was I made for? Hm 'Cause I, I I don't know how to feel But I wanna try I don't know how to feel But someday I might Someday I might"

Two Coffins: He is coming to terms with Tav’s mortality. He is mourning the loss of the opportunity to have her forever by not going through with the ritual.

"Two coffins for sleep One for you one for me We'll get there eventually In the dark of our graves our bodies will decay I wish you'd never change How lucky I ever was to see The way that you smile at me Your little moon face shining bright at me One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me Two coffins for sleep Two coffins for sleep All the things that I have yet to lose Will someday be gone soon Back into annihilation All things will fade Maybe it's better off that way I wish you'd stay with me"

Rain: For a moment, he regrets not going through with the ritual and feels a slight disdain for Tav for stopping him. This song is when he comes to realize it was the correct choice and is thanking her. He knows that he would have just become just like Cazador, and thanks to her he is breaking the cycle of abuse.

"For so long, I have waited So long that I almost became Just a stoic statue, fit for nobody And I don't wanna get in your way But I finally think I can say That the vicious cycle was over The moment you smiled at me"

My Instincts Are The Enemy: He is confiding in Tav that he wants to be with her forever, but explaining what that means for her. He is tied to the night, and she is tied to him. Is she ok with that?

"I'm paralyzed, engaged in civil war What can I do? Either way, I lose You lose, too Days are nights, and nights are unbearable What can I do? Chained to this mood You're chained to me Keep asking different questions The same answer I receive I need you more than ever To tell me what you've seen"

Sunlight: The Netherbrain is defeated and the tadpoles are gone from their minds. Without the tadpole he is now unable to withstand the sun. He is coping with the lack of sun by replacing it with Tav. From now on she is his sunlight.

"I had been lost to you, sunlight And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight But it is sunlight All the tales the same Told before and told again A soul that's born in cold and rain Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight And at last can grant a name To a buried and a burning flame As love and its decisive pain Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight"

Fin.

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