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#i wanted to write more today but i can't this makes me cry i'm sorry
edelorion · 5 months
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#edel vents#disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh...#so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!!#today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today#and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go#i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with#aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there#and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to#discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual.#had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore)#so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood.#went home tired. can't really do anything right now.#at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks.#...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone#worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..?#i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed#as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them.#when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness.#to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth#and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her.#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred#i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many#i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating.#i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin.#i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out.#i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it.#and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved.#i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something.#maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now.#sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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i'm so sleepy
#🌙.rambles#really wanted to do so much more today but. i did a lot#i'm really happy w yk yeah bio n literature earlier n then#earlier hehe me n apollo were chilling in our parents' room bcs our dad was playing the 1975 music out loud. bonding over music c:#n then. talking w my friends a bit but.. specifically i'm really happy i managed to. hmm. hopefully those words reached her#i know my friends well i think. more than it seems on the outside#so i really want to do things for them n i know how to convey it in such a way that it wld at least resonate with them more#but i really do hesitate that i'll do it wrong yk? or i'm low on energy myself#but. i'm just. personally proud that tonight at least i managed to tell help her a bit. i really had a feeling she hasn't been doing well#for. the past months. i'm so sick of hesitating i just want to reach out but i really get afraid sometimes n i'm sorry#sincerity n authenticity n honesty mean a lot to me but. my friends aren't usually. as Open yk#goddamn i can't write it well enough bcs i cld write how i perceive it specifically for each n every single close friend of mine#n i really just want to help in any way i can bcs i really do care#i'm. also just really for the friend i said earlier. i really just.. know how it feels to have that hope crushes n for it to#ah. i don't know how to write it but the words are in my head. i really wish i cld just call or hug my friends anytime to just reassure#them or listen or just be company. bcs i know how it feels all too well n when i'm managing a bit better like i am right now i just#want to make the most of it but.. sigh#i'm more. yk more of a writer than your average person. but#writing is just so hard at times isn't it? but i really want to do as much as i can#n then. i don't know i think i need to cry i think. i want to do so much#yk that horoscope.co thing. i'm not too big on astrology i just find it interesting but w scorpio sun & capricorn moon (bcs that's me)#read it again n it a bunch of not rlly resonated with me :^) ffs i just want to do so much n it hurts#bcs i want to be kind to myself but i'm in a constant battle of. yeah really trying not to push myself but it's so hard#when people are put in the picture. humans are social beings. it's inevitable n. it's just so.. it just feels so helpless for me i think.#bcs there's so much in me that wants to just be freed like. i want to be who i am with no restraint but.#there's just.. a lot too but.#thinking of earlier today n how i overcame my anxiety. n we. we bought the tickets. for the 1975. doesn't feel real but my motivation rlly#yeah. n then. fuck the pain i'm channeling that energy to my motivation instead but#i really.. need to sleep. i'm sorry i can't do more right now. i really want to. tomorrow. i hope. i will do more. but i'll rest now.#..n tonight somehow maybe telling you to rest wld reach you somehow. probably not but i'll just leave this here.
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writers-potion · 4 months
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Writing Female Fighters
The Heroine Must. Fight.
Today's female protagonists cannot sit on the side crying and breaking down or whimpering as the battle ensues.
Readers want to see autonomous female fighters who can at least defense themselves with courage and adequate skill.
Not all women are the same, but the heroine should get her butt moving.
Less Muscle, but More Flexibilty
The average woman is shorter than the average man, which makes it more difficult to wield a long sword or slam something down on the opponent's head.
A woman who works out can plausibly be stronger than a male couch potato, but if her male counterpart works out as much as her, the man is going to be much stronger.
On the other hand, the center of gravity in a woman's body is lower than a man's which makes it harder to knock her off her feet.
She is also more flexible, which gives her advantage in grappling fights, making use of complex landscapes, or deflecting blows.
A woman's small size can also be an advantage if her opponent has only ever trained with male opponents. His big hands might not get a good grip on her slender limbs.
In historical fiction, giving your heroine good muscule build can be tricky as exercise was generally considered harmful for women, with some exceptions for horseriding any maybe archery at best.
In such cases, make your heroine an accomplished dancer or an eager horsewoman, or the only girl whose father considered to be son replacement and thus, gave her a boy's education.
Women of lower classes who couldn't afford to be fashionably weak will be plausibly stronger, perhaps even more than an idle gentleman.
More Room for Negotiation, but Prolonged Ruthlessness
In the Suspense part of your fight scene, females are more likely to negotiate and talk more, strategically trying to descalate the situation rather than attacking on a momentary impulse.
Generally, women are less aggressive than men and remain level-headed longer than her male counterparts, opting for non-violent methods first before using force.
Exceptions apply if she is trying to protect her children (or someone who she cares for as a child). Mothers can be tigresses.
A female pre-fight conversation may be: "If you had not done so-and-so and betrayed me with so-and-so, we could have been good friends as I thought we would be." "What do you mean? It was in fact you who brought bad blood between us. I can still hear you laughing with so-and-so, taunting me, purposefully making me look bad -" "But that was so long ago! If you want me to say sorry about something so insignificant, you should have just said so: I'm sorry. There. Satisfied?" "Ha! I can't believe you say that so easily. You still don't get it, do you?" "Who's being petty and unreasonable now?"
A male pre-fight conversation will be shorter: "Who's the coward now?" "You're wrong." "Prove it." "Bastard."
Compared to men, it will take more time for a woman's fight hormones (adrenaline, neurotransmitters and such) to kick in.
She would be slower to engage initially, throwing reluctant punches and thinking, but she'll grow more and more violent and lose all rational thought and compassion, and once she's in full flow, may not stop even when her opponent begs for mercy.
When writing a male-female duo, you can show him going for the first blow while she observes and strategizes first. When he's past his peak and panting, she is flying about left and right. Later when the tension wears off and she becomes wobbly and teary, she can rely on him to have recovered faster and distract other teammates so that they won't see her cry.
Plausible Skills and Backstory
In many cultures and time periods, the general attitude of society towards girls is that they have no place in fist fights or martial arts, unlike how it is encouraged for boys of the same age. So if your heroine has physical prowess that surpasses typical 'fitness' or is hidden, build a backstory of how she's obtained it.
For modern heroines, it can be as simple as signing her up for martial arts classes or yearly membership at the local gym. For historical fiction or girls with strict 'feminine' upbringing, it can be trickier.
It can be related to profession: maybe she was an erotic wrestler, catfighter, or an assasin who thought killing was more honorable than prostitution. They may have dabbles with it for a short time and is now trying to hide their past from their respectable employer or fiance.
It can be family backstory: Perhaps her mother was an accomplished martial artist or she had to fend for younger siblings on the streets from an early age. Maybe she was the only girl in a family of many boys who refused to be the punching bag.
Inexperienced Female Fighters
A woman with no fighting experience or training is likely to resort to one of these on instinct:
Try to talk herself out of the situation, attempting to persuade or negotiate for her life.
Grab something to use as a weapon. This instinct seems to be stronger for women than it is in men.
Use her hands to try and break free, or kick (often wth little success)
Pull hair
Scratch.
In a serious fight, pulling hair and scratching won't be helpful, except when the police come to find her body, they would find the opponent's DNA under her fingernails.
Plausible Weapons and Clothing
All of the above applies to scenes where both parties have no weapons, or has the bare minimum (like one dagger each).
Weapons are equalizers, and if your heroine is pointing a gun at her opponent she will definitely NOT hesitate to be the one to shoot first.
When giving your female character a weapon, choose one she can plausibly use. It would take an unusually brawny woman to wield a great medieval longsword.
For historical fiction, give your heroine something she'll plausibly own. Swords and firearm were a no-go for women, but archery was borderline acceptable.
For clothing starters, you definitely CAN NOT dress her in a tight miniskirt and chainmail bra with long, flowy hair and multiple silver chockers. Unless she's trying to seduce her way into her opponent's bedroom, and he has a chainmail bra fetish.
A practical heroine will have her thighs covered, preferably with leather but at least with fabric, since a lot of blood flows through the thighs and a slash would be critical.
She'll keep her hair tied, tucked under a helmet, braided back, etc. so that it won't impede her vision.
She'll support her breasts with a strong sport bra. In a historical eprioid, she'll either tie her breasts tight with a fabric bandage or support them with some kind of leather corset.
Invent a female version of male fighter clothing of the time you are writing about if it doesn't exist.
If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸
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purple-babygirl · 6 months
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welcome baaaack! i missed you so much
i've been here since forever and i remember a very long time ago that you promised us insecure chubby bucky. i never forget and i'm still waiting for him (when you get time for sure). i would love to read that whenever you right it! otherwise i'm really happy you're back again.
much love purple<3
Pairing: Insecure!Chubby!Chef!Bucky Barnes x f!reader
Word Count: 4,180
Summary: Bucky runs into his ex, who manages to mess with his head, bringing his insecurities to the surface again. His girl takes it upon herself to show him how perfect he is.
Warnings: 18+ content, bullying (sort of), fat shaming, negative self body image, insecurities, intrusive thoughts, mentions of cheating, a little crying, a little angst, smut, unprotected vaginal sex, cum, multiple orgasms
A/N: Nonnie, omg, you have been here a long time! I love and appreciate you so so much and I can't believe you stuck around for so long wow:"💜💜 Thank you so much for existing and for being here you're the reason I don't wanna leave again💜💜💜 Here's one insecure chubby bucky for you, I hope you like this one and that I did a good job💜 Thank you again ilyyy, please enjoyxx💜💜(y'all i think i forgot how to write smut what is wrong with me)
~
perfect to me
“I’m so sorry, baby, I have to run,” she told him after checking her phone, pecking his lips and taking quick steps down the aisle of the large store.
Bucky smiled, taking another fruit plate and placing it in their cart. His girl was such a hard worker and he couldn’t be prouder.
It was going to be Christmas soon and his girl was still working hard so Bucky was going to make her the best holiday food she’s ever tasted.
He was focused on picking the freshest cranberries when he heard a scoff, a very familiar one.
“Hey, Ryan,” Bucky sighed, not really wanting to ruin his good mood, as he turned around to meet a face he knew too well.
“What does she owe you?” said Ryan, tilting his head with a smirk.
“What?!”
“There’s no way this chick is seeing you. I figured she must owe you and is just paying her debt!” He smirked further, not even trying to hide his gloating when he saw that his words still had an effect on Bucky.
“My relationship with her is none of your business.” Bucky’s voice was suddenly low as his eyes stared down at the contents of the cart.
“But my relationship with you is.” Ryan put a finger under Bucky’s chin but the latter took a step away.
“We don’t have a relationship. You cheated on me, remember? I was too fat for you.” Bucky’s shaky voice moved nothing inside Ryan. If anything Ryan wanted more.
“And now you’re too fat for her.”
“Shut up. She is nothing like you.”
“Really? Do you even know where she goes when she leaves you? Where she is right now, for example?” Ryan smirked.
“She got called into work and had to run to the office.” Bucky knew he owed him nothing and if he was in his right mind he wouldn’t have went through a conversation with Ryan at all, but he wasn’t.
“How are you still so naïve?” He laughed heartily as if Bucky’s misery was actually amusing to him.
“Leave me alone.” Bucky tried to push the shopping cart and walk away, but Ryan stepped before him.
“I didn’t know your publisher lived in an office.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She leaves you to go fuck your publisher. You know him, black guy, sexily built, very handsome.”
The words left Bucky feeling lightheaded as the world seemed to twirl around him. Could history be repeating itself? No, not this time. His girl was not like that.
“I saw her coming to his building with him.”
“How’d you even-”
“I wait tables in the restaurant across the street from his apartment. I didn’t know she was with you but damn are you lucky you met me today!” Ryan laughed insensitively.
“It’s probably someone else.”
“I think I know what your publisher looks like.”
“You’re lying,” Bucky chocked out, trying to get out of Ryan’s way.
“You don’t sound so sure about that.” Ryan tilted his head again with a smug smirk, poking Bucky’s tummy, “you know why? Because deep down you know she’s too sexy for you. Because you look at her and then at yourself and you can’t figure out why she’d want you. Because you know that sooner or later she’s gonna get tired of your fat ass and—”
“My life now is none of your business, Ryan. You left. You chose to go, so stay gone.” Bucky’s weak voice interrupted, shutting Ryan right up before he sped out of the store, leaving the groceries behind.
“You’ll come back to me when you see for yourself!” He shouted after Bucky, but he didn’t stop nor turn back.
The questions he had raised in Bucky’s head, Bucky had no answers for them himself. Why was this sweet girl with him? What did she see in him? Anyone who met them thought the same thing: they didn’t belong together. So what did she see differently? What was Bucky bringing to their relationship? Could he even satisfy her? Could he keep her fulfilled?
He thought the days where Ryan messed with his head were long gone but he was obviously mistaken. Ryan could still easily hurt him. He could still make him feel as large as an elephant yet smaller than an insect. The dagger he’d planted was in so deep that Bucky couldn’t feel anything but the pain the stab brought.
~
His ex’s words plagued his mind. They took over and drowned out his girl’s voice, pushing it to the background.
All of a sudden, Bucky was very aware of his size, of the way the couch made the slightest sounds under his weight, and the way his girl could fit her whole self on one of his thighs if she wanted to.
“Bucky bear?” A hand on his cheek pulled him out of his thoughts.
Suddenly, he hated the words she nicknamed him with. Bear? Is that how big she thought he was?
“Hmm?”
“I was asking if you wanna go shopping for last minute gifts with me tomorrow,” she repeated, smiling sweetly, her fingers brushing a few hairs back and behind Bucky’s ear as she yawned.
Bucky’s new cookbook became a best seller after one week of release and the publication house was throwing the amazing chef a party.
She couldn’t be prouder and she wanted to support Bucky all the way. She loved Christmas and now it was going to be even better with this event added to their memories.
She was going to go all out for her man and he didn’t even know it. It was going to be a huge surprise and she couldn’t wait to make it happen.
“Yeah, why not,” Bucky replied, faking a smile back.
“What were you busy thinking about?” Her thumb traced his stubbly cheek as she frowned worriedly.
For a wonderfully successful cook, Bucky didn’t look so happy.
“You,” he answered with the truth though his eyes didn’t sparkle like they usually would at the thought of her.
“What about me?” Her smile returned as she stared lovingly at Bucky’s face.
“Why are you with me?” Bucky couldn’t hide the sorrow in his voice if he tried.
“What?” She sat up straight in his lap as her face fell.
“Please don’t make me repeat the question.”
“Buck, where’s this coming from?” Her hands cupped both his cheeks.
“I just don’t get it.” He shook his head, swallowing as his hands removed hers from his face.
“Don’t get what?!” She placed her hands on Bucky’s chest instead, refusing to let him push her away.
“Why you’re here!”
“I’m here because I love you, what’s hard to get, baby?”
“Do you really love me?”
This was serious. She’s never seen her boyfriend look so broken.
“James, what’s going on?”
“Answer the question, plum,” Bucky requested, the back of his fingers stroking over her cheek, knowing this was probably the last time he would get to touch her soft skin.
“Of course I love you!”
“Then why do you leave me to go meet Sam and then lie to me about it?!” Bucky unintentionally raised his voice.
“W��what?”
There were so many emotions overwhelming her and none of them was pleasant.
She was shocked, hurt and dejected. Bucky has never raised his voice at her before.
 “What were you doing together last night? And the night before and the night before that?!”
“Bucky, you’ve got it all wrong.” She shook her head, heartbroken that Bucky would think of her like that.
“Please leave.” He slid her off his lap and stood up, turning his back to her.
“Bucky.” Tears pricked her eyes.
“Leave, plum.”
“Bucky, me and Sam were—”
“If you won’t leave then I will.” Bucky sped to the door, grabbing his jacket from where it was hanged.
The last thing he wanted was to cry in front of her too. He’s already shown his weakness once; never again.
“Bucky!”
He ignored her calls, ready to run out of the door and let his legs take him far away where he’d have to hear no lies and could no longer get hurt.
“James Bucky Barnes, don’t you dare walk out on me!” She blocked the door, preventing Bucky from exiting the apartment.
Her eyes glistened with yet to be shed tears as her heart pounded in her chest. The mere idea of losing Bucky for any reason terrified her more than anything else.
She loved the man with her heart and soul and would go to the ends of the Earth for his sake. Why couldn’t he see that?
“I didn’t wanna ruin the surprise but… your book is a best seller. Me and Sam were planning you a party to celebrate. We figured if we met at the restaurant it’d ruin the surprise so I saw him at his place after work.”
Bucky stared at her dumbly.
“You can call Sam if you don’t believe me.”
“Oh.” Bucky felt like someone’s just dumped a bucket of cold water over his head; felt like an absolute idiot, “oh, plum.”
“I’m sorry I kept it a secret, but I’m not sorry I wanted to do something nice for the man I love.” A tear rolled down her cheek and her lower lip trembled, “and I’m really sad with you for stalking me and doubting me like that. I didn’t expect that from you, Bucky… and I’m hurt.”
“Sweet plum-”
“You can leave now if you still want to.” She took quick steps to the bedroom, leaving Bucky at the door.
It wasn’t often that she and Bucky fought and it was never something that couldn’t be solved within an hour. He could never bear to see her upset, let alone let her go to bed mad at him.
“Plum,” Bucky softly knocked on her door, swallowing the lump stuck in his throat, “can I please come in?”
But this was big.
Bucky has doubted her love for him. He has insulted her loyalty and ruined everything because of his insecurities and the poisonous words of a man who never cared for him.
She opened the door for him in a heartbeat, her face soaked in tears.
“No, no, sweet plum.” Bucky took her in his arms, praying to the deities she wouldn’t repel from his touch.
“You pushed me out of your lap.” She sobbed, her chest heaving and her forehead pressed to his shoulder.
His accusations hurt but the fact that he pushed her away somehow hurt her more.
Bucky couldn’t help but let his tears fall as well.
How could he be so thoughtless? She was the one good thing in his life and he almost let her go. No amount of restaurants he could open could make him feel as happy as a smile from her would.
He could write a library and collect every prize ever known to humankind, and she would still be the best thing Bucky has ever won over.
“I’m stupid, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His hold tightened, engulfing her smaller frame in a desperate hug, “please don’t cry because of an idiot like me. I’m sorry, sweet plum. Forgive me, baby.”
“Why’d you do it?” Her sad eyes looked at him in question, full of confusion yet void of bitterness.
“I- sweet plum-” Bucky didn’t know how to answer her question because now that he looked back, he could see how stupid it all was.
Why did he follow her for 3 consecutive nights while she went to meet Sam instead of just trusting her? Why did he choose to believe and trust in Ryan’s words and not her love for him? Why was it easier for him to imagine her with someone like Sam but impossible to think of her with someone like himself?
“It’s because I’m a big idiot,” Bucky replied.
“Bucky.”
“Please forgive me, plum.” Bucky pecked her temple.
“Tell me what happened.”  She demanded softly, wiping Bucky’s own tears away and kissing his chin.
“Nothing happened, sweet plum. I got inside my own head again. I’m sorry, baby.” Bucky lied with a sad smile, too ashamed to admit Ryan’s words almost had him ruining the best relationship he’s ever been in.
She nodded understandingly, her hand cupping Bucky’s face as she rested his forehead on hers.
Bucky would tell her when he was ready. She didn’t want to stay mad at him. She knew he had issues with self confidence and she wasn’t about to make him feel even worse. He would come to her when he was comfortable. Bucky would tell her on his own.
“Please stay.” She whispered, her teary eyes heavy with sleep, yet afraid to go to bed and have Bucky leave after.
“I’m not going anywhere, sweet plum.” Bucky kissed her forehead, taking her by the hand to their bed.
~
“You know you can talk to me, right?” Her soothing voice whispered, filling the dark room.
Bucky was laying wide awake, Ryan’s words playing in his ears over and over again. What he did to his girl and how he made her cry. All the messed up shit he did just hours ago gnawed at him and took the sleep away from his eyes.
“I ran into Ryan,” Bucky finally replied, unable to sleep while he’s hiding something from her, “he filled my head with thoughts about you leaving me for Sam, and I let him.” He admitted to the ceiling, hesitant to meet her eyes.
“I would never leave you,” she promised him without reluctance, cupping his face and making him look at her.
She wanted him to see all the love her eyes held for him with no shame.
“Please don’t. I will lose the weight, I will—”
“Wait, what? He told you I’d leave you because of your weight?” Both hands were back on Bucky’s cheeks, thumbs wiping under his eyes.
Bucky nodded.
“And you believed him?”
“It’s why he left me.” He shrugged.
“Bucky,” she sighed.
“I know I know. It’s what’s on the inside that counts—”
“Don’t talk as if you’re not physically breathtaking!”
“Baby—”
“No! You have no idea how handsome you are, do you?!”
“Plum, you don’t have to say such stuff.” Bucky shook his head sheepishly and regretted it when he saw sadness cover her delicate features.
She quickly shook it off, scratching her forehead before taking Bucky’s hand, helping him sit up in their bed.
“Sweet plum, what are you doing?” Bucky asked when she started moving the covers down his torso.
“Gonna love on my man. Would you let me, Bucky? Can I love on you?” she asked, her voice soft and sweet.
Bucky nodded, hypnotized by the adoration shining in her eyes and she started to undress him.
Her eyes never left his as she took piece by piece of clothing off, revealing his beautiful figure to her, her smile only faltering when she bit down at the sight of her man in all his naked glory.
Bucky’s body was lit up under the soft moonlight coming from the window, helping her appreciate every curve and inch.
This gorgeous human being was his and he was hers.
“You’re so fucking sexy you take my breath away,” she moaned, slipping out of her own sweater, “and I don’t just mean the way you make me cum so many times until I have to fight for oxygen.” She brushed her lips on his.
Bucky was speechless. He could only stare and try not to lose his own oxygen.
“Keep your eyes open for me, Buck.” She pecked his lips once and he opened his eyes at once, not even realizing he’d closed them in the first place.
She smiled at how fast he followed the instruction, leaning back on the headboard and licking his lips.
Bucky’s groan when her bra hit the ground made her giggle. She slipped out of her panties, leaving herself bare before Bucky’s eyes.
“Come here, plum,” Bucky’s arms reached for her but she shook her head.
“This is about you, Bucky Bear.”
She climbed on the bed between Bucky’s legs, her hands wandering along his shins, thumbs caressing up his inner thighs. She bowed forward, peppering kisses on Bucky’s soft flesh.
“I love your thighs,” her lips moved higher and higher, the tiny kisses and nibbles driving Bucky crazy as he tried not to touch himself, “love how thick they are. So strong. So perfect. I would ride them all day if you’d let me.”
Bucky whimpered when she accompanied the honest words with a bite, leaving her mark on his pale flesh.
“And that ass,” she moaned, her hands sliding underneath Bucky, pulling his legs up and cupping his ass cheeks.
Bucky’s shy gasp made her smirk. He was so precious she could eat him. Maybe she should some day…
She let Bucky’s legs settle back on the bed and kept kissing up and up, skipping his twitching cock on purpose and placing wet kisses on his tummy instead. Her eyes locked with his and Bucky bit his pink lip.
He looked so beautiful, blushing, disheveled and turned on like that. His pupils were dilated, his cheeks rosy and his breath uneven; she was falling in love with this chef all over again.
“I love your tummy so so much,” her tongue dipped in Bucky’s bellybutton and the flush spread from his cheeks and on to his neck and chest.
Another moan slipped from his lips as her warm tongue lapped at his skin. She was full on licking him now.
Her words were romantic but the way she was loving him was driving him insane.
“I love to feel it against me when we hug,” she kissed his right side, “I love when you let me rest my head on it and I get to hear you breathe and feel your heartbeat,” she kissed his belly, “I love how it warms my back when you spoon me. And I love feeling it pushing against my ass when you take me from behind.” She pressed a final kiss to his left side.
“My favourite has got to be your cock though.” She gave his leaking dick a single pump and his hips were already bucking off the bed, “I’m a sucker for this cock, baby. Literally.”
Bucky was too busy whining when her mouth wrapped around the crown of his cock to call her out on her bad joke.
His whole body was on fire with need for her. He needed her to do something, anything.
“Plum, please. Let me get you ready. I need you. I need to be inside you.”
Bucky didn’t want to cum in her mouth, not this time. He needed to be buried deep inside her and he wasn’t sure how long he would be able to last.
“I’m ready,” she said, situating herself on top of his cock, rubbing the tip on her wet folds, letting out filthy mewls at the feel of him against the lips of her pussy, “always ready for you, baby.”
Before Bucky could argue that he should at least make sure she was prepared to take him just in case, she was pushing the tip of him in, stretching herself out on his cock with her head thrown back and her mouth open in a silent scream.
“Fuck, plum, so tight,” Bucky groaned, feeling her pussy grip every inch as soon as it disappeared inside her.
When she has completely impaled herself on Bucky’s cock, she stilled, taking a minute to get used to the stretch.
No burn has ever felt as good as the burn she got when Bucky’s dick split her in half. Getting opened on this cock was her favorite thing in the world.
She dragged her lips along his stubbly jaw as she waited, kissing all over his face, savoring the moment as sweetly as possible as if the head of Bucky’s cock wasn’t almost touching up her cervix.
Her open palms glided from around Bucky’s neck to his shoulders and down his arms until she reached his palms.
“and those hands, I think you already know how much I love your hands.” She chuckled as she continued and Bucky nodded, squirming below her.
“I love when you hold my hand; makes me feel safe; chosen,” she rolled her hips, making Bucky groan wantonly.
“I love how fast you can make me cum on the fingers of your left hand.” She whined when Bucky’s hands dug in her sides as she moved on him, surely leaving bruises behind.
“Fuck, plum-” Bucky was so close so fast and he wished he could last longer but the movement of her body on top of his, the words leaving her mouth and her walls snug around his cock were too much.
“I love you. Every inch, every part. I love all of you, Bucky.”
Bucky groaned in reply, chest heaving as he watched her take him.
“I love every part of you. I crave your touch like my lungs crave air.”
Bucky involuntarily thrust up, making her eyes roll.
“Oh Buck!” she wailed, Bucky hitting her favorite spots so good.
He couldn’t stop his hips from meeting hers every time she came down to take his cock over and over again, eyes glued to where he was disappearing inside of her.
“Nothing could ever match the feeling of being filled up of you, Bucky.”
“I love you, plum ahhh fuck,” Bucky moaned, overwhelmed by emotions and ready to burst any second.
“I love you too, Bucky bear. You’re my everything; my one and only.” She kissed him hard, thighs shaking around his body as she came on his cock.
Bucky couldn’t help but let go himself, cumming harder than he has ever before, filling her up with so much cum until he felt it leak out of her despite having her plugged on his softening cock.
She moaned at the warmth of his cum, shuddering when it seeped out of her.
“Fuck, plum,” Bucky sighed on her shoulder, breath still shaky.
She giggled shyly, burying her face in Bucky’s neck.
“Where did that come from?” Bucky asked, cupping her cheek so he could look at her.
She was glowing, smiling at him so innocently as if his cock wasn’t still buried deep up her leaking, pulsing pussy.
“From here.” She pointed to the spot between her breasts.
“Right here?” Bucky leaned forward to press a kiss on her hot skin, making her laugh as she nodded.
“I love you,” he whispered on her lips.
“I love you, Bucky. I love every tiny detail about you inside out. Nothing will ever change that.” She promised, seeing his eyes soften once again, insecurity dissipating.
“Thank you, plum.” Bucky hugged her close, kissing her shoulder and the back of her neck.
“Thank you for letting me show you how much I love you.”
“So you love my cock huh?” Bucky teased.
“Buckyyyy,” she whined, trying to get away as her face heated up.
“No, say it.” Bucky bit his lip, looking at her with a smirk.
“You know I do. Stop.”
“No, plum. I don’t know anything.” Bucky shook his head trying to act serious, “say it again.”
“Iloveyourcock,” she mumbled, trying to take herself off his cock.
“What was that, plum?” Bucky thrust upward into her and even with a soft cock he could make her make the sweetest sound.
“Hngh, I love your cock, Bucky,” she moaned, throwing her head back.
“Hmm, how much?” Bucky swirled his hips, feeling himself get hard again.
“S-so much,” she admitted as his cock stretched her sensitive pussy.
Bucky held her close, turning them the other way around and gave a deep push when he was on top, his cum making the filthiest squelching sounds as she screamed an “oh god”.
“So much you’d let me take you again?”
“Yes, yes,” she nodded frantically, not wanting the man to stop his thrusts.
And he wasn’t going to.
Bucky’s tummy pinned her down as he pressed his lips to hers, eating up her squeals as he pounded her into the bed, showing her how much he loved her.
~
“So you really don’t care about my weight?” Bucky asked, supporting his body up on his elbows as he stared at her glossy eyes.
She could barely remember her name as she tried to come down from the other two orgasms Bucky has just given her, his body still on top of hers, but that wasn’t a question she needed to think about the answer to.
“I only want you okay and healthy, Bucky. If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable. If you’re happy, I’m happy. Otherwise, you’re perfect to me,” she told him with a shrug, pushing his wet hair behind his ears, “every little thing about you is perfect.”
“I love you so much, plum.”
“I love you more.” She smiled, heart fluttering at the look he was giving her.
“Not possible.” Bucky kissed her lips, “not possible, plum.”
~
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882 notes · View notes
its-avalon-08 · 2 months
Note
omg I love the protective Daniel post you just did, I feel like max would be so protective too, could I please request max and rival driver reader who always bicker but have undeniable tension..and after a race they’re celebrating at the club and mad max comes out seeing a really creepy guy hitting on her and manhandling her across the dance floor. Reader is a bit shaken up cause she hasn’t had things like that happen in a while since becoming more famous and the creepy guy was a lot bigger than her
and max drives her home and comforts her - I feel a hug from his big strong arms would fix all my problems lolz, maybe leading to some spice?? Thank you!!
hi bubs! im sorry im not super gr8 at writing spice so i didnt include any, myabe in the future! so sorry but hope u enjoy
hands. off. (mv1)
✦ pairing - max verstappen x female!driver!reader
✦ genre - enemies to lovers, angst, creepy guy, confessions, happy ending
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The tension was palpable in the team garage as Max and Y/N prepared for the race. Mechanics bustled around, making final adjustments to the cars, while the two drivers stood on opposite sides, glaring at each other.
"You know, Max, just because you have a world championship doesn't mean you're invincible," Y/N said, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she adjusted her gloves.
Max smirked, not looking up from his car. "And just because you're fast doesn't mean you're good enough to beat me. You should focus on keeping up."
Y/N took a step closer, her eyes flashing with anger. "Maybe if you stopped acting like you're the king of the track, you'd see that I'm right on your tail. You're not as untouchable as you think."
Max finally looked up, meeting her gaze with a challenging look. "I'll believe it when I see it, Y/N. Until then, you're just another driver trying to take my spot."
She crossed her arms, standing her ground. "You better watch out, Max. One mistake, and I'll be there to overtake you. And believe me, it'll happen sooner than you think. Until then fuck off."
Max's eyes narrowed. "Bring it on. Just don't cry when you can't handle the pressure."
Their team principal stepped in, sensing the rising tension. "Alright, you two, save it for the track. We need both of you focused if we're going to win today."
Max and Y/N exchanged one last glare before turning their attention back to their cars, the hostility between them lingering in the air.
post race
The race had been fierce, with Max narrowly edging out Y/N for the win. As they walked back to the garage, Y/N's frustration boiled over. She threw her helmet down in exasperation, drawing Max's attention.
"Nice job blocking me out there, Max. Real fucking classy," she snapped, her eyes blazing with anger.
Max shrugged, a smug smile playing on his lips. "It's called defending my position. Maybe you should learn how to do it."
Y/N stepped closer, her fists clenched. "Or maybe you should learn to win without playing dirty."
Max's smile faded, replaced by a cold stare. "I play to win, Y/N. If you can't handle that, maybe you're in the wrong sport."
Y/N's heart raced, not just from anger but from the proximity. She could feel the heat radiating off him, their faces inches apart. "Maybe if you weren't so obsessed with proving you're the best, you'd realize you don't have to be such an asshole all the time."
Max leaned in, his breath hot on her face. "And maybe if you stopped trying to compete with me, you'd see that I actually respect you."
Y/N's eyes widened, the air between them crackling with tension. "Respect? You have a funny way of showing it, Max."
Max's gaze dropped to her lips for a fraction of a second before meeting her eyes again. "It's called tough love sweetheart. You wouldn't want it any other way."
She swallowed hard, her pulse quickening. "Don't flatter yourself. I don't need your respect."
Max's hand twitched as if he wanted to reach out and touch her, but he held back. "Maybe not. But you have it, whether you like it or not."
The intensity of his gaze was overwhelming, making her head spin. For a moment, all the anger and frustration seemed to morph into something else, something neither of them was ready to admit.
"Why do you always have to make everything so complicated?" Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible.
Max's voice softened, the hostility fading. "Maybe because I don't know how else to deal with you. You're... different."
Y/N's breath hitched, her heart pounding in her chest. "Different how?"
Max's eyes softened, and for a moment, the walls between them seemed to crumble. "Different in a way that scares me. And I don't scare easily."
The vulnerability in his voice caught her off guard, and she felt a surge of emotion she couldn't quite name. Without thinking, she closed the distance between them, their bodies almost touching.
"Max..." she began, her voice trembling.
Before she could say anything more, Max leaned in, his forehead almost resting against hers. "Y/N, I..."
The moment was electric, the world around them fading away. For that brief second, all the rivalry, the anger, and the hostility melted into something raw and undeniable. But just as quickly, Max pulled back, the moment shattered and his rough facade was back up.
"We should get back to the team," he said, his voice hoarse.
Y/N nodded, her heart still racing. "Yeah. We should."
As they walked back to the garage, the tension between them was stronger than ever, but now it was laced with something more—something neither of them could ignore.
time skip
The club was alive with music and dancing, the perfect place to celebrate after a hard-fought race. Y/N tried to shake off the lingering tension from her earlier confrontation with Max, letting the music take over as she moved with her friends. But even in the crowded club, she could feel his eyes on her, a constant presence that sent shivers down her spine.
Max sat at the bar, nursing a drink, but his attention was entirely on Y/N. She danced with an easy grace, her movements drawing the eyes of everyone around her, but Max's gaze was different—intense, focused, and filled with the unresolved tension from their earlier confrontation.
As she danced, Y/N's eyes found Max's across the room. The connection was electric, the tension between them palpable. She locked eyes with him, her movements becoming more deliberate, more provocative, as if she was challenging him, daring him to react.
Max's grip tightened on his glass, his heart racing. The room seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them, locked in a silent, charged exchange. He wanted to go to her, to close the distance between them, but something held him back.
Suddenly, a large man approached Y/N on the dance floor, his intentions clear. He moved too close, his hands reaching out to touch her. Y/N tried to step away, but he grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him with a force that made her stumble.
"What the fuck? Let go!" Y/N shouted, trying to free herself.
The man's grip tightened, his voice slurred with alcohol. "Come on, baby, don't be like that. Let's have some fun."
Panic flashed in Y/N's eyes. She was used to handling herself, but this man was larger and stronger, and the situation was spiraling out of control. She looked around for help, her gaze finally landing on Max.
Max's vision turned red as he saw the fear in Y/N's eyes. He pushed his way through the crowd, his protective instincts and anger flaring into his "Mad Max" persona.
"Get your hands off her," Max growled, his voice low and dangerous.
The man looked at Max, clearly unimpressed. "Who the hell are you?"
Max stepped closer, his glare icy. "I'm the fucking guy who's going to make sure you never touch her again. Now, let go."
The man sneered, but Max's cold fury was unmistakable. He released Y/N, but not before giving her a rough shove. She stumbled back, and Max caught her, pulling her close to him.
"You okay?" Max asked, his voice softening as he looked down at her.
Y/N nodded, but her eyes were wide, and she was clearly shaken. "Yeah, just... let's get out of here."
The man, not ready to back down, took a step towards them. "You think you can just walk away?"
Max turned back to him, his expression darkening. "I warned you."
Without another word, Max launched himself at the man, delivering a hard punch to his jaw. The man staggered back, and Max followed up with another punch, knocking him to the ground.
"Stay the fuck down," Max spat, his voice filled with anger.
The bouncers quickly moved in, grabbing the man and dragging him away. Max turned back to Y/N, his expression softening once again.
"Come on," he said, taking her hand. "Let's get out of here."
The ride home was silent except for Y/N’s quiet sniffles. She stared out the window, her hands still trembling. The events of the night played over and over in her mind, and she couldn't shake the fear that had gripped her. She let out a silent sob, tears streaming down her face.
Max glanced over, his heart aching at the sight of her distress. Without saying a word, he reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Y/N looked at him, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She squeezed his hand back, drawing strength from his presence.
They drove in silence for a while longer before Max finally spoke. "You don't have to be scared anymore, Y/N. I'm here. I'll always be here."
Y/N nodded, unable to find her voice. The tears kept coming, and she leaned over, resting her head on Max's shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her, holding her close as she sobbed into his shirt.
When they arrived at her apartment, Max turned off the engine and gently lifted her out of the car. She clung to him, too exhausted and shaken to protest. Max carried her inside, navigating the familiar path to her bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and sat beside her, brushing a stray hair from her face.
"Max," Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible. "I was so scared."
Max's heart clenched. "I know. But you're safe now. That guy will never touch you again. I promise."
Y/N looked into his eyes, searching for the strength she always saw there. "Why are you always there for me? Even when we fight, even when we're at each other's throats, you're always there."
Max took a deep breath, his gaze intense. He wordlessly pulled her into a warm, protective hug. His strong arms enveloped her, pulling her close against his chest.
Y/N rested her head on his shoulder, her voice a barely audible whisper. "I've dreamed about this."
Max’s heart skipped a beat. He held her tighter, his own emotions surfacing. "You’ve dreamed about this?"
She nodded, her voice muffled. "About being held like this… safe and cared for. I didn’t think it would ever actually happen."
Max tilted her chin up gently, looking into her eyes with a serious expression. "Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you."
Y/N met his gaze, her eyes filled with vulnerability. "What is it, Max?"
Max took a deep breath, his voice trembling slightly. "I’ve been trying so hard to deny it, but I can’t anymore. I care about you more than I ever wanted to admit. The rivalry, the arguments—they’ve been a cover for what I really feel."
Y/N’s eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and relief washing over her. "Max, I’ve felt the same way. I’ve been pushing you away because I was scared of these feelings. I didn’t want to admit how much you mean to me."
Max’s fingers brushed a tear from her cheek. "I’ve been so caught up in the competition and the fights that I didn’t realize I was falling for you. But now, seeing you like this, I can’t ignore it any longer."
Y/N’s voice was barely above a whisper. "It’s like everything else fades away when I’m with you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before."
Max’s gaze was intense, filled with affection. "You mean everything to me, Y/N. I don’t just want to win races with you; I want to be with you. I want to be the one who’s always there for you."
Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes again, but this time they were tears of happiness. "I want that too, Max. I want us to be more than just rivals. I want us to be together, through everything."
Max’s smile was tender as he leaned in, his forehead resting against hers. "Then let’s make it real. Let’s be together."
Y/N nodded, her voice trembling with emotion. "Yes. I want that more than anything."
They leaned in, their lips meeting in a kiss filled with all the emotions they had been holding back—passion, relief, and a deep, unspoken love. When they finally pulled away, their eyes locked, both of them knowing that their feelings were finally out in the open.
Max brushed a strand of hair from her face, his smile full of promise. "We have a lot to figure out, but we’ll do it together. I’m in this for the long haul."
Y/N nodded, her heart full. "Together. Always."
Max wrapped his arms around her again, holding her close as they lay down together, both of them finally at peace with the love they had discovered.
355 notes · View notes
hotvintagepoll · 5 months
Note
Do you have any opinions on modern (post-1970s) movies that you feel capture the essence (in a good way) of Old Movies?
No, unfortunately. That doesn't mean I don't like modern movies or that modern movies aren't good, but modern movies—and here I'm really using modern to mean post-2010, so contemporary movies—have different standards for pacing, characterization, budget, and production that make it harder (or impossible) to capture some of the magic of old movies. Even when modern movies clearly try to emulate that old-movie feeling—I'm thinking of La La Land, The Artist, The Shape of Water, In the Heights—they play the homage too broadly, or they ignore crucial components that make the original films work.
There's kind of too much to go into here without writing a full essay, but essentially, the Old Hollywood system—ugly, failed beast as she was—made some movies simply more accessible to make, due to the ongoing storage of props, sets, master craftsmen, crew, and onscreen talent that could move from one movie to the next without pause. If you needed a dancer, he was already on staff. If you needed a fancy bed, it was already in the warehouse. That kind of longterm storage is invaluable if you want to crank out movies quickly and cheaply because it saves so much time on individual negotiation and sourcing. Modern production companies have to work out individual contracts for every actor on every film; crew members have to negotiate rental contracts and source pieces from scratch; if you need someone with specialist skills, you have to contract them specially at a high rate, which a lot of small companies can't (or won't) budget to do. There's sand in the wheels where there needn't be any. It's wasteful, and costly, but that's the system modern movies are made with.
Which all means that even if the modern movie system wanted to make a classic movie musical just like the old ones, they couldn't, because the talent isn't already there—it hasn't been trained up enough, and there's not that breadth of knowledge you can only get from people who have been allowed to work in the same department in the same place for decades. Movies like La La Land fail, for me, because they present themselves as descendants of Fred Astaire or Busby Berkley movies, while missing the bit where Fred Astaire was a master of his craft. When you watch Fred Astaire dance—or Moira Shearer, or the Nicholas Brothers, or Ann Miller—you are watching a true artist at work, purposely showcased by the studios because they already have them on contract. Modern movies, on the other hand, tend to take people who already have star talent (as actors) and try to convert them into dancers/singers—or they pull dancers/singers off of Broadway, but then they don't have the star power built in. You end up with lackluster musicals where no one truly knows what they're doing, or they do but they're not built up enough by the studios to sell. And that's me discussing just on-screen talent for musicals—there is a huge loss behind the scenes, as well, for all kinds of movies, where roles that would have been filled by union crew who moved continuously from one job to the next have been swapped for freelance labor who live with immense turnover, financial insecurity, and knowledge loss. You could hand me the budget and I could try to make an old movie, but the industry itself has changed so much it's impossible to recapture that charm of steady, niche talent, the amazing possibilities of bonkers set design, and the ability to take a risk on a smaller movie because the other films being produced by the same studio can help balance the budget.
I've talked way, way too much about all of this! Sorry, I just have a lot of thoughts—and the one above is just one of them; the talent loss and storage issues are only facets of a much bigger problem that extends to how we watch movies today, how we market them, what we expect of them, and what's allowed in them. It's a crying shame because the talent is still there, but times change and so does the industry, for better or for worse. (And, just again to clarify, I don't think modern movies are bad—they're just missing a lot of the juice old movies got to play with, even if there's more talent available than ever before.)
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keen-li · 5 months
Text
MR RIGHT YOU CAME AT THE WRONG TIME | jjk
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18+ MDNI
synopsis: after accidentally switching bags, you end up finding your ways to each other and returning them to each other. But little did you realize that wasn't the last you'd be seeing of him.
song: find me by sigma ft birdy
Jungkook x reader
wc: 12.4k [damn i never thought id write this much before]
genre: strangers to lovers, fluff, smut, angst. (I would say it's kinda a forbidden love, but I don't know you tell me)
warnings: (I don't like writing warnings cause it kind of gives some stuff away, but I feel it's kind of necessary here), so we have cheating, letting a stranger into your home, unfaithfulness, lying, double lives. smut. [I'm kinda lazy at adding warnings but these are the general ideas]
note: if you can't swallow or read the idea of cheating and lying please DON'T READ. Sorry for any typos.
_-_
You tap aggressively on your laptop keyboard; you're trying to get this report done and today seems like the perfect time. You're sat in a café, the sun is setting (making the perfect aesthetic), it's showering a bit outside and you have your favorite sandwich and latte by your side to warm you up. What more can you need.
After an hour you decide you've written enough and you need to get going, plus the cafe's closing soon. So you shut off your laptop and place it into your tote bag. Before you leave you decide to use the bathroom. You leave your tote bag on your seat and carry your little handbag to the bathroom with you.
"Can you watch this for me?" You ask the person who was sat on the other seat of your table, and after they agree you leave to the bathroom.
While you're in the bathroom a man stops to speak to the person who was sat at your table.
"Can you watch this for me?" The young man asks and they nod in agreement.
He places his tote bag right next to yours, in too much of a hurry to pay attention to the other tote bag that was sat there that's exactly the same and rushes to the bathroom.
"Yeah I know, i wish you could be here too" you speak rushed through the phone. "no I won't be alone mark's gonna be with me"
The person on the other side continues to nag.
And in a hurry hoping you won't miss the train. So, you grab your tote bag without paying attention. You nod in appreciation to the person who doesn't even have their attention on you.
You quickly rush to the train station and get on a train back home.
Back at the café the young man grabs his bag and heads out too after giving his appreciation.
"I bet they weren't even watching it" He mumbles to himself.
And he's surely right.
-
"What the fuck, where's my lapto-" you exclaim as you dump out the contents of the bag. You run your hands through the emptied-out contents and pick up an ID card.
"Wait? This isn't even my bag" you come to the realisation. You should've realised that when you weren't met with the sweet flowery smell of your bag when you opened it. But now that you're staring at this ID you realise it's really not your bag. You thought someone stole your laptop but they stole your whole bag.
"Jeon Jungkook? The fuck" you exclaim as you eye his ID. You eye the little picture showing his face, damn.
You chuckle at how handsome he is. You scan through more of his documents and find a permit for a motorcycle, you lift your brows.
"Motorcyclist. Cool" you hum.
You snap out of the thrill of going through jeon Jungkook’s stuff when you realise you don't know how to get back your own stuff back.
You search for any phone number but you find none. You're growing a little frustrated now. He has no information in his bag that can help you locate him. You run your hands over your face and you sigh not knowing what to do. You wanna cry so bad, your laptop is in your bag. Shit, you wanted to complete your report when you got home, you've got to get it done tonight.
What the hell are you gonna d-
Your head snaps up when you hear a knock at your door. You drag your feet to the door and peep through your hole, you can't tell who it is cause they have a helmet on. You didn't order anything so you open the door, curious.
He turns to face you and speaks.
"Y/n?" The man asks, his voice muffled by his helmet.
You stare at him with a confused face.
"Did I order something?"
He mumbles an apology as he takes off his helmet. He brushes his hair back into a more presentable position and you take in his facial features. Time slows down like in the movies as he arranges his hair, he's helping you debunk the theory that all Motorcyclists are unattractive.
You know his face, you've seen him before, somewhere.
"People always think I'm in delivery when I have my helmet on" he chuckles.
"Jungkook?" Your brain clicks where you've seen him from.
He smiles "looks like someone found my ID"  he tucks his helmet under his arm.
"I had to. I assume you went through mine if you found where I live"
"You got me there" He raises his hands in surrender. You laugh as you move out of the door way.
"Wanna come in and do a formal exchange?"
"Yeah sure"
Jungkook walks in and can't help his eyes from wondering. Your apartment is nothing too exciting, it's boring he thinks.  But it's not like his is any better, if you stare closer into his apartment you'd find some unpacked boxes that he hasn't bothered to unbox and just stares at since he moved in.
But your apartment smells great.
You walk into your kitchen and internally slap yourself.
"Wow, looks like you did more than find my ID" he exclaims as he puts his helmet and your bag on the table.
"I'm so sorry, got a little frustrated" you rush around to pack his things that you left all over your counter back into his bag.
"I can't blame you, had a little fun with your stuff too. I even tried your cherry lip balm. Might get it for myself too" he puckers his lips and you eye him hoping he's joking. You take it as the time to admire his lips and you catch yourself before you're staring for too long.
"Did you really?" You ask sternly.
"If I did would you be mad?" He raises his brow maintaining his comedic and warm personality.
"Well yeah, I barely barely know you" you emphasise. Which is weird that you let him into your house even though you barely know him.
He nods knowing that it would be weird to try a stranger’s lip products.
"Well, I'll have you know that I had my own cherry lip balm"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah why do you think my lips look so good" he sends you a kiss which you dodge and you both laugh at.
"Never thought I'd find a guy who wears lip balm" you walk to your fridge.
"Yeah guys need to start moisturising their lips, makes it easier during kissing"
You ignore he's comment and jungkook thinks he might have over stepped it, which you wouldn't agree to but you wouldn't disagree.
"Do you want something to drink?" You ask staring at` him from your fridge.
"Yeah sure"
You walk over and hand him a beer.
"I almost forgot, I got you this" you knit your eyebrows confused about what he might have forgotten to give you, you don't even know eachother.
You watch him reach into your bag and you stare at him questionably.
You closely monitor as his hand pulls out a little box which you recognise is from a bakery. Your confusion grows even stronger.
He pushes the box to you and you reluctantly take it and open it. It's a little cake slice.
"Why-"
"I saw on your ID that it was your birthday so I thought I'd get you that"
You blush at his kind gesture. You didn't get to celebrate your birthday, you don't care though  but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Your sister is in another country while your boyfriend is... you don't even know where he is actually. You were supposed to spend the day together but he bailed and so you decided to spend your night alone and do your report at  the café and finish it at home. But you couldn't cause of this inconvenience. You wouldn't call jungkook an inconvenience though, right now he was a making your birthday something memorable.
"Thank you" you smile gently.
"No problem, but were you going to spend your birthday night by yourself?" He asks trying to lighten the mood with his charming tone. "Did you do anything exciting today?"
"I went out with my friends for lunch" you remember.
Jungkook nods.
"But that's not enough, you can't spend your birthday night alone."
You chuckle at his enthusiasm to lighten your mood.
"I'm fine jungkook, this cake is enough for me" you hold the little box closer to you.
"Let's order some food and watch a movie" he pulls out his phone "that would be fun. Would you like that?" He stares waiting for your consent.
"I assume you've got a TV" he pauses to look at you.
"Yeah i do" you chuckle " and I wouldn't mind" You say wondering if it's the right choice to allow a stranger to stay any longer in your house. Jungkook didn't seem like a threat though he seemed quite like comfort to you. 
-
"How did you find my apartment anyways" you ask  in-between bites.
"Oh that was easy" he says as he takes his time to chew and swallow.
"Well I got your address from a document in your bag and when I got here all I had to do was say i was a friend of yours and showed them your ID"
You're stunned by the information.
"So they'd just let some random to my apartment"
"I'm not some random" he sounds offended.
"Then what are you, my friend?" You lean in closer to his face to mock him.
"I can be" his voice lowers as he leans in closer to you, also mocking. You stay looking at each other like that. Your eyes fall deep into his and so do his into yours. You pull back from your thoughts when you notice jungkook look at your lips.
"I think we should stay off the beers" you chuckle leaning back into your side of the couch. Jungkook at the other end of the couch leans back too,  seemingly agreeing with your statement.
Jungkook stretches his hand to your table to grab his can and emptying it down his throat.
"You know I didn't even notice you had tattoos" you say after sometime gawking at his tattooed arm.
He stretches his hand out and gawks at it too.
"How didn't you notice?"
"To be fair i didn't even notice you had even taken off your jacket" you take a dry swallow as you turn away from his gaze.
"Oh I took it off a while back" he eyes the black t-shirt he has on. "Wanna take a closer look?" he says hoping you say yes.
"Sure, I have a kin eye for art" you say moving closer to jungkook's side of the couch.
"Says the person who has such a boring apartment" he mocks
"You know what I'd loooove to see your apartment" you defend back as you lean your elbows on your couch head.
"I bet you would" the statement comes off a little sensual but you don't mind. You've gotten so comfortable with jungkook so fast, but he makes you feel comfortable more than anyone has. You've never found someone to tease and who can tease back, it's fun to have someone to have a progressive conversation with.
And now that you're staring at jungkook's arm you get to see and know a little more about him.
"Did these hurt?" You ask softly
"Not really. I've got a really high pain tolerance" he states proud of himself.  He watches you intently as you eye each ink and drag your finger over them.  You seem to forget that you're dragging your finger over his skin which causes him to feel every sensation of your touch.
"You must be great for bdsm" you say harmlessly. You say really random shit when you’re comfortable and slightly buzzed.
Jungkook almost chokes at your forwardness, but he doesn't let you in on his shock.
"Wanna find out?" he says and you choke on the air you suck in, a blush forms on your cheeks and you hope jungkook can't see it. He smiles seeing the effect he's comment has on you. He likes it.
"I'm just joking" he flicks your chin trying to establish he's playfulness. You’re disappointed cause you'd really like to find out, and you're not sure if he really meant it or he was seriously joking.
Being drunk around a hot man is not the best for you.
"You're sad?" You widen your eyes at his statement.
"What?" He lifts your chin to look at him. You're close enough at this point that if jungkook moved slightly your lips would meet. You're okay with it though,  you're comfortable with this , you're comfortable with him.
You’re actually really hoping he kisses you.
"Why are you sad?" His voice is low as his eyes stare deep into yours, you can't seem to turn away from his gaze. You don't want to lose the feeling, the feeling of being pulled into an unexpected moment of bliss.
"I-im not sad" you fumble around your words a little nervous now that he's speaking.
"Well  you look like it" He scoots closer to you and places a hand in your thigh. He watches for your reaction and when you don't protest he cups your cheek.
"Want me to take you on a ride on my motorbike?"
"So that what? I die on my birthday?"
"You wouldn't die if you're on my bike" you scoff at him "do you think I'd let you?"
"I don't know would you?" You trace you hands through his hair.
"I wouldn't. You'd be safe with me" his words make your heart flutter.
Jungkook's eyes lower to your lips and before you can make any comment his  lips are on yours.
He takes it slow giving you a chance to say no if that's what you want,  but you don't instead you tug on his neck pulling him closer to you.
You should've pulled away and said no, i have a boyfriend  but you didn't,  you don't.
You don't want to stop, you don't want this to stop. 
You don't.
He doesn't.
And by the way he's pulling you onto his lap goes to show how he really doesn't want to stop.
You want to keep this feeling forever.
You never want the feeling of his hot, wet mouth on your neck to stop. You don't want the way his large hands roam your ass to stop.
And he doesn't want the way you grunt and moan into his mouth to stop,  he doesn't want the feeling of you tugging on his hair  ever stop.
Some people would condemn you to why you're making out with a stranger on your couch, and to those people this is no better than a one night stand from a club.
"Fuck" he groans into your mouth and you halt your hips.
"What?" you scan his face for any un-comfortability.
"Nothing , it just feels good" he tugs at your hips to keep going and you do.
Your mouths meet again and jungkook sucks you into him once more. You forget any rational thought.  All the rational thoughts you should be thinking of like; what about my boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, are far lost in the bliss.
It's one thing that your doing this while you have a boyfriend but it's another thing to drag jungkook into this. You need to tell him, he doesn't deserve this.
But you can't.
You can't tell him. You don't want him to look at you like a bad person (but you'll be one if you keep going anyways)
You don't want to ruin this new found friendship, this new found comfort.
You can't let this go but you can't drag jungkook in too.
"Wait"- you say placing your hands on his chest and he stops worried.
"What? What's wrong? Did I-"
You shake your head.
"No, you've done nothing wrong" you get off his lap "I just can't I'm sorry"
"Don't apologise it's fine" he sits up feeling the uncomfortability from his groin. "Just tell me what's wrong"
You wrap your hands around your torso.
"I just can’t"
"Come here" he says softly to try and comfort you. He tries to take you into his arms but you move away.
"If you wanna stay over you can, cause we're drunk" you try and comfort yourself for your actions. "I'm going to bed."
You walk away and jungkook doesn't say anything, but watch you walk away.
Maybe he’s gotten to comfort himself, he thinks. He’s a strander after all why is he acting like he’s known you for forever.
When you wake up you're gonna kill yourself for letting a stranger sleep in your house,  just because what? He makes you feel this new found emotion and comfort.
-
You wake up with the sun hitting your face. Your feet touch the ground as you walk to the bathroom to wash your face.  As you stare into the mirror you remember the events of last night.
Jungkook.
You rush to your living room and obviously he's not there when you get in. But he left you a note.
I think I forgot to give you this....
And a follow up is a set of numbers, which is probably his phone number. You should probably call him to found out if he's okay.
You pick up your phone to call him but you stop.
"What If he's asleep, it's probably too early" you turn on your phone.
"10 am?, damn what the fuck" you must have slept late last night and really knocked out.
You tap in jungkook's number and you walk around nervously as it rings.
Soon enough there's a voice that picks up.
"Hello" the voice speaks and you begin to wonder If it's jungkook, the voice sounds too professional. Maybe jungkook gave you someone else's is number as a joke.
"Jungkook?" You speak nervously.
"Y/n?" He recognises your shakey voice "Are you okay, did you sleep well?" He asks concerned.
"Oh, I'm okay.  I was calling to check on you." Your fingers tap against the counter. "You left with saying goodbye"
"I didn't want to to wake you, you looked so peaceful"
So he saw you asleep, you hope you looked atleast presentable.
"Plus I left you my number" he adds.
"Yeah well,  what time did you leave?" You bite you lower lip.
"I left quite early, at 5"
"What? did you atleast sober up?"
"Yeah a little" you hear him chuckle.
"A little? Don't tell you didn't let yourself sober up fully" jungkook can feel the lecture coming.
"Y/n I'm fine, I got home safe" he sighs.
"And what if you didn't, jungkook you could've gotten hurt" your tone gets more disciplinary.
"Well I'm fine, but if it makes you feel better I'll never do it again mommy"
You roll your eyes and his snarky joke.
"Well I don't believe you."
Jungkook sighs from behind the phone.
"Well if you don't believe me you can come check for yourself" his tone is low.
"Where are you?"
"I'm at work" he says bluntly.
"Jungkook!" You exclaim. "You were going to work the next day and you let me make you drink"
You hear him laughing.
"I'm good y/n. I handle my alcohol well" you scoff at his cockiness. "Plus I wouldn't have gotten to kiss you if I didn't"
You can feel that feeling in your stomach ignite again.
"About that jungkook I'm sor-"
"I have to go y/n but I'll talk to you later. Bye" he cuts before you can apologise and something in you wants you to believe that he did that on purpose. He doesn't want to hear you apologise.
-
"You didn't say uno so you gotta pick up" You exclaim, holding you cards for dear life.
"What stupid rule is that" he whines "I'm literally about to win" he continues to whine but instead you grin at him and nod for him to pick up.
"I'm not playing anymore, let's do something else" he drops his cards in defeat. One thing you've learnt about jungkook through these rounds of uno is that he doesn't like to lose and you enjoy beating him.
"Why? Afraid I'll beat you once again" you mock, he rolls his eyes as they watch you pack up the cards.
"No. It's just that I haven't seen you in two weeks, you think of want to spend the rest of the night playing uno"
You chuckle "You mean spend the rest of the night losing"
Jungkook scoffs ready to defend himself like a child. "I would've won if you didn't bring up that stupid rule"
"It's the rules jungkook" you shrug your shoulders.
"A stupid one" he mumbles.
You return to your spot on the floor with folded legs, after placing the box of cards back on the shelf.
"So what do you want to do?" You fold your hands over your chest feeling self conscious about how jungkook now has his focus on you. He notices your little actions and moves his eyes from your body to your eyes to make you feel less awkward. But it only makes your mind race more.
"Lets talk about you, about me. About our favourite things." He moves his legs to get more comfortable. "Get to know each other, you know?"
You let some silence linger as you wonder if it's a good thing to do. Will you be able to go back if you start getting to know him. But to be fair there's no way of going back after you let him into your apartment again.
"So you're telling me that you, y/n? were a pageant princess?" He gasps in disbelief , as he gawks at the picture of you in your pretty pageant gown with a tiara.
"Yeah I was, is it so surprising?"
"Yeah, you were so cute" he looks at you analysing your features "what happened" he furrows his brows.
You swing the photo book and he groans when it meets his skin with a hard smack.
"Ouch, I guess you lost the pretty face to a bad attitude" he says through groans.
"Hey!" You exclaim as you continuously smack him with the book. Jungkook holds your wrists to stop you and when you do stop, he forcibly pulls you closer to him and you almost fall on top of him.
He lowers his voice "Hitting me won't get your beauty back princess" you squint your eyes when he grins.
You move back but jungkook stops you by your waist.
"I hope you know I'm only kidding " you look down at him as his eyes try to convince you. " I happen to think you have retained some of your cuteness from childhood"
"Jungkook if you want to express how beautiful you think I am just do it" you tease.
He smiles "Okay then" he pulls you closer making you sit on his lap. "Well y/n I think you're a very beautiful and stunning"
You shake your head telling him you're not moved.
"Well I'm not done" he grins. " I also think that you've got a really gorgeous smile and I love the why you blush when you do" there’s more he’d want to add but might be crossing a bridge he won’t be able to go back on.
"i don't blush" you turn away from his gaze.
He turns your head back to him with his fingers "well tell that to your burning cheeks" he traces his finger over the apple of your cheek and it makes you want to blush.
You want to open your mouth and defend yourself  but jungkook beats you to it.
" if you're about to say how your cheeks aren't burning,  I can take you to a mirror right now."
You can't fight back cause you know he's right,  you can feel your cheeks burning.  You feel It all the time when he looks at you or when his skin touches yours. And also when he has his hands rubbing your ass like right now.
"You look pretty when you blush" he whispers against your lips and before they can meet you push away. He furrows his brows in confusion , you smile to which his confusion grows stronger
"Let's talk about you now" you whisper back.
You've been talking about yourself and you want to hear about what jungkook likes or dislikes , or any of his embarrassing stories. You already know he doesn't like to lose but you wanna know more.
"What do you wanna know?" His tongue grazes over his lower lip as he stares at yours when you speak.
"I wanna know why a guy like you is single"
Jungkook is taken aback by your question. He let's the lump in his throat drop down as you wait for his answer.
You really hope he doesn't turn the question back to you,  cause you don't think you'll be able to lie that you're single. You shouldn't even have asked him, you're now regretting bringing the question up. You want to shrug the question away but he speaks before you.
"A guy like me?" He questions " what kind of guy am i" he leans back to hear your reply.
Your mouth releases a little laugh as you reply.
"Uhhh" you suck in a breath between your teeth.  Jungkook stares at you encouragingly.
"A guy like you, warm. Approachable" he gives you a look of being unconvinced.
"You're really hot, great personality. There's a lot I want to say but I can't" you whine at being unable to describe him.  Jungkook is hard to describe cause he just makes you feel alot you can't fit him into a word.
"Why don't I help you find your words" he moves closer and his hands returns to you hips.
"How?" Your voice lowers.
You're curious.
You watch his eyes lower and his tongue graze over his lips. Your heart beat begins to quicken.
"Tell me how you feel when you see me" you stare at him, lost in his eyes. He pulls you back to earth with a squeeze of your hips and a chuckle.
"Tell me"
"Uhh, I feel... relaxed. Like I'm at peace you know" he nods
"I also fell free and comfortable.  I usually don't feel free to tell people things like I tell you" you and jungkook have been texting when you're not around eachother and in those texts you've shared some things that you haven't been able to tell your boyfriend (cause he says he's been busy).
You've shared with jungkook how much work has you stressed and he's been supportive and giving you some solutions. You wish you could express to jungkook how much you wish your boyfriend would pay attention to you and give you his time of day, but you know it'll probably mess things up.
You feel fucked up for feeling peace, joy and comfort in jungkook when you're supposed to feel that from your boyfriend.  You just wish your boyfriend would step up and maybe you wouldn't have to look for comfort in another man.
"Now tell me how you feel when I look at you"
You sigh feeling more relaxed to express what you feel.
"I feel seen, I feel noticed and uh" you find it hard to say what you want to.
"You can tell me" his voice softens as he rubs your skin comfortingly.
"I feel wanted" you lower your eyes and watch your fingers that play with each other.  Jungkook’s heart pumps and a smile forms on his face. If only you knew how much he thinks about you and how you have him wrapped around your finger. He’s not even sure how it’s possible to feel this way about someone so fast.
"I'm glad you feel that way. I want you to know that I do want you."
You lift your eyes to meet his warm ones that never stop admiring you.
"Cause you make me feel wanted too" he adds and your heart sinks. There's no going back from this. You can't believe you're being this selfish by dragging jungkook into your fucked up life.
"Jungko-"
"Now tell me how you feel when I touch you" you swear his voice has dropped 3 octaves deeper. He moves in closer to you to empathise.
"Tell me how you feel when my hands are on you, when I caress you and when I kiss you" he places a kiss on your jaw. Your body automatically opens up for him to move in.
"Tell me how it makes you feel" his voice vibrates against your skin and you wonder how the fuck you'll be able to open your mouth if it's not to release a moan.
"Y/n" he encourages you to speak.
"it feels good, it feels fucking good" you spit out "it's warm. It feels suffocating in a good way." You pause to catch your breath from his kisses.
"It feels like you mean it, like you want to"
"And I do, I mean it so fucking much and I want to so bad." His mouth moves to yours and he wants to kiss you but he waits.
"Do you want to?"
Fuck.
You don't know what to actually fucking say. You don't want to say no cause you do want it but you can't say yes cause you have a boyfriend who's innocent and jungkook who's innocent too.
You just wish you and jungkook met in different circumstances. You wish you met him earlier. But if you did would it have felt this good.
" jungkook i-" your voice is cut off by jungkook's phone ringing. He stands to pick It up but he doesn't answer. Instead he just sends a text. You have no clue of who he's  talking to but you honestly don't need to know.
"Uh, I have to go" he says picking up his stuff. He seems in a little bit of a rush, you wanna ask him why but you need your own excuse to not answer his question.
"Oh okay" you walk him to the door. Your goodbyes are awkward and you don't even know why. Well you know why you're being awkward but you don't know why jungkook's being awkward.
When you lay in bed you think of what jungkook said.
Do you want this.
It's an important choice to make, and even if you ignore it now its going to come up later. It's better if you end it now.
Maybe you should break up with your boyfriend.
Riiing.
Your ringtone startles you a bit as you pick it up. You sigh when you see the caller ID.
"Hey babe"
You watch his face light up at seeing you answer.
"Hii" you try and feign some type of joy. It's not that you're unhappy to see him, it's just that your situation has you detached and thinking. How can you be falling for a guy you haven't known for long,  when your boyfriend has been their for two years.
"We're you asleep?"
"No, i was just laying in bed"
"Good. I have a surprise for you" he smiles.
"What?" You sit up so he can have a good view of you.
"I booked us a trip to the island"
"What?"
"I got them for your birthday, but I needed to clear my schedule first, so we couldn't go then"
You feel a lump begin to form in your throat.
"But now we can. I know that I wasn't there for your birthday and I'm sorry. I know getting you flowers and a card isn't a good enough present from your boyfriend."
"Mark it's fine I don't mind" well on your birthday you did mind, but now that you've fucked him over, his fuck-up doesn't feel as bad as yours.
"No no, I should apologise. So take this trip as my apology"
"Do you wanna go?"
This feels like another pressured question again.
If you say yes to one question then you're saying no to the other and you don't think you're ready to answer any question.
-
"I missed this" mark says nuzzling deeper into your neck. Your hands, like a programmed machine,  running through his hair.
" I missed being in your arms" you don't even answer your mind is to clouded with thoughts. You haven't talked to jungkook for the past week. Mainly because you haven't answered his texts or answered his calls. Or even answered the door when he knocked. You thought it would help you make a decision but it hasn't. It only made you confused (and cry a little).  Especially for the fact that Mark has now been trying to get back into your good graces (not that you feel that you deserve it anymore) it just makes you even more confused.
"I really want to be a better boyfriend y/n you know?" He lifts himself up. "I really want to be better for you"
"Mark please" you try and stop him, you don't need him saying what he wants to say. It's not gonna help your case.
"I really love you and I want the best for us" he kisses your hands and your chest tightens. You can feel the lump in your throat grow and air slowly leaving your lungs.
" I just really love you " he kisses your hand once more and you break.
"Mark please don't say shit like that" you stand, moving away from the bed. He stares at you confused at the sudden outburst.
"Y/n, what's wron- and mark? What do you keep calling me by name. Are you okay is something wrong"
"Nothing's wrong" your voice shakes.
"No there's something wrong" he narrows his eyes and walks to you but you put your hands out and walk backwards.
"If its about the trip, I understand why you can't go. It was selfish of me to think of my own schedule and not yours too" he comforts you, but there's nothing comforting about it.
" I should have been better with my planning. But we can do something else just within so i can make it up to you."
"You don't have to make it up to me" The tears burn in your line.
" I do babe, I haven't been the best boyfriend, you know"
And you haven't been the best girlfriend too, you've been the worst. You've been the absolute worst.
"No you don't. You're not a bad boyfriend. I'm the bad one" you lower your head and the tears fall. Mark notices and walks to hold you. You don't fight back and just let him hold you as you sob.
" YN you're not a bad girlfriend. You're the best. The best i can ask for and the best I'll ever need" his words pulls at your heart.  You hate this so much, you've fucked it for the both of you.
You sob into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be sorry. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?"
-
"Jungkook where have you been" a soft feminine voice speaks as he places his bags down.
"Ivy, can i just get some sleep I've been busy"
Ivy follows jungkook to the bedroom.
"Speaking of work. I called in to your job the other day and they told you you haven't been doing overtime" she folds her arms of her chest. "So where have you been if it's not doing overtime"
"I've been working on person projects" he says not bothering to stare at her.
"So you've been inbetween your personal projects legs huh?" She spits and jungkook's jaw locks. He doesn't like to argue with her, nothing ever goes anywhere.
"You know jungkook, you can make your life easier" she walks closer to his now shirtless and towel wrapped body. "If you just marry me, my dad will give you the money and you can be with whatever whore your wanna be with after that." Jungkook's body tenses when she lays her hand on his chest.
"Just marry me kook" her green eyes stare at him deeply.
"I'm not going to marry you ivy and you know it" He pushes her hand away.
"Then why don't you just break up with me!" She snaps.
"How many times have i done that? You won't fucking leave" he runs his hands through his hair frustrated.
Now that ivy thinks that he's seeing someone else, he only hopes she doesn't want to dig deeper and find you.
"Why do you even want me? You can find me other dude who'd be willing to fucking deal with this arrangement, shit"
"Why are you saying this like you weren't in favour of this before"
"I don't love you anymore, get that through that delusional brain of yours" he can feel the vein in his head want to burst.
"You never say that when we fuck"
"We haven't had sex for more than a year"
"Yeah because of you" her voice rises an octave.
"And that's because I don't want anything to do with you"
He walks into the bathroom and she follows.
"Jungkook what happened to us? Mm"
He stills, watching the water run down.
"Maybe it was when you threatened me just so I can marry you" more like when he realised she's crazy.
"But that doesn't change anything "
"It's does for me. You can't do all that crazy delusional shit and expect me to marry you "
He drops his towel and let's the water trial down his skin.
"Maybe you never loved me" jungkook groans listening to her speak.
"Maybe you’re right." He sends a cold glare. "Now can you let me take a shower in peace"
He stands waiting for her to leave and when she does he turns back to his warm water.  And with every touch of water all he care to think about is you. He just wants to be in your presence right now to feel some peace. To feel your warm embrace and touch.
To take in your scent that haunts him, to hear your voice say his name and tell him silly stories. He love listening to your mumbles.
But back to reality.
He might have just fucked up, but if ivy finds out who you are she's not gonna let it rest.
-
"Jungkook what are you doing here" you ask surprised but a little glad.
"Hearing your voice on calls isn't enough for me" he steps closer to you and you let him in.
"I've missed you y/n"
"And I've missed yo-"
"Show me" in a flash you're against the wall and jungkook has you off the ground.  "Show me how much you've missed me"
You connect your lips and soon that indescribable feeling is back. That feeling you've been missing and that you've been thinking of everytime when your mind isn't busy with work.
"I've been thinking about you and this ever since the first day I saw you" he lays you down on your bed and places desperate kisses on your neck.
"That must've been very hard for you " you say moving your hands to drop his jacket.
"Very  hard" he whispers by your ear and the goosebumps on your skin increase even though the heat in the room is increasing.
Jungkook's hands roam your torso until they find your chest, with your pebbled nipples.
‘’plus you’ve been ignoring me, which just hurts even more’’ he says looking at your face softly.
‘’im sorry,’’ you say but he doesn’t respond.
"but it looks like it's been hard for you too" he mocks you.
"If only you knew"
Even though you were ignoring him, you were dying inside. You couldn’t imgine how much you were hurting and confusing him.
You wonder if it was anything close to you were feeling. You’ve honestly been lying to yourself. And even though it sounds and seems a little selfish, you don’t want to let jungkook go. Missing him hurts.
You greedily capture jungkook's lips, he doesn't fight.  He let's you take the lead in the kiss while he takes the lead in getting you undressed.
You hungrily explore each other's warmth. Jungkook's hands leaves hot trails wherever he touches.
Jungkook presses your lips together even harder to try and fill in for all the times he's thought about you during all these weeks  and the things he'd do.
Even though he doesn't want to, he detaches your lips so that you can catch your breaths. You both breath heavily taking in eachother's heat.
Next thing jungkook's shirt is on the floor and your hands are on his buckle.
"You look so beautiful " he says staring deeply at you. You start to feel a little self conscious and your legs close.
"What? are you getting shy now?" He smirks at you. His hands gripping your thighs to encourage them to open.
"Don't be shy" he hovers over you and places  a gentle peck on your lips, to make you comfortable.
He studies your face as the question that's been on his mind rings.
"Do you want to do this?" He asks softly. The question brings you back to the reality you had forgotten for a moment.  This bloody question, might cost you your sanity and it has, ever since it was asked. He's probably just asking about the sex part but the look in his eyes makes you feel more like a pledge.  A pledge to him, a pledge to yourself and a pledge to something between the two of you. And you don't even know if you're ready to make any pledges.
"I do" you say and jungkook doesn't let your mind think any further when he has his lips on you and has your legs wrapped around him.
You feel the ache between your legs grow stronger and all you want is jungkook. To make you feel like he always does. To remind you that he wants you and you alone.
And to remind you that you want him. You need a reminder. You need  reason, cause you think it's going to make you feel less guilty.
Now that that the sounds of moans and groans has died down and you're now cuddled up under your sheets, jungkook finds it has the perfect moment to ask you.
"Why have you been ignoring me?" He continues to rub your back you continue to sink even deeper in him.
It not that he's mad, its more like he's worried. He's just found something he doesn't want to lose, something he never wants to lose and he can't lose it.
"Did I do somethi-"
"No" You cut him off " You didn't do anything. I've just been going through a lot recently"
"Is it that coworker?"
"No, i had him dealt with" you both laugh.
"good" he places a kiss on the top of your head and it makes warmth spread all over your body. You blush really hard.
"Then what is it?"
You stay thinking for while if you should even ask your question.
"How did it end with your ex" you spit out and he just halts his breathing "I assume you have an ex." You look up at him.
"Yeah I do. We just fell out of it. Wasn't meant to be" he simply states. And that begins the saga of having to lie to you.
Jungkook didn't even want to bring anything about exes up hoping he doesn't have to start lying to you. But you've backed into a corner.
"And if we did start to date. Would we also just fall out" you lift yourself off his skin and the cold seeps in.
"Is this what this is about?" He waits for an answer but you don't give. "What my ex and I had can't compare to what we have"
"Which do you prefer? "
Jungkook chuckles as if mocking you for asking such a question.
"You of course. I'd fucking pick you over everything." His hand caresses your cheek. "I'd  pick you over everything and anything" he says against your lips.
"I just wanna be sure" You say softly feeling worry and guilt creep in.
"Sure about what?"
"That I'm making the right choice"
Jungkook doesn't say anything he just nods in understanding.
"Get ready" he abruptly stands and picks up his clothes.
You knit your brows "I'm taking you out" he says determined.
"What jungkook its 10 pm"
"Yeah it's still early. Get ready, I'll meet you at the entrance. "
You watch him walk out and you scoff. What the fuck has gotten into him.
You smile.
-
"Jungkook what the fuck have you got me doing" you say still not over the adrenaline and fear of being on his motorbike.
"Just come with me" he pulls you into a building and has your hand in his every single step as he makes his way. After pressuring him you find out that he's brought you to  karaoke bar.
"Jungkook why did you bring me here you know I can't sing" your legs follow him as he leads you to your karaoke room.
"I know that's why I brought you here"
You walk into the small room and your eyes can't help but look around you've been to a karaoke bar before but it's a little bit different when you're not with a group of screaming girls.
"Here's yours" jungkook hands you a mic. "Wanna go first"
"No you go first you're the one who brought me here"
"Okay. I just want to let you know it'll be an easy decision after the judges hear my voice" he smirks.
You roll your eyes at his cockiness.
You wouldn't pin jungkook as someone to like slow music but you also wouldn't pin him as someone who can sing. Guess there's more you need to know about him.
Jungkook sings out to his love song of choice. He passionately stares at you as he sings every word and you can't help yourself but smile widely. Fenty has nothing on the blush you have on now.
"If you wanted to serenade me you could've done it at home. You didn't have to drag me out into the cold night." You say as jungkook ends his serenade with kissing you on the forehead.
"I'm no basic, boring man sweetheart"
He surely isn't. He takes a seat in the little couch as he watches you sing now.
Unlike him you go for a more upbeat sing about how you're the girl of any man's dream.
After doing  your little dance and pointing at jungkook. Your song comes to an end and you throw yourself on the couch and into jungkook's arms that wrap around you warmly.
"You're definitely the woman of my dreams" he smiles down at you.
"I don't know who the judges are gonna pick now" you brush your nose against his.
"I don't know about them but I'd pick you" his hand moves to your hip.
"That's the only reasonable answer" you lean closer into him.
"Mhm" he closes in and your lips touch. You relish in the warm feeling and the hot touch he has on your skin.
You're too focused on eachother's mouths that you don't see the couple that notices you through the clear door.
"Is that jungkook?" The guy asks with furrowed brows. He eyes jungkook's tattoos a little longer.
"You know him?" His girlfriend asks.
"Yeah but who's the girl that with him? Cause that's not ivy"
And as if on cue you and Jungkook separate and your face comes into view.
"Y/n? What the heck is she doing here." His girlfriend exclaims this time.
" you know her ?" He stares at her.
" Yeah she's my friend  and that's not her boyfriend."
Her hand goes to the handle but her boyfriend stops her.
"Let me do it." He opens the door and calls out.
"Jungkook?" He calls out.
Jungkook turns to face the door and his heart drops when he sees his friend.
"Fuck" he mumbles " Taehyung what are you doing here?" He stands blocking you from taehyung's sight.
" I came from a date with my girlfriend , then I saw you and wanted to say hi to you and ivy. But I can see a whole lot of you and not a whole lot of ivy. what's going on bro?" He whispers.
Taehyung glances over you once.
"Can we talk outside?" He lightly pushes out the door. That's when your friend walks in.
You sat awkwardly on the chair as you wait for jungkook to finish talking with his friend. Even though you don't know what him and his friend are talking about you know that something is definitely not okay, and that feeling of guilt starts to bubble inside of you. Your face falls and heart drops to your ass when you see your friend walk into the room.
Now you're fucked.
"Y/n what are you doing here?" She laughs more in shock.
"Sana listen to me"
"I'm listening " she takes a seat. "Now tell me the reason why I just found you kissing another guy who's not your boyfriend. or maybe you and Mark broke up tell me, maybe I'm mistaken."
You begin to panic and you know you're gonna stumble on your words soon. You're not scared that she might tell Mark, you're more afraid of the fact that she might start to see you in a different way. And the pressure to tell Mark intensifies . You fucked up you know it and you feel bad for it already.
"It's not like that. Mark and I are still together." She gasps to mock you. " it's just that me and him haven't been good recently and I-"
" you found another guy and cheated." She blunts out.
" it's not that I cheated, well I did cheat but it's not like I went out looking for jungkook. He found me and things just happened I didn't mean for them to happen but I couldn't stop it." You panic the words out.
"Y/n I'm not here to judge you. You're my friend the last thing that I'd want to do is Judge you but as your friend I wanna know what's going on and I want to hold you accountable. Maybe give you some advice help you with your situation" she places a hand on your shoulder "So you can tell me"
You run your hands over your face and groan.
"You know I never meant to actually like jungkook. But I did. And I don't know what to fucking do. I don't wanna hurt mark" you sigh "Plus he's been trying to make up for his wrongs and I feel so bad. I'm the one holding this relationship back now" you frown.
" Yeah I wouldn't say what you're doing is right" she laughs.
"Sana I'm being serious right now" you give her a stern look.
" Okay" her smile falls into seriousness "you aren't holy but Mark isn't any holier. He neglected you."
"But he's making up for it"
"Without first apologising and acknowledging what he's done wrong. Doesn't sound good enough" she leans back in her seat like she's a talk show host digging into the life of a celebrity. Sana has no friendship with mark, she doesn’t care for him. But that doesn’t mean she’s in support of your doings or his.
"I know you're in the wrong but don't let him off the hook so quick"
"But I just feel so bad"
You let silence linger for a little longer.
"Tell me this" She faces you. "Who do you love more? Jungkook or mark"
"Ugh I can't"
"You have to"
"I'm doomed if I do and doomed if I don't. Cause if I tell Mark I've been cheating he won’t want to be with me, and if I tell jungkook I have a boyfriend he won't want to be with me too. And I can't be selfish and lie cause it just hurts me and them both" you sigh ‘’ im scared’’
You take a sip of the beer you had.
"I don't even know how I've been able to keep it a secret. You know i'm such a bad liar" you release a bitter chuckle.
"You just have to take a risk. If you tell the truth and end up alone it's better than living a lie" sana adds. " just have to pick who you want to be with more"
"Argggggh"
She laughs "how good is the D that it has you this confused"
"It's not about his dick" you whine.
"Oh really? So your telling me that his heart and good personality is what makes you come"
You lightly slap her arm in laughter.
"How do you know he made me come" you lower your eyes at her.
She leans in closer to your face.
"I can see it on your face babygirl."
"Fuck this is gonna be so hard to think of. I can't keep running now"
"Jungkook you're cheating on ivy?" Taehyung whispers.
"It's not like that"
" Oh so are you and ivy are broken up?"
"I've tried to break up with her but she won't leave"
"Is that the reason you'll give for cheating?"
Jungkook groans.
"Not It's not. I just feel bad for dragging y/n into this." He runs his hands through his hair. " even though ivy says she doesn't care, she's going to freak out. I just wish she'd just breakup with me"
"I'm a shitty boyfriend why the hell would she want to be with me?" jungkook continues to mumble out, feeling the effect of his actions creeping in.
"Well I wouldn't say you aren't a shitty boyfriend." Jungkook glares at him "but you need to come clean."
"Yeah I do"
" Okay, who do you like more"
"I mean if I loved ivy I wouldn't be here right now. So I guess I like y/n more" he thinks a little longer about his words. "Actually I fucking love y/n more"
"Then there is your answer, now deal with it." Taehyung says. He’e really not the type to stick his nose in jungkook’s relationship but he feels the need to help him with this. He can see the toll that it has on him.
"It's not that easy" he whispers more to himself.
-
"Y/n" jungkook says before you close the door on him.
"You know I care about you right? Like I really do" you don't know where this is coming from but you understand and you know he's being truthful.
"Yeah I do"
It feels like a slight lift off his shoulders, jungkook just really needs to reassure you that he cares about you.  And he hopes that cushions the fall of his lies.
"I just want you to know that.  Cause I don't take what we have as a joke or for granted"
" and neither do i" you say holding your door open.
You stand there like two awkward teenagers.
"Have a good night y/n" you watch him want to walk away but your voice calls out and he halts.
"I know tonight didn't end so well" you both agree. The ride back home was quiet and all you could hear were the whispers of the wind, and it telling you to grow a pair.
"But i was wondering if you could stay the night" you hold your breath waiting for his answer. Jungkook's heart leaps for joy, that's a confirmation for him that you don't hate him. But maybe that's because you don't know the full truth yet
He knows it’s probably not going to be a light fall when the time comes.
"I can" he says walking towards you and you open the door to let him in.
"I really never want to lose you" he whispers to you before you shut the door.
-
"I know this is not better than being on a beach, but it's a good make-up" he says swinging your arms around. "Plus this is where we came for our-"
"Second date" you finish for him.
"Correct, when I made you my girlfriend" you smile when he turns to face you.
Mark is your first relationship that has ever made it past a year. You never thought you were going to end up a together, cause you were friends first, but you ended making official after deciding how much you liked each other and shared the same values.
Before dating you had spend a lot of time just hanging out as friends, but one night he had seemed to be fed up with just being friends and he asked you out. To which you said yes cause if how much he really fit into the box of what you were looking for.
But now that jungkook's come along you aren't sure of what you are really looking for.
You had so many bad experiences that when your relationship with mark hit a year. you began to overthink and wonder if it would end too, which caused a bit of a pull back from you but Mark assured you that he wanted you forever. Next thing you know you've been together for 2 years.
About a month after your 2 year anniversary you began to notice a pull back on mark's end.
It got you worried but you pushed away the thoughts thinking that maybe it was cause he had gotten a job a town away. Which had you two spending less time together.
You actually wanted to end it but he assured you that it was nothing and he was just stressed and that everything will be fine when he finds another job back home or if you move to him.
Moving out of town was a no from you and that caused a huge argument about how inconsiderate you are.
Next thing you know you're going weeks barely speaking to each other, he misses your birthday (bur tries to send a gift) and you meet jungkook.
And all of a sudden after meeting jungkook, Mark starts to care and be a better boyfriend.
Maybe you should've just moved to Mark.
"Let's take a picture" his voice snaps you back to reality.
"Yeah that would be cute" you say enthusiastically.
You snap a few photos with his phone looking like the most happy couple.
"Let me see them" you reach over to take his phone but he pulls back. You stare at him with knitted eyebrows.
"I'll send them to you" he rushes out his words. Instead of digging in deeper,  you just nod.
"Let's go before it closes."
The sun is setting and you're sat in a restaurant.
"Today was fun" you smile at Mark who returns the smile.
You feel his warm hand still on yours as he admires your face.
"What?" You question him with a tint of blush on your cheek.
"I'm just thinking of how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you" he places a kiss on your hand. You can't help but relish in the feelings of Mark showing you affection again. You missed this, this is what you've been wanting.
But even through this reconciliation you can't help but think about jungkook and compare what you have with him to what you have with Mark.
"I want us to get better. Fall in love again" he says.
"You're saying that like we fell out of love" you say under a chuckle.
"No no that's not what I meant, I just want us to start again" you sit there listening to him as his thump strokes your hand. "Cause I really love you y/n. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you"
Normally the thought of spending the rest of your life with Mark should excite you, should make you happy and be the only thing that you want to do. But with jungkook in the picture you're unsure. Not unsure that there's something to hold on to with jungkook and what you could have (assuming he even wants to be with someone who had a boyfriend all along )
You begin to wonder If I would be worth it to leave Mark for Jungkook, what if jungkook decides to leave after you tell him then you'll end up alone at the end. but you'd have to tell Mark everything if you do decide to start over.
"Do you love me y/n" he asks voice vulnerable and weak.
" Huh?"
"Do you love me?"
You stare at him hoping hoping silence isn't too long to cause suspicion of doubt.
You guess it's time to make a decision.
" I do love you" you spit it. from the lens of a microscope your words carry a fib but you've already said it.
Mark smiles.
"Maybe we should think about you moving with me" his words take you back, moving out of town and in with him will mean a lot. It'll mean you'll have to find work in a new area and you don't know if you wanna go through that.
"If you're worried about a job, I already have something lined up for you" he says like he just read your mind. You wish he could read your mind so that you don’t have to tell him about jungkook yourself.
"What do you say babe?" He holds your hand tighter trying to evoke an answer.
-
Jungkook furrows his brows confused to why the lights in the apartment are dimed.
As the moves his hand to brighten the lights, ivy's voice stops him.
"Don't turn them on you're gonna destroy the ambience" she chuckles but jungkook doesn't find anything amusing.
"What's going on?" He says sounding tired. And frustrated.
"Why don't you sound happy, look what I did for you" she says maintaining a her bubbly persona.
Her hand wraps around Jungkook’s wrist to pull him to the dinner table.
He sighs when he sees the alignment of decorations and food set up.
"What's this ivy?" He groans
"I prepared dinner for us. So that we can start  over."
He puffs out a gush of air. He's honestly tired of this and just wants it to end. He needs to break it to her for the last time.
"I won’t be here long enough for dinner" he says bluntly paying the table that had over and hour's worth of preparation no mind. Jungkook hears her light steps follow him.
"What do you mean" she watches him and gets even more confused when she watches him pull out a suitcase.
"Jungkook? "
"I'm moving out" he wishes he had done it earlier maybe it would've been better. Jungkook doesn't even get the chance to watch her face drop, too occupied with packing. He’ll return later on to collect the rest of his things.
"I found an apartment last week " he says the words stoically.
‘’jungkook, you can’t be serious’’ she begins to panic.
“ivy’’ he says softly and for the first time in a while he stares at her.
“im sorry’’ his words come out as genuine as ever. Even though things may have changed between the two of them, he still remember the love they had in the beginning and the girl she was before.
‘’kook what about us, we’ve been together since high school’’ tears fill her lines.
‘’I know, but maybe it’s time to move on.’’ He sighs ‘’I don’t wanna hurt you’’
She sniffles, ‘’well, do you hate me?’’
He shakes his head ‘’I don’t hate you, I never have’’
‘’I just don’t think we’re good for each other.’’
She places her hands on his chest in plea.
‘’kook I love you’’
He wraps his hands around her wrists to move them.
‘’I know, but I don’t think we’re good for each other’’
‘’we can start again.’’ She rushes her words out.
‘’you’re gonna be okay ivy’’ he walks past her.
It makes his heart hurt a little to do this but he knows its for the best. He always thought he’d end up with her forever.
Fell in love in high school and thought they were soulmates. But the world showed him otherwise.
Ivy began to change, got a little reckless and obsessed. Jungkook stayed thinking she would changed.
He noticed how she just got paranoid about thinking jungkook was cheating, when he wasn’t at that time. She got a little overbearing but he stayed for whatever stupid reason.
-
‘’I’ll call you when a get on the uber’’ you speak into the phone.
You haven’t spoken to jungkook in a while. He never called you. So you assumed he must’ve forgotten about you.
After thinking long and hard about it. You sent him a text about how you don’t think you could continue what you had and how sorry you are.
It hurt you to send that message but you had to. You couldn’t give up your life for someone you had just met.
Even though you haven’t told mark about it, you assume it would be alright as long you end it with jungkook.
He never responded so you assume he got the message. His lack of respond make sit easier for you to leave but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt your feelings.
You wonder how things went from zero to hundred and back to zero in a second.
But it’s reality, it’s not a fantasy where jungkook and you would end you together forever.
It was fun while it lasted.
When jungkook got your message, he couldn’t respond cause that’s not where he wanted to have this conversation. He wanted you talk to face to face to see if you’re really being serious.
He doubts though, you can’t just change overnight.
He hasn’t texted you in some time but you also haven’t called or texted him too. So he assumed you needed some time.
He had to settle down and figure out how he was going to tell you and fix all this.
He knows he’s been looking at this situation with rose coloured glasses on, but that doesn’t make what you have any less true.
You could work through it right?
Reading the text hurts jungkook every time, it confuses him too.
But he’s not going to let this go just like that.
‘’hold on’’ you call out when you her a knock at the door.
Your hand turns the nob and when the door open your heart sinks that you almost close the door.
‘’yn’’
He soft voice speaks and your heart breaks.
‘’jungkook’’
He watches the way you avoid eye contact.
‘’can I come in?’’
‘’I’m busy I have somewhere to go’’ you say trying to get him to go.
‘’yn please can we just talk’’
You sigh after your internal battle. You open the door to let him in.
When jungkook walks into your room he eyes the packed bags you have laid out, looks like you’re moving.
That explains why you’re dressed like you’re about to leave.
‘’you’re moving?’’ he asks but doesn’t stare at you.
You don’t answer but you feel how distant you from him. Peace is far from you right now.
‘’with who? Your boyfriend?’’ jungkook didn’t mean to say it but he did. He’s frustrated and a little angry.
‘’what?’’
You’re taken aback by his words and your heart begins to race.
‘’w-what are you talking about’’
‘’I know yn’’ he says softly and unmoved. His fingers in his pocket tap away.
‘’what do you know’’ you sound like an idiot right now.
Jungkook chuckles.
‘’I know’’ he says sounding a little shameful. His words confirming your thought and you sigh rubbing your head.
He walks around your counter and leans elbows against the surface.
His eyes on you feel heavy and they add pressure to your chest. You can’t tell what he’s thinking or feeling which makes it even worse.
Is he mad and came here you tell you off, or does he not mind. That’s not possible he definitely feels some type of way about it.
‘’I don’t care yn’’ he runs his hands over his face.
You don’t register his words before you speak.
‘’how? When did you find out’’ you lower your eyes to the ground and rub you hands over you arms feeling a wave of cold air wash over you. You feel embarrassed.
You feel like puking like the world is closing in.
It’s worse than how you felt when sana found out. You feel like a heavy weight crush over you. The pressure on your shoulders increase.
Jungkook doesn’t answer your question but his mind goes to the birthday card he found in you bag the first day you guys met.
‘’this isn’t how I wanted to tell you’’ you avoid his eye contact. ‘’I was going to tell going to tell you I swear’’ your voice wobbles as the lump in your throat enlarges.
Jungkook nibbles at his bottom lip. He knows by your reaction you probably didn’t hear what he said but he can’t help but feel a lump of his own form in his throat.
He walks over to you and you feel his warm arms wrap around you.
You’re confused to why he would even want to hug you right now, he should be mad. He should be pushing you away and telling how much he’s disappointed and doesn’t want to be with you.
Telling you how much you aren’t the girl he thought you were.
He should be mad, but the hand rubbing your cheek and wiping away a tear says otherwise.
He uses the hand on you cheek to lift your face. You watch his eyes stare into you. They’re soft and gentle, like he’s not mad. His thump rubs your cheek and your body unconsciously moves into his.
His other free hand moves to your lower back and pulls you in.
Your thoughts forgotten in second, you loved how he always was able to make you forget everything else.
‘’its okay’’ he says and you finally register his words. ‘’I don’t ‘’
‘’you don’t?’’ you ask voice, weak and soft.
‘’I don’t baby’’ he whispers softly against your lips.
You want to ask him why, but you can’t. especially when his lips are grazing yours. You feel that warm and familiar feeling of his lips as they peck yours slowly and passionately.
You close your eyes feeling the moment sink in.
Feeling his lips sink in.
You tilt your head to allow a better angle for him.
His lips hungrily interlock with yours. body pulling in deeper until it impossible but you don’t pull back.
you don’t want to.
but even if jungkook doesn’t care, you can’t let this go on. You’ve already agreed to restart with mark and you can’t let that go.
Its’s better for jungkook anyways.
And since it’s your last kiss with him you wanna feel every last taste of him. Every feel of his lip ring grazing your skin.
Your hands find their way to Jungkook’s neck and into his hair. You pull him even closer as your tongues graze each other’s mouth.
The light moans and grunts you release causes a wave to wash over him, like electricity.
He nibbles at your lower lip as his hands move to grope your ass.
You moan.
‘’jungkook’’ you say his name for no reason, but you cant think your mind is foggy and you’re out of breath.
‘’you make me so crazy…’’ he says before going back into overlapping your tongues.
He makes you so crazy too. So crazy that you forgot about the uber mark called for you.
But in this moment you couldn’t think of anything. With the way jungkook was holding on to you, you couldn’t.
He kissed you like you were the air he breathed, the air he needed.
The air he wanted.
This kiss too made him forget everything too, he has just restarted his life and he wants you to be apart of it.
His lip move to your neck and leaves kisses everywhere he can. You gasp and pull at his hair when you feel his hands roam your body.
‘’I only want you yn’’ his lips kiss you by your ear as he whispers ‘’I only want you…’’
His hands move to your thighs and squeezes lightly.
If you let this go any further it might be hard for you to leave.
‘’jungkook’’ you whimper out.
He hums and pulls head away from your neck.
‘’I can’t’’ you say with a heavy heart.
You watch how his face falls and it breaks your heart.
‘’im sorry, I did this, im sorry I dragged it out’’ your body pulls away and the cold seeps in. ‘’I shouldn’t’’ jungkook felt like he was having his heart ripped from his chest.
‘’im sorry’’
Jungkook wants to be mad but he remembers his own transgressions.
He did plan on telling you about ivy when he came here, but he just got so distracted.
And he doesn’t think he can tell you right now.
What would be the point anyway, you don’t want to be with him.
He watches you walk over to your bags and text someone.
He folds his hands into fists frustrated with himself for bring a coward and letting you go. But he can’t fight for you, what ground does he have to stand on. He’s a liar too.
And he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell you.
All this for you leave. He’s really hating himself right now.
But it’s not the right time for him to fight for you, it would only make you more confused.
‘’im sorry too’’ he’s apologising for many things some of which he should’ve told you about.
You listen to him speak. You were kinda hoping he would say more to make want you to stay, make you not want to leave.
Just something to make you realise you’re meant to be here with him.
But you guess there are none.
But it’s not his job to make you want to stay.
‘’Thank you for everything jungkook’’ you try to form a smile.
_-_
I'm glad I have this out of my drafts now. :)
800 notes · View notes
lanadelnegan · 1 year
Note
Hi I’m kinda shy about this one. So the reader has been traveling with dead city cowboy Negan for awhile and she’s liked him for a long time but she’s a virgin and she wants him to take it.
Don't be shy bb, I am a slutttt for dead city Negan. Basically, think of this as if you were in Ginny's shoes, but you're 18.
Our Little Cabin
Dead City!Negan x Reader
Warnings: smut, 18+, NSFW, virgin reader, vaginal sex, fingering, family death (reader's mom), reader seduces the hell out of negan, extreme age-gap (reader is 18, negan is 50ish), masturbating (both), masturbating in front of Negan while he refuses to touch you, daddy-kink, breeding kink, cuddling, pure filth
A/n: If you like slow burn, sexual tension and a "hard to get" daddy Negan, this one is for you. I promise one day I'll finally write a fic without daddy-kink, but today is not that day.
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"Can we go home now, Negan? My legs hurt." I complain, dragging my feet lazily through the leaves.
He stops and sighs, resting his hands on his hips. I stop too and stare at him. That damn cowboy hat.. I swear he wears it just to tease me.. and it's working.
"Yeah, doll. Sun'll be going down soon anyway."
"Ugh thank god." My head falls back dramatically and he chuckles as we start our way back.
Negan took me under his wing a few months ago when some assholes attacked Oceanside, killing my family and everyone I know. I was lucky - if you wanna call it that - enough to escape. I ran into Negan in the woods and it's just been me and him ever since. I'm thankful for him, considering I never had a dad or father figure growing up. My mom was my best friend.. and now she's gone. But at least I have him.
I've grown attached to Negan over the recent months.. But something feels.. different lately. I'm not sure what suddenly changed over the last few weeks, but I've caught myself imagining things about him that I shouldn't. Even touching myself to the thought of him. I feel so guilty afterwards, but I can't stop. I've never been with anyone.. never kissed anyone.. never touched anyone. And my body is screaming at me for it. I can't even look at him anymore without imagining what he looks like under his clothes.
"Why're you so quiet, kid?" He glances at me as we walk.
Ugh, I hate it when he calls me kid.
I shrug. "Just thinkin'."
"About?"
"Doesn't matter." And I've convinced myself it doesn't. I'll never be with someone romantically, because for one.. it's the apocalypse. It's not like I have a school full of hot boys lined up ready to ask me to prom. Not that I'd give them a chance anyway. I'd probably be more into the teachers. And second, the man I want would never think of me that way.
"That's not true."
"You don't even know what I'm thinking, so how can you say that?"
"Anything you think about - worry about - matters to me, y/n. So, spill."
We finally make it back to our little cabin. We've been staying in it for awhile, stocking it with food and supplies. No one has found us yet.. It's kinda nice. But I won't get used to it. Because nothing good lasts forever.
I throw myself on the couch dramatically, as if our walk that we've done a hundred times now could've killed me.
"I don't know... I just, I feel like most kids - people - my age have already experienced more in life that I have."
"Like?"
"Sex." I blurt before I can stop myself. I look to Negan to see his reaction, but he's surprisingly not that alarmed. His eyebrows are raised as he studies me, probably more shocked that I actually had the balls to say that in front of him.
"Listen, I don't really feel comfortable doing the whole birds and bees talk with you."
My cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and I nod disappointedly.
"Sorry, it's just.. I - no one's really talked to me about it before. My mom said she would when I was ready.. but then she.. she.." I fight back the tears. I hate crying. You can't come across weak in the times we live in and I've been forced to be strong my entire life.
He looks at me finally and sighs, holding his arm out for me to come snuggle next to him. It's not the first time he's held me as I've cried over my mom. Won't be the last.
I bury my head in his chest, sniffling, as his hand rubs my back.
"Alright, kid. What do you wanna know?" He gives in, feeling sorry for me.
"Well, I know how it works, but I guess I just wanna know what it feels like." I feel him tense underneath me as he adjusts himself awkwardly.
"No boyfriends at Oceanside?"
"There were boys.. but none that I was interested in."
"You'll find someone when the time is right. You're still young."
"Well you don't have anyone, and you're.. not young."
"Jeez, kid. Thanks." He chuckles. "I did have someone. A few someone's actually. Lost them all to this cruel world." He admits and my heart hurts for him.
"Well, you have me now." I get more comfortable, laying my head in his lap and looking up at him. He shifts uncomfortably but eventually relaxes and even strokes my hair lightly.
"Yeah, I do. And nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe with me, doll." Butterflies swirl around in stomach, but I know he doesn't mean that in the way I wish he did. He sees me as a kid.. hell, as his kid. For a moment my heart sinks from jealously at the "someones" he mentioned. Lucky bitches.
"...Negan.. does it.. feel good?" I blush a little.
"Sex? .....Yeah, doll. It fucking feels good."
"Will you.. show me?" I stare up at him innocently and his hand abruptly stops stroking my hair.
He bends over, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Time for bed, darlin'." He pushes me gently up and off his lap before standing and heading to his room. The cabin is small but we each have our own rooms. His is the smaller one, right across from mine. He wanted me to have the bigger one.
I sit on the couch, feeling defeated and stupid. What was I thinking. I relax on the couch for a little longer, choosing to read a book to take my mind off what just happened. After an hour of barely keeping my eyes open, I close the book and head down the hall towards my room. I stop in front of Negan's door, peaking through the crack. He always leaves his door a few inches open just so he can hear if anything happens. My eyes widen when I notice the sheets are barely covering the lower half of his legs, revealing the rest of his body. His tan torso is exposed, showing his peppery chest hair, and his black boxers are low on his waist. I restrain myself from not jumping him right then.
I eventually make my way back to my room and change out of my clothes, throwing on some shorts and a tank top to sleep in. I can't get the image of Negan's body out of my head and find my hand slowly making its way towards my aching center once I'm finally in bed. I close my eyes, imaging Negan between my legs as I touch myself. I don't bother suppressing my moans, confident that Negan is fully asleep. "Mmm, Negan!" The sound of his name rolling off my tongue as I'm pleasuring myself brings me closer to the edge.
"Oh, Negan. Right there!" My door suddenly swings open and I snap my eyes open to see a worried Negan standing in my doorway.. still in his boxers. My hand flies out of my shorts and I throw the sheets over me.
"Oh my god, can you knock?!"
"I - you yelled for me." He says flustered. I notice the way his face reddens when he realizes what I was doing.
I gently pull the covers off me again and spread my legs a little.
"What are you doing, y/n?" He stands in front of me at the doorway, refusing to look at anything other than my eyes. That's okay.. I bet I can make him look at me down there. I like the challenge.
"What's it look like?" My bite the tip of my finger seductively at him before sliding my shorts to the side, completely revealing my pussy to him.
He glances down with a serious look across his face, like he can't believe I'm doing this. And neither can I. This is so unlike me, but I'm so desperate for him I don't even know how to control myself anymore.
The fact that he's still watching encourages me to continue. I use one hand to pull my shorts to the side and the other to slowly slide a finger through my wet slit. "I just wanna know what it feels like, daddy."
I study him closely, noticing the way his jaw ticks at the nickname. My eyes travel lower and I see his bulge through his boxers. It looks so big, but I'd be determined to make it fit no matter what.
My finger dips inside of me and I arch my back a little and moan, putting on a show for him. He stands with his back against the wall, refusing to move.
I start rubbing my clit slowly and get frustrated when he still isn't reacting. "Negan, please touch me."
He rubs a hand down his face with frustration. "Goddamn it, y/n."
"I just.. I need you. Please." I cringe at my desperate attempt to have him touch me. I need this man so bad it's embarrassing.
"I can't, baby."
"But you like watching me, don't you?"
I take it as a yes when he doesn't say anything and that's all I need before pushing myself over the edge. "Negan!" I cry out as my orgasm rushes through me. Even in the dark, I can see the lust burning through his eyes.
"Go to bed, y/n." He demands but I'm unable to read his tone. Is he mad, proud, annoyed?
I fall asleep at the thought of him giving in and touching me. Maybe if I think hard enough, I'll manifest it.. I heard that shit really works.
Negan's POV:
That girl is gonna be the fucking death of me.
She's been so flirty with me lately and I've been trying to ignore it. But fuck if she's not making it hard. Literally.. I'm hard as a fucking rock right now.
I refuse to touch my dick while thinking about her. She's thirty-fucking-three years younger than me for fuck's sake.
She's confused. She doesn't want me, and she damn sure isn't getting me. Apocalypse or not, it's still fucking wrong.
I drag a hand down my face and sigh. I shouldn't have watched her, but I couldn't look away. She flashed her fucking pussy right in my face and I just stood there.. watching her. Fuck me.
My dick is throbbing and I know I won't be able to sleep until I get some relief. "Fuck it."
I pull myself out of my boxers and immediately start stroking my dick. I think about anything but.. her. Fuck.. y/n. That pretty little wet pussy dripping right in front of me. The way she said my name when she came.
"Ahh, fuuuck. Y/n, fuck." I cum hard and fast and immediately regret it afterwards. Fuck is wrong with me.
I can't - and I won't let myself think about her like that again.
Y/n's POV:
I wake up before Negan and decide to read my book some more in the living room. It's a romance novel that I found one day in an abandoned car. I've read it four times already, but it seems to be the only romance I'll ever get in life, so why the fuck not.
"Morning, sunshine." Negan says sleepily as he walks towards the kitchen next to the living room. He grabs a handful of berries we picked yesterday and tosses them in his mouth before making me a cup full and putting them down next to me.
"Morning. Thanks." I say without looking at him.
He sits on the couch next to me. "You wanna talk about last night?"
My cheeks redden. "Nope."
"Okay, then I will." Great, here comes the lecture. "Y/n, I shouldn't have watched you. We both know that. But, I think you're just confused. It's just been the two of us for months now and you're all young and.. fucking horny and shit. But, us? It can't happen."
I stay silent, pretending to read my book.
"Seriously? The silent treatment? You sure did have a lot to say last night."
I remain stubbornly quiet, popping a handful of berries in my mouth.
"Y/n, I don't understand why you're upset right now. Talk to me."
"I'm not upset." I snap. "I'm embarrassed.. humiliated. I was stupid to think you'd ever be into me."
He sighs and I see his head drop out of the corner of my eye. "Darlin', if I was your age, I'd be all fucking over you. Trust me. Please don't be embarrassed, okay? You are hot as shit and any man your age would be lucky to have you. We can forget it happened if that's what you want." He holds his arm out again, and like always, I snuggle into him.
"I don't want to forget." My hand rests against his white t-shirt and I want so badly to slide underneath it and run my fingers through is tummy hair.
A moment of silence goes by before he finally whispers. "Me neither, doll."
I look up at him, my face dangerously close to his. "I love you, Negan."
His hand reaches up to caress my face as if he's scared to hurt me. "I love you too, baby... Just not like that."
He wipes the tear that falls from my cheek and my heart shatters in my chest.
One month later...
My feelings for Negan haven't faded; I'm just better at not showing them. We've been more touchier than usual... cuddling on the couch, holding hands when we walk, but nothing "inappropriate." We also haven't mentioned that night. It's like it never happened, which still hurts when I think about it.
I get done bathing myself off after dinner and slip into my usual sleepwear before crashing to the bed and pulling my book from the nightstand. I could quote every line in it by now.
I start to drift off right before a loud boom hits right outside my window, following a bright flash of lightning. I try to fall asleep, but every time I doze off, another loud boom jolts me awake. I toss and turn for an hour before deciding to do something I know I shouldn't.
I crack Negan's door open slowly, trying not to wake him and gently slip into bed next to him. I also may or may not have taken my sleep shorts off, leaving me in just my pink panties and black tank top. I ease underneath the covers and lay facing him. He's usually a light sleeper, so between the thunder and me sneaking into his bed, I'm surprised he's not awake.
I'm completely still for a good ten minutes, making sure he's still sound asleep before I make any movements. When he lets out a little snore, I slowly slide the blanket down off of him. I imagine myself reaching over and running my fingers through his thick chest hair. I keep sliding the covers down further and further, careful not to wake him, until I get to just below the waistband of his boxers. My eyes trail from the deep v in his abdomen to the black hairs peaking above his underwear and I let myself imagine what it would be like to touch him right now.. to slide my hand down his boxers and feel him. I've wondered how big he is for so long.. trying to steal glimpses of him through his pants when he walks, or catch him with the covers down while he's sleeping.
I decide to pull the covers slightly further down and my mouth gapes open at the sight. He's hard.. so hard that I can see the outline of him through his boxers as it threatens to poke through his underwear. My mouth waters at his size and I know if he ever put it in me, it would definitely hurt like hell.
After I've stared at it long enough to feel like a total creep, my eyes travel back up his body and I almost yelp when I see his head is slightly turned and his eyes are watching me curiously, as if he's been waiting for me to make a move.
"I - uh.. The thunder.. I got scared." I explain.
"Nice try, kid. Go back to bed."
"Negan, please. Just let me sleep here. Nothing weird, I just.. don't wanna be alone."
He sighs and that alone tells me he's going to let me. I hide my excitement as I turn over, facing away from him and snuggling into the covers. They smell like him.. musk and leather.. and the scent makes me practically feral. He's still on his back, but my ass is barely touching his side. It's hardly anything, and it's not like we haven't cuddled before, but the thought of my ass so close to him sets my insides on fire.
Another lightning strike hits outside his window this time and I flinch a little, not purposely meaning for my ass to press into him even more. He doesn't react and I wonder if he's already asleep.
"Negan...?" I say softly.
"Hm?"
"Will you hold me?"
"Y/n, you are seriously pushing it. Go to sleep."
a few minutes go by before another boom echoes in the distance and I jump a little again.
He sighs heavily and turns over, draping his arm over my waist and pressing his body firmly against mine. His dick is pressed against my ass, but it's not as hard anymore... and that hurts a little.
"Go to fucking sleep."
I hold his hand tightly against my lower stomach and embrace this moment with him. I want him so bad that I can literally feel my vagina throbbing. If it could speak, it would be meowing like a cat in heat right now. I close my eyes and imagine him sliding in me from behind. I get a little too lost in the thought and accidentally arch a little, grinding my ass further into him. I feel him grow to full length against me and the feeling is enough for me to squeeze my legs together, desperate for some pressure down there.
"Where the fuck are your shorts?" He says in a deep and sleepy voice.
I giggle as he breathes heavily into my neck before whispering again.
"What the hell am I gonna do with you, baby?"
"Touch me?"
"I'm already touching you, y/n. My fucking dick is basically between your ass cheeks."
"Not yet.. my panties are in the way." I slip my panties off my legs smoothly and discard them on the floor.
"Y/n." He warns but before he can tell me no, I'm bare from the waist down and pressing my ass back against him.
"Trying to give this old man a heart attack?" He chuckles deeply.
"I can try harder than that if you want me to." I tease.
"Fuck, baby. Go to sleep before I do something we'll both regret."
"Like what?"
"...Like pound that pussy so fucking good you'll never think about another man's cock but mine."
"If you love me, wouldn't you want to be the one to give that to me for the first time? Wouldn't you rather it be you than some asshole who doesn't care about me."
He doesn't answer, so I keep pressing him. I place my hand back on top of his resting against my stomach and slowly slide it lower towards my aching center.
"Don't start something you can't finish, darlin'."
"Oh, I'm very determined to finish." I spread my legs apart slightly to guide his hand over my wet center. His middle finger easily slides between my slippery folds and we both moan at the feeling.
"Goddamn. Fucking dripping for daddy. He growls in my ear before leaning up a little and pressing his lips to my neck from behind. I move my hand from his, letting him take control - finally.
His finger moves back and forth between my wet slit, gliding over my clit every few seconds and making me moan each time. His other hand slips under me and up to my neck, gently squeezing my throat.
"This what you wanted, baby?" He breathes in my ear and chills spread over every inch of my skin.
I nod quickly as I feel my orgasm build from just his light touch. He hasn't even put a finger in me and I'm already on the verge of tears.
As soon as his finger rubs tiny circles over my clit, I lose it.. moaning out for him.
"Thaaat's it, cum for daddy, babygirl."
"Negan!" I scream out as his hand goes from my neck to my mouth, muffling the sound.
"Don't need the dead hearing us, doll."
He kisses my neck once I've soaked his fingers and then brings them to his mouth.
"Mmm, fuck, this pussy tastes so good I might have to eat it everyday."
I turn around in his arms to face him. My hand goes up to hold his face and my fingers play with his gray hair. He kisses my forehead before meeting my gaze.
"This is so wrong, baby." He strokes my cheek gently.
"Can't be wrong if it feels this good."
He tilts my chin up to press his lips against mine. It's so much better than I ever imagined. He knows exactly what he's doing, and even though I've never kissed anyone, he takes the lead and I'm thankful for it. I moan into his mouth when he deepens the kiss, his hand gripping the back of my neck now. The feeling of is tongue in my mouth makes me clench my legs again, and I think he notices because his hand on my neck travels lower until it reaches the back of my thigh. He lifts my leg over his and his hand slides to my ass, squeezing lightly before his long fingers tease my entrance from behind.
His dick is pressed into me painfully and I can't wait any longer. I need to touch him. Feel him inside me.
I reach my hand inside his boxers and pull out his big, hard cock. I try looking at it under the covers between us.
"You've never seen a dick before, doll?"
I shake my head no and admire him. It's so perfect.
He closes his eyes as I stroke it. "Fuck. So innocent, baby."
He kisses my neck while I pull on him even more. "You sure you want this, baby?"
I nod. "Yes, please. I've been wanting this for so long, Negan."
He lines himself up at my opening, my leg still draped over his so that he's in between my legs.
"Once we do this, you're mine darlin'."
"I'm already yours."
That's all he needs to hear to finally push the tip past my opening. I've never had anything inside of me other than a finger, and the feeling of his thick head pushing through me and stretching my walls has my mouth falling open.
"Tell me to stop, baby."
"No, keep going. Please." I beg.
He slides deeper and deeper until he's buried inside me completely. He stays still, letting me adjust. and kisses me through the pain. A pain that feels so good. I kiss him back hard, scratching his back while grinding my waist pathetically against him repeatedly. I moan in his ear and give him the go ahead to start moving. He fucks me deep and slow at first, letting me get used to him.
"So fucking tight baby."
He growls in my ear and vibration of his deep voice sends chills through me again until my pussy flutters around him.
"Holy fuck, doll. Do that again."
I squeeze my cunt around him again and he lets out the hottest moan I've ever heard. Not that I've heard a man moan before, but I just know that his are the hottest.
"I won't last if you keep doing that, baby." He warns and the thought of him shooting his load inside me has my head spinning.
After a few more thrusts that have my eyes rolling to the back of my head, I feel myself reaching my orgasm again and hold him against me so I can grind against him and ride it out.
"Negan, Negan, oh my god.” I breathe out as I push myself so hard against him that my clit rubs against his pubic bone creating the friction I need to send me over the edge.
"Goddamn." He thrusts into me faster and harder. "Gonna make me fucking cum already, baby." He tries to pull out but you tighten your leg around him so he can't pull away.
"Cum in me, Negan. Please." I cry desperately. "I love you. I want all of you."
He kisses me hard before his hips come to a halt. He practically yells out when he shoots his load deep inside me. "Ah, fuck! Babyyy."
The sound of Negan cumming is even hotter than his moaning from earlier - I didn't think it could get any better but holy shit. We're both a tangled, sweaty mess while our hearts beat out of our chest.
We eventually fall asleep with our lips still touching and his softening dick still inside me.
I don't even worry about the possibility of what could happen in the future.. I know I'm safe with Negan.. Here in our little cabin. He gently strokes my hair as we drift back off to sleep.
BOOM. The thunder crashes outside again, but this time I don't even flinch.
"You're not scared of thunder, are you, doll?"
I smile against his chest. "...No."
The End.
Brb, going to take an ice bath.
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salbei-141 · 4 months
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Daddy Issues (John Price x Reader)
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word count: 1.4k
warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, comfort, suggestive themes, daddy issues, confession, praise, etc.
a/n: I have exams, but this obviously takes priority (if y'all are doing exams, go revise loves, don't be silly and procrastinate like me, I believe in y'all more than I do me)
I can't lie I may be tempted to write a smutty part 2 to this I dunno...Price is a DILF and I know me and you both got daddy issues - I'm writing Captain Price fanfic after all, and you're consuming it, so I feel like part 2 is may be necessary...
Code name: Scarlet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You had missed 48% of your shots today, which was well below your usual average accuracy score. You felt yourself getting frustrated knowing you were better than this - you were a good soldier, you had made it to Task Force 141 all by yourself despite the setbacks.
Reloading your pistol, you moved yourself into the correct position and breathed in deeply, then pulled the trigger. You watched as it hit the outermost line on the target. What was with you today? You stood in silence staring at the target feeling dread crawling up your spine - maybe you weren't as good of a soldier as you'd believed you were. You felt yourself remembering the harsh words of your father reminding you that you were just a useless little girl.
Huffing to yourself, you slammed the gun down in front of you, rubbing your hands over your face, feeling that stinging in your throat. Were you really about to start crying? "Get a fucking grip", you muttered to yourself.
That's when you heard the familiar heavy footsteps of your captain. And before you knew it, his voice was coming from behind you, making you shiver lightly with its deep rumble, "You'll have some catching up to do Scarlet - Gaz and Soap are way ahead of you".
You don't know what it was, but the blatant disappointment in his voice had you wanting to hide away and sob - you were supposed to be his best soldier. The frustration and upset overwhelmed your senses, and you turned to face Price with a stoic expression and snappy tone, "Look can you just fuck off? You think you're making this any easier by standing there and breathing down my neck telling me I'm not good enough?".
He looked surprised - you had never snapped at him like this before, especially in front of other soldiers. He then knitted his brows together, staring deeply into your eyes with a blank expression that felt like the calm before the storm and spoke with a low tone, "Get in my office y/n." He watched as your eyebrows furrowed further and your eyes grew darker, as you went to open your mouth and assumedly defy his order, "Now y/n", you shut your mouth instantly and walked to his office as he towed behind while there was a gentle echo of whispers behind you.
As you opened the door to the office you walked into the centre of the room staring outside the window overlooking the premises. You refused to take a seat - it was defiant, but you also didn't want to get comfortable, you knew you'd fucked up royally.
The fire in you just 5 minutes ago had dwindled - you weren't aggressive to your peers, let alone your superior. But you bit at him - you weren't an aggressive person, just overwhelmed - you hadn't meant it.
You stood rigid and on edge - unsure how Price was going to respond to you. You watched as he rounded you, opting to stand tall in front of you, instead of sitting at his desk as you had hoped for.
"Want to explain what the fuck that was?" He stared down at you with piercing eyes that you were struggling to hold your gaze with his, his voice was gruff and stern.
The fire had dwindled in you completely, and you didn't know what to do or how to respond. You stared up at him looking lost - completely bewildered by your own actions, "I'm...sorry"
He watched as your eyes glazed over, he hadn't expected this when you were raising your voice at him mere moments before.
"What?", his brows furrowed confused by your sudden shedding of tears. You weren't an overly emotional individual and he'd never seen you shed tears during some of your most harrowing missions together.
You looked up at him ashamed - feeling like that useless little girl your father had said you always were, "I said I'm sorry John".
The use of his first name changed everything - it felt informal - he felt like he needed to comfort you as a friend, not as your superior.
"Come here y/n", he beckoned you into his arms, letting you wrap your arms around him and softly cry into his chest. He gently ran his fingers through your hair - unsure of what you needed from him right now, but the calming of your breaths reassured him that he was doing enough.
"What’s wrong?”, he pulled back slightly to see your face - your cheeks had flushed red and your eyes remained glossy with tears.
You shift your eyes around him, trying to avoid his gaze and his question. However, you feel as he gently lifted your chin, forcing your eyes to meet his as he waited for an answer.
“I’m just…overwhelmed”, he raised a brow at this - it was obvious that there was more going on.
“Can you tell me why?”, he sounded so gentle - he genuinely wanted to know - he cared.
You continue holding his gaze feeling the newly familiar burn in your throat as you tried to keep your tears at bay - not that it worked as you felt a few escape and trail down your cheeks again, being caught by John's thumb as he wiped them away.
“Do I disappoint you, John?”
"What?", he looked confused - you were probably his most hard-working soldier - getting this far wasn't easy, and it certainly wouldn't have happened if you were a disappointment.
“Do you ever think that I was a poor choice for 141?”, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing - he’d never doubted your abilities since the day he saw your first induction day to the SAS.
"Not at all love, why?"
"You said that I was falling behind...and my father used to tell me if I wasn't the best then I was just another person wasting everyone's time pretending to be something I wasn't, so I should just give up", you held your breath - never having admitted that.
He held your face gently, "Your father's a fucking idiot then love", you chuckled softly and he smiled seeing this - you weren't the same little girl your father would relentlessly put down; if your 10-year-old self could see you know, she'd be so proud of you, you knew that. John was right - your father was a fucking idiot.
"I couldn't be prouder to have you as a member of 141...but you're more than just a soldier love - I think the only time you've disappointed me was the day you got shit-faced with Johnny after your birthday last year"
You stared at him confused, absentmindedly placing your hands over his wrist that held your face, "Why?"
His tone changed - you'd never heard it come from him, "Because I had planned to ask you out -and finally taste those lips of yours"
Your cheeks felt hot as you blushed, shocked by his confession, "Why haven't you said anything?"
He leaned slightly closer to you, smelling the perfume that clung to your skin, "Lost the courage like the idiot I was"
You smile at him, your eyes having dried from the previous tears, "Well don't be an idiot again".
He chuckled lowly, "Don't plan on it love".
He pulled you closer to him, leaning down to meet your lips, kissing you softly, tasting the salt that lingered on your lips. He felt as you gently nipped his lip, feeling the way you smiled into him. He gently pushed you up against his desk, intensifying the kiss, as you both started to feel hotter, your senses overwhelmed by your captain as you felt his body pressed against yours. You gently pushed at his chest, making him pull away and look down at you - your pupils were blown, making him smirk.
"Take me on a date first?"
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your forehead and spoke lowly, "Of course love - as much I want to fuck you against my desk right now, I think I'd rather take you out first and fuck you in my bed, hm?"
You blushed hard at him, "Maybe you'll get to fuck me against your desk another time"
"I hope so love", he smirked stepping away and holding his hand out to you, "Best get back out there before someone comes to check on you thinking I've lost it on you, huh?"
You smiled at him stepping around him to leave, "Good girl", you stopped in your tracks, ready to turn back around.
"Didn't tell you to stop", you sighed as you heard his low laugh as you left his office to go back to your target - everything before being forgotten as your Captain preoccupied your mind for the rest of the day.
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kingkat12 · 1 month
Note
Would you ever write some mean!dom!Roman? Maybe where the reader uses a safe word and his whole demeanour softens 🥹 would be so cute!
mean dom Roman... as in the plain old Roman we all know and love? ahahah hell to the YES??? thank u so much for ur request, I loved writing this sm!! hope u like it hihi
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safe word (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, quite rough sex (gets better dw), foul language, humiliation kink ish?, cum-play, he's so mean oof
summary: sex with Roman can be pure heaven, but it can sometimes feel like he wants to put you through hell... has hell ever felt so good?
word count: 2,276
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"I-- I can't keep going," I held Roman close to me, letting out a small yelp against his neck as my hips moved away from his, aching and overstimulated. 
Something was a little different about him today-- Roman usually gave me time to adjust to his length before completely ravaging me like this, but tonight was different. I had an inkling that it turned him on to hear me whimper beneath him like this, that he couldn't help but enjoy the way my walls fluttered around him in a mix of exhaustion and desperation. 
"Aw," Roman breathed, his hand in my hair tightening as he spoke against my ear; "Too bad. Don't care."
I let out a small cry, my nails digging into his broad back. I knew I had a habit of getting overstimulated rather quickly, but I swore that something was different, I was sure of it-- was it maybe the fact that we had a little fight this morning? Did Roman need to take his frustration out on me like this? There wasn't any time to think about it, but there was one thing I could be sure of; and that was that Roman loved pushing me beyond the point of tears, and loved the way my eyes glossed over as they met his, looking like a complete and utter mess.
I spotted his growing smirk before he leaned down to kiss my neck, and I couldn't help but whimper at the force he was slamming his hips into mine. My broken noises didn't get any softer when my warmth swallowed him completely, feeling his cock go deep to the hilt. "Rome--" I let my head roll back down against my pillow, my legs wrapping around him as he continued his harsh thrusts. I knew he was being too rough with me, but the feeling of being pounded like this nearly turned me mute.
And weirdly enough, a part of me enjoyed it. Knowing that Roman had this power over me, the ability to make me feel nothing but engulfed by him, somehow made the pain subside into a darker pleasure than I was used to. Something about it felt... satisfactory.
Roman gripped my waist, nipping at my jaw as he let out a laboured grunt. I squeezed my eyes shut, crying out at the multiple sensations coursing through my veins as he murmured pure filth against my skin. 
"Act like a brat and I'll treat you like a brat," Roman purred, biting down on my earlobe-- something told me he was enjoying himself a little extra tonight. 
"Am not," was all I managed to say, whimpering as he continuously drove himself deep into me. 
This was seemingly not the right thing to say-- Roman wasted no time roughly grabbing my cheeks in one hand, my lips parting as I stared up at him with eyes full of tears. "I'm sorry, what was that?" he asked, an apparent sadistic smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.
I knew I would be in big trouble if I didn't stop going against him. "Sorry," My legs gave in to a quiver, wrapping around him even tighter as he let go of my cheeks. "Rome, please--" I didn't have time to finish my plea, letting out a loud whimper as he brought his hand down to press his palm against my lower abdomen, feeling himself rut into me. Roman let out a low, sinister laugh, clearly in awe at the sensation; I wanted nothing more than to hit him. But still, like a slave to the pleasure, I dug my nails further into his back instead, earning a rather lewd moan from him which usually was a rarity.
Roman's arms wrapped around my waist, moving me against him; despite how harsh he was being with me, I could at least find comfort in the closeness. My hard nipples brushed up against his chest, his lips pressing heated kisses against my body and mouth. Oh, the way he was holding me with complete and utter need-- if he hadn't been so harsh, I would've been floating around on cloud nine. "Please, Rome-- I really can't," 
With a grunt, Roman pulled his cock out only till the tip was left. I let out a sigh of relief; I had hope that he would maybe pull out, maybe take it easy on me, pity me, but I should've known better. It didn't take long before Roman drove himself back into me, my walls clenching around him as I cried out, hearing him let out a satisfied moan against my ear which had me shivering.  "What was that?" he hummed, his grip around my waist tightening, almost as a warning. An ominous laugh escaped him, the green of his eyes practically engulfing me as he spoke; "Oh, baby, look at you... Are you crying? You asked for it, you know that, right?"
I could only whimper, a wave of oddly satisfactory defeat washing over me. Something about the way he was taunting me was making my stomach flutter. It felt as though I was completely submerged in everything Roman--  the dizzying scent of his cologne that I inhaled through my nose, his lips against my mouth and throat every so often, and his tongue against mine. It eventually became hard to breathe, and my eyes glossed over once more as Roman's thrusts grew rougher, taking more liberties than he would usually dare to. 
"Try that again," he said, urging me on. It was obvious that Roman knew what I was trying to say, but he was being particularly mean today.
"I can't--" My words came out along with another cry, gripping onto him the same way he was gripping onto me. It felt as though today's session served as a reminder more than anything else; that I was his, no matter what, and that he would do as he pleased with me. Roman's rough thrusts grounded me, wordlessly telling me I belonged to him, and it made me feel as though he was diminishing my self-worth with every pump of his cock. It was starting to feel too rough, too raw; "Shit, wait, Rome--" I barely managed to get anything out without a stutter, burying my face against the bare skin of his broad shoulders.
Roman let out a laugh; "Aw, is someone getting sore?" 
I could only whimper as he dug himself into me repeatedly, my whole body aching, my hips squirming away from him again-- Roman responded by grabbing me rather harshly, holding me down. I knew he wasn't going to let me go without a proper fight, without me saying the word, and that made more tears pool in my eyes.
"A-Aah--" My hands flew down to grab the ones he had on my waist, arching my back against the bed as my body started to reject his thrusts. I felt myself squirm, groaning in a mix of pleasure and pain-- I knew that I had to go for my last resort, despite never having had use for it before. "Red!" I cried out, my nails digging into his skin, a sob building in my chest.
In an instant, Roman froze up, his grip around my body lifting within a second. He propped himself up on his elbows as his widening eyes met mine-- it seemed he had only now registered what he was truly doing to me. "Sorry," he tried, reaching for my face with wary movements, shifting on the bed. "Too much?"
Sniffling, a single tear rolled down my face as I nodded, leaving behind a wet spot on my pillow.
"Fuck, look at you," Roman whispered, gently grabbing at my jaw, hoping to ground me. "Your heart is beating so fast... Should I pull out?"
I let out a shaky breath, holding back any other tears. I had never actually had to use the safeword before, and this whole experience was beyond dizzying. How could Roman go from being someone so mean, callous, rough, and then suddenly go back to normal?
"Hey, talk to me," Roman's thumb stroked my cheek, another attempt at bringing me back. "What can I do for you?" 
Amid my daze, I was made aware of his cock still being inside me when it jerked upwards, throbbing involuntarily against my fluttering walls. Roman hissed, clearly conflicted between the feeling of pleasure and embarrassment; "Shit, sorry... It has a life of its own," 
Something about that made me giggle through my tears, a breathy laugh building in my chest. Seeing Roman like this, clearly out of his rough and mean state, made me ease up. The feeling of arousal was still coursing through my veins, burning in the tips of my fingers, aching between my legs-- I wasn't quite ready to stop. "If you promise to be gentle... I'd like to continue,"
With a relieved sigh, Roman leaned forward to press a sweet kiss against my forehead. "Of course," he whispered, nudging his nose against mine, his breath hot against my lips. "Let me make it up to you, hm?"
"Sounds good," I breathed, meeting his lips in a soft and open kiss, coming together like missing pieces of a puzzle, completely different from the way we had been kissing a minute ago. This felt so much better-- we were connected as one.
Roman pulled out of me, making sure to be careful. He grabbed my tear-stained pillow, placing it beneath my hips as he sat himself up on his knees. "I'll go easy on you, kid," he murmured, his thumb moving down to my clit, gathering my slick so that he could rub small, tight circles around it. "Gonna make you feel real good, okay?"
I let out a soft moan, my chest fluttering with warmth at his gentle touches. My eyes rounded out, meeting his with a newfound satisfaction and love. 
Roman gripped himself with his free hand, rubbing his tip against my aching sex, a grunt slipping past his kiss-swollen lips as he slid back into me, the wet sound of our reunion making goosebumps appear along my skin. This time, he made sure not to go all the way into me, finally giving me time to adjust to his length. 
Roman's thumb was still circling my clit with a toe-curling pressure as he found a nice, steady rhythm to keep at. From this position, I could watch as his usually styled hair fell in front of his green eyes, kissing his forehead as his lips parted in pleasure-- it was impossible to take my eyes off of him. 
Roman's gaze was glued to the image before him, letting out a shaky groan as his fingers went up and down my stomach, taking in the view. During moments like these, I really felt like the most beautiful creature on earth; what other explanation could there be for how he was looking at me right now? 
It didn't take long before I started to feel close-- we had been going on for so long that the softness of his demeanour had me closer to my climax much quicker than usual. Luckily, Roman knew me well enough to see the signs, recognizing the way my back arched, the way my hands reached for his. He intertwined our fingers with his free hand; "I have half the mind to keep you on the edge," he purred, a smirk reappearing on his lips.
I let out a broken whimper; "Please,"
"Please what?"
"Be nice," 
Roman chuckled, nodding to himself as he retreated his teases. He let go of my fingers to grab my hips, letting out a groan as my walls tightened around him; "Shit-- Okay, okay,"
Oh, I was so crazy about him. So, so in awe of Roman and everything that followed. Love-drunk words slipped past his lips as his thrusts pressed up against that special spot inside me, simultaneously keeping the tight pressure around my swollen clit, making me mewl out in desperation; "Close, fuck!--"
Roman let out a soft laugh as my fingers gripped his arm, digging into his skin as I clamped around him, wordlessly begging for my release. My heart pounded in my ears as he gave a few final thrusts, fucking me right into my orgasm; I writhed beneath him, a moaning mess, feeling satiated and complete. I bucked up against his hand, the post-coital overstimulation hitting me like a hard wave, letting out a few broken whimpers and silent pleas. 
It didn't take a lot of begging for Roman's cock to twitch with his orgasm, and he pulled out with haste, letting out a string of soft grunts as ropes of cum decorated my stomach. 
As our heavy breathing and panting filled the room, I reached out for Roman, who in turn lied down next to me, pressing a kiss against my cheek. I let out a relieved giggle, turning to connect our lips in a lazy, sweet kiss that had my whole body fluttering with warmth. Watching as Roman closed his eyes, sighing in exhaustion, my attention turned to the mess he had made on my stomach. 
My hand dipped down into the pool of cum forming on my lower abdomen, coaxing my finger with a sly smirk; I brought it up to his lips, leaving a streak of the slick on his lip.
Normally, Roman would wipe it off with a grimace and eventually laugh it off. 
However, today was different-- I had known it from the start. Roman leaned forward with a cheeky smirk, lazily connecting our lips, the taste of his cum lingering on my tongue throughout the remainder of the night.
I was sure he'd never admit to finding that hot, but I knew it. I was more sure of that than anything else.
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writtenbymoonflower · 8 months
Note
Hey! I love your writing! I swear I feel like I’ve read Avery thing because it is so good🫶 I absolutely love the way you write the boys and their personalities, truly my favourite!
I was also wondering if I could request a fic? Feel free to ignore. But can I request a poly! Marauders comfort fic kind of based on my day rn😭today I had to get glasses after sooo many years of not needing them. And I bough a pair but hate the way I look in them. Came straight home and cried about it, which turned to not feeling good enough in general.
Hi sweetheart! thank you for requesting! i'm so sorry that happened, i hate my glasses too. i hope you are feeling better, you're absolutely gorgeous and glasses can't change that. gn!reader x poly!marauders
cw: insecurity, swearing
1k words
You were staring into the mirror, switching between taking your new glasses off and putting them back on. When you took them off, your head began throbbing and your vision blurred. When they were back on you winced painfully at your appearance in the mirror. A mix of insecurity over the way the frames looked, and the new clarity you had in seeing your face. It was like putting the glasses on had opened a Pandora’s Box of insecurity. Now, no matter if they were on or off, you couldn’t stop picking apart your face. 
You set the glasses on the counter, scrubbing your watery eyes with the heel of your hand and wishing you never had to see yourself again. Remus found you in the bathroom, face pinched painfully and sniffling as you covered your eyes. 
“Dovey,” He said, fear creeping into his tone. “What’s happened, huh?” He shuffled over to your side, spinning you around to face him. His large hands were braced on your shaking shoulders as you hid your face in your hands and whined in a way that made his heart clench. He went to pull your wrists away from your face, which was when you spoke up.
“No, no.” You held fast, keeping your hands firmly in place. 
“Are you hurt? Why won’t you let me see you?” This whole situation was clearly making your usually calm boyfriend's head spin. He was at a loss, not wanting to become aggressive and scare you more, but also needing to get to the bottom of whatever was happening. He settled on tucking you into his chest and cradling the back of your head as you cried. You sniffled sadly into his knit sweater as two sets of feet padded across the carpet, stopping in the doorway of the bathroom. 
“Fuck,” Sirius said. Remus would’ve scolded him, if it hadn’t required him to pull away from you. “What’s going on?” He placed a hand in the middle of your back, eyes roving over you for a source of pain. James was equally distraught, but he handled this kind of thing best. He had a way of pulling guarded information out of people. 
“Baby, what’s got you crying so hard?” You lifted your face from Remus’ chest, still looking down to shield yourself. Remus tried to tilt your chin up, but you were being unusually stubborn. 
“Let me look at you.” Remus said, knocking his knuckles under your chin. You just shook your head. James turned you so all three of the boys were in front of you and tried to make you look up again, but you held fast and James was too scared of hurting you.
“Why won’t you let us see you, sweetheart?” James probed. Something in his gentle tone just broke you further, making you want to spill your guts. You relaxed enough for James to make you look up, red-rimmed eyes and glossy features making him want to cry as well. 
“Baby,” Sirius gasped. You breathed as deep as you could, trying not to cry worse as Remus used his sleeve to wipe at your wet cheeks. You were doing okay, until a wave of pain ripped through your head, making you grab your temples and whine. James cooed, familiar with the feeling and reached for your glasses. 
“No, I don’t want them.” You choked, miserably. 
“You’ve gotta wear them, lovely. Or your headache is jus’ gonna get worse.” He smoothed your hair away from your face, but you still wouldn’t let him put them on you. 
“Why don’t you wanna wear your glasses, baby?” Sirius questioned. 
“I hate them, they make me look so ugly. Like a fly or something.” You cringed wetly. Remus inhaled sharply, grabbing you to hold you again. 
“Is that what's made you so sad?” He whispered, kissing the top of your head as you nodded against his chest. James pouted, wanting to cry. 
“Wait,” Sirius cut in, sounding incredulous. “Is that why you wouldn’t let us look at you too?” James looked shell shocked and Remus’ face was pinched. You nodded again. 
“Sweetheart,” James pulled you from Remus’ grasp to have you look at them. He held your face, looking at you with too much love as we wiped your cheeks again. You were still wincing, uncomfortable from all the attention. Sirius turned your face to see him. 
“You’re breakin’ our hearts, sweet thing.” He smiled sadly at you. “Can’t believe you would think that.” He stroked your jaw with his thumb, pity covering his features. James let you go so that Sirius could have his turn loving on you. He held your gaze, letting his fingers roam over your features. “My baby, you’re so pretty. So, so fucking pretty. There’s nothing you could do to make us think otherwise. No reason to ever have to hide yourself from us.” He glanced over to Remus, wordlessly asking for the glasses. You tried to shrink away, but you were stopped by his hold on you. 
“You’re gonna hate them.” You warned, giving up on winning this battle. Remus scoffed. 
“You really think some glasses are gonna stop you from being gorgeous?” He asked like you were being silly. “Do you think that James is ugly? Do you think that we think James is ugly?” He looked at you accusatory. 
“No! Of course not!” You looked at James, floundering to make sure he wasn’t hurt. He just smiled at you reassuringly, placing a hand on your shoulder to placate you. 
“See, if you can love me with mine, then hopefully you can see that we love you with yours.” James rubbed your back as Sirius slid the frames onto your face, leaning forward to kiss your nose. 
“See? Absolutely gorgeous.” The pale boy praised. James turned you to face him, eyes swelling with fondness as he grabbed your face in his hands. 
“Holy shit!” He exclaimed. “I love them!” They had all known that you were getting glasses, but they hadn't seen them yet. You shied under his love. “You look so fucking precious.” He cooed, turning your face to let Remus see. “What do you think, Moons?” He leaned down to kiss your cheek. 
“Perfect.” Remus smiled softly, making your own spread across your face. 
Maybe they weren’t so bad.
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crownremonique · 2 months
Text
Escape Call
Pairing: Tim Bradford x Waitress!reader
Fandom: The Rookie
Summary: When a man asks you for help while working, you decide to make a call that might just end up changing your life.
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The restaurant was fairly quiet as you neared the end of your shift. It had been a long one, draining you to your core, but anything that waited for you back home wasn't the definition of relaxing in any way. Your tiring days of dealing with snobby customers usually ended in studying for the many mock exams of med school.
The small bell hanging atop the entrance rang, signaling the arrival of a new set of customers, which you hoped would be the last for the day. It was the man who caught your attention first, dressed impeccably in a suit and tie. He had an expression on his face that you couldn't quite place, but it definitely wasn't happiness. A woman entered behind him and followed him to the table he was seating himself at. Unlike the man, she seemed to be quite happy about being at the restaurant.
Convincing yourself that this would be the last table you would wait for, you walked over to them with a pair of menus and greeted the pair with a warm smile.
“Hey guys, what can I get started for you today?”
“I'll just have a water, thanks.” The man said while flipping his menu closed, never bothering to read any of the items on it.
“Are you sure honey? You're not gonna order anything else?” Not giving him a chance to respond, she continued speaking “Well, I'm gonna get something low carb, maybe something like a salad? Gotta watch my weight, y’know..” She trailed off, eyeing you top to bottom.
You felt appalled by her snide comment, but chose not to offer her anything but a tight lipped smile. You left the table to give the cook her order and started working on his glass of water, silently observing the pair sitting across.
The woman was talking expressively while the man just seemed bored. He looked tired, resting his chin on his palm, barely looking at the rambling woman.
You heard a ding from the kitchen, and placed their orders on a plate, walking over to them. You noticed the man writing something on a tissue and folding it up. You were just about to turn around after serving them when you heard a high pitched cry.
“What is this? There's peanuts in this! I can't eat this! I'm allergic” She yelled at you, eyes wide like you had purposely tried to poison her.
“Ma'am I am so incredibly sorry, I didn't know you were allergic-” You couldn't finish your sentence, interrupted by her bowl of salad smashing the ground. You dropped down quickly to collect the shattered porcelain, glancing at the man. He looked horrified, sending an apologetic glance towards you.
After cleaning up and getting the karen a new salad, you hung out by the counter, trying to subtly observe the pair. You saw the man get up from his seat, saying something about using the men’s room, and walk over towards you. He handed you the folded tissue paper discreetly and walked past you to the restroom. You unravelled the note and saw a phone number:
Save me, Please.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
You watched as he walked back to the table and sat down. You knew exactly what he wanted you to do, He needed an escape call. You fished your phone out of your pockets and dialed the number, watching his phone vibrate on the table. He picked it up, and you waited silently on the other line.
“Hello? Yes this is him…. Mhm……What? Oh my god, I’ll be right there!”
He got up hastily, collecting his wallet and dropping a few bills down to cover the tab, and quickly apologised to the woman before rushing out of the restaurant.
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You finished clearing the last of the tables and got your bag to head home. Today had been an eventful day, and the stranger you had seen for no more than an hour, was running on your mind since he left. You bid farewell to the cook and the guy at the register and stepped out into the cool night.
You felt a chill run down your spine, though you weren't sure if it was from the cold or because of the figure leaning against the alley in the dark. You took a step back but heard a familiar voice that made you stop.
“I was wondering when you would be off your shift.” The man spoke, coming into view.
“Escape call.” You said, letting him know that you recognised him.
“Yeah…I was desperate. Never going on a second date with her again.” He concluded.
“Second date? I thought she was your girlfriend. Heard her call you honey so i assumed..” You said as you started to walk alongside him.
“Oh no, just a blind date my colleagues set me up with. I'm Tim by the way. Could I get the name of my rescuer?” He held out his hand, looking at you expectantly. You offered him your name and shook his hand, relishing the softness of his palm.
He repeated your name wistfully, as if it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. You felt your cheeks redden, even if it was only your name he had said. You could only wish your house was farther away.
You both walked the entire way to your house, conversation flowing easily between you two. You learned that he was a cop, which made sense for no apparent reason. His personality was strong and graceful, drawing you in closer than you ever imagined was possible. You could have talked to him forever if you could, but all good things had to come to an end, just like your walk.
You eventually reached your doorstep and slid your key into the keyhole, careful not to wake up your roommate. you pushed open the door, turning back to face Tim. His eyes refused to leave yours, twinkling with a feeling that you could only describe as longing. Your mouth felt dry as you waited for him to say something. He placed his hand on the door, keeping it open.
“Is there anything I can do to repay you? for being my saviour today?” He asked, eyes darting between your eyes and lips.
You felt a smile spread across your face. Maybe you wouldn't have to say goodbye after all.
✨️
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bratphilia · 11 months
Text
teacher (m. schmidt x reader)
request: "Can you plz plz write a smut where Mike takes readers virginity and they are kind of innocent"
note: sorry if this was a lil shorter than you were hoping. i left some breathing room at the end for a potential second part
pairing: mike schmidt x reader
tags: fingering, missionary, virgin!reader, soft dom!mike
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"this is your clit," mike says, pressing on the sensitive area.
your hips jolt. "o-okay," you whine, struggling in his grasp.
abby is at vanessa's house to be babysat so you and mike are left alone at his place. mike has you resting half way on top of him with one hand on your leg to remind you to keep them spread for him. you decided that today's the day you want to go all the way with him, much to his concern to your change of heart. however, you managed to convince him that you were ready. 
the truth is, mike's been wanting this for awhile. he just finds your innocence so cute! the way you're a bit of a prude, blushing and shying away from anything related to sex. he finds it adorable. he finds youadorable.
he slowly moves the finger resting on your clit down south until it prods at your hole. he kisses your forehead and then your cheek as if to prepare you for what comes next. 
"ooh," you exhale shakily. it's an admittedly discomforting stretch, but thankfully he eases you into it gently. he's such a caring boyfriend. 
once the finger is inside, he curls it, earning a sharp "ah!" from you. 
"...and this is your g-spot."
"th-that feels nice, mikey," you say, reaching a hand to grasp his t-shirt while he curls and uncurls his finger. 
"yeah?" he mumbles, slightly mocking your voice. 
mike pumps his finger a little faster and reaches another hand to rub slow circles around your clit. you grasp onto his arm and whimper. 
"m-mike — mike! — i feel weird..." you cry.
instead of slowing down, he actually goes a little faster. your slick provides for a perfect lube to do so. "shh, it's okay. just let it go, okay?"
he presses the hand rubbing on your clit on your tummy, gently pressing down. the heat in your stomach grows until you feel some sort of release and a pulsing in your pussy. you moan loudly when he kisses you. 
you feel yourself dripping onto his finger and your face burns. "'m sorry." 
he gives you a lopsided grin. "what are you sorry for?"
you shake your head and he begins to unbuckle his belt and discard his pants and boxers. you tug on his shirt for him to take it off and he does so, pecking your lips before and after. 
"still good to continue?" he checks. god, he's so good to you. 
you nod and he slides on top of you. his dick prods at your entrance. "i'm going to go slow, okay? it's gonna hurt at first but that's just you adjusting."
"and we can stop at anytime, right?" you ask.
"of course."
he pushes in slow as he promised. you let out a flurry of 'ah's as the burning sensation of your walls stretching hits you overwhelmingly. fuck, you're so tight. he was expecting you to be — you were tight when he put his finger in — but he doesn't feel confident he can really move inside of you that much. 
he's buried about halfway inside and waits for your call to move. "you're — ugh — so fucking tight," he can't help but comment.
"is — is that a good thing?" you wonder out loud.
"very," he says with a pained chuckle. 
you take a deep breath after a few moments. "'m ready." 
mike begins to thrust slowly and cautiously. his cock drags against your walls pleasurably enough for the both of you. the noises your making, squeals, whines, and cries, makes him want to go faster and illicit more, but being careful with you is far more important than his primal needs.
he recalls your reactions to the way he talked to you, so he leans down to whisper in your ear. "you like that, baby? like feeling me inside you?"
"yes," you moan. 
his shallow thrusts are still enough to make the cheap bed creak and rock. "fuckin' god, babe, you feel so good wrapped around me."
"baby," you cry. "can you go a little faster? i can — ah! — take it." 
"yeah? does my baby want it faster?" he mocks you as he picks up the pace ever so slightly.
"mikey!" you cry from the stimulation.
"gettin' close, baby?" he asks.
"mmm! i think so..."
like before when you were close — and he can tell you are by the way you're spasming around him — he brings his hand to your clit and rubs from side to side. you grip desperately onto him as you feel the same way you did before: the tension in your stomach growing like a dam about to break loose. 
"ah! ah!" you moan and spill over the edge. 
mike holds off from coming himself, for now and pulls out. this was about you, not him. besides, he'll teach you how to use his mouth on him some other time anyway.
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autumn-hiraeth · 1 year
Note
i wanna request! angry sex hobie :)
reader and hobie got a pretty big fight and well yeah... angry sex. with a shit load of dirty talking during fucking
i loved the idea but I feel dirty.. SO i hope you like it, anon!
SH!TSHOW!
🔞 NO MINORS PLS. NSFW.
Hobie brown x reader
Headcanons. Smut & angst.
a/n: holy water pls. Look I know this is NOT OUR HOBIE, OK?, I KNOW THAT. But I couldn't help writing this. I'm sorry. Tumblr, 'm so cynic but pls don't flag this.
You can find more here “ Hobie's masterlist”
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You're a shit show
And I'm in the front row
You think Hobie has broken another of his promises and forgot about today's plans.
Honestly, You're tired 'cause Hobie keeps canceling plans and it feels so normal it hurt, but you're also upset, who does he think he is? treating you like you're one of his bitches that always seems to want to please him after a show.
All those thoughts consume you and without a second thought you are flirting with a handsome stranger, you don't care what he says, you just want to forget your “stupid boyfriend” for one night.
What you don't expect is for your stupid boyfriend to come to the club and almost kill the man who has his hands on your body.
And that's the cherry on the cake. As soon as Hobie takes you to your flat all hell breaks loose, he looks at you like you've lost your mind and you finally complain about his abandonment. " it's your fault! If you had arrived on time this would not have happened Hobart” “You always cancel our plans!” "You don't even call me on the phone when you disappear." "I pretend to believe all your lies, but I'm not going to waste my time with a half man."
Hobie knows he should apologize,tell you how ashamed he is to leave you alone most of the time but he has to do it, he loves you, but he's upset, upset 'cause he can't tell you the truth and he's not thinking, clearly he's not thinking when he says; “none of that is an excuse to act like a slut Y/n” You're not going to give him the pleasure of seeing you cry, no, instead of that you push him trying to hit his stupid pretty face 'cause you've had enough, but Hobie holds you in his arms.
Your back hits the wall hard and now you're pinned down by him as you try to wriggle out of his grip. But Hobie does something that paralyzes you, he's kissing you, his tongue tries to slip into your mouth, and you know you should push him away, have some dignity, but instead you bite his lip making him gasp, looking at you in surprise and then you press your lips against his. It's not a normal kiss, it's a wild kiss ; Hobie finally slides his tongue onto your tongue and your tongue tastes the blood on his lip making him moan.
Hobie is hard, as hard as ever before, so in the middle of the kiss he thrusts his hips hard into yours, his bulge hitting your clothed pussy making you moan. And even though you two have stopped yelling at each other, you and Hobie still upset, so there's no foreplay, no whispers saying "i love you", it's just you and hobie having angry sex against the wall.
Hobie rips your panties making you gasp, his strength has always surprised you, his mouth is biting into your neck, marking you, but you can see him unbuttoning his pants, removing his pants and boxers before making you wrap your legs around his waist. You moan loudly when you feel his hard length, his fat tip is on your swollen clit and you don't even have to ask to be fucked because Hobie is already guiding his thick cock against your entrance.
You let out a pornographic moan as Hobie slides his hard dick into your pussy and he hisses as your walls almost swallow him. When he is finally inside you, Hobie looks at you and without wasting time he's thrusting into you, hard and fast. Your head hits the wall every time Hobie hits deep inside you, his tip kissing your cervix with every thrust. “H—hobie!” you finally give him the pleasure of hearing you moan his name.
“That's Y/N, say my name” “let all your fucking neighbors know you're a fucking slut for my cock” “fuck, you're taking me so well” “know you couldn't live without this cock, Y/N” “ you're so fucking tight” “that man can never have this pussy” “I'm the only one who can fuck you like this, fucking slut” Your eyes roll back, every time he whispers to you, you dig your nails into his shoulder making him gasp. You don't even care how humiliatingly you moan every time he talks dirty to you or rotates his hips to touch that soft spot inside you.
Yet despite all the pleasure Hobie is giving you, you still want to piss him off by making him pay for all, even for having you impaled to his dick against the wall. 'cause you deserve the bed. “ I''m not your slut, Hobart” “You're an asshole” “ a fucking dick” “I hate you” “ I f-fucking hate you” However, all your insults stop when Hobie reaches for your swollen clit and rubs it hard and fast making you moan his name like a prayer.
"Aren't ya my slut? So why are you so aroused from cumming on my cock? ““ 'm gonna fill you up Y/N” “That's right, milk my cock so well” “''m gonna leave you dripping” “ I know how much ya love it” “ wanna my cum?” It's all too much that soon you're cumming and he's filling you up, painting your walls like he promised. And as soon as you two get down from your high, Hobie finally looks at you and when he calls you "luv", your tears are already falling on your pretty face.
And Hobie tries to calm you down, still inside you, you hide your face into the crook of his abused neck as he carries you to bed and finally whispers his apologies and how much he loves you as he cares for your abused body.
“ 'm sorry luv, you're right” “ i'll be a better boyfriend” “ we can fix this” “ don't cry my sweetheart” “ I love ya” But you're not crying because of how he treated you, you can handle that, in fact, you're crying because you know it's over. you can't do this anymore.
I'm leaving your shit show
No longer sitting front row
I bet now you're wishing
You treated me different
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tinycoffeeroom · 4 months
Text
podcast crush | arthur hill
face claim: steph bohrer ♡
request: here !
requested: Hey just wondering if you could maybe write something like either Arthur’s girlfriend or crush goes on the podcast and it’s just like cute fluff or Arthur’s girlfriend supporting him at Leeds festival and like calming him down hahah no worries if not x
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👤 max_balegde liked by max_baledge, arthurnfhill and 79,038 others
y/nstagram on a date, do you think he's nervous?
andrew_spanndy rue, when was this ↳ y/nstagram andrew, baby, you weren't supposed to find out like this... ↳ max_balegde can you blame me? look at her xx ↳ andrew_spanndy i'm just mad i wasn't invited 😞 ↳ y/nstagram next time it's just you and me babygirl 💗 ♥️ andrew_spanndy
arthurnfhill i would do the same thing ↳ y/nstagram awww you flatter me xx ↳ fan my parents who don't know they're my parents and aren't together but should be
fan y/n is so gorgeous please i am on my KNEES
fan not arthur flirting in her comments AGAIN can y'all just kiss or smth
arthurtv what did you say to make him do that? 😭 ↳ y/nstagram wdym i just looked hot and it happened ↳ arthurtv humble as always y/n ↳ y/nstagram ok mr "posts topless selfies to distract from his lack of rizz" ↳ fan gagged a lil ↳ arthurtv :((((((( ↳ y/nstagram i'm sorry pooks, you know ily xx
georgeclarkeey so... getting you on the pod when? ↳ y/nstagram you couldn't afford my fee x ↳ max_balegde your fees a redbull and a blue razz vape ↳ y/nstagram unprovoked??? ↳ max_balegde THE LAST PICTURE SAYS OTHERWISE???
mummysboypod we could afford your fee y/n (heart) ↳ y/nstagram i'd do it for free for lisa xx ↳ lisahull_hill y/n my lovely girl ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram absolutely adore you ❤️ ↳ arthurnfhill can't believe my mum loves y/n more than me ↳ fan 🤨 ↳ arthurnfhill more than she loves me* oops ↳ fan ur not slick arthur.
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👤 arthurnfhill liked by mummysboypod, arthurnfhill and 80,829 others
y/nstagram charitably graced his podcast and he thanks me by mocking my poses 🙄
fan EP OUT WHEN??? ↳ y/nstagram mummysboypod? ↳ mummysboypod next week! :)
fan WHERE IS LISA???? ↳ y/nstagram the lisa pics are for me and me only ↳ lisahull_hill silly girl, we all know the real reason why i'm not on here! ↳ fan LISA SPILL PLEASE ↳ lisahull_hill you'll have to wait for next weeks podcast! :P
arthurnfhill maybe i just thought it was a snazzy pose ↳ y/nstagram hmm ofc you did 🙄 ↳ arthurnfhill full of attitude today aren't you 🤨 ↳ y/nstagram who me? 😇
fan MUMMYS BOY POD WITH Y/N I DREAMED OF DAYS LIKE THIS
fan i need y/n biblically ♥️ arthurnfhill ↳ fan like i said before ur not slick arthurnfhill
bachandarthur us next? 🥺 ↳ y/nstagram anything for my pookies 🫶 ↳ arthurtv don't bother
MUMMYS BOY PODCAST WITH Y/N L/N TRANSCRIPT EXCERPT
LISA: So, my sweet Y/N, how have you been? Y/N: I've been good! My youtube and tiktok have been taking off so it's been a bit hectic! LISA: Oh yes, I forgot you did the tikkytokky thing like Arthur. [ARTHUR AND Y/N LAUGH AT LISA SOFTLY] Y/N: Yes, I do the tikkytokky thing. It took a while to find my niche but I think I've finally found my place on there. LISA: I asked Arthur to help me set up an account so I could follow you. I love seeing your, oh, what are they called, Arthur? ARTHUR: Get ready with me's? LISA: Yes, that. You're always so happy, it makes me want to just... [LISA REACHES ACROSS TO PINCH Y/N'S CHEEK] ARTHUR: Mum, please unhand our guest. LISA: [LAUGHS] Y/N doesn't mind, do you sweetie? Y/N: Of course not! If it was Arthur on the other hand... ARTHUR: Ah yes, it's bully Arthur hour again. [LISA AND Y/N LAUGH] Y/N: What else are we supposed to do?
--
LISA: Oh, sweetie, before I forget, I still have the book you leant me last week! Y/N: The Song of Achilles? How did you find it? ARTHUR: I got a phone call of her crying her eyes out, you wicked woman. I thought something bad had happened! Y/N: Something bad did happen! They kept Achilles and Patroclus apart for so long... LISA: Oh, don't! You'll set me off again! I'm too scared to ask you for another recommendation! Y/N: [LAUGHS] I promise the next one won't be so sad! I just finished Romancing Mr Bridgerton which I think you'll really like! You've read the first Bridgerton book, haven't you? LISA: Oh yes, I loved it! Which sibling is the one you just finished? Y/N: It's Colin and Penelope! LISA: Their season is coming out soon, isn't it? Are you still coming round to watch it? Y/N: Where else would I be?! I've already planned the drinks and snacks for our Bridgerton marathon! ARTHUR: Can we not recommend regency porn to my mother in front of me? Y/N: And how do you know it's regency porn, Mr Hill? You told me you hadn't watched it. LISA: He wanted to know more about it since he knows you love it so much. ARTHUR: Mum! [LISA AND Y/N LAUGH AS ARTHUR LOOKS SCANDALISED] LISA: Oh, sorry, was I not supposed to say that? Y/N: How sweet of you Arthur, maybe you should come watch the new season with me and Lisa? ARTHUR: I refuse to watch the carriage scene in the company of my mother. [Y/N SQUEALS WHILST LISA BATS HER ARM] Y/N: So you've read the books? [SILENCE] ARTHUR: Ok, maybe I did...
--
LISA: You know, Y/N, you're such a lovely girl. Beautiful face, amazing personality and limitless prospects, how are you still single? Surely the guys must be beating down your door. Y/N: Thank you for that stellar review Lisa [LAUGHS]. Honestly, I'm quite happy with what I have at the moment! My careers taking off, I'm doing things I could only dream of and visiting places that are all over my pinterest boards. i'm not exactly looking for a relationship, but if one came along I wouldn't be opposed to seeing where things go! ARTHUR: Mum - LISA: [SHUSHES ARTHUR] so if you were looking for someone, what do you look for? Y/N: Why? Do you have someone in mind for me? [LAUGHS] [LISA SHRUGS] Y/N: Well I guess, if I had to choose, I'd love someone family oriented. I love my family more than anything on this earth so it would be nice to find someone who has the same ideals as me. Someone kind, of course, warm and funny. Someone with hobbies and passions we share but also separate ones so we can have our independence. The appearance really doesn't matter to me, I'm more someone who leans into personality. But, I mean, if they were smoking hot, it wouldn't hurt! [LAUGHS] LISA: And your hobbies are...? Y/N: Why do I feel like I'm on take me out or something? [LAUGHS] I like music and craft... Hiking is fun sometimes! I have to include reading as well!. [LAUGHS] I also like visiting museums and art galleries. And, of course, makeup! LISA: Arthur likes art galleries too, he took me to the Tate Modern the other week to show me the new exhibit! Y/N: [SHOCKED EXPRESSION] without me? Arthur, how could you? ARTHUR: Oh, so now I can speak? Also, you said you were busy! LISA: You also like hiking, don't you Arthur? I remember all the selfies you sent me when you were in LA. ARTHUR: I do... where is this going, Mum? Y/N: Yeah, where is this going Lisa? [LAUGHS] LISA: [SHRUGS] Nowhere, was just making some observations.
--
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liked by lisahull_hill, arthurnfhill and 89,028 others
y/nstagram bridgerton s3 pt 1 watch party with MOTHER ❤️ (lisa makes the best snack tables, i'm moving in immediately)
lisahull_hill there's always a bedroom here for you sweet y/nnie ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram lisa i'll cry right now, i love you 🥹
arthurnfhill that was the most awkward 4 episodes of my life ↳ y/nstagram i am so sorry (not) for laughing at your expression in ep 4 ↳ fan Y/N HOW DID HE REACT TO THE CARRIAGE SCENE ↳ y/nstagram he got up and walked out the room, we had to stop the show we were Howling ↳ arthurnfhill i will never forgive you for this ↳ lisahull_hill it's just a bit of sex arthur, grow up 😆
fan lisa loves her daughter (in law) ♥️ lisahull_hill, y/nstagram ↳ fan ur delusional (i believe you) ↳ fan real! ↳ fan i love her daughter (in law) too
fan y/n i NEED to know where that corset is from!!!! ↳ y/nstagram i got it from amazon, one sec i'll dm you the link 💓 ↳ fan everyone's favourite girl's girl
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👤 lisahull_hill liked by y/nstagram, lisahull_hill and 139,028 others
arthurnfhill absolutely no reason why i'm uploading this specific set of pics :)
arthurtv bro is smoking hot
georgeclarkeey absolutely fuckin smoking babes
chrismd phwoar did it just get hot in here or is it me
italianbach who's this hottie over here? one could say he is smokin'
fan the gang hyping arthur up im SCREAMING
fan not him shooting his shot over ig... just message her my guy
fan museums ✅ family oriented ✅ music ✅ reading ✅ y/n please put him out of his misery
fan he wants y/n so bad but jokes on him so do we
fan y/nstagram please come get your man... ↳ fan y/nstagram ↳ fan y/nstagram ↳ fan y/nstagram ↳ fan y/nstagram ↳ fan y/nstagram please it's painful at this point ↳ fan y/nstagram
y/nstagram ??? wait you like me??? ↳ fan come the fuck on y/n he's fancied you for MONTHS ↳ y/nstagram ???!!!!!! i did not know????? ↳ arthurnfhill my mum has literally been trying to get us together for ages ↳ fan put him out of his misery PLEASE ↳ y/nstagram lisahull_hill ???!!!! elaborate lisa??? ↳ lisahull_hill oh he likes you a lot, i do too, that instagram user wasn't wrong when they said i love my daughter (in law)
y/nstagram come over right now. ↳ arthurnfhill 🫡🫡 ↳ fan WE WANT TO KNOW TOO???? Y/N SHARE WITH THE AUDIENCE????
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👤 arthurnfhill liked by arthurnfhill, lisahull_hill and 92,820 others
y/nstagram smoking hot ✅ funny ✅ family oriented ✅ likes music and crafts (he made the tshirt and mug) ✅ kind and warm ✅ perfect boyfriend material if you ask me
fan OHHHH HOW I PRAYED FOR DAYS LIKE THIS
georgeclarkeey idk about funny? ↳ y/nstagram ur just salty i took ur man ↳ georgeclarkeey he may be your boyfriend but it's MY bed he comes home to xx
arthurtv HE'S ONLY GONE AND DONE IT LADS!!!!! ♥️ arthurnfhill, y/nstagram
chrismd maybe now he'll shut the fuck up about how pretty you are ↳ arthurnfhill jokes on you i'm about to double down ↳ chrismd i need to move out so bad
arthurnfhill the penelope to my colin 💚 ↳ y/nstagram come back rn i need to kiss you
fan he's pulled off the heist of the century!!!! ♥️ arthurnfhill
fan my gf's not my gf anymore :(
lisahull_hill my sleuthing works wonders! ↳ y/nstagram love you lisa ❤️ ↳ lisahull_hill arthur was right, i do love you more than him ↳ arthurnfhill MUM??? (understandable)
186 notes · View notes
chaesparklez · 5 months
Text
금빛 노을 아래 한 고백 | gunwook x reader
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wc: 1.5k
reader: gender neutral
content: flashfic, fluff, some teasing, romance, school setting, kissing, fluttery feelings <3
a/n: this is my first time writing for gunwook! the title translates to ‘a confession under a golden sunset’. as my bias wrecker he has such a special place in my heart and i hope my writing captured him as beautifully as he is. also added the bibi song since i had it on repeat writing this and feel like it encapsulates the vibe of this scenario so well. enjoy!
warm sunlight streams through the blinds spilling onto the desks of the empty classroom, silent aside from the distant sounds of a few students shuffling through the corridors going home after their extracurriculars.
the classroom is bathed in a golden glow from the the waning sun. you stretch your hand out before you, waving your fingers and tilting your head to the side as you watch the silhouette of your hand dancing on the wall before you. you bring your hand closer to your eyes so the dark shadow draws nearer and nearer till it obliviates the wall in a mass of black...
"hey! what are you doing?"
you jump so hard you nearly scream. gunwook leans against the doorway with a cheshire cat grin plastered on his face.
"what the hell gunwook?? god, you startled me. my heart's beating so fast." you scowl.
"isn't that just because you like me?"
"what the fuck."
you and gunwook had a contentious relationship. in simple terms, he always annoyed the hell out of you. you don't even know when he popped into your life, but all of a sudden he was always around you, teasing you and pulling pranks acting like you'd known eachother for years. you weren't sure whether you found it funny or just annoying.
'where even were you? teacher kim put us both on cleaning duty today.'
"why are you so interested in me?" he replies, wiggling his eyebrows in mocking.
you roll your eyes. "whatever. i'm halfway done anyway," you sigh. taking the chalkboard eraser and beginning to wipe logarithms from the board with long swipes.
he clears his throat.
"hey... im sorry. i actually wanted to help this time." he says, scratching the back of his head and giving you a bashful look.
you snicker. "what the hell? why are you being nice to me? are you going to shove a fake cockroach down my shirt again?"
he'd already tried that one three times this week, the last time culminating in you chasing him down the hallway screaming and being caught by teacher kim- hence you both ending up on cleaning duty.
he begins to move closer.
"do not come closer, park gunwook. i swear to god, one more fake cockroach and you'll be on the floor crying."
"no, i-"
the classroom is suddenly filled with an eruption of screams and laughter. gunwook hadn't listened to you (as usual) continuing to grow nearer- so you'd clapped the erasers in his face creating a poof of chalkboard dust in the air.
"what was that for?" he coughs, tempting to wave away the billow of dust.
"it's what you get!" you jeer, happy to have caught him off guard for once.
you place the erasers back and begin to sweep. gunwook follows you with all the manner of a lost puppy, just awkwardly trailing next to you as you make your away around the room.
"gunwook, i literally can't see with your big head in the way."
"what do you mean big??"
"your shadow is so massive it's covering the floor and i can't see."
"don't make things up."
"i'm not! look at your shadow! you’re practically blocking the sun like a titan.”
"well.. don't you like tall guys?"
you pause at the sudden but earnest question. a pale pink blush was seeping across his cheeks, his eyes fixed on some other spot in the room. what was wrong with him today?
you sigh, too tired to ponder on it, and continue sweeping.
"what are you even saying.." you mumble in reply. 'just get out of my way.'
"okay, fine. is there at least a task for me to do?"
"go sharpen the pencils. at least make yourself useful if you're gonna bother me."
~~
"sung hanbin." he says from the other side of the room.
"what?" you swivel your head to where gunwook stands sharpening the pencils. his eyes hadn't left the floor, continuing his task calmly.
he stays silent so you draw nearer to him, puzzled. "what do you mean?" you ask again.
"you mentioned it to haneul the other day," he says quietly. 'that you like sung hanbin. that he's so kind, and dances so well, and he's so tall..."
you squint your eyes at him. did he listen to your conversations?
‘i'm tall too. my mom said by the time i turn 21 i'll be 190cm.’ he says, knuckles white as his hand grips the pencil sharpener. he pauses. ‘and im taller than sung hanbin.’
"what are you even saying?" you laugh. you place the broom aside and perch yourself on a desk. 'why are you suddenly mentioning him?'
"what's your ideal type?" he asks suddenly, voice cracking a little at the end of the sentence.
you snort and nearly blurt out a tart reply before noticing he's not teasing you. his blush had spread across his cheeks as he stared down at his hands bashfully. you blink, confused at this awkward vibe he's been channelling since earlier. you clear your throat attempting to think of an answer.
"well.. i mean, i don't have a fixed type. i guess it depends on the person. and i don't *like* sung hanbin," you say, attempting not to make a sarcastic remark. 'i just think he's handsome. like literally everyone else at school.'
"so you do like him?"
"oh my god, gunwook, i just said no. why does it even matter anyway? do *you* like me?" you say, exasperated.
his pupils waver as he stops sharpening the pencil for a second. he swallows.
"and what if i did?"
"i'd throw myself off the roof,” unable to hold in the sarcastic reply this time. what was he even getting at?
he places the tools down, his eyes finally breaking away from the pencil and gazing at yours.
"am i really that bad to you?" he asks, pupils wavering in his big brown eyes.
you're so caught off guard by his docility that you just blurt whatever comes to mind.
"i-i mean, i didn't mean it that way. you make me laugh, and you're smart, and you are tall like you said.. but you're always teasing me so i never thought of you that way.."
gunwook begins to take slow steps towards you, visage illuminated by the sunset.
"do you know why i always tease you?"
you blink, confused. "because you want a reaction?"
"because i want your attention. i want you to notice me, to look at me. i like your laugh, and your expression when i annoy you, and everything about you makes me want to carry on making you notice me. you’re always on my mind."
somewhere through his monologue your heart had started beating so hard you could almost see the pulsations through your white shirt. your pupils waver as you look at him.
"do you understand what im saying?" he asks.
"gunwook, i..." you say, voice coming out in a whisper.
"i like you."
your heart almost stops beating. now standing before you as you perched on the desk so you had to crane your neck up slightly to meet his shining eyes. he swallows as he gazes into your eyes, expression soft.
and in the golden glow of sunlight, you notice for the first time that he is beautiful. the sun illuminates his eyes the shade of honey, his jet black hair moving gently over his dark brows from the balmy wind breezing through the classrooms. and he really was so tall. tall, with wide shoulders and big hands that would give the warmest safest hugs…
he gently places a large hand on the small of your back, the distance between you even smaller now. the sound of a nearby wind-chime rings softly from the window as you look up into his eyes, your gaze travelling down to his lips.
and he kisses you. gently, sweetly, the rashness that you knew him for distant. his touch is delicate, the temperature of his warm hand on your back relaxing you into his embrace. his full lips are soft and warm against yours. he cups your face with his other hand, thumb brushing over your cheek. you lock your hands around his neck, melting into his touch.
his lips part and move in time with your own, allowing you to deepen the kiss. in that moment, your heart feels full and warm in his gentle embrace. both your hearts beat wildly as you slowly retract, hearing the quiet sound of each other's rugged breaths. your lips tingle with the lingering sensation of his lips on yours, your eyes remaining on his as you stare at his face inches from you.
his skin golden from the sunlight, rosy cheeks glowing, you suddenly feel the urge to touch his soft skin. you brush a finger along his smooth cheek, feeling the heat of his skin from the blush. he smiles as he looks into your eyes, and you notice something for the first time: a faint dimple on his right cheek. the very smile that you had always found so annoying, you had suddenly become fond of at the sight of it.
“i never noticed you had a dimple there before,” you whisper, caressing his cheek.
“look at me more from now on. i’ll smile lots for you,” he replies, taking your hand and leaving a gentle kiss on your knuckle.
the sound of the wind-chime harmonises with the laughter you share, dust particles floating and shimmering in the air under the golden sunset.
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