#i went to catholic school for 14 years

[dragon-spaghetti]

"Maybe if we hope enough, the universe will take pity" is sure a thing I just said in reference to clinging to catholic rituals as a familiar comfort despite not holding the beliefs

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

If you are a movie fan and haven't read the book yet, here are some irrelevant details from the book

Henry owns a cardigan

Arthur and Catherine meet on a Henry V play (which they named Henry after), which Catherine went to see and saw Arthur playing. She "shook off her security to disappear into London and dance all night".

Pez listens to kpop, and he got Alex into it

Nora watches drag race and got Henry into it

Henry is an Elton John fan (actually relevant in the book)

Alex is a Hall & Oates fan

Alex wears glasses (actually relevant in the book)

Henry is described by Alex as having lots of moles

Bea is the rockstar girlfriend, at the end of the book she plays on a concert and everything. She plays the guitar and is always wearing a leather jacket. She also has a fat cat called Mr Wobbles. And the queen wanted her to learn violin “since it was more proper” instead of guitar. “Bea was allowed to learn both, but she went to uni for classical violin.”

During the turkey phonecall, Henry is wearing a peely face mask

Amy is trans and has a pansexual wife

(Actually relevant) Catherine was not off in another country the whole story, just battling intense grief for her husband's death, so she wasn't present in her children's life, so they felt as if they lost both parents.

There's no king, she's actually a queen, her name is Mary and she should die (she's so so much worse on the book than the king is on the movie)

David is a service dog

(Actually relevant in the book) June bought a teen magazine at 15 and 13 year old Alex would sneak into her room to stare at the magazine (and the picture of a blonde 14 year old British prince on it).

Bea is the middle kid, Henry is the youngest

Henry is canonically on therapy and on antidepressants (since the start of the book)

I don't remember if they mentioned it on the movie but Arthur was James Bond and died of pancreatic cancer.

Alex’s favorite Olympic sport is rhythmic gymnastics

Bea had an addiction problem when Henry was about 17 (as a way to cope after their father's death) and only got herself into rehab after Henry went to her and started crying about dad was dead and he was gay and scared so she couldn't kill herself. That's how he came out to her

Alex doesn't wanna be president at the end of the book, he starts law school

Henry favourite star wars is Jedi, Alex's is Empire

June is allergic to peanuts

Alex runs and runs to cope and clear his head

He did not know he was bi until after Henry kissed him. Yes, he had a friend with benefits relationship with his high school friend Liam, but he genuinely thought it was perfectly platonic and straight

Also he doesn't keep on touch with Liam after high school (their friendship just slowly fades away, with living so far and Alex being suddenly famous) but they reconnect at the end

Alex and Henry move in together on a brownstone on Brooklyn, eventually they marry (after Henry abdicates) on the lake house, they move to a farmhouse on Austin, they spend their honeymoon unpacking

Pez is lactose intolerant

Bluebonnet is June’s code name, Barracuda is Alex’s

Henry is a big Austen fan, and makes references to her books through the story

Amy knits

Zahra has a sister who recently had a baby

June forced Alex into dresses as a kid

Henry’s favorite food is a cheap falafel stand ten minutes from the palace

Henry really likes sailing

Shaan has a motorbike

Alex is allergic to dust

Henry keeps a copy of Le Monde, the newspaper from the day they were in Paris, on his room

Alex and Nora dated when Alex was 17 and Nora 18 but realized they were definitely better off as friends. When they are bored, they like to create rumors about their relationship

Alex makes tons of lists to organize

Alex wears chinos, and claims kakhis are for white people

Nora is very good at math

Alex grew up catholic

At the end of their e-mails, Alex and Henry quoted historical lgbt love letters

Nora’s one-bedroom is “full of books and plants she tends to with complex spreadsheets of watering schedules.”

Nora is bisexual and on the aro spectrum (not canon on the book than she’s aro, but Casey did mention it somewhere)

Arthur gifted Henry a telescope for his seventh birthday

The karaoke scene happens not while on Texas but in some club full of queer people. The whole group is there, Pez got them matching kimonos. Alex’s says Hoe Dameron, Henry’s says Prince Buttercup. Aside from Henry singing Don’t Stop Me Now, Bea sings Call Me by Blondie, and Pez sings So Emotional by Whitney Houston in a “shockingly flawless falsetto”.

The lakehouse confessions happens while at night

The Kensington fight (after the lakehouse confession) is much more dramatic, they don’t go to the v&a that night, but the next night. That morning Henry got up early, and brought Alex coffee when he woke up. They made up.

Also Alex takes his coffee with cinnamon

Alex, Nora and Henry are gen z, while June is a millennial

[katz-chow]

Coming from puff puffs blog 🤧🤥 hope you don't mind 😝🙈🙉 ur also totally gaining a new follower..

WHAT ARE YOUR HEADCANONS ON SOAP? 🥰🥰🥰 unless you've already done this before then I am so sorry 😓

relationship with soap headcanons

warnings: sfw, fluff, some angst, relationship arguments, family trauma mentioned, religious trauma, homophobia, bad dad

a/n: my fav cod man is soap so this took my top priority!!! i think about this man a lot, 09 and reboot version. reboot is my fav though, realistically, he's who i would actually get with. here’s all the things i’ve thought about him, there’s probably more tbh… OK OK HERE :))

childhood hcs

johnny soap mactavish comes from a large family of 5 siblings, he's the second oldest. it's elsie, him, blair, callum, and olivia.

growing up in a family of mainly girls got him on that respect women juice. he would always have to make sure his younger siblings are ok and aren't you know, being bullied. his parents were adamant on 2 year age gaps between them all.

his cousin, jack, was an sas operator and that was what made him want to join. they had to call security forces to arrest him out at some point because he kept sneaking in to watch them do stuff lol

elsie left for uni with her bf to live in soho when johnny was 16, the same year he would talk to recruiters around his hometown, driving hours and then getting rejected the same day due to his age

9th grade (year 10) chemistry got him obsessed with stem and its *explosive* results. he aced chemistry and then took advanced chemistry and physics just because he loved it so much

after this, as soon as he turned 18, he went to sign his papers THEN graduated school (he's just like me fr). his mom was so worried for him, especially when her sister told her about the danger that jack would get himself into. in the end, he promised he'll always call her and his siblings

his dad's an ass, hes an alcoholic, a cheater, a *bitch*... he would always take the kids to church on sundays and twisted the religion into a reason for his behavior. claiming that johnny's mom being at home was just "their culture"

she makes a killer shepherd's pie though

always had had some sort of love-hate relationship with the catholic faith. on one hand, it was nice to know there's always at least someone watching out for him, but after hearing the constant belittlement from his father, claiming he wasn't "manly enough" for not willing to give his life up in the service, he started to resent the “all merciful”.

he ended up blaming god for all his faults, letting him take accountability. this especially happened when he got diagnosed with adhd when he was 17, his dad didn’t believe in mental health. his mom was only a bit better about it, they both refused meds for him.

he's bisexual, leans towards women though. found this out after a truth or dare game in junior year (year 12) and some beers in a closet

at one point, callum acccidently let it slip at dinner when johnny had first moved out that he had met a cute guy and their dad screamed and yelled at the whole family, especially their mom, about "raising a fucking whore of a son, dragging the family down to shite"

blair called and told johnny a few days later and johnny rushed his work as quickly as possible and begged his chain of command for a few days off to go back home to his family

his family gets loud…like really loud. there’s 7 people what do you expect?

it gets especially bad when it’s sunday morning and you gotta get 7 people awake and looking their church best for an hour and a half 😔

johnny is the quickest everything there is, which has its downsides too. he could run and swim the fastest in the family, but he was also the quickest eater…meaning he’s on dish washing duty. he’s quick at that too so by the time everyone’s finished, he’s washed all the other dishes that took to make dinner

broke his arm chasing a cat through someone’s yard (he was 14)

had a goat scream and kicked him because he wanted to give it a hug

he got a part time job at a local bakery in 10th grade (year 11). the pay wasn’t much but neither was the work really. olivia, who was 9 at the time, made him promise that he’ll get her a doll to have tea with. her tea set had 4 cups but only one of her, so she must get another one to join her! he kept his promise; he ended up getting three dolls for her

he can make amazing soda bread and brioche loafs now too, still keeps a starter from the owner of the bakery to this day

he had a mountain bicycle that he would take everywhere. had room behind his seat for packages and his backpack, which he would tie down. that thing had such a loud bell too, would ring constantly to “let people know hes coming and get ready”

was terrified of selkies for some reason, always had the window closed and made callum sleep by it while he slept by the door

wasn’t much of a troublemaker, but would get into trouble with his adventurous heart.

got lost in the woods once and after a while of fake courage, he sat down and cried until elsie found him. he was 20 yards (13 meters) away from the clearing 😭😭

laugh at that guys, mf was 15

personality & relationship hcs

johnny is such a fun lover. he’s handsome yeah, but what makes ppl flaunt over him is his humor. he’s what jessica rabbit said “he makes me laugh”

such a charismatic and charming person, gets it from his dad. he could talk about just about anything, also the type to strike up a conversation with a stranger at the grocery store. then end up with their number and a date or helping them dog sit

this isn’t always a good thing though, one time before he was medicated, he would talk on and on, his story becoming incoherent due to the amount of self-interruptions he made, that a group of guys got so annoyed at that pub, they punched him.

he was young, 19, and couldn’t fight, so he didn’t win and came back to the barracks with a nasty black eye

he likes to be the big spoon, has to hold something in order to sleep

feel like he’s the type to wrap his arms around a pillow and lay on his stomach to sleep

speaking of sleeping, he HATES sleeping with socks on. he tried it one day and he just shivered at the feel of it, woke up and his socks were missing (he found them under the bed)

i also feel like he sleeps like a log, unmoving once he finds his comfort, i also think it's because he had to sleep in the same bed as his siblings at one point and he didn't want to wake them by moving, so he got accustomed to being a still sleeper

one time he accidentally got into a fight at a bar when a guy kept being misogynistic and was arrested and kept in jail for the whole night until one of his civilian friends bailed him out

johnny's the type to race you in the rain to the car. again, he's quick so he's always ahead of you but then he slips from the rain and ends up all wet and muddy and in the car.

his favorite thing to do is hear you laugh. he'll do anything to hear you laugh.

whenever you're sad, he'll purposely stub his toe or trip down the stairs or make you kiss his "owie" (a papercut) to get you to cheer up. like yeah it hurts like a fucking bitch but seeing you sad hurts more than a silly tumble

number one date event is city exploring and hopping. like cafe hopping, pub hopping, museum hopping, restaurant hopping, anything that makes you get up and get going with time to sit and chill at the same time.

feels like he can eat a lot, he's the type to eat your food if you end up not liking it or being too full

when he gets home from missions and the initial excitement of seeing you dies down, he also dies down and nap for hours until it's the middle of the night and he gets up to eat something.

he loves naps. feels like he needs a nap time every day if it was possible

he's a very kind lover, he's easy going so its not hard that sometimes people take advantage of this and push his buttons until he can't take it anymore

causes a huge blowup because he can have a nasty temper whenever he bottles stuff up and pushes things aside

not a physical manifestation of anger, but definitely a verbal anger, will say things he doesn't really mean just to say it and realize right after the words leave his lips that he fucked up

but he'll stake out in front of the guest bedroom in which you've locked yourself in until you come out and he gets the chance to forgive you

the type to stand in the rain and hold a sign saying sorry right outside your window, a very cheesy romcom style (gaz made him watch them)

he loves you more than anything and loves you even more than you can keep up with him and laugh at his jokes, no matter how awful they are

he wants 4 kids by the way

[lola-legendary]

Apology Post (with extra info)

TW! Suicidal thoughts/Intrusive thoughts, poor grammar

(Note: Every hate message I receive referring to the post below will be posted here as well. Pin of shame, bastards!)

I edited this lightly to add some extra information and move the TLDR up here, and added a cut.

Now, with the explanation, things have calmed down a bit. However, due to poor conduct, asks are going to be turned off until Sunday (25/2) and anon asks will be on back at 1/3.

If it continues when I resume anon asks, everything will be off again.

TLDR: I felt guilty and my mental health deteriorated because of the war, so I blocked the Palestine tag and received heavy backlash.

So the post I am referring to is this one. (Note: Said post has now been deleted by yours truly.)

Here, I will detail why I made this post, the events leading up to it and the backlash.

Some background information: I am a 14–year-old girl with unmediated anxiety and depression.

I have always been concerned about human rights. Even when I was a child, I would ask my mom, “Why do we have wars? Why can’t everyone get along?”

I tried to write a letter to my principal asking for more extensive sex ed, but scrapped it once I remembered that I was in a catholic school.

And when the Ukrainian war came along - biggest incident since I got access to tumblr - I was a staunch supporter of Ukraine. When I wasn’t in uniform, I made a point to dress in blue and yellow. No one noticed, of course.

In the early days of the Palestinian Genocide, I was eager to reblog any and all information that crossed my dash, even though I knew I couldn’t do anything to help. If you scroll down deep enough, you can find my posts.

However, as time passed and the war went on, whenever I saw those posts, I started getting thoughts to off myself. Those included, though not limited to:

“Oh, wow, look at you scrolling tumblr while millions are dying. Good job you, why don’t you go and join Hitler in hell, you’re contributing to this mess.”

And it got so bad that I would have mini panic attacks whenever I saw some posts like that.

I blocked the tag last year.

At that time, I sent an anonymous ask to @justagingerwithredhair, one of two people I trusted decently with my mental issues.

I can’t find it anymore, but it went something like this:

“Ginger, I’m sorry but I had to block the Palestine tag, it’s detrimental to my mental health and I can’t deal with it anymore”

and it was received positively.

Yesterday (in my timezone), I posted the post seen in the photo. I had not enough brainpower to realise that it could be taken both ways.

I was blocked by at least one person and received the following anonymous ask.

You can see my response in my blog, but I will repeat it again.

I am not a terrorist, a genocidal maniac, an Islamophobic bitch or a Zionist.

I have spoken out against Israel. I watch videos of Islamophobic people with disgust. I was outraged when the Holocaust was not required teaching in my school. I believe the Israeli Government is in the wrong.

If you keep this up I will be the one hanging from buildings.

You have made me write a post about my life that’s longer than 90% of my fanfictions. Congratulations.

@tobefree-in-palestine

[evermorethecrow]

asking really nicely so you can properly explain? please? pretty please? with a cherry on top? 🛐

SIGHHHHHHHH

fine because you were nice

Every evermore au summarised PROPERLY

1) Yuuko au-

Chuuya gets a kid at 14 and has to deal with it

2) Cryptid au-

Chuuya nakahara died in 1935, came back and is now murderous and evil (and a giant ram sometimes)

3) High school au-

Chuuya nakahara is a 15 year old who wants to be completely erased from memory when he dies, simultaneously he wants to fight with everything to keep living (it doesnt work)

4) Vampire au-

Chuuya was born (wrong) into an aristocratic heavily established vampire family with a lot of not so great traditions. after escaping from them the third time he looses it a little bit and decides to now dedicate his life to murdering them all off, as well as anyone who gets in the way. hes aproached by mori ougai the head of a powerful vampire slaying organisation and joins to help his plans. i also gave him a gun

5) God au-

born as the god of luck and fortune chuuya is stolen by humans and placed in a shrine to bring insane luck to the earth. then shit hits the fan. Now hes stuck as the god of curses (and bad luck) and cant walk around without hell breaking loose

6) Plant shop au-

Chuuya nakahara ends up at a police station at 14 and meets murase (as well as some other cops). Chuuya is going to be given a death sentence but after some less than legal talk with his supervisors murase can remove it completely. the only condition is rehabilitating chuuya back into society, which proves a harder task than thought considering a few extra issues that went down in his past.

7) College(idol) au-

At 15 chuuya nakahara is the lead of a world famous pop idol group. Shifty treatment from his manager makes chuuya decide to quit, however on while preforming his last show something technical goes wrong, the stage explodes, the other members got away safe but chuuya was hospitalised. the world assumes him dead and since he contract is over he decides to keep it that way, content with living his life like a normal person now. until hes in collage and it turns out his new roomate was the biggest fan of him and his old group. chaos ensues

8) Sky casino chuuya au-

After hardly a year in the sheep chuuya is found by fyodor and placed inside the sky casino for safe keeping. now at 16 hes very good at his job and very bad at being tollerant of annoying house guests from the port mafia

9) DOA au-

15 goes wrong, chuuya gets hit a lot harder by the sheep and he ends up at fyodors doorstep (through less than natural circumstances). hes been working for the doa since. Dazai and him re-meet at 22 after hes captured by the port mafia. it goes intrestingly.

10) Scene kid au- a fun au where everyone in the show wears some kind of alt fashion (also theres like the worlds impending and quickeningly near end looming over everyone but that doesnt matter)

11) God+Vampire slayer au-

Chuuya is the (born human) reincarnatation of the god/lord of the wild in an era where vampire-like zombies run wild. he meets a boy who turned into a vampire but somehow remained concious and is now working with him and a shifty doctor to blast gore everywhere try and find a cure

12) Ability swap au

Chuuya has no longer human instead of Tainted but keeps his singularity, dazai has flawless but keeps being anything but. They have eachother. (that could be enough)

13) No Yuuko au-

Yuuko (that kid who chuuya got) never actually MEETS chuuya and instead through a long path of events ends up in the custody of a 20 year old dazai. what could possibly go wrong

14) college au 2 eletric boogaloo-

Chuuya nakahara grows up strict catholic and ends up a single parent in some lousey apartment trying to ballence class and like not killing his child. also his roomate is an annoying bastard who wont shut up

15) Nun Au-

Chuuya's raised in a cult and then joins the mafia.

16) Pokemon au Red-

All the bsd charecters live in the world of pokemon. chuuyas a gym leader and secretly a team rocket executive following his bosses order to prevent some kid finding mew

17) Pokemon au Blue-

Pokemon exist in the bsd verse! Canon except they all have pokemon to fight with and chuuya may or may not be spiritually connected to a lucario

18) Demon ability au-

Instead of tainted sorrow chuuya has an ability reminiscent of kouyou and kyoukas. (hes still got that singularity unfortunatly but this time its in a huge fucking demon?) his role in the pm changes acordingly

19) Mermaid au- chuuya's a mermaid happily enjoying life on land. Dazai is a mermaid hellbent on dragging chuuya back to the ocean

20) Circus au-

when chuuya joins the port mafia hes placed under lippmanns command instead of kouyou's. unfortunatly its not that easy and the port mafia's fronting as a circus. now chuuyas got to learn how to use rope.

21) Elise au-

On his deathbed mori manages to transfer his ability to chuuya. hes now living through elise. it goes as well as you'd expect now the mafias being run by an 11 year old

22) Chuuya stays with the sheep au-

self explanitory, dazai's plan fails and chuuya never ends up leaving the sheep. then 15 rolls around and verlaine disposes of them. chuuya travels around with verlaine until hes eventually rescued by the flags

23) Ada au-

chuuya moves to the ada after stormbringer. he works with yosano in the infirmary.

24) Demon/Coffee shop au-

Ex-fighting ring demon chuuya runs a coffee shop and tries to be evil (hes bad at it)

25) Chuuya is inside my laptop au-

Dazai finds a beat up laptop on the floor one day and being the cheap person he is decides to take it. the only issue is theres someone (something?) living inside it (its chuuya)

26) Dragon au-

Chuuya nakahara is one of the last dragons of his kind. dazai wants a pet dog but gets something more exotic instead

27) Nyan bungou stray nekos au- nyan neko sugar girls but bsd derailed and i dont know how to explain this now

29) Botw au-

chuuya's a gerudo who isnt that good at fitting in, dazai's a zora next in line for the throne whos bad at everything. together they make a wildfire look like a beach holiday

Honarable mentions

Danganrompa au (Only existed so i could execute chuuya)

Vocaloid/Utauloid au (canon except they have vocasynth voices)

Evermore's chuuyai farm and factory

[bengiyo]

Get to Know Me Tag :)

I was tagged by @telomeke and shaded by @lurkingshan.

do you make your bed?

Not usually, but I don't have a partner right now. I find that I'm actually really good at cleanliness when I have people in my space regularly. I am better about taking care of things when I'm doing them for the ease of others.

what's your favourite number?

14, but I couldn't tell you why. I think it has something to do with a girl named Ciara who I sat behind in elementary school.

what is your job?

I fix things for a government agency.

if you could go back to school, would you?

Probably. I didn't really know what I wanted to do when I went to college, and was far too much a mess at the time to study what I really should have. If I could do it and maintain my expenses, I'd retrain for my preferred profession.

can you parallel park?

Yes. I am the gay who drives.

a job you had that would surprise people?

I was paid for over two years to be really good at D&D.

do you think aliens are real?

So... I gotta be honest... I hate this question. This feels as loaded as the "Do you believe in God?" question. We are not aware of the existence of life on other planets, let alone sentient life. There is nothing for me to believe in. Do I hope that there are other intelligent beings out there? Yes. I think it would be really cool to engage in communication with a species that also crawled their way out of the muck and made it to space. I think there's much we could learn from each other about life and the universe itself. But belief is such a loaded term for me as a lapsed Catholic. I do not believe in aliens, but I hope that we'll get to meet some in the future.

can you drive a manual car?

Nope! Never needed to learn.

what's your guilty pleasure?

Hmm... Nothing really anymore?

tattoos?

Nah, I've always worked in the public sector in a way that hasn't made it an advisable choice, and I've rarely cared enough about something to mark my body with it.

favorite color?

Purple most of the time, but my wardrobe would say I'm in my green era.

favorite type of music?

I'm a soft rock 90s kid who embraced a lot of 2000s and later alternative. I've been on a huge synthwave kick lately. However, because I grew up in the 90s and remember the era of radio, I have a deep affection for Soul and R&B, classic rock, and pop.

do you like puzzles?

Yes? But not in a way that makes me yearn for them.

any phobias?

Probably falling, but that seems like a normal one for survival purposes.

favorite childhood sport?

Baseball! I was a shortstop.

do you talk to yourself?

Not often. I don't actually have an internal monologue, so I don't need to talk to myself often to get through it.

what movies do you adore?

This is...so difficult. I'm just going to name a ton of films: Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin, Pacific Rim, Ghost Dog, Master and Commander, The Man From Earth, The Sum of Us, Big Eden, Kill Bill 1 and 2, Knives Out, Muppet Treasure Island, Gattaca, C.R.A.Z.Y., Weekend, First Blood, Robocop, Starship Troopers, Drive My Car, Nine Days, Really Love, Set it Off, Make the Yuletide Gay, Shelter, Pig, Kiki's Delivery Service, The Digimon Movie, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Star Wars IV and V, Isa Pa With Feelings, The Way He Looks... and probably many more.

coffee or tea?

Coffee. Tea does so little for me.

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

A train conductor or an astronaut! Trains are so cool, and space is the final frontier! We have to boldly go where no one has gone before!

I'll tag @shortpplfedup, @negrowhat, @chicademartinica, @so-much-yet-to-learn and @happypotato48

[thedreadvampy]

I find Americans talking about religion fascinating because they think the weird pentecostal/evangelical eschatology cults are Normal Christianity and not like. a really specific thing.

and that is by no means to say Christianity elsewhere is less fucked up but it's different.

like Americans will say stuff like "like most Christians, this cult believes we're in the end times and have to reclaim Zion to bring about Revelations, but what's weird about their beliefs is..." and it's like???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN LIKE MOST CHRISTIANS?????

like Scotland's still a pretty Christian country. some of the biggest sociopolitical divides are Christian sectarianism. we got Presbyterians we got Catholics we got Episcopalians we got Quakers (hi) we got Baptists and Methodists and Jehovah's Witnesses and so on. half of the population are Christian. but I don't think I have ever met more than a handful of people whose Christian belief is focused on Revelations and the end times. that's weird stuff my guys.

my outside appraisal of American Christianity is that it looks really very samey. there doesn't seem to be a lot of significant theological difference, or tbh aesthetic difference, between a good number of the major churches. worship practise, structure, and the focus on sin, evangelism and apocalypse seem to be way more common threads there than in Europe. and I feel like people grow up in that and think that means all Christianity is the same as that. which like. it isn't.

A lot of folks I know who've been to American Quaker communities, for example, have been really surprised at how much some Meetings in the US are cramming into the same episcpentamethodbaptitradcathevangelist church model - fire and brimstone preachers, our god is a great big god songs, focus on end times prophecy - and it just doesn't. line up with the degree of diversity in practise and focus for different Christian sects in most other parts of the world. where like. those types of churches also exist (the evangelical born-again rapture and damnation churches) but they're one approach among many.

and again that's not cause like. Christianity is only bad in the US and not bad anywhere else. Christianity does a lot of social good and a looooooot of social harm everywhere. but it's wild what Americans, Christian or otherwise, seem to take as the baseline beliefs of global Christianity. like I went to a Church of England school and I don't believe I was ever taught about Revelations, let alone the rapture or young earth ideology or biblical literalist creationism, except, eventually, as a thing some other people believe and it's weird. when the young earth creationists came into my secondary school to prostyletize it was a bloodbath cause every 14 year old in that room was like "what r u talking about m8 that's cult shit".

what I'm saying is: there's not a huge amount of universal Christian beliefs across all sectors except like "God is there. There's some Bible which contains some amount of spiritual value for some amount of literal interpretation. Jesus? Pretty great and important guy. Probably the son of God or actually God or some secret third thing." and everything else there's some dissent on. but of the things that are broadly though not fully universal - maybe like heaven, hell, sin, redemption through faith or deed, the resurrection, a physical/spiritual divide, prayer, some key holidays etc - I don't think that 'weirdly intense eschatology involving reclaiming Zion, global warfare, the Antichrist, decades of torturous end times, physical rapture etc' is in that mix. that's your country's weird thing that it's since exported through cultural colonialism, just like Christianity itself was largely exported through European cultural colonialism.

[queerslurheritageposts]

Speaking of fairy as a slur

I went to a catholic high school and the school and mascot both started with f so other school nicknamed us the [school name] fairies and when I was 14 and heard it the first time I was like ?????? And like a year and a half later I came out and I was like "huh, I mean they weren't wrong ig?"

Then when I got older and embraced slurs and I was like fuck yeah man I am a fucking fairy

FAIRY SOLIDARITY 💯😤✨🧚🏼🤝

[loneberry]

some notes on sufism

The other day I went to the Harvard Divinity School Muslims iftar (the meal that breaks the fast during Ramadan), which was followed by a concert of Turkish music that is traditionally performed in Sufi lodges in Istambul. Before the music began, the professor I’ve been auditing Islamic literature classes with read some verses from Rumi’s Masnavi and offered a meditation on fasting through an interpretation of the lines: “If you have closed this mouth, another mouth is opened, which becomes an eater of the morsels of mysteries.” That is the nature of mystical knowledge—gnosis (or maʿrifa) is not understood intellectually, but tasted (dhawq). The closing of the bodily mouth is an opening of the spiritual mouth. He asked us to listen to the music with the inner heart.

I went with my friend S, who has been nudging me toward conversion. I’ve been allergic to religion most of my life because I’m not really much of a joiner. I distinctly remember being in (Catholic) Sunday School as a child and thinking to myself: This sounds fake to me. As in, made-up, irrational. The people who treated the fanciful stories like fact seemed like crackpots to me, even to my child-mind. I don’t think I ever believed in Santa either—I guess my disposition was innately skeptical; perhaps that contributed to my identification with anarchism from when I was 13 or 14. Yet at the same time, my feeling for the invisible, for the world of the dead, was always quite strong, even when it was unstitched from a belief system. As a kid I would wander the house alone at night, thinking I could hear my dead parakeet chirping from a shoebox in the garage.  

I hated Sunday School. While I was always good at school-school (at least when I was a child, before I became an incorrigible truant), I was terrible at Sunday School. Because it seemed like hocus-pocus to me, none of it stuck. My classmates had internalized all the stories I thought were outlandish. During mass I would think exclusively about donuts, the ones we would buy from the ladies who would sell them as a fundraiser. I’ve thought about returning to Catholicism, but sadly, after the post-1970s political realignment in the US, all the leftist Catholics (the Marxists who loathed the Vietnam War and exposed the FBI’s COINTELPRO) are gone. As much as I love reading Catholic mystics (St Teresa of Avila, St John of the Cross, Angela of Foligno, Hildegard of Bingen, Meister Eckhart, Marguerite Porete, and others), Christian mysticism is more individualist than Islamic mysticism—asceticism and separation from the group is the way to commune with God, while Islamic mysticism is rooted in communal practices like sama (singing, dancing, reciting poetry, playing/listening to music) and dhikr (communal prayer for the remembrance of God). While Christian mysticism bears the imprint of the Neoplatonist trajectory of ascent, for Sufism, the trajectory is shaped like a paisley. After fana (annihilation of the ego/union with God/dying before you die), there is baqaa or subsistence, a return of sorts. 

I also much prefer the Islamic orientation to the created world than the Christian one, for in Islam, everything in creation can be understood as the breath or speech of God. The Hadith on which Sufi cosmology is based reads, “I was a hidden Treasure and Loved to be known, so I created the world that I might be known.” All of creation is a mirror to reflect God (this is why you must polish the rust from your heart, for the human heart can manifest all the names and qualities of God). In the Islamic mystical tradition there is an affirmation of the created world even though God and creation are not the same (as is the case in Pantheism). Everything has ontology. Nothing has ontology. The Sufi metaphysicians ask us to see with two eyes. The drop is not the ocean at the same time it cannot be separated from the ocean.

7 years ago I read Reza Aslan’s God: A Human History. After sampling the platter of world religions I joked to myself, Hmmm, if I had to pick the one I vibe with most, I guess it would be Sufism (Islamic mysticism). I didn’t know anything about Sufism other than the Rumi and Hafez poetry I read as a teenager, but the way Aslan described Ibn ‘Arabi’s concept of 'wahadat al-wujud' (or Unity of Being) reminded me of Spinozism. I guess what I’m trying to say is...I just think Sufi metaphysics is...right. Or, it speaks to how I tend to think about reality. It’s not something I can prove (that I don’t exist, while at the same time I am part of the ALL that is God), but it makes the most sense to me.

In the Sufi literature class, S jokes to me: “You’re the only non-Muslim in this class.” The same was probably true at the iftar + concert. S points to someone from the class: “The Maoist is a recent convert. This is their first time fasting for Ramadan.” “Is [our professor] fasting?” “Of course. I saw him at the iftar last night and talked to him about translation. I told him it’s ghastly to try to fit Persian verse into an English rhyme scheme. He agreed with me.” (We are clearly partisans of blank verse translations… yet so much of what’s out there has been poorly translated or not translated at all.) 

Much of the lyrics sung with the gorgeous music were verses written by the great Turkish-language Sufi poet and mystic Yunus Emre ("the Dante of Turkey," I whispered to S). S was ecstatic listening to the haunting ney (a kind of flute). We just so happened to be sitting in the same row as the professor. I tapped S and whispered that it looked like he was really enjoying the music. He was smiling with his eyes closed and swaying his head from side to side. He looked like he was having...a profound experience. This prof usually has what I guess you’d call ‘resting bitch face’ (which I always found funny because it runs counter to his sweet and gentle personality). But not at the concert. Pure bliss was painted on his face. It was then that it dawned on me that Sufism, for him, was probably something more than a scholarly interest. I thought about what it must have been like to discover something so beautiful and profound, and to know, in that moment, that your life will be changed forever—you might go off to Iran and devote your entire life to studying medieval texts. 

Of course this Ramadan I am thinking continuously about the genocide in Gaza, how an entire population is being starved to death by the sadistic leaders of Israel, how terrible it must be to be bombed and shot at during the holy month, or to break your fast with boiled grass and animal feed. I feel truly ashamed to come from a country that is complicit in this violence. I hope everyone continues to apply pressure to end this war—it feels hopeless now, but it is making a difference.

[gurugirl]

In the Beginning | Prequel to Forgive Me, Father

Summary: This prequel details Harry's slow sexual awakening up until he meets Y/n.

A/n: Just a little something extra - much of what is here was pulled from the original story when I felt it was getting too long but I was told I should have left it in - so here it is! 4k words

Warning: Religious themes, sub/dom dynamics, smut, blasphemy, cheating

| Read on Wattpad | Priestrry Masterlist |

The story of Harry’s awakening is something he thinks of fondly now that he allows himself to enjoy his sexual appetite. Especially now that he’s found his pet. The guilt that surrounded his sexuality and his preferences at the beginning was something he gradually learned to embrace.

When he was a boy, he attended Manchester Grammar, a large, all-boys school where Harry was always one of the top of the class and played multiple sports. Harry had always learned to do things the right way and how to be one of the best, if not the best.

Harry's Father was a churchwarden and would often welcome in the new parish priest, offering dinners and taking care of things to make the job easier on the priest. Harry would tag along at times, with his father, and over the years he became quite enamored with the life of priests and the catholic church. His mother never worked, but she supported Harry's father and took care of Harry and his older sister.

The Styles were very much involved in church life. It was what Harry knew during his youth. When he graduated from Manchester Grammar, he knew he wanted to train to be a priest. He went to an all men's religious college and during his second year, he started attending seminary when he settled on the path of his love for religious studies and the priesthood.

In his third year at college, he got his first tattoo. It was easily hidden. It wasn’t strictly forbidden to have tattoos as a priest (though very uncouth and quite rare), which is why he chanced getting one in the first place. But even then, he still didn’t want many knowing he had one. However, one led to another. And then another. The more tattoos he got the more he wanted. It became easy to hide them as no one would ever be seeing much of him without clothes anyway. He enjoyed the little secret and the way it felt when the needle punctured his flesh and pushed ink into the dermis, staining him with a covert story that only he knew about. It was also his first experience in finding satisfaction with pain.

During his final year in college, before he graduated to begin taking theology, he met a young man named Darren. Darren was in Harry's group of friends and it was the first time that Harry realized he was attracted to men. Darren had something about him that opened Harry's eyes and he had been able to ignore his attraction until he awoke in the middle of the night from a dream about Darren.

Harry had a roommate in the college dorm but he couldn't stop himself from wrapping his fist around his cock and finishing himself off to the image of Darren's mouth on him. In Harry's dream, he had his fingers in Darren's hair and was pushing and pulling Darren over his dick, up and down, forcefully.

The guilt Harry felt about masturbating in general was bad enough. He'd been taught by his mother (when she caught Harry wanking at the age of 14) that it was sinful and could invite Satan into their home and into his heart. So Harry rarely ever let his sin or his lust take over in a way that led him to masturbate.

But the guilt he felt when he masturbated to the image of Darren, a man, was almost unbearable. Harry cut off contact with his friend completely after that because he knew he couldn't control himself. Harry never let himself be put into a position where he'd act on his carnal feelings. And Darren was someone he lusted after so he did what he needed to do to completely suppress his feelings.

When he studied Theology and philosophy after graduating from seminary he was also training as a deacon in a church and met a young woman called Ally. She was so sweet and bright and thoughtful. And she always blushed and looked away from Harry every time they spoke. There was something so gentle and meek about her. She was shy but she was quick to help and assist when needed. Harry found her personality appealing.

Harry began fantasizing about bossing her around a little. It started, maybe not entirely innocently but not in such a way that Harry recognized his fantasies as sexual at first.

He'd imagine telling her to turn the page on his Bible while he read aloud so he could keep his hands clasped together. Or have her pull his chair out for him and wait by his side for further instructions. He'd wonder what it would be like to have her on her knees next to him and praying to God while Harry critiqued her prayer.

Slowly his fantasies became more sinful and he imagined her doing these things with less clothing until he imagined her naked and crawling to him, begging him for tasks. Every time he saw her he found her more and more appealing. She was cute, certainly. But Harry was always doing his best not to look too closely.

But Harry did recognize the dreams he'd have that began regularly when he became the transitional deacon on his way to becoming a priest. Lusty, sinful, sexy... Harry hated waking up with a hard-on and he didn't always take care of himself. He was able to push his desires down and it only made him feel stronger and more pious.

On an evening after late Sunday mass, most people had left the church but Ally stayed behind to help clean up when she didn't need to. Harry couldn't help himself when he told her to adjust her ponytail as it was falling from the band, "Straighten that up a bit. You look messy." Harry watched her take the hairband from her hair and then smooth her hair out before putting her hair back into a tighter ponytail while she looked at him, "Like that?" She asked with big innocent eyes.

Harry excused himself to go to the men's room after that. He couldn't help himself. She'd only readjusted her ponytail but the fact that she'd done it at his command and while looking at him like she had he nearly lost it.

After relieving his dick and praying for forgiveness he went back to Ally and told her she was done for the day. Ally left with no remarks or questions, just nodding and smiling shyly. That was even a turn-on for Harry and he didn't know why.

On another occasion, Ally was next to him during a luncheon. Everyone was in line to pick up a plate and she smelled so pretty.

Harry asked her if she was wearing perfume and she told him she was. Harry watched her plate some potatoes for herself and then before she could scoop up anything else Harry took her plate from her, "Plate mine."

Ally looked up at him as Harry gave her his plate and he held hers. She looked confused but she did as he demanded. He told her what he wanted on his plate and she listened to him as she filled it. When they got to the end of the line, Harry gave her her plate back, with only the potatoes as she handed him his, "You shouldn't wear such strong perfume at church. Now get back in line to get your food."

He didn't know why he'd done that either. It just felt natural. He didn't know why he wanted to punish her for wearing such pretty perfume, but she didn't make a peep about it, going to the back of the line and then being one of the last to eat.

But with each new thing Harry discovered about himself, he would also dream about doing such things to her, or someone unknown. But in his dreams, things were more sinful. Quite a bit more sinful. Many he'd wake up from having the most shameful feelings in his heart. Dreams of tying someone to his bed and playing with them, leaving them and having them still there for him after coming back from a long day of school and work.

One morning, when Harry was at church Ally came by, unexpectedly. She sought Harry and confronted him, "Why do you demand things of me? Have I done something wrong?" She'd grown tired of the way Harry would treat her. He wasn't mean, but he was bossy and he certainly wasn't nice either. He was surprised that she’d found the gall to ask him.  

Harry didn't know how to answer her. She looked so soft on the morning she arrived to speak to him and he wished he could understand it himself. When he was tempted to lean down to kiss her he realized he needed to keep his distance from her once and for all. She was too tempting and too sweet. She'd only continue to do what he wanted and he didn't know how far he would push it, because, in his dreams, he was taking her virginity (which also meant he was losing his own virginity) in a rather filthy way.

From then on he avoided Ally, even though he caught her often looking at him with her big innocent eyes and a pout on her face.

His dreams continued to get nastier. He dreamt of men and woman and spankings, floggings... He began to flog himself as well as a way to receive penance. But he learned after a handful of self-floggings that he liked it. He'd even get an erection from it. He thought he was damaged or perhaps the few times he had masturbated did invite Satan into his heart and so he was suffering from the sin of being possessed.

When he met with his elders and leaders to get council about his dreams (he didn't go into detail because he would have surely not been allowed to continue his path) they only told him it was normal to have lustful dreams but that he must resist the temptation to act them out while he was awake.

So Harry did just that. He'd wake from disgusting and depraved dreams, wet in his underpants from coming (he didn't even need to have his hand around his cock he was so horny from all the denied orgasms) and he'd ask forgiveness and put it out of his mind.

When he moved to Wisconsin to his first true priest's parish, he continued to keep his urges a secret. He pushed them down, flogged himself regularly, and prayed to God to deliver him from his own carnal thoughts.

He recognized it when he saw attractive men and women but his guilt always did him in at the end of the day. Floggings became a pleasure and replaced masturbation for him. He didn't need to have an orgasm to feel relief. He would strike his back and let the leather cut into his skin and it redirected him, but he always got an erection from it. There were times Harry considered leaving the priesthood so he could finally know what it was like to carry out his fantasies.

The day Mrs. Brockton invited him for dinner he was having a rough day. He'd woken up with his cock drained of his come after the lewdest dreams so he flogged himself to ask forgiveness and his cuts went deeper than normal, causing tears to leak from his eyes from the pain. But it didn't stop his dick from hardening up. But, being the good and holy man that he was, he ignored his lust and didn't touch his plumped penis for relief of any kind. He ached to have his balls emptied again, but he felt powerful knowing how he could still deny his flesh.

So, when Mrs. Brockton revealed they were alone, Harry knew he should leave. He knew Mrs. Brockton found him attractive, he could tell by the way she flirted. And Harry noticed it because he found Mrs. Brockton very attractive. She was ten years older than him with no children, but she was married. And she was gorgeous with big lips and big tits and a nice round ass Harry tried to not imagine spanking.

That day, in particular, had been difficult for Harry so he grew hard in his pants at just the touch of her hand on his knee. It was embarrassing.

But he needed to take care of his problem before she knew what was happening and when she found him in the bathroom pumping himself and on the verge of coming, she took him down her throat, and it was as if Harry wasn't even the one making the decisions. The very second she fell to her knees in front of him he turned into a man who wasn't a priest, but a man with a need and a desire that was so strong it could no longer be ignored.

He pressed her head down over him as she bobbed on his cock and she looked up at him with a bit of surprise when he forced her down and she gagged. He released her quickly and tried to apologize but she just smiled and went back to work to finish him off and it was the first time Harry had ever felt anything like it. To come at the hands of another.

He left quickly after with apologies and shame. The guilt that struck him was nearly enough to make him fly back to London and leave the priesthood for good. He cried to God and didn't allow himself to sleep in his bed or eat for three days.

He tried to avoid Mrs. Brockton but the following week she came to him in the confessional and he knew it was her when she uttered her first word. He would never forget her voice or her perfume.

"I've sinned, Father. I've cheated on my husband. Took an attractive younger man's penis into my mouth and swallowed his seed down. And the worst part is how much I enjoyed it and how much I wish it could happen again."

He listened to her describe the blowjob and his breathing deepened. He became angry but he was horny too.

"Enough. Stop it. You've been very bad and you've tricked a young man into sinning. You are like Eve in the Garden of Eden. A temptress and a sinner."

Mrs. Brockton stayed quiet as Harry's demeanor changed from his usual kind and warm manner to something darker and dominating.

Harry's mouth was nearly watering at the lustful things he was thinking and his dick was hard. God if only he could have controlled that side of himself at that moment. He continued, "You will need to pray on your knees to God for your salvation and for the young man who you've tempted and tricked. Right now."

It happened so fast. Harry was unlocking the little hook to the door and pulling Mrs. Brockton into his side of the box. He pushed her down and made her pray in between his legs (the little confessional box was a tight fit so Harry had to open his legs up to allow Mrs. Brockton space to get on her knees). She pressed her hands together and began praying as Harry took his penis out and wrapped his hand around himself, pumping his cock as she kept her head down.

When she began to repeat a prayer of forgiveness Harry yanked her by her hair and brought her mouth to the crown of his cock, "Keep praying," he said as he pushed her down onto him and threw his head back. She licked and sucked as Harry kept his hands in her hair to control her pace.

Before he could come she shoved at him and gasped when his dick was pulled out of her throat, "Father Harry, please..." she said as she stood and lifted her skirt and climbed into his lap. She took his hand and brought it down to her panties, "Feel this. Have you ever felt a woman when she's wet before? Wet from lust?"

Harry was speechless. He let Mrs. Brockton guide his fingers under her panties and feel her pubic hair and her wet crease. She moved his hand up and down so he could really feel it and he let out a small gasp when she brought his hand up to her mouth and sucked on his finger.

"Would you like to feel it on your big cock?" She said as she rubbed his foreskin and squeezed his shaft in her palm.

Harry shook his head no so she began to move off his lap at his answer, but he grasped her hips and held her still so she couldn't move off of him. He closed his eyes as he pulled her up to him and she rubbed herself on him. He felt her hair meet his shaft and then the wetness it left behind. Harry grasped onto her bottom and pushed her in closer and he let out the smallest whimper.

Harry was fighting with himself. An internal battle that had begun years ago, and now, it would be so easy to let it just happen. But the guilt was not as strong as the lust and the need he had at that moment.

"May I Father?" She said as she brushed her mouth on his and lifted herself upward. He didn't respond so she only brushed his tip into her folds and placed him at her entrance, never sinking down onto him but letting him feel his crown at her wet hole, "All you have to do is push it in, that's my opening and it's wet and warm, and ready for you."

He had been so close but he pushed her off at the last second. He was not the same after that.

In fact, the next time they saw one another it was Harry who went to her. He'd gotten condoms (he stole them actually, as the person at the register knew who he was and he couldn't get caught with condoms - just another thing to add to his list of sins) because he had planned for it this time. He couldn't deny it any longer and he knew Mrs. Brockton was willing and wouldn't say a word. Mr. Brockton had left town and when Harry showed up at her door she smiled and knew why he was there.

She sucked him off first and he came in under two minutes. Then she laid herself out on her bed and spread her legs for him and walked him through cunnilingus, “I’ll show you how to eat, Harry.” Harry was eager and horny and he was good. He didn't make her come the first time, but he got her nice and wet, and then she showed him how to put the condom on.

The moment he sunk his cock inside of Mrs. Brockton he coughed out a moan and his heart pounded out of his chest.

She praised him as he pushed in and pulled out, slowly then a little harder and a little faster. She complimented his big dick and moaned his name loudly. She encouraged him to look down at where they were connected and when he did he came into his condom with a groan.

But their affair didn't stop there. Harry visited Mrs. Brockton often and she knew where to find him as well. When he learned to control his orgasm, to hold out longer he became even kinkier, reliving all of his dreams and fantasies. Mrs. Brockton encouraged him to put his hand around her throat in his rectory when he fucked her against his desk.

The first time he spanked her she was surprised because he'd done it without being prompted. She liked it. So did he.

They maintained a quiet affair for about six months. Harry wavered between hating himself and loving his new self.

On an evening when Harry was very needy and horny Mrs. Brockton couldn't see him because her husband was home. That was the first time Harry began researching where he could go for sex without it being a proustite situation. There were clubs in Milwaukee and Chicago and even Kenosha, Wisconsin. His research led him to a sex club in Chicago where he found many willing participants. Chicago was nearly two and a half hours away but the club was discreet and far enough away that he felt like he'd never run into anyone that went to his church.

It was at the club that he learned he was dominant and preferred his partners to be submissive. He learned a lot from Mrs. Brockton, but in the years following their affair, he learned even more by going to the club and meeting people.

Occasionally he'd bring them back with him. He'd tell them his situation, that he was a priest, and some really liked that. Others wouldn't touch it. But the ones who liked it and still wanted him only gave him more confidence to do what his worldly self desired.

The longer he could keep someone around (which was never very long because most had jobs and lives to get back to) the easier it became for him to forgive himself.

And the more he forgave himself, the more he enjoyed himself. He realized he had very little resistance when it came to people wanting to fuck him. He learned he was very appealing and attractive to most which fed his ego.

He would go through short periods of fasting from sex and his desires, but each time he went back into it, he got deeper into the things he enjoyed. He bought a cage and a bar with cuffs that hung in his room. People liked when he punished them. Harry liked to punish people and tell them what to do.

One young man, Arthur, he kept for much longer than the others. Arthur didn't need to work because he was born into money. And Arthur was very pretty and submissive. He connected well with him, but every now and then, Arthur would do something that Harry just didn't like. So he would punish Arthur but he never seemed to learn. Harry didn't mind the occasional brat, but Arthur was a brat more often than not. In fact, one time, Harry had a small group over as he normally did on Sunday afternoons and occasionally during the week for prayer. Arthur was tied up and gagged and placed in the cage during the hour-long meeting. But Arthur thought it might be funny to make a little noise in hopes of getting a really bad punishment.

Harry knew Arthur would get risky sometimes so tying him up and gagging him was necessary when he had guests.

But Arthur was able to push his elbow against the back wall of the cage, making a muted thudding noise.

The guests could all hear it and one of them asked what the noise was. Harry was hoping they wouldn't notice it.

He made up a quick lie about a water pipe that began knocking, which would be fixed soon.

The moment his guests left, Harry stormed into his bedroom, untied Arthur, and drove him to the train station to go back to Winnetka where he lived. He explained that it just wasn't working.

Arthur was quite upset, but so was Harry. Harry really did like him a lot. They got along well and the sex was better than he'd ever had so it was very disappointing that it didn't work.

But then, he met Y/n. Harry had gotten pretty good at recognizing when someone was naturally submissive. He saw her in the congregation and felt something immediately. He wasn't sure until he learned more about her and got to know her, but he had not been disappointed at all. Y/n turned out to be exactly what he'd been searching for.

And Harry was exactly what Y/n needed just the same.

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[dairy-farmer]

I keep thinking about Tim and Jason being high school sweethearts: they meet when Tim is 10 and Jason is 12, and they start dating not long after. It's cute and innocent, but once Tim is 12 and Jason is 14, their relationship starts to become more physical, thanks to hormones and puberty. So they start having sex, and it's great! They're hooked on each other. Tim particularly is an insatiable little glutton for Jason's cock and cum

But then, when Tim is 13 and Jason, freshly 16, goes on a trip for a few weeks and Tim is all alone and not being fucked within an inch of his life, he realizes it might not just be Jason's cock he can't get enough of. Tim fights any urges to seek other ways of filling his cunt out, bc 1. He and Jason talked about it and they are exclusive; no dating anyone aside from each other, completely monogamous (Catholic upbringing Jason is v steadfast in his belief of being solely devoted to your partner) and 2. He's not some slut who can't keep his legs closed!

Except, oh, he must be, bc Jason's big brother Dick seduces Tim so easily. And he resists for a moment but the second Dick has his mouth on Tim's neck, he's a goner. He figures this one time won't hurt, and then he won't ever, ever cheat on Jason again!

But it doesn't work, despite how much Tim wants to control himself, he starts to cheat on Jason more and more frequently, with more and more people. Dick he sleeps with often, Bruce too, even Alfred a handful of times. Usually, Tim tends to cave when he's out and about. He'll get catcalled by some construction workers, and he tries his best to ignore them, but then, next thing he knows he's on his hands and knees in the middle of a half built house, cock in his wet pussy and eagerly sucking down another in his mouth. Each hand is occupied and an hour after that first whistle caught his attention, Tim has 6 loads in his pussy (the first 2 guys wanted to cum there and Tim was too blissed out/shocked to stop them. The last 4 guys Tim begged to cum in his pussy)

Groped on the bus? He lets the stranger yank him off at the next stop to fuck him up against a wall and cum deep inside his bare pussy

Leered at in a crowded store? He lets the stranger lead him to a nearby bathroom and fucks him in an empty stall

Tim never *wants* to cheat on Jason, he just can't help himself! Always weakly protesting at first before caving after hardly any time at all

It's even worse when he gets pregnant, 15 years old and who knows how many notches on his post, and he's almost 100% positive that 17 year old Jason isn't his baby daddy. But Tim loves Jason so much, and he wants them to have a family together! So he lies and says the baby is Jason's, and Jason is elated (if a bit stressed), and they continue on in blissful ignorance

Getting pregnant really should be the last straw, Tim thinks, he's let this go too far! He gives himself leeway during the pregnancy, bc it's not like he's at risk of getting pregnant again, and plus it isn't his fault he needs cock constantly, it's the hormones!

But after the baby is born, no more sleeping with anyone that isn't his sweet, doting, caring bf Jason

He does well, until his first 6 week postpartum checkup. Jason couldn't make it, so Tim went alone and it was fine. The baby is perfect (and thankfully looks just like Tim, no hint at the other father whatsoever, whoever they are) and Tim is doing great, fully healed and everything! Once the doctor is done and leaves the room, a nurse comes in to escort Tim and the baby out, and he asks if Tim has any additional questions. He asks if he and his bf can have sex again now, and he's assured that yes, if his body is up for it, they can totally have sex again! But Tim is unsure, worried it might hurt for him or his pussy might be too loose for Jason, but the nurse smiles at him and offers to show him sometime, how alright it is

He means to leave Tim his number, but Tim asks if he can be shown to the nearest family restroom, and five minutes later, after checking to make sure his baby is perfectly content, fast asleep, and has her carrier covered by a light blanket, he lets this nurse fuck him and cum in him

He's back to his old ways, except this time he's unaware at how fertile he is now, and he gets pregnant not even 3 months after the baby was born, once again unsure as to who knocked him up

But Jason never questions him and loves their family so much, that Tim tries to pretend he doesn't open his legs to anyone who gets close enough, and they live a fairytale life! Just with a lot of sleeping around on Tim's part and not knowing who any of his baby daddy's are

Jason is in absolute heaven! And Tim is, too, with all the sex he gets and how great he feels when pregnant. He's come to accept that he spreads his legs for anyone, and no matter how guilty he feels about it, Tim keeps doing it, and having babies from it, growing his and Jason's little family

poor timmy can't help his horniness 🥺🥺🥺 he's the real victim here!!!

tim just being so incapable of resisting, feeling so ashamed and bad but ultimately being unable to stop all while jason loves him SO much and doesn't even suspect!!

[silverjirachi]

big old fuck you to my freshman high school latin teacher who FIRST DAY OF CLASS first day of high school had us all go around and say why we were taking latin (we were in catholic school) and my 14 year old ass very excitedly and very enthusiastically went on a small tangent about how i was writing a book and one of the characters was from the past and i wanted him to speak some latin and he said “well. that seems like a bad reason. anyways.” like im sorry? your depressed ass played minesweeper all day in the middle of the class you were teaching and you had nothing better to say to a 14 year old. that shit was so hurtful at the time but now its just pathetic oh my god

[the-scottish-costume-guy]

I'm about to go edit a transcript for my research but I've been thinking a lot about people who are gone, versions of ourselves that are gone, and I wanted to have a ramble about fragmented memories of another time. I was raised roman catholic until my cousin (who I view as more of a brother) died when I was 14. I went to church on sundays, I had several of my sacramants - only missing my confirmation (aside form you know, stuff like marriage). I started to realise I might be queer long before I left the church, though I didn't always have words for what I was thinking and feeling. The priest I had grown up with was eccentric to say the least, prone to bouts of anger but also compassionate. I'm not sure what his personal issues were, but they manifested as a very changeable personality. I have trouble remembering faces sometimes, but for some reason I can really picture his... But not from church. When I remember him, its from the times there was a problem with out boiler and he came over to help fix it (he used to be a plumber). I also remember going to his house to talk to him about uncertainty in my faith and things like that... He was always quite open and understanding. I was never confirmed, because I chose a male saints name. I've long since realised I'm Trans, but I argued long and hard about being able to pick a boys name for my confirmation and my school was against it, my parents were against it, the broader church community was against it. Only my priest supported the idea. He said he was happy to do it. Nobody would let him, and a year later he was asked to step down in his position within the church. I have no evidence that was because of me, but it felt like I probably didn't help.

I've had problems with faith since, with people using it as a weapon, as a reason to be cruel to others. I simply can't believe in any form of God anymore, and I'm okay with that - just like i'm okay with other people having that belief. But whenever I think about what religion should be I think back to my old priest - who had once told me that God had made me just the way I was, and I should never be ashamed of that creation. Who had been willing to call me by a mans name long before anyone else I knew. Just thoughts...

[jstarr86]

CH 1

1992

I stepped out of the car, the moving van pulling up behind it. Florida all the way across the country. I didn’t know what to feel, it was pretty so far but I was kinda scared it was different and I didn’t know anyone. I saw my mom talking to someone and walked up to her. She paused looking down at me a smile gracing her face.

“This is Natasha, Sweetheart this is Ms Lisa” I waved she seemed really nice.

“Hi.” I said shyly. A little boy ran up a large smile on his face as he stopped looking at me.

“Hi I’m Joe.”

“Hi,”

“What’s your name?”

“Natasha.”

“Wanna play?”

“Um sure ok.”

“Cool come on.” I followed him not knowing I’d be doing it forever or that I’d met my best friend.

3 Weeks Later

I was playing with Joe, we’d played every day since I’d moved in. It was summer so he was really the only person I knew right now, but I was ok with that he was really fun to be around

“Hey do you wanna go to my cousins with me I’m sure no one will care.” He said goosing the ball

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah why not we’re going to be in school together they’re my best friends kinda like you. They’re twins.”

“Ok.”

“Joe are are ready to go? Hello Natasha.”

“Hello Ms Lisa.”.

“Mom can Natasha come.”

“If her mom there is ok with that I’m sure it’s fine.”

Getting to his cousins I followed Joe as he walked in and I already saw him talking to two boys

“These are my cousins, guys this is Natasha and this is Jon.”

“Hi.”

“Hi I’m Josh.”

Fatu twins and Anoai. I’d been friends with them since day 1 and when that used to be how they were called or triple threat. The four musketeers My best friends, my life. I was so grateful for them, they’d had my back since I moved here and I know my life wouldn’t be the same without them hell I don’t think the move or my life would be as amazing had I not met them

I’d met Joe at 6 when my family moved to Pensacola and we became next door neighbors. My father was in the Navy, I had been born in San Diego California spending the first 6 years of my life in Miramar California since my father was stationed there. TOPGUN I’m sure you’ve heard of it and it’s a real place it’s not there anymore it was moved to Nevada but back then it was also at that base. When I was 6 my father got a promotion and we moved all the way to Florida. They’d found a nice little home off base and that’s where I met Joe; He’s been my best friend since, and within weeks I was friends with his cousins Jon and Josh, those three have been inseparable their entire lives and Joe is just an extra brother instead of a cousin. Always hanging out, playing sports, watching wrestling every week, always together. I spent the summer playing with them and once school started I met more people but no one was ever like us four. We all went to school together our whole lives minus Joe's freshman year where he was at some private catholic school until he got Ms Lisa to switch him to Escambia where the twins and I were. All my classes was always with at least one of them, even though they were a year older I was smart and was skipped a grade so since I’d known them we were together. So much so that rumors always flew as we grew that it was more or like in late middle and through high school I was sleeping with all of them. My ego loves that because they were all fine as hell but was so far from the truth, for the most part. I had lost my virginity to Joe when I was 14 and he had just recently turned 16. His birthday was in May and mine was in August like the twins. Yeah we thought the other attractive but it was mostly a I feel comfortable with you do this, we always knew we were better friends and this never changed our relationship but come that Christmas season we’d both learn that someone was seeing me as more than a best friend and had for a couple years.

When we turned 12 I went from Nat to Snickers. At first I hated it but now I’m used to it. It stuck and everyone ended up calling me it. My best friends had called me it once it was clear puberty had it and it hit hard. One day I was the normal tomboyish girl not really anything and the next morning I had boobs, curves and a ass. I remember waking up freaking out crying and putting clothes on that didn’t fit me before I jumped out of my bedroom window and walking the two feet knocking on my best friends a blanket around me. He opened the window looking at me like I was crazy.

“You sick of something Nat?”

“Can I borrow some clothes?”

“Um yeah, why you have tons.” I sighed opening my blanket as his jaw dropped.

“Yeah and they don’t fit help me.” My shirt that used to be normal was to the middle of my stomach not being able to fit over my boobs and my shorts were way to small

“Holy shit.”

“Joe!”

“I um yeah come in.” He grabbed a big shirt and some basketball shorts handing me them and I quickly went to put them on. I went shopping with my mom getting all new clothes and the twins when they saw me freaked just like Joe.

“What the hell where did all that come from?”

“Where’s Natasha and what did you do?”

“Shut up.” I said embarrassed “everyone at school is gonna be saying shit.”

“And we’ll fight them. But for real you look thicker than a snicker got damn.”

“Jonathan.” I wined

“I mean Nat you woke up like that.” Joe said pointing at me.

“Yo most girls would kill for that like damn you got thick.” Josh muttered. “Lemme touch it.” I glared at him but inside something cluttered in my stomach

“Snickers.”

“What about them.”

“Nah that’s you.”

“Yeah all that booty thicker than a snicker.”

“Our snickers.”

“I hate all three of you.”

“No you don’t.” They responded and after that the name stuck

I walked into Joes room tossing my backpack. He chuckled knowing I wasn’t very happy.

“You ok Snickers?”

“Kinda.”

“Wanna talk about it.”

“I’m tired of being a virgin.”

“Oh. Well I mean we’re 15 we’ll you about to be I just turned 16 and I didn’t know you-“

“Bullshit you're my best friend you know I am when the hell have you seen me with a guy let alone you guys won’t let one near me.”

“Cause we hear how they talk about you we ain’t letting some asshole just date you to hit it and tell everyone. They care about all that.” He said pointing at me “and not this.” He said poking a finger into my chest where my heart was

“Will you.”

“Will I what?” He asked looking up from his game

“Take it.”

“Take what?”

“Joe really, ugh this is already weird, take my virginity.” He dropped the controller looking at me like I was crazy.

“What!?”

“Your my best friend why not.”

“Why me why not one of the twins?” He asked confused and it made me nervous maybe I shouldn’t have asked but I couldn’t ask the twins Jon plays to much and Josh, I couldn’t ask Josh even if I wanted too.

“I’m closer to you and Jon plays too much I’ll hear about this the rest of my life if I asked him and you know it and I can’t ask Josh. Joe I only trust you guys, please.”

“Why can’t you ask Josh?”

“I can’t.”

“Snickers.” He said making me look at him. “Oh shit do you like him, like like him like him.”

“Joe.” I whined blushing.

“Oh my god how did I not know and since when.””

“If you tell him I’ll slit your fucking throat.”

“I won’t but you like him.”

“Ugh yeah ok I like Josh”

“Since when?”

“A little while. So I can’t ask him.”

“Why not like wouldn’t that make you wanna ask him more.”

“No because what if he says no or is weird or it changes shit and if he says no it’ll bother me and I don’t wanna catch more feelings if I sleep with him Joe it’ll probably make me like him more and I can’t do that.”

“You sure about this?”

“I’d rather it be someone I trust and am comfortable with and your my best friend.”

“Ok.” I looked up at him shocked he’d said ok he got up as I looked at him.

“Where-“

“I’m not doing this and taking a chance of having a baby we’re kids we don’t need that I’m sure there’s a condom in this house.” Five minutes later he was back and locked his door holding up a foil pack. “Told ya.”

“Shut up.”

“You sure about this Snickers like once we do this you can’t take it back.”

“I’m not stupid I know that.”

“Look of you want I’ll see where uces heads at if he likes you too, then you can ask him.”

“No, cause then if he does I don’t wanna be clueless.”

“ like he’d care like that Snick you got as hell besides I think he’s a virgin too.”

“Joe”

“I’m just making sure, like this is a big step.”

“I’m a big girl.”.Joe gently touched my face lowering his lips to mine as he kissed me. It felt good but also felt weird. Slowly I got into it and we ended up on his bed. I moaned when he kissed around on my neck and he pulled back

“You ok?”

“Um yeah that, that felt good.” He nodded doing it again. We made out a while his hand sliding up my shirt. We slowly undressed as Joe would ask if I was ok or sure.

“Natasha.” I looked at him as he looked down my eyes following his before looking at him. Joe was handsome as hell they all were. “You sure about this?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me if I hurt you.” He kissed me slowly moving as I gasped it felt weird and kinda hurt but also felt good. “You good?” I nodded as he slid all the way as I winced in discomfort. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re good, move.” I replied touching his face.

Most girls I’d heard those first time wasn’t the best and it hurt and while yeah it hurt a little when Joe first started it wasn’t bad. It was different.”

“Wow.”

“What?” I asked.

“You, that,.”

“Joe.”

“What Snickers, ya can’t get shy now not after that.”

“I’m not your just funny.”

“You sure your ok?”

“Yeah Joe you didn’t really hurt me, I mean you got a big dick at least I’m assuming and it hurt a few seconds when you first started but no you didn’t hurt me.”

“Get up I need to change the sheets.”

“Um ok.”

“Snickers you bled a little that’s why I was so scared I hurt you.”

“Joe.” I said touching his face. “You didn’t hurt me, I don’t think you ever will Your my best friend and thank you.”

“Always, I always got you Snickers. One day we’ll make sure you never want for nothin.”

“I know you guys say that all the time.”

“Because it’s true we don’t care where you go what you do who you end up with we got you.”

“I know bear I love you guys too.”

“By the way you really are perfect.”

“Joe.”

“You are,”

JON POV

I looked at my twin like he was crazy, I kno he ain’t really just say that. No Fuckin way

“Snickers?” I asked as he nodded “Snickers our snickers? Natasha? Natasha Aiyana Smith?”

“Yes Jon, damn! Who the hell else you think I’d be talkin bout.”

“Not Natasha not our Snickers that’s for sure.” I replied. I was shocked he liked her like for real for real. “You do know Joe hooked up with her right uce?” He immediately got pissed. Face red and all but as my brother my twin I couldn’t not tell him.

“I hooked up with who?” Joe asked coming in with his bag, staying with us and thank god Snickers wasn’t with him.

“What!?” Josh said glaring out our cousin, and tossing his water. “Always.”

“Dang what I do?” He asked

“You hooked up with Natasha!”

“Um yeah like 6 months ago, she wanted me to take her virginity wanted it to be someone special that she trusted and said those options were me or one of you two.”

“Well uce, uce likes her?”

“What?” Joe asked looking at my twin who was pissed. “Since when?”

“For a while, damn why ain’t she come to me?”

“Because y’all joke too much and she quote loves Jon but ain’t trying to hear his mouth cause he’d never shut up and she didn’t wanna ask you cause she has a Fuckin crush on you and ain’t wanna be weird. Besides she’s known me longer and better she’s legit next door.”

“So y’all like dating?”

“No.” He laughed “that’s like my fucking sister.” He looked at Josh before speaking “why ain’t you say anything no one had a clue and I know she don’t. Otherwise I know she’s had asked you shit I even tried talk her into tellin you.”

“I ain’t think she’d like me like that shit uce we grew up together and now I can’t.”

“Why? She thinks we cute you know that so she probably do like you.”

“Well she ain’t gonna do anything now if she did you done hooked up with her.”

“So what we ain’t dating it didn’t work we work better as friends.if you had said something you’d have taken her virginity dumbass cause when she came to me I found out she likes you that’s why she wouldn’t ask you, she didn’t want you saying no and it being weird and she ain’t wanna catch feelings.”

“But you know Tash man hell people been sayin she fucking all us what she gonna hook up with me and then really feel that way uce. You know her she ain’t about to be what everyone says. Snickers ain’t-“

“Tell her or I will.” Joe said.

“Why she-“

“Do it Josh, trust me. She been feelin you uce.”

[queer-reader-07]

Making a Home in the Liminal Space

I grew up catholic. I was born into it, baptized as an infant, first communion in second grade, roughly 8 years in catholic school, and all of it culminated in getting confirmed at age 14. Catholicism was my life, in many ways it was my only constant in life. Schools changed, people came and went, but church was always there. Every Sunday with my family and every Wednesday with my classmates I found myself either in the pews ready to pray or in the choir area ready to play the hand chimes throughout Mass. I went to catechism every Wednesday night for years in elementary school. I attended youth group with my friends. There are still parts of the Bible that I know like the back of my hand.

But then I grew up. I grew up and I realized that I thought girls were pretty in a way that gave me butterflies in my stomach and that I didn’t quite feel like a girl anymore. I grew up and I went through changing labels before I found words like ‘queer’ and ‘trans’ and ‘asexual’ that made me feel at home. And while that home is comforting in so many ways it is also not a home that is compatible with the religion that held me for so long. Catholicism was my life, I was in Church at least twice a week for years of my life. But Catholicism doesn’t leave room for queerness, it doesn’t embrace and hold close what I am. Who I am.

A friend asked me recently if I still I identify as catholic. If I, someone who is now staunchly leftist and proudly and openly queer, aligned with a religion that is so notoriously bigoted and conservative. Easy answer, right? Just say no? How could someone like me ever call themselves a catholic? And good god, I wish it were that simple.

Because, the thing is, I tried to just say no. I tried to say “eh not really,” but it felt so deeply disingenuous. It felt wrong. How do I denounce a faith that was my life for 15 years with a simple “no”? How do I go from staunch catholic to atheist in the blink of an eye? I can’t.

To be honest, I’m not sure where I fall on the spectrum of spirituality and religiosity. It feels like a lie to say I believe in God, but it doesn’t feel anymore honest to say that I don’t believe in God.

I know I believe in love. I believe in the power we as people have to do wonderful and amazing things. I believe in hope’s ability to help one through the darkest of times. I believe in humanity, in the human story. But none of that is mutually exclusive from religion, from Catholicism.

I think, right now, I exist in the liminal space between catholic and atheist. I can’t bring myself to align myself with an institution that doesn’t believe in my right to exist. But I also can’t bring myself to fully denounce the faith that held me for so many years. I can’t bring myself to denounce the faith that was my only real constant for all those years. I haven’t been to Church on my own volition in ages, yet I refuse to take down the rosary adorned crucifix above my bed. I don’t pray all that often anymore and yet I could recite the Our Father without a second thought. I don’t go around professing any faith in God and yet the phrases “good lord” and “for the love of all that is holy” seem to leave my mouth daily. These are the things that make up the liminal space. The not quite prayer, the familiar comfort of a crucifix and rosaries about my bed, the acceptance that I’ll never have a secular vocabulary. It’s weird, it’s contradictory, and yet here I am existing in it.

There is still so much beauty I find in the world that feels like it must be more than mere coincidence. I think a lot about hope. About how it feels so unique to the human condition and I can’t help but wonder why. Did someone, something, endow us with hope? So that we could never cease in our endeavors of discovery and creativity? So that we would not lose sight of a better future? Or, did we just get lucky?

But I don’t think that’s God, necessarily. I don’t know that it’s one being, but I’m not confident it’s no being.

Existing in the liminal space is difficult. Because to be here is to know you can’t ever go back while still grappling with where you’re meant to go now. I hope that one day I find a new home, a home that isn’t built on guilt and shame for merely daring to exist. But for now, I am making a home in the liminal space. I am letting this liminal space hold me in any way it can while I work to figure out what I am outside of the church. And I hope that wherever I go next— whatever space becomes my home after I outgrow the liminal space— I hope it welcomes me with open arms and a warm embrace.

[papaver-decervicatus]

Headcanons- John "Soap" MacTavish

Birthday, July 14th 1996

Early Life

Born in a hospital in Glasgow, but lived in a suburb of Glasgow for most of his life until enlistment

The only outstanding grades he ever got in secondary school were Chemistry and Art, originally took a basic art course as opposed to doing music but went on to take two more and won some low-level awards for portraiture. 

Goalkeeper in football throughout his life, continues to play in army rec leagues

He keeps in touch with the entirety of his old team through a group chat

Parents have been married since they were 18 (David) and 19 (Lorianne), respectively. His father is a bricklayer and his mother worked as a nurse aide until his birth.

Has 6 sisters, and is the 3rd born.

Jessica, 7 Years older, has twins who are currently 8 years old, no spouse

Deborah, 5 years older, married to a guy but no children

Lucy and Patricia, 4 years younger. Twins. Lucy is married and has a newborn, Patricia does not.

Abigail, Gwendolyn, and Elsie, 7 years younger, triplets, no children or spouses. (Yet.)

Was a choirboy at his local Catholic Church until he was kicked from the position for sneaking off to make out with one of the choir girls during mass.

Serial partier and fuckboy in his youth, got his ears pierced by a friend at a party when he was 14. Has a tramp Stamp from his 16th birthday while drunk. Got his SAS tattoo the day he passed selection.

Was arrested at 15 for beating the shit out of Jessica’s children’s father. The father beat Jessica and once Soap figured that out he nearly killed the man. The man fucked off and never came back and therefore charges got dropped

Only Gaz knew about that story until he let it slip while drinking and said “Isn’t that crazy?” Ghost casually responded with “Eh, hasn’t everyone?” completely seriously. Gaz just sort of stood there confused for a moment and decided not to bring it up again.

Ghost actually brought it up to Soap later and instead of a stern talking to like he expected, Ghost said “I always knew you were a good man. Glad to know you were an outstanding lad, too.”

Soap cried about that. Like. Actually teared up at the praise.

He was attacked by a neighborhood dog when he was 7, has never fully gotten over that fear.

Multiples run in both sides of his family, his mother was in a set of triplets and his father is an identical twin. Needless to say, massive family.

General

Avid letter writer and journal keeper, likes to tear out pages of his journal to keep his niece and nephew back home entertained. 

He has a small flat in Glasgow that he pays the triplets to keep tidy while he’s away. Will visit his family frequently when home but does not typically stay the night.

His hobbies include sketching, painting, and football. Makes his own watercolor paints, and roasts his own charcoals. His favorite medium is ballpoint pen, and his favorite subject is portrait. 

Has a terrible habit of chewing the tops off of his ballpoint pens, meaning he always has a few uncapped ones lying around

Price makes him run laps for this, but the only thing stronger than soap's stamina is his need to chew plastic. 

Has a sketchbook dedicated to each member of the 141, portraits, still lifes, likes and dislikes, etc.

Ghost’s is by far the most filled out, he would never admit it though.

Has sketched a ghost's face at least a hundred times, same with his tattoo. Chronic artist about it though, never thinks it’s any good. 

Ghost saw it once. 

He thought it was perfect and had to snuff out the urge to burn it. 

Secretly flustered about how handsome soap draws him. 

“That’s how he sees me? Fuckin’ hell. He thinks I’m hot.” 

Soap, does indeed, think Ghost is hot.

Gaz Gifted him a Christmas Gift in an old Soapbox, thinking it was the funniest thing ever. Since then, Soap only ever gives out people’s birthday and Christmas presents in soap boxes, much to Gaz’s dismay.

The gift was a shitty “Bodice Ripper” novel, signed by the author that Gaz picked up at a flea market. Soap read the thing when he ran out of paper to draw in on a mission and discovered he actually really enjoys the kitsch of them.

Gaz thinks it's funny, Price doesn’t comment, and Ghost fucking hates it.

Soap also has a terrible habit of reading the steamy parts aloud to mess with Ghost who originally started asking him what was going on in the books to try and get a rise out of Soap. Ghost regrets it immensely. 

Has no shame about most things. Owns lingerie, and he will wear lacy thongs in public showers to make others uncomfortable. Absolutely owns a pair of cartoon red-heart-on-white background boxers that he wears

Gets Gaz to pants him during the last day of recruit training while wearing the boxers. Never gets old. 

Has found a way to cheat at every single card game. 

Still never wins. 

Take out of choice is Chinese. Is a good cook but always ends up setting the smoke alarm off, even when not using the oven or stove. 

Is not allowed to use the microwave anymore after… the incident…

Has put all of his body care products into dish soap bottles so it looks to new recruits like he’s using Dawn Dish Detergent as a mouthwash.

Cuts and styles his own hair. 

Social Smoker, his mom, in particular, hates it, he picked up the habit in basic and has never been able to fully quit. Only 1-2 cigs a day, though.

Knows a little bit of Scottish Gaelic, mostly just words and phrases that get tossed around a lot. Couldn’t write it or converse in it, but will quote words/phrases casually

Not as religious anymore, but does still pray.

Would like to get married in a church and have a big family (which could include adoption), and live somewhere in the lowlands once he retires. No plans, as of current. 

Soap's most toxic trait is his pride, nothing gets him angrier faster than being underestimated in any regard and he takes everything personally. Ghost being cold to him? Personal. He is going to befriend him if it's the last thing he does. Graves betrayal? Personal. Johnny will survive in a burning city just to prove to himself that he may be stupid enough to get burned but not weak enough to burn. Not being able to do something perfectly on the first try? Personal. He has a weakness and it is his fault and he will do it until he gets it right. He may be a fighter in every sense of the word, and his pride might get him the win, but there's always a bigger foe- and it's always himself.

Talents, Special Bonds, ETC.

Really good at Caricature drawing, occasionally recruits will commission caricatures from him.

Chronic prankster along with Gaz. The difference is that Gaz either charms his way out of it or avoids getting caught in the first place.  Soap is really obvious and accepts punishment too readily to get out of trouble. 

Price is the hardest on Soap because he sees Soap as a protege, while Soap knows that it is technically positive attention, he is a little bitter that others get away with stuff he just can't

The reason he gets along so well with Ghost is that even though he's naturally abrasively charismatic, he does not ask hard questions. He is very much a "You tell me what you want to tell me and not a thing more, and if that means you tell me nothing, I guess we'll just sit around quietly and that's cool by me" type of guy. He gained that outlook from being the only boy in a household of girls, he is incredibly emotionally intelligent in that way.

Gaz is the best with infants, but Soap is the best with kids. The second a kid is crying, he has already distracted them and they're off playing. He can handle about a dozen children at once with no problem, and therefore he is the best with new recruits.

Mental math talents are off the charts, also has a terribly uncanny ability to look at any object and say "yeah. I will need x amount of C4 for that." And he is always right.