#idk but to me the book is about the horror women face in aging

[steampoweredstrawberry]

Been reading Delicate Condition to keep my mind off everything, mostly because I heard a season of AHS was based off it and I wanted to know if it was as much of a trainwreck.

It's actually a pretty decent thriller. The author's competent at descriptions and finding her character's voice, and for a book about pregnancy, I don't feel like it's shaming people who may not want biological children, or children at all.

I only watched season recaps on the AHS season, but I can tell you that it's missing the major themes of the book, and the casting was atrocious. Emma Roberts was not the choice for the main character at all.

[liesmyth]

my problem with some desperate glory was that I loved all the stuff it was doing quietly, but once it started talking about stuff openly I started rolling my eyes. maybe this is a me problem, but for a book whose politics I agree with, I was getting very tired of "look at this queer-normative universe!" "look the Black girl is underestimated by the white men in charge" stuff. but the creeping horror of the forced pregnancy stuff? the genocide bits? all excellent. so I'm feeling really conflicted on it tbh

you 🤝 me not wanting to be spoon-fed Themes

I think there's a broader discussion to be had here, which is: when you want to write Politically Aware Genre Fiction, sometimes you have to really hit the reader in the face with it, because many readers are primed to ignore Issues if they are subtextual. see also that NK Jemisin thread about "blatant" vs "subtle" approach to discrimination in scifi. I think she makes very valid points! I also think that some of her books personally are not to my taste, because I got the message the first twelve times and then I got bored.

SDC does some of that, repeating so, so many times that there are no high-ranking female officers on Gaea and the population is 95% White. (Exordia, which I'm reading rn, also does that re: US military war crimes, and I'm getting tired of it already 200 pages in). I didn't find the Themes of it all to be THAT grating in SDG but, to me, the main issue is that, by the very nature of the worldbuilding... there just aren't many complex female characters, barring the POV character who's very much A Teenager in a way that makes the story feel very coming of age, and idk. I was not expecting a novel about a bunch of young adults coming together to save their society (in a way that was ultimately maybe a bit anticlimactic) although I really enjoyed all that came beforehand. I think I would have liked the book more if it had ended at like 80% and there had been a time skip sequel, or a different ending sequence.

Also: weirdly enough for as much as I'm bitching and moaning that I wanted more morally grey women, my favourite character was probably Avi. I think that if his Corporal Lin had more space I would have been ALL OVER her.

[bisexualshitwholovesshakespeare]

Ask game

I was tagged by @drakenhert and I am very grateful although I have no idea how this works. Thank you, sweet friend <3

Questions:

Favourite colour: Probably yellow, but not neon. I like canary yellow and colours similar to it. Truly, I just love colours. You should see my wardrobe, it's filled with it.

Last song: Abandon the hospital by Everybody's Worried About Owen. Something about that song makes me go wild. Other recommendations: One October by Dom Fera, Evil Men by The Taxpayers, Ængus, The Prize-Winning Hog by The Toxhards.

Last movie: "Dzień Świra" (Day of the Wacko) dir. Marek Koterski. It can tell you all about Polish people in a satirical and ironic way. I think we all can relate to Adaś, the main character, a middle-aged teacher who is also an amateur writer. He faces the everyday life with difficulty, but who doesn't?

Currently watching: I don't have time to watch anything right now, but I watched Shadow and Bone like two weeks ago. Does that count?

Other stuff watched this year: The World Without End (great medieval drama, highly recommend), Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (horror, not that scary but fascinating), The Nevers (science-fiction, my favourite show of all time, women <3), Dark Tourist (documentary, a guy visits quirky places)

Show i dropped this year: The Good Doctor. I was just too sad watching it.

Currently reading: Ulysses Moore #6 (idk the title in English). A really nice comeback to my childhood. Nostalgia and all that stuff. What I was surprised by is that even though I am not a child anymore, the language of the book is not boring at all.

Currently listening to: At this moment right now, Dirty Imbecile by The Happy Fits. But in general it varies, from Midwest emo to Pitbull, so that's not a good question.

Currently working on: My first ff. I am obsessed with it and since June, I have written more than 60k words. Although, I don't think anyone would be interested in reading it because, as my cousin and one of my friends said "The fandom has 7 people, you are one of them, three are your friends, two are actors who played in the show, and one is some mysterious person who is there for some unknown reason." If anybody's interested, I can send a link, but i don't know if you'll get it without watching the show (or more like truly get it).

Current obsession: The Nevers. This is my Roman Empire. I think of that show 24/7 and I will think of it until the day that I die. Just please go watch it, it's really good. Even better the second time because you get some new references.

Thank you all for reading this. It was really fun to do. I will tag few people but feel free to do it if you want to.

@1-lamentis

@ichesserosinen

@choklitfroggie

@kickedbucket

@justanerd

@vincentvixen

You guys don't have to do this, but I just know you see my blog from time to time, so if you want to do this, I would be honoured to find out something about you

[carcassontheshore]

Nana Analysis: How the ambiguous portrayal of Shin and Reira’s relationship tricks us into thinking it’s a love story while it’s undertones tells a cautionary tale.

Disclaimer: Talks about sex, pedoplhiles, prostitution and suicide. None of the topics are too explicit. Viewers under 10 shouldn’t read. But this meta is cautionary. So, minors can read.

First of all, for all the anime watchers here, I am going to limit this meta only upto the anime because I want to warn and I don’t want minors to skip this just so they don’t get spoilers about the manga. This is important, trust me.

This meta is not to attack Ai sensei regarding her writing style. I think her style is beautifully mysterious. Not gonna lie, when I first saw the anime, I thought Shin x Reira was lovely. But I was horribly wrong.

I will mention the inspirations for this meta to properly portray the psychology behind the characters. First comes the book, Lolita. This book is famous for the portrayal of a pedophile’s mindset. In the book/movie, Humbert, the protagonist and pedophile, thinks that Lolita, the young girl and his step-daughter, is in love with him as well as sexually interested in him. The horrifying part is that, we never get to know about the girl’s point of view, how subconsciously or consciously horrified she is. Thus, we get to see the horror story as a love story instead. Humbert has no idea about the girl's thoughts and therefore, he romanticizes everything she does.

The second inspiration is Lana Del Ray’s controversial song of the same name, Lolita. While people think she romanticized pedophilic relationships in the song, I personally think she fills the gap of the book, which is Dolores or Lolita’s point of view. In the song, it is strongly hinted that she is trying to justify her actions. She is trying to make herself think that whatever she and Humbert has is ‘LOVE’. Mark the word ‘trying’. That’s how our brain works. It tricks us into thinking a certain way so that our conscience and body can survive. Most of the time, this way of thinking is produced through subliminal messages sent from our subconscious mind.

Let me include a personal experience in the brackets, skip if you want to. (I don’t consider myself as a sexual abuse victim. But I will try to portray my mindset about my experiences as an early bloomer to make you understand better. When I was 10, I already had a rather mature body, like a woman. But somehow, it was always obvious that I was a child. But that didn’t stop men from harassing me or seniors from showing interest in me. It disturbed me so much that sometimes, I wished to die. However, by the time I was 11, I had convinced myself that it was normal for a girl ‘like me’ to face that. When my conscience got the best of me, I blamed my body. But idk what I meant by a girl ‘like me’. Maybe I thought of myself as mature or dirty. But whatever I thought, it prevented me from dying or killing myself. This is what Dolores tries to do.)

MAIN META STARTS HERE:

Shin is a prostitute who was very much deprived of love as a child. He is only 15. Ryoko got him into prostitution. He is hinted to search for love through sex. It’s complicated. He doesn’t think of sex as anything but a game or business. For him, he gets in bed only after being paid and he can get others in bed if he pays. But his way of proposing to Reira was as messed up. He thought it was  true love just because money wasn’t involved. On the other hand, while explaining to Nobu why he continued being a prostitute, he hinted that he wanted to help lonely women to cope. It is to be noticed that Shin talks in a rather philosophical way almost all the time. While it is beautiful to us, it’s a way for him to convince himself that the things he does are justified. If you notice, he was trying to convince himself that he wanted to help those women. The same can be noticed in the car scene with Reira. He said, “What a teenager boy like me wants is not very different from what we already do (sex)”. Same as before, he was trying to convince himself that since he was a teenager, he wanted sex. It is obvious that he wasn’t sure cuz otherwise, he would have stated what he, as an individual, wanted. It is to be noticed that this happens after Reira refuses to talk to him about her situation and problems. Shin clearly stated that ‘he’ wanted to talk to her wholeheartedly. This is something he said in first person unlike the other sentence. Shin think he is in love with Reira which could be true but that isn’t the problem. The problem is all the things he does to cope with reality. His true feeling are rather a mystery considering his point of view is always indirect that is written in such a way that it makes us feel that what he says, he feels as well. Just like the song, Lolita.

Now, let us come to Reira’s point of view. It is to be noticed that she indeed had problems with Shin and her age gaps, 7 years, and Shin being a minor. This is expressed in the car scene as well. However, she mistook their age gap being 8 years until Shin corrects her. She, through Shin’s words, tries to justify this. She basically thought to herself that it’s almost ok to be in this relationship since it is 1 year less than what she initially thought. (This is something everyone does regarding any matter that includes numbers). Even she tries to convince herself that she loves Shin. Because she is unable to absorb the fact that Shin is just a replacement for Takumi. She knows this. Because she, herself, wasn’t ok with being a discardable person at first. ( The manga takes a different route. She is ok with being unimportant later on unlike anime.) On the other hand, in the car scene, she was ok with doing it with Shin cuz she didn’t knew what Shin was thinking. Just like Humbert in the book where he doesn’t know what Dolores is thinking. Both of them think that the minors are enjoying the time as much as they are. While both of the minors try to convince themselves that what they are doing are normal for people ‘like them’.

This is it. Even though unlike Humbert, Reira had a moral compass, this doesn’t justify anything at all. Just like, just because Shin is a prostitute, unlike Dolores, it neither justifies his actions nor does it make him any less of a victim.

[abri-chan]

great blog btw, weird question but I think your the best to answer it maybe, what is the deal with Gio's age,he is 15 during Vento but a lot of girls I know who are Jojo fans(mostly manga based ones if that makes a difference) are absolutely horny for him and get angry when I bring up him being 15 during Vento or say well in current day he would be legal now so it doesnt matter or he is drawn older looking, but they are still kinda lusting after him at 15, what are you thoughts on this?

If I remember correctly Giorno does look younger in the way, and everyone is kinda twinkier in it than in the anime, but by the end of the manga he looks a lot like Dio in part 6. Especially that panel where he’s holding the arrow after defeating Diavolo I think?

I think this is not an easy ask to answer, because there are several things to consider.

The important thing is that it’s okay to you feel uncomfortable with them lusting after Giorno. You don’t need an excuse to be uncomfortable and if you feel something is not right, it’s okay to express your dislike or disagreement. I know there has been a lot of pushback against antis but I want to reiterate that being uncomfortable with certain things doesn’t make you an anti. The word is unfortunate because you can be against age-up content (and although I am fine with aged-up, I respect your right to be uncomfortable), but that doesn’t make you an anti in the fandom sense. In the fandom sense of the word, an anti is someone that not only dislikes certain content or wishes the content didn’t exist, but they actively go and harass real people over fictional content. The second part is the critical ingredient to make an anti. As long as you don’t harass others over what they like or dislike, it’s your right to speak against certain content or avoid it.

I understand your discomfort, because I cannot say that fiction never affects reality. I know antis love to use this argument, and the problem is they’re not even wrong. The issue is that they take the relationship between the two to be very simple, when in fact there are academic books and papers dedicated to exploring the relationship. Some things can have a direct and easily measurable correlation: for example diverse fiction representation affects marginalized groups positively. Also the way women are portrayed in the media has a direct effect on how men can view women IRL. But it gets complicated because we have to consider who controls the mainstream narrative: for example pornhub will have more effect on normalizing incest than jonadio fanfiction. Then you also have to consider the purpose of a piece of work or media. For example, I believe writers should be allowed to explore certain topics for the sake of exploring, just as artists can do with colors. So are dead-dove topics used by a writer to explore, cope, instant gratification, shock, pushback? How much power does this writer truly have with regards to their position ins society?

Then there are times where fiction doesn’t really translate into reality: for example, are horror writers out there murdering people? Is thinking of a murder the same as murdering someone irl, is murdering someone in the fiction the same as murder irl? We can get violent and inhibited in videogames bc we know there are not real consequences; but wouldn’t IRL because we know you can’t just hurt someone and reset the game. So while fiction affects reality, and reality affect fictions, it’s not always easy to measure how, and it’s not always linear. Also why banning all taboos or trying to police what people like is doomed to fail bc it takes a very simplistic view on human imagination or psychology.

Returning to Giorno being 15 in the series, the aged-up argument is the easiest one to defend IMO, and one I don’t get why people have problems with. We have aged-up examples of characters in JoJo: Jonathan, Jotaro, and so on. If someone can imagine adult Giorno (and I’ve seen some amazing art of Don Giovanna), they are not lusting after a child... Despite what his canon age is, you can’t argue they’re pedophiles bc they are clearly into an art piece that depicts him as adult. Why would someone think of adult Giorno when seeing teen Giorno? Idk why is Araki concerned with making a handsome man out of teen Jotaro (his words, he’s actually very particular about his characters being attractive)? We have to measure the mangaka and the fans by the same ruler, else we are hypocrites. Sometimes imagination takes you there... but once you see adult Giorno, it’s adult Giorno.

Another thing is that in the anime, and later parts of the manga, the characters do act and look older than their canon age. If no one told me what the ages where in Vento, I’d think the teens were young adults, and the adults were late 20s, early 30s. So while Araki slapped an age onto them; as a viewer it’s hard to detach your experience of seeing characters that look and act like adults from some number that seems to have no grounding in the world. I read somewhere that age in manga is used a lot for marketing: if it’s published in shonen jump and it will be mostly teens reading, you slap a teen age on the characters. But maybe as adults, mangakas have a hard time to imagine actual teens (it’s hard to actually write good children characters, and I suppose it’s hard to write teens too). So they end up with adults, but have to somewhat label the characters as teens to get teenagers to read the story. Let’s take someone that we can all agree looks adult, Risotto. Imagine someone told you that’s a 14 year old boy. You have this abstract information of age, but your eyes tell you that is the face and body of a grown man. So what will be easier to process for your brain?

Sure IRL if you knew Giorno was 15 but he looked adult, you clearly don’t get involved. But since this is fiction, it is possible to detach the concept of Giorno acting and looking like an adult from his actual age, because there are no consequences. The age is very abstract in this case... and I feel that’s why some of these fans are doing. They see someone that acts and looks adult, and it’s silly to claim they are 15, because it doesn’t add up. The reverse is when mainstream anime draws lolis and calls them 100 years old adults... you feel uncomfortable bc even though you are given an age, the visceral aspect it’s that of a child...

Now if these fans really lusted for someone that looks 15, that’s another question. And it’s not the same as people writing underage content... bc we have to consider how it fits within the narrative (anyone remember Game of Thrones?).

[chaoticoconut]

BARBARA GORDON HEADCANONS THAT MAKE ME SWOON!!

(and so can you!! alfkvoekfndnej does anyone get that reference anyhoo)

I couldn't NOT post these idk I was showering and then I was hit with a mf tornado of hcs about my favorite gal and I figured I'd share :))))

Barbara and Tim are actually the most potty mouthed members of the batfam, excluding Kate. Jason is close, but only when he's upset (which probably seems trivial bc he's yk always upset but I hc him a pretty chill if not bitter and snarky guy). Tim cusses more when he's tired, but he consciously tries to bite his tongue. Barbara has no remorse and cusses very casually and openly, because she sees no point in abstaining. It releases endorphins guys. Duh. She uses those ridiculous "holy heck Batman!" lines as Batgirl unless she's genuinely thrown off her game. She limits her cussing a lot as Oracle bc she's not one to offend people, and you never know. It's most definitely a civilian thing for her, and anyone who knows Babs knows she's a fucking sailor.

Her favorite food of all time is pizza. Her dream house has a brick pizza oven. She has a food blog with every pizzeria in the greater Gotham area ranked from best to worst. Her favorite of all time is the Gotham Pizza Garden, which is located in Old Gotham near the police station. Technically it's the second best pizza in Gotham, second to Gargoyle Pie Company, which is renowned for being the epitome of Gotham-style pizza and is always busy. She has a lot of memories of GPG though, and loves both pies. GPG also has an incredible Chicago style pizza, which is her second favorite type of pizza. She does however believe Gotham style is superior and thinks less of Dick for disagreeing (@blanddcheadcanons tie-in heyo!!) Very few things make Babs as happy as gourmet pizza.

She grew up watching Teenage Mutant Turtles, Powerpuff Girls, and Star Trek. They all hold a very special place in her heart. There is totally a connection between her love of pizza and TMNT and turtles and mixed martial arts. She once got the boys to go as the turtles for Halloween, with her crushing it as April.

Speaking of turtles, she's had a pet turtle named after icon Nichelle Nichols since high school. Yes, she does call her Shelly. Yes it's cliche. No she does not care. She also has a calico cat named Cornflake that Dick gave her as a birthday present. She doesn't have pet dogs until she and Dick finally settle down. She never had them growing up because her father is allergic and her mother was a devout cat lady. She's not really sure why she never got any on her own, she's just more familiar with cats. After her mom passed away, she did get a bunch of bunnies whom she and JJ named after their favorite horror movie monsters and serial killers.

She loves slasher flicks. It's a family thing. JJ was creepy about it, Jim loves the thrill, Babs loves the mythos, and her mom was never really afraid of anything and found them funny.

She inherited her mother's love for baking. She left her her cookbook, which contains an amazing mixed berry pie recipe. Her pie baking abilities rival Alfred's. She even begins to branch out with her recipes and experiment with all sorts of fillings and even cake-pies (fanfic au tie-in heyo). Everybody loves a Barbara baked good. She knows everyone's faves and literally crushes holiday season. Dick is all about the og mixed berry pie, whereas Jay, who loves lemon everything (hc I saw awhile ago that I just love) prefers either a lemon meringue or a raspberry lemon. Tim is all about strawberry open face while Steph prefers cherry cheesecake or pecan pie. Cass and Bruce both love her cinnamon apple pie. Duke loves just about anything she bakes, but especially her more adventurous, contest winning pies like kiwi-blueberry-black cherry and other originals. Kate will die for Babs' cherry pie. Damian prefers blackberry or mixed like Dick. Alfred is a sweet potato pie kind of guy himself. There's a farmer's market in Blüdhaven her mother went with her to when she was a kid that Barbara still goes to get get all the fresh fruit.

Even better than Barbara or Alfred baking alone is them baking together. Roy Harper is also a pretty good baker. They all trade recipes with Martha Kent. M'gann brings wine to the manor and assembles them all for fun days of baking.

She's also totally the type of gal who made a shit ton of cupcakes when she ran for class prez and stayed I from Batgirl duties to finish them. Just saying.

She picks baking back up as Oracle but several hero emergencies lead her to burn perfectly good desserts.

She and Roy will always have puppy-love crushes on one another and be totally oblivious. They both did ballet as kids, love baking, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, shameless empty flirting, and tech. They're completely platonic and really great lifelong friends. They met at a Wayne gala as kids.

As if she wasn't already talented enough, she's completely ambidextrous. I'm jealous. Dick and Wally are left handed. Bruce is similarly ambi. Selina's a leftie. Maybe Alfred too.

She likes to enter contests and win for fun. She's a monster. Everything from baking to video games to weight lifting, she loves showing people up.

Dick, Babs, and Tim all snore atrociously loud. The batfam hates it. She's the quietest out of them all, but she's also a blanket hog. And a major cuddler.

Her favorite colors are grey and green. Purple does deserve an honorable mention however. Her apartment is a fair mix of green and grey decor and covered in books.

She was a total ballerina growing up, just like her mom wanted. That was until she discovered how kick ass martial arts were, and she got a little too jacked to continue with ballet as a formidable career option. Her next best option is becoming a cop at this point, but her father believes that not only would it be far too dangerous but a waste of her skills (like ballet cough cough). This upsets her so much she goes off and invents Batgirl, complete with a stole grappling gun from evidence.

In college she works as a barista and excels at it. Her dream is to open up a cafe/bakery/flower shop with Dinah some day. She wants to call her half Bean Me Up Scotty! (another hc I saw and fell in love with)

Babs is also a pretty good cook being that she became the family chef at a young age (Jim can barbeque and make spaghetti. That's literally it. Maybe some breakfast). Cooking lessons from Alfred certainly helped.

Her personality is so versatile. She can get along with pretty much anyone due to her wide range of interests and skills which is what makes Oracle so bad ass. She's also a Libra so she adapts fairly easily to any group without seeming fake.

She has a podcast where she rants about tech and feminism and politics and plays video games

She SO took Latin in high school and dominated competitions. She loves classical studies and is a dork for Greek and Roman mythology as well as linguistics. She has a pretty good grasp on all of the romance languages, and learns languages fairly quickly.

She always smells like mint and books. She has killer mint shampoo and conditioner, which is a Kean family thing (they just love the scent). She always smells refreshing.

She likes coffee but prefers tea always. She's like Ramona Flowers with tea

Her music taste is total 90s nostalgia (grunge, boybands, air pop, ska, hip hop) meets far too indie 4 u. Yes she's pretentious. Yes she loves chick rock and *NSYNC and Britney and Kurt Cobain and Biggie and deal with it. She also loves shit you've never even heard of. Was totally into the Gotham punk scene as a teen.

She collects vinyl and books and horror flicks ugh hipster queen

She loves spicy food and Dick cannot stand it. They both like sour candy though

If your Barbara Gordon didn't graduate high school at 16 she doesn't have rights

She was all of the Robin's first crush. Duh. Tim will always think she's the gold standard of women. He likes that she usually sticks up for him. He doesn't mind being seen as her male equivalent lmao

At some point Jay and Babs are roommates and it's literally the best I'll talk abt that later

Her type is guys with dark hair or blonde gals.

[fair-fae]

Never-Ending Survey: Faye Covington

Rules: Repost, do not reblog, tag 10 blogs!   Tagged by: @kodie-ffxiv, @lukelxiv, @illia-ast, @lavender-hemlock, and @captainkurosolaire Thank you all for tagging!! Tagging: @an-honest-waltz, @resistance-ranger, @under-the-blood-moonlight, @duskspeakers, @hangedemperor, @littlestcreampuff, @wayward-soul-ffxiv, @darkamaya, @sakuyamori, @paleshadeofrose​

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Faye Covington

NICKNAME: "Princess” if you’re @its-the-val-pal

AGE: 30

BIRTHDAY: 14th Sun of the 1st Astral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Hyur Midlander/Garlean

NATIONALITY: Gridanian

LANGUAGE/S: Eorzean, some Ishgardian

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteromatic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Bonded

HOME TOWN / AREA: The East Shroud

CURRENT HOME: The Lavender Beds

PROFESSION: Teahouse owner, information broker & private investigator

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Platinum blonde/white, long, curly

EYES: Pale blue, hints of violet/red/pink

FACE: Soft, feminine, attractive

LIPS: Full, light pink, glossy

COMPLEXION: Pale, smooth, unblemished

BLEMISHES: None

SCARS: Scar along her left wrist where her skin meets the Magitek prosthetic

TATTOOS: None

HEIGHT: 5′8″

WEIGHT: 135 ponze

BUILD: Slender, soft, curvy, tall, hourglass shape

FEATURES: Plush lips, keen eyes, sly smile, good posture, Magitek left hand

ALLERGIES: None

USUAL HAIR STYLE: Long, well groomed, curly, neat, loose

USUAL FACE LOOK: Polished, subtle makeup, calm, friendly

USUAL CLOTHING: Long dress or skirt, gloves, boots, jewelry, lace, expensive fabrics, formal attire, stockings, little skin showing

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Failure, weakness, dismemberment

ASPIRATION/S: Fame, wealth, success, happiness, a family, Garlean extermination, and good ol’ world domination

POSITIVE TRAITS: Polite, intelligent, patient, friendly, confident, ambitious, calm, rational, educated, curious, cunning, quick-witted, charming, eloquent

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Power-hungry, nosy, self-righteous, uppity, proud, posh, cruel, vengeful, manipulative, deceptive, callous, distant, distrustful, spiteful

TEMPERAMENT: Choleric MBTI: ENTJ

SOUL TYPE/S: The King

ANIMALS: Fox, swan

VICE HABIT/S: Tea addiction duh

FAITH: None

GHOSTS?: Yes

AFTERLIFE?: Unsure

REINCARNATION?: No ALIENS?: Unsure

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: None

EDUCATION LEVEL: Well-educated

FAMILY.

FATHER : Deceased

MOTHERS : Deceased

SIBLINGS : No full-blooded siblings, adopted brother deceased, several half-brothers

EXTENDED FAMILY: None of note

NAME MEANING/S: “Faye” meaning “fairy”

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None

FAVORITES.

BOOK: None; she enjoys reading, but has no particular favorite

DEITY: Nophica

HOLIDAY: Starlight

MONTH: First Astral Moon

SEASON: Winter

PLACE: Her teahouse

WEATHER: Clear, temperate

SOUND / S: Music, conversation, wind rustling through leaves, running water

SCENT / S: Tea, roses, vanilla

TASTE / S: Tea, wine, sweets, savory

FEEL / S: Silky, velvety, smooth, soft

ANIMAL / S: Checkers the dog. Only Checkers the dog.

NUMBER: 1

COLORS: White, pink, blue, lavender, red, gold

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Conjury/magic, teamaking, sewing, persuasion, management, spying, manipulation, business

BAD AT: Cooking, physical labor, physical combat

TURN ONS: Ambition, strength, cunning, intelligence, good looks, physical fitness, confidence, respect, affection, CUTE CATBOY EARS, badass scars, loyalty, endearing stupidity, dominance, education, good manners, chiseled abs glistening with blood sweat and dirt

TURN OFFS: Rudeness, disrespect, bad hygiene, helplessness, flakiness, insecurity, shyness, meekness, immaturity, laziness, lack of motivation, indecisiveness, promiscuity, dishonesty, smarminess, incompetence, whining, needy, clingy, smothering

HOBBIES: Socializing, hosting, tea-making, sewing, reading, learning new things, practicing magicks, fashion, shopping, writing, sketching, music

TROPES: A lot that surely fit her, but none in particular that I’m intentionally aiming for

QUOTES : “Manners!”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?       A1: Idk what it be called but it would be a gothic horror Victorian period film full of beautiful costumes and sets, vampires, and intrigue.

Q2: What would their soundtrack/score sound like?           A2: ANGRY VIOLINS Q3:  Why did you start writing this character?         A3: I’ve had some concept of this character since I was like... a kid, so I couldn’t really tell ya. She’s slowly evolved and had several iterations since then. This version I started writing just ‘cause I wanted to RP in this game and needed to pick one of my characters who could competently lead an FC since that was something I decided I wanted to do. Q4: What first attracted you to this character?         A4: Want be pretty lady. Want be cool and sassy and evil. Want wear fancy dresses. Want be vampire and take over the world. Q5: Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5: I don’t particularly dislike anything, I guess the closest I could say is we’re so different personality-wise that sometimes it can be challenging or draining to portray her as faithfully as I would like to write her Q6: What do you have in common with your muse?           A6: Ummm we’re both long-haired married white women in our 20′s - 30′s who were born in a kinda rural wooded place with no full-blooded siblings, some daddy issues, an overbearing mother, and a passion for catboys (or in her case just one, I guess) who don’t do casual sex, are into feminine things, enjoy pastels and tea (mostly just sweet iced tea for me though tbh), and are a lil sassy?? There’s not a ton of overlap tbh. Q7: How does your muse feel about you?         A7: She’s a fictional character soooo she doesn’t. Assuming I’m an all-powerful entity controlling every aspect of her life, she’d probably not be too fond! Q8: What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?       A8: Any character played by someone who gives me good material to work with, provides interesting hooks, writes something engaging, plays off me/my character, offers an actual interest in my character, or in general makes RP fun and has chemistry in our RP. The type of character doesn’t really matter; the interactions can be fun whether they’re making friends, butting heads, or doing something wild as long as the person writing is feeling it and doing their part. Q9: What gives you inspiration to write your muse?     A9: Life, movies/TV, anime/manga, video games, books, music, other RPers. A bit of everything. Q10 : How long did this take you to complete?   A10 : About two hours of intense multi-tasking and distractions

[athenadcvell]

Spoiler Free Review of Joker

Okay, so first off, I promise, there will be zero spoilers. I might post a review with a shit ton of spoiler warnings later on, but idk, maybe not. The reason I wanted to do a spoiler free review was because of how controversial this movie is, and I just want to address that to anyone who has doubts about seeing it. I know most reviews out there just either praise of trash Joaquin Phoenix’s acting, so here’s one that I hope satisfies people’s curiosity about the political point of view of this movie. 

But before I dive into any of that, I wanna take a moment to talk about the actual movie. For starters, one thing you need to know above all else, is that this movie was brilliantly made. I honest to God think Joaquin Phoenix deserves an Oscar for this movie. Watching him didn’t feel like watching an actor portray a character on screen. It felt like I was watching the life of this mentally unstable man unfold on film, and just that thought gives me goosebumps. Going into Joker, I had my doubts. Would he live up to Heath Ledger? Would he be just another weird variation (ig. ‘Gangster Joker’)? Would giving Joker a backstory take away from him as a villain? However, as soon as the movie began, I forgot about all those questions. The Joker on his own is a horrifying and bone chilling character, and I think a big part of him being such a creepy villain is how little we know about him. One of the big questions of DC comics is: Who is the Joker? That being said, when Joker is given a backstory, and he is given a name and life, only for it all to slowly unfold to show his true colors... he becomes ten times more unsettling than before. 

Now, moving on to the political view of this. As I said, this portrayal of Joker was very creepy, and I think I know why. It hits all too close to home. Mentally unstable white male who uses his illness as justification for murdering innocent people. In our modern day and age, we see this story come to life far too many times. Not to mention seven years ago, a man walked into a theater and felt that he had the right to take the lives of 12 people. I’m not going to lie, I felt slightly unconformable the entire movie. I live in a city that the most dangerous thing that has happened is a robbery where somebody got beat up, but I still was scared that someone was going to come in and do something irrational. The entire movie I had so much anxiety that I had to mentally note every person that was going in and out of the theater (to go the bathroom or get food) so I could know when a foreign face popped up. In the end, I left the theater safely, and went home without any odd incident occurring. So if you know you’re someone who will not be able to watch the movie without constant anxiety and fear, I would recommend waiting until the DVD comes out. I don’t personally think the movie itself has hugely triggering moments, however, as all violent movies do, there are some that I suppose could trigger a panic attack, so be mindful. However, all that being said, I don’t think you can make a Joker backstory movie without having unsettling moments. The Joker is not a light hearted character. Jared Leto’s Joker was basically portrayed as some Crime Lord/Mafia Boss, and I think that’s what a lot of people expected Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker to be, but that’s not the case. Joker is not a light hearted character that anybody should be a fan of. In the comics, he murders people relentlessly, has killed multiple children, raped multiple women, and not to mention the whole crazy killer clown trope isn’t just a quirky personality trait. Making a movie about him was always going to controversial, but in order to make it accurate, in order to get one of the most famous comic book villains on screen, you have to add in the qualities that make you puke a little in your mouth, because it’s only accurate. 

All in all, I liked the movie a lot. I think it may be one of the best DC movies to come out in a really long time, and I’m looking forward to seeing what other plans they have in the future. No one should feel scared and anxious to watch a movie, even if it’s a horror film. You should feel excitement and a rush of adrenaline. If you’re really that scared to watch Joker, simply don’t watch it. And be careful out there, because sadly, crazy people exist everywhere, and I can only pray that no one sees this movie and decides to use it as some justification for their own psychopathic agenda. 

[janiedean]

(sorry I didn’t want that person to search for themselves and find this reply xD I can’t with discourse rn)

... that the OP hasn’t read a single king book nor actually watched a single tarantino movie because nah tarantino doesn’t singlehandedly control anything and he made NINE movies and if everyone copied him maybe we’d have better films around because technically he’s better than 90% of the ppl in american cinema regardless of what you think of him as a person, re king:

if you read lisey’s story or any king book with a female POV and you still think he hates women sorry but what the fuck, also while carrie white is no brienne when it comes to that rep I can 100% assure OP that carrie was the closest I came to Shitty Experiences Re How You Look In Literature until I read asoiaf and that’s saying all

half of the books he wrote where he had an obvious self-insert happened when he was using/drinking/obviously needing to cope with stuff and OP obv. hasn’t read the dark half but I’ve got news for them, his stand-in never comes out of it looking good or like the hero of the story

I went to elementary school with people who swore and used slurs all the time which makes that entire point about the slurs moot because it’s realistic dialogue not wanting to use slurs, and half of the stuff they classify as such was not when he wrote those books IN THE 70s/80s learn some context pls also if the villain uses them guess what IT’S THE VILLAIN HE MAKES THE VILLAIN AN ASSHOLE WHO USES SLURS pls it’s so weak I can’t even

everyone and their pals has written about tarantino’s fetishes and same re king but I mean it’s fucking horror books, what the fuck do you expect? stuff that’s not weird? I thought that was what I was signing up for

king is hardly the only horror writer around and if he’s successful it’s bc he’s better at it than most people obviously, so OP can wonder why (hint: maybe he actually can write, more on that later) instead of complaining that he somehow controls a genre when all he’s done is publish books that people buy

also: king has a lot of things I don’t particularly like about his approach ie that his endings suck on a rate of three on five depending on the book’s length (the longer it is the higher is the risk it sucks which is why he’s that good at short stories), he has a really serious problem with that trope where the protagonists forget the whole story which is2g it’s one of my major pet peeves and I’ve cursed him for years for that, sometimes he forgets coherency within the plot is a thing and sometimes he writes about stuff I don’t care for in theory but guess what, other than the fact that he made me care for that stuff (guys if you told me I’d ever gaf about a plot like cujo’s when I was thirteen I’d have laughed in your face and when I read it I couldn’t put it down, it means it’s good), the thing is: king is the best writer I ever read when it comes not just to character work but to make you feel like you’re 100% with that person even if you don’t like them particularly which guess what is exactly the main thing I want in a book. like guys I read the body when I was fourteen and that sent me into the king spiral but at that age I had never ran across a piece that described so well exactly how I felt when I was twelve (and I remembered even too much thanks) and guess what I was projecting like hell on the pov..... WHO IS THE PSEUDO-STAND IN THAT THE OP COMPLAINS ABOUT bc he’s a writer when he grows up (and I wanted to be one - still do for that matter) and it didn’t matter that it was king putting himself partially into the story, because he was good enough at it that it really spoke to me down to my damned molecules, and I’m 100% sure that most people who read king and find him so enjoyable/the reason why he sells all the books he sells is that he gets people and it makes you see yourself in most of his characters or if not he gets you to be with them and he drops on you some seriously amazingly written truth bombs every other moment, and guess what I think that what I have in common with king is music taste, politics and very partial literary taste. the end. we’d probably wildly disagree on a hell of a lot of things including how good was shining as an adaptation and/or how much hp is actually a good book, but I didn’t need to have shit in common with him except maybe wanting to do the same job to read that damned short story and feel like he had looked right inside my damned brain.

and I’m a woman, but nvm. also lisey’s story was one of the best female povs I’ve ever read in my entire life hands down and king has a long-ass list of amazingly well-written and conceived female characters that he certainly doesn’t hate, so my opinion about that post is that op sorely needs to read a king book from start to finish without prejudices. and they also need to realize that if you watch a tarantino movie you know it’s him in the first five minutes and no one else could shoot any of his movies the way he does, which is the trademark of actually having a personality as a director and a personal style.

also idk how the hell they think tarantino self-inserts in his movies without dying because the one time he actively acted in one of them he died before the first twenty minutes but I’m done trying to discuss anything on this hellhole of a website when people obviously talk without knowing the material they’re discussing and that’s my tea.

(ps: this is not about the personal issues one might have with tarantino after the whole weinstein scandal got down and fyi the way it went really lowered my opinion of the guy as a person, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make good movies, because guess what art =/= artist and I’d like to keep the discussion separate. anyway they don’t have near the same personality and king spends his time posting pictures of his corgi on twitter never mind that anything terrible you could say about him was valid for the time when he was an alcoholic/using and he’s been dragging himself about it in his own books since forever and now he’s been sober for years and I really don’t think it’s the case to blame addicts for being addicted especially when they come from his background so can we really fucking not go there, thanks.)

[bpdanakins]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people

I was tagged by the dear @gffa who clearly enjoys making these lists and seeing everyone else also struggling with just choosing ten. It’s hard but I shall do my best sdfk <3

1. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider Okay, let’s just get it out: I prefer reboot!Lara. idk I know some people think she sucks and the games suck for whatever reason, but I found the games and their mechanics super fun, and Lara’s story really compelling. She was a young girl who was determined to make her own way in the world, and instead went through something extremely traumatizing. She kept pushing through, kept getting back up no matter what the world threw at her. She went on this clear journey that was compelling and fun and messy. She wasn’t perfect. She pushed people away, she fucked the world up because she was determined to find the answers she felt would make all she went through make sense. Her survivor’s guilt was present really well in RotTR but most especially in SotTR. People were dying but she was so focused on finishing her personal mission. She was numb to it despite the fact it still horrified her. And her arc ended well. She finally was able to reach a place where she was able to let go of her losses and try to join society again. And I’m gay for her. So, you know.

2. Senua - Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice I cannot recommend this game enough. It’s tough to play bc it’s not just a horror game but you feel a lot of Senua’s anxiety, which is part of the point to the game. Senua’s a Celtic warrior who suffers from psychosis, and the game devs worked directly with both professionals and those who experience psychosis. There’s a whole mini doc to it which is great, even if you can’t stomach horror. You’re in Senua’s head with her throughout the game. You see what she sees, you hear all she hears, and she talks to you directly at times. But the beauty of the game is Senua’s true journey. She goes on a quest to try to rescue a loved one she lost to Vikings, but the real story is about a girl realizing she’s not a monster for seeing the world differently. That the abuse and ableism she faced weren’t her fault at all. There’s so many little things I can point to in this game that just made me so emotional, and it’s such a beautiful and necessary story to tell. Senua is great and deserves a hug.

3. Anakin Skywalker - Star Wars If you asked me at what point in my life Anakin became one of my favourite characters, to the point I frequently talked about him even on my main blog at random intervals, I couldn’t tell you. I haven’t the faintest idea; he just was. And if you asked me why he was a fave early on, I also couldn’t tell you lmao. It might partially be that I grew up on the prequels, and maybe at such a young age I didn’t really grasp at first that this was a story about a guy who was already revealed to be a villain, but I haven’t the faintest clue. He just is now, and I’m so passionate about his story. He’s complex and difficult and written so well. You want him to be happy, you feel heartbroken seeing a good character fall so deep, and you want to smack him upside the head a whole lot. You laugh at his silly dialogue (which he has as Vader too smh), you cry when you see him struggling, you become horrified by his actions. His story’s also a great inversion of the Chosen One trope - whereas usually we see Chosen Ones struggle, become imperfect and undoubtedly traumatized, they remain heroes the whole time. Anakin doesn’t. He becomes the bad guy, one of the worst in the series (Palps takes the award tho). But even then, when you think this guy has nothing to offer but an intimidating villain, he’s shown to have good. And then we see how much good he had all along, the good he forgot and was punished for and hated himself for. His heart that had good intentions but he chose the worst actions. He’s complicated and I love him. And more over, I love how many people who struggle or have mental illness can relate to him. I love that he wasn’t treated as a guy whose actions were glorified, but that were honest in both the good ones and the bad ones. Anyone can fall, and anyone can get back up, if they choose to. I just. Love him. He means a lot.

4. Commander Shepard - Mass Effect I know that Shep is technically the player’s character and can be any combination of person, but anyone who’s played Mass Effect would get why they were put here. The original trilogy for Mass Effect touched on so many things, and was a really emotional one. You had your great moments with friends, you had your struggles against both unknown horrors, and horrors close to home (so to speak). There are so many small moments that stick out to you, and idk how many people can say that playing this story didn’t impact their life in a meaningful way, bc I can’t see how it couldn’t. I’ve played the games many times, but even after all of this, there are moments that I not just still get emotional to, but take on new meaning as I go through my life. And Shepard’s the hero of the story. They’re not perfect, and they can downright be an ass if you play them that way, but their story is one of perseverance, of fighting on even when entire worlds are being lost and everyone is still looking to them. Everyone needs them to find a solution. But even then, it’s a story about friendship too. About tons of amazing characters that all have their own motivations, their own pasts and goals and hopes and failures. About how all these varied characters become a found family. And so Shepard’s the hero of the story, but their companions aren’t just there to be sidekicks, but end up with all their own accomplishments and arcs and you go on this journey with all of them. idk the whole series is great dsalkkljads

5. Lexa & Clarke - The 100 Let’s not talk about how terrible this show got and how messy it was because we all know. But it started with a really compelling story that was interesting, and to see two characters on screen who were flawed but understood each other, and to have them both be women - one who was a lesbian and one who was a bisexual?? It made me so excited and it’s a really flawed show but it meant a lot to me at the time to have a couple like that on a tv show, and so despite all its flaws, that relationship still means a lot to me. 

6. The BAU team - Criminal Minds Yeah, I put the entire friggin team down, and that means all of them. There was only maybe two or so characters that were on it I didn’t like so every iteration is put down. Criminal Minds isn’t exactly a complex show; it’s a typical crime drama, and its unique feature is that it looks into the behaviour and minds of criminals instead of finding the science, like we saw with CSI. But the episodes were compelling and entertaining to watch, and, what do you know, there’s a found family at the center of it all and naturally I’m a sucker for it. Strangely enough this show is kind of a comfort one to me, bc it’s entertaining but not always overwhelmingly emotional. I can put it on at any time and just have it on in the background, or when I’m not feeling well, and I’ll enjoy myself. Also strangely enough, I’ve seen almost every episode enough times that there’s a game in my house to see how long it takes for me to recognize the episode and its plot once a rerun is put on lmao. There’s a lot of good shows like this out there - I enjoy SVU a lot too - but something just draws me to the characters on this one. We’ve been with them for, what, 14 seasons?? And we’ve seen them go thru some shit, we’ve seen them grow and change and they’re all really unique. It’s not a complex show but it is good enough to just binge. A part that plays in it is probably the time in my life I started getting into it too, but I’m alright with standing by it.

7. Korra - Avatar: The Legend of Korra I probably don’t need to wax poetic about atla or atlok much at all. I just love her journey, as a brash and overconfident girl who realizes that being the Avatar is hard, the people expect so much and there’s a lot put on your shoulders. That, when things go wrong, people will blame you. She went and became this giant blue monster thing, but her struggles were all human. Her PTSD was shown really well, despite it being a kid’s show. She’s fun and her journey is lovely and it’s definitely true that Korrasami did it way better, and both characters are bi women too (◡‿◡✿) We Do Not Talk About That Dumb Love Triangle Nonsense Though

8. Chloe & Max - Life is Strange What can I even say about this game? I don’t know. If you’ve played it, you’ll know why it’s here. It’s.... way deeper than you’d think it’d get at first. I love the story, and I love the journey Max and Chloe go on together. I love their friendship, how Chloe was always trying to uplift Max and encourage her to follow her dreams, and Max just doing the impossible for Chloe. I love their relationship, because it was built on support and love and struggle. I love their complexities, their flaws, their strengths, their times together. I just fskljdjlksfd love them, I love this game and all its various stories and character arcs. It’s all so beautiful and raw and unique and yay, another pair of ladies loving each other is on this list.

9. Solas - Dragon Age: Inquisition Okay. There’s a TON of characters I adore in Dragon Age, and to be honest, I don’t know he’d be my absolute top one. But I do like his story. I love Dragon Age companions, because, like in Mass Effect, they’re all their own characters with their own stories and journeys. Solas is flawed. Like, really flawed. Here’s another guy on my list who went and fucked up the world a bit. His worst actions (and the consequences of them) were built on good intentions, on his desire to help his people. We can get into the way this direction BW went with the elvhen religion was icky, but it’s a different conversation. I adore elvhen lore and I love exploring theories on it all the time. For Solas, I just like that he’s complex. I mean, he’s still silly and kinda weird, and he loves to hear himself speak on topics and loves Lavellan for encouraging him to never shut up, but most of all I kind of like their relationship? A friendship with Solas is still great, but I like that it’s an asexual one (don’t fight me on this, idc, it’s how I see it). It’s soft, built on mutual respect, one with no pressures or expectations. Solas asks for time and Lavellan gives it. There’s no fade to black s.ex scenes that so many times aren’t optional in BW games. I just really like my asexual wolf god egg ok

10. Mulder & Scully - The X Files Okay, it’s super hard to choose characters for this holy heck. BUT I really, really, really love their relationship. Mulder is an idealist who believes in the supernatural, and Scully his pragmatic scientific counterpart. And we could talk about how Scully’s character as a woman in science meant to a lot of people, and how Mulder’s tenacity to not give up on his beliefs is a nice one (when it’s not getting him into trouble). Their relationship is the slowest of slow burns in television history, I think. But it’s good that way. Scully starts out thinking Mulder’s just a delusional guy, one who’s intelligent but wastes his accomplishments, and he knows that. Then they go through shit, they’re a team and many times it’s them against a whole bunch of unbelievable stuff (and their own government). What I loved most was also their son, and I’m literally deleting all knowledge of the new seasons from my brain bc I think it was gross and took away from the story, but I liked that they were so close, loved each other so much despite there not really being a romance yet, that Scully trusted to go to Mulder to donate to her bc he was the only one she could think of for this. It’s another asexual relationship on screen, and it’s built on a love that happens over time. I just fljksdfkjl could go on about it too.

-

This was hard lmao. I wanna give an honorary shout out to Peggy Carter since she had wonderful lines like: “I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t really matter.” Which is *chef’s kiss*. Peggy was the true unsung hero of the MCU and they gave her and Steve a weird ass ending.  

idk who to tag bc I’m not sure who’d be into this, but if you’re willing, I’d love to hear from @sapphicfinalpam, @mariaromanovs, @vinterskald, @zombiefishgirl, @nb-aziraphales, @serkonans and anyone who feels like doing it. Feel free to obvs ignore this, or only make a list without rambles, idk. I am never too sure about who’s into this or not, but if I didn’t tag you and you wanna do it, you can just say I tagged you and I definitely wanna read what you have to say!

[lilacbombs]

3 and 15!

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with- OOF that’s… impossible considering how much stuff I’ve liked over the years, and I don’t really consider myself apart of “””fandom””” anyway so… I’ll just list some examples from recent ones and let you decide

mob psycho 100- mobu himself. Like one of the reasons I started going “!!!” and really paid attention to this series is cause mob was literally me as a kid. I was constantly worried about inconveniencing others with my emotions, so I just held it in and was often seen as cold or blunt by other people… I really got through it thanks to ssri’s + therapy but like OOF… SHIGEO..

the outer worlds- I’d say captain hawthorne but I feel like that’s cheating so… I guess ellie because she just gives off similar “fun quirky lesbian who once went through some shit in her life but has come out of it pretty ok” energy. like me

fallout 4- that ones a callback OOF… I’d say I relate to Deacon cause he seems like a fun guy trying to make the best out of a really messed up situation. also peak dumbass

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.- (>implying I read books?)

lol just kidding. but most of these are going to be comics tbh because that was always what I related to most.

Blankets - Crag Thompson - This book is PEAK “I was raised in the midwest around a bunch of redneck dickheads and felt really neutral about where to go in my art career cause no one took it seriously” I can’t really relate to being raised evangelical but like. still I feel it. Ntm that it was what made me think “damn, I want to do this someday.” in terms of career. It’s just a incredible peace of story-telling.

Black Brick Road of Oz - Xamag/Daria Yeliseyeva- ok this might be cheating, but if you’ve ever looked at my digital art and thought “woah” you can attribute it entirely to this comic. This comic specifically was what made me think “I want to make a webcomic!!” and “I want to make art like that!!”It mostly started with seeing her art on deviantart, but after reading her comic I was in LOVE with everything, the style, the colors, it immediately made me want to pick up a tablet and understand how it was done. Because I was still at an age (12 I think?) where I didn’t really “get” how digital art was made.So yeah, BBR is basically the only reason I’m a primarily digital artist. and thank christ for it, because without that comic wheel story wouldn’t exist, and I wouldn’t be looking to spend 37,000 dollars at KCAI next year.

Siddhartha - Herman Hesse - This one came after my whole “Get into buddhism” thing which was triggered by sym, but I wanted to put this down instead of the latter because it was a little more stimulating in terms of actual thought and it’s an actual bookIt’s just a story very similar to the story of the buddha, but taking an alternate path where he spirals into desire instead of out of it. Only at the end of his life does Siddhartha truly come to understand himself, along with Govinda his childhood love friend who he marries reunites with at the end in a very touching way. Look this book is gay as hell. It literally opens with stating that Govinda “loves siddhartha more than anyone else”, he regularly calls siddhartha “my dear”… the list goes on. I realize this could just be a case of “is it homoeroticism or does the author just hate women,” but idk. I still think it’s fun to read and relate to it as the story of a man searching for love only to realize he had it all along.I also like contrasting gay romances/stories into religious dialogues and contexts. Because of the trauma I (sorta?) and a lot of other gay people have faced because of religion I think its healing somehow. Like saying our love and our lives are just as spiritual, just as sacred.

I’m cutting this to 4 cause I gotta get back to hw + I genuinely can’t think of a 5th LOL

The Milkman murders - Joe Casey (writing) and Steve Parkhouse (art) - This one was a real reach back because I haven’t read it in years. I’m not much of a horror fan, but I’ve always liked “domestic” horror, and I might even write a story about it someday. The milkman murders is NOT a good, nice story. it’s about an abusive household and the a suburban mom being driven to kill her family. But I think even for how heavy-handed the subject matter can seem, I think it’s an interesting story meditating on how important it is to communicate as a family, how much abuse can change a person, how fucked up seemingly suburban families can be… even if the depiction of some of the characters seem heavy-handed. (It kinda plays into that whole thing of abusers being big villains who enjoy pain as opposed to fucked up people who exhibit behaviors that never get punished. Not that I’m defending abusers but… I think you get it.)Again though, WOULD NOT reccommend this to anyone with a history of abuse/sexual assault, it’s a very dark series with an even darker subject matter.

[moonlitgleek]

I would love to hear your thoughts about Fire and Blood when you finish it! (Or not even when you finish it, just whenever, cuz you're amazing!) 💕

I have the best friends in the world! Love and hugs, lady.

I am halfway through and I intend to go back and reread each chapter once I finish since I keep blowing through pages because I want to know all the things, which is not very good for proper processing. But a few of the things that jumped at me so far:

(spoilers for Fire and Blood volume 1 under the cut)

1. Gyldayn seems more rambly and prone to ponder sexual scandals than Yandel. He spent waaaay too much time talking about that, and while sexuality is at the heart of some conflicts, the way he went on about the story of Coryanne Wylde and the sordid details of how she was “examined” really undermines his position as a historian and makes me overly iffy on him. Also, there are private conversations between Jaehaerys and Alysanne that I’d really like to know his source on.

2. Speaking of authors, what the actual fuck George? You’d think that in a book that goes so into detail about unconfirmed scandals he’d have the room to expand on someone like, idk, Argella Durrandon? He had the chance to make her story a bit better but he not only did he uphold her forceful loss of voice being the last we hear of her, he compounded the matter by also having Marla Sunderland’s tongue removed before she was packed off to the Silent Sisters. Literal stripping of women’s voices for defiance, by their own men no less, when it’s so unnecessary and so singular in its gendered use in the plot infuriates me. There is a lot of overlap between gender and silencing of voice in this (Argella, Marla, Ceryse Hightower, Rhaena Targaryen). UGH.

3. On the topic of women, Torrhen Stark’s daughter not only does not have a name, she is completely unmentioned in Jonos Arryn’s rebellion, nor by her nephew (?) Alaric with either Alysanne or Jaehaerys. Looks a bit peculiar since Alaric obviously brooded on the consequences of Targaryen decision for his family in the case of Jaehaerys and those he sent to the Wall, so is there any particular reason Torrhen’s daughter goes completely unmentioned even when the topic of marriage was raised and southern matches brought up, George?

4. Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys are outright referred to as the three heads of the dragon. It’s no longer symbolic or understood but an explicit connection. That’s way too obvious for me to buy that Rhaegar’s Aegon and Rhaenys don’t point straight to a recreation of the Conquest Trio.

5. The war of escalating atrocities between Dorne and the Targaryens is terrible but I feel like there is a conscious effort to make the Targaryens seem better somewhat? The mention of them trying to negotiate at this point before actually utilizing dragonflame is weird because it is not consistent with anything in the Conquest. I don’t know what to do with that part.

6. The First Dornish War makes Daeron I’s folly in the conquest more obvious. Dornish terrain is as much an element to conquer as Dornish people and it costs a lot to manage it. Keeping conquered Dornish ground is bloody hard even with dragons. Daeron even leaves a Tyrell in charge just like Aegon.

7. Is it just me or does the Targaryen succession look weird in early days? Jaehaerys is referred to as the rightful heir by all rights then a few pages later it’s nope, Aerea is then suddenly we’re talking about Rhaena’s claim even though every reference to Targaryen succession before that points to a male-preference primogeniture. Alysanne takes issue with Jaehaerys treating Aemon as his heir over Daenerys even though Jaehaerys’ accession is tarnished based on that principle. There is a distinct vibe of seeing the son of Rhaenys the Queen Who Never Was as the expected heir of Aemon rather than Rhaenys herself (though this could partly because Princess Rhaenys and Lord Corlys wanted to put forward a potential male heir to offset Baelon being seen as the natural successor - since when was Baelon seen as the natural successor though? That apparently wasn’t only Jaehaerys’ sentiment so was that a popular view while Aemon lived or a reaction to Baelon avenging Aemon? Was Aemon aware and that’s why he made a comment to Rhaenys about liking a grandson, or was that regular era preference of male heirs?). Main takeaway though is that Jaehaerys passing over Rhaenys had nothing with extant competing claims but was about regarding Baelon as a natural successor for his gender, age and prowess. Jaehaerys pretty much didn’t even consider Rhaenys. Headdesk. You’re killing me, man.

8. I feel like the characters of Rhaena Targaryen and Alyssa Velaryon are being walked back. The point where apparently Septon Barth comments that Alyssa undoubtedly wanted to do the right thing but didn’t know what that was flies in the face of her previously established actions. I don’t like how she was taken down from an active and conscious political player, to a confused and almost secondary player next to Rogar (much preferred him when he was Robar, both the name and the person) till their final tiff, to  a womb and another casualty of childbirth with the emphasis being on her children. Rhaena may have called out the latter but the whole thing feels like a punishment for Alyssa for first opposing Jaehaerys and Alysanne then opposing Rogar. As for Rhaena, she swings between political sacrifice for the greater good to treating Jaehaerys and Alysanne with contempt for it. Resentment is perfectly normal and understandable but Rhaena surpasses that. She is purposely cast in an unfavorable light and her sexuality is strongly used to frame it.

9. There is a bit of exoneration after the fact to Jaehaerys sentencing most of Maegor’s Kingsguard to the Wall on contradicting arguments. I get his point about oathbreaking but punishing those who deserted Maegor because they didn’t uphold their vows to protect hum while also punishing those who didn’t desert him for defending and enabling a murderous usurper is extremely contradictory. That the two knights who deserted Maegor then deserted the Night’s Watch and a caused a conflict that claimed the life of Walton Stark neatly brushes this quandary off because it demonstrates that Jaehaerys was right.

10. I love how Septon Barth and Alysanne often work as a team in pushing Jaehaerys towards one policy or another. On more than one occasion, one of them makes the argument and the other comes with the definitive final strike. I love the women’s court and Alysanne’s Laws though I think there is a certain vagueness in the way Jaehaerys codified inheritance in the Widow’s Law. I’m still midway through Viserys I’s tenure though so I don’t know if this will be raised in any sort of legal argument for the Dance but it’s a non-issue so far.

11. I hate how Daella Targaryen was written. I hate how we keep adding names to the “death by childbirth” list. I hate how the child brides keep getting ignored. This is too conspicuous in the case of Daella and her daughter Aemma Arryn. Queen Alysanne held herself and especially Jaehaerys to blame for Daella’s death because she felt that, at 16-17, they wed her too early and that contributed to her death in childbed. But it’s treated like a non-issue that Aemma married Viserys at 11 and was bedded at 13.

12. I’m indescribably charmed by how Baelon the Brave got his epithet by booping a dragon on the nose. Also, the relationship between Aemon and Baelon, and Baelon and Alyssa. Too bad we can’t have nice things.

13. I already lost my shit over this in DMs with you but still, Aerea Targaryen! Aerea Targaryen! Oh my god. I was equally horrified and fascinated. A speculated trip to Valyria that resulted in the princess’ body being inhabited by “worms with faces” or “snakes with hands” made of fire and heat that cooked her body from the inside. This surpasses Valyria being a thin place or geophysically unstable. This means there is a Lovecraftian horror capable of using human bodies (and non-human bodies, Balerion was wounded as well but dragons are fire made flesh so that probably protected him) as vessels to… spread? Take over? Turn people into dragonic/fire abominations? Also, also, is that take over possible for anyone or is whatever is dormant in Targaryen DNA that tends to emerge with the use of magic in the form of babies with dragon-like qualities (though it appeared in non-magical cases) makes them more susceptible?

COMPARE TO THE OTHERS. A Lovecraftian horror made of ice and another made of fire. Blood magic probably behind the creation (calling?) of both. We still don’t know how the Others came to be and there has been legitimate rebuttals to the show’s version of their creations BUT I think what could be taken from the show is the suggestion that this is blood magic gone wrong.Both take over human bodies though differently (is this linked to living bodies being warm and dead ones growing cold? Is that why the fire-based monstrosity manifests in living creatures while the Others trades in dead bodies? The things beneath Aerea’s skin burst out either when they felt the cold of the ice bath the maesters put her in or when she suffered cardiac arrest and died. Either way it’s connected to cold)  The cosmic balance between ice and fire has deeper roots….. now I’m really curious as to the nature of the magic of the Wall that keeps ice and fire firmly separated.

14. We are slowly building a succession history for the Starks: Torrhen Stark -> son (?) Brandon -> son Walton -> brother Alaric -> grandson Edric -> Ellard of undetermined relation. That’s how as far as I got in the book but that’s too far from the Benjen Stark that starts the Stark family tree in TWOIAF. Cregan Stark was already Lord of Winterfell by 129 so that’s a period of 28 years between that and the Great Council that also fits the aforementioned Benjen and his son Rickon, Cregan’s father and grandfather.

15. I’m so not a fan of the art in this book. It ranges from blatantly inaccurate (Aemond and Luke during the Dance, SIGH), to exaggerated (Elinor Costayne is weird in that art with Maegor. Also, did she wait to react till she climbed the entire Iron Throne? And Jaehaerys was cool and measured in his response to Maegor’s supporters after landing in the Red Keep. WHY does he look like he is yelling in the art?) to weird (Which of the Black Brides is dressed like a septa and why? Why does Jaehaerys look like all of 8 at his coronation when he was actually 14?). Perhaps that’s a bit nitpicky but I’m not impressed tbh.

16. GRRM overdid it with Jaehaerys’ reign imo. There is writing conflict because peace and prosperity is dull to write, and there is cramming every possible conflict under the sun in the story. Was there anything missing? I count family drama, political intrigues, succession questions, plague, policy changes, financial crisis, winter, and mini-rebellions. He reigned for a long time so I get it but at one point it was one conflict after another that I’m having trouble reconciling what I read with previous descriptions of Jaehaerys’ reign.

17. There is a lot to talk about with Jaehaerys and Alysanne but I want to get the timeline straight and give it some more thought. But I will say that as delighted as I am with all the women in Alysanne’s story and with Jaehaerys and Alysanne’s relationship reflected in policy, it’s monumentally disappointing to read about his relationship with his daughters. There was an underlining gentleness in how he treated his mother Alyssa and Rhaena that was sorely missing with some of his daughters. I came out of this part feeling really off and unsettled. And sad. So very sad. WTF, Jaehaerys. Just WTF.

That’s my preliminary thoughts on the first half of the book. It’s mostly feelings with a side of unsubstantiated and unresearched spiraling. Politics, worldbuilding and themes tend to appear on later reads.

(Edit: part two is here)

[mooosicaldreamz]

idk how you & lynne are able to write so much. tbh y’all are a blessing. i did a random # generator for the things u said prompts so i’m submitting 40 for supercorp!

according to lynne i have sucked up all the inspiration in the apt, which is apparently a finite resource, so i guess i will be the one producing any writing today…….anyway here it goes. things i said when you met my parents. @narraboths said there was only one choice when i was given this prompt. 

One second, Kara is flipping Lena’s omelette over in the pan with careful and steady precision, dancing to the Real Estate song pouring out of Lena’s way-too-big sound system, when the door opens.

It’s been three months of dating, two blissful months of having great sex, one month since Lena had insisted Kara take a key to her large off-campus apartment and told her to go get milk and kale on the way back from her radio journalism class. Kara had got the milk, some cookies, a giant bouquet of shitty grocery store flowers, and forgotten the kale, but Lena had kissed her anyway.

She had met Lena freshman year in their shared Intro to 18th Century Lit class, and they had been through a lot of nonsense to get to here - Kara had dated this shitty dude named Mike, Lena had nearly blown up their friendship group by dating James for three weeks sophomore year. But Kara had felt it this past summer, while Lena fell asleep on the phone because she was in Turkey with her brother and Kara listened. It would be this year that they would figure it out.

They had, and that was awesome. What was not awesome was Kara turning away from the electric stovetop and seeing someone other than Lena in the doorway, while wearing an FBI t-shirt reading Female Body Inspector (gifted from her sister in a fit of drunken Amazon shopping) and boxers covered in tiny little flying cupids. Last night, when Lena had taken them off of her before giving her some inspired head, she had said they were cute.

The woman with brown hair and a Valentino bag did not look like she would share such an opinion. Kara recognizes her immediately, of course. Her first instinct is to punch the woman, because Lena had just finished a phone call with her mother that set her in such a mood that she demanded Kara drive to the dispensary just on the edge of campus and buy some edibles. They had sat in the dark and watched Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and then when that had worn off, Lena had cried and Kara had kissed her face all over.

“I didn’t realize Lena had a roommate,” Lillian Luthor, drawing to her full height. She’s taller than Kara, serene-looking and unperturbed. Kara was very perturbed, because she was wearing boxers and had nothing as smart as that to say back, besides a colorful string of curse words.

The door opens again. Lillian sidesteps the wide arc it makes as Lena barrels in without looking up from her bag.

“Darling, I hope some of that food is for me, because I’m starving, and I think my mother wants to have dinner with me tonight-“

Kara makes a strangled noise. Lena looks up her way and the smile on her face is pretty enough that Kara forgets that her mother is watching and smiles back. But then Lillian makes a soft coughing noise, and a look of deep horror rushes over Lena’s face as she looks over from Kara to the visage of her mother, dark and batlike in the corner of her formerly sunny kitchen.

“Lena, there’s an FBI agent in your home,” Lillian says, deadpan. It would be funny if Kara didn’t feel like dying.

They go to breakfast because in the process of getting dressed and resolving to burn her FBI t-shirt, Lena’s omelette burns and Kara’s assembled collection of breakfast items get sneered at by Lillian. Apparently Rice Krispies is not a meal to be eaten by anyone with a job over the age of eleven.

“You do have a job, I assume,” Lillian says. Kara doesn’t muster a response, just holds tighter to Lena’s hand as Lillian’s driver takes them over to Salt and Pepper. Lena’s jaw clenches.

“You know, mother, when you insisted on having a key to my place, I thought you’d agree that barging in without warning was a healthy boundary,” Lena says.

“I was in town, and you weren’t answering my calls,” Lillian says, breezily. Watching the two of them talk at each other is sort of like watching Winn and his nerd friends play Pong. Kara isn’t sure how or when to interject.

“You want me to go to that awful gala with Jack, I know,” Lena says. Her head drops against the seat of the car, and her neck rolls as the car moves along. Lillian cocks her head.

“I see now why you didn’t like the idea. You might’ve told me. Surely Kara has a dress suitable for the occasion,” Lillian says. The smile on her face does not meet her eyes. Kara is not inclined to smile back. She just grips Lena’s hand and draws patterns across the back of it, trying to bleed some calm into her. It isn’t clear that it works, but when the car rolls to a stop and Lillian insists they sit in the window seat at the restaurant, exactly where Lena hates to sit because the early morning sun is apparently too bright on her, she gives Kara a small smile.

“What all is good here, then?” Lillian asks. Food is something Kara is capable of talking about to almost anyone, so she gives it a shot, letting Lena take a long drink of water.

“I’m a big fan of the eggs benedict,” Kara says. She feels Lena’s hand arrive on her thigh in a soft, reassuring gesture, and it provokes her to give a smile to Lillian. There’s nothing but a frown in return.

“Certainly not very healthy,” Lillian says. “Lena, I certainly hope you haven’t been eating things as fattening as eggs benedict while you’ve been gallivanting with this one.”

“She eats a lot of kale, actually,” Kara says, dropping her hand under the table and holding Lena’s hand. Lena is rubbing her forehead with her spare hand in much the same gesture as she makes when she’s been staring at blueprints for five hours. Kara likes it then, because Lena with her reading glasses and work face on is cute, susceptible to snuggles, and always open to buying them late-night cheese fries at Devil Dawgs. But this Lena is not as fun.

“That would explain the sallow look,” Lillian says.

Kara knows the definition of the word sallow, definitely read it in her SAT prep classes, and it’s not how she would describe Lena. Lena is gorgeous, has been gorgeous since she stood up on the first day of class and said her name was Lena Luthor and that her favorite book was Siddhartha, and Kara had watched her take studious notes for an hour and a half. She was beautiful the day she kissed Kara in the freezing cold rain on the corner outside McDonalds right after Kara had tried to eat three McNuggets at once. She was beautiful when she came and she was beautiful this morning when she had let Kara keep her in bed for five minutes extra so that they could share sleepy, morning breath kisses. Kara is certain she will be beautiful in graduation robes, and wedding dresses, and holding babies, and solving world hunger.

So she can’t help but take offense.

“I’m going to the restroom,” Lena says. She stands abruptly. Kara watches her go with some worry. It’s too early in the morning for Lena to be crying about anything, but it looks all the same like she might be about to when she turns the corner into the restroom.

When she looks back to the table, Lillian is looking at her.

“So, a journalism major,” Lillian says. Kara stares at her. Apparently the spate of silence is too long. “Are you going to speak? Or stare?”

“Yes,” Kara says. Frustration is thrumming through her, an old anger that’s mostly quelled when she’s around Lena, absorbing the atmosphere of Lena. Her therapist used to call it orphan anger, which had seemed sometimes crass, but usually just as descriptions go.

“Which one?” Lillian asks. She smiles, takes a sip of her water. Kara feels her hand as though it were separate of her body reach up to grip the edge of the table.

“Why are you such a jerk to her?” Kara asks. She leans a quarter of the way over the table to make sure that no one overhears her disrespecting what is supposedly an adult.

“I’m sorry?” Lillian asks. She looks intrigued, like Kara has said something surprising and she’s halfway interested in hearing what else she has to say. Or like how people look at puppies barking at mirrors. Like it’s amusing. It makes Kara feel crazy.

“She is so - good, and she tries so hard to impress you when she doesn’t even need to, and you’re such a jerk,” Kara says. “Why?”

She doesn’t mean for it to sound so impassioned and sad, but that’s how it comes out, and it makes Lillian smile very gently.

“I don’t think you know your place,” Lillian says. “Perhaps you should find it.”

“My place is with Lena,” Kara says, and she smacks the edge of the table so hard that the water glasses shiver. “I’m with her. And you know what? She doesn’t need you.”

“I want what’s best for my daughter,” Lillian says.

“So do I,” Kara says. “And that includes you not being a jerk.”

“You may not understand Lena and I’s relationship, but I do care about her,” Lillian says. She leans back in her seat like she’s won something. Kara almost stands up and swings, but instead she chooses to reach into her lap and place her napkin on the table in front of her, standing slowly.

“I’m going to go check on her and make sure she isn’t crying because you’re a jerk,” Kara says. “When I come back, you can either be gone or in a fifty percent better mood, which I’m sure is the best your robot heart can manage, or else I’m going to make my friend James who works here drop hollandaise on your stupid, jerky head.”

Lillian stares at her. James, who’s just arrived at the table to take their drink order, stares at her. She brushes back him with a very dark look that has him scurrying backward.

She finds Lena in the women’s restroom, leaned up against the sinks and staring at the ceiling as though it might collapse down upon her. There’s no hesitation in wrapping her arms around Lena, pressing kisses up the column of her neck until she starts giggling and pushing Kara away.

“I’m sorry I left you out there,” Lena says, reaching up and pressing her long fingers into either side of Kara’s jaw, pulling her down into a quick kiss. It’s something like cool rain after an oppressive heat, kissing Lena right now in this restaurant bathroom after yelling at her mother. The sinks are fancy and the lights are bright and her mother is decidedly not here.

“It’s alright,” Kara says. “I left her out there. I’m sure that’s not in the etiquette books.”

“I read the etiquette books,” Lena says, kissing her again. “It was not in the etiquette books.”

“Is making out in this bathroom in the etiquette books?” Kara asks. Lena kisses her and keeps kissing her, and they super make out for a solid thirty seconds before Lena draws back with a sigh.

“As much as I want to keep breaking the rules of etiquette books, we should probably go out there and suffer through,” Lena says. She keeps pressed close to Kara, and Kara keeps holding onto her. She loves feeling Lena. Loves Lena. She had been meaning to tell her so.

“Your mother sucks,” Kara says. “But just think. When we get married, I can hand deliver the invitation and I’ll dunk it on her the way Winn does with his 64 controller when he wins at Mario Kart.”

“Oh, when we get married?” Lena asks. She’s smiling so pretty that Kara can’t think of the words inside her brain even though she’s real smart sometimes. So she just leans forward and kisses Lena again. “It’s only been three months, Danvers.”

“If you ever think of breaking up with me, just know that whoever you date after me will not dunk your wedding invitation in her face,” Kara says.

“I suppose we can’t break up, then,” Lena says, smiling.

“Probably not,” Kara says.

It takes them five more minutes to get out of the bathroom, and Lena is even smiling when she sits down again, her hand wound up in Kara’s. Lillian is still there, and Kara feels like she needs to mime buckling in. She settles for taking a drink of her mimosa, which James has taken the liberty of delivering for her without even her ordering. She’s glad they’re all still friends.

“I apologize, Lena,” Lillian says. She sounds like someone is holding a gun to her back and she’s swallowed a razor, but Kara grins as wide as she pleases. She does not elaborate, but Lena looks nearly stunned. Kara squeezes her hand. “Tell me about…journalism, Kara.”

Kara does.

[joannalannister]

Lady Joanna, may I please ask if you have any thoughts on Loren the Last and any other past Monarchs of the Westerlands? (I ask this having already commissioned and posted an illustration of King Loren on deviantArt, but genuinely wondered if you had ideas for any of his predecessors and thought one might as well include the first "modern" Lord of the Rock).

OooOOoooo omg this is you? I saw it this morning on DA, It’s gorgeous! Do you plan to post it on tumblr? I would love to reblog it from you, along with the other ones!

My main interest in the Lannister kings is that GRRM uses them to continue to explore themes present in the main series. For example, the relationship between the body and the self (or identity), and #body as battleground, is something that goes all the way back to Lann the Clever, who supposedly “sired a hundred bold sons and a hundred lissome daughters, all fair of face, clean of limb, and blessed with hair ‘as golden as the sun.’” 

GRRM/Yandel establishes ~The Lannister Identity~ as people who are beautiful, able-bodied (“clean of limb”), and golden-haired … people who are gender-conforming ie men who are “bold” and Masculine to the point of Toxicity, and women who are thin and gentle and graceful (“lissome”) … 

When the text says this, we’re supposed to say, “Wait. That’s bullshit.” (So much of Yandel’s writing is Bullshit.) Because characters like Genna immediately spring to mind. Genna who is fat and so much bolder than her timid husband. Genna “Get the Trebuchet” Lannister who is anything but gentle. Or Tyrion, who is disabled and who has white hair instead of gold and who in his own words would rather die in bed than in battle. (This is why Tyrion is Not A Targaryen; Tyrion is the linchpin of GRRM’s deconstruction of ~The Lannister Identity~.) 

And so, continuing this deconstruction in TWOIAF, just a few paragraphs after the “bold sons” passage, we get Loreon V, who “was dubbed Queen Lorea, for he was fond of dressing in his wife’s clothing and wandering the docks of Lannisport in the guise of a common prostitute.” I don’t know if Loreon would have considered themself trans or genderfluid or what, but Loreon undercuts the Bold, Masculine image that House Lannister would like to present to the world. And the fact that Loreon would rather be perceived as a common prostitute than a king … that’s a profound rejection of Lannister classism and elitism imo. I love how GRRM builds House Lannister up so that he can tear down its most vile aspects. 

The other ASOIAF theme that crops up here that I’m interested in is the duality of man. It’s not something readily apparent in the individual Lannister kings mentioned in TWOIAF, because we usually only get a sentence or two describing them, but it’s the way that GRRM writes it. In one sentence, Yandel praises the Lannister kings for their wisdom and their valor, only to follow it with this sentence: “Yet Casterly Rock also housed many a weak, cruel, and feeble king.” 

And my favorite example of this in TWOIAF is Tyrion II versus Tyrion III. Tyrion II was known as the Tormentor who delighted in making women bleed, while Tyrion III was a great conciliator, bringing the Andals and the First Men of the Westerlands together through marriages. We know from GRRM that Tywin named Tyrion, and I feel 100% certain that Tywin named Tyrion for Tyrion II the Tormentor, but I like to think GRRM named Tyrion for both. Or rather, GRRM created both of these Tyrions for the World Book, so that Tyrion Son of Tywin could be named for both of them to fill in that backstory. Tyrion has done some horrible things, but I believe he’s also capable of doing great things. (Such great things.) 

The heroes will always be remembered. The best.““The best and the worst. […] And a few who were a bit of both. 

And so we come to Loren the Last. 

Do you know who I think of when I think of Loren? I think of Lancel, Kevan’s son. 

When Tyrion was recounting the tale of the Field of Fire in AGOT, he says, “King Loren had escaped, and lived long enough to surrender, pledge his fealty to the Targaryens, and beget a son, for which Tyrion was duly grateful.” 

Now – this is just my impression!! maybe I’m wrong!! – my impression here has always been that Loren was a young man when he set foot on the Field of Fire – young enough that he hadn’t yet fathered any sons before his surrender. 

So imagine, if you will, a young Loren, not long a king, “cursed with all the certainty of youth, unleavened by any trace of humor or self-doubt, and wed to the arrogance that came so naturally to those born blond and strong and handsome. His recent elevation [to the throne of the Rock] had only made him worse.” 

The Gardener king needed the Lannister armies more than the Lannister armies needed him imo. Highgarden would have fallen easily to the dragons, but Casterly Rock? Never. So what madness possessed King Loren to leave the safety of the Rock and voluntarily meet the Targaryens and their dragons in the field? I believe Loren was “too young, too bold, too eager for glory” (like a lot of other Lannister boys). 

Loren must have thought he couldn’t lose. And for a few golden moments, it was high summer for House Lannister.

The hosts met on the broad plains of the Reach, amidst golden fields of wheat ripe for harvest. When the Two Kings charged, the Targaryen army shivered and shattered and began to run. For a few moments, the chroniclers wrote, the conquest was at an end … but only for those few moments, before Aegon Targaryen and his sisters joined the battle.

But it is high summer for House Lannister. So why am I so bloody cold?      –Tyrion, ASOS

(There are so many parallels between ASOIAF history and the main sequence of events, I love it. Whether it’s the Conquest or the War of the Five Kings or the War for the Dawn, the Lannisters can’t stand against the fire, and they shouldn’t try.) 

Oh, how he must have regretted his folly. 

Loren Lannister […] knelt as a king and rose as a lord.

The sense of loss here – of failure – to have a major part of your identity stripped from you and to be branded with that shameful sobriquet, “the Last,” a title that calls to mind Jon Connington’s words to Tyrion as “the last and least of our company”.

This newly minted king, who reigned so briefly, only to lose everything because of his pride. 

Imagine walking off that field, the sickly sweet smell of charred flesh all around you. 

Imagine the horror of it:

Ravens soared through a grey sky on wide black wings, while carrion crows rose from their feasts in furious clouds wherever he set his steps. […] From the pyres of the dead rose black columns of smoke and white-hot ashes. My work, thought […] Lannister. They died at my command. […]

So many dead, so very many. Their corpses hung limply, […] unrecognizable, hardly human. Why did I kill them all? He had known once, but somehow he had forgotten.

What madness possessed Loren to leave the safety of the Rock and meet the dragons in the field? “He had known once, but somehow he had forgotten.”

Perhaps Loren stepped onto the Field of Fire as a young man, but I believe he left it an old one. 

“Near four thousand men had burned that day, among them King Mern of the Reach.” 

Imagine turning your horse for home with that many ghosts. 

Imagine Loren’s once-mighty army, now greatly diminished, marching back up the Ocean Road. In every village, every town, every holdfast they pass by … imagine the accusing eyes of all the women of the west, the highborn and the low, the widows and orphans and now-childless mothers. 

Imagine how many of Loren’s friends died on the Field of Fire. The male half of Loren’s court must have been decimated, and the female half might have taught Barbrey Dustin a thing or two about hate. 

And after the dust settles…

How crushing must it have been to be the last and least of thousands of years of Lannister kings?  The last and least of such a proud lineage? 

Imagine walking through Casterly Rock, the seat of Lannister kings, the Rock itself like a throne at the edge of the Sunset Sea. And in every hall, every gallery remain the trappings of a lost monarchy, a constant reminder, as if Loren could ever forget. 

“Loren […] lived long enough to […] beget a son”

Again, this is just my headcanon, but I imagine Loren died young, with only the one son to his name. 

(We don’t know Torrhen Stark’s age AFAIK, but in contrast to young King Loren, I imagine Torrhen was an older man. He was certainly a wiser one.) 

idk, Loren hits all of my Lannister feelings. The Romanticism-capital-R, the tragedy, the hubris, the trainwreck of it all. 

And this is, like, probably totally irrelevant to everyone but me, but this:

Loren Lannister […] knelt 

makes me also think of this: 

Yet Grand Maester Pycelle tells us that when Aerys II announced Ser Jaime’s appointment from the Iron Throne, his lordship went to one knee and thanked the king for the great honor shown to his house. Then, pleading illness, Lord Tywin asked the king’s leave to retire as Hand.

The loss, the tragedy, the failure to protect the people we love … it kills me every time. Every time. 

(I paralleled Tywin and Loren in my fanfic, they give me Emotions.) 

Also Loren and I share the same name, his is just the male spelling :) Since you asked for my thoughts and that is definitely something I think about :)

Also also, I would be remiss if I did not mention @racefortheironthrone’s essays on the politics of the Westerlands, which analyze the policies of Lannister monarchs in detail

Part I

Part II

Part III

***

I don’t know if this satisfies your curiosity? Whenever people ask vaguely for my thoughts on a broad subject, I’m like, “But which thoughts? Headcanons I made up? Close examinations of the text? Both? Character-driven or thematic? An ASOIAF-only approach or in the context of the larger fantasy genre?” and then I just spray unfocused thoughts all over the place, if I answer broad questions at all. 

Anyways, this is far too long already, so I hope that satisfies! 

[prairiepow]

outlast 2 was a little bit... weird?

It was heavily leaning on religious cues, that's for sure. I think it was a little weird but it broke tropes in my book and also shown light on the guilt that comes with sexual harassment and loosing a friend. I actually was surprised at how calmed I felt by the end and how much it touched on those themes without sexualizing things, or making it into theatrics like some games do. Idk. I have always loved how outlast handles sexual harassment and moral obligations--more so than any other horror game I have ever played. And I. Have played. A LOT. It had a different taste than the first game and the DLC. But even whistle-blower has a different feeling and theme than the first game. Red barrels is exploring a lot and in my opinion They're doing great for Exploring. What weirdness it did bring to table was so Jarring I think it helped the creep factor. I don't think it was too confusing either, and I have heard the comics Bridge the gaps. While I'm at this. I kinda just wanna talk About the game. Have a small review. Plot wise I feel like it scared me more because I came from a heavy Christian background so some of the notes found around the town were Literally echos of things I was taught as a child. It might be less scary to someone who was never very Close with borderline-cult religion? OR it might be more scary because it's not normalized.I appreciated THE HELL out of how many women/fem People we got in this game. We have this horrid sexist (and v regularly pointed out as WRONG) narrative about how this Town works and what the goal is of their religion and this extremely crude religious text, and even in the midst of all that we have Lynn kicking ass best to her ability and never really once was she actually saved by Blake LMAO. Lynn was the reason they were there, Lynn was ambitious and drove herself through the plot. In fact, without Lynn, Blake would have had little reason to continue like he did.Jessica was also such a real look into depressive childhood Especially when in A church. I say that because I was a depressed Afab in the church and boy..... Let me tell you. You get told shit like 'if you're feeling depressed, you're not Praising God enough ' which is just. Just. BLEH. Anyway. Despite what happened to her she is shown as a brave little girl and she's trying to fix her own issues as much as like a what, 10 year old girl can. It was good to see that and not demonize it, I Think.And mother fucking Marta. I have never been so scared of an 8 foot Amazonian woman hurtling towards me with a fucking pick Axe. I also have never been so Blessed to see an 8 foot Amazonian woman hurtling towards. Me with a pick axe. The girl is freaking RESPECTABLE AS FUCK. And gives a nice balance we have strong Females/fem presenting on all fronts.Val is fucking untouchable that is all goodnight.I will say the 'true face' speech was kinda like if a middle aged suburban Christian white woman took my hand and sympathetically said 'oh honey I'm so Proud of your journey and your truth :)' but hey they can't all be top Notch one liners.I will say some people might not be happy about how a lot of the female cast had a bad end, but I excuse this only because uh. Its a horror game. And I don't think anyone came out of that having a nice time.Plot wise loved It, what complaints I do have aren't crucial enough to voice. Game play wise. There were so Many holes. So Much corn. Red barrels give me a map or something please God. It felt like some of the hiding spots had neon signs that said 'CLICK HERE TO KILL BLAKE'. Why with the water barrels. This game is basically left run with none hide. I am very well acquainted with Martas face now considering I run at 1 mph and she HULKS FORWARD AT 65 RUNNING AT THE SPEED OF THE 90S.Thats all.

[garden-ghoul]

return of the blog, part.... uhhhh

“that’s right, I can’t even reliably count to three. or maybe I can and it’s four I can’t reliably count to?”

That aside, something horrible is about to happen.

THE SIEGE OF GONDOR

Gandalf wakes up Pippin at “the second hour,” which is either 2am or like 9am, depending on where they’re counting from. Pippin stares at his bread butter & milk breakfast miserably and says, “Why did you bring me here?” 

“You know quite well,” said Gandalf. “To keep you out of mischief; and if you do not like being here, you can remember that you brought it on yourself.”

Dude. He’s a teen and he was cursed. Give him a break.

He has to go see Denethor, who treats him rather rudely and then says he’ll be the lord’s esquire for today. Does he know any songs? Well, um, not many that are fitting here... Pippin does not want to sing comic songs or lewd songs to the Steward of Gondor. I just can’t get over this teen thing, he is like a college freshman who got out for the summer after a socially productive semester and now he works for the president. It’s fucking ridiculous. Well, he goes and gets some fancy livery so he’ll look regal enough for Denethor, and it only makes him gloomier. I love all the descriptions of Merry and Pippin being gloomy about being treated like ornaments.

Near sunset he’s finally released from his service (both boring and arduous, though I’ll wager he’s been doing a lot of good eavesdropping) and goes to hang out with Beregond and bemoan the fact that Faramir isn’t here. Oh! How convenient! There’s Faramir’s company right there (what’s left of it), being attacked by Nazgul! LUCKILY Gandalf, who vanished a while ago, seems to have foreseen this; he chases them away with light magic. Pippin runs to the gates to see Faramir coming home, and immediately gets a crush on him. He’s so noble! So tired! Yet so approachable!

Denethor does not really think so. He finds the smallest crack in Faramir’s demeanor as he’s making his report, and verbally eviscerates him in front of the guests. Y’know, for letting the Ring go into Mordor, and also for being alive even though Denethor is the one who told Boromir to go questing. Denethor and Gandalf yell at each other for a while, it’s rather frightening. As Pippin and Gandalf are leaving (Faramir has gone off to get some sleep, thank goodness!) Gandalf says he is filled with foreboding that Sam and Frodo are going via Cirith Ungol. How would YOU have gone, Gandalf? Through the front door? Secret tunnel?

The next morning everyone is gloomy again. They WERE excited about Faramir coming back--the text sort of implies that everyone in the city is a little in love with him--

But now Faramir was gone again. ‘They give him no rest,’ some murmured. ‘The Lord drives his son too hard, and now he must do the duty of two, for himself and for the one that will not return.’ And ever men looked northward, asking: ‘Where are the Riders of Rohan?’

Restless, restless, restless. Electric air. That Good Stuff. Faramir has been sent to Osgiliath to strengthen the garrison:

‘Then farewell!’ said Faramir. ‘But if I should return, think better of me!’

‘That depends on the manner of your return,’ said Denethor.

Ouch. Why do I get the feeling that Denethor will only think better of him if he returns in a coffin? As Faramir leaves, Gandalf tells him that his father loves him. Umm okay but how does that mitigate his awful treatment of Faramir. Doesn’t that make it worse? Right now I’m thinking about how Faramir is probably going to have to fight the Witch King since he’s leading the attack on Osgiliath, and thinking about how Eowyn is the one who kills him, and just being really excited for them to meet. Weary guy who hates to fight but must; frustrated enby who is chomping at the bit to murder some dudes. Honestly doesn’t that describe ALL the best Tolkien ships. Sometimes he does ladies right and it’s so #aesthetic. Wait I think the aesthetic I’m describing is just classic Jewish gender roles. Gentle studious men and women alight with the fire of direct action. I’m gay for both of these genders.

Anyway the next day the Black Host or whatever comes through the wall of the Pelennor Fields, despite the fact that Faramir is still doing his best to hold the rearguard off in Osgiliath. Including, yep, the Witch King. Actually they never refer to him as the Witch King in these books and I’m not sure where I heard it, but it’s an amazing title. Anyway mounted sorties start going out into Pelennor, with Gandalf at Prince Whoever of Amroth at their head. Denethor at least doesn’t let them overextend themselves; he calls them in very promptly so they won’t get trapped or too tired. I get the impression that for quick strikes they have the advantage because all of Sauron’s people are on foot. Oh, except a full third of them died anyway, because Sauron’s forces MASSIVELY outnumber them. Faramir has come back dead or wounded, and EVERYONE is crying. They bring him back to Denethor, who goes up into his tower and people see a strange flashing light and he comes down even more dead-looking than his dead son. I am beginning to suspect that the reason the text has alluded so many times to how far-sighted and well-informed Denethor is, is that he has a palantir. And this is some kind of secret, maybe?

The very last companies who can make it come back in through the gates, and they report that there is no way the Rohirrim can possibly make it in to help them now. The enemy is throwing fire over the walls. They’re throwing severed heads over the walls. Nazgul are circling. Denethor is weeping by Faramir’s body. Gandalf and the prince of Amroth have taken command of the city. There’s an aside here with Gondorians whispering about how elvish the people of Dol Amroth are--the people of Nimrodel. I’m glad there’s at least one version of the story where they found each other again and settled down, even if “the coast” probably wasn’t the land Nimrodel dreamed of that had never heard of war.

Hey, let’s check in on Denethor! Oh, uh, the palantir broke his will and he’s planning to set himself on fire in his despair. That’s cool I guess. Pippin goes to fetch Gandalf, as if he couldn’t possibly have anything more important to do than save one rude old man’s life. Or no, Pippin suspects he is going to kill Faramir as well. He passes Beregond and tells him to stop anything awful from happening.

OMG SORRY I FORGOT EVERYTHING I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO BECAUSE WE HAVE FINALLY CONFIRMED THAT THE BATTERING RAM GROND IS INDEED NAMED FOR MORGOTH’S HAMMER. I CAN STOP READING NOW THIS IS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW.

No no jk I will keep reading. I’m extremely pleased though. I have “Grond! Grond! Grond!” echoing in my head nonstop some days. Um anyway the Witch King is there, casting an evil spell to help Grond along, and on the third go it BURSTS the gates open!

‘You cannot enter here,’ said Gandalf, and the huge shadow halted. ‘Go back to the abyss prepared for you! Go back! Fall into the nothingness that awaits you and your Master. Go!’

The Black Rider flung back his hood, and behold! he had a kingly crown; and yet upon no head visible was it set.

Fuck yes.

Somewhere in the city, a cock crows, because having half of Gondor on fire in no way disrupted this chicken’s daily routine. Dawn. And with it, the horns of Rohan.

THE RIDE OF THE ROHIRRIM

The beginning of this chapter has a lot of fun sense description, since Merry is lying awake in complete darkness listening to the distant sounds of the Enemy’s hosts. Smelling the horses. All that. He thinks about how weird it is that everyone is just ignoring him because they know he’s not supposed to be here; Dernhelm seems to have some kind of “understanding” with Elfhelm, the marshal of their company. Sorry. Elfhelm? Elf? Helm? Is that a guy’s actual name? Elfhelm trips over Merry in the dark, and Merry asks What Is Up. As it turns out what is up is Woses, and what will soon be up is all the Rohirrim. I was gonna explain what Woses are but I think it’s way funnier if I don’t.

A Wose has come to offer help to Theoden, since he hates orcs as much as the next guy. Woses, he says, have “long ears and long eyes,” which isn’t especially relevant as far as I can tell but it’s delightful. The leader of the Woses, Ghan-buri-Ghan, knows a secret road! All he wants as a reward is... for the Rohirrim to stop hunting his people like beasts. What the fuck. I can’t believe Ghan-buri-Ghan actually prefers the Rohirrim to orcs. They go through the forest, and it takes all day, but the next morning before dawn they are ready to go do murders. Merry is upset again because he’s actually zero good at fighting and is just going to get himself and others killed.

The king sat upon Snowmane, motionless, gazing upon the agony of Minas Tirith, as if stricken suddenly by anguish, or by dread. He seemed to shrink down, cowed by age. Merry himself felt as if a great weight of horror and doubt had settled on him. His heart beat slowly. Time seemed poised in uncertainty. They were too late! Too late was worse than never! Perhaps Théoden would quail, bow his old head, turn, slink away to hide in the hills.

Then suddenly Merry felt it at last, beyond doubt: a change. Wind was in his face! Light was glimmering. Far, far away, in the South the clouds could be dimly seen as remote grey shapes, rolling up, drifting: morning lay beyond them.

Nice nice nice nice nice that’s some top notch metaphor. Tolkien is sooo good at environmental metaphors and foreshadowing. IDK there’s just something about the way the whole world seems to get in on the narrative, it’s really good. Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered; a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Theoden grabs a horn from someone and blows on it so hard it EXPLODES. AND THEY’RE OFF!! Join us next time for

THE BATTLE OF THE PELENNOR FIELDS