#i want to be able to have discussions about these characters without people projecting their morals on to me

[puppiekit]

Maybe I'm going to get some heat for this but people do realize brambleclaw isn't like.... a wife beater, right???....... Dudes an asshole but I swear people act like he's *the worst* character in the entire series. I see people get genuinely agressive over this man, to a degree i never see with other toxic characters in the series. It is kind of ridiculous imo. Like can I please mention his name without 500 people running up to me screaming "THE ABUSER!!!" Like can you fucking chill out. The way people talk about him you'd think he punches women in the face when he's just a pitiful overtly-controlling emotionally manipulate ass... I seriously feel like if I mentioned the fact that he actually has good character qualities I'd be crucified

And well.... sorry for getting heated lol... Only saying this because I've legit been approached aggressively just for mentioning his name in a conversation.... not even about bramble either like why are you yelling at me I'm talking about hollyleaf dawg

[sirfrogsworth]

Photo Restoration Project - Part 1

A long time ago, Katrina sent me some old photos of her family I could restore. Her parents have been helping me from afar for years and I really wanted to do something nice for them. Unfortunately my dad got much worse and I pretty much forgot about this project for quite some time.

But then I decided to visit Katrina in Orlando and we discussed having dinner with her parents and I remembered these photos. So I thought I would fix them up so I could present them as a gift in person.

The first and most important photo was from her parents wedding.

Old photo prints can fade over time due to UV light exposure. From what I understand, different colors fade at different rates and red/orange tones tend to be the least susceptible to this fading. Thankfully all of the color information is still there, it's just that the darks are not as dark and the lights are not as light. The dynamic range got squeezed like an accordion. However, if you do a levels adjustment on the red, blue, and green channels individually, you can unsqueeze the accordion and balance everything back to the way it was.

But you can't always save everything and there may be other damage that needs fixing. If something becomes pure white, there is no way to restore that detail. Thankfully I was able to use the new generative fill feature to bring back detail in the dress, the flowers, and the tuxedo shirt.

And because I hate front facing flash and how it makes colors look ugly and sterile, I may have also added a marble floor and pillars.

Next up was a photo of Anastasia, Katrina's mom, protesting Henry Kissinger on behalf of her home country of Greece. This suffered from the same color fading issues.

What made this one a little more tricky was an uneven fading. The left side had to be adjusted independently and the top was even more faded. I had to isolate the trees to bring back their color. And the protest signs were difficult to read, so I enhanced those as well.

Next we have this lovely photo of Anastasia tending to some house plants.

This photo was actually in decent shape. It lost a little contrast, had a little bit of fading, and her top retained almost no detail I could recover. Recovering accurate skin tones is probably one of the most important skills I learned when restoring these photos. I wanted to keep that filmic look of the era while avoiding making people look jaundiced or pale. Lightroom's new masking feature that let's you isolate every aspect of the people it detects in a photo. This made fixing skin tones much easier. I could isolate just her face or her lips or her hair or her eyes and make precise individual adjustments. This process could have taken a great deal longer without this feature. But, I brought back proper contrast and color, added a little bit of detail to her top with gen fill, and hopefully got fairly accurate skin tones as well.

Next up, forward facing flash strikes again in a photo of Mike and Anastasia during Christmas.

Film did not do well in low light. If it was indoors and nighttime, you pretty much had no choice but to use flash. But a flash is a very small, bright light source and this causes a very unflattering result on humans. Today we have much more powerful flashes with rotating heads. We can bounce the light into the ceiling or off a wall and increase the size of the light source to get a more flattering result.

In this photo I wasn't able to do much, so I just balanced the skin tones and brought out some hidden detail and called it a day. It's still a lovely memory and thankfully film has such character that it negates a lot of the unflattering aspects of direct flash.

Next up is some cuteness...

A big priority when editing photos is to make sure the subjects are the star of the photo. And in this one their faces were a bit obscured in shadow. There was also a lot of haze in the background hiding the beautiful vista. Not to mention when I cleared that haze, there was this super faint hint of something in the sky. I can't tell if it was a rainbow, but I decided to believe it was a rainbow. The only thing that I am still struggling with, and this seems to be common with a lot of old photos, is green. Getting a good, saturated, natural green to look right has been very difficult. Everything I try ends up looking toxic or fake. The only thing that ends up looking right with the rest of the photo is more of a yellow-y brown. It's something I'll have to work on as I learn, but as long as the overall photo looks balanced and natural, I'm okay with not perfectly nailing the greens.

Up next we have a lovely scene on a Greek dock...

As far as editing goes, this was pretty basic. I just undid the fading, adjusted the skin tones, replaced the blown-out sky, and made the colors pop. But I think this is actually one of my favorite before and after shots. I just love how such a simple fix brought this scene to life.

A new car is a big deal and Anastasia looks so proud here...

This image has another common issue in addition to the typical fading of colors. It has a yellowish orange color cast. This could have been an issue with the film used or the development process or a chemical reaction on the print. A color cast is a lot like looking through colored glasses. It's like a translucent color material was put on top of the image. This can be a little trickier to deal with, but if you know your color theory, you might already know the solution. Blue is the opposite of yellow/orange on the color wheel, so if you introduce blue to the image it should balance out. Also, add a sky if it was missing.

Next up we have a landscaping project...

This one wasn't too tricky, but there was one interesting issue I had to address. All light has a color temperature. Daylight has a temperature of around 5500K. But the inside of the garage was being lit by reflected light and so that light took on the color temperature of the things it was bouncing off of. So I had to mask out the people and the car and address the color temperature inside the garage to make everything look balanced. Also, the green fought me hard on this one. And with the theme of this picture being plants, I felt I really needed to find a tone that worked. I think I finally got there, but I spent way too much time in the color picker doing trial and error of green tones. Also, new sky.

With this next one I actually did a pretty thorough explanation of how I edited it. But this was probably my favorite puzzle to solve from this collection of photos.

I'll do the abridged explanation...

The physical photograph was printed on a paper with a very heavy texture. And when it was scanned, the light from the scanner bounced off that texture and created a pattern of unwanted highlights.

I was worried this was impossible to fix and I almost gave up on this photo. But after one final Google search I discovered something called "Fast Fourier Transform." It's a mathematical formula that can be used to detect patterns. And the image editing software Affinity Photo, just so happens to have a filter called FFT denoise that helps you remove unwanted patterns from scanned photos.

And thanks to that filter, I was able to remove a substantial amount of that pattern...

Then I did my standard clean up techniques...

Oh, and I decided to try learning how to colorize.

Photoshop has a new set of experimental filters and a colorization tool is one of them. It is not great yet, but it is a great starting place. Instead of having to hand paint every single thing in the photo, Photoshop gave me a base to work with and I could take it from there with traditional techniques.

That's all I have the energy for today, but there are a bunch of cool restorations to talk about. Hopefully you all find this interesting. It was such a great gift to give to Katrina's parents. And spending that time with them and making them happy felt like I was with my own parents again. So we all got a gift in that wonderful evening.

Part 2 coming as soon as I have the energy!

[1960z]

how people go about interpreting dr bashir I presume? really frustrates me sometimes ngl especially the “jules bashir died” scene.

like that whole scene is about julian revealing the depth of how deeply his augmentations fractured his sense of identity and who he is - which feeds into the themes of the whole episode surrounding how disability and then by extension disabled people are often viewed as a problem to be solved and because of that are often denied the ability to have fulfilling lives because the able bodied people around them don’t believe that they can.

but… idk, when the fandom talks about it there’s always seems to be a push to read a trans allegory into it that I don’t think is really there? I keep mulling over this post in my mind and when I initially reblogged it I didn’t really want to talk about this because the post is about how stories about racism can be hijacked by white people to be made about their own transness and it felt like as a white person, using that post to complain about ableism would be missing the point. but it really helped me articulate in my mind why the trans reading of this episode feels off to me because the same general principle seems to apply and that is taking a story trying to discuss a specific type of marginalisation and putting a trans reading above it because you can relate more to it personally.

“jules bashir died in that hospital because you couldn't live with the shame of having a son who didn't measure up!” this scene is the culmination of julian expressing his pain about what was done to him as a disabled child by his parents due to how they viewed his disability. but often when I see it being discussed, people aren’t really interested in talking about that. instead supplanting it with a trans reading instead which, in my opinion is an allegory that doesn’t even really work when you think about what’s going on in the broader context of the scene.

julian didn’t stop going by jules because he came to the conclusion on his own that the identity didn’t suit him similar to the way a trans person questions or rejects the gender they were assigned at birth, he stopped going by jules because he felt like the identity attached to that name was taken from him because of what his parents did. it’s not julian affirming who he wants to be it’s grieving over who he can’t be and to me at least, it’s honestly kind of harrowing.

and as an aside: when people read transness into a story about parents who change their child’s body and mind at a very young age without consent, which is literally a narrative projected onto trans people by transphobes to justify the curtailing of trans rights, that also doesn’t sit well with me. I think people latch onto this reading because of the idea of “killing a name” but again in the context of the whole episode the trans reading really doesn’t feel appropriate.

I think it’s okay for people to have trans headcanons about julian of course or literally any character they want to really, but I think saying that specific episode codes him as trans isn’t all that great honestly.

[lycheedr3ams]

König Character Analysis (Part 1)

*image reposted with permission

Part 1: His Past | Part 2: König's MBTI

the first installment of a multi-part character analysis for our beloved König

to convince you guys i know what I'm talking about, just look through my blog at my könig posts. I am confident that I have grasped most parts of his personality and backstory, but I will acknowledge that some of it may be projecting. obviously we do not know much about him, which is the point of this series. i also relate a lot to him

discussion of my interpretation is welcome in the comments, and if you disagree, there's no need to be hateful. he is, at the end of the day, not real

TW: bullying, social anxiety, other mental health disorders

We have very little information on könig's life before the military. his bio includes one sentence, just one, about his past:

König suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life, often being bullied during his childhood.

while this information alone isn't striking, when put into more context of other parts of his bio, it says:

While he hoped to join as a recon sniper, his physical size and his inability to stay still made him an unsuitable candidate.

focus on those words: his inability to stay still. this crucial bit of information, tied to the fact that he was often bullied, leads me to conclude that könig has ADHD. not being able to sit still is not a stereotype, it is a real fact of life for those with ADHD, me included. people with ADHD are bullied much more than neurotypicals (people without ADHD, autism, etc). while each source is different, it is estimated that children with ADHD are 4-10x more likely to be bullied.

it is no wonder why bullying would cause social anxiety, since most of könig's interactions with his peers were negative. as someone with social anxiety, it is horrible. not knowing what to say or how to act, you end up either completely misreading the social context or not saying anything. either way, you can never win.

additionally, children with ADHD receive up to 20,000 more negative messages from parents and peers in their childhood than neurotypical children. because of this, it is common for people with ADHD to also be extra sensitive to rejection, and it can be so strong in some that a new term has been coined called "rejection sensitive dysphoria." research on this issue has revealed that 99% of people with ADHD also have and experience rejection sensitive dysphoria. therefore, it makes sense to conclude that König also experiences rejection sensitive dysphoria (rsd)

an aside on rsd: this isn't just feeling hurt when you're rejected by a crush or feeling sheepish or embarrassed you're scolded at work or school. rsd episodes make you question your entire life, your personality, your worth, and for many can even lead to suicidal thoughts just from a small incident of rejection. it can also lead to the person having low self-esteem, and they are also more likely to perceive rejection even when it is not there. it is an intense and overwhelming experience that no one should have to go through, yet people with ADHD experience it often

so, we've established, based on the evidence i've provided, that König has ADHD, social anxiety, and experiences rsd. i would say that i can't even imagine what König's childhood was like, but sadly I can since i too have adhd and was bullied. being mean is never okay, and bullying is not cute or quirky or sassy. bullying is when someone kicks your books across the floor, steals and destroys your belongings, when they spread false rumors, make fun of you, laugh at you, when they give you mean faces when you ask questions in class, when your only friend is the other "weird" kid who also has ADHD. it's when your teachers constantly criticize you and you get in trouble for every little thing. it's when you just wanted a friend and everyone else knew how to socialize, but somehow, you didn't. being bullied while also having ADHD is an experience i wish on no one. yet könig went through this. just sit with that for a minute. the big scary military man we love was also a child once, and went through this.

sorry to depress you guys, but this is the reality of his character. i firmly believe that könig has ADHD and experiences rsd despite his untouchable and stoic demeanor, and you're not gonna change my mind.

so, that's the end of the first installment. keep your eyes out for more, cuz trust me, there's gonna be more. (also don't forget to sign up for my taglist if you want! link is on my masterpost)

taglist: @osteawb, @sleepystaarr, @vvampir3s, @simpxinnie, @majocookie, @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy, @marysdelrey, @kybeth5, @chaos-on-stand-bi, @shannonswizzies, @arcadia509, @bloodstoneruby, @cumikering, @skystreamchan, @junkratssheila-09, @kit-williams, @tangerynsbaby, @dreamdiaries777, @royalbxstxrd, @non-satanic-panic, @theweirdchick, @kiyomisan, @maylif, @mortimoshi, @eneiss

[sideprince]

Do you have any thoughts on how Snape would have acted if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin? While I can’t help but feel that there would be a part of him who would want to joyously gloat about James Potter’s son ending up in Slytherin, I can’t help but wonder if he wouldn’t still hold a mountain of resentment that would be incorrectly targeted towards Harry? Do you have any thoughts on this? Thanks!

I think one of the key aspects of Snape and Harry's relationship is that they don't really know each other and don't get a chance to. If you look at how the rest of the staff treat Snape, there seems to be respect for him and while I'm not sure how many of his colleagues actively like him, they certainly don't dislike him. We see this in how the rest of the staff treat teachers they don't like, such as Lockhart and Umbridge:

...Dumbledore announcing that, unfortunately, Professor Lockhart would be unable to return next year, owing to the fact that he needed to go away and get his memory back. Quite a few of the teachers joined in the cheering that greeted this news.

-Chamber of Secrets, Ch. 18

The upshot of it all was that Professor Umbridge spent her first afternoon as headmistress running all over the school answering the summonses of the other teachers, none of whom seemed able to rid their rooms of the fireworks without her. When the final bell rang and the students were heading back to Gryffindor Tower with their bags, Harry saw, with immense satisfaction, a disheveled and soot- blackened Umbridge tottering sweaty-faced from Professor Flitwick’s classroom.  “Thank you so much, Professor!” said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. “I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn’t sure whether I had the authority...”  Beaming, he closed his classroom door in her snarling face.

Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 28

This leads me to think that since the staff have had some opportunity to get to know Snape, even if it's superficially (given how guarded he is), their treatment of him indicates that he's not as terrible and repugnant as characters like Harry make him out to be. And while it's possible that they were deferential to him because he can be intimidating, I don't really see a bunch of talented, established Hogwarts professors cowering. After all, Umbridge had more authority than Dumbledore and even fired a staff member, but the rest of the teachers didn't seem to be affected by whether or not they were intimidated by her. They also literally took on Voldemort and his army to protect the school.

The reason Snape is able to project so much of James onto Harry is because they don't know each other outside of the classroom. This is the same reason why Harry is able to resent Snape so much. We see a chink in both their armors during Occlumency lessons in OoTP, as Harry shows curiosity and Snape encourages it, but before they can start to get a fuller picture of one another as people, Harry wrecks it by invading Snape's privacy when he goes into the pensieve. It's integral to the plot - and the big reveal at the end of DH - that these two characters maintain a resentful distance.

If Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, they would have had more of a chance to get to know each other. The same way Harry was told by other Gryffindors as soon as he started school that Snape was strict, mean, and played favorites, if he'd been sorted in Slytherin he would have been influenced by their bias in the other direction, ie. in favor of Snape (and potentially against McGonagall given the rivalry with Gryffindor). Whatever resentment Snape had against James would have had an opportunity to soften over time as he inevitably got to know Harry better.

By his fifth year Harry would have been sitting down with Snape, not McGonagall, to discuss his career ambitions, and as his head of house Snape would have known Harry enough to advise him. We see throughout the books that heads of house like McGonagall pay attention to students even if they don't interact with them all that much directly. Had Snape had the opportunity to do so with Harry, and had he been motivated by his role as his head of house to defend him where necessary, he would have gotten to know Harry as an individual enough that whatever of James that rested in Harry's facial features would have fallen by the wayside.

That's only one part of how Snape relates to Harry, though. He's vocal about James, his friends, and his hatred of them, but he never mentions Lily once. We know Snape is a guarded man who frowns on wearing your heart on your sleeve:

‘I told you to empty yourself of emotion!’ ‘Yeah? Well, I’m finding that hard at the moment,’ Harry snarled. ‘Then you will find yourself easy prey for the Dark Lord!’ said Snape savagely. ‘Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked so easily - weak people, in other words - they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!’ ‘I am not weak,’ said Harry in a low voice, fury now pumping through him so that he thought he might attack Snape in a moment. ‘Then prove it! Master yourself!’ spat Snape.

-Order of the Phoenix, Ch. 24

So it's no surprise that he doesn't mention Lily. He protected Harry at risk to his own life for the sake of honoring Lily's sacrifice. Clearly their friendship meant the world to him and left an impact, and because it's so tied up in emotion for him, Snape never talks about it. He isn't the kind of man to show emotion willingly, as we know. He smirks, he speaks softly when angry, he hisses, and he only loses the tight grip he has on expressing his feelings when he's triggered. There's a fair bit of information on the page about his relationship with James and how he feels about it, and how much of it he projects onto Harry (though I think that diminishes significantly from OotP on, especially after Sirius' death), but nothing at all about Lily except in his very private moments with Dumbledore.

What's even less straightforward is how much of Lily he sees in Harry. I wonder whether this was intentional on the author's part, but I'm curious whether Snape might get angry when Harry sasses him and talks back because his personality is so much like his mother's. So while there isn't much to go on, I think it's interesting to consider whether if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, Snape might not have seen more of Lily in him given the opportunity to get to know each other a bit, and whether he might not have appreciated that about him.

[beelijah4894]

I want to examine Chilcuck's change in relationship with Marcille

Quite frankly, I want to discuss the way his general trust changes and how it affects him.

Marcille and Chilcuck are good coworkers, especially at the start of the show. They respect boundaries and share a teasingly platonic relationship. Beyond that, they are fairly good friends; not extremely close but still good. For lack of a better explanation, they are close enough to be able to show genuine concern for the others comfortability rather than just their safety. For example, when Marcille is attack by the slime, Chilchuck offers his hanky to blow out the excess. Or when Marcille helped Chilchuck stitch up his neck wrap.

This show does a tremendous job of showing how these characters have already gotten to know each other and that they know each other well. When Chilchuck is trapped with the mimic, he trusts Marcille would be concerned enough to get help, but also knows her well enough to know she probably fell back asleep. Still, Chilchuck does trust these people. Enough even to share his age and very minor details about his life outside the dungeon.

A scene that really shows Chilchuck's trust in the group is right before the Undine attack when he is laying out the plan for the rest of the trip. It shows just how well they work together and Chil doesn't have to worry about too many details. He knows he is with a strong group. In fact, I'd say they are at their strongest right before and during the dragon attack. They make a plan together and work out each others strengths, in which Chil is able to help in the actual fight. (another less important fact, but when Laios is mentioning how they used to fight dragons, children isn't even named).

Then, the resurrection happens. Chilchuck is the number one person against it. So why does he stay? Why doesn't he stop it or leave the party? There are quite a few reasons. He can't go home without his party, he'd never survive. But he also doesn't want them to die and I think deep down, he does trust their judgement. They've stayed alive this long doing things he wasn't comfortable with and, while this is an extreme, he does have some form of trust there.

Chilchuck is such a follower of what is ethically right and he obviously doesn't agree with this. While, on the other side, Marcille thinks that "there is no morality in magic." It drives a stake through that bond because they both feel so strongly about it. And all of those adventures they had before almost don't matter when Chilchuck is talking to Laios about how, "[He] always found it strange. A well off elf girl wanting to explore the dungeon." (quote may not be exactly correct). Chil doesn't trust "that Marcille" anymore, at least, not as much as he used to. It doesn't help that she is frightening when she is walking the mini dragons away.

When Chil is complaining about his group to the orc (I can't remember her name, forgive me), he admits that they are consistently near death and how his party is reckless and stupid. We know now that he is afraid of losing them and was generally projecting his own feelings of fear. Marcille is included in this, as he complains about her. He, however, mentions her life after the dungeon. "How is she going to live a normal life after this?" He does care for her, but I believe he is projecting here also. How would he live a normal life after witnessing that. What would he do if they're found out?

And this is projected onto Marcille after a while. When Marcille is teaching Laios healing magic and Marcille and Chilchuck discuss party relationships. He implies that she shouldn't have even been let into the group. "I wish he had a better judge of character. That way he'd never find himself in a situation involving black magic." Not to mention in this episode, This being the shot after he says this. They are metaphorically further apart than they have been up until this point and Laios is right in the middle of it.

That friendship is still there. We can see it in places like when Marcille is just holding Chilchuck during the cleaners episode and he's not really angry. But that trust and fear is still there. We see in the Chimera episode, Chilchuck trying to let Marcille know about Shuro and a few others knowing what happened; he is still unhappy to be in this situation and wants to find a way out, but there really isn't a way out.

"I knew it. I had a feeling it would turn out like this. Dammit!"

"Sorry, guys…"

followed by Chilchucks defeated expression. No reassurance, but no fighting either.

This wasn't my best analysis but I am putting my one year of college to use!

I can't wait to see how this changes and expands. I am still only on anime right now, bc my manga are on back order but I'll get there soon enough! @burnazog

[strawglicks]

i genuinely cant believe how insecure and almost saddening graham's ending cutscene is. im so serious

Graham's IMMEDIATE reaction to losing is trying to project onto the toons. Instead of admitting defeat, he tries to twist the situation to make it seem like the toons are the ones who've lost the battle.

The fact that Graham cant handle any imperfections in the first place is horribly insecure. someone who's really confident in themselves should be able to admit their flaws and still be happy with themselves. But that's not the case with Graham. He can act confident all he wants, but he's really lying to himself if he can't accept his own flaws and imperfections.

This entire cutscene is Graham projecting his own embarrassment onto the toons. HE'S embarrassed to have lost his own battle. HE'S embarrassed to have gotten burnt out so fast. But he tries desperately to flip the situation to run away from his own shame.

This is a fat lie. Deadass.

I see people speculate abt this line and what his "other forms" could be, but nah he's just lying. Graham was giving his all in this fight, given by how exhausted he is at the end to the point of passing out. It's WHY he's ashamed to have lost, because he was genuinely trying his best and giving it all he had. Yet, he STILL didn't win and it destroys his pride. And in an attempt to save that pride, he lies about "just getting started".

More projecting onto the toons. Graham needs a breather himself, given how he literally faints at the end of his battle. But he can't even admit his own exhaustion or allow himself to be tired because he has this idea that he needs to be perfect. He's built his whole "brand" on being "perfect", so when those flaws start to inevitably show, it shatters this image he's created for himself AND others. He will inevitably be embarrassed and humiliated again and again, merely by his own flaws that he really doesn't NEED to be ashamed of. But he will be ashamed of them because of this "perfect" image he desperately wants to be. It's just self-destruction.

Despite his attempts to flip the situation and project onto the toons, he collapses at the end of his fight from exhaustion. Graham pushes himself to the maximum and then forbids himself from feeling tired, which. Golly! That's unhealthy.

This cutscene, more than reeking insecurity, is also just self-destructive. Graham refusing himself a break and working himself to exhaustion just to prove his worth is so unhealthy, not to mention twisted companies like Cogs. Inc WILL leech off this behavior in an employee and use it to keep them working nonstop. It happens a lot IRL when employees pride themselves on constant productivity because it's what jobs like to see. And those jobs will take advantage of those qualities to keep employees productive with little regard to said employees' health. Graham's pride is destroying him.

I never see people talk about how truly insecure or unhealthy Graham is. I'm all for sillies and poking fun at Graham, but real talk this is a really underrated aspect of his character, and something that should be explored when discussing how companies like Cogs Inc. hurts their employees. Jobs love workers like Graham, but that's. not necessarily a good thing. Esp when they love the workers bc of how hard they'll push themselves without taking breaks. It's an easy trap to fall into when you're trying to impress your employers, especially when you're desperate for a job. (and graham WAS desperate for this job, as seen in MOTM.)

anyway, heres a doodle i thought was fitting

[nobie]

I need to talk about Morgan Elsbeth and the connection to Thrawn. Along with some other questionable narrative choices Filoni has made with Thrawn.

I want to preface, this is not going to be a hating Morgan Elsbeth post nor hating on the actress or any bts production of her character. There is enough hate towards characters like this in this fandom and I will not be perpetuating that (take that negativity somewhere else). I only want this to be an open discussion on this part of Thrawn's story.

Morgan is a character that has been placed into Thrawn's canon timeline. She was not written in (everything is written obvs but let me explain). The distinction I want to make between those narrative ideas is, placing a character into a story means they are important in supporting the main character, but no one cares if they are replaced or removed from the story. Writing a character into the story means they are so important to the direct development of the mc, if they are replaced or removed it feels like a piece of that character is missing. Some examples for Thrawn would be Eli Vanto or Ar'alani. Morgan was removed from the story in the Ahsoka series and it didn't even effect Thrawn himself.

So why create this character and push a narrative that makes her seem like the most important part of the story? Like without her Thrawn wouldn't be able to get back to the galaxy? Thrawn is a genius, a warrior, and a survivor. He could've figure that out himself, or with the help of Ezra (an established character that the audience loves). Instead he's had to rely on Morgan.

This is where my qualm with Dave Filoni comes into play. I love Filoni's work he has created some of my favorite stories in the Star Wars franchise. But he does one thing that I despise. Ignores the work of amazing authors. In this case Timothy Zahn. I can't say for sure that he hasn't read the Ascendancy Trilogy or the Thrawn (2017) trilogy, but it feels like it when analyzing Filoni's characterization of Thrawn. If he did read those books or least consulted Zahn on them he would know Thrawn's true motives for what he does. He is a protector for the greater good. He goes against many higher powers to make the right choice, not the good or bad choices. He shows the characters around him time and time again that he will always do what is right even if it means his downfall. He is not a villain in his own story just himself, not good or bad, the one in the middle. He evolves, learns, observes, and understands things on a completely different level. And we only see a sliver of this characterization in Filoni's story. I understand the narrative built around Thrawn being the ultimate villain for the ghost crew because a good story like this should have an interesting dynamic between protagonist and antagonist. But the fact that you'd have to read his books to know who he is, is a clear indication to me that his novel characterization wasn't researched enough.

It also shows me that Filoni favors the legends version of Thrawn more. Especially with the inclusion of Pellaeon in Tales of the Empire and not Eli Vanto. Who could have easily been placed into that role. Although, he his Thrawn's aide he can and has done things like that for Thrawn.

Now in Tales of the Empire we see that he isn't the original creator of the TIE Defender. Trying to place Morgan into a characters story that is so beloved [Thrawn] feels so forced through this idea that she created the TIE Defender. Why would someone who is trying to get revenge for her people go to the Empire with an idea like this. If she is so angry why she is relying on someone else's power to get her revenge? And even when she got in the good graces of the Empire with Thrawn what came of it? The Defender project was ruined, shouldn't her allegiance to Thrawn be in ruin too. The deal they made implied she would get what she wanted, but she never did and was still loyal to him. Thrawn does have this quality about him though, you'd follow him off a cliff, the gravity in which he attracts people to his cause is so alluring. But that still doesn't explain where Morgans revenge story went. And in the end she really does feel like a character that can be replaced.

Trying to make a character that was placed into the story important to the audience does a disservice to the story as a whole. Thrawn has an established world of characters in the novels that are readily available to use in the narrative. So why aren't they in it? Eli especially in one I cannot ignore the absence of. From the moment Thrawn is found in exile Eli does not leave his side. Eli follows him into battle again and again. Even after realzing his initial career choice will amount to nothing now that Thrawn has taken over his duty in the Imperial Navy. Thrawn himself says "you hold my words in your hand, and their meanings," and although that was in relation to his survival with the Empire it still held true throughout the story. Eli is an extension of Thrawn, whatever is said to Eli is said to Thrawn and vise versa. So where is he?

(Ok that's all my ramblings for now. Hopefully this made sense. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies. Thrawn was the first sw novel I read, I'm fiercely protective of him. So when his characterization is kinda ruined like this it upsets me. But I'm always excited to see him in any media and hear that silky voice of his, thank you lars.)

[riddlerosehearts]

silver twisted wonderland is strongly autistic coded and, although most likely completely unintentional, really good autistic representation in my opinion and i wanna talk about why 💚

okay, so. as an autistic person myself, i love to see myself in fictional characters and headcanon characters i can relate to as autistic. i personally feel that you don't necessarily need evidence to do this, but i do like having evidence and being able to back up my headcanons! and i've thought of silver as autistic-coded ever since a couple months after i first got into twisted wonderland early last year, and have been wanting to make a post on his many autistic traits since october. i should warn in advance that this is probably going to be a long post, which is why i'm putting it under a cut. so with all that being said, let's get into it!

silver takes people's words very literally. all the time.

the first time i called silver autistic-coded, in a message to a friend of mine, was when i was sharing my thoughts on the endless halloween/spectral soiree event and i reached this scene between him and jamil:

in this scene, jamil exclaims "you've got to be kidding me!" in frustration and silver misinterprets this as jamil thinking he was trying to make a joke, and then tries to explain what he actually meant. he also does something like this in leona's ceremonial robes vignette, when leona responds to silver's assumption that he and malleus are friends with "you're dreamin'. come back and talk to me once you wake up. or better yet, don't", and then silver replies: "in fact, i am very much awake". and in ruggie's PE uniform vignette, ruggie tries to joke about teaching silver to haggle "if you ever end up on the street" but silver responds by genuinely thanking him, to ruggie's surprise. this type of overly literal thinking and clear difficulty with understanding sarcasm is incredibly common in autistic people and silver does it all. the. time. i'm only giving a handful of examples because it would take way too long to try and compile every single instance of this.

similarly, silver tends to take what people say at face value and assume that others have good intentions where most people would not.

examples of this include the fact that, also in leona's ceremonial robes vignette, silver believes leona without question about having seen malleus in the greenhouse even though it should be obvious that leona is lying. and, in silver's broomquet/bloom birthday card voice lines, when azul gives him a coupon for his birthday, silver is told that there must be a scheme "behind this gift" and responds by saying that there's nothing written on the back of it--or, in another translation, he's told that there's "something fishy" about it and replies that it's not a coupon for seafood. so he not only doesn't even consider that azul of all people might have an unsavory motive for gifting him a coupon, but he also misunderstands a common turn of phrase. these are very common traits that cause autistic people to be thought of as oblivious and naive.

silver has trouble understanding social conventions and nuances in general, and has ways of thinking that seem strange to others.

in silver's birthday boy voice lines, he apologizes to yuu for not realizing why they were asking what he wanted a while back and having answered with "more time for training", and he also thinks yuu is odd for being excited when it's not their own birthday. in his PE uniform vignette he tries to help vil with a film club project by starring as an extra in a short film, but vil ends up getting angry with him because silver can't figure out when he's "supposed" to act surprised. he also surprises and confuses others by treating events like the culinary crucible and beanfest in unusually serious and overdramatic ways, with the latter event causing vil and riddle to discuss how difficult it is to tell when he's joking--during which riddle, who spends a lot of time around silver as a fellow member of the equestrian club, notes that silver isn't the type to tell jokes. jack and jamil have a similar discussion after silver tells them about how he befriended a family of bears as a child, during the endless halloween event. and in his birthday boy vignette, he talks about how ever since sebek grew taller than him, he's been asking sebek to get the dishes from the top shelf, which always causes sebek to get a "triumphant look" on his face. and then, rather than realizing sebek is taking pride in being taller than him, silver says he thinks that he must "get enjoyment out of fetching things from high places".

again, there's way too many examples of silver doing things like this and i don't want this post to be so long that it's impossible to read. but this is all just very autistic of him and these are the kinds of things that cause us to be thought of as weird, stupid, and annoying by our peers.

silver has flat or blunted affect.

the word "affect" refers to how one portrays emotion, through gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. if you have a flat or blunted affect, your emotions will come through very little, no matter how strongly you may feel them, and it can be incredibly difficult for others to tell if you're happy or sad or what you're feeling at any given time. this is something autistic people commonly experience, and silver has this with his lack of facial expression in particular. in-game, silver has extremely little variance in facial expressions compared to every other character, and even his one rarely used smiling expression--while adorable and always a delight to see--is more of a small half-smile.

and it takes a lot to even get this much out of him. he'll often say that he's happy or excited, and seem to genuinely mean it, but not smile at all. i believe that most often he's seen smiling like this when talking to or about lilia (brb while i cry at the thought of that). and this trait of his is commented on several times, such as one of his groovy voice lines when he says the following with his usual neutral look on his face:

or, in his birthday boy voice lines, where he says: "every time someone takes a birthday picture of me, they ask me to smile more. i AM smiling…"

it's fairly common for autistic people to have flat affect and be thought of as robotic, emotionless, and unapproachable as a result. and there's actually a lot more on this topic that i want to talk about, but i'm going to come back to it later in this post.

silver has a love for mushroom risotto that can be seen as him having a samefood.

the word "samefood" refers to the tendency that autistic people can have to eat the same food very frequently for days, weeks, or even months at a time. people who have samefoods might have a strong reliance on routine and/or have sensory issues that make them resistant to trying new foods. and they may often need the food to be prepared the same exact way each and every time. it's common for autistic people to be thought of as picky eaters with bland palates (because samefoods are often, but not always, the kinds of foods that are usually considered bland and plain) because of this.

admittedly, silver does say in one of his voice lines that he's not too picky when it comes to food, but the reason i'm applying this trait to him is because of jade's labwear vignette. lilia comments on the fact that silver is having mushroom risotto again and says he's always been like this and that he needs to broaden his palate, to which silver replies that he doesn't mind eating the same thing every single day. then, when he tries the risotto he gets so shocked that he freezes in place and lilia suspects that he's been poisoned, all because it turns out that the texture of the mushrooms is different that day. lilia says he doesn't see why that matters and asks if silver is sure he isn't just imagining it. this last bit is also interesting to me because autistic people are often overly sensitive to food texture, and get similar reactions as the one silver got from lilia when we try to talk about it. i feel like it's lucky that the changed texture of the mushrooms was one silver enjoyed, because it could've been very frustrating if his samefood was suddenly different in an unpleasant way.

and, i originally wanted to also include sections for some other small things, like how he's mentioned feeling his chest tense up around large crowds and having trouble relaxing in unfamiliar places, or his having a fairly limited range of interests and thinking that he's not fun to be around, or how he tends to communicate better with the animals that flock to him than with his schoolmates, but this post is already getting long so i figure i should go ahead and move onto the next thing i wanted to talk about:

throughout this post i've been saying that autistic people who share the traits that silver has are often thought of as stupid, annoying, unapproachable, and/or emotionless by those around us. we get bullied and looked down on for things that we can't really help. and that's exactly what happens to silver.

here's where i'm going to mention leona's ceremonial robes vignette once again! after the "you're dreaming" "i am very much awake" interaction, leona gets annoyed at silver for not understanding what he meant and says he must have a screw loose, and then ruggie says the following, right in front of silver:

leona then tricks silver with his lie--or, i guess technically it's more of a half-truth--about the greenhouse, an action which causes even ruggie to say he feels bad for silver. and later, when leona goes to diasomnia to confront malleus, this interaction occurs:

this vignette is just one of several examples of other students looking down on silver and taking advantage of his tendency to take people at face value and assume the best of them. not just ruggie and leona, but a significant amount of other students see silver as absent-minded, odd, and bothersome and have given him (along with kalim) an insulting nickname.

also, silver's flat affect and the cruel way that people treat him over it is the entire focus of his dorm uniform vignette. silver gets in trouble with crewel, who dismisses his apology because he doesn't "look" sorry, for falling asleep in class and has to collect everyone's reports. his classmates act polite to his face while he's collecting them but then as soon as he walks away they start talking about him behind his back, saying that because he always has the same expression on his face, he's unapproachable, exhausting to deal with, and probably doesn't even actually have emotions. silver overhears all this and instead of getting upset that his classmates are insulting him, saying completely ridiculous things and treating him like a burden, he puts the blame on himself and starts thinking he needs to change himself to fit in with them. he thinks he needs to be like kalim and tries unsuccessfully to get kalim and jamil to give him lessons on how to be more expressive. it's pretty common for autistic people to not even realize we're being treated unfairly and instead believe that we're the problem. it's also common for us to try and mask our autistic traits in order to fit in, and to try copying the behavior of those who seem socially successful and well-liked.

but, silver has people who understand him, who love him exactly as he is, and who don't believe he needs to change.

for one thing, kalim himself doesn't think silver needs to change. he says he thinks silver is really nice and isn't unapproachable at all, but he'll try to help him be more expressive if it's something he wants to work on. kalim is silver's best friend and has never wanted him to be anyone other than himself. and when sebek realizes what silver is doing he immediately thinks it's ridiculous and instead comes up with a plan for silver to be able to show his classmates that he isn't emotionless. malleus and lilia then spot the two of them training in the courtyard and talk about how much they love and care for silver, and how well they understand him.

also, that conversation that lilia and malleus have is one thing in particular that makes me really happy about this vignette and is a reason why i think silver is such unexpectedly good autistic rep (even though, again, he's not canonically autistic and probably wasn't written that way on purpose). because, when i read the endless halloween event i knew next to nothing about diasomnia, had read hardly any of their vignettes yet, and i said to my friend "i know they probably just want us to think silver is weird because he was raised by fae, but i think he's autistic coded." i assumed that him being a human who was raised by fae would be something you could use to explain away all of his quirks if you wanted to, and say that they're a result of that rather than of him possibly being autistic.

but seeing lilia and malleus talk about how they know that silver is an incredibly passionate and empathetic person, that they know he feels very strongly even though his emotions don't show on his face, and that they don't find him difficult to read at all, made me realize that lilia, malleus, and sebek are all fae (half-fae in sebek's case, but still) who are each very different from silver--and sure, i guess you could say that some of his communication issues might come from his upbringing as he never went to school or interacted with others his age very much before going to NRC. but he did grow up with sebek who, again, is half-human and very different from him. and his flat affect at least is explicitly not something that could come from his upbringing as lilia, malleus, and sebek are all at least as expressive as any human--if not even more-so in sebek's case. and from the way lilia and malleus talk about his inexpressivenesss, it seems clear that they know it's an unusual thing, probably not any more common for fae than it is for humans. it's just not a problem for them, because it's a natural part of who silver is and they love who he is.

and basically silver is just sooooo autistic.

when i originally got the idea to write this post i made a joke to my friend that it would be easier to just post a link to silver's twst wiki page as an explanation of why i think he's autistic. i mean, it really would've been since his autistic traits come through in so much of how his character is written and there's so much solid evidence for it. but instead of doing that i decided to autistically write a... *checks notes* 2500+ word essay overexplaining my headcanon because i just love him so so much. so in conclusion:

[pomrania]

There's lots of good bits in The Amelia Project (podcast), but I want to tell y'all about one in specific, where I think I can manage it without any spoilers.

So X and Y have had a lot of adventures together, and at a certain point in the podcast, they're both sharing their stories, but each to a different audience. To make things convenient, the stories are being told in the same order by both parties. How it normally happens is that say X will start introducing the story to their audience, then it'll switch to the story itself, then it goes back to X and their audience to discuss that story; then for the epilogue, we go to Y and Y's audience, where Y has just finished talking about the same adventure, and get to hear what those ones all have to say about it afterwards.

It's a great framing device, one that I think should be used more often by more writers. Not just "this is a story being told by a character", but there being MULTIPLE different instances of that same story being told, by and to different people, so we get a greater variety of possible responses.

Anyways, this particular bit starts with Y telling the story; in it, there's some introductory stuff to set up their then-current situation, then X leaves to buy a waffle, then the story happens to Y. (This isn't unusual, there's been prior bits where what we hear in the "story" segment was mostly just with one character, and the other character presumably had heard about it afterwards and so was able to tell that same story.) We finish up the story, hear how Y's audience responds to it. And then, the epilogue: X's audience says "why did you just talk about a really good waffle you'd had once".

[penguwastaken]

Danganronpa's Most Misunderstood Mastermind

*Obvious spoiler warning for Danganronpa 3, go watch it it's awesome

Danganronpa 3 is one of the more controversial entries in the series. While I'm not here to discuss all of the decisions it's made (many of which I think get way more hate in the fandom than they deserve), I do want to talk about one thing in particular that many seem to dislike: the mastermind.

In Danganronpa 3, we discover that the chairman of the Future Foundation, Kazuo Tengan, organized the killing game in order to manipulate Ryota Mitarai into releasing the Hope Video to create a world without despair, or rather without conflict.

Many criticize Tengan for seeming inconsistent in his motives or having an unnecessarily complicated plan. People have even gone around spreading the narrative that Kodaka himself was disappointed in Tengan being revealed as the mastermind, which makes no sense because not only is there no source to this, Kodaka himself literally worked on Danganronpa 3.

In my opinion, I feel like many of these criticisms are either unfounded or come from a poor understanding of the character. With this giant post I hope that maybe I can try helping people understand the point of Kazuo Tengan.

The Man Before

Before we discuss Tengan as the chairman of Future Foundation and mastermind of the killing game, it's best to understand his origins and where he came from.

Tengan was formerly the headmaster of Hope's Peak Academy before being succeeded by Jin Kirigiri, afterwards becoming the school's advisor. This is the first instance we see of a core trait of his, that being his distaste for conflict.

In his artbook profile, his dislikes are listed as just "conflict." His personality description reads:

"Former headmaster of Kibougamine. A good-natured old man who currently works as an advisor at the school. He understands what the academy is aiming to do, but questions if it’s true hope. He wants the main and prep school students alike to enjoy carefree school lives." -Translation Source

Tengan wants everyone to live a carefree life free of conflict, this is what hope is to Tengan. As an advisor, Tengan is able to voice his opinions on issues regarding school, particularly ones about the school's vision and ideology.

Tengan believes that hope comes from a world without conflict, one of peace. To him, conflict just creates despair.

Tengan questions many of the decisions made by Hope's Peak, and is personally against the Kamukura project. However, as just an advisor, he never forces his hand and gives Hajime the choice of whether or not he wants to participate on the project on his own. This ties into Tengan's core trait of hating conflict, allowing Hajime to make his own choice but still trying to persuade him into making a certain choice.

The Tragedy

Unfortunately as every one knows, Junko's plan succeeded and the world was plunged into despair.

Tengan made the decision to stay outside of Hope's Peak and help fight against despair, doing whatever he could in order to end the conflict.

The war began to take a toll on Tengan. He knew that all the fighting that the Future Foundation couldn't end the war. After all, violence creates more despair.

When Kyosuke asks Tengan why he changed, he simply responds with "Because I learned the way that we're doing things now will not eliminate despair."

Now the question is, how exactly did Tengan change? What made him become a "coward?"

It's revealed that before the killing game, Tengan obtained the despair video and watched it by his own volition as a last ditch effort to end the war. He knew that the conflict wouldn't end just by constantly fighting, so in a way this was him giving in. And with that, the old Tengan was gone, and he became another Remnant of Despair.

The Man After

Despite being brainwashed and having his mind reconditioned in the same as Class 77, he didn't align with their goals nor was he even a part of them. While his mind was twisted, his core traits and ideals remained.

It's worth noting that being brainwashed doesn't completely change who you are as a person. Just like how Nagito obsession with hope remained as a remnant, Tengan's desire to end conflict remained as well. The difference is that their methods became more extreme and subconsciously reflected despair more than hope.

As despair Tengan, he would go to whatever lengths it necessary to achieve "true hope," or in his eyes, peace.

In Danganronpa Gaiden, Tengan tells Kyosuke to let Misaki and Takumi decide what they want to do.

However, Tengan slips a bomb into Misaki's pocket as an extreme measure. As despair Tengan, he didn't lose the side of him that lets people choose what they wish to do, what changed is his method of persuading people getting more extreme.

The Final Plan to End All Conflict

During this time, Tengan began working on the plan that would end all conflict and despair once and for all. The war wouldn't end the way things were going, and more fighting would pointless. However, the perfect opportunity fell into his hands.

Tengan had discovered that Ryota not only developed the technology used in the Despair and Suicide videos, but that he was also working on a brand new Hope Video as well. With this, Tengan could put an end to the war once and for all.

With his immense power in the Future Foundation, he was able to make changes to the building in order to set up his very own automated killing game. He would take advantage of Makoto Naegi's trial to bring the top members of Future Foundation in one place, only to gas them and trap them in a killing game. Through word of mouth, Ryota would discover the killing game and release the Hope Video in order to end everything. Why did he choose to do it like this instead of just stealing the video? Well, it's pretty simple.

Looking at it realistically, tension was already brewing amongst Future Foundation. The chances of someone like Kyosuke who already wanted Tengan dead getting in the way were too high, so getting them out of the way so that way they can't affect his plan was important.

More importantly though, he wanted to give Ryota a choice. As we saw with the board of trustees, Hajime, Takumi, and Misaki, Tengan wants people to choose what he believes is true hope on their own. However, he's not opposed to persuasion, and as despair Tengan, his methods have only gotten more extreme. Obviously Ryota wouldn't possibly say no in a situation like this, and that was Tengan's plan.

Unfortunately Tengan made one mistake, Ryota showed up to the meeting uninvited. Unfortunately the word of mouth that Tengan intended to use to get Ryota to discover the killing game ended up causing Ryota to find out about the meeting and go there.

Unfortunately, once the gas was automatically released, Tengan couldn't just cancel the killing game, and it would be suspicious if everyone but Ryota vanished. As a result, he had to bring Ryota along with them and give him the wristband that was meant to be used for Yasuhiro.

The wristband prevented Ryota from using his talent, which may seem backwards on the surface, however it makes more sense when you think about it. If Ryota used his talent to make everyone stop fighting, then that would completely screw up the killing game.

So Tengan opted to protect Ryota until the killing game ended, and when he died, he left a message for Ryota inspiring him.

It's worth noting that Tengan didn't intend for the killing game to last forever. He knew at some point they'd regain connection with the outside world or discover the breaker room, which he intentionally hid behind an exit door to bait people to it. His plan was just to have it last long enough for Ryota to release the Hope Video without anything getting in his way. But now with Ryota with him, his plan shifted to protecting Ryota until the game ended.

But things were different now, Tengan was affected by the virus known as despair. Whether he was conscious of it or not, his plan to get rid of all conflict, to eliminate all despair, was just another form of despair in itself. Tengan's plan would inadvertantly bring more despair than hope.

And that is the very nature of Kazuo Tengan's plan! (dun dun dun)

So Basically

Tengan was a man who believed that true hope came from peace. His distaste for conflict was the driving force for many of his actions. While he encouraged people making their own choices, he aimed to persuade people into picking what he perceived as true hope.

When he was brainwashed as a result of his own desperation, his methods became more extreme and twisted and he didn't even realize. He believed that everything he did was for the greater good, to end all conflict, even if he had to manipulate people and go to extreme lengths to do it.

That's why Kazuo Tengan is such a great mastermind. In the end, Tengan's goal was to end all conflict and create what he thought was true hope. However his nature as a despair betrayed him, and unbeknownst to him, he would actually be creating another form of despair.

Conclusion

I feel like a lot of people underappreciate Tengan. In my opinion, he's such a cool character and belongs next to Junko, Izuru, and Monaca when discussing the masterminds of the Hope's Peak saga.

If I were to try to guess what caused Tengan to be so disliked, I'd say it has to be due to the quality of the dub which makes him more difficult to understand along with Danganronpa 3's (honestly undeserved) reputation in general.

There's a lot of really cool things about Tengan, like just how awesome it is that he's an old man with his chuusen. But unfortunately, he's just seen as the forgetable funny old guy from Danganronpa 3.

Maybe with this thread I was able to persuade you into reconsidering. However, in the spirit of Tengan, that's a choice for you to make. I'll still give my input though :)

[shihalyfie]

I've alluded to tri. having some very troubled production behind the scenes, and among everything that apparently went on back there, there seem to have been at least two major bottlenecks: 1) the fact that the director (who, based on his own statements about deliberately not consulting source material, most likely didn't even watch Adventure to begin with) kept asking everyone to make things more "mature" without being clear on what that actually meant, and 2) the fact they ran out of budget and had to rewrite the entire plot halfway into it. Even the most brilliant of creators probably wouldn't be able to work at their best under such conditions.

But conversely, this also means that there were some excellent people involved in production whose efforts probably haven't been as appreciated as they should be! So I want to take a moment to spotlight some people I want to give props to:

Ayana Yuniko and Nakanishi Yasuhiro: These two scriptwriters were childhood Digimon fans who were thrilled to be on the project, and their enthusiasm clearly shows in every interview they were in. Ayana even made keen observations like noticing that the Adventure kids aren't as super-tight as people tend to make them out to be (something I've pointed out myself, and something that generally only tends to crop up among fans who have studied the series closely), and Nakanishi stated that she would slip him detailed notes about the characters and their relationships.

Both of them stated they were trying to portray the Adventure characters in a character-accurate way but kept getting their scripts rejected for not being "mature" enough, leaving them unsure about what they were supposed to do. Their roles on the series were also limited; Ayana was on parts 1, 2, and 4 while Nakanishi was on part 4 only, and they were sharing the scriptwriter role with multiple others (even within a single movie). But if I were asked to pick who on the staff list I would want to see come back for another Digimon work, it would absolutely be these two.

Kakikara Yuuko: The one in charge of overall writing for the series. tri. had a total of five scriptwriters and could have up to four(!) on a given movie, so because of that, her statements on the series and its story direction have been a bit difficult to tell whether it was her idea personally or whether she was delivering the writing room's discussion result. But one of her final statements on the series basically amounted to "I'm grateful if you even came to watch it to the end at all," and she was quite humble about saying she felt things could have been done differently; considering it sounds like she had a hard time keeping everyone and everything in order, I can only imagine she went through a lot trying to make sure everything ended safely. Incidentally, her writing portfolio is also quite respectable (and even includes kids' shows).

Suzuki Takaaki: The person with the job of "setting researcher", i.e. the one with the job of looking into the lore. Sadly, it seems like most of his ideas didn't make it into the final series (possibly because of the budget loss-induced rewrite), but his one solo interview indicates that he put quite a bit of conscientious thought into how Digital World lore works, including the idea of an EMP weapon that would affect Digimon easily but not humans (an idea that doesn't pop up among fans as often as you'd think, and took up until last year to make it into actual Adventure material via Takeru's 02TB in-universe fanfic).

Sakabe Gou: The person in charge of the series BGM. We haven't heard a lot from him, but the little we have indicates that although he also had difficulty understanding what the director was asking for when he wanted "mature" music of some kind, he himself put some very thorough thought put into the composition. In particular, he went into detail regarding the music used at the beginning of part 4, which seems to be a fan-favorite track from what I've seen (it's also my favorite too!). Sakabe also has an extensive and respectable portfolio outside Digimon; in particular, he's very highly regarded in Kamen Rider circles, so if you have a friend who's a fan, it might be a good idea to ask them about it!

[writerblue275]

Collaborating with Heartsteel!Kayn (ft. the rest of Heartsteel!)

Inspiration: Music by Against the Current. Specifically “Burn it Down,” “Again & Again,” “Blindfolded,” “that won’t save us,” “Wildfire,” and so many other of their songs. Been super into their music lately.

Character: Heartsteel!Kayn (but also the rest of Heartsteel is mentioned)

Genre: Headcanon

Type: Fluff. Slight angst at beginning due to plot but it resolves.

Gender: Gender Neutral reader!

Tw: slight angst. Slightly low self esteem at parts. Shitty “friends” (not Heartsteel). Swearing.

Note: Honestly up to reader’s interpretation if there are romantic undertones in this or not. Truly I’m writing it neutrally where I can see either the reader and Kayn having only a platonic, but close, friendship, or have things develop into something more through/after the process. Up to you, besties.

You’ve known Kayn for years. Your musical stylings were very similar and your band and his old band ran in the same circles, though his former group was far more popular than yours while he was still a member.

You were the bassist/vocalist for your group and he played guitar for his.

Because of that genre overlap, overtime, you and him developed a friendship and often just hung out together, enjoying each other’s company.

Most of the time these were just hangouts in one of your rooms, improvising/riffing, having fun, and writing songs.

As you did, overtime you two discussed releasing some sort of project together, but the timing never seemed to be quite right.

Then well…Kayn was kicked out of his former band.

So all professional collab ideas were put on the back burner as you quickly and heavily focused on being there for your friend as he went through the toughest spot in his career.

Even when things got a bit ugly, you made sure he knew you were there to support him and that you believed in him and his talents.

Knowing someone was in his corner really helped him get to a better place again and he really thinks very highly of you because of what you did to support him.

In fact, when Kayn was approached by Aphelios about joining Heartsteel, he even asked for your opinion because he trusts your judgement.

And of course you encouraged him to go for it, knowing how much he missed performing.

You also had a good feeling about the group, especially if they wanted to have Kayn join even after all the shit that went down with his past group. It just felt like Kayn and Rhaast would be welcomed, and that made you happy.

You’re one of the very few people who he’s comfortable being Rhaast around. You’ve never judged him for his creative process and in fact have always been willing to accommodate it without judgement.

So needless to say, Kayn grew to respect you immensely.

As he settled into Heartsteel, he was happy to watch as your group continued to grow more and more successful. It also seemed like, even with the rising fame, your band all got along with each other.

That joy was something he appreciated even more now that he found his own group he felt at home with (Heartsteel).

Between your group’s rising fame and Heartsteel’s, that did mean you and Kayn weren’t able to hang out as much as you used to, and occasionally there were long periods of time where the two of you weren’t able to chat and keep each other up to date on stuff.

Which was why Kayn was stunned when he saw a social media post from your band announcing your departure from the group and who your replacement was.

The way the band worded the post, it seemed like the decision was mutual for both parties.

So Kayn was even more shocked to see a post on your personal accounts detailing how no, it wasn’t amicable, actually.

You were pushed out from your position in the group to make room for the lead guitarist’s sibling who also sang and played bass.

A situation of classic and full blown nepotism. It was a decision made behind your back and your former band didn’t even have the decency to talk to you about it before posting the announcement.

You found out about your removal via socials at the same time the public did. (That’s fucked up fr.)

Understandably, you were livid.

You were always a true professional when it came to both your music and your behavior while in the group, and you were regarded as one of the most talented bassists/vocalists in the genre. To hear you were pushed out due to nepotism was a shock for everyone in the industry.

(It also caused a lot of people to lose quite a bit of respect for your old band.)

While your captions of your posts on the topic remained professional, the hurt you were feeling was very clear in your words.

You’d considered your former band mates to be some of your closest friends. Them disregarding and disrespecting you like this stung a lot.

Thankfully so many of your fans immediately showed you support on your socials.

You’ve always loved and appreciated your fans and have always been vocal regarding your gratitude when it comes to their support. Because of that, you personally had a passionate subgroup of fans within your old group’s fan base.

Even with their support though, this was obviously a very rough time for you.

Kayn couldn’t help but feel upset for you. He knew how this situation felt and it definitely wasn’t great.

He left a comment on your post: “Fuck them and fuck that bullshit. You’re too talented for them. Let’s talk.”

That caused a lot of whispers. Most fans weren’t aware of your years-long friendship with Heartsteel’s main rebel.

The press went crazy. “Are they together??” “How do they know each other?” “Does this mean we’re getting a collab between (Y/N) and Heartsteel??” (Spoiler alert: Yes. Yes it does. 😂.)

(While you found the rumors and whispering silly, they did make you smile and laugh so that’s good.)

So you found a time to meet up with Kayn and just catch up on how things were going for each other.

He really was so supportive of you, making sure you realized you did nothing wrong and giving you the space and time to vent out everything you were feeling about the situation.

Kayn was getting his chance to repay what you did for him (though he hated that circumstances arose where he had to do so).

While chatting with you, he asked about some of the music you’d been writing, curious to see how things were coming along since he’d last seen you.

You showed him some of the songs/lyrics you’d been writing to process your grief and anger at the bullshit you found yourself in. Music had always been your comfort place and, despite the shitty situation, that hadn’t changed.

Kayn was super impressed by your work and he had an idea.

Kayn leaned forward across the cafe table you two were situated at. “What if we collabed on something? Like actually released a song together? Or shit, we could do an EP. We talked about doing so in the past. I think now is the perfect time. You can show those traitors you don’t need them.”

You looked surprised. “Really? Do you think we could? You have your Heartsteel obligations and I’d hate to take you away from those. Not to mention we don’t have enough people for it. I’ve got bass and vocals covered and you have guitar on lock, but who would play drums for us?”

He grinned. “(Y/N), I think it’s because of Heartsteel we’d be able to release something like this. The guys know I’ve been writing other stuff besides raps and they agreed to help me with any sort of solo or collaborative project I’m passionate about.”

Your eyebrows went up. “Oh really? That’s extremely supportive of them. I’m glad you have that.”

Kayn chuckled and nodded. “Things have definitely been looking up for me lately. But anyway, as for drums, Aphelios recently asked if I needed drums for anything. He’s been dying to break out his set again. So he’d definitely help us there.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Glad to hear that. But what about the sound production and mixing side of things? I only know the very basics.”

“Yone is one of the best producers in the industry and Aphelios has also been working alongside him on our projects. Between the two of them, I trust they’ll do right by us.”

You bit your lip before tapping your notebook. “Kayn, do you really think there’s enough in here for a solid EP? Would people listen?”

He tapped your note pad, “The lyrics in here are excellent, (Y/N), and knowing you, you already have melodies planned out. Besides, you and I were both pushed out of our former bands. That alone will create an insane amount of intrigue around any collaboration we do. I can tell you’re nervous about this, but let’s take a risk. Who knows what good might come out of it?”

His excitement and passion made the decision easy. You’d do it. You’d collab with him/Heartsteel (as long as the others were ok with it, especially Alune, Yone, and Aphelios).

They absolutely were. Yone loved the idea of producing more rock/alternative tracks. It was a genre he hadn’t really dipped his talents into yet.

Phel? Oh he agreed IMMEDIATELY when you and Kayn asked him to be the drummer for the project.

(A/N: I have such a vivid image in my head of Heartsteel!Aphelios just rocking the fuck out on drums and it’s GREAT. If only I could draw, damnit!)

And Alune thought the project would be a great way to drum up publicity for all involved, so she was all for it.

As were the other Heartsteel members. They helped out in their own ways too!

They’re really surprised (in a good way) by Kayn’s passion when it came to helping you. If it was such a big deal to him, they were going to do what they could to make this happen successfully!

K’Sante and Ezreal worked together to plan and direct a music video for the lead single (nothing extravagant. Just a cool looking performance video.)

Ezreal also helped with background vocals on the tracks.

Sett and K’Sante designed and helped make outfits for the MV and any performances you guys did.

You were super touched by how much they all helped you on this. Even though you were essentially a stranger, all of Heartsteel enthusiastically welcomed you in as a new friend and collaborator.

That made the entire creative process easy for you, which is what everyone wanted. You were stressed enough.

Recording the EP was so fucking fun? Truly your recording sessions were you, Kayn, and Aphelios rocking out with each other and doing what you do best. Performing some damn good music.

(A/N: Listen Kayn playing electric guitar has me in a fucking chokehold. He’d be so sexy with it and Jdnfjrnsnfjxkxnfjrkdnfjdk.)

After the recording sessions finished, you and Kayn were heavily involved in the production/mixing process with Yone and Aphelios. They always took your suggestions and thoughts seriously, and they genuinely had a lot of fun producing this project for you and Kayn.

With your past group, usually you just recorded and then your record label made all the important post-recording creative decisions. You just showed up where and when you needed to.

So having the ability and power to be so involved in the creative process/decisions for this project felt really liberating and wonderful. Heartsteel always made sure you felt seen and listened to when you made your opinions known.

(And the one time someone a prop-maker for the MV did kinda brush off your opinions, Kayn immediately backed you up.)

Speaking of creative decisions, usually you’re not a petty person…but you and Kayn decided to release the project around the same time you knew your former group was planning to release their own project. Because why the fuck not?

And when it came to deciding the logistics of the release (who it would release under/any features, etc…,) they gave you first artist credit. (It was Kayn’s request, but he didn’t have to try to convince the rest of them at all. They thought it was more than fair.)

Honestly Kayn, Aphelios, and Yone tried to convince you to just give them feature/production credit but you downright refused.

This was a true collaboration and you wanted to make sure people knew that. You were beyond grateful for Heartsteel’s role in this project.

The HYPE and anticipation surrounding this RP? Absolutely insane. People could not stop talking about it. And any sort of teasers/behind-the-scenes stuff you released on social media received so many interactions and comments expressing support for you and excitement for the release.

It made Kayn happy because he just KNEW your former group must be beyond annoyed. But in his eyes, fuck them. They didn’t care about your feelings when it came to kicking you out of the group so why should you take theirs into account? (<- He definitely said that to you more than once throughout the whole creative process.)

And once the EP was released (along with the lead single’s MV? Holy. SHIT. Things absolutely popped off.

Both fans and critics praised your work, particularly the raw and relatable emotions in the lyrics you wrote. Of course the music itself was praised too. Yone and Phel rightfully received a lot of kudos for their roles in the production of the music.

As did Kayn, ofc! Fans were thrilled to have Kayn back on guitar again and loved seeing him rock tf out with you and Phel in the music video.

The MV was also praised for its simplistic but impactful emphasis on the performance of the song. The visuals were amazing, though understated, and people thought your outfits looked cool as hell.

So many media outlets asked for interviews and such! It was wild! But it was super fun to explain to the public how you and Kayn knew each other and how this EP came to be! And Kayn always let you take the lead on questions since in his mind, this was your moment and he was just happy to be along for the ride. (One of the few times Kayn has ever been truly humble.)

(Also, lmaooo, Kayn definitely was throwing subtle shade onto your former group throughout all the interviews and when he did talk. You might not be a typically petty person, but he was. And he held quite a grudge against them now.)

You, Kayn, and Phel decided to do a mini series of concerts performing the project. Definitely not a full tour or anything, but it was just a chance for you to keep performing these songs that mean so much to you.

And every single concert? Sold out very quickly after tickets went on sale.

Those concerts were an absolute blast btw. You’ve never had so much fun performing before them. (Shout out to Alune for making sure each concert ran smoothly. You always made sure to thank her and buy her food after every concert, so now you are definitely on her favorites list!)

Also, because of your EP and concert series, you were scouted by a different band, another really well-respected group in the genre, who just lost their bassist/one of their vocalists. They really loved your lyric writing on the EP and wanted that talent on their team. (And of course they love your voice and your talents on bass!)

So even beyond this project, now you have a new group to call home! WOOHOO! (Kayn was so fuckin excited when you told him. His level of excitement was very unexpected but sweet!)

Needless to say the project was a total personal and professional success (and completely overshadowed your old band’s release hehehehehehe).

It allowed you to keep finding your joy in music even after a shitty situation, and you got to reconnect with someone you cared about (Kayn, duh).

Also working with Kayn and the other members of Heartsteel was just so fun.

They enjoyed working with you just as much. Through Kayn they let you know they’d be down for another collab, with you alone or with your new group, if you ever wanted to do another one.

(And while he didn’t say it out loud, Kayn’s definitely thinking: please collaborate with ME SPECIFICALLY again. Please please please please please *deep breath* please please please please.)

And you let him know you’d love to!

Thank you so very much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! I apologize for the infrequent posts. Life is very hectic at the moment but I’m still here, loving my fandoms! I’m hoping to start writing a little more since I’ve been feeling inspired lately!💙

[musicalmoritz]

this gonna be a weird question but ever since i have know Aoinene. I have always found a consistent theme of Aoi being a lesbian. While it cool, interesting and all, it hard to found anything canonically to use to prove the interpretation beyond "it just a vibe" . It doesnt interfer with the shipping experience but it still an interesting HC that i would love to found some canon material to build on.

I’m so glad you asked this, I’ve been trying to find a way to talk about my feelings on the lesbian Aoi headcanon for a while now. I’ve written it in my own fics a lot but I have some issues with the way people treat it so I’d like to make this a more nuanced discussion

First off, where does it come from? To answer that question you have to keep in mind that as the manga chapters were being released, fans had no idea where AidaIro planned to go with Aoi and Akane’s relationship beyond what they could infer. While it seems obvious in hindsight that Aoi always liked Akane, a lot of lesbian readers overlooked those hints because they were able to relate to being pursued by a relentless man that they didn’t want. They found comfort in Aoi’s character because her perceived disinterest in Akane was something they could connect to their own experiences with their male best friends falling for them

Then we have this scene, which is a whole rollercoaster in and of itself. At this point in the manga, fans didn’t know Aoi was faking her personality. She only existed as Nene’s popular best friend, the girl with the rumors. And, of course, the girl who kept rejecting Akane. Aoi and Nene seemed to have a very close friendship, so when this scene came out, many readers jumped to the conclusion that Aoi planned to confess to Nene. This, coupled with her constant rejection of Akane, led many fans to believe Aoi was a lesbian. Not just as a cool headcanon, but as an actual theory. To this day some fans still call her queercoded, and that’s where I have a bit of an issue with the headcanon

Because, despite all of this, Aoi isn’t a lesbian in canon. She’s not even coded to be one. In fact her and Akane’s characters aren’t able to develop without each other. Some fans chalk this up to bad writing or lesbiphobia, stating that Aoi never showed interest in Akane up until chapter 69, but this simply isn’t true. There were numerous hints that Aoi liked Akane back, since his feelings for her were first introduced. She’s shown to be absolutely devastated at the possibility of him dating someone else, and in the Clock Keepers arc we see that she’s been encouraging his pursuit of her this whole time. Fans may not like them, but it’s impossible to deny they’ve been set up since the beginning of the manga- on both sides

However, if you were to call Aoi sapphic coded/bi coded in canon, you wouldn’t be far off. In the Hanako-Kun Of Magic au, Mei fell in love with Aoi through a spell. After the spell wore off, they were confirmed to still hang out. They hang out so frequently, that it makes Mei’s little sister jealous because Aoi is stealing all her attention

It wouldn’t be a reach to assume they’re dating in this au, which would make Aoi bi or bi-coded in canon (though it’s very up to interpretation so I wouldn’t say she’s as strongly bi-coded as Kou or even Nene). It rubs me the wrong way when people discuss her potential queercoding and entirely ignore her feelings for Akane just because they don’t like the ship, it feels biphobic. It’s also been implied that Aoi has liked men (or people in general) other than Akane, he joins school clubs based on whoever her current type is

Canon aside though, I’d like to talk about why people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. Namely, why I still like it in fanon despite feeling that it has a very weak basis in canon. Because for some fans, Aoi’s true personality reveal only made their love of the lesbian Aoi headcanon stronger

Remember how I said fans overlooked Aoi’s feelings for Akane because they projected onto her? I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with that as long as they aren’t bringing their bias into analyses. I’ve read many Aoi queercoding analyses where the creator completely ignores Aoi’s attraction to men in canon due to their own projection, and I hate to say it but that is a bad way to analyze. I’ve mentioned before that I strongly relate to Nene’s shallow crushes on men because they remind me of my own experiences with comphet, but I would never call Nene lesbian coded because that would ignore her entire arc with Hanako. Project onto characters all you want but leave that out of your analyses

Anyways, the reveal that Aoi had been faking her personality only gave the lesbian Aoi headcanon more fuel. At this point in the manga, fans were already fully convinced that Aoi was a lesbian…so to find out the pretty popular girl was hiding her true self from the world?? I mean that sounds queercoded as hell. And I won’t lie, I relate to that a lot too. The need to hide who you really are is a nearly universal queer experience, so pretty much any character that has that storyline is going to hit home for a lot of queer readers. That same trope also plays into Mitsuba’s queercoding, so yeah. Despite all the romance stuff with Akane that happened in those chapters, the big takeaway for lesbian Aoi truthers was that Aoi had been hiding a part of herself that the world would shame her for

This is furthered by her relationship with femininity. Aoi plays the role of the ideal popular girl, a common archetype in media. These girls are feminine, passive, kind, humble, and all the boys love them. That is the image Aoi presents to the rest of the school. However, the real Aoi is nothing like that. I wouldn’t go as far as to call her masculine, but she doesn’t act like the poster child for femininity when she’s being her true self. She’s bitter, arrogant, spiteful, and she only really cares about two people. Lesbians tend to have a very complicated relationship with femininity, because heteronormativity asserts that the defining trait of being a woman is your relationship to a man. As a woman, you are someone’s wife, daughter, mother, sister. So when a woman has no interest in men, she loses a core part of her “femininity.” Some lesbians choose to embrace this, they have no interest in femininity so they perform whatever gender presentation they want. Other lesbians reclaim femininity as something defined by themselves, not society. So when lesbians see a character faking her personality to conform to the societal expectations for her gender…oops she’s one of us now lol. This is also why the transmasc Aoi headcanon is popular, though I won’t be getting into that today

There are more simplistic reasons people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. It fits a trope, the popular girl who’s pressured to be perfect is secretly a lesbian. Then she falls for her fun and quirky bisexual best friend. Unfortunately this is where the headcanon gets very boiled down, people want Aoi to be something that she’s not in canon. They want her to be a trope rather than her own, unique character. The aesthetic girlboss lesbian. She hates Akane and has a huge crush on Nene, maybe some mommy issues and that’s all there is to her. I don’t like these type of headcanons very much, they reduce queerness to an aesthetic rather than an experience. As I mentioned, the lesbian Aoi headcanon does have potential for fanon content, but some fans sadly reduce it to a stereotype

I’ve written both bisexual and lesbian Aoi, and I think they both have their perks. Lesbian Aoi requires a bit of stretching/rewriting of canon, which can be fun but it has to be handled very carefully. Otherwise you get fics that villainize Akane and ignore Aoi and Nene’s complexities. It’s perfectly fine to project onto a character and headcanon them a certain way for comfort, but in terms of characterization I would recommend people try to look past those biases when they’re writing analyses. Fanfic is a bit different bcuz that depends on whether or not you’re trying to stay in character lol, this might be controversial but some writers just don’t care and that’s fine too. They’re just writing it for fun, it doesn’t have to be that serious. Still, I would like to see more fics that keep Aoi and Nene closer to canon (they absolutely exist dw)

The reason I hesitated for so long to address this headcanon is because I wanted to find a way to talk about it sensitively. Queer fans, especially lesbians, already get a lot of flack for their headcanons and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was invalidating anyone’s experiences. If the lesbian Aoi headcanon brings you comfort then, yes, Aoi can absolutely be a lesbian. Fandom is about fan enjoyment, not authorial intent, so headcanon the characters however you want. Just don’t push those headcanons into others, and try to at least be aware of what’s going on in canon. And again, don’t write an analysis if you’re going to be biased. A better way to do it would be something like “I recognize that AidaIro didn’t go this route but it would’ve been interesting if they made Aoi a lesbian.” An analysis like that might have some weight to it!! Aoi and Akane are a super cute ship, but another straight relationship is nothing revolutionary in fiction. However, canon lesbians in a shonen series?? That’s something you don’t see every day. People have valid reasons for wishing Aoi had been written differently, I just wish they would accept that she didn’t get written that way rather than ignoring canon

Sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting, I hope I explained all sides of the headcanon well enough. Tbh a lot of it is just “vibes” but once you look past the surface, it goes a lot deeper. I also want to clarify that Aoi faking her personality reading as queercoding could absolutely work with her being bi too, bisexuals also have to hide a part of themselves and that’s something other lgbtq+ individuals often overlook. The reason it reads specifically as lesbian coding to some fans is because of her projection of femininity being fake so, by extension, her encouragement of the men who pursue her must be too. That’s obviously not canon but some fans believe it would’ve been a cool route to go. Okay that’s it I think I covered everything lol

Thanks again for the ask, I’m glad I finally got the opportunity to talk abt this <3

[genevawrenn]

I haven't said too much on the QSMP situation so I am going to try to at least share my thoughts, as of right now.

First of all : thank you to everyone in this project who did their best through adversity and a corrupt management, you all deserve the world.

To the eggs & capys & penguins & every other admin I will remember the characters you gave us for the rest of my life. Thank you, this past year has been one of my best creativity-wise and I have written nearly as much for this fandom as I did DSMP. You taught me a lot about character writing and found families in times of chaos, I will always think of you fondly.

Now, I want to discuss a few of the things I am disappointed with.

Starting off with how the egg arc ended.

Stories, to have full meaning and impact to me, leave the endings at a point where you want what's best for the characters. You want a chance to see the character development bloom [Hideduo mainly] and having it be so abrupt left us all reeling. It was so awfully familiar as someone who came from DSMP, it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

I do not blame the admins or ccs one bit here.

It's more...I wish there had been at least one last hurrah. Something Avengers level where we watched them all team up, clear out the Federation and maybe the Watcher too, and leave peacefully. Something that gave them all that one last interaction, a reminder of how through trials and trouble anyone on that island would have given their life for any child, their own or otherwise.

Every single person who woke up on that island went through development and due to miscommunication and watching the server slowly perish for months, it feels horrific to watch them all die one by one without being able to see the fruits of their labour. I am begging for fan made content to fill the hole in my heart left by that ending.

It hurts so much because I loved them all so deeply.

I mained Death Family content because I came into this fandom as a crow and adored how their little unit came to be. A son and a daughter with their damaged father who always did their best for one another. Sure, only one *maybe* was good at communication but they all tried. The effort was there. And the old crow hermit on the wall slowly became one of the most trusted members of the island due to the dedication for his family and friends.

Then I slowly became interested in FitMC's content after watching him hang out with Phil for months, and became a huevito instantly. The relationship he created in /rp with Pac was the first time in a long time I allowed myself to indulge in romance-based content [coming from a former SBI main, that should make sense]. I still remember the panic seeing the shipping art covering my timelines and checking boundaries before I realised this was something they both encouraged.

Fit and Pac came to represent a lot in my heart ; two damaged people moving at the pace both decided in order to form the family neither of them ever had. An ex prisoner and a veteran of toxic wastelands found home in one another's lives, enough they allowed their precious children to become bonded with their significant other.

They never said I love you, instead showed it through acts of service and protecting each other without question. They may not have kissed but they were always beside each other within the same space, only a short step away in case either needed support.

I will miss you forever, your characters were fantastic. I hope there are many more collabs in the future, your dynamic means a ton to a lot of people now.

Same goes to many more characters on that island I don't have the energy to do full write ups on but please know, you occasionally show up in my thoughts and another wave of mourning what I love passes over me. Death and Rosa Family were the ones I fixated on, nearly instantly, and I will create using them for a long time. I want to write their characters in a way that satisfies me, I still have to match my level of DSMP writing and beyond after all.

I want to also send appreciation to the streamers I found because of QSMP, it did what was intended and broke language barriers in ways I will forever be grateful to the translations mods that are becoming more common so I can still watch their content.

Cellbit, Baghera, Etoiles, PacTW, Mike, Roier, Luzu, you all are so cool! I enjoy your content and can't wait to watch more in the future.

Philza, Tubbo, Foolish, Charlie Slimecicle, Jaiden, Badboyhalo, FitMC, some of you I knew before and some I got to know better now, I adore you all.

All I hope for at this point is any future project takes what needs to be learned from watching this server slowly implode and please treat your employees right. Especially in creative ventures, we need the hope there can be confidence people are being treated right behind the scenes.

And to any of the QSMP CC's, I beg there are gaming collaborations and meetups in the future. You all have fantastic chemistry and I hope the families that were formed can continue to support each other.

To the admins. Thank you. I could say it a thousand times over and it would never be enough. You endured literal purgatory because you loved the plots and people so much, you deserve only the best in your future.

I intend to indulge in the egg content for the forseeable future, even if at this point I will just be VOD watching but there are still a few POV's I have wanted to watch in full and now seems like the best time. I do have several WIP I wish to finish and they make perfect inserts if I ever need characters for any new plots I imagine in the future.

Saudade QSMP Egg Arc 2023-2024. You taught me a lot within the short period of a year, you united many communities and heres to hoping we stick together long into the future.

I am sorry for the long post, I needed to spill my thoughts somewhere and tumblr's blogging format is ideal.

Let’s keep creating content surrounding the eggs and families we now miss. I understand if many move on but to me, this interest is one I will remember forever and happily talk about to anyone willing to hear me out. Just like Techno, they live on through me as long as I remember them.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Storm/The Eye, Pt. 5

Believing that Weir is dead and McKay is in mortal peril, Sheppard proceeds to go on what amounts to a rampage.

The first scene of The Eye (S01E10) seems to continue the show's meta-commentary. McKay, brave toaster that he is and possibly at least partially motivated by the desperation that they can all hear in Sheppard's voice over the intercom, places himself between the gun and Elizabeth. The dialogue tells us what's going on (with the show and where it's heading):

Kolya: Sheppard put you in this position, not me. McKay: You can't do this. This is crazy. You need her! Sora: She's right, Commander. McKay: I'm not kidding. There are codes required to activate the shield – codes that only she knows. You can't do it without her! Well, you can't do this without me either. I mean, we're a package deal. You take us out of the equation and-and-and-and you don't have an end game.

The fact that Weir and McKay are a package deal is emphasized by their placement, McKay coming to stand in front of Weir and obstructing her. That is to say, the show needs to imply attraction between Weir and Sheppard to be able to explore the relationship between Sheppard and McKay in subtext, to blur the lines between the characters and their relationships. The first they could easily have done without the latter, but the latter they could never have pulled off without the former (re: the shows ties to the USAF and DADT still being a thing when it aired). It offers the cover of plausible deniability while allowing people attuned to homoerotic subtext to easily be able to recognize the narrative undercurrent.

Again, note that McKay is lying to save Weir, claiming that he absolutely needs her help to save the city. Also, it's Kolya mentioning Sheppard by name that initially makes McKay dive in front of the gun. He says "Sheppard put you into this position, not me" which has the implication that if McKay allowed Kolya to shoot Weir, Sheppard would have to live with the guilt of it for the rest of his life, and McKay wasn't about to let that happen. He hears Sheppard's name and he immediately reacts, does something really brave and heroic without even having time to think about it. Because, as I've discussed previously, he is a Big Damn Hero and this very characteristic of his is what Sheppard admires and loves in him so much, even though he doesn't even get to see it this time.

Halfway through his rant McKay realizes that he just put himself into jeopardy, and this is when he starts consciously doing the same thing he has been doing with the Genii ever since their first encounter: trying to convince them of his invaluability (and it's striking that it's always in the service of trying to save someone else, not just or even predominately himself). He has self-esteem issues, he doesn't actually believe he's invaluable. But probably since he was a child he's had to project invaluability, has had to prove to people that he is a valuable asset, to gain acceptance. He thinks that he will only be tolerated if he proves himself irreplaceable.

The characters continue lying to one another. Kolya lets Sheppard know that Weir is dead.

I want to point out two things. Where Sheppard was extremely agitated just a moment ago, willing to do anything, he is extremely and exaggeratedly calm when he tells Kolya that he is going to kill him. Of course he is very upset that Weir should have been killed on his watch. Of course he cares about Weir and is upset by this. But again knowing the outcome changed his demeanor. Sure, responding in a cool and collected way is a performance to hide the fact that he is internally shaken. But he still manages to pull it off.

Then Kolya continues with "Stay out of my way or McKay will join her." That is when we get a brief glimpse at how Sheppard is actually feeling, his internal conflict and anguish (and which is something that he has no intention of letting Kolya know, hence putting the radio down):

Now. My friends. When you desperately need something, you need something so badly that you're willing to kill for it, you start killing off things from the least important to the most important. Like when a parent starts counting down from ten when they're warning a child that unless they cease their behaviour, they're going to "get it". You don't start from one, you start from ten and count downwards.

If Kolya had thought that Weir was Sheppard's main motivation, he would not have started by killing her off. Never mind how important McKay may have been, you keep the ace up your sleeve as long as you can. And Kolya had decided that the ace up his sleeve was McKay, which is why he reminds Sheppard that he is, in fact, still very much holding him hostage.

Again, the main stream audience is going to watch the show thinking Sheppard's entire upset has to do with Weir and Weir alone. And yet we always seem to find McKay between references to Weir and changes in Sheppard's demeanor. And once more, given what we saw of their interaction in the previous episode (Sheppard barely saw Weir when the three of them were in the lab together; he was so focused on McKay it's as though she weren't even there for him; we've really had zero indication of him harbouring some hidden secret passion for her that would explain this reaction; she is not the love of his life and a budding interest would not even begin to explain his reaction here), it makes so much more sense to interpret this reaction and the events that follow as motivated by McKay. Especially in the context of him having lost Captain Holland to enemy combatants in Afghanistan, as we later learn.

Also notice that once Kolya mentions McKay, Sheppard doesn't respond. There are probably a hundred things he could have said, maybe even wanted to say. You can read it all on his face. But he doesn't say anything because he doesn't dare do anything that might provoke this sociopath further. He actually has to stop himself from saying something he might regret. He can't risk responding. Like, he physically has to force his hand down to keep from say something that McKay might end up paying for.

Sheppard was afraid that he wasn't going to be able to save the people he cares about from the storm before, but this is a whole new kind of fear. This is a nightmare of the kind he had never even thought to have. But he's going to move heaven and earth to save the man. He's even willing to kill to save him. Kill a lot of people to save him, as it turns out.

And it is also noteworthy that he immediately springs into action, here. We've seen previously how characters are incapacitated when they lose someone important to them (cf. Cowen sitting down with his legs giving way when he mourns Tyrus). Sheppard is the opposite of incapacitated (in fact, we see him incapacitated in this particular fashion in Doppelganger, S04E04, when he thinks McKay is dead, so we see what Sheppard is like when he's lost the most important thing to him; he's slow, sluggish, going through the motions). This is not a man going through the motions, this is a man on a mission.

Again we get a transition from Sheppard's emotion to the raging storm to indicate that there's a storm also raging within him. The storm is a metaphor for what's going on inside him. And the calmness with which he then proceeds to take out the Genii is him being in the eye of the storm. Because the show is subtle with the symbolism like that.

Sheppard is moving fast, he's being strategic. He's not someone that's blinded by rage on a revenge mission because someone just killed the love of his life. He's also not acting reckless, putting himself needlessly in danger and this is not because he has some payback to do and someone to kill but because he has someone to save. You can contrast all of this with Sora's behaviour later on with regards to her vengeance against Teyla.

He even stops to check his watch at one point because he remembers McKay's words about them being under a time element, that there's a deadline looming over them all -- this is reinforced by the fact that the previous time Sheppard checked his watch, it was on the balcony right after McKay had just checked his watch (unwittingly mirroring someone's actions, again a sign of attraction; although synchronizing watches is also a very military thing to do, to be sure) and told them they have just over four and a half hours until the storm hits.

We are literally told that it's McKay he's thinking about when he stops and actually asks himself, "What would McKay do?" Again reminding us of the fact that for Sheppard, McKay is a hero. That McKay is constantly on his mind.

I also need to emphasize that he is killing actual people here. Yes, they're enemies but they are also human. This is the first time we see him kill humans after the mercy killing of Col. Sumner.

McKay starts fixing the grounding station and it's really quite sweet how he attempts to make it look like Elizabeth is vital to the process to keep her alive. It's not that he's trying to be a hero, it just comes naturally to him. He's not very good with people, though, so Elizabeth both has to explain to him that they need to stall and to actually lie on his behalf. When they overhear that Sheppard has killed some of the Genii strike force over the intercom, it's again only McKay's reaction that we get to this, not Weir's. He made a mental note of it albeit he does not seem to know what to think of it. Sheppard is alive, yes. He's being hunted by people with guns. And he's having to do terrible things.

McKay really is quite rattled, never having been in this kind of situation before. And it's interesting that Weir uses Sheppard to kick McKay into gear. She actually mentions Sheppard by name: "Look, from the sound of it, if we can buy Sheppard enough time, it seems like he can take care of the rest of them on his own." Not only had she figured out that this is what would motivate McKay the best, she is actually getting him to focus by appeasing him, pointing it out to him that Sheppard is really doing quite well for himself out there. She's not telling him that they're going to be alright, she's telling him that Sheppard is safe. Because for some reason she thinks that that's what will motivate him.

And Kolya does the opposite. He's trying to demoralize them by mentioning Sheppard by name: "If you're hoping Major Sheppard can diminish our numbers, you are mistaken." And notice that he is saying this to McKay. He glances at Weir a few times but when he is saying this, he is looking directly and only at McKay. An angel and a devil on his shoulders, they're both using Sheppard to get to him. I find that really interesting. Now, Weir knows him and has been able to observe them for a while now. But these people are complete strangers to Kolya, and he's still figured it out.

Now, if earlier Sheppard had to stop himself from saying something that might cause McKay trouble, McKay seems to be doing the same thing. And keeping quiet isn't the easiest thing for him, does not come to him naturally. But he keeps quiet because he's trying very hard not to make things worse for the Major.

If both Kolya and Weir are using Sheppard to motivate McKay, Sheppard himself is using McKay to motivate himself:

He has a dilemma here. He's trying to think of what McKay would do in his situation but he's come across explicit instructions from McKay not to do what he's thinking about doing. That's quite the pickle! (Also hilarious that the sign can be read as implying that touching McKay is dangerous, telling him not to do it). Are you thinking about touching McKay right now? Because this is not the time, my friend.

From the pleased look on Rodney's face, Sheppard was able to correctly intuit what he would have done in the situation when he shuts down the naqada generator. It's like they're working together as a team even when they are apart.

Continued in Pt. 6