everybodys gotta get back into the practice of using pseudonyms online... i remember the time of screen names where u never ever told anyone ur real name and that was just understood as basic internet safety. plus having a screen name is fun because sometimes it sticks so well that it becomes part of ur identity that u can use in whatever facet of ur life you choose. it rocks to pick your own name
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through a combination of severe depression, autism, an intense desire to never be perceived, gender fuckery, and aroaceness, I completely swerved the performative femininity/body dysmorphia thing and i still don't have a skincare routine
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
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Danny fake guardian angel au
You know how sometimes it’s highlighted how you have to be very careful on what you say in the presence of a spirit because they can twist your words and end up bidding yourself to it?? well uno-reverse-card the spirit also has to be careful on what he says because when Danny had said he owed the dude one for coming to his rescue in a gala Vlad had dragged him to, he didn’t expect that to be taken literally.
danny: wait seriously?? i literally say that all the time!
cw: not after being crowned ghost king, you haven’t
danny: but—but I was also human when I said it. doesn’t that protect me or smth
cw: *shakes his head*
danny:
danny: omg this is a nightmare
cue timmy’s brucequest period (cuz he’s the guy) being so high strung and tired, he just wants some company, which is a so low stakes thing to want the deal Danny unintentionally goes sure we can do that and pulls him towards the guy, despite Timmy never outright saying he wants company. (tim always speaks in the sanctity of his own mind, not out loud)
So. random spirit manifesting. Tim going all who the fuck are u
and Danny panicking and saying your guardian angel
Tim not being impressed while Danny promptly blushes like a moron because that did not come off as he wanted it to.
Yes accidental dead tired where the dynamic goes from Tim trying to shake this probably demon that somehow latched to him being all like ??? dude leave me alone, and Danny being there like bitch i’m trying
to
huh. im actually being protected by a spirit like he said he would. he’s strangely an idiot but also he’s overpowered and just never leaves my side which he says it’s an angel obligation but I think it’s bullshit but also hoping it’s not because it appeals to my crippling fear of abandonment (anyways he really seems to take after those little cartoon angels that poof into your shoulder to keep from me doing wrong decisions) translate into my future boyfriend seems increasingly appalled to what i am up to
meanwhile danny
Bitch you better thank your god I’m dead because otherwise I would already been killed. I did not sign up for a assassins what the fuck I thought you were a normal civilian not a literal superhero and omg that is a fruitloop. no no back off you wrinkly raisin this is my emotional support idiot you can’t have him and what do you mean you’re messing with time whatever this way I can get back to clockwork—
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good news : i might try to draw some more again this month
bad news? : its mostly from trying to 10+ years later join the Equestria Daily NATG so its really just gonna be horses. might not share it all
also as mentioned this is drawn after the very very good picture from this post
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put him in school
Greendale Community College
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“i could fix him”, “i could make him worse”. yeah, well,
I could meet him at the genesis of the universe, where the spaces between matter first gain sentience, and spark and spit their way into being—where the cradle of stars first take on a definitive kind of gravity and heat. I could be the engineer of creation.
I could ask a question.
I could stand across from him on a battlefield, trembling and reeking of ichor. I could hit the ground retching, all the bones in my body turning brackish and oil-slicked. I could lurch my way into a new world, a recalibration of reality in which I only know kindness as a set of snapping jaws, as a thing to flinch away from.
I could meet him in the garden, then, when the air's all hyacinth and dripping gold. And I could ache. Oh, how I could ache.
I could follow him through every wretched moment of history. I could trail after him like a hollow-eyed dog. I could hide my irises, could hide the brutal bloodiness of an all-too-human heart. I could hold the gun as I pretend not to pray, as I taste bile and will my hands to steadiness. I could trust him. And I could ache.
I could bite my tongue, cypher the words in my mouth, gnash them between jagged teeth. I could swallow my heart. I could go slower.
I could meet him at the end of the world, when hope claws its way up my throat, hungry and keening like a treacherous thing.
I could kiss him with six thousand years of want lodged and breaking in the mausoleum of my chest. I could hand him the blade; I could let him twist the knife.
I could be forgiven.
And still I could ache.
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doodles of my fav sillies
anton belongs to @poicyss
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Clone Danny Masterpost
So its been like, almost a week since the first part of clone danny came out and, in unsurprising Starry fashion, I already have six parts out. Granted they're not very long but six parts ARE six parts, so here is a masterpost!
Part 1. Danny Fenton Lives!! And also becomes a vigilante
Part 2. More Danny Fenton Trying To Be Phantom
Part 3. Danny finds out he's a clone. Oh and look Bruce is here too
Part 4. What to do when your genetic donor is suddenly in the same building as you: a guide to avoidance
Part 4.5. Dani's Got The Scary Dog Privileges: More On That Here
Part 5. Damian is a menace, and so is Ellie, actually.
Part 6. The Waynes Leave, finally!… And Danny ends up in Gotham
Part 7. Danny's still in Gotham. Send Help
Part 7.5. Remember Dan in part 2? he's back in an interlude :)
Part 8. Danny Gets His Phone Call
Memes PT1 Memes PT2
A Reflection On Danny's Reaction To Being A Clone
Other:
Au of an Au: combining two clones Clone^2 snippets More Clone^2 danny's hands
Danny becoming Phantom (Clone^2 AND Clone Danny applicable)
Starry geeks out about her unintentionally putting meaning behind Danny being Phantom without powers.
Tag for @gin2212 bc you wanted one when the masterpost went out
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there is something so so important to me about the fact that throughout the games, mordecai is presented clearly as someone who cares deeply about the people around him. btw.
like obvs there's his birds, but it's the people that gets me. he's the only bl1 vh who remains close with his group throughout the games. when lil and brick were taken and in hiding, he was roland's right hand for years. after roland's death, he was there to comfort lilith and grieve him with her. hes the one that gives you the mission in bl2 to find the tapes of jack abusing angel, and he's fucking pissed about it. he takes an active role in raising tina, and from the dialogue in fight for sanctuary, it seems like he is the only thing by that point keeping lil and brick in contact with each other. he's also the one encouraging brick to branch out, to get him interests and hobbies outside of fighting as we see in fight for sanctuary (even if brick's gardening still involved violence, lol).
and while we don't get to see their dynamics really play out in the games, from the way moxxi talks about mordecai its very obvious that he loved her deeply even though they were only together for a short time and their relationship ended messily. nevermind the fact that in bl3 mordecai takes up training grace and raising her up to be a vault hunter, and her death hits him hard. we get an entire funeral mission for grace, a character we've never been introduced to, just for mordecai.
idk!!! it's just really interesting to me that as the character who is usually seen as the solitary sort of loner/scout, he actually has such deep connections to the people around him. such a guy
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wonderful
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manifesting a s7 bi buck confirmation where the 118 are on a call and the victim/their friend/Random Civilian is getting annoyed makes a comment aimed at buck & eddie about "straight white men" and they both look offended then eddie says "do I look white???" and buck's like "do I look straight???"
how the others react (if at all) is tbc at this stage
i'm a sucker for inappropriate whisper arguments in the Absolute Worst of Situations so now all i'm seeing is eddie whipping around to buck when he says it with the widest doe eyes any human being has ever achieved and oblivious little buck waving the vic/friend/civilian off like "it's fine, could happen to anyone, you know" and then eddie's like "uh, yeah, it did, you're not straight?" and then it's like for the GA oh no are they going to do a kind of internalised homophobia arc for eddie where he re-examines his entire friendship with buck after finding out he likes men and yes he is going to re-examine his entire friendship with buck after finding out he likes men but it'll be the opposite of internalised homophobia (externalised homoeroticism)
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Got anything fun on your to-do list? (Spamton buddy)
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