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#im a very cruel person and am going to hell for sure
scarletackrmn · 7 months
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So I recently made a cosplay list of DC cosplays I want to do, and the different versions for certain characters. I recently saw the comic panel of Damian getting stabbed and had a thought.
I remembered how some people did this cosplay of Junko where they attached the stuff that stabbed her to the cosplay (reference photo below, I am not the cosplay so credit to them and the photographer!!)
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So what if I did something like this, but cosplayed Damian’s New 52 robin suit and attached a sword to me
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Just me, Damian Wayne, walking around with a sword through me bringing trauma wherever I go, seeing if I can make a Batman weep.
Please tell me you see the vision
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stevie-petey · 8 months
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hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH
(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)
i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!
enjoy <3
"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.
jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.
"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.
steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."
jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."
"i dont believe you."
"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."
steve stares at you, shocked.
"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."
"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."
"i did."
during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.
"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"
"yeah." you both say at the same time.
steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.
"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."
jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."
"im right here, you know."
steve winces. "sorry."
"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."
jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.
shes too good.
you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.
now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.
the kindness is yours, no one elses.
and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.
you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."
jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."
steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."
"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.
its all you could ask for.
even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."
and its enough.
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Oooooh I am very interested in Step-Dad Rolan? 👀
Eeeee I’m super excited about this one!!
Summary: Gemma didn’t realize that fiendish heritage or sorcery ran in the family until her son Paxi was born. As a single parent, keeping up with a young Tiefling sorcerer can be challenging and finding positive role models can be even more challenging. Yet, a chance meeting with Rolan of Ramazith’s Tower stands to change everything.
Snippet below the cut!
Gemma sighed heavily as she squatted down next to her son.
“Let’s have a look at you,” she said. Gemma was never sure if Paxi started the fights himself or was roped into them by the miscreants he’d begun to hang around with, but it didn’t change the fact that this was the third time this month that her son came home with a newly-acquired bruise.
“Ma, I’m fine,” the young tiefling protested, turning his face from his mother. “It doesn’t even hurt.”
“What happened this time?” Gemma asked tiredly, ignoring Paxi’s protests as she daubed a healing ointment beneath his black eye. Gemma reckoned that Paxi must have taken quite a blow to the face.
“Khairos said I couldn’t cast mage hand and he was telling everyone that I was a liar,” Paxi explained. “I couldn’t let him do that so I summoned a mage hand and —“ Paxi stopped short, realizing that he’d incriminated himself.
“So you started the fight this time,” Gemma said, finishing her son’s statement. She shook her head in exhausted disappointment. “Paxi… you can’t be doing that. I mean it.”
“But Ma —“
Gemma put her hands squarely on Paxi’s shoulders, studying her son’s battered face.
“You’re a tiefling, Paxi. Everyone around you is looking for a reason to lump you in as some sort of an infernal ne’er do well. Don’t give them that.”
She’d had this talk with him before. The whispers of disdain started when he was born.
‘How in the Hells does a human woman birth a monster like that?’
‘Her man walked out on them. Don’t blame ‘im one bit. The kid probably wasn’t his.’
‘If I was her, I’d’ve left the bugger on the steps of the tabernacle.’
The way that her neighbors spoke of her stung, but Paxi was her baby. She carried him for nine months and nearly died birthing him into this cruel world. Gemma could only protect him from the world for so long, but she couldn’t do that forever.
Paxi didn’t respond to his mother’s admonishment, instead casting his bright red eyes towards the dingy floor of their boardinghouse room.
“Do you understand me, Paxi?” Gemma asked him urgently.
“Yeah,” he muttered, not looking her in the eye.
“Look at me. Do you understand?”
Paxi finally looked up into his mother’s dark brown eyes. “Yes, Ma, I understand.”
“Good.” Gemma stood up and brushed the dust from her knees. She nodded towards their small washbasin. “Now get cleaned up.”
Paxi turned to wash his hands and face, but looked back over his shoulder. “Does this mean I don’t get to go to the Sundries after school tomorrow?”
Going to Sorcerous Sundries was the highlight of Paxi’s week. Gemma set aside a small coin purse for him every month to buy a new book or scroll if he behaved himself. Paxi loved the Sundries for more than just its impressive array of arcane supplies; Rolan of Ramazith’s Tower was Paxi’s personal hero. If Paxi managed to catch sight of him or see one of his demonstrations, it would be all he talked about for the rest of the month.
Gemma sighed tiredly and pinched the bridge of her nose. Those damn puppy dog eyes of his made disciplining him harder than it already was. With so few role models around him, Gemma would rather Paxi be inspired by simply being in Rolan’s vicinity than causing trouble in the streets.
“Yes, we’ll still go to the Sundries tomorrow,” Gemma agreed wearily.
“Fuck yes!” Paxi exclaimed.
“Watch your mouth!”
“Sorry, Ma.”
Paxi excitedly washed his face and hands for dinner while Gemma stirred the tiny stewpot in the corner. Chagrined though she was for potentially reinforcing Paxi’s bad behavior, seeing him happy like that was worth more than all the gold in the Counting House.
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the-s1lly-corner · 10 months
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Uhh i request you
<-forgot everything about creepypasta after stopping reading fanfics
Uhhhhhhh
Um
...slenderman uhhhhm meeting reader who is the same.. species? Found family????? Reader being chipper and welcoming?? Artistic and calming?? Basically um. I dunno. They also live in the woods and collect poor souls, helping them cope and detach from this world??????
I am.. stoopid.
Slenderman x slender-person!artistic!reader ! (found family)
dusts out my slenderman hcs as well as my au ideas on him aheehee ahoo speed running this since i just put my first round of macarons into the oven and im too impatient to wait until theyre done baking for me to write this NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT
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okay but im getting this idea out of the way before i forget. imagine the reader, instead of doing paintings and stuff for the "artist" thing they make little structures and statues and stuff and have them around in your area. of course theyre all made with forest material; mud, sticks, pinecones, ect ect i dont know, i just love the nature aesthetic with this idea and rrrraaaaaAAAAH
for some reason or another, you make your home in the same woods THE slenderman lives in; or perhaps it was the otherway around? regardless, it doesnt take long for you to become aware of one another....
okay but how funny would it be if you guys bonded over your annoyances over people collecting your stuff. people taking his pages, and people taking your art projects (at least the ones that are portable). like!
though i cannot think of any lore reasons for slendermans pages in my au.... i will one day i promise, i feel like thats too much of an iconic thing to just cut out
it DOES take a long while for slenderman to get used to you, much less foster a friendship with you... but a family bond? i mean yeah sure, hes very reclusive... but thats not just with humans. he doesnt like interacting with other creatures, either
pats your shoulder
my moot
my dear moot, allow me to go on a tangent about my take on slenderman
basic summary is that he and all other demon/most nonhuman creepypasta characters were made by zalgo in my funky au; basically to bring disorder and that kind of shit. but like in a "this is just a part of this universe's nature" way. thus making slenderman himself in my take the be a simple fact of life... thinks.. and he resents his own existence, i think. i mean how cruel is it that he was made to cause issues, in fact he cant live without it (eats people) but he was granted the ability to be able to grasp the complexity of morals and emotion. like thats fucked
i love it
anyways, theres that and him just naturally being reclusive! hell even his supposed "brothers" (splendor and trender, i refuse to touch the third one) hes still.. distant
basically what i mean to say is that you guys probably arent going to be.. outwardly close... if that makes sense. like hes not going to be very affectionate; so dont expect many familial... things... and its not often that he would seek conversation out... though
as i write that, if i recall correctly i did give him the vague craving of connection, and while i usually save that for traditional x reader stuff, i think this would still apply to found family stuff! so actually, i think he WOULD eventually start seeking your company out, just for the fact of having someone else to talk to who doesnt resent his existence the same way he resents his own
sits
given my silly hc i do think he would have some understanding with your relationship with humans/lost souls. would he do it himself? i think it really depends on the situation... like if hes not actively hunting he usually just drives people out of the woods, no sense in wasting.... things... you know?
sits
im all jumbled all over the place my apolocheese im just excited to write for slenderman again
will get annoyed if you snatch away his "meal" since AGAIN, he was cursed to feed on people . like he understands why you did it, and he has mixed feelings around eating human (like not in a "im distressed and i hate it" way more so "its not totally desirable but i cant survive without doing this" way)
sits
i think
im gonna toy around with my slenderman hcs... this ended up being more of a hc dump than a x reader, my apologies
its also that as im typing this i realize how similar my takes on eyeless jack and slenderman are... which is funny because they live in the same woods in my au but they fucking HATE each other
territorial stuff you know
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chihirolovebot · 7 months
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i made. a PHYSMAKI!! pinterest board!!! i hope it is in character :’) but i wanted to share it with you anyways
https://pin.it/1WXZeDHsN
i made a few about phys & other characters too. and OFCOURSEEE physouma aswell!!
fyi its always me sending asks about physmaki,,, i love them so much actually toxic yuri FTW!!!!
IM LITERALLY SO ILLL OHHGHG MY GOD ARE U KIDDING ??? putting some faves under the cut
FIRST OF ALL just want to go crazy bonkers stupid over the amount of dog / rabid dog imagery and pins in this board since i went so hard on the coding for harukawa and dogs in sleep awake . shes so rescued fighting dog to me and it makes me sick. the nightmarish black and red ones are so perfect for just what i imagine the inside of her head to be like the 'do not forget what i am' with the bared teeth oghhhhgh harukawa u think ur so cruel and unlovable u think u are but a weapon but phys sees u as a person</3 what the hell .
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this one first i hc that harukawa is very incapable of hiding her emotions like ANY emotions even though she tries . because i figure she never would actually have much practise hiding them as an assassin bc it was not strictly necessary + we see in the game that shes actually pretty expressive , even when it comes to stuff like being flustered by her friends or being angry ( mostly at ouma and momota lol ) . so yeah anyone this one is real harukawa's soft side for phys comes through a lot ( i hope ) .
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this is so hangar coded . oughghhhggh oh harukawa u thought u were doing the right thing at any cost and now look . look how its all fallen apart around you. 'i did it for you' and the worst part is she did !!! she truly believed she was recusing phys from someone who had kidnapped and tortured them !!!!!!! she thought she was doing the right thing + who's to say someone in her shoes wouldn't do exactly the same . i can literally imagine her saying this . of course there is a flipside which is that harukawa only thinks she's doing stuff for phys because she doesn't believe they have agency of their own ( to an extent ) and they are blinded/brainwashed by ouma so it's a pretty awful double-sided coin . 'i did it for you' but only because i didn't believe you could do it for yourself .
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well this one was just frankly evil and i think it's cool to read this from both perspectives actually . from phys's perspective this is fairly clear-cut; lover ( if we're going romantic physmaki ), hunter ( when they used to be afraid of her in the earlier chapters ) friend ( middle chapters ) and enemy ( right at the start and during a lot of chapter five ). YOU WILL ALWAYS BE EVERY ONE OF THESE because their dynamic changing and shifting doesn't discredit their journey from one sort of relationship to another . i think the nature of phys and harukawa's relationship is that it's always in danger of losing its equilibrium and sliding back into something slightly toxic or unhealthy or doomed . they probably have the most inconsistent relationship in the fic ( physouma is debatable ) and i think it's because they're never totally sure what to make of each other or where the other stands , as a threat or a friend .
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slightly repeating myself on the hangar point but this just epitomises what harukawa was trying to do in ch5 . she doesnt really know how to love and have faith in other people which is a part of why she thought phys needed saving . if she had realised like chabashira , kiibo and saihara did that phys had more agency than they were letting on , it probably wouldn't have escalated resulting in their fallout and phys' fury towards her in the investigation + trial chapters . deep sigh . in conclusion harukawa fighting dog who had to use her teeth despite not wanting to . in conclusion ouma and harukawa both thinking they had no choice other than to do the worst thing possible that they truly did not want to do because they both believed it was in everyones greater interest . only to find out that if they just paid closer attention , believed a little more , there was a choice all along .
anyways im going to go vomit . genuinely amazing board , i checked out your other ones as well and OH the physouma one was genuinely fantastic . so sososo thankful u sent me this as u can see i went bananas over it + i hope ur having a wonderful day :3
sidenote i have a bunch of pinterest boards that u may or may not have seen . if u would like i can post the link to my own physouma board :o
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Text
might be some controversial takes about Hazbin/Helluva under the cut but honestly I really don't know what the popular consensus is about any of it. I'm gonna try to keep these short but here's a list of thoughts I have so far.
-I'm interested in where Hazbin could go. The concept of rehabilitation for sinners and how the meaning of rehabilitation could change, as well as the unbalanced power of heaven vs. hell and who are the true sinners is very interesting.
-I don't find myself laughing at the humor of any of these shows. It feels like the kind of humor that's only supposed to shock you with the vulgarity. Which is only really funny to a teenager, not the intended adult audience.
-the music is hit or miss, mostly miss. The Hazbin pilot songs I particularly did not enjoy.
-the animation and design are nice, tho I'm not really sure who to credit with that, as I have been made aware that Vivziepop tends to take "inspiration" from artists in an informal manner.
-really do not like the sound design. The noises are obnoxious, the volumes are all over the place and there have been times where I cannot hear what characters are saying.
-voice acting is pretty good. I understand that fans got very upset when a lot of the actors for Hazbin had to be recast with union members and tbh I'm not bothered by that. Support unions.
-im worried about what they're gonna do with Vaggie. She's starting out as the partner to the main character but she's also been established as the "PC" character who annoys the fan favorites Angel Dust and Alastor.
-I'm not at all interested in Alastor, he looks like a satire of the Vivziepop style.
-Angel Dust is interesting, and I'm not too bothered by seeing an openly and overtly queer character, even if it's not sanitized. I am a little concerned about how quickly his character depth was revealed long before the first season is even finished. Could Viv really not wait to talk about Angel Dust that much? What will be left to explore in the show?
-also like, we are getting a LOT of content for Hazbin including a spinoff already on its second season, tons of merch and lots of droplets of information that end up on the wiki BEFORE the first season of the show is even out and it doesn't feel right, like the crew is celebrating the success of the show before its even out. Weird stuff. Not sure if it's gonna bite them in the ass yet.
-the Helluva pilot was not enjoyable at all and I didn't actually start watching the show until the second season
(here comes the big one)
-I actually don't mind too much what's being done with Stolas. It makes sense that a person with very few friends and trapped in an arranged marriage with a cruel partner would make the decisions that he has, regardless of whether or not they are the right ones.
-What I am concerned with is if the story with Stolas was planned from the beginning, or if it was decided later on to recontextualize his character when they crew decided they liked Stolas more than as just a cutaway gag in the pilot.
-Moxxie and Millie are... okay. On one hand it's nice to see throughout everything Moxxie has been through, as well as literally being in Hell, he still retains his kindness, empathy and love for his wife. Millie is... okay, but I get the feeling that she exists to keep Moxxie from becoming the series punching bag, like as compensation. Or a way to inject some "wholesomeness" into our main characters. I keep hearing that a Millie episode is on the way, but I don't know what really to expect.
-as a furry/scalie who isn't into canine anthros, I'm not into Loona.
-I'm interested in seeing more of what the other rings of Hell look like, tho I fear that the Gluttony ring is going to be filled with fatphobic jokes.
-The action scenes are usually pretty cool, tho with the Vivziepop style it can be a bit eye-strain-y for me.
-vivziepop stans are scary. seeing them jump to her defense whenever she faces a major criticism is frustrating and it only incites a bigger wave of criticism. see this post if you want my extended thoughts about it.
-this series is being produced, written and released in a way I don't think I've ever seen so I'm gonna try to keep an open mind about it, but that does not mean I'm gonna enjoy it blindly NOR am I gonna nitpick it. I'm gonna keep up with it and maybe share more of my thoughts, tagged accordingly and under 'read more' lines.
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chesthighwater · 1 year
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daud for the character ask <3
First impression: FUCK that guy. CANNOT STAND HIS ASS. bro he killed my wife and kidnapped my child!!! the fucking plague is worse because of him!! OUR STATE'S INTELLIGENCE AGENCY PUT A TYRANT ON THE THRONE BECAUSE OF THIS GUY i am killing him the second i see him. on fucking sight. 0 mercy. kill kill murder kill (and i did. did not even let him finish the speech, just immediate "fuck you and die". i remember having discussed this with friends at the time and everyone being like "yeah no way that motherfucker gets to live, what the hell" LMAO)
Impression now: oh how the turn tables! um. im very normal about him. i have a normal amount of thoughts. it takes like centuries to get to the core of whatever the fuck his deal is. despite appearances, he operates internally from a collective "we" and doesn't know what to do with himself when it's gone. he very much tears himself apart but not in a tortured angsty way because he's totally fine and normal ok. grit teeth and push through survival attitude. more pretentious than he lets on, perhaps. he has so many fucking issues and he acknowledges 0 of them. saviour of orphans maker of orphans a frog in a boiling pot a cynically willing pawn a man of practicalities the shadow the heel the knife you already know all this
Favorite moment: excellent question! the most memorable things for me i think are the little first person cutscenes in the dlcs- him waking up (and potentially almost decapitating a whaler), putting on the overseer mask, interrogating the brigmore witch... and- i've talked about this before- i really like moments of him being very casually cruel. because that sort of thing comes so easy to him.
Idea for a story: ......my brainrot document which is pretty much just tiny ideas and snippets is currently 25 pages long and literally all of them save for a few involve daud. and that's not at all counting the offshoots in separate documents that are on their way to becoming actual fics. so yeah, idea for a story is right
Unpopular opinion: this is always a tough question to answer because i dont want to imply i know anything about what opinions are popular. but i guess. i slightly prefer high chaos Murder Enjoyer absolute bastard daud, and it takes me slightly more effort to get into low chaos grief stricken change of heart daud. i think the latter needs to be handled with a certain finesse (that i personally for instance lack LMAO)
Favorite relationship: it's almost overkill to answer this question. but daudmartin.
Favorite headcanon: ahahaha i have many :'D here let's go for something silly: he has an almost drill sergeant like attitude if a new whaler is REALLY going through it. hes not gonna NOT comfort them, but he's also. not really gonna comfort them. yknow very "okay i know this is tough and you hate me a little right now, but it's way worse out there, alright? so you have to get your shit together right here right now, or you'll die on an actual mission." it's not exactly tough love but it sure is something.
ask me characters and stuff<3
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spacedhead · 1 year
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homestuck reread #11: act 6 p2
aranea first appearance!!! shes so beautifullll hi girl
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okay so i think i misremembered this specific comversation. in a previous conversation with roxy, roxy accidentally IMPLIED that jane might have feelings for him. but then jake was like yeah i already know that she has a thing for me but then since he knows roxy isnt supposed to talk about it he agrees to drop it. then here he is like hey jane do you like me? be honest. just come out and say it. do you? and she is like clearly not ready to be honest yet so shes like uh no i dont
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so then hes like oh you dont well thats crazy i thought you did. but then hes like . are you sure? and she is like... haha i guess not... GAHHH THIS IS SO PAINFUL TO READ. but the problem im finding is that i feel like jake is in the wrong here but like i dont know i might do the same thing. if i suspected someone liked me and then got soft confirmation from their best friend i might also approach the situation by asking for confirmation rather than being like I KNOW YOU LIKE ME. but maybe the real thing i would do is wait for them to tell me... i honestly dont know what the right answer is... like what was his best option here because what he did felt so wrong. and jane. poor jane. she is suffering with the weight of liking this FREAK . its just hard cause i wanted her to be honest but i also get why she wasnt
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i dont even want to show this next part but jake after this is telling jane about how he thinks dirk wants to date him (which he does) and jane is just. suffering . but she keeps telling him to like go for it? like why are you sabotaging yourself like this?? i get shes trying to be a good friend but like at what cost girl your sanity?? and how is he this socially unaware when he has proven that he can pick up on the hints that jane liked him even BEFORE roxy accidentally implied it?? but now he cant tell that jane is OBVIOUSLY not happy with the situation. i actually cant tell if hes being a cruel person and deliberately ignoring her feelings or if hes just suddenly unable to pick up on her feelings. i GUESS in his defense there has been this ongoing theme of his friends saying that he has a tendency to believe people at face value and believe IN people. get it. because hope. but that is dumb and in my opinion a weak defense
to be fair. he is glasses
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what heaven looks like (without the dead cat)
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AHHHHH JUMPSCARE
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god damn you. tumut
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this is really cool
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me every time i get mad and my friends call me delusional
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this section of dirk giving jake the Lore is cool. look at alpha dave he is so awesome
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holy balls look at rose too
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HELL YEAH
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Sadge
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DO YOU OR DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT JANE HAS A THING FOR YOU....... WHAT IS HAPPENING
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hee hee look at lil seb
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this baller ass panel. hes so cool he has a fucking SWORD
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look at him go!!!!
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AHHH I LOVE THIS PANEL EVERYONE IS SO SILLY!!!!!!
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me when im the dumbest boy in paradox space
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wait this makes sense to me. the seer of mind can see brain ghost dirk. that is so cool
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I AM CRESTFALLEN. (also jane and roxy just died so that is very sad too. but they have dreamselves.) shit is kind of hitting the fan when all the alpha kids are trying to enter. also calliope just got name and appearance revealed so... hey
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this is funny
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HUHHHHH
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ok so i watched s dirk synhcronize. really good flash! some things i noticed. 1. there is that tumblr post that is like dirk just high fives meenah without even knowing who she is or what a troll is. that is wrong he DOES know what a troll is and had already briefly met her like right before the high five happened . 2 its crazy that he has no fear or hesitation when he puts his own head in the transportalizer. like bro really just was willing to kill himself for his friends. i know that he lives bc of his dreamself but still to have ZERO hesitation shows how much he loves them all. 3 in the beginning of homestuck john needed a sledge hammer to open his cruxtruder and throughout the comic most of the characters have needed to drop something heavy on the lid to pop it open but dirk just fucking kicks it open with little effort . actual baller
based hal
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this goofy ass scene look at roxys face its so me
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fuuuuuck i just watched caliborn enter... lord english destroyed the dream bubble with the john who died and a couple dead daves... (and a bunch of alternate trolls) man i fucking HATE that guy....
shes real or somefin
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dude. not cool
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i fuckin love his hashtags
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LOOK AT THEM
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gender envy
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im out of image space but ........ to be continued. this is definitely... like... i feel like after cascade the comic came to an abrupt stop. and it is taking a while for things to get going again. maybe once they arrive at the new session
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rivangel · 2 years
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oh since we’re on the topic of eren, i want to know. as a levi stan yourself, what are your opinions on eren? am i the only one who absolutely despises him? i think there was a point in the plot where he just lost my sympathy. he went from a traumatized little kid to a power hungry piece of shit in a heartbeat. the man is selfish by all means and i’m sure there’s some “deeper meaning” but even after finishing the manga, i just cannot find any sympathy for him. is it just me?
hmm you’re definitely not the only one who absolutely despises him but i’m not one of those people. (also i’m glad u read the manga bc i can talk about spoilers.)
eren is the most confusing character imo in just about every way. i wanna start with season 4 and rule out the interpretation that he was ‘acting’ being cold and cruel and overall murderous (like in liberio). he’s always been like that. ever since he was a kid he was ‘looking up at the sky’ and pretty much waiting for something to happen, hating the walls. and besides what sheltered (based on what we see of grishas parenting) 9 year old commits cold blooded murder two times? both being that type of kid that would do that, but for a girl his age he’s never actually met? mikasa killed the last guy bc it was life or death but eren was wayyyy too comfortable murdering those men, whether they were sex traffickers or ordinary bandits.
so he’s always been That Way. during the 57th expedition, levi literally said that eren is a monster, and not bc he can transform, but that NOTHING will keep him in a cage. fighting the female titan in stohess? bro already had a bloodlust. “it was like i wanted to die.” “IM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!!!!” the difference between eren’s bloodlust toward the titans in s1-s3 and onward is him learning that there are other people out there and it’s actually the people stopping him from being free. the whole world hates their island. eren wasn’t satisfied by reaching the sea by itself because he wanted more and more, combined with his desire for revenge.
however: eren cared about his friends. that’s why he was so determined for the rumbling test not to be an option when he was 18, it would’ve meant historia becoming a mindless titan (i think? i just remember historia would’ve been harmed) and he was genuine during the cart scene when he didn’t want anyone to inherit his titan. he meant it when he said he’d always wrap mikasa’s scarf, and he DIDN’T mean it when he said he hated her in s4. that part was acting. idk if i have to drudge up every moment that proves eremika care about each other (shipping aside).
anyway, and when he learned sasha died? he knew it was going to happen - the overall ‘timeline’ of aot is very linear. remember all the flashes of the future at the end of s3p1, the start of s3p2, the start of s2? there are other moments but i’m getting off topic - and he’d laughed bc that’s how eren expresses tremendous grief caused by his own worthlessness. same thing happened when hannes died in s2.
so eren cared about his friends.
MANGA SPOILERS!
hell, arguably eren cared about every innocent person. when he learned he was gonna kill the kid in marley (totally blanking on his name rn sorry), he kneeled in front of him, crying and apologized. that’s another reason i think that the aot timeline is linear. that for 2,000 years, this was set to happen (hence the title of the first episode and the episode where eren goes to paths with zeke). so in a way, EREN is a SLAVE to no one but himself. he didn’t know any of that until he kissed historia’s hand and got all the memories of the future.
about that: when eren kissed historia’s hand and saw the future, he saw up until the moment he starts the rumbling. he didn’t see that his friends would fight him. he didn’t see that he’d lose. i think that’s more proof eren cared about his friends. he knew about sasha, but he couldn’t stop her from dying. when he learned everything that was going to happen, he became so detached bc he knew it was all inevitable.
the person eren is, he would stop at nothing to get ‘freedom’. at his core, he’s malicious and like you said selfish by all means, but he’s not a psychopath either. he thought he had good intentions, and then he had to fully embrace the monster he is. he went from going fucking ballistic at reiner and bert and screaming that they weren’t human anymore to becoming inhuman himself. he’s so fucking complicated.
AND THEN. the final chapter. eren knowing the future must’ve included his knowledge that he sent dina to kill his own mom and start this story. eren knew that he MADE grisha kill rod’s family and steal the founding titan. (more reasons he became detached.) he tells armin that paradis will know peace thanks to 80% of humanity dying, but armin in eren’s last moments acted like he was thankful despite knowing how shit that excuse is, and eren must know it too. a few years of peace and all that environmental damage for what? when the world recovers, it again will try to kill paradis. HELL in the extra pages, we see paradis become a fucking fascist military state. eren didn’t activate the rumbling to protect his friends. eren tried to avoid it to protect his friends.
but it was inevitable. and at the end? he’s a slave to himself. he’s a selfish, immature, pathetic and malicious little brat, the same as he always was. he doesn’t want mikasa to forget about him boo hoo bro. but did he cry about it in front of armin bc eren had any control of beginning the rumbling, sasha dying, etc. and he’s just that horrible? or bc he had no control, and he pushed armin and mikasa away to save them from himself. that could be pretty open to interpretation i think?
so all that said, do i think it’s wrong for u anon or anyone else to hate him? lol absolutely not. even tho i don’t, that’s one of the main themes of aot. there is no black and white. everyone has their one intentions and reasons, and some you can understand, but forgive, some you can understand and can’t forgive, some you can not understand and can forgive. me personally, i can find sympathy for eren, i can understand, but his actions are still unforgivable (even if you simply counted him making that jab at levi that one time on the airship about the letter🔪/hj).
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scary-flag · 2 years
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can someone pls explain how the hell izzy hands is racist? im literally a bipoc and am fighting for my life trying to figure it out.
Hi!
The thing is most people do not actually think that! I am trying to understand the issue from the outsider perspective, but let me throw my hat into the ring:
There is, of course, a large number of people who do not like Izzy (which is understandable - he is the antagonist after all), but some of them (like, 5 or 6 people maybe? These are the same users all the time tbh, but I'm not gonna list nicknames here) make some very weird stretches. Their reasoning is mostly:
- Izzy is racist because he manipulates Ed, who is a PoC (would be true to an extent but we know Izzy's reasoning is not racially based but a toxic relationship-based)
- Izzy is racist because he only acts mean towards characters that are PoC (which is not true, as he has hit Black Pete and deprived Wee John of rations for a week which was a rather severe punishment on a ship)
- Izzy is racist because for some reason people insist he must be from the upper class, which is not true again, as there is nothing that would suggest that
- Izzy is racist because he asked the English to release Ed into his custody (this one, in fact, clearly rises from the lack of understanding what "release to custody" would mean on a ship in the 1700s and people read it in the modern sense of the term)
- Izzy is racist because he wants to dominate Ed (this is epic bullshit, the man is clearly fixated on actually *being* dominated here)
- Izzy is racist because he wants to see Ed as a cruel, unhinged murderer (and this would be racist indeed, if it was a correct assumption, but it is not because we know Izzy wants it *not* because Ed is PoC, but because he is in a toxic love with the legendary image of Blackbeard)
Tbh all the anon hate is 100% one and the same person and I am 99% sure it's one of those people who constantly post their "crit" in the Izzy Hands tag. Because let's face it: what person would spend so much time writing posts about a character they do not like?
It is worth remembering though that not everyone who does not like Izzy is a part of the weird, unhinged circle. Most people are normal about it and I had some really good discussions with those who dislike Izzy that were absolutely not hateful. They usually do not go around calling people racist and abusive for reblogging Izzy fanart.
I am also VERY disappointed seeing people who call themselves anti-racist legit attacking bipoc. This is beyond my comprehension.
If you want to dig deeper I recommend reading @uselessheretic post - they are PoC, were harrassed by the anon haters, and makes good points about the whole situation.
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purlturtle · 2 years
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For that ask thingy... I have a feeling That WH13 might be right up your ally 😉 so let's do it
Goodness, do you? I wonder why! 😅
Let's go then! (questions from here, if you too wanna have a go)
001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:
Favorite character: Myka Bering
Least Favorite character: of the core team: Artie. Of the whole series: Walter Sykes. Artie, because he keeps just too many secrets even when he is shown, again and again, that that is counterproductive. And yes, he's a bit older and set in his ways, and yes, those ways were helpful in his previous career, and yes, he was by himself for a long time but GEEZ, dude, ADAPT. Walter, because ugh slimy and manipulative and cruel and evil. And I know all of that was brough about by an artifact, and had that not happened to him he could have been a really nice guy, so I'm not fully blaming him for all of that; still: ugh. Hate 'im.
5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): I only have one ship, and that is Bering and Wells. I know other people ship other ships, and I'm cool with that, but for me it's B&W only. I'm generally not a very shippy person; I like some pairings in some shows (canon or not I don't care), but when it comes to ships, as in I'm on this ship and sailing away with it and you're never gonna get me off of this ship etc etc, that is my OTP, Bering and Wells. No other couple in no other show has ever come anywhere near how I feel about them.
Character I find most attractive: Myka Bering, but only because I like curls a little better than straight hair. So lively! Helena Wells a very close second. And then Myka Bering with straight hair 😅
Character I would marry: Again, Myka Bering, with Helena Wells a very close second. Polygamy with the both of them? Sign me up!
Character I would be best friends with: toss-up between Myka and Pete?
a random thought: it's so sad this show never got a fifth season; it would have been so amazing, I'm sure.
An unpopular opinion: I fully understand and endorse Helena Wells' actions in Instinct. I can write an entire essay about why, if you're interested, but will keep it brief here for the sake of people's dashes: Helena had the right to establish and defend her own agency and choices, even if I as a shipper wasn't happy with them. The Regents stripped her agency from her not just once (Bronze) but twice (Janus Coin), and I fully approve of her stepping the hell away from all that and finding a way to be on her own.
My Canon OTP: Artie and Vanessa. They're cute, and I like seeing older people have happy, functional relationships - for a given value of "functional", given Artie's bumbling. But hey, he's trying!
My Non-canon OTP: Bering and Wells is canon to me, but I do acknowledge that it was never actually stated in words, out loud, on screen.
Most Badass Character: Myka Ophelia Bering. Gets to be the brain AND the brawn, has a healthy dose of self-confidence, not just awkwardness and daddy issues.
Most Epic Villain: Paracelsus. Gotta admire the heights he aspired to and the lengths he went to. Also, Anthony Head chewing scenery will never not be epic.
Pairing I am not a fan of: some people apparently ship Pete and Myka? *shudders* They have so much sibling energy, I can't see it. Ship and let ship, obviously, but I don't see it, myself.
Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Leena deserved so much better. So so so much better. (if I should ever acknowledge the existence of S5, Myka as well, but I don't, so Leena it is.)
Favourite Friendship: Pete and Myka. I love how supportive he is, how they both take no shit from each other, how they have each other's backs. Close second, Myka's big sister/mentoring friendship with Claudia, as seen most wonderfully in For The Team.
Character I most identify with: Myka, to a ridiculous degree.
Character I wish I could be: I'm gonna go a bit left field here and say, I wanna be a therapist/debriefing specialist for the entire team, the way they brought in Abigail (and barely did anything with) in S4. These people need someone to look after their mental health, and there is more than enough shit to go 'round to keep Abigail and me busy for the rest of our lives.
Thanks for the ask! I had a lot of fun with this!
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haootia · 2 years
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one of my life tenets is that basically if someone just Likes Being Cruel then that is the fundamental problem & not what they are or arent being cruel to. like its not really productive to discuss whether or not any particular outlet for cruelty is more harmful than whatever else. and disclaimer obviously im speaking in ideals here and there is a lot of nuance in the actual world (see life tenet n-1 "everything is a case by case basis") and if there really is someone out there who Needs to do digital crimes to their norns in order to mitigate an urge to do real life harm to human beings then sure, whatever. but philosophically, i dont think it actually matters what justifications you make for why you want to hurt things. if you want to hurt people "but only the really bad ones!" that is a problem. if you want to hurt animals "but only the invasive ones!" that is a problem. even if you want to "hurt" inanimate objects or computer programs... if you are fixated on being cruel, even if you put some arbitrary limits on what exactly youre willing to hurt, then that is like, a major issue with your person. and i know it seems kind of ridiculous to claim that someone can be cruel to a nonliving thing that doesnt have any feelings or sensations like a norn or a doll or whatever, but like. you know it when you see it right? if someone consciously and repeatedly acts out (simulated/simulacra of) violence just for the sake of violence, regardless of what its on, thats morally unacceptable to me. and there is a difference here between like, "i cut the heads of dolls off to make art" and "im interested in the limits i can push this simulation game to" and people who are just determined to inflict pain. people who want to deliberately cause harm, to engage in the act of harming. this is a lot of baseless theorizing mostly to say that i think its dumb as hell when people are like "its ok to kill X because it doesnt actually experience pain" like actually i think we should be minimizing the amount of killing and violence we do regardless of the capacity of the target to understand it. in practice this is mostly applicable to shellfish and insects. *insert tiktok comment about smashing an oyster with a rock what about my pain what about my guilt* our actions affect all who witness them including our selves or whatever. there is a complicated weaving between this tenet and the tenet that it is inevitable that some harm will be caused as a result of one's existence and we need to live with that. sort of a negotation between my beliefs in moral ideals & my beliefs of the nature of the world as it is. and no i am not vegan i am very pro-meat in as far as the death and harvest of an animal provides a direct and material benefit to a person. ok . i have to go to bed now
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xiaq · 3 years
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Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)
Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.
I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???
(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)
CW for sex talk (again)
How does one get over purity culture?
Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.
Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.
According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.
Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.
You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.
The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.
Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.
Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)
Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.
*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).
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amoristt · 3 years
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Grazing the Fire | IV
well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3
reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!
story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!
Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions
want to support me? heres my kofi!
__________________________
“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 
A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.
Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him. 
Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this. 
For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red. 
But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you. 
It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.
But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.
“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”
“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.” 
You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.
“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it. 
You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?” 
“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”
“Oh fuck you.” 
You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most  practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy. 
“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip. 
His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”
“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”
Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”
Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy.  As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.” 
“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.
The bed you two had shared.
You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be. 
“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.
Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”
He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke. 
Then, a sudden thought struck your mind. 
He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find. 
How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.
“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.
“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.” 
“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”
If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.  
“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”
With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse. 
-----------
In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable. 
Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look. 
You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began. 
But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan. 
“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 
You lowered your head. 
“Ah, how about, ___?”
You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot. 
Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”
“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”
Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-
“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”
You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”
“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”
The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled. 
“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?” 
The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod. 
As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.  
They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.
The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.
‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned 
Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’
Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again. 
‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’
A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’
His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’
Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly. 
Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust. 
“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”
You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”
April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”
“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.
Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that? 
After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person? 
Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?
Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.
“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.
“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”
“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”
“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”
“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”
“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”
“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”
“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”
Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once. 
No one believed you.
---------
With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew. 
Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin. 
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.
You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.
As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.
Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’
You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.
The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under. 
You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?
Well, actually, there was one person.
Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed.  How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you. 
In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions. 
No wonder he was so angry. 
“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”
You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...
“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”
“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call. 
“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”
“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.” 
“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing. 
“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”
You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.” 
“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”
“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”
“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”
“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”
Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.” 
“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.
“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”
“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it. 
“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”
“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”
Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”
“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”
“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”
“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”
“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.
You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”
He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”
“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”
“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”
“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.
“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”
“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again. 
Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo
You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.
Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”
“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy.  He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.
“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”
That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.
It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”
Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right? 
“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.
Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”
“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”
He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.
What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger. 
You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”
He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”
Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying. 
“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos. 
Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh. 
“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”
You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”
Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up. 
“Right… Do you want a ride home?”
“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?” 
“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”
He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”
There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”
And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot. 
“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”
The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”
“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.” 
“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”
“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.” 
“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm. 
You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.
176 notes · View notes
azucanela · 4 years
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OMG I AM OBSESSED WITH YOUR WRITING YOU ARE DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS ON TUMBLR NO CAP!!! i love ur zuko fics, and i wanted to request some sokka x reader!!! i want u to have complete creative freedom but i love how you write slowburn omg so some enemies to friends to lovers sokka content would be insaneeee! maybe reader is fire nation (zuko’s cousin/iroh’s daughter??) but joins the gaang after crossroads or something?
AFTER | SOKKA X READER
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SUMMARY: Sokka didn’t expect the girl who held a knife to his neck to be the same girl he’d fall for. Y/N didn’t really expect to fall either. 
WORD COUNT: 10k
WARNINGS: injuries, implications of death, kisses, bloodbending, threats of bodily harm, death threats
A/N: time to give sokka the attention and hype he is OWED, also im SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGG but this is quite possibly my favorite Y/N. writing for sokka is hard tho. im not sure how much i like this tbh but its really long omg. also thank you!!!! i feel honored to be considered the best :D you are too kind
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When she was younger, Y/N joined Azula’s little troupe of girls. Though she wasn’t some loyal little soldier for her to order around, no, Y/N never feared Azula. Nor did she follow her blindly. No, it had always been a struggle for power between the two. Even when her father was booted from the throne as the rightful heir. 
Losing her brother made her wonder if giving up like her father had in Ba Sing Se was the easy way out. Perhaps thats why she promised herself she would never give up. Maybe thats why she challenged Azula to... an unofficial duel when she’d heard her comment. Challenged her and won. 
The new Fire Lord’s pride and joy had lost against his niece, a shame. 
Y/N hadn’t thought much of it, but it probably would’ve explained why Fire Lord Ozai was rather pleased when Y/N had came to him and explained her intents to go alongside her father and cousin in banishment. She was, no matter how unlikely, another potential heir to the throne. And unlike Zuko, an actual threat. Sending her on a journey to find someone who’d been missing for a century was the best way to get rid of her. 
If Y/N was honest, she viewed the banishment as more of a vacation. All her life, she had to deal with banquets, politics, war tactics, all at such a young age. It was tiring, and dull, spending day and night in the palace doing such things. Now, she had the opportunity to travel the world, though her grumpy cousin was rushing them throughout each spot, it was still nice. Zuko certainly didn’t think so, given that they hadn’t found the Avatar yet, not that Y/N believed they ever would but, it is what it is.
A sigh escaped her as she sat, on leg propped up against the other on the deck of the ship, they had arrived in the Southern Water Tribe after seeing an odd light in the distance. Maybe it was cruel, but Y/N sincerely hoped they didn’t find the Avatar. She didn’t want her vacation to end, she didn’t want to return to the politics, and she didn’t want to deal with one of the most powerful people on the planet. Aside from her own desires, Y/N couldn’t help but disapprove of Zuko’s need to please his father, the man who’d hurt him beyond forgiveness.
She sincerely doubted her father approved either. Though their relationship had been strained for some time now. Y/N didn’t hate her father, she doubted that was possible, he was a kind man and a good father. Things between them simply felt... off. She liked to think she’d gotten over it, the initial jealously she felt when she discovered her father intended to join Zuko on his hunt for the Avatar.
When she’d found out from Fire Lord Ozai. 
Sometimes she wondered if her father even intended to say goodbye. But she wasn’t a fool, Y/N knew he had recently lost a son, they were both hurting and Zuko needed someone who wasn’t going to hurt him if he did something wrong. Though, Y/N saw him try to save the lives of the soldiers of the so-called great Fire Nation, not do something wrong. Regardless, Zuko needed a father figure, yes. But Y/N needed a father as she grappled with the death of her brother. 
Maybe she was just a little bitter about it. 
“Are you coming?” Zuko asked, his words coming out harshly.
Raising a brow, Y/N shook her head, “no. Don’t get too violent, though.” She warned, looking at him pointedly, “they’re a small tribe that’s going extinct.” 
Zuko rolled his eyes as he exclaimed, “that’s not my fault!”
Sitting up to face him, Y/N smacked him upside the head as she walked past him, “considering the royal family, which you are a part of need I remind you, ordered the genocide of every single Waterbender they had...” She paused, cracking her knuckles before turning to look back at Zuko, “I would say you that everyone here probably blames you for it by assosiation.” Y/N reasoned. She had never liked the history that her ancestors had, much less approved.
Taken aback, Zuko exclaimed, “you’re a part of the royal family too!”  Y/N was well aware of the circumstances surrounding his banishment, he’d tried to save lives, but war was the only thing that mattered to the Fire Nation it appeared. 
His attempt at defense simply earned him a shrug, “perhaps.” Y/N didn’t consider herself a member of the royal family, and she doubted her father did either. And no matter what Zuko thought, though he was royal by blood, his banishment severed his ties to the throne permanently.
Unless they happened to find the Avatar, though that wasn’t very likely, Y/N decided she would rethinking her life choices should the Avatar be here of all places, as she rested her forearms on the side of the ship and watched Zuko march down his soldiers.
She wasn’t going to tell him that the Southern Water Tribe didn’t have a military, much less benders. As previously mentioned, the genocide destroyed the benders, and the most of the soldiers in the village had headed off to fight in the war against the Fire Nation. Though her brow did raise as she watched him yank an old lady from the small crowd of people, Y/N straightened her back, preparing to get involved. 
Of course, a young warrior ended up running at her cousin, war paint and all as he attempted to attack. Key word being attempted. Watching him fall face first into the snow, Y/N realized he wasn’t a warrior, but a boy. The Avatar also happened to be a boy. A very, very young boy. Not a century year old Airbender. 
Y/N supposed it was time to start rethinking her life. 
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Sokka didn’t know what he was supposed to do as he helped Princess Yue onto the Sky Bison. They needed to find Aang’s physical body, quickly, otherwise he wouldn’t be returning to the real world, and they happened to be fresh out of Avatars up until recently so that wasn’t really an option. Not when they needed the balance of the world to be restored immediately. 
Sighing, Sokka moved to get onto the Sky Bison, only to be yanked backwards, stumbling before having a knife pressed to his neck. “What the hell!” He exclaimed in shock, garnering the attention of the others that were already on Appa. Katara’s mouth gaping open at the sight of him as Princess Yue cried out in shock.
The knife against his neck is certainly uncomfortable, and he realizes that he probably should’ve stuck around Kyoshi Island long enough to learn how to get out a situation like this. “I’m coming with you. Someone has to make sure Zuko doesn’t do anything else dumb.” Comes a voice from behind him, and Sokka’s brows furrowed in confusion, who was this? And why were they trying to kill him? More importantly, how did they know Prince Zuko, the guy who had been chasing them since Aang had come out of that iceberg. Questions ran rampant through his mind, and he nearly forgot that his life was being threatened.
That was a luxury he couldn’t afford at the moment. 
Though he couldn’t see the person behind him, he could see Katara grimace at her demand, anyone associated with Prince Zuko likely had a similar end goal, to capture the Avatar. This wasn’t something they could allow, and Sokka recognized this as Katara asked, “why should we trust you?” Katara’s eyes soon met Sokka’s and he knew that no matter what he said, she would give into the girl’s demands for his safety. Sokka mentally scolded himself for failing to prevent this situation. 
The girl behind him scoffed, “unlike my dear cousin,” Sokka couldn’t help the shock that flooded him, cousin? As in Zuko is this girl’s cousin? Or did she mean someone else? He was kidding himself, there was no one else it could be. “I like banishment, it’s like a fun little vacation. I could care less about the Avatar.” The knife draws in closer to Sokka’s neck, nearly drawing blood, likely expressing the fact that she could care less if Katara believed her. Though Sokka doubted she didn’t care about the Avatar, he was one of the most important people in the world. 
But Sokka would likely die if she didn’t agree, or at least end up fatally injured. No matter how far Katara had come with her Waterbending, she hadn’t perfected it yet, and healing was only so effective. Sokka sincerely doubted she could beat the speed of this girl and her weapon considering the fact that she’d gotten the jump on them the first time around. Death wasn’t something he wanted, but anyone who knew Zuko couldn’t be trusted, much less someone who shared his blood. If he turned out... like that, Sokka didn’t want to imagine how this stranger ended up.
“Don’t try anything.” Katara warned, eyeing the girl wearily. Though it was an empty threat for the most part, in the air, there was little Katara could do against a foe. Though three, well two if you exclude the princess, against one seemed like favorable odds, this girl seemed talented in combat, even without bending.
She released Sokka, and he turned to see her beaming up at Katara, “happy to be doing business with ya.” Turning to Sokka, she looked him up and down, sizing him up before speaking, “be a gentleman and help me up?” Yeah, she was crazy. The pretty ones are always crazy. That, and she was Zuko’s cousin, it made sense. Though Sokka was fairly sure that she was joking, you could never be too sure.
“Who even are you?!” He exclaimed, exasperated and preparing to whip out his boomerang as he glared at her. He didn’t recognize her, but she’d likely been traveling with Zuko for quite some time now if they were related.
She just shrugged, “you can call me Y/N.” She got onto Appa with ease, Katara on guard a she eyed her, eyes piercing into her soul, Y/N raised a brow upon noticing this, “calm down. I wouldn’t have killed him.”
Katara inhaled deeply, trying to maintain patience as Sokka got into the saddle, “yip, yip.”
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Y/N wasn’t really shocked when it turned out Azula was after them. Of course good old Uncle Ozai sent his most valuable asset to bring them back. Though some good at come of it, Zuko cut his ponytail, something Y/N had taken pleasure in bullying him over. Now they were on the run, in the very city that her father had tried to run to the ground all those years ago. 
Irony at its finest.
Tugging at the sleeves of her Earth Kingdom garments, Y/N sighed, walking through the streets of the city. She didn’t know where she was if she was honest, and standing in the beautiful plaza, Y/N wondered if maybe, it would be better if she never returned back to that horrid apartment. Her father was starting over, getting them all jobs at a tea shop, even Zuko had tried to move on, going out on a date with a girl. 
The Earth Kingdom was an odd place, but here, no one knew who she was. It wouldn’t be difficult to restart, alone. Without the expectations she’d been raised with. Fists balling up, Y/N exhaled slowly, turning a corner. There wasn’t graffiti in this part of the city, she realized, staring at the walls. Though there was an odd poster, squinting at it, she moved closer. It was a poorly drawn image of-
A Sky Bison. The same one she’d ridden on back during the Siege of the North, not that any others existed, the Sky Bison were a dying breed. Which could only mean one thing, the Avatar was in Ba Sing Se. 
"Have you seen him?” She heard from behind her. Y/N recognized the voice, it belonged to the boy she’d held at knife point, “the drawing isn’t my best but-”
Turning around she spoke rapidly, “don’t freak out.” This was a problem.
Y/N liked to think she was the least threatening of the Royal Family, aside from her father that is. Though they could both be lethal in their own ways, neither demonstrated the true extents of their power unless it was truly necessary. Maybe that’s why Y/N hoped that the boy, Sokka, she believed his name was, wouldn’t freak out.
Of course, he did. Dropping the posters in his hand, he opened his mouth, likely to scream, only for Y/N to practically tackle him. She slammed his body against the wall, covering his mouth with her hand as she glared at him. Sokka let out a grunt of surprise, immediately beginning to struggle in her hold, “calm down! I don’t have a knife this time around.” Y/N cried out, her voice a hushed whisper. Of course, what she said was a lie, she always had at least three weapons on her. Upon entering the city, she’d knocked that number down to only two weapons, much to her dismay and Iroh’s relief.
She felt him lick her hand, and she quickly removed her hand in disgust, while keeping the other planted on his shoulder, they both exclaimed, “what the hell!”
Sokka’s eyes narrowed at her, “look. I don’t wanna cause a scene, so I’m just gonna go-” He sighed when her hand remained on his shoulder, firmly holding him against the wall as he tried to move away only to be pushed back into the wall. “Or not.” 
“Look, you cannot go back to your little group and tell them that I’m here.” Y/N tried to choose her words carefully, if she didn’t need to, she didn’t want to suggest that her father and Zuko were also in the city. “I’m trying to have a permanent vacation, away from the Fire Nation and my crazy family, in Ba Sing Se.” She explained, slowly removing her hand from his shoulder, “think you can respect that?”
He looked at her wearily, during their last interaction, she’d made no attempts to actually injure them. And when she had the Avatar right in front of her, unlike Zuko, she hadn’t tried to kidnap him. Y/N had been honest last time, and chances were, she was being honest now. That didn’t make him feel any better about trusting her though. 
“How do I know you won’t follow me and kill me in my sleep?”
Y/N looked at him incredulously, “is that a joke?” She’d considered that too though, the possibility that he’d follow her back to her shared apartment and alert his friends of their location. Y/N refused to be the reason that they lost their new lives in Ba Sing Se, and had already decided to check into an inn for the night. 
Raising a brow at her, Sokka gestured for her to give him an answer, and Y/N stared at him momentarily, “well. How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?” Y/N retorted.
Sokka rolled his eyes at her, “I’m a good person.” Came his response.
“Debatable.” 
Sokka stared at her in disbelief, “I’m trying to save the world here!” He exclaimed, and Y/N wasn’t shocked by his response, her goal had been to fluster him and she had.
Tilting her head at him, Y/N replied, “sure.” Stretching her arms upwards, she waves to him, “don’t tell your friends I was here, and we’re good.” She began to walk further into the alley, towards the other side, “see you around.” If he was here, his friends were probably around the area as well, meaning she had to leave.
His mouth gaped open and he stared at her figure as she stalked off, pausing momentarily before groaning and running after her, ending up at her side. “What do you mean, sure?” Sokka asked, confusion laced in his tone. 
Y/N raised a brow at him. “What are you doing?”  She wanted to laugh at his reaction, though he was now following her liked a lovesick puppy, which could prove problematic. 
Crossing his arms he responded, “making sure you don’t do anything bad.” Sokka eyed her suspiciously, “because I am a good person.” He asserted.
“And I’m a bad person?”
She already knew he was going to say, ‘yes, yes you are.’ After all, she was from the Fire Nation, and Y/N had no doubt she’d done terrible things in her life, especially when she’d fallen into a dark place and taken on... less than favorable coping mechanisms. 
And he’s silent for a moment, leaving Y/N to wonder if he suddenly cares about the feelings of the enemy. Only for him to say, “in my experience... good people can do bad things.” 
That wasn’t what she expected. Y/N found herself stunned, speechless as she looked to Sokka, though he simply continued to walk alongside her nonchalantly. Quickly collecting herself, she looks away from him and to the nearby food stand, “that didn’t answer my question.” And as Sokka opened his mouth to likely continue his statement, Y/N realized she didn’t want to know the answer as she spoke, “you want food? I want food. Let’s get food.”
Sighing, Sokka followed her, “as long as you don’t poison me.”
Y/N’s brows furrowed at his comment, looking back at him, “do you-” A small laugh escaped her, “do you think I just carry around poison?” 
Sokka didn’t know why he swelled with pride when he made her laugh, “in case you run into your enemies, absolutely.” It was probably because she was the enemy, and it took real talent to make someone who hated you laugh. 
“How often do you think I run into my enemies and invite them to get food with me?” She asked, picking up a few things from the stand, before heading over to pay.
Frowning, Sokka watches her pay, “I thought we were bonding over,” he paused to take a meat bun from her and shove it into her face dramatically, “meat! Yet, I’m still your enemy.”
Y/N simply shrugged, “this is a one time thing.”
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It was not a one time thing. 
Sokka found himself ‘coincidentally’ running into Y/N, more and more often. She’d be walking through the streets of the upper ring about once a week, though she had started walking through the streets of the inner ring of Ba Sing Se far more frequently than normal in recent weeks. He’d been meaning to ask her why, maybe she’d also grown accustomed to their meetings and started to come around more. During their meetups they’d talk, about things other than the war, which was a conversation difficult to come by with the others. Though he cared for his friends, talking to Y/N felt different, a good different. She wasn’t overbearing like Katara, or mean like Toph, but she also wasn’t as passive as Aang. 
It was odd. Knowing someone who had once held a knife to your neck in a more friendly way. Though, if Sokka was honest, he didn’t trust her, and she likely didn’t trust him either. They’d both taken precautions due to the mistrust between them, not that be blamed her. At the end of the day, they were still on opposing sides, kind of. Y/N had never seemed to care about finding the Avatar, but she was certainly loyal to her family above all else.
She’d demonstrated that in the Northern Water Tribe. 
Sokka was the same, if he had saw an inkling of betrayal as a possibility, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell the others. Their safety was his priority at the end of the day, and Y/N didn’t owe him anything, just like he didn’t owe her anything. Maybe that was the beauty of it all. But for now, everything remained peaceful, calming, and simple.
Of course, all good things must come to an end. 
Katara had oddly disappeared after Aang arrived with news of his vision. And then, as though things couldn’t get any weirder, Iroh arrived, Y/N’s apparent Father Iroh. Toph seemed to know him well, which certainly came as a shock to Sokka and Aang. “I need your help, Prince Zuko has been captured.” He explained, opening his mouth to continue only for Sokka to interrupt. He couldn’t help it when his brows furrowed in both confusion and frustration, Y/N had never suggested that the rest of her family was here.
“Are you crazy? You guys were trying to capture Aang not to long ago!” Sokka pointed out, throwing his arms outwards, “why not get Y/N to help?” She was certainly capable of raiding the palace and retrieving her cousin.
At this comment, Iroh’s face darkened, “we were separated in the palace. I’m unsure if they managed to capture her or if she escaped.” Oh. So that’s what he was going to say. 
Sokka couldn’t help it when his face dropped, looking to Iroh he exclaimed, “well- why didn’t you lead with that!” Pushing past Aang who had been prepared to start giving a speech on why they should assist Iroh, only for his mouth to gape open as Sokka headed for the door.
“Why are you so eager?” Toph asked as they began to follow him out the door.
He faltered, quickly trying to think up a good excuse as he replied, “no reason.” 
Toph’s frowned, “I can tell when you’re lying Sokka.” She reminded him. 
“We can discuss this later!” He exclaimed, flustered. “Let’s go.”
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Y/N had contemplated killing Zuko before. 
It had never really been serious, as far as she would’ve gone was maybe injuring him badly enough that she got her point across. But at the end of the day, she protected Zuko to the best of her ability, and tried to keep his mind from being poisoned by the Fire Nation ideals that she’d once lived by unquestionably. 
Now she actually wanted him dead. He stood alongside Azula, who had offered Y/N her spot in her little gang hours ago, though she’d rejected the offer much to Azula’s chagrin. But she seemed sure that Y/N would accept some time soon. Perhaps it was because Zuko had betrayed her father and left him to the Dai Li. 
He had betrayed her father, the man who had practically raised both of them. 
Y/N had a violent past, she wouldn’t deny, and she liked to think that she was past all that. But looking at the situation ahead of them, watching the Waterbender, Sokka’s sister, Katara, cry over the body of the Avatar, she realized that maybe violence was the answer. Just this once. 
So, when she hopped in front of them, she had a plan. A violent one. 
“Pull yourself together.” She snapped at Katara, who looked up at her, bloodshot eyes and tears streaming down her confused face, “he’s getting out of here alive. But first, I need you to soak them.” Y/N gestured towards the troops coming towards them, Zuko and Azula accompanying them. Katara opened her mouth, and Y/N didn’t care what she was going to say as she ordered, “now!” 
Katara’s brows drew together as she released the Avatar’s head onto her lap, raising her hands to use the waterfall behind them to successfully drench the soldiers, who groaned at the discomfort but pausing temporarily before they continued towards them. “What did you think that would accomplish? What a pitiful-” Azula’s taunts were paused when she watched as Y/N drew her hands together, inhaling deeply, and Azula stopped her movement. “That’s not possible.” 
Suddenly, lightning was between Y/N’s fingertips, and she extended her hand into the large puddle of water that Katara had created. Y/N had learnt to bend lightning soon after she’d mastered Firebending, from her father, he’d insisted that she only use it when necessary, so she kept her ability to herself. This was necessary, she decided, hand touching the water and sending a shock throughout everyone with it, successfully putting all of the soldiers out of commission. 
Unfortunately, Azula recognized the signs of lightning bending, and withdrew alongside Zuko, and the two were now coming to attack from above at a rapid rate. Y/N whipped her head around to see Katara, mouth gaped open at all the fallen soldiers. “You two need to leave, I’ll hold them off.” She began to move to create another strike of lightning
“No.” Called out another voice, and Y/N whipped her head over to see it was her father, Dai Li agents likely nearby as he moved in front of Y/N. “You all need to leave. Take Y/N with you, she will help the Avatar reach his destiny.” Y/N wanted to laugh at that, how could he be so sure? If the boy did die, then this would all be for nothing
Y/N scoffed, “are you crazy?” She moved closer to her father, “unlike Zuko, I’m not leaving you.” She exclaimed, exasperated. 
Iroh simply smiled at her as he said, “I’m proud of you, Y/N.” 
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Sokka knew he seemed dumb. He knew how others perceived him, as the ‘extra’ member of Team Avatar, the useless one, because he lacked bending. At the end of the day, Sokka was the brains of their operations, he was observant, and this helped him develop plans that most people would never even consider.
Not that anyone else knew, but Sokka was the only one that had actually interacted with Y/N prior to what happened in Ba Sing Se. Sure, they’d all met once or twice in the past, but Sokka had a knife to his throat then, so Y/N probably didn’t seem that appealing to the others. And he doubted they understood how odd it was that she was so... apathetic. Normally she’d tease, and joke alongside him but now? 
It was odd, and nobody else could notice the shift in her personality but him, and he was concerned. Y/N had lost her father, and been betrayed by her cousin, and she had yet to talk about it, at all. Sokka liked to think that they were close enough to discuss such things, and he’d tried to get some sort of emotion out of her, the key word being tried. 
Despite her apathetic personality, the others had warmed up to her for the most part. Apparently Toph had met Y/N in the past, during the time she’d run off and encountered Iroh. So, the two got acquainted fairly fast, Aang was happy to have a Firebender, and insisted that once he was back to full strength, and they’d found a better place for practice, he’d learn Firebending from her. Y/N had agreed but it was clear Aang wasn’t as excited as he was acting, Sokka figured he still associated the time he hurt Katara with Firebending.
Katara had been far less weary of Y/N than Sokka had expected, but given what Katara had told him when she’d first joined, that made sense. Y/N was a powerful Firebender who had betrayed her entire nation to help save Aang’s life, and though Katara didn’t approve of everything she’d done in the past, she tolerated her. Which was better than nothing in Sokka’s book.
They were currently camped out in the woods beside a Fire Nation town, everyone had scattered to prepare for the few nights they’d likely stay in the area. Katara had gone to the town with Toph and Aang, in search of supplies and food, while Sokka and Y/N set up the camp and collected wood to help start a fire. Y/N had insisted that she could maintain the fire without any wood, but Sokka viewed this as an excuse to get her alone and force her to discuss her feelings.
“So...” Sokka mumbled, looking to her as she leaned down to pick up another piece of wood, “lovely weather we’re having.”
Y/N turned to him, raising a brow before nodding, “yeah.” It was clear she wasn’t entirely paying attention the nonsense that was coming out of his mouth as he tried to get her to listen to him. 
Sokka grabbed another piece of wood, “how have you been?”
Tilting her head at him in confusion, Y/N brought another piece of wood into her arms, “fine.” Looking up at the dimming sky she frowned, “we should start heading back to that spot we’d found earlier.” Y/N turned to begin walking, and Sokka struggled to match her pace.
His brows furrowed in frustration as he stared at her, the light of the falling sun filtering in between the trees and onto them. Y/N seemed to glow as she maneuvered between the trees, “how have you been sleeping?” Even Sokka sounded confused at the question he asked, but he didn’t know how to broach the topic with Y/N.
She simply paused her movement, turning to him, he stumbled slightly due to the abrupt stop, and met her eyes. “Just ask what you wanna ask, Sokka. Stop dancing around whatever it is.” Y/N sounded tired, looking to him expectantly as she awaited his question. Sokka scolded himself for being so obvious that she’d noticed something was up. 
He sighed, “are you okay?” And she opened her mouth to respond but he continued, “actually? You can say that you are okay, and not mean it. Y/N you lost your dad and were betrayed by your cousin, and you-” Sokka grimaced as he met her eyes, “you haven’t been the same since you joined us.”
Y/N is silent for a moment, then her eyes were piercing into his, “how would you know that I haven’t been the same?” She asked, turning away to continue walking back to the chosen campsite, “it’s not like you know me.” His statement had set her off it appeared, but her response had easily done the same for him. 
“Are you serious? Not like I know you?” He scoffed, jogging to catch up with her, “I know that you do whatever it takes to protect the people you care about. I know that you really like Earth Kingdom food because most of the food within the Fire Nation is on the spicier side.” Y/N didn’t seem to be listening, and the camp was in sight, but Sokka continued, “I know that you get really cold easily unless you regulate your body temperature with your Firebending. And I know that you can’t pick a favorite color because you are very indecisive.” 
Aggressively, Y/N dropped the sticks into the center of the campsite as they arrived, turning to him, “you can stop now.” Her voice was almost taunting as she spoke, sarcastic in a way. 
Sokka simply followed suit, placing the firewood in the center and facing her head on, “and most importantly, I know what it’s like to lose someone.” He takes her hand, and Y/N practically growls at the contact, attempting to yank her hand out of his grasp, she ends up pulling him closer towards her. Sokka clumsily topples onto her, knocking the both of them down into the dirt with a grunt. His forearms preventing him from crushing Y/N under his body weight as he held himself up, his eyes meet hers.
Y/N finds herself glaring daggers at him, while Sokka finishes his little speech with, “you don’t have to deal with this alone.”
And in that moment, he looks at her, really looks at her. And she’s really pretty.
Y/N opens her mouth to say something to him, only for someone else to begin speaking, “are we interrupting something?” Toph. Looking up, Sokka sees the others as well, Aang looks rather smug as he wiggles his eyebrows at Sokka, and Katara gives him a pointed look, likely disappointed that he’d fraternizing with the former enemy. He can’t help it when he feels his cheeks warm, and before he can move to get off Y/N, she’s launched him off of her, and he’s flat on his back on the ground. Toph laughs at the actions, bending a seat of earth for herself and the others before falling backwards into it, the girl seems to wish she had popcorn as she watched the moment unfold.
“No.” Y/N mumbles, bringing herself to her feet and dusting herself off. “I’ll be in my tent if you need me.” She retreats into one of the tents they’d set up earlier, and Sokka groans as he lets his head fall backwards into the ground and runs his hands over his face.
When he removes them, Aang is standing over him, along with Toph, while Katara organizes the firewood. “So... did we interrupt something?” Toph asked.
Sokka just sighs, his plan failed. This time at least. Next time, his goal would be to make her laugh, to make her smile. At least she had expressed some emotion, anger was better than nothing.
Anger seemed to turn to annoyance, since Y/N doesn’t leave her tent until nightfall and Sokka can’t help but wonder what was entertaining enough to keep her in there for all that time. When she does exit, she uses her Firebending to light a fire, and uses the firewood they’d collected earlier to ensure it stays alight. The rest of the group was seated around the center of the campsite, and Sokka wonders if she’s going to go back to her tent when she realizes the only open seat is next to him. 
She doesn’t return to her tent though and he’s grateful. Though she sits as far as possible from him on the bench that Toph had created, half-heartedly listening to the things that the others are saying. Y/N can feel herself getting cold and can’t help the resent that bubbles up in her chest as she recalls what Sokka send earlier. Exhaling deeply, a puff of blue fire escapes her mouth and Y/N feels nauseous at the small reminder of Azula. 
This catches Sokka’s attention, though the others are too enraptured in the story Aang was telling, Sokka turned to her, “cold?” He asked, leaning to the side to grab a blanket from his small pack, he offers it to her.
Y/N knew she wouldn’t be able to regulate her temperature when she fell asleep, but accepting the blanket from Sokka felt like... it felt like accepting him and everything he had said about her. So, when she doesn’t take the blanket from his hands, Sokka sighs, moving to put it back, only for Y/N to snatch the blanket from his hand and wrap it around herself begrudgingly.
This was her way of apologizing, moving closer to Sokka on the small bench she huffed as she pulled the blanket tighter around herself and turned her attention to Aang. She’d been mean, she wouldn’t deny, but what was she supposed to say? Exhaling deeply, Y/N closes her eyes temporarily, allowing drowsiness to consume her for a moment, before looking back to Aang.
It isn’t until Sokka feels a weight fall onto his shoulder midway through his own story that he realizes Y/N has fallen asleep, his mouth gaping open in shock as he pauses his words. He quickly shakes off the shock, cheeks warming as he turns back to the rest of the group, who all regard him curiously. Aang once again wiggles his eyebrows and Sokka ignores the action, continuing his story. Though he’s more weary of his vivid hand movements in fear of awakening Y/N, and noticeably quiets his voice. Sokka finds himself wishing he was Y/N as he listens to Katara’s Water Tribe horror story intently, after all, this is the most peaceful he’s ever seen her. 
It doesn’t last long, because she’s soon startled awake, hand going to her side where she keeps her dagger as she and Toph speak simultaneously, “someone’s coming.”
As an old woman emerges from the shadows, Sokka practically holds Y/N down to keep her from lunging at her and attacking as the woman speaks. And of course, Y/N’s distaste for the woman doesn’t stop there, even when she invites them into her home, though Sokka doesn’t blame her. She’s a suspicious woman. 
It’s not until he and Aang are attacking each other that Sokka regrets preventing Y/N from attacking the old woman when she had the chance. Katara is struggling to move, and Sokka can only hope that Toph and Y/N return from the cave soon as he yelps upon nearly making contact with Aang, the old woman laughing cynically. Sokka watches as she shifts, hand outstretching behind her, “don’t think I forgot you little Firebender.” 
His eyes widen in both shock and fear as Y/N’s body is suddenly thrown onto the ground in front of him. Her body rising almost mechanically, back to a stand, Sokka realizes there’s lightning at her fingertips, the woman manipulating her body to aim for Sokka. “A shame you’ll be the woman to end your friend’s life isn’t it,” She’s making eye contact with Katara who is crying out and begging for her to stop.
Sokka can see the panic in Y/N’s eyes as the her hands aim towards him, “Y/N. It’s okay.” He calls out her, in an attempt at assurance that he doubts does much to soothe her. “It’s okay.” He repeats, squeezing his eyes shut as he prepares for the lightning to hit him. Except it never does, instead, it goes upwards into the sky as Y/N cries out in pain, having moved her body despite the woman blending her blood. 
She had overpowered Hama’s bloodbending, something that clearly came as a shock to the old woman as Y/N turned around sluggishly, staring at the shocked old woman as blue fire left her mouth once more, chest heaving. Sokka could feel the weight on his bones slowly disappear, leaving behind an ache, the woman likely intended to focus her abilities onto Y/N, who was struggling to walk towards her. 
“Scared?” Y/N asked, looking up at the woman, “you should be.”
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The next time that Team Avatar feared Y/N. She was face to face with Zuko.
He’d approached them as they sat in the Air Temple. And Y/N had practically jumped out of her seat, preparing for a fight as lightning seemed to dance at her fingertips. Though Sokka knew better than to allow her to attack her cousin, and grabbed her arm. “Can you guys handle this?” He asks the others, maintaining eye contact with Y/N. The others looked to them understanding what would likely occur if Y/N was allowed to be involved.
Zuko wouldn’t walk away from that fight. 
“We got this Sokka.” Katara assured, pure hate in her eyes as she stared Zuko down, and Sokka couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he should remove both of them from the situation. 
Sokka’s hand found Y/N’s, and it was almost burning hot, a sparks seeming to fly between them, he pulls at her hand. Y/N hesitantly allows him to drag her away, though she turns back momentarily to meet Zuko’s eyes. “I’ll kill you later, cousin.” She promises, and her voice is scarily calm. “For my father.” The condescending tone in her voice and the wince Zuko has in response is enough for Sokka to know that her intent was to hurt him emotionally if she couldn’t do it physically, and it was clear she had been successful.
Inhaling deeply, Y/N closes her eyes temporarily as Sokka brings her into one of many abandoned rooms in the temple, sitting her down onto a bed before kneeling down in front of her. “Are you good?” He asks. 
“That’s a stupid question.” Comes her response.
Sokka tilts his head at her, giving her a smile, “well I’m a stupid guy.” 
He’s rubbing gentle circles in her hand as she shakes her head, a small laugh escaping her, “no you’re not.” Her voice cracks and she cringes at the sound so she clears her throat, staring at the wall beside her. Sokka can’t help the way his heart swells at this comment, because for once he doesn’t feel like the comic relief, he doesn’t feel like the side character. Though he appreciates the rest of Team Avatar and loves them all dearly, at times, they didn’t take him seriously. 
Y/N makes him feel important. Though he doesn’t say this as he looks at her, clearly shaken by Zuko’s sudden appearance, she speaks once more, “are you sure I can’t kill him?”
This time Sokka laughs, shaking his head, “I’m sure Katara would love to help you with that, but I doubt Aang would approve.” 
Y/N nods slowly, letting out a shaky breath as a tear escaped her, though she quickly wiped it away and looks to the ground. “You wanna sit with me?” She asks, patting the spot on the bed beside her. 
“Sure.” He replies softly, moving to sit on the bed with her. One he’s situated, Y/N leans her head onto his shoulder, and Sokka finds his hand wrapping around her waist. And they sit like this for several moments. 
Taking a deep breath, Y/N removes her head from his shoulder and looks to him, “thank you.”
Sokka raises a brow, “for what?”
“Being here.” She replies, bringing her hand to move a hair from his face, Sokka watches her actions intently and in awe. “With me.” Her hand remains on his face for longer than necessary, and when she moves to let it fall back into her lap, Sokka’s hand cups hers. 
They’re both silent when Sokka’s hand releases hers, and his other hand leaves her waist, both coming to her face. The look in his eyes tells her enough, and she nods to him. 
The kiss felt like the first breath of fresh air in a while. Maybe it’s because it had been long overdue, but as Y/N brought her hands to his arms to pull him closer, she felt her head empty of all thoughts. 
He pulls away momentarily, their foreheads resting against each others, he can see her eyes are shut, lashes pressed against her cheeks. “I hope,” Sokka pauses, and her eyes flutter open to look at him, he can feel his cheek warm as he continues, “I hope I can always be here, with you.” It’s a confession in its own way, and Sokka understands the weight of his words as he watches her reaction. 
She opens her mouth, likely to reply, be closes it quickly, and Sokka can’t help the panic that floods him. Though this is quickly replaced by the feeling of her lips on his as her hand collides with his chest and pushes him down on the bed, earning a grunt from him. 
“Guys, Zuko is gone-” Y/N throws herself onto the floor as she rolls off Sokka, and he sits up immediately. “Am I interrupting something now?” Aang asked, giving Sokka a look.
Y/N clears her throat, “no.” Sokka couldn’t help it when his brows drew together at this comment, bringing a hand to his temple as he sighed, and Y/N stood, dusting off her thighs as she mumbled, “see you guys later.”
She started avoiding him after that. 
When Zuko joined the group, she’s also made a point to avoid him no matter how hard he tried to apologize to her. And of course, when Sokka first showed him to his room they had a... chat. To put it simply, Sokka had threatened him. 
Just a little. 
“So yeah, here it is, your room.” Gesturing to the room, Sokka gave Zuko a tight lipped smile, watching him wearily. 
Zuko’s back was to him as he placed his stuff down, “thank you.” He said, expecting that to be the end of it, upon hearing the door close he assumed Sokka had left.
When he turned around, Sokka was still very much there. “Let’s have a chat, Prince Zuko.” It didn’t go unnoticed by Sokka how the boy grimaced at the use of his title, though that didn’t stop him from moving forward and placing a hand on Zuko’s shoulder a little too tightly. “Y/N does not want to speak with you.”
“I know,” Came his reply. “Thank you for keeping her from... killing me. The other day. I intend to apologize-”
A small laugh escaped Sokka, “next time. I won’t stop her.” This was for multiple reasons, one of which being that Y/N was avoiding him, and the other being that he wished to respect her and her feeling about Zuko. “And you need to respect her wishes. One of those wishes being, avoiding you. Until she approaches you, leave her be.”
Zuko’s brows furrowed at this comment, “she’s my cousin. You can’t expect-”
“Leave. Her. Be.” 
Zuko became silent, nodding slowly as he looked to Sokka curiously. 
And now, to avoid some of his problems and solve some of them, Sokka ended up running away in a hot air balloon with the person he related to the most at the moment, and the person he threatened rather recently. Zuko. Both of them were being avoided by someone important in their lives, and they both had slightly crazy younger sisters. Though their conversations were certainly... odd.
“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”
Zuko looked at him for a moment before saying, “that’s rough, buddy.” There was silence after this, a temporary lapse in conversation that Zuko seemed determined to fill. “So...” Zuko mumbled. “You and my cousin huh.” 
It wasn’t a question, Sokka realized this, but he disregarded it as he responded, “what about us?” Playing dumb would hopefully get him to drop the subject. 
Zuko raised his brows at Sokka, “us?” 
Scolding himself, Sokka realized he’d unintentionally dug a deeper hole for himself when he said this as he tried to avoid Zuko’s gaze. “Not really.” Sokka replied, “she’s avoiding me too.” 
Nodding, Zuko gave him a tight lipped smile, “what did you do?”
“I wish I knew.” Sokka could only make assumptions about why Y/N had begun to avoid him, but at the end of the day was confused over it.
He really needed to talk to her. 
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As the day of Sozin’s Comet drew closer, Sokka had started trying to talk to Y/N more and more, she’d keep basic conversation but whenever he tried to address... the kiss, Y/N would shut down the conversation. And now, it was the day of Sozin’s Comet, and they established that Zuko and Katara would take on Azula, Aang would take on Ozai, and the rest of them would go after the army that was heading for the Earth Kingdom. 
It seemed that Sokka intended to try to speak with her once more as he approached her while she strapped a dagger to her thigh. “We need to talk.” He said, plopping down onto a rock beside her.
“About battle strategy?” She asked, looking to him, “I had some ideas.”
Play dumb, play dumb, play dumb.
Sokka’s brows furrowed as he shook his head, “about the kiss, Y/N.” Y/N tried to hide her shock at his forwardness, he’d never been this blunt before, during his previous attempts to discuss this with her. Turning to him, she prepared to speak but he silenced her, “you’re going to listen this time.” Grimacing, he looked away, towards the horizon. “I don’t know what’s going to happen today. And if something goes wrong, I need you to know-”
“Nothing is going wrong.” Y/N stated firmly. “Nothing. So, we can have this conversation after.” 
Sokka sat up from his place on the rock, moving in front of her, “there’s no way to guarantee that Y/N.” 
Squeezing her eyes shot, Y/N took a deep breath, “I’ll make sure nothing happens to you guys.” She promised, “and I swear we can talk about this after.” She grabs onto his hands, holding them in hers as she looks away. Y/N knew why she was avoiding it. He was right, it was totally possible for one of them to die, and a relationship in the midst of a war was the worst possible idea. After would be better, or at least that’s what she’d told herself.
The pleading look in his eyes almost burns through her resolve as he asks, “will we?” It almost hurts that he doesn’t believe her, but Y/N can’t blame him.
“We need to go.” Her voice was almost a whisper as she releases his hands. Even if she wanted to continue discussing the subject, they needed to begin the battle soon. 
Sokka frowned though, “if you don’t want this, just tell me and I’ll-” He sighed, bringing a hand to his temple. “I’ll stop bothering you.”
Y/n began to shake her head, “you are never a bother to me I just-” Sighing, she looked into his eyes, “I want this. I do, I’m just scared, and we’re in the middle of a war Sokka!” She exclaimed, the words spilling out of her mouth before she can stop them.
“You think I don’t know that?” Sokka cried out, exasperated. “Y/N I’m so scared that something is going to go wrong, and I’ll never get to tell you that I-”
“Don’t say it.” She interrupts, fear in her veins as she watches him.
So, he didn’t. 
If she didn’t feel like she had something to come back to, maybe that would make it easier. Sacrifices would have to be made to reach victory, and Y/N wouldn’t hesitate to be the one to make them if it meant the others survived. They deserved to see the new world, the world of peace, prosperity, and freedom, the one that came after all this.
Y/N could feel the power flooding her as the comet drew closer, pure and raw power. Though this accompanied by her skill would likely help her in the upcoming battle, dozens of Firebenders with half her skill and the power of the comet was something she was definitely worried about. Overpowering them all was unlikely, and in the best case scenario, Y/N could slow them down. But she wasn’t a fool. In war, there were always casualties, and she was prepared to become one of many. 
Then there were the thoughts in the back of her mind. Though nobody had discussed it, the throne could potentially go to her after all this, and that wasn’t really something Y/n was looking forward to debating. Perhaps it was selfish, but Y/N didn’t really care. Was it wrong of her to dream of escaping the shackles that bound her to the Fire Nation since birth, to leave behind the politics and the lies and the pain of it all?
Maybe. 
Sokka knew Y/N had a lot going on in her mind right now. And he knew she was scared of what was to come, and no matter how much it hurt him, he respected her wishes to wait until this battle was over to discuss whatever it was between them. He knew where he stood. But now that Suki had left them, he found himself beginning to regret it. On the top of the Air Balloon, Toph was practically blind, and Sokka could do little in terms of long distance, aside from his boomerang. Which left Y/N to do her best to defend them from the Firebenders that had begun to swarm them. 
“Go!” She cried out, knocking one of the Firebenders off the balloon. “Take out the rest of the fleet.” Y/N dodged the oncoming flames, intercepting them with her own to prevent the others from getting burned.
But Sokka wasn’t going to let anyone die today. “You still owe me a conversation,” came his response, looking down at the bridges on the Air Balloon. “Jump!” Sokka cried out as another ball of fire rushed towards them, he took Toph by the hand and hoped that Y/N followed. 
Thankfully, she did, he took notice of her as he fell towards the bridges extending from the giant hot air balloon. They were all screaming as they fell, and Y/N grunted in pain as she hit Sokka, tumbling over him and off the edge, yelping as her hands grasped the bridge, with little leverage. Toph similarly went over the side, her screams filling Sokka ears as Y/N released one of her hands from the bridge and caught Toph’s wrist. 
Panic flooded Sokka as he scrambled to the edge of the bridge, Y/N’s hand slipping, “Sokka! Hurry up-” Another scream rips out of her as she loses her grip on the edge.
Nearly falling as he grabbed her hand, his chest heaved. “It’s gonna be okay.” He promised, looking into Y/N’s panicked eyes. “It’s gonna be fine Toph!” He cried out to her.
“Yeah, right!” She called out into the wind, the fear evident in her voice despite the sarcastic nature of the comment. “Y/N I don’t wanna die.” 
Y/N almost can’t hear her, too focused on maintaining her grip on both Sokka and Toph’s hands. She exhales slowly, eyes falling on the soldiers that are beginning to make their way down to them as she replied, “you’re gonna be fine, I promise. I’m gonna get you to Sokka, okay?” 
Sokka was internally panicking, he wouldn’t be able to fight back against the incoming soldiers if both his hands were occupied, but his grip was faltering and he couldn’t pull them both up. Grimacing as he looked down at the two, he nodded in agreement to Y/N signaling that he was ready. It made sense in his mind, she would be able to use her free hand to Firebend, which was far more useful than anything he could provide at the moment. 
Inhaling deeply, Y/N looks to Toph, “Toph, I need you to climb up my body, and grab Sokka’s free hand, okay?”
Toph’s death grip on her hand seems to grow stronger, tears brimming her eyes, “I- I don’t think I can.” 
Y/N shakes her head at these words, “yes, yes you can. Bring your legs up to grab my lower body, and then make your way up, okay? Like a tree.”
Toph shook her head rapidly, “I’ve never climbed a tree!”
Sokka couldn’t help but grow impatient as he exclaimed, “there are soldiers coming, Toph please!” His hand was growing sweaty as he used his free hand to throw his sword at one of the oncoming soldiers, effectively knocking him down. 
Y/N felt her arm swing slightly, and watched as Toph blindly extended her legs, finally managing to wrap them around her legs. She released Y/N’s hand and wrapped both arms around her lower body, slowly inching upwards until her legs were around Y/N’s waist and her arms were on her shoulders. “Good job, now reach up, as far as you can, and Sokka’s gonna grab your hand.” Y/n instructed using her free hand to pat the hand that Toph had wrapped around her.
Y/N could feel the young girl’s tears fall onto her shirt as she extended her hand upwards, Sokka’s freehand moving as far down as possible. The strain on Y/N’s body slowly becoming too much as tears leaked out of her eyes.
Maybe it would be better to just... let go.
She quickly shook off those thoughts, Toph, Toph, Toph, she couldn’t do anything brash until Toph was safe. Y/N watched as Sokka’s hand narrowly missed Toph’s. “Sokka, please.” Y/N whispered, looking to him with pleading eyes.
Maybe it was the desperation he heard in her voice that moment, or maybe it was pure luck, put his fingers grazed Toph’s and he latched on, extending his arm as far as possible and gripping her hand. “Now let go of me, and Sokka’s gonna pull you up, okay?” Y/N explained, looking to Sokka, his eyes meeting hers. Y/N quickly realized he couldn’t lift either of them up. Just like her, this was straining his muscles, and Sokka was struggling to keep both of them up. 
“Sokka.” She said, demanding his attention, his eyes met hers, filled with fear as Toph relieved Y/N’s body of her weight and evened out the distribution on Sokka’s body. “You can’t fight back with both your hands taken.” More tears were streaming down her face as she spoke, “a-and... you can’t pull us both up.” Sokka was crying too now, shaking his head rapidly as Y/N simply pointed out the facts.
Toph’s grip on his hand tightened, “we’re all going to die.” There was resignation in her voice, and it hurt Y/N to hear it.
“We’ll figure it out. We are all going to be okay.” He stated firmly, a shaky breath leaving him as he made an attempt to pull them both upwards, a failed attempt.
Squeezing her eyes shut momentarily, Y/N allowed herself to imagine it, a life with Sokka and the rest of her friends. A life where they were all happy. Where everyone made it out of this war alive, and they helped bring balance to the world.
To give them that world, they had to end this war. And what was war without death?
Opening her eyes, she looked to Sokka, and he was panicked, noticing that far more soldiers had surrounded them and were preparing to mercilessly throw them off the balloon. “Sokka.” She repeated, and he looked to her with a tear streaked face. 
“I love you.” 
Everything seemed to slow as she spoke this words, and Y/N didn’t see the horror on his face for long as the grip of his hand faltered when she released it, he was screaming, crying, begging for her to stop. Toph clearly didn’t understand what was going on as she began to call out Y/N’s name in a panic. 
And then she was falling. 
It appeared there would be no after.
It felt peaceful, she decided. Falling. The stress on her body had dissipated and she caught one final glimpse of Sokka’s mortified face before going through the clouds. The comet was visible from where she was, the horizon, it was a beautiful way to die. But staring at the comet she realized she wanted to know what would come after, she realized that Toph was practically helpless and all Sokka had was a boomerang against dozens of Firebenders.
They would die. So, what was the point of her sacrifice? What was the point of her dying?
No, she wouldn’t be dying today.
Inhaling deeply, Y/N felt the power course through her veins, and she reminded herself that she was Y/N L/N, a force to be reckoned with. Nobody would forget that as fire tore through the soles of her shoes, and extended from her hands, propelling her upwards. 
She was the daughter of the famed Dragon of the West. And she would take on his mantle, she decided, as she flew upwards and through the clouds. 
She could see Sokka had managed to bring Toph upwards and onto the platform alongside him, and they were surrounded by Firebenders. It was clear that they’d seen her when their mouthes gaped open, and a few of the soldiers began to retreat, much to the chagrin of their commanding officer. Y/N found herself ceasing her Firebending and falling towards the platform, she landed in a roll and rose on one knee before opening her mouth and allowing fire to pour outwards.
The Firebenders fell off the bridges beside them one by one, and those who didn’t retreated back inside along with the others at the sight of the Air Balloon that Suki had evidently comandeered.
Closing her mouth, Y/N’s chest heaved, and she felt Toph tackle her from behind, “you’re alive!” She exclaimed, punching Y/N’s arm roughly, “idiot.” She dug her head into Y/N’s shirt.
“Yeah, I am an idiot.” Y/N replied breathlessly, holding the girl tightly.
When Toph finally released her, she gave her a smug look, “I’ll give you and him a minute.” Though this was partially an excuse to head back inside and into the safety of the balloon, maybe even attack some of the remaining Firebenders, it was also because Toph could read the room.
And there stood Sokka, mouth gaping open, tears streaming down his smiling face as he looked at her, before lunging towards her similar to how Toph had. Except his hands came to her cheeks as he brought their lips together, effectively knocking the two onto the ground of the platform, be pulled apart from her with a smile on his face, “I love you too.”
Yeah, after was looking pretty good right about now. 
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A/N: i hope you guys liked this SUPER LONG THING WOW, that was an accident. i was super close to like breaking everyones hearts and killing Y/N but then i felt bad so be grateful i was nice ksaljdlahfkj
anyways take care of yourselves!
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taglists:
atla:  @bubblebars @jada-cleo @art-flirt @the-deli-meat
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alfredolover119 · 4 years
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I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.
thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)
angsty zukka wips
first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe
-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen
-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!
An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.
Yeah, nah.
and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka
-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature
-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.
It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.
Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers
-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.
-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao
Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.
breakable heaven by @fruitysokka
-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen
-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.
With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.
angsty zukka fics (completed!)
(i’ll put these in wc order)
lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka
-7k, rated g
-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.
Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.
This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas
-9k, explicit
-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 
If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.
put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci
-9k, teen
-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 
Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?
the thing about dancing by anodymalion
-9k, teen
-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.
The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.
i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey
-10k, mature
-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.
Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.
this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 
-18k, teen, major character death 
-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.
Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.
Anything for You by beersforqueers
-23k, explicit
-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 
In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.
Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead
-64k, mature
-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 
Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.
In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning
-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence
-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.
As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.
That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey
-103k, teen
-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 
In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?
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