#if anything happened to me

[halogalopaghost]

TIL that you can assign an AO3 next of kin to control your account in case of your death???

[sylvarantii]

I'd sort of like to go into more detail of my own experience since I didn't want to piggy back too much on the post I reblogged, but it really is very difficult job searching as a person with ADHD and Autism.

I was a caregiver for my brother for around 10 years through the state. It helped pay for my college tuition, but as you can imagine, it didn't leave me with me with much job experience towards my career path.

I didn't really know how to get myself the experience either. I worked up to getting a bachelor's in Graphic Design/Art because I really enjoyed working with the programs and felt it just all fit for me.

But as you can imagine, the job economy is hard to get into and I was not sure where to go from graduation. Obviously internships would've been the answer, but considering I'm a first generation graduate from college and have Boomer parents, they didn't really know what to advise me to do other than what they used to do when they were younger and just keep going to places and handing in my application.

Basically, I had no idea what I was doing and started to wonder after several years if I wasted my time going to college.

I had been sold on that "If you go to college, you're guaranteed a good future" stuff and you can call me gullible, but I just really wanted better for myself. It felt like the only way, unfortunately.

Anyway, after my brother moved into a group home, I was out of a job and my money was draining quick. I was desperate and wasn't getting any interviews no matter where I sent my application in. I tried a call center which was really a terrible decision for someone like me, but what felt like the only choice I had if I didn't want to pursue fast food or retail.

It was miserable. I worked there for 8 months and that job was hell and was so much stress on me mentally. I kept trying to find other jobs, but had no luck with anything. I was unable to sleep some days before going into work and I was having breakdowns.

To add to things, they were forcing everyone to work overtime by the end of my time there and they were incorporating something where you had to work with two screens instead of one. It was just too much and eventually I just had to ask to be let go from the job.

I was fortunate soon after to start a job with an actual graphic design position within a month after that and I loved it. But it wasn't a good fit. I'd make mistakes and I think those mistakes costed my employers a lot of money. I was let go after 2 months of working there and had to keep job searching again.

It takes several months, but I get two job leads. 1 was pretty neat since it was some sort of job where you make designs to place on caskets and pamphlets for a memorial service type of company, but while the offer of getting to work alone was nice, it also felt like something where they wouldn't just ease you into it and you'd have to get the hang of it right away. 2 was with a job that basically was like what I had been doing with the previous one, so I was hopeful it'd be a really good fit and was very excited when they offered me the job. Especially since the other company didn't seem interested in hiring me.

They only kept me for 3 days since I just couldn't work fast enough for them nor get the hang of the job within that time. They never outright fired me, but clearly if they never called me in again, suffice it to say, they found someone else. So we're in the middle of the pandemic, I'm trying to look for work that's remote since I'm too scared to want to work anywhere in office. I fall into a deep depression where I just feel like it'd be better if...something happens. I may not have acted on suicide, but I sure as hell was at my lowest point that I really didn't care what happened to me. It really felt like nothing was ever going to get better.

Eventually, I'm pushed to go and get benefits and am able to get on medicaid and food stamps due to the fact I'm not making an income. It really helped in the long run.

My mom helps me to get an appointment and I go in to get tested, with the doctors confirming that I'm diagnosed with severe depression. I get put on citalopram and suddenly things don't feel so bad. I'm getting better, my body doesn't feel constantly tired and I manage to actually get up and do things again. I over all get a more positive outlook and start to just in general feel better again.

I also get diagnosed for autism and some things weirdly start to make a lot of sense. My mom was hopeful that this would also help me possibly get on disability, but here in America, that is a VERY tricky process and one I tried applying for like twice and had no luck with. I'm personally not interested in trying a third attempt since I don't think the results will be any better.

But! I did soon after land my current job, a graphic design job I've been with for about 2 1/2 years now and it is possibly the best I've ever felt with a job. The work culture is great. People are really nice and pleasant to work with. I feel appreciated in my job and even receive praise for a job well done on things.

It's part time, so unfortunately it's not enough to move out and get a place of my own yet, but it means I can still support myself, help my mom with the house payments and just over all enjoy a much more laid back existence where I can be pretty content.

In the end, it's rough. People like us will have struggles most likely and sometimes you just want to give up. It feels like it's too much. But it's like what everyone says. It does get better. And I'm going to continue to believe it can only (hopefully) get even better from here.

(Knock on wood, anyway)

[unforth]

Gentle reminder that very little fandom labor is automated, because I think people forget that a lot.

That blog with a tagging system you love? A person curates those tags by hand.

That rec blog with a great organization scheme and pretty graphics? Someone designed and implemented that organization scheme and made those graphics.

That network that posts a cool variety of stuff? People track down all that variety and queue it by hand, and other people made all the individual pieces.

That post with umpteen links to helpful resources, and information about them? Someone gathered those links, researched the sources, wrote up the information about them.

That graphic about fandom statistics? Someone compiled those statistics, analyzed them, organized them, figured out a useful way to convey the information to others, and made the post.

That event that you think looks neat? Someone wrote the rules, created the blogs and Discords, designed the graphics, did their best to promo the event so it'd succeed.

None of this was done automatically. None of it just appears whole out of the internet ether.

I think everyone realizes that fic writing and fanart creation are work, and at least some folks have got it through their heads that gif creation and graphics and moodboards take effort, and meta is usually respected for the effort that goes into it, at least as far as I've seen, but I feel like a lot of people don't really get how much labor goes into curation, too.

If people are creating resources, curating content, organizing the creations of others, gathering information, and doing other fandom activities that aren't necessarily the direct action of creation, they're doing a lot of fandom labor, and it's often largely unrecognized.

Celebrate fan work!

To folks doing this kind of labor: I see you, and I thank you. You are the backbones of our fandoms and I love you.

[ninjasmudge]

thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[loumands]

I feel like many people have a fundamental misconception of what unreliable narrator means. It's simply a narrative vehicle not a character flaw or a sign that the character is a bad person. There are also many different types of unreliable narrators in fiction. Being an unreliable narrator doesn't necessarily mean that the character is 'wrong', it definitely doesn't mean that they're wrong about everything even if some aspects in their story are inaccurate, and only some unreliable narrators actively and consciously lie. Stories that have unreliable narrators also tend to deal with perception and memory and they often don't even have one objective truth, just different versions. It reflects real life where we know human memory is highly unreliable and vague and people can interpret same events very differently

[shivunin]

Because I have just seen this specific thing for the second time, I would like to say:

If I reblog your art, I do not expect you to reblog (or share!) my fic in return

If I comment on your fic, I do not expect you to comment on (or read!) mine in return

My enjoyment of anyone's work does not come with strings or expectations

My friendship is not a bill that you will have to pay later

That's it!

[undertheredhood]

the rest of the justice league: hey man, we get that he’s your son and all, but shouldn’t you do something about him?

bruce ‘that’s my precious baby boy’ wayne: i’m sorry, did you have to hold your son as he was dying in your arms? did you almost k*ll yourself trying to follow him to the afterlife? i don’t think so.

[egophiliac]

messing around with techniques! I...like the foxman and the catboy a lot okay

also, a couple of quickies that honestly don't deserve any more effort than I've already given them:

[mokeonn]

I am trying to decide what I want to draw today so I think I'm gonna make the Mane 6 in the sims and see where it goes from there

[carlyraejepsans]

i will never forgive popular UT fanon for using chara as a scapegoat in the genocide run and making "sans recognizes them and attacks them on sight regardless of what run they're in" headcanons so pervasive.

mostly because "restless spirit of a long dead child who's obsessed with the concept of cosmic retribution and facing consequences for your actions" + "guy whose job is just that but he treats it on par with his hot dog sidegig" is potentially one of the most hysterical dynamics you could come up with

UPDATE: you should REALLY check out the notes on this one

[superbellsubways]

thinking very hard about the concept of a machine finding appreciation/fascination for a person's heartbeat or breathing, similarly to how a person would find the hum of a machine's inner parts running to be pleasing to listen to or feel

[uncanny-tranny]

I recall saying this before, but it bears repeating:

There could be a billion trans people in the world and it still wouldn't be a bad thing because being trans is not a bad thing. Even if the rate of people discovering they are trans is "disproportionate" to trends from decades ago, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it's a natural consequence for there being more trans people being able to stay alive, and, overall, being able to live in a slightly more tolerant world. You'd only see that as a bad thing if you actively didn't want trans people to either live or live a life that facilitates wellness.

[turtlespancake]

i love seeing out of context posts about long-running stories with deep lore because it's always shit like "MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! i can't believe that the metallic athenaeum's envoy actually used never-ending dance of the 57th universe on rionne as if she's not LITERALLY the incarnate of august?!?!" it's like buddy boy thank you for the spoiler tag but all of those words are incomprehensible without at least 5 years of foreshadowed knowledge, 7 different fan theories, and 21 wiki entries

[geezmarty]

happy wyllstarion wednesday! here's a short comic I drew for a server gift exchange 🤍❤️

[candyapplemacchiato]

found out today that Weird Al was almost Lucifer's VA and promptly lost my mind. Hell's Greatest Dad was almost a polka and im so upset about the fact that i can genuinely still HEAR the polka inspiration in it