#idk how to explain it but i guess its just nice to be here and post raincode content

[elrincondelchivo]

I love this fandom

The Postal fandom is genuinely the best fandom I've been in years. It's so active and its users are always so nice and support literally EVERYTHING related to Postal. I haven't been in a fandom this supportive like ever- not even when I was in the Undertale fandom years ago wow. This community is making content every single day and posting it everywhere, you can literally ask anything and there will always be at least one person who'll answer, idk, is so fun to be here :) Though I've seen some talk about how there's a lot of toxic folks around, I haven't had any bad experience with anyone, neither I have encountered someone who's toxic, so I guess is kinda a minority? And it's strange because I used to be a little nervous about this fandom because of the nature of its firsts games, I thought everyone would be edgy, toxic, problematic, etc but as long as I see, that's not really the case. Plus, RWS is also so cool in a lot of ways, I think it's so nice that they interact directly with their community and even listen to them, I guess that also explains why everyone seems so friendly. Idk, I'm just in love with this fandom

[highoncatfood]

ohhhhh just finished raincode and im having a lot of complicated feelings. i feel like i need to write a looong long summary of my thoughts abt the game as a whole but as of rn i can say that in the end i did like it. even though i only sincerely became interested in it from chapter 4 on lol but anyway chapter 5 intrigued me so fucking much i finally felt like this is an actual well produced story. the epilogue broke me it made me so silly sad i cant help but think "aw. these r my little guys. i only wish for them to be happy." but yeah the game could use a few changes and improvements imo but its fine. i enjoy being into it

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i guess i'm an adult now

[reidrum]

like i would | s.r

pairing: spencer reid x bau!fem!reader

a/n: ok im gonna be honest idk how i feel about this one, i just wanted to finish it and put it out so apologies in advance if its not the best lol. this was requested with the prompt "i bet he can't fuck you like i can"! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated ! thanks for being paitent while i got this one out <3

cw: 18+ minors dni, smut, fingering, munch!spencer, jealous!spencer, unprotected p in v (wrap it before you whack it), reader's bf has a name which i hate in fics but its so hard to write this trope without a name so, afab!reader,

summary: a confession about your sex life makes it's way to the one person you'd hope wouldn't hear, and now he's determined to rectify the way you've been wronged

wc: 4.5k

_____________

you were a great asset to the bau. it was why you were personally recommended by emily to transfer out of sex crimes, the skill set you brought alongside the field training you had proved to be vital for the team’s success lately. you were also a great asset to the team. the bau was notorious for having people turnover fast, and you knew they were apprehensive with newcomers. but you managed to hit it off with every single member, one more than others.

spencer reid did not expect someone like you to join the team. not that he didn’t have faith in your talents and skills, he’s read your file and obviously knows you’re more than qualified to be here. he just did not expect someone who looked like you to join the team, someone who didn’t look beaten down by the horrors of the world and still believed in pots of gold at the end of rainbows. 

it didn’t help that you were so beautiful he literally would feel his heart ache when you walked in. like literally, would have to rub his chest to soothe the pain. and as spencer would, he would logic out his feelings with science because that’s all they are, scientific chemical reactions in the body. but what he felt in your friendship, what he felt when he was lucky enough to be in your presence, was something no textbook, theorem, or equation could explain.

so imagine the size of the fucking hammer coming down on his head when he finds out you have a boyfriend who: 1. is not him, and 2. is an actual real life bozo.

apparently you’d been seeing damon from organized crime for about a month now, that’s what he heard from penelope, and you ‘claim’ to be super happy. 

spencer doesn’t buy it.

he’s seen the way your ‘relationship’ operates, and he’s got the facts to back it up. damon never lets you get a word in when you’re in group settings, even purposefully talking over you when you’re clearly attempting to speak. majority of the time he’s condescending about your job as a profiler for the bau, saying that him and his team bring down drug rings, but you guys ‘just read their horoscope or whatever and decide the killer.’

it made spencer’s blood boil hotter than the sun. he couldn’t figure out why you put up with it, and why you continue to.

the final straw that broke the camel's back about his disapproval on your relationship choices, is what he overheard on the jet one time on the way back from a case.

the girls were talking in the back of the jet, unaware of spencer’s very awake mind despite his visibly sleeping body.

“i don’t know guys,” you had started with a sigh, “you think it’s weird right?”

“that your own boyfriend won’t go down on you? yeah hon, that’s fucking weird.” emily strikes.

“what did he say exactly?” jj asked.

“he said it increases the risk of STIs on the mouth? and doesn’t like the feeling of thighs crushing his head? and that even with all the … grooming … it’s still unnatural ?”

emily gagged while jj continued, “um…but do you like…on him?”

“yes! he literally won’t touch me unless i do!” you rage whisper.

“i am about to give him an organized crime to deal with,” emily half jokes, “what an asshole, why are you still with him?”

“i don’t know, he’s still nice to me i guess, and maybe i’m just being dramatic. or maybe i’m just not someone people go down on, who knows.” you sigh.

spencer stops listening, he can’t hear you talk so poorly of yourself. not when it’s so far from the truth yet you’ve been indoctrinated to think it’s accurate. how anyone could take advantage of you like that is beyond him, but it did light a fire inside of him and made him determined to help you realize you deserve so much better. if that happens to be him, then who is he to fight that?

—

spencer doesn’t get his chance to prove it to you for another two weeks, when you’d come over to his apartment for a movie night after getting in a fight with damon, your date night being canceled and leading you to spencer’s doorsteps, all dolled up with tears lining your eyes asking to come in.

he doesn’t even have time to be mad at your shithole boyfriend when he’s ushering you inside, offering you to sit on the couch while he goes and put a kettle on the stove for tea.

“i’m really sorry to just show up like this, spence.”

he doesn’t even blink before calling out from the kitchen, “don’t apologize, i’m always here for you. anytime and anywhere.”

you give him a soft smile before returning your gaze to the soft glow of doctor who.

he returns cradling two mugs in one hand and a pack of haribo gummies in the other. spencer doesn’t care for gummies, he’s more of a chocolate guy, but he knows it’s your favorite. so he makes sure to keep a couple bags in his apartment for you.

“my favorite!” you gush. his heart warms at your smile as he sits next to you on the couch. you naturally gravitate towards him to lean your head on his shoulder, and it’s automatic for spencer to wrap an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer.

the whirs and whooshes of the tardis fill the silence for the next hour as you visibly become calmer than when you first arrived. he decides this is a good time to ask, “do you want to talk about it?” as he turns his head to look at you.

“i don’t know,” you say quietly popping another gummy in, “i’m starting to believe it's just a me problem. like, maybe i’m just objectively not a great partner, and that’s why we keep getting in these fights. you know this time, he said i’m not worth all the effort and stress i bring him and that because of me he’s gonna bald at 29? i’m not a scientist like you or anything but even i know that, at least, can’t be my fault.” you end with a chuckle.

spencer knows he should probably comfort you in this time of honesty you’ve graced him with, squash your insecurities like a pesky bug on the windshield, and tell you how beautiful you are in as many words it’ll take for you to believe it (and he knows a lot of words).

but right now? he’s just fucking pissed.

not at you, never at you. at your situation, yes. at that sorry excuse of a partner let alone agent, immensely.

so he can’t help what escapes his mouth next, “why do you let yourself get treated like shit?”

you look up at him in surprise, at both the cursing and what he said, “what?”

“you’re constantly talking about how awful he treats you, and yet everyday you still go back to him knowing it’s going to repeat the next day. i just want to know why you don’t respect yourself enough to not let that happen to you.”

pulling away to sit far from him on the couch,  you start letting the annoyance show on your face, “spencer, that’s not fair at all. you think it’s my fault? do you really think i want to feel like this?”

“yes!” he shouts, “you seem like you do with how much you crawl back to him everytime, and everytime you let him back in.”

“okay, i think i should go,” you stand up and grab your things, “it was a mistake to come here, goodbye spencer.”

he grabs your wrist before you can get too far, “i just have to know, what is it?”

“what’s what spence, let me go.”

“what keeps you going back to him, it can’t be because you love him. it’s obviously not because you’re happy with him,” he lets out.

“you don’t know anything about me or my life, spencer!” you snatch away your arm and start heading towards the door.

“it’s definitely not because the sex is good, because i know it’s not.”

any emotion you had on your face wipes away like an etch a sketch, staring blankly at the door, hearing the man you’ve harbored a crush on since you started at the bureau years ago, telling you he knows your sex life is abysmal.

your voice comes out small, “h- how would you know that?” you don’t dare to turn around, knowing that if you did any resolve you held onto, any denial of emotions you’ve stripped from yourself would come pouring out like a broken dam.

the couch groans at a loss of weight, and the floorboards creak closer and closer to you.

“i heard you, on the jet.”

you’re especially glad he can’t see the blood draining from your face. if your heart already wasn’t at your feet, it’s most likely six feet under at this point. 

he heard you?

“when you were talking with the others about how he doesn’t reciprocate, and won’t sleep with you unless you get him off.” he continues.

the room is getting hotter by the millisecond, temperature about to be comparable to the sun’s core. it’s one thing to have just anyone hear the intimate details of your life, but spencer? the man to which you’d been using damon to get over?

the only sound that can be heard is your increasingly heavy breathing, and spencer feels like he’s caught a fish on his line and is ready to reel you in as he inches closer to you.

“you’re okay with that? not being taken care of in the way you deserve?”

his presence is merely nanometers behind you, the ghost of his fingers looking for landing on your hips. when you don’t move away, and he hears your breath hitch at the contact, he sets his hands more earnestly on your curves as he leans down to the nape of your neck.

“just don’t know,” kiss, “how anyone,” kiss, “wouldn’t want,” kiss, “to give you everything.” kiss.

your head lolls back onto his firm chest as he whispers in your ear, “cat got your tongue, sweetheart? you were so mouthy not even five minutes ago. be honest with me, has he even ever made you come?”

the whimpers escape you without warning and you find a single decibel of voice to speak, “spencer…” hoping the whine would dissuade him to let it go.

“uh uh, i asked you a question,” his arm tightens around the front of your waist to press back and fully feel him, “answer me.”

your lexicon has depleted except for the one word you know he’s desperately waiting for you to say, and the one he knows is the answer. yet you know the second it leaves your mouth, everything changes. and maybe you’re okay with that.

“no.”

spencer hums lowly, “has anyone made you come?”

“no.” you say again, softer this time.

“should we change that?”

this was not what you expected when you came to see him after your failed night out. the amount of processing you’d done in the last year to essentially not be thinking about spencer 24/7 was extensive. and you were ready to render it all useless in a matter of seconds.

so you let the strap of your bag fall down your arm and hit the ground with a thud, and finally turned around to look the good doctor in his eyes. while his voice held traces of anger and frustration, you came to see his eyes were full of reassurance and comfort, the spence you always knew to prioritize your wellbeing more than anything.

he looked down at you and slid his hand to up to cup your jaw, and he hears the smallest murmur, so delicate yet so full of want leave your lips.

“yes.”

that was all spencer needed to catch your lips in a heated kiss, moving your body to the closest wall as he places a hand behind your head to protect you from the wall’s impact while the other pins your waist to the wall.

you move your arms to wrap around his neck and keep him pinned to you with no escape, like he’d ever want to. his lips detach from yours and make a descent towards your neck again, taking deliberate effort to locate the sensitive spots.

he finds one just behind your ear and spends time sucking and bruising up the spot, relishing in the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. while you’re lost in the sensation on your neck, you don’t notice spencer move one of his hands closer to the button of your pants, effortlessly (and impressively) opening it up.

detaching from your neck with a heavy pant, he moves back to lean against your forehead with his own and look you in the eyes to ask, “is this okay? we can stop if you want, i didn’t mean to be so forw-“

“please don’t stop.”

he searches your eyes for any conflict and finds none, considering it the okay to continue his downward descent. he returns his lips to the second home they’ve made on your lips and starts to push your pants down over the curve of your ass, leaving your panties on.

the flash of purple lace underwear glares at him when he glances down, and suddenly he remembers what got him in this position in the first place.

“were you wearing this for him?” he lets out condescendingly, “you really think he deserved to see you like this?”

spencer’s fingers brush against your front, leaving your heavy breaths hitting him in the face. you can’t think of anything to say. hell, you’re not even sure if you know any words right now. all you can offer is a pathetic moan, and spencer doesn’t think that’s enough.

“come on, don’t get all shy now. what were you expecting him to even do, hm? thought you said he didn’t care about making you feel good.” he taunts as his middle finger traces the outlines of your cunt through your panties.

you shudder at the contact, leaning your head back against the wall as he refuses to break eye contact. he’s waiting for you to say something, raising his eyebrows expectantly as he’s slowed down his movements on you. taking a shallow breath you open your mouth, “h-, he didn’t care, just thought if i ke-, kept looking nice he’d wanna, fuck, do something.” you moan out.

“and did he?” he moved his hand back up to slowly slip into your panties.

his finger dips all the way down to your entrance to gather your wetness and spread it all the way back up to your clit, your mouth dropping open as you let out a whiny, “no.”

“what a shame.” he dips a finger into your hole and you let out a pornographic moan.

he drags his finger in and out slowly making sure to watch your face as it contorts in pleasure. once he feels you’ve gotten used to it he slips in a second finger, increasing the pace and moving his thumb to circle your clit again.

“oh fuck,” you cry.

“baby, you’re so tight.” he whispers. the way you clenched around his two digits made feel almost pussy drunk, and he wasn’t even inside you yet. he starts to wonder if damon was doing anything really to prioritize your pleasure, and it only just worked him up more. he felt more determined to bring you to finish, so he picks up the pace and increases the pressure on your clit.

you drop your head to his shoulder no longer being able to hold yourself up anymore, the sensation of his fingers on you taking over, loose whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth every other second.

“spencer…shit, i’m gonna come…”

“let go for me, baby.” he whispers in your ear.

the pleasure barrels through you like a wrecking ball, knocking the wind out of your mind and body. your legs turn into jelly and you almost fall before spencer holds you up. you try to regulate your breathing into his shoulder, hoping to calm down before you look up and meet his eyes again.

he makes that choice for you when he gingerly lifts your head up, his eyes silently asking if you’re okay. you don’t even bother responding before softly pressing your lips to his again, hoping he can feel your response to his silent question.

the kiss picks up in urgency, and soon his hands are back to exploring your body again. they slide down to the backs of your thighs while he murmurs a small, “jump.” and lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist. without breaking the kiss he walks you both to his bedroom and places you on his bed with care.

his fists flank you on both sides as he leans down to kiss you, and he moves further down kissing along your neck and chest. you reach down to the bottom of your top to pull it over your head, leaving you in the purple lacy bra that matches your panties.

he detaches from you and stands at full height, gazing at the sight of you spread out on his bed with your hair framing you like a halo. he can’t even help himself when he says, “you look so beautiful, angel.” the blush rises to your cheeks, and you beckon him to come back down to which he happily obliges.

spencer moves down further towards your hips, and his lips ghost over the lace band spreading along your waist. his fingers play with the fabric and he moves his face to be directly in line with your clothed cunt. your breathing gets heavy, and you anticipate what he’s about to do.

“wait, you don’t, you don’t have to do that, spence. i already came.” starting to feel a bit guilty at the man above you potentially feeling obligated to do this, as you realize that if he heard you on the jet, he heard about the one thing damon refused to do for you.

“sweetheart, i’d love to keep making you feel good as long as you let me, okay? you gonna let me make you feel good?” he breaths, pressing chaste kisses to your inner thighs.

you give a slight nod and he gently pulls your panties off your legs, marveling at the light glistening off your cunt. he kisses up the plush of your thighs before pausing right where you need him the most. you look down at him and meet his unwavering eyes full of love.

he places a long kiss to your core before licking a long stripe. you moan out languishly, the euphoric feeling taking over every sense in your body. you’re unable to comprehend how you went so long without feeling this, it almost feels criminal. and the way spencer was eating you out, felt like this was doing it for him too even though you were the one getting pleasured. 

it turned you on even more to know he was getting off on how much you were enjoying this. your head was spinning off into another realm, and the only thing tethering you to this reality was the grip of your hands in his hair. his tongue made circles and shapes all over your cunt before dipping down to thrust into your hole.

your thighs shake and threaten to clamp shut on his head, and he uses his wide hands to wrap around your thighs to hold them in place. “oh my god fuck, that feels so good…spence…please..” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for, but of course, spencer does when he adds a finger into your hole and moves his tongue to focus back on your clit. the combined sensations were enough to tip you over the edge for the second time tonight, your release glistening on his chin as he moved back up to kiss your lips again.

your heavy panting tries to bring you back down from your high, a mix of sweat and the taste of you lingering everywhere. 

spencer smooths your hair back as he moves his body to lie next to you, “i think, damon’s a fucking loser, if he doesn’t think that’s worth doing.” he says between pants.

you hum in agreement, or just in acknowledgement at whatever he said since you’re still reeling from the endorphin release. hiking your leg over his body to straddle him, you clumsily reach for his belt and attempt to undo the clasps to reach his growing member. you pull his pants down and palm him through his boxers, reveling in the broken moans falling from his mouth. you start inching downwards when spencer grabs you by the forearms and flips you over so you’re back on the bed staring up at him.

“not tonight, sweetheart. it’s about you right now, wanna make sure you know what you deserve.”

“but…” you pathetically respond.

“i don’t know what that neanderthal tells you, but sex is not transactional. i think if i ever see that guy again, i’d punch him for making you think otherwise.”

the words go straight to your core, turning you on even more. spencer takes note of how your pupils widen and your chin tilts up towards him.

“besides,” he presses his crotch to yours, “the sex wasn’t even that good with him, right?”

you moan out again, unable to find words to satisfy his question. he leans back up and off the bed to fully remove his boxers and you finally get a good look at what was underneath.

holy fuck, he was huge. you propped yourself on your forearms to get a better look at him, and watched as he lazily stroked himself while he sauntered back over to you. the image was so lewd, you hoped you could borrow some of his eidetic memory so you could hold on to this moment forever.

his face held a smug smirk at your awestruck one, and he felt his ego inflate even higher, “by the looks of your reaction, i’m guessing he’s never been much of a, challenge, for you in bed has he?”

you dumbly shake your head no, “definitely not as big as you.” you whisper, more to yourself than him.

his smirk grows wider, “don’t worry, baby, i’ll take real good care of you.” he says as he climbs over you to line himself up to your entrance.

you feel him slowly start to push in, the sensation of being split open growing bigger by the second. your brows furrow and your eyes are shut tight as you wait for the pressure to turn into pleasure.

if spencer thought you around his fingers had him pussydrunk, what he’s feeling now has to be close to pussy poisoning or something because he cannot think of anything in existence that feels as good as the walls of your cunt clenching around his cock. it’s taking everything in him to not break, to just fuck you senseless and reach his peak.

once his hips are flush with yours and he’s fully settled within you, he waits for you to give him the okay to move.

you, on the other hand, have never felt more full ever. damon was not nearly this big, nor has any other guy you’ve been with. it’s a bit of a miracle on how it fit inside you, and how it felt better than anything you could’ve imagined. the pressure and slight pain subsides, and with a slight nod spencer takes the cue to start moving.

the first thrust has you both moaning out in harmony together, and he sets the pace nice and slow so as to make sure you’re comfortable.

but it's not enough for you, you need him to fuck you.

“spence…harder.”

he stills at your word, leaning up so he’s perpendicular to you.

“whatever you say, princess.”

and he starts pounding into you, hips rutting at a pace you can’t even keep up with. the whimpers and moans gush out as the familiar coil begins to build within you. he taps your leg to lift it up over his shoulder to allow him deeper access, and he’s able to reach that one spot you’d heard about from all your friends, on reddit, in movies. you had no idea this type of feeling even existed, and spencer was hitting it with precision every single thrust over and over.

“fuck,” you whine.

“that feel good, baby?” he teases, “the way you’re squeezing my cock so tight, i doubt that fucker ever made you feel like this, huh?”

your tits bounce with every thrust, and the deepened angle has you reaching your climax fast. spencer feels it too and drops his head to whisper in your ear.

“i bet he’s never fucked you like this,” he continues his taunt, “he’d never be able to fuck you like i can, make you come three times in one night like i can.”

you whimper, “spencer,”

“say it, sweetheart. say no one’s ever fucked you like me.”

he was trying to kill you, death during intercourse would be a crazy way to go out but it’s a fate you’d be willing to accept. nonetheless, you comply.

“never ever, fuck, been fucked like you, baby.”

spencer has never felt more satisfied, “good girl, now come.” and with a final thrust he lets you reach your peak as he releases himself into you.

in the midst of groans he gingerly pulls out of you and you whimper at the loss.

the next few minutes are just filled with the sounds of yours and his heavy breathing, before spencer leans over to you, “was that too much?”

still in your daze you let out a soft giggle, “spencer, i think you’ve ruined all men for me.”

he smiles back, “i meant what i said, damon’s really stupid if he’s not willing to do all that for you.”

you intertwine your hand with his, “you know, i never really liked him anyway. i was just using him to get over you.”

“me?” he says incredulously.

you nod, “i didn’t know if you would’ve felt the same so i just tried to move on to someone else, stupid i know, but i don’t know it made sense then.”

he pulls you closer to rest in the crevice of his chest, “i have been into you since the day you walked into the bullpen, and letting you slip through my fingers is a mistake i will never make again.”

you hug him tightly before groaning out loud, “shit, i have to tell damon it’s over now don’t i.”

“i mean, i could tell him if you want.”

“spence, no. i think you might kill him.” you laugh, “i can do it, i just don’t want him to get all ‘organized crime’ on me.”

“just tell him i have a gun.”

“so does he?”

“mine’s bigger.” he smirks.

you roll your eyes, “well, yes.”

[alxclaremont]

meh

[luveline]

this is quite vague, sorry, but would you please write more for coworker James? maybe him and r are sneaking around to kiss or they go out or Sirius and Remus find out. Idk whatever you feel like!!

you and James at the end of a secret date | ty for requesting! fem

You kissed James because you had to. You’ve never felt that pull before, but he’d been sitting there on the step next to you, close enough to see the freckles on his nose and count them, and— well, it’s hard to explain. But you kissed him. 

So far, it’s working in your favour. 

“It’s fine,” James says, breathless where he’s kissing your neck. 

“No, I think I broke it,” you say, squirming away from him to see the lamp where it’s fallen. “Shit.”

James had been kissing you on his sofa and your arm had a mind of its own, moving backward, whacking the body of the lamp where it had been living innocently on the side table. Now it’s in five separate pieces on the floor, but James doesn’t care. 

“I’m sorry,” you say. 

“I’m not.”

You laugh, a little lost in the way he’s touching you. James isn’t being too much, despite your legs spread around his hips to let him kiss you and the slip of your stomach that’s exposed itself. He’s kissing you hard, yes, but he isn’t grabbing anything too sensitive. He isn’t initiating, just kissing. 

“No, ‘cos– ‘cos I’ve broken it, I have, I’ll have to buy you another one. It’s from IKEA, right? It’s–”

“It’s from IKEA,” James affirms, lifting his face from your neck to meet your eyes. His lips are pink from kissing, the tip of his nose ruddied. “I can get another one any hour of the day. Can you stop worrying?” 

“No.” 

James laughs and holds your cheek. “No, I guess you can’t. And I was getting ahead of myself, wasn’t I?” He turns his hand, stroking your under eye with a careful fingernail. “It’s getting late. I should drive you home.” 

You’re crestfallen, then. “Is it?” 

He checks his watch. “S’almost eleven.” 

You have work tomorrow. You’ll have to wake at 6AM. But you don’t want to leave, don’t want James to get off of you, don’t want to go back to the office where you’re still pretending to hate him. 

Not very well, mind you, but pretending all the same. 

You’re distracted from your melancholy by the marvel of him above you. His hair seems darker than ever today, black and shiny and nice to touch, a tad mussed from your hands. You smooth down each wanton curl and get a good look at his eyes. His lashes… it leaves you breathless again, how long they are, how beautiful he seems. 

You’re dating, sort of. Not together. You can’t stay the night, you haven’t fucked, and he doesn’t seem to want to yet. It’s still early days.

You aren’t sure if you’d let him fuck you here, but he hasn’t tried. You’d thought the neck kissing was a precursor, felt heat blooming in your chest and somewhere lower as he held your nape. You can imagine it easily from this position, blood rushing to warm your chest, a tizzied kiss of it to match James’ blush. He’d touch you, and you’d let him. He’d push your shirt the rest of the way up and see you clearly. 

“James…” you say softly. 

“What?” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

He strokes your cheek. Your skin stretches gently under his touch, your eye squinting closed. “What sort of something?” he whispers. 

You wanna ask why he won’t fuck you. It would make sense —isn’t that what rivalry is, heated competition with poorly hidden sexual tension? Is that what you and James had?

“I’ve been thinking about something.”

“What sort of something?” he repeats with a laugh. 

“I don’t want to say it out loud.” 

James lets your head rest against the armrest and pillow smushed behind the top of it. He leans down to kiss you, a pulling thing you can’t help following. “Then don’t say it,” he murmurs, his nose dragging up your cheek as your lips part lazily. “Maybe I can guess.” 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to.” 

“You never have any faith in me.” 

You have much more in him as of late. James has yet to let you down. You kissed him and it’s like he refuses to be cruel about it, never letting you worry, eager in his reciprocation. Things are still confusing between you because you’re avoiding a conversation you’re too afraid to start, lest he want something casual. Instead, you’ve let him drag you deeper into his caging. It will hurt twice as much to ask now. 

“It’s stupid,” you say. “Never mind.” 

“It’s not stupid.” 

“No, it was.” You scratch his scalp as you know he adores. “It’s eleven. You can kiss me for at least another half an hour.” 

If he hears the hopefulness in your voice he ignores it. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna keep you up.” 

“Well, only if you want to.” 

“I always want to kiss you, you vexing woman,” he murmurs, shivers lining your arms and spine as his lips part against your cheek. He kisses downwards, sloven, half moon kisses, lightest scratch of his teeth on your neck. “Is it too immature if I leave a mark?” he asks. 

Immature? You have no idea. “I don’t mind what you do, just not above the collar, please.” 

You grow still as he tugs at the neckline of your shirt to expose your chest. It isn’t what you meant, and you’re not about to correct him. 

“Tell me if I…” He looks up at you, smiling nicely. “Just tell me if I take it too far,” he says. “Okay?” 

He plants a kiss over your heart. You hate thinking that he can feel it, hammering, betraying your deep feelings. “Okay,” you breathe.

[whizzing-fizzbee]

Very NSFW request if you don’t mind 😂 Idk if this is sexy (I think it is lol) but can you imagine writing a fic/ one shot where they’re in 7th year, and Sebastian and MC are alone somewhere chatting, and they start talking about sex - both having some experience in this. They’re just friends (but like each other) Seb reveals quite sheepishly in convo that he cums too quickly through bjs/sex. And she… offers to help ‘coach’ him lol? Which seems insane at first but then she says that she can help him through it, how he can trust her blah blah, and it convinces him (plus I think deep down he’s dying to be with her like this, and so is she). So they do it. And I can imagine it being quite intimate, hot, and maybe kinda funny at times.

(I asked you and applin by the way. I’m not sure if you’d both want to write different takes on it, collab, or decide who should write it - but I thought I’d mention it)

Hellooo lovely! Thank you for this fun request. Here's Part I -- this'll be at least a two-, maybe three-part series, so buckle up. (:

What Are Friends For? | Part I

Sebastian Sallow x F!OC

Rating: Explicit/MDNI (smut, language); all characters are 18+ Words: ~8,300 Tags: friends with benefits, friends to lovers, sexual exploration, oral sex, semi-public sex, mutual pining, 3rd person POV

Notes: Characters are 18-year-old seventh-year Slytherins.

Read on AO3 or below the cut.

Spring had settled nicely over the Scottish Highlands, meaning Sebastian Sallow could be found outdoors. He took advantage of the favorable weather whenever he could, as the winter months tended to make him rather stir crazy. 

On this particularly warm afternoon – or at least warm by April’s standards – Sebastian lounged lazily on his back in the grass near the edge of the Great Lake. He had charmed pebbles from the lakeshore to hover above him, perfect for some Confringo target practice.

Sebastian squinted an eye as he aimed and blasted the small rocks apart, leaving little trace of their existence, until one final rock remained. Sebastian followed it with the tip of his wand, waiting for the right moment, when–

“Accio!” 

The rock zipped from the air above Sebastian straight to the open hand of Stella Alves. She smirked at Sebastian, her wand hand still outstretched as she tossed the rock lazily toward him. It bounced off his stomach and into the grass.

“There you are,” Stella said as she approached. She sank to the ground next to Sebastian, her legs outstretched as she sat back on her hands. “I thought maybe Sharp had given you detention for Friday’s incident.”

“That incident wasn’t my fault,” Sebastian drawled. “It was Weasley’s.”

“Oh? Garreth forced you to add lionfish spine to your cauldron?” Stella mused.

“No, but he left it on the table near my ingredients, and I accidentally picked some up while I was adding griffin claw,” Sebastian noted. “Not my fault.”

“Fair enough,” Stella snorted. “Guess I should’ve known you’d be out here. Though we do have that arithmancy exam to be studying for.”

“Callum’s got Violet McDowell in our dorm room,” Sebastian explained. “Can’t study in there.”

“And you can’t study in the library? Or the Undercroft?”

“I suppose,” Sebastian said with a dramatic sigh. “But it’s far too nice out to be cooped up inside.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

The pair fell quiet for a moment, interrupted only by the occasional chirps from the birds perched in the surrounding trees. They both stared outward at the lake, its shimmering surface guarding the inhabitants of its indigo depths.

“Wait,” Stella finally said with a furrowed brow. “I thought Violet was going out with Andrew.”

“That was last month, apparently.”

“Oh.”

“That doesn’t mean you should get back with your ex, by the way.”

Stella turned her head to glare at Sebastian. “And who said anything about that? Andrew and I broke up ages ago.”

“Just checking,” Sebastian said in a sing-song tone. Stella scoffed at him. 

“Do you really think that poorly of me?”

“Of course not. But I do remember how in love with Larson you were.”

“I was not!” Stella insisted, her cheeks tinged with a treasonous shade of strawberry. “It was nothing more than a harmless fling.”

Sebastian tilted his head for dramatic effect. “A harmless fling,” he deadpanned. “Stella, darling, the two of you had to be damn near pried apart with a wedge every day.”

“So?” Stella countered with narrowed eyes. “A healthy sex life is nothing to be ashamed of. You of all people should know that.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’ve no right to judge me for any of my past romantic encounters.”

“Oh, that’s what we’re calling them now,” Sebastian snickered. Stella smacked him gently on the back of the head.

“Sounds like you’re just bitter that you’re not the one in your dorm room with Violet McDowell,” she teased. Sebastian barked a sharp laugh.

“Darling, I’ve had Violet McDowell,” he noted. “Twice. Maybe three times. Can’t remember.”

“Charming,” Stella muttered blankly. Sebastian flashed her a cheeky grin. “Is there anyone you haven’t defiled?” Stella demanded.

“Other than you? Maybe a handful,” Sebastian chirped. He laughed at Stella’s disgusted expression. “Only joking, doll. Despite your harsh and judgmental assumptions, I haven’t made it a point to bed half of Hogwarts.”

“Oh? Then how many of our classmates have you had?”

They were inching toward tricky territory. Sure, Stella and Sebastian talked about sex, but they rarely revealed explicit details. Doing so always felt too suggestive, too flirtatious; it crossed an unspoken line that the pair avoided at all costs. But Stella had grown tired of the boys Hogwarts had to offer. It made her impatient and impulsive. Sebastian was the last man standing, because he was truly the only one standing – the one man she wanted and couldn’t have.

Meanwhile, Sebastian swallowed. He and Stella kept very few secrets from one another. After all, Stella had kept quiet about Sebastian’s sinister slip-up their fifth year, meaning Sebastian’s secrets couldn’t get much worse.

But there was one, tiny thing he didn’t want Stella to know. It was a secret that caused him constant stress, fearful that one of their female classmates would spill it. That was why Sebastian sometimes embellished his sexual escapades – to conceal the embarrassing occurrences that made him insecure.

“A-are you really asking me how many girls I’ve been with?” Sebastian asked, hopeful his tone sounded more amused than anxious.

“Why not?” Stella challenged. She, too, silently prayed her confidence was masking her pounding heart. “I’ll tell you the same.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. Now this was an intriguing offer. Though he knew Stella had sexual experience, she had never disclosed just how many of their classmates she’d granted such a privilege. 

But that would also mean revealing his own number of past partners. And while he would never judge Stella for her number, whatever it was, he feared she’d judge him for his. It wasn’t nearly as high as he often implied, though he’d never explicitly revealed it.

“All right,” Sebastian finally agreed. “Out with it then.”

Stella blanched. “What? No, you have to go first.”

“That hardly seems fair.”

“Fine. On the count of three?”

“Fine. One, two… three– four,” Sebastian revealed. He couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Stella said the same.

“Well?” Stella demanded with narrowed eyes. “What is it?”

Sebastian frowned in confusion. “I told you – four.”

“Oh. I thought you were still counting.”

“No, four is… is the number.”

“Oh.”

Sebastian suddenly felt like he was going to be sick. He wasn’t sure how Stella would react, but certainly not like that. Not with a simple, anticlimactic oh.

“Oh?” he demanded. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Stella’s cheeks were deep crimson now. “Nothing,” she said quickly, her voice squeaking several octaves higher than usual. “It’s just… I just…” Her eyes suddenly became fascinated by her own shoes. “I just thought yours would be higher, is all.”

“Why do you sound disappointed?”

“I’m not!” Stella insisted. “I mean, it’s not like it matters. It’s not like I care. I’m just surprised, is all.”

“Did you really think I’ve been with half the school?”

“Maybe not that many,” Stella said as she fidgeted uncomfortably. “Just more than me.”

“It’s not a competition,” Sebastian laughed. 

“I know that! I just- I really thought yours would be higher.”

“You really think I’m like that?”

“You know I don’t,” Stella huffed. “I just thought you were way more experienced than me.”

“Why, you want me to teach you a few things?”

“Sebastian!”

“Only joking, darling.”

Sebastian could sense the shift in their connection. Stella was genuinely surprised by his revelation, and seemed to feel guilty for it. Sebastian, ever the protector of Stella and her feelings, decided some vulnerability might relieve her discomfort.

“You’d be surprised,” Sebastian said, his eyes decisively avoiding hers. “By my experience – or lack of. It’s… it’s not been easy for me.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Stella asked with a curious gaze that Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to meet. 

“It means that sometimes… I struggle,” Sebastian said carefully. Stella clearly wasn’t catching on, because she was staring at him in utter confusion. 

“Struggle with what?” 

“With… sex,” Sebastian answered through a clenched jaw. He couldn’t believe he was revealing any of this to her of all people. He could have sworn he’d dig an early grave before ever admitting this, especially to the one and only girl whose opinion actually mattered to him.

“How do you mean?” Stella had now turned to face him fully, her attention clearly engrossed by this exchange.

Sebastian chickened out. “The details aren’t important,” he said, unable to quell the surge in fear that gripped his nerves.

“Seb, it’s me,” Stella said in her best encouraging tone. In truth, it only made Sebastian more uneasy. “You can tell me.”

There was no turning back from this. They hadn’t just toed the boundary, they’d leapt over it with a running start. Sebastian sighed.

“Sometimes I… finish quicker than I’d like,” he said through gritted teeth. Silence answered him. He considered flinging himself into the lake and sinking to its onyx depths, never to return and never to address such an embarrassing revelation.

“I see,” Stella finally said tactfully. Sebastian’s insecurities weren’t squashed.

“Yeah,” was all he could manage. The wheels in Stella’s head were turning at breakneck speed, desperate to find the right words. She was stunned. She’d never met someone as confident and self-assured as Sebastian. Though his bravado sometimes stoked her ire, she’d always assumed it carried over into the bedroom.

It was a vulnerable admission and Stella was touched to know Sebastian trusted her with it.

“Does… does it happen every time?” she asked gently.

Sebastian shrugged. “Not every time. But more often than I’d like to admit.”

“Oh.” Stella bit her lip, unsure how to proceed, but even more unsure of just how much information she was willing to seek. The thought – the dreadfully detailed visions – of Sebastian doing those acts with their classmates made Stella want to drive her own wand through her right temple. “Is it… do you think it’s because you’re just… excited to be with them?”

Sebastian began to sweat. Beads formed over his brow and hairline as he shifted in his spot on the grass. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I mean, it’s always exciting for me. I am an 18-year-old bloke, after all. But it’s not like I’ve ever been too enamored with any of the girls I’ve been with. Especially since I’ve been with a few of them more than once.”

“I see.”

“I guess maybe I just overthink it.” Sebastian was rambling now. His brain screamed at him to stop talking, that shutting the fuck up would be his best bet, but untamed words kept pouring from his mouth. “And maybe overthinking it makes me tense up. And maybe all that tension makes it hard for me to… contain myself.”

“I see.” Stella was quite aware that she wasn’t contributing much to the discussion at this point, but she couldn’t speak freely. She couldn’t tell Sebastian she was secretly relieved he hadn’t had dozens of girls in his bed. She couldn’t reveal that she wanted to be one of those girls. And she certainly couldn’t tell him that his admission only made her want him more.

Could she?

What if there was a way she could get what she had always wanted without admitting it? Would that be wrong and deceitful? She wouldn’t act without Sebastian’s full consent, but would it be wrong to initiate sex with him when she was secretly in love with him? And what if doing so made her fall even harder for him? 

Or worse, what if she offered and he said no?

But would it be so wrong for two friends to rely on each other to improve their natural desires to be good in bed? And shouldn’t two friends be the ideal participants in something as simple as self-improvement? 

Stella’s silence was driving Sebastian mad. He began to wonder how immoral it would be to obliviate her and make her forget they’d ever had such a conversation. But just as he was reminding himself that doing so was absolutely demented, she smiled kindly at him.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll sort it all out in time,” she said, hoping he understood her sincerity. “Maybe you just need a little more practice.”

“Er, right,” Sebastian agreed. Shame creeped across his cheeks in the form of a deep blush. He felt like an absolute fool. Surely, she must think he was a pathetic, sorry excuse of a man – an amateur who had no idea how to please a woman. And surely, she’d never see him on a romantic level now.

But Sebastian noticed that Stella was chewing thoughtfully on her bottom lip. He waited for her to speak her mind, squirming as he fought to suppress his impatience.

Stella was working up the courage to propose something so bold, so forbidden, she’d surely die if Sebastian said no. And there was a very good chance he would. After all, they’d formed an impenetrable bond over the last near-three years. If Sebastian had any romantic interest in her, he would have certainly acted upon his feelings, right? 

Such a proposition could absolutely disintegrate their friendship. But this might be Stella’s only shot at exploring Sebastian Sallow in the one way she’d never known. She willed herself to be bold enough to take a chance.

“What if…” she began slowly, her palms sweating as she spoke. “What if I helped you practice?”

Her offer hovered in the air between them, a heavy haze that damn near made Sebastian choke as he processed the words. He had to have heard wrong. 

“Wh-what?” he said stupidly. “Practice what?”

“You know,” Stella said, fighting to maintain a casual air though her breathless words betrayed her. “Sex. I could help you practice.”

Sebastian shifted, certain that doing so would wake him from the very obvious dream he was having. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d dreamt of Stella in such a shameful manner. There was no other explanation for this. In no other realm of possibility would his best friend and the object of his unrequited desires be offering to have sex with him. But he wasn’t waking up. There were no bed curtains mocking him to remind him he was alone. There was no cold sweat or arousal that would need relieving in the boys’ showers. This was real.

“A-and how exactly would we do that?” Sebastian stuttered.

“We could just practice,” Stella said simply. “I could, you know, coach you through things. Different acts and positions and whatnot. We could practice them together until you, you know, gain more confidence.” When Sebastian didn’t immediately reply, it was Stella’s turn to babble on anxiously. “I just figure it makes sense, you know? We help each other out with everything else. It wouldn’t have to be any different than how we practice dueling together, or study together, right?”

But it would be different. They both knew that. But they were both too driven by desire to think better of it.

“And you’d… you’d be okay doing all that?” Sebastian asked softly. “With me?”

“Why not?” Stella offered boldly, though her shaking hands suggested otherwise. “I mean, we trust each other, right?”

“Right.”

“So why not? It seems like this could benefit us both. We can learn from each other, like everything else we do.”

Sebastian wasn’t sure how to respond. Of course he was going to say yes. He knew this arrangement could send their entire friendship spiraling south, but he was too desperate to know how it would feel to be with Stella to say no. This was his one and only chance to feel her, and to potentially convince her to consider him romantically. He could sweep her off her feet and make it impossible for her to think of anyone else.

Except there was that tiny, little problem of his inability to last long enough to prove himself to her. 

But if there was one thing Sebastian couldn’t resist (other than Stella), it was a challenge. He would learn. He’d figure it out or die trying. If this was his only shot at winning Stella over, he’d find a way, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to squander it.

But he also didn’t want to appear too eager. He didn’t want Stella to know he’d spent damn near every night dreaming about her in ways that would make her hair curl. She couldn’t know he’d spent day in and day out scheming ways to make her fall for him. He couldn’t let her know he was hopelessly, haphazardly in love with her.

“Well, I do suppose we tend to work together on everything else,” Sebastian mused carefully. 

“Do you… find me attractive enough that you could… you know…” Stella paused, terrified to ask such a question. “Become aroused.”

“Huh? Oh! Erm, of course.” The moment Sebastian answered, he wanted to sink into the ground, never to be seen again. But how else was he supposed to answer such a loaded question?

Stella was fucking stunning. Surely, she knew that. Surely, Sebastian didn’t have to tell her so. But he wanted to more than anything. He wanted to yank her by the collar of her shirt, pull her in close and tell her she was so beautiful, it made the heart inside his chest hurt and scream for relief.

“You’re beautiful, Stell. Do… do you find me, er, handsome enough to… you know?” Sebastian stammered.

Stella rolled her eyes. It was her most common defensive mechanism, her strongest veil for her insecurities. “Seb, come on,” she said, gazing at him with a pointed stare. She blinked for emphasis. “All the girls in our year practically fling themselves at you in hopes you’ll make them your wife when we graduate. You have to know you’re handsome.”

“Was just making sure.” 

And then came the silence. It squeezed itself around them until both of their airways felt constricted.

“So, are you saying you want to try it then?” Stella finally had the nerve to ask. She tucked her hands beneath her thighs in an attempt to keep herself from fiddling with her hair. It was her common tell for nervousness.

“I do if you do,” Sebastian replied, far too aware of the tightening sensation happening within his trousers. All this talk of sex was forcing the blood to rush from his brain to the one place he didn’t want Stella to see. But she’d see it all soon enough. 

“Alright,” Stella said with an air of forced confidence that she prayed sounded sexy and alluring. “When would you like to start?”

“Um, whenever it’s convenient for you.” Sebastian wanted to smack his palm against his forehead. He was speaking like he was in a formal job interview or having tea with the Minister of Magic, not agreeing to sex with his own best friend.

“We could start now,” Stella offered shyly. She glanced downward at the tent forming in Sebastian’s lap. Sebastian reddened even more.

“Oh. Okay, sure.”

Stella swallowed. This was it. She and Sebastian were going to plunge into the very risky waters of intimacy. But more importantly, he trusted her enough to guide him through one of life’s most personal, vulnerable endeavors. She wanted to get this right.

“We could use the Beasts classroom,” Stella offered. There were no classes that day. There’d be no reason for anyone to go anywhere near the classroom. At least that’s what Sebastian told himself as he found himself nodding in agreement.

Stella climbed to her feet and brushed loose blades of grass from the backs of her legs. It was then that Sebastian noticed how her skirt clung to her thighs. The pressure in his pants mounted.

Stella offered him her hand to help him up, her eyes averted as she led him toward the empty Beasts classroom. When they reached Professor Howin’s desk, Stella finally gathered the nerve to look Sebastian in the eye. Her gaze softened as she realized he was just as nervous as she was. The ever-confident Sebastian Sallow was unsure.

They didn’t speak at first, staring at one another as they both waited for the other to initiate action. Finally, Stella cleared her throat.

“Maybe we should start small,” she offered gently. “You know, foreplay stuff. Does that… does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sebastian croaked.

Stella’s eyes shifted to Sebastian’s very evident erection. Her breath hitched at the notion that it was all for her; because of her. She’d touched herself in the quiet solitude of her bed to the very thought on countless occasions.

As Stella subconsciously ran her tongue across her bottom lip in thought, Sebastian clenched his jaw. His cock was pressing far too hard against the stiff fabric of his trousers for his liking, and the sight of Stella looking so fucking seductive was already testing his control.

“Maybe you should lean back against the desk?” Stella suggested. Sebastian obeyed without a word. Stella stepped toward him, her nerves still evident as she slowly lifted a hand to reach toward Sebastian’s erection. “May I…”

Sebastian nodded silently, too terrified that words would ruin the moment. Stella eyed him for a moment longer until her fingertips traced gently along the length of Sebastian’s erection. He inhaled sharply through his nose.

“I’ll go slow,” Stella whispered. Her fingers moved with tact over his taut trousers, tracing tantalizing lines over him. She suppressed a moan as she realized just how hard – and big – he was. She could swear she felt Sebastian’s cock twitch beneath her touch. “Does that feel good?” she asked innocently.

Sebastian nodded slowly, his failing attempts at controlling his breathing evident.

“I’m going to pick up the pace,” Stella warned, her eyes searching Sebastian’s for any indication he wanted her to stop. Instead, he nodded earnestly. “Tell me if it’s too much. Just… just keep breathing.”

She stroked his length faster, the friction of the fabric rough beneath the pads of her fingers. A grunt rumbled from Sebastian’s throat.

He knew this would be difficult. It always was. But he hadn’t properly accounted for the fact that this was Stella touching him. The way she was determined to take care of him, the way her voice purred as she spoke… it all made his self-control even slimmer. He was terrified he was going to embarrass himself.

“Relax,” Stella ordered gently. “Remember, it’s just me, Seb. Trust me.”

She clearly had no idea how much she affected Sebastian. So as she gazed at him with a soft, doe-eyed stare, Sebastian’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the desk behind him. 

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut as he fought for control over his body. He didn’t want to tense, certain that would result in an accident. But when he felt Stella’s fingers fumbling with the button of his trousers, his eyes shot open wide and his spine straightened.

“Alright?” Stella asked, her voice raspier than usual. Sebastian pretended not to notice and nodded his reply. His throat dried as he watched Stella reach inside his open trousers and fish his erection out. It popped eagerly from the fabric, but remained rigid in Stella’s hand. Sebastian held his breath as he watched her fingers curl around him before she began to stroke him with her soft hand. The surreal sight felt like a vision only meant for one of Sebastian’s most explicit dreams.

Sebastian cursed under his breath at the sensation. It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been touched like this, but this was Stella. This actually meant something, because she meant everything.

“Relax,” Stella repeated. “Stop tensing so much. It’s just me.” She flashed him a reassuring smile, unaware that her curved lips and bright eyes were Sebastian’s very undoing. “Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, okay?”

Sebastian nodded and obeyed, exhaling until his shoulders slackened and the tightness in his abdomen eased.

“Now close your eyes,” Stella added. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered shut. “Tell me what you feel.”

“I feel… fuck, that feels so good,” Sebastian breathed. 

“Tell me. Describe it.”

“Huh?”

“Just do what I say, you git.”

Sebastian wasn’t sure how describing their current sex act would help, but he certainly was in no position to argue. The only position he wanted to be in was on top of – or beneath – Stella, preferably with much less clothing between them.

“Your hands… they’re smooth,” Sebastian murmured with closed eyes. “Warm, too.”

“What do you usually think about when you come?”

Sebastian resisted the urge to pop open a panicked eye. He couldn’t exactly tell Stella that the answer was always her. He couldn’t possibly explain that picturing her plump lips, curious eyes and the curve of her full hips was always the tipping point that sent his body into a euphoric state. She couldn’t know she was the cause for his filthiest behavior. 

“Erm, I don’t know,” Sebastian lied. “I think about lots of different things.” He grunted as he felt Stella’s thumb swipe over the tip of his cock. 

“How’s this feel?” Stella asked, her hand pumping harder. 

“S-so good,” Sebastian panted. 

“Do you feel like you’re going to… you know?”

“I-I don’t know.”

Stella’s line of questioning stopped for a moment as she continued to stroke him. She was thankful Sebastian’s closed eyes couldn’t see the flush creeping over her, or the way her eyes lingered on his cock. He felt like velvet and looked like he was big enough to fill her completely – and then some. It made the ache between her thighs throb.

Stella watched as Sebastian’s chest began to rise and fall, his labored breaths audible inside the classroom. He didn’t notice as Stella fell to her knees, her hand still dragging around his shaft.

Sebastian’s eyes shot open again the moment he felt the moisture of her mouth surrounding him. This was a display beyond anything he could envision – such a sinful act performed by an angelic figure was a paradox his brain could never conjure. It was enough to make him moan. 

“Remember to breathe, okay?” Stella said, her eyes peering up at him. She returned her lips to his cock and Sebastian bit back a groan as they tugged around his tip. 

The classroom soon filled with the coarse sounds of lips pulling around wet skin. Sebastian’s hands tangled in Stella’s hair, tightening as the coil inside him did the same. He was careening toward the edge, unsure how to stop himself.

He tried to breathe through it, but he was far beyond the threshold of sensory overload. The feeling of Stella’s mouth hungrily engulfing his cock, the vision of her on her knees before him, the sounds of her gurgling around his length – Sebastian was sure there wasn’t a single soul who would be immune to such divine sensations.

“Stella,” Sebastian panted. “I can’t-”

Stella hummed, the vibrations coursing around Sebastian’s cock until he was surging toward his ending. He didn’t want this to stop, but couldn’t help but feel impressed with himself for lasting as long as he had, especially given the circumstances.

“Stella…” Sebastian repeated. The warning merely spurred Stella on. She was eager to prove to him just how worthy she was to coach him through this. She'd show him just how good she could be at this - better than Violet McDowell or any other dumb girl who dared to approach Sebastian. Her cheeks hollowed and she sucked harder, her eyes watering as Sebastian’s tip dabbed the back of her throat. 

Sebastian let out a sharp shout, his hips jutting forward as his cock twitched. The small of his back pressed against the edge of the desk as he spilled into Stella’s mouth. Her throat closed around his tip, the warmth of her flesh guiding his release downward as she swallowed.

When it was over, Stella released him, his cock bobbing as it popped from her mouth. She remained on her knees while Sebastian caught his breath, his chest quietly rising and falling as he slumped against the desk. 

They didn’t speak. Sebastian quelled the urge to thank Stella, to praise her and tell her how fucking good she was, while Stella withheld the desire to beg Sebastian for more.

“You alright?” Sebastian finally asked, his eyes searching Stella for any signs that she was upset. But she smiled upward at him and nodded assuredly. 

Sebastian extended a hand to help her to her feet until the pair stood, the awkward silence exposing their uncertainty on how to proceed. But Stella reminded herself that she had promised to help Sebastian, and she was never one to back out on her word.

“So how was that?” she asked casually as Sebastian tucked himself back into his trousers.

Sebastian’s brain stuttered. The truth was it was the most incredible encounter he’d ever had, simply because he’d shared it with her. But that kind of honesty would surely sever whatever this was – and the entirety of their friendship.

“It was… you… you’re brilliant,” Sebastian finally managed, still shocked that such a lewd act had just occurred with the girl he'd deemed his best friend for more than two years. Stella seemed content with his analysis.

“I think the problem is you’re just so damn tense the entire time,” she noted. It was bizarre to be assessing a sexual encounter with her best friend like they were discussing quidditch tactics, but she had offered to coach him, hadn’t she?

But her evaluation had fallen on deaf ears, because now, Sebastian’s guilt was dissecting his brain. 

“You didn’t… I didn’t…” he started, his voice trailing off. “...How can I repay the favor?”

“You don’t need to,” Stella said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Not this time.”

Sebastian frowned – mostly because he didn’t want to be greedy, but also because he was desperate to touch her and wouldn’t forgive himself if he missed the opportunity to do so. He had to know how she felt, so yielding beneath his touch, how she moaned, how she looked when she fell apart at his orchestration.

“Please,” Sebastian pressed. “I can’t let you walk away without your share.”

Stella snorted. “Seb, really, it’s fine,” she promised. “You can make it up to me later.” She smirked as she smoothed out her skirt. “I’m pretty sure we’re just getting started.”

—

Sebastian was certain the entire afternoon had been some kind of demented dream when he woke up the following morning. But the details were far too vivid in his memory to have been a figment of his imagination; Stella’s fingers tracing over every ridge of his cock, her lips raw and red after they had wrapped around him, the plush sensation of her throat hugging his tip. It was better than any dream.

But now, how was he meant to face her? Guilt had clawed away at him the entire evening for not returning the favor. Now, all he could think about was how eager he was to do so. And what about their friendship? Had they really been stupid enough to jeopardize their entire bond all because of some suppressed sexual tension?

The war within his head made Sebastian want to sink into his porridge at breakfast. Ominis, sensing his friend’s tension, raised an eyebrow from the seat across from him.

“Alright mate?” Ominis asked. But Sebastian was too busy straightening in his seat to hear him. Stella was approaching the Slytherin table.

“Good morning,” she said breezily as she took the seat next to Ominis. Sebastian watched as she reached for a pastry, his eyes glued to her hands – those same hands that grabbed at his cock just hours before. He swallowed.

“Morning,” he managed. His eyes searched Stella for any indication of awkward tension, but she seemed as calm and content as ever.

“Have you two studied for tomorrow’s arithmancy exam?” Ominis asked. 

“No,” Stella said as she shook her head, her right cheek puffed out from a large bite of pastry. “Not yet. Haven’t had the time.”

“Me neither,” Sebastian chimed in.

“Haven’t had the time? What were the two of you doing all day yesterday? I didn’t see either of you after lunch,” Ominis said suspiciously. Stella shrugged while Sebastian began to spiral toward a panic attack. 

“Oh, we went to Hogsmeade,” Stella explained with casual ease. “I rescued a handful of diricrawl the other day and took them to Brood and Peck.” 

Sebastian blinked. It was rather alarming – and impressive – how easily the lie left Stella’s lips. Of course, Ominis wouldn’t mind if he learned his two closest friends had spent an afternoon engaged in illicit sex acts, but none of it actually meant anything, right? Meaning there was no point in disclosing such details to Ominis.

Sebastian was pulled from his spiraling thoughts when Stella’s stare shifted to him. “Perhaps we can study tonight?” she asked him. Her eyes glimmered pointedly and Sebastian picked up on her implication.

“Er, yeah,” he agreed as his stomach performed a series of somersaults. “Tonight.”

“Well, as enthralling as it would be to pour over charts tonight, I’ll have to leave you two to it,” Ominis prattled on, unaware that no one would be studying numerical values that evening. “I’ve got to pen an ancient runes essay and I promised to help Violet McDowell.”

Sebastian couldn’t help but snicker. “That all you’re helping her with, mate?”

Ominis scowled as Stella snorted. “Unlike some people, I actually care about my studies,” he said, his tone taking on a self-righteous air. “Right, Stella?”

Sebastian couldn’t help but bite back a laugh as Stella nearly choked on her pumpkin juice. “Oh, right you are, Ominis,” she said as she stole a quick glance at Sebastian. “Some of us are quite dedicated to our studies.”

Sebastian smirked into his own juice.

—

Hours later, Sebastian found himself pacing outside of the library. Stella had instructed him to meet her there, which sent Sebastian into a confused, manic state.

Had she decided she’d no longer help him with his little problem? Had yesterday been a letdown? Had she expected more from him? Why weren’t they meeting someplace more private? Had Sebastian misread Stella’s eyes? Were they actually going to study? He’d left all his books in his dormitory.

“Hey.”

Sebastian looked up to see Stella approaching. She wore another skirt that barely draped from her curves, making it difficult for Sebastian to focus on much else – though the top button of her blouse had popped open, serving as another excruciating distraction.

“Hey,” Sebastian croaked. Stella raised an amused eyebrow at him.

“Alright?” she asked.

Sebastian nodded. “Ready to… study?” 

Something flickered in Stella’s eyes that told Sebastian books and notes were not on the evening’s itinerary. “Ready,” she said, hoping she sounded more intriguing than nervous.

She started toward the nearest library door and Sebastian followed as she descended the staircase. The library was quiet, even for its usual standards. A small group of students sat at the right table, anxiously shuffling through Transfiguration notes. A fifth-year girl sat quietly in one corner, a romance novel open in her lap, while Duncan Hobhouse was flipping through an Herbology book at a table to himself.

“Come on,” Stella whispered as she led Sebastian to a table at the far end of the library, free from any students. She gathered an armful of books from the nearest shelf and dropped them on the table, her chair quietly scraping against the wood floor. She opened one to a random page to make it appear as if she was studying.

Sebastian took the seat next to her, his knees feeling wobbly as he lowered himself. He sat with a stiff back, his posture uncharacteristically prim and proper. It made Stella smirk.

“Relax!” she hissed quietly, one hand finding the top of Sebastian’s left knee beneath the table. It was anything but soothing. The muscles of Sebastian’s thighs went rigid and Stella gave his knee a gentle squeeze. His trousers were already feeling tight. Stella snuck a sideways glance at Sebastian, who was holding his breath. “If you make it through this test, I’ll reward you with something even better.”

Merlin, help him. He was a goner.

Stella slid a book in front of him. “Here,” she instructed. “Pretend you’re reading this.”

If her hand hadn’t been wandering up his leg, Sebastian would have laughed. It was an Introduction to Dueling book meant for first-years.

Sebastian flipped the book open to its center pages and focused on the words to keep himself from reacting to Stella’s hand, which was presently exploring his inner thigh. He gripped the edge of the table when it found his erection.

“How are you so hard already?” Stella whispered in his ear. Sebastian shot her a sideways glare.

“Kind of difficult to be anything but hard when you’re making lofty promises,” he growled back.

The friction of Stella’s hand running over the fabric of Sebastian’s trousers was just as glorious and agonizing as it had been the day before. Sebastian began to wonder if he was a hopeless case; a lost cause, meant to live his days in misery because he was too infatuated with his best friend to focus on their “practice.”

Stella shuffled in her seat and before Sebastian could react, she was unbuttoning his pants. 

“Are you mad?” he hissed. Stella merely shrugged.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“...No.”

"That's what I thought."

Stella’s hand disappeared, her fingers grazing the skin of Sebastian’s waist before they found the base of his cock inside his pants. Sebastian chewed his bottom lip to stifle a groan. Stella traced a teasing finger down the full length of his shaft until it found the tip, where she made tiny circular motions. Her movements were slow and tantalizing, signaling her genuine intent to help Sebastian learn to withstand such pleasure.

But the forbidden nature of their act was making it far too difficult for Sebastian to focus on the task at hand. The thrill of sharing such a salacious moment with Stella made his heightened arousal evident in his flushed cheeks and strained breathing. Stella seemed to notice he was struggling, because her strokes around his cock became slower and gentler.

“Close your eyes,” she hummed quietly. Sebastian nodded and let his eyelids flutter shut. Stella squirmed against her chair, her own arousal testing her patience. As much as she enjoyed the power of controlling Sebastian’s ultimate undoing, she was desperate for her own. She wanted nothing more than for him to treat her the same.

But for now, Stella was content with studying Sebastian’s face. She gazed at him in quiet adoration, her eyes scanning his flushed cheeks and the locs of tousled hair that had fallen out of place. She watched as his jaw clenched and unclenched with certain strokes of his cock, particularly the way the muscles strained whenever her thumb pressed against his tip. She would have sold her soul to merely climb into his lap and kiss every freckle on his face.

Her focus on Sebastian’s handsome features forced Stella’s attention to falter. Just as she found herself wondering if Sebastian was good with his own hands, Sophronia Franklin rounded a corner and strode into view.

Stella jumped, her surprise causing her fist to squeeze around Sebastian’s shaft as her elbow smashed against the table with a sharp bang. She swore loudly as the pain stung through her arm while Sebastian yelped, his eyes popping open in surprise.

Stella did her best to remain still, her palm pressed against Sebastian’s cock as she smiled politely at Sophronia, who was studying the pair with a quizzical stare. Stella returned her eyes to the book in front of her, pretending to think critically about the prose on its pages.

“Perhaps this spell would conjure manacles to bind the person on the receiving end,” she mused loud enough for Sophronia to hear. But her plan backfired, as Sophronia stopped in her tracks to double back.

“Were you two just talking about the alternate form of Incarcerous?” she asked curiously. She stood about three feet from the table, seemingly oblivious to the debauchery occurring beneath it.

“Oh,” Stella blinked. ���Um, sort of. But doesn’t Incarcerous conjure ropes?”

“It does.” Sophronia nodded in approval of Stella’s knowledge. “But a modified version of the spell can conjure manacles.”

“Manacles,” Stella repeated blankly.

“Yes. You know, like shackles used for fastening hands or ankles,” Sophronia offered.

“Right.” 

“I can’t imagine what one would use them for nowadays,” Sophronia continued. “But I suppose they have their uses.”

“Can’t imagine,” Sebastian chimed in tersely through gritted teeth. Stella squeezed her hand gently to send a message. Sebastian wheezed.

“I suppose manacles might be a bit sturdier than rope,” Sophronia rattled on. “Much more secure, at least. They’d certainly be more likely to keep people in their place.”

“How wonderful for them,” Stella said stupidly.

Sophronia, seemingly bored with the rather one-sided discussion, shrugged and spun on her heels to continue toward the spiral staircase. Stella and Sebastian sat in still silence as she ascended, waiting in searing agony until her footsteps faded.

“Fucking hell,” Sebastian whined, his shoulders slumping forward. “Can you be more careful?” 

Stella clearly found the encounter more amusing than unsettling. She shot Sebastian a sheepish smile, which instantly dissolved his aggravation.

“Sorry,” she offered. “My bad. Didn’t notice her coming.”

“Yeah well, keep it up and she won’t be the only one.”

Stella snorted, eliciting a shush from Sebastian, who was looking positively distressed. 

“We should probably move,” Stella noted, her eyes scanning the area for any more potential intruders. “Consider this the passage of your test and the start of your reward. I’ve got just the place.”

“We can’t risk the Restricted Section just yet,” Sebastian said. “It’s too early. Scribner’s still around.”

“Not the Restricted Section,” Stella said as she removed her hand from Sebastian’s trousers. He swallowed a whimper at the sudden absence of her touch. “I know a better place.”

She waited for Sebastian to adjust his clothing before she stood, the books forgotten on the tabletop. She made a sweeping glance around the room before brandishing her wand to apply a disillusionment charm. Sebastian blinked at her invisible form and followed suit. 

“Where are you? I can’t follow you if I can’t see you,” he hissed. The sudden feeling of Stella’s hand closing around his wrist was his answer. Stella guided him quietly across the library toward the fireplace.

“Glacius,” Stella breathed. The flames dissolved and she tugged Sebastian through the fireplace to the small, discreet room on the other side to shed her disillusionment spell. “See? Told you this is better.”

“How the hell did you even find this place?” Sebastian demanded as his own disillusionment charm fell. He gazed around the space, impressed by the tapestries on the walls and furniture in the corner.

“Shh!” Stella clapped a hand over his mouth and shot him a sharp look. “No one can see us but they can still hear us. Remember, we’re in the library so silencing charms won’t work.”

“Still one of Scribner’s most asinine ideas,” Sebastian muttered. 

Stella whispered “Incendio” to reignite the flames in the fireplace, closing them in and guarding them from any wandering passerby. When she turned to face Sebastian again, her eyes drifted downward. His trousers were still tented. Now completely alone, Stella’s mind began to run wild with ideas of all the things she wanted to do with him.

“Wait,” Sebastian whispered as Stella reached to unbutton his pants again. He stopped her with a gentle hand around her wrist. “When do I get to return the favor for you?”

Stella squeezed her thighs together. The thought of Sebastian touching her had been burning between her legs for quite some time.  “Now, if you want.”

Sebastian didn’t hesitate. His hands snapped to her waist and he pulled her closer. “Now’s as good a time as any,” he murmured. He nudged her gently toward the armchair in the corner, guiding her backward until the backs of her legs met the seat. Stella sat and Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of her. 

His hands skimmed beneath the hem of her skirt and over her porcelain thighs. The heat between them made his cock stir with desire. As Sebastian bunched her skirt up around her waist, Stella held her breath. His eyes settled on the damp spot at the center of her panties. He stared for a moment as he mustered the courage to touch her.

It was finally happening. He was going to discover the depths of Stella he’d assumed were only reserved for his dreams. But he could feel himself starting to freeze, gripped by his insecurities that he wouldn’t be able to impress her. 

As Stella caught his gaze, Sebastian could feel his intensity soften. She smiled at him, her warmth radiating through him with a sense of comfort only she could offer. Sebastian decided he wasn’t going to leave that library until he had Stella squirming from his touch.

He planted a trail of kisses up Stella’s right thigh. He could hear her inhale sharply, her hips lifting off the chair as the ache became unbearable within her core.

Sebastian’s hands drifted toward her hips, peeling the waistband of her panties downward until they pooled around her ankles. The sight of her soaked entrance ignited an invigorating surge of avidity in him. He’d fling himself into the flames of that fireplace before he allowed anyone to deny him a taste.

But first, he needed to touch her. He had to know how soft, how slick she felt. When his thumb made contact with her clit, Stella whimpered. He pressed against it, the pink flesh warm, wet and arousing. 

Sebastian swiped his thumb, drawing a soft moan of approval from Stella. He began dragging his thumb back and forth in a steady rhythm while he sank a slow finger inside her. The surge of moisture surrounding his finger made Sebastian curse under his breath. There was no way he’d last long enough to bend Stella over the desk like he wanted, but if there was one thing he would ensure, it was to make Stella moan his name by any means possible.

Sebastian’s index finger pulled upward against her front wall as his thumb continued its assault on her clit. The fireplace room soon filled with the lewd sound of slick flesh, but the library’s visitors remained none the wiser.

Stella’s knees parted more as Sebastian added a second finger inside her, dipping and dragging against her walls in desperate determination to incite her undoing.

“God, Sebastian,” she breathed, her fingers gripping the armrests as she clenched her cunt around his fingers to coax her release. Sebastian hastened his movements, his fingers dabbing at the sensitive and spongy flesh until Stella was practically riding his hand. 

She let out a quiet whine as her hips lifted off the chair, grinding her cunt around Sebastian’s fingers until she was hurtling toward her pinnacle. The pressure within her core mounted, her walls pulling greedily at Sebastian’s fingers until they began to quiver. 

Stella unleashed a breathy hiss as she climaxed, her thighs clamped around Sebastian’s fingers in an attempt to prolong her peak. Her walls pulsed as his fingers continued to beckon. When the quaking subsided, she was breathless and sweaty, albeit fully satisfied.

But Sebastian wasn’t. Now, it was time for a taste.

Stella flinched when Sebastian’s tongue made contact with her sensitive entrance, but her hands immediately pulled at his hair, demanding more from him. Sebastian lapped at her folds and hummed in arousal at her taste. The pressure in his pants was excruciating.

His tongue flattened against her clit, pressing and prodding until Stella’s legs were shaking.

“Sebastian,” she panted, unsure if she could withstand the sensitivity between her thighs. But the way her hips were jutting upward, pressing her entrance against his tongue, told him she wanted more.

He drove his tongue harder against her clit, forcing it in swift, short swipes until Stella’s feet were kicking from the pleasure swelling inside her nerve endings. 

Her back arched and her nails sank into the back of Sebastian’s neck as heat sprawled across her cunt, its ripples triggering a blissful shriek from her. Sebastian was too preoccupied to address the sinful sounds threatening to expose them. The tight, binding tension inside him cracked. He swore loudly as the sensation of Stella’s seeping arousal against his tongue sent him over the edge.

When both of their highs had subsided, they froze, fearful for the sound of approaching footsteps that never came. Sebastian remained rooted in place, shame spreading over his features. 

This had never happened to him before. Sure, he’d had those premature incidents, but those always occurred as a result of someone touching him. It had never happened at the mere sight of someone else’s orgasm.

Stella couldn’t help but smirk at the damp spot that had appeared on his pants. The sheer thought of her release triggering Sebastian’s own undoing was more empowering than any bit of ancient magic. Sure, it was counterproductive to the coaching she had promised, but considering he had satisfied her – twice – she decided there’d be plenty more opportunities for carnal education.

And selfishly, there was something quite satisfying about causing the temporary downfall of the great Sebastian Sallow. She’d never admit to it, though.

“Alright?” Stella asked tenderly.

“What do you think?” Sebastian muttered as he brandished his wand. “Scourgify.”

“I think,” Stella mused as she pulled her panties back up, “Maybe we started with the stakes too high.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe we should try a more private setting – someplace where you’ll actually relax,” Stella explained. “Maybe these… public places are causing you too much stress.”

“What are you, my therapist now?”

“Sex therapist,” Stella quipped with a smirk. Sebastian turned red again. “To be fair,” Stella continued in a serious tone, “This therapy session was quite a stress reliever for me, so at least one of us benefited from it.” She frowned slightly as she rose to her feet. “I really was going to reward you, though.”

“Trust me,” Sebastian mumbled. “You’ve done plenty.”

Stella grinned as she flicked her wand toward the fireplace to freeze the flames. “What are friends for?”

[greenwriterplaidbow]

Human Connection

Part IV

Last part, next part

Logan Howlett x Reader with injury related memory loss

Word count: 2.5K

A/N: This one is shorter and maybe the weakest section in my opinion but its part 4/6 so it is what it is I guess. IDK tension is definitely a weak area for me, I just want everyone to be happy and get alongggg. Anyways hope you enjoy it all the same. Now I have to actually commit to deciding if I want to end this series with smut or not! I’m leaning towards yes but it feels cringe. Or I’ll give up and write two endings. Decisions are hard and advice is welcomed.

Warnings: a combination of angst and fluff, suggested feminine reader (called Logan’s wife and she/her pronouns)

You stretch and sigh. There is a soft glow coming in through the bottom of the curtains. You feel the heat still radiating off Logan from a few inches away. His arm lays across your midsection. You rub your eyes and move to get up.

His hand on your waist applies more force when you make your attempt to move. He makes a noise. “Come on, stay in bed a little longer. You should be resting anyway. It was nice sleeping in yesterday.”

He lightens up when he feels your muscles relax and stop straining against his arm.

“Relax, I was going to come back. I was just getting up to pee and brush my teeth.”

“I guess that’s okay then. But if you’re not back in 15- I’m finding you and carrying you back to bed.”

“Yeah yeah, okay. I get it, I'll come right back”

He lets his hand slide onto the bed as you get up.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

The minute you're back in bed, Logan is pulling you into himself.

“You act like I was gone for a month, it was literally 5 minutes.” You laugh as he wraps both of his arms around your back and nuzzles his head against you. You slowly run your fingers through his hair and you swear you heard him purring for a second.

“I think it was closer to 6.”

“In that case, how did you make it that long by yourself?!” You try and say without laughing.

“I don't know” his voice was muffled as he pressed his face into your skin.

The two of you sit, enjoying the soft scene together until you break the silence again.

“Did we ever meet in the library? I mean when we first started teaching together.”

“Yes,” Logan nodded and murmured. "Spent a lot of long nights down there.”

“I remember that a little bit. I didn't know if it was a real memory or dreamed memory. They're weirdly hard to tell apart.”

“Tell me what you remember, I can tell you if it's real.”

You thought back to the unorganized segments of memories. Trying to make sense of them as you explained them aloud.

Your own heavy breathing is the only sound in the dark room as you scramble to flick on the lamp and examine the room. It's not the bedroom you've been sleeping in current-day with Logan. This room looks older. After calming yourself, you rub your face and sign into your hands. After throwing on a soft zip-up sweatshirt over your pajamas and sliding your slippers you head out of the room. It's dark and quiet in the long hallways that lead you to a large library. You feel the weight of a messenger bag that holds your laptop, a textbook, and student worksheets. You are surprised that there is already a fire in the fireplace. It isn't until you get closer that you see him. Logan laying on a sofa. Reading a book by the glow of the fire. His eyes only leave the page to look towards you, wordlessly questioning your presence.

“Sorry, I didn't know anyone else would be down here- I'll go,”

“Stay if you want to stay. I’m not fuckin king of the library, you have as much of a right to be here as I do. And I'm not sure how much I trust you to start a fire anywhere else.”

You stand there a second, taking in the positives and negatives of his comments. You make the decision to sit down anyways. You're in a chair right next to the sofa, on the side away from his head. You open your bag and pull out worksheets to start grading. You remember staying there a long time. Neither of you spoke. The ambient crackling of the fireplace and the occasional rustling papers fill the silence. Then your mind flicks to another scene. Same place, same seats, roughly the same time, but now you're rereading a textbook section and you don't have your sweatshirt. Logan is sitting up and a newspaper has replaced his book. You still don’t speak but there seems to be less tension between the two of you. Another scene but now you're both on the sofa. Papers placed on the coffee table, long abandoned in favor of conversation. It changes again. This time you're quietly fighting. Keeping your voices down to respect the rest of the school who could manage to keep a regular sleep schedule while still getting your point across. Logan is in a distinctive red shirt that catches your eye and letting you know that the next skip is the same night. Although now you're not fighting anymore. Now you're leaning against him with your legs over his lap, your knees gently against his chest, all but sitting in his lap; while his arms are loosely around you. Logan holding you soothingly. Your eyes feel wet like you had been crying but looking back into your patchwork memories, you can't remember why. It felt like looking into a broken mirror with missing pieces. You remember other disjointed scenes but they're all similar. The same people, the same place, the same time. You and Logan, in the old library, late nights or early mornings. Most were just calm studying where you both ignored the other but then a jump to another memory and you're cuddled up watching a movie together.

In the present moment, Logan’s fingers rub circular patterns against your leg while he listens.

“Yeah that happened. We met up there a lot. It wasn’t on purpose, not at first. It's a place we both liked to go when we couldn't sleep. When it started, we would just work but you kept coming back. And the longer you stuck around, the more we got to talking.”

“Mmm.” You hummed in understanding even if his explanation didn’t do more than confirm what you could gather from your remembered fragments.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

The rest of the day was generally unremarkable. Logan liked how comfortable you were getting with him. You weren't your old self yet but this was the closest you'd been. The day was mostly divided between Logan using the opportunity to clean while you read your books and went through your teaching material. You went on a walk after supper again, although this time you were more careful about your limits. When you came back, the two of you just planned to rest and have an uneventful evening.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Logan and you sat shoulder to shoulder on the couch. Your knees were just folded against his manspreaded lap. You flipped through a folder of your class material while Logan read a book. You closed the folder and slid it off your lap, onto the open spot next to you.

“Can I try grading some of my own stuff?”

“You don't have to, I can handle it for you.” He responded without looking up from his novel.

“I want to. I want to feel productive” Logan closed his book and met your eyes.

“Ok. If it’s too much, you don't have to do it all. I’ll go find your answer key on your computer for these two worksheets. Do you want me to print them out?”

“Yes please. Thank you.”

He nods as he sets down his book. His hand lands on your thigh as he stands and you watch him walk down the hall. You're half tempted to follow him for a minute until you hear a soft knock at the door. You look towards the office then back at the front door. ‘Probably just a package or a neighbor or something.’ You think to yourself.

You travel the short distance down to the door and open it cautiously. A nervous-looking young man stands on the other side. His eyes look almost guilty or shameful, but you don't have enough time to analyze him before he speaks.

“Hello. This is the Howletts residence, right?”

“Hello! Yes, it is. You'll have to wait here just a moment for my husband- If we know each other I'm not trying to be rude, I was just recently in an accident, I have a brain injury. I mean they say my memories should come back, it just takes time and-”

“That's what I want to talk to you about actually,”

When Logan emerges from the office, the papers he was carrying back got tossed onto the table. He rushed over to your side.

“Logan Howlett, who are you?”

He thrust one hand towards the stranger while the other one went defensively to your back.

“May I come in?” He takes a step inside the house before either of you answer. “I'd like to speak with you.”

“That's fine, you can speak to us fine right here. Who are you?”

“I'm Dustin, Dustin Steele.. I was drunk last week. I did something stupid, I didn't even know I hurt anyone until I woke up the next morning in a cell. The officers said it was pretty bad but you look fine. I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to make it up to you. See how you were doing, you know?”

Long metal claws shot out of his clenched fists in the moment it took Logan to close the distance between himself and the driver, slamming him against the front door. You take several small, quick steps back in surprise. You hear Logan yelling at the man against the door but in your panic, it's like you're hearing it from the bottom of a well. It takes you a moment to snap yourself out of it and take action.

“Logan! Hey, hey. Stop-” You grab his shoulders and pull his arms back at his sides. Obviously, you couldn't hold him back if you tried, you're just trying to make him think before he joins the driver in the 'did something stupid' club.

He took several heavy, angry, uneven breaths. Your hand pushed at his chest to make him take one more step back. The driver was too scared to move.

You let out a quick sigh and answered the driver’s initial question. “Uh yeah I'm fine. My chances of survival are pretty solid at this point. I mean I have no memories because of a traumatic brain injury but I'll be fine.. Logan? Is there anything he can do to make it up to us?”

“I should take your life for what you've taken from me-” Logan takes a step forward causing the driver to slide back against the door while taking a step outside.

Your hand moves up to grip his arm. “Please stop” He sighs but complies with your plea.

“No. I don't think there's anything you can do outside of what you're legally required to do.”

“I-I see. Well you have a nice day.. again, I'm sorry”

“Yeah.” As soon as he gets a reply, he darts away from the door, almost sprinting away from the house.

Logan slams the door and you make your way upstairs. When you got to the top you still feel the adrenaline running through you and reach out for the kitchen counter for support. You struggle to catch your breath as your composure crumbles and you try to keep from slipping into a panic attack. Your brain tortures you by showing the image of Logan yelling on repeat. Your heart felt like it could stop beating at any moment. It was going so fast you felt like it might start skipping beats. You’re brought back to reality when you feel Logan's hand touch your arm. You jumped back a bit without thinking.

He repeated the question you hadn't heard him ask. "Are you alright?"

“Yeah, yeah. I'm- I'm fine.” You’re still struggling to control your breathing.

Logan softly says your name before he asks, “Are you.. scared of me?”

“Yes!” You say louder than you mean as you turn your body to face him. “Right now, I kind of have a reason to be! I just saw you yell at that guy, you got up in his face. You were trying to intimidate him, it was kind of scary. You were so loud. And you're a big guy, it really doesn't take much,”

“I wasn't trying to intimidate him- I was going to hurt him-”

“Not helping your case.” You cut him off, not wanting to hear the rest of his statement.

“For what he did to you? He deserves to rot in hell.”

“No he does not! He's young, plenty old enough to know better but still, he doesn't even look like he's out of college. This shouldn't ruin his life.” Your panic starting to be replaced by frustration.

“Like hell it shouldn't, he could've killed you. What if it wasn't you, what if it was a little kid, anyone in that backseat wouldn't have lived.“ Logan carefully stepped closer to you as he made his point, you stepped back.

“Yes, it could've been worse but let's just be thankful it wasn't. It was a stupid mistake. He shouldn't have been doing it of course but his punishment is not death.”

“You're right, death would be too easy.”

“No! What's wrong with you?? The justice system will handle him. I can admit, it's far from a great system but that's not a choice we get to make. If you want to see change, you don't start with things that are personal. You would-”

“I don't want to see change, I'm just pissed at that guy” He motioned towards the door as he spoke.

“You'll get over it”

“But-”

“Stop being pissed at him when you could be happy with me.”

Logan shrugged. “I can do both.”

Your hand goes to your forehead as you try to decide the best way to handle the situation.

“Logan..” With a sigh you determine there isn't much more you can do to reiterate your point. “I’m.. I’m going to go to bed. I'll grade that stuff in the morning.”

His jaw clenched. “Okay.. I’m going to read out here a bit longer, then I'll be in too. You don't need to keep a lamp on for me though.”

You nod and step around him to walk to your bedroom.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

It was cold in the dark room without him. The feeling of loneliness you felt the first day back in your own bed was creeping in again. Your mind circled around your argument with Logan, the way he treated the driver, your few memories of earlier fights. Round and around, keeping you awake.

It was two hours before Logan quietly entered the room. When he climbed into bed you were surprised that he didn't move to touch you. That was the routine the two of you had gotten into and you had hoped his comforting warmth would drown out your thoughts. But he stayed back. Still close to you but never closing the gap. You wordlessly took matters into your own hands, sliding back and moving his arm around you.

“You're still awake? I thou-”

“Shut up.”

Your lingering frustration combined with your lack of sleep made you snap at him more than you intended. Logan got the message; this isn't an olive branch, you’re still upset. He still found some peace knowing that even when you're upset, he still provided you a sense of safety and comfort.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

Taglist: @kemi707 @klwrites @fluff-lover @a-leg-without-fear @aoi-targaryen @vofriviasblog @jupiter-sky @crypt1dcat @karencaribou @Persepolys @Just-a-maggot

[moonlit-imagines]

Broken Curse

Peter Parker x reader

warnings:

a/n: idk this was supposed to be an entirely different fic when i started but now its very different

prompt:

Peter always held himself back. Everyone could see it. Everyone except him.

All those wasted opportunities because of those powers, but that’s all he thought he was good for now. He could have been so much more if he didn’t dedicate himself to Spider-Man. Right now he could be in college or working a job ehere he could make a real difference. But instead, he was living all on his lonesome in some run-down apartment, a ghost of his former self.

So now no one saw him. No one saw how much he held himself back because no one ever noticed him. In his new life, he kept to himself. No people to disappoint with his lost potential, no one noticed him anymore and maybe that was for the best.

You were in his thoughts, though. Mourned daily and nightly in regret of his mistakes. He sat there connecting all those things that went wrong. From becoming Spider-Man to an Avenger, trusting people he shouldn’t have, taking shortcuts and wasting precious time. He lost you and everyone he ever loved.

What hurt him most was seeing you from time to time, but as luck would have it, you’d managed to move into his building. A fate worse than death for Peter.

“Y/N?” He asked in the hallway without realizing. A stranger had just called to you.

“I…I’m sorry, do I know you?” You chuckled, which Peter knew was a nervous habit and you were a bit uncomfortable.

“N-No. Sorry.” He paused. “I was guessing. Not guessing your name, that’d be weird. The landlord told me about a new neighbor, I haven’t seen you yet so I was assuming that was you. Y/N, right?” Peter rambled out a reasonable lie to convince you he wasn’t a stalker. Maybe he was, he didn’t know if it counted when magic spells were involved.

“Oh. I guess that makes more sense.” You shrugged. “Yes, I’m y/n…and you are..?”

“Peter. Peter Parker.” He gave an awkward introduction. “Apartment 20.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Peter.” You told him. “I hate to cut this short, but I have to do some unpacking.” You began to walk away, but Peter was desperate to keep this going. He hadn’t spoken to you in months, and although you may not know who he is in this moment, he was the boy you fell in love with and he still loved you with all his heart.

“If, uh, you need some help moving anything, I’ll be here.” He timidly offered. You stopped in your tracks and took a moment to think.

“Actually, I could use some help with some furniture. The movers just left everything in my living room.” You explained and he smiled. “What?”

“You have a living room?” He laughed and you joined in, catching that his apartment was probably a bit smaller than your own. “I can definitely help you with all that, lead the way.” He was a bit disappointed you’d accept help from a stranger so easily, but he didn’t know that something felt familiar about him. You just felt he was trustworthy and genuine. That was it.

You’d initiated some small talk while moving the couch to the correct wall, the bed frame and mattress to the bedroom, and some shelves and tables wherever they might go, maneuvering around heaps of boxes labeled with all sorts of goofy writing. He liked the “BEDROOM BULLSHIT” box the most. But as he moved around your relatively nicer apartment, he noticed a stuffed animal that had fallen on the floor. A stuffed animal he had actually gotten for you several years ago. “Hey,” he picked the little bear up, “this was just laying on the floor. Cute.” Peter commented in some unsuspecting way.

“Oh, yeah, I can’t even remember where I got that thing. I’ve had it forever, can’t bring myself to get rid of it. It’s too cute to get rid of anyways, look at him.” You reached for the bear in his hand and when your hand connected with its soft fur, you felt an overwhelming sensation, this sickness inside as your head began spinning.

“Are you okay? Y/N?” Peter urgently asked, hesitant to make any startling movements. Your gaze jolted back to him and there was a much different look in your eyes than in the moments before. Softer.

“This can’t be real.” You mumbled. “It was you all along.”

“What?” He had no idea how to respond.

“Peter Benjamin Parker.” You spoke his full name. “I love you.”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @johnmurphyisqueer // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @bad4amficideas // @sheridans-dynamos // @simsrecs // @prettysbliss // @skdkdkckfk // @simp-legend // @wild-rose-35 // @nekoannie-chan // @evilcr0ne // @v0idl1nq // @ruvaakke // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @amirahiddleston // @beth-gallagher22 // @brutal-out-here // @rqmanoff // @elenavampire21 // @mymelodymia // @pheonixfire777 // @deanzboyfriend //

[curio-queries]

ARE YOU SURE?!

Episode 3 production Notes

I genuinely wasn't expecting to have much to say on this when I started it but there are definitely some things to chat about with this episode. Get comfy, it's another long post!

Here's a link to my post on eps 1 & 2.

(I guess this is a series now)

The Tone

I was curious about how a few things would be handled with the remainder of the show, and some of the answers are starting to unfold. We definitely have to see how the upcoming episodes play out but there's at least something to evaluate.

My main takeaway from episode 3 is that the tone is so very different from the previous ones. In my last post, I spent quite a bit explaining why AYS was a successful mix of Bon Voyage and In The Soop. That's definitely not the case here. This episode is a mix of Bon Voyage and Run BTS tonally. This episode is more what I was expecting they'd try to do with the edit to highlight the chaos and shenanigans that were a main ingredient in the content of BTS as a full team, especially to cover for the reduced member count from the full group.

Some of the main items that make this episode seem more energetic than the previous ones are:

The timeline. Episode 3 covers far less time than 1 or 2 did. It makes it seem like there's just too much going on to fit in the same parameters, which again makes the tone seem overall more rushed and hectic.

The music: far higher bpms consistently on all of the backing tracks.

The choppy edits. When we recognize that there was something missing in the middle of an interaction, our brains are still processing what we might have missed and orienting to what we're seeing next. With all of that going on, it easy to feel 'left behind' in even the most casual of scenes.

The intended audience. I just had one moment here that bumped me. At some point one of the members clearly says 'Fighting' but the translation wasn't just that word. It was a whole sentence about wishing for encouragement or something. These episodes have been very clearly laid out for an audience that is not only familiar with BTS but enough so that we know who each of these members are and why they might be doing these kinds of activities. If you had none of this basic knowledge, I genuinely don't think this show is even watchable...so why would people with that level of understanding need an alternate translation to 'Fighting'? Idk, maybe I'm being overly sensitive but like I said, it bumped me enough to question who their target audience was. Something I didn't even question with the prev eps.

Edited to add: an example of the tone influenced by the edit. Can't believe I forgot this one. It stood out to me in my first watchthrough. Thankfully our beautiful giffers captured the story beats for us all.

The Edit

Like I said at the beginning, this episode was far less a blend of ITS and BV and more a mashup of BV with Run BTS. The only thing in this episode that reminds me of ITS is the extremely choppy edit, which i think most would agree was not one of the highlights of those shows.

There are so many unresolved story beats in this episode of AYS! If you're not used to noticing something like this, here's an example:

In the car after their meal, vmin discuss that it'd be nice to pull over for some pics.

At the coffee drive through, Jimin makes a point to coordinate a stopover with JK so he can have his drink.

...and then we arrive at the house with no resolution. Did they stop? Did JK get his drink? We don't know, the only evidence we have is Tae carrying his partially consumed drink. So IF they stopped, Tae either didn't drink his or it was a very brief stop to not finish.

Here's another one:

When arriving at the house, the guys are all commenting bout how nice the place is.

Jimin exclaims about the pool.

...we don't get an establishing shot of the pool. On a rewatch of the episode, once you already know where it is, you're able to notice it for the slightest of moments but that's it. No hint of how big the pool is or even where in relation to the members it's located. It's just a tiny thing, not even important to the storyline but it leaves the audience without a reference to what the members are talking about.

There are dozens more of examples I could list but I think you get the idea. Again, not a big deal on small productions but you KNOW there was plenty of b-roll footage of the place. We see some of it. These are mostly just tiny observations that, if isolated wouldn't mean anything, but repeatedly set the tone for how the audience will be experiencing the rest of the episode.

The Guest

Another choppy edit is how they handled the introduction of Tae and the narrative that explains his presence here when he wasn't in the previous episodes. They either didn't get any good footage explaining it or they decided to purposefully try to cut it 'dynamically' for a reveal... in my opinion, this was not successfully done and just leaves the viewer feeling like we just need to accept the confusion and enjoy the endearing moments....which is exactly one of the main things I comment on in my Run BTS series. The BTS production team is astoundingly terrible at entertaining exposition. Long time armys are just used to it by now and I really don't see them changing anytime soon. They know ppl will watch the content for the moments we get to spend with the members, whether there's a proper narrative or not, so why bother?

Anyway, it's clear to see why those who have a bias against Tae have been using this as ammunition in their fanwars. It's just an awkward narrative that was poorly presented. (Personally, I'd rather everyone just focus on celebrating the members moments with each other rather than warping them to win imaginary points in a pointless battle but alas, I'm just an aging fan in a space that rewards useless vitriol).

Jimin's sickness...again

Poor guy just can't catch a break! At least that was the point they were trying to make editing it this way. Honestly, Jimin has so far been not as impacted as he was the previous episodes. Likely due to this upset being far more mild than the last one. However, there's so much more tension with it cut the way it was in episode3. It's not just that we're aware of it upfront unlike we were in episode 1. It's only highlighted in moments where Jimin is NOT participating in whatever the others are: not eating, not swimming, not climbing. In episode 1, most of the scenes that included any mention of Jimin feeling unwell also included some hint of JK wanting to take care of him or inquiring after his health. Episode 3 includes no such scenes. The overall impact is a much lighter view of how the members spent an exciting day rather than a genuine look into how they're interacting with each other as humans.

One last note: The Sound

There are definitely some horrific sound moments this episode! So much so that I noticed some on my first watchthrough! Again, there are allowances to be made, this is not a show being shot on a sound stage in controlled conditions but some moments were just plain misses in the edit.

For example, when vmin is listening to music in the car, the balancing of SEVEN from vmin's audio is horrific. The way to do this properly is manage the audio levels of their voices alone and overlay with the music track. This will help mask any audio that leaked into their mics. Something that can be easily done with rights to the music...which they have. And oh look at that, they do it correctly for J-Hope's Arson! It honestly is just coming across as a missed correction on the edit but I'd expect more from a BTS show that's licensed to Disney.

That's it for now. Overall, I'm disappointed in the edit of this episode but moreso because of how pleasantly surprised i was by the previous episodes. This one was very much kn par with other BTS content. Im also looking forward to the remaining episodes as I estimate we'll see a little more liveliness from our latenight-loving Jimin now that he's had his nap! 😆

Edited to add:

Are You Sure?! MasterList

[mythals-whore]

ASSIGNING THE MEMBERS OF THE VEILGUARD A TAYLOR SWIFT ALBUM BECAUSE I CAN!!!

Harding - Debut

Obviously she’s our Ferelden farm girl so this just makes sense, but let me elaborate anyway. Harding is VERY Tied Together with a Smile/ The Outside to me?? Not to mention i feel like she would love the angrier songs Picture to Burn/ should’ve said no. We know how she gets when she’s angry. And you can’t convince me she wouldn’t LOVE Our Song.

Neve - Midnights

Do i even need to explain this one?? Neve gives such Midnights vibes, vigilante shit/mastermind/midnight rain???? Also SO yoyok coded. i feel like her romance is very Labyrinth/Snow on the Beach. And the woman who pets all of docktown’s stray cats is very “karma is a cat” of her idc.

Bellara - Red (TV)

This one was hard! It was between Red and 1989 to me. I just think Bellara would love the high energy pop beats (22, WANEGBT, Starlight). But i think she would LOVE Treacherous/State of Grace as well. Will help with the fanfic writing 100%. I put TV here specifically bc Better Man & Forever Winter could very much remind her of Cyrian??? And you can’t convince me Bellara wouldn’t be obsessed with ATWTMVTV.

Lucanis - Speak Now

Purple vibes, obvious. But he’s like, very Enchanted to me. AKA loves reading romance novels and the concept of romance but doesn’t know much about it/has never experienced it but wants it badly. Which is also why Electric Touch/Sparks Fly apply here. Don’t think about Lucanis listening to Castles Crumbling when he gets back from the Ossuary to find that Caterina is gone (+ later if you don’t save Treviso). Also Innocent was written about him, Taylor told me.

Shout to passenger princess Spite which i feel Taylor embodied when she wrote Dear John (iykyk)

Davrin - Lover

First of all, he is SO The Archer. “Ive been the Archer, Ive been the prey” “i jump from the train and ride off alone i never grew up its getting so old” “i cut off my nose just to spite my face and hate my reflection for years and years” its so Davrin (also one of my favorite songs maybe ever so this is big news). Also as @pinayelf pointed out, Assan as the Arrow?? Dying. But also Davrin’s romance is so Its Nice to Have a Friend. I saw someone talk about this not that long ago, but he’s very much a friend first?? Like he gives the vibe that as your LI you just hang out and rib on each other. I just i feel like they laugh a lot. + Lover as an album is soft but very anxiously attached?? Which i feel is the whole inner life of “i am a Grey Warden and im not supposed to get to attached bc it can’t last.” Honorable mentions go to Daylight/I Think He Knows/Cruel Summer/ Cornelia Street

Could also be convinced he is Reputation bc Reputation seems hardcore but is secretly very soft.

Emmrich - Tortured Poets (The Anthology)

Emmrich would LOVE the flowery language in this. Would love analyzing the lyrics with his besties. He’d love The Albatross (which, coincidentally is one of my favs, guess he just has good taste) and The Manuscript. Also tbh i don’t know much about his romance but “you know how to ball, i know Aristotle” feels like Emmrich with a much younger Rook (shout out to But Daddy I Love Him as well). Idk i think he’d secretly love it. Also relating Robin to Manfred bc that is his son??? On the sad side i feel like Emmrich is very the Prophecy/Peter because he has that dialogue about how he ‘once thought he’d get married’ like he always wanted love but never found it.

Taash - evermore

This was very difficult but i think the general witchy vibes are very “I’m Rivaini, we’re cool with spirits”. Also Tolerate It feels like when their mom comes to visit and no matter what Taash does it’s not good enough. Laash specifically is Dorothea/Ivy to me. And then of course (endgame spoilers) Marjorie after their mom dies and RWYLM if Harding is also gone. As a fan of the ‘pots and pans’ of Closure, they also get this one assigned to them. Just feels right.

[evanesceki]

hey babe :3 u said reqs r open so i hv an idea!! make like a fic w gunwook n its highschool volleyball au where u both r the captains of the boys n girls teams idk how to explain it.. also do u think miumuras is a good username for my blog cs im gna change it once my smau is overrr

this ask is so old, omg im so sorry!

f!vbcap!reader x vbcap!rival!gunwook . fluff . no tw . rlly rlly cringe...

"gunwook." you say as you look up at him. "yn." he replies smiling, making fun of your seriousness. it really wasn't a big deal in his opinion, all he did was steal your court. "this is our court, we were here first." you state, trying to focus on his eyes and not the obvious smirk on his face, "yet you all left to get ice cream. meaning free opportunity, so i took it." he says, leaning down to get closer to your face.. you flinch away, scrunching your face up in the process. "bullshit. we booked this court a week ago! i'm getting coach." gunwooks smirk fades as he grabs your hand stopping you from walking away, "don't. fine, we'll give you the court, but only for today. don't keep expecting me to be nice." you scoff, watching him walk away 'what is he? some villian?' "alright, girls! on the court!" you hear your coach call out.

you walked out of the school, looking up at the heavy rain. quietly, you curse at yourself for not bringing an umbrella. "fuck. guess i'll have to run" you huff, annoyed since you're still sore from practice. "need help?" you hear from behind you. turning around you're face to face with the captain of the boys volleyball team, and your worst enemy. gunwook. 'great. just my luck.' you turn back around, rolling your eyes. "no. gunwook. i dont need your help." taking off your backpack you carry it above you as you step out into the pouring rain. "holy shit! its fucking cold!" you scream out, hearing giggles behind you, "do you need help now?" gunwook says, walking next to you with his umbrella dawning only above him. torturing you seemed like his favorite hobby. "oh fuck off dude. i dont wanna play today." you yell, walking faster than him.

it had been 10 minutes since you left the school, slowly hating how far away your home is from the school. weirdly enough, gunwook was still next to you walking with his umbrellla. you had passed by many people, staring at the two of you wondering why one of you was drenched in water, while the other remained dry. "fuck! fine I need your help!" you screamed in a last effort. the rain had gotten even worse. "okay!" gunwook said, instantly pushing himself closer to you. "feel better now, sweetheart?" gunwook smirks, "whatever, shut up and walk." you say shoving his side. you cant lie, his presence had been comforting. "say, do you really walk this far? everyday?" he asks, you nod before answering him. "i live this far, idiot." he laughs, looking down. "you're really pretty." he says randomly, a blush creeping on both your faces causes an awkward tension. "... you too." 'FUCK!' "you too?? can't even say thank you, huh?" he smirks, "shut up, i'll take that back too." yeah, maybe his presence wasn't so bad.

[kidspawn]

halsey fans have beef with trc?? i fear this is a piece of fandom lore i am not yet aware of??

Oh my god. Okay. Wow. So, allow me to take you on a journey and explain why I am a child of divorce. Obviously, I love The Raven Cycle. I am also a huuuuge Halsey fan. So, this was... a moment for me to discover.

To clarify, it was a beef between Halsey and Maggie Stiefvater herself about fans applying the lyrics to the song Drive to Blue and Gansey. Which, and I'm going to warn you, this conversation was the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. I was not on twitter when this happened, but these two went at it because Maggie was very against this song being used in context of her books.

Here are some of the lyrics:

Like... it's a cute song about a couple who are driving, afraid to say how they feel about one another, to put it out into the world. And the lyrics "would it really kill you if we kissed" were usually noted.

So, um.

Here's the twitter conversation about the correlation:

Which I mean... I guess. It's funny at first. I do think that its a misunderstanding of the song (which is probably one of Halsey's more PG songs), and the fact that it's sexual seems to be a problem she has and that's a whole other thing imo but I digress

and halsey responded in turn:

I genuinely think this part of the argument is... so fucking funny. I'm sorry. It's so ridiculous. I do have some opinions on how offended Maggie got at the sexual correlations, and how she like... "a few less handjobs" but idk that's not my place.

A lot of it has been scrubbed from the internet, and I actually only had these because I think this is... genuinely so ridiculous of an argument. And the sex shaming undercurrent was really bizarre for an author who often portrays characters having a lot of sexual tension and equating cars with sex. It's something I noticed in like... the 2015 era, that she really doesn't like it when people point out sexual undercurrents in her works. (Once again, she put that out there. That's not what this post was about.) And don't get me wrong, I like Maggie a lot, she's a great author and I will defend her takes in a lot of cases. I was really neutral on this thing, I mostly just got a good chuckle out of it at first.

AND THEN????

This is the culimination of this, but Maggie had a habit of like... making fun of and @ ing Halsey on twitter when she made a joke about them. She publicly made fun of Halsey and would actively tag her, and then said "I never thought she'd see it." Halsey was a running gag for a while on her twitter. She did apologize, though, and I think that's worth pointing out! I still think "oh she'd never hear it" is... pretty shitty. But she owned up to the mistake and apologized and now this is just a really bizarre and funny situation. It was mildly blown out of proportion.

And its really funny because a lot of Halsey's work like... really ties in nicely to TRC playlists, imo. A lot of my Adam playlist has Halsey on it. I don't think there's much more than that, but it did spark an outrage over Maggie Stiefvater's privilege and all in all this argument was because Maggie didn't like them using the song Drive to describe Bluesey.

[3grey-morals5]

hcs-scp/035&049🤩🤩🤩 (hc1)

uhh...idk I'm just putting shit here atp. Just kinda putting stuff down as I think abt/remember it. Please note this is a bit shippy, but it isnt like.. Dumbed down and cutesy. i try my best to give both chars a more mature and thoughtful feel - stay close to the scp aEsThEtIc of seriousness

THIS IS ALL MY IDEAS FOR IT. NO IT MAY NOT BE TRUE TO TH3 CANON.

-035

this pertains to the collection as a whole, but it's kinda like. There was a original 035 right. That was the jester/black lord consciousness, and it was alone until they left alagadda and the mask started having more hosts. Each new one added the consciousness of that host into the "hivemind" of other hosts.

Due to this system of consciousness , past memories from the other hosts and original, the BL(black lord not boy love) are sorta like a weird game of telephone. For example, the bl liked 049 in alagadda, and that got passed on- but through the different telling of stories the perception changed. So, they mostly recognize 049, but don't know why he's so important so they're left guessing.

smells interesting. Like those dried flower things that give of a nice smell but also to a point it's too sickly sweet or has a unpleasant after smell. Coupled with the hosts smell ofc, but the mask on its own smells like that and a bit earthy too. It's seems nice at first but the more you smell it the more it deteriorates into ...eugh.

This is kinda relevant more to my alagadda hcs, but explains the "goop" coming from them. In alagadda, ESPECIALLY in lords, their is a surplus of unwanted (or wanted, that will be gotten to in the future) humors. For example, the red lord has too much red humor(blood I beleive?) That overhauls all other emotions or humors into JUST mirth. They physically cant feel anything other than that. This goes for the Bl too, there was just so much black bile causing anguish that that was all they could feel. Thus, deteriorating them mentally and physically bc..I mean if you were in constant upset it would take a toll on you. How to fix this? Bloodletting! Er, BILE letting. It helps balance out the humors, to be able to feel more than just their assigned humor. Somehow in the transition from alagadda to the "real world" there was a constant flow able to break through the mask, thus 035 is able to switch emotions very fast and not dwell on just one. Well not more than a normal being would.

In constant mental turmoil due to contaiment,multitude of hosts, nature of said hosts, ect. Causes extreme mood swings, lashing out, psychotic behavior, ect. Like. Not even a headcanon really but they're actually insane. Prone to rash decisions that don't consider future repercussions, unhealthy attachments, Yada Yada Yada.

Moral compass is completely fucked but still tries to do what they pertain as GOOD. Leads to alottt of awkward situations with the staff bc like. Got a Lil dirty secret? Mask mf knows. And you know very well he WILL leak that shit like a furry fandom beware but with 10x more salt in the wound.

will lie withought shame. Not really a headcanon cause this is common knowledge but I just wanna push that this mf is NOT a truthful bitch. 100% a scam artist in a modern setting, and at one point swore up and down that they invented an idea or product just for the fun of seeing how far it could go.

fun fact: Dýo (THE Scp035) actually came up with the idea for the bicycle far before it's alleged creation? The mask states: "My dearest ------- is so slow in his gait! I beleived it would assist him in an easier - and if I may say, more amusing way of transport"

Alagadda related, but..haha. lord. Emo ass lord./pos Look at you all "cut my life into peices" and wearing all black with black hair and a black feather but still got that pale ass face like uve seen a ghost thrice in the last few seconds. In my version they're the youngest of the 4 and...certainly act like it. At least from the media, me being an only child I don't know what siblings are like.

Despite their very VERY disturbing looks, the bl is actually a fairly nice guy(keep in mind this is BEFORE all of the new hosts so it's just one conciousness). The most pessimistic guy you will ever meet, but still a nice one. The palace is dreary asf but is quiet and relatively easygoing as long as you follow some set rules. Anguish dosent like going out much, prefers to stay in doors and refuses all their fellow lords(mainly mirth) attempts to have them join in on the "fun" preferring to instead stay stuck in the past and wallow in self pity. The only way this was turned was at the start of the bile-letting by a doctor (049) and that gave him the actual capacity to feel other than anguish- growing fond of his "savior" and attempting to court him (eventually succeeding. They had a relatively good relationship before all went to shit) he still had alot of sadness, but was more active and lively much to the suprise of palacegoers and dismay of other lords - and of course, the ambassador.

There is much more I would like to add for 035, them being my favorite for...5 or so years now? Has given me plenty of thinking time to develop new ideas for them. I still have much left to say but this is getting upsettingly long and I wish to move onto 049. (Then for a treat, you may have some hcs of their relationship- the good and bad)

-049

Im not gonna assign mental illnesses or disabilities i know nothing about to characters, but there is certainly something going on here.

Began with small signs at childhood. Normally level headed but could snap at family and friends out of the blue, anxious behaviors, visions/illusions or whatever they're called, along with hearing voices and following impulse. They eventually were housed in solidarity by their parents out of worry for their child, (now around teenage) worsening their condition. Sometime during the start of the plauge, they were able to escape and made their way into society.

Really does think he's doing good! Like.. really is trying!! But it's not good at all!!! Primarily self taught with shit he finds around and learning from other doctors, which ahem, eventually are killed to use as patients when the mental instability sets in again and he starts to view them as sick or evil in some way. Not sanitary(obv) but even worse so because he is constantly mucking around in body pits trying to do something covered in rot and gross never changing, rarely eating..just a real sight.

Some way or another made it to alagadda. Yay? Something in the way the city feels is calming, and depresses his mind into a more manedgable and "normal" state where he is able to think clearly. The peak in his career where he learned the most, did the most good, and was a TRUE doctor.

Spent a lot of time in the library, then wandering around in very little free time usually giving remedies to townsfolk suffering from whatever ailments eith the supplies he had. Eventually supplies were sponsored by Anguish when they grew close, and he was able to make quite a name for himself within the citizen community. Retained humanity and compassion which was relatively new in the city, and that drew many in

All good must come to an end though, and being banished from alagadda back in the normal world (with 035 but he's not as important in this awesomesauce 049 discussion) did a huge number on his health and basically reset all the progress he made. Turning ..well, crazy, once again and running even more rampant with the new knowledge he learned. This is where he began actually being able to revive.

A very gentlemanly fellow on the outside but it's a whole fucking shitshow on the interior. It takes alot out of them to constantly stay in check(a skill he's learned with his years) but every once in a while it slips and he just bursts or goes into autopilot(not good either)

Very insecure and untrusting, and while looking a lot more sincere and well rounded/not impulsive like 035, he really isn't a polar opposite. Lil bro is anxious point and laugh at his dumbass.(relax snowflakes, I have diagnosed anxiety I can make this joke 🥰)

No I don't have as much stuff for 049 as 035, as I find him more tricky to write for and thus am spending more time trying to round out my perception of him. Anyways. Here's some cute and also sad 035x049 shit idfk it's almost 1 am I'm so tired of typing if you're actually reading this ily

-good!!!! During alagadda

was very one sided at first, mainly Anguish puppy dog eyes over his cool goth bird crush who LITTERALLY made him feel something other than anguish with procedures and all.

At last 049 (bless his heart he was so sheltered he dosent have much a grasp on the concept of love or whatevs) was like maybe this guy wanna be more than friends. Much to bls relief this attempt at courting bad been going on for far too long in his humble opinion.

Spend an ungodly amount of time together. Like enough to raise suspicion if they weren't extremely careful with all of it. If thus shit got out...(it did) it would be over for lovey dovey couple

Lots of time spent in the palace gardens...mmm grey lavender is such an appealing smell to experience while you're giggling shrouded by bushes trying to keep your relations with your first love hidden like Romeo and James or some shit. Anguish taught him to dance like the citizens at balls did, and it was very much appreciated - a big pass time of theirs. 049 still kinda has to sleep? Bl dosent, but he likes to just read silently while doc uses his much larger body as a pillow. (And maybe wake him up out of sheer boredom, much to docs dismay)

049 enjoys preening with the use of anguish 's bile as a sort of shampoo. It slides right off his feather and hair and takes all the little mites with him. In turn, doc will scratch places that are "hard to reach " can bl get them himself? Maybe. But he would much rather a professional do it.

Anguish was giddy at the start of their courting and would write poems at their anniversaries (one week, one month, 2 months, ect) doc would always try to read them but eventually would have to have bl read them due to the handwriting. At times bl couldn't even read what he scribbled down only hours earlier. These weren't a few stanzas either, these were LONGASS poems ok. He has alot of free time.

Physical touch is a blessing when you spend alot of you lives being seen as sickly and gross, so they usually will have some sort of contact. That is, if doc isn't in a sour mood and feeling extra prickly.

They sure as hell respect boundaries though. Bl knows the signs of a doc that isn't in the mood to get poked or messed with, and doc in turn sees when anguish isn't in the best mood to be given sass. He is always down to be poked and messed with but God forbid someone roll their eyes at him when he's almost enraged

-bad :(((((( after alagadda

Their worst traits feed of eachother. Bad.

Heh..I'm a fool guys....I like good relationship sm that I forgot to hc bad...oopsies. jk but not ill have them in the future but dawg it 1 30 am I wanna go to bed!!!

If there is errors in this I am very sorry. I am also very sleepy and aore and that is why there is errors. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR ONG??? Hope u enjoyed. Adios :3

[heartach3d]

can't help myself!

newt x reader

not requested I just saw a MASTER edit and started like spazzing out and stuff do anyone does that idk but it might be woerf but I'm joy weird I promise ❤️(also today's the 19th and I reread this and it's kinda weird! Like me weird tho not like bad weird)

830 words

greenie night!!

I love it. mainly the reason I can get a little more than tipsy and no one bat an eye.

and I always try to ignore the fact that I have to get up in the morning and deal with my killer headache while working!

that should be like a rule in the Glade like after the bonfire no one works or something but that would probably be bad now that I'm really thinking about it.

still haven't met the greenie yet but that's okay he'll probably be some asshole anyway.

I had already drank half of the bottle I had in my hand. sometimes gally makes it actually drinkable but most times its not.

walking around the place, looking for someone to talk to was tiring. I mean everyone has their own clique type thing so I talk to anyone who is able to.

I don't think I really have one. I mean I just hang out with newt most the time obviously. I don't mind it one bit so I've gone to looking for him now.

I cant take my mind off him at all sometimes. I mean his hair and his face are just perfect sometimes I wonder where he gets the idea to being going on with me. probably the fact I'm the only girl here actually.

but anyway I saw newt and some guy sitting next to him behind a log after walking past minho. minho was cool, I mean I liked him but I never really talked to him.

I heard him and the new guy talking as I got closer and sat down. I just realized how cold it really was, considering I was still in my clothes from earlier which was shorts and a tank.

the cold tickly feeling from the grass on my legs wasn't helping either since I knew it was just gonna make me all itchy later.

I suddenly felt knocking on my head and I looked over at newt like he was crazy. "I called your name like twice" after he saw my reaction he finally explained himself and I realized why he did it.

"sorry"

"hey it's alright, have you met the new greenie yet?" he asked and I shook my head no before bending froward a little to see past newt and waved at the greenie.

"my names y/n nice to meet you greenie" putting my hand out in front of me I shook his hand with a nice grip before returning to my spot.

I wigged some of my drink and drank a good amount before placing it down on the grass between us.

out of my peripheral vision I saw the new guys eyes widen at my action but I didn't really care too much.

I turned back and looked behind me as newt was, to see what he was looking at and what was going on.

I saw all the commotion going on as gally started his fighting ring. I didn't really like gally he was an ass with a low temper.

"you should go over there if you want to, we'll catch up later" newt said turning to the new guy, I guess he saw him looking over there or something so he just nodded before standing up and walking over.

"how you've been hm?" I stopped looking at the new guy walk away and turned back to newt.

I smiled as our eyes met and he mirrored it. I noticed in the moment that my head was already pounding but didn't care.

too much was on my mind anyway.

I grabbed newts face with my hand and squished his cheeks together to insinuate a kiss before pulling away.

"I've been fine. just walking around and stuff I guess I don't know." I let my hand wonder down his face and to the hair on the back of his neck, twisting it together slightly

"yeah? walking doin what?"

"I was trying to find you and I did so I'm happy now"

before he said anything else I cut him off by speaking again "your so cute" cut off by a hiccup you continue on "I don't know how I'm left with you"

I whisper the last part while tracing his jaw looking damn well mesmerized while staring at him.

"I think the alcohol has finally gotten to you" he whispered back and I laughed lightly nodding my head in agreement.

"yeah my heads killing me" i look over slightly at the little circle getting bigger and bigger before I realize the new guys getting thrown in there.

"hey newt" tilting my eyes to look at him as I wait for his response "yeah baby what's wrong" he asks looking mesmerized at me.

"isn't that the new guy"

that catches his attention as he looks over to where my vision is and curses under his breath.

"yeah maybe we should go over there now"

alright this like point of view is supposed to be like my mind pov idk? I just wrote what was in my mind for this and some moments I may have dragged random shit too much so, sorry for that but my head started killing me half way through this so it sucks ❤️😆

finished 3/12/25

[darkcircles4lyfe]

Life after NDE

Before reading, please see this post. It’s where I first explored the possibility that what we think we know about One for All is unreliable. It also ends with my own guesses about how Katsuki plays into it all. Now, with chapter 404, I can continue where it left off.

There are a lot of different tangents floating around here that I need to bring together for you, so let’s start with what came to light in this newest chapter. There’s a clear emphasis on Toshinori’s vestige form:

but did you catch the slight of hand?

How about now?

As soon as I saw the panels where Shigaraki talks about how the vestige is taking full form, I was practically shouting “OBJECTION” Ace Attorney-style, because they were a complete contradiction to how we were made to understand vestiges in chapter 304 (oh hey look, exactly 100 chapters ago!). Back then, it was suggested to us that Toshinori was special because of his quirklessness, that it allowed him to imprint upon OFA in a way that none of the other previous users could. In contrast, Shigaraki makes it seem like Toshi is no different from the rest. Like oh yeah, this is just how it works, they aren’t fully formed until they die, right? Hello?? No? I thought we were assuming the vestiges didn't have to do with actual souls, apart from Toshi? Given Shigaraki’s own brand of unreliability in his immature frame of mind, I found myself wondering: is he making an assumption, or is he letting slip a secret bit of information about OFA? Idk man, OFA wasn’t even doing this whole vestige thing until like a few months ago, so.

Either way, we can observe the change. As Toshinori’s lifeforce fades, he appears in OFA. I’m left with the simple observation that if he were truly different from the other vestiges because of his quirklessness, it would not have happened this way, since OFA doesn’t have Toshi’s own unique quirk factor to work with, but rather the other way around. You would have expected his vestige to stay the same, or possibly disappear altogether, since it was ostensibly exclusively based on the influence of a living consciousness.

That exception to the rule described in 304 never sat right with me anyway, and I’m not convinced that OFA contains mere memories of its previous users via their quirks just like AFO does. Sure, it’s nice and edgy to imagine that OFA/AFO are more similar than they are different, deep down. But poetic opposites are more interesting to me: AFO isolates by taking, while OFA connects by giving. Previous OFA users give themselves to their successors. One for All was “truly born” not when All for One tossed Yoichi a stolen consolation, but when 2nd extended his hand. There is something distinctly emotional and personal about that. Nana was right—it is kinda romantic.

Because Toshinori kept living, because Izuku has meaningful relationships, that chain of giving linked down through OFA was finally brought to light, like a circuit that’s being closed. At least, that’s how I see it. That’s pretty much what I talked about in my previous post.

Back then I also suggested that this theory of personal connection in some way explains Katsuki apparently having a vestige. Since chapter 403, where Toshinori describes his legacy as being embodied in both Izuku AND Katsuki, I was reminded of how Toshinori was gradually shown this over the course of the manga, as he came to understand Katsuki and his relationship to Izuku, how they are inseparable.

When Toshinori was inspired to pass OFA on to Izuku as he witnessed him trying to save Katsuki, he had no idea the two boys even knew each other. What he saw as a random act of selflessness was in reality a desperate manifestation of a connection that extended beyond memory, of osananajimi. With the eyes of traditional heroism, one could choose to see this as Toshinori’s fatal mistake, that he accidentally chose a successor with a “weakness” of personal attachment, but we all know that heroic isolation isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. No, I think Toshinori made precisely the right choice.

This is going to seem like it’s coming out of nowhere, but bear with me: you know how we still haven’t been told how the first OFA transfer happened? I feel almost silly admitting this, but I think it absolutely had to have been done instinctually, because it’s just too damn specific. As in, they didn’t know what they were doing or what it would accomplish, but they did it anyway. As in. They moved. Without thinking.

Toshinori didn’t fully consciously understand what he was seeing when Izuku ran to Katsuki, but deep within OFA, perhaps he recognized something familiar.

What if, somehow, without knowing it, Toshinori gave One for All to two people? His conviction and intent to give it was inspired by Izuku’s connection to Katuski. Yes, the transfer is inherently physical, but it also relies on mental assertion. Plus, how we think the transfer works may also be an assumption (again, the first time it happened was probably on instinct). Let me break it down even more: Toshi probably thought, as he passed OFA on, “I’m giving it to a successor who has my same balance of heroism—save to win, win to save.” But, in reality, Izuku relies on Katsuki for that balance, as his image of victory. Therefore I think I can argue that their relationship is irrevocably bound within the pact of the OFA transfer. Maybe because Katsuki’s part of OFA is based on emotional connection, once that connection is reciprocated…

…the full extent of that dual transfer is awakened.

I understand I’m making a lot of logical leaps here, but there has to be some sort of explanation for the Katsuki we see at the point of his death, talking to Toshinori’s vestige. I used to think it meant Katsuki had a vestige too. But then why are Katsuki and Toshinori alone, and without Izuku knowing? Moreover, why didn’t Katsuki materialize from the metaphysical mist around Izuku when he died, just as Toshinori did here?

Here comes the other thing I realized in 404. The simplest explanation may be that Katsuki isn’t a vestige at all, but rather he was visiting the OFA interior just as Izuku has done in his sleep or in a coma. Because he’s not a previous user, he’s a current user. The sequence of Toshinori’s NDE (near death experience) in 404, the way it manifested externally around Izuku as something Izuku was aware of, rather than internally within OFA from Toshinori’s point of view, shows me that what happened to Katsuki was different.

A lot of us have been speculating that Katsuki “has access to” OFA in some form or another for quite some time now, but I think the way the idea is suggested in 403/404 is an important distinction because it specifies the mode of connection. To me, it matters that they have two halves of a whole given to each of them, as opposed to, “the chosen one + his sidekick with a little extra OFA boost.” This puts them on equal ground, and it implies that the closer they become, the stronger One for All will be against All for One. It promises that these two idiots who have been toeing around each other and leaving things unspoken for so long will have to really face the facts of their relationship.

One last thing: you might be wondering why the other vestiges apparently haven’t picked up on what’s going on and told Izuku. Well, Yoichi may have felt it? (Where has he been?) But also, Toshinori is the only one directly involved, the only one who realizes his legacy is carried by two. Up until this point his connection to his vestige self has been limited, sort of one-way. For example, he could tell the other vestiges about his research into OFA, but in return he could only faintly pick up on things, and only while Izuku was unconscious.

The time Toshinori spent as a full vestige was brief, but I’m sure it was enough to learn some things about where the shade of himself has been. Even if I’m wrong about everything else, I bet he can give us the answers now.