#im just gonna talk about my first day but in the tags cause idk

[taikk0]

JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS

[the-kipsabian]

.

[astralnymphh]

I just got on and saw what’s been happening and bro…I’m glad people are talking about it. Mostly about the smut, inclusivity, Palestine, and the fetishization of trans people.

Reading smut is so underwhelming like it seems like that’s all what people write these days. Like I need ANGST! I need to CRY! I need SLOW BURN AND PLOT….

And to be honest, I personally feel like some writers purposely list the reader’s physical descriptions as being white… like damn you know multiple people are going to come across your shit. I would get annoyed asf when I see something like “she touched your soft pale flushed skin” BITCH- 💀 don’t piss me off 😒🦶🏽

I won’t speak too in depth about the fetishization of trans people in fanfics because I’m not trans and I don’t want to say anything inaccurate BUT I will say it’s so disturbing and off putting seeing shit like that and seeing how people are sexualizing trans people more than treating them like regular humans…I also came across that ‘femcel’ series and🧍🏽‍♀️erm… no.

I appreciate the account who made the post discussing how the word trans and the f word are completely different. I didn’t even know that word was derogatory and it shocked me... I hope that account takes it down and they educate themselves or something cause 🙁👎🏽

yes pook YES smut can be underwhelming and so overdone. we definitely need more angst/fluff.. or just PLOT in general. no, i'm not saying don't write it at all (incase anons twist my words, cause.. they're good at that.) i'm just saying that it would be nice to see some fully fleshed out pieces with emotion and storytelling. i have something in the works though, that encompasses all genres (fluff/smut/angst) so, there's that!

people will so clearly write the whole petite pale white girl bs like "ur delicate small hand" or the fuckass "doey eyed and blushing cherub red" like NEVER portray reader so specifically unless you're going to specify it in the cw!!!! do whatever for ellie's white ass but for the love of gods and goddess BE AWARE OF READER AS A SPOT TO FILL, NOT AN OC!!!! idk how else to describe what i just said. but. it is said. so it. yeah. that whole delicate small petite thing kinda trickles into writing childlike readers too but. thats a whole nother discussion. no clue if i ever used that phrasing in the past tho i have no bold memories of my writings in detail.

i think people will listen to anybody but trans people who are actively calling it fetishization, like. all the mfs arguing with them say "trans and f💀ta aren't the same!" yeah. they aren't. cause one is like, a genuine, flesh and bone person.. with a whole story.. and feelings.. and experiences.. and one is.. fetishization. how many times do trans people have to repeat that? bet most of the people trying to argue against it aren't even trans.

the whole thing about authors "flooding" the tlou tag with palestine posts is also dumb as fuck. is scrolling a bit too taxing on your poor smut-guzzling thumbs?? ur scrolling over big booty fics, i think you can scroll a little further past those posts if you're really that much of a basement dwelling fuck that's sitting comfortably in their homes while a genocide is happening. out here sobbing cause people are spreading awareness. eat my bum bum booty. ++ also add-on cause we're holding writers accountable for ignoring a strike (different than not knowing at first) but there's also the artists!! they're there too.

anons r gonna come into my inbox abt all this but i'm not even gonna answer like, don't waste your time. im not reading all that. especially coming from an ANON 💀

me when

[louscartridge]

hii can you make a how you arisu and met/started daiting and can you possibly add smut to it 🤞🏽

i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform without credit.

arisu x gn reader

cw- not rly proof read, swearing, arisu being a little bit of a stalker in a cute way if you squint, karube and reader being close, karube being a teasing shit, eventually established relationship, death, crying, kissing, arisu having a slight panic attack, the heart game arisu played :,(

A/N- unfortunatly, i coppied the intire story after i wrote it so it was like on here twice to if you read something more the once or something lmk so i can fix it lmaooo. also i got a liiiiitle carried away lmfaoo sry. also also theres no smut in this (because i got carried away) however you super duper cool favorite writer is going to make up for it by writing super duper cool smut headcanons n shit for arisu xx. edit- heres the smut

❥ you and arisu had met on a video game tbfh

❥ well no that was a lie

❥ you saw each other at the bar karube worked at, but like quite literally NEVER said jack shit to each other.

❥ you were just aware of each other but never rly thought about each other until you would see each other at the bar

❥ but then, you needed help on a paper for school and arisu was right next to you. you would ask karube, but you knew he wouldnt understand anything you wouldve said, and youve heard from karube that arisu was pretty smart so why not? you asked arisu the for help which he gladly accepted, he was bored anyway. soon enough you got the awnser. (which earned a snort from karube)

❥ then you like MET, MET in a video game

❥ karube and you knew each other fairly well and arisu knew that

❥ so instead of arisu talking to you himself, he seriously asked karube for your instagram

❥ after karube poking fun at arisu for ‘liking you’ he finally got it.

❥ you instagram led to your discord

❥ your discord led to your playstation (please idk if arisu played playstation or xbox.... or neither. kill me.)

❥ he saw you were in a game so he took that as his chance to add you as a friend cause if you were in a game you most likely wouldnt accept or deny it right away

❥ he joined the game you were playing and kinda just like did absolutely nothing

❥ he just watched you play

❥ he ended up being really impressed with how good you were doing tbh

❥ when you were done with the round you were playing you quickly accepted the request from arisu, knowing it was him since karube was laughing his ass off when arisu first texted him about you. 

❥ when you went to meet the guys at the mall the next day you immediately went up to arisu seeing as he was right where he said they would be, talking with karube and chota. 

❥ when you walked up to them karube whistled

❥ slowly turning to face arisu karube said “woooowww! look at that! someone is talking to you man!” 

❥ after another teasing remark towards arisu karube patted both of you on the sholder with a wink before walking away, chota frantically following behind him.

❥ “so..how’d you get my gamer tag hm?” (this is so stupid) you smirked

“i- what? i- i  didnt?” he would lie his thumbs safely tucked into the straps of his backpack over his shoulders. 

 “god your such a bad liar! look at you, not making eye contact at all, squeezing onto the staps of your backpack like im gonna kill you. karube wasent even trying to shut up when you texted him. i mean quite literally, laugh and reading me the text messages.”

 “well seeing as you dont have a problem with any of that.. could i maybe- possibly get your line? or- or something” 

❥ he was so shy it was adorable

❥ who were you to say no? (not like you wanted to)

❥ and so for a few months, you guys were inseparable.

❥ every time karube was with arisu so were you.

❥ every time you were with karube so was arisu.

❥ yet, you were both still oblivious to your feelings towards each other.

❥ karube was obviously not, still taking ‘sarcastic’ jabs at the two of you.

❥ playing games together, calling, sleeping, going to school, not going to school, pretty much everything was done together. 

❥ however, that included the borederlands.

❥ you were with karube, arisu, and chota when everyone but you guys seemingly disappeared. 

❥ at first it was fun, just you and your best friends with you and not needing to worry about anything at all.

❥ until it wasent.

❥ now it wasent pretty much everything was done together. it was absolutely everything was done together.

❥ but it still wasent until the hearts game that you guys didnt anything officially romantic together.

❥ you had gotten split up from everyone else during another game, earning you to miss the hearts game.

❥ when you went back to the apartment the five of you were staying in you expected to see everyone. chota, karube, arisu, shibuki. everyone. 

❥ instead, you were met with no one. 

❥ panic hit you right away thinking the worst of the worst. ‘they couldve just been getting food right?’

❥ quickly whipping towards the door, you didnt know if you were safe or as you heard the door to the apartment open hurriedly. 

❥ luckily you were.

❥ “oh my god arisu! where were you? wh- wheres everyone else-”

you were cut off from arisu walking towards you, pulling your face to his. his pull was harsh, though you knew he didnt mean it. the feel of his hands on the side of you cheeks were the opposite though. gentle, caring, loving, but.... they were..slightly shaking? before you pulled away, you felt a tear touch your cheek.

“why are you shaking? please tell me something..” you said to him looking in his eyes, trying to find anything other then the tears and almost numbness.

“theyre gone. y/n everyone is gone. but your not, oh thank god your not.” arisu cries. he puts his hands back on your cheeks but he doesnt kiss you this time. his eye just keeps darting all over you almost as if he was questioning if you were really there. “please- please will you be my partner?” he quickly asks breathing heavily.

“what?”

“loosing the others made me realize how much i actually love you i cant loose you i didnt and if i do i cant have you die not knowing how i feel about you” 

“yeah- yeah! yeah ill be your partner” you conform as you drag him over to the couch in the middle of the room. when you guys lay down you end up spooning, him being the little. your arms get rapped in with arisu’s and he tightly grips both of your hands in his, burying his face between his chest and your arms. you press light kisses to his neck and into his hair as he slowly starts to get his breathing down. 

you werent going to make him talk about anything. you figured if he wanted to he would. right now the two of you were fine like this. you tried to imagine what arisu went through, what happend, what happend to karube? he was your best friend. if you couldnt thank him for that you wouldve liked to at least thank him for getting you and arisu to where you are now. 

you eventually get snapped out of your thoughts as you hear soft, even, quiet breathing. arisu had fallen asleep. in your arms. you sniffed slightly thinking about how karube would be making fun of you guys right now and the amount of sex jokes he would try.

you kiss arisu’s head again whispering a ‘i love you too’ into his hair before drifted off to sleep yourself. 

[stargazer0001]

(art from above is by @/sleepinginmute.)

Hello everyone! I’m Stargazer0001! But you can just call me Star :3

my pronouns are she/they/he/it/astro in no particular order. I like em all so use them interchangeably

I'm your local lil space critter, who has declared themself the CEO of the rainworld ship Stargazer (spearmaster x rivulet x nightcat)

I'm a silly littol spacegender fellar :3 How can I be lesbian and spacegender at the same time you ask? Fuck you thats how!/j Im also asexual so no NSFW please! This blog is meant to be at least a bit more kid friendly, even if there are more mature topics

I am also a furry so if you do not like them then please leave here

I am also questioning if I am a therian and fictionkin. I have done research on both and I am now taking them into consideration. Im not gonna label myself yet because I still might not be, but if anyone has helpful info on them then please do share :)

I have a secret draw box! if you wanna draw for me anonymously, you can go here to do it! I check every couple days.

Ask box: Open

Ship requests: closed. Uhhh i frogor to update this for a while so uh yeagh.

Ask me stuff: Always open unless the ask box is closed

Tell me silly things: Yes I want to talk to people!! Please give me silly asks i need them....

art requests: not open sorry :( artblock is blocking my art so

I wanna make my blog more organized now so I am going to start tagging stuff

#my art Art that is made by me

#Art request anytime my art requests are open I will tag it with this

#ask An ask that I have answered, this also applies to anon asks

#Star.TXT document this is for anytime I am just talking

#vent this if for anytime I just need to talk and vent about stuff

#lil starz art this is for my really old art, such as the ones near the beginning of my Tumblr journey

#Silly chat this is me and my mutuals little chats! Like if they send a lighthearted friend ask I will tag it with silly chat

IF YOU DONT WANNA SEE A CERTAIN TAG THEN FILTER IT

I rarely block people but I still will on occasion. Please don't take any hard feelings if I do block you.

Basic DNI such as NSFW blogs, homophobes, transphobes, fatphobes, racists, antifurries and antitherians, and zionists

Cool moots who you should go check out if you like my blog:

@critter2: My IRL bestie that ive been with for a long time. We've been together through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. The bestie ever :3

@cookieeevee: An amazing friend! The first person to ever really DM me on here and I'd like to say that we've grown to be good friends. We have amazing little chats and she's an amazing person! Their art is also so soft and squishable! Go check em out

@sleepinginmute: one of my first moots! Such an amazing and silly creature. Its art is amazing, and even though im unsure if it considers me a friend, I know that I do. I really do wish the best for it and I hope that it can be truly happy someday

@cumulusbrume: we dont interact very often anymore, but I still find him a great moot to this day

@athofear: I fun lil fello!! Always a fun time interacting with em. Their art is also superrr shaped and silly!! Always a treat to see them on my dash

@meowyncherry: we dont interact much but he gave me the kinitopet brainrot and their art is also super blorbo so :3

@suburbandrifts: once again, we dont interact very often but they seem very cool and silly/pos and their art is incredibly good! mm the colors are coloring/pos @weeeeblr:!!! The art ever actually!!! Idk how we're mutuals cause hes super cool actually. Great art, and his designs for basically everything is peak/srs

@bananacat76: the bestie does indeed make art!!! And said art is amazing!! Such a cool person and fren :3 their style is also incredibly interesting I need to study it under a microscope/aff

@keeper-of-magic:!!! Cool person alert!!! Their art is amazing and their worldbuiding skills are super awesome!!! I also gotta try and play DND with them sometime.... I have no idea how to but it seems fun, just like them!

@badgerfrost: the silly ever!!! Its art is very well colored and its basically eye candy at this point, and ever time we interact I KNOW its gonna be a goood time

@draagu: ohhhh the silly!!! We dont interact much but shes a super cool moot and idk how we're mutuals like. ??? awesome person with awesome art FOLLOWED ME????? Awesome

@dazzoot: we have interacted a total of like 1 time but cool mutual deserves an honorary tag

GO CHECK ALL OF THESE SILLY PPL OUT!!! THEY'RE AWESOME :333 (if I forgor anyone i am so sorry. Also if you want me to untag you just ask. I dont wanna make anyone uncomfy)

Talking to people spooks me

I have anxiety so please be patient with me, I usually overthink what I am going to say and then end up saying something either really stupid, kinda weird, or I just don't respond.

I am mentally a 5 year old so please inform me if I did something wrong, I usually wont notice or I will think its not an issue. Please be patient with me.

if you sat through all of that, congrats! You get rw gifs now :)

[cl0wntwn]

I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED TO TALK ABOUT MY CATHAL INTERP

ok hi wow i'm posting something that isn't what i usually do but i want to share because. idk i'm autistic abt cathal and my personal interp could be taken as a mischaracterization(?) of the character so i want to ramble. it's a mix of projections, my interpretations of things cathal says/does, and headcanons. this is just gonna be a glorified bulletpoint list with little to no organization im so sorry. this obviously be inspired by this post cause i love it so much i'm rotating it in my mind please go check it out. this whole ramble was supposed to go into the tags of that post but i think i can organize it better in a text post. i can also share it easier. but please go read that post if u haven't :D

first things first, cathal is depressed.

ain't that a shocker? he's been depressed for a while, but it never really got to "i don't want to do anything ever" until he was hired at C.O.G.S. inc., and even then it's not really the main reason. it does make it hard for him to do things that he's asked of. he's not incapable of doing things though, unless he's like. super unmotivated or sad.

cathal is a papa's boy.

he loves his dad. ever since he was a kid, he's loved his dad. he appreciates the patience he has with him, he appreciates that his dad is willing to take hit for him not doing his work, his dad is first and foremost in his mind. his dad comes before his own wellbeing. which goes into my next point well...

seeing his dad being destroyed every day hurts cathal bad.

it is the main reason he hates working at C.O.G.S. inc.. yeah, the work sucks, it leaves him drained most of the time (which i will hit later), but the fact that he has to watch his own father basically fall to his death every day makes it all so much worse. not to mention he has a clear view of it from his office.

how does cathal cope with this stuff?

by distracting himself. and not doing his work at all. the work he has to do already drains him and what little energy his depression gives him, but i don't think seeing your dad dying every day helps with motivation. he distracts himself by watching tv and ignoring what he needs to do.

this is not to say that he is unaware of the work he has to do, he knows all the work he puts off piles up on him. but piles of work doesn't seem like the most easy thing to do... so he just keeps putting it off and putting it off, and his dad lets him get away with it by making excuses for him. it stresses him out, which makes him not want to do it more, and the cycle continues...

also believe it or not, cathal actually thinks about the future and is very stressed about it.

he knows that when his dad either retires or... can't work anymore, cathal's going to be the new department lead. and because he has literally no experience working where he is now. he's scared he's gonna get thrown into work he doesn't know how to do or doesn't want to do.

so why did cathal apply at C.O.G.S. inc. in the first place?

short answer, he wanted to make his dad proud and didn't process the gravity of applying to C.O.G.S. inc.. he didn't think it would take so much effort and energy to work a full time job. but now that he's been in it for a while, he's afraid to quit. he doesn't want to upset his dad or make the lack of work he's done worse by throwing it on others.

aaaand that's all i can think of. if i can think of anything else i'll edit this post and reblog it or smth. thank u for reading <3

[yournotsolocalcryptid]

Whatever Happens

6/?

PREV (One) / NEXT

tags: @transeliot @mentallyunstablebish @sarah0687 @cjand10 @warmommy if you would like to be added or removed from my writing tag just lemme know :)

Summary: idk man, fluffy stuff, tending to wounds, mini heart to heart typa vibes

Pairing: Billy/Four x Gender neutral reader

Word count: 666

Warnings: fluff, tending to wounds, cuddling american writing a brit, poor writing and editing skills etc

It was dark when you finally woke up. You lay in the quiet for a few minutes then hauled yourself off the bed and grabbed new materials for Billy's wounds. You found him laid out on his back on the couch with one nodding off in the chair. You turned on the lamp by billys head and saw the other man jerk awake as you did. You assumed he hadn't intended to fall asleep or let his guard down but you paid him no mind and continued. You knelt by billys abdomen and gently lifted his shirt above the bandaged area and carefully started removing those as well. You ignored his stare as you inspected the wounded area. You went in with some disinfectant just to be safe, which caused him to hiss, then you secured the new gauze and threw out the old. you then took a disinfectant wipe from your first aid kit to the remaining open wounds on his head. Some were healing well and some were bad enough that it was going to take more than just a few days to see progress. As you tenderly blotted then you were grateful neither of the two men had said anything and you hoped they wouldn't. You finished with the last one on his face and you noticed another near his collar bone which you gave the same treatment. As you pulled away his hand caught yours and he brought it to his lips and gave a quick kiss, you assumed in thanks. You turned, tossed the wipe in the trash and returned to your room, all the while you could feel his big beautiful puppy dog eyes on you. 

    You lay on your bed, back facing the door. You stared at the wall in the dark, zoned out and numb. You heard the door open and close softly behind you. You didn't move, you knew which one it was   Billy lay beside you. You both stayed silent for a long while the he said quietly “im sorry. I’m-” his voice cracked “so fucking sorry, love” 

   You didn't respond, you just lay there willing yourself not to cry, as you knew billy was too. After you you don't even know how long, you rolled over and lay your head on his chest as you’d done so many times so very long ago and murmured “we will have to talk about it eventually you know.”

   “I know” 

You both remained awake and in that position for hours, silence filling the room. Eventually your mind wandered to the man in the other room. You were surprised he was keeping his mouth shut and minding his own business, you were also surprised he was still here and it begged the question, why? Why was One still here and why had he told you so much? 

   You sat up “BIlly?”

   He hummed in response 

   “Why is he still here? And why did he tell me all that?”

   “not  entirely sure. His behavior is odd, even for him. I expected him to come for me and find me, I didn't expect the rest.”

   “is he gonna kill me? Is that why he…” you trailed off

   “No. I don't think thats his intention and I would never let that happen”

   “then why?”

   “Not sure, love. I’m as confused as you are.” he reached up and gently starts rubbing small circles on your back. It was soft and reassuring. He’s here and you're safe, but you cant help but doubt how long it would last. He left before he might again, but something deep down told you he’d never leave your side. That this was somehow different than before and he’d never do it again. You weren't sure if this feeling came from your soul, heart, head, gut, intuition, context clues or if you were just deeply delusional but here you were believing the man who’d lied, left and faked his own death when he said “whatever happens, I’ve got you”

[tiyoin]

How does one acquire moots on this app(like how does that work😭😭?? Do other writers dance around each other like “hey I like your work” and then eventually become mooties?)

Weird ask I’m sorry

not a weird ask at all!!! because if you find out, lmk.

i used to complain on my blog about having no friends on tumblr so you’re not alone 😭 my first blog i had 1 friend (we met through paganism& we got each others socials. but we don’t talk anymore :,( ) then my second blog i had 2 and when switching over i lost 1 due to her deleting her blog and eventually my other friend stopped logging on, then on my third blog (this one) i finally have more than 2 friends (i hope) and even now idk if they’ll leave or smthn will happen. i briefly became friends with a random blog because we liked the same niche móvil pvp game and played a little bit… didn’t last long tho… i deleted the game for storage and haven’t been on since 😿

but yes. that’s usually how it happens (i think, still experimenting with this one)

i’m just gonna speak on how i became friends with my friends cause i also have no clue. hope this helps tho!!

honestly i got closer / made friends with a few people during the tumblr poke day. but most of the times it’s writers dancing around each other with ‘i like your writing’ and ‘omg they’re so cool i think i’m not cool enough to befriend them so ill just kinda stand around in the back cheering for them’ kinda stuff

(there’s one writer i wanna be friends with SO BADLY but im nervous so i just anon for her)😭

but i made another friend by becoming mutuals first and we started interacting friendly with each other and we became friends that way. (actually i think she made the first move 😭 this scenarios happened with my 2 other writer friends)

but i also became friends with people who interacted a lot with me through asks. they kept asking me things (a good thing) and i kinda lassoed them in and decided ‘you’re my friend now☺️’.

like personally, the more someone interacts with me the more i’m gonna interact with them and after a while i consider them my friend and bestow a tag for them. though i know the difference between someone wanting to be my friend and someone just asking a question or just interacting. regardless of the fact it’s very important to be polite and welcoming to everyone! not just because it’s courteous and kind, but it takes a lot of courage to ask an ask, even as an anon. (especially for those who have anxiety over like me).

fun little story: the closest online relationship i had was with someone i met on twitter in a kpop gc. we were so close to each other (a state away) that we’d ft quite frequently. but we grew apart due to life and she moved to the philippines so we don’t talk. i do, however, talk to her cousin😭 idk how that been started but we’re planning to visit each other soon😭😭 (he’s in europe). so you never know what’ll happen

a lot of the times you’ll lose friends who just go to different platforms with out giving each other other socials, or they’ll become busier with life, or just don’t go on the platform a lot and that lowkey sucks.

sometimes im still surprised i have online tumblr friends, because i knew thought that’d happen. so keep your chin up, and be confident 🫶

hopefully this helped you, i apologize if it doesn’t cause i have no clue😭🙇🏻

[multi-fandom-of-madness]

Hi! I just wanted to tell you that i really really enjoy how you write ur dialogue. Especially when one of the Ghouls gets all mean and snappy but still watch out for their safe words and all idk its nice and raw and hot. When - I think it was - Ifrit opens his mouth for Omega's cock in anticipation and instead gets spat into it.... i audibly gasped and covered my mouth cause i never read something similar to that ever before in a Ghost Story and- WELL... its a weak point of mine. Gimme all the spitting Ghouls. :] So thank you for writing the way you write and i wish you an amazing day/night. whatever it is for you.

I’m so happy you enjoy my writing that really means a lot to me <3 I’m also really sorry that I didn’t respond to this sooner, I didn’t even see a notification for it and I haven’t checked my inbox much recently

Under the cuts are my mini rants (pos) about some of the stuff you commented on

Link to the Omega X Ifrit fic here for those who are curious

Im gonna talk about the spit stuff first cause I went on a little tangent about the other stuff :)

I love spit!! I personally think it’s very hot and it’s so difficult to not just make it my trademark and sneak it into all of my smut

Like idk what it is about spit that gets me, but it is definitely a weakness of mine - I also just think that so many people write about other bodily fluids for ghouls (cum, blood, piss), and there isn’t enough of spit!! You can trust that future fics will definitely involve more spit :)

(That also is probably my favorite fic I’ve written so far idk what it is about it I was just so into it)

I love writing mean and snappy ghouls (because I also view myself in that light and at that point it’s just internal dialogue lmao) - but I always try to make sure that everyone is enjoying everything because I know there can be issues where something isn’t tagged as dubcon, but there’s never explicit consent for a rough scene and it makes me feel a little itchy. I also personally like making things feel real(ish) more than just fantasy where safe words just don’t exist. I think safe words and trust are two of the most important things when it comes to anything involving kink.

I also just like making the ghouls feel more…human I guess (?) - like I know they’re not human, they’re demons from hell. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings. Like a lot of writers love putting ghouls in angsty situations or just talk about how in love the ghouls are because they have feelings, yet then will write such feral smut and it’s always a bit iffy when it comes to consent. It feels a little hypocritical to say that they enjoy rough sex 24/7 and don’t have feelings about it, yet have big feelings about everything else.

[milo-is-rambling]

You ever get drunk and high and read about the trump news while one of your closest friends (one of the two close friends you have) is asleep smiling next to you and you feel like somewhere out there there’s another universe where your father never died and your mother never grew into her own person and you never did x y z thing in x y z order and like idk it’s just very like,,, offputting and healing at the same time to read the news on my own time after seeing one too many posts referencing trump instead of hearing it on Fox News or from my father yelling at the tv about it and like yeah god idk it’s weird grief is weird big feelings watched the last episode of the midnight gospel today (yesterday) and now my brain is like wee ooo wee ooo your dad is dead wee ooo wee ooo it’s June it’s Father’s Day month wee ooo wee ooo your grandfather died yesterday (my fathers dad) weee ooo wee ooo brain on fire weee ooo wee ooo random memories of my first ever therapist have started randomly popping up in my memories and I do not know why they’re there. But they seem relevant. Hmm. also have talked about slash thought about my past relationships much more recently than I ever do and it is technically on par with my cherry tag season vibe to be in my feels about homoerotic friendships from highschool while drunk on brown liquor and root beer (a la root beer float the blackbear song I listened to a LOT in like 2017 maybe. 2018?) but it’s still a bit umm. All encompassing. just overwhelming. On my mind in a very low buzzing type of way. girls when they feel evil for their past actions because they loved too hard every time and then doomed it by wanting what was best for themselves or the other persons mental health at the time and being selfish but like I have to step back and be like oh woah a fourteen or fifteen year old was selfish woooahhh that’s crazyyy!!!! Never heard of That before. A 14/15 year old putting themselves and their own mental health first and then feeling like the worst person on the planet and for sure developing some trauma from the whole situation 🙀🙀🙀 wwahhhhhhh okay maybe that one is a bit more me but im sure im not alone there. Brains are weird. Also kind of Just Now clicking in my brain that I did in fact get weirdly afraid of liking women after I broke up with my first girlfriend and it ended poorly so I fully was like hmm I definitely can’t be a lesbian because I am not Allowed (by myself I guess) to like women bc now I am afraid of fhem (not sexy style) but then recently (ish) I fucked a dude and got traumatized by that (legitimately) (and also just like. Didn’t have fun.) and now I’m like looking back on my life more and going hmmm. Maybe I’m a lesbian and maybe I’ve been afraid to say that for literally years and years and years because of my own past perceptions from hearing my family / the internet talk growing up and maybe I have this realization over and over again and then go wahhh idk tho cause I’m baby I have done nothing been nowhere met no one so I just say whatever I’m queer and it doesn’t fucking matter if I love someone I love them regardless like at the end of the day those are the fuckin facts. Bam mic drop. Idk. It’s only one thirty nine in the morning eek I took an accidental like four hour nap yesterday and then we were drinking and smoking so like I have evergyyyy and I had some sugary stuff so I’m like awake as fuck rn but it’s fine it’s good I’m gonna smoke an indica bowl and pet the dog and fall asleep super comfy like the second I put my head on the pillow I bet

[sowthetide]

GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS this is teainabowl AND IM BACK WITH MORE NONSENSE AS PROMISED. family crisis almost averted?? i havent slept in 2 days but lmao who cares. (you cant see me rn but i want you to know that im doing a happy little jump skip dance as im writing this)

BECAUSE!!!!! ok. lets talk about genderbending in fandom. i think what usually gives me the ick in those fics is they do nature vs nurture wrong??? like a lot of the time they’ll just change the NATURE of the character and use the different gender as an excuse which. idk idk it runs me the wrong way. BUT QUENN!!! shes very much still theon?? just, nurtured differently. am i making sense? i have been traumatized by some bio-essentialism bs in the past when trying to look into similar fics bc i love gender fuckery PEOPLE JUST DONT GET IT LIKE I DO (or you, appearantly hkdhhfjh i love your story it means so much to me) 

and asoiaf is SUCH a gendered world??? like it has so much untapped potential where even a single characters gender can have SO MUCH IMPACT (can you imagine if joffrey had been a girl?? or if sansa had been a boy???) 

but what originally started my spiel was the realization that jon wouldnt have gone to the nights watch if he was a girl. and. what then?? slightly horrifying tbh, and makes me wonder if one of the other character had been male (read; they had been given more agency and autonomy in their lives) what would have changed???

but back to jon, bc then i immediately thought, ok, lets backtrack a bit, who would jon even BE. bc a lot of jons character revolves around his (lack of) a relationship with catelyn, his siblings mother. but she would have a harder time avoiding him if he was a she, right?? am i making sense???? a girl isnt seen like as much of a threat to her children i thinks?? idk i love cat and jon so much a love picking apart their relationship bc bc bc ARGHhhgg yk? also i like to think of ned being haunted by lyannas carbon copy who happens to be great with swords (would he be permitted to practice swordplay??) idk

ANYWAYS no we come to the part where i tie it up to what you mentioned in your answer. bc as much as JON being a girl might change his relationship with cat, it would be much more fucked up if it were robb, me thinks. (i too am a bit guilty of using robb as an accessory to cat) but but but. are. are you seeing my vision. catelyn stark with her three daughters when ned leaves for the greyjoy rebellion. catelyn whos convinced that the reason her husband wont send his bastard away is because she cant give him any sons. in the books she calls bran her special little boy and. idk the double meaning this would give it. and bran!!! being the heir!!! hiw would that change things??? would the reception to his accident be different?? and speaking of, what about king robert and his obsession with joining his family with neds? i havent talked about how robb (robyn?) would be different in this au but i cant think hed be as pleased as sansa was? his first shown interaction with joff is him trying to curb stomp the fucker lmao. i dont think he would be likely to have a different opinion bc of gender changes. in the books hes often rash and impulsive and prideful, and id want him to keep those traits, but peoples reactions to them would be different?? and so he would shape them in different ways??? am i making sense i feel like im just rambling. this is getting way too long and wayy to incoherent i need to stop. ok bye for now ill be back (threatening)

GO TO BED!!!! GET SOME SLEEP!!!!! But yay! to family crisis averted? Maybe?

Okay. I'm gonna indulge in some haterism for a second cause I've actually poked around the ASOIAF genderbending tag quite a bit. Unfortunately, a lot of those fics? Lame as hell. There's a preponderance of genderbent Jon Snow, which I think is totally cool! Very interesting genderbend to explore because of how much it changes the trajectory of his story. But then the character isn't really written as Jon at all? Maybe I'm just picky about characterization, but oftentimes fem!Jon just becomes this cookie-cutter "strong/feisty" female protag and it's like...

Sorry. I'm being mean. Obviously, there is no singular "correct" take on a given character, as we're all influenced by our own experiences and perceptions. My take on Theon isn't the exact same as yours, or goddcoward's, or Ashen's, or GRRM's. A unique Theon exists in all our heads, each one a bit different from the others.

But! Genderbends are so much more fun when you can see the underpinnings of the character you know, and there are moments where those aspects really shine through. And it's like OH!!! (pointing vigorously) THERE THEY ARE!!!! Otherwise, why not just write an OC, or adopt a minor character with very little canon characterization? (Admittedly, this can become a problem when you start collecting minor characters like Pokemon cards. I am my own evidence of this phenomenon.) If it ain't Jon, then why have it be Jon at all, y'know?

ngl female Joffrey has been rattling around in my brain lately... 👀fem!Joffrey would definitely be betrothed to Robb, which would be a complete and utter shitshow (appreciative/affectionate). Joffrey as a true mini-Cersei has such insane juice to it as a story idea, especially considering that Joffrey never liked Cersei all that much lol... the mother-daughter dynamic would be BONKERS.

Back to Jon though:

First, you're definitely right that fem!Jon wouldn't be seen as much of a threat to her siblings as Jon was. She would probably be married off pretty quickly once she came of age, as high as possible for a woman who was bastard-born. I don't see Catelyn liking her per se, but Catelyn wouldn't have the same misgivings about her as she did about Jon. Since fem!Jon probably wouldn't become the vessel of the wildling/Others plot, she might have an interesting role to play if she went south... to marry Robert's royal bastard Edric Storm, perhaps? I could see Robert "having his Lyanna" by marrying fem!Jon and Edric. But then shit hits the fan with the usual plot of AGOT, and maybe fem!Jon gets taken hostage by the Lannisters in King's Landing? Or gets caught in Renly's shit since she was with Edric at Storm's End? I am NAWTTTT talking myself into writing another fic. Go to hell. I need to finish Sow the Tide first.

fem!Robb (Robyn between myself and goddcoward) is even crazier. Catelyn would NOT be fucking happy to have Ned's spitting image hanging around Winterfell, while all her sons are under 10 and have the Tully look. I could see Catelyn successfully arguing that Jon should be fostered out, perhaps in the Vale (as a favor on the part of Jon Arryn)? Like, oh, Ned, you and Robert became such good friends fostering together in the Vale... that way, Jon is waythefuckoverthere and can't make any allies in the north.

I'd love for Robyn to have some of the same anger and pride, and she'd probably be similar to Catelyn in that she was raised as the heir for a good bit of time before the "real" heir came along years later (Bran+Edmure). Also, Catelyn would absolutely NOT trust Theon around Robyn. Not At All. Kinda fair though? Robyn would also be older than Sansa was in AGOT, so I think she'd be at least a little bit more worldly and pick up on Joffrey's... Joffreyness. Robb/Robyn are still dutiful characters, but I think there would be a lot more immediate friction between her and her betrothed. Double genderbend Throbb is my true love, however (Quobyn my beloved).

I've gotta finally go work on chapter 40 now, so I can't answer everything, but do come back... I'll be here... revolving all of these genderbends around in my head...

[the-kipsabian]

listened to a podcast talking about this a bit, so im gonna be unhinged for a hot second about the orange cassidy belt corruption arc

i would love one day to write a kinda comprehensive "guide" to all of this, but i'd have to go back to watch a lot of stuff for it (so it would probably have to be after im done with all kip vs oc rewatch stuff. ofc if theres critical changes to this situation that might change idk let me know if this is anything of interest?), buttttt heres a few misc highlights for what i can pull out from the top of my head

first of all, here. what i believe is one of the most pivotal moments in this whole thing. so during the match with pac where oc won the title, danhausen threw a curse at pac literally right above the title

now this was because pac was trying to cheat by using a ring hammer (twice). which honestly kind of already tells us a lot about corruption, i dont remember if he was already kind of mean and wicked with the hammers before his reign, i mean pac has always been a bastard, but you know. did he start doing this after he won the title? cause that would be saying a lot

this also goes hard in this match, cause after pac is caught trying to use the hammer, oc also almost uses it on him. at this point, its just almost tho. its very close, but he chooses to throw it away, and win the match clean. the key here is, what the title is already doing to him before he even gets his hands on it

anyways. so oc does this title reign. all is swell up until the point kip challenges for it, cause thats where the mind games begin which i believe is an important part of this whole deal. kip separates him from his friends effectively, continuous taunting and mind games, he pushes oc to his limits mentally, forcing him to tap into a very dark place in his mind to overcome the odds to beat kip (also oc was showing the first cases of more vicious behavior in this match so like)

like literally this whole storyline is confirmed by the man himself to be about this like. how could this not tap into and mess with ocs psyche going forward tho

also this is just my things but. at revolution, that one time he tagged with danhausen to challenge for the tag titles, oc was the one to change his gear to black. tbh this is personally for me where this whole corruption brainrot started, but its worth mentioning, cause he has not done it since. even when teaming with hook, it was hook who changed his gear colors to match the denim. im just saying (as in, danhausen has to have a finger in this pie somehow. he just absolutely has to)

i didnt watch a lot of what happened with house of black, but thats where the physical issues started. im just inclined to believe that the physical pains just amplified his need to push himself, to show the world that hes worthy of holding this belt and being a champion despite being injured - cause thats what all this was about, right? oc having to prove to the world that despite how hes been viewed up until this point, hes actually an incredible wrestler and a worthy champion. come hell or high water, he will prove that

and thats part of why the belt was so important to him, which could easily be also turned around to be the so called "siren call" of the belt. get me and keep me with whatever way is necessary to prove yourself as a worthy champion. yes even if it costs your mental and physical health and all your friends

and so this got pushed until he literally couldnt do it anymore as mox took oc to his limits and defeated him after physically beating him down worse than before (or i mean, a week after stadium stampede? yeah both of these are factors here lbr). and you saw the miserable creature oc was after losing that title. finding solace in friends that were champions (hook and kris. i think this is an important plot point, i dont think we saw him around chuck and trent during this time. the best friends with no titles....), maybe trying to grasp for some of that former glory that he used to have

until he won the title again. and he was HELLBENT on getting it back. and after he won it, well.. i shared thoughts about this here. which is a very interesting contrast to the first time, a year ago, when he won it the first time

i dont know if i had more thoughts rn, i have lost the plot so heres everything for now. just.. yeah. i have way more things somewhere in my blog and like said i should watch all this back to get everything, but quickly putting it together heres few key points of things. anyways enjoy or whatever. feel free to share thoughts im all ears (especially if i missed anything seemingly key stuff)

[whatthefishh]

Delta Squared Chapter 1

A/N: So, this story is somewhat based off of Think Like a Man, I thought our favourite boys would fit these tropes quite nicely and wanted to write something fun and kinda silly! I hope can enjoy, even if you have seen the movie because I did make changes :) This will have several chapters, but hoping to keep it easy to follow. This chapter focuses on the boys and Benny. No smut, no warnings really except a few swear words. 2.4k words

It all starts sometime in May, the boys’ weekly outing causing the fates to set you up in front of the TV at just the right time. Well, sort of started then. 

###

(01:23 am) Tom wtffff

(01:23 am) im hiding in the bathroom from that weird girl who smelled like burritos next to us

(01:24 am) can i come out yet

(01:26 am) dunno

(01:26 am) but brb

(01:26 am) santi’s helping me get this girl off my back

(01:26 am) so the one who was basically following me is gone?

(01:28 am) also what youre engaged

(01:28 am) just show her a pic of Mads

(01:30 am) true lol

(01:31 am) im just gonna come back

(01:31 am) if shes standing right outside the bathroom ill scream

(01:32 am) idk what ur talking about but will made a face so maybe he knows who you mean

(01:32 am) then again that might just be him pining

(01:32 am) for that girl

(01:32 am) who broke up with him bc he quit his job

(01:32 am) the one hes been "dating" for 2 weeks

(01:32 am) OH

(01:32 am) santi and fish are trying to tag team this girl

(01:32 am) tag team?

(01:32 am) santi and fish are drunk af

(01:32 am) doesnt mean theyre not gonna do it

(01:35 am) uh yeah it does but whatever im on my way

###

Benny emerges from the haven of the bathroom, immediately making a beeline for the boys’ table. Thankfully, the girl who seemed to be at his elbow at every turn was nowhere to be seen. Even halfway across the bar, Benny could see Santiago chatting up some poor unsuspecting woman and wonders to himself with amusement which line he went with this time, the player that he is. He’s ridiculously successful at this, always has been, even in their time in Delta Force, his ability to charm anybody and everybody driving the boys nuts. Frankie had apparently given up the tag team idea, and let him run his game, choosing to watch from the sidelines. 

Benny checks his phone to see if he got a text from you, sending one out asking how you’re feeling. He feels bad for leaving you at home, sick, but you had insisted he go out with the boys, claiming you’ll join them next time. You two had been dating for years now, bordering on 8, your relationship having been an undefined thing at first due to his back and forth in the military. Once he had come back for good, it was almost too simple how you two had made things official, falling into a routine as easy as breathing. But still… he hadn’t proposed yet. 

You were a relatively successful hairstylist, owned your own salon, got along with the boys, matched his energy for all the dorky movies he was into, and incredibly chill with his energy it was almost too good to be true. You even dressed up with him in a couples costume of Han and Leia that one halloween, binging the movies with him throughout the month to prepare for the role. So, you could be forgiven for mistaking the little velvet box he got you last valentines day for a ring, screaming out “Yes!” until you opened it to see a simple but pretty pair of diamond studs. You didn’t understand why he was waiting, you two lived together, shared a car, planned for your future; the domesticity of your relationship was so deeply ingrained in your bones, everyone already assumed you were married until they noticed the empty space where your ring should be. You didn’t want to pressure him, though. He was your Benny, your best friend, and you loved him so much. Star Wars posters, figurines, and all. 

You flipped through the channels at home, eventually landing on Oprah, recognizing her guest as Steve Harvey, the host from Family Feud. 

“Welcome back, everybody. We are still here with best-selling author Steve Harvey. (Camera switch to Steve) - Well, what I try to get women to understand is that times have changed, but your playbook hasn't. I've gotten thousands of letters from all kinds of women who can't seem to find a man, keep a man or get what they want from their man. Until you understand how a man loves, how a man operates, how he thinks, until you get into the mindset of a man, you will never win with us in the game of love.”

Despite your better judgement, you stayed on the channel to see what new information he could possibly be adding to the world of love advice.

“We have a question in the audience. (camera turns to woman in the audience)- Hi, Steve. I've been living with my boyfriend for five years and he says that he loves me and he's fully committed. I guess what I want to know is, how come he hasn't popped the question?- (camera turns to Steve) He hasn't popped the question because you haven't required him to.” 

You roll your eyes at the pedantic answer, but stay listening to see if you could get anything useful out of this.

###

Benny catches part of Santi’s words to the girl on his way to the table, and the tail end of it has him quickly covering his mouth to hide his laughter.

“I’m sorry, but Jesus has my heart.” The girl had said.

“Yeah, no, no, no, I get that. I love Jesus, too. They actually used to call me Pope back in the military,” Santiago countered, sure that he’d walk away with her number. 

“You boys won’t believe how Santi’s trynna pick up this girl,” Benny says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder as he joins the others at the table. 

“Oh I can already imagine it’s weird, she gave me crazy vibes just by the way she was trying to touch Tom’s beard after 2 seconds,” Frankie laughed. 

Santi returns to the table sooner than any of them would have guessed, and they assume he got shot down - rare, but it does happen. 

“No luck?” Will asks, a little eager to share his misery with someone else at the table. Will’s most recent venture into finding love ended as pathetically as his last; he was too much of a dreamer to keep a steady job after returning home. Apparently, the women he was going on dates with didn’t appreciate his goal of finding something he was passionate about. He just wanted someone to support him, the same way he would give his full support for his partner. 

Santiago looked at each of his friends’ faces and then broke out into a smug smile, “No, I got it. Cmon, you guys really thought I couldn’t? Have some faith.” 

The last comment had Benny cracking up again, and he checked his phone again to see if you’d replied. 

“How’s Daph doin’?” Will asks his little brother, eyes catching him checking his phone periodically. 

“She’s alright, she-” He starts but gets cut off by Fish.

“She's phenomenal, pendejo, we don’t understand why she’s with you,” Frankie laughs, and Santi joins in. 

“Nobody does! How good is your credit score? Do you even know how to check your credit score?” 

They all laugh at that, Benny included. 

“Daphne is amazing, you guys are right. She even loves my nerdy shit. Will doesn’t even like my nerdy shit,” Benny elbows his older brother. 

“You sure about that? Maybe she just loves you. Deep down inside, she’s probably thinking ‘this is some silly ass shit’” Tom counters with his eyebrows raised, challenging him. 

Out of them all, Tom had the least complicated relationship. He just wanted to make Madison happy, simple as that, and Mads felt the same towards him. He was usually the one giving level headed advice around the table whenever the boys would bring up their lady problems, and as much as they wouldn’t want to hear it at first, they usually conceded, knowing he was being reasonable. 

“Nah, I know her, alright? She is just as into all of that as I am.” 

The night goes on in a similar fashion, catching up and teasing, until Tom stands up, stating that he needs to get back to his fiancé, making the others groan in displeasure. 

“When's the wedding again, Tom? You’ll have all the time in the world, laaaaaater,” Santi gripes. 

“You guys still have to take me out for my Bachelor party, how do you not know when the wedding is? It’s next- No, you know what? You can figure it out and plan it when you’re sober, I’m heading out!”

They all chimed in for their goodbyes, knowing they’d see each other in a few days. Benny started to rise from his seat as well, finishing off the last of his beer before announcing his departure. 

“Gotta get back to my girl, she’s not feelin’ too well.” 

“Yeah, I should go, too, gotta pick up my kid from my mom tomorrow.” Frankie adds, also getting up from his place. 

Santiago and Will share a look which doesn’t go unnoticed by Frankie, who immediately gets defensive, “What?”

“Don’t lie to us Fish, you’re gonna go there tonight and she’s gonna give you your onesie and tuck you in the same way she does for your kid!” 

Santiago’s never let go of an opportunity to rip on Frankie’s relationship with his mother. Everybody knew he was a momma’s boy, but now he uses his daughter as an excuse for why he’s over all the time. She cooks all his meals, she does his laundry for him, they even have matching pyjamas which they wear on their movie nights together. He stops by on his way home from work because she’s made his favourite dish, or picked up those socks he likes from Costco. Santiago is only teasing but it’s become glaringly obvious that for all that he complains about being a single dad, Fish doesn’t really make time for another woman in his life. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Pope. Don’t come asking for her pie next time you’re over.”

“Now hey-” Threats were getting serious, Santiago had to back up a bit. 

###

The first bomb had been dropped. 

The next day had you heading to your local bookstore, with your notebook in hand, filled with scribbles of tips from Steve. You had finished the episode of Oprah, surprised to have found some possibly useful ideas to push Benny to the next step in your relationship. Looking for his book, you tell yourself you’re not tricking him, you’re just trying to move forward in your life together. 

Settling in to read for a bit before Benny came home, you found the chapter that focuses on “The Non-committer”, aka your Golden Retriever boyfriend, which described how you need to require him to step up and propose. Your last birthday, the boys came over for dinner; they treated you like one of their own, which was wonderful! Except that it was your birthday, and you were dressed for a romantic dinner for two. You really were one of the boys. Speaking of which, you looked around, noticing how much your shared apartment looked like a college dorm room, one that housed several boys, not the sophisticated adult space you always envisioned. You develop an idea, one that might upset him but that will overall clean up the place and make it look like two working adults live there. There’s a used bong on his favoured side of the couch for fuck’s sake. 

Yeah, that’s it, the first move has already formed in your head, your calculating gaze sweeping across your living room making note of what you’re going to keep and what’s going in storage. The couch will have to wait for another day, you can’t lift it on your own.

Later that evening, Benny comes home while you’re making dinner, chicken wings and fries - not your guilty mind telling you to make his favourite, nope - and his joyful shout at the smell makes your stomach twirl happily. After all these years, his easy smile and comforting presence is still your favourite thing in the world and you want to never stop seeing it. On his way to kiss your cheek in greeting, he catches a glimpse of the drastically different living room space and stops mid-walk, body visibly frozen in shock. 

“Babe! Did we get robbed?! Where’s all of my posters, my figurines?! How did you not notice we got robbed?!!” He’s rushing to inspect the empty spaces.

“Relax, I just tidied up a bit,” you try to keep your voice even and light. “They’re safe, Vader’s safe. I just thought we could paint the living room.”

He exhales in relief, painting he could deal with, painting he could work with. 

“...and redecorate,” you say under your breath. 

“Redecorate?” Benny echoes, confusion taking up his pretty face. “I thought you liked that stuff, why would you wanna redecorate?”

Dropping the last of the wings into the deep fryer you turn to face him fully. “Because, Benny, it looks like we’re still in college. We’re adults, we make decent money, don’t you want this to look like a real home? One where all of our friends haven’t had sex on our couch?”

“What’s wrong with my couch?”

“Baby, it has duct tape holding the back together. We’ve literally had it for ages, and God knows how many times you’ve spilled your bong on it!”

“This couch has history!”

You just level him with a look, before showing him the couch catalogue you were browsing, pointing out the ones you thought he’d like. 

“I’d rather watch How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days with you again than couch shop,” Benny grumbles.

“I know you would because I caught you watching it by yourself a week later. Cmonnnn Benny, it smells so bad.”

“Okay, fine but listen I’m really bad at this. Can you just do it without me? I trust you to pick one. Please?” He leans in to kiss your cheek and heads straight for the deep fryer, gathering the rest of the food to set out for the two of you. 

Surprise colours your face but you’ll take the win. New couch, slightly more adult space, this was shaping up to be a productive evening. The two of you ate dinner, Benny making loud noises of enjoyment from the guilt-wings you made, watching your post-work show together. These are the moments you loved, the simple comfort of each other’s presence, of having your best friend there at the end of every day. 

[andi-is-bored]

ANDI andi ANDI no fucking way you think im cool

no fucking way cause it was conan day and i was scrolling down the tag and i saw a bunch of your posts and i was like this girl is SO cool and then you followed me!!!!!!!! you were like my first conan mutual which is a HUGE deal cause CONAN also i was just gonna say smash but i really wouldn't cause he's baby and bsf not bf im sure you get it wow totally off topic anyways i love you SO SO SO much omg i love talking to you cause unlike some people we actually agree on most if not everything and there are very few things better than meeting someone who just absolutely shares the same thoughts one everything its insane i love you so much and that is all

YES FUCKING WAY! you were my first conan mutual too! like actually before august i never posted about music honestly, it was just fandom shit and then when i was on vacation with my family and on a road trip back home from said vacation, delirious out of my mind cause i was sick with a fucking runny nose and could only keep my eyes open for a minute at a time, i had gotten really into conan gray and listened to his entirely fucking discography cause i’m crazy and decided to post about it cause i was listening to winner like it was my fucking job and i needed to talk about it and my sister didn’t care cause she was also sick so i posted on here and you reblogged it and idk man, i just thought you were really cool and nice and i wanted to be friends so i followed you :) i rambled a little there for a minute but yeah.

also yes completely get it, he is fantastic but not smashwise. now i love YOU SO SO MUCH CAUSE AGAIN YOURE SO INCREDIBLY COOL and i literally love talking to you all the time and i agree it’s so nice when you have the same opinions and you can freak out about the same things with people it’s the best honestly.

but yeah THE POINT IS THAT I LOVE YOU AND I THINK YOURE AWESOME SO YEAH! <333

[boneyard-lovers]

its almost my bday - 230919

eight days! my mother already bought her present, she had to go through me cause she doesnt know how to do it herself lmao. im excited cause my birthday is like the only time i can hang out with my family and not have a shit time.

its also my boyfriends birthday like a few days before, im making it a playlist, and maybe helping out with a photoshoot thing? im not 100% sure about that one.

im turning 18. i feel like im supposed to be excited, 18 is a big age. i always feel kinda strange on my birthday. this year is no exception. this is my first birthday after the move. i miss my old house. i miss my dad. i hate it here. i hate this. whatever

ive been thinking about adding tags to my posts but idk what i would even put. im still kinda lost on how tumblr works lmao. also idk if i want people to find these.

i wanna do like a video call with someone but idk if anyone else would want that. not to talk just to hang out. i miss having people nearby. this sucks. im gonna try to visit someone soon. anyone.

this was kinda all over the place, sorry. next time should be better.

the song for this post is true blue by boygenius

[trashcreatyre]

Aahaha